#because the words 'lesbian' 'gay' and 'trans' have all also been slurs

[not-poignant]

Your post about queer history really resonated with me. As someone who identifies as queer but also aspec and cis, it's sometimes hard to feel like I have the right to use that identifier. I've seen a lot of "queer spaces aren't for cis people" rhetoric or aspec/bi/pan erasure around me and it's really nice to see a post that calls that out. Thank you for sharing!

'Queer spaces aren't for cis people' is honestly one of the stupidest things I've ever heard, because most gay and lesbian folk fit into that category (most gay folk are cis, most lesbian folk are cis).

So to use the word 'queer' to rule out like generally the bulk of the statistical proportion of like actual queer people is like meeting a species of fish that has decided to talk and purposely misuse words, like, it literally makes no sense.

Whoever is sharing those messages literally understands nothing about queer culture, what it means, or dare I say it, even what the word cis means. There are plenty of cis people under the queer umbrella, it's not a word only trans people own, for example.

There's definitely still a lot of ace/bi/pan erasure, and there sadly always has been (along with nonbinary erasure and so on), though in some ways, and in some circles, it's getting better. But it only gets better through vigilance, education and compassion, and a big part of all of that is making sure everyone understands queer history in the first place, because our queer ancestors - the ones who laid a path so we could write like this without being afraid for our lives (for the most part) - didn't fight so hard for us to just ignore everything they did for us.

But my god, 'queer spaces aren't for cis people' made me laugh, that would automatically eliminate almost a huge chunk of the LGB part of the LGBT~ acronym, and I can't with how mind-numbingly off base that is. Like, toss those fish back in the ocean, anon, or turn them into fish fingers. The only version I've heard is tbh the radfem version that trans people don't belong - and I've certainly seen groups eliminate the T in 'LGB' - you can sadly find those sorts of radfem groups on Facebook. But again, a total waste of time.

I am always here to call that stuff out, and you're welcome to go back through my queer culture tag for similar posts!

[genderkoolaid]

Tranny. Many people don’t know the history of the word, they assume it was an assigned hate term or slur along the lines of the “n” word. That’s not how it happened. Tranny was invented by us in Sydney, Australia in the 1970s where drag was a big deal, and still the best drag shows ever are in Sydney, Australia – they’re amazing. So a lot of trans-identified women who were assigned male at birth did drag, that’s how you made your living. And so they were transsexuals, transvestites, drag queens, and they were all doing drag to make money. They all bickered amongst each other who is better than who, “Well the drag queens are better,” “No, the transsexuals are better.” “You are all freaks, we’re better.” And on and on and on. But they worked together and they were family together, so they came up with a word that would say family and that was tranny. In Australia they do the diminutive, that’s how they come up with words. So tranny. I learned the word in the mid-1980s, late 1980s from my drag mom in San Francisco, Doris Fish, who was the city’s preeminent drag queen and she’d come from Sydney. And she schooled me in this word tranny, she said, “This way it means we’re family, darling.” “Thank you mama.” [...] So we used it and we were trannies together. And F to M was just beginning to start, the trans men were just beginning to become visible, Lou Sullivan was a neighbor of mine around the corner, and he was the first big out trans man, wrote his book. So trans men and cross dressers . . . cross dressers were also family. Transsexuals, we were all trannies and that felt good. That got into the sex industry and became a genre – there was tranny porn, there were tranny sex workers – chicks with dicks, she-males. [...] And, my only guess is that people who . . . because the only way they would have found out about the word is if they were watching tranny porn or having been with a tranny sex worker and then hated themselves so much that they turned it into a curse word. So it’s not really technically correct to say we’re reclaiming a word – it was always ours. So, many people mistake the word for the hatred behind the word and, in my generation, and I’m sure in future generations of trans people, tranny is going to be a radicalized, sexualized identity of trans in the same way that faggot is a prideful identity in the gay male community – not all gay men are faggots, but those who are are proudly fags and those who are dykes are proudly dykes within the lesbian community, trannies are proudly tranny within the transgender community. Does that mean we can’t call ourselves that because some trans woman does not want to be called a tranny? No. I’m going to keep calling myself a tranny. To the trans woman who gets called tranny, I’m sorry – as soon as . . . you’ve got to look at why you’re getting called tranny and if you don’t pass, you’re going to be read as a transgender person and then you fall back on the cultural view of trans folk which is freak, disgusting, not worth living, we can hurt you. It has nothing to do with the word, it has everything to do with the cultural attitude. So the word has stirred up a shit storm, but it’s not the word.

— Kate Bornstein on the word "tranny" in this oral history from the Digital Transgender Archive

[vaspider]

Hi! I’m in my early 20’s and a baby gay and i was wondering if you could help me understand the nuances of a particular issue (or point me towards recourses to find some answers). I’ve heard that as an afab enby i shouldn’t be using the f slur because historically it has been used to attack/demean gay men, but i’ve also seen (mostly on tumblr) a push by the queer community to reclaim the word by any queer identity. I want to be inclusive and intersectional and not insult people to the best of my ability so my question is: can i participate in the reclamation of the f slur or should i leave this word to queer men? (I’m also not clear on wether it’s just cis men, includes trans men/amab folks, etc). You don’t have to answer but thanks for your time regardless!

You can do whatever you want forever.

Seriously, though - whoever is telling you that you can't reclaim a particular slur because that doesn't get used against people like you should come review my history sometime. I've had faggot yelled at me (often out of moving cars or in connection with physical abuse) more times than I can count. They need to talk to Hannah Gadsby, who talks in Nanette about a man who pushed her, thinking she was a faggot and then found out she was a woman, realized she was a "lady faggot" and thus outside his definition of woman and able to be beaten up... so he did.

That kind of "I have decided that people like you haven't been hurt by this so you can't touch this word" cop nonsense is genuinely harmful. We need to bring back the 90s energy of "it takes all of us to take the sting out of a word" where gay men showed up to lesbian marches with "fags for dykes" signs.

This infighting over terms is fucking cop garbage meant to divide us. It's bullshit. If you find strength in calling yourself a fag, a dykefag, a fagdyke, a ladyfag, a girl homo, a lesbo, whatever the fuck, it doesn't fucking matter.

This "no one uses that against people like you" bullshit is just that. Ignore it freely, because it's utter nonsense on many many levels.

[moonisneveralone]

I'm not trusting y'all again. I got my beef with Kendrick. He's a good artist, but he's still got some hotep tendencies that I can never really accept. HOWEVER. Y'all really had me believing Auntie Diaries was this embarassing no go, when it really wasn't.

I can totally accept that it's jarring. It is. It's like most black people are tired of seeing black people suffer on screen right? I distrust most of these movies, but once in a blue moon you will get a Moonlight or a Get Out. For people who staunchly dislike black suffering on screen (because of real life obviously) it will still be a jarring and uncomfortable watch, but both movies are amazing and well done. They nail their subject matter.

