#because he so clearly doesn't want to be perceived

[slowestlap]

Anatomy of a Champion - Viaplay documentary | Part 1/3

"If it was up to me, I'd still be in bed now and just waking up" - Max on his way to the paddock at the 2022 Austrian GP

[normalenjoyer-png]

i need to dwell on brad's line about villains being the heroes

[lurking-latinist]

🐈

[tearlessrain]

please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!

gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.

SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:

diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.

non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.

the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.

now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.

if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.

if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.

this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.

it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.

but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.

[gffa]

When Sol said that he felt a connection to Osha, when he felt that she was meant to be his Padawan, Indara's response was to make sure he wasn't confusing what he wanted with what the Force wanted, and that's it, that's exactly it! Sol's statement isn't criticized because that kind of destiny doesn't exist--it pretty clearly does, sometimes people are meant to be Master and Padawan, they're drawn together by the Force, that's a thing the Force does in Star Wars, that's part of the worldbuilding that exists. It's criticized because Indara isn't sure that he's not bringing his own baggage to this, as that's something that often happens. The Force is not separate from a Jedi, it's not a tarot card that you read, it's a mystical energy Force that works based on your emotions, that's why the Jedi strive to be as selfless and careful and calm as they can, so that they're not putting their own feelings into the Force and saying that's what the Force wants. Who knows if Sol was right that the Force was pulling him towards Osha, I tend to think he was feeling something very genuine there, but that tragedy struck and it all went horribly wrong, dealing Osha a wound that she could never quite recover from. But also he did desperately want it and was reckless in going about it, he was unbalanced in a deeply understandable way, a way that he could just spend some time looking inward and rebalance, it's not like he was in grave danger, just a misstep that happens to any Jedi, it's normal, it happens, you recover and you find your footing again, that's what Jedi do. And that's why Jedi have to be so careful, because it's so easy to confuse what you want with what the Force is guiding you towards. It's so easy to center on your own anxieties and think the Force is warning you of a danger, when it's just your own thoughts. It's so easy to think this person was meant for you, because you care about them, and you move too fast and people get hurt. Which got me thinking about how often Masters choose the Padawan in canon, because that makes sense, too, with how hard it is to really center yourself and to be able to perceive what is what you want versus what the Force is guiding you towards. How a younger Jedi may not have the same amount of experience at that Perceiving Yourself that a Master or even a Knight would have. That Indara doesn't say Sol can't be drawn to Osha, the Force doesn't work that way, says a lot about how the Jedi and the Force work, but also the show really nailed that you have to be careful with that, it's not a magic crystal ball that you can read with impartiality no matter what mood you're in or what you wish would happen. But you need to understand yourself and what you want is something that's at the root of Jedi philosophy and action.

[alchemistc]

There's been something about the woobification of Buck that's been sitting on the tip of my tongue for weeks now, and I think I've finally figured it out.

This is, of course, mostly in reference to the moral outrage about a decade-ish (give or take) age gap between two adult men and the infantalization of one said grown man, so all the puritanism isn't really coming from a place of good faith anyway, but here's the thing that's been bugging me that I couldn't quite put a finger on until now.

Buck has people he goes to for certain things. He has, what are in his mind, experts in the field for most of the things he can't think through on his own, that he goes to for a sounding board.

He went to Hen to talk through the sperm donor dilemma for a few reasons that made sense to him. 1) She's a mom. She has very much had to deal with the reality of 'giving up' children she considered her own. Buck is aware that he would be giving up something that could mean something to him, and he wants to talk to someone who has some insight into that. 2) She's dealt with IVF. She knows the risks, she knows the trials and tribulations, she knows about this thing that he is thinking about agreeing to be a part of so she's going to have a fuller grasp on the enormity of everything this process entails.

And they drink about it. Hen gives him what she can and cautions him where she thinks she should and they continue to talk about it and regardless of what SHE thinks, he makes his mind up in part because he got to talk to his Expert.

Bobby is often his go to when he feels like he's losing his grip on things. He's seen Bobby staring down the bottom of the bottle. He's seen the work he's done to pull himself back into the world, and he's seen the way he fights for his family, his people. Buck leans on him in times of questioning himself because he knows Bobby has pulled himself off the ledge with bleeding hands and a bleeding heart.

He reaches out to Maddie about interpersonal shit constantly. We see it all the way back in S2 when he's starting to question what the hell he's still doing in Abby's apartment, and that never really changes. She's the one with advice for him when he's angry with his parents, upset with the firefam, worried about his friends, or just generally concerned with the way he's perceived by people or how he perceives the world. He goes to her when he's embarrassed, ashamed, because he knows she won't judge him for it. She'll call him out, for sure, but she's not going to look at him differently when she knows he's done something he considers bad behavior.

