#anyway idk what else to do and I’m already frustrated

[ninelivesart]

I’m having a bit of an artist dilemma and I’m hoping someone might be able to help.

Every year my work does a pumpkin decorating contest (painted, not carved). And the prompt is always “Favorite book character.”

This year I thought it would be fun to do all the main SJM girls. I also bought a pack of acrylic paint pens just for my pumpkin.

However, I usually work digitally and wanted to draw up my designs digitally just to play it safe. Since you can’t really sketch on a pumpkin.

Now I’m stuck trying to figure out how to get the designs onto the pumpkin. Nothing I’ve tried so far has worked. I tried to decoupage the images but they just peeled right off. I then downloaded a paid app that’s supposed to superimpose your images over the camera. Great in theory. Didn’t work out for this particular project.

And now I’m back at square one. I considered the old pencil tracing technique but the designs are just too detailed and I know it won’t come out visible enough to be worth the effort.

The only other thing I’ve thought of is a projector. But since I have no plans to use it for tv, I don’t know what to look for. I still want something relatively affordable. But I’m not looking for something to project big images. The pumpkin is fairly small even for a pumpkin. I know I’ll probably use it for canvases. But I still don’t want to shell out the money for something unless I’m sure it’ll do what I want it to do. And we don’t really have a store here that I can go browse and talk to people.

Also I did consider a home made projector but to get it to do what I need, I’d have to buy so many supplies that I may as well just buy a real one.

So that’s where I’m at. I had this issue last year too and i ended up giving up just because nothing worked out. I’m hoping I can get at least one of these ladies on my pumpkin this year.

If you have any ideas or know of a good projector I can buy, I’d be really grateful.

[wonustars]

𝘋𝘰 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘙𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦 ? (Teaser)

𖦹 pairing: yoon jeonghan x reader 𖦹 wordcount: 15k+ (this teaser: 643 words)

𖦹 genre: enemies to roommates to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut (mdni 18+) (none in this teaser though)

𖦹 summary: your first day at your new university you spill coffee on an unsympathetic asshole. unfortunately for you that unsympathetic asshole becomes your roommate. 𖦹 in other words: you and jeonghan get off on the wrong foot, but through forced proximity and a snow day in due to a storm, you learn that your roommate is more than just the campus playboy.

𖦹 tags: non-idol!au, uni!au, e2l!jeonghanxreader, campusplayboy!jeonghan, roommate!jeonghan, afab!reader, bestfriend!booseoksoon, joshua is jeonghan's accomplice in everything, reader is the only one who knows how to cook, jeonghan is king of the sassy man apocolypse. (more will be added in the full fic) 𖦹 smut tags/warnings will be added in the full post.

𖦹 taglist form. you can also comment or send an ask but the form is preffered! :) thank u

𖦹 note: this jeonghan fic idea has been cooking in my head for a longgggg while now. idk when it'll be out but cosidering i'll have more down time, i'd say by the end of this month? but it really depends so sorry in advance if i take longer than that lol. i've also decided to make a google form for anyone who wants to be added to the tag list (you must be 18+ though, and i will check if your age is in your bio), as well as a permanent one if you'd like! anyways see you all soon! mwah - anna.

Read More Here.

You hate Yoon Jeonghan. The moment you met him, you hated him.

It had taken you about ten seconds to get on his bad side. All it took was a cup of iced coffee and a random bump in the sidewalk. In the blink of an eye, your freshly made latte had become a wet coffee-coloured stain on Jeonghan’s bright white shirt. Mortified, you apologized profusely, not knowing what else to do.

Everything happened so fast, that you didn’t even realize you were tripping and then spilling your drink onto him. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” He spits at you, his eyes cold as ice. 

Your cheeks heat up fast, and you’re stuttering your words all over the place. To say the least, you felt bad, you haven’t even been here for more than 24 hours and you were already fucking up badly. Just a few hours ago you were ready to start fresh, starting a new semester at the University you transferred to from your hometown. 

Looking back up at the man who was currently staring you down, you begin to take napkins out of your bag to wipe his shirt. A yelp escapes your lips once you feel him slap your hand away from his chest. 

“I said what the fuck is your problem?” He repeats himself, the fire in his eyes flaming against the light of the afternoon sun. 

“I’m sorry, I tripped and-” You begin to explain yourself but he cuts you off, not wanting to hear your sorry excuse of an explanation. 

“I don’t care that you tripped, you spilt your drink on me.” He seethes, clenching his jaw as he talks. 

Now you’re equally as pissed as him, you stare at him for a second trying to see if he’s joking because he couldn’t be serious right now. Quickly, you realize that he is indeed not joking, if anything he’s more serious than you were when you told your parents you were moving away. 

“I’m sorry I spilt my drink but it was an honest mistake. It’s a stain, you can wash your shirt.” You scoff at him, unbelievable, you thought. As you roll your eyes, you watch him get red in the face with anger. 

Jeonghan is a lot more frustrated now that you’re giving him attitude, after the fact that you were the one to stain his clothes.  His fists begin to ball at his sides, who does this girl think she is, he asks himself.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve. You can’t just talk to me that way.” It was his turn to scoff at you, this petty fight between the two of you not going anywhere. 

You look him up and down, you could take him in a fight if it came down to it, or at least that's what you like to tell yourself. His body is a lot on the slimmer side, his looks seem to be his only redeeming quality. Long-haired, with long eyelashes, he was a pretty boy, you’ll admit that much. Yet his personality is not in harmony with his looks, and you found it to be quite surprising. How can someone so good-looking be so spiteful? 

“Too bad, I’ve already apologized and tried to make up for my actions. Didn’t Mommy tell you life isn’t always fair?” You mockingly pout up at him as he towers over you. Before Jeonghan could come up with a rebuttal, you walk past him, purposefully knocking your shoulder with his.

“Hey! I wasn’t done with you! You’ll regret this day!” He shouts at your figure as you walk away from the scene. As you walk away you pray to the gods that this is the last you’ll see of the long-haired pretty boy. 

Little did you know, your prayers had done the opposite of what you asked.

© wonustars

𝄒𓏲࣪ . ⩇⩇ 𝄒 𖥻 a/n: my bad all, ik it's another uni au please dont hate me T-T. i promise i'll do something different next time BUTTTT i'm literally only about 1.5k words in but i'm already excited to share it with you all! please look forward to it :)))

[thoughtsforsoob]

Hiii!Can I ask for "arguments with txt" with comfort at the end?

arguments with txt

a/n: I just made like a texts version of this so please check out my last post! I will fulfill this request by making a more long form version about what arguments with them are like/about. (I hate conflict. If people are arguing or fighting in front of me, I will run off or just straight up have a panic attack, it's happened before. trust me. witnessing school fights in hs was not kind to me). I hope this is okay too :) hehe you almost got 2 parts in a way. Please enjoy! I’m currently cleaning out my inbox so idk how fast it’ll get done but I promise im doing my best. Thank you!!!

Yeonjun

Argument’s with him are very uncommon. He often time doesn’t take them very seriously that frustrates you to no end. You and him tend to argue about little things which is surprise because you seem to talk out all of the big things you guys go through. It’s very confusing to say the least. He’ll get upset with you for little things like for example: leaving your dish in the sink for later. It drives him up the wall and it really shouldn’t. His tactics for when he’s upset is to just get away from you and ignore you for an hour or two. you already know his habits so you just leave him be. He’s not really good at admitting he’s wrong or that his behavior was pointless but he knows it in his head. Over time, he’ll stop doing things like this but just give him some time. He’s adjusting to being the both of you in the apartment and not just him.

Soobin

it's so hard to argue with him because he will never want to face your issues head on. he's shy in nature so any conflict makes him nervous and he retreats, avoiding talking about it. he would much rather forgive and forget without say much at all. sometimes, though, it's impossible to forgive and forget without saying anything. when those situations so arise, you have to sit him down and talk to him very calmly. he responds better to this type of conversations. anyways, he is very silent when it comes to arguments as well. you can tell he's upset because his responses are so short and cold. the best way to ask him to talk is just asking him straight but with a very calm voice so as to not make him upset even more.

Beomgyu

I would hare to argue with him. He's so unresponsive when it comes to arguments. The only things he does is sit there and listen to you talk to him about what he's done wrong, roll his eyes with a huff and then just spew out all kinds of meant things. He knows what he's saying but he doesn't;t think it'll affect you in the long wrong. During one argument, you were getting on him about picking up his game remote from the couch and putting them into the little box you bought him for all the cables and remotes to are stored in. you also threw in a little comment about picking his dirty clothes off the bathroom floor and he lost it. he said you were lazy and did the same thing too (leaving your clothes behind). he only realizes what he's done when you start to cry right in front of him. he goes nuts apologizing and will def come to his senses when he sees you this way.

Taehyun

he will sit there at argue with you for hours, upon hours, upon hours. he is not going to back down because he hates being wrong. even if he knows he's wrong, he hates admitting it. he always eventually admits his faults but it takes a while. he is so stubborn and it causes quite a few issues in your relationship. something this causes the both of you to fight over the most silly things ever. one of the silliest ones for example was when you were talking about how much you loved in actor in a movie you had watched he'd recently. he insists that it was someone else and eventually he realizes hes wrong but he hates to say he made a mistake. he gives you silent treatment for a few hours and when that time is up, he goes to look for you and tells you to get ready because you're going to get food with him. he is such a mom when it comes to apologizing (my mom loves to mend our issues with a trip for boba or a trip to target where she buys me snacks or a new shirt or something).

Huening Kai

he is just like soobin in the aspect of a relationship. non-confrontational to the bone. arguments trigger his fight or flight and it frustrates him when arguments run too long. arguments with him are always about him putting himself down or not letting himself rest enough when he is clearly exhausted. thats all. you too can usually talk things out due to your extremely close bond but sometimes things get out of hand and you have to get on his case. it usually starts with him coming home in tears and beyond frustrated. this is almost always because he sat in the practice room and read comments left by mean people. or because ehe was struggling with a new choreography. you try to help him by telling him to wash up and get rest but he completely just blows up on you and tells you to butt out. you leave him alone but he realizes his mistake when he see you on the couch, covered with a blanket, watching tv without him. he sits next to you and apologizes. he is not someone who hates being wrong. if he's wrong, he'll apologize with no hesitation.

[frvnkcastles]

hello my love!!! i was wondering if i could request a fic with a reader who finds it hard to accept affection (even though she loves and craves it), especially in public getting super embarrassed and thinking everyone is staring and judging because why would someone like FRANK be with someone like them??? but frank is just determined at all times to show how much he cares and knows to respect boundaries but also how to push back a little and open the reader up to accepting open affection more. idk if that makes sense? i'm sorry if it doesn't

WITH MY TUNNEL VISION ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: You struggle with affection, but Frank is determined to give it to you.

Warnings: Hurt/comfort, anxiety, feminine nicknames

Word count: 1.3k

Author’s note: I loved this request so much and I was so worried about not doing it justice, but I tried my best!! I hope you like it :)

Even months after you and Frank had more or less officially started dating, you couldn’t believe how lucky you were. He saw himself as someone damaged and broken, but you thought he was the greatest man you had ever gotten to know, and admired him from inside out. He was caring and protective and no doubt easy on the eyes — and most days, you appreciated that wholeheartedly. Some days, you felt insecure. Full of doubt and wonder that he would choose to be with you, and that only heightened whenever you were out in public together.

