#best story instance in the game so far

[clearlitebergaming]

(flow.mp3 stops) 

current banner for this blog, drawn after finishing endwalker never got over how subtly comical it is where WoL was basking in aetherial peace after meteion soars to the sky while Flow plays somber hope, “{good game}” they thought to themself, closing their eyes.

...then the camera pans revealing zenos in the background.

WoL: “...fuck”

[sheeshiki]

if anything is going to happen to her i'll kill everyone in my party and then myself

[greatestexpectationss]

Poison Ivy

Luke Castellan x Fem!Daughter of Persephone Reader

Description: You've been best friends with Luke Castellan since you were 14 years old. Now you teeter on the edge of something more, but your jealousy causes you to question everything.

You’re a child of Persephone, one of the far and few in between. Your mother had claimed you an entire year after you’d arrived at camp. Chiron had claimed it was to protect you from Hades' wrath,  but you’d had a sickly feeling it was more than that. Children of Persephone are all springtime and warmth, and perhaps you are in the light of day but in the cover of the night, there is something else that claws at you. You are more winter than spring.

Your dad says its normal to feel disconnected from your mother at this age, but you don’t just feel disconnected you feel abandonded.

You’d never met your mother but you're so so angry with her.

Being the daughter of the goddess of spring came with expectations. You are loyal and kind, with a bit of a wild side. Your powers had manifested as chlorokinesis, you're particularly fond of plants, much like the children of Demeter, but you've got a hardness they don't have, a certain darkness only a child of the underworld could understand. You’d learned that on your quest, where you’d even able to speak and command hellhounds.

There was more to you than meets the eye.

For instance, your infamous knack for growing poison ivy around those who piss you of. It had earned you a loving nickname from Luke…

“Poison” he’d called you after a particularly nasty sprouting during a game of capture the flag when you were just 14 years old. It had been Luke’s first game at camp, some Ares boys were terrorizing him up in the trees, when you’d seen it you felt bad for him. Everyone knew the story of how Luke and Annabeth had arrived at camp with Grover and what had been sacraficed to get there or rather who. You’d come to his rescue, sprouting poison Ivy from nothing wrapping it around their legs and taking them out of the game in one fail swoop with your daggers.

They glared at you for weeks.

It had started a long-lasting friendship between you and Luke. You two were close, and you helped him out in the Hermes cabin a lot. You trained together, ate together, really you did everything together. Luke understands the burning anger that sits beneath the surface of your skin. He knows the warmth and brightness you radiate during the days, but he also knows the bitter darkness that hides within you.

Luke sees you under your mask and still he stays.

Maybe that's why you’d fallen so hard for him.

It was hard not to fall for Luke. He’s all tall, dark and handsome. He’s the best swordsman this camp has seen in 300 years, he radiates confidence and commands respect. But even without all of that everyone loves Luke. It's hard not to, really. He’s kind and brave. It’s no wonder the Aphrodite girls are so enamored with him, really most girls are.

Sometimes you’d catch him looking at you with this funny soft look in his eyes. His touch would linger longer than necessary when helping you during archery practice, and he’d laugh a little too loudly at your jokes, and give you that rare goofy grin when he finds you in a room full of people.

It’s in those moment you’d wonder if he feels the same way. When his words are just for you, when he drags you by your hand to the dock and lays down beside you to look at the starts. When he kisses you cheek before the both of you return to the cabin, when he peeks over the side of your bunk and whispers the sweetest goodnight.

But then there are times you think you're delusional.

Like tonight for instance.

You're sitting at the post capture the flag bonfire with a few of your friends. Selina from Aphrodite, Clarisse from Ares, Katie, from the Demeter cabin, and Juliette from Athena. The Apollo kids are singing and you're in a particularly good mood from winning. But then you look across the fire and Luke has a pretty Aphrodite girl dotting on him, Haley, you think her name is. She’s whispering in his ear, perfectly painted nails wrapped around his forearm.

She's the type of girl Luke deserves.

Juliette's finger snaps in front of your face drawing you away from your pity party. You sit on the bottom step of the bleachers with a leg on either side. Facing you is Juliette, up a step to your right sits Selina, Katie, and Clarisse.

“Hello earth to Y/N, anyone in there??” Clarisse asks, your eyes snap to her and bounce between the others, they all look ammused.

“Sorry,” you mumble cheeks heating in embarsement.

They all look over your head where you’d been staring, There's a knowing look that is shared between them before they looking back at you with a mix of exasperation, ammusment, and pity.

You don't know which one is worse.

“C’mon you don't think Luke’s really into that chick do you?” Katie asks you.

“That chicks name is Haley,” Silena reminds, before reaching out and squeezing you hand, “and Katie’s right everyone knows Luke’s crazy for you, I don't know why she's even bothering.”

Clarisse scoffs and cracks her knuckles, “I can kick both their asses if you want.”

This draws a laugh from you.

“Hey, there she is!” Juliette exclaims, pinching your cheek, you swat her hands away and roll your eyes, the pity is leaving your body but you're still left with the bitter taste of jealousy.

“We’re just friends,” is what you settle with, earning an eye roll from all four of your friends.

“We are!” you insist, running a hand through your hair, “He can flirt with whoever he wants.”

“Y/N, do you think we’re dumb?” Clarisse asks.

“What? No of course I don’t—”

“Well then you know you can’t lie to us,” Katie says, she's much kinder than Clarisse who stares at you expectantly. A classic daughter of Demeter, she reaches for your hand and squeezes. You close your eyes for a second and sigh before looking back over at Luke. The Aphrodite girl is sitting closer to him now, he's nodding along to something she's said. You look away quickly.

“Katie’s right, and as a daughter of Aphrodite I can tell you without a doubt Castellan is just as crazy for you as you are him,” Silena’s so sure of herself, you wish you could feel that confident, you wish you knew how he felt.

“Yeah well it sure doesn't seem that way,” you gesture towards where they’re sitting. Across from you Juliette hums.

“Maybe he’s confused,” she says

“Or maybe Haley just doesn't know how to take a hint” Clarisse grumbles. You sigh and swing your leg over the bleachers before standing up.

“Where are you going?” Katie asks, brow furrowed.

“I just need some air,” you say.

“Y/N we’re literally outside,” Clarisse quips, you glare at her.

“Figurative air,” you say, gesturing wildly around you, away from all of this.”

You're much too aware of how pathetic this all is, you pining in a corner with your friends and Luke across the way with a pretty girl who deserves him. You're not some scorned lover, you're just a sad teenage girl.

“Do you want me to come?” Juliette asks you. She's such a good friend, fiercely loyal, they all are really, and you're incredibly thankful for them.

You wave her off anyway, “I’ll be fine, I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

Your friends say their goodbyes, not before reminding you for the thousandth time about the small party in the Aphrodite cabin later that evening.

If you'd been paying attention you'd have noticed Luke’s boredom, you’d have noticed his eye that always seemed to follow you.

It’s darker as you get further away from the bonfire, you don't mind, the few lanterns lighting the path to the lake give you enough light that you can at least see where you're going. When you arrive at the lake, you're thankful no one else has had the same idea. You can't even count the number of times you've snuck away with Luke only to find numerous couples making out.

Tonight there's no one, maybe because it had been a particularly rough game of capture the flag, or maybe because the usual suspects (aka Chris and Clarisse) are still at the bonfire.

You make your way toward the end of the dock before sitting down, feet dangling off the edge you lean back on your hands and lift your head back to look at the stars. Around you the only sound is nature, and very far off in the distance, you can hear the faintest sound of the Apollo kids singing. Their voices echo and combine with the sounds of the trees.

It would be peaceful if you weren't so miserable.

“There you are.”

You open your eyes and turn your head over the shoulder. Luke’s approaching you with that goofy grin on his face and a sweatshirt in his hands. He pops down next to you on the dock and hands you the sweater.

“I figured you’d get cold, you didn't have a jacket at the bonfire,” he explains when you give him a confused smile.

“Oh,” you say meekly, pulling it over your head, it's much too big for you and it smells like Luke and kind of makes you want to cry. Still, you tell him thank you. His smile drops a little when you don't say anything else.

“You wanna tell me what's wrong Poison?” he asked gently, nudging your shoulder with his. You pick at the sleeves of his sweater, eyebrows furrowed, but hearing the concern in his voice you manage a small smile.

“Nothing’s wrong, I'm just tired,” you excuse. You meet his eyes and you can tell he doesn't believe you.

“Y/N—”

“Seriously, I'm good, thank you for checking on me, and thank you for your jacket but you should go back I'm sure Haley is wondering where you are and I'm really okay,” you promise. He’s got the goofy grin on his face again and he lets out a breathy laugh.

“Are you laughing at me?” you asked annoyed. He’s still smiling like he knows something you don't, he's enjoying this.

“What?”

“You're jealous,” you go wide-eyed eyes at his declaration, but you recover quickly with a scoff.

"I am not jealous," you deny, your voice gives you away when it quivers on the last syllable of your sentence. Luke’s grin only grows.

"Yeah okay Poison," he throws an arm over your shoulder, "whatever you say."

I’m going to push him into the lake, you think to yourself. 

You don’t, instead, you settle for pushing his arm off of your shoulder.

"Whatever, I’m outta here," you say before promptly standing up and storming up the dock. You've got tears in your eyes you're thankful he didn't see. You can hear him laughing and calling for you but you don't turn around. You know he's not doing it to be mean, Luke's got a thing for teasing you, and you know he thinks that's what this is.

It doesn't make the sting of it any less.

Luke's got long legs, and you can hear him scrambling after you calling your name. You ignore him up the dock and the sand before he stops you stepping in your path.

"C'mon Poison I know I'm hard to resi–" he stops when he sees the tears in your eyes and you turn your face away from him. His brows furrow in concern when he realizes you don’t think it's funny. He reaches for you again but you take a step back and cross your arms over your chest. 

"Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong"

"You're crying"

"So?"

He looks at you like you've sprouted 8 heads.

 "What do you mean so??" You pinch the bridge of your nose, you've seriously had enough of him playing dumb. "Can you just drop it please?" you beg, shifting on your feet and wiping furiously at your eyes before any tears can actually fall from your waterline. 

But he's Luke and your Y/N and you should know by now he's not gonna drop it.

"Wait," he hums taking a step closer to you and prying your crossed arms away from the safety of your body, he holds both of your hands with his own and presses them to his chest, you've got nowhere to hide. Finally, he asks, "Were you actually jealous?"

His tone is softer this time, it holds no teasing just a gentleness you can't quite describe. You don't know if it’s pity or fondness, you're not sure which answer scares you more. You still can’t look him in the eyes.

"No–"

"Y/N, c'mon don't lie to me."

You huff in response. He steps even closer to you. 

"Last week Lee Fletcher was helping you at archery practice," he says finally, you look at him now, his grin is gone but the soft smile he’s giving you, makes you feel like he’s going to let you down easy. He’s going to use Lee as a buffer, say it's clear there's something there when it's nothing. You feel for Lee the kind of platonic love you wish you felt for Luke. 

What you feel for Luke is world-changing and gut-wrenching.

"Okay,” is all you can say, you try to step away again but Luke just grips your hands a little tighter.

“Just let me finish,” he pleads, you nod your head and avoid direct eye contact with him, instead you focus on his dark hair, the dark curls that shine under the moonlight. If he notices you aren’t looking him in the eye, he’s at least nice enough not to say anything about it. 

"He said something to you, I wasn't close enough to hear what it was but it had you cracking up and laughing in the best way," Luke takes his thumb and stokes the corner of your mouth, "you get a little dimple right here when you laugh did you know that?"

You didn't, you also didn't even know he had been there that day. You don't even remember what Lee said that had made you laugh, something about your aim.

"What's your point?" you mumble, his touch on your face is searing and his other hand has moved to your waist, you can feel the burn of his skin through your (his) jacket. You finally cave and meet his eyes, he’s looking at you with such softness you think you might melt on the spit. You're not stupid either, you know what this is. But you need to hear him say it, or you might actually die.

"I was jealous," he shrugs, like it's no big deal, thumb tracing up your check to tuck a stray hair behind your ear before dragging it down to cup your face. "I didn't have any reason to be but I was.” 

Then with that goofy grin he says, “Kinda sounds like someone else I know."

You’re smiling at him now, you both know this is teetering far too close to the edge to come back from now. In fact, even without him saying it, without kissing him, you don’t think you could ever come back from this.

"Why?" you ask him, hands coming to rest at the nape of his neck, you play with the strings of his camp necklace to distract yourself from the lessening distance between the two of you. He’s dipping his head closer to you, so close that if he speaks your lips will touch. You want him to kiss you in a way you’ve never wanted anything before.

"You know why." And then he's kissing you. His arm around your waist tightens instinctively, and he presses his lips to yours hungrily, like a starved man who's just arrived at a feast. Your hands drop his necklace and weave through the shorter hair at the nape of his neck, something akin to a sigh of relief floods through both of you. His hand is in your hair now, and he tasted of marshmallows and spearmint, something so distinctly Luke. It’s incredibly intoxicating you don’t want to pull away. And you don’t until you absolutely have to in order to catch your breath, Luke chases after your lips with his own. Kissing them softly once, and then twice, before pulling back and looking at you with a smile on his face. This time you return it, a little laugh escapes your lips before it grows louder.

“Alright now who’s laughing at who?” he grumbles, still smiling despite his tone, his thumb strokes your dimple, and it allows you to compose youself. 

“I’m sorry,” you say reaching up to kiss him softly again. He’s smiling still, so you know you haven’t really offended him. “I just kinda feel like an idiot now,” you admit. 

“Well you are one,” he tells you cheekily, squezzing your sides with both hands in the way he knows you both adore and detest, you squeal and stumble into him, gripping onto his biceps in attempts to get him to stop. “You’re absolutely the dumbest person alive if you think there’s any world that I would wanna do this with anyone else.”

“Really?” you ask.

“Really,” he confirms. You reach up and kiss him again, a little more searing than sweet. Both of Luke’s hands are back in your hair and he’s kissing you back just as fervently, you feel his tongue slip in your mouth, and you swear you’ve died and gone to heaven. It’s Luke who pulls away this time, gasping for air. 

“I think I might be in love with you,” he admits.

“Yeah, I think I might be in love with you too.”

Suddenly you both hear footsteps approaching quick and heavy, Clarisse stops in front of you both and takes in your dishelved appearance, before rolling her eyes and yelling.

“Guys I found them! You all owe me $20!” she calls out to what you assume to be your group of friends.

“Clarisse what the hell?” you mutter stepping away from Luke reluctantly. Chris comes barelling out of the forest, tripping over shrubbery. Luke pouts at the loss of contact

“They were making out?” he pouts to Clarisse who gestures towards you both as if to say well just look at them! then Chris turns to you and Luke, “You guys couldn’t have waited like one more day?”

You laugh as Luke whacks him upside the head. The four of you begin making your way towards the rest of your friends and the Aphrodite cabin where the party (which is so not a party) is. Your girlfriends squeal and Luke’s friends cringe. Luke throws his arm around your shoulder, "All good Poison?" he ask.

"I'm good, how are you?" he laughs and kisses your head.

"Never better."

You look up at him fondly and kiss the bottom of his scar as the two of you enter the cabin with the rest of your friends.

Across the room, Haley pouts with her siblings, but you don’t notice. You’re too enamored with Luke, the boy you’ve loved for as long as you can remember. The boy who loves you back.

[numberonetrashwitch]

Some observations about Baldurs Gate 3 that hit too close to home.

After another few runs i will probably just make an in-Depth Character Analysis for every character simply because they are good reflections of actual trauma-manifestations and how abuse can manifest in people. They are also so well written that it serves a narrative purpose to explore all the material that is out there about them. I am also personally cursed with actual medically-relevant levels of Empathy and Hyperfixation; so writing this helps me put a pin in it and move on.

But so far here are my highlights

(SPOILERS and obviously content warning bc these are deep)

before you ask; i have almost 300h in this game.

You have to convince Shadowheart to eat the Noblestalk. She actually stells you she rather get her memories back from Shar but when you hit the persuasion or intimidation (what the fuck) check to get her to eat it she'll tell you about her childhood friend. Not her name, not her parents but her best firend. Possibly because she has had a closer bond to that person after being abducted and indoctrinated. With her believing herself to be an orphan, she would've looked elsewhere for comfort and sought out her own family, this is why she falls hard and heavy for Shar and builds the backbone of her indoctrination. She is literally ripped out of her home & given a new identity to server her from all she has known. Religious indoctrination, Gaslighting, Abduction, being forced to let go of your personality are her main themes.

There is a scene out there floating around in which you see Astarions pespective of the night when he bites Tav for the first time, in his meditations he is confronted with the rules Cazador put on him, including that he can't eat intelligent creatures, can't be away from Cazador unless allowed to, has to obey every command and that they are should know that they are property. Which in turn means that Astarion literally didn't just have any autonomy, he was objectified (and not just through seductive/sexual measures) and that is really the crux to understanding why he doesn't believe in kindness, but rather shows self-serving behavior in most cases. Since we know that Astarion was extremely young for an elf before he died and became immortal (literally stopping the aging /maturing process) it is also very telling that Cazador constantly calls him brat, boy or other very juvanile names, refering to them as a family... well it is also the story of a very controlling parent. Themes of (Bodily) autonomy, infantilization ( & puer aeternus, forever-child), slavery, depersonalisation, corruption of life and torture to break someone.

