#at the chance to talk about my weird little girl area of interest

[dwaekkicidal]

Sharing is Caring [3: HyunLix]

˚ʚHyunLix x fem!Readerɞ˚

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ summary: Hyunjin and Felix take after their leader, using their way to push your body just far enough past its limit.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ word count: 4.4k

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ warnings: fem!reader, mxm mentions before the 1st divider, ot8 x reader mentions, chris x reader fluff in the very beginning, 'baby girl' and 'princess' used (1) time each, threesome, rough sex, mentions of chan/chris x reader and filming+sharing the video, hard(?)dom hyunjin, soft dom lix, overstimulation, filming, fingering, squirting, yellow from the light system is called (1) time, p in v (be safe about it irl), oral (f and Hyun receiving), spanking, slight aftercare mentions, that should be all?

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ notes: we dont talk about how late this is lol. Also sorry if the plot parts seem rushed >< I didn’t know what else to fluff it up with but there was already so many words so i left it as is lol

Sharing is Caring Masterlist

DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!

Chris’ hands roam up and down your back as the two of you lay on the couch in his dorm, you settled between his legs and draped lazily over his torso. His chin pokes at the top of your head as he strains himself slightly to look down, eyes sparkling with nothing but admiration and love. You stare up with a similar expression, a small smile taking over your features as the TV show is long forgotten.

“I’ve missed this.” His voice comes out hushed and quiet as he tries to keep this moment private, not taking even the slightest chance to wake up his roommates. It was super late into the night, past 2 am if you had to guess, and this was the first time in weeks he had gotten alone time with you.

You smile a little wider and nod, resting your cheek near his shoulder as a hand comes up to rest on his cheek. “It has been a while. The boys have been throwing me between each other so I haven’t had any alone time with you. Let alone one on one time with the others-'' He laughs before quieting himself again, “Yeah… They really have.”

A comfortable silence fills between you two for a while after that until you notice that Chris is making a weird face, a cute one though. It’s the face he makes when he’s thinking about something really hard so you poke him a few times, tickling him in an attempt to get an explanation out of him. He smiles at you again and thinks to himself as if he is trying to find the right words. “How do you think I should go about trying to sleep with one of the other boys?” The question makes you perk up and you stare at him with wide eyes.

“Sleep as in… have sex with?” You laugh lightly before laying back down against his chest. “Is this about Han?” He bites his lip and looks up at the ceiling. “Yes and no? Uh… basically that first night we opened up the relationship, Han told me that he messes around with Felix sometimes. I’ve always been interested in Lix, but it's gotten worse lately. I just don’t know how to go about it…”

You massage his ear as you get lost in thought, tenderly rubbing the area there in an attempt to calm his nerves. “I mean… realistically, you could just be honest with him. I mean, this is Felix we’re talking about. I don’t think you could offend him or cross a line with him even if you tried.” He chuckles and rolls his eyes.

“If it would make you feel better, I can tell him that you want to talk about something and get the two of you some alone time. I can even distract the boys for you if you need it.” You both laugh and he nods in agreement.

He deems it bedtime not long after that, helping you to your feet before joining you on the short journey to his bedroom. Already being in your pajamas, you just throw yourself on his mattress and groan when he throws himself on top of you. Some giggles are exchanged before he normally lays on his back and pulls you into his chest, smiling to himself as you nod off.

“Good night, baby girl. I love you.”

It was around noon the next day when you woke up. You were used to the feeling of the bed being empty thanks to Chris’ tendency to leave early and head to the studio with the other two producers. However, today was a little different thanks to an unknown figure who throws themself on the bed behind you, wrapping their arms around you and whispering a deep “Good morning.”

Hyunjin walks into your vision and smiles sweetly, laying down in front of you and snuggling close to you. He shoves his face into your neck and places tickling kisses there as you come to your senses. Felix pokes his head out from behind you and pulls you to lay on your back before assaulting your face with kisses, causing you to smile and wiggle between the two of them. 

After a while of cuddling and sleepy kisses, the three of you eventually get up in order to get some food in your stomachs. As you all ate, Felix explained that everybody else was busy doing their own things and he was lonely in the other dorm, so he came over to spend some time with you and Hyunjin. Then, once everybody ate, Hyunjin dragged you out to the living room to hang out with them despite your pleas to go back to bed and nap, which is how you all ended up cuddling on the couch watching Felix play Tekken (and losing miserably).

The boys sometimes snuck you kisses between rounds, conversing with each other and updating you about the newest songs or choreos as well as any promotions you were unaware of. You could tell something else was on their minds though. Between matches Felix would nervously bite his lip and try to sneak his hand to his neck, checking the pulse while he and Hyunjin exchanged weird faces at each other. You ignored it at first, but once Hyunjin started fidgeting from his spot beside you, you finally made them spit it out.

Now… Both men were aware of how you could squirt. Hell, the whole group was! They all witnessed it themselves when a 3-minute video was sent to the group chat a week ago: the video containing your lower half with Chris’ fingers shoved deep into your cunt that spewed a waterfall towards him and his phone’s lens. They all admitted how insanely hot it was, but ultimately moved on from it and hadn’t brought it up again. These two, however, just could not get it out of their heads. More so, they wondered if they could get you to that point and wanted to experiment.

And that is unfortunately how you found yourself in your current situation. An hour later with both men on each end of you; Felix sitting up on his knees with your head in his lap and Hyunjin between your legs, holding them open as he ate you out like it was the last meal he would get his hands on. They had spent the first 30 minutes or so minutes on foreplay, riling you up in all your favorite ways before you were even given the chance to undress. And since then, they managed to pull multiple orgasms from your body in this same position. They insisted on making you squirt their way instead of Chris’; meaning they slowly relaxed you and your body with foreplay for as long as they desired before using meticulous movements to overwhelm you. 

“You can do it, love. You gotta make a mess for us so we can fuck you.” The deep voice in your ear pulls you back down to earth and you shiver in his hold when his fingers return to your nipples like they had before your last orgasm hit. You can only nuzzle your cheek further into his thigh, letting out pathetic moans as the onslaught between your legs continues. Hyunjin never once pulled away from you, instead mumbling his response against your clit while his fingers hooked themselves inside of you.

They could tell you were close again and they worked harder, desperately wanting to see you squirt with their own eyes, not through the pixels of their phones. You knew yourself that you were almost to that point, you could feel it in your bones, but you also weren’t used to the gentleness of things. Chris always bullied his fingers in you aggressively, though extremely pleasurable at the same time, so you needed a little something else to push you over the edge. And, somehow, the younger of the two was already way ahead of you.

One of his hands was removed from your chest and in the corner of your blurry eyes, you could see him reach for a thin black object. The sudden bell-like sound of a recording beginning was played right next to your ear. You blinked away the blurriness in your eyes and watched as Felix panned his phone down to Hyunjin’s face, zoning in on the tongue licking shapes into your clit. He then moved the phone right under your face and zoomed in, letting you get an enhanced sight of the boy between your thighs and making you moan loudly.

Your eyelids tried to flutter shut but you held them open, desperate to watch the enhanced image of your beautiful boyfriend’s face that was glistening from your juices. Hyunjin caught on fast and tried to rile you up more, teasingly staring straight into the camera lens and licking a long and rough line along your clit. You even got a short glimpse of his tongue literally dripping from your cum as he pulled away to reposition his tongue inside of you.

Felix takes the chance to remove his free hand from your chest and reach forward, rubbing his fingers messily around your clit. It was all too much. Felix’s phone pointing at you as he humps the air by your head and occasionally pinches your clit mixed with Hyunjin’s long fingers bullying against your g-spot all while his tongue curves at the very entrance of your cunt and while he stares up at you intensely has you overwhelmed in all the right ways.

Your head is thrown back as you moan pathetically at the feeling of you gushing. Your legs desperately try to close around Hyunjin’s head, but Felix removes the hand on your clit and drops the phone on the bed to wrap his hands around the underside of your knees, holding them to your chest and giving Hyunjin the freedom to continue bullying your cunt.

With your head thrown back against Felix’s thigh, you don’t get to watch as Hyunjin backs away slightly, moving the hand that was resting on your thigh to rub roughly against your clit in order to pull more from you as his shirt gets completely soaked. While he does this, his long fingers continue to curve upwards and dig into your G-spot.

"F-Fuck! Wait!!" You moan out a cry and shoot your arms down to push his hands away, only for his now-soaked hand to come up and take hold of both of your wrists. They hold you tightly like this, keeping you in place as they push your body’s limits. What feels like hours of begging passes before you genuinely feel like you’re gonna pass out. The amount of wetness that falls from you has lessened more and more as they continue, but it hasn’t completely stopped so you knew they would have kept going.

“O-Okay, okay! No more, p-please- Yellow!" In an instant, Hyunjin’s hands stop their movements and Felix loosens his hold on your legs, finally allowing them to slam shut as the aftershocks take over your body. Felix’s hands move up to your head, where he strokes your cheeks and coos at you. He lays down beside you and kisses your forehead, whispering sweet nothings in your ears as you come down.

“Haha.. you okay, pretty?” Hyunjin’s hands rest on your calves, soothingly rubbing the area there as he waits patiently for an answer.

“You… You guys are fucking d-demons…” you gasp out with shaky breaths. “Even Chris didn’t try to push it for that long.” Felix giggles, pulling away from your ear to nuzzle his nose against your cheek. “We gotta prepare you, baby. I know Seungmin really liked seeing you squirt. ‘Said he was gonna learn from Channie how to do it fast so he can do it to you himself.”

Hyunjin leans forward and places soft kisses on your calves, “It’s better that we got to you before he did. You know how he is.” Instantly images of your past experiences with the boy in question flood your mind, and you clench at the thought of his mean-ass in Hyunjin’s place. 

“Fuck.. Don’t tell me that... That’s so hot.” They both chuckle and continue to dote on you, even long after your body has calmed down and your breaths returned.

“You gonna let us fuck you now, baby?” Your eyes snap open at the deep whisper in your ear. You glance down and watch as Hyunjin silently studies your lower half, now shirtless and taking in every little detail as if he wanted to paint you. Hell. He probably is going to. Felix’s hands rub up and down your tummy as a silent reminder that he asked a question. “Mhm.”

“Gonna let me take care of you?” Hyunjin’s damp fingers draw shapes into your thigh with your release, trailing some of it to your hole where he dips a finger in experimentally. You whine in agreement and allow Hyunjin to flip you over, landing you on your knees as he pulls you up against his chest. You smile and lean back, relishing in the warmth he gives off. His hand reaches up and tilts your head sideways, allowing him to lock lips with you. He smiles into the kiss and his hands roam all over your body, occasionally stopping at your hips to give your ass a good squeeze.

He pulls away slightly and speaks while his lips ghost yours, “Ready, Princess?” You whine out an “mhm” and he slides his dick through your folds, pushing in after the 3rd swipe. Moans fill the room from both of you at the feeling of him pushing in and stretching your walls farther than their fingers. He pushes his lips against yours again, pushing a few more inches in before stopping to let you adjust. It doesn’t take long, thanks to their onslaught earlier, and he easily finds a comfortable pace to start with.

Though, that one is quickly thrown out the window when your walls start to wrap around his dick tightly. Out of nowhere his right hand pushes against your back, shoving you forward so you’re on your hands and knees as he speeds up. Your arms wobble as he continues to fuck you, and you end up completely missing the dip in the bed in front of you. It’s not until Hyunjin’s big hand wraps into your hair and angles your head backward that you notice the pretty boy sitting in front of you.

It’s an uncomfortable angle, but Felix quickly distracts you by pushing his lips against yours. His right hand lovingly settles on your cheek as Hyunjin fucks into you, getting rougher with each passing second. Eventually, Felix pulls away, settling against the headboard again as he strokes himself sluggishly to the sight of you getting fucked.

Once he’s sat, Hyunjin takes the chance to go even deeper, now pushing your face into the sheets as he pounds into you roughly. Your hands clench the sheets and try to push your torso back up only for him to grab your arms and hold you down. His hands position on your upper arms and he uses some of his body weight to hold you down, keeping you still for him as he continues to fuck you open.

He goes deeper at this angle, faintly pushing against your cervix while simultaneously ramming into your G-spot. And when he’s fucking you this good, barely giving you time to think, your orgasm sneaks up on you all too easily. Tears fall from your eyes against he sheets and your legs shake as he drags another orgasm through your body. Your moans become choked as he continues to hold you down. He feels you cum around him and, thankfully for you, the clenching around him was all he needed to finish.

Your tight walls milk him dry as he rides his own orgasm, using you like a fleshlight while he does so. He moans loudly and thrusts sharply a few more times before slowly pulling out. Your body reacts with an aggressive shiver and he giggles, placing a kiss on your ass as his fingers try to soothe your arm in case he was too rough.

You’re thankful for it and it feels great, though it leaves your mind soon after due to how watery your brain has become. All the orgasms have started to catch up to you and your whole body feels like mush. You’re nothing more than a blob melted into the sheets as your boyfriends’ hands run all over your body. The only slightly grounding thing that pulls your mind back to earth is the deep voice that rings in your ears.

“How are you, baby? Talk to me.” You look up to see Felix hovering over you, face scrunched in concern. You chuckle at the sight of your boyfriend and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down into you and placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “‘M good, I promise. My body jus’ feels like putty right now.” You giggle again and he finally relaxes, leaning forward to place kisses along the tear streaks on your cheeks. 

Despite the sweet moment you share with your boyfriend, your worn-out body craves for more. One of your hands unwraps from his neck and rakes down his back, digging your nails into the skin there playfully. Then, the hand still around his neck wraps into his hair and tugs it lightly. He moans into the kiss and unintentionally bucks his hips against yours, growling as he pulls away. “Baby…”

You hold back a laugh and peck his lips, pushing him over and flipping your positions so that you’re straddling his hips. His still-hard cock is sitting directly under your crotch and you teasingly grind against it. He sighs happily and his eyes flutter shut for a moment and his hands reach out to grab your hips tightly.

“Can I ride you, Lixie?” His eyes snap open and he nods desperately. He dives a hand between you and grabs his base, angling himself upwards as you lift your hips. His other hand rests on your hip tightly and, once his tip pokes at your entrance, he pulls you back down into him. The slide makes you whine, still overly sensitive. But you’ll be damned if you’re not getting both men tonight.

Both of his hands rest on your hips, drawing circles into your skin there as you take deep breaths. You sit there for a while it seems because before you have time to adjust fully, a harsh slap is sent to your ass. You were caught off guard, not expecting such a powerful hit from the boy below you who tended to be softer with you. But then, you’re reminded that your other boyfriend was still in the room. The older man lands another smack, unhappy with your still unmoving form.

“What happened to wanting to ride him, Princess?” He wraps a hand around your torso, angling it up to wrap around your neck as his other rests just above Felix’s on your hip. He uses the grip there to start moving you, bouncing you up and down, albeit slowly at first. But you both know Felix doesn’t mind. Especially not when he has such a big smirk painted on his face.

Hyunjin continues fucking you up and down on top of Felix, occasionally squeezing your neck until you start to move on your own. Then he lets you go completely, causing you to fall forward and just barely catch yourself with your hands on either side of Felix’s head. You lose your rhythm for a moment, only for Felix to thrust up into you roughly as if to remind you what you should be doing.

His hands move down to your ass as you begin to ride him again, this time desperately chasing his orgasm as yours builds up fast again. You purposefully clench around him from time to time, thriving off the way he moans loudly and twitches at the feeling. Before you realize it, Hyunjin is kneeling beside you, pumping himself and looking at you with the sexiest smile ever.

However, you only get to admire it for a moment before his hand creates a makeshift ponytail in your hair and pulls you towards him. The new angle forces you to stretch a little and causes your hips to stop moving. They’ve pushed your body through so much in the last couple of hours, so you can’t help but lose focus all too easily. You can’t multitask and take care of them as much as you wish you could. So, you instead focus on sucking Hyunjin off and only grind your hips slowly against the man below you.

Felix whines, sighing loudly before lifting your hips a few inches. You’re not given any time to react before he plants his feet in the bed and starts to fuck up into you roughly. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and your jaw manages to drop further. Hyunjin laughs, the push and pull between the two men becoming more entertaining for him than anything else. He decides it’s his turn now and tightens the grip on your hair, thrusting his hips slightly each time he shoves you down, making you deepthroat him and choke around his dick.

You sit still, pliant even, as you let both men use you as they wish. You’re so close and you trail a hand between your legs, amidst all the bullying your cunt is receiving, and rub your clit back and forth. You moan loudly around Hyunjin as you cum, your orgasm crashing down on you just as intensely as the other ones. Felix’s hips falter due to your persistent clenching catching him off guard. His hips slow to a complete stop as he revels in the feeling of your walls fluttering around his dick.

And, thankfully for you, Hyunjin finishes soon after you do., the vibrations from your moans sending him over the edge. He watches with furrowed eyebrows and parted lips as you swallow around him and his teeth catch his lip as he pulls you off, whimpering slightly at the way you suck harshly to get every last drop. His legs twitch when you especially suck his tip hard, and he huffs out a laugh.

“Can’t go one day without being a troublemaker, huh?” He laughs and places a kiss on your forehead before backing away, allowing the younger to chase his own orgasm. He disappears after that and, had you been paying close enough attention, you would have noticed the sound of the bathroom door opening.

But you can’t be bothered by that. Not when Felix is pulling out and flipping the two of you again. He shoves you onto your back, pushing your legs up and to the side. One arm rests on his forearm by your head as the other positions his dick again. Your eyes lock with his as he pushes in again, moans falling from both of your lips as he sets a fast pace right away.

The eye contact is held as he pummels into you. His eyes break away from yours for a moment as he leans forward and pushes his chest against yours. Messy kisses are placed along your jaw as his thrusts become sloppy.

You thought the previous orgasm was your last, but when Felix drags so nicely against your walls and shoves his tip so meanly into your already bruised G-Spot, another one sneaks up on you. Your eyes snap closed and your legs try to close around his torso as you squirt again, this time soaking your other boyfriend’s stomach.

The sheer pressure coming from your cunt forces him out of you and he only laughs, pulling away from you as he watches you gush. He holds one of your legs open as he jerks himself off, using the new wetness as a lubricant. He finishes on your stomach soon after, voice jumping back and forth between deep groans and high-pitched moans as he milks himself dry at the sight of you.

You both sit there, chests heaving and heavy breaths filling the room. His eyes rake up and down your body as he catches his breath, his hands mindlessly rubbing up and down your sides as he tries to help you calm down. Your eyes meet and he smiles widely, eyes crinkling at the corners as he giggles at you.

“You did so well, baby. I can’t believe you did it a second time…” He giggles and crawls over you, hovering over you as he pushes his lips onto yours. “Lixie…” You whine against his lips and wrap your arms around his neck. He pulls away and pushes his lips against your jaw once more, “No more, Honey. Time to clean up, okay?”

Hyunjin’s voice suddenly comes from the bathroom, in a very dramatic ‘over the intercom’ voice. “Baby 1 and Baby 2, if you could please make your way to the shower so I can give you some lovin?” You and Felix laugh at the same time and you continue to lay in your spot, even after Felix has stood on his feet. He drags you by your ankle to the edge of the table and, despite your groans and whines, pulls you to stand with him.

The two of you wobble over to the bathroom where Hyunjin is standing in the shower. He smiles and curls his finger, gesturing to both of you to join him under the steaming water. Felix taps your ass playfully, sending you stumbling forward. Both men laugh as you stick your tongue out at the younger and speed-walk your way to Hyunjin.

The three of you squeezed into the shower and, thanks to the newer dorms, the shower is big enough to comfortably accommodate you all. They take turns washing you off and you help them wash each other off while some soft kisses and tender caresses are exchanged in the cooling water.

Your body is still shaky by the time you’re fully dressed and tangled in the new sheets with both your lovers. You’re sandwiched between them, covered by the fluffy comforter, and basking in the warmth of their bodies that are tangled with yours. Hyunjin is the first to fall asleep, cheek squished against your chest as you lay on your side facing him. Felix is behind you, one arm holding his head up and the other rubbing your shoulder softly, easing you into a slumber. Right before you give in to your exhaustion you’re reminded of your earlier conversation with Chris.

“Ah- Lixie?”

“Yes, love?”

“Channie said he wanted to talk with you about something.” You smile and wiggle your eyebrows before sleep finally takes over you, leaving a very confused Felix who just shakes his head at you mid-laugh.

Taglist:

@valkyriexo @lunearta @jabmastersupriseee @rylea08

@yaorzu-blog @amararosesblog @jiminssluttyminx @clemissleepy

@miss-daisy04 @kittyxnoa @dwaekkiiracha @bubblerizz

@baby-stay92

[a-small-safe-place]

Homelander x SingleMom!Reader

Building a Family

Homelander was walking to the daycare inside Vought. He did not think he would ever have to come down here, but he couldn't leave Ryan alone, and Ryan expressed clear displeasure about having to sit in Ashley's office. Ryan complained that Ashley smelled weird. Homelander understood what his son meant. Ashley consistently reeked of anxiety and fear. Of course, Ryan wouldn't recognize those smells; he was only ten years old. Homelander felt a pang of jealousy at Ryan's childhood innocence. He never had that opportunity. Dr. Vogelbaum and the rest of the scientists who raised him in the lab made sure of that.

Homelander entered the daycare area, and the few children left were chattering away. A little girl wearing a Homelander shirt ran up to him, giggling and reaching for him as if she wanted to be picked up. Homelander brushed past the girl and headed to the area for older children. Ryan walked over with a shy and somewhat awkward smile on his face. Homelander asked, "Hey, buddy, are you ready to head back up?" Ryan didn't say anything; he just nodded in response. Homelander understood that Ryan was probably overstimulated from being around screaming kids all day.

As they were walking out of the daycare are Homelander noticed the little girl from earlier hugging onto your leg while you chat with a daycare attendant. He recognized you as one of the top professionals on Vought's legal team. You were attractive, for a human, but you were still a human, even though your non-disclosure agreements had practically saved the image of the Seven. The little girl spotted Homelander and ran to him, clinging to his leg. You quickly scolded the girl, saying, "Sweetie, get off of him!" Homelander flashed his classic smile and lifted the little girl off his leg, while Ryan watched, somewhat annoyed and eager to go home. Homelander reassured you, saying, "It's alright; I'm glad to see I'm still popular with the kids."

You reached out for your daughter, saying, "She just really likes you. She has one of those huggable Homelander dolls and sleeps with it every night." Ryan quietly asks his dad if they can leave. Homelander seemed amused by your young daughter being a big fan of his and replied, "Oh, really? She must be my biggest fan, then." Homelander waved dismissively at you and your daughter, saying, "You two ladies have a nice night."

That night, Homelander thought about you. Perhaps you were more attractive than he had initially thought, and he couldn't help but notice your good physique. Even if you were just a human you could still be useful. You clearly possessed some good qualities and had the aptitude to be a good mother for Ryan if the situation arose. He decided to keep an eye out for you because he couldn't afford to appear desperate and let you know he was attracted to you. After all, he was Homelander, and you should come to him. However, your presence began to consume his senses and thoughts.

He smelled your perfume and your natural scent in the halls of Vought, heard your voice above all others, and occasionally saw you through the floors, unintentionally getting an up-skirt view when he used his X-ray vision to look up through the floors in your office. But you weren't showing any interest in him, which irked him more than anything. Homelander considered himself a god, and he believed that any woman would want him if given the chance. So, why weren't you pursuing him or trying to arrange to see him again when picking up your daughter from daycare?

Fed up with the situation, he stormed into your office. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked in an aggressive tone. You responded with uncertainty, "Sorry?" not sure what he was talking about.

"Don't play fucking cute. You've been avoiding me. Are you a lesbian? Or, God forbid, celibate?" Homelander inquired with furrowed brows. You didn't know how to respond. This man had the power to do terrible things, and saying the wrong thing could be disastrous for you and your daughter. Homelander continued, "I can't believe a woman like you is passing up the chance with someone like me. We're not even in the same league. No, I won't accept it. I'm coming to your house tomorrow, and we're having a date. Find a sitter for your daughter; just make sure she's not there. Nothing ruins the mood more than a child running around. If things go well, we can introduce our children to each other at the right time and become one big happy family."

With that, he left, without asking for your address or inquiring about your relationship status. You were shaken up, but at least you were still alive.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello Steph!

Ace Awareness week is already over, but I'd be really happy if I could ask you something about being a-spec. I'm honestly not sure who to ask irl and I feel like I've learned a lot on your blog, that's why I'm sharing this with you. I really hope this isn't too long or personal. If it is, please ignore it and thank you for reading <3.

So, I recently found out for myself that I'm pan(-sex.&-rom.) and platoniromantic (whee, there's a word for it! and I'm not automatically a creep! whoop!) For me it means, I basically have crushes on all of my friends at all times, (but Lgbt wiki says it falls under the aromantic-umbrella) which can get a bit awkward.

Growing up as a girl with my female friends, I've been confused by how physically affectionate they were (Hugs, and hand holding; Platonically sharing the bed etc.) bc I don't think any of them were sapphic. It was just cute and sweet for them, but they didn't want more. As a consequence I've been careful not to act on those feelings and not make my friends uncomfortable or abuse their trust(hence why I thought I'm creepy); the times I hinted at taking it further, they never seemed to be interested (I mean, what are the chances they're even sapphic?) It's kind of been the same with my bi/straight male friends. My dating pool is basically my small rl friend group (currently 2 lovely women), but I guess that way it's less likely they're also like me romantically back?

Over the years, it's just caused me a bit of heartbreak, because I have cared deeply about my friends and crave a closer romantic connection to someone. And, I mean, I do think it's kinda sweet that when my lizard-brain sees something friend-shaped, it wants to put a ring on it, but I don't really know how to proceed from here.

I'm honestly embarrassed that I'm already in my mid-twenties and have so little experience (no romantic/sexual relationships, not even proper kissing) (partly bc the pandemic struck 1 year after I got out of school). Do you maybe have some advice on how to meet people that 'match'? I'm quite shy and people usually call me uptight, so I haven't really been to any queer spaces in rl bc I'm a bit intimidated. Like, I don't seem particularly queer and I'm not great at talking about these things (I'm not even out to my family yet). Heck, for the longest time I thought I'm straight and just doing friendships wrong.

I'd appreciate a morsel of your wisdom, but it's also been really nice to just be able to share this with someone. It's made me feel less weird. Thank you.

Hey Nonny *HUGS*

Never ever hesitate to ask a question here... sometimes I answer them, sometimes I don't, but I try my best! <3 Especially asks about asexuality, because I like sharing the stuff I learned on my journey, AND I also enjoy researching to learn more as I reply to these asks!

