#autistic alexithymia culture

[usernamesarehard1]

Autism culture is thinking "I don't know" is a perfectly normal answer to "how are you?" or "how are you feeling?" and getting confused when other people think that's a weird answer

[confusion-x-central]

umm..

so I didn't even know that you were supposed to actually feel empathy and not just force yourself to act a certain way based on how others seem to be feeling...hmmm

[sgkjd]

alexithymic autistic culture is having saved this graph into your phone and pulling it up whenever you feel like you're feeling something and need to check what exactly

[coyotepawsteps]

my genderqueer autistic ass having an epiphany about my general dislike for vcing (voice chatting) while in the middle of watching neurodivergent & queer tiktok compilations

usually i’m pretty okay with & prefer being in vcs with people who talk while i stay muted, and most of the time i just say that i “don’t really like talking in vcs” without elaborating on that too much but like. i’m gonna spend some time using tumblr as a way to put actual words to a lot of the deeper reasons for this feeling that i’m starting to notice! bc who am i if not a little autistic creature who wants to infodump to people except it’s a lot more comfortable to do so using a platform that feels more like a personal journal than a social media site!! i write all this for myself but i also want it to be in a space where other people can see it, relate to it, share their own experiences, etc.!

(and, with that mention of people sharing their own experiences, please feel free to reply to or reblog this with some of your own thoughts or experiences on this topic, because i’m genuinely curious how other people feel about this kind of thing!!)

i feel insecure about the way i perceive my voice as “too feminine”, i want to present online as a vague gender-fucky creature most of the time but i feel like people hearing my voice will ruin that kind of presentation. after listening to some of those “this is my voice [timeframe] on t” clips, i kinda realized that if my voice was deeper — something more neutral, or vaguely “boyish” but not exactly — this specific bullet point wouldn’t be much of a problem anymore

again a point specifically about my voice itself — i don’t think that i can really regulate the..i guess emotion in my voice? sometimes i speak completely flat monotone, sometimes i feel like i talk in a tone that doesn’t properly convey my current emotions or fit the situation, sometimes i feel like i can be way too hyper-expressive especially when i’m like. feeling really positively, like if i’m happy or excited or laughing at something. i also feel like i talk more high pitched in those latter situations which doesn’t help with the vocal-based gender dysphoria

i frequently describe myself as socially awkward. i am kinda bad when it comes to having conversations with people. there isn’t really any time at all to like, properly process what the other person has said & then reply to it accordingly while having vocal conversations, most of the time you just gotta wing it and hope you get it right. texting is a lot easier for me because then i do have that time to process what was said, and think of how to respond to it, and i have time to reread my response (and change it if need be) before sending it

this is something that i do sometimes mention in my original “i just don’t like talking in vcs” statement to people (just not with this much level of detail & explanation to it) — i feel like i express myself a lot better through writing/texting/messaging than i do speaking. ties in a lot with my emotional regulation/tone of voice bullet point; i express emotions a lot better through textual means. if i’m particularly hyper or expressing strong emotions like anger, excitement, joy, etc. then i usually write in all-caps and type fast enough that i make frequent typos. same thing for if i’m laughing at/about something i find really funny, plus with an add-on of keysmashing (there’s no good vocal equivalent to a really good keysmash). emojis and/or emoticons are really nice to use for conveying emotion wordlessly (some personal usage examples: 😭 for laughing or sometimes genuine sadness/upset depending on the situation; 😂 is also good for laughing/amusement [although i go through cycles of how often i actually use it; some times it’ll often be the only emoji i use for laughing, others i use the sobbing one a lot more and almost never touch this one, and others i rely more on text emoticons or abbreviations]; my most common emoticons are xD, :D, :), and :( with some variations depending on circumstance [e.g. >:) for a more “devilish”/mischievous use]; and, though they aren’t exactly emojis or emoticons, i frequently use abbreviations like “lmao” and “lol” interchangeably with them, with lmao being for actual strong amusement and lol being like a more toned-down “ha ha” kinda thing.) there is, of course, also the bonus of tone-tags being an option in textual conversation, although i don’t tend to use them too frequently unless i’m aware that something i’m saying could be taken in the wrong way by the other person (e.g. if i’m saying something i really mean, i won’t really use tone-tags for it, like if i’m telling a friend “i like playing games with you”; but if i’m joking around with someone while using a flat tone — like a message without any emoji usage, caps, purposeful typos, etc. — i will usually use tone-tags there, for example “i hate you so much /j”)

[aspd-culture]

ive seen people say not having emotions is an aspd thing, but what if i know i have emotions and just cant tell what they are? like... like theres a layer of "nothing" between me and my emotions yet the emotions still affect me. im also autistic so it could just be alexithymia but i genuinely cant tell how emotional i am because im so disconnected constantly. and ive been contemplating this for years- other people tend to figure out how im feeling faster than i do because it can affect my actions in ways i dont realize. im fairly certain i have both aspd and autism but im not sure what is from which

aspd-culture is

First things first, you were lied to. Not having emotions is not what ASPD is, but a lot of people who like to demonize us tell people that. I don't blame you for believing it, the myth is pretty widespread. But whilst some people with ASPD experience emotional blunting, not everyone does, and even the ones who do tend to have emotions they feel more or less. In fact, inability to tolerate boredom and anger is a major symptom of ASPD, which wouldn't be possible if we didn't have/feel emotions as intensely, sometimes moreso, as everyone else.

If you are having emotional blunting, it can cause you to feel very unsure of what your emotions are, which could cause the issue you're speaking about here. I cannot and do not advise others to try this, the only reason I do is bc my doctor suggested it after some bloodwork, but I do take a magnesium supplement to help the emotional blunting and it does help. Again, this is not medical advice; if you are interested in trying that please bring it up to a doctor as we only did that because my bloodwork said my magnesium was low.

I am also an autistic pwASPD so I actually can't tell you with certainty which disorder is causing which as I haven't gotten to that level of introspection with my autism yet. I know that autistic people frequently have trouble understanding and "connecting to" their own emotions and cues, so it could be from that, or from the blunting I talked about earlier.

Apologies that I couldn't be more helpful, I am still learning about my autism and what is related to that vs my other disorders.

[ndcultureis]

autistic culture is thinking you definitely dont have alexithymia because you "can tell what youre feeling sometimes!" .. and then realizing you were entirely basing what emotions you think you feel off of .. whether your face feels droopy or not

.

