#being hyperfixated is helping me but also kinda getting in the way it's hard to explain

[celticbotanart]

I'm feeling a lot better from the probably-covid, but I'm still feeling very "off", hence the lack of updates; on the other hand, I took this time I was sick/recovering to do some personal stuff, the new OCs on the making I mentioned a while ago, I'm very hyperfixated atm. I hope I can share stuff about them on Patreon soon~

[nihilistem]

adhd study affirmations + tips to stray from discouragement by a stem student with adhd.

you’re not always going to be consistent. you’re not always going to be motivated. you’re not always going to be efficient. and that is okay.

edit : thank you so much to whoever blazed this post. It means the world to me.

and the fact that you even got this far is an accomplishment in and of itself. In this line of work, people aren’t always the kindest to neurodivergent people especially since our symptoms can often hinder our performance academically.

if you’re good to go after reading the above, I’ve also made a post regarding adhd study tips that I haven’t seen anywhere else. (Part 2 is here!) But, if you’re burned out like me, feel free to keep reading.

honestly, these might serve a bit more as reminders because they’re kinda simple but even I needed this, so, here we go.

do not seek advice from anyone neurotypical unless it genuinely helps you. I cannot tell you the amount of time and tears I could have saved if I just considered the fact that just because popular self-improvement tips or study techniques didn’t work for me, it doesn’t mean I’m stupid or useless. It simply means our brains isn’t motivated by the same things neurotypical ones are, and therefore a lot of popular self-improvement videos or study tips aren’t going to work for you because 90% of the time, they’re not designed to work for neurodivergent people. So if you’d like to seek help in this area, look for tips and videos that ARE for neurodivergent people.

you might experience burnout a lot more than others. again, that is fine. if this doesn’t apply to you, great! Feel free to skip to the next tip/affirmation. If this does apply to you, read this carefully; if you’ve had any sort of streak in studying right now, chances are you know at least a portion of your studies were led purely on interest, curiosity or even novelty, as these are what keep us engaged in our studies. Knowing this, it is natural for you to experience burnout more frequently than others due to the possible hyperfixations that have been forming around your work. If you get burned out, please remember to take a break for a day and make sure it is efficient. Like your studies, your breaks are the key to having efficient study sessions in the future. So please treat yourself, especially if you’ve been working extra hard!

do not admire studious fictional characters unless it genuinely helps you or they too are neurodivergent. I know this technically could have been thrown in with tip number 1 but I felt like this tip alone is so important, because nowadays I see a lot of study tips with the title, ‘how to study like (insert studious fictional character here)’ and when I look at the post it kinda repeats the same few study tips I see all the time like ‘stay organized’ or ‘time block your day’ and I feel like admiring fictional characters who do things that don’t work for you can be damaging for your mental health, because we’re already told by neurotypical people all around us that we’re slow or lazy just because we don’t do things the way they do, and I think idolizing neurotypical people that make us feel bad at the end of the day just further promotes that kind of toxic thinking.

expect that a routine/schedule/technique that has been working for a while now may not continue to work in the future. things will always have to be new for us to be interested or engaged, that being said, if you expect this in the future you won’t be frustrated with yourself because you already had this in mind. It doesn’t mean you’re not smart. It doesn’t mean you’re lazy. It doesn’t mean you’re useless. It just means that you’ve done what you could, and now it’s time to move on to another routine/schedule/technique.

keep doing the things you love alongside work. I find that because our symptoms may cause us to fall behind on our studies, we tend to neglect our other needs as human beings just to make up for the fact that we simply do not learn or pick things up the same way neurotypical people do. Your hobbies and interests need to be part of your day, just as your studies do, even if you may take longer to learn things or remember important concepts in your studies. Neglecting your hobbies or interests can lead to even more frequent burn outs and even a relapse in depression and anxiety, so please take care of yourself and recognize that you need and deserve these things just as much as anyone else.

regularly discover what works for you on your own. here’s the thing; neurodivergent or not, no two brains work the same. Of course it is good to try out advice or tips you find online because they’re backed up by experience, but they’re backed up by that person’s experience with working with their own brain. So naturally, you need to find what works with your brain. Be open to trying everything, even the tips that are discouraged like listening to lyrical music while studying. That was the only way I learnt that this tip actually does help me at times, even when many people have said that it negatively affects your focus.

that’s all I have right now guys, I think I’m experiencing burn out or probably falling back into depression again so more than anything this also served as a reminder for me, but I really hope it also helped you guys nonetheless.

As always, tell me if you guys would like more posts like these and I’ll be happy to make more <33 please take care of yourself guys, and remember that your studies is just one aspect of your life. There are other aspects that need your care and attention too.

[fizzy-blood]

Eyeless Jack x GN!Reader Headcanons (NSFW)

Another request from a friend on Discord (I'm 100% not hyperfixated on writing rn) so enjoy 18+ warning This content Includes : Blood kink, size kink, corruption kink "knife" play, aggressive dom Jack, reader might have autassassinophilia, minor dubcon elements.

Ok to start off nice and simple this man will go from completely calm to being the most horney person you've ever met

Like one moment you're vibing in his room sitting next to him and the next you're being bent over his bed having your guts rearranged

Many things could cause this, the thing I like to think that causes this to happen the most is that Jack can tell if you're horney

Even the slightest changes to the way you look, act or smell will let him know

The point is if you're in the mood so is he

Some of the other things that get him going include stuff like borrowing his stuff or sitting on his lap (also if you somehow cut yourself and he notices it, let me just say that you will not be walking for days)

OK, I really want to do a dick description so I'm just gonna drop it here

This man is huge, sure his dick may not have been small when he was human but the whole demon thing definitely added to it

around 8.5 inch w a slight curve to the left, not super thick but noticeably larger then a humans

It's mostly gray like the rest of him but the head is like an inky black colour

Not only is he big but he also has multiple tongues, three to be exact and boy does he know how to use them

He'll eat you out regardless of your sex

Afab? He'll have your hips pinned to the bed and he abuses your clit w one tongue while the other two make there way inside you

Amab? Prepare for the greatest blowjob in the history of all man kind

Now another thing about him being a demon is the idea of him going into heat

When he's not and you want sex he'll normally agree, not much to worry about there

But when he's in heat? Oh boy can it be a nightmare...

No self-control whatsoever, like at all

Even if you don't want sex in that moment he'll be pushing you onto your back, forcing his way inside of you

Even if you didn't consent at first and wanted him off of you, you'll definitely want him to finish what he started

When in heat he'll not really care if he hurts you

In fact, he gets off to it when in that state

Biting you hard enough to draw blood, scratching at your skin, even taking a scalpel and cutting you open to see your pretty red blood

Because of his height you'll probably be shorter than him (he's like 6'8ft) and he's completely fine with it

He likes how small you are compared to him, it makes him think of you as this small helpless being that he needs to protect and care for

Another thing is if you're a virgin

Jack probably hasn't had any sex since the whole cult thing but even he has some experience

So when finds out that you're a virgin? He has to restrain himself from ripping your clothes off and fucking you right then and there

Jack kinda sees you as this pure angelic being, so when he's fucking you you've gotta be ready for an amazing combination or degrading and praise

He'll tell you how much he loves you one minute and will be calling you a slut the next

BONUS!! (Aftercare)

You're obviously going to be super sore after sex and Jack is fully aware of that

Lucky for you, Jack is super sweet afterwards

Need water? On it.

Ice? Already there.

Still bleeding? He's already grabbing some band aids.

Want to take a bath? He'll join you and help you clean yourself up.

Again, you wont be able to walk for a little while afterwards so if if you need to go somewhere, Jack will carry you to wherever you need/want to be

He'll also lay next to you in bed or have you lay on top of him and let you sleep on him

That's all for now, hope you enjoyed! -Fizz

[mrmiserymushroom]

one of my personal favorite tropes it’s the “well, we are really close and get along pretty well! they’re one of the best people in the world and one of my best friends. We hook up and good he fucks me so well and sometimes i fantasize about getting married but it’s not like i’m head over hills for them! NO NO NO NO NOPE. NO HOMO!!! TOTALLY BUDDIES BEING BUDDIES! but oh lord if you touch them I SWEAR TO FUCKING-” and i am was absolutely enchanted that this new episode got all of that!!

I also got to understand fizzy a lot more and now he (and maybe Ozzie) is my favorite character after Stolas!

I love how he and Blitz made up after a long time, even though I thought it was kinda quickly (or maybe i was just way too anxious and excited about my hyperfixation getting a new episode). I loved to see Blitzo getting to fix his mistakes and apologizing. I loved seeing him and fizzy talking and making jokes and arguing bc they’re so goddamn funny and have so much connection! Their friendship got my heart warm :]

I was a bit heartbroken about Stolas and how worried he was about his situation with Blitz. but I’m happy he seems to have a friend who will help him a bit and seems he can count on!

I LOVED FIZZAROLLI’S SONG OMG???? it was so yummy and nice and coool and AARSHAJDJAKSKAKSDKS

overall i REALLY loved this episode! Helluva Boss’s have been one of my hyperfixations and helped me through some really hard times. dunno if this is normal but i but i got so happy and excited about my hyperfixation having new content i actually got depressed and needed to take some SOS and go for a walk???? helloooo whatever the GAD and Depression are doing to me this is one of the craziest.

I get really REALLY insecure with talking about Helluva Boss on my socials and with anyone in general since i know the creator of it has some bad reputation and did really shitty things and the Hazbin Hotel series is pretty much hated for what i can see.

yeah i was afraid of what people would think about me if i tell them i hyperfixate on Helluva Boss and worried if they would thought i agree with any of the bad stuff that goes behind the creator and stuff.

so i just thought it would be a good idea if i just posted about it here (since a lot of people liked my helluva boss drawings) and take this stuff out of my chest to calm down my post anxiety attack. yeah thats it thanks if you read until this point :]

so yeah one of my favorites episodes so far!!! <3

[on-leatheredwings]

i've found your account only a few days ago but ever since then I've been STUCK here rereading your fanfics, especially ones with damian. i wasn't even a dc fan (heard about some stuf, watched some films and cartoons, but that's it) but now im reading comics since im Obsessed and need more batboys in my life (rip my productivity😔)

Anyway, after Sleepover i'm curious what will Bruce (and maybe even Thalia) think of batboys strange behaviour towards reader. He's smart, so he definitely notices it early on, but how he'll react....

