#bc I’m almost done book of night and like yes I have found myself reading the book in one day but

[exbeaut]

Cruel prince series?? Anyone??

[yourmcu]

Emotional Support Mode

Pairings: Tony Stark x daughter!reader

Summary:

in which the reader is the loner, antisocial daughter of Tony Stark and the other Avengers including her father never acknowledge her presence (they thought some sort of interaction made you uncomfortable) so she becomes friends with Friday instead - Tony probs finds out and it’s gonna be all cute n fluffie once he realizes -

Word count: 2,243

a/n: hi just wanted to write fluffy tony :)) also I used they/them for friday’s pronouns

Warnings: angst n fluff, friday’s a bit more advanced (not like they aren’t already but) bc they could almost act like a literal human here.

read it on ao3!

You arrive back at the Avengers facility, shoulders slumped and just tired in general since you have a lot of homework and projects to do from school, most of them due by the end of the week. You also have exams later in the week.

“Hey, Fri,” you huff as you make your way to the elevator.

“Welcome home, Y/N. Where do you want to go?”

Yes, you're very close with the A.I that they started calling you by your first name. “To my room - and uh, will you remind me to read two chapters in my history book after I’m done with all my homework? I also have this project, I just need some measurements later, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure thing.”

“Thank you.”

It’s going to be a long night, you sigh heavily just thinking about it. Now you’re probably wondering, ‘you live with the Avengers! Why don’t you ask Tony and Bruce for help? Maybe Steve and Bucky for your History test?’

Yeah, well... you barely talk to any real person you live with. Maybe it’s you, you always thought you're making the team uncomfortable. You don’t even talk to your own father often which is kind of depressing on your part.

You love them, they’re like your extended family, but it just isn’t working out. Maybe they just don’t like you. Up to this day you still wonder why Tony took you in when you were just a baby (you were a mistake from one of his one night stands) - he had the choice not to.

“I’m assuming you zoned out again. You have arrived to your room five minutes ago.” Friday announces.

“Y-yeah sorry,” you shuffle out of the elevator and swiftly head to your bedroom, closing the door behind you.

“I also asked if I should inform Mr. Stark that you have arrived home.”

“No, no thanks. He’s busy and... probably wouldn’t care anyway,” You mutter the last part as you pile the books you need on your desk. “Can you put my study playlist on, please?”

----

“What time is it, Friday?”

“7PM. I was about to remind you to take a break.”

You get up from your chair and stretch, halfway through the last of your homework which is a two page essay. “You’re too kind, thanks pal,” when you walk out your room to head to the kitchen and grab a snack, the lounge is empty, kitchen empty,

“The team’s on a mission? I thought they had the whole week off,” you say before gulping down a water bottle.

“I checked the security footage: they left about an hour ago. Captain Rogers was talking about getting dinner.”

You put the bottle down. “Oh,” you try to mask your disappointment. This isn’t your first time being alone, they always left you here when they had a mission of course but... well, it’s not like they want you around them. “I’ll - I’ll just make myself something later, then. Not a big deal. I have to study anyway.”

Another hour later, the Avengers are back. They're all conversing happily as they pile in the lounge. Peter's rambling about upgrades for the Spiderman suit while Tony's typing away in his phone, nodding at everything he says. Everyone else is arguing about the TV channels and talking about the new restaurant they ate at.

Rhodey shifts, looking around. “Why do I feel like we forgot something?”

Natasha looks at him, waiting for him to go on.

“I assure you, I brought Mjolnir with me this time.” Thor butts in.

“No not that, what time does Y/N get home from school?” No one answers. It’s not like any of them know. It's natural that Rhodey would be worried about his goddaughter (even if they rarely talk). He turns his head to his best friend who’s now walking away with Peter, an arm around his shoulder. “Tony, where’s Y/N?”

He doesn’t hear since he has his full attention on his protégé.

“I’ll start making this tomorrow, I guess. I still have to buy materials.” You mumble to yourself, but you hope Friday's listening to everything you say just to make you feel less lonely. You swipe the hologram of the blueprint away and place the thick books in front of you.

“I would like to recommend a suitable study plan.” they state.

You rub your eyes, sighing, “I’m already halfway, I would’ve considered it earlier though.”

“This is only a recommendation, feel free to ignore it.”

You push yourself away from the desk and mutter a “go on,”, fiddling with your pen.

“Asking Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes would give you more details for your History examination, since the pair were originally from that time period. The same goes for Mr. Banner for your Science examination, I believe he has seven Ph.D’s, you may also approach Vision for the same topic. Mr. Stark has all the necessary materials for your project in his lab. Would you like me to-”

If only it were that easy. It should be easy, the thought alone makes you really nervous. “No, I - I appreciate the recommendation, Friday, but - I think I can do this on my own.”

“But you’re tired and it is almost midnight. I would help you myself but you specifically told me not to.”

They’re not wrong. Your eyes are starting to droop and you barely understand anything you're reading. You're also fighting back tears - why is talking to your family so hard?

“I can sense sadness. Would you like me to activate emotional support mode?”

“Yeah, okay. That sounds great right about now.”

----

“Crap. Guess we lost track of time again, kid,” Tony wipes his hands with a rag while he looks at the time on his computer. “You better get home. I’ll send May a text for keeping you this late.”

“Okay, thank you Mr. Stark. I’m just gonna use my suit-”

“No. Happy will drive you.”

Peter knew better than to argue and insist so he just nods and smiles sheepishly. A minute later Happy came ‘round to take him home.

Tony turns back around. “Friday, make a new project for me please, I’m adding minor upgrades to the Spiderman suit.”

“Not now, boss.”

Oh. He did not expect that. “Excuse me?”

“Y/N is currently opening up. I would like to give her my full, undivided attention. Please come back after fifteen minutes or so.”

Tony doesn’t exactly know how to feel about that. He never sees her outside her room anymore that he kinda forgot she existed tonight - oh fuck, they didn’t bring her to dinner with them.

“Well,” he exhales. “What is she saying?”

“That would be an invasion of privacy.”

“I’m her father-”

“Are you, sir?” Friday’s clever remark makes him stop abruptly.

It’s pretty clear that he’s been a shit father. Not only does he ignore you all the time but he treats Peter way better than his own flesh and blood. The Avengers on the other hand, they were nice people, but just didn’t understand so they try their best to get out of your way.

You were afraid of rejection, afraid to interact, because you had no idea what everyone thought of you. Did they like you? Did you make them uncomfortable? Did they want you around? What about Tony, did he really want a daughter in his life? Because you noticed he’d be better off with a son, yeah, like Peter goddamn Parker.

Tony sighs, walking out of his lab and heads to the mini bar to grab a drink. He needs to think: there's absolutely nothing wrong about you, he just didn’t do his job right, you thought he didn’t care, you thought nobody did. Even Friday is turning against him, doing a better job of comforting and being there for you.

“God, I’m such an asshole,” he mutters to himself, rubbing his forehead. He drinks his last shot and heads to the kitchen. “She still awake?” He calls out.

“She is.” Friday has a bitter tone.

He's hesitant to ask again, feeling really bad for not knowing this simple question - “what’s her favorite beverage?”

----

“How do you feel?”

You sniffle. “Well y’know, better than before. I should probably go to sleep. Thanks, Fri.”

“You’re welcome. Also, Mr. Stark is outside your door.”

“W-what?” You put away your books and straighten up, rubbing your damp eyes. “You’re serious? Okay, uh, let him in?” It's more of a question.

“Alright.”

You turn to face your desk as Tony enters the room, holding two steaming mugs. He sits at the end of your bed, just right next to the chair you're sitting on. “Hi,” he gives you a small smile and hands you a mug.

What’s the occasion?

“What’s this?” You ask quietly before taking the mug from his hands. Tony's being gentle and soft, it's odd but you’re not complaining.

“Green tea with honey. I... I thought I saw you make that stuff once.” He says, not mentioning the fact that Friday told him that.

“Oh, well, yeah,” you take a small sip. He added a bit too much honey but other than that it was good. “I thought you preferred coffee, though,”

Tony shrugs, his eyes glistening when he looks at you. “Wouldn’t hurt to try something new.”

“Did - did you want something, Dad?” You always found yourself awkward, couldn’t even make conversation with someone for long, always wanted to get straight to the point so it could be over with.

He looks like he wants to say something but he just averts his gaze to you, his hands, the floor, then suddenly he leans in and hugs you. Your feel your heart swell and body warm up, it’s a new sensation for you after all, you rarely get hugs from people. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “For everything. I’m such a bad dad, I don’t deserve you. I even forgot you when we went out to dinner.”

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything. I had loads of stuff to do earlier anyway, so, but yeah I was just - I just overreact, I’m sensitive. I don’t blame you and the others for not liking me, I know there’s nothing like-able about me, I’m not like Peter-” You ramble, tears now leaving your eyes again.

“Sweetheart, don’t say that,” Tony says as he pulls you closer to him, head resting against his chest while he rubs your back comfortably. “Y/N Stark, you are smart, brilliant - I was just an ass for not acknowledging that.”

“I know you’re just saying that to-”

“Oh, but I’m not,” he now places his hands on your shoulders, getting you to look at him. “Tell me who built their first engine when they were eight?”

You blush, “Dad-”

“No, come on, I wanna hear it.”

“I did.”

“Yes you did. And who made a completely functioning robot at their middle school science fair that blew all the teacher’s minds?”

You’re trying to hide a smile, recalling the memory,  “I did.”

“And who,” Tony gets up and walks to the bulky looking thing that you covered with a sheet, pulling it off, “is currently building a computer from scratch?”

“Dad! That’s still a work in progress,” he messily places the sheet back and chuckles.

“My point is, you’re a clever and talented girl, Y/N. Don’t bring yourself down. And you don’t have to be shy around your family, those idiots have been dying to get to know you but since you don’t talk much... they don’t want to force it. We love you,” he says. “I hope you forgive me ‘cause I really wanna make it up to you. I’m not calling Peter in for a few weeks.” Tony sits down beside you again.

You couldn’t believe he’d do that for you. “You don’t have to, if you need him for something then-”

“-then you could help me instead, if you’re up for it.”

“I’m really sorry for being such a lonely freak,” you yawn, getting back into Tony’s open arms. “I love you.”

Tony tucks you in and lies down beside you, “I love you tons, kiddo.”

You snuggle into his chest, feeling his steady breathing while he rests his chin above your head.

----

It's morning. The Avengers are gathered at your open bedroom door.

“Are you getting all of this, Friday?”

“Yes, Ms. Romanoff.”

“Steve turn that shuttering sound down!” Natasha hisses at the super soldier who's doing his task, taking pictures.

Steve almost drops the phone and has Bruce fix the volume for him.

They’re all watching you and Tony cuddle together, still fast asleep.

“Do we have to stay here until they wake up?”

“Unless you have a great way of waking them up, yes. Now shut up.”

“If you think about it we definitely look creepy right now.” Sam comments.

“It’s their fault for having the door wide open all night!” Clint says.

Tony's actually awake the whole time, listening to them bickering. “You have three seconds to get the hell out of here before I make all of you polish my suits.” With that, the team races down the hall, pushing each other to get away first like literal children.

[fangirlfics]

Trouble Sleeping (Loki x reader)

I swear if this deletes for a third time Im gonna cry 

KINDA A SLOW BURN BOIS

also I didn’t finish reading it over for mistakes bc I’m lazy 

summary: y/n and Loki used to be very close friends and sometimes when she had bad nightmares he’d use his magic to calm her mind, a few years have passed and they’ve grown apart. Her nightmares come back and hesitantly she seeks Loki’s help again 

word count: 3,592 wahahahaha

y/n leaned over one of the balconies that overlooked the kingdom’s private garden. The weather was perfect, the temperature ideal, sky blue, and the plants were all thriving feet below her. Despite the scenery however y/n’s attention was fixated elsewhere. 

Down in the depths of the garden, propped up on one of the fancy golden benches was the youngest Asgardian prince-Loki. His dark raven hair was combed back as he turned to the next page in his novel, the cover matching the shade of green displayed on his clothes. y/n couldn’t help but sigh as she watched the handsome prince, they had once had an unbreakable bond. It was always Loki and y/n-best friends, one wouldn’t be seen without the other. But somewhere among their late teenage years, Loki had become more cold and distant towards y/n-leaving her alone in the giant halls of the castle to wander alone. That’s when her and Thor’s relationship grew stronger-she had always been friends with the God of Thunder but after her and Loki’s relationship crumbled to pieces he was there to cheer her up. 

“Oh there you are!” Thor’s voice boomed-pulling y/n from her daydream. y/n glanced once more at Loki before turning her attention to her tall friend. “I was looking for you!” He beamed. 

“What can I do for you, your highness?” y/n asked with a playful voice.

Thor smiled, putting his hands together before continuing, “I was hoping that you would join me and-” his words faded as he glanced down to the gardens and caught sight of Loki. y/n’s attention soon turned to the railing in front of her as she traced her fingers along it’s smooth surface. “You still watch him.” Thor told her, his normally enthusiastic voice was now dry and serious. “How long have you been thinking of him?”

y/n furrowed her eyebrows, playing with her fingers. “I never stopped.” She confessed, “I know it’s foolish but I can’t help it, I..miss him more than I can even begin to explain.”

Thor was silent as he watched the girl glance back down at the gardens then to the sky. “Let’s go...horseback riding.” He suggested, getting y/n attention. “To lift your spirits, we can go with Sif a-”

“No.“ y/n blurted out, “nobody else-I don’t want to embarrass myself again by falling off my horse.“

Thor chuckled, “nobody is going to think low of you-” he looked at y/n once more sensing her silent plea ”very well then, just us.” He agreed, making her smile.

“Thank you.” She laughed, giving him a hug. It caught Thor by surprise but he then loosely wrapped his arms around y/n in return. “Thank you for everything,” y/n whispered, “really, I don’t know what’d I’d do without you. I’m blessed to have a friend like you.”

“Of course.” 

Neither of the two friends noticed that down in the gardens Loki clenched his jaw, snapping his book shut and silently retreated to his room-they also didn’t notice the pair of blue eyes staring through the window at them, when they returned laughing on horseback. 

_____________________________________________________________

 There was fire everywhere, thick black smoke made it impossible for her to breath. She was choking-desperate for air. She fell to the ground as the fire closed in quickly-it’s heat trapping her in the room. There was no hope, no help was coming and it was impossible to escape, with a loud crack the ceiling caved in leaving her trapped screaming out as the furious flames burned her alive. 

y/n woke up with a start, beads of sweat lined her forehead although her room was cool and she found that her hands were shaking. Realizing it was just a dream she lied back down, covering her face with her hands as she tried desperately to fall back asleep. She got no more sleep that night.

The same thing happened again in the coming days and three days later while in training, y/n who was running on less than four hours of sleep was doing rather well. In one quick movement she jumped up-kicking the sword right out of Fandral’s grip. 

“Very good!” Volstagg commented from across the room.

“Yes.” Fandral agreed, “show me that move and I’ll show you some of mine.” He winked.

“Just give me a time and place.” y/n responded playfully, earning a laugh. 

“Impressive.” Fandral commented at her response. (she normally responded to his joke flirting with an eye roll) 

“Yes impressive.” Loki commented from behind Fandral. “That y/n can apparently chase after two men at once.” He said this while staring casually at Thor. Sif went stiff inder the tension and Thor opened his mouth but y/n spoke first.

“I’m sorry?” 

“Well by the looks of it, you can’t seem to decide between Thor and-” 

“Brother that’s enough.” Thor warned, taking a step forward.

“I’m just putting out a warning, you do know what they say about these sort of things.” Loki remarked, not meeting her eyes.

“You know full well that I am not chasing after anyone.” y/n said, growing aggravated. 

“It sure seems that way.”He then opened the door to the room and left.

“You know what?” y/n responded, dropping her sword to the ground with a loud clang “I am tired of this.”

 “y/n I think it best if you ignore him.” Sif spoke up, “nobody is accusing you of anything, we all know you aren’t that sort of person-”

“Thank you Sif, but I am not taking this.“ y/n exited the room in pursuit of Loki, who was a few paces ahead of her walking calmly. 

“I don’t like being followed.“ He simply called out to her, because his room was only about a minute walk away from the training room he reached it fairly quickly.

“What is your problem?“ y/n asked him, putting her foot in between the door and it’s frame as Loki was about to shut it.

“I don’t have a problem, now if you’d excuse me I’d like you to leave me alone.“ 

 “Then leave me alone.” She huffed, “hold your silvertongue and stop acting as if you’re above me because you’re not.”

“Is that all?“ He asked her calmly, “you’re done with your childish tantrum?” 

“Oh you are so-“ y/n narrowed her eyes.

“So what?“ Loki asked with an eye roll.

“Terrible.“ y/n blurted, earning a cold laugh from the God of Mischief.

“So I’ve been told.“ He stated bored.

“No, I mean you’re really terrible and for so many reasons.”

“Such as?“  

“You want a list?“ y/n asked with a bitter laugh, “ok well you think you’re better than everyone and you’re not, you poke fun at other people because it’s amusing to you and-and everyone-I mean everyone thinks that you’re a snake, ever since we were younger, and I can’t believe I’m just now realizing that..they’re probably right.“ He swallowed hard furrowing his eyebrows, “you used to be my best friend Loki, I’d defend you from people’s accusations when you weren’t around and..I wasted my time because you are everything people say you are and worst.“ She saw the look in his eye, she hurt him-good now he understood how it felt. 

Loki glanced away-looking down at the girl again. “Is that all?” He asked, trying desperately to remain collected. y/n scoffed. “You may think you know me but I know you much more, don’t forget, I’ve been inside your head. People may think I’m a bad person but I can live with that, you on the other hand can’t stand the fact that someone might not like you, so much so that you’ll break down about it. You’re a weak fighter, you’re not as clever or as witty as you seem to think, and frankly I don’t understand the fascination Thor seems to have with you, you’re nothing special.”  

y/n pulled her foot from the doorway. What happened to us? She was about to cry and she did not want him seeing that. “Is that all?” She asked, reciting his previous question.

“Yes.“ He spat coldly. 

“Good.“ She turned to walk away as Loki stayed in his place trying to keep the impression that he didn’t care.

Late at night y/n tossed and turned in her bed, trying to fall asleep after waking up from a particularly realistic dream-she had thought that by laying still she’d trick her body into falling asleep but that didn’t happen. She knew that she had been able to power through the last few days with almost no sleep-but she’d certainly crash if she didn’t get any sleep soon. The thought of making a visit to Loki for help came to her mind, but she really didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing she wanted/needed his help. Screw it. She thought after another couple of hours, her clock read 2:35 as she swung her legs over her bed and slipped on her slippers and robe. 

The halls were dark and empty except for the occasional guards, which she was careful to avoid (she didn’t want to raise any suspicion). Thank God her room was only a three minute walk from Loki’s. It was once she was already in front of Loki’s door that she started getting second thoughts, but she was there already and the worst that could happen was getting the door slammed in her face or no answer. She raised her cold knuckle, letting it hover over the door’s fine wood before knocking. “It’s y/n..” She announced barely above a whisper, “trust me I really don’t want to ask for your help but I see no other option an-”

The door opened a small crack. “you do realize what time it is, right?” Loki’s annoyed voice asked-he didn’t sound like he had just woken up, maybe he was having trouble sleeping also.

“I know.” At her response Loki opened the door wider, revealing himself in a pair of emerald colored pajamas. “Look I know-” at the sound of approaching footsteps (guards) Loki stepped aside, giving her a cue to get in. She did, turning to face him one he closed the door again-his back facing the door he put his hands on his hips.

“What do you want?”

“I can’t sleep.” She said sheepishly, “I just-I’m getting the same nightmares again and I thought that maybe just this once you could, you know..” She put hands up, wiggling her fingers to imitate magic.

Loki rolled his eyes, “first off that’s not at all how magic looks, second why should I help you?”

“Just this once!“ y/n practically begged, “please. I’ve have not been sleeping at all I just need one hour. I won’t make you sleep on my couch like I did when we were younger, you can just...alter my thoughts or something and I’ll leave and-” 

“Fine.“ Loki agreed, grumpily. He walked back over to his bed, getting in between the covers on the left side. “Well?“ He asked when she stared blankly at him. He rolled his eyes again, “Obviously if you go back to your room I won’t be able to sense when I have to alter your thoughts and you’ll just come back to make a racket when you have another nightmare.“ y/n nodded slowly, making her way to the right side of the bed. “Besides it’s a big bed, just stay on that side-away from me.” She laid down, hesitant at first as she tightened her robe around herself. Loki leaned over, placing a finger and thumb over her temples to enter her mind. 

When she woke up she was in the same exact position that she was in when she went to bed and Loki was standing directly above her looking annoyed once again. It was still dark outside as he looked down at her from where he stood. “It’s about time, I’ve been trying to wake you up for the last two minutes.”

“What time is it?“

“6:05..the castles about to start waking up, you should leave before more people get uo to avoid being seen.“ y/n nodded in agreement. 

“Ok“ she walked to his door, turning to watch as he laid back down in his bed. “And Loki..“

“What?“ He sighed.

“Thank you.“ She said softly, leaving the room right after. Loki was left surprised.

“Look I know I said just once-” y/n whispered that night outside of Loki’s door, it was past 2 a.m. again, but surprisingly Loki let her in again.

“The faster you stop pestering me, the better.“ Loki told her harshly. He had woken her up at 6 a.m. again like he had done the the last time. The time after that Loki woke her up at 7 and the time after that she had woken up past 8 to see Loki sitting in a chair some feet from her sharpening his knives-when she had asked him why he hadn’t woken her up he had simply reminded that he could just teleport her back to her room, that way nobody would know she had spent the night there.

Flash forward a month later, y/n tiptoed to Loki’s room in her nightgown again, the nights were getting hotter which had led to her to leave her robe behind. When she had reached Loki’s room she didn’t need to knock, since he now left it unlocked for her. 

Once she laid down on the right side of the bed (more towards the middle now rather than all the way on the edge) Loki laid down about a foot from her. They didn’t go to bed right then however, since they had formed a habit of talking before falling asleep. “Have you been sleeping better?” Loki asked the girl beside him.

“yes.” 

“Good...”

y/n rolled onto her side to face Loki, “Thank you again.” He nodded. “You know for someone who hates me, you’re actually quite kind to me.” The corner of Loki’s mouth folded up slightly,

“I don’t hate you...” He rolled over onto his side to face her, “but what I do hate-“ he then had explained the entire plot of a book just to express his hatred for one detail in it. 

y/n woke up in the middle of the night with a start, her nightmares had came back. As it turned out Loki wasn’t in the room but when he got back with a glass of water he noticed she was off right away. “I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized, sitting beside her, “I was just-I didn’t think-”   

“I know, it’s fine.“ y/n told him, but his hand was still on her shoulder and his blue eyes still held worry in them. “I’m just-I’m going back to bed...“ Loki nodded, watching as she laid down again. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?“ She nodded.

As she began drifting off she felt Loki take her hand in his. Later on in the night y/n woke up randomly, but she wasn’t facing Loki anymore-instead she was facing his dim window, she felt warm but not from the covers and to her surprise she realized that the prince’s arm was around her waist, keeping her close. Their legs were tangled mess at the bottom of the bed and she could hear his slow breathing as he slept peacefully. She looked around slowly, trying to figure out a way to move away to avoid the embarrassment when he wakes up-but just as she began to shift around she heard him speak up. “What time is it?” up. 

“Sorry...” She apologized growing red, “I don’t know how-“  

“It’s fine.“ She heard Loki whisper. 

“It is?“

“This is quite comfortable.“ He whispered again, then he moved slightly closer-resting his head on her shoulder and he fell asleep again-she assumed that he was half awake and didn’t fully process what had happened. She decided it didn’t matter and fell asleep again, after all he wasn’t wrong-it was comfortable.  

There was a loud noise that woke y/n right up, making her jump. Now she realized that she was facing Loki again, her arms were wrapped around his neck like in a hug, his head was nuzzled in the crook of her neck-their legs still a tangled mess. Bang! Bang! There it was again, she lifted her head, looking towards the door as it came again-bang! Bang! 

“Loki” She whispered, gently shaking his sleeping form. He ignored it, pulling her closer in response instead. “Loki, someone’s at the door.” She whispered, trying not to laugh. He sighed looking up towards his door.

“Just ignore it, they’ll go away it’s probably a servant or-”

“Loki!” Thor’s voice came from the other side of the door, “Loki, I know you’re in there! Open the door.” Loki rolled his eyes, standing up to make his way towards the door. 

He opened the door a few inches, “what do you want?” He hissed.

“I-” Thor paused, “are wearing your nightwear?”

“Why is that of any importance-what do you want?”

“er, Loki is there someone in there with you?“ Thor asked. 

y/n held her breath, afraid that somehow Thor would hear her from the doorway. “I-no!” Loki snapped, “What are you talking about?”

“Alright, alright I apologize. I’m here to ask if you have seen y/n? I’ve been searching for her, she’s normally turned up somewhere at this time it’s past 10.” 

