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#because I feel like I would feel obligated to keep it if I said anything
firewasabeast · 7 hours
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prompt: silly or angry sex? idk!
how about silly and angry sex? also, I don't write smut often so please forgive me.
“I really, shit, really don't wanna fight with you while your, oh yeah, fingers are in my ass.”
“Finger,” Tommy corrected, slowly and deliberately massaging over Buck's prostate. “Just the one right now.”
“God, your so annoying,” Buck huffed, his back arching slightly as Tommy's other hand rested over his stomach.
“Would you like me to stop?” Tommy asked. The way he was keeping his voice so calm and casual made Buck want to ring his neck a little bit.
“Stop being annoying?” he replied. “Yes.”
“Stop fucking you,” Tommy clarified, pouring a bit more lube on his fingers and adding a second along with the first, “so you can fight with me?”
Buck sucked in a breath, then let out a long moan. “Oh fuck no, don't stop.”
“Mm,” Tommy hummed. He ran his hand up Buck's chest, dragging it back down slowly. His fingernails scraping over Buck's nipple on the way. “So fighting while fucking it is.”
“Fuck. S'not fair,” he said with a glare, fucking himself on Tommy's fingers. One of his hands flailed out until it found Tommy's thigh, gripping it for dear life. “Kiss me.”
Tommy shook his head. “Tell me why you're angry first, Evan.”
“Mmm,” Buck's head lolled to the side, his eyes drifting shut in pleasure. “Don't remember.”
Tommy twisted his fingers, driving in with a particularly hard thrust.
Buck's eyes shot back open and up at Tommy, his hand squeezing tighter on his thigh. Tommy would have bruises in the morning, which sent chills up his spine.
“Yes you do,” Tommy said, staring back at Buck. “Now why are you mad?”
“Be- Because, oh right there, because you forgot to take the meat out of the freezer again.”
“And?”
“And I reminded you, uh, uh, uh, you like five times while I was at work.” He smacked at Tommy's thigh. “Add another finger, Tommy, please.”
Tommy obliged. He removed his fingers and added more lube, warming it up before pressing three against Buck's hole. “Deep breath in and-”
“Let it out slow, yeah yeah, I know. Not my first rodeo.” He rolled his eyes but drew in a deep breath, slowly releasing it as Tommy worked three fingers into him. “You feel so fucking good,” he said, sounding more annoyed about that fact than anything. He couldn't handle it anymore. He reached up and pulled Tommy down over him in a messy, angry kiss. He bit down on Tommy's bottom lip, causing him to hiss ever so slightly. He took that opportunity to practically stick his tongue down Tommy's throat, tasting his fresh mint mouthwash that he always gargled after dinner.
A dinner which was take out tonight.
Because he forgot to take the meat out of the freezer.
For like the fourth time in a month.
Tommy's fingers were moving inside him earnestly now, Buck meeting every thrust. “I know you, mhm, apologized but I really, uh, don't understand, yes, yeah, how you could f- forget like that, faster, Tommy, fuck me.”
“You feel so good around my fingers, Evan, God.” Tommy moaned into Buck's mouth as Buck reached down and took both of their cocks in his hand.
Their bodies were at awkward angles, with Tommy not able to move as deeply into Buck with each thrust. But, judging by the sounds coming out of his mouth, Tommy was still hitting all the right spots.
“Fuck, I'm close, Evan.”
“Me too, Tommy. S- so close. Just, oh shit yeah!” Buck came with a shout, Tommy following closely behind him.
They laid there for a few seconds in silence, their sweaty bodies pressed together as they caught their breath.
Eventually, Tommy pulled his fingers out of Buck and plopped down beside him in the bed.
“Shit, I love angry sex,” Buck admitted, rolling over to press himself against Tommy's side.
Tommy laughed, his arm wrapping around Buck's back as he pressed a kiss to his temple. “Why do you think I keep forgetting to take the meat out of the freezer?”
“I knew you did it on purpose!” he exclaimed, leaning up just enough to look at Tommy.
“Well, after the aggressive blowjob you gave me the last time it happened, I had to test my theory. I do, however, promise not to use this knowledge against you in the future. No matter how tempting.”
Buck's eyes darkened as he pulled Tommy in for a kiss. “You're incredible,” he said. “You can use it against me anytime.”
Tommy raised an eyebrow at that and Buck continued. “Well, not any time. Like, if people are coming over for dinner, or if I have a special meal planned. Actually, I could make a detailed list of exact times where it would be appropriate to-”
“Evan?”
“Yeah?”
“You know there are other things I could do besides not take food out of the freezer, right?”
“Like... Like what?” Buck asked, shivering a little as Tommy's hand ran up and down his spine.
“I could occasionally leave my laundry on the bathroom floor.”
“E- Even your gym clothes?”
“If you wanted.”
Buck could feel his heartbeat speeding up. He'd be a little concerned about what this literal dirty talk was doing to him if he didn't currently find it so damn hot. “What else?” he asked.
“I could not take out the trash on trash day. It'd have to sit there another whole week before it got picked up.”
Buck pressed a kiss against Tommy's jaw, then started working his way down, ghosting his lips over Tommy's pec. “I would be livid,” he said before giving the skin there a little bite.
“I know. I could forget to pay a bill. Make you deal with a late fee.”
Buck was on top of Tommy in a second, his thighs straddling Tommy's hips. He was mad at the mere thought of that happening. But so fucking turned on he was already hard again. It wasn't just the idea of more angry sex that made him horny, it was the fact that Tommy was so competent with his forced incompetence that Buck needed him inside of him immediately. It was all very confusing, and Buck made a mental note to dwell on it later.
But for now. “Tommy?”
“Yes, Dear?” Tommy asked with a grin, his hands coming to rest on Buck's waist.
“I'm gonna need you to fuck me.”
Tommy gripped Buck tight, flipping them over quickly so he was back on top. He pressed a chaste kiss to Buck's lips before reaching for the lube. “Yes, Dear.”
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d1g1tal-d1ary · 3 days
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Part 2 of my addicted!Simon headcanon!!
Price always had a lot going on; being the Captain of a Task Force demanded a lot of time, energy and most of all - nerves.
So when one of the nurses on base had pulled him aside and said that she suspected someone stealing Morphine, all he did was nod and call in a meeting. Luckily, everyone had obliged to giving him a urine sample to let it be tested for drugs.
What no one seemed to notice was Simon's eyes staring into nothingness as all he did was pray that his heavy heart wouldn't give his covers away. His head was spinning because he searched for a way out of this - there had to be a way he didn't have to take it. And suddenly his mind started to wander off to you; the only one who'd met him without knowing he was Ghost. The only one who knew he had a problem - a fucking big one right now - and the only one who understood him was you.
One hand tightly gripping the little cup, the other one knocking loudly on your door. He didn't hesitate when the door opened; he simply pushed it open and walked into your tiny apartment.
"Simon?" you asked with a frown plastered on your face. You hadn't expected him - of course you hadn't so all you were wearing was one of your cute pyjamas you avoided to wear around him normally. "Is everything okay?"
"I messed up," was all that came across his lips with a heavy sigh. When his gaze met yours, all he could do was put the cup on your kitchen table and point at it. "I need your help."
You stepped closer and eyed the little cup and when you realized what exactly he'd asked you to do, you shook your head. "No, I'm not helping you fake a drugtest."
"Please, luvie," his eyes studied your face - he reduced the distance between you two quickly and took your face into his rough and calloused hands. "I'll never ask anythin' of you ever again. Just let me keep my job, fuck- it's the only thing that's been keeping me sane all this time."
Of course your heart sank when you heard his pleading and even more so when you looked up at him and you could see the desperation in his blue eyes. After moments had passed - which felt like years for Simon - you'd finally nodded and given in to him.
"I knew you'd understand," he whispered and pecked your lips before letting you go take the drugtest.
You'd never felt so dirty in your life. Pissing into a little cup while Simon waited impatiently outside the bathroom made you feel greedy and so, so worthless. But if you were being honest; there was nothing you wouldn't do for Simon. Of course you weren't supporting his addiction - that was the main reason you had broken up, after all. But he was your Simon. The closest you'll ever get to finding unconditional love.
A few days after Simon had given the sample to Price - he'd been the last to hand it over - the test results finally came. And Price would never doubt his team; they'd done everything together for years at this point, but he could also imagine one of his soldiers having an addiction as it was nothing new.
To his surprise and relief, all the test results came back negative. But looking at Simon's results made him frown - or more so, all he could do was huff at the result.
"You wanted to speak to me?" Simon had stepped into Price's office; not even thinking that it could have anything to do with the drugtest as he knew you hadn't taken any.
Price's eyes never left Simon's form. He watched him intensly as he took the seat across from Price's desk. "Yeah, well, the results came back and since you're L.T., I thought you'd deserve to know before everyone else."
Simon hummed in response while leaning back, silently thanking you again.
"Luckily, everyone's negative," Price announced which made Simon even more relaxed. "But.. The Lab was a bit confused and thought something went wrong as Simon Riley's clearly a male name."
"Captain, I don't think I can follow you," Simon had frowned under his balaclava.
Price barked a bitter laugh as he looked at the Lieutnant in front of him. "They found the hormone Beta-hCG in your piss. You wanna know what that means?"
All Simon could do was nod; unaware of what's to come.
"The fuckin' piss is from someone who's pregnant," Price lowly said. "So now we not only know this wasn't your piss, but I think you two would've been smart enough to know we‘d find out. So, Riley, should I say congratultions?"
Y‘all wanna read part 3???!!! 🙏😭
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revolu · 3 days
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I'm dropping (a bit old) john laurens yap here. Please correct anything you must + provide the source.
and we know very limited about John but whatever !!
Laurens was described by Hamilton to have honey blonde hair when clean. His hair was generally said to be light brown/blonde. As seen on portraits, he had soft features, blue eyes, and a big nose. He was described to be very handsome, and IMO I agree!! We don't know exactly how tall he was, but he was most likely over 6 feet. One day before Laurens' 15th birthday, his father wrote to James Grant; ''my Little Jack, now as big as I am...'' (Jack being John's nickname). We don't know Henry Laurens' height, but if he was as tall as Henry at 15, he certainly grew to be taller. In 1778, Henry wrote to John ''A Taylor has cut off as much of your Scarlet as will make he says a Wascoat for 6 feet 3 inches...'' which suggests that John could have been 6'3. It's not clear what exactly Henry means in the letter but as said, John was probably over 6 feet. Laurens was one of the strongest abolitionists of the time despite coming from one of the bigger slave plantations and growing up where slavery was normal. John could speak English, French, Italian, Greek, Spanish and Latin. We know that he was fluent in English and French but we don't know about his fluency in the other languages.
Laurens got Martha Manning pregnant and ended up marrying her out of pity (supposedly to protect her reputation too and to keep illegitimacy of their child.) He wrote to his uncle ''...Pity has obliged me to marry...'', When Laurens left for war, he left his pregnant wife in another country. When John was chosen by congress to be a special minister to France and had him travel there, Martha traveled with their daughter to reconnect with him upon hearing about his arrival in France. But John supposedly made no effort whatsoever to visit them; he completed his mission and went back to America. Martha later died during the trip and their daughter, Frances, was sent to live with her aunt.
John Laurens is believed to have been gay... The man didn't seem to express any attraction towards women, though I think his sexist beliefs played a role in this, as well as his lack of effort to humble his wife. His letters to Alexander Hamilton, and Francis Kinloch also suggest he had an eye for men... ESPECIALLY Kinloch's and his correspondence.
Henry Laurens wrote ''Master Jack is too closely wedded to his studies to think about any of the Miss Nanny's''. But it's important to note that he was a teenager at that time and not every teen develops those feelings at the same time. But I would imagine that since he was as tall as his father at 15, he was early in puberty... Romantic/sexual feelings usually come with puberty, but what do we know? Anyways. John expressed a lot of sexist opinions, even towards his own sisters, which can be read in letters. Most men were sexist, but John seemed to be more ''strict'' on the subject... This definitely plays a part in his supposed ''homosexuality''.
John hid the fact that he had a wife and child from Hamilton for nearly two years. Why? The reason is unknown. It's only up to debate. My guess is that he just wanted to try to ''forget'' them in some way, seeing as he literally left them... Why would you bring up that you have a family that you abandoned? But maybe it was because he never found the right time to tell him, or was it to get a better chance with Hamilton? We will never know, sadly. But what we DO know, is that Laurens referred to his wife as ''dear girl'', and Hamilton, and supposedly ONLY Hamilton, as ''Dear boy''. We know for a fact that Hamilton was close to Laurens and was special to him, but why did he call his wife that? Out of pity? He didn't necessarily show any real attraction towards her... But whatever the reason is, it's kinda cute.
We know that Henry Laurens was emotionally manipulative of John, which is like read in letters... So there is no denying that, really. BUT John was close to his father, attachment issues tsk, tsk tsk... But jokes aside, when John told his father that he wasn't super interested in becoming a lawyer or merchant like his father wanted, Henry wrote this to his brother; ''if he enters upon the plan of Life which he Seemed to pant for when he wrote the 5th. July, I Shall give him up for lost & he will very Soon reproach himSelf for his want of Duty & affection towards me, for abandoning his Brothers & Sisters, for disregarding the Council of his Uncle, & for his deficiency of common understanding, in making Such a choice_ if these reflections prevail not over him, nothing will_ he must have his own way & I must be content with the remembrance, that I had a Son.'' Basically, Henry said he would disown John if he pursued his interests in medicine. So, John ended up becoming a lawyer/statesman to please his father. There are more examples of John trying to please his father, but let's not take that now... HOWEVER, after John had died, Henry wrote of him in response to John Adams' letter; ''Thank God I had a Son who dared to die in defence of his Country'' ... We get a lot of mixed signals from Henry... Though I do believe he loved him, at least somewhat.., even if he was controlling/manipulative. Henry wasn't too nice to his other children either, but since this is about John I'm not gonna talk about that.
John's brother James died at the age of 9-10 (1765-1775)
James, or Jemmy, was supposedly scaling the outside of their house and tried to jump to the landing outside of John’s window but fell. He received life threatening injuries and cracked his skull. The doctors had figured that the injuries were too severe to save him and John described it to his uncle four days later; "At some Intervals he had his senses, so far as to be able to answer single Questions, to beckon to me, and to form his Lips to kiss me, but for the most part he was delirious, and frequently unable to articulate. Puking, Convulsions never very violent, and latterly so gentle as scarcely to be perceived, or deserve the Name, ensued, and Nature yielded."
Since John was supposed to watch over James during this time, John felt guilty and as if it was his fault. James' death was very difficult for John, and it weighed heavily on him.
Henry did little to alleviate those feelings of guilt, which suggests that he either didn't care enough, or that a part of him also blamed John. (I am not saying he 100% did, but it would not be surprising if he so did, considering how he treated John.)
He could also have been in too much grief to console John... Which, as said, would not be too surprising considering his treatment of John. But nevertheless, he did not do much to help John and John's guilt.
TW: mentions of suicide.
It is highly speculated that John was suicidal. We have a couple of written exchanges where John discusses suicide with friends and family. In February 1774, John wrote to Henry Laurens about two men who had attempted suicide. We don't have the whole letter, but here is a part of Henry's response; ''...But, my Dear Son, I trust that your opinion on that Question is So firm, that you are armed with Such irrefragable proofs of the Impiety as well as Cowardice of Self Murther, as puts you out of danger of being made a Convert to Error...'' (Not gonna put all of it). Another time, when John was a prisoner of war and didn't handle imprisonment well, Hamilton wrote to John ''For your own sake, for my sake, for the public sake, I shall pray for the success of the attempt (of being exchanged) you mention; that you may have it in your power to act with us. But if you should be disappointed, bear it like a man; have recourse, neither to the dagger, nor to the poisoned bowl, nor to the rope.'' It is clear that Hamilton (and Henry, despite how he treated John) were worried about John's thoughts of suicide. John's last letter to Hamilton was probably one of the, if not the, most emotional. He wrote ''Adieu, my dear friend; while circumstances place so great distance between us, I entreat you not to withdraw the consolation of your letters. You know the unalterable sentiments of your affectionate Laurens.'' John died about a month later. On the day of his death, John and his men surprised a troop of British soldiers that outnumbered them. Instead of retreating, John chose to immediately attack. He did not really actively end his own life, though it seems as if it was planned or that he was trying. Which is just sad. Also, it's not sure that Hamilton's last letter to Laurens ever got to him before he died. (In that letter he tells John to quit his sword and come to congress with Hamilton)
I don't know what else to add actually but here you have it!! This is as accurate as I can get it, especially cause it's like mostly based on letters... Uhm. But yay!
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clarisse0o · 13 hours
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Camp Wiegman-Part 76
Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle
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Alternative Universe: Military School
Words: 5K
TW: Abuse Mention
Masterlist
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Saturday, March 26; 9:00 PM – Jenni and Alexia's apartment.
The evening is underway. We're at Jenni's since her apartment is the closest to The United. Needless to say, our friend is well-stocked with beer for the girls' enjoyment. We ordered takeout – Chinese food, to keep things simple. The others left us about an hour ago to enjoy their own evening. We started ours by playing a few rounds of car racing games on Jenni's PlayStation. The games went on until our stomachs started growling. I think Mapi was mostly tired of Alexia beating us. It seems like she's had a bit more practice than we have. So now we're eating, and I took the opportunity to share the good news I received today.
