#baby fawn rescued

[hoofpeet]

Faun parents leaving their baby behind the red ball thing at target while they get groceries inside <3

[cinnagrrl]

i need someone sweetly obsessed with me, who reassures me till i don't have any thoughts in my pretty head and can love in peace

[amonisis]

I felt like I was a Disney Princess!

[tinkerleaf]

Drunken Ballads

This one is so funny to me. Don't judge me for the song choice, I've been blasting it for days. Synopsis: reader gets tipsy, dazai and chuuya to the rescue Genre: comedy? Words: 675 Pairing: dazai/reader/chuuya Warnings: cursing, a little suggestive, alcohol

The Armed Detective Agency didn’t allow you to drink too often, and there was a reason for that. There’s a story that the office tells the newbies before they get carried away, just to keep them from acting out the way you did one special night.

After a particularly hard mission, you felt you needed a little something to relieve the tension you felt. You decided to go to a nice bar that offered cute little cocktails because you deserved it. It had been a rough week for you, and nothing hits the spot better than getting drunk.

At the time, you had only meant to get a little buzzed. Unfortunately, you were wasted.

Something that this bar was known for was its large stage for karaoke and other forms of live music. There was a dancefloor in front of it, and behind that stood a plethora of couches and tables. Lots of people were there, it was quite popular.

This was the first time you had ever been to this club, and you failed to consider who owned it. Some of the Port Mafia members were scattered throughout the place, but you wouldn’t have realized it anyway due to your condition.

A certain redhead placed himself in a black leather chair at the opposite end of the room. He didn’t know you were there yet, but it wouldn’t be long before he did. He sipped on the last bit of his wine, and before calling someone to fill his glass, he choked. He almost dropped it when he saw you on the stage, singing “…Baby One More Time” (specifically the Tenacious D version).

“No fucking way…” He couldn’t lie, you were doing great, but you were certainly drunk out of your mind.

“Hey boss, isn’t that-”

“Nope.” He lied. He knew this would be awful for your image if people realized who you worked for.

The mafioso didn’t respond, other than to roll his eyes.

Halfway through your little “performance”, Chuuya reluctantly dialed a number he hadn’t rung in a while.

There wasn’t an answer. Instead, he finds Dazai walking up to him with a smug look on his face. “They sure know how to put on a show, huh?”

“The crowd’s loving it.” He glances over to his former partner, “Apparently so are you.”

“Oh, shut up. I’m just waiting for them to fall off the stage.”

“You didn’t have to call me by the way. I already knew about their after-work plans, but I had no idea it would be this entertaining.”

When you finally made eye contact with the two, you knew you were in trouble. You quickly stumbled down the side stairs and attempted to escape without them noticing. This was an awful plan, however. Your current state was equivalent to a fawn, wobbling to keep balance.

A strong arm pulled you close. “Where do you think you’re going like that?” Chuuya asked. “You can barely walk!” His cologne was intoxicating.

“You’re so handsome…” You slurred quietly.

“Damn, they really are wasted,” Dazai retorted, earning a scoff from the other man. He moved some of your hair from your face, “Guess it’s time you come back with me, sweetheart.”

You smiled, “You both can take me home.” Dazai laughed, while Chuuya’s eyes widened.

“Get them out of here. Make sure they get home safe.”

“Of course.”

The rest of the night was a blur. All you could remember was Dazai taking you back to your apartment and then waking up in your bed the next morning. He left a note on your nightstand, along with a glass of water and some painkillers.

Upon walking into the office later, you had a serious migraine. You couldn’t afford to stay home, however, due to the massive amount of paperwork you had to fill out from the last case.

Sitting at your desk, Dazai had quite a smirk on his face. “How you feelin’?”

You held your palm at him. “I don’t want to hear it from you right now.”

[matchavellichor]

hello !! This idea is a bit basic, but I was wondering if you could write an ominis x fmc fic where the mc is coddling an animal with all sorts of affection and ominis, who has a crush on the mc, is jealous. It’s a pretty fluffy request, but perhaps the ending could be a bit suggestive? Anyway, regardless of whether you take this request or not, thank you for all your work! I have had such a struggle finding good ominis pieces lately

A Peculiar Pet

Ominis Gaunt x f!MC - Fluff - 2.2k words

A/N: hiii, ty for the request. this was sooo cute and i had a lot of fun writing it! the ending isn't suggestive and maybe a bit too platonic/unrequited, but i might make a part two if that's something you guys would like (:

Summary: After MC rescues a strange cat on her latest trip to Hogsmeade, her friendship with Ominis becomes strained by his sudden jealousy.

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Banter, Unrequited Love, Jealous Ominis, MC is a Cat Person, Ominis is Not

“What the hell is that?”

She scowled, looking up at Sebastian who was staring down at the purring carpet in her lap.

“That is my familiar,” she informed, stroking gently under what—presumably—was supposed to be a chin. “Poor thing was nearly starving to death just outside of the Hog’s Head. I rescued him.”

Sebastian eyed the creature warily. “Are you sure? By the looks of it, you were too late.”

“Oh, shut up, will you?” she wrapped her arms around the cat protectively and it gave a little grunt of approval. “He just needs a bit of a bath. Isn’t that right, Snuggles? My beautiful baby boy, yes, yes you are. Oh, mummy loves you so much—”

“You’ve given birth?” Ominis suddenly emerged beside Sebastian, looking just as appalled.

“Yes. To an abomination,” he grimaced. “Clawed its way out of her womb straight from the depths of Hell.”

“I didn’t ask for the opinion of either of you,” she seethed, standing up abruptly and clutching the mass of fur protectively to her chest. “If you’ll excuse me, Snuggles and I will be finding more pleasant company.”

She stormed past the two and Ominis blinked confusedly after her. Sebastian simply raised his brows.

“What was that all about?”

Sebastian shrugged. “Motherhood, I suppose.”

//

“Is that…normal?”

Ominis clenched his jaw as he listened to her start on what must have been the eighth bedtime story just that evening. She had been planting kisses all over the creature for the past hour, fawning over him and drowning him in all kinds of affection. Snuggles showed little more than a periodical snot-nosed snuffle in appreciation.

Sebastian shrugged, glancing over. “Beats me. Maybe it’s hormones or something.”

“She’s obsessed with it! That can’t be healthy. Shouldn’t we do something?”

Sebastian laughed. “Relax, Ominis. It’s a cat. The thing’s a hundred years old anyway, let her care for the critter while it’s on its last legs.”

“I suppose so,” Ominis relented, still slightly acerbic.

He listened to her voice taper out, words becoming slurred as exhaustion seeped into her. He rose from his seat with a sigh, trying his best to be open-minded about the ordeal.

“Here, let me watch over him,” he said, reaching a hand towards her shoulder to gently rouse her. “You should really get some sleep.”

As soon as his hand touched her, the creature immediately shot up and hissed at him, its abnormally sharp teeth viciously bared. He jerked back in surprise and she blinked awake, shushing the feline with soothing coos. “It’s alright, Snuggles, he’s a friend.”

The furball from Hell did not look convinced.

“I’m fine, Ominis,” she murmured through a yawn, sitting up to stretch. “He’s had a fever all day, I have to keep an eye on him.”

“You have to keep an eye on yourself,” he grumbled.

“I’m fine,” she insisted, already beginning her coddling again. “And you will be too, won’t you, angel? Yes, you will! Mummy will make sure of it.”

Ominis heaved a long-suffering sigh and retreated back to his armchair. Sebastian eyed the defeated expression on the blonde’s face for a moment, looking starkly amused.

//

That following weekend, Ominis retreated to the common room for his usual plans of afternoon reading, hoping that this time she wouldn’t bail on him like she’d been doing all week.

