#bc damn the human body can to incredible things sometimes

[this-is-a-url]

Look at their legs and try to tell me they make any sense

[txttletale]

What's worm? I can't exactly google it bcs of the name but I'm intrigued

worm (2011-2013) is a web novel about superheroes by a canadian author who goes by wildbow. it was published serially over the course of two years and in that time managed to get well over a million words long. i think it's very good for a couple reasons:

it takes an approach to 'deconstructing the superhero genre' that i don't think i've ever actually seen--instead of something like the boys or watchmen it doesn't extrapolate forwards from 'what would superheroes be like if they were real', but instead extrapolates backwards from 'what real-life conditions would have to exist to lead to superheroes acting like they do in comics'. the world of worm is believable, well-drawn, and interesting to inhabit

it has incredible character writing. this might not be one of the first things most people associate with it but wildbow has an amazing capacity for giving characters, even side characters that appear for half a chapter, extremely intriguing personal and internal conflicts. sometimes wildbow will write a chapter from the perspective of a side character you never see again and it will leave you wishing they had their own novel series. also despite a lot of problems wildbow has with Some Demographics, most of these well-developed characters are the female ones, who get to dominate the emotional landscape and the plot in a way that's refreshing to see tbh

the protagonist is great. a lot of attention is paid by some fans to the fact that she's a smart problem-solver, and that is true--her power is 'controlling bugs' in a world where other people can fly and shoot lasers, so she has to get smart with it. but i like her mostly because she's an extremely traumatised freak making horrible decisions and justifying them to herself post-hoc constantly. it's fun and interesting to be in her head

worm gets away from a lot of the more reactionary undertones that the superhero genre often fails to escape by making powers an in-universe result of (and, on a narrative level, a pretty clear metaphor) trauma. they are essentially coping mechanisms exaggerated to the point of superpower--because of this it neatly avoids two genre pitfalls because 1. there is no 'some people are better and stronger from birth' angle and 2. it mostly takes a social view of crime--supervillains in worm aren't cartoonish forces of evil (mostly), they are people who are marginalized and desperate.

the powers are cool. this is lower down on my personal list of reasons i like worm than many people's but it's undeniable true. each character has a strictly defined powerset with certain inbuilt limitations that both work to say volumes about their personality but also make fight scenes fun and interesting to read because wildbow puts a lot of thought into how they interact

this is not intentional and worm is at times downright homophobic but i would be lying if i said this didn't play a part in how i and most people i know think about worm: a queer reading of the main character is very easy to make, and the intense and at times tempestuous relationship she has to the girls around her is damn compelling. don't go into it expecting 'representation' or anything, wildbow has insisted at length that the main character is straight. but fr shes gay af

now all this said: there's a lot of nasty stuff that happens in worm. there is a lot of body horror and a lot of insect horror. there are so many instances of bugs being forced into human orifices in this book i could have filled out this list with that instead. so if that turns you off give this one a miss. child abuse and violence against children in general is also something that comes up semi-regularly.

and to expand on something i said in the post that i assumed prompted this question--when these topics come up, worm does a very very poor job of handling race and a better but still not great job with gender and sexuality. the world outside north america is sketched with a looseness and a lack of research that borders on caricature (i can think of like five organizations/characters that were very clearly named through google translate). the pacing takes a huge hit after a certain event in the back half of the story, and it can be a little exhausting to read because it is both thematically and literally about constant crisis and escalation.

still, if none of that is a dealbreaker for you, i'd recommend it 100%. i'm definitely glad i've read it. it's a powerful story about trauma and authority and control that does reward the outrageous time commitment it demands. there's also a fanmade audiobook if that sweetens the deal for you. i haven't listened to it but i've heard that it's pretty decent for a volunteer effort.

[coffeeghoulie]

Mushy May Day Ten: Mutual Pining/Staring in Adoration

Paring: Mountain/Swiss

Words: 750

Rating: Gen

Contains: Swiss being Swiss on stage, Mountain being down bad

Mushy May prompts arranged by @forlorn-crows

There’s a gif that inspired this of Prequelle Era!Swiss getting on his knees that I unfortunately could not find again but it’s been burned into my brain.

EDIT: I found the clip!!! (and immediately saved it to my phone bc i cannot lose it again lmao)

***

The new multi-ghoul is, as politely as Mountain can put it, a problem, and he’s only been Up Top for a few months. In the abbey, he’s made himself quite a reputation as a shameless flirt. Siblings and ghouls alike can’t take their eyes off of him, and Mountain is no exception. On stage, they’ve put him right next to Mountain’s drum kit, and it’s a problem.

Mountain’s not blind. The new multi-ghoul, Swiss, is as attractive as they come, and they’ve put him on backing vocals for a reason. He gets along with the new band pack well, barring the bloody fights he and Dew pick with each other. It’s incredibly easy to get him to smile or laugh, and it lights up whatever room he’s in. At first glance, he doesn’t seem like he’s going to be a problem.

However, it’s a problem when Mountain can’t take his eyes off of him during Rituals. He’s grateful that he’s rehearsed every song on the setlist forwards and back until he can play them in his sleep, that he doesn’t need to be looking at his kit when they perform, because Unholy Father, he cannot drag his eyes away from Swiss. 

The way he moves is sin, and Mountain watches out of the corner of his eye as he sways his lithe hips to the music. It’s obscene, the way he ruts against his guitar or his mic stand, the chrome of his mask flashing in the multicolored lights. 

He catches Mountain watching, sometimes. He says nothing, not willing to risk the mics catching whatever comment he might make. His eyes, glamoured a warm brown instead of their usual gold, flash with an expression Mountain might be able to make out if their masks weren’t on. Mountain lowers his gaze to the snare right in front of him until he can feel the weight of Swiss’s gaze leave the side of his head. 

Mountain’s here, Top Side, on stage, to do one thing, and to do it well. He was summoned to help Papa, or, well, in this case, the Cardinale, put on a good show. He’s not here to ogle attractive ghouls. 

He’s focusing on his drum kit when he feels Swiss’s gaze return, stronger than normal. Mountain spares a glance out of the corner of his eye and the steady rhythm of the kick drum falters for a moment as he does a double take. 

Swiss is turned away from the captive audience, his whole body turned towards him, guitar and tambourine placed on their stands. He sinks down to his knees, a singular, smooth movement, leaning back onto his feet before rocking towards Mountain. 

Every thought Mountain has leaves, vaporized, and there’s a spike of want deep in his gut. He shakes his head, hard, turning back to the crowd. Finish the damn ritual, he thinks, willing himself not to turn to his right for the rest of the evening. 

They take their final bows not twenty minutes later, and after throwing their picks and drumsticks into the roaring crowd, they slink backstage. 

As they walk back to the green room, Mountain grabs Swiss by the upper arm, directing the ghoul into a quiet alcove. Swiss goes without a fight, but with a questioning look in his eye. 

“What the hell was that about out there?” He hisses, pressing Swiss into the wall by the shoulders. “What do you want from me, edelweiss?”

The multi-ghoul grins up at Mountain, flashing blunt, human teeth. “You finally notice? I’ve been trying to get your attention for weeks.”

Mountain swallows hard, glancing up and down at Swiss’s face. His grin hasn’t faltered, but it’s not quite as smug, more delighted than anything. “You’re not pulling one on me?” Mountain asks. 

Swiss shakes his head, reaching up and taking Mountain’s face by the mask. “Can I show you what I want from you, maple?” he asks, voice surprisingly soft. 

Mountain nods, relaxing the tight grip he’s had on Swiss’s shoulders. Swiss hums, guiding Mountain’s face down to his. Their masks clink together as Swiss brings their lips together. It tastes of grease paint and the fruity vape Swiss sneaks hits from on stage. It tastes divine, and Mountain wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“Funny, that’s exactly what I wanted from you,” Mountain says as they pull away. 

“Well,” Swiss says, “Tonight’s a hotel night. You wanna spend the night with me?”

Mountain laughs. “Of course, edelweiss. I’d like nothing more.”

[redrobin-detective]

Ben, Anodites and the Omnitrix

Buckle up kids, I’ve been playing with several headcanons for the last few days and have managed to connect them all to create an overarching whole to explain several inconsistencies throughout the series. I have a big, long rant under the cut but its basically that Ben has Anodite traits in him that make him the only person able to effectively wear the Omnitrix without major consequences and is the reason the watch can’t be removed.

1. The Omnitrix cannot be removed from Ben Okay so I know this is outright disproved by canon but I thumb my nose at it. Not only does it not make sense in story but it takes tension away. In actuality, No One not Max, Ben’s parents, Azmuth or Tetrax would allow a hyperactive, untrained child to run around with the most powerful device in the universe. For Ben’s own safety if nothing else, it would have been removed even if temporarily. Ergo, once the Omnitrix strapped onto him, it became literally impossible to take off. I submit that even if someone chopped off Ben’s arm, the Omnitrix would simply reattach elsewhere. To explain Ben’s hiatus years, I just say he either covered it up and ignored it or even got an watch covering energy blocker we saw in some of the alt-Ben universes. This ups the stakes bc everyone is forced to deal with Ben as a major player, there’s no do overs as far as wielders. If he ever were to go rogue, he would not be stopped by removing the Omnitrix. 

2. Ben has Anodite heritage So again, I’m not terribly familiar with AF but I was fascinated by the idea of Ben and Gwen being a quarter energy being. It was interesting that one cousin had abilities and another didn’t. What also intrigued me was this description of Anodite species in general lifted straight from the wiki

Anodites are very free-spirited, and most don't take life as seriously as most humans, to the point that some Anodites disregard the morality of their actions and would rather satisfy their own personal pleasures. They can also be slightly condescending

I remember reading this for the first time and thinking “this doesn’t really fit Gwen’s personality but it sure as hell describes Ben.” Ben is incredibly free-spirited and lives a very energetic and spirited lifestyle. Everything he does is with his whole being and while Ben is, himself very moral and loving, sometimes his arrogance and desensitization get the better of him. Therefore, Ben is has a good bit of Anodite spirit in him. So why haven’t we seen in?

3. The Omnitrix is actively suppressing his Anodite traits and thus saving his life.

We’ve heard and seen demonstrated that one of the Omnitrix’s most basic function is to keep it’s user alive. So if it’s host’s body is actively killing itself due to mix-matched genetics then of course it will suppress it. My theory is Ben’s Anodite powers are too unstable/not suited for his human body. Wiki says Anodites absorb mana from the universe/living things, what if Ben can only absorb his own life force? A fire once lit either burns out or is put out. Activating that side of himself would kill him. That is one of the reasons the Omnitrix while designed to attach to it’s host but be removable, will never come off. Because it knows if it does, it’s host will die which goes against its base programing. Ben and the watch are stuck for life. 

4. Ben’s unique status makes him the only person capable of using the Omnitrix

But! All that energy that Ben is creating has to go somewhere! You know that iconic green glow of the Omnitrix transforming and detransforming? What if it’s not really supposed to do that. If Ben was the first and only wielder how do they know what’s normal or not. The Omnitrix is using Ben’s latent Anodite energy to fuel it’s transformations, this relieves pressure of the energy in a controlled manner, acting like a steam release on a tea kettle. But it also powers the Omnitrix.

We have seen multiple knock-off Omnitrix’s over the course of the series. The Nemetrix is one and it was a major plot point that it was draining and mind destroying to high level beings. Even Albedo’s version had it’s own complications and he struggled to manage some of the transformations. The times we see Albedo using it reliably is when he has Ben’s exact genetic signature (IE same genetic human/Anodite heritage) So why was Ben different? Not only is the Omnitrix using that energy to save Ben but it’s using it to fuel itself and not burn out it’s host. Changing your entire identity and perception of reality must be exhausting, no wonder people using the device lose their minds. Plus Anodites are beings of pure energy who are genetically predisposed to be in different bodies/have no physical form. That sounds like a good instinct for someone who regularly changes their physical form. Ben adapts astonishingly well to each new alien he receives, he’s learned how to adapt and use their abilities on the fly in the middle of a life or death battle. That is NOT something to take lightly.

