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ladykailitha · 1 day

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Paper Hearts Part 4

I finished it!! It will have 8 chapters. I'm excited for you guys to see where this goes! I'm still working on Sweet Home Indiana and will be focusing on that until ITS done. Then we'll be back our regularly schedule WIPs.

We have Eddie's big plan and Steve gets his flirt on.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

****

Steve slipped into the kitchen and there in his mother’s neat handwriting was a note telling him that there were leftovers in the fridge and that they would be home again next Friday.

He sighed and opened the fridge. He immediately closed it when he saw what the leftovers were.

Boiled cabbage with chopped bacon and carrots. It wasn’t bad if it was made correctly, but his mother boiled any flavor and nutrients out of the poor vegetables and then tossed in cooked bacon to hide its sins.

He opened the cupboard and pulled out a small can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup and made that. He was craving the sodium. Eddie’s beef was good to get his body to stop shaking, but he had sweat so much he needed to replenish the salt he’d lost.

Once Steve had eaten and drank another glass of water he went to go get a shower and get ready for bed. It was no use trying to get back to his homework now. He had managed to blow up his whole evening by getting lost.

He had no idea how he got to Forest Hills or even why his feet carried him there in the first place. He could feel the weariness seeping into his bones from running for so long.

He undressed and got under the scorching water, letting the heat carry away his pains. His mind ran through all the things that Munson had done for him. The guy had no reason to be nice to him, but he had been more than gracious.

Then it hit him. Munson had called him Stevie, and without thinking Steve had called him Eds.

Eds.

Where the fuck did that come from? They weren’t friends, they could barely be considered acquaintances. Was his brain reaching out to the guy subconsciously? Is that why he ended up at the trailer park? Everyone knew that’s where Munson lived. Who knew how many times the guy had been called trailer trash, but the older teen seemed to rise above the insult.

Steve shook his head, spraying water everywhere. Just because Munson picked up lost sheep, didn’t mean he’d be willing to taken in an injured wolf. Because that’s what he was, reformed or not, Steve would never be a sheep. He would always be a wolf. A predator.

But at least as a wolf he could protect those kids with everything he had. And he would, even if it killed him.

The water had long since turned cold by the time Steve stepped out of the shower. He completed his after shower routine mostly on autopilot as he kept going over his interactions with both Munson men. He didn’t really have good interactions with dads or in this case uncles. But Munson’s uncle Wayne treated him with kindness and he could see where the older boy got it from.

He dressed into his pajamas and slid under the covers. He rolled over on his back and tucked one arm under his pillow, staring up at the ceiling.

Steve thought back to the apology. One Munson really didn’t have to give but did anyway. He thought about the other jocks that bragged about hurting his hand. He held it up and looked at the fading bruise. It wasn’t as though he was even basketball anymore. Hurting his hand wouldn’t do anything but make it hard to do his homework and all he had to do is show his teachers his hurt hand and he’d get extensions for that. Like he had for his concussion last November.

But then again Tommy H. never had reasons for the people he hurt either. He just liked the power he got seeing the person helpless.

He placed his hand over his heart and let himself drift off the sleep, brown eyes and dark curls haunting his dreams.

****

Eddie had originally bought the red heart for himself like he had told the two juniors. But staring at it now, he had a better plan for it. Because that last wall, that last bastion of defense crumbled to ashes when he realized that despite the fancy car, the big house, and the expensive clothes, Steve Harrington was more like Eddie than he thought possible.

Wayne’s approval of the boy cemented that for him. Because if he could take one look at Steve and decide he was worth saving, then Eddie raring to go full steam ahead for a rescue mission.

Eddie could tell that the hearts were made from simple construction paper, like the kind found just about anywhere. He knew it would be technically cheating to just simply make more instead of buying them, but he had no intention of contributing to a dance he was never going to go to because one, it wasn’t his year; two, the whole gay thing; and three, the one person he would want to go with if the gay thing wouldn’t get him hate crimed, wouldn’t give him the time of day.

Well, all right, that might have changed with the whole rescuing him from wandering alone in the dark thing.

He forgave Eddie about being a dumbass, so maybe there was hope for, at the very least, a vast decrease in hostility. And he was willing to take what he could get.

He decided to wait until tomorrow after school to get the construction paper and hope that the high school hadn’t bought up the town’s supply.

On his way out the next morning, Wayne stopped him.

“You don’t have to tell me, son,” he said gently, “but you got feelings for that boy?”

Eddie froze and turned slowly to face his uncle. “What gave you that idea?”

Wayne chuckled and shook his head fondly. “Boy, when you’d go on rants about the Harrington boy, you’d describe his floppy hair, his hazel eyes and how unfairly good looking the kid was. I didn’t say anything because it did sound like he’d been a bit of an ass. Only after last night I got to thinking and was wondering is all.”

Eddie closed his eyes and opened them slowly. He let out a long shuddering breath, his bottom lip quivering.

“I–I don’t...” he closed his eyes again. This wasn’t Al. He wasn’t going to get beat for admitting it, but still it was so hard to say. So he just nodded.

Wayne came up and wrapped his arms around his nephew. “It’s a hell of a lot tougher batting for the other team, but I trust your judgment. Just promise me that if he shows signs of liking you back, you take the chance to tell him how you feel because...”

“You miss one hundred percent of the chances you don’t take,” they said together.

Eddie dropped his bag to the floor and hugged him back. “I know, old man. But I promise if there is a chance, I’ll be brave enough to take it.”

“Get going,” Wayne said, voicing cracking with emotion.

He pulled back and nodded. He reshouldered his backpack and got in his van.

He had a lot to think about and that really wasn’t conducive to paying attention in class or to his friends as they talked about their upcoming D&D session.

Gareth kicked his shin causing him to yelp.

“What the fuck, dude?” Eddie hissed.

“What the fuck is up with you?” Gareth hissed back. “You’ve been going on and on about the mind flayer for weeks and now that it’s literally this weekend, and you’re off in some other realm.”

Eddie blinked at him for a moment before his brain came back on. He shook his head to clear it.

“Yeah, sorry, man,” he said around a pretzel. “Weird night last night.”

“What happened?” Jeff asked, tilting his head to the side.

So Eddie told them. “He was like a ghost, guys. If Wayne hadn’t seen him too, I would have thought I was hitting Mary Jane a little too hard, you know?”

“I didn’t realize he was getting bullied,” Brian said, frowning. “I would have thought with Hargrove giving the dude a wide berth, that everyone else would have too.”

“Untouchable,” Jeff agreed. “The fact that jocks are now splintering into factions tells you what kind of control Steve actually had on them.”

Eddie rubbed his chin. “I don’t know how true this is, but if Harrington wasn’t lying, he’s a real sweetheart, too.”

Then he leaned forward and explained about the pink heart scheme.

“So,” Gareth said, steepling his fingers and resting his chin on them, “you’re telling us is that we have been seriously remiss in our duties in collecting lost sheep.”

The older teen sighed and shook his head. “I’d like to collect him, but I’m afraid the wolves might decide to rip him apart before we got him to safety if we tried.”

Jeff winced. He knew what Eddie was talking about. Steve Harrington wasn’t the usual lost sheep. He might be bullied now, but as King, Harrington had run far too long with the wolves to think that they could protect him one hundred percent of the time.

“So what are we going to do?” Brian asked. “Because if we let this slide, we’re throwing our lot in with the bullies and that’s something I refuse to do.”

A grin spread out over Eddie’s face, closed lips and dimples entrenched into his cheeks. “We’re going to make the school think that he’s just as popular as he ever was.”

The other three boys looked at each other in confusion.

“So what have you got?” Gareth asked, his own grin starting to take over his face.

****

Eddie made sure to get to class early so he could see where Steve was going to sit. He tried to tell himself it was about the dude’s hand, but it wasn’t working. He wanted to see if the former Hawkins royalty would chose to sit with his old friends or by him again.

He didn’t have long to wait. Steve walked in not long after he did, just as the bell rang. He didn’t even look at his old desk near the front and beelined it for the chair he had sat in on Friday.

The teacher picked up on the change immediately and wrinkled her nose. “I am to suppose that you are taking up permanent residence in the back with Mr. Munson, Mr. Harrington?”

Steve half shrugged as he began to pull out his things for class. “I got more work done, Mrs. Dixon and I really want to graduate on time.”

Mrs. Dixon nodded. “Agreed and as long as you continue the level of attention from last week, you are permitted to stay there.”

About half way through class while Mrs. Dixon was grading papers, Tommy H. turned around and kicked Steve’s chair. “Suck up,” he hissed.

Steve puckered his lips and wagged his eyebrows. “Why? Do you want to be next?”

Tommy turned back around, his face bright red.

Eddie raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side as he considered everything about that interaction.

A little blossom of hope sprouted in his chest and he fought to keep it down. Steve had insinuated that other people were gay for years, but to Eddie’s highly trained gay ears, that sounded like Steve was offering to suck Tommy H.’s dick and that Tommy didn’t exactly turn him down.

Curiouser and curiouser, he thought tapping his lips thoughtfully. More research would have to be done.

He pulled out a different notebook, the one he used for campaign notes and song lyrics.

He wrote girls over one column and boys over the other and began tallying what he knew about the former King of Hawkins.

A shit ton went into the Steve liking girls column, but there was surprisingly more in the liking boys column then he would have thought possible. He looked up to catch Steve smirking at him.

Eddie quickly covered his notebook and stuck his tongue out at Steve.

The other boy shook his head and went back to doing the assignment. Eddie was more careful about what he left out in the open because he didn’t want Steve teased for it nor did he want him to see that Eddie was trying to figure him out.

The bell rang and the notebook was suddenly whisked off his desk.

“Hey!” Eddie cried, looking up to see Steve dancing away with the notebook teasingly. “Stevie!” He grabbed his bag and chased after the other boy. But the other boy was a jock and Eddie was wheezing for breath by the time he caught up with him at his locker.

“Give that back,” he huffed.

Steve gave him a bright smile and handed it back. “I just made a minor addition.”

Eddie frowned as he flipped through the pages but didn’t see anything. Steve took it back and turned to the correct page and leaned close so that only Eddie could hear.

“I trust you’ll keep my secret,” he whispered and then dropped to one knee to start getting into his locker.

Eddie gulped at the sight and turned to the paper to avoid saying something stupid. There in bold capital letters under his girls/guys columns was the word BOTH.

He looked up at Steve who had stood up. Steve winked at him and then walked away, leaving a shocked Eddie behind.

****

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#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes

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chaosandmarigolds · 2 days

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Don't look! Don-HEY! I'm just...gonna leave this right here. DON'T-

Firehouse AU.

The fights in the kitchen over who's turn it is to cook.

"Johnny's not bloody cookin, he eats beans every meal!"

"Oh an' yer spicy-"

"You mean salt."

"WHO TOOK MY FIRE SHELTER." Volunteer, who was paid to do this by Simon: I cleaned it.

"YE DID WHAT."

Dog piles of tired men in the living room while the tv plays some obscure movie.

Kyle being the main person to cook, however no one touches the grill if Pirce is there-

Johnny and Simon well just-

recruit. whispering to Kyle: are...

Kyle, watching Johnny stand on Simon's back because it had a 'crink': No...well- a little? we don't know.

OPEN HOUSE DAYS.

anyway thats all I got. <3

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writingroom21 · 2 days

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The Nanny

Pairing: Rafe x Nanny Reader

Summary: Being Wheezie's nanny was great. The only downside was dealing with the oldest Cameron, Rafe. What happens when his fascination with the nanny becomes a reality?

Warnings: Angst, mention of drugs, sexual harassment (some creep tries to force themselves on reader), forced kiss (same creep with the reader), slight comfort?, (please be careful if you have any issues with sexual harassment it doesn't go far but I don't want anyone uncomfortable), (let me know if I missed anything), fighting

Wc: 7.0K

A/N: One more part to go! Sad to see it coming to an end but thank you for all of your support.

Chapter 8: What are we?

You just watch as Rafe leaves. A sinking feeling builds in your chest. It’s like when you’re on a rollercoaster and you get to the really big drop. You always hated that part of the ride, somehow this feeling tops it. Fighting back the tears you walk to your room. Wheezie can wait until the morning, right now you just need to go to bed. You try to calm your breath the whole walk to your room. Scared if you made too much noise someone will hear.

Entering your room you finally let the tears go, finding solace within the four walls. The tears well onto your lashes, falling down in fat drops. Choked sobs echoing inside the silent room.You furiously try to wipe them away, hating how small you feel at this moment. This isn’t what you wanted. Deep down a part of you wanted him to fight for you. Seeing him give up so easily just adds salt to the gaping wound.

You strip from your clothes, throwing on a pair of sleep shorts and stopping when you reach for a shirt Rafe left. A part of your brain is screaming to find another shirt, the other is dying to have at least one last piece of him. Against your better judgment you grab the shirt and put it on. It faintly smells like him, another reminder how you truly thought he cared. The birthday cologne smelt slightly more bitter than it did before. But it was still him.

You turn to your bed, the sage green sheets lay perfectly flat, a bouquet of flowers on top. Walking closer you notice that they are white roses, your favorite. There’s a little note tied on the string that holds them all together. You pick them, opening the card to read it. I’m sorry Sunny. I fucked up but I can’t lose you. Please let’s just talk it out. I miss you. -R

The note makes you sob harder. He knew your favorite flower and he wanted to work things out. If you had just seen this before interrupting maybe things would be different. Maybe he would be he instead of walking away. Why would he remember your favorite flower? You barely even remember when you mentioned it around him.

“What are you doing?” The voice behind you makes you jump. The rose in your hand flies as you grip the scissors tighter. You turn your head to see Rafe leaning back on the kitchen counter. “Jesus Rafe you can’t do that. You scared the crap out of me.” You lean on the kitchen sink, regulating your heartbeat back to normal. He chuckles a little, a small smile spreading on his lips.

“Sorry didn’t mean to scare ya. Just saw you standing there and was curious.” He eyes your ass getting a perfect view from his spot behind you. “I’m cutting the stems of these roses.” “What Rose wants to be in every part of this house now?” He thinks he’s funny but he’s not. “No smartass. They are my favorite flowers, specifically the white ones.” You got back to cutting the stems, picking up flower to flower.

He sits there and watches and you finish the rest of the flowers. “Kinda seems corny doesn’t it? Like every chick likes roses it's never another flower.” Rafe remarks. Teasing you for the choice. “Well I like them because of my grandma. She used to get fresh bach every week and put them around the house. I get them because they remind me of her.” That’s the most you’ve shared about her since she died.

She was kind of the glue that held the family together. She always knew how to make everyone laugh. Always made you feel safe and welcomed. Your parents weren't that bad when you were growing up at first. They loved you so much as a baby, couldn’t have been prouder. Then the older you got the more money they had to spend. The more time they had to put into you and not them. It seemed the older you got the more problems they had. The more pressure they would put on you to be better.

Your grandma did a great job at shielding it from you for as long as she could. The flowers were the thing the two of you shared. Spending time picking out the right ones just to go home and build a bouquet. It was the highlight of your weeks and after she died it was over. You held on to the last bouquet until all the petals were left to nothing. Rotting on your dresser, burning holes into the wood to leave their marks. No bouquet felt the same after but it brought you comfort.

“Remind you?” Rafe questions. “She died when I was eight. I make bouquets to feel connected to her.” He just looks at you as you fill the vase with water, adding the roses one by one. He remembers watching his mom arrange flowers for the house. She would bring him along as she picked out various flowers. Always asking him for his input because he was her special helper. It was their special day activity, Ward would get upset at the sight of Rafe helping out. His mother would go to his defense, nipping Ward’s words in the butt the moment they exit his mouth.

It hurt to remember his mom, the memory causing more heartache than anything. The image of his happy mom crushed when he realizes she’s gone. Left him behind with a man that hates him. In a town where no one will ever care for him. But then he watches you do a simple action that brings her back. It hurts but he can’t help but smile watching you. “I’m sorry. I bet it was hard losing her. They look good, she’d be proud.”

