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ashwhowrites · 23 days

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Older Eddie (like maybe 5-10 years) finds out you’re pregnant and he leaves because he said he wants to live a life without fear of dragging a kid down. He comes back before reader has the baby and wants to be involved and the reader struggles to let him be and you pick the ending!

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Runaway daddy

Eddie had the mentality of never growing up since he was a teenager. He didn't want to work until he died, a girlfriend was cool but marriage was too much of a commitment, and he did not want to be held down by a family.

His parents left him behind, and he was raised by Wayne. Wayne seemed fine never having his own kid and Eddie asked him about it. Wayne said it was easier to be alone and not suffer from the thought of being a horrible husband and father. Eddie understood that and he lived by it.

Then he made the mistake of falling in love. Her name was Y/N; she was younger, smart, and beautiful. She brought new emotions to Eddie's world and spun him all over the place. He tried to fight it at first, pushing her away and never letting her get close enough to change him. But she fought back and was determined that she could make him fall in love, and he did.

He was smitten by her. He worshipped the ground she walked on and felt safe in her embrace. She took care of him in a way he craved his whole life. She was the first person to make him feel loved. And that whenever she looked at him, he felt worthy to be standing in front of her.

Eddie should have known it would all come crashing down. Nothing good lasts forever and why would he be an exception? He was lucky enough to be loved by her for the past three years, he wasn't going to be lucky for the rest of his life.

It all crashed on top of him when he found the test in the trash. It was buried, clearly meant to stay hidden. It wasn't like he tried to find it, he was taking out the trash and dumped it. The test landed facing up and he felt everything in his body freeze, his heart, his blood, hell even his soul. He broke out into a nervous sweat and closed the trash bin.

He went back inside, quickly racing to the bathroom again with the trash in his hand. He went over to the sink and splashed cold water on his face, but nothing settled the anxiety he felt in his stomach. He prayed it was a false positive and that's why she hadn't mentioned it. He hoped there would be some type of miracle.

~~~

A week passed and he barely got any sleep. He held her in his arms as she slept peacefully, but his stomach turned as he thought about a baby growing in hers. He didn't want a baby, he couldn't be a father. How did it even happen? He did everything in his power to have safe sex just so this wouldn't happen.

He sighed as he got home from work, he swore he was losing hair from all the stress.

"Hey baby, dinner is about finished," she greeted as he walked into the kitchen. Eddie looked around the kitchen, the table was set with candles and flowers. It was a romantic sight, but he feared what it meant.

He was silent as he sat down at the table, smiling as she placed a plate in front of him. He felt like he could puke at any second but he tried his best to pick at his food.

"So, I have some news for you," she said, her smile was so big. She looked so damn happy and excited, she wanted this. "I took a test a week ago but I wanted to confirm before I said anything. But I went to the doctor today and I'm pregnant!" She beamed as the words left her lips. A bright light in her eyes that he had never seen before. Her hands landed on his as she waited for his response.

He gulped as he felt the need to puke but choked it down. He slipped his hand out from hers, and her face fell slightly. But she recovered quick and placed her hands on his again.

"It's okay to be scared, we'll be scared together,"

"I don't know how to say this gently, but I don't want a baby," he admitted

He felt horrible as he watched her face fall and tears immediately filled her eyes.

"What?" she whispered, her voice cracking. This time she removed her hands from his.

"I'm not ready! I mean we aren't even married!" Eddie panicked, standing up from his chair

"Who's fault is that? It's been three years, Eddie! I would marry you in a second, baby or not" Y/N replied, keeping her calm as he paced around the room.

"We are not having this baby" Eddie scoffed, shaking his head as he placed his hands on the chair, leaning over it.

"Excuse me?"

"I can't be a dad, Y/N. I know I can't and I don't want to be. I love you more than anything, I'm sorry but I'm not doing this" Eddie explained, his eyes apologetic as she sniffled.

"Doing this? You're sorry that you refuse to have a family with me?" Y/N snapped, standing up.

"It's nothing personal! I don't want a baby with anybody" Eddie defended, she came toe to toe with him.

"So where does that leave us? Because I'm having this baby" She declared through clenched teeth

"Then I'm leaving" Eddie threatened. He didn't want to break up or leave her. But he didn't want to have a kid, someone he could disappoint and ruin, someone he would drag down.

Eddie watched as anger filled her eyes, a slight light of hatred that made his body quiver. Maybe he should have been honest that he was scared. And maybe he should have given himself a chance before immediately turning to walk away.

"Well, I guess it is a good thing we aren't married, because once you walk out that door, fucking leaving me and your baby behind just like your scum of a father, you have no reason to ever show your face again. Now get the hell out!" She yelled, tears flying down her face as she raced to the bathroom.

Eddie sighed as he heard the door slam and the echo of her sobs bouncing off the walls. He stood there for a few minutes, trying to think if walking away was what he wanted. There still might be something left to save, all he had to do was knock on the bathroom door.

He took a deep breath and began walking down the hallway. He stopped once he hit the bathroom, his hand softly touched the doorknob. Then a static of electricity burned his fingers, he hissed as he pulled back.

He was a coward so he took it as a sign. He passed by the door and into the bedroom, packing up his part of her life.

~~~

The first few weeks without Eddie were more painful than Y/N imagined. There were so many moments she wished he was there. When she got morning sickness, she wanted him to rub her back and tell her it was okay. But the cold floor of the bathroom reminded her she was on her own.

Her bed was empty, but his body was still formed on the sheets. This was supposed to be their home, this was where she wanted their kids to grow up. In a way, she got what she wanted but she didn't think she'd lose him because of it.

She wanted to blame herself. They had been together for years and it was her mistake to never ask questions about marriage and children. If she was smarter then she wouldn't have been so torn apart now.

The more she was alone, the stronger she became. Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months. Eddie was still long gone and she had no idea where he ran to, half of her cared and wanted to call. But she already hurt herself enough and didn't want to beg a man to come back to her. And she didn't want to use her baby as a reason.

She did everything she could to be prepared. She read books and took classes. Her anxiety and fear started to wash away, excitement took over and she found herself finally being happy.

Eddie couldn't say the same. He heard in movies and books that the whole world changes once love is taken away. He couldn't believe that was right. But he did because he was alone in Wayne's trailer hating himself as each minute passed.

He chose this, he knew. He put himself in hell because he was afraid of something new. He was scared of that commitment to her and to the baby. It killed him to know he was just like his father. He spent years hating that man, wondering how a child could be so terrifying that running was the only option. He wondered why he couldn't just stay and learn a family is nothing to be scared about. He knew his father wouldn't have the answers because Eddie had none.

It was selfish, point blank. Instead of taking responsibility, he left her to deal with it all alone. He thought of calling, begging for forgiveness, begging for her. But he wasn't sure if that's what she wanted. She seemed to hate him when he left, and he didn't blame her. He didn't want to cause her more hurt by showing back up at her door. He wished he knew what she wanted.

Once a month passed, Eddie couldn't keep running away. He missed her and he hated being without her. He talked himself up as he reached for the phone.

He dialed the familiar number and listened as it rang.

"Hello?"

Eddie felt nervous once he heard her voice

"Hey, it's Eddie. Can we talk?" He asked if she said no, he'd move on. But he wanted at least one last fighting chance.

"About what, Eddie?" He could tell by her voice she was irritated

"Can I come over?" said

Eddie nervously knocked on the door, offering a small smile once she came into view. She stepped aside and let him walk in.

They sat in silence on the couch for a few moments before he got the nerve to speak.

"I want to start with that I am so sorry," he turned his body to face hers but she looked down at her lap. "I'm sorry for the fight, the words I said, the pain I caused, and for leaving."

"Did it solve anything?" she asked, looking towards him. "Did leaving and running away take away the fear and responsibility? Did you get to relax this last month because you knew your part was over?" Her voice got more snappish as she spoke.

"It solved nothing, and I will admit that. I felt horrible for just leaving and feel even worse knowing I was prepared to do exactly what my dad did. I don't want to be him and I don't want to be alone like Waybe. Baby," he said softly, his warm hand holding hers, "I love you, and being with you has taught me that even when I'm scared, you are with me. I won't be alone, I'll have you. I know I made a mess of everything and ruined something so special. I hate that I took that excitement away. But I want to do this, I want to be a dad to our baby."

Y/N bit her lip as she thought. She wasn't sure she wanted Eddie to be involved with her, but their baby was a different story. Their baby deserved to have them both. She slipped her hand out of his and held it herself.

"I'll give you another chance to be a dad. But I'm not ready to give you another chance at being my boyfriend. This month away was hard, and I needed you here. I want to be with someone who would be there no matter what, and I don't think that is you." she explained.

"You don't want to get back together?" Eddie choked out, he could feel his eyes tearing up.

"As of right now, no Eddie."

"I understand," and he did. It sucked and upset him, but he was the reason.

"But we will co-parent and our baby is our only focus right now," Y/N said

"I can do that," he said, "We're going to have a baby!" he cheered, a real smile on his face.

He was scared, but he knew it would be okay.

"I'm scared too, but we got this," she said wrapping her arms around Eddie into a hug. He hugged her back and melted in the comfort of her arms.

The baby was the main focus now, but getting her back was right behind.

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lowkeyremi · 5 months

Text

Choso who went into battle not knowing if he'd ever see you again. You knew this as well as he did, but he didn't want you to worry so he tried to comfort your mind.

"When I get back you gotta make me one of those cakes with the strawberries in it. I'll be thinking about it the whole time." He's hugging you, your head resting on his chest, tears from your leaky eyes stain his shirt.

"Don't go." Is all you can say. For some reason your heart is telling you that this is the last time you'll ever see your husband. This isn't just an assumption either, it's a very, very strong feeling inside of you.

"Baby. You know I have to.." His cold hands rub up and down your back, the coldness reminds of you of death.

"But.. what if this is our last time together?" He freezes completely, even his breath stops for a few seconds.

"I promise you, honey, this will not be our last time together." Choso leans down to meet your lips in a kiss, this kiss held so much slow, raw emotion. His hands caressed the back of your head and you felt more tears roll down your face.

"Choso! We gotta get goin'!" Yuki says tapping her foot impatiently. You have nothing against Yuki, but at that moment so much hate builds up inside of you- she's trying to take him away from you. She's trying to bring him closer to death.

"Choso please..." It's desperate and whiny, your voice cracks upon the last syllable. He gives you one last tight squeeze before muttering a, "I'll see you later baby."

The worst part about the departure is he doesn't look back, but you don't blame him. If he had looked back at your weepy eyes, he probably would have stayed instead of fighting for Japan.

Over the months of his absence you grow bitter, hateful, and quiet. Rarely do you talk anymore so when you hear your own voice it sounds foreign. Even your closest friends can't bring you out of the house without you bursting into tears, because the same door you walk out of is the same door he left out of.

"[name] you have to get out of here, you're going to spiral sooner or later," Your best friend mutters for the nth time.

"I'M NOT LEAVING! THIS IS ALL I HAVE LEFT!" You scream out. Regret instantly washes over you. "I'm-"

"I know you're hurting, don't worry about it." They say in a calming manner.

"I just- it's been two weeks since he's called me. Two. Weeks." Your best friend joins you on your couch, the same couch you and your husband have had many movie nights on.

"I know you're worried, [name]. About him, about your future, about everything... and I'm not going to tell you to be optimistic about the whole thing because it's 50/50 but I do want you to stay strong. It's what your husband would want, right?" They're right, if Choso were here he would tell you to push through and stay strong like you always do.

"Okay- fuck- alright. I'll go put some different clothes, let's get out of here. I haven't left in a long time."

The call came a month later. It was Yaga, he didn't sugar coat it, not that you wanted him to anyway.

"I'm sorry for your loss." It hurts when you hear those words being said to you over the phone. Your ears get a fuzzy feeling your vision blurs, and you start to hyperventilate.

"[name]? [name] are you there?" Everything went dark after that.

Trying to cope was the worst part of it all. Yaga had called you a couple of weeks later saying his body was so mutilated that they couldn't bring it back to bury him properly.

Now, you truly have nothing left, well, technically you have all the things he's given to you over the years, but you don't have him.

You went to therapy, you went to stay with your family, none of it worked. All you could think about was the last time he held you, his body was warm but his hands were cold to the touch.

As much as it hurts, your therapist has suggested moving out of your house because your pain is still raw and being in the house will bring up painful memories. Of course you refuse, why is everyone trying to take away what you have left of your husband?

In your bed was a picture of Choso, one you'd always keep with you when you missed him horribly. As you lie down for the night, you hug the picture tightly while tears silently fall from your eyes. At this point you don't even make sound anymore when you cry, it's just tears.

Ultimately, Yuji was the one to help you start your healing process. When everything had faded he came back, in rough shape might you add, but at least he was back. Instead of going to see all his friends when he returns, he goes to see you.

When he knocks on your door you assume it's your friends or a family member coming to get you out of the house. Seeing Yuji at your front door was very unexpected on your part. Before you can even get a sentence out he's squeezing you in a bone crushing hug.

"Choso told me to give you a hug for him. It was the last thing he asked for." His softly spoken words meet your ears. Almost immediately you squeezed Yuji tighter, "Thank you ,Yuji..."

"I know that you've known him longer than I have but.." he pauses, "his death hurt me just as much, and shit- I'm not gonna lie and say everything will be okay or everything will go back to normal, but I will say that he wants us to continue on even when it's rough."

Yuji's words sink into your brain and your first thought is selfish 'he wouldn't want me to keep going without him'. After a few seconds of rethinking you agree with Yuji, Choso was a fighter and he pressed on for what he believed, and yes, he would want you and his brother to do the same.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk 259 #jjk spoilers #kinda???#jujutsu kaisen x reader #choso #choso kamo #choso angst #choso kamo angst #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk x reader #jjk x reader angst #choso kamo x reader #choso x reader #choso drabbles

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kadwrites · 1 year

Text

an introduction | T.S

previous part | next part

or check out the series masterlist

summary ; you meet your husband to be for the first time.

warnings ; angst, dysfunctional family ig? , arranged marriage trope. bad writing?

a/n ; is it good? is it bad? is it too long? who knows. thank you for the support <3 please let me know what you think!

you hadn't left your room for the past three days. celest would be there , feeding you, holding you as you cried.

tonight though, you couldn't sleep because the sounds of your siblings yelling is keeping you away from the slumber you very much needed.

"you did what?"

oliver's brows furrow, his very pregnant wife , renee , sits beside him, her eyes open wide and a hand on her belly.

his mother tries to act like she didn't feel the guilt clawing at her heart , she sips her tea, "it's about time she got a husband."

"mum , what were you thinking? what has gotten into you?" his voice isn't loud, it isn't his usual roar, which is what concerned his wife. she puts a hand on his shoulder "you're forcing 'er to marry thomas shelby? are you fucking insane? have you lost your bloody mind?"

"im not forcing her to do anything, she agreed."

"after ya slapped 'er."

celest lets out a chocked sob at the mention of that

his mother's eyes are stern when they look up at him, resenting the fact that he brought it up

"she's a wild girl, she raised her voice at me"

"what did you expect 'er to do?" he got up, and his wife desperately tries to calm him down "lay on 'er back and open 'er legs?"

"to obey her mother."

"the mother that treated 'er own daughter like a piece of meat?" his jaw clenched, his hands shake "how could you do that? you didn't even tell us anything."

abraham is pacing around. his girlfriend ,anna stands in the doorway, watching this unfold. what else was she supposed to do?, its not like she can do anything. celest is sitting on a chair, her face buried in her hands as she cries. their father wasn't at home, he was out visiting his brother.

he's been avoiding this very incident like the plaque.

"when did this even 'appen?" abraham walks and stands next to oliver, both of them staring at their mother, his voice trembles as he tries to hold back whatever he had to say.

"why does it matter?" their mother slams the teacup on the table "it's already happened. what good is it going to do if we keep talking about it?"

"how long 'ave you been plottin' at this?" oliver's voice gets louder, his wife tries to get up but cant, abraham grabs his shoulder instead. "are you that desperate for money?"

"i did it-"

"for 'er ? securing 'er a future, yeah? is that what you tell yourself?" celest finally speaks, her face glistening with tears as she stands up

celest was always her mother's daughter. being the eldest, she always aimed to please her but when this happened, she couldn't even stand to look at her mother. she knew their mother was looking for a suitor ,she tried to reason with her, telling her how her younger sister would never agree, that she'll just yell and maybe even try to run away. celest never knew that the suitor her mother had in mind was thomas shelby, she never knew that he'd already agreed to all of this.

their mother's eyes move to celest, renee and anna share a look , and anna stands with her mouth covered. "this is not going to end well." ,they both think.

"what?"

"i said is that what you think you're doing? that you're doing whats best for 'er?" celest repeats "when you and i and everyone in this room knows who thomas shelby is, we know what he does, we know how he lives"

"he will take care of her." she raises her voice as well

"mother...." abraham warns, with his eyes closed. he knows the words she will say next would just anger everyone further

"i dont want her to end up like you! with a man that has you living in a piss poor excuse of a house, running after his spawn." her mother spits those words out like venom.

"i love 'im, i chose 'im, and i never ever regretted that decision, i never once complained,i never doubted his love or loyalty" celest walks closer "i will live a good life with a man who is good to me, an honest man. would she say the same about the husband you chose for 'er?"

"she will love him! she will grow to love him" she yells those words, as if she desperately wants them to be true.

celest lets out a chuckle , looking at her mother as if she was insane "do you not hear yourself? do you not hear how you sound?" then she moves even closer,"you're ruining 'er life!" celest cried, her screams sound through the whole house, abraham is now holding her back, as she squirms and thrashes "is this what you fucking want ? for your own child to live a miserable life?"

oliver left the living room at some point and he was inside your room now, somehow.

he crouched at the side of the bed, where you're laying on your stomach, cheek against the pillow and covers tucked up to your neck.