So that was a very long explanation to say that while Ben and the Omnitrix becoming one was a series of unrelated coincidences coming together, he is probably one of the only ones who CAN use it. It’s the reason the Omnitrix, when it first scanned 10 year old Ben, chose him. That highly unstable Anodite energy would ensure the Omnitrix could fulfill it’s functions without damaging it’s host. 

I was absolutely fascinated in And Then There Were None/And Then There Was Ben at the implication that in every reality, Ben Tennyson ended up with the Omnitrix. The only time he didn’t was when an Omnitrix didn’t exist. Because no one else in the known universe can handle it. Poor No Watch Ben is probably gonna burn himself out from alien DNA he doesn’t even know he has unless his Azmuth can slap a watch shaped pressure reliever on him. All I can say is that the universe is damn lucky Ben Tennyson is sweet, heroic guy because if he weren’t that power - as we saw in the Bad Ben realities - would be devastating. 

[pascalpanic]

“You can call me whenever you want… Even if you don’t have a reason to.” with Javi 😩 OR marcus moreno bc I think it fits him too

Personal Number (Javier Peña x f!Reader)

Summary: You’re lonely working as the American ambassador’s secretary. You miss the days of being down with the agents as a receptionist. At least you get to talk with Javier Peña on the phone somewhat often.

W/C: 1.5k

Warnings: language, brief mentions of sexual content. this is pretty tame.

A/N: I LOVE JAVIER. can you tell?? thank you for this idea Thea!!! I love it so much and I hope you like it too. Also, can you tell I like writing phone calls? I just think it’s so fun and a medium that isn’t covered super often.

it’s definitely not because I like not having to write about body language or action.

Javier Peña was a flirt. You knew that from the start, from the stories you’d heard from the other women around the embassy. He was cute, you admitted. Tight shirts and equally slim-fitting jeans, dark hair, lean and strong. He walked with power in his stance.

You liked him. He was a nice man, respectful. He flirted with everyone, but he never went too far. Sure, he’d slept with a solid chunk of the women who worked here, but he was supposedly a wonderful lover. His methods were unorthodox in the field, but he got what he needed. He was incredibly clever, setting up traps and getting information by any means necessary. You talked occasionally, when he’d stop by because you had a message for him at the receptionist desk. He was good for conversation. He liked the cinnamon candies you kept on your desk.

The other women talked with you more than he did. You and the other women chatted, ate lunch together. The rare female presence was much appreciated in such a testosterone-laden environment. You all got along well. Even compared stories of sleeping with certain agents, how their skills at finding the clit ranked, how snuggly they were after, how receptive they were to certain acts. It was fun.

Javier was a busy man. The phone on his desk rarely rang. If someone needed someone around the embassy, they went and talked to them in person. It was an excuse to get away from your desk, people figured. You rarely used the phone too, even as a receptionist. You’d answer calls when they came, but they were usually directed other places, with specific extensions. People here were more direct.

That was before you’d been appointed as the ambassador’s secretary. It was an honor. It meant you were good at your job. You’d taken it, bragging to the other girls over lunch. Everyone was excited for you.

The job, you found out, was dry. It consists most days of making phone calls. Stechner, Ambassador wants you. Ambassador? Stechner’s here. Yep. I’ll let him in. Hi, we’ll take three orders of arepas- sorry, yes sir? Scratch that, he wants four. And can you throw in a coffee- one second, yes sir? Got it- with four creams and two sugars.

You doodle on a notepad many days. You read newspapers or reports. You proofread memos for the ambassador before he sends them off to someone important. It’s draining and dry and you have to admit you hate it.

“Peña,” a voice answers the phone.

“Hi Javier. Are you busy?” You ask.

He smiles a little as he hears your voice, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs. “When am I ever around here?” He asks, and you chuckle.

“I know the feeling.”

The two of you had talked a few times before. He was nice enough, if curt. Usually, he was busy. People only came to you when they needed something as a receptionist, and now even more so as a private secretary.

“How’s the promotion treating you?” He asks. He’d heard word as he talked with others. Noticed your spot was empty for a day or two before being replaced by another woman. He missed the little candies you kept on your desk. You always kept cinnamon disks stocked in a separate jar from the seasonal candies for him.

“It’s… good,” you nod, drawing a little fish on your notepad. “Kind of feels like a demotion sometimes. It’s boring up here. And lonely. I miss being around to talk with people.”

“We miss you,” he admits with a smile. “You still keep those cinnamon candies on your desk up there?”

You shake your head, holding the phone between your ear and your shoulder. “No. Ambassador doesn’t like them, so I switched over. I did get some new fun caramel flavored stuff though.”

“Damn,” he chuckles.

“Would it make you come up here if I had them?”

“I may have to visit the ambassador more often if you did,” he teases, and you chuckle softly. “Poor little social butterfly, cooped up on the highest floor, away from humanity.”

“I do feel like Rapunzel some days,” you sigh, still smiling. “Oh shit, I’m sorry. I was supposed to ask if you were busy for the ambassador, not for myself. He wants to see you if you have a minute.”

“Yeah, I’ve got time. Right now?”

“Right now.”

You can hear shuffling on the other end. “Let me put my signature on one more paper and I’ll be up.” He hangs up and you sigh. There was the most interaction you’ll get for the day.

-

It seems that the closer the men get to Escobar, the more the ambassador needs to see Murphy and Peña. You don’t mind. The two men are funny, and the way they interact makes you smile.

Peña talks to you more than Murphy. Steve is more likely to go outside to smoke, while Javier smokes at his desk. That means you dial him more often simply because there’s a higher probability he’s at his desk. Not because you enjoy talking with him more.

The two men had picked up on calling you Rapunzel. Your energy and excitement was draining day by day, and they compared your new position outside of the ambassador’s office, high on the top floor of the embassy, to Rapunzel’s tower.

You playfully called them Javi and Stephen in return to annoy both of them. It didn’t work on Javier. It turned out he liked that, and you could tell by the way his voice softened. So you kept that.

“Peña.”

“Guess who?” you ask dryly, tapping your pen against your notepad.

The man chuckles. “You must be having an exciting day up there. I can hear it in your voice.”

“Ha.” The word is humorless and flat. “Ambassador wants to see you two.”

Javier groans. “Kind of busy.”

“Well, I’ll tell him that,” you nod and write down on a legal pad- separate from your doodling pad- Peña busy. 11:30. “How are things going down there today?”

“Annoying. Steve is a pain in my ass- hey, shut the fuck up,” you can hear him say even as he removes the receiver away from his phone. You giggle at that, smiling as he speaks again. “Sorry. Can you guess who that was?”

“What was he saying this time?” You ask, twirling the cord to the phone around your finger.

“Nothing,” he insists, but you can hear Murphy shouting. Some message he’s trying to get to you.

“Well, alright. Call up when you’re less busy,” you ask him and hang up.

You really want to know what Murphy was going on about. You dial his desk and he picks up. “S’this Rapunzel?” A southern accent twangs.

“Of course,” you chuckle. “What were you shouting into Javi’s phone?”

“Oh, nothing. Oh, hey, wait,” he says, pulling the phone down and pressing it to his chest. You can hear the muffled voices of the two men, but not what they’re saying. He puts it back to his ear quickly after. “Anyway, it’s nothing. We’ll call you back when we’ve got a minute to come up.”

Odd, you think, before going back to your work on your desk.

-

The phone rings again an hour later. “Ambassador’s office,” you say with a gentle lilt to your voice.

“Hey, Rapunzel,” a kind but rough voice speaks through the phone. Javi.

“Hey,” you chuckle a little. “You guys ready to come up?”

“Uh, no, not yet. But I do want you to write something down for me.”

“Anything,” you nod, priming your pen above the piece of paper.

Javier rattles off ten numbers, and you diligently write them down on the paper. You repeat it back and he affirms that it’s correct. “Got it. What is it?”

“It’s my personal phone number.”

“Javi, the ambassador already has your phone number.”

“No, I know. It’s for you.”

Oh. Your heart flutters excitedly in your chest, causing you to let out a soft giggle.

“I like talking with you. Our phone calls are the highlight of my day. You can call me whenever you want… even if you don’t have a reason to. I just… like hearing your voice. I like you.”

You clutch the paper, grinning ear to ear. “Well, I like you too, Javi. I’ll be using this,” you assure him, looking down at it and beaming. “Now, you said you’re busy. Get back to work.”

“Yes ma’am. See you in a bit.”

Click. Dial tone. Your heart fills with sparks and little fireworks, sending you into a loud laugh of excitement.

The thick oak doors swing open. The ambassador looks at you with concern. “Everything alright out here?” He asks you.

You nod, biting your lip and looking down to hide your grin. “Yeah, yeah. Great, sir. Peña and Murphy aren’t ready yet. They’ll be up later.”

The man gives you a nod and closes the door behind him.

The grin returns. You trace the freshly-dried ink, the nine numbers that will connect you directly to Javier at any time you want. You pull your contact book from your purse, sitting beneath your desk, flipping to a clean page.

Javier Peña, you write.

xxx-xxx-xxxx

personal number

You go back and draw a small heart next to his name.

[kyidyl]

Kyidyl Explains Bone - Part 2

(these are collected under the KyidylBones tag bc I have the sense of humor of a 13 year old boy.) 

I decided to do this today since the other part was basically like boring intro stuff and that’s not really what you showed up for.  So today’s topic is: 

Human vs. Animal

Anthropology and archaeology departments the world over are often brought random bones people find to ID whether they’re human or animal, so you might be wondering how do we know the difference? Well...it takes practice.  And, honestly, if the pieces are too small we can’t tell without microscopic analysis of the bone structure, but most of the time we can tell.  

Human bone is very unique.  Our anatomy is unique because we’re the only living members of our genus Homo and the anatomical adaptations of Homo are unique among animals.  The weird combination of big brain, walks upright, fine motor control, and used to live in trees is just...weird.  Our internal microscopic structure is different than that of any other animal. We grow differently than any other animal because our young take so long to mature and are born so helpless.  So anatomically...we’re unique if you know what to look for, but fragmentary remains are super common so you can’t do it by anatomy alone.

One piece of info that’s important.  Bone is made of two components: collagen and minerals.  Squishy bits and crunchy bits respectively.  And, yes, if you’re wondering...scientists DO sometimes remove these bits for Reasons (TM).  

Context! 

Where did you find this thing? Was it a single bone in a patch of woods in your backyard? Probably animal, but not always.  In a pit at a dig with burned animal bones? Probably not a human because people don’t toss the remains of their friends and families in with dinner.  Across cultures people treat their own dead differently than their animal dead or their food.  So if you find it with the food? 99% chance it’s animal, even at a disturbed site (tho it’s not *impossible* to find people in with animal, especially in caves, very disturbed sites, or very old sites.  With very old sites you have to get comfortable with the idea that sometimes people were food and it wasn’t even that uncommon.)

Texture! 

I’m doing this one first bc I can’t give you pictures of texture so it can go outside the cut.  That microscopic structure I mentioned and differences in bone growth all lead to a different texture in human bone.  Now, I want to preface this by saying: this varies with the age of the bone and the age of the individual and the environment in which you found it.  But human bone tends to be a bit less....greasy than animal bone.  I don’t know how else to describe this, because understanding the difference in texture is literally something you can only do by handling them, but I’ll do my best.  

See, animal bone found in association with humans is normally put through some kind of alteration process.  Cooking, smoking, etc.  Human bone sometimes is - after all, people cremate their dead or dry them out or mummify them or eat them all the time - but buried bone tends to be drier in texture than animal bone.  Animal bone won’t leave greasy stains or residue, but it will feel smoother - less porous.  As humans (and animals) decay, the collagen goes first and leaves behind the minerals.  This happens at different rates for different organisms in different conditions, but human bone that has been buried will have a different texture than animal bone, and it will be slightly less smooth or greasy (listen bone grease isn’t GREASE grease it’s just like a way of talking about how dried out it is. Older = less grease.  New things will leave like food grease on your fingers.). But after you’ve felt it a few times - buried human bone has a different texture than animal bone.  

Color! 

Human bone is a different color from other kinds of bone.  It’s similar, but not the same.  And! Unless it has been bleached by the sun (something I’ll touch on more when I do the damage post.), it’s not white.  Not when it has been defleshed naturally.  So halloween decorations? Yeah, all the wrong color.  Anyway, this is where we start to get into images, so I’m going to start putting things behind the cut.  