Gale isn't just a guy hung up on his Ex, but also a victim of abuse. In this case a power imbalance none of us can fathom; She is described as being a jealous goddess and rules over the domain of mysteries and magic. So with Gale being a Wizard, she is literally his boss. He admits that he was foolish enough to aspire to be an equal to her, but she is so jealous that she tells him he can't really be worthy as long as he takes breath. She could just take his powers away and be done with it, that would be more than enough punishment for a guy who literally made Mystra and her domain his life's purpose, but she rather makes him do it himself. Add to that, that she literally only tells him this after years of self-isolation (after he put down so many wards that he could've blown up a whole army as he says if you click the right dialogue) to really fuck him up well. He also talks about death pretty much constantly, not surprising giving your situation, but he will tell you that he will kill himself at several points in the game, for instance after he comes clear about his nethrese orb. Themes of romantic abuse, power-imbalance, toxic work enviorment, self-isolating behavior, suicidal ideation

Wyll ... well from the looks of it he is the most well adjusted of all the companions (my opinion) but he has something that i'd describe as the "eldest daughter"-syndrome, more commonly known as parentification. This pattern usually occurs within single-household parents and is commonly described as a parent looking to their child for emotional or practical support, rather than providing it to their kid. We meet Ulder and see that he talks over Wyll a lot, not listening but expecting him to follow the standard he sets for him. That is also why Wyll repeats his fathers words like gospel (because this is what, in his mind, fullfills the expectations bestowed upon him) and why he loves fairytales / bard tales so much (because they are an ecapist view of the job he set out to do) Ulder literally exiled his teenage son because Wyll did the only thing he could to save an entire city, by sacrificing himself. Thats a lot to expect from a 17 year old - even more so, he doesn't stop with the heroics. He expects himself, as a human who hasn't even reached the age of 30 to hold up to mystical creatures such as Astarion or Karlach, or even Gale who is a accomplished Wizard. Themes of parentification, escapism, self-harming through putting himself in danger, chronic-self-sacrifice

In plain words; Gortash, Karlach's Idol sold her to a Devil. But add to that that she must have been pretty young when she was sold (late teens to early twenties possibly) and being that if you play as a Tiefling, you face a lot of predjudice she was likely forced into that position as well. Starstruck she was, with a juvenile naitivy that Gortash used. Appropriately, as he is the chosen of Bane the god of "tyrannical oppression, terror, and hate, known across Faerûn as the face of pure evil through malevolent despotism" (Source: Forgotten-Realms Wiki / Bane) So she pretty much was raised in a toxic enviorment, which forced her to become a killing-machine, first figuretively, then with the extraction of her heart, literally. Themes of slavery, oppression, misuse of trust, being taken advantage by a more powerful/older(?) person, being drafted.

Jaheira - to be honest, you need to know the lore of the previous baldurs gate games or just listen to her dialouge, ask her all the questions. She is a war-veteran against Bhaal, the good of ritual murder, and has a long history of fighting to achieve some sort of balance of power. She lost her husband and several close people all to this, or any other war, but due to her wisdom and strength people look to her for guidance. Themes of: Survivors Guilt.

Halsin - he is really closed off at first but then just casually hits you with "i was captured in the underdark and spent 3 years chained to a bedroom wall by a pair of drows who used me as they pleased". He is reprimanded by some of his druids for leaving the grove as soon as opportunity struck, just to get back and leave the next day, and if you talk to him about his position in the grove he is actually very forthcomming. He actively holds himself back; indulging in simple hobbies because he knows what lies within his heart. He is afraid of himself and his potential (canonnically he can't control his wildshape, which is very weird for an ARCH-druid) Themes of: impostor syndrome, avoidant-based self-harm, sexual opression, loss of control, emotional regulation.

Lae'zel is a very tragic case, and one that closely resembles the stories of Shadowheart and Karlach. Her entire existence is based upon a matriachial war society allowing her to live if she proves she can be of use and that in a culture which only values brutality, dominance & service. All of that culimating in her finding out that her oh-so-beloved Queen is actually just an imposter, and that everything she has lived for up to that point is merely political propaganda created to make her, and the rest of her entire species, willing pawns in a war that has no longer bearing on their survival alone, but is fought to justify Vlaakith's (the reigning monarchs) personal ambitions. Not only is she forced to reconcile that she is turned into the thing that controlled her kind for hundreds of years, that the only cure she knows of would kill her and then on top of that, that her hopes and dreams were lies and that she is now the Nr 1 enemy of the person she has served with all her being. themes of: oppression, propaganda, casual violence, objectification, child-warfare, eternal warfare

Minthara in short, her story is about being shamed for growing up in the same scenario that Lae'zel grew up in. Lolth, the god of the Lolth-sworn drows is a crazy queen who values scheming & backstabbing so much and is so volatile that you can't know what to expect of your deeds (and i mean it; there were people who were appraised by her for scheming against her, but also those who were killed. It's almost random.) She considers Lolth to be cruel and abandoned her for the Absolute, only to then be used and abused the same way Lae'zel has. Not with promises, but erasing her memory and exposing her perceived weakness. Themes of: casual violence, violent culture, her own ambition colliding with her desire to be safe, being a pawn in a larger game.

[coldinternetllama]

My thoughts on Maomao and her parents

Spoilers for Maomao's backstory and maybe for some future instances in the LNs. Also this is not a proper analysis, do not expect much structure, lol

One of the saddest things to me in this story is that Maomao probably craved Fengxian's love until the very end, regardless of what she is saying. After all, who wouldn't want to feel their own mother's love, right? Maomao keeps saying that she doesn't know how to love, however I believe this is simply a coping mechanism for her. We know that she loves Luomen, her sisters, the Granny, even Xiaolan and Loulan (yes, I do think she loved them). Hell, she also has "certain affections" for our beloved red flag, as she herself states in her mind. Yet she doesn't classify any of that as love proper. Instead, she comes back to the cut tip of her pinky and repeats her favorite phrase about how she left that feeling somewhere in the past. There where she also left her mother, who is now just the woman who gave birth to her. Still, she administered Fengxian's medicine time and time again. Still she set up the perfect opportunity for Lakan to find her. Still she danced for her under the night sky with a heavily injured leg. Still she bowed to her remains and played her last game of go for her. I don't think she had it in herself to love the woman who pushed her away, but part of Maomao wanted to love her, I believe. And to be loved back. Granted, Luomen and the women at Verdigris house did their best to raise Maomao, but it wasn't enough to replace what could have been.

If anything, our dear apothecary is probably more frustrated than anything. She doesn't hate her parents, no. I would go as far as to say that she actually feels bad for them ( I mean, who wouldn't). Of course, she would never admit that, which leads to her other coping mechanism, namely her extremely abrasive language when referring to Fengxian and Lakan (come on now, breeding mare and stallion? Girl, chill). She would rather feign indifference, lest she has to confront her feelings, which is her least favorite thing to do, as we know. After all, it's these two people's feelings that got them all to that state. If even such intelligent people could make such a blunder because of feelings, why would she want to feel love or be loved? This is also reflected in the scene where she is telling Jinshi that she wants to be executed with poison. Jinshi answers that he would never execute her. Maomao's answer? It doesn't matter what he wants to do, it only matters if he CAN do it. To me, this is a direct reference to her parents' story. Lakan wanted to be with Fengxian, but couldn't. Fengxian wanted to reach out to him, but couldn't. It all ended in ruin because of that damn feeling called love. Of course, this is also why Maomao just refuses to even consider that she can love (btw, I don't mean strictly one type of love, this is a very vast and complicated feeling with many facets, and I mean all of them here). So she simply claims that she doesn't, yet her actions tell a different story.

Now, I have never been in a similar situation, so I do not claim to know what a person like Maomao would truly think and feel of this. But I think that deep down she wonders what it would have been like to have been loved without being hurt. For her cries to have been met with warmth and not with silence. For her mother to have hugged her instead of having chased her away. And maybe Fengxian wanted the same, but knew that it was not possible. Maybe she was ashamed and disappointed in herself. What good would it be for that child to love her? The child, whose destiny might turn out not too different from her own. Indeed, in the end, no matter what anyone wanted, Fengxian could only become the woman who gave birth to Maomao. And Maomao could only learn to accept that.

[pianokantzart]

Do you think that movie Princess Peach was particularly out of character compared to the games? This seems to be a common opinion, but I just don't see it. The more I play games with her either as a playable character or an NPC, game Peach seems to be everything movie Peach is: kind, headstrong, diplomatic but also willing to fight when necessary. People who know more than a cursory glance at Super Mario know that she's not helpless, so I'm not assuming that this is isn't it.

I think what threw most people off was seeing Princes Peach being so fiercely independent.

In many mainstream Mario games Peach's desperation for help is the driving force of the story. Her archetype is to be a gentle, beautiful, pitiable victim of an evil monster. She is reaching out and begging for rescue, and you alone can save her.

Yes, she's quite powerful in her own right and playable in a number of games, but actual character moments in these instances are rare, and definitely not enough to undo decades of her being the poster girl for "damsel in distress." Not to say Peach is pathetic. Her humble kingdom is easily overwhelmed, her soldiers are toddler-sized and squishy, and most of her kidnappings use the element of surprise. She's doing the best she can amidst impossible circumstances, but she's all too aware of how much she needs help.

But the movie doesn't take that route. In the movie she has been warring with Bowser on her own for years, and traveling independently to far-off places to ensure The Mushroom Kingdom doesn't get mixed up in the fight. She is confident in her own abilities, and more protector than protected.

She's not the delicate crown jewel of a vulnerable people, but a mama bear who will come at your throat if you threaten her family. The closest version of Peach I can think of that matches Movie Peach's level of grit and independence is Peach from the Super Mario Adventures comic.

But, unfortunately, those comics are not exactly part of the lexicon of the average, casual Mario enjoyer.

However, I do think this says something about how characters are subject to change depending on the medium. The Mario Movie and the Mario Adventure Comics are both narrative driven, which means that Princess Peach needs to be more than just an end goal the players feels sorry for. What works in games will not always work in a fully fleshed-out story.

With Peach being (at present) the only female in the main cast, keeping her cutesy and vulnerable while ensuring she stays part of the action would be an extremely difficult balancing act. In an isekai-style origin story where Mario is just beginning to learn how to be a hero? Even more so. So they instead make her a mentor figure, guiding Mario through the strange new world he and his brother are lost in. It's different, but it's not a bad different. Peach is still diplomatic, feminine, and empathetic, but her role as a lone royal safeguarding The Mushroom Kingdom makes a touch more sense on paper.

All I ask is that she keep her tea parties and cake baking.

[project-sekai-facts]

How are we feeling about ensekai’s emu3 translation!!! (I’m mad)

(if you remember the 3 whole posts i made when asahi got de-gayed on EN you'll know i am mad too and that this is probably going to get long)

i don't like to be too cynical but it was so obvious that they were going to change that line, i had a feeling since the event first released on JP and after the incident with Asahi where I went through and tracked down multiple other examples of EN removing queer subtext it became clear to me that in no way shape or form was "emu-chan really loves nene-chan" making it to EN without getting changed. what i didn't expect was them changing Nene's line after Luka's comment, which actually makes this whole situation far worse than many of their other instances of toning down queer subtext.

for anyone who isn't aware of what happened, in chapter 5 of the current Emu event, there's a scene where Nene, Rui and the Virtual Singers are talking about what would cheer Emu up. The vsingers all talk about how much Emu loves spending time with Nene, leading to the following exchange

If you look for them, any fan TL of this scene will be something similar to this:

Luka: ...Fufu. Emu-chan really loves Nene-chan, doesn't she? Nene: Th-that's nothing special...

EN's official translation is this:

So what's the issue? I'll start with Luka's part. In the original text, she uses the word daisuki, which can mean to "like a lot" or "love". It's a word you will see frequently in the idol/idol-adjacent genre of games, due to its ambiguity in that it can be read as either platonic or romantic when used towards a person, and often will be used in ambiguous situations so that it's harder to confirm the writers' intentions either way. so here, fans of the emu/nene ship could view the fact that emu loves spending her time with nene as more on the romantic side, but people who don't like the ship could view it as platonic and move on.

while they didn't translate daisuki directly, Luka's line still works, and still contains the ambiguity that works as ship tease in the original text. it's a perfectly fine localisation that still conveys the original intent. despite that, there is something to be said about EN's consistent refusal to translate daisuki as love in most instances when it's not used on An/Kohane (but then again, EN has literally teased An/Kohane on their twitter account so is it all that surprising?).

Here's some examples:

Aibou no koto ga daisuki de / he loves his partner -> he cares about his partner very much (The Power of Unity chapter 7 when Kaito is comparing Arata to Akito and Toya)

HARUKA-CHAN, DAISUKI DAYOOOO!!! / HARUKA-CHAN, I LOOOOOVEEE YOU!!! -> You're the best!!! (Dear Me, As I Was Back Then chapter 4 when minori is at an ASRUN concert. this one isn't actually that great of a localisation)

Honachan no koto daisuki dakara. Kore de iinda yo. / I love Honachan, so this is fine. -> I want what's best for her. And this is it. (Leo/need main story chapter 14 after Saki tells Honami she won't bother her anymore)

Minna daisuki de - taisetsuna tomodachi na no / I love them all - they're my dearest friends -> They're all amazing, and very dear to me. (Leo/need main story chapter 17. this isn't good either)

What's particularly amusing about that last one is that there's a second official translation for it that I assume was done by JP staff (since EN never promoted doing the Journey to Bloom subs like they did back when they provided subs for Petit SEKAI) that actually keeps the word daisuki as love.

Yeah. I love all my friends - and they mean the world to me.

It's a better localisation than the official EN team one.

Questionable localisation choices aside, Luka's line is fine and is actually in line with the original. The issue with this localisation very much lies with Nene's part, because that is an entirely new line.

In the original text, Nene's "that's just normal" or "that's nothing special" or however you choose to TL it, is meant to be her questioning Luka's statement, since all the things that the other vsingers said that Emu liked were pretty normal things like going shopping and playing video games with nene. To Nene, these things are normal activities for them to do together, so she gets embarrassed by the fact that Luka concludes from that information that Emu loves Nene. When I dissect it like that I think you can really tell what the writers were going for here lol.

"That's just us being friends" does still convey the idea that Nene thinks these activities aren't anything out of the ordinary and she isn't sure why the vsingers are picking these out as some of Emu's favorite things to do, but it's very different from the original line. "But those are just normal things we do together" is something I just came up with on the spot, but it's a lot closer to the original text and still conveys the same meaning. The fact they changed the line to "that's just us being friends" is, honestly, not even subtle that they're covering up queer subtext. The original scene was very clearly written in as ship tease, and EN mentioning "friends" for no reason, especially since the word nor anything close to it was not used in the original, is instantly a red flag because it's like the go-to for queerbaiting and censorship. This was intentional. There was no need for them to specify that the relationship is platonic, Luka's part is ambiguous for a reason so that fans can view it how they like.

Just to top all this off, here's Rin's original line just before that Luka+Nene interaction:

Oh, and! And! She said that playing games with Nene-chan is also super fun!

And here's Rin's line from the official EN translation:

That's not the same thing, but even more weirdly, the incorrect part (super fun->really loves) is a correct translation for the part changed in Luka's line. So, they can do it, they are willing to say "really loves", just not in the right places. Maybe because Rin's part is less personal than Luka's part? It's strange actually, this isn't the first time they've done this either. Off the top of my head I can think of an example from Shiho's Varied Kindness 2* story where they translated the word "suki" as really loves, despite that being much stronger than the original word used (and the fact that daisuki is used a lot in the Leo/need stories and it's incredibly rare if not entirely unknown for them to translate it correctly).

It's not subtle that they're trying to remove implications of the characters possibly being queer, they did it in curtain call and they did it in walk on and on, and multiple times before then too. And considering some of the content in this year's events and the amount of times they say daisuki alone, it's gonna keep happening. honestly i hate the fact that i keep trying to justify the translations in these posts. these translations are intentional. what happened in the curtain call translation back in october says enough. when a character who uses explicitly romantic language towards another guy passes as a straight character in the translation you know they're doing it on purpose.

oh and once again, it's only the EN server that has this issue. The scene in question was translated almost word-for-word on the TW and KR servers.

read fan translations. they're better than what EN gives us and people put a lot of effort into them.

[snaccpopstudios]

Hi everyone! We're here with the long awaited post on our newest bachelor, Simoun. We know you've all been abuzz with questions about him so we hope to answer some of that in this deep dive into his creation. This post is in lieu of our usual Wednesday devlogs as we've been writing this over the span of several weeks, and was co-authored, edited, and reviewed by Tobias, Jude, ToyboxToonz, Primarvelous, and Sauce. The above image was drawn by @toyboxtoonz.

You can read the full post for free on Patreon, or click the readmore to see it all!

