#because why not thats somehow not the worst thing that happens in one of my stories

[so-you-melted-22]

i just watched three minutes of the most uncomfortable usamerican republican hunter youtube video, just to find out how to get out of a bear trap.

the things i do in the name of writing-research.

[pinkgy]

Hello, a new writing blog with great writing!

How about some NSFW headcanons for the paradise lost demons (whb)? I'm not sure if you write for them since the request rules don't really specify it, so feel free to just ignore this if you don't.

Have a nice day!

Hi Anon !

Yes, I do write for every character from every of the fandoms listed in my request post.

I’m sorry if my headcanons might lack a bit of accuracy or are not as specific as the ones I wrote for the kings, we don’t know much yet about the Paradise lost demons so I’m writing this based of on my opinion, some investigation and the little content we’ve seen in the game so far about them.

Hope you like it and thank you so much for your request♡

𝗪𝗛𝗕 !

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗧

𝗡𝗦𝗙𝗪 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗦

GN!Reader + Reader has a pussy + Slight mentions of She/Her pronouns in Buer’s.

𝗖𝗪: Overstimulation, Edging, Dacryphilia, Shibari, Toys (Vibrators), Praising, Degradation, Blowjobs, Handjobs, Lingerie, Somnophilia.

𝗟𝗨𝗖𝗜𝗙𝗘𝗥

⇒ He's a Top without a doubt, there's no debating in this, he would get mad at you if you dared to suggest the idea of him being a sub.

⇒ Lucifer is actually pretty sweet, yes, he does a lot of questionable things while "pleasuring you" but he never does anything that hurt you too much, you have a safe word and many other ways where you can communicate to him any discomfort you might have and he Iso gives the best aftercare.

⇒ He's into shibari, this mostly because this way he can have you all to his mercy so he can toy with you for hours until your face is covered in tears.

⇒ He's the worst when he overstimulates you or when he edges you, by doing that he forgets any kind of limits you have set for him, you can beg him to stop, he won't, the more you cry, the more he does it. If he is eating your pussy while he aggressively thrusts his fingers in and out and you are sobbing and telling him to stop, he is going to do it faster, harder and way for aggresively.

⇒ There's no such a thing as normal sex with him, he's into a lot of shit, one crazier than the other, and he's also pretty good at analyzing you and he can figure out pretty quickly the things you like, and Lucifer will also be into those things.

⇒ "You say that it's too much ? Well, this cunt tells me overwise, and those beautiful tears all over your face don't seem to be out of pain, so don't lie to me and give me one more

𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗕𝗔𝗦

⇒ Marbas confuses me, he technically cant be freed from his restraints without Lucifers permission because his libido and violence are to dangerous for EVERYONE, but for the sake of this headcanon, lets say that he's not that bad when he's free. (ill include some headcanons where he's tied up tho, thats literally his kink)

⇒ Marbas is a Top, the fact that he's into being tied up does not means he subs, he definitely doesn't.

⇒ He would tie you up if you begged enough or as a punishment, but you better appreciate it, it doesn’t happen as often as you’d think.

⇒ He loves when you use toys on him while hes tied up, specially those wired bullet vibrators, he's soooo into being defenseless in front of you.

⇒ When he's tied up he loves being overstimulated, suck his dick nonstop or furiously rub it it up and down or play with his dick head, the sight of your face covered in his cum makes him go crazy.

⇒ But in spite of this headcanons, he tops, a l w a y s, you can have him tied up and ruining him with a bunch of bullet vibrators attached to his dick, he's dominating you somehow.

⇒ "Do i look that weak to you ? speed up that vibrator right fucking now or else im not fucking you"

𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗔𝗫

⇒ I don’t know why, but he gives switch vibes, but is leaning towards subbing.

⇒ Morax likes to be taken care of but not to the point of being a pillow prince.

⇒ Omg praise him please, he’ll become the whiniest boy out there, tell him how beautiful he is when he cums or how cute his moans are.

⇒ He’ll do anything for you, if you want him to completely submit to you, he will, and if you want him to fuck you senseless and completely rail you, he will, Morax is the definition of being into what you’re into.

⇒ As his kink says, he’s into body modifications, if you have one, he’ll go crazy, and if you don’t, that’s fine for him. But if you wanted to get one, even if it’s temporary, just to please him, you’ll drive him crazy, not because of the modification, but because of the intention.

⇒ “Just tell me, whatever you want me to do, just tell me, I’m yours, every part of me is your property, I’m here to please you and only you”

𝗕𝗨𝗘𝗥

⇒ He’s neither a dom nor a sub, but he’s not a switch, he just likes to feel good and likes to make you feel good, but he tends to get a bit dominant sometimes.

⇒ Wear fluffy lingerie, bonus points if it’s animal themed. (I don’t see him being into pet play tho, but who knows)

⇒ Buer is a box full of surprises, you never know his next move, he can be kissing you in the most romantic way possible, and then suddenly he’s spitting in your mouth.

⇒ Buer has something that makes me believe that he’s into somnophilia, but receiving it, he likes to challenge you to make him cum without waking him up, and the feeling of having his pants wet with his cum makes him go crazy.

⇒ He would love a pillow princess, to just please her and only her for hours, that’s a big fantasy of his.

⇒ “We have all the time in the world, so for this night and every night you want, so let me be the one that makes you feel the best you’ve ever felt”

[ganondoodle]

the worst part about finding more and more about totk that i dont like is that ... it seems like one of my biggest fears is going to become true; all of my previous hyperfixations died because a new thing of the franchise came out and i didnt like it, turned that strange, perhaps unhealthy, love and attachment into disappointment and sadness and im afraid thats happening to zelda right now, the one hyperfixation i hoped could last or at the very least i would just grow slowly away from in a good way if it was just totk that i didnt like, tho its hard to see all the love people have for it and just ... feel the opposite about it, it would be fine (heck i really disliked links awakening but ultimately i just regret spending so much money on it, it didnt impact my feelings about the rest of the franchise) but because it diminishes everything about botw too .. a game that i still love deeply, its not fine aside from me not liking anything they did with the zonau, it basically steamrolled botw too, damn near ignoring it ever happened, cramming in zonau stuff where it wasnt before just so its literally everywhere, taking its mysterious and answerign them in boring ways, implying that stuff i loved so much about botw was yet just another zonau thing (the three dragons possibly having been zonau ..........the ancient hero mystery being .. that.......) people basically claiming as fact that its somehow slammed into the old timeline despite it making no sense nor has any evidence aside from some names that happened to be used once before or them saying whats the point of ever looking at botw again bc totk does everything "better" ...

you cant ignore it really, even if i try to ignore what i dont like, i know whats revealed in totk, and others know it too.

and in turn it all makes me go back to that strange self hatred i thought i had finally left behind, the why do i care so much, its stupid to care so much about a piece of media i have no control about anyway, whats the point of caring so much, you have wasted so much time and effort and thought and tears about something like this, why are you so weird, why cant you just be like everyone else and love it all, why are you like this, stop being like this.

knowing i cant stop being like this, fearing from the start it might happen just like it has so many times, that i fall in love with a piece of media so much that when it gets a new thing that i dont like but affects every aspect of it it all flips into anger first, then disappointment and sadness and in end into wishing i wasnt weird like this, knowing i cant change it ... and it turning out true

[lunar-years]

and like, the thing about the amsterdam james lore was that if they wanted a james redemption, they could have used that as an opportunity to soft launch it! "my dad took me to amsterdam and we actually had a good time, but after we got back home he started drinking again and things got bad again." i still dont think thats justification for jamie reconnecting with him, but at least we could have canon evidence he was an okay dad when sober. but no, they doubled down, and made trying to kill a main character somehow *not* the worst thing james had done

Yeah I think what's most crazy is that scene solidified in my own mind so many missing pieces in my own headcanoned Jamie lore. We learnt SO much in that scene and not one single piece of information pointed towards "this is a character who is going to not only recover but act as a non-negative presence in Jamie's life."

New information I gathered from the Amsterdam scene:

As you pointed out, physical/emotional abuse of his son and nearly murdering Beard are not the topmost crimes on James Sr.'s scorecard.

leading into, Jamie is a csa victim

Jamie doesn't remember it happening. we've discussed at length what that could stem from and yes there are multiple explanations but. well. uhh. none of them are good. i think.

Others disagree, and that's completely fine, but I very much think the scene is coded as This Is The First Time Jamie Has Told Anyone What Happened and Roy is Now the Only Person Who Has this Information.

At the time of taking Jamie to Amsterdam, James Sr. was trying to get back together with Georgie and playing up the "Superdad" routine

Others disagree with this as well, but I read that line as Jamie implying it was neither the first nor last time James had tried those tactics (and possibly been successful at one or more points, we don't know one way or another)

Georgie allowed Jamie to go to Amsterdam with James and then presumably allowed James to continue seeing Jamie afterwards (we're given no information to the contrary, anyway)

So taking all of that together, to me it's not just the confirmation that the abuse Jamie suffered at his father's hands was even more abhorrent than we thought or that Jamie's trauma runs deeper than we previously thought. It's also evidence that Jamie has never been in a position where he's felt comfortable with confronting that trauma and has yet to unpack all of the things he has gone through.

Furthermore, the scene hints that what we see at the end of s3 is (imo quite possibly) not the first time James has been in rehab or at least claimed to have sobered up or shown signs of recovery, only to fall back into his old ways shortly afterwards. This is indicated by Georgie allowing him to take their son out of the country, which (considering we meet her later in the season and get a sense of her character, including her deep love for her son) I cannot imagine her doing had James been obviously still a drunk. This is also why I personally believe Jamie hasn't told her what happened, because he continues to see his father after he returns. I just can't see Georgie allowing that had she known.

None of this sets the scene for a successful James recovery arc. In fact, for me it makes the whole thing worse and so unlikely to end for good because 1) Jamie forgives his father before even processing everything his father did to him, and without informing any of the people closest to him, let alone consulting an actual professional. This to me does not indicate Jamie is in the right mental place to be embarking on this new journey. 2) There is absolutely a more-than-plausible chance James Sr.'s current rehab stint will follow the same cycle as times previous: he's better for a while. he's superdad! until he's not. and Jamie as usual becomes collateral damage.

I therefore am forced to conclude Jamie could very well be opening himself up to more hurt and more pain at his father's hands, when he hasn't even dealt with his current backload of hurt and pain. If we were supposed to feel hopeful in the final scene where Jamie visits him--I have to say, because of what THEY told us and wrote about their backstory, I feel anything but.

[muiyuuu]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚apple cider

how a tiny crush developed into the love of your life with scara🤍

⤷ scara + gn!reader in modern au

⤷ bad grammar/english & lower case intended!