Here is an image of mixed animal bone from my own collection: 

Ooooo so many cool things in this one picture.  There’s burned bone, small bone, big bone, MgO staining, teef!, moar different burned bone...and one of the things that gets mistaken as human most often: turtle shell.  It’s the piece that’s in the top row, fourth from the right.  It looks very much like human skull when it’s fragmentary and is easy to mistake it as such.  It’s flat and the lines look like sutures (place where the bones in the skull fused, and are now the markers of separate bones.), but they don’t go all the way through.  Anyway, this is a good depiction of the wide variety of colors animal bone comes in.  The large piece in the very lower right is close to what I’d consider an average.  

Here’s an image of human femur that has been defleshed, but not buried: 

(Source)

Probably a young adult because the bone is in good condition, and the head has been fused but the suture isn’t completely grown over (obliterated).  

These are also human femurs: 

(Source)

Side note: they all probably had rickets and that center one is a juvenile, and I’ll teach you how to ID that later on.  They were found in a cave, a burial, and an archaeological site respectively.  

This is another femur: 

(Source)

Bottom is the femur, and it has a healed break in the middle.  The top is also a femur but it has....so...so...many problems.  SO MANY.  I could barely tell it’s a femur from this angle.  

Anyway, the color and texture on that front femur is what I would consider like an average color and texture for a human bone.  And it’s tan, sure, but it’s a different color tan than animal bone, especially IRL.  

In short: human bone looks different and feels different than animal bone, even before you take into consideration things like anatomy.  

Regarding anatomy, it’s...well, it’s an incredibly complex topic and I don’t know that I can really cover it appropriately here in my blog.  It mostly boils down to the impact that bipedalism has on our bodies, the impact that a big brain has on our skulls, and the impact that our manual dexterity on our fingers.  The walking thing is especially important because it changes *everything* about our anatomy.  Like...head to toe.  Everything.  

If you’re interested in human bone anatomy I have two resource recommendations for you.  First, The Human Bone Manual.  This is the one I used for school, and it’s the most useful textbook I’ve ever purchased.  I still use it all the time.  The ebook version is around $18.  Second, this app is called Essential Skeleton 4. It’s free, and it’s the most comprehensive skeletal anatomy app I’ve ever seen (and I’ve used a LOT of them.  It’s made by the same people who make essential anatomy - but EA isn’t free.).  Unfortunately, it’s iOS only and I’ve never found a decent alternative for android. :/ 

There is a lot more to telling human from animal, but my hope is that you’ll pick it up as I make the other entries into the series.  My best advice here is to develop an eye for detail.  Be like Elliot Spencer: it’s a very distinctive ___________. 

One final note on anatomy: people almost always do not realize what size bones actually are.  Human femurs are long and they’re heavy for their size.  They’re usually at least a foot or two in length (I mean...obviously...height is a factor.). The head is good and solid, and the shaft is thick with a lot of compact bone, but when the soft tissue is gone they’re hollow.  Most of the long bones are.  Foot bones are larger than most people expect. Skulls vary in size between softball-ish and volleyball-ish.  And human bone has a distinctive density which, unfortunately, you can’t learn the feel of without handling bone.  If you pick up a bone that looks right but doesn’t feel right - you know it.  I handled a human femur that felt like bird bone (bird bone is very light with a lot of spongy bone bc they fly.) because of a pathology (a non-standard but usually naturally occurring thing on the bone.  Breaks aren’t a pathology, but their regrowth can be.  Syphilis damage is a pathology because bacteria is naturally occurring, as are things like bone cancer, osteoporosis, etc.).  Other times it’s because your damned osteology prof mixed in a human-looking animal bone with the box of remains to trip you up because the differences can be real subtle and you need to learn that.  

Anyway, I think that’s it for today.  I’ll seeya tomorrow, peoples! 

[cuddlecave]

is xiphoid

oo that jump to xn post...

thinking bout the first time benr brings out gord, and their reactions to it

gord notices that the trip up is both longer and not quiiite as tight, which is interesting. when he's brought up into the mouth he's just, in *awe*. he could *lay down* in here and not even take up the whole tongue. it's huge, it's it's own goddamn room. benrs teeth are enormous, and still very sharp. he just lays on the tongue after being coughed up for a moment, taking it all in. benr makes a questioning noise and gord crawls out, over a line of huge teeth, into benrs cupped hands. which are also just, staggering in size. he sits down and looks at benr, and is just, stunned into silence at the utter detail of the aliens face, the colors in his eyes, the microexpressions becoming obvious. it's incredible

as for benr,, when he brings gord up his throat he notices how fucking *easy* it is, the muscles just effortlessly grabbing the human and directing him where benr wants. gord wouldnt have a damn chance, if he bothered to struggle--benr feels some warm-fuzzies at gord being gord, being trusting towards benr, even in this new situation. quickly, gord is now in his mouth, resting just on the back of the tongue. benr is going to tilt him out, he really is, but gets distracted by how *small* gord is. wouldn't even take up his whole mouth, could hold him there and no one would be able to tell from the outside. it's a bit crazy, and as gord stills and just sits there, benr realizes gord must be taking it all in too. after a moment benr makes a noise to warn gord that he's gonna tip him out, ask if he's paying attention. but gord takes it as a cue to *move*. benr freezes as he's got the novel feeling of a small body moving of its own accord in his mouth. he tries to keep his tongue from licking him, though he desperately would like to know how that feels with the size difference. something for another time. gord crawls out between his teeth and sits in his palms, and looks up at him. he's so fucking *little*, holy shit. benrs got great eyesight, can see all his details, but he's got to focus to do so, now. it's like gords been perfectly miniaturized, even tho benr logically knows that he's the one that changed size, not gord

they spend a moment looking at each other in awe. this is definitely going to change some things about how they interact.

gord sort of, later, ends up treating benrs mouth as a kind of front porch, looking out and getting fresh air while being safe. able to move around while in the mouth is new to both of them, and it's *interesting*. benr likes both the taste and movement, and gord likes the freedom of movement combined with still being safe, still only a gulp away from extreme protection. he also likes that benr seems to really like it, which is always good.

then there's the fact that just as a practical thing for size, when gord is out, he's being carried bc he wouldn't be able to keep up. benr gets really good at handling him gently, and gord gets very used to being manhandled. not to mention the fact that if this ends, he's gonna be such a touch-starved bitch, considering that right now he's never *not* touching benr. but he's *not thinking about that*.

benr talks quieter, and gord speaks up a bit, tho he knows benrs hearing is better than his. and when they make things official...the kisses are fucking incredible, gord thinks. warm, soft, perfect. tho sometimes he still wishes for a normal kiss so he could reciprocate better.

things are so incredibly different, but not bad-different. they're both kinda glad they were forced to jump here, even if going back to normal life would be the ideal, doesn't mean this is *bad*

wholesome g/t..... good......

[animalpetcel]

Witch AU- Metropolitan Students (First Years)

With the help of Gaiaonline (and the users' extensive guides), I have been able to create representations for the cast for this au. So I'm gonna start with our main kids, giving a little info under each one.

Before we get started, a little info:

An Ultoma is the magical mark that appears when a witch users their powers. Remember the au is mostly based off of Kousuke Satake's The Witch and the Beast. It is a great manga y'all should check out

Warlock is just a witch who betrays witchkind

While they still have to fight monsters (who want to eat their souls for their magic), more often than not, The Magic Association won't send kids on too dangerous missions unless they're either really strong (like Yuuta or Maki) or incredibly specialized for a certain case. So usually they're doing less flashy things like helping people open enchanted locks or solving some magical mishap

(This doesn't mean that they aren't getting into dangerous adventures, no that still happens a lot bc they all have a knack for rocking the boat and getting themselves in trouble, only that the higher ups are way more strict about who does what within the Association)

If you read through the fics and see that some of the descriptions don't exactly match up with the images, it's because Gaiaonline can only do so much

You can read what I have so far here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2134044

First Years

Yuji Itadori

Ultoma: None, but Sukuna's ultoma (the marking on his skin) appears when Sukuna is in control. Instead, Yuji has a curse mark (representing the 20 seals in his body), which are the marks under his eyes.

Our main character everyone! He isn't truly a "witch" in this au, but a "vessel", something created for the soul (lol) purpose of containing something dangerous. In this case, he contains the soul of the Warlock of Malevolence, The Double-Faced Sukuna. Since Sukuna is so dangerous, 20 seals were placed in Yuji's body as a backup in case Yuji himself wasn't enough (which he sometimes isn't), but Yuji broke the first trying to save Megumi and things just get more chaotic from there.

He was allowed to attend a Witch Workshop (their equivalent of school), if he could help the Association track down the warlock who has possessed the body of one of the Associations 4 Great Witches (like basically the best performing/crazy powerful).

Megumi Fushiguro

Ultoma: An wheel with eight handles (like what's on the Mahoraga's back) that's on his forehead.

The Shadow Witch on the run from his Zen'in heritage! In this au, witches inherit the memories (and sometimes personalities and preferences) of their predecessors, which is why they all master magic pretty quickly. It's also why most clan witches are all pretty similar and devoted towards carrying on the wishes of the very first witch of each clan, which those resembling them the most being made the clan head and forced to carry on the burden.

In the Zen'ins case, it's to keep the Beast Demon Mahoraga sealed within the Shadow Witch's heart for all eternity. They were in a tight spot before Megumi was born bc no one else had the correct power to perfectly maintain the seal.

But Megumi kind of isn't interested in accepting his Zen'in heritage or becoming the head. He's only maintaining the seal bc he knows the world will get a lot worse if he doesn't. And also he spends like 3 days a year with the Zen'ins bc that same demon they are bound to seal also makes them transform into werewolves.

It's Gojo decision to send Megumi to save Yuji from the Association's witch hunters that gets this au started.

Nobara Kugisaki

Ultoma: A trail of roses going from her head to her arm.

The one and only Nobara Kugisaki! I originally wanted to make her the Rose Witch, but then remembered that her power has nothing to do with roses, so she's the Resonance Witch.

In this au, she grew up in the country side, which is way more superstitious and less knowledgeable of magic then those living in the city. So she and her grandmother had to be very careful with the use of any magic.

But eventually Nobara met an older girl named Saori, who unfortunately had to leave after nearly becoming a victim of a with hunt. After Saori left, Nobara made a decision that she won't remain stuck in the village that her family has remained in for centuries.

She came to the city for a roaring good time and she'll be damn sure that she gets that.

Junpei Yoshino

Ultoma: A series of blots with strings underneath his fringe.

What is this? Another first year? The Jellyfish Witch? I'm in the driver's seat now so why not?

So Junpei wasn't actually born a witch. He was a human who had the potential to be a pretty-okay mage, but a deal with a young demon morphed his soul into that of a witch before transferring his body into one that has all of the perks of a witch (immortality, bewitching blood, etc). However, things go sideways when the Association get involved (a bunch of murders were piling up), and Mahito destroys Junpei's original body, trapping him in this state.

So Junpei just trying to adapt to the witch lifestyle (he doesn't have the inherited knowledge like most, and isn't used to having his soul hunted by everyone, or fighting) while also making friends for the first time

Mimiko Hasaba

Ultoma: A pattern of a rope around her neck

Okay for her and the next two, if you're anime only you won't know who the twins are until the movie drops. This is the Hanging Witch. She the youngest of the Geto-Gojo household and is the most nervous/distrusting of humans. She and her sister where almost burned alive by them after all.

Her brother and sister are trying to get her out of her shell. Also she and Nanako are trying to help Yuji tap into Sukuna's magic so he can help save their dad.

Nanako Hasaba

Ultoma: Rope pattern trailing her fingertips

The the second Hasaba twin, the Photo Witch.. She's nosy, somehow gets in places she shouldn't and is frenemies with Nobara.

She and Megumi have an a sibling rivalry going on. Usually it was tempered by Tsumiki or their parents, but since Tsumiki is in an enchanted sleep, Getou is having a warlock joyride his body and Gojo is dealing with both teaching and the magic world wanting to revert to the Dark Ages, the only thing stopping those two from going overboard are themselves and whoever gets caught in the middle.

