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andrewmoocow · 1 year

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Little Homeworld Life chapter 17: Little Homeworld Idol (originally published on April 17, 2023)

AN: I have to admit, I'm not that much of a songwriter in the sense that I don't write many original songs. I usually prefer to make themed parodies of existing songs, like a parody of You'll Be Back from Hamilton themed around The Terminator! That said, Steven Universe has some amazing songs and I really hope to capture the spirit of Aivi and Surasshu's compositions in the songs you shall hear, er, read today. I'll try my best here, please give me the benefit of the doubt.

Synopsis: The Gems hold a talent competition.

Cast:

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Tiger's Eye

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Volleyball

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Jon Wurster as Marty

T-Pain as Sam Galley

Gal Gadot as Desert Glass

Willa Holland as Albite

Maddie Ziegler as Serpentine

Courtenay Taylor as Beryl

Billie Eilish as Turquoise

Featuring Tim Gunn as Tristan Wheeler

With RuPaul as Willie McCarthy

Christian Slater as Brock Ridley

And Emily King as Kunzite

"Welcome one and all to our very first Little Homeworld Idol!" Bismuth's voice declared as spotlights shined on the Beach-A-Palooza stage. "We got ourselves an impressive roster of singers here tonight, but first, let us get introduced to our judges!"

"First off, we have the Broadway sensation and star of classics like Death of a Salesman, Angels in America, and Cats, Brock Ridley!" A scruffy, long-nosed man in a red knit cap with a five o'clock shadow sat at the judges' stand with his legs kicked up on the table.

"Thank you, thank you, everybody." Brock Ridley thanked his adoring fans of humans and Gems. "This was not how I'd expect to spend my day, but I'll take what I can get."

"Next up is the fashion model, reality show host, and gender-nonconforming icon, Willie McCarthy!" A handsome and bald dark-skinned man dressed in an extravagant suit started blowing kisses to his fans.

"Pleasure to be here, my friends." Willie said as they struck a pose for his fans. "And be sure to catch my lifestyle reality series What A Drag, Wednesday nights on The DW!"

"Next up, it's famous fashion designer, animal rights activist, and academic Tristan Wheeler!" The spotlights shined next on an aged fellow in a black suit and glasses, who politely waved to the audience.

"Good evening, everybody." Tristan Wheeler greeted the viewers while straightening his suit. "Let's have a good clean competition, shall we?"

"And for our final judge, we have…." Bismuth announced before her showmanship faltered in absolute confusion. "Marty?! How did he get here?!"

"Hey, sorry I'm late, everybody!" Marty exclaimed as he pulled up a steel chair to sit beside the judges. "I just flew in from Keystone and my arms sure are tired!"

"Who let him here?" Pearl asked as the Crystal Gems and Sam Galley stood backstage.

"Hey, don't forget who's sponsoring this event!" Marty yelled before turning on one of the monitors to read, "LITTLE HOMEWORLD IDOL, BROUGHT TO YOU BY COOKIE CAT. HE'S THE PET FOR YOUR TUMMY!"

"I was the guy who organized this event! How did I not see that?!" Sam exclaimed at the monitor. Further backstage, the Rutile Rebels had gathered for Black Rutile's latest scheme.

"This is utterly genius! Thanks to my genius manipulations, I have convinced that talent agent to put this shlock together and make the Crystal Gems believe this was all his idea! Humans love competition, which should be a perfect excuse to gather more supporters!" Black Rutile proclaimed eagerly. "And naturally, we should also be performing our own song."

"What are you suggesting, my Rutile?" Holly Blue asked.

"Cat, hand me your phone." Black Rutile commanded the feline-like former attorney as she was handed Cat's smartphone and presented her minions with social media threads galore. "In my extensive research of the social media sites these humans love so much, it seems that the musicians that are lusted after the most are Korean boy bands and male pop stars." Scrolling through more posts, Black Rutile saw many ways for people to express their adoration of these celebrities. "Usually, they express their worship of these young men through writing fanfiction of real people or making what they call "fan-cams" of them."

"Wait, you can write fanfiction about real people?" Eyeball asked confusedly. "But aren't they, you know, real?"

"Exactly, but apparently, that doesn't matter to them." Black Rutile replied. "More to the point, that is why we shall emulate these performers for our act and earn ourselves the most applause when it is time for us to perform. Afterward, we shall reap the rewards and drown in how many new followers we gain!"

"Oh, that is utterly splendid!" Aquamarine cheered and clapped at her master's brilliant idea. "This might be one of your best plans yet, my Rutile!"

"Yes, yes, I am a genius. I'm well aware of that." Black Rutile blushed cutely. "Now then, get to work on preparing our act!"

"So, who are you guys betting on to win this?" Tiger's Eye asked as she sat down in the audience with Desert Glass, Albite, Serpentine, and Beryl. "I'm personally placing my money on Lapis!"

"Ooh, a duet between Amethyst and Jasper." Desert Glass replied with interest. "I wonder how utterly chaotic it will be."

"I'd like to see what Black Rutile has planned." Albite added. "I think I heard she has something big planned!"

"They got a special surprise performance at the end! I want to know who it is!" Beryl cheered excitedly.

"Good evening everyone, and welcome to Little Homeworld Idol." Garnet announced as she stood on stage. "Tonight, we are going to have Gems demonstrate their musical skills to see who is the most talented, judged by a panel of experts. And Marty."

"I've always wondered about the musical talents of extraterrestrials." Willie stated as the first performers took to the stage. "Okay, you two, give us some names. We're wasting daylight here!"

"My name is Amethyst, this is Jasper, and we're gonna sing a little sibling duet!" Amethyst announced while holding out a cane for Jasper to take. "Hit it, sis!"

"Understood." Jasper obeyed before smashing a hole in the stage.

"No, I meant to hit the music, as in turn it on." Amethyst corrected the orange Gem.

"You know, you could've just said "Turn on the music" instead." Jasper replied before she turned on a jazzy, big-band tune. "You know, Amethyst, being so small really gives you a leg up on the world!"

"Oh, you bet, sistah!" Amethyst proclaimed before she started singing while spinning her cane. "A little guy like me can see what others can't see! Yet being so tall makes you want to have a ball!"

"You may be a total shrimp, but you have lots of heart!" Jasper added. "But I'd be nothing if we were apart!"

"The two of us, so different, yet also so alike!" the two quartzes sang harmoniously while forming a kickline. "Someone better call the shop, because we'd like a bike! We want a bike!"

"Yeah, if I could be anything," Amethyst declared. "In this great big world we call home."

"The only thing I wouldn't be is forever alone!" Jasper added. "Alone, alone, alone, alone!"

"Just you and me against the world!" Amethyst kept singing. "Just the two of us, my girl!"

"Big or small, we'd still have it all!" Jasper and Amethyst concluded. "Big or small, we'd still have it all!" The two took a bow, followed by the crowd going wild.

"Hey, you weren't half bad there." Amethyst said to Jasper. "A little rusty, but you really carried this song."

"I made up most of these lyrics on the spot. Bear with me here." Jasper whispered back.

"Okay, I'm not that much into big band stuff, and it seemed a little short," Brock gave his honest thoughts on the song. "but hey, you two seem to be in good harmony, so you have my vote."

"What a touching affirmation of a sibling bond!" Willie sniffled with joy. "Plus, I love the jazz setup too!"

"Indeed, a very original composition." Tristan agreed with Willie. "Though I must admit, I was definitely hoping for me of you together. You make a really good duet."

"Eh, I've seen better sideshow attractions." Marty rolled his eyes in disgust.

"Thank you, thank you! We'll be here all night!" Amethyst laughed. "Hey, if you want more, we'd happily take requests!"

"Okay, Amethyst, that's enough." Pearl grumbled before she dragged Amethyst away with a stage crook.

"Hey, wait up!" Jasper yelled as she raced after Amethyst, causing the audience to laugh.

"And next up on our list of performers, we have Lapis Lazuli coming onto the stage with a powerful number of her own!" Pearl announced to the audience's excitement.

"Hey, didn't she nearly kill hundreds of people?" Marty complained about the round of applause Lapis was receiving as she, Peridot, Laz, Zuli, and a Flower Buddy got up on stage. "Why is everyone cheering for a psychotic murderer?!"

"I'd watch my tone if I were you." Pearl scolded Marty. "Security!" At Pearl's command, Marty's chair was picked up by White Topaz with Marty still sitting in it and tossed into the air.

"I wonder how far he can go." White Topaz mused to herself as Marty was sent flying and screaming into the air, only to fall to the ground with a loud clatter, his chair smashing against his body. "Wow, pretty high up."

"Too bad that didn't kill me." Marty grumbled before Lapis began to speak.

"Hi, everybody. You may know me as Lapis." Lapis introduced herself. "Now, this is a song I've already sung before because I was in a really dark place in life. But now that I finally know where I am in the universe, I think it could use a little rewrite. Peridot, if you please."

"With pleasure." Peridot said as she tapped on her tablet, and it started playing music for Lapis to sing to. "I believe in you, my water witch."

"It all felt to me so lovely, those bluest skies above me." Lapis began singing, with her two fellow Lapides providing backing vocals. "Those funny feelings that I felt once I had met you. I wanted to leave for a while. I didn't want to smile. So many colors I wish that I had known. But now I find myself sitting on that distant shore. I'm no longer alone."

"Dang, she's good." Amethyst complimented Lapis's singing when she saw Jasper shedding a few tears. "Wait, Jasper, are you crying?" she asked the bigger Gem in confusion. "I thought you two didn't get along once upon a time."

"I'm not crying; I'm sweating a watery discharge through my eyes." Jasper lied through her teeth to try hiding how moved she was by how far Lapis had come.

"Then I saw the colors fading, the gentleness of light escaping. Shadows of my fear invading, have I seen this all before?!" Lapis continued her song. "I knew! There was something deep residing, a terror deep inside me. I once understood how you could've been so bold. But now I find myself smiling on that distant shore. I'm no longer alone."

The crowd began going wild as Lapis took a bow, and then Peridot raced up and hugged her, causing the two to fuse into Turquoise. "Thank you, thank you! I'm so happy to be singing for you all today." Turquoise announced. "I couldn't have asked for a more adoring audience."

"Wow, I'm normally not one for being overemotional, but I think I started crying on the inside." Brock proclaimed. "How about you boys?" Rather than giving a proper answer, Willie was so moved to tears that he was crying his eyes out. "Okay, Willie's out for the count. Wheeler, your two cents?"

"Music is often an expression of one's troubled emotions, and Miss Lazuli's number is no different." Tristan analyzed what he had just heard. "You can truly feel how emotionally damaged she once was through song alone, and how she is taking slow but crucial steps in recovering from whatever struggles she suffered in life."

"Couldn't agree more." Willie agreed, finally getting a word between breaks from crying so much. "Bravo Lapis, bravo!"

