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blood-orange-juice · 7 months

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Ok, Childe as a wuxia/xianxia trope. It's honestly a bit embarrassing how well this fits.

(blame @a-yarn-of-purple-prose for this post and if anyone here is a wuxia fan feel free to correct me, I'm new to the genre)

Wuxia is a Chinese martial arts fantasy genre you are all familiar with. An adjacent genre is called xianxia, "immortal heroes", it ramps all the fantasy elements up to eleven and skews tropes a bit (we'll get back to that).

A common trope is some kind of unorthodox school/sect or technique, allowing to achieve greater power without the usual decades of training. It could be straight-out evil or just revolving around chaos.

Such a martial school is usually called an evil/demonic sect (sect is more like a clan in that setting, not the modern concept of sect) and their techniques tend to drive practitioners to insanity. Either because they are inherently corrupting or because getting too much power without growing as a person is really not the best thing for your mental health. They are also often cast from hp points.

And then there's the archetype of a demonic sect heir. The best pupil or simply someone who has inherited a lost art. Proud, always greedy for more strength, often noble in some weird way.

*points to our calamity of a boy*

Common elements of such stories include:

Falling into some weird realm or meeting a weird person who teaches the hero a Forbidden Technique

Learning a technique too quickly through some sort of magic/alchemy/memory manipulation

Some people are so singular in their pursuit they become insane (走火入魔)

Ambition bad, loyalty and family good

Conflicting loyalties, generally a conflict between a chosen path and personal weaknesses/attachments (could be both ego and familal love, and this is more of a xianxia trope)

Fits like a horoscope so far but wait.

There's a very interesting case of Korean murim genre (their version of wuxia) where sects are less varied (I recommend this post for a basic introduction) and we get three paths:

Justice/Righteous/Orthodox/Light — theoretically they keep the Evil Faction at bay, and protect innocent people, but usually are corrupt to the core

Evil/Unorthodox/Dark — these try gaining as much power as possible and attempt ruling the whole world

Demonic Cult — usually dont take part in evil and justice battles, follow their own code of conduct based on their religion, value strength above all else.

(I'm sure there's a similar distinction in wuxia too, I just can't find it in the deluge of lore)

"Demonic" is closer to "pagan" or "heathen" than Christian idea of demonic here, their beliefs are often based on Zoroastrianism and worshipping a sacred flame. Do you remember all the Persian themes used for Khaenri'ah? And Surtalogi being the flame on Surtr's sword in Norse mythology. I also had the impression that Genshin gnostic references are based on the Zoroastrian-flavoured branch of Gnosticism.

In murim the trope of demonic sect heir is called "heavenly demon" (I believe, a more correct translation would be "supreme heathen"), they are utterly badass, live for the glory of battle, seem more like forces of nature and follow a very strict honour code often conflicting with normal human ethics.

(do I need to spell it out)

TvTropes also says this about Korean stories:

(do I need to spell it out pt.2)

I'm not sure why a Chinese studio would focus on the Korean version of this trope but I'm sure something like this exists in China as well or maybe there's a popular manhwa that inspired authors.

Xianxia extends the fantastic element further, focusing on Taoist concepts and practices and adding all kinds of magical realms (celestial, demonic, etc) and magical beings and making immortality achievable. I still need to read more about it but if I understand that right, demonic heir trope turns into a demon prince in this case. An actual visitor from the demon realm or a practitioner who achieved immortality through dubious means.

These are fae-coded in a way very similar to Childe and have a certain nonchalance towards things most humans would consider traumatic. They are simply not bothered by them, having a different set of morals or faring from a realm that is much worse.

Our boy isn't that (he's still very much human) but he's aesthetically coded like one, same as Scaramouche is yokai-coded, despite not being a yokai.

So. When people say Childe's arc is a reference to Journey to the West, it's not entirely untrue, JttW is the classic of xianxia genre and Childe does belong to the same genre. He, however, is not Sun Wukong but a different, darker trope.

This also explains why he has that "shonen anime protag but not quite" vibe. Shonen was heavily influenced by wuxia but this trope never quite made it to anime or maybe never became popular enough. It's not a deconstruction, it's a different story. Or perhaps a deconstruction of that different story.

#childe #tartaglia #wuxia #my investigation into what the hell this boy is is concluded #this means I'll get to think about something else #many thanks to saoki for indulging my questions for the past two days #there's also an argument for childe being a demon princess rather than a prince but I'm tired #maybe I'll get back to it if anyone wants to meme together #genshin lore tumour #skirk #khaenri'ah #if abyss be thy name I pledge to you my loyalty #I'll need another post to explain how it fits into some scenes #this is already too long

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wangxianficfinder · 11 months

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In the mood for...

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1. Itmf any fics that feature wwx being nhs's best friend/supporter. Esp if it show cases that in relation to the cultivation world Turning against wwx. Fics like Twelve Moons and a Fortnight, or Truth Will Out (when caught on video)

if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family)

Come From My Inkstone by magicgenetek (M, 150k, NHS & NMJ, NHS & WWX, WWX & WN, NHS & WN, LWJ & NHS, NHS & NZH, eventual LWJ/WWX/WN/NHS, Crack Treated Seriously, Canon Divergence, NHS Character Study, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Unrequited Crush, pour one out for nhs and wn's crushes on the most clueless man in the world, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, Mental Health Issues, Happy Ending, Politics, started as a comedy and then starts ping ponging tonally with bro feels and politics. as you do., discussion of canon typical war crimes, Slow Burn, Polyamory, 3zun's slow burn divorce, WIP)

You'll See Me Again by Anonymous (M, 13k, wangxian, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, Adopted WWX, WWXn is a Niè, Protective NHS, time travel, NHS Is A Little Shit, NMJ Lives, Protective NMJ, WWX has an Ugly Duckling Moment, LWJ disagrees because WWX could never be ugly, NHS travels in time and for some reason no one notices, Time Travel Fix-It, WWX is a Little Shit, Oblivious WWX, WIP)

The Yiling Patriarch's Harem Drama by nirejseki (Not Rated, 3k, wangxian, NHS/WWX, WQ/JC/WN, Crack, Accidental Harem)

the years have taught me this: by Tavina (T, 5k, NHS & WWX, Post-Canon, Five Times Something Happened, Grief/Mourning, Friendship, POV NHS, NHS Character Study)

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2. hello!! i have a request for another intf ;3 any fics in which lwj and wwx are already/or become in relationship in the lectures and later stuff happens like in canon (wwx thrown into burial mounds, wwx sacrificing his core etc.) but the relationship between wangxian helps with some things ^^ thanks & @vicleey

Family by Quiet_crash (G, 57k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, JC & WWX & JYL, LXC & WWX, JYL & LWJ, Time Travel Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Established Relationship)

~*~

3. Hi!! is there fics where,canon divergence fics where wwx's parents never die and he gets trained by baoshan sanren? thank youuu! @gideonmorningstar

Going on charmingly by scribbet (T, 21k, wangxian, Teenage LWJ, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, WWX is BSSR's Disciple, Genius WWX, Petty LWJ, Meddling LXC, What if LWJ didn't have an excuse to instantly write WWX off?, Canon Divergence, JFM Doesn't Adopt WWX, WWX minus canon sense of obligation, but still with an inability to shut up around LWJ, I swear LWJ's inner voice was no quite so snarky when I started this, JZN is unfortunately present but only to lose face, LQR's inconsistent adherence to the Lan clan precepts, writing the effective Lan education you would like to see in the world, Technically pre-relationship, but in the typical Wangxian way of them being in deep but just not acknowledging it yet, POV LWJ) I don't remember if his parents are alive or not, but WWX is a disciple of Baoshan Sanren. The requester might also want to check out the "Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn is Bàoshān Sǎnrén's Disciple" tag for similar fic?

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4. Hey, can you suggest any tooth-rotting wangxian fluff fanfic. It would be even better if it was modern or with a-yuan or if they were rich.

Thank you @mayavsworld

The Art of Communication by mrcformoso (G, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Meet-Cute, Engineering Student WWX, Music Student LWJ, Swimmer WWX, Martial Artist LWJ, POV Outsider, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Communication Issues, But Wanxian Makes it Work, LWJ has limited words, WWX has too many words, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Love Languages, Requited Love)

💖Take Root, Come Home by piecrust (G, 3k, Wangxian, short and sweet)

As You Like It by cosmicmilktea (T, 8k, wangxian, post-canon, food as a metaphor for love, tea, light angst, fluff)

~*~

5. For the next ITMF, does anyone have any obedience curse/Ella Enchanted au recs? It doesn't matter to me who's cursed.

Obedient and Bellicose by thunderwear (T, 20k, Wangxian, Ella Enchanted AU, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, cursed LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good brother LXC, LQR loves his nephews you cant change my mind, LWJ crying, Protective LXC, Pining, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Brief Depictions of Violence, meaning at least one of the people you really want to get stabbed does in fact get stabbed)

The Meaning of Silence by The Silverfish (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 14k, wangxian, Mind Manipulation, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pining) Not Ella Enchanted specifically, but I think it was an obedience curse or something similar

obey with true endeavour, lest the wound loses its savior by bogliasco (M, 60k, WIP, WangXian, Curse of Obedience, Self-Harm, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, WWX-centric, Fix-It of Sorts, Consent Issues, Torture)

saturated by antebunny (G, 7k, JC & WWX, wangxian, WWX & JYL, Canon Divergence, Curse of Obedience, Mind Control, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Consent Issues, Lan bashing, Angst with a Happy Ending, Protective Siblings, it's not really mind though?, there's no mind alteration, bad Lan elders, bewildered brother lxc)

~*~

6. Hello!!! Thank you so much for your work, most of what I read are recs from here!

For the next itmf: what are your best canon setting rule 63/gender swap wangxian recs? @eldritch-bisexual

can always check the F/F comp! There's bound to be what they're looking for there

everything by mimilamp

Even Later, Spring by zeldasayre (E, 7k, wangxian, F/F, Female wangxian, middle-aged wangxian, momji, Domestic, Ghosts, Small Towns, Modern, butch4butch wangxian)

~*~

7. Thank you for all your hard work!! Itmf wangxian fics where Wei Wuxian gets seriously injured/needs medical care/first aid/etc and is rescued, preferably by Lan Wangji.

