#because even very observant catholics do not act like they do

[f1ghtsoftly]

my boss and I were both raised catholic/went to catholic schools and her in laws have a tradcath son and I really appreciate that we bully him at every opportunity, what a freak.

[leuchtstabrebell]

just saw the Jesus Christ Superstar production in Nuremberg with a friend and thought i'd share some of my observations because this was WILD

details under the cut because i have a lot to say but this might be one of the queerest and boldest productions of JSC i have ever seen. the pope is herodes, nuns are participating in orgies, Mary is a mother, the catholic church is critizised every step of the way, hirarchies and power structures are questioned, and Judas wears a skirt. There are neon crosses and halos and a lot of blood, and so much thought and love put into this. The production value is very good as well. The cast is very young, especially the apostels and Judas and Jesus who are all in their early to mid-twenties, and the vibes are simply amazing.

This production is set in modern day rome and the vatican. jesus and the apostels are queer leftists activists trying to reform/act against the catholic church. like, this is the central element of this production.

(text on these signs reads, from l. to r.: No mandatory celibacy, God is a woman, Maria 2.0, #outinchurch, renewal now, the head of the fish is rotten. The banner reads "God is the love")

Many of these signs are references to reform movements inside the church and discussions around abuse of all kind in the catholic church, as well as demands for a more inclusive christianity (and society).

Jesus officates a wedding between two women apostels and everything is very gay. there are several rainbow flags involved. jesus is draped in a giant version of the flag at one point.

that being said, it is made pretty explicit that mary and jesus have some kind of relationship thing goin on??? They also sometimes seem removed from the rest of the group who have major found family vibes. they go on picnis and protests together, they care for each other, they dance, they sing, they cuddle. there was so much going on, I probably missed a lot of interactions between the apostels. Judas was very involved in the group, more than mary or jesus even, and judas and simon had a very cute friendship (they even play-fought in the beginning). They all hugged and kissed each other a lot as well. (Fun fact: many of the apostels are still in actors school and they did a cooperation with the staatstheater nuremberg which offered them the chance to participate in such a big production)

Now my thoughts on the individual characters:

Mary: sadly, my least favourite character in this production. i didn't really vibe with the actress, although she was great vocally. She rarely interacted with the apostels and kept mostly to herself and the apartment she shared with jesus and her child (I don't like the decision to have them live together almost like a nuclear family). it also did not help that she was noticeable older than the rest of the group and her costume wasn't great either. i loved her kid though, she was really cute (apparently, the gender of the kid changes depending on the child actor that day, here it was a girl). The child also connects the group, there were some cute found family vibes (although they could have done so much more with this ahhh). there are also several moments where the child symbolizes a brighter future to come, and hope, and innocence. she was such a cutie!!!!

This Jesus is a weirdo. Just a weird guy. Kinda Enjolras vibes, kinda angelic, kinda high as a kite beliefs in magic, depressed queer vibes. He would sometimes do weird motions with his hands to summon his powers to heal people????? his outfit was a statement as well.

I liked the acting, although the interpretation is one i had not seen before. The singing was pretty good, although the actors voice was a bit weak sometimes and he often had difficulty with belting higher notes. the actor has a very very soft voice in general??? it kinda contributed to the vibes of this jesus though and worked fine

I didn't like that they actually showed him being able to heal people, I like it more when it stays ambigious if he can actually do wonders/if he is actually the son of god. Interestingly, at the same time this Jesus felt very deserted by God to me? Gethsemane was very intense but also so absolutely defeated. it did not feel like a conversation with god but more pure desperation screamed into a void... This Jesus was really broken :( Also, the torture and whipping (which happens in the vatican???? kinda illegally???) was absolutely brutal and very bloody and he was sobbing in fetal position at several points of this production. also shaking like a little deer. in the last scenes, they filmed close-ups of his tortured face with a camera live and projected it on the large background screen which was very horrifiying and genius, especially during superstar. poor guy. he seemed very sad and burdened a lot of the time

Judas: There he is!!! My boi!!!! He was my absolute fave. The acting and singing was amazing, one of my fav interpretations of this character. The costume choices for him were amazing ( I mean look at him in that skirt and these boots) and this production chose to portray him in a very sympathetic light. He is the soul of the group in this production, while Jesus is the brain and Simon is the heart. (Peter is the bedrock, and Mary and her kid are honey-grease holding them together)

I mean, look at him!!! This judas cares so much, he contains multitudes. He is clearly loved by the people around and loves them back fiercely. He hugged people a lot and was very physical in general and the actor had so much charisma!!! In this version, Jesus and Judas also kind of seemed like two sides of the same coin, which I really liked. While Jesus is kind of otherworldy, charismatic, calm, and enigmatic, Judas is much more hands-on, real, passionate and energetic.

This Judas (like the whole production really) was very angry but he had every right to. In this production it also seemed like his anger at Mary and Jesus being with her was less about Mary (taking out some of the misogyny, luckily) and more about jesus retreating to something that could be perceived as a bourgouise lifestyle (my interpretation, at least). This judas seemed very queer but then again, most apostels in this production seemed to be queer. (The betrayal kiss was very passionate, btw)

Oh, and the cardinals waterboarded Judas with holy water in a church on wooden benches they put together??? And they also threatened and hurt him several other times??? I'm not sure what to feel about this because this makes the betrayal very very cooerced and that might flatten the character but it adds so many new layers as well. They also just push suitcase full of money on his arms and leave him there clutching the thing and sobbing??

Judas death ripped my heart out, it was so raw and cruel and also put emphasis on the cruelty of the catholic church and an uncaring or even cruel god?

and then he absolutely slayed in superstar. all the background dancers were the apostels (which was a deliberate choice because they had a huge cast they could have used for this), including Mary and they all had neon halos?? Judas descended from the ceiling. the staging was kinda similar to the 2012 revival with Judas as a show-caster and entertainer. there was golden glitter falling from the ceiling.

the whole production seemed very angry at institutionalized christianity and God himself but also full of hope and love, and superstar really examplified that.

Herode is the pope. Just straight up the pope. At first I was a bit underwhelmed because the set was very minimal bit then they revealed the pope and started their amazing choreography and I really loved that! just a good solid portrayal, very sexual as well. (this production was very much about hypocricy and not about condemming lust, the opposite really. this production is pretty sex-positive) 8/10

Caiaphas and Annas were pretty solid, like all the other high priests they were cardinals. I thought the actors did a good job although would have liked a deeper base for Caiaphas and a higher tenor for Annas. I thought it was interesting how often the priests/cardinals crossed themselves and blessed people and did christian gestures, especially during "This Jesus must die". They were also pretty violent both towards the apostels and towards jesus and judas.

Peter was really giving dark academia vibes except a bit more boring. I thought it was pretty funny that it was easy to tell that he was Peter just from the costume alone. he had a nice, warm voice and I liked the acting choices - he was very soft and calm, except for when he went absolutely wild on the SWAT team coming to arrest Jesus and broke a bottle to use a shard to cut of the ear (i suppose) of one of them. iconic. 8/10

Simon: what an icon! at one point, he carries petrol and a lighter around to fucking burn the whole thing to the ground. he is passionate and kind and ready to punch someone at any time. his acting and singing were really really good. At the last supper, Simon sucker punches Judas in the face and calls him a "fucking traitor" before shakily ending the song on his guitar to try and comfort the other apostels because their whole world just fell apart. I really love this Simon

Pilate: He had such a great voice and presence, and carried himself with a lot of gravitas. Pilates dream was very stripped down but it worked because of the actor. He seemed really desillusioned and kind but ultimately deafeated, conforming to the will of people around him (lower clergy and devout catholics in this version) (That reminds me, the ouverture was accompanied by various clergy making out in the vatican with each other while headlines about scandals in the church were projected in the background.

There are probably a lot of things I forgot to mention, and there were also some things I did not like about this production but overall, I am really really impressed and just happy that I got to see it live.

