#at least then i'd have one burden lifted off of me

[navramanan]

I lower my expectations for friendships with every repeated experience for the sake of not losing the few people i have in my life, i dont know how much lower i can get before i lose my dignity

[fake-bleach]

fallen star | darkish!ezra x reader

summary: You're lost, alone, and looking for your family in the middle of a planet you know absolutely nothing about. That's until you encounter a man who offers to help you, giving you more than you bargained for.

word count: 9k (crazy i know oops)

warnings: (18+ only!) fem!afab!reader (no use of y/n), bit of a slow burn but not rly, dub-con smut (ezra convinces reader to give in), kinda manipulative/creepy ezra, unprotected sex, virgin!reader & is innocent as hell so.. innocence kink?, age gap (but reader is of legal age & an adult ofc), piv (pls use protection), fingering, foreplay, nipple play, crying from pleasure, slight spit kink, size kink, breeding kink, praise, degrading, dirty talk, all that good, filthy shit - lmk if i missed anything!

author's note: hi all! this is the first official writing i've ever done so please feel free to give me any suggestions, notes, etc! i've been so inspired by the incredible writers on this app, such as @mypoisonedvine & @toxicanonymity's fics & wanted to give it a try for myself! i'd appreciate it so much if you could let me know if you'd like more from me as well! hope you all enjoy <3

ao3 link | masterlist

The heat and humidity sticks to your skin while you run, desperation seething through your teeth as you take a deep breath. You inhale sharply as you finally take a break to sit on the ground. The bright, green scenery around you consumes you as you look around frantically, having seen the same trees and leaves over and over again. You're practically running in circles at this point.

You're stuck, and quite frankly, losing hope.

You've lost your family amidst this strange, new planet, as your father convinced you and the rest of your family that there would be hope to discover new materials and minerals that you'd be able to sell. You all would be rich and finally 'comfortable', not having to live off of the things you'd be feeding off on day by day, as your father said..

What a load of shit.

You're unsure of where exactly your family had gone, as you woke up two mornings ago to an empty tent; the "home" that provided you no privacy for the past few weeks, whatsoever. Since then, you've been on the search for them. They're all you've ever known, and despite the immense pressure and burden you've had on your shoulders for being the eldest sibling, you needed them.

You've never been out in the real world on your own. At least, not without your father to help guide you and provide reassurance in what you were taught to do.. what you had to do. You were completely dumbfounded and unsure of what you'd do next in this planet you hardly knew of, and to your knowledge, barely had any population.

The solitude you've experienced the past 48 hours has been torturous to say the least, and the scraps of food you were luckily able to find were running low already. You were getting tired already. How could you survive if you could barely last a day?

As you catch your breath, you begin to stand back up, prepared to continue on your journey and in hopes of finding more food and water. To your advantage and luck, this planet was breathable, giving you one less problem to worry about. As you lift yourself up back on your feet, you hear the crunch of a branch around you.

You quickly turn your head towards the sound as your breath hitches, your heart racing a bit faster. Your mind wanders to the worst case scenario, unsure of what might be out there. You weren't even sure if there were any creatures or other dangerous species out here.

The one thing you did know was that there were dangerous people out there. There was that constant reminder in the back of your mind, engrained from the repeated lectures that your dad gave you as you grew up.

"Sure, there are monsters out there, honey.. but it's the humans that'll get ya for good. They're the real monsters."

With his words roaming around in your head, you slowly take a step back as you continue to frantically look around, seeing nothing but the same leaves, trees, and branches filled in your eyes. You lick your lips nervously, clearing your throat to prepare yourself to sound tougher than you look.

"Who's there?" You yell out harshly, showing that you're no one to mess with. But to the unknown force watching you, it's not convincing one bit.

Silence fills your ears as nothing responds to you. No voice, no steps.. not a single sound. You take a long pause before you start to open your mouth again, until you see something out the corner of your eye move closer, yet subtly towards you.

Quickly whipping your head around to look towards that direction, you gasp faintly as you see a man approach you slowly. His hands are up, almost in a surrender. "Hey, hey, now.. no need to be afraid.." he says softly to you. The accent that his voice lets out consumes your ears as you take a step back, your eyes looking over him, taking in his presence. He's the first person you've seen in the past 48 hours and you're shocked, and more notably, afraid.

"Step back.. Stay away." You let out sternly, grabbing your small switchblade from your pocket to aim it towards him, trying to prevent him from getting any closer.

He was a tall man with messy, black hair, and a patch of white leaking towards the front. He seemed exhausted, looking at you with hazy eyes and on the brink of passing out. "P-Please, girl.. just need some help, I swear," He says as he licks his dry lips, breathing in harshly, "Been out on my own for a couple of days now.. and I'd assume.. you've been on your own, too."

You scoff as you shake your head quickly, denying the fact of the matter, "N-No, sir, you'd be wrong. I'm just getting back to my family, that's all. I can't.. I can't help you." You tell him as you glance around, a small brink of hope in your chest telling you that your family would be right there. But, you knew deep down, that would never be the case.

You look back at the man in front of you as his hand reaches towards yours, gesturing you to put the switchblade down, "Come on now, no need to do that. We can stick together, huh? I can help you get back to your family, you can help me get some food and supplies.. How's that sound? Keep each other some company, yeah? Then I'll be out of your way.." He tells you with a soft chuckle, a small grin forming on his lips in hopes of you to agree.

You back up a bit more before feeling your back hit a tree, making you sigh harshly as you lick your lips, thinking of what you should do. Your mind races as you think of all the possibilities that can come out of this. If this man was genuine and just needed some company and a bit of help.. he might be able to help you get back to your family.

As long as you kept your distance from him, you'd be okay.. and you would be able to finally find them. You wouldn't have to worry about being on your own anymore.

You look at him with stern eyes as you begin to reply, the grip of your hand on the switchblade tightening, "I don't even know you. You're a stranger. What makes you think I could trust you?" Your voice is a bit shaky as you speak, unsure on what decision you should make.

"That's right, birdie.. I'm a stranger, I know, but I guarantee you that I'm only tryin' to help you. You help me out too, and we'd be doing each other a favor. Killing two birds with one stone, if you will.." He proposes to you, his voice a bit gentle and soft as he tries to persuade you into joining him, giving you a small smile. "You just.. gotta put a bit of faith in me, that's all. I'm sure a pretty girl like you's got a nice heart, hm? We can help each other."

He nods at you as he finishes, taking a step towards you with his hand reaching closer to your switchblade. You breathe out faintly as you nod back at him, slowly bringing your hand back down to the side of your body. You flip the switchblade back and insert it into your pocket, your eyes never leaving his.

You bite your lip nervously as your heart begins to relax a bit, relenting, "I.. Okay, let's say I say yes.. What's in it for me? What makes you reliable in helping me? You said you needed my help too.. what would I be doing for you?"

The shakiness in your voice is evident as he stares at you intently, his eyes focused on you. He chuckles softly, explaining himself to you, "Well, birdie, I know this entire planet like the back of my hand. At least this entire area, that's for sure. More importantly, I know where we can stay for the night. I can give you some food.. a nice, warm place to sleep in.." He lets on, his grin widening as he notices your eyes soften at his words.

He can tell that you're exhausted, the hunger in your stomach increasing as every second passes. He knows what you need.

"Seems to me like you want that, don't you, honey? I can give you that.." He continues as he smiles at you. He seems genuine, even if you can't sense the obscure tone in it. "Just asking for your company, that's all.. that's all I want from you."

You breathe out through your nose, taking in the words he was saying. You're conflicted as your mind races with your fathers' words flooding through your head. But, you know you won't make it out here alone, especially not through another night of wandering on your own without any food or water.

Desperation is getting the best of you.

You gulp and reluctantly nod your head at him, ultimately agreeing to his offer. "Alright, fine, but we're keeping to ourselves, okay? There's no need for us to.. get to know each other or anything like that. You're helping me get back to my family, I'm giving you the 'company' you want: That's it." You establish the ground rules, letting him know that you want nothing else from him.

The man slightly shakes his head at you, poking his tongue against his cheek for a second. He laughs softly and nods, saying, "Alright, birdie. You got yourself a deal. But the least you could do is tell me your name, right? Here, I'll go first.. I'm Ezra."

Putting a name to the face, your eyes soften a bit as you stare at him. Ezra. You acknowledge it and nod your head, taking a pause before telling him your own name.

His mouth forms a bright smile, presenting his nice teeth to you, repeating your name on his tongue. "Lovely to meet you, sweetheart. Now, let me lead the way. Shouldn't take too long." He tells you enthusiastically, looking over at you while he proceeds his way east.

The sun's down by the time you reach the destination that Ezra's led you to. By the time you get there, your mind is hazy, the exhaustion and hunger getting to you with each step you take. Your eyes widen as they lay on the site in front of you; a decent sized tent that seemed much more impressive than the "home" you had with your family for the past few weeks.

Ezra's voice fills your ears, breaking the silence around you outside as he approaches the front of the tent, looking over at you with a grin. "Here we are, honey. Home sweet home." He tells you, licking his lips as he makes his way into it, beckoning you to follow him.

And you do. You follow behind him eagerly, impatiently expecting everything he's promised you: food and a nice, warm place to sleep in. Once you enter the tent, he turns on a lamp that fills the space with light. You're immediately looking around, taking in and cherishing the fact that you're actually somewhere that's remotely cozy and comfortable, just how a home should be.

"Do you like it?" He asks you softly, making his way behind you as you look around with curious eyes. You nod your head, giving him a small smile despite your inability to trust him too much. "It's.. really nice. Thanks, Ezra." You tell him, licking your lips as you pull your eyes away from him to set your bag of things in one of the corners.

The tent has almost everything you'd need in a basic home and it's impressive, to say the least. A small table for you to sit and eat at, a tiny kitchen area, and a decent sized bed that fit perfectly in the corner of it.

You turn your head back towards him, his eyes already wandering over you in curiosity. You ask him eagerly, yet collected, "So.. I was promised food? Can I get that now.. please?" You're trying not to have an attitude, seemingly as this man was kind enough to take you in, but you're starving.

Ezra smiles at you and nods, waving his hand towards his direction to gesture you to come over to him. While he walks towards a decently sized bin, he speaks to you, saying, "Don't got too much here, but it should be more than enough for the both of us the next few days. We'll go out looking for more soon."

You nod and follow him, eagerly looking over his shoulder as he kneels down to open up the bin. It's filled with packs of little food that are meant to get you through a tough journey or for you to get by, but it's definitely not anything special. By all means, food is food and you were more than happy to get what you could.

"Thank you, Ezra, I appreciate it," You say to him kindly as he grabs two bags for you, looking up at you while he places them in your eager hands. He nods at you and gives you that kind smile again, making you grin back at him.

As he grabs his own bags, he closes the bin and stands back up, motioning you to sit with him at the table.

When the two of you sit, you immediately open up the bags and nearly devour your food, your stomach growling in the process of your meal.

You hear a small chuckle as you eat and you look back up at him, mouth full of food. "Slow down, sweetheart. It's not goin' anywhere, don't you worry," He tells you, all while he calmly takes bites of his food, clearly cherishing it more than you are. "The faster you eat, the less you'll enjoy it, you know? Better to eat slow so it fills you up real good." He finishes.

You sigh as you nod at him, agreeing and taking in his advice. You hadn't realized that maybe you should be cherishing what you're getting right now, rather than indulging yourself in it so quickly.

Looking down at your hands, you sigh, apologizing to him. "Sorry.. I've just been so hungry. Thank you.. again. I really am grateful." You finish with a small smile at him, continuing to slowly eat your food and taking in the flavors that were satisfying your palette.

The both of you ate in silence, simply enjoying each other's company. As much as you hated to admit it, you liked knowing that you had someone with you, regardless of who it was. And from the few hours you've spent with Ezra, he seemed like the right person to be with.

As the two of you finish eating, you're satisfied, and definitely a lot more happier than you were before. You were just ready to end the day and get a good night's rest, exhausted from the relentless journey you were on.

You yawn softly as you shut your eyes, bringing your hand to your mouth to cover it up. Ezra looks at you attentively, his eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips once you remove your hand. You didn't notice that, though.

He then chuckles at you and shakes his head, smiling widely, "Ready to go to sleep now, birdie? You can have the bed tonight." He tells you, the kindness in his voice seeping through.

You look at him with soft eyes, eyebrows furrowing, "No, no, it's okay, I can sleep on the floor. You're the one who got this place and took me here.. you deserve the bed." You tell him earnestly, unable to accept his offer. Sure, it's just a bed, but he deserved to sleep well tonight too.

Ezra just shakes his head at you and laughs faintly, "No, you take the bed. I take the floor. Don't you worry, we'll have time to make it work.." He lets out, chuckling.

You aren't too sure what he means by that.

You ignore it though, just giving him a small smile instead. He was just being kind, and you were grateful for it.

Nodding your head, you reluctantly give in and sigh out, "Okay, just tonight though, alright? I'll be out of your hair eventually, anyway." He just grins at you as he takes in your words, his eyes never leaving your face.

"Right.. it's just a couple of days." He murmurs out, glancing around the room, pursing his lips. He looks back to you and nods, getting up from his seat as he gives you a grin, "Alright, time for bed, darlin'. You need some privacy?" He asks.

Getting up from your seat as well, you nod your head, slowly moving towards your bag. "Yeah, that'd be great, thanks Ezra. I'll let you know when I'm done." You tell him.

He acknowledges your request and walks out the tent, zipping it up securely. You take your spare clothes out of your bag, beginning to change into the comfortable pajamas; the only ones you had left.

