#anyway. i need to go to bed now or i’ll just keep going from google doc to google doc on a loop all night JSKJS

[maxillness]

Good At Other Things || CL16 x gf!Reader

Warnings: 18+, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, mean!charles, degrading kink, biting, google translated French, (slight) nipple play, breeding kink, pure filth

Wordcount: 1.8k

Request: Can i request a Charles smut? Lets say that he's playing video games/streaming, and the reader is constantly complaining how he sucks at the game or doesn't play it properly, and he gets so pissed that he literally destroys her brains out until she's begging him to stop

She sat in the living room, listening in on Charles’ complaints on how he always lost in his game

She slowly made her way into the bedroom and stood behind him. She landed her hands on his shoulders, softly messaging them as well as his neck

“You’re bad at that” She smiled, hearing Lando laugh through the headphones

“I’m just unlucky, baby” He sighed, leaning into his touch

“I bet I could do it better” She said, her hands softly playing with his hair

“Don’t be on her side, Lando” Charles said, properly after Lando had agreed on her statement

“Even he agrees. That must mean something, ange” She chuckled, stroking his cheek with the pad of her thumb

“Can’t you just keep quiet and look pretty” She shook her head softly, but laid over on the bed anyways, propping her head up on her arm, watching him still play

After a few rounds of her staying quiet, she spoke again after he lost again “You’re so bad at it, that it’s embarrassing” She laughed

“Look, Lando; I need to go, but I’ll see you soon, no?” Charles said, not looking over at his girlfriend who was laying on their bed

He closed the game as well as hung up with Lando. He took of his headphones and turned around in the chair

“Get over here” He said, manspreading like a whore on drugs, yet his face was with no emotion

She stood up from the bed, walking over to him. She got in his lap, forcing him to close his legs. Her hands was on his shoulders, a shit eating grin on her face

She drove in for a kiss, put he stopped her, putting a finger on her lips “You’re a bad girl. You know that, right?” He asked, his thumb gliding over her bottom lip

“Am I? Or am I just telling the truth” She was cocky, acting as if him calling her a bad girl didn’t make her panties wetter than the Nile

“Like I said, a bad girl” His lips were now on her neck, kissing her softly as his fingers danced down her body, landing on the waistband of her shorts

“And, either bad girls don’t get what they want, or they get much to handle. And, I don’t know what I’m in the mood for today” His teeth sunk into her skin harshly, making her yelp with a mixture of a moan

“I think I’ll choose the latter” He murmured against her skin, licking over the marks his teeth had made

His hand went into her shorts, two fingers pressing against her clit through her panties, making her moan loud and grip onto his shoulders tight

“P-please” She breathed into his ear as she started placing soft kisses on the spot where his jaw and neck connected

He chuckled softly, but circled her clit anyways, causing a breathy moan to slip through her lips

“N-need m-more. P-please” She pleaded breathy into his ear

“No, I think this is just fine, mon ange” His words drew out a desperate whine from her, rocking her hips into his fingers

His hand on her hip tightened, holding her still from her rocking

“I n-need you, amour” She whimpered breathy, almost a moan as he fastened his fingers, her body already shaking

“I know, and you will. More than you need” He said the words in the raspy French accent he knew she loved

She loved it so much, that he was certain she could come just from his voice

She squirmed at the idea of him pulling so many orgasm out of her, that she’ll feel it for days on end

“You’d like that, huh? You’d like it if I pull so many orgasms out of you that you’ll feel it standing so pretty in the garage on Sunday? Hm?” He asked, feeling her thighs shake around his own

“Fuck. Yes. Want to feel you for weeks” She panted, feeling her first of many orgasm built up

“Weeks, huh?” He asked with a teasing tone, sending her right over the edge

She almost screamed his name as she came, clenching around nothing as she did

He rubbed her through her orgasm, letting her head fall to the crook of his neck as she came down

He placed his hands under the back of her thighs, picking her up, letting her legs snake around his hips. His actions drew a yelp out of her

He threw her softly down onto the bed, watching as her body bounced off of it slightly

“You’re so beautiful, mon amour” He smirked, lowering himself to slide down her shorts and panties

He threw them to the ground, kissing the insides of her thighs, watching as he could see her nipples poking through the thin, tight, top she was wearing

“You’re so beautiful like this, ange” He kissed up the insides of her thighs, getting closer to where she needed him so bad, even after her first orgasm

She was squirming under his touch, gripping tightly at the sheets. She whimpered as he kissed the area around her clit, but not directly

He finally gave in, licking his tongue through her wet folds, stopping at her clit, putting pressure on it, making her moan softly

“Fuck, amour. Feels so good” She said as he started flicking her clit with his tongue “Please, don’t stop. Feels s’good” She chanted, bucking her hips up into his mouth

His hands grabbed her hips, pushing her down against the bed. He pulled away from her, looking up at her “Lay still, putain”

She hated how he knew that calling her all kinds of filthy words in French. He knew how turned on she got. He knew she could come just from hearing him degrade her, even if she didn’t understand a single word that came out of his mouth

“Fuck. You. Charles.” She breathed, still not feeling him on her clit again

“It’s the opposite way, hunny” He smiled, attaching his tongue on her again

“P-please, Charles. Fuck, you feel so good” One of her hands went to his hair, tangling her fingers with the strands, while the other dug the nails into his forearm that held her hip

“Fuck- Charles, ‘m gonna-“ She didn’t get to finish her sentence as his name rolled of her tongue like a prayer as she came, her whole body shaking rapidly, her hand tight in his hair, making him groan

She started whining and whimpered as he didn’t slow down or stop his tongue. He pulled his arm on her hip away and roughly entering two of his fingers into, not giving her a chance to adjust before he started curling them, hitting just the right spot inside her

“N-no. Charles… Please- ‘s too much. I can’t- ah. P-please… T’much” Her words were slurred, as well as her vision

Her whole body shook from the overstimulation. She was unable to lay still at this point, even though he had said she was gonna

“Come for me, amour” He said, before reattaching his tongue to her clit, speeding up as well as his fingers

Her legs closed around Charles’ head as she came, her hand so tight in his hair she was sure she had pulled some out

Her body was shaking rapidly. She sighed as she felt him slow down and pull out and away from her

Her eyes were closed, too fucked out to comprehend anything around her. She didn’t notice that Charles was ridding of his clothes

She whined at the touch of his hands on his inner thighs, pushing them apart so he could settle in between them

“Shh… You’re alright” He soothed her, pulling at her arms to get her to sit up. Her body was limp against his as he pulled her top over her head and threw it to the ground

He slowly laid her down again, his lips tracking across her skin soothing her “You okay, mon amour?” He asked, kissing over her nipples, hearing her whimper at it

“Mhm” She hummed, nodding as he kissed up to her lips again

“Good” He said, placing her legs around his waist

“Charles” She whimpered his name in a way that sent shivers all the way down his spine, and made his cock twitch

“God, you make me crazy, woman” He chuckled, slowly pushing into her, hearing her whine

She already clenched rapidly around him, making him groan as he allowed her to adjust to him

“Je t’aime tellement” I love you so much. He breathed into her ear, feeling her nails drag down his back, leaving marks for him to feel

“Move… Please” She whined, pushing his hips further into hers, hoping to get some friction, which was unsuccessful

“Thought you said it was too much?” He chuckled kissing her jaw softly

“Want you to come inside me” She was breathing heavily as he pulled almost all the way out, before slamming into her again

He proceeded to do so a few times before he sat a rhythm he liked, as well as her

He sat up, holding her waist as he slammed into her, hitting her just the right spot, getting her to scream out his name, her back arching off the bed, her eyes rolled back into her head

“Want me to come in you, baby? Want me to knock you up? Want to have little ones running around? Want to make me a daddy?” He chuckled at the way she nodded her head rapidly as best as she could

“Yeah?” He asked in a seductive tone “You gonna be such a good mommy” He groaned, feeling her clench around him, pulling him closer to the edge

“C-Charles” She whined, holding on to his forearms “‘m close” Her eyes were shut tight

“I know, amour. Me too” He groaned, his thrusts getting sloppier and out of rhythm “Come for me, ange”

Only a few sloppy thrusts later, and she was coming around him, leaving marks of her nails in his forearms

Just the sight of her pulled him over the edge. He stilled his hips, coming deep inside her

He pulled out of her, quickly replacing his cock with his fingers, fucking the cum into her, making sure nothing escaped

He laid down beside her, pulling her body into his, feeling her rapid breathing as well as his own

“You might be bad at video games, but you’re good at other things” She chuckled lazily, sleep taking over her

[despairots]

can you write...you force miles 42 to take selfies but hes not into it but hell do anything for you?

━━━━━━━━ hey, smile!

earth42! miles morales x gn! reader. just fluff and miles being absolutely hooked for you. spanish translations my not be accurate since they’re from google translate! i always forget to add the translations at the end of oneshot so i’ll try to remember but its school so and i live in canada gasp

does anyone remember that meme with the “hey, smile!” camera shutter? cause i do and i felt like it match so giggles. anyways you must love earth 42 miles — i do too but earth 1610 still my boo.

he hated taking photos, like he really did, and most people knew that he did. but god, he must love you so much to the point where he agreed to do this with you.

miles grumbled at the constant question of, “can i take a photo of you?” from people all a like, especially you and his mother.

his hands caressed your waist, keeping you slightly away from him as you kept trying to take photos with him, “mi vida, please.” he sighed with his hands now on your face, making you look at him.

“eres cojo, miles.” you scoffed with an eye roll, “even your mom agrees, right, mrs morales?” you looked over to his mom with a smirk, she laughed at the two of you.

“[nombre] tiene razón, millas.” she placed a hand on her waist, a smile showing that she was enjoying the lovers quarrel. “mamá!” miles groaned at his mother.

you giggled, giving miles a quick peck on the lip before going over to his mother, “mrs. morales, since miles, here, doesn’t want to take pictures, wanna show me his baby pictures?”

you threw miles an evil smile over your shoulder as mrs. morales squealed in excitement, miles wouldn’t admit it but he did want to take a picture with you.

he went behind you, hugging your waist as his head was in the crook of your neck to hide the light pigment on his cheek.

“aww, he’s so cute when he was adorable.” he could technically feel the way you smiled.

“but he’s a lot cuter now.” you chuckled as you felt miles grumble into your neck, he’s accent, the way he held himself up, the braids in his hair, everything about him was photogenic.

“you guys are so cute.” mrs. morales commented, pinching miles cheek who let it happen. “take [name] to your room while i prepare dinner. es mejor que tu habitación esté limpia.”

“si mamá.” he took you by the hand, guiding you to his room, “you’re such a mommies boy.” you sat on his bed, smiling up at him as he just smirked.

that smirk, you wanted to kiss it off he’s face, your boyfriend is so cute.

“i love you so much, cariño.” miles kissed you on the nose as you glarrd at him for not kissing you directly, “not even a kiss on the lip.” the pout on your lip made you even cuter.

miles lightly chuckled, pushing you onto your back to cuddle, one of his hand caressing your cheek with love in his eyes.

“why don’t you like photos, cariño?”

“i don’t.” he always had a quick response, “then why don’t you take photos?” you propped yourself up by your elbows, “never crossed my mind, mi vida.” he grabbed you by the waist, pushing you back down and pulled you towards him to cuddle.

you smiled and grabbed your phone from your pocket, swiping left to open the camera app, taking a few photos of miles, thinking that he didn’t know.

he obviously knew but he didn’t tell you. he loved you, adored you. he spoiled you so much, whenever you two went shopping, he used his money, his card.

even if you went shopping by yourself—to be groceries or something— you’ll be using his card.

he worshipped you like angel from above that was sent down for him, and as his the prowler and possessive (even though you are too), he wouldn’t let anyone touch you, anger you.

he knew what to calm you down, make you happy, respected your needs, he wanted the best for you. after his father had died, you completely shut himself off until you came back to the city.

you giggled, miles looking over your shoulder seeing that you were sending the photos to his mother. he smiled and placed a warm, chaste kiss on your cheek.

“i love you, mi vida.”

you turned around to look at him, hands on his cheek as you placed kisses all over his face. first on his forehead, his eyelid, his nose and then a quick kiss on the lip.

“i love you too, miles.”

“no nickname?”

“i love you too, cariño.”

[potatowoogan]

My Options On a WH Hospital AU?

Soo I just wanted to make this AU rant. I've seen a couple hospital/doctor AUs of WH and as someone who has been in and out of a hospital I better understand a lot of the roles Doctors, Nurses, CNA’s (according to google CNA stands for Certified Nursing Assistant) Ect.

I just wanna note for anyone who doesn’t know, that I didn’t come up with the original idea of making a hospital AU. Until I find out who made the first one to make the Hospital AU I will leave the credits to the original AU maker unknown as I truly don’t know who did do it but if ya know please let me know.

Some context

So a little context to better understand this version of this AU not everyone is a hospital staff member like in the other hospital AUs. You and or your ocs or the WH characters can literally just be existent in the AU as serving no serious purpose to the story (if you’d like to place yourself or an Oc into the AU you can comment what you/oc would play a role in I’d like to see what ya come up with).

Wally:

I have seen Wally be out as more so a director/doctor Also known as the Chief of medicine in the hospitals I have gone to (or can be known as the Medical Director depending on what ya call it at your hospital ya go to).

personality I just don’t see Wally as being a doctor, but if ya really wanted him on the team as one of the main medical staff then I’d see him more as a CNA. Anyways only because if we were to go off the cannon way that he understands stuff, he could help in assistance with nursing stuff. And not have it be souly on him to figure out all of the solutions to the problems, and instead he’d have a lot of guidance while being there to help. Also because is more less demanding role I’d say he would fit better in a hospital story as a CNA. That’s what I have him as in my personal hospital AU aka personal as in its in my head not on paper (the one I am kinda sharing a little of rn I guess, though I won’t share a lot as it’s more so one that I’ll keep to myself for now). Cause if we were to go based off of the cannon attributes that he displays it would match him because they don’t do as much as a full time nurse but still can help people (and or puppets in this case).

So Yeah I think that would fit him, especially in the children's ward or the general inpatient stay floor, definitely NOT the ICU where I go when I need to go to the hospital. Form what I know that’s one of the busiest floors

CNA Explained (For those who needs it)

According to Google’s description of a CNA with a little bit of my input. it’s an Entry-level role the providers for patients and nurses and can help in transfer of a patient (for those who don’t know what I am referring to when I say transfer, that’s when a patient arrives form an ambulance and can’t move themselves from the stretcher to the hospital bed), bathing help usually done with a nurse as well (or do form my experience that’s my understanding), feeding the patients. And also restocking the medical storage closet rooms and logging down patients information and history)

Julie & Barnaby (what I see them as)

As I mentioned I have spent a lot of time in a hospital. A good member/role of the staff that have seemed to help me get through stuff are Child Life/Volunteers. They help kids greatly with distractions like playing games that the child/children choses (lol ya kinda see where this is heading but for real that’s what the Child Life’s job entails)

Julie was portrayed as a nurse in a lot of the AUs and as for Barnaby I don’t know because I haven’t gotten that far into knowing the hospital AUd too much (as info on a lot of them is limited but, I would like to know so if ya have known about a hospital Au post or make one of your own ya can link it or send me the post) anyways I’d see those two working as a Child Life specialist because they are into games and support kids ect. Also I’d see Barnaby as the Head of the Child Life team as he can keep a conversation more straight than Julie but either way I’d see them as being on that team more that the main medical staff also Wally could go there too but yea either works for your mind and opinion.

Howdy, Eddie, Poppy, & Sally:

Personally again, I don’t see em as being on a medical staff team whatsoever. so they’d just merely exist and serve no purpose like explained above. And also I don't know what role would be good for them if ya did put em in (what roles would ya have em in and why?).

Frank:

Yes the Grumpy Man’s himself lol. If ya were to have him as any doctor in a hospital AU and or your Hospital AU then I’d see him as being an anesthesiologist (in a children's Ward mainly though can see some adults if that’s what ya wish to have in mind) and here’s why. The patients would be put to sleep anyways so he wouldn’t need to chat with people too much. Ya can through his grumpiness and sternness and he’s still kind hearted on the inside (a tough but caring for patients surgeon vibes though I absolutely don’t see him as a surgeon but what do ya think? Would you have him as a surgeon in your AU? And or see him as being one in a hospital AU?). I feel like for kid patients he’d be more explanatory towards them if they need to. Also with the professionalism he has the potential to have (at almost any career in almost any AU) he would probably stick up for what’s right for the kiddos/patients.

I might draw a little sketch of Frank in bug scrubs soon so Yee I’ll post that whenever I’m ready.

Ya can reblog or whatever. If ya do take inspiration off of this AU I don’t care about credits as idk how to explain it but I don’t necessarily feel the most comfortable being an AU creator I just wanted to put my thoughts out there.

Also I will probably add in the other characters at some point (Seeya and Latter as they were in this AU dream of mind but I don’t really feel ready to share)

(As y’all know) WH is owned by Clown :)

[smooth-perceval]

“You still love me?”

Max Verstappen x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Max and reader have decided to separate for the benefit of their child. Reader and max was always arguing and they both agreed it wasn’t fair to bring their baby up that way. Only when the reader attends one of his races for their kid they realised it was a break that they needed not seperation.

Warning: Swearing, angst, Google translate, not proof read.

Key: Y/N (Your Name), Milo (Baby boy name, baby is nearly 3, slowly learning sentences)

Word count: 4,768

A/N: Max and kids is like my fav fics. Anyways, hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it!! 🖤 maybe some movie quotes in here cause I like movies :|

When did the constant arguing happen? Pfftt no idea I couldn’t tell you. What I could tell you is that I have had enough.

I had enough of playing the waiting game and making excuses for Max’s absence in his own little boys life. We tried attending majority of the races for Max, and even the ones we could attended we might as well been at home, we would’ve seen more of Max on the tv.

Whenever I brought up this situation with Max, he always would shout about “Being world champion” and that “I have a priority to the team” which I would always clip back with “What about your priority of being a father?” To then he would slam the door on my face and go on his simulator, or end the call on me.

It was the same shit different day, it was just killing me knowing this is all effecting our Milo. The countless days and nights of me lying for Max, it was getting tiring wiping our baby’s eyes, and promising him his dad really does love and care for him his just busy doing championship things.