You can still see the production too btw, at least if you can make it to Nuremberg :)

[graendoll]

I'm almost through season 6 of the queer EMT show and I have a couple of thoughts I really need to get off my chest.

Before I dive in I want to share an observation. It feels like there are two tiers of main ensemble cast and I'm basing this on the character development of each of them. Tier 1 feels like its Bobby, Buck and Maddie who have gone through the most dramatic character arcs, while tier 2 is Athena, Hen, and Eddie. I can't decide which group Chim is in tbh and this is hardly scientific so...

The point of all that is that everything else I'm going to say is based off my observation that Buck is more fleshed out and developed as a character than Eddie.

So now to the point!

First, Buck absolutely adores Eddie. Like is definitely 100% in love with the man. I'm only on episode 14 of season 6 so I haven't even gotten to the onscreen bi realization or the coming out scene outside of gifs on this here hell site. But currently, the way Buck looks at Eddie is so fucking heart eyed its ridiculous.

The hysteria when Eddie is in danger - the screaming at the mudslide, the absolute hard reboot at the shooting? Buck is completely beside himself at the idea of losing Eddie. He literally cries on Christopher's shoulder at the thought of losing him and Chris losing his dad.

This is not standard BFF behavior, I'm sorry.

And don't even get me started on the couch metaphor...I have too much to say about that to include it here.

But what I do want to talk about is the coma episode. Because I feel like that episode was a purposeful "no-homo" episode and here's why:

Buck is in an alternate universe and runs to Hen and Chim, sees Maddie and Bobby. But Eddie is literally just referenced once as "the angry guy" and his contribution to the entire episode is to bring Christopher to see Buck while hes unconscious. Which is weird!

Yes, Eddie rescued Buck and yes he tells the medical team to do better than their best, but compared to Buck literally hauling Eddie's limp body into an ambulance? It's a pretty vanilla response.

And then he doesn't show up in alternate Bucks reality. This is, i believe, one part writers trying to no homo the thing and one part writers implying that Eddie and Chris are a replacement for Bucks "real family" which undermines the entire guardian arc in a very weird way. So it definitely seems, during s6 at least, that Buddie was flat out not happening (again...I'm on e14 only).

So if Buck is in love with Eddie through narrative and acting choices (based on recent PR from Oliver S implying hes lowkey played Buck queer) where is Eddie at? What gives?

I'll tell you what gives.

Eddie is the most repressed motherfucker on the planet. Eddie goes to a call involving a vibrator getting stuck in a woman and he barely clocks that's what's happening.

This man has only had missionary sex for the purpose of baby making and it shows. I have definitely HC'd that Eddie is demi but he's also just locked down so tight. No wonder he spent a whole season beating the crap out of random strangers in illegal fights!

So, what's my point?

My POINT is this. Eddie may be queer underneath all that repression, but he has no idea. None. Zero. Zip. Eddie thinks he can't find a wife and mother for Christopher because he's BROKEN, not because he's maybe just not that into women.

And yes, Buck coming out might give him a clue. Tommy being gay might show him something he hasn't really seen in terms of what a gay man looks like. But that Catholic guilt ridden man has a LONG way to go before he will confess to the fact that he wifed up his bisexual BFF because of non-platonic reasons.

We'll see how the story pans out. But anyone who thinks season 7 is going to end in a Buddie romance is likely incredibly wrong. I mean I haven't seen the episodes yet. So give me a week. But it seems unlikely. Eddie's character is in a very different place than Buck.

Doesn't mean these two don't live together in marital bliss rent free in my head though 😜

[wordstome]

your brain holds so many scrumptious thoughts and ideas I absolutely adore reading anything you have to say.

that being said, König and his relationship to god and religion, discuss plz

hold for a second.

I'm standing outside your house with a baseball bat, because what do you MEANNNNNN dumb shit. I won't have you speak that way about these ideas that I like so much!!!

Alright then rolls sleeves let's get into it.

To be totally honest with you, Alexander (my König) just doesn't really think about religion at all. He grew up Catholic, but his family was never really that devout, so to him being Catholic is just something he puts down when forms ask him for religious affiliation. However, since I love some good religious guilt in my men, let's crank his Catholicism up to max.

...sorry, I got distracted by the idea of König in a preacher's collar. Can you imagine a little König in a Catholic schoolboy uniform? Ahhhhhhhhh the aesthetic of Catholicism. So much better than the actual religion. Anyway, do you remember that post "this character believes himself abandoned by God?" I think that's the essence of König's relationship with God. I don't know if you guys remember, but being a kid/teen SUCKS, y'all. I can easily see König going through childhood bullying and adopting a "if God exists, he will have to answer to me" attitude. Later in life I can absolutely see this merging with his anxiety coping mechanism, which is his emphasized confidence and arrogance. I don't think he develops a god complex necessarily, but something adjacent to it. It's actually quite well described in @kaiasdevotion's fic Break My Mind, specifically in chapter 6:

"Frankly, it makes no sense to him. He's killed many, butchered plenty, and murdered countless. Most die quietly, and some die bravely. One bunch dies with honor, a fucking joke of duty they pretend to hold onto. The other bunch, however, dies praying. To a god, to a higher power, to whoever strained voices can reach. But why? Why ask for mercy? Who are you asking? God? But it's him that's holding the weapon, is it not? Is it not König who has burning metal pushed down a bleeding tongue?"

(Kaia, you're brilliant.)

König definitely thinks faith is wasted on God, but true to his upbringing and his anxiety, he has a bad, bad, sense of Catholic guilt. If he felt like a dirty old pervert jerking off to your panties before, he feels even worse about it when his Catholic guilt kicks in. He's kind of absorbed a lot of those ideals about purity and sin, but rather than him caring about his own immortal soul or whatever (he's already done enough shit to constitute being sent to hell, and honestly, sometimes he thinks he's already in hell, so who gives a shit?) he worries about tainting you. As if his own existence in proximity to yours, his unquenchable hunger for your touch will corrupt your very being. He definitely beats himself up for that, but he's also got that demon in him, so it's certainly not going to stop him if you reciprocate.

And speaking of you, I can very easily see König doing the whole Hozier thing where his lover becomes his god. He will worship you, pray to you, and devote his life to you if you let him. The Take Me to Church parallels are obvious: "The only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you [...] I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies // I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife // Offer me that deathless death // good God let me give you my life" I think König eventually detaches sinfulness from sexuality, and in fact associates it with virtue. The act of pleasuring his partner is like worship. And it’s a lot more fun than Mass, that’s for sure.

That serves as our segue into Foreigner’s God. Especially observant OGs may have noticed that I used some lyrics from Foreigner’s God as the title of a chapter of Shrike, because it just fit so well. But Foreigner’s God is sooo König (honestly reminds me of @kneelingshadowsalome Fatum Nos Iungebit König)

“She moved with shameless wonder // The perfect creature rarely seen” is just the way König thinks of his lover, very reverent. “Wondering who I copy // Mustering some tender charm” I do think König can and does learn to be charming, but it’s definitely something he learns with age and experience, and it’s still easy for him to be caught off guard and become awkward again when talking to a lady. This is kind of emblematic of his insecurities regarding the way he talks to people.

“She feels no control of her body // She feels no safety in my arms” You could take this line down a very dark yandere path, but for a softer König I tend to interpret it as projecting his own anxiety onto his lover: he’s always going to be some big, (sometimes far older) pervert who doesn’t know how to act or put them at ease with words. He worries that when his lover is with him, it’s always because he’s forced them in some way, and they don’t truly like him or feel safe with him.

“I've no language left to say it // But all I do is quake to her // Breaking if I try convey it // The broken love I make to her” sort of a continuation of both of the above. He finds himself awkward and stoic and not charming at all, but he loves his partner, and he thinks the easiest way for him to convey that is making love to them. Which admittedly he tends to be good at, if not with experience then sheer dedication (his size doesn’t hurt of course).