I can see him being weirded out (like he was by Jason's anger issues, before his death), but he also can be an enabler, since Robin (literaly any of them) had a hard life, so if those relationships can help him why not pretend that everything is normal? you'll be safer in a Wayne's Manor anyway

All in all, thanks for a new hyperfixation 💞💞

P.s. About games:

1. Boyfriend to death 1&2 - since you're into yanderes you might want to check this game out. I prefer the second game, but the first is also fun. But beware the trigger warnings!!

2. Long live the Queen - more of a raising sim than dating sim but you still can romance some guys and girls.

,3. Hatoful Boyfriend - mostly a comedy, but there is a yandere.

4. The Royal Trap - it's been a long time since i played it, but it used to be one of my favorites so i'll just mention it.

5. Higurashi - once again not really a romance sim, but its an interesting horror mixed with a slice of life

;A; AWWWW THANK YOU IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE MY STUFF.... THAT MAKES ONE OF US GIJSDOFAFGHFOJDSD

and yes yes get into DC!!! (girl who hasnt even read a full run since like. injustice)

damn now you got me thinking and excited. incoming spiel

i agree entirely about bruce just knowing how Bad things can get, so to make things simpler, he's like "yes, your darling(s) can stay in the manor, boys. 🙄"

mmm yes..... when it comes to bruce noticing the batboys are yandere, i think it's always sinfully delightful to just have him be reluctantly okay with it. 😈 it's also easier narratively ngl but i also like the idea that the batfam is all just corrupted.

bruce's thoughts are that they (his sons) fight for vengeance and justice but this is where they could use some leeway.... we all need our vice... they fight so hard for gotham, they deserve a little treat (getting rid of your human rights)... it's very "Dad who wants his sons to have happiness even if its not healthy" of him. in fics where bruce is a yandere, well, he's the exact same way so he can't judge. although if that's the case, i like the idea of bruce just being like "yes what we do isn't right. let's not talk about it. just don't kill <3"

still wondering what i like more. a yan!bruce who's self aware what he's doing is wrong but he just refuses to think about it. or a yan!bruce that justifies it all because of his paranoia, Tower of Babel style (if you don't know, that's when it's revealed batman has plans to subdue/kill the justice league just in case they go rogue.)

for the batboys depends on their personality... for damian, he's so resolute in things that i prefer when he just believes 100% what he's doing is okay, if not actually righteous. ^_^

hmmm talia.... I'M STILL UNSURE HOW I PREFER THAT AS WELL... i think talia being a you-arent-good-enough-for-my-son mom is a little cliche but also. she kinda would say that. you'd have to prove your worth somehow but idk how tf darling would do that LOL. in the end, i think talia is just relieved/comforted that her son indeed feels desire and wants love and will continue the family legacy (regardless if youre afab/can biologically have children.)

no THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!! AND THANKS FOR RECS!!!! heheh yeah ive checked out btd and im not averse to the warnings its more like im not that most of into the designs ngl. fox guy seems cute? AND LMAO FUNNY BC IM ON A HIGURASHI REWATCH (never played it tho)

[archie-sunshine]

Hi! Hello!! It's 5am and after reading the 1.5 Driftrod chapter I couldn't help myself by showing my appreciation for it- LIKE THANK YOU!!

My mean Drift apostle- I love how you characterise him! Thank you for sharing this! (Also, amazing how they both got send to horny jail, tho I doubt it would stop Drifty from being a mean teasing b-)

Anyways, a did question did pop up- two actually. But they don't really relate to each other. Kind off?

First, what are your thoughts on Hotlock? My heart, brain and evil horny half of me aches for both sides of Rodimus and Drift so I always have double brainrot about them (-size difference. it's the size difference.)

Second, I didn't find it anywhere on your info page(or maybe it's just me being blind, apologiesif it's the case) but do you have a Ko-fi or something similar? I'm a broke uni student but I still wanted to support you in some monetary way! (Also because I totally want to commission hotlock but felt guilty by just asking without paying hhh)

Sorry for the long ass ask! 5am me is ecstatic about what they just read and future me will feel shame and pass it down to at least three generations for making a fool out of myself.

Have an amazing day and keep being great!!

So do u guys ever get an ask that leaves u kinda sittin there like this?

*ahem* anyways!! Sorry, i got very carried away drawing sketches for this ask so if this is like- super overwhelming i apologize

THANK YOU!! FOR ENJOYING THE SECRET DRIFTROD FIC!! I have a lot of thoughts about drift and his sex life and libido and personal preferences. I won't go into heavy detail(unless someone sends an ask wanting to hear about my thoughts) but i fully agree that drift has a mean streak the size of the grand canyon, but also has so much internalized guilt that he REALLY tries to not do anything about it. Rodimus is oblivious to it- until Drift eventually snaps and makes his intentions very very clear. But there were some obvious warning signs, i.e. being a very persistent sex pest and getting way too revved up from bullying rodimus with the magnetizer on.

AS FOR HOTLOCK??? I genuinely hadn't thought about it- until i read an absolutely life changing brain shattering wip from a friend of mine. AND NOW!!!??? NOW ITS IN MY BRAIN. i cannot get it out of there. LOVE hotlock, lots of thoughts on hotlock. The tension, the hatesex, two pent up freaks with the libidos of rabbits. What's not to love right? (apologies, im not the best at drawing Hot Rod idw style but i think this gets the point across yea?)

I personally find it very compelling that they would start out hating each other, and hot rod would likely continue to consider their whole relationship more of a sexually charged rivalry. but deadlock I believe would become almost animalistically possessive of hot rod. Still hating him, still savoring the thrill of hunting him for sport for the express purpose of beating the brakes off him. but uh... not wanting anything to get between that.

I like to imagine that characterization for deadlock no matter who he ends up with, BECAUSE, I also really enjoy the idea that Drift would harbour a lot of guilt and shame for that part of his life? like i personally believe Drift would try to cover up as much of deadlocks remaining character traits as possible out of guilt, pretend they arent there and that he's a much more even tempered, normal person about the relationships he's in.

Now is that possessiveness or mean streak really gone?.... I mean...

drift would probably very much like you to think so.

NOW!! about commissions, first of all holy shit thank you? what? Don't spend your money on me good god- I USED to have a ko-fi, but i have not used it in a very long time!! I really appreciate the sentiment, but especially if youre hard for cash, I'd be happy to just draw requests because i think they're fun!! so feel free to suggest whatever you'd like to see(as long as its like- one of my hyperfixations bbgfdgfds-) I personally really love making people happy with my art, so like- praise, recognition, and knowing that my work made people happy(via comments or tags or inbox messages) is like fucking crack to me. I'd love to draw driftrod/hotlock for anyone, literally anytime, bc it would make them happy :] and that would make me happy :]

Like, see? I farted this drift out in under 10 minutes and it made me so happy to draw and i went 'omg the little people in my puter are gonna love this drawing' and it brought me infinitely more joy than the 25 bucks id get as payment for it.

IF!! I do open for commissions though, i'd likely be accepting payment via my paypal in CAD, and you'd likely see me open for them on my blog if you're following me!!

I know this post is already like exorbitantly long, for which i apologize, but i do want to say you should never apologize for the enjoyment you gain from someones work!!! This ask has made me so happy!! It makes me really glad to know that someone out there who i don't even know was brought joy by my very stupid fanfic at 5am somewhere. ALSO??? the fact that someone halfway across the world from me can see and love and enjoy something I made??? THE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL WHAT?? The connection that fandom and creation can bring is beyond description and I am glad that my work reached you. any of you. all of you. thank you anon.

(jesus christ im getting emotional in this chilis today)

[Feeling nosy? Send me an ask or request in my inbox!!!]

[full sketchpage under the cut!]

[viktheviking1]

Confession V2

(This is kinda outta context. I tried to make it make sense. If you want to know what really happened that led up to this scene, I've got links to my fanfic at the bottom. I hope you enjoy anyway!)

Blitz hadn't seen Stolas in so long. Between Stolas getting kidnapped, and then getting kidnapped himself, he had realized how precious time in this life was. Not to mention the giant lump in his throat as he watched his old friend and first crush live the life he always wanted, and get to love whomever he pleased. Stolas had told him once that he loved him, and he brushed him off. He wouldn't make the same mistake again.

So when he knocked on the door of Stolas's mansion, on a day that was distinctly NOT a full moon, he had one goal in mind.

"Hey there, good looking." Blitz said, leaning in the doorway.

Stolas was clearly taken by surprise, "Oh! Hello, dear. What can I do for you?"

"The better question is what can I do you for?" Blitz grinned.

Stolas couldn’t help but let a goofy, sheepish smile, sprawl across his face, “Heh. He he he! How silly.” He started giggling little hoots.

Blitz seemed to let out a sigh of relief, “It’s been so long since I heard that sound.”

Stolas immediately stopped, “Oh-! I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no!” Blitz closed the space between them, and grabbed his hand, “I meant . . . that I missed it.”

Stolas’s heart flipped, and he looked down at their hands. He tangled their fingers together and he watched as Blitz squeezed his hand.

"You know . . . I've had some time to think. . ." Blitz started, looking away as he blushed, "about you and I. About our arrangement. About how I . . . really feel about you."

“Oh~? And how do you feel about me?~”

He expected a sarcastic return, a witty comback, or at best, a flirtatious remark. He was not expecting for Blitz to grab his cardigan, and tug him down, and kiss him roughly.