“No I don’t know where she is, I haven’t seen her. Check the garden, she’s most likely wandering around there.“ He shut the door, turning back to y/n. 

“Past 10?“ y/n asked, covering her mouth, “I should’ve been awake two hours ago.” Loki shrugged. “Can you teleport me back to my room, I should go to the gardens since Thor’s looking for me.” Loki looked at the ground with an unfamiliar look in his eyes before nodding. “Thank you.”

The girl had spent more time with Thor training than she had expected that day, leading her to take an extra long shower at night to get clean. She hadn’t realized until she looked at her clock that it was past 10-normally she’d already be at Loki’s room by now. Quickly she dried her hair and changed into her nightwear. 

She was about to leave and opened her door and unexpectedly Loki was there with his hand raised looking like he was about to knock. They stared at each other for a moment before she spoke up, “Loki? What are you doing here?” 

He glanced to the side, not wanting to meet here eyes as she awaited his response, “I thought..” he said glancing at the ground before back to her, regaining his composure “that you-“

“Weren’t coming?“ She finished for him, he nodded.

“So I came to see if you were ok, I’ll leave.“

“Wait, no.“ She told him, grabbing his wrist and taking him by surprise, “I was just coming it was just taking me longer, but you can sleep here if you want since you’re already here...?” He nodded in agreement, stepping into her room.

He settled himself into the bed, opening his arms for her to crawl into which she quickly did. The two laid there for a moment, listening to the quietness as Loki slowly brushed through her hair with his fingers.      

“remember the other day when I said that you were terrible?“ y/n suddenly asked, getting Loki’s attention. He stopped running his fingers through her hair. 

“Yes, why do you ask?“ He responded cautiously. 

“I was just mad at you. I’m sorry.“

He took a moment to think to himself, “I didn’t mean what I said either."

“Can I ask you something?” y/n asked after a while later.

“What?”

“Why did you push me away?” She asked, shifting herself to meet his eyes.

Loki sighed-only it wasn’t from being aggravated this time. He backed up a few inches from y/n-staring straight up at the ceiling. “It’s because..”

“Because what?”

“I had noticed that you and Thor were becoming closer and decided to..abandon you before you did me. I thought it’d hurt less that way.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, everyone always seems to choose Thor over me, I just assumed you would, in time, do the same.“ He confessed, still not meeting her gaze. 

“Loki...“ she set her hand on his shoulder waiting for him to look at her. “I would never abandon you for Thor, sure Thor is my friend but so is Fandral, so is Volstagg, so is Sif and I’m not abandoning anyone for them.“

He nodded.

“And tonight..“ y/n spoke up again, “when you thought I wasn’t coming-“

“I assumed you wouldn’t need me anymore, especially after you had spent so much time with Thor.“

“Loki!“

“What?“

“Don’t be like that!“ y/n told him, sitting up, “I do need you! I’ll always need you, I need you don’ t doubt that, and not just because of stupid nightmares, because I care for you and I love you, ok?”

Loki smiled to himself, “you love me?“

“Yes you stupid-“ she stopped talking because Loki had leaned in, capturing her lips in a kiss, taking no time to hesitate she leaned into him further deepening the kiss. After about a minute they pulled apart-resting their foreheads together. 

“I love you too.“

[bopbopstyles]

if u expanded on the cum in the mustache dream i think i would die

you ask and you shall receive. as always, i am here to please the people (but also myself bc whOoWeE this is hot). note: in this concept y/n and h are not in italy/france bc nobody should be travelling rn :) 

You had grown used to the sight of Harry with a beard during quarantine. At first you were a bit unsure of your feelings, not being used to the feeling of his longer whiskers against your cheeks, but with time you discovered that the feeling sent shocks through your body. And obviously the minute Harry discovered how hot you found it, he decided he wouldn’t be shaving any time soon. 

On a relaxed Wednesday night, you laid in bed, curled up reading a True Crime novel that your mom had sent you to read during quarantine. Harry was in the bathroom taking a bath and doing his nightly skincare routine, which rivaled yours in complexity. Your shared nighttime playlist played through the speaker in the bedroom, your body completely calm in an oversized shirt of Harry’s you were wearing to sleep. 

You looked over at the clock. It was nearly eleven, and you wanted Harry to come into bed and cuddle with you. He’d spent nearly forty-five minutes in the bathroom, and while he definitely took his time, this was absurd. “H?” You turned off the playlist and put a bookmark in your book to hold your place. “Almost done?”

You waited for his reply, but got none. Unusual. So you got up, padding over to the closed bathroom door. He loved steaming up the room when he took hot baths, despite your annoyance. You were about to open the door when you heard a low buzz coming from inside the room. 

He was fucking shaving.

That bastard. 

“Harry, I swear to God if you are shaving--” You swung the door open, and found a fully naked Harry, clad in just a towel around his waist, staring at you in the mirror. 

And in one hand, low and behold, was his electric razor. That sneaky, sneaky man. “Hi love,” he had the audacity to quip, keeping his eyes steady with you as he raised the razor back to his face.

Only then did your eyes actually fall to his mouth, to where his beard was. That was when you saw what he had done: he had shaved off most of the beard you had grown to adore, and left just a mustache on his upper lip. “Did you...shave off your beard...and leave just a mustache?”

“Mhm,” he murmured, unable to speak as he swiped the razor down his soapy skin. 

You were leaning against the doorjamb, taking in the sight in front of you. Quite frankly, you weren’t quite sure how you felt about it. You had never seen Harry like this and it wasn’t bad, per se, just not at all what you were expecting. At first, it honestly reminded you of a 70s porno mustache, but the more you studied him the more you softened to the idea. 

And began considering how it would feel against you. 

You shifted, and closed the distance between yourself and your boyfriend, your hands moving around to his chest so you could tweak his nipples slightly. He stiffened in your hold at the feeling and you grinned cheekily, knowing how quickly it got him going. “Almost done?”

Harry nodded ever so slightly, and you leaned your chin on his shoulder, watching him finish up in the mirror. With a few more swipes of the razor, he flicked it off and set it on the counter. His face was all soapy and you wanted nothing more than to wipe it all off. So you did, grabbing a washcloth, wetting it, and motioning for him to turn. 

He followed your directions immediately because let’s face it, he was wrapped around your finger. You brushed the cloth to his skin, the soap disintegrating under your touch and leaving his clean skin behind. “I kind of like it,” you said, and the corner of Harry’s lips turned up at that. 

“Yeah? Was scared you’d hate it.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

He shrugged. “Always wanted to and I never have it this long. Thought if you hated it that much I could always just shave it all off and start over.”

You hummed at the prospect before wiping off the last bit of soap. You studied his new mustache and decided that it definitely had some interesting plus-sides. “I want to try one thing before I’m completely decided.”

Harry’s hands rested on your waist as you set down the cloth, rucking up his shirt on your body so that he could feel your bare skin. “And what’s that?”

You ran your forefinger down Harry’s chest, watching his skin prickle at your touch. “I’d like to feel it between my legs,” you murmured. “Against my pussy,” you added, words barely a whisper between you two.

The reaction from Harry’s body was immediate. His grip tightened on your hips, knuckles turning nearly white, a heavy groan falling from his lips. “Think I can do that,” he mumbled, words tripping over each other. He licked a tongue across his bottom lip and you watched in rapture, desire pooling in your center.

Harry pushed at his towel and in an instant was pulling your legs up and around his waist, carrying you to the bed. Your lips found his, desperate to know what the new mustache felt like against your face. It was a bit rough, since he hadn’t had time to moisturize, but you didn’t mind it. Liked knowing he’d leave a bit of irritation behind, something to remember him by in between kisses. 

When he dropped you to the bed, you scooted back immediately and Harry followed you like a cat on the prowl. However, when he reached you, he flopped to the side, back hitting the duvet. His hands grabbed at your skin and then he said, “Come sit on my face, darlin’.”

You didn’t need to be asked twice. Your legs swung over his chest, his hands fastening to your thighs, and helping you inch up his body until your center sat directly over his lips, just an inch or so between your lips and his. “Haven’t done this in a while,” you reminded him. You’d missed it too.

“Because I cum everytime I do and then I can’t be inside your sweet, sweet, pussy,” he replied, ending each sweet with an open mouthed kiss to your inner thigh. 

You were squirming in his grasp, knees pressing against his temples in desperation for him to move. And when he did, you spat out a curse mixed with his name. “Fuck, Harry, fuck.”

He pulled you flush against him as he licked against your center, and that was when you finally felt his mustache against your skin. It brushed against your clit and you keened, head tipping back as he moved his tongue over you. Your hands were in his wet curls, holding his head to your center and without even thinking about it, you were moving your hips against his lips, unable to stop yourself. 

You were chasing his mustache, the way it nudged at your skin and set it on fire. That combined with his tongue darting inside of you and curling had you a blubbering mess above him. “Harry, please, please, please...” You could do nothing but pant, mumble nonsense as he made pleasure roll through you like a storm. 

Overwhelmed by his touch, your fingers pulled on his hair and he moaned--the combination of the vibrations against your skin and the roughness of his mustache left your spine arching. His hands left your thighs and move upwards, pushing up the shirt of his you wore in search of your breasts. You helped him, tugging at the fabric until it was on the ground, and Harry found what he was searching for, rolling and tweaking your nipples and leaving you moaning in response. 

His mustache was going to be the death of you, you thought as he tilted his chin ever so slightly and it rubbed against your clit. It was almost simulating the brush of fingers, delicate, coming and going with no rhythm. It continued to surprise you and you were panting his name, telling him to Please don’t stop--fuck--don’t stop--yes--H--please.

You could feel the tension tightening in your belly, the way your legs started to shake on either side of his head. Your wetness was pooling, you knew, all over him. You didn’t know if you had been this wet in a while, the combination of his saliva on your skin and your own juices making a mess on him. 

“Gonna cum for me, baby?” You felt the vibrations of his words and heard them, despite the fact that your hips were flush to his face. 

And fuck yes, you were going to cum. It was hurtling towards you like a freight train and each time his head tilted and his ‘stache brushed another fraction of your skin it was like a shock of lightening. Harry had always been good using his tongue, skilled beyond belief, so the feeling of his tongue licking in and out of you, lapping at you without abandon, combined with his mustache was a recipe for an orgasm like no other. 

“Yes,” you moaned out for him, pulling hard on his hair when he sucked at your clit. 

“Want it,” he said, words muffled but not intelligible, “give it to me, yeah? Want it all over my face. All over me, baby.”

That was all you needed. Your whole body shook in his grasp, back arching and falling, spine curving as you supported yourself ever so slightly on your knees. But mostly, your entire weight was balanced on Harry. He was holding you steady on his face and in his hands, and you were perfectly happy to never move. The crest of your orgasm had you coming harder than you had in the past few days, the feeling leaving you unable to even think. 

And then he turned his head from side to side, just slightly, and your sensitivity mixed with his whiskers directly moving across your clit had you buckling, body convulsing above him. 

You heaved a breath and slipped your hands from his hair to the bed. Pushing your weight into your hands, you were able to clamor off of him, moving down so your center sat on his hips, not his face. And what you encountered there was just as you expected.

“You came too,” you said in an exhale. 

“Course I did.” And then your eyes lifted from the ropes of cum on his stomach to his face. His lips were glistening, set in a wide, fucked out smile as he looked at you. But your gaze was caught specifically on the slick in his mustache, and you realized he had your cum in his ‘stache. 

“You’ve got my cum in your mustache.”

What he did next had you breathless. His tongue darted out and ran across his mustache, collecting your juices and then slipping his tongue back into his mouth. You watched as he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Tastes delicious.”

You pressed your lips to his and you collected the rest of your cum when you licked your tongue into his mouth, his hands gripping your hips as you kissed him. You could taste yourself on his tongue, smell yourself as you kissed him, remnants of your juices still on his mustache. And you fucking loved it. 

“So,” he said when you pulled away, hovering above him, eyes on his. “What do you say? Like the ‘stache?”

“Hate you,” you mumbled and Harry let out a laugh before caging you in his arms and holding you close, just as you had wanted all night. 

literally send me straight to fucking hell

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

So I did the random word generator, and I got paper. And that made me think of paper airplanes. So, how about reader making a paper airplane and throwing it through the SDR2 Boys window, and inside the paper airplane is a love letter confessing reader’s feelings toward them.

T h a n k you for this bc I gotta practice writing the bois. I absolutely love writing these types of scenarios owo

..........

Teruteru

“Oh? What could this be~?” The chef noticed the paper airplane that appeared on the floor of his cottage, picking it up. 

It was only then he noticed his partially opened window and chuckled. For him, it was easy to put two-and-two together.

“Ah, how cliche. Do I have a secret admirer on this island? Perhaps they wanna share all their secrets with me~?” The thoughts running through his mind almost made his nose bleed, though he managed to control himself as he unfolded the plane to read its contents.

And it turned out to be a simple love letter from you--short, sweet, and innocent. You even marked it with a heart at the bottom of the page.

Teruteru’s face became tomato-red as he clutched the letter to his chest, before hurrying out of his cottage and to the hotel restaurant, unable to contain his excitement any longer.

“I’m on my way, my new beloved~!!” He trilled, knowing you’d be waiting for him there.

...............

Gundham

“Huh..so this is what the mighty winds have carried into my domain.” Gundham mused as he looked at the paper airplane that somehow landed on his bed. He looked outside for a moment, wondering who could have sent it--but there was no one.

“A mysterious messenger, hm..what do you think, Cham-P?” He glanced at the large golden hamster on his shoulder, seeing his nod of approval. “Fuhaha! Then it’s decided! Now..let us see what this message entails.”

With a hum, he unfolded the note and read it thoroughly, gawking about halfway through it. 

“...wh-what...this...is this...a-a proclamation of love?!” He tugged his scarf over his blushing face. “But..who could love such a....ah..” Then he reached the bottom of the note and saw it was none other than-

“[Y/n], but of course. There’s...a certain aura to them that..I can’t help but feel enchanted by,” he muttered to himself. “But I shall harden my heart until I know this proclamation is true, lest I turn out to be a blind fool..”

With that declaration, he got up and summoned the Dark Devas to his side, before venturing out of his cottage, clutching the note tightly.

............

Kazuichi

“AH!! I’VE BEEN AMBUSHED!!”

The scream made you stop in your tracks as you looked back, seeing the door fly open and a certain mechanic come rushing out. 

“[Y/n]! Thank god you’re here!” His hands flew onto your shoulders. “I got hit by an object!! I-I think someone was tryna kill me!!”

‘Oh boy..’ You thought, realizing that your plan didn’t go accordingly. “Well, did you see what the object was?”

“N-No...but...what does it matter?!!”

“.....wouldn’t it help to find out what it was if you’re convinced it was attempted murder?”

“..that’s true. C’mon. I don’t wanna go back alone.” Kazuichi dragged you into his cottage, making sure he locked the door once inside. “It came through that window, hitting me in the back of the head....damn it. I just wanted fresh air and I can’t even get that!” Then he shut the window with a huff.

“Was it this?”

Looking back, he saw the paper airplane in your hand. “Yeah-!! Wait...a paper airplane? Seriously? That’s what attacked me?”

“I sent this.”

“...so YOU attacked me?!”

“I didn’t mean to!” You snapped, causing him to fall silent, before you unfolded it and handed it to him. “It’s a letter...for you. It’s got nothing to do with murder, I promise.”

He cautiously took the paper and read it, mumbling to himself. By the time he was done, his face became red. “[Y/n]...is this true?” He looked up at you with a toothy grin and stars in his eyes. “You like me??!!”

“Yeah..” You smiled back. “Though I was hesitant to send it since, y’know....you had eyes on Sonia-”

“Oh! Don’t worry, I only admire Miss Sonia from afar!” He explained. “As the princess she is, I only wanna respect and defend her. Nothing more! I-I’ve honestly...liked you for a while too. My bad for not reading this sooner.”

“It’s okay,” you chuckled. “At least I have my answer.” 

...............

Fuyuhiko

“Sheesh, try not to poke my other eye out next time, okay?”

“Wh-Wha..” You spun around to see the Ultimate Yakuza, realizing he was clutching the note--that was once a paper airplane--in his hand. “Sorry, Fuyu..I had no idea where it would land so I uh...booked it. Kinda. How did you know-?”

“Saw you taking off before this even got into my room,” he explained. “I still got one good eye to keep a lookout for things.”

“..ah, I see..” You rubbed your neck awkwardly. “So um...you must’ve read it.”

“It’s laughably cliche, but...I...uh...d-do feel the same way as you..” Fuyuhiko mumbled the last part, but you could hear his confession clear as day, and your eyes lit up.

“R-Really? I mean...I...I wasn’t sure, since I know you’re still trying to move on from-”

“It’s okay.” He sighed, looking back at you. “It..hasn’t been easy, but..you were the first to forgive me after that trial. Even though...I acted like a total shithead to you when we first got here. Still feel kinda bad about it..”

Your racing heart eventually calmed itself, as you smiled gently and approached him. “It’s okay. If..you wanna make up for it, maybe we can..uh..hang out at the movie theater sometime today?”

“Tch, like a first date?” He chuckled. “Alright. I’m in.”

............

Nekomaru

“[Y/N]!!”

The booming voice made you nearly slam the mailbox door on your hand. You had a habit of checking it mornings and nights.

You whirled around to see Nekomaru rush over to you, a wide grin on his face as he clutched a certain note in his large hand. “I have received your confession letter and accept it wholeheartedly!!”

“R-Really?” You gawked. “Just like that..?”

“Of course!” He laughed. “Your method of delivery is unique! Very old-school. And clearly you’ve put all of your heart and soul into this letter. If I were to ever reject that hard work, my name wouldn’t be-!!”

“Nekomaru Nidai?” You chuckled, feeling calmer now that he was serious.

“See? You already know me better than I know myself!” The Ultimate Team Manager grinned as he hugged you to his chest. “Can you hear that? My heart is beating with great spirit and love!!”

“Yeah, I definitely hear it loud and clear.” Smiling, you hugged him back, happier than ever.

...............

Twogami

When Byakuya found a paper airplane on his desk, he didn’t know what to think at first.

This was childish at best--sneakily throwing it through the window and then taking off? If one of the others wanted to talk to him about something, then they should’ve just rang the doorbell. 

Surely he wasn’t that intimidating of a leader...even if some didn’t like it.

But curiosity eventually won over everything else, and so he took the paper, realizing there was a message on it. “Hmm, very strange..” He hummed, opening it to read what it said.

And he swore his heart stopped, realizing this was a confession and the sender was....you?

Did you really think of him that way? Even though..he hasn’t fully told you the truth about his Ultimate?

And if he did, would you still send him something like this?

.............

Hajime

Hajime didn’t know why he woke up earlier before the morning announcement--until he noticed something right next to his face. “Huh..? What’s this?”

Sitting upright, he picked up the object. “Oh, a paper airplane. Haven’t seen one of these in forever.”

With a small chuckle, he unfolded it, having noticed letters on the inside of it--and also a red heart, oddly enough. He read the message written and...his heart began racing as he realized this was a love letter.

Even though he had his suspicions, he couldn’t believe someone on this island would love a talent-less person like himself.

Why?

As he read the sender’s name, Hajime jumped as he heard a knock on his door. He quickly stuffed the note under his pillow before going to answer it--seeing you on the other side.

“A-Ah..[y/n]..hi. Thank you for knocking..” He tried to play it cool, tugging on his shirt collar awkwardly, though you just smiled.

“I take it you read it already?”

“What? Oh! Uh..yeah..” The poor boy’s face grew redder by the second.

“I thought the paper airplane idea was too childish, so...I figured I’d come here and confess myself. But...seems I’m a little too late for that.” You chuckled nervously. “So....?”

“I-I don’t know what to say..” He admitted. “Why me? I’m the most ordinary out of everyone here.”

“Oh. Hajime.” With a small laugh, you took his hand into yours. “Because it’s you that I feel happiest around..all those times we’ve spent together..meant a lot. I had fun and I’d like to do more of them with you.”

“A-As..your boyfriend you mean?” Hajime gulped, smiling as he tried retaining his composure. “Sure. I’d..love to do that.”

............

Nagito

“Heh..I never would’ve guessed a nobody like me was at the center of someone’s heart..”

“Uh, I’m right here, Nagito.”

“Oh I know.” The white-haired male chuckled as he spun around on his heel, facing you. He looked down at the love letter you had cleverly disguised as a paper airplane. “But..come to think of it..Mikan’s words had me a bit...crushed..”

You tilted your head, remembering the third trial. “You mean, when she said-?”

“That I had nobody who loved me? Well, it seems she was wrong about that.” His smile seemed to stretch wider as he put the letter in his pocket. “I guess I can’t call myself a stepping stone anymore..now that I have a new purpose--one that fills me with a much greater hope!” He wheezed out a small laugh.

While his laughter usually unnerved the other students, you could only smile and feel your heart grow warmer whenever you heard it.

“Yes, yes..perhaps this was the love she was talking about.” Nagito put a hand to his chest. “But this love wasn’t born from despair.”

“Nah, that’s just a twisted sense of love.” You reached out to take his other hand into yours, bringing him slightly closer to you. “This is real, genuine love.” 

His face became a bit flushed, though it wasn’t from the despair disease, but from the simple realization that..

He was lucky enough to be loved.

..........

Izuru

“So, instead of talking to me, you sent this.”

“Oh!” You turned around to see the “Ultimate Hope” standing before. There was an open note in his hand that you tried to deliver to his room in the form of a paper airplane.

The keyword is “tried”, as he was quick to call out to you before you had the chance to run away. So you felt embarrassed, especially as he skimmed over your letter.

After a long and awkward silence, Izuru finally looked up at you. His face remained blank, though you could tell he was curious about your message.

“Yep, that’s my uh..confession.” With a sigh, you approached him calmly. “I know..love is something foreign to you, but...I figured I’d take my chances. Even if the world’s gone to shit, I had to at least get this off my chest. And before you ask...no, it’s not because of your talents.”

“....I see.” He muttered, his gaze returning to the letter. “You understand what I am and what I’ve done, and yet...huh...?” Then he put a hand to his chest, stunned for a moment as he felt his heartbeat slightly quicken.

Wait..

His heart?

What was happening to him? 

What is this?

“Huh, they might’ve suppressed your old feelings. But..not all of them, it seems.”

He wasn’t sure what to say to that exactly.

This was something he definitely couldn’t have predicted.

[g0ldengubler]

chapter 3~a night on the town

(*i do not own this gif*)

A/N: hi everyone! this song is what I thought would be playing in a certain part of the story. I'll put a * at the part. yes, it's minecraft but i could care less bc it’s very calming and dreamy. i also quickly want to say thank you so much for the love on nauseous like it truly means a lot and it’s what’s keeping me going :’) if anyone could give a lesson in tumblr fanfic writing tho that would be great bc i feel like such a grandma xD thank you again for reading and enjoyyy :)

Category: fluff

CW: smoking weed (i don’t encourage this but please smoke responsibly if u ever do!)

Word Count: 1545

before you read | last chapter | next chapter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're suddenly in a beautiful part of the park. You didn't see this on your little mini tour, but it was magical. Spencer took you over to a giant tree on a small hill off the pond. The light from the moon made the water twinkle as the two of you sat under the tree. You felt like you were in a fairytale, and this was like a forest filled with fairy magic. It had rained a bit sometime in the late afternoon, so the ground beneath you and the leaves on the trees sparkled with dew drops. The sight of it all filled you with wonder. The night hadn't even really started yet and already you wished the sun never came up again. This couldn't end.

Spencer sat against the tree as he rummages through his bag to find his pen. "I'm speechless," You said as you sat down diagonal of him, "This place is breathtaking."

"I tend to come by here to read when I can't sleep or during the day having trouble on a case," said Spencer, "I found this spot around the time I first joined the BAU. It keeps me grounded."

You grab your pen out of your bag and hold it in your hands, waiting for Spencer. He finally finds his in the bottom of his bag and takes it out. You click your pens on and Spencer froze, not knowing what to do.

"Do we...cheers?" He asks, "Like we do when we drink?"

"Not usually, no," you chuckled, "But if you want to we can."

"You sound like you've done this before, Y/N."

"Meh, I experimented a bit in high school and college. But I never did it everyday like my classmates. Just here and there if I was really stressed."

Spencer brings his pen close to yours. "Well, cheers!" He says awkwardly.

"Cheers!" You giggle.

You both take three or four hits. On the last hit, Spencer started coughing. "Did you accidentally take a really big hit?" You ask.

"I think-" He coughs again, "-so!"

After his little coughing attack, you both laugh. You shift your weight onto your elbows. Legs straight out, you let the high take over your body. Spencer puts his head against the tree. He takes a couple more hits and let's it hit him. You start to feel the tingles again through your body and your eyes getting heavy.

"I wonder what the percentage of these carts are," you said, "I should ask Garcia."

"It must be a lot if I already feel like I smoked a whole blunt by myself."

"Well I was gonna that it's just because you're a beginner so you'll be a lightweight, but now you sound like you've done this before, Doctor."

"I swear I just know my research! I've never smoked before last night."