Insert Coin Now for Extra Life by TriviasFolly (E, 201k, wangxian, modern, ABO, Intersex Omegas, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Marriage contract au, Twitch Streamer WWX, what is a plot?, Excuse to write fluff and smut, Fluff, caring for other while sick, Possessive LWJ, Rare Male Omegas, Pack Dynamics, Sugar Baby vibes, Eventual Smut, Brief mention of lwj/others) link in #10

Sick Bed Reserved In Gusu Lan by scifigeek14 (T, 14k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Sick fic, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Golden Core Reveal, Fix-It) WWX & the Wens get sick & go to CR for treatment

the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, wangxian, modern cultivation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Getting Together, Confessions)

the universe would turn to a mighty stranger by RavenclawLoki (T, 11k, WangXian, Angst, Eventual Fluff, But first angst, Some mentions of blood, First Kiss, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Set during ep 12)

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts)

the roots by thelastdboy (E, 30k, wangxian, major character death, graphic depictions of violence, post-canon, post-untamed, MDZS/CQL combination, transmigrator LWJ, dimension travel, time travel, parallel universes, desperation, WWX pov, LWJ pov, heavy angst, mental health issues, giref/mourning, abandonment, depression, suicidal thoughts, hurt/comfort, getting together, rogue cultivator WWX, WQ lives, found family, cottagegore, it gets worse before it gets better) sorta

Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 63k, WangXian, WWX & JL, Post-Canon, Protective WWX, Protective JL, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Reluctant Matchmaker JL) has Jin Ling as the one who steps in! It’s full of family moments!

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8. hi! do you know of post-canon fics where wwx almost dies or badly injured and lwj is scared shitless? happy ending is a must. i've read some and there isn't enough. thanks!!! @aquiver-heart

the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, wangxian, modern cultivation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Getting Together, Confessions) (link in #7)

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9. Hey, for the next ITMF, please help me find fics where,

A. LWJ wears WWX's colors red and black, it could be because of yiling wei sect colors or just a one off thing.

B. LWJ wears jiang purple colors @imstillthinkingaboutithmm

9A)

A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Getting Together, First Time, Pining while fucking, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Angst with a Happy Ending, CQL Verse, almost everybody lives/almost nobody dies, epistolary-ish, canon-ish side pairings, radishes) link in #11

9B)

This gif set by @yuziyuanapologist followed by fic by @mondengel

The Scarlet Lotus by rainbowninja167 (M, 137k, wangxian, Marriage of Convenience, Secret Identity, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical war crimes, Yunmeng Bros, the mortifying ordeal of getting seduced by your own husband, nonlinear chronology we die like cql, just kidding nobody dies in this fic, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication)

For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by sami (E, 65k, wangxian, JC & WWX; JC & LWJ, LWJ & LXC, Canonical Character Death, Mentions of Rape, not explicit but definitely referenced, Time Travel, Not Everyone Dies au, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, WWX/babie tendencies, WQ is a queen in any reality, Healing, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Canon Divergence, Asexual JC, First Time, Getting Together, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, WWX finds new ways to be oblivious, seriously it surprised even us)

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10. Hello, can I ask for some nsfw fic recommendations, I'm in the mood for wangxian fics that contains domestic fluff & s3x (basically wangxian being cute af and then dirty af, or the other way around). Thank you, I love and appreciate you guys so much.

See all this and more for just ten dollars a month! Series by ScarlettStorm (E, 382k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Pining, Porn, like in the writing and also as a plot point, onlyfans au, repressed lwj, sex worker wwx, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, hornt(tm), mental health, therapy is good actually, Nonbinary NHS, Gender Exploration, Hurt/Comfort, past trauma, genderfluid wwx) especially #2 KILF (Knits I'd Like To Fuck in) by ScarlettStorm (E, 168k, wangxian, modern, sex work, fiber arts, 2nd in series)

Just Ask Me To Stay by mrcformoso (M, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, Former JZ/WWX, Minor NieLan, Minor XuanLi, No Powers, Dancer WWX, Musician LWJ, Roommates, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Break Up, Post-Break Up, Recovery, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, Fluff, Light Angst, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Domestic Fluff, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, Size Queen WWX, Belly Bulge, Porn With Plot, WWX Has Friends, LWJ Has Friends, Hurt/Comfort, A lot of comfort, Romantic Comedy, Cuter story than the summary makes it out to be, Feel-good) Just get past the first chapter angst

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11. for the next itmf, any time travel fics where either wangxian or only lwj goes back in time?? just some wangxian shenanigans or wwx getting sweep(?) off his feet by an older lwj. thank you <33

Regrets by antebunny (G, 38k, wangxian, miscommunication, misundersandings, time travel fix-it, temporary character death, angst w/ happy ending, fluff, hurt/comfort) Both LWJ & WWX travel back in time

A Matter of Time by mrcformoso (E, 44k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, POV LWJ, POV JC, Dark LWJ, Manipulation, Grooming, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Consensual Underage Sex, Except problematic please read warning in first chapter, Blood and Violence, Insane LWJ, Manic LWJ, Conditioning, WWX is a Lán, Minor Character Death, Confused JC, Golden Core Reveal, Good Friend NHS, WWX Isn’t Adopted by the Jiāngs, Abusive Jiāng Family, Jiāng Family Bashing, Jiāng Family Critical, POV NHS, Dark NHS, Anal Sex, Marathon Sex, Dual Cultivation, Qīnghéng-jūn Lives, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Self-Lubricates, Plot Twists, Porn With Plot, Scheming NHS, Manipulative NHS, BAMF LWJ, BAMF WWX) Technically what the request asked for (LWJ going back in time & romancing WWX) but mind the tags because LWJ goes back to when they are kids & features dark!LWJ

Take my heart by LadyKG (Not rated, 22k, wangxian, Fix-It, WWX POV, Time Travel, WWX is oblivious but not THAT oblivious thank fuck, JC is done with Wifi's shit, LXC is an angel, but when isn't he lbh, author is biased because of love for characters) lwj time travels back to cloud recesses lectures

💖 From the Future for the Past by friedchickenlord (G, 27k, wangxian, time travel, fix-it, fluff & humor, happy ending, denial, pining, bullying ur younger self is in fact ok) both WWX and LWJ end up time traveling - to different periods of time!

refrain; a musical phrase repeating in a song or instrumental piece Series by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T/G, 51k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Sort Of, Memory Loss, Canon-typical dismemberment, Post-Series, but also mid-series ya feel, Changing Tenses, Protective LWJ, Everybody Lives, Confused WWX, Crack Treated Seriously)

Wangxian's Time-Travelling Shenanigans series by pupeez4eva (M, 18k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, Humor, Love Confessions, PDA, Wangxian being their shameless selves, Nothing will ruin WWX's confession, Not even dozens of very confused disciples, or confused family members because LQR and JC are not amused, time travel at the most inconvenient moment, Everyone is just very confused, Wangxian elope with no explanation and leave everyone else to deal with the aftermath, LXC is a very good big brother, JC is probably going to end up killing WWX, Canon Divergence, Featuring: many horrified bystanders, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, AU of Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, The many moments that Wangxian could have travelled to, POV Outsider)

A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 74k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, Happy Ending, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, Módào Zǔshī & The Untamed Combination, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Bad Parent JFM, Bad Parent YZY, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Angst, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Idiots in Love)

How the Yiling Patriarch Became Everyone's Gay Awakening by tinitin (M, 17k, wangxian, JC & WWX, WWX/Other(s), One-Sided Attraction, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Attempt at Humor, YLLZ kink, Crack Treated Seriously, The YLLZ gets sent back in time, Everyone thinks he's too pretty too ignore, WWX suffers because of his future self's obliviousness, LWJ suffers because of WWX's obliviousness, JC suffers, Everyone doesn't think they're gay just because the Yiling Patriarch is pretty, Time Travel Fix-It, Protective JC, OOC YLLZ, Attractive WWX, WIP)

it calls to those Series by Shializaro (T, 7k, WangXian, Time Travel, POV Outsider, POV Alternating, LWJ Has Feelings, Make LWJ Cry Agenda, Good Sibling JC, JC is So Done, Angst and Humor)

I Started From the Bottom/And Now I’m Rich by x_los (E, 57k, WWX/WRH, WWX/JGS, wangxian, JYL/JZX, time travel fix-it, Pining, Marriage of Convenience, Arranged Marriage, No Sunshot Campaign, WQ Lives, Transmigration, Weddings, Sugar Daddy au, Sugar Daddy, Black Widow, Protective Siblings, Family, Dysfunctional Family, Family Bonding, Sugar Baby, consort, Politics, Demonic Cultivation, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Canon-typical domestic dysfunction, Canon-Typical Gore, Ballad 39: Tam Lin, YLLZ, Crack Treated Seriously)

