#beat with an asterisk both of them

[umblrspectrum]

wanna see me disappear for several months

wanna see me do it again

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. An ULTRAKILL screenshot of the end of level P-1: Soul Survivor, on standard difficulty. The screen displays that OP took 3 minutes and 5.18 seconds to complete it, got the required two kills, and ended with 9648 style points, not dying a single time. In other words, it's a perfect P-rank. End ID]

easy boss

[rainba]

Here it is... The fic where Luka kidnaps both his darling and Kairos.

TWs/tags: human furniture, dubcon, kidnapping, slight depiction of violence, pet play, NSFW, mind break, cucking (?), dark content, use of shock collars

Reader is GN, however, there is one paragraph where the reader is gendered. The asterisk* will mark the paragraph with afab reader, and the one in parenthesis is amab. :3c)

MDNI! 18+

In one previous post, I mentioned that Kairos and Luka do live in the same universe and city– and in a few other posts, I mentioned that they’d never share their darling. If one of them tries to kidnap darling, they’ll just report the other to the police. 

Then another idea came up, a way that Luka could circumvent that predicament: Luka figures that Kairos would instantly report him if he kidnapped his darling. So… In order to stop that from happening…

Luka would kidnap both you and Kairos.

Luka’s house is definitely big enough to keep both of you. In the beginning stages, he’ll keep Kairos locked up in the attic while he keeps you in the basement. The basement is much cozier– meanwhile the attic is all dusty, hot, and muggy.

Between you and Kairos, Luka will be much, much nicer to you. He’s (quite literally) obsessed with you, so of course you get the better treatment. He cooks your favorite meals and feeds them to you by hand. He gives you plenty of water and always showers you in attention– sometimes he’ll even place a TV down in the basement and let you watch random stuff. You know, just so you don’t get too bored. He wants you to feel at home–! When you learn to accept your new life, he’ll spoil you rotten.

But for Kairos..? Luka is absolutely brutal.

Luka will rub in the fact that he beat Kairos in “winning you.” He’s simply just the superior man– the superior partner. Luka loves you too much to ever let you go. After all, you're the only person that has ever made him feel anything at all. And he really drives in the fact that you belong to him, and that Kairos will never have the chance to even touch you.

Luka will walk circles around Kairos as he mocks him relentlessly.

“Nobody is looking for you.”

“You’re pathetic. Disgusting freak.”

“They’re all mine, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Kairos will scream, squirm, and cry as much as he possibly can– but nobody can hear him. Luka is right: nobody is looking for him. Kairos doesn’t have any family. He doesn’t have any friends. He’s stuck in this hell forever.

To keep Kairos alive, Luka gives him his leftovers. He dumps it onto the dirty ground and drags Kairos next to it, commanding him to “eat up.” Kairos is forced to pathetically writhe on the floor and eat without his hands– all because Luka refuses to untie him. As for water, Luka forces Kairos to drink out of a dog bowl.

Most of the time, Kairos can’t hear anything. Luka’s house is eerily quiet at night. And during the day, Kairos can sometimes hear the sounds of children laughing and playing outside, or he’ll just hear Luka casually going about his day as if there aren't two people locked up in his house.

It’s torturous.

Over time, Luka will get you to warm up to him– call it stockholm syndrome kicking in, if you will. Or maybe you already loved him and he just needed to build trust with you. Either way– you eventually upgrade from the basement to his bedroom. And that’s when things get infinitely worse for Kairos.

He’s not just listening to Luka going about his daily routine now– no, now he has to also listen to the two of you fucking multiple times a day. The way you’re moaning out another man's name… The sound of the bed creaking and banging against the wall… Kairos finds himself choking and sobbing as he’s stuck tied to the chair. Sometimes he starts to dissociate and pretends that he’s somewhere else.

Most of the time he pretends that the two of you just got married, and he’s playing out different scenarios of honeymoons in his head.

After a few more weeks or months go by, Luka will grow bored of keeping Kairos tied up in the attic. If he’s gonna keep a hostage, he might as well put them to good use. So what does he do with Kairos?

He uses him as human furniture. Forces him to also be a pet.

You’re horrified as you watch Kairos crawling around the house with a gag in his mouth and a leash attached to his throat. If Luka feels bold enough, he might even have the words “Luka’s Bitch” decorated on the collar. Oh– and it’s not just a regular collar, either. It’s a shock collar.

Any time Kairos acts out and disobeys Luka, he earns himself a shock so powerful that it causes him to seize and collapse onto the floor.

…This entire time, you thought it was just you in the house. You didn’t know there was another person. You’re not alone.

It makes your stomach churn.

And Luka encourages you to use Kairos as furniture as well. Use him as a footrest, use him as a table or a chair– do whatever.

Over time, deep down, incomprehensible and guilty thoughts begin to appear in Kairos’ mind. Things that made him once want to throw up now make him feel… Funny. He’s so happy that he gets to see your face again–!! He’s finally reunited with the love of his life, it’s just a shame it’s under such horrible circumstances.

Kairos doesn’t mind if you use him like furniture. It’s okay if you do it. But he loathes it when it’s Luka who’s using him.

The difference between you and Luka is like night and day. While Luka berates and degrades him, sometimes even depriving him of basic necessities, you always sneak around and give Kairos lots of love and extra food. 

Kairos always breaks down and cries in your arms when you show him kindness– he’s so very thankful for it. But be sure that Luka doesn’t catch you. If he sees you being sweet towards Kairos, he’ll harshly punish Kairos and then fuck you right in front of him. Every time.

Kairos always feels so pathetic as he's forced to watch you getting ravaged by Luka. The way you're moaning under his touch... The hot, sticky sound of Luka's cock sliding in and out of you... All of this happening while Kairos is tied down and unable to do a thing. He's so fucking hard, and there's nothing there to relieve him. Luka punishes Kairos if he dares to look away.

In order to gain more privileges, both you and Kairos need to work to gain Luka’s favor. If the both of you prove that you’re capable of being trusted, he might give you more freedom. He’ll let you look out the windows every now and then– might even let you use the kitchen. He's much more open to giving you privileges than he is to giving Kairos any.

Except, of course, he always hides all of the sharp objects in the house. He doesn’t want you two to have access to weapons. And if you try to poison him even once, he’ll immediately make the kitchen permanently off limits when he's not around to watch you.

Also, over time, another funny thing happens. Luka doesn’t really like punishing you outside of sex- he'd much rather shower you in rewards. He’d rather save the roughness and punishments for more intimate settings. After all, he’s trying to earn your love– not make you hate him. So, what does he do instead?

Every time you act up, he’ll drag Kairos by his leash and punish him in your stead. After all, he knows that you care about Kairos and his wellbeing, so he uses that against you.

Oh, you just tried to break out of the house? You tried to poison Luka? Well, that deserves a proper punishment. Luka will tie you to a chair and force you to watch as he brutalizes Kairos. Whips him with a belt, kicks him in the stomach, takes away his food privileges for the next 48 hours... It’s horrible.

And in a way… This would cause Kairos to start policing you, too. Which is exactly what Luka wants. Kairos really, really doesn’t want to get punished. I mean, deep down, he’s absolutely happy that he gets to take the beating instead of you– it’s like he’s your hero!! …In some weird and twisted sense. But also, he really doesn’t want to get punished, so… Please don’t act out.

However, when the months keep rolling in, Luka will slowly warm up to Kairos. All of the punishments will grow less severe– and sometimes, Luka just lets you all off with a warning. It’s obvious that a big change has happened when instead of Luka just fucking you in front of Kairos, he lets him join in on the fun.

Except Luka doesn’t really want to touch him– so, he’ll let you touch Kairos instead. It’s what Kairos always wanted– Right?

Kairos should thank him. 

Luka will tie his arms behind his back and keep him firmly locked to a chair, completely naked. Kairos feels so ashamed that he’s hard– but god, he can’t help it. He’s so excited to finally be able to touch you, his darling, the person that should’ve always been his–!

And Luka will make sure it’s enjoyable for everyone. Luka will strip you of your clothes, but he might put you in a cute pair of thigh highs, just for the fun of it. Luka will grab you by your hair and push your face into Kairos’ lap as he utters one phrase, “suck it.”

You’ll do as you’re told– you don’t have much of a choice. Kairos’ eyes instantly light up as you wrap your lips around his sensitive cock.

Finally– his dreams are coming true…! 

Sort of.

As you suck him off, Luka will lift your ass into the air and he’ll fuck your tight hole. He’ll keep his right hand on your hip while his left hand grabs the back of your head, lacing his fingers into your hair. He doesn’t care if you can barely breathe– he’ll shove your head all the way down on Kairos’ dick as he bottoms out inside of you. Occasionally, he’ll lift your head up and lean in to kiss you on the lips.

It’s all so hot– but ultimately, it’s all for you and himself. Luka will always make sure you cum, that’s his top priority. His second priority is to make sure he gets to fill you up. As for Kairos? Well… Luka doesn’t care all that much.

If Kairos doesn’t cum? That’s too bad. It’s Kairos’ own fault that he didn’t come undone. But if he does cum? That’s alright too. 

However, don’t expect Luka to make you stop sucking. Kairos will be squirming in his chair whining like crazy as you overstimulate him, his body trembling from the sensation, but you can’t stop until Luka says you can stop.

The second scenario is much more likely to happen than the first. The moment Kairos looks down and sees your fucked-out face choking on his length… He’ll cum right on the spot– every single time, without fail.

After the first instance of Luka letting Kairos join in the sex, he earns a lot more privileges. He can finally sleep in the same room as you two–!! But he’s not really allowed to rest on the bed. He’ll be forced to curl up and sleep on the floor– but hey, it beats the attic any day, right?

Luka also takes off Kairos' shock collar. Since Kairos has proved himself to be a good boy, he's now allowed to roam around freely. Hell, sometimes Luka will pet Kairos and give him some praise. It... Makes Kairos feel strange, but in a good way.

Kairos is also now allowed to cuddle you sometimes. When you’re simply sitting on the couch and trying to relax, Kairos will immediately hurry over to your side and rest his head in your lap– desperate to feel even an ounce of affection from you. He might ask you to stroke his hair and kiss the bruises Luka left on his skin.

* If Luka is at work and Kairos knows there’s no cameras around, he might beg to suck on your tits– you know, for comfort reasons! It would really make him happy to have them in his mouth– it would be therapeutic, even.

((And if you’re a guy, Kairos will instead beg to frot you. While it’s a lot more dangerous and the punishment for getting caught is heavy, Kairos is willing to risk it all. Don’t worry–! You can just sit there and relax; Kairos will be the one doing all the work with his hand.))

You know how stressful and traumatizing this whole situation has been for him… He needs to be comforted so badly… So.. Pretty please?

In some sick and twisted way, over time, Kairos grows to like the way things are– perhaps his mind does this as a way to cope. He tries his hardest to find all the positives in living this kind of life:

> He gets to spend every minute of every day with you!

> He doesn’t have to worry about talking to strangers.

> He doesn’t have to work and maintain a job.

> He doesn’t have to cook and clean for himself.

The list goes on. Kairos gains all of these benefits, and all he has to do is give up most of his basic human rights and submit to another man…!

Okay, Kairos still admits that is pretty bad. But… At least he has you…! That’s all Kairos really cares about in the end!

For Luka? He’s satisfied with the way things are. Not only does he not have to worry about Kairos ratting him out to the police, but now he has both the love of his life right by his side and a fun little pet to take his stress out on. 

So… Everyone… Wins? In the end? ❤️

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

‘It’s different from the books’ sure it’s different but are you judging elements based on how they fit within the new transformative narrative that the show adaptation is presenting? Or are you purely judging each element based on how different it is from the books?

Does the new narrative that the show is telling have cohesive arcs and structure that work within its specific logic? Do the elements present, intentionally different or inspired or lifted directly from the books, work together to tell a story that shares most of the same overall themes and important story beats as the entire book series? Are they setting up the long term development of character arcs well?

Or are you just mad your favorite character isn’t just saying all their lines from the book directly and we need to have the ‘characters aren’t people regardless of our parasocial attachment to them, they’re storytelling tools that fill roles within a narrative conflict’ conversation again? Like, neither the author(s) nor the book characters themselves are gonna fuck you, just so we’re clear.

Mat having a weakness for helping and protecting children, Perrin being traumatized about using the axe as a weapon and worried about harming people he loves, Rand wanting to help men who can channel, everything about Egwene’s late stage character arc, Nynaeve’s innate potential and her constant early struggle with her unconsciously blocking that immense power away from herself have all been set up extremely well in the show, and all by making some pretty distinct changes from the books.