10:38pm

Still no sign of Max, no text, no call, nothing. Milo tried staying awake but the struggle was getting unbearable for him and I decided to do the battle of attempting to get him to bed.

“Come baby, it’s time for bed. Pa is busy…” scooping him up in my arms as he yawned, he started mumbling his protests and I knew it’ll be another long night… and all I could think was, damn you Max Verstappen.

After trying to settle Milo down for the last 20 or so minutes, we finally compromised Milo was going to stay in our bed, with a bowl of fruit because he really wanted it.

Finally Milo settled his head next to mine on the pillow, I was laying on my side watching him a small smile on my face. He really is perfect, his Max’s double, absolutely perfect, the temperament was defiantly the same as well, I sure had my hands full with them.

“mamma, is pa home?” His eyes diverted from the tv to me as he laid on his side also now, clearly getting tired by the way he reached his hand out putting it on the side of my face, a comfort thing he does when his tired. “Not yet baby. I’ll wake you when he does” I place my hand on top of his smiling at him leaning it kissing his nose. “Night mamma…” yawning again his eyes flutter closed as he takes a deep sigh. “Night Schat” (darling)

Once I knew Milo was fully asleep I turned the tv off and leaned over to check my phone again, still nothing…

Now yawning also, I gave up. Milo doesn’t deserve this- I don’t deserve this… all we asked for is 5 minutes of his time. But the team comes first.

01:19am

The bed dipped, and I felt Milo stir against my chest, his small arm wrapped around me as much as he could, I soon felt another arm slide over us both and a deep sigh leave the person. Opening my eyes a little I already knew who it would be.

“Don’t wake Milo.” I mumble cradling our baby.

“Nice to see you too.” He scoffed back rubbing Milo’s back.

“He waited up late again for you Max.”

“Well put him to bed earlier.”

Shushing Max I soothed Milo again, I knew I promised to wake him up but he needs to sleep. Maybe we both can’t keep our promises…

“Sorry…” Max whispered closing his eyes.

“For all of it.” He mumbled afterwards.

“I don’t care anymore…” I whispered back pushing Max arm off me… yes I did and yea I just wanted Max to hold me, but that means his won and I can’t let him win once again. Max gave in rolling onto his back and letting the sleep take him. While me? I laid awake for another hour or so just watching them both, they both looked so peaceful, Milo had clearly felt Max presence and turned over cuddling into him. As soon as Max felt him a small smile crept to his face, even while asleep… and it’s times like this that make me regret the bad thoughts I have… but I had to do it for us to work-

The next morning I slowly woke up, when I glanced over Max and Milo was still asleep, Max now on his back and Milo laying on his chest with Max’s arms both wrapped around him securely. It was an adorable image, they both looked so calm when together and again, so peaceful.

Deciding to start making Milo’s breakfast, I head downstairs knowing soon he will be awake and our little morning routine will have to start, so why not get ahead?

I started making some pancakes and fruit for him as he loves pancakes, seeing as I’m able to get 5 minutes to make them, normally once me and Milo get up his already asking for breakfast- and boy, that kid gets hangry. And boy he can eat.

Just as I was setting his food at the table I heard someone behind me.

“Morning.” I already knew it was Max, by his deep husky voice that he always gets in the mornings, and for the fact that nobody but Max was here who’s voice would be like that. “Morning.” I mumbled back going past him to wake Milo, if I don’t wake him now he won’t sleep later unfortunately.

When I opened the door to the bedroom Milo was slowly waking up, his head just rising from the pillow, like he had sensed Max not being there. I smiled at him sweetly and walked over to the bed brushing his hair back with my fingers. “Morning baby” but he couldn’t care for me being there he straight away looked around the room, “pa?”

“Pa is downstairs, you coming?” I held my hands out to Milo who stood up slowly and climbed into my arms, head resting on my shoulder. Some may say his too old to be carried but his my baby, if I could I’d carry him for the rest of my life. When his in my arms I feel like no danger could come to us.

Once I had made it back downstairs I sat Milo at the table, as he insists his a big boy and can eat like his dad. Max was sitting there already with a bowl of cereal and phone in hand.

“Papa.” Milo stared at Max a sleepy smile on his face “Hi, mijn ventje” (my boy), glancing up from his phone he smiled at Milo, there is no denying Max loves his kid with his whole heart… but Milo is still young. He needs to be shown it. Like now, putting your phone down and enjoying breakfast with one another, was that too much to ask.

“Max.” I crossed my arms over my chest staring him out. He quickly looked up with raised eyebrows. Nodding my head towards Milo with pointed eyes, praying he got the hint. However, he just looked back at Milo confused and then back at me.

With a defeated sigh, I pulled a chair out next to Milo cutting up his food a bit more and handing him his cutlery. “I need to go, shit. I didn’t realise the time.”

“But you’ve barely been here five minutes…” I looked up at him with pleading eyes praying he would just sit back down.

“Papa leaving?” Milo looked between me and Max, I could see it on Max’s face he was praying I made some excuse up.

Shaking my head I looked down at Milo food picking his fork back up for him and handing it to him. “Eat up, otherwise I’ll eat it all.” I was on the verge of tears… the point that he couldn’t even stay here for me, didn’t both me I knew I signed up for this… but Milo didn’t. Max said we was at a good time for kids, truthfully he meant it was a good time for me and not him.

Max ran off upstairs getting changed and packing a few items ready for his next trip. By then Milo had given up with food, I took his stuff out to the kitchen letting him play for a bit in the lounge.

“I’ll call you tonight, make sure Milo is awake.” Turning around Max was standing in the kitchen door way. I just stared at him, I get he has a job I do but it’s not fair-

“Don’t bother making a promise if you don’t intend to keep it.” At my response Max rolled his eyes.

“Y/N don’t start this again- I got to go.”

“So have I. Max I can’t keep doing this…”

I finally got his attention. He stepped further into the kitchen confused.

“What you mean you can’t do this?”

“I can’t keep waiting around for you, you said we could start this family yet you haven’t been here-” I already felt choked up, this wasn’t a conversation I expected to be having first thing in the morning but I knew it was brewing…

“I’m doing my job- what did you expect me to do? Drop it all because you got pregnant?” The realisation showed on Max face as soon as he said it. He stepped even closer hands out waving in front of him.

I leaned my head back trying to hold back any tears that were threatening to spill, taking a few deep breaths.

“Y/N I didn’t mean that- it was just, it just came out-”

“You needed to go Max.” I turned back around putting the last remaining cups and plates away.

“Don’t, don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Shut me out.” He now came and stood next to me, trying to get me to look at him.

“You did that in your own.” He glanced down at his watch and then quickly back up at me.

“I need to leave. We will continue this when I’m home okay? I promise.” And he just left with a quick by to Milo, who was practically chasing him out the door.

There I stood alone in the kitchen taking a few more deep breaths before heading out to Milo.

“How about we go to the park baby?” Smiling I held my hands out to him, slowly he walked over his bottom lip stuck out little sniffles coming from him. “Papa’s gone…” I leant down picking him up, hand rubbing his back trying to soothe him. “I know, it’s okay…” carrying him upstairs to his room we picked a cute little set for him, seeing as it was quite warm out in Monaco, I encouraged him into the bathroom where he climbed on his little stool to brush his teeth.

He has always been very good with learning new things, he likes to be very much like his Dad, he see’s Max brushing his teeth, he wanted to do it, Max gets dressed by himself, Milo can do it. That’s why it’s been very difficult these few months with no Max present… it took a toll on Milo, what does he do now the only person he wanted to be like is rarely around?

“Go play, mama needs to get dressed mijn lieverd” (my darling) he nodded his head running off into his room as I got dressed, brushed my hair and teeth, and put on some skin care.

“Milo you ready?” Coming back out our room he come walking out smiling, his got Max’s cute smile, honestly makes my heart swell every time he smiles, maybe it doesn’t hurt me so much Max not being around because I do have my mini Max always. “Mama, we go park now?” Nodding my head I held his hand as we both took the stairs one step at a time.

“Did you want to bring anything?” I grabbed a large bag for us, heading into the kitchen packing a few snacks and drinks for us, going to the medical cupboard and getting Sun protection, “Milo let mama put this on you” I bent down in front of him applying it to any skin showing before putting it in the bag.

“This.” He held out his small replica toy of Max car before putting it in the bag.

I put his and my shoes on before holding my hand out again. “Ready?”

Nodding his head he took my hand grabbing his little hat that was on the coat hanger as we left.

It was only a small trip to the park, Milo absolutely tired himself out, us now both sitting in a nearby spot of grass in the shade, I was meant back against a tree Milo between my legs leaning back on me, eating some snacks.

“Papa home now?” He mumbled before putting another snack in his mouth. I ran my hands through his hair sighing. “Not yet baby…”

“At bedtime?” He turned his head slightly looking up at me.

“Maybe, if his not busy.” Nodding his head we then sat in silence, I took a picture of Milo sending it to Max, when Max was busy I always made sure to give updates on what we are doing, wether he answers or not.

On the walk home Milo ended up being carried as he fell asleep, clearly exhausted. Once indoors I sat him down in the lounge putting some cushions next to him so he didn’t roll off.

I quickly unpacked the bag and cleaned the house thinking about everything me and Max had to talk about, clearly believing that he will be home later, his promise taken seriously once again.

The day apart from that was quiet, Max never responded to my message, Milo was now awake and playing with his cars in the lounge and I was getting dinner ready.

When it got to dinner I messaged Max 20 minutes before dishing up, to see if he was going to be home, but no response. Me and Milo ate dinner with Max dinner now sitting there untouched, after dinner I cleared our plates putting Max dinner in the oven keeping it warm… hopefully he won’t be long-

I bathed Milo and was able to encourage him to stay in his own room tonight, which he settled down quite quickly clearly still tired from the day at the park.

And then I waited,

10:00pm rolled around, no max.

11:00pm still no max.

12:04am I decided to give up, I took his dinner out the oven throwing it away and headed to bed, the final broken promise.

I didn’t sleep, I laid in bed wondering what or who was keeping him away from home, this is the first 2 week break he has be able to have and yet we have seen nothing of him, I felt starved. I felt unwanted, pushed aside… Milo doesn’t understand fully, he only questions why Max is not here… and I have no more excuses apart from his busy…

12:47am the front door unlocked and I heard Max stumbling in swearing to himself, about 10 minutes or so later he came upstairs getting changed out his clothes and climbing into bed…

I just wanted to turn over and lay on his chest, pin him down and tell him he cannot leave. But I didn’t I faced the wall letting the tears silently fall.

“You awake?” The quiet whisper barley heard between us.

“Y/N…” he reached his hand out to which I quickly brushed off. “I’m sorry-”

“Don’t lie…” I whispered back, biting down on my lip, trying to collect myself.

“Are you crying?” I felt him shuffle behind me now sitting up using his arm to lean on. He pulled my arm gently trying to get me to turn over.

“Just go to sleep.” I tried pulling my arm away, but Max was quick to pull me back, now staring up at him, he leant over switching the side lamp on looking down at me.

“You are crying-” as if completely shocked he went to wipe the tears, I turned away swatting his hand away.

“You broke your promise.”

“I couldn’t just leave they needed me there-”

“Bullshit.” Sniffling I climbed out of the bed grabbing a pillow.

“It’s the truth.” I stood there staring at him, praying he would show me everything we have missed these passed few months, I was deprived of his touch his affection, I was deprived of Max.

“Why you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you hate me.” With furrowed brows he moved to the edge of the bed.

“I’m starting to…” mumbling I looked down at the floor like I was ashamed to admit it.

“Your starting to hate me?” I nod my head slowly sniffling again.

“It took a lot of love for me to hate you the way I do…”

“You hate me?” He repeated again.

“Did you expect any different? Your not here-”

“And? that doesn’t mean you hate me-”

“Max your like a different person now. I don’t like this person you are- I fell in love with the guy that gave me that sweet little boy in the next room… the one who kept his promises, the guy that came home whenever he could to be with his family… this-” I looked him up and down stepping back.

“This isn’t him. This is not my Max. Milo’s dad… he asks for you every single day Max- and your not here… I’m surprised his first word wasn’t “Papa is busy.” From the amount of times I repeated it…”

Staring at each other Max in some form of shock and maybe disbelief, “your never here.” I finished my rant hugging the pillow tighter.

“I’m done now Max, I’ve given it my all… I’ve got no more love to give you.”

“Your giving up on us?”

“You did months ago.”

And I left the room, taking the night in the lounge.

Did it hurt the breakup? No… I was already prepared for it, Max said I could stay in the apartment until I found myself a place suitable for me and Milo, things have been better the past two weeks, I’ve had messages from Max, him asking how Milo is, if I had any photos of him that day, he called most nights to speak to him, and when Milo handed the phone back Max would try and questions the subject of us which I would always shut down… if it took me and Max separated for him and Milo to have a better bond then I’ll do it.

Max asked for us to attend a race in Barcelona in a few weeks, I wasn’t too sure seeing as the travelling for Milo wasn’t nice, and truthfully it would be awkward between me and Max… after sitting down and thinking about it, and how excited Milo got I agreed we will come, for the benefit of our child.

Milo didn’t stop talking for weeks, everyone he saw he told them he was going to watch his papa race, every night Max FaceTimed him and Milo would show him his car collection, every single night without fail.

Going back to that night… I don’t hate Max… it was in the moment it came out- but truthfully I love him with my whole heart. And seeing him improve as a parent only made me love him even more… but I was still being to stubborn to speak to him… and I wasn’t going to not yet anyways.

It finally got to race week, me and Milo was flying out on the Friday and should be at the track just before free practice. Milo insisted on wearing his red bull overalls. In a separate bag I had some spare clothing Incase he got to hot, which he will. But he was just as stubborn as me, and refused to change.

Milo was enjoying all the attention, people complimenting his outfit, and even asking to take photos. Which I allowed as Milo was excited to take pictures. We finally got to the red bull garage, everyone was all over Milo, but he only had one thing on his mind Max, and so did I.

“Where’s papa?” He looked around confused, seeing Max car there but no Max.

“His just coming- did you want to sit in his car?”

Nodding his head excitedly I smiled at the engineer thanking them as they lifted him into the car. I leaned down taking a few photos of him, his smile was just contagious everyone around him smiling also, it was a mini Max in big Max car. He was just adorable.

“You think maybe I should get him a car for his birthday?” Turning my head at the voice Max stood next to me arms crossed and a smile on his face as he watches Milo.

“I think he would love it.” Smiling I turned back. “He hasn’t stopped talking about you for 2 weeks straight.”

“Really?” It was max turn to look at me now in shock.

“Mhm, something about ‘Papa wants to play cars?’ ” laughing a little, Max chuckled also, he leaned over the top of the car rubbing Milo’s head.

“Papa!” He quickly jumped up in the seat reaching for Max, and soon settled on max hip as he carried him around.

“Look at your outfit- You look like pa” Max smiled tugging at Milo’s overalls.

“Mama got more.”

“That’s because Mama is smart, shall we go look at the other cars.” Max looked over at me and I nodded my head for them to go. Only then max grabbed my hand pulling me along with them.

All three of us walking down the pit lane, Max and Milo talking about the cars, me trailing next to them bathing in the moment. Max hand still on mine as we walked, it felt normal. Like we hadn’t spilt all them weeks ago…

“Milooo!” In unison we all turned our heads to the voice, seeing Lando come walking out his garage.

“Hello buddy, I hate your outfit…” Lando pretended to be sick which caused Milo to laugh throwing his head back.

“It’s papas.” Smiling happily at Lando, then moving to cuddle Max tighter. “I know it makes me feel sick! You need one of my ones.” Lando poked his cheek smiling back.

“No papa faster.” This now caused max to burst into laughter nudging Lando.

“Wow, I just got told by a 2 year old.” Lando half smiled, before turning to me leaning in giving me a hug. “Y/N sorry- long time no see” I smiled hugging him back. “How you been Lan?”

“Yeah not bad, working with whatever we got you know-”

“Papa- we go red” milo turned pointing down to the Ferrari garage, then looking back at Max.

“You wanna see Ferrari?” Bouncing Milo he said bye to Lando walking off before turning around.

“You coming? Or shall we meet you down there?”

“I’ll be down in a second-” smiling I waved Max off and turned back to Lando,

“Sorry carry on-”

“What is going on with you both?”

Confused I tilt my head looking at him, “what do you mean?”

“Well are you together or not? Cause a few weeks ago he was the most moodiest person in the world. And when I said to him about it he told me use were not together and now his all smiley stopping at garages, walking love loverbirds with you- I’m so confused!”

Laughing a little I looked down to Max, Charles, Milo and Carlos. “I’m just as confused as you.”

Slowly we both started walking down to them discussing what happened, Lando was like mine and Max��s best friend, everything was told to him, and he wouldn’t tell a soul… on purpose anyways.

Me and Max told Lando and Daniel first when we was expecting Milo before family! He is basically Milo’s uncle. Which is why I trust him to tell him our relationship woes.

“Hey Y/N!” Charles smiled and pulled me into a hug once we reached them Carlos following suit. “Hi, how are you both?”

Both nodding slowly, their faces said otherwise. “You?” Turning to Carlos I smiled, “I’m okay thank you, weather here is lovely!”

“I was just saying to Max, why is Milo in a racing suit in this weather?” Charles laughed a little tugging at Milos suit.

“He insisted he needed to wear it because Max wears it.” Shaking my head I laughed a little looking over at Max. Max however was occupied with watching Milo, in complete awe.

“You really said that mijn ventje?” (My boy) Milo hummed nodding his head.

“Oh Max-” checking the time in my phone I grabbed ahold oh his arm. “Practice is about to start.” Pushing him slightly back towards the red bull garage I gave everyone a quick smile and telling them to have fun.

Lando only responded with a little smirk, in response I stuck my middle finger at him behind Max back.

“It’s a good thing your here I would’ve missed that-” Max laughed a little before pausing and shifting Milo to the other side.

“Milo let papa put you down, you can hold his hand okay?” I reached over taking Milo from max putting him on the ground, and as soon as I did he grabbed mine and Max hand swinging our arms as we walked.

“Lando said you have been miserable, wouldn’t come out your drivers room or something?” Tilting my head slightly I sneaked a look at him.

