#bff who constantly ends my friendship

[reisakumaproducer]

can we do this on tumblr

[dumplingsfordays]

the phone call

pairing - Megumi x fem!reader

genre - smut

summary - you call Megumi one night in hopes of changing your relationship from being best friends to lovers and it ends very unexpectedly.

cw!: nsfw (sexual themes), mutual masturbation, pet names (sweetheart, baby), bffs to lovers, reader has female genitalia, swearing, timeskip to all characters 18+, one (1) mention of voyeurism + hair pulling + tummy bulge

note - back (sorta?) from my hiatus but I won't post content as frequently. sorry to all you beautiful people who submitted asks 😭😭 I'll make sure to do those fics asap b/c y'all are honestly lovely and overall really respectful and I appreciate it! thank you sm for being patient w/ little old me <33

art credit!

and as always, thank you for reading :))

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Quiet sighs escaped Megumi's lips in tandem with the soft breeze outside, whistling against the glass windowpanes. Moonlight drifted across his fair cheek like a silvery veil, making his pale skin glow slightly, and his long eyelashes, a trait that wasn't his favorite but one that almost every girl constantly pointed out with jealousy, fluttered when they met the edge of the light. And then, in the peaceful summer night-

Bzzt. Bzzt.

The raven-haired man sat up in his bed with sudden urgency, hand moving quickly to his phone on the nightstand and picking up.

"Hey, 'Mimi," your sleepy, half-awake voice came from the speaker. "Sorry to bother you but it's kinda important."

Upon hearing your voice, he relaxes - he lays back down and stares at the blank, white ceiling. "Yeah?"

"Uhm, I just wanted to talk to you about something..."

God, your sleep-laced voice was so gentle, sweet, alluring, even. He couldn't help but sneak a hand towards his abdomen to lay it on his stomach.

"Hey, 'Mimi, you there?" You ask all of a sudden.

"Oh, uh, yeah, I'm listening, don't worry."

You must be at your desk working, then, he thought, since you're up this late. Wait, no -- he heard the shuffling of bedsheets or something similar a moment ago. That was you, right? Were you also in bed? Did you also have the ghost of a smile dancing on your lips? Was your hand also laid down on your abdomen? Was it slowly creeping further and further down, until-

He shakes his head, rousing himself from his thoughts.

God, Megumi, what the hell are you thinking? They're your best friend, nobody thinks about their best friend getting off!

...Well, something about that scene was... arousing, almost, to him. The mere thought of you, laying on silk bedsheets and rubbing your clit to his voice, sent a shiver up his spine and he snaked his hand under his boxers. Well, guess he was doing this.

"So, um..." you continued, sighing, "I was thinking. I know that it's probably too late into the night to even be discussing this, but..."

"Yeah?"

He lets out a small grunt afterwards as his fingers come into contact with the sensitive skin of the tip of his semi-erect length.

"...are you okay, 'Mimi? Are you working out or something?"

"Ah, no, I'm just..."

Just, you know, casually touching myself to the sound of your voice. Nothing wrong with that at all. There's definitely nothing wrong with jacking off to your best friend's voice.

"Just, um. Moving my, uh..." His eyes glance around the room and lock onto the bedside table. "My table."

There's a small lilt to your voice as you laugh softly and clear your throat before speaking, and Megumi swears that he just got lightheaded from the rush of blood to his nether region.

"Okay... I was just thinking about, well... this. Our friendship."

He tries not to sound too strained and breathy when he replies, starting to slowly move his fist up and down his leaking cock. "What about it?"

"Well, I think that, um.. you're a really nice person. And I really like you. And recently, I was thinking about what it would be like if we, um..."

You pause, biting your lip. Should you really finish your sentence? What if he takes it the wrong way?

"You can say it. I won't judge, y/n."

"Thank you..." you laugh briefly and breathlessly, fidgeting with the skin on your torso. His words were innocent, but it was the tone in which he was speaking that made your thighs twitch slightly and your mouth dry up. Christ, Megumi always made you feel things that you knew you shouldn't be feeling towards a friend who probably only liked you as one. "I, well... I was thinking that it would be nice if we hung out at some point. Maybe, like... go out on a date, or something... I understand if you don't like me in that way, or if you're too sleepy to decide yet, but I just wanted to put that out there..."

His eyes widen a bit as he hears the word "date", and he subconsciously tightens his grip around himself, Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallows. So you were interested in him, too.

"I'd... I'd love to."

He forces down a quiet groan as he hears the pitch of your voice rise slightly in excitement. Unbeknownst to him, your hand slides down your lower abdomen, gliding across your upper thigh.

"R-really? You're not kidding or anything, right? I mean, like... please don't worry about making me feel good about myself or anything, just..."

You hear him laugh softly on the other end, which makes that spot between your legs throb even more intensely.

"Of course," Megumi replies, trying to sound as put-together as he can. "I won't lie to you about stuff like that."

Smiling, you sigh in relief and your hand comes into contact with your inner thigh. After a brief pause, he speaks up again, his voice a little deeper.

"So.. anything fun happen recently in your life? Any new books you've read, or interesting gossip you've heard?"

Your head tilts to the side as a scenario pops into your head at his words. Him, laying next to you, whispering into your ear as his fingers caress your--

"Nope..." you laugh, a little shakily due to the intrusive thought. "But there was this one thi--"

He makes a quiet noise of pleasure and you choke, your fingers finally touching your slick cunny and rubbing it gently.

"...M-Mimi, did you... are you...?"

"Christ, I'm sorry, I-- fuck. I'm sorry, y/n, I didn't-- God, I..." he sighs, regret clear in his tone as he apologizes. "You probably think I'm some creep or something now. Feel free to cancel the date, I don't deserve it anyway after all this."

You swallow and you feel your face redden in embarrassment before answering, whispering.

"Actually, I... I, um, I'm not mad. I-I'm doing the same."

"What?"

His reply is instantaneous, his voice a mix of nervousness, shock, surprise, with the undeniable tinge of arousal. You were going to be the death of him someday.