And every wot fan agrees that the books are not perfect in various ways, rearranging and tightening of the plot was always going to be necessary in an adaptation, let alone in one that is only allowed to span 8 seasons. But the main beats of the story are all there, and individual changes to characterization and the specific roles that characters play for certain bits of the narrative are not bad just because they’re different and I simply can’t take any criticism of the show that doesn’t account for that seriously.

Also like. Can we stop blaming the writers for stuff that is fully the producers’ fault. Season 1 episode 1 and episode 8 both got fucked over on rewrites and/or covid restrictions during filming, so the pacing and execution is kinda fucky there, but that’s not on the writing team. The rest of season one the pacing is better and better yet in season two, which honestly was kind of a banger start to finish.

The development in s2 of all the themes around channelers losing access to the power or autonomy over their channeling and the griefs of outliving your loved ones were explored so well, and all those ideas are very important for the rest of the plot from later in the books. And the choice to introduce all the forsaken sooner and develop them more than is present in the early books was brilliant, they’re incredibly effective and engaging villains and the show is utilizing them to full effect. Shit rules. I’m stoked for s3 for a lot of reasons but especially for more forsaken shenanigans.

When I want to reread the books I’ll reread the books. I’m doing that right now and having a great time. But I’m glad the show is different in a lot of ways and I like the way they’re reading the original text, including by changing the stuff that makes wot one of those book series you can’t really recommend without an asterisk because RJ’s grasp on feminism and queerness and gender theory was. Loose at best.

Idk man, just treat adaptations of books you love as really high budget fanfiction produced by a team of people who all care about the original text but are also of course gonna put their spin on it, and you might have a more enjoyable time watching them.

Howl’s Moving Castle by Miyazaki? Fanfiction.

NBC Hannibal? Gay Fanfiction.

The Wheel of Time on Prime? That’s right, it’s increasingly higher budget fantasy fanfiction with less gender essentialism, extra emphasis on all the milfy magical politics, and queer subtext made text, hell yeah.

[aussiexlovexaffair]

i’d b interested in a pt2 for breakdown of larzaylea lyrics. i always think of the mv for lie to me when luke’s in the destroyed car & the others are basically outside waiting for him to get out the car/relationship

yes!! totally, you've given me more incentive to write lolll okay okay here's part 2!

again, all songs i am not sure about the lyrics being about her will have an asterisk before the titles! keep in mind that this is taken out of context, so if you don't think arzaylea influenced the youngblood album, dni!

youngblood (youngblood, 2018): "Yeah you used to call me baby, now you're calling me by name. Takes one to know one, yeah, you beat me at my own damn game."

- this, in my opinion, is the song most about her that 5sos has ever released (besides lie to me).

- in this lyric, luke says the person he's in love with "beat him at his own game" and this could reference how during this time, 5sos was well known for hanging around girls of all kinds (thanks, rolling stones article...) and frequently hooking up with them. the girl in question, who is most likely was written with arz, has been sleeping with other guys or playing him in some way and the change in situation is throwing him for a loop.

"Lately, our conversations end like it's the last goodbye. Then one of us gets too drunk and calls about a hundred times. So who're you calling baby? Nobody can take my place. When you're looking at those strangers, hope to God you see my face."

- again, the lyrics bring up the infidelity in the relationship. the couple seems to fight and then separate, only to find themselves back together in the end after unhealthy events occur between those moments.

want you back (youngblood, 2018): "No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back. No matter how long you're gone. I'm always gonna want you back."

- this is pretty self-explanatory, if not very incriminating.

- even if the girl in the song, which was written right after the break-up, moves on, he will always be thinking about her.

"You know, even when I say I moved on, yeah, I still dream for you."

- the girl and him are both aware of the fact that as much as he might act like it, he'll always be thinking about them.

lie to me (youngblood, 2018): "Flashing back to New York City, changing flights so you'll stay with me, remember thinking that I got this right."

- during the course of their relationship, luke was reported to have issues getting to venues for soundcheck because of arzaylea. this could have been because of guilt that he felt for how his relationship was going. he might have felt responsible for the events taking place because of his fame.

"And now I wish we never met 'cause you're too hard to forget. While I'm cleaning up your mess, I know he's taking up your dress. And I know that you don't, but if I ask you if you love me, I hope you lie, lie, lie, lie to me."

- did luke know about her cheating on him with blackbear? i don't know that myself, but if anyone knows, please reach out through the asks!

- if he did, then we can interpret this as luke fixating on the idea that as much as she is hurting him by cheating on someone, he cannot stop loving her. at that point, even if it's a lie, he needs her to reassure him that she loves him.

- additionally, we can look at the music video for context about the lyrics.

- according to some of their friends, the members of the band did not like arzaylea. if they did in the beginning, it changed very quickly because the three of them were said to have tried talking luke out of the relationship midway through.

- this is shown in the music video when luke is singing in the car and waiting for the other cars to come crashing into his own. he knows the situation is bad, the other members are watching from the side lines with no ability to help, but luke makes no attempt to leave before the crash.

- luke was aware of how his relationship with arzaylea looked from the outside, but he couldn't take the advice of his own band members because a part of him embraced the disaster or at least found comfort in some part of it.

- also, luke is alone in the car. his relationship could've been distant or very cold towards the end or maybe in the moments when they were fighting.

- cars are a VERY popular symbol in their music videos: specifically amnesia, no shame, lie to me, and bad omens.

moving along (youngblood, 2018): "Have you been eating breakfast alone like me? Thinking about you lots, lately. Is it bad that I'm hoping that you're broken?"

- even though he loved her, luke finds himself hoping that she feels at least partly responsible for their relationship's termination. he also hopes that she isn't moving on too quickly and that his grief for their love isn't one-sided.

"Is it wrong if I ask you to come over? Is it wrong if I tell ya that I love ya? Even though I'd never do it when I'm sober."

- the comment about only doing it when he's drunk/intoxicated could bring up the drugs and partying that only increased with his relationship with him.

- their relationship was well known for being on-and-off, even during the beginning of their relationship. the parallels of hoping that she is hurting from the break-up and wanting her to come over showcase this.

"I know I'm the stupid one who ended it and now I'm the stupid one regretting it."

- again, luke feels guilty for the break-up and the next line mentions how the revelation only came to him under the influence. "drunk words are sober thoughts."

more (youngblood, 2018): "If me and you are living in the same place, why do we feel alone? Feel alone? A house that's full of everything we wanted, but it's an empty home, empty home."

- arzaylea was known to brag to her friends about moving in with luke so quickly after the beginning of their relationship. but according to the lyrics, the house is filled with tension and fighting which leaves it less comfortable and home-y than normal.

"Why does it feel like we're missing out? Like I'm standing behind the door. I just wanna get back to us 'cause we used to have more."

- the relationship has so much tension that they both feel like they've changed completely.

ghost of you (youngblood, 2018): "Cleaning up today, found that old Zeppelin shirt you wore when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt. Too young, too dumb, to know things like love, but I know better now, better now."

- the memories that old items of hers bring up his feelings that he might have previously tried to get over by ignoring. instead of hoping she's hurting like before, he now recognizes how they were both immature and didn't know how a relationship was supposed to function.

"So I drown it out like I always do. Dancing through our house with the ghost of you. And I chase it down with a shot of truth, that my feet don't dance like they did with you." - acknowledging this, he knows that he'll continue to relive their time together, both good and bad, feeling like the mixture of youth and blind love is something that nothing compare to.

monster among men (youngblood, 2018): "Strong hold, it's time for me to admit that I'm an asshole, so here I go. Oh, the stupid truth is that I'm so bad for you. Oh no-no-no, I can't take it. Oh no-no-no, I won't break your heart again. I don't wanna be a monster among men."

- even if luke has thought previously that she was the reason behind all of the relationship problems, it is likely that this signifies him having the realization that his actions during the course of their relationship, were not all healthy.

- as much as people, myself included, like to sugarcoat everything they do, the arzaylea era/2014-18 era was extremely problematic for both the people they associated with and themselves.

meet you there (youngblood, 2018): "No matter where you go, you know I'd wait for you. I would break and bend if you wanted me to."

- his willingness to change his own personality reflects how he might have brushed his own wants and needs under the rug when it mattered. this is backed up by many of her friends' claims.

"So you go your way and I'll go mine. And if we're meant to, I'll meet you there. We can't speed up the hands of time, but if we're meant to love, I'll meet you there."

- even if the time isn't right for them at the moment, the relationship between them is too addicting to pass up, so they both mutually agree that if they meet at another time, they'll reconnect.

babylon (youngblood, 2018): "I see it on your face, a small trace. A blank slate, we've been erased. But if we're way too faded to drive, you can stay one more night."

- the girl's face gives it away to her partner that she is unable to connect with him like before. their use of substances bring back the spark however and give them the opportunity to reconnect.

"We said we'd both love harder than we knew we could go, but still the hardest part is knowing when to let go."

- while the both of them promise each other that they'd give each other everything they had, this can often result in a burn out. after this pinnacle, they have to ride out the high and except they have nothing else to give.

"I'm tired of the feud, your short fuse. My half-truths are not amused. I wish we had a clue to start anew."

- the couple is tired of his inability to communicate properly and how quickly she jumps to conclusions. this mix leads to them blowing up at each other.

-. another hint at miscommunication, a harbringer of jealousy (something luke and arzaylea struggled with), is the word itself "Babylon." the biblical city was so named because of the babbling people who offended God. before, they could understand each other clearly, hoping to make a tower to prove God didn't rule the earth. to punish them, he made them unable to communicate and continue building the tower, each speaking a different language. this references a couple not being able to understand one another when working towards a common goal, the relationship's success.

I CAN DO A PART 3 IF PEOPLE WANT!!! SEND ASKS!

[kings-highway]

sorry if you’ve already said this or it’s somewhere obvious but since you mentioned a This is not the end playlist - is it a public playlist that we could access?

Sorry for the delay in answering. I was trying to decide if I wanted people to know my spotify username. I decided no.

As of right now these are the songs on the playlist!!! Not public but certainly available to users if youre curious about any. Songs will be below the cut as well as me talking about a few of them because they come with asterisks.

I'm not gonna yap on about all these so much but I did want to say that a lot of them are obviously about more modern things but I certainly find their vibes immaculate. Even the ones that dont belong quite as much as the others. Sorry in advance for all the country or country adjacent music! 😛

The delivery of the line "Don't you forget that God's not done with you yet," in "Bloodline" fries my brain each time. Its like the entire story injected into one line. Actually this whole song makes me feral I'm so sickeningly obsessed with it rn.

"It is What it Is" was actually the first song I ever pinged for this story!

"Bequest," I feel, is specifically more Daichi + his blood relatives than anything else.

"Little Fortune" is very Kita + Kyoto!

"The Living" is definitely more Kaito + Daichi but I think the song is technically a romance (keyword think its actually hard to tell) however the core of the song is being afraid of the parts of life that require you to be present and alive and put effort in, so I like it for them anyway.

"Moonshines" and "Let Your Horses Run" are both way more modern songs and don't super apply, but their vibes are great. "Moonshines" has a "white lightning" line that is, apparently, about alcohol so it kind of ruins the application of the song for me, but the rest of the song is such a bop and feels so good for the story. "Let Your Horses Run" is also technically about the breaking of societal expectations whereas my boys are trying to rebuild them but forgive me :') they have great beats.

"Burning Down" also doesn't fit on the surface, but I feel like you should all know I've always thought of it for Kaito + Ittou, even though that hasn't been explored much in the story itself.

Also, honourable mentions bc I never put soundtrack/songs written for other media in my playlists if I can help it: "Tell Me It's You," from Mufasa absolutely imprinted itself on my brain as Aiko's song (to Hayami. Aiko was in love with Hayami. I chose not to make it explicit in her chapter. She might have also been in love with Kaito. I'm unsure. Homegirl was trying for a threeway, probably.)

Anything I didn't specifically call out is probably self explanatory lol.

Thanks for the ask I love the excuse to talk about music!!

[ihavedonenothingright]

Hi, hello

I just saw your answer on a post asking for books for capri lovers and I've decided you have impeccable taste!!

I’m currently reading The Queen’s Thief, I already have the first book in the Alexander trilogy (I just know it s going to be good), and you just convinced me to give The Left Hand of Darkness a chance - I’ve never seen anyone sell it like that!

Now I’m really curious about your list of fav books. Selfishly, I’m hoping for anything with romance haha, but I’m just as excited to hear about anything without it

Ahhhh, thank you! I'm glad you think I have good taste ;) I think a lot of people try to sell TLHOD as a sci-fi classic first and an entertaining novel second—or they play up the gender element and don't touch on the things that actually make the novel a fun read: compelling characters, political shenanigans, and a central romance that's both incredibly unlikely and obviously right once it really starts to develop. Fair warning: you will cry.

My favorites list does include a lot of standard Tumblr classics, so you've probably read a few but let's see....