When he goes to her during the Tommy arc, he's there for one reason he'll admit, and another she has to ferret out. 1) He lied to his best friend and he doesn't know why. 2) Oh yeah he went on a date with a dude that's not strange WHY IS THAT STRANGE I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AN ALLY PLEASE DON'T PULL BACK THE CURTAIN - and Maddie is there with two things: 1) It's not weird but it IS new and something you clearly haven't worked through all the way which is why 2) you'll tell Eddie when you're ready

And Eddie is sort of his go-to to bounce ideas off of. Eddie is his Buck expert. Eddie is the guy who can sort through all the bullshit and who sees Buck for exactly who he is, every time, regardless of what Buck himself is thinking. Eddie is his best friend, and he knows the good the bad and the ugly better than anyone else. He is also, quite frankly, the one Buck seeks out to help him contextualize all of his romantic feelings for people. Eddie's the guy he talks to when he's interested in someone, when he's falling for someone, he's the guy through which Buck filters his love interests into the firefam. I do the same shit with my best friend. It's instinct to want the person you consider the expert on you to meet the person you are interested in, it's instinct to want them to like each other, to get along. Buck knows Eddie loves him (in whatever way you see that love, Buck knows Eddie loves him) and he wants this person who loves him to be at least an active listener as he talks himself through the minefield of relationships. I do also think that up until the events of season seven, Buck considers Eddie sort of an expert on that traditional love-marriage-kids-white-picket-fence relationship Buck thinks he's striving for - in a very naive way, because obviously the wasn't what Eddie and Shannon had and Buck knows that, but he's probably fed some of Eddie's rose colored reminiscences back into that notion.

When he comes out to Eddie he's got two worries. 1) I lied to you and I figured out why but I'm still a little worried you think it's weird and 2) I screwed it up with someone I really like and I don't know where to go from here.

And Eddie (Buck expert) reassures him that just because it's new and unexpected doesn't make it strange, that it doesn't change anything in their friendship. And then he gets right to the heart of it - if you like him you should reach out and tell him that. He doesn't know you like we do but if you give him the chance to, he'll love you as much as we do. If he doesn't give it the same shot you want to he's the idiot.

With all that context in mind, Buck isn't seeking out Tommy's attention because he wants an authority figure, or someone to take care of him, someone to guide him through sex or love or relationship dynamics or any of the other random shit I've seen ppl infantalizing Buck about.

What he's looking for, and what he ultimately tells Tommy he'd like to pursue, is a partnership. Someone to walk (or more likely for Buck, speedrun) through experiences together. The Athena to his Bobby, the Chim to his Maddie, the Karen to his Hen.

So every time I see someone infantalizing Buck for seeking out a relationship with an older man for X or Y reason, I'm just like - no. He has Bobby, Hen, Maddie, Eddie, Chim etc for that. He doesn't want or need Tommy for that. He is a grown ass man who has built these strong relationships with his peers and his mentors and he is so fucking aware of that because he reaches for their help any time he feels the urge for a helping hand.

So yeah, Tommy's older. Yes, Tommy has more experience with his sexuality than Buck. And that - that's really it. Buck's been in the same career for more than half a decade. He's lived on his own since he was no older than 19/20. He's had serious relationships, he has a rich and fulfilling life. There is no power imbalance in the relationship between Buck and Tommy.

And while the age gap may be a bit of a draw for Buck, it's not WHY he's attracted to Tommy. We know because he's told Maddie. He's cool. He's interesting. He's confident. He has a cleft.

Buck isn't going into this waiting for someone older and more experienced to take the fucking reins. He felt like he clicked with Tommy, like there was an immediate connection, and yes, Tommy had to kiss him about it for Buck to actually figure out what it was he was experiencing, but from that point on it was all on Buck (and the people he leans on for advice) to help him sort through.

Tommy didn't do shit other than pump the brakes and try to give Buck the space he thought he needed to decide what he was ready for. Buck (again, with the help of his experts - Maddie for the emotional piece of it, Eddie for the Buck of it all) did the work on his own. Tommy didn't swoop in and overbearingly hold his hand through a sexual awakening. He kissed him, asked him out, realized he wasn't ready, stepped back and then checked in multiple times when Buck came back at it going 120 miles an hour.

And then he did everything he could to prove to Buck he wanted the same thing - a partner, someone to talk to, and lean on, and flirt with and rely on to show up whenever they could feasibly manage it (and sometimes when it's a little unfeasible too).

The narrative even acknowledges that Buck had no reason to go to Bobby in this scenario, when he often would, and lays out exactly why.

Within the canon of this particular arc, we're meant to see this as Buck realizing he has the experience necessary to think these things through on his own. This is Buck finally taking control of something that's always felt like it fell into his lap a bit. This is Buck doing more than treading water until his legs give out.

And minimizing that growth bc you personally don't like the LI he's pursuing is gross at best. At worst it's something much more insidious.

[livwritesstuff]

Steve is home one day with his daughters when he realizes that his oldest, Moe, is ten.

Okay, obviously, he knew she was ten. She’s been ten for a while, as her birthday is in July and it’s now December, and the girls are discussing Christmas as they perceive it in their little girl worlds.

It’s really that Steve realizes that Moe is the same age Erica had been when he’d asked her to climb through air ducts and infiltrate a Russian military base.

It’s a realization that has Steve feeling a little nauseous, because Moe is ten and she’s plotting with her little sisters about how they’re going to stay awake on Christmas Eve to catch a glimpse of Santa (their conspiring has Steve worried for his and Ed’s own role in Christmas Eve and the way it hinges on the girls falling asleep as early as fucking possible), and she’d lost another baby tooth this morning and hasn’t stopped talking about what the tooth fairy might leave for her overnight, and she still sneaks into his and Eddie’s room after nightmares looking for snuggles, and she’s afraid of car washes and bugs, and she still wants to be read to before bed every night.

He’d been struck suddenly by how little Moe still is. Maybe he’s only thinking that because she’s his daughter – his first daughter, at that – but he still looks at that kid’s face and sees the newborn baby who’d made him a dad ten years ago.

He can’t imagine looking at her and seeing someone equipped to take on Erica had been asked to do, never mind actually asking her to do it, which is precisely what Steve had done twenty-five years ago.

It eats at him for the rest of the day.

