#anyway whatever idk if anyone reads this far im just saying stuff.

[imeminemp3]

anyway im really bored and i feel whacked out and i think im gonna go to bed and watch mash and hopefully wake up feeling super energised tomorrow

[coldresolve]

tbh i didnt mean “not wanting to be criticized” i meant “not wanting to search up things and dive into stuff”. Rolling your head on the keyboard and relaxing while creating something is not the same by any means. I was also thinking more of visual art when i wrote that, since “art” is usually used in that sense these days. I do write and i do “research” (not like actual research articles tho) but i couldnt care less about political or any “other” interpretations. I know ur on the mindset of “all art is political” but nah. I just like creating. I dont even ever look ar politics. No news, no social media, nothing, i dont care, i dont interact, i dont listen. Not something that i care about. And im not the only one. And thats also fine. Art and creativity and the act of creation means different things to different people and noone can make a blanket statement with saying “its always political” or “it always has a »deeper« meaning”.

I also dont think “no deeper meaning” means its “shallow” or “lacks depth” (eventho this sounds contradictory), it just means that what might mean something to the artist, doesn’t necessarily mean anything for others and interpretating it in all kinds of ways is the viewers own opinions (also fine, but my point stays that it wasnt “meant” to be interpreted in any way other than how the artist meant it). Like idk how to explain this but just because you (or anyone) thinks about art in such a “deep” and “layered” way its not always like that. Not by far.

Woodworking is art. Pottery is art. Even architecture is art. All those art forms usually dont have any “statement”, or if they do, its not as common. Its relaxing and soothing to just… create. And im not saying “oh just start woodworking without any research”, that would most likely be a safety hazard. What im saying is not knowing about all these political bulshits and not CARING about them either doesnt make the art less valid?

I used these examples because writing and drawing is usually more “political” for a lot of people (including you I know) but for many people its just the same as a piece of pottery or wood statue they work on to relieve stress. And the way you talk about art/writing makes it seem like those people are “less than”. Because they dont do research, because they dont use themes or whatever all those things. No, you dont have to do all those if you just wanna create. Its gatekeepy af.

And tbf at least they are creating it themselves, even if it doesnt fit your standards. At least they arent using some ai. In these times we need to encourage people to create more than ever instead of gatekeeping art and writing and talking down to people who arent as sophisticated as you are.

Because your writing and art is insane but man that shits stressfull. I just want to relax and turn my brain off and create some art to soothe my nerves… not all this political implications lol

My opinion and i know you disagree but anyways. You said you like “criticism” so thougth i would share my thougths too.

hope you dont mind if i break it up by point. below the cut cause youve said a lot and i say a lot, ayy

you wanna have mindless fun and dont care if it comes at the cost of spreading harmful misinfo, bigotry or stereotypes, i got it. i read you loud and clear. im also criticizing you for it, which according to this, you shouldn't have a problem with

so when you said in the last ask that you don't care about 'pushing bad stereotypes', you meant visually...? are you drawing racist charicatures or sth lmao

you're right, i do think all art is political, but politics isnt just men in suits arguing about taxes yknow. a political ideology is a prescriptive worldview, that's it. broadly speaking, it's about how you see the relationship between the past/present/future, resources and power, who has them and who don't, and does that align with our ethics, etc. why things are the way they are and how they ought (/not) to be. how you see the world, other people and yourself necessarily shows up in self-expression, that is what self-expression is. it's inherent to art, and you can't get away from this by simply going 'not true' - what you're telling me here is just that you've decided you personally don't care. which is your right i suppose

just like i have a right to be able to think of this 'heres all the ways i'm extremely apolitical' section as you just declaring a privelege. lots of people - especially this site's userbase - don't get the luxury of being able to look away, because their existence itself is highly politisized. either you pay attention or they start sending you and your friends to camps, babey. deciding to be apolitical is a Very political act

you're not sticking fully to topic here. i never talked about depth, i talked about engaging with art uncritically, which are two different things. i do hold the former as an opinion but this is already long, send a different ask if you want me to get into it lol its mostly just me being a judgy bitch abt popular culture

to the relevant stuff, im just gonna reiterate that the themes you put in your work exist whether you want them to or not. death of the author, that whole thing. if you portray poverty in a way that suggests poor people are just being lazy, or that black people are violent, or that gay people are predatory, if you essentialize these traits in any given work, that is the statement that depiction makes, regardless of whether the artist actually believes it's true or not. that's just how biases work in fiction. it's not gonna stop existing because you stop paying attention to it.

funny you should mention woodworking - hi, im a cabinetmaker and i love talking about my craft. cool facts: scandinavian woodworking tends to use sustainable/local wood, minimalistic and semi-rustic designs with a focus on elegance and simplicity, and mostly uses natural finishes. american wwoodworking is a bit flamboyant and grand, frequently uses exotic woods for details, bulkier designs, with a focus on sturdiness and practicalty, and mostly uses glossy/shiny finishes. japanese woodworking is all about precision, subtlety and a world-famous tradition of the craft spanning back millenia, using wood from species that allow for chisel work with a precision that's down to the width of a human hair, occasionally stained with some nice colors (asia generally loves wood stain). ikea's woodworking uses cheap materials and cost-effective factory production, focuses on the mass marketability of their furniture, and has a legal team to deal with worker's rights abuses and forced labor cases. if you can read nothing about priorities and worldview into any of this, i don't know what to tell you. alas its true. your chair is indeed political

this doesn't mean you can't also use any chair to simply sit down in. these two aren't mutually exclusive.

pottery is the same. architecture is the same. in fact, tell any former soviet country that there's no politics in architecture lol they'll look at you weird

never said your art isn't valid or whatever, idek what that means in this context. i just said i can still criticize your racist charicatures regardless of how much mindless fun you had making them lol

(in case its not obvious i dont think youre making racist charicatures or all that shit, im going to the extremes to illustrate a point ykwim. im guessing you'd be fine with me critizising racism in fiction - in fact i don't actually believe you'd disagree with any of the things i've said if i'd framed it in terms of racism, or at least i hope not lol i dont know how far your take goes. im challenging a double standard ig)

"because they don't use themes" mhm, youre one of the ppl who dont know what a theme is, which ig is pretty valuable for context. art necessitates making decisions about what you portray and how you portray it. those decisions say something about your thought process, which your audience is able to draw conclusions about, or at least interpret from. art is a form of communication. if you create art, you are communicating. it means something. there is a message, usually more than one. that's what themes are. can be as benign as "damn hangovers kinda suck" or some grand statement about the nature of being human, doesn't matter. both of those things are themes

i don't think any person is "less than", i'm criticizing people's approach to art. person =/= person's approach to art. remember in my original post when i said that criticism is not the same as personal attacks? or cultural elitism?