[askanautistic]

Hi!

I don't know for sure if he's autistic, but my partner seems to have some signs of alexithymia..?

Idk, when he's with me, he's amazing & caring & sweet, but he forgets about me when he's gone. Largely, it's because texting can be a lot for him, & he forgets about his phone. I believe him, but I haven't heard of it before? Is it a thing that you can love someone but just... don't think about them all the time? Am I just a hopeless romantic lol

He also rarely says things like 'I love you' or 'i miss you', unless prompted; he doesnt do romantic things for me; he needs time away from me after a day or so (where i could spend weeks on end with him); he needs time alone to figure out why something bothers him, etc. I feel like with most partners, I would assume he just wasn't really interested, but then other things he does really contradict that (like being thoughtful with gifts, listening when i need to talk, thinking about my feelings, etc.). It's confusing.

I wish he'd be more vocal about his feelings & I'm sure he would if i asked, but I'd feel like an asshole if that's just who he is. I don't want him to think anything is wrong with him 😕

I'm not really sure why you think he might be autistic or has alexithymia based on *these things* specifically... Without knowing the full details of your relationship, it sounds a lot like he's very attentive when you're together. And when you're apart he's paying attention to other things. Which, unless it is very extreme, or if you spend a lot of time apart and so do rely on there being some communication and contact during those times, sounds quite balanced! Life is made up of lots of elements, and it would be quite difficult to function at school or work or when doing any activity if someone was constantly thinking about their partner all the time. How expressive people are with their partners can also be influenced by culture or socialisation. Different families communicate in different ways or might be more or less comfortable with talking about big issues. Some people are more likely to be very expressive and some aren't. Some people need reassurance more than others. Some people are much better face to face at expressing themselves or showing affection, and some people can be better at communicating from a distance (so might be more likely to share memes or text a loved one, or get into deeper conversations via text/messaging, but might seem more standoffish in person!). Introverts often need time to themselves to decompress, process, etc. and just because that's how introverts reenergise. Whereas extroverts tend to need to be around people, so don't always understand that need for regular alone time. Whatever the case is, however, it's okay to let your partner know what you like/need in a relationship. It doesn't have to be framed in a way that undermines or criticises the other person. Sometimes it's not that someone is too much, or that someone isn't being expressive enough, it's just that you have conflicting needs or preferences. So it would be okay to say, 'I really like it when you tell me you love me every day and would like for you to say it more often if you would be comfortable doing so.' It would also be okay to ask him what he experiences. Or to let him know that you interpret behaviours a certain way and would like to know whether you're right or not (if you think when he doesn't say it it's because he doesn't feel it or doesn't know if he feels it, then he can let you know whether he does feel it but doesn't think it necessary to say, or whatever else the case may be). I've known NT people who just tend not to use their phones much, who can lose their phone and won't rush to replace it even though it makes it hard to contact them, who don't have or use social media, etc. Or who *do* use their phones a lot but often don't reply to things immediately because they're also very busy people, working, socialising, etc. and sometimes need to dedicate their attention to other things and other people. So it's definitely not exclusively an ND thing... But, if your partner *is* ND, it is also quite common for ND people to experience these things to an even greater extent. It's more often associated with ADHD (but is probably not ADHD exclusive) to experience 'out of sight, out of mind'. Which can apply to objects (and can cause people to do things frequently forget what food is in the cupboard so it goes out of date, or might forget to take medication or to do a task because there's no visual prompt because the implements are somewhere they can't easily be seen). And time blindness. So this can also extend to people - not thinking to message someone because they're not on your mind as much when you're not physically with them, and/or not realising that you haven't heard from or checked in with someone for hours... or days/weeks/months/years. It doesn't mean we don't care about people, and we can be very thoughtful and might show affection in less expected ways, but we might be less consistent or easily distracted or not notice the passing of time so won't feel it as deeply as someone who doesn't have our difficulties.

[sludgewolf]

👉👈 hey! Feel free to ignore if you arent up for it but do you think you wanna try doing some hcs for Dave strider with an autistic s/o? Especially one who has trouble understanding their own emotions (alexithymia), kinda takes things literally, and has a special interest in bugs (specifically ants and isopods) thank you so much in advance! ♡♡♡

No, I am writting this hc!! Just be aware that I have ADHD not autism, so pls tell me if I got anything wrong or you want smt fixed and I hc Dave being half japanese, Bro raising him with some of the culture as well as the Strider charm (I'm just saying this bc there's a small part that won't make sense without that info)

Disclaimer: do not copy, repost, take or feed to AI or NFTs anything I post

Masterlist

Dave x Autistic!Reader

Actually x btw

Dave used to just ignore his emotions so he never ended up learning how to deal or understand them until recently

so he understands you to some degree and helps you whenever you ask him to

and if you think you'd rather talk to someone else he takes you to Rose since she was the one to help him for the most part, the other part was Karkat but his though love approach isn't for everyone

Dave tones down on the sarcasm while talking to you, especially when not joking

Egbert now takes a double dose of the patented Strider Sarcasm™

poor idiot doesn't know what's coming their way

Still there's a learning curve for both of you

Dave doesn't do it on purpose, but sometimes forgets that you take things literally and he runs his mouth

going from tangent to tangent until things don't make sense anymore

at times starting to talk having no idea where he's taking things and discovering it only after he already said it

confusing you both and making you ask him if he's serious

to which he immediately cuts himself off and apologizes as if he just kicked a puppy

sometimes kneeling down to properly apologize is he takes things too far

If you have a collection of insects he is eager to see it

the first time you visited his room he immediately dragged you to his shelf to show you some sick bugs he has on amber or preserved in alcohol

Dave then listens attentively as you tell him about what kind of bug it is and what's their niche in the food chain

once you're done he tells you about how he found it behind the toiled after hearing Bro scream like a baby from getting spooked by it

If you have an ant farm or a bioactive enclosure with roly-polies and springtails Dave will practically beg you to let him feed them

just be careful since he will try to feed them pizza or some old candy he found in his pocket

and instead of water he'll give them apple juice thinking it's way better because he's watering and feeding them at the same time

You have to explain that that's the weirdest and stupidest idea you ever heard, but you sometimes let him put a drop of Aj in a bottle cap as a treat to your bugs

Congrats, you're the new target of his long and winded monologues

but you're more than expected to do it back to him

please tell him about deep sea isopods and the freak sizes they grow into, please tell him about the new hobby you've just started

Just talk to him

he craves your attention and company as much as he craves your touch, shit is unreal

[abigailshorel6]

FMP Bibliography

3D Quickie. “Extremely Easy Way to INFLATE Text in Blender.” Www.youtube.com, 6 Apr. 2023, www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_BVObiSj3I&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fsafe.txmblr.com%2F&embeds_referring_origin=https%3A%2F%2Fsafe.txmblr.com&source_ve_path=MjM4NTE&feature=emb_title. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Adobe. “Morphing One Shape into Another - Never Takes the Simplest Route.” Https://Community.adobe.com, 27 Jan. 2017, community.adobe.com/t5/after-effects-discussions/morphing-one-shape-into-another-never-takes-the-simplest-route/td-p/8809620. Accessed 15 May 2024.