So, when Curtis and his girlfriend invited you and Frank to a bar for a night out, you were stressed to say the least. You felt completely out of place, like you had no business being by Frank’s side, his arm casually over your shoulders as he laughed at whatever Curtis had just said.

”You okay?” Frank’s deep voice cut through the buzz in your head, and when he ducked down to brush his lips against your forehead, you instinctively dodged — and in an instant, guilt rushed into your system and you could physically feel the air getting awkward. ”Hey, what’s wrong?” Frank added with a frown, unsure where the hesitation was coming from. You had been fine before going out, not a single sign of being mad at him to be seen, and his kisses well-received.

”I’m gonna get another drink”, you evaded the question, and as you turned for the bar, you could feel their eyes on you. That was the feeling you had wanted to avoid — like you were being watched and judged, and here it was, anyway.

You weren’t by yourself for very long. As soon as you were seated by the bar, Frank was following and leaning against the counter to catch your wandering eyes. ”Sweetheart”, he grunted, tilting his head to meet your gaze, ”talk to me.”

Inhaling sharply, you glanced at him before returning your eyes to the bartender mixing your drink. ”You know what’s wrong”, you insisted, but when Frank just stared back at you, you sighed. ”It’s the… affection. Feels weird in public”, you explained further, and with realization dawning on his face, he slowly nodded.

Hell, he hadn’t been the most touchy person, either. But something about you had made it feel safe and secure again, like it was okay for him to be happy and show that to everyone else.

”Baby… ’m sorry, I… shit, yeah, I do remember you mentionin’ that”, he cleared his throat, watching you closely and aching to touch you. ”How come you don’t like it?” Frank wondered with a tone of sincerity, not trying to push your buttons but to understand you better — and as much as you wanted to be frustrated, you understood that.

”I dunno”, you shrugged, but you already knew he wasn’t going to take that for an answer. ”I guess I just feel like people will stare. And—and judge me”, you went on, and with an incredulous chuckle, Frank knitted his eyebrows together.

”Judge you?” he repeated with confusion, and nodding, you drew a generous sip from your drink.

”Yeah, you know, just… you’re… you. And I’m just me. And why would you choose to be with me, right? Everyone can see it. You could do so much better and I swear, if people see you kissing me, they’ll just wonder what you’re doing with me, wasting your time on me”, you rambled, and by the end of your rant, you were flustered and looking around to make sure you hadn’t been too loud. Even now, with Frank only inches away from you, you were sure eyes were on you.

Frank processed your words for a moment. ”Hey, you know that’s total bullshit, right?” he spoke finally, giving you a grave look, his curious smile long gone. ”If anything, people will wonder what a stunner like you is doing with an ugly mug like mine. And even if that were the case, I don’t really fuckin’ care what other people think. You’re my girl, and no one else matters”, he defended you, seething at the mere idea of someone looking at you wrong.

”Did ya see someone starin’? ’Cause you know I’ll fight ’em”, he changed his tone suddenly, glancing around to pinpoint any lurkers, but you quickly placed a calming hand on his forearm.

”I didn’t. It’s just my anxieties, that’s all”, you sighed in defeat, and taking in a breath, Frank turned back to you and nodded.

”And you know it’s all lies, right? Just your head tryna mess with my girl”, he pointed out, and as much as you wanted to justify your fears somehow, you couldn’t help but admit he was right.

”So, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna agree on a safeword that you can use if it gets too much. Until you say it, I’mma dote on you ’til you’re spoiled rotten, ’cause I wanna show you how much I goddamn admire you and I don’t really care who’s around to see”, he proposed, and with a smile curving your lips back up, you stared at him in disbelief — here he was proving yet again that he was everything.

”Deal.”

You tried your very best to tolerate the public displays of affection, because truthfully, you wanted them. You craved his touch and his attention, and behind closed doors, you were hungry for it. So you tried to extend the same courtesy out and about, pushing your own limits because deep down you knew he was right about other people not mattering.

And the greatest part was seeing how happy Frank was. You were the first serious relationship he had found himself in since Maria and it had taken him a long time to relearn how to be in one. But slowly, he had unraveled what worked for him and you, and discovered that he really, really wanted to show his girl off.

So whenever you were out, he made sure to hold your hand or have his arm around your shoulders. Every now and then he would lean in to kiss your forehead or cheek, sometimes even lips, and you were learning how to lean in instead of pull away.

A month later you were back at the same bar with Curt and his girlfriend, on a night when it was especially busy. Frank could tell you were nervous, but trusting in the progress you had made together, he kept you close to him.

”So, things are good?” Curtis queried while Frank was getting you a new drink, and with a beaming smile, you nodded.

”Things are great. He makes me really happy”, you chuckled sheepishly, and just in time, Frank appeared from behind you, handing over your drink.

”Who’s the lucky guy?” he grinned, and softly nudging him, you snorted.

And then, as if it was the most natural thing, you thanked him for the drink by giving him a kiss, and as soon as your lips left his, you could see the amazed stare in his eyes. Immediately, you realized what you had done, and you opened your mouth to say something, but panic washed over you and you were rendered speechless.

”No, no, baby, it’s okay. You did good. You did perfectly”, Frank breathed out, his eyes full of love as he leaned down to cup your cheeks and kiss your nose and jaw and forehead. ”No one’s lookin’, I promise. It’s just you and me, right?” he whispered, resting his forehead against yours.

You caught your breathing and managed a nod, and when you glanced at Curtis and found him preoccupied with his girlfriend, relief washed over you. ”Yeah, it’s okay”, you swallowed when you looked around, confirming that truly, no one cared. No one was judging.

”Love you”, Frank spoke quietly before leaving a kiss right next to your ear, and squeezing his hand, you dropped your head on his shoulder.

”Love you.”

[jisatsuwaifu]

Life is incredibly frustrating, stressful, and exhausting. Everyday I think “it’s okay, it’ll get better, try again tomorrow” but it just keeps proving me wrong. When I think things are getting better and I can finally relax, something else comes along and puts me right back into panic mode. It’s always something, there’s never a break. I never feel safe. All I do is complain about how sad or frustrated I am and I’m sure everyone around me is sick of hearing it. Which is fine, I wouldn’t want to be surrounded by misery when my life is good either or listen to a broken record when there’s much better music to be heard. I am my own responsibility, I shouldn’t rely on others.

My thoughts consume me. Not in a cutesy I’m just a girl cringe kind of way but in a “I need to go to sleep as soon as possible to prevent an accident” because I cannot trust my own head to comfort me but to only make scenarios worse or feed into my paranoia. I am not built to be left alone. I constantly feel like I’m too much and not enough. I’ve never felt more loved but also so alone in all my life. Everything is black and white there is no grey areas with my mind.

I just don’t think anyone knows or understands how thin I’m being stretched and how badly I’d just love for everything to stop and to be able to catch my breath. Just for a day. I’ve cried for help but I don’t think the one person I need help from genuinely hears me. I dont trust many people to begin with. There’s only so much a single person can take before it starts to cripple them. And I know I can be over dramatic and too emotional at times but this genuinely feels like the end, I can’t see past this point in my life. And the sad part is I do not know how I got here. Or this far to begin with. But I am so tired. It’s times like these I wish I had my mom back or even just a family to lean on and seek advice from, but I can’t even entertain my own sister long enough to talk on the phone with me. I don’t understand why I exist or what my purpose is if all I’ve ever been exposed to is pain and abandonment. There’s some aspects of my life that I know I serve a purpose for and want to make proud, I’m trying my hardest for that one thing. I just don’t want to cause anymore damage than I already have. I can’t be like my mother.

I just needed somewhere to vent, some outlet. It won’t change anything. I feel hopeless and empty again. I might just delete everything. I don’t know.

The best I can do right now is try again tomorrow.

( if you read all of this thanks for listening to my rant and I’m sorry I wasted your time when you could have been scrolling onto something cooler like tiddies or anime idk but ty anyways <3 )

[lace-coffin]

Hello! 👋 I have a really weird kinda specific request for Asa. Could you pretty please write headcanons of Asa with a picky eater s/o? But like an emotional picky eater, idk if that makes sense. Personally I have a rlly hard time with motivation to eat, I'm also a picky eater so when someone else eats my food and I run out of my favorites I get really frustrated and emotional because it's hard for me to eat already and eating foods I don't like just make it 10x harder. Idk I'm a crybaby and cry over food lol. Sorry if this is weird or too specific 😅. Anyways I love your writing keep up the good work and have a fantastic day/night!

Hi! Thank you so much for the request! No need to apologise! I love specific requests! I’m also a pretty picky eater due to my autism so ur not alone! I’m so happy u like my writing ah T T have a fantastic night urself!!

Asa Emory x picky eater!Reader

Requests are open!

The restaurant was supposed to be a reward for your good behaviour lately, unfortunately it turned into a nightmare only moments after being seated. Flicking through the menu your heart rate starts to spike, making you feel a little sweaty and out of it. The restaurant is beautiful and lavish but unfortunately that means the menu is more ‘out there’ and doesn’t have any of your safe foods on it…

You don’t want to ruin the reward, it’s a nice restaurant and you’re here to enjoy it with your master. attempting to shovel the anxiety down you order something that you think could be edible to you. Your nervous energy dies down a little as convocation flows between the two of you, laughing along easily and lost in it you almost forget the problem at hand. Until it arrives.

Five minuets pass and you haven’t eaten more than one bite after pushing the meal around your plate with the fork, trying to stall. You try will yourself to take another bite but you can’t do it, your eyes are starting to water and you don’t know what to do, if only you could just buckle down and eat it. Unfortunately that’s not an option, your stomach starting to turn and your breath catching at the idea.

Asa notices you haven’t spoken in a while, he figured you’d just been enjoying the meal until he’d looked up, your face contorted in worry and tears threatening to fall.

“-re you ok? Pet?”

Blinking away your tears you pull yourself back into the moment, only catching the latter half of what your partner said but getting the gist. No use in hiding it now, there’s no way you’re going to finish this meal without crying, and you sure as fuck don’t want to be crying in the middle of the restaurant. You can’t think of anything more mortifying.

Eyes falling away from Asa and back to the plate you take a breath and begin to explain, voice small and apologetic.

“They didn’t have any foods I know I like so uh I ordered something new! I didn’t like it though..” you say, wincing a little.

“I’ve tried my best to eat it but I just..can’t. I promise I’ve tried my hardest and I really want this reward to be good and I love being here with you but it’s stressing me out so bad!” You sniffle again at the end, explaining the issue always makes you emotional again.

“Oh pet” Asa sighs with a fond expression.

“You should’ve said something, it’s really no worry at all, we could’ve gone somewhere else, I won’t take offence.”

You let out an exhale of relief, realistically you knew he wouldn’t be angry with you considering he already knew about your eating difficulties but it still didn’t stop you from panicking.