You don't feel the eyes on you, staring at your every move.

Getting ready to go to sleep, Ezra's changed into some comfortable clothes as well. He sets up a small area for him to sleep in, right next to the bed that you'll be taking. As he does so, you sit on the bed, staring at his movements.

Still feeling a bit guilty about the bed, you tell him, "Are.. are you sure you're okay sleeping down there? What if you get cold.. or something?" You ask him, gradually starting to care for him more than you hoped or expected to.

He glances up at you, sitting up on his knees as he lets go of the sleeping bag, shaking his head. "Honey, stop asking. This isn't the first time I've slept on the floor, and besides.. it's much more comfortable than you'd think," He replies to you, grinning at your concerns for him, "Don't you worry about me, alright?"

You sigh and nod your head at him, giving into his request to let it go.

"Alright.. goodnight then, Ezra. Thank you, again." You let out tiredly, giving him a final smile. You moved yourself towards the edge of the bed that was facing the wall of the tent, preferring to sleep where you weren't so exposed to any open part of the bed.

"Goodnight, sweetheart." Ezra says, turning off the lamp in the tent before he gives you a final glance.

You turn to your side to shut your eyes, putting your hands underneath the side of your head as extra support from the pillow. You were comfortable, more comfortable than you've been in the past month.

You hear shuffling down on the floor, Ezra moving around in his sleeping bag as he tries to get comfortable enough to be able to doze off.

A couple of minutes go by as you attempt to fall asleep, failing everytime while your body shivers. You had a blanket over you, but it wasn't enough. There seemed to be a constant drift of wind from the outside coming inside the tent, making the heat in your body gradually fade away.

You sighed frustratingly as you softly whispered to Ezra, hoping he was still awake. "Ezra.. is the tent open?" You asked him, wondering if he forgot to close it all the way.

You hear his rough voice, whispering back to you, "No, honey, it's closed.. You cold?" He asks back, leaning up on his arm to look at you.

Turning your head and body towards him, you nod your head and sigh, "Yeah.. sorry, I can't sleep like this.." You let out, annoyed at yourself. You've already asked for so much from him and you were sure he just wanted to sleep already.

He grins at you and begins to get up slowly, saying, "Don't apologize, birdie.. It's hard to sleep when it's so cold," He breathes out, the silence in the room deafening you besides his course voice, "Why don't I come up there? Keep you warm for the night.. I promise it'll help you fall asleep."

You swallow as you think of it, unsure if you should let him be so close to you that way, so quick into your acquaintance. You were so cold though, as your fatigue ran through your body and all you wanted to do was sleep.

So, you agreed. What else was there to lose?

"Okay.. just for tonight." You murmur out, gesturing for him to come on the bed as he nods at you. You lay back down on your side, facing the wall of the tent as you move the blanket so he can have some too.

You feel him get on the bed, the weight and smell of him consuming you just from being right next to you. His hands move the blanket up to lay it on top of himself, sighing contently as he feels the warmth of the both of you surround his cold body in just a few seconds.

A couple of minutes later, as you're gradually starting to doze off, you feel arms wrap around your body, their strong hold pulling you by your waist. Ezra's chest presses into your back, his crotch just below your rear as you gasp softly, the intrusion of physical contact suddenly waking you up and energizing you.

You turn your head slightly to try to look at him, but before you open your mouth to say anything, he cuts you off. "Shh, honey.. just to make you feel a bit warmer. There's no harm in that. Physical contact creates warmth.. you know that, right?" He mumbles to you, just enough to be coherent as you furrow your eyebrows, conflicted by this.

You had just met the man and he was already holding you this close.

You sigh out and breathe softly, saying, "Okay.. I guess you're right," continuing to let him hold you. It starts to feel kind of nice, the warmth in your body increasing as you're both huddled so close together.

As you start to relax again, you press the side of your head to the pillow, allowing yourself to shut your eyes gently and let the sleep take over you.

Your peace is quickly taken away though, as you feel Ezra's hand on top of your hip begin to caress your stomach, slowly moving it lower to the hem of your pajama shirt as he slips his hand underneath it. His hand begins running across your stomach, feeling you.

Gasping softly, you turn your head to look at him again, asking sharply, "What are you doing, Ezra?"

He just hums and continues, his eyes shut. "Shh, sweetheart, c'mon.. Just gonna make you feel better, alright?" He whispers out, his other hand gripping your body tighter against him as the hand on your stomach lowers itself to your pajama pants, starting to slip it underneath the fabric.

You squirm against him as you groan out harshly, "S-Stop, Ezra, stop!" You protest against him, unsure of what to do. Your eyes move around the room frantically as his arms overpower you, holding you still against his chest.

Ezra's eyes open as you squirm against him, making him laugh out faintly at your struggle. His fingers start to roam across your panties, letting them run over your core. His head moves closer to your ear, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispers, "Be quiet, honey.. just let me do this, let me make you feel good. It'll keep you warm.."

His hand slips underneath your underwear, quickly cupping your pussy with his entire hand, making him groan out as you whimper, gasping out, "Ezra, please, stop!"

He ignores your pleas, moaning into your ear as his fingers run across your lips, feeling you grow wetter by the second. "Fuck, birdie.. You feel that? You're wet for me.. you're liking this, aren't you, darlin'? It'll feel good, just trust me.." He sighs into your ear, moving his lips to your neck to kiss it softly.

You continue to shake and squirm against him, trying to kick him off of you, but it's no use. He moves his leg over your own, entrapping you against him as you feel his crotch press into your hips and waist. The hard bulge in his soft pants makes you throb, forcing a moan out of you, both from a mixture of fear and unwanted excitement.

"Don't fight me, baby. Don't fight this. It'd be much better for you if you just gave in.. it'll feel so good, sweetheart, please, let me.." He pleas into your ear, pressing two of his fingers on your cunt to find your clit.

Rubbing small circles around your lips, he hears for your moan, indicating that he's found it. He smirks widely as he continues to rub small circles on your clit, feeling you grow wetter by the second as the pressure of his movements persist.

You whine out as your body grows a bit weak, feeling the pleasure build up in your body. Your heart races as you gulp, shutting your eyes tightly. You've never had anyone in your life do this to you before.

Ezra laughs faintly as he continues his motions, "That's it, sweetheart.." He draws out, "Give in, fuck, I know you want to. Anyone ever touch you like this, baby?" He inquires, moving the hand underneath the side of your body you were laying on. He grips your stomach, right below your breasts, and moves his body to lay on his back, taking you with him. Your back lays just against Ezra's side, his left arm wrapped tightly around you, moaning out as he has more control of you like this. He kicks the thin blanket off of the both of you, giving him a view of his hand down your pants and underwear, the moonlight shining through the tent.

You whine out, shaking your head quickly as you feel the warmth grow in your stomach the more he rubs those circles on your clit. "N-No, never, no one's ever touched me like this.." You moan, gasping and panting a bit heavily as you stare down at his fingers moving furiously against you. You can't help but grow wetter at the sight, knowing that it's him who's doing this to you.. but it feels so wrong.

"What I thought, baby.. Knew this pussy was pure." He chuckles, his teasing and almost mean demeanor running through your body, making you shiver and whimper slightly. You don’t know why you like it.

He stops his movements as he slips a finger through your folds, gathering how wet you became, making him sigh out in satisfaction. He pulls his finger out to look at it, showing it to you as well. "Look at that, honey, you're so wet for me now.. Didn't I tell you how good it'd feel, huh?" He lets out as you look at the glistening finger in front of you.

He moves it to suck it into his mouth, moaning around it. Popping it out from his lips, he laughs wryly, "Tastes good too, baby," making you blush furiously. It's so dirty and makes you feel so fucked up.

He takes no time to waste and moves towards your bottoms, quickly grabbing the hem of both your pants and underwear, "Let's get these off now, honey. Wouldn't want them in the way of our fun," and pulls them quickly off of you, making the cold air hit your core.

You gasp loudly as you clench your legs together, not wanting to have him see you there, much less continue.

He looks up at you with dark eyes and places his hands on the top of your knees, warning you, "Don't you get shy on me now, sweetheart. We've already gotten this far. I don't want to make it hurt for you.. I want to make you feel good, baby.." He tells you, his voice gradually becoming softer as he finishes. His hands proceed to grip at your knees, pushing them away from each other to spread your legs for him.

You reluctantly follow his requests, knowing that it would go a lot smoother if you complied. He groans faintly as his eyes latch onto the sight of your wet cunt in front of him, taking it in completely. "Fuck, honey.. what a pretty fuckin' pussy. Gorgeous.." He tells you, the dirty words filling your ears as you blush again at them. You've never had anyone talk to you like that, nor have you even heard anyone speak in that way til’ now.

Your eyes look around the tent, wanting to look at anything else but him and yourself, the shame starting to flow through you. You feel his fingers gently spread your lips apart, making you whimper softly at the feeling. It makes you look down at him and his hands, and you move your legs to try and clench them together again.

He tuts and shakes his head, gripping your knees harshly this time as he pushes your legs away from each other, spreading you for him completely. "You do what I want, baby, and this all goes smoothly, okay? You don't, and I promise you it'll hurt for you."

His eyes are stern as he looks into your own, seeing the angriest he's been so far towards you. You nod your head gently at him, gulping nervously and not wanting to make him any more upset.

The lips on his face slowly turn upwards, grinning at you brightly, "That's a good girl.. Just be a good girl for me," He encourages you, letting his fingers run around your glistening lips again as he moans out softly. "Gonna give you a finger, okay, darlin'? I'll go slow, if that's what you want.." He proposes to you, seemingly wanting to make this enjoyable for you as well.

You nod quickly and sigh sharply, pleading him, "Y-Yes, Ezra, slow please.. Please don't make it hurt."

His smile grows fonder, knowing that he's got you where he wants you now. "Don't worry, birdie, I'll make it good for you.. Just trust me."

The index finger that's right above your clit then moves into your lips, swiping it down between your folds as you moan. He then finds your entrance, pushing it in slowly and as gently as possible, making him groan out.

You gasp softly as your jaw falls open, looking down at his finger entering you. He sighs, "Fuck, so tight, sweetheart.." as his finger then pushes all the way inside of you, thick and long. You pant as you stare at his hand, clenching around his finger. He looks up at you and smirks, lips curling up into another grin, "S'good for me, honey.. Have you ever even touched yourself?" Ezra prompts you, realizing how shocking this was for you.

You move your head to look up at him and shake your head, gasping out, "Just.. just touched myself a couple of times, but never.. put one inside," and you lick your lips, your throat becoming dry, making you gulp.

He chuckles and slips his finger out, thrusting it back into you to see you gasp again, making him laugh. "Fuck, that's hot, baby.. Pretty pussy taking my finger so well. So tight.. Think you can take more?" He asks you, his finger gradually moving faster as you grow wetter, the squelching sounds filling the space more and more.

You moan out louder as you bite your lip, nodding your head at him. It was starting to feel good, and you couldn't help but give in.. forgetting about ever wanting him to stop.

"Good fuckin' girl, birdie.. My god." He says, taking his finger out just enough for it to be outside of your entrance. He presses his index and middle finger together now, rubbing them in between your folds to gather the slick you've produced for him. He then pushes it into your hole once he feels they're wet enough, making you whine loudly.

You gasp out, "F-Fuck, Ezra!" and grip onto one of the pillows next to you, lifting your head to sit up and watch his movements. You feel your body grow hotter by the second, the overwhelming feeling of his slow, yet deliberate fingers moving deeply inside of you, the mere sight of it making you lightheaded.

Your throat grows dry as you pant heavily, feeling nothing like you've ever experienced before. His eyes wander over your body, taking in the view of your worn out face, moaning for him, and your body that's trembling for him, your baggy shirt lifting up and up as you begin to shake.

His gasp is low and loud as he smirks, his mouth falling open as he looks at you, his need for you increasing more and more. As his fingers continue to move, he adds a third finger, making your face twist in pleasure and a mix of pain, the sudden intrusion shocking you. It feels too good for you to even care at this point.

He praises you filthily, moving his free hand to move your shirt up, exposing your tits for him. "God, you're so pretty, honey.. Such a pretty fuckin' cunt. Can't believe I found you, huh?" He says, making you squirm as butterflies fill your stomach with his dirty words and nick names.

He grasps onto one of your tits, squeezing it harshly, but not harsh enough to hurt you. Just right. He twists one of your nipples gently between his thumb and index finger, watching as it hardens and perks up for him. He groans at the view and brings his face closer to them, taking your other nipple into his mouth as he sucks onto it desperately.

You moan loudly, whimpering against him as the pleasure grows immensely. You've never felt this good in your life and you're in absolute bliss. You're not sure how or if it could get better than this.

"E-Ezra, can't.. can't take it, oh god," You cry out, panting even faster and louder as his fingers hit a spot inside of you that makes you see stars for a second. It's too overwhelming, too fucking good. Your hands find their way towards Ezra's hair, tugging on it gently, needing him more than ever. You wouldn't even begin to think that meeting him today would lead to this moment.

He finally removes himself from your tits, chuckling darkly as he looks up at you, bringing his head closer to your face. He looks at you intently, with desire and as if you were the only person in the entire world.

His fingers slow down, making you catch your breath a bit, and he removes them from your entrance, bringing them up to your face. "Taste yourself for me, baby.. Wanna see you take my fingers, can you do that, honey?" He whispers softly to you, his three fingertips resting against your lips, waiting for you to open them up for him.