“Just call her, Steve,” Eddie urges him after Steve brings it up for the sixth time that evening, “You clearly need to air this shit out.”

So Steve calls Erica.

Erica is in her mid-thirties now. She’s a kick-ass lawyer at a private firm in Indiana, and she picks up the phone on the second ring.

“This is Erica,” she says.

“Hey, it’s Steve.”

“What’s up,” she replies, still never one for beating around the bush.

“I just – I need to apologize.”

“For what?”

“For Scoops,” Steve says, “For Starcourt.”

Erica is silent for a while.

None of them really talk about any of that stuff anymore. They’d hashed everything out ages ago, until all that was left behind was the understanding that none of them would ever be able to truly move past it, that there would always be guilt and fear and pain they could never shake.

“Okay?” she finally says, question in her tone.

“I just…” Steve hesitates, “Look – I didn’t get it. I didn’t fully get how fucked up it was. I was the grown up in the situation and I should have put a stop to it but I was stupid and reckless, and now that Moe is ten, I can’t stop thinking about how insane it was for us to even consider roping you into that.”

“I agreed to it.”

“You were a kid.”

“You were a kid,” Erica insists.

“Eighteen isn’t a kid anymore.”

“Say that to me again when Moe’s eighteen and maybe I’ll believe you.”

Steve doesn't have anything to say to that, because Erica is probably right (though only time will tell, he supposes). Their phone call ends only a few minutes later with Erica telling him to go easy on himself and Steve saying he’d try before apologizing one more time.

“You gonna take her advice?” Eddie asks after he’s pulled a begrudging Steve into his arms.

“No,” he tells him, curling into his husband’s side and sticking his nose in Eddie’s neck so he doesn’t have to look him in the eye.

“Figures.”

[nohoperadio]

That cool bee book I was talking about a while ago mostly refrains from philosophical digressions (which I think is a strength, I appreciated how the author had total confidence that just clearly presenting the facts about his subject would be enough to make a fascinating book without the need for any "...and here's why that should blow your mind" editorializing, and he's totally right), but there was one towards the end I've found myself thinking about a lot, which is: he wants people to stop using "self-consciousness" (i.e. the concept exemplified by the mirror test but used implicitly or explicitly in tons of other contexts) as a criterion for which animals can be considered sentient/morally relevant/having significant inner lives/however you want to describe it. Not, as you might expect, because he thinks it's an unreasonably high bar to meet, but because it's such a low bar that it produces no distinctions: he argues that basically any animal with any kind of developed central nervous system has to have some kind of self-consciousness almost by definition.

The example I remember best is: imagine you can see an object in your visual field getting closer to you. No matter the specifics, it's obviously always going to make a huge difference to how you evaluate this situation whether the cause of the object getting closer is a] the object is moving towards you, or b] you are moving towards the object. If a, then something might be pursuing you or falling on you or a thousand other things that are just not even worth considering in the case of b. But visually the two cases are indistinguishable; if you're going to be able to track the difference, your brain has to be putting at least some work into keeping tabs on what your own intentions are and what choices you're making as you move through the world, predicting the expected consequences of those choices, and maintaining a fairly tidy mental separation between stuff in the world that you're making happen and stuff in the world that's just happening of its own volition. Otherwise, every time you walk towards a rock you'll freak out and think the rock is rolling into you, or vice versa.

And it's not hard to see how this applies to your entire sensory world right, it applies to sounds and tactile sensations and even feelings internal to your body to some extent, if you're going to both perceive the world and take actions in the world then it's mandatory to mentally separate yourself and the world before that's going to yield even an ounce of helpful information, you just can't function successfully on the most basic level if you're processing stuff that you're doing on the same level as stuff that's happening, if you're in that state then you simply don't have a usable model of the world at all, you just have chaos.

So you can very easily eliminate a certain seductive narrative about the evolution of consciousness, which starts with very primitive animals who are mentally processing nothing but basic sensory inputs, then as you rise up the chain more complex animals are forming concepts of objects and building up a more nuanced understanding of the world, until finally you approach humans and the mind becomes so subtle and sophisticated that it gains access to this special advanced meta-level of thought where it can even understand itself! No, the self is precisely the one idea that has to be in place from the very beginning, before any of it has even the most rudimentary practical value. Self-consciousness isn't the pinnacle of the mind's evolution, it's one of the lowest, most basic foundations that everything else builds off of.

I think this is really cool stuff! I don't know enough about the relevant academic philosophy of mind debates to say how far all this does or doesn't speak to that, maybe someone will tell me the "self-consciousness" concept being attacked here is a strawman somehow, I don't know. But it's definitely impacted the way I (just a dumb guy who likes creatures) think about our small small cousins and what their lives might be like and I think it's super interesting. If you think it's interesting too then maybe you wanna buy The Mind of a Bee by Lars Chittka and read it. It's mostly not about this stuff, as I say it's light on philosophy and heavy on bee-life immersion, but if you actually read this whole post then you're probably in the market for that I feel like.

[msmysticfail]

How to manifest (Law of Attraction) for 8th house and Scorpio placements:

The 8th house, like Scorpio, is ruled by Pluto, the great God of the underworld, of the bowels of the Earth. It is the magnetic force of Pluto that acts on the Earth's core, which is why people with important placements in the 8th house and Scorpio are magnetic, they have that sublime magnetism that pulls people in, attracting them with that something that people generally don't know how to define it exactly.

