#because i'm just going to block you without reply which is the whole reason i'm posting this

[the-final-sif]

Dream's Response Summary

Dream posted a response to various accusations, covering just about everything ever because he was done with this shit. I've done my best to summarize it here, but I recommend going and watching his whole video. This is going to be extremely summarized for readability and I'm only going to cover stuff I consider serious so anything about speedrunning is getting skipped.

The tl:dr is: Dream never groomed anyone or had inappropriate contact with anyone underage, he provided proof that one accuser flat out lied, and the other ""accusation"" was from a third party who was never involved. The actual supposed victim released a statement that they were never groomed, nor a victim in any way, never was asked about someone sharing information about them, and wants everyone to shut the fuck up.

Police were never actually contacted, both twitter accounts were lying about doing so to make their claims seem real. Also the supposed snapchat video shown is a very obvious fake.

He covers Manatreed, the run down is the guy was a childhood best friend he grew up with and who was struggling with homelessness. Dream helped him, and never knew about the battery charge (Manatreed had lied to him about it). When Dream spoke to Manatreed's ex girlfriend, she was very clear she never wanted any of this publicly out there, that she was happy that Dream had been helping Manatreed and she wanted the best for him.

Dream still doesn't know exactly what happened with that situation, he has since lost contract with Manatreed, all he knows is he was trying to help a childhood friend and got lied to.

The first allegation from Oxy/Anastasia, he's extremely clear they only ever messaged in twitter dms and he disproves the claim about the texts/tik tok. He has a google voice number hooked up to his tik tok account for obvious reasons, and she was showing imessage texts. This is not possible, which means she was lying.

As part of this, Dream scrolls through his twitter dms and shows he responds to fans all the time and talks to people in his community from all over. He also shows how he's friends with and has hired people that were fans of his, including people like Foolish.

He discusses Amanda, the two of them messaged on instagram back when he was a much smaller creator. He showed/posted the transcript of the two of them talking about normal stuff. They had been messaging since 2020. He did attempt to post a complete transcript of those messages, but she had deleted some of her messages and he doesn't have a way to recover them.

Dream explains that Instagram has a "feature" where if you ever reply to someone, then you literally cannot remove their ability to message you without blocking them. Something I did not know about instagram and which is fucking wild.

Since he replied to her in 2020, that meant she could message him forever and her notifications would be constantly showing up for him. He attempted to delete her messages/her ability to message him back in 2021 and showed proof of this, but realized he couldn't. Dream also in doing so accidentally deleted the context to her messages that she was a fan and basically everything prior to 2021.

Since he didn't remember her (what with the prior messages deleted), she was dmnig him from her personal account without fan content on it and was talking about being a streamer, he assumed she was a smaller streamer he knew and was talking to her as such.

They were talking about music so he gave her his personal snapchat to talk and because he wanted to get some feedback on a new song he was working on. He wanted to send the song via snapchat so he could be reasonably sure it'd stay private.

Dream categorically denies any sexting with Amanda or sexual messaging at all, he goes through why she most likely did this (he had been ignoring her messages and made a new snapchat with only close friends). He also downloaded his own data (something Amanda refused to/failed to do), went through the snapchat logs and did see some messages, but never saw either of his supposed compliments to her.

Amanda claimed Dream deleted her dms and that's why she couldn't provide any of the evidence she claimed she had, but Dream showed those same DMs very clearly undeleted. The dms were never deleted and she lied as an excuse.

Amanda lied about going to the police. Dream had his lawyers file a bunch of requests, and track down the police station that she went to based on the photo. They filed every request possible for any information with this police station, and there was no record of Amanda visiting the station or any records relating to Dream whatsoever. So either she lied about filing anything, or she told a story such that the police filed literally no paperwork whatsoever about the situation. Not even a report.

Dream sent the police station a copy of his own drivers license and Amanda's information so they could contact him if anything did come up, and nothing ever did. Nothing was filed, nobody cared.

Dream got swatted several times as a result of online harassment, including his family, and the harassment was overwhelming and awful for him.

He addresses the gumball situation, he showed up to a birthday party for a friend, gumball's VA was there and kept getting aggressive with him. While on facetime with some friends, Cantu ended up hitting Dream to impress them. Dream was obviously put off by this, but at the end of the night people ended up ubering together and Dream ended up in an uber with Cantu. He thought it'd be fine since other people were involved.

Cantu dropped his phone out the window made the uber driver pull over to look for it and got in trouble with the police. The uber driver tried to talk to Cantu about handling the police in the future, and Cantu started calling the uber driver slurs and claiming the uber driver had "down syndrome".

Dream got involved, trying to defend the uber driver, and Cantu threatened to kill him and called him slurs. Later Cantu apologized and Dream wanted to forgive him. Only later, Cantu started spreading lies about him and calling him a pedophile, so Dream realized the apology wasn't sincere and called him out for his behavior.

The third party who had been filming all of this saw what Cantu was doing lying about Dream and trying to claim none of this happened. They reached out to Dream and gave him the actual video as proof of what happened. Cantu tried to threaten them out of sending Dream the video of what happened, but they ignored him and sent them anyways. Dream also had the uber driver in his video backing up what he said.

Finally, the Jamie Allegations

Jamie is a mutual friend of several people that Dream knew, she did not post the allegations, she was never contacted about any of this she made an explicit statement that she was never groomed or a victim in any way.

Dream and Jamie meet prior to Dream being a youtuber on bbh's minecraft server, they were both fans of Skeppy. Which is why Jamie was followed by Dream, Skeppy, Vurb and some other youtubers in their friend group.

Jamie is still active online and put out her own statement, the person in the screenshots never gave permission for any of this to be put out, and they are very clear that the messages were taken out of context and that the claims made are false. The person in the screens is clear Dream is not a groomer, they never accused him of that, and that the twitter account is lying.

The snapchat video shown is very obviously fake, because snapchat just magically opens itself, there's no finger or button use interacting with the screen.

The burner account never actually contacted the police, Dream records him calling to the department they claimed to contact, and the person answering is very clear they have no contact from this person.

The supposed recent document posted is a fake convo of someone using a fake twitter account to talk to "Jamie", Jamie did not talk to them and it's just fake.

All of this was incredibly damaging for Jamie, who had no idea what was going on, and was getting harassed/stalked/having her irls contact.

Dream has also faced waves of harassment over obviously fake allegations, people have just been taking them at face value. He also shows how easy it is to fake these things as I have done.

He's been swatted, harassed, his family has been swatted and harassed, he's been scared for his own safety several times. It's been awful for him, and all based on fake shit. He's not stepping back from minecraft, but he is stepping back from twitter and no longer engaging with people behaving this way.

Also his ping pong record was undefeated.

[crychaoss]

Something about overly patient characters is that everyone wants them to just lose it at some point and go nuts.

Well I don't want that for q!Foolish. I want him to stay patient and take that to the grave with him. But I do want an opportunity for him where he can bite back. Bite back hard, but in a scenario where he can think about it well, where his emotions don't control him and where his decision will be made purely because he thinks the other people truly deserve it.

I hope everyone can see after yesterday how bad q!Foolish is treated. While q!Bad's little pranks might seem fun, putting inforced blocks in his base is NOT and he shouldn't be able to do that. Yeah it was kind of out of the way, but it's still a shitty thing to do and the Skeppy bit is just annoying now.

But that's not even the worst part, I'm more annoyed at how Foolish's lore is going. So many characters have a relation (maybe even closer than q!Foolish) to Cucurucho or the Federation but for whatever reason q!Foolish the only one who gets called out for it. q!Cellbit literally gave the Federation the players' whole investigation and even if it was unintentional, how can they still trust him? He's the Federation's biggest puppet atm, they must be spying on him at all times and their reaction to is just "Oh you dummy, how could you not realize you were working for them all this time?" Like what??

Look at q!Bad. He did a survey for the Feds with so much informaton. Their whole thing is "perfection" and how can they make the islanders happy, and q!Bad just gives them the answer? And nobody says anything?

And what about q!Jaiden? q!Cellbit knew q!Jaiden is close to Cucurucho atm and he just told her everything that happened, and his thoughts on the Federation. q!Jaiden hid so many valuable informatiom from him but for whatever reason q!Cellbit can trust her, who they know is currently working for the Feds but not q!Foolish who arrested Pac e Mike and got NOTHING out of it and they don't even know for sure if he's working with the Feds as well or not.

And let's not even talk about q!Fit. Almost no one, NO ONE questioned why he got a job at the Federation, and when somebody did ask, mostly his reply was "It will all make sense" and then they moved on. Like no way. There is just no way.

While you could maybe explain why they think about q!Foolish this way, (like q!Cellbit saying he was mad because he arrested his friends which is totally fair considering how close him and Tazercraft is) how do you explain that all the others characters don't get SHIT for working with the Feds? I'm just annoyed at that part

But whatever happens, it's just minecraft roleplay! But I do hope that the admins can find a way to make Foolish's lore more interesting again without everyone else finding out about it seconds after it happened. I just want him to be involved in the same way everyone else is :D

[the-npd-culture-is]

Nice blog you got there cherri

ok so i have like fifteen other asks but i need to address this first because it's been an issue for nearly a month now and these anons tried to find my main and did what i think was an attempt at doxing me.

this is a post to spread awareness to my followers, despite the person concerned not being aware that i'm doing this at this moment (i will tag them and DM them about it soon). long post, but important.

i may reblog this with additional info in the future, so if you feel this gives limited information check the reblogs or comments.

these anons tried scarying me off of running my blog by constant harassment for days straight, which thankfully stopped as i ended up blocking them. as you can see they ended up bypassing my block or asked someone from another account to continue the harassment and attempts at inducing fear. frankly, what this is causing me is anger as im not the only one involved in this unfortunately.

one of the first hate anons on this blog was a spam of four or more anons asking me if i was the person the anon im replying to is mentioning here. i didn't think much of it as they came with another roughly dozen of hate anon spam which (surprise surprise/s) disappeared in its entirety once i blocked one of them. meaning a single person was harassing me.

i ended up contacting the person these anons were thinking i was, and decided to not reply to the first batch of hate, as first they had the url fully typed out in the ask and I didn't want to expose the person concerned, and second I didn't want to bother any of my followers with one salty hater. they were as weirded out as me that they got involved into this without any logical link between my main, their main, or this sideblog, asides from the fact that they were one of the handful of people that supported me early on and even accepted in dms to share my blog to a discord server (a small one, but they were excited about my blog and asked if i was ok with them sharing it and i said ok).

i had asked them to not make a callout post on their own blog about this nor to go and harass anyone. which they didn't. additionally, i sent them screenshots of the hate anons and explained to them that i didn't want to put their blog url publicly by answering the anon as I felt it was a safety issue. but they insisted that they didn't mind it and that if i changed my mind about the whole issue and decided to go public i would.

so here's their url -> @cherrifruiti (they're getting free promo lol, hopefully it balances out the harassment and targeting they went through. they're an artist and honestly good friend. we bonded more over this. go check them out)

the insistence of this anon on trying to find my main was confusing to me at first. i did not choose to remain anonymous on here for privacy reasons, hell, not even safety reasons. i deal with worse bullshit on main than here. i wanted this blog mainly to have an anonymous moderator as a way to leave space for the community voices. i felt like a faceless blog was a more welcoming environment than having the baggage of a whole person, moral alignments, blend into a space that's catered towards a specific goal and discussion. which to be fair was a huge hit for my ego. id love to share my full identity with y'all and have the accomplishments of this blog linked to me. but im stubborn and attached to my values.

to put it simply, i did not want to make the same mistake as the admin from @narcissisticpdcultureis did.

that being said, i did not lie on any of my values linked with my DNI. i wanted this blog to be accessible to cluster b personality disorder havers and the wider community regardless of their backgrounds, but with some limits for my own mental health and personal boundaries, that i tried keeping limited. notably regarding discourse. of any kind. and as another addition for resources in the npd and cluster b community. just as another community space, not a monopoly.

despite the amount of hate and adversity expressed from the admin of @narcissisticpdcultureis , i had not made this blog with adversity, harassment, anger, or "rebellion" in mind. unlike how the admin seemed to take my act of creating my own digital space and express emotional distain for my blog for the sake of existing. blaming me of doing so to put them in a bad light, while the only thing i did was point out information they already had made accessible to the public about themselves in their pinned post. which i didn't give a moral alignment to it, just stated that i was personally uncomfortable with it.

i am not condoning harassment, but I will not police your actions either. this individual(s) had put the url of my sideblog publicly in a rant of theirs aimed to put me and my work in a bad light without regards of my safety or mental health, and lead many, potentially themselves personally as well, to put me through constant anonymous harassment while i had expressed since the beginning i didn't want to be affiliated or interact with their blog, and never mentioned their url publicly up to now, to avoid the same scenario that just happened to me from their doing.

additionally, in their rant about my blog, they mentioned another npd culture that apparently was created adjacent to theirs, potentially for similar reasons as mine although this is unknown.

im gonna say one thing.

if anything, i like the attention. you decided that i, a small account, who didn't have the self estime to ever think would get traction, caused enough of a problem to make your, way more popular, blog feel threatened. i feel honored.

my only issue is that you failed to find my main blog, which frankly offended me. now my friend is the one getting all the spotlight instead of me </3

i did not judge you on morality when i decided to distance myself from your content due to your syscourse stance. but i am judging you now by your actions. i will be reporting you for harassment and encourage everyone in my social circles to do so as well.

i am not going anywhere.