You look him in the eyes, a soft smile gracing your face. Rafe can’t help but to think how beautiful you look. “Thank you. That was very sweet of you Rafe.” You praise. He blushes, straightening up and walking off. “WHatever don’t tell everyone now.” You laugh at him. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

The memory makes the feeling worse. He had remembered that conversation this whole time. It had happened early on to you working here, one of the first few meetings with the oldest sibling. You thought he was just being polite because you were new and you just told him something sad. But he still had that information stored away in some filing cabinet in his mind. The fact he still knew makes you want to find him and forgive him. Then you think about the fact he gave up.

You can’t really fault him, he has a right to do what he wants. Yet it still stings that you weren’t enough for him the first time and you weren’t enough for him this time. You place the flowers on the bedside table. Pulling the covers back you climb into bed, curling up into a ball and going yourself to sleep for the second night in a row.

✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶

The sound of voices stir you slowly awake. “Come on, leave her alone.” A hushed voice breaks through the door. “I want to know what happened last night. She never came to tell me.” Wheezie’s hush whispers fully wake you up. “No, let's go.” Sarah’s voice firmly states, footsteps fading down the hall. The room is bright, the curtains are fully open, you must have forgotten to close them last night. The light is harsh on your eyes, they still sting from crying the night before.

Everything keeps replaying in your mind. Memories creating a slow motion picture just for you. They are on a continuous loop as you get ready for the day. Your mind keeps going back to what Wheezie said to you yesterday. Would you be okay if you saw him with someone else? No you wouldn’t, seeing him with Sofia was hard enough. You don’t think you would be able to handle it further.

That realization brings you back to the flowers and the note. He has kept the memory with him since that day. Rafe wanted to make it up with you and showed you that he does care about you. He used the memory to do something that would make you happy, even if he caused you pain. The note made it obvious he wanted to work things out, maybe you should have listened to him. He didn’t actually have any reason to stay loyal to you, no conversation was had for the next step to happen.

Once you are finally dressed you slip on your shoes determined to find Rafe. You look around the hall when you step out, not wanting to run into anyone and change your mind. You make your way to his door and knock. Butterflies fill your abdomen, the nervous feeling eating you from the inside out. “Rafe?” You call out, keeping your voice low. Your right hand opens the door and you are faced with an empty room. The room is still a mess, things littered everywhere, a perfect match to him.

Sighing you close the door again, heading downstairs to get some breakfast. Voices can be heard from the kitchen, they aren’t loud so it’s hard to make anything out. Entering the kitchen you see Rafe talking with Sarah and Barry just sitting at the island. “He shouldn’t be here Rafe. Dad will flip out.” Sarah argues with her brother. “He already doesn’t like me, why should I care?” He huffs out and turns around, pausing when he sees you at the door. Barry and Sarah to look at what caught his attention.

“Well hello baby. Thought I would never see you again.” Barry’s voice rings in your ears but you can only focus on Rafe. “Hi.” You squeak, your voice giving away how nervous you are to see him. His jaw is clench, his hands forming fists as he looks at the man staring you down. “Let’s go Barry. We got shit to do.” He says pushing the other guy's shoulder as he passes him. Rafe gives you a nod as he walks by you and leaves. Barry tsk’s as he gets up making his way out as well. “That boy never learns does he?”

You just stand there, eyes glancing at Sarah. “I’m sorry I didn’t think you would be up right now after last night.” You smile at her and go in further to make food. “It’s fine. He already said he was going to leave me alone from now on. I just didn’t take him seriously.” Boiling water, you get the oats out of the cabinet, oatmeal was the fastest thing you could think of. “Wait what?” Sarah exclaims. Her shocked face staring at the back of your head.

You know she won’t leave you alone for the rest of the day. You have picked up on a few things over this past year. Never interrupt Ward when he is in meetings or talking in general. Rose really does care but the kids will never respect her so she lets them be. Rafe has been hurt for so long that he refuses to be himself now. Even though Sarah and Wheezie are different people they have the same personality trait. They care so much that they don’t know when to call it quits. Granted Sarah is better at keeping it at bay than Wheeze.

Knowing this and knowing how she feels about her brother you give in. You spilled and told her everything. How Wheezie accidentally was the reason why Ward knows what happened. How Ward was yelling at Rafe and how you stepped in. Then told her about the argument between the two of you. Finally leading to him saying he will leave you alone from now on. The whole conversation lasted all of breakfast, the oatmeal you made for the two of you long gone.

“I can’t believe that he just walked away like that. He was the one to mess up, he can't be mad.” She’s saying things you’ve already said to yourself. He did mess up and he shouldn’t be mad. But another part knows that you hurt him too in some way. You shut him out when he wanted to fix things. You ignored him and refused to talk. In the end you did the same thing he did, you didn’t communicate with him how you felt. “It’s not that simple, Sar. He hurt me yeah but I also shut him out. I’m sure that had to hurt him too, I can’t expect him to wait around for me.” You are trying to be reasonable. This is her brother you are talking about, you don’t want to be the reason why they are not on good terms. Things just started to die down between them.

“But it is simple. He messed up by kissing another girl and all you did was get space from him. He decided to just give up without much of a fight.” Her words force you to think back to when he was crying. Pleading with you to give him a second chance, just to hear him out. “He did try. I just didn’t give him the chance and it’s okay. He’s hurt and he needs his space too. I can’t get upset with him for doing the same.” Deep down you know you have a point. He is hurt and needs time which is what you did. It just hurts that when you figured out how you felt it was too late.

“Why are you defending him so much? I get that you liked him but he hurt you.” You are quiet, looking at your bowl. “Do you still like him?” She asks, watching your reactions. When she doesn’t get an answer she realizes it was deeper than what she thought. “Oh.” You both sit there, the weight of your unspoken words heavy in the air. “We never said we were exclusive. It was never something we talked about so he really didn’t do anything wrong. I just can’t hate him.”

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The thrap of the tennis ball takes you out of your daydream. Wheezie had dragged you out to the country club for a round of tennis, stating it would help you feel better. It was sweet of her for caring but the exercise was not welcomed. You would rather be enjoying the day reading then out on the court hitting a ball back and forth. “How many points is that?” She asks, a smile bright on her face. “6-2 I think.” You respond. You bounce the ball a few times before throwing it up and hitting it to her.

The rest of the morning was uneventful after your talk with Sarah. She tried to talk to you more about how you should be upset but it got nowhere. Once Wheezie popped into the kitchen the conversation died and it was over with. You were relieved when Wheezie didn’t mention Rafe at all after. Even happier when all she wanted to do was go out. That soon faded when she said she wanted to play tennis. It was just an excuse to see the cute tennis instructor that just started there.

Everything was going well until you were both leaving. You were stepping off the court when a golf cart blew past you. “Watch it, asshole.” Wheezie yells causing the cart to stop. The boys inside it all turn around and low and behold there’s Rafe with some guy you’ve never seen. “Watch it, Wheeze. Next time you might get run over.” The boy next to him chuckles. “Yeah, stay out of the way.” Rafe shoots him a look and the boy quiets down. “Oh please like you are so scary. Stop driving like a maniac and be normal.”

Rafe looks at you, eyes lingering for a little longer than needed. You smile at him, opening your mouth to greet him. He turns away before the words could escape. The cart drives off again leaving the two of you alone. He was really taking this leaving you alone seriously. You had hoped that he would be able to talk to you or be civil at least. You miss his voice, his smile, you miss him. Standing there you both just watch them drive off, walking to the building to get changed into clothes.

Wheezie wants to comment on how Rafe didn’t say anything to you. Noticing the look on your face as he ignored you. There’s a nagging in the back of her brain to ask you about last night. Her anxiety is getting the best of her, she’s scared that Rafe hates her. She has seen him get really angry and as much as she isn’t afraid of him, she still doesn’t like it. Wheezie doesn’t want to be the reason why her brother is angry at their father or at you.

“What should we watch tonight? I saw 10 Things I Hate about You the other day while scrolling and I’ve been wanting to watch it. What do you think?” You ask the younger girl as you walk the halls to the changing rooms. Wheezie clams up, her anxiety increases a bit more as she tries to think of an excuse. She needs this to go perfectly, nothing can get messed up. “Can we watch it as soon as we get home? My friends and I are having a Netflix watch party tonight.”

“That’s fine. We can get some dinner and then watch it. How does that sound?” You ask while getting your clothes from the locker you put it in. “That’s perfect.” Wheezie wasn’t lying it was perfect. She needed you to be happy and complacent for the time being. She knows that you might be a little angry with her by tomorrow so she wants to butter you up while she has the chance.

You both got changed and packed up the rest of your things. You are trying hard not to think about Rafe but are failing. Would he still want a second chance if you gave it to him? Yes is the first answer that pops into your brain. Then you think about how he’s ignoring you and that changes. He seems to have no problems pretending you don’t exist, maybe he doesn’t actually want you. Maybe the roses and letter was a ploy to get in your bed again. Yeah that was it.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you have Wheezie order some food. Getting into the car you drive to pick it up before going home. The house is quiet, no one seems to be home besides Sarah. “Hey guys.” Sarah shifts her eyes back to the book in her hands. “Hey! We are going to watch a movie. Want to join?” You ask as you make your way to the living room to settle down. “What movie?” “10 Things I Hate about You.” Wheezie answers. “You had me at Heath Ledger let’s go.” Sarah bolts up, the book forgotten as it flies in the air.

The three of you all get comfortable and queue the movie up. You all just sit in silence, eating and enjoying the movie. Once the food is finished , everyone relaxes back. Only really speaking to comment on the movie. “Uh, I wish he would sing for me.” Sarah dreams out loud. You chuckle at her, nudging her thigh with your foot. “Want me to tell John B to serenade you?” Wheezie laughs at your teasing. “Oh my god. I would pay to see that.”

You honestly can’t help but see the irony of watching this movie. Boy pretends to be into the girl only for her to find out it was all a lie. She tries to hate him but can never seem to, only to find each other in the end. But this isn’t a movie. Clearly Rafe is content with having you out of his life. There won’t be some big confession that absolves him of all his mistakes. He’s too proud to let anyone see how he feels. Maybe this wasn’t the best choice of movie.

Some masochistic part of you wants to feel the pain of watching something that will never happen. To soak in that feeling just to spite yourself. If the girls weren’t here you would probably be crying right now. Mourning the what if’s that plague your mind. It isn’t fair to do this to yourself and you know that. You just can’t seem to help yourself from finding comfort in your own pain. So used to the feeling that anything else seems foreign.

The rest of the movie plays out. Patrick and Kat just made up and are now kissing. Every muscle in your body feels heavy. The weight of the situation pulls you down further into the couch cushions. The credits start to roll and the girls are stretching. “Okay I’m going to my room now.” Wheezie gets up to leave. “Already? It’s still early.” Sarah questions. “Yeah I’m doing a watch party with some friends.” Wheezie shrugs trying to walk fast out the room. Sarah squints her eyes at her younger sister and watches as she leaves.

“Doesn’t she usually stick to you like glue until she goes to bed?” Sarah asks you. She finds it weird that she randomly watches parties with friends. She looks at you when you don’t answer. You were still stuck in your head that it took you a while to process what happened and Sarah’s words. “Um yeah sometimes. It’s good that she’s hanging out with friends. I’m not always going to be her nanny.” That’s when it hit you, this job isn’t forever. There’s no reason for any of them to stay in contact with you after Wheezie gets old enough. The girls would most likely stay in touch you know that. But you won’t be forced around Rafe anymore, maybe that’s a good thing.

“What are you even talking about?” She laughs. “You will always be a part of this family. At least you will be with Wheeze and I. You can’t get rid of us that easily.” She smiles at you. It makes you feel better having that reassurance. Even in the end you will still have them. “I think I’m going to go to my room and read. If you want to hang out or need me just come in.” You tell her. There’s a book on your night stand that you want to finish.

You must have been reading for an hour or two when Sarah bursted into your bedroom. “Is Wheezie in here with you?” She asks. You look up from the book, your face scrunching in confusion. “No, why?” Her face seems worried which only intensifies when she realizes Wheezie isn’t here either. “She’s not in her room and I can’t find her around the house. I wanted my sweater back and she was just gone.” Worry starts to gnaw at you. She has to be here somewhere, she couldn’t have just disappeared.

“Hold on. She has to be here somewhere. I’m just going to call her.” You place your book down and grab your phone. You dial her number and it rings. Sarah just stares waiting to see what happens. She didn’t answer. “Nothing.” You say. Sarah sighs not knowing what to do. “Let me track her phone.” Sarah gives you a bewildered look. “You track us?” She practically yells. “No. Your dad put it on Wheezie’s phone and I just have access to it. I never use it but this is kinda important.”

The app shows Wheezie at a house not too far from Tanny Hill. “She’s at a house. It’s close to here.” You get up putting your shoes on and grabbing your keys. “I think she’s at Trevor’s party. The one she was talking about yesterday.” Crap. Of course, that’s why she had a watch party. She just wanted me to leave her alone so she could sneak off.

The car ride to the party was tense. You were so upset and worried. She went behind your back and put herself at risk to go to this party. No one knew where she was and something could have happened to her. Oh god what if something did happen? She is still young and people like to take advantage of that. This situation is setting panic alarms in your mind. You just hope Ward doesn’t find out because the Rafe situation can be forgiven. Letting his teen daughter go to a party and get drunk might be his last straw.

Loud music is blasting as you pull into the street. There are people everywhere and the feeling of dread increases. It’s going to take forever to find her here. Not only that, you know Rafe is around. There’s no way that he would miss the opportunity to sell and take drugs. Walking into the house was a hassle, people kept blocking the way. Drinks are being spilled on you, soaking your shoes in the process. This is the one thing you hate about parties, they are always a mess. People get too drunk and throw up everywhere. Others start fights or spend the night taking copious amounts of drugs. You don’t judge them, it's just not something you enjoy.

“We should split up. I’ll call you if I find her.” Sarah yells over the music. “Sounds good.” You head towards the stairs to check up stairs. The stairs are littered with cups making the floors sticky. Most of the doors are closed so you have to open each one. You found a couple in one room, the rest being empty or locked. Laughter fills your ears from the other end of the hall. Walking over you see a group of guys all sitting around.

Looking closer you can see that they are doing line and in the middle of all of them was Rafe. Barry was sitting next to him chatting up a customer trying to upsell. A girl enters your view and you watch as she walks over to Rafe. She leans down and whispers in her ear and rests her hand on his shoulder. You watch as he smiles up at her, shaking a little bag in her face. He turns to make a line for her on the table and he catches your eyes.

He freezes, the card in his hand stalling. He picks up his actions when the girl whispers to him again. She makes her way onto his lap and that’s when you look away. Heading back down the stairs, missing how he pushed her off his lap and shot up. How he looked for you but you were already gone.

You keep looking around the house. Stopping into every room to check them. The next thirty minutes were spent searching the house. You kept coming up short which was freaking you out even more. You look at the app again and can see that she is still in the house. She’s here somewhere but you just can’t seem to figure out where. Your phone starts to ring in your pocket. “Hello?” You answer

“I found her. I’m bringing her to the car so we can leave.” Sarah tells you. Relief floods through your system. “Okay I’ll meet the two of you there.” She hangs up. Knowing that Wheezie is safe now you are ready to leave. You walk through the living room, eyes trained on the front door next to the kitchen. A body blocks you as you get right outside the living room. “Hey.” Some random guy says.

“Uh hey?” You say wearily. You are a little weirded out. You have never seen this guy before and he keeps blocking you as you try to get around him. “You’re that nanny for Rafe’s little sister right?” He asks. “Yeah.” He nods at you. His hands are in his pockets, he looks a little awkward like this. He takes a step closer to you, your body backing up closer to the wall. “Sorry for what he did to you. Think he’s kinda stupid for letting a girl like you go.” He says.

As if his words would make you feel better about what happened. “Thanks. I have to go now.” You try to step around him again and his arm lands on the wall, blocking you. This is starting to get more uncomfortable by the minute. “Hey I’m just trying to talk to you. I think you’re really pretty. We can just have some fun.” He tries to ration with you. “I’m good, I really just want to go. I have to get back to Wheezie.” You try to push him off you but he just gets a little closer.

