I have finally finished 2.4 and oh my GOD watching Dan Heng be so protective of his friends nearly killed me, MY HEART.
And yes, the cutscene where he pushes the trailblazer out of the way and even cushions their fall with his own body, but I mean even before that! When he was already trying to protect them and March 7th from Feixiao and Lingsha!!
Because if you watch the dango trio throughout the main quest, you'll notice that they often position themselves in the same way, which is a detail that makes me super happy that Hoyo thought to include- when the three of them aren't evenly spaced, March 7th and the trailblazer tend to gravitate towards each other and stand very close together, frequently side-by-side. And by comparison, Dan Heng usually stands slightly away, and often even slightly behind them, where he can pull on their leashes to wrangle them keep an eye on them.
This is probably a habit learned through experience, since March 7th said during Belobog she is the "queen of unannounced disappearances" fjdksajfkldjsak
And of course at least a little bit of it is just done for like, aesthetic purposes. It's a video game. Things have to look nice for the player. The trailblazer and Dan Heng are the same height, March 7th is a bit shorter, and Yanqing is even smaller. It makes sense to have the trailblazer and Dan Heng stand on the ends, with March 7th and Yanqing in the middle, it just looks nicer and more balanced that way. But still! Even when they're accommodating for Yanqing in this quest, they still all arrange themselves the same way, almost every time!
But this changes after Dan Heng and Yanqing become suspicious of the visitors from the Yaoqing.
The dango trio still stand around relaxed and in their usual manner when they go to the artisanship delve and meet Skott,
but Dan Heng takes notice of Lingsha when she arrives, and he and Yanqing mentioned her specifically when discussing their worries.
Yanqing worrying so much about Jing Yuan got me right in the heart, he's such a good boy WEH
And when the four of them go out to the alchemy delve to meet Lingsha for tea, the pattern breaks. Suddenly Dan Heng is standing right up front, and even walks in and enters the scene before March 7th and the trailblazer to get to Lingsha before them. He stays a step in front of them the whole time, too.
And then when Dan Heng and the trailblazer have to go be interrogated by Feixiao! The same deal! Dan Heng walks in ahead of them and stays in front of them! Noticeably so! Enough that even Feixiao takes note and voices it!
Dan Heng is so so fiercely protective of his companions, and I love it, I adore hyper vigilance in the wake of trauma like this, I'm so excited to see what else he does in 2.5, I hope we either get to see him get fucked up or the trailblazer gets fucked up in his place, I wanna see them run through the meat grinder!!!
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Making sense of love for love's sake: the game
Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:
'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'
And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".
When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.
And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.
And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:
"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable."
"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that"
"The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."
Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.
"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that"
"The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."
"Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?"
"Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."
And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.
"I don't like talking about destiny."
"Why?"
"Because it means everything is predestined."
"Then do you not believe in fate?"
"Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying."
"Really? Then Myungha..."
And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.
And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.
And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.
The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.
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Ride 787: The back that was pushed!!
Pag 1
1: Packed with the passion of everyone in Sohoku... a full throttle injection of will-power!!
Pag 2
1: Iitsuka-san!!
Goo Fukuoka!!
Oh, Tomaribata!!
Fukuoka, take the mountain!!
2: What about Hakogaku's Manami!?
3: Don't worry about him. He did catch up to me but then suddenly stopped
When I shouted at him, he closed his eyes and fell silent!!
4: Is it because he found out that Iitsuka-san is Fukuoka Josei's “mountain shogun”?
Yeah, probably!!
Amazing!!
5: Let's take the lead now!!
Ahead there's also Fujiwara-san from the Kyuushu team Kumadai!!
6: But anyway for a moment I was so scared....
Pag 3
1: When Hakogaku sent ahead their ace Manami!!
2: I can hear it
4: The first day's mountain prize!! Let's take it, at our hometown's Inter High!!
5: Wait....!!
6: “The sound of wheels”? “He's catching up”?
Could it be that Manami is waiting for someone?
Pag 4
1: And that's why he slowed down....!?
2: Raise your pace, Tomaribata!!
4: We're still at the start of the mountain, if we use up our legs here....
It's fine, we'll establish a good distance now
Huh!? But
Think, idiot!! If you think about it, you'll get it!! The person Manami slowed his legs down to wait for....
Pag 5
1: It's Sohoku's “Mountain King”!!
Pag 8
1: Mountain King!!
2: Fo-fo-for the first day's mountain!?
Why even the Mountain King, even the Mountain King!!
I don't know!! I don't know but that doesn't change the reality!!
3: Last year so many times we couldn't race each other
So I thought that maybe this year too...
4: What do I do if he doesn't come, I thought....
5: I was scared
6: For a while I couldn't even open my eyes
Pag 9
2: I caught up
4: Thank god it's real!!
Pag 10
1: You came, Sakamichi-kun
Yeah!! Manami-kun!!
Pag 11
1: Can we race?
2: Yes!!
Pag 12
3: Everyone in the team pushed my back!!
Pag 13
1: Onoda-kun!!
2: He should have caught up with Manami around now!!
3: Onoda-san!!
4: Hahaha!!
5: Back-gate slope-senpai!!
6: At full throttle!!
At full throttle!!
Run!!
Please run!!
Pag 14
1: Nghh...!!
2: “Nghhh” it's right!!
3: Ahaha
Hahaha
They're suddenly laughing, let's raise our pace!!
Yes!!
4: It was during your training camp on our first year
5: When we raced for the first time
6: I remember I was so excited when I heard that our names were “Sakamichi” and “Sangaku”
It's the perfect combo!!
Pag 15
1: I was surprised you didn't even have your feet fastening on
We stopped at the summer house and talked
2: We were so free back then!!
We didn't have any responsibility, not teams nor jerseys!!
3: Ahaha
4: When you're in second and third year the things you have to do increases so much....
5: I'd throw this “captain” title away anytime!!
Hahaha I get it, it's difficult for me too
Pag 16
1: If someone on my team heard that they would get angry
Doubashi-kun especially would get angry!!
Sounds scary...
4: You're wearing the number “3”
Ah, yeah, uhm, we talked with everyone on the team
Huh.... on official races the winner of the previous year should wear the number “1”
5: I see, leave it to me then
I'll push through, hahaha!!
Thank you!!
Is.. is that alright?
Waa, Pierre-sensei is so reliable!!
6: Your teacher....!!
Then...
7: Yeah, “3” like Makishima-san's “173”
Pag 17
1: I'm also wearing Toudou-san's number “13”
2: “Sleeping beauty”!!
Kuah!! Toudou!!
Pag 18
1: That day, the first day of the Inter High two years ago
2: While we were pulling the team, I imagined those two fighting for the mountain prize....
3: I'm sure they must be having fun
Fighting until you're empty
It can't not be fun!!
4: We can't go right now, but let's do it
A fight until the last drop, until our limits!!
Yeah!!
5: We promised to race
Today may be the day to truly make that wish....
Pag 19
1: come true!!
Pag 20
1: Our third year, the last Inter High
2: The first day.... a fight to compete only for the colored bib
3: The purity of this race is infinitely high!!
4: Yeah!!
Pag 21
5: Let's do it, Manami-kun!!
Pag 22
2: I've been waiting to hear those words!!
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