“I haven’t been miserable… just didn’t feel like talking with people.” Max tutted face red slightly.

“And here I was thinking at least I wasn’t the only one.” Teasing him slightly I smiled a little at him.

“You wasn’t… it was hell.” A sigh left his lips as we got into the garage, I then grabbed Milo sitting him on a chair at the side, and sitting next to him while they got prepared. Max getting his gloves and helmet on and doing his race suit up, once ready he came over to Milo crouching down showing him his custom helmet design for this week.

Milos hands were all over his helmet in absolute amazement.

“Give pa his good luck kiss” I pointed to the front of Max helmet and Milo leaned forward kissing the helmet. Smiling max ruffled his hair and stood up, nodding his head at me and touching my arm, I was looking down at Milo and back to Max, maybe I should tell max good luck?

By now max had already climbed into his car and was ready to go out. An engineer already guiding him slowly out.

“Can you watch him for two seconds-” I looked up at another engineer who nodded taking my spot.

Quickly I slid through the people grabbing onto the edge of Max car looking at him from under the halo.

“Good luck.” He looked at me, the corners of his eyes creasing from a smile. Before i stood up letting go of the car.

“I love you-” it was barely heard over the sound of the car, max was already gone. But it gave me reassurance that I had come close to telling him.

Max qualified for Q2 through the practice and come back into a very happy garage- Milo was asleep across two chairs now changed into his other clothes as he got too warm. All he kept saying was “Papa win?” To which I responded with just a simple “yes papa is always a winner”

As soon as max got out the car he was pulling all his stuff off, gloves first then helmet then tugging at the zip on his race suit opening it up, completely ignoring everyone, and when he moved he headed directly towards us.

“Well do-”

“You still love me?” He was heavy breathing, face red, hair slightly damp. And the only thing I could do was nod my head slowly.

And that was enough for Max. Pulling me in and kissing me, he mumbled I love use followed by a kiss after every word.

“I thought you hated me-”

“Never in a million years… if anything I love you even more than when we was 19.”

Max smile grew as he kissed me again.

And once again I thought to myself, damn you Max Verstappen.

A/N: erm yes it was rushed- I woke up and was like I didn’t finish it- and I was posting today so I do apologise with my whole heart 🖤 but with whatever is there I hope you enjoyed it- I kinda like the whole Milo&Max might make them a mini series as Milo grows idk- we will see!

Masterlist

[adalwolfgang]

helo. how about yandere once-ler/greed-ler x meowscarada reader?

for example, arrange everything in such a way that the reader first helps the Lorax to drive him out of the forest, and then it becomes all the same to her - for why repeat the same thing if the deed is done?

And I beg you PLEASE not in idiotic scenarios like: a yandere dummy killed, kidnapped and raped, but something original from you and what do you think.

I don't care that it will be a one-shot or a headcanon just from you)

I know russian, but I write with google translator lol

Onceler x Meowscarada!Reader head-canons

A/n:I’m sorry for the wait, school is ending soon and I’ve been busy! I use google translate sometimes as well haha! Anyways, since I’m not familiar with Pokémon I had to do some digging to get an idea of how to write you the reader so I hope this is sorta what you wanted and if not please let me know and I’ll try and adjust this!

Warnings: none I can really spot in this except once-ler and greed-ler are the same person. I don’t see the point of making them ‘different’

(Image found on Pinterest, I don’t own it)

This wasn’t what you had in mind when you agreed to help an old friend of yours. The Lorax.

Currently you were sitting by a truffula tree observing as barbaloots pick up this man’s bed and trying fitting in through his door. The Lorax explained his plan to you a day before, how he would put him in the river so he would float away. The Lorax didn’t like this man due to his habit of wanting to chop down all the trees.

The reason you were there was in case anything go out of hand. Like for example the barbaloots couldn’t lift the bed, or the man wakes up? Anything really, that the Lorax needed extra assistance with.

One day later..

The Lorax’s plan didn’t go as well as he thought it would. A young barbaloot was still on the bed as it drifted down stream. Luckily you saved both the barbaloot and the man since the current accidentally pushed them into the rapids where the waterfall was.

After that night of you saving him, the man you now know as ‘once-ler’ kept trying to talk to you. Problem being everytime he tried to make conversation, you would disappear if he just blinked. At first it freaked him out but he soon got used to it and tried to find ways to get you to stay around longer.

The Lorax kept getting frustrated with the once-ler. Even after all his warnings and tricks. Then when he noticed bean-pole trying to make conversation with you, that really made him mad. He didn’t want you falling for this idiots charms and advances so he tried to keep you away from him as much as he could.

Greedler era..

This was bad. Really bad.

The once-ler was losing it with greed. It got so bad to the point where you and the rest of the animals living in the truffula forest started calling him greedler.

You and the Lorax tried warning him but he wouldn’t listen. He even offered you a position. One you couldn’t refuse. Stay by his side.

“How about it? I’m the richest man alive! I’m making millions everyday! I can get you anything you could ever want!”

It scared you how much he changed in such a short time. You missed the old once-ler. But after trying to change his mind for so long, you started giving in.

What was the point? He obviously wasn’t planning on changing his ways anytime soon. All the truffula trees kept lowering in numbers. You felt hopeless in the situation.

After awhile of staying with the once-ler after finally agreeing to his proposition, you stopped trying. There wasn’t no point. It wasn’t as bad though either. He treated you like a goddess. Pampering you with gifts and trying best to his ability to make time for you. Which brings you to your current state.

“Don’t ever leave me. Please..” he would say as he cuddled close to you in bed. He almost sounded like his old self when it was late and you two would be cuddled into each other. Until the sun rose and he had to get back to work that is.

I hope this was close to what you wanted! 🫶

[0-r-a-y-0]

Hickeys— Romantic #1

In which: Max gives Nick a hickey and he has to try and hide it from his brothers (spoiler alert: they see it)

Idk why I’m counting I’m only writing about Nick but it’s whatever 🤷‍♀️

Like I said, I’m not writing smut so it’s nothing like that!!

Cheers to my first fic on here being done??

Also I feel like Max is such a common name in these Nick fics but I can’t think of any other name so oh well. It’ll probably be a different name each fix ngl. Also I imagine Max looking like the guy on the right. (Which is Trevor from shameless)

Also the aesthetic in the pic is weird my bad!!

Max pulled away from Nick’s neck and looked at him with a heartwarming smile. He brushes some of his blonde hair behind his ear, taking a moment to admire the softness in his hair.

“You’re so beautiful, I don’t think I tell you that enough.” Max says.

“You don’t have to compliment me all the time!” Nick replies, rolling his eyes playfully, resting onto the headboard on his bed.

“Yes I do. I want you to know I love you. Also you compliment me like everyday so I just HAVE to do the same thing!” The brunette claims.

“There’s other ways to show that you love me. You don’t have to say something about my hair and eyes everyday.” He reassured.

“Oh yeah? Like what?” Max inquired.

“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe watching RuPaul’s Drag Race with me, maybe just doing something small.” Nick smiled. “We can just lay here all day and watch movies and I’d be happy.”

“Really? You don’t want me to take you out to fancy dinners or anything?” He wondered.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind going out. But I don’t expect you to take me out to dinner for a date every time. Just staying in bed with you is good enough for me.” The blonde responded, laying down in his bed. “But, if you want to go out, we can. I can’t make all the decisions.”

“I think I’m good for right now. It’s too early to get up anyways.” Max said, falling next to Nick.

They look at each other and smile for a moment, Max’s eyes trailing down to Nick’s neck. Immediately propping himself up with his elbow.

“Oh shit…” He muttered.

“What?” Nick asked, his smile slowly fading.

Max didn’t respond, only softly rubbing his fingers along the other’s neck. Nick sighs and grabs his phone, turning on his camera and looking at his neck. His jaw dropped. Purple spots, that almost looked like bruises, were along his neck. It wasn’t dark, and there wasn’t that many, but it was definitely noticeable.

“I’m sorry, Nick.” Max apologized, sitting back.

“It’s fine! I’ll just find something to cover it up with! The only problem is that Matt of Chris would never leave me alone about this if they saw it.” Nick replied, throwing his legs over his bed and getting up.

He walks to his bathroom, Max not too far behind. “Madi left some makeup here last time she was over, we can use some of that.”

“Does she just leave makeup here?” Max asked.

“Yeah, unexpected sleepovers happen way to often.” Nick shrugged, opening one of the drawers and pulling makeup out. “You’re good at art, right?”

“Yeah, painting! Not makeup!” The curly haired boy exclaimed.

“It’s pretty much the same thing, you know more than me.” He said.

“Okay, we’ll yellow cancels out purple.” Max muttered, finding a yellowish liquid makeup and pouring it onto a sponge and gently dabbing it onto the purple marks.

“Okay, now we just need to find some makeup close to your shade…” He trailed off, looking through the makeup and finding a light concealer. He places some onto his finger and onto one of the spots, a little lighter but it wouldn’t be extremely noticeable. “This shade works! Now I just need to blend it out and we should be good!”

“Hell yeah!” Nick cheers, trying to stay still so Max can finish. “Wait, how long until the hickeys will be gone?”

“Uhhh, I don’t know! Just keep doing this until it’s not noticeable?” Max suggested.

“Ehh, good enough for me. I don’t feel like googling that right now.” The blonde shrugged.

A little later, they continued laying in bed until Max’s phone went off. “Shit, I have to go. My little sister is getting into some crazy ass shit.”

“What does that mean anymore?” Nick asked, laughing a bit.

“I mean, she sent the code word in all caps. She doesn’t just send that for no reason. I’ll fill you in on everything once I find out what dumbass shit she’s gotten into this time.” Max smiles, giving a quick kiss to Nick. “And I’ll be sure to go easier on your neck, it’s clear that it’s sensitive.” He teased.

“Ha-ha!” Nick yelled sarcastically.

After Max left, Nick decided to go to the kitchen to see what his brothers are up to, he’s been hanging out with Max since last night and hadn’t really talked to them because of that. He walks out his room and just as he suspected, they were both in the kitchen on their phones.

“Oh hey, you’re boy toy finally left.” Chris comments.

“Okay, don’t call him that.” Nick says.

“Well, what did you guys do all last night?” Matt teases.

“We stayed up all night watching Tim Burton movies. You guys are weird.” The blonde replied, getting a Little Debbie snack out the cupboard.

“Mhmmm, sure.” Chris added.

“What it with you guys? You both always act weird after Max leaves.” Nick raised a brow.

“It’s nothing! You just seem kinda flustered.” He replied.

“Now what does that mean?” The eldest triplet asked, taking a bite out of the sweet treat he held.

Matt and Chris glance at each other for a moment. Matt tilts his head a bit, staring at Nick’s neck. “You got something on your neck.”

“What? I do?” Nick asked, gently rubbing around his neck.

“Yeah, you do. What is that?” He responds, getting up to look at it.

“It’s probably nothing, I’ll get it off.” The blonde claims, about to walk away before Chris bursts out in laughter.

“Wait! Is that what I think it is?” Chris asked.

“WHAT?! What is it?” Nick wondered.

“No way, it is! I didn’t know you and Max were fucking!” He exclaimed.

“WHAT?” The boy shouted. “No, no, no, no, no! We are NOT doing all that!”

“Then why do you have a hickey on your neck?” Matt questioned.

“I don’t know! We were just kissing! We didn’t have sex and even if we did, it would be none of your business.” Nick stated.

“You covered the rest with Madi’s makeup didn’t you?” He asked.

“Yeah, he did.” The blonde admitted.

“Oh HE did.” Chris added.

“Yeah, he’s good at art and stuff so I thought he’d be better at covering it up.” Nick explained.

“He obviously missed a spot.” Matt said.

“Thanks, I’m aware.” The blonde sassed back. “It’s just some hickeys, it’s not a big deal.”

“Nobody is making it a big deal.” The middle triplet shrugged.

“Yeah, I mean, good for you dude.” Chris commented.

“Yeahhhh.” Nick awkwardly nodded. “Well, I’m wiping this makeup off my neck, it feels weird.”

[id-rather-be-an-outsider]

Cashmere and Cradles

Jean Kierstein x Pregnant!Reader

summary: y/n gets sick, and Jean worries sick. then, they’re both in for the sickest surprise of their lives.

word count: 3226

a/n: I was inspired to write this by the always lovely @quiveringdeer! this is also something close to home for me due to me incorporating my personal experiences, so plz be nice in the notes ya’ll (everyone always is but I like putting the disclaimer there for certain fics)

masterlist

I haven’t stopped being nauseous since I woke up. Is this really all because I had an anxiety attack from that one asshole? I already googled it, maybe it’s the fact that I drank a ton of water right when I woke up. I don’t know. I could barely touch the alfredo noodles we had last night, but I thought that was just me being anxious. Jean looked a little concerned at dinner, but I told him I was fine when he kissed me goodbye this morning. Just tired.

Really, I’m exhausted. I feel my stomach lurch, and I realize, I’m going to throw up. I run to the bathroom as fast as possible, nearly missing the toilet, and the last bits of undigested dinner from last night come up, along with bile and all the water from earlier. When I stop retching, I flush the toilet, and stand up dizzily. I brush my teeth to get rid of the remaining vomit, gargle a million times, and wipe my face, which has tears streaming down from the pain. Without fail, my body always feels like it’s been shoved into a trash compactor when I throw up.

When I’m finished cleaning myself up, I decide to go back to bed. The thought of trying to keep food down right now is an awful one. I text Jean to tell him I think I got a stomach bug, and he immediately texts me back asking why. I smile to myself, rolling my eyes a bit. He’s such a worry wart. Just puked, but I feel a lot better. Must’ve been why I was tired, I reply.

Do you need anything? He asks me, and I can imagine his furrowed eyebrows right in front of me.

You’re so sweet, baby. No, I just need sleep.

Have you eaten today?

No. If I eat right now I probably won’t keep it down. I never can after throwing up. I’ll eat when I wake back up. Love you xo

Ok, love you too babygirl xo

I smile to myself, then set my phone down on the nightstand. It doesn’t take long for me to drift off into a peaceful slumber.

I’m woken by my phone vibrating on the nightstand. “Hello?” I answer groggily, and am spooked by Connie’s annoyingly loud voice.

“Y/n! Someone’s pregnant!” He yells into my ear. I hold my phone far away from me, pinching the bridge of my nose. Somehow, he’s already given me a headache. “Who?”

“I don’t know, but Sasha said her mom had a dream about fish! And you know what that means!” He says. I do not know what that means.

I yawn, asking, “Does it mean she misses her son-in-law’s cooking? Niccolo should visit her again soon.”

Connie pauses. “Hey, were you asleep before I called you?”

“Yes. Very peacefully, I might add. I have the flu.”

“W-why didn’t you tell me?!” He yells at me, and I wince.

“Connie, shut the fuck up! I have a migraine because of you! And because, I thought it would be obvious!” I say.

“Huh?” Connie asks in exasperation. “It’s three in the afternoon! How am I supposed to know you took a midday nap?”

“I never took a nap…” I trail off when I realize that means I’ve slept for basically 14 hours straight, excluding my short time being awake this morning. “Damn. I didn’t think I was this sick.”

“I’m sorry for waking you up, y/n.” Connie apologizes, panic gone from his voice.

I wave him off, not realizing he can’t see me for a few seconds. “No, no, it’s fine. I needed to get up anyways, I have commissions I need to work on, sick or not. Anyways, what’s your point? About the fish and somebody being pregnant.”

“Oh! Right!” He exclaims. “So, dreams have meaning. There’s symbolism in them that rings true.”

“Why are you using the word symbolism? That has no business being in your vocabulary, it’s out of your intelligence bracket.” I say, snickering to myself when he pauses to process what I’ve said.

“Hey! I know things, okay?!” Connie defends himself after realizing I called him stupid. “Anyways, when someone dreams about a fish, it means someone they know is pregnant. And there’s always someone who’s pregnant.

“Mhm.” I say. “Well, if you figure out who that pregnant person is, tell me so I can congratulate them on making a terrible financial decision for the next eighteen plus years. I’m tired, so I’m gonna go back to bed.”

Connie says, “But didn’t you just talk about how much work you were gonna do?”

“Times change, Connie,” I respond, “That, and I just got even more tired than I was when I first answered the phone. I think you’re just exhausting me with your idiocy.”

Connie gasps, and I swear I can hear him clutching his imaginary pearls. “Hurtful!”

I sigh. “Goodbye, Connie.”

He groans, like I’ve just ruined his plans to gossip about pregnancy candidates. “Bye, y/n.” The phone hangs up with a beep, and I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling as I think to myself. There aren’t many options, in all honesty. Ymir and Historia could have decided they wanted to start a family, Eren and Mikasa, Annie and Bertholdt, even Sasha and Niccolo. I’m sick as a dog, so I’m already counted out — can’t have a baby when you’re busy having stomach flu. Before I know it, I’m lulled back to sleep by the comfort of the plush mattress and cushy blankets.

When I come to, it’s sunset, and the offending noise that wakes me is Jean’s keys jangling in the doorknob. I would get up to unlock the door for him, but I’m too groggy to move more than a finger. The door squeaks open, and I hear him put his keys down on the counter, stepping out of his shoes. “Y/n?” He calls, concern laced in his voice.

“Over here!” I respond in turn, yawning and stretching a bit. Jean’s footsteps make the apartment vibrate. He’s not heavy, but the infrastructure isn’t immune to jiggle physics. He turns the concern and I can see the wrinkles forming in real time, all because of me. Then, I can see flowers and a card. “Baby!” I exclaim in surprise, “Is that for me?”

He smiles, and he’s no longer aged by seven years. “I couldn’t come home to my girl empty-handed now, could I? How are you feeling?” He sets the flowers down on the bed, along with the card, and gathers me into a gentle hug, kissing me on the cheek.

“Babe,” I argue, “Don’t, you’ll get sick.”

“And get to take time off to spend with the most beautiful person in the world? Sounds great to me.” He grins when I roll my eyes, then asks, “Did you stay in bed all day?”

I nod. “Yea, I felt pretty shitty. No throwing up aside from the one time, though. Oh! And guess what? According to Sasha’s mom, somebody’s pregnant. The fish in her dreams told her so.”