"Oh please, you're all too kind." Turquoise blushed with delight at all the adoration showered upon her, while Marty sulked his way backstage with a few broken bones after getting crushed by his chair. "Hey, who wants an encore?!"

"Ooh, gonna need to call in a hospital soon." Marty groaned, rubbing his aching neck while spotting Black Rutile preparing for her number in front of a vanity mirror. "Hey, Black Rutile! You're Black Rutile, right?!"

"Yes, that is me." Black Rutile said, turning around to show off her white pop star-inspired outfit. "And you are?"

"It's me, Marty! I chatted with you on Yatter!" Marty introduced himself. "Don't you remember?"

"Ah yes, Morty!" Black Rutile immediately remembered, albeit getting Marty's name wrong, much to his chagrin. "My apologies for not recognizing you; I've just been so busy planning my revenge and researching ways to unleash a being of pure chaos and mayhem unto the world."

"Sorry, what?" Marty quietly answered.

"Nothing." Black Rutile fibbed. "So, what can you offer me? And make it quick; I'm on in five!"

"I only wish to join you in your revenge on the Crystal Gems because I go way back with Steven's family." Marty revealed. "I was once his dad's manager up until he decided to ditch me for that big pink harlot on the beach, and then his son made my son disown me before I was chased out of town because everybody hated my Guacola so much!"

"Wait, Guacola?" Black Rutile asked. "Wasn't that the disgusting drink some moron got sued for after some catering incident? It was all over the news a few months ago!"

"Oh, of course, you'd bring that up." Marty grumbled in embarrassment. "Listen, you're starting that whole movement against the Crystal Gems, right? Well, tell you what, I have some industry friends who'll help you get all the funding you need for whatever you have planned. You with me?" He extended a welcoming hand to the Rutile. "Come on, let's shake on it."

"I like the way you think." Black Rutile smiled eagerly as she shook Marty's hand. "Maybe in exchange, I can help you get back at Steven's old man too."

"Oh, Black Rutile, we're due out on stage!" Holly Blue called for Black Rutile as she, Aquamarine, Eyeball, Cat's Eye, and the Rubies marched onstage in similar outfits to their boss. "Don't keep us waiting by talking to that human!"

"I'll introduce you to my friends here later." Black Rutile stated as she turned around and followed her subordinates to the limelight. "Right now, it's showtime."

"Ladies and Gems, we have a pretty special show for you tonight." Sam Galley announced to the audience, the spotlight shining on him being the only source of light on the stage. "Our next performer believes that this song could possibly change lives. Well, I'll be the judge of that." He gave a light chuckle. "And now, for your listening pleasure, I give you Black Rutile and the Rebels."

As Sam left the spotlight, an electropop started playing as the light began shining on Black Rutile, striking a provocative pose before she began to sing. "I hate all this peace and love; I pray to the stars above. You all thought I was done. No, I'm not; I really hate you!" she began, cuing the Rutile Rebels to start acting as her backup dancers. "I hate your oppression; I'm trapped in depression; my shame is all because of you! You think you're still the good guys?"

Although Black Rutile composed a very well-made song, the audience was slightly unnerved by her message as the chorus began. "I am far smarter and far stronger thanks to the sands of time! I just wanted to reign supreme; why is that a crime? I list everyone I hate, and you're at the front of the line. I'm always plotting, so you should've thought twice!"

"Oh!" the Rutile Rebels yelled.

"Look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did!" Black Rutile continued, strutting closer to the audience and giving them a domineering glare. "Look at what I just-Ooh, look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did!"

The second verse soon began, just as ominous and taunting as the last. "I want to see you all squirm, to see everything you love burn." Black Rutile declared. "You punished me for doing what's right, threw me here without letting me fight."

"What?!" Black Rutile's backup singers yelled.

"Homeworld moves on every day without drama, drama! But not for me, because I only want to give you karma!" Black Rutile added, further creeping out her captive audience with her lyrics and gyrating. "And as the universe turns, well, one thing's for sure, I may have got mine, but I'll give you yours!"

Once again, the chorus emphasized how Black Rutile loved boasting about her superiority and how she had the skills and infamy to back up her claims. "I am far smarter and far stronger thanks to the sands of time! I just wanted to reign supreme; why is that a crime? I list everyone I hate, and you're at the front of the line. I'm always plotting, so you should've thought twice!"

"Ooh!" the backup repeated.

"Look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did! Look at what I just-Ooh, look at what I just did! Look at what I just did!" Black Rutile proclaimed while presenting video footage of her previous exploits. "Take a look and see what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did!"

"I don't trust anybody, but everybody trusts me. I'll play the lead role in your scariest dream. I don't trust anybody, but everybody trusts me. I'll play the lead role in your scariest dream." Black Rutile repeated as part of the bridge. "I don't trust anybody, but everybody trusts me. I'll play the lead role in your scariest dream. I don't trust anybody, but everybody trusts me. I'll play the lead role in your scariest dream!"

"I am far smarter and far stronger thanks to the sands of time! I just wanted to reign supreme, why is that a crime?" Black Rutile sang while the song began to reach its conclusion. "I list everyone I hate, and you're at the front of the line. I'm always plotting, so you should've thought twice!"

"Ooh!" Black Rutile's backup sounded out one last time.

"Look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did! Look at what I just-"Black Rutile cried. "Ooh, look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did!"

"I'm sorry, Black Rutile can't come to the phone right now." Black Rutile smirked as the song finished. "Why?"

"Because you're dead!" the other Rutile Rebels added with an evil laugh.

"Should we be concerned about that?" Volleyball whispered to Desert Glass in the audience.

"Worst case scenario, she's plotting to kill us all." Desert Glass replied plainly, freaking everyone out with her dark sense of humor.

"Okay, that is clearly ripping off another song!" Brock exclaimed. "But given what I heard about you, I wouldn't be surprised you'd sing something like this. Still, we got a huge red flag here."

"Oh, this is more than just a red flag!" Willie disagreed with Brock's statement. "We're looking at an electric red flag here!"

"Some compelling and meaningful lyrics, though I have a sinking feeling this might be an excuse to spread propaganda." Tristan commented on the song he had just heard.

"Why yes, that is exactly my point!" Black Rutile announced. "When I first heard that song, I felt so connected to the feelings of revenge and hatred in its lyrics. It just screamed me!"

"Of course, that's why she wanted to perform." White Topaz frowned in disappointment. "But at least she's still a terrific singer."

"That alone is worth listening to her." Jasper agreed with her girlfriend while the Rutile Rebels walked backstage, where Marty awaited them.

"Black Rutile, my buddy!" Marty cheerfully greeted his new Gem friend. "So, how was the performance, bubala?"

"First off, do not call me a bub!" Black Rutile scolded Marty. "Second, I think you might be trivializing some Earth religion for your own benefit. And third, the performance was amazing. I'm so happy to have seen all my hard work get the respect it deserves."

"Wonderful, because I got great news!" Marty exclaimed before presenting a video of Black Rutile's song posted on Yatter that was quickly going viral. "You're an Internet sensation now! And check it out; this #BlackRutileWasRight hashtag is everywhere!"

"Excellent, just as I had planned." Black Rutile sneered evilly while steepling her fingers together. "I simply must find a way to meet all these new followers."

"Trust me, babe. The Internet can allow you to do anything." Marty assured his new business partner. "We'll find a way soon."

The show continued with more Gems stepping up to the stage to perform. Some of the quartzes put on a barbershop quartet, Teal Zircon played an 80s heavy metal song, Nephrite and her crew did opera, Monazite became a one-Gem band, Diaspore sang a romantic duet with Dumortierite, and Snowflake, Bixbite, and Larimar did a standup comedy routine. The show began to close, but there was still one contestant yet to put on their act.

"Well, we surely had fun, everyone, but unfortunately, we'll have to put an end to this soon!" Sam Galley announced, to the disappointment of the audience. "But don't get too unhappy, because our last competitor is sure to impress! Please welcome to the stage, the moment you've all been waiting for, Kunzite!"

While the audience started cheering, the Crystal Gems and the Rutile Rebels all stared blankly at a short blue Gem with a purple gem poking out of her head who wore a bubble-like coat. "I'm sorry," Black Rutile said. "who is this?!"

"I think I remember her." Garnet stated. "She was a corrupted Gem I fought once before putting her in the Burning Room. I may have forgotten her name, though."

"Hi, everybody, my name's Kunzite." The Gem introduced herself. "You may or may not have seen me a lot, but that's because I'm a bit of a shut-in and don't really get out much."

"So that explains why we barely recognize her!" Amethyst declared.

"For my song, I'm just performing a cover of a song I keep hearing on the radio, and I really liked how much the singer sounded like me for some reason," Kunzite explained while picking up a guitar and a radio. "I hope you all enjoy." Setting down the radio and pushing play on some easy-listening music, Kunzite started strumming her guitar as her song began. "Just a little time. Just a little something else instead. Just a little time. Just a little something up ahead."

"Hey, I've heard this before!" Amethyst said, nodding to the beat of the song.

"Are you kidding me right now?" Black Rutile grimaced. "She literally stole my idea!"

"I'm dreaming of being... being... being... Being human..." Kunzite continued singing. "Just a little time. Just a little something that I need. Just a little time. Just a little feeling gaining speed. I'm dreaming of going... going... going... Going somewhere and... Being... being... being... Being human." Kunzite put her guitar down and awkwardly prepared to leave when she stopped playing, only to be stopped by the crowd going wild. "Oh my, you really liked my song that much?!"

"Dang straight, you did the original version justice!" Brock smiled widely. "It's almost like you were her!"

"Agreed!" Willie exclaimed. "So beautiful!"

"I think we might have a winner here." Tristan concurred with the other judges, much to Black Rutile's anger.

"What's impressive?! I've been ripping off a song my whole act!" Black Rutile yelled as she stormed towards the victorious Kunzite and slapped her so hard, Kunzite fell to the ground. "This whole thing was rigged to humiliate me, wasn't it?!"

"Black Rutile, calm down!" Garnet yelled at the Rutile. "Just accept that sometimes, there will always be someone better than you! If it makes you feel better, we'll let you have second place."

"Besides, look at all the attention you've gotten!" Marty added, showing Black Rutile that her followers were still growing by the dozens, which was all she needed now to be satisfied with her work.

"I see. Good enough." Black Rutile's tune changed entirely as she walked off the stage. "Come my thralls; we have much to do!"

"I suppose we shall continue our indoctrination of the masses?" Aquamarine asked evilly while the Rutile Rebels, now joined by Marty, followed their fearless leader.

"Quit reading my mind." Black Rutile responded.

As the Crystal Gems helped take down the stage as the show ended, the judges took some time to exchange some friendly conversations before they went back to their respective celebrity lives. "So boys, up for a few drinks later?" Willie asked Brock and Tristan. "I know of a good place in Dover with such amazing service!"