Unlike the magnetism of the Sun, which is hot and radiates light and which everyone wants to be close to its heat, Pluto is quiet, cold, it’s extremely silent, it is that spirit that stands still in one of the corners of the room, without anyone noticing it. It's energy is not clearly perceived, felt, but it's so strong, so strong, that it doesn't need clear manifestations, "scandalous" situations to show itself. Its vibration is extremely low but he is extremely powerful. Pluto gets what he wants because his strength is vibrating so strongly within itself that it becomes a pole of magnetism for the things around him. Pluto governs irresistible attractions, governs the depths of the earth (the richest and purest gold), governs the most lethal bombs, governs the most dangerous places, Pluto governs the strength to walk through “Hell”.

Okay, so how to manifest using Pluto?

1- Look inside yourself and see what/how your thoughts are.

Have you ever stopped to think about where/what your thoughts are most of the time? You may be dwelling on what someone did to you, your mind may be fixated on the bad things that happened to you in the past, you may be furious with your insufferable boss or your ex's new girlfriend.

You're going to have to start paying attention from now on - while you're manifesting - where your thoughts are in the moment.

2- Change your thoughts from what bothers you to what you want.

You know what you want, 8th house and Scorpio individuals always have something they really want and they know what it is. So, from the moment you start manifesting you will have to redirect your thoughts from the things that bother you to the things that please you, the things that you really want. This process is not easy, you may need to heal some wounds from the past first, so that you can finally have a strong and clear mind to act on your desires.

3 – Write what you want and don’t show it to anyone

Write down what you really want to manifest, you can use any type of manifestation method (scripting), write with all your heart what you want to manifest, be it a boyfriend, be it a position at work, be it the fame you want to gain, connect with the desire and let your words flow. Keep the notebook/sheet in secret (Pluto), and let its manifestation be something intimate between you (8th house or Scorpio placement) and Pluto (force of the Universe).

4 - Activate your personal power

You are angry that things are not going the way you want, you feel ugly, you feel disconnected from yourself, you feel bad inside yourself. Look, this is the hardest part. You will have to change your entire emotional universe to work deeply with your emotions, remember, the 8th house is the house of deep emotions, just like the 12th house, you will have to dive completely within yourself, to discover what hurts you (8th house), what you are afraid of losing (8th house), what gives you pleasure (8th house) even if it is prohibited. You will enter one of the most sensitive areas of yourself. There's no getting away with Pluto, however. If you want your gold, you'll have to walk through hell first. Remember, however, that Persephone had the help of Hecate, Dante had the help of Virgil, so you can also ask for help, whether from a psychologist, through witchcraft, meditation, or through physical or emotional self-care.

5 – Keep working on your personal power

After you understand your inner universe, now it's time to activate the power of Pluto. “What I want also wants me”, “What is mine is coming to me”, “I love myself, I accept my intensity, I accept my power. My power doesn’t scare me”, “I’m not going to give that power to him/her, I have the power to move forward, I have the power to change this situation”. These are some of the phrases that you will repeat to yourself, at any time of the day, while you are manifesting, you can create others, just remember that they should remind you of your personal power, that they should affirm your power, be creative and repeat firmly because Pluto will listen to you.

6-End: Don't be afraid of the journey

Pluto rules you, baby! Don't be afraid of the shadows, let them work for you, not against you, the dark cannot scare you, you are a creature of the depths, a child of the realms of the darkness. Good luck!

[sunderwight]

Thinking about an SVSSS AU where, after Shen Qingqiu self-destructs, Luo Binghe does successfully resurrect his dead shizun.

But it's the wrong shizun.

Shen Jiu doesn't remember anything after his actual death, so the last thing he knew, Luo Binghe was his much-loathed teenage disciple, Liu Qingge hated his guts, and his reputation was maybe not the best in the cultivation world but he certainly hadn't been outed as a mass-murderer or embroiled in some twisted, perceived love affair with his least liked student, who it turns out is also some kind of over-powered demon. He doesn't adjust well to the developments that occurred while he was out of operation.

Meanwhile Luo Binghe at first thinks it's reverse amnesia or something, that whatever memories SQQ lost before have been regained, but also that he's lost other memories in the meanwhile. Struggles a bit with the idea that he apparently became the new traumatic thing that his shizun wanted to forget. And then he starts to think that it might be worse than that, and that his shizun has Come Back Wrong, because he does know what Shen "Qingqiu" is like when he's stressed out and furious and struggling, and it's still not like this vitriolic snake of a man he's somehow ended up with.

Eventually, Luo Binghe pieces together that something else must have happened when his shizun qi deviated all those years ago. That this soul is just flat-out not his shizun's soul, but it is also clearly Shen Qingqiu's, which means that Luo Binghe's actual shizun was some kind of spirit that took possession of Shen Qingqiu's body for a while. This is intensely distressing news, although not for any of the normal reasons -- how can he resurrect Shizun if he can't even use this body to call back his soul?!

Meanwhile Mushroom Shen Yuan is trying (and failing) to talk himself out of going to just like, check on Binghe. Quickly. Before he finalizes his whole disappearing-into-the-horizon thing. Which he is definitely absolutely going to do. Once he's just, y'know, sure that Binghe is okay now.