Personally speaking, some of my concerns since Simoun's debut are thoughts like "Do people think I'm making SnaccPop Studios push an agenda?" and "Do people think I'm going through a checklist while making new characters?" It's made it difficult for us to write this quickly because this is quite personal to myself and the rest of the sensitivity consultation team on the DachaBo team.

Concept to Creation

The story of DachaBo begins way before SnaccPop Studios itself was even a concept (that's Sauce's story to tell though). Early Patreon art of Simoun exists from November 2022, back before I was signed on to manage the Patreon and any other projects besides Sunny Day Jack. Sauce had some ideas laying around for several other characters in the DachaBo universe that didn't make it into the proof-of-concept demo:

I dug up an old draft for the DachaBo cat character we teased and it featured a story concept where the cat character was originally a female DachaBo character, referencing the original female design. And overtime he got tired of how he was being treated and decided to change his own self to reflect who he wanted to be, not the sycophants who collected the toys and whatnot ... It was shelved because I didnt have the means to sensitivity check it The designs are half cooked is all but he was supposed to be Indian ethnicity coded for no other reason than I've never seen a character like that

One thing that's important to note is that there definitely are Indian folks who are gender diverse (see Hijra on Wikipedia for a quick primer on one of the traditionally recognized nonbinary genders in South Asia) so it's not a novel concept by any means, but it's also not very common in media whatsoever.

Why The Long Wait?

One of the other contributing reasons as to why Sauce wasn't able to do much with the concept at the time is because we didn't have a VA for him confirmed yet, as I explained in May:

One thing that's rather unique to SnaccPop Studios in all of my experience as a game developer is the fact that all of our series involve coordinating with Voice Actors from the start, which means we need to take the VAs themselves into account when making characters. Adding another layer of complexity in hiring is the fact that SnaccPop Studios is a strictly Erotic Adult brand focusing on masculine love interests, and even if we focus more on the softcore, there's still the unfortunate stigma that any 18+ work has when attached to your name. All of these contributing factors make the potential talent pool that much smaller. This isn't to make excuses: I know SnaccPop Studios can do better on this front. While we can't make changes to some of the existing series' main cast (we don't want to put people out of a role they've been promised), we will do better moving forward to incorporate more diverse characters into our future titles, and that's a pledge

In the field of voice acting, it's best practice to cast actors with similar backgrounds to the character they're voicing, particularly for characters from marginalized populations (ethnicity, culture, gender, etc.), because it's a recurring issue in all professions where marginalized folks are regularly turned down for employment or career opportunities. You don't have to look far for instances where other voice directors failed to cast the proper talent for a character, even in the AAA sphere where they ought to have the resources to be able to find the proper talent; at SnaccPop, we wanted to avoid that situation at all costs.

Finding Simoun's Voice

So we had to confirm a VA first before we could do anything. Sauce, Reece, and I all tried to put private ads out for a trans masc POC (any ethnicity with dark skin) actor for a R18 game, which was largely met with silence at first, then responded to by folks who didn't fit the role in a full capacity (many only hit one or two of the criteria we laid out, some of them none at all). And it's not hard to imagine why: it's common knowledge that the majority of erotic works often fetishize marginalized people who are otherwise underrepresented in mainstream media. Things such as skin color, body type, hair color, age, etc. are treated as traits to be objectified, and on the off chance that queer folks or people of color might see themselves in porn… it's usually not for the most flattering or empowering of reasons. How could we, an exclusively Adults-only studio, convince someone who isn't familiar with us that we wanted to make something for people like them rather than something that turns them into mere masturbating material?

We were almost about to give up on the Catboy until I decided to take a chance on contacting a VA whom I hadn't had any formal and proper interactions with before. I'd been a fan of his work and knew him from an audition he sent in from a previous game I had worked on, but he knew me solely by name at best since we were following each other on Twitter. Still, it was a lead, and after chewing my nails for half a day, I shot off a message to Soren Viloria.

And what do you know? He said he'd give it a shot as his first NSFW role.

Naming the Lad

Soren is a Filipino VA, and despite the fact that I myself seem to be mistaken as Filipino by other Asians quite regularly, I'm actually not as well-versed in that culture as I ought to be.

There's actually a reason why we were so secretive with Simoun's name for a while: he didn't have one yet, so internally we just kept calling him "the Catboy." We wanted to pick a culture-appropriate name for him, something that was meaningful: Soren initially suggested "Siopao" as it was a common cat name (it's a type of Filipino Steamed Bun, so think of how many pets you've seen who have names like Cupcake or Nacho Supreme), but that didn't seem serious enough for a tsundere catboy like him. A few days later, Soren did a little research on a few well-known characters from Philippine media/culture that fit the bill a bit better:

Elías from the Philippine Revolution novel Noli Me Tángere (a required reading in the Philippines). Cat may like his radical tendencies for revolution and his deep, devoted connections.

Simoun from Noli's sequel, El filibusterismo. Holds revolutionary values similar to Elías, but far less noble and more of a loner. Violent at times, and will do what it takes to get his way.

Panday/Flavio, a very popular hero. Part of his charm is that he doesn't have special powers, but took matters into his own hands and forged a magical blade. Has been portrayed in both 'cool' and comedic ways.

Ricardo "Cardo" from the Philippines' longest-running TV drama Ang Probinsyano. Just a cool action hero dude who cares about family, but is also very ambitious and angy.

Seeing as how we already had an Elias Gallagher, Simoun seemed to be the perfect fit, and the name stuck pretty easily.

Simoun's Boundaries

Now that Simoun had a name, we were able to talk about him more seriously beyond the simple "tsundere cat" tropes. You've all already met Gil Finnegan, who we originally brought into SnaccPop Studios to handle the narrative design for DachaBo but was then onboarded to help with Sunny Day Jack, and those of you in the Patreon Discord server are familiar with our mods Tobias and Jude; along with me and Soren Viloria, that brought the grand total of openly trans masculine members on the team.

We all talked about our personal experiences as trans masc/AFAB people, what things we rarely saw reflected in both mainstream and indie media, things we wanted to see more of. Something we all agreed that was difficult to find was trans masculine folks in sexually dominant roles in erotic media, whether that was live video, audio, writing, art, or a combination thereof; there was only a handful of series we could count on our fingers as far as sexually explicit content that featured trans masculine people in roles that weren't exclusively submissive/bottoms, and the majority of us had already seen those or at least heard of them before (ie. Gummy and the Doctor and Sasha From The Gym were prominent ones). Either discovering this content was difficult due to Search Engine Optimization favoring depictions of trans feminine folks, or it simply didn't exist.

All of this, along with the backstory that Sauce had for Simoun, led us to determine that Simoun would be adverse to submissive roles in intimate situations. Simoun isn't the type to want to be penetrated either due to previous trauma surrounding his gender. Bear in mind that this isn't meant to imply or suggest that there is only one "acceptable" sexual preference for trans masculine folks, nor is Simoun meant to represent all of trans masculinity; he may be our first trans masculine character but certainly isn't the last, as we hope to feature more types of characters at SnaccPop Studios.

As an aside, it should be noted that the trend of erotic trans feminine content being more readily available doesn't necessarily mean that trans women have more positive representation per se; for every kinky piece of art created by trans feminine folks out there, there could be ten more works that fetishize and objectify their bodies. We probably don't need to tell you about the common derogatory slurs that have been used to refer to them; trans feminine and trans masculine people deal with varying levels and types of transphobia as well as situations that oversexualize (or even undersexualize) them, and it's important to focus on content that doesn't strip them of their autonomy.

There actually was a period of time between the release of his concept art after Soren was onboarded where the team observed comments both on Patreon and in the Discord regarding Simoun, and we discussed how we could avoid having people try to ship Bo and Simoun together; because Simoun hasn't had bottom surgery of any kind, we wanted to ensure that tokophobia (fear of pregnancy) or dysphoria wouldn't become a thing for any of us involved in the team or for our trans masculine Patrons. It was a bit of a chicken or the egg situation, trying to keep up with the evolving comments about Simoun to try and anticipate what people might accidentally say.

Debut Day Thoughts, & Moving Forward

We were quite happy with the general reception everyone had with Simoun, and we're excited to see so many people taking a liking to Simoun after his reveal. SnaccPop Studios has always strived to provide inclusive and diverse stories for those who don't often get represented in media, much less NSFW media, and the team was quite elated to see folks who were just as happy to see Simoun.

We hope that the love and care we put into building Simoun has shone through in this post and will continue to shine as we write more of him for DachaBo, because we're just getting started.

[jadevine]

Medieval Warhorses, Repost + additions!

Since people loved my "Preindustrial travel times" post so much, I decided to repost my "Realistic warhorses" info separately from the original link, where it was a response to "how to get the feel of realistic combat."

--

The original link is here.

The "Warhorse" post on my blog, plus a recent addition, is here.

And here's the text for people who want to go down my "grown up horse-girl" rabbit hole right away!

Medieval Warhorses:

First of all: DESTRIERS WERE NOT DRAFT HORSES. Horse/military historians are begging people to stop putting their fantasy knights on Shires, Belgians, and other massive, chunky farm-horses! The best known instance of “a knight needs to get lifted onto their 18-hand draft horse” is a SATIRE (A Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, if I remember right), but somehow laymen decided to take it seriously.

Hell, I think the film’s historians knew that this was extremely inaccurate and begged the director not to do it.

--

For the purposes of this post, I will not get into the different TYPES OF WARHORSES. That is a hyper-fixation for another day, lol.

—

First problem with “Draft horses as warhorses:”

The bulk of modern-day “breeds” are far too recent for a medieval or medieval-fantasy story. Modern horse “breeds” began around the 1700s-1800s, so that’s in the EXTREMELY late-medieval/early-modern period. Before that, most medieval horses were referred to by “TYPE/PURPOSE” and maybe a “Country/Region.” “Spanish/Iberian horses” (the ancestors of modern-day Andalusians, Carthusians, and Lusitanos) were overwhelmingly popular for combat, and other baroque horses were also esteemed.

Destriers are physically average-height at 15 hands high (about 5 feet tall at the shoulder/withers), but the important part is that they are STACKED at 1200-1300lbs when most 15-hand horses are only 900-1000lbs, so that’s a quarter to a third more weight in muscle.

And remember, muscle will not make a given horse look “chubby!” Good ways to get across a warhorse’s muscles in writing is 1) how ROCK SOLID they are when you touch them, 2) their chiseled shoulders, necks, and butts, and 2) when they get into motion, especially for a fight, their muscles will flex and get REALLY defined. The three regions I mentioned are usually the most visible if they’ve got horse tack or a rider on them.

Think of the difference between “regular horse” and “destrier” as “regular Tom Hardy, who looks fit but normal,” versus “Tom Hardy playing Bane, where he put on thirty pounds and his torso and arms look like a fucking tree-trunk.”

Warhorses had nerves of steel, and the best-trained warhorses used could sprint and turn on a dime–they’ve been called “the sports cars of the medieval world.” This is a far cry from huge, sweet, and lumbering draft horses.

Besides Spanish horses, modern-day candidates for destriers would be European cobs (heavier all-purpose horses, large Welsh cobs are the best-known modern breed), and Foundation Quarter Horses (working/stock horses that can herd cattle and race and actually USE their muscles, not the bloated halter-horses who are mostly bred to look “good” to judges).

—

But if the destrier was supposed to be the horse equivalent of “Tom Hardy as Bane” and not “The Mountain from Game of Thrones,” then how could they carry a knight’s armor as well as their own?

First of all, human combat armor is different from JOUSTING armor and it is easily half the weight for better mobility. Warhorses from proper medieval times aren’t shown wearing much horse-armor, even in jousting. The stuff you see in museums is also frequently the custom-made armor for wealthy nobles, who either 1) wore it once or twice a year for public celebrations, which is also why the armor’s in pristine condition instead of dented and bloody like combat armor would be, or 2) wore it because they were rich enough to not want themselves OR their expensive horses to die too soon in combat.

Assuming that all destriers needed to carry 150lbs for an adult armored man, PLUS another 150lbs of the horse’s riding tack and armor, is like people from the years 2500-3000 assuming that everyone with a “car” must have a Lamborghini or a Ferrari that takes up a lot of maintenance (if you want to keep it looking nice, at least) and can go 200 miles per hour.

So the vast majority of realistic warhorses/destriers didn’t get much if any armor, because 1) horse-armor is for princes and dukes, not Count Whoever’s third son or his nephew that he tossed out on adulthood with barely any money, and 2) horse-armor is going to weigh down your FAST and NIMBLE warhorse. (Remember: Knights wanted sports cars, not tanks!) Take a look at the horses and knights of the website called “Destrier!” Most horses there aren’t notably tall, and they mostly wear head-armor and fancy but not heavy horse-tack like capes, instead of full barding.

Another reason average/short warhorses were preferred is for medieval safety issues: You wanted to mount your horse from the ground without help. The famous knight Jean Le Maingre was so dedicated to fighting that he could VAULT onto his horse in armor, without touching the stirrups. His instructions are, essentially, “put on your armor, find your horse, put your hands on the horse’s back/saddle, and FUCKING JUMP.”

Unless you’re seven feet tall or a gymnast, you’re not jumping onto an 18-hand draft horse.

So all those Red Dead Redemption animations where you get to alley-oop your way onto your loyal steed? POSSIBLE, IF YOU ARE CRAZY/ANGRY ENOUGH.

Quick note: In ancient Ireland, they refer to a “steed-leap” that nobles, warriors, and other “people rich enough to own RIDING horses” were trained to use–with the important distinction that Gaelic nobles often took pride in either using saddles without stirrups, or NOT USING SADDLES TO PUT ANY STIRRUPS ON. So the bulk of Gaelic Irish nobles could theoretically go Red Dead Redemption on your ass.

—

And the third reason most combat-ready warhorses didn’t get armor is because infantry (the vast majority of most medieval armies) just had a low chance of hitting them in the first place.

First of all, most horses are already faster than people. Destriers were EXCEPTIONALLY fast as the cream of the crop. For the horse to need armor, someone needs a good chance of hitting the horse.

Second, most horses are hard to kill physically because horses don’t tend to like getting stabbed or shot at, so they will likely try to kill YOU, which means that a knight and his horse are TWO fighters who are both very angry and very protective of each other. Most people love their horses, and many combatants share intense bonds! IMAGINE IF YOUR HORSE IS ALSO YOUR SQUAD-MATE!

And last of all, most horses are hard to kill mentally because when you want to use cavalry, you ALSO want the other side’s infantry to get consumed by panic and bolt for their lives, away from their companions and AWAY FROM THE CHARGING HORSES. (Which routinely leads to a slaughter, often called a “rout” in period literature, or a “curb-stomp battle” on TV Tropes.) While most knights could dish out one-on-one duels against EACH OTHER, a knight against a foot-soldier is going to have a huge and explicitly unfair advantage if the soldier is not specifically trained and equipped to take them on.

See, when you get a herd of knights on their steeds, the noise and the wave of horseflesh charging at you is going to make your reptile-brain instincts scream “NOPE NOPE NOPE, WE GOTTA GO!!!”

That instinct is so strong that infantry ACTORS in movies–who know that this is not a real war, and the riders don’t actually want to kill them–still routinely break formation and run.

It was possible to stop cavalry with infantry and end up slaughtering them instead of getting routed–it was just extremely notable.

Also, unless you’re specifically going for blood: You don’t WANT to slaughter a whole formation of knights! That means you’ve just pissed away a WHOLE lot of money that the knights represent!

You killed the horses that you could have used for your own side, and possibly bred for more high-end horses! You ruined the armor that you could have used for your own side, or at least melted down for high-quality, already-mined metal! You killed the knights that you could have sweetened up and used for your own side–or more likely, told their families to pay you if they wanted them home intact.

Barely anyone remembers that knights were as good for HOSTAGES as they were for actually fighting. (Except for Game of Thrones, and it’s still only plot-relevant for Jaime Lannister and Theon Greyjoy, and they explicitly did NOT get the protection a noble hostage should have.) It’s noted that Agincourt was a GREAT ending for England because capturing all those French nobles earned them TWENTY YEARS’ WORTH of regular income in ransoms. If they hadn’t won and gotten all that sweet, sweet French money, they would have been bankrupted and depopulated instead.

—

Two more strikes I’d feel are appropriate for “not wanting draft-type horses in combat:”

-Logistics 1: Too much food, too much hassle. Horses are already notorious for eating a lot, and a DRAFT horse that’s 2000lbs instead of 1200lbs will eat twice as much. No army wants to use their fodder for only half the number of horses they’d expect.

-Logistics 2: Too much hair, too much hassle. Shires and other British horses often have feathering on their legs, and anyone with long hair knows that loose hair/fur is a fucking PAIN. You can braid a horse’s mane and tail, but if you’re one of the many average/poor knights who DON’T have servants to take care of your horse for you, do you want to spend extra time cleaning and combing out your horse’s LEGS instead of necessary things? Like feeding them, grooming them, and checking for wounds? Nope, you’ll probably shave the feathering off or just pick a horse that doesn’t have it.