"I-I'm doing the same. I know it's weird, I..." you trail off, sighing. "I'm sorry too."

"Can we..."

Megumi's trembling all over now, his cock unfathomably hard and standing up at attention in his fist, which begins to pump up and down a little more rapidly. You can hear it very faintly from your phone and you practically gush at the sound.

"...can we, um... keep doing this? And talking? I just... I think that since you're interested in me and I in you, we can satisfy our urges, I guess..."

"Please," you shiver, voice getting softer and more desperate as he talks.

"Fu-uck..." he groans out, biting his lip and looking down at himself. He decides to finally remove his boxers and strokes himself under the blanket, leaning into his phone's microphone as he pants softly.

You, in your own bed, whimper at the expletive -- you knew his voice was attractive, but this? Him swearing, and in that rough yet pleading tone, too, made you unimaginably wet.

"Can you... can you describe it? Please?" you choke out, toes curling as your fingers press against your clit slightly.

You hear him groan at your words again before he replies.

"I-It's standing up real tall 'n warm, sweetheart... it's fucking throbbing, all for you... God, I just wanna bend you over and... shit... just shove my cock into your tight pussy..."

You moan quietly as you imagine the absolute filth of the scenario, how deep his thick cock'll reach inside you... he'll probably be thrusting into you so hard that people on the street will hear the rhythmic slaps of skin on skin from the window of your bedroom all the way up on the fifth floor. And, oh, God, what if he grabs your hair and pulls on it, twisting your back and pulling his face closer to yours to meet you in an intense kiss, teeth clacking and tongues intertwining in this passionate dance for control?

"You're gonna feel so good around me, baby... maybe clench as I play with your clit and press my hand to your stomach to feel that little dent of my cock... you're gonna feel so fucking warm and wet around me..." Megumi groans loudly as his hand does a particularly satisfying stroke around his length, smearing slightly sticky precum in his fist. "Christ, I can already imagine it... I'm so fucking close..."

"Me too," you cry out, rubbing tight circles around the sensitive skin and thighs quivering from the electrifying pleasure. "I'll feel so good, 'Mimi, so full..."

His fist travels up to his tip, continuing the up-and-down motion as he moans shakily. "y/n-- I-I'm gonna-- fuck, think I'm gonna come--"

You whimper in reply, toes curling and forearm flexing. At long last, that wave of heat crashes down on you both, him groaning shamelessly as thick cum spurts from the red tip and onto his fist, and you gasping for air, moaning as you reach your respective peaks. Your body trembles as you're thrown around mercilessly by your orgasm and he can tell very clearly by your voice -- it's high-pitched, desperate, and borderline wanton.

As you both calm down from your highs, the movements of your hands and arms gradually slowing down, you giggle breathlessly.

"This was... ah, certainly something..."

You hear his voice, deep and comforting as he chuckles, through your phone speaker.

"Indeed it was."

"...But we're still going on that date, right?"

Megumi laughs. "Obviously."

[didyoulookforme]

nsfw alphabet: cute & soft matty healy x fem reader

so, i'm not a writer whatsoever, but i have thoughts (a lot of them smutty tbh) about a certain matty healy and wanted to jot them down as i need to try and get them off this brain of mine.

i have a type and it's middle part sometimes straight hair sometimes curly silver chain baggy clothes wearing matty, who in my head appears shy and innocent at first due to his fidgety demeanour (eg. running hands thru his hair constantly, mindlessly biting his bottom lip, repeatedly tapping his foot, etc.) but is actually very opinionated and witty with the people he’s close to, including you. he’s been your bff for years but is afraid of taking it further because he adores you and doesn't want your friendship to be ruined due to his big feelings towards you. he loves to hug you to feel you close and breathe in your scent, but honestly, he doesn't (or tries to not) have much physical contact with you otherwise because his mind, heart, and body cannot take it. he's enamoured by you and has been for years now to the point where he is 96.7% sure he's really, really in love. that's how it all starts and you do eventually end up together, but it takes some time... oh, and he has a crazy sex drive and lots of dirty thoughts about you. a shy romantic horny opinionated man who is mostly a sub.

nothing super unique, just mostly here for the soft bf matty vibes because we all deserve one of those.

(sorry in advance for all the grammatical errors, typos, and run on sentences. i'm not a proofreader.)

warnings: 18+, lots of smut with some fluff. this is too fucking long lol

(not quite) sfw version here

matty healy masterlist here

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a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

this boy lives and breathes to take care of you, before, after, and during sex. anything he can do to make you feel safe, loved, satisfied. but his favourite form of aftercare is, hands down, using his mouth and tongue to make sure you're all clean. after he does so, the little ritual continues by spending time just softly kissing each other's lips. you both indulge in the lingering taste of each other's cum, but there's nothing dirty or aggressive about it. it's all gentle, a sweet reminder that you belong to each other.

b = body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

if matty were to choose his favourite part of his body, it would be his arms. after all, there's a reason why he keeps decorating them with tattoos. makes him feel confident about himself and, honestly, doesn't mind all the compliments either. bless him. but he also has grown to appreciate his unruly curly head of hair, the reason being that he knows how much you like it after all the tantrums you throw whenever he cuts it. before you get together, you only play with it when you're too drunk or high, but when you do so it makes his heart grow.

his favourite part(s) of your body are your hands. so delicate with silver rings adorning almost every finger. it's difficult for him to not watch when you rub them against each other when you're nervous. or how your hand finds itself in front of your mouth whenever you laugh too hard at his nonsense. he knows you prefer dark nail polish vs. lighter coloured ones. he has imagined countless times how your hands would feel on him. sigh. he worships those hands of yours and would kiss then every single second if he could.

after you do get together, he realizes that, as cliché as it sounds, he loves your cunt. for one, when he first saw you completely naked he thought he could just die happy right then and there. but that was until he got to taste you and decided he'd much rather be alive as he could never have enough of your sweetness. and how it perfectly fits around him? he swears he’s the luckiest motherfucker alive.