So, OOOF, romance is definitely not something I know a lot about. And PLEASE don't be embarrassed at all. It's society that engrains this horrid notion that if you're in your 20s and you still haven't met someone / had sex, you're all dried up and no good (hence all the terrible ageism in fandom spaces). Nonny, I'm in my 40s and I've never had a serious relationship – sexual nor romantic – in my entire life. I crave wanting to be in love, but sadly it's not something that's probably ever in my future. And that said, I am LITERALLY the worst person to ask advice on how to "meet people" – I'm neurotic and introverted with horrid social anxiety, so meeting new people for me is a months-long prep period for me. And because I'm ace, I feel like sites like tinder and bumble aren't going to welcome me, so I've just... never tried.

Pfff so I suppose probably looking into community groups in your area, or joining social program (both things I haven't done because – you know – anxious). A-spec relationships are tough, it seems, because some of us such as myself just want to meet someone I can cuddle and love and spend all my time with for the rest of my life, while others might want the sex but not the romance... it's tough. Honestly there's no right answer I can offer you, mainly because I'm very inexperienced myself.

For me, I take joy in loving the people in my life in the various roles they play in it: my coworkers, my sister, my besties, and my family all have different attachments to me. I care about them all, and it's fulfilling in its own way. And I DO want a partner, if one will ever have me, but it's not a necessity to make life fulfilling for me.

I also haven't really been to queer spaces IRL either other than Pride and the cons I've visited, but yeah I feel like I'm going to be intruding because I'm not outgoing myself. I really wish I had the right answer for you, Lovely. I'd like to know myself. I feel like, sometimes, that I just got in too late.

ANYWAY, sorry if this isn't a good reply nor make you feel better, but I'm happy you felt comfy enough to share your story with me. Asks like this one make ME feel less alone too, Nonny. *HUGS**

If anyone has any advice, please feel free to add onto this post <3

[inutaffy]

guys my power is oit so i dont have wifi and you try to navigate tumblr without wifi its unbearable so instead i will jsut talk ab the books ive read ummmmmm i read aristotle & dante discover the secrets of the universe and that book was a 10/10 it was introspective and coming of age and messy and talked about feelings in a interestinf way. and did remind me of will and mike a little bit😭 i heard it got a sequel im not readin that probably😭 ERRRMMM i read loveless, its a sapphic book, its kinda boring though tbh. its about this girl who meets her girlfriend and theyre like a perfect match for each other and theyre planning and theyre so in love and then the main character dies on new years ans becomes a reaper, and shes trying to deal with that. and reapers arent supposed to see people they used to know so they stay out of thr areas they lived in, but she saw her girlfriend poppy by her grave and well. shes dead and poppy doesnt beliebe that, and its a whole thing anyway peope die when they see grim reapers and so poppy takes charons boat and then at the end of the year the mc gets the chance to join her and the book is kinda left in a weird spot idk it wasnt a great read but i was grounded in may for like almost a week and was crying all weekend bc i couldnt see my bf and i read it in a day. its kinda empty theres no real substance to it so like a 5/10. annnddd i read they both die at the end that was like a 7/10. its not bad but i see why people didnt like it. its okayyyyy. romance coulda been built up more if thats the way they really wanted it. bc it felt like we were dancing around it the whole time. and uhhh im reading one rn for my AP Lit class and its ab a shipwreck its called the stranger in the lifeboat and this guy comes aboard 3 days after the yacht sank and claims to be god and everyone has to believe in him in order for them to get out alive. im not thay far into it i gotta lock in. im also reading mexican gothic for lit and a graphic novel called sunbeam. if you like lesbian scifi that is for you🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ its not bad its a very... quiet book? its mostly visuals tbh. it has interesting lore and well developed characters i like it but its not like action packed its very reserved and somber in my opinion.

[nebulousfishgills]

Pride OC Asks!

For Emily: 2, 5, 9, 11, 13 (no, having two romantic interests with the same face does not count)

Also 17, 19, and 20

Thanks for the ask (again), my friend! Let's see what we have here...

13) Would your OC be open to a poly relationship? Why or why not?

2) What is your OCs orientation? Do they have opinions about it?

I put a bit of thought into Emily's orientation, and I think I came to the conclusion that she was Demiromantic Bisexual. As a kid Emily had crushes on girls, but she squashed that part of herself down so fucking fast and has been repressing it ever since. Hawkins Lab barely gave her the chance to form her romance with Henry and I highly doubt anybody's gonna educate her on same-sex attractions. And that full fledged romance with Henry came after forming that deep emotional connection and she hates almost everyone else...

...Almost.

I've made the joke before that when it came to her relationship with Caius, Emily went on a "Revenge Sex to Marriage Speedrunning Challenge." I think there's room for a grey area here in general. But after Emily gets more comfortable with the Volturi, she feels more comfortable with her own attractions. She seduces women to feed on, she's probably done at least something with Heidi, among other things. In fact I wrote a little snippet of a scene not intended for a fic that illustrates a scene where Emily admits her orientation to Caius in a weird way that befits them completely:

Okay, setting the scene, it's not long after Emily is turned. Caius is sharing with her his painting hobby, taking her through a secret gallery/storage room for some of his works-

"I never really took you for someone who likes to paint." Emily mused, taking her time looking from painting to painting and marveling at the detail in each one. "Well, maybe painting with the proverbial blood of your enemies, but not... you know."

"When one is immortal, one must find some way to pass the time... aside from the proverbial bloodshed, of course." Caius replied. Emily wandered around the room, taking in paintings ranging from landscapes to groups to individual people. Some Emily recognized, others she didn't. She paused in front of a few paintings stacked against the wall, none of them framed so she could see the canvas nailed to the structural wood. She started leafing through them in much the same way Eddie used to leaf through vinyl records at the music shop they sometimes frequented.

It looked like more of the same: a snowcapped mountain range, a desert sunset, two paintings that looked like Italian countrysides, and--

"Ho-ly shit." Emily whispered, emphasizing the syllables as she stared with wide eyes at a painting further back in the stack. She slid it out from its spot delicately. It wasn't as big as some of the others, but wide enough that Emily needed both hands to hold it.

By this point, Caius had noticed what she was doing, at first wondering which painting had captured her interest. As he got closer, he realized which one she was holding, however. If he could still blush, he would have.

"I feel the need to ask, but I think I know the answer. It's her, isn't it?" Emily said, not meeting Caius' gaze. He nodded, his lips glued shut. It was an old painting of Athenodora. Not grievous on its own, of course, but she was painted in what Emily could only describe as 'tastefully nude.' The ashy-blonde woman lay reclined on a chaise with a sultry expression, a rose colored blanket covering any sensitive areas, although not much was left to the imagination.

"Not exactly my ideal way of you seeing her for the first time." Caius said quickly.

"I get it, that's for your eyes." Emily slid the painting back in its spot. "Although I completely get it now. I'd be depressed too if I lost someone who looked like *that.* Holy hell, I'd happily be in that sandwich... Is that gross, talking about a dead woman like that?"

"Beg pardon?" Caius seemed lost. Not offended, just... thrown off. Emily smiled with an eye roll.

"How do I put this in terms you'll understand?" Emily raised one arm with curled fingers, resting her elbow on the other arm resting against her stomach parallel to the floor. She curled her lip up and spoke in a phony accent. "I've been known to enjoy the visage of a beautiful woman from time to time.

She dropped the act before continuing.

"Or, as we say in the modern era. I have eyes, girls are pretty."

Caius stared at her for a moment, digesting what she was telling him. Finally, a smile broke out along his face before he laughed.

"Another thing that we share in common with one another. It's truly a shame; I'm sure Dora would have loved you." Caius looked at the painting, still visible since Emily hadn't pushed the ones in front of it back. The signature smirk of his curled on his lips, a tell that he was about to say something lewd. "Although I suppose that now I have to paint your likeness in such a way."

Emily snorted.

Basically the bitch is a horribly repressed bisexual.

5) How did you figure out your OC's identity?

Trial and error, ultimately. When I first conceptualized Emily I joked that her sexuality was just Henry since as far as I knew he was the only person she fully tolerated, let alone would let herself fall in love with... which, again, got more literal/ironic as time passed but everyone knows that story.

But I'm bisexual myself and honestly I genuinely can't help but pass that onto my characters because it opens up new avenues. But I wanted Emily's orientation to reflect that original low tolerance for anything that's not Henry-Shaped, so I added Demiromantic since (clearly) she can feel attraction to someone quickly but it takes more effort and a much deeper connection for her to form a long-term bond.

9) Are there cultural or lore-specific aspects to their identity?

As I mentioned, the Demiromantic label comes from her Extremely Specific Tastes In Men, which came from her own distaste for people and what I could call the "culture" of the lab setting they grew up in. Naturally the social culture of the time tags on the "Repressed" side to Emily's bisexuality since even if she wasn't stuck in a lab for twenty years, she was born in 1949, no way in hell her attraction to women is nurtured except in extremely specific situations.

11) Is your OC open about their identity? Are they more low-key or blunt about it? Why or why not?

This is my usual answer, but it really depends on where in Emily's timeline(s) we are. As a child, no, even if she could recognize she had a crush on a girl in St. Valentina's (Lucy Harris). Most cases in the lab, no, that conversation can't even come close to happening.

In private with Henry in the lab, maybe. Once she fully and completely trusts him, I think she'd admit to feeling things for girls (I could even see her saying she thinks one of the nurses is pretty) which I think Henry would understand because we can pretty reasonably assume he himself is some flavor of queer.

With Eddie, again, that's a hard maybe. She'll never completely trust him so the jury's out on if she'd tell him... but I think Eddie knows regardless of what she says or not. Again, likely a takes one to know one situation, but I think he's seen her flirt with female NPCs in D&D campaigns, usually for information, but regardless of the reason, she chose to flirt.

As a soul sucking demon in the Upside-Down (wings, vines, etc), absolutely, she is using her wiles to claim any soul she can find, including women. I've always headcanoned that at some point in time, Robin had a small crush on her from a distance that Emily probably would exploit if Robin ever came into her clutches.

And, again, when Emily is a vampire she's as open as possible with it.

How she talks about it really depends on who she's telling this to and when. She probably skittered around the topic with Henry but would probably kiss a woman in front of Eddie to prove a point.

Ha ha, very funny. In that way, no, Emily would be too unsettled by that (as would I)

...but it's funny you should mention that because I just so happen to have just posted this. I had this drafted months ago and finally finished it.

I mentioned "extremely specific situations" in question 9 and this is one of them. Go nuts.

17) Do you share your identity with any of your OCs?

Most of my OCs are bi like I am. Keira isn't, I always just perceived her as straight. She's got her own shit to deal with. If we wanna include self insert RPG/MMO game characters, my main Star Wars: The Old Republic character, Irinerys, I always headcanoned as a lesbian. Unfortunately the game doesn't let female player characters flirt with female NPCs so that doesn't really go anywhere... she does flirt with men if it could benefit her though. Oh, and technically it's a given, but my college friends and I play a TTRPG called Thirsty Sword Lesbians and my character's, you know, a lesbian. Her name is Marlina Nerys.

19) Do you have preferences about depicting homo/transphobia in your stories? What, and why? Does it vary by story?

Nine times out of ten, any homophobia is just kind of implied in my fics. Like, yeah, we can reasonably assume why Emily doesn't blatantly admit to this girl that she has a crush on her beyond the other reasons like Emily being perceived as a freak or even a witch. Once in a while I might mention it if I think the situation calls for it, but that's rare.

20) Have your OCs helped you in self discovery? How?

I mean... not severely. Usually I give my OCs my orientation rather than me discovering mine through them. I've been comfortable and open with my sexuality for a few years now and it feels like it's the right "setting" for me. Most of my own sexuality discovery came from sources outside of my OCs specifically.

Unrelated, but shoutout to my college friends (none of them cis) insisting I was simply too cool to simply be cisgender and unanimously and very quickly agreeing my gender was MILF since I just have Mom Energy (yes I was typecast as the Mom Character/Figure many times) even if there's a low chance I'll want kids in the future.

I guess you could connect that to the fact that all of my main OCs have kids at some point, making them all milfs (Olivia has two children with Loki, Keira has Sophia with Norman, and Emily as of now is Eleven's biological mother with Henry being the father even if she didn't canonically carry Eleven).

***

God I LOVE answering any and all questions about my OCs. Thanks!

[iiryebreadii]

I wanna write my thoughts on my playthrough of totk as I go along (cause I love going back and reading them after finishing), so I'm gonna post them on this blog!! If you're sensitive to spoilers like me, make sure to blacklist "#totk liveblog" :)

It got kinda long so I'm putting it under a cut haha

that being said, my beginning thoughts to the opening of the game were basically OMG ZELDA HI ZELDA I MISSED YOU LOVE THE HAIR OMG HI like she was so cute!!! I LOVED getting to walk with her in the opening it made me like actually emotional. Cause you never get to just!! walk with her and talk in botw!! She's SUCH a nerd I loved her info dumping on the ruins. At the same time I was like "girl please stop walking into the ominous red fog I can hear the chanting in the background getting louder ZELDA PLEASE" and the bit where you have to choose to keep going? It's like the game is giving you a false out, like the following events are your fault because you chose to walk forward and investigate

And then there was the craziness of MUMMYDORF being all like "mm pathetic. weak lil baby sword can't do anything lmao rauru was soooo dumb" and he can identify Link and Zelda on sight despite them being entirely new incarnations which I find very interesting

Then SHE FALLS AND LINK JUMPS AFTER HER AND HE DOESNT SAVE HER AND SHE DISAPPEARS AND AJHDJHDJSNKJAK

Also I got really sad about the master sword?? Fi girl I'm so sorry I promise I'll find a way to fix you :'( when you pick her up on the sky island and she's got 1 damage, less than a tree branch, I was just heartbroken. Though it does make me wonder, how much power has the master sword lost over the millennia, for it to be corrupted so thoroughly by Ganondorf's magic?? Maybe we'll get a chance to get her up to full power later in the game? Maybe reforge her somehow?

On the sky island when I was running around, I was convinced I missed the shirt in the beginning. I got the leg wrap things but no weird toga to go with it?? Straight up thought I somehow missed it even though I practically combed every area I walked through lol. My friend was playing with me and he made it their mission to find the shirt HAHA

The new mechanics/powers are so much fun!! After I got ascend, I kept forgetting I had it at first when I got stuck in underground places, and would wander around looking for a ladder or a climbable wall before I would be like "oh yeah I have ascend" lol. Fuse has been really cool! I love using extra long spears, they're so convenient for tough monsters cause I'm still Very Squishy. OH speaking of, I love that the opening addresses why you're back down to three hearts and a single stamina wheel!! once again, link has Almost Perished. But at least he has a sickass prosthetic from a dead guy!

Ultrahand is SO fun, I made myself a little jet when I was exploring the underground of hyrule with some fans, a 'wing' glider thing, and a ramp made of stone walls. It didn't go too terribly far BUT it got me over the Ganon Gunk I was trying to get past, so it was a success in my book!!

Recall is my favorite. I don't use it much yet but zelda gave it to me. So it Must be my favorite. It was a gift from my beloved.

Some other notes on getting back to the surface of hyrule:

PURAH IS FINALLY AN ADULT I'm glad your anti-anti-aging rune worked out for you girl

How long has it been since botw?? Also, how long were Zelda and Link missing??? Long enough for people to have named the Upheaval, and to organize groups for research and combat around it. How long was Link out in that sky cave?? How long did it take for Rauru to heal him/give him his arm??? Not years obviously, but maybe a few days?? Weeks??

Met a rito named Penn, I already know people are gonna be weirdly thirsty about him

The little Korok buddies needing to reach their friends is just. SO cute. Two for one korok seed deal also

Addison, the guy putting up signs for Hudson's construction business, is amazing. I help him with his sign and he's like "THANK YOU TAKE MY MONEY TAKE MY FOOD TAKE MY WIFE TAKE MY CAR I CAN NEVER REPAY YOU FOR THIS". and he does that every time. incredible

I'm still exploring in hateno but. guys. Links house. Zelda LIVES there and there is STILL ONLY ONE BED. I rest my case.

Also the school??? Zelda, who dedicated her life to her duty but had a love of learning, making her duty of restoring hyrule by starting with building a school and being a teacher??? The students call her Ms. Zelda??? brb crying. sobbing my eyes out. good lord.

Also Bolson built the school, but then he left to go on a trip??? Construction grandpa i need you here!!! don't leave!!! But also maybe it's good that you left. I don't want you to be here for the Ganondorf Revival. stay safe king

My horses from my last botw save file are here!! Good to have you guys back :') they don't have their cool armor but I guess I'll just find those sets again :) perhaps new ones also?? (I'm kinda sad I don't have the original save file from my first playthrough; I've replayed a few times but my first playthrough was the one I did all the side quests on, and it had my first really good horse, which was named Mürdur. He was all black, had 5 stars in speed, and was awesome. I fought my first dark beast ganon with him. Maybe I'll look for a similar horse here in totk...)

Horseback combat is AMAZING. I had to fight a huge group of monsters to get through fort hateno and I am still Very Squishy with only 4 hearts and no extra stamina, but I hopped on one of my old botw horses and just did a bunch of ride-by whacks on the monsters and eventually got them all! thank you horseback combat for the bonus damage. god bless

Kinda sad to see all the ancient sheikah tech gone :( I wonder if they'll address where it all went? Did you guys just... re bury it?? Did everything get sucked back into the ground??? Where's the OG sheikah slate?? Obviously we can't have it because then we would have access to the botw runes, which isn't what this game is about, but still!! I like the Purah Pad but I would like to know where it went!

Cave exploration is Very Fun and Underground exploration is terrifying in the best way possible. I found a glow in the dark shirt while I was down there and it has become my default armor piece to wear.

Speaking of armor, Misko the famous treasure hunter being referred to exclusively with they/them pronouns? excellent

Also how did this ancient treasure hunter get their hands on my clothes. those are my outfits homie I had them in the last game.

I haven't gotten to the main bits of the story yet, but the game seems to be pushing me to go to the rito first, so I think that's where I'll go after I finished exploring Hateno

Apparently Impa is just. Out there somewhere? On a hot air balloon??? I saw Cado earlier and he was like "Link you're back!! Impa is floating around out there :)" GIRL WHAT. WHERE.

I need to go check on Teba. why is your son in the trailer but not you. Also Yunobo, cause I didn't see him either

[arlecchno]

lmao the blonde parts are supposed to be teal but i havent had a chance to redye them in foreverr … also yes ! my xiao jacket ! its not the only one out there though LOL

the wall youre seeing is actually my best friend roofs long lost sibling , wall /j

BEFORE 6 !? i could never i always go to bed at like 12am …. im so sleep deprived on school days lol

ME AND THAT FRIEND DID SO MANY SILLY THINGS IN OUR MATH/STEM CLASS LMAO we used to play genshin wish sim (im very young T_T) and say weird things to summon characters (i told the computer id help make kaeya dilucs brother again to get diluc , and BOTH OF THEM CAME HOME IN THE SAME PULL) tbh ive always complained ab stairs so ,,, i cant even take the stairs in my building anymore bc i live on the 9th floor itd take way too long 😭

we have a lot of the same top 5s , kaeya , diluc , and scara share #1 because … yes . my favorite gal is fischl i love her sm -

i have 11 5*s (not including aloy) , and im currently pulling for sir acting grand scribe himself ! im at around late 30 pity , if he does / doesnt come home i will make self ship art because i dont think he would like that >:)

GOOD TO KNOW ITS GOING WELL im actually making notes for a fic i wanna write on call w my previously mentioned friend roof LOL ive had the idea ever since the nilotpala cup event , i really wanted to make like an actual fic based off of it bc that girl from the yae publishing house was supposed to or wtv HAHAH but im procrastinating on a title so im just . UGH - yk ?

i did have a good day both the day you replied and today ! i am injured but its not bad (only hurts when i move certain ways) , i went on a field trip for school today and got to go in a ✨stream✨ and pick up a little crawfish >:D i hope youre doing good as well !! its so nice talking to you lmao youre so cool

i might start sending doodles every ask , so heres a sketch of my genshin oc !!

my “question” issss guess what region theyre from ! or who they live with LOL the hint is that there are already playables from their region , and there are technically two regions theyre from ?? you can guess just one though ill give you the answer next ask :P

- jellyfish

i think it's because i'm already used to waking up early... even tho i'm a very sleep deprived student that sleeps at 12-1 and wakes up at 5 😔 i'm fairly a light sleeper so no matter what time i sleep, whenever my alarm goes off i'm always up by the second 🥲

and LMAOO i've played a ton of those wish sims to prevent myself from rolling whenever i'm saving up for a character, it works wonders

i didn't really expect you to like fischl!!! i like using her in events where we have her as a trial character lol using oz in her burst and flying around is so silly but i always have fun with it!

seems like we're both on the run for alhaitham :D currently have 72 pity and he still has yet to arrive... i do not have a guarantee whatsoever so the next time i pull i'm gonna be praying for him to come home 😔 i've already explored most of the new area for him

and that fic idea sounds interesting! i briefly forgot about that event so when you mentioned it i'm suddenly reminded of how fun playing with the fungi was!! hope you'll find many inspiration for your supposed title, and who knows, next thing you know you're hitting the post button for your fic 🤭

hope you're healing well from your injury also!! have lots of rest and don't overexert yourself too much, resting is very important hehe

it's nice to know that you went on a field trip :O i haven't been to one in a while so hearing it from you reminded me how fun it always is to go on one and escape school (tbf i think we can agree at least half of the students that volunteer on field trips only do it to skip classes LMAO #guilty)

i think if i had to guess, it's a mix between mondstadt and sumeru, maybe? i'm either really wrong or really right since my basic skills of knowledge on each regions' outfits are very minimal 😵���💫

a question for you; how was your week? tell me all about it!! hehe i honestly like hearing people talk about their day and week because it's undeniably so interesting to know what others have been up to and how different some people's lives can be from ours! hope i'm not rambling too much... i just really like listening to people talk and talk about their life

[lady-of-the-spirit]

Nothing gives you a god complex like already knowing about something your class is talking about.

[princesskokichi]

Kazuichi and reader keep Gundham and Sonia away from eachother

I think this one is a good way to get back my motivation to write- it's just chaotic and fun!

Thank you for requesting, anon! Have a great day!

- Mod Kaede

- When Kazuichi first approached you, you had thought nothing of it: the two of you were good friends, so you thought he wanted to just chat about the usual things

- Those usual things consisting of him talking about his really weird fascinations and you explaining how a girls organs are not to be viewed like they're a car engine

- Nonetheless, this had to have been one of the few times you had agreed to go along with his questionable ideas when he had asked for you to join him in his diabolical scheme of keeping the close pair of Gundham and Sonia away from eachother

- Perhaps he had thought he would have a chance with the out of reach princess had her prince of darkness been kept away long enough for him to have a chance at not being ruthlessly rejected- though you had your doubts of his plans actually working, you had agreed with the intentions of following your own desires through this plan

- It had seemed, however, that Kazuichi had not expected you to go along with his plan as quickly and with as little resistance as you did, indicated by his widened eyes and hesitant, yet excited, grin. He proceeded to pull out a folded peice of paper out of his pocket, which he then unfolded to become a large sheet of paper with what appeared to be a surprisingly well made plan

- It wasn't too soon before you had went through the plan a few times and the two of you sprung into action. Though, originally, Kazuichi had suggested that you go with Sonia at first ('in order to hype me up' he lied, you knowing he was just nervous about speaking to Sonia on his own) you had persisted with the idea that he should just get it over with now and you go straight to Gundham first, for both of your sake

- He wasn't really sure why you were so determined to go with Gundham first, nor what your true intentions were, but had decided to overlook it, in favour of keeping you in his plan and getting to spend more time with Sonia

- The plan was pretty simple, all you had to do was distract Gundham while Kazuichi talked with Sonia elsewhere. Most of the planning on that paper were potential places you could take Gundham that would avoid the general area that Sonia will be in, as well as containing a few conversation topics that were bound to keep the interest of both Sonia and Gundham

- It was easy, at first, you had already spent a little time with Gundham beforehand, and had won over enough of his trust to get him to follow you to one of the assigned locations. Just in time too, as you had previously saw Sonia on her way to Gundham. Luckily, Kazuichi had acted quick enough to distract her so you could steal away Gundham before it got to that point

- After you had moved locations, far away from both Kazuichi and Sonia, you had begun to get nervous, forgetting almost all of the conversation topics you had supposedly memorised earlier. This was your crush you were spending time with, after all: what would you say? You had to speak soon, however, as failing to do so could result in Gundham leaving and the plan failing too.

- Fortunately, it was rather easy to speak of one topic Gundham was passionate about: animals

- "So, what is your opinion on trees?"

- How did you even mess that up?! It suddenly became apparent that you spend to much time with Kazuichi, having adopted his inability to be a normal, sensible human being and also being an idiot. You'd have to stop being friends with him after this, for the sake of preserving what is left of your braincells and social capabilities

- Gundham's facial expression changed to one of a scared cat. Honestly, he acts as if he had never been asked about the wellbeing of vegetation before!

- "Ah... I much prefer the animals that live in them..."

- "Ahahaha.... Yeah I really like ducks..."

- "....."

- "Ducks don't live in trees, do they?"

- "I'm afraid not, S/O"

- Yeah, definitely stop hanging out with Kazuichi. Especially since Gundham looked as though he was about to leave. It was at that moment that you had an idea, though you were sure that he thought you were too stupid for it to work

- "Could you perhaps teach me about animals so that I never make that mistake ever again?"

- It seemed as though some greater force was on your side that day as Gundham's face had immediately lit up, and he suddenly went on to talk about animals for the next hour. Though you didn't get much talk in, he looked as though he was enjoying himself, and you didn't trust yourself to say anything intelligent, anyway

- Pretty soon, you saw Kazuichi walking towards the two of you, a sign that your time with Gundham was coming to an end. He was without Sonia, but wore a bright smile on his face, which could mean anything for him. You said your goodbyes to Gundham once Kazuichi had arrived to where you sat

- "Goodbye, S/O, I would thoroughly enjoy hanging out with you again. I shall be testing you on your animal knowledge next time!"

- You nodded before showing him a soft smile, not failing to notice the slight blush on Gundham's cheeks, which made your heart pound louder and faster than usual. You were glad that the duck thing didn't put him off

- As you walked away with Kazuichi, he started talking about how his 'date' went, mentioning how he managed to go a whole hour without scaring Sonia off, only because he let her talk the entire time (which you can say is a great tactics for someone as socially incompetent as the two of you). He asked how your time with Gundham was spent, though you responded vaguely

- "I've been meaning to ask but, why were you so easily persuaded to help me earlier?"

- "I have a crush on Gundham, obviously-"

- "WAIT WHAT-"

- "Wow, what an attentive friend you are-"

- You spent the rest of the walk thinking about what to do with Gundham next, also contemplating how to make Kazuichi less of a dense idiot

- "Hey, Kazuichi?"