Nanako and Mimiko use different items as conduits for their magic because their the result of two different distant witch lines crossing. Usually it ends in disaster for the child, but they came our pretty okay. And their magic is still pretty similar; Nanako can manipulate locations and people through photos, while Mimiko can manipulate people through her dolls (also Mimiko has to kill them to release control). The similarity their magic has to Nobara is also probably why they so close to her.

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, and tomorrow I'll share my ideas for the second years! (Who have also gotten a size increase bc I wanted to not make it exactly like canon with the paint swapped)

Add suggestions if you feel like it!

[woozisnoots]

modernized pucca*!hoshi au aka hoshi is a delivery boy being clingy

° pairing: hoshi x reader ° word count: 1.1k ° genre: fluff ° warnings: foul language, mild violence ° a/n: terms with a * are explained below

masterlist!

it’s five in the morning when your alarm woke you up

and first you think what,, the fuck? why??

you did nothing to deserve this

but then you realize it’s monday fUNday

then you’re like,,, fuck i gotta gO

you live alone in small apartment downtown since you moved out of your parent’s place a couple years back

bUT just a couple of months ago your parents crashed their car into a tree

… yeah you don’t know how that happened either

nor do you think you wanna know?

so like now they don’t have a car

your lil siblings are afraid of any public transportation

and their house might as well be on a remote island bc anywhere else is too far for them to just walk

so being the a n g e l that you are, you offer to drive their parents to work in the morning AND your siblings to and from school

in exchange for money of course

bc that’s about an hour to drive to their place and you need GAS

also bc like you’re a national winning karate champ and you need new equipment

bobs* + safe guards + weapons = 5-6 digits worth of mula,, no big deal

so you drive to their place, take your parents to work, and drop off the kiddos to school, thanking the gods above that you got their just in time

you hang at your parent’s place until you have to pick up your siblings later

there’s like 8 hours to kill before you gotta pick ‘em up so you decide to train

some of your old equipment was left at your parent’s place so you decide to use those

you also greatly appreciate the fact that you left a katana in the hands of a nine year old child :)

fastforward, it’s been a couple of hours,, water is leaving your body via sweat (gross) and you’re incredibly famished

you don’t wanna use up gas so you call up a delivery from a chinese restaurant that your parents recommended

do you all see where this is going :)

you take your training outside and start working footwork and punch combinations

“you should try front punch, back punch, back fist!! that one’s always a classic!”

startled, you look over your shoulder and spot your eyes on a,,, uhhm quite,, cute boy standing just over on the other side of the fence

if it weren’t for his tiger printed cardigan

“are you the delivery boy?”

“yes ma’am :)”

“alright how much do i owe you?”

“for you? nothing but i would like to kiss you on the cheek tho” ;)

...excuse you what :)

you laugh it off and just give him a 20 and respond with “keep the change” as you take your food and started heading inside

before you could place one foot passed the door you heard him yell, “i guess i’ll see you later!!”

confused, creeped out, and slightly dare you say,, excited? to see him again?? whatever the heck he meant?

then that feeling started to dwindle once you realized that this boy has just been coming by the house to give you food

every

thirty

minutes

for the past

three

hours.

doESNT HE HAVE AN ACTUAL JOB

for the entire week, that was the routine

you wouldn’t even call for food,, he was just already there

and now you have mountains of food in the kitchen fOR NO REASON

friday came and it was time for you to pick up the kids from school and as you start to leave you see,, him coming towards the house

getting in your car as fast as you can, you yell, “I’M LEAVING PLEASE JUST LEAVE THE FOOD ON THE DOORSTEP AND NEVER. COME. BACK. maybe wait a month. THANKS.”

and off you went

,,,but there he stayed

and to makes things more incredibly weird, you’re siblings seemed to know him?? like they did this (secret) handshake and gave him hugs?

so you ask one of them how they knew this hamster looking, tiger obsessed freak?

apparently he’s always the one that delivers to their house, known to be really nice and give extra food, sometimes even invites him to play inside if it’s his last delivery

“so do you guys normally order this much food or does he just have a soft spot for you guys?”

“what the hell no!! even on our regular days, he doesn’t give this much extra food. and we’re his favorite”

well you be damned

you decide to leave it be and head back outside to clean up the equipment

out of NOWHERE,,, once again

this boi transports himself in front of you to ask for you guys to spar

,,,ahahaha what? “you’re shitting me? why would i want to do that?”

“bc i like you :)”

“…”

“if i get you to the ground, i get to kiss on the cheek. deal?”

this crazy ass motherf***** “yeah no. i don’t want to be responsible for any injuries that you might acquire after this encounter”

“bet :)”

tired of his bullshit, you dropped the boxing gloves to the floor and drove a straight front punch to catch him off guard

to your surprise, he was able to move to the outside at the 10:30*

and now he’s directly behind in which you delivered a back elbow

but ya still didn’t hit ‘em

and he’s not striking back

frustrated, you started throwing random strikes to different targets that were opened

hook punch to the kidney

uppercut the jaw

back fist to the temple

roundhouse kick to the IT band,,, THE IT BAND FFS

he dodged them all and you were getting tired

annoyance fills your body as you unintentionally throw a haymaker* aiming for the side of his head

and jUST LIKE THAT you knew the fight was already over

bc bitch you just gave him the opportunity to move in, stop your punch, and wrap your arm around

just the position for him to take you down

(insert ‘take you down’ by chris brown)

and he in fact,,, did (ya loser) with a sweep of a leg

“the names soonyoung by the way. lots of people call me hoshi tho. but you,,, can call me tiger” ;) cRIngE

before you got the chance to get up and potentially smack the cute smile plastered on his face

you see his figure bend down and plants a small kiss on your cheek

and you didn’t need the faint sound of your siblings giggling in the background to know that you face had turned bright red

pucca: a Canadian-South Korean animated tv series revolving around pucca, a girl who is in love with a ninja named garu

bobs: a punching dummy shaped like a human being (they’re all named bob... all of them)

10:30 angle: imagine looking ahead and you move forward to the 45 degree to your left :) it’s confusing i know 

haymaker: like an exaggerated hook punch,,, like the ones that high school teenagers throw in movies  

[leviaju]

obey me! hc heights / how the boys would react to you being shorter + taller than them

i recognize that the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid decision, i’ve elected to ignore it

okay peeps so here’s the thing, i am a tall. because i am a tall, i also wish for the boys to be t a l l. because i am incredibly biased. i will only give the weak excuse that it’s because they’re demons and i can do what i want, and what i want is for them to be t a l l .

annnNNYways theyre under the cut from tallest to shortest

beelzebub

i don’t think anyone’s surprised here

probably about 6’6 or 6’7 (198-201cm)

b i g b o i

he’s. tall.

credits it completely to the amount of nutrients he consumes on such a regular basis

he doesn’t care really care about your height too much in comparison to him, he loves u with the entirety of his heart either way

but

if you’re smaller than him (which u most likely are, this boy is a tree), he will no doubt find you just. the cutest. he loves leaning down to kiss the top of your head or to hug you. will definitely pick you up any chance he gets just to carry you.

he loves being able to use himself as a shield and just. hide you completely behind him, especially if your scared or nervous or anxious because of someone/something

if you’re his height or taller, he just. absolutely loves to cuddle with you. he will tangle his legs with yours and just. pretzel around you. your limbs are so long and he’s finally smaller than someone so he will revel in it as much as possible. he llloovveesss your arms and legs.

lucifer

also not a huge surprise

like?? 6’5 (196cm)

he is tall. and graceful. and beautiful. and elegant.

if you’re shorter than him, he will definitely use your head or shoulder as an arm rest. even if you’re the exact same height as him, he’ll insist your shorter and use you as an arm rest. you can’t stop him.

if your taller than him, this boy will

w o r s h i p

your legs

any intimate moment you have

he loves your thighs especially

your legs are just so long and attractive oh geEZ

other than that, he doesn’t act much differently based on your height

this clingy little shit likes you for you, simple as that

belphegor

like 6’4 (193cm)

he a tall boy like his twin (but not as tall. doesn’t get as much nutrients bc he sleep)

i don’t have much of a reason for this other than the fact that like,,,

if you’re shorter than him, he’d be trying to get comfy with you in your bed before eventually giving up because yOUR BED IS SO SMALL WHY CANT HE FIT—

he just

picks you up and brings you to his room, where his bed is huge and he can stretch out all he wants with you

alternatively

you could be the same height as beel, but belphie refuses to be little spoon. you could be ten feet tall and he’d still big spoon. he likes feeling like he’s protecting you when you sleep

also because he’s so used to cuddling with his pillows when he sleeps it just feels natural

leviathan

around 6’3.5 (192cm)

i also don’t have much reason for this other than the fact that he’s a gangly nerd

he isn’t actually a gangly nerd (but he is)

awkward with his body sometimes, like his limbs are too long for him on occasion

loves height differences

probably due to anime because one character is always shorter than the other

he will feel like a protagonist whenever he’s next to you if he’s taller than you

will lose his mind if you raise yourself onto your toes/pull him down in order to kiss him

if you’re his height or taller, honestly at first he’s gonna be a bit :/ about it bc what about his aniME HEIGHT DIFFERENCE—

but when he realizes he has feelings for you, that stops mattering

absolutely loves resting his head on your shoulder when the two of you are playing games (but he can’t do it that often, he gets too flustered and can’t think)

if you wanna win a game of smash, put your arm around him and pull him close. he will ERROR 404

mammon

6’1 (185cm)

for no other reason than i’m biased as hell

also he’s a model so i guess i can use that as an excuse—

even though he’s relatively short compared to the rest of his brothers (like beel holy shit—) he’s still really tall.

his ego will inflate tenfold if he is taller than you

even if you’re the same height, he’ll still insist you’re shorter

“here puny human, let THE great mammon reach this thing on the top shelf for you!”

“mammon i can literally reach it myself, i don’t need—“

lowkey loves it if you pull him down by his tie to kiss him

although he will be flustered for a good amount of time afterwards unless he’s in a Specific Mood

if you’re taller than him, he will very much be blushing mess

easily flustered, loves looking up at you, somehow clingier than usual

will try to do the pull-you-down-by-the-collab thing, but accidentally slam his head into your nose and never attempt it ever again

he’s mortified

asmodeus

somewhere around 5’11 or 6’0 (180-183cm)

he insists that he’s “the perfect height for any lover ;)”

he’d say that no matter what height he is though

honestly could not give less of a damn about how tall you are compared to him

he treats you the exact same

because he loves you, and that’s the only thing that matters to him, really

you could be purple and it wouldn’t change how he feels about you

satan

you can pry (relatively) short satan from my cold, dead hands

5’9 (175cm)

he’s not even too short, but he gets the shit taken out of him by his brothers all the time for being the shortest out of them

has a height complex

if you’re shorter than him he will absolutely 100% be smug about it

he is a little shit

will constantly note how tiny you are compared to him, will kiss the top of your head any chance he gets while the two of you are alone together

it’s a huge ego thing for him

if you’re taller than him, honestly he’s gonna he kinda put-off at first

not to any fault of your own, it’s because of his insecurity

kind of a “goddamnit i thought humans were supposed to be small, this is bullshit, i thought i’d finALLY BE TALLER THAN SOMEONE—“

so please don’t mention his height when the two of you hang out he gets very upset and pouty

for the first little bit at least

he warms up to you the more he gets to know you however, and his height complex really stops mattering when it comes to you

still likes to feel taller than you though

will stand above you when you’re sitting

or fix his posture when you enter the room

he’ll kiss your forehead and rest your head on his chest when the two of you are in bed

and if he’s really shaken by something, one of the only things that efficiently calms him down is you holding him

maybe having a partner that’s taller than him isn’t that bad

bonus!

diavolo - 6’6 (198cm)

simeon - 6’2 (188cm)

barbatos and solomon - 5’10 (178cm)

luke - idk how kids are supposed to be like 4’9 (145cm) ??????

[bookishable]

deathly hallows book moments

warning: this one’s a rollercoaster ride of emotions, read at your own risk.

‘the idea of a teenage dumbledore was simply odd, like trying to imagine a stupid hermione or a friendly blast-ended skrewt.’

“i don’t think you’re a waste of space.”

