#anyway I’m glad I don’t live in the us atm and I really don’t want to long term

[minnov]

.

[softxsuki]

Hello, I’m.. new to this. But reading your works have comforted me … I know you have a lot on your plate, and I hope all is going well for you!! If you,,have the chance,, I’ve kind of.. not been doing well. At all. Haha,, I’ve been extremely suicidal.. for at least the past year. Everything has since fell apart. I’m not sure if this counts, but..it feels urgent, to me..?

My grandmother died, I lost my job due to my health declining so rapidly I physically could not manage. I’ve since applied to so many jobs.. absolutely no luck and.. I even lost my home. Im living with someone else’s parents, and I’m a child scared to leave their room all over again. I can’t eat unless food is in front of me, none of my friends are… good, at comforting, to say the least… I have well over 1K due for medical bills, and no one will even take me for an interview, so I can’t even pay off little by little. Lol..I pretty much moved out at 17 and have been surviving by myself for 6 years now.

Im so tired of surviving.

If.. if you don’t mind.. honestly I don’t even know what kind of scenario this would count as…. Baji has been my biggest comfort character as of late, and I.. well, would you mind,, possibly writing a scenario.. of reader who’s spiraled so far into these thoughts, and in the midst of a panic attack, attempts to.. stop surviving, if you catch my drift..

I know this is very personal, and I’m sorry to dump on you.. if you’re unable, all is well! Thank u for taking time to read my pity story haha.. <3

Baji Helps Suicidal Reader

****Please proceed with caution if mentions of suicide will be more harmful to you than beneficial.*****

Pairing: Baji x Gn!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of hopelessness, suicide attempt, crying, not being able to find a job, losing your home

Genre: Hurt Comfort

Post-Type: Oneshot

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: In which Baji shows up as soon as you attempt to take your own life.

[A/N: Hi darling, I'm so glad you found my blog and for feeling comfortable enough to bring your urgent request to me! I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling. Though I've felt similarly about the the whole job thing. Places these days won't even give people a chance to show what they could do. I graduated from College and couldn't find work immediately. I'm still struggling to find a job in my field even now. I have a job at a bookstore atm, but it took a long time for me to get it. I think when they timing is right though, things will work out for us. We really just need to wait for things to happen and keep working for them! But you're also going through a lot of other situations as well, so my words probably aren't that helpful, so I'll leave that to Baji. I'm here if you ever need anyone to talk to though. I've been through moments of hopelessness and feeling like leaving this world was my only option, but I'm proof that things will change. There will always be times when we fall, but we can always get back up again! Anyway, I'll shut up now and let you read. I hope it provides you with even just a tiny bit of comfort <3 i love you, hopefully we can talk again soon, you sound very sweet!

Side note: I wasn’t sure if you wanted something platonic or if you wanted to be Baji’s s/o so I left that kinda ambiguous. You could read it either way!

Baji impatiently taps his foot, sitting on his bike outside your place. Where were you?

You had texted him earlier asking him to pick you up since the people you were living with weren’t home and you just needed to get out for a while. He came rushing over as soon as he had a chance and texted you upon arriving, but you weren’t answering his texts–you weren’t even reading them. 

He knew all about your situation in life and had tried his best to be by your side and show you the support that you deserved to have. He wasn’t perfect though, at times it was hard for Baji to truly put himself in your shoes and understand what you were going through.

Now though, he was worried. Why had you texted so desperately that you needed to get out of the house? Why weren’t you answering his texts now?

He turns his engine off and hops off the bike, walking briskly to your front door.

“Y/N! I’m here,” He bangs on the door, hoping you were just distracted and forgot to check your phone to see his texts.

But he’s met with silence. 

“Y/N!” He tries again, panic settling in the pit of his stomach and he bangs harder on the door–something wasn’t right.

He brings his ear to the door hoping to hear any sign of life and that’s when he hears it, the running of water and sobs from the other side. Gathering whatever adrenaline had been building up in him, he rams into the door, which luckily flies open from the impact. The sound of your sobs grows louder the closer he gets to you. You were in the bathroom.

The door is only a crack open, but he races toward the noise, slamming the door fully open and takes in your state; puffy eyes as tears run from them not that he could distinguish your tears from the hot water that was pouring on you from the shower-head. You were sitting in the tub, soaking wet with a bottle of pills in your hands.

Your breathing was erratic as you struggled to open the bottle, but Baji is quick to act. He’s in the shower with you in a second, the burning water scalding his body even through his jacket, but he doesn’t care since it’s now not hitting you anymore. He snatches the pills from your hands, throwing them out the bathroom door and into the hallway where you can’t see them. In your state of panic, you start to flail around, seeing that bottle as your only escape from the mental pain you were experiencing. He finally turns the water off and hoists you up, your attempts to push him away and hit him futile. His adrenaline is still high as he lifts you from the tub with ease and onto the bathroom floor where he plops down next to you, out of breath.

You can’t seem to calm your breathing down as you clutch your chest, searching all around you with wild eyes, looking for a way out. Anything to end your suffering–anything. But then you feel strong arms wrap around you in a hug. You beat down on his back, trying your best to shake him off you. Let go of me, you think to yourself. Maybe you meant it in a different way, Let me go. Let me be free from this pain. But deep down, you wanted him to continue to hold you in place.

“Y/N please-” His voice cracks, making you go still in his arms. What were you doing?

“Please, I’m here. You’re not alone, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere,” he cries, “So don’t leave me.”

The man who had nerves of steel was breaking right in front of you.

He held you tight, as if he was scared you’d just vanish between his fingers. 

What feels like hours passes by with you both still soaking wet on the floor, clinging to each other, but you slowly manage to calm your breathing and sobs thanks to Baji’s help. 

He had been silent the whole time, focusing on just making sure you wouldn’t try anything else while he was around.

“I’m sorry…” you finally say, resting your head on his shoulder, “I’m sorry you had to see me like this.”

He finally loosens his grip on you, but continues to hold you close, caressing your still damp hair, “Why?”

That was a great question. One you couldn’t answer in only a few minutes. Baji knew the basics of what you’d been through, but he didn’t know the turmoil of what you were going through internally–only externally.

“I’m just…tired. Tired of surviving, tired of suffering. I’m barely scraping by. Is this what life’s supposed to be like? I look around at all the happy faces. Everyone seems to be living the ideal life and I’m just here, so why should I bother to exist if I don’t matter.”

He takes in your words, thinking them over, probably repeating them over and over in his head.

“You matter,” he decides to say, “You matter so much. Even if you only matter to one person, isn’t that enough to keep trying? One person can eventually grow into two, and three, and so on.”

“Baji…you don’t know what it’s like. I’ve already tried for so long. It’s been six long years. I’ve tried to see the good in my situation for six years, and yet I only keep getting pushed farther and farther past my limit. I can’t find a job, and because I can’t find a job, I can’t pay off my debt. I’m living in a house that isn’t mine with people who aren’t my family. I’m alone,” you cry out.

By now you had freed yourself from Baji’s arms, but he reaches over and grabs your hand, squeezing it reassuringly, scared that you’d run away from him.

“But if you leave now how do you know that tomorrow won’t be the day that things change?” He asks you, “Look, I know I can’t ever fully understand what goes on through your mind or what you’ve been through up till this point, but you can’t know what your life will be like a few months from now–hell, not even a few days from now. Everything can change in a second, you just need to be around to experience it.”

He brings your hands to his lips, peppering tiny kisses to your knuckles.

“I love you, a lot Y/N. Too much to just let you leave like this. Let’s try focusing on today. Each day has its own troubles, so why should we think about the future and worry ourselves even more for problems we haven’t reached yet? We’ll cross those valleys when we get to them. Right now, I just want you to focus on yourself, getting back on your feet and in a better state of mind,” he tries to console you.

His words definitely reached you. Truth be told, you knew things could maybe change, but it was hard to move forward with such uncertainty. Why couldn’t you know what would happen with your life five years from now? 

“But what if things don’t change. I don’t want to live like this forever. I don’t want to suffer anymore,” you confess, hot tears running down your face.

Baji turns to face you, gently wiping your tears away.

“But what if they do? Don’t you want to stick around to find that out for yourself?” He asks.

You stop and think it over for a moment; a life where things finally turned around–you finally getting called in for an interview and getting a job, receiving an income and finally getting to pay your debts off. Having your own place where you felt comfortable and maybe starting a family of your own…yeah, that did sound nice. As impossible as that future sounded, it was something you craved.

“I guess I do,” you sigh, “Though I wish it could happen now.”

“I know. I wish it could happen now for you as well. I hate to see you suffer so much, but you’re not alone in this. I have your back. So let’s keep fighting okay? Together, let’s see it through till the end when things finally turn around for you.”

“Baji, you know I can’t just feel better overnight. I think I’ll be okay for today, but who’s to tell when I’ll spiral like this again.”

“Then I’ll be here to get you through it again.”

A wave of gratitude flew through you. You don’t know why Baji arrived on time when you were fully ready to leave this world a few minutes ago, but now you were thankful that he had stopped you. You didn’t want to hurt him or leave him alone, but you found a little ball of hope appearing in your heart. Though tiny, it was still present and you hoped it would continue to grow and become reality one day.

“I’ll try.”

“Good. Then shall we go? You said you wanted out of here for the day, right?” He goes right back to treating you like he usually would–something you were grateful for. You didn’t want him to walk on eggshells around you after witnessing you at your lowest moment.

“But we’re still wet,” you point-out, looking at his clothes that were still clinging to his body.

“The wind will dry us,” he heaves himself off the floor and holds a hand out to you, “Let’s go.”

You give him your hand as he helps you off the floor. What did you have to lose? At this point you didn’t care, you just needed to get your mind off everything.

Baji leads you out of the house, grabbing the bottle of pills on his way out and throwing them in his jacket pocket, making a mental note to discard them later. You walk past the open door with a lock that was now busted off the wall. You’d have to explain that to the people you lived with, but you’d face that problem when you got to it–just like Baji said. 

You hop on behind him on his motorbike as he passes you his helmet, making sure it’s securely on your head before he drives off. 

For just a moment, the wind seems to blow all the worries from your mind. With your arms wrapped tightly around Baji’s torso, you close your eyes and think of those better days he had spoken about.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to see if they could really happen…

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 2/15/2023

[dogboynico]

seven d’vilkan timeline until just transferring to solis

⚠️ child abuse, transphobia, neglect, abusive relationship and probably a lot of other things i cant think of atm errr i don’t know how tumblr formatting works (my bad). this is going to super messy and all over the place but its mostly so i can have most of his shit in place

Varius is the king of io’thea (imaginary lithuanian place) and his wife and him have 5 kids, all girls. he hopes for an heir to the throne, so he’s like Okay might as well have a son out of wedlock. cool. and he meets Renata (my beloved) in a quaint little village a good distance away from the manor. she hates him at first because he’s sort of an asshole but he wins her over because he can be (selectively) sweet. he starts spending less and less time with his own wife and children, helping around here and there in her little home. she does not know he is the fucking King though (since their little village falls just outside the boundaries & is rather isolated) and she would not fuck around with him if she did know. varius falls in love with her, and Renata later lets him know she’s pregnant. in private, Evelia (Renata’s mom) lets her know that she is absolutely CERTAIN that it’s a boy. because i love foreshadowing. meanwhile in the Lutkus household Varius’s wife (Camelia) is like    “Heyyy i’m pregnant again btw. get back here and help me take care of the kids you mangy fucking scoundrel”. [during this time, renée is 11, edeline is 7, silvija, rubyna, and adria are all 1] Varius’s love for Renata is very fleeting, and he mostly just used her as a means to an end. it’s the first time he’s ever felt so strongly towards a person, and it scares him. he really DID love her but he loved his position in society more than he loved her so he goes back to being a Good Dad (for now) to his children and leaves Renata heartbroken in her village. they had previously been talking about marriage (she doesn’t know he’s already married!) so this comes as a complete shock to her. i’m sure werewolf packs are very close knit and would normally help her raise her kid but she’s sort of like    a social pariah in the village. not because she really did anything wrong it’s more like   she and her mother live in the village but they haven’t really been accepted into the pack. i should clarify that the village is the more stationary part of a bigger pack that travels around very frequently. Renata’s other two children travel around with them rather than stay at home with her and Evelia (because Evelia isn’t well enough to travel).  they especially don’t really want anything to do with her once Varius started swinging around (because he is new and seems like a threat)

Camelia has her kid, Adelyte, sometime during the end of february (i think it’d be funny if he was born on a leap day). all is good in their household and Camelia doesn’t care too much anymore that Varius probably cheated on her, she’s just glad he’s back and helping take care of their children. they make amends with each other but there’s a sort of stiffness about them now. wherever Renata and Evelia live, Seven is born and they’re happy with him. he isn’t born a boy to his grandmother’s surprise, but they’re glad he’s a healthy pup anyway. he looks just like his mother, which is a relief to Renata. any reminders of Varius’s visits are scraped clean from the household and his chair is thrown out. things are rather tough with a new mouth to feed and only one person able to support them, but their lives are peaceful for a time. his mother and his grandmother start teaching him ice magic from a very early age, since it’s their whole bloodline thing. i like to imagine that born werewolves tend to have their first shifts at around 9-10 years of age ? there’s not much his mother and grandmother can really teach him until his instincts kick in, and they never get to teach him about pack dynamics since their “pack” is just his mom, grandmother, and him. he’s a little uncultured sorry. he does get along with the other village kids, even if they’re a bit wary of him at first ! it’s at around 5-6 years of age that he’s like Hey mama i am just like the other little boys look at me go :) and his mom is like Oh ok i see let’s make you some new clothes sport. i imagine he’s like. very adamant as a kid about knowing that he is in fact male so his mom knows early on and she’s very supportive of him and so is his grandma (bless them) back in the Lutkus household, Varius and Camelia realize that something is very wrong with Adelyte when they try to start training him in magic at age 5. it’s the first time he’s ever tried to use magic and he’s somewhat successful, but upon using it he triggers a degenerative disease. surprise ! Camelia’s bloodline is riddled with [i havent come up with a name yet im so sorry] which tends to skip generations, which she never warned Varius about. they get into THE biggest argument of their marriage over this, because Adelyte’s health quickly deteriorates. it’s a magic degenerative disease, and once the person who has it USES magic for the first time it starts up. it saps away at their magic over time, and eventually their life force. Adelyte is a very sickly kid, and they are like Ok no more magic for you  also sorry but you probably will not be king since we don’t expect you to live much longer. (he does end up living fairly long in canon, til like his… 20s-30s? which is a lot longer than he was supposed to) Varius and Camelia are in the process of divorce because ever since they learned that Adelyte is sickly, they’d been having nonstop screaming matches. not a healthy environment for the other kids but they turn out okay because camelia ends up taking them (most of the time) in the divorce. Varius ends up finding out via god knows how   that Renata ended up having a boy too ! he pulls up to where they’ve been living happily, with an offer she can’t refuse. Evelia is frail and often ill due to her age, and Renata can’t keep up with a rambunctious kid who keeps straying to the woods. in exchange for being able to take in his son as an heir (surprise, renata!), Varius will supply them with all the medicine Evelia needs. he’s aged seven here btw ! thought you should know. (i imagine that he would go by whatever name Renata gave him until later in his teens) it’s with a heavy heart that mother and grandmother set the little guy off towards a supposedly better life. i know that technically yes Varius and Renata could get married here but no they will fucking not because renata feels too betrayed by his leaving her. also because he still sucks and is a king and thinks shit like   “I dont want to marry a commoner who is also a werewolf the church will make fun of me :(” after a couple weeks of living with Varius in his now empty manor, Seven is like Hey um hi hey sir when am i going to see my mom again? and Varius is like  “Actually that’s not your mom anymore also wouldn’t you like to meet your siblings instead let’s go meet your siblings aha ok let’s go” basically he’s avoiding the question. seven meets his siblings when they come over for a visit (since they are still royalty despite Camelia and Varius no longer being married) it’s nice ! they have a nice time. he gets along with Adelyte and even gets to play with him in the few hours Adelyte is allowed to be out of bed.  around this time Varius starts to realize that Seven isn’t amab (surprise motherfucker). where he’d previously been a rather aloof father to him, he starts to get more and more aggressive with him. Varius feels like he’s been cheated out of a son. during this time he hires private tutors for Seven, since he can’t send him to a school. seven had already been introduced to the public at this point, so he couldn’t just send him back to Renata or anything instead he opts to keep seven behind the walls of the manor, where no one could look at him too hard. visits from his siblings are very infrequent due to the animosity between Varius and Camelia, so he grows up mostly like an only child.  he tries (read: has one measly attempt) to maintain the rep of a sort of good dad but all Seven wants to do is go home to his mom. understandable. Varius gets fed up with him and decides that he’ll just have to mold seven into the type of person he wants him to be. think frollo from hunchback of notre dame here, where he tells seven it’s best for him to remain isolated from society until he’s ready. whenever he punishes seven for stepping out of line, Varius tells him that he’s sorry and that it’ll be good for him in the long run. "you aren't a man, but if you even want to resemble one you have to perfect yourself. you must excel at everything you do, you have to cast aside your flawed, non-human nature and build yourself in the name of god." he’s    pretty transphobic in private towards Seven in a sense where he’s says   “You are the heir to the throne but you will never be my son” behind closed doors. the whole sibling rivalry thing starts when they’re young. Varius pays more attention to Seven (because he’s constantly looking out for behavior he can correct) and Adelyte interprets this as fatherly devotion towards Seven. he’s extremely jealous of him, since Varius doesn’t visit Adelyte’s room very often in favor of teaching Seven manners and commands. to go into more detail with his training, he’s basically taught seven commands like a dog. hand gestures that mean “come here”, “be silent”, “speak quieter” etc etc. seven’s adhd makes him uncomfortable with eye contact but varius like. worsened that by a lot. eye contact is like    something ingrained into him by his father but only in certain situations. when he meets people who are very important to his father he can mask and hold eye contact for a while but in solis which is his safe space he just cannot do it with anyone. (there are some exceptions to this). Varius teaches him that certain whistles mean different things for like public settings. no one really witnesses the way Varius treats him in private so Adelyte just thinks that Seven is actually having a good father-son bonding moment constantly. Seven really believes that they are, because his father loves him. right? (debatable).  (this is sort of unrelated but wtv) seven grows his hair out pretty long until one day his father says it makes him look like a woman so he lops most of it off. (he does later let it grow out again once he’s an adult) the rivalry is kind of onesided since it’s mostly Adelyte tell people “I’m going to excel at my things and be way better at everything compared to my runt of a brother”    while Seven is just trying to scrape by and appease their father. Seven starts learning the family trade, which is shadow magic and an assortment of banned black magic. not very good for his mental health. traversing the void as a child is scary! it’s not entirely bad at first until at some point Varius gets fed up with his slow process and shoves him into the deep end, both physically and metaphorically. he’s trapped in the void for around a day and half before he makes his way back. (there is so much More to this trauma but i cant find where i wrote it) Varius makes him use only shadow magic but he continues practicing ice magic in his room since it makes him happy and reminds him of his mother. i am a firm believer in thinking that the type of magic you use constantly at a young age has lasting effects on your body. this is why Seven’s body temperature is colder than what an average person or werewolf has. atp he’s started taking doses of testosterone with black magic, which slowly has a toll on his body. the veins on the insides of his thighs are a very dark, almost black color due to the way it’s rotting him little by little. i dont delve into this a lot in canon solis because i always forget but he is like scary good with shadow magic but it drains the energy out of him super super quickly. also he just doesn’t like using it. i’m not entirely certain yet HOW she does yet but Renata drowns and seven sees her go under.  this is where his intense fear of water comes from. her last spell / dying curse is for seven to bring ruin to the bloodline which inflicts him with his infamous bad luck. Varius boots him off to private school (he’s like 13-14 at this time) because he’s also grieving. he did love her to some extent, so the loss makes him start acting irrationally and the pain of seeing seven around (who looks Just Like her) is too much to handle.