And so did Kendrick. Auntie Diaries is not a song for trans people in that sense. It is pro trans, but again it is not there to meet trans people where they are (ahead of us cis people). Which is why I'm not trying to speak over trans people or telling them they have to like it. It is about meeting cis people where they are. And arguably black religious cis people.

It is also about Kendricks own journey to understanding his family members who have transitioned and how his behaviour harmed his relationship with his family members. Yes he uses slurs, but critically towards the end of the song he stops doing that and censores the slur as "F-Bomb". Because the song is supposed to symbolize his learning curve. He also turns it around and says we can all use it together, but only if we say using the n-word is okay. Something that he has experienced himself. At one of his shows he asked a white fan to not use it and gave her the mic she then proceeded to censor it once and then say it thought the verse.

The end of the song is him saying he chose humanity over his religion. He wants to love his family and that he also wants to stop being a hypocrite.

My personal assesment of him is that he is a hypocrite. But humams contain multitudes right?

He just really isn't a hypocrite about this.

But I also just followed whatever the hell people on here were saying and never confirmed shit for myself so who am I to judge?

Again I'm not saying he deserves flowers for this. Even though I'm very sure this could have been and interesting conversation to have. I also think anti blackness and maybe just a valid general distrust of cis straight men (and to white people the fact that he's black) played into this incredibly uncharitable reading of this song.

And I guess today I'm extra mad about it, because I saw someone come for Megan the Stallion about her not actually being bisexual. How is openly dating a woman as a famous person the standard? How many lesbians who are famous only really go out with their partners when it's long term? How many famous white lesbians can you name that are out in town with women they aren't married to? Yeah, do you think that it might be because the scrutiny is draining and scary? Do they need to show up with a girl so you can tick it off in your little who's really gay box?

I really can't help but feel white LGBTQ+ people don't want us to be a part of the conversation at all. And if we are a part of it it has to be in a demure and simple way. There is no room for complexity or to bring up issues. Truely in a glitzy glam respectability era.

Also stop acting like y'all grew up super unproblematic. I know some of y'all were straight up acting like demons because y'all couldn't accept yourself. If we can hold space for that complicated journey why not for a man who struggled to understand and accept his family members, because of all the conflicting messaging he was getting, but then found his way to love them and put them above his religion?

[genderstarbucks]

" Usually I ignore hate like this but this is so fucking funny to me

Nowhere in my bio does it say I'm a woman you dumbass LMFAO, it says I'm female, which is different than a woman

Saying I'm just gay and trans does not explain the entirety of my experience, I can use whatever fucking labels I want to describe myself whether you like it or not you wet sock

"That's not real it's made up", yeah all words are you fucking idiot

The fact that you would stone people based on an identity that literally doesn't affect your tiny brain at all says a lot about you

YOU'RE the one who's disrespecting the trans people who have died to transphobia by caring so much about the fact that this is how I experience my transness

I think they'd be proud of the fact that me and so many others are reclaiming slurs that have been used against us

Have you ever even heard of cistrans people? Probably not considering your brain implodes at the thought of male lesbians

Also where the fuck are the "fetishes" in my bio you're speaking of? Those are just my dating preferences fuckface, what? Are you mad that you don't fit those preferences? You're just mad you can't be with me because I'm so great

You are actually so fucking stupid it's funny, you think I actually care about your opinion?

Mspec gays, lesbians and straights will and have always existed, no matter what your tiny brain thinks

Lesboys and turigirls still exist too you idiot

Oh boo hoo a butch lesbian is calling themselves a lesboy, and you're getting offended over that? That's really fucking pathetic

Gay and trans people died for my and other weird queer people's rights, and the rights for us to identify however we want

R you rlly gonna support xenogenders but not other niche queer identities? Stupid ass

Nobody ever said all lesbians like men or that lesbians have to like men, lesbians only like men if they're attracted to men while also calling themselves a lesbian you dumbass

Irl literally nobody cares if you identify as an mspec gay or lesboy, it's people like you who keep pulling this stupid discourse back up WHEN LITERALLY NOBODY CARES

It's not affecting you assfuck

I'm pro stoning people who are like you, specifically with big boulders "

" Have you ever even heard of cistrans people? Probably not considering your brain implodes at the thought of male lesbians " neither of those exist take your meds,

"R you rlly gonna support xenogenders but not other niche queer identities? Stupid ass" yeah lol :3

" Nobody ever said all lesbians like men or that lesbians have to like men, lesbians only like men if they're attracted to men while also calling themselves a lesbian you dumbass" so theyre not lesbian got it ^_^

" It's not affecting you assfuck " have you ever thought about maybe the ideology that lesbians can like men is literally what gets most of them raped

anyway all the swearing from ur post makes me giggle bc youre actually so mad, maybe ask mommy to change your diaper or something

" Also where the fuck are the "fetishes" in my bio you're speaking of? Those are just my dating preferences fuckface, what? Are you mad that you don't fit those preferences? You're just mad you can't be with me because I'm so great " im actually so happy i dont fit those bc i dont date 500lbs people LMAOO maybe try listening to other people than your divorced mom who got beaten by all her past partners who says "youre so beautiful" because all shes doing is lying to you, it would b better for you to know now that ur double chin aint doing any good for you. you just gotta know youre really below average before someone tells you and you end up killing yourself over it

" Saying I'm just gay and trans does not explain the entirety of my experience, I can use whatever fucking labels I want to describe myself whether you like it or not you wet sock " how about you use the labels the term "delusional, obese, and extremely ugly"

I literally do not care

[indecisiveenby]

~~Rant~~

I hate the argument about how queer is a slur and an off-limits word/label. because like it's the only label I've found that really truly resonates with me. I'd been trying to find something that fit right for about three years when I started using queer.

first I was bisexual, bc I was very new to queerness, in the sense that I knew about binary trans people, gay men, and lesbians, and that was like it. and my close friend had just come out to me as bi, and I was like "holy shit, there's a word for being into both genders? that's allowed??" something deep in my being snapped, and it was like I could see the world correctly for the first time. bc this was how I had felt my whole life. I was crushing on girls and either suppressing it or mistaking it for a platonic love. and I was making up extra crushes on boys, to overcompensate.