- "Yeah?"

- "Name an animal that lives in trees,"

- "Ducks."

- "We're no longer friends-"

[floraltypes]

Ohshc Headcannon

OHSHC - Y/n in a uncomfortable situation head-cannons

saw someone else do something similar and wanted to put my own spin on it :))

TW: creepy males making y/n uncomfy

gender neutral x host club members

Haruhi 💗

You’ve decided to go visit the girl while she’s working.

She’s busy talking to one of her guests so you decided to wait and sit at one of the couches

One of the men quickly walked over, he was here to drop off some shipments but thinks that now you’re a new host/hostess

He sits across from you, just staring for a moment before striking a conversation

“So, you seem like a cutie, are you new here?”

Your eyes widen a bit, taken aback by his presence and how blunt he was

“I’m not apart of this club,” You awkwardly chuckle, hoping that Haruhi is almost finished because now you are starting to feel uncomfortable

“Good, good, that just means I don’t have to share you with anyone,” They wink, standing up and now sitting besides you

Haruhi, stops her conversation with the girls, hearing that awkward chuckle of yours her head turns

At first, she just thinks your talking with one of the boys, one telling a inappropriate joke and you just trying to be kind

But soon realizes that’s not the case, and excuses herself

Haruhi doesn’t exactly feel jealous, just a bit confused, and frankly worried

She can tell by your apparent facial expressions that you’re also worried yourself

Finding a empty tea tray, she grabs it, and rushes over with it, then taking a seat besides you

“Y/n!” She smiles, handing you a tea cup, not even filled. “I’m glad you waited for me, sorry to waist your time,”

You’re overjoyed she’s here, the man sending you some interesting glares and you didn’t want to cause a scene

“I’ll do better at watching the time. Um, i’m sorry you don’t look familiar,” She looks at the man while taking one of your hands and intertwining it with hers

“Oh, you were waiting for someone?” He asks you. “You should have told me, it was like you were leading me on,” he scoffs, standing up and leaving

Haruhi looks at you with a small smile

“What a jerk, would you like me to make some actual tea now?”

The both of you laugh, you feeling much more comfortable with her being by your side

Tamaki 💞

He was so excited to spend today with you!

You didn’t feel like doing much, just wanting to maybe go to a cafe with the man

He had tons of things planned, zoos, cafes, shopping, musicals, etc

If there was something fun, he had it planned for you two to do soon

After spending half a day planning the dates you’d have when you both had off, today the both of you would go to a pet shop

Tamaki always expressed how much he loved animals, ever since he was able to go to one, and it’s something he still enjoys indulging in

The both of you were outside the shop, he had some money almost spilling out of his wallet, prepared to buy some animals

Leaving you to make sure he doesn’t, or at least doesn’t go overboard...

Once inside the worker set up a room for you two to play with the puppy

Unfortunately, today was a busy day and many people were also coming, so you were paired up with another group of guys

They had a harsher look, not being so friendly, and smelled kind of gross

You weren’t one to judge, sometimes, but something about them gave off a weird feeling

“Gosh, aren’t these puppies adorable!” Tamaki beamed, picking up the little dog into his arms, then bringing it up to his face

“Tamaki, you have to share with the rest of us,” You reminded him, taking the puppy from him and placing it on the ground

The man sat on your other side, quickly went to grab the dog, his hand touching yours a bit

“But Y/n, I didn’t get enough time with him,” He whined, shaking your shoulders a bit while the other men stifled chuckles

“Y/n, that’s a nice name,” The man on your side commented, sending a smile

“Um, thanks,” You just messed with your fingers, not looking at him

“So,” The one man tried to start up a conversation with Tamaki, giving his friend the chance to talk to you

Tamaki knew they were trying to do something, so he made sure to keep a eye on you, making sure you felt okay

“You know, we don’t have plans after this, what if you came and hung out with us?” The man asked you, moving closer

“Sweetie! Don’t forget that you promised to go get ice cream with me after. It’s the perfect end to our date,” Tamaki smiled widely, grabbing your arm and standing up “Ah, I think i’ve seen enough puppies for today,” He put a hand on your cheek and kissed your lips. “Bye now!”

Kyoya 🤍

His father was hosting a dinner party tonight

The Ootori group just opened a new high tech hospital, with the helps of your families business

It was great to see both families interacting well, and felt good to have his father like you, even if you didn’t really like him

Kyoya was thankful that his father was okay with you, worried it would affect his opportunity in being the heir eventually

You were all dressed up for the night, told to keep a smile and kind words the whole time

But you were mostly planning on spending it by Kyoya’s side..

Eventually he was moved away because his father wanted to introduce all his children to a potential business partner

Your family did the same, to a different man, one who kind of seemed to take a particular interest in you

“I love your hair,” The older, 40 year old man complimented you, your father just smiling lightly and soon walking away

“I should go find, uh, Kyoya!” You smiled oddly at the older man, about to walk away

“Wait up handsome/beautiful,” The man wrapped his chubby fingers around your wrist, tugging on it, and pulling you to stand right in front of him

You frantically looked around, your father talking to someone else, and the mans smile was fretting away from friendly

Kyoya had just finished talking to some painting company CEO, someone he could care less about

He wanted to use this time to do things with you, talk more, hear about your day maybe, just see your smile and hear your laughter

Luckily he turned around at the right moment, seeing the man yank you back and his facial feature turning to a wicked expression

He quickly, but respectfully, whisked over, titling his glasses down a bit and reaching a hand across your lower back to wrap around your waist, pulling you into his side

“Darling, who is this?” Kyoya asked, seeing your expression change to a grateful one

“Um, I never caught his name....?”

“It’s Toling, from America,” He smiled at you, his ‘smile’ changing when looking at Kyoya. “You have a boyfriend?”

“And your from America?” Kyoya questioned back, not letting you answer his. “What exactly is your position, my father, Ootori, he also told me no one from out of country would be here. Why are you here? I don’t think you were invited, this seems like a appropriate moment to call security, do you agree, dear?” He looked at you

“Yeah, I think so,” You grinned at him, pecking his cheek while the older man ran off towards the front door.

Hikaru 💓

The two of you heard about this new performance group in the area

They weren’t anything professional but still interested you both, maybe being so bad you could make a couple jokes about it

It started off... well interesting to say the least...

You both couldn’t figure out where it was going, what the overall theme of it was, I mean someone spilt their ‘prop’ on the stage floor

It was a disaster in the beginning, the both of you already having jokes in mind, but being respectful to wait till the end to say them

During the performance a hand intertwined with yours, that being Hikaru’s of course

When it was finished, the both of you had no words, just tears?

You didn’t know when they got there, or how the performance all of a sudden changed sad, but it was there

You got up to walk by a concession area, hoping to purchase a pack of tissues

Someone was behind you in line, and you could just feel their gaze on your behind

“Do you have a pack of tissues on hand?” You asked, pulling out some money and the women handing it to you

“Tissues, I could have given you those for free,” The man behind you smiled. “Now, what’s a attractive kid like you doing here?”

“Watching a show, like everyone else,” You motioned with your hand, taking a tissue and wiping your eyes

“You’re a funny one, sparky. How about I treat you to a meal?”

“No, thanks,” You scratched the back of your head, trying to step away, but him just blocking you

“Come on now,” He chuckled, reaching for your arm before you pulled back.

“Y/n, hey, you got them,” Hikaru pushed past him, planting a longer kiss on your lips and swinging his arm to rest over your shoulders. “Do you mind? We’re on a date,” He told the older man, guiding you away from him. “You okay, that man sure was a idiot trying to take you away from me,”

Kaoru 💝

He was honestly super pumped about getting to spend time with just you

He saw how much his stubborn twin could fall in love with Haruhi and become a better person, to mature, he wanted that with someone and that was you

To say he was nervous, was a understatement, this was your guys’s first date and he wanted it to be great

Sure you had been dating for a while, but still

You both decided on just going to a carnival thing in town

Sounded fun and would let you both get loose a bit, chat about life, truly have a break from everything and everyone

(not everyone, the club was secretly there making sure it went great)

After a long day, and many rides, Kaoru went to go order some food for the both of you while you waited on the bench

“Is this seat taken?” A man around your age questioned, you nodded you head no, and moved over on the bench to give him some space

“Go ahead,”

“Thanks, wow, uh your eyes are really pretty,” He complimented, taking a sip of his drink

“Oh, thanks?” You shyly smiled, tapping you finger on the bench to a beat, waiting for Kaoru to come back

The man kept asking random questions about yourself though, like ‘how old are you’ ‘what do you think of the weather today’ ‘did you like that ride over there?’ it was awkward for you to answer

Kaoru had just bought the food, starting to walk over, but quickly noticing you chatting with the man

He felt, jealous?

This perfect day he was having, and you’re talking to another guy?!

But wait, he remembered his brother talking about really looking at someone’s actions to truly understand, things they say, really paying attention

He soon realized that you weren’t really liking the conversation, your eyes widening after he spoke, slowly returning the comment to him

He whisked over there, honestly just plopping himself in between the two of you, in the (little) empty space

“I, uh, got the food,” He waved it in the air a bit, not spilling it. “You still hungry, babe?”

“Thank you Kaoru, you’re so kind,” You grinned, kissing him on the lips, his cheeks beating up.

“Mhm, let’s go eat somewhere else, just the two of us!”

Mori 💜

Mori and you weren’t big on doing a bunch of stuff for dates

You both mostly ended up at one another’s house, lounging there, maybe a cafe, who knew

But today he kind of wanted you to watch his practice, he was a bit awkward which you noticed quickly

“Takashi, you okay?” You asked him, tapping his shoulder. “What do you want to do today?”

He wanted to straight out say ‘come watch me practice’ but also didn’t want to be inconsiderate of what you wanted to do

He shrugged his shoulders, cracking his knuckles a bit, hoping you got the sign...?

“You know, I haven’t seen you practiced yet, that could be fun!”

He was beaming inside

So it was set, the two of you planning to meet up at the place he practiced at

It was something nice to do, he worked on his moves for a while, you starting some homework but still watching

One of his partners he worked on some of the skills with sat near you

“Hey, what are you working on?” You two chatted a little, trying to be kind, but you knew he was just trying to speed up the small talk into something more fun, for him

“Anyways, I need to focus,” You told him, standing up and getting prepared to move to a different space

“I think you should take a break, what do you say?”

“I can’t, I have a test tomorrow, need to get this done,”

“Don’t be like that, i’ll help you study after our break,” He was slowly/quickly closing the distance between you two

Mori just finished throwing a man, going to have a drink of water and see how you’re doing, but seeing that ‘opponent’ of his flirting with you?

“Y/n,” He walked up, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “I’m done here, let’s go,”

You nodded, the man across from you shaken up a bit at the stare Mori sent afterwards

Honey 💛

Honey was babbling about a new cafe that popped up, very VERY excited about it

Apparently it was cute, had a nice seating area, and the BEST cake in town

So, of course, he had to decide that himself

(I think he secretly has a blog online dedicated to trying and critiquing cakes)

He thought this would be a perfect time to catch up and share the lovely moment with

You agreed, wanting to spend time with the boy you liked so much, always enjoying sharing treats with him

After school you both headed right there

The place was nice, and a little packed, since it did just open

You both found a little booth in the back, away from the crowd a bit

Honey ordered, almost, one of every cake they sold

“I’ll just try one of his,” You told the waitress, who looked like her eyes were going to pop out of her head due to Honey’s order

“If you want Y/n-chan!” He smiled at you, soon going into a ramble about one place he bought a bad cake at

Usa-chan also wasn’t pleased with the taste of it

Once a few of the pieces came, he gave you Usa-chan to hold, to make sure he didn’t get dirty

You spent the time, watching him eat cake, feeding him cake, eating some yourself, and chatting about the Host Club

He eventually had to go to the bathroom, telling you he would be right back and to watch Usa-chan

While he left another man came up, figuring you were by yourself

“Aren’t these a lot of treats for you?” He asked, secretly judging you

“I’m sure it’s not your place to decide what’s enough for me,” You scoffed, looking the other way

“And you have a stuffed bear? So cute. Let me buy you something else, for a little kid like you,” He placed some money on the table, trying to reach for Usa-chan

major pedo vibes ....

You moved away from him, not letting his dirty hands touch your boyfriends precious bunny

“Aw come on now,”

“Y/n-chan, let’s go now!” Honey walked over, you climbing out the empty way of the booth, standing near Honey

“Aw you’re here with your brother,” The man cooed, standing up himself.

You grabbed Honey’s hand, not wanting to interact any longer with the man, and leaving the cafe

“Sorry Honey, I- I just really don’t-”

There the man was, he followed the both of you out

He was moving to touch/grab you from behind, Honey quickly noticing and pushing you out of the way a bit

Pulling a classic move, the older man was on the ground

The surrounding crowds were in awe, you were still a bit surprised from his strength sometimes

“That’s not nice, please don’t touch Y/n-chan or I’ll have to call the cops!” He smiled at him, soon grabbing your hand and the two of you walking away like nothing happened

[naughtyneganjdm]

Just Not My Type

Summary: Negan and Y/N are best friends after he saved her when the Apocalypse first started. In their group, Negan is charmed by another woman and it leaves Y/N jealous because she is head over heels in love with Negan. Attempting to get his attention on her, she asks him to help her with something in hopes to get him to realize that he may like her more than he thought.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), Simon, Dwight, etc. 

Warnings: Swearing, smut, angst, arguing, Negan being an asshole, etc. 

Notes: Pre-warning, Negan is a bit of an asshole and is kind of cruel in this one. This was a request given to me. I'm not sure if people just like me writing asshole Negan or what, but I hope the person who asked for this is happy with it! I wrote this rather quickly. I hope it's at least okay!

“I don’t get it,” Negan grumbled beside Y/N while they walked through the wholesale store together. The rest of the group went off in separate areas of the store to look for supplies and they were supposed to be doing the same. There was a frustrated expression over Negan’s face and she felt a sense of disappointment. When the world fell to shit, Y/N pretty much gave up. It got to the point where she had no one in her life. A few months ago, she had found herself cornered by a group of savages and felt like it was the end of the world as she knew it. Somehow, Negan was passing by while in search of people and heard her getting attacked. He saved her. Just in time too. Since then she hadn’t left Negan’s side. They managed to find Dwight’s group together while lingering and looking for others. They had become somewhat of best friends since they found each other. The only problem was Y/N was head over heels in love with Negan. Unfortunately, Negan didn’t feel the same way. Instead, he seemed to be heavily enamored with Dwight’s wife Sherry. “What does she even see in Dwight? That scruffy looking motherfucker.”

“He’s the leader Negan,” she reminded him with a sigh knowing that his complaining was coming from his jealousy. “A lot of girls are into that kind of thing.”

“Yeah, but look at him and look at me,” Negan reasoned, throwing his hands up in the air while he clutched to the shotgun that was in his hands. “I’m fucking hot. He’s a scrawny little shit.”

“I don’t think she can help who she was married to before all this happened Negan. You’re right though, you’re better. All around,” Y/N agreed with him. She meant it. Obviously. She was in complete awe of the guy. One day she was hoping that he would just open his eyes and realize she was standing right there next to him for him to love. Many times in the past Negan had cracked jokes about her being hot so she thought maybe at some point she would have a chance with him. The longer she waited, the less likely it actually seemed. Maybe she wasn’t giving him the signs that she was interested. “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something and since you’re a guy, I figured maybe you would have some advice.”

“Yeah?” Negan grunted, his head lowering enough to look between the shelves while he watched Dwight and Sherry together. “What’s on your mind?”

“Well, you see…there is this guy that I like,” Y/N explained with a sigh, clutching her rifle in her fingers. Her cheeks flushed over with red when Negan finally turned his head to look at her. The way his thick eyebrows bounced up showed that he was interested in what she was saying. “I’ve liked him for a while, but no matter how much I try I just can’t seem to get his attention.”

“Why not? You’re hot. Just tell him you’re interested,” Negan suggested and she looked away from him. Clearly that wasn’t in the playing cards and she would never have the guts to do something like that. “Who is it? Is it Simon?”

“Negan,” her face scrunched up when he suggested Simon who was someone they had just picked up in the group with Dwight. An amused breath fell from her throat and Negan threw his hands up in the air. “It’s not Simon. I’m not going to tell you who it is, but…I don’t think I could tell him that I’m interested in him. He has his eye on someone else.”

“Trust me, if you tell a guy now of all times that you are interested in him, he’s going to jump at the opportunity to get his dick sucked, I promise you that,” Negan grumbled and he could see that her face flushed over making him laugh. “What’s with the blushing? Sucking a dick isn’t such a big deal.”

“Well, there is one thing…” she took in a long shallow breath making Negan’s eyebrow arch up. God, she felt pathetic admitting this to him, but she couldn’t help it. “I kind of haven’t had sex before.”

“Come on,” Negan chuckled, taking a long look at her and he shook his head. The way he laughed made her embarrassed and he nudged her with his arm. The snort he released made her feel even worse about telling him. “How old are you?”

“Okay, forget it,” she rolled her eyes and went to move forward, but Negan quickly followed her not far behind. “Just pretend I didn’t say anything.”

“I’m not making fun of you, but you’re hot and most people lose their virginities too fucking young now so I just kind of figured you’re fucking with me,” Negan insisted, biting at his bottom lip as he spoke. Y/N still didn’t seem interested in talking to him and he let out a dramatic sound. “Okay, come on. You’ve done oral though, right?”

“Something tells me that I don’t want to be talking to you about this,” she replied feeling her throat tightening while Negan looked her over with amusement. “Seriously, I’m not the seductive type that can make a man want me.”

“Well that’s bullshit because you’re fucking beautiful and any man would be lucky to have you,” Negan corrected her reaching for something from the shelves. A grunt fell from his throat as he tossed it aside and let out a loud sigh. God, if only he actually meant that. “Just tell him you’re a virgin. He’ll want you immediately.”

“Virgins aren’t a lot of people’s things Negan,” she reminded him and Negan’s nose wrinkled when she said that.

“That’s bullshit. Every man loves the idea of taking someone’s innocence and purity away. They all like that shit,” Negan reached up to brush his fingers through his dark hair with his free hand. “You might not be the best fuck he’s ever had, but the idea of popping your cherry will turn him on and he’ll want to fuck you immediately.”

“I don’t really want to be a virgin when I go to him,” she whispered and Negan’s eyebrows tensed together as he looked her over with his big, hazel eyes. “I guess I kind of want to know what I’m doing with him by the time I tell him that I like him.”

“And how do you plan on losing that virginity of yours sweetheart? Slim pickings you know,” Negan snorted, the bridge of his nose wrinkling when he spoke. “Unless, I’m sure we can find you a good cucumber around here where you can…”

“Oh shut up,” she begged hearing his laughter filling the air at her reaction. Hitting him firmly in the chest, she walked off toward the back of the store and he quickly followed after her. Entering the area where they had more shelves in the back for storage, she surveyed through the items and sighed. “We should get people back here and have them get some of this. This is good stuff.”

“I’m not making fun of you. Okay? It’s just the way I talk,” Negan reached for her after setting his shotgun down and aside. “No one is going to turn you away for being a virgin. I promise you that and like I said, if you went to the guy and told him how you felt I guarantee that no matter who he had his eye on, he would change his mind quickly because you’re a catch Y/N. Trust me.”

“I wish that were true,” she felt him reaching up to cup her face and so badly she wished that Negan would have wanted her. That he would have wanted to be with her. “Since you’re my best friend you should do me the favor of helping me with the virginity problem.”

“Oh, you don’t want me to do that,” Negan snorted, stepping back and away from her. What started off as a joke actually ended up hurting her feeling unintentionally when Negan denied her. “First of all, we’re friends. That makes that shit weird. Second, I have a huge cock. I’m the last person you want to have sex with as a virgin.”

“I don’t think it’s that big,” she laughed and Negan let out a frustrated sound.

“When have you seen my penis?” Negan scoffed and she looked down toward his groin making him turn away from her when she did. “You have no idea how big my dick is. I’ve been a gentleman and I’ve never pulled it out in front of you.”

“I’m just saying, I can’t picture it being so big to the point that it would destroy me forever,” she mocked what he had said and Negan frowned after she said that. “I just think if I lose my virginity I’d like to lose it to someone I feel comfortable with. Someone that I know and trust.”

“You trust me and you feel comfortable with me?” Negan repeated what she said and she nodded. Licking over his bottom lip, he looked around the area in the back that they were at realizing that they were still alone. “How do you want to lose your virginity?”

“How should someone lose their virginity?” she inquired, her eyebrow arching up in curiosity and Negan laughed.

“On a mattress, in a nice comfortable set of sheets with the perfect mood and setting,” Negan stammered, waving his hand around in the air while he spoke. “Unfortunately since we’re on the road and there are no mattresses for the most part, that’s kind of fucking impossible. No matter how you lose it, it’s never going to be what you deserve. The dead walking is going to make sure of that.”

“In another world maybe,” she responded with a sigh as Negan reached for her rifle and set it aside. “What are you doing?”

“We’ll see,” Negan pulled her into a corner beyond a shelf and he began unbuckling his pants making her eyes get wide. “Get on your knees.”

“What?” she laughed, tilting her head to the side while she looked him over.

“You’ve never given a blowjob before and I could use one, so I’ll help you learn that,” Negan answered, reaching for her hands, leading them toward his pants and she let out a nervous sound. “I haven’t had a release for a very long time. So if you want to learn something to get his attention, I can help you learn that.”

“Shouldn’t we kiss or something? Get the mood started?” she suggested and Negan grinned when she said it. Negan’s jaw flexed and she placed her hands over the center of his broad chest.

“The idea of getting my dick sucked already has the mood started,” Negan answered with a grunt, reaching for her palm to lead her to cup him in her hand through the denim of his jeans. “When you go to him, palm over his body with a sense of confidence. Caress over this area and rub. Wait until you feel him start to get hard and then squeeze at the length of his cock. How many men have you kissed?”

“A few?” her throat was dry while she brushed the length of her palm over Negan’s body. The way his eyes closed made her heart skip a beat before the pace of it began to pick up. A deep, raspy moan escaped Negan’s throat when she felt his body starting to harden against her touch.

“That doesn’t sound very convincing,” Negan dragged his tongue over his bottom lip and he reached out to draw his hand out over the side of her neck. His fingers hooked around the back of her neck to draw her in closer to him. The sound of her nervous breaths filled the air and Negan smirked. “Don’t be nervous. You trust me, remember?”

Before she could respond, Negan’s lips collided with hers causing her to fall in closer to him. The way he kissed her took her breath away and she eagerly kissed him back. With Negan stroking his thumb over her jawline, she found herself falling deeper into the kiss. A warmth pooled at her core and she was swooning, bad. Negan had no idea that he was the man she was in love with. This to her was like a dream come true. A breath hitched in her throat allowing a quick flick of Negan’s tongue over hers and she returned the gesture hearing him hum when she did it.

“You’ve got something going with the kissing,” he breathed against her lips, his eyes hooked on hers when he pulled back to stare at her. Leaning in, he dragged his tongue over her bottom lip hearing her whimper when he did it. Growling as Y/N squeezed at his body, Negan looked down between them and panted. “Take it out.”

“You sure?” she confirmed with him and Negan snorted.

“I’m not the innocent one here,” Negan responded with a grunt while she started to pull apart his belt. Negan leaned his left arm against the wall while watching her fingers fumbling to get the button apart. As her fingers dragged down the zipper, he closed his eyes tightly when her mouth pressed in over his jaw. The soft kisses she pressed over his jaw and toward his neck made him groan out loud. When she kissed at his earlobe and bit softly at it, it caused a shudder to fill his body. Keeping his right hand at the base of her throat, Negan stroked his thumb over the center of it and could see her lowering her head as she got his pants apart. Reaching down, she grabbed the waistband of his boxer briefs and pulled down to allow his semi-erect cock to spring free into the cool air. Immediately she reached out to wrap her palm around the shaft of his body, caressing up and down slowly. “You can be a bit rough with it. You won’t break it…”

Negan licked his lips lowering his hand that was around her neck to adjust the grip she had on his body while urging her to pump her hand over his body in a different way. Teasing his flesh over his body, Y/N could feel her body attempting to tremble, but she was doing her best to keep it together. Negan’s eyes were on her like a hawk while she touched him. When his cock was completely solid in her palm, she licked her lips and watched Negan’s nod down toward his body.

Lowering down to her knees, she felt a rush of panic filling her body. If she was awful at this, that would be what Negan remembered her for. This was very brave of her to do in the first place considering Negan was the man she was swooning over.

“It’s big, right?” Negan affirmed with her and she looked up at him with expressive eyebrows.

“With the way you were talking I was expecting a foot long,” she teased, a smile sneaking in over the corner of her lips and Negan rolled his eyes.

“That’s impossible and if it is possible, no one wants that,” Negan grunted reaching down to squeeze at the thick base of his cock. “I can say with confidence that I know I have a thick, above average sized uncut cock and I know for a fact that in your virgin pussy…it would still hurt.”

“I figure if you were good with it, it wouldn’t hurt much…right?” she confirmed watching his eyebrows arch up when she said that. Sitting up straighter on her knees, she went to lean forward, but Negan stopped her and reached out to slide his thumb in over her bottom lip.

“Take this into your mouth first,” Negan ordered, watching her lips part for him and he pushed his thumb between her lips. Softly, she sucked at his thumb before twisting her tongue around it making him hum in approval. “Good girl. Make sure to vary with your tongue, your mouth and hand. If you use all three, you’ll have the guy of your dreams buckling at the knees.”

“Yes sir,” she purred making Negan release a muted moan when she said it like she did. There was no doubt she was uncomfortable. She was on the spot and as Negan’s fingers sank into her hair, she knew it was now or never. Keeping a firm hold on his body, she took the tip of his cock into her mouth and heard him sigh heavily. It caused him to drop his head back and lick his lips. Dragging her tongue over the head of his cock felt so dirty, but she wanted to make an impression. Licking at his body, in long drawn out motions caused his grip on her hair to get tighter.

“Hollow your cheeks and drag your tongue against my cock when you pull back,” Negan grunted pushing her down his length only to allow her to pull her head back. Leading the motion a few times, Negan could tell that she understood what he wanted and attempted to repeat what he had showed her. “Very good sweetheart.���

Taking time to do what he asked of her, she could feel his hips pumping up toward her throat and she tried to focus on not gagging. Occasionally it would happen and she couldn’t stop it from being that way. When she took him as far in her throat as she could, Negan braced himself against the wall and whimpered.

“Fuck me,” he breathed out, his eyes hooking with hers and he smiled. “You’re really going all in, aren’t you?”

“I just want to make you happy,” she pulled her lips from his body with a wet sound and jerked her palm over his body that was covered in her own saliva. Kissing at the base of his cock, she kept her eyes hooked on his and shrugged. “I want to give you everything you want.”