The Locked Tomb series is a really good read in my opinion. Intrigue and mystery? Check. An unlikely and challenging romance? Check. Really fucked up characters that I love specifically for being kind of fucked? Check. Seriously, I would tell someone to read this series solely for Ianthe Tridentarius and her horrible blonde scheming. But I also love both main characters—there's something inherently compelling about teenage girls using necromancy and immortal, godly politics to fuck with each other. Doubly so when one of them is completely out of the loop and struggling to adjust to the politicking. While being the other's silent guard dog. Sounds kinda familiar...

In a similar vein, I also highly recommend The Fever King by Victoria Lee. It has a sequel I haven't been able to get my hands on yet :( but ohhhh man is this book good if you already like something like Capri. It's a little X-Men (intentionally so, I think) in that it centers around a group of teenagers who, after contracting a deadly virus, developed mutations that gave them powers. It's a young adult book (new adult, maybe?) but it has all of the complexities you want out of this kind of story. There's something strange going on at the academy all these suddenly gifted kids are raised in. The protagonist develops a crush on a secretive, closed-off boy who turns out to be embroiled in it. There's murder, manipulation, a central mystery, social commentary... it makes me mad this book isn't more popular. The only asterisk I'm adding on here is that it has been a few years since I've read it, so I hope this review hasn't been influenced too much by my rose-tinted glasses. It also has a really good comic adaptation that is (unfortunately) hosted on Webtoons.

Would it be too cliche to add The Husky and His White Cat Shizun by Meatbun Does Not Eat Meat to this list? I'm doing it anyway. It does get very long, but I was invested in all of it from day one. It has one of the wildest plots I've ever read, spanning multiple timelines of scheming, and no matter how low its lows get, it ends on a kind of bittersweet, uplifting note? It gets really deep in the weeds of what it means to be a good person, and its central romance is a big piece of that. It's just so... satisfying might be a good word. Its romances are both tragic and sweet, its characters are fascinatingly fucked up, and it also has surprisingly good comedic beats. There are a bunch of people who really love this book, and half of that is just because its two main characters are incredible. Evil emperor yanked back into his 16 year old body and trying to pursue is past love/crush/childhood friend vs. the very handsome, very antisocial teacher he blames for said crush's death. And they're stuck unraveling an eternally convoluted plot that slowly begins to encroach on them. For a really long serially published novel, it has surprisingly good pacing.

And: not a romance, nor an adult book, but ohhh man is The Dark is Rising a good book/series. It's delightfully dark, and it reminds me a lot of The Queen's Thief in how well it understands its audience. It's just so fun. Arthurian legend mixed with 1970s England = children going on unsupervised quests through the mist while their parents remain oblivious. Susan Cooper is a master of craft. Honestly read anything by her and you'll probably come away satisfied. If you like Arthurian legend, Norse mythology, and Shakespeare, you'll run into a lot of references. Seriously, give it a shot ;)

Aaaand there's definitely more, but this is a really long post already. Thank you so much for the ask, and I hope I gave you some good recommendations!

[sailor-artemis]

Via the tags on your Y'shtola post I have an even hotter take/question: what is your opinion on FFXIV's use of faking deaths and do you think one or more of the Scions should have died for real in the last expansion?

This is kind of a tough question because I think it highlights an aspect of XIV as a live service game that pits the qualities it now depends on for survival against the narrative beats that might serve it the best as a story in a vacuum. All of that nonsense to say that at this point I don’t think they can kill any of the Scions on screen. Over the arc from Shadowbringers to Endwalker to Dawntrail, the Scions’ place as the tentpole the story revolves around seems to have only calcified more, and with so many people (yours truly included) centering a lot of their engagement with the game’s story and the fandom surrounding it around their particular favorite amongst the Scions, it feels like SE is backed into a corner where killing off any one Scion now would seem unfair, but killing them all off at once would take the story in a very different direction that, after Dawntrail, I imagine they would be reluctant to go down. The Scions have become the face of the franchise (quite literally, given their prominence in the new MTG crossover product; Y’shtola is literally in the art on every box of booster packs) and burning that brand recognition for an unknown narrative payoff seems pretty risky even looking at it optimistically.

(read more for length)

I think that it probably would’ve made some narrative sense to pay off at least one of the “fake out deaths” (Y’shtola’s second “sacrifice” in Shadowbringers is probably the best candidate for this, much as I’d be personally sad about it), but with everyone surviving both the journey back from the First and the events of Ultima Thule in the end, it seems like a pretty clear signal that they intend to keep these characters alive, for better or worse. And honestly, not knowing how things would go, I think both of the above mentioned moments still work for me, even though they end up being “fakeouts”. Maybe in Ultima Thule they could’ve stood to be a little less heavy-handed with the flashbacks explaining things, but like. I wouldn’t have been ugly crying for like 15-20 minutes solid during the bit where you walk to the end alone if it didn’t work to some degree.

Now! Do I personally think one or more Scions should’ve died in Dawntrail? My answer is no, though it comes with an asterisk. It kinda comes down to two things: Dawntrail’s tone in its two halves. In the first half, we have what ends up being a mostly light-hearted competition arc, with Wuk Lamat taking center stage as the protagonist and the WoL/Scions serving more as mentors and hired guns to help keep everyone safe. While there was certainly peril in this half of the story, I never felt like it would’ve been improved had characters simply died in those dangerous situations (Valigarmanda, Lamaty’i’s kidnapping, etc.). I think a death in this half would’ve read as being shocking for its own sake, and that clashes with the “summer vacation/beach episode” kinda vibe they were clearly going for. If there is a part where a death might’ve been plausible tonally, it would’ve been the second half, but given how tangential a role most of the Scions end up playing in the last three zones, I just don’t see a moment where any of them would be the one to take the brunt of a dangerous situation without the WoL or Wuk Lamat stepping in. All of that ignoring the fact that there’s already plenty of grieving and dead people happening in the second half, and given how hurried the pace already is, I don’t see a way to wedge in a Prominent Character Death without it basically becoming a footnote in the narrative. (My other hot gamer opinion is that this expansion likely should’ve been split into two, with the Feats being one expansion all to themselves, the weird stopover in Shaaloani being the patches between, and the journey into Alexandria and dealing with the fallout being a second expansion. They tried to do too much too quickly, and a lot of it feels very rushed, without the time to really marinate on the questions and themes they’re raising)

Back to that asterisk earlier: Do I think they should specifically kill a Scion or Scions? No, but I think they should start to sunset them before they end up writing themselves into even more of a corner than they already have. I say this as someone who likes the Scions! They’re fun characters! But given that many (if not all) of them have already completed their arcs and that the WoL has to be pretty generic in the actual game, the Scions remaining as the focal point indefinitely will likely keep the narrative stuck in this weird limbo forever. Everyone will go to a new location and see new things, but no one really grows or changes. I’d thought they would really lean harder into this after Endwalker when the Scions were “disbanded”; it seemed like the right time to have everyone go their separate ways, and have reasons to visit some of them in side content or here and there in MSQ. In Dawntrail they attempted to try and continue this by prominently featuring Wuk Lamat, her siblings, and Erenville (as well as trying to give Krile a bit more spotlight, even though it only sorta worked) as well as keeping Y’shtola and G’raha out of the narrative for a good while. Alas, eventually all of the Scions crept their way back in, and we kinda ended things back where we started. My hope really is that we completely leave them behind for a good chunk of the next expansion, and either get some time to get attached to Erenville or let some new characters have the spotlight. It feels like the best compromise between getting the story out of the Scion-shaped rut it’s started to carve for itself without having to officially kill anyone’s favorite video game character in canon (and we all know the fan creators will keep making narrative content about their faves even if they aren’t in the story much, I know I have with Yugiri).

Tl, dr: I don't think SE can kill the Scions and I think it's fine that they haven't followed through on the last couple fakeouts, but the Scions should probably be slowly phased out to ensure SE doesn't write themselves into a corner should this game continue for another decade.

Also. Who are you. You can just message me or ask regularly if you want. I'm not going to bite :3

[slashhinginghasher]

Into the Cricketverse

Butterfly Emerging From Chrysalis

Introduction: Marena’s POV | Introduction: Cricket’s POV* | Aftercare* | Bread* | Boundaries | Movie Night | Welcome to My Death Talk* | Mess* | Audition Tape | Hair Brushing | Cinnamon Rolls and Meat Tenderizers and Cigarettes, Oh My*

*asterisk denotes the parts written by the incomparable @thesightstoshowyou

~

Sickening silence stretched across the deck. From below, the distant sounds of beachgoers drifted upward, accompanied by the faint rush of the ocean.

Cricket choked back a desperate sob.

Marena's heart was pounding so hard her vision was going black around the edges, tunneling in on the hateful figure of Asa fucking Emory as he rose to his feet. He approached her slowly, deliberately. Inexorable. The animosity between them so powerful it had its own gravitational pull.

"You think you get-"

"Not think," she snapped, cutting him off. "I am telling you now. No more."

Asa's eyes widened, then narrowed.

"Cricket-"

"Do not fucking move, Cricket!"

Something in her face or her voice somehow cut through years of Asa's conditioning, because the other woman froze halfway out of her seat. Marena closed the distance between herself and Asa and, against all survival instincts shrieking "no!", jabbed a finger at his broad chest.

"You have problem with me? You deal with me." Articles dropped and vowels warped as her accent thickened in her mouth. "You want to hurt? You hurt me. Not her. Not again."

Asa's gaze had a physical weight, a black spear lancing through her and pinning her in place. His face, though, was calm. So calm, dangerously calm. The air is always stillest just before a storm. He looked down at the spot where she'd poked him. Glanced over her shoulder.

Then he turned around and went inside.

The iron pillar of her will began to falter, struggling to support the limbs that were as shaky and liquid as the rippling surface of the swimming pool. She swallowed the air more than she breathed it in. The sun beat down like a hammer, like a fist. It was hot. It was so hot. Something in her mind slipped and stuttered and fell out of place.

"What did you do?"

A trembling whisper was barely audible across the deck. The source of it, the woman staring at her in abject horror and terror, was not Hana. Her hair was too dark. Her eyes were the wrong color. The House Master would never allow them to wear such a garish shade of green.

But it could have been her. She cradled her arm protectively, clearly in pain.

They broke Hana's wrist first. Snapped the bone clean through under a booted heel. It was the only thing the girl saw before they locked her in the closet, left her to throw herself against the door and claw at the wood until her fingers bled while Hana screamed and screamed and screamed until she didn't anymore.

"It's okay," Marena croaked through numb lips. "It's okay. Not your fault. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

There was no art to her words as she staggered forward. She could have been speaking any language, English or Russian or the few words she knew of Polish or French, as she dropped to her knees and gripped the woman's shaking hand in both of her own. It was meaningless noise. It was desperation of the soul given a voice.

Forgive me. Forgive me. I'll do better this time. I'll take it all. They won't kill you again.

An arm like steel wrapped around her and hauled her to her feet. A piercing pain entered her neck and blossomed outward, burning through her veins. Everywhere the burning went, it left her limbs heavy and dead in its wake. Marena relaxed into it, waiting for the black pit of unconsciousness to swallow her.

It never came.

As Asa slung her unresponsive body over his shoulder, she realized he meant for her to feel every moment of what he had in store for her.

***

The basement smelled like bleach and a faint undercurrent of decay, same as it had the previous day. Asa dropped her unceremoniously on one of the tables with a clunk. Her body was so heavy; it felt like she would suffocate under the weight of her own flesh. She pushed carefully against the paralysis, feeling out the limits of the drug. Her eyes were the only thing that responded to her will, and even then the lids were slow and clumsy.

She kept them closed. Nothing here she wanted to see anyway.

The sensation of her clothes being cut away with a knife was a familiar one, but the nitrile covering the hands wielding the blade was not. Jesse never wore gloves when he touched her, not even when he was Chromeskull. Same reason he never wore a condom, he said. Not that she'd asked. The little corner of her mind that made her most ridiculous observations wondered if Asa was worried about catching something from her.

When she was bare, the gloved hands took hold of her feet. Thumbs moved over the scars Jesse had made on the soles. Asa flexed each foot, slowly rolling the ankle joint, before moving on to her calves. The touch was too impersonal to be sensual, too lingering to be clinical.

The higher those hands moved up her legs, the more she wanted to hyperventilate, though her lungs kept breathing steadily on their own like an unmanned bellows. If he raped her, she would self-destruct. She would collapse in on herself like a dying star and pull everything and everyone around her down with her to hell.

But when he reached the apex of her thighs, his touch moved outward, over her hips and up her rib cage. He took each of her hands in his - would he break the fingers? - then squeezed the scant muscle of her forearms. Finally, he pulled her gruffly into a sitting position, her head lolling awkwardly around her shoulders, and let her topple forward to slump against a bare, muscled torso. Her eyes fluttered weakly open at that, blurry vision landing on a tattoo as familiar to her now as her own skin.