"i..." he tries to speak, he lets out a breath "i didn't know" he felt guilty for some reason, as if he could've stopped this.

"i know"

"you don't 'ave to say yes" he puts a hand on your head smoothing down your hair. oliver was never the one for affection, always awkward with it. "you don't. you can say no"

"i cant" you whisper back to him, your eyes look at him and they are once again filled with tears, your lips quiver

"yes you can"

"no i can't" you let out a sob "and you know that."

he just looks back at you, keeps on smoothing down your hair

"its not your responsibility to save them."

"it is now"

and he knew he couldn't change your mind, "she says he's comin' by tomorrow ,to see you."

silence ensues. you two just stare at each-other not knowing what to say

for the first time in his life, oliver the man with the biggest mouth, the loudest voice, the one who always fought you over that one spot on the table, doesn't know what to say. he has nothing to say.

he slowly gets up, and leaves the room, closing the door behind him gently.

and when that dreaded morning comes, you find yourself on your vanity chair, looking at your reflection in the mirror, your face still almost emotionless

celest stands behind you, brushing your hair,she's crying silently, and you just stare at the mirror

you knew that those steps belonged to your mother, you'd memorized how they sounded when you were a child , when you pretended to be asleep so she wouldn't know you'd stayed awake past your bedtime. she walks and stands next to celest, you don't look at her, you just stare at yourself.

celest puts the brush on the table and she walks away, she walks to the window, trying to calm down. your mother picks up the brush.

"i know you think im cruel, and that i'm selfish. but i did it for your sake." she speaks

this is the first time you'd even seen her since it all happened

your eyes dart up to her, she doesn't look at you, she just looks down at your hair as she brushes it.

"when your father got sick, i never thought we'd lose the farm too, we lost the very thing that gave us most of our money." she pauses for a second "i know this isnt how you wanted to get married, it was not an easy decision for me either"

"i don't love 'im" your voice is soft, its not angry

"love isn't everything, you don't need it to be content" she continues "i didn't love your father when i married him , but love follows"

"he is nothing like my dad"

your mother stops again "he's a hardworking man, he was in the war , wasn't he? just like yer father."

"my father was a farmer," she muttered "that's what you loved about 'im, what you've come to love. that he is a good man but the man you're marrying me off to isn't"

you sound like celest.

your words cut deeper than you thought they would, your mothers eyes close, she sighs "you're my youngest child and i want you to live a good life when me and your father are no longer here .a safe life. i dont want you to need a roof over your head or worry about money or food"

you don't want to argue , so you don't. you just let her brush your hair and neatly style it. she brings a box and opens it, inside it a golden necklace with a ruby as a pendant, she puts it on you, she smiles at your reflection

"i wore it when i married your father", maybe it will bless your marriage too, your mother thinks to herself.

you don't say anything, you just do what you're told. you were too tired to fight this anyways. you just wanted this day to pass

and then you hear it, your brother's voice as he greets him, despite his anger your oliver sounds polite. their voices are muffled but you hear them.

you mother walks you down the stairs and when you descend you see him, on the green sofa , talking to your father and your brothers and as if he could sense your presence his eyes dart up the stairs and he sees you.

you feel as if the whole house ran out of air, and as if your lung collapsed. you look back at him nonetheless as you walk down the stairs.

it feels as if their voices are distant as your family greets him, very welcoming and warm they sound but you can't process a word. you just look at him. you think you mumbled a greeting too, you're not sure.

he got up when you entered the living room, he looks you up and down but only for an instant and then his eyes go back to yours. you cannot see any emotion on his face.

you sister stands at your side, renee on the other, they sit with you between them on the couch facing him, the rest of your family scattered around the room but you didn't look at them, too busy looking at the man you'll marry. it's almost as if you can visibly see the blood on his hands.

but when he speaks , you snap back into reality out of your trance

"its a pleasure to finally meet you."

his voice is deep, calm and collected. for some reason it sends a chill down your spine

"the pleasure is mine" you say back, as politely as you could.

slowly, person by person, your family leaves the room

you glance at the window, your brothers and father are outside smoking, pretending to not watch. celest, renee and anna are under the foyer.

your mother and mrs gray are in the kitchen, having tea, when did she come in here?, you didn't even notice her.

you lean back against the sofa, you stare at him just like he stares at you

"mind if i smoke?" he already has his cigarette between his lips , he pulls out his lighter

"no" you say curtly , you sit on the sofa in the most expensive dress you own, your newest heels,

he offers you a cigarette, you eye it. you hadn't smoked since your parents caught you smoking on the roof but they've disappointed you, so what if you disappoint them one more time

you pull a cigarette out, he passes you the light and you light it, then putting it out

he leans back as well, crossing his legs

"are you good with children? can you care for them?"

you nod, your cigarette hangs between your fingers"i 'ave one nephew and 4 nieces, one on the way too"

"i 'ave a boy"

his eyes give nothing away no matter how long you stared at him , looking for a crack in the mask

"what's his name?" you ask softly

"charles"

"how old is he?"

"four, he's turning five soon"

"is that why you're looking for a wife? to look after your son?"

"thats a part of it, yes" he exhales the smoke, he throws an arm around the back of the sofa

"what's the other part?"

"i need a wife and i want someone i can trust around my boy when im not around"

you nod , your eyes look away for the first time.

"do you feel like you can do that?"

you turn back to look at him

"i believe so , yes"

he nods, "are you being forced into this?" he's blunt. it doesn't take a genius to know that you're not happy, that you're reluctant.

"no, i'm not"

"i don't want to marry you if you're unwilling"

"i said i'm not ,didn't i?" you tried to hold back your tongue, but you couldn't

his brow raises at this ,"you don't exactly look like you're content with your decision"

"is this an interrogation?" you ask, stubbing the cigarette on the ashtray that sits on the table. partly because the taste of it made you nauseous, having not had one in years. the other part annoyed and defensive

"i believe its called an introduction" a his face is still stoic, but his voice is betraying him, it's sounds as though he's amused.

you look up, you hate to admit it but you can't deny it. he looks handsome, in his expensive suit, his glasses, his cheek bones. celest was right, at least he is easy on the eyes

"an introduction, aye?"

"hmm"

you just look at eachother, you blink a couple of times, then lean back again.

"its my decision, mr shelby." you try to compose yourself, "it wasn't forced on me,"

he nods again,

"do you 'ave any conditions?"

"i do..." you lick your lips nervously "my father, he's sick"

"i will take care of his medical expenses" he nods before you could finish that sentence

"it would be nice if i could finish my own fucking sentences"

he lets out a dry chuckle, and you take it as a sign to continue

"he's never been properly checked , we don't know what exactly is wrong with 'im" you sigh "my only condition is that 'im and my mother would be looked after, financially and medically."

"they will be"

"i want it in writing" you hesitate but then say it anyways , you don't know if you can trust him, you don't care if you offend him.

he looks at you, his eye travel between yours "alright"

you let out a breath you didn't know you've been holding

@tardisloverz , @optimisticsandwichgladiator

#kadwrites #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfiction #tommy shelby fanfiction #thomas shelby fanfiction

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battymommastuff · 8 months

Text

Of Songbirds and Phoenix

al Ghul!Batmom x Gotham Knights (CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM GOTHAM KNIGHTS!)

Prompt: After the death of Bruce Wayne, his wife had vanished from the city, and only returns when she knows her children are in danger.

When Wayne Manor blew up and Bruce Wayne had been pronounced dead, one of the biggest questions was the outcome of his wife. Y/n Wayne was at the manor the night it blew up, but her body had never been recovered. The wonderful investigators at GCPD brushed it off under the excuse that your body had been completely blown up. A bullshit reason, but they were too lazy to do an in depth investigation. Your family however, worried that your body had been buried under the rubble in the now destroyed batcave.

Fortunately for them...everyone was wrong. Days leading up to your husband's death, he sent you away to investigate his latest case. The Court of Owls. A conspiracy theory that he believed to be true, and so he sent you overseas to investigate some other claims of this infamous cult. The conspiracy only detailed members from Gotham's wealthiest families, but he wanted to be thorough. Your investigation led you to your twin sister, Talia al Ghul. You figured out her plan at the same time that your children had, and you didn't hesitate on making your way back to Gotham.

Talia's plan to take over Gotham had been foiled, all while you watched from a distance. It was Bruce's wish. He wanted his family to be able to take care of Gotham should he perish, and wanted them to have the chance to thrive. You granted that wish by watching your children from the shadows. They were trained well because several times they turned in your direction or almost caught you.

Tonight, Bruce's wish wouldn't be met. You'd been stalking Robin since he left the Belfry. He was on a routine patrol. Take down the bad guys and protect the city. What he didn't notice were the several League of Shadow members tailing him. You noticed right away. They were using the same methods you were. Talia's doing no doubt. She wanted revenge, and would ambush your youngest son to get it.

Robin had just finished the takedown of some Freaks when several puffs of smoke appeared all around him. He wasn't a stranger to an ambush from the league, but this was more than he was used to. Luckily he wasn't alone. Using his bo staff and sling shot, he quickly darted around taking down members of the League. However, it seemed that the more they took the...the more that appeared.

"Get down, little bird!" A voice called out. Robin ducked down without hesitation and heard the sound of metal flying through the air then a scream of pain. Looking up, a shuriken was embedded in the chest of a league member. A female dropped down in front of Robin, wielding two beautiful katana's in her hands, "Talia?" He asked, in confusion. The figure turned towards him and he paled, "M-Mom?"

"What the hell did you just say?" The voice of Red Hood spoke through the comms. Robin couldn't answer, all he could do was watch as you skillfully took down the League of Shadows members. When the last member went down, you sheathed your blades and made your way over to Robin, "Little bird? Are you injured?" You asked while kneeling down in front of him. His mask didn't have the white lenses so you saw how watery his eyes were, "M-Mom?" He whispered in disbelief. He'd been mouring you as well as Bruce for weeks now. Knowing that he wouldn't relax until you proved that he wasn't dreaming, you wrapped your arms around him. Robin collapsed against your chest with loud sobs escaping his chest. That was the confirmation that the rest of the team needed. You were alive.

After calming down enough to drive, Robin drove you both back to the Belfry on the bike. He held your hand in a death grip from the moment you stepped off of the bike. Tim had been so torn up about losing his parental figures that he wasn't planning on letting you go anytime soon. The doors opened, and you hesitantly stepped in. There you saw what remained of your family.

Dick looked like he wanted to cry and pass out at the same time

Alfred was holding back his tears behind a relieved smile

Barbara had a few tears slipping from her eyes, but kept trying to wipe them away.

Jason was staring holes into the ground. He couldn't bring himself to look at you.

Dick was the first one to walk towards you, "You're really here?" He asked so softly, you almost didn't hear him. He gently touched your face, hair and shoulders. If anyone had been mouring you harder than Tim, it was Dick. You'd raised him since he was eight years old. He dug through piles of rubble with his bare hands looking for you, and here you were. Completely unharmed.

"I'm here, my songbird." Dick wrapped his arms around you, nearly crushing you against his chest. Tim let go of your hand to give you this moment with your oldest son. Dick was the leader of this team. Batman's chosen successor. The one who was supposed to be the strongest, and yet he fell apart once he hugged his mother. He didn't have to be the strongest with her. He could be that eight year old boy again. The one that ran to her whenever he had a nightmare. The one who would gush over him and mend all of his wounds from his time as Robin, "How are you here? We thought you died?" He asked, pulling away from you.

"Bruce sent me away to investigate the Court. They originate here in Gotham, but he heard rumors of other sightings in the middle east as well as the UK. He wanted this to be as covert as possible. That's why he told Tim I left for a business trip for Wayne Enterprises. If the world thought I was dead, then I could continue my investigation from the shadows." You were an al Ghul by blood. You were raised as a killer and taught to use the shadows to your advantage. Before his death, Bruce made you swear to never take another life while with him. Now that he was gone...you had no one to keep the vow to.

Alfred and Barbara joined Dick with several tear filled hugs and questions. Tim was glued to your side, only leaving to change out of his suit, "Why did you come back?" You turned away from Barbara to look over at Jason. His jaw was clenched, and his arms crossed over his chest, "You didn't bother to reach out after Bruce's death, so why bother now?" Everyone, but you had glares on their faces.

"My phoenix, I wanted to reach out. The moment I heard of Bruce's death, I wanted nothing more than to be right here with you all. I stayed away as a promise to Bruce. I'm glad I did. You all did so much more than what I could have. I'm so proud of you all. Especially you, Jason."

Watching this big brute of a man melt at the words from a woman much smaller than him was a funny sight. Jason visibly relaxed and you wrapped him up in a warm hug. He hugged you back tightly, and let out a shaky breath.

"I missed you, Mom. So much."

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!!!Author's Note!!

Sorry for going MIA for so long. I have been very busy, but I am hopefully going to be back in action soon. I've been working on a new series for this blog that I'm excited to present to you all! Enjoy this little imagine, and I hope to see you all very soon! <3 ~ Batty

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hispg · 1 year

Text

Just one more time

Pairings: Di! Leon x fem reader

Wc: 6.2k

Summary: Your ex husband want to have his family life again, he needs it.

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, mentions of alcoholism, exes to lovers(I guess).

Notes: this man have a choke hold on me, isn't even healthy anymore 😭😭

Today was another weekend like any other. Your youngest daughter was going to stay with her father, your ex-husband, Leon. He had already come to pick her up at your apartment and consequently took the little one to his house, as usual.

For now, you were getting ready cautiously, as you didn't have much free time, you decided that today you would go out with some friends, to relax and have fun, after all you needed it.

So you looked at yourself in the large bedroom mirror, admiring yourself in that tight red dress, which highlighted your curves in a gentle but incredibly sexy way. Your hair was tidy, loose, free in the wind, but with not a single strand out of place. Just as you took care of your make-up, you did it with all possible care, from eyeliner to lipstick, all the accessories you put on, which enhanced your beauty even more.

And there you were, admiring yourself in that mirror, turning around and around, it was just a hang out with your friends, of course, but it was the first time you'd given yourself a chance to go out since the end of your marriage to Leon, so it was an important night, to say the least.

Finally, you wore the cologne you always used, and the scent permeated the room and your clothes, sweet and warm, just like you.

One last look, and you were ready. Beautiful, stunning, as usual.

And then you heard a 'ding dong', at this point, you thought it was one of your friends, who had arrived earlier to pick you up? Maybe.

You leave your room and go to the door, but your expectation that it was one of your friends ends at the same moment that you hear a child's cry, which was all too familiar.

As soon as you open the door, you find Leon, staring at you a little blankly as he comforts the little girl, your daughter, who is crying inconsolably in his arms.

"Oh... I'm sorry... I know it was my weekend with her. But ever since I took her, she hasn't stopped crying. She wants to be with you." Leon says, his voice calm and low, as he rocks the little one gently, murmuring sweet words to calm her down.

"No problem, come in." You offer, and he accepts without a second thought.

You quickly closed the door and turned your attention to the little girl, who was sobbing in Leon's arms.

"Princess, do you want to come into Mommy's arms?" You ask the little girl gently while stroking her brown hair.

The little girl nodded eagerly, raising her little hands for you to take her from Leon's arms.

And so you did, cradling her in your arms, as if her life depended on it. Leon had a worried, even sad look on his face. He didn't need to say anything for you to understand that he felt bad that he hadn't managed to make things go back to the way they were before.

"I don't want to go with Daddy anymore." The little girl whispered, her sobs muffled by the fact that she was buried in your shoulders, crying harder than you expected.

The phrase made Leon's heart bleed, God, how bad it felt to hear it from his own daughter. The words came out slurred from the little girl's mouth, but deep down, that's how she really felt.

"My darling, you know that just as mommy loves you, Daddy loves you too, mh?" You tried to console the little girl by saying these beautiful words, which meant everything, because it was the purest truth.

Leon didn't need to say anything. You knew he was trying to hold back his tears at that moment. You didn't even need to look at him to know.

He hated to think that as well as losing you, he could lose his little girl. And he couldn't deal with that thought. It was too much for him.

He couldn't lose the two people he loved most in the world like that. No, it was too much for him to bear.

The little girl just replied with a simple 'mhm mhm', her sobs had subsided, and she seemed to be calmer now, even though she was still crying.

Leon sneaked up to her, gently stroking her little head, running his fingers through her hair, gently caressing her. He didn't dare speak. He just admired how calm the little girl was in her mother's arms, and he wondered if one day he could give her the same comfort. If he could be a safe haven for her, just as you were.

And he couldn't help but notice how much like you the little girl was, her face was exactly like yours, she had her father's blue eyes, she was beautiful like you, her dark hair was just like her father's. But still, Leon always saw that she was just like you. But even so, Leon always saw a little piece of you in her, and he thought that was one of the most beautiful things in his life.

He let himself hold her little hand and gently stroked it with his thumb. Although his gaze was fixed on the little one, from time to time, he looked at you.

"I want to sleep in your room, Mommy." The little girl whispered, her voice was shaky, but she seemed calmer.

"Of course, sweetheart." You said gently, smiling at her as you carried her in your arms.

Leon followed silently, following your every step all the way to your room, feeling a little more relieved that your daughter wasn't crying anymore, at least.

You reached your bedroom, where you gently laid the little one on the bed, wrapping her in the covers, making her very cozy.

You lay down next to her, propping yourself up with one of your elbows, your other hand stroking her hair. You signaled Leon to sit on the bed, which he did.

And there you were, comforting the little one until she fell asleep. And so it happened, ten or fifteen minutes later she fell asleep, and from the way she let out little snores from time to time, she wasn't going to wake up any time soon.

There was silence, nothing but the little one's breathing, along with the two of you.

A few minutes later, Leon clears his throat, plucking up the courage to speak.

"Can we talk?" He looks at you with those blue eyes that, behind their kindness, ooze genuine sadness.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" You ask softly, staring back at him.