"Eh, I got time to kill before flying back to Empire City." Brock agreed to the queer fashion model's offer. "Hey, I know we shared this thought earlier, but Black Rutile is definitely all kinds of messed up, right?"

"I believe I've seen her many times before." Tristan stated. "She made headlines for her numerous crimes against humanity and her trial not too long ago."

"We made a good choice not naming her the winner." Brock declared. "Otherwise, she'd have let it go to her head and, I don't know, use it to take over the world or something!"

"Like that will ever happen." Willie laughed. "So, still up for drinks?"

"Yes." Brock and Tristan declared as one before the three judges left Beach City behind.

Well, we had our fun for now, but next time we'll be getting back to more serious territory. On the next Little Homeworld Life, more new Gems will be introduced and it'll be up to us to decide if they're friend or foe! In addition, the Crystal Gems will start questioning their own actions and maybe start slowly falling apart. I'm sure you'll find that very exciting. Catch you next time!

#steven universe #steven universe future #fanfiction #steven universe alternate future #little homeworld life #black rutile #aquamarine #eyeball #holly blue agate #cat's eye #garnet #amethyst #pearl #peridot #lapis lazuli #bismuth #jasper #white topaz

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x-tumbles · 2 years

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MASTER LIST✨

List of fandoms i am in:

Transformers: Beast Wars(<- VERY FUCKIN UNDERRATED PLEASE- DINOBOT-), Prime, Robots in Disguise 2015, Rescue bots, Rescue bots Academy, (trying) IDW

OCs: Alphavexï(face man now), Betastrike(face man as well), Cyin and Cyang, Turboflamer, Wildcard, Greencross, Regex Emiralus

Ships: optimus x ratchet, heatwave x chase, breakdown x knockout, blades x bumblebee

Dead by Daylight

Main: William “Bill” Overbeck/Huntress

Will make a “licensed” character out of my thing

I play on mobile so if ya wanna be my friend: Xgames

Ships: ash/ace/tapp x bill

TMNT: Tales(2012), Rot(2018)

OC: Fleck(cheetah yokai)

Ships: usagi x leo

Owl house

Steven universe

OCs: Emerald(general), Pearl(light green), Lapis(light shade)

Ships: bismuth x pearl, lapis x peridot

DC: batman, JL, YJ

OCs: Crow, серый волк (gray wolf)

Ships: superman/manhunter x batman

Overwatch, and 2

OC: 수호 전사 (guardian angel)

Ships: mccree x genji, moira x mercy, reaper x soldier

Anime: avatar, naruto, kill la kill, soul eater

OCs: Xiomara, Tatsuto, Orusutā Dem(weapon)

WoF(wings of fire)

OC: Heatwave(sand/sea hybrid)

The Dragon Prince

OC: Halo(skywing elf)

Team Fortress 2

OC: The Death

Ships: demo/engi x solly, sniper x spy

Miraculous Ladybug

OCs: Hala(frog miraculous holder), Krogg(miraculous of poison/toxic/noxious), Grace(cheetah miraculous holder), Chetak(miraculous of velocity)

Pokemon

OC: Roxana(trainer), team: glaceon, zoroark, absol, gyaridos, zeraora, and lucario (rayquaza makes a special appearance)

Harry potter(sorta)

OC: self insert sorta-

Fnaf(watching youtubers play with the cool fan games too)

OC: Diaqueen

I’m not too much of a sonic fan but i made an OC cause another friend likes sonic so-

OC: Wolfe(maned wolf)

And a few other indie games

Originals i am helping make:

Countdown (CD)

Voice acting as: Ace

One of the artists/animators

OCs made for the fun of it:

TheXtra

Moonlight

Entry X

Main face(s) you’ll see: Ace “X” Cassandra + Helena “Becko” Reese

Together

Main face(s) you’ll see: Brain, Body, Heart, and Soul

Originals i am making:

Code: ROYGBVW

Main face(s) you’ll see: Green

Amazing Grace

Main face(s) you’ll see: Detective Grand

Currently undergoing construction

If you wanna support me on my original works, give me a follow and stay tuned! Ask any questions about it as well- i am putting down a BETA story on a google docs so yeah-

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smiledog15578 · 2 years

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My favorite Midwestern and trans FTM character ever

⚰️🪓🪚Reblogs are appreciated!!🪚🪓⚰️

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weaver-z · 2 years

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Ranking famous slashers (based on how likely they are to be cool with trans people)

(Disclaimer: this is a very silly ironic post for pride month).

Chucky (Child's Play)

In what can only be described as an "absolute hum-dinger" of an opening entry, we have Chucky, the only slasher who has (and explicitly supports) a transgender child. Sure. You know what? Good for him.

2. Ash Williams (The Evil Dead franchise)

"Uhh this guy isn't a slasher!" He has a chainsaw for a hand. He's killed 65+ deadites over the course of four movies and a goofy tv show with said grisly chainsaw hand. I will die on the hill that Ash is a good-aligned slasher. Anyway, Ash would also be happy to learn that trans women being more widely-accepted means there are More Women. He wouldn't even have to have being trans explained to him, he'd get it. He's dealt with so much weird shit, someone wanting to transition is nothing. Hail to the king, baby.

3. Herbert West (Re-Animator)

Herbert West looks so much like one of my trans guy friends in real life that I'm just going to decide that he's trans. My guy was synthesizing HRT in his wacky little lab long before he was filling vials with glowing green goo to raise the dead. He's still ranked lower than Ash, though, because he's kind of cringe in general. Sorry, Herbie baby

4. Bubba Sawyer (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)

Bubba definitely doesn't care about anyone's gender. He's killing them with chainsaws. That being said, the exceptions to this would occur within his own family. If one of Bubba's brothers came out as trans and you decided to be transphobic, Bubba would definitely cut you into even grislier, gorier little pieces than usual, because he's a bro like that.

5. Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th)

Jason is a conceptually hilarious character at this point, and between all of the deaths and resurrections and visits to Hell and more deaths and resurrections, he's probably had time enough to come to terms with trans people. He just wants to kill everyone at Crystal Lake, for god's sakes. Let him be. (Also, he fought a transphobe--I will explain this remark later in this post.)

6. Daniel Robitaille (Candyman)

Daniel's been dead for quite a while, so that might be a minor roadblock to his understanding of trans people. That being said, he seemed to navigate the modern world pretty deftly in the original Candyman. You might have to explain transitioning to him a bit, but he'd get the concept pretty quickly. He might still kill you with his hook, though. Sorry.

7. Carrie White (Carrie)

Carrie is in a complicated place, because yes, she was raised in a very sheltered, evangelical environment, but we must consider that she is a girlboss and a girlbeast. My verdict? After an initial period of "not getting it," Carrie would throw herself whole hog into being a trans ally. If you are trans, Carrie will be there to light transphobic people on fire. This is not an offer, it is a statement of intent. Be ready for her arrival.

8. Michael Myers (Halloween)

I think that Michael forgot what gender is a while back.

9. Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs + other movies)

Uuugh... see, I think that Hannibal would absolutely use the right pronouns and name for a trans person, but he'd definitely ask those really annoying "tell me, Will" style questions about your gender over a plate of definitely-not-human liver and fava beans. "Do you feel as though you are step in step with God Himself when you take your estrogen pills, as though your are joining in the act of divine creation?" No, Hannibal, she is just transitioning. Please chill.

11. Billy Lenz (Black Christmas)

Diversity win and loss: Billy Lenz is the world's first trans-inclusive radical misogynist! :/

12. Billy Loomis and Stu Macher (Scream)

Ghostface fans, I am so sorry, but these are two misogynistic teenage boys from the 90's. I do not have high hopes for them.

13. Freddy Krueger (Nightmare on Elm Street)

This guy is the transphobe Jason fought. Booooo. Tomatoes. I'm throwing tomatoes!

#slashers #horror #movies

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cerebellam · 2 years

Text

Something Worth Living For - Chapter 2

Ash Williams x Female Reader

Summary: You head to a motel for the night. You left in such a hurry that you didn’t pack any clothes with you. You might have to borrow some from someone...

Warning(s): Language, Large age gap

Masterlist: X

A/N: May still be subject to changes and edits. I hope you enjoy. More to come soon! 😉

“Ash, what are you doing?” came Kelly’s concerned voice from the open window of the yellow 1973 Delta’s open window.

You both had left the bar, you following him out to the car with nothing but your phone, driver’s license, and last night’s tips in your pocket. As you had said before, you had nothing left. Nothing worth not leaving behind, anyway.

“I’m coming with you guys,” you managed, thanking Ash as he held the backseat door open to you. You entered slowly, feeling Kelly’s eyes on you as you entered the backseat next to her.

Pablo was quick to turn and glance back at you too from the front seat.

“Jefe, you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I’m with Pablo on this, I’m sure you’re a great girl and all, Y/N...but Ash, you’re seriously going to get her exposed to all this? I mean, we could all die literally at any moment.”

You were about to open your mouth to answer, but Ash was quick to answer for you, huffing as he sat at the wheel.

“It’s final. She’s coming with. Give her a little time, I think she’ll handle herself nicely.”

You found yourself staring at him, thankful for his support.

“Whatever. Well, I know you you boys don’t mind sleeping in the car or the Airstream- but now that I have another lady on my team…I’m going to vote we stop at a motel or something, what do you say, Y/N?” Kelly looked over to you with a hopeful glance, smiling.

You nodded in agreement. “Please, I’m dying to get this blood and guts off me for the night,” you gestured to your clothes.

Kelly laughed.

“Yeah, sometimes it gets stuck in your hair…not a fun time.”

You both giggled in the back, and you noticed Pablo and Ash shared a look in the front of ‘Lord, what have we done’.

You drove for another hour or so out of town, as the nearest motel out of your town was a ways away. You listened in the backseat quietly about their lives, how they got where they are now. Some of it still sounded completely far fetched to you- Necronomicon, Kandarian demons…it sounded like something out of a cheesy 80s horror movie. You learned that Ash had worked with Kelly and Pablo at a ValueStop, before shit hit the fan and they had to start running. Pablo was what they called a ‘brujo’, or a shaman. It was a lot for your brain to process, but after what you saw tonight, you were willing to keep an open mind. They were currently on the hunt for some pages out of the Necronomicon that had disappeared.

You pulled up to the motel not long after, and paid for your room. Kelly and you decided to share a double Queen bed room while Pablo and Ash slept in the Airstream, Pablo crashing on the couch.

“I’m surprised you didn’t want to share a room with your boyfriend, he in the doghouse or something?,” you asked Kelly, unlocking the door to you room.

“Pablo?! God no, he’s not my boyfriend. We’re just friends.” You noticed a blush creep across her cheeks, and you decided not to press further. You noticed the way they looked at each other, even within the past few hours you’d known them. It’d take a fool not to see it.

“Oh, okay.” You shrugged, claiming a bed. You were about to head to the shower first when you stopped.

“Shit, I just realized I don’t have any clothes.”

“You can borrow anything of mine until we can go shopping,” Kelly offered.