There was something different in Negan’s face as he seemed to think about something. Going back to try to pleasure him, she gasped when she felt him tugging her back up to her feet. Licking her lips, she gave him a shocked expression and bit at her bottom lip, “Did I do something wrong?”

Quickly moving her, Negan turned her toward the shelves and reached for her hands to force them onto one of them. Shoving her pants down her legs, Negan stood behind her and pumped his hand over his length. Keeping his hand on her neck, he could hear her panicked breaths and he stepped forward. Dragging the tip of his cock through her wet folds, he heard her cry out as he did it.

“You’re fucking soaked,” Negan released himself and palmed in over her mound. She was shaking and Negan felt a chill run down his spine. Teasing his fingers over the length of her sex was his way of testing her. Circling his fingertips over her entrance, he waited until her breathing was uneven and then pressed his middle finger inside of her. The sound she made caused his cock to twitch with excitement. With how tight she was around his fingers, Negan found himself completely in awe with her. “You really are a virgin, huh?”

She didn’t have to say anything. It was obvious. Nodding, she tried to keep herself steady on her legs while Negan thrust his finger inside of her. When he added another finger, she found the sensation completely foreign and to be honest kind of uncomfortable. Clutching to the shelves, she bit down extremely hard on her bottom lip. Probably too hard.

When Negan’s fingers pulled from her body, it felt strange. The sound of Negan spitting was heard behind her and she looked over her shoulder to see Negan caressing over his length. Before she could respond, Negan was grabbing a hold of her hips, positioning her where he wanted her. Pressing his cock to her entrance, he kept an exceedingly tight grasp with his left hand on her hip while his right kept a hold of his erection.

Thrusting forward, the sound of her cry filled the air when he entered her and it was like music to his ears. The moan he let out the moment her tight body parted for him was loud enough for others to hear if they were near. Reaching around her, she pressed her hand in over Negan’s hips knowing that she wanted this, but this wasn’t exactly how she pictured losing her virginity to Negan. Taking a moment, Negan seemed to respect that she needed some time to get used to what he had put inside of her before he started to thrust his body into her time and time again.

“Fuck sweetheart,” Negan growled, lowering in closer to her so he could rest his jaw over her shoulder. Lifting his hands, he hooked his fingers with hers and heard the smacks of their skin filtering into the air while he fucked her from behind. Nuzzling his nose against the back of her neck, Negan grunted and found himself loving the firm grip her body had around his body. “You may just have the tightest pussy I’ve ever had.”

“Negan,” she cried out his name knowing that they weren’t being quiet. If someone were to come back there, it would be obvious what they were doing. The fullness she had with his cock inside of her was foreign and she was doing her best to enjoy it. It was more so the idea of who she was with that was drawing her to try and enjoy things. When he pressed his full length into her, she involuntarily reached back to push into his hip to try to get him back. “Too much.”

“It’s not too much. We just have to get you to relax,” Negan breathed against her ear, nipping at her earlobe when he reached around with his right hand to caress his fingers over her clitoris making her whine when he did it. Taking his time to work his caress over her sensitive bundle of her nerves, Negan loved the sounds he was drawing from her. When her cries became more of those of pleasure, he started rolling his hips again. “There we go.”

Within time things started feeling better as Negan angled his hips differently. She was doing her best to stay up on her legs while Negan continued to rock his hips into hers. The deep plunges his body made inside of her made her bite at her bottom lip and her soft cries filled the air. Using that as encouragement, Negan quickened the caress of his fingertips over her body and thrust his hips at the same pace.

“Let it happen,” Negan whispered when he could sense that she was holding back. “Cum for daddy.”

“Negan,” she shuddered, lowering her head and Negan grasped tightly to her body to keep her steady while he continued his motions through her orgasm. The room was spinning around her, her thighs convulsing. It didn’t stop Negan’s movements and his mouth peppered kisses over her neck. When his sharp winces followed, she could feel the pulsating of his body inside of her. It was a strange feeling but when he began to empty himself into her, she found herself panicked.

Every muscle in Negan’s body was flexing behind her. He was pressed up against her back until he finished with his orgasm. Taking a moment to stand there for them, Negan chuckled and bit firmly at the side of her neck. Looking down, Negan very slowly pulled his softening cock from her body. The dripping sounds of their fluids hitting the floor were heard and he let out a proud breath.

“Hold onto the shelves so you don’t fall,” Negan suggested as he began to pull his pants back up over his body. Pushing his cock back into his boxer briefs, Negan squeezed over his body and could see her resting her head forward against the shelves. She was still shaking and the sounds she was making showed that she was trying to catch her breath. Helping her pull her pants back up her body, Negan led her toward one of the pallets to get her to sit down and she winced. “You’re going to hurt for a while, but welcome to the world of normal. You don’t have to worry about being a virgin anymore.”

Reaching out, he urged her eyes to his and gave an arrogant bob of his head, “No one will ever be the first man to have you or to give you your first orgasm. It will always be me. I hope you always think of me with your future lovers.”

When Negan lowered in closer to her, she reached up to draw her hand over the side of his face to pull her to him. A pleased sound escaped Negan’s lips as she kissed him in a long drawn out motion, “You’re welcome…”

“Negan,” she swallowed down, pushing her forehead to his when she thought about what they did. “Should you have pulled out?”

“Nah, unfortunately I can’t have kids,” Negan informed her with a wince as he pulled his belt back together. There was a sense of sadness in her eyes as Negan shrugged his shoulders. “I tried for fucking ever before all of this to have children with Lucille. It never worked. I’m like a hundred percent certain I’m sterile.”

“Oh,” she didn’t know how to respond and Negan shrugged his shoulders. It didn’t seem to bother him that much and she bit down on her bottom lip. “Was that okay?”

“Oh yeah,” Negan reached out to squeeze at her shoulder in a supportive grasp. “I’m going to go get someone to tell them about the supplies back here. I’ll be right back.”

Nodding, Y/N lowered her head when Negan left and she swallowed down hard. Part of her was happy that Negan was her first, but the other part of her wasn’t exactly happy with how it happened. It also didn’t seem like it meant much to Negan where as it meant everything to her. Their group came in the back to get the supplies and a few of them took notice of how she seemed to be different while she sat there. Negan explained that she got ‘injured’. Other than that they didn’t really expand upon what happened. It certainly was hard to move around after what happened, so the walk back to the campsite wasn’t exactly the best.

At nightfall, Y/N had taken her sleeping bag down by the water to sit by the fire. She wanted some time to think about things alone. By asking Negan to take her virginity, she felt like she was being obvious in telling him that he was the one that she liked. Unfortunately, it didn’t really resonate with Negan that’s where she was headed with things. Pulling her legs up closer to her chest, she heard the sound of someone moving in beside her and she huffed when she saw it was Negan with his sleeping bag underneath his arm.

“Why are you taking off from the rest of the group?” Negan pondered, sitting down with Y/N after he laid out his sleeping bag beside her. The group was very far off in the distance nowhere near the water and his eyes surveyed her over carefully. “You know you shouldn’t be alone. One of the dead could come out of nowhere and gnaw on you.”

“I’m not sure that would really bother anyone,” she chuckled and Negan frowned as he leaned in to rest his head on her shoulder.

“It would bother me for sure. You’re my best friend here,” Negan reminded her and let out a hesitant breath. “In fact, I feel like you’re the only person that can stand me right now.”

“Well people are stupid and they don’t know what they’re missing out on,” she reached out to pat him on the thigh and he tilted his head to the side. “I just needed some time to myself to think about things. You didn’t have to come down here if you didn’t want to.”

“I wanted to,” Negan assured her, dropping back against the sleeping bags. Stretching out his body, Negan looked up at the sky and urged her to lay back with him. “I’m sorry I kind of fucked up your first time. I got carried away.”

“It wasn’t fucked up,” she retorted with sigh as she rested back on the sleeping bag. Negan reached for her hand to grab a hold of it and she felt him bringing it up to his lips to press a kiss over the back of it. “I’m sure with this day in age, it was a decent one.”

“Maybe we should have a do-over,” Negan stated, his expression staying the same while he looked up at the stars. Looking over at Negan, her eyes narrowed and he offered up a bright smile. “Maybe pretend that now is your first time. Under the stars, beside the fire. That sounds more like the right way to do things.”

“Stop, they could see us,” she laughed and Negan shook his head. “Plus, you don’t want to do that again.”  

“I actually totally do. Also, they only care about themselves,” Negan sat up and reached for his shirt to pull it from his body. Tossing the material aside, he saw her eyes surveying over his slender form. Starting to undo his pants, Negan got the rest of his clothes off except for his boxer briefs and urged her up onto her knees. “I think it’s only right to do after I fucked up so bad earlier. Don’t be shy now. We fucked in that store and everyone could have heard us.”

“To be fair, I never thought it would be going that far,” she reminded him and watched as Negan undid his sleeping back to spread it completely out.

He did the same with hers before helping to get her out of her clothes. It seemed like Negan didn’t give a shit if anyone saw them as he tugged down his boxer briefs. Yet the whole time the only thing she could think about was the rest of their group seeing them. When Negan leaned her back against the sleeping bag, she watched him pull the sleeping bag in over him as he lowered down over her making her let out a shuddering breath.  

“See, now we’re hidden enough for you,” Negan lowered himself over her, bracing himself on his elbows. Dipping down, his lips pressed in over hers and he could feel her palms sliding up over the length of his back. Bracing his weight on his left arm, Negan reached down between them and heard the nervous sound she let out. “You’re already been through the hard part. It won’t get any worse than that moment.”

“It’s still very new for me,” she swallowed down and Negan smiled, lowering his forehead to hers. Instead of going right into it like he had planned, she could feel him touching and caressing her to get her prepared. Lifting up, she kissed him and was eager to have some kind of bond between them. The fact that Negan was willing to do this again was a good thing she thought. That meant maybe he felt for her the way she felt for him. It just took what happened at the store for things to work out. Pulling her mouth from his, she stared him in the eyes and stroked over the side of his face. “You are an amazing man.”

Instead of responding, Negan snickered and his nose wrinkled. Shuddering, she felt Negan reaching between them again. Tracing his tip through her folds, Negan took his time to watch her reaction to it. When she was shaking, Negan took that as initiative to lead his body toward her entrance. Pushing his hips forward, he heard her whimper out and his forehead creased. His jaw lowered and he braced his palms beside her when he entered her fully.

“Fuck,” Negan grunted, lowering his head to nuzzle his nose against her neck. Clutching to Negan’s hair she could feel his thrusts were more careful and drawn out. Much like he had said that he wanted to do. The closeness of their bodies underneath the sleeping bags as well as doing this under the night sky was perfect. This was so good that it almost felt like dream of hers because she would have never pictured having Negan like this. Negan’s head lifted and he stared down at her trying to see if she was enjoying what they were doing. “Better?”

“Much,” she whimpered when he started to quicken the rolling of his hips toward her. Kissing Negan in this position was so much better than earlier in the day. The way he was looking at her, touching her and making sure that every movement was to her liking was amazing. “Negan…”

“Shh…enjoy the moment,” Negan hummed against her lips before sliding his lips to her jawline to press wet kisses over her flesh.

Compared to their first time together, this was exceedingly better. When they had finished Negan had held her in his arms until both of them had fallen asleep. That’s how it had been multiple times after that moment. They would spend all of their time together hanging out and would fall into each other most nights.

Even though he hadn’t said it or they hadn’t really acknowledged it, things felt like they were dating. That’s how close they often were. It was special for Y/N because she felt like she was getting to have a relationship with Negan and she cared greatly for him.

After some time, Negan had won over the trust of the group they were in and people had started looking to Negan instead of Dwight to be in charge after some close calls. It was nice getting to see Negan get the attention that he deserved for saving people and she was proud of him, but it meant getting to spend less time with him.

While she sat sitting alone to herself, she wished she would see Negan since it was her birthday. Reading through the latest book that she had found, she let out a gasp when someone hopped down beside her. A bright smile spread over her features when she realized it was Negan beside her. His dimples sank in when he saw that he had shocked her and he chuckled.

Negan reached inside of his pocket to pull out a cupcake that was wrapped in a package. Ripping it open, Negan held his hand up to motion her to wait a moment as he pulled out a candle to stick it in the middle. She couldn’t help, but giggle when he did it and her eyes connected with his, “What is this?”

“It’s not a homemade cake, but it’s the best I could do right now. I had to pocket this the moment I found it just for this moment,” Negan’s eyebrows arched and he could see that she was shocked with the gesture. A proud smile was over Negan’s face knowing how touched she seemed to be by it. Reaching into his pocket he grabbed the lighter and lit the candle before holding it out close to her. “It’s your birthday. Make a wish.”

“You remembered?” she confirmed and Negan nodded, his face scrunching when she seemed surprised. “This is incredibly nice Negan.”

“The wind is going to blow out the candle and then your wish is going to go completely out the window,” Negan teased and she chuckled before doing as he asked of her. After she blew out the candle, Negan could see that her eyes closed and he took advantage. Moving in to kiss her, he felt her shocked against the movement and when they parted Negan let out an amused breath. “Now what was your other wish?”

“God,” she rolled her eyes, letting out a laugh when Negan moved in to kiss her a few more times playfully.  Raising his finger, Negan motioned her to wait as he went over to his bag that was in the distance. Noticing that he had an old Polaroid camera in his hand she could see him swiftly moving toward her. “What is that?”

“I hid these when I picked them up so no one knew I had the good stuff,” Negan looked over his shoulder to make sure they were alone. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her in closer to him and cuddled his head up next to hers. “We’re going to take one…so smile…”

Quickly rising up the Polaroid camera, Negan leaned in to press a kiss in over her cheek to snap a photo of the two of them together. When it came out, he handed it over to her to hold before attempting to take another one. For this one she reached out with her free hand to press in over his chin to pull him closer to her so she could kiss his cheek. Snorting, he grabbed the next photo that came out and went to put the camera back in his bag.

“Now that one is yours…and this one is mine,” Negan waved the photo to try and get it to develop faster and a chuckle fell from his throat. Dropping down beside her again, Negan made sure that he was close to her and could see that she was eyeing over the photo. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re cute,” her eyes met Negan’s. He was watching her closely clearly trying to read how she was feeling. “You know how much I care about you, right?”

“Of course I do,” Negan winked and nudged her playfully with his elbow, “You’re my best friend.”

“I think we’re a bit beyond best friends,” she suggested and Negan shrugged his shoulders before looking down to the photo he had taken for himself.

“I have one more thing that I have planned for tonight,” Negan started to talk to only hear someone call out to him and he looked over his shoulder to see someone in the group waving him down. “Being the leader now sucks because you can’t get ten seconds to fucking breathe, but go to apartment two-c in about two hours, okay? I have some things I have to talk about with the rest of the guys.”

“Why?” her nose wrinkled and Negan hopped up from where he was sitting. He slid his picture that he had into his pocket and looked back toward the person that was waving him down again.

“It’s a birthday thing, so just do it,” Negan ordered, snapping his fingers at her and she shrugged her shoulders. She was completely enamored with Negan and loved him. There was no doubt in that. Whatever he had planned, he seemed pretty proud of, so it excited her.

Waiting those two hours, she headed to the apartment building that they had set up outside of. Moving inside, she went upstairs to the second floor and found the room that he had asked her to come to. Pushing open the door, she let out a nervous sound and saw that he had candles lit in the apartment making her chuckle.

“Negan?” she called out looking in the bedroom hoping to find Negan there when she couldn’t find him in the rest of the apartment. There was a box on the bed that said open me written on it.

Moving forward, she grabbed a hold of it and saw that there was a keychain inside of it. Picking it up, she saw that it was one that had stars on it with the words ‘you are my shining star’ on it. A laugh fell from her throat when she looked it over and ran her thumb over the front of it. She wondered if he had grabbed it for her since the second time that they were together they had done it under the stars together and he made a rather big deal about it.

The sound of something knocking over was heard in the bathroom and she looked over her shoulder toward it. Going to the door, she pushed it open slowly to hear the sounds of loud breaths filling the air. When her eyes fell upon what was inside, she felt her heart breaking.

Negan had Sherry propped up against the sink and her arms were hooked around Negan’s shoulders. Negan’s pants were at his ankles while he thrust his hips up toward her again and again. There was a sinking feeling in her gut while Sherry’s cries filled the small bathroom. Stepping back, Y/N headed for the door and felt her chest aching. She knew that Negan had originally had a thing for Sherry, but she thought at this point after weeks of them being together that Negan actually liked her. For some reason she pictured in her mind that they were dating and they were together. With all the time they had been spending together and the way that Negan had been treating her she just thought more was going on.

Why would he tell her to come to the apartment? Was he planning on hurting her the whole time? All she knew was that she was hurt and broken hearted after what she saw. There was an overwhelming amount of emotions flooding over her as she made it back outside and went to sit on the brick wall that surrounded the apartment building they were at.

About twenty minutes later, she heard someone calling out her name and she glanced over her shoulder to see that Negan was moving out toward her. Ignoring him, she adjusted her position back to where she was before. She hated him right now and with how upset she was, she didn’t even want to see his face.

“You will never guess what just happened,” Negan hopped up on the brick wall with her. There a giant smile spread out over his features, but when he saw her crying he let out a tense breath. A nervous laugh fell from Negan’s throat when he looked her over. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Something tells me we’re both reacting over the same thing,” she responded looking at the keychain that was in her hand that Negan had obviously found for her. Lifting her head, her eyes connected with his and she could see that he was genuinely confused. “You’re such an asshole.”

“What?” Negan stammered, a grunt falling from his throat when she slid down from the wall. A moment later she threw the keychain at him and it hit him in the center of the chest before falling into his lap. “Why are you acting like this?”

“I’m so stupid,” she walked off in the distance toward the field that was to the left of the apartment building. Negan hopped down to follow her toward the woods where she was headed. When she got a bit ahead, she felt Negan grabbing a hold of her wrist to tug her back to him. “She doesn’t even like you. You know that? She only fucked you because now you have power. Before people started looking up to you she didn’t even look at you.”

“This is about Sherry?” Negan confirmed with a snort and he watched her folding her arms out in front of her chest. Looking down at the keychain, he held it up and shrugged his shoulders. “She saw me heading into the building and then followed me I guess. I was setting up the thing for your birthday and…”

Negan looked down at the keychain that was in his hand and he lifted his gaze to hers, “Didn’t like your gift?”

“It lost its special meaning when I saw the two of you together,” she tried to leave, but she felt Negan forcing her against one of the trees that was behind her to keep her in place. Wincing, she could feel the bark scraping her arm and Negan loosened his grip when he realized he had hurt her. “Let me go Negan. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore."

“You’re my best friend,” Negan reminded her and his eyebrows bounced up. A laugh fell from her throat when she started crying again and it was clear that Negan was sincerely confused which made this worse. “I don’t understand why you are acting this way? I thought you would be happy for me. You know how I felt about Sherry. I don’t get why you are acting like this.”

“Which makes this so much worse Negan. You really are just a massive piece of shit aren’t you?” she shoved into his chest and Negan let out a grunt when she hit him. She hit him a few more times in the chest and Negan stared down at her with a shocked expression. “I can’t believe I saw more in you than there actually was. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. I hate you.”

“Now is not the time to be a bitch to me when I’m in charge,” Negan muttered as she started to walk away and Negan’s eyebrows were furrowed when she turned on her heel to look back at him. “You decide to do this to me when things start going right for me? Are you jealous?”

“Wow,” she let out a shocked sound when Negan threw the keychain he had gotten her aside in the dirt. “You think this is me jealous that you are in charge now? You are so blind and stupid if that’s really where you think is coming from.”

There was a moment of silence between them and she reached up to wipe at her face. Shaking her head, she moved to leave him and Negan grabbed her again, pulling her to him. A gasp fell from her throat when she fell into his chest and Negan grabbed a tight hold of her jaw. Digging his fingers into her jaw, he forced her to look at him and he felt her fighting to get out of his grasp until he demanded her attention with the way he grabbed a hold of her.

“I would highly rethink anything you are considering doing or saying to me in the next few minutes,” Negan warned her and he could feel her tears against his fingertips while he turned her head to the side. “I’ve been good to you when I didn’t need to be, so I’d show a little gratitude toward me if you want to still be part of my life.”

Trying to pull herself from his grasp, she winced when his fingers dug deeper into her flesh. The way his angry eyes were hooked on her made her heart hammer inside of her chest. How could he be so oblivious to the fact that she was in love with him and she thought they were actually dating?

Finally, he released her with a shove and it caused her to stumble over her feet making her fall to the ground. Negan stood before her, his eyes narrowing while she slowly pulled herself up into a sitting position on the ground. Rubbing at the side of her face where he had been grabbing her, she felt the tears continue to burn at her eyes knowing that Negan had turned out to be everything that she thought he wasn’t.

Getting up from the ground, she said nothing more and started walking away from Negan toward where her things were. The sound Negan let out showed that he was angry with her for just walking away instead of saying anything more. That night when they were all surrounded by the fire for dinner she had seen Negan glaring out at her and she tried to avoid eye contact with him. It broke her that instead of understanding that he hurt her, he just assumed that she was jealous of him becoming the leader of the group.

After that night, things progressed quickly for Negan. They had found The Sanctuary and Negan had built his team of Saviors. At some point Y/N had thought that Negan would eventually realize what happened and he would come to her to talk to her, but he never did. They never talked after that moment and when he would be around he would never acknowledge her. Somehow she had ended up being one of his lower ranked Saviors and watching Negan marry woman after woman hurt. Especially considering the special circumstances that he hadn’t even clearly known about with her.

Multiple times she had tried to get a meeting with him through Simon. The first few times Simon had seen if Negan would talk to her, but every single time Simon would come back and tell her that Negan didn’t want to talk to her or he was too busy.

After getting pretty desperate she had gone to Negan’s office one night hoping to be able to talk to Negan about some things. She wouldn’t have done if it wasn’t absolutely necessary, but she knew that she had to talk to him. Going at night she assumed that he would be alone, but she let out a disappointed sound when she saw Simon standing near the door talking to Negan. When she made it near the door, Simon heard her steps and the look he gave her when he saw her made him let out a disappointed sound.

“I told you, he doesn’t have time to talk to you,” Simon grunted, stepping into the hallway to reach for her arm to tug her away from the door. “If you have a question, you can come to me later and I will answer it for you.”

“Simon, I get it. I just need to talk to him, okay?” she looked to the door to see Negan sitting at the desk with an amused expression. Instead of being the laid back man she had grown to love, his once messy hair was now slicked back and he had an arrogant smile over his features. “It’s important.”

“Nothing is important enough for you to continuously ignore what I’ve been telling you,” Simon grunted, shoving her toward the railing that surrounded the second floor for people to look down to the first. “You don’t get to just demand time with Negan. If Negan wants to talk to you, he’ll come to you. It doesn’t work the other way around.”

“Negan, please…” she looked beyond Simon toward Negan that was watching the two of them together. It seemed like he was amused with what was happening and she felt her heart breaking knowing that this was a man she was once close to. “I just…”

“I said fuck off,” Simon shoved her again before reaching for her wrist to grasp a tight hold of it. It made her wince with how hard he was holding onto it. The yank he gave her made her cry out as he pulled her away from Negan’s office. “I’ll be right back boss man. This one can’t seem to take a hint.”

“I just have to talk to him about something important,” she tried to reason, but Simon continued to drag her toward the steps to go to the first floor even knowing that her room was on the second floor.

“How many times have I fucking told you no? Huh?” Simon tugged her and she felt her chest aching while he glared down angrily at her. “Maybe some time in one of the dark rooms will make you realize what you’re doing wrong.”

“Simon,” Negan’s voice boomed in behind them and Simon looked over his shoulder to see that Negan was standing in the doorway. “I’ll give her five minutes.”

“Kneel,” Simon ordered with Negan standing before them and when she didn’t she felt Simon digging into her shoulder to get her to lower down. When she didn’t bow for him, Simon forced her to lower her head and Negan’s laugh filled the air. In the past if someone would have manhandled her like that she was certain that Negan would have kicked their ass and not thought twice about it, but now he was laughing. In the past he had saved her more times that she cared to admit, but now he was just as bad as the men he had saved her from if not worse. When Negan started heading back toward his office, Simon allowed her to get up and he shoved her toward the office. When Simon pushed her inside, Negan waved his fingers in the air for Simon to shut the door and Simon obeyed.

Watching Negan saunter over to his seat, she felt her throat going dry as he set Lucille against the side of the desk and then dropped down in his seat. Finally, Negan’s eyes met hers and he simply shrugged his shoulders, “What’s so damn important that you’ve tried to force yourself in here multiple times?”

“We just…we need to talk,” she informed him and Negan gave her a dramatic expression as if motioning her to continue. “I know I upset you a few months ago, but you’ve been avoiding me and refuse to talk to me. I didn’t know how to talk to you. I didn’t think you would just straight up pretend like I didn’t even exist anymore.”

“You don’t to me,” Negan interrupted her, his eyebrows arching up as he spoke and he bit into his bottom lip. “You’re just someone that exists to make the process of this place continue to work. You understand? You’re a resource.”

“That’s not how things used to be,” she swallowed down hard and saw the way that Negan gave her a sideways glance.

“What are you trying to say?” Negan laughed, propping his feet up on his desk while Y/N stared out at him. “I really haven’t had the time to hang out if that’s what you’re talking about. I know we were close before I became the leader, but things change. You know?”

“I know that and I understand that. I know you’re busy,” she knew that she didn’t want to fight with him. She just had to talk to him and tell him something. “What I kind of have to talk about was around that time when were in that wholesale store together.”

She hoped in reminding him of their time together, he would actually start to look at her in a better light. Negan clasped his hands together in his lap. An arrogant smile tugged at his lips when his eyebrows tensed together.

“You’re talking about when I fucked you and took your virginity?” Negan responded and she felt her heart sink when he said it like that that. Nodding, she bit at her bottom lip and sighed heavily. Having him talk like that caused her face to flush over and he acted like it was no big deal. “What about it? Are you just looking to knock booty again?”

“No, there are just a few things about that time that I think we need to talk about. I think I need to be honest with you about something from back then and then you should know something kind of important,” she realized that this was going to be hard because she had never been fully honest with Negan in the past things about things because she was nervous how he would react. “See...that day I told you that I liked someone, I wasn’t completely honest with you because it was you that I liked Negan. I was just nervous to tell you. I didn’t know how you would handle it, so I said what I did. You were the person that I really wanted to be with.”

“Well that’s a smart way to get someone to fuck you if they are the person you are attracted to,” Negan’s face scrunched up and he sat there waiting for her to say something more. “And?”

“I just kind of thought after that moment in the wholesale store that the two of us were dating,” she explained, her voice stammering as she spoke. It was hard to keep eye contact with Negan because his blank stare was almost making her feel small. “We were always together. You kept doing nice things and we were together…a lot. So when I saw you with Sherry on my birthday...”