You oblige, nodding your head as you open your mouth for him, allowing him to slip them in between your lips. You close your mouth shut around them, sucking on them gently as you moan out, looking at him the entire time. Your eyes roll back as he pushes them even further into your mouth, making it a bit harder to breathe, but you continue, wanting to please him.

His fingers were so thick in your mouth, and his scent was driving you insane. "Atta girl.. God, you're so fuckin' sexy. Makin' me go all crazy, you know that, pretty girl?" He groans out, bringing his free hand to grip your chin roughly. It makes you whine against his fingers, making Ezra feel the vibration of it through them.

He laughs lowly and slowly pulls his fingers out of your mouth, looking at them as your saliva connects, providing a string of it as he pulls it away. He just chuckles as he watches it, looking at you with adoration in his eyes. His grip on your chin moves to your cheeks now, squeezing your face a bit tightly as he demands you, "Open your mouth, baby. Open wide for me."

You quickly listen to him, opening your mouth as wide as you can. Before you could even process it, he spits down your throat, making you gasp loudly. "Now, swallow it. Swallow it all, darlin', let me see it." He instructs you, his grip on your face remaining rough and tight.

You nod and close your mouth, swallowing all of it for him. His hand squeezes your cheeks together, making you open your mouth again to let him see that you did what he asked of you. "Dirty, dirty fuckin' girl. Got so lucky, didn't I? Now you're getting it.." He lets out, snickering as you stick your tongue out to prove it.

His words make you feel so filthy, but you can't help but start to love it.. crave it. He's making it harder for you to even breathe right now.

You let out a small laugh, still absolutely worn out and overwhelmed, thanking him as your head feels cloudy. Ezra then grasps onto one of your hands, making you stare at its motion. He brings your palm to his hard bulge, all pent up through his pants, and the way it feels makes you moan. You've heard stories about men and this happening to them, but you never thought you'd be able to feel it like this.

"See how you make me feel, sweetheart? How hard you make me? You know what this means, right?" He says to you, his voice rough and raspy while he palms your hand over his bulge, making him moan lowly. You shake your head, not knowing if what you're thinking is the right answer.

He grins and chuckles, "Means I need your pretty pussy around me, honey. That's the only way I can satiate this.. make it all go away.. You gonna help me with that, baby? Gonna be a good girl for me?" Ezra eggs you on, wanting you to crave this just as much as he does.

Your breath hitches in your throat as you swallow a bit nervously, unsure but curious to know how it'll feel like. You've wondered about this your entire life, and you could finally experience it now.

You open your mouth to speak, hesitating to do so. Ezra softly rubs his other hand towards your inner thigh, attempting to reassure you. "Don't worry, birdie.. I'd never hurt you, if that's what you're concerned about. I'll make it feel real good for you. Make you see stars, honey.. What do you say?" He encourages, leaning in closer to your face.

What else do I have left to lose? You ask yourself, coming to your decision to agree. You pause, nodding your head at his proposals.

"Words, darlin', need you to tell me. Tell me you want this.. that you want me." He tells you, urging it from you as he removes your hand from his bulge to lift his hand to your face, gently caressing your cheek affectionately. It makes you shudder to the touch.

You sigh, inhaling sharply, "I want you, Ezra.. I want this." You admit to him, the arousal running through your body as it reaches your core. You grow wet again, thinking of this actually happening.

He smiles gently at you and leans in closer to your lips, whispering out against them, "That's it.. Atta girl, baby," and presses a gentle, yet firm & long kiss to your lips.

You moan into the kiss, shutting your eyes at the feeling. You've been kissed before, but never like this.. never from a man who's made you feel this good. It leaves you dazed and hazy as he pulls away from you, the need for him growing even more.

Ezra's hands reach for his pants now, grabbing onto the hem as he pulls it down along with his own underwear, revealing his hard cock for you. The sight of it makes your mouth water, wondering how he'll even fit inside of you if you could barely handle a few of his fingers.

Your throat grows dry as you gulp nervously at the thought, making you stammer out, "Ezra.. A-Are you sure it'll be able to fit? I.. I'm not sure if it will.." You confess to him, licking your lips as you finally look up at him.

A soft laugh escapes his throat as he grins at you, stroking his cock gently and slowly, staring at you with a hard gaze, "Don't you worry, honey.. I'll make it fit." He tells you, the nervous tone in your voice all the more spurring him on, aching with need for you. "Now, keep those legs open for me, birdie.. Wanna look at you while I take you."

Your heart races at his words, yet you comply with his requests, knowing that there's no way of getting out of this regardless. Nodding your head and staring at his face intently, you keep your legs spread for him, the cold air hitting your core and making you shiver.

Ezra moves himself in between your legs, grabbing the base of his cock with his right hand as he rubs the tip of it along your wet folds, making him moan out from the feeling. His stare is fixed onto your glistening cunt; the only thing he's been fantasizing about this entire day.

Without warning, he pushes the fat head of his cock into your pussy all while keeping his eyes on your face, wanting to see your reaction to him. Your eyes shoot open from the sudden intrusion, mouth falling open. "E-Ezra!" You gasp out, looking down at his body connecting to yours as you grip the bed to the best of your ability.

He just lets out a sigh of satisfaction, laughing at your reaction, "Sorry, baby.. Couldn't wait any longer. You can take more, can't you?" He pushes you, smirking as he continues to make his way into your cunt more and more, feeling his cock grow deeper inside of you.

Your walls involuntarily clench around him, the stretch of it almost unbearable for you as your shut your eyes, throwing your head back. He wasn't giving you any time to really adjust, and the pain burned while the pleasure slowly made itself apparent with the warmth in your body growing quickly.

Panting, your heart races even faster, unable to stop yourself from opening your eyes. You keep your gaze on the sight of him pushing himself inside of you, making your body feel fuller by the second.

Ezra groans as he continues to push further, gasping out, "Fuck, that's it, baby.. What a tight fuckin' pussy. Fillin' you up nice and good, just like you needed.." The words on his tongue making you throb for him, as he finally buries himself inside of you completely.

Your breath is taken away as his thick cock fills you to the brim, tears beginning to form in the corner of your eyes as your mouth gapes at the feeling and sight of it. He's huge, making it evident that way as you see him bulge out from your stomach.

He chuckles as his eyes follow where yours are, seeing himself in your stomach. He places his hand right there on top of it, pushing onto your stomach so you can feel him right there. "You feel me in you, honey? So deep, I know.. But it feels good, don't it? Takin' every fuckin' inch.." He pants, slowly but adamantly rocking himself against you.

It takes every bit of control in him to not fuck you hard, taking what he wants from you and using you how he wants.

"Gonna move now, baby.. S'gonna feel real good, I promise.." He whispers, reaching for one of your legs to lift it up onto his shoulder, making the angle of his cock push into you even deeper as you groan loudly, the unbearable feeling running through your core.

You just lay there, taking it as the pleasure builds up and up inside of you, his hips pushing and pulling as the speed gradually increases.

He pulls his hips back, his hand pressing harshly onto your stomach to keep you still and full of him, making sure that he pulls his cock out just enough for it to rest at your entrance, wasting no time to shove it back into you.

The burn of his girth and how much it stretches you feels incredible now, making you moan out and shudder at the feeling. With each push of his cock, he fills you completely, pressing his hips to the hilt of your pussy, almost like you're taking him deeper every time.

"F-Fuck.. Ezra— please.. please!" You whine, the tears in your ears now falling down your cheeks at the overwhelming pressure in your pussy. "So.. So good, please, fa-faster.." You plead, your eyes fixed on him completely.

He lets out a filthy laugh, loving how much you're craving for it now. He knew he'd get you right where he wanted you. "That's my girl.. my good girl. Don't you worry, honey, I'll give you more than you need.." Ezra whispers lowly to you, the speed of his thrusts and movements now going at an unbearable pace, making your body shake and move from the force of his hips.

You whine out loudly, choking out as your eyes shut from the rapid change of speed. The noises that your pussy makes from his huge cock hammering inside of you is filthy, making you flush from how it rings in your ears.

"Dirty girl.. You hear yourself? Hear how soaked you are from my fuckin' cock? Can't get enough of this pretty little pussy, honey.. It's too good. Wanna fuck this cunt forever.." He groans out, making your eyes roll back at his words.

His movements suddenly halt as he pulls out of you, grabbing onto your waist roughly to flip you onto your stomach, trapping your legs and hips with his thighs. Ezra quickly grabs hold of his cock, gliding the tip of it through your folds as he shoves it back inside your tight cunt, feeling him deeper than you ever thought you could.

Your back involuntarily arches up, the feeling of him buried inside of you being too much, too deep, as you whale and whine, turning your head to try to look at him. "W-Wait! Too much, please.. slow down!" You choke out, trying to get him to relent.

Ezra just laughs and shoves your head back down onto the bed with his left hand, the other pushing your back down to press your stomach flat. He shushes you, his thrusts quickening as he fills you with each push, "Shh, honey.. Just take it.. You can do it, I know you can, baby.. S'Better like this. Take this fuckin' cock, like the good girl you are.."

Your body convulses at his harsh movements, making your stomach coil in pleasure as you feel yourself grow hotter and hotter, the feeling in your cunt making you sob out. His cock repeatedly hits that spot deep inside of you, making you see stars.. just as he promised you.

His hips continuously collide with your ass, moving his hands to grab handfuls of it, squeezing your cheeks harshly as he spreads your ass for him, watching his cock plunge into you over and over again.

"Fuck, birdie.. Gotta nice ass, too.. So perfect for me." He chuckles out, slapping your ass a few times, making you squirm and groan out from the pleasurable sting. "Mmphf!" You whimper, his hand pushing the side of your face down onto the bed.

You cry out, tears falling down your cheeks as you sob, "T-Too much, Ezra! I.. I can't.."

He shakes his head and tuts his tongue, correcting you, "Yes, you can, you can, sweetheart.. Not gonna stop til' I'm done with you," He says harshly, his tone needy and mean as his movements grow rougher. "Cryin' so pretty for me, baby.. Makin' me so proud.. My girl."

You shake as your body convulses from his thrusts, and Ezra laughs at that, knowing that you're close.. feeling that you're close, as you clench around his huge cock repeatedly, that unrelenting feeling building up in you.

Ezra's arm moves beneath your stomach, grasping onto your waist tightly as he suddenly pulls you up against his chest. He holds you unbelievably close and tight against him, making it impossible for you to move away, keeping you absolutely still for him. His hand at your waist moves to one of your tits, grabbing it hard as he holds you there.

His thrusts hit that spot inside of you repeatedly, pressing into it over and over again as you shake, your body feeling too weak to even hold yourself up. Ezra just does that for you, gripping and taking your body to his liking, as if your body was his.

To be fair, your body already is.

Sobbing out, you scream and shut your eyes tightly, lifting your head up to rest it on his shoulder, his pants and groans filling your ears as you grow lightheaded. "That's it, honey.. Gonna come for me? I feel it.. Feel how close you are. I am too.." He whispers in your ear, moving his free hand down to your cunt, using two of his fingers to rub rapid circles on your clit.

Your eyes shoot up at the feeling, enduring the feeling of your climax increasing as your stomach tightens and coils uncontrollably. "F-Fuck— Ezra! Go-Gonna.. come!" You cry out, your body completely giving out as his cock just takes you.

"That's right, come on my fuckin' cock, baby.. Gonna come too.. fill you up real good, sweetheart.. Make you mine."

Your eyes widen at his words, knowing that he shouldn't.. he can't. "N-No, Ezra, not inside, you can't, I.." You whimper out as your breath hitches in your throat.

He just shakes his head, laughing in your ear, "I can't? I can't? I can do whatever I want, baby. Nothin's stoppin' me.. not you, not your little family.. They're long gone now, honey.."

You whimper and cry out, squirming against him as you try to pull away, knowing that you can't get pregnant. Not in a world like this.

Your pleads just spur him on, all while his fingers on your clit push you further to the edge.

"You know, I was watching you.. following you around all day.. wondering how tight this pretty cunt would feel around me. Fuck.. I was right.. Now, you're mine. Never gonna leave you, baby.. Pussy's too good. Can't let you go.. Can't give this up."

Tears stream down your face as the pressure inside of you builds up with every breath you take, not even processing the words he just said. Your lower body shakes as you try to keep your eyes open, screaming out, "G-God.. M' gonna come!" His fingers apply even more pressure on your clit as he laughs. "Come for me, honey.. Doin' so good for me. Come on my fuckin' cock."

Your ears drown out every single noise in the tent, ringing loudly as your throat tightens, screaming out. Your cunt tightens around his cock, clenching onto him as much as you can as your pussy convulses and writhes against his, seeing stars. He fucks you through it, his pace never faltering as your climax coats his cock with your slick, running down your weak thighs.

He lets go of your body, making you collapse on your stomach as his thrusts go faster, harder. He's close, and you can feel it too, his cock twitching inside of your spent cunt.

His groans fill the room as he hammers into you, gripping onto your ass and waist to keep you still for him. "Gonna fill this pretty pussy so deep, you're gonna feel me for days, honey.. That way, you'll never leave me.. Never gonna feel any other man fuck you this good.. My pretty girl.."

You whine out at his words, knowing how fucked up it is.. but, you can't help but love it.

His hands grip your hips tightly, pulling your waist flush against him as he groans loudly, holding you there. His cock is buried inside of you as deep as he can, pulsing streams of his come inside your cunt. You feel him deep inside of you, painting your walls as you sob out at the feeling. "O-Oh, fuck!"

