#anythinggoesfandoms

[secondratefiction]

An AU where the batkids are closer in age and all go to gotham academy... chaos ensues, because these boys are chaotic good, and the girls are true good

The principal has Bruce Wayne’s personal cell on speed dial.

Not that it does much good, he lives in a house with six high schoolers and one very temperamental middle schooler. Bruce Wayne lost his ability to give a fuck about anything years ago.

Barbra isn’t even his kid, why is he getting calls about her too?’

“I’m sorry to hear that a seventeen year old girl managed to hack your entire system, sir. I still don’t understand what that has to do with me. Perhaps you should try to contact Commissioner Gordon.”

The others on the other hand... those he can’t pawn off on anybody else.

“It’s been twelve years, at this point there should be some kind of note in his file that Dick is going to fidget and sit in strange positions, it’s just something he does... No, I am no considering any medications for him. Or any of my children for that matter.”

“I’m sorry, Jason did what now? No, no I’ll definitely speak with him about this. Thank you Principal Weatherby.” - “Jason... Jason I don’t care if your teacher is ‘willfully misinterpreting’ the book, you can’t call him incompliant and storm out of class.... because you’re in high school and that’s not how that works. Just.... just come home, please.”

“So let me make sure I understand you correctly... this boy repeatedly snapped my daughter’s bra strap - to the point said strap came undone. At which point she punched him in the face. And you want to take disciplinary action against her? Very well, go right ahead. I'm going to need a copy of the referral though, because we’ll be filing sexual assault charges. Thank you. Stephanie, let’s go,”

“Principal Weatherby... I know people think I’m just some rich trust fund baby or what have you, with nothing better to do with my day, but I assure you, I am quite a busy man. So can you please explain to me why my meetings get continually interrupted with complains about Tim sleeping in class? Is he not still one of the top performers? Then I don’t see the issue. If he’s not actively causing a problem, and his grades aren’t being effected do not call me about this again. If you’ll excuse me, I have a business to run.”

“I’m sorry Principal Weatherby, what exactly would you like me to do in this situation? I can’t physically force Cassandra to speak. Also, I don’t have the paperwork in front of me... but I’m pretty sure she’s allowed to sign her presentation, and that not providing her an interpreter is actually illegal.... No, that won’t be necessary. Thank you for taking care of the matter, please let me know if there is anything else I can do to help resolve the satiation.”

“One moment, let me clarify something -  we’re talking about Duke Thomas? Punching another student in the cafeteria? Is there more context to this situation? . . . Ah, and was the boy harassing Cassandra the same one that Stephanie had the issue with last month? I see. Well, Principal Weatherby, I’ll speak with Duke this evening, but you may want to look into this other student before the school really does get hit with some kind of lawsuit over his behavior.” - “That dumb bastard doesn’t know how lucky he was Duke hit him before Cassie could.”

“Damian said what exactly?. . .  Yes, well I can see where that would be highly inappropriate. . . . I’m terribly sorry, Principal Weatherby, but I’m about to step into a very important meeting. But this is his mother’s number, I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to help you resolve the situation.” - “Best of luck. You’re gonna need it.”

[sketchingtons]

Omfg, your Bart is super duper adorable!!!! May we have more of him being a cute dork, please?

👉👈

Ask and ye shall receive~

I hope this “Tamagotchi Parent” Bart from au’s of days past satisfies 😌🙏

[spielzeugkaiser]

Hello, most important-to-me artist in the Witcher fandom!!!

Do you have any plans for more of the Bear-Witcher!Jaskier verse??

I love love LOVE your stuff so much, and it always gives me a smile 💖

Oh. what a title to have, thank you!! I don’t really have a plan, but I’m always open to suggstions! I’m still doing one or two pieces in that verse; for example @rawrkinjd send me a lovely prompt about bear!jaskier and meditation, which I’m slowly doing - it would have been finished sooner, but they decided to actually argue about it and it got longer and longer- Here’s a sneak peak:

because I think they’re quite settled in in their relationship, but your significant other trying to teach you something? Can get explosive.

[jaskierswolf]

Hello again, dear wolfie! An aro prompt for you, though you may have done something similar before; Geralt finding comfort in casual touches. Soft shoulder pats, a hug on a bad day... Jaskier maybe just being a Best Friend, and making him his favorite food and sitting with him, letting Geralt decompress from a contract where the person hit on him incessantly. Modern AU? :3

Platonic geraskier, Aro Geralt. QPR vibes, modern AU. I didn’t hit all the elements of the prompt? But I think I got most of it!

Words: 514

Warnings: None

_______

Geralt had never wanted a best friend. He’d been content all through his childhood to be alone. He had his stuffed toys, later on his cat called Roach, even later on his horse of the same name. He found people difficult and they never seemed to understand him, so he stayed with his animals and his imagination, telling stories to Roach when he was brushing her down or sneaking her treats.

He had thought he’d been happy.

He’d been surviving. He had never noticed the ache of loneliness until Jaskier had come along, declaring himself to be Geralt’s best friend in the whole wide world. Geralt had snorted derivatively at that. Adults didn’t have best friends, it was childish, but Jaskier didn’t care. He’d strolled into work at the shop on his first day and taken a shine to Geralt. Geralt hadn’t had much choice, but now if he were to choose then he would choose Jaskier.