“Cricket” your owner addresses you again, reaching over the table to hold your hand.

“Would you like to leave and get some takeout? We can go to your favourite, it’s your reward after all.” He smiles softly at you.

Squeezing his hand affectionately you can’t help but grin back.

“I would love that, sir.”

I rlly wanted to do the rest of ur request too so have some extra headcanons on the house lmao

“Come on pet, just one more bite and I promise no more.” Asa coos as he scoops the spoon full of food, bringing it to your lips. The gesture is very sweet but unfortunately you want absolutely nothing less than to have the next bite, the idea nauseating.

-After finding out about the difficulties you have surrounding food he likely keeps multiple packages of your safe food stocked in the house

-always has a food you know you like in the freezer or fridge on standby when trying new foods incase it doesn’t go well

-he’ll never get angry at you if you suddenly go off your food, he’ll either offer to get you something else or make you pinky promise to eat later when you feel better

-has absolutely let you cry it out more than once at the drive through when you find out the thing you’ve been thinking about all day is out of stock

-if you’re finding it hard to eat and he absolutely can’t get you out of bed/move you to eat then he’ll bring the food too you, will happily feed you if you ask or look like you need it, he loves to feel dominant and needed

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey! I really appreciated what you said about minors in “nsfw” ( not the right term but idk how else to word it) spaces. Seeing people constantly throw a curtain over my eyes to try and protect my ‘innocence’ (I guess?) is super frustrating, and makes the guilt and shame I already feel around exploring/expressing my body/sexuality just that much worse. So I truly appreciate you going against that notion!!

Anyway, do you have any advice for someone who’s just started figuring this stuff out? For me, I think a constant thought running through my head is ‘an I doing this right’ specifically in regards to like, romantic/sexual feelings. Are the feelings I’m feeling actually romantic/sexual ones or do I just want to be a person who has romantic/sexual feelings? That kind of stuff

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, and thanks so much again for talking about this kinda stuff!! Your blog has been an amazing resource for me

hey anon,

come in, sit down. grab a glass of water. take a deep breath.

I have great news: it is literally impossible to do any of this wrong. it's all feelings; you can't do feelings wrong! nobody gets to decide what's true about you but you, so whatever you decide on is automatically the right answer. and here's the sickest part: there can be a different right answer every month if you want. every week. hell, you can be one thing in the morning and another in the afternoon. new sexual orientation every hour, if you want. and they'll all be right. this applies to everyone, by the way, you're not special.

I mean, you are. but you're not the only person in control of your own fate this way.

I think maybe instead of stressing about the hypothetical macrolevel questions of Who You Are and What Your Deal Is and all that, maybe it's more helpful to look on the microlevel.

is that person attractive to you? in what way? do you want to spend time with them? how? as part of a group or one on one? what activities do you imagine doing with them? is this someone who you want to be emotionally close to? how do you feel if you imagine yourself in the context of a romantic relationship? what does a romantic relationship mean to you, anyway? what might you want out of that, if you want it at all? how do you feel about the idea of having sex with this person? if it's scared and stressed, don't do that! is it excitement, or at least curiosity? okay, maybe we'll check that out! or maybe not. up to you! do you want romance sound nice but not sex, or sex but not romance? awesome, that's also fine.

oh, what's that? another person? okay. now run through all of these questions again.

hang on, what now? your answers to the questions about the first person have changed based on spending more time with them and getting to know them more? incredible! information gained!

sex and romance can mean whatever you want, man (gender neutral). sometimes you just have to follow the vibes.

[cordeliawhohung]

I saw a reblog of the anonymous ask someone sent you about using character ai, and someone responded saying something about how it’s disgusting to even ask that, which is a liiiitle harsh, but I digress.

The issue here, is that there are more people who don’t understand what AI is doing than people who do understand.

ChatGPT, Open AI, Character AI, Gemini, etc ALL steal from published works on the internet. It cannot be prevented, no one can stop it from happening.

I’m not an artist & I don’t publish my writing, but I do genuinely care about the artists and writers who are having their work stolen and receiving absolutely zero credit.

Please, please, please, do not put someone’s work into AI.

If you want to create a character, or a storyline & use character ai, by all means, go for it. But PLEASE, don’t disrespect or disregard these artists by feeding their work into an AI. It completely diminishes all of the hard work they put into their art.

oh boy, nothing like having a post you made in fucking january suddenly gain a fuck ton of attention lmao.

while i understand where you're coming from, i think you completely missed the main point of my response to that anon.

1: i literally explained that ai steals work to that anon. i said it's a pale imitation of what a real human would write. that it takes works that people put so much effort into and regurgitates it out. i told them not to put stuff into ai. i informed them, and i wasn't rude about it either. emotional, maybe, but i wasn't being rude.

2: the main issue i had with that anon, besides the ai grossness, was the insinuation that i'm not "creating enough content" for them. "the readers can interact more with the characters" comment from them really grinds my gears. even if ai didn't steal from creators, and it wasn't a godawful abomination, them wanting me to put my ideas and works into something that they can interact with that isn't through me completely disregards the entire purpose of me having this blog in the first place. which i ALSO explained to them. why would i want to put my work into a 3rd party source and not interact with my followers when that's literally my favorite part of creating? bonding and talking about the shit i put effort into? i had every right to be upset about that, and so does every other writer.

3: i have no control how people reblog my posts. so idk why you're coming in my inbox about what someone else reblogged, really, just to tell me everything that i've already explained to that anon. i know who you're talking about too, because they're a mutual of mine, and honestly, i agree with them. it's disgusting to suggest someone should put something into a third party source so they don't have to wait for me to "churn out works" or whatever. i know people aren't well informed. which is why i informed them on that post and left it at that. i also explained why it's frustrating to receive asks like that, to hopefully prevent them from doing that again.

also, while i have whoever is reading this, i'd also like to mention that the anon who sent that ai ask sent a response back (that i didn't bother to respond to because i wasn't trying to make this a thing) somewhat apologizing and said they asked me that because other blogs on tumblr were doing it too. don't do that. don't assume that just because some people are doing x thing, that means you can suggest it to someone else. it's rude, and comparing blogs is just frustrating in itself.

anyway. i will not be making this a thing. do not come into my inbox debating the ethics of ai or whatever, as i will simply not entertain it. (:

[decolonize-the-everything]

I’m all for Sherman rn but I think the prev ask had a valid criticism which I noticed too, that she doesn’t elaborate on the policies. I was on the stream for a few hrs, and I asked abt their agriculture policy, like what the plan was to get to what they had on the website, and someone in the chat from her campaign was the one to actually respond with an answer. There were some other policy questions I remember where she was like “read the website” or “contact Tanda”, which some of those were valid w like, trolls and the indigenous land back policy, but I think it’s a valid criticism to say that she should be able to summarize her policy confidently and move on, then if she doesn’t have the answer to the question then say that, maybe say that she’ll get back on it or smth, yk?

I get both sides.

I mean they do tiktoks like....idek how often. They don't do lives a lot.

Y'all seen how many times I answer the same questions over and over. It's exhausting for me. If I could redirect people to my team or my website instead then I would ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And Jasmine Sherman started sobbing near the end and revealed that they're not answering cuz they don't have the spoons. They're busy trying to run the entire campaign and fundraise and file, etc. That with the smaller stuff, like explaining policies already available on their site and YouTube anyway, they trust others to do that labor for them when its required.

And that the people who care about the campaign, will.

So they didn't answer cuz they trusted that someone else would.

This campaign is run based on Jasmines principles and that means saving the more trivial labor to trusted people while still speaking up, and hoping that supporters will be moved enough to propel the campaign along. It means watching a Black person actually have and express boundries, it means watching a Black person do Nothing while someone else does the work for them or saves them from having to do More labor.

It's frustrating yeah that they didn't give answers but I think it's a good wake up call for a lot of us too?

This is what those beliefs look like in practice. Like actually.

I will say I thought it was weird af too the first couple time and maybe someone should say something to them about the way it comes off when you're not aware How Sherman Works.?? Idk.

[floydstruly]

find me in your heart. (I’m in need of your love)

synopsis: vil looks at you with disdain, his bride, the fairest one of all. That’s not right. The title is rightfully his, he’s never liked you anyways..

cw. not proofread!!! cannibalism, mild depictions of violence, blood, yandere themes (????) idk, obsession, death (vil orders a hit on you sorryy), implied body mutilation, no use of (y/n) or any mention of name, google translated french LOL

note! reine des coeurs means queen of hearts

pairing: rook hunt x gn! reader (slight vil x reader but it’s more of a one-sided hate relationship)

“Till death do us part.”

You smile at him and lean into him–the world is watching, you can feel the burden on you. The crowd, nay, the kingdom cheers when you finally seal, what would hopefully, be a long and prosperous bond between their beloved princess and the prince of another, foreign country. You never notice how Vil stares at you with such loathing–even hesitating to kiss you at the altar.

Nor do you ever quite notice how his groomsman–Rook, stared at you, your figure, with such adoration. His face dusted with a light pink whenever you would talk to him, oh, how he longed for a moment longer with you, his lord’s bride.

Perhaps, in the back of his mind, he hoped that you were his instead.

They’re watching you.

No, they’re watching him–the wayward eyes around the ballroom find their way to Rook dancing with you, or rather, an empty shell of what you’ve become. Vil finds his gaze wandering to the pair of you as well, up upon his throne, taking in the bounty of another successful hunt.

Your white dress torn and tattered, a distant memory of what it once was when you were betrothed to Vil, the flowers placed into your chest where your heart once occupied as if it were merely a broach.

Dressed in red, just as the blood that left Rook’s mouth–trickling down his chin and onto your already stained wedding dress. He swallows, savouring the taste of your heart–beautiful, he smiles at the thought, beautiful to him not to anyone else, for who would find beauty in a dead, humiliated queen?

No longer the fairest.

Rook dips your cold body down, your head limply falling back to meet Vil, his expression full of hatred, disgust, disdain for you beyond words. As do the noblemen, when they catch a glance of their drab queen, they quickly turn away–most of them scurry away like little mice until the ballroom is completely devoid of any life.

You, the heartless; Rook, the reaper, and Vil, the immovable monarch.

He gets ready for the banquet. Brushing powder onto his already pale skin. He smooths down his hair, his clothes–not a single hair out of place or a wrinkle to be seen. He huffs, content with his appearance and asks the reflection in his mirror,

“Who is the fairest one of all?”

And, much to Vil’s dismay, the mirror replies back with your image–a soft smile on your flawed face, he grimaces, but that is the same answer that he’s received ever since your betrothal. He pinches the bridge of his noise in annoyance, and snaps his wrist.

“Please, get that.. thing away from me.” He says it as if he is eating something bitter, which in a way, he is. The mirror obliges, fizzling your image away as he falls delicately into the cushion of his seat, still frustrated but never losing his composure–it’s fine, he insists, because you will come to an end today.

He’s absolutely sure of it, his head turns to the window outside–already midnight, he hears the castle bells ring with a low chime, he simply cannot wait for the main event to start.

Rook takes a slow, deep breath and snaps the string back.