The smile slowly faded from Negan’s features and his eyebrows bounced up, “That’s why you were a bitch toward me.”

“Within reason I think,” she muttered and Negan snorted before starting to laugh. Negan lowered his head and pinched at the bridge of his nose.

“Well, your actions make sense now that I know you were jealous over me fucking Sherry on your birthday,” Negan almost added emphasis to his words to dig the knife deeper. It made her shift on her feet uncomfortable and he dragged his tongue over his bottom lip. “I don’t know what made you think we were dating though.”

“It was the way you were with me, the things you said,” she recalled how amazing he had been with her after they had slept together the second time.

“Did I ever say we were dating?” Negan inquired, his face turning somewhat red as he stared out at her. Lowering her head, she felt stupid when he said that and realized that he was trying to dig things in harder. “Speak when you are spoken to. Answer me. Did I ever say we were dating?”

“No,” she answered, her eyes burning with the way he was talking to her.

“No, I didn’t,” Negan repeated with a scowl and he dropped his feet down from the desk to place his hands out over the top of it. “In order for people to be dating, you both have to kind of acknowledge it, right?”

“Negan…” she felt a tear sliding down the side of her face and she tried to think of something to say, but was lost for words.

“Right?!” Negan demanded her response and she bit at her bottom lip.

“Right,” she repeated what he wanted her to say.

“So if someone was at fault for thinking there was something more between us…was it me? Or was it you?” Negan grunted and she felt like her body was on fire while he continued to belittle her. The sound of his hand slamming against the top of his desk was heard and it made her jump. “If you continue to avoid answering my questions…”

“It was my fault,” she whispered and even though she didn’t want to be she felt tears sliding down her face. More than anything she wanted to act like this wasn’t bothering her, but it was.

“So I didn’t deserve you treating me like that? Did I?” Negan snapped, but she refused to look at him. Standing up from the desk, Negan moved around and reached for her jaw to force her eyes to connect with his.

“No, you didn’t,” she told him what he wanted to hear and he nodded slowly. The way his jaw was flexing made her uncomfortable. “I just thought after that day you might try to talk to me, but the more power you got the more things changed. You married multiple women and…”

“Get to the point. You’re boring me at this point,” Negan rolled his eyes and firmly released her jaw to move back toward his desk to sit on the edge of it.

“I don’t know, I just thought you might have missed me,” she looked down at herself knowing that she may have not been as much of a looker as she was when they first got together. Things had been rough with being one of his lower level saviors. Her clothes weren’t great and it wasn’t like Negan provided her with things that would draw her to be appealing to him. “That what we had might have been special to you and you would have eventually asked me to…”

“Oh, I see,” Negan chuckled realizing where she was going with this. “You think that the two of us have some kind of connection. You think we have a bond.”

She said nothing, but Negan had a rumble of laughter fall from his throat and he grasped tightly to the edge of the desk, “Back then, I hadn’t had sex since before Lucille died. I would have stuck my cock in any hole that was asking and you were pretty much begging. Now that I’m in charge, I have girls lining up to be my wife. They like the benefits. They like the power. I get to fuck any pussy that I want. I’m not desperate like I was then.”

“Desperate?” she repeated his words and he smiled brightly while nodding once. “So are you saying that I’m not someone that you would want to be with?”

“You’re just not my type,” Negan grunted in almost a vicious tone, his nose wrinkling when he looked her over. “I fucked you because you were there. We didn’t have a bond. We didn’t have something special and I’m honored that your little crush was on me, but what did you expect when you came in here today? That I was going to admit to you that my feelings were the same and I would beg you to be one of my wives too? I didn’t even make you one of my higher up saviors. Fuck, I haven’t even thought about you since that day you got upset with me. Now if you want to fuck again, I’ll consider it, but other than that...I think we’re done here.”

“Okay,” she felt her bottom lip trembling hearing that from Negan she was pretty much undesirable to him. “There is something though…”

“Can’t you take a hint?” Negan growled, his voice getting raspy as he continued to speak. “What does it take to get through that thick skull of yours that I’m not fucking interested? I never was. I never will be and there is nothing you can do to change that. If you want me to fuck you, get over here and bend over the desk and I’ll fuck you if it makes you feel better.”

Gradually Negan pulled apart his belt and opened up his pants, “If it makes you stop bothering me and my men, I’m willing to do it. To leave you on a fucking high since you’re pretty much obsessed with me. You can think of it as a gift from me. Otherwise…piss off.”

“Wow,” she let out a shocked sound when Negan pulled his jacket from his shoulders and tossed it to the couch that was in the corner of his office. Negan unzipped his pants and pushed them down his hips making her let out a disgusted breath. “Do you really think I’m that pathetic that I would want to fuck you after everything you just said to me?”

There was a long silence between them. A smirk pressed in over Negan’s features and his right eyebrow arched up, “Yes? Yes, I do.”

“Being in charge really changed you, didn’t it? You’re not the person that saved me. That was a good man. The man you are now…” she felt her heart hammering inside of her chest with how angry she was at Negan.

“You have no idea the man I was. I was lonely and would have saved anyone at the time to make sure that I had someone with me. Fuck girl. You knew from the start that I had a thing for Sherry. You were just a pussy for me until I got what I really wanted,” Negan looked down toward his body and he grabbed a firm hold of his member. “I bet I was the last person to fuck you, right?”

Her eyes lowered down toward the ground and he could see her hand sliding in over her abdomen making him snort, “Listen, I’m doing you a favor here while also doing one for myself if this makes you finally leave me alone. Get over here and bend over that desk.”

“I think we’re done here,” he could see that she was still upset with him and her jaw tightened as she spoke. “I’m sorry for wasting your time tonight.”

“You’re fucking joking,” Negan scoffed when she went to head for the door and he reached for his pants to pull them back up over his hips. “You come in here telling me that you were hoping that I would make you one of my wives. Looking at me with those doe eyes hoping that I fucking loved you and you’re just going to walk away?”

“Yes,” she simply answered and an angered sound fell from Negan’s throat as he zipped his pants back up before he pulled them together. “I may be pathetic, but I’m not that pathetic.”

“You know I notice you’re getting a little swelled,” Negan muttered as she reached for the doorknob and she stopped in her tracks when he said that. “It’s making me think you have too much food available to you. Maybe you could stand to go on the points system for a little bit so you can get back to your previous look. My saviors should be fit, not getting fat. It gives the wrong look.”

The door pushed open and Y/N felt her blood boiling when Negan moved back toward his desk to sit down.

“You know that’s the whole reason I came here,” she started and Simon moved in behind her, but Negan was done with her as he waved his hand in the air.

“We’re done here,” Negan scoffed making her let out a tense breath when Simon grabbed her to pull her away from the door. “Simon, make sure that it’s made known that Y/N is now going to be working for points. Start her on level one.”

“What?” she snapped seeing Negan lifting his eyes at her, “that’s what someone makes when they first get here and are on probation. I’ve been here since the beginning and I need supplies Negan, you don’t understand.”

“Get her out of here,” Negan demanded and Simon grabbed her before she could say another word, slamming the door shut before she could bicker with Negan anymore.

Once Simon got her away from the door, she started to head for the steps and Simon followed her. When she went to head for the door that went to the outside he grabbed a tight hold of her to stop her, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I need some air or I’m going to explode. Did me getting demoted make it so I can’t go outside anymore?” she snapped and Simon grunted as she walked outside. Following her out, Simon stood at the stairs and she was pissed that he was watching her. “Why are you following me?”

“People do stupid things when they are angry,” Simon answered and he heard the sound of commotion inside the building. A frustrated sound fell from his throat and he threw his finger up in the air. “You better stay right there.”

“Where am I going to go?” she threw her hands up in the air and could see that Simon was contemplating not going back in, but he did.

It wasn’t actually until Simon said that to her that she was considering leaving. There had to be a place better than this. Somewhere that she would be able to survive without having to deal with the past of the hurt that she would always be reminded of here. Everything that was important to her, she had in her pockets. Everything else she would certainly be caught trying to escape with them if she decided to leave after grabbing her things from her room, so she left them. Surveying the area, she made sure that that the saviors were looking elsewhere when she managed to climb up over the gates surrounding The Sanctuary. She had to be careful not to hurt herself on the barbed wire, but still had managed to knick herself when she went over. Cussing to herself, she ran as fast as she could toward the wooded area to attempt to get out of sight. If someone caught her sneaking out, she knew it wouldn’t be good. She had heard rumors, but she just wanted to be gone and away from Negan. When she had finally made it into the wooded area, she ripped a part of her jacket to tie it around the area she cut from escaping. Doing her best to make it through the darkness, she relied on the moon to move through the woods to the best of her ability. All she had was a knife and she realized how stupid at this point it was for her to actually escape. Back at The Sanctuary she had a room, but being stuck with Negan just felt wrong.

All night she walked and by morning she had found a tree to sit down by to get some rest. There was a sense of regret that had flooded through her because she didn’t know what she was going to do. She had responsibilities and not being able to find any other civilization made her nervous. And she knew how people were.

“Where the fuck could she have gone?” Simon’s voice boomed and she scrambled to hide herself in one of the bushes. “Negan is going to fucking cut my balls off if I don’t find her.”

“You shouldn’t have taken your eyes off of her,” Dwight’s voice responded with a snort. “You knew better than to leave an emotional woman alone.”

“Things were happening and we just need to find her. If we don’t come back with her after he ordered us to find her, I’m dead,” Simon groaned and she could feel herself shaking. “I’m going to kill this bitch when we get her back to The Sanctuary myself for causing me so much fucking trouble. I can’t wait to put her on the damn fence with all the others…”

A flood of panic rushed through Y/N when she realized what happened to those that escaped from The Sanctuary when they were caught. The sound of Dwight snorting was heard and she attempted to stay exceedingly still, “Negan doesn’t do that to women.”

“I think this woman would be an exception, she had him fucking pissed off last night,” Simon retorted surveying the area and he let out a frustrated sound. “Do you remember when we were just that small group? I swore the two of them were together, but…”

“Does it matter?” Dwight snorted and Simon groaned. The sound of something rattling was heard and she noticed that her canteen had slid out. “What was that?”

Simon started walking down the hill toward her and she cringed knowing that in no time he would find her. Wincing, she waited until the sound of something else drew Simon to look over his shoulder and he started heading the other way. Sliding out from the brushes, she went to leave only to feel someone grab her by the shoulder. A pair of blue eyes were locked on hers and she felt her heart pounding inside of her chest. The curly, short haired man motioned for her to be quiet and she realized he must have been the one to make the noise to get Simon away. Following the man through the woods, she stayed quiet until they showed up at the gates of a place called Alexandria.

“What is this?” she muttered and the man looked to her with an arched brow. “Who are you?”

“My name is Aaron,” he placed his hand over the center of his chest and he looked back toward the walls that surrounded the town that was inside. “How many walkers have you killed?”

“I lost count at this point,” she was honest knowing that she had gone through so much in the short amount of time.

“How many people have you killed?” Aaron poked and she let out a shuddering breath before shaking her head.

“None,” she was honest and swallowed down hard knowing that it likely made her look pathetic since she wasn’t much of a fighter. “Why?”

“Then welcome to our community,” Aaron whistled and someone opened the doors allowing her in.

After that moment she had become part of the community of Alexandria. Thankfully she had been able to avoid Negan when he had found Alexandria and things were great until they had Negan prisoned in Alexandria after they had captured Negan. She worked so hard to avoid seeing Negan, but when they ordered her to take him his food one day; she knew that she had no choice because everyone else was busy.

Muttering to herself over and over, she told herself that it would be fine. It had been too long. Negan wouldn’t even know who she was. It had been years. All she had to do was give him his food and leave. She repeated that like a mantra. Once she headed down the stairs, she could see Negan slouched over on his cot. The look of him was nothing like she was used to with his long beard and his hair that had been cut to a mess. Someone at Alexandria likely had done that haircut for him in a rush without a care if they were nicking Negan’s flesh.

Keeping her head low, she put the tray of food on the ground for Negan before his cell. Negan lifted his head and she hoped that he just wouldn’t notice her. Attempting to turn on her heel, she heard the sound of his breathing change, “Y/N?”

Immediately regretting her decision not to throw this task off on someone else, she watched Negan slowly get up from the cot and move to the bars. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Negan’s long, slender fingers wrapping around the bars and he let out a desperate sound when his eyes met hers, “God, it is you. I thought you were dead.”

“Nope, I’m alive,” she simply stated and Negan’s eyes were big. There were multiple cuts and bruises on Negan’s face and she had a hard time looking at him. “So are you.”

“I don’t know for how much longer,” Negan stammered, his eyebrows arched and it was clear that he was full of remorse. Negan had gotten much skinnier than what she was used to and remembered. Instead of sticking around, she knew it would be for the best if she left.

“You should eat,” she attempted to leave, but Negan reached through the bars and grabbed a tight hold of her wrist to get her to stop from leaving.

“You have to help me,” Negan pleaded, his eyes hooked on hers and he could see the uncomfortable look over her face. “Please. I can’t keep living like this. They beat on me. No one talks to me. No one should have to live like this. Please help me.”

“I don’t think I could,” she explained seeing that Negan’s eyes were full of hope after he had realized he knew her.

“Come on, we were friends,” Negan clutched to the bars, his eyes pleading with her. Offering up a weak smile, he attempted to reach out again to grasp at her fingers, but she pulled away from him. “You have to feel some kind of connection to me, right? I was the guy to take your virginity. Remember? We had something special. The two of us had a bond when this whole thing started. You were in love with me. I can’t live like this Y/N. Please help me.”  

There was a silence that filled the air around them and suddenly she was having flashes of the last time that Negan had spoken with her in his office. The way he belittled her and down talked her still resonated deeply with her and she still remembered those words he told her. It left her bitter and angry toward him.  

“Funny how that’s your story now that you have nothing and no one,” she bit at her bottom lip watching the hopeful expression slowly leaving Negan’s eyes. “You fucked me because I was just there. You were desperate. We didn’t have a bond. We didn’t have something special. Do these words stick with you Negan?”

“I was being an asshole that day because I was still mad at you for abandoning me. I thought you were my best friend and you got pissed at me. I realize that I should have been more caring about your feelings when you were telling me how you felt, but at the time when we were together I just thought we were friends that were sleeping together,” Negan attempted to explain with a grunt, his eyes still desperate for her to help him. “All I wanted was Sherry at that point and then when you abandoned me for getting the one thing I wanted. I just got so angry at you that I was treating you like shit, but after thinking about it…after losing you I knew the way I treated you was wrong.”

“You didn’t lose me because you didn’t want me in the first place,” she corrected him and Negan frowned when she said that.

“I didn’t think that you were in love with me, but after that day you told me how you felt, I thought back on it and I realize you were right that there was something special between the two of us,” Negan assured her and attempted to reach for her fingers to squeeze at them. “I didn’t mean what I said Y/N. I didn’t realize you were going to run away from me. I’m sorry for what I said. My relationship with you was very important to me. I love you. I can tell by the way you look at me that you still love me too.”

This was everything she had ever wanted to hear from him in the past. This was kind of what she had hoped for when she talked to him at The Sanctuary, but she knew the kind of manipulator Negan had become. He was the master of it.

“That’s where you’re wrong Negan,” she looked down toward his fingers that were hooked with hers and she shook her head slowly. Pulling her hand from his she stepped back toward the door to his cell and shrugged her shoulders. “You’re just not my type.”

“Y/N?” Negan called out her name as she headed for the door leaving him with what he had said to her back then. When she closed the door to his cell she could hear him screaming her name and the word please afterwards. It sound like he was sobbing, but she didn’t care. Not after all he had put her through during those few months at The Sanctuary.

Everything was fine for years after that. They never pushed her to have to see Negan again and she lived life the best possible way she could. Six years had passed and Y/N had found herself coming home late after working all day. Moving upstairs toward her room, she checked on something before heading toward her room. When she pushed open the door, a gasp fell from her lips when she saw Negan standing in her bedroom at her dresser. There was something he was holding in his fingertips and when his eyes met hers, she could see the anger that was there.

Turning the Polaroid that he had in his fingers, she could see that it was the photo that Negan had taken of them on her birthday that he had given her. It was something that she had kept on the mirror of her dresser to remind her of a day when she felt happy and hopeful about her future. Negan lifted his other hand and showed that he had the keychain he had given her that he had originally thrown in the dirt wrapped around his middle finger.

“I’m just not your type, huh?” Negan dropped what he was holding and swiftly moved forward to reach for her. She attempted to move, but he grabbed a tight hold of her and wrapped his arms around her from behind so she couldn’t escape. “You’re so fucking full of shit. I fucking hurt your feelings and you let me rot in that cell for six years because of it. When this whole fucking time you were still fucking in love with me.”

“Negan,” she whimpered feeling his hand wrapping around her mouth to keep her quiet. The way she struggled and he fought her back made her panic. How had Negan escaped his cell? Her eyes met Negan’s in the mirror of her dresser set. With his buzzed hair and the angry way his eyebrows were arched, he looked like a completely different man to her.

“I would have never left you to rot like that,” Negan growled against the side of her neck. Before he could do anything further the sound of her bedroom door being pushed open was heard and Negan looked over his shoulder.

“Mom?” a voice filled the air and Negan lifted his eyes to see a young girl standing at the door holding a teddy bear in her arms. The sight of the little girl made Negan let her go and when he did she immediately moved for her daughter. “What’s going on?”

“Mommy’s friend was just playing with her,” she hushed her daughter looking back at Negan who was staring out at them together. There was apprehension in her daughter’s body while she stared out at Negan with big eyes. “Baby, you need to go back to your bedroom, okay? Mommy will come see you in the morning.”

“What’s your name sweetheart?” Negan called out and Y/N shot him a glare. Ignoring it, Negan stepped forward and stared down at the young girl. There was something in the way her bright hazel eyes were staring up at him that made him let out a tense breath.

“Riley,” she answered him and Negan’s eyebrows bounced up. Kneeling down, Negan tilted his head to the side and surveyed over Y/N’s daughter.  

“How old are you sweetheart?” Negan looked between Y/N and Riley. There was an expression that made Y/N uncomfortable as she stepped forward to move in behind Riley to make sure her presence was known between Negan and her daughter.

“Nine,” Riley answered and Negan’s eyes hooked with Y/N’s. Negan reached out to place his hand in over the young girl’s shoulder. There was a new expression over Negan’s features that she couldn’t quite read. “Who are you?”

“My name is Negan. Does that name mean anything to you?” Negan questioned and Riley looked up to Y/N for some kind of confirmation that she should know who Negan was. “Tell me Riley, who is your daddy here?”

“Baby go to your bedroom,” Y/N ordered, interrupting the two of them before Negan could go any further with this discussion. Riley was confused, but she clutched tightly to her bear and nodded. As Riley moved for the door, Negan stood up and Y/N pushed her hands into Negan’s chest to keep him where he was. “I love you sweetheart.”

“I love you too mommy,” Riley whispered and her big eyes looked between Negan and Y/N before leaving the two of them alone.

Once Y/N was sure that Riley was in her room, she turned on her heel to look back at Negan and his face scrunched up in anger, “That’s my fucking daughter. She looks just like me. How could you keep my child from me?”

“Oh no, it could never be your child Negan. Remember? You can’t have babies. You’re infertile,” she reminded Negan seeing the way his jaw locked up when she said that, folding her arms in front of her chest. Negan moved over toward her bed and sat on the corner of the bed. “Fuck you Negan. You told me the first time I slept with you that you were infertile. So we didn’t have to worry about you pulling out.”

“So maybe I didn’t know for sure, but I assumed because we tried for so long and I just knew that it never happened,” Negan admitted, his eyes heavy with regret when he threw his hands up in the air. “Why did you leave The Sanctuary if you were pregnant?”

“I tried to tell you that I was pregnant, but instead you called me fat and then put me on the points system so I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself,” she snapped making Negan release a loud gulping sound. “I ran away in hopes of finding something better because you wouldn’t fucking listen. When I’m hiding in the woods I hear Simon talking about you killing me and putting me on the fence…”

“I wouldn’t have killed you and put you on the fence,” Negan rolled his eyes when he heard her say that and she snorted. “Simon was a fucking idiot. One I killed, but…”

“What do you want Negan? You know if they find out that you escaped the cell, then they are going to kill you,” she informed him, her eyes looking him over seeing that he was still in his prison clothes. “Why are you here?”

“After being locked away for six years, you tend to hold grudges and want answers as to why you leave someone rotting in a cell. Then I come up here and see that you still have that fucking keychain I got you for your birthday and have that photo of the two of us…” Negan growled, his eyes rising to hers and he shook his head slowly. “You loved me still and you let me rot in that cell. Knowing that you had my daughter…”  

“You were bullshitting me Negan. Telling me that you loved me,” she reminded him and Negan gave her a sideways glance. “You didn’t love me. You never loved me.”

“That’s not true, okay? I did love you, but I genuinely just ignorantly thought we were best friends. I didn’t think about what I was doing to you,” Negan responded, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “The more I thought about it, the more obvious it became to me how stupid I actually was. I totally was falling in love with you and then Sherry followed me to that fucking room and I thought about how long I had been pining for her. I wanted her so bad and there she was offering it and I took it. It was wrong. It was awful and I should have told her no. If I would have…I think things would have been so different.”

“Well we can’t turn back time,” she frowned, her eyes looking down toward the ground and she watched Negan stand up from the bed. Slowly, he walked across the room to her and reached out to cup her face in his rough hands. Negan’s eyes were hooked on hers and it seemed like he was attempting to kiss her, but she turned her head away from him. “Don’t.”

“Y/N, I think this is a sign that we should be together. I’ve always wanted a child. I know I feel special feelings toward you and I know you feel the same,” Negan reasoned with her and he could see that her eyes were tearing over while she stared out at him. “Maybe we deserve the chance to start over. The three of us.”

“She deserves better than you,” Y/N muttered and Negan released a hurt sound when she was obviously talking about Riley, “And so do I. I would love to pretend that nothing happened, but the people here would tell Riley. They would let her know who her father was and what he did. And I’ll always remember the things you said to me.”

“I’m leaving. We should all get out of here,” Negan suggested, reaching for her hands to give them a firm squeeze. “I know what I did and I’m sorry, but you have to understand…”

“I get why you did it Negan, I just…I can’t,” her bottom lip quivered and Negan could feel his chest aching as she stood before him. “Of course I’ll always love you, but I have to think about Riley and what’s best for her. And that’s not you.”

“Well…damn,” Negan responded, absolutely gutted with what she was saying. Stepping back, he brushed his hand over his head and then tossed his hands up in the air. “I guess this is goodbye then.”

“Where are you going?” she inquired as he moved toward the door to leave and he stopped to look over his shoulder at her.

“I thought about looking at The Sanctuary. See how things are there,” Negan pushed his hands into his pockets and he looked down toward the ground. When she nodded, Negan attempted to leave before stopping again. “What would make you change your mind about me? What could I do that would make you give me a chance?”

“You’re you Negan, you couldn’t change,” she saw his eyebrows furrow and she shrugged her shoulders. The look Negan gave her showed that he was miserable with what she had said. When he headed to leave again, she called out to him and he looked over his shoulder at her. “I’m sorry. No one should have had to go through what you did those eight years, but I was scared. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” Negan stood there for a moment longer before she watched him walk away and she felt her heart breaking.

More than anything in the past she had wanted Negan to love her and to be with him. But after eight years she knew that it was wrong to want to be with him. Yes, she loved him, but knowing the baggage that follows him, she knew it was best for both her and her daughter if he wasn’t in their lives. When the sound of the front door opening and closing was heard, she let out a sad sound and reached for the photo that Negan had dropped on the floor.

Holding the photograph, she wished that things could go back to the way things were before, but she knew better and she knew that this was the best possible decision she could make. No matter how much it hurt.

[joysmercer]

alternate universe: the anubis kids never go to boarding school, how would you picture them meeting? how would the couples get together (esp peddie and fabina/nina&amber [whichever you want] since they're like oceans away) ? would they even meet as teens or when they're older?

ok i’m just going to do this as a no-magic/mystery au because the logistics of s3 make my head hurt otherwise lol

I think it’s safe to assume patricia&joy live near-ish to each other, as do (from 3x01) mara&jerome. given alfie’s parent’s familiarities with jerome + the fact they offered him an (presumably in-person) internship, we can also assume alfie&jerome also live near each other. at the very least, we know mara jerome and alfie are all within a days travel to the school because their parents have come/they’ve visited their parents while in school.

anyways maybe the twins and alfie (and maybe the others) get put in the same baby music class and their moms become friends while palfie gets in trouble for something or the other and that’s where that friendship starts as well. so that’s how these 5 end up meeting and becoming friends although probably not as close as a group as they were in the house just cuz they’re not all at the same school or same area. basically they’re all family friends at first but grow closer over time.

mick and amber probably get sent to some fancy school by their dads at around age 11/12 and fabian and mara are there on scholarship and somehow the four of them become friends due to seating arrangements/tutoring time/screw stereotypes. mara introduces them to the others at some point, the guys immediately invite mick and fabian into their group and while the girls take a little while to warm up to each other, they’re all good friends by the time they go off to uni.

mick actually goes to UCLA for that sports program thing the summer after s2 in canon (cuz he’s not switching trainers randomly this time and actually gets in) but books his flight so he first goes to newark before LAX. meanwhile eddie and his mom are on the same flight for a vacation and they sit next to each other. (ms miller originally had the middle seat but eddie actually gives up his window halfway through the flight so he and mick can chat while she sleeps.) mick ends up tagging along to the rest of their vacation after his program is over. however mick probably doesn’t introduce eddie to the others (although he talks about him constantly) because, you know, the ocean. they may all friend each other on chumchatter though

meanwhile, the premise of this is the same (minus the mystery). nina and kt meet at the hospital or something and become friends. i can’t think of a situation where kt and/or nina meet eddie before someone else in the group (amber?) introduces them but maybe that happens idk.

nina and amber are easy—amber will still end up in fashion school in new york (less forcefully this time); nina’ll probably be near/in nyc for uni because she’ll still want to pursue something creative (i say screenplay writer, another popular hc is author) and it’s fairly close-ish to her gran (same time zone at least). so they’ll bump into each other there, although honestly without school to force them near each other all the time, they may not even become close until they both become super famous in their respective worlds and start seeing each other at events and such, and i’m not sure if they’ll ever develop past just being besties. which is absolutely fine because their friendship is my favorite thing in the world anyway 🥰

if namber doesn’t happen, fabina may have a chance—amber introduces them, they discover a mutual interest in ancient history, and since they’re adults with proper communication skills, everything works out.

peddie is a little weird. i assume eddie will still get sent to the uk to visit his dad before what was s2 in-canon and they may bump into each other there, esp if sweet decides to take eddie sightseeing or something (idk how far away patricia lives from the school and stuff). or maybe he comes a little later, visits mick, and him and patricia meet then, although it’s probably too short of a time for patricia to actually catch feelings. i think it’ll be more likely that patricia goes to the US either for grad school or maybe to see her world-renowned sister perform at carnegie or something like that. either way, she ends dragged to a club one night and stays in her own corner ppl-watching and eddie’s there and (of his own volition, no bets involved) he’s like “you’re the only one not dancing” and that’s where it starts.