He shook his head, running one hand through his hair, "No. Nothing's happened, I just want to talk to you. Can we?" You knew him too well, and you could tell for sure that although he wanted to appear confident, he was apprehensive.

"Sure, let's go to the kitchen. I can make us both some coffee." You give him a gentle smile, even though you already had some idea of where this conversation was going.

He nods, gets out of bed, and follows you into the kitchen. The walk was silent, nothing but your footsteps coming down the stairs, and consequently walking down the corridor to the kitchen.

Leon takes the liberty of sitting down at the table, smoothing his temple in an attempt to calm himself down a little.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" You ask nonchalantly, picking up the ingredients to make the coffee.

"Us. I want to talk about us." As expected of Leon, he didn't go round in circles. He said what he needed to, and that was that. And it would be no different now.

You look at him, not angrily, much less upset. But intrigued, did he still have feelings? Even after all these months?

You don't answer him. You just start preparing the coffee, and then he says it again, "I miss you. I still have feelings. I still love you." And he didn't expect you to answer him, let alone throw yourself into his embrace as if nothing had happened. He just wanted to open his heart to you.

He followed your figure with his gaze, admiring your silhouette in the kitchen, seeing how beautiful you were. How perfect you looked that night.

"That dress..." He murmured, looking you up and down once again.

You look at him with a little smile, looking at the dress too, "It was a present from you, you gave it to me for my birthday, remember?"

He nods with a slight smile, as if he has a pleasant memory about it.

"I remember you loved it when you saw it. You looked like a little child when you saw it in the vitrine." He says with amusement in his voice.

You can't help but giggle, "And when it was later that day, you arrived with the dress. I remember that night so well."

And he smiled, a genuine smile this time, "Me too, your joy is one of the most striking things in my memory."

You smiled back as you poured the coffee into the mugs, carefully carrying them to the table where he stood.

"Thanks." He murmurs, holding the mug in his hands.

You nodded, sitting down next to him and taking a sip of coffee.

And you stopped to notice him, his neat hair, the perfume he always wore. His shirt, along with his jacket and baggy pants. As always, he didn't stop being handsome for a single second.

Plus, you couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes and the slightly tired expression he had.

Your eyes wander to a small cut on his face, and you ask, "Another mission?"

He nods silently, taking another sip of his coffee.

"Do you think... we could try again?" He asks gently, but without looking at you.

You sigh, running your hands through your hair, before saying, "I don't know Leon... Things are complicated between us. Your work, your problems with alcohol. And it's just... complicated..."

He looks at you, those blue eyes that take your breath away every time that you could spend all day looking into.

"I know... I know I screwed everything up..." He admits between sighs.

You put your hand over his in a gesture of affection.

His eyes lit up, and he smiled.

"You know... I've been trying to change... I'm slowly cutting down on alcohol. Really... besides, I've been taking a break from work." And he seemed sincere. You had no reason to doubt him.

"That's good. That's great for you." A real smile appeared on your face, even though you had heard this phrase a few times before.

"I feel lonely without you." He finally says, sensitive words coming out in a whisper.

And in fact, it wasn't a lie. It was a reality. He said it from the bottom of his soul, from the bottom of his heart. You were his rock, the person he could share all the secrets, all the missions, all the shit that happened in his life. A confidant, who he could tell everything, and he wouldn't be judged. On the contrary, you would welcome him into your embrace, caressing him and advising him. Doing your best to make him feel safe, secure, so that finally, if only for a brief moment, he could just be Leon.

Without having to be the cool, cold, strategizing agent, no, with you, he was just Leon, and he just loved that.

He could be himself. He felt like that young man before things happened in Raccoon City, a normal man, with the woman he loved and the fruit of their love, a beautiful little girl.

With you, he felt free, to cry, to smile, to complain. For everything, he didn't have to fear, because you were a joy to him, you were what kept him sane every time he came home from those damn missions, every time he woke up in the morning, he couldn't wait to see your face beside him. Just to see you, sleeping like an angel next to him.

And you knew all this. You knew how lonely he felt, how closed off he could become. But you always found a way, a way for him to open up to you and trust you even more.

"I know... I know..." Was the only thing you could say because you also felt bad about the situation. How could you not? You had been hurt just as much as he had in this relationship.

"I know I made a mistake, I know. And I blame myself every day for it, but I wanted a chance. We can try, we can be a family again." This time, he intertwined his fingers with yours, holding your hand tightly.

You find yourself staring at the now empty coffee mug. The gentle rain was falling outside, and from time to time, you could hear the drops falling on the window.

For some reason, this comfortable climate reminded you of when the two of you would lie on the sofa and watch a movie cuddling. As if nothing else mattered. And you missed it so much now.

You face him, plucking up the courage to say, "What if it's all the same? What if our relationship ends the same way?"

They were fair questions. After all, despite being a man of his word, Leon might not keep his word. At the end of the day, he was a human being like any other, and he could make mistakes just the same.

He was quick to squeeze your hand and gently planted a kiss on your palm, "I swear, I promise you it will be different. I've changed, I'm trying my best to be a good father to our daughter. Just as if you let me, I want to be a better husband."

And that was enough to make your heart skip beats. You wanted to throw yourself into his arms, hug him, kiss him madly, as if nothing else mattered.

But your mind said no, but your heart screamed and cried out for him. How could you ignore him? He was the man you loved, right there, willing to try again.

"Leon... I don't know... it's not that I don't trust you, I just... get apprehensive, you know?" And you were being honest, but you still didn't have the courage to face him. And once again, you find yourself staring at the empty mug, looking for any other distraction.

"I know, I'm not asking you to forgive me now. You can take as long as you like, but all I'm asking is that you think. I want another chance, just this once." His voice was clear, full of affection.

And again, your body betrays you. You surrender to his words, an almost indiscreet smile appears on your face, God, you wanted him so much. Just as he wanted you.

There's no explanation, you're made for each other, you're soul mates, there's no other reason.

Those blue eyes, scanning you, looking for any sign, any little sign.

And as a way of trying to lighten the mood, you took your mug and his and washed them.

And for a moment, his eyes grew sad. He didn't want to let go of your hand, let alone have you move away from him.

He sighed audibly, leaning back a little more in his chair. His eyes didn't stop following you for a single minute.

A few minutes after washing the mugs, you lean against the sink, cross your arms, and look at Leon with a discreet smile. You're trying to find the right words to say to him.

"You can..." You stop talking mid-sentence, your eyes roaming around the kitchen nervously.

And that was more than enough to catch his attention, who approached you, standing in front of you.

"What? Do you want to tell me something?" Leon asks, with a clear tone of curiosity in his voice.

You smiled a little shyly, feeling like a silly young girl at the moment, "Can you sleep here?"

And that seemed to take him by surprise, but not in a bad way. It didn't take long for a broad smile to appear on his face, as if you had just given him news that would brighten his night, and indeed it would.

"Sure, sure, whatever you say." He gently takes both your hands, caresses them, and plants a kiss on each.

You giggled, letting yourself be carried away by the moment. Meanwhile, the rain was getting worse outside, and the weather was getting a little worse outside, but that only made it more comfortable inside your house.

"So... shall I take you to your room? It's getting late." Leon tells you, but you both know it's just another excuse for you to cuddle and spend at least one night together.

"Yes... we can go there." You take his hand, gently guiding him to your room.

However, he stops you, soon carrying you in his arms. Carrying you in a bridal style.

"Leon... you don't have to..." You whispered, but it was clear that you loved being cuddled like this in his arms.

"I want to, please. I want to feel you in my arms." And he gave you a light kiss on the forehead, snuggling you even closer into his arms.

And you never ceased to be impressed by him, the way he carried you so easily, even when you were pregnant, he carried you as if you were just a feather.

And to be honest, he loved it, loved how lovely you felt in his arms, how safe he made you feel.

After a while, you both arrive in the bedroom, only to see your daughter sleeping peacefully in your bed. She looked like a little angel.

"I'm taking her to her room." Leon whispers to you as he gently sets you down.

And soon he too carried the little girl up to her room, not taking long to return. And as soon as he walked back into your room and saw your figure sitting on the bed, looking at him with that adorable smile, he couldn't help but let a sly grin escape.

In the blink of an eye, there he was, embracing you as he gently laid you down on the bed, holding you tightly in his arms.

"You have no idea how much I miss you..." A muffled voice comes from Leon's lips as he rests his head on your chest.

And you start playing with his hair, stroking it from time to time.

"I know... I miss you too, Lee..." And his heart fluttered when you called him that, the nickname you gave him yourself, and he loved it every time you called him that.

He squeezed you tighter, grabbing your waist and pulling you to him. Not in a rough way, but strong enough to hold you in place. And on that cold night, you felt that your bed was warm, and more than that, it was cozy, inviting. And that's just because Leon was there, that's all. He had that effect, that effect on you, if the two of you were together, even the worst of situations became tolerable.

"You don't know how self-controlled I am. All I want to do is kiss you, you're stunning tonight." And you could feel his fingers moving gently on your hips, making little circles.

You giggled again, "I think I can imagine."

He smiled along with you, starting to kiss and nibble your neck affectionately, without rushing, just doing it passionately.

You let out a heavy breath, clinging tighter to him. At this point, your heart was pounding. You felt like a teenager again, feeling silly and youthful.

And in an even gentle way, he began to caress your thighs, giving them light squeezes.

While he was still kissing and nibbling on your neck, which gradually became more intense.

"That's good, Lee..." You let out a slight gasp, which was basically music to his ears.

"I know, babe. I know." His teeth drag across your skin, a sensation that could easily give you goosebumps.

His hand went under your dress, giving him the opportunity to caress your bare skin, which made him even more aroused.

And you let a soft moan escape from your lips, as soon as you felt his warm hands touch your thighs. And you realized how much you missed him, how much you missed his touch and his love, and of course, so did he.

And slowly, he began to move upwards with his mouth, going all over your neck until he reached your jaw, leaving a trail of kisses. Soon, he was on your cheeks, and finally, pressing a hot, passionate kiss to your lips.

The way you two kissed, while romantic, could be considered thirsty because you wasted no time in sliding your tongues into each other's mouths, deepening the kiss quickly. As if the two of you couldn't wait another second.

"Fuck... I've missed you so much." He says in a husky voice, his thumb rubbing your lower lip affectionately.

And frankly, the way you looked at him, the way your lips were parted and you were gasping for breath, was enough to fill his body with lust.

And once again he captures your lips in a sensual kiss, now beginning to squeeze the soft flesh of your ass, pushing you even harder against him.

"Leon..." You moan into his lips, letting him squeeze and caress your body however he wants.

He gives you a little smile, biting your bottom lip in response.

"I'll make it worth your while, don't worry." He whispers, now he's playing with the flaps of your panties, gently caressing your soft skin.

And you took the liberty of sliding your hands under his shirt, feeling his strong, chiseled chest. Your fingers explored every corner, as if for the first time, and you could bet he was enjoying it, the way he let out sweet whispers against your lips.

And he broke away from you for a moment, only to remove his shirt and jacket, making you salivate at the privileged view of his chest.

"You know I love it when you look at me like that, don't you?" He teases, as he watches you bite your lower lip.

You sit on the bed, leaning on his waist as you kiss and lick his chest, just the way he loved it.

And you can see the lust shining in his eyes, a fervor that wouldn't cease any time soon. He put one hand in your hair, smoothing it while saying sweet words of encouragement, because more than anything he wanted you to continue.

And slowly you reached for his belt, and you could already see the bulge forming in his pants, and you used your fingers to caress the spot, eliciting a soft grunt from him.

And there you were again, giving him soft, gentle kisses over the bulge in his pants, just as a way of teasing him even more, and he seemed to be enjoying it, as his hips trembled from time to time.

And when you finally removed his belt and unbuttoned his pants, leaving him with just his boxers. He took a deep breath, in a way to contain himself, to regain his composure.

"No... no, darling." With a slight push, he lifts your face, making you look at him, you had a confused expression, then asked, "Don't you want to?"

He smiles and nods, "I want it more than anything, but tonight, tonight I'm going to pamper you. I'm going to pamper you from head to toe."

And with that he lays you back on the bed, standing over you and whispering sweet words, "Tonight I'm going to make my redemption. For making you feel alone in this marriage," he begins to kiss your cheeks, pressing your body against him.

"Tonight I'm going to show you how loved and adored you are by me, understand? I'm going to do what I should have done at our marriage."

And with that, he kissed your entire face, your cheeks, forehead, lips, nose, every corner of your face.

His hands danced all over your body, caressing and squeezing, massaging every tense spot on your body. He wanted you to be completely relaxed because he was going to take care of you tonight.

You just nodded, letting yourself be carried away by him, letting him take complete control of the situation because at the end of the day, you didn't give a damn. You needed it as much as he did.

He pulled your dress up to your waist, and you felt the cold air hit your bare skin, but it soon passed when you felt his big, warm hands on your thighs. Massaging each spot, kissing and nibbling lightly, and drawing moans from your lips.

"God... you're going to ruin me like this," You teased, looking at him with a playful smile.

But his naughty grin was the perfect response, "That's my intention, baby."

And a lovely sound falls from your mouth as his fingers barely touch your wet surface, and you can feel your soaked panties.

He kissed and nibbled your inner thighs, dragging his tongue there from time to time, keeping one hand on your hips, to steady you, and the other stroking your core over the cheap fabric of your panties.

Involuntarily, your hips began to move against his hand, desperately seeking more friction.

"My pretty girl, are you that wet? Just for a few touches, mh?" He teases, sliding your panties aside with one of his fingers, threatening to put it inside, the tip of his finger caressing your entrance.

"Mhmm..." You whimpered, looking at him with a sly face, almost begging him to continue.

And he giggled, sliding your panties down between your legs, taking them off and throwing them in a corner of the room.

And there was that vision of paradise in his eyes, your pussy wet, dripping, all because of him.

He just laughed again, shaking his head, "You know damn well I can't resist you." And without giving you a choice, he buried his head between your legs, holding you firmly by the hips, preventing you from squirming.

"Leon.. God." You moaned shyly, feeling him give you sloppy kisses all over your intimate area, sliding his tongue around the spot, making you even more excited.

"My baby is always so wet for me, always ready for me. You're a naughty girl, but I can't complain." He smiles, sliding his tongue into your center, almost starting to enter your entrance.

You gasp, your body arching at the delicious sensation of his hot muscle working on your needy cunt.

With his thumb he stroked your clit, making circular movements, calm and firm, he knew exactly where to touch you.

"Fuck... Leon..." You whined, putting one of your hands on his head, pushing him towards you.

He grunted, but didn't complain. On the contrary, he grabbed onto your legs and started fucking you with his tongue, without the slightest mercy.

"Holy shit, oh... oh..." You moaned audibly, thrusting your hips against his lips looking for more contact, as if that were possible.

You felt so close, head empty and heavy, body hot and bothered. You were close, but so close. And he didn't help either, he ate you like a caged animal that hadn't had a meal in months.

"Cum on my tongue, go on. Do it for me," and once again he planted lazy kisses on your intimate area, licking and kissing, not stopping to caress your clit for a second.

And to finish, he pinched lightly on your clit, dragging his tongue all over your pussy, which was enough for you to moan his name out loud, pushing him against you even more. Your thighs pressed against his head, and he loved it.

He loved it when you held him like this, giving him the opportunity to continue kissing you after orgasm.

"Oh...oh... God." You whispered, your lips parted as you breathed heavily, your body trembling and sweaty. The sensation was too good, impossible to regain consciousness that quickly.

"Good girl, you taste fucking good, you know that, don't you?" Leon says, licking his lips and wiping his fingers, licking slowly to feel the sweetness he loved so much.

You smile at him, still catching your breath from the intense orgasm. And before he did anything else, he finished taking off your dress, taking off your bra with it.

And now you were completely exposed to him, and you could see that gleam in his eye, an unusual hard-on, which he only felt for you. Only you.

Without wasting much time, he removes his boxers, and his member almost jumps out. Hard and ready, with a little of pre-cum running down the head of his dick.

"You're perfect, just perfect." He murmurs to you, looking your naked body up and down, masturbating at the sight.

"Be good to me and spread those beautiful legs, mh? Can you spread them for me, princess?" And as if it were an order you obeyed, spreading your legs and giving him the perfect angle.

"Yes, good girl." He pressed your knees together, directing them towards your chest, slowly fitting himself into you.

And it worked like magic. He positioned himself between your legs, stroking his member before putting it into you, little by little, centimeter by centimeter.

You both moaned as you felt him go all the way in, stretching your tight, velvety walls.

Soon, he was all the way in, leaning some of his weight on you, holding onto his elbows, while you wrapped your legs around his hips, preventing him from moving away.

"Fuck, I've already put a baby in you, and you're still this tight," He growled in your ear, starting to thrust harder.

And all you could do was mumble things here and there, most of which made no sense. You had no control over yourself at this point, you just wanted to surrender to him, and that's what you did.

Skin colliding with skin, you scratching his back as his name kept escaping your lips, and he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

And he'd leave you whimpering loudly as soon as he hit one of your sweet spots, the way he'd hit that spot, he knew all your weaknesses, when he could and couldn't touch, what it's like when to touch, he knew perfectly.

"What about these tits here?" He teases, while with one hand, he caresses and plays with your nipples. Stretching between his fingers, it was a little uncomfortable, but it was good in a way.

"Ohh..mhmm.." All you could say was as soon as he put his warm mouth on your right breast, and his hand caressed and massaged the left one.

His tongue curled around your nipple as he sucked on your breast like there was no tomorrow, and it was sure to leave a mark the next day.

All you could hear in that room was the moans of pleasure, the bodies crashing against each other.

And with a 'pop' noise, he removed his mouth from your breast. Smiling at you in a cheeky way, seeing how surrendered to him you were.

"You're close, aren't you? Why don't you act like a good girl and cum for me, Hm?" And God, those words could get you off the ground in a matter of seconds.