"And so, she’s willing to take you on at her gallery?" Ale asks. "That’s crazy. Small world, huh?"
"We're not complaining," Mapi replies with her mouth full.
She swallows before continuing:
"We were starting to worry you wouldn’t be with us next year."
"Oh no. I was more worried about ending up with nothing. I don’t think I would have left anyway..."
"But is this thing certain?" Ale asks.
"Supposedly. She wants me to visit the gallery and spend a weekend there to see if it works for both of us."
"That’s cool. At least you’ll get a feel for it."
"Yeah, exactly! Plus, she’s a woman running the gallery alone, which suits me even better."
"Yeah, that’s great news," Alexia comments, though with a hint of sadness.
My remark brings about a short silence. I take a deep breath and uncross my legs, placing them on the ground. It was now or never. I mean, there wasn’t a better opportunity.
"I think I’m ready to talk to you about it, girls."
They were both focused on their little boxes of Chinese noodles before I sparked their interest. Neither could hide their surprise.
"You don’t have to," Mapi says first. "I’ve lived in silence for over a year, and I’m fine with that."
"No. Well, no, I don’t have to. But I managed to talk to Lucy about it, so I feel ready to talk to you now. I know you won’t judge me or anything like that anyway."
"That’s the last thing we’d do," Ale replies. "But like Mapi said, don’t feel obligated. Lucy knows, so it’s already a big step for you to have opened up once."
"It’s not about opening up anymore. It’s that you two are my best friends, and I want you to know what destroyed me one day."
They nod in understanding.
"It’s just that if there are two people I’m going to tell this story to, it’s you two."
"Okay," Mapi says first. "Well, if you want to know, I’ve been looking for the truth about all of this for a long time, even though I’ve come up with plenty of scenarios in my head. That piece of garbage Feli still managed to destroy my best friend."
I give a sad smile. It took me a while to understand, but I wasn’t the only one affected by my change in behavior.
"That scumbag, as you put it, abused me for almost a year," I say bluntly, without beating around the bush.
I owed it to myself to do it this way, or my resolve would have evaporated. Still, I can’t bring myself to meet their eyes. I keep my gaze fixed on my box of food, resting on my knees.
"What do you mean, abused...?" Ale murmurs.
"She got angry because of the drugs, and I paid the price... I won’t go into the details. Even Lucy doesn’t know. She ended up figuring it out after my fight with Korbin. I had completely shut down and didn’t want her to treat me at the time, until she understood what was happening."
My throat tightens at the memories resurfacing. It’s harder than I imagined. Alexia, sitting beside me, places her hand on my knee for support.
"I—I didn’t mean to push people away. I just couldn’t stand being touched or approached anymore. I feel vulnerable around people..."
"Oh my God, you poor thing... I didn’t realize it was that bad. So... she hit you?" she asks uncertainly.
I lift my head to see them looking at me with sadness. I sigh and stand up. I don’t like feeling pitied, but I knew what to expect when I started this topic. My back is turned when Mapi speaks before I can answer.
"She did more than that, didn’t she? How far did that bitch go? I mean, you were so strong before. I never would’ve imagined someone could break you like that."
A few tears escape me. I quickly wipe them away. Mapi’s the only person who can guess the full extent of what she did. No one else here knew the Ona from before. So bold and rebellious.
"She did a lot of things I regret," I whisper.
I turn around and lift my sweater to show them my scars. Their gasps fill the room. Some are burn marks, often from cigarettes. Others are knife wounds that struggled to heal properly, as I was never able to treat them. Looking back, I think some of them should have required hospital care. But I never went. It would have meant reporting Feli and going back home. I feel foolish for never doing it now.
"I’ve never seen those," Mapi admits breathlessly.
"Well, if you think about it, I haven’t undressed in front of you since I got back," I point out.
I was never shy with Mapi since she was my high school girlfriend. We used to undress and change in front of each other without any issues before all this.
"The only time you could’ve seen them was at the pool a few months ago, but you were too busy with Ingrid and Joan," I add with a small smile to lighten the mood.
"Oh yeah, that day," she replies. "But wait, you had trouble going to the pool then?" she realizes with shock.
I bite my lip and nod.
"I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t say anything because everyone was so excited. Lucy scolded me in the changing rooms when you all left. She didn’t know no one else had seen them except her... She reassured me and made me feel comfortable before joining you all."
"Oh my God! But why didn’t you say anything?"
"It’s fine, I’m not dead," I joke. "Lucy is slowly helping me feel more comfortable in my body..." I add, blushing.
She’s the first person I allowed to see me in my underwear, practically at the start of our relationship. Granted, I was in bad shape and in a tough spot because of my withdrawal, but I could have refused her help. Somehow, she managed to earn my trust quickly.
"Does she know she abused you?"
I blush even more than before. Mapi never holds back. I can’t even contradict her because we both know she’s right. I had no shame or fear before Feli.
"No," I whisper. "I told her no to avoid her pitying me. She was already worried enough about everything else."
"You can’t hide that from her," Mapi protests.
Her reaction surprises me, and I’m at a loss for words. It’s such a sensitive topic. I’m already pushing myself to talk to her about it, so telling Lucy... the person I share my bed with... is asking a lot. The worst part is that this happened frequently because of Feli’s violence. She had hormone surges she wanted to satisfy, and I was powerless. I often thanked the drugs for helping me forget half of those moments. Seeing my distress and disconnection, Ale steps in to help me.
"Stop, Mapi. This isn’t an easy thing to discuss, especially not with her girlfriend," she defends me.
"What? If I were in her shoes, I’d want to know!" Mapi retorts.
"Please don’t say that," I reply, feeling some remorse now. "I didn’t want her to pity me about this, or worse, to hold back. I wanted everything to happen at my own pace, with her help, and that’s what happened. »
Ale nods in understanding, while Mapi crosses her arms. I sigh at that.
“I was planning to tell her after our first time, but I’m afraid she might take it badly, or... I don’t know... Her reaction scares me a little.”
“She would have every reason to take it badly,” Mapi grumbles. “She would’ve reacted differently if she’d known!”
“And that’s exactly what I wanted to avoid. You know very well I hate being pitied! That’s not how she would’ve helped me!”
Mapi dramatically sighs and rolls her eyes. I understand her frustration. Mapi is the only one who knew me before all of this. She hates that I’ve become so secretive. I guess she expected me to open up at least with the woman who shares my life so she could take care of me. But this is still my choice.
“And what exactly does she know? And since when? Because if even she doesn’t know everything, I’m not sure how to help you anymore.”
“Come on, you’re exaggerating. She’s known a lot for a while. She knows I was a junkie and that I lived in abandoned places with Feli and the other addicts.”
“She knows why you ran away?” Mapi snaps with a certain bitterness.
“Yes, she knows about my dad’s death in combat, and how close we were. She also knows about the communication problems with my family, especially with my mom... Even though that’s a lot better now.”
“And she knows she was violent?”
“Yes, since Korbin, she knows. Like I said before, she’s the only one who will ever know the details of every one of my scars.”
I say this preemptively to stand my ground. I understand she’s still worried about me after hearing all of this, but she has no right to question my choices. Not about Lucy, nor about what I choose to tell her. Mapi narrows her eyes for a moment before sighing in defeat.
“Fine,” she mutters.
“Lucy has helped you a lot...”
I give a sad smile to Alexia, who seems a bit shocked. The poor thing just learned a lot all at once. I had never told her any of this before. To my surprise, she doesn’t resent me for keeping it from her, judging by the way she continues.
“I remember the first day we met. You brushed me off like never before,” she laughs. “I thought I was in for a rough year, and that we’d never be friends given the anger coming off you…”
The way I acted when I met Alexia is one of my biggest regrets. We’ve become very close since then. Alexia just wanted a friend, having never had one before, and I’m glad she can now count me as one.
“But in the end...” she continues. “Once you faced Lucy, I saw that anger disappear. I don’t know how she did it, but she really helped you work through a lot.”
My shoulders slump at this truth. She understands what my girlfriend has done for me. I nod softly to confirm.
“Yes… That’s exactly what happened. She pushed me physically and mentally with punishments… Yet she always listened and supported me. I questioned myself so many times because of her, and I started to trust her. Once she realized that, she began to rebuild me.”
“You see,” Alexia turns to Mapi. “You’re scolding her for not opening up enough… But I think Lucy already knows.”
“Why do you say that?” my best friend asks, frowning.
“Because Ona has never needed to speak for Lucy to understand that something is wrong.”
I sit at these words. If I were honest with myself, I’d say that’s exactly what I hoped for from Lucy. I pushed her away so many times when things got serious, hoping she’d figure out what I’d been through. Unfortunately, she’s never brought it up. So I don’t know if she knows.
“I’m sorry,” Mapi says. “You’re probably right, Ale. I was so jealous at first of how easily she reads you when I’m supposed to know you best… So yeah… She probably already knows, if I could figure it out.”
“I hope so,” I murmured. “I don’t want to say it out loud.”
“Do you still have trouble with people in general?” Mapi asks me.
“No... Well, school and Lucy in particular have helped me open up to the world again. I still push people away sometimes when they surprise me with touch, but it’s happening less and less. We’re working on it a lot.”
“With Lucy?”
“Yes. She’s helping me regain my confidence. In fact, I finally gave myself to her last week.”
“She’s really had a lot of patience. Kudos to her, because I would never have been able to do what she’s done in such a short time.”
“Totally,” Ale agrees. “It’s no wonder you’re so close. Even if you two hadn’t gotten together, I think you’d have maintained a strong bond that the other students wouldn’t understand.”
“Speaking of school, I forgot to tell you, but Wiegman knows,” I said.
The girls look at me without any visible reaction, taking a moment to process what I said.
“Who’s Wiegman?” Mapi responds.
“What do you mean Wiegman knows?!” Ale exclaims.
“Wiegman knows,” I repeat with a small laugh. “Wiegman is the school principal, and she knows. My management professor, who has a crush on Lucy, talked about us to Wiegman. Lucy was there to hand in her resignation letter, and she confessed. She didn’t want to lie, especially since she was about to leave anyway.”
“Wow!” Mapi exclaims. “She’s lost it!”
“But what happened? Are you two getting expelled?”
“No. We think the fact that she knows my mom helped a lot. She also took Lucy’s resignation into account. Since we’re at the end of the school year, she’s letting us finish, and I’m allowed to continue my evening classes since they’re part of my apprenticeship,” I explain with a shrug. “We just have to keep being discreet because if any student finds out, she won’t be able to do anything to stop us from getting expelled.”
“Wow!” Ale exclaims. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Yep. So… Wiegman knows,” I sighed.
“Lucy really took some big risks.”
“I know. I felt bad when she told me, but it just goes to show that honesty pays off.”
“And when did all of this happen?”
“Yesterday.”
“And then you say nothing interesting happens in your life,” Mapi mutters to Ale, who bursts out laughing.
“Alright, enough about me. What about you two!? You always let me go first.”
I look at them in turn. They glance at each other, and Alexia decides to go ahead.
“Well, nothing special. Alba agreed to meet Jenni at Leah’s party. Of course, Jenni accepted, but she’s terrified,” she laughs. “She’s afraid of Alba’s reaction.”
“Your sister’s a bit of a pain,” Mapi comments.
“A bit, yeah,” she sighs. “It’s partly my fault too. I hid my relationship for way too long. I shouldn’t have.”
“True,” I agreed.
“Have you talked to Lucy about it? Are you two coming?”
I shake my head, crushing her hopes instantly.
“Sorry, but she refused. Since we’re under scrutiny with Wiegman, she really wants to wait until the end of the school year before we go public with my school friends.”
“Damn…” she sighs.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be well surrounded. Misa will be there, I imagine.”
“Yeah…”
“She’s really cool, you know. We helped each other out when you and Alba were called in. Maybe you could do the same for her that night…”
“I’ll see,” she grimaces. “I’m not sure where to place her. She came to tell me, and I quote, ‘we should get to know each other better.’”
“Who’s she? Your sister-in-law?”
“Ew, don’t call her that,” Ale replies.
I laugh heartily. It seems like things still aren’t smooth between them. I know she doesn’t really like her, but she’d be surprised.
“Come on, she’ll be a good help, trust me.”
- Yeah, well, wait. I think Alba plans to spend part of the holidays with us, like, "to make up for lost time," you know? I'm so pissed! I thought we'd finally be able to enjoy some time just the two of us!
I laugh again. I understand how she feels. It’s always like that with Lucy. We plan to be together, and then everything gets turned upside down. It's complicated with family all over the place.  
- And on top of that, you two won't be here, she adds. I heard you're leaving a week early.  
- Yeah, we're going to my grandfather's for the first week. Since we're going to Portugal, we might as well make the most of it, I replied.  
- Yeah, that's true, but once again, you won't be here to back me up, she says, pouting.  
- Either way, we wouldn't have been here. You'll have to wait until the end of the year for that.  
- Damn it, sighs Ale. It's ridiculous. It’s not like our friends would rat you out.
- Oh, you never know! Mapi surprisingly defends us. All it takes is for someone to have something against Lucy or even Ona, and boom, they're screwed.
- Yeah, mumbles Ale, not entirely convinced.
I laugh quietly to myself, but I think that’s exactly what Lucy believes too. That, and maybe the fact that she doesn’t want to get too close to her students before she leaves. I’m giving her some space for now, but once exams are over, she won’t have any more excuses. I definitely plan to introduce her to the whole gang.  
- So, Mapi, what about you? Anything new?  
- Not much. I'm selling my apartment. Preparing for my move... The school accepted my enrollment.  
- That's awesome! Ale comments.  
- Yeah, definitely a good thing. Also, my parents got in touch.  
- No way! What did they want?  
- To spend time together and reconnect, she laughs bitterly. Apparently, they wanted to check in on me and see how I was doing.  
- Ouch. Any hidden agenda?  
- No idea. I refused. I plan to spend my vacation here getting settled. I told them that and mentioned I have a girlfriend. When they started giving me grief about it, I hung up.  
- No surprise, I grimaced. They didn’t even ask how you were doing before that?  
- Nope. They started by asking how school’s going, if I’m doing well... Same old. I guess they still don’t have anyone to take over their stupid business. I wasn’t planning on seeing them again anyway. They probably thought I’d changed my mind about how I live. They still haven’t realized I’ll never be straight or take over their damn succession.  
- But what exactly do they hold against you? Ale asks calmly.  
- Well, exactly what I just said. Being a lesbian and loving engineering, which they consider a "man’s job." They would’ve preferred me to inherit the family business and start a family with a man for the succession. I’ve always refused. There’s no way I’m pretending to be someone I’m not for people who were never there for me.  
I smile sadly. She rarely talks about her family, even to me. All I know is that they’re rich, always off on business trips, and were never around. The day of her accident was the turning point for her. They couldn’t even be there for her, so she not only rejected her inheritance but also cut ties with them. I knew it was hard for her. Despite what she says, she values family a lot. I can tell when she’s with mine. She’s always said I had nothing to complain about. I find it awful that her parents want her to be someone she’s not. I’m glad she’s finally found some peace in her life thanks to Ingrid.  
- Anyway, no more news from them. I’m living my life, about to join you guys, and it’s about time. I’m really happy about that.  
- And how’s your leg?  
- It’s doing better. The pain is less frequent. But I know it’ll never fully heal. I was told that after the first surgeries.  
- Do you need another operation soon?  
- No, your mom managed to avoid that. We found other solutions. Better physios,… Anyway, they’ll never be able to fully fix it.  
- What happened, with that? Ale asks hesitantly.  
- Car accident. Wasn’t even my fault, she jokes with a laugh. A drunk driver crashed head-on into my mom and me. My knee got completely crushed. According to all the doctors, I was very lucky, if not miraculous, to have saved it.  
My heart sinks every time she talks about it. She was heading home with her mom when it happened. Mapi was the most injured since the car hit her side. The man in the other car flew through the windshield and didn’t make it. Her mom was the least hurt, with just a broken arm and a few cracked ribs. They were rushed to the hospital, especially Mapi, whose knee was shattered. Their father joined them at the hospital. What I find disgusting is that once her mom recovered, her parents didn’t stay with her. Mapi was a teenager, and legally, they shouldn’t have left her alone. But they did. They went back on business trips for days. They only visited occasionally to check on her progress. Mapi had to go through several surgeries alone, with no support. Then came the physical therapy, where they’d just drop her off at the doctors without asking if she needed help. She’s always said that the best thing her parents did for her was bringing her to Barcelona. They were advised to go to the best surgeons there. That’s when we met at school, and my mom started visiting her at the hospital since she was always alone. She’s always told me that her real family is us.  
- By the way, did you call your mom about the wedding?  
- What wedding? Ale asks.  
I blush in embarrassment. I didn’t even have time to tell her. My God, I really need to get back to reality.  
- My mom’s getting married to her partner. I called her this morning, and I agreed to be her maid of honour.  
Mapi practically explodes with joy, jumping on me. I laugh softly. I know she’s always wanted us to get along better since she’s always gotten along with my mom.  
- No way? Oh, I’m so happy! So, you’re going?  
- Of course, I roll my eyes. It’ll be after the exams. June 18th.  
- Oh no, Ale groans. You won’t even be here for my birthday!  
- Really? When’s your birthday? I ask.  
- Well… the 18th, she laughs.  
- Damn. No, we definitely won’t be here, I chuckle. We’ll probably head to Barcelona right after the exams to help with the preparations and all that. Lucy suggested it to get a break before the exam results come out.  