“Oh, my, look at you! Aren’t you handsome?”

He froze at the bottom of the stairs, hand gripping the railing. He was suddenly aware of an unbidden heat rising to his cheeks. “I’m–I’m sorry?”

“Oh, yes you are,” she cooed, ignoring him. “My precious boy.”

Ominis frowned, shoulders sinking at the realization of who she was actually speaking to. He tried to suppress his sour mood as best as he could as he stalked past her towards his usual seat in front of the fireplace.

He opened his book and lasted about two pages before the sounds of her fawning over the little monster ground his patience down to the bones.

“Do you mind?” he bit out tersely. “I’m allergic,” he lied.

“I’m not even near you.”

That’s precisely the problem, he wanted to say, bitter about how distanced she’d been ever since she’d brought the creature home. As woe as Ominis was to admit he was jealous of a cat, it was hard not to be when he’d seemingly been completely replaced.

Before, he had been her reading partner. They’d share one of the loveseats in an isolated corner of the common room and trade tidbits of whatever novel they were consumed in. Now, his spot was occupied by the matted ball of fur she called her baby.

He shut his book abruptly, not even bothering to conceal his sneer. “Must you spend every waking minute with that thing?”

She glanced up at him, surprised by his sudden hostility. “What’s the matter with you, Ominis?”

“What’s the matter with me? You’re the one obsessing over a cat. It’s ridiculous.”

“He needs me. Must you be so inconsiderate?”

Ominis’ fists clenched in frustration at his sides. “Well, he isn’t the only one who needs you!”

There was a long silence in which she stared at him perplexed. “What is that supposed to mean?”

He reddened, staring down at his shoes. “I…just mean that you’re…that…”

“Go on,” she spat, tone lacking all patience. “Say what you mean.”

He glanced up sharply. “You’re neglecting all of your friends to care for that dreadful monster.”

She gasped, covering what was presumably the furball’s ears, but looked more like shriveled horns covered in hair. “Well, maybe it’s because I can’t bear to be around friends who are all so heartless.”

Ominis looked like she might as well have slapped him.

She stormed off with the cat in her arms for the second time that week, leaving Ominis to contemplate with an admittedly inappropriate sense of possessiveness when he’d ever get her back for himself.

//

Following their fight, Ominis had resigned himself to wallowing over the tattered remains of their friendship for the next few days when his melancholic reverie was shattered by a Gryffindor storming into the Slytherin common room.

Sebastian glanced up, looking as appalled as he would if a ten-foot troll had broken in. “How did you get in here?”

Garreth snorted. “It’s not like you lot are particularly creative with your passwords. Aspiration, really? What’s next, cunning?”

“That was last month’s…” Sebastian sighed under his breath, sounding defeated.

She appeared making her way down the common room steps a few moments later, pointedly ignoring Sebastian and Ominis’ presence and presenting Garreth with the feral throw-rug.

“Godric’s saggy bollocks, where the hell did you get that?” Garreth shrieked, nearly dropping all the Potions supplies in his hands.

She scowled. “Don’t tell me you lack all empathy as well, Weasley.”

He blinked at the creature in her arms warily. “I thought you said you needed a fever relief potion for a cat.”

“I do,” she frowned. “Snuffles has been sick all week.”

“That is not a cat.”

“Told you,” Sebastian muttered from his place beside Ominis, eliciting a swat to his arm.

Her tone immediately grew tense with defensive indignation. “So what if he’s a bit…unconventional looking? That doesn’t make him any less deserving of love and affection!”

“No, you misunderstand me,” Garreth said gravely, eyes still wide. He stalked towards her slowly with his hands outstretched, as if she were holding a grenade with its pin pulled out. “That is not a cat. That… is a bloody manticore.”

Ominis blanched. Sebastian dropped all pretenses of feigning he wasn’t eavesdropping and burst out laughing. “Oh, Merlin, that’s just too good.”

Her face fell. “What?”

She glanced down at Snuggles perched happily in her arms, brows furrowed as she studied him more intently.

“Oh dear Circe, put it down!” Garreth gasped when the creature moved, stretching lazily. It seemed hardly phased by the commotion around it. “You’re lucky it’s only a few weeks old and its poison glands haven’t matured yet. Although, even this young its bite is still strong enough to cut clean through bone.”

She seemed hardly deterred by the revelation. Cautiously, she pulled back the matted fur covering its head and gasped when an infantile, almost human-looking face was revealed. One thing was certain, it was positively not a cat.

Snuggles blinked back lazily at her, still purring while he rubbed himself affectionately on her arm. She frowned and glanced up at her friends, looking starkly heartbroken.

“I…I suppose…you all were right.”

Something in Ominis’ chest seized at how defeated she sounded.

She stared tearfully down at the manticore in her arms. “I’m sorry, Snuffles.”

“Let’s get it to Professor Howin,” Garreth spoke up, attempting to place a comforting hand on her shoulder, though he looked too wary of Snuffles to actually touch her. “She’ll know what to do.”

She nodded reluctantly.

//

Professor Howin contacted the Ministry and successfully turned in the manticore to magizoologists by the following morning.

Despite Howin’s repeated insistence that it was the safest option for Snuggles, its departure was no easy cross to bear for its former guardian.

Nearly a week later she was still mourning its loss as if her own kin had been ripped away from her. She was utterly inconsolable, and after walking in on her crying quietly in the late hours of the evening far too many times, Ominis decided he couldn’t bear her grief any longer.

The following day, he devised a plan. Come evening, he approached her usual lonely spot tucked away in the Undercroft, his hands tucked surreptitiously behind his robes.

She glanced up and frowned. “Are you here to rub it in?”

He sighed. “Of course not. I’m here to see if you’re alright.”

She sniffled, eyes lighting up. “Are you really?”

He nodded, kneeling down beside her. “I feel guilty for being so inconsiderate,” he said. “It’s silly to admit but…I suppose I just felt a little left out.”

She giggled then, the last vestiges of sadness steadily dissipating from her voice. “You’re lying.”

He shook his head, looking conflicted as if he were contemplating actually coming clean about how he had felt. He let out a long-suffering groan. “Oh gods, it’s humiliating. I was jealous of a cat—or well, what I thought was a cat, at least.”

She grinned, looking amused. “Oh, I understand. It’s because I didn’t give you belly rubs as well, is that it?”

He rolled his eyes, biting back his own smile. “No, no. It was the lack of bedtime stories that really stung.”

She laughed then, and the sound warmed him to his very core, reminding him of hot tea and the warmth of a fireplace with a good book curled in his lap.

He was broken out of his admiration by a jostling in his hands. He cleared his throat, remembering that an apology wasn’t the only thing he had met her there for.

“I…have something for you.”

She looked at him expectantly and he carefully untucked a small box from behind his robes, various holes cut around the sides. As soon as he held it in his lap, the box gave another little jolt. She looked at it bewildered.

He took a deep breath as he slipped off the lid, and the first tiny meow escaped. She gasped in delight, eyes glittering with disbelief as she stared down at the little animal.

“Is that…”

He nodded. “She’s yours.”

“Oh, Ominis!”

He was nearly toppled over by the force of which she threw her arms around him, squeezing him so tightly he could barely breathe. His hands found her waist to brace himself, his thumb brushing softly under her ribs as he reciprocated her embrace.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she gushed, peppering his face with kisses. He flushed so red he was surely the same color of the little ginger kitten in his lap by the time she stopped her attack.

“Don’t…don’t mention it,” he laughed sheepishly, voice sounding terribly dazed.

The kitten gave a petulant little mewl and she finally detached herself, pulling back with a departing peck to his cheek. She picked up the cat, pressing a soft kiss under its scruffy chin and acquiescing its whines.