As a way of stimulating you further, he starts massaging your clit in circles, helping you reach your limit even more.

"Leon... ahhh. Leon." You moaned desperately, nails digging into his back, legs wrapped around him as a way of holding on even tighter. You can be sure that tomorrow those nail marks would be clearly visible on his back.

"Yeah, come on, fuck - if you keep squeezing me like that, I'm going to cum too." He grunted, grinding his hips into you.

He was losing himself more and more, your pussy squeezing him tighter and tighter, and you could feel his cock twitching in you, more and more.

"Mhm.. Leon, I'm gonna cum." You murmured, feeling your body go further with his touches.

As a quick response, he started thrusting even faster, his cock slamming into your deepest places, hitting your g-spot again and again.

And there you go, your head goes blank, your body writhes and you let out a loud moan, calling out his name. Your body arched sharply, crashing into Leon's chest. I don't even need to tell you what a mess you've made of his cock, your fluids making it even wetter.

All he did was give you a satisfied smile, crushing his lips against yours, giving you a hot, sloppy kiss.

And now he pressed your legs against your chest, putting you in a mating press. Smashing his cock into you, hard and deep, he was searching for his own limit. And it certainly wouldn't be long because of the way you held him, your warm, wet walls sucking him inside, like the most impure image in the world.

And with one final thrust he finished inside, letting moans and grunts of pleasure come from his lips. And there was the scene, he filled you with his cum, which was deep inside you. And it was a strangely good feeling, you felt full when it happened.

And as soon as he'd finished, he lay on top of you, crushing you with his weight, but he was still holding on so he wouldn't fall all over you.

And there you both were, covered in a thin layer of sweat, panting and bodies glued together, still connected in the most intimate way possible.

"I fucking love you. Do you hear me?" he whispers, looking at you with the gentlest, most adoring eyes.

You smile, a tired but satisfied smile, "I know, I love you too." Sincere and simple words that came out of you, but that left him in a state of ecstasy.

He was quick to bring your lips together in a passionate kiss, embracing you gently.

That's what he wanted to hear, he needed reassurance, reassurance that he could try again. That he could win you back again, and he wouldn't stop until that happened.

"I'm going to make you mine again, my sweet wife." He murmurs into your lips, full of affection and tenderness.

You giggle, running your hand through his dark hair. You knew how insistent he was, and that he wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted.

And after a few more kisses, he lay down next to you, tired of holding his own weight. And then he took your left hand, where you wore your wedding ring, then grabbed your ring finger and played with it.

"I'm going to make you wear a wedding ring again, do you hear me? I'm going to make you marry me again, no matter what I have to do." He smiles gently, giving your palm a few kisses.

"I'll wait for that, Kennedy." You tease him in a playful way, pinching his cheeks.

And for a moment, he thought, and then began to speak, "You know, how about tomorrow we spend the day together? Me, you, and our daughter? We can watch some movies in the morning, and in the afternoon we can go for a walk in the park." He suggested excitedly, hoping that you would accept.

And you smiled so broadly that you couldn't hide it. You grabbed him in a tight hug.

"Of course, of course. It'll be great." You answered him just as excitedly.

And then he put your hair behind your ear, holding your face with both hands, then he began to talk in a more seductive way, "And in the night, we can go out for dinner. Just you and me, what do you think? I can call Claire, and she can stay with our daughter. And we'll both have the whole night to ourselves. Sounds good?" He knew you too well, and of course you wouldn't reject his proposal, not even if you wanted to.

You nodded eagerly, hugging him once more.

He smiled, returning the hug.

"Let's go to sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a great day." And he was going to make sure of it, you bet.

It wasn't long before the two of you were cuddling, getting lost in each other's caresses. The familiarity of being safe in your lover's arms made you fall asleep quickly, just as he fell asleep right after you. He couldn't ask for more. He was close to you, and he would try anything to make your relationship work this time, and he would make his promise count.

Because this time he was going to be the man you needed, the husband he should have been, he was going to do the right things this time. He was going to make you the happiest woman in the universe, just as you, just by being close to him, made him the happiest man in the world.

#leon kennedy #leon x reader #leon x you #leon smut #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy x y/n #leon x y/n #leon scott kennedy #death island leon #di leon

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hellodropbear · 8 hours

Text

17520 hours.

mapi leon x ingrid engen x daughter (ish)

angst. part of the 'it's time.' series

mapi struggles on the two year anniversary of her best friend's death. Ingrid is right there to help her but she doesn't know how to let her in.

this is a lot more angst than i'm used to posting but i hope you like it.

it was hard to write and partially based on personal experiences so i apologise if it's not very good.

also decided to put it all in one part because i couldn't find a good place to split it!

i hope you enjoy :)

~~~~~~

Two years is a long time.

Two years is 104 weeks, two years is 730 days. Two birthdays, two christmases, two easters. Two summers and two winters, two new years and two anniversaries.

Two years is a long time to miss someone. It should be enough time to have moved on.

But when their daughter is in your care, that seems almost impossible.

It was everyday that Mapi thought about her best friend, sometimes looking at her daughter and only seeing his eyes staring right back at her.

The day was one that the Spaniard dreaded, the days becoming quicker and quicker in the lead up, the night before slowing right down as she crawled into bed, tossing and turning as she tried to sleep.

Isabel was almost two. Still too young to understand that there was anything out of the ordinary in her life, anything that raised any questions. Even if Mapi tried explaining, she was sure that her daughter wouldn’t have the first idea what anything meant.

She wouldn’t understand that Mapi wasn’t supposed to have her even though she gave birth. She wouldn’t understand that her parents had died because her Mami was right there in front of her.

It was just a part of parenthood that Mapi had no idea how to conquer. She knew everything else, having spent hours and hours with her head buried in countless baby books, countless books that discussed grief and sadness in children.

But Isabel wasn’t sad, she wasn’t grieving because she never knew Luis or Isabel.

There were no books about how to tell a kid about her dead parents. It was a taboo topic, of sorts, one that many stand-in parents were reluctant to discuss with their child, hoping that they would just believe that they were their real parents. It was a bridge most people decided to cross when they had to, not at any point earlier than completely necessary.

Mapi didn’t want that, she wanted her daughter to know who Luis was, who Isabel was.

She just didn’t know when or how she should introduce the idea of them.

But the second anniversary of their death left Mapi in a numb state, entirely torn up on the inside as she tried to decide whether she would take her daughter with her on her annual graveyard visit. It was Mapi’s time to chat to Luis alone, no interruptions, no distractions.

Because while Isabel lost her parents, Mapi lost her lifelong best friend.

She lost Luis, who meant everything and more to her. Luis who had moved to Barcelona a few months after her, Luis who watched every single one of her games, the first person to text her after a hard loss or an impressive win.

She still hadn’t got out of the habit of checking her phone after a match, pain settling deep in her chest as her screen remained bare, his notification forever absent.

It wasn’t a question of where she would be on the second anniversary. She knew exactly where she would be sat and exactly how she would feel as she stared at that obnoxiously large gravestone, big bold carvings of his name, his date of birth and date of death.

‘Loving husband, son and friend.’ it read. Not father. ‘A man who lit up the lives of everyone he met.’ It was an understatement, Mapi had thought.

She had spent hours there when Isabel was a newborn, cradling her tiny body in her arms as she sat and silently stared at those few words. Loneliness ate her up, wishing for nothing other than her best friend.

But her daughter had lit up her world as everything else was crumbling down, single handedly keeping the two of them afloat as Mapi grew tired, the sheer weight of her emotions almost drowning them.

Isabel was an infant, too young to know anything was different. She was completely enraptured by her mother, smiling and laughing everyday they spent together in their small and stuffy apartment, completely unaware of the anguish that her mother was going through.

It seemed fitting on the second anniversary of their death, only a couple months before her second birthday that Isabel would finally visit their gravestones.

Even the thought of the graveyard made her feel uncomfortable, Mapi’s skin crawling at the thought of her best friend beneath her, cold and still. Someone she loved, such a warm and constant presence in her life, lying right there in the ground.

It made her feel sick. Sick with anger because he was gone too soon. With grief because she never got to say goodbye. With guilt because she got to have the one thing he had always wanted. But mostly sick with the heartbreaking realisation that he was down there, in the flesh.

Luis was dead.

~~~~~~

It wasn’t a cold day, but she shivered as she stepped out of the car, the cool breeze prickling her skin as she unclipped a groggy Isabel from the back seat.

“Where are we, Mami?”

She looked around at her unfamiliar surroundings in confusion, probably expecting to have woken up in her bed.

Mapi just hugged her, not trusting her voice to not break if she tried to respond.

Despite only visiting twice before, the graveyard was familiar, she knew exactly how to get to Luis’ plot. She walked with purpose, not looking at the grave as she laid down the rug, only facing her best friend’s name once she was sat down.

“This is your Papi, Is.”

Saying it out loud, her daughter in her arms. His daughter in her arms. It felt unusual, it felt uncomfortable. She could feel Isabel looking up at her, the confusion that radiated from the toddler’s body.

She loosened her arms as Isabel wriggled herself free, waddling towards the stone and placing her hand on it.

“Papi?”

She looked back at Mapi, a question in her eyes. She was met with tears slipping down her Mami’s face.

“Mami.”

In an instant, she was back in Mapi’s arms, reaching up and wiping away the tears.

“No sad, Mami. Brave like lion.”

Mapi nodded, a watery chuckle falling from her mouth.

“I’m going to talk to your Papi, Is. Is that ok?”

Isabel nodded, settling herself on the rug with her lion toy as Mapi stood up, walking closer to the stone and placing her hand on his name, crouching down so it was at eye level.

“Meet your daughter, Lu. She has your eyes, you know. She’s funny and smart and entirely the light of my life. I love her so much. More than I ever loved you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone, really. I promise. I promise I’ve tried my best and I hope you’re proud of her. I hope you’re proud of me.”

She bit her lip, unsuccessfully biting back her own tears.

“It’s been two years, Lu. I don’t know how I have made it through two whole years without you, really. It’s been so… hard. I still expect to see you, to hear from you. Sometimes I think I do, only to realise that it’s not possible. Because you’re dead. You weren’t supposed to die, not so soon. You were supposed to watch your daughter grow, I was supposed to be her really cool aunt that she would go to when you argued, to give her that tattoo when you said no. ”

She let out a strangled chuckle, trying to alleviate some of the pain she felt. They had discussed Mapi’s relationship with the child at length, knowing that the centre back would love the child as her own because she was always with Luis, she would always be around the couple as they raised their child. That wouldn’t have changed if she wasn’t biologically Mapi’s.

Back then, Mapi had thought she would have been fine with the situation. She knew the baby wasn’t really hers, she knew that she would still be able to watch the baby grow up, that she would still be able to love her.

It wasn’t a problem that had actually materialised, but they hadn’t expected both Isabel and Luis to die right before she was born.

“Now I have to discipline her, Luis, which is the one thing I didn’t want to have to do. But she’s such a good girl, she is so intelligent. Like you, really. She knows how I feel all the time, she definitely inherited your emotional intelligence. She loves everyone too, just like you. I was never supposed to be a mother, was I? You were always the paternal one out of the two of us, you were the one who deserved a child. But I am the one that got her.”

She swallows roughly, biting her lip.

“Oh Luis, you would have loved her so much.”

Very quickly, she is overcome by her tears, collapsing down into herself in sobs.

It’s all too much, it’s all too hard.

It’s unfair that her best friend left her, that she was left alone to grow up. Growing up was something they had discussed at length when they were younger. Obviously they were never going to be married, they’d never live together.

They had dreamt of adjoining houses, doors that connected their backyards. They were going to grow up together, the two of them. Luis would have his wife and a gaggle of kids, Mapi would have her wife and a pack of cats. They’d have their own families but their lives would be so closely connected because they loved each other in the purest way possible.

A childhood connection, one that grew and grew into adulthood.

One that was supposed to last a lifetime.

It did last a lifetime, it lasted Luis’ lifetime. Just not Mapi’s.

She calmed herself down after a couple minutes, Isabel unsurprisingly noticing her mother’s sadness and crawling into her arms as a source of comfort.

They sat there for hours, an easy silence settling upon the pair. Mapi was deep in thought, Isabel knew it wasn’t the time for play, it wasn’t the time for her mindless babbling.

It had been a couple hours when she heard the footsteps, people approaching silently.

She hadn’t expected to see anyone there, but upon reflection she realised she had been naive - it was the anniversary after all.

“Maria?”

She hadn’t heard Ane’s voice in two years. The last conversation they had was full of empty promises, of visits to Zaragoza that Mapi knew she would not go on. Promises that they would get to know the child that was growing in Mapi’s stomach, promises that they wouldn’t lose touch.

They had lost touch, Mapi unable to visit Luis’ home whenever she returned to her parents. Ane and Mikel were in too much pain to see the child, not sure how they could face it.

“Ane.” She stood up, facing the older woman and allowing herself to be enveloped in her arms.

“It’s so good to see you, Maria.”

Mapi could only nod, her eyes still watery and her face still red. It had been a long morning.

She turned to face Mikel, who was staring straight forward, his eyes only softening as Mapi grabbed his hand and kissed it.

“I have missed you both.” She smiled softly. It was a sad smile, but a real one.

They were Luis’ parents, of course, but they were her pseudo parents whenever she needed them. They were so close, especially when Mapi and Luis were in their teenage years.

“Is this… is that her?”

Ane looked down at the curly headed girl, her eyes softening as she watched her play with her toys.

“Isabel Luisa.” Mapi nodded. “I thought today would be a good day for her to come visit.”

The older woman looked down at the child adoringly, smiling as she looked up at the unfamiliar adults.

It was a bit awkward for a few moments, as Mapi, Mikel and Ane sat in an uncomfortable silence.

Mapi excused herself, moving away to the bathrooms but leaving her belongings by the grave. She knew she wanted to talk to them, that they wanted to talk to her.

She also knew they needed some time alone before they would be able to.

But she did return, sitting down on her rug right beside the older couple.

And Ane spoke, her voice soft, her voice sad.

She told Mapi how grateful she is, how glad she is that she took Isabel in, that she didn’t even question it. How grateful she is that Mapi did everything to make her son happy all throughout his life, from buying him an extra chocolate bar when they were children to carrying his baby for him when he and his wife were unable to do it.

Ane told her that she had given him his one dream, fatherhood. It was just unlucky that he wasn’t alive to live it.

There were tears in her eyes as she told her how grateful Luis would be. How much he loved her. How happy he would be that his daughter ended up with the Spaniard, the person he probably trusted the most in the world.

Mapi nodded her appreciation, sitting with the two adults for a while longer before Isabel grew tired, the sun falling down, the afternoon turning into evening.

She said a tearful goodbye, collecting her things and standing, Mikel standing up as well and walking her to her car.

“She looks just like him.” His words were soft, softer than Mapi had ever heard him. “I have thought about you every day, Maria. You and her. I am so relieved to see you here because I worried so much about you. I worried that you wouldn’t be ok, that you’d not be able to raise her. Not because I doubted you, but because I know how hard it is to lose people.”

Mapi nodded softly, looking up at the man.

“I don’t doubt that you have had a hard time, but I also don’t doubt that you’re a good Mami. A great Mami to this little girl.”

“Thanks, Mikel.”

He nodded, that was all he needed to say.

It was all he needed to say for Mapi to tear up again, picking Isabel up and holding her in his space. He looked at the Spaniard, who nodded, before placing a soft kiss on her head.

“Come visit, Maria. When you come home. Bring the little one too.”

Mapi nodded, a smile on her face.