You gave a small smile.

“I appreciate it, but you’re definitely a size or two smaller than me.”

She rolled her eyes.

“I’m sure that’s not true. But if it’d make you feel any better, maybe Ash has something lying around you could borrow.”

You could feel your face turn hot.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to bother him with-“

“Please,” Kelly scoffed. “Ash won’t care. Go ahead, I won’t steal the shower while you’re gone,” she winked.

You smiled, nodding and heading out the door. You liked Kelly, and felt like she would make a good friend.

You made your way back to the Airstream parked on the side of the motel, and mustered the courage to knock on the door.

You could hear the sound of a shuffle from behind the door, and something rattle to the floor.

“Son of a bitch…” Ash’s muffled voice cursed. “Just a second!”

You stifled a laugh and waited patiently until the chrome door swung open. Ash looked down at you. He had taken off his gun holster and unbuttoned his shirt, leaving open a small V exposing his chest. You could see the beginning of salt and peppered hairs.

You fought back a gulp. You had no idea what the hold this man had around you meant…why did you get so nervous around him??

“Y/N? Everything okay?”

“Hi, Ash. I realized I hadn’t brought any clothes with me, and I was hoping you had something I could borrow…”

“Come on in, Pablo is out hunting for snacks at the vending machine or something.” He waved you in, holding the Airstream door open for you with his mechanical hand.

You thanked him and entered his humble abode. The caravan was quite tidy despite its clutter, beer bottles on counter tops and various scattered magazines and vinyl records.

“It’s not much, but it’s home,” he started, gesturing for you to sit on the couch while he approached his dresser. You complied, finding a small patch of open brown corduroy fabric that wasn’t covered by clothes to sit on.

“I’m sorry I kind of froze up back there. Not every day you see someone’s head blown off, you know” you offered. You nervously played with your hands.

“Hey, for your first time you did great. Most folks just end up dead,” Ash’s voice vouched, muffled by the barrier to his bedroom. He was honestly surprised you hadn’t been killed. It was almost like the deadite was toying with you, rather than actually trying to kill you. It was rare for a deadite to do this, as they were very quick to kill their victims. He tried his best not to think too much of it.

You managed a smile as he re-entered the room. He handed a stack of clothes to you.

“I hope these work for you. I know they’re not your size, but they’ll probably look a hell of a lot better on you than me,” he winked.

Ash would be lying if he wasn’t turned on by the thought of you wearing his clothes. He thought you were drop dead gorgeous, but he knew you wouldn’t be into an old fart like him. Wouldn’t stop him from trying, though.

“I appreciate it,” you blushed, “also, thank you for saving me tonight. If you guys hadn’t come through…I’d be dead.”

“Don’t mention it. We’ll probably be doing a lot of savin’ each other’s hides from now on, since you’re traveling with us.”

You could feel Ash close the space between you, coming closer.

“Well, hiding behind a bar and clutching a baseball bat isn’t what I’d consider saving anyone,” you muttered.

“Sweetcheeks, stop beating yourself up,” his hand cupped your chin up towards him. He studied your face. “You never said why you wanted to come with us. Why?”

“I told you. There’s nothing left for me at home. My job is done for, my mom is dead, my dead is a deadbeat God knows where…I don’t know. It just feels right coming with you guys.” It wasn’t a lie. Something was drawing you towards this trio. You weren’t quite sure what it was. It was almost like some sort of otherworldly magnetism.

“So you’re saying you have daddy issues, eh?” he teased.

You couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Sure, something like that.”

Ash’s hand was still holding your chin up towards him. You silently hoped that maybe he’d kiss you, but that would be crazy, right? No way he’d be into a naive girl like you.

His chocolate eyes roamed over your face and before either of you could say anything else, the door to the airstream swung open. Pablo entered holding an array of snacks in his arms.

Ash released his hand from your chin and you both took a step backwards.

“So Jefe, they didn’t have any Ho-Ho’s but I found a ton of gummies and candy bars-“ Pablo looked up from his stash and stopped when he saw you. “Oh. Hey Y/N! Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, Pablo. Thanks. I was just heading back,” You turned to Ash. “And thanks again for these.”

Ash rested a hand on his belt, nodding towards you.

“Sweet dreams, dollface. See you in the morning.”

You left and made your way back to your motel room.

After a much needed shower and extensive brain-matter removal process from your hair and body, you changed into the clothes Ash had given you. It was a simple button up blue shirt shirt and a pair of boxers. They were large on you, hanging off of your frame. Thankfully they were comfy and you weren’t complaining. They smelled faintly of gasoline, cheap cologne, and musk.

You exited the bathroom and Kelly looked up from the motel TV screen over at you.

“Jesus.”

You immediately stopped, raising an eyebrow and looking down at your attire.

“What?”

“You are totally blushing right now!”

You felt your face grow even hotter, and surely redder.

“It was a hot shower,” you lied.

She looked you up and down again, a knowing smile on her face.

“Right. Well, you better have left me some,” she stood and walked past you into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

You crawled into your bed, rolling over and quickly falling asleep to Ash’s scent surrounding you.

Chapter 3

#ash williams x reader #ash williams x you #ash williams #ashley j williams #ashley joanna williams #kelly maxwell #pablo simon bolivar #ash vs evil dead #evil dead #Bruce Campbell #ash x reader #evil dead fanfic #slashers #horror fanfic

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khadij-al-kubra · 4 years

Text

Worst Impressions are the First (ch 7)

Main Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil (Human AU)

Pairings: Romantic LAMP

Word Count: 5036

AO3

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Author’s (longer than usual but it’s for good reason) Note: *The Apocalypse—2020. Zoom in on a plague rat turned writer. She has survived thesis projects, getting a Master’s degree, burnout, writing and illustrating a children’s book, being a slave for the U.S. census bureau, months of overthinking anxiety spirals, and one or two incidents involving an asshole skunk. But now, battle weary yet unwavering in her love of art and love for her loyal readers, this onesie-clad tea slurping book dragon....has finally arisen from the ashes*

I LIVE BITCHES!!!!!!! And I am SO SORRY for taking so long!!! I’ve been hard at work, been editing like a mad woman, and I even have a beta now! The gorgeous and talented @humbletortoise So I am OFFICIALLY off hiatus!!! *cue confetti canon*

Also, one of the biggest reasons I’ve taken so long to update is because I’ve spent the past month or so essentially retconning the fuck outta this fic. I realized looking back at earlier chapters in this story that, although I was proud of them at the time and greatly appreciate the positive reactions, they were...not my best work. (shitty first drafts if I’m being honest) That’s because, at the time, I was trying to split my attention between writing this fic and working on grad school stuff, which resulted in my writing for this not being as best of quality as it could have been upon first posting. This story deserves my best, and so do all of you. So now I hope to give you that.

I encourage you to go back and re-read the previous chapters up till now (trust me, they’re near unrecognizable to the first drafts, but in the best way). Or if you don’t feel like doing that, you can just continue on from here. totally cool. For the sake of convenience and my own sanity, I’ll attach the AO3 Link to this fic from the start. I may also start just posting chapter updates on tumblr but only have the link to the chapter and add my reader tags. Again, for the sake of my sanity because Tumblr is a bastard when it comes to posting fics. (Also PLEASE let me know if there are any tagging issues if anyone’s on my tags list; yet another reason i’m considering just linking my fics in the future)

Anywho, without further ado, at LOOOOOONG last, here is the next chapter!

Chapter 7 - (POV Roman)

When Roman had offered to walk with Logan to class, it was only partly out of an innate sense of chivalry; a side of himself that he rarely got to show on account of being a socially awkward gay disaster. Though mainly, he saw it as a chance to get to know his second soulmate better.

He certainly hadn’t expected two long minutes of civil but silent walking. Well, as silent as a stroll through their school could be with its usual racket buzzing around them. With a vocabulary as big as the continents of Africa and Eurasia combined, you’d think Logan would be more of a conversationalist. Alas. He merely walked in step with Roman. They glanced over at each other every so often, but Logan stayed tight lipped and seemingly impassive; fiddling with his bumblebee hair pin every now and again. Damn. Looked like he was going to have to make the first move.

Roman was bad at this. How did people usually…Oh yeah, common interest. That’s a thing. He wracked his brain for some sort of ice breaker. One that’d make him look cool and calm or, something, in front of Logan. He was a fairly decent student though not quite mathletes level. He could compliment his outfit maybe? Was that too forward? Too shallow? Maybe he could find common ground? That was as good a place to start as any.

“So! So uhh…What kind of music do you like?” Roman asked. Yeah, that’s good. Everybody likes music.

Logan glanced at him. “Can you be more specific?”

Roman’s brow furrowed. “I mean, like, your favorite genre of music to listen to?”

“Classical,” said Logan in a clipped tone.

“That’s cool. I don’t really listen to classical myself.”

Logan only hummed, his face neutral. Roman was really hoping for more than that. A few awkward seconds passed, then Logan spoke up.

“Are you perhaps a fan of the classic Sherlock Holmes novels?” He inquired.

“Um, I haven’t gotten around to the books yet, actually,” Roman said, scratching his earlobe. “I mean, I’ve heard great things about them. And I’m a big fan of the Robert Downey Jr. movies.”

“Ah. I see.” Logan said, giving him the judgiest side eye.

Come on, Roman thought. Give me something to work with. “Oh! What about theater?”

“What a frustratingly vague inquiry.”

“Well, excuse me for trying to get to know my soulmate a little better.” Ay come jode, work with me here, man!

Logan sighed. “While I understand and appreciate your intention, I believe ‘getting to know someone’ as you put it, requires a certain level of specificity. Anything less indicates a somewhat shallow level of sincere interest, and I greatly despise shallow conversation. That said, if you’re inquiring as to whether or not I enjoy theater, no. I don’t understand the concept of professional make believe, though I appreciate it as an art form. I assume you’re a fan?”

Is he seriously implying I’m shallow? Roman groused, pushing his red frames up the bridge of his nose. Ugh, forget it Roman. He’s throwing you a bone here. Take it.

“Obviously,” said Roman, gesturing dramatically. “I mean I’m no actor—Eesh. No. Yikes—but everything about the artform enthralls me. And I like all kinds of genres and eras of plays, from Shakespear to Ruhl, but musicals are by far my favorite, because like, there’s so much you can do with them design wise. I mean just look at how groundbreaking Hamilton was.”

For a second, Logan’s face actually softened, his eyes lighting up. But just as Roman thought they were finally about to make some progress, his stony companion was back to wearing that platinum puss.

“Ah. How… original.”

Roman blinked. “Are you saying my tastes are basic?”

“Well, yes.”

Augh! Okay. Yep. I don’t like him. Patton was going to be so disappointed, and Roman was too. He’d wanted so badly to get along with all his soulmates, but Logan was a snob! Way less intimidating than Virgil and his ilk, but still a jerk. I wonder if soulmarks can make typos or something? Thank the stars they’d already arrived.

