#at dfferent times! of the day!

[languagendersex]

actors really be out there feeling emotions in situations

[fynnsmarvelrecs]

So this is my first attempt at a Rec list! It is WinterIron and I think I’ve got a decent mix of short and long fics, fluff and angst, sad and happy. Please bear (Bare?) with me if the formatting on this list is weird, this is my first time posting anything like this. A lot is under the cut so I don't clog peoples feeds.

Truth Serum Doesn't Discriminate

 By: SummerRoses0612

Word Count:   8,809

Great if you like emotionally dense and harder topic fics. MIND THE TAGS!!!!!

The Avengers have never been a family, no matter what they advertise to the world. What happens when the truth isn't anything like it seems? Or The one where Tony Stark gets drugged with truth serum and the Avengers realize they never even cared to look behind the masks the engineer wore.

Talk Dirty To Me

Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar)

Word Count:  2,255

Such a fun fic! its lighthearted but not so far into crack that you can’t take it seriously 

Imagine Bucky is smitten with Tony at first sight but Tony's not single. Bucky copes by telling Natasha about all the dirty things he wants to do to Tony in Russian. After Tony's dumped, Bucky still talks about him in Russian only now it's half dirty and half romantic. Natasha finally gets fed up with the morons and says something to Tony in Russian, who replies back (in front of Bucky), because oops, he's fluent and understood all the conversations before. AND Bucky and Natasha talking in Russian about how much Bucky loooves Tony without realizing that Tony speaks Russian as well. Being the kind of person he was now, Bucky had crossed happy endings, fairness, and a whole mess of other things off of his list of beliefs since HYDRA got their hooks in him. Shoving the disappointment down wasn’t even that hard. He’d had plenty of practice. It was just… “What a shame,” he sighed in Russian as Tony walked past, giving them a wave over his shoulder as he headed into the kitchen. “The things I would do to that ass.”

speak my language

imposterhuman

Word Count:  2,181

I’ve got a thing for polygot Tony fics and you can strip that out of my cold dead hands lol. Also oblivious Buck is always a plus

5 times tony pretended not to understand bucky + 1 time bucky realized it ft. pining in foreign languages

Cuddle Duty

Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar)

Word Count:  3,126

This is so fluffy and full of pining but not angsty enough to be a hard read! Such a good quick feel good fic to read!

Sleep-deprived Tony is a cuddle monster that glomps onto the first person he finds. Bucky has a crush on Tony and tries to always make sure he is the first person sleep-deprived Tony finds, thinking a cuddle session is the only time he'll get to have the genius in his arms. The one thing no one had felt the need to warn him about was also the only thing for which he’d have actually appreciated a heads up. Tony liked to cuddle. Looking at him, you wouldn’t have pegged him as the cuddly type. Nothing about him looked cuddly. He wouldn’t let people hand him stuff, even with his improved mood he hung back half the time, as if he wasn’t part of the team. The other half he got so in your face some of them might have missed the hanging back. Nothing prepared him for the sight of a zombie-like Tony staggering into the common area and latching onto Clint (of all people!) like a limpet.

Bad Days

NotEvenCloseToStraight

Word Count:  1,975

This is so cute and I love fics that personify the Winter Soldier as dfferent fRom Bucky.

Prompt: Bucky likes Tony, but is too scared to tell him. What he doesn't know is that every time he has a "winter soldier" moment, he is constantly protecting tony and not letting anyone near him, so tony already knows that Bucky likes him ("genius, remember?"). Bucky finally gets up the courage to talk to Tony, only for Tony to tell him what's been going on and he's been waiting for Bucky to be comfortable enough to actually tell him. Happy ending! I've been on a winter soldier binge (thanks to the alpha WS you did!!) and I just love the thought of Ws being triggered in the tower and while everyone is creating a perimeter etc Tony walks in sleep deprived and due to how adorable he looks Ws aggressively cuddles and protects this sleepy cuteness! ******** A quick fic of Tony enjoying how beefy Bucky is ********* Bucky panicking bc he can feel the WS creeping in & the team being shocked at how the WS in basically in love with Tony & how he is protective of him

Four Strings and Second Chances

Vashoth

Word Count:  35,439

This is legitimately one of the best WinterIron fics I’ve ever read and I want the entirety of it engraved on my gravestone lol

It was reluctance to let one of his finest inventions ever out of his grasp that made him take a couple days over a week to send the arm to Pepper’s office. But all things considered, Tony figured that sending finest prosthetic that had ever come into existence--literally grasping an olive branch--was one of the classiest gifts he’d ever given. He’d included a note and everything. ‘Barnes, Can help with installation. Or not. Up to you. --Stark'

Such Sweet Revenge

ali_aliska

Word Count:  167,714

I think this might be the best fic I’ve read to date to be honest with you. Its so so good!

When the Rogues are back in the States after being pardoned, the New Avengers want nothing to do with them and as far as Tony is concerned, if he never speaks to them again, it'll be too soon. After all, he didn't spend the last year putting himself (and his family) back together only for his former co-workers to ruin all of his hard work. But then he gets a hand-written letter from the Winter Soldier himself, apologizing for the events that transpired and an off-handed comment from Rhodey about Rogers failing to take care of an obviously miserable Bucky Barnes sets in motion Tony's new, oh-so-evil plan to get some payback. After all, what better revenge than to steal the Winter Soldier away from his best friend? The only problem: Tony sucks at being vengeful, but apparently he's an expert at inadvertently falling in love.

So that’s It for now. Make sure to leave your authors Kudos and comments! If anyone has any pairings they want to see, suggestions on improving formatting, or anything else let me know. :) Until Next Time, Fynn.

[magioffire]

(cw for discussions of drugs/drug use)

@ crime/detective fiction writers, urban fantasy writers, writers who want to put fancy made up sci-fi or fantasy drugs into their homebrew world, writers who write characters who use drugs, and people who just need a good resource for  learning about altered states of consciousness, ive got you.

 i recently remembered two sites i used to frequent for researching psychoactive substances, and they continue to be useful, thorough resources to this day. i also have had a few people come to me over the past few months asking for such resources to help with their writing. i feel like i should share them with everyone! most people might not even find these websites in an average google search.

its hard enough being a writer and having a search history full of ....questionable google searches, all for the sake of research of course. the more taboo or specific the information, the harder it is to find reliable and non-biased sources of research. drugs are likely among the most difficult topc to find information on.  where does a person need to go to learn about such things?  make a deal wth an evil dark web wizard in exchange for forbidden drug knowledge???

wouldn't it be nice if you just already knew some free, safe, surface web websites to go to that would take you directly to the information you're looking for, saving you tons of time of scouring search engines for little crumbs of info?. well, your prayers you didnt even know you had have been answered. here you go:

erowid.org

ive used erowid as my go to for reading other peoples personal experiences with pyschoactive substances since i was a teenager. its not just a drug experience archive though, it also hosts plenty of scientific and historical articles (some very old and rare that would be pressed to find freely available in many other places on the internet) about pyschoactive substances and altered states of consciousness of all varieties. another great thing about erowid: it lists the LEGALITY of each substance it catalogues in many dfferent countres. erowid uses legal, academic and community sources  to provide a much more well rounded view of the topics it hosts.

erowid catalogues personal experiences of real life people who have published their experiences to the site (located in erowid’s psychoactive experience vault). people have recorded their experiences using everything from coffee, to lsd, to cocaine, to 5-meo-dmt, to alcohol, to mad honey, to cough syrup.

it is a go to source if you need some insight into the mind of someone recalling the most intense mushrooom trip of their life, or if you are curious if anyone has actually even *tried* that one obscure drug you heard about in a movie once, or you need to know the hour-by-hour subjective effects of a certain drug. theres good experiences, bad experiences, spiritual experience, mundane experences.  i highly recommend erowid for anyone looking for a more organic, personal, and much less clinical AND less criminalized view at the effects of psychoactive substances on minds and cultures.

https://psychonautwiki.org

pyschonautwiki will give you pretty much everything you need to know about every single psychoactive, ever, and its always being updated.

on any given page you will find information like: historical and cultural use of the drug, what drug class it belongs to, the pharmacological make up, common routes of administration, subjective and physiological effects ranked in terms of how frequently they occur and at what doses, what is considered a threshold dose, an average dose, a heavy dose, an overdose, and a lethal dose (all lethal doses are overdoses, but not all overdoses of every drug out there are lethal), and lots of safety info. this site goes very deep into recording the cognitive, sensory, psychological, emotional and physical effects of drugs.

its a super clean, easy to navigate site. i believe its most useful as a resource to writers who want to know how to portray a drug trip or drug abuse accurately down to the last detail -- as every drug creates a unique and entirely subjective effect.  like erowid, this site’s collection of information expands beyond just substances: it also has information on other states of consciousness not induced by substances, including lucid dreaming, meditation, and near-death-experiences.

long gone are the days of portraying your character’s fever dreams or  sci-f space drug trp as a parade of pink dancing elephants (unless, of course, thats exactly what your’e gong for. then by all means). now you dont have to do nearly as much guess work  as to how a specific substance generally effects people, and get more creative ideas for how you can rattle your character’s psyche.

hopefully, these resources might prove helpful to find a no-bullshit attached  resource with minimal anti-drug propaganda, and most importantly credible information about drugs and drug use. so people can research these things without ever actually getting involved in anything dangerous. they are also, obviously, good harm reduction resources, which is the original intention of these sites.

i will continue to add if i find more good safe websites!

disclaimer: these sites are intended to be used for educational and research purposes. do not try anything illegal or dangerous that may be recorded on these websites.