This time, it wasn’t an empty promise.

~~~~~~

She got home to an empty apartment. Quiet, dark. She could have texted Ingrid, the Norwegian likely would have come over in an instant, her warm arms right there for endless comfort.

But she couldn’t bring herself to open her phone, couldn’t bring herself to stand up and walk over to the kitchen table where it was sitting. Instead, she stayed seated, relaxed back on the sofa with tears tracking down her face as she stared blankly at the wall.

It wasn’t often that she was left alone with her thoughts. Not when she had a chatty toddler to look after, a loving girlfriend who spent every day trying to make Mapi happy. It worked, because Ingrid did make her happy, happier than she’d ever been.

And Isabel also made her happy, she was the best thing in the Spaniard’s life.

So why did she feel so sad? Why was Luis’ death still so hard for her to process?

Two years felt like too long to still be so upset about it all. She wondered when it would go away. If it would ever go away.

His death was something that Mapi didn’t think she would ever be able to comprehend. She was able to live her life as normal again, plastering a smile to cover up the mess that she was on the inside. But it had taken such a long time to even get to that point, despite her daughter’s positive presence.

Everyone knew how long it had taken. Mapi didn’t think anyone really knew how broken up she still felt about it. A part of her was embarrassed, embarrassed that she still hadn’t gotten over it. Was still yet to move on.

Even as she thought it over, progress seemed so impossible. The thought of moving on like so many people had told her to do made her feel sick, because how was she supposed to move on when he was everything to her?

She didn’t sleep that night, barely able to smile as she fed Isabel and put her to bed. The toddler knew something was wrong, of course, a frown on her face as Mapi put her down for the evening.

Isabel had seen Mapi sad before. Lots of times, really, but her mother usually tried her best to hide it from her. She would push the emotions down and far away as she interacted with her kid but Isabel was so perceptive, so in tune with Mapi’s emotions.

She knew whenever Mapi was sad. It made her feel sad too.

But Isabel never would have known that her mother was sitting in the same spot on the sofa all night, her mind a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions, resisting any rest that tried to fall upon her.

She wasn’t sure if she regretted telling Ingrid that she wanted to be alone for the day, that her girlfriend shouldn’t come over like she usually did. The Spaniard just didn’t know if it would make it better or worse. She didn’t know how to alleviate herself from some of the pain she felt.

She realised she didn’t know much at all.

Mapi watched as the sun rose outside, the night becoming morning. The new day arriving along with the sounds of birds chirping, the city happily waking up as the clouds had gone away and the sun had finally come out.

Two years and one day.

Her daughter’s whining was audible from her spot in the main room as she woke up. Her daughter’s whining was probably the only thing that would have successfully moved her from her seat.

“Mami!” Isabel frowned at the sight of her mother as her door opened, dark bags beneath her red and puffy eyes.

“Good morning, my girl.”

She smiled weakly, kneeling beside her toddler and raking her hand through her hair as Isabel became more aware of her surroundings.

It was a slow morning; a slow rise from bed and a slow breakfast. The toddler was still in her pyjamas by 10, her hair and teeth remained unbrushed.

It was no surprise that Ingrid was on the other side of the door at 11, Isabel opening the door when she heard the knocks. The Norwegian had a bright smile on her face as she scooped Isabel up into her arms and planted a soft kiss on her cheek.

“Mami, Ingrid.” She pointed over at where Mapi was standing, and it was one glance at the Spaniard that told Ingrid that despite her promise that she’d be alright, her girlfriend was definitely not ok. Her smile faded and she frowned slightly, concern etched deep into her features,

Her steps towards Mapi were tentative, unsure how to approach the situation.

It wasn’t that she didn’t know Mapi, of course she knew her. She just didn’t know about Mapi’s grief. She had heard from teammates that she hadn’t dealt with the death well, that she had locked herself up in her house for months, over a year. But it was one topic that the Spaniard avoided at all costs, a master of changing the subject whenever it would come up.

Ingrid never felt like it was her place to pry.

But now, seeing her girlfriend so… broken, so depleted, it made her regret not being more insistent in those times. Because maybe if they spoke about it then, she would know how to help.

But in that moment, she had no idea what to do.

“Maria…” Her voice was quiet. “I’ve missed you.”

Mapi didn’t reply, but she could feel Ingrid’s free arm wrapping around her and she immediately clung onto her girlfriend. She was desperate and Ingrid was a lifeline.

“Alright. Isabel, do you want to go play with Bagheera for a minute?”

The child nodded as she was placed back on the floor, walking out of the kitchen and into the lounge where the cat was likely waking up from her nap.

Mapi, still clinging onto the Norwegian’s arm, frowned slightly, still not willing herself to make eye contact with Ingrid.

“You’re not ok, Mapi, are you?”

She didn’t nod, she didn’t shake her head. Her mouth remained completely sealed.

But Ingrid knew her well enough to recognise the tears that filled up her eyes, the way her hand trembled against the Norwegian’s skin.

The brunette softened, her worries confirmed; leaving Mapi alone for the entire previous day was probably one of the worst promises she had ever made. She shouldn’t have agreed to it, not when she knew that Mapi would need her.

“Ok. It’s ok. You’ll be ok, Maria. I just want you to sit down for me.”

She led her around to the other side of the kitchen bench, sitting down in a seat right beside her and wrapping her arm around the Spaniard’s shoulders.

The Norwegian could feel herself becoming more and more anxious at Mapi’s almost catatonic state, entirely unequipped and unsure how to deal with it.

It took half an hour of speaking to Mapi with no response for Ingrid to realise that she couldn’t do anything. A heartbreaking realisation of sorts, but one that she needed to have in order to help her.

She knew she should be able to do this herself, she wished that it didn’t have to be so hard. But Alexia had been there before Ingrid, Alexia had been there for Mapi during Isabel’s infancy, right after she lost Luis.

So she sent the Spanish midfielder a quick text, alerting her of the centre back’s state.

She felt guilty as the relief surged through her, Alexia assuring her that she would be there soon.

However, neither the Spaniard nor the Norwegian could see the toddler’s tears, her quiet whimpers of anxiety and upset.

Isabel didn’t like seeing Mapi upset, not at all. She was a happy person, usually, a permanent smile on her face, energetic as she played with the toddler.

But she sat and stroked Bagheera, silent tears streaming down her little face with one thought on her mind. Why was Mami so sad all of a sudden? And why did it make her feel so miserable too?

Alexia arrived in a flurry, her heart dropping at the sight of her friend as she rushed towards her, immediately pulling her into a suffocating hug.

“Maria, Maria. Come on, please. Say something.” Her voice sounded urgent and Ingrid could only watch, worry and confusion clear on her face.

With no response, Alexia leaned back, staring straight into Mapi’s eyes. She could read the centre back like a book and her eyes told her everything she needed to know.

“Ale.”

She frowned, tilting her head at the blonde in front of her.

“Mapi, breathe. Take a deep breath in.”

Ingrid slipped out of the room as Mapi followed Alexia, breathing in and out slowly until she collapsed into Alexia’s arms, the tears spilling from her eyes easily as she reconnected with reality.

It was her reaction to sadness, Mapi had realised a few months ago. Disconnecting from the world around her, unable to move, speak. She could barely hear anything, see anything until it was right in front of her face.

She couldn’t feel anything either, but that was a more common response, something that she couldn’t be pulled out of so easily.

She hated it, more than anything. Because when she was pulled from her state of disconnect, she felt nothing but terror, an overwhelming sadness that came rushing back as soon as that trap door opened.

It was like her body was trying to protect her from feeling, the emotions just too much. It would just shut down until she was numb, not really registering that at some point she just had to feel it because there was no way of getting away from those emotions.

Alexia had seen it all before and she was usually the one to grab Mapi, to shake her out of her headspace and bring her back to reality.

It was terrifying for her too, especially the first time she witnessed it.

“Ale.”

Mapi’s sobs had been reduced to quiet whimpers into Alexia’s shoulder after a while, her mind throwing itself through all her thoughts, all her emotions. Luis was gone, Luis had been gone for two years. She has his daughter, her Isabel who she loves so much. Ingrid was here but now she is not, where has Ingrid gone? Alexia, right in front of her, fear visible in the midfielder’s eyes no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

Luis was gone, Isabel was hers. Ingrid was gone, Alexia was here.

Luis, Isabel, Ingrid, Alexia.

Her four people.

She felt her breath hitch, Alexia’s arms tightening around her.

She felt the tears dripping down from her eyes, saturating the fabric of Alexia’s shirt, the wet fabric now uncomfortable to rest her face on.

She could hear Alexia’s breathing, the sound of her heart racing.

Feel Alexia’s arms around her, the floor beneath her feet and the chair that she was sitting on.

Taste the salty tears. Tears of grief, fear, confusion.

Luis, Isabel, Ingrid, Alexia.

“Ale, where is Isabel?”

~~~~~~

Ingrid slipped out of the room easily, not needed as Alexia dealt with Mapi’s overwhelming emotions.

Mapi’s cries were audible from the main room she found herself in, wincing as she walked towards Isabel who was still stroking Bagheera, her movements fluid and repetitive, a consistent cycle that easily could have rubbed a groove into the cat’s black fur.

The Norwegian couldn’t see the tears that had stained the little girl's face, still spilling from her eyes no matter how hard she tried to blink them away.

But her shoulders shook unnaturally, a shuddering inhale that had Ingrid picking up her pace and sitting down right beside Isabel and pulling her into her arms as soon as she noticed how upset she was.

Silently, she placed a thoughtful kiss on the crown of her head, her heart breaking at the silent tears, at Isabel's defeated demeanour.

No toddler should know how to cry silently.

"What's wrong, Is?"

At her words, Isabel promptly spun around in Ingrid's arms, collapsing into her and crying audibly, her entire body weight relying on the Norwegian to be held.

"Mami sad, Ingrid. I'm sad too!"

Her voice was broken and Ingrid’s heart dropped at the sound of it.

It wasn’t hard to leave, understanding that Isabel needed to get out of the apartment, that she needed to be away from the inconsolable Mapi who could still be heard crying in the kitchen.

So she left, slipping out the front door and carrying Isabel down to the street, holding her tight as she cried, walking over to the park.

By the time they reached their familiar bench, her cries had weakened, only releasing quiet puffs of air every few moments as she relished in the comfort of Ingrid’s arms.

The Norwegian sat down, loosening her grip on the toddler and manoeuvring her so that they were looking right at each other. Ingrid’s frown was light and her hands were soft as she reached out and wiped the tears away from Isabel’s wet cheeks, cupping her face when she was done.

Words failed the defender as she looked at the toddler, her uncanny resemblance to Mapi heightened in her upset state.

She matched her mother perfectly, Ingrid thought, trying to avoid that voice in the back of her head that she would never be enough. Their smiles were identical and their laughs sounded the same. They both carried the same exasperated sigh, the confused frown and those doe eyes that were impossible to say no to. But they carried the same tears, the same cries.

Mapi’s emotions were often reflected in her daughter, whether it was happiness, excitement, fear, sadness. Isabel was smart - emotionally intelligent. It was like she always knew exactly how her Mami was feeling, even if she wasn’t old enough to understand why, to understand what those feelings were.

This was one of those times when she had no idea what this sadness meant. She could clearly feel the sadness, feel her mother was sad. But she wasn’t even two yet, how could she possibly be expected to process those emotions like someone years older?

Ingrid wasn’t bad with kids either. There were heaps of children in her family; cousins, nieces, nephews. She’d been there throughout all of their childhoods, able to comfort them and soothe them enough until their parents came back.

But Isabel’s sadness was completely new territory, there was no waiting for Mapi to arrive because Ingrid knew she wouldn’t. It was up to her to calm down the child but for the first time, she was completely stumped.

She didn’t know what she could say to calm her down. She didn’t know how Isabel felt, she was too young to be able to express her emotions, to talk through what she was feeling.

But this wasn’t a tantrum or a small cry over a minor convenience. This was a meltdown, caused by her overwhelming emotions that she couldn’t quite comprehend.

“Ingrid…”

She spoke quietly, leaning into the comfort of the Norwegian’s hands on her face.

Ingrid nodded, encouraging the child to continue.

“Why my Papi a rock?”

The Norwegian’s face softened, her heart sinking as she tried to subtly release an exhale that she had been holding in.

Unsure what she was going to say, she opened her mouth. But Isabel was too quick, raising her voice another time.

“Why Mami sad at rock?”

“Is…”

The child looked up at her, eyes shining with unshed tears, pure innocence reflected in her eyes, her features.

“Isabel. Your Papi, he’s not a rock. Your Papi was a person, a very good person.”

The child frowned, confusion etched deep into her features. Ingrid thought she seemed entirely too concerned for a not quite two year old.

“He died before you were born though, Is. Mami is sad today because she misses him. She misses your Papi.”

She doubted Isabel would even understand what she was trying to say. She didn’t know when children were supposed to understand the concept of death, the concept of life.

Definitely not before the age of two.

So Ingrid decided to try to move away from the topic, her new goal just to bring a smile back onto Isabel’s face. It was the least she could do, really.

“But it’s ok, Is, because you have Mami and you have me and you have Alexia and you have Leila and Patri and Pina! You love all of those people don’t you?”

Isabel nodded easily, a smile creeping onto her face.

“I love them so much. Especially Mami. And you, Ingrid!”

Ingrid chuckled, her laughs a superficial cover of the anxieties and concern she felt. Because Isabel was right here calming down in her arms, but she had no idea of the state of Mapi, she had no idea how long this happiness would last.

“And everyone I just mentioned loves you too. And your Papi, he loves you as well but he loves you from somewhere else. You have people everywhere loving you!”

Ingrid beamed, trying to make the conversation feel more lighthearted. It was a successful attempt, apparently, because Isabel replicated her smile and turned herself around, sitting back down in Ingrid’s lap and leaning into her chest.

“I love you Ingrid.”

The Norwegian could only smile sadly, planting a thoughtful kiss on Isabel’s head.

~~~~~~

Mapi’s head was a mess, Alexia had realised. Her emotions all over the place, her priorities set in a weird and confusing line.

The tears had eventually ran out and she was clearly exhausted, her head in Alexia’s lap as the blonde spoke softly. The familiar Spanish was a comfort to Mapi’s ears, the words meaningful, flooded with emotion.

“You need to worry about what is important right now,” Alexia had murmured, her hands combing through Mapi’s hair. It was reminiscent of how the centre back calmed her own daughter, soft hands and quiet words.

It was reminiscent of how Mapi’s own mother used to soothe her, nostalgic and comforting.

“Luis is important, of course he is. But he’s gone, Maria. If you’re going to worry about anything it has to be yourself, it has to be Isabel. You have to think about Ingrid, how to prioritise your relationship on top of everything else.”

Alexia shook her head at that, sighing almost silently.

“Ingrid will try not to let you focus on her, but you have to try. You have to show her how much you love her like I know you do. That she’s your person.”

Mapi looked up at Alexia, her forehead wrinkling as she frowned.

“She… she doesn’t know that?”

“She does know that, of course she does. But sometimes you need to put her first. Sometimes she needs you the most. Sometimes, she needs you more than Isabel does. She wants to know all of you, Mapi, even this part. She wants to understand your grief, to know what to do when you are having a hard time. She wants me to look after Isabel while she comforts you because she loves you. You are her person, just like she is yours.”

Mapi frowned again, swallowing back the tears that threatened to fill up her eyes. Because Ingrid was everything to her, of course she was. She was the person that Mapi loved more than anyone, the first person she had ever really and truly fallen in love with. But Alexia was right. More often than not, her attention was pulled away from Ingrid, Isabel making an appearance. Maybe she was hungry, thirsty, tired. She could have been bored or overexcited or maybe she just couldn’t sleep.

Because Isabel was her baby girl, her last connection to Luis; her last connection to her person before Ingrid.

It was somewhat painful for Mapi to consider how these small things would have hurt the Norwegian, how they would have all built up over time, building Ingrid’s thick skin, the impenetrable strength and sometimes superficial happiness that the Spaniard wished to break down.

“What do I do, Ale?”

Her voice broke and Alexia pulled her upwards, straight into a hug.

“You talk to her.”

Mapi nodded, falling back down to her lying position on the sofa, the exhaustion of the day overcoming her despite it only being 12pm.

Alexia could tell the exact moment she fell asleep, her breathing evening out and her body finally relaxing.

The midfielder had expected something like this to happen today. She knew that Luis’ death was a date engraved in her friend’s mind, one that could never pass without any upset, any thought.

It was only the second anniversary so of course it would bring up all of the emotions that were left and ignored two years ago, Mapi’s grief pushed away by the little baby Isabel. The same thing had happened a year ago and the midfielder knew it would happen again in another year.

Only she hoped she wouldn’t be needed in a years time, similar to how she had hoped that she wasn’t required this year.

She had been somewhat surprised and just a little bit disappointed when she received Ingrid’s text, having hoped that Mapi finally would have spoken to her girlfriend about it, that Ingrid would have expected it and known exactly what she needed to do. It was abundantly clear, however, that it was not the case.

Ingrid’s terrified and bewildered facial expression was one piece of evidence, but so was Mapi’s silence, her heavy breathing and her complete refusal to speak while the Norwegian was in the room.

She was disappointed, really. She felt guilt overcome her as she watched Ingrid slip out of the room, a look of pure defeat written all over her face as she accepted that there was nothing she could do to help Mapi.

Mapi who was an emotional wreck, who needed support and who just needed to let everything out for once.

Mapi, who needed her girlfriend’s comfort but didn’t know how to ask for it, couldn’t bring herself to ask for it.

Alexia knew that the Norwegian would have given it to her without a second thought.

It was all she could think about as Ingrid walked back through the door, Isabel’s hand tight in hers as her eyes scanned the room and landed on the sleeping Mapi in Alexia’s lap.

Isabel inspected her quietly, satisfied with her sleeping body on the sofa. She was with Alexia and Alexia made people happy. She was sure Mapi would be happy now, so she scampered out of the lounge and into the laundry where she knew Bagheera would be waiting.

Ingrid was less convinced, sitting beside Alexia with concern written all over her face.

“She’ll be alright.” Alexia whispered her words softly, an attempt to make the Norwegian feel better. She didn’t expect Ingrid’s eyes to fill up with tears, her head falling into her hands.

“Why doesn’t she talk to me about any of this?”

Her voice sounded defeated, frustrated. Her watery eyes looked back up towards Alexia and the midfielder could easily see the anguish in her eyes.

“She’s bad at talking about it, embarrassed by it. She doesn’t like to feel all these emotions so she just pushes them away. But they come back every now and again and she has no idea how to deal with it. I try telling her that it’s normal, she shouldn’t feel embarrassed but she doesn’t listen. It makes her feel weak, she said. You saw her earlier too, she just shuts down. I think it’s because she just doesn’t know what else she can do so she turns into a robot of sorts, on autopilot to get things done. And then someone will come and see straight through her and it’s like she breaks.”

Alexia’s eyes were watering, her hand coming to rest on Mapi’s head.

“But she loves you so much, Ingrid. More than I’ve ever seen her love anyone before. I know she wants to talk to you about all this, she wishes she could just let it all out. We’ve discussed it before, what she could say, how she could say it. She’ll call me the next day and say she chickened out, she couldn’t bring herself to go through it all. It’s mentally exhausting, I think. She used to be so confident in herself, she didn’t care about anything but her happiness and the happiness of the people around her. She was the person who would cheer everyone else up, make us smile and laugh. She’s still that person, that’s the one that we see everyday. But she never learnt how to grieve or how to let other people cheer her up and this is what happened because of it.”

Ingrid was quiet for a few moments, her eyes focussed on Mapi’s sleeping figure. She looked so peaceful, her golden brown hair falling over her face, completely covering her tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes.

“Why didn’t you help her?”

She knew it wasn’t Alexia’s fault; she knew that the midfielder beside her would have done whatever she thought was right. But part of the Norwegian thought that if she had learned what to do with her emotions two years ago when Luis died, everything would be easier now. Everything would be easier for everyone.

“She just wouldn’t let us. I regret it every day, Ingrid. ”

~~~~~~

It wasn’t long before Alexia left, leaving Ingrid with a sleeping Mapi and taking the almost two year old back to her house with her.