“Screaming the name of a foreigner’s god” While of course this works for a lover who isn’t Austrian/doesn’t speak German, I think König has definitely felt like a perpetual foreigner, othered by society at several points in his life. His lover is his god. He may be unworthy of them, but he will always be devoted. That’s his own sort of religious fanaticism. It’s like this quote by John Keats, which serves as my tl;dr for this entire post tbh:

“I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for their religion—

I have shuddered at it,

I shudder no more.

I could be martyred for my religion.

Love is my religion

and I could die for that.

I could die for you.”

and that’s Königcore as hell.

[armandauntie]

I am so intrigued to hear all your thoughts on Armand as a lapsed Muslim hello 👀 as, like, a semi-lapsed Muslim myself I have so many thoughts on what Islam looks like for Armand and I’d love to hear your version if you’re willing to share!

(disclaimer, I am in no way an authority on Islam, especially how Islam is practiced outside my specific Shaami/Egyptian community. this is just my interpretation based on my personal experience. i can also not emphasize enough how lapsed I am, I have forgotten 90% of the sunnahs)

aaaaaaggh thank you I am so grateful for your ask!! I will have to dig around and find the source but I love the take I saw either her or on twitter that Armand has been alienated from his own culture because his culture no longer exists (both because of the fall and semi-erasure of the civilization in which he was raised and because his trauma and unwillingness to acknowledge any part of himself that existed before Marius), as well as Assad's (I think it was Assad, could have also been Rolin Jones) insights that Armand code-switches like crazy both in culture and in attitude for the sake of his survival. It resonated with me as an experience that so many immigrants and Muslims have had and really grounded his character in reality, despite the fact that he's a five-century old vampire which might be hard to relate to.

Taking that along with his specifically non-Arabic recitation of the Asr prayer (him saying 'asr namozi' instead of salat al-asr, although wikipedia is telling me that namozi is specific to uzbekistan which could be intentional or just a script error) meant to me that his observation of Islam was a personal choice that he has kept up over the course of his long, long life rather than just a front intended to sell his performance as Rashid. Now, this could be untrue, because I have no idea how much intention the show-writers put into that single moment (or when he has Malik try to reach the mosque before sundown, which although very warped, is also pretty Muslim) buuuut I would like to believe that it's true and that Islam, in whatever form he learned and internalized it over his life, is something he genuinely practices.

OKAY NOW ACTUALLY GETTING TO HOW I VIEW HIS BELIEFS OR AT LEAST WANT TO VIEW THEM, I see Armand's practice of Islam both as a cultural ritual that gives him normalcy and comfort, which he mentions as something very important to him during his days leading the Paris coven, as well as a very personal and maybe not fully realized version of reckoning with his own existence. When he's discussing the idea of evil with Louis in Paris (in episode 2.3 I believe), he counters Louis very Catholic view of killing as a single, unforgivable sin that catapults one into hell, with a view of evil as a gradient (interestingly, this is a direct quote from the book, which posits Armand more as a very Cristian-influenced atheist), but the idea of gradiation in evil is something that reminds me so much of the concept of haram in Islam and how many Muslims in my community believe of it (the halal-haram ratio, if you will). Doing good deeds, showing your devotion to Allah/God through recitation, donation, etc., are all important and worthwhile even if you also also commit acts that are haram, whether that's drinking alcohol, blaspheming, committing aldultery, and in Armand's case, a ton of murder. I see this echoed in how my famiily practices, how myself and my gay friends practice, and even how Muslim characters are portrayed in literature like the Palace Walk series by Naguib Mahfouz. It also especially echoed how I and other gay Muslim people feel as an irrifutable part of ourselves is viewed as inherantly haram, and specifically how we reconsile that with ourselves and our faith. I personally don't see my homosexuality as a sin, but that took a long time for me to come to terms with, and a lot of gay Muslims still view their own sexuality as haram, and process that alongside their faith.

I also think that debate and introspection is a central tennant in Islam, which you can see through masjids becoming the worlds' first universities, as well as through how masjids make time for discussion and questioning during Jummah. The fact that Armand and Louis bond over debates of faith felt extremely Muslim to me.

Although it's very likely not Quranic in nature, the balance of belief and ritual with acts of 'sin' is extremely Muslim to me, and that is exactly what Armand does. The way I interpret it, it's the only way he can live with himself, with his horrific trauma and guilt. Catholicism (a religion I was also raised with), is very all-or-nothing, and that's a source of Louis' trauma. Some versions of Islam are also like that, but so many are not.

Part of the reason I have this account is because I love to highlight the beauty and the thoughtfulness of Islam, because it is so rare for any Western media to show. It's demoralizing and infuriating to only see Muslim people as either terrorists or victims, and it's a big part of the reason I latched on so much to Armand in the show.

Okay that turned into a massive essay, so apologies for that, and I'm also sure there are a million points I'm forgetting. If you (or others) have any points that you also want to bring up, please feel free! This topic brings me so much joy.

[marypsue]

I'm very, very close to finished drafting Blood Will Out (I've gotten to the big evil third act reveal I was so excited about!) and unfortunately, it looks like this scene isn't going to fit anywhere into the finished fic. But. I love it. So here you go.

(Some of the exchange in this scene was inspired by a tumblr post, which I unfortunately now cannot find. If you know which one, drop me a link and I'll add it to this post.)

...

There are hushed voices coming from the nave. Two, it sounds like, having a furious whispered argument.

And…splashing.

The argument doesn’t stop when Father Mackenzie steps out of the office and starts down the rows of pews, only grows louder. He doesn’t think either of the teenaged girls bent over the font by the door have noticed him yet.

“- nothing saying they can’t get in here! Especially not if you can.”

“Maybe not, but it’s gotta be more defensible than the motel room. At least there are more places to hide. I don’t even know if they need to be invited in, if the rooms are -”

“They don’t need to be invited anywhere, it just renders you powerless against them if you do. Edgar said -”

“Jamie, no offense, but I’m taking everything ‘Edgar says’ with a big, heaping bucketful of salt -”

“Can I help you ladies?”

The argument stops dead, mid-word. The two girls twist around to look at Father Mackenzie and freeze in place, blinking at him like deer in headlights.

The redheaded one recovers first, nudging the brunette in the side with her elbow. “Let me do the talking.”

“Jamie, you’re the one who can actually touch -”

“Good evening, Father!” the redhead all but shouts, with a big step forward in front of the font, drowning out whatever point her partner in crime was trying to make. “So sorry to disturb you, we didn’t realise anybody was here.”

“I can see that.” Father Mackenzie looks from the dripping water pistol the redhead hastily tucks behind her back, over her shoulder to her partner in crime, who seems to be trying to fill a plastic bottle of water without actually submerging it in the font, her fingers dancing at the surface like it’s hot. “You know, if what you need is to have some water blessed -”

“Hey, yeah, uh, actually, I have a question about that?” the redhead says, stepping sideways into his line of sight, poorly hiding her partner in crime’s strange actions. “Church doctrine says that any water you add holy water to doesn’t dilute the holy water, but becomes sanctified itself. Right?”

Before Father Mackenzie has a chance to agree, she’s already barrelling on with her little speech. “But, because of the water cycle, if that was true, then eventually all water on Earth would have become sanctified, and every time it rained – I mean, we wouldn’t be able to drink or cook or wash without committing some kind of sin, probably. So there’s got to be a point of dilution. What’re your thoughts on that?”

It's a lot of words, delivered rapid-fire in a bright, perky voice, like a presenter on a game show. Father Mackenzie blinks at the girl, trying to bring his brain up to speed with his ears. He’s spent the last three hours staring at spreadsheets, trying to make the expenditures for the Ladies’ Auxiliary make any sense. He has a nasty suspicion that somebody’s making off like a bandit somewhere. What they’re supposedly doing with all that lumber – “Isn’t this more a sort of question for a rabbi?”

“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure Judaism doesn’t do holy water.”