The arrow fizzles in the wind, cutting through the air so cleanly–as if it wasn’t even there to begin with and with a sharp snap, it passes into the glass window. It shatters into pieces, blows into your room. The tip of the arrow digs itself into the backboard of the bed, pining some of your hair in place–just barely missing.

To anyone else, they would assume it was but a mere slip of a finger, but of course, with all those years (albeit bitter ones) with Vil and Rook, you knew that the huntsman never missed. He aimed with deadly accuracy, more akin to the grim reaper praying on their next soul to drag to the underworld.

You have to go, quick–scrambling to leave, you forget to even put on shoes, opting instead to allow the glass shards to piece through the skin of your feet. Blood, there's blood, you don’t feel a thing. Your breathing quickens, no longer alone, you feel the eyes of a predator that is rapidly approaching.

Rook shivers when he sees your face glancing up in his general direction, but never quite knowing where he truly was, he must admire your fear up close–to see a prey at their most vulnerable is thrilling, beautiful even.

He will finish this hunt in a most beautiful way, rest assured.

“Where are you going?” His voice is quaint and quiet, his hand by your waist and his other holding your arm up in a waltzing motion. You feel his breath fanning against your neck before you can even react, “Reines des Coeurs.”

You hold your breath, wincing everytime he twirls your body around, dancing among the field of blades that was once your bedroom, the only place you felt at ease. Without the eyes of the kingdom looking up at you, desperate for guidance.

“Allow me one last dance.” An arrow straight to your heart, the last thing you feel is his teeth digging into the flesh of your neck, then there’s red everywhere–very fitting for the queen of hearts.

“What was it you said, Reine des Coeurs? That’s right, till death do us part.”

He can feel your flesh in his mouth. Exhilarating. Never wandering too far, you’ll always be with him in spirit. His, finally.

It was all but quiet, the soft taps of Rook’s heels on the blood-stained ballroom floor intertwined with yours, more dull, more heavy steps. Vil crossed his legs, his eyes fixed on you.

“Have you had your share of fun yet?” Vil asks, his patience wearing thin when he taps the armrest of his throne hurriedly, “it’s well past midnight, I’d like my beauty sleep.”

“Not quite,” Rook answers, “please, allow me one kiss.” he continues to talk to you as if you could respond, your mangled yet beautiful body within his grasp simply beckons him closer and closer, surely, you wouldn’t mind.

And so he kisses you, the taste your blood in his mouth is metallic, yet, he finds is addicting. Forever his, for as long as your spirit wanders the earth, for as long as your heart is inside him, for as long as your blood flows with his.

His.

[cloveroctobers]

SHELTER — E.BUCKLEY | sept. prompts !

A/N: okay I failed myself in saying I wouldn’t fall victim to being in love with Buck…sorry Eddie. I also did say I was going to write for Eddie too in my other sept. prompt but when you do dives on tiktok they always provide the tea/controversy so idk rn lol maybe,,,maybe not! if you catch my drift—it’s giving thee ick. Anyways here’s some fluff! I’ve been binge-watching the show for awhile now ( I occasionally watched it from time to time when it was live on tv) from the beginning and I’m currently half way through season five and don’t want to get to season six just yet since who knows when the next season will be. I’m looking at you companies who feel like it’s okay to take advantage of people :) 🖕🏾

Prompts are from here + I’m using: 22.) Misty morning at the beach + 23.) Cold night cuddles + 29.) Rain storm

WARNINGS: mentions of mental health + hints of SAD, mentions of cults, mentions of death, slight language, protectiveness + fluff.

*GIF AND PHOTO DO NOT BELONG TO ME!

˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾

there was something about September’s that never sat right with Amaryllis, “Lissy.” It always brought nothing but gloom along with dread to her entire being and perhaps it had to do with her upbringing (was it the fact that her father was also born in September?) that set the chemicals off in her brain; even if she didn’t intentionally think about it. It always happened around this time but Lissy knew what it was physically but learned to push it away especially when the disappearance of Maddie came to surface.

And when she returned to Buck’s place spotting the purple bruise that took up a good portion of his eye, she also stuffed this dull feeling further away although it almost always still lingered no matter how much she shooed it away. When she witnessed the harm done to Buck, her instinct was to immediately go after the person who gave that to Buck. Her gut feeling was telling her that this didn’t come from work, of course it could have (being a old fire fighter herself) if things went left on the job but Lissy’s seen enough wounds in her life to know this was blunt force inflicted by someone else.

Her fiancé couldn’t lie for anything, trying his best to dodge her brown eyes and move around the house but once someone brought anguish to her man, a fire bubbled in her chest. She was always ready to protect despite knowing Buck’s impulsive behavior, she was already pointing the finger at someone else. Until she learned it came from Chimney, which made her stand frozen at the top of the steps that led to Buck’s bedroom.

“I’m sorry, who?” Lissy had her eyes in slits, making sure what she heard was right.

Buck peered down at his folded hands as he took a seat on the edge of the bed, “It was Chimney, okay? He found out that I knew more than he did about Maddie and he didn’t take it so well.”

“…I understand being frustrated but taking it out on you is not okay.”

Buck held his head down as he whispered, “Maybe I should have been more vocal about what Maddie was going through…then maybe just maybe my sister would be here right now.”

Lissy bit down on her bottom lip harshly. She also knew about Maddie’s mishap with Jee-Yun when Buck told her one night—just venting and she didn’t say anything to Chimney either, her concern was also just trying to talk to Maddie and check in with her but unfortunately that was not enough. If Chimney knew this would he have taken his anger out on Lissy too? Regardless Lissy was the type of person to always have her guard up with a smile yet she was also good friends with Chimney, he was a great friend but she wouldn’t lie and say she also wasn’t pissed with him right now.

She was just itching to call him up or pull up on him to give him a piece of her mind too. Lissy knew what mountains of pain can do to you and sometimes you don’t react the way that you should, which is why she tried her best to swallow her anger so that she could comfort the man she gets to call her husband some day.

“We don’t know that,” Lissy starts as she steps to Buck to grip his warm face, “because Maddie is going through a dark space and she wants to figure it out on her own, without us, when she doesn’t have to but felt like that was her best option for her and Jee. Sure we absolutely could have mentioned it to Chimney but Maddie is always going to seek help the best way she knows how. That’s just how she is, we know that and it’s not any of our faults or her’s. Life is hard sometimes…even harder when your head is against you opposed to your heart…and I’ll forever stand by the fact that you did not deserve what Howard did. You hear me?”

Buck wouldn’t meet Lissy’s ink colored eyes but she fought to catch his and when his fresh spring rain colored ones met her’s, he held her stare. Her eyes swam with so much determination and care, although he didn’t necessarily believe or agree with what the woman with the simmering auburn hair was saying to him in this moment, he felt how sincere her words were.

She was always going to be by his side, much like his big sister was, even if it was at a distance for a split time.

Maddie’s time.

“I love you Liss,” Buck croaked out, his hands sliding over her hips to lock around the small of her back before pressing his cheek into her stomach.

Her hands cradled the back of his shoulders and the other pressed to the back of his head. She leans down to place a kiss to the top of his deep brown hair, “And I love you back.”

A trip to the east coast was a drastic change in weather and scenery. Buck was originally from the east coast so this felt familiar while Lissy’s roots were in South Carolina. She came up with the idea to go on this trip to just get away from everything, even if it was only for a weekend. Buck was reluctant to go on his trip since he felt like maybe he should be out there with Chimney and his niece searching for Maddie, if he picked up his damn phone that is! Chimney did however when Lissy called him the next night while Buck was in the shower. Although in Buck’s perspective, he just wanted to know where Maddie is and if she was safe. If she left without him or Chimney, then there was a reason for that. That was something he understood although Chimney did not.

“Hello, Amaryllis.” Chimney greeted dryly as he decided to answer that night.

No one’s ever simply called Lissy by her government really—unless you were her wicked deceased father, everyone had nicknames in the 118 family but they both knew this conversation would be serious. Chimney kept the phone ringing for what seemed like forever and Lissy was also prepared to leave a voicemail if needed.

Lissy scoffed, “huh. Howard. so glad you know how to pick up a phone. I have something very simple to tell you so I’ll keep this brief. Don’t you ever put your hands on Buck like that again, or we’re definitely going to have some problems and I don’t want to have a problem with you brother-in-law.”

“Oh, Is that so?”

“That’s what I said, yeah.”

“Imagine if Maddie did what Buck did, how exactly would you feel?”

“I wouldn’t put my hands on another abused woman that’s for damn sure.”

Chimney’s quiet then, “no you probably wouldn’t…but I’m not ready to forgive Buck so tell him to stop trying to reach out and you can also cut the shit with your threats.”

Chimney knows Lissy’s backstory and how much that screwed her brain up, considering they had to pull her in on a case that had to do with cults once in the outskirts of the city.

She had to get into the mind of a cult-leader much like her own father was. That was what really pushed her to seek out help again (the years of dealing with child psychologists would forever be embedded into her brain) and it really wasn’t that long ago that Lissy stopped. After all, maybe she understood Maddie more than she was letting on, although it was different with Maddie being a mother and Lissy handling childhood trauma, she was still the most empathic; which commonly threw others for a loop majority of the time. However Chimney’s anger was blinding everything and he couldn’t be reasonable right now.

Lissy states, “As long as I make myself clear.”

“Well let me make this clear to you, Maddie is the mother of my child, I love her and she deserves to be here with us. She deserves to know that she’s not a terrible person or mother although I’m ticked with her too but Jee-Yun deserves a mother in her life! I can’t just sit on my ass like Buck and let her figure this all out on her own. what kind of man would I be if I wasn’t by her side?”

Lissy talks with experience,“I get that Chimney and we love her too, never stopped. Maddie practically raised Buck so why would you think for one second that he would ever stop loving her? because he chose a different route than you would? He’s her brother. I get that you want to be there but not everyone heals the best or copes well when their loved ones are hovering, especially if they’re afraid to hurt them again.”

“Maddie never hurt anyone! Don’t you get it?!”

More than he would ever know.

“She doesn’t see it that way.”

Chimney snaps, “You seem to have the answers for everything don’t you Amaryllis? do you know where Maddie’s run off to huh? Are you also keeping secrets like your shit stain of a fiancé?”

“I’m telling you to watch how you talk about him,” Lissy deeply exhales her warning as her fingernails dig into the palm of her hand, while she stands at the island counter before carrying on with her phone pressed to her ear, “Buck is still your chosen family and you love him too despite the anger you’re throwing around. I hope you get through that at some point, Howard. Best of luck to you, give Jee my love.”

Her calm demeanor irritated Chimney so he finalizes, “I won’t, so save it.”

And with that the line goes dead.

When she’s off the phone, she’s pinching at the space in between her brows and jumps a bit as she feels hands circle around her waist. She smells Buck’s body wash of Cedarwood, Vetiver, tangerine, and Oud before he presses his chin into her shoulder.

“Everything okay?” he quietly asks, his voice almost soothing that feeling that wants to seep upwards to her brain again.