He meets my eyes with a knowing look, his smile ever-present. “I am taking this so seriously right now, I swear. And who did we hear this fish dream news from?”

“Connie, who dared to wake me from my slumber.” I sigh, sitting up in the bed so I can be on eye-level with Jean.

Jean says, “I see, I see. Sounds like indisputable fact, if you ask me.”

“No, babe. We’re asking the dream fish.”

He laughs, and I laugh with him. “Okay, enough bullying people for being superstitious. You need some water, and soft foods. You probably haven’t eaten all day, have you?” I shake my head no. Jean says, “Well, I’m not Chef Niccolo, but I can make something pretty saucy. I’ll see what I can manage.”

“Do we have…” I start, but trail off, realizing it was a stupid question. Of course we wouldn’t have Kraft mac and cheese. “Nevermind.” I say with a smile at Jean as he looks at me inquisitively.

Fifteen minutes later, he brings me a bowl of noodles with shredded chicken in it. “Is this alright?” He asks me, and I can see he genuinely is worried I won’t like it.

I smile gratefully at him. “Of course, thank you baby. You don’t have to worry about me, the nausea seems to be the worst of it.” I feel a twinge in my stomach looking at the food, but I know it’s just me being finicky because I’m sick. I have to eat something if I want to get better.

He pats my back. “All right, I’m gonna hop in the shower. The door’s unlocked if you need anything, as per usual.” He kisses my forehead, then leaves me to handle business.

When he’s out of sight, I stare at my food like it’s insulting me. My stomach feels like it’s doing flips, and I would rather go back to sleep, but I know if I don’t eat anything, Jean will freak. His mom used to get sick all the time — bad immune system — so now, after everything I’ve been through, he watches over me like a mother hen.

And what is it that I’ve been through? Well… a miscarriage. And an eating disorder. It was for the better that the miscarriage happened, because neither of us were ready for a kid, but it was grueling. I only found out I was pregnant because of the miscarriage, and it left me even more physically and emotionally drained than I already had been for the month before. It explained the nausea, and the inability to eat most foods, but after the miscarriage, I continued being unable to eat. I lost a lot of weight, and when I finally went to the doctor’s office, they recommended I start eating protein bars to regain what I’d lost. I did, and I haven’t lost the weight again since then, but Jean fusses over me, because he knows my eating disorder is a daily battle, not one that just goes away. I tell him not to worry, that as long as I’m keeping my current weight then we have nothing to worry about, but it’s like talking to a brick wall. Or, for accuracy’s sake, it’s like talking to a magical brick wall that finds the most anxiety-inducing message in all of your words and echoes that back to you.

The miscarriage and the events after it happened years ago, but I remember it like yesterday, and so does Jean. Every now and then, we whisper to each other at night, talking about what might have happened if I hadn’t miscarried.

I don’t know why I’m thinking about all of this right now. Maybe it’s because the nausea I’m feeling now reminds me of back then. I shake my head, clearing my thoughts, then mentally prepare myself to take a bite of food. I stab the fork into my noodles and twist, twist, twist, until I have a reasonable lump of noodles around my fork, ready to be eaten. I lift it up into my mouth, and when I smell the noodles… it’s over.

I throw my fork down, quickly setting my bowl down on the nightstand and run to the bathroom faster than the speed of light. I nearly slam the door open, and start puking as soon as the toilet seat and lid are propped up. I hear Jean pull back the shower curtain as I heave, splatters of liquid and mush landing in the toilet. The room is already steamed up – he loves hot showers. We both do, to be fair. “Babe? Are you okay?” He asks me, and it takes literally everything in me to not snap at him and say that I’m obviously not okay.

I give him a thumbs up. “I don’t know why, but just smelling the food made me nauseous. What was the expiration date on the canned chicken?”

As water trickles down his bare chest, sculpted abs dividing my attention, Jean says, “I just bought that on Saturday. No way it’s expired. If you can’t eat, why don’t you try taking a shower? You’ve been in sick clothes all day.” I put the lid down and flush the toilet, slowly nodding as I stand up. I strip down, joining him in the spray as he holds his hand out for me to take. Always the gentleman. I’m sandwiched between him and the warm water, and I sigh, feeling some relief for once. He slides his hands around my waist, kissing my cheek and leaning his head against mine, sighing with me. “I’m sorry you’re so sick, baby.”

I turn around to face him, the water hitting my backside as I wrap my arms around his neck, looking up at him. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” I get up on my tip-toes to kiss him, and where nausea once was in my stomach, a fire suddenly rages – a fire of want, of desperate need. I close my eyes, deepening the kiss and pressing my body against his. “Baby.” I pant out, reaching down for his member as I feel the slick growing between my thighs.

He grunts, stopping the kiss and holding my arms, stepping away. “Not right now, y/n. You’re sick. It would just make you worse. Let’s wait until you’re feeling better, yea?” I hadn’t actually touched him yet, but I can already see that he’s clearly aroused.

I frown to myself. I’m disappointed, but he’s right. “Yea, right. Sorry.” I don’t know what came over me in that moment, but right now, I feel riled up for no apparent reason. What is happening to me?

We finish our shower, and he grabs out the silkiest pair of pajamas for me, helping me dry off and put them on before helping me into bed, and I note he removed the offending food from the area. I don’t know how I managed to meet someone as kind as him. “Hey,” He asks me, “Weren’t you supposed to start your period a few days ago?”

I think to myself, then nod in confirmation. “I think I was. No big deal, though. I’d probably be miserable if I had to deal with that and this at the same time.” He looks deep in thought. “What is it?” I ask him.

He shakes his head. “I’m just worried about you, is all. Why don’t you get some sleep and I’ll run to the store to get some hot cocoa for you to try?” Hot cocoa sounds delicious right now, I’ll give him that. It’s not usually something I crave, but maybe some sugar is just the thing I need after all of this bullshit.

I smile, then lay back in bed. “Okay, baby. See you then.”

When I wake up, it’s to Jean sitting at my feet, holding some kind of stick in his hand, eyes wide in shock, jaw completely slack. I look to my right and spot two mugs of cocoa sitting on my nightstand, one half-drunk. “Baby? What is it?” I ask him, unable to push myself up.

“I… I… I didn’t think… I only had an inkling of a hunch as to what it might be, but…” He stammers, more to himself than to me.

I sigh forcefully. “Jean. Baby. What is it?”

“Baby.” He says.

“Yes, I’m listening, Jean,” I reply, a bit annoyed that he isn’t listening. It’s not like him. “What is it?” I ask again, with more emphasis.

“A baby.” He says, and when he lifts up his hand to show me, I realize he’s holding not one, not two, but three pregnancy tests. And they all are positive. “You forgot to flush the toilet when you peed after getting out of the shower.”

Now, my face matches his. “What???” I say, suddenly jolting up into a sitting position, but not without a wave of nausea rolling over me. “I… what are we gonna do?” I say, panic setting in.

Jean answers, “We’re gonna do what you want to do, of course.” He leans over, setting the tests down on my nightstand and grabbing my hand, squeezing it. “If you don’t feel ready…”

“I–” I cut myself off when I feel my lip wobble. Tears suddenly well up in my eyes, and I fight the urge to let them loose. “Jean, I can’t.” I see the disappointment in his eyes, and I start to cry. “I can’t lose another one, Jean, I can’t. Please.”

He pauses, taken aback, but quickly hugs me to comfort me. “Oh, y/n, don’t cry, don’t cry. I’m an idiot, I thought you were saying ‘I can’t’ as in, you couldn’t keep it, I’m an idiot, ignore my initial reaction.”

I sniffle and wipe my eyes. “Wait…” I ask, “You mean you would rather me keep it?”

Jean laughs, and I almost puke from the vibrations alone, but I don’t care right now. “Yes, yes, I absolutely would rather you keep it, but I’ll support you either way.”

I start crying even more. “Oh, thank God, thank God, I thought…”

Jean pulls back slightly, but only to place kiss upon kiss all over my face. He pauses, looking me in the eye. “Put that thought away. It doesn’t have any place here.” He then places his arm behind my back, laying me back down on the bed. He starts unbuttoning my pajama top, just a few buttons from the waist up. He kisses my stomach, right below my belly button. “Hey, baby.” He whispers against my abdomen, and I lightly push him away with my arms.

“Baby. As cute as that is, please don’t. The vibrations make me nauseous.” I smile tiredly, but beckon him to lay next to me. He happily joins me, throwing an arm over my stomach and sliding under the covers.

Quietly, he says, “How does the cocoa smell?”

“Good.” I whisper.

He chuckles. “My mom said she liked that when she was pregnant with me.”

Sassily, I say, “Oh, so the baby has your taste, does he?”

And he says, “Possibly. Is it selfish of me to want them to be a girl? I’d love to have two of you around here. Plus, then Connie won’t try to make me name them after him in honor of him being the first one to share the news of your pregnancy.”

I roll my eyes. “Right, the fish gods.”

“I thought they were dream fish?”

“Same shit.” I scoff. “Can we just… never tell him?”

Jean hums. “Mmm… unfortunately, that might be a little suspect. We have to tell my mom first, anyways. Gramas always have seniority. Want me to wait a bit?”

I respond, “Maybe for a week, that way you can say I got you sick and you can’t go into work.”

Jean groans. “Babe, how are you so hot, so smart, and so pregnant with my kid, all at once? I feel so lucky right now.” He kisses my collar bone, laying back beside me like I’ve knocked him out with my grand idea.

I laugh, hand resting on my stomach. “You’re an idiot, Jean.”

“Just a fool in love,” He says, “Thinking about cashmere blankets and cedarwood cradles.”

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

All right, I’m doing really well tonight, actually, not freaking out at all over starting a new job tomorrow or anything, but no reason whatsoever I’m up late at night and unable to sleep even though I’d said I’d go to bed early to be well rested for the first day of work, and watching and listening to the best sources of comfort media I can think of to try to relax and sleep. I’m doing fine. This is fine.

Anyway, in this state of not really caring about anything except trying to get some sleep eventually and surviving a new and unfamiliar environment tomorrow, I’ve decided to temporarily suspend the rules of this blog, which involve avoiding referring directly to material in any bootlegged comedy show I’ve heard. Fuck that, I have it on good authority that Daniel Kitson is not regularly Googling himself these days, no one’s going to find out. Also I’m not going to leave this post up for longer than a day or two, it’s going to be one of those things I write just because writing stuff down and putting it somewhere makes me feel better and then I’ll get rid of it because this doesn’t need to be up long-term, does it?

When I listen to comedy shows, I keep a few things in the back of my mind for context. I don’t do this consciously, it’s just something that’s back there and informing the way I hear the words. I don’t even notice that I’m doing it, until I occasionally hear something live (if I catch a livestream of some sort), and then my brain automatically reaches for these context clues that it usually puts in place, but I realize I don’t have to do that this time because the answer to “when is this happen?” is just “now”, and that makes me aware of how much I do keep track of the time differences during other recordings.

I keep track of what year it was when this show took place, so I can know what world they’re talking about. If they discuss “the state of discourse in this country”, they mean a different thing if they’re talking pre- or post-Brexit vote, pre- or post-coalition, pre- or post-Boris Johnson’s election to Prime Minister. I also keep track of how much time there was between that year and now – was it two years ago? Five? Ten? Twenty? I also keep track of the comedian’s age at the time of recording, and how it differs from mine. Should I expect to have any age-related overlapping experience with them? Were they older than me or younger than me at the time? If they were older, that may explain it if they talk about stages of life I haven’t been to yet. If they were younger, that may explain it if they seem to be missing some stuff that I’ve learned just by getting to my age.

It's interesting when I hear something live so I don’t have to mentally translate everything according to what year it took place and how long ago that was. But it’s also interesting to hear stuff from people who were the age I am now, so I don’t have to mentally translate the age difference either.

I’ve heard a lot of Daniel Kitson over the last year and a bit. Too much, probably. Arguably more than a doctor might recommend. But I’m usually translating for age, because this spans twenty years, and for most of those years he was not the age I am now. I’ve heard him younger, and I’ve heard him older. But not usually at this age.

Yesterday I heard a new recording for the first time, from 2010, when Kitson was 33. I’m going to be 33 in a couple of months. It’s not exactly my age, but it’s quite close. And I think I might have heard the most specifically relatable thing I’ve ever heard in a stand-up comedy show. Pretty fucking close, anyway. Sorry for quoting this shit you didn’t mean to record, Kitson. It’ll take it down soon.

I went to my friend's birthday drinks, and they happened in a pub, stroke restaurant function room, at about four in the afternoon, and literally everybody else there was either married and/or had children. And they were all... if I had to characterize the atmosphere, it would be: "We're all getting on, aren't we? Aren't we all getting on? Ha ha aren't we all getting on? Look at us, all getting on!" Literally, I have never felt more like angry Jesus in the Temple. "This is bullshit! Do you remember when we used to have fun? See you in... fucking eighteen years, when you stop being dull." I mean, I don't... it's just... they just seem to be such a peculiar thing. And I don't want to have to work out a date to go and visit my friends. I want my friends to be 'round the corner. Waiting for me at all times. I mean, arguably that's a self-involved view of the world. ... It can't be a good sign, that you're at a gathering for someone's birthday and everyone's getting on and it makes you genuinely angry.

It's not like it's a new subject or anything. I've heard Kitson talk about this specific thing lots of times before - the way he bought a house in London and then all his friends moved away from London and that was the beginning of his Loneliness Era. After the Beginning, Before the End is almost all about that, and it's the bleakest fucking comedy show I've ever heard.

But that show was from 2013 - he'd had some time to get used to it by then, to figure out exactly what he thought about it and wanted to say. He talked about it for years, as he figured out how to put complicated situations into eloquent words. The above quote is from 2010, relatively soon after this began, when he was still just telling the story somewhat off the cuff (I mean, I'm sure he wrote that "Jesus in the Temple" line beforehand, but it didn't sound very rehearsed), as a thing that had just happened, not as something he'd really turned into material yet. And fucking hell. Yep, that's what that is. That's what happens there. If anyone here hasn't turned 32 yet, just so you know, that is what happens. People don't just keep doing what used to be fun. They all drop it for new things and you have to either do that too or just not do stuff anymore.

Last week, I was in the car with my dad, and my dad told me, "You know, your problem is that you go through your whole life never expecting anything to change, and then every time it does, you're absolutely appalled." And I said, yep. Good point. "Appalled" is an accurate word there, conveys the correct amount of shock and disbelief.

I mean, at least Kitson's friends disappeared to do cool stuff like TV shows and touring music careers. Want to know where my friends went? Okay, pre-pandemic, I had a good group of people who coached this team with me, and two or three times a week, after practice we'd go to a pub and hang out for a couple of hours. Then on weekends we'd travel to tournaments, come back after, meet at someone's house, watch videos of matches from the day. Spend most weekends together when we weren't traveling. Here's where each of them are now:

Got serious with his girlfriend during COVID, moved out of his apartment that was just down the road from me (where I used to walk to in ten minutes and hang out for the night all the time, we were quite close), moved into the suburbs that's an hour away on the bus and impossible to walk to, still comes to practice but travels and stays with his girlfriend instead of with the team on trips and almost never comes to social stuff anymore, I haven't had a social conversation with him in two years

Started dating a guy with a kid, threw herself into being a serious girlfriend and stepmother, moved out of downtown and in with him, stopped coming to practice altogether for a long time, now still does occasionally but doesn't do any social stuff

Tried to fuck a teenager so we had to kick him off the team and our of our lives, and in the process got rid of quite a bit of my faith in humanity and ability to trust people since I learned that someone I liked so much and considered a good friend was capable of that

Died of a brain aneurysm in 2021 (also, the last proper conversation I had with him was to get mad at him for not doing enough to condemn the previous guy, even though that not fair at all and it's not his fault and I was just angry and unfairly taking it out on him, and I didn't know not to leave it on a bad note because he was going to die at 27, did I?)

Got in a really stupid argument with the rest of the team about practice locations, which we thought would just be a blip because we'd been friends for ten years, but that was almost two years ago and she hasn't spoken to any of us since

There's one guy whom I call my best friend and have for many years, I've known him since 2004 and have lived either with him or within a 15-minute walk from him since 2015 (longer if you leave out a couple of years when I was temporarily living outside the city but we knew it would be temporary and kept in close contact), he's still the same, might be moving into my house next month actually, but is also talking about buying a house in the suburbs soon after that

So that was that immediate group from pre-COVID. Other good friends I've had in recent years are now:

Married a woman who lived in Australia, moved there to be with her, has been back and forth between here and there at times since then, but they're trying for a kid now so once that happens he'll just be in Australia

Moved halfway across the country because his girlfriend got a job out there

Moved to the bigger city several hours away because he got a better job out there (x3)

Got engaged to her boyfriend and then pregnant and I haven't seen or heard from her since

Bought a house in the suburbs

Bought a house in the suburbs with her boyfriend, now pregnant

Most of my friends don't even have kids, but it still feels like every time we're together, we're trying to create something that's not there anymore. It's this awkward thing where we're trying to have a polite conversation and catch up on each other's news as though we didn't used to share everything all the time. There's another Kitson quote that's come into my head almost every time I've tried to do anything with friends this year; the quote's about having friends who used to live nearby come visit after they've moved away:

Trying, and failing to re-capture the glory days. Doing the things they used to do, saying the things they used to say, eating the things they used to eat, watching the television they used to watch. None of them noticing that the one thing that made those days so truly glorious was the complete absence of any effort being required.

I don't know how much of it is COVID and how much of it is just that people change when they get into their thirties, I know it's a combination of both. But I will say, I haven't heard many people hit that subject so hard. People skirt around it. People talk about how much it sucks if you're the only person among your friends to not be getting married and having kids, but they often say it sucks because they wish they could be doing those things too, not because they wish everyone else would just be going on with the same life they had in their twenties. Because they were the only one who didn't hear that everyone's supposed to grow up and move on from old friendships, and then they're appalled when anything changes. What do you mean, you didn't want to just do that forever? Well you should have said so at the time and I wouldn't have gotten so invested!

And yes, I know you can make new friends, but they're just going to get into relationships and have kids and move away too. And then I'll be appalled when things change all over again. You have fun for a while, but eventually it fades into sitting in someone's living room after not having seen them for six months and having a polite and superficial catch-up where you pretend that's normal while kind of wanting to flip tables like Jesus in the Temple.