There’s a hiss of indrawn breath from over by the font. “Jamie can you ask him if he has any rubber gloves -”

Father Mackenzie takes a deep breath, and offers up a silent prayer for strength. He has the sudden sense he’s going to need it. “So, you’re correct. The official position of the Catholic Church is that holy water sanctifies any water it’s added to. But – and this is just my personal opinion, my observations, which, you know, do of course officially align with the Church, but as I can see, you both understand that sometimes, we must make…practical considerations -”

“Father. Time is a factor.”

“Of course. Of course. Well. Holy water can sanctify water. Theoretically, it could also sanctify the water in a suspension, but personal experience doesn’t bear that out. Too much in the suspension that isn’t water. So, if you add holy water to…Gatorade. You don’t get holy water, or holy water with added electrolytes. You get Gatorade with some holy water in it.”

“Okay. And since the ocean is a soup -”

Father Mackenzie sighs, and embraces whatever madness this is with both arms. “Gazpacho, I believe. It’s served cold.”

“Gazpacho. That’s why the water cycle isn’t affected. Thank you, Father.”

Father Mackenzie wishes he didn’t have to ask. But, well. The redhead’s still poorly trying to conceal a water pistol full of holy water behind her back. And this is Santa Carla. “…is this about vampire hunting?”

The redhead’s huge grin freezes into a rictus. The brunette’s head snaps up, her eyes wide. A second later, she yelps, snatching her fingers away from the font and leaving the water bottle she was filling to bob gently toward the centre as she sucks the tip of each finger in turn into her mouth. And then seems to immediately regret that.

The redhead raises her voice over the quiet litany of ‘ah, ah, ow, shit, shit, shit’ coming from just behind her. “Why – haha, uh, why, Father, why would you think a silly thing like -”

Father Mackenzie lets out one last, long sigh. He’s getting too old for this shit. “If you borrow any of the silver crucifixes, just make sure they’re back by morning.”

As he turns to head back into the office, hoping against hope that someone in the Ladies’ Auxiliary is just particularly bad at embezzling and they haven’t actually started a wooden stake production line, Father Mackenzie hears the girls start whispering again.

“What a weird fucking town.”

“Tell me about it.”

[msviolacea]

Okay! Random thoughts and observations about Star Rail 2.2! Spoilers, obviously!

tl;dr - not as coherent as 2.1 was, story-wise, but SO MUCH LORE. SO MUCH. But honestly most of the below is random nonsense and shitposting.

I didn't think Xipe was the kind of god to go Catholic, but apparently they have confession? Huh.

Bravo to Hoyo writers for pulling off the "it was all a dream" gambit in a way that actually works.

I was willing to possibly buy that we were just getting a slightly disappointing easy-out right up until a) the IPC went "nah, we don't want the planet anymore" and b) Ratio and Screwllum were vaguely happy to work together. At that point, it was like "ahhhh, we're in a DREAM dream y'all."

Poor Sunday, radicalized by being an overly protective older sibling. Relatable, tbh. You know, except for the making yourself a giant supervillain mecha god. Though that's tempting some days, I won't lie.

On the other side of things, it did feel like a disappointing cop-out after spending SO MUCH TIME on his story in 2.1 to just be told "yeah, actually Aventurine just got rescued off-screen."

HOWEVER, kudos to Argenti for surfing into Penacony, immediately finding the forbidden dreamspace and rescuing an IPC ambassador, then rolling up to take 2nd place in an idol competition before fucking off to find more beauty or whatever. King shit. Bravo. Come back soon.

Speaking of the HSR husbando game, BOOTHILL. Who thinks pointing a gun in your face is a way to say hello and has a Plan C that's just "... guess we'll take hostages!" Stay forever, you insane space cowboy.

On a slightly related tangent, I loved the flashback exchange between Firefly and Blade, showing their relationship to each other as Stellaron Hunters. After all the Luofu nonsense, it's fun to see Blade as a weird older brother figure.

Another related tangent to the above: since I also watched some of the most recent Genshin patch on YT this week, shoutout to Daman Mills for having the "deep raspy voiced tragic murder hobo" to "ridiculous androgynous magician twink" range. [insert Patrick Stewart "Acting" gif here]

But back to Firefly, I think she had a nice showcase here, though I wish they'd given her more focus in the last bit instead of sorta-kinda-maybe-probably not killing her offscreen via a short Acheron speech. I assume she'll be back, given that she's dropping as a playable character next patch, but still. There was just a lot going on in this patch and not enough time to do everything they really needed to do.

However, they COULD have cut the idol competition, because that added absolutely nothing to the plot and only really existed because someone clearly went "huh, how do we fit more puzzles and trash fights here?"

We also needed more Robin. She was awesome, don't get me wrong, but again, I would have given up the stupid idol competition in favor of maybe getting more time to play her and not just Sparkle-as-Robin running around giving people ... doomsday buttons?

Speaking of which .. wtf? Like, those went NOWHERE. Maybe they're for later payoff, but given that she was explicitly telling people to use them during the concert ... it was weird.

Dan Heng: Listen my past life just cold clocked me over the head, I need time to process and not deal for a while, Imma stay out of Dream Disneyland and chill. Also Dan Heng: so, my friends are in trouble AGAIN, not like this isn't a "must be Tuesday" occurrence for the Astral Express crew, but my first instinct is to use this very important button to call the saner of my previous life's ex-boyfriends to bring an army to help.

Like, I'm CERTAINLY not complaining about the Jing Yuan cameo, even just as a dream, but that was a very quick response, Dan Heng. I see you. (PS: as long as we're giving VA shoutouts in this post, shoutout to Alejandro Saab for Jing Yuan's everything.)

Little detail I didn't catch myself, but saw someone online point out today - Welt gave the IPC the ammunition they need to take out the Dream Master. Early in the patch, he points out that the poker chip Aventurine gave us is actually a transmitter and recorder, and takes it with him to meet with Robin and Sunday and the Dream Master. At the very end, we see Aventurine playing with the chip, and Jade mentions that they obtained a recording "from your Trailblaze friend" that would help them on Penacony/with the Dream Master. So shoutout to Welt for ... well, deciding that space capitalism is preferable to crazy assholes who are trying to use innocent people to revive a god? I guess he's seen plenty of nonsense in his time, tbh, so I'm going to trust his judgement.

Speaking of Welt, Acheron's name drop was not the only Honkai Impact 3rd direct reference. It was an interesting touch for them to include Welt's "real"/original name in the credits sequences. Don't know if it's anything more than just an easter egg for HI3 folks, but still. Interesting.

Harmony Trailblazer is actually pretty strong. I'm definitely going to build mine.

All in all, I didn't enjoy this quite as much as the last patch, but it's the difference between like a 9.5/10 and an 8/10. Coherent self-contained stories mean a lot to me, but the lore and character stuff that was in this patch was A+, and I'm still digesting half of it.

[praise-suns-and-chill]

Just for reference, how I imagine "my Holmes" so far :3

Ludia "Sherlock" Holmes

While a natural redhead, she prefer wearing a wig of black hair, as it doesn't stand out as much. Her hair, one way or the other, tied in a bun. Her eyes are grey and sharp, and the dark rings below them are evidence of the many long nights she has had during cases. She also has a beauty mark below her right eye.

She may seem delicate, while of average height her features make her look smaller, but she can very much hold her own if needed. Though her strength is, of course, her sharp mind and knowledge of... nearly anything that could ever be useful. Even religion, some murders do have a religious motive, after all! It helps to know at least how to tell a catholic and a protestant Church apart.

She also knows a lot about birds, probably had some as pets before, back in her childhood. At least, she cared sometimes for carrier pigeons and also liked to observe bees and help out their beekeepers when she was out in the countryside.

Both more reliable than any human she knows, with maybe two exceptions.

On that note, she does get better along with animals than with humans. Luckily, animals don't care if you have the charm of a sack of potato's. They also tend to act more logically than humans anyways. While she is good at acting, she prefers to not take any role that requires too much charisma. Someone more subtle suits her better.