Varius passes the family tome down to Seven before he leaves for school. which includes some very fucked up dark magic.  anyway Seven goes off to the institute and meets Lysander a couple weeks in. Seven seems to attract trouble wherever he goes, and lysander is certainly a Guy ! but he’s the first person seven meets who isn’t outwardly abrasive towards him, so Seven takes a passing interest in him. Lysander becomes very curious about Seven because he never changes with the other boys in the common rooms or dorms or wherever they all get changed (because 1) he has boobies and 2) bruises/scars from his father). he follows Seven around for a while before he gets fed up smelling him all the time and pins Lysander to a wall and asks him what the fuck he was doing following him for days. Lysander is like “i think you are very handsome, i wanted to get to know you better in hopes that i could be your boyfriend.” which has seven absolutely FLABBERGASTED. Lysander is a sweetheart in the beginning, doing all the things a good boyfriend should do and being very pleasant towards him. this phase lasts maybe around a year or so ?? they’re around 15 at this time. over the summer, Seven invites Lysander over to the manor so they can hang out (also he hopes that the presence of a guest will prevent Varius from any further harm). that’s where everything goes downhill Very quickly. the pair are very close, close enough that Varius realizes that (surprise!) his heir likes boys. he is not pleased. he doesn’t do anything while Lysander is there because he has a reputation to uphold but the day he leaves Seven is in for more Retraining (abuse). when he returns to school Lysander is like “Hey bud you aren’t looking so hot what happened when i left?” and seven lies “Aaahhha nothing i’m okay! my dad was just a little stricter after you left is all" Lysander doesn’t believe that in the slightest and forces Seven to show him his back, turning him around and pulling his shirt up to take a look at the scars (this is a red flag but seven is colorblind)

after this it clicks in Lysander’s head that seven doesn’t have anyone that sticks up for him. i haven’t mentioned it yet but he has exhibited some violent tendencies towards Seven before this point and it only gets worse after the summer trip. things escalate to the point where Seven breaks up with Lysander for fear of his own life. it doesn’t go over well with Lysander, who promptly lures Seven out with intent to kill. it ends with Lysander having his insides turned to outsides. it’s a sort of romantic moment in a twisted way because they are tender with each other while Lysander lies on the grass in agonizing pain. both of them sustain injuries from this, Lysander having cut Seven in multiple places with a silver dagger before finally going down. Seven realizes he /liked/ doing that. it’s all he’s been conditioned to do over the course of his life. the incident is covered up by the school because you can’t just tell people some guy almost died and also Lysander’s parents + Seven’s dad aren’t gonna like…. go around telling people their sons are gay. so it’s kept quiet and Seven goes back home for a time (he’s 16 almost 17 at this time). this is where he finally gets sent off to solis.  as a side note, lysander doesn’t die from the mauling. he gets taken to a very expensive cleric (he has gnarly scars from the event though). i should mention. seven has a TRUCKLOAD of issues. anger problems, touch issues, jealousy problems, he’s very possessive of what’s his, he doesn’t like to share his food, rsd to the slightest things, he smokes?? there is a lot. his anger issues arent particularly bad anymore but he does have some days where he has to lock himself in his dorm to avoid people. he’s also really really awful with touch, and being even shoulder brushed by strangers can cause him to either freeze up and start panicking or set him off. 

[nonotnolan]

Fiverr Warlock: Swap and Servitude

Back in August, I would have told you that renting an apartment a block away from Greek Row was the worst idea ever.  I thought maybe the eye candy would balance out having to deal with the constant noise and partying that happens all the time, but it turns out a good half of them are just here on Daddy’s money.  Or at least the ones that live in the houses on this street.  So many twink-y guys in Sperrys and sweaters.  Good on them for having an aesthetic, I guess, but... it’s not for me in the slightest.

My type is more of the hyper-athletic bro, the same type that just happens to never give me the time of day.  I know I’m a pretty book-ish guy, but it’s not like I’ve let my body completely go to shit.  Surely there’s an athletic guy out there who does the same for his brain?  Well, if there is, I sure as hell can’t find him.  Bros only want other bros.

But now that I’ve met Calvin, I’m glad to have an apartment nearby.  Not that Calvin is one of the frat boys I’ve been lusting after-- no, Calvin is a warlock that I discovered on Fiverr.  At least, he says he’s a Warlock, anyway.  I don’t know the difference between a warlock or a wizard or a mage, and I don’t really care.  For $3,000 he can cast a deep sleep spell so that he can swap my body with the frat bro of my choice.  Which... is pretty damn steep.  But, if I can find a way to get one of them alone and restrained, the actual body swapping part is only $200.

And there’s where the End of the Year Party comes into play.  The weekend after Finals Week is a no-holds-barred kegger of epic proportions.  And luckily for me, it’s tradition that anyone who passes out gets duct-taped to the wall next to the sidewalk that leads to campus.  I’ve been walking up and down that path every half-hour since ten pm, eagerly hoping that one of my choices would be found suspended, and at 2 am it finally happened.  There was Phillip, in all his muscular glory.  I couldn’t believe my luck-- he had been my first choice.  Calvin couldn’t guarantee that I could access my new body’s memories for the first few days, and I had known Phillip back in High School-- it would be easy for me to pretend to be him.  Just act like a cocky jerk, and that was half the battle.

“I’ve made my decision,” I said, walking into Calvin’s house holding $200 from the ATM and a case of red bull.  I’d told him about my plan to use the passed-out duct-taping to circumvent the need for a $3,000 sleep spell, and he had agreed to it.

Calvin flipped through the bills before slipping them in his pocket.  “All present and accounted for, fair enough.  Don’t forget to come back tomorrow afternoon so that I can make it permanent.  So, do I know which body I’ll be putting you into?  You won’t be conscious for that part of the spell,” he added, seeing my confusion.  He started walking toward his basement, so I started following after him.  “The first step involves me putting your soul into a jar, that’s the part which is expensive and time-consuming.  After that, it’s just a matter of finding a body which can’t fight back so that the soul in the jar can be swapped out.”

I nodded in understanding.  “I want Phillip’s body,” I said, climbing onto the stone alter that Calvin was pointing at.  The basement was inexplicably eerie, with damp stone and candlelight that failed to fully illuminate all of the jars on the shelves.  This was starting to feel like a bad idea, but I had gone too far to turn back now.  Calvin placed the jar at my lips, and I found myself overcome with drowsiness.

When I woke up, I found myself taped to a cement wall.  The anticipation was brutal, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to confirm much of anything until some of the brothers came back around in the morning to pull everyone down.  Sure enough, when I pulled up the front camera on my phone, I found Phillip’s face staring back at me.  The casual, mess hair... the strong jawline... I was starting to get erect just thinking about it.  Phillip wasn’t quite my type... but with this chest and these shoulders, I would have no issues attracting my type.

Presumably something about the magic that Calvin had cast also allowed me to bypass the hangover that Phillip would have otherwise earned, because I felt totally fine.  Calvin warned me it might take a few days before I gained all of Phillip’s memories, and he certainly had not exaggerated.  I had no idea which room was mine... but I knew what kind of car I drove, and where I had parked it.  I figured I would just drive around for a few hours before meeting back up with Calvin, but... seeing the gym bag in my back seat gave me a new idea.

It was the first time I had ever been inside of a gym before, but thankfully it was mostly empty on a Saturday morning, meaning that no one was around to watch me be clueless around some of these machines.  Still, the feeling of power, the thrill of lifting weights that had been well outside of my capabilities the day before... I never understood why people enjoyed the gym before, but I had to admit, I was starting to see the appeal.

By the time my workout was over, I had regained enough memories to know which room in the house was mine, even if I didn’t remember my roommate yet.  A quick shower, a few rounds of CS:GO, and then it was time for me to meet up with Calvin again so that he could finish the magic.  “I’m finishing up lunch, come on over” he texted.

“Is that... why is my old body wearing a tuxedo?” I asked, staring at the scene in front of me.

“Does it matter?” Calvin asked, giving me a smug grin as he popped a piece of potato into his mouth.  “It’s not like you’re using it anymore.  Soulless bodies make for great servants-- keeping your old body is part of why the spell was so cheap for you.  I have to say, you’re a much better cook than I thought you would be.  I don’t think I’ll have to do much tweaking there.  Now, your cleaning skills, that will take me a few spells to get fixed.  But your old body and I, we have all the time in the world.”

I clenched my fist, trying to sort through the emotions that were swimming through my head.  “But if... if I’m in this body, and that body has no soul... then where did Phillip end up?”

Calvin smiled.  “Phillip is still trapped in this jar.”  He pointed at the glass jar on the other side of the table, that was, apparently, filled with a human soul.  “Nature abhors a vacuum.  A soul in someone else’s body, nature doesn’t like.  Two souls in each other’s bodies?  Nature hates that more.  If you open that jar, his soul will go back to his body, and your soul will go back to yours.  The only way you can keep your new body is if Phillip stays in the jar.  The jar is yours to keep, by the way,” Calvin said, wiping his lip with a napkin.  “I don’t need to cast a final spell or anything, I just need for you to take the jar with you.  If you decide you want to switch back, you have one week to open the jar, and nature will take care of the rest.  After that, his soul will have spent too long outside of a body, and it will evaporate.”

“I... I didn’t mean for him to...” I paused, considering the moral dilemma for the first time.  I had never actually thought about what would happen to Phillip once I stole his body.  And, I had to admit... the more I thought about it, and the more I remembered how much of a dick Phillip had been... the less I cared.  On some level, I think I knew exactly what I was doing.  I looked down at my chest and my arms, giving my new muscles a quick flex.  Yes, this was exactly what I had paid for.  This was mine, now.

“I’ll take it as a keepsake, I guess,” I said, grabbing the jar off the table.  “Thanks for your help, and... uhh, enjoy your new servant, I guess.”

[luke-patterson-owns-my-soul]

Tiny Pretty Phantoms

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Title: Tiny Pretty Phantoms

Words: 2241 (only a short one)

Summary: Charlie and his girlfriend are separated by work.

Requested: Sort of. The lovely and talented @dream-a-little-bigger-x​ got this request. Charlie x reader where the reader is on a tv show like ahs or something that’s not necessarily “kid friendly”. But as she’s not taking them atm, I decided to swipe this one. I hope the anon who requested it doesn’t mind.

TW: Swearing, alluding to sexual intercourse. That’s it I think. If I miss anything, message me so I can edit.

Author’s notes: I’m baccccckkkk. This was my way of getting back into writing reader fic. It’s been a while, and I hope y’all haven’t forgotten me. Also, while I’ve seen Tiny Pretty Things, I know nothing about the cast, so anything I’ve written, is completely made up.

Being back at home in my parent’s home was both reassuring and strange all at the same time. I’d been living in L.A. for almost two years, hundreds of miles away from home. While I missed my family like crazy, I loved being out in the world, being independent, and chasing my dreams.

However, rejection after rejection after rejection were beginning to weigh heavy on me and I had been starting to regret making the move. I’d been considering heading back home and teaching dance to kids. Then, I met Charlie through a mutual friend.

From the moment I met him, there was something that drew me to him; it wasn’t particularly hard. He was charismatic, funny, and crazy talented. The good looks were an added bonus. From that first meeting, we’d been inseparable and after six months, I gave up my apartment and moved in with Charlie and his friends.

We both booked jobs on upcoming TV shows within a week of one another, and we’d celebrated the news hard. A week of partying with your friends had wrecked the apartment, but it had totally been worth it. The main difference between our shows were the target audience. His, Julie and the Phantoms was aimed at a younger demographic to mine, Tiny Pretty Things. I was just glad to be using my ballet background as well as my acting abilities. He was also playing a main character, while I was to be in the background.

I was jolted from my memories by my phone ringing, Charlie’s face filling the screen. With a smile, I answered the facetime call.

“Hey, you.”

“Hey, babe. I miss you.” Charlie was still in L.A., but he was at a boot camp thing that the legendary Kenny Ortega was running.

“I miss you too. How’s it going?” in answer to my question, he held up his hand. I could see band aids wrapped around his fingers. “What did you do?”

“It’s nothing. Guitar war wounds.”

“Poor baby.” I snarked, grinning at the mock upset look on his face. “Oh please. You’re loving every minute.”

“Babe, I really am.” His grin was wide. “When do you fly out to Toronto?”

“Not for another three weeks. I’m back in L.A. the day after tomorrow though. Will I get to see you?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure if we get any time off before we head up to Vancouver for filming.”

I couldn’t help the groan that escaped me. I hadn’t seen him for over two weeks, and I was going insane. It was one of the reasons behind my trip to see my family. They were enough to distract me, at least until I climbed into my childhood bed, the bed that only held me at night. That was when I missed him the most.

“That sucks.” I felt the lump in my throat, an indication I was close to tears.

“I know, babe. I know. I’m gonna try and get back, even if it’s just one night.”

“Please do.” I missed him, missed waking up next to him, missed just goofing around and hanging out with him. He was the man I loved, and I hated us being apart.

:: ::

I’d been in Toronto for almost six weeks. A month and a half had passed since I last saw Charlie, and it was killing me. It wasn’t as if I was alone, far from it. I may not have been playing a main character, but the entire cast of Tiny Pretty Things were close, even those of us in the background. We’d all been put through our dancing paces until we were exhausted – that had a habit of bringing people together.

Charlie and I spoke most days, if we could, and when we did, we were often interrupted by cast mates. Through our facetime calls I became friends with Jeremy, Owen, and Madison, and he became friends with the girls I was rooming with, and Brendan who played Shane. He and I had been partnered up during rehearsals and had become close. It didn’t bother him I wasn’t a main character and he was.

I had a rare night off while the main cast were working hard on some night scenes, so I was able to kick back in my room and relax. And I made the most of it. While a hot bath was running, I connected my phone up to my speaker and hit play on a relaxing playlist Charlie had made for me before we’d had to say our goodbyes and fly to opposite end of Canada.

I’d just sank into the steaming water, bubbles up to my chin when my phone rang. Reaching over, I managed to pick it up, and saw Charlie’s face on the screen. Quickly swiping, I answered the call, despite wanting to stare at the photo I’d taken almost a year ago when we’d gone camping.

“Well, if I’d have known you were in the tub, I would have called sooner.” He grinned as he spoke, making me roll my eyes.

“Charles Gillespie, you’re a damn perv.” I attempted to scold him as he pretended to try and look around the screen to see if he could see anything. Joke was on him, the bubbles came up to my neck.

“Only for you.” I laughed at the corny line. “Hey, why are you in the bath anyways?”

“Because I ache like a motherfucker and I don’t have any night shoots tonight. So, a hot bath is in order. I’ve been dancing almost non-stop for ten hours a day for six weeks. I never did this much when I was with the company.” I knew I was whining; knew I sounded like a petulant child, but I needed to get it off my chest. All of us in the cast moaned to one another, but it wasn’t the same as venting to my boyfriend, no matter how much I loved my job.