[equallyshaw]

the medicated series: jamie drysdale pt 2

Warnings: swearing, grieving, medications/hospitals, talk of body issues, talks about weight.

Word Count: 4.8k +

Little Background: Eliza James is the girlfriend of Cale Makar, she has rheumatoid arthritis. She prevously worked at The Pavillion with kids who had dfferent autoimmune diseases and chronic pain. She now works with the orginization. Cale's Masterlist can be found here.

← Part One. & Part Three. →

────────────

Sofia turned over onto her side, watching the morning Denver sun bleed through her new white shades. She sighed, rubbing her eyes trying to get herself to wake up a bit more. Sofia had been in Denver for the past month, adjusting to the mountian air, elevation and treatment. Two days after she flew in with Erik, she met the top neuraologist and rheumatologist at Denver Medical Center - per Erik's help and discretion. He spared no expense for the younger sister, missing games and practices in order to accompany her to numerous doctor appointments and tests. He would also drop her off and pick her up from meetings with a social worker in The Pavillion; that is a center located within the Denver Medical Center for numerous chronic pain and autoimmune conditions. Most notably run previously by Eliza James who now works as a community outreach manager for the avalanche organizaiton. Though Sofia did not know, Erik was having some of the guys over that morning for brunch as well as there other halves and had invited Cale and Eliza over. He was hoping potentially, that she'd convince Sofia to attend talk therapy. She had been pushing it off, convincing herself that she didn't need it or that she could manage without. That proved to not be the case.

Sofia got up and got changed, slowly as possible. In order to not fall or get uncomfortable, she took her time and then went to her connected washroom. She brushed her hair, washed her face and brushed her teeth before putting on her gold earrings to her double pierced ears. She smiled, weakly. She stared at herself in the mirror, taking in who she was. Now. She saw the weight gain that came with MS and the medications it required, she saw the never ending under eye bags from chronic fatigue and restless nights. She saw somebody older than her birth age, 21. She didn't recgonize this Sofia Rose but nevertherless, it's what had been dealt and knew she just had to keep going. What other option was there? Sofia walked out of the office turned bedroom on the first floor, and heard people talking. She sighed and silently cursed herself. Well, cursed Erik for not saying anynthing.

She walked out into the kitchen, across from where the group was having brunch. Erik was the first perosn to notice her starting up the expresso machine, she scrolled mindlessly on her phone trying to ignore the eyes peeling into her. As well as the text messages from Trevor and Jamie. The two would be there that week for a pre season game, and she was nervous. She hadn't spoken to either of them and did not want to. She couldn't bring herself to 'expose' who she was now. Physically, that was. Sofia walked over to the fridge to grab some coffee creamer and as she walked back she looked over and saw some faces looking at her, she smiled and continued what she was doing. Stirring the expresso, she quickly put away the creamer and headed out towards the backyard. Trying to take in some of the last days of hot weather. She sat down on the back steps and sipped her expresso, while also checking her email. She had a social work appointment today to check in with how she was doing physically and see if they wanted to make any adjustments for treatment. She sighed, seeing some messages come in through the text app. Her group of friends out in California, seperate from Jamie was asking her if she was coming back anytime soon. They knew she had MS and were curious to see if she was finishing her last two semesters on time or not. She didn't know, but she knew she would become restless soon. She would need something to focus on and simply, 'distract her' from what was going on.

Back inside, the conversation turned towards Sofia and how she was doing. As soon as Erik left practice that one day to fly out to California they knew something was seriously wrong. Erik would never leave, let alone jet off to another state. And when they came back, they saw less and less of Erik- for good reasons of course. Erik (without Sofia's knowledge) had taken on some guilt and helplessness with everything. How could somebody her age get such a debilitating disease? It did not make sense, and thankfully Eliza has been able to speak to him everyday he is at the arena. Eliza has been giving him advice on how to be there for Sofia, how to be there for himself and how to not put the blame on himself. There was no way that he could of prevented or protected her from getting this disease. Somethnig Eliza's father had done and from time to time still does, when her arthritis is bad. "How is she doing mentally?" Eliza questioned sipping her water. Erik sighed, feeling the tension in his body rise. "She still won't admit that she needs help- mentally. She doesn't do anything besides her daily morning ane evening walks. All she does is read, nap and listen to music. Sometimes she'll bake. But other than that, nothing." He admitted and the team could see him visibly sigh. "I mean im no doctor but I think that's good. I mean not good, but she's getting out and is moving twice a day. Baby steps, EJ. Baby steps." Eliza offered giving him a soft smile and he nodded. "Have her stop by the arena tomorrow if you can. Or I can head over to the pavillion and check in." Eliza continued and Erik nodded, "That'll be good. She has an appointment tomorrow at the Pavillion but she's dropping me off at practice so she can stop in." Erik confirmed and ELiza nodded. "Isn't Jamie coming in tomorrow?" Gabe asked realizing what tomorrow's date was. Erik nodded along with Jackie, "Are they gonna see one another?" Mel questioned and Erik shrugged. "I said that it was up to her, but he's gonna try to force it and she just doesn't need that right now." He confessed and they all nodded, "If I am correct, they are on a break. He calls and texts but she doesn't respond." He concluded and they all nodded. "God, that's rough. They're so young." Bo Byram added and everybody nodded. "You're the same age idiot!" Gabe joked lightheartedly causing everybody to laugh.

Sofia walked in the house to laughter and made her way back to the kitchen before taking off for her morning walk around the neighborhood. "Sofia! Come meet everybody." Erik called over and she sheepishly made her way. Erik said the name of each person at the table and she waved softly, "Hi, im Sofia. The superior Johnson sibiling." She mused causing everybody to agree. Erik put a hand to his heart and pretended to fake sob. "You'll get over it,buddy." She mused before saying goodbye to everybody and walking out the front door.

She made her way back into the house, and to her surprise the guests had left. "Hey Sof!" Erik said from the living room and she made her way into there, curious to see what he wanted. "Hey, Eliza left this for you. She would love to talk to you when you drop me off." He explained handing her the card, "She's the one that worked at The Pavillon who now works with us." He explained after seeing her confused look. She sighed and nodded, walking back into her room to shower. She didn't need help she thought, she was going to get through this on her own. She glad she had walked out of the room or else she would of gone off on him, but he didn't need any of that. Not after everything he had done for her. She hopped out of the shower and brushed her hair, thinking of what she wanted to do that afternoon. Cookies? Yep, she was going to be making cookies. After getting dressed for the day and making sure her hair was untangled she walked into the kitchen ready to make a mess.

────────────

Sofia pulled up to the arena and begged his sister to come in with him, he wanted to show her something. Eliza's office that was. Sofia sighed, agreeing to go look at some merchandise real quickly before heading off to the Pavillion. The two made there way inside, Erik greeting workers that passed. The two got into the elevator and buzzed up to the 6th floor. "Woah." Sofia stated as soon as she saw the window that overlooked the ice. "Yeah." Erik smiled seeing his sister light up with a huge smile. "Oh my god!" She said as she stepped next to the window. She stared at the ice for a few seconds before she heard chatter behind her. She took one last look before turning around and walking back to Erik. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. "That's wickedly cool bro, its so HUGE!" She said using her hands while laughing. She looked in front of her and saw him. Jamie followed Trevors stare and Jamie's eye grew wide. Sofia looked towards Erik before being saved by the angel herself. Eliza quipped, "Sofia!" She smiled with Sofia whipping towards Eliza who rushed towards Sofia; trying to find some comfort. "Sofi-" Erik cut Jamie off, and blocked him from moving past him. "Come on EJ, let me talk to her!" Jamie begged as Eliza shut the door on the guys. Sofia sat down at the chair in the corner, the fluffy one that all the guys took when getting advice from the angel herself; ELiza. Sofia wrapped her arms around herself, trying to make herself small. "Hey, Sofia." Eliza said softly, pulling a chair in front of the sad girl and sitting down. She rested a soft hand on her knee, trying to comfort the girl. "He saw me." She sobbed, and with tha Eliza pulled the girl into her arms. "He saw me, and I-I didn't want him to. Not yet. I wanted to sur-surprise him when I went back out." She said crying. Eliza frowned, trying to piece together what she meant. Sofia gave her clarification. "I've gained so much weight, Eliza. I look so different. I'm just not the kind of girl who dates guys like him." She sobbed, thinking the worst. "Oh Sofia." Eliza cooed, trying to control the shakes the sad girl was having. Eliza pulled back after a few moments and wiped the tears off of Sofia's cheeks and pushed some hair behind her ears. "They're you are, pretty girl." Eliza mused and Sofia softly smiled. "Im im sorry." Sofia apologized and Eliza shook her head. "No, don't ever apologize. Your feelings demand to be felt and released. Don't self doubt yourself Miss superior Johnson." She mused to the younger girl, who nodded sniffling; while cracking a small smile. "Now, why don't we talk some more about Jamie? Or anything you want? Literally anything." Eliza smiled, grabbing two bottles of water for them.