- Oh, that’s even better! You’ll be with me then! Can Ingrid come too?  
- My mom will probably invite her too, so yeah, of course, I laugh.  
- Well, I’m still upset. No one will be here for my birthday, Ale says, crossing her arms.  
- Oh, come on, we’ll celebrate your birthday, don’t worry.  
I say, giving her a hug. The last thing I want is to not celebrate her birthday.  
- Yeah. We’ll do it when we’re back. Maybe a night out, something with lots of drinks! It would do us good.  
- Speaking of drinks, I saw a bottle of champagne in the fridge. Anyone interested?  
- Yeah! Mapi exclaims. Go ahead, pop it open!
We laugh as Ale gets up to grab it. A glass of champagne sounds good tonight. I needed to unwind, and since Lucy is picking me up later, I don’t hesitate to have a drink or two, especially after Ale pulls out the rest of the alcohol from the other night.
Saturday, March 26; 2:50 AM - Jenni and Alexia's Apartment.
- Darling, someone murmurs to me.
I groan, burying my head into something soft, like a pillow. I recognize Lucy’s touch as she runs her hand through my hair, a little mocking laugh escaping her.
- Come on, get up. I need a little help.
I sigh contentedly, blinking my eyes open. It’s hard to keep them open, even though there’s no light in the room.
- You can stay here if you want, I hear Jenni offer.
- No, no. We’re heading home. Come on, babe, at least sit up so I can carry you.
I groan as she pulls my arms, trying to sit me up. I never know where she gets her strength, but somehow, she always manages. I have a slight headache. I definitely overdid it with the drinks tonight. I don't even know what time it is. Wrapping my arms around my girlfriend, I teasingly pull her toward me. She laughs before pressing her lips to mine.
- You’re not going to make this easy, are you?
- Nope, I grumble.
Too tired to fight back, I let my head fall onto her shoulder. She takes advantage of my state to pull me to the edge of the couch, then lifts me by holding me firmly by the thighs. My limp body betrays me, collapsing entirely against her.
- Thanks again for the evening.
- Will you be okay? Jenni asks her.
- Oh, yeah. It’s not the first time I’ve had to carry her, she jokes.
- Alright, she laughs. Be careful on your way back. Text me when you’re home.
- I will. Thanks.
I hear the door close as Lucy moves, followed by the sound of the elevator. I wait until the doors close to speak.
- You’re not mad at me? I mumble.
- Mad at you for what, baby? she whispers.
She gives me a little bounce to adjust her grip on my body. I groan softly at the jostling.
- For drinking too much, I whisper into her neck.
I’m being honest, because I know she knows. We didn’t have time to clean up the bottles, and I must reek of alcohol. I'd rather be upfront than face a scolding.
- No, she surprises me by saying. Not in this environment, where it’s safe.
A long breath of relief escapes me. She kisses my temple and finally exits when we reach the ground floor. I can feel the cold, and I realize I don’t have my jacket on.
- I’m warning you, once we get to our building, you’re walking up. You’re getting heavy, I swear.
I laugh into her neck as best I can, but I nod. I figure by the time we get there, I’ll be somewhat awake. Somehow, Lucy manages to get me into the car, and I hear the door shut before she walks around to the driver’s side. That’s when I notice my jacket is draped over my lap. I decide to put it on to stay warm.
- I love you, you know that? I say, in the middle of the drive, making my girlfriend laugh.
- Yeah, babe. I think I’m aware, she teases.
- Why are you laughing? It’s not funny. I’m being very serious! I huff.
- I’m not laughing.
- Yes, you are!
- Well, only because you’re the most adorable thing when you’re drunk. I forgot how happy you get in these moments.
- Does that mean I can drink again? I say excitedly.
- I never forbade you from drinking, she sighs.
- Yes, you did at the beginning.
- Yeah, but back then, you weren’t as responsible as you are now. And the places you frequented weren’t exactly the safest.
- Blah, blah, blah.
- Babe, she giggles. Don’t pick a fight in such a nice moment.
- Hmm, I reply, stretching. I’ll try not to, I tease.
We arrive at our building, and Lucy parks in the underground garage. This time, she doesn’t carry me up, but she still helps me stay upright and even undress me a little once we get to our apartment.
- Can I wear one of your shirts? I mumble as I collapse onto the bed.
- Of course.
I’m down to my underwear as she rummages through our closet. I take off my bra without any hesitation. Partly because I’m drunk, partly because I’ve become comfortable with Lucy since we made love.
- Here, she says, tossing me one.
I put it on quickly and slide under the covers, watching Lucy change. Once she’s done, she joins me in bed. I barely have time to snuggle up to her before I feel myself drifting off. I can still feel her lips against mine just before I fall asleep.
- Good night, my love.
- Good night, baby, I mumble back.
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dazzlerazz · 11 months
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ALSO CRICK!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
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featherymainffins · 3 months
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I think it's a hatecrime against me that there aren't any slugs as big as the giant African snail. Why do the snails get to have all the fun I just want a giant slime noodle.
#I don't want to keep a snail as a pet because theyre kinda prone to shell injuries#and then they die. id be in a constant state of stress#i can't have tarantulas even though i really want to for the same reason - spiders molt and they can actually fuck up#and they fuck up kinda frequently. and if they fuck up they die#because they either tear off their organs in an attempt to free themselves or they essentially turn themselves to stone#or they suffocate. i know that I'd be extremely stressed every da#id be like 'what if it happens what if they fuck up molting i have to stand here on guard in case they start molting and mess up'#because sometimes if you're really fucking lucky you CAN manage to save them. but you have to#be there on time and you have to pray. because its much easier for you to kill them than save them#and i would never forgive myself for that#in general it's very stressful for me to keep pets who don't have very clear signals of joy and displeasure/pain because i#constantly worry about possibly taking bad care of them and them being unhappy#i loved my hamster but i did breathe a breath of relief when she died of old age because every day with her was just#so unbelievably stressful for me. i wouldn't help but be preoccupied with trying to figure out if i was doing something incorrectly#if i was a bad foster parent to her if she was content etc etc#she was a great hamster but the experience was very much 0/10 for me i would never own a hamster again#in the same vein i probably couldn't have a tarantula due to this as well.#plus tbh I didn't even want a hamster my parents got her for me because they wanted me to feel obligated not to kill myself#they said that if i killed myself they wouldn't care for her and she'd die so i had to stay alive.#a part of me knew they were bullshitting but it still freaked me out super hard and made me unimaginably anxious about#getting run over or anything happening to me and paradoxically that made me even more suicidal and depressed#didn't help that my mother didn't even believe in her own plan and accused me of planning to kill myself AND my hamster#she accused me of that several times. I've always had a lot of intrusive thoughts about hurting animals so it#made me break down and self harm every time. obviously that made my mother even angrier and many a time it led to#her accusing me of being a danger to her and others#if she felt particularly hysterical she screamed i was just like my father and that she feared me as much as she had feared him#when he still had a gun. you can imagine how that made me feel considering i jsed to have nightly night terrors about my father#killing my mother.
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kenjakusbraincum · 10 months
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can you pls write something about reader being sick and like not the cough and cold kind of sick- like really really sick, and sukuna realising how much he doesn't want to lose her to this sickness and how if she dies, he'll be alone again..🥺
You have NO idea how much I love this idea!!! I did go a bit overboard with it cause I love suffering though 👍 Still, this was SO much fun to write and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Vows
Sukuna x Reader
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Word count: 4.5k
Tags/warnings: gn! reader, true form! sukuna, master/pet dynamic, fluff but most importantly ANGST, mentions of weight loss, mentions of violence, implied nsfw, reader dies in the end :( (sorry)
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It's not the first time Sukuna has been made aware of your mortality. He recalls many instances when he's been reminded that you are human. Finite. The first time he wrapped his hand around your throat and squeezed with calculation while you were laying under him, and you looked up at him in fear for your life. Your little hand couldn't even wrap around his wrist, much less provide resistance. Or when he'd pull your hair a little too roughly, and hear a crack in your delicate spine. When you'd get sick, and humbly refuse his healing. So little as a tummy ache had you writhing on your bed.
You are so weak, so small, clinging to life like there was anything for you in it, beyond Sukuna. By all means he hates all of these things. So what witchery is this, and why does he care about you so much? Why does he keep you for years, and why does your company bring him comfort he hasn't ever known in his lifetime?
Still, as much as he cares, he doesn't notice when it starts. He's trained you to tolerate pain, after all. It's no wonder you hesitate to tell him. Little things like tummyaches and colds occur to you all the time anyways, and you never complain. Sure, you've grown closer to Sukuna, but he was still your master, and the rules he instilled in you from the start were always fresh in your mind, not to be crossed. Bothering him with everything that feels off always seemed inappropriate.
And Sukuna is just like that. If you're not screaming or crying, he won't know you're in pain. But he notices that you're acting off. And how he reacts really doesn't help your case, or encourage you to speak up about your condition. ''I don't have all day. What is wrong with you?'', he sneers when he catches you pacing too far behind him.
So you just sleep longer and preserve energy for when you are with him. You don't skip around as much anymore, or spend time doing your hobbies. Food doesn't taste so great anymore. You have a cough that gives you sleepless nights because it just won't calm down. And the time you owe Sukuna starts to feel like an obligation. You start to dread it. Dread slipping up, dread annoying him or failing to satisfy him. Dread being disposable.
When things start getting worse, it's hard to hide it even from him. He was taking you from behind one night, and you were grateful he couldn't see the look on your face. You thought you could do it. Sukuna was always demanding, but he would never force you to do anything. If only you told him before you felt yourself struggling for air, and your chest closing in on itself in tightness. You reached one hand back, frantically grabbing his wrist.
''Feathers, feathers!'', words came out as gasps, and you slumped forward when he let you go. You were panicked and crying by then, this kind of discomfort being foreign even to you, even after weeks of pain behind you. He hovered next to you with a puzzled look on his face. He wasn't even being that rough.
''What's wrong? Tell me.'', he said, and reached his hand to feel the warmth of your tears streaming down your face. He swiped your cheek gently. He didn't seem mad at all. Why didn't you say anything from the start?
''I just feel so sick.'', you muster up in between sobs, and shut your eyes. You were too embarrassed to even look at him.
''I see.''. His hand leaves your face, and he traces it from your neck down your spine. The pain subsided slowly, allowing you to relax and find comfort in his arms.
But the effects of his healing were short lived. Just a week later the feeling of fatigue creeps back into your life. Manageable, but lingering. And the cough persists. And it gets on Sukuna's nerves too. He's been quite patient with you, but his patience was reaching it's limit.
You're sitting by his throne as you often do, and as hard as you try to hold the cough in, you just can't help it. His hand finds the back of your neck and squeezes, turning you to him. And he looks at you with all four, terrifying eyes. ''Can you shut up?''
''I'm sorry, I'm trying -'', you stutter, but just end up coughing more. He doesn't wait for you to stop.
''Get out of here.'', and pushes you away. You stumble down the pile of bones and fall, landing on your hands and knees. You don't remember him being this cruel to you in a long time. You look back at him with teary eyes, and he looks back like the merciless monster he is. The villagers awaiting him moved to make space for your fall, taking note of the tense situation.
That day, Sukuna sends word that he doesn't want to see you until you get better. You're forbidden from going outside again, in fear that that is making your 'cold' worse. It's a lonely week in your room, until Sukuna starts to crave you again. It didn't take him a while, counting the couple days he spent convincing himself he doesn't miss you. He does. So when he sends word for you again, and the servants come back to him saying you're still not feeling well... he's worried. So worried he comes to see it for himself.
Sukuna rarely comes to your room. It's the only space you have for yourself, and he doesn't want to take that away from you. Your room is modest. You have a bed, a carpet, and a couple shelves to house the books he's gifted you. There's a desk where you can eat and read, and a doorway to the garden. There's an empty glass of water and a napkin next to your bed. You're still sleeping, but the door shutting behind him wakes you up, so he doesn't get to enjoy observing you in your natural habitat for long.
It's not the first time doors opening and closing woke you up. But you know this time is different. The servants are always quickly shuffling around the room, cleaning up and moving around. Uraume clanks with plates. There is no noise now, other than your strained breathing and a cough brewing in the back of your throat. Besides, the aura that Sukuna brings with him everywhere he goes is recognizable. Especially to you. Heavy.
You turn around, and meet the gaze of his four eyes. ''Master...'', you struggle to sit up, and even a little action like that has spots forming in your vision. Then a coughing fit hits you. You pick up the napkin and put it to your mouth.
Sukuna sees your whole body strain with the effort of coughing. And when you call him master, even your voice sounds different. He knows your morning voice. He missed hearing it, but this... this is not it. You sit with your head hung low, staring at the napkin between your hands. There's a fresh splatter of blood on it. But Sukuna scares you more than the progression of your illness.
''Are you mad at me?'', you ask timidly, meeting his gaze.
''I'm concerned.", he says and sits next to you. You curl up to make space for him. "Two weeks is a long time for a frail human like you to be sick.", he looks at you, scanning your form up and down.
"I rested and drank every tea Uraume told me to!", your defense mechanism kicks in, and you start babbling.
Sukuna dismisses you with a hand and a pained facial expression. "I know.", he says. His brows are furrowed now, and he's looking at the ground, lost in thought.
You feel guilty for annoying him again. You feel guilty for the whole thing, getting sick, draining the energy it takes him to heal you, robbing him of the time with you that he deserves. Owns. He is very generous with the way he treats you, having all that in mind.
You tug on his sleeve. "I'm sorry, Master... You deserve better.", and you're sobbing again. Sukuna gives you a pathetic look, but smiles as he pulls you into his embrace.
"Silly pet. I can survive a couple weeks without your assistance.", he says, rubbing your shoulder.
You run your fingers against the back of his hand mindlessly, not knowing how to respond. Caressing his knuckles, bones, veins... feeling his nails and their sharp tips against your sensitive skin. When you bring his palm up to your lips, your kiss stains it red with blood.
-
You still sleep with Sukuna sometimes. Less frequently, only on days when you feel well enough, and those are rare. You've lost weight by now, sickness making itself visible on your body. You're sitting on his lap and clinging to your robes, scared that he won't like you as much, that you won't live up to his standards. But Sukuna's demeanor about your illness has changed, as he seemed to sense something unusual about it. He flips you over so gently, like you're made of glass, and peppers kisses from your neck downwards, slowly undressing you as much as you allow him. When he takes you, he's so careful. Constantly checking you're comfortable and enjoying yourself. You feel so loved and relaxed, and pleasure comes so easy when you're in this state. It's not the first time Sukuna is this caring with you in bed, but this time is different. This time you can't help but feel like he's saying goodbye.
He holds you afterwards, tracing his fingers over the ridges of your spine and your shoulders. You were always little in his grasp, but now that he feels your protruding bones under his fingertips, you seem all the more vulnerable.
"Will you kill me?", you ask, breaking the silence.
Sukuna frowns. "Nonsense. Why would I do that?"
There's a gulp in your throat. "It won't be long before I can't even do this. I won't be of any use to you then...", you say.
"Stop.", he says sternly. "There's a lot more to you than what you provide me with in bed."
You smile to yourself, but there's still a hole in your chest. Your statement is still true, and you aren't comforted. But this is Sukuna, and you know that he's offered you quite a lot even with that little bit of reassurance. To your surprise, he speaks again.
"Don't upset yourself. It's been a long time since killing you crossed my mind.", he says. "Save the energy for something else."
You nod and thank him. Just moments later, you're asleep. Quicker than ever before, he notes. You usually love it when he lets you cuddle and talk to him. You would force your eyes open when you were sleepy, just to enjoy it longer.
He feels guilty. He's your master, he's responsible for your well being. Yet nothing he does seems to help you long term. Healing you is temporary and he knows that without accessing the source, it will never work. If he could, he would find what was making you sick and rip it out of you with his bare hands, crush it with the force of his palm. He would have to look deeper, open you, and for once, he thinks he can't open a human being. He thinks of you trashing, screaming, and worst of all, looking into his eyes. Just the thought of you like that makes his chest feel like a gaping cavity. Worst of all, he's sure you would let him. He's sure you would forgive him for spilling your blood, and find comfort in his arms again. If you survived, that is. What has he done to you? And to himself?
Now, your head rests on his chest, and you're snoring lightly. For once, a repetitive noise like that doesn't annoy him. For once, he wishes he could listen to it every night. One day, that noise will be the only thing audibly confirming you're still alive.
-
Months pass and you're only getting worse. You barely leave your room now, too weak to even do so. You eat little, and it's showing in your sunken cheeks and eyes. You feel yourself withering away, loosing color, drying like a dying flower. Sukuna is in grief. He struggles to look at you, and visiting you falls heavy on him every time. He always finds himself thinking afterwards. Regretting that he let himself get this attached, wishing that he could simply forget you. But it doesn't work that way.
He goes to see you, after avoiding you for a week. He's Sukuna, he doesn't have any shame. You're sleeping, like you usually are when he comes to visit you. Your snoring is laboured, and it sounds painful. This time, the doors and the silence don't wake you up. He watches you, curled up under a stack of blankets, rising and falling with your struggles to breathe. How foolish he was, to think forgetting you would be as easy as avoiding you for days. How evil he was, trying to forget you while you are still alive under his wing, still his responsibility. Still his.