-Extra note on Friesian horses, who are RIDICULOUSLY common in “medieval” movies: Friesian horses are technically baroque horses in body form (Strong-boned! Big necks and butts!), but they’re also over-used in general, so most horse folks are sick of seeing them in movies. And if you don’t have the right kind of MODERN Friesian, you’ll probably be a laughingstock in addition to an eye-roll.

Some strains of modern Friesians are from carriage-horse lines, often referred to as “big movers.” This means “fun to LOOK AT, but terrible to RIDE.” Because, you know, those strains of Friesians weren’t meant for riding, but for PULLING CARRIAGES. Their movements are big, dramatic, and flashy… and their trot is notorious for bouncing people out of the saddle with every step. Not something you want for a knight who fills his opponents with terror.

A good riding horse’s movements are usually smooth and low to the ground, often described as “floating” and “effortless.”

—

A horse-note that I can’t figure out where to put: Many Western cultures love the idea of fiery stallions (intact male horses) for their noble knights and kings to ride into battle on, but realistically, stallions are only half of a given horse population. Many Western stallions are also gelded if they’re not the cream of the crop (which is probably at least the bottom half of the male horse population). So mares can be used by at least half of a realistic formation who just wants a warhorse, and doesn’t care about aesthetics or masculinity.

Also, mares can be ruthless and stallions can be nervous wrecks! Horses are living creatures, with personalities and feelings!

Horses also aren’t very sexually dimorphic, so a 1200lb war mare is DEFINITELY a match for a 1300lb war stallion. And remember how Loras Tyrell used a mare in heat to distract The Mountain’s stallion? That happens with a lot of stallions… almost like they’re living creatures, with instincts that they can’t always control! So if you know when your girl is ready to go every month, you can play dirty in a joust, too!

Just remember that you’re taking an equal risk, since your mare will possibly try to let a stallion mount her instead of fighting. You will either need to bail when she starts making googly-eyes, or you need to know you have ABSOLUTE loyalty from her, and she will listen to YOU instead of “the hot dude I just met five minutes ago!” HORSES ARE LIVING CREATURES, WITH INSTINCTS THAT THEY CAN’T ALWAYS CONTROL.

Then geldings will be used by at least another quarter of “the knights who cannot afford a horse good enough to keep his testicles,” so that leaves “a quarter or less” of knights who can realistically be mounted on stallions.

WORSE NEWS: If you geld a stallion too late (usually once they’re MOSTLY physically mature at 4-5 years old), that risk may never go away–so you’ve got a gelding who’s not breeding quality, but he’s still chasing mares in heat and fighting other stallions in turf battles, without understanding that he can no longer make babies!

On the other hand, some cultures don’t geld stallions because they view it as unnecessary or outright unnatural… but they also don’t want half the horse population distracted by pretty mares, or fighting with other stallions who walk by the pasture, so those cultures breed them to be sweet and easily managed (outside of battle, at least).

In short: ALL HORSES HAVE POTENTIAL TO BE WARHORSES, WHETHER THEY HAVE BALLS OR NOT.

—

Update, Feb 2 – Another day to expand on that “Different types of warhorses” mention!

Much like the common misconception of “all knights must be at least 6 feet tall and have 200 pounds of muscle” varied in real life due to genetics, cultural values, and logistics problems, the assumption that “all knights MUST have top-quality destriers that cost seven times the price of a normal horse” was not the case for the vast majority of “knights.”

Knights would have either “the best horse they could AFFORD” or “the best horse FOR THEIR SPECIALTY.”

A poor knight, or one of the early Middle Ages, would have “one horse that they’re with all the time;” that horse may not be pretty or come from fancy breeding lines, but they would get the job done and most definitely be taken care of. A wealthy knight of the later Middle Ages, when everything got more expensive and status more codified and finicky, would have two or three horses–one horse for warfare and one for regular riding, with the really wealthy knights having a third packhorse to carry all their stuff. (Moreover, they would have at least one servant to help take care of three horses.)

A muscled sprinter like a destrier is better in tight quarters and for short bursts of speed; to bring in the modern example of a classic/Foundation Quarter Horse, who are ideally “short-legged and low to the ground,” these dudes can literally hit the ground running and reach top speed in a few steps/seconds, so compare that to a sports-car going from zero to sixty miles. The tradeoffs?

1) You need to be able to hang the fuck on… and to avoid getting pitched into a wall/enemy WHEN THEY STOP.

2) That full-throttle gallop will really wear out your horse. A good commander will not bring out their heavy cavalry right away, because you also have to figure out how to get them back from the enemy’s side of the field.

In very simplistic terms, this is one of several problems that the battle of Agincourt had for the French; you had a bunch of hoity-toity noblemen with no proper battle experience who all wanted to do things their own way… and how do medieval noblemen usually want to fight a war? JUST FLOOR IT AND HIT THINGS AS HARD AS YOU CAN.

That went so badly that the recorded death-toll for the French side of Agincourt has been commented as “a roll call for French nobles.”

A destrier would not be suitable for a scout or light-cavalry; they’d need lighter and ground-covering horses to cover rough terrain, and to chase down the enemy for long stretches–akin to a modern-day Thoroughbred. For period pieces they might resemble an Akhal-Teke or “Turkmene” horse. A modern-day Thoroughbred horse can “only” reach forty miles per hour at a gallop, but they can keep that up for a whole mile or longer. So now your knight’s problem is “Hanging on for two or three whole minutes,” and anyone in performing or athletics will explain how long and agonizing a few minutes would feel on a rampaging horse. Have you seen how stacked a racing jockey is? The general consensus I’ve seen from equestrians is that barely anyone in any other horse-discipline is that built.

Meanwhile, an ideal light-cavalry horse would need longer legs for a ground-covering stride, and they may or may not be taller as well; as seen in the Akhal-Teke article, many endurance horses tend to show a lot more ribs and bones than other breeds, due to how lean they are. But think of them less as a dainty riding horse and more like a hunting greyhound/sighthound–all muscle, no fat!

The other type of light-cavalry horse would likely be a pony, used to going for miles on rough terrain, with little if any feed.

EDIT Feb 4, 2024: My post got cut off, so here's the rest of it!

The other type of light-cavalry horse would likely be a pony, used to going for miles on rough terrain, with little if any feed.

A period-accurate scout's horse was known as the Irish hobby, ridden by their eponymous hobelar troops. These little dudes were VERY little and about 12-14 hands high (48-54 inches, or 4 feet tall to bit under five feet tall). They were known to cover 60-70 miles a day in their raids, which my "preindustrial traveling" post notes is the EXTREME upper end of mounted distance travel. Their modern descendant is likely to be the Irish Connemara Pony.

Very wealthy and/or lucky European horsemen could probably manage to buy/steal an Arabian horse, as they remain exceptional endurance horses to this day. However, excessively cold/wet climates will need a lot of upkeep for a desert-bred horse to stay healthy.

While Arabians are known for their adorable "dished faces," this is not actually required! Many well-bred native lines have a regular face (ie, a "straight nose/profile") but they are from well-bred parents and have the capabilities of other Arabians. To the other extreme, you have some modern show/halter lines with REALLY exaggerated heads that hit a lot of people's "Uncanny valley" buttons, and they find it creepy/weird instead of refined. This kind of "seahorse face" would NOT be seen in a period piece.

Notice how the smaller a horse gets, the more ground it can cover? This is partly because size only matters TO AN EXTENT for "how long a horse goes," and partly because of physics! Less weight for a horse to drag around on its own body means more energy for putting miles behind them!

[galedekarios]

Hey there! You're one of the best Gale-ish devnotes\datamines sources that I know of, so I might as well ask. I remember that at some point Gale mentions taking part in Blackstaff Academy balls (or something like that). Is it mentioned elswhere, and do we have any details on his involvement in such activities? Need that for science\personal lore, and I'd appreciate any info (including EA), if you have time. Thanks!

thank you for your message and i'm sorry for the belated response!

i took my time to comb through everything and sadly, the banter with wyll is the only instance i could find of gale mentioning a ball at blackstaff academy:

gale & the annual blackstaff's ball

gale: i knew you were a graceful man, wyll, but i hear you're quite the dancer too. gale: i've been known to trip the light fantastic myself. mine was a popular hand at the annual blackstaff's ball. wyll: i'd have love to have witnessed it, gale. i wager you are as elegant on the dance floor as you are on the battlefield.

the only other banters i could find that are only loosely related. some give us glimpses into his life at the academy, others into his life in waterdeep.

here's another story about gale & being a young student at blackstaff academy, which triggers in the wizard tower in the underdark:

gale & the death slaad

gale: ah. quite. a misadventure from my days as an apprentice at blackstaff academy. gale: i was but a child, only a few months into my studies, but already i knew i was destined for greatness. no one believed me, of course, so i decided to prove it. to cast a spell with the blackstaff itself. gale: from one perspective, i succeeded. i opened a portal. however, instead of pointing it at the first year dormitory, i found myself pulled into limbo, facing a very irritated death slaad. gale: fortunately, the blackstaff himself came to the rescue, hauling me back from the brink, and straight into several months of writing lines. or rather, finessing my autograph. gale: now, much as i enjoy reminiscing about such tomfoolery, i believe we've more pressing matters at hand. is there anything else?

this dialogue path from the epilogue has him speaking a bit more about those days as well:

gale & his days as a wayward apprentice

gale: teaching at blackstaff academy has proven such an unexpected pleasure. sometimes i find it hard to tear myself away. gale: just one of the myriad unexpected ways life has delighted me in recent months. gale: even my own city feels new to me, now that i share it with you. player: probably because i make you put down your quill once in a while and enjoy it. gale: that you do. i've not had so much fun in waterdeep since my own days as a wayward blackstaff apprentice. gale: you've certainly made quite the impression on my friends down at the yawning portal. the last i heard, they were thinking of naming a drink after you.

while he seems to have enjoyed a much richer social life in waterdeep before his time of isolation, it's mentioned in another epilogue banter (devnotes) that he didn't seek out any of the more dangerous parts of the city.

there are also other banters about gale's life in waterdeep before the game:

gale & the temple of beauty in waterdeep

gale: i must tell you, shadowheart, the bathing waters here leave much to be desired. gale: the ablutions offered at the temple of beauty in waterdeep are far superior. and they have the most excellent soaps. shadowheart: hmm. i was wondering why you always smelled like a wealthy dowager.

gale & spending time in the hospice of st. laupsenn

wyll: this was a hospital? feels more like a prison. gale: a common enough interpretation. sickness has a nasty habit of making you feel trapped, if only within the confines of your body. gale: i once spent weeks convalescing in the hospice of st. laupsenn after a nasty bout of ruddy pox. for all their kindness, leaving that place behind felt like freedom to me. wyll: i’ve always relied on the kindness of the healers and menders of the coast. better a cleric’s healing touch than a chirurgeon’s scalpel.

gale & florist

lae'zel: these flowers are quite vivid - not to mention, pungent. not to my liking. gale: are there no flowers in tu'narath? lae'zel: in the city of death, the mlar cultivate the fruiting bodies that sprout from the corpses of the slain. gale: i'd rather get them from my florist in waterdeep, if it's all the same to you.

i'm also including this banter between wyll and gale here because it speaks (even if somewhat joking) about his upbringing as a whole by morena:

wyll: i admire your courage, gale. gale: thank you. any particular reason? wyll: between the orb and the bug, you've got more than your fair share of unwelcome passengers. gale: what can i say? mother always taught me to be a gracious host.

we also know that he has had multiple tutors:

lae'zel: you strike me cleverer than most istiki, gale. multiple tutors, i should guess. gale: many a wise man and woman indeed. waterdeep is the home of myriad scholars. wyll: ah, the city of splendours. spent a whole fleetswake there with my father. what a delight.

hiring tutors appears to be relatively common in waterdeep:

so while this sadly wasn't what you were looking for, i hope this is helpful to some degree! 🖤

[malfoyswand]

𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬

pairing: draco malfoy x reader

summary: draco malfoy comforts you about your biggest insecurity.

word count: 1.5k

genre: fluff

warnings: bullying, insecurities, one instance of swearing, a little bit of nudity (but nothing sexual)

author's note: honestly writing this was like free therapy to me. i plan to write and post a part two to this (featuring smut, everybody cheer) in a couple of days too!

➪ masterlist | requests

You couldn't help but let a sigh escape from your lips as you heard the sound of knocking on your door. Truthfully, if you could have it your way, you would be content with not seeing another human being for the rest of the day.

"Can you come back later? I'm trying to sleep." You called out from your bed, pulling your blankets over your head to block out the knocking. Sleep was far from your mind, you only wished to be alone with your sorrow.

The knocking ceased. Just as you thought whoever it was had walked away, you heard the door creak open anyway. It was probably one of your roommates, you hoped they would leave soon enough. 

You felt someone lift up the blankets slightly and lay down next to you in the bed. Turning your head slightly, you saw it was Draco Malfoy. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw him, but the pain in his eyes saddened you further.

"We both know you're not going to sleep yet, (Y/N)." Draco spoke softly, one of his arms wrapping itself around your shoulders. "Now, please tell me what happened out there."

The last thing you wanted to do was talk about that, but you knew your boyfriend deserved some sort of explanation for your sudden behavior. 

The last Saturday of May was always spent with Draco and his group of friends. It was tradition at this point to spend the whole day at the Black Lake, swimming and getting into all sorts of mischief. However, this year was slightly different. Draco Malfoy had finally asked you to be his girlfriend a few months prior.

While it seemed as if everyone else in the group was ecstatic, Pansy Parkinson was not. You had known for a long time that she had developed a crush on Draco, and wasn't too pleased when Draco had turned her down. Ever since, the tension between the girl who used to be your best friend and yourself has been difficult for you to manage. 

Pansy had finally snapped at the Black Lake and told you how she had felt. While you were watching the Slytherin boys play some sort of game near the water, Pansy sat next to you. The conversation started off pleasant, but it quickly turned brutal.

It started off with Pansy complimenting your navy blue bikini, but in the same breath, she mentioned that "it's brave of you to wear something that revealing, considering your marks and all." Her hands touched the stretch marks on your stomach and thighs, giving them a pinch. You felt your breath become trapped in your throat, she knew they were your biggest insecurity. 

Before you could even think, you found yourself running away from the lake, not even noticing Draco was following your footsteps. 

As you told this story to him, you could see him clench his jaw in anger. "That bitch. Does she not realize what she did was cruel? I'm going to have a talk with her tomorrow, and if she continues, let me know. I will fix this, she can’t talk to you like this and get away with it."

"Draco, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to run off like that. Just give me a minute, I'll come back-" Before you could finish the offer, you felt his lips press softly against yours. He pulled away all too soon, resting his forehead on yours. 

"Oh hush, darling. They'll be alright without us, we're staying right here." To further his point, he pulled you into his arms. There was no other place you would rather be trapped. Only then did you realize he was still in his swim trunks, with no shirt. "I need to make sure that you know you are beautiful."

"I-I'm not." It came out as a quiet, defeated whisper as you felt the sobs begin again. Your insecurities were something you never shared with your boyfriend before, you didn't want to burden him any further. 

"Oh.." Draco slightly panicked, not sure exactly what to do. He had never seen you cry before. "No, no. Please don't say that. Pansy couldn't have been more wrong, you look like an angel. Why would you think any different?"

It was hard to speak, between your cries and your voice being muffled from Draco pulling you closer to him. He wiped away each tear that fell, listening intently as you spoke. 

"Because of what she said. I mean, she was right. I have stretch marks all over me, and the bikini only just shows them even more. I don't know what I was thinking! They make me so ugly and it's embarrassing, when no other girl there had them."

One of his hands moved your chin upwards, forcing your eyes to meet his gray ones. "Stop it right there, (Y/N). You are not ugly, and who cares about some marks? You are absolutely perfect in my eyes."

He must have been able to tell that a part of you didn't believe him. You knew he loved you and would never lie to you, he truly did think you were beautiful. But you couldn't bring yourself to think of yourself in that way.

You felt him shift next to you as he sat up, moving the blankets away so he could see you fully. You were still in that cursed bikini, biting your lip as you realized he could now see you in broad daylight. "Draco, what are you doing?"

"Well if you won't believe my words, maybe you'll believe my actions." A small smile spread on his face as his hands gently found themselves roaming down your body, his eyes soaking in every piece of exposed skin he could. You were about to protest to explain that you weren't in the mood for anything his mind might come up with.

"Before you ask, no, I'm not trying to initiate anything else. Would it be okay if I touched your stomach?" It was as if he could read your mind. You were terrified that if Draco touched your stomach and felt the marks that had invaded your skin, he would become disgusted. But at the same time, his touch was comforting. It was something you knew could calm you down. 

With a nod, he grinned and lowered himself down until his eyes were level with your stomach. His fingertips gently caressed down until they reached your lower abdomen. "Merlin, you're beautiful. You belong in a museum of art, my love."

His words made you blush bright red, as your hands covered your face to hide this fact. "Hardly." That was all you could manage to choke out between your embarrassment and the sobs that still begged to break free from your chest.

"Please, look at me." You obeyed, placing your hands at your side once more and looking down to look at Draco. "I'm not kidding around, you are stunning. If anything, these marks make you even more so."