(story inspired by : Apple Cider by beabadoobee)

“lets give this thing a try”

(image not mine pls credit)

you have always found scara annoying. how he would bother anyone without a reason. but somehow you still had a crush on him, even though he would always tease his seat mates, no one knew why. until the teacher had to isolate him because he kept bothering everyone.

“just a small crush” everyone said

“you’ll get over it eventually” and yet its been months since you’ve had this tiny crush on him. theres just something about him that you adore. maybe it’s the hair, or eyes. you didn’t know.

but if you were to confess but get friendzoned (since you guys were best friends) that would be one of the worst things that could happen with crushes.

and so you had the courage to confront him, just to talk it out. you saw him sitting at his desk, 10 minutes before class started.

“he was never this early” you thought.

you excused yourself to your other friends and walked up to him, taking the seat in front.

you started small talking him about the juicy drama thats been going on and all that kind of stuff. you kept going on about things even though you thought he wasn’t listening.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

it was already midnight, you were lying in bed and scrolling on your phone, when a sudden vibration jumped you. it was a call from your best friend scara, the person who you had a crush on for months but felt like years. you pushed the answer button and put the call on speaker.

"hello?" a soft voice spoke.

"scara hello?" you answered.

"why'd you call me?"

"i dont know.... i just felt like it"

"oh....ok"

then an awkward silence can only be heard. when you were about to break the silence, scara spoke.

"hey (name), can i tell you something?"

you responded with a "yeah sure". you were so clueless of what was gonna happen. your heart was beating fast "what was he gonna say?" "oh no.... is he gonna-"

"let's give this thing a try"

‧₊˚✩彡

you were playing in the playground when a tap from your shoulder startled you. you turned around to see your friend "mouchie" you called him. you asked what was wrong when red rose up his cheeks and he turned away and stared at the ground, then spoke.

"i-i really like your outfit"

"oh my jumper? thank you!"

"your....welcome"

"hey scara"

"yeah?"

"i really like talking to you and holding your hand!"

he went quiet and blushed and hid his face with his enormous hat. the stuttered "t-thank y-you"

the next day you wore the same exact jumper and over, and over, until junior high. you didn't realize you had a crush on him and said it was a best friends love and denied any feelings for him.

you went home that day and you were eating dinner with your family when your mother asked if scara wanted to come over some time. you thought it was a good idea and replied with a nod and a smile.

"its raining"

"yeah, pretty hard too"

you two were gazing at the window where rain was pouring hard and thunder struck you flinched but laughed it off. you looked around and saw your mom on the phone and nodding her head. you whispered who she was calling, she whispered back a "his mom".

you turned to scara to see him looking at the ground and then questioned him "do you like apple cider?". he looked at you dumbfounded like you just asked him the weirdest question anyone could ask.

which he blurred out a "yes, why?"

"do you want some?" you said with a gentle smile. and he replied with a simple "ok". you took his hand and ran to the kitchen and opened the fridge. where you found the apple cider at the bottom shelf on the side and took it with two hands.

you set it on the counter and grabbed two cups from a cupboard. you poured the two glasses with the drink and handed one of them to scara.

he took a sip and you did too. you could see a ghostly smile placed on his face. you grinned and took the last sip. your mom gave an announcement that scara would be staying the night since theres thunder outside. you happily squealed a "sleepover!"

‧₊˚✩彡

"i like you...(name)"

your heart rapidly fastened, you were stunned. you didn't know what to say.

"i like you too.....alot"

this was very messy…. i tried to write this how the song went but i messed up…i hope u still like it!

© 2023 muiyuuu || if reposting pls credit me, DO NOT repost without permission on any platform, translate or copy ||

[muchmoreclever]

so... this is my first time writing smut. I'm very nervous about it so, apologies if it absolutely sucks. also, there is such a lack of marauders ladies smut so obviously i had to remedy this.

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

words: 4194

warnings: knives, blood, oral (f. rec), marking, biting, hair pulling, aftercare.

It's late. Far later than she should be awake, and yet here she is. She had been sleeping peacefully, dreams of something warm and bright, the smell of chestnut and vanilla still lingering in her nose, when something had startled her awake.

Her first thought is someone is breaking in. She doesn't exactly live in the best part of town, and it wouldn't be the first time someone around her was robbed. Her second thought is if she should call the police, it seems the logical thing to do when one’s home is being burgled. Just as she's reaching for her phone she hears something that sounds familiar to her flatmate's voice–no, yeah that is definitely Lily. She’s humming something. So… they're not getting robbed then? Surely if Lily is out there humming about, nothing out of the ordinary can be happening.

Mary pushes back the blankets on her bed, sliding her legs over the side and walking tentatively to her locked bedroom door. With bated breath, she unlocks the door. In the silence of the room, the click sounds far too loud. She stands there for a moment with her hand on the doorknob, her heartbeat hammering away at her chest despite the fact she knows nothing can be wrong, there's just something in the air making the hair on the back of her neck stand up. In the purely animal part of her brain, she almost feels like prey.

When she pushes through the ridiculous fear, and steps into the hallway she can see a light on in the kitchen. The small little nightlight they had plugged in directly after Lily moved in, complaining of a fear of the dark. It's a warm sort of lighting that only casts over half the room, and barely makes things recognisable.

Mary walks slowly toward the light, her bare feet freezing on the cold hardwood. When she makes it to the kitchen she can just see the outline of Lily by the sink, her eyes still adjusting to the darkness. Lily has something in her hands, and her humming has become louder now, the song recognisable, it's a song she never even heard Lily listen to before, who’d of thought she was a fan of Nelly Furtado?

“Lily?” Mary hesitantly asks, Lily's humming cuts off and her body straightens, but she keeps her back to Mary.

“Did I wake you?” Lily asks, “I didn't mean to, was just… Getting a snack.”

There’s something in the way Lily says the last word, it has weight to it, but Mary couldn't think of a single reason as to why. She steps further into their tiny kitchen, barely a few steps away from Lily, and reaches into one of the cupboards, pulling down a bowl.

"Do you want me to make you something?” Mary asks, and it's silent for a beat too long, “Lily?”

Something is dripping, in the silence Mary can now hear it. For a moment she thinks it's the sink, that Lily left it on or maybe it has a leak but as her eyes travel to it, it's dry as a desert. Her eyes search for the source of the sound, travelling down from the sink to the countertops, and from the countertops to Lily's hands, which are, in fact, dripping . At first, she isn't really sure what it is, only that the parts of Lily she can see are covered in it. 

“Oh my god–Lily?” She breathes, “Are you alright? You're blee–?”

“Are you scared?” 

Yes. Especially now.

Because Lily has turned around, all innocently doe-eyed and covered in blood. And Mary is no stranger to blood, she's been an ER nurse for nearly three years now, and she sees blood every fucking day of her life. Pints of the stuff, all poured out onto herself and other people, she knows inhumane amounts of blood–but somehow this is more. It's everywhere–in her hair, arms, her mouth. Yes, her mouth thats where it's the worst. It’s caked around her lips and her chin, and neck, as if she had been–

As if she had been eating it.

Mary is a logical girl, there has to be a logical answer to this. She just can't think of one.

“I didn't mean to scare you,” Lily says, and she brings her hands up, for a moment Mary tenses, as if Lily is going to reach for her, but no. She simply is holding an apple and a knife, she continues talking as she casually cuts the apple, as if she and it aren't slathered in blood. “I thought you were working, or I would've been quieter.”

Mary can't say a word, her mouth has gone completely dry and her heart is once again working double time. She watches as Lily cuts into her apple, her crimson hands a stark contrast to the slick silver of the blade, she watches as those same hands take the apple slice and slowly pop it onto her tongue, she seems to almost hesitate for a moment, her mouth hanging open before her teeth sink into the skin, liquid slipping between her lips and falling down her chin, mixing with the blood.

Lily lets it fall for a moment, before darting her tongue out and licking her lips. And really, there must be something horribly, awfully wrong with Mary because she is… she is finding it difficult to breathe for an entirely different reason than fear. Lily must know it too, because she is staring intently at Mary, her pupils blown and her lip between two sharp teeth. 

Carelessly, Lily lets her hand fall limp, the knife falling from it onto the floor with a clatter.

“Oh.” She sighs as if completely shocked by the turn of events, “Do you mind?”

Mary should know better. Mary should say no. Instead, she keeps her eyes on Lily’s and sinks to her knees, just for the thrill of seeing Lily's reaction and it does not disappoint. Lily's eyes widen slightly, a small proud smirk on her lips and she gives an encouraging nod to Mary. Mary lets her hand feel around blindly for the knife, not caring if she gets cut, Lily would probably like that anyway.

When she does finally find the knife, she lets her eyes leave Lily’s for a split second, just to watch herself wrap her palm around the handle, to see the way the blood stains her skin. When she looks back up at Lily her gaze has darkened, the smile is gone, and she is just observing Mary. As if waiting for the wrong move.

With the knife in hand and eye contact reinstated, she makes a move to stand back up but quickly stops when Lily gives a small shake of the head. Standing as tall as she can from her knees she hands Lily the knife and watches intently as Lily takes it back and gives it a once-over. Lily looks down at her with hooded eyelids as something akin to hunger overtakes her features, and without sparing Mary another look she sticks out her tongue and licks over the length of the knife, from the handle to the tip of her blade that she lets snag her tongue, cutting into it so very gently. Lily continues to lick the blade, letting her own blood mingle with the blood already on the blade, a sick union that Mary is so sure is born of murder of some sort.

When Lily finishes, she leaves the knife spotless. Mary is completely hypnotised. Lily, sweet, kind, fucking teacher Lily, is standing in front of her with a knife in her hand and a completely feral look on her face. She looks as if she wants to rip Mary apart, and for some reason, Mary is willing to let her. God, she never pegged herself to have a blood kink–

Lily is breathing heavily now, and twisting the knife around her fingers carelessly as if she wants to be cut. When she has a solid hold on it again, she decides the best thing to do is to stick it to Mary's throat, tilting her head up. The blade is warm on her skin, Lily is pushing with just enough pressure that she can feel the threat of skin breaking, one wrong move and she's bleeding.

“Are you still scared?” Lily asks in a whisper.

“Yes,” Mary answers honestly.

“Do you want me to stop?” 

“No .” She all but pleads.

Lily smiles at her, and trails the knife up her face, to the tips of her cheekbones and back down to her cupids bow. Lily holds it to her lips for a moment as she slowly sinks down, crouching until she’s at eye level with Mary. Lily brings the knife down, pulling Mary’s bottom lip into a pout.