His breath fans against your neck as you squirm away from him. One of his hands grabs your bicep, keeping you still. “Come one don’t be like that. I just want to get to know you. I think we could really like each other.” His body is now pressed up to you. You can feel how hard he is through his pants. It's disgusting. Your hand raises to his chest trying to push him off. It only makes it worse, in lips kissing your neck.

From the kitchen Rafe has been watching the whole interaction. Watching as he hit on you and how you stood there. He watches as his hands are touching you, his lips kissing the same skin his own lips touched. He was angry. Angry at himself for fucking this up, angry at his dad for being the reason he’s like this, mostly mad at you for moving on right in front of him. He was just filled with anger.

It didn’t help that he was so high and coked out that the feeling was ten fold. He had spent all day yesterday and today taking bump after bump. Smoking the day away and drinking. There’s so much in his system that he’s surprised he’s even standing. No matter how much he takes you are always still there. There in his home, at the country club and now here. He can handle seeing you, not really but he could manage. But he can’t stand there and watch as you are with someone else. His breaking point is when the guy kisses you.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. One moment he was just watching you, hating his life. Now he’s marching over to drag you out of here and yell at you. You can’t just rub it in his face how little he means to you. He was about to call you out when he heard you speak. “Get off of me.” It’s like a switch flipped. He is now paying attention to your body language. Rafe sees her hands trying to push his chest. How the guy keeps grabbing them to bring them down to his pants. “Just shut up and stay still.”

That was Rafe’s breaking point. He grabs the guy from the back of his shirt, throwing him to the ground. You watch in horror as the guy hits the floor in a hard thump. Rafe’s fist meets the guy's face in an instant. You stand there as his body holds the guy down and he keeps hitting him. Everyone is yelling in horror, telling Rafe to stop. “What is wrong with you? She told you to get off her.” Rafe yells.

His voice snaps you out of it. The guy is trying to block Rafe’s hits but he can’t do much in his position. Rafe has him trapped on the floor. “Rafe stop, let him go.” You yell. You really don’t want to be the reason that he got into a fight. It’s bad enough that his dad yelled at him over you.

Topper and Kelce run over, dragging Rafe off of the poor guy. “Fucking touch her again and I swear I’ll kill you. I won’t hesitate if I see you near her again.” Rafe screams as his friends drag him away. You look at the guy on the floor, he just lays there as people try to check on him. “God he’s such a psycho. Who just attacks a random guy.” Someone says as they pull out their phone to call the cops. “Maybe he shouldn’t be such a creep forcing himself onto people.” You say without thinking. Heads turn to look at you in confusion. Some people connect the dots as to what happened. “DId he try to..” You walk away before people can ask questions.

You find Rafe outside, pacing in circles as he yells at his friends. “Why would you pull me off? FUcking asshole deserved it. He’s lucking I didn’t fucking kill him.” The boys just look at him with worried looks. “You can’t just say you are going to kill people Rafe.” Topper tries to reason but it falls on deaf ears. “Nah I mean it. He was going to hurt her and I wanted to kill him. I would do it to anyone who even thinks about touching her.” The boys don’t know what to say. Rafe is like a ticking bomb when he’s like this.

“Rafe.” Your voice calms him, he turns to you. “Are you okay?” He rushes to you. Examining you to make sure that creep didn’t harm you in any way. “I’m fine. Thank you.” You don’t know what else to say. He helped you out back there and you are grateful. “I swear if he hurt you I’m going back in there and killing him. DOn’t care if they arrest me.” He’s being irrational. “Hey, just calm down. Everything is fine now. You made it okay.” He pauses, your words sinking in. He made it okay.

He was the one who helped you, the one that saved you. He reaches out to you, caressing your check. Relishing the feeling of you leaning into his touch. “You should go home.” He whispers. Your eyes open and meet his. Their red and his pupils are dilated. “Come with me.” He looks at you, debating if it’s a good idea. “I can’t. I said I would leave you alone, so I can’t.” He takes his hand off your face, about to back away from you but you stopped him.

“I want you to come with me, please. You can’t drive like this.” He gave in, no fighting was needed. You want him and that’s all he needs to know. He steps closer, walking side by side to your car. He sees Wheezie and Sarah in it. “What are they doing here?” He asks you. “Wheeze snuck off to the party. We came to get her and when I was leaving well.” You look back at the house and at him. “Well you know.”

He nods at you, not saying another word as you get into the car and drive off. The car ride was filled with you and Sarah lecturing Wheezie on how dangerous this was. That if something happened to her and no one knew where she was it could end badly. Rafe tenses at this thought. He was so coked out he didn’t realize his own sister was at the party. You were right she could have been hurt. Look at what happened to you, the same could have happened to Wheezie.

He’s on autopilot as he walks into the house and up the stairs. Your conversation plays in the background in his mind. He enters his room shutting the door but not noticing how it doesn’t click shut until a moment later. “Are you okay?” Rafe turns to see you in front of the door. “Yeah, I just want to get to bed.” What he really wants is to take another line and sleep the thoughts away.

“I just wanted to say thank you again for helping me today.” You shift your eyes from him. “No problem. Didn’t want you to get hurt.” He sits on the edge of his bed, folding his hands and looking at them. “That’s all? I got the flowers you gave me.” you take a step closer, wanting to be near him. You want to fix this, tonight made you realize he does care.

“Oh yeah. You can just forget about them. Don’t know why I even got them in the first place.” Your smile fades, the small flame of hope flickers out. “So that note was for nothing?” He doesn’t say anything. Guess you finally got your answer, it's over. “Don’t know why I even tried talking to you. You don’t care.” You go to leave the room. “Don’t leave.” He calls out.

Your hand is still on the door knob, one twist and you’ll be free. “Why? There’s nothing to stay for.” You hear him grunt, the bed squeaking under him. “Do you think I want to be like this? I can’t stand myself. I’m a fuck up, everyone knows it. For fucks sake my own father hates me.” He gets up, adrenaline coursing through him.

“I wish I could be normal. That I was enough of a man to be worthy of anything. I’m just a failure at everything so no point in pulling you down with me.” His eyes are collecting tears. His breath came in short bursts. “That’s the drugs talking. You are normal Rafe.” He scoffs at you. “No, the drugs just make it easier to swallow that pill.” He laughs out.

“I know what everyone says about me, I’m not stupid. Ever since my mom died I was some monster. No one wanted to be around me and I just kept acting up. I know I’m not worth anything, then there you were. My own personal sunshine. For a second I was able to forget who I was. I was someone else and didn't have to worry about the rumors that go around. Guess I forgot I don’t deserve good things.”

He’s laughing but you can hear the hurt in his voice. Tears fill your eyes at the thought of him feeling so worthless. “You do deserve good things.” “Look at what that got us. I fucked it up and you don’t even want me around. I get it, don't get me wrong but it sucks. I didn’t think you meant anything, the little voice in my head saying I was a fool for wanting to be with you. I let it get to me and now whatever we were is gone.”

A tear falls down his cheek. “I lost the last good thing that ever happened to me. You know you’re the only person that cared about me. It’s funny not even my own family likes me but you did. You were a breath of fresh air, the sunny day after a storm. I finally had you and I couldn’t even keep that. So no, I don't deserve good things.” His voice raises. A hollow feeling in his chest, he wishes it was a blackhole ready to swallow him up.

“Is that why you call me Sunny?” The nickname starts to make sense to you now. “Yeah, you’re this bright light that took everything away.” He sits down on the bed again, looking at the sun necklace laying on his table. He picks it up, playing with the gem between his fingers. “My Sunny. So beautiful it hurts. I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up. Wish I was different, maybe then we would actually be together.”

Your breath hitches, was this just the drugs? He did say that it just made it easier to handle how he feels. “I don’t want you to be different.” You stroll over to him, stepping between his legs. You grab his head in your hands so he can look you in the face. “I just wanted you to be you. I like who Rafe Cameron is. Why would I want you to be anyone different?” His eyes are shiny, glossed over with the tears that keep falling.

“It doesn’t matter now right? It’s too late.” His hand wraps around your wrist. “We can talk about this tomorrow. You should get some sleep, we’ll talk when you have a clearer mind.” You go to leave the room but he stops you. “Stay. Don’t leave me.” His eyes are pleading with you. “Okay.”

You take off your shoes as he gets up. He hands you a change of clothes and he strips from his, laying in his bed waiting for you. You don’t know whether to change here or go into his bathroom. His eyes are are staring at you and you decide fuck it. He divulged how he felt, you can give in for at least this. You change into the shirt he gave you, leaving the pants to the side and get into bed. His fist still holds the necklace, you take his hand. The piece of jewelry moving to you.

You look at it, mixed emotions fill you. The happiness when you first got it, how you thought it was a step further in the relationship. The sadness of when you found him at the bonfire. The confusion you feel at this moment. You forgive him. You want to get past this and it seems like he does too. There’s still this fear in the back of your mind.

He traces your facial features with a light touch, scooting closer to your body. You are both on your sides facing each other. His eyes are drooping, sleep knocking on his door. Slowly fading his consciousness as he fights it off to have one more minute with you. “I think I’ll always be in love with you.” His words are softly whispered between you two.

Your mind short circuits. He said he was in love with you. There’s no way he actually said that. His hand lays motionless on your side, the sandman claiming him as his next victim. You look at him and then the necklace once again. Shifting slightly as to not wake him, you put the necklace back on. You move closer to him, touching his jaw. Letting sleep take you with it. “I’ll always be in love with you too.”

#rafe x reader #rafe cameron #rafe obx #obx #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe x you #rafe outer banks #rafe x nannyreader

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seokgyuu · 2 days

Text

Coming back home for the summer hasn’t been fun in ages. Thankfully, that is just about to change when you lay eyes on Matthew who, according to Taerae, isn’t into older girls. Never backing down from a challenge you decide to approach him anyways - making yourself younger than you actually are and calling Matthew “oppa” more times than probably necessary.

Pairing: Seok Matthew x Fem!Reader

Genre: Comedy, Smut

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Reader is actively lying to Matthew to get into his pants, loads and loads of usage of the word “oppa”, alcohol drinking (idk in what country this universe is, they call each other with honorifics but they kind of are in the states because i made the drinking age 21…. just don’t pay it any mind ok, it’s porn disguised as a funny story) , this work contains adult content! MDNI! Smut warnings under the cut!

Playlist: Hot in Herre - Nelly (you’ll get it), Yeah - Usher, Murder on the Dancefloor - Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz, Durch den Monsun - Tokio Hotel

A/N: thank you sm @xscoupsx for the perfect header & divider!!! absolute masterpiece i am still staring at it. finally got this worm out of my brain!!! take this with a grain of salt, it's all fun and giggles. Tags: @cheolism, @the-boy-meets-evil

When you get home that day it’s his number on your phone (that he saved as ‘matthew oppa’ of course) that pops up asking if you made it home safely. It’s Taerae’s number that pops up to let you know he’s blocking you. Giggling, you fall down onto your bed, your slippers hanging off your feet threatening to fall off any second, but instead of caring, you open up instagram. You find him quick and easy, Seok Matthew followed by Gyuvin and Taerae and Hanbin and basically everyone you know in this small town. How come you’ve never seen him before?

Smut warnings: oppa kink, sexting, masturbation (f&m), unprotected sex (booo!), blowjob, cumming in mouth, lmk if i missed anything!

“Forget it. He’s not into older girls.”

Taerae is sipping on his milkshake watching you watch his former classmate and friend Matthew. You’re in the mall in Taerae’s hometown which also happens to be your hometown. You’ve left for college around a year and a half ago and coming back here never truly excites you anymore. Or at least it didn’t use to. Now, looking at the young man outside of Mikey’s Milkshakes handing out flyers with sweat dripping down his temples, you think that just about changed.

“He doesn’t know that I’m older,” you shoot back, sucking on your own straw and enjoying the taste of peanut butter on your tongue.

“You look older, noona.”

A napkin hits Taerae’s forehead. It was you. You threw the napkin. He just chuckles and shakes his head

“No, you don’t get it. Matthew is… weird. Like he has this whole thing where he hates when people call him cute. He gets all upset and tells them he isn’t cute, he’s Woohyun oppa.”

While you do cringe, you also find it quite interesting. You’ve heard of this before - younger guys who didn’t like to be younger. He was Taerae’s age, so freshly 21 and attending the local college with Tae, which meant if anything he would have to go for girls 18 or 19 and, come on, they surely couldn’t please him like you!

“How convenient,” you smile in a way that makes Taerae shiver in something close to fear, “I’ve always wanted to try calling a younger guy oppa.”

“You’re horrible,” Tae comments, shoving his milkshake away from him, “horrible and crazy. He is never going to fall for you being younger.”

“Really? Want to make this interesting then?” The evil grin on your face certainly means nothing but trouble. But it’s summer and this town is boring as hell with nothing ever happening. So, why not? Taerae shakes your hand, betting against you that you, in fact, will not succeed to bed Matthew. It’s not just pride that’s on the line but also free milkshakes for the rest of the summer.

You somehow convince your friend Gyuvin to act like you’re his same age cousin from a different town. As it turns out he also knows Matthew. How does everyone know this guy but you? And why has no one ever mentioned to you how they have an extremely attractive friend who just so happens to have an oppa kink?

It’s honestly a mystery to you how Taerae didn’t think you’d be able to pull off being a 04’ liner. You can pretend to be way younger than you are! You don’t look like you’re twenty-three! Matthew is eating out of your hand by lunch. He listens to you attentively and everytime you call him “oppa” he seems to melt into his chair.

His profile isn’t private which means you didn’t have to follow him to stalk his 103 posts, but you still do. It saddens you that you can’t comment things like “you look so good, oppa” or “woah, that color looks so perfect on you, oppa”, but you digress. Sucking on a popsicle from the freezer, you scroll through his feed, seeing that he definitely hasn’t been this hot for a long time. There is a ringing in your ear and you try to lose it by scratching it. What the hell? Back to Matthew, please! Just last year he looked like a teenager freshly hitting puberty and now? He’s buff and handsome and just thinking about what might be under that shirt makes your thighs press together. Perhaps you have a serious problem because when you spot the highlight saying “gym” with the flexing arm emoji, you are already halfway down with your hand to touch yourself.

His gym pics are a goldmine for your dirty fantasies and thoughts about the man you’re planning to seduce. There is one where he flexes his arm and grinning while winking into the mirror he’s taking the pic in. Then there is the one where he is sitting on the bench press, leaned forward with a half smirk, his tight tank top leaving nothing to the imagination. The shorts he’s wearing make you feel dizzy and as you imagine what his cock would look like and what he would feel like inside of you, you begin to circle your clit with your thumb, throwing your head back as you continue your fantasy. Matthew and you on that bench press, his strong arms holding you down as he fucks into you mercilessly.

A ‘ping’ disrupts your session and you open your eyes, looking down to see he had texted you again. It’s almost comical - you thinking about him fucking you and touching yourself to that thought and him texting you a “it was so nice to meet you” message as if you weren’t thinking about him fucking your brains out.

Sighing, you pull your hand out of your panties, wiping them off on your shorts and decide to text him back.

matthew oppa: it was so nice to meet you

you: you too, oppa <3

matthew oppa: hehe

matthew oppa: so, what are your plans this week?

you: hmm, not much… why?

matthew oppa: oh well, i was wondering if maybe you’d wanna go to a drive in with me?

you: ohh, like watching a movie in a car?

matthew oppa: yeah, exactly!