He sits next to you and leans over you, fingertips ghosting over your face. The snoring stops and you flutter your eyes open, turning in bed and feeling his body next to yours. You smirk at him, eyes adjusting to the light, and smile when you recognize him. ''Master.'', your arms wrap around his neck as you welcome him, your voice dry, but lively as you beckon him closer. ''I missed you.''.
He comes down to plant a kiss to your forehead. ''I missed you too, darling.''. Oh, the things that escape his mouth when he's alone with you. He cups your face, enjoying how much healthier you look with a smile on your face. ''Feeling any better?'', he rubs your cheek, lingering closely above your face.
You nod, but both of you know you only feel better because you saw him. Still, the little surge of happiness that brings you gives you more energy than you've had the whole week. You wiggle to the edge of the bed, making space and inviting him to join you. Sukuna lies down, hooking one arm underneath your neck and pulling you flush against him.
You wrap your arm around him and lean your head against his shoulder. He's still as big as you remember him, unfaltering in the face of your illness. It's comforting. ''You didn't visit in a while. Were you busy?'', you ask, stroking his back. ''How were your days?''
''Monotone.'', he says. ''The villagers bring remedies for you every day, and wish for you to get well.'' It's no wonder. So many times, Sukuna found himself hesitating to kill just because you were sitting on his knee, dressed in something too pretty to be splattered with blood. In the local villages, word spread that you have ''domesticated'' Sukuna. As if such a thing was possible. Or was it?
''Oh?'', you smile. ''I didn't think they would notice my absence.''. You always were supposed to be Sukuna's accessory and nothing more. Remedies and good wishes make it sound like you're more important than just a pet. So it really is that obvious...
''They did.'', he says, and lowers his head, brushing his nose against your face. ''Some took that as an opportunity to gift me new pets.''
You blink at him, a bit taken aback by his honesty. You keep smiling anyways. ''Did you take any?'', you ask, and he sees nothing but genuine curiosity in your eyes. The truth is, you've had a lot of time to think about your place in Sukuna's mansion. You knew, especially in sickness, that you were never entitled to exclusivity with him. You knew that at some point you would have to be replaced, just by the virtue of being a mortal. A human, who would age and become ugly, wrinkled and useless. You were just unlucky enough to meet this fate sooner than you should've.
Sukuna sighs, the weight of the conversation shifting to him. ''Not to bed, no.'', he says.
You're quiet while you think of what to say. You still have a habit of picking words when you're with Sukuna, but the times when he would punish you for improper formulation are far behind you. "Why not?", you settle. You hope the implication is there, that you wouldn't be so mad even if he did.
Why not? Because he thinks it might break him. Because the image of someone else in your place, under him, feels unnatural and wrong. He thinks the guilt might eat him alive. For once in centuries, someone else's needs come before Sukuna's. He is gone, so far gone. You've raised his standards, and he's not sure anyone he takes now will be able to live up to them. Besides, training a new pet to fit your mold would take years, and even then... He couldn't train someone to love him. Not like you do.
''I wouldn't want you to hold back because of me.'', you say, and he realizes he's been quiet for too long. Years ago, if you dared to imply that Sukuna would do such a thing as hold back because of you, that he cared, you would've been minced meat ready for dinner. Now, he looks down at you tenderly when you say it. Well, a tender look from Sukuna is a docile one. You've gotten used to the way that Sukuna communicates love. Subtly, innocuously.
''Worry about getting well, pet.'', he shuts down the conversation, and moves away from you, sitting back on the bed. ''Any wishes? Food? Activities?'', he asks, and feels your forehead with the back of his hand.
Food? No, but... ''I'd like you to stay, please.'', you say, and take his hand with the two of yours, feeling it up with your thumbs.
Sukuna resists the urge to roll his eyes, knowing the thought of annoying him would upset you greatly. ''That's a given. Anything else?''
You pretend to think, then just babble your favorite food. Sukuna takes your order to Uraume. But when he comes back, you're already asleep again. He waits by your side, but you don't wake, so eventually he leaves. By the evening, the plate of your favorite food remains untouched.
-
You can't leave the bed on your own anymore. Sukuna carries you outside when you're feeling good enough. You barely have the strength to latch onto him securely. Still, it's hard to slip out of the grasp of his four arms. He says you've gotten pale. You lay in his lap and bask in the sun, while he tells you about his day or reads a book out loud for you to enjoy. You wish you could talk to him more, but your voice leaves you as days of endless coughing wreck your throat. No herbs and teas ease your condition anymore. You wait for your final day.
And Sukuna doesn't know when he's given up on the idea that you might get better. But he starts spending whole days with you, leaving your side only to sleep in his bed. He tends to almost all your needs personally. You think that if you asked him to get on his knees for you, he would. He is not familiar with this ache that brews in his chest when he looks to his side and doesn't see you there. It feels violating. To be as powerful as he is, and yet completely helpless in the face of the sickness that drains you in front of his very eyes.
He plays with your thinning hair one morning, and you look at him from his lap, as adoringly as always. ''Isn't it funny?.'', you say, and he snaps out of his thoughts to look at you. ''I always imagined dying by your hand.'', you kiss his hand again, planting your dry, blue lips against his knuckles. ''Who would have thought?''.
You, you little human. You made him feel like a fool, like a coward. You made him feel powerless. Who could ever get away unscathed with making Sukuna feel like this? The thought of killing you now, even out of mercy, fills him with horror. He thinks he couldn't live carrying the burden of your death on his back. It's already hard for him as is.
When he's not with you, he withers away in his room, waiting. And when the servants finally come, and tell him you're at your last strengths, he feels as tense as he feels relieved. The servants shake in fear of his reaction, and he simply dismisses them. In a thousand years of his existence, he doesn't remember having to prepare to enter a room. His hand trembles as he brings it up to push the door open. He dreads what awaits him inside.
He expected blood, hysteria, chaos, yet there's none of it when he walks in. Just the pained noises of your breathing. A servant, your favorite, sits by your side and wipes sweat off your forehead. She talks to you in a comforting tone and pats your head gently. When he walks in the room, she lowers her head and moves to leave. It's only a second, but he sees the sad look on your face. ''Stay.'', he orders, and the servant bows and thanks him.
You move your attention to him, raising your hand to greet him weakly. He picks it up and bends down to kiss it. There's tears in your eyes as he settles into a seat next to you, and you open your mouth in an attempt to say something.
''Easy now.'', he shushes you, and helps you into his lap. You lean back, looking at him through a blur. His features appear even more doubled through the tears, and you still find his beauty mesmerizing. Your master. Your own little god and protector. Although he regrets it, you've never claimed the title of his spouse. Yet, he still stuck by your side, until parted by death. In sickness and in health.
He wipes your tears, and the mouth he conjures onto his hand kisses your forehead. One set of his hands caresses your face, the other massages the tension out of your bony shoulders. Sukuna knows how important it is for you to pass in peace. He doesn't want to curse you, or have despair turn you into a curse. "Relax now.", his voice is so soothing, as if lulling you to sleep. "It won't be long". You weep. What did an ordinary human like you do to deserve this honor? To be comforted on their death bed by a god. To be guided to death by him.
"Master.", you sob. "I'm so scared..."
Delicate touch against your skin. Sharp nails grazing your cheek ever so slightly, just barely enough to make their presence known. "Have no fear.", Sukuna looms over you like a snowdrop. "Where you go now, pain won't follow.". You speak to him a little longer. Tell him all the things you always wanted to tell him, but were scared of the consequences. Dangerous words, ones that were rarely associated with Sukuna. Love. And Sukuna is attentive, so human. Your blinking slows and you find comfort in his voice, as he returns every loving word back to you. Your pained breathing follows, and your eyelids are so heavy. But the sight of him is so hypnotizing, you wish you never had to look away. "You are so brave, my little dove. Go now, be free.". You were too good for this wretched palace anyways. The sight of him is etched in your memory as you close your eyes. "It was a pleasure to have you by my side.", you listen, feeling control over your body slip through your fingers. When you can't move, or feel his touch, you still hear his calm voice. "When you're ready, come back to me. I'll be waiting for your return.". Then everything is quiet, for you and for him. The servants cries are muffled by the sheets, where she has her head pressed by your side.
The hallways, silent except for the busy tapping of feet. Outside, the wind blows petals off of blooming flowers, leaving them bare and stranded. Autumn is here to carry you away.
Servants hold their breath when Sukuna walks by. One wrong look at him and the walls would be painted red. Just like before. Before you. And it's not long before Sukuna looks like a monster again - red eyes and a permanent frown etched on his face. Villagers bring bouquets, and lay them to the right of his throne, where you used to sit. He stares them all down, and only for a moment thinks that maybe, humans are not the scum he thought they were. But then he remembers, they only mourn you because you held him back from his destructive tendencies. Scum.
And he kills again. The first is a villager from afar, where news of your passing hasn't reached. Ripped to shreds for mentioning you. The women who screamed, their blood soaks the carpets and seeps through the wooden floor, dripping down to the cellars. He feels like himself again, unhinged, unbeatable.
Until the day is over, and he goes back to his empty room. His cold, empty bed, and the old habit of reaching for you in his sleep, only to grab nothing instead. And the crocheted figures of the two of you on his nightstand, watching him as he struggles to sleep alone. He can't bear it. So he leaves, and doesn't come back for days, weeks, months.
Smoke clouds the skies on the horizon once again, after years and years of peace and clarity. As far as the eye stretches, the world will know of Sukuna's wrath. But as thrilling as it feels to conquer again, when the village is burned and ash covers the grass on the ground, the thought of you still lingers. Your devastated eyes the first time he's killed before you. The first time he's felt guilty about his monstrous nature. When he comes back, no one's warm embrace awaits him. No one's there to brighten up his day. No amount of blood shed and villages burned replace the emptiness you left behind in his heart.
The grief settles, and sits heavy in Sukuna's chest, as he assumes position in his lonely throne again, and gazes at the row of people waiting to beg, talk, offer... bore him. Another eternity of boredom. An eternity of picking through thousands of humans, in vain hopes of finding you again. In vain hopes of recognizing you, even if it's lifetimes from now, when the last memory of your face has already faded from his mind. When generations change, and the thought of a monster like Sukuna being capable of tenderness vanishes. When the fire in his chest, ignited by love, is already a memory so distant, that recalling it feels surreal.
Maybe he will forget you by then. Maybe times will harden him again, and the idea of a pet becoming his lover will make him laugh. But for now, the thought of finding you in a crowd, taking you in his arms and never letting go, is his comfort and safe place. For now, he will wait for you. As long as it takes, like a stone, unyielding against the passing of time.
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astonmartinii · 3 months
Text
i can do it with a broken heart [guilty as sin part three] | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader
life goes on after a bombshell but this silence isn't mysterious it's ominous
MASTERLIST | GUILTY AS SIN MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,304,509 others
yourusername: don't tell lies about me and i won't tell truths about you
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user164: oh holy moly this is so much worse than i thought
user165: i don't think i can ever look at those men the same ever again
user166: SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS FOR FAVOURS?
user167: my mouth dropped open when i read that
user168: so like not to be insensitive but like who do we think it was
maxverstappen1: so like y/n obviously can't talk on this because she needs her silence but my big mouth will remain open they tried it on me that's why she mentions that she managed to make friends.
user169: what the fuck
maxverstappen1: they thought that i would be an easy target because i was so young but jokes on them i've always been taken advantage of so i saw that from a mile away (also y/n didn't want to so that obviously helped)
user170: that is actually insane like her and max are the same age so that would've made her so young i hope to god that they didn't try it with anyone older
maxverstappen1: they did but by the time they realised that it hadn't worked on me y/n had allies and fernando and seb were not about to let any of that happen
user171: thank the lord she had some friends when people control your money you'll do anything
fernandoalo_oficial: she became my daughter the moment that i saw them try and offer their family to some of the older men in the paddock
user172: i am actually in shock this was a "oh gosh this is so dramatic situation" but now it's just "holy shit i kinda need to see these guys in jail"
fernandoalo_oficial: me and you both
user173: i'm going to need ferrari to let charles out of the cage for this one
user174: kinda expected him to be in the comments supporting her i'm not going to lie
user175: he's in the likes?
user176: girl? his girlfriend is being sued by his own family and is confessing that she was offered round the paddock like a prize cow i feel like he should be actively voicing his support
oscarpiastri: you're loved and have the full support of the paddock
maxverstappen1: we're behind you 100% of the way
olliebearman: nothing but full support for you mum
pierregasly: we're all here for you no matter what we're allowed to say
fernandoalo_oficial: 🫶
sebastianvettel: it'll all work out in the end
user177: still no charles ???
user178: eh i feel like pierre is confirming charles' support in his place
maxverstappen1
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tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc
maxverstappen1: i'm missing my best friend has anyone seen her?
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user179: oh good i was just about to lose it from y/n and max withdrawals
user180: at least one of the trio of dumbasses is keeping us fed
yourusername: i miss you toooooooooo :( (reply fast my lawyer has gone to the bathroom)
maxverstappen1: hurry up and win your lawsuit so we can go back to kicking ass and drinking gin and tonics
yourusername: i'm trying 🤞
maxverstappen1: and if i said it's time to red wedding them?
yourusername: i think we would be swiftly arrested
maxverstappen1: they can't arrest us our face cards are too strong
yourusername: well one of us is currently in court so what does that say about my face card
charles_leclerc: THAT YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL REGARDLESS FUCK THEM
this comment was liked by the author and @yourusername
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user181: so is that like confirmation that charles is back in PR jail in maranello
user182: right i understand that he's literally employed by them but like he's also a grown ass man who can speak up
user183: like i know max isn't obviously at ferrari and isn't contractually obligated to be teammates with carlos but even he's out here slamming him
user184: and oscar who's only in his SECOND year in the sport
oscarpiastri: bold assumption that you're the best friend max
maxverstappen1: let's not get too rowdy piastri i can deal with you as the 'child' - you cannot be a bestie as well
oscarpiastri: i don't think that's the exact rules
maxverstappen1: you'll soon learn that I MAKE THE RULES AROUND HERE BUSTER
oscarpiastri: i can't wait for y/n to kick their asses so she can come back and KICK YOURS FOR ME
maxverstappen1: she would NEVER
oscarpiastri: okay maybe she wouldn't, but my dad on the other hand ...
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user185: charles just PLEASE GET ON THE MIC
user186: i'm about to lose my patience i'm not going to lie
user187: guys we have to remember that this is a complicated situation with a lot of different moving parts, as long as charles is there for her in REAL LIFE it doesn't matter what we're seeing
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carlossainz55
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carlossainz55: what was it you said? all is fair in love and poetry.
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user191: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
user192: not the childhood dog too ???
user193: these are unbelievable levels of hating
user194: i'd be impressed if he wasn't such an asshole
maxverstappen1: get fucked
carlossainz55: she shouldn't dish it out if she can't take it
maxverstappen1: she fell in love ?? and you thought that was a good excuse to take everything she's ever had
carlossainz55: she cost me my dream
maxverstappen1: as far i can remember, she's not on the fucking FERRARI BOARD GENIUS
carlossainz55: it's her pussy-whipped boyfriend that's the problem and she deserved this as soon as she choose him over her blood
maxverstappen1: you're insane and history will always remember you as the biggest crybaby loser to ever grace this sport
user195: so this ^^ is definitely referring to y/n's poetry
user196: are we living through scooter braun volume two
user197: @taylorswift PLEASE HELP
charles_leclerc: EAT SHIT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL
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charles_leclerc: you are the lowest of the low and you will get what is coming to you
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charles_leclerc: there's only so long i have to stay silent and the people will know just the type of person you are
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user198: so is like carlos deleting this comments or ferrari?
user199: i bet it's ferrari
user200: 1. can they stop being allergic to fun 2. i think this has gotten past the need to uphold image like these are your employees and this is serious actually
user201: also like silencing charles when its CARLOS BEING THE MESSY ONE HE IS ACTUALLY STILL YOUR EMPLOYEE
yourusername: old habits die screaming
carlossainz55: you can spout all the 'poetry' you want it'll all belong to me anyway
yourusername: i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning
user202: stealing poetry? now that's a new low
user203: i'm gonna need someone to take one for the team and put a cheeky front wing in his tyre
georgerussell63: well this sounds like a job for me
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charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc: lets go racing.