You felt his fingertips gently graze upon each stretch mark, your breath hitching as he did so. His lips replaced them in an instant, as he kissed each mark he could find. Eventually, the path of marks led him to pulling down your bikini bottom very slightly to only kiss the ones on your hips. 

You knew he could feel every slight bump on his lips, the thought of it filled you with shame. His kisses were feather-like, it was as if he was afraid that if he kissed your skin too hard, you would break underneath him. But as you looked at him, he didn't seem to mind.

If anything, Draco Malfoy seemed to adore it. He kept his eyes mostly on yours, but occasionally, he would look down at the stretch marks before him. His kisses were slow, as if he was trying to take his time in memorizing every curve of each mark. His hands gently rubbed the curves of your waist, smiling to himself as he felt your body relax at his touch.

Once he was finally done kissing each mark he could find, you couldn't help but smile at the look of achievement on his face. His eyes seemed to have a glimmer to them, as if he had just won a prize.

"Actually, I take back my statement from before. You're not just something to be put in a museum for people to look at, until they get bored and move along. You deserve something much more permanent, like a sculpture to last the ages."

"What?" A look of confusion spread across your face. What was Malfoy going on about, comparing you to pieces that belonged in some sort of art collection?

"What I mean is," a soft laugh came from Draco's lips as he laid down next to you again, his fingers caressing your jawline this time around. "You should be worshiped, darling. Please never repeat the words you said earlier. Those marks are breathtaking, I could spend eternity kissing them.”

You could feel the tears form in the corner of your eyes, but from joy instead of sorrow. Draco was puzzled, worried that his words may have hurt you unintentionally. You learned your head into the crook of his neck, feeling his hands caress your back. 

“I thought you would hate them, you know?” You managed to whisper into his shirt. He responded by shushing you, his fingertips finding their way through your hair.

“I could never, (Y/N). I’ve never seen anything, or anyone, more beautiful.”

[kuroppiii]

Hi! I saw your Brazilian reader and I was wondering if you could do it again? This time its Sugawara x Filipino reader where she is an exchange student from the Philippines? I hope this is ok, thank you!

  binibini ᵕ̈       sugawara kōshi x filipina!reader ˎˊ˗

⋮⋮ ˒ ₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ 𖥻 ⿻ : japanese boy tries to ⋮⋮  harana no clickbait

📋 content     ♡ # 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧 🐮     ♡ # 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴 🥛     ♡ # ~850 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 ( wow i got carried away )

🎶 on shuffle “ mundo ” - iv of spades

🧸 directory  ‹ ✩  like what you read ? check out more of my blog !  •ᴗ•

💬 kuroppiii ─ “ SOBRANG OKAY YAN ! started doing backflips when i first saw this nonnie , salamat sa request mo 🫶 i hope you like it !!! ( i ' ve said this before but my tagalog isn ' t the best :,) so pls correct me nicely if i ' m mistaken anywhere ! ) ”

sugawara was spacing off the day you arrived

he didn’t even catch when the teacher announced their section has just received a new transfer student

but what he did notice, was how stunning you were once you walked into the classroom

like the grip on his pen goes slack and it rolls off his desk and onto the floor clattering (😭😭😭)

he quickly picks it up before looking back up to find which desk you just sat down at

he sneaks glances at you the whole rest of the period

AND WHEN YOU ACCIDENTALLY CATCH HIM 🫠

internally he panics and freaks out and almost shuts down completely bc what if you thought he was looking at you bc he thought you were weird or something

when that is DEFINITELY not the case!!!

so on the outside he gives you a warm and reassuring smile

if you smiled back before looking to the front of the classroom again

you’d miss how his ears have turned an excruciatingly obvious shade of red

he’ll ask around about you during volleyball practice, specifically with the other third years

“have you seen that new girl in your classes too?” [sugawara]

“which one?” [asahi]

“y/n? the one from the philippines?” [daichi]

“the philippines?!” [sugawara]

he had no clue (since bro was not locked in when the teacher first introduced you)

now he’s wondering how you’re getting by, coming to a completely new country and all

can you speak the language here? are you having a hard time? can he help you with that?

sugawara’s such a gentleman, he can’t help but worry for your well being!

(he especially can’t help it when you look so pretty whenever you pass him in the halls in-between classes)

sugawara isn’t necessarily a shy guy, so he eventually (bc granted it took a few days for him to muster up the courage) comes up to you one day at the end of class

“hello! how is school here for you so far?” [sugawara]

“oh! um, it—” [you]

“MY NAME’S SUGAWARA BY THE WAY OR YOU CAN CALL ME SUGA EITHER IS FINE.” [sugawara]

yeah he totally nailed that. went totally to plan

“my name’s y/n. nice to meet you sugawara!” [you]

you know enough to talk to him oh my god you’re talking to him so he feels more encouraged to keep talking to you more!

whether that’s after class, or in passing in the halls

or for instance he’ll eat lunch with you if he ever sees you eating alone while you’re still in the process of making friends after your initial transfer

shows interest in what baon you have packed for the day

always eager to listen to you talk about where you’re from and your stories from back home

as you talk, he listens sooo intently with the most admiring look on his face "he wants that cookie so fucking bad"

if you get hung up on finding a translation for a word, he’ll help you through it

is quickly looking up translations of words in tagalog on his phone under the lunch table

he thinks you don’t catch it but you totally do he’s not slick

(despite this, sometimes you make it into a little game)

“so it’s like mcdonald’s?” [sugawara]

“nooo! jollibee isn’t a… a… ? oh, what is it in japanese—?” [you]

“franchise? like more than one shop?” [sugawara] (furious typing can be heard)

“no, it’s the person with makeup.” [you]

“mascot? the one in a costume?” [sugawara] (more aggressive backspacing and typing as he occasionally glances to something at his side)

“almost! the one with big shoes!” [you]

“clown? pasayo?” [sugawara]

“yes, clown! thanks suga!” [you]

(your smile is so cute as you thank him for helping you that he feels like he can melt right then and there) (you knew the word for “clown” the whole time)

asks ukai like every week if his store is carrying any of the snacks or foods you’ve mentioned—chippy, clover, piattos, mang juan, pancit canton—anything he can get his hands on to see your face light up when he surprises you with it

will watch any teleseryes you recommend

and when he sees the whole harana courting deal on those shows, he’s like “ok bet”

that’s how he’s going to turn this friendship to something more!

will start offering to walk you home sometimes, and if you live with family members he would try to get good on their good side and always politely waves hi to them when he drops you off

writes you small and cute notes in class or slips them into your bag when you’re not looking as his own kind of love letter sitch

and when he’s ready to really shoot his shot

he has kiyoko to help him fold origami flowers (real ones would’ve been harder to hide in his bag) so cute i’m sobbing </3

and before he drops you off one day, he might not feel confident enough to sing to you 😭

butttt instead he finds popular filo songs and queues them up to play from his phone in his pocket

then he gives you the flowers <3

“p-pwede ba kitang maging boyfriend? (google translated "can i be your boyfriend?")” [sugawara]

🗒⋆ *. ୨୧⋆｡ taglist : @akaakeis , @19calicos , @berrisweet kumusta lovelies ;)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Ahoy!Hoy! How are you today, Ms Raven? I hope you're well and all is well.

Out of curiosity, Which of the twst boys have their unique magic and what/ how do their unique magic work?

The UM names, chants, effects, and restrictions we know of so far are below the cut. Please note: JP uses the term “unique magic” and EN uses the term “signature spell”; I will be using the abbreviation “UM” throughout this post to refer to it. Note that some incantations are taken directly from the official localization; others come from fan translations that I happen to like or prefer over the official ones, which I will indicate with "***".

Please also know that we don’t know the same amount of information about each UM nor their effects or limitations. I’ve done my best to compile what information we do know for certain though. I’ll update this post as more information comes out!!

***Beware of spoilers, as this post has information from TWST JP!!***

Riddle

"Off With Your Head" collars a target and seals their magic away, preventing them from spellcasting.

The collar cannot be removed by any means unless Riddle himself chooses to do so.

“Are you ready for your sentence? The verdict comes afterwards. Any last words? Off With Your Head!” (TWST EN official localization)

First use of UM: prologue-3 of the main story

First instance of incantation: Episode of Heartslabyul manga chapter 1

Trey

In JP, Trey’s UM is called “Doodle Suit”. In EN, it’s called “Paint the Roses”, which likely derives from how the UM is written literally as “(Let’s) Paint the Roses”.

His UM allows Trey to temporarily override or “paint over” a targeted aspect of something or someone else, usually the senses. For example, he can rewrite taste as well as rewrite “other people’s magic” as “his magic”.

***"White to red, and red to white. Paint the Roses/Doodle Suit!”*** (by Mystery Shop TLs)

First use of UM: 1-14 of the main story

First instance of incantation: Twisted Wonderland Novelization Volume 1

Cater

Cater’s UM is “Split Card”, which allows him to create clones of himself. The clones can act independently, but the more clones Cater creates at once, the more strain is placed on him.

In the manga, the clones are shown to revert to playing cards when they’re no longer needed or damaged.

“I am he and we are they. Split Card!” (TWST Episode of Heartslabyul manga official localization)

"I’m him and he’s them! Split Card!!” (TWST EN official localization)

***"I am he, and he is me. Split Card!"*** (by the Turtle Soup Scans team)

First use of UM: prologue-3 of the main story

First instance of incantation: Episode of Heartslabyul manga chapter 7 and/or P.E. Uniform vignette

Ace

No information available yet other than we know he’s shocked that Deuce manifested his UM before he did.

Deuce

His UM first manifests in book 5; in JP, it goes by the name “Bet the Limit”, whereas in EN, it’s “Double Down”, both of which are betting terms.

Bet the Limit allows the caster, Deuce, to send back all the damage he has taken at double the power.

"It's payback time! Get a load of this! Bet the Limit/Double Down!" (TWST EN official localization)

***“I’ll make you pay for that! Grit your teeth and take it! Bet the Limit!”*** (by Mystery Shop TLs; some creative liberties taken)

When Azul uses Deuce's UM in Glorious Masquerade, the chant is: "... It's time to pay up! You're in for a world of hurt! Double Down!" (TWST EN official localization)

First use of UM: 5-45 of the main story

First instance of incantation: 5-64 of the main story

Leona

“King’s Roar” turns anything Leona commands into sand. It also seems to induce a dry environment. The UM is called “The King’s Roar” in EN.

According to in-game dialogue, anything Leona touches after casting King's Roar turns to sand. Due to the limitations of the visual novel style of the game, it's unclear whether or not Leona's spell requires physically touching something. If we reference other official materials (such as the animated trailer) it doesn't look to be a hard requirement.

He can control the sand he creates.

Leona's UM has the capability to kill (since it has an effect on even living beings); this terrible power is part of the reason why he was gossiped about and feared by the palace servants (seen in his post-OB flashback).

"I am the one who hungers. I am the one who thirsts. I am the one that robs you of your future. Kneel before me! King’s Roar!" (TWST EN official localization)

***“I am your hunger. I am your thirst. I am what steals the light of your tomorrows. Kneel before me! King’s Roar!”*** (by twstarchives!)

First use of UM: 2-25 of the main story

First instance of incantation: Leona Dorm Uniform vignettes (part 3)

Ruggie

“Laugh with Me” lets Ruggie control the movements of other people by forcing them to copy his own body.

The more people he's controlling, the more difficult it is for him. (It's possible to take magic-enhancing potions to increase the number of people he can control at once, seemingly without negative detriment.)

***"Both kings and hyenas are my friends! Laugh with Me!"*** (by MysteryShopTLs!)

First use of UM: 2-2 of the main story

First instance of incantation: Episode of Savanaclaw manga volume 2 (I think chapter 7)

Jack

"Unleash Beast" gives Jack the power to turn into a large, powerful wolf form without the help of a transformation potion or other outside means. In EN, it has become "Unleash the Beast" to comply with English grammatical rules.

In his wolf form, Jack has heightened strength, speed, etc.

Jack had to train himself to be able to stay in his wolf form for long periods of time.

First use of UM: 2-25 of the main story

First instance of incantation: TBD

Azul

"It's a Deal" grants Azul the ability to confiscate an agreed-upon ability or spell of his client; Azul is then able to use these abilities or spells for himself.

If the client is not able to fulfill their end of the contract or breaches its terms, the client is forced to comply with Azul's every command (via the anemone they'd sprout on their head).

The agreement is valid as long as the golden contract which seals the agreement is left intact; however, the contracts are fragile like real paper. For this reason, Azul electrifies them with magic in order to create the false impression that the contracts are indestructible.

Azul is also able to take abilities without consent or without a contract. This method causes much more rapid blot accumulation, as normally the contracts help limit this.

He indicates that he "worked on" his UM, whatever the heck that means. It implies he trained or practiced using it to get better st it or to better understand its limits.

"The song ceases, the sun sets. I extend my benevolent hand to you poor, unfortunate souls. Now, to business! It's a Deal!" (TWST EN official localization)

***"The song ends, the sun sets. Extend mercy upon these poor, unfortunate souls. Now, sign the contract! It’s a Deal!"*** (by Mystery Shop TLs; some creative liberties taken)

First use of UM: book 3 of the main story, but he's been using it long before NRC

First instance of incantation: 5-5 of Glorious Masquerade

Jade

“Shock the Heart” forces a target to speak only the truth. It requires the target to look into Jade’s left eye in order to work.

This UM can only be used once per person and fails if casted on someone who is very alert, cautious, or are already aware of its effect. This is why Jade intentionally keeps his UM secret.

Shock the Heart is not all-powerful or absolute; in cases of strong loyalty, a target may not divulge the truths Jade wants to hear. For example, Kalim, who was very easy to initially trick, trusts Jamil so deeply that he resists Jade’s demands to tell him who in Scarabia has a mind-controlling UM.

"Don’t be afraid. I want to help you. Shock the Heart." (TWST EN official localization)

First use of UM: 3-1 of the main story

First instance of incantation: 4-25 of the main story

Floyd

“Bind the Heart” allows Floyd to redirect magical attacks, thereby rendering him unaffected by them.

His UM is highly dependent on his mood; if Floyd isn’t feeling up to it, then the spell won’t work.

***“It was just gettin’ good, but what if I butt in?”*** (by MysteryShopTLs!)

First use of UM: 3-18 of the main story

First instance of incantation: 7-187 of the main story

Kalim

“Oasis Maker” summons a large amount of (fresh, not salt) water in exchange for only a (relatively) small amount of magical power.

Any additional effects of the water (if any) are not specifically stated; other characters just remark that the water is tasty and at a nice temperature.

Kalim says he doesn’t think his UM is all that useful, especially since the development of waterways in his home country has made it much easier to access potable water.

"Respite in the scalding sands, a neverending party. Dance! Sing! Oasis Maker!" (TWST EN official localization)

First use of UM: 4-14 of the main story

First instance of incantation: 4-14 of the main story

Jamil

His UM is known as “Snake Whisper” in JP and “Snake Charmer” in English (which is likely taken from the way “Snake Whisper” is literally written as “Snake Charmer” in the original JP).

This spell lets Jamil hypnotize people and make them follow his commands. His targets must make eye contact for him in order for Snake Whisper to work.

The more a target resists Jamil’s UM, the more target will hurt until they finally succumb to the spell.

Long-term use and/or controlling multiple people at once can cause more rapid blot accumulation.

"The one you behold is your master. When I ask you a question, you will answer. When I give you a command, you will assent. Snake Whisper." (TWST EN official localization)

***"The one you see reflected in your eyes is your master. Answer when I ask. Bow when I command. Snake Whisper."*** (by Mystery Shop TLs)

First use of UM: book 4-6 of the main story, but Jamil has been mind-controlling Kalim before this instance

First instance of incantation: 4-30 of the main story

Vil

"Fairest One of All" lets Vil curse any item he touches and to set the conditions to break that curse. These conditions are immovable and, once set, not even Vil can lift the curse.

"I lose naught and fear naught. This shining crown was made for me. Fairest One of All." (Note: Vil denotes the conditions for the curse after the chant.) (TWST EN official localization)

First use of UM: 5-32 of the main story

First instance of incantation: 6-55 of the main story

Rook

In EN, Rook's UM is "Arrow Afar". The original name for JP is "I See You". This is a small, slight (and therefore hard to notice or gauge as dangerous) spell that is cast upon targets. He can then pinpoint their exact location, regardless of distance.

If the tagged item or person has entered a zone which blocks off magic, then Rook cannot track their location.

"Come, see if you can flee from me. I See You/Arrow Afar." (TWST EN official localization)

First use of UM: 6-25 of the main story (for tracking); the tagging is actually done earlier in the book

First instance of incantation: 6-25 of the main story

Epel

In JP, Epel's UM is "Sleep Kiss". In EN, it was changed to "Crimson Slumber". This lets Epel conjure enchanted glass coffins to contain people. Once inside, his targets fall into a deep sleep. Epel describes his spell as being able to “stop the activity” of people inside the coffin.

The coffins can be used as powerful barriers to protect others. It may also help in delaying or slowing the effects of a curse if a vicim is placed inside one of Epel’s coffin.

Epel manifests his UM in book 6; Rook helps guide him in using it.