"Fuck, yeah, baby.. All fuckin' mine, Take it. That's a good girl." He sighs out contently, pushing his cock even a fraction of an inch deeper, as far as he can. You whimper at how full you feel, his come running through your pussy, whining at how good it feels for you, even though it shouldn't.

Ezra's body slowly collapses on top of your back, keeping himself inside of you as he finally slows down, beginning to catch his breath, his high deterring.

The tears in your eyes start to dry up and your eyes stay wide open, processing everything that just happened. The shock runs through your body, making you shiver at the thought. You can't help but crave him even more, making you realize that you wanted this.

Ezra moves his hands around your waist to pull you against his chest as he rolls to his side, taking you with him. He pulls you in closer, preventing you from moving, staying flushed against him.

His coarse, gentle voice fills your ears as you shut your eyes, the exhaustion catching up to you, all while his hand runs through your hair, caressing your head affectionately.

"All mine, honey.. Never lettin' you go.."

And he never does.

You never make it back home.

-

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reblogs are appreciated <3

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: trophic level ²

He's a former idol, one of the people sheltered and saved from the inevitable collapse of humanity- probably thinking that his eye was some huge sacrifice he'd made to survive. Well, welcome to reality; where you can count yourself lucky if you only loose your eye, and nothing else.

Tags/Warnings: Zombie apocalypse, Violence, blood and descriptive gore, enemies to lovers, former idol!Jungkook, jungkook is half blind in this, near death experiences

Additional Chapter Warnings: tsundere af reader, jungkook being jungkook, if you use some glasses you can spot some fluff, dirt ew, blood and wounds ew², mild Angst

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You're not feeling too good.

You're not sure if Jungkook has noticed this or not, but right now, you're at least happy he doesn't complain or bug you about it. You don't like staying in one place for too long, so you keep on walking behind him through abandoned cars and buildings around. He's not stupid- he doesn't enter the town itself, keeps himself and you in the background to avoid potential dead people trying to gain some dinner.

It's not long, though, when your dizziness gets the best of you, sending you straight into the bushes below, unable to get up for a good moment. "Wha- fuck!" He curses under his breath, instantly pulling you out the branches and into a sitting position. "What's wrong? What happened?" He wants to know, his brown eye roaming your features for any hint.

"Oh, thought I'd take a quick nap, you know." You tell him, wiping your cheek where there's a little cut now from the sharp branches you'd fallen into. "Give me a second. I'll be up in a few.." you mumble to yourself, while he simply refuses to listen it seems, trying to guess your temperature with the back of his hand.

"You're sweating." He tells mostly himself as his hand dips into your sweater and jacket, making your cheeks burn for a second from the bold action. "You got injured yesterday, right?" He asks, brows furrowed and face serious.

"Just a scrape. But yeah." You say, moving your leg that he instantly inspects by pulling on your pants. "Ow, hey! Thought you idols were such gentlemen." You curse, while he clicks his tongue, tilting his head a bit irritated.

"I'll just ignore that comment." He murmurs, before lifting the pant leg a bit more carefully.

"Well, awesome." You throw your hands up, seeing the angry red and splotchy skin around your cut.

"Its infected. Why didn't you say anything?" He scolds, and for the first time, you actually shrink in on yourself a bit at his harsh tone. Maybe you should put the whole idol-persona you've had in mind for him aside for now.

At least until you make sure he won't have to cut your leg off.

"I didn't want you to stop walking." You say quietly. "We can't stay in one place for long."

"Yeah and you can't walk with just one leg." He sighs. "I'm not a doctor, I've got honestly no idea what to do, other than.. things I've read on Google a few years back."

"Well, then use that world-wide-web knowledge! It's better than nothing?" You encourage, and he pushes his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he looks around.

There's not many options, and even less are even slightly safe. He can't stay here with you, not with the potential amount of dead walking around in the more inner parts of the city. He has to move into a different direction for now, find some remote shelter that hopefully has some things left he can use, and then let you rest until you can keep up again.

"Alright." He says, dropping his backpack. "Get on." He tells you.

"And your backpack?" You wonder quietly.

"I'll carry it in my hand. Come on now." He urges. "We don't have time forever."

You quietly crawl onto his back like that, surprised at how easily he seems to lift and carry you, as he begins to walk. "I'm sorry." You mumble.

"For what?" He scoffs.

"Being a burden? This is horribly cliche." You complain. He shrugs as best as he can with you on his back.

"Just don't sacrifice yourself or something. Being lonely sucks." He complains quietly, and you're unsure if he meant that as a joke, or in all seriousness.

Maybe both.

In the small shed you find in the middle of the woods a few minutes away from town, there's no one there- not much supplies either, but enough to at least comfort you both for a day or two. Jungkook carefully places you down next to a cold and dirty stove, before he searches through the cabinets for anything.

"Yes! Fuck, yes, I'm so good, kissed by the gods, I swear!" He calls out but keeps his voice low, fist-bumping the air.

"Did you find alcohol?" You wonder.

"Even better!" He grins, before shaking a plastic bottle. "Penicillin!" He presents as if he's shooting a commercial.

Go figure. Some things never change.

"Alright, I'll clean that and while you're busy being a good girl and not scream at me while I'm doing that-" he looks at you from his halfway-kneeling position, old shirt in hand as well as a water bottle. You're a bit flustered at his choice of words. "-you can chug some of these bad boys so they'll kick in soon." He instructs, while you just nod dumbly.

He's surprisingly effective yet gentpe- though he has to keep a good grip on your ankle because you can't help but pull away every now and then. He's constantly making sure to whisper out praise whenever he can, concentrated on doing a good job wrapping gauze he'd found still packaged around your cut, not too tight and not too loose before he leaves you be.

"Hey I found some-" he calls out after securing some snacks they'd stored- only to find you asleep, halfway leaning against the stove and his backpack.

Quietly, Jungkook just sits down next to you, watching you, listening to any noises that might come from outside. The shed is safe, he'd secured all entrances and windows, but still, he keeps watch over you for as long as he can stay awake.

Because being lonely sucks, yeah-

But he's also really starting to like you.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: @katkitkats and I talked about this about a week ago. I'm sorry this took me so long, Kat. I know it's a lot shorter than what I was anticipating. Ha, isn't that some shit. I DIDN'T write something freakishly long. Jesus. How weird. Anyway, I hope you like it, Kat. <3 As always, thanks for discussing your ideas with me

C/W ::: Timeskip Hanma x depressed F.reader, talk of feeling worthless, mention of leaving - I don't mean suicide, I just mean like, literally going away/leaving.

Hanma is uncharacteristically sweet and compassionate in this piece. Do I think he could ever be capable of such feelings? Honestly? I can see it happening but he's got a lot of growing up to do first.

WC ::: 1,284

Cry Until You Laugh

For Kat

The light from outside was an assault on your eyes that you would not soon forget. Or forgive, for that matter. Hanma pulled back the blackout curtains in favor of the light yellow embroidered sheers to filter the world from your sensitive disposition.

"It looks like it's going to be a warm day. What do you think about going for a rid-" You met his question with a loud groan and rolled over, pulling his pillow over your face. "Ok. So no ride along the coast. Noted. But you know you should at least-" He started again.

"Try to get outside. Yes, Shuji. I know. Thank you." You said softly, despite interrupting him. You knew that he was only trying to do his best for you. For the both of you. "But I think I'd like to stay in. You know how I feel about that fiery fucking thing in the sky. I hate it."

That drew a soft laugh from him. "Hana, what am I going to do with you." You knew what he meant but you just couldn't help yourself.

"It's recycling day, is it not? Just put something decent on me and sit me at the curb. Let the city handle the rest."

"Han- hana. Don't talk like that. Please? I'm never going to ... to do whatever the fuck you're talking about. Now come please. I have to get you up and running and then we’re going out. What sounds good for breakfast?"

You pulled the pillow the rest of the way from your face and flipped it behind your head, sitting at a comfortable incline. The look on Hanma's face was absolutely heartbreaking. He shouldn't have to be dealing with this shit. With you. It made you feel bad, knowing you were such a burden on everyone that has stuck by you up to this point.

Normally, you'd make some offhand comment about how a bowl of shredded glass and bleach would be all you'd need for the morning. But there was a noticeable sadness that was almost heavier in Hanma's eyes than in your own. It made you want to cry. But then that would only make him feel bad. And that was just one more thing you never wanted for him. You were sad enough for the both of you.

"Hana ... please? I know you feel like there are better things to do, but it's important to take care of yourself, baby. Don't you want to show the world how beautiful you are." He chuckles as he says the last part. "Eh, I know you don't care. I know you don't."

Hanma helps you up off of the bed and helps you walk to the bathroom. He lifts you up and sets you on top of the counter and pulls out the brush to run it through your hair. It's been hard for him, this experience with you. He loves you with every piece of himself. But sometimes he doesn't know how to act around you. You're a loose canon sometimes and if he says or does something that can set you off, there's no telling how long you'll be on that downward spiral.

"Hey... Look at me. It's going to be okay. We'll take some time just for us today." He tips your face up so you're looking at him. His amber eyes are glowing in the morning sunlight.

How, you wonder, can one person be everything when you are nothing.

He manages to take care of things and makes sure you do the bare minimum on top of everything else. It's so fucking exhausting being you.

Sometimes you play the "If I just left" game. But you would never leave him like that. You don't think, anyway.

"Look at me." His tone shifted from soft to commanding. "I mornings are hard for you. I know this morning is hard for you." As he notices you're not responding, he brings his face close, and caresses your cheeks, to make you see him as he stares at you sharply. 

His reassurances are your downfall. You can tell him no over and over again. Tell him to fuck off until you're blue in the face. But he'd only tell you that blue looks really pretty on you.

"I love you." You break down in tears.

He holds you tightly, shushing you softly. "I'm here. I'm here, baby. I'm not leaving. I promise. I'll stay as long as you want me to stay. I'm not going anywhere." He whispers softly to you as he gently runs his fingers through your hair. "It's going to be okay."

You feel so stupid and vulnerable right now. You just want to crawl in a hole and disappear. But Hanma won't let that happen.

He helps you get ready for the day and takes you to the kitchen for breakfast. You hate it when he cooks for you. It makes you feel like a child. But he insists and you're just too fucking tired to argue.

After you eat, he helps you put on your shoes and a light jacket before grabbing his keys and wallet. He opens the front door and lets you walk out first before following behind you.

The sunlight was damn near blinding. You hadn't been outside in weeks and the fresh air felt foreign.

Hanma takes your hand and leads you to his car. You can already feel the anxiety starting to shake loose in your chest. It's been so long since you've been out in public. You just hope that no one you know sees you.

The ride to the park is a quiet one. You're still upset and you're trying not to cry again.

When you finally reach the park, Hanma parks the car and comes around to open your door. He offers his hand and you take it.

You walk in silence through the park. The only sound is the crunch of the leaves beneath your feet.

As you're walking, you notice Hanma taking pictures of you. You don't like it but you don't say anything. You know he's just trying to make you feel better.

You both stop at a bench and sit down. Hanma wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you close. "How are you feeling, hana? It's been some time since you've been out like this." He says softly.

"I'm alright." You respond quietly.

"You don't have to pretend with me, baby." He says as he caresses your cheek. "It's okay to not be okay."

"I just... I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't stand how I feel like this. I hate that I'm not able to be normal anymore." You sigh as you lean into his touch.

"You're doing the best you can, sweetheart. You're so brave and so beautiful." He presses a soft kiss to your temple.

"You don't have to keep doing this, you know." You say quietly. "You don't have to keep putting up with me. You can leave if you want."

"I'm not going anywhere, hana. I'm here for you. I love you and I'm not leaving you."

You lean against him as tears start to well up in your eyes. "I don't deserve you."

He stretched his arms above his head. "I know." He whispers as he gently strokes your hair. "Everything in the world, hana. You're worth it. I'll never leave you."

You sniffle as you try to hold back the tears. "I just want to be normal again."

Hanma sighs softly. "I know, hana. But what's the fun in that?"

He looks down and smiles at you.

And for the first time in a long time, you smile.

Really smile.

Taglist ::: @darkstarlight82 @viburnt @arlerts-angel @kazutora-kurokawa

[oars]

hiii I want to know more about appindex 👉👈

what is his relationship like with the other party members?

How easily does she trust other people?

If they are stressed or upset is there a thing/place/action that is comforting to him?

also anything else you want to share?