The way his face lit up whenever he saw Geralt, it was addictive. He had a friend, a best friend, and he never wanted to lose him. It had taken Geralt a while to get used to the physical affection that Jaskier just loved to lavish upon him, little touches to his arm, hand, shoulder, cheek, and hugs that felt like they lasted for days. After almost a year of working together Jaskier had suggested they move in together, he spent half his time round Geralt’s flat anyway so it did make sense, and they would save money.

So it began, Jaskier making Geralt his favourite food at the end of a particularly bad shift, shoving his feet under Geralt’s arse when they watched a documentary together. Little touches throughout the day that showed how much Jaskier cared, without expecting anything back. He knew when Geralt didn’t want to speak, letting him know that he was there with brief touch to his back. It was nice, familiar… warm.

“Jaskier?” Geralt asked one evening when they were snuggled up on the sofa together watching a romantic comedy of Jaskier’s choosing.

“Yes, darling?”

“Have you ever been in love?”

Jaskier laughed, melodically and quite beautifully. “Yes, quite frequently. Nothing that ever lasts though.”

“Hmm.”

Jaskier prodded him with his feet. “Why do you ask?”

Geralt paused, considering the question. He never really enjoyed these movies, he felt like there was something he was missing, that he didn’t quite understand. He’d never seen someone from across the room and felt… whatever it was that they felt. “I don’t think I have, is that weird?”

Jaskier picked up the remote and stopped the film. He sat up straight and cupped Geralt’s cheek. Soft cornflower blue eyes gazing up at him with such adoration that Geralt wanted to look away. “Of course not. Not everything is like the movies. Romantic love is bullshit anyway.”

Geralt frowned, that’s not what the films seemed to say.

“I’d rather be your best friend than have that, any day. You’re important to me.”

Geralt smiled faintly, resting his forehead against Jaskier’s. “You’re important to me too.”

[justzana]

Things I’ve done on tumblr that make me really really proud

I’ve given a popular account their popular nickname (bouncey -> @bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher )

I’ve improved the mood of people with my asks ( @thecomfortofoldstorries )

@barelyherestillqueer has said “people like you are the foundation of our society. Like in a good way, like how humans should treat each other” That gave me SUCH a confidence boost, istg

My main account is @anythinggoesfandoms , if y’all wonderin’

Overall, I feel so incredibly blessed to have made people feel even a little bit better about something, be it bettering their day, cheering them up, or giving them a smile.

Thank you.

[g-a-y-b-a-c-o-n]

Ily gaybacon, just wanted to pop in and say itttttt byeeeeee

WAIT!! WAIT!! YOU FORGOT YOUR HUG!!!

[eileenwdj]

I just wanted to pop in, and say how much I love your supersons pieces!!!! They’re absolutely wonderful, and I love your art just!!! So much!!!!

Ahhhh thank you so much!!!!

[cykelops]

I love your batfam art , it’s so soft and cute!!!

ive been improving my normal art style a lot so it’s been super fun to go back to soft and cute!!

[tklpilled]

I challenge you to write a living fic of your worst NOtp

please no i’d throw myself out of the window in 0.5 seconds

[secondratefiction]

Here’s a prompt request; the Batfamily having a chill day, for once. The boys bickering good-naturedly, the gals just vibing (maybe doing hair and nails), Bruce and Alfred looking on with heart-eyes at their family

Ok, but like this never happens. Like ever.

Bruce is high-key suspicious for like the first half of the day - They’ve done something. They have to. There’s no other reason Damian and Tim are sitting on the same couch and not at least kicking one another.

Alfred is kind of concerned too, but he’s hiding it better so as not to disrupt whatever this is, if it is indeed them all just getting along of once.

But that’s exactly what it is. They’re all in the back sun room, and everyone is getting along.

Jason and Duke are playing chess on the floor, while Dick is twisting himself in various positions that only he could find comfortable on the bench seat of the bay window.

Tim and Damian are actually sharing a couch, abet each at an opposite end. Damian engrossed in his sketchbook while Tim seems to be lost in his phone, scrolling through something that makes his stop and chuckle quietly every few minutes.

Barbra’s taken up the other window seat, laying across the bench and typing away on her computer with her headphones on, clearly focused on something,

Cass is sat cross legged in one of the big, high--backed chairs, and she’s been brushing out and braiding Steph’s hair into different styles for almost an hour now. the other girl seeming content to let her.

This never happens. Like ever.

And it’s a memory Bruce wants to hold onto forever.

[knifewieldingenby]

New picrew tag!

https://picrew.me/image_maker/678422

Tagging: @kueble @officerjennie @stinastar @bastardofmothman @anythinggoesfandoms

Edit: if you weren’t tagged and want to do it, GO FOR IT ILY!!!!

[spielzeugkaiser]

Continuation of this.

(I am always ready to hurt the bard and @anythinggoesfandoms egged me on, so...here we are! Jaskier lost a lot of blood, his hands are badly bruised and he’ll probably limp for quite some time, but both of them surrived.) ... Jaskier probably would have gone for that thing with bare hands, if he had to.