"Your eyes will close, your breath will still. Sleep Kiss/Crimson Slumber." (TWST EN official localization)

First use of UM: 6-58 of the main story

First instance of incantation: 6-58 of the main story

Idia

"Gate to Underworld" allows Idia to open and close the gateway to the "Underworld"/Tartarus which is house in STYX HQ. It is written in EN as "Gate to the Underworld". The Underworld holds many dangerous Phantoms which the facility researches.

It is implied that Idia’s UM is hereditary to the Shroud family.

"Game, set, match. Gate to (the) Underworld." (TWST EN official localization)

First use of UM: 6-68 of the main story, though technically Idia may have used it in 6-54 to let OG!Ortho out of Tartarus (we don’t get to see it explicitly being used).

First instance of incantation: 6-68 of the main story

Ortho

No information available yet; Ortho has stated that he cannot use magic, so it’s unlikely that he can have a UM at all.

UPDATE: Ortho confirms in book 7 he does not have a UM and cannot develop one. However, what makes him "unique" is his robotic nature; he is able to transfer his consciousness to new vessels.

Malleus

“Fae of Maleficence” summons thorns which causes all living beings in its area of effect to fall into a deep slumber. (Ortho speculates that people, if left in this state, will have their bodies deteriorate.) In EN, the name was changed to “Fae Maleficence”.

Malleus's UM also creates thorns which allow him absolute control of whatever is contained inside of the space the thorns preoccupy. This includes stopping time within the area. Previously, Malleus was also seen stopping time in the event Endless Halloween Night. However, it's not known whether this occurred because of his UM or not.

It is possible for Malleus to manipulate the sleepers’ dreams and to glimpse into them.

The dreams can run by themselves, pulling reference information from each individual dreamer's memories and desires. If the dreamer tries to wake up, the dream will do everything in its power to keep the dreamer asleep.

It may be difficult for Malleus to enter one’s dream if the dream takes place in a period where he does not exist (such as not yet being born out of his egg) or if he does not understand certain concepts (like technology). This is because magic requires imagination, and it is hard for Malleus to imagine particular scenarios.

"Spinning wheel of fate, spin the threads of calamity. I, the Lord of Malevolence, offer this blessing. Fae Maleficence." (TWST EN official localization)

***“Spin the thread of disaster on the spinning wheel of Fate. For I, the Ruler of the Abyss, shall bestow it (a blessing) upon you. Fae of Maleficence.”*** (by Mystery Shop TLs; creative liberties taken)

First use of UM: 7-37 of the main story

First instance of incantation: 7-37 of the main story

Lilia

"Far Cry Cradle" allows Lilia to view the memories associated with an object by touching it.

"As fast as the days pass by, take me there in the blink of an eye. Far Cry Cradle." (TWST EN official localization)

***"As if it were a day. Everywhere I go, it will be in a blink of an eye. Far Cry Cradle."*** (by Yaoyaobae)

First use of UM: 7-81 of the main story

First instance of incantation: 7-81 of the main story

Silver

Bear with me, Silver's UM has like a million and one parts to it...

"Meet in a Dream" essentially allows Silver to hop between peoples’ dream worlds. It can only be used when he himself is asleep and when he is aware he is dreaming.

Silver does not experience narcolepsy while he is within a dream.

“Dreamways” are transitional places between dreams. These dreamways look like a softly colored sky with birds flying through them.

Silver cannot control whose dream he goes to, although he has noted that it tends to be people whom he has a strong bond with, such as Lilia or Sebek. It's not clear how he is able to walk in Mickey's dream, as Silver doesn't seem to be familiar with him.

The dreamer is indicated by a shining white bird that flies around them. Silver must stay close to the dreamer or else he will risk falling deeper into sleep.

He can only leave the dream when the dreamer wakes up (thus dissolving the dream world) or if he uses his UM to hop into another dream.

The dreamer can be woken by a large shock, whether physical or emotional.

Silver says his UM does not take a lot of magical energy to use.

"Those I've met and will someday... Meet in a Dream." (TWST EN official localization)

***"To the one I’ve met before, to the one I’ve yet to meet. Meet in a Dream."*** (by Mystery Shop TLs)

First use of UM: 7-43 of the main story

First instance of incantation: 7-43 of the main story

Sebek

"Living Bolt" turns Sebek’s entire body into lightning. He can use that magic to attack and to travel very quickly.

However, the spell will damage his body with use.

Sebek reports developing this UM when Silver enrolled at NRC and when Sebek was training by himself. He wanted to be able to rush to Malleus’s side at a moment’s notice

Sebek says this is the first time he's using his UM and that he hasn't fully mastered it yet. He had not intended to use it until he has mastered it.

"Lightning, pierce the stormy skies! Living Bolt!" (TWST EN official localization)

***"Thrust through the clouds, o' lightning! Living Bolt!"*** (by curekibouka!)

First use of UM: 7-84 of the main story

First instance of incantation: 7-84 of the main story

Che’nya

Che’nya’s UM allows him to turn himself (whether in whole or in parts) invisible.

We don’t yet know the name of the UM or the incantation for it.

Che’nya appears to mainly utilize his UM to sneak onto NRC campus and to steal food.

First use of UM: 1-18 of the main story

First instance of incantation: TBD

Rollo

“Dark Fire” envelops Rollo’s entire body in fire. He can manipulate this fire as he likes, and the flames grow more powerful the more negative feelings there are present.

"Crimson lotus flames, burn my body and guide me. Darkfire!" (TWST EN official localization)

***“O, crimson lotus flower… Scorch my soul and guide me. Dark Fire!”*** (by Mystery Shop TLs)

First use of UM: 5-5 of Glorious Masquerade

First instance of incantation: 5-5 of Glorious Masquerade

Fellow

“Life is Fun” makes a target more optimistic and happy. They are then more susceptible to being manipulated by Fellow.

This UM is notable as the only one so far with an incantation spoken in English instead of in Japanese.

The spell has no effect on people who are already very optimistic like Kalim. It also doesn’t work if Fellow tries convincing the target to do something they would never considering doing “from the bottom of their heart”.

The spell doesn’t work on heavily guarded people or people that recently underwent a traumatic event.

Life is Fun doesn’t cost a lot of magic, so it is difficult to detect. It can be used multiple times, the effect “stacking” without risk of Overblot.

***”Come on to the theatre! Life is Fun!”*** (by curekibouka!)

First use of UM: 5-6 of Stage in Playful Land, but technically we’ve been seeing him cast it as early as chapter 1 of the event

First instance of incantation: 5-6 of Stage in Playful Land

[milliesfishes]

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚𝓕𝓪𝓲𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓼 (𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮)𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

[fem reader] contains: fluff, angst, forced marriage, slight violence pairing: billy the kid x fem reader summary: last part of fairytales :) author’s note: I hope you enjoy! I spent awhile on this one <3 Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist

One can never catch freedom if they chase it.

You wished your story had begun with 'Once Upon a Time' so there was guarantee of an ending wrapped up in a pretty bow. Oh, the ideal. You and your knight riding away into the sunset, newly married with the brightest of futures waving from the horizon like a rosy sunset.

As of now, that ending was no more than a daydream.

Three princes had arrived from kingdoms not too far, vying for both your affections and your hand. You hardly took it seriously. After all, this was but one of many instances where men with more royal blood than brains attempted to charm you over dinner.

The king's displeasure with you was tense for the entire event, and you did your best to ignore the storm brewing in Nicholas. You imagined that it was Billy sitting across from you instead of a prince, telling you about his day or teaching you about the stars.

He hadn't written since the night in the woods, where you'd felt like you came alive for the very first time. Never before had you been able to just be with him until then. Before there had always been a look over the shoulder, reminders to speak in hushed tones. That night though, released from your title and your jailer, you breathed easy.

It was the complete opposite of how you felt in the present moment, laced into a dress that was pushing your breasts up to your neck and making your waist collapse in on itself while you tried and failed to pay attention to what your unwanted suitors were saying.

As you feigned interest, your hand came up to the silver heart charm on your collarbone, tracing the little embedded design. You'd sent letters, of course, and the doves had come back empty handed, so you knew they were getting to him. But he hadn't sent so much as a single word back. Was he safe? You thought over the content of your writings, trying to imagine if something had made him upset. But all you could recall were the usual things you talked about (dreams, hopes, wishes, how much you loved him).

The night concluded with little fanfare, and you bid each suitor good night at the king's side. When the doors shut, you curtsied and made to go off to bed in the hopes that Billy's dove would be waiting for you, but the king held out a hand before you could escape.

"The princes," he started, eyeing you warily. "What did you make of them?"

It was clear as water what he was asking. Lifting your chin, you said in demure tones, "I am unsure of any decision at this time, Your Majesty."

Nicholas huffed through his nose, then seemed to lighten, eyes trailing up and down your figure. "You are aware of the alternative if you fail to choose a suitor." He seemed slightly pleased about the situation, and your body tensed, hand going up to play with your necklace once again. "With your history, perhaps it would be best to move forward with that."

In that moment, any hopes of this being a game shattered. The lust in his eyes conveyed something that made you want to tear at your eyes and crawl out of your skin. If you didn't know any better, you would say he had purposefully sent for men he'd known you would disdain, to make his desired outcome more possible.

But as you stared up into his eyes, you knew you would do anything to avoid that fate.

He raised his eyebrows at your silence, a tiny smile creeping up his lips and nearly making you shiver. "I will speak with the archbishop tomorrow-"

Mind working quickly, you blurted out, "What if we hosted a ball?"

The outburst made him pause. Brow furrowing in confusion, Nicholas squinted before responding, his voice dry. "A ball?"

"You've...you've been wanting to host a gathering," you managed, the words tumbling from your mouth as you tried to find footing on a solid reason. Anything to delay it. Anything to delay it. "And besides, it would give me an opportunity to...get to know my...suitors...better. Or perhaps find a new one among the invited nobles."

He appeared taken aback by your suggestion. Never before had you expressed a single modicum of interest in the men presented before you. And normally you wouldn't have offered up the chance of more time with them, but this situation was precarious. You would take a night of dancing with supposedly well-bred princes if it prolonged any suggestion of marriage to such a vile man.

Nicholas appeared incredulous. You held your breath, sure he would say no. He would see through your thinly veiled plan and insist you marry him at once.

He surprised you when he said, "I will allow it." Your shoulders slumped just slightly, but stiffened again when he said, "But if by the conclusion of the evening you have found no one to at the very least court, we will move forward with the second option."

Swallowing, the weight of the responsibility apparent on your shoulders, you nodded, aware this was likely the best possible outcome. "Fine."

"Good." Nicholas caught sight of a courtier motioning to him from the nearby door and waved you off. "Best you retire for the night. We will discuss details come morning."

How easy it was for him to decide and discuss pressing matters of your future as if they were nothing more than the weather. You envied him for that.

Clutching your skirts, you hurried quickly up the stairs like a storybook maiden to her tower, heart racing when the door was shut behind you. The sun had long sunk into the earth, darkness engulfing your space. Stars winked at you through the window, the moon peeking out a corner. Deciding not to ring for your maid, you squinted at the little table beside the door and lit the candle sitting in its golden holder.

Lifting it to observe your surroundings, you nearly had the fright of your life when you saw Billy casually sitting on your window seat, stroking the neck of his dove, which had a little envelope attached to its foot.

Putting a hand to your heart, your shoulders moved up and down as you breathed in, recovering from the shock. "You frightened me."

"Sent this hours ago." Billy nodded to the dove, fingers making quick work of untying the message. He set the bird on the windowsill, watching it fly away briefly before turning back to you. "When I came to our spot you weren't there. I was gettin' worried."

"It was a long day," you said apologetically, setting the candle down on your vanity surface and beginning to remove pins from your hair. Out of the corner of your mind you saw his shadow stand, and before you knew it a pair of arms were wrapping around your midsection, his familiar scent steadying your heartbeat like a comforting hand.

Setting a handful of pins on the table, you removed your tiara and shook out your hair, then turning to bury your face into him. He kissed the top of your head, one hand rubbing your back, callouses catching on the silk of your dress. "That bad, huh?"

"It's the king," you murmured into him. "I wasn't aware of how serious he was about marriage..." You shuddered slightly, and Billy's arms tightened around you. There was a blanket of silence that covered you both for a moment, sheathing you in a comfortable place where you couldn't be disturbed. Hesitantly whispering into this void, you said, "I managed to put him off."

"Smart girl. 'Course ya did," he muttered, brushing some of your hair behind your shoulder. Though his motions and words were casual, you could hear the uncertainty behind them. "What'd ya do?"

"I convinced him to hold a ball," you sighed, pulling back from Billy and facing the other way, folding your arms over yourself. "To find a suitor. Whether it be one of the ones I met today or some other nobleman. But I..." Tears stung your eyes as the suddenly very real possibility fell upon on you. "I'll have to marry either way. I don't want to, Billy-" the rest of your sentence was lost to tears, and you covered your face with your hands.

He gave you a moment before you felt his hands on your elbows. Turning and clutching at his shirt, your body shook as awful images swam before your eyes. You in a white dress, on the arm of some faceless stranger, or worse yet, the king. Someone else kissing you, someone else...

Billy's hand came to hold the back of your head, pressing it to his shoulder as he let every crystal tear that rained down your cheeks sink into the fabric of his shirt, leaving little dots in the blue fabric. His body began to sway slightly, rocking you back in forth in a soothing motion that stirred the beginnings of quelling your fear.

There was no outside world in his arms. Though time seemed to speed up when you were encased within them, you hid there as long as you were able. He was a vision in your darkness.

You lifted your head from his chest like a rabbit poking its head from a hole in the ground. He thumbed the side of your cheek, leaning in to kiss your nose gently. The brim of his hat poked your forehead, and you looked up at him with hearts in your eyes.

Then you were pulling him down easily, hesitating before pressing your lips to his. It was a whisper of a kiss that he returned, but when you nudged your nose against his cheek, he took the cue and deepened it.

Billy's hands were at your waist, squeezing lightly as his lips dragged over yours. He held your waist against his, making you arch your back at the feeling. But his hand came to support you, splaying over your spine and the other on your head guiding your mouth forward to meet his.

Hands finding the handkerchief around his neck, you tugged at it, beginning to step backward. Billy followed, chasing your lips as he pressed hot, needy kisses to them. The backs of your knees hit the edge of the bed and you let yourself fall back, bringing him sprawling down on top of you. The plush mattress swallowed you, surrounding you both in the pink covers, embroidered with little flowers. He did the gentlemanly thing and rolled you over so he was on the bottom, and you weren't crushed by his weight.

Billy held you by your waist, one hand on your back gently pulling your body into his. You pushed his hat away, off the bed, shifting so your legs were on either side of his waist. He paused briefly, lifting you under your arms to sit upright as he did too. Looking into your eyes, he let his hands slide down your sides, skimming the edges of your breasts. You searched his eyes, trying to read them when the only light was still flickering on your vanity table.

"How far d'ya wanna go, baby?" he whispered, catching your lips in the softest brush. "This ain't...this ain't just kisses."

You pawed lightly at the buttons of his shirt, eyes focused on them though you knew his were firmly set on your face. Fingers hooking on the first fastened one, you breathed, "I don't want anybody else to have me this way. Just you." Lifting your eyes to meet his, you reached for his hand, lifting it to cover your heart. "I want you to have me first."

Billy tenderly lifted your hand to his mouth, kissing your fingers. He murmured against them, "'m happy just bein' with ya, sweet girl."

"I want you to be the only one who's had all of me." Your breath hitched on the last word, and he opened his eyes. Though the air was black, you swore you could see the oceanic blue of his eyes through it all. Every word that fell from your mouth you meant. You were tired of wearing his love like a secret.

Leaning against him, you nudged your nose against his. "You have my heart and my mind and my soul. Take the last part. I'm giving it to you."

Billy's silence was filled with awe. He just looked at you for a moment, and you were unfortunately reminded of the way the king did earlier. But it was in comparison. Nicholas' stare was wicked and conniving, looking to devour you like a step to his pedestal. But the man in front of you, your love, your life...his gaze held a feeling bigger than the whole sky and everything in it. Billy touched you as if you were precious, like he didn't deserve you. And the fact that he didn't think he did meant he was the only one worthy.

You leaned up, kissing him softly and closing his hand over your breast. He nuzzled your cheek once, hand sliding to the back of your dress and beginning to fidget with the buttons. Your mouth was busy on his, and so you couldn't convey how impressed you were when he managed to undo the top part, pushing it down your chest.

Your undergarment was white, edged with lace, with a little rose in the center. Billy took one look at you and dove in, lips trailing down your jaw and falling down your neck, fastening to your collarbone in slow, hot kisses. Head tilted back to give him better access, your hand tangled in his hair, encouraging him to keep going.

Reaching around yourself, you pulled your shoes off and tossed them aside, eager fingers unhooking his buttons. Once his shirt was off, you looked at him fascinatedly, curiously running a hand down his chest and looking up at him questioningly. He smiled, touching your hand on him. "'s okay. You can touch me. Wantcha to."

He held you close as you explored him, patiently endeared. Billy leaned in to kiss you carefully, murmuring against your lips, "You're beautiful, darlin'. M' pretty girl."

