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goosewriting · 1 year

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Of bunk beds and confessions

summary: when there’s a new crew member on the Mantis, reader feels discouraged to confess to Cal.

relationship: Cal Kestis x GN reader

warnings: slight spoilers for Jedi Fallen Order, dw it has a happy ending uvu

word count: 2.8k

A/N: recently finished JFO (finally! lol) and i have A Lot Of Feelings so, here you go

prompt used: hesitant kisses, but when they part one whispers "do it again. please."(source, by @urfriendlywriter)

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

You’re waiting on the Mantis with Cere and Greez for Cal to get back with the Astrium. You’re currently on Dathomir, and you’re not entirely sure what he had to do to get the thing, but he comm’d you some minutes ago saying he’s on his way back to you.

You stand at the top of the ship’s ramp, trying to see if you can see him somewhere. You’ve been worried out of your mind when he would send you short and clipped messages, telling you he had to fight some mysterious but apparently very powerful traveller he met on this planet. The whole place gave you the creeps; with the Nightsisters gone and all, it just felt like a hollow, haunted memory of a civilization.

Despite everything being tinted red, from the rocky formations all the way up to the sky, your eyes catch a familiar flash of copper hair. Your head turns and you look out to Cal, who’s about to reach the ship. Only then do you finally allow yourself to breathe properly again.

The thought crosses your mind that, with how worried you are when Cal’s gone, not knowing if it’s the last time you’ll see him when you wish the Force to be by his side as he leaves for several hours, only to come back all beat up… Maybe you should finally tell him how you feel. It’s a selfish thought, but you’re not sure how much longer your heart can take this.

Turning back inside, you shake your head and try to calm the pounding against your ribcage. The important thing is that he’s back, he’s alive.

“Cal’s back!” you call to the rest of the crew, and everyone gathers around the dinner table just as Cal walks up the ramp to the Mantis.

“You found it!” Cere says when she sees the small, black item in Cal’s hand, who’s showcasing it.

Suddenly, there’s a flurry of green and black behind him as a person appears out of thin air.

“Whoa, who’s this?” Greez asks, pointing to the stranger.

As you take in her appearance, you kinda freeze: it’s a Nightsister. BD beeps excitedly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the pilot asks the droid, still unsure about her presence on his ship.

“It means I’ll be joining you,” she says, with an accent and with confidence. You look at Cal, hoping for him to intervene, but instead, he looks excited. Cal points to each of you, introducing you all by name to the newcomer.

“And this is Merrin,” Cal finishes, pointing to her.

“Wha–” Greez looks up at him just as shocked as you are. “She’s a witch, isn’t she?”

“A Nightsister,” Merrin corrects him. “Your fear is unnecessary.”

“I couldn’t have gotten the Astrium without her,” Cal explains. “We fought Malicos together. I trust her.”

Those words hit you like a bag of bricks. He trusts her. They fought together. She must be a skilled warrior, then. Meanwhile you’re just… you. And next to her, it doesn’t feel like enough.

“And we trust you,” Cere retorts with a smile directed at Cal, then turns serious as she looks at Merrin. “You will have to earn it.”

“Fine, grab some seat,” Greez mutters under his breath as he makes his way to the cockpit. “As long as she doesn’t do anything funny.”

“Welcome aboard,” Cere finally says to Merrin and follows Greez to the front of the ship.

Cal looks after them for a second, then turns to the new crew member.

“They like you,” he remarks, and looks at you as if waiting for you to add something, but you’ve long averted your eyes from him.

The image of Cal looking at Merrin is now burned in your retinas. Doubt and jealousy spread within you, so you leave for the back of the ship, missing Merrin’s questioning gaze on you.

Greez sets course for Zeffo to bring the Astrium to the temple and finally, hopefully get the Holocron. You wonder what will happen after that. Is the crew gonna split up? You sure hope not; you don’t really have anywhere else to go.

You didn’t join the Mantis team much earlier than Cal did, so this was your first time you were on the move with Jedis, and if you were being honest, you liked it. Most of it, at least. You liked the sense of adventure, sure. The constant worry about a certain redhead, not so much. And yet you can’t get enough of him and his boyish smile as he apologises for the scratches and bruises you nurse back to health. You’re sure that you’d follow him to the end of the Galaxy if he asked you to.

But that probably isn’t gonna happen, not if you correctly read how Cal and Merrin exchanged looks throughout the evening when eating dinner. Merrin asked for her steak rare, and you felt that with every jab of her fork into the meat (which to you was way too red), she was looking in your direction. You really weren’t in the mood to confront the newcomer, especially when Cal and even BD seemed so thrilled to have her here, so you tried to ignore her most of the day. Which probably wasn’t the most polite thing to do, but there were other things on your mind.

When the time came to sleep, the crew had to make a few changes. The Mantis has four separate rooms with two bunks each, and until you figure out something better, Cal volunteered to bunk with Greez so Merrin could have her own room.

Now lying in your bed at night, you think back to how you almost didn’t get to talk at all with Cal since he arrived with the Astrium today, despite how worried you were. Just like every other time he’s gone ever since this race for the Holocron started.

As the medic of the crew you’ve had to patch up Cal several times, often giving him a piece of your mind, given how badly injured he came back sometimes. You don’t consider him to be reckless though, in fact you saw how competent he is first-hand when he defended you from an Inquisitor. But still you can’t help the knot in your throat and the tightening in your chest that only loosen up when you see him coming back to the Mantis in one piece.

And just like every time he came back, today too he sat on the chair as you cleaned up his wounds. Usually you two would chat while you work, but today you had refrained from saying too much, scared that the conversation would shift to the new crew member, and as such giving away how you felt about her. Not that you disliked her (you still hadn’t dealt with Merrin enough to get an idea of the person she was), but her being seemingly close to Cal had put a significant dent in your confidence. Your plans of confessing your feelings to him were now thrown into the bin and you felt silly for ever thinking you had a chance to begin with.

You sigh to yourself in your bunk, pulling the blanket up to your chin and waiting for the ship’s constant hums of hyperspace to lull you to sleep. But at the speed your mind is racing, you doubt sleep will come your way any time soon.

Just as you’re considering doing some reading instead of sleeping in an attempt to tire yourself out, there’s a knock at your door.

Your breath hitches and you tense up. The first person that comes to mind is Merrin; what if she’s here to tell you off or something? To confront you about your attitude at dinner? Or worse, what if she’s here to… hurt you?

No wait, that’s ridiculous. Shaking away your thoughts, you clear your throat.

“Come in,” you call to the person on the other side.

Much to your surprise, when the door slides open, it’s Cal standing there. A shirtless Cal to be exact, only wearing sweats. He's holding BD in his arms and quickly comes in, closing the door behind him, and approaches you to sit on the edge of your bed.

“I did not know a body so small could snore so loudly” he remarks and yawns.

Even though you've seen Cal without his shirt plenty of times when patching him up, you can feel the heat prickling your cheeks. You really hope he can’t see how you're eyeing him up, no matter how much you try to tear away your gaze.

“Can I… sleep here tonight?” he asks, and your heart skips a beat. You internally reprimand yourself for that as he’s obviously asking about the bunk above you, not about sharing your bed.

“Of course,” you reply, hoping your voice doesn’t betray you.

He thanks you and climbs onto the bed. BD beeps something you don't understand, and Cal answers in quiet whispers you can't really hear.

Some minutes pass by, and you have to remind yourself to breathe. Now there is for sure no way you'll fall asleep, great. You plan on waiting for him to pass out so you can pull out your book, but Cal keeps shifting back and forth, seemingly unable to find a comfortable position to sleep in.

“Can’t sleep?” you ask after some time, and he sighs deeply.

“Sorry, I'm probably shaking the whole thing,” he says with a sheepish chuckle.

“Wanna sleep down here?” you find yourself proposing, and mentally facepalm yourself. What you meant to say was “Want to switch places?”, but now you made it sound like you're inviting him to sleep in your bed with you. Not that you'd have anything against it, but he's probably taken aback by it–

His fiery hair hangs from his head as he’s peeking down over the edge of the bunk to look at you.

“Really?” he asks, and you can't tell if the tone of his voice is teasing or hopeful. He probably understood what you meant about switching places, right? And that's what he means to do?

You merely nod your head with an affirmative hum, and Cal’s face disappears so he can properly climb down. He comes to stand beside the bed just as you're sitting up to get out. You're about to throw your legs over the edge when he places a knee next to you, and you freeze.

“Scoot over” he instructs, and you follow. He lifts the blanket and slides under.

You turn on your side with your back to him, trying to shuffle all the way to the wall so he has enough space. Instead you feel yourself being pulled back as Cal hugs you from behind and brings you into his chest, tangling his legs with yours. BD joins the nap pile as well and settles at the end of the bed.

“Is this okay?” he asks, tightening his hold around your waist ever so slightly, and you're still too stunned to speak, so once again you merely nod, and he heaves a deep sigh, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

“Is this okay for you though?” you suddenly blurt out. He lifts his head at the question.

“What do you mean?”

“I thought… you and Merrin…” you say and immediately regret it, forcing yourself to shut up. You should have just kept silent and enjoyed this moment.

“What about her?” Cal asks, the arm at your waist pulling you over to lie on your back while he props himself on his elbow to look down at you.

You don’t answer immediately, unsure of what to say. You fidget with the hem of the blanket.

“I don't know, the way she looked at you… I thought you two...”

He gives you a small, maybe even shy, smile.

“Greez was snoring,” he states, which seems pretty unrelated, so you quirk an eyebrow at him. “And whose room did I go to?”

You avert your gaze from his, not wanting to give in just yet. Somewhere in the back of your brain there was still a little voice saying that there's no way he's implying what you think he's implying, and that you shouldn't get your hopes up because you're only gonna get crushed.

Then he softly calls your name, and you're suddenly aware of how he can possibly not just hear but feel how your heart is pounding against your ribs, with his body pressed to your side. His hand reaches up to gently hold your chin, turning your face to look at him, and your cheeks burn once more.

The way he looks at you, how the dim lighting from behind seems to form the faintest of halos against his copper hair, how his ocean eyes shine through the darkness and look into yours longingly… You make sure to commit everything to memory, afraid of this moment ever ending. You're so busy counting every freckle, tracing every line of his face with your eyes, his jaw, his collarbones, that you miss how his own eyes flicker to your lips for a moment, and he starts leaning in.

Before you can even process what’s happening, Cal presses his lips to yours. The touch is feather-light, almost like he’s scared to press too hard. Just as quickly as it started, it ended much too soon. Pulling back only enough to look at you, he’s about to say something, but you go first.

“Do it again,” you demand in a whisper. “Please.”

Cal’s happy to oblige and leans back down, now with more confidence. This time he feels you reciprocate, so he moves on top of you, his arms on either side so as not to crush you with his weight. He traces your bottom lip with his tongue, and you open your mouth to meet it with your own. Your hands reach up, one around his toned back, the other over his shoulder, to his nape, and into his fiery hair. Tangling your fingers into the strands, you pull ever so slightly and he groans into the kiss. If you thought your cheeks were burning before, now your whole body is positively ablaze.

He breaks the kiss for much needed air, peppering some more on your jaw and neck, which makes you giggle lightly.

You’re both panting lightly, trying to get your breathing and erratic hearts under control, still looking at each other in awe of what just happened, when BD suddenly beeps.

“Wha- Yeah, I was about to!” Cal says over his shoulder to the droid.

“What did he say?” you ask, cupping his face with both your hands, and he leans into your touch, closing his eyes.

“He said I should tell you how I feel about you,” he explains sheepishly, and when you chuckle at that, he looks back at you.

“I think you’ve made it plenty clear” you tell him with a grin. “But you can’t never be too sure.”

Cal stifles a laugh while shaking his head, hugging you to him and turning around so now you’re on top of him. The action makes you squeak in surprise, and your hand shoots up to cover your mouth as you hide your face in his chest in embarrassment. He chuckles, and you can feel it rumbling through you both.

“Then let me clear it up,” he starts and his face gets a bit more serious. His hand comes up to hold your face, brushing over your cheekbone with his thumb. “You’re the first thing to make sense in a very, very long time. I’ve been running, hiding for so long… You reminded me that there’s more to life than just survival. And now I can’t imagine a life without you in it.”

You place your own hand over his own, leaning into it and closing your eyes to savour the moment and make sure that you’re not dreaming. After a moment you look back up at him with a smile you can’t stop from spreading no matter how hard you try, not that you’d want to.

Since you don't really know how to answer and put your feelings into words, you decide to kiss him one more time. It’s cut short though as you have to lean back for a yawn you can’t stifle. Despite your racing heart and the million thoughts going through your head right now, the claws of sleep are slowly creeping in to claim you.

You kinda slump onto Cal, who huffs in surprise but hugs you nonetheless, and you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck as you nestle your body against his, your leg over his hip.

“I also want you to stay in my life, Cal,” you mumble as you lazily trace shapes onto his skin. “Even after we find the Holocron and everything, no matter where you go, I’ll be right by your side and kiss you better when you get your ass beat by some monster somewhere.”

“Can’t wait,” he says with a chuckle and a kiss to your head, then wishes you good night, hugging you impossibly closer to him.

#goose feathers #cal kestis x reader #star wars cal x reader #jedi fallen order x reader #star wars x reader

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animatedjen · 2 months

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Cal slipped.

Rock shattered under his foot and skittered down towards the treeline below. His knee and face took most of the impact, crimped handholds biting against his fingers. On his back, BD readjusted his grip with a whir of concern. Twice he’d told Cal this idea was stupid, both times after Cal fell into loose shale while approaching the wall. After that the droid hunkered down and kept his opinions to himself, if only to prevent throwing Cal off balance.

“It’s okay buddy,” Cal grunted the assurance as he looked for new footing. He tasted dirt and maybe blood, his arms were completely spent, and yet somehow it was the best Cal had felt in weeks. He shifted his hips lower and let his weight settle over his left foot, then inched his right up the wall to another toehold. Not great, but it should be enough.

He'd first found the crag while exploring with Mosey. “This path would take us all the way round Raider territory ‘cept for that bluff in the way,” she explained, steering her nekko away from the large outcropping. Cal remembered looking it over, instinctually tracing a line up through the various shapes and grooves in the basalt rock face. A project for another time, after they found Tanalorr.

Now halfway up the cliff, Cal can’t think about hidden planets or fallen friends or a looming Empire. All he can do is inch sideways and slot his hand into a nearby crevice, adjusting until the meat of his palm is wedged firmly into the gap. The next hand follows, then he finds his feet. Instinctually Cal matched his breath to each movement, a soft inhale followed by a deep hiss of an exhale. It’s a form of meditation that he’s never truly found while on the ground.

At the temple he climbed everything. The other younglings in his creche turned it into a game, pointing out interesting walls or columns that could potentially offer a challenge. Wynne once dared Cal to climb to the top of the Archive without touching the floor, and he made it over the railing and onto the second story bookshelves before a bewildered librarian sounded the alarm. His punishment was to dust those same bookshelves, which was wildly boring aside from the ever-present audience: Cal made sure every passing Jedi knew why an eight year old padawan had been assigned cleaning duty. Master Catrine called him a tree-goat and it became Cal’s nickname for the rest of the year.