They didn’t want Isabel to be able to understand what was going on, they didn’t want her to feel those sad emotions when she was entirely incapable of understanding why she suddenly felt so sad.

So it was Ingrid’s face that Mapi woke up to, the familiar green piercing straight through her, a sad expression all over her face.

“Ingrid.”

Her voice was hoarse, her words scratchy and her eyes swollen. It had been a difficult few hours and she felt entirely incapable of having the conversation that she knew Ingrid wanted to have.

“I don’t know how… how do I even start?”

But it seemed she was wrong as Ingrid shook her head, her arms wrapping the Spaniard up in a tight hug as she sat up from her horizontal position.

“No, you don’t need to. Not right now. You’re exhausted, physically and emotionally and I don’t want to talk now. I want you to be ok, I want to make you feel ok.”

Mapi didn’t know it, but the Norwegian’s words were exactly what she needed. Ingrid was exactly what she needed.

Her emotional perception, the unique ability she had to be so aware of how everyone felt at any given time. It was one of her qualities that Mapi loved the most, one of the things that was so intriguing, so alluring about the defender.

“What can I do to make you feel ok?”

Mapi smiled weakly, trying to bite back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. It wasn’t just sadness this time, but gratitude, love. Because Ingrid was perfect even when the centre back knew she had been the opposite of that. And despite all of Mapi’s own personal flaws, Ingrid still loved her.

And if everything else fell apart, Mapi knew that her love would be more than enough.

“You being here makes me feel ok.”

Ingrid smiled into the embrace, only releasing the hug when Mapi’s grip on her loosened.

“Isabel is at Alexia’s and she will be there all night. She shouldn’t be in this environment when you are so upset, not when she’s so young. So it’s just you and me, whatever you want to do.”

Mapi nodded easily, somewhat relieved that her daughter was away from all this.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me.”

The evening was a slow one, relaxed and quiet in the calm apartment. They weaved around each other in the kitchen as they cooked with a practised ease, dinner cooked and plated up seamlessly.

Conversation as they ate was minimal, the Spaniard clearly distracted and the Norwegian happy to focus on her own food.

“I… I need to talk to you, Ingrid. Not right now, but soon. Maybe tomorrow. I just don’t know how to say what I want to say in a way that makes sense. It’s… hard for me, hard to talk about… it.”

The Norwegian’s attention was captured at the sound of Mapi’s voice, instantly nodding with a comforting smile on her face.

“I know it’s hard. I don’t want you to feel any pressure to tell me anything.”

But the Spaniard disagreed, shaking her head quickly.

“It’s not pressure, I want you to know everything.”

Ingrid’s forehead creased, her eyebrows drawing together as she frowned.

“But why? Why do you want to go through it all again with yet another person if you don’t have to?”

It was Mapi’s turn to frown, her head shaking as she let out a quiet exhale.

“I haven’t ever gone through everything with anyone. Alexia knows a lot, sure. I know she’s told you what she knows. I want you to know everything. Because I love you more than anything and for you to love me like that you have to know everything, you have to see all my faults, everything that I’m ashamed of.”

Ingrid stopped the tears from forming before they had a chance to materialise in her eyes, but Mapi could tell she was stopping herself from crying by the way her eyes blinked away the invisible tears.

“What’s wrong?”

Her voice was incredibly soft, her Spanish lilt calming, comforting.

“I don’t think there’s anything you could say that would change the way I love you. I couldn’t love you any more than I do and there’s nothing that will ever make me love you any less. I wish you would understand that sadness and grief isn’t a weakness or a fault, it’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s natural yet it takes a completely different path in every single person. You’re not different, Maria. You’re not weak. The opposite of weak, really. I love you for who you are, because you are funny, you’re kind, you’re caring. You look after people and you’re an incredible mother. I love you because you are strong, one of the strongest people I have ever met. The love I have for you is not… despite anything, there’s nothing that I would change because you’re perfect. So sure, tell me everything because I will listen but it will not change a single thing. Don’t tell me that I can’t love you before I know because I do, so much.”

“Thank you.” Mapi sniffled, her voice thready as she nodded at Ingrid, her eyes dropping back down to her plate in front of her.

It was exactly what she needed to hear.

~~~~~~

“Mami!”

Despite Ingrid’s protests in the kitchen, Isabel bounded into their bedroom, bouncing up onto the bed right beside a sleeping Mapi.

“Isabel! I said not to wake her up!”

Ingrid frowned from her spot at the bedroom door, her forehead creasing further at Isabel’s defiant expression. The toddler turned back towards Mapi, shaking her shoulder rapidly.

“Mami! Mami!”

Ingrid rolled her eyes, releasing a loud sigh and shaking her head as the Spaniard rolled over, groaning as she opened her eyes.

The past few days had been rough and Ingrid was sure Mapi hadn’t gotten more than three hours of sleep each day. The Norwegian was awoken constantly by the sound of her cries or her restless movements in the bed, but had stopped asking if she was ok after seeing the guilt on Mapi’s face at waking her up.

It was an obvious question anyway, Mapi clearly was not ok.

She had been distant, often unfocused. The Norwegian had to take over the parenting ropes and she hadn’t left the Spaniard’s apartment, helping with cooking and cleaning and the other mundane housework that Mapi just didn’t have the energy to do.

She would say a few words over meals, and quiet murmurs of gratitude throughout the day. Ingrid didn’t know how rapidly her notes app was filling up, full of dot points about how and what she would say to Ingrid. When she could bring up that conversation that she was so desperate yet so hesitant to have.

“Morning Is.” The Spaniard rolled over, opening her arms up for the toddler as she fell into them, snuggling easily into her mother.

“Mornin’ Mami!”

Mapi smiled, looking over at Ingrid in the doorway and motioning for her to come and join them on the bed. Naturally, the Norwegian moved towards them, sitting up beside Mapi and resting her head on the centre back’s shoulder.

“We were awake very early this morning, weren’t we Is?’

She rolled her eyes as the child nodded and Mapi bit back a laugh, squeezing Isabel softly.

“You should have woken me.” Mapi smiled, planting a kiss on the side of Ingrid’s head, ignoring her scoff.

“Ingrid said don’t wake you up, Mami!” Isabel interjected again, looking up at her mother. “But I missed you!”

Mapi could only chuckle, planting a kiss on her child’s head. “I missed you too, my Is!”

It was a slow day, but one full of quiet laughter and happiness. The small family of three spent the late morning hours in bed, before getting up and heading down to the park and tiring the toddler out. She was exhausted by the time they got back, passing out on the sofa as Ingrid took off her shoes and Mapi scrubbed the mud out of her jacket.

The girl had been put to bed by the time Mapi had returned from the laundry, Ingrid sat on the sofa with the remote in her hand.

“What do you want to watch?”

She had heard Mapi walking towards the lounge room, apparently. The Spaniard didn’t enter immediately, instead steadying herself on the doorframe and taking a deep breath.

The time had come, she realised. She couldn’t justify pushing this conversation away any longer, pretending that she wasn’t thinking about it when truthfully it was at the top of her mind at all times.

She knew it wasn’t an easy conversation to have and she knew that it was going to be hard to bring it up. But that difficulty won’t ever go away, no matter how long she leaves it. If anything it will get harder over time because time gives her fears and anxieties an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to overcome her.

And she was completely adamant that that would not happen. She would not be overcome by those terrors ever again.

She realised she had paused in the doorway for too long when Ingrid turned around, a small frown settling on her face.

“Are you ok?”

Mapi nodded, forcing a stressed smile onto her face and finally taking those steps inside, sitting herself on the sofa beside Ingrid and taking the remote from her hands.

“Yes. No, but.. Yeah.”

“Talk to me.”

And she did. She started at the beginning, all the way back when she was a small child and meeting Luis for the first time. She told Ingrid how they had been glued to each other’s sides forever, how they grew up and nothing ever changed. How grateful she was when Luis followed her to Barcelona, moving into his own apartment just a five minute walk away.

The Spaniard reminisced on times where they would eat dinner on the floor of his unfinished apartment, takeaway boxes empty but the room still full of happiness and laughter. She showed Ingrid her tattoo, the little girl and boy on the playground that she had gotten to match with Luis.

It was his first and only tattoo and he had only trusted Mapi to give it to him. She knew she had to get one the same and it was something they had treasured. A secret of sorts, a little thing that almost nobody knew about.

The centre back explained how he had always been a paternal person, all the way back when they were those little kids on the playground. He would look out for everyone, act all big and strong to protect his friends even when he felt equally as terrified. He was the person that everyone went to as they got a bit older, his emotional nature and calm demeanour always popular among their peers.

She told Ingrid that she always felt so lucky that even though he was so popular, she was still his best friend. She was always his number one and that only ever changed when Isabel came along.

Isabel who was just as lovely as her boyfriend, another person that Mapi learned to love.

Another person who proved time and time again that she was a mother.

So she lamented on the heartbreak that the young couple experienced when they realised they couldn’t have a child, that parenthood seemed almost impossible.

She explained her entire thought process to the Norwegian, how she debated with herself whether it was worth it to miss so much football during what could have been her peak years. Whether she would ever feel comfortable around a child that was half of her DNA, a child that she carried for nine months but technically didn’t belong to her.

But Luis’ happiness was always the most important thing and when he rang her up for the 10th night in a row in tears, her decision was made for her.

She told Ingrid how long it took to convince the couple to let her carry their child, having to go through the same arguments that she had with herself only weeks earlier, having to come up with rebuttals to their incredibly valid points.

But it had only taken an emotional monologue from the Spaniard to convince them, all three of them sat in tears as they finally agreed to it.

She talked her through the IVF process, every high and every low that she experienced. How easy the pregnancy was at the beginning, the only symptom her small bump and minor cravings.

But she had Luis and she had Isabel at that point, both of them so incredibly grateful that they practically waited on the centre back’s hand and foot. It annoyed her, really, so she had kicked them out of her apartment, told them to only come over if she called them.

For the most part, they respected that, only visiting once a week unless Mapi called them for the company.

She admitted how much she regretted that deal, how she wished that she made them sit with her all day every day.

Maybe then they wouldn’t have been in the car that day, maybe they would have been safe and sound in Mapi’s apartment.

She couldn’t have known that their trip to Madrid would be fatal, there was no way of being able to foresee that and to stop them from going.

Tears started to slip down her cheeks as she recalled what they told her over the phone, how both Isabel and Luis had been killed on impact. A drunk driver, it was, a drunk driver who was miraculously left unscathed.

She talked Ingrid through her thoughts that followed the phone call, after she had sobbed and screamed. Once the tears had finally ceased and an unsettling silence fell upon her apartment.

She felt lost, she felt alone. She wanted to call Luis because he was the person that made her feel better in these times, he was her company when it felt like her entire world was falling apart.

But of course she couldn’t call Luis. She should have called someone else, her mother, her brother. Alexia, even. But that would be replacing her best friend, something she couldn’t bring herself to do. Not so soon after he had died. Not when the wound was so fresh, not before she even got the chance to process it.

She admitted to her girlfriend that she still hadn’t really processed it, that it was still a work in progress. His death was one she would never understand, she didn’t think she ever would fully process the idea that he was gone.

Ingrid let tears spill from her eyes as Mapi remembered how lonely she was for the next few weeks, how she realised that now she had this child that she was just supposed to be able to raise. How she felt entirely unprepared, unfit to be a mother, unequipped to be able to raise a child to a standard that Luis would be happy with.

How she doubted herself even before Isabel was born.

When she gave birth it got so much harder, everything seemed so impossible and she couldn’t think about anything else other than that little life in her arms.

She had fallen in love with the baby immediately, guilt overcoming her at her selfish gratitude that Isabel was a living reminder of Luis, she was someone that Mapi would always have. A living being that literally carried her father around with her.

She told Ingrid how she saw his eyes as soon as they opened, the tape over her shattered heart doing little to protect it when it was forcefully thrown back on the ground at the reminder of everything she had lost.

But as she spent more and more time with Isabel, as she watched the little girl grow up she could feel her heart building itself back together, little pieces at a time supergluing themselves together, creating an indestructible structure.

Isabel had been the reason her heart was being fixed, the reason that she felt like she could finally breathe again, finally reunited with the organ that pumped the blood around her body, the organ that made her feel alive.

She smiled through the tears as she recalled how alive she felt when Isabel took her first steps, when her first words tumbled right out of her mouth. As the child laughed, as she played with the cat. As she grew up into a child, something for Mapi to love, to be so incredibly proud of.

Because Luis was gone and that was something that Mapi would never be ok with.

But he left her the greatest gift of all time, like he knew that his best friend wouldn’t be ok without him.

And similar to everything else he had done for Mapi through their lives, this gift, his daughter, had made sure that the blood never stopped pumping, that every single fragment of her shattered heart was still there, ready and waiting for its turn to be glued back into place.

Isabel had done a good job of orchestrating the reconstruction, even if she had no idea what she was doing.

“But then you came along, Ingrid, and you fixed my heart too.”

~~~~~~

alright this was very long

i've proofread a couple times and kinda hate this but it's as good as it will get :)

please let me know what you think! send me anything else you would like to see as well.

and i apologise for this taking so long, i have been very busy with uni (as usual) but on top of that i had surgery on my knee almost a week ago so am very tired and in a fair amount of pain at the minute

have a good day

#mapi leon #ingrid engen #woso fanfics #woso #barca femeni #mapi leon x ingrid engen #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso one shot #fcb femeni #alexia putellas

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1-800reki · 2 months

Text

❝random Osamu D. headcanons! ❞

Summary: Silly little headcanons with Dazai :3

Pairings: Dazai x gn reader

a/n: I don't really know how to write Dazai correctly so apologies if he's mischaracterized 😔

• Before you started dating he most definitely tried to act mysterious to try and attract you.

• It was the trope of he fell first and he fell harder.

• If you don't respond in less than 10 seconds he'll spam you.

D: 'heyy prettyy'

D: 'why aren't you responding.'

D: 'HEY'

D: 'fly low pretty 🦍(I couldn't find the dove)'

Your Initial: 'I WAS SLEEPING'

• He would spam you with random videos. Mostly ones he would find funny but it's depressing.

• If you were shorter than him he would constantly make jokes about it. If you're taller he still makes jokes about it.

• Teases you constantly.

• He annoys you whenever you don't give him enough attention. You could be doing important work and he'll be at your side.

Dazai: "Are you done yet? This is so boring!"

Y/n: "I just started. Wait like 30 minutes."

• He would kind of stop his suicide attempts. He'd still attempt but keep it to a minimum to not worry you as much.

• Would ask you to do a double suicide and you change your answer every time just to tease him.

• In a modern au he would put in his bio 'captured by this creature' with your @.

• Whenever you both go on walks and encounter a dog he will stare down the dog before pulling you to continue walking.

• He loves you but if you want a dog he would convince you not to get one since he dislikes them.

• You would have to drive everywhere since he's a reckless driver. Do not trust him behind the wheel.

• You keep him in line. Kunikida has your number on speed dial just in case Dazai slacks off.

• You are Kunikida's favorite person because you keep Dazai in check.

• Because of how people think of Dazai, they would expect him to be overprotective and possessive. But he's COMPLETELY THE OPPOSITE. He doesn't care if you stay out at night or who you're around, because he knows you're loyal . But if shit goes down expect him to be there in a second.

• Dazai is one sarcastic man. Like if you see him going to the bathroom and you ask "are you going to the bathroom?" he'll say "no, I'm going to the shed to bury Chuuya. YES IM GOING TO THE BATHROOM."

• If you were sad he'd probably say something stupid like "turn that frown upside down bbg"

• Dazai sings and hums when he's not paying attention , and you've definitely seen it a couple of times.

• At first you two were no labels but now he's super proud to be with you.

• If you had any insecurities he would always say he found you to be breathtaking no matter what.

• To be fair, he probably doesn't find PDA as an issue. If you intertwined your hand with his, he wouldn't find it as a big deal. He doesn't mind kisses in public either. (RAHHHHJHH)

• His favorite spots to kiss you would be the forehead, lips and your hands.

• If he were to take you on a date it would either be a restaurant or a at home movie night.

• He gossips with you. You have any sort of drama from work or friends? He's sitting with you listening to everything. Especially on spa days you insist you both have.

Y/n: "Then she found out her husband was sleeping with her co worker."

Dazai: "I knew something was up."

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #silly :3 #dazai x reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai x gn reader #headcanon #akira's headcanons

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citrustan · 12 days

Note

hello , can i request a drabble wherein oc finds out that their husband politician Namjoon is having an affair with his secretary? like, oc found Namjoon was cheating when oc was watching the news and there are photos of the affair and a recorder phone call of the affair wherein the secretary was talking bad about the oc and Namjoon was just chuckling. thank u in advance ❣️

aaaa i'm excited to write this one, thank you for sending it in!

all eyes on you (knj)

pairing: namjoon x reader

genre: angst!! husband!namjoon x wife!reader, mayoral candidate!namjoon x housewife!reader. i imagine namjoon to be older than oc.

warnings: infidelity! oc will be trashed a little ok. you have been warned. the contents of this story quite literally replicate the anon's request. please don't read it if you find the topics offensive and/or unappealing. oh u guys r gonna hate me,,

The living room was quiet, save for the soft hum of the television in the background. You weren't really watching anything in particular--- just letting the flicker of images fill the empty silence around you.

You were perpetually tired.

Your mind wandered, lost in the routine of another evening spent waiting for your husband to return home from wherever he was.

It's not just this though. Namjoon had been distant lately, buried in meetings and late-night phone calls, but you had brushed it off as just part of his life as a politician.

This was the price of being married to a man like him, or so you'd tell yourself.

It was peak campaigning period. Namjoon was running for mayor. So it wasn't out of the ordinary for him to pull all-nighters.