Sofia wiped her nose with a kleenex, "Well Jamie had I have been together for two years. As soon as we both came out to California we met, but didn't date until two years ago. So we met eachother four years ago, he's my best friend. A shoulder to cry on, lean on, best surfing partner and late night dancing pro." She said sipping some water, Eliza listening intently. "But, I don't think we'll be together again. Again, I am not the kind of girl who are seen with him. I've gained 30 pounds since started these medications that are supposed to be helping me. They are, I think I don't have many tremors but - gosh, I wanted to surprise him with the girl he fell in love with." She finished looking at the wall. "Well, unfortuntly. Weight gain is the con we have to take in order to feel better. I've gained,lost and maintained weight since I was diagnosed when I was 12. I was put on a steroid and my god, it loves my body. I can't get off it of it, but the weight gain or water retention is worth my ability to function as normal as possible." Eliza opened up, and Sofia looked towards her. "Yeah, it's not pretty or fun." She shrugged, "But I wouldn't have been able to hike or kayak this summer in BC with Cale. No chance." She finished and Sofia nodded. "And believe me- I was and still am sometimes insecure being with Cale. You see how I am, I am not skinny. I am curvy, I have big boobs and im short so im stumpy looking but Cale loves it. He loves me." She said trying to reassure the girl. Sofia nodded, "A little weight gain makes you hella sexy. Or beautiful. I don't know what you liked to be called." Eliza said making a silly face, causing Sofia to giggle. "So screw what any guy thinks and if that's Jamie so be it. If not, fuck him. Ill let Cale know to heckle him on the ice. Which will probably take a lot of convincing and chicken parmesian but anywho." ELiza trailed off causing Eliza to laugh loudly. Unknown to Eliza and Sofia, but EJ stood with Jamie down the hall. Talking and trying to convince Jamie to not do anything. But then they heard her laugh, "You really think im gonna stay away now hearing that again?" Jamie said looking at EJ like he was dumb. Erik rolled his eyes, "Five minutes and after that I'm grabbing Trev to get you ok?" Erik demanded and Jamie nodded, thanking the older hockey player.

Back in the room, Eliza went on about what she did for the team and what she used to do at the Pavillon. "Oh you have to see Eric! One of my best friends and you have to meet Martha! She loves the team, and is so fucking sassy it kills you. She always has notes ready for Nate when Cale and I go see her." She smiled, pulling out a sheet from her work bag. "Wait? Cale goes and visits?" Sofia questioned and the older girl nodded. "That's where we met actually. Where he pestered me into giving me my number." Eliza joked and Sofia smiled. "Even though it is a little different between Cale and I. With me having it pre realtionship, but from what I have heard from Erik about Jamie- that boy loves you. I would give him a chance, if he's really to be there for you and talk to you." Eliza said, gaging her reaction. "Okay, Ill talk to him." Sofia announced and Eliza smiled. "Here's my personal cell number, incase you need to talk to somebody day or night. I gotcha girl." Eliza smiled writing her number on a sheet of paper and handing it to the girl. Sofia smiled widely as she wrapped her arms around the older girl. ELiza smiled, before pulling apart. "And it's Sofie or Sof. That's what my friends and family call me." Sofia mused and Eliza nodded, before walking over to the door and opening it for her.

Jamie's head perked up as soon as he heard the door open, and he saw Sofia walk out. She looked in front of her and saw Jamie. Jamie looked on with curiosity and sadness. Maybe with some frustration sprinkled in there. She gave him a small smile, and met up with him. "Hi Jamie."She said avoiding his gaze, while he tried to take in her presence. She wrapped her arms around her chest, looking at the ground. "Ho-how are you?" He questioned and she shrugged, "Im fine. I guess." She said looking up and meeting his gaze. His eyes poured into hers, and she felt the same butterflies she had so many times before. Yet, she saw the concern laced with tears. "How have you been?" She questioned, adjusting her stance. He shrugged, "I've missed you. Sof- God, i've really missed you." He said honestly and she nodded, feeling her lips tremble. "I know, me too." She sighed, rubbing her hands on her arms. "Are you- are you gonna come back?" He questioned, hoping to hear a hopeful answer. She nodded, "At some point yes. However, Im gonna be back in my dorm. I need to be around my friends." She responded and she saw the small faint smile slightly dim. He nodded, clearing his throat. "Well, let me know when you get back ok?" He asked, trying to read her reaction. She nodded, "I will Jamie, don't worry." She smiled softley before leaning in kissing his cheek. He melted into the small kiss, upset that it was cut short. "Bye, Jamie." She said before walking off.

She made her way back to her brother's car. She texted him, letting him know she was on her way to the Pavillion. She drove off, listening to some Renee Rapp, Tswift and Adele. Old tswift ofcourse, thanks to trevor. She parked close to the door as possible, and made her way down the path that took her straight to the outpatient center. The front desk ladies smiled at her, and she smiled as she signed in. "How are you today Miss Johnson?" one of them asked, and she shrugged. "Im alright." she responded, before perking up. "Did you guys know Eliza who used to work here?" She questioned, hoping they did. She saw two big wide grins appear on their faces and they looked at one another. "We've known Eliza since the first day this pavillion opened. Our cherished warrior, showed everyday despite any pain or setbacks. She did so much for our little group of warriors, and its just a shame she left us." One of them explained, "But she's doing so much for the Avalanche. Besides, she comes in here every week to check up on the little one's and us ofcourse." The other added and they both nodded. "Oh wow, I actually spoke to her today and she reccomended to meet with Erik." Sofia casually proclaimed. "Oh yes! Erik and her; thick as thieves. So much justified chaos with them. We would hear them hooting and hollering after the pavillion closed for the day. Erik is the absolute best, and is such an amazing supporter of her and Cale too." One of them said giddily. Sofia smiled and nodded, "Is it true that Cale comes in here too?" She asked curiously. The two women looked at one another with a small smile, "Every week Sofia, and if he can't he'll come in twice the next time he can. With or without Sofia. He's a cherished visitor and avid one at that." and with that Sofia felt more at ease. "We love Cale. He cares about us, gave us such nice gifts for our birthdays this summer. Which reminds us to tell Erik to stop giving out precious info about us." The one joked causing Sofia to giggle. "Well thankyou so much, I appreciate it." Sofia said readjusting her purse on her shoulder. "Would you like to meet with Erik?" The one on the right asked, "He has an opening after your appointment." She stated, and Sofia pondered. "Just a meet and greet, besides anybody who knows Eliza is always welcomed." The left one said, and Sofia nodded. "He is down the hall from your appointment, just head on that way afterwards. And Im Marcia." She introduced herself. "And im Alice." The other said and Sofia smiled, "It's nice meeting you both officially and chatting. I really appreciate it." Sofia smiled and then walked off towards the door on the right.