Learning more of the Force only improved his physicality. Master Tapal had taken one look at his tiny human padawan, bouncing around the halls of the Albedo Brave, and immediately added aerobatics to the training regiment. “You won’t be able to overpower your opponent,” he would say while Cal learned to dash across walls and flip higher into the air. “Use your size and speed to maneuver through your surroundings, adapting to the environment and using it to your advantage.”

Years later, Cal scaled the hull of a half-scrapped Star Destroyer faster than anyone on his shift. The rusting, jagged pieces of metal were nothing like Venator-class training halls or the trees in the Temple meditation gardens. These ships were covered in tragedy, rotted by war and the incessant Bracca rain. He learned to climb with rigging gear, climb with too many pounds of scrapper kit, climb with gnawing emptiness in his stomach and torch burns across his knuckles. The Force was no longer an aid, only a dull, haunted reminder of his past. But years of training were etched too deep into his muscles to be completely forgotten, and the Guild valued those skills enough to employ a destitute liability of a child.

Above, two relters cut across the late afternoon sky, their shadows racing each other along the rockface. Cal tucked his knee against a well-placed indent and ground his foot into the wall until each side felt secure. The kneebar in place, he released his hands with a sigh, shaking out tension and letting the breeze wick away sweat. Guilt gnawed at Cal’s consciousness– he should be at the saloon with the others, helping pack supplies for their next trip through the abyss. The Raiders would likely be wiped out by the Empire anyway, and that’s a problem that no new climbing line can fix.

The Force hummed softly. Cal continued to the end of the fissure, finding another rest point just off to the side. He pressed a hand against a flat portion of the wall, testing its integrity.

“Ready BD?” he called. One beep later, a metal spike launched over Cal’s shoulder to his waiting hand. It would’ve been easier to rewire the entire Mantis than convince BD to swap out his stim canisters for pitons, but Cal didn’t want to risk losing any of his hardware mid-climb. He lined up the spike and let the Force gather around it, then with a Push drove it into the wall. The impact echoed across the treeline below with a satisfying boom.

That was the last piton, BD trilled as Cal added a carabiner. Leaning back, he checked the dangling rope below, tracing it through the previously embedded spikes. Everything’s holding. He checked in with his body. Everything’s hurting. Great. A stim would’ve been nice right about now.

The rope was threaded up and through the final anchor as Cal scouted the last section of the ascent: two sloping holds and a column that juts up over the top of the cliff. He moved his hands to each sloper, mantling up and to the side until there was enough space for his heel to meet his hand. Both hands shifted to the left sloper, and his other foot met them there. Slowly, achingly, he rotated upwards.

BD launched from Cal’s back with a whoop, his thruster carrying him just high enough to disappear over the cliff’s edge. Immediately the whirr of his scanner filled the quiet evening air. Cal laughed despite his weariness, reaching up to grab an edge on the column. Another reach, another foothold, and he had made it. Scrubby grass poked out from gaps in the basalt while thick clouds silhouetted the distant rock formations in pink and gold. In the valley between them lay Rambler’s Reach, just barely outlined in the sunset.

Everyone Cal loved was in that tiny speck of a settlement. Everyone else was gone. He sunk to the ground, keenly aware of each complaining muscle as he wiped the dust off his face. BD finished scanning and joined him at the ledge.

“What a view, huh BD,” Cal said quietly. Together they watched the rest of the sky fade to dusk.

–

One relter ride later, Cal was collecting leftover gear at the base of the cliff when nekkos trotted up from the ravine. Mosey emerged first, a lantern swinging from her pack. To Cal’s surprise, Merrin was following her.

“We thought that was you,” Merrin said, dropping from the nekko to greet BD. He immediately asked if she brought stims. “Toa and Zee set up a telescope on the roof of Pyloon’s. We wanted to see what was drilling into the mountains. Thankfully, just a Jedi.”

“Shoot, you really sent that.” Mosey was staring wide-eyed at the rock face, the rope carving a thin brown line to the top of the outcropping. “Incredible. I knew you were good in a fight Cal, but this is something else.”

“With the anchors in place, you should be able to add additional aid,” Cal said. “Make it as easy to climb as possible.” He imagined Turgle dangling from a rope ladder while somehow completely wrapped in another rope ladder. “With some help,” he added.

“This could be huge.” Mosey examined the approach, kicking shale and other loose rocks to form a potential new path. “What’s the backside look like?”

“Not sure, there wasn’t enough light by the time I got up there. But–” Cal glanced over to Merrin, weighing her expression. “We could probably get a rappel system set up, if we stayed on Koboh a little longer.”

Merrin tilted her head. “You said we should establish the Sanctuary as soon as possible,” she said. “Staying on Koboh would delay that.”

“That’s right." The gnawing guilt crept back to his mind, and immediately he wished he was back on the wall again, which only increased the guilt.

“But,” Merrin cut into his thoughts. “Our goal is to help those who need it. That includes the people here.” She looked up at the cliff, now a shadow against the emerging stars. “I think a new pathway away from Raiders and Empire could be very helpful, and would give Greez time to finish packing the saloon. He’s collected too many trinkets these last few years.”

The dust was back in Cal’s eyes again. “Would that work for you, Mosey?”

Mosey grinned. “Sure does. It might even be fun.”

#not my usual contribution to the fandom but wanted to try something different!#and any excuse to shove rock climbing into my creative hobbies because it's my other favorite hobby #star wars jedi survivor #jedi survivor #cal kestis #bd 1 #mosey cimmaron #merrin #nightsister merrin #jen writes jedi stuff

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frost-queen · 1 year

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I’ll risk it all for you (Reader x Cal Kestis)

Requested by: anon, Forever tag: @missmelodramatic, @theletterhart, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly, @denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco @idkwhatmyusernameis, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr

You carefully looked where you stepped. Everywhere nothing but green. Kashyyyk was the planet you were on to find a Wookiee chieftain named Tarfful. – “Keep up Y/n!” – Cal called out, turning briefly to you. – “Scared I’ll fall behind?” – you responded with mischief in your eyes. Cal shook his head childishly, mocking your ways. He puffed loud, turning back to the front. His eyes widened when his foot took a step forwards. In a split second wrapped a rope around his ankle, shooting him up in the air. BD-1 having jumped off his back. Cal was hanging upside down, waving his arms around.

You came closer, laughing your ass off. – “How’s it hanging?” – you asked lowering yourself with a tilt of your head to smile at him. Cal slowly swinging from side to side. – “Can you cut me down?” – he said irritated. You gave him a gentle poke in the chest, letting him swing a bit more, thinking. – “If you say pretty, please.” – you responded. – “Y/n!” – Cal groaned trying to pull his chest up with little success. – “I didn’t hear you say please.” – you made clear, holding your hand behind your ear. – “Can you for one second not be irritating?” – he already felt his blood lower to his head, making him dizzy.

Shrugging your shoulders, you straightened your posture again. – “Bye Cal.” – you waved him goodbye, taking your leave. Cal pressed his palms against his eyes, groaning. – “Okay, wait!” – he forced out, hand stretched out to you. Curling up a smile, you returned to him. – “Yes Cal.” – you asked keeping him still as you let yourself bend down to meet eyes with him.

“Can you please cut me down…” – he asked. BD deliberately not interfering with your bickering. – “Sure.” – you answered. Pulling out a knife, you cut down Cal. He dropped with a loud thud, groaning at the sudden pain in his back. He came sitting down, untying the rope from around his ankle. – “See that wasn’t that hard, was it?” – you said out loud. Cal’s face stood sour, BD approaching. The droid hopped onto his back before he got up. You took a few steps, pausing to look at Cal behind you.

“You might want to be careful; I hear there are boobytraps here.” – you teasingly exclaimed. Cal walked up to you, giving you a hard nudge. Making you nearly lose your balance. – “Very funny.” – you called out waiting to see his response, but there never came one. Following close by, you kept your eye out. You had been lucky to have not encountered any stormtroopers on your way. The war on Kashyyyk not being a pleasant one. Stepping up your pace, you took the lead. Taking a halt at a cliff. Cal coming to stand beside you.

Hands on his hip he took a deep breath. He spotted a vine not that far, pulling it closer with the use of the force. – “So you want to go first or would you rather have us swing cozy together?” – he wiggled with his eyebrows making you roll your eyes. Cal shrugged his shoulders, taking a few steps back. – “BD, hold on.” – he said over his shoulder, gripping on tight to the vine. He started running, setting himself off at the cliff to jump across. You watched as he swinged in perfect balance across, landing steady on his feet.

He turned around waiting for an applause. You clapped briefly for his ego with a sarcastic smile. He gestured to you to be ready to catch the vine. Pulling his arm back, he let it swing hard back. You caught it, grabbing around with your hands to be certain you’d have it. Cal motioned for you to come. Taking a deep breath, you took some uncertain steps back. Running up to the cliff, you squealed loud at the drop off. The vine swung halfway across the cliff when a blaster shot fired your way. It missed you, hitting the rocky wall.

Cal’s eyes widened, turning to where it came from. Up on another cliffy part, he noticed three stormtroopers. The sudden attack had startled you that much, you’d forgot to jump. Swinging above the deeps, slowing down with each swing. – “Cal!” – you called out in a panic, clamping onto the vine. He gasped loud, eyes wide with fear as you were a clear target now. You screamed, ducking a bit when blasters fired your way, missing you by a few hairs each time. Cal tensed his jaw, stretching his hand out upwards.

He felt the strong push of the force, but the stormtroopers were too far for him to do any good damage. His eyes stood grant when a shot went your way. He forced his hand forwards, hitting you with the force. The vine got swung hard back to avoid being hit. You called it out, swinging hard back. There wasn’t much he could do. He needed to think quickly to avoid any concerning troubles. – “Y/n!” – he shouted. – “Hang on and when I tell you to, you let go and leap forwards.”

“What?” – you panicked at how ridiculous dangerous that sounded. – “Just trust me.” – he said in return. You nodded shakily as Cal used his way to make the vine move. You got blasted back, making you swing back. Blasts firing above your head. You went one more back, till you swung strongly back. – “Now!” – Cal shouted running up to the edge. You let go, jumping as you blind fully trusted Cal. Cal held his arm out for you to catch. Your fingers brushing over his lower arm down to his hand in the hopes he’d catch you.

A blast fired Cal’s way making him flinch. You gasped loud, feeling your fingers brush against his, nothing afterwards. – “No!” – Cal screamed out; hand reached out down when he saw you fall. Your screams dying out down the pit you were falling. Cal got up, taking no second to dive headfirst after you. Hand stretched, wanting to reach for you. You had no idea what was below, eyes fixated on Cal who desperately tried to reach you. Light as a feather, you closed your eyes waiting for the worst. Then your back crashed against something hard, followed by wetness.

Cal fell down into the waters, reaching for your body under water. You felt an arm go around your body, being pulled to the surface. Cal and you gasped above water. – “You okay Y/n?” – he asked worriedly, one hand pressed against your wet cheek. You splashed water in his face, confusing him for a second. – “What were you thinking!” – you called out furious. – “What?” – Cal replied confused. – “Why’d you jump so recklessly after me!” – splashing more water at him, you were angry that he would do something that stupid.

“I don’t know! I just did!” – he shouted back, getting as equally worked up as you. – “You could’ve been killed!” – you called out, arms trembling from the raw emotion. – “So could you!” – Cal responded loudly, staring intensely at you. Both holding that fierce gaze even when BD beeped loud on Cal’s back. Cal and you puffed, looking away. The two of you swimming to a little green island. Cal shook his leg in an attempt to dry it faster. You squeezed the water out of your clothing. A deep sound came from the caves not far from the little island you were on.

It made you stumbled back against Cal. Cal holding you by the shoulders. – “Don’t tell me you are scared Y/n?” – he smirked, looking over your shoulder down to you. – “I am. Not.” – you confidently replied. Another sound made you shriek, clamping onto Cal. – “What was that Y/n?” – he laughed, all smug looking. You looked frightened around. – “It’s probably one of those spider creatures.” – he teased. Your eyes widened frantically, making you almost jump into his arms. Not wanting to be on the ground if it was. Cal laughing louder than ever at how needy you were. – “This isn’t funny Cal!” – you said rudely. – “You know I am deadly afraid of those things.”

“I know.” – he whispered in your ear, unable to hide the power it gave him. You pushed yourself off Cal, having a shudder go down your spine. – “It is probably nothing, Y/n.” – he reassured you. You weren’t so sure. Cal pointed at the caves as it was the only way away from this place. Swallowing nervously, you followed quietly. Darkness embraced you like a cloak when you entered the cave. BD turning his head lights on to light the way.

Cal extracting his saber as it gave a faint light, reflecting against his face. Looking over his shoulder, he made sure you were close by. BD bleeped curiously, his lights beaming off the walls. Venturing deeper into the gaping cave’s mouth. You reached out to Cal, startling him. – “It’s just me.” – you said nervously. He took a deep breath, taking your hand. Guiding it to his belt where he insisted on you taking a hold off. This way he’d know you were close. Cal lowered his lightsaber when he came at an open space. Light from above falling into the pit. BD’s light dimming.

The sunlight making you close your eyes for a second to adjust to it. Cal took a moment to observe. – “We can climb up right there.” – he pointed out. Not hearing you response, made him look down to his belt. Your hand wasn’t on it anymore, making him lift his head back up. – “Y/n?” – he said concerned, looking around. He found you standing not far from him, standing stiff. He walked up to you, tugging on your arm.

When you wouldn’t move, he knew something was wrong. BD bleeping warningly, making him look up. From a hole lighted up a few eyes. Cal gasped watching one of those spider creatures crawl out of it. His eyes widening, knowing how much you feared them. He pulled you behind him. – “BD! Stay with her!” – he ordered. The little droid jumping off his back. Cal readied his lightsaber with a twirl. He was about to launch forwards when he spotted another one coming. Soon three or four more came crawling out, making him back up.

BD jumping warningly in front of you to move. You backed away, falling over a rock. – “Get back!” – Cal called out, waving his lightsaber around. BD moving frantically in front of you daring one to even come near you, for he would protect you till his last bleep. Cal launched forwards, striking his lightsaber at one of the spider creatures. Needing to keep his eyes on the others as well. From the corner of his eye, he saw one make his way over to you. Cal spun around, pulling the creature back by the way of the force. Gritting his teeth, he let it drop near him, sticking his lightsaber through it. With three at a time where they hissing and tapping their front legs forwards to Cal. Your heart beating out of your chest, too scared to move. Cal rolled back to block one’s path to you.

He fought them fiercely knowing how much it meant to you. Ready to fight them off for you. He struck another one down as two more appeared through the crawling space. One running rapidly over to BD and you. Your eyes wide with fear. BD electrocuted it as it only stung a bit. Cal shot his hand out, forcing it to be dragged back. He gasped when something sticky wrapped around his hand.

The spider creatures fighting back. Moving his hand down, he started tearing it off. Two more spiders hissed their web his way. Making him drop his saber, hands bound together. Inhaling sharply was he now defenseless. They started surrounding him as he struggled to get free. Your eyes fixated on Cal, hearing him struggle. The urge to help him screaming louder inside of you. But what of those creatures you feared for so long. BD hopped on one foot, the other sticking to his body with a web.