Yet, you couldn't help but stay up for him anyway.

Unintentionally, you switch to a news channel.

Normally, you'd prefer to stay far away from anything to do with politics, as ironic as it sounds with you being married to such an ambitious politician. But, you yearned to feel closer to him, and the news channel his (and sometimes your) name(s) frequented on was the only way for you to satisfy this urge.

You sat on your luxurious yet cold, leather sofa and zoned out, staring into space.

And, oh, what a choice that was.

“Now in. Breaking news on mayoral candidate Mr. Kim Namjoon...”

Just like that, your attention snapped back to the screen when the news anchor mentioned your husband's name. Your heart skipped a beat or two.

In only a second, a thousand thoughts crossed your mind, hundreds of scenarios where he'd hurt himself, or been hurt, maybe his opponent backed out and he was pronounced mayor right this instant, maybe his opponent was hurt, or maybe he was advocating for yet another controversial decision.

Not even close.

What followed wasn’t about a new policy or a political scandal--- it was something way worse.

Photos. Of him. Your husband. Kim Namjoon. With her. His secretary. Bae Joohyun.

They weren’t just working. The pictures showed them at some dinner, leaning in close, laughing in a way that made your stomach churn.

They looked too comfortable, too familiar, as if this was second nature to them.

How cliché.

It felt like the ground beneath you had cracked wide open, eager to swallow you up and wipe every trace of your existence.

It felt like time had stopped. The air around you was stagnant. You couldn't hear anything but a high-pitched ringing in your ear; until what the channel displayed next.

The screen transitioned to a recorded phone call.

You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath until you heard Joohyun's voice, dripping with smugness.

“I don’t know how she doesn’t see it. Honestly, it’s almost pathetic,” you hear the woman sneer. “She’s too busy playing the good housewife while you’re here with me. I mean, what does she even bring to the table? It's not like you don't have staff handling your home.”

You don't even have time to digest the attack on you because what came next completely shattered you.

Namjoon's laugh.

It wasn’t just a polite chuckle, not something he gave when uncomfortable. It was genuine, full of warmth--- the laugh you used to think was reserved just for you, not against you.

“She’s a bit clueless, isn’t she?” Your husband murmured, amusement clear in his voice.

The remote slipped from your hand and hit the ten thousand dollar carpet with a dull thud.

Your mind was racing, trying to make sense of it, but nothing could explain what you had just seen and heard. All you could think was a mix of 'Namjoon' 'he hates me' 'what went wrong?' 'how could he dare to do this?' 'Joohyun was so nice to me' and 'I want to lie down.'

The man you loved, and cherished, the man you trusted, had betrayed you. And worse, he had laughed at your expense, as if you were nothing more than a convenient joke?

You can't even begin to feel the humiliation of the news being broken to you by TV emission, because your husband's betrayal had struck you so hard, all your thoughts surrounded only him.

Yet another irony; the news of his betrayal was broken to you so publicly, yet you were so, so lonely.

You can feel your cheeks and ears heating. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you don't cry.

Not yet. You don't know why.

Instead, you continue to sit there, numb, as the rest of the world kept spinning around you.

The hours (two hours) blurred together as you sat in silence, staring at the news segment on repeat.

There was no new information. Just the commentators discussing your life. They had managed to dig into your and Namjoon's past. Then his secretary/mistress' as well.

Yeah, she had been promoted to 'Mr. Kim's mistress.'

They discussed, and agreed with Joohyun's take on you being a lousy wife to Namjoon. How Bae Joohyun is a better fit for him. Then another counter argument stating you were 'the perfect, submissive, wife material' for Namjoon.

They went into detail about Namjoon's past relationships, then moved on to scrutinizing every single interaction he had with a woman since your marriage being made public.

Then, they brought on more guest stars on the show to react to your husband's leaked voice recordings.

You felt hollow, with every heartbeat punctuated by that same mocking laugh playing in your head.

All your devices, phones, iPads, landlines, had been vibrating and ringing non-stop. You wonder if any of those are from Namjoon.

It wasn’t until the door clicked open and you heard Namjoon’s familiar, hurried footsteps that you finally snapped out of your daze. He was almost stomping the floor. Following close behind, you hear another unmistakable 'click-clack' of a pair of high heels.

Your husband stormed in, his tie slightly loosened, looking weary from another long day, along with his fucking secretary, who looks equally fatigued.

He tries to talk, “_____."

Instantly, you shoot him down, "Don't even." You stood up with false-fervour. Not wanting to hear from either of the traitors, you turn to rush to one of the guestrooms.

Before you turned, you caught Joohyun rolling her eyes, her lips pursed in annoyance.

The woman looked more irritated at being dragged into this mess than remorseful. That was the last straw.

You don't quite remember what happened next. You were suddenly so fired up. Your brows furrowed, and your tears had clouded your vision.

Without thinking, you grabbed the nearest thing--- your fluffy house slipper, and hurled it straight at the secretary’s head pulling a stupefying gasp out of your husband.

"What the fuck?!"

note: this hurt to write kinda until i made her throw a slipper at joohyuns head :( ofc this is also kinda raw and unedited bec (you know it) lazy.

do you guys want a follow-up?? perhaps a confrontation? you'll have to be vocal abt it if you do... so talk to me u clowns 😡

BTW i love bae joohyun, i just think she'd be a perfect villain for this story. smart, sexy, bitchy, and intimidating.

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pickingupmymercedes · 3 months

Text

An impossible dream - Lewis Hamilton

request: "hey!you are so good in writing angst and I feel there's a lack of angst with lh and sometimes i just want a heavy heart 🫣 but i was listening to beyonce and her song best thing i never had made me wish to read something like that with lewis"

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

warnings: angsty, Lewis being kind of a jerk (but not really)

wordcount: +1K

a/n: Sorry it took this long anon, but I hope it gives you all the feels, because it did for me.

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

______________________________________________________________

The opulence of the Monaco in a Grand Prix weekend shimmered around as the warm glow of the setting sun bathed the city in its usual golden hue. Y/n and her husband cruised through the narrow, winding streets in his collection worthy of a car. The engine purred smoothly, a low, contrasting hum to the noise of her own mind as they made their way to a party very few could ever get close to.

Her husband reached over and took her hand, his touch gentle and reassuring. "You've been quiet" he said, glancing at her with concern. "Are you okay?"

She turned to him, managing a small smile. "Just nervous to be back in Monaco," she replied, barely above a whisper before she continued "I have a lot of past history in these streets" she admitted, her voice carrying a mixture of nostalgia and pain.

He nodded, understanding deepening in his eyes. "Is it because of your ex?" She hesitated for a moment before nodding and he squeezed her hand, a silent show of affection.

"I've seen how it affects you, still" he replied softly. "I'm happy to wait until you're comfortable to talk about it."

"Thank you for never pushing" she said, her gratitude genuine.

He smiled, bringing her hand to his lips for a tender kiss. "You’re really the best thing that’s ever happened to me" he said, his voice filled with love.

She saw him before he saw her, the man whose name once caused her heart to race faster than his car on the track and she instinctively tightened her grip on her husband's arm.

He noticed the man beside her, and then his gaze dropped to her left hand, where the large diamond ring sparkled under the golden lights. His expression turned unreadable, a myriad of emotions: shock, recognition, questioning, and even a composed understanding.

As the night wore on, and her husband was eventually pulled into conversations with some business magnates, she was left momentarily alone, drifting towards the balcony, seeking solace in the night breeze and the endless horizon of the sea. The memories of past sunrises in this very place, leaving a bittersweet and relentless feeling.

"Y/n." His voice was a soft murmur behind her, as gentle as the evening wind. She closed her eyes for a moment, steeling herself before turning to face him.

"Lewis," she acknowledged, her voice steady despite the turmoil inside.

"Do you even remember those sunrises?" He took a step closer, the faint scent of his cologne bringing back a rush of memories.

She looked away, back towards the dark waters. "Please, don't." she whispered; her voice almost lost in the breeze.

"What's happened, Y/n? Why did you disappear?" His tone was soft, but insistent.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside her. "Some people need to grow up and stop chasing impossible dreams" she said, her voice more composed than she felt.

"Is that what you think we were? An impossible dream?" His eyes boring into hers, searching for the truth.

She met his gaze, her eyes betraying the pain she had buried. "I couldn't keep pretending, Lewis. Being a satellite to you, yet always on the outside... It was killing me. I needed stability, something real."

"Is that what you have now?" He nodded towards the crowd inside. "With him?"

"He makes me feel safe" she replied, her voice firm.

He looked at her, his expression a mix of sadness and frustration. "Are you happy, Y/n? Truly happy?"

Her heart ached at his words, but she forced herself to keep her composure "Happiness wasn’t a luxury I could quite afford. Not anymore."

He shook his head, stepping closer until there was little to no space between them, his perfume making her dizzy. "You deserve more than just safety. You deserve to be loved, completely and unconditionally."

"And you think you could have given me that?" A tear threatening to slip down her cheek, the tinge of anger to her voice just as she quickly looked up and closed her eyes.

"I know I could have" he said softly, his voice filled with conviction. "I loved you, Y/n. I still do."

She looked back at him, the weight of his gaze and words pressing down on her made her laugh. "Gosh, I wanted you so bad... But, it's too late now, Lewis."

"Don't you ever wonder what could have been?" He asked, his voice teasingly sweet.

"I used to. I’m through with that, though." she admitted, her voice trembling. "He is my life now."

He reached out, taking her hands in his just as she turned to look at him again. "You don't have to settle for safety, Y/n. Not when you could have so much more. It's never too late, you know?!"

"I'm pregnant." She blurred out; her voice steady but not above a whisper.

Lewis froze, his eyes dropping to her belly. He blinked, processing her words.

"It's still early days." Her hand instinctively going to her still-flat stomach as she felt the need to explain herself, even after all this time.

He swallowed hard, the weight of her words sinking in. "I just... Make sure your happy, okay?! This kid needs you at your best."

"I know" she whispered, her voice breaking slightly as he turned from her and she understood the cue.

As she rejoined her husband, she felt as if a piece of her heart had been left behind in the shadows of that balcony.

Her husband’s eyes lit up. Relief and affection evident in his expression as his arms encircled her. He kissed her head tenderly from the side, his lips brushing her hair. "Are you both alright?" he asked softly.

She nodded, forcing a smile as she looked up at him. "Yeah, someone's perfume made me nauseous, just needed a little breather."

Her husband smiled warmly, and she leaned into his embrace, seeking comfort in the familiarity and security he offered.

As they stood together, surrounded by the opulence of the setting, she couldn't help but glance back at the balcony, where Lewis remained, a solitary figure against the backdrop of their shared memories, his eyes still locked on her as they would always be, as long as they kept bumping into each other.

______________________________________________________________

TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk @happy-golden-hour @vicurious28

@0710khj @thecubanator2 @neilakk @bigratbitchsworld @adriswrld

@fearfam69691 @cmleitora @goldenroutledge @timmychalametsstuff @jpgnsf @priopp123

If you’d like to be added to my taglist you can leave a comment or send me a dm/ask.

#f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 scenario #f1 x reader #lewis hamilton #lh #lh44 #lewis #lewis x reader #lewis imagine #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton one shot #lewis hamilton imagine #lh44 x reader #lh44 imagine #lewis hamilton x you

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smusherina · 2 months

Text

bridges burnt - chapter 5 [epilogue series] (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: When an invitation to Gretchen Wieners' wedding ended up in your mailbox, you'd been sure it was a mistake. Only, it read your name in neat, swoopy calligraphy. It was addressed to you. And Regina George, whom you hadn't spoken to in years.

additional clarification: This is set in the universe of yard work, a series of mine that can be found on my page! Reading this one might be a bit challenging without the context of the series :)

warning(s): weed mischief

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4

You were sitting at your table, chatting amicably with everyone, when Gretchen finally graced you with her presence. She was glowing, that much you could admit.

"Hey, guys!" She gave an energetic greeting. You smiled and waved.

"Oh em gee, Gretch!" Regina said as she stood up. She was considerably taller than the bride, with killer heels that gave some significant inches. They did air kisses on each cheek and cooed and squealed for a little.

"It's been so long! You're so rarely in town I wasn't sure you'd come!" Gretchen enthused. Her husband stood on the sidelines, looking quite put out but trying to hide it.

"Oh, you know I always make time for you," A blatant lie but you weren't going to say anything about it. "I'm so happy you've found love!"

"Me too," Gretchen gushed, snaring her boo-thang by the arm. He'd zoned out so startled a little but recovered quick with a dashing smile.

"Hi, I'm Michael." Of course, his name was Michael. What was next? Chad? Tucker?

"Regina. Regina George." Regina said, then turned to you. "And this is my partner."

You stood up and shook his hand, then said your name. "Nice to meet you. Congrats."

Michael nodded, smiling uncomfortably. He'd seemed sociable and open with the other guests so you didn't get why he was being all shy now.

"Thanks!" Gretchen chirped. Her eyes flitted between you and Regina. "Sorry if this is abrupt, but you two are still together?"

"We did go on a break right before college." Regina chose her words deliberately. "But after that, we just couldn't resist. True love just pulls you in, doesn't it?" She put her arm around your waist and pulled you to her. You stumbled a little, falling into her. Your arms came around her neck.

Gretchen looked quite unsettled by the close embrace. "It totally does." She said, tone falling flat.

"Mmh. Well, what plans have you got? Honeymoon?"

"Michael's been planning it for us," Gretchen said. That surprised you considering she was such a control freak. Perhaps you were wrong.

"There's no keeping secrets from her," Michael laughed. "Surprising her is too damn hard." His Southern twang was prominent. Something was charming about him, you supposed.

"I just want it to be right, Mike!" Gretchen teased, lightly hitting him on the shoulder. "I've been better haven't I? I let Deborah do the flower arrangements."

"Yes, dear," Michael said, looking down at Gretchen with real, genuine love in his eyes.

Seeing them interact, so sweet on one another, made you sad. First of all, because you were so similar. You were on the same level, people just the same as them. Looking at them like this, in just the context of the moment currently playing out, you didn't want to ruin their wedding.

But you had history. Gretchen had outed you to the school in junior year of high school. It'd had devastating effects on your life as a whole. Your father went from cold neglect to open disdain, you lost the jobs you were doing around the neighbourhood, your peers ostracised you. Those close to you, Regina mostly, got targeted rumours spread around and more negative attention than ever.

Gretchen was not the sole reason for your and Regina's break up but definitely one of them. You had settled to forgive and forget when you came back to town, to stay away and not say anything in a silent, mutual agreement. You buried the hatchet and thought she had, too.

You should've known better. Watching her make googly eyes at her husband as if the things she did had no bearing, no weight, infuriated you. She had ruined your life. Things had progressed since you were in high school and outing didn't have quite the same fallout, but what she did to Kylie was still unforgivable. There hadn't been that much progress. Gay marriage was still illegal in some states.

"Man, Gretchen, seeing you like this brings me back." You said, eyeing her. "Those sure were the days," You sighed and played wistful.

The bride and groom shared glances. Regina picked up what you were putting down and got involved.

"You'll be seeing just how much of a wildcat she is, Michael," Regina said, laying it on thick. "You have my number, Gretch, just give me a call if you wanna relive old times on your wedding night." She finished off with a saucy wink. You almost couldn't hold in your laughter.

"Toodles," Regina wiggled her fingers and took you by the arm, leading you away.

Once you were a safe distance away, you asked: "Wonder if they'll talk about that in private?"

"About Gretchen being involved, allegedly, in a lesbian threesome sandwich? I'd bet on it." Regina grinned.

You steered towards the exit to the parking lot where your car was. You had the kazoos and water pistols in the trunk. Maybe you spent a good fifteen minutes pinning Regina to the side of your flashy vintage—Betty the Catalina, you introduced—sucking the soul out of her through her mouth. Making out. Whatever, that was neither here nor there.

While Regina set out to find a gullible mother to deceive into giving out kazoos and water pistols, you called a guy. Rick was his name and he owed you a favour. He happened to be the owner of several karaoke bars. He'd hook you up.

"Yeah, anything will do, just needs to connect to the loudspeakers—uhh, pretty new I'd say, nothing too fancy but they didn't skimp out, that's for sure—yeah, yeah, I'll give you the address. Can he get here in an hour? Maybe less? I can pay his speeding tickets, no worries."

After making sure a karaoke machine would be delivered to the reception, you strutted back towards the building. On the way, you spotted three youths huddled in a non-descript spot by some shed. They were only visible from the parking lot. You knew what they were up to.

"Hey, kids," You sidled up to them, prompting the tallest of them to fumble with the joint he was trying to light. He had acne all over and residues of black eyeliner on his eyes. He had a strip of hair dyed stripey like a racoon tail. It was pretty cool, to be honest.

"H- hey," He stuttered, voice cracking as he swiped some hair from his eyes. Oh, to be young.

"You got weed?" You decided to be blunt. (Ha, blunt.) The two others were shaking like leaves in their tuxedos.

"No. I don't, like, even know what that is," The ring-leader crossed his arms defensively and leaned casually against the wall of the shed. Or, well, he was going for casual but looked extremely spooked.

"Well, that's a damn shame 'cause I was just looking to buy some." You said and reached into your breast pocket to pull out your wallet. You opened it and pulled out a couple of fifties. "I got all this cash to burn. But, hey, if you don't got any..."

"You'd pay that much for weed?" The boy eyed the bills hungrily.

"I'll be straight with you, kid-"

"I'm not a kid. I'm seventeen." He grumped. "Flint. Or Finnigan, I guess."

"Alright, Flint, I'm gonna put this bluntly. Your family sorta sucks." You looked at the other two. They were probably all cousins. Wouldn't tattle if Flint, the Cool One, told them not to. They didn't seem that much younger. As a responsible adult, you should've probably said something along the lines of 'don't smoke it's bad for you' but you were just glad they weren't shooting up or anything.