(I LOVE her design by the way, their appearance immediately caught my attention. Love your use of color too)

sorry this took me so long i swear when i saw this ask i started squealinf abd looking like this

gonna put it under a read more since um im gonna assume this will get really long lol

disclaimer im gonna straight spill my thoughts sorry if things stop making sense

i made a small comic just for the first question but tumblr doesnt like it for some reason and it prevents it from showing up unless you go directly to my blog :<

anyways i think overall appindex is like a mother of at least 6. companions come to them in the middle of the night like "i frew up :(" that typa thing

since family/clan n loyalty is very important to dragonborn and appindex just lost theirs before being abducted they are very quick to attach to these losers

i think while appin is not under the control of any god, lord, devil, etc they've created a personal hell of his own bc he tries to bear all responsibilities and burdens of those around him bc he's scared of failing and losing too much again. or all he has left really. that can make them kind of overbearing and it would be annoying if like the main companions didn't have issues and lowkey liked the attention.

what does get annoying is that it comes off as appindex not trusting their companions to do any heavy lifting but that improves in like act 2-3 especially since that's around the part the tav is expected to save baldurs gate. and the world like that's way too much weight for appin to carry on their own without breaking so atp they don't really have a choice but to let their companions share some of that albeit verrrry reluctantly

slightly more specific relations ---

shadowheart: shart is the first appin gets close to even if shes older i like to think she's like a little sister to appindex anyways <3 i should just show screenshots of the epilogue conversation bc it feels so fitting. probably one of the only companions to recognize appin's exhaustion and nag her

karlach: close in a years long tumblr mutual type intimacy way. "i'd let my mutuals come inside idc" type relationship. they occasionally sleep and cuddle naked. as good friends do. it's nice having someone they could rely on for literal heavy lifting and hitting bc in appin's eyes the rest of his companions are made of sticks and paper, save for lae'zel. girls who rip off heads with their bare hands and paint their nails in the blood :3

astarion: i do not know how to explain their relationship early on bc it fluctuates in my head. obviously irritated by how appin stops to help anyone and everyone especially since most of those people in act 1 are parents and children. appindex definitely laughs at his lame ass "seduction" bc it's pretty see through; it becomes less about seducing and just aiming making them laugh. appin probably said "im proud of you" at some point and it got to his head now he's vying for their attention and validation (get in line). my white hollow boned elf i'd probably give my organs to if he asked - appin

i think appindex is the more mature one, mentally and emotionally, especially since dragonborn develop and mature much earlier than elves do and i feel like dying young and being under cazador's control stunted astarions own maturity a bit. the result is appindex treating him like a child sometimes; not trusting him to do a number of things, scolding him,"dont treating me like a child" "dont act like one" etc etc. i think at some point he just does it and wears on appindex's extensive patience on purpose because he's a little freak like that :/. appin does not think its cute

ok no more of them next question

i think appindex is pretty trusting in a way. if they feel like they have no reason to feel threatened by someone they'll have their trust but that doesn't mean it can't be lost ofc. which is why they trust laezel and astarion so easily. why would they be scared of a tiny white elf who can't even get them to knife point (he failed that).

he does struggle to trust others to do things for them though, if he were ever to be out of commission or on the verge of it it would be like pulling teeth to try and get him to let someone else lead temporarily.

appin holds onto a piece of kednyr's old blanket bc it still smells like her :thumbs_up: karlach gives her a teddy bear with that piece attached to it as a gift. astarion may have helped but he will not confirm

extra notes ermm appin lived in the upper city, not a patriar or a servant, they just co-run an expensive smithy there.

as a passionate blacksmith (and someone who wants to become an artificer) appin is really intrigued by karlach's engine and wishes they could collaborate with dammon on how to fix it or make her a new one entirely

to add onto that he's extremely fascinated by the grymforge in the underdark its like a theme park to him. it is their nerdiest point in the storyline

they can stay underwater for a good period of time; an hour is their highest time

andd she has a prosthetic leg around age 40-45 sorry this got so long . this things in my head 24/7 rn i tried to omit some things to make it shorter but oh well

[kristeristerin]

Hello, this is my first time sending in an ask, but I saw that you were taking Taylor Swift’s songs x ACOTAR drabbles, so can I please request Lucien Vanserra x reader and Enchanted? Thank you very much!

AN - This is something that I'd originally written as being Eris X Reader, but I changed it around to be for Lucien. I hope you still like it! Thank you for the prompt! <3

As always asks are open for prompts!

Song: Enchanted

Pairing: Reader X Lucien

Content Warning: None

Words: 859

When Nesta invited you to attend Starfall at the House of Wind you had initially been ecstatic, but now that you are here you are overwhelmed, to say the least. The House of Wind is beautiful, but the crowded balcony made it difficult to breathe. Honestly, you’re not even sure what Cassian is talking about anymore as you force a smile to your face and bring your glass of wine to your lips.

You took the momentary lull in conversation to scan the crowd for anyone else you may know. That’s when a set of eyes meet your own, one amber and one golden. A red-haired man stands across the balcony speaking with the High Lord and Lady. Well, speaking was a generous term, the two heads of the Night Court were speaking, but he was quiet, his gaze still locked with yours.

He lifts his glass and nods toward the bar with an eyebrow raised. You bite your lip before smiling at him and giving him a subtle nod.

You turn back to excuse yourself, but see Nesta already watching you.

“Be careful with that one,” is all she says before she turns her full attention back to her mate.

You take a steadying breath before you make your way over to where the male waited at the bar.

Standing beside him, you’re careful to keep your eyes straight ahead as the bartender fills your glass and hands it back to you. The two of you stand in companionable silence for several minutes before he finally speaks.

“Have we met before?”

You look toward him, but jump seeing that he was much closer than you had anticipated. You find yourself leaning in, enjoying the heat that radiated off of him in contrast to the chilly spring evening.

You take a moment to make a show of looking him up and down before looking up at him through your lashes. “I don’t believe so, and I’m certain I’d remember you if we had.”

“Hmmm,” he nods and takes a sip of his wine before giving you a roguish smile, “Perhaps it was in my dreams then.”

Unable to stop the laughter, you throw your head back. “Tell me, does that line work where you are from?”

“Where I am from I rarely have to speak at all to find a lady who is willing to share my company for an evening.”

“High Court ladies are so easily taken to bed then?” you raise a brow at him. “Or is that simply the perk of being an emissary?”

“I’d never imply such a thing,” he put a hand to his chest. “Who is to say I am an emissary, anyhow?”

At that you laugh again, “Surely you can’t expect that I was so naive I didn’t realize whom I was speaking to, Lucien Vanserra.”

His smile vanished when you said his name. “Well, then I suppose this is where I will bid you a good evening, my lady”

He bows and moves to leave when you reach out a hand and grab his hand to stop him.

“Have I said something wrong, my lord?”

When he looks back to you the vulnerability in his eyes takes you by surprise. “Not at all,” he murmurs, “but while I’m generally well-liked among most courts, that doesn’t seem to be the case in the Night Court. I don’t wish to burden you with my company.”

“Your company is no burden at all,” you gently squeeze the hand you still held, “I assure you our conversation has been the most entertaining that I have had all evening.”

You watch as he takes a shaky breath and nods.

“Very well,” all signs of vulnerability vanish as a cocky smile returns to his face, “I appear to be at a disadvantage. May I know the name of the lady that I am about to ask to join me on the dance floor?”

“Of course, how rude of me. My name is Y/N.” You make a show of letting go of his hand so you can offer a handshake.

Lucien takes your hand and brings it to his lips. The brush of his lips against your knuckles causes your heart to race and you let out a little gasp. Your reaction causes him to smirk.

“Y/N, will you grace me with a dance?” His grip on your hand tightens slightly as he waits for your answer.

“Of course,” you move past him and use your interlocked hands to pull him toward the dancefloor.

Other guests give Lucien a wide berth, and soon the two of you are at the center of the floor. In a fluid motion, he pulls you to himself. He holds you closer than what would be considered appropriate in most social settings, but as you two begin to sway to the music you can’t find it in you to care.

When you lay your head on his chest you can hear his heart racing. You smile against him before angling your face toward his and whispering, “Are you ok, Lucien?”

He smiles in return before dropping a quick kiss on your forehead, “I’ve never been better, darling.”

[crossdressingdeath]

Halsin: I never quite realised how burdened I was, until I met you. The threat of the shadow curse, the politics of the grove... Halsin: ...I was forgetting who I was, but you lifted the fog. Thank you. Kyvir: You're welcome. Halsin: You're too modest. I wager you don't even know how extraordinary you truly are. But I do. Halsin: I have lived a very long time. I have taken many lovers. My heart does not stir lightly. But it does now. Kyvir: What are you saying exactly? Halsin: I want more than to fight at your side, or sit around the campfire with you. I want to lay with you under the stars and feel your skin against mine. Halsin: I think you feel the same way - why else would you have been so concerned about whether I had a lover before? Halsin: But tell me I'm wrong, and the matter can rest. I do not wish to sour our friendship, but I have to know if it can be something more. Kyvir: I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested - but I'm already in a relationship. Halsin: You have bonded with Astarion, body and soul. His scent lingers on your skin. If there is to be anything between us, it must be with his consent. And perhaps some day, his participation. Kyvir: You just want to share? What do you mean? Halsin: Some treat their relationships like a walled garden - tidy, tamed, cut off from the world. That is their right, but it is not for me. I do as nature does, and let my heart run wild. Desire flourishes wherever it finds purchase. Kyvir: I will speak with Astarion. Halsin: Take your time. I'll be waiting.

I GOT HIM.

I really do love how firm Halsin is on you talking to your lover and getting their permission first. He's very open about how much he wants you! Incredibly open about it, actually, with how much he flirts with you before the romance is even an option. And he is more than happy to share. But he's very much not a cheater, and he's not going to do anything if your lover isn't okay with it. I also like how there's no option for you to even suggest cheating; for all the awful things you can do in this game, you can't even bring up going for anything with Halsin without your partner's consent! It's a nice touch. I also love how he's basically like "And maybe one day we can convince your lover to join us?" It's nice that he doesn't necessarily just want you and is accepting the presence of your lover as a part of that, he'd be quite willing to have something (at least something physical if not emotional) with them as well.

I can't really articulate my feelings on the rest of this conversation, it's just... it's really good? It's so sweet and he's so clearly in awe of how extraordinary you are, and it doesn't feel like an abrupt shift in feelings (which I was slightly worried about, given this romance only opens up in act 3 while the others start in act 1) because of how much you can flirt with him from the start. It's very well-handled for a late-game romance option, I love it!

[amatres]

Karlach: We did it. We actually did it. And the city's still standing. Wyll: My powers… they're draining. Just like Mizora said they would. A small price to pay, in the grand scheme of things. The city will cheer us - but it is the triumph itself, the very smiting of evil, that should lift our hearts. Shadoweart: I can't feel the tadpole… they must have all died with the brain - that means we can't turn into mind flayers! Not that there's necessarily anything wrong with being a mind flayer, of course…

the fact the camera then immediately cuts to orpheus is very funny. talking about orpheus!

Orpheus: You helped me destroy that abomination. Now help me destroy myself. You must kill me. But first, Lae'zel, I need your promise. Carry my hope, carry my burden. Call my dragons, Quulos and Quuthos, and ride to the Astral Seaa. Destroy Vlaakith, release our people. Be our future and our legacy. Lae'zel: It will be done. I will never be free while my people are still bound by Vlaakith's chains. … Lae'zel: I can never forget you. Your name will be etched in our slates. You will be called Mia'ghir - liberator.

my bestie goes back to the stars ❤ at least two people in this group got to finish their character arcs and end up relatively better off for it

Narrator: But it seems that Gale's mind is elsewhere. Gale: If I salvage the stones, I can reforge it. Perhaps with this offering, she'll finally cure me of the affliction of the orb. … Gale: Regardeless, it's the right thing to do. That's good enough for me. A wise man learns from his mistakes, and strives not to repeatt them. I shall bring the Crown to Mystra. Besides, I've grown fond of this merry band of ours, and I'd quite like to see what happens to it. I'm sure a summons from Mystra will appear soon enough, but until then, I propose we celebrate our victory as mortals do best - with a drink in our hands, and reckless abandon in our hearts.

he did this on his own, balaerra supported him in all but one convo, the elminster appeared in their camp, didn't talk to anyone, and then gale decided this. also yes he's still in his starting gear, i never used him lol

Minsc: Boo wins the bet. Wizards are not entirely boring.

this is so funny to have when you're playing a wizard. yes let's have a party! (said before her childhood friend died in front of her)

[sunlit-tickles]

Different Sides

Hiiro / Aira

Ensemble Stars

A/N: Before the summary, I'd like to ask everyone who would like to not be spoiled of the main story to please click off now! Thank you!

Summary: After the events of Idol Royale, Hiiro was left to sulk and overthink about his problems even if he's already comforted by his friend, Aira. Despite being used to Hiiro's constant change in mood, he still really dislikes the atmosphere and would like his real happy friend back.

---☀️

After the events of Idol Royale, Hiiro felt awful. He didn't get his brother's motives, nor did he understand why he just suddenly chose to disappear and run back to his hometown. However, the main thing that really hurt him was when he had been disowned by the very own brother he loved and admired for so long. He just stood still, unable to move from the shock of what just happened as he could barely function just after that. Even if the stars were shining their best tonight, it wasn't enough to make Hiiro smile as he could feel his composure slowly dying down as his mouth was threatening to frown. He was staring at the sky for so long that he didn't realize that he's already fallen down to the ground just looking at it. Well, not until--

"Hiiro-kun! Where are you!?"

Hiiro turned around to see Aira running towards him "Eh!? Why are you on the floor!? It's dirty! And where have you been!? You've been missing all night!" Oh...right. He left early and ran off on his own, another impulsive decision but there was no other choice! The shorter one grabbed his arm and started lifting him, squeaking when Hiiro's weight was suddenly on him as he leaned towards him to hug him. "H-Hey!? What's going on? You've been acting out of it all day...! You need to tell us what's going on y'know?" Aira panicked, immediately trying to shoulder his weight to not make them both fall. "... I'm sorry, Aira..." He mumbled, burying his head on the blonde's neck. "...I won't ask you to tell me what's wrong now but...you can rely on me Hiiro-kun. I'll carry you back to the dorm, but since you're taller your legs will dangle a little bit..is that alright with you?" Aira asks and he felt the older one just nod "Thank you Aira..." He mumbled, hugging him tighter trying to not reveal his face as tears started running down his cheeks. He couldn't see it, but Aira could definitely feel Hiiro's sadness from his silent weeping.

