#benjamin greene imagine

[izels-writing]

Hi, I recently discovered your page and I love it! I was wondering if you could do a “to all the boys I loved before” trope with reader and James potter? Like reader is similar to Lara Jean and James to Peter Kavinsky

of course of course!! i’m not sure if you wanted the storyline or just the character-likeness, so i did a little bit of both! tysm for the request my love!💗

also gonna make this more than one part bc I don’t wanna make it super long but I don’t wanna rush it either!!

j. potter — how forever feels ! [1/7]

Pairing: james potter x fem!hopelessromantic!reader

Summary: the stars have aligned and you and james’ futures had intertwined.

Warning: surprise kiss (not in a malicious way!), anxiety, upsetting situation, james potter is a cutie i love him, fake dating trope!!!, let me know if i miss anything!

PART ONE — PART TWO — PART THREE

for as long as you could remember, you'd been a hopeless romantic. every love story, every gesture, and every confession of love in all the romance movies you'd seen were every idea of perfect you could imagine.

except, this idea of love often came with side effect called fear of rejection. so every crush and every feeling that ever developed for someone, you'd never admit it aloud.

so you did the next best thing. you wrote it down.

for the past couple of years, each time you'd fallen completely in love with someone—you wrote them a letter. you'd fallen for them, to you, this was your way of letting them go after the fact. you wrote the letter, pouring out your heart and then some, before stuffing the addressed but never mailed letter in a shoebox and shoving it to the back of your closet.

and from then on, you'd let go of these feelings of love that plagued your every waking moment.

and despite it sounding like many—you only had three letters so far.

the first letter you'd ever wrote was to evan rosier in your first year. before teenage drama and bullshit took over and corrupted his terrible soul, the two of you had shared a class together—potions. he was kind and sweet and very good at potions, always asking to be your partner because you weren't so good at it. it was a puppy love, with him giving you small gifts and offering to help you study. had he not been enthralled by the idea of being exactly like his family, you were sure he was it.

the second letter you ever wrote was to james potter in the fourth year. you two had signed up for a valentine's day hogsmeade trip, where the prefects were to assign everyone a partner for the day—who would then go to different stores and shops, getting into the valentine's day spirit. thinking back now, it seems silly, but to fourteen yerra-old you, it was a chance at love. when you were assigned james potter, you were thrilled. he was handsome and a famous quidditch player, he seemed like the entire package. and he was. he was a complete gentleman, holding the door open for you, buying you a small bouquet of flowers at hogsmeade, offering you his coat—the works. he was pleasant to talk to too, making you laugh and finding him and his stories rather interesting. had it not been for the fact that he was infatuated with lily evans, you would like to think you'd have gone on a few more dates after that.

and now, in you sixth year, you'd written one to benjamin jones—your best friends boyfriend. you couldn't help it, when last year you'd been paired together for care of magical creatures and began to fall for him. his kind green eyes, his sweet smile, and the way you could tell him anything and everything without him judging. he was the epitome of what you wanted. he was a friend, but you were also in love with him.

granted, he hadn't been your best friends boyfriend when you had fallen for him. that came after the fact. and while it hurt, you made peace with it once you wrote your letter.

except, your sibling had made the mistake of stumbling across the wrong box to mail. and your parents made the mistake of mailing the letters. and the mistakes rolled on from there.

and now you were left dealing with the fact that the three boys you still went to school with would read your letter.

——

"they what?!" you blurted angrily.

"they mailed the letters. i didn't realize what they were until now when evan opened his! i'm sorry, y/n!" your siblings exclaimed.

you felt your entire world spin. there was no way you could continue your day, much less your life. three boys in this school now had your innermost thoughts and feelings revealed to them. thing you'd never say aloud, much less tell them.

your breathing quickened and you felt yourself feeling lightheaded. you turned to your best friend, "i'm so sorry, i wrote that letter before you two got together,"

lie.

"i know, i know, it's okay. i know your process. why don't we go back to your dorm, okay?" she replied kindly, helping you stand.

this response eased your nerves a bit, but nonetheless, the panic was still setting in. you nodded, getting up to make your way back to your dorm. you couldn't believe this right now.

as you walked, your breathing kept quickening. you began to see dark spots and hoped you'd make it back to your dorm before any of them had the thought to come up to you.

but realizing your state, your best friend took you to the courtyard for some much needed fresh air. making students were out there, enjoying their breakfast on such a beautiful day.

a beautiful day for them.

she sat you by a concrete ledge, helping you sit properly as you attempted to calm down. you tried to breathe in and out.

"i'm going to go get you some water, okay? stay here!" she said calmly, running off.

you nodded as she left, feeling your breathing slow. there's no way any of them could think to find you out here...right?

wrong.

"l/n!" a voice called out as they ran toward you. the brown-skinned, tall, muscular boy who was the subject of your second letter made his way over to you. in his hand he held the infamous letter. you swallowed thickly.

"uhm, hi," you replied timidly.

he sat next to you, taking a deep breath and likely preparing himself for what he thought was going to be a difficult conversation. "how are you? uhm, listen i wanted to talk to you about this letter you wrote me..."

you turned to james, wishing the ground could swallow you whole. "oh?"

"yeah, listen, you're a great girl—you're beautiful and funny and smart, but uh, i don't like you that way—" james said sheepishly, hoping you wouldn't get upset.

"i don't like you anymore, james, i wrote that letter two years ago. you were never supposed to see it," you blurted your confession. he sighed and smiled.

"oh great, i was afraid—"

"y/n!" a familiar voice exclaimed. your blood ran cold.

benjamin jones.

"i'm sorry," you told james suddenly as you figured out the only escape you could.

"for what?" james questioned, but he didn't have much time to elaborate because before he knew it—you kissed him. roughly, but nicely. for a weak moment, living out a fantasy he'd had at fourteen, he kissed back.

unbeknownst to him, you took a peak and noticed that benjamin and your best friend had spotted you. she chuckled and got him to walk off with her, explaining away the letter to her boyfriend. because while she may not know the letter was not before they began dating, given the contents of it, he likely did.

you pulled away as they walked off. you looked at james apologetically.

"wait.." he muttered in confusion. "you don't like me, right?"

"i'm so sorry," you replied quickly. and just like that, you stood up and ran off.

——

after a emotionally tumultuous few days, you were finally focused back on your studies. as of right now, you were in the library and attempting to take your mind off of everything while pouring your entire brain into completing your DADA essay.

but the universe had other plans for you.

"y/n?" a familiar voice called out. you looked up and felt your heart drop. you hadn't really spoken to him since...well, since you'd kissed him.

"james, hi..." you attempted a smile, but you only looked embarrassed. and to say you felt embarrassed was an understatement.

"you're a tough girl to find, l/n," he chuckled. he took a seat across from you, nodding to your assignment sprawled in front of you. "what're you doing?"

"oh, DADA essay," you said offhandedly.

"i have no idea how to ask this, so i'm just going to ask it," he prefaced, his tone sounding confused. "uh, why did you kiss me?"

you felt your face burn up. "i'm so sorry, look i really am. it's just...you're not the only person i wrote a letter to,"

"i'm not? way to make a guy feel less special," he muttered with a slight frown. "but i was your favorite letter to write, right?" he added hopefully.

"james," you warned.

"okay, okay...but that doesn't explain why you kissed me," he grinned. "did my dashing looks just fog your mind?"

"you wish," you rolled your eyes playfully. "look, i recently wrote a letter to someone who had a girlfriend, and that girlfriend is dear to me. i didn't want to make it awkward you know? so, i thought if he saw us kissing, he'd drop it. and so far, he has..."

james nodded. "makes sense, i suppose."

his mind seemed to drift off until finally, he smiled mischievously at you. you gave him a wary look.

"we can help each other," he grinned, leaning back in his chair.

"and how do you suppose we do that?" you asked carefully.

"well you don't want this guy to think you like him right? and well, i have a problem of my own.." he explained.

"which is?" you asked.

"you know lily evans?" he asked. you nodded. "well, she's dating this tosser, really. she and i had a moment back over the summer and really, i just want her to see we're right for each other..."

you nodded. "you want to make her jealous,"

"exactly! and, if you and i pretend to date, we can get rid of both of our problems!" james added happily.

"would that even work? it's so spontaneous and sudden, people have never even seen us together besides that one hogsmeade trip two years ago," you asked warily. "it's a good idea in theory, but realistically...?"

"we'll plant roots! like i'll say i'm not understanding something and you overheard and offered to tutor me! we'll spend some time here together for like a week or two and then bam, we start going out!" he explained with a grin.

you weighed out the options. eventually you'd have to talk about it with benjamin, but not if you had a boyfriend. and it'd solve james' problem too.

"fine, but we're establishing rules. like no kissing!" you explained quickly as james began to celebrate.

"no kissing? what're you? a nun? surely you've kissed someone before," he chuckled.

you remained quiet, struggling to meet his eyes. it wasn't for lack of wanting to—you just wanted your first kiss to be perfect and special.

"i want it to be special, okay?" you snapped quietly.

"okay, okay, understandable. what else?" he asked.

"we have to spend time together actually, and learn things about each other so we're not blindsided by questions. second, we can't tell anyone—what we're doing, it's so juvenile everyone would just laugh," you added. "and, we have to try to have dates together as much as we can, make it believable,"

james nodded to everything. "i agree. but i have rules too,"

you sighed. "okay, let's hear them,"

"you have to wear my quidditch jersey and attend my games, plus go to parties with me. and, you have to come with me to the quidditch end of year ball,"

the night was notorious for quidditch players sleeping with their significant others. it was meant for sixth and seventh years to attend a ball out of hogwarts, at some other school and chatting with international teams who were scouting for their next players. it was the beginning of the year and surely the ruse wouldn't last that long. which is the only reason you did this:

"okay," you nodded with a smile.

he stuck his hand out, grinning at you. you took his hand and shook it.

"so, we have a deal," he replied.

"we do, now let me finish this essay," you joked.

"yes, ma'am," he chuckled.

[numberonenat]

i asked chat gpt to make a playlist based on my candy love characters...

here's part 2 and 3: others / dateables ul + chani

here's what it gave me:

castiel:

"make me wanna die" by the pretty reckless

"ignorance" by paramore

"welcome to the black parade" by my chemical romance

"bring me to life" by evanescence

"sugar, we're goin down" by fall out boy

"i write sins not tragedies" by panic! at the disco

"sk8er boi" by avril lavigne

"boulevard of broken dreams" by green day

"dirty little secret" by the all-american rejects

"i hate everything about you" by three days grace

"numb" by linkin park

"so cold" by breaking benjamin

"gasoline" by halsey

"the kill (bury me)" by 30 seconds to mars

"i miss you" by blink-182

nathaniel:

"fix you" by coldplay

"fireflies" by owl city

"hey, soul sister" by train

"how to save a life" by the fray

"i'm yours" by jason mraz

"all of me" by john legend

"love song" by sara bareilles

"banana pancakes" by jack johnson

"you're beautiful" by james blunt

"the way i am" by ingrid michaelson

"thinking out loud" by ed sheeran

"bubbly" by colbie caillat

"say something" by a great big world

"make you feel my love" by adele

"count on me" by bruno mars

lysandre:

"supermassive black hole" by muse

"personal jesus" by depeche mode

"sweater weather" by the neighbourhood

"mr. brightside" by the killers

"do i wanna know?" by arctic monkeys

"intro" by the xx

"shake it out" by florence + the machine

"summertime sadness" by lana del rey

"creep" by radiohead

"running up that hill" by placebo

"closer" by nine inch nails

"only happy when it rains" by garbage

"1979" by the smashing pumpkins

"sour times" by portishead

"teardrop" by massive attack

kentin:

"good vibrations" by the beach boys

"walking on sunshine" by katrina and the waves

"don't stop believin'" by journey

"good time" by owl city

"here comes the sun" by the beatles

"happy" by pharrell williams

"sun street" by katrina and the waves

"shut up and dance" by walk the moon

"i'm a believer" by the monkees

"africa" by toto

"i'm gonna be (500 miles)" by the proclaimers

"dancing queen" by abba

"mr. blue sky" by elo

"all star" by smash mouth

"on top of the world" by imagine dragons

armin:

"video killed the radio star" by the buggles

"don't stop me now" by queen

"bohemian rhapsody" by queen

"take on me" by a-ha

"livin' on a prayer" by bon jovi

"sweet child o' mine" by guns n' roses

"every breath you take" by the police

"another one bites the dust" by queen

"don't you (forget about me)" by simple minds

"eye of the tiger" by survivor

"we will rock you" by queen

"don't stop believin'" by journey

"sweet caroline" by neil diamond

"boys of summer" by don henley

"hotel california" by eagles

i actually like this a lot lol

this is always so fun to make even if they don't make sense so yeah qskjvfhdjw

i'll make a part 2!!!