[thatdeaffeel]

I have heard that some people in the Deaf community are opposed to research and efforts to restore or provide hearing to deaf people. Is this true? And if so, can you share some of the reasonings?

Sure.

I want to get a few things out of the way first.

First off let's acknowledge that being deaf and being a part of the deaf community are two different things. You do not need to be deaf to be part of the community, such as people who are raised in it like coda (child of deaf adult), or people who refuse classification as deaf because of their own severity or other personal reasons (hoh, single side deafness, partial deafness, apd, etc. the list is long and you are valid in however you choose to self-identity when experiencing hearing differences).

Second, it's always a good idea to remind everyone that we are not a monolith, there are as many deaf opinions as there are deaf people, and the same goes for the Big D. We don't agree on everything, there are deaf right-wing and deaf left-wing and everything in between. What you're going to read is the opinion of a singular deaf person. Please do not be fooled into believing that I am a source of authority nor that I speak for anyone other than myself. I am not an elected representative. I am often wrong, open and happy to be corrected in reblogs and replies. I'm going to be focussing on the UK, specifically because I am British and it's the experience and knowledge that I have, for people in other countries things will differ, and I respect and would welcome additions in the reblogs and replies! I could give a wider overview of global deaf society BUT it will be fractured and through the lens of my personal understanding as a mainstreamed British person and I really do not want to be yet another coloniser speaking for everyone, it's just not who I am.

Third, while the deaf community often restructure conversation around hearing differences as deaf gain it's a little difficult to talk using terminology outsiders and others don't understand so I will be saying hearing loss and other such things, but know that if you are in the deaf community I don't at all think you have lost anything, please don't take offence to this. As such, I'm not going to play word games, when I say deaf community I refer to big D and when I say deaf I refer to little d as the condition, that is going to continue going forward. It minimizes mistakes and prevents me from having to have lowercase characters at sentence starts, and I hope I can be forgiven. I understand the importance of the difference between the two and I know why it's done in context but re-adding that context into every conversation is at best tiring, and at worst gets in the way of the argument.

Okay so with that out of the way we have to do even more preparation (i am so sorry) by breaking down the question because the phrase, "people in the Deaf community are opposed to research and efforts to restore or provide hearing to deaf people" is NEBLOUS in the extreme.

The simple part of it, the essence of the question, about whether the deaf community is against the concept of a "cure" is very true, for the most part, the deaf community are against the concept of a cure because there is no cure for deafness. To ask for one is eugenics, to stop deafness you must stop deaf people from being born or created, neither of which is reasonably practicable without the usage of eugenics. Some people are born deaf and for them, a faculty of hearing can never be created by any means, these people cannot be left out of the conversation nor society as a whole. We WILL NOT be tolerating or condoning eugenics in this, if I see it, you will be forever blocked. Being deaf is a natural state for a lot of people, some born to it, others through accident or as the after-effect of illness. Whether or not deafness is a medical condition is a totally different question and whether there is anything to "restore" in the first place is an even bigger question that is not at all about the semantics of language and culture but of morality itself.

We have to start with a little history because in broad strokes deaf people have been the target of deeply ableist segregation for as long as we have existed. For the history of the first deaf school in my country please visit history-of-place for much more detail than I will add here. To keep it short and essential, through segregation came culture; deaf people found each other. Through shared language and experience a community blossomed and eventually, its own sets of values and beliefs.

A culture was formed as a response to ableism and segregation. Instead of being separated and abandoned, deaf people came together to support one another and find ways to exist fully as ourselves. We created a community so that when people were outcast or cast off from "normal" (hearing) society they had a place to call home, a place they can live and thrive.

Some of the values and beliefs that are inherent to deaf culture are that hearing loss is not a loss at all, it is the entryway to an entirely new way of life, one that is as rich, fulfilling, interesting and valuable, as any other. They believe, rightly so, that their culture is vital to the way of life for deaf people and that it should be protected, but also that the definition of being hearing as normal is a dangerous and false one. Many people are born without the required hardware to be able to hear and to create a society that is completely intolerant of deaf people is to create a society where someone is permanently forced to perform to fit in, they are at a permanent disadvantage when forced to be oral. Without the deaf community, that person will always feel left out, stuck, different and othered.

To a lot of people in the deaf community, the concept of "curing" deafness is deeply offensive. To them, it is not an affliction that should be pitied or altered, it is a simple fact of their body that they embrace, because it is a cultural signifier. They are deaf, they belong to the deaf community, and the deaf community is not something that should be "cured" out of society.

At the root of it all is the belief that people who are deaf should have the choice not to be abandoned by society, and that they should have a place to live, a place to exist. That they should not have to modify their body in order to belong. It is a belief centred on self-autonomy, which is where the moral quandary comes in.

You can see that this sits in pretty stark contrast to mainstream society, where people view deafness as a limiting disability, that to be deaf is to lose your capacity to function in society. This belief is an ableist one. It's similar to the autism community, mainstream society forces us, autistic people, to play pretend and to defer to their culture in order to fit in, they see as us less, as other. Inside autistic society and culture, we don't see ourselves as other, or as less than. We are just ourselves. We think differently to the mainstream and that is in no way a bad thing, it is JUST different.

To get you to see the deaf side of your question for a second, imagine we restructure it to being about an autistic person.

"I have heard that some people in the Autistic community are opposed to research and efforts to restore or provide neurotypical responses to autistic people."

You're starting from the assumption that there is anything to be restored.

Your position with this question is the assumption that hearing is a default when we know that there are a great many types of deafness, some of which that we are born into and that there is no meaningful medical way to create hearing for that person where it would otherwise have never existed in the first place. There is an oft-touted "cure" called the cochlear implant, but if you haven't done research on it yet, you should. The implant is very often MORE disabling than learning sign and joining deaf society, in part because it is an imperfect version of hearing but also because it represents a choice made FOR someone. Adult and young adult adopters of the implant more often than not reject it for the burdensome unintelligible noise generator that it is, due to far too few frequencies and other limitations of the device that we won't get into here. The best time to get an implant is as a child, long and far before the child will have the social awareness of the deaf community or the fulfilling life they can lead inside it, so the best time to get the best use out of the implant is when the child is at their least capable of deciding for themselves.

For a lot of the deaf community this position, that there is something to "cure" is deeply offensive.

As a trans person, I understand to the bottom of my being that people are not necessarily born who they will be when they grow up and that our starting configuration has nothing to do with who or what we are. The deaf community believes this too, by and large.

So it comes down to a moral question. Do you mainstream and force yourself away from a culture you can engage in, forever isolating yourself in a speaking society where you will have limited and othered status, or do you embrace and embed yourself into a subculture where you will be treated as an equal but where you are segregated, externally subjected to ableism and have to learn to interface with the speaking world.

It's a hard decision, right? It's WORSE when you're deciding on behalf of someone else, especially a child. See, most medical interventions in deafness are done on behalf of children, often babies, and they are the start of a pathway, toward the acceptance of the deaf community as a valid, genuine culture, or away and acceptance of a medical condition that can be treated so you can maintain your position in mainstream society no matter how tenuous that position may be.

Some inside the deaf community look at outcomes, some think any procedure at all is bad, some think what can be cured should be cured, and others still HATE the concept of a "cure" at all. I said before there are as many positions on this as there are deaf people and I stand by it.

Personally? I take the view that children who are deaf should be put in deaf schools, should learn the sign of their country, in my case bsl, should be taught to interface with hearing society and should get all the healthcare to ensure their continued existence without pain, suffering or undue harm. I believe that all deferrable interventions SHOULD BE DEFERRED, that they, the deaf person, as an individual, with all the rights and knowledge available of the communities they are choosing to belong to, should be the person to decide on how they are treated and what impact it will have. I have no stance on emergent care, we do what we can to stop people from dying.

I would not choose a cochlear implant for my child, I would educate them and let them choose for themselves. Constructing an ear out of cartilage? I let the child choose. Where possible, I let someone choose for themselves. Bodily autonomy is the most important thing to me.

I hope this helped. Your question is complex because it treats a cultural, ethical and moral question as a purely medical one, which in itself, makes it hard to answer.

[skeletondanc3r]

A little confuses at the moment... Pretty sure I just got blocked by a roleplay blog that wasn't happy about the new COTL art.

I made a joke about how the devs can sometimes wreck headcanons and art blogs kinda have to cope any way they can, but I made sure to note that even though the devs make content about Narilamb, it isn't the "official couple"; you don't have to like it! That'd defeat the whole point of marrying who you want!

I mistook their argument that Narilamb wasn't possible in "their world" as a debate over why some people like it at all, to which I tried to give some reasons as to why, as well as an explanation about COTL's references to various things in mythology since they claimed Christianity wasn't present at all and the art made no sense.

I then realized it was a roleplay blog, apologizing for trying to explain dev stuff/themes and misunderstanding the post. They responded in character, to which I decided to play along (to lighten the mood) and ask if I was going to be sacrificed for speaking such heresy, to which they replied that sacrifices were honorable and that they could just murder me. I then said I'd stay awake so that they couldn't murder me without losing faith.

Then they blocked me.

I'm not sure if they blocked me because I crossed a line/was too rude, to continue being in character, or if they were just mad I was ruining their RP or something.

Not really looking to get anything out of this, just thought it was an interesting experience. I won't mention who it is by name and if they do end up reading this, I'm sorry if I seriously upset you.

[marengogo]

I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE FOR THIS INTERRUPTION TO MY USUAL CONTENT 😌

I was gonna wait a bit longer, but with Hobi leaving tomorrow, I want to concentrate on that, and never have to bring this up after tonight, also I really did think it would all stop last week TBH

Wish I could have had a tête-a-tete with you, @mrs-monaghan, also sorry I tagged you but I am a nobody you don't know and I don't trust DMs, I've recently had one person disappear and because I trust people too much, I didn't SC convos, so I just thought, let me cut to the chase! but I was at work and as you so kindly pointed out, I need to focus when speaking to you, since you couldn't understood what I wrote in my reblog. Alas, english is not my first language, but we are going to make due, I am sure. Even without a translator, right? If not I'd suggest google, it is free and can work sometimes!

Speaking of free resources, the internet has a lot of them, such as dictionaries. Remember how I called you Ms Bla bla bla? Yeah, all that talking for a whole week yet, for the life of me, I coulnd't understand how you could keep misusing the word "bullying". It was just so jarring! Like Gurl! It's not that hard, no cap, I've held this in for like a week now, because I didn't know how to find the correct english words, but I think I have them now so I can finally let it out! Also I thought I'd start Monday with you not misusing that word anymore, but... I promise! Let me help, this is one of the few english words I know the meaning like the back of my hand!

BULLYING - seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable)

Definitions can be hard by themselves, I know learning english was a mission for me! So let me add examples:

If you ever talk about Tae I'll find you and i will break your fingers so bad, you won't be able to write a comment in your life

You worthless double-faced minion, shut the fuck up about Tae

You don't know what you are saying, take it back. You know you are wrong, you can't be thinking like that; there is no way you think you are right?

Does it make sense? If I, for example, decided to block some accounts which, for example, I know were hella double-faced, it was for me. Were any of the blocked told to change their minds? NO. Where they attacked be me explaining why they were blocked? NO. Would it be my fault trying to think about how every person on this planet could perceive my decision? NO. Feel however the fuck you want to feel, but if my mind perceives it to be toxic, I will not stay in toxicity, so I will not have you around me with that shit, is that so hard to understand? Like damn!

A conversation is had between 2 or more people, and believe it or not, people have the right to refuse to talk to you if they don't want to, and in your case you were ACTUALLY given a reason! WHAT MORE DO Y'ALL NEED? People are going to start WW3 with my decision how is that on me? Please. In the same way you, right now, can decide to reply to this post, not, to talk about me in your blog, WHATEVER, it is entirely up to you. Do you! And I can assure you I'll do me. keep going on and on and on and on and on and on misusing the word "bullying" I wont' stop caring because the relief I feel now that I've pointed out it's misuse; I'm ready to learn more english words!!