Now, this is where your current horniness decides to take over. Licking over your lips you sink deeper into your pillows, your slippers completely fallen off now, your legs spreading slightly as you stare at the screen, thinking about how you can make this guy jerk off to you right now without sounding too experienced.

you: well… i would love to see you again, oppa, but…

matthew oppa: but…?

you: my friends… they told me some things about drive ins you know

matthew oppa: huh? what things?

you: uhm… like that when you go to a drive in with a boy… well you know 🙈

matthew oppa: oh

matthew oppa: y/n you don’t have to worry

matthew oppa: i won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with, oppa promises

you: that’s nice of you to say, oppa💕

you: but… what if i want something you’re not comfortable with?

matthew oppa: what do you mean?

you: it’s embarrassing 🥺

matthew oppa: you don’t have to be embarrassed with oppa, yn

you: ok if you say so…

you: it’s just that i know we only met today but

you: i just can’t stop thinking about you

matthew oppa: that’s cute

matthew oppa: oppa can’t stop thinking about you too, if that makes you feel better baby

Baby. You bite down on your lip. As much as it makes you cringe it makes your pussy wet, the way he speaks and reacts, how he addresses himself as ‘oppa’. You wonder if maybe your need to get laid is taking over the intelligence you usually inhabit.

you: really? 🥺

matthew oppa: yeah

you: are you also… thinking naughty thoughts, oppa?

matthew oppa: oh

matthew oppa: are you thinking naughty thoughts, baby?

you: idk… 🥺

matthew oppa: you can be honest with oppa, baby, i would never judge you

you: i am thinking naughty thoughts

matthew oppa: like what?

you: saw oppa’s instagram… your gym highlight

matthew oppa: you liked it?

you: a lot 🙈

matthew oppa: how much did you like it, baby?

you: so much that i got all wet… down there

You want to die and at the same time you don’t think you’ve been this wet (down there) in ages. Not the dude from the semester end party who had fucked you in the smallest bathroom known to mankind and most certainly not Jiwoong last summer. You wonder if anyone has ever made you this wet without even physically being present.

matthew oppa: fuck

matthew oppa: you got wet just from my pictures? you like oppa that much?

you: i do… it’s so embarrassing

you: stared at you the whole day today… now i want you to do bad things to me, oppa

matthew oppa: yeah? what do you want me to do?

you: wanna get on my knees for you and have oppa fuck my mouth 🙈

matthew oppa: shit… got my cock so hard from just reading that, baby.

you: does oppa wanna fuck my mouth?

matthew oppa: fuck yeah. your mouth and your wet pussy baby

you: i’m so wet oppa, so wet for you 🥺

matthew oppa: can i call you?

He ends up calling you before you can respond his raspy voice on the other side of the line already telling you he’s getting off. What follows is just the two of you simultaneously masturbating while telling the other dirty things you wanna do to each other. He tells you how he wants to fuck you (his main fantasy seems to be you on all fours and him behind you drilling into you like a sledgehammer) and how you need him to fill you inexperienced pussy.

Obviously you don’t say that, you just hint at it. Matthew wants to be an oppa, he wants someone younger who looks up to him - especially in a sexual way. So, of course you’re gonna lie to him and tell him you’ve only had sex like twice and both times had been five minutes tops and you also had never had a guy make you cum or cum inside of you. All of these are lies. Your body count has gotten to a point of you not even remembering anymore and the amount of plan bs you had taken should probably be illegal. You’re not responsible when it comes to fucking and you are well aware. Matthew, though, doesn’t need to know this.

When he cums with your name on his lips and you cum begging for him to fill you up, you call it a night.

The drive in idea doesn’t come up again. You worry for a day that he might have lost interest. Then, you hear from Gyuvin that the drive in had to close because there was a fire and Matthew has just been swamped with work. You deem that as a good enough reason for him to leave you on read for approximately two seconds before it starts to piss you off. Thankfully, summers in your hometown promise extreme ragers every weekend to which you are sure Matthew will come too. At least you hope he does.

Out of all people, Jiwoong is the one to throw the first big rager of the summer and even knowing that Jiwoong could very easily blow your cover, you decide to go. With your sluttiest little dress and some skimpy underwear on, Taerae only sighs when you get into his car.

“You will give the man a damn heart attack,” he comments as he turns out of your parents driveway. You chuckle.

“Let’s hope that happens after I win that bet against you, Taetae.”

“You truly are a horrible person. Lying to get into someone’s pants? Shouldn’t that be below you?”

“Dramaqueen.” You roll your eyes and pull down the visor to open the small mirror and check your make-up.

“I’m just saying,” Taerae continues as he stops at a traffic light, “watch out. If he finds out you’re lying chances are he’s gonna be mad.”

“Come on. I’ve lived in this town my whole fucking life. If anything it’s kind of his fault for not knowing me.”

It is odd. How he has apparently been in Taerae’s class all this time and neither of you knew each other. But then again, how were you supposed to know everyone? You don’t see Taerae looking at you with the biggest side eye. And even if you had, you probably wouldn’t have cared.

Jiwoongs house is huge. His parents are both lawyers or whatever and you remember vividly how one of Jiwoong’s friends wanted to hit on you, some small unremarkable guy you had already forgotten the name of, and how Jiwoong saved you from him, getting your pussy as a thank you. In his parent’s room. You wonder if they ever found out.

There is already loud music playing when you get to the house, Tae parking his car in the last available spot on the street. Getting out, you try your best not to flash the people walking past you and Tae chuckles when you land on your heels a little shaky. You decide to ignore him and just start walking towards the door, him right behind you. Right at the entrance you already spot Gyuvin with Ricky and Gunwook and you raise your brows when you spot a red cup on the latter’s hand.

“It’s coke, noona, I swear!” He says the second you reach him, showing off the contents of his cup by tilting it slightly. Clicking your tongue you nod in approval, moving on to the other two.

“Technically,” Gyuvin says, his own cup suspiciously close to his chest and far away from your glaring eyes, “you are the same age as us tonight, so…,” he seriously tries to talk him out of this. You put your hands on your hips and look at him, Ricky, his cup, Ricky’s cup. The two share a gaze before sighing and finally handing the cups to you. You smile triumphantly.

“Very good. Thank you, boys.”

“Aaaand these are for me, thank you very much,” a voice startles you, taking the two cups from your hands. Your look to your right and see Taerae grinning widely.

“What? If they are underage, so are you, bestie.”

Waving with his occupied hands, Tae goes inside humming along to the music. You groan and roll your eyes, knowing full well you did this to yourself but also hating Taerae because this was obviously all his fault.

“Now, now. We can all have a wonderful time without alcohol!” Gunwook smiles widely and if he wasn’t so adorable you might have punched him in the stomach. Instead, you just sigh once more and walk into the house, leaving the three boys behind.

Inside, there is a big crowd of people gathered in the spacey living room and your eyes are already scanning your surroundings for Matthew. While you really want him to fuck you (like so much you literally thought about not wearing any panties just for him. Then you put on your dress and realized there was no way in hell), you also need to stay in character. You are innocent, shy, a young girl who needs her oppa to show her the ropes. Perhaps, you are even a little insecure because he left you on read for two days, who knows?

It doesn’t take long to spot him. And when you do, you are suddenly thankful Tae took the cups away from you because you for sure would have dropped them. It’s almost comical that Nelly’s “Hot in Herre”starts playing right this second.

Matthew has his hair styled up, a few strands falling into his forehead, his face so perfectly on display you want to place kisses all over it. And as if that wasn’t enough, there is a white sleeveless shirt on his muscular body that lets everyone know he is buff and proud of it.

Fuck. You need him. Like, right now.

No one has ever looked that fucking delicious, you decide. He is the yummiest person on this planet and you’re gonna have him.

For a few moments, you only watch him. Watch how he talks to someone you don’t know, how he nips at his cup, how he laughs at a joke. It’s a miracle you haven’t started drooling. People keep on walking around you and only when one nearly runs you over, you decide to move closer to Matthew. So far, he hasn’t seen you.

Biting down on your lip, you wonder how you could best catch his attention without going right over to him. The solution presents itself in the form of Hanbin standing leaned against the wall with a cup in one and his phone in the other hand.

Showtime. You grin to yourself. Then, you get into character.

“Hanbin oppa!” You squeal, loud enough for Matthew and the girl he is talking to hear. And when Matthew sees you, sees the way you beam at Hanbin, he feels a sting in his pride. His eyes burn into you, making you feel hot all over.

Hanbin, on the other hand, is more than confused. Mainly because you’re older than him and just called him oppa.

“Uh, what?”

“Play along, or you’re dead,” you say with the same enthusiastic beam as before, your voice lowered for only Hanbin to hear. He clears his throat and nods. He knows not to mess with you and your antics.

“S-sure, uhm, whats up?”

“Trying to make Matthew think I wanna fuck you instead of him,” you laugh loudly, as if he had said something funny, your left hand slightly hitting his shoulder, while the other twirls a strand of hair around your finger. Hanbin’s eyebrows shoot up.

“Right, Tae mentioned you were doing that.” He shoves his phone into the back pocket of his jeans and watches you with his brows still raised.

“Don’t judge me, Sung Hanbin. I remember very well how you tried to get with Katie last summer and literally told her your dad invented fucking Microsoft.”

“Is it my fault she didn’t know Bill Gates?” Hanbin defends himself right away and you chuckle.

“No. Is it my fault Matthew’s into younger girls?”

Hanbin stays silent for a beat, the song now changing to Usher’s “Yeah” and you wonder what decade you’re in.

“Fair point. But then again I’m just confused becau-,”

“Y/N!”

An arm is wrapped around your waist the next second, an arm you’ve been fantasizing over for days now.

“Oppa, hi,” your eyes are basically hearts staring up at him. Hanbin thinks he’s very likely stuck in a simulation.

“Hyung,” Matthew smiles at Hanbin, but even someone blind could have figured out it wasn’t an actual smile, “I think Hao hyung is looking for you. Better go check on him, yeah?”

Hao hyung definitely isn’t looking for him. Hao hyung is upstairs with a cute boy and a cute girl and Hanbin is well aware. Taking this as his leave, he nods at both of you and leaves you to your idiotic game.

“Hey,” Matthew now looks at you, eyes softening only slightly.

“Hi,” you repeat yourself, biting down on your lip.

“I was hoping to see you here.”

He moves closer to you, your back hitting the wall and his other hand tugging a loose hair behind your ear.

“Did you? I thought maybe you weren’t interested anymore after we, you know….” You truly deserve an Oscar for the performance you’re giving. Matthew licks over his lips.

“After you came so good for me on the phone, you mean?” His eyes bore into yours and your panties are seemingly swimming away.

“I- I, yes, after that.”

“Of course oppa is still interested, baby. Oppa just had a lot of work, oppa is sorry.”

He leans closer to you, both hands now on your waist and you can feel the growing tension.

“Oppa..,” you whimper when he is right there, so close to kiss you.

“Oppa has been thinking about you and your tight pussy all week, will you let Oppa fuck her?”

You moan when his hands creep around and squeeze your ass.

“W-We didn’t even r-really talk!” You cry after, but Matthew just chuckles, his lips hovering over your own.

“We can still talk after, doll. Now I desperately need to sink my cock into you, ‘am already so fucking hard.”

And then he kisses you. Kisses you hard and so full of lust and desperation your knees give in. He pulls you closer against him and you can feel he didn’t lie. He is hard. You decide not to give it too much thought as of why.

Instead, you part from him, breathlessly and grab his hand to take him to the one room you know for sure won’t be occupied.

Matthew’s hands are all over you. Groping your boobs one second, then they are back on your ass, all while Murder On the Dancefloor blasts through the house. Desperation radiates off of him and you bathe in it. Bathe in the way he drags your dress up and touches every second of skin he frees. His lips chase yours in haste and you wrap your arms around his neck, letting him push you towards the large bed in the center of the room.

“Shit, you’re so hot,” he whispers against your lips and you suck his tongue into your mouth as a response. You know he’s already hard. Can feel it when you press your hand against his crotch. He moans and kisses you harder, tongue continuously slapping against yours like he needs to prove a point.

Your back hits the bed seconds later, his thigh pressed between yours against your clothed cunt that’s already throbbing with want.

“Want you so bad, oppa,” you cry out, hands fumbling with that god forsaken muscle shirt that has got your pussy wet the second you spotted him in it. He rips off his body the next second and you sigh in absolute bliss. Immediately, you move to touch his toned torso, his defined abs, his perfect shoulders. Fuck, he is incredibly hot.

“Yeah? Want oppa to fuck you, hm?” His voice is deep and raspy against your ear and you nod rapidly, moving your hips against his thigh. Matthew chuckles, hands back to squeeze your tits, causing you to arch your back against him. His touch feels intoxicating, already got you addicted. It’s the way he is still oh so desperate for you. His kisses are sloppy and his cock is hard against you, his hips moving for any kind of friction. A part of you wants to take your sweet time with him, put him in your mouth, have him come undone on your tongue. Work him so long until he can fuck you for real. But there is a party downstairs and people will eventually notice you’re gone.

“Put it in me, oppa, please, please, please.”

He groans at your begging, his head nodding as if in trance, quickly ridding you of your panties and himself of his pants. You watch with a heaving chest how he doesn’t even fully shove his jeans and briefs down his legs, how they pool there at his ankles as he gets on his knees and flips you over. You gasp in surprise, another enormous wave of lust overcoming you when he pulls you up, your ass in the air, the perfect position for him to fuck you like he wanted to.

Matthew is surprised he isn’t foaming at the mouth with you in front of him like this. His eyes are glued to your glistening pussy, his cock hard against his stomach. Grabbing his cock, he jerks himself off a few times before guiding himself to your entrance - only to stop just before he breaches you.

“Shit, I don’t have a condom,” he curses. You look back at him.

“Just pull out, Matthew, please.”

In your impatience you forgot to call him “oppa”. For a second you’re worried but he is too distracted by you wanting him to fuck you raw he doesn’t even notice the missing honorific.

Without any more hesitation, he finally sinks into you, his thick head stretching you out just the way you hoped it would. Your fingers grab the bedsheets, eyes falling shut as you get used to the way he feels, inch by inch. And, shit, does he feel good.

Matthew is scared he’ll come right away when he bottoms out. His cock has never felt more comfortable inside anyone before. Almost as if he was made to fuck you and only you. Thankfully, he doesn’t immediately shoot his load and instead begins to move. And really, he tried to start slow and steady, he really did. But he’s just a horny dude, in the end. His thrusts are rapid and hard and you feel like you’re high. Your thoughts are empty, there is only him and the way he fucks you like an animal. All you feel is your rising orgasm, your pussy squeezing him over and over, your moans getting louder and louder. Matthew isn’t quiet either - both of you seem like you’re harmonising as he fucks you from behind with gluttal moans escaping him every few seconds. His eyes are rolled back and his hands are around your waist, holding you so hard you’re sure there will be marks later on. You are more than ready to welcome them.

“You- You take oppa’s cock so fucking well, fuck,” Matthew is so close to finishing, you can feel it.

“Oppa fucks me so good! Don’t stop!” You push your hips against him and he gifts you another one of his melodic moans that have you gushing over his cock. He curses under his breath.

“Yeah, I can feel how much you like oppa fucking you, such a naughty girl, aren’t you?” His nails dig into your skin and you cry out, his dirty words doing exactly what they are supposed to: bring you close to the edge.

“Ngh- Oppa! Gonna c-cum!” Your mouth hangs open, drool landing on Jiwoong’s parent’s bed. Matthew’s head is spinning and he does his best to keep fucking you exactly like this. He wants you to cum before he does, wants you to cum on his cock, wants to feel you squeeze and clench around him. Wants your release to be the finishing touches for his.

And when he leans slightly forward, his arm creeping around you to press his thumb to your clit, you can feel the knot tighten and finally explode.

You’re cumming hard around his cock, vibrating around him with nothing but utter pleasure. You keep calling for him, tell him to keep going, to fuck you through your orgasm and he manages to pull out of you just when you deem yourself satisfied. Quickly, he jerks himself off, ready to finish on your ass, when suddenly you are right there, your mouth around his tip, catching his spurts of cum that shoot out the second he feels your lips around him.

“O-oh, f-fuck! Yeah, t-take all of oppas cum! Fuuuuck!” He pushes you further down his cock, nose in his neatly trimmed pubic hair, more and more strings of his cum gushing down your throat. You swallow every last bit, even lick him clean when he pulls you back, his eyes meeting yours.