Billy turned you over, setting you down against the covers and slowly working your dress off your body, his hands worshipful. The way he looked at you was nothing short of adoring.

The movements of his lips ebbed and flowed as he took his time with you, holding you close as he made you feel things that were sacred to him only. He was your light, your love, the best love you had ever known.

When it was all over, he laid beside you, hair messy, eyes soft. His arm was absentmindedly flung above your head, fingers brushing through your strands. It was a symphony of affection, the way he looked at you. Lying facing him, knees tucked slightly up with one arm covering your breasts and the other hand clasped with his free one between you. Your thumb traced his fingers, and he let you.

"Did it feel good?" he whispered, and you smiled at the concern in his tone.

Nodding slightly, you shifted, snuggling closer to him and enjoying the image of him, bare and settled on your rosy sheets. Even though he contextually didn't, for a moment he belonged here. In your bed, with you. "It was wonderful," you breathed, eyes sparkling.

Billy bundled you in his arms, kissing your temple and soothing a hand over your back. He murmured, "My angel."

It was sunrise before he left, not immune to your pleas for him to stay, but also wary of the setting. You sleepily watched him dress, burrowed in the covers of your bed, his spot still warm beside you; sheets rumpled, blankets folded aside. The brand-new morning light bathed him in an incandescent glow that made you question whether he was real.

He began to button up his shirt, and with every movement, you could feel the impending doom of his departure. When he retrieved his hat from the floor and tugged his boots on, you sat up, saddened and holding the sheets to your chest.

Billy sat on the edge of the bed, giving you an apologetic smile. "'M sorry, baby."

"It's okay," you said softly, thankful to even have had a few hours asleep in his arms. Billy stood, retrieving the nightdress you hadn't put away from the morning before, draped over a nearby chair.

He bunched it in his hands, holding it open. "Lift your arms f' me pretty. Don't want 'em to find ya sleepin' like this." You smiled, still half hazy from your previous unconscious state, raising your arms so he could pull the nightdress over your shoulders and guide your hands through the sleeves. When he'd pulled the garment down to at least your thighs, he gave you a fond look, pulling you in one last time and kissing your forehead, his nose brushing your hair. "I love you."

You picked at the embroidery on the covers, managing a sweet smile as he stood up, running a gentle hand down your face, lingering as long as he could. When he was halfway out the window, he blew you a kiss, softly saying, "I'll write."

And then he was gone, the sun peeking over the horizon where his body no longer blocked it.

The lively spirit of the night was present in everybody except for you.

You'd had your feet stepped on more times than you could count, nobles and lords feeding you lines that were meant to be charming but came across as unflattering. Standing there, in your pale rose gown that fell off your shoulders, cascading in ruffles to the floor in a full skirt, you had never felt more alone.

The music was wonderful, the dancing animated. Young women were chattering with surrounding nobles, and you wished them all the best. The king was seated on his golden throne to the right of you, and his stare was apparent, though you could not see it. Your hand, as usual, was on your heart-shaped necklace. Its previous owner was present, and when she had come to greet you as was custom, she had eyed it curiously, letting some subtly snide remark pass her lips. The whole interaction only made you miss Billy more.

You were painfully reminded of the night you'd met, of seeing his azure eyes under his mask, of the way he'd made you laugh in a way nobody had been able to since your father had departed for his battle.

Bowing your head and looking down at your feet, you took in a breath. The night was nearly half over, and you'd gotten through the first part. Perhaps you could find someone inconsequential to dance with. Looking up, you craned your head to see if there was a nearby gentleman you could approach, maybe pretend to flirt with so he'd ask you to take to the floor. Anything to remove yourself from the king's side.

From where you were standing, high upon the podium of a grand double staircase where partygoers came up one side and exited the other, a motion in the crowd was visible. Someone had arrived.

Your plans to find a dance partner were briefly scrapped as you smoothed your skirt, preparing a gracious nod in your repertoire. Expecting a lord of advanced years with a girl your age hanging off his arm, you lifted your chin.

Eyes widening, hand falling from your necklace to hang limply at your side, the sight was not at all what you had foreseen. Instead of an aged duke, the refreshing sight of Billy greeted you. Only he didn't look like Billy at all.

His hair was combed and smoothed, his usual outlaw's clothes replaced by ones of a finer manner. He looked so handsome, so at ease, like he'd been born into this world. As he walked through the crowd, heads turned, but his eyes were focused on you.

Ascending the stairs, he folded a hand over his chest, bending in a gallant bow. You had seen him do it so many times, which is how you realized this one was slightly mocking as he looked at Nicholas. It warmed your heart, and you held back a giddy smile.

"Your Majesty," he greeted the king. Then, turning to you, he lifted your hand to his lips, a spark in his eyes as he kissed it. "Princess."

You bent your knees slightly; a little curtsy. "My lord." Allowing the tiniest smile to lift your lips, you showed him your recognition.

Nicholas frowned at the newcomer. "You appear exceedingly familiar," he began. "Were you in attendance at the masquerade hosted here last year?"

"I was, sir," Billy nodded, and you bit the inside of your cheek. Nicholas wouldn't know that he likely knew his face from wanted posters.

"I remember him," you cut in, giving Billy a secret smile. "He was a wonderful dancer if I recall."

"If it isn't too bold," Billy responded. "Might I have a dance now?"

"You may," you said modestly, still holding his hand. He let go and offered his arm, which you gladly took.

Sweeping you up in a dance, Billy smoothly followed the steps, nearly making you swoon. As you twirled and clasped his hand, you whispered, "How ever did they allow you in?"

"It's amazin' what a little cleanin' up will do to a man, darlin'," Billy grinned, dipping you slightly. "Nobody's recognized me yet."

Laughing slightly and shaking your head, you squeezed your hand clasped around his. "I can't believe you've done this."

"But you're happy I did?" he questioned, twirling you again.

"Very," you nodded, smiling brightly.

The dance ended, and you curtsied to his bow. Billy kissed your hand again, the only part of you he could kiss at the moment without arousing suspicion. He held your hand between your bodies, searching your eyes. "Needa tell ya somethin'. Can we talk, sweetheart?"

"Of course," you nodded, letting go of his hand. Looking back at the king, you saw him whispering to a courtier, not sparing you a glance. Taking Billy aside, you stepped out into the empty hallway, hoping the king was still occupied. Truthfully, you weren't allowed to be alone with a man without a chaperone, but you were long past that with Billy.

The second you were alone he had you in a kiss, holding the side of your face. Pulling back with a smile, he murmured, "You're beautiful. Prettiest girl I ever saw."

"You look handsome," you whispered, fingering the collar of his shirt. "Where did you find these?"

"Few from a noble's house," he smiled. "Few from townspeople kind enough t' help me out. Told 'em I wanted to dress up for my girl." Billy settled his hands on your waist. "They remembered ya from the festival."

Giggling, you threw your arms around him, leaning in and kissing his cheek. Frowning, you drew back. "You shaved."

"Couldn't show up for my princess all scruffy," he mock-frowned. "Wouldn't be right."

"Oh!" you traced his newly smoothed cheek, eyes following your finger. Then you caught his eye again. "What was it you wanted to tell me?"

Billy looked you over, seeming to take you in as a spectator does a work of art. He brushed your hair behind your ears, pecking your forehead once. "I had a thought, baby, after the festival. 'n when you mentioned the ball I saw an opening. I'm already pretendin' to be a lord tonight. What if..." he swallowed, his hand finding rest on your cheek. You leaned into it, smiling softly. "What if I pretended a little bit more? 'n we went to the king 'n you told him you found someone?"

Lips parting slightly, you blinked a few times, astonished by his suggestion. He looked nervous for your reaction. Then, your face collapsed into a relieved smile, and you wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his neck. Through the sudden motion your tiara nearly fell off, but his hand came up instantly, steadying it on your head. You sniffled, weeping because he'd somehow managed to find a way to fix it all. "Oh, Billy."

"You wanna do it, sweetheart?" he questioned as you pulled back to look at him.

Nodding quickly, you squeezed his hand. "Yes. Yes, I want to."

Billy brought both his hands up to your face, kissing your forehead once, his touch full of joy. "By the time he figures out who I am it'll be too late, sweet girl. Maybe even by the time your father comes back."

"He'd like you," you smiled, knowing it to be true. Then your face fell slightly. "He'll be so upset to see what Nicholas has done to his people."

"I know, baby." He kissed both your cheeks, nudging his nose against yours. "But it's gonna get better."

"There have been whispers about him returning soon," you said softly, holding his wrists. "But I am unsure of their truth. I don't know if Nicholas would tell me if he received any word." Biting your lip anxiously, you felt panic start to overtake you. "Being out with you that night...seeing all these good people whom the current king has wronged, I... it's so awful, Billy-"

"Hey, hey, baby," he murmured, folding his body around yours in a comforting way. "It's okay. 'S all okay. That's what my men 'nd I are tryin' to right. We can only do so much but sometimes it's enough." Billy kissed your hair, burying his nose in it. "When your father comes back it'll get better."

The guilt of the crown was weighing on you, everything suddenly washing over your being. The chance of your birth had spared you, and that was the only difference between you and the women you'd met at the festival. You loathed yourself for not seeing it sooner- the effect the king's practices had on these good, hardworking people. So much so that they had to celebrate in secret the traditions of their town.

And the fact that Billy was at the center of it all made you feel blind. How could you have not seen it so clearly before?

"I'm sorry," you whispered, tears choking your voice. "I'm sorry I've been too privileged to see everything outside the castle walls. I do so want to help..."

"Oh, my baby," he muttered, hand holding the back of your head. Billy rubbed your back, rocking you back and forth soothingly. "Sweetheart...you've already done more than you know."

"By being naive?" you asked bitterly, hiding your face in his chest.

"By lovin' me," he whispered, and you lifted your eyes, clutching at his shirt. Billy's eyes were tender as he said, "Sweetheart...the idea that the princess could love an outlaw like me is unthinkable. Most would never think it possible. But you..." he shook his head, seemingly in awe. "You never judged. Your heart was open. That's more than most of the people in that room-" he nodded at the doors to the ball and you followed his eyes. "-could ever say."

"I wish to do more," you said softly.

Billy leaned in, pecking you once, then again. "You will. By marryin' me. That, sweet girl, that severs the line separating us."

You looked up at him with bright, loving eyes, feeling the truth of his words. Billy meant it. He had never said a thing to you that wasn't sincere. In a rush of passion, you pulled him down for a kiss, showing him how much it all meant to you.

It was needy, his hands gripping your waist as the rushed intensity of your love was mounted to this level. Soon, you wouldn't be separated, free to love in the daylight. He would be yours, golden and loving and free.

The doors burst open, and you automatically clung to Billy, terrified. When the king came forth, you were frozen, before remembering your lover's ruse. Straightening up, you still held his hand. "Your Majesty. This is-"

"I'm very aware of who this is," the king replied cooly as a pair of guards filed in, pulling Billy away from you and holding him stiffly by the arms, much to your horror. "Imagine that. An outlaw sneaking into the ball."

"He's a suitor like any other," you protested, going to Billy and taking his hand. You tried not to let your fear show.

"Hardly, for a woman of your status," the king glared. "I assume this is who you have been sneaking out to see? How common." His fierce gaze nearly pierced you. "Your night is finished. Take him to the dungeons."

"No!" you cried out, not caring if anyone behind the doors to the party heard. Billy tugged on your hand, trying to calm you, but your emotions were already in control. "Please...Your Majesty, he has done nothing wrong."

"The list of charges against his name would suggest otherwise," Nicholas replied cooly, stepping forward and grabbing your arm like a snake sinking its fangs into skin. "I hope you've had your fun- any chance of choosing for yourself is over. We are going back inside and promising you to the first prince I see."

Your breathing quickened, tears springing to your eyes. "Don't do this...let me go-!"

"I have been more-" Nicholas yanked you forward so you stumbled into his body. You immediately tried to distance yourself, his proximity making you shiver in the worst way. Gritting his teeth, he used his leverage on your arm to shove you to the ground. Your skirts spread around you, making a pathetic scene. "-than generous, allowing you to dally for this long. It is about time I took control you wretched-"

"Don't you-" Billy began to struggle against the guards, who stood steady, when the king began to insult you. Looking around at the chaos of the situation, your lower lip trembled. The love of your life bound and about to be imprisoned, and you the same in different circumstances. Mind racing, you saw only one solution, and it wrenched itself from your throat.

"I'll marry you!" you burst out, and everything stopped. Billy's movements hindered, and the king's grip on your arm loosened. When you had their attention, you steadied your breath, though tears were welling up in your eyes. "I will marry you if you let him go free. Just this once. He has not committed any crime on these premises. Let him go..." you turned to Billy, meeting his desperate eyes. "And he will never return."

"No!" Billy shook his head, beginning to resist the guards again. "Sweetheart-"

"Silence." Nicholas' voice was firm. He huffed a breath, looking slightly off put, but pleased nonetheless. The expression frightened you. He reached a hand down, smoothing over your bare shoulder and making goosebumps sprout from your skin. Nodding slightly, he said, "We will be married as soon as possible." Signaling to the guards, he barked, "Take him to the gates."

"Wait," you spoke up suddenly, and he turned to you. Fidgeting with your hands, you whispered. "A moment alone? Please?"

The king raised his eyebrows but gave a single inclination of his head. "For my future bride, yes." Waving a hand at the guards, he said, "Five minutes. And then make sure he leaves." Nicholas turned and left after that, giving Billy one final look of haughtiness. It was his childish last play. I have what you want.

When the doors were shut behind him, the guards stepped to the side, releasing Billy, who rushed to you immediately, kneeling beside you. In his arms before you knew it, your body shook, tiara falling from your head and landing with a soft thump in your skirts. He didn't bother to fix it this time.

"Sweetheart...my baby..." Billy was running his hands over your body, checking for any sign of injury. When he found none, he drew you tight against him, kissing your hair over and over. "My girl...you shouldn'ta done that. Shoulda just let me get caught, I woulda found a way out..."

"No," you shook your head tearfully. "He would have had you executed. I couldn't let him."

"My best girl," he murmured into your head. When you drew back to look at him, you could see that his own eyes were wet. "I'll find a way back to ya, I'll-"

"You cannot ever come back," you sniffled, voice hitching on your sobs. "I will be under strict watch once I marry him. It is too much of a risk. Please Billy, you have to promise me you won't ever return."

"Don't do this," he begged, holding your face in both hands. He kissed one cheek, then your nose, then your lips. Your eyes stayed open, and you felt a wave of pure sorrow descend over you at the longing he exhibited. "We'll find a way, baby. You 'n me, it's always you 'n me-"

"Billy?" you choked, and he stopped. Reaching up, you pressed a kiss to his lips; more passion-filled and full of light and all the most wonderful things than any you had shared before.

He returned it, and you swore you could feel his tears on your cheeks. Billy's lips caressed yours in a way you knew you would remember forever. Daylight no longer.

A guard cleared his throat, and you drew back slowly, knowing your time was up. Billy grasped at you as if he was committing your being to memory. "I love you, sweetheart. I'll never stop."

"I love you," you breathed as the guards moved forward, taking your lover by the arms and pulling him away from you.

You stared at them until they disappeared completely, then unsteadily picked up your tiara, settling it on your head. The princess once again. Not his princess.

Getting to your feet, tears falling, you made the journey to your room. Shutting the door, you wept openly, body wracked with your sobs as the gravity of what you'd lost overcame you.

Your love, your one love, detained by your only hate.

Marriage can either be a promise or a punishment.

Looking in the silver framed mirror in your bedroom, you held back tears at the sight of your reflection. Your dress was a stark white, though you knew with satisfaction that the virginal color was no longer appropriate. A tiny pink rose dotted the center of your neckline, your one say in the making.

The sky was grey, matching your somber mood with the promise of rain. At least it would match your tears later on tonight.

The king had insisted on marrying within a week, which surprised you. Knowing him, you would have thought that he'd want to show off, throw the most lavish ceremony anybody had ever seen. But instead, there were but a few witnesses to be present.

Turning your head to look around at your room, the pink no longer seemed cheerful. Once you married Nicholas, this would no longer be your space. Knowing him, he would force you to sleep in his bed. There wasn't a more dreadful place you could imagine.

Something caught your eye, and you moved toward it when you saw what it was. Your veil dragged behind you like a death sentence. A letter. The one from Billy you'd missed after spending the day with princes.

Snatching it up, you broke the seal, eager to read what were now his last words to you. Your eyes scanned the page, and impossibly, you felt more tears on your face. You'd cried so much over the past week, and the last line of Billy's letter made water push its way into your eyes once again.

My love, my life, my darling, I love you no matter what.

Covering your mouth, you turned away, eyes closing. Maybe you would appear at the alter with a tearstained face, but that was the least of your worries.

You couldn't do it. You couldn't promise yourself to a man you utterly despised when there was a man you loved right at your fingertips. Hang the law, hang Nicholas' will. You would run away with Billy wearing your wedding dress if you had to.

Scrambling to your desk, you grasped for your pink feathered quill, dragging stationary over and scribbling a quick note to Billy. You would bribe one of the maids to bring it to the place the doves were kept and send it.