"Mmhmm, surrrre," you said as you started to get up from the ground, using the tree as support, "I'm sure it was just for that paper."

You grab your bag and rub the grass and dirt that was on your pants. You give a hand to Spencer as he gets up and you start heading outside of the park. You both stood there, looking around. "So, is there anywhere you'd like to revisit?"

You think for a moment. "How about the Lincoln Memorial?"

"Perfect!"

He lends his arm out and you link yours with his as you walk to the Lincoln Memorial. There was a nice cool breeze as you walked under the city lights, your blurry vision making it feel like you were in a movie. You looked up at Spencer and saw that his eyelids were a little bit lower than usual. You felt panic hit you as you unlock your phone and open snapchat. Turning the flash on, you look at the top of your phone and took a photo. You looked at your eyes and noticed they were a bit pink, but nothing to worry about.

"You ok?" asked Spencer.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My eyes get red easily when I'm high so I'm just checking."

"My dear, you look quite marvelous if I do say so myself!" He says, using a british accent, which made you laugh.

Finally, you made it to the memorial. You debated on climbing all those steps to the top, but Spencer made a bet that he could beat you to the top, and you weren't going to back out of a challenge. You both speed up the steps but Spencer beats you.

"Who's the pussy now, huh?" Spencer teases from what you said the night before, out of breath.

You put your hands on your knees, trying to catch yours. "Very funny, Doctor."

Once your breathing went back to normal, you slowly walked closer to the statue, admiring it. "You know," you began, "While my love for crime fighting was my whole life, I had a small interest in President Lincoln. I have no clue why, but I've been reading books about him since I was 4."

You paused for a moment, then turned around to face Spencer. "I have a fact for you, Doctor," you began, but then Spencer cut you off.

"You know you can call me Spencer or Spence, right? Come to think of it, you're the only one who calls me Spence."

"Ok, well Spence,"  you restated, "Have you heard of the theory that he might've been a closeted gay or bisexual man?"

"No actually, I haven't heard much on it only that it was debunked."

"That is true, but if it wasn't debunked I'd see him more as a closeted bisexual man, not gay."

"Why do you say that?" asked Spencer.

"Because people always forget about it. Bisexuality is real. He truly loved Mary with all his heart and would do anything for her, but I'm sure he questioned his sexuality at some point and just never went deeper into it."

You paused again, seeing if he was paying attention. You then turn back to face Lincoln and continued, "Take Freddie Mercury, for example. Now when he came out to his Mary, he came out as bisexual. But the public just took it as that he was gay because bisexuality wasn't seen by the public as a real sexuality, even Mary. It makes me angry at how long biphobia went on for. As someone who is bisexual, I don't want to feel like a ghost. I want to feel real."

Spencer slowly walks up behind you and puts a hand on your shoulder. He turns you around and you look up at him with glassy, pink-colored eyes. "Y/N, you are real. Everything about you is to me."

You put your hand on top of his, not breaking the look into each other's eyes. Or well, what you could see through his eyelids.

*The two of you then headed down the steps carefully and continue on your tour. But it slowly ended as you ended up walking down the empty streets. At one point, you ended up on cobble road. The two of you were pretty baked, as you would take more hits whenever no one was looking or there weren't too many people walking or driving. Spencer began to act like he was on a tight rope as he walked along parking blocks. He held your hand for support, trying not to fall and twist his ankle.

*You felt content. You never really experienced something like this before, but you always dreamt about it. You never really went out much when you were in school. You focused all your time in your room, working  on schoolwork and keeping up with what Rossi was doing in the BAU and the cases they were working on.  Rossi was like an idol to you. Ever since you met him, you wanted to do what he was doing; Saving people and getting the bad guys, protecting citizens. But you always dreamt of having an adventure like this with a true friend, and even though you had only known Spencer for a week now, he already was like that true friend.

*But you were also feeling something more. There was something about Spencer holding your hand that just felt...right. It was so hard to explain, even to yourself as you tried to figure out what you were feeling exactly. Maybe it was just the high you were feeling, but looking at his face, Spencer seemed to be quite cute. So cute, that you felt butterflies.

*He jumps off a parking block under a tall street lamp and grabs your other hand in his. He looks down to you as you look up. Finally, his lips lock with yours and you don't stop him. You kiss him back as your arms wrapped around each other, feeling every inch of each other's bodies.

Spencer breaks the kiss and cups your face in his hands. "Do you want to continue our little fun we had the other night?" he asked, almost in a raspy tone.

You nodded and kissed him again.

[hoekaashi]

3 am Talks - hq pt 3

a/n: almost done, two more left!! i’m not sure why, but these ones were really fun for me to do and i had to cut myself off before i wrote whole fics for each one. also thank you to my wifey for helping me with akaashi, idk why his was so hard for me to do ): pairings: bokuto x reader, akaashi x reader, ushijima x reader, tendou x reader, semi x reader warnings: some spoilers for post timeskip, minor cussing, a bit suggestive (ushi) taglist: @babydabi​, @suckersuki​, @bakugoustanaccount​, @animoozies​ part 2 | part 4

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

⇾ definitely someone who talks about the first things that just pop into his mind ⇾ would literally change topics in the middle of his sentence ⇾ “did you see my last spread, I was centerfold Tsum-Tsum was not happy but when I offered to trade places with him, it made him even more mad - I just got an email saying my new knee pads have been shipped YES - babe are you hungry? Let’s go to the convenience store and get some snacks” ⇾ all over the place ⇾ but the second sleep starts to hit him, he become even softer than he already is ⇾ this baby would def be asking for validation without outright asking for it - we all know he lives to be praised but as he gets older, he stops asking for it directly ⇾ i feel like he just becomes more self-conscious after he realizes that being on a national team means that now the entire WORLD is scrutinizing him ⇾ i could keep going on about him imma stop

“I couldn’t help it, I started laughing.” Even hours later, Bokuto was trying to hold in laughter from the memory of the event. “I think that’s why he’s mad at you Kou.” Bokuto pouted. “I offered to help him up.” “Yeah, but you were also red from laughing so hard and wiping the tears from your eyes. I don’t think he appreciated that.” Bokuto got quiet and you knew what that meant. “But at the end of the day, the pictures came out amazing. You look amazing.” His smile, although soft compared to his usual grin, came back. “You think so?” You hummed. “If volleyball doesn’t work out, you could be a model. I already know one of my friends has a shrine dedicated to you. Which honestly feels weird, but hey, if it’s harmless why should I care?” you said, going off on a tangent. Bokuto brushed off the compliment that normally would’ve stroked his ego. “Nah, I don’t think I could handle the pressure.” You cocked an eyebrow. “People constantly judging you and criticizing you. You know me, I thrive with praise and…” “Become emo with criticism?” He let out a dry chuckle. “Yeah. I’m trying to change.” You reached over and caressed his cheek. “There’s a difference between growing up and mellowing out and changing who you are. You’ve done the growing up part and you’re slowly mellowing out as much as you can. But please don’t change.” “But people keep saying -” “Forget what they say. I love you the way you are now.” Bokuto’s full grin returned to his face. “I love you more.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ more of a listener he learned his ways from babysitting bo ⇾ he would just enjoy listening to whatever you had on your mind ⇾ one to add his own commentary and thoughts to whatever you were saying ⇾ if he were to talk though, he would reminisce  ⇾ talks of bokuto and his old team, things he misses ⇾ but speaking of bokuto, he would go off on how proud he is seeing his former ace doing so well for himself now - even if he still isn’t a normal player ⇾ depending on how open he’s feeling, he might even wander into his insecurities and childhood, things he doesn’t really open up about unless he feels really close to you

“And then I booked it out of there,” you finished your story. Akaashi hummed. “What about the other girl who was still working?” “Look, she never sticks around to help me when I have extra work, I wasn’t going to stick around to help her.” He cracked a smile at your pettiness. “Wait, didn’t you have lunch with Bokuto today?” “Yes. It was nice.” You waited a moment thinking that Akaashi would add more. “That’s it? It was nice?” “Well, you know how he is. But it was nice to see him trying to change himself. Well, improve himself.” You rolled over from your back onto his chest and reached up to play with his hair. “We talked a lot about playing during high school and what the others are doing these days. Everyone is so busy now, it’s hard to keep up. I’m proud of them.” You didn’t let the smile on Akaashi’s face go unnoticed, commenting on how it always seemed to be there whenever he talked about his former ace. “Leave me alone, I’m happy with how far he’s come on his own. I can’t but smile when I think about the people I love.” “Do you smile when you think about me?” “Of course I do, you idiot,” he replied before kissing your forehead.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ i very strongly believe he would talk about parallel universes ⇾ he would go into the existence of them but also like ‘what if there was a way for people in a parallel universe who could watch me as if my life was a movie’ ⇾ if he was in a more serious mood, like if he had a big match coming up or sum, he would talk more about his goals ⇾ the things he hopes to accomplish in the future, the outcomes he wants in life ⇾ if he was tired, it would be more like akaashi - more listening, less talking ⇾ i feel like he would always want to know what’s happening in your mind so he would ask you the most random questions or just want to listen to you talk as he drifts off to sleep

“Do you think they saw me when I tripped over Leo and dropped the dishes?” You remembered when he tripped over the cat the two of you were raising and ended up breaking a few plates. As annoyed as you were that the plates you like broke, it gave you a reason to go domestic shopping with your boyfriend. You sighed. “No Toshi. If they were watching you, it would be when you’re playing volleyball or taking a shower.” “But you’re in the shower with me sometimes. You think they saw what we were doing?” “If they did,” you started with your eyebrows raised, “I hope they enjoy it as much I do.” He chuckled. “Why when I’m playing volleyball?” “Because that’s your job now. What else would they watch you do? Play with Leo?” He didn’t reply as he looked down to the cat in his lap. Petting it, the two of you sat in silence for a while. You finally thought he dropped the topic as you started to drift to sleep. “I wonder if the people watching like me. Or what if they think I’m the villain?” You sat up in bed. “Why would you think you would be a villain in a show about volleyball?” “I don’t know. I could be a side character that no one likes.” His voice got quieter the more he talked. “Aw, Toshi. I’m sure you have many, many fans in this parallel universe who all wish to be dating you. You never intentionally hurt anyone. You tried, in your own way, to work with Oikawa, but it’s not like you sabotaged him or anything.” He nodded. “He should’ve come to Shiratorizawa. We could’ve been that impressive first year duo instead of Hinata and Kageyama.” You rubbed his shoulder. “I know, baby. You remind me of that at least once a month.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ he would get deep ⇾ talks about his childhood where he was bullied to where he is now ⇾ while he has his insecurities, he would still be very proud of himself and how far he’s come and everything he accomplished ⇾ on the topic of being proud, he would never pass up the opportunity to talk up his bff ushi and he would hype him up even though it’s just the two of you ⇾ he wouldn’t forget about the other third years aka his other ‘best friends’ (i use quotes bc he only has eyes for ushi lezbehonest) ⇾ the talk would shift over to you and how lucky he feels to have found you ⇾ half of the things he would say would just to get you all embarrassed and shy so he could tease you about it

You woke up an hour ago because when you went to snuggle with your boyfriend, his body was missing from bed. For the last hour, he talked to you about how much he’s grown over the years, not once stopping to let you say anything. You finally had enough of this monologue. “Satori, how much more can you possibly say? It’s been a whole ass hour. Get your ass to bed so I can snuggle with you and lemme sleep.” Sighing, he walked away from the window where he was using the light from the moon to set the mood of his speech. Getting into bed, he waited until you were satisfied and closed your eyes. “But also, Wakatoshi has gotten so far on his own. I couldn’t be more proud of my best friend.” “Satori, please. For the love of God.” “Babe, you gotta let me air this out. Good communication and all that.” “We don’t have a single problem that needs to be ‘aired out’ right now. I got work in the morning and you like the sound of your own voice.” That still didn’t stop him. “And Semi, I gotta hand it to him, the man finally learned how to dress properly. And his music isn’t that bad either so I gotta find something new to annoy him with now. Reon is still keeping his fighting spirit alive and playing volleyball too. My friends, all doing so well.” Tendou glanced down at you who had fallen asleep to his heart beats. “But you. I’m the most proud of you. I’m so lucky to have found you. Not that I needed someone in my life at the time, but all the happiness you’ve given me on top of the great things in my life. You’re an amazing person, and I appreciate the impact you’ve made in my life.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ before we start with semisemi, he plays bass and sings in his band but he also plays the piano and guitar (these are MY OWN hcs, none of this is canon) ⇾ that being said, he would stay up late at night playing his guitar, working on songs and quietly singing lyrics to himself ⇾ his talks would be about purpose - like why he’s on this earth similar to hinata ⇾ aha ha ha so if yall read kuroo’s, you know how i feel about scorpios ⇾ semi babe is not safe from that either ⇾ while he is bad at opening up, he also has a short temper so expect apologies for his random outbursts from him ⇾ imma touch on this more in my semi relationship hcs so i shall stop here

You had been on your computer, finishing up some work of yours that you had been procrastinating on with Semi sitting on the couch, strumming his guitar as he worked on a new song. You hadn’t been paying attention the entire time, not until you closed your laptop and sat back in your chair. “Eita, what’s that song?” Your sudden question caused him to jump a little. “Oh, uh, I didn’t realize you were listening.” “I just heard you singing. What is that?” He rubbed the nape of his neck. “I was hoping to hold out until it was finished.” You walked over to him, draping your arms around his shoulders and leaning your weight on him. You read the lyrics he had so far, your eyes growing bigger with each line. “What… is this?” “An apology.” You pulled away from him. “I know I’m not the easiest boyfriend and that when I have a problem, I should say something rather than exploding on you over the littlest thing. I didn’t really know how else to express this without messing it all up.” “I’ve known you for a long time, I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t figure that much out.” “But still, it doesn’t mean that I should just stay this way. I should be growing with you as a person, not stuck how I am. I really do need to learn to express myself better.” You let out a small chuckle. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.” You had. Four times already. “And this will be the last. Thank you for putting up with me.” Your arms wrapped around him once again. “Next time, I expect an entire album with love songs dedicated to me. Got it?” “Well fuck, I better not mess up. I don’t have enough material for an entire love album.” You shoved him. “Hey! Maybe I will leave your sorry ass.” “I’m just kidding! Babe! Where are you going?!”

[exciting]

As requested, books / series I read in 2020 in the order I read them, with a few brief thoughts. (This took me a hot second because there are a few and also I moved cities) Should I keep a consistent goodreads? Yes I should but I didn’t think of that at the time, so bone apple teeth & sorry if I offend you abt your faves x

P.S. I can’t figure out how to do a read more on mobile so long post ahead!

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas - This is one of the most vivid published fantasy books I have ever read... I read it twice in rapid succession. The fandom POPS off. I must say I have issues with certain aspects e.g. fae lore completely ignored à la Twilight, all love interests 500+ years old and technically a different species, etc (I’m not going to deconstruct the entire series here but just know that I could... Nesta deserves better)

Cruel Prince by Holly Black - This fucking slaps, HB clearly has done her research, the lore is near immaculate, and it explores the Fae in such a unique way, tying it to the modern world subtly and seamlessly. My only qualm was that the books felt quite short; truly wish there had been more content.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas (6/7) - So basically I read this in one single, hyperfixated fit which meant I literally locked myself in my room for three days straight and read all six books back to back in a row from morning to the wee hours. Which is not to say it was spectacular; although it was a VERY rich world, sometimes it was too much... this felt like 6 stories in one. Ik she was young when she wrote this but it is my humble opinion that SJM needs a better editor & I personally think Rowan is a grade A asshole / straight up abusive (& personally think the ACOTAR Tamlin plot was born from that?). It’s good but not as good as ACOTAR. Skip-read the last book. 

Grishaverse (Shadow and Bone) by Leigh Bardugo (3) - This is essential to read before SOC but was very much simply a YA fantasy book, although the world was cool and the way the love plot played out was, imo, a subtle middle finger to the fantasy trope. Felt very much aimed at younger readers though? Really liked the sandwhich structure of the Proluge and Epilogue, especially in #2

Six of Crows series by Leigh Bardugo (2) - INCREDIBLE continuation of Grishaverse, better than the original series by a mile. It has the range, the diversity, the representation (the male lead is a disabled asexual and still the most cunning of the entire cast of characters), the plot is phenomenal, and it manages such a well rounded plot in only two books which means nothing is stretched out or squeezed in more than need be. Deserves all the praise it gets.

King of Scars series by Leigh Bardugo (0.5/1) - Personally I don’t consider this book canon, and while it’s nice to see the rest of Nina’s journey & the world again & everyone else, I don't like it. I will, however, be reading book 2 when it comes out, so shame on me, I suppose.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (1/1) - this was incredibly cool although it went off in a completely different direction than I thought it would based off the first few chapters? One of my favourite YA-author-debuts-New-Adult novels in 2020 though!

Crescent City by Sarah J Maas (1/1) - This was supposed to be SJM/s New Adult debut, although personally I would put her other series in New Adult, and I can’t say a remarkable amount was different with this except they said “fuck” and “ass” a lot. WHY is the romantic interest 500 years old AGAIN. I just... don’t... I just don’t think it was necessary... the world was cool though, and the last half of the book was riveting, but the beginning was quite slow and I thought the sword thing was predictable. I am interested to see where this goes though.

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab (3) - This world is so fucking cool... four Londons aka parallel universes & the one in ‘our’ world is set in industrial era London. Magic, girls dressing up as boys, thieves, pirates, royalty... it all just slaps. Schwab is an incredible writer & I was completely immersed.

Midnight Sun by SMeyer - I didn’t think anything could possibly detract even further from the Twilight story but I was sorely mistaken... seeing the stalking from Edward’s POV - and it was worse than depicted in Twilight, for the record - completely obliterated any sort of romance the first half of the original book may have portrayed. I still hold the opinion that the entire series would have been better if some kind of vampire lore had been abided by, if only to see all of the villains thwarted by someone dropping a bag of rice on the ground, forcing them to have to count them all.

An ember in the Ash by Sabaa Tahir  (3/4) - This was just a very stereotypical ya fantasy series, emphasis on the YOUNG... it wasn’t anything to write home about but I remember quite enjoying it at the time. 

The Power by Naomi Alderman - This book is FUCKING incredible and EXCEPTIONALLY thought provoking... essentially women alone develop a power of electric shock etc. and then take over the world from men, and it explores feminism and the balance between equality & tipping the scales in the other direction. Written by a friend of M.Atwood in a similar tone to handmaids tale, I would say? Content warning; there are some exceptionally graphic scenes in the latter half of the novel. 

Hamlet by Wllm Shksp - I can’t believe it took me this long to finally read it but Ophelia is my favourite name in the entire world & we love to see a woman go batshit (although she didn’t deserve that). 

Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas - this was unsettling in the best sense of the word... it was a little slow & honestly more of a concept than a big reveal, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it after I finished it? A Secret History vibes but make it blurry like the memory of all those dystopian novels you read when you were young?

The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue by V.E. Schwab - This is without a doubt my book of the year, and probably the best book I read in 2020? I stayed up all night on a friend’s couch reading it, got a book hangover and reread the ending, and then thrust it upon my mother who doesn’t usually read but read this, and loved it just as much. HIGHLY recommend and you HAVE to read it, it’s beautiful and endearing and just plain wonderful.

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat (3/3) - I went into this knowing it was going to be terrible, because I had received a blow by blow telling me as much; although I must say that it did learn a remarkable amount of new words, the books did get better as the series went on, and it did have a rather charming ending? BIG content warning for almost everything.

Sapiens by Yuval Harari - mind-expanding & must recommend for everyone, there is everything in this and I daresay everyone should posses this kind of knowledge? I listened to it as an audiobook (which I recommend because it’s rather hearty) but will be buying this in hardcopy & rereading it with annotations. 

Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - Without a doubt, one of the most beautiful novels I have ever read, and certainly the most beautiful portrayal of the story of Achilles and the battle of Troy I have ever seen. Patroclus deserved the justice that was given to him in this book; indeed, all of the characters were written with justice and grace. Highly recommend.

Trials of Apollo by Rick Riordan (3/5) - Apollo is my favourite Greek God, and the sexiest greek god, and Rick Riordan’s writing slaps, as always. It did pain me to see Apollo, the sexy immortal, have to be forced back into a 16 year old’s body but everything else? Whimsical & wonderful, as expected. 

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong - a retelling of Romeo and Juliette, except it’s set in Shanghai in the 1920′s, and the protagonists already have a history. Very well done, characters are incredibly diverse in race, sexual orientation, gender, and ability / disability (and honestly, representation has never appeared so effortless and elegant). Also it includes a monster and possible magic. Incredibly underrated and highly recommend.

The Once and Future Witches by Alix. E Harrow - this was such a unique concept, and truly captivating, the story was charming, and felt like the kind of beautiful fairytale you would read as children but with more grit? ABSOLUTELY recommend this one

The Pisces by Melissa Broder - I hated this so much, not my vibe at all. Mermaid smut x therapy but make it cynical and judgemental (I know there was a moral in there but that’s not my point) also the dog dies.

Library of the Unwritten by A.J. Hackwith (1/2) - really interesting & unique concept (all unwritten novels / ideas reside in a special library that is part of Hell and then sometimes the books can come to life) however, my first thought upon reading this was “this reads as if it’s stemmed from one of those writing prompt tumblr posts” bc of the tone and whatever and as it turns out I was somewhat correct, it did stem from a short story (not bad just obvious). It did kind of settle down as it went on but I found reading it kind of a drag, and I don’t think I will read the second one.

Abandon by Meg Cabot - 1. Meg Cabot’s writing always fucking slaps 2. Hades and Persephone but make it modern & very 2000′s & somehow kind of unique 3. I literally loved this, sue me

Medusa Girls (Sweet Venom) by Tera Childs - Like Percy Jackson except they are descendants of Medusa so they are Gorgons and have fangs & venom (hence the title). Gave me very 2000′s vibes? Quite cool but tbh I found the books quite short (like two hours each, if that)? Do NOT read the GoodReads description of the book before you read it, you will spoil it for yourself.

Bring me their Hearts by Sara Wolf - In my opinion, this is one of the most underrated YA series I read in 2020. The heroine is endearing, self aware, witty, and loves to look pretty even while kicking ass which in my opinion is an incredibly underrated trait. Also, immortality without being hundreds of years old? VERY sexy. HIGHLY recommend. 

A Deal with the Elf King by Elise Kova - High commendation to be given for the fact that it is a standalone and yet manages to fit in the plot of what would usually be a full fantasy trilogy without cutting corners or being a million miles long? Also sweet storyline & beautiful ending? If you liked ACOTAR you should read this as a “what would have / could have been had SJM had a different editor” (No shade I promise).

The Iron Fae by Julie Kagawa (4/4 + novellas) - Incredibly detailed faerie set around the modern world & our current use of technology & iron in it. Very neat adventure-style series, by the time I read the last novella I was well and truly done with the world (aka provided enough content to be fulfilling). Was definitely aimed at a younger audience though, NO smut / smut was brushed over.

The Modern Faerie Tales by Holly Black (3/3 SS) - This is technically the prequel to Cruel prince, set in the modern world, but with the fae world inside it as it traditional? All I have to say is that it is excellent & I highly recommend it.

Bridgerton series (The Duke and I) by Julia Quinn (9/9) - I read this after watching the Netflix show twice through and I am obsessed, although the books were not quite as elegant as the show, and some parts that made me cringe either by their portrayal (it is very firmly set in the 19th century and thus some things are not handled with tact or grace), the characters were exceptionally loveable and I am so excited to see where the show takes them! Lovely language & an abundance of words I had never seen before (always a plus). 

[moonlightsolo]

Bête Noire

summary: Rey has invited you to her quarters and hopefully it is just to make amends. Ever since Leia had told you both to stay away from each other, you haven’t seen her except when she randomly sat down next to you. Maybe she can give you some insight on why the Force is making you see Kylo Ren.

pairing: kylo ren x female reader

warnings: angry reader

wc: 2.6k

a/n: can we just pretend that the plot of the rise of skywalker didn’t happen during ok bc it literally will ruin my fic lol & sorry for the lack of kylo in this chapter i promise you’ll get some next week :)

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

The soft stomps of your boots carry you down the hallway towards Rey’s quarters, you can’t help but grow nervous. You're confused as to why she sat down next to you at dinner the night before. She tried to help you when something was stirring in the Force, making your ears ring uncontrollably. 

Rey told you to meditate to calm yourself and your power made you rise from the ground. Poe had brought you back to your room and now she wants you to meet her this morning. Although the negative memories of her on the Star Destroyer still plays in your mind.

Once you reach her door, your knuckles comes up to softly knock on the metal. It opens, but she is sitting across the room scanning through a book on her lap. “Come in.” She says. With a hesitant step, you move through the doorway and then the door shuts behind you. 

Her eyes peek up at you, her wide smile showing as she stands and runs to you. Her arms engulf you in a hug as she rests her chin in the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry.” Her voice cracks as it comes out, she is obviously upset. You can’t help but hug her back just as tight.