Anyway, I'm doing fine. Have a new job and everything. Definitely not documenting a small breakdown on Tumblr.com. Will genuinely feel better after some sleep, probably.

[myrrhmaidwrites]

Sunstruck Writing Wrap-Up

I think I’m going to start posting writing wrap ups here for my own benefit. Writing about writing is supposed to make you better at it, or something.

This fic was not only my longest ever, but it also ended up spanning 12 google docs, 6 Word files, 8 pages in Notion, and 100+ DMs. If you think my writing process could use some improved organization, well, you’re right.

Originally, Sunstruck was about Trevor writing the book. He had finished it, and the book was in some ways a love letter to Jamie, and a lot of their conversations revolved around what was in the book. (Have you read The Next Next One? Yeah.)

Anyway, that didn’t end up happening. Somewhere along the way I switched the story to Jamie’s POV and moved away from the book idea. I just couldn’t get it to fit. I don’t think I’ll write a sequel to this, but if I did, it would be Trevor POV and it would be about the book.

Now I’m going to talk a little about the writing process for this fic.

16k words isn’t that many for a lot of people. For me, it’s the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I think that deserves some note. Woo! May there be longer fics to come. Also I genuinely have no idea how people write novels, haha. Practice, I suppose.

Shortly before I started this fic, I did some reading about various approaches to the editing process. The method I ended up using, which worked well for me, was to basically just get some words down for the first draft (“shitty first draft), and then rewrite the whole draft based on that. This worked well for me because I was able to get the pure words down pretty well via writing sprints and typing on my phone in bed before I went to sleep.

Then came the rewriting. I took one scene, slapped it in a column on Notion, and used it as a guide to write a new version of that scene. No copy+paste allowed, but I could rewrite the original words if I did want to keep them. I almost never kept them exactly. The second version of scenes were almost always better than the first.

During this period is when the story feels most like a confusing mess that I have to muddle through. I have scenes missing that I don’t know I need, I have to rearrange things and delete things and realize that something I wrote won’t work anymore because I changed something earlier. I’m constantly re-outlining, adding notes to scenes, writing new bits and deleting them, etc.

To give you an idea of some of the things I changed in this stage, in an earlier version of the fic, Jamie said something really heartfelt for Trevor’s video and they cut most of it out for the public video. Trevor only sees it after the Ducks staff send him the full video, and their reunion/get together scene happens at home the day after the ceremony.

At another point, I really wanted to have that long distance/breakup/dark night of the soul moment that would require a big gesture from Jamie (flying across the country for Trevor or similar). In the end, I couldn’t get it to work, so we have the condensed crisis that starts during the sex scene. I’m not mad about that change, but I do sometimes wonder if I could have made that scene hit harder if the separation/downturn had been worse.

Anyway, after getting through this horrible muddled mess, there’s a third re-writing, where I have the scenes mostly in order and I go through and rewrite everything from beginning to end for a third time. This time around, there’s a lot more that stays the same. What’s nice about the earlier stages is that when I write something I don’t like so much, I don’t have to worry about it at the moment because there’s an incredibly low chance it’ll make it to the final fic.

After the third rewriting is when I like to loop in my beta reader. I usually try to have a couple of specific questions for them as they read. I think technically this is called alpha reading (and beta reading is just for spelling/grammar), but if I’m honest, I need this kind of help more.

Then I go about incorporating changes from my beta reader, which usually involves a major overhaul of 1-2 scenes, almost always the finale and another scene in the second half of the fic.

After that, I go through and re-read the fic in order and look for places where I need to make major additions. This typically includes descriptions of emotions or settings and additions to dialogue where characters get to the point of what they’re trying to say far more quickly than is realistic.

Finally, in the last couple of days before posting, I look at sentence structure and word choice. I tend to use the same sentence structures over and over in my writing as well as certain words. In this phase, I try to mix it up as much more and make the sentences and words sound interesting.

In the “adding” and “sentence structure” phases of this fic, I added about 5k words. Yep, the fic was only about 11.5k words before this. That means the fic my beta reader read, while kind of close to the finished version, is also hugely different from the fic up on ao3. It’s kind of crazy to think about.

Finally, I do one last read for typos, and the fic goes up.

There’s one thing about this fic experience (and others I’ve had) that I haven’t really gotten to talk about yet, though.

This fic was part of a big bang, and as a part of that, I worked with a hard deadline, and I also had an artist relying on me to be finished so we could post at the same time. Last year, I participated in an exchange that had a similar type of deadline.

Both times, I’ve had horrible insomnia for ~3 weeks leading up to the deadline. We’re talking 3+ weeks of not sleeping, sleeping extremely poorly, or not sleeping without pills. (And I’m talking sedatives here, not melatonin. God, I wish melatonin did something useful for me.)

It didn’t matter that I could have pushed the deadline back. It didn’t matter that I could have just dropped out. It didn’t matter that I was actually quite on top of this fic and not particularly concerned about finishing on time. My brain was not interested in sleeping.

Luckily, I got through it. Most of this week after posting the fic I slept just fine. But it does make me think about whether doing something like this is useful for me, or sustainable in the long run. I really love the community aspect of writing fic. I doubt that without doing a bigbang that my fics would have art made for them. I doubt I would have produced such a long fic so quickly without a deadline.

Maybe these are just things that I need to accept about myself. If I don’t want to cause myself weeks of insomnia (and I don’t because it fucking sucks), maybe I need to just accept that. Really what I need to do is probably talk to my therapist about this, but it’s hard.

Does this happen to anyone else? Just me? Okay.

To end this on a less depressing note, one final observation I want to mention is that after I choose one fic to concentrate on, my ideas for other fics tend to slow down, and then once that idea is close to wrapping, they tend to speed up again. Now I’m stuck in the middle of 4-5 fic ideas and I want to write all of them. Of course I don’t have the time, and I’m sure I’ll end up concentrating on just one or two eventually. But for now I have like five different gdocs that I want to keep open at all times. It makes me wish I didn’t have a job so I could just write. (Plus my two anons that I owe fics to…oops!)

If you read this far, thank you. Sometimes it’s nice to hear whispers in the void when you know you should expect silence.

[calypsoff3]

Forty Six. Part 2

Tianna looked at me and I just looked at her “you think she’s telling the truth?” I asked, Tianna shrugged “I mean she wouldn’t be crying if she was lying, I mean what is that? How is she going to randomly say dad has something wrong with him? Since when? Dad is ok like I don’t get it” she said “yeah but parents keep things away from their kids, she was protecting us. Let’s google it, let’s see what it is, did she say borderline personality order?” Getting my phone out “yeah she said that, she said maybe it was hard for dad to be normal when he wasn’t” I huffed out “mhmmm” typing into google ‘what is borderline personality disorder’ because I don’t get it, what is that “mhmmm” scrolling down “ok so it says, people with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain” looking at Tianna “he does have bad mood swings, with mom anyways. We have seen him, and he disliked me so much, he disliked you too. Like there was no off button with him, she must be right. I mean how did he try and be normal? Wow, how do people get it?” Tapping on the link “I feel sad for him, I don’t know” taking in a deep breath “it’s a mental illness Ti, wow. Dad has a mental disorder, oh my god. Maybe that is why when we stay at his house, he’s always awake smoking, and when we see him, he just smiles like it’s nothing, but he didn’t sleep, oh I feel so sad that dad has this mental illness” oh I am so sad “it says that he won’t have a good relationship with loved ones and he actually doesn’t, he doesn’t have any people, he’s alone. The only cure is therapy, wow” locking my phone and stared off, I wasn’t expecting to hear that “he’s still dad and I want him home, he was good to us and that is what matters Rylee. I am not even ashamed, I love him more for trying to be himself” Tianna is right “yeah, but he doesn’t want to speak to anyone, wow. Now I upset mom, damn” of course I wouldn’t do that on purpose, but I needed answers, I’m hurt but I got it “how do we get dad to even speak to us?” I am getting asked things I can’t do.

I don’t want to be the horrible child so I thought I would see mom “Rylee” looking behind me “I can’t sleep” letting out an oh, Imani looks so sad “you can sleep in my bed, I’ll be back but I go to do something first” Imani walked off to go to my room, I feel like I have become mom in place of mom actually being here, she doesn’t understand that this has affected us all and she’s being all calm about shit is making us think she wanted this but clearly I misjudged her and she didn’t, it’s just a hard thing to wrap my head around because to me, dad is a good person and they are both so in love so what the fuck. Knocking on the bedroom door, I don’t want to barge in because I have pissed her off I think, I have said a lot of shit today, but I want answers and I want mom to tell me how to speak to him on top of that. She is taking her sweet time opening the door, the door opened “can I come in?” I asked, I don’t want to be like this, but I need answers because this is not good “sure, what is it now?” My mom said “I don’t want to upset you mom, but you need to see it from our side, dad has always been there for us, he loves us mom. I know he does and then I’m hearing all this stuff since the divorce, I get dad wasn’t perfect but who is, and now you tell us this. I love you mom and I love dad but right now we haven’t seen him for months, and I feel like right now we need, well I need to know dad is ok. I can only base things off what I see and clearly you’re happier and ok with things, mom you always know where dad is, you know what he is doing and now you just acting like you don’t care. If you can let me call to know then let me, I don’t care. I will file a missing person report so please” my mom stared me downe, she is pissed with me but it’s the truth “you have school in the morning” she just said which means she is telling me to fuck off.

Taking in a deep breath as I walked into the kitchen “morning” I said “mom is awake” my mom pulled a face at “yes I am awake” she said all confused what I am implying “no I’m awake” I’m going to piss my mother off and it’s not even been five minutes yet “oh be quiet Rylee, you’re just being silly now” I chuckled “I uhm, I have got the number for the guy you can contact about your dad” oh she did it “but you couldn’t do that before? But you did now?” My mom side eyed me “please” she said, nodding my head “I’ll text you it and do what you wish with it, I’m not going to get involved, I have my reasons on why too but it’s best you just explain who you are and why you are calling ok?” Least she is doing this for me “thanks mom, I just want to know he’s ok, that’s all. I don’t mean to make you sad” my mother squinted her eyes at me “everything about him is you; my face but you are your fathers daughter” I’ll take that as a compliment “I will text you and do not tell the younger kids, I am off to rehearsal. Amerie is in charge” nodding my head, least my mother gave me this number, well when she is ready to give it. I don’t know what I am going to be like when I hear my dad’ voice, I miss him so much, he is literally the light of this house “woah” I said seeing pawpaw “morning” staring at him “do you know where dad is?” I asked him “he doesn’t want to know” I knew he would say this “ok” walking by him “Tianna!!! We have things to do, North will be here” we have plans to do.

Staring at the number my mother has now sent me “that is a British number and could charge you a lot for calling it” I shrugged “you mean charge my mother?” I retorted “oh you’re right” she pointed “well I will be telling this person” tapping on the number, see what I don’t get is that why my mother can’t do this, she is making me do it when she is the adult acting a child “Hello Maxwell here” he answered “hi, Rylee here” I have no idea what to say now “erm who is this? Are you my client?” I frowned “no; listen here. I am Chris Brown daughter; you have my dad with you. I want you to give him back now” the phone line went silent “I mean it!” I added “I will report you, tell me where my dad is right now!” I half shouted “so you’re Chris’ daughter, ok. Well no need to threaten, I will let him know” my heart dropped “you have seen him?” I said, my tone of voice toned down “yes, he is in London” letting out an oh “I really miss him, I will be waiting for his call and if I don’t I am giving the police your name and number, you tell me where my dad is? Clearly you are British so where is he?” North is laughing “I will discuss it with him Rylee” he’s so calm “ok, well hurry up. Clock is ticking” putting the phone down on him “dad is in London I think, well I will be waiting, I will not let this die” North and I high fived.

Opening the door for Maxwell “you’re awake today” he said as he walked in “mhmm” I just said “your mood stabilizer tablets, I bought them with me. How is Christopher doing today?” closing the door “I am good, I am well rested anyways. Thanks for the tablets, I am going to the studio today. Seeing Oakley and them” Maxwell turned to me “right, so I have just been threatened today. You know what, I have turned into your assistant” I laughed “nah, nah. You my best friend Maxwell, like you a real one. I appreciate you and your family so much, your wife for even putting up with me at the house too, you have been the best. I ain’t see you as that, thank you” Maxwell smiled “well, that made me happy but Chris, I have had a worrying phone call, I was threatened and told that she is going to call the police on me, the threat was very real, I also had your mother call me too. But do you know someone called Rylee?” I froze and then breathed out laughing “why?” Maxwell side eyed me “she called me and said she misses her dad Chris and we spoke on this, you want your new life here but you have the children that you do love and you miss them. This is why you’re getting emotional, speak to her. She wants you to call her, maybe this is your opening to call the kids. I don’t think they hate you like you think, I get you was saying that you think they will hate you, that they would have forgotten you, but they haven’t, so if I give you the number, what you think to calling?” rubbing my face “I let them go, they going to know this. I know that her family will make it know, maybe it is a ploy” Maxwell shook his head “maybe it’s a daughter wanting to speak to her dad? This is the change you need to contact them” he said.

It has been months, like it’s been a while since I have even contacted the kids, seen the kids. I haven’t thought of the kids because I have been trying to better myself, I have been wanting to make myself better for them really but I am scared of being judged as a bad person when I am not, just I have been through a lot, the fact I am on tablets because my moods were that bad, Robyn just tipped me over the edge, she really did and then she divorced me at my lowest too so fuck it “do it when you’re ready, Chris you do know that your milk is out of date, you haven’t been having it have you?” shaking my head “I have been just sleeping so no” tapping on the number, I don’t know how to feel. I mean the point is, I am not going back to America. I am happy here, that place is so toxic and not good for me. I have made friends here too. Rylee is going to think who the hell is this number calling her, it is a UK number too “hello” Rylee answered and her voice just hit me “hey baby” she gasped “dad? Oh my god, dad. No, what? It’s really you, it’s really you” she sobbed out crying, biting on my bottom lip hearing her cry “don’t cry” my voice broke, covering my face with my hand as I started to cry “dad where have you been? Oh wow, you scared me, what the hell” she said through her sobs, hearing Rylee speak to me, hearing her cry “it’s been hard” I said “I was waiting for you to come back but then nothing, I realised you wasn’t oh god. I am so glad to hear you, wow. I am literally in my bedroom, what is happening?” wiping my tears “a lot Rylee, but I miss you kids so much. God” I am hurting “I bet you girls have grown, I mean it’s been a while but I know you look different” my daughter’s, I miss them so much “let’s face time, come on dad. Show me your face! I’m going to do it” I can’t even say no to that.

I couldn’t help but cry when I saw Rylee on the camera “dad you look so skinny, wow. It’s so good seeing you” I smiled at the camera “do you hate me? How are the kids? How are you all? Tell me?” I asked, I want to know how they are “none of us hate you, we all miss you dad. Just want to know where you was, I have so much to tell you dad but tell me about you? What are doing? I feel like I have had to grow up, like when everything happened I went on defensive mode, my siblings were hurting. So many blogs about it all, but I was most concerned for you so tell me more?” Rubbing my chin blowing out air “I am going to be honest with you Rylee, I am going to move here. I am happier here and also I don’t want to be near your mom and things, I just don’t want the drama. I fucked up though, I don’t have any rights to you or to even fight for time with you kids, your mom has taken that from me, but when I am ready. I will try, I am just happy to see you, to know you kids don’t hate me” Rylee shook her head “we love you so much dad” I breathed out and just cried out.

[annieintheaair]

If you like red hot chili peppers, 4th of July weather... you're gonna love liking me spicy

I was on Catalina Island one summer with my aunt, uncle, and cousins when I was a teenager. We were on a tour when we came across a buffalo giving birth. Everyone was taking pictures. I don’t know why but I didn’t feel like I needed a photo. My uncle said something to me about how the best photos are in our minds and don’t require a physical photo. While I don’t have a photo of the buffalo that day, I do have the photo in my mind.

Over the years, Dan and I never took many photos. While I find it sad sometimes that we didn’t have more, I know in my heart that all those mental images, the photos in my brain, are safe where no one can take them away from me. With him gone now, the pictures in my head are almost like a secret that I hold, only to ever be known by myself and Dan. There’s something special about that.

I got home last night and looked through some mostly blurry photos from the day. Nothing really captured any of it properly. When the night came to a close and I rode on the front of the boat, the wind blowing through my hair, and I didn’t have my phone to take any pictures. I sat up there and watched at least 15 different fireworks displays around the lake. I don’t think any picture would have captured it the way that I’ll forever remember it in my mind.

A lot of life lately hasn't gone as planned and I've had a lot of difficult days with low motivation. I somehow managed to survive my five-day stretch, with not much accomplished during the day at home. I made it to some yoga classes and tried to work on projects for my second job. When I do make it out to run errands, it often feels like I need to just keep going before I go home and quit before I get far enough.

When I finished my stretch of five on Tuesday, I decided I'd try to power through the day as best as I could. I only took about a fifteen-minute nap that afternoon before I had to get ready for yoga. My dad texted me reminding me that it was Taco Tuesday so I decided I'd go to MiCocina for dinner after yoga. I was the only person on the patio but I sat out there enjoying my brisket tacos and skinny smash margaritas.

Do you ever feel like you're really enjoying something and then something sneaks up on you and tries to ruin it? That's how I felt eating dinner that night. I turned around, and even though I had been to that MiCocina many times, and that shopping center even more times, I never noticed the church there. I immediately had to Google it. It looked so familiar to me, almost identical to the church that Todd tried to show me in Arkansas. As it turned out, the Marty Leonard Community Chapel here in Fort Worth was actually designed by the same architect, E. Fay Jones, who designed Thorncrown Chapel, in Arkansas. I couldn't help but wonder if he knew that this chapel was here in Texas.

Anyway, I got home from dinner that night and went straight to bed. I considered stopping at Central Market but decided against it and instead drove back there on Wednesday before work. I picked up some food to get through the week and even bought fruit to make sangria.

I was a little disappointed Wednesday night since the people I was supposed to work with all dropped and called out at the last minute, so I ended up being the most senior person on my crew. It wasn't terrible but it wasn't the best either.