35 minutes later, she was out of her appointment and headed towards this Erik dudes office. Erik looked up instantly, when he heard the knock. He took in all 5'3 of Sofia and smiled widely. "Sofia!!! It's so great to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you." Erik said sweetly, as he stood up to hug her. Sofia gave him a confused look, unsure of how he knew about her. "Eliza couldn't stop talking about you and I also peeked at your file." He said clarifying. She nodded, sitting down. "Water, gatorade, starbucks coffee?" He questioned, heading over towards his mini fridge. "Water is great, thankyou." She thanked him as he brought one over. He sat in the chair next to hers, hoping to make this a casual conversation. "How did you appt go?" He asked sincerely, sipping his starbucks coffee. "It went well, sticking with the same plan. And came up with a plan to start working out again, and trying to lose some weight. More me, than their plan." She said sipping her water. He nodded, "Good good. Hannah is fantastic at her job! Im so glad you got her..she goes above and beyond." He mused, Sofia nodding. "So Sofia tells me you stopped by her office today." He stated, crossing his leg over his other. "Yeah, well. I was kinda ambushed by my ex...and well, I confided in her my fears and insecurities." She confessed, alarmed by her open honesty. Erik nodded, "And how she wanted me to see somebody or talk to her about everything." Sofia added. Erik nodded, "We can most certaintly set you up with the best. Though, I am a little sad that our previous gal isn't here anymore." He said sadly. Sofia gave him a sheemish smile. "I think she wants to keep a distance between being your therapist/social worker and having a friendship and confidant. What I gathered from our brief text messages today." He explained and she nodded, "Yeah, I got that too from our convo. Though, could she possibly reconsider?" Sofia toyed with the possibility. Erik thought for a second, "Girl I would have had her be my official therapist if she would." He joked, causing Sofia to laugh. "So no?" Sofia clarified, and Erik shrugged. "She may, that's up to her. Though in the meantime, I will send some info your way about Hannah and you can schedule on your own time." Erik offered and he swiftly moved back to his desk, to forward her contact info to her email. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket, and confirmed that she got it. "Thankyou Erik, I really appreciate it." She said sincerely, for the first time in a long time; that had to do with her MS. He nodded leaning back in her chair, studying her. "She was right, you are easy going and an enigma." He mused, giving her a smile. "Besides, anybody who is a friend of Eliza, is a friend of mine." He said sincerely standing up. She did too, following him towards the door. "I hope to see you soon Sofia." He offered and she smiled, giving him a hug goodbye. "Drive safe." He stated before shutting the door. Maybe just maybe, things might be turning around.

Sofia walked inside to see Erik at the kitchen counter with..Jamie. Jamie looked back at the door once he saw Erik perk up a bit. "Hi guys." She simply stated, dropping off her keys and bag by the door. She looked for Jackie in her office, before she made her way back towards the kitchen. "Where's Jackie?" She questioned EJ. "She's still at work, should be back in about an hour." He responded, and she nodded. She stood between the two, on the side of the counter. "Jamie was just stopping by to chat. That's all." EJ explained, and she nodded. "Could we have 5 minutes?" She inquired, looking at EJ and he understood who she was reffering to. He nodded, smiled and walked out. She slowly looked over at Jamie and gave him a small smile, sending instant relief through him. "We we- need to talk. I owe you that." She said, making him nervous. He nodded, and she motioned for him to follow her. She shut the door behind him, as he took in her new surroundings. California Beach themed room, he didn't expect anything less. She was absolutley enamored with California.

He sat down at her desk chair, and she sat down on the bed facing him. She sighed, getting ready to just dump everything on him. Though knowing, he only had limited amount of time before he had to leave to go back to the team's hotel. "So as you know I have MS, it is a agressive and progressing disease. Once it starts, there is no way to stop it. Yes, medications can help slow the progression but at the end of the day, i'll never get better. Yeah, I'll have better days than others, especially because im so early into treatment BUT I want you to know everything so that if we get back into a relationship again, you know what you are in for. I owe you that, because this diease is not friendly especially to those around the person." She stated, and he nodded swallowing. He nodded for her to explain, and she did.

She went through the never ending doctor appointments, tests, how she was going to be needing therapy every week to start her treatment. How much medication she took, why she took so much, why it mattered. She then spoke about the hopes of her treatment, what the doctor had said. She explained the side effects, the ugly realities of living with an incurable disease. She explained that this would isolate people in her life and their's; again, if they got back into a relationship. She explained that not everybody would understand what was wrong, why she wasn't going to get better, the ignorance she could possibly experience with that and the sheer isolation this disease and any disease for that matter could accompany. She allowed Jamie to take it all in, accept and embrace it. As much as he could, because at the end of the day she couldn't force or make people understand and accept, she couldn't; and that was something she knew she needed to talk about in therapy. "Finally, even if we do get back together I want you to know that things will change. It's inevitable, but I want you to know my love won't change for you. I will still hold the same love for you even if I can't show it how'd id like to show it J." She confluded.

Jamie looked down at the his hands, trying to comprehend and understand what everything meant. He knew no matter what or despite what she told him; he still loved her. He wanted to be with her for the long haul, even if it took her awhile to come around. "Sof-" He paused looking back up at her, took a brief second before he smiled at her. He had tears brimming his eyes, one's of gratitude, compassion, understanding and all together, unrequited love. Even if he didn't full understand just yet; he knew he would over time. Sofia took in the tears she saw visibly, and held her breath. "I promise to be there no matter what, I promise to show up even when im not there physically. I promise to be there for doctor appointments, drive you to and from tests and therapy. I promise to be by your side always, without hesitation." He paused standing up and squating in front of her as soon as he saw that she was beginning to cry. She held her hand to her mouth, trying to hush her sobs. This was everything and more she wanted to hear, but it was understandably overwhelming. "I'm here until you don't want me to be there anymore. I promise to be your best friend, confidant and partner through it all. I promise that we will go through this together. I love you Sof, this doesn't change the way I feel about you or our future." He concluded, as she covered her face with her hands. He gently pulled at her wrists so she could properly look at him. She frowned, in embarrsment. He wiped her cheeks clean of them, all was left was redness. She shook her head, nervously giggling. "What are you thinking in that pretty head of yours?" He inquired bringing her hands to his lips and holding them there. She sniffled and blew out air. "I just- I'm overwhelmed a bit thats all. I really did not expect you to stick by me." She confessed, and he shook his head. "Never, will I leave you my love." He stated confidently. She smiled before pulling him in for a much needed and long overdue kiss. Everything that they still wanted to say but didn't know how to put it into words, they portrayed in that kiss. They parted, pulling eachother back into their arms. The familiar warmth oozed off of Jamie, sending a signal of 'home' into her body. She smiled into his shoulder, in awe of him.

||

I hope you guys enjoyed !!!!!

Tags: @fallinallincurls @nicoleloveshockey @hockey-lover-22 @hockeyboysarehot @jayrami3 @nolanmoylee

Please like and reblog; I appreciate it !!

[v1ctimplagued]

NAME : nic

PRONOUNS : they/them

NAME OF MUSE(S) : billy

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : discord 'cause ims are notoriously unreliable and hard to track.

EXPERIENCE / HOW LONG ( MONTHS / YEARS? ) : I've been rping since I was a literal child. It's been 15-ish years but on Tumblr since 2013/14.

BEST EXPERIENCE : I've had a lot over the years. A lot of them have been around really amazing, talented, and sweetheart muns who I befriended. They're precious to me and often times followed me muse to muse.

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : When people approach me to write (ship) with a Billy with zero regard for my depiction of the character. It's off putting to be put on a roster of a character people just like ooc without any real deeper dive into how I in particular write him. Love my muse for the way I write him please.

MUSE PREFERENCES FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT : Angst. But I am sucker for anything that's well-written and feels-provoking. I like writing smut but I am super fickle about it 'cause I tend to overthink it. And fluff is great too! Less opportunity for Billy but I still really enjoy it when it's possible.

PLOTS OR MEMES : I prefer plotting but I usually cannot cold approach plotting. Memes are the best way to start writing with me so I can get a feel for the muse/character and their particular dynamic with Billy. Once that is sorted out with me, I can plot up a storm on a good day.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : Almost exclusively long replies here. I sometimes try to do shorter things for convenience sake but I typically lose interest or just word vomit anyways for smaller things. One liners? I don't really like them.

BEST TIME TO WRITE : Late at night when I cannot stop myself from word vomitting 'cause I am too tired to overthink my wording and such.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : Trauma-wise? Yes. But we are opposites in personality and how we handled it. I think that's why I enjoy writing Billy so much. He's so dfferent than me but I can peep into his head on why he acts the way he does and often empathize with things others probably wouldn't. That being said, he's my meanie and I love him LMAO.