Tho, part of me would like to have a conversation with you, but I'm so concerned you will not understand anything I say so I can but feel sorry and apologetic. Whereas, on my side, I understood EVERYTHING you've said in your post the past week, and misuse of the word "bullying" aside, I swear it's been a minute since I've encountered someone whom has convinced themselves so hard that they are right, it is kinda scary. Last time it was in a K-drama named the Glory; Park Yeon-Jin. The verbal onslaught resemblance is uncanny if you haven't watched the glory you should, it's amazing!.

Anyways, I just wanted to correct the use of the word, for the rest you are entitled to your opinion so I don't care; definitions though are NOT opinions. I 👏🏾 CAN'T 👏🏾 STRESS 👏🏾 THAT 👏🏾 ENOUGH 👏🏾. Ayte? I'm sure you are well, I'm sure you've surrounded yourself with people you can trust why am I even saying this? Maybe I am being manipulated into saying this? Or maybe not? Which is it??..., so I don't need to wish you to stay healthy, which is correct english for "be well" right? Don't worry, if you ever reply to me, and whenever I reply to you cause to be fair I've had Anons waiting for months, and I am being unfair to them I promise my english will be better!

Always respectfully, and crassily not a word I know yours,

Marengo.

PS - feel free to call me whatever the fuck you want, but calling Megan the Stallion, Lizzo? What have they ever done to you? 👀 Like gurl ...

[anti-ao3]

my experience with ao3

i joined it around 2015 mainly because of an otgw author i followed on tumblr, and since they were very active on ao3 i thought to myself, "why not?". otherwise it took me a whole year to actually post something there. since then i got quite a following for my undertale fics, and later other fandoms such as steven universe.

my fics are, in general, pretty well liked, sometimes even gaining hundreds of kudos. one even got 1k the other day. most nice comments i get are from ao3 users. even then, i never actually interact with them. i rarely reply to comments, nor do i comment myself; i mainly just bookmark the fics i like. i gradually got more wary of the users since the more i tried to consume fics there, the more messed up shit i would find. for instance, a lot of the ppl who read my ut fics were into fontcest and child/adult content, and it was the same thing for the other fandoms i wrote for.

maybe because of my general avoidance, i never had a traumatizing experience on ao3, like many have unfortunately gone through. i have gotten rude comments every now and then, but i was never caught up in grooming or something as such. even still, looking for fics used to be much worse because i wasn't aware of any filtering extensions, nor did ao3 have the "exclude" feature back then, so the great majority of fics i would find was basically pedo/incest/abuse/racist porn. when they did add the "exclude" feature a couple years ago, it became a little less disheartening - while it was still a pain having to exclude 10-20 tags just to get something normal -, but in general i never quite used ao3 to read many fics, only very niche concepts i'm personally fond of. i also always check if the author reads and/or writes any insidious content, so i'm very selective of what i read and who i follow.

the thing that made me create this account, though, was when i wrote a fma 03 fic last year and i included a tag that said "elricests and royeds have no rights and should rot". someone reported me to ao3 and they accused me of harassment, and hid my work until i got rid of the tag. i refused and posted a very heated rant against ao3, which finally got me suspended for months. in the meantime, ao3 began actively deleting works that included any tags that included "x shippers do not interact" or similar. basically, their excuse was "you have to let ppl ship whatever they want. yes, even if it's incest and pedophilia".

at first, when i was angry, i thought of deleting all my works, but after a while, i realized i didn't want to. the reason my account is still up is mainly sentimental. i've been on ao3 for 7 years now, and i did find some good fics and good ppl in there. my fics are very personal to me, so all the positive (and earned) feedback i got means very much to me. i have many fics there, some still ongoing, so i haven't had the courage to delete my account. i guess it's mainly because i never went through something traumatic there, so it's probably easy for me to have these feelings.

i've always been on a little corner on ao3, really. it means a lot to me when ppl find it and decide to stick in. but of course, ao3 has deeply disappointed me in a lot of ways. i'm only still using the site with a grain of salt. sometimes i wish i could let go, but it's really hard for me to do it. maybe one day i will, but for now, i just really wish i could have a safe space where people can enjoy platonic/familial content without any concern.

ao3 is a huge platform nowadays, and a lot of writers i follow and respect use it. i know taking it down is not easy, so i really wish there was a way for us to pressure ao3 to have better moderation - and actually ADD a blocking/muting feature.

i will always stand on the side of minorities, and i hope one day we get justice for all the harmful things ao3 and its users have done to us.

[shatar-aethelwynn]

What "obsession", my dear? You have attacked "The Greek" (!) with absolutely no reason in a comment under a post of one of your friends having as subject something totally irrelevant (the Egyptian faience frog). Who exactly is the obsessed? Anyway, your reply to my last message was very weak and totally beside the point, as you have objected essentially nothing to what I had written. Not that my expectations were much higher, of course. To remind you only one aspect, your friends are in no way specialists in Late Period Egypt (to put it mildly). Moreover, to assess what the classical sources say and their value on any subject, one must have a knowledge and understanding of the context and content of these sources, things that your friends totally lack. So, I repeat my question, on the basis of what expertise exactly do your friends reject totally the classical sources on Late Period Egypt, but also refuse more generally any value to the work of major classical authors? If you search a bit, you will find quite easily that Egyptologists who specialize in the Egypt of Late Period have a much more open-minded approach on this subject and exploit what the classical sources say on Egypt, in combination of course with the Egyptian sources. You will not find many specialists in Late Period Egypt howling in chorus "Herodotus is my b...ch" or "F...k Herodotus", as your friends do on this site, moreover fanaticizing on this topic their ignorant fanbase. However, it seems that you profess that all intellectual authorities may be criticized and even vandalized, except the Supreme and All-Encompassing Egyptological and Historical Authority of your tumblr friends, which is for you absolutely immune to criticism and totally beyond question. And of course you completely failed to grasp my point that not only the ancient Egyptian, but also the cultural heritage and the classics of other peoples deserve respect and should not be vandalized. You don't have either any grasp (again to put it mildly) on the place and importance of the work of the great ancient Greek classics in the cultural heritage of the whole humanity. But I will not continue this interaction with you. I will only suggest that, just for a change, you consider the possibility of stopping being the blind admirer and the maid of your tumblr "academic" friends and of trying to develop some kind of independent personality. Bye and best wishes for your future.

Ah, so it is you. Tell me, have you created another account and are messaging me on anon so no one else can attempt to do to you what you've done to my friends for two. fucking. years. Or have you finally decided I'm worthy of the same lack of respect you have shown to my friends by logging out to message me because I've blocked you?

I have refuted you repeatedly in the past without once changing the point I was making and you proved incapable of reading comprehension then, so why should I bother now? You're just going to ignore anything I say, continue to slander my friends to fuel your self-righteous arrogance, insist that I have wronged you personally without showing any proof that I have done so, and display nothing close to the calm rational discourse you claim to expect from us.

But, once again, because I doubt you remember: I do occasionally use Herodotus in my research, which I have never denied and have stated before. Since I don't study the history of historiography, I don't generally find him to be particularly enlightening. I don't think he's anything important for studying Egypt. He's fine for the Greeks if you ignore the mythological stuff and the heresay, but when there is a conflict between the accounts of the Egyptians and what Herodotus says, Herodotus is wrong. Herodotus is not a trustworthy source for ancient Egypt. He has served his purpose historically and can now bow out of 90% of the Egyptological discourse as either demonstrably wrong or irrelevant. You equate "Herodotus said this sentence", which does appear in many books on Egypt at a lay-reader level because he's a relatively familiar name, with "yeah, you can go trust whatever he says" and no Egyptologist will ever agree with you on that. Especially since those references to Herodotus are rarely more than throwaway lines that could easily be removed from most books without any consequences.

You also still fail to show an understanding of both what historical criticism is and how it actually works, as well as what kind of website you are on.

Oh and congrats on admitting you still hate-read their blogs even though they've blocked you too.

[archonate-seorwen]

In Medias Res: A KOTOR Fanfiction - Chapter Three

The general alarm rang out that night. The Endar Spire was under enemy fire.

The piercing tone of the alarm jolted us all out of our sleep. When I opened my eyes, I immediately saw that the glass screens had been blacked out by the shielding device meant to be automatically released in case of events like the one we were apparently going through.

In the blocks where I was staying, five of my colleagues, including Hannah and Harden, were suddenly awakened. It took no time for them to figure out what was happening and take action. They all somehow magically deserted their bunks and ran out of the dormitory to the area where our equipment was stored. Not quite sure of what to do in such a situation, it took me a few more long, too long seconds to mimic my companions. As I made my way to my own locker, I was sternly challenged by Harden:

« Damn it, do something! It's a general alarm, it's a serious matter! »

I made no reply and struggled to speed up as I feared that my lack of experience would endanger the integrity of the group I belonged to. Hastily, I changed into my armour and firmly grasped a basic sword that had been entrusted to me. I had not been officially allowed to fight with a ranged weapon; although I was not entirely unfamiliar with their operation and use, my limited training had not enabled me to handle these weapons according to the extensive safety requirements of the Republic. I knew how to use them, but I was not allowed to. So I had to rely on melee weapons. As I strapped the scabbard to my belt, a saturated voice echoed throughout our block, and likely resonated throughout the rest of the cruiser:

« General alarm. Mobilisation of the fighting force. General alarm. Mobilisation of the fighting force. »

I rushed to my colleagues who were about to leave the barracks. In the distance I could see our Lieutenant Trask Ulgo, who was already briefing us:

« Ladies and gentlemen. Here's the situation: the Sith have intercepted the Endar Spire. They are pursuing Commander Shan. Lieutenant Onasi has already dispatched a team to escort the Commander to the west wing escape pods. As we speak, they should be very close. You will neutralise any Sith you encounter as you make your own way to the pods. We must protect Bastila Shan at any cost. Is that clear? »

« Aye, Sir! » The whole group shouted together.

« Let's move, then! » Trask Ulgo finished in his inspired voice, taking the lead of our small unit, to get to the intended destination.

As he unlocked the door to the block, which opened onto a wide corridor, sounds of fighting could now be heard. As soon as the door slid wide open, gunfire erupted in the corridor in all directions. We all stayed under cover for a short time and when things got reasonably quiet again, we went into the fight. Soon I spotted five Sith soldiers who had seemingly just taken out two colleagues from another area. Ulgo and my comrades all managed to find places to hide from the imminent Sith fire, and they all readied themselves for their upcoming retaliation. I, on the other hand, felt quite helpless with my simple blade and my inexperience. A little further on, I noticed Hannah waving to me to get to her, which I did.

« Here Corem. » She said, handing me her emergency blaster rifle. « I don't care about those goddamn regulations. The Sith are here, and there's no way I'm leaving you on the front lines without a gun because of some crazy regulations. If we survive and they ever try to charge you, you can say that you have been intimidated. »

I was a little stunned, but nevertheless grabbed the weapon she was holding out to me; a weapon that gave me a rather unexpected, though ultimately very predictable and rightful, comfort.

« Thank you Hannah. » I said gratefully.

The Sith engaged us in combat, and a flurry of lasers again flashed across the corridor in our direction.

Hannah bent down and fired back, shooting one of the Sith in the shoulder. My other colleagues did the same, killing two of the soldiers. As they launched another attack, I chose to crouch slightly and aim at one of the Sith, the one who apparently tried to engage the Lieutenant. I switched my weapon to its most powerful mode and fired the only shot that mode allowed. The power of the laser caused smoke to rise from the barrel and briefly obstruct Hannah's view and mine. When the smoke dissipated, we could both see that I had reached the target. The soldier was lying on the ground, his skull fuming. Hannah briskly faced me and I could tell that she was smiling in awe. She elbowed me and said:

« I knew I was putting this weapon in the hands of someone reliable. »

I gave her a restrained smile, shocked by the appalling sight of the man I had just slaughtered, but also by Hannah's very unsettling display of joy. I was not used to all this. Without wasting any more time, I reset my weapon to its standard function. In a matter of seconds, my companions had shot the last two soldiers, who were apparently unsettled by the particularly brutal death of their partner.