Blitz pulled back after a moment but didn’t let go of him, pressing their foreheads together, “I love everything about you, Stolas. I love your creepy bird mouth and the way you laugh. I love listening you talk about your stupid hyperfixations on plants and toads and constellations. I love how much you worry over your daughter and how a simple text from her can make your day. I love how you are somehow so shy and sweet, and somehow the k*nkiest motherf**ker alive and that you know what you and chase after it. I love to listen to you sing in the shower and watch you gaze at the sky. I love you so much, Stolas." He let go of his shirt and cupped his face in his hands, and pulled back to get a better look at him, "and that's why I've been so scared to hurt you. And I know being with me would mean a lot of hard decisions, public ridicule, and general trouble for you. Not to mention my tendency to be the worst of bad luck charms."

"Blitz-"

"But if you really do think for some crazy, insane reason, that I'm worth all that, then . . ." He nuzzled him and smiled, "why the f**k not?"

Stolas stared into his eyes, stunned. He reached up and pinched Blitz's cheek.

"Ow!" He shouted, but didn't let go of his face, "what the f**k was that for?!"

"I had to check if I was dreaming." Stolas blinked.

Blitz laughed, "You're supposed to pinch yourself to prove it."

"Oh, that's right." Stolas grinned.

"Dumb*ss." Blitz chuckled, and the two fell into another kiss. There tongues tied together in a familiar fashion, the sweet taste of renewed love and churros on their lips. It was also so completely different from their kisses of the past. Before everything was hot, passionate and fast, but this was a tender, honest kiss. A purity in it that neither had ever had before.

Stolas felt a sharp pain, and pulled away suddenly. Standing at his full height, he reached his hand down to rub his butt where it hurt, "Ouch!"

He looked down at Blitz who was grinning mischievously, "So? Is it a dream?"

It took him a moment to realize what had happened, but when he did, he burst out laughing.

". . . It wasn't that funny." Blitz smiled, eyebrows drawn together.

"Oh yes, my dear," Stolas leaned down and picked Blitz up, letting him sit on his arm, so he could face him, "Yes, it was."

Blitz snorted, "You have such a weird sense of humor."

Stolas giggled, "You're the one who made the joke!"

"I know what I said and I stand by it." Blitz nodded.

They both laughed together.

[alpaca-clouds]

Imagining a better world after the apocalypse?

Now, there are only few followers here, who know me from twitter, I think. But those who do know, that my hyperfixation fandom before Castlevania (though one without much in terms of fanfiction) was Mad Max: Fury Road. Like, I still fucking adore this batshit movie! The action is awesome. The color grading is amazing. And Charlize Theron is.......... Look, I have exactly one celebrity crush and it is this woman, alright?

But let me get to the point. The point is, that within that fandom I had quite a few discussions about one question: "Is Immortan Joe right with how he runs this place?" (Spoiler: My answer is "no".)

Weird question, given that Immortan Joe is the antagonist of the movie and a pretty shitty dude, who only perceives other people as his property that is supposed to serve him in some way or form.

But here is what those people would argue, who would argue for him actually being right and the end of the movie actually spelling desaster for that post-apocalyptic desert society, he has build: "Well, water, oil and sulfur are rare ressources in this post-apocalypse, so one would need to distribute it carefully. And if Furiosa is to establish a more equal society in the end, there will not be enough to go around. Just look at the water. If you leave it running like that, you would empty the reservoir within a couple of days!"

To which my answer always has been: "Our you could just create a better method of sharing the water with everybody. Like faucets. Instead of letting most of it go to waste on the ground. And you can just... not build an entire military based around gas-guzzeling cars and instead use the big advantage of the citadel that it is self-sufficient and super hard to conquer."

But... I think this argumentation also kinda reveals a certain cynicism people have been trained to use to see the world. We are trained to see the world as a "wolf eat wolf" society. That we need scarcity and that there needs to be an underclass of people.

But of course... This is just wrong. Even that post-apocalyptic society in that movie can actually turn into something nice. Into something better.

Especially as all the argumentation people have going on there, ignores one of the greatest things that the citadel has: Knowledge. There is tons of old knowledge through the books that are still there. Books from the old world. Books in engineering. On other things as well. And adding to that, they also have the oral knowledge of the vuvalini in the end.

And because I cannot help myself to bring this from my last hyperfixation to my current hyperfixation: Take the end of the Castlevania Netflix series, for example. Like, sure, most characters have a happy end. But that is not the hopeful thing about it. Because the series ends on the expressed goal of sharing knowledge. The vampires have collected all this knowledge the entire time. Knowledge of technology and medicine. But they have done basically nothing with it, but making their own living kinda nice. I mean, heck, why do vampires even need knowledge about medicine given that they apparently do not get sick and can heal all wounds within minutes.

And then the series ends on the expressed goal of sharing the knowledge. Isaac gets inspired to share his knowledge by the end of the series - and given that he ends up with access to the Styrian library he can share that knowledge as well. And we already see by the end, how the people from Danesti are both in the Belmont Hold and the library of the castle, are learning things.

You could argue, that what happens in the show is, from the perspective of the average person, the apocalypse. Like, there is literal fire raining down onto the earth. But... By the end of it. There is the potential to build a better world. A world, in fact, that would be better than what actually happened in the real world after 1476.

And I think that is just so darn hopeful.

I wished media would explore this more.

[phantomposting]

Another half asleep twins au rant/prompt! Please excuse any spelling or grammar errors I have not slept in a hot minute.

Trigger Warning ⚠️: Ghost Hunger, Dissection/vivisection, starvation

--------------------------------------

So this is a Ghost Hunger Damian and Danny are twins au. I was reminded about ghost hunger the other day and boy did it give me the spark of creativity I needed to create yet another au/fic idea to hyperfixate on.

So in this au Damian and Danny were very close as siblings but Danny ended up dying throwing himself in harms way to protect Damian on a mission for the league. Damian blames himself for not having better reflexes/not paying enough attention and could never convince his grandfather to allow Danyal to be resurrected via the pit.

Talia saw how desperate her son was for the other to live though and also cared for Danyal so she risked it all to revive him secretly and hide him amongst the civilians in America. Damian sadly never got to learn about that fact tho and lived years with the guilt he felt which left him determined to never let that happen again. Which meant he could never let anyone get close enough to want to do such a thing for him and he needed to hone his skills.

Danny on the other hand has hazy memories of his brother while with the Fentons and goes through the same timeline of becoming Phantom and protecting Amity Park. Eventually tho his parents find out and that gets him strapped to a table in the basement begging for his half life/getting vivisected.

So Danny flees going on the run and ends up on the streets of Gotham. The spirit of Gotham is so excited and welcoming to her newest child. He is a protector and her king after all. It fills her with pride that she would get to care for such an important person. She does all she can to make sure the king stays safe. Little things to keep him hidden and protected.

Danny however has unintentionally been keeping a pretty big secret from the ghosts of the realm. He doesn't really know this though and thinks its just a ghost thing. Basically his core is slightly corrupted due to the years he spent around the Lazarus pits aswell as the revival vial the dip in it's corrupt ectoplasm. As a result he experiences ghost hunger which was pretty easy to manage when he lived with the Fenton's. He would normally satiate his hunger via eating pure ectoplasm from the lab but now he has no access to that which leads him to starving himself.

This starvation mixed with his human side starving aswell is very very hard on his body as a result he begins to black out sometimes when he wakes up he usually tastes ectoplasm but just assumes its his own due to his injuries from his parents. These injuries are weirdly taking way longer to heal which is due to ghosts being very mental/emotional state based.

Gotham soon realizes she has a big problem on her hands. It turns out the king's core is corrupted and as a result many of her ghostly children are going missing. She is deeply upset and calls out for help to assist the king with his corruption or stop him from killing more of her children. She hopes the king gets help rather than getting taken down however. She knows it's not his fault. She knows how protective of her city and her people he is and how kind he can be to them and hopes issues get solved so he may become a protector of her people.

This call for help brings Constantine to Gotham. He doesn't get a whole lot of info from Gotham at first but he knows whatever is going on can be dangerous and is important. He knows that some of the bats are in danger too and gives them a warning that something in Gotham seems to be hunting ghostly beings and those whom have died before are at risk especially Red Hood.

The Bat's don't take too kindly to the supernatural threat and kinda force their way into assisting Constantine whom is already annoyed with the prospect of having to deal with the bats.

So time passes and the bats gets a few encounters of feeling as if they're being hunted. Jason is also the first to discover the new homeless kid in Gotham who looks almost exactly like Damian. It's hard to really see too many similarities at the time tho he's so thin it's deeply worrying and his icy blue eyes greatly contrast Damian's emerald green, but some similarities are far too obvious to miss. Oh great more black hair blue eyed adoption bait. Better keep him far away from Bruce.

The few run ins some of the bat kids have with Danny make them worried about the homeless kid. Dick, Tim, Duke and Jason all get run ins with the kid and tho they want to try and help the kid he always seems to vanish without a trace. It's kinda creepy but they all can recognize just how scared this kid is.

Eventually Bruce and Damian get their run in with the kid. The GiW have finally tracked Danny down and due to the stupid vivisection wounds not healing and the starvation of both forms he can't get the strength he needs to defend himself or make an easy escape. He ends up cornered in an alleyway and getting shot with luckily no major damage. Batman and Robin come across the scene of what appears to be some weird new gang bullying a homeless child and makes quick work of them.

After all is said and done and they look back to help the injured kid Damian ends up shocked to find that this kid is Danyal. At first he pulls his sword on him making threats thinking this is some sick and twisted trick from the league, but then he comes to his senses seeing how broken and defeated Danyal is. He doesn't flinch or shy away from the fate, though he has tears in his deeply tired eyes he doesn't fight back. He doesn't seem to have the energy to. He just sits against the walled dead end that almost got him killed and stares down the katana as if he no longer fears death.

Things get bit emotional as he questions his long dead brother. Danny is honest in answering he doesn't know how he came back nor does he fully remember how he died in the first place. He also dodges some of the questions and keeps the ghost half hidden. He explains to them he's gotten himself into trouble however and people are after him now and he appreciates the help. He keeps as much as he can about ghosts being involved a secret. He has no idea about the Bat's stances on them after all. And he seems to hate metas so probably won't take to kindly to a ghost.