im not particularly sophisticated, i just like abstraction cause im mentally ill lmfao. and i do want to encourage people to make art. i just also hate consumerist brainrot, so

its not that i cant relate to wanting to turn your brain off sometimes and just watch some sloppy horror movie or whatever, i do that too. but i also recognize that said sloppy horror movie can be criticized in seventy thousand different ways, and at least being aware of that instead of mindlessly consuming probably leads to a more wholistic appreciation of the art you create and engage with.

this is sliding into opinion territory like the sidenote in my last answer, so beware, but. if 'mindless fun' is the only way you engage with art, you're missing out, i'm sorry, Facts*. you're treating art like content to be consumed to distract you from the real world, not as something thats supposed to inspire or motivate or make you think about/understand things. it's reductive of what art has the potential to do, the ways it can help you grow. it takes effort to change your approach and i get that, but it gets easier once you've done it enough, and it is very worthwhile imo. just sayin'. im genuinely being an optimist about art here

*= opinion lol. but its a strong opinion which is basically the same as a fact**

**= irony

anyway i genuinely enjoy having these sorts of conversations just for the record. am able to disagree with someone without assuming they're a bad person or whatever. i understand if youre not interested in talking continuing but youve been fairly respectful or whatever so thats nice, love and peace✌️

[haechannabelle]

hiii today is bad my hair is messy but we out here i guess. lots of very negative venting under the cut yayyy (it’s okay tho venting made me feel better)

i’m just frustrated because my stupid job where i have to stand on concrete floors for 7 hours a day has ruined my knees, i have the knees of like a fucking 60 year old and i’m not even 30, like i can’t exercise and i keep gaining weight from my medication and idk what to do about it

and i made an appointment to hopefully get a doctor’s note so i can sit at work but because i’m on medicaid my doctor was like yeah earliest i have is in three months and even then he’ll have to refer me to a specialist to get anything done about it

and my arm has also been bothering me since we moved in august, it’ll go away but then it comes back worse. so of course i’m worried about that too

and NOW my foot is all fucked up on TOP of that stuff and because they’re doing stupid construction on all the public transit i’m walking like an extra 3 miles some days which obviously isn’t helping anything…and i had to leave work today because i couldn’t stop crying because i feel like my body is failing me and i can’t afford to take time off of work and also fuck the healthcare “system” in this country, i just had to pay a $750 bill for dental work so who KNOWS how much it’ll cost if i need treatment for my knees OR arm OR foot OR all three of them

anyways i’m sad and in pain and im freaking out about how i’m gonna get it all fixed or IF i’m gonna get things fixed and how much i’ll have to pay if i do…. it’s just not a good situation and it’s only been building as i tried to ignore the problems and hope they would go away, so now i’m directing anger at myself for not taking care of myself

but whatever my partner will be home soon and he’s gonna drive me to the doctor tomorrow and i know he’ll have comforting things to say. i know it’ll all be okay i’m just upset and what is tumblr for if not long sad personal posts and also selfies riiiiight ???

in other news tomorrow is 4/20 and i WILL be ceremoniously ending my 3 week T-break and i cannot fucking wait. i read four (4!!!) books in that time which is 4x as many books as i had read in the previous 5 years so,, i’m doing good in other ways !!!

everything is gonna be okay, it’s just hard right now. shoutout to anyone who read this far i am virtually giving you a fresh baked cookie 🍪

[the-lightless-flame]

i saw a poll about agnes ships before so. i am going to talk about agnes ships now (spoiler: i dont really like any of them sorry)

first her and jack. eugene says he thinks it was an expression of her doubt, and im inclined to agree. at that point, agnes was seriously doubting her place in the lightless flame (see: her suicide not long after meeting him), so i feel like she probably wanted an escape and when he asked her out it was the perfect opportunity. also she was pretty distant in all of her dates with him, so it kinda looks like she just wanted an excuse to get away from the lightless flame for an afternoon rather than actually wanting to get to know him.

ok jude. i kinda go back and forth over whether i think they were ever a thing or not but like if they were or not. theres no way they were healthy right?? for one jude sees agnes as an actual goddess and that isnt really the basis for a functioning relationship. plus, imo being treated like that (instead of as an actual person) is why agnes felt so uncomfortable with the lightless flame, so being with the person who's arguably the most devoted probably wouldnt be great for her.

gertrude i like aesthetically. i think its fun. i think if they met earlier and on better terms theyd probably go on a date and have tea and maybe kiss. i dont really ship them tho. id maybe read a fic about them, and i understand their appeal as foils for each other, but i dont really think gertrude would be good for agnes. idk, i think the main thing for me is that gertrude is too far into things at basically every point in her life, whereas what i want for agnes is to get away from that

imo the best ship for agnes is just some random woman. ive already talked about this a little in the web!agnes post but i think she deserves a normal life with a normal person (not jack tho. sorry). and that normal person should be a woman bc agnes deserves to be gay.

i really like the idea of her getting away from all the avatars and whatever stuff theyre dealing with. she should get to live in peace, and imo any ship with someone in podcast wouldnt let her have that.

anyway that is my. opinion on agnes ships. obviously not trying to come for anyones ship here, yall are cool and ur ships are very cool.

u can tell me if u think i mischaracterised ur favourite ship or if i missed one. im prepared to admit if im wrong just know that im probably not

[onlyplatonicirl]

correcto-mundo my friend, reaper is one of my favourite utmv characters because i just really like personifications of death, and he sillay

ive always loved the hc that he is a chronic coffee drinker, man's job must be proper stressful so he needs his caffeine fix to keep him going, after all its not like he has a heart to explode with the amount he drinks

his favourite and go-to coffee order is usually just a cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso, 'for that kick', i think he has this favourite coffee shop he visits, maybe within the omega timeline itself, its a local family owned business and its become quite famous for being the god of death's favoruite spot for a pot, they say anyone who drinks there might just be spared the cruel hand of death

anyways, whilst he always orders a really strong coffee i think after the seventh, "the regular?", hed go no, no i wont, and instead orders the unicorn sprinkle supreme frappe, and he really, really likes it, so he now orders that instead, so long as they dump as much espresso as is legal in the cream and syrup concoction

hes a good husband, i hate the image some people in this fandom of how he treats geno, hes constantly overstepping boundaries and all that gross stuff (wonder who that came from.... 2016/17 was a dark time). he is constantly doting on geno, always visiting him whenever he can, always orders a drink for him whenever he goes to his spot, constantly showering him with gifts and the like, and he is so, so happy hes one of the few people he can touch and goes full on pda mode whenevr he can - side note he does this to annoy and embarrass goth

he does actually have eyelights (may actually be canon idr) but he just doesnt show them, why? mystery <|:))

very much so uncanon to almost everything, but i think him and nightmare would get along really well, both are feared because of a duty they have to carry out, something they cant change about themselves, so id think they bond over that, and maybe in another universe nightmare wouldve never have become corrupted because hed have a friend to support him, someone who knew exactly what it felt like but was able to cope with it because of a support network - also coffee-drinking, book-reading introverts unite