“Autistic People Find It Harder to Identify Anger in Facial Expressions – New Study.” University of Birmingham, www.birmingham.ac.uk/news/2021/autistic-people-find-it-harder-to-identify-anger-in-facial-expressions-new-study. Accessed 26 Feb. 2024.

Autistica. “Alexithymia.” Autistica, 26 Feb. 2021, www.autistica.org.uk/what-is-autism/anxiety-and-autism-hub/alexithymia#:~:text=Alexithymia%20is%20a%20term%20to. Accessed 15 May 2024.

---. “Home - Autism.” Autistica, 16 Aug. 2017, www.autistica.org.uk/. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Behance. “Deconstructive Typography.” Behance, 1 Feb. 2010, www.behance.net/gallery/435896/Deconstructive-Typography. Accessed 15 May 2024.

---. “Typography Set V.” Behance, 1 Apr. 2017, www.behance.net/gallery/51582179/Typography-set-V?log_shim_removal=1. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Benedetta Films. “Benedettafilms.com.” Benedettafilms.com, benedettafilms.com/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Bennett, Harry. “Rooted in Japanese-Brazilian Culture, Inari Type Aims to Further Understand Its Heritage.” Www.itsnicethat.com, 22 Apr. 2020, www.itsnicethat.com/articles/inari-type-graphic-design-220420. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Bernard-Boos. “Studio Bernard-Boos.” Studio Bernard-Boos, bernard-boos.com/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

BlenderVitals. “Create Inflated Text in Blender in 1 Minute!” Www.youtube.com, 4 Nov. 2023, www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBwWIQoYbbI&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fsafe.txmblr.com%2F&embeds_referring_origin=https%3A%2F%2Fsafe.txmblr.com&source_ve_path=MjM4NTE&feature=emb_title. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Bloma. “BLOMA.” BLOMA, bloma.fr/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Bourgeois, Cesar . “César Bourgeois.” César Bourgeois, www.bourgeoiscesar.com/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Brandon Nickerson Studio. “BN Hooha.” Brandon Nickerson Portfolio, www.bnicks.com/shop/p/hooha. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Brewer, Jenny. “What Would Kama Sutra or Jekyll and Hyde Look like as a Font?” Www.itsnicethat.com, 6 Apr. 2020, www.itsnicethat.com/news/bbdo-guerrero-font-books-typeface-graphic-design-060420. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Cartwright, James. “Studio Dumbar’s Identity for Alzheimer Nederland Ticks All the Right Boxes.” Www.itsnicethat.com, 31 Oct. 2012, www.itsnicethat.com/articles/alzheimer-nederland. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Cherney, Kristeen. “Alexithymia: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments.” Healthline, 28 Jan. 2020, www.healthline.com/health/autism/alexithymia. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Cleveland Clinic. “Face Blindness (Prosopagnosia).” Cleveland Clinic, 7 July 2022, my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/23412-prosopagnosia-face-blindness. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Czebatul, Zuzanna . “Zuzanna Czebatul.” Zuzanna Czebatul, zzzzcccczzzz.com/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

D&AD. “Visual Identity Alzheimer Nederland | Studio Dumbar | Alzheimer Nederland | D&AD Awards 2013 Pencil Winner | Integrated Graphics | D&AD.” Www.dandad.org, www.dandad.org/awards/professional/2013/graphic-design/19667/visual-identity-alzheimer-nederland/#:~:text=Having%20met%20patients%2C%20families%20and. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Drake, Kitty. “Feeling Blue?” STACK Magazines, 10 Nov. 2021, stackmagazines.com/art-design/feeling-blue/. Accessed 15 May 2024.

DuckTUT. “Morph Any Logo & Objects into Other Objects in after Effects.” Www.youtube.com, 1 Mar. 2023, www.youtube.com/watch?v=bj-UW0AM384&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fsafe.txmblr.com%2F&embeds_referring_origin=https%3A%2F%2Fsafe.txmblr.com&source_ve_path=MjM4NTE&feature=emb_title. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Ernst, Joseph . “TAKE:90 | Joseph Ernst.” JOSEPH ERNST, 2016, www.josephernst.com/take90. Accessed 14 May 2024.

f37 Foundry. “F37 Jagger.” F37® Foundry, f37foundry.com/fonts/f37-jagger. Accessed 14 May 2024.

FBI. “The Seven Universal Facial Expressions of Emotion.” FBI: Law Enforcement Bulletin, leb.fbi.gov/image-repository/truth_8.jpg/view. Accessed 15 May 2024.

film_guy01. “My Shape Paths Keep Turning inside out When I Paste a Second Path as a Keyframe. How Can I Change This?” Reddit.com, 21 Mar. 2017, www.reddit.com/r/AfterEffects/comments/60qxgp/my_shape_paths_keep_turning_inside_out_when_i/. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Filmer-Court, Charlie. “Morten Halvorsen Creates Typefaces from His Parkinson’s-Suffering Mother’s Handwriting.” Www.itsnicethat.com, 14 Feb. 2020, www.itsnicethat.com/articles/morten-halvorsen-write-with-parkinsons-graphic-design-140220. Accessed 14 May 2024.

FredsFonts. “Login • Instagram.” Www.instagram.com, www.instagram.com/fredsfonts/?hl=en. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Gallery Institute. “Gallery Institute.” Gallery Institute, gallery.institute/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Garfield, Simon. Just My Type : A Book about Fonts. New York, New York, Gotham Books, 2012.

Good Type Foundry. “Byrd – Good Type Foundry.” Goodtypefoundry.com, goodtypefoundry.com/byrd/.