“God, you're just so fucking appetizing,” Lily whispered leaning in closer and closer until the only thing that separates them is the blade of her knife. Mary expects her to move it, maybe hold it under her throat again in a way so intoxicating, but Lily chooses to kiss her over the knife. She isn't careful about it, nor gentle, and Mary feels panic flare up when she tastes the first bit of blood fall onto her tongue, but it only seems to encourage Lily.

Lily does eventually remove the knife, once again licking it before she throws it carelessly over her shoulder so she can deepen the kiss. It's nothing like the kisses Mary has ever had before, it's heavy and violent. Lily’s tongue licking at her teeth and biting her lip where it split so blood will spill over, every time Lily tastes it she groans. The sound enough makes Mary willing to give up every ounce of her blood as long as Lily keeps making those noises.

Lily's hands are everywhere, travelling slowly from the small of Mary’s back up to her shoulders and then into her hair where she grabs a handful of Mary's curls and pulls . Mary can’t help but gasp as her eyes roll back, a moan falling from her lips as Lily takes advantage of the new territory, mouthing up and down Mary’s neck. Lily licks the heated skin, nipping at it gently at first and then more violently. Mary isn't completely sure, but it is almost as if Lily's teeth get longer, sharper . The more into it Lily gets, the more aggressive until she pulls back with a groan, wiping violently at her own face and smearing the old blood away, making a clean canvas for her newest project. Lily is hovering around Mary's neck, just under the soft spot where she can feel Mary's pulse. Mary can feel her haggard breath on her skin, she can feel Lily lick the skin and drag her teeth along it, but just before she can get on with it, Mary has a revelation.

“Wait–Wait, stop.” Mary gasps, and God, she knows she’s the one that stops it all but when Lily leans away she can't help but whine, “We can't. It's wrong, Lily.”

“Doesn't feel wrong to me,” Lily says, leaning closer and running her hands up and down Mary’s thighs.

And in all honesty, it doesn't, maybe it's the fact that she's never been more turned on in her life thats clouding her judgement, but she has never felt so sure about something. Even as she feels the blood from Lily's hands drying on the skin of her thighs, she's sure she’s never wanted anything. And really, she would just go ahead and fuck her if wasn't for the fact that her boyfriend would not at all appreciate it.

“I can't.” Mary shook her head desperately, “Nash would be so upset.”

Lily let out a sweet laugh, her hands tightening their grip around Mary’s thighs, leaning back into Mary’s neck, “Nash isn't a problem anymore, dont worry your pretty little head .” She punctuated the last three words with gentle bites up Mary’s throat.

Mary used every ounce of her self-control to pull back away from Lily, heavy-lidded eyes staring into hers, “What do you mean?”

Lily smiled something sinister, her pretty white smile stained red. Mary was starting to think she knew whose blood it was, and found herself… relieved, in a sick sense. God, she was so fucked up. So fucked up for this girl.

“You trust me, don't you Mare?” Lily asked, “You would've run if you didn't.”

Mary nods.

Lily leans in close to Mary’s ear, “Then stop thinking and let me help you.” Lily pulled back with a tender smile, “Thats easy enough isn't it? Just to sit there and look pretty?”

“Mhm.” Mary hummed as she watched Lily search for the knife she had disposed of earlier, her eyes brightening when she saw it.

Lily crowds back into Mary's space, pushing the knife flush with her thigh, “Just sitting there, trying not to get hurt? Sit so very still and careful for me?” Mary nods, “Letting me just… do what I want?”

“Yes.” Mary breathes.

Lily hums, something deep in the back of her throat and smacks harshly at Mary's leg. She pulls herself up in a way that should not be so seductive in their dingy little kitchen and lets her hands cradle Mary’s face.

“Stand up.”

Mary does.

Lily's hands wrap around her waist, pulling Mary to where she wants her, and with a strength you wouldn't expect from such a person she lifts Mary up, pushing her back onto the counter and stepping in between her legs. Her hands travel up from her ass to the hem of her shirt, and agonizingly slowly Lily's hands slip under, cold skin meeting warm and shivers erupting for both parties. Her hands go farther and farther until she’s caressing Mary’s breasts.

“No bra?”

“What?” Mary's mind has ceased to work, the words taking far longer than they should to sink in, “No I was–I was uhm, sleeping.”

“You never wear one to sleep?” Lily asks, but Mary hardly hears her, she’s gone ahead and let her eyes slip shut just enjoying the sensations that come with every move of Lily's hands. “If it's too distracting I’m going to stop.”

“ No! No, it's... No, I don't.” Mary grits out, “It's restricting. Bad for you.”

Lily's hands fall and Mary can't help but throw her head back into the cabinets out of frustration, “What the fuck? I answered–”

“Oh hush,” Lily chastises with a sharp pinch on the soft skin of Mary’s stomach, “stop being so fucking needy. Good girls are patient.”.

When Mary has finally pried her eyes open she sees Lily in a new position, the knife held snugly between her lips as examines her her hands. Most of the blood was gone by now, at least the bits that covered her arms, leaving just patches of pale skin and freckles. Mary wants to lick it, bite it, just as Lily had done to her. She wants to be just as violent. 

With a sigh Lily pops the knife out of her mouth, tossing it to the side once again and refusing on her hands–or more specifically her nails. Lily is a pretty girl, which was only amplified by the fact she kept herself somehow perfectly groomed at all times, including always having a fresh manicure. This week her nails are white, dotted with little pink roses. Innocent, and sweet. Everything she isn't. 

At first, Mary doesn't really get the problem. Yes, you have beautiful fucking nails, awesome! Get on with it and put your hand to use– oh. Yeah, she's starting to realize what's wrong. The woes of lesbianism. And honestly, she is fine with skipping that bit. Wouldnt bother her a bit as long as Lily just fucking does something, but Lily seems to have other plans as she brings her hand up to her face and all but rips the acrylic off with her teeth, spitting out the fake nails onto the floor. 

“Ow.” Mary hisses, cringing a bit, “Did that not hurt?”

Lily looks at her incredulously, “I'm a literal maneater. No, it did not hurt.”

“Oh,” Mary nods, “Right, sorry. Wait, are we gonna talk about that because–”

“Later .” Lily groans as she grabs Mary’s cheeks roughly and all but inhales her.

The kiss deepens quickly, hands in hair and nails clawing at skin hard enough to break. Lily is gripping everywhere, her shoulders, her waist, her breasts… Her mouth follows everywhere her hand bruises, kissing the pain away until she's grasping at her thighs and pushing them further apart.

She nips her way down Mary’s legs, taking her sweet time and ignoring every single beg. She only comes up to suck a bruise on her inner thighs, so close to where Mary wants her but dutifully neglecting it. Mary isn't even sure she’s alive anymore, her brain has become completely mush, she is only sensation. Lily has hardly even touched her and yet she feels like a single breath on just the right place could push her over the edge. 

Lily pulls away and wipes the spit from her chin, without a word she grips the bottom of Mary’s shirt and pulls it up and over, throwing it somewhere away in the abyss. Her mouth takes quick advantage of all the free skin now, biting at the sensitive skin before letting her tongue soothe the ache that came with being denied for so long.

Mary tangles her fingers in the soft strands of Lily's hair as she continues to mouth at her breasts, her back arching seeking the warmth of Lily's mouth. Lily continues to just bite, looking up at Mary with wide eyes and stained teeth, Mary’s dark skin so contrast to the white of Lily's teeth.

“Lily, Please– Please .” Mary gasps, “Please, please, please–”

Lily pulls away with a pop, “What? Tell me what you want and you can have it.”

“I, uh... Fuck..” Lily has slid her hands down to the waistband of Mary’s shorts, just the tips of her fingers venturing in.

“Keep talking.” Lily orders, “I want to hear what you want.”

And so Mary does. Babbling every incoherent thought as Lily drags her shorts, and then her panties. Even when Lily finally gives her what she's been begging for she talks, fighting through each moan and gasp as Lily puts her tongue to use, because if Mary stops talking…

There’s a harsh slap that brings Mary back to reality, Lily's glare sobering her as she realises the pleasure has stopped. Mary gasps and pants as she scrambles to get it back, willing to say or do anything.

“I'm sorry, sorry. Please, I'm sorry–Fucking christ ..”

“It's like you want me to stop,” Lily chastises as she lets her finger drag across Mary, “You just want me to get upset with you.”

“No, I don't, I'm trying I swear–” Marys cut off with a moan as Lily lets a single finger slip inside, pumping antagonizingly slow, her other hand rubbing comfortingly on her thigh,

“I think you want me to be mean to you.” Lily continues, “Don't you? You want me to deny you? Call you a fucking slut?”

“Lily, more, please–Please, I was–”

“Or do you want to be good?” Lily asks, “Take everything I give you? Like a good girl?”

“I can be good–I am.” Mary shakes her head, if she just moves her finger just there then Mary can… “I can be so good, swear.”

“Then stop fucking begging.” Lily whispers, “And take it.”

Mary has to bite her lip to stop the pleas from falling past, and as Lily slips in another finger Mary swears she's done for. The pace is slow at first, really drawing it all, but then Lily uses her tongue and she's starting to see stars. Lily can obviously feel it too, sucking Mary’s clit between her lips and humming as her finger goes deeper, curling up deliciously. 

Mary is choking, biting down on her lip so much that the split reopens and she can taste herself. She's trying her hardest not to beg, not to touch, to be good but when Lily groans around her clit she can't help but grab a handful of her hair and grind upwards. It doesn't take much after that to send her over the edge, her thighs shaking on either side of Lily's head and her eyes rolling back inside her head as waves of pleasure consume her.

When Mary is conscious of herself once again she can feel Lily pressing a soft kiss on her lower stomach, and massaging her thighs from where they have unclenched from around her head and fallen limp. Mary's face is burning and she’s sticky with sweat, her heartbeat is beginning to fall back to normal and her head is clearing up. She feels… well, kinda gross but in a really, really good way. Because nothing Lily could ever do, especially to her, could ever be bad.

“Alright, love, you're alright.” Lily is whispering as she pulls Mary flush against her own body, her hands hooking under Mary's thighs, “Come on, now.”.

Mary lets herself be pulled up, wrapping her arms around Lily's shoulders and letting her head rest upon them as she feels Lily walking them away from the kitchen. The air is cold and practically freezing on Mary’s bare skin, the only thing she can hear is the hum of the refrigerator and the pat of Lily's bare feet on the hardwood.

“Mare, open your eyes for a mo’, yeah?” Lily encourages, “Gotta put you down for a second.”