so then I dove deep into queer culture and learned about all these orientations, but also found out about the gender spectrum and fluidity. so here was this huge gender thing crashing down on me with the realization that "wait, I can be feminine, but I don't have to be a girl? and I can embrace my masculinity without being a boy?" and I was a little in denial for a bit and said I was gender fluid bc I think I was too nervous to admit that large of a change to myself, that I wasn't what I had thought I'd been my whole life, so I decided to just pretend I was a little bit that. (THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT ACTUAL GENDERFLUID PEOPLE ARE IN DENIAL ABOUT THEIR GENDER. THIS IS JUST WHAT I DID. ILY GENDERFLUID PEOPLE, YOU'RE COMPLETELY VALID <3)

and this gender thing took for-fucking-ever to figure out, but I'm settled on transmasc nonbinary. so where did that leave me for orientation? I kept thinking things like "maybe I'm a lesbian. idk if I like guys all that much," or "well actually idk if I like girls," or "what if I don't like anyone. I think I'm aroace." and eventually I said omnisexual/romantic, but I was still thinking these things.

because here's my deal: if I find myself attracted to a girl, I'm like "this is a gay ass feeling." and if I find myself attracted to a boy, I'm like "feeling real fruity rn." and any other gender, I just feel gay if I am attracted to someone. never do I look at someone and think "wow I wanna spend so fucking much non platonic time with you in a fully heterosexual manner."

at the same time, I often think about all those crushes I made up, and the way that I go so so long without having a crush and how I am content with not having a romantic relationship and how my past romantic partners never clicked right. and I think "perhaps I really am arospec."

and I think of how I've never been sexually attracted to someone, with like two exceptions ever, and those two people were people I knew very well. and how the idea of having sex seems like something I could participate in, but only probably for someone else's sake, not something I'd initiate. I think of how sometimes I feel like I never ever want to have sex ever bc I just don't want someone to touch me like that, or to touch someone else like that. I think of how sometimes I actually am really into the idea of sex, hypothetically. and I think "is there a spot on the ace spectrum for that?"

and so I look at all of this and I am faced with the question: "how the hell do you put all of that under a label?"

there are two answers here; 1. I don't, and I go unlabeled. I hate this answer. my autism loves to sort and label things. (of course there's an exception for other people. if someone else is unlabeled I'm not gonna say "actually you're this." this only applies to myself and my own things) 2.

Queer !!!

queer is the only label that can encompass all of that, for me. obviously, I could use a bunch of microlabels, and I love microlabels, really, I just would probably lose track of everything quickly.

so yeah, I have a huge fucking issue with people saying that I am not allowed to use the only label that's ever felt like a home to me, the only label that's ever fully covered everything that I am and everything that I feel.

if you don't want to be called queer, good, I won't call you that. but I will not stop calling myself queer. if you have a problem with that, then like actually fuck you

[sammy--moh]

A random ramble about my identity, modern queer community and queer history bc I'm hyperfixated

(I don't want slur discourse under my post. I reclaim words that have been directly used to oppress me only and only towards myself, that's where the conversation ends)

(Cis/Hets don't touch this post

Terfs especially don't even look at this post

Anti kink fuckers don't look at this post, kink and LGBT are separate things but you cannot untangle kink history from queer/LGBT history

If your against the use of the word queer, don't clown on this post

Queer cis people are free to interact and add their opinions but don't clown on this post

Trans people and queer punks and activists please interact <3

Any corrections are welcomed as long as their constructive)

So you could probably find a few posts of me talking about some of my more modern and neo/xeno identity labels, its something I'm fairly proud of I'm a neo pronoun user and have been out as a nonbinary man for a long time

But I don't think I talk about my more, I guess classical and older queer labels and that feels disingenuous because I do still love queer history and have a lot of what would be considered ""outdated"" identieies

Yeah I'm a neo user and have some xeno gender labels, and I'm T4T which as far as I know is a label thats been around a long time but its still common and normally used today

But im also just a gender nonconformist(sometimes i use and reclaim the words transexual and transvestite just to piss off cis people who say i cant), i unapolgetically reclaim the word f4g, im in the leather community, I'm a fem man, im a cub, all things that have been around maybe since the 60s - 70s that I/still/ find connection to, comfort and community in

I mean hell I usually consider myself to currently be in a masc 4 fem relationship which you'd probably never guess by just looking at me

Which is another thing! Why is it always assumed that cubs and bears are the mascs?? I think I have more traditionally feminine clothing and presentation then most of my twink friends, I am a big, fat, extroverted, hairy cub and I am still the fem in one of my relationships and very feminine and fem presenting in general

Obviously masc 4 fem is not the only kind of mlm and wlm relationship that's stupid sndnd and expecting it is heteronormative, some people are masc 4 masc,fem 4 fem, heck not everyone /likes/ traditional masc fem labels and that's awesome!

Another thing I don't see a lot of people talk about is the fact that the bear and cub community is objectively a body positivity movement, that's what it started as that's what it always will be

Bear culture was a reaction to the beauty standards of gay culture at the time, when the ideal in gay relationships were young, thin, conventionally attractive gay and bi/multisexual men

Bear culture was specifically made to appreciate, lift up, and love large, hairy,sometimes older gay and bi/multsexual men and cub culture branched off from bears

I'm gonna be honest, I am recovering from a few body image issues and disorders that I wont go in depth on, and bear + cub culture has helped me to love myself and my body and find myself attractive more than any other body positivity space! Not to say other body positvity spaces arent important and needed, but that as a queer trans man this one has been the space I felt the most welcomed in

I wish there were a few expectations we could leave behind, like the idea that bears and cubs only date other bears and cubs, that terms like bear, twink, otter, leather gay, ect are gay exclusive and not just mlm and nwlnw terms, that fem and masc culture are gay and lesbian exclusive (dont come at me there are several moments in history we see these terms used by bi and generally queer men and that show masc and fem culture in bi and generally queer spaces)

I wish I could find more people like me in history, trans men who weren't masc, transmen and transmascs that were unapologetically feminine, I want to find transman queens in history, trans gay and mlm men, it's hard to find.. but I'm almost positive there has to be at least some people like me in queer history

But in general there's so much we can learn and keep from older queer culture that I feel has been lost a lot with younger generations

I love modern queer culture and neo/xeno labels and communities ans MOGAI and the breakdown of gender norms and sexual expectations

But im also unapolgetically a fem, leather loving, kinkster, trans fucking, fat cub, cross dressing faggot

All of these things are me

You cannot untangle or separate these identieies and labels from /me/

There are riots and loss in my history, and there is raw, unapolgetic queer beauty as well. there is pride in my veins, and fight in my lungs, and I wouldn't trade any of it for shit

[orc-apologist]

if i have to read one more ounce of slur discourse i'm gonna fucking lose it.

they're WORDS not weapons, first of all. y'all ascribe WAY too much power to words. they're not the source of our oppression, banning them from language except for a minority won't solve our oppression.