“I’m sorry, babe. If I could take the aches away, I would.” I knew he would too.

“I know. Ignore me, I shouldn’t be putting this on you. How’s your set?”

We chatted for almost an hour, Charlie making me laugh about his previous night’s filming eating what he said felt like hundreds of cold hot dogs, making me laugh so much, my stomach was starting to hurt when I climbed out of the bath – much to his enjoyment – and wrapped myself up in a large, soft towel. We carried on talking as I made my way into my room and got myself ready for bed.

“Look, I gotta go. But I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” I couldn’t help but sigh when the call ended, and as I snuggled up in bed, wearing one of his t-shirts, I also couldn’t help crying. It was the longest we’d been apart in over six months, and even though I was loving my job, it hurt how much I missed him.

:: ::

When I walked onto set the following day, it felt as if everyone was acting a little shifty. No one seemed to look at me directly and whenever I initiated a conversation, they either found something else to do, or the director made us begin working.

“Hey, we’re all going out for dinner and karaoke tonight. Make sure you look pretty.” Brendan whispered in my ear as we got into position in the ballet class, ready for our scene.

“Uh, okay. Sure.” He gave me a smile before walking away.

We’d all be out a few times during filming and the rehearsals we’d had before, but this was the first I’d heard about plans for tonight. Rolling my neck and stretching my arms, I put it out of my mind as I followed the instructions of the director as the scene began around me.

By the end of the day, I was yet again exhausted, and the last thing I wanted to do was go out. But, as I packed up my gear, putting my comfiest shoes on, Brendan came over.

“Don’t forget we’re going out. We’re all meeting up in about an hour. Make yourself pretty.”

“Can I give it a miss? I’m ready to have a shower and crawl into bed.” He knew how I was feeling, I could see it etched onto his face too.

“Not tonight, sweetheart. Attendance is mandatory for all.” He flashed me a wide smile before spinning away from me, no doubt off to get ready.

When I got back to the apartment I was sharing with a couple of the other female background cast, they were almost ready. The three of them ushered me into the bathroom to shower, telling me to find a nice dress.

The shower did reinvigorate me, and by the time I was dressed and applying my make-up, I was feeling much better, and was even looking forward to some great food and a good night. There were no shoots the next day, so we were able to let our hair down for the night.

When we all met up, the atmosphere was electric. We’d all worked so hard, and were more than ready for a night of not having to worry about getting up early or having to be in hair and make-up at the crack of dawn.

“Ready for a great night?” Brendan asked, linking arms with me as our huge group began to walk to a restaurant nearby we’d all been to on more than one occasion.

“I am actually. Thanks for making me come.”

“No worries, sweetheart.” He placed a kiss on the top of my head before turning to talk to the two guys behind us.

:: ::

Moving from the restaurant after dinner, we all made our way to a club where all of us were able to let go. I got myself a drink from the bar, and stood on the edge of the dance floor, watching my cast mates and friends having the time of their life, showing off their dancing skills. Laughing, I finished my drink, I put my empty glass down and joined them, losing myself in the deep bass. Brendan was in the center, lapping up the attention in a way only he could. He and Barton, who played Oren in the show, were busting out one of their routines from the show and had attracted a hell of a crowd.

As everyone whooped and hollered, I moved away, needing to head to the bathroom. I pulled my phone out of my purse to check if I’d missed any messages or calls from Charlie, but my screen was blank beyond a photo of the two of us. Disappointment flooded me as I shoved the phone back into my purse. Just as I zipped it up, I crashed into someone, strong hands grabbing my waist to stop me falling over.

Thinking my mind was playing tricks on me as my senses were invaded by the aroma of Charlie, the aroma I knew as well as my own. I looked up to find my boyfriend smiling down at me.

“What… how… huh?”

“Surprise, by airplane, Brendan organized it. Hew knew you were missing me as much as I missed you, So Kenny gave me a couple days off while Madi does some scenes with Jadah.”

“You’re really here?” I still wasn’t sure I was hallucinating.

“I’m really here, until tomorrow afternoon.”

With a squeal, I flung my arms around his neck, and kissed him. The evening suddenly got one hundred percent better.

:: ::

Waking up wrapped up in Charlie’s arms was the best thing. I’d missed it so much, and I knew I was going to struggle when he had to leave again, but I felt so happy being with him.

After he’d surprised me at the club, we’d mingled with my friends for a while before slinking away, going back to the apartment and making the most of the quiet as we got reacquainted with one another, multiple times, all night. So much so that when I managed to untangle myself from Charlie’s arms and legs to go to the bathroom, I ached in a completely different way I had been from work.

Once I was finished in the bathroom, I swiped my phone off the counter in the kitchen and sent a text to Brendan.

Thank you. I owe you one.

Once it had sent, I set the phone down and crawled back into bed with Charlie, making the most of having him with me. Especially naked.

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Tagging: (strikethrough unable to tag) @dream-a-little-bigger-x​​ @calamitykaty​ @crybabyddl​​ @xplrreylo​ @morganayennefertyrell​ @lovesanimals​​ @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve​ @echocharm17618​​ @kinda-really-lost @n0wornever​ @all-in-fangirl​ @5sosmukefan​ @kcd15​ @charliesmountains @amazinggracy​ 

If you want to be added to my taglist, drop me a message.

[lorelexi]

hi !! I fucking adore your writing style and your work!! hope you're having a great week, and that you're drinking plenty of water and stretching regularly!

can I request tamaki, shinsou, hawks and bakugo (and if you can,, sneak in a lil Todoroki or Deku or Kiri or Mirio 👉👈 completely up to you though !! Don't want to overwhelm you !!) having a massive crush on a fem s/o who is popular with guys and especially girls because she sings and plays guitar and has short hair ?? Think Sailor Uranus in terms of looks— but she is completely oblivious about her appeal

bonus if she is a flirt w/o realizing it, she's just trying to be nice and concerned why you're so red, are you sick, here let me check your temperature 🖤

A/N: vibes!!! I f with this idea, thank you so much for requesting!! I’m really glad that you like my writing style! I’ll do my best to drink all my water and stretch I promise!

I decided to go with some headcanons for this idea since it would allow me to write a bit more!

I’m also not writing for any of the pro heroes atm but fret not, I threw in a few other boys to compensate. I hope you enjoy, my love!

---

Bakugou

• this dude,,, was really not expecting to fall for you

• but here he is anyways whoops

• he doesn’t actually even realize how popular you are at first 

• not until one day when he’s walking around the campus after school and sees a big group of girls and he’s like,, the fuck???

• then he thinks he hears your name and he’s even more “????”

• won’t admit that he was being nosy but he totally was when he conveniently started walking in that direction even though that wasn't where he was originally planning to go but whatever

• so he sees you in the middle of the crowd holding a guitar and he’s like :0

• you start to sing and this dude thinks he might combust i swear his ears are so red and he zooms out of there before you can notice him and bring it up

• fr tho he did NOT realize how popular you were

• first with all the girls and then after that he started to become more aware of all the boys you were attracting like hello??

• he gets kind of sick of it eventually, esp when you're hanging out with him and people keep interrupting to talk to you

• in this case, he will simply have to ask you out 

• it's the only way😘

Shinsou

•my dudeeeee

• he knows that you’re wanted

• it makes him want you more 😈

• fr tho he sees why everyone likes you and he’s not shy about talking about it

• 100% does it on purpose and will be like “heyyyyy y/n, you should play a song for us.”

• you’re still oblivious though, so you’re like okay!!🤩

•*a crowd immediately flocks toward you*

• you guys both out here flirting with each other all day long

• you may not realize what you yourself are doing or even processing exactly what shinsou mans by the words coming out of his mouth

• but shinsou does

• needless to say, after some time shinsou kind of breaks and confesses and youre like ??

• “y/n I’ve been shamelessly flirting with you for months now”

• “ I thought you were just being nice?”

• he really can’t even be upset about it

• especially not after you tell him you like him back

• boy is screaming inside

Amajiki

• he's definitely one of the boys who gets all curious and tries to see you but then gets pushed out of the way by some other guys >:(

• excuse me!!! There is a baby here !!watch where u are going!!😠

• you end up seeing him in the crowd all squished and looking uncomfortable so you get up from your seat, your guitar slung around to the side and reach out to him

• there is not one person in that 20 ft radius who wasn't jealous of tamaki in that moment

• he legit gets SO red

•  you're worried it was from being in the crowd and you start to dote over him which makes him even MORE red and well

• you may have to be the one to confess this time around bc it’ll probs be a long time before tamaki can muster up the courage to do it himself

• you confess honestly thinking you’re gonna rejected (which like even if you did,, girl you have so many people lined up who would be 110% willing to take you out) but then tamaki says he feels the same🥺

• you're like “you do??”

• as if this boy doesn't get flustered at even just the sight of you fhfdhfj

• the power you hold

• he nods a lil, playing with his fingers and you just smile real big and ask if you can give him a hug and just-

• agh my heart can’t handle the cuteness!

Midoriya

• the most flustered of them all! 🥰

• we all know this boy has his heart focused on becoming a hero but he just can't help falling for you!!

• you’re just so kind and likeable, and so so so pretty and he just loves your short hair so much fhfabfdhjh

• will physically and mentally malfunction around you

• he knows how popular you are and how much attention you attract from everyone so he always is making sure that he’s never making you uncomfortable or being too overbearing when he wants to hang out with you

• you appreciate it a lot but since you don’t realize that he has a big fat crush on you’re always really lively and willing to hang out with him and it flusters him so much

• you two are probably hanging out one day and you play him a song on your guitar while you rest your head on his shoulder and he’s melting,,, his face is so red

• you look up and ask if he’s okay and he does that lil thing where he waves his hands around and over his head trying to assure you that he’s fine without giving himself away

• your obliviousness to his feelings are a blessing and a curse

• poor boy😪

• it’s ok tho bc when yall finally sort that out you're the cutest couple and deku definitely gets a rush of pride knowing he’s dating a goddess who everyone adores😌

Kirishima

• this boy!!

• he thinks it’s so cool how much everyone likes you and he loves to hear you sing and play guitar🥺

• literally has zero shame he will compliment you all the time

• even though he has a big crush on you but he doesn’t do it in a way that is overly flirtatious or in a way that would make you uncomfortable!

• making someone uncomfortable just isn’t manly, yknow!?

• you definitely turn all of his compliments around on him

• not in a mean way! Just like in a  “no you❤“ kind of way

• bc you also like Kiri and you don’t really see how someone as great as him can just compliment you so easily so you always make sure to return the favor because you’re nice like that😌

• jokes on kiri though because while he sounds endearing when he compliments you, you unknowingly just sound so flirty and this boy has to try so hard to suppress the blush that’s rising up the back of his neck

• omg omg one day you offer to teach him a few guitar chords and it’s so cute!!!

• “ah no hehe, it’s like this Kiri!” you say as you move his fingers to strum the right guitar strings

• Kirishima rubs the back of his neck with his hand “ah I just can’t seem to get it right, you’re just way too good at this!”

• 10/10 very sweet

• mayhaps you confess with a song 👉👈

• and while it’s so cheesy I think that Kirishima would actually really like that hehe

• you end up dating and everyone is very jealous of kiri but yall are too cute so really how mad can they be

[shinjaeha]

itsay ep 4 (thoughts + spoilers)

idk even know how to even start this bc i feel like i’m just a big ball of emotions, and this ep was wild. so much happened. last ep was so wonderful and almost languid with how everything played out (esp since it focussed much more specifically on the shift in teh/oh-aew’s relationship). this ep had a bit more of everything, not just the two of them in their bubble anymore. societal forces at play, and hence much more angst. again, this isn’t a  proper analysis, it’s just me ranting and raving as usual as i semi-rewatch this again. this is very long, and there are a lot more things i want to think about in more detail at some point bc i’m mostly just skating over a lot of what happened but i gotta get these thoughts in my head out of me somehow. and i’m not sure if what i’m typing will even make sense bc i MYSELF can barely make sense of what i’m feeling but here i go anyway.

so we start off with the both of them kind of awkward after the night before which is fair enough considering what happened. actually when oh-aew’s habit started playing up again, i thought teh wasn’t going to scratch his back bc he was trying not to ~go there again after the night before, but he did and i was pleasantly surprised like oh...maybe things aren’t that bad?? (YET). also, i can imagine that it would have been reassuring for oh-aew too. like things have changed, but it’s not like teh has completely abandoned him. the touch itself is comforting, like when they were kids.

teh’s mum talking about how she wants both of her sons to bring their girlfriends around (and hounding him about bringing tarn around again) is giving me war flashbacks to my own asian relatives and i can feel the way that must crawl under his skin. I HATE when family members do that (and they always do). but for teh it must be esp hard bc he’s already constantly feeling like he’s vying for his mum’s attention over his brother, and now hoon’s bought back a girlfriend so it’s yet ANOTHER thing he feels like he has to compete with his brother over. in the back of his mind, he knows that he can’t give his mum what she wants if he’s with oh-aew (he can’t ‘win’ over hoon bc heteronormativity). teh is def prone to jealousy fairly easily, but i always feel like his emotions on that base level are also very easy to understand. i’ve been in positions like that before where i’ve felt like i’ve constantly been compared to someone else, and it makes you feel like shit. but also oh-aew having to sit through teh’s mum telling him to let her know if teh and tarn are dating?? ouch.

cue teh trying to avoid what’s going on with them and oh-aew being sad :((( they’re both in so much pain and i feel it and thank god i am no longer a teenager that’s all i can say about this.

the guitar in skyline instrumental is just...making me feel some kind of way. they have so many versions of this song and they always use the right version at the right time how is that.

so the tarn scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first thought: holy shit she looks so cute i love her crop top where did she get it i want one. second thought: but why did they make her wear a dark bra under such a light top?? i love that i was thinking this and then it all unravelled in front of me and like...the brilliance. the contrast between the scene in ep 2 (i think?) where teh accidentally peeks at her bra through the buttons of her shirt and gets noticeably flustered, and then this one where she literally wears the same bra under a light shirt ON PURPOSE to get his attention, but he doesn’t even notice?? the way she expects him to colour the hibiscus purple, but he colours it red for oh-aew instead?? it’s so incredibly telling of where his heart is at, and how his feelings have changed. anyway, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s just not all there with her anymore, and tarn isn’t stupid...she’s been picking up on the signals since the beginning (why was he so weirdly obsessed with beating oh-aew at the start? why was he willing to wake up at 4am for oh-aew but not for her? willing to tutor the rest of his friends but not spend time with her?). the way she sees him colouring the hibiscus red and it’s her wake up call, like wtf am i DOING bc of this guy????? i love how she acknowledges that her feelings for teh have made it so she’s solely focussed on him and that she hates the things it makes her do (like wearing the bra to gain his attention). ngl i was slightly worried with how they were going to use her character during these later eps with teh being so conflicted (since girlfriends in BLs are usually handled pretty poorly), but i appreciate that she’s still as fleshed out and full of feeling as she ever was. she’s so sweet, and i just wish she had better than this, but i’m glad she called teh out on it. i know he’s confused af rn, and tbh i don’t think he’s handled this as badly (atm at least) as i thought it could have gone, but at the same time, if he doesn’t decide and set his heart on what he really wants, he’s just going to end up hurting them all. LOVE that she basically tells him to get his shit together first before coming back to her. i like her so much. and that scene of teh just walking around and around at the back feeling conflicted while she drew? really reminds me of the squiggly line timeline(?) of how ep 4 was going to go that nadao released before this ep went live. also cmbyn vibes were real in that one.

the devastation in oh-aew’s voice when he asks teh to at least reply his messages ;;; it’s like teh wants to go back to just being friends and oh-aew has kind of accepted that at this point, but at the same time, teh’s not backing that up. he says he wants to be friends, but he doesn’t know how to act ‘normal’ about it anymore, so he pushes oh-aew away instead. good on oh-aew for not taking that shit and standing up for himself too. i absolutely cannot stand seeing oh-aew sad bc pp’s sad face/voice is so good it actually pains me.

notice how teh ALWAYS uses studies/tutoring as an excuse to get closer to oh-aew again...hmmm...does oh-aew see it for what that is now too? that “you’ve never understood me” hit me like a fucking train. to think that they were so attuned to one another last ep, but now teh’s too caught up in he’s own world to realise just how much he’s hurting oh-aew. thanks, i hate it.

i know that he’s needs to figure himself out more and i absolutely stand by the fact that he needs to do that without messing around with either oh-aew or tarn (and also that he’s using studies again to get into oh-aew’s good books instead of talking through feelings and all that), but the chinese idiom book that he made for oh-aew was actually SO CUTE and romantic. all this stuff he does for oh-aew to show that he clearly cares so much, yet he can never accept it enough to get the words out...