Mary hums in dissatisfaction but does open her eyes and unravel her arms from Lily's neck, allowing her to be put down on the bathroom counter. For a moment she’s confused about why they're in here, having assumed Lily was just bringing her to bed, but her questions are quickly answered when Lily flips the shower on and starts to undress herself. Mary watches intently as Lily pulls the stiff, blood-soaked clothing from her skin, it's stained her. Lily is careful with her discarded clothing, folding the garments the best she can and placing them atop the laundry hamper. Lily pulls her underwear off next, letting it fall down her legs and rest on the floor, in only her bra she comes toward Mary and turns.

“Little help?” She asks, pulling her hair over her shoulder.

Mary’s hands make quick work of the strap, unclipping the back of the bra and gently shrugging it off Lily’s shoulders, pressing soft kisses to her shoulder blades as she goes. Lily hums appreciatively, her head slipping back a little bit to give Mary room to kiss her way up her neck. Eventually, Lily's hand comes up to Mary's cheek and pulls her into a kiss, honesty it's hardly a kiss, just a brush of lips, the best part is how Lily rests her forehead on Mary's.

Lily offers her hand to Mary, helping her down off the counters as the bathroom steams up, pulling her into the soft spray of the hot water in their shower. Mary relishes in it, dipping her head back and letting her curls get wet. Lily’s hands are caressing her hips, soothing over dark bruises, she only pulls away to squirt soap on her hands and then begins to clean Mary’s skin. She massages away the sweat, blood and tears, whispering sweet things the whole time.

When it's Lily’s turn, Mary is exceedingly gentle. The water and previous activities have rid of most of the blood, but there's still enough to be noticeable. Mary and Lily switch positions, Lily now under the spray of water and Mary's hands lathered in sweet-smelling soap. Mary starts at her legs, working her way up until Lily is lying back against the hard wall of their shower and completely relaxed. In all honesty, it could turn sexual very fast, if thats what either one wanted, but the intimate nature of just taking care of one another is just as satisfying as sex would be at the moment. So Mary works her way up, taking careful consideration of every inch of Lily, until the water is stained pink and her skin is clean.

After, they wrap each other in towels, trading soft murmurs and even softer kisses. Lily eventually leads Mary to her bedroom, and without a second thought, they curl around each other under the warmth of the duvet. Mary's hands have found their way to Lliy’s hair, and Lily's arms have wrapped around Mary’s waist, her head resting on her chest. It's domestic in a way you expect from someone thats apparently.. so violent. It's something Mary wants for the rest of her life.

“Lily?”

“Hm?”

“What are you?”

Lily pushes herself up from Mary's chest, looking down at her with an expression so soft it makes her want to melt, “I haven't a clue what you mean.” Lily tucks a wet damp curl behind Mary's ear, “Maybe you should go to sleep, hm?”.

And so they do.

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

[nyoomfruits]

For the fake title thing!! What would you do with Deja Vu for Lestappen 🤍

alsdfjasldk i had to ask eby for help on this one but she said 'the five times charles tries to kiss max and the one time he finally succeeds' and now i'm YELLING

like the first time they're only four or five and they're at a karting tournament and maybe max trips and scrapes his knee and charles is like "well when i fall my mom always kisses my forehead to make me feel bette" and max is like "thats so STUPID i'm not a BABY" and charles is all >:( about it

the second time they're like eight or nine and maybe they're at a race and its kind of awkward because they're not really friends but max keeps talking to him and suddenly charles is blurting out "my brother has a girlfriend" because lorenzo just told him like two hours ago and its been on his mind all day and he needs to tell SOMEONE and max is like "okay?" and charles is like "yeah, the KISS and stuff. have you ever been kissed?" and max scrunches up his nose and is like "no" and then charles very tentatively goes "... do you WANT to" and max thinks about it and is like "no thank you" and then they run off to play with their other friends

then they're sixteen, and they're at a karting tournament and they sneak out with a few other of their karting friends at night and they sit on a roof and someone's smuggled beer with them and somehow max and charles end up sharing one and thats the first time charles actually thinks about kissing max. for real. he almost does it, because the alcohol in his veins makes him feel brave and courageous and why the fuck NOT, but then max looks at him, and the blue of his eyes is bright bright bright, and charles ends up chickening out

charles is 20, and he's made it. he's made it into f1. three years after max, sure, but he's HERE and they're not going to get rid of him that easily. he doesn't do that well in the race, but it's okay, he'll get better. he's still RACING and despite the mediocre result, when he steps out of the car he feels EUPHORIC. max gets out of the car as well, and charles spots him across parc ferme, and for an insane second charles wants to run over there, wrap his arms around him, kiss him full on the mouth. annoyed by the fact he apparently STILL hasn't gotten over THAT stupid crush, he makes his way back to the sauber motorhome.

charles is 24 and he wins the 2022 austrian grand prix. he WINS after the worst fucking streak in history. he doesnt think he's ever felt more euphoric. max sprays him with champagne on the podium, and all charles wants to do is rip the bottle out of his hands and kiss him silly. he's made peace with his crush over the last few years, even though he knows it's never going to get reciprocated. but in an insane moment of winners euphoria and champagne showers, he lets himelf think it might.

charles is 25 and he wins monaco, after the worst start he's ever had. both max and checo had to dnf for it to happen, but he doesnt even care, he's won. max is there, waiting for him near the ferrrari motorhome when he finally gets back. he expects him to be annoyed, maybe. expects him to give charles a bland 'congrats' and fuck off.

what he doesnt expect is for max to pull him behind the motorhome, press him against the wall, and kiss the everliving daylights out of him.

[roseamongroses]

"AITA FOR EDITING MY BOSS'S SUPERHERO SUIT HOLOGRAM INTO A BUNNY FIT MID FIGHT CAUSE HE DELETED MY SIMS CC FOLDER"

Idc if im the asshole tbh but I think this is funny. I (15F) am a hero intern for this fairly big company, think superhuman secret society typa shit.

The thing is because I'm more of a "in the chair" hero, I spend a fair amount of time in the Headquarter's lab. My work load swings between nothing to fucking do and non-stop crisis mode.

Somedays I literally can't afford to take normal breaks and go home This facility, despite all the money we get, is held together with a paperclip cyber-security wise (and security wise. there's one them that lowkey be stealing but i aint a snitch okay). We do have an AI program (she's great, love her) but she's hella overworked too and essentially babysits the boss in the field, in his personal life, etc.

So forgive me if during the brief moments of peace, I happen be playing the sims. I never use the work monitors for this and the AI is fully aware that this is how I take my "breaks" and is FINE with it.

But one day the boss randomly walked in while I was busy browsing some hair options and lost his shit. "Something, something, anomoly" I don't even remember what he said, all ik is he was growling n shit over my shoulder with his stank ass breath. I didn't even think he was mad at ME fr-- he's just unhealed like that, so i let that shit go this time.

i leave to grab lunch rq and come back. day goes by normally. but when i log back into MY PERSONAL COMPUTER, my shit was gone.

Obviously ik it was him. No one else cares enough to do anything like that. So i go confront him. And of course that villianous ass bitch is cracking a smile talking bout some "you can play dress up at home,". like NO???? SIR I NEVER GO HOOOMMME. IM HERE ALL THE TIME???

keep in mind i do NOT get paid for this. the most i get is experience and a therapy session on Wednesdays, thats it.

unhealthy yes, but he knows that i care about this work and he def knows my home life isn't the best anyways. so idk why he was being so petty about it.

but since we're being petty now of course i had to go lower.

he has this lil hologram suit. it's cute or whatever, super secure. but i just asked his AI for a favor and she let me go ham on the programing.

everytime the program detects his heartrate above a certain level, his costume will change. i have it cycling through a few options, but the bunny suit has been a fan favorite lately.

he's pretty pissed about it and ik he suspects me, but he doesn't want to admit that i somehow got into his superfancy tech and embaressed him. so its a lot of passive aggressiveness and for sulking now. everytime he changes it, i change it back and then some. it's fun.

it has also become a growing meme in the work gcs, tho some of the heros have tried to scold me about it. but tbh idc. none of the costumes impede his work, if anything the distraction helps him catch villians off guard. so pretty harmless, i could do worst. so im taking suggestions on how to keep ruining his day until i get bored of it (or till i get all my cc redownloaded).

update: thank you for all the outfit suggestions!! also to the grown men mad at me in my messages, check ur emails for something fun :)

[cloggedarteri]

♡ignis whos wearing his gloves not just for driving but also because he has a habit of biting and picking at his nails when he's nervous so the gloves are a countermeasure. the act of unfastening, removing and then refastening a pair of leather gloves was tedious enough to stop his pursuit.

♡ignis trying his hardest to keep up the glove routine on his own and for a good while he keeps it up. id find it very sweet if each of the boys had taken notice of ignis' little nervous tick and tried to redirect his attention or remind him to wear his gloves ( noctis notices ignis is fiddiling with his hands as hes thinking about what to cook and he comes back to bring him some gloves he keeps in his room. gladio notices that ignis is playing with the skin around his nail while hes scrolling through his phone after arms practice and places a water bottle in his hand to preoccupy him. and then prompto notices that ignis is biting his nails while hes watching the news so to distract him he asks for assistance with his homework---my boys are so sweet omg so previous) 

♡ignis finding that despite his friends proactive attempts, there are times when he cant maintain the routine. wearing gloves all day back to back becomes an annoying chore so he just...takes them off for a while, for an evening. whats the worst that could happen? he thinks surely he has enough self-control to last him a single afternoon but, by the end of the day, he's met with bloodied fingers and a dilemma. how the hell is he going to remove his piercings?

♡ignis who silently debates between powering through the pain or enduring the embarrassment of having to ask the boys for assistance--admittedly the pain seems more bearable. but then again if he did try the removal himself he'd probably be scolded for trying to hide that he'd broken his streak--scolded for his persistent independence.

♡ignis who after practice meekly walks up to gladio and asks him if hes preoccupied at the moment and if not then could he give him some assistance. and gladio looks at him with arched brows and squinted eyes, he grows tense in anticipation of something. it isnt often that ignis asks for things, for help (which he and the boys are trying to stop) so when he watches ignis avoid eye contact while holding his hands close to his chest, he knows he needs to listen. his attention move above ignis' form, seeing if anyone is watching the pair and whispers "of course iggy, whats wrong". this is humiliating. its not the first time he's gone to gladio for this kind of help but its still humiliating. "i-i need your assistance with my piercings" and tension in gladios shoulders bleed away with a sigh, "did you start biting again iggy?". and ignis can only response with a tired "yea".

♡ignis who despite having his eyes closed (to avoid looking into gladio's eyes as he rangles out the piercing) is all too aware of the pair of eyes peering at him so he acknowledges them with a, "i must ask that you two cease your gawking." and prompto is the first to run out of their cover with a quick "sorry ignis", noctis following close behind. the pair stand in front of the two on the bench and watch for a while before noctis breaks the silence

"why the hell are you digging in his nose?"