[wellcollapse]

the sheer amount of reassurance that eddie offered buck this ep had me reeling. like. every single offhanded self-deprecating comment that buck made in this ep, lighthearted and playful as they were, was immediately folllowed by eddie refuting it in the softest, gentlest way. buck announced he broke up with natalia and eddie, who specifically warned him that it wasn't a good idea to date someone they met on a call, who was potentially very hurt by buck claiming that natalia 'sees him,' and who was clearly not in favor of the relationship, said none of it. instead, without even missing a beat, he starts his reply off with to be fair. to be fair to buck, in case buck isn't being fair to himself.

when eddie brings up not wanting chris to go down a path of being reckless with dating, and buck assumes that eddie doesn't want chris to end up like him, eddie shuts that down instantly by reminding him that buck didn't actually end up the way he perceives himself. i love the way eddie so clearly acknowledges buck's idea of who buck once was while giving him that reassurance that he was never just that person. he's not buck 1.0, he's not buck 2.0, he's not buck 3.0, he's just buck, and eddie loves him the way he is.

i just — eddie is always offering buck grace and always so in tune with the way that buck's mind works, giving him the space to make the decisions he needs to, regardless of whether eddie agrees with them, all while still being in his corner and waiting for him to come to his senses in his own time, and eventually come home. to come back to where he belongs, because eddie missed him and never, ever wants to be without him again.

[alltimefail]

Okay I'm on my 5th rewatch of Dead Boy Detectives and I have to know if anyone else finds it funny (and a little bit maddening) that in episode 6 when Monty needs help finding his fake ghost friend Gladys it's CHARLES who dismisses him immediately?

Like... they go so far as to make a point of showing us multiple reactions to his dismissal. First Crystal, who has no reason to believe the boys will turn down Monty's case due to Edwin's assumed crush and Charles' people-pleasing nature. She agrees to the case quickly because it's the perfect distraction for the boys and will buy her time to get her powers back... but then, to her shock, Charles turns down the case!! Charles who is all about gentleness and "Bedside manner," who cares deeply about being a "Good guy" and about being liked, the guy plagued with worry about how he is perceived by others and who never wants to disappoint anyone, the guy who is suuuuuper sentimental, protective, has a strong sense of justice, and is notably dedicated to protecting his friends and helping the people he cares about at quite literally any cost.

Even Monty is surprised, too!! It's clear that Monty anticipates Edwin's lingering guilt and old-fashioned sensibilities regarding decorum and conflict avoidance to be enough motivation for him to take on the case, that Edwin would agree just to avoid adding any more animosity or awkward tension to an already delicate situation. Monty had to know, going in, that he really only had to get through to Charles (who he admittedly had neglected in the past and been cold to in previous interactions due to his crush on Edwin). Considering Charles' easy-going nature, this should have been quite easy as Edwin is a much harder person to win over, whereas Charles is quick to see the good in others!! That's why he compliments Charles (despite the sentiment being disingenuous) and contrives a story that, knowing what we all know about the boys by this point, should have struck an emotional chord for Charles especially... BUT IT DOESN'T which is like... very weird!!! It's normal for Edwin to act logically, to put facts over feelings, to "play hardball" as Charles puts it in episode 1. But Charles is emotional, he's compassionate, he's impulsive more times than not, so this is notably weird behavior for Charles!!

BUT THEN it gets even better because Charles is immediately like, "Edwin, you know what I'm saying, right?" He throws the ball to Edwin, expecting Edwin to agree with him - a reasonable expectation as, again, Edwin is the logical one - but then Edwin doesn't agree, he sides with the girls instead and takes on the case for, what we can only assume is an unknown/indiscernible reason to Charles. (Remember, Charles has no clue that Edwin already turned Monty down, and we know he thinks that Edwin has a little crush on Monty at this point as well!!) Charles doesn't push the issue, but it's clear he's not particularly happy... it's hard to nail down what exactly he's feeling (we can't read his mind) but he's clearly feeling some type of way. You can tell by his silence, by the tense, tight-jaw frown and his eyes wandering to the floor that he must have been expecting a different outcome. It felt like he asked Edwin in a way that felt more like he was testing something, like he was hoping for a certain outcome...but WHY???

Well, let's acknowledge the context in which this strange interaction happens. In the same episode we see Charles:

Note how weird/off everyone is behaving specifically after Edwin is awkward with Monty on the roof.

Checking Edwin out, up and down, after Niko tells him he looks good (This is an irrefutable conclusion as he openly comments on Edwin's change of clothes later, so like... he noticed lmao)

Acting colder than he previously has to Monty by the time they get to the tall forest, despite the possibility that Monty may have lost his friend who comforted him after his own near-death experience. (This happens after Edwin agrees to take on the case, btw. Even when Crystal points out that there's an issue between Monty and Edwin, Charles makes no move to inquire, to "fix" it, or to be especially gentle as he normally might.)

Boldly and instinctively reach for Edwin's hand while making pointed, emotional eye contact as a "last act" during their near "death" experience.

And that's not even everything!!! So like... yeah, sure, it could be nothing. It could mean nothing. Allll of this could just be coincidental. Maybe Charles was being logical and responsible for once, maybe he really did just feel like they were already too busy to take on an extra case.

OR, more likely in my personal opinion, HE WAS JEALOUS AS FUCK!!! We know, based on their interaction at the end of the episode, that Charles has always had at least some idea that Edwin is not straight. We know that everyone is convinced Edwin has a crush on Monty. We know that Charles, after meeting Monty for the first time, has an expression of disdain on his face while watching Monty and Edwin interact (when Monty is showing Edwin his astrology chart). We even know that, following this interaction, Charles is frazzled/irritated when he fails to get Edwin's attention away from Monty's astrology book (clearly upset that Edwin's attention is occupied elsewhere and suddenly eager to remind Edwin that the goal is to leave Port Townsend with haste). Monty aside, we're not even getting into the protective and emotional response Charles has at the mere mention of the damn Cat King...