Roman and Logan filed in with the rest of the class for seventh period. Somebody had the liberty of opening a window– the AC was still busted in this classroom– so for once there was actually a decent breeze cutting through the usual mucky Florida humidity. Still smelled like it would probably rain later. Good thing Roman had packed an umbrella just in case, Mom’s orders. His hair looked too good today to be wrecked by frizz.

Roman took a seat at his desk, running distracted fingers over the carved letters in the wood while he mulled over his predicament. Just look at him over there, thought Roman as he glared at Logan, not two rows away from him. Sitting with his hands clasped on the desk all smug—of course he’d be near the front—and with such disturbingly good posture. What is he, a robot? Who is he to call my interests basic, the NERVE! And okay, sure, like Hamilton, sometimes I get over excited and shoot off at the mouth. But great Zeus, does that guy show passion for ANYTHING besides academics? Roman blew a raspberry, plopping his head in his hands.

He always thought soulmates were supposed to get along, even as just friends for life. Balancing each other out, bringing out the best in you and forming a deep connection—that was the whole point. He sighed to himself. Cymbals clashed less than he and Logan did.

He was stirred from his brooding by the bell. Apparently Mr. ‘Call-me-Terrence’ Williams had materialized without him noticing. Okay fine, he should probably pay more attention, but he was having a crisis here.

“Afternoon everyone,” Terrence greeted in that measured, upbeat tone of his.

He draped his navy blue blazer over the back of his desk chair and rolled his shirt sleeves to the elbows. Roman pitied the poor guy; he had to teach sauna of a classroom all day. He could see the glisten of sweat on his teacher's smooth forehead as he wrote things on the board. Yet he still kept a pleasant attitude towards his students.

“Alright class!” Terrence started, “Today we’re covering the next section on the American Revolution. Specifically, the Battle of Yorktown...”

Roman mentally punched the air. My time has come. He opened his textbook to the right page but didn’t bother looking at it. He already knew most everything about Yorktown. Not just because he’d listened to the Hamilton soundtrack fifteen and a half million times, but also because he’d done actual research on the event and time period that the musical took place; There was always the off chance he’d get to stage crew or, heck, even dramaturg the show. He liked to be prepared.

“So the battle of Yorktown took place in 1781, but a great deal of its success was thanks to the French Allies. Many especially aided in fighting the British Troops surrounding New York. Now who can tell me where the French Soldiers first landed?”

Roman half raised his hand. He was pretty sure he knew the answer.

“Logan.” Terrence called.

Roman turned to Logan desk, where his hand was held high and mighty.

“The French Ally ships first landed in Rhode Island, then made their way to Chesapeake Bay,” said Logan, adjusting his glasses. Not even a hint of second guessing in his voice.

“That’s right!”

He almost missed the quick smirk on Logan’s frustratingly pretty face. Look at that smug—thinks he’s so smart...Okay yes, he is smart, but he doesn’t have to be a show off about it. Terrence continued through the passages, calling on a student every now and again to review. Of course, Logan got called on most and he got every answer right. Roman didn’t feel like raising his hand anymore.

“Of course there were many turning points in the revolution, but Hamilton’s return to the field for Yorktown was a key point.” Terrence continued on. “And keep in mind- this was a man who up till now had never been in a position of command before. Not to mention the mental strains he must’ve been under, especially having had to miss the birth of his son Philip, the first of three children he had.”

Wait a sec. “Well, that’s not right.”

Even though he’d muttered, apparently Mr. Terrence still heard him. “Come again, Roman?”

Shoot. “Um, I said,” Stop sounding timid, you know you’re right. “I said that was, um, wrong.”

The whole class turned to him. Oh great, history class has its eyes on me. Roman cleared his throat and tried to look taller.

“What I mean is: Hamilton had eight kids, not three. And on top of that, Phillip was born a few months after they won the Revolution, not during, so Hamilton didn’t miss the birth of his son. I mean sure, it’s a small thing, but the devil’s in the details as they say. Heh.”

Terrence gave the most insultingly bemused look. And Roman definitely heard a few kids snickering behind him. He glanced quickly at the culprits and felt his ears go hot. This is what he got for putting himself in the spotlight.

“Roman, I applaud you for participating in the class discussion,” Their teacher started gently, “but I’m afraid you’re wrong on this one. If you read your textbook close you’d see in the fifth paragraph where it mentions from one of his later letters—“

“Actually Mr. Williams, if I may, Roman is correct.”

Roman saw Logan at his desk, one hand raised while the other adjusted his neck scarf. Was the teacher’s pet actually… backing him up?

“It is a common misconception that Alexander Hamilton only had two children, even more so modernly, what with the musical having only named two of them. However Roman has clearly done his research on the plays historical accuracies, which is more than I can say for some.”

Logan shot a cool but scathing look at their recently snickering classmates and they withered. Roman fought the urge to point and laugh aloud. He did however stick his tongue out real quick. What? He could be shy and petty at the same time.

“My guess,” Logan continued, “is that this textbook edition is also either misprinted or outdated, judging by the publication date in the copyright section.”

Brows furrowed, Terrence looked at the textbook laid open on his desk. He flipped back to the front, before pulling out his cellphone—“I’m the teacher, I’m allowed to do this. You guys aren’t.”—and after what Roman guessed was a quick Google search, their teacher looked up. His eyebrows drawn in a ‘hm, well damn’ expression.

“Looks like you’re right, Roman. And thank you Logan for bringing to my attention about the textbooks. I’ll have to talk to the principal about hopefully getting some updated materials. But we’ll see how that goes,” Terrence, muttered the last part, though Roman was close enough to catch it. Terrence cleared his throat and moved back to the board. “Maybe if we call on assistance from the inside. Much like how the Sons of Liberty sent in Hercules Mulligan to spy on the British...”

“Perhaps if we knew of an immigrant who was unafraid to step in,” Logan said just under his breath.

No one else seemed to notice the reference, but when Roman did, he felt like a mini volcano about to burst rainbow lava. Apparently there was a lot more to his soulmate than first meets the eye; and now that he knew, Roman was determined to see more of it. The rest of class passed quickly and everyone filed out to the halls as the first bell for the last class period of the day rang. Roman made sure to catch up to Logan on the way out and staccato tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, Logan?” He said.

When Logan turned, he swore time slowed down for a moment. The brilliant boy’s skirt flared around his waist, and somehow his skin glowed even under the dull, inconsistent school lights. His posture was erect yet natural, he could have been raised among nobility. Amidst the stench and clamor of loud sweaty students, Logan was as poised and striking as the goddess Athena. Oh...

“Yes, Roman?” Logan asked.

Roman gulped. “I uh, just wanted to thank you for backing me up in there.”

“Thanks are unnecessary,” Logan said. “I detest when someone is shamed by other students for speaking up in class, regardless of whether or not they have the correct information.”

“Well regardless, thanks for coming to my aid in the face of academic danger.”

“Dramatic, but my pleas—oof!”

A hurried passerby bumped into Logan from behind, rushing off with a half-assed ‘sorry’. Logan, caught off guard, stumbled right into Roman’s arms. The two looked at each other, cheeks filling with heat. Roman caught a whiff of something faintly floral on Logan, something natural– a lavender and honeysuckle perfume, perhaps. It was heavenly. They were still in the middle of foot traffic though, so he maneuvered them to the side. Which was tricky since Logan was still so close to him and also a good two inches taller with the heels.

“Well,” Roman flashed his pearly whites. “Seems you’ve fallen for me.”

Logan pulled away, but his lips quirked upwards in a teasing smirk. “Oh please, I merely stumbled into you.”

“Ah, but stumbling is the first step towards being swept off your feet.”

“Bold words from an abashedly charming homunculus in such an… eye catching ensemble.”

Did he call me charming!? He composed himself, “Hey, don’t let the sweater vest fool you. I may be short but I’ve got guns.”

“Aaah. But mind over muscle, as they say. Do you find yourself up to the task?”

“Only if it’s you, my brainy blossom.”

Roman’s class was in the other direction, but Logan didn’t need to know that. They walked through the halls, conversing. class was still in the next ten or so minutes, but Roman was having fun. Banter with Logan felt surprisingly easy. Natural like they’d been at it all their lives.

“By the way, was that a ‘Guns n’ Ships’ reference I overheard, pastel poindexter?” Roman asked.

Logan cleared his throat. “It… may have been, yes. I found myself unable to resist toppling the figurative dominos.”

“In other words, you seized the opportunity you saw,” Roman said, matching his own reference to the source’s cadence, which got a chuckle out of Logan.

“Precisely. Under more casual circumstances, I may have even recited Lafayette’s part.”

“You can rap? You can rap Guns n’ Ships? Like, the whole thing, no tongue twists?”

Logan stopped for a moment, turned to Roman. The taller boy cleared his throat, and after a moment wherein he seemed to mentally restrain himself, he simply adjusted his glasses. “I have an appreciation for poetry.”

Roman blinked rapidly. Holy shit, he’s an even bigger nerd than I am. He definitely needed to see that at some point.

They turned a corner, stopping just outside of the science room. Some students were going in to take their seats, and the teacher was already making notes on the board. Logan pulled an AP Physics book from his backpack, but made no move to leave, much to Roman’s delight.

“So then,” Roman leaned against the eggshell wall, “How come you acted so indifferent earlier and called my tastes basic? Oh, and I think I remember you also implied I was shallow?”

Okay, yeah, he was still kind of salty about that. But then he saw the shamed look on the nerd’s face, and Roman wished he could have taken it back. Logan looked at his shoes then back at him.

“To be candid I was… hesitant to show the full extent of my enthusiasm. In case you thought I’d be—I believe ‘being the most’ is the term— it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve caused someone to lose interest in conversing with me due to informational overload. I nearly bored my Aunt Patricia to sleep once talking about a fascinating article on jellyfish. And considering how I blundered our initial meeting—“

“Pfft, ya think?” He mentally slapped himself again when Logan went tight-lipped and turned to go. “No, no, wait. I—I’m sorry. Truly. ...Truth is, I was no gentleman either. I’m not always great at thinking before I speak. It’s why I’m so awkward around people. Takes a while for my true charming nature to shine through.”

“Clearly. Still, you show a level of interpersonal aptitude that I, well, lack.” Logan fiddled with his hair pin again and a stray hair came loose. “Reading people and expressing emotions has never really been—It’s something I struggle with.”

Much as Logan tried to maintain his cool composed posturing, Roman could tell that this was something that really bothered him. He tried so hard to seem put together and confident and serious, but really he was just as awkward and insecure as anyone. Roman smiled softly and stepped closer to Logan, reaching up to tuck the loose ebony strand behind his ear.

“Hey, everyone’s got things about themselves they can work on. Including me,” Roman smiled. “And believe me when I say that I will never judge you for being passionate about something you like. So if you ever want someone to ramble about jellyfish or Sweeney Todd to or—I dunno, calculators or something?—I’m all ears.”