Slowly your friends were endangering themselves. Taking frantic breaths, you needed to act now. Something snapped inside of you, seeing them tackle Cal to the ground. Jumping up, you screamed it out, blasting at them. Cal turning his head in surprise at you. You kept firing, screaming out your rage. The spider creatures got several hits. One lost it’s leg as another one had pus trailing down it’s body. You got closer to them, acting on adrenaline to save your friends then to give in to your fear.

One exploded making Cal roll away. They started backing away to the hole they came from. You wouldn’t let them escape, taking your revenge on them. One by one shooting them till they died or exploded. Out of breath, you lowered your blaster. Cal frantically freeing himself to get to you. Knees buckling, they gave in, letting you drop down. Cal rushed in front of you, taking you by the shoulder. – “Are you okay Y/n?” – he asked worriedly.

You let your hand rest against his cheek, catching your breath. Cal’s gaze moved rapidly over yours, taking a deep breath. – “You… you fought them Y/n… you actually fought them…” – he said half smiling. Touching your cheek he was very proud of you. – “Why? What made you overcome your fear?” – he asked. – “You…” – you responded. – “I couldn’t… I couldn’t watch losing you.” – you added, pulling yourself a bit up by his uniform.

Cal let his finger brush against your cheek, sucking in a deep breath. Leaning in as he pressed his lips onto yours. Moving his hands to your lower back, pressing you closer to him. You kissed him passionately back. BD bleeping made you pull away. Cal got up to retrieve his lightsaber. You smiling admiring at him. He noticed it, chuckling. – “Are you going to continue drooling over me Y/n? or are you actually going to be helpful?”

You gave him a roll of your eyes. You walked up to him, standing near him to look upwards. – “It’s a pretty high climb.” – you stated. Cal moved his hand around your back, pulling you towards him. – “I know.” – he whispered before stealing a kiss from you. You gave him a playful slap for being so silly. – “Lucky for you, I can get us up in no time.” – he answered walking up to the wall. You followed, pushing him back with your bottom against his front.

“I go first.” – you insisted. Cal smirking. – “Of course you are.” – he chuckled. You started the climb as Cal was right behind you. – “Eyes up Cal!” – you called out. – “Oh they are up.” – he replied mischievous. You looked down seeing him look up to you smiling. Rolling your eyes, you knew he was just enjoying the view. In no time were you back up to continue your search for Tarfful.

------------------------------------------------------------

Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!

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workersolidarity · 24 days

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[ 📹 Al-Jazeera Arabic publishes new footage of desperate, starving Palestinian civilians in northern Gaza being shot and killed in cold blood by Zionist snipers who targeted the civilians as they attempted to retrieve food aid that was air dropped into Gaza a distance from where the group had been gathered, a direct violation of International humanitarian law and a crime against humanity.]

🇮🇱⚔️🇵🇸 🚀🏠💥🚑 🚨

ISRAELI OCCUPATION FORCES CAUGHT OPENING GUNFIRE ON STARVING PALESTINIANS ON DAY 182 OF GENOCIDE

On the 182nd day of "Israel's" Special Genocide Operation in the Gaza Strip, the Israeli occupation forces (IOF) committed a total of 5 new massacres of Palestinian families, resulting in the deaths of no less than 54 civilians, mostly women and children, while another 82 others were wounded over the previous 24-hours.

According to Gaza's Ministry of Health, many victims remain trapped under the rubble of buildings they were sheltering in at the time of being bombed and shelled, who, although presumed dead, are unable to be reached due to the IOF actively blocking paramedic and civil defense crews from reaching the sites of Israeli attacks.

Meanwhile, in an unusual move, the McDonald's corporation will be buying the entirety of the Alonyal McDonald's franchise In "Israel", which includes a total of 225 stores, employing approximately 5'000 Israelis.

McDonald's CEO Chris Kempczinsky said the franchise has seen "meaningful business impact" as a result of boycotts and protests organized by the BDS movement against the Israeli franchise, along with other McDonald's chains, after the Israeli franchise announced it would be offering free meals to Zionist soldiers committing a genocide in the Gaza Strip, beginning after the events of October 7th.

McDonalds added that it “remains committed to the Israeli market and to ensuring a positive employee and customer experience in the market going forward."

Sales growth for the McDonald's division of the Middle East, India and China were down significantly, with sales growth for October-December at just 0.7%, well below the market expectations of 5.5%.

Similarly, sales for Starbucks, another U.S. company which has deep financial ties to "Israel," while the leadership of the company holds an openly Pro-"Israel" stance, has also seen significant harm to sales due to boycotts and protests, prompting CEO Laxman Narasimhan to state back in February that Starbucks had seen an "significant impact on traffic and sales."

Meanwhile, the Zionist entity's authorities released a total of 101 Palestinian prisoners from Gaza who were kidnapped and detained by the IOF during its war of genocide in Gaza, many of whom showed signs of torture, and included some prisoners who were taken during "Israel's" raid of the Nasser Medical Complex in Khan Yunis, in the southern Gaza Strip.

Meanwhile, occupation warplanes bombarded agricultural lands in the vicinity of the Salah al-Din Gate, along the Egypt-Palestine border in the city of Rafah, in the south of Gaza.

At the same time, the carnage of "Israel's" war of genocide in Gaza resumed on Friday, with renewed artillery shelling of the central and western Khan Yunis governate, while the IOF also resumed bombing on the southern Gazan city of Rafah.

Intense Zionist airstrikes targeted Sheikh Zayed City, in the north of the Gaza Strip, while the central governate of Gaza also saw renewed artillery shelling.

At midnight, Zionist fighter jets bombed several residential buildings in the Tal al-Hawa neighborhood, southwest of Gaza City, in the north of Gaza, while occupation forces directed an intense artillery bombardment on the southwestern and southeastern areas of Khan Yunis, in the southern Gaza Strip, as well as directing artillery fire on residential homes to the east of the Al-Maghazi Refugee Camp in the central Gaza Strip.

The resumed intense Zionist bombardments across the Gaza Strip led to dozens of deaths overnight, along with the wounding of scores of others, including women and children, many of whom remain buried under the rubble of their homes and shelters.

IOF jets also bombed several residential homes in the Batn al-Sameen neighborhood, located to the southwest of Khan Yunis, while also bombing the village of Abasan, to the east of Khan Yunis.

Elsewhere, Zionist forces withdrew troops from the eastern region of Tanzania, coinciding with the intense bombardment of the area.

Tragically, local paramedic and civil defense personnel recovered the bodies of of three martyred civilians from the town of Al-Qarara, to the north of Khan Yunis.

At the same time, Israeli occupation warplanes bombed various parts of the central Gaza Strip, including the areas of Al-Nuseirat, Al-Maghazi, Al-Zawayda, and Deir al-Balah, resulting in the martyrdom of at least 15 Palestinian civilians, and also wounding a number of others.

Zionist occupation air forces also bombed a gathering of civilians near the Abu Holi Junction, northwest of Al-Qarara, resulting in the deaths of at least three civilians and wounding a multitude of others.

Back in northern Gaza, in yet another horrific tragedy, occupation warplanes bombed civilian structures in the Beit Hanoun area, with a second strike targeting paramedic crews as they attempted to transport the dead and wounded to a nearby hospital.

As a result of "Israel's" Special Genocide Operation in the Gaza Strip, the death toll among the Palestinian population has risen in excess of 33'091 civilians killed, over 25'000 of those martyred being among women and children according to the United States Pentagon, while another 75'750 others have been wounded since the start of the latest round of Zionist aggression, beginning on October 7th, 2023.

#source1

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#videosource

@WorkerSolidarityNews

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breakfastteatime · 10 months

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Today's minific, 'Just breathe', is for @believe-in-alderaan!

“Just breathe, kid. C’mon, please. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll never complain about the mudstains your boots leave everywhere, or your ridiculous poncho collection. I won’t even complain about BD jumping all over my couch. Just breathe.”

Greez’s voice cuts through the darkness, and Cere is thrown suddenly and completely into consciousness. She snaps upright, stomach muscles wailing in protest, and finds herself on the deck of the Mantis, soaked through and bitterly cold. She looks over and sees a nightmare.

Cal, unconscious and bleeding.

Greez, performing increasingly desperate CPR.

Merrin, her magick winding itself into the wound running Cal through.

BD-1, nudging Cal and getting no response.

All of them, doing what they can to bring him back. Bring him back because he’s dead. He’s dead. Cal’s dead. He’s –

The dark side calls again, whispers of its power, promises it can defeat death if she just reaches out, uses its strength, and slams it into Cal, dragging him back, kicking and screaming if that’s what it takes. She can’t lose him, but she’s going to if she doesn’t reach out, doesn’t take hold of all the power she needs to keep hold of him for –

Cere pushes it all away. Cal gave everything for her, for her mission. She will not let it be in vain. She will not let him die, and she will not fall to the dark side to do so.

She is no Jedi Healer. It doesn’t matter. She moves to Cal, tells Merrin, Greez and BD to not give up, and reaches for him. He is so far away, the last tether keeping him out of the Force already fraying, but Cere is neither meek nor quiet. She’s not giving him a choice in the matter. He is not dying here, not for a path she put him on. He is not joining the Force, not today. She’s lost Trilla. She can’t lose him too. She grabs that tether and gives him a single command.

Just breathe.

She is thrown back into herself. The sound of someone coughing and choking fills the air. Cere moves, but Greez is ahead of her, grabbing Cal and rolling him onto his side. His body convulses as his lungs give up all the water he’d inhaled. Greez thumps Cal’s back, helping to clear his lungs faster. BD runs a scan and jabs a stim into Cal. He scans again, happier with the results this time. Merrin’s magick fades and she slumps, looking to Cere. Cere reaches over and holds her hand. She knows Merrin has done all she can. They all have. Cal is alive. He will heal.

They make quick work of patching him up, stripping layers of clothing to reach the wounds beneath. It is a vicious mark Vader inflicted on him, one intended to cause agony rather than death. Had they not escaped, Cere has no doubt in her mind what fate would have befallen Cal. It takes her breath away until the Force reminds her that is a what if, and Cal is alive and under her protection.

At last, their work is finished and quiet falls. The deck is awash with blood and seawater. Greez is the first to break, sobbing into two hands. BD-1 hurries to him, beeping comfort. Greez pets him with a spare hand, telling him it’s okay. He’ll be okay. Merrin holds out for longer, but she is not immune to the emotions crashing through the ship. Cere moves between them, tears mingling with the saltwater on her cheeks. The sounds of Cal’s ragged breaths fill the silence as they all sit and process.

“He’s alive,” Cere tells them, tells herself. Her voice cracks, breaks. “We did it.”

“We really did,” Greez says. He scrubs his eyes, reaches for Cal who remains unconscious. “Alright, kid. You get some rest. We’ve got you.”

“Yes,” Merrin says, weariness straining her voice. “We did not do all of that for you to give up now.”

BD-1 punctuates this with a particularly shrill trill. Cal does not react.

Cere reaches down, runs a hand through Cal’s hair, pulling the wet strands away from his face. He’ll be fine. He’s going to be fine. Looking up, her eyes fall on the holocron someone (Greez?) carelessly threw aside. Cere picks it up, puts it on the table, ready for later. She won’t open it. That’s for Cal to do.

Closing her eyes, Cere breathes.

#fic requests 2023 #star wars jedi: fallen order #jfo minific #jfo headcanon #cal kestis #cere junda #brb having more parental!cere feels than i know what to do with #greez dritus #merrin #the mantis crew

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wrencatte · 3 months

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mini-fic 3! Cere POV. linguist!Cal, Mantis Crew as Family, Merrin & Cal bonding 1.2k words

“This one?”

Cal squints at it for half a second, says “yes,” then looks back down.

“What about this one?”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t even look!”

“Greez, that’s the third time you’ve shown me that one.”

“No, it – oh, wait, haha, yeah it is. Okay. Let me see….”

Cere watches in fond amusement as Greez goes back to the shelves. Merrin comes over with a tome from deeper within the city library and angles it in a way Cal can look at it without straining his neck. His expression brightens and he takes it, running his fingers over the edges and corners.

There’s a slight twist in the Force that Cere’s beginning to learn means he found an echo. She has to focus pretty hard to feel it so she only pays it enough attention to be sure Cal’s not about to fall into anything nasty – not that she can do anything about it if he does, but she likes to be prepared – and tunes back into the softly murmured conversation between Merrin and Cal.

The Nightsister looks absolutely delighted at having found something in a language Cal doesn’t recognize, all quiet pride and subtle preening. Cere hides a smile behind her hand. Adorable. Cal flips the tome open and the two of them duck heads, Cal underlining a few words with his finger and saying something that Merrin repeats. He shakes his head and says it again. Her face twists in thought as she sounds it out before giving it voice and he nods rapidly, grinning. She smiles back, one of those small soft ones that pops up whenever it’s just her and Cal.

Cere is just about to go back to her own readings when Greez arrives, BD-1 whirling on his shoulder, a book held over his head in triumph.

“Ha! Try this on for size!”

Cal takes the book carefully. “I know this one,” he tells Greez, who groans in disappointment. “But, oh wow.” He flips through a few pages, lips moving as he reads the text silently to himself. “I can’t believe they have a book written in pre-Reformation Gwyrdd’tafodi. Do you know how rare that is? When they switched over, they deliberately destroyed all they could! An archivist hid this away for a hundred years in order to get it safely off the planet. It kept getting passed down the family line until one of them got passage on a ship.”

Greez crosses one set of arms, his free hands on his hips. He watches Cal fondly as the young Jedi’s excitement grows with every page flip. “You know, I would’ve never pegged you as such a gigantic nerd.”

“Jedi were scholars and peacekeepers before they were soldiers,” Cere says quietly. A hush falls on the group. Cal ducks down, shoulders hunching, eyes kept resolutely on the page though it’s obvious he’s not reading a single word. She smiles and adds lightly, “We’re all nerds.”

Cal laughs first, tinged with grief and legitimate delight. He tucks the book Greez brought under the one Merrin showed him, which makes Merrin throw Greez a smirk and for the latero to throw his crossed arms up in the air in a huff. Cere rolls her eyes fondly and catches Cal’s gaze. He grins, unrepentant, enjoying whatever contest is going on between their friends. It gets Cal more books without him getting up, so he’s not going to stop them.

Greez’s frustration is amusing to watch, especially when he snatches BD from scanning the book Cal has open so he can co-opt the droid’s database to help find a language Cal doesn’t know. It’s not helping. BD-1’s database might be filled with years and years of history and culture but knowing the intimate details of a language instead of just a simple dictionary is completely different.

Merrin listens to Cal read out loud for a few minutes, humming at all the right moments, but obviously thinking hard about something. Cere gives up on reading her book and focuses on the two of them, curious as to what’s going to happen next.

“How many languages do you know?”

Cal’s teeth click he stops talking so fast. “I don’t know,” he admits with a shrug. “Sometimes I don’t even realize I know a language until I see or hear it again. Sometimes not even then! It doesn’t always register it as a different language. It’s just…words I understand.”

She tilts her head, expression intense. “Could you learn Dathomiri?”

He grins and quips something in the smokey, gritty sounding language of Dathomir. Merrin’s eyes widen, and then, suddenly, they glimmer with a wetness both Cere and Cal pretend they don’t see.

Knuckles pressed to her lips, she breathes a very quiet, “oh,” before clearing her throat and adding roughly, “Your accent is terrible.”