A small smile stretches onto her full lips as she rests a hand right on top of Buck’s locked ones that are wrapped around her waist, “it will be, baby. What do you think about heading out to Hampton Beach this weekend?”

“Like? New Hampshire?” Buck questions, a slight furrow appearing against his brows, “Not that I wouldn’t love a baecay with you but is now really the best time for that?”

Lissy snorts at the nickname for vacation which lets her know he’s been watching some vlogs again and says, “everyone needs a get away once in awhile. We can discuss it more over dinner…so what are we feeling tonight? Anything except Thai, my stomach needs a break, Ev.”

He raises his hands in surrender as Lissy turns to face him. His eyes scan over her face, noticing the bags on her pretty freckled face that slowly became more prominent. She still looked stunning to him in any state and when she sent him a sweet smile that usually seemed to reach her eyes, he couldn’t tell her no.

“How about Venezuelan?” It was one of her favorites and Buck knew how to compromise in this loving relationship, “and that trip? I’ll really think about it.”

He couldn’t promise but since his mind was always running, he knew he would anyway.

With some persuasion from mainly Bobby and everyone else, that’s how Buck and Lissy were on a flight to “The Switzerland of America!”

Lissy’s not sure how long she’s been awake in the bed post, laying beside Buck, head resting on her tucked hands as she stares out towards the curtain covered window. The hotel was surely giving bed and breakfast with its colonial style and old like furniture but felt charming nonetheless. That’s until the creaking sounded with each movement, more so than at night that had her questioning if there were ghosts watching them sleep which happened to be much louder than Buck’s snoring apparently.

The auburn haired woman completely forgot to put a nose strip on him when they got here while he shuffled around in the bed like he commonly did but after the afternoon flight, they rushed up to their room, shared a shower and went downstairs to the tavern in the late afternoon a little before it closed at five for: one glass of Riesling and a bottle of Heineken for Buck, a cup of chowder on the side that Buck raved about, whereas Lissy personally thought it was bland and steak tips for himself, while Lissy went for the linguini tossed with herb roasted vegetables, which of course Buck teased her for.

“You’re not getting any of my beef, those veggies are not gonna feel you up, babe.” Buck laughed as he stabbed his fork into the steak.

Which wasn’t necessarily true since he had no issue sharing a spoon full of chowder about ten minutes ago before their main dishes came out.

Lissy hummed, disagreeing since she was definitely a pasta loving woman and got filled off carbs pretty quick but decided to taunt the man as she said, “I’ve already had my share earlier in the shower don’t you remember? I think I’ll be just fine.”

Buck stopped chewing to meet Lissy’s wink and had a few flashbacks of what was supposed to be a innocent shower turned not so innocent, “Behave.”

Now it was Saturday morning and she was awake before Buck. Lately she’s been waking up pretty early although she mainly worked the night time shift as a medical examiner, which Buck hated if she stayed over at his place. They hardly got the chance to spend nights together with their hectic schedules. Trust this wasn’t always Lissy’s desired path of careers but ultimately it probably made the most sense. With Lissy’s draining violent and psychological upbringing, she thought she would never see the light of day until she got away from the farm and was placed into an orphanage and then a helpful foster home that ended up wanting to adopt her.

She learned so much throughout her twenty-eight years of life and wanted to provide some sort of comfort to those who have passed on along with those that lost them. She wasn’t able to do that for her own mother who died not long after the birth of her baby sister, granted she was only six but she had to witness it. At least with death on the farm where the cult her father led, they gave each a proper send off.

That always stuck with Amaryllis no matter how twisted it may seem to outsiders.

“What are we doing today?” Buck says with sleep still deep in his tone, pressing his nose into Lissy’ shoulder, breathing her in, as he curls up against her.

It’s seven-nineteen in the morning.

Lissy blinks, “let’s go to the beach.”

“To get our early morning work out in? We didn’t get to go on our walk last night, so hell yeah, let’s go!”

Buck is full of cheers but Lissy let’s out a small laugh.

“I didn’t say all that. We’re on vacation! Who wants to work out on vacation?”

Gym rats, that’s who! Buck was 75% there.

“I’m gonna have alcohol poisoning by how many times you say ‘vacation’ on this trip aren’t I?”

“Oh, Shut up, Ev.”

Buck got used to Lissy appreciating the little things and yeah he found it enduring. Although he initially thought of someplace better than New Hampshire, he still planned on taking her all over the world since she never had that experience. Buck wanted to try his damn hardest to give Lissy the world.

Once upon a time, Lissy had a sheltered life, it was what she was used to and Buck was rebellious and always strived to do what someone told him not to do. They might have not liked it but at least he was able to say he fucking did it no matter the outcome.

Take that how you will.

And he found something special in the woman that lay before him. He wanted to share and see the world with her because there was no one else he wanted or imagined that more with. She made him happy and feel truly understood, always ready to listen to his side first, to be adventurous, and open to loving all that he is. In a way sure she made him nervous at times, since he’s never felt like he could be so raw in relationships before but he didn’t have to question when it came to her.

He guess it was true when they say you know you found the one the day you peer into their eyes long enough.

He’s chuckling before he presses a kiss to her clothed shoulder underneath the sheets, turning over his shoulder to reach for his phone to peer at the time since the alarm clock was turned on a odd angle on Lissy’s side of the bed.

“Eh, I’d rather lay here a little longer first. Let’s get up around seven-thirty or seven-forty five, huh?”

They were both early birds.

“Sure,” Lissy shrugs as Buck gets comfortable throwing his arm over her comforter covered body.

His touch was all she needed to close her eyes.

It was eight fifty when they settled onto the beach which was eight minutes away by car. The plaid blanket Lissy had spread out for them on the sand was just enough as they sat shoulder to shoulder, eyes out on the pale blue-gray waves that spun around on this Misty morning on the beach. Buck had his cup of flat white coffee, which he had to switch with Lissy since his iced coffee was too cold for him now on this sixty-five degree beach. He didn’t even care for coffee like that but he really got accustomed to it once he became a firefighter and it kept him wide-awake during over-time shifts.

“You know? this flat white isn’t too bad. It’s not what you always get right?”

Lissy’s nose crinkles a bit in humor as she sips at the cold iced mocha, which was a little too sweet for her liking but she masked it well, “I asked for extra milk and two sugars just in case.”

“So you knew—wow.” Buck stuck his tongue into his cheek, “You really do love me.”

“Yeah I do and don’t you forget it,” Lissy playfully pointed at the blond who slipped a hand around her back to rub as she leaned into him so he could kiss her temple and provide some warmth back.

And they sunk into each other as they watched the ocean come alive. Normally Buck didn’t mind the ocean but after with what happened with Christopher…the thought of the big body of water did give him a bit of anxiety until therapy gave him some peace. It also helped that he always had the love of his life to steer his mind away from the worries of life…for a little while at least.

The beach was serene and there werent too many people around that lingered yards away; Buck was sure that would be a complete contrast as the town rose to the day despite the gloom the skies brought.

Buck mumbled against Lissy’s hair, “Will you still say the same when I kick your butt at the arcade when it opens later?”

“Thats debatable.”

“I knew it,” Buck shared a laugh with the freckled face woman.

The couple later ventured off to another restaurant on the boardwalk for lunch around eleven thirty, eating lightly since their bellies were slightly full from the coffee before trailing down the boardwalk hand in hand. From souvenir shops where they got dorky but cute matching lounge shirts, to candy stores where Buck had a field day and wanted to take some home for Christopher since he was sure he would eat his share before they boarded the plane on Sunday afternoon, to finally stopping at a jewelry shop where Lissy went crazy buying all sorts of crystals that Buck still had no idea what they even mean. She even bought him a little glass turtle necklace that he just had to proudly wear around for the rest of the evening.

They ended up at the arcade by five pm and it was basically all fun between the two. Of course both wanted to win and it was close but the last game…Lissy had Buck in the end.

Literally and figuratively.

Buck sighs, “Alright fine, what do you want?”

“Kiss my ring first.”

“Oh this ring? The 1.5ct 18k opal stone with Moissanite accents? I don’t think your partner would like that very much.” He’s holding onto her fingers with pride and a smirk.

“Who’s to say he’s the one who gave it to me? Perhaps I’ve made this purchase all on my own, Mr.! Loving yourself first is the true key to finding love in someone else.”

“Well that’s true and I can’t be mad at that…but just curious, did you find that somebody?”

Lissy grins up at Buck as she locks her arms over his shoulders and Buck keeps his hands playfully raised, “I sure did, sugar. I’m looking right at him.”

And Buck seals her words with a kiss, guiding her right by the chin so their lips could meet. Buck can feel the soft tickle of her breath beneath his nose as they held each other in place, before they slowly moved their lips together in sync. His rosy lips were always so soft against her full and sweet ones and Lissy never got tired of kissing Buck. He always held her with so much tenderness and any day in his arms felt like a vacation to her.

When they broke apart, forehead to forehead, her round eyes flicked up to Buck’s awaiting spring floating into summer eyes, “I want the stuffed lobster.”

Buck snorted as he rolls his eyes up to the ceiling a bit, “yeah, of course you do. C’mon then.”

She bounced on her toes, letting her hands slide down from his chest just for him to grip her hand once more, leading her to the counter to claim her gift.

They’re back on the boardwalk with Buck snapping solo pictures of Lissy modeling at ease (along with off guard ones) with the vibrant red lobster and people moving about. It’s around seven with the sky slowly shifting to navy and the puff of clouds remaining gray; the air is still steamy but breezy and the married couple to be realizes their time on the illuminated boardwalk will be cut short as a single raindrop falls to the center of Lissy’s parted hair.

“Hey,” Lissy peeks up at the sky then, while Buck is getting his poses out in the mirror outside with a bucket hat and shades on.

Buck is asking Eddie on FaceTime, “How do I look man?”

“Like an assclown.” Lissy hears as she looks around the boardwalk, noticing that people began to take cover into the nearby stores.

Lissy takes that as a sign and starts, “Ev…”

Just as the rain begins pelting hard against the wooden walkway, giving the indication that it would definitely hurt if they decided to run through it.

“Liss?” Buck calls out as he watches her balance the stuffed lobster in between her thighs then gathered her blown out hair up into claw clip after quickly tying it into a ponytail, “Eddie it’s down pouring. I’ll call you later!”

She steps back into the hard rain, a single arm spread out in her copper sweater, while the other holds her lobster, russet dress underneath twirling a bit with a spin she does, a wide smile spreading out onto her lips as she calls out over the loud water, “let’s go!”

He calls back, “Where to?”

“Anywhere!” She laughs and Buck can’t help but to shake his head as he tosses the hat back on the hook then places the shades onto the near by table.

He runs out to her then, interlacing his soft but strong hand into her own, water saturating both of their faces harshly and he dips his head at Liss before they take off together into the rain storm full of laughter and full of love.

Buck and Lissy couldn’t tell you how long they sat in the rental car but it wasn’t nearly as long as they ran in the rain together. He questioned if it would be weird ordering some delivery service for dinner to arrive at the hotel that had a tavern downstairs but Lissy simply shrugged her shoulders as her drying hair became bigger in its natural state.