[shadowtheadorablelifeform]

Hi everyone welcome to my blog!🥰 I’m just your typical 20 year old who loves Sonic.

💖Some cool facts about me💖

⬇️

Pronouns: She/her

Hobbies: Singing, reading, writing, baking

Interests: Sonic, Anime, Music

Sexuality: Straight

Zodiac: ♋️

Age: 20

Pets: 2 kitties and 2 puppos

Music: Pop/rock

Fave bands: Green Day, LINKIN PARK, STARSET, Simple Plan, Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, Shinedown, Imagine Dragons

Fave color: Pink and Red

Food: Pizza, chocolate, muffins, cake, chicken, Mac n cheese, fruit, tacos.

Games: Sonic, Mario, Smash, Roblox

Fave season/holiday: Fall and Halloween🍁🎃

I also kinda—well— reallyyyy adore Shadow. Maybe a little too much.🤭🤭

Thanks for reading my blog! =) <3 xoxoxoxo

[girlactionfigure]

🟪US ENVOY INCIDENT, INFILTRATION TO AMBUSH - Real time from Israel  

🅸🆂🆁🅰️🅴🅻 🅁🄴🄰🄻🅃🄸🄼🄴 - "Connecting the World to Israel in Realtime"

▪️NORTHERN TOWNS SCHOOL OPENS - The first day of the opening of educational institutions in the north: About 47% of the residents who were evacuateddue to the war have returned to their homes.

▪️TERROR - 2 FIRE BALLOONS - (these are fire bombs launched on helium balloons, designed to start a fire on landing) Jerusalem area, Givat Ronen and Psagot, and another in the air from the Burin area.

The launching of fire balloons seems to be a Ramadan activity, balloons bearing the inscription "Al-Aqsa" have already landed in several Israeli communities in Samaria and Benjamin.

▪️TERROR - STOPPED - A huge Purim miracle - There is currently a gag order on the entire affair, we can only say that there was a report that a terror cell from Jenin was captured that was on its way to carry out a major attack during the Purim holiday. (Elia Aviv)

▪️THE US ENVOY BOEHLER AFFAIR - after previous statements about negotiations with Hamas, where the comments seemed to praise Hamas possibly being flexible the envoy has put out a clarifying statement:

“I want to be CRYSTAL CLEAR as some have misinterpreted.  Hamas is a terorrist organization that has murdered thousands of innocent people.  They are BY DEFINITION BAD people.  And as POTUS (US president) has said, not a single Hamas member will be safe if Hamas doesn’t RELEASE ALL HOSTAGES IMMEDIATELY.”

.. He also said: Hamas has proposed a five- to ten-year ceasefire and that it will not act militarily or politically during that time.

.. Israeli sources say discussions have returned to the Wittkoff approach as opposed to the Boehler approach.

▪️RUMORS THE SYRIAN ALAWITES HAVE APPEALED TO ISRAEL - Alawite leaders in an urgent letter to the Prime Minister: "Save us.”  (( We can’t imagine why Israel would get directly involved in that part of Syria. ))

🎗️DEAL COSTS - (( we have noted in an informal mainstream media review that around 25% of headlines or primary stories are about hostage families and/or efforts or protests to return the hostages, while NONE of the headlines are about the horrific murderers being released, the positive terror motivation, or the growing terror incidents.  The narrative has been FIXED, and has we have seen from recent US politics - likely funded and managed. ))

♦️INFILTRATION to AMBUSH, TARKUMIYA - IDF forces operating in the Tarkumiya area identified a number of suspects who were attempting to cross the fence. The forces opened fire on the suspects, and casualties were identified.

♦️SAMARIA, SHECHEM - FIREFIGHT - Heavy exchanges of fire overnight in Shechem between IDF forces and terrorists.

♦️SAMARIA, TUBAS - “WORK ACCIDENT - Two Arabs injured as a result of a large explosive device explosion, blowing up a building. One in serious condition.  Likely accident in the preparation of explosives against Israel.

🔹SYRIA - latest reports say over 4,000 civilians killed by regime forces (over 10% of the supposed casualties in Gaza - in 3 days), though the EU continues to issue statements in support of the regime.  However, the US has upgraded to condemnation: Secretary of State Marco Rubio condemns radical terrorists in Syria.

🌎WORLD NEWS OF NOTE.. US Secretary of State Marco Rubio: We will revoke the visas and/or green cards of Hamas supporters in America so that they can be deported.

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

Chapter 7.5: The Only Escape

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter seven of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: Cursing (a few times), Drinking, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC,

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

A/N: I know I've been kinda awol lately, so please enjoy this outtake that I never posted for "You Call It Madness, But I Call It Love" as a bribe. It takes place between Chapter 6 and Chapter 8. Oh and yes I did name Soldier Boy's Dad, James, but only because I couldn't find it.

*************************************

Philadelphia 1936

"Where the hell is he?" The snarl shakes your entire house and wakes you from a fitful sleep.

"Who?" You hear your father say back to the voice.

"Benjamin!" The initial voice shouts back and you recognize it, sending a chill down your spine. 

Ben's father.

Ben stirs in the bed behind you, the arm he has thrown over you waist in his sleep to secure you into his chest is heavy, unyielding. And if it weren't for the circumstances you would stay and pretend to still be asleep so you could enjoy your close proximity.

Boarding school nine had been the longest stint that Ben had spent in any school. You wondered if that was because he genuinely tried or because he knew you were still at the Dawson School for Girls and he didn't have anywhere to go. Of course now you were on break, and although you had been surprised when he showed up at your window the night you returned home, you were happy.

You had missed your best friend more than words and when he crossed the threshold through the window you had practically crushed him against you in a hug that, much to your surprise, he returned with just as much enthusiasm. The most you'd been able to do was send him a few letters, but seeing him in person made you feel like your heart was whole again.

 School for you was going as well as you'd think. The only thing you'd ever been good at was art, but you were trying your best. You'd actually been able to make a few friends, but none of them filled the hole that opened in your heart when you left Ben standing on the train station platform watching you leave through the window.

"He’s not here James." Your father's voice is calm, controlled. You’d never seen him lose control, he was always well composed, even in the most stressful situations.

"What's wrong?" You hear your mother say from the stairs. You can imagine her bathed in the soft light from the hall lamps, wearing her perfect dressing gown, and looking effortless, not like she'd just been woken from sleep.

Your eyes go to the clock on your bedside table. It was past two in the morning, which meant that Ben's father was probably halfway through his second bottle of whiskey.

Probably has it with him.

"Where is y/n?" Ben's father roars through the door so loudly, you flinch.

Ben’s grip tightens on your waist and you turn to look over your shoulder at him. His eyes are wide, and you can see a vulnerability behind the green that strengthens you.

"It’s okay." You whisper to him. Your hand drifts to his arm where it rests around your waist, to soothe him. Ben doesn't remove it. "I'm just gonna go tell him that you're not here."

"Don’t go out there” Ben’s grip is unbreakable.

"It’ll be alright." You breathe.

Ben’s eyes are wide and for a moment you see the little eight year old boy hiding from his father in your fathers study all those years ago.

"No." He shakes his head.

"Ben. It's okay. I'll be right back." You say as you pull yourself reluctantly from his grip and slide out of the bed beside him. When you look back at the bed, Ben is still watching you with wide eyes, his hair mused on one side from sleep, and it takes everything for you not to return back to him.

"I know that son of a bitch is here! He's always here!" Ben's father shouts as you exit your room, the force of his rage no longer muffled against your bedroom door.

"Mom? Dad? What’s wrong?" You rub the sleep from your eyes, looking towards the staircase at the end of the hall where your parents stand in the way of Ben's father.

Each time you see him, you're always reminded of how much Ben looks like him. They have the same green eyes, the same handsome features, the same dark hair. But there are differences- his father always looks worn, his hair slicked back over his head and streaked with gray, his eyes were like two coal black pits that did not hold the warmth that Ben's did, and his father's features, although handsome, made him look cruel, not the same boyish ruggedness that Ben possessed.

"You!" His father snarls, pushing past your parents to stomp up the final stairs towards you. His suit is rumpled and unbuttoned, his usual slicked back hair is hanging in his eyes in long greasy strands, with unshaven cheeks, and he carries a half-full bottle of whiskey. "Where is my bastard of a son?"

"Y/n, go back to bed." Your father says from behind Ben's father, but you ignore him.

“Sir you are unwell. Perhaps you should go home and sleep.” You say keeping your voice as composed as you can. A small shiver of fear travels down your spine, but you shake it away remembering the look in Ben's eyes when he heard his father.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Ben's father snaps, continuing to advance on you, but you hold your ground. "Where is he?"

"He's at boarding school." The lie is immediate.

"You're lying." He takes a long pull from the bottle hanging from his hand. “Get out of my way.”

“No."

The smell of the alcohol on his breath washes across your face causing your nose to wrinkle. His eyes are blazing with the force of his anger, face contorted in rage. By now his father is standing a few feet away from you.

Too close.

"Ben’s not here. And this is my room.” You're clutching the sides of your nightgown so tightly that your fingers are white. The fear that rises in the back of your throat is pushed away by the anger you have towards Ben's father and the need to protect Ben. You'd always protected him the same way he protected you and that meant that you were not going to let his father into your room.

His father raises his free hand to move you away from your door, but your father intervenes. Your father's hand fastens on Ben's dad's wrist. “James. Do not touch my daughter.” Your father says. It was the first time you'd ever seen him sound angry and that scared you a little bit.

It seems to do something to Ben’s father, who takes a step back from the door, eyes burning with rage.

"If you see my son," Ben's father levels his gaze on yours, his eyes soul-less and cold, sending another shiver down your spine. "Tell him that I'm looking for him." He wrenches his hand from your father's grip, stomps down the stairs, and out the door, slamming it so loudly that the picture frames that line the hallway shake.

You release the breath you didn't know you were holding.

"Are you alright?" Your father asks, putting his hand on your shoulder.

Your mother is still watching from the top of the stairs and you can only imagine what she's thinking.

Probably that it's improper for me to be out here in my nightgown.

"Yeah. I'm just gonna- go back to bed." You begin to say, but your father hugs you before you go.

"Tell Ben that he doesn't have to leave." He whispers in your ear before he releases you and gently pushes you towards your bedroom door once more.

"What?" You look up at him with wide eyes, surprised.

How does he always know when Ben is here?