[hangovercurse]

Blind Date (continued)

You invite Colson in after your blind date

Request: “I loved this so much! If you get the chance and are up to it, I’d love a second part!” ”I would like to read a second part of it”

Colson X Reader

Warnings: cursing

A/N: Have I edited this? No. Did I even look back over this after I wrote it? Also no

Word Count: 1974

Your hand touched the handle before you turned around, finding Colson in the same situation at his car door, still looking at you. “Do you maybe wanna… come in?” You asked, biting your lip. His face lit up, a smirk highlighting his features.

“I would love that.”

The man’s lanky figure strutted over to your front door as you opened it, pausing as he entered to take in the smell of your house that screamed you. He let his eyes wander around the place as he stepped further in, taking off his coat and shoes at the front entryway.

You moved into the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of red wine while he made his way into the space. You found a note on the counter from your best friend and roommate.

Staying at Eric’s tonight in case you and your date need the place to yourself <3

You rolled your eyes at the note, chuckling as you tossed it in the trash. You rustled through your drawers to grab a corkscrew, fiddling with the bottle as Colson shuffled into the room, standing behind you to encase you in his arms.

He took the corkscrew from your hands and opened the bottle with ease. “I was getting there,” you whined jokingly.

He chuckled, “I could see that.” You turned around and allowed your lower back to rest against the counter, squeezed between the surface and Colson. His arms rested on the countertop on either side of you, his figure leaning to be level with you.

You couldn’t help but admire his features, his bright blue eyes and the stubble on his jaw sparking your artistic mind. “I wish I could sketch you right now,” you murmured your thoughts aloud.

He smirked, leaning closer into you, your lips almost meeting, “why don’t you?”

You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before softly speaking, “you would get bored being my model.”

He pulled away from you, fingers running across your waist until they found your hands, intertwining your fingers. “I would be honored to be your model.”

You perked an eyebrow, “seriously?”

He shrugged, “I’ve done it before for cameras, and you are much more interesting than photographers.” He pulled you away from the counter, “go get your stuff and I’ll pour wine.”

Rolling your eyes, you walked towards your art room, which was really just your bedroom, “don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

When you returned, he was wandering your small living area, a glass of wine in his hands and one on the small coffee table. His eyes danced along the picture frames you and your roommate had placed around the house when you first moved in, which you honestly hadn’t looked at since.

You stepped into the room with your sketchbook and pencils, making your presence known. His gaze drifted to you with a smile, watching you settle onto the couch, “so, is this your roommate?” He motioned towards one of the pictures.

You glanced up, smiling at the goofy picture you two had taken at graduation, “yep, that’s us.” You turned your head back to your book, flipping to the next blank page as he continued asking about your pictures.

“Who’s in this one?” He asked, pointing to a photo of your roommate and her boyfriend, Eric.

You chuckled at the image of them pulling funny faces in the front seat of a car while you sat in the background looking bored, “that’s Eric, her boyfriend. We went on this huge road trip and they swore I wouldn’t have to third wheel, but I obviously did.”

Colson let out a small laugh, taking a sip of his wine, “and who is that?”

You had honestly forgotten about the picture he was pointing to, but seeing it made your stomach fill with unease. “Oh, I forgot that was still up,” you sighed at Colson’s curious expression, “that’s me and my ex, TJ. We broke up months ago, I thought I’d gotten everything of his out of here.”

Colson could see the discomfort in your expression, sitting down on the armchair next to your couch, throwing his legs over the side and posing dramatically. “Bad ex, huh?” You nodded, not wanting to make him uncomfortable with the conversation, though you wanted nothing more than to open up to him. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

You rolled your eyes, turning so you could face him, “of all the poses, that’s what you pick?”

He smiled innocently, “yep.” A chuckle fell from your lips as you looked down at your sketchbook, pressing your pencil to the paper. “Fine, I’ll go first,” he began, “can’t really get to know each other if we don’t get at least a little bit of trauma out of the way.”

You looked up at him and giggled, “you got me there.”

He sighed, taking a sip of his wine, “Baze told me not to talk about it, but the look on your face when I asked you about him tells me you might be able to relate.” You raised an eyebrow but kept drawing, giving him a silent signal to continue. “I was dating this girl for a while, you’ve probably heard of her, Megan Fox.”

Your eyes went wide at the name, looking up at him in shock, “yeah, because that’s not an intimidating act to follow at all!”

Colson waved you off, “you’re doing great so far, don’t even worry about it.” You gave him a stern look, but he only continued with his story, “anyways, we were together for a while and she told me all the time she thought we were soulmates, and I believed her, you know?” You bit your lip, starting to feel slightly intimidated as he spoke about the woman. “But then she cheated on me after, like, 9 months. And I realized after we broke up how wrong we were for each other and how much she manipulated me.”

You frowned as he spoke, his tone getting sadder with each word. “That’s so shitty. I don’t understand why people cheat in long term relationships, especially after you’ve given them so much hope and trust. Like someone convinces you that they love you and then they go around and pull that shit. It’s evil.”

He nodded, a slight smile on his face, “I’m over it now though, in case you were worried. Came to the realization about a month or two later that I was better without her.”

You held the pencil in your hands still, trying to find the words you needed to say. “I, uh, I was dating that guy, TJ. We had been friends for a while and he asked me out and I said yes. Everything was great, you know? And then like almost a year end he starts acting all weird and possessive. Like just because we had been together for so long means he doesn’t have to treat me like his girlfriend anymore. He would make me feel like shit in front of our friends and just all around was being a shitty boyfriend.” Colson stared at you intensely with a frown on his face, eyebrows furrowed.

“A guy should never do that shit to his girl. You don’t deserve that shit, no one does.”

You nodded sadly, “yeah, well, then I found out like 4 months into all of this that he had cheated on me and gotten the girl pregnant so… I ended things real quick.” You let out a sad huff, turning your attention back to the book and continuing your sketch of the beautiful man in front of you. “I was really upset at first but now I’m just kind of angry. Dude was a dick.”

Colson let out a dry laugh as you took a long sip of wine, “sounds like it. I’m sorry you went through that shit.”

You shrugged, smiling up at him, “if I hadn’t, we wouldn’t be here.”

He chuckled, biting his lip, “guess something good came out of it.”

A blush spread across your cheeks, “oh yeah, the food was amazing.” Your words were full of sarcasm, yet the pout on his face still made you giggle, “I’m joking, loser.”

“You better be miss second-date.” You giggled but didn’t respond, turning back to draw him. It was quiet for a few moments, your pencil tracing along the paper.

He shifted, at which you glared up at him, “I told you you’d get bored.”

With a chuckle he said, “I’m not bored. I get to look at you while you draw, it’s far from boring.” You tried to look annoyed at him but failed miserably at his flattering words. “I was thinking though, since it’s my picture and all, I should get to make some executive decisions.”

You scoffed, “you chose your pose, what else would you like oh great model Colson?”

He rolled his eyes playfully, stretching his arm out to set his glass on the table. “Well, I mentioned that I have some tattoos,” he reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it up, “you should draw them.”

Once his shirt was fully removed from his body, you couldn’t help but gawk just a little. His entire chest was covered in ink, designs beautifully engraved into his skin. “I was gonna make a joke about this only being our first date but holy shit, these are beautiful.”

He blushed, looking down shyly, ”I was honestly scared you weren’t gonna like them.”

You looked at him with wide eyes, “Seriously? This is so cool. I’m an artist, you really think I’m not gonna like tattoos? Its an art form in itself.”

Colson shrugged, moving back to his pose, expecting you to continue your drawing. Instead, your eyes wandered his torso, taking in every detail of the work. “If you’re lucky,” he commented slyly, “one day I might show you all of them.”

You rolled your eyes with a scoff, moving back into drawing position, “you think you’re so cool.”

A breathy laugh fell from his lips, “I do, actually.”

The two of you continued banter-laced conversation while you drew him, his likeness coming to life on your page. At some point it turned into 3 am, and you were struggling to keep your eyes opened, but you were finished.

“Here.” You turned the book to him, letting him take in your work. He didn’t speak for a few moments, causing worry to build in you. “I mean, it’s no Mona Lisa but-“

“That is fucking amazing.” He cut you off with a wide smile, “you make me look hot.”

You rolled your eyes with a grin, “I’m not going to feed your ego by saying something super lame like “that’s just what you look like,” but I’m glad you like it.” He chuckled at your response, climbing off of the chair to stand in front of you.

“Damn, I was really hoping to get my ego fed tonight.” He grabbed the sketchbook from you and threw it onto the couch next to you before grabbing your hands and pulling you up to stand.

You smiled to yourself, chest shaking with silent laughter, “does the sketch not feed it enough?”

He shook his head, “I need the approval of a really pretty girl to satisfy its hunger.”

Rolling your eyes, you leaned up into him, “you gotta work harder than that, Rockstar.” Your words came out breathy against his lips as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

His mouth connected to yours, the kiss deep and passionate. His soft lips meshed perfectly with yours, his hands pulling you up to stand on your tiptoes. Once you pulled away you stayed close to him, breathing in his intoxicating scent. He whispered, “I never thought a blind date could turn out so well.”

[five-rivers]

Danger First

Chapter 5

@pocketramblr :3

The day started off well. Really, it did. Izuku got up on time, still filled with warm fuzziness from the time he spent with his friends (friends!) the afternoon before, had a good breakfast, left early enough to catch an earlier train, saw an interesting hero fight, and then...

He was hit with a wave of nausea as he caught sight of the crowd outside UA's gates. Was it a mob? An attack? Terrorists?

... Reporters?

Yeah, those were cameras and microphones. But why was a crowd of reporters making him feel this way?

Maybe they were terrorists disguised as reporters. Or, maybe Izuku had picked up some paranoia to go with his anxiety. How fun.

If they were real reporters, they were probably here about All Might. Him cutting back on active hero work to teach had been big news.

Ughhhh. What should he do? Whoever they were, they weren't likely to leave. He didn't want to walk through them, though. What if they were dangerous? (And even if they weren't, he didn't want reporters looking at him, asking him questions. What would he say to them?)

He bit his lip and watched the crowd from around his chosen corner. Why did he have to be so wimpy and timid? He was a hero student, now. He should be better. Braver.

Oh! There was Iida!

He scuttled over to his friend.

"Ah! Midoriya! You're early today! Few people arrive at school at the same time I do!"

"Y-yeah! I managed to catch the earlier train today, so..." He looked back at the crowd of reporters. Maybe reporters. Maybe terrorists. "I think, maybe we should wait to go in as a group, though. I mean, it'll be more efficient than trying to fight through those reporters one at a time, right?"

"An excellent idea, Midoriya!" exclaimed Iida, waving his hands enthusiastically. "It's very admirable of you, to always be thinking about how to help others."

"W-well," said Izuku, blushing. It wasn't untrue, but it also wasn't the whole story. "I mean, I don't... It's more that they kind of freak me out a bit? The reporters..."

Iida nodded sagely. "There are heroes like that, too. Are you planning on going underground, then?"

There was a certain amount of appeal to underground heroics, but he was supposed to be All Might's successor. Then again, if One for All never worked properly for him and Mr. Yagi asked for it back... Quirk or not, Izuku was here, now, in UA, in the hero course, and Mr. Yagi had said he could be a hero without a quirk.

"I haven't really decided yet. But UA teaches all hero course students the three main branches of heroics, so we don't really have to choose a specialty until later, and even then there are heroes like Sir Nighteye who blur the lines, right?"

"Yes, it's one of the things that make UA such a superior institution!" chortled Monoma.

"Ah, Monoma! I agree! It is important for all heroes to be aware of the work their colleagues do, and to be well-rounded individuals!"

Monoma!?

"Um," said Izuku. "When did you get here?"

"Just a minute ago," said Monoma. "I was looking for a way around these savages when I overheard your conversation. Really, it's a shame that UA allows such rabble to prevent students from entering. If only there was something they could do..."

"I'm afraid I must disagree," said Iida. "Freedom of the press is exceedingly important for the function of society!"

Monoma looked slightly alarmed. "I don't mean to say it isn't, it's just-" he gestured at the gates, "-we can't get in. The other entrances are like this, too. It's aggravating."

"There... might be another way in," said Iida, after a moment.

"Oh?"

"Yes, my brother told me about a hidden entrance that was here when he attended UA. I suppose... I suppose these would be the right circumstances to use it."

"Lead the way, then, Iida," said Monoma.

Iida nodded stiffly. "We should wait and see if any of our classmates would like to come with us."

Several of their classmates did want to come with them, including Uraraka, Asui (who was still a little under the weather), Tokoyami (Dark Shadow was not a fan of flashing lights), and Hagakure. They were also joined by a couple of 1-B students, a cadre of business course kids, and a pink haired support course girl who seemed very interested in Iida's legs, much to his flustered confusion.

Kacchan did not join them, much to Izuku's dismay, instead choosing to bulldoze his way through the ranks of reporters, nearly giving Izuku a heart attack when he body-checked a man with blue-white hair.

At this point, their group was becoming rather large and noticeable, and Iida was getting antsy about the time, so off they went.

Iida led them to what appeared to be an entirely unnoteworthy piece of wall and knocked. There was a pause just long enough to make Iida start to sweat, and then the wall opened, revealing Midnight- Ms. Kayama!

"Oh?" she said, clearly delighted. "Chibiida using the top secret teacher's entrance? Has high school done what we couldn't? Are you finally loosening up?"

Chibiida.

Chibiida.

CHIBIIDA.

First: how? Why? Iida was over ten centimeters taller than Izuku! Secondly: Iida was never going to recover from this.

"That- that's not it! At all! I am simply attempting to help my fellow students enter the school without being harassed by reporters, Ms. Kayama!"

"You can still call me big sis Nemuri, you know."

"I refuse! It would be inappropriate of me as a student!"

Ms. Kayama sighed. "Well, you aren't wrong about those reporters. They can be a pain. So, just this once, let me welcome you kids to the forbidden environs of the staff area!" She made a grandiose gesture with her arm. "And it's all thanks to Chibiida here."

Iida started muttering about propriety and rules.

Izuku had the feeling it would be a long day.

.

"All right, Hikage, in your professional opinion-"

"What does building inspecting have to do with anything?"

"What?" said Nana. "I didn't say anything about building inspecting."

"You asked for my professional opinion."

"Yes?" said Nana, already dreading where this would go.

"I was a vigilante. For the purposes of money, I was a professional, licensed building inspector."

"I thought you were a professional hermit," said En.

"I was an amateur hermit. You don't get paid for that."

En blinked. "I can't believe people let you into their buildings."

"There were a few times-"

Nana decided to table the question of how neither she nor En had known Hikage was a building inspector. "Okay, fine. Forget the professional part. In your opinion, what was going on with that one reporter guy?"

"Oh," said Hikage. "He's definitely planning a murder."

"A murder!" exclaimed Yoichi.

"Yes, and probably of someone close to Ninth."

"Why didn't you say something?" demanded Yoichi, attempting to lift the taller man up by the front of his shirt and failing.

"Because there's not much we can do about it?"

"Just because you're right doesn't mean I have to like it!" He spun on his heel and stalked up to the silent and incomplete ghost of Toshinori. "It had better not be you, do you hear me? Don't you dare pull an Obi-Wan on poor, sweet Izuku!"

"Does anyone know what he's talking about?" asked Nana.

"Not really," admitted Banjo.

.

"Today," said Mr. Aizawa, after he finished passing out feedback from the battle trial, "you'll pick a class president."

All around Izuku, his classmates threw their hands into the air, eager for the chance to show off their leadership skills.

Izuku kept his hand down. It wasn't that he didn't want to stand out or do the work! It was just... between training after school with Mr. Yagi and Aizawa and trying to get his anxiety under control, he didn't think he'd do a very good job.

.

Yoichi started disappearing his "Izuku for President" banners.

.

Iida, though... Iida would do well, Izuku thought. Look at him, organizing everyone into a vote.

"You're not running, Midori?" asked Hagakure.

"N-no, haha, I have too many other commitments to do a good job, I think."

"That's too bad! I would have voted for you."

There was a smattering of agreement, mostly from Iida and Uraraka. Izuku started blushing.

"R-really? Why?"

("Strawberry," someone whispered.)

"Well, you helped me out during the entrance exam, and you were pretty cool during training yesterday." More agreement. "But if you're not running, I guess I'll pick Monoma. He did get rid of the purple creep."

"Ahahaha, yes, I am clearly the superior candidate!" crowed Monoma, standing up and putting his foot on his chair to pose.

"But his personality's really weird, which is why you would have been my first choice, Midoriya."

"I think Iida would be a good choice!" said Uraraka, raising her hand. "He's super organized and he helped a bunch of us get past the reporters this morning."

More general agreement. Then Todoroki cleared his throat. Everyone looked at him.

"Yaoyorozu," he said.

That was it.

"Good point," agreed Jirou.

.

"A TIE?!"

.

As the only one who hadn't voted for one of the three in the tie, Aoyama was forced to be the tiebreaker. This was done as dramatically as humanly possible.

Yaoyorozu was now president of class 1-A.

This led to a ferocious battle between Monoma and Iida that Iida won by a single vote. Monoma was promptly chosen as class treasurer. Just in time for their other classes.

.

"Those who possess forbidden knowledge should stay together," said Tokoyami gravely as he sat down with Uraraka, Iida, and Izuku.

"Are you talking about the staff area?" asked Asui, who slid in after him.

"Indeed," intoned Tokoyami gravely. "The dark path we have all walked-"

"Fumi is just bad at asking people to be his friends!"

"Dark Shadow!"

Izuku almost started crying into his rice. Having friends was so great.

"I'll be your friend!" said Izuku.

"Me, too!" said Uraraka, pumping a fist.

"Ah," said Tokoyami, coughing into a fist. "I am sure we will be great companions in the darkness of the coming days."

Speaking of darkness... Izuku couldn't help but feel uneasy about... something. He had been ever since seeing those reporters.

"So, Midori, is your hair full of secrets?"

"Wh-what?"

"Don't listen to her! She's just being silly! Like a little sister."

"It's what you always say about that actor you like! His hair is fluffy because it's full of secrets!"

"So, you and Dark Shadow are like brother and sister?" asked Midoriya, changing the subject.

The conversation segued into discussion of their families, and just when Iida was extolling the virtues of his older brother, Izuku's unease spiked. He dropped his chopsticks.

"Is something wrong?" asked Uraraka.

"I... don't know? It just feels like something bad is going to-"

The school alarm promptly went off.

.

"Wow!" said Kirishima. "Iida can do entrances and exits! Manly!"

.

"Wow," said Banjo, "I guess they picked the right guy for the job, after all. He can find entrances and exits! More than my class vice president ever did..."

"Are you copying the small red child?" asked Hikage.

"What?"

"Never mind."

.

"Today's heroics class will be focused on how to fall safely and other basic combat techniques. Before we begin, although you may practice these techniques on your own, outside of class, if you want to spar with others, you need adult supervision until you reach a level where I'm satisfied you won't seriously injure yourself or others by mistake. Now, firstly..."

.

"Mr. Aizawa? Is- um. Was it really just the press breaking in earlier?"

It was time for his first special quirk training with Aizawa, and he should be asking what they were doing today (especially since Aizawa had him change out of his gym uniform and back to his regular uniform), but he couldn't stop thinking about the break-in.

"What makes you think otherwise?"

"I'm, well, I'm not sure? I just, this morning, when I saw them, I got a really bad feeling? Like something bad was going to happen. And it doesn't seem, um, logical, that normal reporters would be able to do that to UA's gate. I mean, anyone can have any quirk- no such thing as a villainous quirk. But someone with a quirk like that, they'd put a lot of effort into controlling it and stuff so stuff like this wouldn't happen by mistake. I guess a reporter could have done it on purpose, though, but then it'd be really easy for UA to find out it was them, wouldn't it? Or the police. Since heroes and police have access to the national quirk registry, so you just have to cross-reference reporters with the registry to find quirks that could fit. But would they know that? Anyway, it seems more logical for a third party to have used the press as cover to infiltrate the school. But why? If nothing is missing and no one is hurt, which would be grounds for school being canceled, the next conclusion would be information gathering. But that still leaves the question of the ultimate ends- Mr. Aizawa? Are you okay?"

His teacher had been glaring at a camera mounted in the corner of the classroom and mouthing things at it.

"I'm fine," said Aizawa. He sighed. "You are right that we haven't located the person who destroyed the gates, but please be assured that we are investigating the incident throughly. Especially Principal Nezu." He shot another glare at the camera, as if to say he'd better be.

"Regardless, it isn't something you need to worry about as a student. We're adding more safety protocols to make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Oh, okay. S-so, what are we doing today? Sensory deprivation? Electric shocks? Stress positions? Bean bag barrage for dodging? High stakes hell exam?" He was ready for anything and very excited.

Aizawa stared at him flatly. "We're... doing quirk counseling."

"Yes?"

"Kid... except for maybe the last one... what exactly gave you the idea that any of those things had anything to do with quirk counseling?"

Izuku started to get the feeling he'd seriously messed up. Except he didn't feel particularly anxious about it.

"Oh, uh, Mom used to get brochures like that in the mail, after I was diagnosed? She didn't ever answer any, but... Apparently, some people originally thought to be quirkless got quirks after being in a high stress situation."

"But no one actually did any of those things to you."

"Not really?"

"Midoriya..."

Izuku looked away. He shouldn't have said anything. He didn't like the quirk counselor at Eisley Elementary, but he didn't want to get her in trouble, either. After all, he was the only one she had to do that stuff with, since his quirk hadn't shown up...

Aizawa sighed with the air of someone exercising a lot of self-control. "Except for that last one," said Aizawa, "and that's debatable, all of those are torture techniques."

Ah. Well. That maybe explained a few things.

"They are not a normal part of quirk counseling. At some point, we may incorporate some combat into this, but that will be to help you become more familiar with your quirk. Not just for the sake of making you stressed."

"But if we aren't doing combat, what are we doing?"

"Well, first we're going to try to figure out what your quirk is. Why don't you sit down." He took out some papers as Izuku made his way to his desk. "Alright. I'm going to go through these questions and write down your answers... then we're going to go through them again while I'm canceling your quirk." He paused. "Actually, first. What did you mean when you said you had a bad feeling about the reporters?"

.

"If I were alive," said Yoichi, "I would be committing so much murder right now."

"I thought we left this behind when Ninth graduated," said Nana. "I thought you said you were going to forgive them because they were stupid kids and Ninth forgave them."

"Well, first off, I lied. Secondly, teachers aren't kids. If we ever get hit by a quirk that brings us back to life, the quirk counselor at his old school will be my first victim."

Nana sighed. "That isn't going to happen."

"Who's going to stop me?"

"Less a who, and more the fact that there has never been a quirk that could revive the dead."

"Meaningless!" exclaimed Yoichi. "Death cannot stop me!"

"Think he's finally lost it after all this time?" asked En, leaning towards Nana.

"No, I think he's just messing with us," hoped Nana.

.

"Alright, kid," said Aizawa exhaustion evident in his tone. "Between your answers, your exam results, the battle trial results, how you react when I use my quirk on you, and Monoma's assessment... Your quirk is at least partially sensory.",

Izuku tried not to feel disappointed, but that seemed rather incomplete as a conclusion. Even though he knew about Danger Sense and this probably was Danger Sense.

"Yeah, I know, it's underwhelming, but remember this is the first session. Whatever your quirk actually does, though, you seem to be using it to detect threats."

Okay, that was more in line with expectations.

"I mean... maybe? I think so. That feels right."

"We also need to figure out what it's stockpiling. Have you ever felt any particular draw to certain situations? More than your peers?"

"Um. I watch a lot of hero fights?"

"You're a fight chaser?"

"A little bit?" admitted Izuku, squirming a little.

Aizawa sighed heavily. "I seriously hope your quirk doesn't stockpile danger- don't test that."

He wasn't going to!

Probably.

Speaking of, though, what did One for All actually stockpile? Power was a very vague description... He'd just went along with it because a) quirk and b) All Might, but it would probably be good to know.

"Next time we meet, I'll be running you through the basic quirk assessment battery- that's a series of tests usually given to five-year-olds to help their pediatric quirk doctors and quirk counselors identify difficult or stubborn quirks. You should have gone through it when you were younger."

Izuku shook his head. "All I remember is the x-ray."

"Why would you get an x-ray?"

"For the toe joint? To tell whether or not I was quirkless?" Why was he saying this? He was going to blow his cover and his secret out of the water! This was so dumb.

But he did say it. Maybe it was his guilty conscience from lying to and misleading Mr. Aizawa so much.

"That's a myth," said Aizawa.

"What?"

"It isn't true." Aizawa began to slump down in his seat. "It's an old wives' tale. Everyone quirkless has the double joint, but not everyone with the double joint is quirkless. I have the double joint, as do about twenty-five percent of people with meta quirks." By the time he finished, only the top half of his face was visible.

"Oh," said Izuku. He wasn't sure what else to say. At least the secret of One for All was completely intact.

"I hate to say this, kid, but it sounds like everyone involved in your early quirk education was incredibly incompetent. You shouldn't have had to deal with that, even if you were truly quirkless. It takes just as much counseling to deal with that in today's day and age as something like, say, Ashido's quirk."

Izuku had never heard it put like that before. "Okay."

"Now, before I send you off for today, do you have any questions about anything we'll be doing? Any of the tests we'll be running, normal quirk counseling procedures, anything. It's important for you to feel comfortable about this."

Izuku's eyes teared up. This had already been a very emotional day, and he wasn't sure a teacher had ever asked him that and meant it. "Mr. Aizawa," he said, earnestly, "you're the best teacher I've ever had."

"Is that a joke?" asked Aizawa, flatly.

Izuku shook his head, centrifugal force flinging his teardrops away.

"That's messed up, kid. I'm terrible."

"You're the best," protested Izuku.

"I just need you to know how incredibly low that bar is. Your other teachers must have gotten shovels to dig tunnels under it. They must be dancing limbo in hell."

Izuku blinked. He had no idea what that meant. "I think they're all still alive..."

"Not for long," muttered Aizawa.

[gojology]

Coffee With Extra Sugar.