Buck left briefly to sit in front of the fireplace outside of the tavern in the lobby which reminded him of his stuffy grandparents living room, waiting on their dinner after yet another lengthy shower. Everything seemed to be more in slow motion, like time was infinite for them both. When their dinner arrived, Buck wasted no time getting back to their charming bedroom to see Lissy sitting cross legged on the bed, still in a robe eating a mud pie that looked real familiar on the menu last night.

“No way are you eating that without me.” Buck comments as he places the bag onto the desk nearby.

Lissy covers her mouth as she tries to chew through the heaviness, “surprise! I’ll share.”

“How nice of you,” Buck laughs as he begins taking the containers of food out just for Lissy to appear behind him holding the dessert up to his lips with a fork.

Buck sighs in contentment, opening his eyes back to see Lissy nodding at him in agreement, “That has no business being that freaking good…you think we can have that as the wedding cake?

Lissy’s chest swells just thinking about the day, although they haven’t set a date yet and Buck talks about the wedding more than she does lately, it still brings her immense joy that someone like Buck would want to do life with her. He was patient and she learned all about his past relationships, which were way more than her’s—which she didn’t judge him for by any means but sometimes she still had to pinch herself to see if this was all real.

“It’s certainly a option, baby.” She runs her fingers over his stubble.

Together they sit back against the bed, Lissy in between Buck’s legs as they eat out of their containers of food, Lissy holding her own in her lap while Buck’s is off to the side of his, the brick wall behind the post bed makes the room chiller but being in each other’s space was all the shelter they need.

Lissy finds herself turning over her shoulder to look at Buck as he’s stuffing his face. When he feels her dark eyes burning into him, he flicks his gaze away from his meal, cheeks full as he sends a boyish laugh her way with a lift of his chin.

“Stop looking at me Mrs. Buck and eat your food.” He says, holding her stare as a single hand gets lost in her much thicker auburn hair.

Lissy laughs, “only if we can have a late night cuddle?”

“Is that not what we’re doing?” Buck asks, sliding his hand to rest back on her thigh.

Lissy shrugs as she faces her meal again, “I’m actually kinda cold.”

“What? Not my woman who likes to keep the thermostat on Antarctica. Wait…are you wearing anything under there?” Buck slides his hand up her torso first but she slaps his hand from lifting the opening of the robe.

She wags her finger in front of Buck’s eyes repeating, “Not uh, eat your food.”

Buck rolls his head around with a groan, “well how am I supposed to eat this if I’m curious now?”

“Just look at Brutus over there.” She points at the stuffed lobster that sits in the desk chair.

Buck pursed his lips after a moment, “My god that thing is ugly.”

“Don’t talk about our son like that!”

“Our what?” Buck side eyed Lissy who fought back a laugh.

“He has feelings.”

“Babe, I don’t know if you know this but that’s a stuffed animal and it doesn’t have emotions.”

“That’s the problem with men, y’all don’t know how to be in touch with your feelings.”

“Now wait a minute,” Buck frowns, “Karen or was it May? Somebody! did tell me I’m a cancer moon or something like that. I think I’m very much in touch with my feelings.”

“Hmm, I’m still in disbelief and think you’re more on the Gemini-Cancer cusp.”

Buck blinks, “yeah…whatever that means but it feels offensive so I think we’re ready for bed now.”

“I didn’t finish my nachos,” Lissy whines as Buck is closing up their containers and moving them elsewhere.

Buck shrugs as he leans back against the pillows still sitting up somewhat and pulls Lissy to rest against his chest, “Too bad. It’s my turn to hold you tonight, you did say you were cold and I don’t want you getting sick.”

Lissy huffs as she nestled her cheek into his chest, “…I won’t complain.”

“I know you won’t,” Buck laughs as he squeezes her shoulder and let’s his other hand rest on her hip.

She leans a kiss on his neck and before she can close her eyes for the night, she spies the light box on his side of the bed. She fears that feeling will come back and settle in like dry cement once they’re both back in Los Angeles but for tonight, she revels in the safety of Buck’s arms.

˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾

Read my October anthology prompts here.

[newcaptainofsquad9]

Was This Vacation a Mistake?~Crazy Rich Asians (Astrid x black! fem! reader) ~Part 3

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 

Summary: After a traumatic night, you decide to stay with Astrid a few nights before you depart back to America. The situation left you angry and terrified, but Astrid proved to be an amazing hostess and a shoulder to cry on.

Word Count:

Warnings: Talk of racism and microaggressions. 

Author’s Note: Here’s part 3 guys! As always tell me how this is going so far and what you like about it. Idk if this is good or not but I really want to finish this series soon. Anyway, hope y’all enjoy.

The cup of tea Astrid offered grew cold in my hands as I sat on her fine couch in the living room, my head against Rachel’s shoulder. Astrid strolled back into the room, returning from putting her son Cassain back to bed. 

“Do you need anything else, Y/N?” Astrid said as she circled the couch and leaned against its back. “Blanket or something, you and Rachel look like you’re about done for the night.”

She wasn’t wrong, my eyes were heavy and Rachel was quiet for a while. Her phone dinged, awakening her from her semi sleepy state.

“Mmh, N-Nick! He’s outside!” she said, eyes and fingers sweeping her phone simultaneously. 

I sat up to the best of my abilities and try not to blink too much with grogginess and stress already pulsing around my temple. Grading papers should have been the move from the beginning; I wasn’t welcome here from the start, people like me weren’t welcome from the start.

“Y/N,” Nick’s caring voice broke me from my thoughts thankfully. He stood in the center of Astrid’s living room with Rachel at his arm, his eyes sparkling  in concern. “First of all, I’m so sorry this happened. Come here.”

Nick pulled me into his arms, nearly making me weep from the contact. His tall frame was soothing, yet I felt terrible because of all that’s happened; this happened because of me. If I stayed home, they wedding would have gone on, Rachel probably wouldn’t have to worry as much as she has to. I wouldn’t be the center in all this, so much pity. It isn’t pity, I should know that, it’s racism. Full blown racism in my face and I can’t fathom it for some reason. I don’t know why. Frustration pooled at me, tears and heat pricked my skin and eyelids.

“Y/N? Are you all right?” Nick asked. He pulled back to pat my elbows. 

Rachel sunk to my side, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “Y/N?”

“I-I’m OK. I-I’m fine, I-I just need a night to, I don’t know, forget all of this,” you said as you leaned into Rachel. “I want to go home though, I’m sorry, guys.”

Nick shook his head. “No, no. In fact, I booked you a ticket home the day after tomorrow. First class of course, my friends stay in style. It’s the least I can do for how uncouth and down right disgusting my family and our associates were. I can even book you the best hotel around here.”

The thought was nice, a little too nice but I had to declined. 

“Sorry, Nick, I don’t think that’d be a great idea. Don’t want to seem out of place again.”

“Would a coastal house work? A short heli ride would get you there in--”

“Nick, I don’t think that’ll help,” Rachel said, cutting him off. “Traveling somewhere that isn’t home won’t help, yeah? Y/N?”

I nodded. Nick’s amazing, I love him but throwing money at everything isn’t going to bring me the comfort he thinks it will. It is endearing though. 

“She can stay here for tonight, tomorrow as well,” Astrid said, speaking up from her position behind the couch, hand smoothing out the plushness of it. “Anything she needs, I’ll be willing to provide, no issue.”

My heart skipped a beat at the offer; Rachel’s trying not to grin from ear to ear, brought me closer by the shoulder to look at me with those brown eyes. They’re still glossy, all authentic for me I know but know she’s using them to her advantage I swear. 

“Astrid sounds like great company, yeah?” she said. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “She’ll look out for you, I promise.”

Nick embraced Astrid prior to turning back to Rachel and I. “Thank you, you don’t know how much this means to me.”

Astrid smiled, it reached her beauty mark, highlighting her face perfectly. How was I going to survive a night in her home? Two nights even. Rachel beamed back as if she heard my mental question, squeezing my shoulders.

“You got this, call us when you feel a little better. OK?”  

I nodded. Rachel and Nick gave me quick hugs, doing the same with Astrid before they left, leaving me alone with her. Alone with Astrid Leong. Alone with my thoughts. Alone with all that’s happened.

“Y/N?” Astrid called.   

Her voice soft, as it was before yet lower, tender. I didn’t want to look at her, didn’t want her pity. I just want to go home already. 

“Y/N?” she called again. I glanced at her, she’s close now, right in front of me; the pity I harped on wasn’t there in her eyes though, hurt and worry, similar to how she seemed at Nick’s grandmother’s house.  

“C-Can I hug you?” she asked, opening her arms a bit. Her mouth twitched in a tiny smile while she hesitated with her movements. “Hugs always put me at ease, I-I want to put you at ease.”

The word ease broke me, almost. Tears pricked at my eyes, Astrid found them as she inched closer. She didn’t hug me though, still gauging my reaction. I nodded and met her in a warm embrace; it eased me as she said: her arms wound around me perfectly, fit me well and the tears slipped. A sob broke through too. Why the fuck am I crying? I was supposed to forget about all of that shit. 

“It’s all right, darling. Let it out, it’s OK,” Astrid whispered. She pulled back to wipe my tears. She nodded to her couch. “Want to sit?”

I nodded, pursed my lips to keep from tasting the salty tears. 

Astrid led me by the hand toward the couch, left some space between us when we got there, still holding onto me. Her touch proved pleasant, more so than it has been before--I was at ease. Her hand wrapped around my own wasn’t a huge deal either. I’m not even sure how long I can last but its working so far.  

“T-Thank you, i-it means a lot, letting me stay here,” I managed to say. Astrid’s thumb rubbed my knuckles a little prior to her pulling it away. 

“It’s nothing you have to thank me for,” she said. “Do you want to talk about it at all?”

This is a safe space I realize, however I’m not completely sure about opening up about these racially charged encounters. Sure, she’s non-white but like Rachel, sometimes it’s difficult bringing these matters up and talking through them. Sometimes I just need to deal with it on my own, then again, I do need to talk it out--somewhat. 

“I-I just expected to tag along with Rachel and for this to be a normal vacation,” I started. “But I got centered, I-I should have known. Anti-blackness is global. I should have thought about it more, researched. I’m a professor for God’s sake, I always tell my students this. Maybe this vacation was a mistake, maybe I should have just stayed home.”

Astrid’s hands flocked to mine again, her eyes glossy once more. “No matter how much research or preparedness you set yourself up for, no one deserves to be harassed or see something like that.”

I nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t think it’s the same. We both experience some fucked shit, I’m sure, you went to schools in England right? Most of those posh white folks, right?”

Astrid giggled at the description. “They were the living embodiment of posh. And you’re right. My experience is not the same but I can tell you about them. Take some of the weight off from today. Will that help?” 

“Yeah,” I said. 

Maybe I said it too quickly. It was her touches and how intense she looked to me: attentiveness deep in her brown eyes, paying all the mind to me, I had to glance to the spotless carpet below. 