"Go on back to bed." He smiles tightly, but you can see how angry your father is in the tension in his shoulders.

"Okay. Goodnight mother." You say as you open your door.

"Goodnight."

When you close your door behind you, you realize that Ben isn't in bed anymore, he's halfway to the door as if he was going to come out of the room but stopped.

“Ben?" You whisper looking up into his wide eyes. You can see his anger, frustration, and beneath it all, you see genuine fear. You'd never seen Ben afraid before, not since the night you met and it breaks something deep down. But before you can do anything, Ben closes the distance between the two of you and pulls you tight into a hug, pressing his forehead into your shoulder. Warmth explodes wherever you’re touching and it take a great deal of effort for you not to melt.

“Hey. It’s okay.” You whisper, running your fingers through his hair. “He’s not going to come in here. He’s gone.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” His voice is no more than a whisper. “I was going to come out-“

“Yes I did. You’re my friend. And I’m glad you didn’t.” You wonder what his father would have done if Ben came out of your bedroom. Ben’s father never hit him, but it didn’t mean that what he did do was any less okay. Standing here with Ben is enough to make the anger and frustration you felt melt away. You’re not aware of anything else but Ben. The rapid beat of his heart against yours, the breaths he takes, and the way the warmth of his body floods through where you are pressed against one another. 

“I should go-“ He begins to pull away.

“Like hell I’m going to let you go home to be with him. Come on. Let’s go back to bed.”

Ben stands there for a minute. You’d never seen him look so lost.

“Ben?”

He blinks a few times. “Hmm.”

“Come on.” You gently take his hand and lead him to the bed, drawing him back under the covers with you.

Your hands go under his arms and you hold him to you, not caring that you usually didn’t hug in bed. But Ben doesn’t pull away, in fact he wraps his arms around your waist and presses his forehead into your shoulder again.

“It’s okay.” You breathe, moving your fingers back into his hair. Deep down you know that this is different than all the other nights you’ve shared together, that you shouldn’t do this, but you can’t stop. You can feel the rapid beat of his heart against your chest and you desperately want him to be okay.

He sighs and tightens his arms around your waist, pushing himself further against you.

“I -um- missed you.” You hear him mutter into your shoulder.

You can't help, but smile, warmth blooming in your heart and making your heart flutter with his confession.

“I missed you too. No one annoys me as much as you do.” 

Ben”s chuckle is soft, but you love how it shakes your body due to your close proximity.

“What did you do to get out of this one?” You ask.

“Fight.”

“About what?”

“Nothing important.” He rumbles.

He doesn’t embellish and you don’t ask him to.

“How’s yours?”

“Boring.”

“Hmm.” He sighs leaning further into you.

You feel yourself begin to drift, the comfort of Ben’s warmth lulling you into a soothing slumber as you fingers stroke through his hair.

And when you wake up, Ben is gone.

*******************************************************

A/N: This was just a little outtake from the story, thought y'all would like it. I can't remember why I never posted it. Maybe because it seemed a little too soon for them to be this fluffy with one another?

Thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to my taglist for this story let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303 @deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs @bughill126 @simplyfixated @sleepjam @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts @onlyangel-444 @lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan @marvel-mistress @my-obsession-spn @lifeonawhim @soldirboy @liuope @brynanna @carpenterswife @xxannyxx @babyinatrench-coat1 @the-gentle-spirit @valryomen @cassieriddle713 @shaggzthatsnottheworm @lil-soup @ej13928 @topstory21 @boywivlove @mrsjenniferwinchester @vivre-dans-la-nuit @megara0224 @daisy-the-quake @thesilmarillionblog @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @libby99hb @peachhiz @tinydancer40

[pearlprincess02]

LENGTH: 37 HR 52 MIN. songs below ↓

sagittarius rising / 1st house:

capricorn mars in 1st house

"green light" - lorde / "bury a friend" - billie eilish / "video games" - lana del rey / "habits (stay high)" - tove lo / "demons" - imagine dragons / "do i wanna know?" - arctic monkeys / "primadonna" - marina / "team" - lorde / "graveyard" - halsey / "somebody else" - the 1975 / "stressed out" - twenty one pilots / "the less i know the better" - tame impala / "gasoline" - halsey / "doin' time" - lana del rey / "viva la vida" - coldplay / "sweater weather" - the neighbourhood / "shake it out" - florence + the machine / "harmony hall" - vampire weekend / "pumped up kicks" - foster the people / "joy" - bastille /

capricorn chiron in 1st house

"young and beautiful" - lana del rey / "flaws" - bastille / "dirty paws" - of monsters and men / "human" - the killers / "liability" - lorde / "recover" - chvrches / "afraid" - the neighbourhood / "everything i wanted" - billie eilish / "eventually" - tame impala / "miracle" - chvrches / "born to die" - lana del rey / "this life" - vampire weekend / "fix you" - coldplay / "to be human" - marina / "idontwannabeyouanymore" - billie eilish / "writer in the dark" - lorde / "colors" - halsey / "movement" - hozier / "glad he's gone" - tove lo / "sit next to me" - foster the people /

sagittarius rising / 1st house

"the sound" - the 1975 / "on top of the world" - imagine dragons / "new americana" - halsey / "exile" - taylor swift (feat. bon iver) / "bad guy" - billie eilish / "you're somebody else" - flora cash / "adventure of a lifetime" - coldplay / "heather" - conan gray / "love me" - the 1975 / "cardigan" - taylor swift / "ocean eyes" - billie eilish / "little talks" - of monsters and men / "good grief" - bastille / "leave a trace" - chvrches / "summertime sadness" - lana del rey / "take me to church" - hozier /  "maniac" - conan gray / "if you're gonna lie" - fletcher / "ship to wreck" - florence + the machine / "mount everest" - labrinth /

aquarius 2nd house:

pisces uranus in 2nd house

"kids" - mgmt / "ho hey" - the lumineers / "midnight city" - m83 / "1901" - birdy / "take a walk" - passion pit / "electricity" - silk city, dua lipa / "digital love" - daft punk / "electric feel" - mgmt / "lisztomania" - phoenix / "tongue tied" - grouplove / "somebody that i used to know" - gotye (feat. kimbra) / "cherry" - lana del rey / "counting stars" - onerepublic / "1901" - phoenix / "i wanna get better" - bleachers / "love me again" - john newman / "dancing on my own" - robyn / "rather be" - clean bandit (feat. jess glynne) / "we found love" - rihanna (feat. calvin harris) / "can't feel my face" - the weeknd / 

aquarius neptune in 2nd house

"wish i knew you" - the revivalists / "young folks" - peter bjorn and john / "saturn" - sleeping at last / "such great heights" - the postal service / "islands" - the xx / "wide eyes" - local natives / "rebellion (lies)" - arcade fire / "silent treatment" - the joy formidable / "heartbeats" - the knife / "disparate youth" - santigold / "time to pretend" - mgmt / "elephant gun" - beirut / "dreaming" - smallpools / "all my friends" - lcd soundsystem / "shelter song" - temples / "sleepyhead" - passion pit / "oblivion" - grimes / "wetsuit" - the vaccines / "take me out" - franz ferdinand / "don't save me" - haim /

aquarius 2nd house

"knife under my pillow" - maggie lindemann / "idfc" - blackbear / "play date" - melanie martinez / "queen of broken hearts" - blackbear / "if we have each other" - alec benjamin / "josslyn" - olivia o'brien / "pretty girl" - maggie lindemann / "i miss you, i'm sorry" - gracie abrams / "dollhouse" - melanie martinez / "must have been the wind" - alec benjamin / "friends go" - maggie lindemann / "hot girl bummer" - blackbear / "cake" - melanie martinez / "let's fall in love for the night" - finneas / "no love" - olivia o'brien / "oh my god" - alec benjamin / "dog days are over" - florence + the machine / "me & ur ghost" - blackbear / "water fountain" - alec benjamin / "just a boy" - olivia o'brien / 

pisces 3rd house:

pisces venus in 3rd house

"ribs" - lorde / "in the aeroplane over the sea" - neutral milk hotel / "everywhere" - fleetwood mac / "toothpaste kisses" - the maccabees / "into my arms" - nick cave & the bad seeds / "budapest" - george ezra / "chasing cars" - snow patrol / "kiss me" - sixpence none the richer / "breathe" - télépopmusik / "unintended" - muse / "cosmic love" - florence + the machine / "atlas hands" - benjamin francis leftwich / "fade into you" - mazzy star / "first day of my life" - bright eyes / "dead sea" - the lumineers / "wicked game" - chris isaak / "lover, you should've come over" - jeff buckley / "skinny love" - bon iver / "hurt somebody" - noah kahan, julia michaels / "swim good" - frank ocean /

pisces 3rd house

"cherry wine" - hozier / "mykonos" - fleet foxes / "northern wind" - city and colour / "beneath your beautiful" - labrinth (feat. emeli sandé) / "let me down slowly" - alec benjamin / "dreams" - fleetwood mac / "how to disappear completely" - radiohead / "holocene" - bon iver / "when the party's over" - billie eilish / "marjorie" - taylor swift / "to build a home" - the cinematic orchestra / "where is my mind?" - pixies / "if u love me" - nessa barrett / "sleeping lessons" - the shins / "holding on" - disclosure (feat. gregory porter) / "breathe me" - sia / "all the stars" - kendrick lamar, sza / "lose yourself to dance" - daft punk (feat. pharrell williams) / "africa" - toto / "take on me" - a-ha / 

aries 4th house:

aries sun in 4th house

"naive" - the kooks / "you only live once" - the strokes / "she's so high" - tal bachman / "my number" - foals / "what you know" - two door cinema club / "shut up and dance" - walk the moon / "animal" - neon trees / "float on" - modest mouse / "riptide" - vance joy / "mr. brightside" - the killers / "feel It still" - portugal. the man / "don't stop me now" - queen / "ready to start" - arcade fire / "the middle" - jimmy eat world / "pompeii" - bastille / "youngblood" - 5 seconds of summer / "castle on the hill" - ed sheeran / "somebody told me" - the killers / "born this way" - lady gaga / "centuries" - fall out boy / 

taurus mercury in 4th house

"yellow" - coldplay / "say something" - a great big world, christina aguilera / "stubborn love" - the lumineers / "landslide" - fleetwood mac / "retrograde" - james blake / "someone like you" - adele / "all i want" - kodaline / "latch" - disclosure (feat. sam smith) / "re: stacks" - bon iver / "latchkey kids" - silversun pickups / "big jet plane" - angus & julia stone / "lost on you" - lp / "wild horses" - the rolling stones / "linger" - the cranberries / "river" - leon bridges / "stolen dance" - milky chance / "stay with me" - sam smith / "lost cause" - beck / "the scientist" - coldplay / "i won't give up" - jason mraz /

taurus lilith in 4th house

"reptilia" - the strokes / "animal" - miike snow / "stylo" - gorillaz (feat. mos def & bobby womack) / "shut up and let me go" - the ting tings / "hunger strike" - temple of the dog / "creep" - radiohead / "cough syrup" - young the giant / "bulls on parade" - rage against the machine / "fader" - the temper trap / "song 2" - blur / "uprising" - muse / "r u mine?" - arctic monkeys / "ways to go" - grouplove / "gold lion" - yeah yeah yeahs / "seven nation army" - the white stripes / "it's time" - imagine dragons / "no one knows" - queens of the stone age / "little talks" - of monsters and men / "fell in love with a girl" - the white stripes / "tyrants" - catfish and the bottlemen /