[jaskierswolf]

Darling, gorgeous, incredible, beautiful Wolfie... my love of your Jaskilion works knows no bounds. The characterization of the beautiful bardic duo, and their snarky ways, is immaculate.

Might I request Jaskilion and the two Geralts having a foursome??? Because that has So Much Potential 💖

If not spicy, I will happily eat up some pseudo-domestic ~vibing~ with the four of them; just being silly and cute, the Geralts being amused, fond, and exasperated 💖

As discussed, this will be Geralt/Jaskier/book!Dandy... because I struggle to make the Geralts different. I mix them too much.

Geraskilion - 3.6k

Thanks to @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde for being my beta and making me cackle with her commentary.

CW: 18+ for shameless smut, threeseome, anal sex, blow jobs, name-calling (Dandy calls Jask a whore), hair pulling, multiple orgasms, coming untouched, voyeurism, exhibitionism, finger sucking, almost choking but more of a tease of it than actual?.... I think that’s it?

Jaskier stared at the man in front of him. Cornflower blue eyes blinked back at him like he was looking in a mirror. It was his eyes that were most startling. Jaskier had never met anyone with eyes quite like his before and now this man not only had similar eyes, but fucking identical. Facially they were similar too, although this… this imposter, had cheek bones that would look more at home on the elves. His whole face wasn’t too dissimilar to that of an elves now Jaskier came to think of it, and the long limbed fellow could easily be mistaken as one of Filavandrel’s brethren. His hair fell down to his shoulders in soft golden curls, like something out of a fairytale. On top of his head he had a wine coloured hat with an egret’s feather poking out from one side.

The man, Dandelion, put his hands on his hips, mirroring Jaskier’s own stance. He let out a peel of laughter, like a symphony of chiming bells, perfectly in tune and expertly rung. “Well, well, well. Isn’t this fun?”

Jaskier narrowed his eyes at the poet. “Hmm.”

Geralt grunted as he stood up from his corner. “Who are you really? You’re not human, my medallion-”

“Oh come now, Geralt. I’ve just apparently jumped into a whole new world! I can’t even begin to fathom the magic needed to make such a jump, not even that sorceress of yours could do it. In fact, I think I’ve only ever heard of Ciri successfully managing…” Dandelion trailed off and his tongue flicked out to lick his lips. “How old are you?” he asked Jaskier haughtily, peering down at him with piercing blue eyes.

“What the bloody hell has that got to do with anything?” Jaskier scoffed.

“Do you know Cirilla?”

Jaskier quirked an eyebrow and glanced at Geralt who just shook his head. “No,” he admitted.

“I didn’t think so,” Dandelion muttered, clicking his tongue. “My point is, my dear witcher, that I’m probably covered head to toe in residue magic. There’s no wonder you medallion is vibrating. Maybe your world’s magic can sense that I don’t really belong here. Fascinating, utterly fascinating!”

“You really think you’re me?” Jaskier asked, still not trusting this arguably very attractive stranger.

“But of course!”

Jaskier grinned as an idea came to mind. “Prove it,” he said, chin raised in a clear challenge.

Dandelion smirked and Jaskier recognised the glint in his eyes. “Oh, and how would you propose I do that, little buttercup?”

“You’re me?”

Dandelion nodded.

“Then you know exactly how I like to be kissed.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt groaned but Dandelion shushed him with a wave of his hand, long elegant fingers dancing in the air.

“No no, he’s got a point, my dear,” Dandelion giggled.

“It’s a bad idea,” Geralt tried again but both bards shot daggers in his direction. The witcher sighed heavily and pressed his fingers to his forehead.

“All the best ideas are very bad ideas,” Jaskier agreed. His heartbeat was starting to pick up, the thrill of seduction and the promise of a willing bedmate for the evening starting to send tendrils of lust through his body.

And come on, who else got the opportunity to fuck themselves. It would be a tragic waste if he let the opportunity pass him by, and curiosity was truly his greatest folly. He really did want to know if this man shared his own weaknesses when it came to carnal delights.

Dandelion stepped forward, his breath tickling against Jaskier’s cheeks, and the scent of wine and lavender oil washed over him. He wondered if he would be able to taste the wine on Dandelion’s lips. Dandelion’s fingers brushed against his wrist, a featherlight touch that danced across his skin, like leaves on the wind. Dandelion’s tongue swiped along his lips, making them look wet and so very kissable. Jaskier swallowed, he felt as if the rest of the inn had melted away. All he could see was Dandelion, all he could smell was Dandelion.

“You really are stunning, my darling,” Dandelion breathed, a whisper, an almost silent prayer.

Jaskier’s own breath caught in his throat. The fucker was even more charming than he was, he hadn’t been expecting that. He tried to stammer some witty response but he wasn’t even sure whether he even managed a single sensical word. Dandelion’s long finger trailed under his chin, his thumb brushing Jaskier’s bottom lip.

Fuck.