Logan’s cheeks went pink and he gave a hesitant yet sincere smile. “That’s...very kind of you, Roman. And coincidentally, I also greatly enjoy Sweeney Todd. The use of iambic pentameter and alliteration to give a succinct synopsis to the story in just the first sentence alone is pure brilliance.”

“Right!? I mean the man’s a mad genius. I’m dying to design sets for one of his musicals someday. Like last year? I came up with the concept of having the Sweeney Todd sets done in a way that highlights the class differences with the characters.” Roman went into a small three minute ramble regarding the specifics before he cut himself off abruptly. Logan was blinking rapidly, a look of mild shock crossing his feature. Roman nearly started sweating; Had he messed this up again?

“That… that’s ingenious”

Roman’s ears were burning. Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!

“Hey, Logan!” They both startled and turned to an impatient cheerleader with a ginger undercut and they/them pronoun pin shaped like a coffin. “What’re you doing just standing out in the hall, ya dork? Oh, hey Roman.”

“Uh. Hey, October,” Roman said, waving awkwardly to them.

“I told ya, Red, you only get to call me that when we’re working on a show.”

“Wait, October? Red? You two know each other?” Logan asked, brow arching.

“Kind of. They sometimes help out with costumes for the drama club,” said Roman. And they have terrible timing. I mean seriously Tobes, we were having a moment.

“Come on Lo, class is about to start, and you promised to go over my homework with me real quick beforehand. See ya ‘round, Ro.” Toby grabbed Logan’s hand and pulled him into the classroom. “You can fill me in on what you were doing with Red later.”

Logan followed his—apparently—friend into their classroom, but he shot Roman an apologetic look over his shoulder. Roman bounced a bit on the balls of his feet before following halfway into the room. Logan was in his seat with Toby showing him an open notebook. A teacher in a tight grey hair bun was writing on the board. Students at their seats were chatting, and some looked up at the short dork in red who burst in. For once Roman ignored them, his mind set on one last attempt at wooing his green skirted genius while he still had the nerve.

“Hey, Logan,” he said. “I’ve also got some great layout designs for an Into the Woods set. If you’re interested, maybe we can meet up after school and I can show them to you? Maybe we talk a bit more over iced lattes or something?”

“Excuse me, Mr. Prince, seventh period starts in five minutes,” said the teacher. “Unless you’ve suddenly transferred to my class, I suggest you stop distracting my favorite student and get going.”

“I’ll be gone in just a second,” he said. “Well?”

Logan smoothed the silky fabric of his pink scarf and said, “That sounds optimal, Roman. I’ll meet with you. By the first floor water fountain perhaps?”

Roman grinned. “I shall be counting the minutes.”

“Mr. Prince,” said the teacher with a warning glare.

Roman blew a kiss at Logan and then ducked out of the doorway. Was he embarrassed of himself? Oh definitely. Did he regret it? Absolutely not. He felt ten inches tall.

Now to complete the quest of making it to class in time. He slid off a shoulder strap to unzip his classic Mickey backpack, getting out the notebook and the relevant homework. He found them amidst the mess of spiral notebooks, granola bar wrappers, two textbooks and rainbow sticky notes. But something was missing from his folder.

“Where are those– it should be here.” He could’ve sworn he had his stapled the blocking notes in his folder. No, wait, the last place he saw them was— “Ah shoot! I left them in the tech closet again.”

Under normal circumstances, Roman would’ve grabbed them after school, but the auditorium was locked on weekends. He’d have to wait till Monday to get them and that just wouldn't do! he wanted to show Logan his notes today! I’ll bet David Korins never has these kinds of problems. Okay, okay. Still got four minutes. He could rush to the auditorium, grab the notes, and then head straight to class. I should have enough time, right? Right. Besides it was only Spanish Class, he was already pretty fluent after all those summers visiting his grandparent in Nicaragua. He spent most of class time dreaming up blocking notes anyway.

Despite not being totally convinced by his own argument, Roman immediately turned on his heel and started running in the opposite direction. After a teacher told him no running in the halls, Roman power walked through the halls with a skip in his step and a song in his heart, feeling absolutely gay in both senses of the word. Logan had actually called his idea ingenious! And the way those sharp eyes softened just for him- he would squeal if not for the fact that it would draw too many eyes to him. The halls were still filled with a few stragglers rushing to the last class of the day, and he was already trying not to get caught being late for class.

Now he knew how Maria felt in West Side Story. Y’know, before Act 2. Oh sure, they’d gotten off to a shaky start, but as the Bard’s adage on the course of true love said; and Roman felt it in his gut that this was certainly the start of true love. Not just with brilliant Logan but also with soulful Patton as well. He didn’t know how an awkward geek like him ever got so lucky in the soulmate department…Then again, there was still the matter of Virgil. So maybe not so lucky.

Roman touched his arm, remembered flustered yet flattering purple words. I know they both said Virgil is secretly sweet and I can sympathize with the terrors of closet town, but COME ON! Virgil? Really? That gloomy gladiator? There had to be a mistake in that. After all, Patton liked to see the good in everyone. Logan was much more of a skeptic, but he does seem to have a blind spot with sarcasm. Maybe Virgil was messing with them somehow. Even if he’s not a jerk jock, the guy’s still kind of a creepazoid; with his dark eyes and cheeta-esq gait and those probably huge muscles hidden under that bulky jacket and big hands...

His gay disaster train of thought came to a merciful halt as he reached the auditorium. Roman pushed open the doors, took a pause to breathe in the quiet comfort of this chapel of the arts. Okay yeah, chapel was maybe a little kind for the school’s auditorium which doubled as the drama Club’s rehearsal space/prop closet backstage/Mx Joan’s unofficial office because the school didn’t fund the arts programs enough. Even so this space was Roman’s sanctuary. The place where he could help create magic from the shadows, bring stories of those gone and living to life. Here, Roman found something of a community with his fellow backstagers, glee club losers, and budding thespians (the nice ones). So he loved every squeaky stage plank, every duck taped seat cushion and every speck of dust that floated in the spot lit air like fairies.

Mx. Joan wasn’t around for once, thankfully. Probably in the teacher’s lounge or rendezvousing with the school nurse or something. They were pretty chill and Roman knew he was their favorite student, but the choir director/drama club moderator/music teacher (this school really needs to fix its funding habits) wouldn’t have been too keen on Roman being deliberately late for class.

Roman walked down the aisle and to the side room by the stage. It was originally a janitor’s closet, but their club moderator transformed it into a ‘Crew Only’ Storage Unit… Okay it was still a closet, but with less bleach and more coils. This was where they kept important equipment for semester shows, like the lighting and sound boards, along with other supplies. Roman made a quick mental note to get more gaffer tape later, seeing their supply was low.

He looked through the small pile of scribbled and highlighted sheets with the lighting cues for the spring show. I’ve really gotta get a binder for these…Ah-Ha! Here you are! Roman pulled out the stapled sheets titled ‘Into the Woods Dream Set’ and carefully shoved them into his bag. Perfect timing too. He might just be able to make it to class after—

RIIIIIIIIIIING

“GAH!”

What the heck? He could’ve sworn he was alone in there, but that yelp just now said otherwise. Up close, Roman saw that the curtains were rustling, accompanied by sounds of heavy breathing and moaning, yet not a footstep to be seen or heard.

Holy SHIT, this place IS haunted! I KNEW that backdrop fiasco last semester wasn’t caused by cheap slit plywood. My supplies are the best quality allowance money can buy. Great Macbeth’s bloody knife, I TOLD Kai we should've sprung for a ghost light! Remus always teased him for being superstitious but look who’s laughing now.

He dashed back into the crew closet and grabbed the heavy push broom leaning in the corner. Roman Prince was NOT about to be caught unawares and possessed by the ghost of a disgruntled student without a fight. He would defend his domain of imagination!

Roman slowly climbed the stage steps, wielding his broom like a bow staff, turned the curtain corner where the noises were coming from and was about to release a war cry on the—

“Virgil?”

Roman nearly dropped his weapon at the sight of Virgil Alighieri—star athlete, object of his fears and supposed soulmate—curled in on himself trembling and crying.

His jacket was pulled over his head like a hood, yet Roman could see the tear stained face peeking out from underneath. Virgil’s eyes were squeezed tight, making the dark circles he’d never noticed before more prominent. There was no denying the athlete had muscle but he was more lithe—thin enough for Roman to wonder if the guy ate enough. Virgil’s trembling could rival a chihuahua, shaky hands clutching his knees, and he was clearly in the midst of a bad panic attack.

Roman had built Virgil up in his mind as being like some odd combination of Hades and Ares. The strong silent wolf within his pack of jocks, a surging thunderstorm just waiting for the right nerd to come along and piss him off enough to strike down like the bolt of Zeus.

Someone to be afraid of.

But now? Seeing him in this state, all alone and whimpering like a wounded animal...it broke Roman’s heart.

He set the broom down gently and carefully crouched down in front of Virgil. “Virgil,” he said softly. “Virgil, can you hear me?”

Virgil let out a breathy sob but otherwise didn’t seem to register him. Just how long had he been sitting here like this?

Roman was at a loss for what to do. Sure he knew plenty of people with anxiety but never saw someone having an actual panic attack before. He did know that if he didn’t help the other calm down soon, Virgil was liable to pass out. He’d never wanted to hug someone so badly in his life. Roman tentatively reached out a hand but stopped. What if touching him makes it worse? What if I startle him so badly he actually has a heart attack!? Maybe I should get the nurse. But I can’t just leave him like this.

He caught sight of the colorful soulmarks written on Virgil’s arm. Saw his own harsh thoughts: ’Dios mio, he’s staring right at me—like he wants to punch my face!’

Roman took his shame and forged it into steel. I won’t abandon you...my soulmate.

Virgirl’s let out a hiccuped cry, and this gave Roman an idea. Something from back when he was a child. It was probably stupid and a long stretch, but it was all he could think of. He readjusted himself so that he was now sitting right next to Virgil, making sure not to startle him. Roman cleared his throat, then as softly as he could, he began to sing.

“Come stop your crying, it’ll be alright.

Just take my hand, hold it tight.”

Roman one and carefully gentled his hand over Virgil’s. After a moment, he felt a light squeeze, and that encouraged him to keep going.

“I will protect you from all around you.