aries 4th house

"believer" - imagine dragons / "the one " - fletcher / "checkmate" - conan gray / "all for us" - labrinth (feat. zendaya) / "stupid" - tate mcrae / "nightmare" - halsey / "blank space" - taylor swift / "pain" - nessa barrett / "forever" - fletcher / "electric blue" - arcade fire / "mind is a prison" - alec benjamin / "the archer" - taylor swift / "experiment on me" - halsey / "blue jeans" - lana del rey / "titanium" - david guetta (feat. sia) / "happier" - marshmello (feat. bastille) / "the man" - taylor swift / "good life" - onerepublic / "i bet my life" - imagine dragons / "rolling in the deep" - adele /

taurus 5th house:

taurus north node in 5th house

"tighten up" - the black keys / "tongue" - r.e.m. / "lost in my mind" - the head and the heart / "goodbye yellow brick road" - elton john / "something good can work" - two door cinema club / "lover" - taylor swift / "forever" - labrinth / "finally // beautiful stranger" - halsey / "wish you were sober" - conan gray / "love it if we made it" - the 1975 / "cornelia street" - taylor swift / "youth" - daughter / "uptown girl" - billy joel / "this is what you came for" - calvin harris (feat. rihanna) / "don't start now" - dua lipa /  "daylight" - taylor swift / "happy" - pharrell williams / "i gotta feeling" - the black eyed peas / "treasure" - bruno mars / "shake it off" - taylor swift /

gemini part of fortune in 5th house

"style" - taylor swift / "still don't know my name" - labrinth / "dancing with myself" - billy idol / "boom clap" - charli xcx / "a-punk" - vampire weekend / "ain't it fun"  - paramore / "me!" - taylor swift (feat. brendon urie) / "high hopes" - panic! at the disco / "unbelievers"  - vampire weekend / "tennis court" - lorde / "reflections" - misterwives / "still into you" - paramore / "blinding lights" - the weeknd / "out of my league" - fitz and the tantrums / "i wanna dance with somebody (who loves me)" - whitney houston / "helena beat" - foster the people /  "good as hell" - lizzo / "rollercoaster"- bleacher / "victorious" - panic! at the disco / "it's not living (if it's not with you)"  - the 1975 / 

taurus 5th house

"cruel summer" - taylor swift / "love song" - lana del rey / "taro" - alt-j / "i don't want your money" - ed sheeran & h.e.r. / "sugar" - maroon 5 / "uptown funk" - mark ronson (feat. bruno mars) / "wildest dreams" - taylor swift / "golden hour" - kacey musgraves / "isn't she lovely" - stevie wonder / "thinking out loud" - ed sheeran / "cake by the ocean" - dnce / "all of me" - john legend / "don't know why"- norah jones / "september" - earth, wind & fire / "teenage dream" - katy perry / "this will be (an everlasting love)" - natalie cole / "if i ain't got you" - alicia keys / "i'm yours" - jason mraz / "just the way you are" - bruno mars / "put your records on"- corinne bailey rae / 

gemini 6th house:

"fluorescent adolescent" - arctic monkeys / "backseat freestyle" - kendrick lamar / "feel good inc." - gorillaz /  "the edge of glory" - lady gaga / "good 4 u" - olivia rodrigo / "cool kids" - echosmith / "skin" - sabrina carpenter / "mine" - taylor swift / "back to you" - selena gomez /  "the wire" - haim / "issues" - julia michaels /  "death bed (coffee for your head)" - powfu (feat. beabadoobee) / "leave before you love me" - marshmello, jonas brothers / "drivers license" - olivia rodrigo / "youth" - troye sivan / "dance yrself clean" - lcd soundsystem / "cut to the feeling"- carly rae jepsen / "houdini" - foster the people / "just dance"- lady gaga / "how to be a heartbreaker"  - marina and the diamonds / 

gemini 7th house:

gemini saturn in 7th house

"maps" - maroon 5 / "hurt" - johnny cash / "the night we met" - lord huron / "the chain" - fleetwood mac / "gravity" - sara bareilles / "stay" - rihanna (feat. mikky ekko) / "nothing compares 2 u" - sinead o'connor / "maps" - yeah yeah yeahs / "mad world" - gary jules / "hallelujah" - jeff buckley / "holocene" - bon iver / "all too well (10 minute version)" - taylor swift / "say you won't let go" - james arthur / "chandelier" - sia / "a thousand years" - christina perri / "gravity" - john mayer / "bad at love" - halsey / "earned it" - the weeknd / "when i was your man" - bruno mars / "let it go" - james bay / 

gemini 7th house

"one kiss" - calvin harris & dua lipa / "northern downpour" - panic! at the disco / "two weeks" - grizzly bear / "into you" - ariana grande / "shape of you" - ed sheeran / "bubblegum bitch" - marina / "hello"- adele / "i'm not the only one" - sam smith / "stitches"- shawn mendes / "mirrors" - justin timberlake /��"ordinary people"- john legend / "something just like this"- the chainsmokers (feat. coldplay) / "we don't talk anymore" - charlie puth (feat. selena gomez) / "new rules" - dua lipa / "slow dancing in a burning room" - john mayer / "love song" - sara bareilles / "jar of hearts" - christina perri / "she will be loved" - maroon 5 / "can't stop the feeling!"- justin timberlake / "physical" - dua lipa /

leo 8th house:

leo jupiter in 8th house

"high enough to carry you over" - chvrches / "my silver lining" - first aid kit / "i bet you look good on the dancefloor" - arctic monkeys / "royals" - lorde / "human" - rag'n'bone man / "gooey" - glass animals / "radioactive" - imagine dragons / "heathens" - twenty one pilots / "dark necessities" - red hot chili peppers / "glory and gore" - lorde / "sex on fire" - kings of leon / "shake me down" - cage the elephant / "electric love" - borns / "breezeblocks" - alt-j / "bohemian rhapsody"  - queen / "reflektor" - arcade fire / "formation" - beyoncé / "starboy" - the weeknd / "dna." - kendrick lamar / "skyfall" - adele / 

leo vertex in 8th house

"livin' on a prayer" - bon jovi / "oblivion" - bastille / "runaway" - aurora / "little lion man" - mumford & sons / "where the streets have no name" - U2 / "heroes" - david bowie / "halo"  - beyoncé / "i will always love you" - whitney houston / "stairway to heaven" - led zeppelin / "born to run" - bruce springsteen / "dream on"- aerosmith / "fighter" - christina aguilera / "gimme shelter" - the rolling stones / "we are the champions"  - queen / "purple rain" - prince / "rocket man" - elton john / "knights of cydonia" - muse / "go your own way" - fleetwood mac / "like a prayer" - madonna / "thriller" - michael jackson /

leo 8th house

"express yourself" - madonna / "superstition"  - stevie wonder / "i'm still standing" - elton john / "let's go crazy" - prince / "billie jean" - michael jackson / "you give love a bad name" - bon jovi / "run the world (girls)" - beyoncé / "bad romance"- lady gaga / "roar"- katy perry / "life on mars?"- david bowie / "gorilla" - bruno mars / "beautiful day" - U2 / "thinkin bout you" - frank ocean / "yellow flicker beat"  - lorde / "talking body" - tove lo / "partition" - beyoncé / "love on the brain"  - rihanna / "magic" - coldplay / "animals" - maroon 5 / "god is a woman"  - ariana grande / 

virgo 9th house:

"oxford comma" - vampire weekend / "all we ever knew" - the head and the heart / "hunger" - florence + the machine / "high and dry" - radiohead / "lost in the light" - bahamas / "the suburbs" - arcade fire / "come away with me" - norah jones / "helplessness blues" - fleet foxes / "i will wait" - mumford & sons / "no such thing" - john mayer / "home" - phillip phillips / "better together"- jack johnson / "paradise"- coldplay / "hey, soul sister" - train / "rivers and roads"  - the head and the heart / "three little birds" - bob marley & the wailers / "brave" - sara bareilles / "bubbly" - colbie caillat / "begin again" - taylor swift / "waiting on the world to change" - john mayer /

libra 10th house:

scorpio moon in 10th house

"gun" - chvrches / "my body" - young the giant / "some nights" - fun. / "deadcrush" - alt-j / "the weekend" - sza / "swimming pools (drank)" - kendrick lamar / "glory box" - portishead / "him & i" - g-eazy & halsey / "waiting game" - banks / "hurt" - nine inch nails / "what kind of man"  - florence + the machine / "elastic heart"  - sia / "ride" - lana del rey / "drowning"- banks / "the hills"- the weeknd / "cellophane" - fka twigs / "all mine" - portishead / "national anthem" - lana del rey / "haunted"  - beyoncé / "diamonds" - rihanna /

libra 10th house

"watermelon sugar" - harry styles / "love on top" - beyoncé / "roads" - portishead / "love story" - taylor swift / "thank u, next" - ariana grande / "thunder" - imagine dragons / "clocks" - coldplay / "too good at goodbyes"- sam smith /"locked out of heaven" - bruno mars / "irreplaceable" - beyoncé / "set fire to the rain" - adele / "sign of the times" - harry styles / "dangerous woman" - ariana grande / "alive"- sia / "paparazzi"  - lady gaga / "delilah"- florence + the machine / "without me" - halsey / "empire state of mind (part II) broken down"- alicia keys / "kill em with kindness" - selena gomez / "sorry not sorry" - demi lovato / 

scorpio 11th house:

"bad blood" - taylor swift (feat. kendrick lamar) / "closer" - the chainsmokers (feat. halsey) /  "dark paradise" - lana del rey / "live in the moment" - portugal. the man / "gemini feed" - banks / "505" - arctic monkeys / "ride"- twenty one pilots / "misery business" - paramore / "7 rings" - ariana grande / "firework" - katy perry / "you should see me in a crown" - billie eilish / "often"- the weeknd / "hands to myself" - selena gomez / "redbone" - childish gambino / "humble." - kendrick lamar / "don't let me down" - the chainsmokers (feat. daya) / "22"- taylor swift / "party in the u.s.a." - miley cyrus / "we are young" - fun. (feat. janelle monáe) / "count on me"  - bruno mars /

sagittarius 12th house:

sagittarius pluto in 12th house

"no one's gonna love you" - band of horses / "sleep forever" - portugal. the man / "obstacles" - syd matters / "bloodstream" - stateless / "take care" - beach house / "oceans" - seafret / "the funeral" - band of horses / "pink + white" - frank ocean / "comfortably numb" - pink floyd / "white winter hymnal"  - fleet foxes / "space song" - beach house / "limit to your love" - james blake / "open" - rhye / "two weeks"- fka twigs / "gold" - chet faker / "jóga"- björk / "myth" - beach house / "everything in its right place"- radiohead / "hoppípolla" - sigur rós / "mystery of love" - sufjan stevens / 

sagittarius 12th house

"a dustland fairytale" - the killers / "visions of gideon" - sufjan stevens / "cannons" - youth lagoon / "bloodbuzz ohio" - the national / "kettering" - the antlers / "buzzcut season" - lorde / "song for zula" - phosphorescent / "flightless bird, american mouth" - iron & wine / "secrets" - the weeknd / "sæglópur"  - sigur rós / "obsessions"  - marina / "feels like we only go backwards" - tame impala / "intro"- the xx / "all i need" - radiohead / "i need my girl"  - the national / "the wilhelm scream"  - james blake / "new slang"  - the shins / "wicked games" - the weeknd / "under the pressure" - the war on drugs / "feel it all around" - washed out / 

(anon ask)

@pearlprincess02

[spiralhouseshop]

New!

Issue 7 of Weird Walk is now in stock!

Immerse yourself in the captivating world of Weird Walk Issue Seven, a 48-page A5 zine printed on high-quality, PEFC-certified recycled stock. As the sun dips low and nights lengthen, this issue serves as a potent reminder of the ever-turning cycle of nature, where decay paves the way for vibrant new life.