You both stand there holding each other as tears flow freely down each other’s cheeks. It is almost like the Force was mending your relationship with her. She slowly pulls away to wipe under her eyes, “I’ve been looking through Master Luke’s books.” Her accent spills out as she walks over to the scribbled novel.

“Supposedly you can float or rise from the ground during deep meditation,” She mumbles, her index finger running over the words. “It helps increase your power and strengthen your sense of the Force.” She taps the page, smiling as she looks at you.

“I’ve done it once before. I was meditating purposely, although i wasn't floating on purpose. Kylo walked in on me. That was when I found Leia.” You rub your temple as you walk towards her to look at the book.

“I’ve been trying to train myself, with Leia’s help, of course, to be a Jedi. It’s quite challenging.” She states as she closes the book and lays it in a bin with the others.

“A Jedi? Doesn’t that mean you’ll be the last one?” Your eyes widen in surprise.

“Yes... Unless Ben Solo decides to return, but I’m not sure how that would be handled.” She runs her fingers over the pages. “You’re against Jedi’s now aren’t you?” She glances up at you.

“Not exactly. I never really had an opinion on them.” You shrug. “I guess that’s better than hating them right?” She laughs softly and you just nod with a smile.

“In those books, is there anything about uh... Force connections or hallucinations?” You mumble as you take a step forward with your eyes on the worn books. “Like a Force Bond?” She asks like she knows what you’re talking about. “Yes, that.”

“You have one with him don’t you?” She walks up to you, her eyes wide with curiosity.

“I do. With Kylo, I see him a lot.” You look up at her and you can see the sympathy on her face.

“It’s not an hallucination. It’s the Force connecting you both. I used to have one with him but I severed it on Crait. I haven’t felt his presence since then.” You felt a pang of jealousy in your chest.

Kylo had this bond with Rey too?

You shake away that feeling as Rey brings you to sit down, “Let’s talk more.” Her hand rests on your upper back as she leads you to sit down.

-

You and Rey talk for a very long time, mostly about what happened while you were with the First Order. Leia ends up interrupting to remind you about your check-up at the med-bay.

Rey and Leia tag along, walking with you down the cold hallways. When you lay down on the bed the nurse rubs a wand on your abdomen that shows the child on the screen. “I see here that you’re actually carrying two.” The nurse says as he points at the black and white screen.

“Like twins?” You croak out, your hand going over your mouth in disbelief. Leia was shocked as well, usually, she can feel those kinds of things in the Force. “Just like my brother and me.” She says as she takes your hand. “We will help you with everything along the way.” She looks up at Rey and she also nods to reassure you. 

-

Rey and Leia leave you to walk back to your room since they both have other matters to attend to. It was quite nice to have Rey back in your life again. She’s gonna be a great aunt— You almost laugh out loud at the thought.

As you walk into your shared quarters, you see that Poe is sitting at the desk with a datapad in his hand, BB-8 is right next to him and Kaydel is sitting on his bed reading a book with the door wide open.

“Hi.” You simply say to him with a small wave in front of his eyes, “Oh hey.” He glances up at you for a moment before going back to concentrating on whatever he is doing.

“I’ve been trying to get him off of that thing but he’s doing important business.” She shrugs and motions for you to come into his room.

Hesitatingly, you move forward and past the doorframe. Your eyes take in the space, it’s just all Poe. It looks just like yours, with the bed and wardrobe but he had Resistance memorabilia hanging on the walls. Like torn fabric from an old Republic jacket, his helmet and his own fighter gear hanging up on hooks.

Kaydel interrupts your gazing eyes, “Can I ask you a question?” She sits up on the bed, her eyes are fixed on you. She seems too serious.

You shrug, not really knowing what it was going to be about.

“What was it like to live with the First Order like one of them?” She asks, making you grimace on the inside. What a random question. “It was fine? A hardworking environment. A bit tense at times.” Your fingers toy with some of the clutter on Poe’s dresser.

“Were you really Kylo Ren’s apprentice? What is he like when it’s only you two together?” You can feel your insides heating up with anger, she’s just trying to bring up the past; she knows the answers to these questions.

“Does he live up to his title? Is he as monstrous behind closed doors as he is depicted to be? Oh wait, I saw his true colors when he interrogated me after being captured. I can say that he is as despicable as everyone thinks.” She spits out like venom was seething from her mouth.

As she opens her mouth to say more to you, your hand comes up to silence her. Her lips automatically shut from the Force. “Don’t you dare speak any more about him. You don’t even know him.” You growled, your whole face is twisted in disgust. “You don’t know what he’s been through. You have no idea.” Her hands scrambled to her throat, pulling at an unseen hand that was muting her voice box. BB-8 rolls up next to you, beeping at you to stop but you ignore the droid.

A strong arm wraps around your waist and tugs you back, causing you to let go of her throat. “You dark scum!” She screams, voice hoarse.

“What are you doing?!” Poe is screaming at you now as he almost throws you out of the room. “You could have killed her!” His finger is pointing at you sternly.

“Poe! She was trying to get under my skin! She was bringing up Ren!” You retaliated, “And no! I couldn’t have killed her, I wasn’t choking her. I just had a hold on her voice so she would just shut the hell up!” You throw your hands up in the air.

His bedroom door closes from her slamming it, “You cannot use the Force on her! Well for one, you can’t use it out of anger. And two, you can’t use it on your friends! What is wrong with you?!” Once those words left his mouth, your mouth shuts and you go silent. He realizes what he just said, he goes to apologize but you pull away. “Don’t.”

You walk over to your bedroom door and disappear behind it and lean against the door once it’s closed. You take deep shaky breaths to try and control your emotions but it doesn’t work. Your hand goes to your mouth as you weep silently— Hot tears stream down your face. You lost your temper, you didn’t want to hurt anyone. Especially Poe, you didn’t want him to think differently of you.

After you calm down a bit, you stand to your feet to change into some warm pajamas. Hopefully, you can sleep away the memories of today.

-

When you wake up, it isn’t by choice. Someone is pushing your body quite rough trying to wake you up. The room is dark, at first you thought it was Kylo but he wouldn’t wake you up like that. “What?” You snapped, eyes still closed.

“Come train with me.” It’s Rey, “I think you’ll really benefit from this lesson.” She whispers and her hand drops from your arm.

You open your eyes with a groan but she wasn’t in front of you. “Meet me in the hallway near my room. I’ll bring you to where I train.” Her voice is in her head, you could swear she was right there.

Once you get up and get dressed, you pull your boots on your feet and zip them up. You wrap the black tunic around your neck that you stole from Kylo. You sneak out into the dark living area and into the vacant hallways.

The chilly air around you made you shiver, it was much warmer in the rooms as they have more heating and insulation.

Your hand rests on your belly as your feet bring you around a few bends until you see Rey down the hall. She jogs over to you excitedly, her staff hanging on her back. It reminds you of your own that you left behind.

She can tell you’re getting distracted by it, “Come with me. You’ll really love the view.” She motions with her head to follow. Rey weaves and bobs down the hallways until she makes it to a man-made stone staircase that leads to who knows where.

“It’s just up here.” She begins to climb, her legs moving faster than yours can as she skips some steps. Once you both make it to the top, your eyes scan the area. The walls are made of ice, the rising sun flowing through the chunks causing a blue glow to light up the area.

“It’s a bit cold, but you get used to it. It’s a really good area to train. Especially meditate. It’s such a different climate from Jakku. I actually don’t mind the cold.” She rambles as she lays out her supplies; Her staff, a book, and Luke Skywalkers lightsaber. “It’s really beautiful up here. Thank you for showing me this.” Your eyes focus on the saber and she notices how you’re eyeing it.

“Leia lets me borrow it to train. Hopefully, I can make my own someday.” She smiles. “You ready?” She asks as she opens up the Jedi book. “After I trained with Master Luke on Ahch-To, I discovered so many things. I have never been more focused or in touch with the Force.” She runs her fingers over the pages as she flips through to find something. You never got to see her after she left to find him only because you were left on Crait.

“Ah, meditating. Here we are. We’re gonna float together but purposely this time.” 

She sits down on the stone ground and you copy her. You shiver from the cold seeping through your pants as you criss-cross your legs and close your eyes.

She puts her hand on the ground, “Feel the energy. The balance. The peace and the violence.” Her thick accent murmurs into the cold air, “Find the balance.”

Pictures appear in your mind as you channel the Force. Animals, the hidden parts in the dark places of ice caverns, death, family and friends...

You gasp in awe when you see the sunrise and the multiple moons beginning to fade from the sky. Visions flipped through your brain, almost like you are seeing the frozen planet from another perspective. The snow is glistening and beautiful but it’s still so cold, the animals are prancing around but the circle of life still continues.

Your eyes slowly open and for a moment you think nothing has changed but you both are floating. There are stray rocks and chunks of ice in the air, the lightsaber, and the books. Her eyes open when she notices you looking around and she smiles so wide.

“It worked!” She laughs as she gently floats back to the ground and onto her feet. Her hand reaches out to catch a falling rock in her hand and she tosses it around. You slowly come back down to the ground and onto your feet, your body feels light and renewed.

“You’re more than welcome to stay while I train with the saber.” She says as she summons it to her hand and turns it on.

Your eyes focus on the bright blue hue, the calming sound of the saber was different from Kylo’s. It was almost soothing. “I think I’m gonna grab a bite to eat actually. Thank you. I’ll see you later, Rey.” You wave as you start to go back down the steps.

You follow the hallways with a smile on your face and a bounce in your step, one of your hands rest on your belly as you greet everyone good morning. It is quite busy at sunrise for some reason. They look slightly confused but they still greet you with the same attitude. 

You imagine doing this on the Star Destroyer, the thought makes you laugh because everyone was too serious to smile on that ship.

Once you make it to your quarters, you walk in and see that Poe’s bedroom door was wide open and so was yours. You couldn’t have been gone for more than thirty minutes? You didn’t think he would’ve woken up this early.

You walk back out into the hallway and to the commissary to see if Poe was there. It was practically empty, the food was being turned from breakfast to lunch. You could tell by how the droids and people were preparing it.

You make your way over to the hangar, the doors open and it’s an instant rush of cold air. Your breath comes out in puffs as you look around for his X-wing, spotting the orange and white droid you smile. Then Poe’s bright jumpsuit as slides out from underneath his ship.

You slowly make your way over to him, your arms crossed with your hands under them to keep warm. “Hi.” You interrupt his work, his eyes look at you then back at the wires and back at you. “You’re alive? I had no idea where you went.” He sighs. He lays down his tools and wipes his gloves off on his pants.

Poe pulls you into an unexpected hug, “I was honestly worried. Especially after everything that happened last night. I went to go check with Leia but she hasn’t hear from you or Rey.” He pulls away only slightly, “You’re okay? They’re okay?” He asks looking down at your belly then back up at you, his famous smile showcases his dimple.

“Never better.” You grin as you go in for one more hug.

tag list: @officiallpeterparker @funnysadshit @ymariejp @attorneyl @fangirl570 @trinityrud20 @kylos-sassy-cousin @delicatelyherdreams @fizzywoohoo @savvy7392 @angelias134 @that-girl-named-alex @cas-backwards-tie @glimmering-darling-dolly @glitterypinkkitty @blxkstar​ @his-snow-white-queen @elsasshole​ @smiithys @nanocoool @deathbyarabbit @alex-skr​

[vanchlo]

The Assistant / Chapter Forty-One, “Finally”

*Gifs are not mine*

Clickable Links:

- *NEW* Becky Magazine Cover from an O.C. Tag Challenge c:

- Masterlist feat. all chapters and Character Surveys

- Inspo tag

- Hecky Playlist

- Read on Wattpad

Warnings: None

Word Count: 10.3k words

Song:  You’re Still The One by Shania Twain, bc duh Just Like Heaven by The Cure (click to listen)

A/N: I am SO excited for you to read this chapter, you’ll soon find out why ;)

                                 SNEAKYYYYYY PEEEEEK

For the fiftieth time in the last two days, I couldn’t be more grateful for how easy things are coming together. I couldn’t be more thankful to have him by my side. It still feels like a dream getting to live this life now, and getting to work with him on the daily, singing Spice Girls amidst stolen cheek kisses.

One puzzle piece at a time, and there’s only one or two pieces left in this puzzle of ours.

"And then my soul saw you and it kind of went ‘Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you.’"

                             - Iain Thomas, ‘I Wrote This For You’

There was truly nothing that could rock the waves I was currently riding, and I couldn’t wait a second longer to do the very thing that would make them even bigger. They had only climbed since telling Asher earlier this evening, and the smile that shared on our faces. 

Skye was sprawled out on the sofa when I opened the door, finding it impossible to hide the grin on my face as I read a text from Harry that had dinged a moment before. 

i havent been this excited for somethin in a long time bug. absolutely cant wait to see u on friday, idk if i can wait that long ;) good luck on ur case with Myles 2moro, you’ll do great Becks xo

“Well, look who has a pep in her step, all of a sudden. I don’t think I’ve seen you smile in days, since Harry’s left. What’s the occasion, Ree?” she teases, surprising me with the simple act of muting an episode of The Great British Bake Off that our nights consist of as of late. 

“I may have had a good day,” I suggest with a shrug of my shoulders as I put my coat away in the closet. 

“Since bloody when? You were in a shitty mood the last time we spoke, having ‘Harry withdrawals,’ or something. I’d say the only reason you could be happy right now is if you’d seen him, which would be impossible seeing he’s in Glasgow for another few days,” she mutters. I observe the look on her face change and how her eyebrows dance along her forehead after I turn around to face her, letting the smile lose. “Wait, he’s still there, isn’t he?” she questions, reaching a hand out as if looking for an answer with her body, too. 

My head shakes from side to side slowly as my lips part to show my teeth, a rarity among my smiles, and the expression dawning on her face tells me she recognizes it too. “He came back today, his case finished early, Skye. And I asked him out on a date!” 

“You didn’t?! Ree, you better not be kidding with me, or I’m gonna be really pissed at you!” she chuckles, feigning intimidation in her voice. Hints of the emotions buzzing around inside of me play across her face, meanwhile, my happiness keeps growing notch after notch. 

I don’t know if I can wait that long either, Harry, cause I can’t remember the last time I was this excited. Thank you so much xxx

“I’m not kidding, Skye, and he said yes! He didn’t even let me finish asking and he said yes!” I exclaim after sending the text I had been typing, feeling her arms come around me in a shock when I look back up. 

“I’m so fucking happy for you, Ree, it’s about bloody time!” she remarks excitedly, almost crushing me in a hug. 

“Me too, I can’t remember the last time I was this happy,” I admit softly, relaxing in her arms, even though part of me wishes they were the arms of somebody else. Only an hour later, and I already miss him. Wow, I’ve got this bad. 

“Did you kiss him at least?!”

“No, I’m waiting for the date, I guess. I looked like proper crap today, I’ve been up so late the last few nights prepping for the case with Myles,” I laugh, pulling away from her smell of peaches and chocolate when my pocket dings. 

“First kisses aren’t something you plan, Ree, they just happen out of nowhere. The sooner, the better.” 

“I guess you’re right,” I confess with a smile stuck to my lips. “We’ll just see what happens.”

+

Happiness and its synonyms still fill me to the brim an hour later, and whilst my thumbs flit across the screen of my phone. Her words stare back at me, and unbeknownst to me how, I wish I could see her again already. My footsteps wander down the main hallway, and before I know what I’m doing, I arrive at her door. Low and behold, it’s closed and my heart sinks into my chest when I find darkness waiting behind it. 

miss u already bug xoxo

My words are whisked off to her, and soon my legs are entering the doorway of a certain somebody’s office, although not the one I was hoping for.

“It’s about time you made your rounds and came to say hi to me. Should I feel offended I’m the last one on your list?” Myles teases from behind his desk with a grin lining his lips. 

“Oh, shuddup. Did Becks leave already fer tha night?” I question, letting my shoulder fall to the door frame as I watch the small ‘delivered’ appear under my blue text. 

“Yeah, I ran into her about twenty minutes ago in the break room when she was clocking out. What, didn’t you already see her?”

“Ya, she was me first visitor. I was jus’ hopin’ t’ see her ‘gain,” I shrug, well aware of the terrible job I’m doing of hiding the one hundred watt smile I’m wearing. 

“And does that have anything to do with you blinding me with that smile of yours?” he inquires, raising a sandy blonde eyebrow at me. 

“Maybe it has sumthin’ t’ do with me havin’ a date with her on Friday, as of an hour ago,” I reveal casually with a shrug of my shoulders, feeling the smile grow larger somehow. 

“Fucking finally,” Myles chimes with happiness spreading across his face, and I nod quickly. 

“I know, ‘s all finally comin’ t’getha fer us.”

+

It would be accurate to say that I was still in utter disbelief after yesterday, and rehashing it all to Skye the second I got home only made it all seem more real, and even better. Then again, that was an understatement, because I had been waiting for this for years. I had been waiting to feel this way for too long, and to be able to say and think that I have a date with Harry tomorrow. An actual, proper date. Several times, I cursed myself for not making the date on Thursday night, tonight, because although I had waited painstakingly for five days, another two felt like twenty years.

It was even bittersweet coming to work the next day and not seeing him there, confusing the habits and expectations I had come to know. I still had to finish up the case with Myles that he would finish arguing, with my help, for the next two days. I tried to think of it that way, that the date would be even better after finishing that case, and in a way, signifying my return to Harry. God, it was all too perfect, but it would be even more so if I didn’t have to wait another bloody day, well actually two, to see him. Yesterday wasn’t long enough, but when I think about it, no length of time ever is with him and that’s how I know I’m in trouble.

Also, that I’m walking right into one of my dreams.

+

After a morning spent in court starting off the case, I was back at the firm with Myles after lunch to work on it some more. He had given me more time to myself to work on my own than Harry had, but I preferred it that way. Harry was right, Myles was good to me, and I did learn a lot from him, but it wasn’t the same as being with Harry. Nothing has ever and never will be the same as being with him, certainly not. Also, the whole Family and Interpersonal side of court was depressing as fuck, I found out. The topic littered Harry and I’s conversations the last almost week, resulting in me taking after him and deciding to stay far away from it for now. 

I’m reminded of him everywhere I go, and it definitely makes trying to get my work done all the more difficult. I see his face in the succulent sat at the corner of my desk, behind my office chair where he would lean over me to help me on my laptop, on my sofa where he opened his birthday presents with explosive happiness, and in the reflection on the tall window where I now stand in the same spot as on his birthday when he hugged me against his front with a kiss to my head. A day later, and it all still feels so surreal to me, and I’m not mad about it. I appreciate its distracting qualities, leaving me to not worry as much about what the hell I’m going to wear tomorrow, and messing things up. Skye’s already picked out five outfits for me by now, I’m sure, but I was at a loss last night when I perused my closet. The pressure to impress somebody I’ve already met a hundred times, feels even greater than my second interview I had at the firm, and I tell myself I don’t know why, even though I do.

I want to wear the right thing, and feel beautiful. More than that, I don’t want to mess things up between us, again, no matter how stupid that sounds. No matter how premature it is to worry about right now.

With the happiest of sighs, I wander over to my bookshelf that now sits a dozen law books, gifts from Harry, Skye, Robbie, my dad, and Asher. Perhaps my favorite, to no surprise, is the Lawyer’s Dictionary that Harry got me. It has a section for all of the law jargon, another on many important laws, and lastly finishes with a guide for working the courtroom. I was just getting on my tippy toes to grab it when I feel a pair of arms surround my chest and pull me against theirs. 

“Hiya, brat,” a voice teases, tickling my neck. 

“Harry!” I exclaim with surprise, grabbing hold of his forearms. “Why do you love to scare me so much?”

“I dunno, ‘s fun, and coz yer a brat, so ya deserve it,” he giggles, and finally I relent and do too as I turn around to face him. 

“I am not a brat!” I argue, finding his flushed stubbly cheeks, taking a second to get used to the thick stubble covering them now. 

“Ya are, I reckon, couldn’t even wake me up last night t’ finish tha rest o’ tha FRIENDS episode on FaceTime, jus’ kept watchin’ along without me. If that doesn’t make ya a brat, then I dunno what does,” he tuts, clucking his tongue as he shakes his head at me. My giggles grow into a hearty chuckle as his folded hands settle at the small of my back. 

“Harry Edward!” I scoff, swatting at his chest once again hidden by his Northface coat, matching his black skinny jeans. 

“Hey, ya betta watch that hand o’ yers, bug, and that mouth too.”

“I’m not a brat,” I whine, all facial features falling into a pout that immediately grabs his attention. 

“Rebecca Ann, don’t even start with me. Put that bloody pout away befo’ ya regret it,” he insists, pointing his eyes at me with the smallest of smirks peeking through on his lips. It wins him over and soon his dimples accompany his deep laugh. “Stop, yer not a brat, bug, ‘m jus’ teasin’ ya. Y’know that. Jus’ can’t believe it didn’t even take a week fer ya t’ skip ahead o’ me in our show.”

“The episode was already three quarters of the way over!” I protest, earning a good finger wag at me. I fight back and push against his chest. “And I didn’t want to wake you up, you were so tired.”

“No, it was not! It was only half way through and ya couldn’t even wake me up! How rude o’ my Becks t’ be makin’ up excuses.” 

“Stop being mean to me,” I pout again, beginning to turn away with my arms crossed over my chest. 

“Hey, ‘m jus’ givin' ya a hard time, bug, y’know that. Yer neva a brat, and even if ya are, yer my brat,” Harry hums warmly, the honey returning to his voice in full force as he catches me around the middle with his arms once again. I can’t remember the last time I heard his voice absent of the honey, though. I don’t ever want to. “I wouldn’t want ya any otha way.”

“I knew you were only joking.”

“You li’l liar!” he laughs against my temple and mine joins his ever so contagious one. “Y’know, ‘ve always loved how ya neva take me shit and how ya can dish it right back, Becks.”

“Of course, I figured out at  the very beginning that I wouldn’t get by without it.”

“That’s me girl,” he coos, bringing me forth and round to find his gentle green eyes once more. They smile at me with a sparkle to them I haven’t had the pleasure to know before. I’ve yet to see him look at anybody this way, and I wonder if I have my own special look in my eyes for him, too. If I do, it was born long ago. 

“What are you doing here? I thought you had said you were going to take it easy until Monday, since your case got done early,” I wonder aloud, unsure of what to do with my hands until they venture to his coat’s zipper on their own, pulling it up and down distractedly. 

“I was, until My’ roped me into a partner meetin’ t’day, and I wanted t’ see a special sumbody,” he sighs with an accented roll of his eyes at first, and then they dish out their dazzle on me. “But that’s it, and ‘m off afta that. I hafta do a li’l work fer my case afta finishin’ it, but it’ll only take ten minutes tops. Then laundry, cleanin’, and tha like at home before grocery shoppin’. Only jus’ now got outta bed, tha bloody jetlag.”

“Ah, I see. The work of a lawyer never ends, it seems,” I comment and he nods above me, eyes watching my every move closely. “God, if I knew you’d be here today I would have tried a little harder when I got dressed this morning,” I laugh nervously, my eyes falling to his crimson button-up peeking out from his coat, decorated with gray flowers and foliage. 

“Ya don’t even hafta try and ya look gorgeous, Becks. Promise,” Harry disagrees, the molasses pouring out from his words and into my heart, pushing the very last chip away. Just like that, I’m all his again, but I think it happened long before this and I didn’t know. Daring a look up at him, the dimples couldn’t be deeper in his cheeks as his sunshine smile radiates onto me, the pad of his thumb rough against my cheek. “I sure missed seein’ that smile, ‘s me favourite.” 

My anxiousness carries away with the sunshine, and I’m left with red cheeks and a smile that makes them hurt. It almost pains me to look into his bright sunny eyes, but I wouldn’t want to be looking anywhere else. Finally, I let myself look and with that, I let him in a little further and start to let go. 

“You’re really laying it on thick,” I jest harmlessly with a smile, dragging my finger down the seam of his chest where the two sides of the fabric meet in red cloth buttons. 

“Ya, coz I finally can,” he grins, and the warmth spreading across my body in tingly waves finds an outlet in a soft laugh of mine. 

Anxious yes, but ever so happy while his hand spreads out flush against my back, fingertips moving lazily. I’ve already pinched myself once or twice today wondering if this is all a dream, and shocked that I could ever be this happy. There were so many times I doubted the existence of it and its possibility, and everything it had to do with having this with Harry. Predictably, an electronic twinkle interrupts our conversation, and I’m confused to find him lifting his wrist. 

“Woah, look at the fancy lawyer,” I tease, his already colossal smile growing taller as he flicks a finger across his shiny new Apple watch. “That must have cost a pretty penny.”

“Ya, and My’ dished out e’ry last cent,” he titters, pressing his palm to the shiny surface rounded by space grey edges, returning his eyes and hands to me. “It was his birthday present t’ me, sayin’ that I should be mo’ organized at me age, or sumthin’.”

“Talk about brutal honesty right there.”

“Don’t go bloody agreein’ with him now!” Harry scoffs, but his mouth open in disgust is no more, lined by joyous lips that soon attack my cheeks in kisses. 