SOOOO TLDR; I've watched this show every day, and the more I watch it the less I can be convinced that Charles is not jealous AF and stupidly, deeply in love with Edwin...even if he isn't aware of it yet. I have no idea why so many people think Charles has 0 romantic interest in Edwin and that he "turned Edwin down completely" on the stairs to hell... because that's simply just not what happened lmao. Seeing the word "queerbait" being attached to these two is giving me whiplash... like that's just not what's happening here. That's not the proper interpretation of the nature of their relationship. I don't think there is any possibility, not a chance in hell, that Charles will not reciprocate Edwin's romantic feelings because he quite literally already does and just doesn't know it yet. There's no other way to interpret the acting choices made (which are brilliant) and the writing choices (which are also brilliant).

Anyway, hopefully that made sense. I just needed to share because I am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure going absolutely batshit over this show! 😇

[dceasesd]

why juni ba’s the boy wonder has my favorite jason characterization of any contemporary comic run: a needlessly in-depth analysis (pt.3)

go check out part 1 and part 2 if you'd like! this is a long one, sorry guys.

if you haven't already i'd recommend you check out pt. 1 & pt. 2 (linked above), but if you haven't checked them out i've been going over some of the main things people have been criticizing ba's characterization for: 1. the typical boiling down of jason's character to "the angry one" 2. his lack of strategy going into the fight with the demon is out-of-character 3. the neighbor's kid interaction

alright, so this last point is purely based off of one page of the entire comic: the one where the child of one of jason's neighbors is dragged inside his home when his mother see's jason coming.

first off, i love this page. it might be my favorite page in the entire issue. everything about it is great. just thought i needed to say that.

anyway, there's some people who are seeing this page and reading it as "jason protects kids! that's one of his big things! why are they scared of him?"

here's the thing, though: the kid isn't scared of jason, the mom is. the kid is literally playing dress up as the red hood-- he's not scared of jason, if anything he's trying to replicate him. little kids dress up as their heroes all the time; why is this kid any different? it doesn't really make sense for the kid to dress up of something he's scared of (not everyone is as weird bruce wayne), especially a real person that could be a real threat rather than a concept. i doubt you see many kids in gotham dressing up as the joker or something, because that's just asking for trouble.

the dress-up honestly seems like a ploy for attention to me. the kid clearly knows that red hood lives in his building (which is honestly so funny. take off the mask jason you're giving you're position away (actually this is a really good instance for analysis but i'm determined to not go on a tangent)). if the kid knows red hood lives in his building, what better way to get his attention that dressing up as him and playing pretend? if the kid was scared of him, he wouldn't want to draw that sort of attention to himself. if he had a sort of hero-worshippy thing going on like i suspect, then he would want to get jason's attention. to sum it up,

it's the mom who pulls him away when jason nears, because she either a) perceives him as a threat, b) doesn't want her kid to try and replicate him even more, or, the most likely option, both! the kid isn't scared of him, but the mother believes they should be.

once again, we come back to the whole perception vs. reality theme i talked about in part one! we've come full circle, everyone!

when looking at the neighborhood's perspective of the red hood, ba gives us a few contradictory examples. there's the kid and the mother, obviously, but there's also a slew of other citizens who interact with him at the beginning of the issue, both in fear and camaraderie.

the unhoused man and the people outside of his building clearly have a familiarity and are comfortable with him, while the shopkeeper is terrified and literally has a banned poster on his wall featuring jason (i am so curious what he did to deserve that, if he even did anything at all). from this, it appears that jason's reputation teeters between fearful and familiar-- a sentiment that also colors jason's relationship with his family.

furthermore, this concept underscores just how lonely jason is-- one of the only good relationships he had in his current life was his fucking landlord, for gods sake, and he's dead.

i think it's important to note that jason doesn't respond to the friendly greetings from the men-- he could attempt to build camaraderie, the roots are there, but he chooses not to. he could work to try and show the mother that her son is safe with him, but he chooses not to. why? jason is obviously lonely (as ba states in the panel below) and he caves pretty easily when damian asks him for help (both of them are so desperate for human interaction its tragic). so why does he distant himself from the community?

obviously it is in part due to the vigilante lifestyle, but it is also jason's perception of himself and how he believes others perceive him, especially in regards to his family (ba is literally hitting readers in the head with that theme baseball bat).

he doesn't see that the kid with the mask looks up to him, all he sees is the mother pulling him away. he sees the banned poster in the store. and, as ba narrates, "he was sure he'd been forgotten about" by his family. utrh is jason's twisted way of attempting to reach out and connect with bruce, and obviously that doesn't work-- so he chooses loneliness over rejection.

like in part one, though, damian refutes this idea by describing bruce's perspective, showing how what jason believes differs from actuality. bruce hasn't forgotten about him and doesn't hate him, as he suspected, but instead harbors guilt over the situation and desires to make it better, which jason must come to understand to be able to open the locked door and begin to move past his trauma.

so, that's what the little kid in the red hood outfit looks like to me. i actually have a lot more i'd like to say about the boy wonder, especially in regards to the whole "door to my past life" thing and what ba does with lighting and blocking in his artwork, so i may do a little post on that as well! i was gonna try and shove it into this one, but i've run out of room! i hope you guys liked my analysis, if you'd like to chat about the boy wonder or any other comics, my dms, asks, and reblogs are happily open! thanks for reading! :)) <3

pt. 1 / pt. 2

[justrustandstardust]

i've seen a lot of discourse about this juju stroll going around and i wanted to pitch in my two cents, because i think it's saying something different than what people are taking away at face value.