not to mention that policing language has VERY EVIDENTLY not accomplished anything over the past couple decades. in fact, i would argue that language policing has been turned against us and used as a tool to oppress us. by that i mean that it is actively used to stir up ridiculous culture wars about "can't say anything anymore" in bourgeois media like Fox News

there is a reason queer people especially have historically always taken a different route, reclamation. that is to say GENERAL reclamation, instead of that weird mix of reclamation and language policing that is common nowadays.

that reason is that reclamation is much more effective at stripping a word of its power, especially of its power over you. banning it, shunning the use of it and all who do instead INCREASES the word's power because it tabooifies it. that taboo will make its impact more intense.

limited reclamation forces us to draw lines between us. it divides lesbians and gays (which is an especially dumb ones considering lesbians also get called faggots), cis queers and trans queers etc. it even very easily pits these groups of people against each other, just because someone has a different outlook on what word is appropriate to say.

what matters in the use of words is the linguistic field of pragmatics: how it used and to what effect. the semantic meaning of a word is often secondary to its pragmatic use. yes, at its core the word faggot is a word demeaning towards gay men and generally gnc people. however, amongst those it is used differently and therefore receives different meanings, such as a general term of affection.

for example, i let my cishet friends call me faggot (well the German equivalent Schwuchtel). they don't usually use that word but in certain fitting situations they do, often for humorous effect when i do or say something particularly faggy. of course, i let them know that while I'm fine with it, other gay people may not be so i don't want them going around using it. but what I'm trying to say is that them using that word for me, to describe me, to address me, is not degrading and oppressing me. quite the opposite, it makes me feel a lot more comfortable being outwardly gay around them. that is because they do not use it as a slur, even if that is the meaning of the word.

banning a word often has the opposite effect through a series of bourgeois-led culture wars. they are powerless against us taking their word and using it for ourselves. there is no culture war to be started based on that. banning the word gives it power, reclaiming the word takes that power away.

in the end, though, neither will solve oppression of any kind. new words can be created, that is a part of language. language itself, the words within it, are not the source of oppression (like our dear Judith Butler would say LOL), they are at most a means to enforce it by giving it shape. so long as oppression remains we can ban and reclaim all we like, new slurs will pop up regardless. oppression itself must be broken, which is only possible ending class society, by ending the rule of the few over the many through divide-and-conquer methods. the source of all oppression is the need of the ruling class to divide the ruled classes along lines such as religion, gender, sexuality, and race to pit them against each other. THAT is what must be fought and I'm frankly tired of wasting time on who can say what word.

[hikarry]

Your genderfluid, right? Have you ever been attacked by a transphobe? Or is Portugal chill?

Yes, I am! Your friendly neighborhood genderfluid entity!

And nop

Mainly because I don't look trans. I look like a generic lesbian. If you search for the word "lesbian" in the dictionary you will have a picture of me, my flannel shirts and my dirty all-stars

With that being said, it's not that I don't want to look trans: I do. Very badly. You have no idea how badly my dysmorphia hits me when I'm in full masc mode. But my chest doesn't allow me to pass as a guy

Soon I'll have a breast reduction surgery - no, I aint taking the tits totally off. I'm genderfluid, I need them for fluidity reasons - and I'll be able to walk around without a fucking bra and wear an open shirt with nothing else under it, barely covering beforehand mentioned small tits, like my genderfluid ass deserves!

Until then, I cannot escape the "Hello miss!" cage

Don't get me wrong: the "Hello Miss" feels nice sometimes. When I feel fem. I'm totally fine with it. But when I'm masc? Boy, oh boy

My objective in life is to make all the straights and gays confused

"Is that a really short dude, or is that a lesbian?"

For now, I'm just a lesbian. One day I shall also be a really short dude

Answering the second part of the ask:

It depends.

In small areas, people will judge. Some judge me cause I look gay. Usually the ones that know me personally don't. Some of them even say I look better now, but alas. Those are people with which I grew up.

In big cities, some people will stare, some won't give a shit

Currently we are having a political shift in the country and stuff is getting hard for minorities, queer folk included. We got 50 fascists in the parliament because, in a universe of 10 million people, more than 1 million voted for them. There's, at least, more than 1 million homophobes, transphobes, racists, etc etc in the country and you don't know who they might be. You might be safe, you might be not. Before they were hidding, but now they have a leader and power. They are not ashamed to show their colors anymore, so you truly never know if you are safe if you look too queer.

I have a friend - she's trans, not genderfluid like me - and she has been attacked before. Mainly when she was still in the process of transitioning and was still not passing as a woman. I haven't talked to her in a while, but I believe now everything is chill cause no one new in her life knows she is trans. She just doesn't tell anyone because she got scared and I understand why. But that's sad, isn't it?

So, yeah. We are kinda chiil. We are kinda not.

The max that ever happened to me was having a homophobic slur thrown my way. And 5 years of my father forcing me to pretend I was straight even tho I had already came out to everyone.

Better safe than sorry, I would say

[starry-eyed-fag]

Would unironically love to see a writeup about the anti-rpf movement and how it connects to ableism. Homophobia I can kind of see, people seem to take way more issue with m/m rpf than of f/m from what i've seen, especially in classic rock. But ableism? (Genuine curiosity btw! )

-a curious rpf lover

so i normally don't get into shipcourse, but this is something I actually feel passionate about. RPF writers and readers are attacked for a lot of reasons, some of them fair and a matter of personal opinion, a lot of them very obviously bigoted. (also I will be reblogging this on my discourse blog @political-faggotry, if you want to send me asks in response to this post send them there!)

People take way more issue with m/m and f/f RPF than m/f RPF, as you said. This is because fanfiction and other forms of "shitty literature" have always been associated with queer people. This has been the case since at least the 1960s, when queer authors were forced to write shitty tragic stories that can't really be classified as love stories in order to have their stories told at all. A lot of queer-coded media was like this too, and cishet people caught on.

My informed opinion is that modern-day RPF was created because of an intersection of neurodivergence and queerness. Basically, ND queer people who felt out of place in society came together and formed fandoms around bands, actors, celebs, etc. Due to the increasing popularity of fanfiction in the 2000s, it was only natural that this would eventually bleed into fandoms of bands.

I think that the reason that M/M RPF fic was/is so popular is because of the trans eggs in fandom that 1) liked to project onto male characters and 2) viewed women as competition. Back when I was an egg, this was definitely what drew me to RPF. I did not like reading about Pete Wentz with his actual girlfriend, or with some female OC, I liked reading about him with a man I could project onto and who didn't feel like competition.

Anti-RPF "movements" during the 2000s was very obviously homophobic, misogynistic, and transphobic. Readers & writers would regularly get called homophobic slurs, get misogynist and transandrophobic comments, and otherwise be attacked for being queer and/or perceived female.