Thursday morning, the 4th of July, I had an easy ride home without traffic. It was a nice change. I got some work done and then took a nap on my couch for a bit and then headed out and arrived at the lake by 4:30pm.

We spent some time on the dock, grilling, eating, and drinking, and then at around 6:30pm, we took the boats out to find a spot for the fireworks. We dropped the anchors and everyone got out to swim and float as we waited for the sun to set and the fireworks to start. It was so amazing the way that we could see at least fifteen different fireworks displays all around the lake. I had never seen so many going off at once so it was quite the experience. It was a lot of fun so I didn't take many pictures but here are a few:

Maybe this year has been so unexpected and so far from the plans I had in my mind, but I'm learning to accept the changes in my life, knowing that God has a plan for me, even though sometimes I struggle to understand.

The ride home felt extra long last night. It took me nearly an hour so by the time I got home, I was hungry and it was midnight. I made some gnocchi with pesto and watched TV before asking my dogs if they wanted to go to bed and they both immediately jumped off the couch.

I'm flying tonight but we have a lot more ground time than normal so I should hopefully be able to get some decent sleep. I'll be off the rest of the weekend when I get home at 6am tomorrow and then unfortunately go on reserve on Monday. I'm hoping to meet up with a new friend from bff, Gina, so we'll see what happens with that. My realtor has also been looking for places for me and saw a townhouse the other day that I really liked but they wouldn't accept a 2-year lease, which made me too nervous to go through with it.

Well, who knows what the weekend will bring!

xoxo

Annie

[returntosaturn271995]

A manic-depressive guide to going on a run

Step one: wait until you’re manic. 

I’m totally kidding. You’ve got to save that shit for your capitalist gig. It takes a certain kind of energy to send an email with an appropriate amount of exclamation points. (None makes you read overly-serious, more than two makes you look like an idiot. I don’t make the rules.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, running while depressed, the dynamic duo of never-gunna-happen. Oil and water, a dentist appointment after a music festival, anal sex and Indian food. 

They should just exist separately. 

After all, running of any kind is about effort. Even the relaxed gentle kind of run, the kind you can breathe during. It’s about warming up your body and pushing forward. Mentally and physically. 

Depression is about staying put. Stuck flat on your back in a desolate emotional tundra and not caring if birds of prey peck your eyes out. One of my favorite tweets ever described it thus: “I want a Paranormal Activity movie with all depressed people. That way when furniture moves in the middle of the night, they just roll over and go “whatever”.”

I love that attitude, I’ve had that attitude. You can take my soul, satan, if you can even get anything from someone so dead inside. Just leave me the bed and the pillow I use to separate my knees. 

Some say you need a good reason to run. Maybe that’s why you googled “running and depression” to begin with. But reasons only work when you’re already inspired. The have a markedly less persuasive effect when grief sits on your chest or anxiety sends sharp little pangs to your lower stomach. 

Here’s how some decent rationale have gone over with bed-ridden me in the past.

You’ll feel better.

No I won’t. I’ll feel this way forever. Moods don’t exist and cycles don’t apply to me. I know I’ve said that before, but this time I’m sure.

You know you’ll feel better

I don’t want to feel better. I deserve this. 

(Yup, a real response, I even used to withhold my medication from myself when I was hungover as ‘punishment’”)

Do it for Mom

Ugh, now I just feel lazy and guilty

Do it for Dad

The man who gave me these short shins? He’s done enough. 

Do it to look good naked

For the sex drive I don’t have?

Run because…feminism?

Go fuck yourself. 

Run because it’s good for you

What does that have to with anything?

Run because you can

I’m tired. Couldn’t I just go in to a coma, instead?

It goes on and on. Reason doesn’t work when you’re in a state that supersedes logic. Here’s the thing, the voice in your head isn’t the enemy. It’s trying to protect you in its own way. Shutting you down until you can turn on again, like a buffering web page or an iPhone you left in the sun too long. 

It’s not about the benefits of running. You already know on some level you can do it. You already know it will improve your life and that you actually will feel better once you start.

It’s just so fucking impossible to start. 

The end. 

Kidding again! See how much fun we’re having? 

So here’s my brutally honest experience with running when you’re burnt out and down. My fool-proof methods to keeping it up even when you almost shit yourself. (If you’re a runner and this has never happened to you, I do not believe you. Even if you’re telling the truth, I need to think it’s universal, okay?).

Here’s the most horrible truth of all: it’s totally worth it, and you’re absolutely capable. 

No-shut up. Seriously- shut up. Look at me when I’m speaking to you through your phone.  

Running is depression’s kryptonite, the natural predator. It isn’t about speed or distance or your shoes or the app or the size of your ass or the Instagram post of the 5 K (I looked like shit in that photo anyways). 

It isn’t about your ex or your future ex or whoever you fantasize about fantasizing about you. It’s easy to not care about that kind of thing in the moment. It’s never been enough to get in the habit of running in the past. 

For me, running is about getting out of bed. It’s about changing clothes, listening to music and going outside. It’s about keeping a simple promise to myself, “today, if you do nothing else, you will run for a little bit”. Then you can go back to happily rotting, swearsies, cross your future heart disease and hope to die. 

It’s not about anything else other than getting a little sunlight and telling yourself that at least you fucking tried. That it’s a literal positive step.

The best source of energy is purpose and hydration. The purpose is what keeps you going when fatigue trumps reason. But that’s something I learned later. 

For right now, it’s all just baby steps. Getting up, changing your clothing, and going outside. You don’t even have to wash your hair. All joggers are filthy anyway (another lesson for another day). 

If you already feel like shit, then you might as well feel like shit and get a little cardio. But that’s all I’m ever coaching because the rest is just my experiences. The things I’ve learned and steps I’ve taken (God, when did I become this person? It’s so embarrassing to have hope. I was so much cooler when I lacked muscle tone and cried all the time). 

Running doesn’t cure anything, but it's helping me become the person who can heal myself a little easier. 

It’s a tool that’s there for you, if you want it. 

[hajimesh]

𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙚𝙛𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩 — olympic team / fem reader

[ atsumu, sakusa, suna, kageyama, gao, bokuto, hinata, iwaizumi, oikawa ]

the stress of the first match seems to be taking a toll on the team's spirit, and you refuse to sit and watch them fail when you know you can be of help. but can you really handle all of them?

(or, where you end up having a gang bang with 8 professional volleyball players, and 1 athletic trainer)

⥅ word c. 7,928

⥅ warnings. sub reader, gang bang, foursomes, voyeurism?, fellatio, cum play, vaginal penetration, anal, unprotected sex, creampie, facial, size + stomach bulging kink, praise kink, mild degradation, double penetration, pussy job (for like, one second), double vaginal penetration, fingering, squirting, overstimulation, someone passes out, aftercare

⥅author n. brought to u thanks to this tweet + @kmorgzz​ who suggested adding iwaoi to the mix

special mention to my wife and love of my life, runa. @tsumue​ u had me laughing at 4am as i read ur comments in the google doc. i don't know what i'd do without u, tysm for beta and putting up with me for the past week ♡ 

ps. im v sorry if ur fave didn't make the cut (╥_╥) i added the ones im more familiar with, in terms of writing

if someone had told you you’d be attending the olympic games not as a spectator but as part of japan’s team, you’d have never believed them. but here you are, sitting in the same room with the most skilled players in the country as none other than their personal assistant.

“iwaizumi-san! do you think kageyama and i could pull off a quick attack right at the beginning of the set?”

“shoyo-kun, if there’s someone you’ll be doing the quick attack with it’s me,” atsumu’s eyes land on kageyama, smirking at the other setter from across the room, “right, tobio-kun?”

“you’re a disgrace.”

sakusa’s statement earns an offended scoff from the blond setter, the rest of the team rolling their eyes and sighing at the all-too-familiar scene.

“oi! we don’t have time for petty fights!”

after iwaizumi gets everyone’s attention back on him, he barely finishes explaining tomorrow’s match opponents and their plays without losing the team’s attention. he might be there to train them and make sure they’re on top of their game, but he knows when the team is lacking morale and, sadly, today’s one of those days.

the meeting is over and all of you go to the dining hall, fetching your dinner and sitting on your respective table with you right next to iwaizumi.

since you took that part-time job at the msby jackals, you quickly caught onto their small tics and tell-tale signs when something isn’t right. atsumu becomes a complete asshole which makes sakusa lose his temper sooner than usual. meanwhile, bokuto and hinata become very fidgety, often causing a bit of chaos around them as clumsiness radiates off of them.

when the national team was announced, you were offered the job as the trainer’s assistant—all thanks to the jackals who recommended you to their superiors for said position. your pay-check might say you’re just iwaizumi’s assistant, but you’re basically there to cover the needs of the entire team—all of them.

“iwa-chan!”

your head snaps to the side as a good-looking man takes the last free seat next to iwaizumi.

“aren’t you supposed to be sitting with your team?” iwaizumi asks him, taking a bite of his food while waiting for an answer.

the unknown man huffs exaggeratedly, rolling his eyes as he too starts to eat, “thought you’d miss your best friend.”

“hanamaki isn’t here.”

the stranger opens his mouth to reply, clearly offended by iwizumi’s words, when he notices you peeping at him.

“oh? hi! i think we haven’t met,” he shoots you a charming smile, bringing out his remarkably handsome features, “oikawa tooru, it’s nice to meet you.”

you introduce yourself, bowing at him and focusing back on your food.

both friends start to discuss tomorrow’s events, which inevitably brings out iwaizumi’s concern for his players.

“they seem off,” he’s playing around with the food as he stares at the players sitting in the table in front of yours, “i don’t know if i should talk to them or let them be.”

he’s clearly concerned for them, you can see it in his eyes—the doubt, wondering if he has been doing a good job with the team.

“iwaizumi-san, i-i… perhaps i could aid them this time?”

his head snaps in your direction, a mix of surprise and worry taking over his face, “no way, that’d be too much for you.”

oikawa’s eyebrows scrunch up as he observes you two but says nothing, choosing to listen attentively at you trying to convince iwaizumi while the latter sighs and reminds you that it’s not just the jackals this time.

it takes a while for iwaizumi to accept your offer, pondering the pros and cons, but he ends up accepting it; for everyone’s sakes.

“i’m lost.”

oikawa’s words make your insides flare-up, looking down at your hands in order to avoid looking at him, his curious eyes switching between his best friend and you.

iwaizumi ignores him, standing up from his seat and walking to the table in front of you with you and oikawa watching closely. the team turns to look at him, waiting for him to speak since it’s obvious it has to be something important by the severe look on his face.

“seeing as some of you are clearly out of it, our assistant here has very kindly volunteered to help you guys for tonight.”

a few heads immediately perk up, looking at you with bright eyes once you answer their silent question with a smile.

“please, be good to her. i’ll be there supervising anyways, so don’t think of trying anything funny.”

“oikawa-san! you’re coming with us, right?” hinata looks expectantly at said male, excitement clear in the redhead’s eyes, “she’s the best!”

both iwaizumi and you freeze on the spot, gauging oikawa’s reaction who only looks more confused.

“you’re welcome to join us, if you so desire,” it’s you who’s offering it this time, surprising iwaizumi and earning a worried glance from him.

oikawa can’t deny he’s dying to know what everyone’s so excited about, and after thinking about it for a few more seconds, he has made up his mind.

“shall we go, then?”

—

“alright, ground rules.”

just a handful of the team sits in the room, the ones who know what’s happening waiting eagerly for the green light while the rest wonders what the fuss is about. as much as you want to help them all, it’d be impossible; which is why iwaizumi picked the ones he thought needed the morale boost the most.

with a nod in your direction, he lets you know you’re free to speak.

“the jackals already know this,” you say and atsumu snickers from his seat, winking at you as hinata and bokuto nod excitedly, “but i’m not too strict about the entire thing.”

you can feel the pairs of curious eyes burning holes in you—trying to decipher what’s going on. so, after taking a deep breath and getting an awkward, encouraging smile from iwaizumi, you start voicing out the rules.

“please, be patient. there are so many of you and only one of me. i promise you’ll get your turn,” you give atsumu a pointed look, and this time it's sakusa who snorts while the blond setter rolls his eyes, “which brings me to the next rule, no seconds.”

a hand raises in the air, making you advert your attention to its owner. 

“i still don’t get what’s happening,” suna’s eyes narrow down at you, noticing the embarrassment and hesitation in your posture.          

“don’t worry, suna. we’ll show ya.”

“shut it, miya.”

clearing up your throat, you smile coyly at the middle blocker, “it’ll make sense once i finish explaining, suna-san.”

he shrugs but stays quiet. taking into account the jackals’ reactions plus the cryptic rules, an idea has already formed in his mind. but it couldn’t be that. right?

“uh, again, only one round. all entrances are fine,” you pause, going through the rules in your head to see if there’s anything you might be forgetting, “oh! and you’ll be paired up in teams of three to make things faster.”

“one more thing,” iwaizumi speaks up, this time looking at you instead of the awaiting men, “don’t forget to let us know how you’re doing.”

two loud claps break the tense atmosphere, “well, we should get started then,” atsumu raises from his spot and walks towards you. his hands cradle your face between them and lift it so you can face him properly, “what do ya say, princess?”

his lips land on yours before you can reply to him, a small squeal getting stuck in your throat when his hands travel down your body until he’s squeezing your ass.

you’re too caught up in the kiss to notice the new presence looming behind you.

“i’ll take your pussy before anyone can taint it with their dick.”

sakusa’s words make you shudder. you break apart from atsumu’s mouth to turn around and face him, his dark eyes alluring and drawing you towards him.

“oi, newbie,” atsumu calls out to suna who scoffs in return, “c’mere and join us.”

meanwhile, sakusa guides you to the bed, making you sit on his lap as you wait for the other two to show up. once they do, atsumu immediately settles behind you while suna stands awkwardly at the foot of the bed. it’s hard for you to read his expression since you’re not too familiar with him, so you offer him a reassuring smile and pat the spot next to you. 

the rest of the team watches from their seats as the four of you get started. 

suna lifts your chin, his eyes staring down at you before leaning down and kissing the corner of your mouth. he trails down your neck until he reaches your chest, sucking on the skin gently before running his tongue over the delicate area. in the meantime, atsumu unbuttons your blouse, taking it off and playing with your breasts while sakusa busies himself with taking your pants off.

“i get the hype, now,” suna whispers in your ear, blowing air on it and then biting down on your earlobe, making the hairs of your body rise.

his lips capture yours in a slow kiss —savoring your taste— and one of his hands goes to the back of your neck to keep you in place. his teeth play with your bottom lip, biting it softly and pulling away, his hooded eyes calculating your reaction.

“don’t get too excited, suna,” atsumu says from his spot behind you, pinching your nipples between his fingers and prompting a whine to escape your lips, “you’ll only get her mouth.”

“mhm, is that so?” suna’s question is directed towards you rather than atsumu, tilting your chin up and smirking at the dazed look in your eyes, “can’t wait to see that pretty mouth bulging with my cock, then.”

his lewd words earn a few coughs and clearing throats from the rest, which he chooses to ignore when your hand cups his growing bulge.

“enough you two, let the poor woman have a bit of pleasure too,” sakusa’s dark eyes look at you questioningly, silently asking if you’re ready to continue.

in return, you cup his face with your free hand and kiss his cheek—knowing he wouldn’t appreciate a kiss on the mouth when you just finished making out with another man.

they finish getting you out of your clothes until your bare cunt is hovering over sakusa’s lap. he’s quick to undress and ease his cock into you, suna and atsumu observing as they get rid of their clothes as well.

“fuck,” sakusa groans in your ear, the position allowing you to hide your face in his neck and wrap your arms around his shoulders, “always so tight.”

“scoot over, i need to prep her ass.”

suna snorts at atsumu’s words, pumping his cock twice before kneeling on the mattress—right next to you. he pats your cheek with the swollen head, looking down at you with a faint smirk.

“open up.”

your eyes immediately focus on his length, your mouth watering at the sight. you open your mouth and stick your tongue out, looking up at him and observing as he rests the tip on your tongue. 

“looking so pretty with a cock in your mouth,” he slowly slides in, guiding your head down until half of him is inside, “so warm.” 

a cold liquid dribbles on your backside, making you flinch forward and causing suna’s cock to slide in even more.

“relax, baby. it’s just me,” atsumu rubs the liquid on your asshole, playing with it with his finger before finally sliding it in.

your muscles contract involuntarily, making sakusa groan as he keeps still inside your pussy, waiting for you to grow used to the multiple things going on around you.

“hurry up before i start fucking her.”

a second finger slides in and you moan around suna’s cock, spit running at the corners of your mouth which reminds you to swallow. you hollow your cheeks and retract your mouth until only the tip remains inside, running your tongue over the slit and making the middle blocker shudder.

“someone’s hungry,” he muses.

you hum around him, bobbing your head back and forth and pumping the rest of his length with one hand.

“i’m gonna try get in now, okay?” atsumu taps your ass with his cock, lining it up with your asshole and thrusting in. he watches as the head of his cock finally slips in, groaning when the familiar tightness engulfs him, “that’s it, baby. doin’ so good for me.”

you have to remove your mouth from suna’s cock to avoid biting down on him, the stretch slightly more painful than pleasurable which eventually leads to you tensing up even more. 

“you gotta relax,” atsumu says under his breath, strained by the way you feel around his dick.

it takes you around a minute to calm down, taking deep breaths until you feel yourself loosen up and, with one last push, he’s finally inside.

“omi?” you say against his neck, “could you move a bit, please?”

said man grunts as he starts to move his hips, your slick helping his cock glide in, “color.”

it takes you a few seconds to understand what he meant.

“oh! uhh, green.”

atsumu’s thrusts are slow —testing the waters— since the last thing he wants is to get yelled at for being too rough, too soon. but you’re growing impatient, moving your hips backwards and trying to get more of him inside of you.

“m-more, ‘tsumu. i can take it,” you say and he immediately complies, his muscular thighs now slapping against your ass.

suna remains kneeling next to you, cock in his hand as he waits for you to bring your attention back to him. but he doesn’t have to wait too long, your hand wrapping around his cock and guiding it back into your mouth once you’ve set a steady pace with the other two men.