I SWEAR THEY PLAY THE INSTRUMENTAL SKYLINE JUST TO CHOKE ME UP. the darting around each other after the neck kiss COUPLED with the skyline instrumental?? it’s like a sad beach scene 2.0. teh making the first (intimate) move this time. every time he’s trying so hard to convince himself he’s not in love with this boy, and every time he keeps coming back. i always feel such a weird mix of happy and sad when i see them together bc i love them but i know teh in particular, is just not ready yet. like the hug scene made my heart leap, BUT they did it in hiding (under the staircase). all their big intimate scenes are in hiding and that just :(((

teh saying that he loves the seawater on his back bc it holds him up, and oh-aew saying but you have to hold your breath in that posture and it gets uncomfortable so he likes letting it go and just sinking sometimes instead (obv paraphrasing but you get the drift)?? THE WRITING IN THIS. it says so much without telling the audience directly...so poetic. everything about this show is so poetic. the way they sink into the ocean and into that space of oh-aew’s where you can just let yourself go without holding back, and then and only THEN does teh finally kiss oh-aew. and it’s beautiful, after holding back for so long, but it’s also painful bc he’s let go but only within this tiny pocket of space and time. in hiding again. that bird’s eye view shot where you can’t see them at all sealed it for me. like you want to be happy, but you can’t really bc you know that they’ve still got so much more to go...like when teh’s hand grazes oh-aew’s chest and you see oh-aew realise again...like that’s partly what stopped teh the first time in ep 3. when his hands stopped at oh-aew’s chest like it hit in for him that he was a boy. anyway, love that they gave us a skam kiss but i’m also very sad. on another note, how the hell did they hold their breath for that long?????

love that they gave us a further 2 more seconds of teh/oh-aew being cute (CONSTANTLY thinking about teh’s fingers dancing across oh-aew’s face and smushing his face in his hands...oh-aew holding the back of teh’s head...just a brief moment of carefreeness) before they went for the jugular. watching teh fight against himself in this way is what hurts. oh-aew begging him to just let go and accept what they are (the way he keeps going “what did i do wrong?? you feel it too!!”) but he’s so tortured he can’t do it. it’s downright fucking heartbreaking. the “one day i’ll stop feeling this way”...could have just stabbed oh-aew and it would have hurt less. all i know is i’m hurting for the both of them. the repression is real, and it just sucks. this whole thing fucking sucks for both of them (and tarn and bas too at that). idk it just gets me that oh-aew is coming out of this having been rejected once again bc teh isn’t ready yet. and i know this but it doesn’t make me any less upset. not at any of them bc it’s hard i know it’s hard...just at the situation. sometimes it feels like teh’s taking a step forward but then he takes two more back instead. the look on teh’s face when oh-aew was like let’s stop being friends...total devastation. i’m done. don’t want to think about it anymore.

i’m glad that oh-aew’s parents are so supportive of him though. i wasn’t sure how close they were based on their previous interaction but they really love him and i’m glad he has that stability to help him through this.

THE SCENE WITH OH-AEW AND THE BRA FUCKING BLEW ME AWAY. this show is always keeping me guessing, and again yet another thing that i wasn’t expecting but it was so visceral. the red of the bra in comparison to tarn’s bra with the purple hibiscus flowers on it...everything connects. oh-aew looking into the mirror with that bra on and thinking about how things would have been different if only :((( and then his breakdown when he realises that it’s not and that’s the reality of the situation. the feeling that gave me sits so deep within my chest i can’t even begin to carve it out.

teh masturbating when he sees that picture of oh-aew and to that picture of yongjian on his wall (idk why it only now just occurred to me that yongjian is always in red too)?? the self-hatred in this scene. the internalised homophobia. my heart feels so heavy.

he KEEPS reaching and it’s going nowhere bc it won’t ever be enough, and that’s not fair on himself and it’s not fair on tarn. like i understand what he’s going through, and i get that he’s extremely confused and needs the clarification, but when he asks tarn to tell her she loves him and he can’t do the same back for her...i just feel so, so, so fucking bad for tarn.

oh-aew hoping that the worksheets left for him were from teh (which would be very on brand of him), but then seeing bas :( maybe in another world, in another life (like teh and tarn)...but he’s such a sweetheart. bas, best boy ;;;

legit as soon as the gang came to see teh off to bangkok and talk to him about how oh-aew was doing terribly (and wasn’t planning on going to the admission exams) i knew where this was going to go. there’s been so much foreshadowing leading up to this, and this was also one of (if not my main theory) with how things were going to eventually play out. but tbh for some reason i thought it was going to play out later in ep 5...but like damn. damn. the way i understand but at the same time i kept going OH TEH :( throughout this. the utter STRESS this bit put me through. THE MISCOMMUNICATION.

anyway, teh’s love language is clearly acts of service. but it can really be to his detriment when he does things impulsively (albeit with care and good intentions), but he doesn’t use his words so things get lost in translation. sometimes actions just aren’t enough and you really do need words to communicate.

the confirmation scene was so tense...even now i’m just sitting here thinking about it and there’s a hole in my stomach at the thought of what teh must be going through and what he ends up doing. like when that last person on the list shows up and you KNOW it’s going to happen but at the same time it’s like a punch to the chest bc there’s just no doubt that teh’s going to turn it down for oh-aew...OF COURSE he would. oh-aew’s split moment of happiness before realising what teh’s done...the absolute dread i still have in me at the realisation of this.

the tension really kept increasing from here on in...teh coming home and his mum just being so fucking proud of him and telling everyone in the restaurant about how happy she is for him (all while teh is absolutely depleted), then tarn coming in and everything bubbling over when she realises what teh’s done too. realises that teh’s in love with oh-aew (smile is so great in this btw like WOW). the “you hurt me and i’m alright with that, teh, but right now you’re hurting yourself” broke my heart. absolutely love tarn as a character and only ever want the best for her.

when he tells his mum :((((((((((( and his mum just goes on about how hard he’s worked and how much he’s already sacrificed only for him to throw that away. he wanted her to be proud of him SO BAD, wanted to not be compared to his brother for once, only for him to give away his place bc he loves oh-aew more than he wants his mother’s praise. more than he wants to compete and ‘win’ against his brother. when she points to hoon and goes “why can’t you be more like him?” and he just loses it. like rubbing salt in the wound. i’m so glad hoon finally hugged him the way i’ve been wanting to this whole time. the banner congratulating him that teh’s mum made with all his materials from before :((( hoon giving him money for uni :((( you ever watch some things and feel like you’ll never be happy again...

okay the way that everything spiralled during the ig story fight?????? what gets me is that teh sacrificed his place thinking that oh-aew wasn’t going to sit the exam at all (he could have just talked to him and convinced him instead but ughhh i understand i get it). oh-aew thinks he did it bc teh didn’t believe he could get in himself (which of course then spurs him to give it up so he can get in through the exam instead). and when teh sees that, it’s like a smack in the face, like he went through all that only for oh-aew to reject it (him). it’s just layers upon layers of miscommunication and the anxiety of it all absolutely guts me. and then the anger mixing into devastation when he opens his book and sees how it’s all cut up. the remnants a reminder of everything he’s done for oh-aew. this boy that he adores but can’t accept he has feelings for. it’s just this mix of anger and sorrow and what have i fucking done?????? and how could he????? the cast were all fantastic but billkin really had to go above and beyond in this one and i could absolutely feel his pain throughout this.

TO PIGGY BACK ON THIS, like i said before, teh has always used studying/tutoring as a tool to get closer to oh-aew, but seeing that book with all the words gone was in part also him realising he doesn’t have that anymore. he can’t use that tool to get close to oh-aew anymore. the only way forward would be to actually get close to oh-aew without the pretences. and the saddest part of this all is that oh-aew doesn’t even NEED all of that (the tutoring, the book of idioms, the relinquishing of his uni spot)...the only thing he wants is for teh to ADMIT his feelings out loud. to admit that he feels the same way about oh-aew that oh-aew feels about him.

it’s funny bc in the last ep, the conversation that had me feeling the most nervous was when they’re talking at the cape, and oh-aew’s telling teh that he’s a rival and inspiration to him. i always KNEW this was going to come back to haunt them. like a constant circle. friends to rivals to friends to more than friends(?) to rivals. it’s a fine line. narratively, it always had to happen, and now they’re back to competing against one another yet again, and it’s going to be so tough bc they’ll have so much more competition on top of that as well.

next ep is going to be very, very hard on teh, but somehow after this ep, i just feel a lot more hopeful about it? i’m pretty convinced at this point that it won’t end in tragedy (which was the thing that i wanted least of all). of course i want both teh and oh-aew to end up together, but i can understand if they don’t. if this ends with them rekindling their friendship again, that’ll be enough for me. their relationship has been so turbulent and passionate that it needs some stability, and hopefully when teh’s in a better state of mind, when he’s at a place when he’s finally accepted all parts of himself, they’ll get there. so if that means it ends on them running to the cape together (even if they’re not technically together) fulfilling their promise to one another in the sunset, then that’s fine with me. i don’t mind an open ending if it makes sense in the context of the story, and i think something like that would. it’s like after such an angsty episode, you need a slight reprieve from it. i have no doubt in my mind that ep 5 will contain darkness, but i do think that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. so for once i feel truly hopeful about it.

i can’t believe we only have one more ep left to go...

[ravenxbones]

Your flash sheet is so cool!!!! I love how many details there are in all of the designs; would you be willing to give the scoop on what your favorites are or what the inspiration/designing process was like for you??

hi! i’m so glad you liked them!!

my process was pretty…simple? i went into it with a solid idea for the mama design since that was what originally made me want to draw flash sheets for tbp but i knew i wanted to try and do ideas that were at least fairly original/that i hadn’t really seen before (with the exception of like. house of wolves. i think almost everyone includes a wolf in that one). so i’d kind of conceptualize what i wanted with that in mind, and trying to draw some inspiration from the lyrics if i could (especially if like. nothing was coming to mind). i was also at least a little bit trying to think of things that could translate well into american traditional since that was my biggest influence! i’m not a tattoo artist but i love tattoos (have 2, sort of planning another one atm, hoping to get more) and i really love tattoos that are at least inspired by american traditional (my tastes lean into neo traditional by. quite a bit) so that was what my inspiration was!

my favorite designs are:

cancer — this one was inspired by that one post that was floating around a while back that posited cancer was an aids allegory. now i’m not really. committed to the idea that that’s TRUE, but i really liked the idea…and you have to admit that there’s at least a little merit to it. anyways. there’s a lot of flags in american traditional though they’re usually (obviously) american flags. i don’t think ive ever seen a body wrapped in one before though. that being said scythes and spiderwebs and hands with envelopes are all very traditional imagery! this one might be my favorite out of all of them.

house of wolves — this one is a fairly simple idea (wolf. fire. roses. at least two of those are super common in tattooing) but i think it ended up looking 1. super cool and 2. the most like an actual american traditional style tattoo. the lyrics in it are my favorite part of the song (if you count the background chanting as lyrics ig) and i really like the way the wolf turned out! basically the process for this one was to find a reference pic i liked and bolden up and simplify the shapes a little, then use the colors traditionally used for wolves in american traditional. again it’s pretty simple but i really like it.

the sharpest lives — fun fact. i was originally thinking of doing a chaise with romeo and juliet (callback to the first couple lines of the song & also to my favorite part of the song which is that it mentions my favorite shakespeare play/ballet) a la the death scene in the play. then i figured that was overly complicated and i would have to draw two small figures in a traditional style and bailed on that idea. so a dagger (i love them) it was and i wanted to include the vampire fangs because that’s the other best part of that song. things i like: romeo and juliet, vampires, blood, fangs, knives. so it worked out. and it was feeling a little empty so a rose found its way in as well. i like the colors in this one a lot (blue isn’t something i’d usually consider my favorite color but. it’s real pretty).

famous last words — i’ve seen a lot of designs with a split design but they’re usually black and white/feature pinup-y women with dark hair (both common in american traditional & a nod to fear and regret i believe) & i. well i really like sun and moon imagery and i kind of couldn’t believe no one had done something with that before because sun = day = awake + moon = night = asleep. that’s dumbing it down a little but yeah! that was basically the entire idea. it just came down to finding a composition i liked and what do you know, i found one. this one’s also pretty simple but i think the simplest ones turned out the best.

after i came up with the ideas i basically just looked for a lot of reference images of those specific things in american traditional to see if anyone had done it before and then tried to combine the different parts i liked best into something unique and cohesive. sometimes i couldn’t find reference (wttbp, blood, sleep) and i had to kind of cobble together something together. again, i’m not an expert in tattoo design or in classic american tattooing so i did my best.

thank you so much for the interest/kind words/letting me ramble! i really appreciate it!!

[krsnbgirl]

Fly High! || Kageyama xFem!Reader || Part 5

Summary: Hinata and Kageyama come over for a tutoring session since exams are right around the corner. Finally, they have a chance to have a little peek of your personal life at home after getting to know you more through your lunch time tutoring sessions. Kageyama also touches base with you about your decision which has finally come to an answer.

Pairing: Kageyama Tobio x Fem!Reader

Genre: Rom-Com, Slice of Life, Sports

Warnings: None for this chapter

Chapter's Word Count: ~3.1k

Author's Note: This is somewhat of a filler chapter, well in some cases hahaha. There are more moments with Kageyama though! All interactions with the story are much appreciated, but I would love to hear some feedback through the comments ; ^ ; I'm not sure if my writing is any good, but I'm assuming it's been going alright considering all the notes on the series?? Don't mind me, just being a little insecure about my writing atm...^^;

Taglist: @misnmatchedsox​ @monviemoo​ @love-beyond-words​ 

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || || Part 5.5 || Part 6 || Masterlist 

The blaring sound of a phone going off echoed through the bedroom as you sleepily reached out for it and took it off its charger. Squinting at the sudden brightness, you saw who was calling you and sighed. Right when you pressed the green button, the upbeat voice of your best friend could be heard. Still trying to wake up, you changed the call to be on speaker as you listened to Nishinoya ramble about his morning. Then you winced when he suddenly exclaimed about the new information he received from his fellow teammates during their morning practice.

“You’re tutoring the two idiots later today?!”

You yawned and stretched to get your body to feel more awake before replying, “Oh yeah...Hinata asked if they could squeeze in some more studying time before exams this week.”

“(Y/N)-chan, you’re a girl and you can’t just have two boys over when you’re home alone!”

You rolled your eyes and picked up your phone as you got out of bed. Making your way towards the kitchen, you smiled to yourself as you saw the plate of food your mom left. Taking a seat in front of the food, you settled down to enjoy your meal.

“You’re being overprotective Yu-nii. Just because our moms went on a trip together doesn’t mean you’re in charge of me.”

“UH YES I AM, I AM OLDER THAN YOU BY A YEAR.”

You laughed before digging into the food and said, “Okay and if it’ll ease your mind you can come over if you’d like and join us.”

“Ugh I wish I could, but I already promised Ryuu and Ennoshita that we would study together...we’re not trying to let you first years beat us!”

“Wait, how did you know they were coming over anyway?” You asked before taking a sip of your water.

“We had an early practice today and during our jog, Hinata was saying how excited he was to hang out with you.”

“Aw, that’s cute. He really is a ray of sunshine, isn’t he?” You snickered.

“(Y/N)-CHAN! Do you have a crush on Hinata?”

You burst out laughing and immediately said, “No I don’t Yu-nii, he seems like a brother to me at this point. Because of how innocent and bright he is, it makes me just want to take care of him like an older sister y’know?”

“Oh okay, that’s good to hear. Well, I’m glad BECAUSE I’M NOT READY TO LET YOU GO TO ANYONE ELSE. YOU’RE MY PRECIOUS LITTLE (Y/N)-CHAN.”

“There, there Yu-nii. You’ll always be my best friend, no one’s ever going to replace you. Even if I did get a boyfriend you’d just have to live with it.”

“Ugh whatever, I don’t even want to think about it yet. Anyways, I’m stopping by for dinner tonight. I’m going to need a breather after studying with the guys.”

Finishing up your breakfast, you hummed in response and gathered your dishes to clean them.

“What do you want for dinner? I’ll bring it over!”

“Oh~ if it’s your treat then I want takoyaki and yakisoba pan!”

“You’re so cheap.”

“Oh? So if you’re okay with paying more I want tonkotsu ramen, carbonara pasta, fried chicken, onigiri-”

“OKAY, OKAY TAKOYAKI AND YAKISOBA PAN IT IS. Geeze, you’re more simple than I thought.”

“I’m being easy on you, Yu-nii.”

“Alright, I got it. I’m about to go over to Ryuu’s house so let me know if Hinata or Kageyama do something you don’t like. We’ll be there in a flash to whip those two in shape.”

“Yeah, yeah~ take care Yu-nii.”

“You too (Y/N)-chan, I’ll let you know when I’m on my way later. Bye-bye!”

You smiled to yourself as you dried your hands and put away the dishes. It was always nice to know that Nishinoya would always be looking out for you even if he did so in such outgoing ways. His positive personality always lifted up your spirits especially since you were the more reserved one between the two of them. Taking a look at the clock the time for the boys to come over was nearing, so you decided to go ahead and get ready before cleaning up the apartment.

‘I wonder how today is going to go?’

---

Hinata and Kageyama were walking side by side as they made their way towards your area. The two had met up at the intersection they usually split up from to walk together since they didn’t want to awkwardly show up and make a fool out of themselves in front of you if they had shown up by themselves.

“Hey Kageyama, I wonder what her room looks like? Do you think it’s all frilly and pink like on TV?”

“I don’t know.”

“I hope she doesn’t think we’re even more stupid since we’ll be studying with her longer.”

“Who knows?”

“Kageyama, you also need to be more welcoming to her.”

“Shut up, Hinata. I already know what I need to do.”