In the late 2010s was when the rise of calling things "problematic" because cringe culture died truly happened. Instead of saying "I don't like what you write because you're a faggot", people would say "actually you're problematic for writing that". It was literally the same shit we would get told in the 2000s, replacing words like "faggot" and the r-slur with "problematic".

I'm not saying that all people who call media problematic are like this - far from it. I call some media problematic too! However, media perceived as queer was targeted with accusations of being problematic far more than media without queerness attached, and many people who were already homophobic used this as an excuse to be homophobic while still being seen as "progressive".

I have an entire other rant about how non-MLM "progressives" can be and are homophobic sometimes, but I don't really have the spoons to write all that out right now - I will do it later though!

It would be misleading of me to not also talk about how TEHMs played a big part in the homophobia and transphobia that was directed at the (queer) RPF community. For those unaware, TEHM stands for Trans Exclusionary Homosexual Male. They are basically the TERF lesbians of the MLM gay community. They believe that gay trans men, especially nonbinary trans men and autistic trans men, are straight female fetishizers trying to invade the gay community.

TEHMs often come after transmasculine fans of yaoi anime, queer fanfiction, and yes, RPF. TEHMs will claim that the fact that transmasculine people tend to be in fandoms with a lot of M/M ships somehow "proves" that we are just fetishizing. So. Fucking. Many. Of the most common anti-RPF arguments use TEHM talking points, either intentionally or unintentionally.

TEHMs make use of dogwhistles to spread their messages even to people who are often trans-inclusionary. Claims of fetishizing MLM relationships are more often than not TEHM dogwhistles. A very common claim that I see among people who are VERY anti-RPF (not as in "i do not think RPF is good, but i don't really care all that much", but more as in "if you have ever read RPF in your life you should die") is that RPF is basically sexual assault.

Why would you accuse an entire fandom of young, queer, transmasculine people of sexually assaulting people who are usually 20+ years older than them? This is TEHM rhetoric.

I also want to touch on the ableism a little. Many RPF writers are neurodivergent, as one might expect. The majority of the ones I've interacted with are. The internet loves to get mad at neurodivergent people for having "problematic" interests, and with RPF it is no different.

We are singled out and our interests are seen as inherently disordered, immoral, etc. Those who are very strongly against RPF either do not know this, or they know this and are fine with harassing neurodivergent people over what amounts to a non-issue.

Now, that's the end of my point, but I have a few things to clarify. I am not trying to say that if you personally don't like RPF that you are actually transphobic, homophobic, and/or ableist. You are allowed to dislike anything for any reason and I don't care. My problem is with the people who hate RPF so much that they believe that reading it is a moral failing, or that it is okay to harass those that like it.

It is incredibly important to have boundaries writing RPF, which means not doing it anywhere that it is likely the people you are writing about will see. It is also okay to believe that RPF is inherently breaking a boundary; I disagree, but I see where your (not at anon) opinion is coming from and I respect it. It is not at all bigoted to dislike a thing for those reasons, as they are valid reasons to dislike something.

There is also a larger discussion to be had about the commodification of humans themselves in the music industry, but that is beyond the scope of this post.

I really only have a problem with the people who believe that it is a moral failing, or literal sexual assault, to be in a mostly harmless community that has been historically associated with queerness. That is all.

Please don't bring proship/anti discourse to this post.

[mothsandfoxes]

when I was in middle school I called myself queer because I read lord of the rings and liked the word (that I didn't know the connotations of) as a truly rather strange kid.

my mom of course told me to stop calling myself that because it was a slur for gay people and I was upset because I was in fact a very queer (as in strange but also unknowingly, very trans) child, but didn't think I was gay and therefore felt I couldn't claim it (and also of course had the terrifying creeping feeling of being found out, which should have been a sign of something at the time)

I guess I was right all along given the whole bisexual nonbinary lesbian thing, but really the point is that I love the word queer and how it fits me, so its nice to have it back in both senses of the word, its like an old friend.

[genderkoolaid]

The transandrophobia brainrot has hit tiktok hard. There's a sound going around right now that uses the T slur in a reclamatory way, but whenever a transmasc person uses the sound people lose their minds saying it's transmisogynistic for them to use that word. But when cis male drag queens use the audio it's a slay.

My answer to those people is Get Kate Bornstein'd:

Tranny. Many people don’t know the history of the word, they assume it was an assigned hate term or slur along the lines of the “n” word. That’s not how it happened. Tranny was invented by us in Sydney, Australia in the 1970s where drag was a big deal, and still the best drag shows ever are in Sydney, Australia – they’re amazing. So a lot of trans-identified women who were assigned male at birth did drag, that’s how you made your living. And so they were transsexuals, transvestites, drag queens, and they were all doing drag to make money. They all bickered amongst each other who is better than who, “Well the drag queens are better,” “No, the transsexuals are better.” “You are all freaks, we’re better.” And on and on and on. But they worked together and they were family together, so they came up with a word that would say family and that was tranny. In Australia they do the diminutive, that’s how they come up with words. So tranny. I learned the word in the mid-1980s, late 1980s from my drag mom in San Francisco, Doris Fish, who was the city’s preeminent drag queen and she’d come from Sydney. And she schooled me in this word tranny, she said, “This way it means we’re family, darling.” “Thank you mama.” [...] So we used it and we were trannies together. And F to M was just beginning to start, the trans men were just beginning to become visible, Lou Sullivan was a neighbor of mine around the corner, and he was the first big out trans man, wrote his book. So trans men and cross dressers . . . cross dressers were also family. Transsexuals, we were all trannies and that felt good. That got into the sex industry and became a genre – there was tranny porn, there were tranny sex workers – chicks with dicks, she-males. [...] And, my only guess is that people who . . . because the only way they would have found out about the word is if they were watching tranny porn or having been with a tranny sex worker and then hated themselves so much that they turned it into a curse word. So it’s not really technically correct to say we’re reclaiming a word – it was always ours. So, many people mistake the word for the hatred behind the word and, in my generation, and I’m sure in future generations of trans people, tranny is going to be a radicalized, sexualized identity of trans in the same way that faggot is a prideful identity in the gay male community – not all gay men are faggots, but those who are are proudly fags and those who are dykes are proudly dykes within the lesbian community, trannies are proudly tranny within the transgender community. Does that mean we can’t call ourselves that because some trans woman does not want to be called a tranny? No. I’m going to keep calling myself a tranny. To the trans woman who gets called tranny, I’m sorry – as soon as . . . you’ve got to look at why you’re getting called tranny and if you don’t pass, you’re going to be read as a transgender person and then you fall back on the cultural view of trans folk which is freak, disgusting, not worth living, we can hurt you. It has nothing to do with the word, it has everything to do with the cultural attitude. So the word has stirred up a shit storm, but it’s not the word.