« Come on, let's move! » Lieutenant Ulgo shouted, waving his hand and urging us to follow him. As soon as I caught up with him, he stopped at the sight of me and, and with one hand on my shoulder, he said gratefully:

« Thank you, soldier. »

He then took the lead and proceeded to the nearest escape pods. About ten minutes went by, during which we faced off against dozens of Sith troopers. All of them perished against our group, despite the fact that some of us got injured. In another corridor, we got caught in a tight pincer. On one side, Harden, Hannah and another companion were engaged in battle with four Sith troopers. On the opposite side stood Trask Ulgo, a very young, almost teenage Recruit, and myself; instinctively, we attacked the other three soldiers nearby. However, as we drew closer to our enemies, a shattering explosion broke out, shaking the entire cabin. In the next second, a massive portion of the corridor's steel structure collapsed and separated our group in a much more tangible way. Without really worrying about this for the moment, I took advantage of the thick particle emanation that this collapse had provoked to throw myself at my opponents. This time, I decided to use my saber to better surprise the Sith, who were seemingly confused. Within seconds, I had taken out the soldiers, one by one, with the edge of my blade. Once I was sure there was no one left, I turned back to Trask, who was kneeling near the wreckage, his smoking blaster in his hand. I took the ten steps or so that separated me from him, and found the young Recruit, lying in a pool of his own blood, his trunk, pelvis and legs crushed under the thick metal plates. I also spotted a small round circle on his forehead from which a trickle of blood was leaking. Ulgo gave me a sorry and disillusioned look: he had finished off the boy. Then, without saying a word, the Lieutenant got up and walked a few steps away from the corpse of our companion. Giving death to a Sith was not the easiest of jobs. I couldn't even imagine the pain of having to give it to one of your men.

I stood there, my eyes locked on the young soldier, and yet in a kind of absence. I was told that I would only be asked if the situation was desperate... I never thought that I would have the misfortune to be caught up in such a scenario. Why did I engage in this mess? What could have been going through my mind? Obviously, I was not one of those who could tolerate the prospect of death. And yet I was standing in the middle of a war scene, worthy of the most violent holofilms. I had to escape from these concerns. They were nothing but a waste of time. I must not allow my emotions to get the better of me, my task was not over. Suddenly, voices called out to us from the other side of the collapse:

« Lieutenant! Can you hear us? » A frightened Harden asked.

« I can hear you. What is your situation? »

« We're safe now. We have neutralized the Sith. We're going to clear the way. »

« No! » Ulgo retorted. « There is no time. You'll have to take another way. Go to the east wing pods, that's the best you can do. »

There was an uncomfortable silence. I felt bad about such a decision, which many would describe as cruel. However, from a military perspective, it was very sensible. We could not afford to waste any more time. Bastila Shan was the priority. Not Hannah or Harden, or any other ordinary serviceman.

« Aye, Lieutenant. We're on our way. » Hannah's voice declared. She sounded confident and extremely competent, as she always did. She hadn't been given the order, but I knew she was going to take the lead of their group from now on. A wave of anxiety ran through my body right then - I was afraid. . I feared for Harden. I feared for Hannah. I was worried for her husband and daughters, who might soon be told some very sad news.

« Come on, Recruit! » The Lieutenant said to me. I struggled out of my daze and moved on with the man.

We were no longer too far from the pods. Luckily we had not come across any other Sith units, only a few individuals here and there who were apparently trying to stay out of the fight. But we had to deal with them, and we had eventually brought down about six more soldiers. We were getting close. We had to hold on. The pods were only a corridor and a few rooms away. As we ran through a small infirmary, we were stopped in our rush by a particularly fearsome-looking man wearing metal armour. He was rather tall, with a slender build. His face was almost sickly pale, greatly enhanced by a completely bare skull, and he had a pair of gloomy eyes. He did not pay us any immediate attention. When we came across him, he looked rather interested in something on the ground. Or rather someone. Then I saw him raise his head to us, and after running his fingers along his black goatee, he smiled in satisfaction.

« Gentlemen. » He greeted in a deceptively warm voice. « One down. » The man pointed to what he was dealing with before we walked in. It was a corpse. A woman. A Jedi. The one who accompanied the Commander. « Where are the others? » The man then asked, as he stepped towards us. With his right hand he lifted a remnant of cloth hanging from one of the metal straps of his armour, and picked up a cylindrical object. « Where is Bastila Shan? »

He questioned impatiently now, still walking in our direction. In no time I caught sight of my Lieutenant moving up between me and the man. In the process, he seized my sword and took up an offensive position in front of the opponent, which made him laugh.

« Take the chamber on the right! » Trask Ulgo then ordered me. « It will make the way a little longer, but you will get to your destination soon. I'll lock the door as soon as you leave. Find your Commander, soldier! Go! »

Despite the shock of the moment, and of the words spoken by my superior, I resolved that there was no longer room for reflection on my actions. I had been given an order, I had to comply, that' s all. Not wasting any more time, I broke into a brisk stride and walked out of the small infirmary, abandoning Ulgo to this unknown man. As the door closed behind me, I could hear an unusual, yet very telling sound: the unmistakable whir of a lightsaber. So that's what he had unbuckled from his belt. There was no chance for Trask. But I had to hurry, otherwise the Sith would have my life, too. I sprinted with all my might through the maze of rooms. I put so much energy into it that when I opened the very last door to the pods, I collapsed from physical and mental exhaustion.

Yet a pressure on my shoulder snapped me out of my lethargy. I instinctively seized the source of this sensation and readied myself for a fight with this mysterious individual I hadn't even noticed. But when I lifted my eyes, I could see the rather startled face of Lieutenant Onasi. In a smooth gesture, he knelt down to my level.

« Calm down, Galhor, calm down. » He spoke calmly. « I was waiting for some others to join the pods. Are you alone, Galhor? »

I stared at the man blankly, wide-eyed. I just nodded in response. He sighed defeatedly and then stood up.

« Then there is no time to be lost here. Come on, Recruit. There are still a few pods left, we have to get off the ship once and for all. Bastila has apparently made it to our wing. The last pods were released about twenty minutes ago. They must have already made their way to Taris. We should not delay any longer, let's go and find Bastila. »

The man walked over to me and extended a supportive hand, which I immediately took. I followed my superior into one of the remaining pods, out of breath. We sat down and strapped ourselves in at full speed. Then Carth released the safeties and our pod was almost as quickly ejected from its metal alveolus, slamming us violently into our seats. Before the pod penetrated the atmosphere of Taris, I was able to witness the sorrowful scene of the Endar Spire slowly but surely tumbling into pieces. I had high hopes that our companions would be able to make it to the east wing, and to the pods that awaited them. However, there was a part of me that was sure that I would never know the answer. As another minute passed, I was pulled out of my thoughts by a series of violent jolts, each one more intense than the last. We were now entering the atmosphere. In the row of seats facing me I could see Carth clinging as tightly as he could to his safety collar. I was trying to do the same.

But suddenly everything went black, silent, non-existent. After all these perils, dying like this was very ironic.

Pain. It was spreading throughout my skull at a frantic speed. It was burning my eyes. It was an agony... But could it... Could it mean that I was alive? Did I survive? Or maybe I was still in a coma? Perhaps all this was just a giant fiction that my brain had invented. If only it were true.

« Hey. »

A voice.

Onasi?

« Galhor, open your eyes. »

I knew I had to do something. I had no idea how much time had passed before I reacted to Carth's request. At last, however, I opened my eyes, though with considerable struggle, and laboriously attempted to rise up from my lying position. I immediately felt Carth's arm supporting my back, and assisting me in this perilous yet insignificant effort. My eyes were partially clouded. I could not yet inspect the place where the Lieutenant and I were staying. All I could say was that we were not outdoors. I could distinguish the walls, the ceiling and the windows which were seemingly covered by blackout curtains. Gradually my eyes regained their abilities, and I was able to identify what looked like a table, chairs, a couple of benches, and a few bunks. I was still very confused. So much so that for a moment I was convinced that I was on the Endar Spire, questioning the reality of all the events I had previously experienced.

« Here. » A thoughtful Carth Onasi uttered, extending a glass of water to me.

I looked at the man for a couple of seconds, a little bewildered, but finally picked up the object and brought it to my trembling lips.

« Drink in small sips. » The man beside me advised, and I complied.

« You worried me, Galhor. For a time I thought you would never wake up. »

I was listening to my superior with trouble. I could hear the words he was saying, but I could not put them together and process them effectively. Without responding to his statements, I nevertheless tried painfully to speak:

« Where are we? »

« Taris. We crashed in the lower city. You passed out when we entered the atmosphere. The concussion was very strong. Your head took a nasty blow and you fell into a deep unconscious state. »

I tried to focus on Carth.

« Do you remember what happened? » The Lieutenant asked almost abruptly. I gave him a quizzical look, prompting him to clarify his thoughts. « I have heard some details about you. I believe that this is not your first time having been struck on the head. And I also believe that you are still suffering from the consequences. »

My eyes finding my hands, I drew a short breath before answering. Now I was taken back to that accident, to my long recovery, to my memory loss... I had no clear recollection of what I had experienced, which made the reality of this moment even more intangible and unacceptable. I failed to mourn a part of my memory, and therefore a part of my life. It made no sense, yet it was real.

« I am no more of a cripple than I once was, don't worry Lieutenant. » I eventually said, sounding defensive. Something that Carth apparently perceived.

« I am simply asking how you are doing, Corem. » My superior retorted with gentle, warm familiarity.

« I still feel pretty shaken up, but I think I'm okay, Lieutenant. » I explained in a much friendlier tone. Onasi flashed a benevolent smile. He was obviously relieved to hear this good news. « Where are we now exactly? » I continued.

« In an old abandoned apartment. When the pod crashed in the lower city, I hurried to get us out. The gangs have taken over this whole part of Taris. The escape pods belonging to a Republican battlecruiser that crashed are a great chance for them to loot and capture. Not to mention the Sith lockdown that was set up during the Endar Spire attack. They were happily waiting for the pods to land to pick up the survivors. » Carth suddenly looked very concerned. What happened to Bastila Shan? Nevertheless, he quickly recovered his composure and went on:

« I carried you to the upper city. In mid evening, we certainly drew a bit of attention, but many thought I was simply taking a drinking buddy home. At worst, we gave a lot of Tarsians a good laugh. »

We both smiled in amusement.

« I wandered around the upper city. Then I ventured into this building, which, although it was not totally insalubrious, was not particularly well maintained. As I explored, I found this apartment with its door half open. I didn't think twice. I moved us in. I figured that if someone was going to come back here... well, they'd kick us out, end of story. But no one has ever come here so far, except the two of us. Four days have passed and here we are, talking. »

« I've been out that long? » I asked disbelievingly.

« Yes. »

I sighed, then added gratefully: « Thank you, Lieutenant. I owe you my life. »

« No need to thank me. I'm just doing my job. I never leave anyone behind. »

His last words brought a sharp twinge of regret throughout my body. He was sending Trask Ulgo's sacrifice and the loss of all my companions right back at me. Of course I should not blame myself, but it was hard not to bear some of the responsibility. I took Carth's words as a judgment, even though the poor man had no idea of what had happened on the cruiser.

« What now? » I asked wearily.

« Now that you are awake, and apparently in good health, I will go and get some information about the crash of the other pods. Let's not fool ourselves. If Bastila is still alive, she must have been captured by the gangs. »

« Or by the Sith. » I retorted.

« No. If they did, they would have all left Taris long ago. We have to bet on the gangs. Or something else. But, surely, the Sith haven't caught up with her. Not yet. »

« Perhaps she managed to escape from her capsule and get to safety. » I added.

Carth looked pensive for a couple of seconds. As he began to stand up, he replied:

« I don't even know if that's an option I like better, to be perfectly honest. If she's hiding somewhere, finding her will be much more challenging than if she's been captured by the gangs. In any case, I understand that they are the ones who can give us valuable information. The lower city is their territory, so they must know everything that's going on down there. I need to know how to get there. The Sith have blocked all access. »

Carth stepped away from me and I watched as he grabbed his familiar orange jacket and quickly put it on. Instinctively I rose from the bunk on which I had spent the last four days, and made ready to join my superior. But as I struggled to get my boots on, Carth gave me a sort of muffled whistle. I turned back to him in confusion.

« You stay here. You have emerged from your sleep, yet you are in no condition to explore the surroundings. Stay here. There is a small supply of food in one of the lockers in the kitchen area. Get your energy back if you want to be useful later on. »

The Lieutenant concluded by giving a friendly smile. Then he left the apartment, in search for any information that might lead us to our Commander. For my part, I complied with the orders and remained in the building. I went through the locker and retrieved a handful of biscuits, some fruit and several pieces of dried meat. I grabbed a portion of these and a piece of fruit, which I happily snacked on one of the benches. I enjoyed the peace and quiet of the place for a while, before starting to get to work.

Carth returned in about two hours. As he stepped through the doorway he took off his jacket and laid it casually on the back of one of the chairs around the round table at which I was now sitting. Then he looked at me and sighed wearily before taking his seat.