“Is it though?” Cal asks smugly.

Merrin scowls. “I will teach you more…if you want to learn.”

Cal’s expression softens. “I would love to. Thank you for sharing it with me.” He adds something in Dathomiri at the end that has Merrin abruptly turning back to their shared book, expression pained and grieving.

Cere nudges the Nightsister with a tendril of the Force and gets a small smile in response. They don’t share the same bond as Jedi do, but theirs is enough for Cere to believe her. She settles back in her chair, musing on what her life has become, sharing a bond with a Nightsister, before she shrugs it off and fully intends on finally going back to her reading with Merrin and Cal’s back-and-forth as a background noise.

Except Greez comes back again, the book he carries is much thinner than any of the ones stacked around Cal like a barrier. BD-1 clicks excitedly and Greez is grinning smugly as he waves the book in the air.

“Did you know this place has an unknown language section? Guess who found it!” he all but brags. Merrin frowns, nose wrinkling while Cal laughs brightly and holds out a hand for the book.

Greez slaps it in his hand, earning a scandalized look from one of the librarians. Merrin and Cere laugh as he hunches down with quick apologies. Cal inspects the book carefully. If there are any echoes, they’re soft and quick. He grins.

“Congratulations, Greez, I don’t know this one.”

The latero cheers silently, all four arms thrown up in victory.

Merrin rolls her eyes. “You still lost. I found one first.”

Cal hums. “Best two out of three? This place is open for another five hours.”

The two of them exchange looks for a full second before Merrin jumps out of her chair and rushes into the depths of the library. Greez yelps and follows her as fast as he can without running. Cere hides her face, as though that will keep people from realizing they’re with her. Cal laughs, covering his mouth with his book. His eyes peek over, glittering in mirth. He pulls the book away, and holds it to his cheek, leaning in like he has a secret. Cere can’t help but lean in to hear it.

“I already know the language,” he admits.

Cere blinks at him then laughs loudly – nearly getting them kicked out of the library.

#cal kestis #cere junda #nightsister merrin #greez dritus #sw jfo #jfo fic #mantis crew #my writing #there's an alt version of this that's more bittersweet and 200 words more #it brings in the Order of the Dai Bendu and the Dai Bendu language #I just couldn't decide which version I liked more and went with the funny one instead #if anyone wants me to post the other version lemme know #that's if someone reads this far into the tags lol #i need to figure out how to get these onto ao3 #i don't want individual stories but i haven't posted a drabble/ficlet fic in a long long time #and even then the last one i did were full 5k+ oneshot chapters #oh well #imma stop talking now

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clubdionysus · 3 days

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[BAD DECISION #6] Wishing

warnings: i like to call this a montage chapter - it gets us through the entire summer :) gym trips! dionysus nights! jaykay being sexy in the gym! dynamic and friendship solidified!

soundtrack: c'est la vie - ethan surman; my type - brb.; happiness - the 1975

wc: 6k

bd total wc: 540k (on-going)

minors dni | AO3 | series masterlist

The scowl on your face as you reach the gym prevails. You've a coffee in one hand - ice americano, double shot - and the hood of your sweater is bunching around your shoulders. You lift it over your head, and push the swing door of the gym open with your shoulder, wanting to avoid the unwanted eyes of Jiyeong, just in case she's working.

You don't look over to the reception, but the lobby is empty, regardless. It's quiet, always a little less busy in the morning than it is in the evening.

You make your way to the gate of the gym. Punch in the code. Get it wrong. Tell the keypad to 'stop being a prick'.

You try again, exhaling a weighty sigh as you do so.

There's a whir as it works this time, hinges clicking open for you. The metallic clang of gym equipment and grunts of burly men cloud the air, battling with the voice in your head for the title of most annoying sound. Always have to win, don't you? Couldn't just take a loss!

It's a flaw; one that you'll admit to, but one that you wouldn't change for the world. A little bit of drive is good, even if you do drive yourself up the wall more often than not.

Hood up, a pair of leggings and a sweater on, black high-tops tied in bows around your ankles, you look like death warmed up. There's glitter caught in your lashline, and your hair is still damp from your quick shower, but you've a point to prove.

And so, just shy of midday, your feet stomp heavily up the stairs, as thunderous as the look on your face.

It's not that you're actually mardy or moody at all - you're just hanging like an absolute bitch.

Whatever Jeongguk puts in those tiny purple shots is lethal. Writes you off every single time.

Admittedly, you had gone a little harder last night knowing that you didn't have work the following day, but that's beyond the point. Normally your hangovers aren't so bad, especially not when you drink water throughout the night - which, thanks to Jeongguk, you had been.

Jeongguk doesn't notice your arrival until you roll down onto the bench behind him. You're on your side, legs tucked up, just like you had been in your bed when his message had arrived in your inbox.

He's in shorts - black, finishing midway down his thigh - and a big baggy t-shirt. On his feet, he's matching with you. Black Chucks. The only difference is that he ties his around the front. His bows are double knotted and little lopsided, the white trims on the soles scuffed and well worn. He's got history in his hi-tops, and you wonder how it compares to yours.

There's a girl in the city who matches him, and it isn't you. You don't have the tiny 'J' scrawled into the rubber of your soles like she does. He's scratched out her initial on his sole.

Takes a little longer to erase it from his other soul, mind you. It's still there. Only faintly, but enough to make him trip over himself from time to time. S'why he always double knots. Harder to fall, that way.

There's concentration on his face, features perplexed as the weight he lifts forces him to exert more energy than he's fully ready for. His teeth are bared, face tight, brows tied in a pretty knot between his eyes. You can see why Jiyeong is so territorial. He's not a bad-looking bloke. Quite handsome, actually.

He exhales as he brings the weight down, resting it on the ground, chest heaving ever so slightly before he turns to look at you. His brows are still furrowed, but his eyes are soft as his body gets more comfortable and settles into a state of rest.

A breathly laugh graces his lips as he reaches for the towel by your head. He pays no mind to the fact your crown is resting upon it, whipping it from beneath you to dab at the sweat gathering on the back of his neck.

"I said bright and early," he smirks, knowing that you must be hating everything about this interaction.

"It's before twelve," you mumble, eyes closed, knowing that watching his dimples form would only make your tummy feel all light and vomit-inducing. You're too hungover for anything other than neutral sensations. "It is bright and early."

"You're basically asleep."

"The bet was that I'd be here, Jeon," you remind him, voice a grumble as you shuffle deeper into your position. "Not that I'd be doing anything useful."

You've a point. It's not one that he can argue against, and so instead he just shrugs and picks his water bottle up from beside the bench. He tosses a little back into his mouth, the stream of water running from the plastic opening and into his mouth with such precision that you're sure he must be an asshole deep down.

You don't buy the nice guy front. Only assholes look that good doing the bare minimum. You'll get to the bottom of his assholeness eventually, but not now. Not when you're this grouchy, and everything feels a little biased.

"C'mon," he says as he knocks his head to the side. "Treadmill. Walk with me. You'll feel better for it."

"I think I'll die," you tell him with so much certainty he can't help but laugh at you.

Still, he stands in front of you and waits for you to join him. Knocks his knee against yours. Kicks your shoe with his own.

He's patient, his eyes soft as they look down at what a sorry state you are. There's something about the way his lips purse gently that makes him feel like a safe bet.

You've no regrets for tumbling out of bed and catching the subway to meet him at the gym. Your head is killing, granted, but it would have been killing you at home, too. At least this way you can feel like you've actually done something productive despite the hangover.

"Trust me," he insists, holding out his palm. "It really will help."

And so you take his hand, letting him pull you up. They warm, and a little clammy, but you don't mind.

When you're finally on your feet, your eyes are level with his chest. He's broad, chest well defined even beneath the shirt. You try not to think about the fact you've seen him shirtless, but you can smell the scent of his laundry detergent, and it adds a whole new element to the enigma the Jeon Jeongguk is. Looking at him, you'd imagine a scent of musk - something woody, maybe. Instead, he smells like fresh blooms, sweet peas under summer sun.

You don't let yourself linger for too long, fearful of him reading into the way you can't seem to keep your eyes off him. He's just new. Something shiny. Fresh. Excitement amongst the mundane of a city you've grown tired of.

He reaches down to pick up your half empty coffee and takes a sip as he begins to walk away. "Tastes like shit."

You pull it back from him, and nudge his side. "Feels like crack cocaine. The Purple Starfuckers, man... they actually kill me."

"You're welcome."

Small talk peppers the walk down the steps - How are your friends? Get home alright? How was Jimin feeling in the morning? How long do you have to stay after closing time? - and flitters around the pair of you as you set your inclines. His is noticeably higher than yours, but you're not here to work out. You're here to win a bet - of which he keeps reminding you that you lost, and that you are, in fact, a 'loser'.

You just tell him to 'fuck off' in return.

He never does. Just smiles, beams all wide, teeth on display, nose a little scrunched, and says "sounds like something a loser would say."

Jeongguk is easy to be around. His company, his humour, the anecdotes he tells. They're delivered freely, revealed without pressure. No diamonds are being formed, but there's enough of them in your eyes when you laugh with him, regardless.

You reduce the ease of your interactions to your perceived lack of expectations he has of you.

There's security that comes with fucking someone's housemate. You're no longer a viable sexual conquest, and therefore you don't have to worry about an ulterior motive for your exchanges with Jeongguk. Jimin's been there, done that.

For Jeongguk to be hanging out with you, you think he must actually like your company. It's mutual. Reciprocal. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

There's a clear line drawn in the sand between the two of you, as you walk forward on separate treadmills. He matches your speed - slow and lethargic - despite his marginally higher incline, before offering you his water.

You hold up your coffee, but he shakes his head. "It'll dehydrate you."

You'd left in such a rush (and without any intent on actually working out) so had neglected to bring any water with you. Never mind the fact you stopped by the coffee place inside the subway station. Force of habit.

You're chronically dehydrated as it is. Danbi has to remind you that you need water, not just iced americanos to get you through the day. Sometimes you listen. More often than not, you don't.

"Sure?" you ask, aware that you don't really know each other well enough to be sharing drinks yet (despite the fact he'd already helped himself to your coffee) but he just nods. Doesn't really see it as a big deal.

"Don't backwash," he tells you as you're mid-sip, and it almost makes you choke the water straight back into the bottle. You refrain, swallowing it down, coughing slightly as you recover from your shock.

"Christ. Too late," you joke as you pass it back, before he makes some crude remark about how you've basically kissed now, and that 'you can't have your way' with both him and Jimin.

"Fuck off," you laugh. "For starters, Jimin and I aren't like, a thing. It was a one-time hook-up."

"Sure."

"Well, I mean, he tried last night," you shrug, looking up to the mirror ahead, finding Jeongguk's dark eyes already on you.

He doesn't look away as he says, "he did?"

"You served us, Jeongguk," you remind him. Your memories of last night are far clearer than they were of the night you'd actually hooked up with Jimin. "He wasn't getting me drinks just to be kind."

"You don't know that," Jeongguk pouts, though he's not sure why. He knows Jimin. He was definitely trying to get laid - but he's also his best friend, so he says, "he's a good guy."

"I don't doubt that," you agree, not wanting it to appear as if you're being over-critical of Jimin. You're the one who fucked him, after all. He's incredibly attractive, and you know that many people would consider themselves lucky to end their night with him, but you've fucked handsome men before. It doesn't really couldn't for all that much.

A fuck is just a fuck.

What we do in the dark has no bearing on who we are in the light of day.

"Sounds like you do," he assesses, but you dismiss it.

"Sounds like you're reading into it a little too much," you banter back, slowly learning that Jeongguk likes to do that. He overanalyses. You do quite the opposite.

Jimin could have a noble peace prize for all you care. Doesn't mean you've any interest in fucking him again.

The conversation dwindles on, you gradually upping the pace of your treadmill to the point where Jeongguk might consider it a brisk walk (though you'd argue it's a jog).

He's kind in the way he takes a second to think before he speaks, conscious of letting you finish your sentences, and also wanting to be sure of the words he articulates. Thoughtful. Mild-mannered. Nice, but not in a way that boring. Nice, in a way that feels safe.

By the time your legs begin to ache, the treadmills have been running for over forty-five minutes.

You've been too busy guessing the conversations between other strangers in the gym. Who they are; where they're going after their sessions. What they'd had for breakfast (and for some reason, Jeongguk would guess 'egg whites' without fail for every single person) and what they'd be having for dinner.

He mimics their voices, and you laugh along, adding a narrative. So many lives have been lived by the people around you, and not single one you get even remotely correct.

There's a burly man, bearded and broad, with a petite girl hanging on every word he says towards the far corner, and you decide that they're a couple.

Jeongguk thinks they're siblings.

Makes it a little awkward when the guy starts squeezing the girls ass mid-squat.

"Yep, no, maybe you're right," he cringes, face scrunching up, lip ring almost disappearing into his mouth as he does so. Unfortunately, he does also then begin to debate the prospect of them maybe being stepsiblings, at which point you threaten to push him off his treadmill.

"You watch too much porn," you tell him, and he can't even argue against it.

It's been a little while since his last situationship ended, and he's been avoiding bedding anyone new like the plague. Been keeping girls he thinks he could grow to like at arm's length. Safer that way.

"I watch a perfectly healthy amount of porn," he scoffs, but then bunches his face up, clearly not proud of himself for making such a declaration. He chooses to not share the fact that he and Jimin split a VPN bill for that purpose exactly.

You laugh with him, the topic moving along to the PG shows he watches instead, the Netflix shows you're both hooked on, and what you'd each chosen for your Vecna song (which also leads to him helplessly defending all of his Spotify playlists from your gruelling judgement ( Justin Bieber defined a generation and I won't listen to you talk shit about him.... And fuck off, Mad at Disney is cute! Cute! I'm never showing you my Spotify ever again. EVER.))

He mirrors you as you slow the pace of your treadmill, looking over to you after checking the time on the clock - 58:23. Longer than he'd expected you'd last. "Done?"

"Done," you nod.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like death?"

"Still?"

"Still," you nod. "Need a Vita500 and a nap."

"There's CU round the corner," he notes. "I'm now about to leave anyways. I'll come with you. You can get your vitamins, I'm gonna grab something to eat."

You nod, not minding in the slightest - but he mentioned food, and your stomach begins to grumble like King Kong atop the Empire State.

"Would die for convenience store ramyeon," you sigh, musing over one of the finest delicacies in life. Nothing beats instant jjajangmyeon, not even a home-cooked meal.

"Wanna grab some?" Jeongguk asks a little mindlessly, not thinking much of the offer. "I'll eat with you."

And so he does. The comfort born in the confines of the gym is nurtured over cheap food and even cheaper shots at one another in the form of banter. He's a lot of fun, you think. It's a shame he's always stuck behind the bar and never able to let loose with you in the club.

He texts you midweek to let you know he can put you on the club guest list, if you want. Save paying entry and queueing. You'd be mad to say no - and so you spend the next few days convincing your friends that another night out is a good idea.

It's not. Hoseok somehow ends the night without his shoes, and you wake up with an ache in your lower back from a guy who'd tried to be all sexy in his bedroom last night, failing miserably. Human bodies aren't supposed to bend in the way he insisted on positioning you in.