‘he felt like asking them to show a little more respect for his privacy as they all began stripping off with impunity, clearly much more at ease with displaying his body than they would have been with their own.’

ron: why do i have to clean my room? mrs weasley: !!! WEDDING !!! ron: theyre not getting married in my damn bedroom

“we’re coming with you. that was decided months ago—years, really.”

“if i picked up a sword right now, ron, and ran you through with it, i wouldn’t damage your soul at all.” “which would be a real comfort to me, i’m sure”

harry waking up on his birthday forgetting he was 17

“accio glasses!” although they were only around a foot away, there was something immensely satisfying about seeing them zoom towards him, at least until they poked him in the eye.

ron giving harry a book called twelve fail-safe ways to charm witches for his birthday

“i’ve learned a lot. you’d be surprised, it’s not all about wandwork, either.”

‘the rest of her speech was lost; harry had got up and hugged her. he tried to put a lot of unsaid things into the hug and perhaps she understood them’

“are you planning to follow a career in magical law, miss granger?” “no i’m not, i’m hoping to do some good in the world!”

“it’s time you learned some respect!” “it’s time you earned it”

hermione: when we were little we heard stories like snow white and cinderella ron: what’s that, an illness? harry: rip me i never got read any stories

“a brutal triple murder by the bridegroom’s mother might put a bit of a damper on the wedding.”

“merlin’s beard, what is xenophilius lovegood wearing? he looks like an omelette.” excuse me why wasn’t auntie muriel like this in the film

“he used to down an entire bottle of firewhisky, then run on to the dance floor, hoist up his robes and start pulling bunches of flowers out of his—” “yes, he sounds a real charmer”

harry suggesting that xenophilius lovegood’s deathly hallows necklace is the cross-section of the head of a crumple-horned snorkack

“vot is the point of being an international quidditch player if all the good-looking girls are taken?”

‘harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where ron could stick his wand instead.’

harry reading lily’s letter and noticing that they wrote their g’s the same way as each other, i’m sobbing

‘the letter was an incredible treasure, proof that lily potter had lived, really lived’

KREACHER’S GODDAMN TALE

kreacher hitting mundungus over the head with a saucepan “perhaps just one more, master harry, for luck?”

“if anyone shouldn’t go, it’s harry, he’s got a ten thousand galleon price on his head—” “fine, i’ll stay here, let me know if you ever defeat voldemort, won’t you?”

‘with a twinge of regret that had nothing to do with food, harry imagined the house-elf busying himself over the steak and kidney pie that harry, ron and hermione would never eat.’

‘not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, his heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that he was sleeping under the snow with them.’

the sign outside the wreckage of the potters’ house, covered with messages left for harry

the child who had the nerve to say “nice costume, mister!” to mr tom riddle the dark lord voldemort, what an icon

“after you left, she cried for a week. probably longer, only she didn’t want me to see. there were loads of nights when we never even spoke to each other. with you gone… she’s like my sister, i love her like a sister and i reckon she feels the same way about me. it’s always been like that. i thought you knew.”

“you’ve sort of made up for it tonight, getting the sword. finishing off the horcrux. saving my life.” “that makes me sound a lot cooler than i was” “stuff like that always sounds cooler than it really was, i’ve been trying to tell you that for years.”

ron single-handedly fighting off five snatchers by telling them he was stan shunpike

“he must’ve known i’d run out on you.” “no, he must’ve known you’d always want to come back.”

“i just think it’s a bit spookier if it’s midnight!” “yeah, because we really need a bit more fear in our lives”

“death’s got an invisibility cloak?” “so he can sneak up on people, sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking…”

luna decorating her bedroom ceiling with paintings of her friends (i’m not crying, you are)

POTTERWATCH

“we’re all human, aren’t we? every human life is worth the same, and worth saving.”

“i’d tell him we’re all with him in spirit, and i’d tell him to follow his instincts, which are good and nearly always right.”

hagrid throwing a ‘support harry potter’ party

“the fact remains he can move faster than severus snape confronted with shampoo when he wants to”

“no! you can have me, keep me!” this book went from making me smile to shattering my heart in around three pages

‘hermione was screaming again: the sound went through harry like physical pain.’

ron’s ‘passable imitation of wormtail’s wheezy voice’

“so young, to be fighting so many.”

‘ron said, “blimey, a baby!” as if he had never heard of such a thing before.’

‘he seemed set on course to become just as reckless a godfather to teddy lupin as sirius black had been to him.’

“he was never free, never, the night that your brother died he drank a potion that drove him out of his mind. he started screaming, pleading with someone who wasn’t there… it was torture to him, if you’d seen him then, you wouldn’t say he was free.”

“i’m going to keep going until i succeed—or i die. don’t think i don’t know how this might end. i’ve known it for years.”

“i got this one for asking her how much muggle blood she and her brother have got.” “blimey, neville, there’s a time and a place for getting a smart mouth.”

“yeah, well, food’s one of the five exceptions to gamp’s law of elemental transfiguration,” said ron, to general astonishment.

“why would harry potter try to get inside ravenclaw tower? potter belongs in my house!”

‘harry heard a little strain of pride in her voice, and affection for minerva mcgonagall gushed up inside him.’

harry using the cruciatus curse on amycus in front of mcgonagall because “he spat at you”

mcgonagall dueling snape and sending a swarm of daggers at him

“where’s professor snape?” “he has, to use the common phrase, done a bunk” minerva i love you

neville throwing mandrakes over the walls

“is this the moment? OI! there’s a war going on here!” “i know, mate, so it’s now or never, isn’t it?”

‘and percy was shaking his brother, and ron was kneeling beside them, and fred’s eyes stared without seeing, the ghost of his last laugh still etched upon his face.’

‘a herd of galloping desks thundered past, shepherded by a sprinting professor mcgonagall.’

harry stunned the death eater as they passed: malfoy looked around, beaming, for his saviour, and ron punched him from under the cloak. “and that’s the second time we’ve saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!”

trelawney using crystal balls to knock out death eaters ‘with a movement like a tennis serve’

“are you a wizard, or what?”

“you must kill me.” “would you like me to do it now? or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?”

‘this cold-blooded walk to his own destruction would require a different kind of bravery.’

‘he was tiny in death.’

‘he felt he would have given all the time remaining to him for just one last look at them; but then, would he ever have had the strength to stop looking?’

“we’re all going to keep fighting, harry. you know that?”

“i am sorry too, sorry i will never know him… but he will know why i died and i hope he will understand. i was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life.”

“until the very end”

“this is, as they say, your party.” harry had no idea what this meant; dumbledore was being infuriating.

“it is a curious thing, harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it.”

“do not pity the dead, harry. pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love.”

“of course it is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

‘the scream was the more terrible because he had never expected or dreamed that professor mcgonagall could make such a sound.’

ron breaking voldemort’s silencing charm “he beat you!”

“i’ll join you when hell freezes over, dumbledore’s army!”

harry calling voldemort tom riddle like “yes, i dare”

‘tom riddle hit the floor with a mundane finality, his body feeble and shrunken’ where please, movies?

‘mcgonagall had replaced the house tables, but nobody was sitting according to house anymore’

peeves’ song voldy’s gone mouldy

‘tears were sliding down from behind the half-moon spectacles into the long silver beard, and the pride and the gratitude emanating from him filled harry with the same balm as phoenix song.’

harry FIXING HIS DAMN WAND

“i’ve had enough trouble for a lifetime.”

“if you’re not in gryffindor, we’ll disinherit you, but no pressure.”

albus complaining that everyone is staring and ron being like “it’s me. i’m extremely famous.”

‘the scar had not pained harry for nineteen years. all was well.’

[briinstardust]

okay so here we go. We’ll just start with some baseline. bear with me here.

Evan’s ready to come back to work, he suffers a medical emergency leading him to need to go onto blood thinners, and we are not told for how long he needs to be on them.

The problem starts here, Bobby visits Buck in the hospital. and sometime after this encounter decides that Buck is not ready to be in the field. Okay. he’s on blood thinners and doesn’t need to be in the field. period.

Evan is on light duty, as the new Fire Marshall and seems to be happy doing it. Evan stops by the firehouse to drop off the report of the 118′s fire drill. While at the firehouse Evan sees Lena Bosko, and some jealousy flares inside him. From context, we’re lead to believe it’s a jealousy that she’s “taking his place”, okay. fine. We know Evan has abandonment issues. Evan see’s Lena’s made herself comfortable in Buck’s locker. Okay. I can see why Buck is feeling jealous, and see why it feels, to Buck, like his place is being filled with someone else. fine.

This is where we see the rise of the problem. Bobby, okay yes they got a call and had to leave. He could have said, to Buck, there was something important he needed to talk to him about, and told him to call him later? idk, a conversation, a something, to let Buck know he needed to talk to him.

instead what we get is Athena assuming Bobby did the thing he said he was going to do, bc why would she need to think her husband didn’t do the thing he said he was going to do.

So Buck sees this lawyer, this lawyer is a monster. This lawyer preys on Buck. (We’ll come back to this point, I promise. pt.2) We see Buck stand up for himself, and for his team, and his family. “You want to know who’s got my back? They do. They’re more than co-workers, or friends. They’re my family. There is nothing stronger than family.” Evan Buckley says these words to a lawyer who is an absolute monster.

Okay so here are the actual events that happened.

Bobby now with no choice but to confront Buck, and no longer on his own terms, blames his wife, saying “I still can’t believe that you invited him without talking to me first.” to which Athena replies, “I just wanted him to know, that no matter what, he’s still family. Thought dinner would give you two time to work things out.” Assuming Bobby told him, and didn’t want Buck to feel “Thrown aside” for lack of a better word. So when Athena calls Buck to invite him to dinner, Buck accepts, and this is all under the impression that Buck knows what happened with the Chief and everything. Athena refers to him as family. (reference above. this is a mutual feeling.) Athena is trying to build a bridge here, for Evan, to show him he is not alone, just bc he cannot come back to work yet. Athena says “It sounds like you’re taking your health very seriously,” looking at her husband. an indication that she thinks Evan is mature enough to handle being spoken to like an adult. Evan starts spiraling, like he does, leading Bobby to proclaim, “I’m the dumbass. You’re not ready. That’s what I told them, when they asked.” But bc Bobby did not have this conversation with Buck before now, Evan is all up in his feelings when Bobby drops the bomb at the dinner table. This leads to Evan becoming very upset, and leaving the dinner table, and we assume he goes home, all up in his feelings.

The next scene is Evan in the monster’s office.  Evan says, “I’m not sure we have much to say to each other right now, anyways.” and I’m going to talk about this (my feelings ahead.)

Holy Shit. Evan. Is this what we’re doing? Okay Evan. Are you sure? Are you fucking sure about that? You don’t have much to say about anything, to the members of the 118. I’m sorry, not your co-workers, Not your friends, but your fucking family, and you don’t have much of anything to say to them right now? 

This man is entirely up in his feelings, his feelings towards Bobby, I mind you, and has for some reason I’m still unable to grasp, associated the rest of his family with Bobby Nash. Eddie Diaz, Henrietta Wilson, Howie Han, are now all associated with Bobby Nash, and are no longer individual humans who have individual relationships with Evan Buckley. This is how I’ve interpreted this statement by Evan Buckley.

So because Evan has forgotten these people are individual humans, he then says “I’m alone in this fight” to which I have to say. Are you alone Evan? Do you not have a sister who takes care of you? Do you not have a best friend with a kid, you could vent to about how unreasonable Bobby is being? Do you not have a healthy friendship with Henrietta Wilson and her wife, Karen Wilson, who both show you love and support? Do you not have a friend who you’ve known for years, who also happens to date your sister, and who has been on the same side of Bobby’s decision making, that you are on now? But you are alone in this fight. Ok.

So Buck is all up in his feelings, and the lawsuit ensues. Bobby Nash, then tries to blame his wife, for some shit that she literally had nothing to do with, “None of this would have happened if you hadn’t invited him over to dinner”. And I just need to know, what the actual fuck am I watching right now? bc in what goddamn universe is Athena Grant at all to blame for Buck being all up in his feelings? She was trying to build a bridge here, which she might have been able to do, if Bobby had actually had a conversation with Buck, like an adult, if he hadn’t treated Buck like a child (even if he was treating him like an adult child, still a child none the less), and talked to him about his concerns with Buck’s medial situation. Hell, if he’d talked to Buck at all. period. then dinner might have gone differently.