After a few minutes, they arrived at their dorm and they had settled down... except that Hiiro wouldn't leave Aira's side and clutched his hand despite hiding under a quilt to cope with everything. "Is everything better now?" He asks, checking in but just got the quilt to shake, seemingly making it that Hiiro was saying no. Instead, he squeezed his hand tighter and a small sob made it's way out. The blonde gently moved closer and sat beside Hiiro, gently rubbing the quilt his under to comfort him while massaging his hand "I'm not...used to having friends so I was overjoyed when you just accepted me as one when we met Hiiro-kun." Aira's soft voice somehow encouraged the red-head to take a small peek from the quilt to pay attention more, still having a disappointed expression on his face. "I never had alot of friends since I was so used to them leaving so I never bothered to make new ones. So...this is a real nice experience for me but..." Aira rubbed his hand "I don't want my friend upset. It's unpreventable yet I really don't like it happening..." His thoughts were so... comforting. He's so used to Aira nagging him and he doesn't see this side of him that often...it felt nice. It wasn't enough to calm him down completely but it still did help.

"..." "I don't like it when you act it on your own and I scold you often...but I also don't like it when you keep your thoughts to yourself. You can share your burden with us, and if you don't want with all of us, then at least me." Aira himself had a disappointed expression, but it was mixed with worry and concern "... please don't shoulder all these to yourself. I'd like to be of help to you as well, just like you are to me." And just like that, they were now both sad, both for different reasons but felt the need to resonate with each other. Hiiro left the sheets and sat up to hug Aira out of nowhere, small sniffles still coming out of him. The shorter one caressed his back and rubbed his head as the other just hugged even tighter than he already had, trying to hide the tear stains on his face "well, I know I can't force you to be your usual self now but, could I at least try to lift your spirits Hiiro-kun-?" He looked up from his shoulder, not even trying to keep his tear stains hidden anymore "I'm already burdening you Aira, you don't have t--" "shhhh, it's not a burden. We're supposed to share our problems to help each other right? So is it a yes or a no?" Hesitantly, he agreed.

Initially, Aira only planned to sing Hiiro to sleep or to watch movies with him but, that all changed after he tried to wipe the remains of his tears from his face. He gently swiped the stains when the red-head giggled so suddenly, not even realizing he did so. The blonde's face immediately lit up as he found a way to lift his spirits even better than before. "Hiiro-kun, could you lie down for me?" Aira requests, making the other confused but he follows anyway, laying down on the bed as he waited for what his friend had in store for him. He adjusted his position and lifted Hiiro's head to lay on his lap instead. "I'll do it gently I promise!" He cheered, making him even more confused than he was beforehand. "Gently? What do you- eeEE!?" The taller one squeaked and scrunched his shoulders as Aira wormed his hands to tickle him on his neck. "Ahahahaha...! Ahahaira...!" Hiiro scrunched his nose up and squeezed his eyes shut, clamping his arms to his sides to prevent him from accidentally hitting his partner. "Ehehe~! You're smiling again! I'm so glad you're ticklish this is such a piece of cake!" He wasn't embarrassed but for some reason that comment just made Hiiro felt so shy that he started blushing...! "B-Buhut-! Ehehehe...!" "Ah, ah, ah! No ifs, ands, or buts! This is going to be my way of cheering you up right now!" "iHihiT tihihihickles alohohot...!"

Soon, Aira got bored of that spot after tickling his neck only for a couple of minutes and decided to give Hiiro a break before moving spots. "Eheheheehe...! I- Are you dohone...?" The red-head asked, opening one eye and peeking up and Aira's determined face. "No, but I am thinking about where to go next...! Where are you ticklish, Hiiro?" He asked without hesitation, making the other stutter a bit from the question. He was only used to tickle fights with his brother and nobody else, so this new approach felt so weird in a good way. However, it did feel more embarrassing with this direct approach. He was always like this, but why feel so hesitant now...! Suddenly, Hiiro snapped out of his small trance when he felt a poke to his rib "Eek-!" "Ah, I was asking you a question and you didn't answer! So where are you sensitive?". He couldn't not answer him and closed his eyes shyly "M-My stomach...and.." Hiiro stopped midway out of embarrassment, making Aira chuckle and shift positions to sit on his waist instead "okay I'll just find your spots myself! Prepare yourself, Hiiro-kun!" He lifted the other's shirt, and then skittered his fingers gently around his stomach, making him squeal and suck air in "AHAHAhahahaha...! Ahairahaha-!" The red-head was doing his best to not squirm alot but couldn't help but pound his fist on the bed a bit while using the other to cover his mouth. "Hey don't cover up your smile! I rarely see this side of you Hiiro-kun! Let me see it please!"

The older one shook his head, shutting his eyes closed as more embarrassing noises came out of him. The other one huffed his cheeks and decided to blow a quick raspberry on his stomach, making Hiiro jump in response "ACK-- AHAHAhaha-! That's unfahahair!" He said, removing his hands from his face and opted to grab Aira's hands with no avail. "Much better!" He said, tickling him even more now that his smile was now visible. It was so...bright. It was so bright that even he started smiling himself. Aira couldn't help but soften his own expression seeing his friend's genuine smile plastered on his face. How could something or someone want to ruin this smile...? It was so contagious! Aira swore that he'd somehow find a way to see this all the time but he had more important matters at hand. He didn't want to overwhelm Hiiro with tickles since this was just for comfort, but he also wanted to end it in a more exciting way to keep him giggling even after it's done.

He leaned closer towards Hiiro's neck, not stopping his gentle stomach tickles and buried himself on his shoulder, earning another squeal and more incoherent noises. "EHEHEEK-! WAHAHhahahahaha-! Noho-!" "Yes, Hiiro-kun! This is the only way to cheer you up!" He said and began to nuzzle his neck while tormenting his stomach at the same time. The red-head had the biggest smile on his face as his eyes were shut closed and his hair was all over the place! It was so cute and refreshing after his small frame of depression. Aira lost track of how long he tickled him but it ended up surprising him as Hiiro suddenly gained a new noise. "Ahahahairahaha-!! iHihiT tihihick- -hic!- hihihickles! NOhoho...!!" "You're hiccuping! That's so cute!" "Nohoho-! I- -hic!- I cahahan't!" And just like that, Aira stopped. He helped Hiiro sit up and rubbed his belly to get rid of the ghost tickles. After a while he got up to get him a glass of water to drink and took care of him after.

"Sorry for tormenting you, Hiiro-kun. But I hope that lifted some weight off your shoulders...! "

"Ehehe...thank you, A-Aira."

They didn't discuss anything right after. Only pure silence filled the dorm, not from awkwardness, but from comfort. Hiiro didn't want to talk about anything just after as the atmosphere had brightened so much from that. They both just sat and relaxed with each other's company, content with where they are right now. They're both pleased to have each other.

A/N: I did not sleep the previous day because Hiiro's big brother made me cry. /hj

But I needed some comfort right now so I wrote this...! But I hope that it somehow makes you guys comfortable too...

[rodivi]

Forgotten Curse: Sukuna x Curse! Reader: Chapter 19:

"Are the containers all set over there?" The curse asks Gojo who is crouching down, hyper focused on the mechanism of the contraption.

"How do you know this will work?" Gojo lifts his gaze and turns his head toward her.

"I don't know if the mechanism will work properly. But! I do know science won't fail me." She splays her fingers against her chest and tilts her nose up in confidence.

Gojo shakes his head all the while his lip curves upward. "Then what about the spikes? Won't it take too long to make so many of them for each trap?"

The curse jumps up from the giant hole she made and stares down at him from above. "Has my digging not proved that we can make it in time?"

"How did you learn how to dig that fast anyway?" Gojo pushes himself up and wipes off any dirt from his pants.

"Well, let's just say I'm fond of building sand fortresses." She turns her back to the hole and inspects her work from every angle. Making sure to go back and forth to each hole not checked yet.

"Don't you mean sand castles?" Gojo says while somehow rock-climbing out of the abomination of a pit trap they have both created.

"No, I mean fortresses. With one tiny shovel I made moats to survive hours from the torment of waves within the hour." Her eyes narrowed and she peered up at the moon basking in the nostalgia of the beachy memory. A silent 'heh' came out at her glory only she knew of.

Gojo waited for her to say more but that was all there was the memory. It was a fleeting moment. "Then are you fond of beaches?"

A long silence dwelled between the two before she took a breath to respond. "This isn't the time to be dwelling on the past. We don't have much time left until the festival. Do you know how Itadori's training has been coming along?"

"There hasn't been much progress he has only been dealing with missions suited to his skill level." Gojo combed his fingers through his hair which sprang back up into place as usual.

"I'd like to keep it that way...But we both know that isn't possible. At least with the knowledge I have I want to help lift some of that burden if only a little." The curse finds herself caught off guard by how tightly she is holding onto her clothes. She releases her vice-grip and mechanically repeats the motion of closing her hand into a fist and opening it back up again.

"One plan at a time. We may not have all the answers now. So, let's focus on making these traps the highest quality." Gojo wraps his arm around her shoulder pulling her in for a side hug.

Y/n freezes up from the action and out of reflex dips out of his hold in a spin pivot. "Too close." She mutters to herself.

"At least you'll be able to react in time during battle." Gojo gives a wide grin.

"I don't intend on getting friendly with you so put the idea out of your head." She says pointing to the next trap location on the map Gojo drew. "We have to make sure all of these are camouflaged well into the environment. Or enough that when in a rush it can't be avoided."

"I'm on it then." Gojo strolled off to collect the materials with a skip in his step.

"He must be planning on slacking off or doing something else." The curse rubbed her forehead trying to make sense of this whole situation. Her heartbeat was suffocating her when she was reminded there was less than a week left until the festival.

***

“How long do you plan on ignoring me for?” Sukuna asked again for the umpteenth time. His eye twitched from the lack of response.

“I’m so bored.” He sighed and leaned against his throne staring at the gaping hole connecting their domains. He imagined if he stared long enough, she might materialize out of thin air from his willpower alone. But of course, nothing happened.

“She uses me to get stronger and then leaves. Just when I was starting to…” He stopped himself and got angrier at the thought. “I really want to wring someone neck out.” His expression darkened and he had an itch to kill. The tension from the anger only made it worse as there was nothing to take out his rage on.

Then a good idea popped into his head, “Perfect.” He said laughing to himself with a mischievous smile. “How could I not realize such a good idea sooner.” He praised himself for the idea and made his way to her domain.

“Should I do some damage then?” His face made the simplest expression of the darkest happiness. Sukuna was ready with cursed energy in hand and aimed to melt the crystalline cavern when she appeared.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Ah, do you think you can speak to me that way?” Sukuna launched an arrow made of cursed energy at the icicles thinking of it as target practice. The arrow was met with a wave of liquid nitrogen which soaked Sukuna in the process.

“How about you cool off?” Y/n said beaming all the while light bounced off her to make her appear almost ethereal.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Sukuna ran a hand through his frosted hair which was tamer than usual. He slicked it back moving the strands out of his line of sight. Some of the smaller strands were frozen in place making it stick up in certain places. When he finally brought his attention back to her, he realized she didn’t take her eyes off of him. “What?”

“Nothing, you just look different.” She said rubbing the back of her neck. Leaning away from him she covered her mouth and talked to herself in a hushed tone, “Elegant.”

“If you’re going to say something, say it…To. My. Face.” With each punctuated word he stepped closer to her without a second thought.

It wasn’t anything bad if that’s what you’re thinking.” She stayed facing away from him as he was no more than a footstep away from her.

“What are you planning?” Sukuna leaned up to her face to survey her facial expressions.

Her eyes flitted to his for not even a second and time itself froze.

“I’m making traps…” She dared not to finish when he was this close in proximity. She gulped from the distance trying not to remember the times when he killed her up close. Wavering in her confidence she shut her eyes and let her mind wander. Yet it made the situation worse when she heard his voice up close.

“What kind of traps?”

She cracked one of her eyes open to see Sukuna curious about what she was going to say next. Regaining her resolve she forced her mouth to form words, “Liquid nitrogen bombs with wooden spikes at the bottom of a pit.”

“Tell me more. Why are you making them now? For what purpose…” He took a step back and decided to circle around behind her.

She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. In spite of that she almost stopped breathing when Sukuna dragged a finger down her spine.

****A/N Happy Holidays everyone! Make sure to like and add to your library! You can find me on Tumblr, Wattpad, and AO3.

[ardenssolis]

@tenkoseiensei​ said (inbox):

' don't ---  come too close, '  he huffs, puffs and weakly coughs while the world feels to spin around him, a sit upwards wilting into a lay back down. when they passed through the frigid temperatures of dragonspine he must have caught something, his face and body burning in plain, feverish torment. still he crawls and staggers limply towards the wagon, struggling to lift himself into what space he would have done acrobatic flips and somersaults into on any other day. ' it's just ...  a little cold. '  avoidant of their gaze, he weakly grins for the other. the sense of his own uselessness and immediate personal failure tears any flimsy mirth into a frown. fear strikes him, even if an addled mind should have trusted otherwise; don't leave, don't go, don't abandon him with nothing on the side of the road at first sign of being a burden. despite shaking from the effort he manages to throw himself into his usual spot in the back. today there's no song, no music, no groan-worthy joke or rowdy enthusiasms for the merchant to feel besieged by. yan qing simply breathes, trying his best to continue reliably doing as much, a struggle in itself. how pitiful. he loathed this with a frustrated fury burning himself at both ends. ' it's nothing, really, but i'd still hate ...  for you to catch it. '

     IT WAS CLEAR TO anyone who had eyes that Yan Qing was sick. Ozymandias had been eyeing him for some time now, taking note of every attempt the other did at brushing aside the severity of their current…disposition. Even with the added clothing to cut out the cold of Dragonspine, that place was still a nightmare to go through for anyone regardless of how well-traveled they were. If anything, most people wouldn’t dare bother to touch that mountain with a ten foot pole. However, that was what made it a prime location for some of the rarest of items, and of course, Ozymandias being someone who liked to be a step ahead at all times, was never going to let such an opportunity slip past his fingers. He had just forgotten how utterly terrible it was. Even his poor ox was relieved to finally be free of that location. ❝A little cold…❞ This didn’t seem like a little cold! Yan Qing was dragging himself around like a dying animal! Clicking his tongue, he pushed himself off of the driver’s seat of his cart and made his way over to the back of the cart. If there were any protests, he would ignore them.