There was a shuffling at your window and you jumped, eyes wider than the moon when you saw Billy of all people stumbling through. Leaping to your feet, you shook your head. "No. No! Billy you can't be here they'll hang you-"

"Darlin', listen," he interrupted, cutting you off and coming to grasp your elbows, his eyes excited. "I heard from a few folks 'round town- your father was spotted riding in. He's on his way home."

Gasping, you searched his eyes, finding truth. As if he'd ever lie to you. "He's coming home?"

"He's comin' home," Billy repeated, and you threw yourself into his arms, elated by his news. After nearly a year of being absent, of leaving you unintentionally to the mercy of a horrible man, your beloved father was returning. Though, you supposed, if it hadn't been for your father's departure, you never would have met Billy. And then the realization of what he'd done found you. He'd heard about this and then ridden all the way to tell you.

Smiling, you opened your mouth to say something, but then your face fell. "He...he didn't write me," you whispered, brow furrowing in confusion. "I thought he would have..." And then it hit you.

Billy frowned, holding you around your waist. "Sweetheart? What'sa matter?"

Staring at him, you took in a breath as you uncovered the truth. There was only one person who could have intercepted your father's letters to you, only one person who had motive.

A tidal wave of awareness overwhelmed you, filling your body with adrenaline. Despite the raging storm on your insides, you took in a breath, standing up straight. Calmly, you took his hand, giving him a sweet smile. "Come with me."

Still looking confused, he said, "Baby-" but you cut him off with a shake of your head, tugging his hand and pulling him along behind you, taking your bouquet of pink roses in your other hand.

"Trust me." you kissed his cheek, and he visibly melted, following along behind you and making sure not to step on the train of your dress.

The stares of the servants you passed in the hallway were ignored. You knew the two of you made an odd pair- the princess in her wedding dress and a famed outlaw. Nobody stopped you though, likely due to the look of raw determination on your face.

Kicking open the door to the chapel, you could feel Billy tense beside you, but he did not falter, staying at your side. Standing at the alter, you saw Nicholas turn, his face descending into a frown.

Taking a step forward, he nearly growled, "What is he-"

"My father is returning," you announced, your voice echoing in the nearly empty expanse of the palace's religious space. It would have been peaceful if it were not for your simmering anger.

Nicholas faltered, seeming shocked. "How-"

"You wanted to marry me as leverage," you spat, chest heaving as emotion overtook you. "To keep your power after my father returned. That's why you insisted on doing this so quickly, why you withheld his letters to me. Because you knew that if I knew he was coming home I would never marry you." Letting go of Billy's hand, you took another step forward, still holding your bouquet. "I will never-"

A sharp noise sounded in the pews as Nicholas brought his hand to your face, the force of the move sending you sprawling to your knees, bouquet dropped to the tile. You collapsed into your skirts, holding your reddened cheek and keeping your head down.

"Fuckin' bastard," Billy swore, getting to his knees and gathering you in his arms. You looked up at him, eyes wide, observing him glare at Nicholas.

He reached forward and yanked you from Billy's arms, making you stumble as you resisted. "Whether your father is returning or not, he isn't here now." Beginning to drag you to the front of the church, he gave a shout. "Guards! Arrest him!"

You cringed, waiting for the sound of boots on the checkered tile of the church floor. But they never came.

Looking up, your eyes darted from Billy to the nearby soldiers, waiting for them to seize him. Their stillness was eerie to you.

Finally one stepped forward, stick in his hand clicking as his brow furrowed. "Is it true that the king is returning?"

Reigning in your breaths, you nodded, stilling in Nicholas' grasp.

The man lifted his chin, looking at his fellow guards, who wore similar expressions. Then they all dropped their staffs, moving nearly in sync.

Bracing yourself for the sounds of your lover being captured, you were frozen with shock as they moved right past him, the one who'd spoken gently pulling you from Nicholas' grip.

He looked at the men, mouth slightly open as he watched their actions. "What-" A punch from another guard cut him off, and he fell to the ground, mouth bleeding onto the chapel floor.

The guard who had spoken nodded approvingly, commanding, "Take him away. The true king will decide his fate once he arrives."

A mix of relief and joy was filling you to the brim, and so too did the knowledge that Nicholas' reign of terror had finally ended. You turned to the guard to thank him, when he addressed Billy. "You provided the funds for my wife to receive help when she was ill." He began to walk you over to your lover, and you immediately latched onto Billy, burying your face in his chest. Your arms came around him, and the guard's next words were muffled as he said, "We had seen the both of you in the garden before. But the former king's word meant little unless it was a direct order."

Billy said something back to him, and the sound of footsteps retreating was heard, the shouts of Nicholas in the background silenced by the shutting doors.

Lifting your head to look at Billy, you felt a wide smile overtake you, and pure, unfiltered joy became your north star. He leaned in, pressing a series of kisses to your face and holding you tight in his arms. "Are you alright, baby? You hurt?" His hand felt your afflicted cheek, and you leaned into his touch.

"I'm okay," you whispered, seemingly unable to stop smiling. "I'm okay, Billy. For the first time in so long."

He shook his head in grateful disbelief, leaning in and raining soft kisses all over your face. "It's over, baby. It's all over. Oh my girl...my sweet girl..."

You wrapped your arms tight around him, feeling lighter than air, higher than the clouds. There was no title or rank now, only the clarity of the battle finally won.

Billy didn't seem to want to let go of you as he whispered into your hair, "Let's getcha back to your room 'n into somethin' else. Look so pretty, but I wantcha to be comfortable."

"You'll stay?" you questioned, looking up at him with doe eyes.

He smiled, chucking you under the chin and kissing your forehead. The spark of love in his eyes had become a raging wildfire. One you could cozy up next to for hours so long as you were in his arms.

"Darlin', I ain't ever leavin' again."

Sunlight was glorious.

Succumbing to its glow, you breathed in the fresh air, opening your eyes to fix upon the delicate willow leaves. The careful breeze made them brush slightly against each other, and your lips turned up slightly at the sight. Peace was settled over your being, gracing you and whispering that everything was okay.

Rolling your head to the side, your smile expanded, lips parting a bit as the sight of your lover greeted you. He'd been staring at you the entire time, his gaze lovingly devoted. No longer was he forced to exist only in the quiet nooks and hidden gaps between the weight of your royalty.

You reached your hand out, the ring on your finger glistening as you took his hand, clasping it in yours. Billy pulled you closer with it, letting go to lift you up onto him, legs slotted between his. He kissed your hair, breathing in the scent of the natural rose perfume the garden offered. Resting your head on his chest, you let the steady beat of his heart relax you even further.

"My wife," he murmured against your head, and you felt his gentlest of kisses raining on your skin. "My sweetheart..."

Giggling, you lifted your head. "Just because we are allowed to be together, it does not mean we can be so...open."

"Agree to disagree, darlin'," he said into your cheek, lips pressing into it. "Everyone knows we just got back from our honeymoon. 'Sides, we're alone out here. The roses don't mind a little lovin'."

Sitting up on his hips, you braced your hands on his chest before he came upright as well. "But someone could see us."

"Ahh, let 'em." He trailed kissed down your neck to your collarbone. "The king seems all too happy to have me as an in-law. We won't get in trouble."

You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck and just resting your head there. "He likes you."

"He likes that I make his daughter happy," Billy corrected, grinning.

"No, he does like you," you leaned up, kissing his cheek. He kept his scruff limited, but you still were able to enjoy the scratch of it. "You're so good. Better than many a man of the nobility."

He rubbed your cheek with his thumb, pecking your other one softly. When you were alone, it seemed to be hard for Billy to stop kissing you, even for a second. His nose poked your cheek as he trailed his lips over your face.

Snuggling closer, you burrowed your body right against his, so you were nearly one person. Billy cooed, holding you against him with a gentle hand on your back. "Sweet girl..."

"He's expecting us for dinner soon," you commented, still thinking of your father.

Billy chuckled, his fingers lightly running up and down your spine. "We'll make it in time. I wanna look at my wife some more."

"You look at me often," you laughed, looking up and giving him a chaste kiss.

"I've had to look atcha for so long in darkness," he started, suddenly rolling you over to an onslaught of giggles. Billy held himself up by his elbows, gaze almost permanently fixed on you. He brushed his lips over your nose. "Don't know if I'll ever get used to seein' ya in the sun. It's like seein' an angel." The last few words were spoken in a sort of quiet awe, and you couldn't help your soft smile.

"I love you," you breathed. You only got two words out before he kissed you, the last one spoken into his mouth.

"My princess," he muttered worshipfully. "I love you."

As the sun began to set, you let him soak up every last bit of the image of you in the light, kissing every inch of your face and torso. He was the hard-earned prize of your fruitful fantasies of knights and rescuers. In every way he had saved you, not treating you as a damsel in distress, but as a woman worthy.

In the blue of his eyes you found solace, in the space of his arms comfort. Billy had shown you your own personal world of stars, of things you had want of. He gave it all to you, every bit. The world was no longer limited, and you were not enclosed in the gilded cage of before.

He wrote your 'Once Upon a Time', sealing it with a storybook kiss and a flourished end. Your happily ever after.

Previous Part

[infamous-if]

I don't know if you're serious with MC being a loser or not. Anons point out how MC is a wet rag then you either agree that MC is a loser or "defend" MC with (what you might think as) silly replies. Take for instance the post you just made.

What is it then? Because damn, why would anyone want to play as a character like MC. I don't want everyone to bow down to MC and worship the ground they walk on, but its difficult to not see MC as this world class fuck-up when even you, the author, are so flippant about them.

With how you respond to asks, I can't remember playing a game with an MC as pathetic as this one.

??????? Why would I be serious about MC being a loser if I have applauded MC’s perseverance multiple times. Have even defended MC’s with essays on how hard MC works and grinds just to make their dream come true with their best friends.

And how is MC a “world class fuckup”? 😭 What has MC done that would classify them as a fuck up? Not be famous right out the gate? They have a fanbase, a manager quit his job to manage them, and they’re on the biggest music show on TV right now. That’s far from being a fuck up, and they’re doing it at 26 years old which is super young.

I don’t think people realize how demoralizing the music industry could be, which is why some of MC’s thought process can skew a bit negative because the industry does value new and shiny things to commodify, but that’s not MC’s fault.

I’m confused on how this makes MC pathetic and a “fuck up” when they’re miles ahead of many people who try to achieve their dream.

The miscommunication lies in how seriously you take me calling MC a loser. I call everyone a loser. I’ve called Seven a loser. I call myself and my friends losers. If I’m not answering a question about the story and I’m being lighthearted with anons, you do not have to take my word as law! It’s just me making jokes, I promise.

I took the previous anon as MC seeing their band breaking up with seven leaving, their odds at BOTB not being very great, them being accused of cheating, and no one really being in their corner (right now) before as MC saying “we suck right now but I will keep going” and thinking “aw my little loser” that’s all. But it’s my fault, definitely, because that ask can be taken very different ways so I should be mindful of that next time.

Tone definitely doesn’t translate through text but I don’t actually think MC is a failure fuck up that you’re trying to imply. And I still don’t see how MC, in any way, is a fuck up.

Also, I am not a serious person by nature and I respond to humorous asks with equally humorous behavior but that’s on me. I tend to forget that people make take it differently.

[serial-serializednovelreader]

What other novels to your inbox do you recommend? I have done Dracula Daily for years and I want to expand my horizon. War is pretty much the only thing that I don't like. Thanks

Hi!

So funny story, contrary to my username and bio…I have not been keeping up with the classic novels in my emails lately. BUT. That does not mean I don’t have some recommendations for you!

Also, since you did mention you don’t like war, I made sure not to recommend any novels that heavily involve war (War & Peace & Emails, for instance). However, I do know some characters in these recommendations have history with war (e.g. Watson was a war doctor) and I’ve made sure to make mention of that wherever possible. So, I apologize if that comes off as annoying or stating the obvious, I just want you to be fully informed before you read. I’m also listing general content warnings as a rule to inform anyone who might be interested in these Substacks. :)

On to the recommendations!

If you’re looking for mystery…

Learn about the greatest detective of all time from his faithful partner — that’s right! Read Letters from Watson to get the scoop on Sherlock and solve mysteries alongside the legendary duo. I thought this was such a cool concept and I wish I had been able to keep up with it. But it was very fun for the time I did. It goes through the entire chronology of Sherlock stories (which is a lot, by the way) and they just started going through the “more complex cases” (aka, the 4 Sherlock novels) back in January. So, it might be a good time to start! There isn’t war in these cases (at least as far as I know, each email does have a list of content warnings for specifics), but Watson was a war doctor and this does come up frequently, just as a heads up.

If you’re looking for epistolary stories…

Literary Letters takes obscure epistolary novels from the public domain and puts them into your inbox! Right now they’re reading The Sorrows of Young Werther, which is about a guy who’s in love with a girl who’s betrothed to another and writes very passionate letters on the subject.

For a content warning, I’ve included the publisher’s note on this one: “There are passages where the book discusses Werther’s depression, despair, rationalizations for suicide, and the suicide itself at length, so please take whatever precautions you need to read the book safely, which may include buddy reading, mental health breaks, or skipping it altogether.”

So with that being said, the reason I got into this email chain was actually for their first novel they emailed - The Lightning Conductor. I absolutely loved this novel and I heavily recommend going back into the archives to read it and its sequel if you can (that one is in the “Side Stories” archive). It’s a very lighthearted read and a romance, told in epistolary format! Basically, it’s about this smart (yet a bit scatterbrained — not judging, because, same) woman who goes to Europe for the first time and she ends up meeting a gentleman when her car breaks down. Said gentleman is mistaken for a chauffeur and he goes along with it, just because she’s dreamy and he’s already smitten with her. Then there’s her “best guy friend” and her mom trying to throw a wrench in their plans. It’s utter chaos and I love it. I could go on for hours about this novel, but I won’t! I do highly recommended reading it if you ever get the chance.

If you’re looking for a read in verse format…

Check out Divine Comedy Weekly! It’s telling Dante’s Divine Comedy every Tuesday and Thursday. There’s not much to say about this one because I dropped out pretty early in the game, unfortunately. For some reason, stories told in a lyrical/verse format don’t seem to be my thing, but maybe they’re your thing! I think it’s a great concept and for that reason, I will recommend this.

If you’re looking for an all-new read…

North and South by Jane Austen is coming to your inbox this June! It’s apparently a bit like Pride and Prejudice but with the Industrial Revolution and labor relations. I actually just subscribed to this one and I’m excited to see how I enjoy it!

If you’re looking for a long haul read…

Buckle in! It’s time for Whale Weekly! That’s right, you’re in for a THREE YEAR TRIP with this bad boy because Ishmael is emailing you the tale of Moby Dick. Life has gotten in the way and I’ve fallen behind (though this is motivating me to catch up again), but this is actually really good as an email read because this guy goes on so many tangents, it’s more fun for me to absorb his thoughts in spaced out emails, rather than if I tried to read the book.

The memes are very fun with this one, but please keep in mind there is racism and foul language in this, as well as other heavy topics I can’t remember off the top of my head. Also, this does not take place in a war setting, but I do believe some characters have been in war in the past, so that is probably something to keep in mind with this one!

This one is coming to an end fairly soon (I didn’t realize we were on chapter 113/135 OOF), so I don’t know if they’re going to do another round after this or leave it. I imagine it would probably be hard to catch up at this point, but I’m going to link it anyway because I typed all of this up before realizing how far along we were and I do still recommend the read in email format rather than a novel format.

If you’re looking for horror…

I would recommend “The Beetle Weekly”. I wasn’t able to finish this one because LifeTM got in the way, but it is, for sure, one of the reads of all time. Probably the best and worst thing you could read ever tbh. It’s not very enjoyable and I’m not pitching it well at all, but for some reason, I am legitimately recommending this because it is hilarious to read with Tumblr memes by your side. As a heads up, this book does include racism, gore, sexism, transphobia (iirc?) and likely more content warnings I can’t remember. The reason I’m recommending it at all is because it does carry some of the same themes as Dracula and the characters are interesting. Plus, love it or hate it, I reacted while reading this book - a lot. Did I mention I have a bug phobia? Also, fun fact: it was published at the same time as Dracula and was actually MORE POPULAR than Dracula for a while before fading into obscurity.

The only thing is, it did just end last April so you might have to wait until December for it to crawl back into your inbox if you’re interested.

If you’re looking for a thriller…

Jekyll and Hyde Weekly. I absolutely LOVED THIS ONE!!!! Very much vibes of Dracula Daily. Immaculate stuff right there. This one has a lot more comedy than you’d think and was very enjoyable. Content warnings for violence against a child (mentioned, not shown), body horror, and there is one more I can’t say without spoiling the book (feel free to DM me if you’re interested in knowing).

Again, this is pretty short and it’s not currently active; it runs November through January, so that’s when you can look out for it!

I was hoping to recommend some more via a masterlist, I know someone made a post waaay back in 2022 when this serialized email novel thing first got started, but it looks like it got deleted, so if there is a new one, I would love for anyone to share it just for future reference!

I do have a couple of honorable mentions I’ll link that I haven’t read and know next to nothing about, but just so you can have even more recommendations. Please feel free to share your favorites!