“As you know, or maybe you don’t, I’m not sure how much Nick has shared about me, I attended Harvard during university,” Astrid explained. She ceased holding my hands, calming my heart for a bit. “At this time, I was eighteen, away from home with enough money to make my posh peers turn their heads. Unfortunately, my money wasn’t the only thing they noticed.”

Astrid grimaced and I didn’t want her to delve back into anything like that. It’s different yes, but it can still hurt people. Rachel’s told me plenty.

“Astrid, you don’t have to tell me, if it’s too much,” I said. My hand moved on instinct, holding her hand myself. “I-I get it.”

“Darling, it’s fine,” she said. “It’s not the most pleasant story to look back on but it happened. First semester, I was the only Asian girl in my class. There was an Asian boy, but he flocked with the white boys and a grade above me so there wasn’t too much we’d mutually have in common besides our ethnicity. I was Astrid the princess, according to Nick and I wished my white peers saw me as just some spoiled girl. Instead I was Astrid the girl who could grant you a happy ending; Astrid the girl who had to sit up front because her eyes were too slanted. There was worse things but, Y/N, you shouldn’t have to limit yourself because of what history has done. What these systems and institutions have done. Don’t let that stop you.”

She’s right. Astrid’s  absolutely right. The dam broke again at this obvious realization and I’m crying again, trembling and all. 

Astrid just pulled me toward her, embracing me yet again. I feel so stupid.

“I’m sorry,” I sobbed against her shoulder. “I-I don’t mean to do this. I hate feeling like this.” 

“Don’t apologize, it’s OK.”

We stayed like that for a while: Astrid wrapping her arms around my back, my head against her chest, heartbeat nearly lulling me to sleep. Tiny footsteps neared however, along with a few creaks of the floor and staircase. 

“Mommy?” 

Astrid tore herself away to face the child standing in a purple satin sleep shirt and matching pants. His hair askew, face clearly scrunched up from sleep. Cassian. Astrid’s son. I pulled myself further from Astrid, wishing I could sink into the couch altogether. 

“And what are you doing up, sweetie?” Astrid said, grin plastered on her face, not feeling awkward about her son seeing his mother hug a woman he doesn’t know. “You should be in bed.”

Cassian rubbed his eyes with the back of a fist, attention on me while Astrid lifted him up to her lap, showing the boy off to me. 

“Who’s that?” he asked. 

Astrid’s eyes shined, love filling them to the brim as she stared at her son, then to me. I still wanted to disappear; Astrid’s got my heart flipping again and skin set to a scorch. Maybe Rachel had a point, definitely not telling her about all the details of tonight.  

“This is Y/N, Nick and mommy’s friend and our guest for a few nights,” she cooed, kissing Cassian on the forehead. “How about we go settle in bed and give her some space, hmm?”

I waved at the boy awkwardly. He seemed delicate in Astrid’s arms, fluttering his eyes, squishing and yawning as she stood engulfing the boy in tender love. 

“C-Can you read me a story too?” Cassain whined. 

“Of course we can, my love,” Astrid said. She was halfway up the stairs; I couldn’t stop looking at her. She turned back toward me, voice dropping a bit.“I’ll bring you some blankets to get comfortable, darling.”

Astrid’s gone before I can react, off to her motherly duties like the day we met. I’ve talked with her, seen her heart, been catered by her heart and I’m still skeptical about the entire thing. A mother, divorcee and a rich person. Rich rich. Loaded and her actions, her demeanor already triggers me, in a great yet intense way. Is she just being nice? Or is Rachel right? Should I talk to Nick about this? Should I not take this venture? Leave it alone before something drastic occurs again, her family is still old money, old traditions, old systems. Maybe I shouldn’t be looking at a potential straight woman like this? 

The thoughts continued to linger while I sunk deeper into the couch. 

Astrid returned after a while, a set of fancy comforters and covers hulking her arms. “I wish I would have prepared the guest room better but the couch is just as comfortable. Make yourself at home, stretch as much as you’d like, all right?” 

I nodded, laid across the couch and reached up for the covers. Astrid pouted and shook her head. 

“No, no. Let me, I am your hostess after all,” she said as she fluffed up the covers. “I need everyone under my roof safe, sound and more importantly, tucked in.”

My face and heart raced among-est each other each time Astrid placed a layer on me, tucked a cover against my arm and back, patted in place. She’s so close, there’s no way she’s just being nice. 

“Y/N? Are you all right? This didn’t make you uncomfortable, did it?”

I shook my head fervently. “No, this is so much more than I can ask for Thank you.” 

Astrid’s eyes softened. “Not a problem, darling. I hope your dreams are sweet and more pleasant than today.” 

Those words tingled me to my bones, warmed me more than the massive quilt bulking me and allowed sleep to overtake me. 

[icypenguin]

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ It’s not her?

HEY GUYSSSIJHSIHSJOHS im finally uploading heehe ill upload for tomorrow and sunday too :D btw this will take place in modern au! reader is a female (sorry T-T) and i suppose its hurt/comfort so enjoyyy!

note: [f/a]: favourite animal

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

prom was coming soon, everyone was excited ofcourse. you looked at lyney who was poking his lunch food. he looked lost in thoughts which is very odd. “hey lyney? you okay?” you tried talking to him but he didn’t budge. “lyneyyy?” you tried to call out for him again. but no response. “LYNEYYY!” he finally noticed your calling. “huh- oh” he looked at you with a straight face. “hey.. what’s wrong? you seem.. um idk, worried?” you looked at him with worried eyes. he’s never been like this before. “whaaat?! no way! ofcourse i’m not, i’m the brave and charming lyney!” he added a wink at the end. you chuckled at his response but then back to seriousness. “okay okay quit the joke, what’s wrong?” “nothing’s wrong y/n everything is fine!” he forced a smile on his face. you know you can’t really do anything else so you went with the flow.

“fine.. anyway, have you got someone in mind for prom?”. he placed a finger on his chin “mm i guess so…” a grin was added to his face. you didn’t know how to react, worried, glad, happy, sad, frustrated? “OOO who is ittt?!” you tried to act like you were excited but at the bottom of your heart, you were worried. your heart beated fast for him to say his answer. badum badum badum.. “hmmm… i can’t tell youuu! it’s a suprise ofcourse, just wait~” he winked again and now starting to eat his lunch.

you knew this was going to be his answer so you rolled your eyes and acted like you didn’t care. well, you didn’t want to look like you’re desperate for him because you think he’ll probably make fun of you anyway. well, the thought hurts you. “whatever i don’t care anyway” you tried acting cool and stuff. lyney hearing your response, it hurts him. he thought you’ll well- idk? beg for him to reveal the answer. but he’s not ready to say it anyway.

the bell rang, you both got ready to head to class again. “what do you have next?” you asked while you cleaned up your food. “bwiowogwe-“ “what?” you looked at him, his mouth was full of food. he looked like a chipmunk with nuts full in its mouth. you giggled at him, he always got his ways to make you laugh. “lyney! what do you think you’re doing?” you chuckle again. he tried to chew his food down but ofcourse it was tough so he mixed it with some water (idk if u think thats gross or what but u understand right? thats lyney).

after 3 minutes he finally swallowed all of the food in his mouth. “i have biology next” he answered like nothing happened. you chuckled again and smiled “great! we have the same class. now let’s hurry up!” you both quickly ran into the classroom because you were already late 5 minutes.

there you finally arrived and as you open the door, all eyes were on you both. “lyney, y/n, why are you both late? and together?” miss clorinde crossed her arms as she looked at you both. you looked at eachother blushing a bit. “my foot got stuck and y/n had to help me” lyney covered it up confidently. you went with the flow because is they know the truth its well- silly. “alright, if you’re both late again i’ll make you stand on one leg at the front” she declared, then she made a hand sign for you to sit on your desk.

there’s no desk side-by-side thats empty so you decided to sit next to lynette at the corner. lyney sat next to lumine at the middle. through the class, you kept looking at lyney and lumine as they both were passing notes. now, you’re sure he’s asking her out for prom.

the bell rang and you packed your bags. when you looked around, lyney was already gone. ‘oh he’s probably already with lumine’ you thought. but you noticed that he left his notebook in his desk. you searched for him and spotted him in the school garden… with lumine. he was holding a bouquet and a [f/a] plushie in his other hand. you knew he knows your favourite animal, but why give it to lumine? was he playing with you this whole time? was he just using you? the passing notes made sense then.

tears were starting to form in your eyes. you couldn’t hold it anymore and ran to your dorm. you didn’t care whoever was seeing you. your heart was broken. you went to your dorm and huddled up on your bed, letting all the tears out. you looked to the frame on your bedroom with a picture of you and lyney at a carnival together. you threw the picture on the carpet and cried silently. after some minutes lynette, your dorm mate, came in, “y/n?” she knocked on your door. “w-what?!” you continued crying. you didn’t care if lynette sees you crying, she’s been your bestfriend since you were a kid.

lynette opens the door to your room carefully and saw you huddled up on the bed. “oh y/n.. what happened?” she asked you in a worried tone. “i-i saw lyney asking lumine to prom! i mean.. what was i thinking? it’s obvious that lumine is better, smarter, prettier, sweeter, nicer, lovelier-“ “y/n.” lynette looked at you with a straight look. “lyney is waiting for you” “well- he probably wants to talk to me about lumine accepting him” you choked out a sob. “no.. no he doesn’t. please just see him okay?” she wiped the remaining tears from your face. you didn’t know what could possibly convince you to see him but a piece inside you told you to.

so you standed up, not caring if you look bad. and went to the door and as you open it, lyney is there holding the bouquet and the [f/a] plushie that he was holding infront of lumine. you were confused. “in a garden- wait y/n what’s wrong? have you been crying?” lyney got worried as he saw your puffy eyes. “what are you doing lyney? i saw you asking lumine out for prom..” tears were starting to form in your eyes again, and you hate it. they were starting to drop. “w-what y/n it’s not what it looks like. please dont cry” he tried to comfort you. “what do you like it’s not what it looks like?! you clearly asked lumine to prom and i bet she accepted you!” you were starting to cry again. “n-no wait hear me out! it was just a practice. the person i wanted to ask out to prom i-is you. i wanted to make eveyrhting perfect so i ddi a practice with lumine”. after hearing lyney, your tears stopped. “w-wait.. so you weren’t asking her out?” “no, ofcourse not, she likes that childe guy anyway- now may i do my thing?” you felt relieved to hear this.

you chuckled and nodded. “being clever as ever, sitting in a field with a bee. to the sweetest girl ever, will you go to prom with me?” he smirked at the end. you giggled at this and replied “ofcourse! ofcourse ofcourse ofcourse!” you hugged him vigorously and he gave you the bouquet and plushie. “aww you knew my fav animal!” you looked at the [f/a] plushie and the beautiful bouquet. “ofcourse, i’m a loyal one” he grinned. you blushed a bit and hugged him again. “you’re the best lyney” you gave him a supeise kiss on the cheek, now it was his turn to blush. lynette watching from afar, is delighted by the sight.

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

thankyou sooo much for reading! im sorry if its too long hehe… ill post tomorrow and sunday as well. advices are accepted, thankyouuu!