     Reaching out, he placed his hand atop the other’s forehead, frowning at the heat that met his skin like a hot furnace. ❝For how long were you going to just brush this aside? Nevermind. Do not answer.❞ There was no need for it. Yan Qing would have hid all this forever if he could, knowing him. ❝We have to get to the next location as soon as possible. I cannot have you on the road like this.❞ Thankfully, they weren’t too far from an outpost, at least. They could stop there and ask for boarding until moving on again. ❝Until then, you are to stay put and not move around. Make sure you get some rest.❞ Reaching over to his seat, he pulled out a flagon of water, gently placing it beside the other. He needed Yan Qing to stay hydrated. That was one of the most important things in regards to sickness no matter what it was. Food could wait for the time being, but water? Not so much. Had their roles been reversed, he would have heard no end to the other’s admonishment for the entire trip back to a town, city, or village.

     He’d save his own for later.

     ❝You wish for me to rely on you, do you not? It is only fair that you rely on me as well. Is that not what those who travel together should do? We only have each other, after all. Well…each other and an ox, but he is not much assistance.❞ A poor attempt at jest if anything, but if it managed to tug some kind of smile from Yan Qing, then that was all that really mattered no matter how atrocious it might have been. ❝So, lie down and relax, you stubborn fool.❞

[fox-buried-in-maple-leaves]

Trust & Vulnerability

“Hey, Vesper. Did you say the movies or the arcade, I forgot- whoa.” 

Alee could sense the other sorcerer’s inability to breathe, the loud gasping for air only put emphasis on their struggle. The smell of blood quickly overwhelmed his senses next, eyes dropping to Vesper’s forearms, covered in claw marks. “No no no no.. I forgot again. Shit mierda.. I’m going to die.” Their frenzied whispers almost didn’t make sense to him.

He was never good with people. And he was especially terrible with people who hurt. But this was.. His person. Not just someone he knew. “Hey hey, Vesper.” He approached slowly, he didn’t want to scare xem. Though, his quiet tone and cautious actions seemed to put xem off anyways, the sorcerer looking up with wide eyes and a pained expression.

Before Vesper could react, their reaction time slowed by the breakdown, Alee knelt down and grabbed his wrists, holding xyr hands away from xem. “Get away from me!” He flinched at the tone but remained steady, even as Vesper tried to pull their hands away. “I’m just going to hurt you, I’m a monster. All I do is hurt people.” Vesper’s voice broke his heart, xe sounded strained, and like he believed it.

“It’s okay.” Alee spoke quietly still, but confidently, like he had all the answers. Xyr wrists were so small, even in his hands. How hadn’t he seen it before? So many clues fell into place, pieces of a grander puzzle. “You’re not a monster, starlight. You’re just going through something. And I’m not going to leave you alone while you struggle.” Vesper’s struggling died down but didn’t completely stop. He didn’t enjoy restraining somebody during a meltdown, but he wasn’t fully sure what to do.

Their rapid apologies in Spanish and English fell on deaf ears, Alee’s grip loosening enough not to hurt them but remaining firm they couldn’t just yank away. He was gentle, first and foremost. "Look at me. I know it's hard, but look at me.” Vesper raised their head, mismatched eyes meeting his. And Alee smiled softly. “There you go... You're not alone, you don't have to be alone. You tell me this all the time. I'm here."

Alee healed the injuries to their arms without a second thought, warmth washing over their skin, it gave xem energy in a way. “You shouldn’t see me like this.” It was here Alee noticed just how much they’d been crying. “I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry. I’m such a burden..” It was still fresh, their love to one another. But Alee hated this. Despised seeing xem in so much pain. 

It didn’t feel fair.

They didn’t deserve this.

"Please... Do not apologize for this if you can help it. I care about you, I'd see you to hell and back, whatever the worst is, I'm here." Alee promised, and that tone.. Xe opened xyr mouth and then closed it. Their ears were flat, tail limp on the ground, the tears still fell, but at least they felt like they could breathe again. Small intakes of air, but air nonetheless.

“Th.. Thank… Mierda…” They couldn’t form the words, couldn’t get it out. Alee merely shushed them softly, bringing xem into his arms. Vesper leaned into his touch, resting their head on his shoulder. Alee himself wasn’t sure what to say, he didn’t want to assume.. But he held them as they cried, rocked xem back and forth softly. 

Time went by slowly. Until Vesper had run out of tears to cry.

“I guess I have to elaborate a little now.. Don’t I?”

Alee hummed, shaking his head, he then brought one of his hands up, running through Vesper’s loose and messy hair. Their face still buried in the crook of his neck. “You don’t have to tell me anything you aren’t comfortable with telling me, my star.” He turned his head a little, kissing the side of theirs. 

Vesper chuckled, but it held no real humour, more like xe had expected that sort of response from him. "What, and leave you completely in the dark after that? You don't deserve that, angel.” They lifted their head from him, opting to instead sit properly on the ground beside Alee. The fox sorcerer quickly followed suit rather than kneeling.

Xe leaned xyr head against his shoulder once more, Alee’s arm wrapping around their waist. Xe took a deep breath but it merely tapered off into a quiet sigh. “It’s anorexia.” They explained in a quiet tone, opting to just.. Go for it. "One of the last things my parents left me with: giving enough of a fuck to get me a diagnosis." Alee couldn’t blame xem for sounding mad.

Alee listened. Something he at least knew he was good at. He took their hand in his free one, interlacing their fingers and giving xyr hand a squeeze. A small reassurance. That he wasn’t going anywhere. "It's... been here for years. Don't know how many. Never knew how to get better. No one ever helped me with it, and I never reached out either. I... I don't deserve to heal. I'm not... I'm not worth the effort."

Vesper grew quiet as Alee thought over his words. "Excuse my insensitivity, but, darling. It breaks my heart that you think you aren't worthy of healing. You do deserve the effort. You do deserve to get better. And I'm... I'm not a doctor, but I promise I'll help how I can, wherever I can." His voice choked towards the end, tears forming in his eyes.

They paused hearing his promise, grip tightening on his hand. "... Thank you. Alee, th-thank you." Vesper whispered, turning more towards him as the tears started up again. Alee wasted very little time carefully tossing himself onto Vesper to properly hug xem. The cat sorcerer chuckled shakily, arms wrapping around their boyfriend.

He had his own secrets. And he’d share them. He would.. Just later. When things were less fresh. Vesper came first after all.

He hadn’t fully intended ‘later’ to be four days later, but eh.. What was a man to do?

With dinner in the oven, all that was left was to talk. Vesper sat at the kitchen table nursing a drink, watching the man hang up his apron on the little hook. “So is there a special occasion that I missed?” Xe teased, winking at Alee as the fox sorcerer sat down at the table. Alee rolled his eyes in response, resting his elbows on the table.

He dropped his elbow to the table, drumming his fingers on the surface as he looked around his apartment’s kitchen. His mouth felt dry. This was an incredibly hard conversation to have. It wasn’t like he had it often. Or ever.. Really. Even Cirino didn’t really know the extent of this particular problem. They weren’t close like that. 

Vesper raised an eyebrow, giving him their full attention. He leaned back in the chair, out of instinct he rubbed the marks on his left arm, hidden by his sleeve. He looked anywhere but at xem. "Since you revealed something large to me recently. I wanted to do the same and uhm." Alee swallowed thickly, taking a quick glance at Vesper who gave him a small smile.

Alee took a deep breath and then sighed, running his hand through his hair instead of rubbing his arm. He didn’t need to irritate the marks further. “I have what my ex calls an addictive personality.” He started slowly, looking away again. “You’ve seen the drinking, you know I gamble.” Vesper nodded and so did Alee. “Right. So..”

“That’s not it, is it?”

“Correct.” Alee shook his head, dropping his hand from his hair he clasped his hands together in his lap. He hid it well, hid it under the guise of other addictions, other problems. “I have a drug problem too. It’s gotten better than it used to be.” He hesitantly rolled up the sleeve on his left arm, just above his elbow. Dark veins, nasty scars, pallid skin.. “It’s not this.. Anymore. But…”

He tugged his sleeve down with a sigh, he didn’t want to look at Vesper’s face. He didn’t want to lose xem. But he knew. Drugs were a dealbreaker for a lot of people. Especially when the addiction caused such a money drain like his did. “That friend I mentioned I lost.. Well.. I decided after losing her to heroin maybe I’d uh try something else.”

Alee’s laugh was bitter. 

“Yeah, sucks the fun out of it.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged, leaning his chin on his hand, elbow on the table. “I won’t say I’m working on it. I’d be lying. But.. You know. Thought I’d tell you now rather than later since..” Alee forced a small smile on his face. He regretted doing this sober. “Can I have that? Cool, thank you.” He took the glass Vesper had set down in front of themself, downing the alcohol within before xe could react.

Alee stood up with the glass, intent on getting more. Not that it’d fully help, he’d need the whole bottle. But at least until he could get away long enough. “Alee.” Vesper stood as well, moving around the chair to gently grip Alee’s wrist. “Look at me.” They spoke softly, just like he had. Alee turned towards xem, a startled yelp escaping him when xe pulled him into xyr arms.

Vesper took the glass, setting it down on the table, he then hugged the man properly. “Thank you for telling me.” Xe kissed the top of his head, between his ears. Alee hesitantly brought his arms up, wrapping them around Vesper. “I knew something was going on.. Just not what.. And, I’m glad you trust me with it now.” 

“I love you, Vesper. I.. Trust you.” 

“I love you too, pretty fox.” Vesper loosened their grip so that Alee could pull away just enough to look up at them. “I’m here for you, too.” And it was Alee’s turn to tear up, the man sniffling and looking away. “Hey.. Hey it’s okay..” Xe let go, bringing their hands up to cup his cheeks to make him look at them. And then he kissed away his tears.

The oven beeped.

“My chicken!”

Vesper snorted, releasing his boyfriend who immediately ran to the oven, grabbing his oven mitts. They watched fondly, smile soft as xe sat back down at the table. Breathing was a whole lot easier now. This didn’t fix everything, how could it? But it made fixing it at least seem possible. And perhaps that was all either needed.

[venitdomum]

Anonymous asked: I have issues trying to point out my feelings for you. At times, it annoys me when you judge my harsh words as frustrations or even hatred. Hatred is the one feeling I won't have for you. You aren't a burden because if you were, I'd have no hesitation to kick you out. You already know I'm not afraid to express my indifference or dissatisfaction toward others. I am only strict with you just to help you find your capability to say no to others who will abuse your kindness. Sometimes you are foolish, you let others deceive you, you misjudge when someone actually cares, but it makes me want to continue helping you. If it means you'll stay around longer, then by all means. I have no intention of letting you go unless you want to move out. Bottom line is I don't hate you or find you as a burden. Don't believe the lies you've been told. If you want to know my feelings, they are the opposite of negative. I love you, Kaveh. And I always will.

anonymous note || accepting

It's not often notes are left for him. Truth be told, there's not many who would or at least would know where to leave it. Crimson eyes scan over each word carefully as he reads through the page. It's practically a letter, but with the signature left out rather than a note. It doesn't matter though. By the vocabulary and subject matter it's easy to tell it's from his roommate. He knows the other man has difficulty expressing how he feels, but it seems he has no trouble doing so in written form. Despite his flaws being pointed out to him, he's more focused on other parts of the letter.

You aren't a burden- want to continue helping you- you'll stay around longer- no intention of letting you go-

I love you, Kaveh. And I always will.

Archons above, he is such a cry baby. A few tears had fallen onto the paper, smudging the ink before he quickly wipes them away. But instead of tears of misery and pain, these ones are happy. A smile tugs at his lips as a small giggle is hiccupped between tears. His chest feels light and bubbly, the confession lifting a weight off him. They'll probably still bicker after this, but now he knows it's well intentioned.

"Al-Haitham, you idiot. You better tell me you love me in person next time," he mutters to himself, hugging the piece of paper to his chest.

[strangestcase]

ok it was about time I give you guys my honest opinions on the G3 designs (the cartoon ones) because it's such a mixed bag I really can't just say "it's good" or "it's bad"

CLAWDEEN- the design is super cute but it doesn't say "Clawdeen Wolf" to me. G1 and G2 Clawdeen was a fashionista and I don't like how it seems like G3 Clawdeen isn't. It takes away a lot of her personality, which was very watered down for the movie, so I hope her character arc in the show involves her gaining the confidence the OG Clawdeen was known for. Also the hair should be darker- that much purple feels distracting. Some touches of green wouldn't be bad, also. I love that she's Afrolatina, but hate that her skin is getting lightened left and right. All in all, I can say "good, but not good enough".