Damian and Danny share info and Bruce discovers he has a son he didn't know about and deeply regrets not being there cause the state this kid is in is pretty dier. He's not sure he can fully trust the kid though. It's clear he's hiding something and that could be a danger to his family and Gotham, but he decides to give him a chance. After all this is his son and he wants to help him no matter what.

Bruce calls in someone to cover the rest of his and Damian's patrol route for the night and has Alfred get Doctor Thompkins to meet them back in the cave for medical assistance. They get Danny back and he starts getting some treatment for his wounds. Alfred and Thompkins are pretty horrified to find the vivisection wounds on the kiddo. They are definetly infected by this point. And much to Danny's dismay he has to use the excuse that he's a meta to explain why he's got such a low temperature and heart rate, why he can't use sedatives, and why stitches and stuff like that won't work.

So treatment is a bit difficult but they do their best with it. Alfred and Thompkins also discuss what needs to be done to get the kid back on track to being healthy. All the while Damian is anxiously waiting to be able to see his brother again. Bruce has never seen Damian show such emotion and care before aside from when he's dealing with animals. It's so jarring. And of course the other bat kids are snooping trying to find out what's going on.

So recovery is slow and bat kids try to connect with their new sibling whenever Damian isn't trying to act as a guard dog/mother hen. Danny ends up the closest with Damian and Jason in the family. Jason can immediately tell something is off with the kid due to the Lazarus water reacting to him and is the first person Danny opens up to about being half ghost (much to Damian's dismay). Jason keeps Danny's secret for him but encourages him subtly to open up to the others cause they'll definetly accept him despite the fact that he's half dead. They bond a lot on their mutual trauma and of course Damian is jealous but also happy Danny is actually talking to someone and getting back on his feet.

Damian still feels immense guilt over the first death Danyal faced and this guilt makes him think of course Danyal would want to avoid him that Danyal blames him too which is totally untrue and eventually gets worked through but not until after theres some conflicts due to jealousy. But that comes later.

One night Jason decides to stay over for Danny's sake and Danny has another black out. Basically his ghost form goes feral and tries to go after Jason. This results in the discovery that Danny was the danger Constantine has been looking for all along and there's a major blow up in the family due to this info. Danny only stops feral mode after eating a blob ghost (poor lil guy) and gets rudely awoken by the batfam accusations of attempted murder.

Danny is finally informed that he's been killing and eating ghosts and is horrified this goes against his whole goal of protecting everyone and keeping the balance and really goes against his protection obsession. It breaks him and Bruce yelling accusations at him doesn't help at all. Kiddo has a major breakdown and goes on the run from his new family thinking he is a danger and that he blew it with them.

Danny faces issues with injury to his core aswell due to what he's done and how that effects his obsession. Basically he's having a real bad time.

Jason whom has connected with the kiddo knows that this ain't Danny and somethings clearly wrong and so does Damian so the two reluctantly band together to locate and help the poor kiddo. With this team up Damian discovers Jason knew Danny was a half ghost and jealousy causes a fight but they manage to keep the team together out of concern for the kiddo.

The the other Bats team up with Constantine to track him down and eliminate the threat. Gotham tries to impede them though cause she knows the route they are on will only bring harm to the ghost king rather than help him. She tries her best to help hood and Robin find him first.

When Jason and Damian discover Danny he's in bad shape. Kiddos absolutely breaking down and very injured his core is definetly injured for sure. They try to offer assistance but Danny isn't thinking straight he's like a wounded animal so if he gets cornered he fights back.

It really doesn't help that the GiW manages to track him down yet again and the boyoa have to deal with both that and a ghostly Danny whom poses a risk of injury to not only them but himself.

With so much going on its no surprise that the GiW actually succeeds in capturing Danny. The two vigilante's end up getting knocked out and left to the wayside.

Eventually the other bats come across them and they explain Danny was captured by the thugs that first attacked him. Constantine recognizes the organization and is deeply frustrated but hey atleast it's not his problem anymore right? Wrong. With the kids explanations he realizes Danny was not actually evil. He's partially alive and he is a protector spirit not a rouge one. He also realizes how bad things are cause a spirit like that committing such acts that he has risks destabilization which would probably kill both the human and ghost half. He's no ghost expert but Gotham's giving him signs she wants him to help the ghost kid and now he's in quite the pickle.

So this leads everyone into panic mode and search and recuse mode. Theres a big rescue mission where they break into the GiW headquarters and fight the GiW to get Danny back. Of course he is having a hard time staying stable and they have to both use whatever magic Constantine can muster to keep him as stable as he can and on the spot therapy time to try and stabilize the poor kiddo.

Eventually they get him stable enough to bring him back home but now he has mandatory therapy sessions with Black Canary. They also have a lot of emotional work ahead of them aswell and physical work trying to get a steady supply of ectoplasm so the kid doesn't starve again.

They have to fight the Fenton's for custody aswell and try and dismantle the GiW and anti ecto acts. Its a long process and they really discover just how bad things were for the kid.

They probably have a visit to frostbite too if they can get a portal and this helps him heal and make sure no more ghost medical problems occur. This also helps the family learn a lot of ghost health is tied to emotional and mental health.

Damian and Danny probably end up getting in a few fights due to Damian's jealousy aswell but eventually work though it and become closer due to it. They are inseparable. And Damian also has to learn to get used to Jason being around and an active older brother figure. Bruce apologizes for his mistreatment of the kiddo too. Their relationship stays a bit rocky for a long while but they definitely make progress.

Theres a lot of emotions and emotional conflict and things are very rocky for awhile but eventually they get to be a functional and loving family dynamic! Danny gets a happy ending in the end it's not a perfect home but he definetly wouldn't want to be anywhere else :D

This is the longest prompt I've written yet I hope you guys enjoy it 💗💗💗

[weirdmageddon]

can someone explain what “weed paranoia” is?

ive never experienced it, all i experience is like….relaxation, monotropic autism flow state, calms me down enough to not get overstimulated by my own thoughts (i feel more at ease with my thoughts coming and going, i kinda go into free flow thought tunnels without getting hung up or ever spiraling. in fact, the opposite, where it’s like a “catch and release” sort of experience to train of thought most of the time. i mean i’ll still definitely hyperfocusing on something which you could consider getting “hung up” on but thats just normal autism stuff and i feel like i can mine for more deeper insight riches in those hyperfixation tunnels when high.

it also definitely helps me unmask. like my mask is sort of built into my core personality and “self” but i find it hard if not impossible to shut off even when im alone because ive internalized the external social sphere. but THC (i should note im taking Δ9) like…. takes the edge off, and i feel less conflicted about my thoughts? like i’m more confident in getting my thoughts out there without worrying about people judging me for how i phrase things or how hyperspecific im being to my own interests. i feel like i dont have to water things down as much because i dont feel as threatened by judgment externally, and in turn internally

i looked up my question about what “weed paranoia” feels like on reddit and the common answers ive seen were:

generalized anxiety

“everyone knows” / you feel like people are watching or judging you and that youre gonna be in trouble

“You’re very aware of your own actions and existence, and assume everyone else is also.”

heightened self-reflection (for some people this freaks them out??) because different perspective

more vulnerable

but i’m not satisfied with these answers??

i want to know if people who get paranoid have these traits while sober/before getting high. like, is it just non-introspective people getting freaked out because they’re considering their own actions/thoughts and existence? or do introspective people who are used to metacognition also getting freaked out?

are people afraid of confronting their weaknesses that weed makes them aware of? are people who normally hide from truths more likely to get paranoid?

ok so i can only fully know my own mind; that is my reality. i have a habit of assuming people more or less share the same phenomenological experiences in their minds, but since i’m autistic i’ve had to expand this boundary over and over continually reconciling with way more diverging phenomenological experiences than i thought.

so i normally i have thoughts about my own thoughts pretty much at least five times every hour, every single day of the week. i do not experience is not a bad thing, it’s a neutral and even good thing. i think i am insightful by nature and always have been, ive been described as such. i don’t know how normal this is for the average person. weed does enhance these metacognitive thoughts i have to an even higher level, and i feel very, very pulled towards them in a good, flow state way. ive also been told my guarded chilly heart melts a bit and i become more open/vulnerable while stoned but that’s because i don’t feel as vulnerable as i normally do. so i dont hide or clam up as much away from psychological openness or whatever exact shit enneagram type 5 is on

but anyway even without weed i normally feel “outside” of my own thoughts, always judging them from a third person perspective, or even multiple third person perspectives through reframing. so i dont feel like i have a defined or clearly illuminated sense of self. i’m not trying to really “find myself” so much as uncover it. like, it’s definitely there to begin with i can feel its presence, but the specifics are obscured and i’m trying to bring them to light. i automatically isolate logical components from emotional components into their own boxes and rarely acknowledge the emotional box because it’s unhelpful in more circumstances than not so it’s all a pretty clinical process when i make sense of things

because i can do this i’m never afraid of the truth; in fact i actively go in search of it and honestly it feels like THC helps me achieve that on MYSELF and it makes me very satisfied

i also don’t know if what i said is normal. am i comfortable with truths and facing them to an unusual degree over most people, or about the same as them?

i saw this comment and it’s like….. that makes sense with disinhibition of the frontal cortex. i think way too much about the rhetoric and kairos of how im communicating information to others normally, but with these consciously overthinking circuits driving and modifying my social thoughts and behaviors being turned down while stoned, i find i dont care as much. it’s like my conscious autism masking is peeled away, so i feel more content while stoned. and it also makes me more open as a result.