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user206: is this even charles? where are the emojis? where is the excitement
user207: i think we might be witnessing a lil PR takeover after his deleted comments tirade under carlos' recent post
user208: you'd think they'd at least get his tone right like the rest of his account is RIGHT THERE
user209: charles leclerc's PR team we now have beef
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maxverstappen1: ugh you people are useless
oscarpiastri: i'm not going to lie i'm losing my patience
maxverstappen1: for real i'm gonna need this court case to finish up fast so we can get back to being a united front of haters
oscarpiastri: and then we can also wrestle charles' phone back by force
olliebearman: PLEASE KNOW THIS ISN'T ME I LOVE Y/N AND WE WILL LIVE TO KICK ASS AGAIN
user210: oh so they quite literally took his phone?
olliebearman: whoops
user210: ollie coming for kid of the year
olliebearman: i can't be told off for accidentally leaving my phone out while in the car and accidentally making my password something easy to remember and accidentally telling charles that his PR team had posted something - accident i swear
user211: @maxverstappen1 can you confirm they're still grossly in love?
maxverstappen1: i do have the letters to prove so but i think he's going insane with withdrawals
user212: that's it GET ME TO MARANELLO RIGHT THIS SECOND I HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE
user213: yo i know we just got some confirmation from max but i can't help but think how lonely this must be for y/n
user214: for real if i was being sued by my family and had everything stolen from me i'd want more than some 'confirmation' through her bff in an instagram comment
carlossainz55: i hate to say i told you so @yourusername but that would be a lie i'm enjoying this so much
maxverstappen1: i want to fight you so bad but my therapist said that's bad
oscarpiastri: it's also illegal?
maxverstappen1: what's the point of being a rich white man oscar if i can't use to it to traverse the justice system and defend my bestie's honour
user215: @charles_leclerc get a backbone and do it like these two ^^
user216: i still have faith that he'll rain hell on that family when he's free
user217: well can he hurry the fuck up cause he's really shaping up to be the worst boyfriend of the year
user218: he has to get fucking loud HE CAN'T PROVE CARLOS RIGHT I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THAT WORLD
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yourusername
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yourusername: i can do it with a broken heart
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user223: no no NO WE'RE NOT DOING ALL THIS GUESSING GAME SHIT WHAT WAS THE VERDICT?
user224: it's finished?
user225: that's what the spanish media are saying
user224: well in that case Y/N WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE YOUR POETRY BACK?
maxverstappen1: a wine evening without me? prison changed you
user225: SHE'S IN PRISON?
yourusername: STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M IN JAIL
maxverstappen1: want me to put some money in the commissary so you can buy cigarettes?
yourusername: i don't even smoke and i'M NOT IN JAIL
maxverstappen1: now you've done time can you employ some stricter parenting on oscar and ollie, they've gotten unruly with both parents absent
yourusername: i'm not an absent mother :(
oscarpiastri: SHE'S VERY PRESENT SHE'S BEEN TO EVERY RECITAL SHE CAN IN HER CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES
maxverstappen1: did you just refer to literal FORMULA ONE GRAND PRIXS AS RECITALS?
oscarpiastri: maybe i did
yourusername: he's allowed to call them what he wants
olliebearman: i feel sufficiently supported by you mum x
yourusername: i'm glad
olliebearman: family dinner when dad gets released from ferrari's top secret base jail?
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maxverstappen1: did he just get sniped by ferrari's PR?
user226: okay cool got the main kids update but WHAT ABOUT LEO?
user227: please tell me he's been been in good care
yourusername: he's been my rock 🤞
user228: not the dog being more present than charles - it would be funny if it wasn't so sad :(
user229: so are any of you going to address the literal caption of this post
user230: there's two options here she either lost the court case or her and charles have actually broken up
user231: the fact carlos is not in this comment section actively gloating makes me think she might have actually won?
user232: but i don't want it to be the other option... charles and y/n are end game :(
user233: but he's been so so silent and that BULLSHIT response in the press conference
user234: idk the delusion in me has this theory ... she won the case but like t swift, doesn't have access to her old work so maybe she's heartbroken over losing that and then it's just exacerbated by her boyfriend's useless bosses that are holding him captive in italy (also he was totally coached to say that shit in the presser it's written all over his strangely expressive face)
user235: at this point i might go to italy and just prison break him out of there this is ridiculous
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fin.
note: DON'T HATE ME YALL i promise it'll get better we must have faith in the man (i know i hate to put my faith in men) xx
extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx
taglist: in comments!
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gay-dorito-dust · 6 months
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Can I request headcanons for Sunday, Boothill, Welt, Gallagher, Blade, and Dan Heng react to his gn s/o asking him randomly if they can hug him in private?
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Sunday: adheres to your every want and need without complaint.
He’d easily have a room cleared for you within seconds and make it known that no one should dare disrupt his ‘meeting’ with you, unless it was absolutely necessary.
And even then he’s the one making the final decision on whether or not the issue at hand was really worth his time and resources; which for most of the time they weren’t.
Sunday would more than likely make private hugs a thing in the future. He knew how busy he was and how little time that gives him with you that he felt as though somethings had to change as a result; Also it acted as the perfect guise for him to keep an close eye on you as you held onto him tightly.
He’s selfish and greedy with you and your affection and will take it whenever he felt necessary. Sunday was a hoarder in his own right but mainly with you and who he was forced to share you with because if Sunday had it his way, you’d never leave the room nor his arms unless he said so.
Boothill:
Smirking bastard this one.
Despite the fact that -apart from his face- he couldn’t actually feel anything, he wasn’t one to ignore you wanting to hug him because of it.
He, much like Gallagher, is the kind who’d thoughtfully enjoy just spending the day having you in his arms as having you close was his remedy for almost everything.
However he would be the type to tickle your sensitive spots for the fun of it, and getting to hear your squeals of excitement followed by the sound of your laughter as it makes him happy seeing you happy from something he did.
Does he hate that he can’t feel you against him? Yes.
Will he try to squeeze you closer in a desperate attempt to feel you, even if it that if was faint? Also yes. He just hoped that he could one day trick himself into thinking that he could feel you, but he spent too long coming to terms with that fact that he had lost that ability long ago.
But he keeps this all as far away from you as possible and decided to focus on the warmth your smile brings him instead to compensate.
Welt:
Is more than willing in giving you a hug.
He might think that something was wrong and that you needed some privacy so that you could confess to him your worries in confidence.
So upon arriving somewhere void of anyone and anything, Welt would ask if there was something that you wanted to get off your chest, only for you to tell him that you just wanted to hug him without having so many eyes on you when doing so.
Welt, being the most understand man ever, completely understands where your coming from and would let you hug him for as long as your heart wished. For he simply wanted you to feel as though he was there for you, regardless of how silly or stupid you might think your issues were, he wanted you to know that someone cared and that someone was him.
You’d probably end up sleeping him his arms as he was just so comfortable to be pressed up against and warm. Welt would find himself staring at you for far longer than he probably should, smiling dopily, before helping you to his room or yours where he would soon fall asleep also.
Dan heng;
Isn’t that great with PDA but is more expressive of his emotions behind closed doors. So the moment you asked for him to give you a hug in private, Dan Heng was more than willing to oblige.
After all he’s more prone to giving you affection and sweet words when you were away from everyone else. Not to say that he doesn’t shows that he cares for you in front of other people, but it would probably be a small group of people you both know, whom Dan Heng would feel comfortable with showing that side of himself towards.
Other than that rare expedition, most -if not- all affection was reserved for when you two were alone together.
His inner dragon noodle thrives off of your affection and warmth to the point where Dan Heng becomes flustered and embarrassed by it. You on the other hand thought it was extremely cute that he softly purrs when you burrow yourself into his arms.
‘You’re purring.’ You’d muse, kissing under his jaw.
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ Dan Heng says, face extremely flustered as the sound of his purrs continued.
He may not be all that vocal but he didn’t need to when his body told you everything you needed to know in the moment. He loved spending quieter moments with you and holding you close as it gave him his much needed reassurance that you very much appreciated him still. That he still had a purpose in your life to fulfil.
Gallagher:
Will agree within a heartbeat because any time with you is time well spent in his opinion.
He may or may not use you as an excuse to have the day off, just so he could hold you for the rest of the day, to the point it might as well become a cuddle session.
Give him any opportunity to cuddle and be lazy with you? Count. Him. In.
Also he’d probably would bite you at random points but you were made more then aware of this habit of his. So you’ve had enough time to make your peace with that fact, unfortunately you were also left with the unenviable position of having to explain why you were covered in bite marks, but that’s neither here nor there.
Gallagher would more than gladly spend the rest of his day with you in his arms no matter what and you weren’t one to argue with him as he was practically a walking furnace, and he made for an comfortable pillow on top of that too. Not to mention that he -in general- smelt amazing, which may or may not have been a primary cause for you to somehow manage to fall asleep in his arms a hundred percent of the time.
Blade:
Blade only accepts to hug you in utter privacy because PDA isn’t his thing. So at first he might not seem at all interested in giving you a hug, but the moment you mentioned that you’d want the hug in private, Blade grunted as he grabbed your arm and dragged you elsewhere from prying eyes.
‘This should work.’ He’d then say to himself before looking back at you and raising an eyebrow. ‘Well?’
‘Well what?’ You ask.
‘Aren’t you going to hug me?’ He relies.
‘Well you never really agreed to be hugged, you just grunted and dragged me here so…’ you trailed off as you were then brought against his chest as his arms kept your in place.
The hug itself was stiff, rigid and was a little awkward but all you have to do was practice a little patience and soon you’d feel him slowly start to relax under your touch. He’s not the type whom people feel as though they could come to him for affection or comforting, affirming words because that’s just not Blade, and he will agree to this also for it not being his forte.
For you however, Blade will try to compensate for those shortcomings by any means necessary. He doesn’t try for others nor put in the effort because why would he when it would ultimately amount to nothing?
but you? His partner? He genuinely tries but is secretly happy when you show compassion as to he just can’t.
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princessbrunette · 7 months
Note
feel like bunny!reader would get so deep in subspace cause rafe was gone all day that she is BEGGING HIM to put the pink bunny tail plug in and he’s just like 😟😟
౨ৎ🐰 ₊˚⊹ ᰔ
rafe is instantly on edge when he arrives home and hears you sniffling.
he had been handling business all day, going from investor to investor, meeting to meeting. he didn’t like that he had to leave you alone, and not because you missed having eachother around, no — he was a grown man, he could handle that. he didn’t like not being around incase something happened to you. he’d get so paranoid that sometimes he’d even send topper, or someone of the same genre to check on you, make sure everything was okay at tannyhill.
the sound of you sniffling sadly made alarm bells ring in his head, and he set down his briefcase of money and pushed his way into your bedroom— nearly jumping when you ran straight into him in the doorway, manicured nails struggling to keep ahold on his shirt.
“hey, talk. why are you crying?” he pulls you back urgently, needing to get to the nitty gritty of the problem so that he could fix it as fast as possible. if someone had made you cry, he would be out that door in a moments notice.
“couldn’t— couldn’t do it!” you warble, now pressing your wet cheek to his chest for comfort. he peels you away, hands on your shoulders as he frowns.
“do what? i need details here, kid— m’not a mind reader.”
you let out another cry and force yourself to stand back, pointing pathetically towards the bed. on his sheets lays your buttplug, the pink fluffy tail of it a lonesome puff on the large sleeping space with the metal end lubed up, sat alone. “want it in.” when you speak next, your voice rasps brokenly, projecting you no more above a whisper. his shoulders relax as he exhales, the slight panic of seeing you so upset leaving him.
“you know you really scared me, dumbass. get on the bed. on your belly.” he flicks his arm out in a point before pinching at his nose bridge, letting you scramble to lay on your front with your dress flipped up. he lazily drops onto one knee on the mattress, your body bouncing slightly with his weight and he yanks your dress higher. “you couldn’t get it in? that’s the problem?” he lifts the plug, inspecting it before pulling your ass cheek apart, tapping your thigh. “c’mon, open these.” he adds in a murmur and you oblige, still sniffling as you spread your legs on request.
“s’too hard.” you continue to cry, frustrated with your attempts.
“okay, okay. relax, yeah? you—you got me now, daddies here.” you feel the cool plug press to your puckered hole and you squirm with a mewl, not expecting it. “relax, i said.” he presses a spare hand to your lower back and you do, but you cry all the same.
as soon as he pushes it in, you go limp— letting out a sleepy hum as he makes sure it’s in properly. “there. jesus, all that fuss for what, huh?”
you sniff, pushing up shakily onto your hands as you try and help yourself up. “just needed—”
“just needed daddy to get you right, yeah i know. do everything around here, don’t i?” you hear his tone lighten up just a tad, pulling your elbow so you wind up on his chest, head resting beneath his chin. he doesn’t say anything for a bit, just lets your breathing regulate.
“gotta stop scaring me like that, alright? when you cry i—i don’t know what to think.”
“sorry, just can’t think properly when i miss you.” you slur, rubbing your cheek against him as if collecting his warmth.
“mm,” he hums and the rumble is deep against your ear. “thats that fuckin’ bunny brain right there. right?” he taps the side of your head with the back of his knuckle like he’s knocking and you nod. “lucky i do all the thinking for the two of us so shit always works out.”
౨ৎ🐰 ₊˚⊹ ᰔ
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thelostconsultant · 1 month
Text
You got me worried
pairing: Max Verstappen x reader
summary: You get into a car accident when you're on the phone with Max, who immediately leaves to see you. Charles finds out what's wrong and offers to go with him. Those few days in the hospital change a few of his personal relationships.
warning: accident, serious injuries. (no death.)
note: My Lestappen heart wanted me to write this.
word count: almost 5.3k
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“You’re stalling,” you said on the other end of the line, and Max could tell you had that adorable smirk on your face that he loved so much.
But he wasn’t stalling, at least not intentionally. He wanted to answer your question, but he honestly didn’t know what to say, so he decided to take his time to figure out what to tell you. Your mother wasn’t very fond of him, she believed that you made a mistake by dating someone whose job was so dangerous, and she always had this bad feeling about him. When he asked you what it meant, you just shrugged as said not to look for logic in this. So he put his own bad feelings aside and played nice every time they were together somewhere. 
And now? Now you wanted to take her on a trip to New Zealand and asked him to tag along if he didn’t have anything else to do. Well, it was clearly a trap. One, he had no official obligations around New Year’s Eve which you knew perfectly well, and two, he wanted to enter the new year on your side, he wanted to kiss you at midnight, so he had no choice but to follow wherever you were heading. 
Letting out a sigh as he leaned back on his bed in the driver’s room, Max decided to yield, something he was only willing to do because of you. “Fine, I’ll go with you,” he told you, trying to keep his annoyance out of his voice. “But why don’t we invite a friend of hers? This way she would be entertained while we spend some time alone. Come on, you owe me this much.”
It was your turn to remain silent, but it only lasted for a few seconds. “I mean, she’s dating this guy now–”
“Someone’s willing to date her?” Shit, this sentence wasn’t meant to slip out. Clearing his throat, he pinched the bridge of his nose and went, “Sorry, I mean, she didn’t seem like she was ready to date just yet.”
“I get what you mean. I don’t know much about him, maybe this could be the perfect chance to get to know him a little better. And you’re right, he could keep her company while we’re having fun on our own,” you said with a laugh. 
Despite the idea being presented for the first time a few minutes ago, Max was already thinking about this trip as the perfect chance to put his plan into motion. Because he’d been planning to take your relationship to the next level, to start a family with you. And what would be better than a proposal in another country and maybe his not so secret attempt to get you pregnant? It would be great, he knew you would be happy. 
But before he could say anything, he heard scream and a loud noise, one that sounded eerily like cars crashing and glass breaking. “What happened?” There was no answer, and he couldn’t help but sit up with his heart ready to jump out of his ribcage. “Baby, please, say something,” he begged, but there was still no response. 
Then he heard people buzzing in the background, talking loudly, screaming for help, telling someone to call the emergency number. One person who was probably close to your car told someone you weren’t moving, but they also said they couldn’t tell if you were dead. Dead. He wanted to shout, he wanted to cry, he felt like throwing up, but somehow he managed to keep his cool. Panicking wouldn’t solve anything, he had to listen for now. But your car’s multimedia system gave in and ended the call, leaving him there with his fears and thoughts. 
Max tried to call you, but no one answered, so he quickly made a few calls to ensure his jet was available the moment he got to the airport. Because the race was over, he only had one or two interviews left, but he couldn’t care less about those. After throwing his things into his backpack, he hurriedly left his room and looked for the press officer to tell her he was leaving right now. She tried to ask him what was wrong, but he just shook his head and waved goodbye, his eyes fixed on the screen as he typed in the address where your phone was at this moment. 
He found a few posts about a crash there, and one of them had a photo as well. It was your car, he knew that right away, but the sight made his heart clench. The other car t-boned yours on the left side, right where you were sitting, which made him afraid there was no way you could survive that crash. But then he found a post about the drivers being taken to the hospital, so maybe it wasn’t so bad, maybe it was just looking bad. 
Suddenly he bumped into someone, which finally made him look up from the screen of his phone. “Sorry,” he said automatically. 
Charles gave him an unimpressed look, motioning towards his phone. “What’s so interesting?”
“An accident,” he replied, having no idea why he answered the question instead of just leaving him there. This caught the other driver’s interest, because he quickly said goodbye to the person he’d been talking to and moved to his side to look at the screen of the device. “That’s my girlfriend’s car on the right.”
“This looks bad. How is she?” he asked, sounding genuinely worried despite only meeting you once. 
Max gulped and shrugged. “I don’t know. I–I was on the phone with her, then I heard a loud crash and a scream. The call ended and no one’s picking up her phone. I don’t know what’s going on, so I’ll just pack my suitcases and head to the airport to get home as soon as possible,” he said without stopping to take a breath. 
Yes, he was panicking, he was losing his cool, but that was the least of his problems right now. All he could think about was the worst case scenario, the possibility of the doctor not being able to save your life. What would he do then? How could he move on from losing you? How could he live his life without hearing your scream all the time? It was all too much, especially after a frustrating race like the one today.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when Charles put a hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes with a serious expression on his face. “Okay, take a deep breath. Are you sure you can drive like this?” For the very first time, he actually considered what he was planning to do, and after a few seconds of thinking, he came to the conclusion that he was definitely not in the right state of mind to drive, so he shook his head. “All right,” the Monegasque began slowly, looking over his shoulder for a moment, “we’ll find someone who can take care of your car, then I’ll give you a ride to the airport. How does that sound?”