Would never wear a dress if it isn't absolutely necessary. And even then, she will only do so with obvious apprehension. Her usual clothes are simple pants, white shirt and copper waistcoat. She is not one for accessories, though she does sometimes wear earrings. She also always carries a ring she got from her brother, of course not just a normal ring. "For self defense". She also wears gloves quite often, not just because of her work, but also because her hands have some chemical burns and discolouration from her occasional experiments.

These are not her addiction though. Those are drugs of all kinds. She does sometimes justify it by noting that, in her profession, it is useful to know all kinds of poison and early on, she excused her habit with "building up a resistance, just in case". Watson didn't buy it.

Her apartment, as opposed to her more distant and calculating personality, is quite cozy, if a bit messy, her piano fitting in nicely. At least as long as you didn't ask Mrs. Hudson, who needed to hear more than once Ludias experimental playing on the piano strings. First time, she nearly thought she was hearing a Banshee screaming in the middle of the night. God knows how she tolerates it.

[queenlucythevaliant]

Why did Martin Luther reform the church?

Okay, you asked for it.

I’m going to try to do this bullet-point style for the sake of organization, because I know I invited you to ask about this, but at the same time. Man, what a question. This will be long-ish. Others, please feel free to correct me or add on if you like.

Martin Luther was not by any means the first person to observe the problems of medieval Catholicism, nor was he the first to attempt reform. John Wycliffe, Jan Hus, and others should be given their due, even if they did not set off a Reformation the way Luther did.

By God’s providence, Martin Luther and the newly-invented printing press existed in Germany at the same time. It is for that reason that he, not another, is the father of the Reformation.

Okay, so Luther. Martin Luther was the most scrupulous kind of monk, bordering on madness in his obsession with God’s holiness and his own sin. Yet after a trip to Rome in 1510, he found himself increasingly cynical about the cheap, transactive way in which he saw Christianity being practiced. Have you ever gone into a megachurch and had the horrifying realization that it had a gift shop? That feeling, but way worse.

Do you know where the magic words Hocus Pocus come from? Catholic Mass was said in Latin and the people, of course, didn’t understand a word of it. Even the clergy frequently found that learning the service rote was quicker than learning a whole new language. Thus, when the priests speaking Latin presented the bread for Communion and spoke the words Hoc est corpus meum, parishioners heard “Hocus pocus” and thought that the words themselves had some kind of power.

Luther’s experience in Rome led to a personal study of Scripture during which he found what would become the seeds of Reformed theology. It wasn’t fully formed yet, but it was definitely growing in his heart, so to speak. The bun was in the oven.

Johann Tetzel was like the P.T. Barnum of his day, or maybe a really sleazy televangelist. His job was to raise money for the Pope’s new basilica by selling indulgences. This involved ad jingles (“♫When the coin in the coffer rings, the soul from purgatory springs ♫”), overwrought sermons (“Can’t you hear the voices of your wailing dead PARENTS?????”) and even haggling over price.

Luther was not okay with this.

You can read the Ninety-five Theses here in their entirety. It’s a short read; each point is about one sentence long. It builds an argument against the way indulgences were being sold and it's s a great bit of argumentative writing, even putting aside the historical and theological importance. You should totally read the whole thing if you’re at all interested. However, I will pull some highlights here:

1. When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, ``Repent'' (Mt 4:17), he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.

37. Any true Christian, whether living or dead, participates in all the blessings of Christ and the church; and this is granted him by God, even without indulgence letters.

49. Christians are to be taught that papal indulgences are useful only if they do not put their trust in them, but very harmful if they lose their fear of God because of them.

62-64. The true treasure of the church is the most holy gospel of the glory and grace of God. But this treasure is naturally most odious, for it makes the first to be last (Mt. 20:16). On the other hand, the treasure of indulgences is naturally most acceptable, for it makes the last to be first.

94-95. Christians should be exhorted to be diligent in following Christ, their Head, through penalties, death and hell. And thus be confident of entering into heaven through many tribulations rather than through the false security of peace (Acts 14:22).

It’s important to note that Luther posted the Ninety-five Theses on the church door of Wittenberg in an effort to be a good Catholic. This was not originally an act of protest; it was a civilized list of topics for discussion written in Latin. And, honestly, while the Theses did cause a stir, they absolutely could have blown over pretty quickly had Luther not, in writing them, basically been led head-first into a completely different understanding of Christianity.

To quote the man himself, “God led me into this business against my will and without my knowledge.”

What a mood, honestly.

Johann Tetzel was understandably ticked off that Luther had made him and his line of work out to be so sleazy. (I mean they were, but like...) He ran his little temper-tantrum up to his superiors, which through a long series of Church Politics, ended up with Luther famously debating Johann Eck in 1519.

Eck was a kind of a slippery debater, but he actually did the Reformation a big favor in the long run. He succeeded in expanding the issue from “Is the whole indulgences situation chill or not?” to “Who has the final authority: the Bible or the Pope?”

Luther said, “The Bible, duh.”

The Pope got a little mad at Martin Luther. However, for the moment, it still wasn’t a super big deal. Luther was just one guy, after all.

More importantly, the fact that the question of Papal authority was raised also got Luther thinking, “hey, that’s right! This whole Pope situation is kind of BS, isn’t it?”

Around two years after posting the Ninety-five Theses, Luther finally had something like what we might call Reformed theology. It was missing a bunch of stuff, but the important stuff was there. God doesn’t want us to be perfect, He wants us to trust Him. Sola fide. Sola gratia. Solus Christus. Sola Scriptura. Soli Deo gloria.

Naturally, Luther started writing a bunch of stuff.

A whole, whole bunch of stuff.

He got away with it for a while! But after a while, enough was enough and the famous papal bull excommunicating Martin Luther from the Catholic Church was issued.

Luther burned the papal bull and wrote a response: Against the Execrable Bull of Antichrist.

(Just a reminder that the Martin Luther Insult Generator exists and it’s awesome)

Luther got summoned to the Diet of Worms to stand trial. He faced down the HRE, the pope, burning at the stake, and the prospect of hell if he was wrong. “Here I stand. I can do no other.” He refused to recant.

I wish I could go on to talk about the rest of Luther’s life, about Zwingli and Calvin, Bucer, Knox, Cranmer, Cromwell, Chemnitz, and so many others. I wish I could talk about the extraordinary courage of the ordinary people who became martyrs of the Reformation. People who staked everything—their careers, their families, their very lives—on the fact that in the Reformation, the very soul of the Gospel was at stake.

In conclusion, Martin Luther was a badass and the Protestant lineage of which we are a part is absolutely glorious.  

Fun fact: on the way back home from the Diet of Worms, Luther staged his own kidnapping

[gascon-en-exil]

What do you think of No Nut November, like, as a concept?

Hm. I've always been mildly amused by it. Allow me to elaborate.

The Catholic Church, unlike most other Christian denominations as far as I'm aware, explicitly teaches that masturbation is a sin rather than just vaguely frowning upon it but never making it into a major issue. Catholics are called to be chaste in all ways outside of marriage, and it is my anecdotal observation, particularly from having gone to a boys' school, that telling teenage boys that God doesn't like it when you jack off is one of the quickest ways to produce so-called "cafeteria" Catholics who might go to Mass on major feast days (and funny that I should get this on a holy day of obligation: Toussaint or the Feast of All Saints) and who might have a crucifix or a rosary somewhere in their house but who are functionally atheists otherwise. That could of course be my own cultural bias speaking, because Catholic culture actually varies significantly by location and sometimes by ethnicity; I do know of at least two guys who developed the stereotypical Catholic guilt complexes surrounding masturbation, although I believe even they outgrew that in university. Nevertheless, I do think that as a result some Catholics seem to have a healthier relationship to masturbation and to religion than many Protestants - because we were told from adolescence not to jerk off, realized that that prohibition is unfeasible and frankly rather silly, and then concluded that we can still be Catholics even if we don't care about everything the Church says or stands for.