“That was insane,” he says, helping you sit up fully. You grin and pull him down into a kiss he is more than happy to return.

With your clothes back where they belong, the two of you walk out of Jiwoong’s parents room only to run into… Jiwoong. A mad Jiwoong. Who has a girl with him. A girl who looks more spooked than she should considering she came up here with Jiwoong for probably the same reason as you and Matthew did.

“Oh, hey!” You chirp and Jiwoong looks from you to Matthew and back.

“”Oh, hey”? Are you fucking with me?”

“Pretty sure I was just fucking with him, oppa,” you counter, thumb pointing over your shoulder and at Matthew who awkwardly lifts his hand in a wave. Jiwoong groans.

“Would you give us a second?” He says to the girl and the girl rolls her eyes but finally nods, making her way down the hallway and back downstairs, where Taio Cruz’s Break You Heart is most definitely making the people lose their shit on the dancefloor.

“Yo, hyung, sorry, I know this is your parents room and all, but-,”

Jiwoong raises his hand and Matthew stops speaking.

“Frankly, I don’t give a fuck, thank you very much. I am more interested in what the fuck this is.”

He points between you and Matthew and the two of you share a look.

“What- what do you mean?” You ask, continuing to play innocent.

Jiwoong blinks.

“Are you- are you for real?”

With being so focused on not understanding what the fuck Jiwoong is on about, you fail to see Matthew using his hands to gesture to Jiwoong to stop talking!

“Jiwoong oppa, what is your problem?” You ask, crossing your arms.

“My- what my problem is? Jesus, Y/N, just last summer you turned Matty down and instead went to fuck me and now this?”

“What are you talking about, what Matty, wha-,”

Matty. Matt…y… Matt….hew. Oh.

You remember. Remember the friend that had hit on you, the small unremarkable guy that you couldn’t even remember the name of when you tried. You hadn’t been mean to him, just politely said no and while he did take it as an answer, he still tried to make conversation. Matty.

Slowly, you turn to Matthew, your mouth hanging slightly open. He is red as a beet and one of his hands is rubbing his neck awkwardly.

“You- you are Matty?” You ask. After another beat of silence (not really silence considering there was still a party going on) he nods.

“Yes, that would be me.”

You are dumbfounded. Flabbergasted. In shock. Your arm flies to Jiwoong’s shoulder to hold yourself steady.

“But you are- you are so-,”

“You told me you saw the gym pics, didn’t you?”

Oh yeah, you did.

“You know I am not younger than you?”

“Younger than him, wha-,” Jiwoong chimes in, but neither you nor Matthew pay him any mind.

“Yup.” He pops the “p” at the end and you feel like you’re about to faint.

“So… everyone knows…. you know?”

“Yup,” he repeats.

They are playing fucking Tokio Hotel downstairs now.

“Right. Right, sure. That- uh, my bad.” You stand up straight again, letting your hands run over your dress.

“Noona-,” Matthew starts, but you hold up your hand.

“Let’s not. I need to let this sink in.”

You walk down the stairs and of course Taerae is leaning against the frame of the big arch, grinning from ear to ear. There is no way of knowing how he even fucking knows what just happened, but he does. When you finally get your hands on your first drink of the night, you are sure the bet was all part of the plan you were so kindly left out of.

Later, when you spot Matthew with Hanbin and Gyuvin and your eyes meet, you tip your cup at him. Well played.

“If it makes you feel better, he probably would have had you call him oppa during sex anyways,” Ricky says from next to you and you close your eyes.

This is going to be a long summer.

#zb1 fanfiction #kvanity #zb1 smut #seok matthew smut #ksmutsociety #matthew smut #matthew x reader #zb1 x reader #seok matthew x reader #matthew fanfiction #seok matthew fanfiction #matthew au #seok matthew au #zb1 au #zb1 imagine #seok matthew imagine #matthew imagine

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queenofallimagines · 2 days

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Alexis ness x witch reader

A/N: WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT THINK OF THIS BEFORE?? I TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO MIX MY WITCH HCS WITH BLUE LOCK AND OFC THE EX HARRY POTTER KID WITH THE STEM CAREER PARENTS WHO CRUSHED HIS DREAMS WOULD FOAM AT THE MOUTH!! Was word vomiting onto a page and this came out and I’m like??? Fuck yeah??

TAGLIST: @priv-rose

Alexis Ness:

- I am SO excited for this🗣️

- First of all fuck Harry Potter and fuck JK rat ass Rowling

- Good now That’s that’s out of the way

- He would literally be star struck like he def wouldn’t tell you he believes in stuff like that bc of his childhood

- But like when he sees your so chill he might joke around with superstitions

- But when you know more of them than he does,,,,?

- “Don’t forget! Salt over your left shoulder!”

- “Plant rosemary by your garden gate,lavender for luck and blow cinnamon into your house on the first of the month.”

- “I- what?”

- Putting some sigils for focus and luck in the shoes

- In the inside of the compression suit

- Reading incantations before a game to help(aka mumbling them while pressing kisses to his face)

- Putting a hex on the other team or players you don’t like (Kaiser)

- Kisses as a good luck charm

- Kissing isagi eyelids and forehead so he can smell his goals😔💕

- Charming a necklace he wears during games

- Putting something in his phone case for good measure so he can accidentally not respond to his family or kaisers texts💕

- You could put a little soccer ball charm on your altar for him🥺

- Alexis ness: Love please don’t hex the opposing team I want to win on my own

- Also ness: so like if you COULD hypothetically make isagi twist his ankle,,,,,

- He’s so funny and silly

- Asking you to turn people into frogs

- “It doesn’t work like that beloved”

- I like to think he would go to haunted places and drag you along

- If this is before he knows you’re a witch

- He pretends he just wanted to see the location and he don’t belive in ghosts n stuff

- Even tho he researched like 600 ghost protection methods before yall got here

- The two of you go in, joking around and having fun in the worn down building but the two of you stop dead in your tracks as you hear something?Footsteps...that aren't yours or his.

- Ness clutching you like a damn lifeline

- Your hearts are both pounding in your chests as you walk through the halls, unsure of what is making that noise that doesn’t sound like it’s coming from an animal…

- Mama ain’t raise no Bitch

- So you just straight up yell💀

- “Fuck off! go bother someone else!”

- Poor baby Ness quickly clamps his hand over your mouth, his eyes wide at your outburst. Whatever was making noise in the abandoned hospital immediately stops making noise tho 💅🏿

- Ness gives you the “you’ve lost your damn mind” look

- “Hey! Maybe don’t make whatever it is more pissed off-!”

- “That’s how you banish ghosts! so unless it’s something more dangerous you can tell them to kick rocks! We’re technically on their territory but like same thing I guess. They can’t do much but scare us and I’ve got like 10 protection charms they can’t really do much.”

- Pause

- Rewind

- Excuse me?

- “Y’all got about three seconds to get the fuck up out my way and two of ‘em are already gone because I don’t count shit but money so get to stepping Casper!”

- He’s going to propose to you

- “ Wait! You’ve got protection charms-!?”

- Ness is side eyeing you hard asf rn😭

- Not in a bad way but a “when was this??” Type of way bc he knew nothing of this

- “Ok then…but what about those ghost hunting shows! like there’s those that say that if they get pissed off they can hurt you for being on their ‘property’ if I remember correctly..”

- Like he’s pulling out his ghost busters encyclopedia lmao

- “Those are fake and I’m a witch they can’t fucking touch me. I’ve talked to demons🙄Some old grumpy spirit can’t do much but give me nightmares and even then they’ll have to box me about it”

- Lmao he’s like full stop staring at you wide eyed

- Kaiser baby you’ve been dethroned I fear

- A new emperor about to spin the block😔✊🏿

- Oh! And not let him hear you WORK with deities

- He will be like a kid in a candy store

- Like trauma suddenly gone lmao

- His ugly ass momma saying all that vile shit to him as a baby suddenly never happened

- He’s living his Peter Pan dreams!!

- Ness’ jaw drops to the floor as he hears you list out the demons you’ve worked with.

- Kinda thinks you’re making fun of him at first so he bristles at you but when he sees you’re not even smiling about it he’s even more shocked

- “So..you made a deal with them or something-? If you did that’s like….your soul is basically his now, right!?”

- “Not really? I just had to ask nicely.”

- Lmao he’s like trying to rewire his brain right now

- Nagging voices at the back of his head telling him

- Magic isn’t real and there’s probably a logical explanation for all of this like you’re so clearly kidding

- “Y-You’re like…a legit witch? Like you can do magic and summon stuff!?”

- “Yep”

- He stares for another few seconds before a smile creeps onto his face, his eyes going wide with amazement?

- Like you can actually see the stars

- “Dude this is SO COOL! You’re like a bad ass witch! Wait…CAN YOU DO MAGIC RIGHT NOW!?”

- Dragging you through the hospital as suddenly he done forgot about the shorts or whatever

- You flinch at something dripping but he don’t even turn around to look at it he’s rambling to himself for the most part

- “Alex baby It’s not like Harry Potter but I do curse people and do old ancient spells and stuff. Like I’m technically doing magic right now? I have a protective charm on us so nothing can try anything funny-“

- “A PROTECTIVE CHARM?! YOU CAN DO PROTECTION MAGIC TOO!”

- Lord

- He grabs your hand and starts yanking it

- Chill out???

- he’s excited about this magic stuff and as he holds your hand, he seems so innocent and curious about all of this now.

- “Show me some magic…PLEASE?”

- “Like what spell do you want? And again not like flying magic. It’s more…I guess stuff close to that? Still within the realm of reality. But I mean technically your parents do magic too right? They’re scientists. And just before you know how something works doesn’t mean it’s less magical yknow?”

- Ignoring the fact that last part is what sparked this entire head canon I’m right leave me alone

- “Eh..scientists are just nerds who figure out how things work, not really magical.”

- He’s gunna start pouting, he didn’t really believe in his parents nerdy sciencey stuff

- but your magic that’s WAY more interesting! Magic! Actual magic! How cool is that!

- “Magic isn’t just something you can’t understand. Like think of it. We don’t know shit about gravity and it’s still just a theory but if I drop something it falls right? Same principal. Things seen and unseen in this earth are magic. Like you can use chemistry in spell work all the time. like urine and bleach make chloramine gas and I’ve used that in curses.”

- See he only heard that last part I’m afraid

- was DEF not expecting the last part to come out from your mouth

- “I’m….You…put piss…into your curses?”

- “I WILL call the ghosts to come jump you on my behalf…”

- That got his ass In check real quick lmao

- “like the possibility that I CAN. Like it could be for a nightmare curse. Throw in some poppy seeds for mental unrest and nightmares, vinegar to sour their mind and maybe black pepper to get them to leave your life really fast.”

- “Huh…so piss, seeds, vinegar and black pepper in a mixture makes a nightmare curse…”

- “Why did you write that down….”

- Hope your grimore or whatever isn’t like private bc he WILL dig through that every chance he gets

- Got all the books on your shelves unorganized and fucked up be he done ran through them

- Like can you have some class??🙄

- Sits and stares at your altar for hours

- Like he’s looking at everything on it to see if he can figure it out

- No that table cloth is blue because that’s all I had leave me alone!!

- Back to deities

- He will always be polite

- Nothing if not a gentlemen

- Will say hello to them before YOU walking into the crib

- Like you know when a boy is so polite he talks to your whole family before even remembering he came there for you?

- That’s him

- “Hi great grandma! I bought you some of that liquor you like”

- Leaves more offerings then you I’m afraid

- He’s so baby deer coded they love him

- Everyone and they momma will ride or die for him.

- So like don’t let Kaiser be within a one Mile radius of your house and talking bad to him

- Matter fact? Don’t even watch his games in your home

- Bc now everyone mad

- “Why is he disrespecting my baby like that?”

- Like house is in shambles

- “Go give this to him”

- “What? But wasn’t this mine-“

- “Did I stutter?”

- He’s so beloved

- “I call him old man a lot. Or like Lucy-“

- “Lucy….king of hell, devil incarnate, Lord of the Underworld, and one of the most infamous fallen angels. And you call him LUCY?!”

- Jokes that your food is made with love but like now he’s not sure it’s a joke at this point….

#my writing #x black reader #blue lock #bllk #bllk x reader #bllk x black Reader #blue lock x reader #blue lock x black reader #alexis ness #bllk alexis ness #alexis ness x reader #bllk ness #i love him bad

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wc-confessions · 4 hours

Note

God okay, this might be controversial, but I hate when you bring up a ship concept, and somebody comes into the comments or replies just to be like, "They're second cousins, actually :((("

...Near every character in warriors is related in some way, unless they're direct siblings or parent/child, or it's relevent to the plot, can we please just start assuming people changed some things around in the hypothetical? Warriors is one of the few series where we should alwaya take things with a grain of salt, because we all know the Erins didn't actually think through the family tree. (Aka how we got Ashfur being Squirrel's uncle and Graystripe's parents being siblings for a bit there)

Unless it has other problems like a creepy age gap or other major issues that make it clearly bad, can we just let people explore their interesting little ships in peace? Shipping characters who are shown as being family in text is inherently weird and you shouldn't do it, but I think we should start giving a pass to pairings where you literally have to dig into the warriors wiki to figure out they're somehow cousins or one of them is the other's uncle. We're making fanworks, let people adjust canon and have fun from time to time.

#confession #text #anonymous #warrior cats

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theinheriteddutchess · 1 day

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Pulling Against The Stream

Summary: you've always been drawn to the sea, even if you feared it. When a handsome stranger shows up he completely turns your life and awakens a side of you you didn't even know existed.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Word count: about 11.475

Warnings: 18+, I'm not sure if there really are warnings, nothing gets too explicit. There's talk about nearly drowning, merfolk will eat people (but not in this part). Is Bucky a warning? I think he's a warning🤷‍♀️

(Notes: this was fun to work on, I fell in love with these two, I'm sad it's finished. Also, sorry Owen, you never did get that apology.)

🧜🏻‍♂️

The wind was a welcome coolness as it rushed through your hair. You looked out to sea, watching the calm waves rush to shore, wetting the sand before retreating again. It was one of your favourite things to do. Whenever you were on the beach you felt calmer. Like all your problems seemed to disappear. Even if for a little while.

You never went in the water, however.

You hadn’t since you were a little girl and you had nearly drowned. You loved water. You just couldn’t sink into it. Every time you thought about it, you saw your mother's face as she panicked and yelled at you. As a young girl you had realized something had been very wrong, and now many years later, you had avoided breaking through that fear, and simply given up.

You ached sometimes however, seeing families walking into the ocean and swimming, playing together, their laughter traveling through the air. If only that could be you. It was you, at some point, but the accident changed so much.

You sighed. You took one look at the water, saying goodbye in your mind, before turning and grabbing your shoes. You walked to the parking lot, trying to brush as much sand off your feet as you could, before slipping on your ankle socks and your shoes. You didn't want to be late. Your friends would give you a hard time about it. You had agreed to go to this party and they weren't going to let you forget it. They had taken you shopping last week for this event, even. A cute summer dress meant to flatter your body, without looking like you were trying too hard.

You knew they'd been trying to set you up with someone, a friend of Genevieve’s boyfriend, some guy named Owen or Odin.. You didn't really know, because you were protesting before they both convinced you to give him a try.

They meant well, but you were fine on your own.

You had a tiny apartment nearby the sea and you had a simple job that provided enough for you to be comfortable. You loved being able to be near the ocean and simply opening your windows and hearing the crashing of the waves, the smell of salt in the air. It didn’t matter that no one understood. You were happy here.

But today was different. Today your friends wanted you to have fun. And you had promised to. And you were going to. One night going out with friends and a hot man. It couldn’t be that bad, right? Sam was a nice guy, his friend was sure to be nice as well. You hoped. And if not, you had no problem bailing.

You showered once you got home, taking extra time to let the pleasant scent of your shower gel soak into your skin, and made yourself ready. You thought you looked nice, when you saw yourself in the mirror. Owen or Olaf should appreciate the effort.