"taking his piercing out"

if ignis hadnt been trying to calm himself he would have found amusement in the way prompto had gasped, pointing at him with his mouth agape,

"you have a piercing!"

"more like piercings. hes got like 8 tucked away under his suit", responded noctis.

and somehow promptos mouth drops even further, looking back and forth between his two friends.

"10 actually. he got 2 new ones to impress his little boyfriend". and ignis doesnt have to open his eyes to know that gladio is smirking down at him because he could hear it in his tone.

♡ignis who wants to be swallowed whole and disappear from the whole situation so he pushes himself up with a hurried "okay thats enough thank you gladio I have places to be" and as ignis walks out the locker room all three of the boys say "to your boyfriends house?" and ignis is like "n-no. shut up." and then he just leaves

♡ignis whos practically races to get back to your apartment and quickly slots himself behind you, his arms around your waist. you ask "long day?" and wordlessly he nods.

[wolfiewuvs]

VENT WARNING ( swearing )

Ok this is a small vent, not sfw considering im about to swear in this because im so angry :3 so my apologies.

Venting about Chronic Illness and the Mental health support system they offer ( dont offer ) in Hospitals.

Ahem

so this past month has sucked so bad. Ive had flare ups, constant nausea, being sick at my stomach, etc. Calls with doctors are annoying, I hate doing it, even if its online idc i hate it, i hate i have to actually do that shit. I hate having to schedule appointments for shit i dont want to do, having to go into the hospital AGAIN HAHA, while I live with my sister who doesnt have to go through ANYTHING LIKE THIS. im so jealous i hate her for it. I love her but im so fucking mad that she got all the good genes. Its not fucking fair, its never fucking fair. It makes me feel like shit, absoulte shit. Not to mention she gets compliments whenever we go out, when i go out with her, and no one EVER FUCKING says shit to me. That really hurts, ontop of being self concilus of my body, health, and the overall mind crushing fear no one will ever fucking love me. My looks, my health, i have nothing to fucking offer. It hurts, it really hurts. Aside from that horrific reality, i wanna rant about mental health. When I had a huge thing happen to me in the hospital at age 12, no one offered me shit. No one helped me mentally, no one reached out and told me to ask for help. So ofc i was like yeah okay guess this is how it is, and that was the worst thing i could have ever of done for my mental state. Im in shambles, I cant reach out for help now even at 22, idk how, idk who to go to. I dont want to look weak and vulnerable cus like “hey shes been doing this since she was 12” i was a fucking kid, i was a child man. Thats so fucking unfair. Dont call me a trooper, dont praise me for doing the bare fucjing minimum, it feels so condescending and hurtful. So pitiful. I dont want their stupid fucking pity, yet now somehow i depend on it, i need it and fucjing crave it at the same time. Its pathetic. Im a horrible person, I hate myself and I hate my body, I hate doctors, I hate that they dont force you to get help, i hate that no one helped me.

I guess what i wanna say to anyone, if anyone reads this, if you need help, even if you dont feel like you do, YOU DO, AND YOU WILL. reach out and get some help, talk to someone, get a therapist. please reach out and get help. This is so exhausting. I hate showing vulnerabilty esp when it comes to my mental health, idk why im so ashamed of it. It doesnt make sense.

Reach out, get help, heal.

[depressed-teacup-inc]

A double review because at this point, the show is just repeating itself

Alright so miraculous again decided to air two episodes at once, which ok, annoying as fuck for someone that times and reviews them, but we survive either way. Let’s go!

Confrontation

Alright, I’m officially renaming “Lila episodes” into “Lila and Chloe episodes” because literally Chloe has become the new Lila! Literally nothing that they do makes sense or has any reason beyond “they’re evil and hate marinette mwahahaha” and just exist to make marinette look better in comparison

(In case you’re wondering why they’re still around and what’s the point of Chloe and Lila, it’s because the minute they’re actually complex/compelling characters or they’re gone, Marinette’s actions and behaviors become way more awful in hindsight, so the show keeps these two around to make Marinette either a martyr or a hero)

Also nothing in this episode makes sense and constantly contradicts itself?

Like the entire premise of the episode being the students getting assigned to terrible high schools, but they never wanted to do these sheets in the first place? The lucky charms are suddenly magical shields, but then why wasn’t this discovered before? You’re telling me no one thought to encourage petiole away from being akumatized? And also, Lila’s plan is so flimsy and held by the thread that the students will just assume marinette did this for… basically no reason because they’re graduating

Also I don’t care what the episode argues, Damocles, André and Bustier all were shit role models and support systems for the students, and were a big reason as to why students were angry and akumatized in the first place, but sure let’s just pretend they’re good last minute you guys!

Anyways this sucked, next episode

Collusion

So… Adrien has officially been character assassinated by the show to have no personality beyond being love interest!

This happened in the last episode too, but you see it here so much as well! Like literally every minute of Adrien’s screentime, and every time he talks is somehow connected to marinette! Literally his father is sending him away to a private school in London (which honestly at this point with what marinette did to him, take the chance and run baby) which is supposed to be his worst nightmare, and rather then think about his responsibility to Paris as Chat Noir or his friends that he will leave or his sense of autonomy, all he can think about is “I’ll be separated from marinette🥺”

HE LITERALLY SAID HE ISNT SURE OF ANYTHING ABOUT HIS LIFE OR WHO HE IS BUT ALL HE KNOWS IS THAT HES IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL AND THATS THE ONE THINGS FOING IN HIS LIFE, LOOK AT WHAT THEYVE DONE TO MY BOYYYYYY!!!

And wasn’t perfect the very thing Adrien didn’t want to be perceived of that marinette constantly calls him? It’s giving putting someone on a pedestal and not seeing them for what they really are (the love square is literally high school sweethearts marrying tans divorcing in like 3 years)

Anyways, grieving Adrien’s personality aside, Chloe is demonized to the point of unrealistic, the one teacher who was actually being a decent teacher and not contributing to a system of corruption is now demonized out of nowhere too, Lila literally makes no sense (like that’s apparently not even her name? She goes by cerise in another school, and she has three moms WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS THIS SHOW ANYMORE), Chloe is mayor now for some fucking reason (this is illegal), and André gets dumb redemption arc out of nowhere.

Mentioned I’m in the previous episodes too, but André is not a good person and the show keeps pretending he is? Like girl, man is confirmed to do corrupt horrific politician stuff, has had the chance to help and actually raise his daughter for years, but chose to neglect her after her mother abandoned her, and now pretends to be a good parent to a child that’s not even his own to feel better about himself, AND YET IM SUPPOSED TO THINK HES SYMPATHETIC AND GOOD? FUCK THAT!

Also real quick, what the fuck is up with the mayor controlling the school? Like initially I was think the reason Chloe has leverage in the school is that her dad, through big donations, basically controls the school board and who gets to do what, but it seems he’s just? Using his mayor powers? Like girl that’s not how being mayor works, you can’t just fire anyone like that, this is a very bad lesson in politics

But yeah. Both episodes awful.

The only good things I can take from here is that there’s finally a canonical lesbian couple that wasn’t constantly queerbated (I love Julerose, and don’t like Zoenette, but they’re both constantly vague and easily censored) and Juleka got some screen time.

(Also Luka and Adrien are officially in the “being Marinette’s love square character assassinated me till the point I have no personality outside of it” club)

Also if you’re wondering why I didn’t mention anything about the fights? They’re dumb, last like five minutes and take a back sit just to tell you how awful Lila and Chloe are.

[inventedfangirling]

What goes on inside Pat's head in eps 6/7?

Or what happens when the brain rot takes over.

Alright so without further ado let me get into the fact that i can't believe this is the first time im seriously thinking about it but what the hell must have all been going through Pat's mind during that gap between their first kiss, their bet on the beach and even beyond that up to that post curry-feeding kiss after his dramatic re-entry as Riam?

What was all going through his head? We know he's confused and hurt and frustrated, but he also doesn't want to push too much, but he also wants to know what goes on in Pran's head real bad and then the resolution he gets is that Pran clearly seems to like him too, like a heck of a lot, and his extreme backtracking so far back they cant even have a conversation ironically goes to prove just how much Pran was going though and now they have a bet and on the other end there is a relationship....

....there is a relationship right?

We know pat is sure of his own feelings. He likes pran. He wants to be with Pran. He wholeheartedly wants to go all in. And while he knows Pran likes him back, he knows that pran isn't sure (at that point) if he wants to even go in, let alone ALL in. So then what must have been his mindset while being the goofy boy who was constantly on teasing mode?

What was behind that smiling exterior, because one thing that the usually confident Pat is insecure about is when it comes to Pran and especially given what happened after the kiss, he must have become at least a tiny bit more wary? (Not really though cos we know Pat is a simple straightforward guy, and he knows that nobody not even his Pran can kiss like THAT without feelings, a guy who goes for what he wants and often acts before he thinks but for the sake of my spiral lets pretend) So then behind that exterior what was his best case scenario? They start dating. But what was his worst case scenario cos for pran, we know he chose the worst (in terms of their relationship) way out cos that seemed like the only one until pat refused to leave without talking about it.

But Pat won't make that choice to cut off ties (why the heck would he) and now that Pran is ready for the bet, Pran wouldn't either right? But what if pran decides to call off the bet in between? He wouldn't but what if pat randomly has that thought...in some lonely/ insecure moment what if that is one of the horrifyingly depressing thought he has...what if pran likes him more than everything and even that isnt enough because he just can't bring himself to take that step somehow?

Where does that leave him? Did he even have a backup plan for what would happen if their bet didn't work out? If pran didn't come around? What was he gonna do? Were they going to ignore each other? Not talk anymore? Not play around any more? What if each time he comes to play, underneath all the mischief and fun what if there's that underlying fear of what if it's the last time?

What if it's the last time i'm in his room? What if it's the last time he offers to feed me curry? What if it's the last time I get to help him out with something? What if it's the last time he makes me dinner? What if it's the last time he comes close when i ask him to? What if it's the last time he traces hearts on my face? What if it's the last time i get to touch him? What if it's the last time he looks at me like that?

Are we even comprehending the level of angsty mess Pat could have been that whole time? But he wouldn't be the Pat we (think we) know and love. He loves and he loves loud and he isn't thinking too much beyond their competition and getting Pran comfortable enough to get into a relationship (i could write whole essays about the level of emotional intelligence Pat shows when it comes to Pran especially in episodes 6 & 7, thats not what this is about tho) BUT we all have bad days and negative doom spirals.. who is to say Pat didn't!