In that light I just kind of have to laugh at No Nut November, or related things like those weird incel communities that believe that not masturbating makes them smarter or something. These are people, very likely from a majority Protestant background (as the English-speaking world generally is), trying to recreate the Catholic Church's codified call to chastity even though Protestants, theoretically, stand in opposition to things like that. It's all basically the same - an expectation that you'll earn yourself some intangible reward like Heaven/Purgatory or better health or greater productivity through self-denial.

I've personally never felt inclined to participate, unsurprisingly. I've known men who'll claim that they hold off on jacking off for several days prior to sex to make their loads bigger and more satisfying for them (and possibly their partner(s) - once it's in or on me I can hardly tell the difference), but that has never been a concern of mine when I very rarely orgasm during sex anyway. I also consider masturbation a useful long-distance networking tool via sexting and webcam sex, so I reject the idea that jacking off is a fundamentally selfish, isolating act.

[egcarlos]

Doctors Without Borders

“Why would I want to see the world any other way than the way it is?” - The Imperfect Offering

James Orbinski, Canadian Physician, Doctors Without Borders President 1998-2001 There’s this book that I have read and reread several times in my adult life called The Imperfect Offering by James Orbinski. It is a highly intense book that gives a grave and often graphic account of his time in Rwanda during the genocide that took place between the main tribes, Hutu and Tutsi. The history between the tribes is very complicated and goes all the way back to the colonist rule by mostly Belgium. Tribal fighting is never as simple as we like to think. Politics, colonialism and pinning one tribe over the other by the colonists are just three out of a plethora of reasons why fighting and ultimately acts of genocide occurs.

Beyond that, he gives little hints and insights on to what drove him to a career in medicine; that includes his immigration from England to Canada, to his spiritual and mostly Catholic upbringing and to his questions about suffering, it’s existence and what he can do about it.

There’s this line in the book that comes up at a very crucial time after Orbinski returns from Rwanda back to Canada. In the paragraphs before, he discusses hints of PTSD that has eroded his mind from the inhumanity that he observed from his time in Rwanda. He talked about his meeting with his spiritual advisor, Benedict and how he also spent time in counseling talking through his experience. And then, after all that he drops this quote, Why would I want to see the world any other way than the way it is?

That line in the book has stuck with me ever since I first read it back in 2015. I love that quote so much that I placed it as a signature in the bottom of all of my emails. There is something so deep and profound to me after hearing that quote, because it gets me asking, why would I not want to see the world any other way than the way it is? I can see how easily I can live my life in a bubble; in pure, utter ignorance to the plight and struggles of the world. I could choose not to turn on the news or radio to hear about the disaster happening in Palestine. I could choose to not think about the suffering of this world and not wonder about how in the world did I get so lucky just to be able to eat, breathe and live. I could choose to continue to avoid unnecessary inconveniences and suffering for myself and live my life with comfort. But that quote, Why would I want to see the world any other way than the way it is? It hits so hard and so deep. The quote above makes me want to see suffering, it makes me want to feel suffering. It makes me want to feel the truth. Because really, at the end, the truth is that we live in a beautiful world that is suffering greatly. Despite all the good that is out there, despite the art, the beauty, the music, the altruism that I know deep in my heart that exists in our world also lies so much pain, so much suffering and so much unnecessary sadness. So many lives go unlived. So many potentials, goals and dreams go unnoticed or realized. Why would I want to see the world in any other way? --- In less than 2 weeks, I will be on a plane for my second project with Doctors Without Borders. I have no idea what to expect. I don’t really know exactly how I feel at the moment because the next few weeks will be busy filled with last minute things that need to be done and a lot of tennis (trying to squeeze in all the tennis that I can before I leave). I have a family who has always supported me to do the crazy things that I choose to do and a wife who understands the importance of not only dreams/goals, but the importance of Dharma and believes in me and my duties in this life. Last, but not least, it is going to be the hardest thing leaving my baby boy. He is 17 months now and he will be almost 2 years old when I get back. I don’t even want to think about not being able to see his smiling face in the mornings and kissing him before he goes to bed at night. Why would I want to see the world in any other way than the way it is? Most importantly is that I am just so lucky. I have been incredibly lucky to have the life that I have right now; to be able to breath, eat and live; the be able to laugh, love and play; to be able to grow, learn and suffer. There’s this obligation somewhere that I don’t really understand. Some people may call it an obligation to maybe God, or the universe, or to just something bigger than myself. I’ve just been given so much good in my life that I have to keep finding ways to keep giving it back.

[grandhotelabyss]

Thoughts on Fosse? I had to look him up, but apparently he's principally a dramatist and frequently compared to Ibsen. What's with the craze for all these mild-mannered, stylistically restrained Norwegians?

I think he got the Nobel on the strength of his novel, Septology. A summary from the laudatory New York Times review:

“Septology” is narrated by Asle (also a Catholic convert), a widowed painter living outside a coastal village in Norway. The action transpires over the course of a few memory- and prayer-filled days around Christmas, while he’s working on a painting of a purple line and a brown line intersecting to form an X, which he likens to the cross of St. Andrew. Asle is visited only by his neighbor, Asleik, a salty and chatty fisherman who’s always inviting him to dinner at his sister’s. He drives to the nearby town, to check on his namesake and doppelgänger, another painter named Asle. The latter is gravely ill, hospitalized because of alcoholism, and the narrator Asle is taking care of his dog, Bragi. The climactic (outward) event of the seven novels is a boat ride Asle takes with the dog and the neighbor, to attend Christmas dinner at Asleik’s sister’s house. He dies in the spare bedroom before they eat her specialty, smoked lamb ribs.

The seven-novel sequence, nearly 800 pages, is narrated in a stream of consciousness with no sentence breaks, and the namesake-doppelgänger story line is never definitively established as an extended speculative exercise or an astounding coincidence (or taciturn act of autofiction). Each novel begins, midthought, the same way, with Asle reflecting on how to finish his painting of the St. Andrew cross; each one ends the same way, mid-Latin prayer, at least until something else happens in the final book.

Fosse said, and to an interviewer who claimed that his work made her feel the presence of God on earth:

I had a kind of religious turn in my life that had to do with entering this unknown. I was an atheist, but I couldn’t explain what happened when I wrote, what made it happen. Where does it come from? I couldn’t answer it. You can always explain the brain in a scientific way, but you can’t catch the light, or the spirit, of it. It’s something else. Literature in itself knows more than the theory of literature knows.

I am sympathetic to this. Carve that last sentence on the lintel of the English department. I can't comment on his work because I haven't read him. His vogue in the Anglosphere seems to be part of the depoliticizaton of culture I've already observed several times—a healthy impulse. Yet, if I'm being ungenerous, Septology doesn't sound like my type of thing. Another reviewer mentions "the art of tedium."

I remember sitting in a very strange graduate class called Discourse of the Novel over 15 years ago as the professor, a famously erratic, perhaps even unwell, and yet formidably learned man of deconstructive intellectual tendencies, improvised a distinction I had never encountered before and have never encountered again between two types of novelists, or maybe writers in general. There is the writer of the "semanticon," interested in words, principally nouns, i.e., the things of this world, on the one hand; and, on the other hand, the writer of the "syntacticon," interested not in things but in the grammar of forms and ideas. Joyce vs. Beckett, I think he offered as examples; we read Beckett's Company in the class ("A voice comes to one in the dark"), but nothing by Joyce, announcing his allegiance to the syntacticon. Despite my reputation for deploying overstated binaries, I'm not sure this is a very persuasive one; I just like the two words. But, if I absolutely had to choose, I would be more allegiant to the semanticon myself, as I am more attracted to Joyce than I am to Beckett. If I were going to write an artfully tedious 800-page religious testament of an experimental late modernist novel, it wouldn't be one long sentence full of repetitions; it would be no sentence at all, just a list, a litany, of words, with no two repeated: semanticon, syntacticon.