You ignore the slight burn as you head to the gym though, ready to pretend like Jeongguk's the bane of your life once more.

A routine is forming.

What started as a bet becomes a weekend guarantee: you will get shitfaced at Dionysus on a Saturday, and then you will chat shit with Jeongguk on the treadmills for the duration of your Sunday morning.

He never lets you off the machines until the scowl that you inevitably arrive with transforms into a subtle smile. Some weeks it's quicker than others, but one thing is for certain; your scowl will always fade.

By week three, he's already by the treadmills when you arrive.

"No napping today," he teases with a soft smile, making light of the way you always curl up on the bench behind him as he does his final few reps. He's already done with them. Got to the the gym fifteen minutes early to make sure he would be.

"Gguk," you groan, dragging your feet a little and yet still heading in his direction towards the cardio area.

The way his body swings around to look at you, a single brow raised, is like something out of a kid's cartoon. He's so animated and full of energy that it's hard to believe he was at work until five that morning. "What did you just call me?"

"Shut up," you mumble, crossing your legs and sitting down on the treadmill belt. It's quiet - this time of day is never busy - so you don't feel bad for hogging a machine that no one would be using regardless. "Everyone calls you that."

He hops up on his treadmill and sets an incline, while you let your body flop down on yours.

"You're not everyone."

"Be impossible to be everyone," you mumble, eyes closed, body shuffling into a more comfortable position - until the treadmill jolts, moving ever so slowly beneath you. The way you get up is akin to a cat being confronted with a cucumber, a small yelp leaving your lips. "Jesus, Jeongguk!"

He's smirking, as if hadn't been tampering with the buttons, shrugging. "Started by itself."

"You could have killed me."

"What a shame that would have been." He grins at you like a kid who just found a stash of candy. "C'mon! Up you get. I've got places to be. A life to live."

You scoff as you begin to walk forward, lowering the incline that he'd set it to. "You? A life? Seems unlikely."

"You know, you're incredibly hard to like," he assures you. You catch the challenge of his gaze in the mirror and simply shrug.

"Yet here you are, still trying to be my friend."

"Can't shake you off."

"You force me to come."

"I do no such thing."

"Ohhhh, disco baaaaall," you begin to imitate him, bringing your clasped hands to your heart as if you really are begging. You sound nothing like him, but it's kind of deliberate. The more ridiculous you sound, the more he'll laugh. "Pwetty pwease come to the gym and keep me company."

"I don't talk like that," he laughs at how whiney you sound. "And fuck off, I've never said that."

"So you don't mind if I leave?"

His hand reaches over and hooks into the hood of your sweater, as if you're a dog on a leash. His grip is tight. Ain't no way you're going nowhere.

"No, you're not allowed," he says sternly, but there's a smile on his face, voice dulcet as the command rolls off his tongue and sinks into your ear. "I'll get bored."

"See!" You laugh, and pay no notice to the fact his hand stays with an iron grip on the fabric of your sweater even after the joke has been made. He keeps it there.

"It's either I have you keep me company, or Jimin keep me company," he says with a shrug. "I've always got a second choice."

"Aw, but I'm your first choice. How cute."

"My god, I hate you," he says as he finally drops his grip on your hoodie, nudging your shoulder as you walk. He busies his hand, tampering with his incline, trying to make it seem like the touch was casual. Nothing to read into.

It's a debate the pair of you are able to have for hours; who hates who more, who hated who first, who's gonna hate who for longer.

It's not flirting as such, but it is a ruse. You deflect the fact that you actually really enjoy each other's company, using hatred as a measure of just how much you like one another. It's all very juvenile.

He tells you he hates you when you steal half of the cheese he buys for his instant ramyeon after the gym, and you tell him that you hate him every single time you show up at the gym. It's a win-win.

By the time week four comes around, you're surprised to find yourself considering signing up for another month.

You rarely use your membership - once a week, to be precise, and only for about an hour at a time. It does give you a luxury of freedom, though. Chances are you'll be able to find Jeongguk there, no matter what time of day it is.

You'd swung by one evening that week after work just to show him the painting someone did of breadfish, knowing that he'd be the only other person in the city who remembered something so ridiculous.

He'd been deadlifting at the time, a thick leather belt cinching the baggy shirt he'd been wearing, stopping you quite suddenly in your tracks.

Hands covered in paint, hair up, a pencil still tucked behind your ear, you're the most 'you' he thinks he's ever seen you.

Sure, he's seen you with your makeup all smudged after a night out, and he's seen you after far too many drinks deep, but he's never really had the luxury of a totally sober 'you'. The 'you' that other people get to indulge in.

The glitter on your lids is a little more subtle than he's used to - it's thinner, finer, a little pink in its hue - but still prettily in place. Sparkling under the harsh gym bulbs. It's nice to know you're a disco even in the daylight.

He finds himself holding the bar he's lifting for a little longer than expected. His eyes are on yours in the mirror. You've paused by the top of the stairs, eyes on his.

It had been the shock of how bloody tiny his waist is that had startled you first, the look in his eyes, second.

And it's that second surprise - a pleasant one - which stops you from doing anything else but staring. He's got car crash eyes, and you can't help but watch the disaster of the wreckage burn.

You can't even really take in the rest of his face, and it's a shame, for he's a sight to behold; lips ajar, the freckle beneath them covered by the shadow of his pout, brows furrowing together slowly.

The longer he looks at you, the more strained his expression becomes - until his eyes close, teeth clenching, body holding the weight until he can't support it for much longer. It drops, his body shaking as his chest heaves, the sound shattering the tension between the pair of you.

You feel bad for intruding; as if you've seen him in a way you were never supposed to. It's not like you walked in on him showering or anything as intimate as that, but it's been a while since a man has looked at you like, well, that.

Desire, passion? Sure, whatever. They'd looked at you with those in their eyes.

But Jeongguk hadn't been looking at you with either of those wants. At least, not a want for you.

He'd been pushing himself. Proving himself.

And while he hadn't been proving himself to you, you're reminded why you don't fuck anyone face-to-face these days. Eye-contact. It's too much. Gets you all hot and bothered.

And so while his chest heaves, eyes looking you up and down, a little unsure of what the fuck just happened, you do the only thing you can: distract him.

Behind your back is the breadfish canvas, so you bring it around, hold it in the air and smile as brightly as you possibly can. "Please tell me you know what this is."

He takes a second. Tilts his head, and then realises exactly what it's meant to be - a loaf of bread with a fish head and tail tacked onto the end. He's not seen it since middle school. Was the only one of his friends who found it fucking hilarious - and the way you're beaming makes him think that you were probably just as strange as he was, growing up.

Your mutual childhood strangeness is proven right. Transcends in adulthood, apparently. He sends you voice notes of him singing the breadfish song on loop for three days straight. You block him on 4 separate occasions.

Doesn't stop him from making sure the DJ plays the song on Saturday night. He'll take the blocking if it means he gets to see your smile just as bright as your disco ball eyes.

When Sunday comes, the look on Jeongguk's face as you tell him your membership is due to expire is hard to read.

His eyes, for once, don't give much away.

He's forbearing as he says, "you can't use your memberships expiring as an excuse not to hang out anymore. I'll still force you on hangover walks."

His stoicism fades as he tries to hide a smile when you ask him to wait by the door of the gym lobby. You renew your membership. Just for another month - just enough to keep him happy.

And so the routine continues. Saturday nights are reserved for Dionysus; Sunday mornings for the boy from behind the bar.

There's normally a gap of five or so hours between you saying goodbye at the club and hello at the gym.

Sometimes you go home from Dionysus with Hoseok and Danbi.

Other times, you end up in an apartment that's unfamiliar, with a man who's equally as unknown.

They're always nice enough.

Never nice enough to make you wanna stay the night.

On one occasion, you end up going home with another woman, instead. It's not unheard of, for you, just harder to come by. Your first experiences had been with women, and your dating history is littered with as many women as it is men. You don't subscribe to the idea of sexuality being a linear thing, far more content with just going with who feels right, not what feels right.

Naively, you'd put her on a pedestal, thinking you'd finally get a decent lay - but a drunk shag is a drunk shag. You still ended up leaving as soon as you could, orgasm not quite reached.

At this point, you figure it's a mental block. You never used to have this issue, but you also used to only fuck people you loved.

When the people you loved began to fuck you over, things changed.

You've too many rules now. Too many restrictions on yourself. You can never fully relax and actually enjoy sex for what it is.

The rules are never set in stone, but they always follow the same pattern.

Don't let yourself be vulnerable. Don't get fully naked. No kissing during sex. Absolutely no face-to-face fucking - taken from behind, or not at all. You'll give oral, but the second someone tries to reciprocate, you move it along.

How can you enjoy intimacy with another person when you won't let yourself be intimate?

There are just too many things that remind you still of him; things that will hurt your heart more than it already does when someone else takes his place.

And so sex isn't really sex anymore. It's a tool.

You use it to pretend like you're over everything that happened with your ex; as if you're in control of a situation that he created.

And so that's why Saturday nights are reserved for Dionysus: they're filling the space of date night. Sunday mornings in the gym? Filling the space of lazy morning fucks and brunch down by the lake near Hoseok's place.

Being busy with the gym stops you from making 11:11 wishes for him to show up at your door, and the nights in Dionysus stop you from looking for shooting stars to wish upon instead.

Instant noodles with a guy you barely know don't quite manage to make you forget about eggs benedict with the man you thought you might one day marry, but hey - it's something at least.

On the nights that Jeongguk knows you don't go straight home, he checks up on you; will text when his shift is up, again when he gets home, and one final time when he wakes up. He doesn't care for the semantics that come with double messaging. He isn't trying to impress you.

He knows what you get up to in the dark. What you do is your prerogative. He's more concerned about the lack of trust and faith he has in the people you do it with. Despite this, not once does he berate you for it.

Even Hoseok's made a dumb remark here and there about the fact you're 'getting around', but if Jeongguk's thought similar things, he doesn't let you know it. He's a good friend. One that you're lucky to have. Thank God you fucked his flatmate and not him, instead.

The illusion of you has slipped by this point, for Jeongguk. He knows you too well to toy with what-ifs.

You feel secure in the fact he's not trying to get into your pants; a rarity for dudes these days.

Even Jimin took the hint after you turned him down, and has become a welcome addition to your nights out. He's fun to flirt with, but he knows nothing will happen, so he never pushes it too far - but is also happy to be your cover when another bloke is getting too touchy with you for your liking. He's been your 'boyfriend' a grand total of three times, now - only ever for a night.

You're not too familiar with Jeongguk's other friends yet, but you sometimes get in on a round of shots with them. There are four usual suspects: Jimin, Taehyung, Namjoon and Yoongi. All handsome, all perfectly nice. None of them stick to you like glue, though. Not Jeongguk did.

Hoseok and Danbi have followed your lead, and consider the boys casual acquaintances; drinking partners for when they happen to be at the bar at the same time.

A dog walker by profession, Danbi always finds herself flirting with Taehyung, who tries his hardest to get a discount on her services. She always refuses.

Jeongguk and Yeonjun have a running bet going to see how long it takes until he's paying full price, just for an excuse to see her outside of a club setting. They've had to reset the bet twice, because Danbi might just be the most stubborn woman to have ever graced the planet.

Summer is spent in a technicolour haze of Purple Starfuckers, club lights, unorthodox gym routines and enough glitter to open a craft shop.

Jeongguk didn't quite know how, but he was always finding flecks of the metallic warpaint on his gym gear. He always has a little laugh to himself whenever he does the laundry. "Fucking Disco Ball."

It's early autumn by the time Hoseok and Danbi make their first appearance at the club without you.

He texts you - boo, you whore - and waits in the backroom of the bar until he sees a reply come through.

Busy tonight, your reply reads. It feels a little cold, but you don't mean for it to be. You're just a rush, and Jeongguk nagging you is the last thing you need.

JK: Busy doing what?

You: none of your business x

Despite the kiss you end your sentence with (he can hear the way you say 'mwah' the same way you do whenever you know you're being a little cheeky), it still feels... off.

JK: Oddly defensive.

You: i'm always defensive :)

You: lemme know when you get home safe

It's a simple role reversal, but Jeongguk isn't sure what to make of it. He's normally the one making sure you get home safe. Not the other way around. It's not a 'what-if' scenario that he's run through in his head before. He doesn't like it.

He likes being depended on. Has gotten used to you depending on him.

Pushing it to the back of his mind, he makes orders without much thought, too busy letting himself indulge in what-ifs. It's been a while since he's thought of any regarding you, but he's consumed by them, now. Where you are, who you're with. Why Danbi and Hoseok won't give him a straight answer when he asks. They say it's not their business, but the way Danbi gives Hoseok a grimace whenever the topic is mentioned would suggest she doesn't approve.

It's probably why you haven't told him. He wonders how bad it must be. Secrets aren't something really kept between the pair of you.

There are things he hasn't told you - parts of his past he'd rather keep buried - but he doesn't actively hide himself from you. He thought you did the same.

Apparently not.

He arrives home with no new message from you. It's five thirty, and even though he's a little pissed with the sudden change in your attitude towards him, he can't bring himself to take it out on you.

JK: I'm home, asshole.

JK: Dionysus ain't the same without a disco ball.

Tossing his phone down onto his sheets, Jeongguk stares up at his ceiling. There's never been a complicated weight to your friendship, but he's also never been in the dark before.

Above him, origami birds dance in the light breeze coming from his aircon unit.

There's a dozen strung up from his paper folding phase six months ago, when he was trying to get his mind off of the girl whose initial had been scratched out of the soles of his shoes. Thought that if she came back, she'd find the birds endearing.

Kept them up just in case. Now, he just keeps them up as a reminder: You've gotta let wild birds fly away. Can't keep them caged up.

And it's funny, cause the strings the birds hang from feel like a cage for his thoughts, now. They get tangled in the spokes, your name wrapping around the bars. He can't keep you in a cage, either. Can't expect you to be as you always have been with him, just because it's the 'norm'; can't expect you not to have a life without him.

You: does your apartment need one?

JK: A disco ball? Don't think so?

Truthfully, he thinks a little disco ball would be fitting strung up with all of his birds.

You: gaaawd, ur such a boy

You: i'm asking if i can come over :(

He tries not to read into the unhappy face, but it has him sitting up, replying just as quickly as his heart is beating. There's something amiss, and he doesn't like it.

JK: Oh. Now?

You: no, next week

You: yes now, doofus

JK: It's 5am?

He doesn't know why he's being like this. Difficult. Perhaps he is a bit bitter. Petty.

You: this isn't a booty call lmao, chill out

You: i'll be there in 15

JK: Do I get a choice?

He's smiling as he sends the message, and hopes you'll read it in the tone he intends. He's bantering, trying to deflect from the heaviness he can feel in your text thread.

He's relieved when you reply just how he hoped you would.

You: no x

JK: See you in 15, db x

AO3 | MASTERLIST | NEXT

#by holly #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook ff #jk #jungkook x reader #jeongguk fanfic #bangtan #jungkook fluff #bartender!jungkook #non idol au #bts fanfic #jeongguk fic #bad decisions #dappleddaisies

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depressedgarbages-stuff · 8 days

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#gazaunderfire #gaza genocide #free gaza #gaza strip #gaza #gaza under fire #gaza under attack #gaza under genocide #gaza under bombardment #all eyes on palestine #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #palestinian genocide #save palestinians #palestine #all eyes on rafah #jerusalem #tel aviv #iran

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buubsii · 10 months

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Lost and Found, C. Kestis.