“No, no, no!” I beg aloud in shrieks when his quick fingers dance along my ribs, sending jolts of electricity across my body. More exclamations and pleas escape them before I say the magic words, “Harry Edward!” 

“What d’ya want, hmm, Rebecca Ann?” he asks breathlessly, that adorable breathy laugh falling off of his glossy cherry lips. 

“I think you like saying my full name too much,” I contend, giving up and falling into the sage green abyss of his eyes for the hundredth time, or more. 

“Maybe I do. Maybe I like it,” he shrugs mischievously, that smirk glued to his lips that pull me in. 

“Do you like it, the watch?”

“Ya, ‘s nice. I thought ‘d told ya ‘bout it, sorry. Reckon it has helped me t’ stay organized. Speakin’ of, me meetin’ ‘s inna few, so I hafta take off, bug,” he croons with disapproving lips, his bottom lip soon jutting out from the top. 

“Harry Styles, don’t you even!” I threaten rather weakly, the sounds of happiness leaving my lips doing a good job of that. 

“Oh, and what if I don’t? Hmmm, Rebecca Holte, jus’ what will ya do ‘bout it?” Harry returns, wiggling an eyebrow at me that makes my chest rumble with harder laughter. 

“I’ll just have to stop you, but I don’t know how just yet.”

A devilish smirk is born on his lips before my eyes, and soon leaves my view while his face escapes to the crook of my neck, his voice soon tickling my skin, “Lawyers gotta be quick on their feet, bug. Reckon I can think o’ a way ya can make these lips stop poutin’, maybe ya can try it on me t’morro’ afta our date,” he hums against my neck, knitting up his sentence with a whisper of a kiss below my ear.

I feel like a fricken sixteen-year-old all over again, and I’m loving every second. 

“You better get going to your meeting, before you’re late, Harry,” I giggle uncontrollably,  sure that my face is blotchy with red all over because of what he just said. My suspicion is confirmed when he lifts his head of moused curls to look me in the eyes again, and the glint in them tells me so. I feel like I can read him even better now, all because he’s letting me. 

“‘s alright, they expect me t’ be late by now, ‘s a given,” he insists with a comedic shrug of his shoulders, hands wandering away from my back and to our sides where they invite my hands into his. 

“Will you stop and say goodbye this time?”

“‘Course, bug. ‘m sorry I missed ya yestaday, ya had already left afta I had made me rounds,” he assures me, receiving a quiet ‘it’s okay’ from me. 

“Try not to fall asleep at your meeting today,” I joke, watching his eyes roll into the back of his head briefly before he scoops me into his arms for a squeeze. 

“I won’t if ya promise not t’ be a brat anymo’ and skip ahead in our show.”

“Get lost and go to your meeting already!” I laugh, shoving him away by his chest, observant of his mouth relaxing into a disbelieving ‘O’. His laugh echoes mine quickly, only disrupted when my hand comes to his cheek to plant my lips on his other for a few seconds longer than necessary. “I’m so glad you’re back, Harry.”

“So am I, Becks, so bloody much,” he echoes, holding my hands a little tighter in his, even bringing one to his lips for a kiss. “Good luck on yer case, love, for tha thousandth time. ‘m so proud o’ you.”

With that, he leaves me in a puddle of my own surreal emotions, disappearing from my office with a look over his shoulder wearing that smirk. That very smirk I want so desperately to kiss off those cherry lips already. Tomorrow, I think, if I can make it until then. Just one more day.

+

I had been struggling with finishing this last part, or rather redoing it, for too long now. When my eyes again strayig to the violet clock, I was surprised to find that it had been almost an hour, and I hadn’t gotten much further. With my head in my hands, I sigh as feelings battle to be felt within my insides. After today’s argument, Myles and I had to shift our approach, and I still wasn’t sure of how to do that. He had been helping me, of course, but I still felt so lost. It doesn’t help that he’s currently caught up in the partner’s meeting that Harry is also at, and Jennings who is but isn’t a partner. I still don’t get it, even though Harry explained it to me a few times. The next time he does, I’ll have to remember to ask him to dumb it down for me. 

Even after pouring over our shared notes in Google Docs, and my several law books strewn across my desk, I’m at a loss for what to do.

I wish more than anything that it was already five pm tomorrow, and that the only thing I have to think about is my date with Harry. I still don’t know what the hell to wear, or to do with my hair, or how heavy to go with my makeup. 

“Why tha long face, bug?” somebody pipes up, pulling me away from my immersive thoughts. Blinking hard, I tear my eyes away from the laptop screen and look over to the door, but I don’t lift my tired head from my propped fist. 

“I don’t know what to do for my argument.”

“Still? Why didn’t ya jus’ ask, Becks?” Harry hums with an inviting smile, pressing the door to come just shy of closing. 

I shrug my shoulders with a heavy exhale, scrolling through what I have so far, quickly realizing how embarrassing it’ll be to show him. I can’t exit out quickly enough, hearing his footsteps arrive behind me. 

“Hey, what d’ya think yer doin’?” he teases when I switch tabs, quickly feeling the weight of his hand on top of mine, dragging the mouse along. “Don’t be nervous, love, ‘m here t’ help. Always am,” he coos softly, a hand settling on my adjacent shoulder, earning me an encouraging squeeze. 

“It’s embarrassing, Harry. I’ve been sitting here for over an hour trying to figure out what to do, and I have next to nothing to show for it.”

“Relax, ‘s only yer first official case yer arguin’. Don’t be so hard on yerself, Becks. It sounds like ya need a break, bug,” he insists, sending sparks along my left arm as he rubs stripes along the skin. It’s not long before I hear a familiar laugh and slowly, Harry’s dancing figure comes into view. “Yo ‘ll tell ya what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what ya want, what ya really, really want,” he belts out, his phone blasting the song cupped in his hand. 

“Oh my God,” I sigh with an accidental laugh, my head falling into my hands. I’m too curious though, and so I peek out from behind my spread fingers to watch him sing passionately with his eyes closed while breaking out some amusing dance moves. “Please, stop,” I chuckle, but I’m sure he also hears the lie in my voice. 

“‘m not stoppin’.”

“Please, Harry. You’re going to make me die from secondhand embarrassment,” I confess into my hands, feeling brave and letting my fingers fall down to below my eyes. Mistakenly, his catch mine and they fly back up to cover my eyes, or for the most part. 

“Rebecca Ann, ‘m not stoppin’ ‘til ya come and join me.”

“Then you’re going to be there for a while,” I say with a shrug of my shoulders, certain of one thing and that’s the smile claiming my lips, and the forgotten document staring at me. I’m too preoccupied with the silly, dancing man in front of my eyes, and how somehow this makes me love him all the more. 

“Becks,” he insists, in between singing along to the song very badly. Oh no, I think as his steps near me once again. Before I know it, I’m staring into darkness as his breath tickles the back of my neck. 

“Stop,” I beg with laughs interjected among my pleas. They grow into near shouts and exclamations when his singing is accompanied by his fingers dancing across my sides, and along the slopes of my neck. “Harry!” I almost yell, and when my laughs couldn’t hurt my belly more, it all ceases. Only the singing remains and is joined by his stubbly cheek against my temple, and his arms coiled around my shoulders. “If ya wanna be my lova, ya gotta get with my friends.”

“Make it last forever, friendship never ends,” I continue for him, giggles heard at the end when his nose tickles the corner of my sensitive neck. 

“There’s me happy Becks, ‘m glad I found her ‘gain,” Harry coos, leaving a kiss on my temple before he helps me to tackle my argument. 

Five days did and didn’t feel very long when I think about it now, with his arms wrapped around me as his voice tickles my ear. Too easily, I can remember his absence over those long days, and how effortlessly they felt far longer. I barely survived with his texts and phone calls alone, and it hurts to think that if it hadn’t been for his case finishing early, I’d still be sitting here in my office all in my lonesome. 

Those thoughts are yanked away - thank God - when his voice brings me back, spewing legal mumbo jumbo that luckily nowadays I can understand, but I couldn’t have always said that. Harry makes quick work of what would be my best route to take and how I do that, and for the fiftieth time in the last two days, I couldn’t be more grateful for how easy things are coming together. I couldn’t be more thankful to have him by my side. It still feels like a dream getting to live this life now, and getting to work with him on the daily, singing Spice Girls amidst stolen cheek kisses.

One puzzle piece at a time, and there’s only one or two pieces left in this puzzle of ours.

+

The murmur of voices assaults my ears when I walk through the door, and feel my vision tugged towards the ceiling decorated with chandeliers. A song by Frank Sinatra floats around the entryway, hardly calming my overactive nerves, despite it being a favorite of my late grandpa’s. When I finally reach the host’s stand, the nerves topple out with my words, jumbling them.

“Reservation for H-Harry Styles, please,” I tell the towering, dark haired man. After a few moments tapping away on the kiosk, he grabs two menus and leads me through a maze of linen covered tables sat under the glow of the several chandeliers. 

I try to hide my disappointment when he leads me to an empty, round table, leaving with a few words about my server being with me soon. Another feeling bubbles up inside me, forcing itself to join all of the others mixed together within me. I had a feeling I was too early, I think silently as I shrug off my long pea coat to hang over my chair. Skye’s wishes of good luck and ‘lots of snogging’ float back to me, filling my sad cheeks with another wash of pink. ‘No, you aren’t driving yourself, I’m dropping you off so then you can get a ride home with him, and lay a big one on him when he walks you up,’ she had insisted, but the anxiousness years in the making is doing a good job of making me doubt myself tonight. 

My attention drifts to my phone that is silent with no new messages, but I still check our conversation. The last message was from him:

see u in half an hour for our date bug :) xxx

My thumb scrolls through our previous messages, straying to last night’s that brings a smile to my face. 

I have no idea what to wear tomorrow :/ 

meant it when i said u look beautiful in anything Becks ;) help what should i wear ? xx

I might be a little impartial to that gray suit you wore to my class lecture that one time ;) 

noted ;) i may especially love the color red on u if u wanna know 

Noted ;) Question....

shoot, love 

Skye was gonna drop me off tonight on her way to her boyfriend’s …. Would a ride home be too much to ask?

course not Becks. anytime u need a ride im here. id love to give u a ride home. perfect we can jam 2 some spice girls in the car then ;) 

I can’t wait

neither can i bug :) 

My reminiscing is interrupted when my eyes fall to my outfit of choice, tugging up the scoop neck that Skye insisted wasn’t ‘too slutty.’ Now, I’m not so sure about it, and I can’t decide if I wish he’d show up already, or if I’m not ready. Those thoughts are stolen away when the texts disappear on my phone, his smiling face claiming the screen with a jingle. 

“Hello?” I answer with a gulp, trying to hide the anxious tremble in my voice. I can’t help it, my eyes dart to my wrist, noticing it’s already 6:05 pm.

“Hi, bug. ‘m sorry but tha traffic ‘s horrendous and ‘m afraid ‘ll be late gettin’ t’ tha restaurant. E’rybody else ‘s comin’ home from work too,” Harry explains from the other side, a weird sound taking over his voice. Yeah, we’re not too good at this pretending thing anymore, are we? I can hear the nerves in his voice, probably just like he can hear them in mine. 

“Oh, it’s okay, Harry. I don’t mind at all, just be careful driving,” I respond, feeling a sense of relief at knowing where he is. I know he never would, but it squashes the tiny voice inside of me saying he wasn’t ever going to show up. 

“‘Course I will, love. Thanks fer understandin’. Reckon ‘ll be there in ten. Are ya there already?” he responds, just the sound of his voice doing wonders at calming me down. The only thing that could take it all away is a hug, one of his.

“Yeah, I just sat down.”

“Mmmm, d’ya mind scopin’ out tha menu while yer there? I won’t be too long, we can order once I get there, if that’s alright,” he asks, the sound of traffic sneaking into our phone call for a second. Then, I hear him sigh ‘finally’ and the subsequent thrum of the motor.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll see you soon then, careful driving.”

“I can’t wait t’ see you, Becks,” he hums before hanging up, leaving me sitting across from an empty chair that I can’t stop picturing him sitting in. 

This is really happening.

Finally.

+

The sound of her voice rings in my ears, and does nothing to stop the anxious shakes coursing throughout my body. Curses fall under my breath as I honk at somebody who pulls out right in front of me, making me slam on my brakes. With a sigh, I turn on my indicator before making my turn.

Pulling my keys from the ignition drenches my surroundings in silence, and reminds me of my heart beating wildly within my chest. Looking up, the decorative windows of the restaurant appear before me in shrouded light. She’s somewhere in there . . waiting for me.

Get it together, Harry. You can do this.

My eyes drift to the rear view mirror and I card my fingers through my hair until it looks decent enough. That’s as good as it’s going to get, I almost mutter while smoothing down my blazer underneath my coat. The bone chilling February night nips at my face once my feet touch the tarmac. Streetlights cast glows all around me, as well as the headlights of several cars. The thumping within my chest grows louder and faster as my feet near the door, and then the stand where a manicured man waits.

“Hi. I made a reservation unda the name ‘Harry Styles’,” I tell him, immediately casting my eyes to the tables within view, searching for her dark chocolate locks. 

“Right this way,” he replies, waving a hand to follow him and I do. He leads me past several tables, empty and occupied, and almost gets me lost in the process.

The last thing I feel is lost when my eyes finally find her.

“Thank you. I-I got it from here,” I tell him hurriedly, holding a hand out that brings us both to a halt. He walks away after a short ‘you’re welcome,’ leaving me there, right where I want to be.

I don’t remember the smile reaching my ears or my heart quieting within my chest as I watch her flip through the menu thirty feet away from me. The prettiest red dress dons her long body, falling just underneath her collarbones and draped over the curve of her shoulders. Her hair falls in dark, natural waves, almost hiding the round opal sitting above the scoop of scarlet fabric. A tingling sensation blankets my body from head to toe, and the image of Becks sitting there waiting for me is burned into my mind.

It feels like I’m meeting her again for the first time, but I’m not. This feels like a new first time, and I know it’s one I won’t ever forget, much like the very first time I laid my eyes upon her. 

It felt like a Monday. For the bloody life of me, I couldn’t remember if it was one at the moment. Is it Monday? I’m not sure, but with the way things were going today, it sure felt like one. The copier had a jam, I forgot the first lunch I’ve made in years at home, and my girlfriend had been annoying the fuck out of me this morning. To top it all off, I had applicants being interviewed today to fill the position of my personal assistant, ever since the last one bolted. She didn’t last more than two weeks, a big surprise. 

Pete had been blowing up my phone for the last ten minutes, and I finally had had enough. Without an announcement or a knock, I stride into his office, fully intent on finding out what the hell he wants. 

“I’m a little busy, if you haven’t noticed,” he retorts over the head of dark chestnut locks sat in front of him. Presumably, one of the new applicants for my personal assistant. Hmm. 

“Well, ya kept ringin’ me bloody phone, Pete. So, what tha hell d’ya want?” I insist, throwing up a hand that falls to my thigh with a loud slap. 

Suddenly, I wish the quiet little thing would turn around, and give me a look at her. Shy, she is, it seems. There she sits, tucked away into her little shell, dressed to impress in a dark dress. 

“I’m in the middle of an interview!” he exclaims, certainly making a good first impression with the applicant. It makes me wonder for the tenth time why I bother having him do the interviews, but then I remember that I don’t really give a fuck, as long as I don’t have to do them. 

“What fer, huh?” I tease, instantly getting a snappy response from Pete about it being for me, as if I didn’t already know. But, I did, and am only doing this to bother him even more. 

“Ooo, ‘s it now? Ya get me a good one? Huh, Pete?” I grin, taking a step forward as a hand in my pocket plays with the tiny, metal guitar attached to my key ring. Sticking my head out as I move forward, my eyes dance across her head, and her profile that soon comes into view. “Hullo, love. Gonna be me new one, are ya? Petey here says I can’t keep one fer tha life o’ me, so here he ‘s interviewin’ me anotha one. How’s she doin’ so far, Petey? Think she’s a winna?” I joke aloud, knowing full well the effect my words have on the both of them. 

My subsequent introduction falls from my lips after a retort from Pete, and then the stranger finally turns to look me in the eyes. I rack my brain, trying to put a name to her face from a prior conversation with Pete. Or was it going over her resume when it came in the other day? I can’t remember which, and I blame it on her captivating baby blue eyes, as well as the intoxicating smile that greets my own. Words float from her lips and grace my ears for the very first time, and I knew immediately that she was something else. 

“Hi, my name is Becky. Becky Holte.”

Little did I know how drastically she would change my life, sometimes I thought for the worse, but ultimately for the better. The better, always. I had no way of knowing at that very moment, how many times she would come to save me.

My Becks.

+

The sound of homemade ravioli filled with chicken and three kinds of cheese is almost making my mouth water. It also makes me wonder when Harry will finally be here, and habitually, my eyes lift to look for him. To my surprise, I find him standing a ways away with the sweetest smile stuck to his lips. 

“Hiya, Becks. Sorry ‘m late. Ya look . . absolutely gorgeous, by tha way,” he comments once he’s within a few steps of the table. He reaches across to squeeze my arm before sitting down across from me, a blush pinching his cheeks. 

“Thank you, Harry. I uh, like the suit you went with, you look very handsome in it. Good choice,” I return, failing to not focus on the fast thrumming deep inside of me. 

“Ya, a certain sumbody said it was their favourite on me, so I couldn’t disappoint,” he grins with a shrug, unfastening the button at his waist, exposing the satiny black button-up hidden underneath. 

“Good, I’m glad you didn’t,” I smile, sure of the warmth he can see filling my cheeks, because I can see it mirrored in his own. “I like that you kept the stubble.”

“Why thank you,” he comments, once again rubbing it with his thumb and forefinger, and like before, making me all the more jealous. “I trimmed it up a li’l bit, figured I betta.” 

“Oh, I hope you keep it. I think I prefer you with it.”

“D’ya now, Becks?” he teases with a lift of his eyebrows, his tousled curls almost tickling his forehead, but just barely. “‘ll hafta rememba that,” he smiles, and more than ever, it’s incredibly contagious. My cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling by now, but I don’t even mind. 

“The um,” I begin nervously, my eyes falling to the elegant paper menu opened in front of me. It pains me to look away from him and the sunshine emanating from his smile, but it’s not so bad when I feel his chelsea boot knock against my heel, remaining there against the back of my ankle. “Chicken ravioli sounds good, as well as the margherita pizza, and Cacio e Pepe. Lots of good choices for dessert, too.”

“Mmm, they all sound good, love. Thanks fer lookin’ fer us,” he muses aloud, head bent down to peer at the menu when I glance over to him. 

His habit returns and his bottom lip is caught between his teeth, and somehow, it makes my smile grow bigger. I didn’t think that was possible, but here I am with aching cheeks. I nudge his foot with mine and he looks up with a question on his face, soon relaxing into a sparkling smile. That effervescent look in his eyes from the other day returns, and if I hadn’t known it already, I truly could look into his eyes for the rest of eternity. The dimples haven’t left his cheeks since he arrived, and his raspberry lips beg at me from across the table. 

“Let’s give it a try then,” he remarks, closing his menu without breaking our eye contact. The words dipped in honey flow from his lips and tickle something inside me, and I want more than anything to hear another meaning in them. His foot nudging at mine in return only makes me give in to it, and so does his wink. 

Our server arrives at our table shortly, and I thank God for the champagne she pours into tall flutes, not taking the edge off fast enough. A conversation blossoms between us about his case, and then mine with Myles. 

“Ya did great by tha way. Congrats on tha win, Becks, ‘m so fookin’ proud o’ you,” Harry grins adamantly, sweetness pouring off of his words that come out with a shake of his head. 

“Thank you so much, Harry. Wait, how’d you know we won it? I was just going to tell you,” I ask with furrowed brows, and receive a measly shrug of his shoulders in return. The look on his face, as if a revelation is threatening to burst from his lips, teases at me until it abates when the server brings us waters and we order. 

“So so bloody proud o’ you t’day, Becks,” he whispers as she pulls out her notepad and a pen. Possibilities blossom within my mind after he sends me a coy wink and knocks his foot against mine again. It doesn’t leave my own throughout the rest of our time there, during our meal and the laughs we share over glasses of champagne, and a plate of Tiramisu that I somehow let him share with me.

+

“I knew it! You were there today, sitting in the gallery, weren’t you?!” I exclaim, mumbling a short ‘thank you’ when he opens the car door for me. 

“Maybe,” Harry shrugs casually, walking around the front of the car as I fall onto the leather seat. 

“Harry Styles!” I nearly shout, if it weren’t for my voice dissolving into a giggle as he slides behind the steering wheel next to me. 

“What? I had some stuff t’ do at tha courts, so I may have popped in fer a mo’,” he explains. 

“Sure,” is all I say as I pull the seat belt across my chest. 

“Hush, and play some music, bug. Here,” he insists, handing me his grey iPhone that looks normal sized in his hand, and then gigantic in mine. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to watch?”

“Coz o’ that right there, Becks. Yer nervous ‘bout it right now afta tha fact, imagine how ya woulda been if ‘d told ya I was comin’ befo’ yer argument t’day,” he returns, pressing buttons on the dash and soon, waves of hot air greet my cold body. 

“I guess you’re right.”

“‘m what? I didn’t catch that,” Harry jests, cupping his ear. A scoff flies from my lips and I playfully swat his shoulder. “Hey, watch it. ‘m drivin’.”

“You haven’t even switched gears, so shut up,” I laugh, catching the eye roll he thinks I don’t see. “I see that eye roll, Styles, you better watch it.”

“You betta watch it, Becks. Betta pick a good Spice Girls song too, ‘m payin’ attention,” he jokes, soon his fingers diving into my side. A laugh escapes me unwillingly, and yanks my eyes over to his giggling lips. 

His name leaves mine in a near shriek, and after a blink, his tickling fingers are gone and lacing between mine. The dark flecks in his sage green eyes catch under the overhead light before it turns off automatically. He gives my hand a good squeeze as his eyes melt into mine, and a zing of electricity runs up my fingers and then my arm. The smile falling into his cheeks mirrors the one that’s been glued to my lips all night, and now grows higher and higher. I return the squeeze just as he looks to his mirrors, the click of the doors locking when he shifts to Reverse. 

It almost hurts to look away, but so many other feelings and thoughts are occupying me as my eyes fall to his phone. Disbelief washes over me as his long, ringed fingers sit between mine. It only grows when he lifts our intertwined hands up and over the middle console, to sit on his warm thigh.

An uninvited wave of pain hits me when I spot familiar sad songs amongst his music library, like the familiar ‘When She Loved Me’ that could make any Toy Story fan weep within seconds of hearing it. It intensifies when my eyes run over the songs Before You Go, Wish You Were Here, Say You Won’t Let Go, and With or Without You. Chancing a glance over at him, he stares straight ahead into the dark night, and a bittersweetness greets me. I try not to let it in, and the realization that perhaps those lost seven months were hell for him too, as were those five days apart. 

“Find it? I have Spice World on there sumwhere. I know I have loads o’ shit on there, sorry,” he comments, turning his head to check his left before pulling onto the busy road. 

“Y-Yeah,” I stutter, looking back to his expansive music library spanning from the 50’s to current music. His thumb drawing circles onto my knuckles brushes some of the sadness away as I bring up the album he speaks of. 

“Bloody hell, why ya choosin’ tha sad one, Becks?” he titters, glancing over to me when we come to a stop at a light. His smile shining back at me whisks away the last drops of the sadness, but hints of it remain with me, begging to be felt. I shrug my shoulders as the beginning lyrics of ‘Too Much’ fills the car, and I only turn it up louder. “I get t’ pick tha next song, if yer playin’ sad stuff. Bloody rubbish you are at pickin’ songs,” he sighs jokingly with a shake of his head, curls tickling his ears and the nape of his neck. 

“I am not!” 

“‘Kay, brat, keep talkin’,” he snickers, earning another scoff from me that he answers with a harder laugh. I cast my eyes to the window with an exaggerated whimper, soon hearing his profuse apologies. “‘m kiddin’, Becks, bloody hell. I already know ya have a good taste in music from all o’ our talks. I like this song too, jus’ thought ya’d go fer some happy songs, seein’ tha . . occasion and e’rythin’. Hey.” 

I answer him with my eyes returning to him, finding his wink before he looks back to traffic, and with my thumb coasting back and forth across his smooth skin. I listen to the lyrics, feeling another squeeze of my hand from him before I change the song. 

“Hey, don’t change it befo’ ‘s done!” he exclaims, and I just laugh, watching his shocked lips soon do the same. 

“Then stop complaining,” I argue, catching another roll of his eyes as the car slows to a stop in front of another light. Joy buds on my lips as the surprise unfolds on his features, meanwhile his eyes crinkle, the dimples fall deeper, and his raspberry lips thin out as a smile consumes his face. 

“I knew ya were sumthin’ special,” he notes aloud with a shake of his head, a giggle emanating from his joyous smile, right before he joins me to sing along to Shania Twain’s ‘Man, I Feel Like A Woman.’ 