also not exactly canon to tcoti as far as i remember, but hey thats what a headcanon is, is that he is in a loving relationship with geno and life, they are brought together in holy ma-TRIO-mony hehehe, so goth gets to have three mum-things, also the image of this beautiful ethereal woman cloaked in flowers and silk embroidered with pearls and gold jewellery standing next to these 5' odd skeleton dudes who are wearing these ragged ass hoodies, shorts and slippers, and her going being like "hmmm yes my husbandwives, i love them dearly", is hilarious to me

he is greek, its quite clear reapertale is based off of the hellenic pantheon, so it only makes sense for reapertale characters to be greek, at least somewhat partially

reaper is supposed to be a counter to repeartale papyrus who is a god of painless death, so in my eyes reaper sort of acts a bit like a judge (just like sans in ut), he takes the souls of those who would've gone to the underworld, which begs the question, what the fuck happens to people who die in this world and in the omega timeline in tcoti, because in my eyes, reaper and paps (idk his name im sorry 😭) reap souls and take them to the underworld (limbo/hell) or to elysium/olympia (heaven sorta), but if a soul is destroyed by say someone like error or is irreparably damaged by experiments on the soul, then that soul cannot be reaped and that person just sorta ceases to exist or becomes undead/deathless, its really weird to try and logic it out, a definitive heaven/hell in the same world where there are beings who can rip apart the code and do whatever they please - please author explainnn i just really wanna know what you think

i think he has a very cold and dark aura, its quite literally visible around him at all times and it never really lets up, this aura is pretty bad for most people and nakes you feel like your dying if you come to close to him

under his cloak he just wears his pajamas, and they always have some dumb slogan on them, life probably bought them

his scythes are quite like the way weapons work in soul eater, that being they can transform and i bet he would probably force his scythes to turn into a dustpan and broom and tidy up his bedroom, or into a mop, really whatevers needed at the moment, theyre like a swiss army knife of convenience, it frustrates alchemy to no end

his house is full on maximalist, and also probably massive, bro is basically a celebrity i can imagine him living in like a massive mansion with greco-roman architecture all over, massive pool, massive garden, all the good stuff

hes a lesbian sorey dont make the rules, he and life were childhoof besties and she was like im a girl :) and he was like same :), having no concept of what being a girl was at all because i doubt alchemy, the god of... stuff and shit i forgor (is it space? i feel like its space, hes clearly based off of primordial gods, but which idk :PP), explained that concept to him, mostly because well why would it matter? alchemy himself is a god above other gods, he himself probably has no concept or care for something like gender, so why explain it to his kids? so when he met life he was like mmm ues im a girl and i like this girl, and for awhile that was good to him, until i think honestly when goth was born and later grew up and then explained to him, or tried to, that, that would make him a lesbian - and for reference geno is a corpse, do you think he cares what label you assign to him or yourself

i think he can transform into animals, usually those associated with death like a crow or snake

speaking of crows i think he keeps a whole murder of them as a pet, hes named every single one of them and he can tell them all apart - he created them himself to be his servants, so he can freely touch them without worrying about them dropping out of the sky a second later

anyways thats all i have, i think, thank you for doinf this i love sharing the brainrot and getting to infodumo shit i straight up made up about characters i love to people

ANONNNNNN WHADDA HELL!!!!!!!

I didnt know all these headcannons were tcoti-adjacent!!!!!! Honestly you have a free pass to headcanon-dump in my ask box whenever you want about whoever you want, I wanna see everything you got!!!!

Also I LOOOOVE the hc that he’s Greek!!! I am also Greek irl and have a lot of Greek family so I am very familiar with the culture and language - him speaking Greek would make me SOOOO happy aaaaaaaa 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[mandizo]

the latest spoke video possessed me for a bit . i also had a rough day today resulting in me writing this unreadable ramble about him on my textbook . talking about ls is literally my coping mechanism......... you might die reading this you have been warned. all the "spoke" in this refer to c!spoke btw

i have s ome very brief and short and concisely worded opinions on the new spoke video ! i want this to be some kinda character study but im not mentally capable enough to do that rn. my favourite part of spoke is his like. personality in general especially how he thinks and how he works to achieve his goals if i dont get it out of my system RIGHT NOW i will explode .

is spoke evil? well in my humble opinion his actions do come from what he thinks are correct / the right thing to do. most notably "to bring peace to lifesteal" at the end of season three. i genuinely dont think this is a lie or a smokescreen to hide his evil intentions etc. but like how bringing peace to lifesteal literally meant to kill everyone permanently, it does seem that he takes quite the radical route to do stuff every time, which caused real harm and destruction. i dont think that gets discussed enough

wiping out the entire server for peace ? whatever ill let that slide. sure . exploiting and taking advantage of the last bit of sympathy and kindness in lifesteal players by staging a fake spawn trap as bait to trick apo members wanting to rescue terry into talking? uhhhhh whatever sure. ok yea. "you can kill him if you want . you can start killing them if you want (o^^o)" blatantly saying that with a smile? "in parrots eyes this is a friendship reunited [...] however this is only one step of my true master plan."??????okay you need to be put in a padded cell immediately. actually that might be to humane you should be put on a remote island as far as possible from land . but you also did nothing wrong innocent lil dude whos just a bit silly. i think you should be put in human society and be allowed to do whatever you want

in conclusion i despise you spoke from spokeishere and i love you . i want to hug you then scream in your ears at the top of my lungs when you least expect. your awful you're evil and you're innocent and you're awesome. you treat trust from others like its nothing. you exploit other people s kindness . you always do things for the greater good. and you're spokeishere (i think thats what his name is i dont watch him that much)

in conclusion of the conclusion. did he really have to all that do achieve his goals that apparently are actually very good and good for the sever? are his goals really that honourable anymore when achieving them comes with such a hefty price tag and death toll? what if in a future event his goals aren't the morally correct thing to do in the first place, then with a passion for working towards his ideals as strong as his, wouldn't mean that he is the ultimate bad person? is he a bad guy anyway ??????my answer to that will be a resounding: "uh idk"

spoke never did anything wrong btw. aldo does anyone else think spoke sounds like hes 7 years old sometimes. not his sentences his voice, he

(the gibberish ends there)

[easeupkid]

c what is the deal with this [redacted] guy what is the story omg? (u don't have to say obviously but Im picturing like a girly sleepover moment where we talk abt boys you know what I mean)

LMAO BESTIE IT’S A SAGA let me tell you but i’m putting in a read more because it’s embarrassing and long lol

okay i’ve known him for like a few years now and like i though he was cute and had a little itty bitty crush on him when we like first met each other ESP once we met in person because we technically met during like…….. online zoom school year lol. anyways but he had a gf at the time so it was like whatever i like being friends with him we’ll just ignore and it’ll go away which it did for a bit.