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

oh god. don't let the shy boy act fool you. he is FILTHY. it took a few months for this side of him to show, but you are over the moon when you find out how enthralled he is when he sees his cum dripping out of you. it all started one afternoon when you were riding him (his fav position of course, see letter f below). he finished inside you, his head thrown back over the couch while trying to catch his breath. after a few minutes, you raise your hips to pull away and carefully sit right below his stomach, making sure not too hurt him. once his breathing is back to normal, he looks back at you with those sweet tired eyes, gaze travelling down your body and ending at your spent core, where he notices beads of his white cum running down your cunt. the sight is almost too much for him, poor matty. he bites his bottom lip hard to stifle his whimpers, but somehow gathers enough courage to ask if he can touch you ("sorry sorry sorry i know it's gross. fuuuck. forget i said anythi--" "matty, calm down, baby. my sweet boy, it's okay. you can do it. i want you to.") his mind goes haywire when he brings his thumb to touch you, picking up a bit of his cum which he then rubs on your clit in small, gentle circles. sigh. but yes, cum is involved and you both love it. that's that.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

before you were officially dating, you once left a black shirt at his place, one of your favourites in fact! don't really know the specifics of why or how it happened, but you left it there and he found it. his sensitive soul found it difficult not to immediately grab it and put it against his face to smell your lingering scent. but it didn’t take long for his horny mind to take over and wrap the piece of cloth around his cock and get himself off. before he realized what he was doing, he had already stained your shirt and the shame he felt was unreal to the point where he could not look you in the eye next time you saw each other. “oh, btw, i think i left my top at yours. do you think you can bright it next time?” his face had never been more red in his entire life lol. it wasn’t until you were together that he confessed to it when you were playing an nsfw version of truth n dare in your living room because you were both drunk as fuck.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

okay. so believe or not, this matty doesn't really do hookups. he's in a famous band, yeah, but he's not really looking to get off with people just for one night. he will only do it if he feels a spark with someone on some level other than physical attraction, but he prefers the intimacy and closeness that comes with a relationship. because of this, he hasn't had too many different sexual partners, but during those few relationships he worshipped his other half and did everything he could to learn every single little thing about how to please her in the best way possible. it takes him time to get there with every gf, but once he knows what you like, you will never be dissatisfied. tl:dr not too much experience when it comes to body count, but will excel A++++ all around with the partner he's currently with.

f = favourite position (this goes without saying)

without a doubt, you riding him while he’s sitting up. can be on the sofa, your favourite dining chair, the edge of your bed (his preferred place), the back of the tour bus, you name it. this man loves close skin-to-skin sweaty contact. he is eager to keep you near when you grind yourself on him, one arm tight around your mid back, the palm of the other gripping your ass, guiding your hips back n forth. this way he can also keep kissing your face, neck and shoulders whenever he wants to and feel your tits against his chest. it also allows him to look up at you as you bounce up and down his cock, this which might be one of his favourite sights in the entire world, just as if he were worshiping you.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

for the most part the sex is a calm, sensual endeavour, but if something happens like his fingers getting tangled in your hair, him kissing your teeth, you accidentally tickling him, he'll be adorable and smile, letting out a soft laugh. you love that he's vulnerable enough to chuckle at a small mishap rather than him getting frustrated. he's too damn cute. you can barely handle it.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

sweet matty knows you love going down on him (which he thanks his lucky stars is a real thing as he cannot get enough of your lips around him) so he tries to keep himself trimmed down there. you couldn't care less tbh but it's cute and rather hot to see him that invested in thinking of what will be best for you and your pleasure. funny enough, you would've never thought he did so given his current nonchalant way of dressing (baggy clothes, torn band shirts, messy gelled hair). but this boy does like to keep you guessing after all.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he cannot possibly be close enough to you (re. his favourite position being you riding him). you are his world and will hopefully always be, even if he had to wait what felt like a lifetime to finally have you romantically and sexually. both of you prefer slow and sweaty sex whenever possibly, filled with lots of sweet words and love you's and him nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck while you run your fingers through his hair. he's a shy horny romantic at heart.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

our boy here has undoubtedly gotten off at the thought of you many, many times before you get together. whether it is him reminiscing about a certain memory and/or looking at photos of you, he's certainly done it. he's also been caught by adam when he's not-so-silently moaning your name while he's no-so-silently jacking off during tour. but because adam is a sweet soul and understands the hardships of missing the person you love, he doesn't give him too much grief over it (unless matty is getting on his nerves).

now, when you do end up together, there's a time when the two of you are high (you do that a lot), giggly, care-free and the topic of masturbation comes up for some reason. this is when it is confessed that you both had (obviously) gotten off at the thought of each other pre-dating and that ends up turning both of you on to the point where one of you suggests if you can watch each other do it. so that happens and mutual masturbation continues to be thing in your relationship.

and of course, matty still masturbates many times while he's away because you end up sending him short snippets of you pleasuring yourself. so he cannot help himself.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

it’s all about praising. he loves it. you love it. it's a win win situation for both parties involved and it couldn't be more perfect. because he can sometimes get nervous, your praises make him feel at ease. call him a sweet boy (his fav) and you’ll have him at your mercy. on the other hand, if you refer to him as a good boy, he will almost devour you alive.