"Understatement of the century," He scoffed.

"Which side are you from, by the way?"

"The groom's." They all said in unison. That explained why you'd never seen most of these folk.

"I don't know much about him to be fair, but if he's shacking up with Gretchen I'm pretty sure they're equally sucky. Anyway, I'm trying to get everybody as fucked up as possible." You clarified, skirting around exactly what you were trying to do which was to ruin the wedding. Maybe these kids had better morals than you. "The bride sorta caused a rift between my girlfriend and I years back, outed me to the whole school, it was a scandal, we broke up and I spiralled. It was bad and I want revenge."

"She outed you? Like..." Flint looked around, looking scared someone was gonna hear. Nobody else was around. "Like you're gay?"

"I'm here with my girlfriend today." You said, smiling dopeyly. Your cheeks hurt. "I think we're back together. It's complicated. So, you wanna sell?"

"Hell yeah," He grinned, teeth crooked to the ninth degree. "Can we get in on it? Michael totally sucks, he orders us around like we're his minions or something."

The other two nodded along empathetically. They all had the same boxy, swoopy haircut that kept falling into their eyes. What luck that ran into the angsty teens of the clan.

"I don't know how much you'll be able to do without getting in trouble with your parents. Gotta be at least a little subtle."

Flint dug into his backpack and pulled out a plastic tupperware. There were some decent-looking nugs in there from what you could see through the frosted plastic. You handed over the cash.

"Pleasure doing business with you." You contemplated for a moment. "Any chance you could pull the fire alarm for the cake-cutting?"

The three matching evil grins were enough of an answer for you. Their little emo faces made your chest feel warm. You wanted to take them under your wing, or something.

"By the way, weed is fine. It's not great, I don't recommend it, but if you're gonna do drugs then this is best case scenario." You shook the plastic case in your hand. "Never do hard drugs. It's gonna make your hair fall out and teeth hurt like a bitch."

You left the three teenagers to smoke their blunt, knowing that your little shpiel probably went through one ear and out the other. You hoped they pulled through but if they didn't, you were planning on doing enough wicked shit that the sprinklers triggering would just be a cherry on top.

You found Janis smoking a cigarette at the same spot you'd been at earlier.

"You got a grinder?"

You opened the lid of the box, blasting the air with the potent smell of cannabis.

"Where the fuck did you get all that?" She asked as she reached into her purse.

"Not important. What is, though, is how we'll get the guests high."

Janis, the bright mind that she was, immediately got to work. You didn't even bother asking what she was up to when she crouched on the floor and began grinding away. She had fast hands, you observed, with how quick and clean she was rolling several blunts. Now that you saw clearly into the tupperware, lord almighty Flint had a lot of kush.

"What's the plan?" You asked after a moment, holding the box in one hand and blunts in the other. You stubbornly ignored the compulsion to stick one between your lips and light up. That was over for you.

"Find a Helen, a Beatrice, and or a Leigh-Anne, and convince them this is a miracle herb harvested from the government-protected, top-secret alpine springs of Florida, known for reversing wrinkles, repairing hymens, and with long-term use reducing hair growth neck down. It might even accelerate or delay menopause, depending on whose asking."

"Florida is the flattest state in the continental USA." You pointed out.

"Exactly." Janis didn't spare you a glance, just kept on rolling.

"So we're spinning a multilevel-marketing scheme on these people."

"Not really." Janis paused and turned to you. "We're just scamming them. Not even with money, with the devil's lettuce."

"That's arguably worse. I think this might be a felony."

"Oh, it definitely is."

Notes: The ball is rolling! At last! It only took five chapters good golly god.

Taglist posted seperately! If you want on it, comment so on that post!

#mean girls #mean girls 2004 #mean girls 2024 #regina george #regina george x reader #regina george x you #regina george x oc #regina george x ofc #lesbian regina george #mean girls fanfic #fic: bridges burnt

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astrumark · 2 years

Text

── SHE WAS LOVIN' ME, SHE WAS WANTIN' ME ★.

PAIRING: aemond targaryen x female reader.

SUMMARY: aemond is not accustomed to getting attention and you give him just that.

WARNINGS: one curse word, sexual implications, heavy make-out session, flirting.

WC: 2.9K

NOTES: i haven't written anything in two years so i'm very rusty, sorry. also english is not my native language.

Aemond has always been prideful, although this characteristic was often hidden under the circumstances of his life. But he was aware, and enjoyed a bit too much, all of his privileges as a prince, even being arrogant about it. His pride was a bit shaken when he didn't claim a dragon in his early childhood, a dragon meant a lot not only for a Targaryen but especially a male Targaryen, a symbol of their manhood. He felt more unworthy than other men in his family. When he finally claimed Vhagar, he lost his eye, an essential part of his body, and yet again, his entitlement faltered. When it was rather obvious that Aegon would become king one day, and how unfit for the role he was, Aemond was faced with the second son's burden and jealousy. Aemond was prideful, however, he never felt whole.

He was resentful because he could've had so much more. He'd sometimes dream about having the largest dragon alive, both of his eyes, and an Iron Throne to claim for himself. But reality would strike him once again and he would bury all of his anger, frustration, and envy deep in his heart and present only his well-built facet to others. Aemond felt so at fault he turned into a perfectionist. He needed to be the perfect pupil, the perfect warrior, the perfect son, brother, and one day, husband and father. To be respected, and to be feared. But no matter how much he succeed in his duties, he was never satisfied. Aemond's pride was wounded and he craved validation, even if he didn't admit it.

So yes, Aemond absolutely loved your attention.

When you first arrived at the Red Keep, your father a new member of the small council, Aemond believed your constant stare was due to your fear and disgust towards him, just as the other ladies. However, as moons went by, Aemond noticed there was something slightly different in your eyes, curiosity, perhaps? He felt your gaze on him constantly and decided to ignore it. But it certainly made him unease, such sudden interest. You even attended his training on certain afternoons, and he knew you couldn't mean anything good, which irritated him as well.

You, on the contrary, were enchanted with the prince the second you laid eyes on him. While reading a romance book, you believed that a person couldn't knock another's air out of their lungs upon a mere sight, but that's what happened. The air around you became thick and a soft gasp escaped your lips. He was the most handsome man you have ever encountered. You tried to pick on things you didn't like about him, and you found none. His tall and slim body, the typical leather attire, soft-looking silver hair, mesmerizing violet eye, and a, in your opinion, charming eyepatch. His face, you could have never imagined it in your head, unusual characteristics one would never think could end up looking so good when paired together. He was sharp but pretty, unique. Reminding you of a sculpture, to be appreciated, but better avoid touching it to not deteriorate the work.

Once knowing you would move to the Red Keep, Aemond was undoubtedly the royal you were most keen to meet in person. The mighty rider of Vhagar, such a legendary dragon. When you heard the story about the night he claimed her, you were standing on tiptoes. I may have lost an eye, but I gained a dragon, he supposedly said. Only a child, you admired the boy, and that admiration didn't go away as more gossip about the one-eyed would reach your ears throughout the years, how he'd become a highly educated man and one of the finest warriors in all of Westeros, how he was collected and intimidating. Your expectations were high already, and he managed to surpass them. Even when Aemond demonstrated little interest in you or your acquaintance, you could not help but drool over him. His looks, his attitude, his voice. So delightful.

It was Helaena's name day and Queen Alicent decided to throw a banquet in celebration. The great hall was loud due to conversations and the music, not many lords had been invited, to not overwhelm Princess Helaena, who preferred calmer ambiances, nonetheless, the castle was a lot more full than usual. You poured more wine to yourself, stomach already full, half engaged in the conversation with other ladies, half watching Aemond, further on the table, across his brother. Lost in your trance, you didn't connect the voices to names, but you listened to them.

"I must confess I find Prince Aegon dashingly handsome. Princess Helaena's a lucky woman."

Giggles.

"Indeed, a shame he lacks morals."

"He's truly attractive, the whores and servants that earn his attention have nothing to complain about."

"Do you think if Prince Aemond still had his other eye, he could compare?"

"Not at all, he's simply strange looking."

You scoffed. "He's very handsome. Aegon is the one who could never compare to him, even lacking an eye."

One of the ladies smirked. "You are the only one who favors Aemond, I wonder why?"

"Perhaps I just have a better taste."

There was a sound of disapproval among the inner circle you found yourself in, and you sighed, drinking more of your wine.

"There's just something about him, a fire, an unpredictability. He looks calm, yet he seems as if he could explode at any moment, doesn't he?" You pondered, looking at him again. "Seven, he rides the largest dragon alive, is that not alluring enough?"

"Careful what you say out loud, dear Y/N, if the Septa finds out where your thoughts are wandering, she will not be pleased." Lady Vivien teased and the others burst out laughing. You rolled your eyes.

Aemond was bored out of his mind, but he forced himself to stay for his sister. He watched the feast impassive, speaking only when needed and fidgeting with his cup of wine. When Helaena left to gather with a group of young ladies, where you stood, and his mom seemed too engrossed in conversation with her friends, the young prince contemplated leaving, certain his presence was no longer a necessity. That was when Aegon opened his mouth.

"Do you think it makes her look stupid? Because I do," He drank from his cup. "But stupidly sensual."

"What do you speak of?" Aemond's tone was both tedious and exasperated.

"Lady Y/N, obviously, longingly staring at you," Aegon scoffed. "If she looked at me with those eyes, I tell you, brother, there wouldn't be much left of her afterward. Basically begging you to fuck her senseless."

Aemond would never say it out loud, but his heart skipped a beat at his brother's words. A thought that never once crossed his mind, because, surely, that couldn't be possible, not someone like you. But it made sense, yes. What he could never quite read in your eyes... was it lust? Pride filled his chest with the idea, the knowledge that you may desire him.

For the first time, when he felt your eyes on him, he locked his one with yours, watching you intently, now with the same interested gaze you held, confidently analyzing your face and reaction. When your lips turned into a shy yet flirtatious smile, only to shamefully avert your eyes right after, playing with your hair and pretending to focus on the conversation around you, he knew it. Your actions were not uncommon to him, he had seen them many times but directed at Aegon, and even his younger brother, Daeron, but never him. Gods, was it pleasant. He couldn't fight the smirk off his face as he sipped on his wine, an ego boost much needed.

You have noticed the shift in Aemond's behavior towards you after that night, it was impossible not to. How he started to return your stares and smirks and acknowledge your presence with words rather than a nod, sometimes even engaging in small conversations, asking about you and your interests. Each interaction lets you with a foolish smile and a racing heart.

Managing to convince Helaena to ditch the Septa's lessons for one afternoon, you found yourself in the Dragonpit since the princess decided she desired to fly. Although there hadn't much to do whilst you waited for her return, you didn't mind in the slightest. The structure, so big and magnificent, had always amazed you, the dragon's power distinguishable in the air. And for that, you were more than thrilled to visit Rhaenys's Hill every time someone suggested it. After chatting a bit with Helaena's sworn knight, you started wandering around, lost in thought.

Your body trembled upon hearing the most loud and rasping squeak, followed by harsh flaps of wings, and you lifted your head up. You already knew who it was, no other dragon compares to her. And if carefully inspected, one could easily understand each dragon's personality and mannerisms. You rushed outside, although still hiding behind one of the huge pillars at the entrance of the Dragonpit.

Vhagar landed on the ground with a loud thud, and it was as if the sand was shaking beneath your feet. You gawked at the creature. You had already seen her, but never this close. Although stunning, Vhagar also seemed unnatural, her colossal form not settling right in the ambiance. No living or dead being should be this big. You gulped nervously, she was otherworldly, for sure.

You listened to Aemond talking with a few dragonkeepers in High Valyrian, you had studied the language for a while, but you were not fluent, especially when spoken so fast. With difficulty, you managed to understand that the prince had asked for food. Aemond petted Vhagar whilst a few workers scattered away, surprisingly, they came back not much long after, guiding two living cows and a sheep.

You were fascinated and horrified as you watched Vhagar burn one of the cows, feasting in its carbonized meat and bones. You tore your gaze from what was left of the poor animal, instead focusing on Vhagar's appearance, memorizing it, her bronze scales and big green eyes, ridiculously sharp and deadly teeth, and visible scars of ancient battles all over her body. You couldn't help but recall all of the tales, so entertained by the beast, you didn't even notice the presence of the young prince behind you.

"I must admit my utter surprise, Lady Y/N. I was not expecting such a lovely presence in here." The voice startled you and a gasp escaped your lips as your body turned around.

"Prince Aemond," You said curtsying slightly, your head also lowered in embarrassment with the flattery, and you tried to fight the satisfied smile that threatened to break in the corner of your lips. "It seems your sister also found it fit to fly this afternoon. I came as a companion."

Aemond hummed, making butterflies arise in your stomach. "The weather is nice."

"Indeed." Your body turned to Vhagar again as the she-dragon now incinerated the sheep, a burning smell invading your nostrils once more.

"You like her." It was a statement, not a question.

"She is legendary, my Prince."

"That she is."

"Isn't it hard to believe she is one of the dragons that conquered Westeros all those years ago? And still stands before us? A living piece of history itself," You rambled, watching how they brought the other cow forward. "Ancient, powerful, magic. A fragment of the Old Valyria."

Aemond stood even taller, as if it was possible, filled with pride of his dragon, a smirk plastered on his face.

"She has seen so much, more than half of the people she has known is dead for quite some time now," You continued. "Have you heard about how the wild dragon Cannibal might be even older than Vhagar? It is absurd. Amazing creatures." Your gaze returned to Aemond.

He was already looking at you, listening to your words attentively, amusement clear behind his eye.

"Well, seeing as you admire her that much, I might take you for a ride," Aemond said. "Then, you will be able to see her full glory."

You chuckled wryly, looking back at Vhagar very briefly, before laying your full attention on the prince. "I suppose there are more shameful ways of dying than falling off a dragon." You jested.

"I would not let you fall," He paused, eye surveying your body up and down. "I'd hold onto you tight." You didn't miss the flirtatious tone.

You smirked, heart pounding loudly and feeling all hot. You stared at him, absolutely entranced by his handsome face, before entering his game.

"I don't know what would be more pleasant," You took a step closer to him, whispering in seduction. "Riding the mightiest dragon alive or being pressed against you."

Your stomach tingled as Aemond's eye darkened with lust. It was something you have noticed upon admiring him for so long, that, although his body and face remained often stoic, his eye didn't really lack emotion, and through it, you should be able to read his mood.

"It would pain me not to clear your doubts, pet." His hand brushed a strand of your hair and tucked it behind your ear, making the distance between you even smaller, and your breath hitched.

"We wouldn't want that." You whispered, stepping back, only to feel the coolness of the pillar, Aemond followed you like a predator, your chests pressed.

"No, we wouldn't." His long index finger caressed your jaw, the feather-like touch making you flutter your eyes shut as the hair on the nape of your neck stirred up. "So beautiful." He whispered, now cupping your cheeks in both hands and bringing your face closer to his.

You knew you should pull away, that you were in a public space, that although hidden behind the pillar, and not seen from the front, anyone that decided to enter or leave the building, could catch you in the most inappropriate way possible with the prince. You'd be forever ruined in court and your chances of a good marriage would disappear, your parents would rightfully so doom you, because how does one even explain this situation? But you couldn't.

All you could possibly think about was Aemond, the warmth of his body, and how good it felt, his breath mingling with yours, the texture of the leather beneath your fingers as you held his waist, his scent, of dragon, but something else as well, more citric and fresh you could only guess as his bathing oils and the absolute desire in his eye. No, you couldn't pull away and you wouldn't. You would risk everything to have the littlest taste of him. Aemond smirked, nose brushing yours, and then, he kissed you.

Aemond kissed you, and you could swear you floated, all of your other senses went numb, and you could only feel his warm and soft lips on yours. You sighed in contentment, and you moved your lips against his tentatively, a hot and pleasant sensation taking over your lower belly. You gladly let him deepen the kiss, and not even if you tried you could have prevented your soft moan from slipping out of you. You met him at his pace, not slow or fast, just right, the two of you getting to know and exploring the other. Growing confident, one of your hands moved to his strong jaw, stroking it gently as you had only dreamed of, Aemond groaned in pleasure, tightening his grip on you. And you continued to kiss him, eager and tenderly, somewhere in your mind, fearing that you were showing him how much you appreciated him, how much you wished for this, longed for this, longed for him.

Aemond noticed, of course he did, and it made him feel so good. You needed him, and Aemond enjoyed being needed. His hands slided down your body, caressing and squeezing your ass as he swallowed down your moan with his lips fervently devouring your own, his hands traveled through your hips and waist, going to the swell of your breasts and gripping on it, your surprised whimper making his cock throb. Aemond's lips moved to your jaw and exposed neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses and slight biting. You pulled at his hair, bringing his face to yours again, and he could only stare at you.

Because there, panting and with swollen lips, after letting him kiss and palm you in such a dangerous place, looking at him with a look that Aemond could only identify as pure adoration, he knew he'd got you in the palm of his hands, at his complete mercy, a sheep in a dragon's claw, and that you were his. He smiled wickedly, mine, he thought, heart swelling in pride. He locked your lips with his again, but in a peck. You were blissful.

"Come," He took your hand, subtly leading you inside, towards one of the many uninhabited tunnels.

And in the dark of the cave, away from any possible prying eyes, you kissed again, for several minutes or even more, heatedly and curiously, hands excited to feel as much of the other's body as possible. You bit, sucked, and licked one another. And even if just for that brief moment, Aemond felt whole. Nothing was pledging his mind as you deluged him with so much affection he could've drowned in it, all he cared about was the feeling of your delicate lips on his, your soft skin, your addicting taste and smell, and your loveliest moans that sounded like music to his ears. Aemond had bewitched you long ago, but unknowingly to the prince, you had just bewitched him as well. You needed him, and he'd willingly oblige to your wishes.

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