“Can I kiss you?” Dandelion asked, the tension now so thick between them that Jaskier honestly thought he might melt under the heat of it. He wasn’t used to being seduced like this. No one had ever needed to charm him this hard to woo him to their beds.

He nodded, not trusting his voice, and Dandelion’s lips were finally on his. The kiss was chaste, a tease of what was to come, leaving Jaskier weak and wanting. He chased Dandelion’s lips as he pulled away, eyes fluttering open.

Oh cock.

He swallowed, mouth dry as his heart thundered in his chest. He let out a low whine and Dandelion laughed before cupping the nape of his neck and pulling him into a second kiss. This time there were no hesitations. Jaskier eagerly explored Dandelion’s mouth, the rich taste of wine dancing over his tongue. Dandelion’s hat fell to the floor as Jaskier’s hand threaded into the soft golden curls, he tugged experimentally at Dandelion’s hair, and wasn’t surprised by the guttural moan the poet let out.

“Oh fuck,” he whined in between kisses.

“Upstairs, now,” was all the warning they had before they were torn apart and Dandelion was thrown over Geralt’s shoulder.

Jaskier’s eyes widened as Geralt stormed off up the stairs without evening looking back at Jaskier. “Oi!” he called after them, tripping over his feet as he stumbled after them. “Geralt! Darling I wasn’t finished!”

Jaskier fell into their room in his eagerness. Dandelion was lying pouting on the bed, and Geralt had settled into an armchair in the corner on the room. Jaskier felt a rush of arousal as he recognised the set up.

Geralt was going to watch.

He met Geralt’s eyes across the room and quirked an eyebrow in a silent question. Geralt nodded, his hand already palming himself through his trousers. Jaskier half wanted to fall to his knees in front of his witcher and get his mouth on that monstrous cock.

But then Dandelion was right there on the bed, already looking debauched. A temptation that Jaskier just couldn’t resist. In the time it had taken Jaskier to follow them upstairs Dandelion had unbuttoned his doublet, revealing an expensive lacy chemise underneath. He looked like a fallen angel.

“I trust you don’t mind the company?” Jaskier asked with a tilt of his head.

Dandelion scoffed. “It’s as if you don’t know me at all. Get over here and kiss me, you tease!”

Jaskier didn’t need to be asked twice. Pulling off his doublet as he went, he crawled over to where Dandelion was sprawled out on the bed. He ran his hands up the inside of his chemise before pulling him into a kiss, a mess of breathy moans as their tongues danced. Jaskier managed to elicit the most gorgeous songs from Dandelion’s lips, fingers pinching at his nipples. They may be strangers but Jaskier knew Dandelion’s body better than he knew his lute. He knew exactly which strings to pluck to draw out the most sinful melodies. Dandelion was a writhing mess underneath him before he even managed to undress him, kissing at his neck and biting bruises into the soft pale skin.

“Jaskier,” Geralt growled from the corner.

Jaskier stopped his attack on Dandelion’s elegant neck and glanced up at his witcher. Geralt’s eyes were dark with hunger, his cock now red and glistening his hand, and Jaskier moaned at the sight. What else was a bard supposed to do when he was just so weak?

“Yes, darling?” he asked, his voice low and sultry.

“Let him up,” Geralt said, already sounding as wrecked as Jaskier felt.

Jaskier pouted.

“He’s supposed to be proving how well he knows you, not the other way round,” Geralt explained softly.

Jaskier grumbled, biting Dandelion’s neck one last time before letting the poet up. Dandelion grinned as Jaskier rolled off him, and quickly straddled Jaskier’s waist, pushing him back onto the bed.

“You like being in charge just as much as you like being manhandled, don’t you, sweetheart?” Dandelion cooed, his fingers brushing along Jaskier’s cheek. Every touch sent shivers down his spine. He could feel the electricity between them, a hot wave of arousal with every moment of contact.

“Lucky guess,” Jaskier winked, moaning as Dandelion wrapped his hands around his throat. It wasn’t enough to choke him but the knowledge that Dandelion held him such a vulnerable position thrilled him, adrenaline mixing with the heady sensation of lust.

“Not a guess.”

Dandelion’s fingers gripped tighter at his throat as he rolled his hips forward. He could feel the poet’s erection through both their trousers, it was so close and yet not nearly enough.

“Dandelion,” he whined, “stop teasing, darling, please.”

“Patience, love.”

Dandelion’s lips captured his, a messy kiss as their bodies moved together, humping like fucking teenagers. Dandelion kissed like a dream, yet looked like the very definition of sin. He was tantalising, a temptation from Lillit herself.

And he was wearing far too many clothes!

“Off!” Jaskier snapped, tugging at Dandelion’s doublet.

“So demanding,” Dandelion sighed dramatically, but he pulled off his doublet and threw it at the armchair. Jaskier watched as Geralt caught it in mid-air, one hand still lazily stroking his cock.

Jaskier whimpered and pulled at the hem of Dandelion’s chemise until the poet yanked it over his head. Jaskier’s own shirt swiftly followed, landing on the floor in a heap. After that it was an awkward dance of removing their trousers and small clothes whilst desperately trying to keep their lips on each other, and, not a moment too soon, they were finally naked. Jaskier’s could barely resist rolling them back over and taking Dandelion’s cock in his mouth but Geralt preempted his move and let out a low growl. Jaskier tossed his friend a frustrated look.