His fingers laced between mine continue to send my heart into overdrive as we belt out the song between contagious laughs, and then another crowd favourite, ‘You’re Still The One.’ This one gets me and sometimes throughout the song, I can’t get myself to look at him with the sincerity held in the lyrics. As well as the words that hit too close to home. 

Finally, I can’t stand it anymore, and my eyes drift over to his at the end of the song, finding that his are already on mine. “‘m so glad we made it. Look how far we’ve come, my baby,” Harry finishes with his eyes dancing upon me with that smile dripping with molasses. As if his hand squeezing mine periodically throughout the song wasn’t already making me want to cry, now I really could. I return the gesture before looking out the window, blinking back the arriving tears from my eyes as those lasting words sing inside of my head. 

Yeah, we finally made it, Harry. Belatedly, but finally.

+

“‘s been years since ‘ve been here, hasn’t changed much tho’,” Harry remarks softly, only a few steps away from my door. 

“Yeah, the inside looks bout the same too.”

“‘m sure. Maybe I could see fer meself one o’ these days,” he remarks aloud, and when my eyes drag over to his nervously, I answer him with a nod. 

“I’d like that.”

“Me too,” he coos, rubbing the pad of his thumb along the back of my hand. A shy smile nudges at the edge of my lips as he stands in front of me, my right hand still safe within his. “Well, I had a wondaful time t’night, thanks again.”

“You’re welcome, and thank you too. I had a lot of fun . . with you.”

“So did I, bug. ‘ll um, text you later then?” Harry says, clearing his throat awkwardly, his bottom lip soon returning to its nervous spot. 

“Y-yeah, sounds good,” I mumble quietly, eyes falling to my hand that he drops. The absence of his warmth against mine feels very strange now, having been holding hands for the entire drive and subsequent walk up to my apartment. 

“Night, Becks.”

“Goodnight, Harry, careful driving,” is the last thing I say before slipping behind my door, finding Skye perched on the sofa. The monotonous, forced words echo in my ears and my eyes fall to the floor, disappointment flooding every inch of me. 

“So, how’d it go?! Did you finally fucking kiss him?!” she shouts the second the door meets its frame. 

“No,” I admit between shy lips, the steps I take seeming as if they’re from somebody else’s body, not mine. The entire last five minutes feels like somebody else had lived them, not me. No, it can’t end like that. “Not yet, anyways,” I rush, ignoring my shoes I already toed off, spinning around and ripping open the door. “Harry, wait!” I exclaim, finding his surprised expression waiting in front of the lift. 

“What?” he asks, eyebrows bent into a questioning mess. 

“I-I forgot something,” I manage, the words spilling out in a heap while he closes the distance between us, stopping right in front of me. Right where I need him. 

“Forgot what, bug? Did ya forget yer shoes in me car?” he titters, the fluorescent glow overhead picking out the few blonde hairs in his stubble. 

“No . . something else,” I finally admit, taking a step when there aren’t any left. 

The dimples remain set into his cheeks while his eyes fall to my lips and mine raise to his. His facial hair is prickly and dense under the pad of my thumb, and his coveted bottom lip is warm and pillowy. The golden hue of his olive green irises fills my mind when my lips finally meet his, and at last, I find his bottom lip between my own. His sweet giggle sounds against my lips as my fingers get lost in his buttery curls. I come to echo it when his hands shock me with their coldness against my hips, pulling me closer to him. One strays to the back of my head as his lips move against mine, the word ‘finally’ repeating incessantly within my mind. His barely there beard is scratchy against my skin, contrasting to the smooth tip of his nose grazing my cheek. The cinnamon and cocoa powder from the Tiramisu cake tickles my taste buds while his spicy vanilla smell covers me like a blanket. Zings shoot across my palm pressed to his smiling cheek, his facial hair prickly against the sensitive skin. 

Not feeling like what was actually mere seconds later, air fills my lungs when we pull away at the same time, sharp inhales filling the air. Quickly, his sweet giggle joins it, and ropes one of my own in. The tip of his nose leaves trails on my cheek as his forehead falls onto mine. 

“Ya have no idea how long ‘ve waited fer that,” Harry rasps, his warm breath dancing across my lips. His own press a whisper of a kiss to mine briefly, although after that, now I’m sure it could never be long enough. 

“I think I do know,” I mumble, my hand straying to his chin where I brush the tip of my thumb against the flesh of his bottom lip. 

“‘m sorry it took us so long, bug.”

“It’s okay, we’re here now. Finally,” I tell him and he nods, the twinkle in his eye bright as can be. For the first time, I let myself melt and lose myself in the greens of his eyes. Something I have wanted to do ever since the very first time I looked into his green eyes and knew I was fucked. 

“Yes, we are. And look at you, Becks. Ya beat me t' tha first date and tha first kiss,” he smirks with a decadent laugh adorning his words. I can’t help but join him while I twirl a ringlet of his hair around the tip of my finger against the back of his neck. 

“Oh, it’s okay, Harry. You got the first hand hold, and the first Shania Twain car duet.”

A roll of his miraculous eyes accompanies his continuing laugh, “Ya, well, so did you, but I got tha more romantic one,” he insists, words welcomed by my surprised scoff. 

“Wait, you don’t find ‘Man, I Feel Like A Woman’ romantic?!” I nearly exclaim in faux disbelief, my voice softening into a giggle quickly. 

“Only when you sing it, bug,” Harry smiles, thumbing circles into the small of my back. 

“Wait, you got tha first handhold, brat. Rememba, when I visited you at yer old work that day? Bloody hell, you beat me t’ all tha good ones, Becks. No fair,” he snickers with a sigh to his words, the two contrasting the other. I suffice my response with an obligatory nod, feeling my heart just now starting to settle into a regular beat. “Becks, there’s so many things ‘ve wanted t’ say t’ you, and now, I finally can.”

“I think I know how you feel.” 

“First thing ‘ll say ‘s I get tha second date and tha second kiss,” Harry contends with a smirk held in his eyes. 

“Oh, really?” I giggle and he soon nods. He quiets the laugh beginning on my lips with his own giddy ones, my lips molding against his effortlessly. Thoughts blossom quickly within my mind, including why I waited so fucking long to kiss him. If I’d known all of these years how wonderful it feels to kiss him, I never would have waited this long. Our kisses are slow although hurried, our lips searching for the other’s desperately, and somehow perfectly. Years overdue, and it couldn’t feel any more perfect. 

“Fookin’ hell, I jus’ wanna keep kissin’ you, Becks. Dunno if I can stop,” he chuckles, brushing his nose against mine softly. Shockingly, his eyes are even more gorgeous from this view, and I didn’t think that was possible. Evidently, anything is. 

“You don’t have to,” I laugh and he shrugs his shoulders while his eyebrows mimic the expression, his giggle soon vibrating against my tingling lips. 

“We have loads o’ lost time t’ make up fer,” he notes aloud. 

“Yes, we do. A couple years, give or take.”

“Mmmhmm, yer right there, li’l one. Fook, there were so many times I wanted t’ kiss ya ova the years,” he sighs with a sad shake of his head. His dimple is soft under my fingertip, hidden under the warm brunette facial hair. 

“Then kiss me.”

Too soon, his lips leave mine after a short peck, but I press at the back of his curls and envelope his laugh with my lips. My name falls from him in a delighted whisper before one more kiss. Our laughs grow louder only to be muffled, although weakly, when a figure walks by into their nearby apartment. My face runs to the crook of his neck, my very favorite song dancing along my ears as he holds me against him. 

“Nothing to see here, sir,” I joke, and the warmth filling my insides grows at the sound of his happiness. 

“No, I rememba I got tha first handhold that night we went out fer drinks tha first time. Tha night with tha Purple Hazes and all those shots,” Harry insists from above me, and I give him the funniest look when I come out of hiding. 

“You’re still going on about that?” I ask in near disbelief, watching his curls move when he nods his head, dipping to meet my lips with his for a slow kiss. 

“I don’t want this night to end,” I hum against the strawberry color of his decadent mouth. 

“Neither do I, Becks. ‘ve been waitin’ fer it fer so long,” he agrees, the wispiness of his eyelashes ghostlike against my forehead. 

“It’s getting late, and Skye is probably dying to hear how tonight went.”

“Ya betta go and tell tha poor girl then,” he responds, pulling my eyes towards his that sit just a moment away, sending all of the sunshine in my direction. 

“That’s okay?”

“‘Course. I may or may not ring Myles on tha way home t’ tell him all ‘bout it,” he shrugs with a telling lilt to his sing-song voice. The only sound that leaves my lips is an amused laugh that he echoes, and I know that he feels the same way.

At last, I know after over two years that he feels the same way, through and through. 

“We’ll figure out sumthin’ fer this weekend t’getha, sound good?”

“Yeah, sounds great, Harry,” I agree slowly and he nods ever so slightly, leaving kisses starting from my temple and down my cheek. 

“G’night, bug.”

“Night, Harry. Drive careful,” I tell him and once again, he answers me with a nod. 

“I promise, babe.”

“Goodnight,” I almost whisper, the very last breath of the word stolen away by his lips. I wouldn’t want it any other way, I barely am able to think as his lips massage mine between his. His neck is fiery beneath my palms and I’m sure mine is likened to it underneath his fingertips, surges of electricity passing below my skin. The skin is balmy against my blushing cheek when my arms come around his middle, surprising us both with a long hug, before I pull away first. 

“Night, my Becks,” he murmurs against my lips, a shiver running down my spine when he leaves with a final squeeze to my hand. If that didn’t do it, the song flowing from his humming lips sparks memories behind my eyes, but I still can’t figure out where it’s from. But, I know that I have plenty of time to figure it out, and to get all of the kisses that I want from him. 

Fucking finally.

[diteach]

2020 in review

I was tagged by @apeironaxiomaton to look back at 2020 and pretty much to try and not hate it so much! Thank you!!

Also I’m stealing the idea of putting everything under a cut, which I have never done in my life (and probably should start doing) bc it makes things neat as heck. Almost none of these are in a particular order.

Top 5 movies I saw this year:

Volevo Nascondermi by Giorgio Diritti - this movie is REALLY good AND I have good memories tied to the protagonist for Reasons I’m gonna cry bye (a shame that I’ve only watched this other excellent movie starring Elio Germano tonight bc it should be on this list)

Emma (2020)

The King’s Speech

Spirited Away or Porco Rosso - I had watched the first before and never the second so I think the fairer choice would be Porco Rosso but I’m not entirely convinced of it

The Wolf of Wall Street - look, I simply have a weak spot for stories that are so absurd they can be nothing but real (see “the other Elio Germano movie”)

Top 5 TV shows I watched this year:

Murdoch Mysteries - it will stay engraved in the first place of EVERY chart in saecula saeculorum and NO nothing can take its place I don’t care

Peaky Blinders

Alias Grace - which I was sure was a movie? I was so shocked to discover it isn’t like was it really six hours long what the

The Queen’s Gambit

Suburra: Blood on Rome - “The series was developed by Daniele Cesarano and Barbara Petronio for Netflix, making it its first Italian-language original television series.” I’ll be honest, some bits were a little bit hmm-inducing. Not the best tv series I’ve ever seen, but it managed to be fun and easy to watch. Suspenseful even!

Top 5 Songs:

So there’s a reason why Spotify said I’m an octogenarian this year and for as much as I complain about it... it’s right... Spotify’s right. And it will only get worse, I’m afraid. All the songs are from the same playlist which was my most listened to (and is the most interesting to share imo). I swear I have listened to other, newer things as well.

Shake That Thing by The Abe Lyman’s California Orchestra

Night Hawk Blues by The Coon-Sander’s Nighthawk Original Orchestra

Where the Sweet Forget-Me-Nots Remember by Merle Johnston and His Ceco Couriers (I’ve loved these flowers since I was a kid it was so nice to find a song with them in the title!!)

Dew Dew Dewey Day by Nat Shilkret

The Panic is On by Mezz Mezzrow And His Swing Band

Top 5 Books I Read This Year:

so this is embarrassing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I “bought” an insane amount of books and read a grand total of...like...t w o. It was actually like four and some short stories (which I hated and are therefore banished from the good boy list) so I’m gonna list my silly little titles and make my silly little comments about them all. From “””””best””””” to “worst” we have:

The Adventures of a Modest Man by Robert W. Chambers - I literally cannot shut up about this book and, yes, it is the one tied to this illustration, about which I equally cannot shut up about. It’s so horrible that it makes a 360 and comes back as good, but not before hitting you with a cardboard tube for a laugh and subsequently stabbing you in the kidneys just because it can. I think we can confidently state that we are in the “I didn’t say it was good, I said I liked it” realm. I have so many questions about this book. Why was it written? Was it taking itself seriously? Was it commissioned by someone? Why is it so gay but only if you know that the author is a man? Maybe it’s a parody? Was it an experiment made by the author to test his own skill? I know jack about literature, unfortunately, so grain of salt here but it made me feel strong feels. Not that I could identify any of them if you asked, but they’re definitely there.

Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot - I’m counting this in bc what is a book if not a patchwork of silly little paragraphs anyway so yes, we have a collection of poems. Not only do I know jack about literature; as a matter of fact, I know jack about poetry as well! All I’m gonna say is: I like cute things, I like cats, the poems were cute AND about cats. I really liked it! I often find myself going back and reading again specific parts just for the delight it is to read them out loud! I also may or may not have named the cats you can adopt in Stardew Valley after some of Eliot’s cats. The movie Cats (2019) did one good thing: making me read this.

How You Can Keep Fit by Rudolph Valentino - Yes, that is correct. A book on fitness written (in English!) by silent movie superstar Rodolfo Valentino. It is less than 100 pages on real, actual exercises that the reader can replicate in the comfort of their own house with little to no equipment. With a sprinkle of old timey manly manner of speaking, a few anecdotes from the author’s childhood in ye merry Italian countryside, a dusting of precious advice against ice-cream, and a dash of genuine intrigue for these newly discovered “vitamins” everyone is talking about. Overall a fascinating read that I treasure dearly! Valentino also wrote a book of poems, which I am absolutely thrilled to read this year.

For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway - Hmm.. I have mixed feelings about this one. Whenever the original language of a book is English, I instinctively want to read it in that language. Because I can! And because that way I get to read exactly what the author wrote. If it was another language, I’d get a translation, make peace with the fact that selling my soul to acquire perfect knowledge of all things is morally questionable, and call it a day. Problem: I’m a sucker for old books. And old books I did find indeed. There were three books by Hemingway for sale, very pretty, and for an almost symbolic price too so I bought them. They are Italian translations from the late 50s and my plan was to go through one in Italian, one in English, and after that, decide in which language to read the last one. I believe it was a mistake for me to start with Italian in Hemingway’s case. He’s known for having a very, VERY peculiar style that is integral to how the novels are perceived and I feel like I've robbed myself of literal peace of mind. For as much as I found the story interesting, I could not ignore the voice in the back of my head that kept wondering “was it necessary to render it like this?”. It did make me feel feels and think thoughts, but honestly? It was partially for the wrong reasons imo. It’s one of those books you should read at least once in your life, I guess, so I’m definitely glad I did it! Surprisingly, it captured me more than I expected and trapped me into its little world. I could clearly imagine the scenes in my head, which hadn’t happened in years! I’m really excited to move on to the next two books and finally be able to say if I appreciate his style or not.

Top 5 positive things that happened to me in 2020:

Visited Rome and took a stroll around on my own (sort of) for the first time in my life. I had never seen it at night :) Right after that I celebrated my birthday and got some cute gifts, including sweets that were sent all the way from Australia!!

Managed to buy my mom a gift, which is possibly the only real Accomplishment of 2020.

Took a bizarre trip this summer (I know, guilty) and fell in love with Slovenia

Discovering I like textile arts kinda gave me hope for myself and for the future. I say kinda for I dare not think concretely of anything too positive lest it should be prematurely taken from me. I shan’t elaborate. It is what it is.

Therapy!!!

The last few months of 2020 really hit me hard whereas in the beginning nothing was too bad so it was nice to see the list growing and growing! So many tiny good things happened and it’s worth to cling onto them. I’m tagging @sonicysuchillydog, @nurmilintunen, @alfonzone and anyone else who’d like to participate!! “Tell them I sent you” lol. Guys.............if you don’t feel like going thru your 2020 feel free to ignore bc......I get it............................

[bytheangell]

hey there! if you're taking prompts, I kinda have an idea if you dont mind- basically alec is away for a few days bc he's the inquisitor, but he hides a bunch of cute little notes around the loft for magnus to find and they're basically all sappy and adorable. btw, I love your writing

Keep You Close (Read on AO3)

Magnus hates any amount of time he and Alec have to spend apart no matter what the reason, but this particular separation hurts a little more than the others. Alec has been temporarily assigned the position of Inquisitor in Alicante. Alec swore up and down that it isn’t permanent, though the Council want to make it permanent, promising Magnus that he made it very clear he isn’t going anywhere without him. 

“It’s just for a few days,” Alec reassures him, with one final, lingering kiss before he leaves. “I’ll be back before you even have a chance to miss me.” 

Magnus sighs. “I miss you already and you aren’t even gone yet,” he points out, stealing a second ‘last’ kiss while Alec rolls his eyes with a fond smile. 

“You know I wouldn’t go if it wasn’t important, right?” Alec asks. He can obviously tell Magnus’ been on edge about this trip, and this assignment, since Alec told him about it, and Magnus feels a little extra guilt over adding to the stress he knows Alec already feels. 

“Of course,” Magnus says, forcing a smile. “I’m just being dramatic. Go, I’ll be fine.” 

Magnus knows, deep down, that if Alec were to take the position full time they would make it work somehow. If it’s what Alec wants Magnus would never stand in the way of that… but that doesn’t stop him from selfishly hoping it’s as temporary as Alec says it is. 

That night, when Magnus goes into the bedroom to sleep, he finds a note on Alec’s pillow. 

Keep the bed warm for me. Love you - Alexander

Magnus is actually glad he’s alone, surprised by the strong swell of emotion he feels over the simple note. He quickly brushes away the stray tear from his eye before using a bit of magic to warm both sides of the bed as he slides under the covers that night. 

He finds another note in the morning tucked under the coffee grounds. 

Remember, caffeine isn’t a substitute for meals, no matter how many clients you need to get through today.   -Alexander

Magnus continues to find little letters, some just a few words and others entire paragraphs, from Alec throughout the week. He finds one in the bathroom (If you notice half the shampoo is missing it’s because I wanted to smell like you all week. Sorry, not sorry. -Alexander) and one in the book he’s reading (try not to fall asleep in the armchair while reading, I won’t be there to massage the knots out in the morning.  -Alexander), and it seems like every time he’s convinced he found the last one two more pop up somewhere entirely unexpected. 

Even more meaningful than the notes themselves - which Magnus is keeping, every last one, and re-reading more than once a day while Alec is away - is the fact that each one is somewhere Alec knows Magnus will be at some point. Alec knew exactly which book he’s been reading at night, which day Magnus is meeting with Cat for dinner (Alec  leaves a note with her to give to him reading, ‘You aren’t allowed to talk about me too much while I’m not there to defend myself -Alexander’), and even had the forethought to place a note under the 4th towel in the closet proclaiming ‘Four days done, you’re in the home stretch now! I promise I’m missing you more than you’re missing me, can’t wait to be back with you -Alexander’. Not back home, but back with Magnus. 

And Alec is right - Magnus isn’t missing him half as much as he could be, because each letter is a piece of him here, now, even if Alec isn’t physically there. The notes help the week go by faster, they give him something to look forward to throughout his day because, even on days five and six, there are still more of them turning up. Day six happens to be a Friday, when he and Alec usually go to a bakery nearby for coffee and fresh bagels. Magnus decides not to skip out on that habit and is rewarded when the barista hands him a folded piece of paper along with his espresso that reads ‘You have no idea how jealous I am of you right now, as I’m forcing down what is undoubtedly a sad excuse for coffee and missing our bagel date. -Alexander’ 

By the day Alec is set to return to New York Magnus finds himself counting down the hours, minutes, and seconds until his husband’s expected arrival time. He can feel Alec’s presence the moment he walks through the wards, and though Magnus has a book open in front of him he’d be lying to himself if he thought he retained anything his eyes skimmed over in an attempt to look like he isn’t sat there waiting. 

The key turns in the lock and Alec walks in, hanging up his jacket and setting his bag down by the door next to where he toes off his shoes before coming inside properly. By the time those simple tasks are done Magnus is already on his feet. 

“How was your trip?” Magnus asks, leaning in to steal a kiss before Alec has the chance to answer. He’s thrown off when Alec’s arms don’t move to wrap around him, and when he backs up he sees it’s because there’s a folded piece of paper in his hands. 

“One last note,” Alec says, and there’s a nervousness behind his words that gives Magnus pause.  

After a unanimous vote, this letter serves as an official offer of the first High Warlock of Alicante position to Magnus Bane. Should you accept the position is yours to begin at your earliest convenience. -Inquisitor Alexander Lightwood-Bane 

Magnus re-reads it before looking back up at Alec’s hopeful expression. “Is this-” 

“What the entire trip was about? Yes.” Alec beams. He’s been advocating for opening Alicante up to Downworlders for ages now, starting with an attempt to bring his idea of the NY Institute’s  Downworld Council to the Nephilim on a much larger scale. The last Magnus heard it was still under review. “Every High Warlock in attendance spoke on your behalf. The position is yours, if you want it.”

“And your ‘temporary’ title of Inquisitor?” Magnus prods. 

“Still not official. If you agree then we both move to Alicante and it’s mine to keep. If you don’t, I go back to being the Head of the Institute without a single regret.” 

Magnus searches Alec’s face as he says that and can see that he’s telling the truth - he’d take or leave his dream job so long as the end result is staying with Magnus. It takes a lot of the pressure off of the decision to know without a doubt that Alec wouldn’t hold any resentment towards whatever he decides, which means when Magnus’ gut reaction is loud and clear he knows that it’s what he wants, and not what he feels obligated to want. 

“I’ll take it,” Magnus agrees almost immediately. 

“Are you sure? You don’t have to answer now-” Alec starts, but Magnus cuts him off with a shake of his head. The chance Alec is offering him here, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime sort of opportunity and he’d be a fool to turn it down. The freelance clients he has now are fine to pass the time, but he misses the meaning and impact behind the work of a High Warlock. 

“The last time I was this sure of something was our wedding day,” Magnus says. This time when he leans in for a kiss Alec doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Magnus’ waist, pulling them both closer into the motion. 

Earlier Magnus was thinking of all the clever ways he could return the favor of Alec’s notes the next time Alec is in Alicante, but he much prefers the realization that now there’s nowhere one of them will go that the other can’t follow. 

“You’re going to change the world, Alexander, and I’m going to be by your side every step of the way.”  

[baronccorbin]

Perfect

Paring: Prompt: Reader had left Dean for good, realizing that there was not going back to him, and maybe there was certain angel right beside her just waiting for a chance to be with her, whether he realized it or not. My summaries suck. Part 1 Part 2 Word count: 3,783 Warnings: Smut, 18+

Author’s note: This are NOT new stories, i’m not writing again and i probably won’t be doing it for a looong time. I’m simply re-uploading the ones that tumblr deleted bc of the gifs they had. 

Soap and foam covered her hands as Y/N rubbed the soap bar between them, the hot water hitting her already rosy skin as she keeps rubbing herself to ‘clean’ her skin. She kept rubbing the bar along her neck, stomach and legs, trying desperately to erase the memories from a few hours before.

Trying to forget begin zapped out of her apartment by a troubled looking Castiel, trying to forget the look in Sam’s face as he begged her to talk to his brother. But most importantly; trying to forget Dean.

She didn’t remember why she kissed him, maybe his words were too painful and the only way to shut him up was with a kiss, or at least that’s what she kept repeating on her head. But in reality she wanted to show him, she wanted to let him see what he threw away, she wanted to claim him just like he had done all those nights they had spent together in the past. She wanted him to admit he was hers.

But the moment he wrapped himself around her after they were done, the moment he repeated those sweet words he always used she realized the great mistake she had made. Because there, on his arms, she found herself consumed by the sadness, the sadness of knowing that she didn’t belong in those arms, of knowing that the man beside her wasn’t the one she fell in love with.

And on that moment she realized that there was no going back to him, she couldn’t forgive and forget what he had done, how he made her feel. So she left the bed as soon as he fell asleep, quickly leaving him a note to let him know that it was over, feeling the tears running down her eyes as she dressed herself quietly. Not looking at Sam’s face as she asked Castiel to take her back to her home.

So now she found herself on her shower, the water set on high temperature as she cleaned herself from his scent, finally crying her little broken heart out. Realizing that all the rage had left her body, leaving her with an immense sadness instead.  

-

Six months later…

“Sam” Castiel called as soon as he appeared on the bunker’s library

“Jesus” he younger hunter exclaimed as he almost let the book hi was reading drop “when am I going to get used to this?” he muttered to himself as he sat straight to greet the angel of the lord standing at the other side of the table.

“I apologize if I startle you” the angel gave him a somehow apologetic smile

“It’s fine… do you need anything?”

“Yes…” the blue-eyed man looked around “where’s Dean?”