It was a long day, Charles had to fight his own battles during the race, mostly with his own team, but there he was, offering to chauffeur him around so he would stay safe. A small, thankful smile crept on his lips as he nodded eventually. Maybe this was for the best, the last thing he wanted was doing something stupid because he was distracted by his fears. 
“Okay. You should get someone to pick you up when you get to Monaco, you shouldn’t drive there either,” Charles told him as they headed back to the Red Bull motorhome.
A desperate laugh left him at this. “Well, she wasn’t there, she was visiting her family, so she’s in a country where the only ones I know are her relatives, and they’re in the hospital with her. But I’ll call a taxi, it’s not a problem,” he explained with a sigh. 
A thoughtful hum from Charles caught his attention as he looked over at him. “Well, in this case I’ll have to drive you around there too,” the other man declared with a kind smile. When Max opened his mouth to tell him it was unnecessary, he just raised his hand to stop him. “I don’t take no for an answer. She’s nice. Hell, it’s easy to tell she has a good influence on you. Now I want to make sure she’s okay too.”
Max could hardly wrap his head around why he offered to help. He surely had better things to do than traveling to a country other than his home, meeting strangers who were the closest to someone he only met once, and providing emotional support to someone he’d been battling with since they were kids. This was beyond him, but he was too afraid to ask for the reason. A little voice in the back of his mind said he was planning something, but then he looked into Charles’s bright eyes and realized he was just being nice. 
They were sitting in the car on the way to the airport when his phone began to ring, and the screen lit up with the name of your mother. Gulping, he swiped his finger and raised the device to his ear. “Hi, Laura, do you know anything about her? Ho–how is she?” he asked, eagerly waiting for the older woman’s reply. 
“I guess you know about the accident then. I’m at the hospital with her. She’s still in surgery and they said it will take a few more hours before they can take her to the ICU. Do you want to come here?”
Did she really ask him if he wanted to be there? After all that time they spent together, after everything they had gone through, she dared to ask him if he wanted to be by her side? Outrageous. “I’m already on my way to the airport, I just need to know which hospital she’s in,” he replied, forcing himself to stay relatively calm. He didn’t want a fight with her, not when they were both in a very fragile state of mind. 
The woman on the other end of the line remained silent for a few seconds, then he heard muffled voices, which was followed by the sound of her clearing her throat. “I’ll send you everything you need to know.”
“Thank you. And if you hear anything, call me. Please.”
“Of course. See you later, Max.”
Once the call ended, he glanced down at his phone and waited until it buzzed again, the notification of a new message showing up. He had a location, although funnily enough, it was sent by your cousin, not your mother. It was a smaller miracle that she called him herself, a part of him expected her to make someone else do this. But at least her dislike for him became obvious once again. 
Charles glanced over at him with a questioning look on his face. “How is she?” he asked, the tone of his voice making it clear that he was walking on eggshells around him.
Max leaned his head against the seat and looked out the window. “Still in surgery, and she will probably be in there for another few hours. Even though she's probably in good hands, I'm not… It's hard to stay positive,” he admitted with a gulp.
“Maybe it will take a while, but she's gonna get better. You need to believe this, otherwise you'll go insane,” the other driver tried, his voice quiet, but confident. 
He was trying to help, and he was right, but his mind was full of thoughts about the worst case scenarios. What if you end up in a coma you don't wake up from? What if there's serious brain damage? What if you can't live the same active life you used to? He knew you would be devastated, and it's not like he would leave you for that, he just didn't know how he could handle it emotionally.
So yeah, he was already going insane. 
“Why are you doing this?” Max asked, voicing the question that had been in the back of his mind for a while now. 
Charles responded with a questioning hum, and despite the pair of sunglasses he wore, it was easy to tell he was watching him with a raised eyebrow. “Why wouldn't I? Look, maybe we're not friends outside the track, but I can imagine how hard this situation must be for you. Just accept the help for once, okay?”
After taking a deep breath, Max nodded. “Thank you.” 
The Monegasque had a smirk on his face when he returned his attention to the road. According to the sat nav, the airport was only five minutes away, so Max unlocked his phone and saw a message from Lando that told him to check X’s trending topics. When he opened the app, he saw his name at the front, and the posts were about some anonymous source leaking information about you being in the hospital. 
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath as he scrolled through the flood of posts. 
“What?”
Looking over at him, Max let out an annoyed groan. “Her accident made it to social media. From what I’ve seen so far was based on a post from someone who either works at the hospital or is a first responder. And someone kept digging until they put the pieces together, so now there’s a photo of the car wreck circling around,” he explained. 
“It’s not that bad. Unless they’re celebrating. Please, tell me they’re not celebrating.”
Max shook his head. “No, it’s not that, but whoever wrote the original post made it clear her life is hanging on a thread. So people are now getting ready for the worst case scenario.”
“Her not surviving this?” Charles guessed as he glanced over at him. When there was a quiet nod in response, he gulped and looked back at the road. “She won’t die. Don’t even think about it. She’s young and strong, and I’m sure she’s a fighter. Okay, we’re here.”
For the first time in a while Max looked up and noticed they had indeed arrived. After getting their suitcases, they got on the jet and sat down to wait for the takeoff. During the flight Charles tried to avert his thoughts by talking about the race and bringing up old memories from their carting days, and Max realized that he had absolutely no idea how he would say thank you for his help. 
For years he assumed their long history of rivalry meant they could never be friends, and their conversations would be nothing but casual chats based on mutual respect. But now he was here, providing the kind of emotional support he so desperately needed. 
Two hours later they entered the hospital building through a big crowd of paparazzi, reporters and fans, trying to navigate through the maze to find where your family was waiting. It took some time, but eventually they found them. Your cousin was the only one who jumped up and ran over to him, her arms sneaking around his body to pull him into a hug as she cried. The poor girl was only sixteen, and despite the age difference you two were the closest, as if you were siblings. His eyes fell on your mother, but she was simply staring ahead with a neutral look in her eyes. 
Charles decided to sit down not far from them, sending a message to his girlfriend so she would know where he was, but Max knew he was paying attention. “Any news?” he asked Sophie, your cousin.
“Yeah, she’s in the ICU, just until they know she’s really stable. She has a badly broken leg, a few broken ribs, one even punctured her lung, and… Yeah, severe concussion, and I think there’s a fracture in her cheek.”
Max gulped as his fingers ran through his hair. “That’s a lot,” he noted, earning a nod. “But she’s relatively okay, right?”
“You can say that,” your mother suddenly spoke up, finally acknowledging him. 
For a few moments they were just staring at each other, and Max was beginning to think she would start blaming him for the accident. Even if she didn’t know about the call they were in at the time, she would sure as hell find a reason to put the blame on him. She always did, whenever you had a bad day, it was surely his fault, even when you weren’t even in the same country.
But to his surprise, that’s not what happened, because she suddenly walked over to him and pulled him into a tight hug. He didn’t even know what to do at first, his eyes were moving back and forth between Sophie and Charles, but they both shrugged to tell him they had no clue what he should do. So he wrapped his arms around her too, soon hearing her crying into his shoulder. 
“I’m glad you’re here, Max,” she said when she took a step back and looked up at him. “I had my doubts, but… Knowing you rushed here after finding out what happened means a lot to me.”
With a sad smile, he nodded. “Where else would I be? I–I don’t know if you knew, but I was on the phone with her when the accident happened. She told me about the trip to New Zealand you’re planning, she was trying to convince me to go with you, and… Would you mind if I tagged along?” he asked, as if he needed her permission. 
But maybe he did. Maybe this hug was the olive branch he’d been hoping to receive one day, the least he could do was make sure she was okay with the plan. And maybe him going with you wasn’t the only thing he should talk to her about, maybe he should mention the most obvious decision he had made during that call. When she said she wouldn’t mind if she joined them, Max took a deep breath, then cleared his throat. 
“There’s something else. I’m planning to propose on New Year’s Eve. A few hours ago I thought your opinion was irrelevant and it’s her decision, but… now I’d like to hear what you have to say. Would you be okay with it?” he asked hesitantly, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to another.
Your mother’s lips curled into a smile all of a sudden, then he reached out to take his hand in hers. “I’m sure that would make her really happy. And if she’s happy, I’m happy. You know what? My idiotic ex-husband used our family heirloom, a beautiful engagement ring, to propose. How about giving that to her?”
“Are you sure?” She nodded without hesitation. “Thank you, that would be great.”
Since the doctor said they would tell them when they could go and see you, Max sat down next to Charles and waited there in silence. The other driver glanced up from his phone every now and then, but eventually he had enough of the silence and decided to pay full attention to him. 
“You okay?” 
He honestly didn’t know the answer to this simple question. You were alive, your mother gave him her blessing, what else would he need? Still, he couldn’t get himself to say yes. “I don’t know,” he admitted quietly. 
Charles nodded as he supportively patted his back. “I’m sure you’ll be better once you see her,” he noted with a small smile. “You heard her mother, the worst part is over, now all she needs is time to recover.”
And that was a problem he had to solve. He knew your mother would be more than happy to help you, he could hire a live-in nurse to take care of you, he could send you to the best rehabilitation facility in Europe, but nothing would make him feel good enough if he couldn’t be there by your side. Because he still had half a season left, he was expected to travel around the world, away from you, and the thought was killing him. 
“Without me,” he eventually said, so quietly that he hoped Charles didn’t catch it.
But he did, and he clearly understood what was bothering him. “I know it’s hard, but she will understand that you can’t be by her side all the time. Once the season’s over, she won’t get rid of you,” he said with a laugh, nudging his side with his elbow. “Come on, let’s get some coffee. We could all use it.”
Max nodded, and as Charles took the orders, he asked Sophie if she would like to come help them. He knew she was a traitor who supported his rival, but she was young and nice, so he chalked it up to teenage stupidity for now. While they waited for the coffees, Charles and Sophie got lost in a conversation that was conveniently in French “so she could practice.” They seemed to get along, and he was glad your cousin had a reason to smile for a while.
This is why he spent this time checking his phone and found a bunch of messages from friends and family, all telling him that they were there if he needed help. Knowing so many people cared about them warmed his heart. It was mostly you, he knew that, your charming personality had everyone wrapped around your finger. This gave him the idea to send a message to his mother and sister, telling them he would propose the moment you were feeling well enough to make a decision. 
A few hours later Charles said goodbye and promised to be back the next day, and soon your family left as well. Your mother wanted to stay, but Max promised to call her if there was anything to know. So he slept on the couch in the waiting room, ignoring the weird look some people gave him the whole evening. A nurse was nice enough to bring him a pillow that made it a bit more bearable, but he wished you could be transferred to a regular room where he could ask for a bed to sleep in next to you. 
In the morning a doctor gently squeezed his shoulder to wake him up, and he groggily rubbed his eyes as he sat up. “Morning, Doctor,” he said, trying hard to fight back a yawn. “Did something happen?”
The man sat down next to him and turned to him with a small smile. “She’s ready to be taken to a normal hospital room. You mentioned to our staff yesterday that you want her to be placed in the VIP section, preferably with an extra bed for you, so we took care of everything. I can walk you there if you’d like,” he offered. 
“Sure, sure, thank you. How is she?”
“A little better. She’s strong, she’s breathing on her own, so I’m confident she’ll pull through. Just be patient,” the doctor replied. 
Once he was in the new room you were being taken to, he sent a text to everyone about your new location, then impatiently waited for your bed to be wheeled in. His foot was tapping fast on the linoleum floor, not stopping until the door opened and a young man stood there with a shocked look on his face. Max raised his hand to say hi, to which the poor man only reacted by going out to continue his work to get you inside. 
A nurse walked in behind him with a kind smile on her lips, then moved her attention back to you as she got you settled in the room. He wanted to go there and take your hand, but he knew he had to wait. He would have time, there was no need to rush, they had to do their job first. You were hooked on machines, your body bandaged all over, and the sight brought tears to his eyes. If he didn’t know you were through the worst part, he would assume you were still between life and death. 
Soon everybody left and he sat on a chair next to your bed, gently taking your hand in his. He had no idea if you could hear him, but he talked to you nonetheless, telling you about him making peace with your mother, about Charles being here with him, about your whole family being here, and about how much he loved you. He even begged you to wake up, to come back to him. 
“Good morning,” came Charles’ voice about an hour later as he walked inside with two cups of coffee, from which he handed one over. “Here, I guess you could use it.”
With a thankful smile, Max took it, then leaned back in the chair and watched as the other man looked down at you with a sigh. “The doctor said she’ll pull through, she just needs to rest,” he told him.
The fellow driver looked up with a smile. “See? I told you.” He sat down on the edge of the other bed and took a sip of his coffee. “Your suitcase is in the back of the car. I didn’t know which hotel you wanted to stay in,” he added.
“Neither. I’m staying with her,” Max was quick to clarify. 
“Yeah, but you need to take a shower, you need to sleep.”
“There’s a bathroom and you’re sitting on my bed. I’ll be fine.”
Charles followed his gaze and let out a tired groan. “She wouldn’t mind if you left for a few hours. Look, why don’t you talk to her mother to take shifts by her side? I’m sure she would understand that you need proper sleep,” he explained, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. 
Silence followed his words, mostly because Max didn’t feel like arguing about this. He was here to stay, by your side, right until he had no choice but to leave for the next race. “If it was Alex, would you leave her side?” he eventually asked. 
“No,” came the response right away. “I probably wouldn’t.” After sipping their drinks in silence, the Monegasque stood up at one point and threw his now empty cup into the trash can, and turned to him. “Okay, I’ll go get your suitcase so you can freshen up before her family arrives. And Laura is bringing us breakfast, so you’d better look presentable by the time she gets here.”
“Laura? Since when are you on first name terms with her?”
The other man laughed and shrugged. “Since I took the time to have a chat with her yesterday. All right, let’s get you cleaned up.”
For the next few days, this is how things went. Charles was always the first to arrive, then he left to get lunch, and stayed until four or five in the afternoon. Max had told him to go home, that he would be fine now, but he didn’t care about this. He said he wanted to be there, at least until you finally woke up so he could tell you that almost dying just to get an emotional reaction out of your boyfriend was an overkill. And maybe he mentioned one day that Alex would stop talking to him for a few days if he left him alone, so he decided to be a good boy. 
One night he was woken by a strange sound coming from you, as if you were trying to speak up. Ever since you were brought in, he became a light sleeper, so he immediately picked up on the change in the atmosphere of the room. He turned on the light above his bed and moved over to you, his hand falling on your face right away, thumb gently brushing your cheek.
“Hey, baby,” he said as he leaned down to kiss your forehead. “I’m here. What do you need?”
Your eyes turned to him, immediately locking with his blue ones, as you registered that it was truly him. Your fingers squeezed his hand, the feeling of you being awake making him smile. “Can I… get some… water?” you asked hoarsely. 
He immediately reached out for the glass and filled it from the bottle next to it. He helped to put the end of the straw in your mouth and held the glass for you. “I’m so glad you’re finally awake. You almost got me worried,” he explained. 
“How long…?”
“Five days. How are you? Does anything hurt? Should I get a doctor? I should get a doctor, right? Yeah, you just–” 
He only stopped talking because you gave him a tired look and laced your fingers with his. “Max, relax... It’s fine,” you said weakly. “I need a minute… before you call them.”
You didn’t want to talk, you just wanted to be there with him, holding hands while your brain caught up. But eventually he apologized and left to find a nurse, because he was too afraid that something would go wrong if he waited too long. He needed confirmation that you were okay, that it was safe to let you talk, to touch you, to kiss you. He wanted to know when and what you could eat, when he could bring you your favorite coffee. His brain was in overdrive, but he didn’t mind. 
Not when he finally had you back. 
The next morning he was sitting by your side, having a conversation with you about something trivial. Speaking went well now, the soreness in your throat quickly faded with practice. Sure, you still weren’t a hundred percent, but it was much better than what he heard in the middle of the night. He told you what happened, he told you everything he had mentioned while you were unconscious, and your conversation went so well that he didn’t even notice Charles coming in. 
“You’re awake!” the Monegasque said with a bright smile as he handed the usual cup to Max. “How are you feeling?”
You returned his smile, but when you tried to take a deep breath, you couldn’t help but wince. “My ribs hurt like hell when I breathe or talk too much,” you replied. “Thank you for staying with him.”
Charles looked over at Max, then his eyes returned to you. “I’m staying by his side because I don’t want my girlfriend to kick me out.”
After all those days it was hard to tell if he was serious, or if he was just saying this to hide the fact their relationship did change lately. Max surprised himself, because he wanted to believe it was the latter. His gaze returned to you, choosing to stay out of your conversation for now. 
“Still,” you began, but fell silent when you looked over at your boyfriend. “Why can’t you be like Charles?” He gave you a confused look, and out of the corner of his eye he noticed the other driver’s evergrowing smile. “He gets proper sleep. He shaves. He doesn’t live in a hospital room,” you added with a stern look. 
Shaking his head, Max placed a kiss on your temple. “I’m not leaving you. Don’t even think about it.”
“But she’s right,” Charles told him with a shit-eating grin. 
“Go to hell,” Max told him with a roll of his eyes.
997 notes · View notes
ghostandsoap · 11 months
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Feeling You
Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem! Reader Tags: Light smut. Cockwarming. Ghost being a softie. Word Count: 1.0k "Just happy you're here."
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⋆˙⟡ ♡⋆˙⟡
In the quiet sanctuary of your shared solitude, you and Ghost sat chest to chest, your hearts beating in a rhythm that echoed the symphony of your love.