Of course it probably wasn't as bad or dramatic as i am making it sound like cos Pran does reciprocate and Pran is not at all attempting to hide (in the same way we see pre episode 6) his feelings for Pat or his investment in the bet but still as long as the bet was on, nothing was set in stone. And also let's not forget just how much it must have hurt when wai came to hand off Pran's guitar. Pran's guitar that Pat had saved and polished and kept safe for him. The one he ran after him, holding. The one he kept safe in his home. His one piece of Pran that he held onto those 3 long depressingly lonely years. And Pran just gave it away to Wai like that? Wai? WAI!??

Look at my poor baby sitting there all alone with his thoughts, his heart breaking little by little and even then staying silent just so that he won't create trouble for Pran. Who is gonna answer for all of that!??? huh?

* Ooh boy and here come those heart squeezes again I CANT DO THIS ARGHHHH *

And despite all that he kept a mostly cheery exterior, trying to keep it fun and light for pran as much as possible?!?

Not all undermining the fact that patpran did have a heck of a lot of fun during their bet era, several essays worth of fun and meanings to unpack but that's not the point of this post

Like i'm sorry but there is simply no better man (boyfriend). But also no cos 1. he's fictional duh, there is NO one like pat irl, he's just an impossible version of a man cos despite all his flaws he really did what he did and 2. its actually not healthy what he's doing is it? Repressing his anxieties and radiating joy, equally bad as repressing joy and radiating anxiety like pran was doing, but (argh to sweep it all under the rug the way i usually do unlike patpran who talk shit though and therefore ofc they ended up happy)...

Because of course despite their anxieties both of them knew they could trust in each other and in their feelings for each other, and yes they built that trust over the years but it also was especially given impetus during the bet era so the bet was eventually going to have only a happy outcome but human brains can be weird and can play tricks on you and i was just thinking of the possibility of a time when pat's brain may have tricked him into a whole spiral and what if the bet wasn't as fun for pat as i initially thought it was and now here we are.

[swiftfootedachilles]

Hi! You asked for an ask and I’m always down to ask so…do you have any headcanons about Mickey’s time in Mexico?

wow you managed to ask me about the only thing of this show that i HAVENT rlly thought about so hats off to you

uhhhh okay first, PRE-MEXICO. i think mickey broke out in the first place because he knew ian wasnt gonna wait for him. i think if ian didnt break up with him and dedicated himself to being a prison boyfriend (?) mickey wouldve stayed in. (i also think he wouldve found a skeevy defense lawyer who owes the milkoviches some debts and appealed his conviction bc lets be honest its total bullshit that he got locked away just based off sammi's unreliable testimony. like where the fuck was debby to lie under oath and say mickey was with her the whole time and she saw sammi take more pills than usual and go outside to move things. sorry im losing the plot this is NOT the time to discuss my s6 rewrite.) mikey haf absolutely no reason to stay in prison, stay in chicago, so i think after nearly 2 years of no visits from ian he just gave the fuck up. why not try to escape? hes smart, he can conjure up a decent plan, right? worst case scenario he goes back to prison, which didnt really fucking matter to him bc he was in prison anyway and he just. didnt care anymore.

so, he broke out and contacted ian ina last-ditch effort to get the love of his life back. he knew ian wasnt gonna wait for him, but at the docks hes obviously still shocked to hear ian moved on fast enough to have a boyfriend already. then ian agreed to go to mexico and mickey was SO READY to start LIVING HIS LIFE. he thought that would be IT. him and his lover in mexico at the beach, getting away from all the bad memories of chicago and having a place to START OVER!!! then ian changed his mind last minute and mickey was fucking CRUSHED. AGAIN. and all of a sudden now hes in mexico alone and all his previous plans went out the fucking window because he totally didnt spend the past few days rearranging his plans to revolve around ian being with him.

i dont really think a lot about mickey's time in mexico. i think he was sad. i think he was angry. i think he just did what he could to stay alive and try to move on but he never really didnt. i think he kept his head low and did his job in the cartel and tried to learn spanish but it was too fucking hard so he gave up on that pretty quickly and attached himself to the multilingual members of the gang. i definitely dont think he had a boyfriend. im sure he fucked around with other guys, but i also think he spent more time laying in his shitty apartment that he shared with like 4 other guys trying not to cry too loud thinking about what could have been.

i also dont think he worked for el chapo lmfao sorry to anyone who thinks that but the timeline doesnt even line up. and if he somehow did have a part in taking down el chapo he wouldve been put in witness protection. he probably wouldve gotten killed anyway tho

my dumb ass didnt realize he got a new tattoo until like deep into s10 and i gaslit myself into thinking it was always there LMFAO but i love that he got another tattoo there. i like to think this one was with a clean needle. i dont think this happened in canon, but MY mickey wouldve gotten a tongue piercing! perhaps other ones too. a couple other tattoos, a cartilage piercing, an eyebrow, his nipples. idk. just to change his appearance more. yeah. thats. the only reason.

anyway i think he got back into the US by working with an undercover cop and being a part of a pre-planned drug bust that included him being "arrested" and making it seem like he got extradited to the US only for being wanted. if he wouldve just waltzed into a precinct and said "hey i got dirt on this cartel" his as wouldve been killed so quickly. it needed to be a lot more covert so the other members didnt catch on and get rid of him. i do think eventually they probably figured out he was the anonymous witness whose interviewed were used in trial, which is why when he gets released in s10 the CO tells him the cartel is looking for him. sorry im going all Law & Order here talking about a s6 trial and now a trial against the cartel i need to stop

[predoom]

ohoneohone

Saturday, September 24th, 2005 2:14 pm but i am too weak to be your cure night started out strong. got kinda wack. want to go on a date to the corpse bride? (157 Comments |Comment on this) Tuesday, September 20th, 2005 12:56 pm ruckus juice dear demar,

i am sorry.

sugar in chicago. Monday, September 19th, 2005 12:19 pm mike murphy all up in demar hamiltons ass went to the alk3/my chemical bromance with demar and nick on the dick. pretty hilarious. the bands let the good times roll. went by pizza metro and made awesome jokes. and ate like 60 bucks worth of super flat pizza. startling revelations about demars life. i like hanging with old friends. down the street from the girl to trevia. kinda chill. matt skiba talked to me about clandestine. pretty amazing. we are wearing all black coming up hats. greg let me dj for a minute and i played some faint and refused. P-Unit. people at my house when i went home. freaked me out. sleeeepover prince. search the net and you can find some amazing pictures. Saturday, September 17th, 2005 4:52 pm reNICKulous woah. got my g.i. joe aircraft carrier in the mail yesterday. its seven feet long. thats like me and patrick stacked on top of eachother. ate a box of life cereal yesterday. kinda gross. somehow with all the chaos of everything i got normal again. its weird to me that 50cents mom is a lesbian. i dunno why. it totally fits and totally doesn't. just like everything else. i saw the motorola commercial we were asked to be in with madonna. yeah thats right- "sell out boy" turned one down cause it wasn't the right situation. haha. we would have had to cancel shows and all- just wasn't right. i just wanted to meet the material girl. we don't do everything were asked to. waited out going over to watch demar pass out and get kissed. instead went to the city. carnival life. we bought ice cream shoes online from hongkong. get jealous. counted freckles. yawn. patrick came over today. we worked on some secret stuff. him and his gee eff are way too lame and cute. i cant wait to see corpse bride. awesomeness. just waiting for tonight to happen.

oops comments wahahaha. Thursday, September 15th, 2005 11:27 pm this week he's mopping floors, next week he's on fries early bird gets the worm. took a headache for my tylenol. went to the cover shoot for spin magazine. it was ridiculous as always. i put myself into the worst clothes i could find cause thats just funny to me on the inside. nickplan and drunkmar showed up cause they keep it the realest. got weird emails all day. pretty standard. someday we'll be nostalgic for right now. but until then you can put it in a pinebox. its funny the mistakes you realize you are making as you go about things. cause those are the worst. it only makes sense when you are that close. otherwise its blurry and filled with lies. and you can say whatever you want but in the dark i know what you look like and think- and no one else does. nothing that needs to be spoken of. im the kind of kid that will go to the goddamned end. file me under: fucking speechless. right to her house. wow, it's been a month. we don't talk. it goes without saying. freckles. kinda dreamy. and i ain't too hard on the eyes. only those arms make it okay. i just don't care anymore. this is the three year boy. this is the lover boy. this is the keeper. the is the one that got away. i drop records, not names. so i'm not letting you in. buzznet updated. please leave my friends or whatever alone, because i have- and im sick of hearing about it. raise your hand if you're excited for fall tour. time to become the person i was supposed to be.

Current Music: you make me wanna lala 12:59 am "growing uuuuuuuuup, i guess i am my own better half" what were they thinking? i'm tired. ate for the first time in what feels like forever today. you know gotta keep that charm. what does that even mean? actually have to get up at 9am for a photo shoot tommorrow. the wackest. i guess it could be worse. i could have to sell stuff or work in a factory instead of just getting laughed at by some dumb photographer cause we don't know how to pose right. flashflashflash. goddamn the new panic at the disco record makes me feel okay in any situation. only two people in the entire world know how it goes. its kind of funny that i get to be one of them. but its strange the way only one person makes you feel electric. like you were meant to be three inches away from them always. but then its gone. or they are. went to green street hooligans. ate your popcorn and drank your soda. cause im kinda a baby. movie dates are funny cause you either watch the movie or you talk the whole time. both are kind of a let down. fall is definitely hug season. bring it on. who knows how it turns out. don't believe the hype. i didn't overdose. this really is me typing.

Tuesday, September 13th, 2005 10:39 pm difficult takes a day, impossible takes a week. oh no oh no. i don't get it but then i don't think i am supposed to. today woke up and bought my friend shoes cause she's rad and i like buying stuff for my friends. i am sick, but it's gonna be okay. i love going to bars with my friends and ordering 5 dollar sprites. yeah i'm that guy. right now i wish this was a lyric i wrote: "i dunno why other rappers try and dis you. cause even my superficial raps are super official". i'm supposed to be waiting by the phone but i'm always at front desk in the hotel lobby. i told my friend that i want to get super big bling jesus necklace- they said it doesn't make sense because im not super into jesus- but i told them that was the whole point. i sing the blues just for the covers of magazines. oh yeah. the rest of my day. ive been going out into the real world alot lately. the sun hurts my eyes but you're making me grin. went to joes house in boy's town- its like one inch big and filled with 80 million things. ebay says that my g.i. joe aircraft carrier is in the mail. but who knows cause i tell people shit is in the mail all the time. its like waking up from a dream and not being sure. for sure. our new video is pretty sweet. hung with the bestest. it feels nice outside. time to go play. i think i am going to be vegetarian again, then probably vegan. cause it just feels right. like you. all i do is watch thundercats and crush hard. what a life.