« Have you learned something? »

I asked in a rejuvenated voice. The man gazed at the tabletop for a moment, then replied very factually:

« I am sorry to call on you so soon: you are invited to a little party tonight. »

I lifted my eyes and frowned tightly. Then I scanned the room, in the vain hope that I might discover the connection that would make me understand what Carth was saying. Sadly, nothing came, and Carth spoke again:

« The gangs were the first to get to the pods. They robbed everything that could be robbed and they captured all the survivors. »

« Is the Commander one of those survivors? » I questioned. Carth gritted his teeth before replying:

« I don't know for sure. But I have heard of an upcoming swoop racing event in the lower city, hosted by a gang called the Black Vulkars. This is said to be the 'final' race of the season, which was suddenly rushed forward when the pods crashed. »

« What is your point? » I asked.

« I was told that they were going to give out a very special prize this season. I thought it might be Bastila, although I didn't really believe it. Then someone mentioned a 'very high ranking official of the Republic'. When Bastila left the Endar Spire, she was wearing the uniform, and the leadership insignia. They must have found her, captured her, and put her up as a prize for the winner of this upcoming race. »

I nodded slightly, lost in thought. What he was saying made some sense. However, it was a rather fragile hypothesis. But there was no other option.

« Strange customs. » I added quietly, my gaze still unfocused. All of a sudden I snapped out of my reflections and stared straight at my superior:

« What about this party...? » I asked. Carth could not hide a subtle smile before delivering an explanation.

« We need to go to the lower city. We need to make sure what I suspect. If it turns out to be true, we need to be there the day of the race, and before the Sith become involved. We have to get in touch with the pilots, the staff, but most importantly the prize. And we can' t just walk into the lower city as we please. While wandering around, I met a drunken young woman working for the Sith, a certain Sarna. She invited me to a party organised by the Sith. This would be a great opportunity to obtain passes. »

« So you're the one who's invited. » I rectified as I gestured with my hand, aiming at the Lieutenant.

« Yes, but I won't go. » The man replied at first, his eyes on me.

« Sarna got completely hammered. She couldn't even bother to put a name to my face. I'm not some great celebrity, but if I ever step into a place full of Sith, surely someone will identify me. »

« How is your girlfriend going to react when she sees me on the doorstep, when she's waiting for you? We wouldn't be so easily confused. »

« Play it smart! » He said in a playful tone. I could almost believe that he was entertained by the situation. « You say you're this fancy guy she met in the cantina in the upper city, and that she invited him. Drunk as she was, there's a good chance she'll be fooled by your eloquence. »

I observed my superior with false offence. For a moment the man, holding my gaze, looked quite confused. Then, abruptly, his features relaxed, and he burst into a somewhat embarrassed laugh.

« I wasn't implying that you had no natural charisma, Corem. » The soldier defended himself, hardly able to contain his laughter. I went along with the man rather pleasantly. This kind of lightness brought a certain degree of comfort to our gloomy situation.

« And, if it makes you feel any better, she's invited a whole bunch of other nobodies tonight. » The man stated before reaching into one of his pockets and pulling out a tiny data card, which he handed to me:

« The holy key to the reception. » He said. « It contains the details of the event, which you can access from the terminal of the apartment. Once you get to the location, you will give the card to someone in charge and they should let you in without you even needing to convince anyone. »

I grabbed the card and squeezed it between my fingers. Carth gave another muffled laugh, drawing my attention.

« I'll stop teasing you now: in truth, it's a mundane gathering of Sith dignitaries and unscrupulous Republican officials. I doubt you'll even run into Sarna, considering how crowded it'll be. »

« Why didn't you tell me that immediately? » I asked back a little relieved, slipping the card into a pocket. « So it's time to go and charm all those ruffians. »

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Four here!

[bfdreaming]

@harpyhormones, I can see that you replied, in which you directly addressed me as if you were talking to me, but either Tumblr is glitching or you immediately blocked me so I can't read the whole thing.

What I can see is, "You know you can just not do that. You don't even have to check" and I assume you are referring to casual use of the word "dude" as an exclamation.

And uh. No, actually. I will try to be more careful not to use it in a way that can be misunderstood as an address, but no, I'm not going to just remove a perfectly innocent word from my vocabulary on the off chance someone sees it that doesn't like it. It's not a slur. For fuck's sake.

I don't demand that people stop using "girl" altogether just because it hurts. "Girl" is a very painful word for me! If someone seems to have addressed me as "girl," and seems like they might be receptive to correction, I just... ask them not to, politely, with no accusations of malice, and certainly without any attacks on their marginalized identity. Because what the fuck.

Even a rude correction would have been fine tbh and I wouldn't have commented on it. But no, you went to my blog, looked at my bio, and went, "Ah yes, queer, let's work this in." You know, queer, the word and identity whose usage has been policed by radfems on this hellsite that would definitely say an agender person is not allowed to reclaim it. Queer, the only people that stood up for aspecs when bigots destroyed our community on tumblr. This is the word you took issue with.

You don't have to accept my apology. But you don't get to come after queer. Fuck you.

Edit: Or you meant I could just not put my gender and pronouns in my bio, which is absolutely true, but in that case I also could not reasonably expect people to KNOW my gender and pronouns. But apparently you don't have a problem doing exactly that so maybe that's what you were saying, idk.

[mostlygibberish]

I feel like after blocking some people just now it's a good time to remind you all that if you're a homophobe, transphobe, misogynist, racist, anti-vaxxer, anti-abortion, or just a general right wing bigot, you should unfollow and block me.

I don't like you, as a person. This isn't up for debate, I just personally have decided you're an asshole and don't want you around.

You should work on not being those things, because they make you a shitty person, but I'm not here to educate you or engage with your “reasoning”. I don't need to be the better person or adhere to your concept of respectable discussion to tell you to fuck off. Just go away.

[bellarkeselection]

Wolf Sword

Part 2

Part 3

The oldest daughter of Ned Stark has been married to Jaime for 5 years. The pair spar with swords before riding to Winterfell. Hoping her family will welcome her home.

"Relax your dominant arm, Y/n." Jaime instructs as I swing with my right arm out more even though I'm holding the sword in both hands. "If you use the same move all the time you're opponent can learn which arm is the weakest." Our swords smack against each other before gently shoves me backwards in the training yard that overlooks the water outside of the Red Keep.

Today exactly mark's 5 years since I left Winterfell and became future lady Lannister of Casterly Rock. Wife to Jaime Lannister, who used to be a member of the Kings Guard. Earned the nickname Kingslayer after killing the Mad King. King Robert Baratheon released him from his vows to strike an alliance with my father his dear friend, Eddard Stark. I'm the oldest child of the Stark's but Robb will become Lord and Warden of the North. Going from being a sixteen year old to a married twenty-one year old woman, a lot has changed.

I spin in my boots wearing a tunic and trousers with my hair partly pulled back as I take a swing at him. He sees the attack and dodges to take a swing at my side but misses. A year after we had been married I convinced him to teach me how to swing a sword. The whole marriage went pretty well for the most part he told me that he had an affair with his sister and that her children were not Robert's, but after that we've never kept anything secret. My sister in-law, Cersei has made attempts to get him back but he's brushed her off every single time.

"Jaime?" I grunt taking another swing at him. He swung back circling me to make our sword press against one another for a moment. "Yes, my darling." He steps back a little sword still raised as I get back in a fighting stance. "I'm nervous for my arrival home. What if my family despises me for being a Lannister now?"

I raise my sword trying to strike him but he lightly elbows me in my side to strike me from below. But as I've said it's been 5 years to learn his moves. I switch my sword to my left hand for a moment to knock his away. "You're form is better than the last time." He complimented to my reply. "Thanks -uh!" I grunted out pressing my sword against his. He pressed his sword against mine never losing gaze with mine. His green eyes holding love with his face remaining the serious one he uses in battle. We never break the hold on each other as he finally answers my earlier question.

"I don't see a reason why they'd despise you. You are still their daughter after all. Just because you were married of to me shouldn't change anything. Besides hopefully they'll see I was a good match for you, a good choice they made." I softly corrected his words. "It wasn't so much a choice since Robert is king and can order anything of a lord of lady." Jaime nods his head the wind blowing his long blonde locks. "Fair enough, my wolf. But we grew to love this arrangement none the less. Especially behind closed doors." He smiled softly showing his bright smile making me blush.

"Jaime, I-uh..." He started to loosen his hold on his sword when we pushed the other back but suddenly he knocked my sword from my left hand, knowing we both are dominant in our right hands. I dodge his next attack to reveal a dagger from inside my boot and block his sword coming down on me. "Impressive, lady Y/n." He parts his lips when I push his sword down getting up from being on my knees. "Thank you, my Lord."

He smirks tugging me to his chest by my shirt. Without a second thought my arms wrapped around his neck once I hide the dagger again. He puts his sword in his holder on his belt, resting his hands on my hips. "Tell me wherever did you learn that?" I tilted my head to the side grinning proudly that I'd impressed the eldest Lion. "A Stark has to always be prepared. Winter is coming."

"Well said, my love. But I do believe I owe you a reward, for winning the fight." I lean up on tippy toes since he's taller than me. "And what might that be, my lion?" He leans down allowing me to rest my feet flat on the ground once more. His breath mixing with mine as he captures my lips with his own. "A Lannister always pays his debt after all." He vows once we break for air but I pull him in for another kiss that gets more passionate when I tug at his golden locks and his hands run up my sides to cup my face in his hands. We would've stayed like this for much longer if it wasn't for someone interrupting.

"My lord, my lady?" A servant bows at us as we broke the kiss. "I'm terribly sorry to intrude but I was sent to inform you that the royal family is ready to depart and your horses are ready." Whipping my head up at my husband I beamed with joy. "Horses. Meaning I don't have to ride in a carriage with your sister?" Jaime brushed loose hair from in front of my eyes smiling. "Yes, darling. I figured you'd want to ride alongside me and the King." I hugged his side happily before we headed into the castle to get changed.

Truth be told Jaime hated the North because of always being cold. So used to the warm climate of Kings Landing. But I was prepared without a thought. A saddled up horse, a sword attached to my hip and wearing a dress of gold silk, some of my hair braided into a crown. "I do believe you're missing something, lady Y/n." Jaime's voice approached me as I see he's holding something behind his back, now wearing his old Kings Guard armor under the kings approval. "Why my lion whatever could I have forgotten?" I asked playfully with a smile.

"I do believe this..." He reveals my Winterfell cloak I wore when I moved to Kings Landing. It was the only thing I had been allowed to bring with me. The cloak is covered with brown and grey fur with the Stark direwolf symbol on the clip. Dismounting my horse I squealed as he sets it on my shoulders allowing me to clip it together myself. "I can't believe you kept it. I thought all reminence of me being a Wolf was gone." He rests a hand to my cheek. "You may no longer bare the Stark name but it's still a part of you. May I?" He holds out his open palm to help me back onto my horse before climbing on his white horse.

He puts his helmet over his head while I feel his sister's evil gaze burning in the back of my head knowing she saw Jaime and me actually enjoying ourselves. Grabbing the reigns of my horse gently I tugged them forward following Jaime on the road to my former home. A concerned feeling in my gut that my family will treat me differently since I've been a Lannister.

Part 2 upcoming

Part 3 will be written if requested

Comment and Reblog 😊

[skiyoosmi]

post-break up heartaches

verse 1. in the car that used to drive us to our home

⤷ kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru — more characters coming soon

⤷ verse 2 | verse 3

⤷ play. never let me go by ghostly kisses, forget about us by clinton kane

commissions: open

⇢ KUROO sighs for the umpteenth time of the day. he was so fucking exhausted and his body's about to give in to sleep any moment now. work has been beating his ass; there was this newbie who kept on messing up the documents needed by the board and for the whole day, he had to be the one to fix said issues. it's not like he wasn't paid enough for that; if anything, his paycheck was one of the most beautiful things he laid his eyes on— but god, even his body has its own limits and yet...

"ya.... yer not supposed to do this anymore. y-ya left me, remember?" you slurred, index finger pointing right at his chest as he circled his arms around your waist, huffing as you practically dropped all your weight on him. here he was, suddenly given the task of having to take you home after your supposed-to-be designated driver, miya fucking atsumu, also drank his brains out with you.

"be patient. still heartbroken because of you, y'know?" kenma softly tells him despite the tipsy feeling lurking in the back of his mind, shaking his head as he looked at you, whose system finally shut down and were now dozing off in the black haired man's arms.

"..... still?" he mumbles, looking down at your figure and he feels his heart contract with pain all over again.