The Wild Geese’s Tomb by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (T, 66k, wangxian, time travel fix-it)

don’t have to dance by sharksugar (orphan_account) (E, 4k, wangxian, Older Man/Younger Man, Dubious Consent Fantasy, Public Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Incense Burner, Exhibitionism, Public Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Loss of Virginity, Self-Lubrication, No Lube, Dry Sex, Dream Sex, Age Difference)

Catharsis by brannrice (M, 69k, wangxian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, WLLZ WWX, Hurt WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Sad WWX, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Cultivation Sect Politics, Protective LWJ, wwx learning self care? more likely than you think, Slow Burn, wwx has no time for your shit, he's tired alright let him rest, Oblivious WWX, Pining LWJ, Soft wangxian, Rogue Cultivator WWX, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, WIP)

MingYu by Fino_Al_Cielo (T, 87k, WWX & LWJ, YL WWX, yunmeng siblings, Fix-It of Sorts, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, PTSD, References to Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Trauma)

Without end by barisan (M, 70k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Suicide Attempt, Hurt/Comfort, Depressed WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Yunmeng Jiang bashing, Sentient Resentful energy, Medical inaccuracies)

~*~

12. I’m in the mood for some dubcon “just the tip” Lan Wangji.

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13. Please give me one sentence from a fic you love :) (Mod note, please check all the tags from the fics before reading ^^ ~Mod L)

“I don’t want to be an artist,” Wangji would have said, back then. “I want to make what you do last forever.” 💖 Pentimento. by orange_crushed (E, 73k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, art conservation, museums, pining, not actually unrequited love, angst w/ happy ending, misunderstandings, smut, major character injury, hospitalization, hurt/comfort, past incarceration, forgery)

“It's a semi-breve of rest, before the softest of crescendos as Lan Zhan finally closes those spare few inches between them, and presses his lips to Wei Ying's.” Themes and Variations in F# Major by defractum (nyargles) (E, 18k, WangXian, Modern AU, Classical Music, Getting Together, POV Alternating, Long-Distance Friendship) I know nothing about music and that sentence still gets me!

“I will give your pleas the same consideration you gave mine.” Bitter Recompense by mondengel (M, 1k, LXC & LWJ, Angst)

"In the absence of Hanguang-Jun, he is my light," Wei Wuxian responds, then wishes he could take the words back. They feel like too much for this early in the morning." the kite string and the anchor rope by fleurdeliser (M, 38k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, set after the yiling date, Sick Child, the illness never gets worse than it is in the first 1000 words)

"I will die a thousand times, I will die the most painful death you have in store for me, I will die on my knees screaming with no dignity left in me, but please, if there is anything left that is holy in this world, please spare him, let him live. I will do anything, suffer anything, but please, please, save my son, a-Yuan, my a-Yuan." the tragic and entirely true story of the romance between the yiling patriarch and his wife, most renowned doctor of her generation by ravenditefairylights (T, 18k, WangXian, Non-Linear Narrative, Post-Canon, but also during canon, Character Study, Canon Temporary Character Death, excessive use of personal headcanons, Baby LSZ, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Oblivious WWX, Rumors, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Heteronormativity, Fake Marriage, Chronic Pain, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining)

~*~

14. For the next ITMF, is there any fic where wwx learns how to cook good food or like, he knows how to cook. Thank you!

Heat It Up! with Wei Ying by justpeace (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, coworkers to dating, Getting Together, Food, Chinese Character, Chinese American character, Chinese Food, racism that largely happens offscreen, workplace racism, toxic workplace environment, Workplace Relationship, food as a metaphor for racism, Humor, Happy Ending, Angst and Humor, running bits involving pop culture references, food as a metaphor for flirting, References to Drugs, Alcohol, Asian-American Character) has good cook modern AU WY working for a food magazine

Welcome to the Great Gusu Bake Off! by BlackWiresOnHerHead (G, 39k, modern, Modern, College/University au, The Great British Bake Off au, Humor)

🧡don’t threaten me with a good time by livinginaworldofnoise (G, 60k, WangXian, Modern AU, Great British bake off AU, Script format, Fluff and Crack, Reality TV, Social media)

A Feast for the Eyes by lareine (T, 7k, wangxian, modern, Cooking, Social Media, Humor, Celebrity au, WIP)

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15. Hello! Thank you so much for your hard work!! For the next ITMF I was wondering if there’s any fic from LSZ’s POV not as a teenager but as a kid? Any setting or ship is good! Thank you!!

to the act of making noise by words-writ-in-starlight (WordsWritInStarlight) (G, 19k, WangXian, Grief/Mourning, Father-Son Relationship, inquiry, Music, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, CQL Verse) this one is from LSZs perspective, starting when he is a little boy just arrived in cloud recesses, and continuing on with time skips every chapter through post-canon, so it's not all while he's a kid come up but a lot of it is! Bring your tissues!

~*~

16. I’m looking for a fic about wei wuxian who ascends to godhood. I have read Of Destruction and Rebirth and I’m looking for similar fics. If in case you cannot recommend a god story then please recommend an overpowered (OP) or BAMF wwx for me. Thank you! @sri22

🧡 Vow by draechaeli (E, 216k, Canon Divergence, BeliefGod!WWX, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, Pregnancy Kink, Mpreg, minor male lactation, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con because JGS, Mentions Canon Typical Incest, Canon Typical Violence) not quite ascension exactly

A Secret Never Shared by Vrishchika (T, 28k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, frankencanon, Pining, Soft LWJ, Deity WWX, BAMF WWX, Alternate Universe, LSZ is the best boy)

Wuqian, the Local God of Yiling by Grace_ShadowWolf (TaubeLePigeon) (M, 80k, wangxian, WWX & LSZ & LWJ, major character death, canon divergence, angst w/ happy ending, god WWX, Chinese mythology & folklore, pining, temporary character death, WIP)

despite it all by novalotypo (T, 292k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Memory Loss, god of luck! au, Non-Linear Narrative)

~*~

17. A) ITMF WRH lives aus! I'm looking for something like what happened to WN. JGY involved in some positive manner (maybe whumpee WRH and JGY becomes caretaker idk I'll take whatever you can find)

B) In the mood for fics where Wen Ruohan has emotions! Give that man human emotions please. Preferably involving JGY in a non-antagonist light @crypticidentity

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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stinetoftdk · 7 months

Text

A better world

I am born intersex, which in my case mean that I was born with both male-typical and female typical sex traits. I was assigned the male sex at birth and because I reserve the right to be in disagreement, with that designation, I am also what is called transgender.

I see myself as a woman, but neither as male nor female.

I have a need to rearrange my sex traits, in a manner where my body will become sexually unambiguous, to the extent that is possible, to alleviate my severe discomfort associated with having male sex traits, as a woman.

I am on early retirement (welfare system, for physically/mentally ill/handicapped people), because of traumatic experiences forced upon me in the Danish healthcare system, on the basis of my status as both intersex and transgender and I have co-founded a human rights organization that aim to spread awareness of the existence of intersex people and what that means, while also working towards recognition of intersex persons human rights, especially on the right to self determination of what happen with our own bodies, that no medically unnecessary procedures are performed against our wishes or without our personal, free and informed consent (Physical integrity) and the right to highest attainable standard of health.

Just as is the case with male and female bodies, there are illnesses and problems related to being male or female, the same is true for different intersex variation, and there are many ways in which someone can be intersex.

As is the case with my variation, issues with expressing ourselves in social situations is often observed, there’s an increased tendency towards anxity, autistic traits are observed in 30-50% of all people with my variation, symptoms of the non-hyperactive form of ADHD, as well as difficulties in regulating our own emotions.

I drew the shortest straw and unfortunately I have traits of all these issues, which I think also had significance in my early retirement. That said, I of course do my very best to find solutions so that I can one day contribute to society, the same as most others, but with a differently wired brain that doesn’t at all match up with how the Danish labour market function, finding a solution has proven very difficult and I have been psychiatrically evaluated to never be able to improve my chances of ever being able to keep a job.

I hope and keep my fingers crossed that in time I can find something that suits my neuro-atypical brain.

One of the ways that helps me regulate my emotions, perform better socially and regulate my negative autistic traits has been to participate in sports. I have a particular interest in martial arts and moving my body has a calming effect on me which also helps me not feel less anxious.

For me, martial arts is a form of very physical therapy, where I can burn a lot of energy, but at the same time, it’s a way for me to achieve the weight loss that is required in most places around the world, to become eligible for gender affirming surgery.

I believe it’s important that we as transgender and intersex persons, share our experiences and lives with society, if we are able to, to participate in fostering a better understanding of who we are and thus create a better society where, we can live our lives as equals, with the same opportunities and rights, as the rest of the population.

I believe that this instead of polarizing, if we have the courage to be vulnerable and have our voices heard, can help create a shared understandings and recognition of the diversity of all people.

It would mean a lot to me, if you would share this post, because the only way I can participate in making a better world, is by reaching a bigger audience.

As intersex and transgender people, we need your help and support to create a better Denmark (and world).

(The photo is from a conference I attended a long time ago, but the message is still relevant)

#trans community #transgender #trans pride #transgirl #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq community #adhd #autism #intersex #intersex community

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barcalover86 · 1 year

Text

Drunk Confession- Pablo Gavi

Summary: After you drank a lot at some party, you confessed your feelings to Lewa and Pablo hears you.