Your friend Beth picked you up, her recently wedded husband in the back swiping away on his tablet.

“Hon’, put it away, it’s after working hours, okay?” she softly told him and he groaned but listened.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” you greeted them, smiling. They had been together since highschool and had just simply never parted. A rare thing in your opinion, but it gave you higher hopes for the future.

“Okay, so Gen told me they were already at the bar, you know the place, right? Shade?”

You did know. It was near the beach, a restaurant, bar and club all at once. It really gave beach resort vibes, but it was a little less rowdy than an actual dance club, and the food was rumored to be excellent.

You had a strong suspicion it was picked out deliberately to make you more comfortable since it was beach themed. You chuckled a little at the idea.

“It has excellent seafood, I heard.”

“We know how much you love that!” Beth told you, smiling.

It was true, ever since you were little you loved anything fishy. Your mother would go mental getting you to eat anything, unless fish was on the menu. You didn’t know why but other meat felt heavier, and you enjoyed the taste better.

It was a nice place. You arrived and it seemed all tables were full, but it didn’t feel too crowded inside. The restaurant had a perfect look out to sea, and the dance floor was separated in a way that the noise didn’t bother the dinner guest. It had a nice atmosphere. Seeing it now you were sure you wanted to visit again. That is, if the food was as good as promised.

You saw your other friend waving from a table in a corner of the room. You saw the friend that was supposed to be your date. Nerves were beginning to show, but you faked being confident as you walked over.

“Hello, making yourselves comfortable I see?” you greeted, watching the guy, Oscar or Otis, getting up and holding out his hand. You shook it. Firm but not too hard. A good handshake.

He was holding your chair for you and okay, gentleman. But that didn’t mean anything. Manourisms might be nice, but you never knew what lurked underneath.

You mostly listened for the first few minutes to your friends joking and sharing some details about their day.

The waiter showed up soon to take your drink order, and handed you the menu for dinner.

“I heard you liked seafood?” Your date leaned closer.

You nodded. “Yes. A lot. I’ve been told it’s a little unnatural, but I can't help it, I prefer a nice Plaice over a steak.”

“Nothing wrong with knowing what you want.” He smiled kindly.

“Exactly. How about you? Do you have any preferences?”

“Only about my car, and that’s pretty much about bringing me where I want. I know, not very manly of me, but I don’t see the point in getting excited over a piece of metal. It needs to function and if it does I'm good.”

“So what do you get excited about?”

“Honestly?” he leaned over like he was about to tell you a great secret. “I collect old movie posters.”

“Okay, so you love old movies?”

“A lot. My nan used to set me down at the tv to watch with her, I guess it’s where I got my love for black and white movies from. It’s probably to keep the thought of her alive, but that makes me sound mushy.”

“Not at all, it’s sweet actually.”

And it was. He was. He was sweet. You might even like to see him again if this was over. You were becoming more comfortable as the minutes ticked by.

The food was as excellent as expected. The conversation was flowing. And it was great being around your friends again, all together.

Ollie was a good looking man, with kind brown eyes and an equally kind smile. You weren’t sure if there was chemistry between you, or what he even thought about you, but you were sure that if you ran into him tomorrow things wouldn’t be awkward.

The evening progressed smoothly. Eventually your group migrated to the other part of the building, where catchy music and dimmed lights created a bit of a different atmosphere.You got another drink and kind of swayed your hips to the beat of the bass. Your friends were already dragging their partners to the dance area, and you stood next to Otto and kind of felt a little unsure. You wanted to dance, but he didn’t show any signs of asking you. And leaving to go dance alone seemed rude.

“I’m sorry, I am really bad at dancing.” He seemed to notice.

“It’s okay.” You raised your voice to be heard over the music. You were a little disappointed. “Not that I mind bad dancing.”

“No, I know it’s really awful, and I've stopped exposing myself to ridicule as a teenager,” He tried to smile, but maybe he saw in your eyes you were let down.

“I love dancing,” You admitted. “I don't get to do it often.”

“Well, then go. We can talk later.”

You hesitated. “I don’t feel comfortable just ditching you.”

“It’s not ditching when I say you should. Go and enjoy yourself.”

You thought about it for less than a second. “Okay, thanks.” You left your half finished drink and turned to a somewhat empty spot and let the music take over.

It had been a while. You normally didn’t have much time for these sorts of things. And, honestly, you often didn't make the time. You didn’t really like clubs, where it was so warm and sweaty and everyone pressed up against you. But you did like dancing. Moving your body, letting yourself feel like the most powerful sexy being on this earth once you moved to the beat.

You lost time. You twirled and swayed and closed your eyes. You forgot about anything else. But you were thirsty eventually, and glancing around saw your group of friends together talking somewhere ahead. So you walked to the bar to order a drink. While waiting, a body appeared next to you. you glanced up and were temporarily knocked aside by the beauty of him.

Long soft looking brown hair. Blue eyes seemingly glowing down at you as he stared back at you smiling. Oh his smile. Beautiful white pearls. His mouth was full and pleasant.

He was taller than you and seemingly muscular..

He was stunning.

He kept smiling and you were frozen. Looking at him like you had never seen a man. His arm reached out and grabbed the drink the bartender made you and handed it to you, because you were not aware of anything but him. You took it and sipped from it. Thanking him softly , even if you paid for it yourself.

He didn’t seem to move. Seemed comfortable being right at your side. You glanced at your friends once, still animated by themselves and turned to the stranger.

“What's your name?” You asked.

He moved his hands in such a way that made it clear he couldn’t hear you.

You told him yours. And though his eyes twinkled he didn’t say anything. He pointed at himself and made a weird noise. You didn’t get it, until he looked saddened at you.

Was he deaf? Well, no, because he could clearly hear you. What was the word? Mute? You weren’t sure, but you were sure he was telling you he couldn’t speak. “Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but you can’t speak?”

He shook his head. He didn’t seem to have anything with him to communicate either.

He lifted a finger underneath the glass and pushed it upwards. You had to drink or it would spill.

You giggled, “Alright, alright, I’ll drink, stop.”

It should be eerie how much he didn’t take his eyes off of you, but for some reason it didn't feel that way. He curled a finger around a bowl of peanuts and pushed it towards you.

“Oh no, I don't eat those, and you shouldn’t either, who knows how filthy the hands were that touched them.”

He pushed them back again, immediately, looking at them like they failed him. You knew you should go back to your friends. You should. Yet your feet didn’t move. Your eyes were captivated by him. You couldn’t stop looking. And neither did he. It felt like everything around you went quiet, and people ceased to exist. All you saw was him. His shiny hair, his beautiful smile, his eyes who were bluer than the ocean. You noticed you two were standing awfully close once you thought how clean he smelled. He didn’t seem to wear a scent, he just smelled fresh.

You felt a weird pressure in your chest. Close wasn’t close enough. The two of you just stood there, nearly pressed against each other. Wordless. Staring.

You felt him taking your hand.

And you let him. He guided you away. You did not know where, you did not see anyone or anything. Just him. As he led you outside. It was dark, and you felt sand sneaking through your shoes, the silty air of the sea in your lungs.

You were at the beach, the moon shining down on the two of you, illuminating his features.

His hand reached out to stroke your face softly, his eyes following his fingers over your skin, like he wanted to absorb everything he saw and felt about you.

You stood still and let him, it felt like a dream. Everything was blurry but his features were clear. His fingers were so soft as they explored you, his hand traveling over your neck, shoulders, down your arms, you shivered and then he pulled you near.

You hadn’t expected the kiss. His lips were so soft as they stroked yours. You closed your eyes and let him take the lead.

He laid you down. his body covering yours quickly. He was a little cold but you didn't mind as your body was heating up. It felt like a relief to feel his skin against yours.

His lips gliding down your skin, it felt so lovely. Your hands started exploring him the same way.

His strong muscles - and where had his clothes gone suddenly?- but the question left as you explored his form. He was damn near perfect in your opinion, you hadn’t found one flaw so far.

You would have worried about your own flaws if the look in his eyes didn’t stop any negative thought from coming up. You had never seen anyone looking at you the way he did. Like nothing mattered. Like you were the most beautiful woman on this earth. It was neary too much, that look. But you soaked in it, you had never felt more powerful.

Your dress seemed to disappear just as fast as his clothes had gone, you wondered if you were losing track of reality, but it didn’t matter. As soon as you nude bodies connected it had never felt more right. You were both so quiet, like even the sounds you made were private, just for the two of you, no one else was part of it.

You couldn't get enough of stroking his stomach, feeling how he quivered everytime you did. He made a noise sometimes like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t.You looked down, and even his manhood was gorgeous. And you never found it particularly exciting before. He was grinning, like he knew what you were thinking. Maybe your expression spoke a thousand words.

“You’re perfect,” You told him. it was completely truthful. You couldn't feel the shame you were supposed to feel.

His hand was laid against the side of your face, as he looked into your eyes again, like he wanted to say the same to you.

You felt your cheeks warm, weird that this felt so much more intimate than your actual naked bodies currently pressed against each other.

He moved a little closer still, his hand reaching down, and next moment he entered you. You hadn’t expected that. It should’ve been too soon, but he slid right in. Oh. He felt… he felt really good.

He moved, gentle long strokes. Not too rough, but precise.

You moaned now. It felt like your body wasn’t your own anymore. As he played it fluently and all the while your eyes not leaving the other.

You barely remembered when you finished, or him. All you knew was how he felt. And how he kept going, and again. Like he couldn't get enough. He managed to take a break at some point, to gather you up and carry you to your house, naked as the day you were born. It was a fortune you two weren't caught.

At your apartment, he set you down, you didn’t even remember unlocking the door, but as soon as you stood inside he was on you again.

His mouth was pure aphrodisiac to you. You couldn’t get enough. And neither could he, as his mouth and tongue explored all of you. You felt high with how he made you feel. You didn’t think you ever experienced such pleasure, and so much of it.

And all you seemed to notice was his blue eyes that were a beacon calling out to you and keeping you home.

🐚

The next morning you woke to a naked body next to you. Long brown hair spread out over the sheet as he was still asleep.

You took a moment to appreciate the sight.

Then you remembered you had ditched your friends. and your date.

You groaned and fell down on the pillow. you better had a good excuse ready when you faced them. And you didn’t have one. Well besides, “met a hottie and I couldn’t resist, apparently.” God, what had gotten into you? Besides him…

You glanced at him. Well, if you could take a picture Beth would at least understand. She was crazy about those romantic movies with chance meetings. But Genevieve…Well it was her boyfriend’s friend after all, and that made it more awkward.

Your lover woke up. Rolling over, exposing himself without shame. He reached out for you and you held your hand up. “No, I can't.” He actually looked disappointed. What had he expected, you had lost count how many times he was inside you last night. “And I'm afraid I have to face my friend’s wrath for leaving them behind. I can’t believe I did that, without even saying goodbye.”

His hand stroked your hair, while he hummed. Was he comforting you? You peaked through your hair at him. He looked so content though. Well, he hadn’t deserted his friends after all. He had seemed to have shown up alone.

You searched for your phone. It was on the dresser where you left it yesterday. And with about 84 messages staring back at you menacingly.

You decided to check Beth. She was worried. Genevieve’s wasn’t different, but apparently Beth had seen you leave, and they were confused. It wasn’t like you, and especially not without at least telling them something.

You decided a group call was best. Dive into the deep and face your actions.

“I know I fucked up,” is how you started the conversation, “I don’t know what came over me. He just showed up and it was like I stopped thinking, and I'm sorry I worried you. And I'm sorry for Ovid, he seemed nice. I just…. I have no idea.”

“He was very good looking,” Beth agreed.

“Owen is good looking!” Genevieve defended immediately. Owen! You wheeped inside, finally knowing his name…and relieved Gen didn't call you or on it.

“Yes, but this guy was like a model, come on Gen. “

Silence. She didn't want to admit it out loud.

“He’s still here,” you whispered.

“What!” Genevieve yelled. “Oh my god you skank, you let him stay the night?”

“I think we were too busy the whole night to even notice it was morning,” your cheeks reddened while admitting it. “You have no idea, it’s like he couldn’t get enough of me, and I…well I have never experienced this.”

“That good huh?”

“Oh my god you have no idea. He was…he was a lot, but not enough you know? I felt like I was high or something, he is so gorgeous, guys, and his body…if only you could see.”

“I can pretend to drop something off right now,” Genevieve said, deadly serious.

“What, no. No, we want privacy. I think. I’m not sure, he doesn’t seem to mind if anyone sees him naked, and I think…we left our clothes at the beach.”

Shrieking was heard from both sides. You continued to take their teasing for a while. You got it, it was probably hilarious to hear.

“You’re not mad at me?” you asked quietly once they calmed down.

“Maybe, but also, kind of impressed. Sam is probably more angry, because it’s his friend, but Owen took it in stride.”

“Oh god, I don't even know what to say to them.” you sighed. You were feeling shame, you did, but you also really didn’t regret it. Which was weird because you were never this irresponsible.

“Don’t worry, I'll smooth things over.”

“In the bedroom you mean?” Beth chuckled.

“Well it has worked so far. Besides, once I tell him this was the first time you ever got carried away and you're normally not like this at all, it must be a really special person to make you act this way, he'll understand.”

“I don’t even know his name.”

“Oh god this is priceless. You’re finally getting in touch with your inner whore.”

“Am not, but he’s just so..”

“Yeah yeah dreamy, we get it.”

An arm wrapped around you from behind and soft lips explored your neck. A familiar firmness pressing against your back.

“Hey, I’m talking to my friends,” you protested half heartedly, because you were already enjoying the ministrations.

He ignored your words, even though you were sure he understood you just fine. His tongue licked you softly, and your knees buckled.

“Okay, okay, I'm going to hang up, I will talk to you later.”

“Oh my god girl, what's gotten into you, is he-”

You hung up and dropped the phone. He turned you around and picked you up . Fuck, the way he made it seem effortless really did things to you. Forget about being sore, it was worth it.

✨

You were exhausted. Even after taking another nap. Your body pleasantly buzzing with all the attention it received. You had to get up eventually to get food.

Making some eggs and grilled cheese, you offered your lover something to drink. He sniffed everything carefully and then turned his nose up.

“Water then? Can’t go wrong with water.” You offered him a glass.

He did accept it, finishing it in one gulp and handing it out to you.

“Another?” you asked after seeing him drink like this, and he nodded.

He drank about 3 glasses before he seemed to be satisfied.

But he didn’t eat anything,

“Surely you must be hungry?”

He nodded.

“You don’t like eggs? Or cheese?”

He grabbed an egg and broke it to slurp the gooey stuff before you could stop him. A raw egg, you shuddered. But some people did that, right? Like those bodybuilders, for the protein. And he did seem to work out. Your eyes got temporarily lost glancing over all his muscles, before snapping out of it, when you met his eyes and they seemed to darken again. You quickly turned. As much as it was the best night of your life, you were really really tired. Not used to this kind of exercise at all. Your body started tingling however, so it was hard to not think of all the details he had given you to fantasize about for the rest of your life.

“So, I was thinking, we should find something for you to wear. We left our clothes at the beach, and I doubt I have much that fits you.”

He shrugged. It didn’t seem to matter to him at all.

“You can’t walk around naked, you’ll get arrested!”

His eyes glanced at yours, noticing the shock and then he pointed outside. “We should collect it?” You guessed and he nodded. “Well, I’ll go, you can’t go out this way.” So you showered and got dressed, but before you left he kept preventing it by kissing you, and again…And once more at the door. Before you pushed him back inside.

“Someone might see you,” you hissed , looking around if none of your neighbors were in the hall. “I’ll be back soon. Find something you can eat, yeah? I don’t need you fainting from starvation.”

He leaned into you again to kiss you, and you evaded him. “Later!” you giggled, watching the pleased smirk on his face. You fixed your hair, and your shirt, the cheeky bastard had sneaked in a handful, and went on your way.

You couldn’t believe you slept with someone on the beach, in full sight of potential witnesses. Finding your clothes didn’t take long, but your dress was covered in sand and seaweed, and his clothes were wet and needed a good wash. You didn't find his shoes, and then wondered if he had even worn any. You couldn’t remember, you didn’t exactly pay attention to his feet.