“Are you sure, you seem pretty scary towards her if you ask me.” He laughed.

Kageyama clicked his tongue before slapping the back of Hinata’s head. “You’re just imagining things, you idiot.”

He quickly fastened his pace to get a head start and the boys began another race to see who would reach there first. In a matter of seconds, they were standing in front of your apartment complex and Hinata called you to let them in. The boys made their way up and Kageyama knocked on the door to let you know that they had officially arrived. They could hear your footsteps approaching and their eyes widened at your appearance. Your hair was out of its usual braid and you were wearing an oversized graphic t-shirt that was tucked into a pair of light denim high-waisted shorts.

“Hinata, Kageyama-kun I’m glad you guys made it.” you smiled at them before walking into the apartment.

“H-H-Hi (L/N)-san! T-Thanks f-for h-having u-us!” Hinata stuttered as he clumsily took off his shoes.

“Y-Yeah, excuse us for the intrusion,” Kageyama said softly as he followed Hinata towards the living room.

“We’ll be studying in my room if that’s okay with you guys?” you asked as you began to make some tea for them.

“A-A-Are you sure?” Hinata asked as he blushed.

“Hinata, relax. You don’t have to be so formal. I thought we’re all friends at this point.” you replied as they watched you rummage around for their cups.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, haha. My bad…” Hinata sheepishly said.

“It’s the room at the end of the hall, make yourselves comfortable! I’ll be there once the tea is finished.”

The boys followed your instructions and entered the room. They were surprised to find it very minimal. The walls were painted white with black trimmings and were filled with medals and certificates from the years that you played volleyball. There was a bed at the corner of the room next to your balcony and a desk that sat at the center and against the opposite wall. An array of polaroids were posted on the wall where your floor desk was. It had your laptop and textbooks neatly on top with a floor chair and your blazer hanging over it. On its side was a shoe rack and had a volleyball sitting on the corner of its top rock. A white coffee table sat in the middle of the room on top of a black rug with a couple of cushions for guests to sit on. Your closet was closed and located nearest by the door; painted with a chalkboard medium that was filled with all sorts of critiques for volleyball, self reminders, and important dates to keep an eye out for. Along the wall where your bed was, there was a body-size mirror snuggled on the opposite corner and a bookcase near it. You had a record player sitting on the floor with a couple of your favorite albums sitting in its holder.

“Woah...it’s so organized,” Hinata muttered as he let his bag drop by the coffee table and wandered over towards the wall where all your medals and certificates hung.

Kageyama let his eyes wander as he took in all the small things that you kept for yourself. He made his way over towards your desk and looked at the different memories you captured through your Polaroid. There were many of you and Nishinoya throughout the years from early childhood days to when you went to middle school together. He noticed that if you smiled hard enough, there was a small dimple that would appear on your left cheek. His eyes softened as he continued to see small tidbits of your life before you came to Karasuno. There were funny ones with your old teammates and a couple of photos with you and the upperclassmen. The one that mainly caught his attention was one that Nishinoya probably took for you. You were surrounded by your teammates as you held up the national trophy with happy tears streaming down your face, sitting in a wheelchair to celebrate your victory.

‘She really loved volleyball, huh?’ He thought to himself as Hinata walked up to him and looked at the photos as well.

“Do you think we’ll make it on her wall someday?”

Always leave it up to Hinata to voice some of his own personal thoughts that he could never say out loud. He shrugged and went to go sit down to get ready for their session. Hinata joined him as well just as you walked through the door with some snacks and their tea. As the three of you got out your notebooks, Kageyama couldn’t help but peek at the polaroid wall once more wishing that he’d have a special photo with you soon.

---

Before you knew it, the sun had already begun to set and Hinata freaked out. He was supposed to be on his way home already to look after his baby sister and Kageyama also needed to leave in order to pick up some food for his family. You walked them down towards the entrance and was taken aback to see both of them bow to you in thanks.

“Man, you’re a lifesaver! (L/N)-san, thanks for helping us study on a Saturday!” Hinata exclaimed with a bright smile on his face.

“Thanks,” Kageyama said and nodded at you.

“Sure, let’s do our best on the exam!” You smiled and Kageyama’s eyes slightly widened as he saw your dimple.

‘Cute…’ He thought as you and Hinata engaged in another conversation about your time as a volleyball player. Kageyama sighed and shook his head to get rid of those thoughts. He didn’t understand why his attention slowly shifted towards you whenever he was in the same space as you. His main priority was to focus on getting better as a setter so Karasuno can beat Seijoh the next time they plays against them.

“Oh? The two idiots are still here?” Nishinoya asked as he walked up to the trio with a plastic bag filled with food slung over his shoulder.

“Noya-senpai!” Hinata exclaimed.

“I hope she was a good teacher to you guys?” He smiled at them before taking his place next to you.

“Yeah! I’m gonna ace that exam for sure now! I think!”

Nishinoya burst out laughing and went to slap Hinata on his back for some encouragement. “Just as I suspected, Hinata! You’re always so positive and let’s hope that what you’re actually saying is true! Or rather, I won’t let (L/N)-san’s kindness go to waste!”

“Kindness…'To have a caring heart. A term used to express a caring attitude one has for another.’” Kageyama muttered as he continued to mentally go over what they had been studying for.

Nishinoya stared at him before laughing again. “You better pass too or else you both won’t be able to go to Tokyo. That and you would have wasted my precious best friend’s time.”

You sweatdropped and tried to calm them down. “Now, now let’s have some faith in them Yu-nii. You’re basically in the same boat as them so don’t be trying to act so superior towards them.”

Nishinoya pouted while Hinata and Kageyama gave you thankful looks. You sighed as your best friend jumped onto you and looked at the other boys. “Have a safe trip home Hinata-kun, Kageyama-kun.”

They waved goodbye and Nishinoya let go of his grip on you. He cheekily held up the food he brought and stuck his thumb towards your apartment. “Let’s go eat shall we?”

You playfully rolled your eyes and made your way up to settle down for the night. Once all of the food was laid out in front of you, Nishinoya was about to play the movie you were planning on watching when out of nowhere your cell phone rang. You picked it up and was surprised to see who called you.

“Kageyama-kun?” you answered and Nishinoya sprang up from his seat, pointing at your phone with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You let out a small gasp but Nishinoya was too quick for you as he tackled you, trying to get the phone out of your hand. On the other side of the line, Kageyama weirdly looked at his phone when he heard the chaos happening in your apartment. He raised an eyebrow at the clatter of the phone and slowly brought the phone back to his ear in time to hear Nishinoya over the line.

“HUUUUH?! KAGEYAMA?! LET ME ANSWER- WHAT ARE YOU- HEY DON’T SLAP ME AWAY- (Y/N)-CHAN!”

“Um...is everything okay?”

You kicked Nishinoya off of you and quickly ran to your room. Locking the door behind you, you walked towards the bed and plopped down onto it.

“Yeah, everything’s fine, sorry about that. Yu-nii was being annoying.” you laughed, slightly out of breath.

“...R-Right…”

Smiling in amusement, you shook your head and caught your breath. You mindlessly kicked your legs and asked, “Um...is there anything you needed, Kageyama-kun?”

“I...um...accidentally left my notebook.”

You sat up and glanced towards the blue notebook that had fallen off of the table. You went to go pick it up and said, “Oh yeah, I see it. Did you want me to give it to you tomorrow?”

“Actually...I’m downstairs…I wanted to try and study more tonight.”

Running towards your balcony, you looked down to see Kageyama looking down and then scuffed the ground with his foot. You giggled over the phone and leaned against the railings.

“Kageyama-kun, look up.”

His eyes widened as he heard you and looked up to see you smiling at him from your balcony. He felt something in his stomach that he only felt when his nerves were high during matches. As he racked his brain for the answer, you waved him up to signal that he could come to pick up his notebook. Clutching the strap of his bag, he swallowed down the nerves and couldn’t believe that he was nervous around you.

“What’s this?”

Kageyama was greeted by Nishinoya and a teasing smile. “Are you trying to get at my best friend, Kageyama?”

The setter clicked his tongue and was about to retort back only to have you intercept and push Nishinoya out of the way. You sheepishly smiled at Kageyama as you lightly pushed him towards the hallway and followed him out. He watched as you glared at the libero and closed the front door, then sigh in relief before turning your attention towards him.

“Sorry about Yu-nii I know he can be overbearing sometimes.” you said while holding out his notebook.

“I-It’s fine...I’m used to it because he’s like that at practice.” He mumbled and gently took it out of your grasp to put it inside of his bag.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, I can walk you down too.” you offered and the two of you began to make their way towards the entrance.

A short and comfortable silence fell and Kageyama was trying to figure out how to start a conversation with you. You looked up and smiled to yourself when you noticed his eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. Trying to help him relax from worrying so much about his social nature, you decided to start the conversation.

“Are you nervous for the exam?”

Kageyama looked down at you as you looked in front of them with your arms behind your back and he shrugged. “Not really, you’ve been a lot of great help to us.”

“That’s good.”

Another silence fell and you finally reached the entrance. You stood in front of him and rocked on your heels, waiting to see if he would say something. He cleared his throat and looked towards the street before he asked, “Have you decided if you’re going to be our manager or not?”

You hummed in thought as you guys ended up looking at the strangers that passed by. “I’m still thinking about it. There are still some things I need to figure out.”

He peered down at you before readjusting his bag and said, “(L/N)-san, at this rate, you can’t move forward. If you want to do this, you have to just believe in yourself that you are able to.”

“Yeah...I guess you’re right.” you softly said as once again, Kageyama knocked some sense into you as if he could read right through the barricade you put up for yourself.

“...And I’d like to have you as our manager too…” Kageyama quietly added.

Your eyes widened as he rubbed his neck, a slight tinge of red could be seen on his cheeks. You chuckled and warmly smiled at him.

“Well if you put it that way, I guess I can’t say no to this offer, huh?” you teased. “I’m kidding, but really though, thanks Kageyama-kun. I guess I can’t let you down after all that you’ve said to me. Just wait for me to settle some things first.” ‘Like going to Ukai-san’s store tomorrow to talk about my past and how we can incorporate my skills into your practice…’ you thought to yourself as a million of new ideas began to form in your head. It also reminded you that there was finally something could do that would help the team raise money for their bus.

His eyes softened and a faint smile could be seen on his face. “You’re welcome, (L/N)-san.”

You smiled widely and excitedly tugged on the strap of his bag. Kageyama raised an eyebrow at you. “In that case, there’s something I need from you and Hinata for help.”

[meruz]

replying to some asks - lots of weird preachy art advice. just trying to cram every sophomore year art school lecture into my blog

ANON, PLEASE SEND ME A PICTURE OF THIS..........................

glad to hear it!!!! I always love to see sketches from other artists but somehow when I post mine I feel like it’s just...cheap? like its not ““Real content”““ LOL... but if even one person likes to see it thats all I need to hear

very interesting question, thank you for being specific because that makes it a lot easier to answer. This is going to kind of sound like what every other artist tells you but

1) Go to figure drawing classes/sessions! I know we’re in the middle of a pandemic right now but actually that might even make it easier to find because a lot of figure drawing sessions are being held online atm! Anyways, I cannot possibly overemphasize the importance or studying the human form from life. It’s something that artists spend their whole lives studying and still learn new things about. Nude figure sessions are far preferred over clothed ones especially for beginners but, really, any practice from life helps. Whenever you draw from observation, make sure to step back and really look at your model and then your drawing. What discrepancies do you see, what feels like its missing, where do you think you can improve, etc etc. developing a critical eye is crucial.

I think figure drawing classes are the best method by far but theres plenty of other ways to get the practice in. I do a lot of cafe drawing and drawing on public transport, personally. Drawing from life is vastly preferred over drawing from photo reference because the human body is a living thing and conveying it properly means understanding 3D space and gesture and movement, all things that are easier to perceive irl. A lot of artists draw from dance videos on youtube to at least get the idea of movement even if it’s ultimately from a 2D screen. Recently, I’ve been drawing a lot from rock climbing videos on youtube!

because they’re climbing you actually get a lot of interesting angles LOL... good study of pose-to-pose relationships too, actually..

2) Practice dynamically. If you can develop the eye to figure out where your drawings are lacking, you can practice with those weaknesses in mind. If you realize you don’t really understand the structure of a foot or the back of the head or the back when it’s arched, look up references and practice those things specifically. Sometimes it’s not in the specifics but the general - if you realize you have a hard time proportioning out the figure, draw guides for yourself and set goals to draw proportions before details. Stuff like that.

3) Box Trick. This is just the simplest way to get a set of guidelines down for perspective on the human body the same way you put down guidelines to figure out where the eyes sit on the head LOL.

but here’s something to keep in mind regardless: perspective is a game. You’re tricking the eye into thinking something is close or far when actually its just sitting on the same 2D plane as everything else. You can do the math and make all the guides you want but at the end of the day its either going to look convincing or its not. And being convincing is a lot less about being accurate and a lot more about confidently selling your point. So don’t sweat the calculations of proportions, make hands or heads or feet as big as you feel is right and trust your eye and your gut over your brain.

Hi, yeah sure go ahead! As long as you link+credit me, I don’t mind my work being used for non-profit purposes. Especially fanart like.. I don’t even own these characters LOL. Just, if you edit my art, please don’t use it to perpetuate like...hate speech or even edgy politics... unless they are edgy politics I have explicitly endorsed LOL. If you’re ever on the fence abt it feel free to ask, of course!

TYSSMMM yeah ideally I guess its just ? group therapy LOL? I feel like actually Ryuji, Akechi, and Haru are characters we see very rarely interact and when they do they seem very alienated by each other?? So I think it would actually be great for them to chat LOL they have a lot in common especially the fondness for direct action.

VERY NICE THINGS TO SAY TYSMMMMMMMMMM

I guess since I was old enough to hold a crayon? Doesn’t every kid draw? 

But if you mean when I started seriously drawing and trying to get better.. I guess I started carrying a sketchbook when I was 12-13 years old and I’m turning 25 in a couple days so it’s been 12-13 years about. I don’t believe that years have any huge bearing on art progress though. You can be drawing for 50 years without ever deepening or widening your skill set, if you stick to the same old patterns day in and day out. Similarly an artist who is proactive with learning new skills and targeting their weaknesses can improve in leaps and bounds in a matter of weeks.

The style I currently use for painting, I only really started using.... about 3 years ago? When I was a senior in college.

but i wouldn’t say I’ve “““mastered”““ it and I doubt I really ever will because I don’t think that’s the point... I’m constantly changing things depending on how I want a painting to look or the way I want it to feel... or how I feel on any given day LOL

the thing about art style is I don’t think it’s actually something you have to work on or “find”. An artist should change the way they draw depending on the subjects or techniques they want to explore. If I wanted to convey comedy, I’d draw characters differently from how I would if I wanted to portray drama. And if I wanted to focus on lighting I’d paint differently from how I would if I wanted to focus on the details of the human form. When I was drawing a lot of digimon fanart earlier this year I drew differently from how I’m drawing now while putting out a lot of persona 5 fanart LOL - even when the content is similar the characters have different gestures and different tone that I convey through any number of things, proportion, rendering, edge definition, color range, etc etc.

as you experiment with techniques and approaches undoubtedly there’ll be some you’re naturally better at or more interested in than others. and i think that’s what a person’s “art style” really is, the stuff that you gravitate to and come back to over and over even as you transform and explore.

not sure if that makes sense but.. that’s my two cents, anyway.

yea hit me uppp dude isellhotdogs@gmail.com lmk what you want and I’ll give you a quote

[ishouldreallybeelsewhere]

okay so that loki video essay thing was going well, and then like a day into writing it i lost the hyperfixation so it's never gonna be finished. i still think it's alright, completely unedited, entirely a train of thought, i hope you like commas and pacific rim, it's only 2.8k

btw if something doesn't make sense, i was writing this while watching some video essays, and also haven't read it

Introduction

Loki is a show, well you know that, but a show that does everything right, until it doesn’t (crazy, I know). If you’re here, I assume you’ll already know a fair bit about it, but if you don’t, here’s a quick refresher. Spoilers for everything MCU.

Loki begins in 2012, technically, just after the Avengers go back through time from Endgame to meet themselves and grab the infinity stones. Unfortunately, the plan goes awri, and Loki ends up in possession of the Tesseract, the mind stone. With this, he teleports to a desert in [a place] and is quickly arrested and apprehended by the Time Keepers for ‘Crimes Against the Sacred Timeline.’ Sounds a bit cult-y if you ask me, and given that you’re stuck here, you will ask me. Essentially, his actions (taking the tesseract) were not supposed to happen. They created a branch, a new timeline, and, according to the TVA, if left unchecked, the timeline could cause a multiversal war that would result in the end of time. This is, to put it simply, a very interesting premise, and the first two episodes do a wonderful job of exploring the TVA and searching for the mysterious Loki variant who causes chaos and mischief, all while evading the time cops.

What is the TVA? Well, it’s the Time Variance Authority, which clears up nothing to those who haven’t seen the show. I would let a clip explaining it play, but I think I’d get a copyright strike, even though I’m fairly sure it’s within fair use. Regardless, the TVA is an organisation supposedly created by the Time Keepers, space lizards who brought together all of time into a singular sacred timeline. Had they not done this, time itself would have ended, how they did this is unexplained, and likely either impossible, or they are greater than gods in their power. Loki is immediately doubtful, but can’t deny that they must hold some power, because not only does his magic not work in the TVA, but infinity stones are useless too. Time is also stranger there too, more an idea as opposed to a set part of their reality. Many theorise that they reside within the quantum realm, which makes sense, as that is how one travels through time, at least in the marvel universe, but we can’t be sure until we get an explanation. Of course, I’m writing this long before I’ll see the finale, so who knows, perhaps I’ll have to rewrite it.