one summer you were playing fetch with mayhem in the park “aww! who’s a good, sweet boy!?” and for some reason matty started chocking on the coke he was drinking “are you okay?” “yeah yes. cough. ‘s nothing. wrong pipe” “hm, okay if you say so.” five minutes pass and mayhem is cuddling with you while you scratch his ear “such a sweet, pretty baby boy, aren’t you mayhem? yes, of cour—wtf matthew, are you sure you’re alright?” you look back at him as he’s trying to aggressively clean the coke he spat out and landed on the crotch of his pants. after that you notice that he not-so-subtly tries to readjust his baggy jeans ever so often. you get a sneaky suspicion of what might’ve happened, but it isn’t until you are together for a few months that you test out your theory and praise him and he literally comes undone seconds after the words leave your mouth. he’s almost too much <3

l = location (favourite places to do the do)

vanilla answer, but your bed. the fact that he can have you in the place where you sleep just drives him crazy with lust. it's your space. it smells like you. you spend endless hours there resting, facetiming him, watching tv, (as well as pleasing yourself). so yes, your bed is a sacred temple to matty. amen.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

before sex: wear any of his clothes and that's almost a sure way to get him turned on. especially his jumpers and shirts. once upon a time you two + the rest of the band went swimming. after you got tired of everyone cannonballing into the pool (because they're grown men boys), you stepped out and wanted to get out of your wet swimsuit asap because you hate the feeling of wet clothes on your skin. without really thinking, you just grabbed his jeff buckley shirt (i love jeff buckley btw), put it on, and since it is way larger on you that it is on him, you thought "lalalala i'm just gonna remove my swimsuit here since this shirt is roomy and no one will be able to see anything." as you're doing so, george has matty in some sort of headlock (because, again, boys) but as he's struggling to get out of it, his eyes end up in your direction as you're pulling the suit bottoms down. this makes him tense up and freeze in place, so now george has the upper-hand and submerges him underwater. when matty comes back to the surface, he's outta breath, huffing and puffing, and none made easier because (unbeknownst to you) your wet body and swimsuit have made his white jeff buckley shirt see though. and since then he cannot get enough of you wearing anything of his.

during sex: pull on his hair when you're riding him and it's game over. he'll immediately get a goofy toothy grin on his face while bitting his bottom lip and adoringly look at you thru half lidded eyes as if there is nothing better in this life (because of course, nothing compares 2 u).

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

absolutely nothing that could possibly hurt you too seriously. you two eventually get into some harsher tendencies and kinks, but it's always consensual. he'd never forgive himself if he caused you unwanted pain.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he absolutely loves both. he swears there is no better feeling than having your warm mouth around him but he's never too pushy or needy about it. you of course enjoy it too, but the best part about it is just seeing him come undone as he gets loud, sweaty, and shaky which is a sight you'll never grow tired of. and as mentioned on letter b above, he enjoys your cunt A LOT so he'll never miss an opportunity to go down on you. that tongue of his? unreal. but he's definitely noticed that your favourite is when he sucks on your clit so he spends majority of the time doing that. imagine you sitting on the edge of your bed, him shirtless kneeling down with your legs over his shoulders, and his head between your legs while his lips are wrapped around you, gently sucking and licking while you gently pull on his hair and tell him he's your sweet boy. it's heaven for the both of you.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

more often than not, it’s slow and sensual as that’s something that both of you really enjoy. from one romantic to another, you cannot get enough of the passionate sex.

HOWEVER, fast and rough comes into play whenever he gets jealous as he cannot help himself. but it's not in a hard, mean dom type of way. more in a "i'm all yours. i want to make you feel so damn good and please you so you don't look at anyone else. please do anything you want with me" type of way. the first time he ever wants to have rough sex, he acts all shy and nervous when asking you if it's okay as it's not his norm. but you're there to guide him through and make it easy for him. <3

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

not really your or his thing, tbh. reason being that if you have sex, it never ends up being quick. you'd much rather be late to the event or appointment than to rush it. the amount of times he's been late to soundcheck is alarming, but it's not like they can kick him out of the band, right? one time when he walks into the rehearsal, flustered and with hair all over the place, he sees george about to mock him but matty beats him to the punch. "before you even fucking start, yes, i was having sex before this. yes, it was amazing. yes, i know i'm late again. that's it. i'm sorry. let's carry on." but the thing is that a sexually satisfied matty = amazing gigs, so the others cannot fault him.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he’s down to try anything but only if you discuss it first so both of you are comfortable. again, he may look and act shy most of the time (especially with people he doesn't know too well) but he's known you for years so he's super comfy with you, thus he's game to do anything which might bring you pleasure as long as he doesn't seriously hurt you (as mentioned in letter n) because he wouldn't be able to deal with causing you any sort of lasting pain.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

tbh one of the other main reasons he goes to the gym (see letter x) is so he can last longer for you. you both have insatiable sex drives (see letter y) so he wants to keep fit in order to try and fulfill any and all desires you might have. once you get together, it's no secret to any of your friends that you have a VERY active sex life that they can only dream of and matty loves to remind them that they’re just jealous when they do make fun of him for it. he’s cute.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he didn’t think much about them at first UNTIL that one night he was over at your place and opened up your bedside drawer, hehehe. so hear me out... our boy loves getting high (especially with you) so he asked if you had any weed as he very surprisingly (i know, i'm shocked, too) forgot his own. you just looked at him with wide eyes like “whoa, wait. you forgot? are you okay?” while you jokingly felt his forehead to see if he was ill. he gently swatted your hand away and squinted in mock annoyance, “fuck off... but really, do you have any?” :insert big brown caramel puppy eyes: you motioned over to your bedroom and told him that your stash was in the drawer of your bedside table. he struts over, nonchalantly, humming a tune that’s been stuck in his head since that morning because you’d been listening to it nonstop. he gets to your room, stares at your comfy bed wishing he could sleep with you, in both senses of the word, because he's head over heels for you. he'd do anything and everything you'd ask him faster than the words could even leave your mouth. he sighs, knowing that couldn't happen because you weren't his gf :( anyway, he bends over to open the top drawer of your left bedside table and start shuffling around to find nothing but books, notebooks, photos (including one of him napping, awe). he moves on to the second drawer to find a black lidded box which he opens and to his surprise (or dismay) finds your toys which causes him to almost drop the box altogether. his eyes gaze over each of the vibrators and other small devices in there and he cannot help but think of you using them on yourself. siiiiiiiiigh. a "did you find it, matty?" is screamed by you which causes him to instantly come back down reality. the box is put away and he speed walks out of the room, heading straight for the kitchen to get a glass of water to hopefully rehydrate his desert dry throat after his discovery. "well, did you find it?" "nope, changed my mind. don't want any weed. i'm okay. i'll just drink my water. here. in the kitchen." when in reality he was standing behind the bar so you couldn't see how rock hard he was. fast forward to right before you go to bed that night, you want to get yourself off so you go to find your fav toy when you see that the box is on a weird angle with the lid not fully closed. then it dawns on you why matty had to very abruptly leave that evening.