“Oh, aren’t you just so precious?” she cooed. “Your mummy and daddy will take such good care of you— oh yes, yes we will!”

Ominis managed to flush even more. “Oh, am I included in this now?”

“Well, of course. You rescued her, after all,” she smiled brightly, suddenly entwining her fingers with his. “We’ll care for her together.”

Ominis felt that warm sensation bloom in his chest again at the feeling of her hand in his. He stroked his thumb over her knuckles reverently, unsure of what to do with so much permission to touch her. The contact was so tender, his heart felt like it might just burst out of his chest.

As if it could sense his acceptance, the kitten suddenly jumped from its place in the crook of her arm onto Ominis’ shoulder, purring contentedly in his ear and rubbing itself against his neck.

She gasped. “Oh, look, she likes you!”

Ominis couldn’t help the smile pulling at his lips, bringing a hand to pet tentatively at the small thing. The kitten leaned into his touch, preening under his affection as he rubbed an index against its soft underbelly.

“Yes,” he said softly, squeezing her hand, still tucked snugly in his. “I suppose she does."

[hoonvrs]

ICE ICE BABY — p. sunghoon

PAIRING sunghoon × fmr

DESC. skating date with hoon gone wrong??

GENRE est. relationship, fluff

WARNING swearing

W. COUNT 1.2k

S. NOTES HAPPY BDAY TO THE LOML AND MY BOYFRIEND ILY BF MWAH

pulling some strings to rent out a whole ice rink after closing wasn't easy.

thankfully mrs. park kept most of her connections from sunghoons skating days and came to the rescue when you told her your date plans for his birthday.

safe to say sunghoon was beyond confused when you pulled him around with so much excitement it was rolling off you in waves. he could almost see it through the fabric on his eyes, “is the blindfold really necessary?”

“yes, don't want to spoil the surprise, duh,” you kept pulling him hoping he wouldn’t notice the sudden drop in temperature walking past a set of doors.

as soon as you had him standing directly in front of the entrance to the rink, you walked behind him carefully taking off the blindfold, “ta-da!”

it took him a few blinks to adjust to the harsh lighting above, looking around in confusion when he starts to realise where you’d taken him. suddenly, a pair of white skates is shoved into his hands, “how did you even get these?”

you put a finger up to his lips, shushing him with a little shake of your head, “no time for questions. put them on, let's skate!”

a lightbulb turned on in your boyfriend's head, you could see it in the way his eyes lit up with an ominous smile spreading across his face. he wasn’t oblivious to the copious amount of fan fiction his fans have written about him — maybe he’s read one or two here and there — so he wasn’t entirely new to the ‘figure skater park sunghoon takes his girlfriend on a date where he teaches her how to skate’ trope.

the idea of seeing you wobbling on the ice like a fawn learning how to walk sent butterflies to his stomach, leaving him no option but to be your knight in shining armour as he approaches and takes you by the hand as he glides you both around the room as a love song starts playing in the back.

sunghoon should really stop reading those fanfics.

he couldn’t hide his excitement. rushing to put on his skate, even having to start over lacing it a few times because he kept messing up but as soon as they were both on and secure, he made a beeline for the ice.

getting on the ice was like meeting an old friend. something warm and familiar, comforting in a way only he could feel, and he couldn’t wait to introduce his first love to his last.

except he constantly forgets that throughout your whole relationship, nothing has ever gone the fairy tale way his fans have depicted, feeling the giddiness in his belly drop dead when he turns to see you getting on the ice.

the issue wasn’t you joining him, but how you did. knitting his eyebrow watching you trying to familiarise yourself with the new footing, “why aren’t you shaking?”

”what,” you looked at your boyfriend puzzled. you should’ve prepared yourself honestly, sunghoon has a track record of saying the weirdest things at odd times.

“why are you good at this? aren’t you meant to be falling and holding onto the board for dear life?”

now it was just two idiots staring at each other at a loss, “hoon, babe, i can skate.”

a pout settles on his lips, casting his eyes down before skating off at an ungodly speed, “hey! don't leave me!”

your skating skills were average at best. i mean, you can walk and maybe speed up a little but nowhere near your athlete boyfriend who was doing rounds around the rink like a hamster on crack.

huffing under your breath you decided to just let him tire himself out a little as you tried to find your footing correctly, so you didn’t fall and break your back.

once you got to the centre you heard a pair of blades skim the layer of ice right behind you, “are you done with your little hissy fit, babygirl?”

“don’t call me that,” he scowled. he walked straight into your line of sight, remnants of the pout still there. slowly he grabs both of your hands into his, interlacing your fingers together as he starts to pull you along.

“want to tell me why you’re sulking?” 

“i’m not sulking.” sunghoons ‘cold ice prince’ image must be a big rumour that got out of hand because how could someone so cute be intimidating?

once he slows down his pace you slip out a hand, gently placing it on his cheek, “tell me.”

you can see him trying to avoid eye contact as a rosy hue starts to creep up from his neck to his face that he’d probably try to blame on the cold if you mention it knowing that both of you know he’s practically immune to the cold at this point, “i just, i kind of wanted it to be like those books where i try and teach you how to skate cause you’re shit at it but it’s okay cause i’m here but i can’t even do that.”

surprise isn’t even the word to describe what you’re feeling. how could such a small confession make your heart flutter and your cheeks warm?

“i mean, i’m no professional. guess this means we're skipping the basics and you have to teach me some tricks, live out your coaching dream through me.”

seeing his demeanour instantly change should’ve been a warning in itself.

“first lesson, triple axel! get some speed and momentum then when you’re ready quickly push off the ice and life your knees but make sure to—“

a hand covering his mouth interrupted his rambling as you look at him as if he’s suddenly grown a second head, “how about we start with some spins then get around to the jumps, hm?”

nodding his head enthusiastically he doesn’t waste any time. it takes you a minute to get the hand of spinning on literal ice without feeling like you would fall fat onto the ground, but you soon got the hang of it.

you managed to convince your boyfriend that was enough learning knowing if you tried anything else you would run your battery straight to zero before you could do what you planned for the rest of the day. now you were back hand in hand, gliding around the perimeter together.

sometimes you think that sunghoon does things without thinking, this for instance.

once you guys are both safely skating, all two feet on the ice then next thing you know you find yourself colliding with the ground, the fall softened by your boyfriend's body below you because something possessed him to believe he could pick you up mid skate like he’s seen with skating duos even though the man himself has never done it before, never mind with a amateur skater like yourself.

“oh my god,” you screamed, not being able to hold back from laughing straight into his face. sunghoon looks at you, fondness swirling in his eyes watching you struggle to catch your breath, “are you stupid? why would you do that?”

he ignores your question choosing instead to scan your face, noticing your nose has gotten red at the tip and your lips a little pale, “your lips look cold. want them to meet mine?”

“shut up,” before he could respond you pushed your lips against his, sharing soft kisses to stop whatever other cheesy pickup line he could come up with to escape.

and although the air around you nipped at your skin and could barely feel the tip of your fingers you felt warm inside.

just you, sunghoon and his first love.

perm taglist @mesopret @whoschr ​@haknom @shinsou-rii @redm4ri @lacimolela @llama-lyna @boyfhee @lazysmushi @flwoie @kocokookie @kyexvly @seongclb @dammit-jjk @flwrshee @produmads ​@teddywonss @aleiouvre @dneltrise @aleiouvre @nyxvrse @yohanabanana @whois-alexis @tinyegg @sserafimez @satsuri3su @yuemvi @chirokookie @idk-tbh777 @s00buwu @ynsvnte @isawritesss

[intuitively-her]

What’s your sex appeal?