You took your hoard home and after a long make out session, where your lover acted like he hadn’t seen you for years, you made your way to the washer.

“Once they’re dry you are free to go.” Then realized that it sounded like you were kicking him out, and hurried to add. “If you want to, I mean, whatever you want.”

Whatever he wanted seemed to be you. His hands wouldn’t leave you alone. And you didn’t know where to go from here. Did one night stands normally stay until the afternoon the next day? Or seemed to keep wanting to have sex? You didn't even know his name.

“I don’t know what to call you,” you told him sadly. “Maybe you can write it down?”

You searched for pen and paper but he just stared at it curiously.

You wrote down your name.”You know, my name…now yours?”

He grabbed the pen and it broke, he must have held it too tight. “Oh shit, okay, no problem. Do you have anywhere to go? Like a job or home?”

At the word home he lit up. He nodded enthusiastically and wanted to go outside

“Wait, your clothes!” You held his hand, “We have to wait until they're dry. Maybe we should watch some tv until they are.” You led him to the couch and turned on the tv. He flinched but soon relaxed and watched the screen fascinated. He grabbed the remote and started zapping quickly, often looking at you with a bright smile like he had found some new toy to admire. You giggled.

“You act like you've never seen a tv before.”

He cocked his head and just stared at you.

“Okay, pick anything you want, I don’t mind.”

He did eventually settle on something. A documentary about ocean life and his bright eyes didn’t leave the screen for a while. Occasionally he seemed to scoff at something the narrator said but he stayed quiet. You wondered what it was like, not being able to talk verbally. It must be frustrating. Maybe even lonely.

He didn’t seem to have anything on him either. No phone or any information to figure out who he was. But he was a grown man and you couldn’t just pry. Besides, it's hard to pry when communication was off.

Once the laundry was done you handed him his clean clothes, and he looked kind of repulsed wearing them again.

“You really like being naked huh?”

He shrugged, then reached out to you with a teasing smile as he lifted your shirt a bit. “Oh no, I quite like being covered, thank you very much.” You giggled as he threw you a pout. “Come on, let's go, you wanted to show me home?”

He lit up again, and quickly grabbed your hand to drag you outside.

“Is it very far? Do we need the car?”

He shook his head and pointed again.

“Okay, lead the way, I'll follow.”

He walked fast, like he couldn’t wait, he made some weird noises in the back of his throat that you interpreted as excitement, and his enthusiasm felt addictive.

He dragged you towards the beach again, then to the water. He seemed to want to keep walking, but you froze.

“No! No I don’t go in-”

He turned to look at you, questioningly. Pointing to the water.

“No, I- I had an accident, many years ago. I don’t swim. I can’t.” You took a few steps back, your heart beating fast. Your mom’s voice and face clearly visible still after all this time, as she found you and yelled, crying, and in complete panic. You had nearly died that day your parents told you. And ever since, you never went in the water again.

He held his hands out for you to take but you shook your head, feeling faint and stepping back to sit down. “No. please, don’t”

He sat down next to you, wrapping his arms around you and just holding you. Sheltering you from the fear that raised inside of you as you remembered.

🌊

It had been a beautiful day. The sun shined brightly and the water seemed calm underneath the boat you were on. You loved the water, and your parents enjoyed being away from work for a while.

As a single child you were used to entertaining yourself and that's what you did most of the day. Walking back and forth on the boat, making up games in your head, watching the sea as the boat cut through the water smoothly.

Your parents were laying on deck somewhere, but you were much too busy to pay attention to them. You had just spotted something that kept your eyes firmly on the water. It never appeared at the same spot though, constantly moving. You didn’t know what it was. At that age your knowledge of any sea creatures was minimal, but it didn’t matter, anything was fascinating at that time.

Your sandwich dropped out of your hands and floated in the water for a second, before it disappeared. A fish? You walked back to your parents, pretending to be hungry still and getting another sandwich. Happily you walked back to the railing again, ripping a piece off and threw it. And it happened again. You were used to feeding ducks, but you never fed anything else, so this was fun!

Another piece and another until it was gone.

In your enthusiasm, and to continue the game, you hand reached out to your doll and you threw that as well.Then watched it float in the water.

Then you realized that your doll was lost in the ocean forever. Would it be eaten as well? Or sink down, like toys often did when you took a bath. You started crying, and wanted to run back to your parents, or the nice man that moved the boat, to make them stop it, to make them return it, but then you saw a hand grab it and throw it towards you. The doll landed with a wet squish on deck. Happily you ran towards it and hugged it, soaking your own clothes, but you didn’t mind. You had little Boop back. The world was perfect once again. You looked up and thought you saw a blur of color coming up and going down again fast. A friend. You were sure of it. Friends did things like this. Sharing lunch and sharing toys.

You ran inside to find stuff you could play with, but not mind missing. Like a plate, and your mom’s purse and one of your dad’s shoes…you grabbed it into your tiny arms and walked back outside. One by one you threw it in the water. And watch it sink, until suddenly it was thrown back up again. You clapped your hands, and threw it back in again.

This little game continued for quite a while, and sometimes you saw more of your friend. Dark hair, eyes looking at you from the water. Why was this boy in the water for so long? Mother had told you to be careful because the water was dangerous here and you couldn’t swim yet.

Why did he stay in the water, he seemed to enjoy it there. You wanted to climb over the railing and go to him, but your mother’s warning sounded in your ears, and you didn't want to get punished. You waved the next time he came up again and he waved back.

You didn’t remember very well what happened in between this fun time, and what happened next, but the sky changed and the boy seemed to fall behind the boat more and more, as the water seemed to be less smooth now than it was before.

There was some yelling from the men on the boat and your mother’s worried voice calling out to you. Eager to listen, you let go of the railing and turned to go towards her, maybe even tell her there was a boy in the water, when a big wave suddenly made you lose your balance.

You slipped easily and went down into the water. The coldness being the most you remembered of that scary moment.

The water seemed to suck you in and closed all around you as it became dark instantly. Your tiny body thrashing against the current and lack of air. You didn’t know what to do, this was something that your mind had not prepared you for.

Cold arms grabbed you, however and dragged you down, or up. It was hard to tell. But you did feel water sliding past your body and he pushed you up , and then air.

The sea kept pushing against your body and kept taking you down, but you were held up and you could breath, you coughed and held onto the arms for dear life.

When he started swimming away, the boat was not even visible anymore, you realized it was the boy. The dark hair and eyes were the only recognizable thing you had seen.

He swam against the current, somehow strong enough to do so, and it took a really long time before anything changed but the vast ocean in front of you.

It was scary but it was also the most exciting thing you had experienced. Because he was a friend! He had helped you! You saw a glimmer under the water, or felt something smooth and slippery against your legs, but it did not occur to you what it was until later. As land came in sight and he pushed you forward until you could stand. But you didn’t stand, your legs were too shaky to. You sat in the middle of the shore as water leapt against you, but you couldn’t be dragged away anymore. He floated in front of you, making sure you stayed where you were.

“Where am I?'' You sobbed a little, the adrenaline coursing through you and feeling scared without your parents.

His face dipped in and out of the water. “Land” he told you.

“I wanna go home,” You whined.

“They'll find you here…I think. It’s land.” He looked around. “They know you fell, they will look.”

You hoped so, this was worse than that time your dad was late picking you up from school, and you had to wait with the teacher as she sighed at the inconvenience. You never felt like she liked you after that. And mother would be angry because you fell in the water, like she told you.

You cried some more, but felt a cold hand around your ankle.

“They’ll come.” the boy said firmly. You didn’t know why you heard him so clearly, while you couldn't talk under water at all.

Then you saw his body. Your eyes glanced from his torse to his legs. But there were none.

You gasped. “Fish?”

He frowned until he saw where your eyes were focusing on, and then he laughed. “No, it’s a tail. So I can swim.”

“Can I get one?” If you had a tail your mother wouldn’t be angry anymore because you could swim just as well as the boy.

“I’m not sure. You’re not like us.”

‘Oh,” you said, disappointed.

“I know some of you can, I saw it myself!” He then said proudly. “And it would make sense. I did save you.” He glanced at you fiercely suddenly. “That means you're mine.”

“Like a friend?” you said excitedly.

He frowned. “What’s that?”

“Someone you play with. Someone you like.” you explained, glad to know something he didn’t.

“Oh. Yes, like that. I like you,” he cocked his head. “I can keep you.”

“Okay,” you smiled. You weren’t scared anymore. The weather, as suddenly as it had changed, had turned calmer again, and you weren't alone. You had your friend.

“I’m going to have to bite you though. If I'm going to keep you.”

Bite you? That didn’t seem fun. You weren’t sure, but you didn’t want to be called a scaredy cat again, like Lisa sometimes told you when you jumped out of the way if she threw a ball at you, and he had saved you, so it might only be fair.

You shrugged, pretended to not be worried and said. “Okay.”

He came up and grinned. It suddenly seemed less friendly like this, but you already said you’d do it, and a promise is a promise, wasn’t it? He slithered up closer, and you were mesmerized by his tail. It was really beautiful colors, blue and white and shiny…you wanted to touch it, but your mother raised you right, you didn’t just touch people. Unless they said it was okay, like you did, to this boy.

He moved really close and you noticed how cold his skin was. You felt his face moving closer to you and wondered where this bite was going to be. He made a weird noise, but he seemed to not say anything if his face was out of the water. Maybe he was shy up close?

You felt his mouth on your neck, and then, quickly, he bit down sharply. You screamed because it did hurt, and moved back, but he moved with you until he let go. Blood was covering his mouth and your hand flew up to your neck to feel.

"That hurts!"

“Of course it does, how else are we supposed to feed?”

You frowned. “You're not supposed to eat me.”

“No, not you,” he seemed to agree, “I Wouldn't bite you there if I was going to eat you.”

Where was he going to bite if he was? you wondered but in your young mind it seemed like an explanation enough.

“Now I can find you. And you'll come look for me , right?

You nodded. Maybe you could go on another boat trip, or sometimes your parents took you out to the beach. You loved the beach! It would be even better with a friend to play with.

You continued talking, and playing. He loved splashing you with his tail, until you shrieked in protest but couldn’t stop laughing. Until you became so exhausted that you started yawning and your eyes were drooping.

“They’ll be here soon,” he frowned, like the thought bothered him. “You should go on land, and I need to…leave.”

“Can’t you stay?” You pouted.

“They can’t see me, they’re not friends.”

You nodded. “Okay, I’ll see you later.”

He hummed and seemed to drift back.

You hoped he would still be nearby so you could wave at him once your parents were here. But you crawled further onto the sand and laid down there, and sleep took over you. It was the worried yells that woke you again.

Your parents rushing over to you and grabbing you and shaking you and so much yelling. Your mother's panicked voice as she said she thought you were dead. That you had drowned. Your father tried to calm your mother down. The two of them taking turns holding you, too rough, too long. You, cryinging and panicking again, remembering the cold dark water. How it kept dragging you back. How there had been no air and your body felt like it was going to explode from pressure.

How afterwards there had been no boat trips or beach days. And how when the time came to learn how to swim your mother's face triggered your fears so much that you hadn't dared to go into the water, and had full out panic attacks until they gave up.

How many trips to the therapists hadn’t been enough to keep from telling that a boy saved you, that not only fishes had tails, until you learned to keep your mouth shut and realized it was a dream. Maybe something your mind conjured up to feel safe again. A savior. A protector.

You still sometimes told someone, like your friends, but no one believed it and you were forever stuck in believing that they believed it wasn’t real, and therefore so should you, and still feeling it had been so real to you.

But what about the bite? Well, there had been one, and your parents took you to the doctors, afraid a shark or something had nibbled on you, but there had been no infection. In fact it had stopped bleeding very quickly, and healed very well. It was a faint shimmer on your skin now. You knew where it was and knew the slight ridges you had to look out for, but it was barely noticeable. Still whenever you rubbed it, it gave you a sense of safety. Something that seemed to look over you.

💭

You sat on the sand, looking out to sea. Next to you sat your lover, maybe you should give him a nickname because it sounded scandalous calling him that. Like a Victorian lady wrapped up in a torrid affair, waiting to be exposed so your older husband could challenge him to a duel to the death. Although, looking at him , you were sure he would win any fight. His body really was something. Healthy, with muscles in all the right places, no tan lines anywhere. Well, he did seem to have a fondness for nudity after all.

You lowered your eyes, you had no idea what had gotten into you. One look at him and you were a goner. Your mind simply stopped thinking for itself and only seemed to focus on his beauty. You never expected to be this shallow. But it wasn’t just looks, he was kind. Even without words he made you feel understood and safe. He had comforted you and listened to your ramblings as you shook under the fear that raced through you. Making noises that let you know he was there. His strong arms keeping you safe from the horrors in this world.

You had told him what happened. Told him about falling overboard and nearly drowning, how your parents found you later, and were surprised to see you unharmed, but were upset nevertheless. How everything resulted in your fear of being in the water. But that you loved the sea, and kept coming back almost everyday, no matter how short. You just never stepped inside it.

How you couldn't swim because of it.

He listened, eyes full of understanding and interest. Not once did you seem to bore him. But you didn’t tell him about the boy, you didn’t want him to think you were crazy, or childish. No, you told him what your parents told you. How you must've swum upwards and the water pushed you to shore again. How you were lucky.

How you had to be more careful. And you could have died. It was something your therapist had said shouldn’t have been said to a young child, but it was said in worry, and your mother’s reaction made your fear worse. You knew all that. And yet, you never dared to dip even a leg in. You tried your feet a few times but it all seemed to overwhelm you shortly after and it felt easier to avoid.

can’t

You looked at Blue, deciding on that name because of his eyes and told him. “I find it weird that the sea can both terrify and soothe me. I stay away, I yearn to be here and yet, I can never let go and embrace it. There is a feeling something will happen, and I don’t know what.”

He wrapped his arm around you, letting you lean against him.

“I wish I could know your name,” you sighed. “I know nothing about you.”

And yet he knew your deepest fear.

He took your hand and laid it on his heart and smiled. It felt like a love confession and you smiled. “You’re the romantic type, huh? All handsome stranger coming to save the innocent lady and sweeping her off of her feet and courting her.”

He grinned widely and nodded, then got up and held his hand out for you. You took it. Then he grabbed and lifted you up as he was holding you in his arms again. You honestly did not think you would ever tire of it. It was such a cliché, but it really made your heart beat faster.

“You’re good at courting too?” you teased, and watched him nod ever quicker.

“You seem perfect. Are you sure I'm not dreaming?”

He kissed you. Well, it wasn’t the worst dream if you were.

🏖️

Your one night stand turned into two, you and Blue spend the whole day together, walking down the beach, collecting seashells, he offered you the prettiest ones and you accepted gladly. You had enough shells, but it was sweet to be gifted them.

You arrived back home, rosy and a little sweaty, and very hungry. Pulling open your freezer and fridge to see what you could make, you noticed open packages and a lot more room than you had the day before.

“Blue?” you asked over your shoulder, knowing he by now knew it meant him, and he appeared a second later in the kitchen.

“Did you…eat the fish?” You asked a little nervously, the question seemingly ridiculous, but there really wasn’t any other explanation.

He nodded happily. and you looked at all the packaging he finished. That was a lot of fish…you also didn’t see any used pans or smelled anything coming back. Now he could have cleaned up… But it had all been frozen, it would’ve taken a while to defrost before it could be prepared. There had not been enough time before you had returned looking for your clothes.

“Did you eat it raw? Because that’s very bad for you.”

He shrugged.

“You could get sick.’ You worried, you didn’t really know what could happen, but getting sick was one thing you heard.

He shook his head.

He hadn’t seemed off, maybe raw fish was okay when it had been frozen, and was still frozen at the time of consumption? You had no idea.

“Are you one of those uncooked food eaters?” you tried.

He nodded.

“Oh okay, well, I don't really know what I have at home for you to eat.”

He pointed at you, grinning.