^ From this interview

Four weeks ago, Bear posted a call for submissions on his blog. In the interests of keeping the call as open as possible, we agreed to include as many trans-identities as we knew, so we used the word "tranny." And that's where the activist shit hit the postmodern fan base. People have been pissed. Here's their argument: FTMs are co-opting a word that belongs to MTFs. The word "tranny" belongs to MTFs, reason those who were hurt by our use of the word, because it was a denigrating term reclaimed by MTFs—ergo, only MTFs could be known as trannies. I spoke with Bear, and we agree that’s wrong on several counts:

Tranny began as a uniting term amongst ourselves. Of course it’s going to be picked up and used as a denigrating term by mean people in the world. But even if we manage to get them to stop saying tranny like a thrown rock, mean people will come up with another word to wound us with. So, let’s get back to using tranny as a uniting term amongst ourselves. That would make Doris Fish very happy.

It's our first own language word for ourselves that has no medical-legacy. 

Even if (like gay) hate-filled people try to make tranny into a bad word, our most positive response is to own the word (a word invented by the queerest of the queer of their day). We have the opportunity to re-create tranny as a positive in the world.

Saying that FTMs can’t call themselves trannies eerily echoes the 1980s lesbians who said I couldn’t use the word woman to identify myself, and the 1990s lesbians who said I couldn’t use the word dyke. 

At one phase in the evolution of transpeople-as-tribe, it was the male-to-females who were visible and representative of trans to the rest of the world. They were the trannies. Today? Ironically true to the binary we’re in the process of shattering, the pendulum has swung so that it's now female-to-males who are the archetypal trannies of the day. The generation coming up beyond the next generation, i.e. my tribal grandchildren are the young boys who transition to young girls at the age of five or six. They’re the next trannies. None of us can own the word. We can only be grateful that our tribe is so much larger than we had thought it would be. How to come together—now that’s the job of the next generation of gender outlaws.

^ From Who You Calling A Tranny?

We've been having this debate forever and its been stupid forever.

And its an increasingly outdated debate. More people know about trans men&mascs than ever and there are plenty of TM&Ms who have been called tranny by transphobes who don't give a shit about this distinction. And not just people who have been mistaken for transfems, either, but men like Andrew Jonathan Blake-Newton and Saye Skye who were attacked by people who knew them. Do they have more or less of a right to say tranny than a trans girl whose never been called it by a transphobe? (Neither. Because no one owns this word.)

[a-frog-in-a-bog]

do you rlly think queer is a slur? why? and if you don't use queer why use other words that are also consideree slurs now or in the past like gay, lebian, trans, homo...

sorry for taking a while to respond. i think queer is a slur because...well... it is. the wiki page on the history of the word is pretty interesting, but tldr:

originally meaning strange, it gained popularity as a derogatory way of referring to gay men in the late 1800s (at the trial of oscar wilde, the father of his lover called him a snob queer). in the early 1900s, it was used alongside fairy, faggot, and invert as slurs for gay men. in gay male subculture, queer referred to stereotypically masculine men "who were repelled by the style of the fairy and his loss of manly status, and almost all were careful to distinguish themselves from such men". outside of gay circles, however, it was still being used as a slur.

by the mid-1900s, many gay men were choosing to call themselves gay, "as a means of asserting their normative status and rejecting any associations with effeminacy" (interesting, considering that within early gay culture queer referred to masculine gays who rejected effeminacy). it's worth noting that in the UK, queer was regularly used as a self-identifier through the mid 1900s, although unlike america it had retained its original meaning and in pop culture still meant odd, strange, mentally ill, or someone who uses counterfeit money (yeah idk why either).

wide reclamation of the slur didn't start happening until the late 1980s, but those who chose to reclaim were still respectful of the individual's choice to reclaim or not, as a flyer at a 1990 pride parade said: "Ah, do we really have to use that word? It's trouble. Every gay person has his or her own take on it. For some it means strange and eccentric and kind of mysterious […] And for others "queer" conjures up those awful memories of adolescent suffering […] Well, yes, "gay" is great. It has its place. But when a lot of lesbians and gay men wake up in the morning we feel angry and disgusted, not gay. So we've chosen to call ourselves queer. Using "queer" is a way of reminding us how we are perceived by the rest of the world".

homosexual, lesbian, and bisexual were scientific terms, not slurs. many people adopted these terms because of their factual and unbiased definition (the definition was unbiased. medical professionals and most cishets who used them were not).

queer, dyke, faggot, fairy, etc were applied to gay people for the purpose of dehumanizing and hurting us. if metaphors help, here's an example: "fat" is not a slur. it's an unbiased adjective. just because some people use it in a derogatory way to hurt and bully others doesn't change that. some people have no problem calling themselves fat, but some people associate it with trauma they've faced and choose not to call themselves fat. the same is true for homosexual, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, and gay. calling someone a whale or cow, however, is only used with the intention to hurt and imply that being fat is bad. the same is true with queer, dyke, faggot, and fairy.

the purpose of reclaiming slurs is to take power away from oppressors, but it is a personal choice. not everyone wants to call themselves the same thing that bullies and cops called them before beating the shit out of them or trying to kill them. and since it's a personal choice, a slur can't be reclaimed by the entire community, because we are not a monolith. so if you want to call yourself queer, or a dyke, or a faggot, go ahead, but don't call other people slurs unless they have also reclaimed it. and if someone explicitly asks that you don't call them a slur, respect them. that goes for all identifiers, as some people have more trauma associated with the word gay.

personally, i chose not to reclaim queer, given its history and the fact that it hasn't been used against me, so i feel it's not my place. if someone identifies as queer, i have no problem with it. i just hope they made an informed decision and reclaimed it because it's a slur, not because they think it's somehow more inclusive and progressive than gay or LGBT, because it's not.

[nothingmatters-everythingmatters]

Me againnn what a surpriissseee... I just have a lot of fun reading rambles about things I'm interested in lol, I haven't thought of perspectives like yours so it's super informative to read for me, especially considering that I've been rethinking a lot of things lately. Anyway, prompt of the day !! You mentioned in your last post something among the lines of "not believing in an lgbtq community"? Could you tell me more about that pls? I'm quite surprised considering the history of LGBT people and different cultures we have (such as lesbian culture, or whatever you want to call it lol). ~🪼

always happy to have you here!!

I swear when I start writing these I think it'll be a paragraph or two and then. well. you'll see. keep reading breaks my beloved you keep my blog a tolerable scroll...

[mandatory preface because I like keeping the peace lol] now honestly, this take mostly might be more of a personal opinion/observation moreso than a generally applicable argument or anything, I don't really care how "agreed upon" the take is and I don't think by any means my silly tumblr blog opinion on how communities exist really matters to those communities themselves lmao. plus, I think I believe this mostly due to my exposure to how lgbtq or "queer" community things manifest in people of my age (early/mid gen z) as well as how it interacts with some of my more anti-consumerist stances, so it might not even apply to a lot of people who have a different mindset than me. I mean, I'll still defend my opinion if someone asks, but I don't need anyone to agree with me if they don't want to.