Pile 1-(4 of swords rx, 3 of cups rx, The Chariot rx, 5 of cups, Strength, 10 of cups)

Many could see you as a “damsel in distress”. You could give off restless energy or you just work a lot. Men want to “rescue” you lol. You could act like you don’t have time for men, but this just makes them want you more. You have lots of self-confidence and you’re a go-getter. You know what you want. A lot of men wanna build a home with you. You could have long curly hair. You have a nice backside as well. Something about the way your clothes flow over your body is very sexy as well.

Pile 2-(Judgement, 7 of pentacles rx, 9 of pentacles rx, 10 of cups rx, King of pentacles rx, Ace of swords)

You may like to be in “unconventional” relationships or you just like to have multiple partners. Your life could be very chaotic. Men could see you as a “gold-digger” or materialistic.(sounds like a lil misogyny to me tho🤥) Anyways, you could be on OF or just a sex worker in general. I keep getting sugar daddy/sugar baby vibes from this pile lol, so you could have or be one. You probably attract a lot of businessmen or men in charge. Your chest area is very attractive. You could go out in nature a lot, near bodies of water. Your gaze is also very attractive.

Pile 3-(Page of wands rx, 5 of pentacles rx, Temperance rx, Page of pentacles, 3 of swords rx, 8 of cups rx)

Don’t shoot the messenger lol, but you could be seen as lazy or like you have no direction in life. You could be a little rude or you have a rbf and ppl find this sexy. Men love when you do acts of service for them. Others also feel like you’re a dependable person. You could be very lucky. Some of you like to set goals for yourself and ppl find this attractive. You easily get over heartbreak. You have many exes that still can’t get over you and cling onto your energy. Do a cord cutting meditation if you need to.

Pile 4-(Queen of swords, Page of cups, Queen of wands rx, 10 of cups rx, The Chariot, 4 of pentacles)

You could be bisexual. You’re very blunt and quick-witted. You’re also very dreamy. It’s something about your eyes. You could be very spiritual as well. You always come out on top after tough situations. You spark jealousy and insecurity in men. You could attract possessive individuals, so pls be careful. Many ppl fawn over you. Many ppl also love your backside, especially when you bend over.🤭 People could also wanna make a sex tape with you.

[mudpuddless]

I saw a couple tags with king Halt AU and I am interested now 👀 (if you need someone to blab to about this)

okay. listen. i was rereading the early years and halt rescues duncan but refuses to call him highness and duncan gets mad, the canon dialogue is pretty much just,

halt: you-

duncan: YOUR HIGHNESS

halt : i preffer to be called halt, actually

(this is the base idea: this scene is doubly funny if halt were also crown prince)

so picture halt swimming back to shore after ferris tries to kill him and deciding actually he doesn't want this idiot in charge of his country.

halt has had about four years of ranger training on top of royal battleschool at this point and ships ferris of to the countryside, names Caitlyn as his successor to the throne and convinces his father that he should aide araluen (read: the rangers who kept pritchard informed) for diplomacy reasons.

his father thinks this will be a good lesson in war craft for the crown prince and sends him on his way.

halt and Crowley meet in the inn just like in canon while pritchard, who travelled with halt to araluen, makes his way to berrigan who was his main contact and then the plot kicks off (canon slightly to the left) halt is still halt but with the full authority of the clonmel crown behind him. he just doesn't tell people. surely this won't result in any silly situations.

big change might be that daniel, who still dies, asks halt to look for his wife, who is heavily pregnant and halt goes to find her, but presented with a baby who has no living relatives he knows of he just takes baby will and disappears him to Hibernia? Caitlyn loves her nephew. halt insist that will is not his son. will is absolutely his son and no one will be convinced otherwise.

halts father/ the king of clonmel declares Will fourth in line to the throne bc what else are you supposed to do when your heir goes to fight a war for eighteen months and returns with a baby. the king isn't an idiot, halt.

i want at least one scene where an invitation is extended to the Hibernian kings for princess Cassandras first birthday and Caitlyn shows up to represent clonmel and bonds with crowley bc they have a similar sense of humour (compatible with halt). crowley refers to halt only by "Arratay" and Caitlyn only by "my brother". they think the two should meet though crowley thinks halt doesn't know how to behave in the presence of royalty.

this would be even funnier if it was cralt/craltine (geometrically accurate love triangle my beloved) bc crowley is fawning over halt and Caitlyn unknowingly sets them up by encouraging crowley to tell his friend how he feels.

at least one scene would be halt and crowley visiting Crowleys family which is big and loud. halt is immediately a favourite of Crowleys kid sister who thinks he is the funniest person who ever lived. halt is stumped by this

the rangers are also 100% the queerest group of people in the entire country. berrigan and Leander are established and not subtle about it. at least one person is only referred to by ranger, never by any pronouns. this is never remarked upon.

the problem im still trying to figure out is how I can merge canon post TEY. halt returns to clonmel bc he has to check on his family and also bc, yk, the infant he now cares for and virtually disappears from araluen. crowley and pauline are upset bc they dont know what happened. this would be even funnier if this was craltine and they just had a highly emotional moment and then the final battle happens and suddenly halt is gone and no one knows where.

if this was really cracky they would tag along as security/diplomacy detail for duncan when he is invited to halts coronation but then again, we're not catholic so I might as well. could be fun

feel free to add anything you might find funny/devastating etc.

[sircarebearalot]

keep it simmering baby

up for adoption bc while i am def gonna write this baby some day, i'd LOVE too see others do thsi too and honstely if i post it here it's bc it's up for grabs

han sooyoung and kim dokja go to couples cooking bc they both can cook

(kdj, having been in the claws of poverty, never had the ingredients, energy and time, and now he just wanst a fool proof way to learn from scracth

hsy, having lived her youth in the lap of luxury, has always ordered takeout and is now emabrarred by her completely inability to contribute in the kitchen)

and they want to be a fucntionng adult for their partners, yoo 'tsundere star chef' joonghyuk and yoo 'perfect human being' sangah

they decide to sign up for a couples class bc that's less embarassing than just straight up admitting they don't know how and there aren't really classes for hopeless adults and also bc it's cheaper and they are both hopeless cheapskates

so yes, consider they are spending money and time together in a place where their partners aren't aware... does that look good?

lucky for them!! their partners are logical enough to know that kdj and hsy would never cheat on them (BC THEY ARE SUCH SIMPS) nevermind with eachother, unfortaunaltey, kdj and hsy's rep is bad enough for yoo joonghuk and yoo sangah to think that they have found themselves into trouble with .... wait for it.... THE LOCAL MAFIA!!!

so, see in this episode where kim dokja and best friend, han sooyoung go to a couple cooking class and (grudungly and painstakingly) pretend to be in love while all the attendeant, much older couples, fawn over them --- and one younger couple eye them mistruftully bc they think that kdj and hsy are cheating on therui couples bc (why the hell not) kim com are alll low level famous, (hsy is an author, kdj is an editor---whcih no one cares about bc he is also yjk's boo) and the young couple are very salty about it but OFC THEY WON'T POST ABOUT IT BC THAT'S AGAISNT THE SACRED RULE OF COUPLES COOKING BUT LOOK, LOOK??? HOW COULD KDJ RUTHLESSLY BREAK YJK'S HEART??? AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SIMPING FAITHFULNES OF HSY???

anyways, that is happening there in that studio, while on the other side of town, yoo joonghyuk and yoo sangah have enlisted kimcom to take down the fearsome mafia to save the two fool that aren't even in trouble.

naturally this epsiode will feature hilarious cutawar moments such as thsi one...

["Do you think Sangah is thinking of me right now?"