like i said, “i feel more at ease with my thoughts coming and going, i kinda go into free flow thought tunnels without getting hung up or ever spiraling” which is how this guy is describing “going with the flow”

the takeaway is i dont have a negative reaction to when i realize unpleasant things about myself while high. it’s just this neutral acknowledgement. this even goes for physical things that usually tip people off like their heart rate being “too fast” while high. i do perceive it also but theres like no anxiety with it, again just neutral observation and acknowledgement

basically im Actively looking for this

so some questions:

can someone explain what “weed paranoia” is like, taking into account the gist of what ive said? if you experience it do you have any insight into why it happens? does anything ive said have to do with it? do you already have neurotic tendencies (low resistance to stress)?

what does my experience while high + my normal thought processes as ive described them say or imply about me?

why am i experiencing pretty much the polar opposite of the way weed paranoid people are describing anxiety of being judged? or like the thing about my feelings of vulnerability?

am i more comfortable with truths and facing them to an unusual degree than most people, or am i actually about the same as them? am i more introspective/metacognitive than most people, or am i actually about the same as them?

if people who ARE already introspective get high and feel paranoid, why would that happen—wouldnt they be used to uncovering things about themselves? are there other reasons? does one’s sentiment to oneself play into it? neurotic traits?

oomf said “your high is always driven by how capable you are of passively defusing triggers for a bad trip”. the explanation for how well people tolerate THC ive gravitated towards outside of genetics (since my mom doesnt tolerate thc well but i do) is ability to deflect stressful thoughts, or how impacted you are by stressful thoughts in the first place. is this anything?

i hope im describing these things adequately so i can get the answers im looking for lol. please tell me if any of this means anything to you or if its just words

EDIT:

^ to me everything is great and feels significant, but is that because the things that feel significant are themselves good? if weed makes stuff seem more significant (too much dopamine weighs negative inputs too highly), that means it amplifies what’s already there (while also amplifying “noise”). so that tells us about the nature of what is already there in the mind’s contents, then?

so again, question 2: what does my experience while high + my normal thought processes as ive described them say or imply about me?

[am-i-interrupting]

Hello! I was wandering what would be my match up for the Hazbin hotel characters!

I go by She/her Pronouns and as for my sexuality, it’s kinda hard to say, I like males mostly but I also like females either by how pretty they are or how sweet they are. And also I get pretty shy at first but when I warm up I’m very bubbly and motherly towards anyone! But when it comes to my crush I get very awkward and shy, I do tend to bottle up my negative emotions a lot and having a hard time saying no to others if I’m being told to do something I don’t like but I’m slowly learning!

My personality trait is that I’m an ambivert, I’m both shy and outgoing, I’m sweet and kind and very gentle towards anyone, I’m very dense at times which means I don’t know when someone is interested in me so basically I’m a hopeless romantic😭😭

I don’t really prefer any characters who are toxic or messed up like valentino since I don’t like how he licked Charlie’s arms since I don’t like germs like that, also I don’t want to be matched with Charlie or vaggie since they are together and which I don’t wanna ruin that since their so perfect with each other!!

I got tested for ADHD and it came out positive, I do have hyperfixation since I get overly excited about something I like and which I would shake my hands out in excitement, I also have cute aggression in which I will find something cute like ducks or otters! But for some reason, sometimes I have an urge to like grab ahold of someone’s head and aggressively shake their head or even bite their cheeks or chin or even biceps

My fashion taste is kinda like a bimbo in a way, I like wearing crop tank tops that shows my curves and wearing grey sweatpants, almost like tojis outfit like black skintight shirt and baggy grey sweatpants, I also wear a zip up sweater too!

My hobbies are painting and drawing but mostly I love writing since I love creating new stories or anything and I love reading, I love talking about someone about my hobbies or anything in general!

How i show my affections is by either hugging or making them things I do, I have quality time and physical love, I’m very touch starved since I barely get any hugs by someone I deeply loved (not family members tho) I love either being big spoon or small spoon since I’m tall (I’m 5’10 or 5’11) I love being appreciated and loved by someone who can care for me!

I love classic music like Frank Sinatra or sometimes even listening to musical musics like willy wonka such as ‘pure imagination’ or any musical from Disney!

I love dark humor or sometimes cheesy jokes by someone I like (I sometimes act like a school girl who’s giggling and all that😭😭)

I feel like I would either be a puppet for my demon form, puppets do things to entertain the person for their happiness and which the puppets ignore their own happiness for others (I do that a lot for the people I care for😭😭) I do things for others but yet I don’t like doing them but it’s for them

Your Match Up Is. . .

Rosie!

You and Rosie met while she was supervising Cannibal Town. Everyone wore a smile except for a child who looked a bit saddened. You came to help.

She stopped you afterwards and thanked you, asked if you were new to Hell since she’d never seen you before and turns out you were.

She asked if you’d like to live in Cannibal Town or if she could set you up with a job since you didn’t have one. You nearly backed out, not a cannibal in life and you told her as much but she insisted everyone was welcome in her town.

She would check in on you periodically and would hear stories about the non-cannibal helping people out in town.

When you got yourself hurt helping someone who didn’t want to bother Rosie as she’s a very busy woman, she sewed you back up.

“You do need to be more careful, my dear. We don’t want your strings to be cut again so soon, now do we?”

That’s when she insisted you come join her to work in her emporium.

Eventually she invited you into her home for a candle lit homemade dinner. No, it’s not another demon, she promises.

You two have a lovely night together. She is an excellent cook when she’s not cooking other people (and she probably is when it comes to cooking other people as well but while she’ll ask you if you want to try it, she’ll never force you.)

Thus begins your relationship.

It’s a bit odd that she, a woman so clearly in the past, is dating someone dressed so modern but all is well and she does compliment you on how you look.

Even if those crop tops make her a bit flustered, they also let her make direct contact with your skin.

She hangs up any drawings you do in both her home and space work, proudly showing them off.

She is very proud of you and let’s the world know it.

Although, the world doesn’t need to be privy to all things.

Those things being what you do behind closed doors.

She’s not immune to trailing her hands up your stomach and under your shirt to cup your chest or down the your back and easily into the waistband of your pants to get a handful or two of your behind.

Her kisses in public are quick and chaste but alone she’s slow and passionate and she can be such a tease.

You best learn how to undo her clothing with the hooks and ties because she’s not going to teach you when she has such easy access to you.

If you bite her in private, she’ll expose more of her skin and tell you to bite harder, to taste her most vulnerable.

She knows you’re not a cannibal, but that doesn’t mean she can’t try to rope you in to the true vulnerability of knowing someone inside and out.

[awakentheeldritchabomination]

The Thing About Redesigns, Rewrites, and Reimagines…

(Part I: Broader Discourse)

To those of you who’ve been keeping tabs or maybe seen my posts floating around the tag, you might recall me mentioning that I felt a bit of hesitancy toward the prospect of joining in on the recent wave of redesign/rewrite content. In the more likely scenario that you haven’t or do not know what the crap I’m talking about, that’s fine lol. Understandable. It was a little thing I had written into my first rewrite/redesign post about Charlie. In a short aside, I explained that it was because I’d felt “bad about tinkering with someone else’s work like this”, and then I’d left it at that. So… yeah. Why am I bringing it up now?

Well, I don’t think I need to tell you that this fandom is… a lot. Y’know people have been talking…discourse is being had… heated, moral arguments are being hurled left and right. And in light of all the growing, reactionary accusations, I…found myself starting to feel bad again.

My initial issue, the reason why I didn’t immediately jump to sharing my ideas was that, for all her faults, I empathize with Viv as a creator and didn’t want to feel like I was disrespecting her, her characters, and her vision by reworking it to suit my own. I had frustrations and criticisms, but I never wanted to make it seem like I was trying to ‘fix’ her work or her style. I really didn’t want to be one of those pretentious dipsh*ts (the kind that take a piece of art, digest it through their own preferences and biases, then spit it back in the artist’s face with a, “There. I made it better”). In the end, I went through with it because I had a small hyperfixation and a tendency to project my own issues onto characters I love (I’m sure some of y'all can relate). And also, I was having fun. But… then more discourse poured in, and I saw all the concerns I expressed reflected in the arguments presented by other fans and artists.

And well… That made me feel like I was doing something wrong, like perpetuating and becoming the exact problems I had wanted to fight against. So, I took a step back. I reevaluated.

Now, I have thoughts (shocker!).

And they are conflicted.

On one hand I agree with the idea that redesigns/rewrites are not inherently bad or disrespectful things when it comes to productions like Hazbin since Viv is not a small creator with no power. She and her team have ultimate authority over the show’s events, and those plans will not be derailed by what is basically some random tumblr artist’s fanart/fanfiction.

In regards to the critical side of things, that kinda comes with consuming and digesting the messages and presentation of a work of art. Ideally, it should get people to discuss in this capacity, especially when it deals with such sensitive subject matter as Hazbin does (and especially when it is executed with evidently problematic notions which do bleed into the designs at times).

Still, I do think this trend can be disrespectful if the intention and presentation are made with an aggressive holier-than-thou attitude which explicitly seeks to one-up the creator. Though I understand where it comes from, I think that can be just straight, undiluted maliciousness with a generous helping of pretentious, self-appointed superiority. And I don’t think it’s necessary to pick apart the style itself. You don’t have to like it, of course, but I feel like stating your preference for one way of drawing over another and asserting it as if it were some objective truth antagonizes the entire point of individual artistic expression and personal taste. Criticize the lack of diversity (something which, I’d like to add, is not actually unique to Hazbin) and potentially problematic aspects, but not the style. Even then, it’s important to be constructive not destructive.

That being said, I don’t expect everyone to agree with me (especially if anyone who’s a die-hard fan finds this) Whether you do or not is on you, and that’s okay.

This is more a snippet of my thoughts than a fully developed rant. I just wanted to share where I’m at right now. There will be a part 2 to this expanding some of my feelings while also outlining where I might go from here because things are going on in my head, and I don’t actually know whether I will continue or not with this project. Right now, it feels like it’s drifting toward a more original direction (Charlie feels like an entirely different yet vaguely similar character and dang it I’m attached…It’s kinda weird lol) so….anyway—I digress.

Thank you for reading.