[oh and a bonus semantic distinction! fun!] when I say lgbtq+, lgbtq, or queer community, it is specifically referring to the modern day, mainstream one that labels itself with these terms as such now, I don't equate it with historical lgbt movements, groups, or lgbt people in groups in general in the past. I also don't equate it with the individual communities that are literally a part of the acronym lgbt, like lesbians or gay men or bisexuals or the trans community, and their specific unique cultures and histories. I try and use lgbt when referring to that, but it's probably not really clear to people who don't literally share my brain lol. I basically consider me using lgbtq as interchangeable with "queer", I personally just don't prefer to use the word queer too much because I respect that a lot of people still consider it a slur, and though I guess I have "the pass" to say it or whatever, I don't like the term anyway (you probably get how I feel about general open-ended definitions at this point lmaoo), but a lot of people in the specific demographic I'm talking about use it as identification so it also helps to summarize who I actually mean. dunno if this is a necessary precursor I just realized halfway through that even though I elaborate on this distinction in what I wrote this might be a good just general heads-up on what I'm working with in my brain as I write! if it's still unclear feel free to ask further!

--- actual answer to the question now lmao ---

obviously, general lgbt solidarity and activism has had very important effects, and individual communities and their cultures. and for the most part what people would consider the collective lgbt community has at least historically helped with visibility and activism to normalize gender non-conformity, and promote visibility and acceptance of sexual minorities. that's all super rad and very cool!

however, at least from what I notice now that lgbt acceptance has become mainstream, a lot of the most important activism has been secured has gotten to a relatively stable point in the western world. (well, in the US, I guess it's actually not as stable since it might depend on who the president ends up being and how dumb our supreme court decides to be lmao) and the lgbtq community has become more and more of a cultural movement than a political movement (which is again, good! people's sexuality shouldn't be inherently political). but, with this emphasis on culture vs. activism within the community combined with the reliance young people have on social media and the growing culture of consumerism in the west, the "lgbtq community" becomes this sort of forced consumer demographic and personal aesthetic rather than an actual community focused on bonding over shared experiences and collaboration to further shared goals.

besides, at least how I see it and how I've experienced being a part of the "community", outside of being same-sex attracted and the impact that has on life, even gay men and lesbians don't share much culture or experience outside of being closeted and coming out (which are experiences that already will vary anyway based on other factors such as ethnic background or social class). when you add in transgender with the t, or other newer labels with the q, or even more things with a +, there becomes even less overlap that would necessitate a community to form.

yet a community has formed, you might say! yes, but from my experience, it's formed mostly around artificially produced trends and now--increasingly--social media and branding. in my opinion, this is not only just a weak start for community building, but also it sucks and makes even real social interactions and gathering feel hollow. this is something I had to think about a lot when I found lgbtq+ communities in real life seeking, well, community, but actually found very little in common with most people that I supposedly shared community with. now, I could say this issue might just be that I suck at identifying myself and couldn't find my real community! and straight up didn't even acknowledge my actual experiences and feelings at time! which is true, but I would still need to realize that as a naive teenager I wasn't able to understand my actual sexuality or anything because the community that was supposed to help was either too general or too focused on outward manufactured culture rather than material experiences or realities, and that the mainstream lgbtq community's conception of what the specific communities within it were also following that trend. when I was bi-curious, the community I could find told me bisexuality was clear phone cases, cuffed jeans, and having a golden retriever boyfriend to wear pride merch with. when I was identifying as aroace, I found discussion of cartoon characters and flimsy metaphors. when I was trans--okay that one is a bit more complicated because I was basically almost a transmedicalist at points lol but within the more mainstream trans community with non-binary stuff--it was about passing and fashion and surgery (which in some cases, is quite consumerist) and the feelings/vibes. and always, in every real life lgbtq community I could find, it was like this, plus mostly discussions about celebrity culture, the same dozen or so popular community memes at the time, and probably fandom. and at that point too, there wasn't really a discussion on being closeted and dealing with that, as (again, positively) acceptance is more widespread, but also because with social media, it almost became an extra little "self-branding" point to share online.

are many of these personal problems? yeah! I don't care that much (anymore) about clothing trends and buying accessories or even how others perceive me, and I try to not be as "online" (it's a process :p obviously I am still very online...to my own detriment). I did find more of what I wanted to from communities, but it was always the specific separate ones (like the lesbian community, which definitely has a unique culture and history isolated from the mainstream lgbt ones) and usually it was from reddit (which sucks for so many reason still so that wasn't ideal) or old forums that were long dead because people my age do not use forums lmao. however, I think acknowledging the trend of lgbt community basically being a consumer focused demographic more so than an actual community is important as trends of consumerism become more and more hostile to the environment, to labor rights across the world, and just to critical thinking.

additionally, I think continuously propping up the lgbtq+ community as a monolithic community of shared culture and voices rather than what historically was a community of solidarity for activism and civil rights born out of necessity, creates a false dichotomy of "straight" and "not straight", with straight people being seen more and more as "uncool" due to the social media landscape promoting hyper-individualism. this not only alienates people outside of the community and gives people already homophobic more causes to generalize people unlike them negatively, and also promotes people who want to be differentiated from that negative "straight" identity to find a way in to the community. which again, by itself who cares, I'm not policing what people want to identify as, but that also dilutes the commonalities of the lgbt community even further and allows for even more of the absence of real community tenets to be filled with consumerism.

and look, maybe people just want to have fun and they want to be catered to with fun products and events and parties and that's their right, even if I disagree! but I can't really bring myself to understand it as what a community actually is/ideally should be: a group of people with something in common enriching each other and forming social bonds around that commonality. for a bit of a comparison, it gives me the vibe of a modern push to have things like AAPI or BIPOC or labels for communities like that, where the point is to outline your identity for brandable purposes more than it is to connect with others with shared identity (because, spoiler, most groups pushed together into these communities have very little in common!). I guess you could make a differentiation here that genuinely helpful community is based on people, where as communities that lack in actual community are based on labels. something like that. there's probably a lot more nuance I could explore with this including how "american" this whole kind of label-based community is but that seems like an actual thesis and unfortunately doing real research is a bit above my pay-grade on this blog :p

all that rambling to basically say: I don't think the lgbtq+ community has that much in common amongst itself and the variety of specific groups clumped within it anymore (outside of being affected by the same bigotry which if you really think about it also isn't necessarily true but that's like so many more words and so much more discourse lol and my brain is running out of steam). so, it kind of makes for a subpar actual "community" in my eyes. it's nice to have other queer-identified friends at times, yeah! actually being able to openly talk about being attracted to women with others for one, is really great especially in a misogynistic society that demonizes female sexuality especially when it doesn't involve men. but, what does it help me, or any other young lgbt person, to go to so-called community events and just be sold things or told to buy things based on a label that I honestly only assign to my self because it's definitionally important for me, not because "I feel the vibes". or told to look a certain way because it's cool and that's what my identity really means, how I look to others? what am I, a walking bundle of tags labeled for advertisers so I can be sold the exact thing that appeals to me because I'm gay? if I think too much about it it gets dystopian lmao and I get a lot of people in my generation don't think about it at all, or choose not to care. for some reason or another though, I care a lot. oh well!