“Geralt,” he moaned.

Dandelion just laughed, running his fingers along Jaskier’s lips, gently pressing them into his mouth. Jaskier whimpered, sucking at the long digits, swirling his tongue around the tips. It wasn’t as satisfying as having a cock in his mouth but it was enough for now.

“Good,” Geralt hummed, the praise making Jaskier’s cock twitch even though it wasn’t meant for him.

Dandelion preened, looking like a cat that had gotten the cream. His soft blond curls were a mess, and his face was flushed but it was his eyes. Gods, his eyes were almost black, only a thin blue ring visible. Jaskier moaned around the blond’s fingers, taking them further into his mouth.

“Gods, look at you, pretty little whore,” Dandelion cooed and Jaskier felt a rush of heat prickle over his skin. His cock was aching, desperate for touch, but Dandelion acted as if it didn’t exist, happy to just watch Jaskier suckle on his fingers.

It was driving Jaskier mad with lust.

The bastard really did know exactly how to destroy him, with the least amount of effort.

Jaskier whined, bucking his hips off the mattress in what he hoped what a clear sign of what he wanted, nay, needed. Dandelion pulled his fingers from Jaskier’s mouth, and immediately he felt empty, a pathetic whimper escaping his lips.

“Geralt, darling, do you have oil?” he heard Dandelion ask through the heady feeling that was making everything a little foggy.

Jaskier pouted as Dandelion shuffled on the bed, reaching towards the witcher sat in the corner of the room. He licked his lips as he watched the small vial of oil pass hands. He wriggled on the bed, his hands reaching down to touch his cock but Dandelion was back and swatting away his hand before he had a chance.

“Not yet, sweetheart, if your good I’ll touch you later, can you be good for me?” Dandelion asked in the sweetest voice, like honey trickling over his skin.

He nodded, tongue feeling too heavy in his mouth.

“Am I doing well, witcher?”

“Hmm,” Geralt’s reply was a low growl more than anything else and the sound went straight to Jaskier’s already leaking cock.

“Lion… please…” Jaskier whined.

Fuck, he sounded wrecked already. It normally took more to make him lose control like this. He looked over to Geralt, and the sight was nearly enough to make him cum. The witcher looked obscene, lips wet and red from where he’d been biting on them, fulling clothed except from where he’d unlaced his trousers, cock proudly on display. Jaskier wanted him, gods… but to have Geralt’s attention like this, trapped under his dark and wanton gaze.

Fuck!

He didn’t even hear the pop of the cork, too distracted as he watched Geralt lazily stroke his erection, precum already leaking from the tip. Jaskier licked his lips in reflex as if the action would allow him to taste…

He hissed as Dandelion’s finger teased his rim, arching his back, a familiar pull in the pit of his stomach. “Fuck!” he gasped as cum coated his belly, embarrassingly early but Geralt’s growl and Dandelion’s chiming laughter put him at ease.

“Oh darling,” Dandelion trilled, a finger trailing through the mess on his stomach, and then moaning as he took the digit into his mouth.

Jaskier groaned, if he hadn’t already cum then he would have done then. Judging by the wink Dandelion gave him, the whore knew exactly what he was doing, bastard. “What do you think, Geralt, shall we continue our little game?”

Jaskier glanced over to Geralt, a pleading look in his eyes. Yes, Dandelion had proved himself. Yes, Jaskier had already cum. No, he wasn’t satisfied. There was still an emptiness that left him feeling weak and wanting. He needed to feel full, needed a cock up his arse, in his mouth… just somewhere.

Geralt nodded. “We’re not finished yet, poet.”

“As you wish, witcher.”

The finger that had been gently teasing Jaskier’s hole pushed in. Jaskier gasped, still feeling sensitive from his orgasm, but Dandelion was more in sync with his body than any other lover, even Geralt. The blond took it slow, gently working his finger into Jaskier until his cock began to harden once more. He was panting by the time a second finger pushed inside, just as he was about to beg for more. Good gods, Jaskier was going to ruined for anyone else.

“Stop,” Geralt’s voice rumbled from the corner.

Jaskier huffed and managed to prop himself up so he could glare at his witcher. “Oh for fuck’s sake,” he groaned as Dandelion pulled out all his fingers. “There’d better be a bloody good reason for the interruption, Geralt!”

Geralt smirked and got up from his chair. “Mind if I join?” he asked, looking more at Dandelion than Jaskier.

The poet visibly brightened, his tongue flicking out to lick his lips. “Oh ho ho! Geralt, my dear, please be my guest. The more the merrier!”

Oh gods, Jaskier was doomed, completely done for.

Dandelion whispered something in Geralt’s ear, a flushed smile on his lips. Geralt’s eyes flashed dangerously to Jaskier and he nodded once before pulling off his clothes until he was deliciously naked, and Jaskier wanted to lick the lines of his muscles, kissing every scar until the memory of the battle had been replaced with Jaskier.