Based on a ask i received yesterday!!

Cal swung his lightsaber recklessly, carnage following wherever he went; his comm-link beeped as Cere’s voice filled his ears. “Cal, Focus on the mission, we need to find General Tarfful, as soon as possible… Look kid, i know you want to find (Y/N), but the mission at hand is more important” Cere said to him, Cal dashed across a wall, Memories from a few weeks prior lingering in his mind.

[A few weeks prior to current events]

“(Y/N)!!” Cal screamed out as his lover was dragged onto the ship like a ragdoll, short cuts and scratches scattered along their face, Cal broke free from the stormtroopers holding him and found his lightsaber, he sprinted towards the ship taking them away, before he could reach it however, the ship ascended into the air, far from his; or anyones reach, Cal tore the storm troopers apart, they had killed Prauf, He wouldn’t let them hurt his beloved partner, a fellow Jedi who had fled with him to Bracca.

[Current time]

Cal cut through the thick jungle vines, his arms growing sore as BD1 chirped innocently “I wish you could have met her BD, she was the most gorgeous woman you would have ever seen….” Cal spoke softly.

As Cal got closer to the imperial base ahead of him, his mind started to wander, thinking of how ecstatic his lover would have been to discover the tomb’s with him, knowing how much they loved exploration, often dragging Cal with with her to explore the shipwrecks and the area they had to live in. It was little moments like that that kept Cal going, that even now continued to live in hope that there was some type of peace in the galaxy.

Cal reached the base and started tearing through the dozens of Stormtroopers and an occasional Purgetrooper here and there, when he felt it, a force signature.. Your force signature, so familiar, yet it feels… weak, unnatural compared to the usually strong and powerful force signature Cal would feel during your irreplaceable nights spent together on Bracca.

As Cal wandered through the halls of the Imperial Base your force signature grew stronger, as if you had felt Cal’s signature as well, Cal started running through the halls, blocking rogue blaster strikes and killing whoever, or whatever stood in his way of you… he ran through the halls and reached what appeared to be a cell, in it, you lay limp on a cot, the only sign of life being soft blinks every few seconds and the soft rise and fall of your chest as you breathe shallowly, your mouth opens, a soft gasp escaping your lips as Cal rushes into your cell, picking you up off of the table, and using his comm link to call Cere. “Cere!!” Cal spoke as he tried to find somewhere the mantis could land without being attacked. “Yes Cal! What is it???” Cere responded quickly to Cal’s sudden words. “I found her Cere! I’m gonna need you to bring the Mantis to my location, I'm sending it to you now, they're hurt, you need to be quick…” Cal spoke as he approached a suitable place for the Mantis to land and take off quickly.

The Mantis landed on the platform and the ramp slowly descended, Cal moved as fast as he could carrying you, he laid you on his bed as the Mantis took off, sitting just above Kashyyyk’s Atmosphere, Cal sat next to your resting body as he used Bacta spray on larger wounds and cleaned them with a clean rag that sat inside the med kit underneath his bed.

[A Few Hours Later]

Light footsteps were heard as you walked into the ‘Kitchen’ of the Mantis, Cal’s head whipped around to face you as he rushed out of his seat and hugged you, You winced and hugged him back. Cal nuzzled his head into your neck as you embraced him, the two of you walked backwards, towards the back of the Mantis.

They pulled apart as they sat on Cal’s bed, looking into eachothers eyes, “I missed you so much..” Cal spoke softly, leaning his forehead against yours. You connect your lips with Cal’s, choosing to express how you feel with actions not words. “I missed you too, my love.” you said, intertwining your fingers, with his, you yawned and let out a stretch, several joints making a popping sound as Cal stared at you, eyes full of admiration for his lover. “How about you rest (Y/N). These past few weeks have been… eventful to say the least, i’ll stay right here, i promise you..” Cal suggested, as you laid down he joined you, and he stayed there, remaining by your side even as you awoke.

Thanks for reading!! <3 Have an amazing day, my little shooting stars!!

-Izzy.

#cal kestis #cal kestis angst #cal kestis fluff #Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order #star wars #jedi fallen order #cal kestis x reader #x reader #cal ketsis #cere junda #starwars

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fanfoolishness · 8 months

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what we have now

Cal awakens on Tanalorr, and what seems to be a perfect day begins to go wrong. Post-Jedi: Survivor with spoilers. Rated PG-13ish for established Merrical. Angst, grief, hope, love, ~2450 words.

The morning light of Tanalorr filters gently through cracks in the temple ceiling, sending down soft, gold-edged rays through the small private chamber where he and Merrin have set up a room. Cal mumbles, rolling over on the makeshift bed and taking half the covers with him. Merrin is warm and sleepy beside him, her skin soft against his own, and he draws her closer, breathing in the sweet smell of her hair.

“We have slept in again, Cal Kestis,” she murmurs throatily. “I blame you, of course. You kept me from my rest.”

“Someone was awfully frisky last night, I seem to recall,” Cal yawns. He hardens slightly, remembering her insistent kisses last night, how she eagerly undressed him, her hands, her mouth, her --

He lets out a long breath. They have work to do this morning with the others, and he knows he shouldn’t let himself get distracted. No matter how much he might like to be.

“Still thinking about it, are you?” Merrin asks, amused. She rolls over and props herself up on one elbow, leaning over him. He drinks in the sight of her, soft gray skin and dark tattoos, a wicked grin. He bites back a groan.

Her gaze flicks back, and she peers under the covers with a knowing smirk. “Ahh. I like the way you think.”

“Hey, come on, now. We promised we’d check in,” Cal half-protests. “The Path needs us to get this housing ready, and we need to have that meeting with --”

The familiar sound of BD’s servos whirs as the little droid hops over to them, blithely ignorant of their nudity and innuendo. Cal sighs, drawing the sheets higher over Merrin and himself.

“Cal, my dear Jedi, you said you were going to teach the droid to knock.”

“I’ve been busy!” Cal says. Merrin simply raises one eyebrow and gives him one of those looks, the sort that makes his brain short-circuit and his pulse quicken. For a moment he’s tempted to tell BD-1 to come back later, that he’d made a mistake with the time and really the meeting with Cere was for tomorrow, not today.

But something disquiets him, a frisson rippling through the Force, there and gone before he can put a name to it. His arousal vanishes, and he looks away from Merrin, unsettled.

“Cal?” She sits up, the blanket falling down around her waist, the golden light bathing her skin in a warm glow. “What is it?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. Something felt… off. I’m not sure what it means.” He sighs. “Probably just guilt about how late we’re going to be. We’d better get going. Make it up to you later?” He gives her a small smile, and is gratified when she returns it twofold.

Cal sends BD-1 off to wait as they get dressed, but they meet him at the front of the temple, where he is waiting patiently for them. Cal bends to lower a hand and BD clambers up to his regular perch as they step outside into the fresh air. The glorious Tanalorr morning greets them with misty light, and brightly colored banners ripple from the temple in the breeze. Gardens stretch alongside the path, tall leaves fluttering in the wind, fruits and vegetables beginning to swell and show in colors of scarlet, violet, emerald.

The three of them travel through the gardens and back along the creekside path leading away from the temple. Merrin seems content, but Cal cannot help but look over his shoulder as they walk. There is only BD-1 there, cheerful and loyal as always, but there’s still a nagging feeling, something skittering at the back of his mind.

He tries to ignore it, his feet tracing the familiar trail alongside Anchorite Creek. They cross the new stone bridge, a beautiful melding of angular Jedha architecture with jeweled motifs unique to Tanalorr; the lilac-blossomed larien tree, the clever waterhare, the carvings of the Koboh Abyss. He always appreciates this bridge and the way his footsteps ring on the stone, but for a moment it almost feels like its solid arch tremors beneath his feet.

“Did you feel that?” Cal asks. BD lets out a beep in the negative. Merrin shakes her head.

“Feel what?”

“Nothing,” Cal says, stone solid beneath his feet, and he tries to believe himself. We’ve made a perfect world. What is there to worry about?

They meet back up with the others at the village, which is already bustling at this early hour. The sight cheers him, and his odd mood fades into the background. He takes a deep breath and smells the morning meal on the breeze, rich with spice; Pyloon’s of Tanalorr keeps Greez busy, even with several residents working with him as sous chefs. He and Merrin will have to stop in for a bowl of waterhare stew when they next get a chance.

They keep heading toward their destination, passing Narkis Anchorites working with refugees from the Hidden Path, raising another set of new residences. Cal nods to them as they pass. He recognizes some of the Anchorites from Jedha. There are new members of their order, too, only identifiable by the Tanalorr-lilac stripe they wear on their sleeves.

Not everyone wears the garb of the Anchorites; droids roll or walk along the dirt streets on their business, and plenty of people with bare faces wave as they make their way to the Archives. A few of the refugees he recognizes from his days as a Padawan, other survivors besides himself: a young woman with her dark hair in tight braids, a tall man with olive skin and piercing blue eyes. Pride unfurls in his chest, pride and a fierce protectiveness. They’ve built so much here. And there is still so much more to do.

Many of those who cannot help in the physical efforts of building work in the new Archives, cataloging their growing knowledge of the Jedi Order and its history, and it’s here they head, Cal keenly aware they’re late. That must be the reason he’s feeling off. He knows exactly which slightly disappointed look Cere will be wearing --

The smell of smoke, ash dancing in the flame-choked air, red and black --

Cal staggers, sagging against the door as it slides open. “Cal!” Merrin cries, slipping a steady arm around him. On his other side, a familiar man in robes braces against him, helping Merrin to keep him upright.

“Cal! Have you taken ill?” Master Cordova asks. Together he and Merrin lead Cal to a seat near one of the desks, where he bows over himself, breathing hard. BD-1 chitters at his shoulder.

“You don’t feel it?” Cal gasps. He holds out his hands, ash coating his fingertips. He doesn’t understand. “Look at my hands. There’s something terribly wrong --”

Merrin and Master Cordova look at his hands, but they seem worried, exchanging concerned glances. “I will get Cere,” says Merrin, and claps Cal on the shoulder, her hand squeezing him tightly against his jacket. “We will figure this out, Cal. Together.”

Cal looks down at his hands again. They’re clean once more, and his head reels. What’s happening?

“Tell me what you sense, Cal,” says Master Cordova, kneeling carefully beside him. His brown eyes, always so wise, seem troubled. Cal knows it’s because of him. He tries to center himself, reaching for the Force, but it feels muted and hazy, muffled somehow.

“I saw fire,” he manages. “Fire and ash.”

“A memory, perhaps sensed by your psychometry?”

“No, this didn’t feel like a normal memory,” Cal tries to explain. “It feels like it’s something that doesn’t belong here. Like something that isn’t real, that never happened.” He gazes around the room, drawing comfort from its soaring shelves of twinkling datapads, the silver globes lighting the hall, the sweet smell of larienwood incense. He tries to ground himself in the library, in all they’ve built here. “It couldn’t have happened.”

“It may have been a vision, then,” Cordova muses, getting to his feet and sitting down on the chair beside Cal. “The Force may be sending you a message of things to come.”

Cal shakes his head in frustration. He’s not a Padawan. “I know we can have visions from the Force, Master Cordova, but I always feel so tightly bound to the past. I’ve only had visions of the future in places where the Force is magnified and concentrated, like Ilum or Bogano…. The past has always been so much easier for me to access. This didn’t feel the same way.”

“Perhaps that’s changing,” says Cere. Cal lifts his head to greet her, and their eyes meet--

She’s so light in his arms. How could someone so powerful, so strong, be so, so still?

Cal recoils, panting. The smoke chokes him, blinds him, engulfs him. He’s lost in it, reaching for his lightsaber, finding nothing there. He cups his hands around his mouth, calling, hoping, begging. “Cere -- I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I should have been there --”

“You okay there, scrapper?”

Cal opens his eyes. The smoke has vanished as quickly as it had come, and the temple soars over him, golden daylight streaming through its windows. Bode gives him a broad, easy grin, smile lines crinkling at the edges of his eyes. Dagan’s lightsaber hums in his palm.

“This isn’t right,” Cal whispers. “It isn’t real --”

He raises a gloved hand. Imperial black against crisp ISB white. He lets the frantic rage shriek through him, a desperate eruption of pure hate boiling forth, he wants this, needs this, a weapon, he’s nothing but a weapon --

The temple shatters around him, Tanalorr shatters around him, and he remembers everything.

***

“Cal! Cal. Come back to me, Jedi,” Merrin murmurs throatily. He realizes her arms are around him, holding him tight against her chest, his cheek nestled against the soft skin between her breasts. Her twin heartbeats pulse in his ear, a metronome grounding him here, now, safe.

For a moment, they simply stay there.

“What happened?” she asks in a soft voice.

Cal reluctantly sits up, nearly hitting his head on the ceiling. They’re in the Mantis, back in one of the narrow bunks they insist on squeezing into together. He knows they could sleep separately, but neither of them like to do it anymore if they can help it.

“I dreamed of Tanalorr. The way it should have been.” His throat constricts, and it takes him a moment to steady his voice. “It was beautiful, Merrin.” He wants to tell her everything. The new Archives, the lush gardens, the voices in the streets; Cordova… Cere….

Instead he buries his face in the crook between her neck and her shoulder, and breathes in, and breathes out.

She strokes his hair gently, fingers twining through the strands that tickle the back of his neck. She presses a kiss to his forehead. “We will make it so, Cal. I promise you.”

“Maybe. I hope so. But she’ll never see it.”

Her fingers still, then shift for her hand to cup his cheek. She slowly lifts his chin until he’s gazing at her, her dark eyes bright. “No, she will not. That is something we cannot change.” She blinks, and a flicker of her own grief passes across her face, a painful mirror to his own. “I miss her too. Cere and Cordova both, but Cere… she was part of our family.” Tears glisten, unshed but unashamed, in her eyes.

They haven’t talked of Cere this openly in weeks, busy with fighting the Empire on Koboh and taking care of Kata. But now the loss is here, sitting in the space between their breath, and the wound aches so, so much.

Anger flares within him. How can his mind have given him so much detail of Tanalorr vibrant and growing, of a world where they’d truly won, and yet so little of Cere? When he would have given anything to see her again, to speak with her -- to apologize --

But he remembers how his mind had tried to tell him he was dreaming, and his heart sinks. He had known. Even in the midst of a dream that felt realer than real, he’d known.

There is no bringing Cere back, not even in a dream.

Cal swallows, feeling sick. It’s all a mess, and he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to feel about any of it. The Jedi Order would tell him to let it go, but the Jedi Order itself is dust and ashes, and he feels the feelings anyway, Order be damned.

Grief feels different now than it did as a child. It’s no less confusing than it was then, but back then he’d been so desperate to survive, so powerless to protect himself, that he’d shoved the feelings down as far as they could go. Now the feelings and the Force are both as powerful as they’ve ever been. He feels the Force crackling throughout him, body and soul, straining to be used. He’s healed his connection… but is that such a good thing, now? There’s violence poisoning his connection, an intoxicating rage, a searing hatred, the darkness…

He shivers, and he steps away from it, for now.