Now I’ve said all that without explaining what the TVA actually does. It’s pretty simple, similar to Stephen Hawking’s (???) ideas of the multiverse, every decision you make has the ability to make another timeline, one that is not part of the sacred way of time, and therefore must be pruned by the TVA before it grows enough to cause another multiversal war, despite multiverses being well-established in the MCU, but I know that’s different. Or perhaps the Time Keepers are lying (spoiler, they are, just not exactly in that way). Anyway, when someone makes a decision or takes an action that creates a new timeline, the TVA arrives. Minutemen arrest the ‘Variant’ responsible, despite their lack of intentional crime, and prune the new timeline, which we are told destroys it. Then Variants must stand trial for their crimes, in which they can either plead guilty or not, but really, that doesn’t make much difference, as they’re unable to make a case, let alone get away as innocent. Before they reach the court, however, Variants are dressed in TVA jumpsuits, have to sign off every word they’ve ever said, and a snapshot of their temporal aura is taken, for some reason. Yeah, it’s not really ever explained why they have to go through all that, like, why don’t they just prune them all, or just send them straight to court. It seems like they’re putting on a big show for nothing. Of course, if you have to go through all that, you probably won’t have time to think about the whys of your situation, which I’m sure the TVA uses to their advantage.

Now, we’re heading into real spoiler-y stuff, just in case anyone here hasn't watched episode three. If you haven’t, why are you here? Go, finish the whole series, and then come back. Alrighty. Now that everyone’s seen it all (apart from me at this point) we can continue.

Everyone working at the TVA is a Variant, and they don’t know it. The Time Keepers are said to have created everything within the TVA, every analyst, Minuteman, and whatever the other roles are. But that’s not true. They’re all variants who’ve been taken from their own timelines and had their memories wiped. This gives an explanation for the courtrooms, and the process to get into them. Robots will be melted from the inside out if they go through the temporal aura machine thingy, and I have a feeling it’s harder to reset a robot’s memories. Living beings are let through, and their actions in the courtroom could give a good overview of their strengths and intelligence, so it can be decided whether they’ll be pruned or ‘reset’ which we are told is killed, but with the information of them all being variants now available, is more likely having all their memories hidden, replaced with the idea that they’ve been at the TVA their whole lives, and that they were created by the timekeepers. Though why would space lizards create workers in the image of humans instead of like their own lizard-y selves. The TVA as a whole, as we are introduced to it, feels very cult-y. Things such as the videos Variants are shown upon being arrested, the whole ‘Sacred Timeline’ thing, the Time Keepers being viewed as almost gods, and that when one of the TVA’s own minutemen is told the truth (C-20) she is, well, removed. The TVA views Variants as criminals of the highest order. How dare they violate the sacred timeline?!!? Only, no variant knew that what they were doing was wrong, or that it even mattered, but if you’re late to work on a day where you weren’t supposed to be, then you’re removed from your timeline and charged. The sentence? Essentially death, or removal of all your memories and being lied to about everything, which might be worse depending on your stance on that kind of thing.

Anyway, the minutemen themselves are another issue that the TVA has. They respond with violence at every available opportunity, like when a young french child from the 1500s walks into a church, the first thing a minuteman does is reach for his weapon. This is also the scene where we’re introduced to my favourite character, Mobius, but more on him later. For now, I need to stay on track and keep in mind this part of the view has to remain consistent. All I can think of are the nerds I split. It seems I have an inability to stay on topic, however, I’m gonna try so you have fun keeping up with that.

Loki stood trial for crimes against the Sacred Timeline and, like any logical person may in that situation, relentlessly questions the validity of his conviction. The answers he’s provided with he just,, kind of,, disagrees with, which is fair. The concept of the TVA and the sacred timeline as a whole is absurd to him, as who would a god serve?

Part one: Glorious Purpose

Loki, in his own words, it ‘Burdened With Glorious Purpose.’ I’m so glad no one but me is gonna read this draft cuz I managed to spell many of those words wrong. His glorious purpose, in his eyes, is becoming the ruler of all, removing free will and choice from those beneath him, in a twisted attempt to make it easy for all living things. He believes in free will, at least, the free will of himself, and also believes that, out of everyone in the universe, he is the one who is right, the one who can make the world better, that is his burden. Now, you may look at that and think, ‘hey, for a god of mischief, that doesn’t seem very mischievous,’ and you’d be right. It isn’t. He’s evil, like, without a doubt, an evil person in his ideals and views of the universe, however, the change from mischief to villainy was rapid, as it’s shown that he was D.B. Cooper, and, when asked, said it was because he was ‘young and lost a bet to Thor’, which, like, okay, but that was the 60s or something. 50 years aren’t a lot in the face of 1,500, but a lot can happen then

Part something: ethics

So, as you’ve probably gathered by now, I’m a pretentious asshole, and with that comes three years of philosophy classes and a superiority complex, though perhaps that comes from the whole leftist thing. Anyway, as per usual, I got sidetracked. I’m watching a really good video atm, so lots of things are happening in my head right now. Back to being pretentious, I’m going to be talking about ethics, fun, and how that relates to the TVA, the sacred timeline, Kang, sorry, he who remains. Regarding the whole Kang thing, I haven’t read a single Marvel comic since I was a member of the comic book club 4(???) years ago. Gods, I’m so old. Yup Percy Jackson took up too much of my childhood. Sidetracked again! I apologise, anyway, everything I know about Kang the Conqueror comes from Tumblr, so I’m not going to spend any time talking about any parts of the character that aren’t shown in the show. I really want to be writing about Doctor Who right now but I have my notes up so I’m gonna do this. Okay, right. Ethics. I hope I don’t go into free will right now because I will never stop going on about that. Anyway, let's look at the TVA, ignoring Kang, not for simplicity, but to see if the ends do in fact justify the means as Mobius said. And by that I mean, if what employees of the TVA think is true, are their actions justified? Finally got to the point, after how many words? Too many, anyway, let’s start from the start (kinda).

In an actual, proper, organised essay, I think that whole last paragraph was supposed to be 1 (one) sentence long, maybe. I have been writing year nine level essays for many years, despite not being in year nine for many, many years, so, be glad you’re reading something I’m interested in. Back to the topic at hand, please. Sorry I just got distracted again. I shouldn’t have Tumblr open atm. Anyway, what are the TVA’s means? So, I’ve already explained what the TVA is, and what it does, but let’s use a fun example to show what they really do. Imagine you’re a kid (or maybe you are a kid, so imagine you’re a younger one) and you just got home from school. You just made an awesome new friend who believes in you and loves your art. This sparks your interest in art, leading to countless pieces, days and days spent drawing and painting and having a great time. Your art begins to take hold on the world, speaking to people, letting them believe in themselves, thousands upon thousands of people inspired to start their own art, to rebel against the system of capitalism and teach people that there’s more to life than a job. This begins the global radicalisation of the working class, and with that, rebellion and the downfall of capitalism. I’m in a good mood rn, feeling optimistic, so don’t worry about what’s happening. Anyway, with the downfall of human exploitation and eradication of poverty comes a branch in the Sacred Timeline, and as the root of it is you as a child making a friend, your 5-year-old self just committed a crime that, according to the TVA, is worthy of what they believe to be actual death, like, being pruned.

Now, this was a very umm, off-the-top-of-my-head example, and entirely makes no sense, but give me two seconds and I’ll remember my original point. Right. The risk of allowing the downfall of capitalism is the end of all time. Always. Maybe? But, in the eyes of the TVA, kidnapping a 5-year-old, putting them through a dehumanising process to be shoved in a courtroom and being accused of crimes against the sacred timeline, and what was the crime? Making a goddamn friend. As a child. Being supported in art. Doing what you enjoy, destroying oppressive systems that will eventually be the downfall of us all and so entwined with all the problems in the world that any chance of saving it revolves around its deconstruction. I’ve been hunched over too long and my back is really starting to hurt, but the essay must go on. And remember, the domino effect of that friendship never actually happened. The timeline was pruned before it could happen, so the crime is literally making a friend. Very extreme example sorry, but shock makes your point go across faster, and also sparks outrage, which I don’t want to happen, but with doing literally anything comes backlash, like stepping on the wrong leaf, or a butterfly. I hope you guys know that this is unplanned and probably unedited. Okay I need to watch Pacific Rim again. Okay imagine now they kill the child. Right. That’s likely what would happen. Children are weak (usually, Sylvie is just on another level of awesome) [author’s note, Crimson Peak is a horror movie and I’m very upset by that cuz now I won’t be able to watch it]. Alright, so, kill a child, or destroy all of time. Always. Maybe. The way we see the TVA in the first two episodes is through Loki’s eyes, as a cult-like lie with a cool retro/futuristic aesthetic (like Doctor Who, but more on that later). I have been sitting here for 4 hours and I can confidently say my cat is an asshole whose sole purpose in life is to want to come in right when I’m in the middle of a point only to not want to come in but allow me to lose exactly what I was about to say, meaning I’ve gotten next to nothing done. Hi, I'm back. I got distracted by My Little Pony and Pacific Rim. And checkers. Issues with pacing? I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Okay, so, I’m going to say something possibly controversial. When the stakes are the endings of the entirety of time, it’s okay to let a child die, and technically they might not die they’d just be sent to be either devoured the void or saved by a ragtag team of loki variants. Which is not great. That might sound like I agree with the TVA, but trust me, I do not. Not in the slightest. I hate the slimy bastards. (I do love every single character though, like all of them are awesome) The prickly pricks will bury us all!!! I don’t agree with them because I think there is a better way to handle the multiversal problem and the issue that arises regarding the particular cause of the multiversal war. That made no sense. You’re really just gonna have to guess at this point, however, for the solution, we must look into the finale and the reasoning behind He Who Remains’ plan. I said I wasn’t going to talk about him, but I lied (rule number one). Basically, from what I understood of his plan (which wasn’t much, I’m pretty stupid) was that there were two options; option number one was to leave him there, looking over all of time, preventing free will, so that the infinite variants of him that would come from timelines wouldn’t once again attempt to conquer all of the timelines (though if there are infinite ones, how would that work? Just kidding, you’re not allowed to question this). He dictates all. There’s no such thing as free will, and if you dare veer off the path, you will be pruned, and your timeline destroyed. His plan is to hand that power over to Loki and Sylvie, because he’s getting old and has lived long enough. The other option (and the one that’s taken in the show) is to allow Sylvie to kill He Who Remains and let the multiverse unfold, allow free will and chaos to reign, with the possibility and established likelihood of the destruction of time itself. Now, just putting this out here, what if there was a third option? My proposition is based of knowing next to nothing and not having seen Loki in a while, and that is,

[tomspancakes]

This Way: Part 2

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress! reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: none

Summary: Yours and Tom’s past come in bringing a bit of tension.

Part 1

A/N: AHH I’m so glad people liked part 1! I don’t have a set schedule for posting bc I still have school atm, but I’m gonna try to stay consistent, cause writing this is so fun :))) If you have any suggestions of improvement for my writing or if you’re enjoying this please lmk! If you want to be added to the tag list don’t hesitate to ask! Enjoy Part 2 <3

“Harry, oh my god that was so awkward. I hated that, it will replay in my head for the next week.” You groaned flopping on his bed. “I am a bad bitch I’m fine, I’m fine” you reminded yourself.

He laughed at you and sat next to you, “You are a bad bitch. And yes that was painfully awkward, I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks for pulling me away though. Not gonna lie, I felt like Allana was plotting something in her head when she saw me. Did you get any vibe that she didn’t seem happy?” You asked, nervous.

“Eh wouldn’t be surprised if she wasn’t happy, she bosses Tom around. She tried to use me as her photographer once, but I was busy and couldn’t, but she somehow made Tom clear my schedule so that I could take pictures of her. I do not trust her in all honesty, so her plotting something wouldn’t be new..” You gasped at the story. 

“Dang I will not get in her way then…” Harry laughed and asked, “What do you feel like eating tonight, love?” 

“Uhmmm, oh I haven’t had nandos since the last time I was here.” You said and he nodded.

-

After the Nandos was dropped off at the house you all gathered around the table. 

“I think I can make food like Nandos.” Harrison said and everyone started laughing, “Hey I seriously think I can. Just watch.” 

“I think you can too, Harrison, I’ll be your sous chef if you want.” He smiled at your encouragement and stuck his tongue out at everyone else and Allana rolled her eyes. Oof. “Tommy, do you have spinach? I have a photoshoot tomorrow because one of the models cancelled. I can’t eat the side dishes. I’ll make myself a salad or something.” Allana said.

Harry scoffed and joked, “We don’t have rabbit food here, love.” Tuwaine and Harrison laughed, but you felt bad they were ganging up on her.

“Hey don’t make fun of her. It’s harder for us girls to stay fit whereas you boys can eat like shit and still be fit.” You said to the boys and Allana looked at you a bit surprised and pleased, “Allana, I think I saw some lettuce in the fridge. I can go grab it for you and a bowl. Gotta start getting used to the things around here anyway.” You smiled at her. 

Her expression went back to being unimpressed, “Uhm no thanks. I’ll just go eat at home, I have to leave in a bit anyway.”  She said and pushed the utensils away. 

“Darling, you need to eat a little something, you haven’t eaten one thing since you’ve gotten here.” Tom said. Your heart clenched a bit when he called her darling. 

“Tommy, god, I said I’d eat later. Don’t you ever listen?” She said everyone stared in silence until Harrison broke it, “Someone’s a little hangry…” 

“Harrison shut up!” Tom said snapping his head toward Haz.

Allana was turning red, “That’s it! I’m tired of your friends treating me like this. I’m leaving, Tommy, will you come with me?” Tom got up and glared at Harrison as he helped Allana out. 

“As if she doesn’t treat us badly.” Tuwaine said, rolling his eyes, Harry and Harrison nodding in response.

“Ok, but I still felt bad for her. That was a little uncalled for guys.” You said continuing to eat. 

“Y/n, she literally shot you down when you were trying to be helpful.” Harrison stated.

“Ok true, but I didn’t mind, she seemed to mind when you all ganged up on her.” The boys nodded.

“Not even 3 hours here and you’re already being our mother.” Harry said laughing.

“Oh shut up, you boys love me. I’m just using the bad bitch energy Harry gave me earlier.” You all laughed.

- 

After dinner you and the boys watched funny videos on Harry’s laptop and then headed your separate ways to go to sleep. You did your night routine and pulled on pj shorts and tank top since the boys put the heater on. 

You stirred in bed trying to sleep, but the jet lag got the best of you and you decided to put your clothes in the drawers and closet. Before starting to clean you decided to grab a snack and water.

While waiting for the popcorn to finish popping in the microwave you heard the front door unlock and a tired looking Tom walked in. 

“Tom? Oh my god why’re you getting home now it’s 2 am, you should’ve stayed with Allana. It’s so late!” 

“Oh, y/n? And we were talking then she kicked me out, something about being alone in bed is better for her aura the night before a photoshoot. Why’re you up?” Tom stammered and you scoffed at the story.

“Jet lag. I decided to organize my room, but also wanted a snack.” He nodded sitting in front of you at the counter, “Why don’t you go to sleep now you look like shit.” You joked. He put his hand over his heart pretending to be hurt.

“Tsss ouch, y/n, but I kinda wanted to talk to you. You know, catch up.” He said looking at you with his head resting on his hand now. Your heart sped up and sighed trying to stay calm.

“Alright, what do you wanna know?” You pulled the popcorn out of the microwave and set it between you and Tom. He started eating with you.

“How’re you and Mr. Gavin Leatherwood?” His question surprised you because one; that was a very straightforward question and two; you never confirmed anything/ went public with Gavin except for paps photos of you two holding hands and only Zendaya, your family, and Harry knew and swore not to tell Tom. 

“Uhm we mutually broke up two weeks ago...” You said looking up at Tom fiddling with your fingers. Tom’s eyes widened a bit and he tried to hide his joy, 

“Oh I’m sorry about that y/n.” he said genuinely, “I always thought there was something off about him.” You rolled your eyes getting annoyed thinking back to the past,

“Tom nothing was wrong with him. Like I said it was a mutual break up. He’s a sweet guy, you just never gave him a chance.” You rolled your eyes. He put his arms up in defense,

“Sorry, love, chill. I was trying to make you feel better by implying you deserved better.” You scoffed knowing he was only being half truthful. 

“Mhm sure, we both know that you just hated him.” Tom looked at the bowl of popcorn in defeat. 

“Thanks for sticking up for Allana by the way. I know she doesn’t seem like the nicest person at first, but when you get to know her she’s a sweetheart.”

“Oh ya I bet.” You joked.

“What? ‘Not gonna give her a chance’, love?” He mocked your American accent  and put air quotes in when he said that. You gave him a displeased look,

“Really, Tom? Really? Are seriously going to say that to me when you never stood up for Gavin and was actually the meanest to him?”��

“Oh my god,” he groaned, “it was a joke, love. I see you still get butt hurt easily.” He said putting his head in his hands. That was it,

“Ok good catching up with you Tom. Good night, asshole.” You took the popcorn and water to your room. 