BUT ANYWAY, after you get together and your enjoyment for toys is out in the open, he loves using them on you which is a huge turn on for you because it shows that the seemingly shy boy is actually super confident when it comes to your sex life together.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

much like the cum play (see letter c), it took a bit for matty to feel comfortable enough to be a tease while you were having sex. he's not too much of a dirty talker (if you haven't noticed yet, he's a sub in this world of mine, sorry) BUT he eventually finds out that you love begin edged. so yeah, he has fun with that, going down on you over and over again until you are screaming.

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

poor matty tries to stifle his moans, whimpers, and any other sounds that come out of his mouth but it doesn't work well for him as he always ends up being the loudest out of the two of you. this is another thing his bandmates always tease him about, as they can always hear when he's getting off on the tour bus or having sex with you in another room. and this is another instance where he reminds his mates that they're just jealous because of his amazing sex life.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

remember how i said i have a type and he's a chain wearing matty? well, once you both start having sex, he very quickly finds out you fucking love pulling on that chain to bring him closer to you. he also notices how you tend to kiss around the area where in sits around his neck. your obsession about it becomes 100% confirmed when he sees that the background of your phone is a photo of him shirtless but still wearing that silver chain. so he knows that he always has to wear it, a quiet sign that you control him. but one morning after his shower, he comes running to the living room, huffing and puffing that he cannot find his necklace until he looks at you. you just smirk and wink at him when he sees the chain around you. oh, he doesn't know what he's in for.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he once heard you say how you were starting to find "more conventional, muscular men" attractive so he took this as his cue to immediately look up the number of the best and closest personal trainer he could hire. fast forward six months and you're at his flat, drinking and listening to music with the band. who knows what happens (probably george's fault) but matty ends up spilling his glass of wine all over his shirt. UGH. "fuck me. it's embarrassing how many clothing items i've ruined 'cause of this expensive habit." you laugh loudly at him, obviously, but karma gets you once he takes off his ruined top so he's just standing there in his dangerously low rise grey joggers. that shuts you up as you just stare at the muscles on his back and the mostly defined v shape above his crotch. matty leaves the room to get a clean shirt without noticing you basically drooling over him. however, perceptive handsome ross does pick up on the vibes and teases you for the remainder of the evening.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

high. higher than anyone you've ever been with and you're thankful for it. albeit it is PAINFUL when he's away on tour for months at a time, especially when you cannot go and see him :( no matter how many photos or videos you send each other, it's never enough to satiate you desire to have him close to you. the only silver lining is when you both do end up back together, as you both know you won't be sleeping that night and won't be going anywhere else the day after.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

once the soft making out session is done (see letter a), he's gone. he's a sleeper. he's a napper. he's the big spoon and holds you close, lazily kissing the back of your neck before he settles himself against it. again, he's all about that close contact, gotta love him. but give him 3 minutes MAX and he'll be out. a tired boy has to rest, i guess <3

--------

ALRIGHT. that's enough for me rambling. not sure if anyone will see this but my mind feels about 12% lighter for now. until the next brain rot takes over.

if you happened to make it this far, you're a gem. thank you. you're the best. and i'm always free to talk about this man and smutty thoughts about him!

[breadnauppercrust]

some designs i came up with for the girls in miraculous. the idea was 'what if they could have multiple outfits like sailor moon, as told by ginger, or totally spies?' and 'what if their clothes reflected their story arc?' however, i kind of gave up on them because i no longer have time to work on it as much as i would like to, so below this are copy+paste from my wip instagram account. lowkey its fanfiction-y lol

Alya:

Alya redesigns! tbh don’t know if they’re cohesive but 🤷‍♀️

S1: dresses for comfort & is geeky - think DrWho/Marvel/Tumblr. Obsessed w superheroes & has dedicated blog for each one, & that includes LB. Beginning of her & Maris friendship, starts to dates nino halfway s1.

S2: Mari influences her way of dress, still geeky but experimenting w clothes. Ladyblog becomes popular, interested in finding out her secret ID. Is also investigating akumas, HM, The Who/what/where/whys. Lowkey figures out who ladybug is but doesn’t say anything. Has been given fox miraculous at least a couple times.

S3: notices changes in Maris behavior & confronts her. Becomes fox miraculous holder full time, helps LB figure out who HM is & shares all the info she’s found. CN lowkey pushed to the side, causing friction, bc wrapped up w finding out who HM is ig. Constantly wears a Fanny pack now for trixx. Goes w comfortable but stylish clothes (ig lol idk) also at this point is BFF w Mari

Chloe:

S1: wears preppy designer brands to impress mom, despite living in diff countries. Basic mean girl, her only friends being Sabrina and Adrien - whose a childhood friend & lowkey helped him attend school. Both know how it feels to “lose” a parent & Adrien has seen a softer side of her. Probably has a crush on him ig. Maris bully, jealous of her talents at sewing & making friends easily, & prob her knit tight family.

S2: still preppy but w 60/70s inspo. Given bee miraculous a couple times, has resisted akumas - info she uses to help others later. Helping ppl & being somewhat nice makes her feel good & likes the appreciation from others+LB. Maybe Mom moves back to Paris w half sister, Zoe - might be significantly younger than Chloe idk. Didn’t like her at first but warms up to her as season goes on. Sees lil sister copying her & their mom, has an epiphany ig. Connects dots on akumas & feelings & tries to be better.