“Out” Sam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers “went to a bar… you know how it is, won’t be back until tomorrow… I hope”

“Good” the angel breathed out before sitting on the chair in front of him “I need your help”

“… Okay”

“Remember a few months ago when Dean was acting strange and putting himself in danger…” the hazel eyed hunter grunted in response “well… I need you to do the same… for Y/N”

“Is she okay?” Sam almost jumped, ready to aid Y/N if she was in any danger

“She’s… not taking it so well” the angel tilted his head trying to find the right words to explain the situation. “She’s fine, safety-wise. She has been on a few minor hunts; they went well I made sure of that. But she’s being acting so different from herself”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s been… drinking a lot, and having… sex, with an alarming number of partners, I know that is not unusual but for Y/N…”

“Oh… Wow” Sam muttered, not believing what Castiel had said. He remembered Y/N being shy and reserved, he knew she wasn’t a prude or anything, she was with Dean after all, but being with different guys… it didn’t sound like the Y/N he knew “How do you know all of this?” he gave the angel a narrowed glare

Sam could have sworn Castiel blushed a little bit before answering his question, not really looking him in the eye.

“I’ve been worried about her… She is my friend and after I left her on her apartment… she didn’t look good. So I kept going back there a few times a week, and there’s when I saw her”

“So… you want me to do an intervention or something?”

“I want you to go with me and talk to her, she lost a lot when she left Sam, she lost a home, and the only two friends she had at the moment. It’s not her fault” the angel exclaimed defensibly, making Sam look at him with shock written all over his face

“O-okay. Let’s go”

-

Y/N sighed as she parked her car in front of the little apartment she owned, the hunt had been easy but tiring, the demon gave her some pretty good punches before being killed and the only thing she wanted was a hot shower, some alcohol and her bed.

All her plans were thrown out the window when she entered her apartment though, as she heard voices coming from the living room; she tensed, taking the angel blade from her boot, ready to attract.  

But as soon as she entered the room she stopped, rolling her eyes and placing the blade inside of her boot again. Looking at the two big men sitting on her really tiny couch and discussing something on a hushed tone. She rolled her eyes before clearing her throat loudly, making them jump a little before looking at her with wide eyes.

“What’s going on?” she asked, but didn’t give the time to respond before speaking again “What are you doing here? How did you got in… you know what that’s a stupid question” she shook her head before looking at Sam and smiling a little “Hey Sammy”

Sam got up from the couch and walked the two steps towards her before wrapping his big arms around her and pressing her tightly against his chest, realizing how much he had missed her in those months he had not been able to see her.

“Can’t… Breathe!” she gasped out, feeling her lungs struggling to get air in

“Sorry” the tall man said before letting her go, a big smile on his beautiful face, showing that dimple she missed so much

“It’s okay” she smiled before turning to look at the angel, still awkwardly sitting on the couch “What about you?” she asked before walking around the coffee table to stand in front of him, she tugged his hand to ‘help’ him stand up and her arms were quickly wrapped around his waist, making him smile before slowly wrapping his arms around her as well

“Hey” she whispered against his shirt

“Hello Y/N” he smiled, making her remember about the first time they meet

-

“What do you mean with ‘An angel saved me’?” she asked looking at Dean and Sam like they had grown another head

“That’s what happened… we’ve been working with him for a few weeks, didn’t want you to meet him until we knew it was safe” Dean explained, taking a big gulp of his beer before shrugging “just if you want to meet him, though”

“He’s a freaking angel! Of course I want to meet him” she looked at him like he was crazy, making him smile a little

Dean closed his eyes to awkwardly start praying for the angel put as soon as his name left his lips, Castiel was beside Y/N, making her jump and let out a little yelp

“Apologies” the blue eyed man nodded his head towards her, apologetically. His bright blue eyes fixed intensely on her duller ones

“It’s okay” she smiled before looking at the brothers with wide eyes “you are the angel that saved Dean, right?” she asked just to make sure this wasn’t a joke or something

“Yes” was the only thing that Castiel could say before Y/N wrapped her arms around him, taking him by surprise and leaving him with no idea of what to do

“Castiel…” Dean started, laughing at the angel’s expression “this is Y/N”

“Hello Y/N” he muttered

-

A loud cough made them break the embrace to look at a really uncomfortable Sam, standing across the room

“Sorry” Y/N mumbled before getting some distance from the angel and her “so…” she rubbed the back of her neck before looking at Sam “not to be rude or anything… but, what are you doing here?”

“Castiel here…” Sam started, nodding towards the angel “is worried about you”

Y/N looked at the man on the trench coat with her brows furrowed

“Worried about what?” she tilted her head to the side, with the confused expression the angel wore all the time

“He said that you aren’t taking it so well… the break up and all” the younger Winchester started making her look at him again “he said you’ve been drinking a lot… and” he took a deep breath before finish his sentence “having a lot of casual sex” he said quickly, trying to get it all out and not repeat it again

Y/N looking at him wide-eyes, blinking a few times and letting her brain process everything. Maybe she started drinking way more than she used to when she was with them, and maybe the first month after her last encounter with Dean she wasn’t in a really good state, both physically and mentally, but she got better, she learnt to forgive him, not enough to go back to him but enough to stop hating him, she started realizing that it wasn’t her fault, that she wasn’t worthless like she thought, she healed.  Castiel had nothing to be worried about, especially…

“I’ve slept with two guys since I left the bunker six months ago” she blurted out before she could stop herself, feeling the heat on her cheeks after “I mean… yeah” she cleared her throat “I don’t know what he said or saw, but I have not been fucking around”

Sam looked at Castiel with wide eyes, feeling embarrassed of his accusations when what the angel had said was a lie

“What the fuck Cas!” he exclaimed “you told me she was a mess, you told me she had being with, and I quote, ‘an alarming number of partners’ and now here I am, making a fool of myself because what you said wasn’t true”

“You said that?” Y/N asked looking at the now blushing angel, he nodded slowly, looking everywhere but her “why?”

“You were drinking too much, Y/N” the angel started now looking at her with a pained expression “you didn’t drink before, and when I came to see you a few weeks ago you had a man here, and then I came back again and there was a different one” he looked down “I thought it was a regular thing, and I didn’t come back again, not to your house at least… but I knew this wasn’t like you and…” he took a deep breath “I didn’t like it, to think you were with some guy… it was bad enough to see you with Dean”

The room got quiet for a few minutes, letting Y/N understand Castiel’s words she was about to say something but Sam seemed to react quicker than her.

“So you brought me here because you’re jealous?” he accused, all the anger leaving his face, being replaced by… amusement? There were so many emotions on his face that Y/N had a hard time keeping up with them “that’s why you got some distance when she and Dean started dating?” realization was written all over his face, and then he looked like he was remembering something.

-

Sam and Cas were worried the second they saw Dean on the ground outside the bunker, they were coming home from a long hunt and the last thing they expect was that, especially when they saw him shaking and loud sobs left his mouth

“Dean?” the younger hunter whispered, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder “what are you doing here?” he looked around “did something happen?”

“She left” his brother grunted, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands

“Who?”

“Y/N” Dean exclaimed, standing from the ground “she left, Sam! She found out and left! She didn’t let me explain, she didn’t let me make it up to her. She left!” by the end of the sentence he was yelling, using his hands to do sings that Sam didn’t understand

“She found out what?” he asked, not having an idea of what his brother was talking about.

But Castiel was a different story, he didn’t know, of course he didn’t, but it wasn’t hard for him to take a look on Dean’s mind to know what was he talking about, an inexplicable anger boiled his blood as soon as he read Dean’s thoughts

“How could you be so stupid?!” the angel exclaimed, making the brothers look at him with wide eyes “how could you do that to her? Is that a human thing? To have everything and then throw it away?” he asked shaking his head and before Dean could say anything Castiel was gone

-

“You were in love with her” Sam blurted out after a few seconds, making Y/N look at him and then at Castiel “you are in love with her”

“This was a bad idea” Castiel said, avoiding her eyes and taking a hold of Sam’s arm

“Wait…” Y/N said but it was too late, they were gone. Leaving her confused and feeling… hopeful?  Man, I only wanted to sleep, she thought guess I am having none of that tonight

-

Y/N signed for what it felt like the 100th time on the night, using her hand to wipe the fogged mirror and look at herself. She picked the comb from the sink and ran it throw her head to de-tangle her wet hair, her mind however kept repeating Sam’s words over and over again. Is Castiel really in love with me? She kept asking herself, but shaking her head after a few minutes, realizing how ridiculous it was for her to think about an angel of the Lord being interested in anybody.

She wrapped herself with a towel before leaving the bathroom and walk through the little hall towards her bedroom, she opened the door and was about the remove the towel when she looked up to the bed, she froze instantly when he was Castiel sitting on his bed, momentarily looking at the floor but as soon as he heard her gasp he looked up, his intense gaze meeting hers.

“Y/N” he said after a few minutes of silence “I came here to apologize” he added before she could say anything “my actions were wrong and Sam also said that I could have offended you by my accusations , also I have no right to be ‘jealous’ as Sam said an-“

“Were you, though?” she asked, not letting him finish “were you jealous?” she asked again as she closed the door behind her.

“I… I suppose I was” Castiel looked down again “I had never felt anything like that before; I was not familiarized with the feeling, I felt anger every time Dean took you into his arms, I felt… envy, because he was able to kiss you or hug you and I wasn't”

“Castiel…” she started, walking closer towards him, it only took her three long steps to be in front of him

“I didn’t understand, Y/N…” he shook his head before looking up at you “I still don’t understand how he could do something so stupid, he had the most beautiful creature all for himself and yet he managed to ruin it”

Y/N felt tears forming on her eyes, her heart was beating faster with each word that left his mouth and an inexplicable wave of happiness washed over her body, she had never felt so beautiful than under Castiel’s gaze. No one had ever made her feel so special or wanted

She couldn’t find the right words to express her feelings, she knew that she would start crying the moment she’d let a few words out. So she decided that it was better if she just showed him how she felt.

She cupped his face with both hands, caressing his cheeks with the pads of her thumbs, smiling sweetly at him before lowering herself until her lips were an inch apart from his, letting him decide if he really wanted her or not.

Castiel froze for a few seconds, but when he understood what was happening he quickly acted, pressing his lips to hers and molding them slowly together, trying to savor the feeling of her plump, soft lips against his slight chap ones. Y/N smiled against his lips before removing her hands from his face, opting for wrapping them around his neck as she moved to straddle his hips.

“Too much?” she asked against his lips as he grunted

“Not enough” he answered before tilting his head to kiss her deeply, his hands resting on her hips as he brought her closer to his body, soft moans leaving her mouth when his tongue teased her bottom lip

Y/N opened her mouth, letting him taste her minty breath as his tongue danced with hers, she let herself lose on the kiss, only enjoying the feeling of her hot mouth against hers and his hands roaming the sides of her body.

Castiel moaned as she rocked herself forward, rubbing his erection with his naked core, he broke the kiss, letting her catch her breath as his lips explored the soft skin of her neck, kissing and nipping his way towards the center of her chest. He grabbed the hem of the towel and looked at her like he was asking for permission.

Y/N nodded, biting her bottom lips as she watched him remove the towel from her naked body, smiling when she heard him mutter the word ‘perfect’ under his breath as his eyes roamed her naked form, from her neck to her breasts, then he let his gaze linger for a minute on her erected nipples before looking at her stomach and lastly her core pressed against his covered cock.

He looked at her on the eyes again before repeating the word ‘perfect’ before lowering his face towards her chest, leaving a few wet kisses on the valley between her breasts, his hands roaming her back softly making her arch towards him. Castiel smiled against her skin, leaving a last kiss in the middle of her chest before moving her mouth towards one hardened nipple, blowing air on the skin to see if he could get a reaction from that.

His smile widened when she let out a soft moan, encoring him to take the nipple inside of his mouth, making her moan loudly this time as he sucked it softly, lapping the skin wet skin with his tongue

“Castiel…” she breathed out, feeling every tug of her nipple going straight to her core, making her walls clench in need

“Mmm” he hummed against her flesh, making her eyes roll back in pleasure as the vibration hit her. Y/N mewled; running her fingers through his hair and tugging his head towards her other nipple, making Castiel letting go of her with a loud ‘pop’ before giving the other the same treatment.

Once he was done with her breasts his lips returned towards hers, kissing her deeply as his hands roamed her ass, groping her cheeks softly making her moan against his lips.

“Castiel, please” she breathed out against the angel’s lips, and that was everything Castiel needed before turning her around and let her fall softly on the bed, he waved his hand to get rid of his clothes before hovering her, his hot skin pressed deliciously against hers

She quickly wrapped her legs around his waist, meaning as she felt his hardened length rubbing against her wet folds. Castiel kissed her once more, before grabbing his cock and position it against her wanting entrance

“Will you let me have you?” he asked, making her smile brightly

“You already do” she whispered and now was his turn to smile

Castiel began thrusting his hips, letting his cock enter her slowly, both of the moaning at the feeling, he kept thrusting until he was fully inside of her, stopping to let her adjust to his size. His hands roamed the sides of her body, enjoying the feeling of her curves against his palm and her hot walls around his cock. She cupped his face again and brought his lips towards hers, kissing him sloppy until she felt it was time to let him move.

Y/N nodded, letting him know it was okay for him to move. He started pulling out of her, loving the little gasps that escaped from her mouth as he began to thrust into her again. Her fingers grabbed his shoulders as she moaned loudly, feeling the tip of his cock hitting the spot within her that made her see white.

Castiel noticed, and he grabbed her legs, unwrapping them from his waist and lifting them just enough to make his cock hit the same spot every time his cock entered her.  

“Castiel” she moaned loudly when he hit the spot over and over again, her walls clenching around his cock, dragging loud grunts from the back of his throat as he felt his orgasm approaching him

Y/N used her hands to press his lower back, making his pelvis rub against her swollen clit with each one of his thrust. Castiel’s lips crashed against hers once more, kissing her hard as they both felt ready to explode.

“Y/N…” Castiel moaned as he felt her walls clenching around him, her hot cum coating his cock as she arched her back and yelled his name over and over again, he felt himself twitch inside of her before hastily join her in the orgasmic bliss, shooting his hot side deep inside of her, both looking at each other with clouded eyes and open mouths.

Castiel kept thrusting into her, softly just to get as much of her orgasm as he could before pulling his soft cock out of her, falling on the free spot on the bed. He smiled as Y/N rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him

“That was…” she started but lost her words as she looked up to him

“Perfect” he smiled down, dropping a little kiss on her nose

“Perfect”

[criminalhotch]

“Going the Distance”~An Ethan Dolan Imagine

Can you make an imagine where you’re dating Ethan and you’re like half way across the country in ur state and see the sister squad and the whole Emma and Ethan thing; and you end up like unintentionally ignoring Ethan and everyone because you’re like hurt?? And confused?? And mad?? And all of a sudden he like gets fed up and just comes to see u and and it’s all angsty

Don’t know if you taking writing ideas but I just thought of one: Y/N, Grayson, Ethan, and Emma go back to Jersey. Everyone is loving Y/N and Ethan feels like no one is like Emma. It causes a lot of problems between Ethan and Grayson bc Ethan is rude toward Y/N bc he feels it is her fault on my no one seems to like Emma. In the end, Ethan and Y/N talk everything out. Thanks! Your writing is like flawless! ❤️

A/N: Thank you to the two people who sent in these requests. It was going to be really hard to make two separate storylines so I combined them! Long distance sucks, my best friend lives 11 hours away from me and I only see him a couple times a year. This one isn’t my favorite but it matches the requests. I hope you guys like it! 

Warnings: Angst, fluff, cursing, nothing major

Word Count: 4,454

 I sat in my apartment in my home state. I was miles upon miles from my boyfriend, Ethan Dolan. We had been together a year, but the fans didn’t know. I wasn’t famous, Ethan didn’t want me to get hate because it was a long-distance relationship only making it worse. I hadn’t seen him in three months. Every time they go home to New Jersey I have a big test, so I can never go. I adore his family. I miss him more than anything. I love him I do but distance is so hard. They travel so often it makes it even harder. He does treat me so well. We call, text, snapchat, and FaceTime all of the time. He sends me things to my apartment just because he misses me but with school there’s just never a good time for us to see each other. I decided that I would Facetime him. “Facetiming Turtle Man”. It then stopped ringing meaning he declined it. Soon enough, my phone dinged with a text from him. “Filming a vid with Emma, Gray, and James. I’ll call you later, baby. Love you” it read. Emma, imagine that. No wonder everyone is shipping them. My thoughts made me that I shouldn’t respond.

 A couple of hours later I looked at my phone with two missed calls from Ethan. I had decided to take a relaxing bath and left my phone on the counter. I thought about calling him back, but I was tired. I knew that us talking would only end in a fight or with me crying, probably both. I decided it was best to just go to bed and I did just that. I threw on some sweats and one of Ethan’s shirts that I had even though it had lost his scent months ago. The next morning, I woke up at 8:02 and my first class is at 8:30. It was also a 15-minute walk from my apartment to my class. I threw my hair in a bun, kept the clothes on I wore to bed, brushed my teeth, then left. I got to my class with three minutes to spare. I decided to check my phone. Three missed calls from Grayson and 12 from Ethan. As well as four texts from Grayson and 21 texts from Ethan. Unfortunately, I had no service in this building so responding was not an option and to make it worse this class is three hours long. I guess they will just have to wait.

 Ethan’s POV (Last Night after filming)

“Has Y/N responded to you?” I asked Grayson. “No, you?” he asked. “No, and it worries me” I admitted. “She might have fallen asleep, E. You know she has her 8:30 tomorrow” he reminded me. “You’re right, I just worry, and I miss her” I sulked. “I know you do, dude,” he said patting my back. “What if she is mad at me? I don’t know what I did” I told him. “Maybe it’s not something you did but who you are with” he suggested. “Grayson, you are my brother why would she be mad at that,” I asked him with a tude. “Not me, you fucking idiot. Emma” he said. “Why would she be jealous of Emma?” I asked. “Let’s see it’s a female who sees you way more than she does. All of the fans ship you and Emma with that ugly ass ship name because they don’t know about you and Y/N, not to mention you guys are kind of flirty in our videos” he explained. “That’s just how we are, it’s not serious. I love Y/N, not Emma” I told him. “Ethan, I know that. I have to listen to you complain about it every day, but she doesn’t see you, every day. It’s hard for her too, E” he told me. “I don’t know what to do Gray” I admitted. “She’s probably just asleep. If she doesn’t respond before class tomorrow, then you can worry” he negotiated, and I nodded. “I’m going to go play Fortnite and hope I can clear these thoughts up,” I told Grayson as I headed to my room. I started my game and before I knew it the clock read 4:13 am. I decided to get into bed and try to get some sleep. I tossed and turned for hours. It’s now 8 am and I didn’t sleep a wink. I got up and walked across the house. I found Grayson working out, imagine that. “Gray she never responded to me,” I said. “Me either but why are you out of bed before noon?” he questioned. “Is it out of bed if I never fell asleep?” I asked. “E” he sighed. “My mind wouldn’t shut off, Gray. I can’t lose her. I love her” I said pulling my hair through my fingers. “Go pack. I’m going to book you a flight while you pack. Go see her. The video for Tuesday is almost done and I can finish it. We can do something in New Jersey for next Tuesday. You just go get your girl, alright?” he said. God, I love this kid. “Thanks, Gray,” I said hugging him. “You’re welcome. I am the best twin ever, now go” he demanded. I went upstairs and packed. It was pretty last minute but if I forgot anything I could have Grayson bring it to New Jersey. I walked back downstairs around 8:45. “Ok, you have a flight at 10. I have printed off all of your information. If I were you I would have Y/N come to New Jersey with us for Thanksgiving later this week. You guys can meet Emma and me there” he explained. Emma was coming to New Jersey because her parents decided on a   last-minute vacation but didn’t ask her to join so she didn’t have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, so Grayson and I invited her to come to New Jersey with us. I ate a quick bowl of cereal then had Grayson drive me to the airport. We got to LAX about 10 minutes before my plane boarded. I got to my gate as soon as boarding started. I got on the plane and before I knew it I was in the air. I was so ready to surprise her. I need it. She needs it. We need it.

Before I knew it, we had made it to the next airport. I got off and headed straight to Y/N’s house. I had her address from sending her things in the mail. I went straight there hoping that she was home. I knocked but no one ever came. I decided that I would do what any good boyfriend would do. I would wait, at her doorstep for her to arrive.

 Y/N’s POV

I decided to steal some of the school’s WiFi before I go back to my apartment. I went to the library grabbed one of the study cubicles and got to work. I had one last test before Thanksgiving break and then I was done. I was pretty confident, but it couldn’t hurt to refresh myself. I stayed in the cubicle for a couple hours just to ensure a good grade on this test. I packed up my things then took the 15-minute walk back to my apartment. I made my way up to my apartment where I saw a figure standing in front of a door. They must be waiting for maintenance, I thought. I kept walking until I realized the figure was in front of my apartment and he looked familiar. He looked like Ethan. I realized I never responded to any of them. I should do that when I get settled in. The closer I got the more I realized it was Ethan. “Ethan?” I asked. “Y/N!” he exclaimed while jumping up. We ran to each other. I dropped my backpack not caring about my laptop. I ran as fast as my feet would take me. It felt like it took forever but soon enough I was engulfed in his arms again. I buried my head into his chest. I took a deep breath trying to take everything in. Then I began crying. I pulled away from him and wiped my tears away. “Why are you crying, babe?” he asked. “I missed you so much and I am so glad you’re here” I explained. “Well, I’m here now, alright? No more tears” he said kissing my forehead. I unlocked my door then took us inside. My apartment was filled with pictures of Ethan and I. “I’m everywhere” he said. “Hey, it’s both of us and there’s some of Grayson too but when I don’t get the real thing I have to make do” I shrugged. “I know this is hard for you, it’s hard for me too” he sighed. “E?” I asked. “Yes, baby?” he said. “Why are you here?” I asked. “Well you wouldn’t answer Grayson or me, so I knew something was up. Even if you were mad at me you would respond to Grayson, at least. I was so scared something happened to you that I had to be here. Grayson found me a flight while I packed my stuff up then the next thing I knew, I was here” he explained. “I’m sorry for worrying you. After you declined my FaceTime I got upset so I took a bath then went to bed. Then I woke up late this morning, so I didn’t have time to respond before class then the building I was at didn’t have service. Then I went to the library and zoned out. I’m fine E. I didn’t mean to scare you” I sighed. “Why were you upset?” he asked. “I just missed you,” I said. “It’s more than that. You’re looking away from me which means you’re hiding something” he noticed. Damn, why did he know me so well?  I stayed silent. “It’s Emma isn’t it?” he asked, and I nodded. “Grayson was right” he sighed. “What did Grayson say?” I asked. “He said that you might be jealous of Emma because she is with me a lot and we’re friends. That there are fans shipping her and I because they don’t know about us” he said. “And you guys get awful friendly in your collabs” I mentioned. His eyes dropped, and I prepared for the worst. He had cheated.  “Y/N, baby girl, sweetheart, pumpkin, my princess. I know you are thinking the worst. You are thinking that I cheated on you but I didn’t. I would never. Emma and I are seriously just friends. You know my personality and that I’m very goofy which could be mistaken as flirty. I do not love Emma, I do not even look at Emma that way. There is only one girl I look at with all the love in my heart and that’s you” he said pulling his phone out. “Ethan, what are you doing?” I asked. “You’ll see” he smirked. A few seconds later my phone dinged. It was a notification: Ethan Dolan tagged you in a post. I shot him a look. What was he up to? I opened the app and saw a picture of Ethan and I from a few months ago. There was kind of a long caption. “Just an update on my life for you guys. Emma and I are NOT together. I am with this beautiful girl right here. Her name is Y/N and I love her with everything that I am. Not many people know that we have been together for the past year. She isn’t famous, and I was worried she wouldn’t be able to handle the hate so please treat my girl well, she has my heart. Don’t be the reason she breaks it”  

“Ethan” I smiled as tears filled my eyes. “I love you so much. I know I didn’t ask, and I just did it, but it was the only way I could prove how much I loved you” he said pulling me into him. “You’re so extra babe” I giggled. “Can we snuggle for a little bit?” he asked, and I nodded. As we laid there I began to think. “E how long are you staying?” I asked. “Well it’s Monday and Thanksgiving is Thursday. My family’s Thanksgiving is Thursday at 4 which I really want you to come. I’ll buy your ticket, I just want you there. They miss you” he admits. “You don’t have to ask me twice. I see my family all the time” I giggled. “Oh, um I should probably tell you this” he started. “Tell me what?” I asked getting upset. “So, Grayson and I felt bad. You know how soft we are, Y/N even if we don’t act like. You can’t leave someone alone on Thanksgiving, right?” he smiled trying to guilt trip me. “E, what did you guys do?” I asked. “WeinvitedEmmatoNewJerseybecauseshedidn’thaveanywhereelsetogo” he said all in one breath. “So Emma is going to be at your family Thanksgiving?” I asked. “Um, yes?” he said unsure of what my reaction would be. “Good, I can tell her to stay the fuck off my man,” I said. “Babe, she’s not after me” he pleaded. “Bullshit E. Open your eyes when you watch your videos. She is all over you! Not Grayson but you! She knows about me, right?” I asked. “Well of course. I talk about you all of the time, ask Gray” he said. “She clearly doesn’t get the hint then, Ethan” I scowled. “Babe, we only get to see each other for a few days let’s not spend it arguing” he pleaded. “E, I don’t want to fight but I haven’t seen you in months, then there’s some YouTuber I have never met all of over you, your fans ship you guys together like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. How am I supposed to feel?” I asked with tears pricking my eyes. “Y/N, don’t cry. We both know I can’t handle your tears, babe” he says softly. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore, E” I admitted even if I didn’t want to. “Y/N, I just told everyone, don’t say that” he begged. “Ethan, I have seen you maybe four or five weeks of the over 52 we have been together. This destroys me. I miss you more every day. I watch your videos to support you and Gray, obviously but so I can hear your voice and your laugh so I can see you smile. Yes, we talk all the time but college is so much plus having a famous boyfriend who lives states away. I can’t keep doing this, E. I love you, this has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t love you. I love you more than anything but loving you is killing me” I sobbed as my head fell into his chest. “Move in with Grayson and me” he suggested. “Ethan that’s crazy,” I said looking up from his chest with tear-stained cheeks. “I cannot let you go. You have made me a better person, Y/N. Not to mention, I love you. Everything I said in that Instagram post was true. You have my heart; baby girl and I can’t be without you anymore. A year is long enough” he explained. “Ethan, what about school, my family, my friends, but again most importantly school?” I asked. “UCLA?” he said in a duh tone. “I won’t get into UCLA” I shot back. “Actually, I already applied for you because I was going to ask if you wanted to move in with Gray and I after Christmas?” he smiled trying to read my reaction. “Did I get in?” I asked worriedly. “OF COURSE, YOU GOT IN. YOU ARE THE SMARTEST GIRL I KNOW” he exclaimed. “I’m mad at you” I whispered. “For what?” he asked. “Going behind my back and applying at UCLA” I explained. “Well, you should be mad at your mom too because she was the one who suggested it and told me all the information I needed that I didn’t have” he admitted. “You went through all of that just, so we could be together?” I asked, and he nodded. “Ethan Grant, you are an idiot and you’re sneaky, but I don’t know what I’d do without you” I smiled. “My parents are ok with me transferring?” I asked him. “They told me that they trust me to take care of you and that you’ll be much happier being with me then stuck here” he explained, and he was right. “Are you going to move in with us?” he asked. “I don’t know, E. It’s a lot all at once” I answered. “Take your time. You have a couple weeks before anything needs decided” he told me as I snuggled into his chest. If I wanted to be happy I knew that LA with him and Gray would be the best thing. He’s everything to me but what if we break up. I’ll have to move back home and that’s scary too. I love him, but I’m scared.