But Geralt had other plans. Dandelion pulled at Jaskier’s ankles until they were wrapped around the poet’s waist, and Geralt straddled Jaskier’s torso. Jaskier swallowed as he was left to stare at Geralt’s rather lovely cock, so tantalisingly close to his lips. His eyes flicked up so he could meet Geralt’s gaze as he licked his lips.

“Geralt?”

“Yes,” Geralt growled Jaskier whimpered as he lunged forward greedily. He wrapped his hands around the base of Geralt’s cock, whist he could take Geralt down his throat, he preferred not to. He was a bard after all. He really needed to take care of his voice, and deep-throating a witcher’s cock was not advised.

Although his professors at Oxenfurt had also never specifically told him not to.

That was one thing he’d learnt from experience. So instead he licked at just the tip, lapping about the precum that was already there. He hummed happily as he sucked around the head, working the base in his hands, the skin already slick from oil where Geralt had been stroking himself. It smelt like the chamomile oil Jaskier preferred to use for massages, he idly wondered whether it was the same one Dandelion had used whilst stretching his hole.

As if reading his thoughts, Dandelion pushed his fingers back inside Jaskier’s arse. He moaned around Geralt’s cock, taking the witcher deeper into his mouth. The weight was heavy on his tongue and with Dandelion’s fingers probing his hole… the aching emptiness was finally gone. He whined as Geralt’s fingers threaded into his hair, scraping at his scalp.

He closed his eyes, sucking and moaning around the cock in his mouth in time to Dandelion’s fingers fucking his arse, but it quickly began to leave him feeling dissatisfied again. He wanted more, so much more… always more.

“Hnnng,” he choked out around Geralt’s cock as the witcher held him in place, fucking into his mouth with shallow thrusts.

“Good,” Geralt half growled, “so good for us…”

“Hmm…” Jaskier whined.

“I think he’s ready for my cock now,” Dandelion hummed thoughtfully, pushing his fingers deeper into Jaskier’s arse, right against his prostrate.

Jaskier thrust up, moaning as much as he could around Geralt’s cock, trapped under the weight of his witcher. His fingers dug into the meat of Geralt’s arse. He couldn’t even beg for more, but he tightened the grip of his thighs, hoping Dandelion wouldn’t get the message. With a choked gasp, Geralt pulled him off his cock. Jaskier whined at the sudden emptiness of his mouth, pouting up at Geralt with wide eyes.

He was almost surprised by the fondness in Geralt’s gaze as a calloused thumb stroked his cheek. “Still good?”

Jaskier nodded and went to mouth at Geralt’s cock but he was pulled back again, a sharp tug at his hair.

“Words, Jask.”

“Yes, now let me suck your cock, witcher,” he grumbled, a happy sigh escaping his lips as he was finally allowed to take Geralt back into his mouth.

“Needy little brat, isn’t he?” Dandelion giggled.

“Takes one to know one,” Geralt replied, his breathing starting to hitch between words… fucking finally.

The bastard had far too much stamina. Although, Jaskier did love to take his time in worshipping Geralt, so he really shouldn’t complain. He hummed, flicking his tongue around the tip of Geralt’s cock, his fingers teasing Geralt’s rim. He almost regretted not slicking up one of his hands so he could properly tease his witcher, but instead he kept one hand on his cock, twisting his wrist as he bobbed his head.

He whined, head falling back against the pillow, as Dandelion pushed into him. It was tortuously slow. He could feel every inch of the bard’s cock as it filled him. Geralt’s hand cupped his cheek, thumb brushing along his lips. Jaskier whimpered as he sucked on the digit. It was a poor substitution for the witcher’s cock but he needed to adjust to the feel of Dandelion. Gods, it felt heavenly.

He had truly been blessed on this day.

“Fuck, Gods, Geralt….” he babbled, words muffled around the thumb that was still pressed between his lips.

“Thank Dandelion,” Geralt hummed, a quiet but firm instruction that made Jaskier feel all dazed.

Jaskier barely managed to gasp out his thanks to the poet. Dandelion had begun thrusting into him, finding his prostrate with ease, because, well.. of course he did.

Fucking yourself really did have its perks.

“Ger…” Jaskier panted but he didn’t have to finish his pleas because Geralt’s cock was already back in his mouth. Jaskier moaned loudly. He couldn’t even reach round the witcher to touch his own cock. He wasn’t sure if he could cum again untouched, every nerve ending felt like it was on fire, and his cock was aching. He needed more, he needed to cum, he needed…

Fuck!

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Dandelion grunted as he finally wrapped his long fingers around Jaskier’s cock, every thrust still blinding him with pleasure.

Jaskier came almost instantly, clenching around Dandelion cock and choking around Geralt’s. He collapsed back onto the bed, tears streaming down his cheek, feeling utterly fucked out. He might have blacked out for a few seconds, he wasn’t sure, but the next thing he knew, Geralt’s cum was splattered over his chest, mixing with his own, and Dandelion keened as he fell forward, pressing his forehead against Geralt’s back.

There was silence in the room except for their heaving breathing and the sound of his own pulse ringing in his ears. After what could have been minutes or hours, he started to feel uncomfortable, even with Geralt and Dandelion pressed into either side of him.