Gorny, Liz. “The Bad Thing Is a Comic about a Dog Who Feels Morally Conflicted over Killing Birds.” Www.itsnicethat.com, 3 Jan. 2023, www.itsnicethat.com/articles/maisie-cowell-the-bad-thing-illustration-030123. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Gowda, Mahesh Ramanina, et al. “Handprints of the Mind: Decoding Personality Traits and Handwritings.” Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine, vol. 37, no. 4, 2015, pp. 409–412, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4676206/, https://doi.org/10.4103/0253-7176.168580. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Grilli Type. “GT Pressura Typeface.” Www.gt-Pressura.com, www.gt-pressura.com/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Hingley, Olivia. “Finding Typographic Potential in Doodles, with Graphic Designer Harry Wright.” Www.itsnicethat.com, 8 Dec. 2022, www.itsnicethat.com/articles/harry-wright-discover-graphic-design-illustration-081222. Accessed 15 May 2024.

---. “Jazlyn Fung’s Charming Typeface Happy Fat Font Is a Manifesto for Body Positivity.” Www.itsnicethat.com, 12 Apr. 2022, www.itsnicethat.com/articles/jazlyn-fung-graphic-design-120422. Accessed 15 May 2024.

---. “Julia Schimautz Embraces the Imperfect with Her Alluring Risograph Animations.” Www.itsnicethat.com, 2 Nov. 2022, www.itsnicethat.com/articles/julia-schimautz-project-animation-021122. Accessed 15 May 2024.

---. “Made of Tiles, This Typeface Captures the Essence of Mediterranean Interior Design.” Www.itsnicethat.com, 13 Sept. 2023, www.itsnicethat.com/articles/error-error-stuido-rajola-graphic-design-project-130923. Accessed 15 May 2024.

---. “With Embroidered Lettering and Type Made of Stone, Designer Léna Théodore Champions Traditional Textures.” Www.itsnicethat.com, 4 Sept. 2023, www.itsnicethat.com/articles/lena-theodore-graphic-design-discover-040923. Accessed 15 May 2024.

---. “With Foam Type and Animal Shapes, Studio Tempo® Creates a Fun-Filled Identity for a Children’s Shampoo Bar.” Www.itsnicethat.com, 11 July 2023, www.itsnicethat.com/articles/studio-tempo-ama-graphic-design-product-design-project-110723. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Hingley, Olivia . “Former Studio Moniker Founders Publish Zine with Hato on the Complexities of Digital Technology.” Www.itsnicethat.com, 8 Feb. 2024, www.itsnicethat.com/news/luna-maurer-roel-wouters-hato-press-emoticons-dont-have-wrinkles-publication-080224. Accessed 15 May 2024.

“Intern — House of Common Affairs.” Intern, 11 June 2019, intern-mag.com/house-of-common-affairs/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

“Intern — Johan Elmehag.” Intern, 11 Mar. 2019, intern-mag.com/johan-elmehag/. Accessed 15 May 2024.

“Intern — Maarit Koobas.” Intern, 17 July 2017, intern-mag.com/maarit-koobas/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

“Intern — Victor Gérard.” Intern, 6 Jan. 2020, intern-mag.com/victor-gerard/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Jörn Hurtienne, et al. Happy Is Up, Sad Is down : 65 Metaphors for Design. Amsterdam, Bis Publishers, 2020.

Le Berg. “Le Berg.” Leberg.com, leberg.com/. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Lift Type. “Lift Type — a French Digital Type Foundry.” Lift Type, www.lift-type.fr/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Limited, Alamy. “Inflated, Deflated Gold Q R S T Letters, Balloon Font, 3d Rendering. Helium Alphabet for Decoration Text. Golden Latex Sign with Lowercase Bubble for Stock Photo - Alamy.” Www.alamy.com, href.li/?www.alamy.com/inflated-deflated-gold-q-r-s-t-letters-balloon-font-3d-rendering-helium-alphabet-for-decoration-text-golden-latex-sign-with-lowercase-bubble-for-image434755175.html. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Monotype. “Just How Neutral Is Helvetica?” Monotype., 30 June 2019, www.monotype.com/resources/articles/just-how-neutral-is-helvetica. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Mueller, Jennifer. “How to Analyze Handwriting (Graphology): 11 Beginner Tips.” WikiHow, 30 Apr. 2024, www.wikihow.com/Analyze-Handwriting-(Graphology). Accessed 15 May 2024.

Museum fur Gestaltung Zurich. “Stefan Sagmeister. ‌the Happy Show | Museum Für Gestaltung Zürich.” Museum-Gestaltung.ch, museum-gestaltung.ch/en/ausstellung/sagmeister-happy-show/. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Nada. “Arquitectura Interior.” Nada, estudionada.com/en/. Accessed 15 May 2024.

National Autistic Society. “Autism Support - Leading UK Charity - National Autistic Society.” Autism.org.uk, 2018, www.autism.org.uk/. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Olabarrieta, Sarai. “Sarai Olabarrieta.” Sarai Olabarrieta, www.saraiolabarrieta.com/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Paul, Jennifer. “The Use of Forensic Handwriting Analysis in Criminal Investigations to Unearth the Truth.” Medium, 27 May 2023, medium.com/@jennifer.paul12521/the-use-of-forensic-handwriting-analysis-in-criminal-investigations-to-unearth-the-truth-3591cd4b7b2f#:~:text=Handwriting%20analysis%20can%20reveal%20vital. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Playtype. “PLAYTYPE - Type Foundry - Retail and Custom-Made Fonts.” Playtype, playtype.com/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Ragged Edge. “East London Liquor Co. Rebrand - Changing the Conventions of Craft Spirits.” Ragged Edge, raggededge.com/work/east-london-liquor-co/. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Richardson, Jake. “SONICTYPE — Jake Richardson.” Jakerichardson.uk, jakerichardson.uk/SONICTYPE. Accessed 14 May 2024.