 It’s Wednesday afternoon and we’re flying to New Jersey. These past couples of days with Ethan have been so nice. I only had one class yesterday and once I was done with my test I could leave. I was back before Ethan even got up for the day. Grayson and Emma’s flight got in 10 minutes after Ethan and I’s did so we decided to wait for them. We could hear Y/Ship/N being chanted but we just decided to ignore it waiting for Gray and Emma. Soon enough their plane landed, and we were met with Grayson’s big smile and Emma being Emma. “Hey, Y/N. How are you?” Gray asked wrapping me in a hug. “Good, how was your flight?” I asked. “Not bad” he smiled then I looked at Emma. “Y/N, this is Emma. Emma, this is Y/N” Grayson said while Ethan stood there awkwardly. “Hey, E has told me a lot about you,” Emma said, and I smiled. “Yeah, you too” I lied not wanting to make her feel bad. We started walking out the airport hearing. “Why is Emma here?” “Is Emma dating Grayson then?” “Gremma” “Ethma” “Y/Ship/Name” then the farther we got the worse it got. “Emma shouldn’t even be here. Flirting with Ethan when he has a girlfriend” “Boo Emma” “Emma should go back to LA” “No one likes Emma” “Fuck you, Emma”

I looked at Ethan and he was angry. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were narrowed. I squeezed his hand trying to make him feel better, but it didn’t work. Shortly after hearing more mean things he let go of my hand and stormed in front of us. I just let him go. I waited for Emma and Grayson to catch up so I could walk with them. “Why aren’t you walking with Ethan?” he asked. “That’s a good question” I answered. “What happened?” Emma asked. “I think he got mad at all of the fans being mean to Emma. I squeezed hand trying to get him to calm down, but he just got mad and stormed off” I explained. “He’s such an ass sometimes” Grayson muttered.

We walked to the waiting area by the door, waiting for Lisa and Sean to pick us up. Ethan was outside in the cold. “E, wait inside with us” I yelled and he ignored me. “Whatever, freeze. See if I care” I yelled staying inside with Gray and Emma. “I’m sorry, he’s being like this” Grayson apologized. “it’s fine, he will get over it,” I said. “I don’t know why he is so upset. I get hate all the time, this is mild” Emma explained. “It’s Ethan, who knows” I mumbled. “My parents just pulled up,” Gray said. We put our stuff in the trunk as Ethan had already put his things up then got in the car. “I’ll sit in the back with Gray” I said and they both nodded. The whole ride back to the Dolan’s was damn near silent other than the few questions Lisa and Sean asked us. Ethan never answering any of them. Ethan shot out of the car and headed up to his room. “What’s wrong with your brother, Gray?” Lisa asked. “Honestly, I don’t know” he answered. “Y/N, do you know?” Sean asked. “Not really. Shortly after we got to the airport he got into this mood” I said, and they nodded not asking any further. I put my things in Ethan’s room. He was sat on his bed and his back to the door. I dropped my stuff off and headed back downstairs letting him make his own decisions. “He still being a pain?” Emma asked. “Yeah, he will calm down eventually. Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving, he will talk eventually about what’s bothering him” I explained.

Emma, Grayson, and I sat watching Christmas movies. We were watching Home Alone. We had already watched Elf and The Grinch. Ethan came downstairs to get a drink and didn’t say anything to anyone. He went back up to his room. “What is his deal?” Grayson asked. “I don’t know” I muttered not pushing it. “I’ll go talk to him,” Grayson said getting up from the couch and pausing the movie.

 Grayson’s POV Sometimes Ethan confuses the hell out of me. This being one of those times. I barge into his room not caring that I didn’t knock. “You could knock” he scoffed. “You could not be a dick,” I said back. “Your girlfriend is hanging out with Emma and me because you are ignoring her. For what reason Ethan? What has got you so pissed off you are ignoring everyone when it’s the day before Thanksgiving? Shouldn’t you be I don’t know, THANKFUL” I yelled at him. “Y/N is making everyone hate Emma. Look at twitter everyone is telling Emma she’s ugly and to leave us alone because they know I’m with Y/N. It’s not fair” he said. “Ok, so you are pissed at the fans but taking it out on Y/N. Do you realize how fucking stupid you sound?” I asked. “She was the one that was jealous of Emma” he shot back. “Ethan, you fucking idiot. She is your girlfriend and barely gets to see you where Emma sees you all the time. I would be jealous too” I explained to him. “I see you all of the time and she isn’t mad about you” he sassed. “I am your brother, your TWIN brother so there’s no way I am going to be able to take you from Y/N. We share our time with you, it’s different, Ethan. And if you’re too ignorant to figure that out maybe you should break up with Y/N and be with Emma if that’s what you want” I yelled. “No, it’s not. I love Y/N, but I care about Emma. I don’t want her getting hate because of Y/N and I being together. It’s not fair to Emma” he said. “Ok well, it’s not fair to any of us when you ignore us when you are mad at the fans. Tweet something and tell them to be nice to Y/N and Emma. It’s not that hard, E. You are just so damn stubborn that you don’t think about things” I said, and he sighed knowing he had fucked up. “I’m going downstairs and sending Y/N up here. You better apologize, you asshole” I said. “I will, thanks Gray,” he said. I walked to the living room and looked at Y/N. “I calmed him down, go to talk to him,” I said, and she nodded.

Y/N’s POV

I walked into Ethan’s room slowly. “I’m sorry” he started. ‘I was mad at you when I should be mad at myself. I was the one who hid you from the fans for so long now they are mad not only that I hid it but because I’m not with Emma. I blamed you for everyone being mean to Emma when it’s my fault. I guess because we argued about Emma and I’s friendship that it was an easy way to escape my guilt. I’m so sorry for being a stubborn asshole. I’m going to tweet and clear everything up. I hope you still love me” he apologized keeping his head down scared to look at me. “I do still love you Ethan, but you need to talk to me instead of getting mad about things. I don’t want people being mean to Emma, either. If you weren’t up here wallowing in self-pity you would see that I don’t really mind her” I explained to him. “I’m so sorry that I ruined Thanksgiving” he sighed pulling his hands through his hair. I grabbed his cheeks making him look at me. “You didn’t ruin anything, E. Now clear things up and you can join the rest of us downstairs,” I said kissing his forehead and running my hand through his hair. He grabbed his phone and opened the Twitter app. He tweeted, “Hey guys. We saw some of you at the airport. A lot of you had nice things to say and some didn’t. I know you are upset that I didn’t tell you about Y/N sooner. I had a good reason for that. Therefore, a lot of you thought I was with Emma. I’m sorry for the confusion. Emma is one of my best friends and Y/N is my girlfriend. I love and care for both of them in different ways so please don’t send hate to either of them. Thanks. -E”

“There hopefully things get better” he smiled. “You tried, E and that’s all that matters,” I said. “I do love you, Y/N. I don’t want Emma. I want you and I still want you to come to LA” he admitted. “I love you too, E” I smirked while leaning into his lips. Smiling into it I kiss him. Before I knew it, he had flipped us onto the bed. “Ethan” I yelled while he flipped us over.  I was lying on my back and he was hovering over me. “Are you going to move to LA and live with Gray and me?” he asked wanting an answer. “Yes, E. I’ll move to LA with you and Gray as long as you get off of me, so we can downstairs,” I said. “Fuck yeah,” he said jumping up. “You’re an idiot” I giggled. “But I’m your idiot” he winked. “Yes, I suppose you are,” I said as I shook my head as we headed back to the living room. Ethan Grant Dolan, you are an idiot, you are the most stubborn person I have ever met, but you complete me.

[hotegg]

my weird fae connection (pt 1)

ive has a weird relationship with fey my whole life, even when i didn’t believe they existed.

my earliest memory regarding faeries was when i was reeeaaallly small. baby toddler age. i had this lovely little book about faeries that had beautiful and captivating illustrations. it was a little kids book, so i imagine its contents were sweet and bedtime story-ish. yet, when i looked at it, i got such a weird feeling. kinda like... i got uncomfortable? i wasn’t sure why, though.

fast forward many years until i started my craft, so about a year and a half ago. i learn a bit about the fey/fae but only really basic stuff like don’t give them your name, don’t make deals with them unless you’re really prepared, don’t thank them, they are dangerous, ect ect

other than that, i didn’t spend too much time focusing on them because i was busy learning other things.

one day i was feeling generous and in a giving mood. i wanted to become a bit more friendly towards whatever forces or spirits resides on and around my land. so i left a very very simple offering and told them to enjoy. part of the dedication was to the fae that might’ve been around.

it was kinda a one-time thing. i didn’t leave any other offerings after that. but then, oh boy, a week or so after, i had a shit week. all of my stuff kept going missing in the most INCONVENIENT of times. sometimes the things would turn up at the end of the day, sometimes not. it was extremely frustrating and it made me real upset real fast. at the time, i just didn’t recognize that a spirit, or even the fey, was messing with me. the idea only really hit me last month out of the blue.

as i’m going about my path, learning witch stuff and doing magic, i meet a lot of amazing people online. i also got some energy readings done. from what i can remember, i’ve been told i have fey/fae energy twice now. the first time was by a friend here on tumblr just briefly starting that my energy reminds them of fae. huh, weird. it was interesting, but nothing clicked when they said that.

even after a year of practicing magick, i still didn’t learn much about faeries. in fact, i kinda avoided them. actually, i definitely avoided them. i’m not sure why. kinda like the book when i was small, i just kept getting weird vibes from fey that i didn’t wanna mess with. especially after i realized that the week of hell i had experienced might’ve been due to the fact that i didn’t give the fae more offerings when they wanted it.

now, i honestly can’t remember if this next event was before or after my friend mentioning the fae vibe in my energy. but i remember one night, definitely a handful of months ago at least, i was falling asleep. but it wasn’t... it wasn’t a normal way of me falling asleep, if that makes sense? yes, i was laying down, i was comfortable and tired and ready to rest, but my energetic being was like “nope! we want to go to the astral!!!” and it was hard for me to stop.

it felt like i was diving head first down a chute. i keep going deeper until i remember seeing an oddly blank background that had a reddish tint to it? and standing before the strange backdrop, i (blurry) saw a handful of small beings. they were short (and if i’m remembering correctly, kinda squat) and had wings, and looked like they had human bodies. other than that, i couldn’t make out the details.

they seemed really joyful and jolly. kinda like any creature dancing and singing in Shrek. to me, it was like watching the cheesiest play.

they were singing in these high pitches voices and i understood they were smiling and acting happy and whimsical. but their dancing seemed to be leading me to somewhere. they were inviting somewhere. they were trying to lure me in.

now, a couple things to mention here.

1. i trust my deep foundation of my soul to save me in odd circumstances. i feel somewhat confident that i could kinda auto-pilot around in the astral and trust my core being not to be stupid. and i trust that in dangerous or odd situations, my consciousness will awaken, like it did in the situation, and i’ll be able to try to make my way out.

2. i understand that what i was seeing could’ve been a glamour. probably was a glamour. but the question is by who? were fey trying to appear more inviting? or was some other entity trying to completely fool me by portraying something vastly, vastly different from what they truly are? who knows. i guess i will never find out. but for now, we’ll say they were faeries because they appeared that way to me.

alright. so. these little faeries things were dancing and singing and speaking to me like an overly enthusiastic tour guide. when i noticed they were moving in a way that looked like they were trying to lure me somewhere, my consciousness woke the fuck up.

the creature were saying things like “come on! join us! it’ll be fun!” all that kinda bs.

and i kept yelling and trying to pull away from this... deceptive force that was trying to bring me in. i just kept yelling “no! i don’t want to!” over and over again, louder and louder, until i woke up with a jolt.

........ 🤷🏻‍♀️

so! after that!!! REALLY avoided fae.

fast forward to now. maybe last week or this week? i get an energy reading done by a blog on tumblr i’ve never interacted with before.

they mention that i’m connected to fae. not that my energy reminds them of fae, but that i’m connected somehow. weird.

still not sure how i’m connected to them, but once i read that, something seemed to lock into place? like some sort of subconscious meaning clicking that i couldn’t grasp yet. and ever since, my relationship with fae has appeared to become weirder.

ever since the diviner told me that, shit started in my house. specifically, my things. but only when i was looking for them.

okay, cat. that’s normal. you’re forgetful, clumsy, messy, and you misplace things often.

but... it was getting to a really strange point. as if, whatever happening was intentional.

the only example i can really remember clearly (because it happened AFTER i wondered if my shit going missing again was fae) is the other morning. maybe yesterday or the before?

i was sitting on my floor in front of my mirror in my room, doing my makeup. i needed to use my toner before i did anything. i had sat down after purposefully placing my toner next to my makeup bag after taking it out of another bag.

so, i layed all my cosmetics out before me and then reached for my toner.

which wasn’t there.

????????????????????????

i sat in place for a moment with this face: 🤨

and proceeded to carefully observe my surroundings. the bottle (about the size of a shampoo container) was no where on the floor with me. nor was it in my bedsheets. or on top of my only shelf.

i went out of my room and looked in each bathroom in my house bc i know how absolutely terrible my memory is and how easy it is for me to misplace things.

it’s nowhere to be found.

i go back to my room, now kinda frustrated, and i look everywhere in my room. i lift more things up, move all my makeup, shake my sheets, i do it all. still nada.

so. i sigh. then, knowing what i had to do, i spoke aloud and said, “please, toner, reveal yourself to me.” a simple spell that is kinda reliable in my experience.

when i said those words, i silently aimed it towards any spirits that may have been around. that were most likely around.

what do you know. THREE SECONDS after the words, i don’t even look around my room. i just plop myself back in front of the mirror, ready to give up on the toner, and the damn bottle was sitting on top of my makeup.

😐

so, ever since that. this fae relationship connection thing has.... caught my attention.

the odd thing is though. this week, as my stuff is being moved around (there were multiple other instances like the toner), my possessions seemed to turn up almost immediately after i asked for them back.

which is making me think... if this is fae shenanigans, they don’t seem to be doing this out of anger. but rather as... some sort of sign to communicate with me? or confirm something that i can’t even process right now.

anyways. i’m going to continue to try to understand what is happening and why with as little direct communication to fae as possible.

does anyone have thoughts in this????

ill be sure to keep an uodated log on this fae connection journey.

OH! the whole reason i wrote this in the first place!!! lately- before the weird fae stuff started happening within the past couple weeks- i’ve noticed that i cannot let a diviner do a service for me without giving them something in return. at first, i thought i was doing it to be nice. and i am. but. i can’t help but wonder if it’s fae influenced...

update: i also remember that last night i went to bed with my retainer in and in the morning it wasn’t in my mouth and i haven’t been able to find it! that’s too weird if that’s fae influenced!

i also remember that i was trying to count something, but for some reason it was extremely hard to count up to ten and my mind and tongue felt twisted. i have no idea if they do stuff like that, but i couldn’t help but think about the fae.

[letaliabane]

Own My Heart

PAIRING: T’challa x Reader ft Black Panther Characters

GENRE: Fluff, eventual Angst

REQUEST: T'challa fic where he’s bringing the reader to see wakanda for the first time ever and she’s worried that his family and advisors and the general public won’t accept her bc she’s an outsider (is non poc okay?)

A/N: Oh god I think I liked writing this one a bit too much. Decided to split this one into two (or three!) parts as I don’t want to waffle on. And about the poc!reader aspect, and this goes for my other writings, but it seriously is up for interpretation to any viewer/reader. When people read, we all imagine different things, so I’ll leave it to the readers. But enjoy!

As the sun began to set, T’challa and I sat on the verandah, cuddling in the cozy hammock I had installed when I first bought the house. It wasn’t everyday that I got a whole two days with my boyfriend, who also happened to be a King with a long list of duties to fulfil, so I had to take every opportunity I had to spend with him. 

T’challa ran his fingertips through my hair gently as I laid my head on his chest, sighing in content. He chuckled at this. ‘Comfortable?’ 

‘Very,’ I said before looking up at him as he just shook his head, placing a kiss to my lips briefly, wrapping his arms around me more tightly. 

However after a period of silence, I looked up again to see his forehead creased in thought as he stared out towards the sunset just beyond the hill. 

‘A penny for your thoughts kind sir?’ Once again T’challa chuckled, sitting up a bit taller as he finally spoke. ‘You know how I’m going back to Wakanda in a few days?’

I nod at this, also sitting up properly to face him before he took my hands into his, placing with my fingertips gently, ‘T’challa whats wrong?’

‘Nothing at all, it’s just-I wanted to ask if you would like to join me when I return to Wakanda.’ I sat in shock at this, my hands falling limp in his as he held them a little tighter as I fell silent, ‘Are you all right my love?’

‘Yes but-you want me to what?’ I said incredulously, finally looking up at him. He only chuckled at this, ‘I want you to come back to my home and meet my family! I mean we’ve been dating for a couple of years now, and they are getting quite curious about you and when they’ll finally meet you.’

I gulped at this. I had been worried that this situation would soon arise for conversation between us. Due to the events that had taken place in Wakanda almost a year before with T’challa’s cousin, Erik, I had been worried that the people would not take too kindly to more strangers entering its boundaries, especially the tribes. 

I most certainly did not want to upset the amazing work that T’challa had done the in past year and make things worse. 

‘Y/N?’ I looked up at him at this, sighing. ‘T’challa it is something I’ve wanted more than ever. And I really want to meet your family I really do. But do you really think it’s a wise idea that someone like me comes and visits?’

‘What do you mean? Your an incredible human being! What’s there not to love?’ He said as he caressed my cheek lovingly which I leant into. 

‘Only because you make me feel like one everyday … but that’s not the point. What I mean is that I don’t want to ruin all the hard work you’ve established in the past year,’ I pull away his hand, only to watch as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

‘The reason why you and I took such long break in between seeing each other was so you could focus on stabilising your country, its resources and its people’s safety. I mean do you rally think that they’d accept someone like me?’

T’challa smiles suddenly, almost shocking me, but he just leans down and kisses each of my hands firmly, ‘I love you for your consideration Y/N, but I would like the people, but most importantly my family to finally meet the woman I adore and treasure.’

I also smile at his words, looking away bashfully as he just chuckles at my reddening cheeks. I look back up at him before nodding with a large smile, ‘Take me on a journey your Majesty.’

It was almost a week later when I found myself in the midst of my bedroom, packing a suitcase with all my essentials for the trip the night before the day of our flight. T’challa had told me to pack light as most of the things I would need would be provided when I arrived in Wakanda. 

I looked down at the photos of my family. I had come from two simple parents who owned their own bakery throughout my life. I was an only child, but my parents were the greatest friends any child could’ve asked for. 

However they were snatched up from me during the civil war that had occurred between the Avengers due to Zemo. His bomb going off at the just in front of the UN representative building in Vienna, but also the sidewalk where my parents had been walking while on their holiday. 

I had received the news from T’challa himself, promising that he would bring vengeance upon the man who had occurred such a terror. However he returned to me a few months later, telling me that revenge was not a path that he could take, and as much as I wanted it, I knew it at that moment that it wouldn’t change anything. 

‘Oh Mum, Dad, how I miss you both so much. So much has happened since you passed. Tomorrow I will be going to the home country of T’challa. I wish you could’ve met him, he’s so kind. And yes Mum he’s a King, and yes Dad he gets in trouble with the law at times for running around in a Panther suit. But he’s more than that, he’s a kind, young man full of ambition and dreams for his people.’ 

I said as I ran my fingertips over the young faces of my parents before placing the photo in my bag, ‘He was the best thing that happened to me after you both died. His light brought me out of grief during a time I’d never see it again.’

‘And she was the best thing that ever happened to me,’ I turned at this to see T’challa leaning against the doorframe with a gentle smile before making his way over and sitting beside me. 

He took up the photo frame into his own hands, his smile widening at the sight of my parent’s photo, ‘Mr and Mrs Y/L/N, you raised such a beautiful young woman, one that captured my eye the moment I met her. She works tirelessly to help others around her, is kind to all, and loves her enemies no less than anyone else.’ 

T’challa turned his attention to me now as tears streaked down my face, wiping them away with his thumb gently, ‘Your parents would be so proud of you.’ 

I smile at his words, gripping his hand back, ‘And your father would be so proud of you for what you have accomplished. I just wish I could’ve met him to thank him for raising such a compassionate son, but I guess I can tell your Mother that.’ 

It was his turn to smile, pushing away the wisps of hair that had gotten in my face before placing a firm kiss to my lips, running his hand through my hair before placing it at my neck, keeping me in place. I pulled away slowly, caressing his cheek gently before getting back to packing. 

It was moments like this that I appreciated the time we were given alone. T’challa could read me like an open book, as could I to him, knowing when something was obviously wrong. 

But more than that, we were so comfortable in each other’s company that we could talk about anything. Any topic was allowed. And it was great! As two different people from different cultures, it helped each of us gain a greater understanding of one another as individuals, and as a couple so we could face multiple situations with a different outlook.

‘Darling?’ My eyes slid up slowly as a kiss was placed to my forehead, the blurry image of T’challa all dressed and ready swam in my view, ‘Its time to wake up now.’

The room was still cast in darkness and I knew instantly that it was still in the very early hours of the morning. T’challa had wanted us to travel early so we could reach their at least after midday. And it meant more time to rest on the flight over.

I smiled tiredly at Okoye as she greeted me with a bow, ‘Sister Y/N, it is so good to see you again.’

‘Okoye how many times have I said to call me Y/N, were friends!’ She chuckled at this, embracing me briefly before turning to T’challa, ‘Your Majesty everything is ready for our departure.’

‘Very well then Okoye, take us home,’ The King said as looked down at me with an excited smile. I was out like a light the moment my head hit T’challa’s shoulder as we took off. It was several hours later when I was gently shaken awake my T’challa once more who had a massive smile on his face now, ‘Look out the window.’

I turned my head at this, my eyes widening as we glided peacefully over a mountain to come face to face with one of the most beautiful cities I had ever seen.

I took it all in, the tall buildings glinting and sparking against the sunlight, the trains, the tiny dots of children running around what looked to be schools. It all just seemed so perfect. I looked back at T’challa in awe, ‘Its incredible!’

He chuckles at this, wrapping his arm around me as we looked back out the window together, placing his lips against her ear gently, ‘Y/N, welcome to Wakanda.’

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