Current Music: christina milian 2:22 am go right on reds, get left at altars i want to write a "hey momma" song for the emo world. it smells like coffee and rain everywhere today for me.

i have lost all respect for you. before you make accusations, check the scoreboard sweetheart.

just when you are about to give up sometimes a light comes on. like its the only one out there. and when you are unhappy they are a shoulder. and they make you laugh when you get thrown out the window like trash from a car. old friends bend. you got me smiling like it was a dream. and i am slowly letting everything else go.

let go let go.

ive got a crush.

[thegeminisage]

sigh. tng update time. tuesday we did "sarek" and last night i sadly watched "menage a troi" on my own.

sarek: the fact that they mentioned his "son's wedding" once near the beginning and never clarified distracted me for the entire episode until i could google it. and google gave me no answers except to say that he married saavik in some semi-canonical novel. i hate that because saavik was his student (i guess aos had him right after all...) and also because of whatever horrible and weird thing they had going on in search for spock. WHICH BY THE WAY BROKE PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED CANON don't get me started

anyway, aside from that, this episode fucking ruled

i love the concept of vulcan dementia just being vulcan emotionalism. i wonder if it's genetic. i wonder if spock would've gotten it had he lived longer. i kind of wish spock had been the one following sarek around containing his emotions even though i wouldn't wish that fate on him cuz then i would've gotten to see him :(

less thrilled about the new wife. they could have had someone else play amanda if her real actress wasn't available (and she wasn't dead, i checked). if people live for like 150 years in the future there simply wasn't long enough for her to die and for sarek to have gotten remarried, especially if vulcans bond for life (which i guess was implied in some interpretations of amok time but not canonized).

actually, if sarek had once been bonded to someone as spock was to t'pring, how did HE wind up with a human wife...did he get remarried so quickly because of pon farr or does that wind down as vulcans get older...so many questions which will never be answered

anyway, i loved the sudden bursts of anger, it was so fun. uh except for beverly hitting her kid but it wasnt Her so we can move past it. especially thrilled with riker and picard almost getting into it

SAREK CRYING? ok king. i wish we had gotten to see spock cry and not in that deleted tmp scene

i loved picard's nerdery of him also. that makes the mind meld very fun. the rituals are literally intricate. also, "we shall always have the best parts of each other inside of us" i HOPE THATS TRUE FOR SPOCK AND KIRK AND BONES. i read an excerpt from a novel. well. i don't want to talk about it

anyway, picard calling out to spock and amanda...maybe i did well up a little at the mention of spock's name. who can say!!!!!

menage a troi: SSSSSSSSSSSIGH

ok, so i grabbed this one by myself because the summary looked bad and we're trying to finish s3 before chr*stmas fucks up all our social plans. no matter how bad the summary was, the actual episode was WORSE

i have three good things to say about this episode actually. the first was that i like that deanna yelled at her mom again, although this time i know better than to expect it to stick. the second was that i LOOOOVED deanna and riker's little date outfits. extremely charming. and finally i loved when lwaxana handed riker that horrible looking vegetable and he ate it with only mild reluctance. king is literally down to clown.

the rest of this ep was garbage. i know we didn't actually see any sex happen but i feel like they implied pretty heavily that the ferengi fucked her, possibly even multiple times. and like it's funny! ha ha ha look at the crazy situations this eccentric lady gets into! ha ha ha look at her and deanna having to run around naked!

somehow, this was the worst lwaxana episode yet. idk why i actually expected them to do a little better in s3. like, if i was gene roddenberry and they did this to my WIFE on MY SHOW. but you can put even odds on it being his idea or him getting off to it. his horrible little fetish fuel.

cherry on top was lwaxana's self-sacrifice at the end where she stays behind to let deanna escape sex slavery or whatever. which one felt like a classic narcissist parent thing and two wasn't even real - it was an excuse for picard to do badly-acted poetry on the bridge to pretend to be her jealous lover to get them to let her go. and then after all that she goes right back to sexually harassing HIM. because it's funny! ha ha ha!

anyway, it's a shame they had wes's little arc as the b plot of this episode because it was fine and feels important continuity wise, and yet every list on earth will rightfully suggest this episode get skipped because it fucking sucks.

tonight, the last two episodes of season 3 - "transfigurations" and "best of both worlds part i." i already know picard gets BORGED in the finale because i've known that since i was a baby and i am WAITING!!! they fucjing blue balled me in the first borg ep and i am MORE than ready for some brainwashed cyborg action. palette cleanser after lwaxana troi episodes.

[sequinsmile-x]

Home - Chapter One

Revenge - (re·​venge: Noun.)

The action of hurting or harming someone in return for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands.

She'd been comfortable and safe for so long that she'd allowed herself how to forget how it felt to be afraid.

A sequel to The Way Home

-x-

Well, it took longer to get this out than I hoped, but better late than never! I love The Way Home and I am loving writing this version of them.

A quick shout out to @aubreyprc who, no matter how much she screams at me over the next several weeks for this fic, was involved in planting this very firmly in my head when we were in Blackpool for the weekend last year.

I do have some ideas for a series of one shots between The Way Home and this fic. Just a series of moments in the 16 years between them meeting in college and the start of this sequel. Let me know if you'd be interested!

Chapters will be posted every Friday.

-x-

Words: 3.1k

A full list of warnings can be found on the Series Master List.

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Fall 2007 - Arlington, VA 

Emily wakes up to the feeling of small hands pressing into her cheeks and the comforting scent of her daughter's shampoo surrounding her.

“Daddy says it’s time to wake up, Mama,” Eleanor says, her attempts at whispering somehow louder than her usual voice. She opens her eyes and looks at her little girl, who smiles widely at her, “Morning!”

“Good morning, Ellie,” she replies, her voice rough with sleep, and she looks briefly at her husband's side of the bed and is unsurprised to find it empty, the sheets cold to the touch indicating that he’d been up for a while. He’d always been a morning person, even back when they were in college, and it was something he had passed on to their five-year-old who was already dressed and ready for school, her hair in perfect braids that Aaron had clearly paid close attention to. “You look pretty.” 

The little girl beams, her smile getting impossibly wider, “Like Mommy.” 

Emily chuckles, knowing that was absolutely not the case right now. That she likely had remnants of yesterday's mascara smudged under her eyes, never quite coming all the way off no matter how many steps there were in her skincare routine, and her hair would be a mess. 

“Thank you, sweet girl,” she says, sitting up just enough to pull Eleanor into her arms, something that the little girl needs no encouragement for. It had become part of their morning routine all the way back when Eleanor was a tiny dot of a thing, content to be in her mother’s embrace for a while before the day began. Emily knows thats why Aaron would always send their daughter up to wake her up just a few minutes before her alarm went off, so they could start the day in a way they both loved. 

It was strange to think that Eleanor was now the age Jack had been when Emily first met him. She hoped that the years would go slower this time around, that it wouldn’t feel like she blinked and then had a teenager going off to college, but time had always been a thief and she knew it always would be. The vague fear that Eleanor would be her only chance at motherhood always lingered in the back of her mind. The losses she’d had before she had her little girl were enough to make her anxious just at the prospect of getting pregnant again, but they were trying. Both she and Aaron keen to have one more child. 

She pulls her daughter closer just at the thought of it, excitement and anxiety bubbling in her stomach in equal measure, and she smiles as Eleanor wraps both of her hands around one of hers before she starts to trace one of her fingers up and down the scar on Emily’s forearm. The now thin silver line stretched from her wrist to halfway to her elbow. It was the only physical scar she had from that time, the only reminder etched onto her skin. She always found herself oddly grateful for it, a physical manifestation of the worst time of her life, because it was proof it happened.

Something she needed when the mental scars, which she knew would never fully heal, reared their ugly heads. She hated that every time her throat was sore she could feel Ian’s hand wrapped around it. That whenever the first sign of a cold would enter their home, Eleanor coughing as she came home from school, she knew it was only a matter of time until she’d feel the familiar scratchiness. The nightmares would follow shortly afterwards, they always did, and she’d wake up to Aaron talking her through it, knowing from experience that if he touched her before she was fully awake and aware of her surroundings he’d only add to the torture her subconscious had lined up for her. A grim showreel of things she wishes she could forget. 

The hardest thing to grabble with was that she couldn’t wish she had never met Ian, because without him she never would have moved and met Aaron. It felt like a cruel twist of fate, a joke of sorts from the universe that had no punchline, that the very worst thing that had ever happened to her had led her to the best. 

The alarm on her nightstand rings out, and she reaches to turn it off before pressing a kiss to Eleanor’s forehead, “Ok honey, you go downstairs and tell Daddy I’ll be there in a minute.” 

Eleanor nods before she scrambles off the bed, talking over her shoulder as she goes, “Love you, Mommy.” 

“Love you too, Ellie,” she replies, smiling as she watches her daughter run down the hallway, her footsteps slowing as she reaches the stairs. Emily stretches her arms over her head as she climbs out of bed, sighing as she rubs at her eyes before she leaves the room, ready to go downstairs and join her family. 

She yawns as she walks into the kitchen, distracted by the thought of work and everything she needed to get done that day, and she almost walks straight into Aaron. He stops her just in time, his hands on her shoulders as he holds her in place, a wry smile on his face. 

“What is it with you and always walking into me?” He asks, his tired eyes sparkling with love for her as he leans down to kiss her cheek. 

She rolls her eyes at him but can’t help but smile as she remembers the first time they met. How she’d walked straight into him, distracted by moving to a new town and the things she’d never quite been able to escape. He always brought it up, exaggerating how they met for all of their friends, false claims that she’d literally knocked him over, the first impression so strong he’d had no choice but to fall in love with her. 

“Any excuse to get caught by you,” she quips, winking at him as he kisses her cheek before he lets her go, “Do you have a busy day today?” 

Ever since he’d successfully prosecuted George Foyet a year ago he’d become one of the Attorney General’s favourite prosecutors and was now often given the most high-profile cases in DC. It was everything he’d trained for, those long nights in law school when she’d switch between helping him study and distracting him to give him a well-earned break, paying off. There were rumours the Attorney General was training him up to eventually replace him. 

“No court, thankfully,” he replies, turning to the kitchen counter where Eleanor was sitting to finish pouring the milk into her cereal, “But a lot of casework to look over,” he puts their daughter’s cereal in front of her and then turns back to Emily, “You?”

“Just a lot of meetings,” she says, grimacing as she thinks of her day. There were times when she missed being more actively involved in social work, but mostly she was grateful for what she did now. Working closely with government officials to help create policies to protect the most vulnerable in society. It was a change she made when she had Eleanor, something that allowed her to spend more time with her family. “But I’ll be able to pick up this one from school,” she says, playing with one of Eleanor’s braids, “How about you sweet girl? Busy day at Kindergarten?” 