Delve into the ancient wisdom of trees with author Nadia Attia as she unravels the fascinating folklore surrounding iconic British species. Let your imagination wander through the verdant embrace of the forest as we delve into the history of the Hastings Jack in the Green festival and embark on a sonic exploration of rural landscapes with the Verdant Wisdom collective, whose music echoes the haunting beauty of dungeon synth.

Join intrepid explorers Alice Lowe and Benjamin Myers on separate quests through captivating locations, each brimming with magic and personal reflection. Discover the profound emotional connection between humans and the natural world, and explore the fascinating realm of phenomenology, which delves into our unique ways of experiencing ancient sites – cheese included, of course.

Weird Walk Issue Seven is further enriched by the captivating photography of Sarah White, Rachel Adams, and Freddie Miller, whose images bring the zine's themes to life.

Whether you're a nature enthusiast, a folklore aficionado, or simply seek a captivating journey through the written word and stunning visuals, Weird Walk Issue Seven offers a unique and enriching experience.

Get Weird Walk #7 at the Spiral House shop here!

We also restocked back issues!

[irondadfics]

Yoo do u have fics that has the plot where peter gets send out in another universe because everyone is dead in his and in the universe he gets send out is everyone is alive but peter doesn't exist or they don't know peter at all I've seen one fic like this ( it's was Mysterio that killed everyone) and it made me want to read more🥹

hello, are these close to what you are looking for? They’re unfinished but still worth checking out ☺️

Home for Christmas by richieisgayforeddie

Peter Parker doesn't exist any more, well, no one remembers that he exists. After spending his first Christmas utterly alone and without any of his friends or May, Doctor Strange ask Peter for help to fight Wanda. Peter has nothing to lose, but getting accidentally thrown to a different Universe wasn’t on his holiday list The universe seems like his own at first but he soon comes to realise that the Universe just lost his Peter Parker in the final Battle, snapping in Tony's Place. Tony, that seems to be his biological Parent here. Will Peter find his Place in this Universe, or will the Parker Luck continue once again?

Broken Mirrors and Fragile Things by EvieNyx

(I am Peter Benjamin Parker, and I exist.) - - - Three months after his existence was erased, Peter Parker was not doing so well. His solace came from knowing that at the very least he had managed to save his city in the end. Apparently, though, Peter realized as Doctor Strange explained to him that he had to give up even more, losing everything-and-then-some just wasn't enough. OR The multiverse continues to collapse in on itself. Doctor Strange discovers the source of the problem as Peter Parker. The only viable solution is to remove Peter from his original universe so that no more entities will be drawn to his presence there.  Peter is sent to a world that lost its Peter Parker, and finds himself lost in a sea of people he'd grieved who had all grieved him in kind.

Welcome To Mysterio's Marvelous Multiverse by Grace_d

[Endgame compliant, Far from home AU (probably)] NO FFH SPOILERS  “Woah.” Spider-Man breathes. “Trip Advisor did not mention this.” In the middle of the room hangs a flat circle of energy, kinetic electricity twisting from the edges into the centre. Green smoke swirls around it. It's definitely creepy enough to be a portal to another universe. Peter Parker's trip to Europe was supposed to cap off his recovery from the traumatic events of the past (5?) years, kick off his summer vacation and celebrate his decision to return to friendly neighbourhood crime-fighting.  Instead, Nick Fury recruited him for some avenging. Not ideal, not relaxing, and definitely above this web-slingers pay grade. (Was he even getting paid?). So when Quentin Beck AKA Mysterio suggests an alternate universe field trip, it's a hard pass from Spider-Man. He's sticking to the mission. He's got responsibilities at home. Even if it means giving up the chance to see Tony Stark again. Too bad he didn't have a choice in the matter.

They’ll think of me kindly, when they come for my things by Ihearturdadtbh

“A year, nearly a year since he died and you’re trying to tell me he what? Didn’t? Who is doing this to me, who is trying to trick me, who? Who! I know fine well I was the reason for that kids death and so who is tormenting me with his fucking corpse!?” Peter opened his eyes blearily as the imagine of a man settled into view, one he recognised in an instant except for one thing. There was something terribly, terribly “off” about the man made to look like Tony Stark. (Peter accidentally travels to a universe where he died in his battle with the Vulture on the beach, leaving Tony guilt ridden)

[shiroisotto64]

Carmine Headcanons

Benjamin

He’s always been described as green. Aka he follows the rules..mostly. Everyone has their moments am I right? Ben is respectful towards everyone and has a very eager air about him.

You wanna teach him neat military trick? He’s in. This leads to Ben and Baird spending a lot of time together. Imagine how much fun they’d have setting shit on fire? Exactly. And Baird finally has someone who actually tries to listen/understand his science talk.

He’d been real fun to be around. If your friends or together? He’s down to do things you like. Even if he hadn’t found it all to interesting before hand he’ll at least try to get into it for you. You like collecting antiques? He’ll save up to get you something whenever he can.

Gets real giddy when genuinely complimented. You noticed his tracking is getting better and say something about it? He’s touched! You think he’s getting real good at unjamming his lancer? Why thank you! He’s eats it all up and uses it as fuel to keep going.

With a s/o

Very respectful of boundaries. He won’t do anything without your explicit consent before hand. Including hand holding. He gets real shy when it comes to affection. He doesn’t mind it…but growing up with locust running around to kill you doesn’t leave a lot of time to get used to touch.

Ben would be super excited to genuinely spend time with you as well. Wanna walk around the yard? Sure, let’s go. Wanna eat lunch together? He’s damn there skipping to the hall. It’s so cute but the others definitely tease him for this. Marcus is just shaking his head in the corner but look closer he’s almost smiling!

Anthony

He needs to be put on a leash. He’s such a nerd. He’ll rant for hours about all the cool shit Marcus has done if anyone would let him. It’s funny how much he knows really.

Eager to train and get on the field. You can find him in the gym or shooting range. He likes the rush 1 and 2 he wants to stay sharp and be useful when called out. Rambles on the coms to. Marcus is normally the one to scold him to “shut the hell up!”

I feel like for some reason…he’d know a LOT of gossip around base..idk I can just feel it. Before you even tell him he already knows how the mission went. Luckily he’s open to talk about his missions too especially if he did something cool!

With a s/o

Likes no LOVES to show off. But he loses his cocky attitude when his gun fucks around and jams and oops he dropped it….ANYWAYS everyone has their days.

But lord help you cause it has to be nerve wracking being with him, he’s so eager and reckless at that. At least Ben follows orders Anthony just kinda forgets or gets wrapped up in the moment. He means no harm but still.

Clayton

He’s quieter than his brothers. Clayton just kinda chills there till he feels he needs to say anything. He’s more introverted prefers to keep to himself. He does have a sense of humor though. Albeit it’s a bit dry it’s there.

Clay cared a lot about his family especially his brothers. His affection is generally more quiet and shown through actions. A pat on the back here and a good job there. That’s his style even after the war he’s still kinda stiff.

He likes keeping his weapons in top shape. He’s found cleaning his guns and tags around the end of the week or right after a messy mission.

He’s not really picky about food or anything none of them are but I bet Clayton is the heaviest eater out of the carmines. Make him a hearty bowl and he’ll eat every last drop!

With a s/o

Wanna know if he likes you? Easy ask that man for a piece of his bacon. Regardless if he fussed about it or not if you get the piece at all you’re good.

If you’re the touchy type he’ll try to accommodate you. Like I said it’s not like they don’t like touch they just aren’t used to it.

He’s the touchiest when he’s tired. All of a sudden you’re being dragged to bed to cuddle. He’s a real heavy sleeper to! So good luck. Those big strong arms mean business once he’s got you there’s not escape.

@pink-apollo mentioned something about Clayton and dogs and I agree. I could totally see him with at least one large guard dog. But what’s better? A big dog and small puppy. LMFAO imagine the grub killer sprawled out on the couch with a yorkie or something. Adorable.

He’s not the jealous type but he is protective. Anyone giving you a hard time he’ll get it through their skulls don’t worry.

He does need a quiet moment to himself though, so if your the real clingy type he’ll get agitated if your constantly trying to hang off him, however he won’t yell he’ll just remove himself for you until he’s ready to be touched again.

[emo-eyemakeup-evildude]

Some songs got removed from my Long Road To Ruin playlist and I finally fixed it because I am actually gearing up to post the end of the fic.

Song list under the cut just in case of future problems, and since the playlist is supposed to follow the major plot points I'll go ahead and say chapter 30 will start about 7 songs from the end. Again, enjoy the sparknotes version of the story

Long Road To Ruin -- Foo Fighters

Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect -- The Decemberists

On My Own -- Hedley

Read My Mind -- The Killers

Every Morning -- Sugar Ray

Girl Next Door -- Saving Jane

Pocket Full Of Stars -- Nine Black Alps

This Modern Love -- Bloc Party

Fill In The Blank -- Car Seat Headrest

All I Wanted -- Paramore

Creep -- Radiohead

Glycerine -- Bush

Tonight, Tonight -- Smashing Pumpkins

Fade Into You -- Mazzy Star

Go Your Own Way -- Fleetwood Mac

This Charming Man (cover) -- Death Cab for Cutie

Stable Song -- Death Cab for Cutie

Colours -- GROUPLOVE

Your Heart Is an Empty Room -- Death Cab for Cutie

Wake Up -- Arcade Fire

Give Me Novacaine -- Green Day

Whatsername -- Green Day

Surfer Girl -- The Beach Boys

Everlong (Acoustic Version) -- Foo Fighters

God Only Knows -- The Beach Boys

What Sarah Said -- Death Cab for Cutie

I Will Follow You into the Dark -- Death Cab for Cutie

These Days -- Foo Fighters

Kids -- MGMT

Birds -- Imagine Dragons

Kelsey -- Metro Station

Where Would We Go -- Rusty Anderson

I Know The End -- Phoebe Bridgers

My Own Worst Enemy -- Lit

Cruel and Beautiful World -- GROUPLOVE

Second Chance -- Shinedown

Who Is She? (Reprise) -- Centaurworld

Thrash Unreal -- Against Me!

Bones Shatter (Never Say Never) -- Hedley

everything i wanted -- Billie Eilish

I Will Not Bow -- Breaking Benjamin

Guns for Hire -- Woodkid

Black Sheep -- Metric

Drive -- Incubus

Like a Stone -- Audioslave

The Pretender -- Foo Fighters

Hello -- Evanescence

You're Gonna Go Far, Kid -- The Offspring

Dear Agony -- Breaking Benjamin

The Kill -- Thirty Seconds To Mars

Minstrel Boy -- Joe Strummer

A Dustland Fairytale -- The Killers

Hide And Seek -- Imogen Heap

Best Of You -- Foo Fighters

Bang Bang -- Green Day

Be Still -- The Killers

The End Of The End -- Paul McCartney

Give Me Love/The Parting Glass -- Ed Sheeran

Miles Away (acoustic) -- Years Around the Sun

[acti-veg]

Talking Turkeys

Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas

Cos’ turkeys just wanna hav fun

Turkeys are cool, turkeys are wicked

An every turkey has a Mum.

Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas,

Don’t eat it, keep it alive,

It could be yu mate, an not on your plate

Say, Yo! Turkey I’m on your side.

I got lots of friends who are turkeys

An all of dem fear christmas time,

Dey wanna enjoy it, dey say humans destroyed it

An humans are out of dere mind,

Yeah, I got lots of friends who are turkeys

Dey all hav a right to a life,

Not to be caged up an genetically made up

By any farmer an his wife.