"you can't expect her to be fine immediately, kuroo. it was your wedding day, supposed to be the greatest day of her life and yet it became the worst one... you left her at the altar alone."

he didn't reply anything— or rather, he was unable to. because what can he say to refute the truth? nothing. instead, he proceeded to his car with you still in his hold. he places you on the passenger seat, locking the seatbelts before jogging to the driver's side.

the car ride was calm as you slept soundly with your head occasionally hitting the window lightly as it swayed from side to side. he was sure as hell that if you were sober right now, you wouldn't even have the thought of seeing him cross your mind. he just knows for sure that you despise him with your whole being... at least, that's what he thought until...

"i'm sorry, tetsu. please come back," you whimper in your seat, voice quiet but he heard it nonetheless, "tell me what i did wrong so i can fix it."

the pitiful sounds and mumbles you made struck kuroo right in the heart and which makes him pull over an empty but safe road, just a block away from your (previously shared) apartment. looking over your form, he finds himself reaching out to touch your face, caressing your cheeks as drops of tears fell down slowly on them, "you didn't do anything wrong. you were fine. you were so perfect."

you squint your eyes at him, probably wondering if this was real or just a part of your drunken imagination. nonetheless, you hiccuped, "y-you... you left me and i... i still can't even bring myself to hate you... i just wanna ask you why? i just want to understand."

he thought he also knew the reason why but every single time he thinks about it, he's only led to one conclusion: because he was a coward. no way was this any of your fault— it's definitely not your fault that right at that moment, as he stared at the mirror, wearing the black suit you chose for him, the sudden fear of commitment loomed over him. it's not like it was your fault he suddenly got scared of losing you the way his parents lost each other. but now he thinks it's ironic, because he lost you anyway.

maybe... just maybe, if he had just met you where you stood at the altar, instead of leaving you alone in it, maybe he would've been happier. maybe his days would've started more with a smile from you as you helped him fix his necktie before going to work. maybe, the working hours he spends in the shitty corporate world would've been more worth it if it meant he can come home to you at the end of the day. maybe... maybe he wouldn't have to be stuck with this lump in his throat as he wonders what could've been happening if he just chose to show up and vowed his life to you.

but he didn't.

"i realized i wasn't just ready to tie my life with anyone yet. that's all there is to it, yn."

so with a heavy feeling stuck in his chest and a quiet promise to never see you again for the sake of not hurting you further, he starts the car's engine again, ignoring the words you replied but he was sure they will haunt him for a very long time... again.

i can wait for you no matter how long it takes, tetsu, you know that.

⇢ OIKAWA gives you what seems like a guilty smile as he stands in front of you, opening his arms and gesturing you to come closer. but the stoic expression on your face takes him back to the reality that the last thing you wanted to do today was to actually fetch him from the airport. it just so happens that his three best friends were caught up with work that they had no choice but to send you, the main ex-bestfriend slash ex-girlfriend, to him.

why did you agree when you practically loathe him with your whole being? well, it was probably because you weren't the devil who would reject your friends when they were literally on their knees as they begged you and for some reason, you thought he'll look pitiful going back to his home country after five years with no one to welcome him. yeah, that's it. it's not like you're still in love with him or anything.

"my car's just around the corner," you begrudgingly walk towards the car park with him quietly following. at the moment, he knew better than to get on your nerves or else there would be war. he hates that this happened to the both of you but he can't blame anyone else but himself. because who wouldn't hate their ex-boyfriend if they suddenly broke up with them over a phone call?

tension filled the car as you both sat beside each other. perhaps, this was what other people were talking about when they say that it's impossible for exes to be friends again, to not feel any awkwardness because you were sure as hell that the word "awkward" was an understatement of your situation right now. nevertheless, your eyes couldn't help but wander to his figure as he adjusted his body, opting for a more comfortable position in the passenger's seat.

he looked more youthful and you felt bittersweet— proud that his whole aura screams of "success" which meant that gone were the days where he longed to get that winter cup trophy, nor the times when he overworked himself and put a strain on his knee which led to countless arguments with you. if anything, he looked happier and it sucks because you're not even close to feeling that way... not without him.

"i heard you've finally gotten yourself your own condominium? that's great, yn!" he exclaimed as soon as you began driving to your destination, a hope lit within him that maybe you might just respond to him. just one smile, that's all i need, he thinks.

but you remain focused on your driving, choosing to reply with a single nod and a soft "yeah..."

disappointment fills his heart as he faces the truth that your relationship has really been ruined, along with your friendship. all because he was foolish to think that he couldn't handle the physical distance between you two. realization dawns upon him that he just made that same distance worse as you pull your heart further away from him.

"... i actually bought it for the two of us, you know?" he whips his head to your direction in surprise, heart clenching as he watch you let out a sad chuckle, "i just... i thought it would be nice if we had a place to permanently stay at and for you to have a home to go to when you're at japan. but yeah... i guess things doesn't go our way sometimes, does it?"

"i'm sor—"

"it's okay. i'm fine now," you quickly reply, shaking your head but keeping your eyes on the road. he tries to ignore the tears that start to form in them because he has no right to stop them, knowing full well that he was the one who caused them in the first place.

as if on cue, you halt your vehicle in front of a familiar apartment and much to your dismay, you find yourself looking back in the past when you used to live in that same place, making wonderful memories with the chocolate haired lad with you. you clear your throat to stop the sob that desperately attempts to escape your throat, "uhm... we're here."

"oh, yeah. we're here," he numbly states, already missing you despite the mere inches of space separating the two of you. you just felt so far away and he hates it. but this was the path he chose so he gets out of your car along with his things, turning to you once more, "uhh... thanks for the ride, yn. i know you probably hate me but yeah... it's very nice of you to put that past us and i guess i just want to say sorry for hurting you... i just..."

"i don't hate you, tooru," you softly tell him, "i just don't want anything to do with you anymore. to see you this happy, without me, is like a slap in the face because i'm not. it still hurts and i'm not fine. i just hope this will be the last time we'll see each other. be safe on your trip back to argentina. welcome home."

and with that, you start the car's engine again, no longer having the energy nor the strength to hear his reply. but he wishes you did because as he watches your car drive further away from him, he can't help but wish that he can take back time so that you don't have to go to that condominium and instead, go inside the home you once shared with him.

but i'm not happy, yn. because how could i call this place my home when you're not here with me?

at that moment, unbeknownst to the two hearts that long for each other break at the same time, you finally let out the tears and cries that you've been keeping since you saw him, knowing that no matter how much you try, you'll never be as happy as you were with him— simply because he left you with a hole in your heart that no one else can fill.

© SKIYOOSMI, 2021. reposting, translating, editing, copying and any kind of plagiarism are strictly prohibited, thank you.

[mack3030]

Imagine being wrong and then blocking someone...

Imagine the gal of replying to a post someone makes calling you on your shit and then blocking them. Oh honey, class act!

Let's talk about your "excuses" for using ad*fly and why they won't hold water:

1) Being a poor student does not give you the right to risk people's safety. Period. As a student, you should know how important a laptop or desktop is for getting schoolwork and other "work" done. So why risk the laptops and desktops of OTHER people just so you can get the 0.05 cents per click you'd make from ad*fly? If you want some proof of how AD^FLY is dangerous, why don't you do some looking into the following blogs: HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE

2) The argument of "It's always worked for me, so it must apply to everyone" is so fucking dangerous I can't even begin to explain. This would be like saying "Oh, since my natural immunity has protected me so long against COVID-19, it must also work for everyone else too!" This is the sort of logic that leads to people dying. 3) You honestly want to act as though patreon is scummy? Like, early access isn't a thing. And yes, I'm not a fan of permapaywall builders either and I have talked about that (HERE) but there ARE some builders who are early access. {Case in point?@beansbuilds,@gawdlysims ,@sierrathesimmer} Why can't you do patreon early access? Surely you'd make more off your sets from that than the 0.5 cents you'd make from ad*fly. Or even better, do a donation link like a ko-fi or some other form of donation where people can choose to support you? 4) Also the "ways to avoid ad.fly" aren't always as easy to install or figure out as some people would hope. For example, Universal Bypass, which I have, involves having a file directory somewhere on your computer at all times. If you accidentally delete the program directory "poof" the "extension" is gone. And unlike other programs, since it's basically an unoffical chrome extension, you have to install that directory yourself. Which may not be as easy for some who aren't tech savvy. Now I'm here talking about this as if you'll actually see this (which you probably won't since you blocked me, unless one of your friends/followers screenshots it!) but you really need to work on having a decent reason for being such a jerk. Because all of your excuses don't hold water. Here's the thing that pisses me off in general about creators who paywall in the sims 4 community. They act as is their bad/shitty circumstances give them the excuse to treat other people like shit. Having issues paying the bills? Permapaywall stuff so people can't access your stuff unless you pay. A student who can't get a student job? Put everything behind ad$fly and risk giving people viruses. Living in a country that's in an economic downturn? Time to rip meshes other people made from secondlife/imvu and sell them as sims 4 cc, damn the original creator. Meanwhile, I know so many other wonderful sims 4 creators who are going through just as bad circumstances who are CHOOSING to not treat the community like shit. @anachrosims has mounting vet bills and a dying laptop, yet she's not putting her CC behind ad*fly. @oswanily has had to open up comissions due to monetary concerns, yet she's still not permapaywalling her CC. I could go on and ON about simmers who have had to ask for the kindness of other players to help make ends meet who DIDN'T treat the community like crap to do so. It's the whole "I'm miserable so I need to make everyone else pay for my misery" for me. The fact that your situation means you CHOOSE to treat a community badly, steal, or put people's safety at risk instead of choosing other, ETHICAL ways to deal with your situation pisses me off. Those with the strongest character are those who refuse to hurt others when they are hurting, or in tough situations. There are resources, and kind and giving people who will help you out without having to paywall to get their assistance. Really showing the class here Novvas, oh and by the way, who wants to bet the reason tumblr nuked your first account was because you posted your ad*fly links on there?

[holden-caulfield]

Let's Make A Deal

↪︎ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Summary: draco and reader get hurt during a quidditch match and they wake up in the hospital wing together.

Warnings: mentions of blood (nothing too graphic i think, but if you're not ok with it don't read this!)

Word Count: 2040

This idea came to me unexpectedly and i thought it was really cool. I hope you think so too :)

//

It was the day of the match: gryffindor vs slytherin. The stalls were filled with hundreds of people sporting the colors of the two teams, creating two giant moving blocks of red and green. The teams were already hovering on their brooms throughout the entire pitch and with them, you. You were one of the chasers for the gryffindor team, fast and agile, second only to Harry Potter who dashed through the air at the speed of lightning.

On the other team, the slytherins were getting ready, trying to intimidate your squad with all kinds of dirty looks. They did in fact intimidate you, but not because of their mean glares, because you knew they would have been ready to do anything to win. Much was at stake that day: the victory, the quidditch cup and honor.

When Madame Hooch blew the whistle, everyone sprinted for their respective balls: you went for the quaffle. The game was going smoothly, maybe even too smoothly as you and the other chasers kept on scoring for gryffindor. The reason, as you soon noticed, was because the bludgers weren't hindering you: one of them was currently being thrown around by Fred and George while the other one was ruthlessly pursuing the slytherin seeker, Draco Malfoy. A rogue bludger, you reckoned.

The seeker was trying desperately to get rid of it, but no matter how hard he tried, the bludger was always hot on his tail.

"What are you doing, y/l/n?!" shouted Oliver Wood from his post in front of the giant hoops as you stopped in mid-air to look at Harry and Draco being mercilessly chased by the big iron ball.

"That's a rogue bludger, we have to stop the game!"

"You can't stop quidditch! Plus, it's only helping us, keep scoring!" you scowled at Oliver knowing that nothing was more important than winning the cup for him and resumed the game, but as you took hold of the quaffle, the bludger snapped past you, almost making you lose control of your broom. The slytherin beaters had managed to free Draco from the rogue bludger, but it wasn't long until the ball chased him again.

Both Draco and Harry had now seen the golden snitch and were sprinting to grab it before the other.

"Malfoy!" you shouted at the top of your lungs, but it was of no use. The sudden distraction of the snitch made Draco forget about the bludger that hit him square in the head, causing him to fall down towards the ground at a frightening pace. You rushed towards the boy without a second thought: he might have been your opponent, but such a fall could have even killed him and you wouldn't have allowed it. You caught him inches from the ground and jumped down from your broom, laying him down.

"Malfoy! Hey, Malfoy!" he was unconscious, the bludger had hit him quite well.

Draco might have been done with the bludger, but the bludger wasn't done with Draco: you saw it dashing in the sky and descending at a dangerous speed towards the blond boy. You acted on impulse and covered him with your body, shielding him from the hard sphere that would have surely damaged him even more.

"Y/n! Get away from there!" you heard Fred shouting before the bludger struck you on your back. You let out a harrowing shriek, supporting yourself on your elbows not to crush the boy underneath you. You gritted your teeth as the bludger kept on beating you, only increasing its strength. You felt tears pool in your eyes as you felt your back breaking with every new hit, until it stopped.