Eleanor shrugs and continues eating her cereal. Aaron chuckles and kisses his wife’s temple before moving past her to make coffee.

“You go get ready, sweetheart,” he says, smiling at his wife, “I’ll get your breakfast sorted.” She nods and turns to head back upstairs, ready for the day ahead of her. 

When she looked back on that morning in the coming weeks, she was grateful for it, for the last taste of normalcy before their lives were turned upside down.

___

“A spokesperson for Red Onion State Prison has confirmed that the riot is now under control-”

Emily switches the tv channel from the news, something Aaron liked to watch when he couldn’t sleep, to a cartoon for Eleanor.

“Right, sweet girl,” she says, kissing the top of her daughter's head as the little girl settles on the couch, “Mommy has to do a little bit more work, ok? And then when Daddy gets home we’ll have dinner.” 

Eleanor nods, her focus on the tv already and Emily kisses her head once more before she heads towards the dining room. She sits at the table, about to read over some paperwork, when she hears the doorbell ringing. She stands up and shakes her head at the thundering footsteps from her daughter, who seemed to always create a lot of noise despite being small, running down the hallway. She reaches the front door seconds before Eleanor and raises her eyebrow at her. 

“Eleanor Brooke Hotchner, what have we said about you answering the door?” She says, grateful that she’s able to hide her amusement at her daughter's enthusiasm. Eleanor was such a happy little girl, always excited to see the people she loves, and Emily couldn’t help but wonder what she herself could have been like if Elizabeth had been a little more like the mother Emily always strove to be. 

Eleanor looks up at her, her eyes wide in a way that Aaron always said she got from her, “Not to do it because it could be anybody.” 

“Exactly,” Emily says, squeezing her shoulder, “We’ve got to be safe, right?” 

“But Mommy it’s not just anybody it’s Aunt Haley, I saw her car,” Eleanor exclaims, almost bouncing back and forth on her feet with excitement at the prospect of seeing her favourite person outside of her direct family. 

Emily shakes her head, and smiles, “Well, I guess we’d better let her in then, huh?” She turns and opens the door, smiling at her friend as she comes into view, her arms loaded with Pyrex dishes, “Hi Haley, sorry about that.”

“It’s ok,” she chuckles, the sparkle in her eyes letting her know she’s heard their conversation from outside, she looks down at Eleanor who smiles and rushes to Haley, wrapping her arms tight around her, “Well hello to you too, El.” 

“Let Aunt Haley in the door at least, Ellie,” Emily says, reaching to take the food Haley had brought for them from her hands, “I’ll take these,” she says gratefully, “You know, you really don’t have to cook for us.” 

“Well someone has to,” Haley replies, wrapping her arms around Eleanor and guiding her into the house, closing the door behind her, “Neither you nor Aaron can cook anything apart from boxed Mac and Cheese,” she quips, following Emily into the kitchen, Eleanor still wrapped around her, “Besides, it took my mind off of things.” 

Emily pauses just before she puts the casseroles down and she turns to look at her friend. There was tension in her shoulders and a sense of sadness in her eyes, her smile a little tighter than usual, and Emily sighs. 

“Ellie,” she says, turning her attention to her daughter, “Why don’t you go play for a little bit and then find all those drawings you did at school for Aunt Haley? I know she’d love to see them.”

“You did drawings for me?” Haley says, looking down at Ellie, her voice full of enthusiasm that was only partially exaggerated, “I’m excited to see them.”

“Ok!” Eleanor says, dislodging herself from Haley and running out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her bedroom. As soon as she is out of earshot, Emily leans against the kitchen counter and looks at Haley.

“Is this a glass of wine conversation or a coffee conversation?” She asks, and Haley chuckles humourlessly, sitting on one of the stools at the counter. 

“Rick moved out today.” 

Emily groans sympathetically, “Wine it is,” she says, placing her hand over her friends before she turns to the fridge, “What happened?” 

Haley had met Rick several years ago at a work conference, and they’d hit it off. At first, Aaron had been unsure about the relationship, worried about his son spending so much time with someone he barely knew, and Emily had been the one to point out he’d moved on to her. That Haley had accepted someone else in her son’s life even if the road to where they were now was rocky at the start. Their friendship was forged the day Haley saved her from Ian. A case of being in the right place at the right time that led to where they were now - Emily and Aaron’s daughter calling the woman he once would have married ‘aunt.’ 

More recently, especially since Jack had left for college the year before, Haley’s relationship with Rick had seemed to slowly unravel. Ever since Haley was twenty her entire life had been about her son and doing the best for him that she could, and all of a sudden she had time to do what she wanted. It’s when the differences between her and the man she’d been with for 6 years started to show. She wanted to get married, but he didn’t. He wanted a kid, and she didn’t want to start all over again. 

“We just…didn’t want the same things,” Haley says, smiling gratefully when Emily passes her a glass of wine, “He kept talking about kids and I’ve been so clear from the start that I didn’t want any more. I guess he thought I’d change my mind.” 

“I’m sorry Haley,” she says, sitting next to her, “I know you love him.”

“Yeah,” she chokes out, “I do,” she shakes her head at herself and has a sip of wine, “I’m sure he’ll move on. Find someone a bit younger to have a family with, I seem to be a good practise long term girlfriend” she looks at Emily, and clears her throat, “Sorry, no offence.” 

Emily smiles, “None taken.” 

It was easy to forget sometimes that Haley and Aaron had ever been together. She wondered if it was because she’d never seen it. She’d come into their lives after they had already broken up. There were no romantic feelings between the two of them, but Emily knew that Aaron loved Haley as a friend and the mother of his son. 

“Anyway, I came here to distract myself,” Haley says, “How are you?” 

Emily blows out a breath, “Ok, I guess,” she replies, shrugging, “Work is pretty steady at the moment. Aaron is doing really well with his work.” Haley smiles at her indulgently, her eyebrow raised, “Are you really asking me about the baby thing?” 

“Yes,” she answers immediately, her eyes sparkling, “I don’t want a baby of my own but I want to spoil another one of yours.” 

Emily shakes her head, “Well, we are trying,” she says, “And if…” she swallows thickly, a tight smile spreading over her face, “If it happens you will be the first to know. Apart from Aaron of course.” 

Haley reaches out and places her hand on Emily’s arm, “It will happen. I’m sure of it.”

Emily chuckles, “Well I’m glad someone is.” 

A door flys open upstairs, and the time Eleanor had allowed them as she played had clearly come to an end. 

“I found the drawings!” 

Emily and Haley exchange a soft smile and then Emily shouts towards the stairs, “Come and show us, sweetie.”

___

Aaron picks up his briefcase and rolls his neck as he prepares to leave his office, excited to get home to his wife and daughter. 

He’s barely made it into the hallway, still standing in the doorway of his office, when one of the assistant attorneys approaches him, a grim look on his face. 

“Grant,” Aaron groans, “Please don’t tell me it’s a new case. Surely it can wait until morning. I’d quite like to get home.” 

“No,” Grant says, shaking his head, “Nothing like that. Have you heard about what happened at Red Onion State?” 

Aaron nods, “Yes, there was a riot. It’s being reported that it’s all under control now.” 

“It is,” Grant replies, clearly choosing his words carefully, clearing his throat, “But…two prisoners escaped. Cell mates. The prison guards believe that the riot was started so they could get out.” 

Aaron feels a pit form in his stomach and his chest gets tighter, a sense of foreboding that he can’t describe washing over him. 

“Why are you telling me this? Is it someone I put away?” 

Grant nods, “It’s George Foyet.” 

Aaron sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose before looking back at the other man, “He escaped custody before his trial, he knows what he’s doing,” he shakes his head, “I assume they’ve followed the usual procedures.” 

“State troopers are checking all vehicles in the surrounding area and every cop has an up-to-date photo of him, we’ll capture him.” 

“Ok, thank you,” Aaron says, “I appreciate the heads up, at least I can tell my wife before it ends up on the news.”

George Foyet had made some pretty distinct threats towards Aaron when they were in court, and had twice had to be removed from the courtroom by order of the judge. When he told Emily about it she’d worried. Concerned that on the off chance Foyet did get found not guilty, he’d come after Aaron. 

“Of course,” Grant says, and he turns to leave, but Aaron stops him. 

“Who was the other prisoner? His cellmate?” Aaron asks out of curiosity, sure that whoever it was wouldn’t compare to the danger that George Foyet would pose to the general public. 

“Oh,” Grant says, “Some guy who got put away for attempting to murder his ex-girlfriend,” he adds, shaking his head, “He tried to choke her to death in the middle of the street.” 

Aaron feels everything slow down around him, his throat going dry as he tries to swallow against the fear that climbs up it, the taste of it bitter against his tongue. 

He hoped he was wrong. That his instincts that were kicking in were incorrect. He couldn’t tell her this. Couldn’t tell his wife that the man who had caused her such pain, who still managed to sneak his way into her subconscious and haunt her in her dreams even after all this time, had escaped. It couldn’t be him. 

It couldn’t be him.

“What’s his name?” He demands, his fists tight by his side and his jaw tense. 

“Uh, I’d have to look again, he’s not-”

It couldn’t be him.

“His name, Anderson.” 

Grant flinches at the use of his surname, at the way Aaron spits it out like its poison, “It’s Irish. Donavon? No. Doyle. His name is Ian Doyle.” 

-x-

Tag list:

@ssa-sparks, @lukeclvez, @lyds102, @glockleveledatyourcrotch, @hotchnissenthusiast, @danadeservesadrink, @ssamorganhotchner, @emilyprentissisgod, @notagentprentiss, @freesiasandfics, @emilyshotchniss, @thecharmingart, @paulitalblond, @hancydrewfan, @camille093, @whitecrossgirl, @moonlight-2-6, @rawr-jess, @florenceremingtonthethird, @jareauswife, @ms-black-a, @beebeelank, @aubreyprc, @zipzapboingg, @psychopath-at-heart, @criminalmindsgonewrong, @fionaloover, @kinqslcys, @prentissinred, @ccmattis-22, @denvivale317, @thrindis, @hotchsguccitie, @cmfouatslota77, @alexblakegf, @aliensaurusrex, @prentissxhotch, @emobabeyy, @victoiregranger, @stormyweatherth, @wanderingdreamer009, @ssablackbird, @luhwithah, @lex13cm, @prentiss-theorem, @dont-emily-me, @mrs-ssa-hotch, @jocyycreation, @itsmytimetoodream, @hotchnissgroupie, @controversialpooh, @capsshinyshield, @canuck-eh

Join my tag list here!