"I'm sure she is cutting down the city wondering where you are at," Kim Dokja replies drolly, as he poked mistrustfully at a perfectly fine tomato.

On the other side of town, Yoo Sangah smiles angelically at a mob boss, who was on his knees and holding his right pec protectively. "You will answer my questions, won't you? Where is Han Sooyoung and Kim Dokja?"

"Who?" the mob boss demands.

Yoo Sangah's smile tightens and she nods at Yoo Joonghyuk, who's eyes are gleaming with a slightly demonic light. He advances once again and the mob boss' pleas of ignorance are ignored.]

and ofc

["I don't even know if Joonghyuk will eat my food," Kim Dokja sulked, looking moodily after the instructer that had failed at hiding a grimace at Kim Dokja's liberal use of spice. "He only eats his own cooking anyways."

"Don't you want to feed those brats like the responsible ajjussi they think you are?"

"You have a point," he sighs. "I hope they have finishied their homework."

Not too far away, Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung are arguining on how they will punish the criminals for taking Kim Dokja away (the adulst of kim com failed to remeber how the kids have access to the baby monitors), kimcom for leaving them out of the rescuing ('that jerkface is going to pay for keeping me from rescuing hyung!!"), and each other for allowing such a tragedy to take place. All while a fierce baby Biyoo chimes on with an ocassionaly 'Baat!']

so, stay tuned for the misadventures of silly gooses and silly billies alike!!

[b4tracha]

Getting Closer to SKZ

(Sorry I disappeared,, I have been busy with uni..)

Bang Chan: Because he is a very busy person, he honestly forgot that he gave you his number until randomly he got a message asking if you wanted to hang out. He was clueless until he realized you were the hot guy from that group hangout. He almost immediately said yes, but calmed down once he realized how insane he would probably look to him. Instead, he calmly said yes, and the very next day after a recording session, he was going to go eat with you.

Getting closer was easier than he thought it would be honestly. Chan can be very shy when it comes to very attractive men, so the fact you wanted to interact with him was mindblowing. You could make the stupidest joke in the world and Chan would giggle like a child, ears hot and red. Your smile, charm, demeanor and just attitude had the man hooked. 

Now you guys were hanging out at least multiple times a week. Because Chan was a very busy guy, that usually meant you were in the JYPE building in his mini studio watching him work in awe and giving comments while he got bashful and tried to hide. He tried to keep you away from the other members, but the other members of 3racha were bound to meet you. Now you were the subject of Chan teasing. He couldn’t go outside the dorm without Jisung or Changbin going, “Going out with Y/N again~?” He hated to admit that they were actually right most of the time.

Lee Know: The second he was home with Dori after the check, he took a selfie with each individual of his cats. He talked about them alot to you while at the vet and he wanted to show them off to you(while also showing his visuals off as well.) He giggled when you fawned over Soonie and Doongi as you haven’t met them. That was then the start of the “play dates.”

The kitten you had rescued and then decided adopt and take care of was obviously too young and small for her to be around the other three, but that didn’t stop Minho from begging you to come over with her, so he could cuddle her while watching you play with his babies. He was very persuasive when he was whiney, but you didn’t mind all that much.

He kept you hidden from the members and wouldn’t mention you to the other members, not for any particular reason. He just wanted you to himself, much like a cat. Once he was on break, he would beg for you to come to his house in Gimpo to bring his baby (you or the kitten, didn’t matter the answer.)

Changbin: You weren’t exactly a regular there as he found out when he went the next day and you both ended up talking. You just had a bad muscle strain and required weeks of physical therapy to build it back up properly. He didn’t mind honestly. He actually enjoyed helping you in your workouts and even gave tips so it wouldn’t happen again.

After workouts, you guys eventually started to eat together afterwards and exchanged contacts. You could rip the loudest laugh out of him honestly. Every couple minutes, the restaurant would be a decent volume and then you’d hear Changbin’s laugh rip from the corner of the room. At some point the owners even threatened to kick you guys out before you guys just left and walked for a bit until it was time to part ways. If Stay saw a workout video or two from a new angle, it was probably from you. Not that they would need to know..

Hyunjin: Hyunjin is an artist. That meant sometimes he had try new things. Meeting you gave him just the right amount of motivation to keep doing down the art shop and buying new things. You must think he was going broke with the way he kept going in and out and at a chance of getting a glance of seeing you. 

Eventually, he got the courage to ask to draw you. It came out of nowhere for you, because he doesn’t say that much to you, but he does tend to stare but it did start to make sense now. Nonetheless, you did agree and went to a local coffee chop and he started to sketch you doing random things like a boost of sudden energy to make anything under the sun. Once he was done, you both started to talk about art and your favorite styles and mediums and artists and anything you could find. 

Hyunjin felt like it was easy to talk to you. He felt like it was easy to look at you. He would find himself doodling you. He didn’t mind that much as sometimes he would just change a few things and post it on Instagram or Bubble for Stay. Maybe you were easy to write about too..

Han: When you offered him ice cream, at first he thought a little small cone or something. No, you asked him what flavor he wanted and got him the biggest cup you can get for it. When Jisung went to say something, you just admitted wanted to talk to him more. Que brain circuit. No, that’s okay.

Han enjoys talking to you alot. You both ended up going to the park together more often, which was kind of a shock for the home body that his dorm mates usually knew. You guys would walk the trail, or lay in the grass and talk, or even feed the fish or ducks in the pond whenever you guys could. It was relaxing being with you and letting go for once. 

 One day, he brought you back to the dorm to show you a song he made and he never felt more nervous in his life. At first, your face was unreadable but once it was done there was a big goofy smile on your face that just made his heart hammer twice as much. 

Felix: Before his manager could pull him away, you ended up slipping your number in his pocket. He didn’t realize at first, so he was bummed that he could never talk to the hot guy that was flirting with him again. That was until the wind blew a little too hard and he dug his hands in his pockets, finding the paper. He was shocked, yet impressed. As soon as he got privacy, he added you in his contacts and spammed you. 

Neither lived in the country that the event was being hosted at and you didn’t live in South Korea, so it would be hard to meet in person. However, that didn’t mean anything to him. He loved texting you. If you thought his messages on bubble were excessive, his messages with you were even more extreme. Anything he did in his day would be accompanied with a selfie and a message. And like you were when you first met, you called him pretty and told him about your own busy day. It wasn’t perfect like he wanted it, but he enjoyed talking to you. If someone asked who his last contact was? Well, he would have to plead the fifth.

Seungmin: Because of you, the company put a restriction on how much coffee Seungmin could drink. He would come in every day before any lessons or practices starts and if your shift hasn’t ended, would come back. He enjoyed going to that little shop so much that he even had your work scheduled memorized so he didn’t come when you weren’t there.

Eventually, the conversations started outside the coffee shop (because of the restriction.) He wasn’t that big of a texter, but he did love checking up on you during dance practice or vocal lessons breaks. Even at work, you answered him quick. If a member asked who had him smiling so big, he snap with some stupid snarky comment everyone knows he doesn’t mean. He wanted to keep you his little secret just for a little longer. Even Jeongin, who goes with him everywhere, doesn’t know about you just yet. 

I.N: The next time he saw you he wasn’t having a shopping spree. He honestly almost forgot about you. Being an idol, it was hard to constantly keep up with people. You tapped him on the shoulder and spoke to him casually like that was something normal to do. He was worried it was a fan, but it was just you. The store was having a slow day, so he just decided to stay there. You talked about fashion, aesthetics, and even the tips you said you wanted.