She hadn't even heard Jesse come in. Sounds were muffled and rang oddly in her head, as though they were coming from the other end of a very long tunnel. Asa had pushed her hair out of the way and was now inspecting her back, hands moving in parallel on either side of her spine and pinching the skin at regular intervals. He said something; Jesse's phone squawked in response. The gloved hands left her body.

Metal clinked and clattered somewhere in the background. Jesse's skin was slightly damp, like he'd toweled off in a hurry before coming down. His bare hands moved over her body in Asa's stead, stroking, tracing, caressing. From another man, to another woman, the motions might have been calming, intended to soothe. But Marena could feel his eager hardness pressed against her. He was looking forward to this as much as if he'd planned it himself.

How many men had she felt this way? How many, lining up, salivating for a taste of her pain? Too many. Men with ropes, men with knives, men who wielded their own bodies as weapons. Too many hands on her, around her, in her, to keep track of.

(How many cold mornings by the river, how many cruel evenings by a dying hearth? How many whip-thin branches cracking against her skin, how many stones, how many fists? How many silent nights spent pleading to the dark and empty wild come, come, take me away, I am ready, please come? Did they watch her then with hungry eyes? Did they lick their teeth impatiently, waiting for her to grow big enough so they could hurt her from the inside out and not just the outside in?)

The world swirled around her as she was lifted and rearranged. Her head laid to rest in a man's lap. Smooth, hard surface beneath her back, her thighs, a rounded edge digging into her knees. The gloved hands returned, made tiny dots here and there along her skin. Her foot was propped against a solid, fabric-clad thigh. Metal scraped against metal.

When the first length of wire entered her foot - piercing the top, slipping between the fragile bones, and exiting through the sole - she thought she might die. By the third, she was certain she would, that her heart would simply explode in her chest. When the wire threaded through her ankles in the gap between tendon and bone, she thought she might already be dead.

Up and up it went, piercing, puncturing, slicing. Sometimes it traveled just below the skin; in other places, it burrowed deep into the muscle. More wire wrapped her like a spider's web, in turns tight enough to cut into her skin and loose enough that she could barely feel it.

Once, she'd gone down to the river after a particularly bad whipping and stood thigh deep in the frigid water until her legs went numb. When feeling returned, it was like cold fire licking at her flesh, joints aching like teeth. She'd wept silently under her favorite tree while her skin burned and froze.

Once, a careless House Guest left her bound after he'd had his way with her. By the time they cut her free the next morning, she was benumbed from the waist down. When blood returned to the deadened limbs, it was like a thousand jabs from a needle. She'd pressed the flesh of her forearm between her teeth to keep from crying out as her muscles cramped and spasmed.

The pain was like that now, magnified a hundredfold and suspended at the moment of greatest agony. Blood, where it dripped, felt at once hot and cold against her skin. Muscles attempted to twitch against the countless intrusions but could not move for the paralytic drug still in her veins.

The slide of a needle passing through her fingertip tasted like bile and hot metal. Slag pouring down her throat and shivering up her finger bones. Again, again. Up, down, over. She was a sensation repeating. There was nothing left to her.

She tried in vain to disconnect, even willed herself to pass out. But every time she nearly managed it, the second pair of hands, the ungloved ones, would pass over a part of her body that was sensitive in a different way, and the little bloom of pleasure would mire her once again in her own flesh. She hated those hands. Hated them in a way that made her blood burn brighter, hotter, that set her already searing nerves ablaze and made the agony of her torment that much worse.

Every nerve screamed in concert as she was rolled onto her stomach, head turned carefully to the side so she did not suffocate against the table. Something punctured her back, something thicker than wire, thicker than a needle, and stayed there. Another. Another. Down, over. Down, over.

The hands - those wicked, detestable hands! - curled beneath her armpits, lifted her upright, higher, higher, until her feet dangled freely above the earth, a sable in the claws of an eagle. Jangling of metal, more, yes, more, and a warm pressure against her mouth. Something tugged very sharply at her back in a sensation that was not really pain, not quite. The hands released her.

And then she was weightless.

***

"Damn it, Jesse, hold her head still."

Jesse snickered silently, then cupped his hands more firmly on either side of Marena's face before ducking down to nuzzle at her mouth again. It was a sickeningly affection gesture. Had the man possessed a working set of vocal cords, Asa felt sure, he would have been murmuring sweet nothings in the girl's ear.

Pathetic.

It was not his best work. Far from it, but then he'd had to work around the limited equipment available and the ludicrous restrictions Jesse had placed on him. Nothing that would lead to permanent disfigurement - no flaying, no amputations. No alteration of the face unless Jesse specifically and unequivocally approved it beforehand. Nothing that would, in the other man's exact words, permanently break her.

Not to mention the difficulties of having a 6'7", nearly naked pest hell-bent on shoving his tongue down the throat of Asa's subject when he needed her stationary. It had taken several vicious reprimands to keep the man's fingers away from her cunt while he worked.

Absolutely fucking pathetic.

Asa didn't work in reversible. Still, he'd managed to create something he could be proud of.

Wire wrapped the girl from waist to toe, dipping in and out of the meat and skin until her legs were a dizzying blur of metal and flesh, excess wire forming an unraveling chrysalis around her. For the hands and arms, he'd taken thread from Cricket's embroidery kit - grey and white webbing her fingers, longer strands draping from forearm to waist so she appeared to be pulling free from a mass of silk. Two neat columns of suspension piercings marched down her back. Chains, both large and small, radiated outward to form her wings and suspend her from one of the metal frameworks Jesse so favored.

(He typically mounted his pieces directly on the wall, but could appreciate the advantages of the frame. He might have to invest in some for the hotel.)

Asa was braiding her hair through the chains now, darkening the basal wing like a Parnassius behrii. The tension would keep her head held aloft and facing forward. No unsightly slumping to interrupt the lines of the work. He'd had to discard his gloves when the blood-tacky material kept catching, irritatingly, on the strands, and he had to admit he was surprised by how soft the hair was. In his mind, everything about Marena was as coarse and rough as her unrestrained mouth and untrained manners. That the reality differed so greatly - luxurious curls, smooth skin interrupted only by the abundant lines of scar tissue - unsettled him in a way that he could not define.

Jesse had given a thorough recounting of the girl's scars whenever he caught Asa's eyes lingering on a particular one. Asa recognized the remnants of Jesse's own handiwork easily enough, but the stories behind the older scars seemed... improbable at best. Rats and bears and sadistic whoremongers, changelings and psychotic mothers. It sounded like an amalgamation of twisted fairy tales, and he wouldn't be surprised if the brat had made it all up. The scars were certainly there, though. That much could not be denied. Asa had cut into enough bodies over the years that he could effortlessly read depth, age, and severity in the marred skin left behind.

If he'd been able to transfigure her unfettered, he would have opened every one of those scars and carved out mirror images to match, turned her into a work of perfect symmetry.

He had considered piercing her breasts and genitals, but Jesse would have enjoyed that far too much, and Asa was not feeling particularly magnanimous towards the man at the moment. He'd also planned to sew her mouth shut, let the little cur try to spit and swear and rage from behind stitched lips. But she hadn't spoken yet.

Not. One. Damn. Word.

The drug had worn off enough by now for her to make some sort of noise; he had calculated the dose down to a ten minute window, could see the faint involuntary twitching of her hands and feet. Yet she remained silent as a statue. It went against every expectation he had of her behavior, against every demonstration he had witnessed of it. He was ready for her defiance now - wanted it, even, so that he could subjugate it further - and she did not give it to him. Disobedience through complete surrender. It was infuriating, and it was confusing, and Asa did not like being confused.

Unfortunately, and to his great consternation, Jesse could be damnably perceptive at the most inconvenient times.

"YOU KNOW, IF YOU'D WAITED TEN MORE SECONDS I WOULD HAVE PULLED HER IN AND YOU COULD HAVE HEARD HER SCREAM."

"Cromeans-" Asa cut himself off, pulling a deep breath in through his nose before continuing through clenched teeth. "Go and fetch Cricket."

"AND SEEN HER ALL SOAKING WET-"

"Go!" he snarled over the electronic voice, dangerously close to a shout.

Jesse's laughter was a soft clicking as he threw his head back and cackled, but he set off for the elevator without any additional comments. The athletic shorts he wore were hardly better than the ridiculous bathing suit he'd emerged in earlier, and did nothing to hide the erection he'd had almost from the moment he'd entered the basement. Asa's own arousal pressed uncomfortably against his zipper, but that was merely his natural reaction to the act of cutting into flesh and had nothing to do with the person this flesh was attached to, no matter how irresistible Jesse seemed to think his ghastly little pet was.

Still, he couldn't help drawing comparisons between Marena and Cricket now that he'd had the opportunity to thoroughly observe the former. Although she was no longer the skin and bones she'd been at their first meeting, Marena still had the rangy musculature of a stray dog, clearly inferior to Cricket's smooth, toned dancer's body. The lankiness of the Russian's limbs made her seem taller than her diminutive height when seen from a distance, but up close Asa had to wonder how Jesse managed the restraint to keep from breaking her little body in half.

With Cromeans gone, silence filled the basement. Objectively, the man moved like a ghost, but his presence was loud. Its absence created an empty space that allowed the rest of the room to make itself known. The faint tick of the air conditioning blowing through the vents. The irregular drip, drip of blood, each drop trembling on its string and wire branches like dew, like rubies, before falling to the concrete below. Marena, suspended, eyes shut, motionless and serene as a porcelain doll.

Asa slapped her, hard enough to set the chains jingling since her head couldn't turn to the side. Her brow furrowed slightly; a hint of a wince tightened the corners of her mouth. He slapped her again on the other cheek.

"Look at me."

She did.

Where Cricket's eyes were warm, the color of earth and moss and growing things, Marena's were the merciless blue of a frozen lake in the depths of winter. The expression in them was not the rage he expected, nor the fear he craved. If he had to put a name to it, he would say desolation. Fathomless sorrow and the bone-deep resignation of a person forced to pick up a burden both familiar and unbearable. It put him in mind of Sisyphus setting his shoulder to the stone once again. Prometheus, baring new flesh to the eagle's beak.

The first time he'd laid eyes on her, that dreary autumn morning in his foyer, the word ethereal had been among the first to pop into his head. His Collector's mind had filled with images of etched glass, carved ivory, layers of delicate moth wings like flurries of snow. She had seemed more statue than girl already: the shape of her bones under bloodless skin, the long, white dress Jesse had wrapped her in, her stillness, her silence.

That had been a lie, of course. A carefully crafted facade of meekness so convincing that even he had been fooled right up 'til the moment she struck. With the illusion shattered, he'd seen her for what she really was: cornered prey that thought its mindless thrashing made it a predator. A feral creature lucky enough to stumble upon a master that found its savagery amusing.

But now, forced as she was into repose by his own hand, he could see the artistic potential in her again.

"You could be something magnificent if he did not suffer such a lack of vision," Asa murmured, almost to himself. Dark eyes traced her form, drinking in the contrast between black hair and pale skin, between gleaming metal and the glowering crimson of blood.

No, not his best work, but striking nonetheless.

He stepped forward, once, twice, thrice, until he stood nearly nose to nose with her. Close enough to feel the gentle puffs of her breath. He notched the blade of a paring knife under her chin - a warning. He'd seen the scars on Jesse's fingers, would never understand why the other man seemed charmed by them.

Asa raised a hand to the side of her neck. Her oldest scar, Jesse had said; some damning epithet long since stretched and faded into illegibility. The tissue was barely raised as he traced the curves and lines of it. It could have been a birthmark, etched into her skin from the moment she entered the world.

Marena's eyes grew glassy, welled up, spilled over. Crystalline tears tracking down cheeks still reddened from the palm of his hand. Allowing himself a moment of indulgence, Asa leaned in and laved his tongue over her cheek.

Her tears tasted different from Cricket's. More bitter, somehow. Colder.

Beneath his fingers, he could feel her throat working as though she was trying to speak. Drawing back, he watched her lips part and quiver. Words crept out, barely audible, but he caught the shape of them. The misery in her eyes could have drowned oceans.

He drew the blade across her throat.

Not deep enough to kill, no. Just enough for a thin sheet of blood to cover her neck like a stage curtain being lowered, to pool at her shoulders and collarbones and trickle down her sternum. Breath came shallow as he watched a small rivulet follow the curve of her breast - smaller than Cricket's - down to a pert nipple.

He took a hasty step back at the sound of the elevator's arrival, wiping his hand against his pants leg. Cricket still needed to be punished, of course, for allowing herself to be touched by unworthy hands. Several ideas had come to mind over the past hours while he worked.

The elevator door slid open, and Cricket screamed.

***

"She won't come. She never does."