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 | Whew! I finished this after 1 hour and holy crap this is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written, I hope you like it. I’m literally sweating. 𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 | Gojo Satoru x Teacher Fem! Reader 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 | 2,314 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 | None! 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 | Gojo Satoru, the man who didn’t ever get rejected, got rejected by you. Unknowingly having a teensy tiny (or maybe not) crush on him, Nobara gets you to go on a coffee date with Gojo. Through the jumble of mixed feelings, you accept, and find yourself in a position you never thought you’d be in. One-shot.     Often times, you found yourself enjoying a nice cup of coffee with extra sugar after teaching the exceptionally unusual teens that Gojo had forced onto you. One was unlike any other, Sukuna’s vessel. Even with the threat of death looming over his head, he was one of the happiest teens you knew. Bouncing around, reminiscent of Gojo in a way. The most remarkable thing about him though, were the eyelids below his very own. Marking Sukuna’s existence on the boy’s body.        The other boy, named Fushiguro, had a troubled backstory. His father was the only one to have a complete lack of cursed energy. Maybe that was why he was always brooding, he always seemed to be off in his own land.     As for the only female, she was your favorite student. Nobara was albeit, a bit cuckoo, but that’s what you loved her for. Outside of the educational setting, she made an amazing shopping buddy and had an endless bucket list of things to do in Tokyo. Headstrong, stubborn. Happily willing to give you any sort of advice in men, even though she didn’t seem to show a particular interest in them. You told her all about the weird stuff that Gojo would do around you, and she always said that he might have a thing for you, but you never believed it until now.     The latest event had been when you were lounging in one of the spare rooms at Tokyo Jujutsu High, drinking another cup of coffee after the extreme levels of stress and torture that was training the trio. Gojo had casually strolled in, loudly announcing himself as he slid the door roughly shut.          “Oh (Y/N)! I was looking all over for you!”         “Really? I wasn’t. Leave me alone, I’m not talking to someone who calls himself a teacher and then dumps a buttload of crazy teens onto me.” you calmly replied, sticking out a pinky whilst sipping your coffee. Although you found your eyes to be glued onto Satoru.        He dramatically stuck a hand onto his chest, leaning backward just a little as if he had been told he shouldn’t have ever been born. “Me?! Oh no, I wasn’t dumping the kids onto you sugar. I’m a busy guy, being the strongest sorcerer and all.” he gloated, grinning a little.     You grunted before pulling out your phone.     “Pay attention to me, why don’t you?” he muttered softly, digging his hands into his back pockets.     Did you hear that right?    Clearing his throat, he loudly sat down next to you, even though there was another chair on the other side of the table. Crossing his legs, he began to speak.     “So, (Y/N), I felt really bad for dumping the kids onto you, and I thought, hey! Why don’t I take you out for a meal or two? You know we don’t really know each other out of work and I’ve been meaning to talk to you more-”     “No.”     “Why not?” combing his hair with his hands, he almost looked sad, but you knew where it was going to go. You had seen Gojo date girls for 2 weeks and break up with them after. It’d be weird to date a co-worker for an astounding total of 2 weeks and then immediately get broken up with afterwards. Besides, he was probably horny and hadn’t found a girl willing enough to talk to him back, even despite a face and body that looked like it was sculpted by the Gods.     “I know what you do with girls, just fuck with them, not looking for that.” You scrolled through the article you were reading, something about some 11 year old child getting their cancer removed miraculously, probably a super nice jujutsu sorcerer.    The silence grew between you two, Gojo’s eye shifting to you when you weren’t looking, and your eyes shifting to him when he wasn’t looking. You almost wished you were a bit friendlier.     “Right.” he mumbled to himself, before getting up and walking to the door. You felt something bad growing inside of you.    Looking back at you one last time, he shut the door.     “I’m telling you, (Y/N), Gojo-Sensei was trying to ask you out, ARE YOU THAT DENSE?” snapped Nobara, who was busily lecturing you about how you had seriously fucked up.     “I didn’t know!” you whined, “I thought he was just being stupidly friendly! It didn’t cross my mind!”     “Gosh, woman, men aren’t hard to work. Gojo is 100 times easier, hand him a box of candies and he’ll probably whip out a ring. All you had to say was yes!”     “...What if I didn’t want to say yes?” you shot back.     “Hah, shut up, I’ve heard the way you’ve described that man, acted as if he descended down from heaven”    You definitely didn’t have a crush on him, but you did let your mind wander sometimes, in some indecent areas sure, but wasn’t that true for everyone?    “Okay, and what do you want me to do now? Want me to just.. Go talk to him and ask for the chance back? That’s embarrassing, and as I said, I don’t have a thing for him.”    “I’ll snag that chance back for you, but you seriously owe me one. I’ll even get Fushiguro and Yuuji on board, but they’re almost always doing stupid stuff and I have to convince them with the weirdest shit to get them to cooperate.”     “Nobara, no cursing first of all, there was no reason to, plus I don’t NEED the date, why are you even-”     “Oh shut up.”     The next day, you found yourself urgently rushed to a coffee shop by a poorly disguised Nobara, Yuuji, and a less then willing Fushiguro. You scanned the shop, the scent of coffee so strong it wafted out of the interior. Gleaming windows with, “Kento and Coffee Inc.” proudly painted on the window.     Wearing a white t-shirt and a long trench coat, with a long plaid skirt, you found yourself self-conscious. Were you too overdressed? Nobara had told you that you were supposed to dress in a cute “dark academia” (whatever the heck that is, she showed you a few pictures of it online though.) style of fashion.��    “Don’t worry! Just follow whatever I said earlier, I’m an amazing Cupid and I just know there’s something between you two! I’ll be in the corner, watching you guys, just don’t mess up!” Nobara chirped, handing you a red scarf to borrow from her closet.     You hastily threw it on, taking a deep breath in and breathing out. Trying to casually stroll into the coffee shop.    There Gojo sat, casually dressed in a black t-shirt. A pair of circular black shades perched on his nose, lazily eating a cake pop.     Your heart skipped a beat, even though he probably didn’t even try with the outfit he wore, you still found him absurdly attractive.    He jumped up, “Oh fuck, I thought everyone ghosted me.” he looked at you, tilting his head slightly as if he was confused. “I thought Yuuji and the crew were gonna be here too. Didn’t ever show though, do you know what happened to them?”     “O-Oh, um, yeah, I think I heard that Yuuji and Nobara got distracted and was going to some newly opened sushi restaurant instead. Fushiguro didn’t wanna thirdwheel or something like that.”     You swore you saw him smile slightly.    “So it’s just you, and me?”    You looked around, hoping to God that Yuuji would pop up and tell the world about his love for Jennifer Lawrence.     “It would.. Appear so.”    He clasped his hands together, beckoning at the cashier at front. “I’ll go get some coffee for us, any idea what you want yet?”     “Uh, just coffee with extra sugar.”     “Gotcha.”     You found yourself staring at his hands, playing with the hem of his pocket as he walked up to the small line. His fingers were impossibly long, and you couldn’t help but realize how veiny and large his hands were.     Snapping yourself out of your daze, you grumbled, taking the trench coat off, it had suddenly gotten hot. Pulling out your phone, you pretended to read, but in actuality you found yourself ogling his impossibly tall body, and how undeniably hot his voice was.     It was alright to find him attractive right? Sure, you hated a lot about him, like, like... Well, you couldn’t think of anything off the top of your head right now. But you for sure knew you hated him.    Yuuji snickered, “Gojo’s girlfriend is getting flustered, look at her cheeks.” He giggled, pointing at you. Fushiguro slapped Yuuji’s pointed hand down, hissing at him, “You’re going to fuck over this operation. Didn’t your mom ever tell you to NOT point?”     “I don’t even have a-”     “SHHHHHHH!” Nobara shushed them, gesturing to Gojo now walking over to the table where you were sitting.    He slid the chair out and sat down, grunting as he did. He looked down at you. “So, anything new with the kids?”     You gulped, a warmth flooding to your cheeks, the way he looked at you made you feel weird, and you couldn’t find yourself to make a cheeky remark.     “U-Uh, um, no, uh, Fushi-, I meant Yuuji, he’s doing as good as usual... And uh, Nobara’s doing pretty good too! Fushiguro’s just... Uh, you know, haha” you giggled nervously, “acting as normal.”    He laughed, “That’s Fushiguro, guy doesn’t even crack a smile. Yuuji’s a special one isn’t he? No idea how he acts all cheerful even though he knows he’s gonna, you know.”     “Guy doesn’t deserve it.”     “I know.” you pursed your lips, not wanting to talk about such a serious topic.     Seemingly noticing your discomfort, he turned his head over to the cashier who was now loudly shouting, “Order 132! Order 132! Two regular coffees with extra sugar, 2 donuts, 4 cake pops, and a slice of cake!”     “That’s our order~, what good timing!” Gojo sang, immediately springing up to fetch the coffee and the absurd amount of sweets Gojo had ordered.     “Gojo-Sensei sure does have a sweet tooth.” Yuuji pointed out, looking at Gojo casually walking back and handing you your coffee.     “Yuuji, did you seriously just notice that?”     “Yes. Why? Do you look at Gojo-Sensei eat? You’re really weird Fushiguro.”     Fushiguro let out a sigh, and Nobara giggled, but now all their attention was focused at the pair, drinking their coffee.    “So, uh, any idea why the kids invited us here?” he said, playing with his strikingly white hair. Your stomach did backflips, it looked so soft. Wait, fuck, why were you even thinking these things?

   “Uh, yeah, something about.. Um,” FUCK. You were supposed to say you didn’t know.    “Something about... Putting us on a... Blind date?” You mumbled sheepishly, Nobara crumpled on the table, murmuring about how stupid you were.     Shit, fucking shit, you weren’t supposed to be honest. 

   “Really now?” Gojo inquired, lifting an eyebrow and putting his arm on the table, leaning his face onto his hand. He took a bite out of his donut.     Now your face was really burning, why were you acting so strange?     Could it be true?     You had a crush on Gojo Satoru?     At first, you wanted to reject it, but the feeling settled in. It made more sense to you then not having a crush on Satoru. The feeling of regret when he tried asking you out, the many times where you found yourself ogling when he was naked, the amount of dreams you had about him.    You really did have a crush on him, huh?    You stammered, a rush of self-confidence flooding into you, “Fuck it.” you breathily mumbled, “I like you, Satoru.”     The doubt settled in as soon as Gojo looked at you, wide eyed, mouth slightly agape. Nobara was even shocked herself, she had never seen you as headstrong as this.    Fushiguro and Yuuji were in an intense discussion about their preference in women, well, more like Yuuji, Fushiguro was ignoring him, looking at the wall instead of the surprising twist in the date.    “You like me, (Y/N)?”     “Fuck, yeah, yeah I do.” you looked at his shades, oh how you wish you could see his eyes right now.     A slow grin spread across his face.     “I like you too, (Y/N).”

   Nobara, now quietly cheering and shaking Itadori and Fushiguro gesturing to you two, chewed them out for not seeing the events building up to the climax. 

   “Really?”

   “Yes, really, sugar.”

   Everything felt unreal, you had never thought you would find yourself in this position ever, was this a dream? You tried pinching yourself.

  He snickered, “No (Y/N), this isn’t a dream. I really do like you.” he rubbed the back of his neck, readjusting his crooked shades. “I would even say I’ve liked you for a while.” 

   It had never dawned on you that he wasn’t being flirtatious just to be flirtatious, he was actually actively trying to

get you.

“I can’t wait to tell the kids this.” he grinned to you, smiling widely. “Fuck, this feels like a dream to me too. I didn’t think you actually showed any interest in me.” 

   You couldn’t even be cheeky back, you were in a state of euphoria. 

   “Actually sensei.” you turned to look who was talking, Yuuji was excitingly bouncing up and down. Fushiguro looked like he wanted to be launched off a roof.     “We set up the blind date.” Nobara smiled, looking at the pair. “You know, I’ve always seen the romance and chemistry between you two, and you guys finally worked it out like adults!”   

    Why did you get the feeling that she was mocking you too?       Regardless, you had walked into the coffee shop single, and you walked out with the guy who had stolen your heart for years now, without you even realizing.     All thanks to Nobara.      

[127-mile]

The drug in me is you.

Pairing: Doll maker!Kun x female reader.

Genre: Strangers to lovers, doll making | Fluff, angst, mature content.

Warnings: This is NOT what a healthy relationship is, this is pure fiction. 

Manipulation, obsession, explicit major character death, non-explicit mention of death, violence, blood, alcohol consumption, oral sex (fem. receiving), fingering, orgasm denial, overstimulation, slight dirty talk, protected sex, drug use (note that the reader is unaware of the drugs being used at first, Kun tells her later) + The sex happens before Kun starts using the drugs on the reader.

Plot: One night, you met Kun in a bar. Kun was handsome, kind, caring, intelligent but he was also obsessed with dolls. You thought it was funny, until he made you one of his many dolls. Fear not, you are not just any doll, you are his best creation. 

Word count: +10k.

A/N: Happy Valentine’s day guys! This is part of the 21 ways to kill your lover collab hosted by @du0tine​. Please mind the warnings. Title from Falling in Reverse.

Tag list: @moondustaeil​, @prettyjaems​, @svchengss​, @jaehyvnsvalentine​, @xiaojunssmile 

Chapter zero: his best creation.

It is said that the eyes are a window to the soul, but when they look at you, your eyes are glassy, it is impossible to read the slightest emotion, your soul is empty, your soul has been replaced by a void, by the nothingness. Yet, you smile. A smile that is hard to describe, it is not forced, but it is not genuine either. It's just there.

You look at yourself in the bedroom mirror, and you hardly recognize yourself. Your fingers rest on the choker that adorns your neck, and for a brief second, your smile wears off, and your eyes seem to clear, but it disappears just as quickly. The choker is in red satin, a heart-shaped pendant in the middle. A letter is engrave on it. K.

The alarm on your phone makes you jump, and you turn to the object on the nightstand. It's time for you to go downstairs for breakfast. Kun must already be waiting for you. You turn off the alarm, and leave the room. If the bedroom is warm, the hallways are cold, or maybe it is just the cold from the tiling under your feet creeping into your body.

The marble stairs shine under your passage, and you do not dare to put your hand on the railing, of fear of leaving a trace. The house is immaculate, pristine. Anyone entering the house unexpectedly would think that no on lives here, that this is just a show house. This is what you also believed the first time you came here. Everything is in its place. Everything is perfect, just like Kun.

You walk into the dining room, and you see Kun. He is seated at the table, his laptop where a plate should be, but you know that in the morning, he likes to work while you eat, so he can spend a little more time with you before going to work. And you appreciate that. At least, you think you do.

The chair creaks as you pull it away from the table, and Kun looks up from his screen. He takes off his glasses which he puts on the table, and he smiles with a sweetness that warms your heart. "Good morning, my love, how are you?" you hold out your hand for him, and he takes it to place a tender kiss on the back. "I'm fine. I missed you in bed this morning."

Kun nods, and he gets up from his chair to fill your plate with fresh fruits, and pancakes drenched in maple syrup, just the way he knows you like them. "I'm sorry, doll, I had some late work to finish." if you live for Kun, Kun lives for his work. It is sad, but that's how life is sometimes, but that does not mean he does not love you.

"Eat everything." he says, and you nod, picking up your fork. He takes your glass and pours some squeezed orange juice into it. He turns to a locked glass cabinet, and takes out a small bottle filled with a translucent liquid. He drops a few drops in the glass, and you watch him to it, your head cocked to the side. "What is that?" you ask, and he sighs.

"I told you before, it helps keep you a sweet little doll." you nod again, you seem to have heard that phrase once or twice before, even though Kun has had to remind you every morning for months now. But he doesn't mind, he likes to remind you that it is thanks to him that you are such a sweet doll. He kisses the top of your head, and you close your eyes at the contact.

"Am I your favorite doll?" you ask before stuffing a strawberry into your mouth. Kun sits down again, and he watches you for a second. "Of course. Of all the dolls I made, you are the one I love the most, you are my best creation."

Chapter one: finding the doll.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

You are surprised to hear a voice above the hubbub of music and conversations in the bar where you are. At first, you expect to find Taeyong grinning like an idiot, cheeks flushed from the alcohol he's been drinking ever since you arrived, but when you turn on your stool, you frown when you see a man you've never seen before. You tilt your head to the side.

"And why would I say yes?" you ask, and the man smile. He has two dimples that make him look a little more childhish, a thin layer of sweat sticks his hair to his forehead, but he is still handsome in the dimmed lights of the bar. The first two buttons of his shirt are open, and you can't help but glance at the sliver of skin. "The question is, why would you say no?"

You do not have an answer to that, so you nod and the man sits on the stool next to you. He calls out the bartender, and asks to put two glasses of whatever you were drinking. "My name is Kun." he says, turning to you, and he holds out his hand. Hand that you squeeze for a brief moment. "Y/n." he smiles once more. "Pleased to meet you."

"So what is a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?" he asks, and you shrug, sliding your index finger across the rim of your glass. "This is my brother's bar." you explain, and you see the colors disappear from Kun's face, and when he is about to open his mouth, probably to apologize, you smile. "I'm just kidding. My best friend got dumped, so I'm here to support him as he drowns his grief in overpriced cocktails."

Kun's shoulders relax, grinning. "What about you?" he brings the glass to his lips to take a sip, and he winces at the sligh burn of the liquid in his throat. "Terrible day at work, I needed to relax." he explains in a low voice. "It's true that being in a crowded bar that smells like sweat and cheap alcohol is the best way to unwind from a day at work." you say, looking at him above your glass.

Kun chuckles softly as he puts his glass back on the bar, he rests his fingers beside it, and immediately regrets his decision when he feels how sticky the bar is. "It's always better than being alone at home." he says, and you agree, altough you are more the type to relax in bed with music rather than in a crowded and noisy bar. You would never have entered this place in your life if Taeyong had not begged you to come with him for over an hour earlier.

"Tell me about you, Kun." you ask, finishing your drink in one go, and you turn on your stool to face him. "I work in my best friend's law firm, I have a dog, and I love reading." he speaks in a bored manner, and you bite the bottom of your lip so as not to laugh. "I'm not the most interesting person here." you shrug, putting your hands flat on your thighs. "That's true, but there must be more than that, come on Kun, don't be shy."

Kun seems to think about it for a minute or so, yes he has more than that, but he can't really afford to tell you, not during your first meeting. His idea is to have a good time, and why not bring a girl back to his house, not to scare anyone and end up in prison that same evening. "I have an obsession with dolls."

This time around, you can't contain your laughter, and Kun is not offended, this is what he was expecting. "Dolls? Like barbies, or porcelain dolls?" you ask after catching your breath, you appreciate his presence, you do not want to see him go so soon, so you have to look and sound interested. "Porcelain dolls, but they are different, they all have stories."

"Stories? What do you mean?" you tilt your head, and Kun turns on his stool too. His knees bang against yours, and you glide your gaze down your legs for a brief moment. "These are not just porcelain dolls you would find in a store, they all come to my house with a clear story, and it is up to me to make sure they end their lives peacefully, and happily." that's fucking weird. "I don't know if you are being serious, or if you are making fun of me Kun, and you know what? I'm not sure I actually want to know."

You do not know how, but you went from an odd discussion about Kun's obsession with dolls, to this situation. Pressed against the door of Kun's room, you pant while feeling Kun's lips on your neck, his teeth digging into your skin, his tongue soothing the burn right away. Kun's hands are everywhere, under your top, along your still clothed thighs, you do not know where to focus.

"You are so hot, doll." Kun whispers hotly against your ear, and you bite your lower lip. "Is that why you brought me here?" Because I remind you of a doll?" Kun's gaze meets yours and he smirks. "Perhaps." you roll your eyes, and before you have a chance to open your mouth, Kun drops to his knees, ignoring the burn of the carpet, and when you give him permission to continue, he busy himself by removing your pants and panties. He slips one of your legs over his shoulder, and he covers your thighs with hot burning kisses and bites.

Kun does everything he can to avoid the area you want him the most, and you begin to whimper impatiently. He laughs as he licks his last bite to soothe the pain, and he looks up at you. You look like a work of art, with your head thrown back against the door, your eyes half-open and parted lips. "What do you want, doll?" he asks, and you sigh. "I don't know. Everything. Give me everything Kun, don't be an asshole."

"Everything?" Kun asks, and you nod with vigor. "Alright, your wish is my command, doll." he kisses your ankle, and he brings his lips up close to your core, and he blows gently. The cold air makes you shiver slightly, and you close your eyes, resting one hand in Kun's hair, and the other on the door for stability, because as he slides a finger in between your folds, your knees buckle.

"You are so wet doll, and all because of a few kisses? Cute." you pull his hair lightly, and he growls. "Stop talking please." you mumble, and Kun shrugs his shoulders but with your eyes closed, you can't see him. Neither do you see him approach his face and replace his finger with his tongue. "Oh." that's all you can say before he lays his tongue flat against your clit.

You are convinced that Kun will spend the next few minutes teasing you, but he does not. He licks your clit with vigor, and you can't help but roll your hips for more contact, and his free hands keep your from moving too much, which make you whimper loudly. His mouth is hot, insanely so. He pushes a single digit into you, making you mewls, not expecting him to do so. "Such a good girl." he says, moving his face away to watch you lose yourself to pleasure.

"More, more, please." you whisper, and Kun obliges. A second, then a third finger join the first, and you bite your lower lip to cover your moans that are getting loud, and embarrassing, but Kun doesn't seem to agree with you. "That's what we are not going to do. I want to hear you." he says in a firm voice, slapping your thigh. You almost lose your balance, but he stops you from falling by resting his hand on your waist. His grip is strong, and you know you'll have bruises of the shape of his fingers for days.

You already feel so close to your orgasm, you can feel it, you can taste it on your tongue. Kun keeps stimulating your clit with his thumb while pumping his fingers in and out of you, your muscle tightens around his fingers and he loves the feeling of your hot, wet walls, so much that he feels himself throb in the confined of his jeans, he can't wait to put his cock to good use inside of you.

When you feel heat spreading through your body, Kun's fingers pull back and you whine. You feel empty, and you do not like that feeling, not with how good Kun's fingers made you feel. "No, no, why, I was so close." you sob, and Kun smiles when he sees a single tear run down your cheek, it is so beautiful to see how fucked out you look with only his fingers. "You will cum. Later. On my cock, doll." fuck. "If you are nice, I'll make you cum twice, how does that sound?" you nod, that's all you can do right now.

Kun puts your leg back on the floor, and when you lower your head to look at him, he slides his fingers into his mouth to lick them clean of your juice, and you roll your eyes. "Kun." you are out of breath, and he straightens up before kissing you. He doesn't wait to get your permission before sticking his tongue into your mouth, and even though the kiss is sloppy, teeth clashing and salive gathering at the corner of your mouths, he puts his hands on your waist, to keep you upright because this simple kiss makes your legs feel like jelly, and he can feel it.

"Lie down on the bed." he orders, and you obey. You do not know how, but you get to the bed without tripping. Before lying down, you get rid of your last pieces of clothing before throwing them somewhere in the bedroom. You lie down, your head resting on Kun's pillows which smell of his perfume, and a mixture of sweat and soap, which is weirdly addicting, you think.

When you turn your head to look at him, you are disappointed to see that he is already undressed, but that's okay, you'll find another opportunity to touch his soft skin. He rummages in a drawer, and you see him walk up to the bed with a condom in hand, and without waiting, he climbs onto the bed to hover over you.

He places a quick kiss on your lips, and he begins to open the condom's packet, but you shake your head, resting your hands on his. "Let me do it." Kun nods, but he gasps when you push him to the other side of the bed to straddle his thighs. His cock is hard, the tip is red and leaking precum. You lean in, and run your tongue through the slit before swallowing the sticky liquid, all under Kun's hungry gaze.

"You drive me crazy." he groans, and you smile, perfect, you like that. You throw the condow packet on the floor, and before rolling it over his member, you lick the vein on the side from bottom to top, a groan snarling out of Kun's mouth. "Can I ride you?" you ask, while rolling the condom over his thick member. "Whatever makes you happy, doll."

You take his cock in your hand, and you nudge the tip over your entrance, you take a deep breath, and you ease the member gently. Kun's hands rest on your waist, and he gently helps you, and when finally you bottom out, he stays still. Yes, he wants to fuck you into oblivion, but he is also human, and he doesn't want to hurt you. At least not that way.

When you feel ready, you put your hands flat on Kun's chest and you roll your hips. "So tight, doll. You were made for me." Kun looks handsome from above, you think, looking at the way he bites his lower lip with every movements of your pelvis, the way his fingers tighten around your waist. But after a while, Kun starts to get impatient, and he plants his feet on the mattress to thrust harder into you.

"Oh fuck." you moan following the movement of his thrusts, but soon, you feel the burn in your thighs. You, who wanted to have a minimum of control, are already losing it as your legs fall asleep on either side of Kun's thighs. "Kun, Kun." you sob, your vision misted with tears once more. "Yes, doll, I'll take care of it." he pushes you onto the bed, and you wrap your legs around his waist when he enters you again.

He nestles his face in the crook of you neck, and he bites, hard. You close your eyes, a lewd sound coming out of your mouth and you throw your head back. Kun's thrusts are quick, strong, and deep, so much so that if you legs weren't secured around his waist, you would be pushed against the headboard. He is not holding back, and fuck you are grateful for it.

Kun sits up, and his hands grip the headboard to speed up his thrusting if that's even possible. His cock rocks against your sweet spot, and your orgasm crash over you without you even realizing it. You vision turns black, and you see stars for a moment as Kun growls when your walls tighten deliciously around his lenght. "Oh fuck, yes." he kisses you but fucked stupid like you are, you are unable to kiss back, all you can do is pant, and whimper at how sensitive you feel.

"One more?" he asks in a soft voice, which contrasts with the way he pounds into you. You are not sure you can do it, but you nod anyway, your body might hate you tomorrow, but it will be worth it. Despite everything, Kun opens his mouth. "What's your color?" he asks, and even though it takes a minute for you to figure out what he is asking, you speak out, in a broken voice. "Green, green, Kun." Great.

Kun doesn't know if he wants to cum, or if he wants to spend the rest of the night fucking you. It is so good, and at the same time, he wants to taste the sweet release he can feel creeping up slowly. He keeps thrusting, his knuckles turning white from the force with which he squeezes the headboard, and even his growls get louder. As for you, a flood of moans mixed with his name flows from your lips which he kisses, and bites hard enough that the skin breaks and a drop of blood flows before he licks it clean.

"Close, close." that's all you moan, and it's enough for Kun to understand. He nods, and one of his hands slides between your bodies to your clit, which he strokes with his thumb. You grab Kun's shoulders and dig your fingernails into the skin, and that's what seems to do, Kun cums in the condom. You feel it. You feel the hot cum against your walls even with the latex in between, and your legs start to shake with the intensity of your second orgasm.