[gh0stgr1nder]

the spine spg autism/masking allegory mini essay but i just ramble incoherently the whole time . the second ^_^

the spine shows multiple multiple signs and symptoms of autism throughout various concerts, songs, and various other canon material.

One of these signs is his hyperfixation/special interest in cowboys and dinosaurs. His cowboy special interest is a decently big part of his character, he has a repeating bit in live concerts where he pretends he and the other automatons (to my knowledge it only happens in the MK III era? so rabbit and hatchworth) are in the wild west, in a rex marksley live performance hatchworth says the spine has been "so excited to come down here and sing his western songs, hes been talking about it for months" (the spine's also always the one to start rex marksley or suggest they play it), most of his solo songs are at least influenced by country/western music (i.e: hot on the trail, bad days on the horizon, me and my baby (saturday nights), automatonic electronic harmonics). And more but I'm kinda rambling now. He shares a dinosaur interest with zer0, there's a running gag where they get in fights over their dinosaur figures. He has a video on the band's youtube channel called Fun Facts with The Spine, which is. Fun Dinosaur Facts. with The Spine. He also roasts the viewer's gaming computer.

He has a ton of gags in live concerts where he shows various signs of autism but that'd just turn into rambling. This essay's going to focus on his masking themes.

For backstory, The Spine accepted an upgrade in the 50s. The upgrade was to change his design from more robot-like to look more like a human. Upgrade on the left, before (and after) on the right.

A few years later, he switched back to his before design, symbolizing his narrative of learning how to let himself stop pretending.

The next thing I'll talk about are the songs Cellophane, Wired Wrong, and Hot on the Trail.

The song Cellophane is a cover, the original song is by Sia. The chorus, "Can't you see I'm wrapped in cellophane / Watch the blood pump through my veins / Electricity floods my brain / Can't hide the pain, can't hide the pain / When you're wrapped in cellophane" is about him worrying about people seeing who he really is. When you've spent your whole life pretending it's hard to see what's you and what isn't. It being a cover adds to his narrative, it wouldn't be repression if it was his own words.

Wired Wrong is a song from the album MK III. The song starts with the lyrics, "My brain is wired all wrong / And they'll agree because it's easier to say I am gone / It's time to face the truth in a song / I've always told myself that it was never true / Was never true / Was never ever ever true / It can't be true / It can't be true / It must not be true" and reprises that with "Sometimes I think that I am the only one / Who's been built poor in the way that he runs / But how can that be? / Am I really that flawed? / I am not the only one" It's very easy to see how that would be a neurodivergence allegory. It's a bitter questioning-acceptance song. David Bennett said that he wrote the song about his experiences with mental issues.

Hot on the Trail is a song from the album 1896. I interpret the song as a rage-ish-acceptance song (about a semi-abusive relationship?). It's a faster and more emotional song than the rest of The Spine's songs. The lyrics "Well, you don't like that way that I am / It's not the way that you want and the way you understand / But I can't help being the way that I am / It's just the way that it is and what I know, so sorry about / All of these things that I be and I know / It's all me and not you, but this ain't how I wish it to be / For you and your way and I know it's all me / Just know that I know, I know it's all on me" "All the little pieces make up so much sense in the distance" "So sorry about all of these things that you didn't sign up for / And I don't wish the pain on you, it's so sore / But I've been honest to fault, but it doesn't help / I know that it hurts, and it hurts, and it keeps on hurting" "And I didn't know what, what to do / I told myself the truth, the truth / And I could understand and you could understand / But how could we stand when there was nowhere to stand?" " And you don't like what it is (you don't like what it is) / And you don't know what it is (you don't know what it is) / And I can't sum it up easily / But I know what it is that I plainly see / Yeah, who could have liked what it was? / It caused such a fuss" are very autism coded. "all the little pieces make up so much sense in the distance" "I told myself the truth, the truth" are very relatable to me and how I felt realizing I was autistic, "I told myself the truth, the truth" also connects to "its time to face the truth in a song // it cant be true / it cant be true / it must not be true" from Wired Wrong.

In conclusion of my shitty little essay, The Spine is an autism allegory. His narrative is objectively based on masking and pretending/trying to be something you're not and never will be.

[quijabored]

Spoilers for S4 and first 2 episodes of S5

Im gonna try to not make this very long because I'm going through a what the fuck moment and I do not know how to process this :D (Finished the second episode and immediately went to Tumblr)

(Spoilers, this is very long ✌️)

With that being said

WHAT THE FUCK???

OKAY UH, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START CUZ LIKE

AAAAAA????

OKAY

OKAY UH

KENJI

HES BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH, GOT STABBED THROUGH THE STOMACH TWICE AND THEN GOT JUST HORRENDOUSLY HURT

LIKE MY POOR BOY

YOSANOS BACKSTORY?? I LOVE IT SO MUCH HOLY SHIT

I HATE MORI SO MUCH

And with my undying hatred for Mori, I can also say he seems incredibly interesting.

I hate that I want to know more about him and I absolutely will, BUT FUCK

Then there was the Agency being split us and-

AAGGHHH IM CRYINGGGG

Not actually, but God damn it I was on the verge of sobbing so many times-

I love this series so much but how the fuck am I supposed to process this-??

ALSO TACHIHARA BEING THE FIFTH GUY LIKE??? AAAA???

I actually hate Fyodor so much oh my god (I want him)

SPEAKING OF FYODOR

SIGMA????

I MET HIM AND LIKE HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY I LOVE HOW DESPERSTE HE IS AND I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE 3 YEARS OLD THING AND JUST AKSKDHJS

ALSO

ATSUSHI HELPING OUT YET ANOTHER PERSON JS LIKE HE DID TO KYOKA?? LIVE LAUGH ATSUSHI BRO HES SO SILLY

AND THEN WHEN HE WAS FALLING OFF THE SKY CASINO I WAS SITTING THERE LIKE WHAT THE FUCK??

I KNEW HE SHOWED UP LATER CUZ OF CLIPS BUT FOR SOME REASON IT JS DIDNT PROCESS AND I WAS GENUINELY ABOUT TO CRY

And then Nikolai saved him :D

LIVE LAUGH NIKOLAI BRO HES SO SILLY

Hes just like me fr except I'm not a Ukranian terrorist :3

ALSO I LOVE TACHIHARA SO MUCH I JUST AAAGHHHHH

JOUNOS KIND OF A BITCH (Ive already signed the adoption papers, I love him so much he seems really interesting-)

AND MY BBG TETCHOU???

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE SEEMS SO SILLY AND EVEN IF HE HASNT HAD MUCH SCREEN TIME I JUST AAAGHHHH

Also fuck Fukuchi

LIKE I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST A SILLY GUY

"Now I just have to hope no one becomes a character I absolutely despise :3"

YEAH NO I WAS WRONG CUZ WTF

And then during the whole scene where he was talking with Ranpo and he was like "the president trusts you, so do I."

AT THAT POINT IT KINDA CLICKED AND I WAS LIKE "Oh shit its Fukuchi isnt it."

BUT THEN I HAD NOTHING TO GO OFF OF AND I DIDNT WANNA SIT AND THINK IN THE MIDDLE OF A VERY IMPORTANT EPISODE

OH BEFORE I START YAPPING ABOUT THAT

RANPO JUST ABSOLUTELY SAVING EVERYONE??? I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GOD HE JUST LIKE ME FR

AAAAAA AND THEN THE WAY HE TALKS ABOUT FUKUZAWA LIKE AAGHH THEYRE FAMILY :(

AAAA AND THEN POE BEING THERE LIKE AKSHAKJDS SEEING MY SON IN A SUIT WAS SO SILLY ITS LIKE WATCHING YOUR CHILDREN GO OFF TO PROM OR A WEDDING I THINK-

AND THEN POE BEING SUPER HAPPY ABOUT HELPING AND RANPO PUSHING HIM ASIDE PLEASE I LOVE THEM

ANYWAYS BACK TO FUKUCHI

THEN RANPO STARTED EXPLAINING ALL THE EVIDENCE AND I SAT THERE AND I WAS TRYING SO DAMN HARD TO BE LIKE "Pshhhh- No waayy Fukuchis actually a really really really bad person right??"

AND THEN HE WAS

I HATE THIS SHOW SO MUCH (I dont I love this show it has been my hyperfixation for so long please help I have dreams about bsd this is just like my Danganronpa phase oh dear god-)

AAAAA NO BUT GOD DAMN IT I NEED TO STAB FUKUCHI

ITS REALLY WEIRD CUZ I LIVE LAUGH FYODOR BUT FUKUCHI JUST MAKES ME UPSET

If he doesnt have a good motive Im actually crying, though I get that not all characters are supposed to be redeemable, I just got really attached to Fukuchi really fast and seeing him yap was super silly :(

Fyodor works a lot differently than Fukuchi and I really really do love Fyodor-

Also Nikolai saying he's gonna kill Fyodor? Genuinely wonder if he's even capable of that cuz his ability is able to catch you off guard, but Fyodors such an incredibly silly guy and I wouldn't be surprised if he was able to stop anything from Nikolai

Not only an assassination attempt (Even though I doubt Nikolai would get very far with that-) legit something as simple as trying to scare him-

Also Fyodor understanding Nikolai? Dear gods I love them so much they make me wanna tear out my soul-

Making a little fanart for them and while I'm not sure if I'm actually gonna share it, they are very adorable in their own odd way

Back to the casino scenes, while I absolutely adore Tetchou and Jouno, TEROKUS JUST SO SILLY

PLEASE I LOVE HER SO MUCH I HOPE WE GET TO SEE MORE OF HER EVWN IF SHE DOESNT SEEM VERY RELIVANT TO THE PLOT WHERE IM AT RN

AAAAAA ALSO, S5 EP2 ENDS WITH AKUTAGAWA BEING ON THE SHIP AND AHDKAHSKS

SHIN SOUKOKU CANON EVERYONE

I HAVE BEEN DESPERATELY STARVED OF AKUTAGAWA CONTENT FOR A LITTLE BIT SO SEEING HIM MAKES ME SO HAPPY

AND SEEING HIM WITH ATSUSHI??? EVEN HAPPIER, I KNOW THEYRE GONNA DO A BIG FIGHT TOGETHER AND ITS LIKE AAAA THEYRE WORKING TOGETHER WILLINGLY NOW!! (Kiiind of)

LIVE LAUGH LOVE BSD BUT DEAR GOD ITS MAKING ME GO INSANE

AND BEFORE I FORGET YET AGAIN, I LOVE SEEING ODASAKU MEAN SO MUCH TO DAZAI AND ANGO LIKE AHHHH THIS SERIES MAKES ME SO UPSET IN A GOOD WAY

AND MUSHITARO MAKES ME GO YIPPEE PLEASE I LOVE HIS CHARACTER SO MUCH

ALSO DAZAI BEING ABLE TO CONTROL HIS HEARTBEAT?? WHAT CAN HE *NOT* DO????