So we’ve all seen that arbitration scene, so I’ll just touch on a couple of things. bc we still have a long way to go.

Evan Buckley is suing the LAFD, on the grounds of Discriminatory and unequal treatment on the part of Captain Nash. upon hearing this, Bobby replies, “I don’t treat Buck any differently than any other firefighter on my watch.” And Sir, this is false. (I touched on this a little already, and we’ve all seen the scene and know what evidence they produce, so I’m gonna move on).

I just need to say that Henrietta Wilson couldn’t have been more supportive, in this situation, given the restrictions that she has, with what she can and can’t say, so I have absolutely nothing to comment on with her answer of, “Every patient is different. Every injury is different.” except, that I agree.  We know what the monster then says, and we already know how I feel about the monster (so see the referenced quote again, if you’re unsure)

I just need to address the hurt, and disappointment on Eddie’s face rn. Eddie is sitting across this table from Buck, and Evan Buckley has his head hung with shame. The only interview in which Buck starts with his head turned down in shame. Evan is trying his damn hardest not to look Eddie Diaz in his eyes. This man has shame all over his face.

“It does make me understand the chain of command” he says, looking directly at Buck. When Buck feels Eddie’s eyes on him and he turns his eyes up and meet’s Eddie’s. Just wow. It is already very clear to me how upset Eddie is with Evan. More than anything, this reads to me like hurt feelings. (will reference again. Pt.2.)

Buck has Eddie out here in some arbitration bullshit, like Eddie Diaz, doesn’t have other things to fucking do today. They are looking at each other across from this table, while they’re having a wordless fight with each other. The body language on these two? And it’s not even so much of a fight, than it is Eddie looking at Buck and thinking this is incredibly impulsive, and selfish behavior, and you took this entirely too far, and Eddie now has to deal with the fallout of this behavior. (this will get referenced again. Pt 2.)

Buck just doesn’t want to look at Eddie at all. The monster asks Eddie if he was ready to return to work after his wife’s death, Evan’s eyes are looking absolutely anywhere but across the table at Eddie. Absolutely anywhere else.

Bobby will the the last thing we address in this post, we’re gonna have to do a part 2, bc this was entirely too long. Bobby.

Buck’s look of absolute shock and horror, when that monster said “alcoholism”. the second that word left his mouth, Buck’s face was. oh my god. The shock is indescribable. and now Buck is so disappointed in himself. The eyes, His eyes. He looks like he’s 100% about to cry. The eyes, the lip tremble.

I will note that Bobby is giving Buck a look. Buck takes this look that Bobby is giving him, and the disappointment spreads all over Buck’s face.

um I feel like maybe I need to reference back to 1.04 here bc it gets referenced, Buck says maybe ask for help sometime, and Bobby does. Buck helps him without a second thought. He actually did everything within his power to help Bobby return to his job, as Fire Captain. Twice. (I am also referring to the suspension here yes.)

[theskyexists]

Terminator

I watched the first terminator

It was an....EXPERIENCE

I now understand all the callbacks in dark fate. the skulls. the real janky looking skeletal terminators of john's future. hiding the gun in a jacket. scars. dani ironically not being able to drive. ending the story in a factory. the whole *gestures* grace/dani thing. the feminism

first things first - the soundmixing was SO BAD. the sound effects were shit anyway lol but I had to constantly turn the volume up and down respectively for conversation and gun sounds. also the epilepsy seizure white flashes were hell

i unironically AND ironically loved the pre-film credits with its Cool synth music

I loved the Cool synth keyboard sountrack it was INCREDIBLE hahahahaaha

i was not prepared for the enormous amount of manbod on display at the start of this film. like damn. DAMN. and it was pretty tasteful. and they definitely established Kyle as uhhhhh a very viable romantic interest - sprinting through that walmart shirtless, putting on cool product placement nikes, and somehow recovering his very cool coat in the police station while it was under fucking siege. was also not expecting to lay eye on an actual terminator dick in the shadows. but i think we should have more of that in films tbh

I just gotta say - I LOVED the style. I'm going to assume that is really what it was like. I love Sarah's little scooter especially, and her high waisted jeans and lil booties. her hair is of course....INCREDIBLE. the front so short that it poofs up lololol. She really does look in her twenties... I also loved all the little character details EVERYWHERE. the cops in the station??? I think my favourite character was definitely the police captain -  idk, such rich characterisation for a side character - with such random comedic delivery.

I also liked how meta it got through the psychologist's interrogation of Kyle - the film really just said: let's forestall your complaints about how none of this makes sense and give you excuses through Kyle's super intense explanations (well-acted) lol

but all of the cops literally seeing all their buddies go down and then jumping out to get hella shot themselves with no sense of self-preservation was pretty hilariously stupid - some video game logic shit

I actually really loved the flashbacks to the future - that actually looked a lot more realistic than i thought. not the green screen stuff while they run through the wasteland but yknow - the humans living in underground tunnels. especially the concept of everybody living next to each other along the walls of a tunnel was really worked

Also - pugsley??? AMAZING. (every time it opened its mouth the bf would go ''aaaaa')

I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THE EYE GORE. the wax (?) puppet was hilarious AND creative

The sexual politics  (literally) were really interesting?? Matt and Ginger and Sarah being so comfortable with each other that Matt's weird sex call makes her laugh. Ginger just listening to a bop while having sex with Matt? lol. The......sex scene between Kyle and Sarah was.......uhhhh...........unique? blessedly short? nice handholding there. I'm not saying it was bad, and I approve of the politics of Sarah getting on top but like, the repeated almost-the-same shots made it look a bit weird.

I have to note though that their kissing was incredibly SHIT. in my opinion

The point beforehand when Sarah goes: what about the women in your time? what are they like?

and Kyle goes: good fighters

i was like - Cameron - you feminist sunovabitch!! which naturally i'd already had this reaction when I saw that Kyle was running around with a female soldier (who looked eerily like Grace??? actually) and also arrived at his comfy tunnel home with another female soldier in tow. 1984 people!!! and Rogue One couldn't be fuckin bothered.

and then Sarah is like: yknow what i mean - you got a girlfriend????

and we find out that Kyle has had Sarah's image as his singular haven of comfort and beauty his whole life (which means also that he’s a virgin)

and it's kinda romantic

but THEN

he regrets admitting it!!!! 'i shouldn't have said that'

AND THAT KICKS IT UP TO REAL ROMANCE. THE GOOD SHIT!!!! YES!!!!

(then the kissing starts which is bad)

but how the fuck can fans of this original movie complain about dark fate loL???? Sarah really IS like Dani, adored for both her legendary power and what she personally represents to her saviour: a haven from their terrible lives. girls thrown into life-threatening situations and learning to aid their protector step by step - until she's the last one standing - until she's picked up the skills and grit and trauma to drag Kyle/Grace around to save them and then go toe to toe with a fucking Terminator after losing them.

Sometimes I think it's cos dudes can't deal with a movie in which there's no one to latch onto that looks like them. Also it might just be the racism - cos youtube comments generally seem to approve of blonde-haired blue-eyed badass Grace

The pacing of this movie was actually really good even though there were TWO huge exposition dumps in quick succession in two random cars. They were fine. The car chase scene that came after was the only boring part in the movie.

My god the stop motion shots of the terminator though - OH MY GOD. that aged SO BADLY

I like how they gave the Terminator steel teeth bc otherwise it wouldn't have looked enough like a skull. I also liked how it literally had pizza feet hahahahaha

I was disappointed with John's words to Sarah though - it was both the delivery (worst line Kyle's actor did - like how fuckin dead was his voice there) and the words themselves. If i had a way to speak to my mother who saved me and raised me to win the war against the machines and i'd already lost her I would have been like: I LOVE YOU - I can't help you and I’m sorry because you saved me, thank you for everything.

Anyway - in the end i was surprised the terminator could be exploded with a single lil nitroglycerin bomb or whatever but the choice to have Kyle bite it for that heroic act was intense and sad

While Sarah and unlegged Terminator were crawling along I was like: how the fuck is this robot getting any traction on this metal surface with it's smooth little metal fingers??

Sarah's last soft 'kyle' as she watches him get zipped up into a body bag was the most touching line in the movie

The ending narration was pretty fuckin shit though.

So yeah. I enjoyed that

[lassieposting]

How about the Lucifer OT3 for the domestic ship meme? 😁

domestic ship meme!

send me a ship and i’ll tell you:

who reaches out to new neighbors

a lot of the time, it’s lucifer. he’s a) incredibly sociable, b) nosy and c) faster than the other two, and demons are incredibly territorial, so if there’s someone new in the neighbourhood he wants to investigate immediately. he’s very friendly, but he flirts with the neighbours, or tries to make deals with them, or turns up with Fun MuffinsTM, so he’s a bit of a menace. chloe is pretty savvy and if she’s around she can usually grab him before he makes a break for the door, otherwise she and dan end up making the Lucifer Apology Tour. 

who remembers to buy healthy food

chloe and dan are both pretty responsible about this; they’re parents and have to feed trixie. dan is more inclined to be a health nut, because he’s very into staying in shape and eating healthy is a big part of his lifestyle. they both like to (get trixie to) try new foods, but neither of them have a lot of free time, so even their healthy meals tend to be chosen for being quick and easy to prepare. lucifer doesn’t shop for himself - he has a fancy grocery delivery service for that - but he also eats out a lot at various expensive restaurants whose owners owe him favours, so he doesn’t need to “shop” often. when chloe and dan stay over it’s always a toss-up whether his fridge will be fully stocked or empty except for wine, whip cream and strawberries. 

who remembers to buy junk food

lucifer, ably assisted by trixie. he’s a decent stepdevil, but he thinks showering your kid with money is good parenting. he snacks a lot as it is, bc supernatural metabolism + celestial young adult = constantly hungry, and trixie knows that if she says she’s hungry or suggests something new for him to try, he’ll take her to the store for a snack raid. he’s got a big sweet tooth and never says no to desserts and unhealthy junk. 

who fixes the oven when it breaks

dan. chloe can do basic DIY - put up a shelf, change a fuse - but fixing the oven is a bit beyond her. lucifer is useless; he doesn’t repair things at all, he throws them out and buys a new one. he does very much enjoy watching dan when he’s sweaty and a bit dirty and wearing a tool belt, though, so he hangs around and leers and makes unhelpful suggestive comments while dan is working. 

who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s)

lucifer is banned from looking after anything that can’t speak for itself for the foreseeable ever. he’s allowed to watch trixie occasionally, because trixie can and will remind him to feed her/take her to school/etc, but he’s too selfish to watch something that isn’t at least semi-independent. if they had a pet dan would look after it for the most part, and chloe is the only one who has any plants - she keeps a couple succulents, including the one on her desk at the precinct that lucifer doused with scotch that one time. 

who wakes up earlier

dan usually wakes up earliest; he goes to the gym to work out before heading to the precinct for 9. during the week, chloe wakes up next, because years of being a parent and doing the school run has made early mornings a habit, but at the weekends she’s happy to sleep in. lucifer is very much a night owl, and does not do early mornings. he doesn’t have to be at the precinct as early as the other two, since he’s a civilian consultant and not a detective, so he has a bit more leeway to stay in bed and doze. he does try very hard to get them to stay and cuddle with him though. sleepy lucifer is a snuggler. 

who makes the bed

lucifer is the only one who really cares about bed tidiness. dan doesn’t bother making it at all. chloe will straighten the comforter if she’s not in too much of a rush, but lucifer fluffs pillows and does hospital corners on the sheets and is just generally fastidious and overly tidy. 

who makes the coffee

lucifer. when he first started working with chloe, he realised he could offer to do a coffee run as an excuse to get out of doing paperwork. his memory’s on the scary side of eidetic, so he remembers all the hot beverage preferences for their entire department, and he’s loaded, so he always goes to the fancy, ridiculously overpriced coffee shop no one else can afford and usually comes back with donuts. eventually it just becomes a habit. 