Kun continues to thrust, slowly this time, riding his orgasm, but you are so sensitive that you shake your head. It is too much. "Stop, stop, please, I can't take it anymore." Kun obeys, and he stops his movements and he cages your face with his hands, being careful not to put his full weight on you. "It was perfect. You were perfect, doll." he whispers near your lips before kissing you for quite a while, and much more tenderly than before. And when he pulls out for air, he gets up from the bed to remove the condom and put it in the trash. You feel really empty, but ready to fall asleep.

When Kun returns to the bedroom with a damp cloth, he finds you asleep. You seem peaceful, so much that he doesn't want to wake you up and force you to go home, not that he wants you gone, so he doesn't. He puts on some sweatpants, and he lies down next to your after cleaning you briefly, and covering your naked body with a blanket, and he watches your for a moment before he too falls asleep, a smile on his face.

Chapter two: the morning after.

It is around 11am when you open your eyes. At first, you are lost. You do not recognize the sheets your are in, and you do not recognize the scent around you. The presence next to you is foreign, and it takes you two or three minutes to remembers. The bar with Taeyong. Your meeting with Kun. Kun! You spent the night with Kun, now you remember, and when you turn your head, you see a tuft of blonde hair coming out of the comforter.

Oh fuck, Taeyong!

You left the bar last night without telling him you were ditching him to go home with a complete stranger. You get out of bed slowly, ignoring the pain in your legs, and you find your pants neatly folded on what you supposed is Kun's desk, and you are definitely not the one who did that. Your top and lingerie are laid aside, and you wonder if all the one night stands are as kind and considerate as the sleeping man. But you doubt it. In your pants pocket you take out your phone, and you are surprised to see only two messages from Taeyong.

From Yong: I'm leaving with someone, don't wait for me. From Yong: Can you come get me? Pretty please?

The last message was sent less than twenty minutes ago, which means he must still be waiting for you, and probably with one hell of a hangover. You are glad you didn't drink more than two drinks last night. You put your clothes on, and before leaving the room, you find a piece of paper to write down your number, and a little note. "Call me." and you leave the room.

The problem is, you do not know where you are. You do not know which part of town he took you to, you were to busy cleaning Kun's tonsils with your tongue in the taxi to watch where they were driving you. All you know is that you are in a house, with marble stairs, and modern decor without a hint of dust around you. You go down the stairs, not daring to put your hand on the railing, and you wonder if Kun decided to illegaly enter a show house the night before.

Everything is clean, tidy. Everything is in the image of Kun, perfect. The front door is unlocked, which greatly simplifies the task of leaving like a thief. You dial Taeyong's number, and the boy answers immediately. "Where are you? I'm tired, I want to go to sleep." he says in a hoarse voice, and you look around. "I wish I knew, Yong." you walk down the street, at least until you find a street name. You are in a nice neightborhood, the kind you never go to, way too far from your comfort zone.

"What do you mean you don't know where you are?" Taeyong asks, and you roll your eyes. "I left the bar with a guy last night, and I don't know where I am!" you hear Taeyong giggle before growling, probably from his pounding headache. "Slut." you sigh, as you look around. You probably look suspicious. "You can talk, you did the same." you mumble, and you hear him say something to an unknown voice, so you take the opportunity to hang up to call a taxi, it's the only way for you to get home. Or at least to get to Taeyong, then you can figure it out together.

Chapter two and a half: Kun.

The following week, busy with work and with well, life, you stopped thinking about him, about Kun. You stopped thinking about the night you spent together, you stopped thinking about his hands, his lips, his scent, you just stopped. Work is mostly the cause, and also Taeyong who spends most of his time whinning about his ex partner, he is not recovering from his breakup, and it's tiring, really.

And when your phone rings, an unknown number appearing on your screen, you answer without a second thought. The perfect way to get you killed, Taeyong said once, but maybe one of your friends changed number and need something, you can't take the risk. But when you hear the voice, you do not recognize it. "Hello?" the silence is rather short. "Y/n, hello! How are you? Sorry I took so long to call, I was busy and didn't know if you actually wanted that." you frown, sitting on the sofa, the rerun of a show playing on the television. "I'm sorry, but who is it?"

"It's Kun?" the man says in an uncertain voice, and you remember. "Ah, Kun. Hi, I'm okay, and you, are you doing alright? Sorry for leaving last time, but my friend needed me." Kun makes a sound of aknowledgment before speaking. "Don't worry, I understand. I wanted to know if you wanted to meet?" you hesitate. You are not used of sleeping around with a man you met in a bar, so you are not sure if you really want to see him again. But also, why the hell not, you have the next week free of work, might as well make the most of it. "Yeah, why not."

"Do you remember the bar where we met? There's a café across the street, maybe we could meet up there later. Is around 3pm okay?" he asks, and you nod even though he can't see you. "Yeah that's fine with me. See you later." the man lets you know that he is excited to see you, and you hang up. You have a few more hours left, so you huddle once more in your blanket, and watch the television, wondering if going out is actually worth it.

Chapter three: How to make a doll: step one.

The meeting/date in the café is what changed your life.

You were not sure you wanted to see Kun, and yet, a month later, you are unable to part with him. There is something appealing about Kun, something highly addicting. He is kind, caring, smart and of course, he is breathtakingly beautiful with his dimples, soft eyes and honey-like voice.

The mere thought that one day he might not want you anymore is painful. You can't imagine your life without Kun, without his smile, without his kisses, without his hands that make you feel things that you've never felt before. And without his love, because Kun's love is amazing, it's like he has not limit to the love he gives, no matter what he receives in return.

When he tells you that he loves you, you feel like hearing it for the first time, every time. You have butterflies in your stomach when he looks at you, or when he talks about you like you are the eighth wonder of the world to his friends and colleagues. You are proud to be with Kun, because you know he could have had any girl, and yet, you are the one he decided to choose. The one he decided to love more than anything.

"Y/n? Come have a glass of water." you smile when you hear your name coming out of Kun's mouth, it's like hearing the most beautiful melody, the way it rolls on his tongue. And he is so attentive too, you think and you leave the living room to join him in the kitchen. He is sitting on a stool around the kitchen island, and he hands you a glass of water, which you take, smiling. "Thanks Kun." you say, and he smiles too, dimples in full display. "You are welcome, doll."

You take a sip of water, then a second, and you grimace. "What's wrong?" he asks, tilting his head. "I don't know, the water tastes weird." Kun shakes his head, and takes a sip of hiw own glass. "I don't feel it, it must be you. You stay too long without drinking, you forget the taste." when Kun says something, you take him at his word, so you shrug and finish your drink. "Sit down with me for a bit." he pats the stool next to him, and you settle down, your head immediately resting on the shoulder of your boyfriend who kisses your forehead.

You stay like that, in silence, for a few minutes before Kun opens his mouth. "How are you feeling?" he asks, and you frown. If he had not asked you the question, you certainly would not have realized the fatigue that suddenly fell on your body. Your eyelids are heavy, and you limbs feel numb, your mouth is dry, and movements around you seem to be slowing down. "I do not know." you whisper tiredly. "My poor little doll." Kun responds, without a hint of pity in his voice.

Chapter four: Bad doll?

This is not the only time the feeling of losing control of your body sets in. At first it's once a week, and now it's every morning, but you adjust pretty well to the side effects, and Kun is so nice to you when you feel bad, he takes care of you, he makes sure that you drink enough water, and that you eat enough food. He regularly returns from work at lunchtime to cook for you, and to remind you how wonderful you are, and how proud he is of you.

He gives you presents, but the one you prefer is the choker you never part with. You love the color, and the pendant reminds you that Kun is near you, even when he is not at home, and that's all you need. Time passes, and yet you do not realize it. You stopped responding to Taeyong, and even going to work. Kun said you did not have to go anymore, he may very well support the two of you with his job alone. No, you do not realize anything. You only see Kun, only hear Kun. Kun. Kun. Kun. Kun. His name echoes like a mantra in your head.

Today, going down the stairs, you are surprised to not hear the slightest noise. When Kun is at home, he enjoys playing music on his turntable. He says that even though the sound is not as crisps there, it is much better, he can appreciate the music more, but now you can't hear anything. Not even the sound of his computer keyboard where he spends most of his time when he is not at the office.

"Kun?" you ask, poking your head through the living room door, which is empty and as clean as usual, if not a little cleaner. You walk into the kitchen, and you pout when you notice that he is not there either, but a note is stuck on the fridge door.

"My doll, my beautiful doll. I'm sorry, but I had to leave for work. I know I promised to take you to the movies, but a case we are working on must be finished today, the trial having been brought forward. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to cook for you, and I'm so sorry. You can cook for yourself, but please be careful with the knives. Remember to drink at least 5 glasses of water today. I have my phone if you need anything. I love you. Kun."

You silently read Kun's words and nod. It's a shame, you were excited to go to the movies. You really haven't been out of the house since moving in with Kun. At least you think you moved here. Kun bought you enough clothes to fill a full closet, and your mind is far too cloudy to think about the clothes you already own, and the apartment you were renting back then.

You do not know if it's because Kun is not here, or because you are too lazy to cook, but you are not hungry. You come out of the kitchen, and once in the lobby of the house, you look around. You do not know what you are supposed to do. Even though Kun leaves you alone to go to work pretty much every day, he still advises you to do certain acitivites, or you usually feel far too tired to do anything.

But today, you feel good. Still a bit groggy, but much better than usual.

A name suddenly comes to your mind, for the first time in months, and you frown. Your heart does a weird thing when you think of this person. Not the same as when you think of Kun, but differently. A certain warmth spreads through your body, and you realize that you actually miss this person. Taeyong. You know you were used to spend a lot of time together, and that you even decided to save your money to find a big apartment to live in together.

He forgot about me, you think.

But you do not realize that you forgot about him, not the opposite. But you are too lost in your own head to realize it. You walk up the stairs, being careful not to put your fingers on the white wall or the railing, and push the door to the room you share with Kun. The decor has changed since the first time you came here. Several pictures of you, and you and Kun together are on the walls, and your favorite color can be found in small touches on the satin sheets, on the curtains, and a few trinkets here and there.

You find your phone in the bedside table drawer, and when you try to turn it on, nothing happens. After so long, the battery must be dead. Finding a charger is not difficult, you just have to walk around the bed to Kun's place. You take it, and you return to the living room. For some reason, you do not like being in the room on your own, you feel like you are being watched, it makes you uncomfortable.

Once in the living room, you plug in the phone, and while waiting for it to turn on, you turn on the television. A serie is playing, and even though you do not understand it, you watch, your head resting on a pillow, and soon, you find yourself wrapped in your favorite blanket, ready to fall asleep. So much for feeling full of energy.

When you open your eyes, you are hardly surprised to see the living room bathed in darkness. It often happens to you, to close your eyes before realizing that night has already fallen. It takes a moment before your eyes get used to the darkness that is only broken by a lit bedsite lamp next to Kun. Kun who is seated on an armchair, his arms crossed against his toned chest. You sit up, smiling. "You are back."

Normally, Kun would smile. He would get up to give you a long, tender hug and ask you how your day was. But today, he doesn't. He looks tired, stressed and disappointed. It is indeed an emotion you have never seen on his beautiful face, disappointment. "What's wrong?" you ask as you sit on the couch, legs crossed, your blanket falling from your shoulders, revealing the same pajamas you wore last night.

You look down, and notice that your phone is in Kun's hand, and tild your head. "Why?" he asks, pointing to the phone. "Why what?" He gets up, and he sits down next to you. You are not afraid, you know Kun will never hurt you, but you also do not know what to expect. You have never seen him angry except at one of his colleagues on the phone, and each time he makes sure to leave the room so that you do not see, or hear anything.

"Am I not enough?" he asks in a voice so weak that you wonder if you heard correctly. "Why do you ask me this?" he sighs and puts the phone down on the coffee table, it's on this time, and you can see the many notifications when the screen lights up. That can't be good, you think, but you do not even think about reaching for the phone, since Kun turns your head to face him by gripping your chin between two fingers.

You frown, your mouth opening slightly at his sudden move. "You haven't touched your phone since you've been here, and today you decided to do it, because you knew I wasn't coming back, why?" he asks in a firm voice, and you avoid his gaze, which doesn't seem to please him. "Good dolls look at me when I talk to them." he says with clenched teeth, and you shake your head. "I- I'm not a doll."

Kun scoffs, rolling his eyes. "Of course not. You are not, you are right. You don't deserve to be one of my dolls." this sudden realization makes you open your eyes wide, shaking your head. "What? Of course I deserve it!" when he shakes his head, your eyes fill with tears and he refrains from stroking your cheeks to calm you down. "No. A doll doesn't look to see someone else when I'm not around." it's crazy how fast a few words made you change your mind about being a doll.

You manage to extricate yourself from his grip, and you climb onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. Kun is surprised at your sudden behavior, and even though he knows he cannot give in, stay firm, he does nothing to stop it. But he doesn't touch you either, even though his hands only want one thing: to rest on your waist. "You are wrong, Kun, I didn't want to see anyone. I just wanted to watch, and I didn't even do it, I fell asleep before it turned on." you speak in a quick manner. "Hey, breathe." he says, and you take a deep breath.

Kun looks at his watch, and he makes a noise of surprise or aknowlegdment, you don't really know. "Did you drink any water today?" he asks, and you are surprised at the sudden change of tone in Kun's voice. "No, I was sleeping." now, he understands. "That's why you decided to act like this! You silly goose, you know you need to drink." you pout when Kun puts you down on the couch, because you already miss Kun's warm touch and scent. "I'll be right back."

A minute or two later, Kun returns with a glass of water in his hand, and he hands it to you. "Drink it all." you nod and take the glass to drink the content. Over time, you started to ignore the weird aftertaste that burns your throat a bit when Kun give you something to drink. He settles down next to you again to pull you onto his lap without waiting, except this time, he wraps his arms around your waist to press your chest against his. "You can't disobey me anymore, okay?" you nod.

"Yes, I will not do it again, I promise." he puts his hand on the back of your head, and he pulls you in for a languid kiss. But before you can initiate anything, he breaks the kiss. "I'm so sorry, I just want to be a good doll." you whisper close to his ear, and he smiles weakly. "I know that my love, and you are, it's just that sometimes you get distracted. But that won't happen again, I'll make sure of it myself."

Chapter five: Taeyong.

For the following weeks, Kun makes sure not to leave you alone for too long. And the more time passes, the less able you feel to regain full control over your body. Kun does everything for you, he doesn't let you lift a finger, if only to clear your plate. If your thought were yours, you would wonder when he plans on spoon feed you himself, but they haven't belonged to you for a long time.

Sometimes you have moments of lucidity. Your eyes clear, and your memories come back, the times you spent with Taeyong, the life you had before meeting Kun, and during those brief moments, you wonder if you'll ever get back to those times you genuinely took for granted. You began to write in a notebook what you remember in these moments, and the time when it happens. And every time, it is before breakfast, when you get out of bed.

Like all plans, Kun's isn't foolproof, luckily you manage to keep it to yourself. You refuse to think about what would happen if he ever found out that sometimes you become yourself, Y/n, and not Kun's doll. Even in these times, you are not afraid of Kun, because you know he'll never hurt you, at least not physically, he is way too sweet, and too in love to do it. Because yes, despite the mental ordeal he makes you live on a daily basis, he loves you, you know it.

Maybe you should stop forcing yourself to remember your old life, and come to terms with what you have become. Maybe you'll get used to it, and start to appreciate what is offered to you, you think, looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror, the only place you can have a little bit of privacy. You rub cold water on your face, because you know that in a few minutes, when Kun gives you your drink, you will not be yourself. And when you turn to take the towel, you hear a little noise coming from the bedroom.

You frown, it is not Kun, you can hear the noises coming from the kitchen. So you come out of the bathroom, and you follow the noise that continues, to Kun's bedsite table which you open, and what a surprise when you find your phone. It's on, and Taeyon's photo appears on the screen. You take it, and with a trembling hand, you answer.

"Hello?" you ask, and the noise you hear coming from Taeyong is barely describable. It's a mix of surprise and relief. "Oh my god, Y/n! Do you have any idea how scared I've been for months?" you bite your lower lip. "I'm sorry." you answer, and he growls from the other side. You can't imagine what he felt. "Where are you? Are you okay? Are you safe?"

When you are about to answer, you hear footsteps coming towards the bedroom door. "I have to go." and you hang up before shoving the phone in the drawer before closing it. And when the door opens, you turn to him, smiling. "Is everything okay?" Kun asks, and you walk up to him, nodding your head. "Perfectly fine, I was ready to come down." you put your hands on his chest, and you kiss Kun softly.

Kun answers to the kiss, one of his hands fiddling with the pendant of your necklace. He doesn't express it very often, but he is extremely proud to see you wearing it every day. It shows that you belong to him, even if you do not need it, you prove it to him every day. "Come eat." he says against your lips, and you take his hand to exit the room.

Once in the kitchen, you drink the glass of juice offered to you, and the effects come much faster now. And when you are finally in Kun doll's mindset, you feel stupid for answering Taeyong, so much so that you feel ready to confess everything to him, and ask him to throw the phone away for you to no longer be tempted, but you do not. "I love you Kun." you say, which surprises the man who smiles with a sweetness that warms your heart. "I love you too, doll, more than anything in the world."

Chapter six: Yes, bad doll.

Kun has to go to work.

To do that, he made sure to give you a double dose last night, to make sure he wouldn't have to deal with another scene like last time. He trusts you, but you can never be too careful, he thinks, looking at you. You are sleeping peacefully, and you are so beautiful, he wonders what he has done to have a person like you in his life. You are the most beautiful doll, his best creation. However, when he met you, it was not a won situation. But you proved to him that you were capable of changing, and he would give his life for you.

He places a kiss on your forehead, and he pulls back when you stire in your sleep. For a second, he thinks he woke you up, but no, you turn, your breathing still deep. His little angel. He gets out of the room, takes his satchel, and leaves the house.

When you open your eyes, it is not because of the sun coming through the curtains, but because of the knocking on the door. You whine, and wonder when the noises will stop, but they don't. Kun must not have heard it, or he is not home. So reluctantly, you get out of bed. You have to hold on to the wall to walk, to avoid tripping. You feel feverish, and so so tired.

When, at least, you arrive at the bottom of the stairs, you approach the door. Everything is silent, and you regret having moved, but as your turn on your heels, the knocking on the door resumes. You open it, and you frown when your eyes fall on a man. He is not very tall, his hair is pink and washed out. He looks like he has not slept in weeks, and when his eyes fall on you, you wonder if he is going to cry.

"Y/n!" he throws himself on you to hug you to his chest. You know if Kun witnessed the scene, you would be in trouble, and yet, you stay in the man's arms. The warmth that he gives off, his perfume, his simple way of being are not unknown to you. "Taeyong." you breath, and the boy pulls back, his hands still resting on your shoulders. "I hope you have some explanations for me, young lady. I've been looking for you for months!"

"How did you find me?" you ask, cocking your head. He is truly struggling to recognize you. Your eyes are glassy, and he can no longer see the happiness and mischief he used to read in your eyes back in the days. "Thanks to your phone. I just wanted to make sure you were safe." you nod, hugging your body with your arms. "Of course I'm safe. Kun takes good care of me, and he loves me very much. I love him too."

Taeyong frowns, he feels liks he is listening to a robot, or a pre-recorded message. It is no longer his best friend that he has in front of him, but someone else, and he does not know how to explain what exactly has changed so much, or what could have happened. He even wonder if you weren't brainwashed, joined a cult, or had a frontal lobotomy. He knows it's stupid, but he is stupid, and those are the only thought that come to him. He is far from reality.

"Can I come in?" Taeyong asks, trying to see the inside of the house over your shoulder, and you bite your lip. You are not sure Kun would enjoy seeing a stranger in his own home, but he is not here right now, and a good doll must also be a kind and welcoming host, so you shrug. "Yes, of course." you push yourself out of the door to let Taeyong in, he wolf-whistles when he sees the inside, and how clean and shiny everything is. "Wow.

You head for the kitchen. "You can sit if you want. Do you want something to drink?" you ask, but he shakes his head. "No thanks." he sits down on a stool around the kitchen island, and you sit across from him, your hands resting on the cold surface of the counter. "So? Tell me everything that happened." yes, you suspected he would ask you the question. "I met Kun in the bar where we were that night. And I don't know, things happened naturally after we saw each other again. I think moving here was the next logical step, it just happened."

"But that doesn't explain why you stopped responding to my messages, and giving signs of life." Taeyong's voice is painful, even for you. You sigh, playing with a thread on your pyjama sleeve. "I don't know, Taeyong." it's the truth, you do not even know why you stopped caring about your phone, you who spent most of your time on it. "But I'm sorry." are you really? Not really.

You spend the next two hours talking. Well, Taeyong talks about things that have happened over the past few months, and you listen. You try to smile, nod at the right time, and be happy to be with him again, but you can't stop thinking about Kun, and what he is going to think when he finds out he's been here today. Not that he is preventing you from having contact with the outside world, but seeing how he reacted when you wanted to use your phone, you suspect that he is not going to be very happy.

"...and Ten started screaming." Taeyong says, and you open your mouth to laugh, but instead, your mouth opens in a silent cry as Taeyong's face makes contact with the kitchen island in a violent manner. So violent that he loses consciousness almost immediately. Behind him, you see Kun, and what you read in his eyes is nothing but pure rage. Your breathing is plowed, and you get up from your chair.

"Why would you do that?" you ask in a panicked voice, and he shakes his head, clicking his tongue. "You should thank me." he says as he approaches Taeyong. He grabs his hair to lift his head, and you gag when you see the amount of blood on his face. "But he didn't do anything!" you defend, and he laughs coldly, so much so that an unpleasant shiver runs down your spine.

He lets Taeyong's head fall back, and he looks at you. It's not longer disappointment he is showing, but something more intense. He is scary, and yet he smiles at you. "You know, I really thought you were different. When I met you, I finally thought I had found it, the perfect doll. I loved you so much, and I would have given you everything, even my life, and yet you decided to betray me." you shake your head as you join Kun.

"I didn't betray you Kun. He came on his own, I didn't contact him. I didn't tell him anything, we didn't do anything either." you say, cupping Kun's face, but he takes a step back to avoid the contact almost immediately, and ouch, that hurts. "I love you Kun, I love you so much." you continue in a whisper, and he shakes his head.

"If you really loved me, you wouldn't have let him in. You would have told him to go, and you would have moved on with your day. But no, you decided to be a little slut." A little slut? You would never dare to do such thing. You love Kun, and only Kun. No matter what he puts you through every day trying to make you the perfect doll, you have never loved anyone as much as you love Kun.

"I'm not a slut, Kun. I'm your little doll." you say in a low voice, not daring to look Kun in the eyes anymore. You feel him approaching you, and you refrain from taking a step back. "Are you sure of that? Are you my perfect doll?" he asks, and you nod. "And what would my perfect doll do for me?" you lift your head, and run the tip of your tongue over your dry lips. "Anything Kun. I would do anything for you."

"Very well." that's all he says before heading to the locked cabinet. The one in which he takes the small bottle of transparent liquid every morning. The bottle is full, and you wonder how get manages to get so many. You follow his every move with your eyes, and you frown when you see him emptying the entire bottle into a glass. And he pours a small amount of fruit juice into the glass before mixing everything.

He hands you the glass, and he says. "Drink."

You shake your head with vigor, you do not intend to drink the content of this glass. Only god knows what could happen to you. "You said you would do anything for me, and I want you to drink." he walks up to you, and every time he takes a step forward, you take a step back. At least until your back makes contact with the kitchen wall. You are stuck, you know it, Kun is too fast, if you try to escape, he will catch up with you in an instant.

"You said you were a perfect little doll. And you know very well that dolls listen and obey when I ask them something." his voice is much softer now, and you get lost in his big dark eyes. So much love are in his eyes, so he might not be able to hurt you, right? He is just playing with you to see your reaction, to see what you are ready to do for him, right? Taeyong growls behind Kun, but he doesn't pay him the slightest attention. "So?"

"I'm going to drink, because I love you Kun, and I want you to know that I am your perfect doll. Your best creation." you say in a whisper as you take the glass, and Kun looks satisfied. You pursue your lips, and it takes a minute for you to muster the courage to open your mouth and drink the content of the glass. The taste is horrible, and the burning sensation in your throat makes you cough hardly. You drop the glass which shatters to the ground. Kun hasn't moved, unlike you, he is too busy looking at you. He knows what is going to happen, and for many reasons, and he doesn't want to miss a thing.

"You know, Y/n, I've had a lot of dolls before you. They were different from each other, and each time I thought I had found the right one, but each time, I was wrong. They always found a way to lie to me, and betray my trust. But when I saw you, when I saw the effort you were willing to make to please me, I really believed you would be the last." he cannot hide his disappointment, and his disgust.

"I loved all of my dolls, trust me, but you... I never felt something so strong for any of them. You were the exception. The one and only." you are having a hard time keeping your eyes open, and slowly, you slide along the wall. Not only do your legs seem to weight a ton, you feel like your heart is doing things it shouldn't be doing. It beats too fast, and too slowly at the same time.

You have chills, and a cold sweat covers your forehead, and rolls down your spine. Soon, your lungs are racing, and it becomes more and more difficult for you to breathe. Kun crouches down in front of you, his fingers sliding down your wet cheeks from the tears you didn't know were rolling. "You are lucky, because your life will end in a much more peaceful way than theirs."

"I could have let them go. I could have helped them get rid of the drugs in their bodies, and let them go back to a normal life, but I couldn't afford to risk being reported to the police, or to see them with someone else, I hope you understand." he turns to looks at Taeyong who gradually regains consciousness. "And unfortunately, your little friend won't have an ending as sweet as yours. It'll teach him to not stick his nose where it does not belong."

Kun talks, but it's just gibberish to you, you can't concentrate. You can't. All you can do is put your hand down to your chest, it's so painful, everything burns. You are hot, and cold. A broken sob escapes your lips, and Kun places a kiss on your lips. "I will never love any of my next dolls as much as I loved you, I promise." he whispers against your lips. "I don't think I can love anyone after you. You were all I ever dreamed of."

You vision gradually fades. You see nothing, except the contours of Kun's body. You do not feel anything either. You do not know how long you've been on the ground, but you are not in pain anymore. You are at peace, you think, as you take your last breath.

A single tear rolls down Kun's cheek when he sees you take your last breath. His heart breaks, but he gets up. Kun could have forgiven you, of course, he dreams of nothing other than spending the rest of his life with you, but he hates being betrayed. No matter how intense his love for you was over the past few months, he refuses to be used. Trust is what matters most to him, and he knows the next few months will be horrible, it will take time for him to recover from your death, your "accidental" overdose, but he will. And he'll try again.

One more name to add to his list of failure.

But first, he has to take care of Taeyong. He can't have a witness in his house, or maybe he can use him. He is a handsome boy, he could be useful in his search for the perfect doll.