and then like this year idkkkk what happened to me because like at the beginning of this semester i was just sooooooo pissed at him all the time for various reasons. but then he got his shit together a little bit and i got less pissed at him and then i just like developed like a MASSIVE crush on him like. legitimately like him more than i have liked anyone else ever which is sooooo embarrassing. THE THING IS i have no clue if he’s dating someone or not rn and LIKE even if he isn’t idk if he even thinks of me like that AND ALSO he’s graduating next semester and i’m not AND he’s going to be in [redacted place] while i’ll be in [redacted city that is far away from where he will be and also where we go to school] so it’s like……… even by some miracle grace of god etc he isn’t dating someone AND likes me back LIKE???? how is that even supposed to work IT’S HELL ON EARTH

but at the same time like he’s the sweeeeeeetest and like i feel like we understand each other in such a way?? idk half of it is me projecting probs but like whenever he’s around it feels like he crowds my space like crazy (in a nice way though!!) and like we just talk about all kinds of stuff and it’s nice!!!! most of the time it feels like we’re super in sync and on the same page and it’s like a sense of stability and comfort that i think would be really nice and work really well for the both of us but LITERALLY i have no idea what his deal is ever so like WHO KNOWS

i also literally have never attempted to make moves on anyone ever in my life so like trying to do that whilst like dealing all these variables is TERRIFYING but i literally like. can’t keep like dealing with this like something HAS GOT TO HAPPEN like one or another because i feel like i am going so fucking insane

ANYWAYS that’s the story. it’s pretty boring lol it’s just driving me nuts. i also should mention that we also work on [redacted] together so like. he’s also my coworker so there are just SO MANY ELEMENTS TO THIS. accepting thoughts and prayers at this time 😔

[chogiwow]

dude so i saw ur reply last night but i was in desperate need of sleep but also didn't sleep bc i was just engrossed in a book IVDSNS BUT this morning i opened up my inbox and couldnt find ur reply and was so confused and as i continued to be unable to find it in my inbox i got sadder and then i realised im stupid bc the reply wouldn't be in my inbox 🧍‍♂️anyways semi-long reply sorry hehe (semi-long bc ive defs sent longer ones)

ahh i see i see @ substack. reminds me of medium, which i've come across before... i did debate exploring medium as another writing platform, but never got around to it vsjnvks so its nice that u bring substack to my attention bc now i can compare 🤩 well. maybe not now now but yknow. whenever i decide to/can get around to it NVJDKNSK

100% agree w and have had the same thoughts as you about fics/continuing to write/the pub industry (which i really should give much more thought to, given that one of my degrees is in writing🧍‍♂️) and yeah no it DOES serve as a good incentive to build a portfolio (if anyone asked me for a portfolio, i would simply hand over my uni work bc i have nothing else rn LMAO) but tbh i think even if it is a hobby, it's a good way to kinda explore and set your ??? idk like foundations or whatever so you get an idea of what you wanna write about and if you actually wanna take it seriously (which isn't to say you aren't - we can 100% take hobbies seriously - just that different contexts/intents would call for different. things. wow i love words.)

and also related but unrelated, i think its fun/nice to. uh. idk how to say it but for us (as in literally you and me, but also other mutuals and people in fandom who made friends in the context of fandom) to see eachother write or talk about things outside of the uniting factor or common denominator or whatever? though yeah that does kinda potentially extend the relationship beyond what some people are comfy w. i'm kinda just rambling rn sorry AHHA

OH BUT BUT sorry back to the publishing/career thing. Even if you don't use the substack writings for like. writing/publishing careers, it can still help with other career things? like, you run a blog and hav experience writing about diverse topics, communicating ideas etcetc. so no losses 🤩

do not feel guilty about the chan fic 🙂‍↔️ yes i love/d it and i think about it and yes i would love to read more BUT im so happy to have just been eble to experience it at all. i hope you've never felt pressured by my responses to it KNVDSKJNVDSK sincerest of apologies if you have.

tbh i havent been up to much, i don't think. shits kinda hit the fan tbh but i'm hoping (always hoping) the only other place for the shit to go is down, now. (ie. i hope this is the part where things start getting easier etc). it is what it is, even if it shouldn't be, and we'll somehow get through it because. well, we have so far, right? BUT ANYWAYS

"anything you wanna yap about-" BOY do i have things to yap about. that book^^ i was so engrossed in? jesus CHRIST i sent my friend 10mins worth of voicemsgs JNCDKSNDSK (it may have been 10mins because i simply i can't articulate properly and kept repeating myself and going off on tangents.. but it probably would have been 10mins anyways if i'd planned and scripted it all before hand anyways. it was only 10mins because i got tired and realised i should probably see how much ive spammed 💀) ("kat... 10 whole minutes? 😭" babes thats not even the worst of it-)

i also like to 'yap' about the stuff i learn in class (my other degree/major is in media and cultural studies) and i just 🤩 have so much to say about some things that i find so so interesting but me talking as much as i do/want to is also just. i find it interesting and really wanna share and talk about it KJNVDSKJVNSK so like yeah, to bring this full circle, is why i've vaguely thought about using medium/substack,,, tbh i thought about just making a sideblog here AHAHA but i cant take myself on tumblr seriously LOL + 'fresh' start on new platform sounds neat mhm mhm but also hehehe (evil) maybe instead of spamming my friend about stuff, i can just write blog posts and she can read it whenever hMMMM thinking thinking,,,

anyways 🧍‍♂️sorry, i was expectin this to be long but it ended up longer than i thought it would HAHA wait no im rereading my ask/reply rn and substack just sounds great bc i can do informal reviews about things i've watched/read aswell AHHHH and yeah like just ??? more personal though explorations/'journaling' kinda vibes as well? HMMM AND and even mini writing pieces--- i literally do not have the time to be considering this rn but here i am wHOOPS okay i'll stop now before this gets even longer 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

hi katttt, i'm so sorry for the late reply :'D apparently i'm in the phase of my life where i can only type out articulated replies on my laptop and not my phone, also week's been sooo hectic i hate being a corporate slave fml <3

lmfao not you tryna find my reply in your inbox sdjskd all's good tho hehe :3ooh medium is ... something, i couldn't really figure it out all that well and also the few times i've tried to read on medium, it's asked me to subsribe or sign up to continue to read? and i just don't ... vibe with that lol

yes yes, tryna write about real life stuff really makes me pause once in a while and just think (?) it through bc writing fiction is gen easier than trying to string together the raw ideas relating irl issues/stuff (for me at least). like it really makes me stop midway and rethink my choice of phrasing stuff or even putting forward an opinion thinking about how its gonna make people percieve me? well, not that its not sumn that doesn't apply to fiction as well bc i kinda think that the way one writes always just brings about some sort of perception of their character and personal views through their words, no matter how subtle ... am i making sense? but fictional writing just lets you cloak it into a 'what-if' situation where any judgement of your story/character(s) is not a direct discernment of your personal opinions whereas talking about irl stuff always comes with that concious load of having your opinions/thoughts being obligated to a verdict (positive/negative/both).