“I don’t know--” His breath hitches. There’s water tracking at the edges of his eyelids, a burn in his chest. “Even through everything, even when we were apart, she was always guiding me. And without her, I don’t know if I can be enough. For Tanalorr… for the Path�� for Kata….” Imperial black on ISB white. “For you.”

“You are enough for me, Cal Kestis,” she says, and he sinks back into her embrace.

“But the future --”

“Is what we can make of it,” Merrin says, her voice steely. “We will find the way together, you and I. That is how we will honor Cere and Cordova. And the Jedi, and my sisters. And if you stumble in the darkness, I will lead you by the hand; and if I do not see the path, your light will guide me.” She kisses him, her open mouth slanting over his, then pulls back. She blazes with determination, so beautiful he can hardly bear it. “Do you trust me?”

The world falls away, and Cal lets it. There is only this moment, shimmering between them. The grief and darkness will be there waiting for him when he returns, he knows that much, but for now, there is only Merrin. He takes her hand in his, and he knows that no matter what lies ahead, the two of them are bound together.

“Always,” he whispers.

She smiles, and the world feels perfect once again.

#merrical #cal x merrin #merrin x cal #jedi: survivor #jedi: survivor spoilers #tanalorr #jedi: survivor fanfiction #star wars #star wars fanfiction #my jedi fic

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stardustandash · 3 months

Text

Next on the Febuwhump docket: Too weak to move - Jedi Fallen Order for @pennflinn

I've always wanted to write a little Ilum whump, and you picking this prompt got that particular plot bunny going again! I hope you enjoy!!!

Words: 1,525

Tags: whump, hypothermia, no Jedi Survivor spoilers, exhaustion

ao3 link

Can't Go On

Everything is too much. The Force, the endless cold, the cries of the kyber as the Empire drills down into the heart of Ilum. Cal can feel it all dragging at him like the cold that has sunk into his joints and stiffened his movement. Maybe swimming his way through a frozen planet’s cave system wasn’t the smartest idea, but he needed his crystal. And now he has it and all he wants to do is lie down and sleep but instead he’s fighting his way through an Imperial mob.

Then he finds the room full of KX droids. Sure, Cal has a functioning lightsaber now, and he’s hastily modified it to split into two with the help of his new crystal, but he’s still just one rusty padawan against a room full of droids. Droids that have two feet and about two hundred pounds on him. He separates the blades, blocking the first one’s attempt to grab him while fending off a second with a slash towards its middle. The movement is slow, his joints hurt as he tries to get them to move with his usual amount of speed.

It's not big a problem though. At least, it isn’t a problem until the other droids in the room make their way over as well. Cal can usually dance circles around KX droids and their slow swings and stomping steps but this is different. Every move Cal makes is slower than the last, every swing of his ‘sabers falling later than they should. When one of the droids comes up behind him he can’t quite get his feet to move him out of the way before the KX droid has him by the throat. Cal scrabbles at its metal fingers as it lifts him from the ground. There’s a pause, then the droid is slamming him so hard against the ground whatever air is left in his lungs leaves in a strained wheeze. He has a moment of panic as he realizes he just landed on his back. His back where BD-1 usually sits. Then he hears angry beeping and a mechanical whirring noise.

BD-1, the hero that he is, has sliced the KX droid. Cal tries his best to scrabble out of the way as BD-1 pilots his new ride towards the other droids. The carnage that follows mostly comes to Cal as loud, metallic crunching noises. He’s only half paying attention as his highest priority is convincing his lungs that they do, in fact, know how to breathe properly.

Cal’s only halfway back to breathing when BD-1 screeches out a warning. He gets his blade up just in time, and slides between the legs of the KX droid standing over him and uses it to climb to his feet. Then he cuts its arms off for good measure. He spins, trying not to trip over his heavy, clumsy feet and throws himself back into the fray. T

Thankfully, BD has managed to get rid of most of the KX droids with the one he’s puppeteering. It doesn’t take much more effort for Cal to cut through what’s left until he and BD-1 are the only things moving in the room. BD-1 immediately scuttles over to Cal’s side and tosses him a stim. It feels a bit like cheating that he uses the Force to bring the stim to his hand, but Cal knows he isn’t going to catch it without its help. The adrenaline in the stim clears some of the fog from his mind, but it also makes the shrill cry of the kyber around him louder.

BD-1 trills at his side to ask if he’s okay.

“Not really, Buddy,” says Cal. “The Empire, what they’re doing here is awful.”

BD reiterates the question, this time specifying that he meant Cal’s personal wellbeing, not whatever-the-kriff Force nonsense was clearly upsetting him.

“I can get us back to the Mantis,” says Cal. I think, he doesn’t add. “I’m fine.”

His knees and ankles protest something fierce as they set off again. Of course, the door BD-1 manages to slice leads to nowhere but a single rope hanging over a dark chasm. Of course, Cal has to swing across it to keep moving forward. He pauses before swinging across. He tells himself its so that he can inform Cere that the Empire is on Ilum, that he’s been spotted and there could be trouble, but he knows it’s so that he can put off attempting a death-defying stunt while feeling at about half capacity at best for his usual tricks for just a minute longer.

He can’t feel the rope in his hands.

BD-1 whoops with his usual amount of glee as Cal may or may not use the Force to cling to the rope and get them both across with all his joints protesting doing anything other than lying face down on the ground and waiting for either the Empire or Cere to find him. He lands ungracefully and immediately stumbles into an endless fight to get out of the caverns. The galaxy seems to be laughing at him as every time he feels himself slowing down and fading there’s a new, stronger enemy in his path from purge troopers with their electrified weapons to stormtroopers with flamethrowers.

By the time Cal and Bd-1 stumble their way through the frozen over entrance they’ve gone for yet another swim and this time Cal can feel the ice forming in his elbows and knees. He’s exhausted too. The day has been full of heavy emotions and fighting and through it all he can feel the planet crying out through the Force in pain. And yet, there’s still more the empire has to throw at him.

Cal can hear the AT-STs before he can see them. The familiar whirr-thunk of their steps echoes across the snow and ice now that the storm is gone. The sun is almost blinding where it reflects off the snow and Cal has to squint to get the barest detail of the landscape around him. He knows that he can’t face the walkers head on, he can’t even feel his fingers where they are wrapped around the hilt of his lightsaber, nor can he manage anything more than a slow, awkward shuffle. So before the AT-STs spot him he makes for one of the narrower channels formed by the ice and settles in to wait until they decide to go patrol another sector. He leans back against the ice and slides slowly down into the snow. BD-1 jumps down beside him and beeps that they should comm Cere and Greez.

“You’re right,” says Cal.

He fumbles in his pouches for his comm device. It takes longer than it should, but eventually he gets it into his shaking hands and manages to press the right buttons with numb fingers.

“Cal,” Cere’s voice is steady through the comm channel, but her relief is evident. “Where are you?”

“I’m close to the ship, but hiding. There’s walkers out there and I can’t get past them without a fight.

“What if you don’t fight. Can you sneak past them? You could scale a wall and walk over the top back to the ship.”

Cal goes to stand up, just to have a peek and see, but his legs don’t get the memo. He can’t feel them. He can’t even feel the wall of ice he’s leaning against.

“No,” says Cal in a tight voice. “I can’t climb.”

“Cal, are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I don’t know. I can’t move anymore, it’s so cold and I’m so tired, Cere. I’m so tired.”

“Do not fall asleep. BD, do not let him fall asleep,” Cere orders.

BD-1 chirps an affirmative and fixes Cal with a strange stare. Cal doesn’t know if Cere hears the response or not. It doesn’t matter, she knows BD-1 will look after him, he always does.

Cal slumps even further against the ice. At least he’s starting not to feel so cold anymore. In fact, his fingers and toes are starting to burn a little, and if he could muster up the energy he’d be tempted to rip off his poncho. Cere’s still talking through the comm, and Cal can think of responding, but it’s too much effort to actually form the words.

It’s kind of funny, in a way. Earlier in the caves Cal had been ready to lay down and die after the crystal broke in his hand. But then BD-1, with the help of Master Cordova, reminded him that he has to keep going. Now he wants nothing more than to get back to the ship, to Cere and Greez, and a bunk that’s starting to feel like home and a purpose that is uniquely his, and yet he can’t get up and get himself there. The bright sky and BD-1 are receding away from him down a long, dark tunnel. He wants to claw his way back to the light, but he’s far too weak to move. All he can do is hope that somehow Cere will find him before he becomes another screaming ghost on Ilum.

#febuwhump #j:fo #jedi fallen order #cal kestis #fanfic #fanfiction #bd-1

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blue-sadie · 10 months

Text

Unknown Planet

Cal Kestis x Jedi Reader x Neteyam

Jedi Fallen Order

Summary: the mantis takes a hit leading to an unscheduled landing on a unknown planet

Warning: bold words = Na'vi, T-Bot

Yn/3rd person pov

"Greez watch out" I yelled as a empire ship fired at us hitting one of our wings "jumping into hyperdrive" cal muttered pushing the lever, I was forced into my chair as we entered hyperdrive "fuck this couldn't get any worse" I growled.

"Leaving hyperspace" cere warned and the mantis creeked and shook as we slowed down coming out into a peaceful galaxy I breathed out a sigh of relief unbuckling my seatbelt "how much damage do we have" cere murmured as I started using the scanner on my arm.

"The wing and engine is damaged needs immediately attention" I said looking at cal "what is the closest planet" I asked, he looked at BD who only beeped "a planet called pandora" he spoke running a hand through his hair "greez find a safe space to land so we can get to work" I sighed walking out the room.

"Hey you ok" cal murmured following me as I grabbed my bottle of water and taking a sip "it's like we do this everyday cal I'm tired of it" I said my eyes welding up with tears "do what everyday" I laughed dryly "we win against the empire only to get defeated the next its like a never ending loop we can't get out of and I'm sick of it" I muttered slamming my bottle down.

"We can never win" I choked as tears started running down my face "we fight and lose so much I can't take it anymore..... I just can't" I whispered the last part looking down at the ground he wrapped his arms around me "hey we can't give up now we've done so much" he reasoned "look we defeated most of the sisters and escaped darth vader himself we freed more planets then I could count because that's what we do".

I stared up at him "we have more wins then loses" he smiled "found a spot" greez called snapping us back into existence "I'll go get the tools" cal said pulling back and giving me a soft smile before leaving I sighed heavily and braced myself as the mantis landed "the airs not breathable so put these on" cere said and handed me a little device to me, greez and cal as he came back holding a box of tools.

I put the device on my neck and the others did the same "open her up" cal said excitedly and waited for the door to open "I'll catch up with you just now" I murmured as the walked out the door "now pandora what is the situation with you" I said to myself looking up pandora in my scanner "pandora, a planet revolved are a deity called eywa, that's cool, the natives speak a language called na'vi.... hey t-bot" I called in my tiny robot throwing her one of my small translators to her

"Please download the na'vi language on there" she beeped taking the device into her system "now what else do we know about pandora" I murmured scrolling down on the holographic screen "earth 28619 has been trying to take over and caused a horrific war which is still on going the main person being toruk makto or his human name jake sully" I spoke and turned off the screen "we better steer clear of the natives I don't think they'll like us here" I said picking up t and placing her on my shoulder as she beeped softly.

I walked outside and gaped at the beautiful view we landed on a small sand island surrounded by dark blue ocean with a few big rocks standing out "glad you finally decided to join us" cal laughed sliding off the roof and landed next to me "I did some research on the planet we should stay away from any natives" I said crossing my arms "come on have a little fun with place is nice" he smiled and chucked me a tool which I barely caught.

"You break one of my tools and I'll kill you" I muttered and followed him as he leaped back onto the roof "if you catch me you can" he yelled out running away "here t start with the smaller repairs" I murmured placing t on the roof before running after him "you bastard" I yelled out dodging some of the tools he threw at me "guys stop behaving like children" cere called and greez just cheered us on "got ye" I muttered grabbing his hood tightly "shit" he yelled as he pulled us off the edge and landed on the ground with a thud "dickhead" I groaned smacking him as I got off the ground shaking all the dirt off of me.

"Hey at least you weren't the one landed on" he whined stretching out his muscles I rolled my eyes before something in the distance caught my attention "somethings out there" I murmured pointing into the distance and cal followed my gaze "maybe it's friendly" he shrugged "doubt it" I murmured putting my hand on my light saber incase it decides to come closer.

Neteyam pov

"They don't have masks on" lo'ak said as he passed the binoculars to me "new experiment maybe" kiri grumbled diving back down into the water with her ilu "whatever it is must die" I muttered before looking into the binoculars and my breath hitched as I saw the two humans looking at us, the girl had her hand on her hip holding something "I'm gonna go get closer" lo'ak said and dived down before I could protest "lo'ak, lo'ak" I yelled but he didn't hear me I growled lowly and hit the water before following him.

Yn/3rd person pov

"I don't like this" I muttered and glanced at cal as he went back to work on the ship "your probably just being paranoid" greez said as he worked on the wing "yeah like you were on dathomir" I responded making cere and cal burst into laughter as I turned my attention back to the water it didn't feel right the planet didn't feel right.

"T pass me the translator" I called and caught the device as she released it and placed it on my throat "I know your out there" I called out "yn come on work on the shi-" cal said but was interrupted as two men surfaced out the water I pulled out my light saber and split it into two before igniting it "you know na'vi" the taller on said as they came a few steps ahead of me.

"We mean no harm our ship was damaged in battle and just need to do some repairs and we'll be out your hair" I spoke carmly "nice glow sticks" the other one laughed and the taller one just rolled his eyes and slapped the other one on the back of the head "I'm neteyam, this stupid one here is lo'ak" he murmured "what are you, you don't seem like the normal humans we get here" neteyam said looking between me and cal.

"Yeah he different isn't human" lo'ak chuckled gesturing to greese "we aren't from earth 28619 we are known as jedi and greez is latero" I murmured putting away my light sabers "jedi what's that" lo'ak asked tilting his head "we fight for the freedom of the galaxy" I answered crossing my arms "ok so your kinda like what my dad did" he said scratching the back of his head "you speak basic" I smiled.

"yeah our dad tought us" neteyam grinned "you should come with us to meet him he'll totally love you and your glow sticks" lo'ak chuckled putting his arm on neteyams shoulder "nah we're good but thanks for asking" cal murmured harshly as he jumped down I nudged his shoulder "maybe we could learn something" I muttered.

"But you said we should stay away from them" cal reasoned turning to me fully I rolled my eyes in annoyance "fine your right no thanks guys" I murmured looking at neteyam as he stared back into my eyes for some reason he made me feel safe "uh bro we should go" lo'ak said snapping us out our daze a light blush dusted my cheeks.

"Uh we're gonna go i-i'll see you soon" he smiled and gave me a little wave before leaving "come on let's get back to working" cal said and he went back to working but I just watched them leave 'why did neteyam feel like home' "yn come on" he called again I sighed out a deep breath before grabbing some tools to fix the engine.

-Night Time-

I layed out on the sand watching the night sky as the small fire kept me warm "I see your enjoying our beautiful night sky" I jolted up as I heard neteyams voice "yeah its really pretty" I smiled tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear the blush returning to my face as he sat close to me.