[sophieinwonderland]

Hot take: Sometimes I think "you don't deserve your trauma" can come with an asterisk.

It's a good saying and I mostly agree with it. But sometimes you have actual bullies and abusers who are hurting innocent people, causing trauma to them, and then are traumatized themselves when their victims have finally taken enough and decide to give them back of fraction of the damage they caused.

And yes, this post is inspired specifically by drama on here with a certain user who was posting triggering content to endo safe tags with posts that were extremely harmful to traumagenic and mixed origin allies.

I have no doubt that being called out by someone they previously trusted caused some degree of trauma to them. I mean, it must have if they're still triggered by it. Still being thrown into what appear like trauma responses at the mention of my name.

But I also wouldn't have acted any differently. I still maintain that whatever trauma I caused them by calling them out for traumatizing others was justified. And I would do it again in a heartbeat. Their emotional wellbeing isn't my priority when they're hurting people in my community.

But I'm not just thinking of them. I'm also thinking of the domestic abusers who spend years hurting their spouses or children, only to be arrested for it and traumatized by being locked up. If a child molester is beat up in prison when people find out what they did and are traumatized by that, it would seem pretty silly to say they didn't deserve their trauma.

I understand why the saying exists. I understand why it's necessary. Abusers are very good at convincing their victims that the victims deserve what they suffered. But sometimes... the people who are traumatized ARE the abusers.

Sometimes people are ostracized by people they love for bigotry and that leaves them traumatized. Sometimes people realize a bully is manipulating their peers into hurting others and the bully is traumatized by people realizing what they are. Sometimes people harm loved ones so deeply that those loved ones grow to hate them, and being hated by someone you used to rely on can be traumatizing.

I guess what I'm saying is that not enough people acknowledge that perpetrators of abuse can be traumatized when people they abuse fight back, or others stand up for the abused.

And this can create an environment where abusers can find room to play victim.

If no one deserves their trauma, then the logical conclusion is that anyone who claims to be traumatized, even from the response to their own actions, must be the victim.

I just want to inject the nuance that there are some people out there who do deserve what they get. It's okay to acknowledge that perpetrators of abuse can be traumatized by the repercussions to their actions, and those repercussions are both deserved and often necessary.

[fantasyheroine]

Written in the Stars - Chapter 6

Pairings: Astarion x Tav

Rating: Explicit

Summary: For months Astarion and Tav have been growing closer and both of them would consider the other a good friend at this point. But is friendship really what either of them truly want? One night has the potential to change their relationship forever. Will the two of them be able to overcome the hurdles a new romance throws their way while they navigate the impending threat of the Netherbrain? Or will past trauma's come back to haunt them permanently? Get swept up in this whirlwind of passion, love, and fear as the characters of Baldur's Gate 3 take on the Cult of the Absolute.

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Chapter 6: A Night Amongst the Stars

Word Count: 8,084

Warnings: Smut, PiV, Unprotected Sex, Outdoor Sex, References to SA, Past Trauma

Song: I Won't Tell a Soul - Charlie Puth

A/N: To make this fic friendly to all readers I have marked the beginning of the smut with three asterisks. The story that follows after it is not necessary to the grand scheme of the plot so feel free to skip over it if it makes you uncomfortable. Please be aware that this is my first time writing anything erotic so if it is not all you hoped it would be try and stay kind. Also the lyrics of the song for this chapter don’t match perfectly with the story but I really liked the vibes the song provided so I went with it anyways. As a final note the screenshot is mine. Please do not reuse it without permission.

As Tav slipped away Astarion’s fangs bared, his handsome face scrunching up in frustration. She climbed to her feet, backing up a pace or two to calm her thundering heart. His mouth slowly closed, fists pushing him back onto parted knees. Muscular arms dropped to his sides as he slowly sat back on his heels. His crotch and chest protruded forwards as his back arched in a plea. Those fluffy curls she so adored swayed as his head fell back to look up at her. Heat shot straight to her core at the primal want his eyes screamed as he watched her. She didn’t think a man had ever looked at her like that before. Her awkward cough broke the intensity he had created allowing her the chance to turn away. Hungry eyes tracked the sway of her hips but she didn’t stick around long enough to notice. Light feet carried her to her tent that someone in the party had kindly set up, and as the flap closed behind her she dropped the mask of calm she had been trying to maintain. Her still gloved hands flew to her beating heart as she tried to get it to slow down. A lump developed in her throat causing her to choke on her next shaky breath. She could feel the red fire dancing along her skin; her blush spreading from the tips of her pointy ears down to the trimmed nails of her toes. Her hand connected with her cheek. *Snap out of it Tav! Come on girl, get a grip on yourself.* She slapped herself again. The sting left behind a faint handprint. She tore off her gloves so fingers could card through her messy hair. *Breathe. Come on body, breathe!”* 

Frantically she picked up a carafe of water scattered amongst her things, uncorking it to dump the cold liquid on her heated face. Droplets dribbled down her exposed abdomen adding wetness to the puddle building between her legs. She ripped her chainmail bottoms off of her as fast as she could, tugging the rough fabric of her traveling pants down along with it. A hand flew to her groin and she swore. A new pair of underwear was in order. Peeling the damp cloth from her body she stripped the rest of her clothes and began the search for new ones. Hidden under a group of sacks she found her chest of personal belongings. A swipe knocked the bags off the top of it letting her access its contents. Her favorite camp outfit thankfully sat at the top of her things right where she had packed it. The search for a new pair of undergarments however took a bit longer. She grabbed the first set she could find. A black, half mesh half lace mini corset bra that tied up in the front with silk laces. Its counterpart, a strappy, black thong. She glanced at her intended clothes. The white asymmetrical tank would let the black of her bra show through. The open, dusty grey vest she typically paired with the shirt too small to cover her breasts. Another shout for dinner had her biting the bullet and pulling on the unfortunate combo. The way Karlach’s eyes immediately went to her chest the moment she stepped up to the campfire told her that the cloth of her shirt was not thick enough to hide the shadowy brassier that lay underneath.

With a sigh she moved to go sit next to her friend. She could feel eyes on her the moment she sat down. Once again her body blushed. She knew who was watching her. Could literally picture the sight of his desire stricken face in her mind. Arms came up to try and cover her chest but did the opposite and enhanced the size of her bust. Karlach glanced down at where her bra was showing through even more now that she had unintentionally pulled the cloth of her shirt tighter against her bosom. Her arms shifted from a fold of forearms to a self hug she hoped would cover her better. The barbarian laughed.

“You intend to do that? Pair black with white?”

Tav grimaced and shifted yet again.

“It was all I could find.”

Karlach smirked while she continued her teasing.

“You sure you’re not dressing up for somebody?”

Instantly she spit out a protest.

“Why would I dress up for Astarion!?”

The Tiefling’s smirk turned wicked and the woman leaned in conspiratorially.

“I never said anything about Astarion, Tav, but it is interesting that your mind immediately went to him considering the fact you’ve been ignoring the man since he stepped foot back into camp. Care to share whatever I’m missing?”

Brown eyes widened in horror and she spit out her response way too fast to be convincing.

“Nothing!”

She attempted to recover her blunder with smooth words.

“I promise, you’re not missing anything.”

Even to her ears she could tell her tone spoke of lies. Blunt teeth bit down on her tongue in an attempt to stop her from making the situation any worse. Her pride was wounded enough at the failed lie. Karlach rolled her head in a semicircle clearly exasperated.

“Oh c’mon soldier. You think I didn’t notice the shift between the two of you today? His eyes haven’t left your form since the moment we began scouting this morning. And right now he looks like he could eat you right up. So what happened?”

Tav glanced across the fire in search of the man in question. Astarion was casually lounging on a withered stump. His body looked relaxed but the expression on his face indicated something entirely different. He looked ravenous and not for the goblet of wine balanced languidly between his fingers. No, his smouldering gaze was entirely focused on her. Bright red erupted across her cheeks and she quickly diverted her attention back to Karlach. Abruptly she stood.

“I’m gonna go get some food!”

Her announcement rang throughout the campsite far louder than she intended it to. Cringing, she tried to maintain her dignity as she made her way to where the food had been laid out. A small round table had been assigned to housing the daily meals, its face now displaying an array of cooked meats and vegetables. Tav plated a large portion for herself making sure to leave enough for Lae’zel who always went back for seconds. She adamantly avoided looking at Astarion again even though her curiosity begged her to know if his expression had changed. With more confidence than she felt, she found her place next to Karlach once more and began the routine debrief the party had developed for evening meals. As she informed those who had not been on the scouting trip of what had occurred during the day, she found the task of not looking at Astarion harder and harder. When Gale took over the conversation with an elaborate story about one of their many encounters with scorned cultists, the temptation to glance Astarion’s way finally defeated her willpower. Cautious brown met blazing red. Pink lips curled up into a devilish smirk, a white eyebrow raising as ear tips twitched expectantly. Humor and desire both danced within his eyes but unlike all the other times he had looked at her with lust, she could not find any trace of dishonesty. He looked like he was genuinely enjoying the sight of her and the thoughts she was certain had come along with it.

Tav’s own ears angled backwards like a bashful cat’s. Her high pitched squeak interrupted whatever story was in the midst of being told, causing everyone’s attention to turn to her. The woman’s embarrassment was palpable. Karlach stifled a giggle. Gale paused in his tale and Halsin subtly focused on Astarion. The rogue was still smirking but it was clear to the druid that he was losing his composure. With a smile to himself the bear of a man spoke up through the confused silence.

“Tav?”

Her attention wandered away from mentally cursing Astarion’s name to solely focusing on her friend. Her empty plate sat on her lap, shifting slightly when her body had momentarily jumped at the sound of her name.

“Um yeah? What’s up?”

Halsin briefly made eye contact with Karlach, barely inclining his head towards the Vampire. She caught on to his meaning and nudged Wyll before whispering in his ear. The Blade looked between Tav and Astarion then passed the secret message along to Gale who in turn passed it onto Shadowheart who sighed before tadpoling instructions to keep quiet to Lae’zel.

“Seeing as you are done with your dinner could I trouble you into going out and fetching us more firewood? I’m afraid I only collected enough to fuel the making of dinner and not the entire night.”

“Oh. Uh, of course.”

The ranger stood, plate clattering to the ground as she forgot its existence due to her flustered state. Karlach picked the dinnerware up before she could begin stooping down. With a thank you Tav made her way over to the weapon’s chest, selecting an axe from inside, fully missing the pile of timber accumulated not far from it. Axe in hand she made her way to the edges of the woods, disappearing inside soon after.

The moment her figure fully vanished, Astarion climbed to his feet. He ignored the chorus of barely contained chuckles coming from the majority of the companions watching him as he began rushing after Tav. It took him no time to catch up with her, her body coming into view as the sound of her using the axe she had grabbed resonated against the fallen branch she was working on chopping. She was bent over the bough, stuck on splitting a particularly stubborn grain of wood completely unaware that he had followed her and that her current position had her shapely butt on full display. The tight, patchwork leather of her trousers hugged every curve, perfectly accentuating just how toned her bottom was. Thick and presumably juicy. As she stood to swing once more, his eyes tracked the little bounce in her cheeks. His head tilted, ears perked forwards, eyes zeroing in. Her butt bounced again. His breathing sped up. Teeth and fangs scraped over plush flesh as he pulled at his bottom lip. His once hurried steps took on more urgency and he found himself jogging over to where she was working. The moment she was within arms reach, pale limbs were shooting out to wrap around her waist. With flawless finesse Tav was spun around, desperate hands eagerly sliding down to that enticing ass of hers. In one fell swoop her legs were pulled up around his hips as his mouth came smashing down against hers.

Cold skin and the smell of bergamot invaded her senses immediately giving away the identity of who had snuck up on her. Tav didn’t protest as Astarion guided her legs around his midsection, casually letting the axe drop as her hands flew to his shoulders gripping him firmly. He carried her over to the nearest tree and she felt rough bark scratching along her back as he pushed her up against it, but she couldn’t find it in her to care about the twinge of pain. Astarion was kissing her. Again. And this time, it was obvious that he knew exactly what he was doing. While the two kisses they’d shared had the similarity of being suddenly initiated by him, this one felt nothing like its predecessor. No. His current kiss was full of desperate longing and not brokenhearted confusion like it had been before. She threw her head against the tree, choking back her astonishment as he pressed his crotch firmly against hers. The already hard length of him rubbed deliciously against her most sensitive parts as he gave a single roll of his hips.