Turkeys just wanna play reggae

Turkeys just wanna hip-hop

Can yu imagine a nice young turkey saying,

“I cannot wait for de chop”,

Turkeys like getting presents, dey wanna watch christmas TV,

Turkeys hav brains an turkeys feel pain

In many ways like yu an me.

I once knew a turkey called … Turkey

He said “Benji explain to me please,

Who put de turkey in christmas

An what happens to christmas trees?”,

I said “I am not too sure turkey

But it’s nothing to do wid Christ Mass

Humans get greedy an waste more dan need be

An business men mek loadsa cash”.

Be nice to yu turkey dis christmas

Invite dem indoors fe sum greens

Let dem eat cake an let dem partake

In a plate of organic grown beans,

Be nice to yu turkey dis christmas

An spare dem de cut of de knife,

Join Turkeys United an dey’ll be delighted

An yu will mek new friends “FOR LIFE”.

-Benjamin Zephaniah, 1958-2023

[ladamedusoif]

Books (Professor!Ben x OFC Lydia)

A Merry Fic-Mas - December 14

Part of A Merry Fic-Mas: A Holiday Fic Calendar - click for masterlist.

Follow @ladameecrit for my writing updates!

Pairing: Professor!Ben x OFC!Lydia (part of the Visiting universe)

Word count: 848

Warnings: Language, angst, pining

Rating: Teen

Summary: What’s the harm of imagining an alternative future, when you’re lonely this Christmas?

This Fic-Mas story can be read as an add-on/deleted scene to Chapter 8 of Visiting, 'Sister Winter'.

Iceland has this thing called Jolabokaflod - literally, “book flood”. It can mean the rush of new books published for Christmas gifts, or it can mean the tradition associated with them. 

Put simply, the idea is that on Christmas Eve, you exchange books with your nearest and dearest. And then everyone snuggles up in bed, armed with hot chocolate and candy, and reads their new book. 

It sounds like heaven. 

The book flood tradition pops into your mind as you place a neatly-wrapped selection of books under the tree at your parents’ house on Christmas Eve. And with it, a pang, and another thought. 

Ben would love that. 

“Fuck,” you mutter to yourself, trying to fend off the thoughts of him. “I think it’s time for bed.”

You creep up the stairs, last one to turn in for the night, and nestle in with your hot water bottle. 

You wish he was keeping you warm, girl. 

“Fuck.”

Sleep doesn’t come easy. And you begin to imagine, to let yourself daydream (if one can call it that) about an alternative reality, an alternative future, if only for the night. 

It is Christmas, after all. It’s canonically a time for what might have beens, for counter-factuals. What was A Christmas Carol, if not that? And - even more obviously - what of It’s A Wonderful Life?

Alright, you think, maybe it’s not quite the same. Clarence the Angel had to show George Bailey how much better he made the world, and how wonderful his life actually was. And Dickens showed Scrooge terrible things, to help him change - a far cry from the cosy scene you were about to conjure up. 

Still, the point stands. What if things were different? What if things could be different? 

You close your eyes and let your mind wander, telling yourself it’s just idle fantasy. It’s not hurting anyone. Right?

So indulge. Find comfort in thinking about how it might be, could have been. Imagine the comfort of books, of warmth, of him.

You had thought for a long time about the book for Ben. Eventually, you settled on a personal favourite, one that reflected your personality, your interests, yourself: The Belly of Paris, by Émile Zola. You knew he hadn’t read it - “just Thérèse Raquin and Germinal”, he’d told you as you raved about Zola’s books - and you wanted to see what he thought. 

The edition is a recent translation, a handsome paperback, and you wrap it up in brown paper and add a length of dark red ribbon, placing it under the tree to await Christmas Eve. 

The next day, it’s joined by a matching book-shaped gift: this time wrapped in dark green paper, your name written in his distinctive handwriting on an old-fashioned gift tag. 

Christmas Eve is idyllic: mulled wine, old movies, talking and preparing food for the next day’s meal as the snow falls softly outside. By about 8 that evening, you’re settled cosily on the couch and your eyes land on the little packages. 

“Time for book flood, I think.”

Ben smiles as you reach under the tree and retrieve the gifts. “You want to open them here?”

“I’d rather do it in bed, baby. C’mon, grab some hot chocolate.” 

He follows you upstairs to bed, making you giggle as he purrs in your ear: “Gonna make you read soooooo much, Lyd. We’re gonna read so hard.”

You wiggle your eyebrows at him as you join in the suggestive jokes, pulling him close to you. “Well, you know I can keep reading for hours, Benjamin.”

You can. And you do. 

Ben’s book gift to you is a gorgeous vintage copy of Love in the Time of Cholera, which you clutch to your chest in delight. He opens his parcel carefully, a wide smile spreading across his face as he recognises the title. 

“Émile. Of course.”

And now it’s just the two of you, side by side in bed, the only sounds the occasional crackle from the tall candles you’d lit in the bedroom, one or both of you sipping your hot cocoa, and the turning of the pages. 

Without lifting his eyes from Zola, Ben’s left hand finds your right, and holds it: safe, secure. Your thumb traces over his tattoo, making him hum quietly with pleasure. 

“Imagine if we hadn’t figured things out”, you muse, eyes still fixed on Garcia Marquez. 

Ben turns and looks at you, eyes warm and expression most serious. “Not figuring things out was never an option.”

When you wake in the grey light of Christmas morning, it takes a moment for you to remember.

The pain hits you all over again. The fantasy - simplistic and all as it might have been - had been too convincing, and facing reality feels even harder. 

You can hear your family already waking and pottering about the house, little nieces stampeding out of the spare room they’re sharing with your sister and brother-in-law for the holidays. 

Craving the warmth of a familiar hand on yours, you turn over and cry into the pillow. 

[afyerarchive]

I See Him Across the Valley: ABOUT

Hey all, as I mentioned in some previous posts I'm writing a play. Quick information about it.

The play is set in modern day San Francisco, but features fictional characters (Jasper Suez, Benjamin Kodak, and more to come) and the setting is more of an afterthought; the CONTEXT of the play is not, though, and the play carries themes that I, at least, feel are reflective of the world we live in.

As for vibes, imagine Great Gatsby meets A Christmas Carol in the 2020s. Best way I can describe it.

Full preview below:

In the wake of the midsummer in California, Serofone technology is being integrated into the modern world that multimillionaire Jasper Suez had come to forget. Down the slick glass panels of his apartment complex, and on the busy streets below, the every-man walks his day in a silent hustle. The blue waters of the San Francisco Bay not far from his heart are a place of unspoken desire; by trees on the seashore, it reflects an ominous green hue instead. To what extent will our brothers and sisters comply any longer in a world so fueled by those with the wealth? And why can't they see us while perched above the city?

The play will be three acts long (I have prepared everything that happens in it, just need to write it) but each act has two parts, so there's six parts total.

Bullet QNA:

Q: How long is it going to be?

A: Most likely more than 100 pages, but less than 150.

Q: How long will it take to finish?

A: As of right now, I'm not sure. There's still a chance I will abandon it if I lose motivation or get too busy. I hate to push the due date so far out, but hopefully it'll be finished by August 2025. It may come a lot sooner or a lot later. I will update accordingly.

Q: How do I read it?

A: I'm going to post each part on its own, make a masterlist, and try to include PDF versions for each part which look better than Tumblr format. Ask me if you need the Google Doc.

Q: Is it proofread?

A: Sort of, but definitely expect mistakes, and formatting mistakes if you read from the PDF and/or Google doc.

Q: Is there a taglist?

A: Not right now, but if that's something you'd be interested, just comment on any of the posts, please! :)

Q: Is anyone going to act this?

A: Probably not unless I force my friends and I to.

With that said, Act 1, Part 1 is finished and I will post it shortly. See ya!

[2demondogs]

Get These Damn Angels Drunk | Dutch/Carmichael

Tags: young VanDerMatthews, seduction but no smut, Dutch has a plan, canon-typical violence, smoking, power dynamics Word Count: 4.2k A/N: The fleeting idea of why Sheriff Carmichael might have been too embarrassed to comment on their escape from Kettering came to my mind. I realize I spell it both Carmichael and Carmicheal. This is because I don't care about him. I am sorry. (Not enough to fix it lel)

The only thing Dutch despises more than being confined is being well-behaved.

In the past, before Hosea's terrible voice of reason came to him, he would have been running his mouth where his feet could no longer run. Good behavior is a concept so foreign that, after a few whisper-arguments across the cell hall with Hosea in their first week locked up in Kettering, Dutch was forced to ask what exactly behaving behind bars... meant.

It didn't mean full honesty, no; to quell Hosea's nerves after a particularly heated discussion with one of their buyers, they'd agreed on a story to tell the police which made their scheme appear far more juvenile. Dutch could pass for twenty on a good day, Hosea for twenty-six or -seven — they have played to their youth before to slink off unscathed. Dutch still upholds that they jinxed themselves, that instead of discussing the thought whatsoever they should have turned on their heels and skittered off with the three-hundred bucks.

His own greed was part of the reason they continued, but his hindsight remains twenty-twenty.

Even if he cannot call the sheriff a lucky invert for locking up two handsome fellers as themselves — a choice slur for mutton-shunters, which he favored in his youth and finds ironically hilarious now — Dutch has used the time Hosea's been in fitful slumbers to think.

His personal wants are taken into account, because otherwise he has nowhere to stem an escape from. That old story about Benjamin Franklin asking a rival to lend him a book; small favors, big turnarounds.

First, a cigar. His fingers itched for one the whole first week, so badly that they began to twitch, too. Dutch finds himself pressing his fingers to his lips in that familiar grip-pattern now and then, holding his breath as if he's got a something to puff on while he stares out the barred window into the alleyway between the sheriff's office and a general store. (Sometimes a feller takes a piss near the boxes stacked in the back, but not much beyond the light changes out there.)

Second, to be with Hosea. It might have been easier, to be apart, if they were not able to see and speak to each other across the two sets of bars that separate them.

As it is, they talk all day and stare all night; Dutch feels the terrible limbo of their separation eating at his dignity each hour. Some days, he yearns to ask Hosea to speak filth to him so he might imagine they are holding one another like animals do — another day goes by, another inch of what recognized softness exists between them turns carnal, it seems.

It was fresh morning outside when he murmured this plan to Hosea. They've become used to the lawmen feeding their horses around nine or ten, heading to the general store to restock each other's smokes and drinks; they treat it like a damned university, really, and that only pisses Dutch off more.

If they want to be beacons of purity, why not act like ridding the world of Sin is their job? He feels like a child put into detention for throwing rocks at another.

Not that he would know from experience with the latter just how redundant every piece of it feels.

Hosea seems amused, but willing. Dutch had not thought of any jealousy or anger he might react with, not until Hosea's brows drew together at the end of his spun-thread and he feared he would be upset — it wasn't until that moment he realized, should Hosea have offered to be the sacrifical succubus, he'd've turned green — but the blond simply asked: "Everyone 'round here knows our looks, and we only got changes on the horses. How do we get out of the building?"

The solution to that is rather simple, they decide.

"Sheriff?"

A sigh, heavy and rough with smoke. The smell of burning tobacco drifting down the hall from the front desk makes his question sound more genuine.

"C'mere," Dutch calls. His rings clink against the cell bars as he wraps his hands around them. "Will ya?"

A Lord is muttered. "The Hell's it now, Landers?"

Dutch sees Hosea's mouth curl into a grin at the pseudonym, has to bite his cheek and clear his throat to stave off a smirk of his own. The blond curls into his bed as Carmichael's bootfalls near them, standing a respectable distance from Dutch's door.