who burns breakfast

chloe is a decent cook as long as the dish is simple and doesn’t take long to make, but she’ll put something on to boil and then get distracted by whatever case she’s working on and completely forget about whatever’s on the stove until it boils over or the fire alarm goes off and she has to go rescue it.  dan is a pretty good cook, but he doesn’t hold a candle to lucifer, so normally luci will make the dinner and chloe and dan will alternate washing up and putting things away. drying the dishes is trixie’s job. 

how do they let each other know they’re leaving the house

dan shouts bye from the door once he’s got his jacket and shoes on; chloe usually shouts bye back and lucifer’s normal response is “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” chloe gives cheek kisses before she leaves the house, and reminds whoever’s looking after trixie to do whatever they need to do for her that day (lucifer because he needs reminding, and dan out of habit even though he’s a perfectly capable caregiver). lucifer usually wants a hug before he goes out, mostly because having people who are willing to give him that kind of affection is still a big novelty and he’s living for it. 

how do they greet each other when one of them gets home

dan and chloe have lived together before, for years, so usually they just come in, toss their keys on the side and call out “hey”. living with other people is still new to lucifer, though, so he gets very excited when someone comes home; it’s an opportunity to get kisses and cuddles. when it’s him coming home, usually he just bursts in already talking about something that happened to him while he was gone, sometimes mid-sentence. 

who brings home little gifts like flowers/chocolates more often

lucifer is the classically romantic one. he’s always picking up takeout from dan’s favourite vietnamese place or bringing chloe lemon bars or surprising them with a candlelit dinner on the penthouse balcony. neither of them really expected him to be the romantic type, but it makes a lot more sense once they realise that most of his knowledge about human courting practices comes from movies and TV. 

who picks the movie for movie night

if trixie is with them, she usually picks; otherwise, they take turns. this was implemented because chloe kept getting outnumbered - the boys both like action films like body bags and the weaponizer with plenty of nudity, explosions and unrealistic fight scenes. chloe’s not really a fan. 

their favorite kind of movie to watch

chloe likes comedies and dan likes action films. lucifer’s favourites are also action films, but he usually picks a horror for movie night. not because he has a particular fondness for scary movies, but because chloe will end up pressed into his side and he loves that of all the strange, comfort-seeking behaviours humans have, she cuddles up with the devil. he’s used to people being terrified of him. being seen as a protector is new and thrilling.

who first suggests a pillow fort

technically it’s trixie, and she’s horrified that lucifer’s parents never taught him to make one. he hates missing out on shit so he brings it up on date night cause he wants to see what the big deal is. 

who builds the pillow fort

dan is in charge of actually building the pillow fort, and chloe is in charge of furnishing it with plenty of blankets and cushions and soft cuddly things. lucifer lounges on the couch and “directs”, which is what he claims he did when the demons were building his palace in hell. once the chloe and dan have finished building the damn thing, they then fuck him in it, which is very pleasant if not the original intended purpose. 

who tries to distract the other during the movie

10000% lucifer. he lasts all of five minutes before he’s trying to undress someone. it’s always risky taking him to the movies because he’ll inevitably want to make out/give head/get head in the back row. chloe is surprisingly easily corrupted and makes a game out of how long she can edge him for; if he makes it to the end of the movie, he gets a reward. 

who falls asleep first

unexpectedly, it’s lucifer. he’s just spent six months (for dan and chloe)/thousands of years (by his count) in hell, with nobody to watch his back. he hasn’t had a good night’s sleep for a very, very long time; he’s been constantly watching his back, heading off rebellions and assassination attempts and game of thrones-level political bullshittery. with chloe and dan, he’s safe. he can get his head down and sleep knowing that at least one of the three of them will wake up if there’s danger. also between them they fuck him till he’s ready to pass out so yeah, he crashes first

who is big spoon/little spoon

dan is very much a big spoon, which suits the other two just fine. lucifer will be the big spoon for chloe, because he knows she likes cuddling into him, but he’s a little spoon at heart. he loves being held. he likes tucking his head under dan’s jaw and dozing off to dan’s fingertips stroking his back. chloe will also switch, because she loves how soft and affectionate lucifer is when she’s cuddling him, but she prefers being the little spoon. 

[persephonescat]

Birds and Other Supernatural Phenomenons

Hiiii! This is… long. Probably the longest chapter I’m going to have, but it’s all only one scene and I just couldn’t cut it in half. Thank you for your comments! They make my whole week! Some of you pointed out a few mistakes in the last chapter, I hope it’s all good now! ^^ And please tell me if there are any weird sentences or typos or anything. Multiple people told me that the last chapter’s storm came very suddenly, so I re-read the sixth chapter and as it turns out, the sentence about the weather was lost in the editing. It all looked very dark and moody in my head, so I didn’t notice there was no description of it. Thank you for telling me, I’m definitely going to correct that.

(I think we should call this fic BaOSP in the future when we’re just talking about it in the comments or on Discord or just in general, bc this title is really long… The title and the tags will stay the same of course, it’s just that from now on, BaOSP is the official (???) shortened version of it.)

Damian meets Marinette, I REPEAT, DAMIAN MEETS MARINETTE.

Ch. 1    Previous    Masterpost    AO3 

________________

Ch. 8: Lord Annoyance

It was Monday night and Damian Wayne already hated the week.

Tim finally passed out on Saturday and did nothing but sleep all weekend, so on one hand, now he was capable of speaking in full sentences. On the other hand, all of his sentences were about the process of etching and nobody knew why, so it wasn’t any less problematic.

Dick came home with several holes in his shoe and refused to speak about it.

Jason didn’t eat anything but pork for a week straight and this morning he swore to go vegetarian.

Bruce was in the process of finding new hobbies - Tim said it was midlife crisis, Jason said the old man was finally going crazy and Cass was out of town, so she just yelled at them via video chat. Barbara and Steph laughing their asses off every time the topic came up didn’t help either, but after seeing the anvil in the living room while going to get breakfast, Damian was starting to agree with Jason.

On top of it all, some idiot under the name of Dark Nomad killed a chicken, painted obscene pictures on the walls of one of Bruce’s apartments with its blood, then for some reason, they stole some garden interior and part of the fence. Just fantastic.

And guess who had to track him down and arrest him? Robin. Because his family was a bunch of freaking sadists.

On top of it all, when he finally arrived on the rooftop where the petty villain was spotted two days in a row, the idiot wasn’t alone.

Robin landed quietly, hid behind a metal staircase leading the upper parts of the building and stopped to listen to the conversation going down between the two shadowy forms. He was already planning revenge in the back of his mind - it would’ve been ridiculously easy to poison at least two out of his three brothers. Not too badly but enough for them to have an unpleasant couple of days.

“Did you manage to sleep during the day, or should I be worried about you suddenly falling down from here because of exhaustion?” one of the forms asked flatly, a young girl sitting on the edge of the roof. She looked tiny compared to the Nomad sitting beside her, but she didn’t seem to be afraid at all. Her body language was taunting and open, her dark hair shimmered in the light coming from the streets below as she turned her head towards the boy. She had a slight French accent.

“Nah, I had double English in the afternoon, so I’m good,” the Nomad said, playing with a stray thread on his hoodie. “You?”

“I slept on the bus…” the girl started, trailing off. She tilted her head, concentrating on something. “Could you give me a minute?” she asked, standing up. For a moment, Damian felt relieved. She was already leaving.

Then she turned towards him.

She could’ve just heard something. She could’ve just checked out the area. It could’ve been a coincidence, but she was staring right at him, even though he was sure he wasn’t visible in the dark.

She walked towards his hiding place with no hesitation or fear. He was standing there motionlessly as she got closer. He studied her form, looking for weapons and weak points. She was wearing a warm cardigan with jeans and dark boots. He eyed her scarf and gloves suspiciously. It wasn’t that cold, but he didn’t see anything hidden in them.

Her red lipstick matched her scarf, her hair was tied into a loose braid coming forward at the side of her neck, dancing gracefully when a light breeze caught it. Her body language was still way too open and she foolishly grabbed the railing of the staircase before peeking behind it, leaving her torso even more vulnerable.

If he was ever planning on confronting her, he would’ve changed his mind after that. She was clearly harmless when it came to physical combat.

What the hell was she doing here, then?

“Can I help you?” she asked, looking at where his mask covered his eyes. Her voice was toneless and her accent was gone. Robin wondered if he was just imagining it earlier. Maybe he was too deep in his thoughts to pay attention.

It happened a lot nowadays. Him, getting lost in his thoughts and not paying attention. At first, it annoyed him - and scared the living daylight out of him, not as if he was about to tell that to anyone. Now he knew it was part of being human. It meant he was getting healthier, as Alfred put it. Making mistakes was part of life and he wanted to have a life, right?

Yes, he did.

Sometimes he looked at Bruce and his sorry brothers and realized that he already had a one. It made him feel weird. Happy, probably, but it was a new kind of happy. It made him want to smile at the most random times and help Alfred with chores. It made him have this… desire to go after Bruce when he disappeared to his garden to calm down, to bring home some donuts for Dick every time he passed that shop he liked, to take Jason to Disneyland on his birthday, to make Cass smile more often, to pull up the security footages from the Cave on his computer, so he could check on Tim without him knowing.

It was terrifying and he wouldn’t have changed it for anything in the world.

“Robin?” the girl asked impatiently. Damn, he zoned out. He cleared his throat, trying to find the right thing to say.

“Errm… do you realize you are sitting with a criminal?” Good job, Damian, your brothers would be proud. Why not ask her her favorite color too, maybe that will help. He was prepared to hear Jason’s amused words through the comms, but surprisingly, his brother stayed quiet.

“Are you concerned about my safety?” The girl narrowed her eyes.

He straightened his back and cleared his mind.

“Actually, I’m here to arrest the Dark Nomad,” he told her, trying to sound professional. Not as if it mattered anymore.

“Why?”

“Damaging private property, theft, and vandalism.”

“Could you elaborate? Picking flowers in a park could be considered all three of those.” Her voice was mocking now.

Damian stared at her. She was at least a head shorter than him, with no weapons. He was Robin. She was either incredibly dangerous or very stupid, and he had a hard time believing in the first scenario.

“He killed an animal, draw obscene pictures on the street with its blood, did damage that’s repairing will take hundreds of dollars, stole garden interior… should I continue?”

“When did he do all that?” the girl asked. She didn’t seem surprised at all.

“Why would I tell you?” frowned Robin. “I’m here to arrest him, that’s the only important thing.” Harmless or not, she was getting annoying.

“Well, you can’t legally make arrests given that you’re not a police officer, which means that you have absolutely no reason to be here. You might as well go home,” she explained simply. Her voice was toneless again, she spoke as if she was just stating facts, - which she did, after all.

Damian’s blood was starting to boil. Did the psychopaths roaming this city have a right to murder people? No. Did they have any right to hurt civilians? No. Was any of the things they did legal? No.

Who was this kid to come and tell him about rights, when his family seemed to be the only ones protecting them?

The girl was looking at him as if she was staring into his soul, then suddenly, she smirked.

“Not as if that would stop you,” she said, and Robin looked at her quizzically. “But I have a feeling that you’re after the wrong guy, so if you told me when he did all that, it would clear a few things.”

He was lost. What did this girl want? She was too weird to be stupid. She let the railing go now and was standing with her arms at her sides, her head slightly tilted.

“Today, between two and three AM,” he told her finally, curious about her reaction.

She stared right into his eyes, even though his mask was hiding them and said, “He was with me.”

Robin didn’t see anything about her body language betraying her, but she must’ve noticed he didn’t believe her because she continued.

“We were talking about Tamás Vekerdy and Bruno Bettelheim. They’re psychologists who often write about children. He arrived around midnight, and when he left it was already past five in the morning, so there is no way he could’ve done anything unless he has an evil twin.”

He scoffed angrily. When he spoke again, he was hissing the words from behind his clenched teeth.

“These things don’t take long. He might’ve just slipped away for a few minutes and came back, unless of course if you were in the same position for five hours.” He might’ve also growled a little. He was standing only inches from her now, looming over her.

“That’s not too hard to check, your Highness.” She cocked her head and held his gaze fearlessly. “Where did all this happen?”

He was about to bite back but he stopped abruptly.

Okay, so he might’ve been a little wrong. If the girl was telling the truth, the guy should’ve disappeared for at least one and a half hours to get to the scene from here. Not as if that meant anything, she could’ve easily lied. He just didn’t notice it.