Should Zoe exist tho??? idk

S3: preppy but more casual. She’s nicer but still sarcastic, has made a few new friends, treating Sabrina better. Still trying to get moms approval tho & follows her around, even to fashion things w the Agreste. Notices Gabriel is acting strange, more distant towards Adrien, doesn’t notice what he’s doing or where he’s going. pt queen bee ig, probably given towards the very end of the season tbh by Adrien/CN after being ignored by LB bc of RR involvement w finding out HM id. AND noticing Chloe change significantly in the past several months (?) does Adrien reveal to her IDK he is still loyal to LB but eH

Mari:

1st Mari is shy, her outfits are safe & she kind of disappears in a crowd. She just became 🐞 & isn’t 💯 with her role yet. She’s designed and made her own clothes but doesn’t wear them outside of the house bc Chloe, oof

2nd she’s now comfortable being 🐞 & that boosts her confidence as Mari, she’s wearing more bold colors & outfits that she may or may not have designed herself 👀

3rd 🐞 is now the guardian of the miraculous box, has bigger responsibilities & problems to deal with. Being 🐞 has creeped into her daily life. Doesn’t have time to design/make clothes so wears w/e, but tries to appear happy.

Kagami:

i like the idea of kagami being prim and proper looking all preppy at the beginning, but after making friends she starts to rebel by modifying her school clothes w accessories but eventually wears w/e she wants w a punkish vibe. lowkey worried about falling into a trope so idk

[sarah-yyy]

a few of y’all have asked me about new life begins, and i’m procrastinating over work so............

BASICALLY this story revolves around the royal family of xinchuan (head of the nine states). xinchuan has a tradition wherein the other eight states send eligible women over to marry the xinchuan princes. the show opens with all these women coming into xinchuan for this selection

this is our main character li wei

bbg does Not want to be selected as a bride for any of the princes. she comes from jichuan (one of the least wealthy states, most of them are farmers) wherein people marry for love and men aren’t allowed to have concubines, she is Not Into this xinchuan polygamy bs, and is doing all she can to be sent back home asap so she can live her chill life

this is the sixth prince yin zheng, unloved (for now!) and mostly unnoticed (also for now!!) son of an unfavoured concubine. he’s introduced as being sickly and of little note in the political field. he mostly gets along with his brothers by virtue of having little interaction with them and keeping a real low profile

this boy is way smarter than he presents to outsiders!! he knows that the least favourable political marriage will be assigned to him, so he figures he might as well get ahead of it and voluntarily ask for the nominee from jichuan to be his wife

li wei ends up yin zheng’s concubine!!! which is the worst!!! not only does she have to conform to this xinchuan polygamy bs, she’s not even his main wife!!! she’s depressed for a few days until she catches wind that yin zheng only has a few weeks left to live (fake news) and it just kickstarts a whole bunch of hilarious shenanigans in which she tries to be nice to him before he dies and she gets to go home to jichuan as a widow

cue yin zheng (who doesn’t know what li wei is thinking) going: she’s??? nice to me???? mayhaps..........she be.........in love with me??????

(uhhhh because she’s adorable???? i like her) 

ANYWAY y’all get the drift, it’s the whole arranged marriage, strangers to lovers, pining after my spouse vibe that i absolutely love!!! 

but it’s not just that!!! it’s also that the female characters are all well-written and the friendships between all of them are so cute!! 

first left is shangguan jing, fifth prince’s wife! she’s from danchuan which is a matriarchal society. she’s good at martial arts and very straightforward. does not really want to be married to xinchuan (much less to the fifth prince who starts off liking someone else), but is Doing Her Duty. i am SO INVESTED in her relationship with the fifth prince ahhhh, he’s a wimp (affectionate) who, this far in the show, has come to love his wife and is fretting constantly over how to make her happy/make her love him 

first right is hao jia! she’s the second prince’s concubine and li wei’s bff. she’s sweet and well-natured and essentially Good At Everything. the second prince is kind of a dick with obvious dv tendencies, but he’s the eldest son of the emperor’s wife and next in line for the throne. i am just HOPING we get to see hao jia go off on him one day soon 😭 (side note: i’m actually also curious about the second prince’s wife - i wonder if she and hao jia will team up to get rid of the second price ugh)

this is yuan ying junzhu, my li wei’s yin zheng’s wife. hoooo boy folks, when the emperor ordered yin zheng to marry her against his Very Strong Objection, i thought we were going to start in on the angst and the whole jealous wife arc, but!!! she’s got zero interest in him, and they decide that she’ll basically stay at the manor as his advisor/li wei’s tutor! she 100% likes li wei more than she likes yin zheng lbr

not pictured but also a+++ characters that i love: the third prince’s wife + his harem of concubines (he’s named them all after the 24 traditional solar terms); the seventh prince and his wife (both of whom are adorable and just try to stay low-key and out of trouble); song wu²; all the servants at the sixth prince’s manor

ANYWAY this show is light-hearted and fun and an absolute delight to watch!! it’s been awhile since we’ve had a romcom-ish cdrama that’s had actual budget to produce something to this quality 💖 11/10 would rec!!! 

where to watch: iqiyi // viki // youtube status:  this updates every sunday to wednesday (local chinese time), with 2 eps being released every day. 22/40 eps have aired so far, i think iqiyi subs are up to date with the current airing schedule but i can’t be sure? someone correct me if i’m wrong! 

[stephaniebrownslover]

HI HI HI I'M FROM FBI AND I MUST TAKE YOU TO JAIL FOR BEING AN AMAZING WRITER-

...

It was really a bad entrance but WHO CARES???

I came to place 'cause I want to learn Creepypasta's close friends/friends in your main AU, really I don't know why I feel so curious for this..

UM I THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG ASS POST, SO I'M SORRY IF I WILL MAKE YOU TIRED OR SOMETHING-

Have a good day/night sweet person <333333

HIIIIIIII LOVELY PERSON AND DON'T TAKE ME TO JAIL PLS, I CAN'T GO BACK THERE!!!!!!

NOOOOOOO IT WAS CUTE DON'T WORRY WHATEVER ANYONE THINK BECAUSE I LIKED IT REALLY

Omg I'm about to cry. Amazing writer???? You guys really want to give me a heart attack. I got so excited whenever someone asks me something and you can't even guess what I feel when someone says they like my writing.