so anywayyy sjhdj, yes it's fun to just write and pursue as a hobby bc its fun communiatingideas and realise that it might not be all that irrelevant as you thought haha :>

and noooo, i absolutely love love LOVE reading yout tags on my fics, like i legit go back to my old writings and read the rb tags and it always makes me so happy :( i do want to continue writing fiction bc its always been a comfort to me to be able to weave stories my way, but i suppose everything has its own time to unfold and settle ... sometimes inspiration hits so bad but the will to write it out is just not there :/ but anyway ! i'm glad that you've enjoyed my writing so far <3

yeah, things don't don't need to work out all the time. i'm realising this the hard way, through adulting. really makes me wanna go back and give my younger self a good whooping on the ass to have ever wanted to grow up fast so desperately. but yeah, hope your shit works out man (✿◡‿◡)

lmaoooo no bc ! its so fun to just simply yap about stuff , that's like writing but ... verbally ,,, you could litch rally make a yap blog and i'd read it alllllll :3 also what book is this, drop the nameeeee :'D no but like i get you not being able to take tumblr seriously bc i was like ! i can't talk about this shit on tumblr ! tumblr's supposed to be for my clownery ! all the grownup stuff needs a different platform altogether sjsdksjd but if you ever consider making a blog, i think i'll read it fo the vibes itself. and the words ofc and opinions and stuff. like that's important too gaaaahhhhh what i'm saying is ,, i think you'd make a really amusing and entertaining blog - in a good way !!

anyway ! i think i needed a medium to unscramble the crap in my brain so the blog served well (even though it was an impulsive decision lol) but yeah ! go for it, you won't regret it. nobody really gaf's in the beginning, like readership is low babes, unless you have friends who will actively read your shit but that's a big comfort to me lololol. not sicouraging you in anyway, but its a point to consider if you're looking for a chill sesh with your own writing haha <3

[hana-the-ghostieee]

hi so remember when i reblogged that gay webcomic??? yeah i've thought of an oc but i have far too many projects that i'm procrastinating on that i really shouldn't think of drawing something else (actually though i've got this very excessive Kyary Pamyu Pamyu fanart with references to past MVs, a cat based on PONPONPON, some Elmy fanart, my enby oc's character sketch, and this cat cafe concept where i drew cats based on foods people typically serve at cafes and a drawing of me and a friend that has left the country and is currently in Canada) so here imma give you some details instead

there may or may not be gore-ish kind of under the cut but also i kind of don't feel like forcing you to read a literal essay

also while i was studying today i was playing the ost of my favorite movie (which is a whisker away if you didn't know) and that may or may not influence what i thought of while creating this character in my head

so they have no name cuz i can't think of one

(she/they)

very talented at art cuz yes i am talented too (i think) but they're so freaking goooooooooooooood

the Protector™ of the queer peeps at said school

pretty much posted the entire thing (as in the romance and the notes and whatever) on this hellsite

has learnt the art of MURDER for this thing.

okay don't cross them.

they WILL LIVE TO SEE THIS QUEER COUPLE LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. so please don't be queerphobic. unless you'd like to be sent to the ER.

anyways they practically guarded Damian and Ollie's lockers before Damian got a phone somehow don't ask

and if anyone other than Damien or Ollie touched those notes on the lockers. the ppor person would probably get dropkicked and end up being severely traumatized and get the living daylights knocked out of their being.

and because that scene in nakineko was a thing where Miyo jumps off ths school building

i thought one day she/they just randomly walks around during lunch, hanging out with friends at like the upper corridors and then suddenly??? some random dudes start being a-holes (i don't use swear words don't judge me) and then they start trash talking about them and she/they is. the most PISSED PERSON ON THE PLANET RIGHT NOW and yells at them to take it back but they ignore she/they and then she/they yells at them again and then they piss her off a bit more cuz they're queerphobic little rats or something and then she jumps off the building into a tree so SHE/THEY doesn't/don't die but ends up getting a butt ton of scratches and bleeding wounds anyways so. she/they walks up to a-hole peeps.

and in the back Damian is RUNNING and carrying Ollie (you read that correctly) and then Damian drops Ollie, half expecting him to pick himself up. um they just arrived to see the tea and im not sure if they know that she/they put their notes under high security cuz i haven't figured that out yet but sometime soon i shall

all the while she/they is suffering from blood loss and after some "WHAT DID YOU SAY???"s and "DON'T YOU DARE"s and stuff the rude peeps are just like "...let's get out of here" and of course because Damian and Ollie were part of the crowd that gathered and they were mentioned or something, um, eyes are also on them or something idk i can't describe a school fight i've never been part of one and haven't seen one yet unless my memory sucks

anyways she/they walks up to the couple and is like im sorry you had to see this :((( but i can't just let them slander you guys like this and then literally just collapses on the floor, head hitting the ground and then passes out

and while she/they is literally just lying there, bleeding out someone finally gets the sense to call an ambulance

and then flash forward to the ER where she/they is rn i guess, not sure what injuries to give them

and that is everything i can think of so far because i'm tired and probably should go to sleep but i can't otherwise i'd forget and then i'd never forgive myself for forgetting something that's related one of the most important posts here

also we need more of that wlw couple as in NEED

[clulessmess]

ohhhhhh my fucking god.

I need to get around to making that neocities.

EDIT: um. Ok. Accidentally Posted a vent mid typing

I dont feel like retyping any of that so ill just edit this in the morning since its getting late

So yeah here i go free write venting sawry <3

Just gettin them (unfinished) feelings out

fyi recently decided to check out what neocities is abt after hearing friends gushing abt it n after scrolling around sites I got hyped n decided to make my own neocities after I realized this could possibly solve all my problems sdhkhkfgd

first of all,

............. not to bring this up for the 7848234th time but. yeah Im still having spiraling thoughts abt my girl + the AU. Yes, as I said earlier the intensity of those spirals have died down significantly. but unfortunately its still there, at the back of my mind. and uh oh!!!!!!!!!! unfortunately theres days where it spikes!!!! and frankly brothers i cant take these thoughts anymore,, i need a place to get the fuck away from social media 

I honestly feel thats the reason why I have these thoughts. I haaaate having to fucking overthink posting anything that could be percieved as cringe on my own fucking accounts to prevent the possibility that it could be the post could have me marked as a sort of “lolcow” or laughing stalk known to the internet. I haaaaate that when I have to talk to ppl, fuck even my own online friends, i haveta be walking eggshells via the irony mask and hide shit bc if i feel if i do i have justify my stance to not be seen as cringe!!!!!! I haaaaaaaaaate this fucking terminally online paranoia!!!!!!!!

and I know me saying “I need to get away from social media, im growing paralyzingly sick from my chronically online brainrot” and proceeding to still do this in an another online public space instead of just simply just stop posting abt Her + the AU and maybe even mass delete anything abt them if theyre doing nothing but causing me stress is a weird decision.... but ok.. hear me out

as a creative, the alternative (just mass deleting + stop posting)  is just.....feels so alienating? Like we all crave..an audience??? idk how to fucking explain it but we all like the idea of at least a few ppl liking our stuff? And despite all this headache,,, i still care her 🥺

the thought that this thing I care abt, that I made with my own two hands, that I cannot ever show that to anyone.... thats devestating

I think the reason I keep spiraling is that I feel there is no safe space for me to post abt this. Perhaps specifically fear of the wrong type of ppl catching wind of it.