Tagged by: stolen from @hawkinshellraiser

Tagging: whoever wants to :P

[kahran042]

Jonas Corbin’s backstory

Jonas Richard Corbin: -Born in Foxwood, New Hampshire to Richard and Donna Corbin on August 22, 15 years before the events of the series. -Jonas lived across the street from the wealthy Bernhardt family, and became good friends with their daughter Kiera, who was just a month and 10 days older than him. Their son Adrian also became somewhat of a big-brother figure to Jonas. -When he was three, Jonas taught himself to read. -Shortly after Jonas' eighth birthday and before he started third grade, he and Kiera were climbing trees, and Jonas dared Kiera to climb to a particular branch. The branch broke, and Kiera fell and broke her left arm. Adrian, who was in charge at the time, lashed out at Jonas physically and verbally in a combination of anger and fear. This is why Jonas is afraid of Adrian. As a side note, although Adrian and Kiera have both forgiven Jonas for the accident, he hasn't forgiven himself, which is part of why he's so FINE* (in the Aerosmith sense). -Shortly afterwards, Jonas' parents' divorce was finalized, and he and his mother moved to the other side of town. This meant that he and Adrian would not have a chance to reconcile, nor would he see Kiera recover. To make matters worse, Jonas and Kiera were placed in dfferent classes until seventh grade, and so they grew apart, especially since the Corbins' custody agreement allowed Jonas to only see his father every other weekend, which was also his only opportunity to see the Bernhardt siblings. He was able to sign Kiera's cast, though. -In an interesting coincidence, though, the house that Donna and Jonas moved to was next door to Kiera's best friend Chloe Seaver and her brothers Mark and Justin. Jonas quickly befriended Chloe, and Mark became a new big-brother figure to him, despite being a bit of a bully. -When Jonas was in third grade, the Bernhardts' cat Angel had kittens, and they gave one of them to Jonas, who named him Leo after the constellation because he was going through a space phase at the time. -Despite the divorce being relatively amicable, Jonas still felt lost and insecure, which led him to adopt his class-clown persona. Since it made him popular, he kept it up even after things stabilized. -When Jonas was in fourth grade, he met Brad Thompson, and they became best friends, often having play dates at each other's homes. Brad also befriended Chloe, and the pair became a trio. Jonas also met Brad's sister Mia at this time, but never really knew her well, despite her being only one year his junior. -Sometime around this time, Jonas' father Richard started dating a woman named Monica, who he eventually married, making her Jonas' stepmother. -A year later, when Jonas was in fifth grade, Monica gave birth to his half-sister Samantha, with whom Jonas has always had a complicated relationship - he loves her, but at the same time resents her for stealing his father's affection. -In seventh grade, Jonas and Kiera were placed in the same section, and Jonas officially started crushing on her. -When Jonas was thirteen, Samantha stabbed him in the arm with a fork. To this day, he refuses to sit next to her at meals requiring forks. -The series starts with Jonas as a high school sophomore who's had the good fortune to be assigned the locker next to Kiera's in the same year that Adrian went off to college. *Bleeped-up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional.

[crackedwindshieldpoetry]

My favorite stanza from a mini manifesto I'm working on.

Would you read the rest based on this excerpt?

Determined by the Drowning of trial. My peers watched me, poised at the microphone I couldn't keep my volume loud enough for, worried my posture would pin me an imposter, that my stoicness I was told to have would belittle the words from my mouth, they watched me spin my ring engraved Fear Not. Oh but he etched his name with different meaning in a dfferent place at an different time, deepening the scar that "You did this to him," because he took what he wanted that day and I'm different. Indifferent.

Ash.

Thanks for reading

[sheenalawig]

EVERY DAY

By: DAVID LEVITHAN

Novel “Every Day” is a young adult romance and fantasy novel written by David Levithan. It was published on August 28, 2012, by Knopf Books for Young Readers and is recommended for ages 14–18. David Levithan is born September 7, 1972 he is American young adult fiction author and editor. He has written numerous works featuring strong male gay characters. Six of Levithan's books have won or been finalists for the Lambda Literary Award for Children's and Young Adult Literature, making him the most celebrated author in the category. Every Day is a New York Times bestseller. Every Day's main topic is, Every Day's main protagonist, who goes by the simple but pure name of “A”, A wakes up in a different body every morning. He must take over the life of whoever he wakes up in for one day, making decisions for them and accessing their memories to know more about them. The message of the novel “Every Day” is there is no set definition or picture of love, “Every Day” makes it so that we can see a totally separate side of love that is still humanly possible. Despite being in a new body each day, A is committed to being there for Rhiannon.

At the start of the novel, A wakes up in the body of a male high school student named Justin. Justin is not someone A particularly likes—he is disorganized, insensitive, and unkind—but A resolves to respect Justin’s body and life regardless. After a rushed breakfast and a quick interaction with Justin’s parents, A heads to school. At Justin’s locker, a girl anxiously approaches. A quickly identifies the girl as Justin’s girlfriend, Rhiannon. Observing her tentative body language and expectant expression, A realizes that Justin treats Rhiannon poorly, often making her feel small and anxious in his presence. Although A has resolved to remain detached and doesn’t typically invest in the relationships of the hosts, A feels drawn to Rhiannon. When Rhiannon asks to meet at lunch, A agrees. When Rhiannon finds A at lunchtime, A impulsively suggests they ditch the rest of the school day together. Rhiannon says she wants to see the ocean, and she convinces "A" to skip school with her. As the day goes on, "A" falls in love with Rhiannon, as she confides to Justin her troubled home life, following her dad's mental breakdown that almost resulted in her family losing their home. Rhiannon, in return, feels a rekindled love for Justin, seeing as he has seemingly changed into a more thoughtful and caring person than he was before. The next day, Rhiannon finds that Justin has reverted to his old, careless self, and doesn't even remember the day before. Meanwhile, waking up in the body of Amy, "A" masquerades as an exchange student in order to be close with Rhiannon…

I love the novel Every Day because it shows us that true love doesnt base in looks if you truly love the person the physical appearance is not important, what you feel inside is. I love the part of the novel when Rhiannon still loves A even though A was in different body everday. Rhiannon still loves A even A was in dfferent body, what important for Rhiannon is what is there inside not the physical appearance. I didnt love about the story is the fact that Rhiannon and A will love each other in that way. They didnt have the chance to love each other in the true body of A. I hate it because it is very complicated that A is waking up in different bodies every 24 hours. And rhiannon doesnt have the chance to meet the true rhiannon.

I therefore conclude that in love physical appearance is not important what you feel inside is what important. In Every Day by david levithan it helps me to realize that true love still exist and it made me realize and believed that love is very powerful and colorful. And in love we need to sacrifice for our loveones just like rhiannon did when she continue to love A even though A was in different bodies in every 24 hours..

[fl5793]

Courage

Courage

[Verse 1]

I’m stuck in bed paralyzed where the heck am I? All blind all lies that I thought I survived It’s all blurry “no worries” she said all up in a hurry “just side effects” so I’m not dead “no your not dead oh girlie it’s all up in your head take a deep breath right now cause I know that your scared” Mom, of course, I’m scared!! I can’t see, I can’t move, heck I don’t think I can breathe am I dying “No your surviving you living right now your courage is what made alive right now today I ain’t lying,” she scurried right away leaving me speechless by what she said

[Chorus]

It took for me courage to go out and be the me I am today it takes courage to go out and do something risky it took for me to live life normally now that I survived I’m a special me a me who survived somethin deadly

It took courage for me to take a chance like that it took courage for me to withstand l the pain medication like that it took courage for me to live life normally knowing my state my mentality now those cursed memories is what encourages me

[Verse 2]

Next day all in pain I can’t move I can’t eat can’t even talk to my friends probably think I’m dead The End All I wanted to do was to leave but I’m stuck here but hey at least I can see can’t even use the bathroom without getting jelly legs the pain I felt just from gettin out of bed reminds me of the pain I felt from just watching those stupid bootleg movies ( not even bootleg they rip offs) thinkin I’m done being weak thinkin just had enough so I get up cause like Yhe Jeffersons I’m movin on up now I push myself harder and harder I can walk now cause I ain’t staying in this hospital no longer or longer their food sucks anyways the only boost I got was to stronger and stronger against the cold cause I felt like Anna when she got ‘Frozen ‘ WHY ARE HOSPITALS SO DANG COLD I need to get back home with my mom’s baked mac and cheese with some smoke turkey alrighty I’d eat anything at all if I could get out here please oh please god save me from my cold misery

[Chorus]

It took for me courage to go out and be the me I am today it takes courage to go out and do something risky it took for me to live life normally now that I’m a special me a me who survived somethin deadly

It took courage for me to take a chance like that it took courage for me to withstand l the pain medication like I took it took courage for me to live life normally knowing my state my mentality now those cursed memories is what encourages me

[Verse 3]

Took stitches out me big day time to go and leave now I can walk cause I pushed myself to the goal cause I believe now I can be set free from my cold misery but life will dfferent now I can’t go back to how I was normally all changed not the same person from my normal me I’m different I’m accomplished and showed thrm who’s boss and I ain’t dying today yo I’m surviving hurray nah I ain’t the same person cause right now I’m a courageous woman (uh huh)

[Chorus]

It took for me courage to go out and be the me I am today it takes courage to go out and do something risky it took for me to live life normally now that I’m a special me a me who survived somethin deadly

It took courage for me to take a chance like that it took courage for me to withstand the pain like that it took courage for me to live life normally knowing my state my mentality now those cursed memories is what encourages me

[Outro]

It took courage to not yell out in pain it takes courage to go out make it through the surgery it takes courage to go out and live freely nah it took courage to go out and still be me

[screaming--agony]

Dear Diary,

"Would I do anything different on my last day?" has been on my mind a lot.

[ask-collegecrew]

What are your majors??

“We all go to the same place though. Think community but bigger and more of a clusterfuck. I’m in culinary, by the way.”