I think you asked this because of that relationship chart but I also want to assume you read some of my posts because I always end them with saying "long ass post" lol

And my AU is mostly a BFF universe and lol don't worry you're not making me tired or something and I'm more than happy to write for your request!!

AND HAVE AN AMAZING DAY/NIGHT SWEETEST PERSON<333333

Ps: If you guys need elaboration on any of this friendships, let me know so that I can make a short post about it!

Also I want to apologize for the delay but I had no energy or motivation because of my upcoming finals. I wanted to write for the other 13 normal friends but I didn't want to postpone this request more. So I apologize for lack of writing!

It may seem short but actually this is almost my longest work for this AU

Frindships in my main AU

Year: 2014

Close friends

Toby and (Eyeless) Jack: In general, it can be said that they have a close relationship. If Toby is still conscious when he is injured, he refuses to go to another medic that is not Jack, and although it is actually a bit dangerous situation, Jack likes it. Jack generally listens to Toby's conversation about the newest topic of his interest and asks him what he is curious about. Toby often visits Jack's cabin because he really likes his company and knows that Jack is very lonely and doesn't want that. Jack shouldn't be alone unless he it is necessary. And Toby is volunteered for this. Despite the occasional arguments, they have a really friendly and close friendship relation.

Jeff and (Eyeless) Jack: They have a one-sided close friendship, mostly in the form of Jeff seeing Jack as a close friend to himself. Of course, they're friends, and they hang out and talk together sometimes, but if it's up to Jack, Jeff is just an annoying friend to him. Jeff, on the other hand, considers Jack as one of his closest friends. Despite the fact that he made fun of him countless times. However, Jeff never makes fun of Jack's past because he knows his limits and truly respects the eyeless demon.

Ben and Jeff: Close friends that causes a terrible headache. Together they are determined to make everyone else crazy, and everyone hates their relationship. They constantly play games, make fun of each other and others, talk about silly topics and do a ton of other stupid things. Actually, even though Jeff is 20 years old and Ben is 12 years old, Ben generally has a mixation of adult and child mentality, and they can get along because Jeff's own mind is normally like that. Even though it sometimes doesn't seem like it from the outside, they really value each other as friends. Still, it's better if they're not friends.

Sally and Ben: Sally was a pretty angry ghost at first, and that's why, unlike Ben, she was acting younger than her own age, 13. When Ben came to the mansion, she refused to talk to him because she did not want the attention to shift from herself. However, Ben did not give up on his goal to talk to her, and eventually Sally overcame her hatred for him. They're pretty good friends now, and even though Ben is the younger one, he's being incredibly protective of Sally in general. When Ben sees something nice, he takes it and gives it to Sally, and Sally makes gifts for him with her own hands. It's a relationship that Slenderman approves of because he thinks it's good for Sally.

Ann and Dina: Actually, they don't really have a friendship at all. Dina hates Ann, and Ann believes that they are the closest friends. And she thinks that the reason Dina attacks her every chance she sees is because of a big mistake Ann made, and since Dina has a forgiving mindset anyway, Ann doesn't mind dealing with her. The reason Ann believes this was because Dina, who thought Ann was still alive when she came back to life, tried to help, but when Dina found out that she was a zombie, she hated Ann because of her hatred towards supernatural things. Ann thinks that she is someone from her previous life that she does not remember, except for medical information.

Jane and Liu: Jane actually never hated Liu. She even felt sorry for him. Moreover, since she thought that the right to revenge belonged most to Liu, but she still wanted it for herself, they made a deal. The first person who found Jeff was going to kill him. Their relationship, which began when Liu visited Jane in the hospital and told her what had happened, was strengthened by their desire for revenge and eventually turned into a real friendship. Liu is a writer known by an anonymous name, and Jane is a secret agent working for the government. Since they both want to stay hidden from the public eye, they can easily understand each other, this is their common denominator. In fact, Liu is one of Jane's few friends.

Tim and Brian: They don't have exactly a friendship anymore like they used to. It's more that they have a relationship like two lonely souls who understand each other in endless suffering and do their best to alleviate this pain, with understanding each other. Even though too many events have come between them to allow them to be friends again, they have managed to overcome it. It's just that their new life doesn't allow them to have fun the way they used to. However, this does not mean they are completely unhappy, they feel peace from each other's partnership, and Tim, in particular, is ready to sacrifice everything for his last remaining friend Brian. They understand each other better than anyone since they are on of the few of the proxies who still have their memory.

Nina and Clockwork: They have a pretty good relationship that started with Clockwork helping Nina out of pity, and then developed with Nina not letting Clockwork go because of her dream of having a girlfriend for the first time. Their relationship is quite intimate and sincere. They really care about each other, and although Clockwork has trained Nina in self-defense, she still instinctively tries to protect Nina in every dangerous situation. They are both each other's first girlfriends as people who have only been bullied by other girls before, and therefore there is a special bond between them. Even though Nina sometimes bores Clockwork with her excessive energy, the bond between them is too strong to be deconstructed by such things.

Nina and Toby: Nina actually met Toby through Clockwork and immediately felt close to him. On the other hand, although Toby was quite cold to her at first despite Clockwork's words to be nice, Nina managed to melt the ice of Toby's heart over time. They definitely have a very chaotic relationship, and when the two of them get together, it becomes a complete nightmare for other people. Especially during the manic periods when Toby's energy is high. Nevertheless, Nina, who knows that this period is dangerous, and tries to distract them both with activities that will not harm Toby. Toby then brings her random beautiful items he found from the forest as a thank you. Nina has a growing collection of fancy stones.

Kate and Toby: Since Toby is the first person who doesn't act like a monster to Kate, Toby is the person Kate feels closest to as a friend. In fact, they have a twin siblings style relationship more than a friend relationship, they hate each other, but actually care about each other quite a lot. Toby is constantly makes fun of Kate, and Kate, who knows that he doesn't feel pain, responds in a way that is not physically extreme. They constantly do arm wrestling tournament challenges and something like this. Kate definitely doesn't let anyone hurt Toby but herself, and Toby is trying to help Kate communicate more people by introducing her to his friends.