[bond-servant-of-christ-jesus]

ASH WEDNESDAY

Knowing today is Ash Wednesday, it's a soulwinning opportunity for people. However some people are really just plain stubborn to the truth. The problem of Ash Wednesday for Roman Catholics is that they think the priest absolves their sins in the process. I remembered how I openly opposed Ash Wednesday not only by refusing to receive the mark but also eating meat on that day in a public area. Like Zwingli, I celebrated the liberty I had in Christ. I can do anything I please as long as I do not indulge in sin and vice (which I can no longer do because God's grace equips men unto good works). The liberty of Christ grants me the freedom not to be bound to the silly traditions of men and do good works because of my new desires.

I have noticed more often times than not is how many people use Lent as show business. More of then than not, I have seen how Roman Catholicism has used Lent as a season for hypocrisy. I have observed how a mean person can then pretend to have changed during Lent. They pretend to turn a new leaf. You can see them prayerful during the Lenten season. They will do acts of kindness for all to see. By following the burden of mandatory abstinence of meat, they try to impress everyone of how "godly" they are. They say that their sins were washed out by the Ash Mark. Yet some of them show how degenerate they are even on that day.

How is Ash Wednesday also show business? Like Ahab's sackcloth and ashes, it's for all to see as an act, not as a result of inward repentance. The cross mark made from ash might be their way of telling everyone, "Look, I'm fasting." The Bible does not tell of when to fast, man chooses when to fast as a spiritual discipline. The Bible also commands this for fasting in Matthew 6:16 not to make it a huge public deal when you are fasting. That is, don't announce it when you are fasting unless somebody invites you for an eat out. Many try to look penitent just so to get the praises of men. I guess that's what they only care about considering Roman Catholicism is very focused on manmade tradition against basing their traditions on the Scripture alone.

As a former Roman Catholic, nothing really surprises me when it comes to the hypocrisy a lot of people have during Lent. Whenever it's Lent, it's time to do good. However when Lent is over, they all return back to their sins and vices. Repentance of sin is not just on Lent or any Roman Catholic ordained feast day, rather it is a DAILY PROCESS. There is no "mortal sin" and "venial" sin either as when you break even one of God's laws, you break them all (Romans 3:23, James 2:10-11). The experience was just similar to how Martin Luther was told not to return to the confessional until he committed a bigger sin. All these led Luther to realize that even the minutest of sins was highly offensive to a holy and righteous God.

This also differentiates a good work from a dead work. A Roman Catholic apologist once said, "Well atheists also do good works." It's good works from the human perspective but it is not good. Charles Haddon Spurgeon said,"It is not enough to do the correct thing, it must be done in a right spirit, and with a pure motive. A good action is not wholly good unless it be done for the glory of God, and because of the greatness and goodness of his holy name." They do these acts of goodness but they are dead works. Why do I say it is dead works? Because their motive is not pure, it is only out of trying to bribe God to accept them, it is based on self-merit and in the reality, not for God's glory. Meanwhile, the Christian's good works are the necessary fruit not root of salvation. That is, Christians do good works not as a burden but as a delight because they want to please God (Titus 2:11-14).

[wolfofartblock]

Bear with me.

What if Desmond got hired at a bar even though he had no experience and no identity, because it turned out to be a mob bar and him being on the run just meant they had leverage over him.

Only Desmond isn't always that observant so it took him way longer to figure that out than it would have taken any reasonable person.

Until he walks in on something he shouldn't have seen. Not something unforgivable, just like. A guy cleaning a very large and bloody knife in the sink, along with his hands, stripped down to the waist with his bloody shirt hanging off the edge.

He looks up, spots Desmond. Desmond freezes. The guy's grip on the knife shifts. Desmond bolts.

Cue a protracted chase sequence through the city streets, with Desmond occasionally pushing his way through various shops to try to lose the trail, until he somehow ends up in a small catholic church and in a very ill thought out move ducks into a confession booth.

He breathes as quiet as he can, heart pounding. There's commotion outside, but no one comes in. And just when Desmond's ready to let out a sigh of relief, there's the creaking of wood, and then someone on the other side of the lattice paneling.

"How long has it been since your last confession?"

Desmond gapes, shocked. Then blurts out, "I think my work is a front for the mob and now they want to kill me."

There's a long pause from the other side. "Maybe you should start from the beginning."

HOW did I miss this ask!!!!

But lol Alex on the other side half-way through Desmond's explanation (I've always wanted to use that priest meme)

Anyways Desmond keeps coming back to the church and doesn't understand why. He also thinks the priest is pretty weird, but maybe that's because he wasn't raised in any kind of religious setting.

-Alex's shadow moving when he isn't and generally acting strangely (Hm, must be the candle lights flickering)

-All the crosses are covered

-Sometimes Alex's eyes change color (But again, maybe it's the lighting in here)

-He's come back to the church enough times to notice that Alex doesn't give advice to church-goers like he expects. He encourages being spiteful, violent, deception and a lot of other things in the most subtle of ways

-He always knows the second Desmond walks into the building and appearing out of nowhere (and wow, he's such an attentive priest, how kind)

Kinda liking the idea of Alex being able to read his thoughts, seeing him noticing every. single. abnormality and brushing each one off with some bs explanation behind it and going "no wonder the mob had him for so long. He has all the information and draws the wrong conclusions"

Slight nsfw under cut >.> (rough sketch)

Couldn't figure out a good way to do a scene of them in the confessional but I couldn't figure out a good position + angle for them so I gave up v.v

[viola-halogen]

My BBC Ghosts vampire au finally sees the light of day! (no pun intended)

About the world

This AU is heavily influenced by What We Do In The Shadows and includes some of the same things like energy vampires

Most common vampire lore applies

They feed on human blood, however if they don’t feed they won’t die, they’ll just slip into a state of hibernation which they can’t be woken from unless given blood to drink

Vampires can tell when their sire (the vampire that turned them) is hurt or in danger. They’re also incapable of physically harming their sire.

All vampires have a natural instinct to turn those they feed on which they have to learn to control

There are different “generations” of vampires. 1st generation vampires are the original vampires, 2nd generation vampires were turned by 1st generation vampires, 3rd generation vampires were turned by 2nd generation and so on

Vampire’s powers get weaker the further they are from 1st generation (they also tend to get stronger the longer they live) this affects things like how good they are at hypnosis as well as their physical speed and strength. However the older and stronger a vampire is the less resistant they are to sunlight, religious items, etc.

Robin

He’s one of the 1st generation vampires, possibly the oldest one still alive

After he was first turned he killed and ate some of the members of his tribe because he was starving and didn’t understand what he’d become. His people were horrified so they banished him from the tribe

He travelled for a while and spent years figuring out exactly what he’d become (he has loads of burn scars from before he worked out that he couldn’t walk in the sun)

Eventually he settled on the land that eventually became Button House, it had a nice empty cave where he could sleep during the daytime, and plenty of nice woodland to explore as well as a human settlement pretty close by for food

As of the present day he’s now the head of the Button House vampire household, he lays down most of the rules and is responsible for making sure the others behave (he usually does this by physically fighting anyone who doesn’t)

Most of the time he just acts like the chaotic idiot that he is, but he also has a very strong sense of loyalty to his household and if anyone hurts or threatens any of his fledglings he becomes the most terrifying creature you’ve ever seen

He doesn’t use his powers very often so most of the other vampires have no idea just how powerful he really is, but every so often they get enough of a glimpse to have a healthy amount of fear of him

He still dresses in furs like he did when he was alive and observes all the rituals and cultural things from his time (that he remembers) but he also has a fascination with the modern world and likes collecting modern things and learning all about what humans are up to these days. His greatest aspiration is to go to space one day

The plague ghosts

They’re all Robin’s victims from before he learned to control his urge to turn people into vampires (once he’d learnt how he taught all of them as well and now makes sure to teach any new vampires as quickly as possible)