[mammonprotectionsquad]

Ayo I'm back from the dead! I would love to say that I got over my writers block but uh... Chances are high I will disappear after this again, writing wise 😅

Also, this isn't proof read. I can't be arsed rn. So... We die like Vanderwood does internally every time he has to deal with Saeyoung xD

Anyway! Here's part 3 of the rivaling agencies au with Vandy and my cmc :3

Blind trust

Vanderwood x Cmc Talia

Vanderwood hated it. He hated how he actually began checking his phone regularly, instead of simply using it when necessary. He hated to admit that he was waiting for her to message first, replies, hell even calls! After all, he wasn't even that talkative. But god, there was just something about her voice, the way there was still so much joy left in her even if they've both been through similar shit as agents, that made him stay on the line with her for hours. Mainly listening, every now and then throwing something in and she even got him to share some short stories of his own. He had no idea how, or when it happened, but that woman had easily snaked her way into his life.

Now there he was, sitting on the couch on one of his very rare days off work, with a rather annoying feeling of worry in the pit of his stomach. Eating away at him. Simply because as hour after hour passed by, there was no answer to his last text. Of course he knew that it was impossible to always answer immediately, though it was kind of concerning that her last message was sent 9 hours ago. Usually she even sent him something when on a job, no matter if it was a proper answer to what he wrote, or just simply letting him know that she was on a mission and a Dont worry, I'm still alive. Not getting rid of my annoying ass that easily.

Groaning in frustration, the brunette dropped his phone next to himself on the couch, before he rubed his hands over his face. He had to get it together... It was stupid enough that he had actually contacted her after she'd slipped her number into his pocket, that one night. Actually getting attached to her? She was still technically an enemy. Working for a dfferent agency. Not only that, but of course for one his agency always had a feud with, as far as he could remember. In some way it was kind of ironic, but also... Could he really be sure that she wasn't only doing all that to get the upper hand on him? Too many questions and no answers at all.

He got pulled out of his thoughts by sudden knocking, causing him to be on high alert in a matter of seconds as he quietly walked to the door. Though as soon as he looked through the peephole, he acted before he could've thought it through. Nearly ripping the door open as he stared at Talia, who looked rather worse for wear with a sheepish smile on her face.

"Sorry to show up out of nowhere like this, but... I didn't know where else to go."

As much as his worry grew seeing her like that, it didn't stop his heart from fluttering at her words. A foreign, nearly unsettling feeling. Though for now he pushed it down, seeing how that was not the most pressing issue in that situation.

There was no hesitation as he grabbed her hand to pull her into his apartment, closing the door behind them with his foot, while his fingertips were already skimming along her sides to assess how bad the damage was. Face in a frown whenever she flinched or tried, and failed, to suppress any pained noises.

"Vanderwood, it's not that bad, really. I've been far worse in the past and-"

"Who did this to you?", he interrupted her, nearly growling. It wasn't what he had actually wanted to ask her, or how he wanted to ask what had happened, but apparently his tongue had decided to be faster than his brain.

In order to play down his little slip up, he nudged Talia into the bathroom, where he kept his well stocked first aid kit. Simply lifting her up and setting her down on the bathroom counter before she even had the chance to complain or keep on insisting that she was fine.

"So? What happened?", he asked again, at the same time already pushing her shirt up far enough, so he was able to tend to the cuts on her sides and stomach.

"A mess is what happened... To make a long story short, I had a feeling that we have a traitor in our agency. Now guess what? We actually have two! Somehow they noticed I was on to them, so they pretty much sold me out to an enemy. Said enemy- ouch! Can't you be a bit more gentle?", she muttered when he began dabbing an alcohol doused cotton ball over her injuries. At the same time instinctively trying to lean away from him, which earned herself a roll of his eyes.

"I need to disinfect them so they won't potentially get infected. You're lucky we don't need to sew anything up."

"No shit, I know all that but it still stings like a bitch..."

"Stop whining and continue with your story."

"Jeez, so cold. Fine, now where was I?"

It was impossible not to notice how she actually relaxed a bit during their banter and the playful glint she usually had in her eyes returned as well . Meaning her injuries were probably really not that bad.

"Ah, right! Okay. I got sold out for being on to those two assholes. Then, this morning, in broad daylight, a group of burly bad men show up at my place and try to kill me. Obviously it didn't work, because come on. As if I'd let some pathetic dudes like that just end me."

Vanderwood huffed a quiet chuckle at that. Mainly because he'd experienced first hand what she was able to do and knew better than to underestimate her just because she was rather petite looking. And the smile he got in return for his reaction? It was enough to shortly distract him from his actual task.

"Idiots dead, so I quickly grabbed the most important things, threw everything in my car and drove around for a couple hours to make sure no one was following me."

Talia let out a long sigh, tilting her head back, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. He used that moment to study her features for a moment. How pale her skin appeared, aside from the bruise that had formed around one of her eyes. Not to mention how obvious it was that she was downright exhausted and in dire need of some rest.

Snapping himself back into reality, he dropped the used cotton balls into the sink for now, before he began to carefully wrap a bandage around her left arm and the lower half of her torso.

"Since they now know where I live, I couldn't just go back home. And as you might be aware of, it's not exactly possible to really make friends in our field of work."

The sudden soft touch of fingertips against his forehead, as she reached out to brush a strand of hair that had escaped his ponytail, behind his ear made his eyes snap up, causing him to stop in his tracks for a couple seconds.

"I know this might sound insane, especially since we shouldn't even trust each other for obvious reasons, but... I do anyway. In fact, I don't think I've felt this safe around anyone ever since I was a kid."

An avalanche of emotions washed over the agent, while at the same time things he'd been trying his hardest to push down began to desperately crawl their way up to the surface. Wanting to get out, spill into the open. But before that could happen, he helped her back down from the counter.

"You can stay here tonight. Bedroom is yours. Grab whatever you'd be comfortable sleeping in from my closet." On one hand it was a diverson from the former topic. Could he really be blamed? He sucked at everything that was feelings related. On the other hand the thought of seeing her in his clothes left him feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. It was strange.

"Where are you gonna sleep?"

"The couch", he simply answered with a shrug, not looking up from his task of cleaning up the sink. Which also resulted in him rather hearing than seeing how Talia padded her way into the bedroom.

"What a fucking mess...", he muttered to himself as he began to discard of the cotton pads, followed by making sure no stains would be left in the sink. Not just the aftermath of patching someone up in his bathroom, but especially the entire situation they found themselves in. Everything was a huge mess and it felt like it would only get worse and worse in the future.

One of the things he'd always tried to avoid had happened; he got attached. To an enemy no less. And yet for some strange reason it wasn't as terrifying as it probably should've been.

Once everything was spotless again, Vanderwood went to grab a bottle of water to bring it to the other agent. Honestly just an excuse to check on her again, although the silence after he knocked on the bedroom door told him that she was probably out cold. Still he slipped inside to put the bottle down on the bedside table and if he maybe made sure she was properly tugged in, no one would ever find out about it.

Now that he couldn't get caught doing so, he studied her features once more and damn... Even in her sleep she looked exhausted as all hell. But then again, it had been an eventful, long day for her.

Eventually the brunette made his way into the living room to get as comfortable as possible on the couch, even though he knew that he would most definitely not get a lot of sleep. Not because he didn't trust her, but because he was still worried. Always perking up when he heard something coming from the bedroom.

He didn't know how long he'd already been laying there when suddenly there was the quiet padding of naked feet getting closer and closer. Shortly after his blanket got lifted up and Talia slipped under it, pressing herself to his back.

Letting out a surprised noise, he turned around to face her, brows furrowed in utter confusion.

"I'm cold...", she muttered, before he even had the chance to ask what she was doing.

And as much as he knew it was stupid. As much as he knew he should've sent her back to the bedroom, not only because it got a bit cramped with both of them on the couch, he didn't. Instead he wrapped his arms around her small frame in order to make sure she wouldn't potentially fall off. Definitely not because he actually enjoyed having her all cuddled up to him, her face even buried on his neck, nuzzling into it. He only wanted to make sure she wouln't hurt herself more. He'd die on that hill.

In all honesty though... It was nice. And while he was convinced that she wasn't actually cold and only used that as a lame excuse, he really didn't mind. Would it have been more comfortable to just go to bed? Sure. But this way they had the excsue to be that close because of the small space they were sharing.

"Thanks again for letting me stay here... And patching me up. I promise I'll make it up to you", she nearly whispered, the way her lips brushed against his skin sending a shiver down his spine.

"Don't worry about it. It's fine."

"Mhm... If you say so."

A comfortable silence settled between them and without really noticing it, one of his hands moved into her hair, gently carding through it. Something that was weirdly relaxing to do and with her so close, he could finally feel himself get drowsy as well.

"Oh, by the way, Vandy?", Talia's sleepy voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "My real name is Kali..."