A voice saved him from having to answer.

“Marinette? Is everything okay?” The Dark Nomad was walking towards them. When he noticed Robin, a terrified expression took over his confused one. He was about to go and stand between the girl and the vigilante when she lifted her arm to stop him, not moving her gaze away from Robin. The Nomad looked like a caged animal but didn’t try to fight her.

“Lord Annoyance here states that last night, you cloned yourself between The Book of Diaries and NurtureShock, and went to draw booties and steal a bunch of garden gnomes.”

The Nomad opened his mouth to say something but Robin beat him to it.

“Okay, so first of all, it wasn’t just "booties” and they were drawn with blood, which makes it considerably worse.“ Jason, who was listening to everything he said trough the comms the whole time, chose that moment to burst out laughing. He did his best to ignore him.

"Second of all, a lot of things were stolen, not just…” yep, that sentence was a bad idea, “Garden gnomes.”

“Why do you think he did it in the first place?” the girl, - Marinette cut back.

“It was private property. There was a camera.”

“Whose?”

He took a second to consider the possible fallback of the answer. The existence of Bruce Wayne wasn’t a secret. Neither was the fact that he owned multiple buildings around the city. Maybe it was going to scare the villain enough that he confesses.

“Bruce Wayne’s,” he said finally. The girl’s undisturbed expression made him feel uneasy. “Have you heard of him?”

“Oh, you mean that’s who the big ass tower in the middle of the city is named after? I thought it was the ship name of watery rain or way of pain or something.” Her words were dripping from sarcasm.

‘Who are you talking to? What did they say?’ asked Jason like an excited child but Damian once again ignored him.

“Well, I’m sorry, but his alibi is pretty shaky, you know. Villains can be very convincing here, in case you didn’t notice.” He didn’t think this guy could convince anyone, but it was possible.

“Yeah, his ski mask really makes me shake in fear,” Marinette said flatly.

The villain finally got a chance to say something but his moment didn’t last long.

“It’s not a-”

“Yes, it is. Shut up.” Marinette pinched the bridge of her nose. “He is wearing a hoodie and a mask ever since… birth, probably. How did anyone recognize him?”

“He left his signature,” Robin told her. He wasn’t even angry anymore, he was just very annoyed.

Marinette froze. She almost seemed to forget about Robin as she finally broke eye contact and turned around.

“You… have a signature?” she asked the Dark Nomad, who was still standing behind her, ready to jump at any moment.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times. It reminded Robin of a distressed duck.

“Kinda,” he said quietly.

“Why would you do that?” asked Marinette, gesticulating wildly.

“It’s part of the aesthetic, okay?” he explained with a hurt expression.

“Hey, I’m accusing you of a crime here!” reminded them Robin. This was taking way longer than he wanted it to.

Marinette once again turned to him, let out a deep breath and arranged her face into a more professional expression.

Finally.

“Right,” she started seriously. She gave him a second to compose himself, then continued. “Boobs.”

The Dark Nomad snorted, but Marinette just gave him an unimpressed look and let out an exasperated sigh.

“Okay, so tell Mr. Wayne, that he should be looking for another idiot because I was looking after this one at the time.”

Before he could answer, he heard Jason’s voice in his ear.

'There is a robbery going down at Chucko’s. I’m going in.’

Damian cursed quietly.

“Don’t. Wait for me. I’ll be there in two,” he told him, placing his fingers on the comm so the two people standing in front of him knew he wasn’t speaking to them.

“I have to go,” he told them quickly, then took off before they could do as much as blink.

***

Marinette ran after the vigilante but stopped at the edge of the roof. She saw a dark form jumping over rooftops. After a few seconds, it disappeared and relief rushed over her body.

She was way too tired to think about how she just got into an argument with one of Gotham’s heroes.

She closed her eyes and turned to go back to her room. She needed to sleep. A lot.

“You’re kinda terrifying when you’re sleep-deprived, did you know that?” said Jeremy, coming out from behind the metal staircase.

“I always am,” answered Marinette, still not opening her eyes.

“Do you mean terrifying or sleep-deprived?” asked Jeremy confusedly.

Marinette gave him a small wave, then climbed back to the hotel without a word.

________________

*Quiet chanting* comments, comments, comments

*Chanting intensifies* comMEnts, COMments, coMMENTS

*Thunder*

*The flattering of wings and the sounds of scared birds*

*Chanting* COMMENTS, COMMENTS, COMMENTS, COMMENTS

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Repost, please don’t reblog!!

Tagged by: @yourlovingspy (thank youuuu!! ❤️)

Tagging: @maximuses (For Luna) @literiveture (for Faye) @ivestasy (for Val) @dcllmaking (for Ernie man) @devilsdecade (for Wyatt) @thxwxlf and anyone else who feels like doing it!

⚔️ Senses and Other Oddly Specific Headcanons ⚔️

For Lucas!!

1. What does your muse smell like?

Depends on the day. By default, Lucas tends to have the smell of gunpowder, rich cologne, and blood/ money on him. His work keeps the lingering smell of death on him, but it tends to be well-hidden beneath his fancy perfumes. By default however, Lucas’ pure, natural scent is very soft: he has this smell like freshly baked bread, still warm out of the oven, and the faintest hint of sea salt, like the oceans of his home still clinging to him from thousands of miles away. It’s oddly comforting and homely for someone like him, and the softness of it has gained him many comments about it. It’s a shame he tends to mask if under lotions and face masks and shaving cream and cologne for the sake of keeping himself presentable.

2. What do your muse’s hands feel like?

The years have not been kind to Lucas and his hands show that. He has a few scars- including an old burn scar on the side of his left hand. His fingers and palms have some callouses on them from fighting every day. Sometimes against others, sometimes against himself. But even still, they’re not incredibly rough. He washes, moisturizes, and lotions his hands so often that the callouses don’t ever really have the chance to fully harden, so they just feel more like tougher, thicker patches of skin on his hand. Overall, his hands are very soft as a result of his extensive self-care routines, and the callouses and scars just kind of add a weathered texture to them. They tend to feel really, really warm. Unless he’s sick- then they’re ice cold.

3. What does your muse usually eat in a day?

Lucas isn’t all that picky about what he eats. As a child he ate whatever was on his plate, and as a teenager he couldn’t exactly have a preference for whatever he fished out of trash cans or smuggled into prison for food. Nowadays he makes his own meals. For breakfast, he tends to eat eggs either scrambled or in omelettes with things like cheese, black olives, pepper, and potato inside. He likes his fresh OJ or warm milk in the mornings. Throughout the day he tends to nibble mostly on fruits or vegetables, drinks plenty of water or tea— he rarely drinks coffee but if he does, it’s usually black with one or two sugar. Lunch tends to be light sandwiches. Dinner is the heaviest meal. He goes all out on dinners. He’s Cuban and Polish so there’s a lot of good food to be had. Stewed and shredded beef slow-cooked in fresh tomatoes, onions, peppers, garlic and wine, and served with white rice, black beans and sweet plantains. Or rosół broth and tomato soup with herring prepared in cream, with a vegetable salad. Desert tends to be his favorite meal. He’s got a major sweet tooth and loves sweets with his favorites being papieska (cake), pie, choclate/caramel candies, and ice cream (Rocky Road is his fav). With his schedule and overall mental health, how much he eats tends to fluctuates. He has a bad habit of occasionally skipping meals when he’s not in a good place and will go days without eating. When he’s stressed, he tends to overeat and mostly has snacks. His only real limits are his allergies to pineapple and raspberries... but even then he just tends to call Mike up and preemptively tell him he’s about to eat something he shouldn’t because it’s delicious. (Sidenote: he tends to be very protective of his food and does not take kindly to people picking off his plate. Suffice to say, sharing his food with someone is a very big deal.)

As you can probably tell, food is very important to this man.

4. Does your muse have a good singing voice?

Oh yeah. Lucas is actively involved in his churches’ choirs- has been since he was a little boy. He has a deep love for music overall, having learned how to play guitar and the piano from his father. He loves singing the most though and he’s damn good at it too. It’s another thing that’s very important to him, much like cooking, because in practicing it he believes he is keeping a part of his father alive and with him. He doesn’t do it often and definitely doesn’t like doing it in front of people unless he has a very firm sense of trust in them, but occasionally you might be able to hear him humming or mumbling quietly to him while he filed paperwork and cleans (the latter of which tends to be accompanied by dramatic dancing, of which he is also good at).

Fun fact: When he was younger and picked up smoking as a stressful habit, it started to affect his voice. After finding out, that alone was enough to make him quit.

5. Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?

Tons. Lucas has tendency to curl his lips back- yes, like a dog- at people when they’re scaring or threatening him. Or at least, when he thinks they’re threatening him. He tends to use vinegar and salt to treat many of his wounds instead of providing himself actual medical attention (there are actually still bullets stuck in his skin bc he never pulled them out and just slapped a bandaid on it). He overeats when he’s very stressed or scared, he stops eating when he’s depressed, he tends to avoid sleep for long periods of time. At some point, Lucas developed this habit where he intentionally keeps himself out of REM sleep in order to stay alert. The problem is, lingering in NREM increases his risk for nightmares, night terrors, and sleep paralysis- which he chronically suffers from. Additionally, it worsens his sleep apnea and only makes it so he never feels well-rested. He just takes LSD to make himself more alert an get through the day. Additionally, Lucas regularly drinks heavily to the point of passing out, smokes marijuana, and frequently seeks out one-night stands as unhealthy ways of coping with his issues. Yeah, he’s an absolute mess.

6. What does your muse usually look like / wear?

Lucas like his suits. He has to have them tailored and custom-fitted to his body type and proportions, but he loves the feel of high quality suits. He likes the way they look on him, he loves the way they fold and winkle in just the right ways. He likes the designs of them. His work suit is his abilities favorite right next to tuxedos. Outside of work, his style varies. He tends to wear big hoodies and jeans and sneakers out and about. He likes warm sweaters and sweatpants, but he also like muscle t-shirts and yoga pants. It just depends on how he feels and what he’s planning on doing on a given day.

7. Is your muse affectionate? How much? How so?

Enormously. It’s just a matter of bringing out that affection. Due to his extensive history and mistrust of people, Lucas tends to be very guarded and solitary. He doesn’t like being touched, he rarely speaks— out it like this: he doesn’t want do anything that could potentially leave him vulnerable 2,000 steps down the line and accidentally reveal vulnerability to someone who might exploit it and hurt him. Again. He’s made that mistake too many times before. But in his intense solitude he is very lonely. He pines for someone, but he can’t seem to find them. He craves human contact but he’s too afraid of the world to actually look for it. Which is a shame, because if you manage to strip back the layers of his hardened exterior, Lucas is a very deeply affectionate person. He loves physical intimacy, he loves cuddling and hugging and kissing on his partner. He’d love spoiling them with gifts and seeing them smile, he’d love hoisting them up and surprising them. He’d love taking them out to places and sitting and listening to them talk for hours upon hours at a time. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for someone he loves. He’s just very scared because the people he loves tend to be taken from him, or walk away from him, or repay his love with immense pain.

8. What position does your muse sleep in?

Like most things about Lucas, this tends to vary. He can fall asleep standing up. He can fall asleep in a chair. He can fall asleep in a car, or on the floor, or on some stairs. If he actually manages to make it to bed, Lucas tends to sleep with his back against the wall. Or if that’s not available, he will curl up with his back against the headboard and one hand under his pillow where he gun is. If he’s really really relaxed, he’ll sleep on his belly or on his side, but never on his back. He’s noticed that sleeping on his back tends to increase the chances of him having a nightmare of sleep paralysis event.

9. Could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

Probably not. Even in his own homes away from home, Lucas tends to be silent. He moves on tiptoe, staying close to furniture and walls, walking on carpet and avoid creaky or echoey areas of the floor. He’s very sensitive to sound and tends to tread lightly to avoid disturbing anyone, even if there’s no one else around. This is partially to stay alert and keep good practice at how to stealthily move around on the job, but mostly because living with his brother is not the easiest task in the world. Especially when he comes home late at night. Tipping Xavier off is not something he particularly enjoys because it often means dire consequences for him.