“thought you had forgotten about me.”

he pushes your hair out of your face, watching your lips wrap around his girth. it’s taking all of his willpower to not hold your head and fuck your face until you’re gagging around him, afraid it might be a big ‘no’ from you. and since it’s the first time he’s getting to experience this, he decides to take whatever’s given to him.

“you’re so wet,” sakusa points out as he looks down at where you two are connected, observing his cock slide in and out of your cunt, covered with your slick.

“‘course she is, she’s being stuffed by three cocks.”

“feels good…” your manage to say after releasing suna with a pop, pumping his shaft with your hand, “a-am i making you feel better?”

a hand lands on your ass, causing you to yelp and tighten your hold on suna’s cock. 

“what do ya think, hm? we’re getting our dicks wet in none other but our slutty little assistant's holes,” atsumu plays with your ass, squeezing it and humming when the imprint of his hands appears on the soft flesh.

“mhm, quite the slut you are,” sakusa whispers in your ear, kissing your neck afterwards, “as long as i get to make a mess out of that cunt of yours before anyone else, i will always enjoy these little sessions of ours.”

your eyes land on suna, waiting for him to say his thoughts on the matter.

his gaze drops to your hand, covered in his pre-cum and your spit which sends a jolt to his cock, making it throb in your hand.

“can’t say i hate it.”

you smile at his words, recognizing the challenge hidden behind them. your mouth wraps around the flushed tip, eyes closing when both sakusa and atsumu thrust up into your holes at the same time. you try to keep your hand steady as you suck suna off, but the lewd grunts and moans coming from them, plus their cocks filling you so nicely make your rhythm falter every once in a while.

a hand starts toying with your clit, causing you to moan around suna’s cock. the vibrations make him shudder, scowling at himself when he realizes his orgasm is approaching faster than he expected.

“fuck, fuck– princess? do you mind if i cum inside?” atsumu grunts.

your muscles clench at the thought of being filled with his cum, imagining the thick liquid oozing out of your sensitive holes only to stuff it back in with your fingers.

“y-yes, ‘tsumu. cum inside me,” you pant as your hands squeeze suna’s cock, pumping it faster as you notice his hips jerking towards you. you turn your face to look at sakusa, who has his eyebrows drawn upwards and his mouth open slightly as he too feels overwhelmed by the pleasure, “omi, you can cum inside as well.”

and he doesn’t need to be told twice, his large hands holding you by your hips so he can thrust his cock into your drenched cunt faster.

moans and squelching noises echo around the room. atsumu picks up his pace as he feels his orgasm approaching, his deep grunts fanning over your neck and taking over your hearing. the drag of sakusa’s pubic bone against your clit has you cumming shortly after. your head rolls forward as both men keep thrusting in and out of you, only stopping once their cum fill your clenching holes.

“shit– look at me,” suna orders you, and you barely have time to process what’s happening.

his cum lands on your face, his hand helping you pump his throbbing cock as the ropes of cum cover your skin. he exhales heavily once he’s done, brushing the flushed head of his cock over your swollen lips, and smearing the white liquid around them.

it’s silent for a few seconds, save for the heavy breathing and pants coming from your mouths.

“holy shit,” oikawa’s voice breaks the silence. his cock strains almost painfully against his pants at the sight of what awaits him.

“yeah, holy shit,” atsumu laughs off, brushing his hair out of his face with one hand as he massages the flesh of your ass with the other, “ya never disappoint, princess.”

with a grunt, the blond setter removes his softening cock from you, his honey eyes —plus a few curious ones— observing the way his cum dribbles out from your stretched hole. the same thing happens with sakusa, who lifts your hips off of him, his cock falling on his stomach and the mix of your slick and his cum dripping down on his length.

atsumu’s fingers immediately go to your cunt, pumping the juices back into you, “god, you love this. don’t you, baby?”

all you can do is whine, your hands clenching the sheets until he removes his fingers from your sensitive pussy, and stuffs them inside your mouth. 

“we all get a turn?” kageyama whispers not so discreetly to hinata, who only nods eagerly in return.

you lick atsumu’s fingers clean which earns you a radiant smile from him.

“here.”

suna has his arm outstretched, handing you a tissue so you can clean your face.

“thank you,” you take it from his hands as you climb off of sakusa’s lap.

you’re cleaning the residues of cum on your face when a hand falls on top of your head. 

“drink some water before you start the next round,” sakusa’s dark eyes suddenly seem warmer and kinder to you, patting your head before disappearing into the bathroom.

after tossing the used tissue away, you turn to iwaizumi and give him a firm nod.

“who’s next?”

your dazzling smile has the rest of the men in awe, silently praying it’s them who get to feel your body with their hands next.

“bokuto,” the wing spiker’s immediately perks up at the sound of his name, “you, kageyama, and hakuba are next.”

the three men raise from their seats and make their way towards the bed—towards you.

“hey, bo,” you offer a loving smile to him, “you ready?”

his strong arms wrap around you, kissing your cheek loudly and making you giggle, “it feels as if i’ve been waiting forever. of course, i’m ready!”

meanwhile, kageyama and gao stand at the foot of the bed, waiting for any instructions or a signal from you that could tell them when to start. luckily, you’re quick to notice their hesitation.

”is there a particular place where you want to be?” you ask them, looking specifically at kageyama and gao, since you want to make sure they feel included.

“dibs on your mouth!”

you blush at bokuto’s enthusiasm but accept his request, stroking his cheek as you wait for the other two to answer.  

“i’ll take whatever,” kageyama says and scratches the back of his neck.

“me too,” gao smiles and takes a few steps towards you, making bokuto move away from you. his large hand tucks one piece of your hair away, his eyes staring at yours before dropping to your lips, “although, i think i’d like it better if i had your pussy gripping my cock. wouldn’t you like that?”

he presses his front against yours, his erection poking at your belly which earns a small gasp from you. you have to stop yourself from taking a look at the tent in his sweatpants, trying to figure out how much of him there is hidden inside the fabric.

“o-okay.”

the middle blocker smiles at you before diving down to your lips. his hands grab your waist, lifting you up from the ground and making you wrap your legs around his torso. he gently places you down on the bed and kisses his way down your neck until his mouth is right above your erect nipple.

“hey! i want to kiss her too,” bokuto complains, “you can’t hog her like that.”

“s’okay bo, come here.”

he doesn’t have to be told twice, immediately climbing onto the bed and leaning down to kiss your lips.

you grab the back of his head and run your fingers through his soft hair, pulling on it gently which causes a groan to rumble in his chest.

a pair of hands slide over your legs, pushing them apart until your bare cunt is spread wide open for everyone to see.

“you’re dripping, babe,” gao murmurs over your nipple, giving it a light tug before flicking his tongue over it, “do you want my cock that badly?”

you can only moan and nod, your lips still busy with bokuto’s.

but there’s someone who still has yet to join you.

“tobio-chan, if you’re not going to do anything then let me take your place instead.”

oikawa’s words snap you out of your daze. you pat bokuto’s cheek signaling him to let go of you, and the same thing happens with gao as you try to sit up. your eyes fall on kageyama who stands at the same spot with a conflicted look and an obvious erection in his pants. 

“hey,” you crawl your way towards him and sit on your knees, “are you uncomfortable?”

his mouth opens but nothing comes out of it. he can feel the weight of everyone’s stare on him, making him look away from you. 

a few seconds pass and there’s still no answer.

“you don’t have to do this, you know?” you say in a small tone, slightly confused as to why he’s rejecting you, “i just thought… i could help you relax.”

he nods, still avoiding your gaze.

you take a look at iwaizumi –who looks as equally as puzzled as you– before looking back at the setter.

“do you want to leave?”

at this, his head finally snaps towards you, “no, i-” he pauses. his eyes are immediately drawn to your mouth, making him involuntarily wet his lips, “i want to stay.”

relief washes over you, a timid smile spreading on your lips which is quickly mirrored by him. you take his hand in yours and guide him to the other side of the bed, urging him to join the rest of you. there’s a hunger in his eyes that has your pussy dripping with your slick, a sigh leaving your lips when your back hits the pillows as you watch him take gao’s previous spot.

“kiss me, tobio.”

and he does. it starts slow, hesitant, but it soon turns desperate. his tongue strokes yours before sucking on it, spit coating your lips thanks to the messiness of the kiss. the strain of his cock inside his pants becomes too uncomfortable to his liking, causing him to start humping against you, trying to relieve himself.

noticing his predicament, you move your hand between your bodies and palm his hard-on. he groans against your lips, his hips jerking forward seeking more of your touch.

in the meantime, both bokuto and gao pump their cocks with their hands, having taken their clothes off while you talked to kageyama.

gao squeezes the head of his cock between his hands, pre-cum oozing from the slit as he imagines the way your cunt is going to grip him, “babe, you’re making us suffer.”

“get in line!”

“atsumu, shut the fuck up.”

“baby?” bokuto asks from where he stands, his own cock stiff and ready to be inside your mouth, “we don’t mean to be pushy, but do you think you could get to us soon?”

“bokuto-san, you’re going to break a rule!” hinata says, clearly concerned for his teammate, “be patient, remember?”

the rest of the team laughs and you can’t help but join them.

at this, bokuto pouts playfully at you, “you’re just teasing me, baby.”

“then come here,” you gasp when kageyama’s mouth sucks at the base of your neck, “y-you wanted my mouth, right?”

bokuto kneels next to your face, patting the leaking tip on your lips.

“i’m going to fuck that pretty mouth of yours and you’re going to take it like a good girl,” he says, his tone leaving no room for questions, “open.”

you comply immediately, lolling out your tongue and waiting for him to rest his heavy cock on top of it. 

the lewd sight in front of him makes bokuto shudder. his hands grasp your head, pushing you down his length until he feels your throat constricting around him.

“fuck– baby,” he grunts and gives a shallow thrust, “i know you can do better than that.”     

you try to relax your jaw so you can fit more of him inside of your mouth. but as you are about to graze your nose against his pubic bone, a finger runs between your folds causing you to flinch.

“i’m still here.”

gao’s tone sounds stern, even if a playful smile tugs his lips upwards, you can see the seriousness swirling in his eyes.

kageyama sighs and leaves your side, stepping away momentarily to take his pants off. 

the middle blocker takes it as his chance to settle between your legs as bokuto keeps your mouth busy.

“you’re drenched, sweetheart,” he muses, running his digits over your slit, “don’t worry, i’ll fill this pussy with my cock so well that you’ll be cumming in no time.”

your eyes travel to his shaft, watching as he pumps it twice before running it between your folds. your brows furrow when you notice how heavy it feels, making you wonder if it will fit in.

he lines himself up with your hole, pushing the head inside which is enough to have you whining around bokuto’s cock.

“you look so sexy,” bokuto groans, pushing your head away from him and watching your spit run down your mouth. he looks at kageyama who stands awkwardly with his cock in hand, “i guess we’re sharing her mouth.”

the setter’s eyes widen slightly before nodding, mimicking bokuto’s position and nudging his cock on your lips, “suck.”

your breath hitches at his order, caught off guard by his demanding tone. you grab his cock from the base and guide it into your mouth, pumping bokuto’s length with your other hand. you hum around kageyama, running your tongue over the head of his cock before hollowing your cheeks and sucking harshly on it. 

but your attention on them doesn’t last too long, the sudden feel of your pussy getting split open by gao’s cock taking it away.

“so tight,” he grunts, one of his hands running over the skin of your inner thigh until he reaches your soaking cunt. he pulls your folds apart, watching you struggle to take his cock inside you—no matter how wet you are, “i bet those jackals haven’t been fucking you like you deserve.”

“oi!” “not true!”

you free your mouth from kageyama and use both hands to pump his and bokuto’s cock, “s-so big, ugh-”

gao pushes more of him in, half of his cock already inserted in you. but he’s just so thick, so big, that you can’t help but clamp down your walls around him. his thumb starts rubbing circles on your clit, trying to relax your walls, as his other hand settles on your abdomen.

“you’re going to be so full of my cock that you’ll be able to see it,” he gives a gentle pat to your belly, “right here.”

your grip on the other two men tightens as gao finally bottoms out, a whine breaking through your lips at the stretch.

“if only you could see yourself,” his thrusts are lazy, mesmerized by the way your belly bulges when he pushes his cock inside you, “so fucking sexy with my fat cock inside your cunt.”

your lips wrap around the tip of bokuto’s cock once more, closing your eyes as pleasure clouds your head. he thrusts in, hitting the back of your throat and making you gag.

“good girl,” bokuto exhales, “taking my cock so well.”

you quicken the pace of your other hand, looking at kageyama as you obscenely suck bokuto.

the setter’s eyes refuse to leave yours, “who would’ve thought our assistant could be so naughty.”

“as if you’re complaining,” gao says, lifting your leg over his shoulder. the new angle allowing him to press his hips closer to yours.

“i never said i was.”

bokuto curses under his breath when you start sucking his balls, pumping the rest of his length with your hand and squeezing the head of kageyama’s cock with the other.

“you’re going to make me cum,” bokuto groans.

giggling, you lick your way up and run your tongue over the slit, “cum in my mouth.”

the sound of collective groans echoes in the room, a fair amount of players finding your words arousing.

“what a slut, let’s see if you keep talking when you’re covered in our cum.”

gao’s threat goes straight to your pussy, making you cream around his girth. the pace of his thumb on your clit quickens once he notices your walls spasming around him.

“ngh, fuck!” you’re breathing heavily by now, barely managing to keep the pace of your hands consistent, “i-i’m gonna… i’m gonna cum.”

“let go, baby.”

one of gao’s hands travels up your body until he’s pinching your nipple between his fingers.

“shit, shit, shit,” you’re thrashing underneath him, your cunt fluttering around his cock thanks to your orgasm.

kageyama’s way too focused on the way your face contorts in pleasure to notice how his hips have started to jerk faster. that is until the familiar coil suddenly snaps and his cum lands on your chin and part of your chest. 

“h-how did you get even tighter- hah!”

warm spurts of cum fill your cunt, the sense of fullness intensifying as gao frees his load inside of you.

“i’m cumming, baby. fuck, fuck–” bokuto chants your name as he too reaches his orgasm, quickly shoving his cock into your mouth and releasing his thick cum inside of it.   

you make sure to keep sucking him, milking his cock dry. once you remove your mouth from him, you bring his and kageyama’s cock closer to your face and pucker your lips, letting the mix of cum and spit fall on their cocks before giving a few kitten licks to the flushed heads.

gao starts to remove his cock from your insides, cursing at the state of your pussy once he’s finally out.

“holy fuck, she’s tightening around nothing.”

you let out a low moan when his fingers spread your lower lips, “t-too sensitive.”

“i think that’s enough,” iwaizumi intervenes, pushing him away, “color?”

“yellow,” but you continue as soon as you see his face become stern, “relax, i just need to calm down a bit.”

kageyama offers you a towel before awkwardly thanking you for your help. and after receiving a kiss on the forehead from bokuto, the three of them leave to go clean themselves.

“iwa-chan, why don’t you give her a massage?”

you let your body fall on the mattress, extending your arms above your head and moaning at the stretch.

“mm, that’d be nice.”

iwaizumi rolls his eyes playfully when he sees you pouting at him, “get on your stomach, i’ll be right back.”

in the meantime, oikawa and hinata take the spots next to you, eager to finally have their turn with you.

“you’re so pretty,” oikawa runs his hands over the skin of your shoulders, “those idiots are lucky to have you.”

your eyes start closing up, focusing on the feel of his fingers on your skin and making goosebumps appear all over your body.

“shoyo, we should help her relax too. don’t you think?”

you catch the suggestive tone in his voice, but his touch feels so good that you choose to ignore it.

both men start caressing your body, hinata’s hands paying special attention to your shoulders while oikawa pets your hair, murmuring sweet nothings. 

“you ready?” iwaizumi pops back into the room, a bottle of oil and a clean towel in his hands.

“mhm.”

the towel rests on your ass, iwaizumi’s warm hands spreading the oil on your back and rubbing at the sore muscles.

“does that feel good, princess?” oikawa asks when he hears you sigh. you are about to reply when iwaizumi hits a sore spot, a groan slipping past your lips and making the setter chuckle, “can you tell me your color now?”

“green.”

oikawa looks at iwaizumi and both men seem to communicate through their eyes, the latter smirking before going back to work.

at first, you don’t pay too much attention to his movements, choosing to focus on the pleasure. but then you notice how his hands seem to ghost lower and lower until he’s kneading your ass, the towel long forgotten.

before you can comment on it, he moves them to your thighs, massaging the soft flesh. it all goes back to normal –or so you think– until his hands reach higher and his digits start grazing your slit.

“hajime…”

“shh,” oikawa coos in your ear, pushing your hair out of your face and kissing your temple, “let him take care of you.”

iwaizumi inserts one finger inside your pussy, curling it until he’s teasing the spongy walls.

whines escape your mouth, your hands gripping the bedsheets which are quickly replaced by hinata’s hands.

“so cute.”

another finger slips in and makes you open your eyes, looking at oikawa helplessly, “o-oikawa-san-”

“tooru,” he interrupts you.

“tooru,” you try his name and he hums, letting you know he’s listening, “could you… uh, k-kiss me?”

“of course, princess.”

he leans down to capture your lips, swallowing your moans when iwaizumi curls both fingers and massages your spot. 

you open your legs, allowing iwaizumi to finger you better as you rut your hips on the mattress, rubbing your clit against the fabric of the sheets and chasing after your orgasm.

“iwa– faster, please.”

he complies immediately, causing wetness to gush out of your cunt and making the distinctive squelching sounds fill the room.

“i’m gonna– ah! i’m c-cumming!” 

“cum for me,” he encourages you, and that’s all you need.

you gush around his fingers, your slick coating them as you squirm under the gaze of the three men.

hinata tugs at your hand, pulling you underneath him and kissing you sloppily. you gasp on his mouth, caught off guard by the sudden movement but quickly melting into the kiss.

he blushes once he pulls away, “s-sorry, couldn’t help myself.”

“it’s okay, shoyo,” you breathe out, caressing his cheek, “want me to help you?”

he beams at your offer, nodding eagerly as he watches you climb on top of him. you straddle his hips and run your cunt over his cock, shivering when his length grazes your clit.

“do you want me to ride you?” you whisper, playing with his hair. 