The current online landscape is fucking hell. Irony poisoned n the standards are so high, ppl will not put up with mediocrity or cringe and they will be LOUD and clear about that.

Not even tumblr is safe.

Neocities though, from what ive seen its the fucking safe haven for self indulgence. Its not uncommon for ppl to have these things called "shrines", a small subwebsite within a website commonly used to just like. Infodump abt whatever thing they like, often obscure and maybe a little "cringe" (i dont mean this to insult them but like. Yknow what i mean right)

Additionally, I wont have to worry about the Wrong People" finding out abt me and My Bullshit. Or most anyone discovering me and My Bullshit. Being into neocities is kinda a "niche", most ppl dont know anything abt neocities asides from programming nerds rlly nostalgic for the old days of the internet!

If anyone for whatever reads this made it this far... Yep. I finally actually went through with the decision of deleting any trace of her off both my tumblrs. I will no longer be talking about her on tumblr unless until this game releases.

Its the perfect place to hide her for now....

Besides, ive been let go of the only job my incompetent ass could ever do but probably still fucked up anyways.  Think I need a fucking hobby that could maybe double as a skill so. Why not dust off what little programming stuff I know and expand upon in it in case my moms right and I cant rlly get my art career to pop off

Though... I guess the one downside for this is that while I hopefully wont be able to directly recieve hate about the AU...I dont think I will be able to recieve any possible love for it either.

As much as i hate to sound like some attentionwhore, and as much as i had a crippling fear of being found out by the Wrong People... there is a small inkling hope and..curiosity for people that might like it

Again, neocities isnt well known. The one upside to me posting my GLITCHED shit on tumblr is that this is prrobably? The only place where GLITCHED has an actual fanbase on tumblr, so i could like get engagement (ugh.... Hate phrasing it like that. Like im sort of numbers obsessed influencer. But i cant think of what else to call it. The possibility of the fans + the rare outsider interacting n being able to read nice or funny little notes), so I highly doubt anyone is going to think to click on the link to my Gina shrine since GLITCHED isnt well known either once I finish my neocities. Even if someone was curious enough to find my website + the shrine n wanted to express that they liked it, Neocities doesnt have a built in system where people can send messages to the creator.

I am going to post the link to my neocities, since well. I know that there is a small few who did like her (or just appreciated the passion i had).

[thewickerking]

OK SO. EPIC WIN! SOUND HAS CEASED!! its on and off and idk if ill hear it again tonight (please i hope not) but it is GONE i am COMFY in BED. my phone DIED but thats ok shes at 3$ now and plugged in so shes going up :)

[hyuckcherie]

.

[peachcitt]

Hiya!!! Loving your Metamorphosis fic, I just had a question about the end of chapter 14, idk if i read it wrong or accidentally skipped over a part or something.

But when Ladybug saw Adrien’s mother at the end, she calls him Violet and stuff but I was picturing him as Adrien. Was he dressed as Violet in the Agreste mansion? And I thought they were in Adrien’s room but then you say Ladybug asks whether they should be more quiet while looking at Adrien’s room

i know you sent me another ask saying you looked it over again and understood the progression of identity reveal that happens, but i know some other people in the comments were also confused, so if you don’t mind, im gonna use your ask to help explain!

warning: spoilers for chapter 14 of metamorphosis, if you care about that kind of thing

1) the scene starts with adrien as violet on the roof talking with plagg. it’s implied he’s violet because nooroo is not talking during this scene, he is not transformed as chat noir, and regular adrien (probably) would not hang out on roofs de-transformed

2) ladybug enters. she knows violet is chat noir, but calls him violet anyway. the reason is up for interpretation, but i thought of it both as a way to distance herself from her feelings as well as remind chat/violet that their relationship is not the same as it used to be

3) they (violet and ladybug) enter adrien’s house through adrien’s bedroom window. ladybug does not immediately understand what this means

4) adrien - still as violet - takes the keys from the broom closet to unlock his father’s office. ladybug falls noticeably silent. remember that in chapter 6, ladybug saw adrien (as adrien) take the same keys from the same closet. it is implied she is starting to realize who he is and is choosing, for whatever reason, not to say anything

5) with ladybug’s back turned toward him, adrien finally let’s go of his violet transformation and stands as just adrien. because she’s looking into the glass coffin, it is likely that she can see his reflection in the glass

6) ladybug turns around and looks him in the eye. there is no denying that violet is chat noir is adrien now. she does not comment on this revelation. she leaves quite soon after

i know the progression of these events happens quite fast and because there’s no dialogue that cements in what’s happening in the prose text, it may be a little confusing to see when all of these big changes and realizations happen.

i wanted these scenes to be quiet and tired; my beta readers @miabrown007 and @anna-scribbles said it best when they went insane in my gdocs comment section; there’s no huge reaction from ladybug here because there has already been far too many huge revelations. additionally (also a comment from my lovely beta readers) this reveal mirrors the audience reaction to the reveal; many people already knew or suspected adrien was violet (and whether or not that can be applied to ladybug for the majority of the fic is also up for interpretation, but it definitely applies to her reaction starting from the moment they enter adrien’s bedroom), but were hoping against all hope that they would be wrong… right up until it was revealed to be a fact and the reaction was largely “of course. of course it had to be him.”

thanks for asking for clarification, and i hope this helps anyone else who was confused!!<3

[softredrobin]

Congratulations on 900 followers! Well-deserved! I often hesitate to request art because I can't reciprocate, but since you are looking for prompts, would you consider a piece featuring Milo, please? Anyway you want to interpret that! Milo alone, with Sweetheart, or his pack. Milo in wolf or human form. Milo as he's depicted in your favorite audio or fanfic or headcanon. No pressure if you're not drawn to this request. I'm excited to see whatever it is you create! Thanks!

hi romi!!!! thank you so much for the prompt :-) milo is my favorite of the wolf bois and im more than happy to do some milo art!! i fiddled with a lot of different ideas and eventually ended up at the most gut-wrenching of milo's videos (that is, of course, Helping Your Werewolf Boyfriend Shift Again).

ramble under the cut (as per usual, for me)

So. SO. I tried so many poses, did so many sketches, and then I ended up... here.

First of all... Wolves don't actually like, cry? Not tears anyway, the way people do, but if you look you can see I did do that brimming-with-tears thing here for Milo. Suspend your disbelief, I'm using my artistic license.