SAGMEISTER, STEFAN. “The Happy Show – Stefan Sagmeister.” Sagmeister.com, sagmeister.com/work/the-happy-show/. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Schrier, Daniel. “Instagram.” Www.instagram.com, www.instagram.com/schrier.xyz/?hl=en. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Seidel, Eva-Maria, et al. “The Impact of Facial Emotional Expressions on Behavioral Tendencies in Women and Men.” Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance, vol. 36, no. 2, 2010, pp. 500–507, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2852199/, https://doi.org/10.1037/a0018169. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Slum, Jacobs. “Jacobs Slum.” Jacobs Slum, jacobsslum.dk/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Smertimba Graphics. “Shape Morph Tutorial in after Effects | Morphing Shapes.” Www.youtube.com, 3 Feb. 2023, www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1v-fmPwFQ0&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fsafe.txmblr.com%2F&embeds_referring_origin=https%3A%2F%2Fsafe.txmblr.com&source_ve_path=MjM4NTE&feature=emb_title. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Suttie, Jill. “How Your Body Posture Communicates Feelings to Others.” Greater Good, 27 Apr. 2023, greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_your_body_posture_communicates_feelings_to_others. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Thomas, Elfie. “Anna Mills on the “Human” Quality of Her Typography.” Www.itsnicethat.com, 17 Dec. 2021, www.itsnicethat.com/articles/anna-mills-graphic-design-171221. Accessed 15 May 2024.

“Typographic Design, Typography Design, Typography Layout.” Pinterest, www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/121667627404353391/. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Utikal, Sophie. “SOPHIE UTIKAL.” SOPHIE UTIKAL, sofiutikal.net/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Vard, Charlotte. “Charlotte Vard • Graphic Design & Art Direction.” Charlotte Vard • Graphic Design & Art Direction, charlottevard.com/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Watson, Steve. “A Hole Lot of Fun.” STACK Magazines, 19 Oct. 2022, stackmagazines.com/current-affairs/a-hole-lot-of-fun/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

---. “A Magazine for Getting Lost.” STACK Magazines, 9 Jan. 2024, stackmagazines.com/art-design/a-magazine-for-getting-lost/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

---. “Avoiding Audience Capture.” STACK Magazines, 13 July 2023, stackmagazines.com/current-affairs/avoiding-audience-capture-in-print/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

---. “Magazines We Want to Stroke.” STACK Magazines, 14 Feb. 2022, stackmagazines.com/everything/magazines-we-want-to-stroke/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

---. “The Strange World of Yep Yep.” STACK Magazines, 14 Nov. 2022, stackmagazines.com/art-design/the-strange-world-of-yep-yep/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

---. “Unrestricted Contents.” STACK Magazines, 25 Apr. 2023, stackmagazines.com/art-design/unrestricted-contents/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

---. “Untold Stories in Meantime Magazine.” STACK Magazines, 17 Apr. 2023, stackmagazines.com/travel/untold-stories-in-meantime-magazine/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Weinzettel, Jakob . “POV: Using the Human Body to Create Type Taps into Our Deepest Desires.” Www.itsnicethat.com, 20 Mar. 2024, www.itsnicethat.com/articles/pov-the-human-alphabet-visual-trend-graphic-design-200324. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Weinzierl, Terrance. “Right Place, Right Time: The Complicated Legacy of Helvetica, One of the World’s Most Iconic Typefaces.” Monotype., 1 Nov. 2019, https://www.monotype.com/resources/articles/complicated-legacy-helvetica. Accessed 15 May 2024.

Well Advised Studio. “WAS.” WAS, welladvisedstudio.com/. Accessed 14 May 2024.

Zain, Basit. “Sans Serif: The Neutral Elegance for Typography.” Www.linkedin.com, 5 Oct. 2023, www.linkedin.com/pulse/sans-serif-neutral-elegance-typography-basit-zain/. Accessed 15 May 2024.

[lovehealgrow]

How To Help Your Neurodiverse Team Thrive At Work

Supporting neurodiverse employees isn’t just a matter of inclusivity and diversity; it’s a strategic advantage for your organization. Neurodiverse individuals bring a wide array of skills, perspectives, and problem-solving approaches to the table. By fostering an environment where they can thrive, you tap into a rich reservoir of creativity, innovation, and talent that can drive your company’s success. Moreover, creating a workplace that values neurodiversity sets a positive example for all employees, promoting a culture of empathy, understanding, and acceptance.

When neurodiverse individuals feel supported and empowered, they are more likely to contribute their best work, leading to increased productivity, improved team dynamics, and a stronger, more competitive business in the long run. Supporting your neurodiverse team isn’t just the right thing to do; it’s a strategic imperative that benefits everyone involved. Here’s what you need to know to help your neurodiverse team thrive at work.

What Is Neurodiversity?

Neurodiversity is a concept that recognizes and celebrates the natural variation in neurological functioning among individuals. It acknowledges that the human brain is incredibly diverse, and people may have different cognitive and sensory profiles. Within the context of the workplace, neurodiversity encompasses a wide range of conditions, including autism spectrum, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, alexithymia, and more. Embracing neurodiversity means valuing the unique strengths and perspectives that neurodiverse individuals bring to the table. It’s about fostering an inclusive environment where everyone, regardless of their neurological differences, can thrive and contribute effectively.

Neurodiversity challenges traditional notions of “normal” and encourages organizations to move beyond a one-size-fits-all approach to accommodate the varying needs and talents of their employees. By creating a workplace culture that respects neurodiversity, companies can unleash the innovative thinking, problem-solving abilities, and creativity of neurodiverse individuals, ultimately driving greater success, diversity of thought, and inclusivity within their teams.

Neurodiverse Employees, or Employees with Neurodiversity?

When talking about neurodiversity in the workplace, you may run into the question of person-first or identity-first language. Person-first language emphasizes the person before the condition– for example, “person with dyspraxia” or “person with ADHD.” Identity-first language puts the condition first– for example, “autistic person.” Person-first or identify-first language are both ok, and your neurodiverse employees will likely have a preference. See what they like, and use that for them. It’s that simple!

How To Help Neurodiverse Employees Thrive

The first thing you need to remember is that you should never single anybody out. Take extra precautions to avoid infantilization. You should hold the quality of your neurodiverse team’s work to the same standards as neurotypical employees’ results; where the differences come in involve support, work processes, accommodations, and other related areas. Think of it this way: The destination is the same for all team members, but neurodiverse team members might be using a different map or taking a different route. What matters is that everybody gets to where they’re going.