“wait- i think i have a better idea.”

hinata lifts you from his lap and moves until he’s sitting on the edge of the mattress. he pushes your hips with his hands, turning you around so you’re facing away from him. 

“you can sit on my lap now.”

your ass rests right on top of his cock, but he hooks his arms on your knees, spreading you open, as he lets himself fall back on the mattress.

“what are you–”

“oikawa-san, doesn’t this remind you of something?”

said man laughs, “how could i forget? we had quite some fun back in brazil, huh?”

you’re visibly confused, looking at oikawa with furrowed brows, “what do you want to do?”

“say, princess,” his tone suddenly sounds too sweet for your liking, “have you ever had two cocks in one hole?”

your eyes widen, looking back and forth between oikawa and iwaizumi—who has ridden himself of his clothes and sits next to you, his thick cock in his hand.

“i’ll take that as a no.”

“can we do that?” hinata asks from behind you, his breath fanning on your ear, “we’ll be gentle.”

“there’s literally another free hole for you to use!” someone yells, clearly annoyed they didn’t get the chance to do it.

oikawa clicks his tongue, “where’s the fun in that?”

after taking a minute to think it through, you agree to their offer, “okay… uh- iwa?” you turn to look at him, “what about you?”

seeing as there’s no room for him to take your ass, his eyes land on your mouth. and with two taps of his finger on your cheek, he lets you know his decision.

“think you can suck me off?”

they’re all given the green light when you answer his question. hinata raises you from his lap, aligning his cock with your entrance before letting your weight fall on top of it. you groan at the familiar thickness stretching you nicely, missing the flash of hunger in the setter’s eyes.  

“my turn.”

oikawa presses the tip on your entrance, pushing forward and making room for his own cock.

the burn of having two cocks in one hole is new to you, but it’s surprisingly more pleasurable than you thought it’d be. you lift your eyes to look at oikawa, his gaze already locked on you, and you feel your pussy cream around their cocks at the lust in his eyes.

“enjoying yourself, princess?”

you moan when he bottoms out, watching the muscles of his abdomen contract and feeling his cock pulsing inside of you.

the thrill of being stretched by two cocks, at the same time, has your head spinning; your thoughts becoming lewd as you picture both men cumming inside you and globs of cum dripping from your abused hole.

“oikawa-san, did you feel that?” hinata asks. half-amused, half excited, “she’s squeezing us so well.”

“naughty, princess,” the setter grunts, “don’t forget about iwa-chan.”

you turn your head to face him, catching the irritated look he sends oikawa before looking down at you.

iwaizumi’s eyes immediately soften, but a smirk slowly tugs at the corners of his lips, “you seem busy.”

“there’s always room for japan’s national team athletic trainer.”

he can’t help but laugh, shaking his head at the silly title. he raises from his seat and settles himself above you, his cock hovering on your face and making your mouth water.

“whenever you’re ready.”

you don’t need to be told twice. grasping his thick cock with your hand, you lean forward and flick your tongue on the head, looking at him through your lashes with faux innocence.

“start moving,” iwaizumi hisses, the words directed at the other two men, “seems like she needs a little reminder of who’s in charge right now.”

oikawa and hinata look at each other with smirks on their lips. as hinata said earlier, they’ve been in this position before, so there’s no need for words between them since they both know what’s coming next.

hinata moves his head slightly to the side, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder and, at the same time, granting him the view of your cunt being filled with their cocks.

“look at her, oikawa-san” his eyes are locked on your pussy, captivated by the way you suck them in, “she looks so pretty with two cocks splitting her open.”

hinata’s lewd words prompt you to involuntarily moan, the vibrations landing on iwaizumi’s cock.  

“hmm, you like it when you’re reduced to nothing but a slut. don’t you?”

you blink up at iwaizumi as you keep bobbing your head up and down his shaft, opting to hum to let him know you’re not ignoring him.

but his words catch someone else’s attention.

“is that true?” oikawa asks, amusement clear in his voice, “you like being reminded you’re a whore? how much of a greedy slut you are by fucking an entire volleyball team?”

you’re speechless, his words –matched with his and hinata’s harsh thrusts– causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head.

“answer me.”

oikawa’s hand wraps around your throat, barely applying any pleasure but it’s enough to send your mind into a frenzy.

after releasing iwaizumi’s cock from your mouth, you take a second to swallow down your spit before answering him.

“y-yes, tooru. i like being treated like a slut.”

his eyes sparkle with mischief, pleased by your words.

“good, because that’s how you’re going to be treated from now on.”

a hand travels to your throbbing clit, rubbing circles on the sensitive nub.

“s-shoyo!”

“shh, it’ll make you feel good.”

something wet slaps against your cheek, “don’t get distracted.”

you nod and go back to sucking iwaizumi off, moaning every time hinata or oikawa hit a spot inside your cunt. you dare take a look at where your body connects with both men, and you catch yourself becoming entranced by the way their cocks slide in and out of your pussy so easily.

you are familiar with hinata’s cock, but it’s nice to see the contrast between the two of them. while hinata’s length is thick and veiny, oikawa’s leans towards the slimmer side—but still with a considerable length. either way, both men manage to hit those sweet spots inside you and make you see stars. 

“shit– princess,” oikawa falters a bit when he feels your walls fluttering around him.

“we can cum inside you, right?” hinata asks, sensing his orgasm approaching. after all, he had been waiting for his turn for around an hour.

you pull away from iwaizumi, a string of spit connecting your lips with his cock and causing it to twitch at the sight.

“you can cum wherever you want.”

“oh? the team’s cocksleeve,” oikawa adds, “i see.”

iwaizumi chuckles, combing your hair out of your face and pushing his cock back into the warmth of your mouth, “you like that nickname, sweetheart?”

with his length still in your mouth, you manage to hum in affirmation.

hinata’s pace on your clit quickens as his hips jerk faster, your cunt squeezing their cocks even more in return, “i’m cumming, ah– i-i’m gonna cum!”

he manages to say before you feel him twitch inside you, pumping his cum into your walls. the fullness plus his rapid movements on your clit cause the familiar warmth to take over your body. but it’s your fourth orgasm of the night, and before you can warn anyone, liquid spurts out of your cunt.

you squirm on top of hinata, gushing around his and oikawa’s cock while your mouth remains occupied with iwaizumi’s.

“holy shit.”

both oikawa and iwaizumi cum at the sight of you squirting before them, observing the wetness soaking oikawa’s abdomen and running all the way down onto the bedsheets. they groan as they feel their load releasing into you, oikawa filling your tender cunt while iwaizumi fills your mouth.

you try to swallow a bit of iwaizumi’s cum but it’s useless. your chest heaves in exhaustion, your eyes closing involuntarily as you’re being hit with wave after wave of fatigue.

“hey,” oikawa winces when he removes his cock from you. he shoots a worried glance at iwaizumi before he’s leaning forward so he can take a closer look at you, “princess? how are you feeling?”

iwaizumi nudges hinata with his knee, wordlessly telling him to let go of you.

the following moments become a foggy mess, your mind barely registering the pair of arms wrapping around you and carrying you somewhere else.

all you can feel is tiredness, and the dampness between your thighs, before you finally pass out.

—

consciousness slowly makes its way to you, replacing the sleepiness and making you aware of your surroundings as a familiar soreness sits heavy on your body.

in an instant, flashbacks from the previous night run through your mind.

you grip the duvet and push it away from you, only to notice the set of clothes you’re wearing: an oversized hoodie and a pair of sweatpants that clearly don’t belong to you. but you don’t have time to dwell on it, the sound of your ringtone blasting all over the room and making you scramble around the bed so you can answer the call.

but it’s of no use when it goes to voicemail—you were a bit too late.

when you manage to find your phone, you tap on the screen to see whose call you just missed.

‘hajime’

your fingertips hover on the contact name, debating between returning the call or wait for him to call you again. but a few notifications pop up at the top of the screen signaling you have three text messages from him.

hey, i guess you’re still asleep. don’t freak out when you wake up, you deserve the rest so it’s okay if you stay in bed. i left your breakfast on the nightstand and you can always call me if you need anything else.

and i thought you’d like to see this.

there’s a link attached at the end of the message.

you click on it and wait for the page to load, tapping your nails on the back of your phone anxiously. a headline in big bold letters takes over the screen and you have to stop yourself from squealing.

‘japan men’s volleyball team makes it past the first round.’

you start scrolling down the article, reading how spectacular the match was and how the entire team seemed to be in their best shape. you feel your face heat up when you read the argentinian team won their match too, with multiple comments praising oikawa’s performance.

with a smile on your lips, you go back to your messages to type a quick reply to iwaizumi. only to notice you have one more text from him.

it’s our turn to take care of you.

[moemammon]

The demon brothers reacting to MC dropping their phone on their face while laying down:

Lucifer

Why are you laying around on your phone anyway? Why, because Lucifer was buried in paperwork and couldn't give you the time of day!

He wanted to, of course, but you knew better than to pester this workaholic while he was doing stuff.

So instead, you decided to keep him company with your presence, rather than your words. And he appreciates it. Having you around clears his head and encourages him to work faster, somehow.

Maybe it's because he wants to get back to you as quickly as he can? He's rather spend time with you, anyway.

And it seemed like you'd need it since you just destroyed your nose with your phone.

All you wanted was to scroll through the group texts to pass the time.... why did gravity betray you like this...

Lucifer hears the soft smack of your phone against your face, and the grunt of pain that follows it.

He doesn't even need to look up. He knows what happened. Maybe he's trying to spare your feelings?

You don't see it, but a smile tugs at the corners of his lips. What a sadist...

"I did tell you to sit properly while you use your D.D.D., didn't I? I hope you've learned your lesson."

You narrow your eyes at the demon, not sure whether to be embarrassed or irritated.

Lucifer finally looks up at you with that judging gaze of his. But he's not going to mock you, of course! The eldest is too mature for that.

"Maybe it's time I took a break. It seems that you need something other than your D.D.D. to keep you busy."

So all you had to do was pull a Mammon and he’d start paying attention to you, huh?

You make a mental note of that.

Mammon

You were in Mammon's room, lounging around in comfortable silence. You were laying across his sofa on your back, arms propped up to hold your phone over your face while you watched a video.

And that's when the inevitable happened. Your fingers slipped, and....

The moment your phone makes contact with your face, Mammon's practically in tears.

Seriously. He has to shove his face into his pillow so he can calm himself down. But did you HEAR the sound you just made-

He's dropped his phone on his face so many times that he's glad HE gets to laugh for once, instead of the other way around!

He feels your pain though, so once he recovers from laughing for ten years, he asks if your nose is okay

Which you reply that it is not.

May he offer you a bandaid in these trying times?

"Don't look at me like that! I already said I was sorry for laughing at ya, didn't I?? C'mon MC... Oi, don't ignore me!"

Levi

Levi's back is to you and his eyes are trained on his computer screen, watching the pixilated game characters move across the screen.

You don't mind, since you're absorbed in your own game, a new mobile mmorpg he introduced you to!

And you've taken the liberty of stealing his bathtub bed for yourself, and we're currently laying on your back, arms raised high as if that would channel power into your character's move combo.

But it seems like you got a little too excited, because your phone slipped out of your grasp, and right into your poor face.

When you yelped, Levi pauses his game and takes his headset off to see what??? you just did??

Then he sees it.

His dear Henry has lost the battle against their D.D.D... he knows you fought honorably...

No but seriously, you good?

He's probably the one who's done it the most out of all of his brothers, what with all of his hobbies involving browsing the internet.

"Uh... I don't have any ice, but you can use this soda can..? It's still cold."

Thanks Levi. That was very poggers of you.

Satan

You were laying about, scrolling the internet to figure out the meaning of a word you'd just read.

Impignorate??? What was THAT. Not even Satan had an answer, so you had to rely on google to give you a hand.

Speaking of hands, yours decided to betray you and send your phone into your face, which Satan just witnessed.

He was mostly paying attention to the book his nose was buried in, but he’d sneak glances at you from time to time.

And he just happened to get lucky enough to witness your murder

This man lets out a very audible "Pfft-"

He was trying not to laugh. He swears. It's just that the sound of the phone hitting your face was just

Chef kiss

And now he will offer you a kiss, too, to your lil red nose.

He gets up to make sure you're good, still obviously laughing about it.

"Maybe you should sit up next time you use your D.D.D., hm?"

Now where have you heard that one-

He's definitely logging that memory into his brain forever though lmao

He didn't know humans could make a sound like that

Asmo

Does this scenario even need explaining??

There was nothing unusual about you and Asmo laying around his enormous bed, scrolling through devilgram, fashion blogs, and rolling over to show each other your latest internet find.

But all that rolling around and laughing came at a price...

That price being the structural integrity of your skull, after your phone just dive bombed into it.

Asmo IMMEDIATELY sits up

If there's anyone who knows how dangerous a blow to the face can be, it's Asmo!

He's not even laughing about it. Just cupping you're cheeks and checking you over like a worried wife mom

"Are you okay?? Nothing seems to be swelling, and I don't see any bruises... How's your nose? Does it hurt?? I'll get you some ice! We don't want any marks on that adorable face of yours!"

Nurse Asmo will heal your superficial wounds

Speeds up the recovery process with a million butterfly kisses all over your face

May or may not turn into a few kisses going lower and lower, until-

Anyway, just be careful next time, okay? You nearly gave him a heart attack!

Beel

What do you do when you run out of ideas for what to make for dinner?

You look to the internet for some recipes! Preferably easy ones that can be made quickly and in huge batches, per Beel's request.

He's looking, too! There are plenty of cookbooks to flip through, so while you handle the googling, he's busy... drooling over the photos in the books.

At this rate, he might just eat the books themselves...

So you get up from your cozy lounge spot on the counter- Or, that was the plan anyway. But one thing led to another, and the only thing moving was your cell phone.

Rapidly.

Toward your face.

Beel hears the smack and then the curse you mumble under your breath, and looks over with worry.

His hunger is temporarily forgotten since he's got to make sure you're okay. Humans are fragile, after all!

Maybe not fragile enough to seriously be hurt by something like this, but he still doesn't like when you get hurt.

"Are you okay..? That sounded like it hurt."

Carefully inspecting your face. When he concludes that you seem perfectly fine, he gives your hair an affectionate ruffle.

"Why don't we look through the cookbooks together? I found a recipe that looks tasty. I want to make it with you."

The pain in your face seems to fly away in the presence of this sunshine man.... you have truly been blessed...

Belphie

Hanging out under the stars with Belphie was always so relaxing. You couldn't get enough of it!

And this time, you had the great idea of snapping a few photos of the display above your heads.

After a couple of selfies and a few shots overhead, to position your phone to take one last photo of yourself and Belphegor, when your finger slips.

Belphie has abandoned you.

He rolls away at light speed to prevent the phone from possibly hitting HIM, and lets you take the hit.

You've never felt more betrayed....

And he has the nerve to chuckle???

He grabs your phone from your face, inching close enough to look you over.

"Sorry. I didn't want to get hit. That must've hurt, huh?"

Yeah, no kidding.

Probably imitates the sound you made at random times throughout the day just to get on your nerves tbh

He's annoyingly good at it, too

Evil man

Gremlin

[wellthebardsdead]

Shimada coffee? Hm? Oh no the boss is taking a week off. His boyfriend is helping but- he needs more help than he is helping I think ~Bambi

———

Jack: *took a couple weeks vacation off to look after the kids and Sojiro while he gets some much needed rest and Gabe works on getting his new cafe set up in the town nearby their farm as well as his usual commander duties* okay then breakfast is done, lunch is in the fridge, now for dinner. Cole what would you like?

Cole: chicken!!

Jack: Yep I can do that- Hanzo what would you- Hanzo?

Hanzo: *tugging on his trousers* jagaimo!

Jack: *glances down at him* hm? Oh there you are!

Hanzo: jagaimo!

Jack: *forgot the toddler can’t speak much English yet* jaga? What?

Hanzo: jagaimo!!

Jack: is… is that a Pokémon? A cartoon? One of your toys help me out here kid.

Hanzo: *points to the oven* jagaimo!!

Jack: In the oven? *opens it to see nothing*

Hanzo: *points into the oven* jagaimo!!

Jack: …

*a few hours of google searching later with different spellings not knowing any japanese himself*

Jack: *calling Gabriel* hello?

Gabe: *in the middle of afternoon drills* sunshine? What’s wrong- one sec- PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT MAGGOTS!- you were saying?

Jack: r-right, Hanzo keeps coming up to me and saying jagaimo- I think that’s how you say it.

Gabe: I only know basic Japanese, I don’t think I can help you with that. Have you asked sojiro about it?

Jack: no because if I do he might get out of bed and he’s suppose to be resting remember?

Gabe: …you’re scared he thinks you don’t know what your doing?

Jack: I’m terrified of it I’m trying to keep Hanzo from pitching a fit but he’s getting frustrated with me and no matter how I spell it I can’t figure out what he wants-

Gabe: sunflower, just go ask him what ever a jagaimo is okay? I doubt he’ll get out of bed. I’ll be home soon anyway I can do it- one sec- YOU CALL THAT A PUSH UP?!

Jack: okay-I-I’ll ask him.

Gabe: okay cariño~ love you mi vida *hangs up* OKAY JUST FOR THAT ALL OF YOU ARE RUNNING THE ENTIRE COURSE AGAIN!-

Jack: *sighs and puts his phone down in time to see Hanzo stomping his little feet in anger and trying not to cry* okay okay we’ll figure this out. *gets up and walks to the bedroom to find Sojiro doing a crossword puzzle while Genji naps beside him* um? Pumpkin?

Sojiro: hm? Yes love?

Jack: what does? Jagaimo mean?

Sojiro: potato.

Jack: …what?

Sojiro: I’m assuming Hanzo said it?

Jack: I asked what he wanted for dinner and he said jagaimo and kept pointing at the oven.

Sojiro: he wants a baked potato.

Jack: …oh.

Sojiro: he likes sour cream, cheese and green onion on his. Make sure you cut it in half and let it cool off first before giving it to him.

Jack: r-right! *closes the door* why didn’t I just ask to begin with- *looks down to see Hanzo looking up at him like he’s just killed his puppy*

Hanzo: *holding a potato and trying so hard not to cry* j-j-jagai-m-mo!

Jack: … *gently picks him up* we can have baked potatoes too.