The little gasp of surprise she let out made it far too easy for him to slip his tongue into her mouth. He took care in tasting every inch of the exposed space. Hints of cherries and currant met his taste buds causing a groan to start to rise in the back of his throat. He continued to lap at the inside of her mouth as he chased after the taste of the fruity wine she had consumed with her dinner. His hips rolled up into hers for a second time of their own accord and he noted with a foggy mind the way her heels dug deeper into his back in an attempt to pull his body closer. He pressed her further into the tree using a hand to brace himself as he gave in to the pull. She let out another little gasp and the sound was swallowed as it passed from her lips to his. He didn’t hold back the rumble of pleasure that came from deep within his chest. The hand still on her butt squeezed at the cushiony muscle bringing forth a low purr from inside him. That animalistic noise intensified as he squeezed again and again. That single hand gripped and pulled at the flesh of her thighs, her hips, and her ass relentlessly. He groaned, tugging at her bottom lip in time with his drags across her body.

The sounds Astarion was making had Tav’s head spinning. He sounded like a man obsessed. Obsessed with her. Gods, this was heavenly! Better than all of the fantasies her mind had concocted since falling for him. Better than any other man she had kissed. Astarion was actually kissing her! And better yet, he was kissing her like he desired no one but her. Like she was the only woman in the whole world he craved. He was the only man she craved… Her desire to show him just how much she wanted him in return spurred her to fight back against his tongue’s barrage of exploration. Pushing against the invading body part with her own rewarded her with another delicious rumble from him. Strategically she traced along the underside of his wet muscle before swirling around the tip of it. His resulting moan had him parting his lips just enough for her to force her way into his mouth. She wasted no time in partaking in her own investigation of his oral cavity. Her tongue ran along the roof of the damp space, licking and lapping, then transitioned to tracing over the shape of his teeth. When she reached the first fang, she intentionally pricked herself on the sharp point.

The incredible sweetness of her blood invaded his senses giving him mere moments to savour it before she had once again pushed herself deep inside his mouth. It was almost as if she was encouraging him to indulge in the taste of her crimson through the action. His lips puckered as he began to wantonly suck on her bleeding tongue. He opened his eyes for a brief second as her hands threaded into his hair to find her watching him with blown out pupils. When the last drop of blood had been consumed he pulled off of her with an audible slurp. Their combined spit dribbled down his chin mixed with the slightest tint of red. He could only imagine what he looked like. Hair mussed from where her hands had run through it, red eyes glinting with lust, fangs bared through his smirk. Slowly, and with maintaining eye contact for as long as he could, he dipped his head down to her neck. There he licked a sensual stripe from the hollow of her throat all the way up to behind the back of her ear.

“Astarion!!!”

The loud moan resulted in a dark chuckle fanned across the shell of her ear. A light nibble to the tip of the point had her shuddering. He left a series of quick nips and licks up and down her neck, occasionally tugging at one of her various earrings here and there with his teeth. Everytime he went back to her sensitive Elven ear to tease the reddening cartilage, jolts of electricity shot straight to her core lighting her body on fire. She was panting in a shorter amount of time than she had expected she’d be. While she had always believed him, it was clear that Astarion hadn’t been lying when he’d said he was good at this. With only his mouth he had worked her up into a burning inferno leaving her craving to kiss him again while chasing the promise of more. It was a form of skill mastery beyond anything she could have imagined. Her body keened as it ached to grind against his, to feel the roll of his hips for a third time, but doing so was a struggle with how tightly he had her pinned. Instead fingers threaded through silken locks once more tugging him away from her neck with a jerk. Her lips came crashing down upon his, this time with a pace set only by her as she indulged in him in the only way she currently could.

Ever the astute lover, Astarion picked up on her desires immediately. He reconnected their groins but not without releasing a loud groan as she pulled on his hair. A barely visible flush made its way to his cheeks but he had no time to try and suppress it as she instantly assaulted his mouth with a blazing kiss. Their tongues were battling for dominance within a second of the reconnection. In a sneaky attempt to win, he slyly moved the hand holding her butt underneath the fabric of her camp shirt, brazenly dancing his fingers against the skin of her side in a feather light touch. Her attack faltered and he immediately took control. With a growl he had her pushed harder against the trunk of the tree. Every inch of his body was touching hers and he could feel the rise and fall of her large breasts brushing across his chest as they swelled at his new vigour. With limited restraint he began to grind the length of himself against her center at a steady pace. He savoured each gasp and moan that vibrated upon his lips. The pressing of his crotch against hers sped up and soon he was pulling away from her mouth to keep kissing and biting her neck. He needed more. Needed her. So with a low rumble into her throat he made his request.

“Say yes.”

The words broke through the haze that had overcome her and she was stuttering as she tried to speak in return.

“Wha… What?”

She wasn’t quite sure if she had heard him correctly. He’d asked her to say yes? Yes to him? Did he want to start a relationship with her? Or was he simply looking for confirmation that what he was doing was ok? This make out session was fine with her as long as it didn’t go farther. She tried to clear her head enough to think about what he meant by his words but his voice cut through her thoughts.

“Tell me you want this dammit!”

His words came out as a rough, needy growl. He wanted her so badly. Needed her to say yes. Months upon months of sexual tension was fueling him. Hormones were running rampant. The realization he had made as to his feelings for her driving him to the brink of a love slash lust crazed insanity. In this clearing, under the stars, he wanted nothing more than to throw her to the ground and ravage her until she was a screaming mess of tears chanting his name. But a lifetime as a slave had instilled in him that verbal consent was of the utmost importance no matter what her body might be telling him. So he held himself back, asking for confirmation instead of giving in to his desires. Never once did he stop kissing up and down her neck though, unable to pull himself away from adoring the lovely pulse point that provided him food and life.

“Astarion I…!”

Tav tried to start protesting. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him, she had dreamt for ages about having sex with him; but all of it was happening so fast and they had barely talked about what would come of their relationship besides the apology he had given her. She needed reassurance that this wouldn’t be a one time thing. That he wanted her in the same way she wanted him. She couldn’t just sleep with him and then have things go back to the way they were before. It would destroy her. She began her protest once more but an unwanted moan interrupted her.

“I…! Mhm…!”

Astarion heard her start to speak before she broke off with a shuddering sigh of pleasure as he started sucking a mark under her jawbone. He knew he should pull away until she gave him the go ahead but he couldn’t help himself. He could smell the scent of her arousal and it smelled absolutely divine. He wanted nothing more than to taste the sweet substance flowing from between her legs. But he couldn’t. Not yet. She had to say yes first. Confirm that she wanted this. Wanted him. In an attempt to consume a fraction of what he was smelling he continued to attack her neck with frantic kisses and little love bites, licking at the tiny beads of sweat that had broken out across her skin. It was a poor substitute for what he actually wanted to be licking at. His assault never waned as he waited for Tav to formulate a cohesive enough sentence which would give him permission to take things further. They had to take things further. He thought he might die if they didn’t. The words he wished to hear never came and instead she said the last thing he wanted.

“I… I think you should slow down.”

It was hard to speak past the moans and sighs sneaking their way out of her lips but Tav did eventually manage to get the words out. She heard Astarion let out an angry hiss but he pulled away from her body nonetheless. He kept his hand braced above her head but respectfully lifted the toned expanse of himself off of her enough so that their only point of contact was her legs still wrapped around his waist. Her hands had fallen from his shoulders ages ago and were now pressed behind her as her fingers pried pieces of bark from the tree in worry. She couldn’t meet his eyes as he swore.

“Shit!” he panted. “Why do you always do this? You just keep turning me down! Why can’t you just let me pleasure you!?”

He was frustrated beyond imagination. All he wanted desperately was to make her feel good. Let himself feel good. Where once his desire to sleep with her hadn’t been honest, it now was. He loved her. He wanted to love her. Wanted to show that love to her in the only way he knew how. He knew he wasn’t going to be any good with heartfelt words. Nor did he think he’d be any good at non sexual intimacy. Cuddling always led him back to bad memories. He had no clue what he could offer her besides himself. What was expected of him when he loved someone and they potentially loved him in return. He had no clue. But this. His body, tonight, willingly giving himself over to her every desire, he could give her this. Hells, he wanted to. For the entirety of the life he could remember, sex had never once been his choice. It was a tool he’d been forced to use every night at the whims of his master. But sex was his choice now. And he found himself undoubtedly wanting it. With her… But no. She had said no. Like she always did. Even after excessively making out with him. Even despite how turned on he could tell she was. All of it was driving him mad. He had never been in this situation before. Wanting someone who for some reason kept denying they wanted him back. His temper rose with unwanted ease as she stumbled out the beginnings of another excuse. With the spark now uncontrollably lit he cut her off with a slam of his fist against the tree.

“Oh for fucks sake Tav! Just take what I am offering for once! Don’t you want this!?”

She did. She really did. But she also didn’t. She couldn’t give in. Not without the promise of more. No matter how badly her body was screaming at her to cave. Not even with how attractive Astarion looked leaning over her while aggressively panting. No. She had to stay firm. This was no different than all the other times they had flirted. It had gotten a little out of control, yes, but that didn’t mean it was any different. He hadn’t made any indication that he wanted anything more than a night with her. That this whole day wasn’t all a part of an elaborate trick. Sure he had confessed he didn’t want to leave her side but that didn’t mean he wanted her as his partner. He could have fully been only saying such things to manipulate her or potentially talking about their friendship if he had meant it. There had been nothing said to imply he wanted… her. *He said he wants your relationship to mean something too.* Tav swallowed down the hope rising up inside her. She had to stay firm. She couldn’t do this.

“No.”

It came out quietly and she cringed at the hurt that was so clearly conveyed through that one word. Within seconds Astarion was roaring and she couldn’t understand why he was so upset about this.

His sharp nails made a screeching noise as they scratched down the length of the tree. Torn up pieces of bark landed on Tav’s shoulders as he continued to shred the elm.

“WHY NOT!? WHY WON’T YOU JUST USE ME FOR WHAT I AM GOOD FOR!?”

She didn’t shy away at the flare of his blazing anger. Her resolve remained strong, like a rock untouched by the wind. If he had taken the time to analyze her expression he would have seen that she was upset by her words just as much as he was. The sound of her shaky voice had his attention redirecting to her and for a second he worried that he had frightened her. But no. That wasn’t the face one made when they were scared. That was the look of someone deep in pain.

“I can’t.”

Broad shoulders drooped, his hands left the tree. He held back the tears threatening to fall as he spoke with dejection.

“Why? Why Tav? Why?”

The pain on her face doubled at the hurt in his words. Her hands dug deeper into the tree trunk until she too was creating bark dust. Her own tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. All at once they came rushing out with a sob.

“IT’S BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! GODS! How have you not gotten it through your thick skull yet!? I love you, Astarion! I love you so. damn. much! I have loved you for months… And it hurts! It hurts knowing you will never feel the same! Not once have I ever wanted to use your body or have you pleasure me. Not without knowing that I have you. I don’t want something shallow or transactional. I want you! Don’t you see? If I give in and let myself sleep with you that will be it. I will never be able to stop loving you then… And it will break me. Not being loved in return will break me. And I don’t think I could take it if my heart were to shatter.”

Astarion’s tears finally fell. The silent cascade ran from his eyes to his chin until they were dripping onto Tav’s face. She loved him. Loved. Him. Like he loved her. The whole day he had so desperately wanted to believe that what Gale had said could be true. And here she had gone and provided him the confirmation he had been longing for. She loved him. Wanted to love him. Wanted to be loved by him. He no longer felt sad. No longer felt angry nor rejected. She loved him. Loved everything he was and everything he could be. A gleeful smile overtook his face and he couldn’t hold it back even as he watched her expression of pain mingle with confusion. She loved him! Tenderly he reached up to wipe away her newest tear. Red met brown once more as his eyes bore into hers. His smile turned to soft happiness as he finally let himself fall.

“I am pretty damn sure I have loved you for months too…”

His voice was reverent. A solemn declaration. Tav’s hushed gasp rang throughout the darkened woods. Her bottom lip started to quiver. A clear tear made a path down her right cheek. With more tenderness than he had ever given anyone before, gentle fingers traced the tear stain until he was swiping it across that peach tremor. As he reached the corner of her mouth his hand turned to drag knuckles along her left cheekbone before his fingers dipped into her hair, tangling in the impossibly soft strands. He urged her face closer, delicately placing his forehead against hers when she gave in to his pull.

“My dear, sweet Tav. Your heart won’t shatter because I love you too. I love you, darling. I love what we have. The jokes that we share. The way that we flirt. I love the way you make me feel. Like I’m worthy. Like I’ve never done anything wrong. I love the light you bring to my life. How your presence is a sunbeam across my skin. And sweetheart, I want nothing more than to love you. Every day. For as long as time allows. So please, spend the night with me. Because for once, in all of my existence, I want this. I want you. I want it all. You give yourself to me tonight, Tav, and I promise… I will never be able to stop loving you either.”