You were with the Barca players at some party, celebrating the win of the season.

You were dating Gavi, and seeing him happy made you so proud of him. He worked hard, and finally, he had some time to have fun.

You told him before going to the party that you want him not to stay with you, but enjoy his friends' company. First, he didn't agree, but after you told him that you would celebrate together after, he was excited.

You are 18 and not used to alcohol that much. You drank sometimes, but even after one shot you would be a little drunk.

Today, you really wanted to enjoy and have fun with the players' girlfriend and wifes so you took more shots.

After the 3rd one, you weren't sore at all. You've never been drunk before, just a little dizzy, and this time, it was a little different.

You were now with Lewandowski, and you suddenly started to talk with him. He looked at you, and when he heard what you said, it broke his heart. He let you speak until you were done and after that he hugged you.

He hated seeing you cry because you were like his little child. You all the time got along so well with each other and had a nice relationship.

"I don't know anymore, Lewy. I miss it so much, and I think I regret giving up, but at the same time, I think it was the best decision. Somehow, I feel incomplete. I lived for sport. My passion for it was the next level, and seeing you guys a real team, supporting each other, having amazing couches that are encouraging you, having some nice training..it makes me sick that I didn't have the chance to do all of you do know" you spoke your heart

"Y/n, the decision you made was the best one, and you know why? You wanted what's best for your heart and mental health, and you shouldn't be disappointed because you wanted to be better. I know it was, and it is still hard to give up on your passion, I can't imagine myself giving up football yet, but you are strong and are allowed to make mistakes. What you've been through is a story that no one can tell, but you. Because of it, you are now who you are, an amazing talented girl with so much passion. It's hard to let things go, but you are young, and if you would ever want to go back, you still have time. And maybe not to do it in a professional way, but to enjoy it like you did when you were a kid. I know you miss competitions and your friends, but now you are here with us, and we will do anything to make you happy"

"Thank you, Lewy.." you smiled with tears in your eyes.

Sometimes, you felt sad because you didn't have the opportunity to be in a good and supportive team. You did 11 years of martial arts, and at the age of 16, you gave up because of your couch. He mentally abused you and manipulated you. He would shout at you and tell you that you are no one.

You've managed to be the World Champion at a young age because of your talent and hard work. A lot of people would tell you that you are a rear fighter, a Messi at this sport, but no one knew what you went through.

You hated going to training, and no one supported you, only your parents. They told you to give up because at some point you got sick and spent a few days at the hospital because of your overstress.

You were also badly injured, and when you told your couch about it, he told everyone that you were faking it.

You did a lot of recovery but found your strength to give up after being for so long in a toxic club.

The sport you did wasn't like football, where you could switch teams. You leave your team, you leave this sport.

It's been years, and you still miss the feeling of competition. You still look at some photos when you are still playing, and every time you get emotional.

You were thankful for being part of Barca and seeing how supportive everyone is here.

After you went home, still a little drunk (the reason you suddenly told your story for the first time), Gavi went to you and hugged you.

You were confused because he isn't a hug guy, but when he told you he heard your story, tears started to form again.

"I'm sorry you're getting through this, amor"

After you saw his eyes watering, you felt sorry for making him cry. He kissed you slowly and promised you that he won't ever leave you, and together you would get through it.

You felt happy for having a boy who cared for you.

" I also promise you, Pablo, that when you will feel what I felt, I will be by your side and give you advice " you told him and you both smiled.

Gavi took you in his arms and went showering together, making sure every time that you know how much he loves you.

This is a story from my life. Of course, it's a little different because I've never had a boyfriend or a Lewandowski in my life. I just want you guys to know that you can get over everything in your life and start to appreciate the good things that happened in that bad period. Take care, everyone! I love you❤️

#fc barca #fc barcelona #football #gavi #pablo gavi #pablo gavira #pablo martín páez gavira #gavi x you #gavi x yn #gavi x reader #gavi imagine

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theyanderespecialist · 7 months

Text

Base Yandere Viper Headcanons: Mother (SNAKE) Hen (Headcanons) (Kung Fu Panda)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with a new chapter/Update! This one has Yandere Viper Base Headcanons and I hope that you all enjoy this!]

(Disclaimer: Viper is a SENTIENT Snake and you are also a SENTIENT Snake)

(Disclaimer Number Two: Viper is Not Yandere In Canon, this is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine, just do not be illegal or gross about it! Yanderes are NOT Ideal partners to have In Real Life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon!

Thank you, and Happy Lunar New Year!)

Once again please enjoy this!]

-Base Yandere Headcanons with Viper From Kung Fu Panda-

.Viper is a very kind-hearted Woman.

.She is also one of the furious five.

.She also has at least two sisters.

.She fell for you hard when you worked at the temple.

.Studying to become a master in martial arts.

.She needed to have you as her partner and she would have you no matter what.

.She is so loving, warm, kind-hearted, and affectionate with you

.She makes you smile all the time and loves to make you laugh.

.She is a bit of a mother hen yandere where she would make sure that you eat enough, get enough rest

.She wants your mental health and physical health to be taken seriously.

.She is the type of yandere to hover around you and try to make you see that she is the one to you~

.She does not like cruelty or injustice so with rivals she does not torture them.

.Instead, she kills them with one strike. She does not care what she has to do, they will not be getting in the way of her love for you.

.She also deals with rivals with zero hesitation she will strike down on them, ending their lives.

.She is a patient yandere and wants the best for you, even if the best for you is not with her.

.But she is SO going to threaten the life of any partner you have, to make sure they never ever try anything to hurt you.

.And if they do they will be dealt with so fast and so swiftly that they did not even see it coming.

.She is also the type of yandere to stay by your side and take care of you.

.She also worried if you are strong enough to be a martial arts master. It constantly worries her.

.Though she has faith in you and has empathy if you a struggling.

.She would finally confess to you and ask for you to be hers.

.Most likely under a beautiful tree as the blossoms are in bloom.

.If you accept her love she is more than excited and she cannot wait to Marry you and have you as her spouse.

.If you turn him down, well she would ask why, and if you say you are with someone else?

.She will do her best to respect it, but if her rival crosses the line he is so dead.

.If you say you do not see her like that, then she knows that she has to work harder and make her intentions and desires more clear.

.So that way, one day you will be hers and hers alone.

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done! I hope you all enjoyed, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!]

#yandere #yandere viper #yandere kung fu panda #yandere headcanons #headcanons #kung fu panda #kung fu panda viper #viper #viper x reader #reader #gender neutral #gender neutral reader

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theeasistwayofdoingthings · 1 year

Text

Character sheet

(link for notion)

-------------

Read(about the sheet)

My first language isn't English, so if there are any grammatical problems, I'll be glad if you correct me.

If you have any suggestions of things to add in this sheet feel free to tell me, I can make personalized character sheets too(Character sheets with specific themes, ex: strawberry themed sheet), so if you wanna one you can ask :)

Read:

I'm planning on making more sheets not exclusively Character creation sheets, but maybe sheets for, potion creation, musical group sheets, things like that So if you'll have any suggestions feel free to tell me.

-----------

If you prefer to see directly without the link:

--------------

“Character quote”

General information

Name:

Pronunciation:

Meaning:

Middle name:

Pronunciation:

Meaning:

It's an honor to a family member?

Surname:

Pronunciation:

Meaning:

Nicknames:

Titles:

Hometown:

Current city:

Gender identity:

Birthday:

Dominant hand:

Sign:

Mbti:

Symbol (if they have):

Handwriting:

Signature:

Appearance

Height:

Weight:

Specie:

Race:

Blood type:

Skin Color:

Extra member(if they have):

Birthmarks:

— How is It:

— Where is it:

Piercings:

— Name of the piercing:

— Where is it:

— Piercing jewelry:

Scars:

— How it is:

— Where it is:

— How they get it:

Tattoos:

— How is it:

— Where is it:

— Have any personal meaning?

Hair color:

Hair length:

Hair type(if is straight, wavy, curly or coily):

Haircut/hairstyle:

Ear shape(if are human ears,pointy, etc...):

Eye color:

Eye shape:

Eyebrows:

Nose shape:

Teeth:

Nails size:

Nails shape:

Face shape:

Facial hair:

Fur:

Fur length:

Fur color:

Fur pattern:

Tail color:

Tail size:

Tail type:

Tail pattern:

Wings color:

Wings size:

Scent:

Walking style:

Running style:

Health

Diet:

Exercise:

Posture:

Reflexes:

Eating habits:

Sleep habits:

Allergies:

Illnesses:

Disorders:

Syndromes:

Imperfections :

Broken bones:

Abnormalities:

Disability:

Meds:

Psychological

Memory:

Temperament:

Vocabulary:

Mental health:

Emotional stability:

Instincts:

Learning style:

Interpersonal:

Intrapersonal:

How they see the world:

How they see their life:

Linguistics:

logical-mathematical:

Perception

Sight:

Hearing:

Smell:

Touch:

Taste:

Intuition:

Philosophy

Religion:

Devotion:

Superstitions:

Animal spirit:

Morals:

Etiquette:

Attitude:

Mantras:

Taboos:

Character

Main goal:

Secondary goal:

Priorities:

Motivations:

Self-confidence:

Self-control:

Self-esteem:

Hobbies:

Personal hobbies:

Guilty pleasure:

Habits:

Desires:

Manias:

Afflictions :

Traumas:

Concerns :

nervous tics :

soft spots:

Achievements :

Greatest achievement:

failures:

Greatest failures:

Favorite dream:

Worst nightmare:

Latest memory:

Earliest memory:

Happiest memory:

Saddest memory:

Funniest memory:

Vocabulary

Compliments:

Insults:

most used words:

Greetings:

Preferences

Likes:

Dislikes:

Special interests:

Most favorite things/subjects :

Least favorite things/subjects:

Combat Skills

Martial arts:

Resistance:

Strong points:

Weak points:

Specialties:

Special move:

Speed: From 0 to 10=

Dexterity: From 0 to 10=

Agility: From 0 to 10=

Flexibility: From 0 to 10=

Stamina: From 0 to 10=

Home, job, education

Hometown:

Current City:

Home traditions:

Routine:

-------

Employer/boss:

Job:

Rank:

Do they like their job?