He thinks I'll swing at him. Smart man.

"I asked you somethin' boy," the man says. His eyes are narrow and green, hooded by tired old lids. He must be a few years older than Hosea from how he carries himself, but his face is more unlined than Dutch's own.

Ancient princess of shit.

"I smelled your cigarette," Dutch starts, softening his voice as if he were pleading. "Y'see, I smoke cigars everyday myself. At least, 'fore I wound up here. So, now," — holding out his hand, tensing the muscles in his wrist to make his fingers twitch — "I got the shakes from quittin' 'em, like that." Carmichael nods, as if considering before Dutch even gets to the point: "What I'd like is to roll a cigar. Get this misery outta myself. I had a rolling case in my satchel."

His lips remain pursed beneath the undergrown mustache on his lip, smoke falling out of Carmichael's notrils as he takes the filter between his thumb and forefinger to point his middle finger towards him. "Nice sob story," he says. "What can you do for me, son?"

This wasn't expected.

The two outlaws believed they were on good enough behavior — if a little quiet, when the sheriff was around — to at least earn a smoke.

Inwardly, he berates himself for not considering that regardless of their behavior, they did scam enough money out of this man's town to get themselves a hundred barrels of flour.

Outwardly, Dutch wheels his plan forward and drags his eyes down Carmichael's body. He isn't an ugly man: he might be a princess degrading the title of lawman to businessman, but he clearly grew up working harder than this. A farmer's son, he would guess, or a farmhand in his last years of youth.

Some money or a good harvest came his way, and out of the sun he went. Yet he still worked, still kept himself built right. His shirt fits snugly over his arms and chest, hidden by the vest buttoned firmly down his torso; the trousers at his hips—

The man clears his throat before Dutch's eyes can laser through how the pant legs crease around his knees.

"What can you do for me?" Carmichael repeats, each word its own sentence.

Dutch looks towards his eyes, tries to find something to arouse genuine want along those smooth cheekbones.

"I'on know," he says, quirks the corner of his mouth up. "What'd'ya like from me, hoss?"

Panic flicks through Carmichael's eyes. It's nearly audible how the man reads deeper into things Dutch has said or done over the course of his hold here — things that had no such meanings, yet now sound suspiciously fond of the man in charge, suspiciously compliant. Hosea shifts in the cell across from his, and he hopes the mirth in his eyes reads suitably to the man between them.

Panic bleeds into something affirmative, yet unreadable to Dutch. The rosiness he can see along the sheriff's cheeks fills in the blanks.

"I'll get you your cigar," Carmichael says finally. As he's stalking towards the lockers, he hears him murmur: "Invert." He's tasting the word, not spitting it out, and Dutch will insist he was able to read his sexuality off his face if Hosea ever asks how he thought this plan would work.

He doesn't seem to be asking much from his cell. Hosea stands, comes to the bars to laugh silently, and scurries back to his cot as the sheriff walks towards them again. Again, Dutch feels immature — this prison thing is just one big child's game.

"I cannot give you your lighter," Carmichael says, as if reading a script off the back of his lids every time he blinks. He must give other prisoners their smokes more often; Dutch realizes these men must really dislike the two of them, neither having been offered a smoke break since the night they were thrown to rot. "I also cannot give you your razor blade. What's that for, anyways?"

"In the tin?"

"Aye."

Dutch raises his brows, genuine surprise. "Not a cigar smoker, are you? Don't roll your own smokes at all?"

"I ain't one for, ah," — Carmichael glancing around, tapping his fingers against the tin in his hands — "Working on pleasure. Always bought cigarettes. Pre-made."

Dutch must swallow the delight at it. Oh, he's bit the bait. "I find the work the most pleasurable part," he says, holding his hand out for the tin as if the words spoken are totally innocuous.

Carmichael flinches — flinches, by God, Dutch can hardly contain himself — before handing the tin through the slats. It is a few items lighter, and he sees the light of the noon glint off his lighter in the palm of Carmichael's hand.

"I gotta stand here," he says, once Dutch turns to sit on his cot and sort through the supplies in his tin.

Dutch is hardly paying him mind with the immediate promise of nicotine at his lap. No whiskey to moisten the tobacco with, he must have removed that, too. Deputy probably drank it, he thinks sourly.

"I gotta light it for you, since you ain't allowed to have this." He lifts his head, nods with a small smile.

"I understand. Can't give maniacs matches, can we?"

"You're far from a maniac," Carmichael says. "Bit too smart to be crazy, y'all are. That's why you're dangerous."

"You're complimentin' some criminals, sheriff?" Dutch asks.

"Naw." He can hear the shit-eating grin in his voice, doesn't need to look up from pinching the tobacco into its wrapper. "Much less impressive to have arrested some lucky assholes."

He huffs a laugh.

If only he believed that, he thinks, he might have saved himself from his fate. As it stands, Dutch finishes rolling his cigar and stands, stretches his legs out one after another 'til the stiff knees crack. He can feel eyes on him as he watches the toes of his boots shift.

They hadn't given them the county stripes — honestly, Dutch was beginning to think the men up front forgot the men were even holed up in here. His clothes are soaked with dirt and sweat, though, which is a divine enough punishment for imitating men of luxury; he'll be glad when the strench of tobacco covers this reek back up.

"Care to trim it?" Dutch asks, holding the butt firmly between his fingers, the tip of the cigar through the bars. "That's what the razor is for."

He fights the urge to speak a sarcastic good boy when Carmichael follows his instructions.

The lighter flicks open and on, the sheriff steps closer; Dutch presses his nose uncomfortably between the cool steel bars to let the end light from between his lips. Slowly, he raises his hand to touch Carmichael's knuckles, dancing over his fingers as he gently pushes and pulls his hand back and forth. The back of his hand is hairy, thinly so; dark brown sunfreckles and a few small age spots spatter it and up onto his arm.

"Let me," — the cigar perched between his teeth makes it come across less sultry than intended — "Guide ya hand, sir."

Touching him becomes self-explanatory when the end lights more evenly after the change in tactic — Dutch will be damned if his first smoke in weeks is ruined by an unruly burn. The man still flushes, again, must feel hot as an ember.

He knows, because he's met his eyes again, feigning timidity at the proximity.

Dutch's gaze lingers as he withdraws, hollows his cheeks more than he needs to — although the cigar is a little too tight, his hands having fallen out of practice without the constant stream of leaves between them — and tongues the smoke around in his mouth. The rush is immediate and almost dizzying. He keeps the butt close to his face, draws it along his stubble as he does when he smokes deep in thought.

It helps to taste it, some; it also helps to spread that rouge down Carmichael's neck. He moves his jaw, shows the nicotine-stained teeth that line it as he sneers.

"I oughtta tack sodomy above your head, fool," Carmichael spits, then.

Dutch must not feign surprise for the second time. "Why?" He draws, sacrifices a short hit to exhale it quickly. "I ain't fucked no men yet."

Yet.

The sheriff looks like he would very much enjoy replying to that. And although the cigar could burn something, could catch his clothes on fire if he really wanted to try; although he, an inmate, has now provided the sheriff with a threat of sorts — Carmichael wordlessly motions for the rolling tin back and pivots to look at Hosea's hat-concealed face before returning to the front.

He tips his hat up once he's gone, and sees the humor on his face. "Wrapped around your finger," he mouths.

"Just like you," Dutch replies silently. The older man scoffs.

Night has fallen before Sheriff Carmichael makes his first supposed-to-be routine round of the next evening. Dutch was able to sleep a good few hours away while Hosea traced random bricks in the walls or woodgrains on the floor planks. Neither has had adequate, regular rest since those doors closed.

He and Hosea have been playing games they've forced up from their childhood memories to pass the time: the game of this hour is guess what number he's thinking of. Hosea keeps thinking of the number thirteen because they are so terribly unlucky, and Dutch keeps winning. Each time he does, Hosea stretches his curled back out and lets his boot soles press against the bars in a full-body stretch, spreading his legs nicely, before proclaiming: "Again."

If not for the boots that stepped between them, they'd have changed gears to guess what word he's thinking of.

Sat in front of their bars, Hosea cross-legged and Dutch with his haunches splayed beneath him, they must look like bored animals. Dutch has a feeling that this angle makes Carmichael nervous — he turns his head minimally, lets his eyes turn up instead.

The man sets his jaw. Before he can speak, he is slipped from the cavernous, almost disassociated mindset that had been guessing thirteen and back into that of the predator.

"You a righteous man, sheriff?" He asks, voice quiet. He focuses on his eyes; he has decided Carmichael's eyes are rather alright, a light green and very expressive.

In them, he sees the repression that's been radiating off the man since yesterday's morningtime.

His face flickers. "Why, son?"

He bites his cheek to stave off a grin, ends up looking more coyly amused than anything. "Ain't no righteous man ever looked at me like that."

Carmichael is still — he might harkon to call it hesitating — before slowly lowering onto a knee. "And what is like that?" He asks, tone low, eyes squinting as if to size Dutch up one last time.

He leans forward, swallows the joy of the man's fingers twitching where they rest of his bent knee, tips brushing against the folds of his khakis. "I'd say it's hungry," Dutch says. "Would I be right, sir?"

"I ain't no sodomite," Carmichael says, sticks a finger through the bars and into Dutch's forehead. His voice sounds as unconvinced as he looks of his own words. "I ain't."

"Eyes don't lie." Dutch smooths over his shirt, shifts where he sits on the hard floor as it begins to make his tailbone yell. He'll be glad when this game can be over and won; he's never had a man dare to put his damned, rotten finger between his eyes like it was a gun, like he ought to be scared of it.

Pathetic. Self-important. He will like to have been, in any capacity, the unsightly taker of this man's homosexual virginity, just as well as he will like to be on his horse and out of Kettering.

"'Mon," he goades, as the sheriff looms before him, fighting with himself in the quiet. "I ain't known you to back out of a," — licking his lips, feeling almost like a prostitute for how hard he has began trying to seduce him — "Tight spot."

Self-important, Carmichael is. He mutters insult after insult; Hosea must be an invert, too, I won't bother takin' you down the block 'cuz he pro'ly likes to watch. He lets them tumble out as if speaking them louder than the jingle of his keychain will change that those keys are unlocking the cell door, or that his words are constructed sloppily in the way that a man who is really self-depreciating insults another.

Dutch has risen to his knees, then pushed himself up to standing — only to be backed into a corner the moment the door clinks shut, key still in the lock. His head is pushed where the corner of the bars meets solid brick wall, hair and skin scraping the rough texture as his ears and shoulders are pinned uncomfortably, one clipped by grit and one chilled by metal spindles.

Carmichael is mad, and he thinks he's stronger.

Stronger than Dutch; stronger than his desires.

If only he knew how weak finally giving in can make a man of brawn. Dutch had discovered it when he laid with Hosea those months ago; his knees gave out on him as if he were the eldest there, his heart wanted to burst out of his chest and it made him dizzy, so dizzy — he fell into Hosea and thought no more about whether it was immoral for a sinner like himself to commit yet another crime.

Their mouths meeting is less of a kiss and more of a brawl, Carmichael already slipping through the cracks of decency. Dutch has fondled his way across his shoulders — broad, pleasantly, they must take the same shirt size — and into his hair, tipping his hat off his head to tumble down their side.

Fingers press hard into his throat, his clavicle. The button at his collar pops, tugging chest hair with it, before he realizes Carmichael is undressing him, not strangling him; the bloodrush of not knowing is intoxicating.

It may be business, but there's pleasure in doing such a menial task with the right man, as fleeting as it may be.

And it is pleasant, for a moment.