Vanderwood's eyes shot open at that and he stared down at her in complete and utter shock. Though it became very obvious that the woman in his arms had already fallen asleep after dropping something that big on him.

While he was still in shock, there was no denying that his heart was beating so hard it felt like it was about to jump right out of his ribcage. She trusted him enough to tell him her real name. Something they weren't ever supposed to use. He remembered the day he got a new indentity, how he got told that his old self was dead and he was never to use that name again. And now here she was, telling him something like that out of absolutely nowhere.

Maybe that was also the moment where he decided that he would do everything in his power to keep her safe. It was risky, sure. But so was their entire... whatever it was they had. Besides he was convinced that he had actually done worse things before. Like agreeing to babysit the little hacker brat.

Of course he was well aware that she was more than just able to look after herself, yet she seemed to vulnerable in that moment. It made him pritect her from the world, something he absolutely was not used to. Still it wasn't an unpleasant feeling at all.

"Sleep well... Kali."

After pressing a lingering kiss to her forhead, he pulled her a little closer into his chest. The warmth radiating from her body and her even breathing slowly but surely lulling him to sleep as well.

Vanderwood x Cmc Talia Masterlist

If you'd like to get added to the tag list, please let me know 💕

@hell-temptations @just-a-key @amborii @cass-who @otomaticallyobsessed @mixed-bag-of-tricks @celesti4 @violetrei @kumaronoa

[sun-stormz]

Ok, so, after watching the part where Techno & Tommy run into Dream I get why People are worried about Techno betraying, And based on his tone of voice it can be seen two ways

1.) Hes testing dream, he knows Dream will not use it due to it being leverage. It indeed did sound very cocky and Testy and ive been in enough DnD Roleplay situations to recognize that Cockyness from 3 miles away.

2.) Its a threat, now i know that sounds weird but it just sounded like a threat, puting dream in a headlock of words. Cause if dream really wanted tommy gone he would have taken it, but he didnt. If it was due to him really having a dfferent use for it or if his Powerhungery ego didnt let him use it is up for debate.

Either way, the tone Techno had, it was way to cocky to be a simple ‘cash it in and ill give him to you’. Dreams reaction to Techno defending Tommy was something. It seemed a bit shocked and takenaback. He was rather quiet, came across like he was looking for words. 

Dream cant Intimidate Techno like he can everyone else, and now he cant really intimidate Tommy either.

Now, People are saying Techno is manipulating Tommy into hating Tubbo, but keep in mind, with Technos Standards when it comes to Friendships, tubbo is a horrible friend always standing by and then even exileng him. Techno doesnt know wht we as viewers know, he knows what he sees and what tommy has said.

Now, do i think Techno will betray tommy? No, cause it wont count as a betrayal. Techno has been rather upfront about how they are biussness partners, Yes i do think he is sofening up to tommy due to their shared trauma of betrayal, but When the time comes where Techno and tommy go against L’manburg i do think Tommy will betray Techno first by trying to protect tubbo, cause at the end of the day, he does still care about him, under all the grudges. I think that Tommy will get his disks or they will be destroyed but the conflict wont go away like he thinnks it will. it will remain beacuse the sorce is Dream being Powerhungry.

He will not help Techno Kill tuboo and destroy more of L’manburg and that will make Techno fell betrayed, again and probably loose it depending on where Philza is in all of this.

Keep in mind i have missed a good amount of Technos streams latley so this post might just be caned after watching those.

I think Dream will realize he needs better leverage over Techno, that Leverage being Philza, cause Tommy may be chaotic and such but at the end of the day Dream can easiely get rid of him, Techno protecting tommy? thats where problems start again. So what dream is most likley Planning: Get Techno out of the way and the Tommy is easy game.

Also i know everyone loves the SBi dynamics but i dont think that them being Family (i do think they are considering Techno is the only one that wont go by it and that sounds very in character for him) will keep them all together.

[astaerion]

If you don't feel love ke talking about it, feel free to ignore this message! I was wondering what sort of media you consume since you shared this post about there being no free press in Hungary. Do you have to use encryption to access foreign media or is it the language barrier that keeps other people from it? And what do you or Hungarian activists wish people in Western Europe did? A lot of our German media says EU should stop giving money to Hungary but, as with Russian sanctions, that would probably hit the population worse than Orban, so I don't know if that really is the way to go.

Like I said, feel free to ignore this, I'm just curious as I don't know anyone from Hungary

!

sorry this took over a day to answer, i had to gather my thoughts! i'll try to be as comprehensive as possible but all i have to go on are my own experiences and observations so take everything with a grain of salt! i'm gonna put this under a read-more because it got rather long. thank you for asking i really believe that foreigners should be aware of what's going on here <3

i try to consume media from different sides of the aisle since there are thankfully still some sources that are not government-owned. we don't have to use encription to access news, neither Hungarian nor foreign sites (yet). i think the language barrier comes up as an issue when trying to learn about foreign issues. there's not much coverage (especially not non-goverment-friendly) about foreign politics. i'm in a privileged position because i can easily access news in English but most Hungarians don't speak English. This wouldn't be a problem if there was fair coverage but there isn't really. the added problem is that fidesz's core voters are older people who generally don't speak English and so can only rely on what they hear on tv and read on facebook.

that brings me to another big issue: facebook. it's very popular here, most people don't use twitter or instagram, but nearly everyone's on facebook. we all know how much misinformation there is on there... i don't follow government-friendly pages on there and try to interact with them as little as possible and the majority of news articles i get recommended are still coming from fidesz-friendly sources.

beyond the internet, there are tv stations that broadcast misinformation. we have a big government-owned media group, which has a dedicated news channel (m1) which is blatantly pro-fidesz and says anything and everything they want them to say. there's another tv station that's not owned by fidesz as far as i know but they are sympathetic to the government. they have a morning talkshow that i unfortunately have to endure almost every day and they only parrot government propaganda. they also only invite government officials and make zero effort to feature any other opinions. from my experience a lot of Hungarians get their information from these channels with no critical thinking applied as to whether everything they say is true. the channels use this to their advantage too: they often say things that are provably false. then, when some organization calls them out on it and it’s ruled that they have to issue a correction they just do it at a time when not a lot of people are watching. this way most viewers will be none the wiser that what they heard wasn’t true at all.

lastly, i think it's important to mention that fidesz's politics have been becoming increasingly combative. they view everyone and everything with a dfferent opinion than theirs as The Enemy. Brussels, Soros György, The Left, The West: these are all frequently mentioned as being against Hungarian interests. orbán and fidesz try to paint themselves as the sole protectors of Hungary and Hungarian interest against the evil forces mentioned above and unfortunately a lot of people buy this narrative. they never really articulate what they are protecting us from, all they ever say is that Hungary's first priority is protecting Hungarian interests in the face of the evil [blank]. this is the excuse they use to alienate the country from the EU (which they often refer to as Brussels), from the West, and from any kind of progressive path. so, they are basically building a nation state and trying to spread the narrative that we can and should stand on our own agains everyone.

as to what Western Europeans can do i have no idea. i think you should be aware of what i said above and know that a lot of Hungarians don't agree with fidesz and orbán AT ALL and we hate them as much as you do. if the EU took money away from Hungary it would definitely hit the people worse than orbán and it would serve to strengthen the narrative that fidesz is trying to push, that the EU wants to control us and is against the Hungarian people. with that being said i wouldn't be surprised if it came to that relatively soon because what other tools does the EU really have?

sorry this got long but there's a lot going on right now... (and i didn't even get into their disgusting re-election campaign, the homophobic census we just had, how pro-russia they are or the horrible way teachers are treated by them) if you want to know more feel free to ask me, my dms are also open :)

[maddyanarchist]

YOU ARE NOTHING, SO WHAT ARE YOU FEARED OF?

Welcome to the weekly series where I share some of my insights on the books I have read , on the films I have watched & the podcasts I have heard. This week ‘s topic is about a book , ‘ JONATHAN LIVINGSTON SEAGULL’ by RICHARD BARCH.  It’s a short tale, but is one of the most thought provoking & insightful tale that enriches  you to keep you hooked till the end & shares the most important lessons of live.

 It narrates the tale of a young seagull named ‘ JONATHAN’ who is very eager to learn flying. Unlike the community he belongs to & the friends that surround him , he is somewhat different & unique. What makes him different is nothing , but his way of innocent approach to life. While the purpose of the society space that he shares, believes that their only moto is to make sure they get their food on time, to keep themselves sustainable to the end so that nobody dies of hunger. Hence all day they are focused on he only task of gathering the food. But , Jonathan who also belongs to the same community finds no joy & thrill in just living for maintainence of their lives. His approach to life is different in the sense he wants to grow, to learn , to fly not just within the limits, but expanding that horizon which makes him call seagull.