Madame Hooch had managed to destroy the rogue bludger and you simply rolled beside Draco's unconscious body, eyes still tightly closed as you felt blood soaking your robes. A large crowd formed around you and the slytherin and you did your best to get up from the ground, but instead clutched your back with your hands, crossing your arms in front of you.

"Oh for Marlin's sake, how are you feeling, dear?" Madame Hooch questioned, looking distraught as she kneeled down in front of you and Draco.

"I'm not complaining. I'm not the one who has been hit in the face by that demonic thing." you managed to breathe out. Talking made the pain in your back even more excruciating and you bit your lip in order not to shriek again, almost drawing blood from your lips.

Dumbledore and other professors had joined the circle that was surrounding you, staving off all of your teammates and the other slytherins, eyes widening after seeing the state in which you and the other boy were in: you were writhing on the ground, trying to find a position in which you wouldn't feel like shards of glass were puncturing your skin, while the slytherin laid completely still on the grass, his platinum blond head now getting increasingly redder in the point the bludger had hit him.

The two of you were immediately brought in the hospital wing and Madame Pomfrey almost killed the professors after seeing two students in such conditions. She cursed quidditch and its 'barbaric ways', all the while examining your back and Draco's head. Madame Pomfrey gave you a glass of some liquid and focused her attention of the boy laying on the bed next to yours.

"Will he be alright?" you asked softly, peeking over her shoulder to see if the blond had awaken yet.

"Drink that and then get some sleep, miss y/l/n. Broken backs are serious stuff and I can't do much for the pain."

"But will he be ok?" you insisted. Madame Pomfrey sighed and turned to you.

"He will, but do yourself a favor and get some sleep. When you will wake up, you'll ask him yourself." that seemed to be enough for you and you drank the glittering liquid in the glass. The pain decreased only slightly, but enough to allow you to fall in a deep slumber. Deep but not peaceful since the only scenes that replayed in your head were the one that happened earlier that day. You found yourself questioning your choices: why did you blindly took his place? Why didn't you just let him on the ground by himself? Not even his teammates had rushed to help him, so why did you? But, as you kept falling more and more asleep, you couldn't find any answer.

The next morning you still felt a searing pain in your back, but it was far more bearable than the night before. You were still half asleep, eyes closed, when you heard someone whispering next to you. You kept your eyes sealed, focusing on the voice to hear it better.

"Come on, wake up. Please wake up." you weren't sure whose voice it was: it was deep and slightly hoarse, as if the person had just stopped crying.

"Come on, you have to wake up. You endured a bloody rogue bludger and you can't wake up?" you heard the voice assert, slightly chuckling and sniffling. The voice stopped talking for a moment. You felt a pair of hands grasping yours and holding it tenderly, drawing mindless pattern on its back.

"I'm pretty sure you can't hear me now, so i want to thank you. You didn't have to do it and yet you did." you recognized the voice to be Draco's, but you remained silent.

"I don't know why, no one would have done what you did, especially a gryffindor." he sniffled once more.

"You have been incredibly daft. You could have been seriously injured and for what? For me? You are an idiot if i ever saw one." he continued, giggling lightly. You could almost picture him in your mind, his bandaged head, his grey teary eyes and his cheeky grin.

"I never thought i would have had a chance with you but now that i almost got you killed i know for a fact." you desperately wanted to open your eyes and tell him that he still had a chance. Hell, he had even more than a chance, but you kept them closed. He remained silent for a few seconds again, still caressing your hand, and then you felt a light drop wet the back of it.

"Please wake up. I need to see you're alright."

"Why?" you asked, opening slightly your eyes with a smug grin on your face. He left your hand and immediately got up and distanced himself from you, thoroughly ashamed.

"How much did you hear?" he asked almost panicked.

"Oh, i don't know... i heard you insulting me though. That's not a very nice thing to do when talking to someone on an hospital bed." you replied cheekily and his cheeks heated up a little. You stretched your arm out and motioned for him to sit down again. When he did, you offered him you hand once more and, after eyeing it suspiciously for a moment, he gingerly took it in his own.

"Do you want to know something funny?" you asked playfully and he raised an eyebrow at you.

"You had a chance with me until you called me an idiot." you stated and he chuckled once more.

"So you heard that too, huh?"

"Seems so."

"Does it hurt?" he asked, suddenly conscious of the whole reason why you were there.

"Less than before. But don't change the topic." you said and you tried to sit up, but underestimated your pain and winced.

"Woah, woah. Stay down, i'll go call Madame Pomfrey." you grasped his hand firmly, preventing him from leaving you alone.

"Don't. I'm fine." he looked at you with concern written all over his face. "Please, stay."

His eyes softened and sat again in his chair, moving it slightly closer to the edge of your bed.

"How's your head?" you asked. As you had imagined, he had a white bandage across his head, with a red stain on the back.

"I'll survive." he shrugged his shoulders before continuing, "Thanks to you." you grinned widely at his words and shook your head in fake disapproval, causing a loose strand of hair to fall in front of your face. He instantly tucked it behind your ear, his hand lingering there before returning in his lap.

"Well, i don't think you would be doing too good if it hadn't been for Madame Pomfrey!" you corrected, still holding his hand in yours.

"Of course, but if it hadn't been for you, Madame Pomfrey couldn't have done much... They told me what you did."

"And...? It was heroic, wasn't it?" you said proudly, feigning superiority with a smug smirk.

"I stand by what i said. You are an idiot if i ever saw one." he replied matter-of-factly, but still in a playful manner.

"Oh, you hurt me, Malfoy!" he tried to stifle a laugh but couldn't and instead shook his head lightly. Your eyes suddenly widened and Draco's did too as soon as he noticed.

"Are you ok? What happened?"

"Who won the match?" Draco stared at you, mouth agape, a look of incredulity in his silvery eyes as he scoffed slightly.

"Well? Who won?" you asked again, expectantly.

"I don't know. Pomfrey hasn't let anyone inside het." you stayed silent, pondering for a few seconds.

"Let's make a deal."

"A deal?"

"A deal. If gryffindor won, i'll forget you ever called me an idiot and we can go on a date."

Draco's lips curled up slightly, "and what if slytherin won?"

You waited for a moment, staring at him in defy.

"Then we don't talk ever again." you said inching closer with your face towards the boy. Draco had a one-sided smile plastered on his face and his eyes narrowed at you. He extended his hand out and you shook it, sealing the deal. Right in that moment, Fred and George burst inside, with Madame Pomfrey in tow, trying to restrain the twins.

"Y/n! Still alive?" shouted Fred.

"Out of here now! They need to rest!"

"Madame Pomfrey, can i talk with them for a moment?" you tried asking, but she was not having any of it.

"You need to rest! You'll see them later!" and she started to usher Fred and George outside by force. You glanced at Draco who was looking at the scene very amused, then back at the twins.

"Who won the match?" you inquired, almost shouting, and the twins managed to respond before being shut outside by Madame Pomfrey.

"It's postponed."

//

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[xiyao-feels]

In this post I'm going to argue that the common position that LXC did not know JGY was going to kill the Wen he had with him in episode 23 is wrong. I think the evidence that he did know is considerable, and in fact the only evidence against that position is the framing which casts JGY executing them as being extremely evil. Although LXC and JGY's exchange after the sect leader discussion (the "Am I the evil?" exchange) is often taken as additional evidence that this is JGY's moment of no return on his journey to Evil, I think this is due to a misinterpretation of the exchange, which I will also argue below.

In Part 1, I show that LXC has unambiguously agreed to a plan which involves the execution of at least some Wen, and therefore the central question is whether he was expecting the particular group of Wen JGY brings in with him to be spared; I also argue that he has plausibly agreed to have even certain non-combatants killed. In Part 2, I contrast them with the Wen Jin Zixun is killing to argue that they are not, and also present the evidence that LXC has also agreed to the killing Jin Zixun is doing. In Part 3, I consider the lack of motive JGS has for having JGY, behind LXC's back, kill Wen he explicitly agreed with LXC he would spare. In Part 4, I discuss the "am I the evil" exchange, and in particular argue that the "evil" NMJ is opposed to is not JGS, as seems to be a common assumption, but the Wen. I conclude by examining the remaining evidence and arguing that it is insufficient to overcome the rest of the evidence.

Part One: What to do with the Wen remnants?

In episode 23, as WWX and LWJ discuss things, we hear distressed cries accompanied by calls of Kill them! and Kill them all! (This starts at about 17:47.) We are told that people are capturing the remaining Wen, and it is very clear what they are doing with the Wen once they catch them.

The next scene is JGS, NMJ, and LXC discussing what to do with the remaining Wen, joined partway through by JGY. I encourage you to watch it (link); it lasts from 18:09 to about 22:40 on YouTube. I have also transcribed the dialogue (including the dialogue from the 'am I the evil?' exchange), both English and Chinese, in a post here; the post also includes my attempt at summarizing the whole conversation. However, as the conversation does encompass more than just the plan about what to do with the remaining Wen, I am now going to summarize the discussion of that particular issue below.

JGS is initially pro- the capturing, and implicitly the extermination, of all the remaining Wen. LXC argues for letting the defenseless remnants—note, not the ones who can defend themselves—go. NMJ is initially on JGS' side, but relents in the face of LXC's disappointment and also argues they should let them go. JGS counters by reminding them of the threat the remaining Wen would pose should they get hold of the Yin Iron. NMJ bows and says that "Clan Leader Jin has thought about it very thoroughly" (金宗主所虑甚详); to my eyes he appears to be prepared to concede on the matter, but I freely admit that we don't actually know, as the conversation takes a slight detour and this is not resolved. We return to the issue of the Wen when JGY enters with his captured group of Wen and LXC asks him for his opinion. JGY suggests that they confine and monitor "the old, weak, and young"* as long as they stop making trouble, while those who killed a Sunshot cultivator will be executed; at LXC's prompt he provides a possible location for such confinement. NMJ observes brusquely that JGY is "really familiar with it" (你倒熟悉) (in context I think this is about JGY's knowledge of Wen places). LXC announces that they should do as A-Yao suggests; it is somewhat ambiguous in the scene whether he gets agreement, as NMJ leaves angrily rather than reply when JGS and LXC look at him, but as subsequent events seem to follow along JGY's suggestion, we can surmise that agreement was in fact reached.

*老弱妇孺. As ever, I don't speak Chinese; however Pleco gives 'the old and weak' for 老弱 and 'women and children' for 妇孺. In context, I think it is fairly clear that 'women' would not include, say, the Wen equivalent of Madam Yu, fighting cultivators with good cultivation power, who besides would probably have killed a Sunshot cultivator and thus would be sentenced to death.

I wish to point out a few things about this exchange. First, the default plan without LXC's interference is apparently to simply kill them all. Second, at no point does anyone including LXC argue in favour of sparing the Wen who aren't defenseless; if LXC were a Wen, it seems likely that he would be on the chopping block due to his cultivation power and martial prowess. Third, the plan LXC agrees to here /very explicitly/ includes killing some of the captured Wen. There is no way I can think of to interpret the conversation in any other way. At no point does LXC agree to a plan which involves sparing all of them.

I'm hammering this point home because I think it is often overlooked. If the agreement is that all the remaining Wen are going to be spared, then obviously if any Wen are still killed this is a betrayal of that agreement. But that's clearly not the agreement that's reached! The fact that some Wen are killed is therefore not sufficient to constitute a betrayal of that agreement; the question becomes whether the Wen we see JGY kill are in a group protected by that agreement.

Before we look at these Wen, however, I want to look at the scene after JGY kills the Wen. Once again, we see LWJ and WWX discussing things. They are interrupted by cries and pleas from a group of the remaining Wen (at 26:56), who are being chased down and killed by Jin Zixun. It's hard to get a decent picture, but to my eyes they do indeed look like the old, the weak, and the young:

Moreover, WWX explicitly identifies them as such. "These are women, children, and old men. Are they also evil?" he asks, and the phrase is 老弱妇孺—the same phrase JGY used to identify those to be confined and monitored in the previous scene.