Secondly, your company needs accommodation policies for neurodiversity. This is vital to any workplace– not just because there is a great deal more acceptance and understanding of neurodiversity, but also because many of the conditions under the neurodiversity umbrella are disabilities and must be acccommodated for under the ADA. It’s not just about being a good place to work, it’s about legal compliance and protection. The types of accommodations that neurodiverse employees will benefit from include, but aren’t limited to, the following:

Learning about neurodiversity and common accommodations can help make knowing how to support your neurodiverse team much easier, as can the following tips and guidelines:

Educate Your Team: Start by educating your entire team about neurodiversity. Encourage open discussions about different neurological profiles, dispelling myths, and fostering understanding.

Provide Clear Communication: Offer explicit, clear instructions and expectations. Neurodiverse individuals may benefit from straightforward and unambiguous communication. Don’t use phrases like “See me,” or “we need to talk” without any additional explanation– explain yourself, and be prepared to allow alternate communication formats like email, text, or chat instead of in-person discussions.

Flexible Work Arrangements: Allow for flexible work hours or remote work options. This can help neurodiverse employees better manage sensory sensitivities or other challenges.

Sensory-Friendly Workspaces: Create a sensory-friendly workspace by offering noise-canceling headphones, adjustable lighting, or scent-free requirements to accommodate sensory sensitivities.

Structured Routines: Offer a structured and predictable routine, which can provide a sense of security and reduce anxiety for some neurodiverse individuals.

Mentoring and Coaching: Pair neurodiverse employees with mentors or coaches who can provide guidance and support in navigating workplace challenges.

Feedback and Recognition: Provide regular feedback and recognition for good work. Constructive feedback helps neurodiverse individuals understand their strengths and areas for improvement. Be aware that many neurodiverse individuals experience rejection-sensitive dysphoria, so make sure that feedback is clear, constructive, and as free from loaded, emotional phrasing as possible.

Accessibility Accommodations: Ensure that all digital and physical workplace materials are accessible. This includes documents in alternative formats, like large print or special fonts for dyslexic employees.

Neurodiversity Training: Offer neurodiversity training for managers and colleagues. This training can help them better understand and interact with neurodiverse team members.

Individualized Support Plans: Collaborate with neurodiverse employees to create individualized support plans that address their unique needs and strengths.

Social Inclusion Initiatives: Organize team-building activities that are inclusive and accommodate diverse communication styles. Encourage colleagues to connect on a personal level.

Neurodiverse Hiring Initiatives: Actively recruit neurodiverse talent through partnerships with organizations focused on neurodiversity employment.

Accommodate Sensory Overload: Have a designated quiet room where employees can retreat if they are experiencing sensory overload or stress.

Clear Career Pathways: Provide clear career progression paths, outlining the skills and milestones required to advance within the organization. Your neurodiverse employees deserve the same advancement opportunities as everybody else.

Mental Health Support: Offer mental health resources and support to address the unique stressors that neurodiverse individuals may face. Make sure that your workplace’s insurance plan provides access to therapists who are trained in neurodiversity issues.

Neurodiverse Employee Resource Groups: Establish employee resource groups where neurodiverse employees can connect, share experiences, and provide feedback.

Inclusive Language: Promote the use of inclusive language in all communications, avoiding derogatory or stigmatizing terms.

Patience and Understanding: Foster a culture of patience and understanding among colleagues. Recognize that everyone has different strengths and areas for growth.

Regular Check-Ins: Schedule regular check-ins with neurodiverse employees to discuss their progress, challenges, and any necessary adjustments. Train your managers about neurodiversity, and make sure they know how to support these employees.

Continuous Learning: Stay informed about advancements in neurodiversity research and best practices, and be willing to adapt your strategies accordingly. Follow groups like ASAN, ADDA, and the Dyspraxia Foundation

Supporting neurodiverse employees in the workplace isn’t just a matter of compliance; it’s a commitment to embracing diversity and reaping the benefits of a truly inclusive workforce. By implementing accommodations and fostering an environment of understanding and acceptance, you can make your employees feel engaged, included, and supported. It’s good for everyone– support for neurodiversity fuels innovation and your company’s overall success.

If you have neurodivergent employees and want to create resource packets or information sheets, consider including Love Heal Grow as a therapeutic resource. We have some incredible specialists for autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergencies. Whether you want to support neurodivergent employees or you’re neurodivergent yourself, our dedicated team is here for you. Contact us today to get started!

[reviewsthatburn]

This is a follow-up to my review of "Feed Them Silence" by Lee Mandelo, involving some thoughts that are too personal to make sense in the review as they swiftly veer away from the text specifically and instead into a broader meta-conversation of books like this which I have read previously, assumed correlations between emotional complexity and humanity, and how processing these thoughts has prompted me to make a change in my own life. 

CW for discussion of ableism, dehumanization, animal cruelty/death, body-horror-adjacent concepts, and brief mentions of racism and genocide.

-----

How some of my neurodivergences affect me as a reader and reviewer

I have alexithymia, which is a term referring to a collection of symptoms related to a combination of “difficulty identifying feelings, difficulty describing feelings to other people, a stimulus-bound, externally oriented thinking style, and constricted imaginal processes” (Wikipedia link with sources). Experientially, I don’t like that the first two descriptions seem to assume that I and others like me have some emotional capacity, if only I/we could access it. Having lived my whole life without that additional capacity or nuance of emotion, I’m content to live the rest of my life without it and continue my stimulus-driven existence as one that keeps me interested, occasionally happy, and avoiding boredom as much as possible. I’ve turned my avoidance of boredom into a constant stream of projects (one of which is this review blog and associated podcast). 

The thing which occasionally causes trouble for me is my lack of capacity to imagine, something which isn’t always experienced by other alexithymics, but which seems to surprise and disturb people who think at all about what it means for me, from their imagination-heavy perspectives. The biggest way this affects me is as a form of aphantasia, where I can only picture things I’ve literally seen. In my reading, I prefer dialogue-heavy books which explain the reasons for various actions alongside physical descriptions. If I watch the movie version of a book then the movie version is the only thing I can picture, no matter how much it diverges from what’s described in the original text. Anyone who follows me on TheStoryGraph might notice the sheer number of books I DNF because they over-described things and told me what color everything is, trying to paint a picture with their words. I dislike an overemphasis on visual detail, or repeatedly describing facial expressions instead of translating them into thoughts or emotions, all of which makes the story unintelligible to me.

This is complicated by factors such as that I am an allistic (not autistic) person with alexithymia, but many Western cultural assumptions about autistic people are actually descriptions of alexithymia (plus or minus meltdowns), because there can be overlap between both states. I just happen to be in the less stereotypical position of being alexithymic, but not autistic. 