But after a while, your boss told you off about talking to customers while on the job, so you had to stop. Jeongin got annoyed about it, but you didn’t care that much. As much as you hated your boss, he wasn’t around that often and you liked working there and people-watching and seeing all the visions people had with clothes. You both decided to exchange numbers and send different things like clothes and shoes or even stupid posts you found funny. If you wanted to complain about your bosses, you’d go to each other and give each other advice as best as possible. The two of you were definitely two peas in a pod. 

[sharpedgedfool]

Is the baby deer you have Winter Maria holding the same one that Shadow rides? Or at least, is that part of *why* he likes white deer/stags? 👁

Yep! They rescue the fawn together, and it gets injured when Maria is killed so one of Shadow's first acts is to heal it, but he accidentally makes it immortal so now they go everywhere together.

[onlypaws]

Every time a dog person explains why he likes dogs over cats, he just explains a cat.

Seriously though, if you ask a person why they like a dog they always explain things dogs don't like or don't do but cats do naturally.

"I want a animal that snuggles and loves me!"

If my cat does not get his nightly snuggle he dies inside. If he's not around you 24/7 he just hides under the bed. All the cats I grew up with thrived off of pets and love and the one who didn't was a weirdo barn cat who absolutely did but just wanted to be pet in places where he didn't have scars/ trauma from his past life.

You look at dogs and even the most friendly ones don't like being fawned over. They don't like their heads pet (cats love that, that's how they spread their scent). They don't like being hugged (cats live for that). They don't like being manhandled (cats love being held upside down and dangled and messed with ((gently of course))).

Like every time they bring this up they will mention their dog and it is whale eyeing, panting, appeasement smiling and visibly very very uncomfortable.

"I don't want a animal that pees everywhere."

Literally clean their cat boxes daily and it stops. If you can't or your cat is like Taz and demands an every 12-hour schedule, affirm pay an automatic catbox like I did. Problem disappears. I would also like to point out, if you aren't at your dog's beck and call to let them out, they pee and poo everywhere! I had many dogs over my life and like it was the single most problematic part of them (Aside from the eating the drywall). You had to let them out CONSTANTLY or there was a biohazard in the foyer.

"I want an animal that won't eat me when I am dead."

Neither will eat you unless you are dead for days and they are starving, and statistically speaking, your dog is much more likely to eat you than your cat. Have you ever seen a cat after someone they love dies? They nearly go cationic, they are far more likely to starve to death trying to wake you up, but also lets be real, if you are dying alone and going unnoticed to the point that you're eaten... baby in the nicest way possible you probably shouldn't have pets. You have bigger problems.

"I want an animal I can do anything to without being bit"

Then get a fish. You can't "do anything to your dog without being bit". Often people train the vocal warning signs out of dogs while refusing to learn any sort of doggish body language. You CAN'T do anything to your dog, you may not have been bit yet, but you will be if you have this mentality. This is the reason why so many small breed dogs bite and are violent, not because they are by nature, but because a considerable amount of dog owners think they can and should do whatever they like without repercussions and it is easier to ignore and belittle a animal when it is small.

But also if you're looking at tolerance to bullshit cats are where it's at. My cats have their claws, and they don't like being picked up, none the less if I decide to annoy them and pick them up and give them belly kisses and shove my face in theirs they just fix me with a resigned "god you're stupid" look. If I did that to my non-traumatized dog he would lose his mind. If I did it to my rescue, I'd lose my nose, and it would be completely on me.

Tolerance for handling depends on size, breed, animal, temperament, and treatment and I hate to break it to you, dogs have a significantly lower tolerance for it than cats. A lot of you abuse your dogs through your negligence to learn their behaviour. Literally just watch "It's me or the dog" and 99% of the time it's "leave him alone, stop stressing him tf out, you don't need your whole body on him all the waking day."

"I want an animal I can train"

You clearly have never had a cat. They are incredibly smart and comparing training my cats to training my lab is night and day. Dude is 10 years old and still cycles through everything before he gets to "sit" (he does it on purpose looking for more treats.) You can train cats to do literally everything a dog can do. I mean I've never taken my cats hunting or anything but watch them with a mouse and I figure they'd do well. The thing is if you never try to do something, you can't say it's impossible. I've never tried meth, yet I'm sure it still exists.

I mean I could go on but it's every time they explain why they prefer dogs, it's just a cat in a different form.

[avoxrising]

Isla - Part 2

(Part 1) (Part 3)

The first few days in District 13 were the hardest of Finnick’s life. He would gladly go into the arena all over again if it meant you and Isla were safe.

Finnick didn’t mean to push everyone away, but he did. Annie tried to help with Isla but Finnick wouldn’t let his daughter out of his sight in fear of losing her. He would shower with the curtain open and Isla resting in her bassinet on the bathroom floor. He’d bring her to his therapy sessions and even to the training room.

It had been a week since Finnick arrived in District 13 and he had barely slept. Isla was super fussy and it was hard to get her to eat anything. District 13 had very little baby formula available as single fathers in the district were practically unheard of.

Finnick’s therapist, Dr. Aurelius, ended up forcing him to attend a support group of new parents in District 13. He was the only dad there as the rest of the fathers of newborns were either working or deceased, as was the case with two of the mothers rescued from District 12.

The mothers fawned over Finnick and Isla, something he did not enjoy. He hated attention, especially from women who weren’t you. One of the women, however, quickly developed a friendship with him.

Eve and Herd were new parents from District 13. Herd worked as a maintenance worker so he was usually gone all day, leaving Eve to take care of their daughter, Kara. Kara was three months old and had beautiful brown hair, almost the same color as yours.

Eve pitied Finnick’s situation. Not only was he taking care of his month and a half year old daughter by himself, but he was grieving your absence and struggling to take care of himself. Finnick didn’t know why he trusted Eve with Isla, but he did.

Isla was able to nurse on Eve, making her a lot less fussy. Eve taught Finnick how to tie a wrap around him so he could carry Isla hands free. Gradually over time, Finnick felt himself getting the hang of being a single dad.

The residents of District 13 watched as Finnick would walk around the halls with Isla in his arms, pointing things out to her like the signs on the walls or the smells that wafted in the air. Although she was too little to understand, Finnick wanted to teach her about all the good things in the world.

Finnick healed to the point where he would let Prim watch Isla while he went to his appointments. Mrs. Everdeen was able to perform Isla’s 2 month checkup and she’s as healthy as possible. Annie comes around to see him and Isla occasionally, but she’s cautious not to disturb him too often. She reminds him too much of District 4 and everyone he’s lost.

When footage of Peeta was broadcasted throughout the cafeteria, Finnick was stunned. Was it possible that you were still alive? He raced up to command to see if anyone had any answers.

Unfortunately, nobody knew if you were alive. Beetee suspects that they’re keeping Peeta alive as leverage over Katniss so it’s quite possible that you are alive too. President Coin won’t send a rescue mission just yet, so all Finnick can do is wait and hope for you to come back home.

-

AN: Do y’all want a part 3?

[justatalkingface]

The 'Great' MHA Read Along, Part Two (Chapters 5-7): The Aizawa-ing.

*checks last post, gets more than one like*

*blinks*

Huh. Well. OK then. Let's do another one, I guess.

And, literally the first panel? Bakugou. Wow, Bakugou is so great, so strong...

Bakugou scored zero rescue points. Zero. He was the only one, as far as we know, to get zero points and still pass... and that doesn't concern you at all? Considering most people didn't almost die like Izuku and Ochako, then the bar for 'rescue points' honestly must have been in the ground, like helping someone when they fell or something. And here, in UA, an elite school for Heroes, whose job is to save people, Bakugou scored zero rescue points. Like, I don't expect him to not get in over this, but it'd be nice if, instead of everyone fawning over him, from literally page one, someone could go, 'Hey, I don't like the looks of that'.