Is Jin Zixun's killing a betrayal of the agreement, then? But consider his reply:

It's Clan Leader's order that anyone who has concern with Yin Iron should not be alive. Nie-zongzhu and Lan-zongzhu also agreed. Does Jiang clan have any questions? 宗主有令 凡是跟阴铁有关的人 一个都不能留 聂宗主和蓝宗主也同意了 难道你们江氏还有什么疑问吗

Jin Zixun explicitly says that NMJ and LXC agreed to the killing of anyone who "has concern with Yin Iron," regardless, it seems, of whether they have power in themselves or no. It's not impossible Jin Zixun is lying; however, while he is certainly intent on provoking WWX, he does not seem to be worried about being caught in deceit, and indeed LWJ who is right there does not contradict him or seem to doubt him. Moreover, to the best that I can recall this does not come up again, as we might expect it to if Jin Zixun is in fact deceiving them; and while these Wen who know something about Yin Iron may be 老弱妇孺, they are nevertheless reasonably viewed as a threat, and it seems a fairly natural extension of the agreement we see the clan leaders reach. I'm not saying Jin Zixun would never lie, or anything, but there doesn't seem to be any indication that he's lying about LXC's agreement, while there is evidence that he's not.

Therefore, from the evidence available, it is entirely unambiguous that LXC has agreed to a plan that involves killing any Wen who have killed a Sunshot cultivator; I don't think there's any plausible interpretation other than 'execution' of what would happen to the old, weak, and young if they didn't stop making trouble, and again that's part of the plan we explicitly see him agree to; and it seems likely that he agreed to the killing of old, weak, and young Wen who "have concern with Yin Iron."

At this point I wish to pause to make a note. It seems likely that people will feel uncomfortable with LXC doing this and indeed perhaps with LXC in general because he did this; this is entirely understandable, and I'm not at all saying otherwise. However, I think it's important to note that LXC's intervention /is an improvement over the status quo/. If he had not intervened, the Wen would simply all have been killed. Yes, it's an awful and unjust agreement, and you could argue he should never have taken part in the discussion; but if he hadn't, the Wen would all have been killed. It is his willingness to "play the game" that saves lives.

(You could of course argue that he should have devoted himself to saving them entirely, by force if necessary. This has been discussed in other places and by many different people; for here I will simply say I do not think it was a viable option.)

Part Two: Which Wen?

It is clear, then, that LXC has agreed to the killing of at least some Wen. If we accept Jin Zixun's account, then even if the Wen JGY has executed are "the old, weak, and young," then that is not sufficient evidence to say that they were in the group that should have been spared! However, I think we can do better than that. To my eyes, they do not look like "the old, weak, and young":

While it is true that they are not all e.g. wearing Wen cultivator uniforms, from what I can see they all look like strong young men and women. Contrast Jin Zixun's group, which generally looks more elderly and contains a child! Moreover, while Jin Zixun runs his victims down with bow and arrow on the open road, the people JGY kills are heavily guarded, surrounded by men holding swords on them the whole time. I realize this is to some extent a matter of personal judgement, but honestly, especially combined with the contrast with Jin Zixun's group, they do not at all look to me like they are in the group that was agreed would be spared. If you disagree with this, I hope you will at least agree that they are not /unambiguously/ part of the group that was agreed would be spared; that is, it is open to debate.

Part Three: Motive

If the visual evidence is insufficient, let us turn to another question: why would JGY kill these people if he'd just proposed to LXC to spare them? The answer to that is in some sense obvious—he'd be doing it because his father wanted it—but that simply moves the question back another level. Why would JGS want JGY to kill these people, and in such an obvious manner, if he'd just agreed with LXC he would spare them?

I legitimately cannot think of a good explanation. His central goal is to progress on obtaining the Yin Iron, and to make sure no one else gets their hand on it—but the arrangement they agree to serves him just fine for that. We know he does in fact spare some of the Wen, so it's not the case that he is simply pretending to spare any of them while having them all killed. If he wants to reduce the number of people he's sparing for whatever reason, I suppose he might have JGY kill some of them—but we don't have any evidence he does want that, and why would he have JGY do it in such a public manner? They still haven't left Nightless City—they haven't even had the Banquet yet—and it's the middle of the day and there is blood on the steps:

So, what, he wants to come to an agreement with LXC and then betray it immediately for some random reason, and also do it in a way LXC is likely though not guaranteed to find out about??

In the interests of considering all the options, and the recognition that CQL does not always care about logistics when it's hitting emotional beats, perhaps we can say that the easily-discoverable nature of this is not meant to be taken literally. But there's still the problem of what motive JGS has to do this—and more than that, the question of the significant motive he has not to.

Consider the situation at the beginning of the discussion: NMJ is in agreement with LXC, united against JGS. By the end of it, LXC is readily agreeing with JGY, and NMJ is in some disgruntlement - and not even in a way that seems particularly directed at JGS! From JGS' perspective, it's very much a desirable outcome, and indeed we can see he appears quite pleased with it.

Endangering this gain would therefore have to bring some significant gain in return. And… what is there? NMJ might approve of killing the Wen but he wouldn't approve of telling LXC you're going to spare someone and then immediately killing them. If this were found out, it would entirely reverse the effect of the agreement, and you would have Lan and Nie together against the Jin—exactly what JGS doesn't want! And it's worth remembering that at this point they haven't even sworn the brotherhood oath yet, that's a few scenes on, so it would be an extremely stupid time to endanger LXC and JGY's rapport. JGS is absolutely an asshole, but he's specifically a power-hungry asshole, and especially in CQL a clever and focused power-hungry asshole; he's not going to randomly endanger political gain just because he wants to be Evil.

Part Four: Am I the evil?

I think that part of the reason for the belief that JGY killed the Wen is this exchange, or more specifically a common misinterpretation of this exchange. You can watch it here, from 22:39 to 23:45 (to 24:08 If you want to watch the blood on the steps); I have also transcribed the dialogue, both the Chinese and the YT English subtitles, into another post here.

In this exchange, LXC tells JGY not to take NMJ's behaviour to heart; it's simply that he "resents the evil and favours the good,"* and that he's simply worried that JGY has "made the wrong choice." It's honestly not clear to me if this is supposed to hit in English quite the way it does—is LXC talking about a specific, individual wrong choice JGY has made? However it does seem to be usually interpreted as this, and moreover, specifically as NMJ thinking JGY has made the wrong choice /in becoming JGY/, in becoming Jin Guangshan's recognized son and aligning himself with the Jin. In this understanding of events this criticism of JGY is then validated by his killing the Wen—look, he's being evil, just as NMJ said!

There is a problem with this version of events, however. NMJ dislikes JGS, to be sure, and disapproves of him and so forth, but I don't think he thinks he's evil or particularly disapproves of JGY working for his dad JGS qua JGY working for his dad JGS. It's worth noting that in MDZS, at least, NMJ releases MY from his obligation to him and sends MY to JGS with his letter of recommendation! But there is someone NMJ hates, or rather someones: the Wen. His antipathy towards JGY at present isn't based on JGY working for JGS; it's based on JGY having recently worked for WRH. Even in CQL, remember, in episode 27 NMJ speaks up against LXC and JC's defense of WQ and WN, notably aligning himself with JGS on the matter (link). Thus his displeasure that JGY is "really familiar" with Wen places. NMJ would not be impressed with JGY executing Wen he had agreed with NMJ and LXC not to execute, but killing captured prisoners, even non-combatants, is not something NMJ considers inherently evil. To be clear, I am not trying to make NMJ out as uniquely bad for this! This is true of most people in his society, and while NMJ is absolutely unusually principled, that doesn't mean his principles are the exact modern-day principles we might like him to have.

When LXC talks about "the evil," he is not talking about JGS; rather he is talking about the defeated Wen. His stutter in response to Am I the evil? makes much more sense in this light. It would be a much more obvious return from JGY, and indeed fairly close to an insult from LXC, if LXC meant that JGS—whom JGY had just aligned himself with, and who also is /JGY's dad who just recognized him/—were evil; on the other hand, if LXC is simply referring to NMJ's well-known hatred of the Wen, then JGY taking it seriously—as either a serious question about his own evil, or a question about whether NMJ now feels the same hatred towards /him/—is more understandably an unexpected conversational move.

Considering the exchange in this light, I think we should not see it as suggesting that JGY's next action is betraying LXC. If NMJ's hatred is based primarily on JGY's previous association with the Wen,† if anything to me the effect is to parallel JGY doing awful things under WRH with JGY doing awful things under JGS; in either situation, he is much constrained. I don't insist on that interpretation, of course, but I do think the "evil" here is very much the Wen and not JGS, and that this complicates the idea that this is the show telling us that JGY is Evil Now.

†There is the captain killing too, but he clearly does not wholeheartedly condemn JGY for it previous to meeting him in Sun Palace, and even expresses some concern for him in the interim; JGY's work with the Wen is much more significant here.

Conclusion

To sum up, then: LXC very explicitly agrees to a plan that involves killing some of the captured Wen; there is also evidence that he may have agreed to killing some of the non-combatants among the captured Wen, and I think it likely. Regardless of this last, I think the visual evidence (especially in contrast with the Wen Jin Zixun kills) suggests that the Wen JGY has executed are in the group LXC explicitly agreed to have killed. Moreover, I think that the common interpretation of the Am I the evil exchange as telling us that JGY is Evil now is flawed, and that it therefore doesn't suggest that JGY's next actions are evil beyond, like, the evil of executing captured prisoners even as part of an approach that saves some of them.

There is the matter of the framing of the execution; it does certainly suggest that JGY is doing something awful. My answer to this is twofold. First, that JGY is indeed doing something awful. Executing captured prisoners is bad! Like, I am not blaming him for not reforming society from the ground up, here, and I do tend to think it's the only option that he had, but that doesn't mean it's not a shitty option.

Second, that the show sometimes frames JGY's actions as Evil in a way that's not really justified by what's presented. If you consider the Burial Mounds flashback in episode 43 for example (link), then we see JGY being presented as evil when he is, objectively, being helpful and helping protect LWJ's reputation. His telling LWJ that LQR is there to pick him up is framed as worse than LQR having LWJ beaten is. I am not, to be clear, saying that framing can't be legitimate evidence; of course it can. Nevertheless, I think it's worth considering the issues around JGY's presentation in CQL more generally, and especially to consider whether the framing alone is sufficient to conclude that he is betraying an agreement with LXC, rather than simply executing captives, especially in the light of the evidence against this.

As a final note, I want to note that I suspect part of the reason for this take is the general reluctance to believe that the characters we like could be doing something bad/something we disagree with. With LXC, this very often tends to result in the belief that he didn't know JGY was doing bad things, despite the mass of evidence against this position; with NMJ in particular, I cannot count the number of times I have seen people simply assume that he is obviously against the destruction of the Wen. This falls into the intersection of both, reassigning the target of NMJ's hatred from the Wen, who have our sympathy, to JGS, who decidedly does not; and making it such that LXC is ignorant that JGY is going to have those Wen executed, because how could he speak with JGY so warmly beforehand otherwise? But NMJ hates the Wen, and will go on to position himself with JGS, against LXC!, against them; and LXC is indeed willing to treat JGY with warmth despite his doing awful things, as in CQL we will see him be warm with JGY at the Phoenix Mountain Hunt despite JGY having (due to the wishes of his father) ordered captured Wen out in front of the targets. Neither of them have, for example, CQL LWJ's exact set of beliefs.

*恩怨分明嫉恶如仇. Generally I hate to post about my thoughts on the translation, but I do think it's worth noting here that from what I can tell this seems to be two phrases, 恩怨分明 and 嫉恶如仇. For 恩怨分明, Pleco gives "know clearly to whom to show gratitude and against whom to feel resentment"; for 嫉恶如仇, however, it gives "hate evil like an enemy; abhor evil as one's deadly foes". This is the phrase that gets translated as "absolutely couldn't stand wrongdoings" in ch 30 (link), when WWX is wondering why LWJ didn't just go kill XY (ER translation):

Wei WuXian found this a bit strange. Although Lan WangJi looked as if he didn’t care about anything, from Wei WuXian’s past experiences with him, he absolutely couldn’t stand wrongdoings, possibly even more than Nie HuaiSang’s brother. Back then, the LanlingJin Sect had some dishonest ways of doing things, and Lan WangJi never bothered to be subtle about them. Even until now, he always refused to go to their sect’s Discussion Conferences. If two cruel massacres happened, the news would’ve probably spread over the entire cultivational world and Lan WangJi definitely wouldn’t have turned a blind eye to them. Why did he not go and give Xue Yang what he deserved?

Taming Wangxian gives it as "he hated evildoers to the core" (link), and MDZS Translation gives it "someone who hated evil with a vengeance" (link).

It's also 嫉恶如仇 that JGY repeats, rather than 恩怨分明. The Viki subtitles, for what it's worth translates this portion of the exchange as follows:

LXC: Brother Mingjue is precisely someone who is clear about kindness and grudges, and abhors evil as one's deadly foe. He's just worried you've gone down the wrong path.

JGY: "Abhor evil as one's deadly foe…" Am I exactly that evil then?

As ever, I am open to correction on this matter.

ETA: on the matter of Zixun, I think madtom's point is right; I replied here.