The world outside ceased to exist as you lost yourselves in each other's presence, your souls whispering secrets that only you could understand.
The warmth of his body seeped into yours, blurring the lines between where one ended and the other began. Your breaths intermingled, a testament to the intimacy that you shared. Each inhale was a silent promise, each exhale was a sigh of contentment.
The only sounds were your breathing, heartbeats, and the occasional whimper from you when Ghost shifted his hips underneath you.
Ghost's cock was nestled far inside of you, his tip pushed against a sensitive spot that you didn't even know existed until just now. He stretched your walls so perfectly and sat so comfortably inside of you that Ghost felt high off of it.
You had soaked his thighs and lower stomach, your arousal leaking on and around him. You weren't much better, because your inner thighs were dripping.
The two of you were spending the week together, not a single plan or obligation to be had. Ghost had every intention of staying in and keeping you as close as possible. It wasn't often that he had this opportunity, and he would be a fool to let it pass him by. The week consisted of movies, snacks, cuddles, and just about anything else that didn't require either of you to leave.
The two of you had been lounging on your living room sofa, just watching some cheesy documentary that you both agreed to watch. It was more for filler noise than anything, because the two of you had managed to chat with one another through the entirety of it.
When the film was over, you turned off the TV and your side table lamp to prepare to close your flat up for the night -- however, Ghost wanted just a few more minutes.
This was about an hour ago when Ghost had set you up on his lap. Mainly just because he liked having the chance to look up at you and he loved watching you sit on his thick, muscular thighs.
Frankly though, he hadn't anticipated this.
Somewhere along the way, your cotton sleep shorts and T-shirt were discarded, along with his sweats. Your clothes were tossed aside to be retrieved in the morning.
The two of you had shared some sweet kisses, and all the shifting around prompted Ghost to slide his cock into you slowly when you were wet and ready.
However, Ghost held you still when you tried to bounce on him, which caused you to raise a brow. Ghost was sitting up straight against the back of the couch, holding onto you in his lap like you were his lifeline. It took you a few moments to settle into this arrangement that he was making.
Eventually, the two of you morphed around one another like you were the most perfect fit. Like two pieces of the most beautiful picture.
It was inevitable for you to start squirming though. After all, it was hard to resist him when he was literally right under you.
Ghost groaned and huffed when you rolled your hips forward, one of his hands coming to your hip to restrain you.
"Sit still," He said, kissing your forehead. "I just want to feel you for a bit."
"Sorry," You sighed, head still resting on his shoulder. "Just getting comfortable."
"It's alright, doll..." He chuckled. "Just happy you're here."
Ghost's fingers traced paths of affection on your skin, each touch igniting sparks that danced beneath the surface. The silence returned, filled with the unspoken words of love that hung heavy in the air.
In this moment, you were not just two bodies sitting chest to chest; you were two souls intertwined in an eternal dance of love. Your connection was palpable, a force that defied logic and reason.
As the two of you sat there, Ghost realized that he was living a life he never thought he would ever have. He was experiencing a love that was uniquely his. A kind of love that he once thought he was far too damaged and broken for.
"You're so beautiful," He almost whispered. "My pretty girl..."
You pulled your head back to look at him, your eyes sleepy and cheeks glowing. He loved you so much he could barely even understand it.
"I love you." You remarked, rotating your hips in a way that was more involuntary than anything else.
Ghost couldn't help but let out a low laugh when your grinding down against him was returned with a slow, yet firm snap of his pelvis into you. He knew that this charade wouldn't last long, because one of you was going to crack sooner or later.
"I love you." He returned, his lips meeting yours in a meaningful kiss.
He didn't stop you this time when you started to rock your hips against his cock, the feeling of moving inside of you causing a flutter of his eyes.
He couldn't deny you any longer. He had to let you have your way with him. Truth be told, it was starting to drive him a bit mad anyways.
Your movements along with Ghost's were slow and careful...sensual. He wanted to feel you for as long as he possibly could. He would do this forever and ever if he could.
His cock felt insane inside of you as you fucked him at such a glacial pace. It was insanity because Ghost couldn't believe that he could ever deserve something as good as this...someone as good as you.
The slow rise and fall of your body onto his made both of your hearts begin to beat faster. The two of you craving the other like you were the only source of life.
And in the sound of your shared heartbeat, you found a melody that only your hearts could compose.
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dreamwritesimagines · 2 months
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The Eye of the Hurricane [31] - Secrets
A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️
Summary: Keeping secrets from business partners can lead to issues.
Word Count: 3300
Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Warnings: Violence, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship, mentions of sex. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.
Series Masterlist
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Well if that didn’t prove your worth as a potential heir, you didn’t know what would.
For a couple of seconds, no one spoke. You could feel Bucky’s quizzical glances on you but you managed not to look at him or your father who was staring at you in shock.
Ian was the first to break the silence.
“Chicago?” he asked and scoffed. “I know you’re new to this whole thing and Bucky doesn’t share everything with you, but Chicago is impossible.”
You let a smirk curl your lips and turned to the rest of the table.
“A deal with Chicago would ensure—”
“We can’t get Chicago,” Ian cut you off and you arched a brow.
“You can’t,” you told him. “I can.”
“How?” Natasha asked and you shrugged your shoulders, leaning back in your chair.
“Rhett is an old friend.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the puzzled expression on Bucky’s face and as much as you wanted to explain it to him, you reminded yourself that it could wait. Steve pulled his brows together while Sam looked between you and Bucky, and Tony sat up straighter.
“You’re telling me you know the king of Chicago?”
“No Tony, I’m telling you the king of Chicago trusts me.”
“Why?”
“Because I made sure of that.”
“And you didn’t bother telling us about this?” Clint asked Bucky and that made you finally look at him. Bucky stared at you in silence, a fire burning in his eyes before he clenched his jaw and turned to Clint.
“Matter of trust I guess,” he said curtly, drumming his fingertips on the table and you could feel your stomach doing an unpleasant flip at the sight of carefully controlled fury on his face, then took a deep breath.
“The underworld in Chicago works a bit differently than here,” you said. “They never had the need to do business with any other cities and no, Rhett wouldn’t do business with any of you. Bucky knowing me or being married to me wouldn’t have changed anything either, Rhett will want to make a deal with someone he actually knows.”
“No,” your father spoke for the first time. “You’re not getting involved in this Y/N.”
“With all due respect father, your heir is obliged to listen to you,” you said and shot him a small smile. “I’m not.”
“But hold on,” Yelena asked. “How do you know him?”
You liked the night life in Chicago almost as much as in New York. While your and Becca’s surnames made sure you could get into any place in New York, it also meant that there was more of a chance of someone in the club letting your father or Becca’s father know you were there. More often than not, you’d run into Steve or Sam or Bucky—
No.
You weren’t going to think about Bucky.
Bucky was a fucking asshole.
“All I’m saying is that you broke up more than a year ago—” Isla shouted over the music as the bartender put your drinks in front of you. “And don’t get me wrong, Ethan is cute and all but he can’t keep giving you puppy dog eyes whenever you’re around.”
“He’s not,” you said, leaning back to the bar as you took a sip of your cocktail, keeping your gaze on your other friends who were still dancing on the dancefloor.
“Yes he is,” Isla said. “Even Bradley is aware of it.”
“Well Bradley was the one who introduced us,” you reminded her with a grin and she rolled her eyes.
“And I apologize for my boyfriend’s lack of foresight,” she said. “No seriously, you need to move on.”
“I did move on!”
“But you still feel guilty.”
“I don’t,” you argued as someone took the spot next to you by the bar and Isla repressed a grin, giving you a look. You turned your glances to the person to see him eyeing you up and down, and he smiled at you as soon as he realized you were looking at him.
“Hey,” he said. “I’m Tommy.”
“Y/N,” you introduced yourself and he nodded.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
“I already have a drink,” you stated with a grin, holding up your cocktail glass and he hummed.
“Ah,” he said. “I guess I can wait until you finish that one then?”
“So you’ll just watch me drink?”
“Sounds like a plan—” he started but was cut off when another guy walked through the crowd to nod at you, then mutter something into his ear. Tommy’s eyes widened and he put his beer bottle on the counter.
“Sorry,” he said without so much as a glance at you, then walked away from you.
“The fuck?” Isla muttered while you arched a brow, glaring at the guy.
“Hi,” he said. “I’m Kyle. My boss wanted me to tell you that everything you ladies drink tonight is on the house.”
Isla blinked a couple of times. “What?”
“And he asks if you’d like to join him upstairs,” Kyle told you, making your eyes narrow in fury. “Your friends are welcome to join as well, of course.”
Ah.
Well, that explained things.
This whole nonsense of getting someone intimidated with a mere order was way too familiar to you, and you clicked your tongue while Isla shifted her weight.
“Um, Y/N maybe we should go somewhere else…”
“It’s fine,” you assured her. “I got it. Kyle, isn’t it?”
He nodded, stealing a look at the mezzanine where a couple of guys were having a conversation on. You couldn’t exactly make out the faces from the club lights, but if you had to guess, the guy who didn’t look interested in the conversation and was instead leaning on the rails and watching the crowd had to be Kyle’s boss.
“And your boss’s name?”
“Rhett Davis.”
The prince of Chicago.
Lovely.
“Great,” you said. “Well Kyle, why don’t you go and tell your boss that I don’t appreciate him interrupting my conversations and I’m not a fucking dog to go to him when he whistles, hm?”
Kyle gawked at you. “He’s—”
“I know who he is, our fathers are in the same line of business,” you told him, making his eyes widen.
“Y/N?” Isla said and you waved a hand in the air.
“Everything is alright, don’t worry.”
“Whose daughter are you?” Kyle asked and you gave him a smirk.
“I believe you have a message to deliver, Kyle. Run along now.”
Kyle hesitated only for a moment before walking away from you to climb the stairs and you turned to Isla.
“What was that?” she asked and you shrugged your shoulders.
“Long story,” you said as your friends called out your and Isla’s names, motioning at you to join them on the dancefloor. You let out a laugh, and shook your head.
“I think I’ll finish my drink, but you go ahead.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely, go,” you said with a smile, pushing her gently and she walked to the dancefloor while you sucked on the straw of your cocktail. You pulled your phone out of your pocket to send a quick text to Becca, letting out a small laugh when you saw her response.
It was only when you lifted your head from your phone that you saw the bartender’s eyes widening before you felt someone step forward to take the spot beside you, making you look over your shoulder before you turned around.
The infamous prince of Chicago was hot, even you had to admit. He had to be only a couple years older than you; his disheveled curly hair giving him an air of nonchalance, and his blue eyes sparkling even under the club lights, reminding you of Bucky’s just a bit. There was a small smirk playing on his lips and when he motioned at the bartender for a drink, you could see the tattoos scattered along his muscular arms before you forced yourself to raise a brow at him, but that just made his smirk bigger.
“I think we got off on the wrong foot,” he said calmly, then offered his hand. “I’m Rhett.”
You tilted your head, then shook his hand before introducing yourself as well and he pulled his brows together.
“The prettiest girl in the club is New York’s underworld princess,” he commented. “Figures.”
“And the cockiest guy in the club is Chicago’s underworld prince,” you said, your voice silky. “Shocker.”
That made him chuckle and he raised his hands, gesturing surrender. “I meant no disrespect.”
“Makes one of us.”
He looked genuinely entertained at your snappy retort as you finished your empty cocktail glass down and he motioned at the bartender for a refill which made him rush to prepare your drink as fast as he could. You raised your brows.
“I can order my own drinks, thank you.”
He hummed.
“Well, I can’t have you return to New York and tell your daddy Chicago was anything but nice to you.”
“And you want to be nice to me?”
“Depends,” he said, his unwavering gaze sending a fire your cheeks. “Do you want me to be nice to you?”
You could feel your heartbeat getting faster but you chastised yourself in your head, then scrunched up your nose.
“I don’t date or sleep with people in the business,” you told him as the bartender put your drink in front of you. “So you can go away now.”
Rhett’s amused smile widened. “Are you ordering me around in my own city, Y/N?”
A smirk curled your lips and you heaved a deep sigh.
“Someone has to,” you said. “Are you telling me you’re not good at following orders, Rhett?”
“I’m good at giving them.”
You pouted your lips, then took a sip of your drink.
“Well,” you said. “Turns out you and I have something in common then.”
“I went to college in Chicago,” you told Yelena. “We kind of ran into each other.”
Your father’s frown deepened. “And you didn’t think to mention that?”
“I didn’t think it was necessary,” you told him. “I met a lot of people in Chicago, Rhett just happens to be the most important one for business, that’s all.”
Bucky nodded to himself slowly, still keeping quiet as he fixed his gaze on the table, but you could see him clenching his jaw.
“And you’re confident that you can convince him to make a deal with New York?” Steve asked and you nodded.
“As long as we have a good offer.”
“I can show you the latest offer we made him,” Clint told you. “You can go over it so that you know what he refused the last time.”
“Yeah, that would be—” you started but was cut off when someone knocked on the door, then stepped inside. The bodyguard approached Natasha to mutter something to her ear, making her grit her teeth, then she pushed her chair back, Yelena jumping on her feet.
“Nat?” Steve asked and she took a deep breath.
“There’s been an attack on my territory,” she said curtly. “I must cut this short.”
“Of course,” your father said as everyone stood up as well, Clint already walking outside with Natasha and Steve and Sam going after them. Tony nodded at you before he walked away as well and you stole a look at Bucky who was walking to the door without so much as sparing you a glance but before you could say anything, you heard your father’s voice.
“Y/N, a word?”
“Um,” you blinked a couple of times. “Bucky—”
“See you at home,” he said, still not looking at you and he walked out of the room, making your stomach do an unpleasant flip.
“Leave us,” your father told Ian and even though he looked like he wanted to protest, he heaved a sigh and left the room as well. You sat back on your seat, drumming your fingertips on the table.
“Yes?”
“Was it you?”
You tilted your head. “Hm?”
“The first attack on the shipment,” he said, making your stomach drop. “Before the raid. Was it you?”
Fear surrounded you so fast that for a couple of seconds, you couldn’t hear anything because of the blood rushing in your ears, making your hearing muffled. The invisible fist around your throat was getting tighter and tighter but you forced yourself to keep your expression as calm as possible.
“Is that what we’re doing now?” you asked. “Blaming each other?”
“Was it you?”
“No!” you exclaimed, a hysterical laugh escaping from your lips. “Is that what Ian told you? What, he wants to kill me now, is that it?”
“No one is going to touch a hair on your head, I just want to know—”
“I would be killed if anyone suspected I broke the truce!”
“I will cover it if you did break the truce,” your father told you, making you pull back slightly.
“…What?”
“Do you seriously think I’d let anyone harm you?” he asked. “Are you that blind? You’re my daughter, I would start a war against all these families if they tried to do anything to you.”
“Truce is important—”
“Anyone who tries to harm you will meet their death,” he told you, looking you in the eye. “No exceptions.”
You swallowed thickly. “Even Ian?”
“Even Ian,” he said without hesitation, making you gawk at him. “Tell me the truth. Was it you?”
 You dug your fingernails into your palms and took a deep breath, then shook your head.
“No,” you rasped out. “But I’m not going to pretend I’m not happy that it happened.”
He held your gaze in his as if trying to see whether you were lying or not, then leaned back on his seat as well.
“And this Rhett deal?”
“We used to hang out when I was in Chicago,” you said. “Simple as that. I know how he operates, me knowing him wouldn’t have worked if you or Bucky or anyone else tried to make a deal with him. He will want someone in the business.”
“And you are in the business now?” he asked you and you clicked your tongue.
“I am.”
“I don’t like this.”
“I don’t like most of the decisions you make when it comes to business,” you retorted. “Especially recent ones, but here we are.”
He narrowed his eyes at you before a rare smile curled his lips and he let out a loud laugh.
“Never the one to shy away from honesty, are you?” he asked and you shrugged your shoulders.
“Learned from the best.”
He reached out to squeeze your hand, making you smile as well.
“Wine?” he asked and you turned your glances to the door, biting inside your cheek before turning to him again.
“Bucky will be busy I guess,” you said. “Sure, wine works.”
                                        *
As you expected, when you returned home Bucky wasn’t there. In fact, he didn’t return home until early in the morning, and by that time guilt was already churning your insides. If it were him who pulled what you had in the meeting, convincing you to make him a part of the meeting only to reveal he had a different plan in mind, you would be furious as well so you understood why he hadn’t bothered coming home last night.
Didn’t mean you liked it though.
You tried not to get discouraged when he ignored your “good morning” and went straight upstairs to take a shower while you sat by the kitchen island, pushing your breakfast around, petting Alpine with your other hand. Being nervous wasn’t new to you but this was the first time you were sure that Bucky was actually pissed, and you didn’t know why it bothered you so much, but it did.
So when you heard him walking downstairs, you sat up straighter, doing your best to ignore the tension in the pit of your stomach.
“Buck?”
He only hummed, putting his cufflinks on and you licked your lips as Alpine jumped from the counter.
“Can we talk?”
“Now you want to talk?” he asked, still not looking at you and you bit at your fingernail.
“Yeah,” you said. “Listen, I know it looks like I went behind your back.”
“You did go behind my back,” he corrected you and you pushed yourself off the stool, clenching and unclenching your fists.
“I get that you’re upset,” you stated and he scoffed.