Then we transition to Izuku and All Might, and I guess that answers the question of, 'Why couldn't All Might help Izuku get in?': because he knew Izuku wouldn't want that.

I. I'm actually not sure of that? He wouldn't want attention, at least. But whatever, ultimately, the problem I have with that is All Might literally just dropped him in the exam with absolutely zero Quirk experience when, from all accounts, he could helped him get in somehow, Mr. Number One Hero, but....

Alright, bear with me a second. In theory, letting him earn his way is fine, but in practice, there's no fucking way Izuku should have passed if he didn't accidently crack the morality cheat for this exam, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize this. At the same time, though, it's clear he doesn't deserve to be recommended student, yet, because again, he's a total noob, and I doubt he'd pass that exam, either, since it's just a giant race.

I think, ultimately, the problem here is Izuku is in a position where there's no reasonable way for him to pass, period. And I can't really blame anyone other than Hori, since, you know, author, and it goes back to what I said last time about he just set up Izuku to struggle for struggling's sake. And the thing is, he could still have had a hard time at at exam, but not have been so damn helpless about it; I mean, in all honesty the only reason Uraraka survived (as far as we can tell those robots are not safety proofed) is that he just so happened to have his Baby's First Quirk moment at that very moment, and since his Quirk is on the level of a fucking god he accidentallyed a robot that could step on a fucking Gundam. If it wasn't for protagonist level plot armor, in other words, Ochako should be dead, which... is a realization. Izuku has no way to fight the robots, or win the race, other then exploding himself, and this setup, for someone who is theoretically supported by the most powerful and influential man in the country, who is literally on the staff, doesn't really make sense. It'd be one thing if was literally nobody, but he's not: he's All Might's apprentice and heir. He is the exact opposite of nobody, but the story never really treats his situation like that; it be easy enough for them to swing it as him being Heroic royalty if All Might and Izuku were more pretentious (you could debate about the destabilizing effect of that, but all things considered All Might retiring and/or having an heir before everything went to shit actually could have been helpful, even if it made Izuku's life infinitely more complicated).

I just don't like that whole situation, basiclly, both with Izuku's capabilities and how hands off All Might suddenly is when he was helping him train daily literally to the actual day of the exam.

And then All Might admits he saw the problem of Izuku's control coming and did... nothing about that. Is. Is the reason All Might is inside OFA because it took his entire personality on the way out? A few chapters ago he was worried about Izuku exercising too hard, and now he's all, 'It's fine', with this apocalyptically powerful Quirk? And, now that it's established that there is a problem with his control, why isn't he trying to help with that problem? Like... at all?

See, this is what I was talking about last time: Arc One All Might is this committed, focused trainer who is expertly pushing Izuku's body just a hair from his absolutely limits on the daily and devotes large portions of his time to helping him improve. Arc Two All Might is just letting him blow up his arms for no apparent reason, while barely ever having time for the child with the legacy of his teacher and like, the primeval spirit of heroics inside him.

And, to top it off, there's the knowledge that he's never going to recover from this change; it only get worse from this point on.

Good bye, Competent Might. I'll miss you.

...And, here's Bakugou. And, with peerless Bakugou Logic (TM), even though he's in the best heroic school period, he's still treating his classmates as extras. Literally.

Pause here; random tangent time.

You know, early Bakugou's story has the shape of a 'big fish in a little pond' story, but have you realized his Quirk is perfect for that as well?

So, the thing is Explosion is a good Quirk, but it's just that: good. It's better than... seventy, eighty percent of Quirks we see, than most of his classmates. Then there's presumably another ten percent of equal Quirks, somewhere....

And then that last ten percent make Explosion look like kid shit. It's hard to remember with how chronically underused it is, but Momo's Quirk is terrifying with some work. I would bet that there's a chemical that neutralizes nitro she could pull out, which would neatly defang Bakugou, for example. Or, a blast of water, to get rid of his sweat, so there's nothing for him to blow up. Or, his actual, canon weakness, cold; fire extinguishers, anyone?

And that's not even mentioning Shoto. And this isn't later story Shoto, who is a side character in his own story, oh no, this is Earlyroki, who can solo the entire class with minimal effort on his part (except Izuku, but that's the starting point of their relationship, Shoto acknowledge him as a potential threat). This is Shoto before the nerfs rolled in.

The set up for the 'small pond' shit is honestly perfect, but Hori just never commits to it. Worse yet, to get around the limits he put in on Bakugou's Quirk, he just... starts breaking his own rules, all the way back with the Sports Festival (coming... at some point!), and it's super disappointing when you realize how great this could have been for realigning Bakugou's ego.

...Alright. Got off track there. Let's stop talking about Bakugou, and start talking about Iida! Iida who apologizes, and acknowledges Izuku! Iida who calls out Bakugou on his shit! Far more wholesome.

And then Uraraka shows up, and I'm pretty sure this is the end of his, 'OMG a girl I literally can't talk' phase, but again, nice to see someone acknowledge Izuku's existence and not hate him...

Ah, Bakugou flashback. I don't hate this, for once, because while it's Bakugou's flashback, it's about Izuku, and his growth, and him standing up for himself, even a little bit. Self affirmation is always nice to see...

And there's a homeless man who broke in! How talented. Wait, that's not a homeless man, that's just an adult who doesn't give a shit about personal hygiene!

(If you're new here, welcome to my blog. As you may have realized, I am not an Aizawa stan.)

(And yes, Bakugou, you tell that ball to die. How dare it be round!)

Welcome, everyone to Eraserhead Land, a world where you don't need to know things like where the consoler is, because mental health for law enforcement personal armed with dangerous superpowers is for losers! Welcome ceremony? Feeling accomplishment about getting into a top school? Possibly learning important things when everyone is gathered in one place? Naaah. If you're not stressed, miserable, and on edge, you're not doing it right!

To those unfamiliar with my posts, you may think I'm joking. I'm not.

Literally, the whole, 'Last place gets expelled bit'? Is because the kids were excited. All Might confirms that, yes, Aizawa absolutely would have kicked someone out.

Dadzawa Fans: 'Ah yes, the "Aizawa Critical" theory. The idea that Dadzawa is false and that the man in question is in fact deeply flawed and acts in incredibly traumatizing and Quirkist ways that should have massive negative repercussions on everyone he has ever taught. We have dismissed this claim.'

Me, deadass watching Aizawa prepare to kick someone out of school because some kids were happy: *blinks in visible confusion*

...This is a man in deep need of therapy. Which probably explains his views on guidance counselors.

Oh, and then Izuku neatly sums up my problem with how his life goes, that can basiclly be applied at any given moment : "My (insert normal thing here) has turned into a huge ordeal!"

Anyways, time for a bunch of tests that, by design, Eraserhead could never pass. And of course, we can't go five minutes (or five seconds, sometimes), without yet another demonstration of how unreasonable Bakugou is, what with him blasting Izuku in the race, which is actual sabotage.

Aizawa... sees no problem with this, apparently. Give it a couple of years, and we'll see an enterprising class take that to its logical conclusion, and murder and/or maim one or more of their fellow classmates for the win!

And now we have a flashback where, surprisingly (? I'm not actually sure if that should be surprising at this point) All Might actually tried to advise Izuku... by basiclly telling him to dial it back, but otherwise to figure it out himself.

You.... You had this Quirk. This exact Quirk. Why is your advice so useless?

Then we have a single panel of the long jump where I half think Bakugou ended up sabotaging Izuku again; why are these kids doing all these at the same time, again?

And then it comes out: Aizawa had already singled out Izuku, even before class, for him passing the exam at all, which didn't 'make sense'.