I have for some time (even before learning specifically about alexithymia) identified as a philosophical zombie on the basis of a basic awareness that the culturally dominant terms around me imply this greater complexity in other people which I don’t have and don’t experience. I find this conceptually interesting, and a somewhat pithy way of getting across to people without alexithymia (or without other conditions which similarly constrict emotional experience) the gulf between their emotional life and mine.

In the course of this essay I use some references to emotions that reach beyond my personal palette of neutral, happy/good, bored/bad, excited/interested (this interest is content-neutral and can be about “good” or “bad” topics), and sad/disappointed. I do this because I generally understand the context that is implied by more specific emotional terms, but not because I’m literally feeling the emotions. I’m used to saying the more specific terms in conversations with other people (which is likely a form of masking). Because my experience as an alexithymic is central to my reaction to "Feed Them Silence" and ideas of neurological complexity as a delineation of moral responsibility, I’ll translate my actual emotion from the more generally accessible specific term when possible.

Full essay at link below.

[dysphoric-culture-is]

Dysphoric autistic/alexithymic culture is not being able to describe your dysphoria beyond ‘feels bad’

(For those who don’t know, alexithymia is a trait where people have difficulty processing/identifying/describing emotions and other feelings, like pain or hunger. It’s especially common in autistic people.)

Dysphoric culture is!

Also, it’s totally okay if you can't describe it super clearly. People should (in an ideal world, with no ableism) respect your feelings no matter your level of emotional processing ability.

[mickeys-malarkey]

aspec in tertiary attraction romoaro culture is relating to both aro folks “making up crushes” and romoaro folks “confusing tertiary attraction with romantic”

Add in alexithymia and autistic masking and it's 2x even if you do get crushes sometimes!

[dullahandyke]

Alexithymia is constantly switching between 'I don't know if I've ever felt true happiness' and 'this thing brings me a light energy I cant quite describe but lifts me up nonetheless' and they're both in the exact same tone of voice

[neurodiversebones]

autistic brennan !!!

in my autistic opinion... here you go. a SLIGHTLY more organized version of what i have dropped in the DMs of anyone who is willing to listen, copy and pasted from a google doc i have so eloquently named "bones is fucking autistic" !!

this headcanon is like. 95% confirmed, which kind of makes my heart do a little "!!!" <3 idk brennan means a Lot to me and always did as a young autistic afab person :-) so here you go !! (under the cut)

okay SO here is my explanation for my headcanon, explained in bullet points- this took up multiple google docs pages so i hope you're ready

emotional display:

has absolutely zero poker face- we see this frequently. there are too many instances to count where she cannot hide her facial expressions !! it is also referenced by booth in late season 8, and i think a few other characters have mentioned it throughout the series?

this is especially in the earlier seasons, but her response to stress and trauma is Very Neurodivergent. she rarely has an outward response- it's so rare to see her cry before season 7/8 ?? this could also definitely be a trauma thing but like,,, trauma symptoms and autistic traits are unfortunately hard to differentiate between because autistic people tend to go through more traumatic situations

not exactly emotional display, but similar- she clearly has alexithymia, or something of the sort (basically, she struggles to recognize her own emotions). this is exhibited a few times- the one i can remember right now is "i don't understand what i'm feeling" "you understand happy, right?" (conversation with angela, season 9). this is actually something i have rarely seen in a character- at least not done well. it makes me very happy !!!

empathy:

she struggles to understand why others would think differently than her- her view of the world is Correct in her eyes, and she finds it difficult to look from someone else's point of view. this frequently ends in her criticizing those around her- her view of the world is incredibly black and white, so when others disagree with her, she believes they must be wrong.

extension of the black and white thinking- she doesn't understand concepts, no matter how hard she tries. she needs evidence and proof. examples of this would be her views on god/religion, love (pre-season 6), and marriage (pre-season 8)

despite her lack of empathy toward people, she exhibits a lot of empathy toward animals. this is actually a really common autistic trait?? examples of this would be her emotional attachment to the dogs in 4x04, or her explosive reaction to finding out the tiger was killed in 8x04

social/conversational skills:

this is probably her most obvious and easily recognizable autistic trait- it's what made me go "she's autistic" after watching a few episodes

she does not understand jokes or sarcasm very well- she frequently gets confused by jokes, explaining why they aren't funny or don't make sense, especially pop culture jokes. when she does understand jokes or pop culture references, she gets very excited and explains them out loud, even though everyone around her already understands (just adding- i love this so much ?? her explaining jokes is Very Cute. i'm sorry i'm a simple gay who can't go ten minutes without declaring my love for her)

struggles with small talk and social niceties- this is used as a joke in nearly every episode. she doesn't do small talk well- preferring to talk about topics that are actually important or interest her. she doesn't see the need for most social conventions either, which leads to her frequently being seen as rude.

she misses social cues in conversations- she frequently brings up topics that are probably not Appropriate for the setting (talking about dead bodies in a restaurant, talking about sex while standing over a dead body, etc.)

she is incredibly literal, and doesn't understand metaphorical speak. this goes hand in hand with the not understanding jokes- she takes many phrases at face value, sometimes confusing others

tone:

she frequently comes off as cold or blunt without meaning to be- many people read her as "heartless" or just uninterested because of the way she speaks, even when she is very invested.

i don't know how to explain this other than her speaking pattern is Very Autistic- the way she pauses mid sentence all the time, the facial expressions she makes while speaking, it's all autism babey !!!

intense focus on one topic:

okay it's very obvious that her special interests are forensics and anthropology

she gets hyperfocused, often losing herself in her work and putting herself through the ringer for it. she puts her work above (almost) everything, and has stated on multiple occasions that she would be nothing without her work.

she often explains the things around her with references to anthropology and ancient civilizations- she uses these references to explain her feelings, the situations she's in, and frequently, to solve crimes. things make sense to her when she thinks about them like this.

not engaging with peers in an "expected" way:

she is often showed to have difficulty getting close with people- she doesn't like showing emotion to others, and would rather just talk about the task at hand. this could very well be explained by her trauma background- but i believe it's probably a bit of both.

she finds it difficult to bond with her peers over common things, like pop culture, and rather talks about work or other things. she doesn't open up to a lot of people, even those who she is incredibly close with.

other/misc.:

stimming !! this doesn't have enough instances to get its own section, but i like to interpret that wonder woman scene as vestibular stimming, purely because i love to spin and jump !!!!