Experience:

Community service:

Supervisor:

Job hours:

Work ethics:

Method of transport to work:

Criminal record:

Dream job:

Salary:

Expenses?

Dependents:

Savings:

Debts:

Budget:

-------

Primary school:

Elementary School:

Middle school:

High school:

College:

Extracurricular activities:

Special education?

Average grades:

Study habits:

Graduation year:

Specialties:

PETS

Pet #1

Name:

Specie:

Race:

Sex:

Age:

Is neutered:

Is it a service animal?

Social life

Best friends:

Best friend #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Friends:

Friend #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Allies:

Allie #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Acquaintances:

Acquaintance#1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

followers:

Follower #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Subordinates:

Subordinate#1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Rivals:

Rival #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

— Why we don't get along:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Enemies:

Enemy #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

— Why we don't get along:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Inspirations:

— Why is it an inspiration?

Heroes:

Mentors:

Communicative:

Cooperative:

Discriminations :

Reputation:

Sociability:

Status:

Social class:

Community:

Family

Mother:

— how is their relationship with her?

Father:

— How is their relationship with him?

Siblings:

Sibling #1

— How is their relationship with them?

Children:

Child #1

— How is their relationship with them?

Relatives:

Distant relatives:

ancestry:

Love life

First love:

Romantic interest:

Marital status:

S/O, Romantic partner:

Sexual orientation:

Romantic orientation:

Love language:

Information about their partner

— who asked to date?

How many years of dating:

When was the dating ask:

Where it was:

How it was:

— Who proposed ?

How many years married:

When was the propose:

Where was the propose:

How it was:

informations for the story

Archetypes:

Enneagram:

Mbti:

Tropes:

Cliches:

Role:

Voice actor:

Symbolizes something:

Inspiration:

One word:

Theme song:

Soundtrack:

Date of creation:

First appearance(Date, local, event):

Latest appearance(Date, local, event):

Last appearance(Date, local, event):

Impressions

First impressions:

How they see themselves:

How the family see them:

How their partner see them:

How their friends see them:

How the authorities see then:

How strangers see them:

How their enemies see them:

Development

Personal:

Social:

Physical:

Mentally:

How they Express

Angry

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Anxiety

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Confusion

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Depression

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Embarrassment

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Enthusiasm

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Fear

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Guilty

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Happiness

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Repentance/Regret

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Nervous

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Offended

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Gratitude

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Sadness

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Stressed

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Thoughtful

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Biography

Infancy (0-3):

Childhood (4-12):

Adolescence (13-19):

Adulthood (20-54):

Seniority (55+):

—What you can put in the biography:

Birth name?

Born with health?

Where they were born?

Way of birth?

First words?

— if they are dead you can put:

Death date?

Where they die?

How they die?

Where was they buried? Was they buried?

Death wish?

Last words?

#oc #character sheet #original character #notion #template

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marinahavik · 3 months

Text

I decided to redo some files because I wasn't really liking them

Welcome to Yumi's new profile

Yumi Yozakura is the youngest in her family, she has six older brothers.

In the universe of my fanfic “a bloodstained flower” Yumi is the monitor of Ramshackle but in the universe of “Ramshackle Isn't on Fire (Yet)” Yumi is one of the 80 people who live in Ramshackle

(The universe of “Ramshackle Isn't on Fire (Yet)” was created by @raguiras , the project has a server on Discord with the same name, and a blog on Tumblr with the name @riofy-ramshackle )

Some information about her

Yumi

NAME: Yumi Yozakura

AGE: 17

PRONOUNS: she/her

GENDER: female

SEXUALITY: Pansexual

HEIGHT: 170 cm/5’5’’

BIRTHDAY: May 21st, Gemini

MBTI: infp

HOMELAND: Tokyo/ Japan

OC TYPE: Yuu

MAGIC?: maybe

OC X CANON SHIP: Jamil x Yumi (cherry snake)

GENDER: female

SPECIES: human (receptacle)

GRADE: first year

DOMINANT HAND: right

CLUB: light music

BEST SUBJECT: potions

HOBBIES: fashion design, shiny objects, cute things, collecting action figures, Disney movies, mythology from various countries, jewelry, figure skating, artistic gymnastics, martial arts training

HATE: annoying people, lack of personal space, lack of freedom, Crowley, not sleeping well, being hungry, crowded and noisy places

FAVORITE FOOD: sweets, especially if they are strawberry, chocolate or passion fruit flavors

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: nothing (for now)

LIKES: Disney movies, anime, manga, cosplay, her siblings, her friends, Goliath (her dog), Jade (her pet snake), sweets, appearing out of nowhere and scaring others, mythology

DISLIKES: Crowley, very bitter foods, lack of freedom, people trying to steal her food, it disturbs her sleep, her hair is messy

TALENTS: skating, gymnastics, martial arts, a little theater and fashion design

#Yumi Yozakura's stats

(Thanks Mionn for the model!)

0 = absent

5 = average

10 = present at an extreme level

INTELLIGENCE

Academic intelligence: 10/10

Emotional Intelligence: 8/10

Romantic Intelligence: 7/10 (Only works with others, because with her it's a mess)

Everyday Intelligence: 10/10

Planning (successfully) in advance: 10/10

Logic: 10/10 (As a member of the Yozakura family and future matriarch, Yumi has superhuman intelligence)

STRENGTH

Physical Strength: 50/10 (Similar to Mitsuri from Kimetsu, she has completely superhuman strength)

Magical Strength (minus UM/OB): 0/10

Unique Magical Strength: 0/10

Overblot/Alternate Form Strength: 10/10

Emotional Strength: 7/10

HEALTH

Physical: 8/10

Mental: 6/10

Physical Beauty: 9/10

ATTITUDE

Optimism: 7/10

Realism: 8/10

Pessimism: 5/10

ABILITY TO DEAL WITH SITUATIONS

Someone is sad: 6/10

Someone is angry: 7/10

Someone is angry with him: 4/10

Someone asks for love advice: 4/10

Someone asks for friendship advice: 8/10

Someone needs help making a plan: 10/10

WILLINGNESS TO...

...help others with minor problems: 9/10

...help others with major problems: 9/10

...put others before yourself: 10/10 (only for friends and siblings)

CATCH

Quick Catching Ability: 10/10

Quick Thinking: 8/10

Sarcasm: 10/10

Cynicism: 7/10?

DEADLY SINS

Pride: 10/10

Greed: 10/10

Envy: 4/10

Anger: 5/10

Lust: 5/10

Gluttony: 2/10

Sloth: 2/10

some information about Yumi's brothers and the Yozakura family

the Yozakura family.

The family has been known since the Edo era as a family of renowned assassins and ninjas. Over the centuries, the family has modernized but still maintains certain traditions. They now work as spies, preventing sects from dominating the world and committing various other types of crimes.

They are the most influential family in the Japanese underworld (or perhaps the world) and are ranked first in the category of best spy family, among other categories.

The family is currently in its 10th generation and consists of 7 members.

Some of the main characteristics of the family are their dark hair and black eyes. Rumor has it that looking into the eyes of a Yozakura is the same as looking death in the face.

Another striking characteristic is Soumeine, a unique protein found in the family's blood.

This Soumeine can make normal humans become superhumans, and so the leader must be protected at all costs, as she contains the largest amount of Someminine

The order from oldest to youngest are, Ren, Keiko, Aiko, Yuki, Akemi, Seiji and Yumi

according to the family rules (which were written in the Yozakura archive) Yumi is the current matriarch

I will soon make a new POST about the Yozakura family, as many things have been changed since the initial version

The family's former matriarch was killed when the children were young, and their father was presumed dead but is only missing.

Despite their "ordinary" appearance, the Yozakura family is a family with abilities far beyond those of any ordinary human.

Rumor has it that the first leader of the family made a kind of deal with the devil so that she and her children could protect themselves.

The strange abilities have continued to this day. Each child is born with a unique and completely superhuman ability, but in each generation a girl will be born without abilities.

This child without abilities is the one who will be the next head of the family, as she is the one who will continue the Yozakura lineage.

Yumi is the child without abilities of this generation and the current head of the family, at 17 years old. The mission of the rest of the family is to protect the leader at any cost.

Yumi, even without supernatural abilities, is still a force to be reckoned with, knowing 5 types of martial arts, in addition to having great knowledge of poisons and the use of various types of weapons.

Unfortunately, because she was the next boss, she didn't have a normal life, and unfortunately she didn't have many friends, and she couldn't trust people other than her brothers, because murders and kidnappings are common.

Since her blood could be used to artificially create superhumans.