as always, pick any random offshoot comment I said and I could probably write you ten more paragraphs lolol, but I'm happy to do it! this one especially, it's based on so much anecdotal experience that if anyone wants more examples, I can absolutely do my best to provide !! (I have too much free time and this beats my bad habit of laying catatonic phone scroll time)

realizing now also that I do have some thoughts about lgb seperatism that relate to this but it's a bit late to rework this train of thought, I'll just say I can definitely understand that sentiment, but I have yet to lurk enough in actual explicitly lgb communities so I can't speak clearly about it. interesting stuff though.

also also I actually remembered there might have been a point to be made further about how the modern lgbtq community might have historical roots but historical revisionism and misinformation is so common for the up and coming waves of the community (young people do learn facts from tiktok yeahhhh unfortunate) diminish the actual culture from the past anyway, but I forgot to mention it above and it would've been another two paragraphs or something and that one might actually be good to have more sources to supplement, so...I'll file it for later!

really, this is a personal exercise for me more than it feels like a response to someone, and despite that people still take the time to prompt me anyway lmao. all people hitting up my inbox in good faith you're awesome and great and other nice adjectives!

and jellyfish anon I hope you have a delightful day after reading this (or in between reading this, it might be long enough to deserve an intermission tbh lol) !! thank you again !! happy thinking and whatnot!!

[dovesndecay]

you can identify as queer and it can still also be a slur like these two things can be true. it is not ahistorical to say it's a slur when I've literally witnessed it being used as a slur. you have clearly never lived in the bible belt where people say 'those dirty queers'

The first time I remember hearing the word "queer," I couldn't have been more than a couple years old. Maybe 3 or 4. It was on the television.

"We're here, we're queer; get used to it." echoed through the room.

Now, I couldn't tell you which adults of my childhood were around me. I couldn't tell you the specifics of their conversation. But I remember the ... very specific flavor of condemnation that hummed behind every word they said.

I spent the majority of my life, with brief sojourns to other states, in a town of less than 15,000 in the toe of Louisiana. We had more churches than grocery stores or schools.

The unique sound of Southern Disapproval is one very familiar to me.

I was lucky -- mom's bi, too, and dad's an ally. But their support, even before I knew for myself that I needed it, didn't shield me from the queerphobia in others.

I never came out to my very southern grandmother. Maybe she knew, maybe she didn't. I stopped hiding it as much after I moved from Louisiana to Mississippi, and then to Florida, feeling more comfortable exploring my gender away from my family and our culture.

The reason I never came out to her was because every time I thought about maybe telling her, "I'm bisexual. I'm nonbinary. I might be some kind of aspec but we're not dealing with that right now" I would remember.

Midday at her kitchen table, in the house I spent most of my adolescence, where she let me play with bread dough and made me chocolate milk, and smoked her cigarettes. My back is to the tv, my focus on the task of rolling dough in my hands -- oh, stimming even back then -- and I am frozen by her furious exclamation, "Ugh, disgustin'. Gay men are one thing, but lesbians, I just don't fucking understand that nasty shit."

I grew up hearing that [relative] "dresses like a bull dyke." Disapproval. Judgemental. Found wanting.

I grew up learning that trans people were jokes or fantasies, but never real people.

The first time I heard the word queer, it was a battlecry.

It was a statement of existence, and a refusal to keep dying silent.

All of our words are slurs, and I get to choose which ones I reclaim for myself.

[genderstarbucks]

i have a request

xenogender for ppl who r pro stoning mspec lesbian/gays or ppl who believe male lesbians exist, also dawg half of the stuff in ur intro isnt real and just made up so you can feel special just put "I am gay/queer and trans" nobody needs to know that you are an otter attracted to twinks and bears 500+ fetishes n shit , gay ppl didnt die just so you can sit around and say "guyyyyssss ughhh lesbians can be attracted to men!! they can they can!!!" and trans ppl didnt die just so you can say "guys dont see me as a girl pls it makes me sooo uncomfy but im a female ftm woman trans man pussy vagina cunt man BUT DONT CALL ME A WOMAN GIRL PLS PLS DONT USE SHE HER ON ME!!!!!!!! IM JUST A SHEHERWOMAN BOY!!!"

Usually I ignore hate like this but this is so fucking funny to me

Nowhere in my bio does it say I'm a woman you dumbass LMFAO, it says I'm female, which is different than a woman

Saying I'm just gay and trans does not explain the entirety of my experience, I can use whatever fucking labels I want to describe myself whether you like it or not you wet sock

"That's not real it's made up", yeah all words are you fucking idiot

The fact that you would stone people based on an identity that literally doesn't affect your tiny brain at all says a lot about you

YOU'RE the one who's disrespecting the trans people who have died to transphobia by caring so much about the fact that this is how I experience my transness

I think they'd be proud of the fact that me and so many others are reclaiming slurs that have been used against us

Have you ever even heard of cistrans people? Probably not considering your brain implodes at the thought of male lesbians

Also where the fuck are the "fetishes" in my bio you're speaking of? Those are just my dating preferences fuckface, what? Are you mad that you don't fit those preferences? You're just mad you can't be with me because I'm so great

You are actually so fucking stupid it's funny, you think I actually care about your opinion?

Mspec gays, lesbians and straights will and have always existed, no matter what your tiny brain thinks

Lesboys and turigirls still exist too you idiot

Oh boo hoo a butch lesbian is calling themselves a lesboy, and you're getting offended over that? That's really fucking pathetic

Gay and trans people died for my and other weird queer people's rights, and the rights for us to identify however we want

R you rlly gonna support xenogenders but not other niche queer identities? Stupid ass

Nobody ever said all lesbians like men or that lesbians have to like men, lesbians only like men if they're attracted to men while also calling themselves a lesbian you dumbass

Irl literally nobody cares if you identify as an mspec gay or lesboy, it's people like you who keep pulling this stupid discourse back up WHEN LITERALLY NOBODY CARES

It's not affecting you assfuck

I'm pro stoning people who are like you, specifically with big boulders