so everyone's being asked their type and they either answer immediately or refuse to answer— with the exception of gojo. he's distinct because when he's asked his type, he neither answers nor refuses; he waffles and says this:

this is VERY unlike him; he's always got something to say or a quippy remark at the ready. he's drawing out his answer, clearly wasting time. it's made even more clear that his answer is supposed to be perceived as different because everyone else either answers at length or not at all.

he then does something CRAZY and basically eggs on utahime to tell him his type. he's not providing an answer; he's waffling and then making utahime give him an answer to get out of answering in a straightforward way.

he continues to prompt her when she can't think of anything because he's that damn intent on not providing a real answer. "that girl who seemed nice" is generic enough and could apply to anyone, but the point i want to highlight here is that he says bangs. he draws out providing his answer and makes utahime provide one for him; the only concrete thing we know about gojo's type (the nice girl thing is intentionally generic and a nondescript, blasé non-answer) is that he's into bangs.

by process of elimination, not because she meets the criteria, utahime comes to the conclusion that the only person who fits "nice" with bangs is miwa. this is problematic for two reasons: one, miwa is seventeen and a student. gojo is a grown ass man and a teacher, there's no way he'd out his type as a student. two, as you'll see in the next pic, he never actually says miwa's name. he just agrees with utahime— he agrees with the answer he made her provide, selecting the choice that he pigeonholed her into making.

he's too enthusiastic about the sell here, especially because he's never once said miwa's name. he doesn't actually confirm it's miwa specifically, he only confirms that he agrees with utahime's choice in selecting the person that best fits his type. (once again: the choice that HE forced her to make).

so now we go back to the other part, the only concrete thing that gojo reveals about his type: bangs. sure, plenty of people have bangs in this series, but who's known for them? whose bangs are repeatedly mentioned by tertiary characters?

he's even referred to by his bangs; they're that notable and a key characteristic of his appearance.

we have a character known for his bangs. the only thing we know for real about gojo's type is that it's a person with bangs. and then we have this:

he’s also notably NICE; his character is specifically denoted by his manners and his open expression of care towards others. he’s not a girl but two major components of his character are that he’s openly nice and that he has bangs.

so there you have it. gojo's type is not miwa— that was merely an intentional misdirect. when you look deeper, this whole sequence confirms that, murderous cult leader or not, gojo's type hasn't changed in over a decade.

[island-in-the-shadows]

I absolutely get the takes that Oliver never really knew Felix. Just knew some sort of idealised version of him. And there is credence to it. However, I think it's a little bit more complex.

I think Oliver did know Felix. I think that Felix probably told him things he hadn't told anyone else. It's easier to open up to people you've just met about some things than it is to open up to someone you've known a long time. You don't want relatives to know certain things or you don't want them to judge you. We see conversations that they have but we don't hear them. We're not privy to what they say to each other. Why is that? Simple. Oliver doesn't want us to know.

Everything is coloured by Oliver being an unreliable narrator. Felix, in particular, is inexorably coloured by the deep and complicated love Oliver has for him, by his nostalgia, and by his anger and frustration. But it's also coloured by Oliver's perceived possession of Felix.

As much as, from what we see (if we take it at face value), Felix is clearly possessive of Oliver, so to Oliver is possessive of Felix. We see it again and again. Hell, (imo) the ending of the film is not so much about possessing Saltburn as just real estate and social status, etc. as it is about possessing Saltburn as an extension of Felix. And this possession colours the narrative. Even if he's telling this to a comatose Elspeth. In Oliver's mind, his claim over Felix supersedes Elspeth's even though she is Felix's mother.

So it's not that he didn't know Felix. It's that we don't know Felix. We never really do. We see bits of him. But it's because we are not allowed to know him. Oliver does not want us to know him. His Felix--God and human, perfection and foible alike--is not for us. He never could be. Oliver would never allow it.

[casscainmainly]

Gender/Sexuality in Batgirl (2000): Part 2

@dailycass-cain asked some great questions on my other post, which I'm gonna answer here to the best of my ability. Also if you're reading this, I love your blog, your reading list is how I got into Cass in the first place!!!

This post covers issue #50 onwards (end of Horrocks into Gabrych's run).

World's Okayest Father

I'll start with Cass' warped thoughts on Bruce, which occurs in issue #50. Cass has just gotten fired, but chooses to go out anyway and Bruce confronts her. The issue opens with a flashback:

Cass and David Cain spar, Cain slaps her, she kisses him, and they continue to fight. Here, the kiss represents intimacy, something which Cain (judging by his disgusted facial expression) dislikes and represses. Cass, however, clearly wants intimacy with her father - this isn't romantic, rather a desire (as I said in my other post) to be wanted/needed/loved.

Back in present day, Cass and Bruce start fighting and this happens:

In the context of the opening flashback, her attempt to kiss him is a broader desire for intimacy, rather than a romantic desire. Importantly, both here and above the intimacy is mingled with violence - Cass struggles to distinguish between the intimacy of a fight and the intimacy of a familial relationship.

Just including this here because I love these two so much and this is the SECOND time she beats him up. As I mentioned before, Dick seems to represent patriarchy to Cass, so her beating him up here is another repudiation of typical feminine roles. This is exemplified by her costume: not her usual more androgynous full-face mask, but not Barbara's Batgirl either. She's beginning to sort out how she feels about her gender without conforming to feminine standards.