The few friends she had were also connected to espionage or were online friends. The last time she made friends who weren't connected to this work was the first and last time, because they ended up dead and to this day Yumi blames herself for this, since her first friend and his brother ended up dying just for getting close to her (when she arrived at Twisted Wonderland and saw two people identical to her friend and his younger brother, she almost had a breakdown).

A little about her personality

Yumi is a very calm person and doesn't usually get involved in conflicts, but when she does, it's better to run or pray, because she shows no mercy.

Because she was raised in a family that was anything but normal, she isn't afraid of many things, and because of that, it's hard to scare her.

So many years of suffering assassination attempts have given her nerves of steel. So she doesn't usually show much emotion when she goes through a dangerous situation.

She's so silent that she could be right next to you and you wouldn't notice. She's already scared the first-year class a lot because of this. Marina once joked that they should put a bell on her, like the ones they have on cats' collars, so they know when she's around.

She is quite quiet with strangers, or people she is not very close to, but despite being somewhat introverted she has a good level of social battery.

But with people she is already used to, her personality transforms into a cheerful and agitated girl who is a little sarcastic and ends up swearing a lot, or cursing and making some morbid jokes.

She talks a lot, especially about her hobbies, and is a little agent of chaos. She likes to create her own devices, she ended up creating a kind of hologram communication device for the entire first-year class, now they all have a new device, never seen before and other people are a little jealous.

The device is round and looks like a small makeup case with a mirror for Yumi and the twins, while for the boys it looks like a pocket watch.

The devices were made to be worn on a special belt with other things that Yumi gave as gifts. Each device was customized to match the dorm uniform and the owner's personality.

Some interesting facts and other information

Current mayor of Ramshackle

She is ambidextrous, so she can do things with both her left and right hands.

When she was a child she dislocated her right arm after falling from a tree, she started trying to learn to use her left arm to do things, and ended up being able to do various activities with both hands

She likes animals

She has a dog named Goliath who is the family's guard dog

Goliath is an old lab experiment that ended up being saved by the family, and since then he has been part of the Yozakura family. No one knows how old he is, since he has been in the family for years.

30cm (Small Form)

100cm (Medium Form)

800cm (Large Form)

She likes anime, manga and manhwa as well as otome games

She really likes Disney and has a great knowledge about it

Speaks at least 5 languages: English, Japanese, Spanish, Mandarin and Latin

When she arrived at Twisted Wonderland and saw the statues of the 7 greats, she immediately recognized them and explained a little of their history to Grim, which surprised Ace.

When asked how she knew this information, she didn't answer directly, she just said that they were also known in her dimension but that their stories were different from those that Night Raven knew, and she refuses to talk about it, no matter how much they insisted that she talk about it.

Even though she doesn't have magic, she ended up being great at history and potions. She also ends up doing well in physical education, but most of the time during Professor Vergas' classes she finds a way to hide.

Her characteristic colors are white, pink, red, black and gold.

She has a pet snake that she calls Jade.

The Havik sisters kind of adopted her, so they are always together.

After several events, the first-year class was mistaken for a gang. Yumi is the leader, the twins are her assistants, Ace and Deuce are her right and left arms. Jack and Sebek are the security guards. Epel seems to be the secretary and Ortho is the group's hacker.

To earn more money, she opened a kind of fight club in Ramshackle's basement. Almost all the dorms show up either to watch or fight, Leona usually shows up and stays in the VIP area watching everything. (And mainly because most of the people who enter are students from Savanaclaw)

Speaking of Ramshackle, the dorm is completely chaotic and it's not because of the ghosts that the dorm seems to be alive, besides the fact that the room and strange objects appear out of nowhere, there was one time when Yumi found her computer, she doesn't know how it got there but she doesn't complain.

She usually hacks into the school's system sometimes to bribe the principal, he's always crying because Yumi steals his money and can't even say anything, the last time she tried to complain, Yumi showed her evidence that Crowley was stealing money that the Al-Asim family donated to the school, and she said she would send it to the newspapers and ruin his reputation, he never complained again.

She uses the money she bribed from Crowley, and also from the fight club, to restore her dorm.

The first years are always having sleepovers, and at these parties they have discovered a bunch of secret rooms and underground passages that connect Ramshackle to the rest of the school.

Other information

•She doesn't fully understand some feelings. Yozakuras normally only know five feelings: Joy, Sadness, Anger, Hate and Love. Other feelings are confusing to them.

• The matriarch is the one who understands the feelings of others the most, but does not fully understand them like a normal human being.

• Yumi doesn't see any problem in killing or getting rid of something that bothers her. Despite being the most "human" of her siblings, Yumi also has great aggression and a huge hunting instinct.

• Regarding the hunting instinct, Yozakuras were created to kill and annihilate enemies. Not even Yumi is free from this factor in her DNA.

• Despite being a bit cruel, if you're not part of the family and you're not someone Yumi cares about, she doesn't even bother to remember your name.

• Yozakuras were created for battles, and because of that, they have an enormous thirst for blood, and they constantly get into fights to reduce this thirst.

•If they spend too much time without being able to release this thirst for blood and adrenaline, they become uncontrollable.

That's all for now, more information will be added over time, and I'll also make a new post about the Yozakura family, I'll also make a post about Yumi's dynamics with some characters, that's all for now, thank you for reading, I apologize for any possible grammatical errors, questions and suggestions are always welcome, and until next time

#twisted wonderland #twst original character #night raven college #twisted oc #twst yuu #twst oc #my ocs #yumi Yozakura

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anti-katsuki-lounge · 9 months

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I was wondering your thoughts on Yui Kodai and what would you have done differently with her character?

Alright, buckle up, cause this is going to be a trip down head-canon city 😂. Feel free to let me know what you think about my head-canons.

So Yui’s seen as a blank slate character. In the manga/anime, she has little to no personality and really only exists to enlarge objects for other characters to use. However, even from such a small template, there’s quite a lot you can do with her.

Before we start, I wanna say that Yui’s got one of my favorite designs in all of fiction. I don’t know why I like it so much, but I think it’s cause it’s the perfect blend of cute and plain. I tend to like the simpler designs and she’s without a doubt got that all down.

Now for the head-canons:

- Yui’s a clear introvert. So much so that her idea of fun is hanging out in her room either alone or with one individual who’s on a similar wavelength to hers, hence why she’s usually seen around Reiko… whenever she’s out of her room. 1-B’s a bit too eccentric for her most of the time, but it’s not like she’s got any ill will towards them. She sees them as friendly people and doesn’t really resist being dragged around to their hangout sessions, but she’s not too involved with anything they do.

- Yui’s a cat person over a dog person. She really likes dogs, and animals in general, but cats have a personality similar to hers so she enjoys their company.

- She’s a huge Ultraman fan. So much so that if someone gives her the time, she can recount everything there needs to be known about the Ultraman series. She also likes other manga and anime, but Ultraman’s really where her passion lies. Why did I pick Ultraman of all things? It’s cause her costume and quirk are actually based on Ultraman.

- Yui’s stoic nature is due to the popular kuudere trope, but if we wanna add a realistic explanation for why she’s stoic, in one of my fics, I’ve made it so she has Schizoid personality disorder. For the most part, Yui feels like she’s more of an observer when it comes to her life. She struggles to make meaningful relationships in her life, struggles to find excitement, and a reason to exist. She’s not suicidal or anything, but it’s hard for her to get involved with the world. She’d rather be in her own world, which is quiet, cozy, and the one place she can find entertainment.

- Though mostly apathetic to the world around her, in her eyes, she knows there’s something “wrong” with her. It’s something that gnaws at her and is one of the rare topics that’ll cause her to get frustrated. When she gets like this, she shuts down as drifts off into space. This is one of those head-canons that is based around my own experiences with my mental health.

- When it comes to friends, Yui has given it little thought. She views 1-B as friendly people she interacts with, but isn’t sure she’d call them her friends due to her struggles of forming relationships. At best, she closest with Reiko, but it’s due to Reiko being a quiet individual herself and the fact their quirks synergize with one another’s.

- Yui’s got a 5/6 A+ ranking in skill. How does that translate into a fight? First off, she knows numerous martial arts, that much is a given. She took it to feel more alive and ended up being quite good at it. Her brain doesn’t really overthink things, so she never hesitates. That’s not to say that she isn’t a strategic fighter. One of Yui’s favorite tricks is tossing an item and enlarging it. Against those with destructive quirks like Katsuki, it forces them to either dodge or break the item, and when the enemy breaks it Yui capitalizes on the new weapons. In a fight, Yui’s quick and to the point. Her model of fighting is to finish things as quickly as possible, and she doesn’t think twice about playing dirty. Throat punches, striking pressure points, enlarging objects like rocks to bludgeon someone with them, she’ll go for it all. If she has to break someone’s leg to get an advantage, she’ll do so too. Her method of fighting’s something most people would see as brutal and somewhat morbid, but for Yui, it’s a means to an end, and due to her apathetic nature, she almost never hesitates to go for low blows if at a disadvantage. She does know self control though, but she doesn’t really care what others think about the way she fights.

- Her reason for being a hero is a mixture of her being inspired by the Ultraman comics and because people told her she’d make for a good hero due to her quirk and skills. Having no other prospects in life, she decided to give hero work a chance. Hero work’s one of the few things she’s somewhat passionate about and she hopes to learn a bit about herself along the way.