And why the fuck does the sky casino look like a beyblade like I love him but someone's gotta get him into an exterior design class

THE INTERIOR DESIGN THOUGH, PLEASE I LOVE IT ITS SO BRETTY LIKE LET ME GO THERE

Just searched up Beyblade to make sure I got the spelling right and what do you mean there's a hello kitty beyblade give it to me

Also Sigma just panicking for half the episode is so fucking relatable

OH ALSO

THE WAY HOW HE SEEMS SO DEVOTED AND LOYAL TO THE SKY CASINO?? I LOVE HIM HE MAKES ME SO SAD

I can't remember if I already mentioned I have adopted him but I have ✌️

He's so silly after I finish my Akutagawa and Fyodor obsession plus actually finish the story (or at least whats written right now) I'm focusing entirely on him

Okay maybe my Aku and Fyodor obsession won't ever subside but if it doesn't I'm making space for him in there-

Live laugh Nikolai I know I haven't mentioned him too much but he's such a silly character and he makes me happy-

AAAA ALSO FUKUCHI HAVING THE PAGE LIKE IM GONNA EAT THAT DAMN PAPER JUST LET THE ADA LIVE IN PEACE-

ALSO GOT SO SCARED WHEN GIN WAS STABBED, GENUINELY THOUGHT SHE WASNT GONNA MAKE IT

Okay I think that's enough yapping for today, might watch another episode might not, but either ways I'm dreaming about it again ✌️

ALSO WHEN I SWITCH TO THE MANGA SINCE S6 ISNT THERE CUZ YK NOT MUCH CONTENT TO WORK OFF OF YET, IM GONNA BE FROTHING AT THE MOUTH EVERY DAMN MONTH FOR NEW BSD CHAPTERS

AHHH I HEARD THAT THERES A NEW CHAPTER RELEASED AROUND EVERY MONTH AND ITS LIKE YK WHAT GET THAT COIN ASAGIRI, ILL WAIT AS LONG AS I NEED

Okay kinda unrelated but I love lucid dreaming so much like what do you mean I can bend reality at my will to make an episode of bsd that shows Fyolai being canon and adopting 3 cats

GOD I CANT WAIT TO BUY THE MANGA (I have to actually save up tho so I gotta wait a bit longer ✌️)

I know I could just find pdf files online but I js really really like reading physically so uh ill get to pdf reading when I get desperate 😋

[cookii-moon]

This is my excuse to gush over Dragon form because yes.

Basically headcanon and redesign galore yayy

More under the cutoff since this is LONG. You have been warned.

The first part is an introduction, and then the second is actually talking about my designs and ideas and stuff, plus some thoughts/snippets/headcanons... help me.

SO apparently I am far more stupid than I thought, and the reason I say that is because for WHATEVER REASON, it took me ONE. YEAR. For the thought "Hey Cookie the ninja became dragons that one time" to even properly cross my mind, let alone set in. Which is surprising, because I historically freak out over dragons. You'd think that my favorite blorbos having dragon forms would make me instantly go crazy, but no, it took an entire year for my brain to even realize it was... you know... dragon related... even.though I knew they were dragon related... I just didn't... does that make sense? Probably not.

ANYWAYS

As it stands the dragon forms are forgettable because they're literally just reskins but with different element colors (which makes sense, cause yknow... Lego molds...) and then they vanish which obviously yeah. Who knows maybe they'll come back in dragons rising now that the ninja have their powers again.

BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP ME FROM GUSHING OVER THEM ONE YEAR AFTER THEY WERE RELEVANT.

Hyperfixation transcends the measly concept of time (actually that's probably not true I wouldn't know since I don't think about the very fabric of reality that often) so good luck stopping me.

ANYWAY, so uh... I might or might not have on a whim made messy concept sketches for each dragon form, made up a ton of headcanons, and chosen color scheme... no... no I didn't do that.

Okay yeah I did that.

...I was supposed to do two at a time.

How did I get here. The power of autistic brain.

Time to actually talk about the designs!!

Uhhh I'm gonna go in true potential order... because yes.

First... Zaneee!!!

Without color in case it's confusing

Also you're gonna notice a trend with this being that the drawings are not high quality or rendered or anything and are sloppily colored and that's because they're just concepts. I only did the actual "big" draconic traits because I wanted to get it finished quickly so i had an excuse to talk about it. If I ever do use them for an actual art piece then I'll fully render them n stuff obviously this is just to get across the concept.

So since Zane is a robot it.. would be kinda hard for him to suddenly get like.. organic dragon wings... or whatever...

So instead- he gets cybernetic dragon wings and a tail. Yes i know that still requires cartoon logic. The power of creation just magicked them into existence OK? It makes more sense than randomly growing scales.

The mechanic parts are mostly held together/afloat by the ice energy flowing through them (which is what the crystal-like fragments that make up most of his wings are!)

Also his horns are like a little crown... because... I dunno I thought it'd fit with his haircut and such but also ice Emperor (even though he didn't really wear a crown) look this was drawn at like 2 am I don't know what I was thinking with it or why I didn't actually draw the haircuts as well..

I imagine that he'd be very cold to the touch, especially his wings (which are pretty much sheets of ice) both Jay and Kai have ways of circumventing it, but when Cole has to deal with it (like sitting next to him or such) he gets sluggish pretty quickly. Zane is still trying to figure out a way to ease it a bit.

He also tends to make clanging noise by tapping his tail against the ground when he's upset, or make mechanical whirring noises when irritated. Nobody quite knows why since yknow robot, it's just a quirk.

His ice energy does mean he's gotten a power boost. Just like literally everyone else.

Also this is going to involve me assuming they kept these features because if Lloyd can be part dragon then so can the ninja I dare you to fight me /lighthearted

Jay!! He bird. Feather scrunchie.

"But Cookie that's not a dragon-"

Shhhh If a dinosaur can have feathers so can a dragon they're both giant reptiles OK. Feather dragon. It's a thing.

I'm going to be honest the only thing going through my mind while drawing this was vague wing shapes I can't even put a name to (they were probably from monster hunter... I think... Uh... ) and silkie chickens. Not quite sure why I thought of silkie chickens, but I did. So here we are.

So anyways I love him. HIM!! FEATHER MAN!!!

Also I just realized while writing this he can finally be fugi dove's proper equal and arch nemesis. Amazing.

So while drawing I was like "it'd be neat if he could produce static n such with his wings/feathers" so I took off to the internet and after trying a ton of different "CAN BIRDS MAKE STATIC" "ARE BIRD FEATHERS STATIC" and such search queries I finally came up with that ostrich feathers can have static and chicken feathers were used in computer components and hummingbirds can produce static from how fast they flap their wings. Is that trustworthy whatsoever? Probably not. (Surprisingly the most trustworthy one seems to be that chicken feathers were used for computer components which is funny) But rule of cool. I get to break the laws of physics and reality for my story as long as it's cool. Yay.

He's very fluffy and enjoys using his wings to snuggle up in bed :) Cole also tries to steal him as a blanket during winter. Nya and Lloyd can't because of the static but Cole can't be shocked so Jay just has to begrudgingly accept it with his hollow bones and consequentially low weight. He's also known to let sparks off when he's excited/happy, which is f u n.

Also I used the blue/yellow color palette because they seem to be leaning towards using more yellow in Jay's color themes (like how they started using orange in Cole's or blue in Zane's) and I thought it worked really well here so yeah!! It also helps differentiate him even more.

He sheds like crazy. Especially during winter where he gets EVEN FLUFFIER. (no one knows how it's even possible) Feathers everywhere. Cole and Kai also shed, but they shed skin all in one go (usually..), whereas Jay just leaves a pillows worth of feathers everywhere he inhabits, and it drives them insane.

The type of dragon he is is mostly a flight based species. They hunt in the air, live in the air for most of their lives, and such. Because of that not only does he rarely sit down, but he is FILLED with excess energy. He's also the most natural and second fastest flier, and fastest consistent flier.

Because the type of dragon he takes after is so focused on flight, they also roost up in really high places, so you'll probably find him on the top bunk, up in rafters, on the Monastery roof, etc. He loves that they're on a mountain because it means he can take a flight whenever he wants to. That doesn't stop him from being horrible at evading actual birds, though.

He also regularly makes "chirp" and clicking noises. (By chirp I mean the type a cat will do while looking at a window or such. Look up cats chirping or smthn for an example if u haven't heard it before.)

Could I have just made him a dragon with lightning bolt patterns?

Yes but that would be very boring and uncreative (in my opinion and standards I hold myself to ofc-) SO.

Jay is chicken. Jay uses wings to shoot lightning. Thank you for your time.

Cole. He crystal dragon. He's probably also gonna be a pain to draw (but also very fun) because of that. Yay.

I could of just done magma but I loved the idea of like a crystal dragon. So I made a ninjago related crystal dragon...

... again. Don't ask about the first one.

so uh I chose the colors bc like light blues/purples/white are pretty stereotypical crystal colors (plus I think they're pretty) and then orange... because. Cole. He has little crystal patches all over him and his scales also have like.. small crystals dotted all over.