"It's not the only beautiful thing here" he murmured nudging my shoulder I giggled nervously as my blush darkened "how about I take you for a ride" he said nodding towards his ilu "i-i sure" I stuttered and took his hand when he offered it to me "careful the waters cold" he smiled stepping into the water.

A shiver ran up my spine as I stepped into the water "don't be scared" he murmured gently pulling me into his chest and lifting me onto the creature who let out soft murmurs and squeaks "I'll keep you safe" he whispered climbing on behind me and wrapped his arms around me securely.

"Legs go" he murmured as the creature started to move and was careful not to go fully submerge into the water "there's the 3 brother rocks" he pointed to each land mark as we passed them and his hands tightened around me as I shivered "I'll take you back now I don't want you to get sick" he said turning the ilu around and he chuckled as I let out an unsatisfied whine.

"I'll come back tomorrow I promise" he smiled and we started sharing little facts about eachothers lives and some missions I went on "dam now your life sounds way cooler then mine" he laughed as he slowly came to a stop as we made it back to the mantis "here ma-lady" he said hoping off before helping me off.

"I had a great time thank you neteyam" I beamed up at him as we made it to shore "it was wonderful to show you around" he said scratching the back of his head I bit my lip nervously looking up at him before pulling him down by his arms and pecking his cheek "I really mean it" I whispered backing up and giving him a small wave before entering the mantis.

-Next Day-

"Morning c" I smiled stretching out my tired muscles "hey yn" I sighed hearing cals voice "yes cal" I murmured turning to him "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being an ass yesterday and I was being unfair" he said and his words actually made me smile "thank you for realizing that" I smiled before walking outside "so t what else do we still have to do" I asked the small bot, she beeped a few times "so we'll be out before sun sets" I murmured kinda sad.

"Yeah back on our fight against the empire" cal cheered wrapping his arm around my shoulder I sighed heavily "can't we stay here for a few more days" I said glancing at him "w-what why would you want to" cal murmured his eyes filled with hurt "I want to learn more about the planet and neteyam said he would help me" I said shyly looking down at the floor.

I heard cal gulp and breathe out "yeah ok I g-guess" he said, I looked at him shocked "really" I asked excitedly and jumped up and down as he nodded "thank you thank you thank you" I squealed wrapping my arms around and let go as I heard neteyam come out the water "neteyam I'm staying here for a few more days" I squealed running to him and he laughed out pulling me into a hug.

But behind the two was a jealous jedi who just felt like he lost his reason to fight the war.

#avatar #avatar pandora #avatar x reader #avatar way of water #avatar x reader fluff #avatar fluff #neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam x reader fluff #neteyam x jedi reader #neteyam x jedi reader fluff #jedi fallen order #jedi fallen order x reader #jedi fallen order x reader fluff #cal kestis #cal kestis x reader #cal kestis x reader fluff

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frost-queen · 1 year

Text

What lies deep within the heart (Reader!Skywalker x Cal Kestis)

Requested by: anon, Forever tag: @missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly, @denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @danielle-marie

Summary: Reader is Vader's daughter. When Cal seeks revenge for what happened to Trilla, he outs it towards you. Leading up to a ruthless chase with the need for a kill. When the time comes, Cal can't find it in himself to kill you as you are nothing like your father. Having start off with a rocky relationship, Cal and you do grow closer. Till his temptations need to be outed by cornering you for a little confession where words are not needed. < part 2 part 3 part 4 >

Cal huffed loud, slowly getting up from the floor by the use of his hands. Moving his gaze towards Trilla who approached him, red lightsaber in the ready. – “I’m sorry Trilla.” – Cal breathed out, sitting on his knees. – “I’m sorry for what happened to you.” – he kept his hands on his knees when Trilla came to a stop before him. Lightsaber buzzing at her side. Her face contracted in anger. Cal lowered his head as if giving her the opening for a strike.

Then a surprised sound erupted from Trilla making Cal lift his head up. Eyes widening at Trilla crying. Her lightsaber dropping to the ground beside her as the light rejected. Trilla’s body trembling as she looked down at her own hands. Cal slowly got up. Trilla moving her head up when he held her hands from underneath. – “You have a choice Trilla. It is up to you to make it so.” – She dropped to her knees. – “Go on. Kill me!” – she insisted with hatred in her words. – “I deserve it.” – she tore her face to the side, too ashamed to look at him.

Cal lowered himself to her height. BD joining him on his shoulder. – “I’m not going to kill you Trilla.” – he spoke. Trilla looked up to his face, cheeks stained wet. – “I would’ve if I were in your position.” – she answered. Cal took a deep breath. – “That might be so… but they made you into this without your consent. I do not believe you to be this hatred of heart on your own.”

He took her hands, helping her up to her feet. Trilla giving him a saddened smile. Cal’s expression contracted with concern seeing the sudden fear reflecting on her face. A sound that made her entire body shudder to the bone. A robotic breath slowly breathing in and out. It shook the very core of her. – “What is it?” – Cal asked her quietly seeing how even Trilla was frightened. – “Vader…” – she whispered out with terror. From behind Trilla through the smoke emerged a dark figure.

The robotic breathed growing louder with each glorious step he took. Cal stumbled back at the sight of Vader. With one swift motion of his hand got Trilla pushed aside. Cal gasped loud seeing Trilla struggle to get up. Vader approached, breathing loud as he clenched his gloved hand. Trilla’s back arching as her hands moved to her neck. Struggling for air. Choking by the hand of Vader. – “No!” – Cal called out, taking out his lightsaber. It buzzed loud by his side. Vader moved his clenched hand up.

Trilla shooting up in the air. Feet kicking around for grip. Vader tightened his grip, hand trembling with rage. Cal jumped at Vader ready to attack. Trilla dropped to the ground as he pulled out his red lightsaber. It crashed down against Cal’s. Cal’s jaw tensed as he tried to uphold the force. – “BD!” – Cal called out. The droid jumped off his back, scattering over to Trilla just as the two lightsabers moved up, releasing contact.

Cal’s eyes widened when he got lifted slightly from the ground, feet dragging over the floor closer to Vader. Vader grabbed Cal tightly by the collar. Vader’s superior mask making Cal swallow frightened. – “You are weak.” – Vader spoke with an altered voice. Cal was struggling for release. Gasping loud when Vader moved his lightsaber closer to his face. The redness illuminating his expression. – “I can see what is in your mind.” – Vader said. Cal set his feet against Vader’s chest, pushing himself off. He backflipped out of Vader’s grip, landing on his feet steady.

Vader approached swinging his lightsaber at Cal. Cal deflected each swing, yet felt his strength weaken. There was no denying it Vader was powerful. His lightsaber kept crashing against Cal’s till it knocked him over. Falling down on his bottom. – “I am what you fear.” – Vader called out ready to strike Cal down. Cal squeezed his eyes shut, moving his arm up for protection. – “Stop!” – a voice came through.

Cal opened his eyes, seeing how close the lightsaber was hovering over his face. Then looking up to Vader who seemed engaged in something behind him. Looking over his shoulder he saw a girl enter fiercely. – “That’s enough father!” – you made clear, not afraid to go against him. Cal’s eyes widened with shock as Vader moved his saber back to his side. Something overcame Cal. A deep anger and craving for revenge.

He swiftly got up, running over to you. BD hurrying over in the process, getting on his back. You stumbled back at the sudden boy coming your way. – “Noooo!” – Vader cried out as he wanted to pull Cal back by the force, but something stopped him. Trilla dripping with anger held him in place with the use of the force. Long enough for Cal to escape in pursuit.

You started running as the boy had taken out his lightsaber. This was not at all what you planned. He was fast, but you knew your way around the compound. An advantage against your chaser. Panting loud, you feet hurried with the thrill of a chase on your back. Speeding up you ran to a left as a door swished open. A room full of stormtroopers turned their heads your way. You easily ran past them as they pulled out their blasters, shooting at the jedi hunting you.

Some of them knelt down on the front row as others stood behind them, blocking the jedi’s path to you. Cal swung his lightsaber around redirecting the blasts to the troopers. In his anger, he called it out, blasting some away. Clearing his path as he pushed through. Not taking any chances of losing sight of you. Huffing and puffing loud he easily caught up with you.

You rounded another corner knowing it would lead you outside. Another door swished open as you spurted outside. Pressing a button you shut the door just in time. Taking a deep breath, you took a moment to recover. Heart pounding out of your chest. You stumbled back when the door started lighting up from the middle. The material melting from inwards to out.

He was making his way through, not backing down. Melted steel dropped to the ground in cloths as the hole became larger. The tip of his lightsaber visible. – “Stop!” – you called out, panicky. – “I’ve done nothing to you!” – you said as the door suddenly swished open. The jedi panting loud as his shoulders went up and down. The droid on his back staring right back at you. He tightened his grip around his lightsaber, moving the point in your direction.

You staggered back when he suddenly pushed his hand forwards. You screamed it out, getting kicked back against the wall. Gasping loud, you ushered yourself to your feet with the adrenaline of survival kicking in. He had approached you, lightsaber in the ready. Panicking you pushed him back with the use of the force. He groaned loud, getting up while you took a run for it. – “So you got skills.” – he mumbled to himself and BD. He tilted his head to the side, swinging his shoulder forwards to warm it up. A cold expression on his face. Another door swished open, greeted by the cold wind.

It made you move your arm up to block the cold sting of the wind in your eyes. Looking over your shoulder, you were startled by his approach. He swung his lightsaber at you, making you leap back. Hitting a side hard with your back. Grunting in pain, you fell to your knees. Cal approached you, kicking you so that your body fell backwards. You crawled back till there was no more left to run. Cal approaching intimidatingly as he closed in on you.

You could just sense the anger coming from him. He moved his lightsaber up, ready to strike you down. You held your arm protective up, looking frightened at him. A sudden stop in his muscles made him hesitate. Lightsaber hovering inches above your face. He tightened his grip, clenching his jaw as he wanted to kill you. Get his revenge for all the empire did to him. Yet seeing you shivering in the cold made him hesitant. You sensed what fueled his anger. – “I was but a child myself.” – you told him, slowly lowering your arm.

“I…I…I’m sorry…for what my father has inflicted on you.” – you added. – “I was but a child…” – you repeated. – “What could I do?” – looking with guilt at the Jedi before you. Cal’s lightsaber dropped to the side. – “I can’t kill you.” – he said stumbling back. A breathy shudder escape your lips, muscles untensing. – “You had no influence in it.” – he mumbled to himself. You slowly lifted your head up, eyes widening at the sound of marching feet. The steady beating on the ground. Marched paces in a tight rhythm. Stormtroopers were coming.

You got up, snow falling from your knees. – “This is your only chance at an escape.” – you told him. The jedi remained down as you extended your hand to him. It took him a moment to accept it, letting you pull him up to his feet. – “Accept it as my forgiveness.” – you told him, holding his hand firmly. Cal nodded firm. He let go of your hand jogging away till he came to a sudden stop. Slowly turning around. – “If you seek freedom, you can come with me.” – he held out his hand to you. You looked hesitantly over your shoulder. The marching of the stormtroopers beating louder as they were approaching.

“You’ll be dead if I do so.” – you told him knowing how furious your father would be. Cal remained silent, still offering you, his hand. – “If you seek redemption, this is your time to do so.” – he responded hearing the marching as well. You took a deep breath, walking up to him. Slowly you laid your hand in his as he closed his hand around yours. With one final look at the compound behind you, the jedi led you away. Jumping into the water to swim back to the Mantis.

While swimming you could sense your father’s anger and cries for your loss. His daughter he always held close suddenly lost and out of touch. It felt a bit strange to be so far away from him. As if your soul was tearing itself apart from his. The mantis came in sight as Cal, and you swam towards it. Greez waved his hands wary across. – “Whoah, whoah, whoah where did you find this stray?” – he said as you coughed, shivering from the cold. Cal got up moving away from you. Cere stood there in shock.

“Cal! Do you know who you brought along?” – she asked when Cal returned with a blanket. You were crawled up, shivering, and frightened of those near you. Cal opened the blanket laying it over you. – “Darth Vader’s daughter.” – he answered, kneeling down beside you. – “Whoah! No! no! Not a chance kid. I don’t have a death wish.” – Greez protested. He wanted to help you up to your feet, but you wouldn’t let him. Doing it yourself. Not a few moments ago he was out to kill you. – “I mean you no harm.” – you told them. – “I’ll get off at the next stop.” – you continued looking over at Cere. – “I have a lot to make up for, for my father’s mistakes.”

Cere approached you, setting the blanket better around you. – “You do not need to pay for your father’s mistakes. They are his to settle right.” – she stroke her hands down your collarbone. – “You were but a child… an innocent child.” – you smiled saddened at her. She guided you to a secluded area as you looked over your shoulder to the jedi boy one last time. By the next stop you didn’t get off. Settling on the mantis with Greez, Cere, Cal, and BD-1.

Cere had helped you in the willpower to block out your father trying to reach out to you through the force. Forever searching for his treasure that left his side. His hands suddenly cold without yours to take. The longer you spend time with Cal, the more you warmed up to each other. The chase and eagerness to kill fading to the background. Cal could see clearly how much you are nothing like your father. You stood in the cockpit with Cere and Greez.

Cal entering from behind you. – “Watch the turbulence.” – Greez out just as the mantis started rocking shakingly. You nearly lost your balance if it wasn’t for Cal putting an arm around your waist, pulling you close to his body. Holding the ship with his other hand for steadiness. – “You okay Y/n?” – he asked you, aware of how close your face was to his. You nodded with a soft hum, staring intensely back at him.

Cere cleared her throat, making Cal and you snap out of the trance caught between each other. He helped you to sit down safely as the mantis shuddered once more. He nearly fell on your lap but held himself tight to the side. BD hopping onto your lap as Cal made his way to the front. Looking over his shoulder to you while securing himself.

Something on his mind for a while now. How much he wanted your love. The touch of your hand in his. Your sweet lips on his. It was all he wanted lately. – “Buckle up, we are going into hyperspace.” – Greez spoke pulling a lever. You watched as white streaks formed till it blinded your entire view. The mantis got out of hyperspace as you could unbuckle yourself once more and move freely. You remained seated till the mantis landed. Everyone getting out of their seats to stretch the legs and take in a deep breath of fresh air.

You had helped Cere around all day till the suns were finally settling. The strike of midnight approaching. You were in the mantis’s back room, unpacking some supplies. Getting up, you were startled by Cal leaning against the doorframe. It made you drop the box you were holding. – “Cal!” – you called out shockingly lowering yourself to pick up the box. – “Don’t startle me like that.” – you added as Cal removed himself from the doorway. Lowering himself too to take the box out of your hands.

He set it aside making you furrow your brows. – “Cal why are you acting so strange?” – you asked when he suddenly cornered you. Hands pressed beside your head against the wall. His gaze lingering on you till it lowered to your lips. The temptations inside of him running high. If he didn’t satisfy them now, he feared he would go mental. His body itching for a touch of yours till it no longer could contain itself. Your eyes widened when Cal’s lips crashed upon yours. Finally giving in to his temptations and desires.

Surrendering under his kiss, you moved your arms around him. Kissing him eagerly back. Cal pressing his body closer to yours, surrendering fully to you. His kiss clear about his affections towards you as you had started to feel the same. Unspoken feelings finally outed with a kiss of passion.

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