- According to Hori, Yui had a fanclub of guys who liked her in middle-school. Yui has no idea about their existence. For the most part, people see Yui as an enigma. No one knows what’s going on inside her head and that combined with her looks is why she’s popular with guys. She has no idea when guys are flirting with her and is always blunt with her answers. For the most part, she’s not interested in relationships, mainly because she lacks the ability to form such relationships, but if someone can knock down all her walls, she might be interested.

These are all my head-canons for Yui. I know it’s a lot for a character with very little screen time but let me know what you all think 😊

#mha headcanons #yui kodai

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sunnydaworm · 2 months

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So I’m redesigning the YanSim characters!

Number 1, we have Ayano Aishi. The modern day protag, I actually completely redesigned the whole uniform too! The uniform is a default red but can be customized to be any color as part of some “uniforms make it hard to express yourself” movement. Also Ayano is completely different, she instead of being emotionless actually hides her emotions as she finds weakness in it so she hides her feelings from the love interest but is still extremely possessive over them.

Next is Ryoba Aishi, the 1980s mode protag. Her uniform is similar but it used to be dark red, and everyone had to wear that color. Darker red symbolizes the old bl00d that has been shed in the past. Ayano’s bright red uniform symbolizes the bl00d to be spilled in the future. Ryoba after wining her love interest graduates and quickly becomes a mother, being so obsessed with her newlywed that she rarely acknowledges Ayano which lead to Ayano having poor social skills and not knowing how to properly express emotions.

K now onto these goobers. Rybaru and Olivia (Osana but I changed her name) Olivia is still the love interests childhood best friend but isn’t necessarily a tsundere. Her parents recently split up so she has been acting out a lot. As noticed by her other bestie Rybaru who still is extremely skilled in martial arts, and yes the whole stalking story is still cannon but there’s actually a suitor role put into it. By that I mean Rybaru kicks this guys butt and boom sappy sapphics and Osana out of the way. Gonna update when I get more rivals, also most of the rivals can only be eliminated in a pacifist way because the love interest’s mental health is a key role.

#Yandere Simulator #rewrite #character redesign #Ayano Aishi #Ryoba Aishi #Osana Naijimi #Rybaru Femetsu #also I didn’t ship Osana and Raibaru before but I figured why not and make a cute couple out of it that you see the rest of the game #Art #Tumbr #Tumblr Art #artists of tumblr #small artist

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thehollowprince · 5 months

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The Actor Who Played Jar Jar Binks Is Proud of His ‘Star Wars’ Legacy

Ahmed Best recalls the painful backlash to the “Phantom Menace” character that was considered a racial stereotype at the time but is now embraced by fans.

Ahmed Best is a futurist, an educator, a martial artist, a writer-director, and the actor behind Jar Jar Binks, the most hated character in the “Star Wars” universe.

Long-eared Jar Jar is a bipedal amphibianlike creature with an ungainly walk and a winning attitude. The groundbreaking, computer-generated goofball debuted in the first installment of George Lucas’s prequel trilogy, “Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace,” and instantly set off widespread criticism from both fans and the press.

“It took almost a mortal toll on me. It was too much,” Best recently recalled. “It was the first time in my life where I couldn’t see the future. I didn’t see any hope. Here I was at 26 years old, living my dream, and my dream was over.”

Now 50, Best is the picture of panache who could easily be mistaken for an off-duty rock star. He arrived at our interview, riding a motorcycle and wearing a blue denim jacket, black jeans, and stylish shades.

In the presence of Best’s self-assured demeanor, it’s even more shocking to learn that back in 1999, the vitriol fans flung at Jar Jar and, in turn, at him, ravaged his mental health. But he revisited these memories a few weeks before the movie’s return to theaters on Friday to commemorate the 25th anniversary of its release.

Two constellations, “Star Wars” and “Star Trek,” nurtured Best’s curiosity for both science and the arts as a child in the South Bronx. The 1977 “Star Wars” (Episode IV) was the first movie he ever saw in a cinema. Back then, being part of the intergalactic saga seemed unfathomable.

Twenty years later, Best was performing in “Stomp,” the theater show where performers communicate through rhythm and acrobatics, when Robin Gurland, the casting director on “Phantom Menace,” attended a performance in San Francisco. She had spent months conducting an exhaustive search for the actor who could embody Jar Jar’s physicality. That evening, she found him.

“There was just something so electrifying about his performance; it was natural and innovative,” Gurland said by phone. “I couldn’t take my eyes off of Ahmed.”

“What if you were from this other planet, totally different from anything we know? How would you move?” Gurland recalled asking Best during his audition at Skywalker Ranch. “He got it immediately and was able to just create this being out of thin air.”

Doug Chiang, the design director on “Phantom Menace,” remembered Lucas describing Jar Jar as a combination of the silent comedy stars Harold Lloyd, Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton. Lucas ruled out a puppet for the alien creature, Chiang said, but still needed Jar Jar to appear grounded in reality to hold up against live actors onscreen.

“Even though this was a synthetic character, created out of ones and zeros, George wanted it to have a lot of expression,” Chiang said via video call. “The actor component was absolutely critical.”

Commonplace now, motion capture, the process of recording a person or object’s movement to serve as the basis for a digital entity, was mostly uncharted territory. Jar Jar became the first main character in a feature film created this way, though initially, the filmmakers didn’t know if it would work.

When Best landed the part as well as the separate assignment to voice the character — providing a playful take he often used with his younger cousins — he thought “it was surreal,” he recalled, adding with a laugh, “I was like, ‘Why me?’ I wanted it, of course, and I’m glad George believed in me, a 23-year-old kid from the streets of New York.”

In Chiang’s view, “Ahmed’s role in this was very understated, and it’s heartbreaking that he didn’t receive the attention and accolade because Jar Jar was a breakthrough character.”

Best spent the better part of two years working with Lucas and Industrial Light & Magic; his acting provided the physical element for the foundational software Lucasfilm created for performance capture. “I’m not Jar Jar. We are Jar Jar,” Best said, crediting the numerous artists involved at different stages of the character’s development.

But during filming, Best had doubts about the role. He credits co-star Ewan McGregor, who played Obi-Wan Kenobi, with helping him embrace Jar Jar’s inherent silliness. Best was on set with the rest of the cast, performing while wearing a suit and headpiece that resembled Jar Jar’s final look

“In one of the first scenes we shot, I was having a hard time with the line ‘Weesa going home!’ because it didn’t feel right to me,” Best recalled. “And then Ewan said, ‘But how does it feel to Jar Jar?’ That’s when I thought, ‘I’m going to take my ego out of this.’”

When he saw the final rendering of Jar Jar onscreen, he was taken aback. “I was up there, and I wasn’t up there at the exact same time,” Best said. “Jar Jar moved like me, and that was just a very odd feeling.”

Unfortunately, Jar Jar was a pioneering character in more ways than one. Critics said the character was a collection of racial stereotypes, “a Rastafarian Stepin Fetchit,” as The Wall Street Journal described him. One complaint was Jar Jar’s accent, which some perceived as derived from Jamaican patois.

“Everybody talks about Jar Jar’s accent,” said Best, who is of West Indian descent. “I read exactly what George wrote. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t an accent.”

“Back in the day, Chewbacca was seen as the Black character,” he continued. “And then Yoda was ridiculed for being an Asian stereotype. Then, the Neimoidians were ridiculed for being an Asian stereotype. ‘Star Wars’ has had a history of being a lightning rod. That’s because it’s so successful.”

No matter the context, the onslaught of negative reactions in the nascent online forums of the late ’90s, as well as in traditional media, drove him to consider suicide, he said.

Looking back now, Best said Jar Jar “was probably also the first cyber-bullied pop culture character ever.” In his view there were other factors that contributed to the barrage, including racism among fans, something another “Star Wars” performer, Kelly Marie Tran, called out in 2018 when she endured online harassment. (He said he related to “Kelly Marie for sure. She’s a phenomenal actor” and the way she was treated was “completely unwarranted.”)

“There are a lot of people who want to see Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Darth Vader for the rest of their lives, and they don’t realize that ‘Star Wars’ is changing,” Best said. He noted that the “Star Wars” franchise had yet to have a movie centered on a Black protagonist and added with a laugh, “I’m available.”

But worse than the ceaseless public scrutiny was learning that his role had been dramatically reduced for the two sequels, “Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith.”

“As an artist, you want the respect from your peers, and I felt as if I was being scaled back because I didn’t do a good job,” he said. “It really hurt. Everybody was running away from me, including the people that I gave two years of my life to.”

Finding acting work post-“Star Wars” proved nearly impossible. The first hurdle was proving he had been in the movies: “When I’d tell people what I did as Jar Jar, they would be like, ‘That’s just animation. I don’t see your face, so how do I know it was you?’” Best recalled. “And I’d say, ‘No, it was me. I’m an actor; it’s called motion capture.”

He admitted that even all these years later he remained hesitant to talk with journalists about that time. “It’s such a cultural phenomenon, and there are few Black voices in ‘Star Wars,’ so I feel that I’m partially obliged to keep my voice out there,” he said.

Since those dark days, Best has diversified his ambitions. He’s an adjunct lecturer at the University of Southern California’s School of Dramatic Arts, where he teaches filmmaking for actors. At Stanford University’s d.school, he has taught a class revolving around Afrofuturism, a subject that informs his belief that an optimistic future is possible through the combination of narrative art and technology.

“Jar Jar represents the possibility that whatever you got in your head, creatively, we can invent a future where this thing exists,” he said. “Just because no one has done it before, doesn’t mean it can’t be done.”