I feel like whatever species of dragon he is is probably adapted to like.. mostly living in caves? Like cave bats kinda where it goes outside at night to hunt but sleeps and lives in caves, and probably goes deeper in the cave to hibernate. So because of that he can be sensitive to artificial light and doesn't really have any like adaptations for the winter, so he just tries to snuggle up with Jay or Kai to keep warm and gets really tired/sluggish when he's cold because reptile. On the other end he can sense vibrations since his species wouldn't be relying on sight as much, which is very handy.

Unlike Zane, Jay, or Kai, he can't really "fly" exactly. His wings are much smaller because the species kinda adapted to being able to use them as a sort of speed boost thing where they'd use them to get quick bursts of flight to catch prey, but since they mostly hunted on the ground and lived in caves they didn't need full on flight. However it's sorta a peregrine falcon situation where technically he is the fastest of all the ninja in flight, but only during a short burst.

He is also very well adapted to climbing vertical surfaces. His claws are REALLY good at gripping onto things since they were adapted to cling onto things such as stalactites, rock walls, etc. to traverse up ledges and deeper parts of caves, and he can also use his wings (and more specifically their claws) as a third pair of limbs to grip onto walls.

Cole tends to make more subtle noises, he growls when agitated and purrs when content or in pain (yes that's a thing, purring soothes and encourages healing, so cats will also purr when they're hurt or scared to comfort themselves) but it isn't very loud, so it's not easily noticeable.

Kai!!

Again

Could I have done magma for Cole and just given Kai flame wings?

Yes. But I'm not going to, because I find this approach more interesting.

... I joke that it's magma but not REALLy, it's still just.. fire... but his scales are brown cause I thought it fit. So. A lot of people like to draw Lloyd with the kinda dragon ears so I thought it'd be cute if Kai, as his guardian, also had them since, again, a lot of people like to see them as brothers. And I just gave him generic dragon horns. Because dragon.

It's hard to simplify it because... fire... so this is probably the worst sketch..

Look OK he gets to breathe fire. Like that's one of the most iconic medieval red dragon things, he's the fire ninja, he gets to breathe fire and blow smoke out of his nostrils when mad I don't make the rules.

I also kinda went all in on generic dragon tropes (i mean ig they're not as generic anymore because of stuff like HTTYD) because... Kai.

So like hot temper, fire breath, that type of thing.

He also has a hoarding habit, as in instead of cleaning or anything when he uses something and just tosses it aside, he puts it all in an ever growing pile of stuff that he just let's stay there until somebody else cleans it up because they were sick of it. Compared to Jay's feathers it's not the WORST thing in the world.

He's slower than Zane and Jay, but can fly for longer periods of time than Zane. His species is kind of adapted to flying closer to the land. So that they can eat some well cooked cow. Yknow generic dragon stuff.

I also think it'd be funny, since dragons are fiercely protective, if these dragons had a dragapult situation where if they didn't have a kid they'd just "adopt" (in their eyes, in reality it's abducting. Usually.) a random animal and pretend it's their child. Because. Kai.

He's also fireproof, to an extent. He can withstand intense heat (unlike Cole or Jay) and can withstand intense cold (Unlike Cole... poor guy) because fire. He can't dive bomb into a volcano though since it would eventually get through and burn him to a crisp, but in small amounts he'll be FINEEEE...

Im not quite sure if he'd make any sort of draconic noises or anything. I feel like maybe he'd growl when upset, but it'd be louder than Cole? Whereas Cole does it more frequently (probably to be passive aggressive) but it's much more silent. He also has a tendency to involuntarily raise his voice a lot.

Yeah that's about it. Also if you consider lloyd to be a dragon, or think of Nya as having dragon features from when she just became h2o that one time, then the entire group might as well be renamed to Dragon ninja. Even Wu!!

..I feel like Lloyd would be jealous- Like "Oh why do THEY get to go full dragon and have wings when I don’t?!" But he'd never say anything because Lloyd.. but everybody knows something is up and is trying to make him feel better... but it's making him feel worse because it just makes him feel more singled out... oh boy that's uh I'm gonna shut that depressing thought train down right there.

Poor pixal though... she's left out because she's too cool already.

ALSO if you ever use this or want to expand upon it/take inspiration from it PLEASE DO AND TELL/SEND IT TO ME I WANT TO SEE AND HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS PLEASE DHRJGJDJDJ I LOVE WHEN MY STUFF PROMPTS IDEAS

[fallloverfic]

Solo Leveling Episode 12 Thoughts

The final episode of season 1 was so good! Spoilery thoughts for the anime, novel, and manhwa below:

The fights were just incredible. The animation was gorgeous, all the voice acting and music were excellent, it's just beautiful to watch. Also really loved the anime version of the manhwa scene with Lee Joohee, Song Chiyul, and Sung Jinwoo himself appearing as mental projections. It looks really good and it hits really hard, emotionally. The visual parallels are also handled well. Jinwoo is getting hammered here, and it's nicely done.

It's also interesting to learn that Woo Jinchul was also at the third Jeju Island raid! Even though he was just handling security, he was there. It's nice to emphasize how big of a deal the Jeju raids are to South Korea, because it helps with how messy stuff is later. I like how the show is focusing on trauma and its effects.

I like the emphasis on how a big part of Jinwoo's survival is luck. And I imagine some folks see this as a cheat, though I also like how it just shows the story is sticking to his own rules. It's not like the daily quest ever stopped being a thing. But also like... a lot of this is luck. When you awaken and what rank you awaken to is luck-based, and you're just kind of stuck with it (which is a good metaphor for how people are born, as well, particularly in terms of economic status; folks are randomly born to rich families/otherwise in places with a lot more resources than others and thus have a way easier time in life than other folks because resources are everything; it has nothing to do with ability, and it's massively unfair). If Jinwoo gets a little extra luck kinda because he's hyperfixated on something and it helps him survive, it's actually kind of fair, because at least that's sticking to a system of rules he ignored. And still a nice reflection on an unfair system.

Even the fights in the penalty room are amazing XD I don't go for stuff with giant insects, so the way this was a pleasure to watch was really awesome. I love the animation with Jinwoo flicking the mana potion away. I don't have any screencaps because I'd take far too many. All of the fights are good.

I still love seeing more of Choi Jongin and Cha Haein interact (with a brief cameo of a silent Lee Bora). Really glad the anime added little things like this. It's similar to what happens later, but it's nice to see them working together more.

The end of knight fight is incredible. All his movements are excellent. It's just really impressive.

It's also just really cute the way the notification window follows Jinwoo around the room as he's pondering lol

It's funny while I was reading the manhwa originally I related to this arc a lot as a former warlock player (loved running around with my army of summons who could just overwhelm any opponents, letting me stand safely in the back) but now I'm thinking of it more in terms of a death knight, particularly when Jinwoo is like, "There's no rule that says necromancers can't fight on the front lines". He is not wrong. Particularly if you've ever played the class in Diablo III, which is fun.

Jinchul just looks really pretty here. I love his relationship with Go Gunhee, and I'm still glad we're getting more of it in the anime.

And the Shadow Monarch arrives XD So happy :3 I also really love the nice touch in the manhwa, which the anime included, that the portal opening is purple, foreshadowing this part in the story with all the purple. It was always going to be this way (for other reasons). But it's a nice little visual touch.

Also framing this with Jinwoo being in front of the throne but slightly below it as well is really neat and also good foreshadowing.

He's so delighted by his ability XD I'm happy for him :3 Especially after he got brought so low earlier. He needs the pick-me-up. The shadow soldiers look really neat.

Distracted by the shadow soldier butt highlights alkdjaldja I just alkdjlaj YES IT'S A REALLY TENSE AND FUN SCENE WITH REALLY GREAT MUSIC BUT ALSO ldkjaljalaj (yes I know what codpieces are, I just lakjdlaj). It's not bad art or anything, I am just... Distracted TM roflmao

I like that Jinwoo still apologizes to the soldiers he dismisses, but he's sadder in the novel, and even in the manhwa. In the novel he has this, “He felt bad about getting rid of any of his soldiers. Even though he’d known them for only a few minutes, he was already attached to them.” (Volume 2, Chapter 4: Shadow Monarch by Chugong, Yen Press English release). In the novel and the manhwa he also looks a bit sad about it after apologizing, and thinks on it longer. It's a really humanizing moment for him, and shows how easy it is for Jinwoo to care about and sympathize with even complete strangers, particularly when they're his responsibility. It's not the worst change, and the anime has plenty of other moments that show his humanity, but it's just one of those little things...

I'm really curious about Gunhee's neck scar: who did that and how? In the novel, it's stated that he was too old when he awakened to ever fight as a Hunter: he's never been in a dungeon. The neck scar is part of his design in the manhwa, and he's just generally heavily scarred. He's a neat character who doesn't get explored enough. Looking forward to them expanding even more on him in future cours.

Shadow Igris looks so pretty. (Also there's a moment where he seems to purr around 20:48, which is I just think the sound of the movement of him standing, but it's hummy and sort of purr-like alkdjlaj and it kills me akdjlajal Purring Igris yes, thank you :3). Also, I love that the cape pops out of his back like butterfly wings alkdjalj beautiful. The way he walks around and the camera focuses on him and the click of his heels, just everything about him is so beautifully animated. I love this so much.

Ahh, I figured Jongin's expedition would find the flying ant. And so it begins.

That was such a good episode. An excellent season. Some leaks have stated that there are plans for like 6 cours or 3 regular seasons (and a PV for the end of the series with some spoilery footage), so I'm not that worried about the rest being animated (with some extra anime-original stuff, judging by how many episodes that'd be), though there will seemingly be delays. But with quality like this I'm happy to wait. I hope the crew get the time they need to make more awesome seasons without straining themselves. Ahh this was so GOOD!!!

Other episode reactions:

S01E05

S01E06

S01E07

S01E08

S01E09

S01E10

S01E11

S01E12 (you are here)