By instinct her face slotted against his. His lips were so close to touching hers that she could feel his cool breath mingling with her warm puffs of air. Nothing else existed in this moment other than them. The sound of wind rustling leaves faded away. Nocturnal critters stopped foraging as they waited. The moon brightened until it was showering the two with its radiance, creating a spotlight on them and them alone. Her single whispered word launched the beginnings of a romance more powerful than the Gods.

***They closed the distance together. Simultaneously sweeping each other up in the most intimate kiss either of them had ever experienced. A step backwards had her body pulling away from the tree and with arms that had snaked their way back to her butt, he hoisted her higher so that she could hover above him. Tav moved in time with his actions, tilting her head so that their kiss would not break. She could feel herself giving in. Surrendering the last bit of resistance that lingered inside her chest to the intensity of his feelings for her. Her feelings for him. Sand colored hands lifted to his head, getting lost in his curls as her legs wrapped more tightly around his body. With a spin they were moving. The firewood and axe left behind as both of them forgot all reason as to why she had come to the forest to begin with. Knees bent as he dipped her, his gentleness from before completely gone as rough longing took its place. Her head bounced as it hit the dirt and their lips disconnected. But Astarion didn’t seem to mind as he smoothly transitioned to using the moment to push the grey vest from her shoulders and pull her tanktop over her head. He buried his face into her cleavage as new skin became exposed.

His lips ran the length of her collarbone down into the divot of her breasts then back up again. Expert hands snuck between their bodies deftly undoing the laces of her bra. The pieces fell apart exposing her chest in its entirety. He didn’t even take the chance to admire her, mouth immediately attaching to a hardened nipple. He gave it a couple of sucks before his teeth were biting at that sweet spot on her neck. Then his lips were back on her other breast sucking for longer this time before he was once again shoving his tongue into her opened mouth. As their kisses increased in heat he felt her hands tugging at the waistband of his pants urging him to press himself into her. With a chuckle he complied, once again blessing her with feeling the outline of his arousal. Her frantic attempts to grind against him had him pulling away with an actual laugh.

“Patience, pet. You don’t want this to be over too soon now do you?”

Her hips still searched for his as she swore.

“Dammit Astarion!”

He laughed again sitting upright to straddle her. Lithe fingers traced across her skin in lazy strokes, equal parts admiring and worshiping.

“I get that you’re enjoying yourself love, but good things come to those who wait.”

He circled a perky nipple before returning to his caresses. Red eyes mapped the expanse of her body that he could see. Sumptuous teardrop breasts. A slender waist. The definition of lean musculature. The beginnings of a leafy tribal tattoo disappearing along her right hip. And so many scars. She was gorgeous. The perfect picture of fierce femininity. A mighty heroine. Reluctantly he met her gaze as she challenged him.

“And how long do you plan to make me wait?”

A humorous exhale.

“Depends. How long can you resist me?”

A hook of her knees behind his thighs pulled him into her and she rolled up into him.

“Not long.”

With an amused but happy shake of his head he reconnected their lips. She felt like she could get lost in his feverish kisses. In the way his hands ran along her sides. He was incredible. Everything she had dared to let herself dream of. An Elven prince straight from a fairytale. A rakish rogue sworn only to her. Her mind drifted as they kissed. To pictures of the future. Memories of the past. It all seemed so unbelievable. And yet it was real. He loved her. Wanted to love her. She would sell her soul twice over to make sure he never stopped loving her. Her hands found their way under his shirt and she sighed at finally getting to touch the body she so admired. He broke their kiss for only a second as he pulled at his shirt from the back, tossing it away with careless disinterest. He suckled at her neck and she sighed again.

“I love you. And I’m sorry.”

His face retracted from her neck. Her eyes were still closed, a blissful smile still on her lips. He rested his head against hers, nuzzling her nose.

“I know.”

Her eyes scrunched as if in pain.

“I didn’t mean what I said. I was scared and hurt. I so desperately wanted that kiss to mean something that I let my emotions get out of control. I’m sorry.”

Bowed lips kissed hers.

“Tav, I know. Your explanation to Fenrir spoke volumes.”

Small hands pushed him off of her with a huff.

“You were eavesdropping!?”

He laid down on her again kissing her chin in an attempt to soothe her annoyance.

“Let’s not think about that right now darling.”

Her mouth curled into a mock snarl but her giggle as he continued to assuagingly kiss her gave her lie away.

“Prick.”

His chuckle reverberated along the skin of her throat.

“Oh don’t worry, dear. You’ll be feeling mine soon enough.”

A slap to his ass had him grinning.

“That’s not what I meant!”

A kiss behind her ear.

“Maybe not. But you’ve been thinking about it.”

More lighthearted giggles escaped her.

“You’re a bastard.”

“Only for you, my love.”

It took them no time to shed each other of the rest of their clothes. With a single hand he tugged off her trousers and underwear in one go while she worked at freeing him from his. Once bare he tackled her back to the forest floor grinding against her with reckless abandon. Her moans were music to his ears and with a final yes from her he sunk himself into her folds. Their bodies both shivered at the long awaited connection, his mouth capturing hers in a heated kiss before he was grunting into her neck.

“Fuck. You feel better than I ever imagined you would.”

Her needy whine had him twitching.

“The feeling’s mutual Star.”

The nickname had him groaning and he busied himself with kissing her all over her neck and shoulder as he waited for her body to adjust to him. When he felt her walls clenching in a plea for more he gave a few shallow thrusts to test her comfort level. When he received no protests, only moans, his hips pulled back to start up a rhythm of slamming into her. His pace was fast from the get go. His mind and body too worked up to bother with taking things slow. She didn’t seem to mind though as she met his enthusiasm with her own, moving in time with his every push and pull. Manicured nails dug crescents into the flesh of his back, holding onto him as he rocked into her with bruising speed. For a second he lost himself. Mind going back to all the times he had done this against his will. But her hands on his cheeks grounded him as she kissed him with a kindness his marks never had. This was Tav. His Tav. Not some poor soul he was meant to collect for Cazador. Not some guest he was meant to entertain. This was the love of his life beneath him. A woman so transcendent that he was helpless to the ways he had fallen for her. He returned her kiss, giving in to the pleasure he had denied himself for so long.

She could feel every ridge of him dragging against her walls. The pleasure was blinding and she hoped with all her heart that he was enjoying this just as much as her. When his eyes took on a far away glaze she cupped his face doing her best to bring him back. He had shared that he had spent his life seducing people for his master, but the details of how always remained vague. She had assumed sex had been a part of his ploys, another tool in which he was forced to use, but how he felt when performing it remained a mystery. She hoped he still enjoyed it. That the act hadn’t become something tainted. A kiss to his lips brought him back and he looked at her then. Fully looked at her. She tried to decipher the swirl of emotions within his eyes but then he kissed her back and her mind went blank.

The preoccupation of thoughts about her kept that familiar feeling of disgust at bay. She was warm against his cold skin, almost uncomfortably so where their bodies connected. The scent of her sweat, flesh, and arousal wafted through him further vanishing his history of sexual abuse. When he leaned down to take a breast back into his mouth he could taste as well as smell where traces of his cologne had transferred onto her body. The disgust was gone in an instant, his mind focused on one thing and one thing only. Making her smell more like him. He pulled off of her with a pop opting to rub his chest against hers like a cat rubbing against its owners legs. She cried his name at the combo of friction provided to her nipples and her most sensitive parts. It was the sweetest sound he had ever heard; his new goal detracting from his mission to pass along his scent to focus instead on making her sing for him. His thrusts turned harder and he let his weight press into her but she did not say his name again. He changed tactics, almost fully pulling out then stilling. She whined but did not cry his name.

“Fuck! Why’d you stop?”

“Just checking in. Still enjoying yourself darling?”

“Well I was~”

Her snark had him laughing.

“Such a shame that I stopped then.”

A raised eyebrow gave way that she’d indulge in his game.

“What do you want?”

He shot her a mischievous smirk.

“To hear you beg for it.”

She smirked in return. It wasn’t lost on her the way he had reacted when she’d howled for him. The way his thrusts had turned sloppy at the single utterance of Astarion. He clearly wanted to hear it again. But he had to ask for it. Beg her in return. Sickly sweet she tried beating him in this little competition of his making.

“Please?”

“Please what?”

“Please keep fucking me?”

He growled in frustration.

“You know, love, if there’s something you want you can just ask for it.”

His eyes narrowed as he realized she was toying with him.

“I think you know exactly what I want.”

Suddenly he rolled his hips into her, pushing deep, before he pulled back out again.

“Astarion! Fuck!”

She could feel the pride in his smirk.

“Now was that so hard?”

Tav scowled.

“Dammit Ass-tarion!”

He laughed at the manipulation of his name then reconnected their bodies with force.

“Once more darling. Let me hear your pretty voice.”

She sang for him exactly how he was hoping she would and his eyes darkened. With one last teasing thrust he returned to their previous pace of lovemaking. A hand flew to her bouncing chest groping and squeezing, while the other kept him propped above her. The more she sung his name the more tightly the coil in his abdomen wound. This was heaven. Gone were any memories of his past. Tonight it was just him and Tav. Unable to stay away he returned to kissing her, their tongues dancing all over again. Sometimes he led. Others, she wrestled away his control. Their bodies reached an equilibrium as their movements harmonized into one. As he was nearing his tipping point, he violently suppressed the high pitched needy moan that begged to be let out. Those kinds of noises weren’t manly and from the hundreds of women he had seduced he had quickly learned that genuine sounds of pleasure were a turn off. So instead of giving in to the noises he would have originally made he let out one of his practiced grunts. Tav broke their kiss immediately and his movements stalled in confusion.

“I want to hear your real voice Astarion.”

The startled but please squeak that escaped him was anything but masculine but his wounded pride was quickly soothed by the soft giggle against his ear. Playful lips teased the sensitive flesh succeeding in pulling out a real groan. His whole body shivered as she whispered heartfelt praises along the cartilage.

“That’s it baby. Just like that. Let me know that I’m making you feel good.”

A needy whine rose in his throat as she took over in taking him inside of her again and again.

“Ahhh! Fucking Hells Tav!”

“Yes sweetheart. Say my name. Chant it. I like hearing mine just as much as you like hearing yours.”

“Ahhgrr! Fuck TAV!”

He shoved her back to the ground so he could take over in reestablishing their brutal pace. As he thrusted he dipped his hand down to where their bodies met, flicking at the bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs to try and get her to the point he was approaching. When his thumb pressed into it, her back arched off the dirt shoving her breasts flush against his chest and he grunted her name again as she wailed his. To his surprise he found himself smiling as she writhed from the pleasure he was providing her. He angled his hips to reach deeper. This was actually enjoyable. He didn’t think there would ever come a time where he’d find sex fun. That he could let go of the performance and feel good. With fascination he watched as her body reacted to his touch. Countless times he’d been told that he was good in bed but to see Tav keening at his every push and pull was more rewarding than any of those hollow words of praise. He wanted her to enjoy him. Enjoy his body and his skill. He craved her approval like an addict craved his next fix. Her voice was his drug. Her body intoxicating in all of the best kinds of ways. He wanted more. Wanted everything she could give him. He needed it as much as a living being needed air.

His thrusting turned harder, faster. His fingers kept busy playing with her nub. She squealed and squirmed and he felt like laughing from the sheer joy she was bringing him. He wondered then if this is what it felt like to be with someone you loved. No pretty words or betrayals of trust. No scheming in an attempt to survive. Just a genuine desire to indulge in each other. A way to love and be loved. He placed a soft kiss on the tip of her nose. She wiggled to try and connect their mouths. His head dipped burying his face into the crook of her neck as he listened with veneration to the beating of her gifted heart.

“I love you Tav.”

His words were repeated back to him and his movements sped up to a final mind numbing speed. The press of his fingers increased and slowly he lowered the entire expanse of himself onto her. The hand that had been holding him up reached to hike her left leg up to his shoulder before going to cradle her head. Her heel pressed into his upper back while her other remained firmly wrapped around his hip. The new position allowed him to hit that spot inside of her that brought stars to her vision. She screamed his name over and over, chanting it like he was her God. He would do everything he could to make sure he would be. Her hands in his hair felt divine and as she moaned his name once more he brought her into a searing kiss. Tugging on his lips, she revealed his fangs as he panted, the fight to maintain control growing ever harder. Another pull to his hair jerked his head back providing access to his throat. A strangled moan left him as she began sucking a mark on his pale skin claiming him as hers.

“Tav… Tav! Fuck darling! Ahhh!”

He trembled and his thrusts stuttered when a sneaky hand moved to toy with his ears. He tried to keep going but his actions were getting sloppy. His member nearly slipping out from the sheer amount of lubrication their bodies had produced. He knew he wasn’t going to last. In a hope to bring her tumbling over the edge with him he begged her to let him have a bite.

“Let me…! Ughhhh! Let me taste you, my heart! Please! I want to savor the flavor of your undoing!”