Carmichael allows Dutch to taste his teeth as long as groans fall out of his open mouth, a real ego-glutton; the man's stubble is prickly and if he squeezes his eyes shut and holds his breath to escape the scent of cologne and leather, he can almost pretend he's kissing Hosea. His darling smells more like horses and earth and metal.

It is irking him how he bites so callously at his jaw, and then his neck; Dutch winces as he sucks hard and fast at his jugular, worse than a damned vampire. It stings, and although the sharp pain down his chest lights him up—

The sheriff's hands are ripping at his belt — expensive leather, expensive buckle, the godforsaken rat — and he has suddenly had his fill of playing cooperative. Dutch grabs at his shoulders, his shirt; he grabs softly at first, then hard enough to bruise.

Carmichael does not notice nor care, not until he is twisted violently into the bars, and Dutch clings onto his biceps to throw the stunned man into the brick wall as hard as he can. The shout is cut off quickly. His nerves are strung tight and his muscles are weaker for it, but the pig is unconscious and bleeding from a long scrape on his sunburnt forehead when Dutch kneels beside his body to double-check.

Hosea's high whistle makes him near jump from his skin. He looks up and meets his eyes as he feels for a pulse on Carmichael's neck; there is one, and it's racing.

"My, Big Cat, you've still got it." He's grinning, broad as spread hands, hazel eyes sparkling as if he were one of them caught in all the action.

Dutch huffs a laugh as he drops the wrist and stands up. It's hoarse.

"Get ready to strip 'im before he comes to," he says, messes with the cluster of keys to open his cell. "I'll find somethin' to tie him up with."

He thumbs through them to find Hosea's — if mine's A3, he must be B3 — feels himself go near-crosseyed with the excitement of freedom, and humiliating the passed-out dope in his old room.

Hosea grazes a hand along his open collar when the bars are slung aside, but passes quickly by. There's no time to waste here; the deputy could pop in at any moment, maybe even a townsperson who'd witnessed another, devilish pair like Dutch and Hosea passing on through. While it is enticing to think of, the risk far outweighs the reward, now.

A hammer is striking in his chest, strikes against a fist there as he trots to the front of the police station. He rummages blindly through the desk and then passes into the deputy's office. From what Dutch had seen, he did seem like the outdoorsy type — just as well, he finds a lasso hanging by the door from a thin wooden peg.

Spare? Favorite? It will fit fine around Carmicharl's wrists and ankles either way, although he cannot think of which origin would add more flavor.

The humor gets to him, then, and when he comes down the corridor to see Hosea smacking a half-conscious sheriff's head back into peaceful emptiness by way of the hardwood, he barks a laugh.

His partner looks up at him, pale blond eyelashes catching the light of the moon. It draws deep shadows over his eyes and mouth, makes him look wild.

"What's so damn funny?" Hosea asks. He laughs, too.

Grins don't leave them, not even as they toss Carmichael every way to Sunday robbing him of his clothes. He is limp as a cadaver. Their mouths only waver having to look at his nudity in any exact detail; suddenly, Dutch is no longer able to convince himself of his physical alrightness, is more interested in worming his way into the pack of smokes that fell from his trousers and lighting two cigarettes for themselves.

"I don't reckon you'll need his underthings, will you?" Hosea asks. Dutch uses his turned, questioning face as an opportunity to stick a lit smoke between his lips.

He scoffs, brings his own to his mouth as he discards the matches on the ground. "Take 'em off anyways."

That— that is boisterously funny. Dutch doesn't believe he's ever heard Hosea giggle before, not even once in their years running together. The cigarette drops from his lips and burns into Carmichael's back, and Hosea plucks it up easily to take a drag.

He aches to kiss him. His throat hurts for his lips, their tender affection over his hate-bruised skin. Ever the gentleman, Hosea does brush a kiss along his cheek as he helps Dutch button the last of the stolen shirt's front — but not more, yet. He complains that kneeling on this tough ground makes his hips ache, and Dutch strokes his hair once, twice. It is wiry with dirt and sweat.

Carmichael's skin is warm enough beneath his palms that Dutch doesn't care to check his pulse again. He holds the arms and legs of the man steady, Hosea securing them together in a mean hogtie.

His prick should smart a storm when he's awoken, if the muscles twitching in his ass and thighs as they drag him towards the center of the wooden floor say anything.

Overkill? Certainly.

Delightful? Monstrously.

"All he's missin' is an apple in his mouth," Hosea says dryly, blows out a cloud.

Dutch almost hollers.

No one suspected anything of Sheriff Carmichael's shadow escorting a lone criminal out of town. Hosea kept his head down, hat pulled firmly over his brow; Dutch gripped his forearm, though no handcuffs bound his wrists behind him. The man carried Dutch's hat in his fists to hide their freeness.

How suspiciously obedient. What training does Carmichael put on his prisoners? Dutch thinks, bites back a fresh fit of laughter that would break their already imperfect, night-covered illusion.

He can hardly contain himself.

Their horses were kept in the sheriff's stables this whole time. At least the animals feed them, they agree, glancing over the other, tempting opportunities to snatch a pack-mule from the unfamiliar horses stalled up.

Hosea's Penny was the happiest of the two to see her man, jaw hanging loose as if to smile when her big brown eyes settled on Hosea's softened ones.

Dutch's horse was a fresh reign — he hadn't even named him before they were took up, and the animal started seeing the broad-brimmed police hat on his head.

That makes him angry. He wishes he'd put his cigarette out on Carmichael's shriveled up balls instead of his front-desk nameplate

[todayisdeadinside]

Nearly Every Artist I Listen To (vaguely and poorly organized)

(inspired by an anon being surprised that i listen to bears in trees! i know i run a blog based around a very mainstream pop group but a lot of my music taste isnt pop or even mainstream, so here's a big old list!)

Theme: Rap/Hiphop

• Eminem (he was my top artist this past wrapped and i know his entire discography)

• Kendrick Lamar (a few songs, i need to get into his stuff more)

Theme: Artists I have on my big "alt music" playlist that got me through age 14-16

• Fall Out Boy (i stand by what i said about all FOB fans being annoying though)

• Avril Lavigne

• Evanescence

• Green Day

• Sleep Token (a few songs)

• NOAHFINNCE (TBOYS STAND UP!!!)

• Bears In Trees

• Mother Mother (yes i was in the dsmp fandom how could you tell)

• Falling In Reverse

• The All-American Rejects

• NF (my late stepdad's FAVE)

• Get Scared

• Linkin Park

• System Of A Down

• Pierce The Veil (has made my top 5 on wrapped multiple times)

• My Chemical Romance

• Hollywood Undead (this is mecore)

• Arrested Youth (a few songs)

• Panic! At The Disco (mostly nostalgia songs though)

• Tally Hall (yes i am autistic how could you tell)

• IDKHOW

• YUNGBLUD (DID YOU KNOW HES ALSO FROM DONCASTER? AND HE KNEW FIZZY TOMLINSON)

• Sleeping With Sirens

• James Marriott (leave me alone at least i took off all the lovejoy songs. you dont wanna know how many times lovejoy was on my top 5 wrapped. i was DEVASTATED)

• Set It Off

• Mindless Self Indulgence

• Three Days Grace

• BLAKSWAN (trust me hes worth a listen hes not super well-known yet)

• Jhariah (fun fact i used 'flight of the crows' as my testosterone update song)

Theme: Club bangers I grew up on

• Flo Rida

• B.o.B

• Britney Spears

• Kesha

• Katy Perry (nostalgia songs- i genuinely cant stand her as a person)

• Nicki Minaj

• Soulja Boy (also very mecore)

• Lady Gaga

• Pitbull

• USHER

• OneRepublic

• Maroon 5

• P!nk

• Macklemore (quit hating on him)

• Avicii

• Shawn Mendes

• Meghan Trainer

• Ed Sheeran (EDDDDDD)

• Jason Derulo

• Demi Lovato

• Imagine Dragons (LEAVE THEM ALONE THEYRE NOT THAT BADDDD maybe im clouded by 2010s baby nostalgia ..... but....)

• will.i.am

• Rihanna

• Shakira

• Selena Gomez

• MARINA

• Sean Kingston

• Bruno Mars (the GOAT of 2010s nostalgia)

• Lorde

• Justin Timberlake

• Justin Bieber

• Sam Smith

• Adele

• fun.

Theme: Music I called indie when I was 15

• Twenty One Pilots

• Arctic Monkeys

• The Neighborhood

• Conan Gray (HIS SONGS ARE CARRYING MY MOMMY ISSUES PLAYLIST LMAO)

• Hozier

• Bears In Trees (again)

• Alec Benjamin

• half•alive

• The Front Bottoms

• Mitski

• Glass Animals (yes i was in the dsmp fandom get out of my house and put away that gun)

• Ricky Montgomery

• Jaymes Young

• Lemon Demon

• Derivakat (yes i KNOW)

• Jack Stauber's Micropop

• Will Wood (only a few songs dont quiz me)

• Wallows

• Tally Hall (again)

• Amanda Fagan (anyone remember her?)

• The Living Tombstone (shoulda called this section my dsmp sin list)

• Cavetown (TBOYS STAND UP!!!!)

• Bo Burnham (the reason i hate katy perry)

• The Chats

• ABBA (not the theme theyre just on the playlist im looking at and i like them)

Theme: Artists I have on a lot of playlists that I didn't put anywhere else yet

• James Arthur

• Halfy & Winks (SPECIFICALLY for oblivion)

• Lovejoy HONOURARILY BECAUSE I CANT SAY THEYRE MY TOP BAND ANYMORE 😭😭😭😭

• The Chainsmokers

• Noah Kahan (im from the midwest hes MECORE)

• David Bowie (only a few songs)

• Tracy Chapman (not just fast car.... i swear....)

• Loving Caliber (iykyk, faster car, i wouldnt change a thing, s7 late 2025)

[ao3feed-narlie]

will you have me? will you love me?

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Mkqwm9S by 5887777844466 “Thinking back now, Charlie didn't want to make assumptions, but he hoped he was part of the reason Nick switched courses. If not for him (which seemed unlikely since they'd just met), but because the course was more interesting than what he was previously taking, an overall favour that saved Nick from a boring start to his week and awarded Charlie a friendship. A very important one, at that. Now, with an entire term, several failed study sessions traded for video games, walks at the park between their flats, tipsy talks in Charlie's bedroom after nights out, an endless thread of texts between them, and a friendship the likes of which he'd never experienced, Charlie couldn't imagine a world where Nick wasn't with him twice a week — typically more, almost daily.” - Or, a multi-chapter, split-POV story about Nick and Charlie finding each other at the University of Leeds, forging a friendship, falling in love, and figuring things out. Story inspired by the song Betty by Taylor Swift, with chapters based off lyrics while following a linear plot. Words: 11196, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Heartstopper (TV), Heartstopper (Webcomic) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M Characters: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Elle Argent, Tao Xu, Tara Jones, Darcy Olsson, Isaac Henderson (Heartstopper), Sahar Zahid, Imogen Heaney, James McEwan, Christian McBride (Heartstopper), Otis Smith | Omar, Sai Verma, Benjamin "Ben" Hope, Harry Greene Relationships: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring, Elle Argent/Tao Xu, Tara Jones/Darcy Olsson Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Aged-Up Character(s), Not Beta Read, Angst with a Happy Ending, Smitten Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Protective Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Bisexual Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Gay Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper) has an Eating Disorder, Drinking, Alcohol, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, They play video games a lot, and text every chapter, and party frequently, honestly they're annoyingly oblivious but we love them for it anyway, charlie is the driver, nick is the passenger princess read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Mkqwm9S