Then these iconic scenes. Here, she explicitly distinguishes between positive intimacy ("he never let me touch him... hold him...") and negative intimacy ("just fighting... and hurting..."). This is a major development from both the flashback and her attempt to kiss Bruce earlier. Just as Conner was essential to Cass separating romance from friendship, Bruce is essential to Cass understanding the difference between romance and familial love, between violence and tenderness. So while Cass' attempts to kiss Bruce is a little weird, it makes sense in the context of Cass figuring out the intricacies of relationships.

Bruce asks her where her loyalty lies: him, David Cain, or Barbara. Remembering the Soul panel (where Cass hallucinated Bruce telling her to stop being sexual and Babs telling her to go out and date boys), Bruce and David Cain represent sexual/gendered repression, while Barbara represents traditional femininity. By passing over them in favour of the gender-neutral Bat symbol, Cass is sort of asserting her new understanding of her gender, one that rebels against Bruce's disapproval and Babs' conventionality.

The Poison Ivy Parable

So I did just skip the Poison Ivy arc in my last post, but dailycass-cain is completely right in that it's integral to Cass' understanding of gender and sexuality.

Cass is a lot more assertive with her gender in this arc. She puts on a dress, quotes gendered reality TV ("you bet your cutie patootie, baby!") and says the above when a man expresses interest in her. Unlike her initial feelings about Conner's advances, she's more comfortable with being perceived as a woman, and doesn't let Bruce scold her. She's messing with him here - her sexuality isn't under his control anymore.

Poison Ivy makes a garden that lowers inhibitions, and Cass nearly kisses this guy named Chris (the designer of the garden). However, Cass snaps out of it to go to "work," defeating Poison Ivy.

Cass' choice to "work" instead of kissing Chris could be read as a repression of her sexuality once again, but I think it's different. Cass doesn't get told to stop kissing him; she makes the choice herself. Bruce alludes to this by saying "looks like you've got things under control" (emphasis added). Cass' sexuality and gender have been controlled for so long, whether by David Cain, Bruce, Babs, drugs like Soul, or gardens like Poison Ivy's. By breaking free of the garden's effects, Cass asserts control over her body.

The Stephanie Brown Story

As mentioned in Part 1, Stephanie essentially kickstarted Cass' desire to understand her gender/sexuality. However, she 'dies' in War Games, leaving Cass devastated. There's a noticeable difference in how assertive she was in her gender in the Poison Ivy arc, and her attitude at the beginning of Gabrych's run:

She questions whether she is "the fairy godmother" or "Prince Charming," a feminine or a masculine role. Following from Horrocks' run, she's aware there's options beyond these prescriptive roles ("is this a.... whole new story?"). But unlike Cass' certainty in the Poison Ivy arc, she frames these thoughts now in questions. Stephanie's death seems to have shaken some core part of herself.

This section is very reminiscent of Cass' conversation with Stephanie that started the whole journey, except here Cass is comparing herself to Tim. Interestingly, where in the original conversation Cass says she's never had a "kiss," not specifying the gender of who she'd kiss, here Cass sticks to heterosexuality: "I've never even had a... boyfriend". There's a sense of regression, of having to start her journey all over again:

In many ways Cass' grief over Stephanie's death forces her to re-evaluate her thoughts on love, gender, and agency.

Eventually, Cass nearly drowns and hallucinates Stephanie in the water. This is the antithesis of the Soul hallucinations: where the imagined people there (which interestingly did not include Spoiler) harassed her with patriarchal demands, Stephanie is encouraging and kind. She tells Cass to do "what you taught me to do;" Cass taught Stephanie to fight, but Stephanie taught Cass the value of female relationships, to fight for a life worth living.

Right after this scene, Cass goes to Brenda's café, begins looking for her mother, and reaches out to the female police officer. Stephanie kickstarts another round of self-development for Cass, this time in the direction of forging female relationships for herself.

Connection

Throughout the rest of Gabrych's run, Cass forms connections with Brenda, Onyx, and Zero, as dailycass-cain mentions. Brenda seems to be a surrogate Stephanie and Barbara - she's sort of a parental figure, feeding Cass and giving advice, but she's also a friend, inviting Cass to parties. We get this iconic outfit:

It's somewhat gendered (with the skirt and the shirt), but it's distinctive and different from the normal dress she wore at the end of Horrocks' run. She's learning to express herself more, and because Brenda is less parental than Babs, she doesn't have the same need to make Cass 'normal'.

Zero is honestly a bit weird, in this analysis as well as in the story itself. I think it's part of Cass finding connections with civilians in Blud, and I actually don't think it's similar to Conner. With Conner, it was very rushed; with Zero, there's clear build-up, and Cass genuinely seems to enjoy herself.

Cass and Zero kiss, and Cass thinks "my skin feels... alive. Where his arms were. His lips." Was it love? Probably not, but it was a cute moment for Cass, and I think she enjoyed the excitement/novelty more than anything (in that case it is similar to Kon).

This leads into Cass' thoughts about her conception, and whether David Cain and Shiva were in love. There's a neat flip here - where in Horrocks' run Cass was puzzled about her own feelings, here she's questioning other people's. She's definitely grown in her capacity to understand herself and her gender:

She now has the language to identity herself ("a girl") and the way it makes her feel ("awful"). In contrast to her initial confrontation with the male gaze (Conner), she's more secure, beating people up and leaving the bar (sharp contrast to being stuck on that vacation boat).

There's other stuff besides this, like the brief encounter with Rose, the make-up with Babs, Onyx, Shiva etc. but I'll end it here. Again, there's a lot more to be explored but honestly Gabrych had more stuff than I initially though.

Hope this answered at least part of your questions dailycass-cain, and thank you for ALL you've done for the Cass Cain community!!