Also, these proportions are... maybe not the best? Wolves are Big™ and I know that! Even so, I don't draw animals very often, and there are not many good people-hugging-wolves references out there (for good reason! don't try to hug a real wolf! do not attempt!). Either way, here we are, and I'm pretty happy with how everything turned out!

My Sweetheart here doesn't have any notably gendered features (unless you count hair length, which I don't...), but I will disclose that my Sweetheart OC uses they/xem pronouns, if anyone cares about that.

Now let's get to the real juicy stuff: cores...

So originally this didn't have any cool effects. And then I decided I wanted it to. So then I made it. I really don't think auras/cores have colors like this (as far as we know they're mostly sound-based as far as sensation goes), but obviously, this is an artistic rendition, so I've translated that into colors and patterns.

I did draw these two up while planning the next part out, so here's those:

Sweetheart's core has a cloudy, nebulous look to it, and very smooth threads. Some are thicker than others! It's a gray-black-silver sort of shade. It is mostly centered around Sweetheart's chest, as per Huxley's stick-figure explanation.

Milo's core is.... sharp pieces and curves mixed together (idk, the brush is called "rad" and it's from procreate's og brush set called "vintage", and the shapes have a mix of curves and sharp edges, so...). The threads are stretched/worn thin in some places. The glow is strongest around his chest but spreads a lot more since shifter magic is... y'know, all spread out and tied to their physicality.

It's not actually super connected either, but I also made the orange parts of the backglow stronger, and the gray parts lighter, since Stealth's auras are said to be fainter than others.

Tbh I didn't have anything else to really say here. I mostly just wanted to show off the core drawings. If you got this far, thanks for reading :-)

[clavis-baby]

Songs that You would listen to After a Breakup with The Brothers

(Lucifer,Mammon,Satan,Asmo)

I’m so sorry I was listening to reckless and it made me feel something (also I’ve never dated anyone sooo shhh)

Also I tried to add at least 3/4 to every brother but I realized they all had a Olivia Rodrigo song so sorry about that also I tried not cross over the same songs 😅

Also Spotify Playlist!!!

————-

Lucifer

enough for you - Olivia Rodrigo

Okay so first Olivia track honestly I know we all cried to her whole album don’t deny it but essentially I felt that with the lyrics I wore makeup when we dated“'Cause I thought you'd like me more If I looked like the other prom queens” and “Tried so hard to be everything that you liked” I feel like Lucifer would expect that his lover to be perfect honestly this song really would work well with both of Satan and Lucifer so deciding between them was pretty hard but the pushing point for me to put this with Lucifer was the lyric “But I don't think anything could ever be enough”

Without me - Halsey

(Ugh I love Halsey so much and her baby soon!!!) Anyway!! For Lucifer I really think that his pride would’ve gotten in the way of all of his relationships he’s ever had but “Feeling so high but too far away to hold me You know I'm the one who put you up there Name in the sky Does it ever get lonely?” Just screams Lucifer and how the chorus keeps on saying “I said I'd catch you if you fall” ahh perfect (could also work for Asmo)

I knew you were trouble - Taylor Swift

Won’t lie but embarrassed that I choose this song but it works for Lucifer sooo whatever but the chorus really is a fairly good start I feel like anyone who has a brain (even tho MC really doesn’t) dating Lucifer wouldn’t be particularly 100% safe but whatever he’s most people’s favorites again I used to love this song but don’t anymore so when I looked up songs about break ups (yes I did that) and Trouble came up I relistened and with these lyrics I had to include it No apologies “He'll never see you cry Pretends he doesn't know That he's the reason why”

Let Me down Slowly - Alec Benjamin

Now if this was a cheating thing and he did cheat this would be like the absolute BEST SONG!! But tbh this is a pretty good song for any breakup I feel like…OH WELL! :) the first lyric FIRST LYRIC “This night is cold in the kingdom” I felt represented his pride idk how to explain but idk T-T I can explain the rest tho >~< “I once was a man with dignity and grace Now I'm slippin' through the cracks of your cold embrace” once again pride but with “Could you find a way to let me down slowly? A little sympathy, I hope you can show me” I really hc that almost with all the boys but especially with Lucifer they just would not care about cheating after they maybe got a rush would leave you instantly once that “rush” is/was gone

Mammon

(I’m a sucker for him im sorry I put all the most emotional songs with him)

Reckless - Madison Beer

This was the song that inspired this whole post!! (Sadly, it made me feel things) But this song really could be used for Belphie and maybe a hint of Asmo but Mammon was the first person I thought about when listening to this song so it’s mammon. Mammon I just feel like behind all the tunsdere act he really promises us so much like obviously the protection but Reckless just show us within the lyrics “I still have the letter you wrote When you told me that I was the only girl You'd ever want in your life” and even this lyric with his whole first man thing and even him asking us to come to him for protection “You might love her now, but you loved me first Said you'd never hurt me, but here we are” it just is so good 😭

Love me or leave me - little mix

So if you even skim through these Mammon songs and know about my posts I love him so much so even though what I said in Lucifers part about them not caring about cheating and stuff I feel like Mammon might care just because of how much he promises things also I read a lot of fanfics with what I just said “And you're turning away like you hate me Do you hate me? Do you hate me? Oh” tbh because of this lyric I did think for a moment to use this song for Satan but Uhhh this is really emotional song and I love my bby “Do you remember when you loved me once What happened? What happened? And you'd hold me here just because” LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME HERE!!!

Be Alright - Dean Lewis

This song I feel like was a bit more for me sooo yeah also remember what I said about how I hc that almost with all the boys that they just would not care about cheating after they maybe got a rush with you they would leave you instantly once that “rush” is/was gone wel I sort of want to believe mammon wouldn’t and his greed gets in the way (who am I kidding I’m just making excuses for my baby) but I’m going to continue on what I just said because Umm well I can do uh “You start to tremble and your voice begins to break You say the cigarettes on the counter weren't your friend's They were my mate's”

(I couldn’t find anymore songs that I felt that would fit him 😭)

Asmo

Ex best friend - Machine gun Kelly

When I was writing this originally there was going to be like 4 parts of all the characters but then once I realized how many songs and I couldn’t think of any for others and how I wanted to add an explanation I gave up on that but originally it was going to also be cheating songs, fall outs, then just aftermaths of breakup songs which to be honest this song really could fit with the after math and cheating songs I feel like Asmo and his SO are more likely a not able to quit each other sort of thing “We're both drunk on the elevator When I kissed you for the first time in New York City, uh” and even near the end of the first season the only little part we sort of get from character development from Asmo when we was drunk explains what he was sort of saying “I swear to God, I never fall in love Then you showed up, and I can't get enough of it I swear to God, I never fall in love I never fall in love, but I can't get enough of it First off, I'm not sorry I won't apologize to nobody You play like I'm invisible Girl, don't act like you ain't saw me” personally I do think that inside Asmo might be insecure and a bit sensitive on the inside but I could be wrong