The release of his hair was instantaneous, her hands moving to wrap around the back of his neck instead. She pulled him into her, tilting glistening neck to the side to give him access. Her heart thrummed to the beat of passion and he could not resist sinking his teeth into her as she gave him her final consent.

“Bite me Star.”

As fangs pierced her flesh she exploded. Her orgasm washed through her in waves. It was extraordinary and intense! The feeling of his hot release brought her to an all time high. Stars danced as she sang a song of love and she knew that she was forever his.

[whatthehali]

extremely rambley notes from my rewatch of the three knicks/pacers games this season

i know that the knicks/pacers series this season is 1-2 in their favor but i'm honestly not putting a huge amount of stock in it.

All three games are honestly ones I would put an asterisk on in terms of their representativeness

The first game 98 - 123 (L) was the knicks home opener and game 2 for the pacers, who started this season 9-14, Hali was clearly wayyyyy off, that olympics injury is lingering and in this game went 0/8 FG (0/7 from 3) He doesn't drive at all, its maybe his worst single game all season. Since Jan 1 they're 34-14 (60win pace) Obviously the game still happened but it feels pretty unlikely that the october version of the team shows up in this series

The second game 132 - 121 (W) is during the period where Nembhard and Nesmith were both out, and Obi was out for that one too but Benn and Hali both went off for more than 30, which is like, possible but not likely. It definitely has a blueprint for how to try and beat them, but I just don't think our defensive scheme is going to look anything like that when doing our best to put Brunson in Nembhell is going to be so key.

The third game 115 - 128 (L) feels like the biggest asterisk to me, Myles is out and KAT goes off for 40 and Hart 30, almost all on drives because Pascal was doing a /lot/ of primary rim protection, which was obviously a disaster and even then it was still close towards the beginning of the fourth.

Last seasons ECSF match feels even less representative, both because this year's Knicks are so different, and KAT is such a threat. and they were pretty hurt but also because as I have said a million times, this year's team might have the same members but the defense is sooooooo different. The DEFRTG is around 10pts better, which considering our two losses were both blowouts is actually ridiculous.

IDK its obviously a competitive series and Indiana is going to be the underdogs again, but I think it essentially comes down to if the Knicks can slow Indiana down to their pace, and if they can't whether their starters insane conditioning can keep up. On the other hand they definitely have a rebounding advantage, but if we can keep the boards kinda close then I like our chances, but if they get a board differential of like 10+ then I feel wayyyyyyyyy worse.

Overall I feel better about this series than I did about the last one, and I feel like the pacers beat the cavs much more convincingly than the knicks beat the celtics. TOUCH WOOD

[dorkydegeneracy]

Saw Thunderbolts* on May Day.

Thunderbolts* is the first time in a long time that I am left wanting to go see an MCU project again shortly after watching the movie.

Few thoughts:

I love Bob! I did not know I would love Bob. But I am enamored by both Lewis Pullman and his portrayal of Bob. Honestly, I was excited for the movie for Bucky Barnes alone, and yet they managed to make all of the members of the Thunderbolts likeable despite me not being interested in any of them in their respective movies (except for Buck ofc). As much as I love Florence Pugh, this was the movie that I was sold on her character as the new Black Widow.

This movie grounds the MCU once again. The MCU is at its best imo when we get a very grounded and human story (with the exception of the Infinity War. That shit was historic and epic AF!). Thunderbolts* tells a very risky yet human story about depression. And it works. And yes, while I admit that the heroes beating The Void by giving Bob a big ol' hug was cheesy, the chemistry that these characters have, thanks to the performances of the actors, sells this movie. They are all fucked up outsiders. Yes, I want to see Ghost's and Bucky's shame rooms.

It set up so much more interesting and relevant plot moving forward, due in large part to an almost perfect post credit scene. The questions I have after that scene still have me thinking and I will be thinking for AWHILE.

For example, everybody knew that the asterisk indicated that the Thunderbolts name would be dropped. Honestly when they did the reveal it was almost underwhelming because everybody saw it coming. But I am still left asking why the Thunderbolts aren't the Dark Avengers? Like, they even have the costumes! The movie is about depression. I'm sure somebody will explain it. Or they will be renamed again in a later project.

Anywho, I loved this movie and I think it will rejuvenate the MCU!

[optimistredsox]

27 March 2025, BOS @ TEX, 5-2, win, Opening Day

Thanks goodness for baseball. The relentless torrent of ratfucking dipshittery from the shambolic, criminal, vicious government is sort of a lot to handle at the moment. I'd much rather be crossing my fingers that Wilyer Abreu can come up big in a tight game than crossing my fingers that somehow the judicial branch holds fast against the rapid dismantling of democracy.

Of course, I will be crossing my fingers for both.

It was an interesting off-season. Some big signings. Some big drama (is Raffy's ego going to survive the move to DH?). Some big trades. Some unanswered questions (I am still uncomfortable with Jarren Duran's lacklustre apology for hurling homophobic slurs and I have deep concerns about Aroldis Chapman and his history of domestic abuse... please consider every mention of the latter during the course of the season to have a massive asterisk next to it).

So yeah. There's a lot going on. And yet I was still super excited for the game yesterday. I was a bit worried about the Sox somehow contracting measles, but even those misgivings couldn't eclipse my giddiness at the return of baseball. And we won. Not only did we win, we won in dramatic fashion! So let's look at the bright sides.

Wilyer Abreu had a day. He hit two dingers, one for each of his newborn twins (a fact that could not be ignored in the NESN coverage - it was mentioned at least a thousand times), the second looked like a line drive that just didn't stop, slipping into the Rangers' bullpen, bringing joy to Red Sox Nation and the win to the team.

The bullpen locked shit down from the sixth. Gosh it's good to have a healthy Garrett Whitlock back on the mound. The member of the bullpen I mentioned earlier had a strong eighth, getting the win, and Justin Slaten got the save with a 1, 2, 3 ninth.

Garrett Crochet (is it normal to have two Garretts on a pitching staff?) had a bit of a rough start by his high standards. The Rangers worked his pitch count up early, but he settled down and DEFINITELY DID NOT WANT TO COME OUT OF THE GAME AFTER THE FIFTH. But I'm glad he did.

Kristian Campbell, ridiculously young rookie second baseman, got his first major league hit in the ninth, and scored his first major league run when Wilyer Abreu went yard for the second time. His hit was a grounder with a wild bounce and was obviously hit HARD. It wasn't pretty but it still counts.

It was nice to see a couple of former Red Sox pitchers do well whilst still managing to beat them. I have nothing but love for Nate Eovaldi and Chris Martin (I shall miss making Coldplay jokes every time he emerges from the bullpen) and they both looked pretty sharp up there yesterday. I'm glad they lost but I'm also glad they dealt.

We won! We're in a three-way tie for first place with the Skanks and the O's.

Baseball is back!

[daz4i]

ik a common pet peeve ppl have with media is that trope of a villain having a really good point about society then immediately killing a baby to achieve it or smth and how it's used by people in power to demonize these criticisms of them. but i do think in bsd when antagonists make a good point it still stands and it's still a good point regardless of what they do about it, and the narrative does not want you to perceive them entirely negatively. like, there's a reason atsushi spends a few chapters in a conflict bc he agrees with fukuchi's ideas, just thinks his methods are harmful. the story lingers on it bc it wants you to stop and think and see the good in them, i think, and not to be mean and turn it around like a "gotcha! you are just as bad for agreeing!" or smth.

i think it all stems from how every character in bsd is morally grey in order to humanize them. every antagonist is presented in a positive light at some point (only exception i can think of is fyodor, who so far hasn't been presented in a really grey way either), their motives or ideals are laid out so you can understand WHY they're doing the things they're doing, and eventually they end up working with the protagonists because well. they're all humans at the end of the day.

the thing driving all protagonists in bsd is simply to keep living (each have their own asterisk next to that, but i won't get into details) and usually keep others safe. they beat the forces that stand in their way of achieving this, but for a moment, these forces' own goals get reflected back onto them, and they become a vehicle for them as well, at times.

it's less of a "villain makes a good point then kills a baby to make you disagree with them", more like "villain makes a good point but the story lingers on it so both you and the in-universe characters think about it and consider it. they also kill a baby but that's more like a personal character flaw that might get ironed out of them with the power of friendship"

that's also why wildly loved characters that are generally considered positive start out trying to kill the protags (akutagawa, chuuya, lucy, poe, sigma, the hunting dogs etc). you know WHY they do this. you know what led them here. you also saw other sides to them - silly moments, helping their comrades or innocent bystanders, positive interactions with the main cast - which help make them feel more human, thus making them easier to understand for us as readers.

idk man i think it's p cool

EDIT: i will also add!!!! that imo fyodor seeming purely evil despite bsd's attempt at humanizing its characters!!!! is less of a fault in writing but rather showing how he dehumanizes HIMSELF. he views himself as more than human. characters like sigma view him as more than human. and so, for now, the narrative will treat him as such too - not bc he's right. but bc it serves his current story, and hopefully a future arc will have him unlearning that, or more layers will be peeled from him so at least we as an audience can see his humanity (i have a feeling the information sigma got from him + the injury dazai gave him + him being bested in general + whatever the fuck "that man" comment was, will all play a part in that)

[roughandtumble-r]

RoughandTumble-r talks about the Sonic IDW 2024 Annual!

The 2024 Annual came out a few days ago, so it's time for me to talk about its stories! This one only has three stories, so let's start with the first one...

(Also, spoilers ahead)

Hero's Calling:

Surge and Kit are trying to stop a runaway trolley filled with people in Westopolis, and while they do eventually succeed in stopping it, they cause so much damage and injuries that one of the people they save is mad at and yells at them. It gives Surge a lot to think about, and when Kit returns to their room at the Restoration later and finds her still thinking about it, Surge tells Kit that she now believes that Starline was right about the cycle of Sonic beating Eggman and how Sonic just lets it continue, and she also calls the civilians that he and them save not bad but weak for also just letting Sonic save them and not saving themselves. She then uses this line of reasoning as fuel for her and Kit to continue their plan to eventually overthrow Sonic and Tails as well as beat Eggman, and Kit decides to go along with it and also gives him the idea to cause some mischief in order for Surge to not run out of people to save. I think this story's alright and gives some insight on Surge and Kit's thought process as they try to continue living with their built-in hatred of Sonic and Tails, although it feels more like a teaser of stories to come rather than a story of its own and also supposedly leads into Issue 75 (...although one of the asterisks referring to a past event refers to something in Issue 75 that apparently already happened? I don't really know what's going on there, it could be a typo)

For my Destiny:

Knuckles is hanging out on Angel Island and wondering what Sonic and the others are up to when the Master Emerald begins showing him visions of his past adventures with them, and he realizes how thankful he is for both his friends and for his duty to protect the Master Emerald before Sonic, Tails, and Amy suddenly show up to see how he's doing. I also think this story's alright despite not much happening in it, and it shows how Knuckles is doing while everyone else is busy with the plots of the main story and is also apparently a teaser for Issue 80.

Shattered Diamonds:

Tangle, Whisper, and Lanolin are all waiting for Sonic to arrive at their campsite in the woods, and while they do, Mimic is watching them from afar and internally tells the story of how he became one of the Diamond Cutters and why he betrayed them. He was originally an actor who wanted to use his shapeshifting skills to upstage other actors, but he would always be casted to the sidelines until the war began and ended his career. He noticed during the war however that there were various groups standing together to fight against Eggman's forces, some of which he ended up joining before abandoning them to save himself. Whisper ends up catching a glimpse of his shapeshifting powers when the two randomly meet one day, and she requests that he join the Diamond Cutters, who accept them into their group with open arms. Everything seems to be going well for him for a while and it seems like he may have finally found his place, but when Smithy reveals that he made masks to help with their work and unify the team to each other, Mimic feels a deep pain that he never felt before due to him actually growing close with them and his prior ditching of his other teams, and not wanting it to hurt even more when he inevitably has to do the same with them, he seeks out a way to break away from them as soon as possible, which he finds in a partnership with Eggman. Back in the present, Mimic pulls out his knife and is intent on finally eliminating the last remaining remnant of that past connection he had with the Diamond Cutters, being Whisper, but he's cut off at the last second by Sonic's arrival, and he, Tangle, Whisper, and Lanolin all prepare for their attack on Eggperial City (revealing that this story takes place right before the events of Issue 57) without ever knowing that Mimic was there watching them. I think this story was easily the best of the three, and it does a great job explaining why Mimic did what he did and also shows us what Whisper was like prior to Mimic's betrayal.

And that's it for the 2024 Annual! I would have liked to have seen more than three stories in it, but the three stories it had were overall still pretty good and I especially liked Shattered Diamonds, so I'd recommend checking it out if you're a fan of the series.