Tom sat there with his eyes never leaving your beautiful figure. He groaned, beating himself up mentally for fucking things up and for checking you out.

-

You woke up around 7 a.m. groaning because jet lag got to you really bad. You changed into leggings and a crop top ready to go on a light jog knowing you wouldn’t go back to sleep. 

When you walked down you saw that Tom fell asleep on the couch. Your heart melted at the sight, but you tried to ignore how cute and cuddly he looked. You were about to walk out, but gave in and decided to put a blanket over Tom. 

“Oh mornin’ y/n, you’re up early,” You heard Harrison as he walked down in shorts and a tshit-shirt, “Going on a run too?” 

“Yup, light one though. I’ve got a lot of work to do today.” You said putting your hair up in a ponytail.

“Sick, I’ll run with you for a bit then.” You smiled and waited outside for him.

When you started running it was a little silent until he spoke, “So did you put that blanket over Tom?” 

“Maybe” you chuckled a bit, it was quiet again.

“Fuck it I’m just gonna say it,” you raised your eyebrow at him, “I shouldn’t be saying thihs, but he hasn’t gotten over you. I think Allana is here just to keep him on his toes. And plus he-” 

“Sorry, Harrison, can we not talk about this now? I’m still trying to forget about my past with him since I’m living in his house and all.” You said breathing hard.

“You know you don’t have to do that. As his best friend I know he’d hate for you to pretend like nothing ever happened between you two.” 

“Alright then, but if something bad happens because of past events I’m blaming you.” You said jokingly and Harrison laughed, “So what are all the things you need to catch me up on, I’ll let you talk now, I already can’t breathe.” Harrison laughed and started updating you on everything.

-

“Wait are you serious? That sounds terrible.” You said, Harrison was telling you how he face planted when he was trying to impress a girl. 

“Oh my god it was so embarrassing, she was so quiet when she helped me up and took her number out of my phone!” You started dying of laughter. 

“I’m so sorry that’s so sad. I can’t help, but to laugh though. She’s missing out though you’re a good looking guy.” He turned red with embarrassment. 

“Aw thanks y/n. Also I can’t believe you ended up running the whole time with me.” You shrugged like it was nothing, but your legs were actually aching. You two stepped into the house to the smell of bacon. 

“Oh hell yeah... wait is that Tom cooking?” Harrison asked, very surprised. 

“Yes, I can cook you div.” Tom said. 

You noticed he changed into sweats and he was shirtless. 

“Bro the last time you cooked was when-”

Tom turned surprised to see you up, you stared at him a bit too long. He cut Haz off before he can spill anymore beans,

“Morning, love, like what you see?” You scoffed,

“Actually no, just waiting for you to burn your nipples or something since your frying bacon without a shirt.” You went to pour a glass of water and as if on cue Tom yelped in pain.

“Fuck, I burned myself.” Tom hissed and you were gonna laugh at him until you saw his side. 

“Oh my god Tom! What the hell how’d you manage to burn your side?” You rushed to his side with an ice pack in a dish towel.

“Haha Tom I thought you said you could cook!” Harrison said dying of laughter.

“Harrison can you go get toothpaste?”

“What the fuck toothpaste?” Harrison and Tom asked at the same time.

“Yes, trust me.” With that Harrison scurried off to get toothpaste.

“Told you being shirtless was a bad idea.” You scolded him.

“You liked it though, don’t deny it,” you pressed the ice pack to his side and he winced, “ouch, love, I was joking.” You giggled a bit at his reaction, 

“How hard is it to find toothpaste? Harrison where are you?” You yelled. You looked back at Tom, seemed like something was on his mind.

“You uh look good, y/n.” He stammered, your face heating up more and your heartbeat quickening,

“Tom don’t.”

“What I can’t say my friend looks good? You told Harrison he’s good looking.” You raised your brow. Was he jealous? How the hell did he hear that from inside?

“You’re something else, Holland. Plus you have a girlfriend, don’t think she’d like to hear you say that. Especially when I’m your ex.” For some reason it pained both of you when you said that.

You sat across from him still waiting for Harrison. Tom nudged your foot with his and said, “Y/n, I wanted to say I was sorry about last night. I was tired and being a complete div.” 

You looked up at him, “It’s alright, sorry for overreacting and walking out.”

“No no you had every right to.” He sighed and was about to continue, but Haz ran in,

“I got the toothpaste!” Harrison said breathless.

“Why the hell did you take so long?” You asked as Harrison handed you the tube and winked at Tom, he rolled his eyes then face palmed.

“Oh my god, Harrison.” Tom groaned. You caught on real quick, Harrison was giving you two alone time. 

“You’re not slick at all Osterfield, you literally suck.” You said as he laughed.

You removed the ice pack from Tom’s side, “Alright, Tom, this is gonna sting a bit.” You warned and spread the paste on his burn he groaned in pain.

“Whoa, Harry cover your innocent eyes!” Tuwaine exclaimed covering his face when he and Harry walked in. 

“Really guys having sex in the kitchen?” Harry said. 

“Oh shut up you dickheads. I burnt myself and y/n is helping me out.” Tom said, still moaning.

“Tom you’re such a baby. Harry we’re no longer best friends anymore.” You stated. Harry laughed as you rolled your eyes. 

“Harrison here to save the day with better bacon than Tom’s bacon!” Harrison sang. Tom slapped Harrison’s leg. You laughed excited for how the next few months would turn out because of how eventful this morning already was.

-

After a very crazy morning and a facetime meeting with your manager you had to go to the table read for the movie you were shooting. Your phone began to ring, it was Harry. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, y/n, I’m really sorry Sam and I are still filming right now. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to pick you up in time to drop you off at your table read. Can you have one of the boys at home take you?” You began to stress a bit, but you knew that Harry was working on something really important to him.

“Yes of course. Let me know how filming goes later!”

“Thanks so much for understanding. I’ll tell you everything when I pick you up for dinner with my family! Bye, love.” You said goodbye and hung up, also completely forgetting about dinner with the Hollands tonight. 

You walked to Harrison’s room and asked, “Hey are you gonna be busy in like the next hour or so?” 

“Sorry, y/n, I’m about to meet up with some friends for lunch. What’d you need?” He asked frantically pacing looking for something. 

“Oh, Harry can’t take me to my tableread anymore, I need a ride.”

“Hmm, oh found it!” Harrison pulled out a watch from his drawer, “Well Tuwaine is leaving with me, so I’m afraid your only options are Tom or the tube.” 

“Really Harrison?” you groaned and he put his hands up in defense, “Ok have fun at lunch.”

You walked over to Tom’s room to see it empty, “He’s outside!” Tuwaine yelled from across Tom’s room. You thanked him and rushed outside to see Tom still shirtless. He was doing push-ups and the toothpaste looked glittery on his right side in the sunlight. His triceps and biceps enlarged every time he pushed his body up.

“You just can’t keep your eyes off me can you, y/n?” He said grunting while finishing his last few reps. You were at a loss for words because he did look really hot at the moment. You blushed and fumbled with your words,

“Oh uh sorry,” He turned and smirked at you, “I need another favor, Harry can’t take me to the tableread and Harrison and Tuwaine are going out for lunch.” He began walking closer to you making your heart skip a beat. What the hell was he doing? “I uh would take myself, but I’ve never driven here before and-” He was inches away from you he reached out and grabbed your shoulder chuckling,

“Alright alright, shut up I’ll take you.” You stared into each other's eyes not breaking eye contact and he reached over to slide the door open wider and he walked past you. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and rolled your eyes, you can’t let him get to you, he has a girlfriend! “We need to go in 45 minutes, thanks, Tom!” you yelled and he held a thumbs up.

-

“Z, I swear I cannot live in this house. Tom is acting like he’s some fuck boy and I swear he really is trying to pull something and he has a girlfriend! Did you know that?” You were rambling

“Uhmmm maybe…” She said awkwardly.

“Z! What the hell? Both you and Harry didn’t tell me.”

“What? Didn't think you’d care, cause you’re a ‘badddd bitchhh’.” You laughed at her mocking you.

“Fine, you and Harry said the exact same thing, weird… anyways what the hell do I do?” You said with your phone between your shoulder and your ear as you looked through your closet for something decent to wear at the Holland house. 

“Well, I think you should just focus on what you're doing right now and focus on your growth. Sis, you just broke up with someone, be free for now. It’s time to focus on you and your work.” Zendaya was right, you needed some time to self evaluate and grow, “But also maybe look super hot tonight at the dinner, you know, take his breath away.” She started laughing.

“Z, no! You just said not to worry about boys and he has a girlfriend…”

“But…” she said, waiting for you to carry on.

“But… ok I’ll dress cute, it’s always fun doing that.” You both laughed and she told you what to wear.

“Ok I’m gonna get ready for the tableread, I’ll text you. Love ya!” You said and she said it back and you guys hung up.

“Y/n can we actually leave in 5 minutes? I want to grab lunch, my treat!” Tom said from down the hall.

“Yeah sure.” You grabbed your purse and a bag with extra clothes. You walked out and ran into Tom with a thump he held your shoulders keeping you steady.

“Oops sorry, love. Was just going to tell you to not forget there’s dinner with my family tonight.”

“Yep, got the extra clothes in here.” You said holding up the bag to show him, he smiled and took his hands off your shoulders to take the bag from you and put it over his shoulder, “I could’ve carried it but thanks, bud.” You patted his shoulder and walked off. Tom’s heart dropped when you called him, “bud.”

-

Tom pulled up to a small cafe that seemed oddly familiar. As soon as he opened the door for you you remembered.

~

Tom brought back a tray with two burgers, fries, and waters. 

“This place has the best burgers in town. Closest thing we have to in-n-out burgers.” he said handing you the second tray. You told Tom you were starting to feel homesick and said he might know how to cheer you up. You smiled taking a huge bite into the burger, Tom looked at you waiting for your reaction, 

“Oh my god. Absolutely amazing!” Your eyes lit up and Tom’s heart jolted at the joy on your face. He continued to watch you eat the burger that was somewhat making you less homesick, “Hey, Holland, it’s rude to stare. Eat your burger before I eat it.” You joked and he laughed while taking a bite. His heart began to race as he debated whether or not he should tell you how he feels, then he thought ‘fuck it’.

“Y/n, darling?” You hummed in response.

Here goes nothing, “I like you, y/n. I have for a while now.”

~

Your thoughts went back to what Zendaya was saying, “don’t worry about boys right now.” You took a deep breath and moved up in the line with Tom. “Tom is that you?” Someone asked from behind the counter. 

“Oh, Ms. Sheila! It’s lovely seeing you again.” He said warmly and she came over to give him a hug.

“It’s been so long, and I see you’ve brought this lovely girl back. Is she your girlfriend now?” You widen your eyes and blush.

“Oh my uh no no. We’re just friends, Ms. Sheila.”

“Isn’t this the girl you confessed your feelings to, dear? Then you never came back after that, well only once and that was still ages ago.” 

“Oh, that was a while ago Ms. Sheila. Tom and I are just friends now.” You said before Tom. 

“Oh well that’s a shame you two would make a lovely couple. Anywho what can I get for you two today?” She asked as you followed her to her side of the counter.

“Two of the usuals please.” Tom asked. She nodded and brought the order out within 5 minutes. 

“Now, Tom, I hope you come back more often. Your brothers still come in every now and then.” Tom smiled and promised Ms. Sheila that he’d come back more. 

“How’d she know what your usual is if you haven’t been here in so long?” You asked as you both walked to a booth. 

“I’d come here to get breakfast with my family on Saturdays and would usually hang out here with my mates after school. This place is really special to me, I’ve made a lot of memories here.” He said picking at his fries, only making it more obvious what memory he was thinking about. You two ate in silence for a while not knowing what to say because of what went down the last time you were both here. 

“Alright, ready to go to set, love?” He asked, you nodded as you finished your last bit of the burger and he ate the last of your fries. You and Tom said goodbye to Ms. Sheila and said you’d come back again soon. 

“Thanks, Tom, I owe you big time.” You said looking at him with a smile.

“No problem, but what for?” He asked, glancing at you then back at the road.

“For the meal, taking me to set, and letting me stay at your lovely house.”

“Oh it’s no big deal. You helped me heal my burn,” he paused and cleared his throat, “Uhm b-besides, Harry literally begged me to let you stay, and I’ll be gone next week to film Uncharted. So I’ll uh be out of your hair” He joked and your heart dropped. Harry told you Tom is the one that suggested you stay at their house. Now you sat there confused about who to believe. Regardless you were definitely going to have a chat with Harry about all of this.

Tag list:  @averyfosterthoughts @thollandx @mrsjeffwittek @panicattheeverywherekid @racewife2004 @greatpizzascissorstaco @witchything @wheelertozier @runway-to-my-aid

[amourology]

I’m glad I could make you feel that way. I hope you know that I do appreciate you and all of your hard work. You are an amazing person and deserve to be told such and that you are appreciated.

I have also spent way too much money on sims and expansions so do not feel bad lol. I think I removed the game right before the snowy escape expansion pack game out, but prior to that I think it had all of the expansion and game packs and most of the stuff packs. 😅 Sims and EA have truly owned me for a while lol. The amount of money I have spent on it is sad.

Also Schat is so freaking cute. I love the dynamics between Kaz and the reader. Kaz would definitely express his feelings in a way where the reader would have no idea what is going on and would think it’s an insult. Oblivious reader and pining Kaz is always so good and you wrote it so well. I also 100% love that you have used real Dutch nicknames. It’s so cool! I know reader doesn’t know what Kaz had said to her, but will you ever tell us? (If not I’m totally fine with that lol I am also just curious).

I know you mainly write healer!reader (which I believe I have previously told you that I love so much. If I haven’t, we’ll I am now lol). Do you picture all of them to happen in the same “universe” for the most part? Like does Belladonna happen in the same universe as Schat? I’m curious if you picture it like that when you write it or not. If they don’t and are separate that totally cool. If they are in the same universe, then I love that as well.

Anyway sorry for the crazy long message that probably has a million typos. I love your writing and think you are incredible. Time for me to go reread Schat 1000 times so it’s even with Belladonna and then continue rereading both lol.

I hope you’ve had a good night/day ans that tomorrow is good as well lol (time zones can suck and my schedule is weird already and so I feel like I barely know what time it is for me let alone other people, and I never want to assume people are in a similar time zone to me lol)

-🗝

🗝 STOP YOURE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY FR ONE DAY I—😭😭😭 you’re literally so sweet idk what i did to deserve u :(

for the sims, i really wanna get snowy escape & the cottage living ones too!! i’m just broke atm lmao so ig i’m gonna have to wait — glad to see im not the only one that spend way too much money on that damned game tho 💀

ahh thank u so much!! and yea i definitely think that the only way for kaz to express his feelings verbally would be when he’s 100% sure the other does not know what tf he’s talking about & i also feel like he’d just?? let them think it’s an insult?? as long as they don’t know how he really feels all is good lmao

and yea the dutch nicknames (or nickname really) felt so weird to write sksks idk mainly bc dutch nicknames make me cringe so hard (someone called me liefje once and it made me want to die 😩) and bc it’s just strange to me to write in dutch lmao like i haven’t done that since i was 13 💀

as for the sentence…i DO have the sentence he said to her written in my drafts & i’ll see if i can maken little blurb with it for u guys when i get over the ick of using my actual language into fics lol but don’t worry you’ll know eventually :)

i think i’m gonna switch between the “universes” for now! idk if it makes sense but schat definitely happened in a different universe than belladonna bc they’re both kind of moments were kaz and y/n realise their feelings for each other — when a fic is in the same “universe” as belladonna i’ll put a “fem!belladonna!reader” as the paring, maybe? idk imma think about how i’m gonna do that bc i do have some ideas planned that do take place in the same “universe”

DONT EVER APOLOGISE FOR LONG MESSAGES!! like ever. i promise i love receiving them, especially if they’re as kind as yours <3

for my timezone, im in CET! what’s yours? (if u don’t mind me asking off) i’ll put it as a little widget thingy in my phone :)

anyways, hope you have a good day 🗝 <3

[tired-college-student-writing]

#WayneAngel: Chapter 2

The Maribat AU by @ozmav and @maribat-archive is all I can think about atm, so enjoy more of this

Summary- After Grayson posts a video on the wrong twitter, Damian feels like he should lose his social media privileges, and possibly his hand. 

Part 1

Part 2 (HERE)

Part 3

______________________________________________________________________

Wayne’s Angel @FashionableInGotham

Thanks for outing my relationship, Dick, now I owe Tim money. 

Marinette paused realizing that no one was going to believe the lone tweet, even as she hit send on the first post of her new twitter account. There were probably a hundred fake accounts popping up already in light of the news. Thousands of theories on her were already flying around the net. 

She probably had a zillion texts from her classmates about the video, but she had taken one look at the group chat and missed calls she had gotten from Alya and turned her phone onto do not disturb. She’d check for texts from her actual friends later. 

She sighed and stuck her head outside, and was only mildly surprised seeing the two middle Wayne boys stilling sitting on the patio. 

“You guys are still out here?” She asked, only for Jason to flip her off and Tim just bleary lifted his head up, having been taking a nap in the sun like a cat.