You laughed. “Well I doubt I would be tasty.”

He grinned even wider, a little more menacingly and stepped forwards, shoulders bracing like he was going to jump you.

“Oh no. I’m chewy, really unpleasant to get stuck between the teeth,” you giggled as you stepped away. “Will give you horrible stomach pains afterwards, you won’t like it at all.”

Then you shrieked as he moved forward and tried to sprint away. Tried, because he had you the next moment. He kept amazing you with how fast he was.

He held you against the fridge and stared into your eyes and hummed.

He made you weak when he looked at you that way. His eyes told you there was nothing he would rather look at than you, and it made you gooey inside. You had never had a man making you feel this way.

“You are so beautiful,” you whispered. So kind, so strong, so gentle. He really did seem perfect.

He kissed you slowly, his full lips just loving yours, taking his time. By the time he lowered them to your neck you had already widened your legs and he lifted you up.

While being carried to the bedroom, you really did wonder if this was real.

💙

The next day you went shopping, there was no food and Blue didn’t seem to like anything you had in the apartment. He wanted to come with you, and you easily agreed, having become used to his presence. you closed his seatbelt for him because he didn’t seem to remember to, warning him ‘safety first’ before starting the car. The way he looked being in your car was strange, but you didn’t comment. You knew he was a little different, and maybe he lived somewhere very remote, or maybe he didn’t come from here. It wasn’t a good explanation, but you had no reason to complain when he was the best man you had met so far in your life. So he didn’t know how technology worked? He knew how to work your body and that was much more important. The thought made you blush. You had never seen yourself as a very sexual creature, but he sure brought it out in you.

Shopping was, interesting, so to say. Blue looked around in wonder, but also passed by most foods you would pick out, and visibly preferred the fish section. You decided to go with what you both would like, but made a note to make sure to cook it for him before he died of salmonella. It would’ve been a tragic ending to your love story.

Packed with way too much fish you would ever finish on your own, you went back. Cooking was a little complicated, because Blue was intrigued by the process, but was more intrigued with touching your body during, and you were so distracted you nearly burnt the meal. And forgot to cook the vegetables properly.

Blue looked suspicious once a plate was put in front of him.

You laughed. “Okay sorry, but I don’t know how to eat fish other than cooked, and I don't want us to get sick. It’s good though, I promise. And I kept your veggies uncooked, like you wanted, right?”

You didn’t know how a raw diet worked, but fish was something you did not want to serve raw. You just hoped he wasn’t insulted by it.

He took a bite carefully, pulled a face, seemed to hesitate, then took another bite pondering. It was fascinating to see all the expressions so clear on his face. He showed everything he was thinking, and it felt like a better communication system than all the people that said one thing, schooling their face, but meant another. Blue had clearly never learned any tact, but at least he seemed honest.

Afterway carefully chewing, he seemed to decide that it was acceptable. You dug in yourself, it was very nice, your favorite dish. You were happy he hadn't found it disgusting. For some reason, the thought made you realize you would've been a little hurt if he had. Like he would have rejected a part of you, which was a ridiculous thought and you tried to shrug it off.

Desert was much more simple.

He had decided it was you. Again. You really enjoyed chocolate mousse, but the way he put his tongue on you had you decide that chocolate mousse was overrated. This was truly the best way to finish dinner.

🐟

You woke up. Warm, comfortable, an arm slung around your waist. Blue was still sleeping. Maybe you tired him out for once. The thought made you smile to yourself.

You carefully moved away from him to stretch, and made your way to the bathroom. Relieving your bladder and washing yourself, you wonder if this was going to be your life now. He seemed to have no intention to go, and you had no intention to make him leave.

It was strange, because you had just met. You knew nothing about him. But you still felt so comfortable around him.

You made sure to check in with your friends who were stunned with the fact your one night stand turned into some prolonged romance, but were happy. You didn’t really believe in love at first sight, but how else could you explain the jittery feelings that coursed through you as you thought of him? You didn’t want him to leave!

Things had to be settled today, you decided. One way or another you had to get some information out of him, or see what he wanted to do with the situation. What did he want? Would he like to keep seeing you? Go on an actual date? Was this already considered dating? You were a little worried he would suddenly disappear. And it frightened you how much you knew you would care about that.

“Alright , we need to talk.” You told him at breakfast, as he sucked on his raw eggs, something that still seemed disgusting to you, but you wisely didn’t comment.

“Well, I'll talk and you'll listen,” you realized. “This has been a lot of fun. Great, really, but I should know more about you, right? Who you are, or where you come from?”

You scratched your neck. it had been itching a little since yesterday, and while it was noticeable at first it started to get worse today. Maybe you had a little sunburn from yesterday, you did spend a long time on the beach.

Blue’s eyes zeroed in on your neck, it was like he could see what was there. But no one really did unless they were very close. He seemed to get a little dazed before your voice broke him out of it.

“Unless this is coming to an end.” You hated how your voice became a whisper. You didn’t sound confident at all, and maybe a little pathetic. Damn those stupid feelings.

He looked up at you confused. Like he didn’t know what you meant.

“I would like to keep seeing you, but I don’t know if that is what you want?” You told him, gathered up the strength to get some surety. It was either finding him missing at some point, or asking clarity for your own piece of mind. Maybe he had been waiting to see what you wanted anyway.

He got up, and long streaks of his legs marched him over to you, he grabbed your face with one hand. Gently holding it, he grabbed your hand with his other and put it on his heart.

“I think that’s a 'yes', I want to keep seeing you’?” you whispered, feeling yourself melt. Knowing he knew because he had to hold you up.

He frowned and nodded. Then he put his hand on your heart. Or maybe your boob, you weren’t sure. But it felt terribly romantic.

“Okay, that’s a step. Maybe we can go to your place, you must be tired of wearing the same thing.” You glanced down at his body “Well, when you do wear clothes.”

He pointed outside.

“You want to go now?”

He nodded but bit his mouth, like he was pensive about something.

“I don't have to go in, if that’s not what you want.”

He pointed at you.

“Me? You’re afraid I don't want to go inside?” As you saw him nod, you wondered how bad the neighborhood he lived in was. “I don’t care, If it’s that terrible you wouldn’t bring me there right?”

He nodded seriously.

To lighten the mood you joked. “And I'm sure you can protect me against any danger.”

He seemed to make himself bigger somehow, without making himself seem ridiculous. God, he was perfect. You wondered if one last time before you went would be a good idea. The sheets were beginning to be in need of a good wash, but once more wouldn’t matter by now, would it? And -

Your thoughts were cut off with a kiss and a devilish grin, like he had known where your mind had gone.

“Sorry, am I really obvious?” You said through heated cheeks.

He nodded, shrugged, and seemed to spread his arms out like he said ‘Who could blame you’.

You put your hands over your face. “You’re awful, no shame at all.”

There was a noise that, when you glanced back at him, might've been a laugh. so it made you laugh and then you were kissing again.

But he broke it off before it got too heated. Pity. He pointed outside again.

“Alright, let me make myself ready okay, And wear clothes! Not everyone will appreciate seeing your tooshie exposed.”

You did though. You enjoyed it very much, it was round and not too big or small. You stared at it as many times as you dared, and he didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact his own eyes never left your body either. He was just enraptured with you as you were with him.

Realizing you had been staring at the carpet for several minutes now without making progress at getting ready, you hurried. He waited at the door for you with the same cut off shorts and shirt he had been wearing all this time, no shoes. Oh god you had taken him shopping and no one had even mentioned he wasn’t wearing shoes. You had broken the one rule that stores would give.

You figured maybe no one noticed, because they were too busy staring at his handsome face. The only explanation you could think of.

You offered the car, but he pointed in another direction, and so you figured he must’ve lived nearby.

But as you neared the beach again, you became confused. Maybe he was a tourist? They sometimes booked one of those beach houses. But he led you on the beach itself, towards the water.

“What? Blue…you were supposed to take me to your home.”

He pointed to the water.

“What do you mean? You live overseas?”

He pointed at the water again, frowning. He made a movement with his hands and you didn’t get it, so he did it a few times, looking frustrated.

“Swimming?”

He stopped in relief, pointed at the water, to himself, to the water, ‘swimming’.

“You swam?” you said, stunned.

He nodded. Pointed towards you, and then him.

You didn't get it, again. “I don’t understand, sorry.”

He grabbed your hands, held them, and stared into your eyes lovingly.

“I get it, it’s hard to explain this way, really hard with no way of communicating.” you said sadly.

He looked at the water again, then pulled you.

And you froze and dug your heels in, staring at him in shock.

He looked at the water again, towards you, your entwined hands, and again towards the water, he made a noise. He sounded… urgent.Your neck began to itch worse again.

“Are you staying at one of the houses?” you said, a little desperately, even if you began to understand that probably wasn't the case.

He shook his head. He now looked at you a little sadly. Humming, his thumbs stroked your wrists where he was holding you. Like he was comforting you. The way he was staring at you, it was like he was expecting something. Waiting for something.

Your neck started to burn awfully. You tried to loosen your hands to rub the spot, but he wouldn’t let go.

“Blue, what - let go, my neck it’s -”

He let go of one of your hands, but was quick to lay it on your neck, right on the spot, it felt, it felt strange, it was burning up, but somehow his touch felt better.

Your body felt weird. And you noticed he was trying to pull you near the water.

“No, I can't,” you told him, feeling no control over your body as he dragged you further in. Your eyes drawn to the water, fear rushing through you, your mom’s face, the cold dark water surrounding you, your heart beating, no air, there was no air.

And then he appeared in your vision, his blue eyes, so like the boy in your memories, catching yours, calm, his hands holding you, a soft embrace. You felt your feet walking with him towards the water, wanting to protest, but your mouth was silent, and your eyes couldn’t look away from him.

Dark hair, blue eyes.

His body holding yours as he dragged you through the water, cold skin, slippery tail, A wide grin, so playful, words and promises made.

Blue eyes looking back at you tenderly, lovingly, holding you against him. You could see only him. Even as the water soaked through your sandals. Even as water splashed at your calves.

’You're not like us’...’I can keep you’... ‘find you’

Your body followed him in, he was smiling brightly, his eyes sparkling, but he didn’t let you go. He was guiding you, so gently. It was like your fear was there but numbed, in the background. Like the most important thing was to be close and not let go. You didn’t.

Water was around your waist, the waves moving your body back and forth, swaying in the current of the water, but he did not let you go, he did not pull away. He kissed you.

His soft lips felt like an explosion on yours. It felt like you were fading until all that was left was him. The way he felt. And the way he made you feel.

You made a noise. You felt weird.

Water splashing on you as he whipped his tail at you, laughter sounding through the air as you splashed back. His face disappearing underwater to speak to you.

Water reached his chest and you were already not feeling the bottom under your feet anymore. You let him pull you. He seemed happy. He kissed you and his tail sweeped against your legs and - …Tail? you looked down and saw the colorful glimmer of his tail, not legs, underwater. Before it would settle in, you felt a burst inside, a sharp painful burst, and you fell down. The power of it made him let go and you went under.

But his arms were around you immediately. You worried you would see darkness, but you could still see the light above you, the sun shining through the water. You could see him very clearly, his face so close to you as he helped you get steady against the movement of water. You expected to choke, but it felt like your lungs were just fine.

“What-” you said, and realized sound came out of your throat, water came in your mouth but disappeared and yet it did not feel like you ran out of air.

He smiled so happily, his eyes shining to you in delight.

“It’s okay. I got you.”

You looked around, water was surrounding you everywhere, there was seaweed twirling around you, the occasional crab you could see floating around. It looked like you could see a lot further than you expected down underwater.

You glanced down his body, noticing the tail, and momentarily were distracted by the beauty of it, before another movement distracted you. As you saw your own tail.

A shock went through you and you wanted to flinch away, but he wouldn’t let you. Your hands touched yourself. Slimy softness greeted you where your legs were supposed to be.

This wasn't real, was it?

"Bucky."

You looked up, confused.

“Bucky. My name. I couldn’t give it to you until now.” he grinned.

“Bucky?” you tested it out.

He seemed pleased with hearing it, and nodded. “Yes, I can't speak up there. I couldn’t tell you anything, only if you were in the water.”

You felt like you should panic, and there was confusion, and there was fear, but it all felt so….farther away. “What happened? I don't get it.”

“You had to turn.” He shrugged. “You didn’t want to go into the water the other day, but I knew you couldn’t stay here long. After we mated, I knew it would only take a few days before you turned. And I couldn't let you turn on land.”

That’s why he dragged you while you were so afraid, why he didn’t listen.

“But how can that happen, I'm not..this!”

“I marked you,” he explained in a tone like you should’ve known. ” When I saved you. You let me, remember?”

Blue eyes, dark hair….Bucky.

“You didn’t really think it was a dream, did you? Why else do you think we were drawn to each other? You’re mine.” For a moment his expression darkened. “Why didn’t you come to me? You said you would? I waited every day, and you didn’t come until a few years ago,and you never went into the water.”

Like you had disappointed him, failed him. Broke your promise. Which you did. It was a promise that shouldn’t have to be kept, you were children after all, but it became clear he had kept it. He had expected you to keep it. And it occured to you that rules, human rules, might not apply here.

“My parents were very afraid after what happened. They didn’t go anywhere near the sea for ages. Only after…when I moved out, I started coming here. Like I couldn't stay away.”

He seemed a little more pleased. “You were looking for me.”

“I-” ‘no’ you wanted to say. But weren't you always looking. Looking for something. Someone. Didn’t you feel you were missing something. “I couldn't get into the water.”

You tried to explain. You didn’t know why you felt the need to make him not angry or hurt by you. It hadn’t been your fault, but the way he acted was like you hurt him a great deal.

“So I came to you.” He moved closer and held your hand.

“Can I go back?”

“No.” He seemed happy with the idea. “ We don't go on land unless we have to. To kill, or to mate. And it takes years of practice. You have to be strong enough, and learn how. It took me all this time. But I knew I had to. I knew you were here.”

“You should have asked.” you said. Thinking of your friends, your family. If you couldn't go back, how worried they would be. How they would suffer.

“Why? You promised yourself to me. I saved you, I didn’t need to ask, I could have let you drown, or killed you. I didn’t. I own your life. And you said we were friends.” he shrugged.

Warmth pinched your eyes, but as soon as the tear appeared it had vanished in the cold silty water.

“Friends don’t hurt each other.”

“But I didn't." He sounded confused. “I would never hurt you. You belong with me. And now we don’t ever have to part. We live very long. You don’t have to worry about dying. And you don’t have to worry about the water anymore either. You are strong enough to go where you please. I could show you so many things. You don't need to deny yourself any longer. Let go, embrace me.”

He echoed the words you said to him, when you told him about your shared history. How you yearned to embrace your longing. How you wanted to be near the water. Had it simply been the sea that called out to you?

A fish curiously swam nearby, and you suddenly were reminded with the empty freezer, the frozen seafood he devoured…how you only seemed to like fish the most growing up. The bite he had given you. Your urge for the sea, even if you never dared to near it or touch it.

How Bucky had waited for you to show up and play with him, and how you had, unwillingly, broken that promise.

How he talked about owning your life because he had saved it, and how you could have a tail if only you did what he said.

Your tail was pretty, even if you thought his was better, but it wasn’t your legs and it felt strange seeing it swing back and forth, feeling like you could push upwards if you tried, wondering if you could keep up with him if you swam. Wondered how cold and dark the sea would get the further you would drift.

You looked backwards where you thought the beach would be, but, being underwater, all there was was water.

His finger turned your face towards him again. “I love you.”

You blinked, he put your hand on his heart, and the familiarity hit you like a warm glow, he had been telling you all along.

And he laid his hand on your heart, staring into your eyes intensely.

You felt the words leave your mouth without thinking about it. “And I love you.”

And you knew you did. Despite everything. You had been looking for him. You had been looking for love.

#Bucky Barnes x reader #Mermaid au #Merman!Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes x female reader #Fanfiction #Sebastian Stan fanfiction #mermay #Pulling Against The Stream #Bucky Barnes

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