When the party’s over - Billie Eilish

Wow I have the lyrics up and I just realized this 3 minute song has barley lyrics but the song still fits Asmo so.

traitor - Olivia Rodrio

Even tho that all these songs were on cheating I tend to hc that Asmo isn’t a huge fan of solo partnership because of the title avatar of lust so I feel like in maybe the beginning of a relationship he would promise to you that he would be there for you but would maybe end up not staying true to his words I forgot who but someone else explained why they don’t believe that Asmo wouldn’t be able to go with out having a Polly relationship

——-

I’ve had this in my drafts for so long and wanted to post this but at this point I’ve just can’t add anymore so this is my lazy part

Boys like you - Anna Clendening

Satan

Again I’m lazy rn but I wanted Satans part to show just pure madness and anger but also as time progress just sadness for Satans pure side also anything that had to do with books or a story I added for u know Satan loving books

I’m not mad - Halsey

Moral of the story - Ashe

Blue - Madison Beer

[asterekmess]

Heyo! So I’ve been in the sterek fandom for quite some time now and I’ve been wondering about how you would describe stiles’ personality?

I’ve never actually sat down and watched a full episode of teen wolf (and honestly I’m not sure if I ever will considering everything I’ve heard about how they treat derek and his history but idk who knows I’m very curious in a lot of the plot lines and character development), and a lot of the stuff I know about the show I’ve scraped from fics, gifs, and meta posts

For me personally, Stiles’ personality and characterization is so fluid and nuanced that sometimes I have trouble pinning him down (tho derek doesn’t have trouble with that *wink wink*) So I would love to hear your thoughts! Sorry for the long ask, this grew legs and an ugly mug shdhdhhdjdcj anyhow have a great day :D

Well, everybody's got different perspectives and opinions on Stiles' personality, honestly. Even when you try to stick to 'canon' things, there's a lot of room for interpretation on the why when he does things, or what it says about him as a person, etc etc etc.

Personally, I see canon Stiles as kind of an asshole. I mean, I love him, and he does some incredible things, and he's clearly got an intense love for those close to him. But I do make him kinder in fics, or I at least make him regret being a dick.

In canon, we're given a Stiles who cracks 'dead baby' jokes (he's talking about human sacrifice, so the conversation was already plenty morbid. This wasn't out of the blue.) Who begs for Scott to let Jackson die (though it's made clear that this wasn't serious, and he later works to save Jackson's hide like ten times over), and who will mercilessly poke and prod at people's insecurities or painful pasts, especially when worked up. Isaac's previous abuse isn't a no-go topic. Derek having 'dated' (read: been assaulted at worst and at best, been lied to) serial killers isn't something he's going to tread lightly around. He doesn't try to soften things to save someone's feelings most of the time.

He's presented as someone who is incredibly impulsive, with his emotions, words, and actions. It's kind of implied this is because of his ADHD, but that doesn't explain how often the impulsively cruel or harsh things he says aren't retracted or apologized for, or just generally regretted. Yes, ADHD people are impulsive, and yes sometimes our mouths get away from us and we can end up saying some Fucked Up shit to people because we literally couldn't control the words coming out. But that doesn't mean we're cruel or evil or mean. We still feel bad for doing those things, and those of us who are decent people, try to fix or repair what we've messed up. I am...not a fan of how often ADHD is used as an excuse to make a character a dickhead because "he has no filter." No filter means we struggle to control our thoughts and what we say, it doesn't make us heartless.

So, when I'm writing him, I fix it. Even if he still Does something fucked up, I have him care that he did it. I have him realize what he did or said wasn't okay and respond to that knowledge in some way. Which to some people, means I'm just ignoring what a fucker he is, but imo it feels like a horrible fuckup on the creator's parts, so I'm just correcting the mistake. He's no less Stiles just bc I taught him to say sorry.

Anyway. I'm trying NOT to ramble here.

To answer your question, as best I can; Stiles is sarcastic. Stiles is passionate to a fault. His emotions are BIG, whatever they are. Good, Bad, or even apathy. Whatever feelings he has are just intense. He is very much a no gods, no kings, no masters, kind of man. There isn't really an 'authority' to him, except maybe his dad sometimes. He puts family, and those he considers family, First. But that doesn't mean he isn't selfless. Because he is. Incredibly so. Uncomfortably so.

He walks into gasoline for his friends. He puts himself in the position of losing the only parent he has left, for his classmates. He cares enough about strangers to insist a drunk girl he's spoken to for five minutes max stay hydrated and give her a bottle of water. He literally handed over his mind on a platter to a fox demon for someone he barely fucking knew, to keep her safe.

Loyal. Humorous. A fighter. Family-oriented. Clever. Passionate. Strong, physically, mentally, and emotionally. And a very good liar, in my opinion.

He doesn't lie very well in the show, not to people's faces. He'll stumble around a "I haven't seen him since the last time I saw him" or "are you asking me to tell you what I would have told you if I were going to tell you it?" but at the same time, he can repress and hide away his feelings and his pain in a way not even Derek manages.

He asked Caitlin questions about her girlfriend, and worked to solve the human sacrifices, literal minutes after finding out he'd just lost his oldest friend. He drove Lydia to the warehouse to save Jackson after having the shit beat out of him by a man who'd been learning to cause pain since he was a CHILD. And he never gives away how incredibly broken he is for more than a couple seconds. and it's a little frightening, because he convinces people in this show who are lie detectors that he's okay, when he's a fucking mess. Even Derek shows his pain.

You're right that he's nuanced, and part of that is because when you see him in meta or in fic, what you're seeing is a dozen versions of him sort of compressed into a flat image. Because he changes throughout the show, and while some of his core personality stays the same, a lot of stuff changes. So one fic might harp on his insensitivity, and callousness toward Isaac or how easily he says "just let them die" when talking about Derek or someone else. And then another will dive into how fucking far he's willing to go, travelling all the way to mexico and facing down a hunter clan a dozen times more powerful than the argents with no one but a banshee at his side, just to get Derek back. Or how he saw Malia hurting and sat with her on a couch and held her hand. One is a much earlier version of Stiles, from the start of the show, the other from his midpoint. Near the end, you're able to say that he was so torn about leaving Derek while he was dying, he had to be Begged to go save Scott. That he manipulated an ENTIRE FBI investigation in order to save and protect Derek. (im focusing on derek bc sterek, but also bc his relationship with Derek is the Biggest Arc he has in the show, and the most solid)

You're going to read about different versions of him, and I totally get how that's confusing.

We all sort of bleed ourselves into him and either bring certain canon characteristics to the forefront, or straight up add our own so he's more relatable to us.

So while I can't really help you pin down any specific Stiles, just know that there's not really a 'true' Stiles that anyone can confirm or deny. It's all just perception, so however you see him, go with it. Strengthen it. Explore it. I'm sure you'll find people who see what you do.