BG3 Great Old One warlock patron encountering "Dribbles" be like:
There are few things in this multiverse that unsettle me, let alone frighten me. But that thing…
…That thing scares me.
Warlock Tav, getting ready to cast Eldritch Blast: Say no more, boss.
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
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people like to bring up things like "all your loved ones would die before you" as a concern re: immortality. But the real danger for me would be that i'd literally never get anything done again. I'd adopt the elvish lifestyle immediately. Not doing anything in a week that could be done in a century. Not getting anything done in a century that can be done in 10 centuries. Spending the next 100 years reading 1 book very slowly because i have infinite time and don't care.
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i think perhaps the most annoying/exhausting phenomenon in existence is when something kind of genuinely sucks but it has, like, a female lead or whatever so half the people that are saying it sucks are nightmare people that unironically call things "woke garbage" and the other half are people that just like. have a basic sense of story structure and knowledge of character arcs as a concept that quite reasonable think this thing sucks. BUT it gets assumed that 100% of people who think it sucks are in that first half and then there's a backlash TO the backlash and all along it's still not a good fucking story. I call this "The twilight phenomena" because it got a lot of hate because of a mockery of teenage girls when it had well deserved hate for the like racism and misogyny and the throwaway detail that a grown ass man is somehow romantic soulmates with a quite literal baby.
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for anyone too young to know this: watching The Truman Show is a vastly different experience now, compared to how it was before youtube and social media influencers became normal
before it was like, "what a horrifying thing to do to a human being! to take away their autonomy and privacy, all for the sake of profits! to create fake scenarios for them to react to, just to retain viewership! to ruin their happiness just so some corporate entity could harvest money from their very humanity! how could anyone do something so evil?"
and now it's like, "ah, yeah. this is still deeply fucked up, but it's pretty much what every influencer has been doing to their kids for a decade now. probably bad that we've normalized this experience"
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can u imagine riding Simon and he tells you a shitty joke because he likes seeing you smile and you’re all giggly like
“Don’t make me laugh with your dick in me”
but you actually do love it when he smiles and gets a lil silly too. You throw a couple of bad jokes at him but he has a full arsenal of bad jokes so you’re out matched but it’s okay, you two just enjoy the sweet, tender moment together 🩷
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Sometimes being an artist is feeling like a baker seeing a chemist making the deadliest liquid in the world and wishing you could make the deadliest liquid as well but you're a baker, not a chemist, and then you feel like your bread is worthless
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People sorting ao3 solely by stats and only clicking on fics with a certain amount of kudos or comments, you will not survive the winter, nor the summer, nor at all, *brings out knife,* run
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