They used to sleep in his cave with him and follow him on hunts and were basically like his family

They’re now stuck in the basement of the house since Mary accidentally put a curse on them making them unable to leave it

The others bring them food and visit them, although they aren’t particularly fond of any of them apart from Robin, who they still see as their leader, and Humphrey, who was part of the family before they got trapped

They’ve forgiven Mary for cursing them but she’s still terrified of them hating her so she never goes into the basement

Humphrey

The house was built by his ancestor, Edmund Bone, who ignored the villagers’ warnings about demons living on the land, and even when his servants started going missing and turning up in the woods with all their blood drained refused to move out

Humphrey’s marriage to Sophie and the Catholic plot happened exactly the same, but when hiding from the Queen’s guards instead of accidentally beheading himself Humphrey fell on his own sword and died

Sophie had known about the vampires living in the woods for years without ever letting on, so after the guards had left she snuck back in and took Humphrey’s body to Robin and begged him to make Humphrey into a vampire. She knew she would have to go into hiding or leave the country, but she couldn’t leave Humphrey to die when she had a chance to save his life

Robin turned him at Sophie’s request and then took him under his wing, teaching him the ways of being a vampire, and he became the newest member of the family

He has a massive stab wound in his chest from where he fell on his own sword but it doesn’t bleed at all since all his blood was drained when he was turned, and he usually wears clothes that cover it

After he was turned Robin bought the house back from the state so they could all finally move out of their cave and have somewhere nicer to live

Humphrey was also cursed by Mary, his curse is that every time he does anything ever something unfortunate will happen to him as a result (think Laszlo’s cursed hat but the curse is attached to a person instead)

He’s actually very powerful as a 2nd generation vampire but because of the curse he never uses his powers as he’s too afraid of what might happen

Mary

She was a witch who lived in the nearby village and used her abilities to heal and help people out

She knew of the existence of vampires and was good friends with the vampire household

One day a witchfinder came to the village and found her out and tried to have her burned at the stake for witchcraft

At the time the vampires were pretending to be wealthy landowners who had bought the house and the village didn’t have anywhere secure enough, so Mary was put into their custody to wait for her trial

Robin wasn’t willing to let the villagers kill Mary so he asked the others to stand and fight with him, but Humphrey was the only one willing to, so the others went to hide in the basement until it was over

When the villagers arrived Robin and Humphrey attacked them and, realising that they were vampires, they started to fight back

Seeing Robin hurt gave Mary hysterical strength and she unleashed a huge spell, killing half the villagers and cursing Humphrey and those in the basement. Robin was able to withstand the curse because of his incredible strength. After that happened all the surviving villagers gave up and ran away

After that Mary knew she could never go back to the village, so Robin invited her to stay in the house with them and become an honorary member of the vampire household

She’s now immortal because she accidentally consumed the life forces of all the villagers she killed

She was also very traumatised by the whole thing (and the torture she went through before being given into Robin and Humphrey’s custody) to the point where she rarely ever uses her magic anymore

She has a cow for a familiar which lives in the gardens of the house, but at this point it’s basically more of a therapy animal to her

Jemima

She is a witch who was cursed to permanently have the appearance of an eleven year old girl

Before Mary’s witch trial Jemima was her apprentice, when she realised the witch hunters were coming she told Jemima to run away and stayed behind to hold them off so she could escape

Jemima went to another village and found a new master and when she was a fully fledged witch she returned to wreak vengeance on those who had come to kill Mary, but when she got there she discovered the vampires and that Mary was still alive

She and Mary stayed in contact from then on and Jemima helps Mary out with things she struggles to do, like going to the supermarket (it’s too loud and busy for her)

She has a successful business selling spells and potions to all denizens of the underworld

Kitty

During her lifetime Robin became very interested in being a part of society and started hosting balls and parties at the house (under the alias of Lord Robert Bone, the descendant of THAT Humphrey Bone)

Kitty and her family lived in a manor house a few miles away and were acquaintances of the Bone family

Kitty and Eleanor were always kind of terrified of the house and thought it was really creepy, although their mother and father were totally oblivious to all the weirdness

Kitty’s home life was the same as in canon with her mother’s death, Eleanor being a piece of shit and her father not doing anything about it

Some time after Kitty and Eleanor came of age they were allowed to attend their first ball as adult women, at Bone Manor

They found it was actually kind of boring and ended up sneaking off together to look around the house, and Eleanor (in an attempt to scare Kitty and also to get rid of her for a bit) dared her to go into the creepy off-limits basement

She went into the basement and the plague ghosts, who didn’t know about the ball, assumed she was food the others had brought them and killed her and drank her blood

She was found eventually by her family and the other vampires and, on realising their mistake, one of them turned Kitty into a vampire

Eleanor and her father were horrified so Robin had to hypnotise them both and wipe their memories, but because of his panic and his incredible strength he ended up giving them both the brain scramblies

Soon after they sold their house and moved out of the area, and were never heard from again

Once Kitty got over her initial terror and the loss of her family she found it was actually quite fun being a vampire and took to her new life pretty quickly, even admitting that she was much happier with her new family than her old one

Part 1 of 2

| Part 2 |

[akibluna]

Ok been trying to get into dragon magic. I was recommended this book as a basis of draconic magic. I finished it today. Do I recommend it? Hnnnmngggghh maaaaybeeeee???? I stuck with it the best I could despite some obvious cultural and lore inaccuracies but I ended skipping a lot of the ritual work, all of it. I recently learned why Conway isn't really respected in the witch community and... I totally get it.

I don't enjoy dunking on things recommended to me especially since there aren't a lot of dragon magic books out there. I kept in mind who the author is and at what time this was written. It was published in 1994 so I tried my best to keep by opinions to the side because of the time and person it was written by. I have my own draconic teacher and the amount of times he corrected something was at least once every chapter but that's my own experience. Of you read the book yourself you can obviously make your own observations.

But generally speaking this book is under HEAVY assumption that you are Wiccan and it comes across as witchcraft = wiccan practice. We all know it's not. Shit, I'm Catholic and sometimes it felt like I wasn't welcome to read this book because of a lot of anti-christian sentiment in here. (Yes I know. Christianity is the reason why the craft is demonized but I don't think it's right to have a personal vendetta against people who are Christian and it comes off as that sometimes. As a Catholic witch I think it's safe for me to say not all of us demonize the craft).

Lore wise there is definitely things taken out of context and misinformation. A ton of it. If you pick it up be very critical of it. Also, do not be afraid to dabble in draconic magic. Conway has this very high and mighty stance of sort of, not so much shaming but putting people down for dabbling in magic and goes so far as to say to put the book down and don't even try draconic if you're gonna dabble. An attitude of "SERIOUS MAGICIANS ONLY" sort of gatekeeping and honestly it bothered me A LOT. From personal experience the dragon I am learning under said dabbling is ok, especially if you are new to witchcraft or want to explore a certain path because you don't know if that path is what you really wanna do and you won't know until you dip your toes into the water.

Conway just has this sort of arrogance in the book as if she's the expert on dragons. Granted! She has worked with dragons for over 20 years so some things she has to say can be helpful like understanding the basic elements of the dragons but there is just a lot of lore misinformation and she tends to act as if the way she does her rituals are the correct ways to practice dragon magic when really every witch has their own way of doing things. It all depends on you and if you made contact with a dragon they'll surely assist you in how you will practice the draconic craft.

Bottom line: do I recommend this book? With a heaping pile of sea salt. Would I say this is a very small foundation to explore draconic craft? Sure but with that heaping pile of sea salt. Personally I recommend trying to make a connection with a dragon first before reading this book. Find other draconic witches like alchemy.of.spirit or that.dragon.witchh on Instagram and check out their content. Dancing with Dragons is the bare bottom of the barrel minimum of you really need a book to start somewhere. Keep the salt around while you read it and thanks for listening to my TED talk!

Happy Mabon!