[soullessjack]

fucked up in the club thinking about how absolutely devastating apocalypse world would’ve been for Jack to be in. like this is a whole world being destroyed and ruined and turned into a literal desert of petrified wood and ash, with eternal storms and death and sadness every single day at the hands of something jack is biologically tied into. something that he intrinsically is, alternate universe or not. there’s just no way he can live in this world and not feel inherently guilty because of his heritage.

and as if its not enough for him to be part angel, but he’s also specifically part Archangel, literally on par with the enemy Michael. and Michael knows this! he fucking says so in s14! they’re not family by blood, but by virtue of their power level being equal, as nothing is ever supposed to equal an Archangel besides another Archangel. and what else does he tell Jack? that he’s young, inexperienced at being what he is; too human now to know the full scope of what he will be when he grows older. he will grow older, to live forever, until he eventually outgrows his own humanity, and his empathy for them, and out of thinking he is one of them.

jack doesn’t want to admit that it could be possible. he’s known since joining the fight against Michael that he’s strong and powerful and he knows how to use that power. but again. he’s lived for an entire year in a world ruined by his kind, among people who’ve suffered because of his kind. he’s seen the damage he is truly capable of, and not even that, because he is stronger than Archangels and therefore could literally do worse than what already looks like the worst. and we’ve seen how easily he can spiral if he causes harm or fear or violence unintentionally, how deeply and horribly afraid he is of ever losing control and causing it again, how genuinely angry and frustrated he’s been with himself for it for practically his entire life. how much he’s genuinely hated himself for it.

and for Jack to be stranded in a world that is essentially a reflection of his worst fears, of just how dangerous he could ever become. for him to see and experience the danger he could pose.. man. it’s so absolutely fucked up. but he stays anyways, because stranded yes, but also because it’s like a guilty obligation to help them. to repair something he could potentially rupture. to pick up all the little pieces of something he’s terrified of breaking. idk man it’s just. It’s just.

Can we please please talk about apocalypse world jack or I’m gonna start eating my teeth

[lysol1201]

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving: Holding Out For A Hero

Vendetta!Leon Kennedy x GN!Reader (can be read platonically or romantically)

A second part to Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving, but can be read on its own.

Summary: You see Leon again, but you’re both on the clock.

Word Count: 1201

Genre: erm idk fluff i guess, depending on how you read it

TW: Mentions of drinking, cults, blood, erm fighting, badly written fighting, this is very poorly written imo. i’m tryna get back in the writing groove. anyway, lmk if more, not beta read we die like luis

++++

It had been 6 months since your 30th birthday. You had never heard from Leon since that day. Although a good time, the two of you went your separate ways (play separate ways) without any contact information. There was that mutual understanding that it was the one night you two needed. You didn’t know if you’d ever see Leon again.

Well, until you did.

“Oh, hey!” You greeted the blue eyed man who looked at you in shock and confusion. “Nice to see you again,” You smiled as he ran over to you.

“What the fuck is going on?” Leon shouted. You may have been used to it, but seeing you tied up in a sack with a bloody face and ritual paintings all over, he was very fucking confused.

You chuckled. “How else did you think you found this location?” That’s when it clicked in Leon’s head. Bait. “Oh, they’re coming. You don’t know me,” You spoke with a serious tone, and before he could respond, you began to scream. “Who are you? What are you doing? Get away from me!”

In shock, Leon looked at you as if not sure how to play along. “Fuck,” He muttered under his breath, turning around to find more fucked up people in some sort of cult. He thought he was over it, but turns out the world refused to stop being stupid.

He had his pistol in hand and prepared, raising it up to shoot those who ran at him. While he shot, ducked, and kicked, he realized the amount of those after him just kept growing and growing. He turned around to find you, but to his dismay, you were gone.

Leon wanted to shout for you, but remembered what you had said. “You don’t know me.” He groaned at the words you had told him, but obeyed. He didn’t shout for you. And before he could complain to himself even more, big stomps were heard. He turned to the side, and there he was faced, again, with some giant pain in the ass.

“God, give me a fucking break,” Leon sighed, frustrated, and annoyed by his surroundings. Fear no longer filled him, it was just irritation. “Fuck off, already!” He raised his deep voice, shooting at the large creature headed straight for him, somehow managing to successfully use whoever tried to attack him as some sort of shield for everything thrown at him.

While Leon fought, he looked down quickly at his watch. 11:58 pm. “God fucking damnit Chris, hurry your ass up.” He grumbled, regretting ever choosing to help Chris with this mission. Or, maybe he didn’t.

He saw you again.

Wait a minute. Speaking of you, where the fuck were you?

As soon as that thought popped into his head, a grenade was thrown into the crowd that went after him, blowing up a good chunk of those who were just trying to kill him. Then, right after, something was thrown right at the giant creature. It stuck.

“Leon, run!” He heard the familiar voice. Yours.

“Don’t have to tell me twice!” Leon shouted back, immediately turning around and running before the large explosive went off, tearing the creature to bits, throwing Leon across the platform from the force. The world was hazy for a moment as he tried to keep consciousness, but from the amount of times he had been thrown, he was hard headed.

Soon enough, an arm forcefully lifted him up. “No sleeping on the job, Leon.” The gruff man spoke. Leon felt his senses return, as he turned to face Chris.

“Where are they?” Were the first words Leon mumbled.

Chris furrowed his eyes, opening his mouth to respond, before he was interrupted. “Right here,” Your voice boomed through behind him.

His head quickly quipped back to view you as he called out for you, rushing to tackle you in a hug. “Where the fuck did you go?” Leon asked. His tone couldn’t show if he was worried or pissed, but you could tell it was a bit of both.

“I’ve been to this rodeo before, Leon, you just gotta trust me.”

“You know them?” Chris approached the two, confused, and almost concerned by Leon actually hugging someone.

Leon had let go of you to turn to face Chris. “You know them?” He emphasized the question, directing it back to Chris.

“They’re working on this case with us,” Chris explained, the “us” referring to the BSAA. He walked past Leon and went straight to you. “Do you have it?”

You scoffed. “Of course I do,” You proudly assured, taking a small chip out of your pocket and handing it to Chris. “Should have all the information you need on whoever the guy is you’re after, whatshisname. Josh. Let’s call him Josh.”

“No. Not Josh.”

“But-“

“Another name.”

“Fine… um… Paul.”

Chris only groaned, changing the topic. “Since this area is cleared out, let’s get back to safety. Need to get you two patched up before me and Leon enter the main building.” Chris explained.

“Wait,” Leon quickly turned to Chris. “What about them?”

“Their job is done, they can get patched up and go-“

“No,” Leon blurted out. He wasn’t entirely sure why. “I mean, I just... I…” He tried to find the words. To find the words that wouldn’t embarrass him, make him look like a pathetic fool.

I don’t want them to go. He thought.

You just smiled a bit at him, turning around to walk away. Then, he panicked. “Wait- don’t leave!” He walked over, grabbing your arm to keep you from walking away.

“Woah,” You turned to face Leon. “I’m not leaving?”

Ada. He thought to himself. I can’t let them leave… not like Ada. Not again.

“I- um-“ Suddenly, he felt embarrassed. You’re not Ada. “Nothing, I don’t-“

You could tell something was bothering him. That turmoil in his head that you had seen before in the countless random drunk conversations you two had months ago. You knew when it was time to derail the conversation. “I’ll be getting patched up, and I’m going to be looking out. I finished my job, I’m no longer bait. So, now, I’m just a backup distraction, if need be.” You explained. “So, team, are we ready to party?”

++++

Leon didn’t know how to feel after the mission, on the ride back to safety. He didn’t know how to feel about seeing you battered and bruised, talking to a more battered and bruised Chris. It wasn’t jealousy, no. Of course not. Unless?

“Hey, Leon?” Your voice snapped him out of his trance. “When’s your birthday?”

“What?”

“Well, it’s been 6 months since mine. Yours has to be soon, right?”

You were right. His birthday was soon. He’d be 38. “Yeah.” He spoke, letting you know his birthday. Yet, he said it so solemnly.

“Hey, don’t worry. We can go drinking again if you like. And look, you’re still in your 30’s,” You smiled at him, pushing him with a playful punch.

Leon scoffed with amusement. “Yeah.”

“Thirty, flirty, and thriving, right?”

He smiled.

“Thirty, flirty, and thriving.”

Leon chose not to drink that year. That time, he had something worth remembering.

You.

[writingwife-83]

Ok listen, this is gonna be a bit of a rant/thinking out loud. I’m gonna put it below a cut, but basically this is gonna be about having my fics restricted on AO3. I’m feeling pretty frustrated and conflicted and I’m going back and forth quite a lot.

For the background, I’ve had all my fics on AO3 restricted for about the past 9 months now. And when I say that, I mean that you can’t access them unless you have an AO3 account. The reason I chose to do this is because I started to get nervous about A.I. scraping online. I absolutely don’t agree with AI writing and art, and I didn’t want those programs to have access to my writing. Restricting your fics on AO3 isn’t a guarantee, but it seemed that was at least a reduced risk of bots accessing writing. So anyway, having restricted my fics in that way, it’s been… a bit of a trial lol. Any AO3 writer who has done this with their fics will say the same I’m sure, but it’s pretty lousy seeing your views, comments, and kudos plummet. Yes of course we partly write for ourselves, but we wouldn’t be posting online at all unless we wanted people to see and enjoy it! If I didn’t care about the feedback and stuff, I’d just keep my writing to myself. So obviously restricting people’s access to my writing has really sucked.

So here’s the thing, I really can’t decide what to do going forward. My feelings about A.I. have not changed at all. I still don’t support it. But I’m not sure whether restricting access to our fics is truly making the difference between AI accessing them or not. What I mean is, I’ve heard from some sources that the AI writing programs have long ago been developed by scraping for writing content on the internet, and that it’s not really something that they’re still actively doing. So basically, long before A.I. was a hot topic, any available writing on the internet was already accessed. If that’s the case, then there’s really not much being accomplished by having our fics locked up now. A.I. writing already exists and is being used, and it’s already been programmed based on available written works.

As far as the risk for people copying and publishing our works on other shady sites, that risk has always been there, and restricting the access to our fics doesn’t change that. Anyone with an AO3 account can hit copy/paste and that’s all it takes. I hate that risk, but tbh the only way to eliminate that is to stop posting online and remove all the existing fics. That’s not something I’m willing to do.

It does annoy me that so many people don’t have an AO3 account, because if everyone did, this wouldn’t even be a decision to make. I still feel like there’s no logical reason to use AO3 without an account. It’s better as a reader for so many reasons, which I don’t feel like taking the time to get into right now. So part of me feels like, I shouldn’t have to unrestricted my fics, everyone else should just make accounts! But I also know that’s never gonna happen. A handful of lovely and supportive people made accounts when myself and others locked their fics, but on a larger scale, not much changed. Again, the stats speak for themselves.

Like I said, this is kind of a rant and I’m just sharing the different thoughts in my head about this. I can easily make an argument for both sides, either to continue to restrict my fics or open them up to the public again. *sigh* idk, maybe I’m not the only one feeling this way. feel free to share your thoughts if you have any on this topic!