(With how the exam was set up, Izuku could have passed with minimal stress on his part if he just helped people instead of trying to deal with the robots all. Unironically, I don't think you actually need to interact with the robots at all, in the exam about fighting the robots. This is, as far as I can tell, a valid strategy, and it's not Izuku's fault that it rewards people for helping, bloody fuck.)

I'd bet this entire thing was just because of Izuku, so he could bump him out with minimal justification on his part. He flat out says he doesn't like All Might (an 'insufferable' hero) and compares Izuku to him directly. Like, god this is so damn targeted, and we have All Might watching, internally monologuing about how Eraserhead hates him and he's helpless to protect Izuku...

...Some the fuck how. The Number One Hero is helpless to protect his heir from a clearly biased attempt to get rid of him, when the principal is in the know about important he is. And he seems remarkably fine with his student's seemingly impediment expulsion.

'I can't help him! I'm just going to stand here watching from behind a corner instead of making sure Nezu knows how ABSOLUTELY LIVID I'll be if he gets expelled, or preparing to leverage my immense fame and influence to help, or maybe threatening Eraserhead if he takes his dislike of me out on an innocent student! Nope, no way I can contribute here, oh well, sorry for being such a waste of space Izuku, you're on your own.'

...What the fuck is this? This doesn't make sense! I bought into the narrative of this the first time I read it but now that I've stopped to think about it for five seconds this entire arc is collapsing in on itself.

Why did you make Izuku's mentor the most powerful person on the planet, with the ability to command legions of devoted fans, who single handedly changed how an entire country looks at heroes, if you were going to make him so fucking helpless?!

And then, the cherry on top of all of this is Izuku 'grows' by only breaking his finger, and this fills Aizawa with apparent delight.

Bloody hell. Here, let me summarize my impression of Aizawa after reading this arc again:

"The longer Eraserhead is observed, the more terrible a teacher he becomes."

And now we reach the next chapter, where Bakugou promptly attacks Izuku for the crime of having a Quirk, and Aizawa stops him before... whining. About dry eye.

Mr. "I expel entire classes" yet again sees no problem with students fighting each other, apparently, which is more evidence for my Bloody Mist style Class 1-A theory; we already have discount Kakashi, whose entire character is basiclly badly copied copy ninja characterization, so we might as well get young!Zabuza or something as well.

Oh, I almost forgot Aizawa's first lesson to his students: you can never trust anything I say, ever, because I can, and will, lie to you, for no reason at all, at any moment at all, even when what you think are real-life consequences are on the line, and if you fall for it that's your mistake for falling for a 'logical ruse'.

Talk about a trust building exercise, huh? Clearly, this is Best Father Figure.

Meanwhile, can I mention how nonsensical All Might teaching when he has a time limit is? Why the hell is he wasting his waning moments of power, which could be used for so many more important things than standing there while the students gawk at him? Teach as Skele-Might, or watch the security cameras or something.

...Huh. My translation doesn't have 'Dekiru' in it, even though we had Ochaka accidently call Izuku Deku. Was that later or did whoever did this just not put it in...?

Welp. This was immensely frustrating. Good thing the next arc isn't going to have anything at all concerning, SOD breaking, or horrible in it, right?

[martina-electro]

i can't sleep (it's because i drank 5 cups of coffee earlier) so i am subjecting the rain code fandom to. something i just do sometimes when i'm bored.

amaterasu corporation as birds

swank

chukar partridge

i don't have anything to say about this one. it's just him

seth

western screech owl

something about him just screams owl to me. did you know baby owls are topheavy so when they sleep they just kind of lay flat on the ground on their face and they look really pathetic. i think that's why

guillaume

purple-backed thornbill

her mystery phantom is a fairy so some kind of hummingbird felt fitting for her. she excudes tiny rage

dominic

shoebill

okay so i took one look at dominic in ch3 and immediately knew what bird he would be

yomi

red crested cardinal

(clenches my fist) 1:1 likeness honestly. also really funny that he's the 2nd smallest bird in the peacekeepers. just like canon

martina

swallow tailed kite

i looked through every species of martin and swallow and none of them fit the vibe. so i went with the next best choice (also my 2nd favorite bird. they're so pretty)

zilch

harris's hawk

please just take a moment to imagine bird zilch, 5x bird yomi's size, fawning over him with puppylike adoration (my phone is taken away from me for posting bird yaoi)

makoto

i'm sorry. cockatoo

my personal experience with a cockatoo was a rescue who screamed at me like a toddler nonstop for 30 minutes until i left my friend's house. he stopped once i left i did not pass his vibe check. very makotocore

[faetaiity]

What would the guy's reaction be when s/o soft shell mutant reader somehow gets injured on their shell? A enemy kidnapped them and they faught back, BUT they were outnumbered leading to them having a big scratch on their back and it hurts so much. When the guy's get to the enemy base they'd see a collapsed reader on the floor in the middle of hundreds of unconscious bodies (they don't really kill people so yeah)

WAASYDJHJKFDSH SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THIS, THERE'S LIKE 11 OF Y'ALL ASKING STUFF AND I'M RUNNING OFF OF DUMB BITCH JUICE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They begin to overthink as soon as they see you aren't there; Donnie hasn't made you a Protective shell yet, it was high on his list, but he wanted to make it a lot stronger than his as you have no battle experience

The other three brothers aren't as scared as Donnie is at first, as they didn't account for your soft shell

Similar to another post I made about you getting kidnapped, Donnie finds his tracking device and guns it back to the Turtle Tank with his brothers not far behind

Finding your Approximate location was easy, they ran into the building where the tracker said you were

There was six rival Clansmen guarding the front, but even 10 wouldn't be enough as they were Furious, it wasn't like them to kill their enemies quickly but out of sheer panic that's exactly what they did

They started searching the floors Until Raph shouted for them to come up to the 2nd floor

There was three rival clansmen all around you knocked out, you looked up at them with fear

There was a giant gash on your softshell, blood oozing out, you had several bruises on your knees, face, arms and hands

Donnie instantly got over to you yelling about how you could've been killed, as if you had a choice in the kidnapping

Leo picked you up and made a portal to the turtle tank "C'mon Hermanos, they've been through some shit today and those wounds are gonna get infected soon" he stated blankly, two of his three brothers grumbling.

Mikey on the other hand, Walked over to the Three knocked out Rival clansmen and pulled out a long, thick chain plus a padlock

Wrapping it around them and locking it tightly before examining the room

"You four go ahead, I'll have some fun with them~" he cheerfully said, but even a fool could hear the sadistic undertone.

Leo carried you off into the portal, Raph followed after, Donnie was about to cross the portal before Mikey called (more like yelled) out to him

"Oi, Smartass, I need your help so I don't burn my scales off" Donnie sighed before walking over to his brother

"Leo, Close the portal, We'll be out in a minute" Donnie blankly said, as Leo nodded and closed the portal

Raph was babying you to the best of his ability, Fawning and cooing over you being strong enough to knock them out, It felt dehumanizing but more so in a way of a parent condescendingly praising their child as if they would be in trouble if they weren't as lucky, but this side of Raph was basically non-existent up until now to you

Leo was irritated and mockingly said "Awhhh how sweeeeeet, I might just puke from how toothrottingly cute this is~~" which gained a glare from Raph "Fuck off Leo, We all know behind that front you're shitting bricks"

Leo scoffed before suddenly Donnie and Mikey opened the door to the Tank and climbed in "Done with your Freaks night out?" Leo grinned, earning a middle finger from Donnie

They started the Tank, seconds later, a giant explosion erupted from the Building you were rescued from.

"WHAT THE FUCK DONNIE? MIKEY?"