“I am not cleaning this up,” he grumbled.

“Well I did all the work!” Dandelion whined, in a similar tone.

They both turned to Geralt, with matching cornflower blue eyes wide and pleading.

Geralt sighed heavily and rolled off the bed. Jaskier laughed and pulled Dandelion into a kiss whilst they waited for their witcher to return.

[kuinshi]

My @geraskierholidayexchange for @anythinggoesfandoms who asked for some confessions and cuddles in Kaer Morhen! I hope I did okay ;;;

[wherethewordsare]

Traditions of the Heart

He knew in an instant that he had fucked up. All he had meant to do was steal one of Geralt’s jumpers from the back of his closet to curl up in while he waited for him to get home. But now he was sitting at the bottom of the closet, his hand over his mouth and a tiny black box in his hand. His blood was pounding in his ears. 

“Well, you might as well open it.” Geralt was leaning against the door frame, smiling shyly. 

“Oh, Geralt, no! I ruined it! I just... I was cold and I grabbed your hoodie and then-” 

Geralt held up a hand to cut him off, chuckling as he slid down on the floor next to him, taking the box gently. “I’ve had it for a while, honestly you’ve done me a favor.” 

“Darling,” Jaskier gave a wet laugh, wiping at his face. “That’s not how proposals usually work.” 

“Oh, if you wanted to wait then,” Geralt was slowly moving to tuck the box away again. 

“Geralt Rivia!” Jaskier clung to his arm, beaming through tears. 

Geralt leaned into him, bringing the box up as he rested his arms against his knees. He snapped the box open for Jaskier to see. “I know it’s not much, but it’s kind of a tradition in my family, going back a long time.”

The ring was a simple gold Claddagh though Jaskier was able to make out an inscription inside the band. It simply read ‘Lark’ in delicately curved letters. 

“Oh, it’s perfect, Geralt I... I don’t know what to say!” he started to reach for the ring but Geralt pulled it back a little, smiling. 

“I think, traditionally at least, you’re supposed to say ‘yes’“. There was a tightness to his voice that Jaskier quickly leaned in to kiss away as he whispered over and over, his hands coming up to cup Geralt’s face. 

“Yes, yes, always yes.” 

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Tag list as it stands now <3: @jaskierswolf @geraskier-trashh @electricrituals @elliestormfound @artistsfuneral @thetinymm @fontegagrilledcheese @anythinggoesfandoms 

[artistsfuneral]

Summer Romance

for @anythinggoesfandoms

Lambert/Jaskier, fade to black smut, no actual smut but they’re horny, lambert likes the sexy professor look and jaskier has a thing for freckles, summer romance, 1.6k, ao3 link in the comments

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Naturally, it was only a matter of time until one of the wolves would seek out the rather infamous bard. Geralt never had been one to kiss and tell, neither was he known to share his path with anyone for longer than a few weeks, and yet... Over the years Geralt had fed them with more than enough stories of one 'Jaskier the bard' to make them awfully curious.

Deliberately Lambert and his brothers had started to ask the most causal sounding questions about Jaskier, trying to get as much information out of the white wolf as possible. Geralt – not as oblivious as they thought – indulged them for his own amusement and warned his friend come spring. (Jaskier was delighted about the attention)

Thus far none of the wolves had discovered the final puzzle piece. That was, though, until Lambert had discovered Jaskier's real name and with that his profession as Professor Julian Pankratz in Oxenfurt. The youngest witcher knew, that it would be only polite to tell his older brothers straight away about the new information. Sending a bird would only cost him a few coins, coins which he had plenty after his latest contract. But Lambert was neither polite, nor willing to share his information so soon and as luck would have it (what a coincidence) he was already in Oxenfurt.

With a satisfied smile on his lips he silently slipped through an open window, right into one of Jaskier's lectures and made himself comfortable in a dark corner of the room. At least, that was the plan. In reality it took him only a few minutes and suddenly Lambert was hanging on Jaskier's lips like every other student in the room.

There was just something... absolutely enticing about the man.

While all three of them knew from Geralt, that Jaskier had brown hair and blue eyes, none of them really knew what he looked like in person. So Lambert could all but stare at the man at the other end of the room. Surely he must have been as tall as Geralt, which meant he was taller than Vesemir and Lambert (and what a thought that was), but he was no way as lanky as the witcher had imagines him to be. Jaskier's shoulders were wide and strong, the human held himself upright in a way that clearly showed his confidence and inner strength. He paced around the room with wide steps, hands wildly gesturing, their pace always fitting the part of the story he was telling his students. Such a simple thing, he probably didn't even notice he was doing it and yet it spoke loudly for Jaskier's musical talent.

And then there was the man's face of course. What a face that was, Lambert mused, allowing himself a moment to appreciate it and the feel of attraction it caused. To the trained eye it was obvious, that Jaskier was of good breeding. He had those high cheekbones, a straight noseline and what Lambert liked to call 'noble eyebrows'. The thick brown hair on top of his head and around his jawline showed the tiniest hints of gray and white and although Jaskier lacked wrinkles on his forehead, he already had crows feet in the corners of his mesmerizing-blue eyes.