DRACULAURA- she's flawless. Ok, not really, but I like her. The new clothes are rather underwhelming compared to the G1 and G2 looks but they're still good. I love the addition of the hat, the split dye, and her being Filipino and plus size, but I miss the pigtails. I also feel like her personality, too, should be explored more in the show. The movie had her go from aloof to friendly and sweet as she opened up to Clawdeen and Frankie, and that was AMAZING. Final verdict: G1 and G2 Draculaura looked great but were a little grating; G3 Draculaura is more likable (to me) but her outfit doesn't go nearly as hard.

FRANKIE- personality and design wise? Frankie is the saving grace of the reboot. Making them a secondary protagonist allows the burden of being relatable to be lifted from their shoulders, and that's how Frankie really starts to shine. The same had happened in G2. Making Frankie a more "dorky nerd" type of character is a great choice. Also: trans! But dear god, I want to kick the Universal execs on the ribs- Frankie isn't the same without green skin, neck bolts, and a big ole square Frankenstein head. That's just... wrong. Still, the design is cute and the clothes are great, but the neons throw me off. Personally, I think Frankie works best with dark colors and goth fashions. So yay to the overall character, nay to the new outfit. It's not too bad, but it isn't something I'd make Frankie wear, at least... not all the time? I think some elements of the G3 outfit can easily be blended in with the G1 outfit, but they're so different, it just clashes.

DEUCE- I miss the red accents and the lack of sleeves, but other than that, Deuce's design really has come around. He's way more snakelike and has a more defined signature color. Plus the glasses not being opaque, while taking away some mystery to his eyes, really make him more expressive. And that jacket? Amazing. As for his personality- I think the movie was trying to develop Deuce as something more than Cleo's boyfriend, but somewhat failed. He's nowhere as punk as G1 Deuce, and a lot of things about him felt like the writers fumbling to make him "cute". I don't know; I hope the cartoon doesn't go that direction and instead allows him to develop in a more natural way.

CLEO- this is the one design that is all in all an improvement. Darker skin? Great. Lots of blue? Great. Golden accents? Great. The makeup? Great. The jewelry? Great. It's all great. My one gripe is that they've made her skin look weirdly metallic which.......... makes me a little scared, ngl. Please tell me it's body glitter. Dark skin Cleo but at what cost... Now as for her personality: I really do hope they don't take her down the same route as the movie in which she was just a mean girl with nothing much to her other than being snooty and eventually befriending Clawdeen. The OG Cleo had MEAT and BACKSTORY to her meanness. They better not leave that out in the cartoon.

HEATH- the design looks terrible, overall, but I'll say that 1) putting his skin on the orange side is a change for the better and 2) having his color palette have cooler tones is innovative. I certainly would not out it on his sweatshirt though. At least movie!Heath had a cohesive design, with mostly warm colors and his varsity jacket acting as balance. I can't say much about movie Heath's personality because, to make a story short, he didn't do much. He was implied to be a troublemaker, but he just showed up for a couple of scenes and that was it. I like that they will lean into exploring his temper but that would have fit Holt more... the same way Clawdeen's arc in the movie would have fit Holt more. Also I want to see how they spin the "son of Hades" thing, because I get the feeling it will be C.A. Cupid 2.0.

LAGOONA- it's been said before and I will say it again: the design is amazing, but it doesn't feel much like Lagoona. Which is strange, since from what little we saw of Lagoona's personality in the movie, she is going to be very much G1 Lagoona with a new coat of paint. Speaking of strange things, they made her be Colombian, as a nod to the original Creature of the Black Lagoon (her dad)- but her new design is more mermaid-ish? As for her clothes, they're great, though I would have gone for a different color, probably darker (the whole of G3 is in dire need of dark colors). Though the main change I'd make is making her skin aqua blue again. Or another shade of pink. This pink color is just wrong. Why not fuchsia? What's wrong with fuchsia?

TORALEI- I'm honestly wondering how they're going to make Toralei being a "conservative" monster work... but from her design, I deduce she'll just be the regular mean Toralei, just now with a hatred of humans sprinkled in. As for her family though? A mystery. Her design isn't bad, and I think it's the best one of them all along with Cleo's, with her new hair being cooler than G1's, but the outfit, while good, is still a downgrade. Purple and white don't work with her. She needs black and orange. And pants. For the love of god give her pants.

HEADLESS HEADMISTRESS- G3 headmistress was a step down from G1. Or a couple hundred steps down. Personality-wise. But design wise, this one is better. That's all I have to say. Love the axe earrings.

OVERALL OPINION: G3 designs aren't bad but they aren't good. Most of them are, while iconic, not THE iconic designs that made Monster High what it is. I don't hate them, but I don't really like them a lot. They need darker colors and edgier fashion. Some changes I consider improvements, but most of them are meh at best. In short: I don't like the reboot, in general, but I like enough things about it to be interested in seeing where it goes, particularly story-wise. There is still room for improvement and I think it would be a disservice to older fans to not listen to them.

[twstedstoryshop]

Hello can i have a headcannon of Cater,vil and leona in zombie apocalypse au and the reader is a doctor thanks!

Apocalypse scenarios honestly make me so sad, but it's definitely an interesting exercise to imagine the boys in. I don't think I'd have the heart to see any of them die or suffer too much though... Of course, tw for apocalypse scenario and zombie talk. -Shopkeep

Zombie Apocalypse AU with Cater, Vil, Leona and A Doctor MC

Hoooooo boy, okay. I don’t know how this man will cope with the idea of the world ending to the undead. Cater clings a lot to the personas he uses so when the chips are down, there’s no crowd to put on a face for, what’s the use of masks for anymore?

I think Cater would still use his great acting skills though to either keep a cold face on during serious situations or appear harmless to anyone who’d try to hurt him and his crew.

I would imagine during these trying times, the boys keep to their usual groups. Like, Cater would still be with Trey, Riddle, Ace, Deuce, and of course, you! He clings and protects his group with his LIFE.

He is a lot more protective of them and dreads the idea of losing any of them or you. Where he once pushed others away, now he can’t afford to lose any single life that’s connected to him.

Cater acts a bit cheery with them and cracks some jokes here and there to keep their minds off things. He does this especially with the younger ones like Ace and Deuce.

However whenever he is in the presence of you, I think Cater would shed everything to reveal his weary and fully in despair side. Though you may not be a doctor of the psychological kind, you have a good head on your shoulders and you try to be a shoulder for him to cry on.

It’s a lot of venting, a lot of close contact as Cater leans on you and you offer him tender hugs, and hearing some bleak talk. But can you really blame him in a situation like this?

Of course, this is not a one way street. Cater is very much looking out for you whenever Heartslabyul is out in the open, trekking from one area to the next, or gathering supplies. He’s the first to jump in to protect you. Not only as a dear companion, but you’re a vital member that can save the others’ lives if they aren’t bitten.

But have faith in the Heartslabyul gang. With all of them together, I’m sure you’ll find your patch of safety and wait for this nightmare to come to an end.

Vil I think would have the capability and charisma as a leader to gather a small following and create a stable community in order to support each other. However, he is very much critical in watching every member of his group. If one acts suspicious or is too selfish in their thinking, Vil is quick to mercilessly snuff them out.

As scary as he can be, Vil has to do this in order to keep his group stable and sufficient. Better to have strong-minded individuals who can look out for each other rather than weak links.

Vil has his more trusted circle of confidants being Rook, Epel, and you, the healer. He often asks the three of you for your council on crucial decisions.

Sometimes he often comes to you for help on ways to help him sleep better instead of being awake at ungodly hours. “I’d prescribe you sleep medicine, but it’s slim pickings. We can always do the tried and true method of literally knocking you out.” A bit of grim humor never hurt no one.

He chuckles. “Please, don’t ruin my face further. I already look dreadful with the circles under my eyes and how translucent my skin has gotten. I look like a ghost.” “I’d take ghosts over zombies any day. Plus you make for a very beautiful ghost.” “Hmph, flattery can only do so much for you, doctor.”

Vil puts on a strong front, but you and his other trusted people know how tired and stressed he can get. You all try hard to lift the burden off his shoulders when you can and keep things running smoothly. Vil works so incredibly hard to keep his people safe so it’s the least you can do to make sure Vil’s community is perfect.

Very much the guy that’d prefer to work alone and truly believes in survival of the fittest. If you can’t pull your weight in surviving in the apocalypse, you might as well be zombie chow. He has a very small group consisting of him, Ruggie, Jack, and you.

But… He has a very secret and special member of his ragtag team only you and the other boys knows of. It’s little Cheka he protects tooth and claw for. He cannot trust anyone else outside of his group to know of Cheka.

He fears deeply that if any rival group hears about Cheka, someone will use Cheka as leverage against him and he would go feral over that.

Leona can get pretty demanding and tough on you, Ruggie and Jack while you are out looking for supplies and trying to survive. But he’ll definitely ensure all of your safety with his survival skills. He’s rough, but if you really squint, you can see that he cares for his group through his actions

Often the first to keep getting injured when fending off zombies or other selfish survivors. Has never been bitten though, thankfully. You’re always tending to him first and it truly feels like you’re tending to a wounded beast sometimes. He looks so tired, physically and mentally.

You know he hasn’t been sleeping well either. You’ve seen him stay up at ungodly hours, rubbing gently on Cheka’s back while the kid mumbles in his sleep. You can only imagine why it’s only him and Cheka now. The distant gaze he has in his dull green eyes say a lot.

You quietly slip your hand in his after bandaging his bloodied palm. You grasp his calloused hand firmly, a silent comfort, and you were surprised that he held your hand back tightly. His hold trembled slightly, but the grip alone showed that he wasn’t going to let you or anyone go anytime soon…

[darkkitty1208]

Heyy! I love your blog, It really helps me when I'm sad, so thank you! I was wondering, how do you think Stephen felt and is feeling with Tony's death? Considering that ironstrange is canon (at least for me haha). Thank you very much!

Aww thank you! I'm glad you enjoy my blog as much as I enjoy having it :) Your statement made me smile! <3

Now, in regards to the question. A little disclaimer: whatever I write here may be heavily influenced by many fics. And, seeing as this is an open-ended question, my opinions/views may differ from someone else's, and if that's true, I'm open to discuss ;)

I've also answered an ask a while back that was talking about Stephen's (predictably, one-sided) feelings towards Tony during Endgame, and I've just assumed that (due to the millions of timelines he endured/looked through), he fell in love with every version of Tony there is, with how selfless the man is, etc. (We consider that canon here btw) And I think last time anon asked specifically about Stephen's feelings when he lifted his finger to Tony in the movie, which was hella sad tbh, for us IronStrange shippers at least :p (You can check out that specific ask here)

And ofc, right after those few moments, Marvel decided to kill Tony off (the AUDACITY). And I'm sure, in this case, not only Stephen was affected by his death; that includes Pepper, Peter, the rest of the avengers, too. Everyone basically :v But, one thing I'd just like to point out, is that he actually expected it. He looked through those million timelines, and he knew that this was the only outcome that requires the least damage (even if that damage comes in the form of Tony's death T-T). And, if I were to put myself in Steph's shoes, like any of us, I'd feel guilty. And I know he does, too. Even if it isn't exactly his fault (he had no other choice, anyway). And it's even sadder when you remember that he also blames himself for Donna's death, so it must've felt like history repeated itself from his side.

Handling with grief is horrible, it could do so much to a person, to the point that it may become too.... dangerous, sometimes (if how Marvel pictures grief in WandaVision is anything to go by. Kidnapping/enslaving a whole town is, btw, very very wrong, but that's a discussion for another time). But handling grief and guilt is an entirely different thing. The thought of knowing that someone's death was caused by you, someone's life was gone because of you, that burden may never cease from his shoulders. Even the very thought of it is horrifying, I couldn't imagine having to endure it.

And I know that, as a sorcerer, Stephen has duties he needs to fulfill (even if he isn't sorcerer supreme anymore), so he knew he had to survive. And what I mean by this is that, he knew the world still needed him, reality still needed saving, however broken he may be. (Gives a new definition to 'It's not about you', eh?) And though he knew his existence is the reason those two people have gone, the thought of not existing in the first place isn't a better thought, either. So he survived. He endured. He persisted. And that's just.... it's just sad. The once arrogant and big-headed man (still is, actually, but not as bad) is now (quite discreetly) very selfless. And I say 'selfless' because we all know he's done a lot of sacrifices. (Dormammu, using the time stone and meddling with laws of nature, manipulating time, whatever shit he did for Peter in NWH, you mention it.) And in this case, one of his sacrifices is having to endure the guilt of choosing the right timeline. The timeline where the snap, soon followed by the blip, happened, and then leading to so much deaths, and the inevitable climax of Tony's. And I know Steph blames himself for every part of it. The trauma, the grief, the lost time, the deaths, everything. He blames himself for it.

So, if you'd ask me, how would he deal with it? How would he cope? He doesn't. He doesn't because he doesn't have time for it (though he may be a little lost on the concept of time by now), what with all the stuff he needs to do as sorcerer, probably. The world, the reality, depended (and is depending) on him. And it's too much to risk for something like grief, coping, healing, or any of the such.

Which is why, I think, he must've been surprised when Peter, the boy that had to endure all the wrong things he did, came to his sanctum, to him, for help. So, of course, without hesitation, he had accepted. He had provided. Even if that meant all the... stuff that happened in NWH. (wince)

So yeah, that covers pretty much it. Wew, this became a bit of a rant, did it? I guess I'll stop this here.

Thanks for the ask! I hope this answers your question!