detail oriented, to the point of obsession. it's common for autistic people to get caught up in the details of things, which she definitely does.

views on sexuality differ from the "norm"- she is very critical of monogamy during the first half of the series, and does not see the point in marriage. also she's definitely arospec, just putting that out there <3

i am autistic and i love her therefore i'm right

final notes:

i think she's one of my favourite autistic characters to exist- i usually despise the socially awkward detective trope, but it's handled well here. the people around her don't expect her to change the innate aspects of who she is- rather, they love her unconditionally (even if they are exasperated at times- which is natural to feel with people that you love)

i very much like that they didn't go with the socially awkward + smart = unattractive trope either- she knows that she's hot, and so do the people around her. i'm so sick of nerdy girls not being allowed to be hot 😭 especially when it comes to autistic-coded characters- let autistic people have sex lives 2k21

she just,,, holds a very special place in my heart. as an undiagnosed autistic afab kid, she meant a lot to me. i saw a woman on screen who was smart like me and sometimes confused people because of her intelligence, who didn't really get social situations, who didn't know how to express how she felt. she was like me- and she loved herself, and people loved her. she's a very important character to me and has been since i was really young <3

thank you SO MUCH to anybody who read this- brennan is the loml and i will infodump about her until the end of time

[noddytheornithopod]

A love letter to Kokoro Mitsume

IDK how much SDRA2 is discussed and especially in terms of character analysis but Kokoro Mitsume’s story hits me really hard, honestly. She’s probably my favourite character in the game. Yes, she might be incredibly amoral and literally had a child just to treat them as an experiment, but I love her anyway, fucked upness and all.

Of course there’s the issue on whether the NDness of Kokoro (she has alexithymia, the difficulty or outright inability to recognise emotions in herself and others) is used to make her a villain, but... hear me out, I have a take on this. It’s probably headcanon, I’m not sure if LINUJ thought this deep about it, but hear me out.

So if you play her free time events, Kokoro explains she is how she is because of her alexithymia. Given that I’m Autistic myself and I myself sometimes struggle reading emotions in people, and Kokoro herself displayed a lot of Autistic behaviour, I couldn’t help but empathise with her.

She describes that when she was a child, her teacher saw how she was and that led to her parents taking her to a mental hospital for treatment, and eventually she ended up recognising the curiosity in herself, and that curiosity became a desire to understand emotions. This is how she comes to be really good at reading other people despite her condition, but she still wants to try and understand the emotions in herself, and has to use things like context to figure out what exactly she’s feeling.

Anyway, where I’m going with this is... I can’t help but get the sense that Kokoro feels like she’s “wrong” or “broken” on some level? The way she calls alexithymia a disease and talking about trying to cure it (which could just be ignorance on LINUJ’s part, I expect cure culture as the default unfortunately) kinda gives me that vibe. And basically, her curiosity developed because other people saw her and thought something was wrong with her. She asked “what are emotions, and what are they in me?” because she likely first asked “is something wrong with me?”

I don’t even know if Kokoro herself realises this. If she struggled to understand her own emotions, then I’d be surprised if she did, especially since she now has a single minded devotion to her research on emotions and especially “primitive emotions”.

So my thesis here is basically, because Kokoro on some level realised people made her feel like she was wrong or broken because of her different mind, the curiosity in her made her research emotions. Because curiosity is the only emotion she can understand in herself, that intensified, as she described it. And because that’s all that matters to her, she’s willing to sacrifice ethics to get the data she seeks.

There’s a part of her story I think is yet to be known though. In the killing school trip and free time events, we do see hesitation in performing these experiments. She says it’s because she lacks the data, but even when someone like Sora is around (who with context we realise Kokoro is interested in her because it turns out she’s just a program existing through Akane Taira’s mind), she seems to be trying to restrain herself, and she also seems to genuinely want to help the others escape the killing school trip.

Sora rightfully points out that even if Kokoro doesn’t think so about herself, she is a kind and caring person on some level. If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t be questioning her desires like this. Yet we see in the present in the real world, Kokoro is someone not only willing to have a child just to experiment on it, and when that goes wrong she’d sacrifice her marriage to keep experimenting (I do wonder how she got married actually, there’s definitely a story there), but she lets Alter Ego Mikado continue to exist even as he is actively malevolent just so she can try and use the AE to understand primitive emotions better.

So I’m suggesting that it feels like something happened between when she was young, where her mind in the killing school trip is set to, and when she’s a middle aged woman doing the experiments she is. I have no idea what that could be, but I feel like something caused any of that hesitation and compassion to disappear. She describes even in the free times that she’d do the things she’d do without hesitation, but as mentioned Sora realises her actions say otherwise.

Could it be as simple as her curiosity growing stronger, with less pressure on it? Did something happen with Mr Kurokawa? Who even knows. Point is, it feels like she got worse overtime.

So to summarise, in my eyes, Kokoro Mitsume isn’t just some amoral mad scientist, but the product of an ableist, sanist society. She still did the horrible things she did, and her daughter Mikako Kurokawa would have every right to be upset at her for the way she was treated, nevermind the victims of the killing game. My point is simply that I feel like if Kokoro grew up in a more understanding and compassionate environment to people like her, she wouldn’t have developed the obsession she did. Even if she did end up wanting to learn more about herself (because who wouldn’t?), I feel like without the external pressure of parents, teachers and the psychiatric system looking at her as having something “wrong” with her, she wouldn’t have developed an obsession this all consuming.

I have no idea what LINUJ was thinking when writing her. I do think there’s arguments to be made some of this could just be ableist ignorance (I mean, has Danganronpa ever been “woke” lol), but I also think ND people should be allowed to be complicated characters who can have all kinds of stories, happy or tragic. Honestly, I love that Kokoro is a fucked up mad scientist. I gravitate to these kinds of characters, maybe because I see parts of myself in them. Neurodivergent people may often be villainised for our traits, but I think it’s also concerning that people want to remove our agency and act like we can’t do anything wrong, and thus we end up getting very sanitised representation.

Not sure if any of this even makes sense, but my point is: I love Kokoro Mistume, death of the author or not, and I love her because she’s neurodivergent and messed up. I totally see why people wouldn’t like her (look, having a kid just to make them an experiment is fucked up no matter how you look at it), and if people are uncomfortable because she may perpetuate certain stereotypes about neurodivergent people, but I still love her regardless.