And the story he was telling his students; absolutely fantastic. It was evident that Jaskier had a talent of commanding a room solely with his voice. Lambert was actually sad that he hadn't heard the beginning of the story, but what he had understood so far was, that Jaskier was talking about a sort of dress code during a court he had attended.

“Now mind you, Valdo Marx was still in the believe that he was invited to Lady Cassandra's orgy later that evening, so he wore a special kind of doublet. One that – quite cleverly – could be taken off by pulling on one single string.” Jaskier paused for a moment, as did his gesturing, while he looked at a few of his students. “That's where his earlier comments start getting important. I'm sure you can all imagine my intentions after this discovery, especially since he had called me out in front of the whole court. But-,” he stopped himself with a small smile and looked at the turned sand clock on his table, “I'm afraid our time is up.”

A wave of protesting whines and annoyed groans came from his students, making Jaskier laugh. “Professor!” A girl in the front row spoke up. “Did you or did you not pull at the thread?” The man send her a secretive smile and leaned against his wooden lectern. As if being told confidential information, the whole class (including Lambert, although he would deny it) leaned closer to their teacher. A pleased grin spread across Jaskier's face.

“Now I don't want to scandalize anyone, but lets say it like this: I was absolutely delighted to find out that Valdo Marx, during his oh so important summer at court, had gotten pretty fat around his middle.”

The room burst out laughing for a good minute, before the students collected their belongings and one after another left the class, saying their goodbyes to Jaskier. Lambert leaned back into the shadows and waited until Jaskier turned his back towards him, before standing up.

To his utter astonishment, it was Jaskier who spoke first. “Be a darling and help me carry those books back to my office, Lambert.” The witcher let out a quiet 'huh' and started to stack the books in his arms, Jaskier had pointed at. “How did you know it was me?” Jaskier huffed out a laugh, still not having looked at Lambert, and answered honestly, “I didn't. But from what Geralt told me about the lot of you, which is to say quite little information, Eskel and Vesemir would have been polite enough not to visit me in the middle of a lecture.”

That was surprisingly correct, Lambert realized. Vesemir probably would have waited until the lecture was over

or come back later in the evening, while Eskel would have been there in the beginning of the class, wanting to listen to it whole. He could have commented on it, but instead Lambert decided to ask the more important question. “Did you really cause that Marx guy to stand in court naked?”

“Of course I did! He's my arch-nemesis.”

“Nemesis? You're a bard.”

At that, Jaskier let out an offended noise and turned around promptly, “Now, listen you-”

He stopped, his impossible blue eyes going wide and his mouth gaped open. Lambert raised an eyebrow, “Something on my face, bard?” Jaskier blinked a few times, his face blushing from- embarrassment? “Um- No just- Geralt never told me you had freckles.”

“Why would Geralt-” Oh. Oh! Not embarrassment then. A cocky grin spread across Lambert's face, as he wriggled his eyebrows in suggestion. “Say, bard, you have any plans for tonight?” Jaskier seemingly needed another moment to collect himself, stared at Lambert as long as it took to get his head out of the gutter. The witcher could hear his pulse pick up speed, could see Jaskier's pupils dilate and the blush on his cheekbones darken. A reaction like that, simply because Lambert was there, because he existed in the same room as the bard; Lambert's chest filled with pride.

“Usually I would tell you to buy me dinner first, but I really can't cope right now,” Jaskier confessed slowly.

“How cute,” Lambert grinned, “you will make me blush, if you don't stop.”

Now it was Jaskier's turn to chuckle, “I now for a fact that witcher's don't blush that easily. But then again, I'm known for my talented mouth, am I not?” An open invitation, missing any ridiculous maskings. The bard clearly knew what he wanted and was used to getting it too. Balancing the stack of books easily in one arm, Lambert used his free hand to pull Jaskier down, so their faces were on the same level. “Prove yourself then,” he growled and promptly let go of Jaskier again, taking a step back and tilting his head to the side. “Your office?”

Needless to say, Lambert was more than happy about his decision to keep Jaskier's other name to himself for a while. During the hottest time of summer he stayed close to Oxenfurt and the Academy, spending his mid-days in the shade of the city, going skinny dipping with Jaskier and his friends and the colder nights he warmed the professor's bed. Spending time with Jaskier was a bliss. The man was not only pretty and smart, he was also loudmouthed bastard, a cheeky shit, an amazing lover and a great listener. Lambert was terrifyingly enthralled by him and the way Jaskier looked at him – with that stupid grin on his lips and those beautiful eyes – made Lambert hope it wasn't one-sided. (It wasn't he would find out later)

Only days before the summer term ended and Jaskier was to be picked up by Geralt, Lambert moved on. He left with a promise to  meet the bard again soon, a content smile on his face and a slowly fading hickey on his neck. The following winter he told his brothers about the discovery of Jaskier's name and profession, though, he left out any further commentary on what he did during his summer on the path. It would be way more fun this way.

Geralt, finally having had enough about their endless questions, promised to bring Jaskier with him the following year. Lambert could wait that long.

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Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it, although it turned out more sappy than planned, Ana :D