“Easy boy,” She soothed Jason, “I’ve just come to tell you the kitchen is no longer off-limits, and that Damian is attempting to murder Dick.”

“What did Dickie do?” 

Instead of answering Jason’s question she held up a blue bill between two fingers, “Oh I also owe Tim this,” 

She watched Tim pause mid-yawn and eyes flash to her before his eyes grow large and he cracked up laughing.  

Jason slipped into a cheeky smirk, “No…” 

“Oh yes,” Marinette sighed, “Dick accidentally uploaded the video he took earlier to his public twitter, instead of his private one. #WayneAngel and #MariDami are both trending right now.”  

“The demon spawn might actually succeed in killing him this time,” Tim gasped out, snatching the bill from her.

“Not on Alfred’s birthday, he won’t,” She giggled back before holding up her phone, “Either way, mind helping me enter the celebrity Twitter scene? I feel there’s going to be lots of clean up involved, but I figured the sooner I’m officially introduced the better, but I need someone to confirm I’m me on there.” 

Tim pulled out his phone, “One introduction tweet coming right up.” 

Tim Drake Offical @TJDrake

Thanks, @AFlyingGrayson for fucking up and winning me the bet with on who would out The Demon spawn’s relationship! 

Anyways, Just wanted to introduce @FashionableInGotham as my actual favorite sibling and the Demon spawn’s real, flesh and blood, girlfriend, Marinette.

With the tweet was a picture that Tim had snapped of the three of them chilling on the porch, Marinette perched on the armrest of Tim’s chair as the boy waved the banknote in front of the lens, Jason smirking as he gave the young girl bunny ears. 

It’s a very endearing picture, in her opinion and was ranking in retweets in a heartbeat. Her follower count was climbing from the seven Waynes. Marinette wasn’t going to ask how Tim managed to hack twitter to make the missing Waynes follow her, she really didn’t want to know. 

Plausible Deniability and all that.

The tweet was followed quickly by one from Jason. 

Jason Todd Lives @BestTodd

Yes the brat has a girlfriend

Yes I lost the bet on if he’d follow in Bruce’s footsteps 

Yes that’s my real reaction to her picking me up

Yes she’s is that adorable irl, Proof vvv

Yes @FashionableInGotham is my unofficial baby sister and I will fuck up anyone that upsets her

The picture he attached as proof of her being adorable was of her working on a piece, her tongue sticking out between her teeth as she concentrated. The reds and purple laying in pieces around her as she snipped and sewed them together. Behind her, you could barely make out Tim and Damian arguing on her chaise. 

There was a sudden bang as the patio door was hung open and Dick tumbled through, phone in hand, with Damian still following him, but the knife had been replaced with his sword. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were introducing Marinette on twitter!” The eldest whined as he continued to dodge Damian’s strikes. Damian stilled, turning to his other brothers. 

“You what!” 

Marinette rolled her eyes, “Easy Damian. It was my idea. Get a good image out there before people have too much time to theorize about how I wormed my way into the elusive Waynes.” 

Tim just snorted, “Ah yes, Marinette the masterful gold digger who had no idea she was dating the Damian Wayne for the first two months of their relationship.” 

The other boys laughed as Marinette’s face turned bright red. 

“You promised not to bring that up again,” SHe whined as her boyfriend came up behind her and wrapped an arm around her. 

“You know you love us, Angel,” He mumbled as he pressed a kiss into her hair, pointily ignoring the fake gagging from Jason and Tim. 

“Sooooo” Dick drawled, bringing everyone attention to him, “We have about an hour we need to start dinner, and two before he and B get back. Who’s up for a little twitter QnA?” 

_______________________________________________________________________

 The group chat was too hectic to keep up with anymore, no one was sure what was happening, until Chloe texted each of them individually and offered up a conference room at her family’s hotel for them to gather and go over what was happening. 

She was a little surprised that they all agreed, especially Lila. The gig was up, there wasn’t a way for her to convincingly spin this turn of events, not when the Wayne’s were already rushing to social media to defend the girl after the video accidentally went up, introducing her under a brand new twitter. 

If anyone saw that the blonde was already following said twitter, she’d claim it was to keep up with any drama that unfolded from little miss no one dating a Wayne. 

After all, she had an image to keep up, she couldn’t just... 

“Chloe?” 

Her head snapped up to see Adrian standing in the doorway. 

“How on earth did you get here so fast?” She asked with a raised brow. 

He glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck, “I... might of snuck out...” 

She laughed, “Knew school would be good for you.” 

He grinned sliding into the seat next to her, making her relax. 

Their relationship had been rocky for a while, but after Queen Bee made her official debut, they were working through it. She couldn’t deny the fact that his eyes glowed as she tried her best to be a better person made everything easier

“So have you abandoned your ridiculous high road principle?” She questioned, watching him flinch slightly. 

“You know I didn’t...” 

“Yeah, Yeah,” She sighed waving her hand, knowing it was still a sore spot to him that Marinette had taken the advice so poorly before Chloe stepped up and explained what he had meant. 

Keep your head down, don’t draw attention to yourself. Messages that had been instilled into Adrian for years, both to keep out of the media spotlight and, after his mother disappeared, to stay at of his father's way. Lies had never been an issue to him since rumors were always flying around the model and the people he worked with, so while it took him a while to see that the lies that Lila told were different than those written in the gossip columns and were actually doing harm. 

Let’s just say the boy was still beating himself up for that, even if Marinette forgave him. Sadly it was too late to have Adrian come forward on his own to out Lila without it looking like Marinette had just gotten him under her thumb so they had been waiting for their chance.

Chloe was glad to say that that day had finally come. 

“Did you know Damian was the boy Mari talked about?”  He asked quietly. 

“No,” She sighed, “Luka and Kagami had no idea either, you’d know this if you bothered looking at your phone.” 

He shrugged, leaning over her shoulder, “I left it at home, Dad tracked me last time I snuck out with it.”  

She huffed a laugh handing over the phone so he could see the... colorful texts from the pair. 

“I didn’t know Kagami knew any swears in French,” He confessed after scrolling through the group chat. 

“My money’s on her learning them from Ms. Couffaine,” Chloe offered lazily, “That woman swears like a sailor.” 

“She lives on a boat,” Adrian counters, “I think that qualifies her as a sailor.” 

“Whatever,” 

They lapsed into silence as Adrian clicked over to the entire group chat to see if he could make any sense out of it now that the flow of incoming texts has trickled off. 

“Are you okay?” She suddenly asks making him arch a brow, gazing up from the phone. 

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Your lady is in love with someone else.” 

Adrian smiled softly.

 “I accepted that awhile ago Chlo,” He reminded her, back to the day they were all too close when time ran out, when the five of them could no longer hide, “I’m very happy to be her best friend, plus I’ve been thinking that I might look what the cat can drag-in” 

She groaned, whacking him, “You’re ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.” 

“Like you weren’t wondering if you’d be a good snake charmer.”

She squeaked, swatting him again harder as he fell off his chair with laughter.

“I told you that in confidence, not so you can make stupid puns!” 

“Oh come on Chloe, don’t throw a hissssy hit,” 

“I’m a bee, so buzz off!” 

They stared at each other before breaking down into giggles. 

“I hate you,” She whines through the pearls of laughter. 

“No you don’t,” He waggled his eyebrow making her laugh harder. 

Knowing he won he glanced back at her phone only for his smile to twist into a wicked grin. 

“Tone down the Chat in that grin or people will put it together,” She warned, poking his cheek. 

“Marinette and the Wayne boys just said they’re doing a QnA under #Daminette.”  

Chloe blinked a few times before her smile twisted to match his, “There’s a projector in here and we have about five minutes until anyone else gets here.” 

“I’ll grab your laptop and make sure Plagg and Pollen come down from your room,” Adrian said, climbing to his feet. 

“I’ll call Luka and Kagami and ask them to be prepared, and then get Jean to get refreshments and inform Jagged Stone of what’s happening,” She assigned to herself before he nodded and took off. 

Operation Dethrone Lila was officially underway. 

About fucking time

_______________________________________________________________________

Taglist: @kceedraws @northernbluetongue @starry-bi-sky @mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog @lexysama @vincentvangoose

[painted-crow]

Submission Time #9

Hi, Paint! Thank you so much for letting your inbox available and taking time out of your day to read this <3 I’ll try my best to make it as short as possible, but I do tend to talk too much, so I’m sorry if this turns out a bit long. Also, sorry about my English hehe.

No way, this is really clear and well-written! You've made things easy for me here ^^

Well, guess I’ll start with what I do know sorting wise! I’m a Snake Primary with a Lion model and one thing I’m very aware of about my secondary is a Bird model that I use for basically everything lol. I think my actual secondary burned sometime around my teens and I’ve been living in this model ever since. I like it, it’s very fun and incredibly useful, but doesn’t really feel like me, you know? Getting things done can end up a bit frustrating at times, especially when I’m overthinking everything and making some half-assed planning I'll most likely end up throwing away at some point.

Okay, so leaning towards one of the Improvisational secondaries. Cool :)

When looking at other secondaries tho, I relate to some aspects of them, but not the core thing about them, if it makes any sense. I mean, I understand that as complex humans we won't relate to our sortings 100% all the time, but it seems like the key characteristic is always missing.

Like Lion, for example. I’ve been told I can give some pretty inspirational speeches and a few times after project presentations classmates told me I should probably get into theater or become a coach lmao. I’ve always been a bit of an improviser, too? I don’t tend to think much before presentations, usually there's just a guideline and then I come up with all the nice words on the spot. I seem to be able to do and learn things rather intuitively too, like getting high scores on essays about books I didn’t read or on tests I barely studied for, if at all. And still have no idea how I did that...

Almost certainly an Improvisational secondary, then. Not sure which. Either that or you have two models happening.

But the actual Lion thing, the need for integrity and being myself at all times? I don’t have it. That "inspirational" bit people mention is probably more related to me being rather good with words and voice intonation, it doesn’t necessarily come from a place of genuineness. It does feel more like a performance, I'm actively trying to be entertaining and catch people's attention while explaining the subject. Guess I also prefer to take more indirect approaches to solve problems, rather than charging.

So it sounds like Lion is less of a thing for you. Let's think about Snake instead.

As for Badger, I think there’s at least some performance going on. The thing about getting unprompted confessions and having people randomly asking for favors? Happens pretty often. I consider myself more fluid too, and I relate more to the Badger description of “mirroring” than the Snake thing of becoming someone that’s “charming” for a certain person. Especially because social cues aren’t exactly my forte haha. So it’s easier to go along with and reciprocate whatever vibe the person is giving off. I’m definitely not a community builder tho. Relying on people makes me anxious and I generally feel more comfortable with smaller groups. I would say I'm a caretaker, but that's it.

I don't think Snakes would have a hard time mirroring if they wanted to. A Snake who wants to give off chill vibes can (consciously or subconsciously) just decide to do the Badger mirror thing. And if you do that a lot, then yes, people are going to feel safe around you and you get the random confessions thing.

That's not to say you don't have any Badger, though.

The hardworking and showing up part are definitely tools I’ve used before and it’s what helped me get hired for jobs more than once now. Work ethic is important, but I guess I focus too much on the end results and “work smarter, not harder” is not a philosophy I tend to go against. As long as I can still be efficient and provide good results, I don’t mind taking shortcuts. In fact, it would feel a little selfish to me to keep up a slower, less updated method if I can be more productive and finish things faster by trying something different (really hope I'm not offending anyone by saying this, it's just a personal view).

"Tools" is the word you use, and I know you said you're thinking your secondary is Burned, but it's interesting how neutrally you talk about this. You don't seem emotionally invested in Badger, either as part of your identity or with those complex mixed feelings Burned Houses often have.

Maybe you use Badger sometimes as a performance, but from the sound of it, it doesn't feel like it's yours.

Finally, Snake. The parts where Badgers and Snakes overlap are definitely the ones I relate to the most. But, like Snakes, I don’t need to believe what I’m saying to make it work. I only have to believe I’m being convincing enough haha. The less I think about it, the better.

Hmm. I was already leaning towards Snake for you, but I wonder if "the less I think about it, the better" isn't a leftover habit you have from pushing Snake aside to use Bird. I'm probably reading too much into this.

When I was younger I used to take some pride in being a pretty good "“liar"”, but I don’t know why I started feeling like people can see right through me? That they’ll think I’m always faking everything and can’t be trusted.

Ooh, imposter syndrome. Fun.

So, you used to take pride in this, but you started feeling like you weren't good at using Snake? And you're thinking your old secondary might be Burned.

Anxiety™ definitely doesn’t help with that, however I started wondering if part of it comes from having a very, *very* loud Lion secondary mom and she always expected our relationship to be open and honest. I’m glad I can be like that with her, I even agree that when the matter is important enough, you should be honest and communicate with your loved ones.

So there's a family/community expectation that conflicts with your using Snake...

But when being so open in general isn’t in my nature and I have to force myself to be a little more like her…. Maybe I internalized that being indirect and reserved is inherently bad and I feel guilty when that’s precisely my first instinct.

So, Lion REALLY isn't your thing. I'm very much leaning towards Snake for you.

But as I said, I’m not a people charmer. More like a negotiator, maybe. And reading some Snake secondary statements, it does come across as a little… “extreme” to me. Like having multiple accounts with personas that don’t overlap? I have three atm, with a lot of overlapping, and it already feels overwhelming lmao.

There isn't a set way to use the secondaries. Snake in particular is very adaptable and it's definitely up to you how you use it. The specifics of how other Snakes use their secondary aren't a requirement for you to be one.

"Negotiator" absolutely is a form Snake can have, and if you can identify yourself with a fluid, reactive word like that, then that's a hopeful sign that you're un-Burning.

And the world better watch out when you do... A Snake with a strong Bird model? Hell yes, that's a combination :D

I wrote this trying to sort myself more than anything, but at the end of the day, guess I’m still a bit lost. If I had to pick one… Maybe I’m closer to being a Badger…. A very impatient one, if that's possible.

Aww, hon, your mom just doesn't realize how awesome Snakes can be.

I think you're slowly recovering your Snake, but you're only letting yourself adapt in ways that look Badger, because Badger is safe and socially acceptable. Especially to your family... you said you're a Snake primary and if your mom is Important to you in a loyalties way, you might find that changes how you treat your Houses.

Anyways, I was curious to know what your considerations would be! Once again, thank you so much for taking the time to read all of this mess and commenting on it. Hope you stay safe and have a great week!

This was very articulate and not a mess at all ^^ hope this helps!

-Paint

[notquitetwilight]

Ik I don't engage w u much but I'd just really like to talk to an Irish person....this pandemic is shit and its handled badly by Martin here and I just know that we won't get level 3 in march....I'm really fed up with it, I've graduated into a workplace where no one knows what's going on and there's no support. And to make it worse, beast from the east 2 is on the way so it's Baltic here which makes going for a walk a bit shit.

Do you have any tips or recommendations or even have just a good moan about the pandemic, Ireland style?

It’s feckin disastrous with FF and FG and the turncoat Greens in government tbh. Idk what you’ve graduated in but based on your ask it sounds like possibly something in the medical/science industries??? If that is the case I can’t imagine how hard it is rn bc the Irish govt’s lack of support there is evident at the best of times, never mind in a feckin pandemic 🥴 Don’t be shy to DM me off anon if you ever wanna rant!!!!!!! No pressure tho ofc as I know lots of people prefer anon and that’s why I’ve it enabled 💞

I don’t have any tips bc I feel exactly the same in terms of barely leaving the house both bc of lockdown and the weather, it’s near impossible to get out for walks. Like I’m glad we’re in lockdown bc of how bad the numbers were and I’m hoping they don’t just open back up again like they did the other two times we came out of lockdown bc otherwise we’re just gonna be back in the same boat a few weeks/months later yano? But that doesn’t make living in lockdown any less shite/easier. It’s like groundhog day over and over and the vaccine rollout is so bloody slow??????? I’ve pals in the States who’ve pre-existing conditions and have already had their first dose, meanwhile we’re being told all over 70s, who’ve priority next to frontline workers, probably won’t be done til MAY????? It legit feels like all I’m doing is hearing of people going for tests or dying and life is just on pause at the minute with the vague promise of “it’ll be better soon” but no idea as to when. I’m also job hunting atm and p much every industry’s job market is cat bc of the pandemic but my industry was limited in Ireland beforehand anyway, which was why I emigrated, but then the pandemic made me return home and now I’m stuck here and it feels never-fucking-ending!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃🙃

Generally I’m trying to take it one day at a time and truly just survive. Some days are more productive than others (I’ve a chronic illness too that I’ll be waiting to be seen for for god knows how long again bc of the pandemic so some days I’m dragging myself out of the bed just before noon) and I’m trynna be forgiving with myself but it’s hard. It’s my birthday later this week and as someone with achievement/career anxiety turning another year older while unemployed in an unpromising situation is literally giving me chest pains hskskdkskksf 💀 I’m sorry if I went too negative there but I just kinda wanted to be honest and show you (or anyone else who’s struggling atm) that you’re not alone. We’re all in different circumstances and some people’s are definitely worse than others but the current situation is affecting us all in different and harmful ways and none of us are getting out of it unscathed (well except the rich maybe lol 🙃). So take comfort in the fact that you’re not the only one, but don’t let that diminish/invalidate how you’re feeling, if you get me? We’re allowed to be sad and angry and grieve normal life while doing our part to lessen the grieving of people. 💗