I will be here, don’t you cry…”

General Tag: @quoth-the-sparrow @altruistic-skittles @em-be-lievable @justisaisfine @broadwaytheanimatedseries @thekeytohappiness-is-you @jynxlovesluck @queer-human-being @phlying-squirrel @ab-artist @grey-lysander @a-valorous-choice @xx-fandom-potato-xx @impatentpending @book-of-charlie @randomslasher @tinkslittlebelle @insanelycoolish @ironwoman359 @icecoldparadise @bluebloodstains @purpleshipper @patchworkofstars @axyzel @hissesssss @beautifully-terribly @pink-and-purple-flowers @thatsanswitch @6tick6tock6 @hanramz-the-fander @azlinne @helplesscreator @thestoryofme13 @bibbidi-bobbity-booyah @accidental-sanders @moonstone-fox @smokeyrutilequartz @madly-handsome @puns-and-patton @notveryglittery @eequalsmcscared @safesandersides @lizziepopanime @anxiously-unsatisfied-world @unikornavenger @humbletortoise @backatthebein @mephonic @paperghastly @ravenclawangst @iamtrashcans @loganberrysanders @ierindoodles @a-new-witch-in-learning @punsterterry @your-average-pangirl @goldteethandacurseforthistown @dragonsight9 @gattonero17

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ayawriter · 4 years

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Flare Gun Mishaps

Aesop: why’s it so hot in here

Joseph: it’s me obviously

Naib:

Naib: actually… i kinda started a fire

---

It was a normal match. Or at least, it was supposed to. It was the usual team of Eli, Aesop, Naib, and William, fittingly dubbed Team ANEW for how often they were together, both in, and out of games. They were up against Joseph, who, fortunately, didn’t feel up to having a proper match, opting to just sit and watch the four do their thing. At the moment, the Photographer was watching Aesop and Eli decode by the dungeon entrance within the Sacred Heart Hospital map. William was busy sharing one of the stories of his past matches with Joseph. Usually, Aesop would prefer decoding alone, but since they weren’t in a serious match, he let it slide. Plus their company wasn't so bad. Despite William’s loud nature, there was something oddly endearing about his friendly nature, and Eli was quiet and calming by default, though sometimes the way he’d stare at you could be kind of unnerving.

“Oh yeah, speaking of...Where’d Naib go?” William paused one of his stories of a previous match to search around for their friend.

Eli also looked up from his side of the machine.

“Oh, you’re right.”

Aesop wiped some sweat from his brow.

“Is it just me or did the temperature just increase?”

“Huh,” William started fanning himself with his jersey, “You’re right.”

Eli merely hummed in agreement, taking his hood off to cool off some.

“Hey, guys!” Naib jumped over a wall, joining the group. He looked a bit burned, but he was wearing his “worn clothes” outfit so it was hard to tell if they were just part of the “look” or if they were recent. He looked almost guilty.

“Hello, we were just wondering where you were,” Eli greeted.

“Aha...I’ve just been around...Exploring. Yeah.”

Aesop paused in his decoding to fan himself. “Either way, why’s it so hot in here?”

The photographer smirked, “Well, it’s me obviously.”

“Actually,” Naib started, flushed with embarrassment, “I kinda started a fire…”

Silence.

“You--What--How?” Eli was the first to break the silence.

“I-uh-I found a flare gun in one of the chests and was messing around with it, and it accidentally fired and hit some dry grass, and then it just...spread?”

Eli was trying extremely hard to stay calm. Aesop and William slowly backed away and prayed for their idiot of a mercenary, sensing his impending doom. Even Joseph was being wary of the Seer.

“WHAT MADE YOU THINK MESSING AROUND WITH A FIREARM WAS A GOOD IDEA?!”

Naib flinched, “I’m not dumb, I know my way around firearms and weapons and the like. I was a former Gurkha soldier and mercenary! I just...Since Martha fires that thing all the time during matches, and these maps seem to have some kind of protection against all kinds of wear and tear, I just thought it’d be fine! I didn’t think a fire would actually start!”

“Goddammit, Naib…”

“Sorry.”

Eli sighed. He felt a headache coming on. Naib was probably one of the most unlucky people in his friend group. Of course, he can somehow magically start a fire when such a thing is supposed to be impossible. He even started smelling the smoke and could see a huge cloud of smoke and ash coming closer. The heat wasn't helping calm his nerves either. Joseph coughed once, gathering the attention of everyone in the small space.

“How about I surrender for today. I would rather not be charred coal today if I can, and the same can be said of you survivors as well.”

“Yes, please. Thank you, Joseph.”

The photographer nodded once before the notice of the hunter’s surrender popped up and they were transported back to their respective sides of the manor. If people noticed the slightly smoked smell coming from the four, they didn’t mention it. One look at them told the others that Naib had something to do with it. At that realization, a collective internal facepalm resounded throughout the halls, and everyone made sure to be extra nice to Eli for the rest of the day.

---

Finally got around to this! I absolutely love @totally-correct-idv ‘ s blog. But since I can’t draw very well, let alone, do a comic, I decided to try writing a story revolving around these quotes.

Original Quote:

https://totally-correct-idv.tumblr.com/post/189973545690/aesop-whys-it-so-hot-in-here-joseph-its-me

#identityv #naibsubedar #williamellis #eliclark #aesopcarl #josephdesaulnier #photographer #mercenary #forward #seer #embalmer #incorrectquotes #ANEW

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glenngaylord · 4 years

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OUTFEST 2020 FILM REVIEWS: The Rest Of The Fest

As the curtain closes on another Outfest, this one presented under extremely unusual circumstances, I sit in awe of the filmmakers and of the staff who put together not only a great group of films, but managed to creatively bring them to its audience online and at drive-in screenings. Typically, you find yourself having to choose one film over several others, but with this new format, you have a great chance of seeing everything you want. In past years, I found myself lucky if I saw 15 films. This year I saw 23 features and 4 shorts programs out of the 160 on the schedule.

As it’s impossible to get full reviews submitted for everything while the festival is still chugging along, I wanted to write capsules of the remaining films not covered at TheQueerReview.com . Please visit the website for all the other reviews I wrote as well as those by my colleagues.

THE OBITUARY OF TUNDE JOHNSON ★★★★★

Melding a Groundhog Day-style concept with police violence against black people, this stunning film could not be more prescient and emotionally overpowering. A black gay teenager relives his moment of murder over and over again, with slight shifts in the narrative taking us to someplace unexpected and earned. Director Ali LeRoi directs his first feature as if he’s been doing it all of his life and has interpreted Stanley Kalu’s ingenious script with a great cinematic approach. Gorgeously framed, beautifully acted, written, and directed, this is one of the most powerful films of 2020.

TWO EYES ★★★★★

I can’t form sentences here so I’m gonna vomit out words: Instant classic. Glorious. Set over three centuries seamlessly melding a triptych of stories about gender identity. I’m a blubbering mess. Fantastic and very funny last line. Travis Fine is a very gifted filmmaker who screams love child of Terrence Malick and Kelly Reichardt. Heartbreaking. Inspiring. Unforgettable. Montana is so beautiful. Barstow is not. A perfect film for anyone who wants to find their place in the world. I wouldn’t complain if TUNDE and TWO EYES both received Best Picture Oscar nominations.

DRAMARAMA ★★★★

Theater nerds rule in this incredibly endearing, early 90s set film about a group of high schoolers discovering themselves in one night at a ridiculous Murder Mystery-themed party. Hilarious script, vivid and wonderful performances, and the opposite of a “Coming Out” movie in the best possible way. Jonathan Wysocki has given us The Breakfast Club for air-kissing, mid-Atlantic accented freaks and geeks.

CICADA ★★★★

What happens when a traumatized, bisexual man who has more sex partners than any standard montage can contain slows things down to concentrate on one kind but also traumatized young man? This elliptically told film has a fun, flirty side but carries its heaviness with great ease. A terrific feature debut for director/writer/editor/lead actor Matthew Fifer.

THE STRONG ONES (LOS FUERTES) ★★★★

From Chile comes this sexy, moving story of two men at cross purposes who form a beautiful bond. Set against some stunning scenery and mining the chemistry between its two leads for everything it has, I am half-jokingly calling it Brokeback Andes. It’s so much more than that trite, hackneyed comparison.

MONSOON ★★★1/2

Director Hong Khaou’s followup to Lilting sets its sights on modern day Vietnam as Henry Golding’s character visits to find a suitable place to distribute his mother’s ashes. It’s a terrific mediation on a gay man finding a sense of belonging in a place he’s never been and Golding proves himself to be a subtle, compelling actor. Perhaps a little too quiet and reflective, the film makes up for what it lacks in narrative drive with its awe-inspiring cinematography and immersive qualities.

P.S. BURN THIS LETTER PLEASE ★★★★1/2

What an unexpected surprise. Michael Seligman and Jennifer Tiexiera’s documentary about a treasure trove of letters dating back to the 1950s brings us into the world of drag queens from almost 70 years ago. With many of its subjects not only alive but in fine form telling their stories and the dishiest voiceover readings ever to grace a film, I was not only thoroughly entertained, but I didn’t expect to weep like Laura Dern at the end. Oh, this is so so so so good.

MINYAN ★★★★

Eric Steel’s feature debut has its own unique tone and a star making performance by Samuel H. Levine, a spitting image of a young Al Pacino/Sylvester Stallone hybrid. With its 1980s Jewish Brighton Beach backdrop, this powerful yet subtle film about a young man coming to terms with his sexuality as well as his place within his religion, it’s a stunning debut. Ron Rifkin is stellar as Levine’s charming grandfather and Alex Hurt (William Hurt’s son) has his father’s intensity. Fantastic, lived-in production design which feels like its decade without resorting to the usual candy colored tropes and a evocative score makes this a memorable experience. Reminiscent at times of On The Waterfront, this film puts a fresh new spin on a coming of age tale and finds so many moving moments from first sex to an elderly gay couple hiding in plain sight. A must-see.

SHIVA BABY ★★★★

Writer/Director Emma Seligman must have studied Rosemary’s Baby quite a bit with this angsty story set mostly at a memorial service. Rachel Sennott is fantastic as a young lesbian who moves from one cringe-worthy moment to the next in an attempt to avoid as much conflict as possible. The great supporting cast includes Polly Draper, Fred Melamed, Dianna Agron, Molly Gordon, and Jackie Hoffman, all note perfect. Less a comedy and more of an emotional horror story, Seligman knows how to make the best of a cramped space and throw up an endless variety of obstacles. You just want Sennott’s Danielle to get her goddamned bagel with lox and cream cheese, but the fates have something else, something better, in store.

COWBOYS ★★★★

Steve Zahn gives a career best performance in this moving story of a father with mental health issues and his trans son escaping into the Montana wilderness. Sasha Knight makes an impressive debut as Zahn’s son and Jillian Bell expertly walks that fine line between villain and empathetic character. Its comparisons to Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid are not coincidental. Not perfect by any stretch, it may feel fairly conventional, but it’s tackling a vibrant subject matter. Extra points for giving Ann Dowd a role where we don’t hiss at her.

BREAKING FAST ★★★

Solid romcom with a Muslim backdrop, this very tight, deceptively simple script provides just the right amount of sparks between its charming leads, Haaz Sleiman and Michael Cassidy. While structurally not breaking new ground, the entry point into a world we don’t see enough of on screen coupled with food porn for days makes this a fun, funny, goes down easy delight.