Throughout the years, Jar Jar hasn’t entirely left Best’s life. The actor has voiced the character in video games and in animated shows like “Star Wars: The Clone Wars.”

“It’s big, and it tends to overtake your life,” Best said. “The thoughts I’ve had were, ‘Who am I outside of this?’ Because as an artist, you don’t want to be locked into one thing.”

More recently, he’s rejoined the “Star Wars” universe in his own body, as the warrior teacher Kelleran Beq on the children’s show “Jedi Temple Challenge” and in an episode of “The Mandalorian.”

“This is going to sound really corny, please forgive me, but it felt like coming home,” Best said.

Despite the baggage, Best never stopped loving Jar Jar. When he meets fans — on the rare occasions that he agrees to appear at conventions — Best has noticed it’s usually young children, people with disabilities and those who have been ostracized who identify most with Jar Jar. “He’s misunderstood, but Jar Jar’s heart is so pure,” he said.

At the time of the backlash, Lucas assured Best that Jar Jar’s target audience — who were kids and for whom the character would become a fond childhood memory — would eventually come to his defense. “He was right,” Best said. “It’s a different story now.”

Witness the reception for Best in 2019 at “Star Wars” Celebration, an event dedicated to the franchise, when fans welcomed him with thunderous applause. “It really warmed my heart to see him get that,” Chiang recalled.

Heart comes up a lot when Best’s name is mentioned.

Dave Filoni, the chief creative officer of Lucasfilm and a writer on “The Mandalorian,” described him as “a unique talent, and no one can replicate what he brings through his performance as Jar Jar. There is comedy, but also a lot of heart.”

And Best takes solace in the role he’s played behind the scenes as well. He noted that the software developed through his work as Jar Jar became central to the creation of future C.G.I. characters.

“I’m in there,” Best said. “You can’t have Gollum without Jar Jar. You can’t have the Na’vi in ‘Avatar’ without Jar Jar. You can’t have Thanos or the Hulk without Jar Jar. I was the signal for the rest of this art form, and I’m proud of Jar Jar for that, and I’m proud to be a part of that. I’m in there!”

#glad he's living his best life #ahmed best #jar jar binks #kelleran beq #star wars: the phantom menace #star wars #the new york times

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mbti-notes · 1 year

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Anon wrote: INFJ. I experienced childhood trauma (verbal, emotional, physical, sexual) and have a lot of difficulty with learning due to issues with concentration and memory. I also have issues with emotional dysregulation and poor sleep. I've received C-PTSD as a diagnosis, with BPD traits (I think something in the ballpark of BPD may run in my family).

During conversations I'm often only really attending to 10-50% of what is said but can usually interpolate due to redundancy. However, during technical lectures or other situations with much lower redundancy, I'm totally lost. I believe this is one factor preventing me from achieving my full potential. In my current state I'm still capable of making a good living and living a comfortable life, but I know there is far more I can achieve.

In the near term I plan to focus on Fe/Ti - emotional intelligence, social skills, and also developing Ti expertise in a specific topic aligned with my Ni vision via the right set of Fe commitments and collaborations - while sidestepping the poor concentration issue for now. I can see that sufficient prior expertise (Ti) on a conversation/lecture topic also helps to compensate for the concentration issues. You gave me similar advice (let Ti do the heavy lifting) a couple years ago.

However, in the long run, if I really want to achieve my full potential, I can see that I'll need to directly address my concentration difficulties and other ways in which I believe trauma has stalled Se development.

Do you have any thoughts on how to restore my ability to be present and learn more effectively? As of now, as part of my general healing process, I'm focusing on building healthy interpersonal relationships (likely just platonic in the near future, in part because I'm not sure if I'm currently capable of having sex), emotional regulation, learning how to drive (which I've avoided due to my poor concentration, but maybe I'll be forced to improve out of necessity), and martial arts.

I may also undergo physical therapy to be able to get a Pap smear done (as of now it's seemingly not possible due to anxiety). I also believe that the memories of the worst trauma are repressed, and am considering psychedelics and EMDR to uncover and process these memories, which perhaps could be necessary to fully heal and address my concentration and memory issues.

I've had very poor experiences with psychiatry and clinical psychology (misdiagnosis, gaslighting, fraud, and shocking levels of incompetence) so am not super eager to engage with that system again, though I'm reading the DBT manual currently and also deriving my own personal principles for emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness (the latter I find to be easier, likely due to my Se issues).

I know you're likely going to say that I should consult a mental health professional, but I respect your judgment way more than any of the ones I've worked with. Also, an implicit assumption I'm making here is essentially equating focus/concentration/memory with Se, which may be inaccurate. Finally, I can't thank you enough for this blog. It's been lifechanging, to say the least.

Also, another assumption here is that trauma is the cause of the concentration and memory issues - that's my current hypothesis but I could certainly be wrong. My mom (who I think also has BPD traits) frequently complains about her difficulty concentrating. It's possible she also experienced trauma, or maybe it's genetic. No one has been willing to diagnose me with ADHD due to no evidence of learning issues in childhood. BPD dissociation could ultimately be the best explanation.

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Poor concentration is a lot like a sore throat, in that it can be a symptom of a great many things. By itself, it doesn't tell you a lot. The underlying cause could be relatively simple like poor physical health, or it could be a psychological issue like C-PTSD, or it could be a very complicated combination of factors working together, each needing their own solution. Let's unpack:

1) Physical Health: Brain functioning is heavily dependent upon physical health. Without a healthy body to support the brain, you won't possess enough energy and will to perform the executive function tasks you need for self-management and self-improvement. You mentioned poor sleep. A well-rested mind is essential for good concentration and quality sleep is essential for efficient memory consolidation.

Your brain is a physical object that requires physical care and maintenance. Without a nutritious diet, quality sleep, adequate exercise and blood flow, and proper stress/illness management, brain operation suffers. Therefore, improving mental health should always begin with improving your physical habits, establishing healthy physical routines, and maintaining work-life balance. Improving physical health also goes a long way to improving emotional regulation.

2) Mental Health: Yes, trauma can interfere with focus and memory operations, but this doesn't mean it's the cause, so I wouldn't be so quick to jump to that conclusion. Focus and memory issues aside, it is generally important to your well-being to be mentally healthy, so you need to address your mental health issues in a timely manner.

You mention three issues: C-PTSD due to a history of abuse, BPD traits, and emotional dysregulation. It's often the case that these three things are interrelated, but it's important to know for sure by getting properly checked out by a mental health professional.

There is a good chance that DBT will be an effective treatment for these three issues because it teaches you how to manage emotions better. But I suggest that you work with a DBT specialist rather than go it alone. The presence of BPD traits makes it likely that you have difficulty being objective about yourself, so going it alone could inadvertently lead you straight into Ti loop if you're not careful (assuming you're not already there). Due to the necessity of Fe development, it is vital that you have an objective person to reflect important truths back to you.

Every profession has its fair share of duds and bad apples. Not everyone graduates with honors, after all. I understand that you've had negative experiences with professionals and I can only reiterate that it's important to keep shopping around until you find the right fit. Being much more specific about the problem/issue you want to address can help you narrow down the search.

3) Learning and Improvement: You are drawn to my blog and its ideas about type development. While lack of presence may be an indication of Se misuse, the solution isn't as simple as developing Se. You're not anywhere near ready to develop the inferior function, and fixating on it is likely to be harmful.

In INFJs, lack of presence isn't directly caused by Se. It's more likely to be related to maladaptive Fe. When INFJs aren't able to handle the intense feelings and emotions that Fe opens them up to, they tend to develop a habit of detaching from the world and retreating into their own self-created world through Ni-Ti loop. Detachment means you separate yourself from reality, and lack of presence is one common symptom of that.

You can't be fully present and learn well when you're not learning for the sake of learning but rather treat learning merely as a means to some other, more unconscious end. When there's a lot happening in the unconscious, especially if you have a long running habit of repressing feelings and emotions, you're being driven by dark forces. If this is true for you, your real potential isn't to be found in learning or "intelligence" but rather in honesty and becoming more self-aware, i.e., facing up to the things that haunt you, which goes back to point #2 about getting proper therapy to address your trauma.

You seem very motivated to improve yourself and your life, which is generally a good thing. However, this motivation should be closely examined in INFJs because they often suffer from perfectionism and use "self-improvement" to feed unhealthy control issues. In other words, their motives can be suspect. You say you're not living up to your "full" potential, e.g., you should be able to focus better, be more present, remember more, perform better, etc, but is this really true? Says who? Who is the one defining this notion of "potential"? What are you really aiming for and why? What does "full" mean, i.e., at what point does it end?

At some point, if you ever hope to be at peace, you have to accept the reality of your limitations and be content in who you are, as is. Are you happy with yourself and who you are? Is your quest for self-improvement motivated by love of yourself, love of life, and love of others? Or is it fueled by ego, illusion, insecurity, guilt, shame, or self-loathing? It is very important to answer these questions honestly. Attempting self-improvement with unconscious intentions can lead to undesirable consequences. It sounds like you're trying to do way too much at once, which is usually a warning sign. Biting off more than you can chew is a very good way to choke.

Your thinking is messy and confused. You've taken the above three points and mashed them together. Despite what you believe about them being related, they are distinct issues that each need proper attention. I've separated them out for you and numbered them in order of importance. Slow down, prioritize the issues in the right order, and take things one SMALL step at a time.

#infj #ti loop #focus #concentration #presence #memory #learning #trauma #mental health #ask

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