“No shit I’m upset,” he said. “All this time I thought we had a deal, that we were in this together but you…what, you just decided to keep me out?”
“What does it matter?” your voice was way too defensive and he stared at you.
“You can’t be that self-centered,” he said. “Right? No one can be that self-centered.”
“Bucky—”
“Newsflash Y/N, I’m supposed to be informed about your fucking strategy if I am a part of it!”
“You were informed about the strategy you were a part of,” you defended yourself and he gritted his teeth.
“And the rest?”
“I—you—” you stammered. “I have been planning this for a long time Bucky, I’m not going to just…”
“You’re not going to just trust me?”
You rubbed at your eyes, then took a deep breath.
“I need to prove myself to others,” you said, trying to keep your voice stable. “I need to make sure that everyone around that table prefers me to Ian—”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Me having a direct connection to Rhett will ensure that,” you continued as if he didn’t cut you off. “And it will be good for business—”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It will give a message—”
“Tell me why you didn’t!”
“Because you could take it from me!” you snapped back before you had the chance to stop yourself. “And it was my move, it was my strategy, it was my plan, okay? No one else’s!”
Pain flashed over his handsome features and he stared at you as silence fell upon the room. You closed your eyes for a moment, reminding yourself to be calm despite the tension clenching your muscles together and opened them again, clenching and unclenching your fists to focus.
“I didn’t—” you stammered. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
He was quiet for a couple of seconds before he took a deep breath.
“Nothing I do makes a difference to you, does it?” he asked, his voice low. “No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to prove to you that I…”
You tried to fix your breathing. “You what?”
A dry laugh climbed up his throat and he shook his head. “Never mind.”
You could feel your eyes burning but you tried to focus as he ran a hand through his hair, then clenched his jaw as if trying to pull himself together.
“You’ll make a great boss,” he rasped out and your head shot up, the corners of your mouth twitching upwards.
“…Thank you.”
A painful smile pulled at his lips. “It wasn’t a compliment.”
Your brows pinched together in confusion and he shook his head slightly, grabbing his jacket off the hanger.
“You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met in my entire life,” he told you. “And there’s no one you wouldn’t waste just to get what you want. You’ll be the best among us, I’d say.”
An ache appeared in your chest. “Bucky, can we please—”
“You wanted to be business partners?” he asked as he put his jacket on, his piercing gaze pining you to your spot. “Fine. But don’t fucking come crying to me when I treat you like one.”
With that, he slammed the door behind him, leaving you there frozen.
Chapter 32
367 notes · View notes
lowkeyremi · 11 months
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Late Nights aizawa x reader
it's my birthday so im writing about the man i share it with (-ε-)
content: post war au, fluff, established relationship
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"This isn't good for your health, Sho." Today marks the 5th night he's stayed up past 11 pm grading papers or doing something else for his job.
"How do you think I managed before I met you?" His small sigh meets your ears, and you really want to help him. Seeing out of only one eye is most definitely slowing him down.
"You looked dead on the outside when we first met. Do you want me to help grade papers?"
"I'll finish before one, go back to bed, honey." His eyes meet yours once he hears you scoff. He's draining himself by staying up this late, every single night. His face is lit by the warm kitchen light, one of his hands tugging at his long black strands of hair in order to keep himself sane.
"Shota. I'm not taking no for an answer." You say firmly, crossing your arms to indicate that you mean business.
"I knew you'd say that, come sit down." He gives in every single time. He knows he needs the help, he just doesn't want to admit it.
"Can you read through these essays?" At first you're confident, there's only a few papers on the table.
"Can you?" You nod diligently. You confirm you're willing to help, and your husband gets up from the table and slowly walks toward your shared bedroom. When he does return there's a large stack of papers in his arms. They drop on the table with a thump. He chuckles at your horrified expression.
"Just get through as many as you can. Write feedback on them too, hon." No wonder he's always so tired, you forget that 1-A isn't his only class. If you can remember right he has six periods of classes.
"Is this pile all your class or.." He's sat back down by now and started going through papers with red pen.
"That's 3rd and 4th period. I'm finishing up with 1st and 2nd right now." You click your tongue. It's hard to get started, you don't have any motivation unlike Shota. His only motivation is probably the fact he has to do this.
"Why don't you have an online classroom? It would make grading so much easier." He's probably going to say something about not knowing how to use it..
"I prefer for my students to write manually, because it helps with remembrance." Sounds like something an old man would say. You'd voice your opinion but he'd have a comeback for sure.
-----
"Shotaaaaa, I don't wanna do anymore." Your head is resting on the table, the cool wood on your cheek. He doesn't even spare you any sympathy either, laughing at you quietly. His rich chuckles sound like comfort more than mockery in your opinion though.
"Sweetheart, you've only graded four essays." The huge stack of papers looks back at you from it's side of the table.
"Yeah and each essay had like four to five papers in it. I feel bad for your students." The two of you are going to cuddle. You're determined to make it happen, so before he could even reply, you bounce up from your seat, grab his hand, and tug him towards your bedroom.
"We're going to sleep. I'm not taking any other answers besides "okay" or "yes my love." He clicks his tongue at your statement, but finds no reason to oblige.
-----
"Do you want to know something?" He whispers into your ear cuddling you close enough to feel the warmth of his chest on your back.
"What?" At this point you're only half-conscious, struggling to register what your husband's just said.
"I'm actually ahead of schedule. I can grade those papers loosely throughout this week." He admits with no guilt or shame in his voice at all. What a workaholic.
"Are you serious? So I could have been cuddling you all this time?"
"Yeah, I just do work to get out of my head." You wonder how many times you'll have to remind him that you're his strength and that you'll help him through anything, before he actually believes it.
"If you were having trouble sleeping, you should have told me." His big hand rests in your hair playing with it slowly.
"Didn't wanna bother you." His hand is so comforting that you almost fall asleep.
"You're never a bother to me Sho." Your voice is so soft and sincere that he almost breaks out into tears of joy. He's so happy to have met you.
"Oh." It has finally clicked in his brain, even though you've been married to him for quite some time.
You are his light.
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boyfiejay · 7 months
Text
Polaroid Love
OR What kind of polaroids would Enhypen keep in their wallet / phonecase
PAIRING : OT7 x female Reader
GENRE : fluff, lovesick enha boys
Warning : none really, lmk if i missed smt
Author's Note : Happy Valentines to people who have a valentine and people who don't, wrote this in 30 mins because i forgot it was valentines 🤩 single people things ig
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Heeseung
Keeps a strip of photo booth pics in his wallet
●It was like you guy's nth date and you randomly spotted a photo booth
●And obviously you had to take pictures for you both
●Heeseung had happily obliged (he was just letting you drag him around the whole time)
●The space in the booth is so small so consequently you sat on his lap with his arms around you
●Man was over the moon, not only does he get to keep cliché couple photos, he also has you on his lap
●You both take photos with various different poses
●For the last one, Heeseung softly grabs you chin and turn you head. His lips already on yours before you could realise, he pulls away after a couple seconds.
●Resultantly you got the softest photo of you two ever. His mood instantly lightens up whenever he sees it.
Jay
A polaroid of you holding his guitar
●Man loves his guitar so much it makes you question if he even likes you
●But surprisingly he never ever said no to you anytime you wanted to hold his baby (he would never say no to you)
●And whenever you practiced on his guitar, he just felt so giddy inside
●The way you were so gentle and careful with it was too much of a happy sight for him
●So he makes the logical choice to capture this moment
●The polaroid remains in his phonecase and he never feels embarrassed or shy to show you off
●Infact he talks too much about you, so much that his friends beg him to shut up
●But anyways he loves that polaroid with his life.
Jake
A picture of you with Layla
●He has his priorities straight, only cares for his two girls (forgets his mom AGAIN)
●But he sulks so much when he realises that layla loves you far more
●But then again you two look too cute together so he can't even get mad about it
●So you were just playing around with layla, and then suddenly you hear the shutter of the camera
●The picture is kind of blurry, but its the best he could get with how energetic Layla is.
●Shows the picture to anyone and everyone, like dude no one talked about your dog or your girlfriend, why are you pulling their photos out
●But he's just so energetic and happy no one even says anything to him, Sunghoon probably has that photo revised so much he could draw it blindfolded...
●Makes the photo into a polaroid and keeps it in his wallet, so now its easier to take it out.
Sunghoon
You both laying down in the ice rink
●Ice skating dates with him are honestly not boring despite you being their for the 10th time
●He finds something to entertain you with every single time and its just amusing
●It had been around an hour of sunghoon chasing you around and you were very tired
●So instead of going to the sitting areas, you decided to lay down in the middle of the rink, just trying to stabilise your breathing
●Sunghoon, also somewhat tired layed down beside you, it was quiet for a while until sunghoon took out his phone
●He took a couple picture of you with your eyes closed, which would later be used for blackmail, because you looked dead in those pictures
●When you finally opened your eyes to see what he was upto, you saw him make a funny face through the screen and laughed
●Gotta admit he has some very good timing because the picture turned out of be very cute and later became a polaroid.
Sunoo
Heart on the cheeks trend but a polaroid
●You two were just scrolling on tiktok and finding random beef that keeps happening there
●And you come across a tiktok where friends / couples draw hearts on their cheeks with lipstick
●Excitedly you showed the tiktok to sunoo who immediately ran to your bedroom to get your favourite shade of red lipstick
●Although you were the one who found that trend, sunoo seemed too excited to try it out
●You both drew the hearts and clicked some pictures, even taking ones with your polaroid camera
●And after everything was done and you were washing your faces, sunoo randomly told you that he had been waiting for you to see that trend
●Because he knows you would be happy that you found the tiktok before him :((
●And although telling that to you defeats the whole purpose, you still were very touched by this
●That polaroid is never leaving his wallet istg
Jungwon
You with flowers in your hair
●You both were just walking around with maeumi, you walked so much your feet were starting to ache
●So you both sat down on a park bench with maeumi playing around you two
●It was very peaceful until jungwon plucked flowers from the small bush near you two
●He just randomly started putting different flowers in your hair and you were far too tired to ask him why
●After he was satisfied with his masterpiece, he quickly pulled out his phome and started taking pictures of you from different angles
●One of the hundreds of photos he took was absolute perfection, you smiling at the camera as the sun hits your face just right
●As much of a simp he is, no one can deny that he really did took a phenomenal photo
●It was his lockscreen wallpaper for half a year, then turned into a polaroid that will stay in his wallet for eternity
Ni-ki
A candid of you in his clothes
●I'm obsessed to the agenda that riki loves seeing you in his clothes
●And it was just another on of those times, you two had came running through the heavy rain so you wore his clothes till yours dry off
●Now this guy was red in the face when you just walked in the room
●No matter how many times he's seen you like this, it still makes him flustered
●You were busy with something and he just snaps a couple pictures of you, adding them to his collection of your photos
●Now you had no clue of those pictures for a good couple weeks, until he came to you giggling and all
●Why? Because he turned those photos to polaroids and although you were going to tease him about it, he was just so happy :((
●He's such a cutie patootie around you...
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shadebloopnik · 6 months
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Unrequited/One-sided Radioapple but it isn't treated like an angsty end of the world thing.
Imagine they slowly get closer after all the banters, and eventually becoming close friends. Lucifer ends up catching feelings for him, and after a long while, decides to confess and ask Alastor if he felt the same.
Alastor admittedly does not feel the same.
He's getting uncomfortable, struggling to keep his composure because he's DONE this before. He KNOWS how this ends. He remembers Vox and all his insistent declarations of affection and desperate pleas for Alastor to reciprocate; the possessive entitlement. He remembers how all those sickly sweet words morphed into something venomous when he didn't give the lowlife what he wanted. He remembers the anger, the ridiculous notion that it was Alastor's fault why he was so mad, that Alastor led him on and that he obviously deserved something in payment for it all-
So yes, Alastor knows how this ends.
It doesn't mean he isn't disappointed though, because he actually LIKES Lucifer, far more than he ever did Vox. Perhaps not in the way the king might have wanted, but he did. He treasured their little talks, their drinking sessions, their shared love for their instruments, Lucifers singing, their little duets, the banter, the playful jabs, the sparring.
He'd even slowly grown accustomed to the other's touches, not feeling the same surge of disgust and discomfort whenever the shorter man would grab at his arm in excitement, forgetting his usual thoughtfulness of Alastor's touch aversion for the short moment of whatever distracted him. Alastor even enjoyed it at times, relaxing at the feel of soft feathers beneath his claws, or the sensation of gentle scratches against his ears.
Difficult as it was to admit, Alastor had grown to care for the angel, the same way he had for Rosie orv Mimzy.
But no matter how fond Alastor was of Lucifer, it didn't change the fact that he didn't feel the same way romantically, or even sexually. No way in the 7 rings of Hell was he going to lie to Lucifer about either, not going to even entertain the idea of pretending he reciprocated for Lucifer's sake. He respected his friend too much for that.
So a clear, direct rejection it is. It was a shame, but nothing could be done. He said his piece concisely, and waited, shoulders set, back straight, smile and eyes a careful blank canvas as he prepared for the inevitable.
Lucifer nodded, a normal soft smile still in place, "Thank you for your answer, it means a lot."
Which......what? Alastor expected an outburst, or at the very least sharp words.
What he did NOT expect was....acceptance? And not just that but, a happy one? Contentment?????
"You're....alright with that?", he had to ask, he had to. Lucifer was clearly just very good at masking his upset.
But the damn angel just smiled?? And it didn't even look fake, just as bright and soft as his normal smiles, albeit a little confused?? Lucifer smiled at him, his brows furrowing in a bit of confused disbelief, as though Alastor is being the weird one here.
"Uhh, yeah??? Why wouldn't I be??? Yeah I may have some feelings for you but its not like you're obligated to feel the same. Above anything else, we're friends first and foremost and i'm alright with that..."
Then he seemed to have reached his own little conclusion as his words trailed off, because suddenly Lucifer's eyes widened in realization of something, and his words picking up with a sense of panicked urgency.
Alastor would really like to know what Lucifer's supposed realization was about himself because he had absolutely no clue.
"I mean, we ARE still friends right?? I don't- I- I hope this doesn't like- change your opinion of me. You're not- oh gosh I'm not making you uncomfortable am I? I- I won't mention it! You can even forget this whole confession ever happened! We can just go on as before! I don't feel any different or would act any different! Honest! I mean, I don't regret confessing because you deserve to know and I'm not ashamed of my feelings, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable! It doesn't change the way i'll treat you! Or change any aspect of our relationship! I don't even think I like you more as a lover than as a friend! I really, really do love our friendship, it matters more to me than any thoughts of being in a romantic relationship with you! So please just forget it all-"
Alastor let the word vomit wash over him, every word leaving him more confused by the minute.
Because yes, there's the desperation he expected, but...it was more about, convincing Alastor to remain friends?? Reassuring Alastor that nothing has to change?? That their friendship is the most important thing here??
(If anyone asks, no Alastor's heart didn't swell. Only lesser beings would have had the urge to cry, and Alastor is anything but.)
Lucifer is unknowingly reassuring Alastor of every single one of his insecurities about the situation. Because Alastor DID want to remain friends, he cared too much about the man to let it go so easily. It was rare to find people who treasure friendships above romantic relationships.
"I don't tend to forget easily, nor will I forget this one in particular.", he spoke, finally finding his voice. At Lucifer's defeated, pained expression( is their friendship really that important to him?), he continued. "But....yes. I'd like that.. To remain...friends."
He didn't often say the word out loud, being comfortable enough with each other that it need not be reassured with the label. But with Lucifer brightening up like his namesake, relief and happiness palpable, Alastor felt no qualms at declaring their friendship out loud.
So life went on as usual. True to his word, Lucifer remained basically the same. The following weeks were a bit stilted for Alastor, as he put some rather painful distance between him and the angel; limiting their interactions, their usual touches.
Anytime now, Lucifer would break and show his true colors, Alastor would think, waiting for the boot to drop. Lucifer would end up angry, and dissatisfied, and that was that.
But it never happened. Lucifer never expressed discomfort when Alastor avoided him, seeming to be understanding of the others need for space. He was just as affectionate as before, though initially a bit held back, as though gauging Alastor's comfort.
Months would pass, and the king never faltered. Their friendship remained strong, if not growing ever closer than before. Alastor found himself even growing more comfortable with the man. Affectionate touches were becoming common, hugs and head pats and cuddles being a welcome thing, with the reassurance that the shorter king would never disrespect his boundaries.
Lucifer seemed genuinely happy about it, despite being clearly told that none of Alastor's actions hinted at anything romantic. In fact, he seemed ecstatic that Alastor was getting more affectionate towards him as a friend. The embarrassment the radio demon felt at having Lucifer basically tear up (no really, he was crying so hard, full on drama sobbing) with joy in front of him was intertwined with the sheer incredulous fondness he felt for the man at that moment.
They were sitting at a couch one night, more than a year passing since that confession. Lucifer was leaning back, resting against the cushions, while Alastor had his head on the smaller one's shoulder, nuzzling at the crook of his neck, legs tucked close to his body. Both had a book in hand, two nearly empty cups of tea on the table in front of them. Every so often, Lucifer would flex his fingers that rested on Alastor's head, running a digit against the other's ear, often prompting the demon to lean into the touch. White wings enveloped the two, blanketing them against the chill of the night.
As Alastor turned the page of his own book, relaxing into the touch of his dearest friend, he wondered how he ever got so lucky in hell.
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