ASK ANY BUDDY ★★★1/2

Q: Daddy! Daddy! What were the 70s like down at the Piers in NYC? A: Oh shut up and watch this movie.

An experimental collage of vintage gay porn and archival footage from the disco, pre-AIDS heyday gives this film a mesmerizing, museum installation quality. While technically without a story, you feel like you’ve gone on a journey nonetheless. Would pair well with William Friedkin’s Cruising.

DRY WIND ★★★1/2

Slow cinema meets voyeuristic gay porn in this one of a kind Brazilian exploration an arid small town, a workers’ union crisis, and a man obsessed with the Tom Of Finland drawing come to life who motors into his life. Overlong and a little too obtuse as it goes along, it’s worth watching this Alice In Wonderland takes a quaalude, gets a very hairy back, and has a lot of sex in the dirt.

NO HARD FEELINGS ★★★★

This year’s Teddy Award Winner at the Berlin Film Festival, Faraz Shariat’s film uses its backdrop of a refugee camp in Germany to tell the story of Iranians and Irani-Germans searching for a better life. Its three leads bring a spark and youthful energy to a story with devastating undercurrents. A wrenching glimpse into the emotional effects an oppressive culture has on its people, yet told with a driving pulse.

LILY TOMLIN: THE FILM BEHIND THE SHOW ★★★

A look behind the scenes as Lily Tomlin and wife Jane Wagner workshop their legendary 1980s Broadway show, The Search For Signs Of Intelligent Life In The Universe. It’s great to see these two at the top of their game and get a glimpse of their creative process, but this documentary is almost devoid of incident and feels more like a sweet gift to the fans than a fully realized film.

SHORTS: WHAT A BOY NEEDS ★★★1/2

A mixed bag here of people searching for excitement, I found a couple of gems here nonetheless. Not to take away from the shorts I don’t mention, I want to single out two exceptional films. Ruben Navarro’s Of Hearts And Castles looks great, has a beautiful vibe, and shows us a lovely connection forming right before our eyes. Kiko’s Saints proves highly original as we follow a female Japanese artist on assignment in France become obsessed with a gay couple who have a lot of sex on the beach. Combining animation with fairly explicit sex, I loved seeing the male gaze from a female perspective.

THE CAPOTE TAPES ★★1/2

I love Truman Capote. I grew up at a time when smart authors found themselves on talk shows and were treated like superstars. I’ve read his books and always have been in awe of his ability to be himself. Featuring never-before-heard tapes of Capote’s friends being interviewed by George Plimpton, unfortunately, I don’t think this repetitive documentary gave me anything all that new. It’s still touching at times and for the uninitiated, this is a great overview of his life, but I was watching the clock.

OUT LOUD ★★★1/2

A moving look at the Trans Chorus of Los Angeles as they prepare for their first public performance. With its ticking clock storyline, director Gail Willumsen expertly interweaves storylines of its founder and members. As such, you really learn what’s a stake and what it means to them. I was lucky enough to see the chorus perform David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust a few years ago and basked in the power of its mere existence…and was also ridiculously entertained.

TWILIGHT’S KISS (SUK SUK) ★★★1/2

This quiet charmer form Hong Kong shows us something we almost never get to see on film - two elderly gay men meeting and falling in love. The fact that both have been married to women doesn’t stop them from exploring their feelings. A little to gentle by half, I still was in awe of this rarity.

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poemsforpersephone · 5 years

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The third and final book rec list for fans of The Last Sun!

The Infinite Noise by Lauren Shippen has really cool empathy powers which, although not the two way bond Brand and Rune share, does remind me of the emotion reading aspect in TLS. The m/m relationship in it is also super sweet.

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzie Lee. This one I’m recommending because the protagonist is a snarky asshole just like Rune, and the writing style is so well done. It’s m/m and genuinely such a fun and quirky book. Also the cover art is gorgeous!

Silver in the wood by Emily Tesh. This is an LGBT novella where a wild man called Tobias lives in a place called “Greenhollow,” , where, and I quote, “Old secrets better left buried are dug up, and Tobias is forced to reckon with his troubled past—both the green magic of the woods, and the dark things that rest in its heart.” So im recommending this one simply because of the involvement of secrets and troubled pasts haha.

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. The front cover of this one gives me The Hanged Man vibes like, all the way to the bone, which is initially what prompted me to rec it on this list. But also: “Gideon has a sword, some dirty magazines, and no more time for undead bullshit.” Idk about the dirty magazines but the rest of it scREAMS Rune. and the main character is a lesbian!!! yay!!

The Black Veins by Ashia Monet. “In a world where magic thrives in secret city corners, a group of magicians embark on a road trip—and it’s the "no-love-interest", found family adventure you’ve been searching for.” It’s like someone looked into my heart and picked out my deepest desire and then wrote it and gave it life. This book is super diverse and super awesome.

The Deathless Girls by Kiran Millwood Hargrave is a f/f take on Dracula basically. I’m recommending it because the main character and her sister go through a traumatic event similar to the loss of the sun court, when men come and burn their home to the ground along with their people and they’re captured and taken as slaves. It’s about family, friendship and survival, and it’s beautiful.

The Never Tilting World by Rin Chupeco. An LGBT book where climate change deniers are the villains? ... you have my atttention.

Prosper’s Demon by K.J. Parker. This is about a morally questionable exorcist! It’s a satirical, interesting take on the topic of possession with a kick ass cover.

The Wishing Heart by J.C Welker. An LGBT fantasy novel where our protag, Rebel, finds a jinni’s vessel and is thus thrust into a whole new world of trying to keep said jinni from everyone else and find a way to free her! The world building is awesome and so are the characters.

Tarnished are the Stars by Rosiee Thor. “A secret beats inside Anna Thatcher's chest: an illegal clockwork heart. Anna works cog by cog -- donning the moniker Technician -- to supply black market medical technology to the sick and injured, against the Commissioner's tyrannical laws.” i have the hardbook version of this and the cover??? is so?? beautiful.

The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum. TALKING OF PRETTY COVERS. “Ryann Bird dreams of traveling across the stars. But a career in space isn’t an option for a girl who lives in a trailer park on the wrong side of town. So Ryann becomes her circumstances and settles for acting out and skipping school to hang out with her delinquent friends.”

Predatory by Brooklyn Ray. WERELEOPARDS FRIENDS!!!! god damn wereleopards im?? so happy. m/m

The Lost Coast by Amy Rose Capetta. FOUND FAMILY QUEER WITCHES. need i say more.

Portraits of a Faerie Queen by Tay LaRoi. The fey run amok in this one! f/f with a gorgeous front cover.

Unbroken by Brooklyn Ray. step 1: rent haunted house. step 2: fall in love with witch-turned-demon who inhabits it. step 3: profit???

The High King’s Golden Tongue by Megan Derr. This one is lovely! Nice world building with an emphasis on languages and kingdoms, and a lovely m/m romance that builds from kind-of-enemies-but-not-really to lovers. the audiobook of this is great.

Salt Magic, Skin Magic by Lee Welch. SORRY YOUR BOOK IS SET WHERE? MY HOMELAND? MY COUNTRY MY COUNTY MY HEART? we never get any attention imma go cry in the corner. its a historical fantasy m/m romance in YORKSHIRE gosh im here for it. And let me tell you... this is one fantastic book. I really, really enjoyed it.

Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner. fantasy, m/m, lotsa swords!

Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst. f/f fantasy with a princess who has fire magic in a kingdom where magic is forbidden!

Freedom’s Fate by Jennie Taylor. SPAAAAAAACE i love books in space.

Pegasi and Prefects by Eleanor Beresford. “Charley's final year at Fernleigh Manor is complicated by a runaway pegasus, unwanted Games Captainship, a dangerous new rival and, most of all, falling head over heels in love with another girl. What is a reluctant Senior Prefect to do?” catch me while i swoon.

The Necromancers Dance by SJ Himes. m/m vampire/necromancer romance, urban magic and fantasy, very fun and smooth read, a little bit insta love but not totally.

The Star Host by F.T. Lukens. “Ren grew up listening to his mother tell stories about the Star Hosts – a mythical group of people possessed by the power of the stars.” a m/m fantasy book set to a sci fi fantasy background.

Empty Vessels by Nicholas Williams. “Lucas Mahler babysits clones all day, but he's trapped under the legacy of his body-builder father and his genius girlfriend. When Lucas tries to rise above, he's murdered. Waking up in the body of a clone, Lucas embarks on a mystery full of blood, old friends and lost loves.” idk the whole clone thing in this just always reminds me of lord tower making all the different fake versions of people he knows lmao.

BOOKS NOT YET OUT

So, the thing is. 2020 is very close friends, and some awesome books are even closer. These below are books I’ve not read yet, since they’re not out and I am a poor ARCless girl, but they’re books you definitely want to keep an eye on.

Witches of Ash and Ruin by E. Latimer. Bisexual OCD protagonist who is a witch D: its everything i could want.

Wild Sky by Zaya Feli. LGBT fantasy with dragons! It sounds so, so fun.

Girl, Serpent, Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust. “A captivating and utterly original fairy tale about a girl cursed to be poisonous to the touch, and who discovers what power might lie in such a curse...”

The Fascinators by Andrew Eliopulos. “The Raven Boys meets Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, about an openly gay high school senior in small-town Georgia.” m/m fantasy which looks super sweet.

Cemetery Boys by Auden Thomas. “Yadriel has summoned a ghost, and now he can’t get rid of him.” THIS SOUNDS SO COOL oh my god. Yes PLEASE.

When We Were Magic by Sarah Gailey. “A sly, witchy dark comedy about four teens whose magic goes wildly awry.” Magic, darkness, comedy, what’s not to love for fans of the tarot sequence??

The Extraordinaries by T.J. Klune. I absolutely love T.J. Klune’s writing so I can’t wait to get my hands on this. m/m superheros!! friends!!! get excited!! I think anyone who likes how witty K.D. is will enjoy this writing style.

The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune. YES ANOTHER ONE this looks so good too we are BLESSED. “A magical island. A dangerous task. A burning secret.”

Fragile Remedy by Maria Ingrande Mora. “Sixteen-year-old Nate is a GEM—Genetically Engineered Medi-tissue created by the scientists of Gathos City as a cure for the elite from the fatal lung rot ravaging the population. As a child, he was smuggled out of the laboratory where he was held captive and into the Withers—a quarantined, lawless region.” The idea of the Withers kind of reminds me of the westlands.

The Fell of Dark by Caleb Roehrig. UHM im always here for lgbt vampires in young adult fantasy fiction. The author says that “this book is gay and filled with monsters” which also fits the last sun so i figured it belongs on the list lmao.

Ruinsong by Julia Ember. “In a world where magic is sung, a powerful mage named Cadence is forced to use her power to torture her country’s disgraced nobility at her ruthless queen’s bidding.”

#book recs #lgbt book recs #scionsofatlantis #hangedmanpromo

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