This approach towards life is not somewhat supported by his family & the social space he inhabits. But this doesn’t deter him from his path. He tries  to self- taught himself by his experience & the limited knowledge he has about flying. He experiments more & more, he does falter most of the time , but that doesn’t stop him in his pursuit of the freedom he desires for. At one instance after a lot of experiments he did make it above the optimum length that a seagull can fly, but he was inexperience about the landing speed & time. That made him crash to the ground & this shook him a little. He felt lost, & he gave up the hope of learning beyond boundaries. He convinced himself that maybe he should also behave the same way , he is supposed to, may be he is also that ordinary bird who cannot cross limits , but there was somewhat a glitch even after being able to convince himself. The next day, he behaves the same way seagulls did , all chasing for the food , but he felt bitter at the entire thought of striving to live life just for food. Even after his attempt to convince himself , he was not at all convinced. He didn’t give up the hope & started practising with greater agillity & determination. He understood the mechanics of flying  at dfferent levels , when to ease & when to strike , when to fold & when to unfold all by himself. He again tried the another night to see if what he has learned is good enough to make him fly above boundaries. 

Unlike the other time, this time he achieved , but he was also caught by one of the senior members of the community in doing so , hence he was senentenced as outcast for he has broken the rules & regulations of being a seagull. He wanted that one chance to explain to his fellowmates that what he has discovered, but the conventions seemed so rigid that the higher order didn’t even listen to what he said. He as labeled as an outcast , hence no longer can stay with his community. He has to leave everything for he has polluted the tradition that has been withold over the years.

Now, Jonathan all left on his own , flew high up in the sky in search odf another destination to where he could say his ‘ HOME’. Having objectified as an outcast didn’t matter to him , but his inability to share his knowledge that even seagulls can break boundaries if they want to remained unfetched. He was living with the sense of liberation he wanted , his purpose was somewhat lost. But the stars had something else for him. He was approached by two birds from another community who wanted to learn the mechanics of flying. Jonathan felt overjoyed for this is what he always wanted to share. After , having given the knowledge he was approached by the senior member of the group who wanted ‘JONATHAN ‘ to take his place , for he has done his job & now he needed somebody else to replace him. This was what he was examined  for all the days , when he taught to the other two birds. With this new sense of community feeling , JONATHAN soon became the instructor of the group & found both ‘ HOME ‘ & ‘ PURPOSE’ back in his life. 

One of his students was FLETCHER SEAGULL who had the same level of charm & determination as JONATHAN had when he was his age. He also possessed the same level of curiosity & the urge for flying that was needed of a student to learn. He faltered several times , but this was JONATHAN core principles. ACCORDING to JONATHAN , they were nothing but a resemblance of their own thoughts. So , if they took themselves to be of no worth , then they cannot achieve anything. EVERYTHING JUST RESTS WITHIN THE LIMITATIONS OF THE MINDSET ONE POSSESS. if one doesn’t believe in boundaries beyond limitations one cannot achieve any success or happiness in life. To him, TECHNIQUE is he by-product of that mindset that one excels by one’s practice over time. Young Fletcher, believed in every word that has been delivered by his instructor & started his process of learning with more focus & determination. 

At one instance FLETCHER  flew in one of the lanes of the same community that originally belonged to Jonathan . Observing him , some new seagulls joined his way to learn what he had learnt. They were approached the same by Jonathan who preached them the mechanics of flying. Though they were feared of the consequences they might face once they were caught , but something persuaded them to continue on their learning. Little by little , many started to follow the same path  & stopped fearing of what what would happen next. Many were counted as OUTCAST ,but this did not deter anyone  for liberation was much more important than just scavenging for food , which they can now have more for they were more independent.

Jonathan one act of  violation led to the revolution that he never expected , but that did happen with time. Later on , as he aged he passed over his responsibilty to FLETCHER as the new instructor , the way he was given the same. He retired for his purpose was fulfilled.

This particular story have two key ideas:

 1.  SEE BEYOND ONE’S HORIZON  for there is always left  something tht you have never conquered. Something that will make you feel not ‘ good enough’. Something that will fuel you everyday so that you reach what you are destined for. And for that something to happens , what one need to do is to take’ ACTION’ , be it slow or small with time it will gradually create the change that you want to.

2. RESIGN THE TIME COMES: Most of us , even after achieving everything holds on to whatever has been accumlated. That’s where purpose becomes more of a bondage for one has overwhelmed themselves with all the baggage they have conquered. One should rememver , that ‘ONE CANNOT REMAIN THE KING OR THE QUEEN ‘ for all their lives. Someday , someone has to replace them for they are mortal bodies. It is not on the outside that matters , but rather the inside. Outside one may be the king , but it is his actions that made him what he is . His life is fulfilled by the purpose that should be bigger than his life. One should remembered that we are just the matter through which light can pass , & that the light itself makes its way . for it is invincible. We do , because we are given that responsiblity , not because we can be emperors of the same. We are here to serve & that is what matters. We all want this freedom , but we also need to know it has a price that is nothing but responsibility.

One last idea , I want to share there is actually no contextual difference between a seagull & a human being . We all are products of the supreme creator. We may look different ,eat different , do different but our sole purpose is same , LIBERATION !!!

[vgriffindor]

Elcaminode’s awesome, bookish questions:

Is there a book that you reach for on a regular basis?

Yes! But I can’t narrow it down to just one. I had to steel myself, here, and remind myself that it’s books that I reach for on a regular basis, which is dfferent from books that I’ve read more than once and love! 

Anyways, my friends calls them “comfort books.” The books that I will re-read (in their entirety and also just pick up and flip through and stop at random chapters/scenes/paragraphs): Jane Eyre, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, A Tale of Two Cities, and The Night Circus. When I’m sick, when I’m sad, when I’m bored, when I can’t sleep, whenever.

2. If you had to only read ONE book over and over for the rest of your life what would it be?

Ack! This is tough, because I technically could pick a book I haven’t read yet, so at least the first time I read it would be new! And possibly the best book I’ve ever read! But then what if I hated it? Better to go with an old favourite, (one of the above) so I’ll go with Jane Eyre. Sure, the story is top-notch, but I find it lights an inspiring fire, so it’s a bit of a life manifesto, as well. 

3. Have you memorised a poem/quote/speech? If so, spill!

Okay, so apart from random lines from poems all over the place, which isn’t very impressive, I can remember In Flanders Fields (every Remembrance Day as a kid!) and Rudyard Kipling’s “If.” I had to learn it for a speech recital in grade five, and unlike everything else I learned that year, I remember that poem. 😆 Oh, wait! Also, “There are strange things done/in the midnight sun/by the men who moil for gold.” The Cremation of Sam McGee. Ha!

4. What book from your childhood destroyed you emotionally?

Little Women. I love that book. Ooooh, that’s another “comfort book!” I read it first when I was eleven, and sure, (spoiler alert!) Beth’s death hit me so hard I cried, but the real devastation was when Jo rejected Laurie. I was mad. Lol. It was such a great lesson, though. In knowing your own heart, in knowing you don’t need a relationship, (unlike so many other books) and also, in knowing that a neat and happy ending for the couple that you “ship” isn’t necessarily the best way to tell their story. That whole message was just so powerful, and daring, on in so many ways. 

Also, The Velveteen Rabbit. God. I can’t even.

Edited to add The Trumpet of the Swan, because of course, and Miss Rumphius, which I still can’t read without crying. If you’ve never read it, do yourself a favour and read it. It’s gorgeous.

5. Would you rather only read tiny poems OR 400+ page books for the rest of your life?

400+ page books. Hands down, no contest. 

Kay, I’m going to ADD question six! Meow-how-how!

6. What’s a favourite book of yours that you’d like to see turned into a really well-done movie/TV series?

The Night Circus. And A Tale of Two Cities, and let’s cast Tom as Sydney Carton.

RANDOM BONUS QUESTION: what’s one thing that you taught yourself? Guitar? Hockey? Mechanical engineering?

I’ve been super lucky and privileged - all the stuff I’ve wanted to learn (and not wanted to, lol!) I’ve taken a class/had a teacher. I guess I can say reading? I picked it up, osmosis-style from my parents reading out loud to me. Or I guess that counts as them teaching me? Oh, no, I know - snowboarding. I skiied my whole childhood but was in a car accident in my teens that left me with a shattered kneecap and bad knee, once it healed. So skiing was out, and I missed it with very bad-tempered grace, until a friend told me I should try boarding because it’s easier on the knees. So I went with friends and threw myself down the bunny hill all day long until I could make it down without falling. Which took longer than I optimistically thought! :D

Okay, @elcaminode - I’m turning this back on you and you have to answer them all! :D Plus, @highfunctioningflailgirl who has already been tagged, PLUS @bluerobinwrites, @lulacat3, @hobbeshalftail3469. And anyone else who wants! (If you want! No obligation, obvs.)