Toby and Clockwork: In addition to being two lovers who care about each other more than anything, they are also each other's first friends, and they met even before everything. Both lovers and best friends. From time to time, they may be jealous of each other from others, and then they can make a top 10 celebrity list that they would like to date together. Toby always puts Clockwork at the top of this list, and Clockwork also says that she's not a celebrity, but actually she finds it very stupid and cute. They spend time together in a friendly way, except for romantic affairs, because they are not only lovers, but also friends to death.

Toby and Cody: Although Cody is only 17 years old, he is mentally able to adapt to Toby, who is 19 years old wonderfully. Cody's intense love of science combined with Toby's endless curiosity are not very pleasant things, but Cody incredibly enjoys teaching him. Cody is happy that he has finally found someone who listens to what others consider impossible nonsense and really tries to understand, even if Toby does stupid things. And Toby is happy that he can show off to everyone what a smart friend he has. Also, when Cody first arrived, Slenderman gave Toby the task of observing Cody. They have more of a two stupid brother-style relationship.

Cody and Ann: Although it's a relationship that seems surprising, there's a solid foundation of respect between the two of them. Ann found Cody annoying at first, but later decided to keep him with her because his being so curious evoked strange feelings in her. She thinks that these feelings belong to her previous life, and she thinks that a child with whom she feels close can help her remember her past. At the same time, Cody is Ann's assistant, and Ann taught him important medical knowledge. Cody and Ann understand each other and know how to respect the other person's boundaries. Besides, it's nice to have a silent partner once in a while.

Zero and Dina: Although they are two people who met through Helen and Puppeteer and their personalities are quite opposite to each other, they usually get along well. In fact, they can almost be called better friends than Helen and Jonathan. One of Dina's few friends is surprisingly Zero, even if their personalities don't match up much. Zero is constantly chasing after Dina and dragging her from there to there. Dina, on the other hand, enjoys it because Zero is the person who cares about her the most after her lover Helen. Even though they do the activities that Dina likes from time to time, they usually do Zero's suggestions since Dina fits into almost every plan. Zero is an extremely rip-roaring person, and Dina is usually a calm person, but they get along well.

Zero and Clockwork: It could literally be the most dangerous and crazy relationship in the world. When the two of them get together, something definitely goes wrong for someone. Even Toby and Nina are afraid of the relationship of those two. They tried kissing once before when they were drunk. Even if it doesn't look like it, they both really care about each other. Although their personalities are compatible, no one knows how two such difficult people met and Clockwork and Zero are determined to keep it a private secret between them. They are also among the few people who know each other's real names, and despite this, they use the names they want to be called because of their respect for each other. Truly a terribly chaotic friendship.

Helen and Jonathan: Although others sometimes wonder how they put up with each other, they mostly get along, and that's reason enough for them to be close friends. Helen hasn't been able to get along with anyone except Dina since high school, and Puppeteer is a good exception for him. Even though Jonathan takes incredible pleasure in annoying him. They've even introduced other friends who are the most important to each other, and every now and then the four of them hang out together. Although the two of them have big arguments from time to time, usually the cause of this argument, Jonathan, somehow manages to make amends to Helen. He is lucky that Helen doesn't hold a grudge against his friends.

Rouge and Kate: Although they have a strange relationship, more like Rouge acting like a mother to Kate, Kate prefers to characterize their relationship dynamics as friends. Rouge, on the other hand, puts Kate in the place of her own daughter and acts overprotective and maternal towards her at every chance. Even though such familial love bothers Kate because that makes her feel confused, she knows that Rouge has no bad intentions, so Kate cares and respects her. Also, it makes her feel better to know that Rouge acts like a mother not only to her, but also to Toby. She knows Rouge's real name, but prefers to call her Rouge instead of Heather unless they are alone.

Rouge and Toby: Similarly, Rouge also puts Toby in the place of her own unborn child, and of course Toby likes that she is ready to kick everyone's ass, including Tim, to protect him. It's nice to know that he has his own bodyguard, he just wishes Rouge wouldn't angrily take him to Ann when he's injured since he's old enough to make his own irresponsible decisions. He likens Rouge's attitude to the style of the woman named Connie in the memoir fragments in a way that he doesn't remember exactly why, and in a strange way, a feeling of both love and emptiness occurs in him. However, Toby has a lot of respect and love for Rouge.

Zero and Kagekao: They have a relationship that no one knows why they are friends, but everyone understands why they are friends. They both like a sense of fun that pushes the boundaries to the fullest, and sometimes they go hunting victims together. Since Zero and Kagekao's fashion sense is similar, they also get along better than others in this regard. Both of them are extremely annoying to each other and death threats are flying around, but they definitely wouldn't try to kill the other. After all, they are two cool friends with similar personalities to each other, and no one can be better than them. 

Jeff and Nina: Actually, Nina was madly in love with Jeff, but she eventually cooled off from him because of Jeff's bad attitude to her, and they never spoke until Jeff made amends by apologizing on the anniversary of Liu's death. Although Jeff doesn't remember that night, he gets along better with Nina because he's trying to be a less terrible person, and Nina appreciates his effort. Now they have a relationship more like brother and sister, and Jeff is protective of Nina against others, which Nina really likes. The common desire of both of them is that Nina's new girlfriend Kate tries to kill Jeff less. Although they don't usually hang out when Kate is with them, they meet up from time to time and spend time doing random things.

Total: 20

Friends

Jeff and Clockwork

Liu and (Eyeless) Jack

Kate and Clockwork

Lulu and Dina

Lulu and Jeff

Nina and Jane

Nina and Liu

Dina and Jonathan

Mary and Liu

(Laughing) Jack and Jill

(Laughing) Jack and Kagekao

Rouge and Brian

Zero and Jonathan

Total: 13

Sum of all: 33

[coffeelovesdramasalatte]

LITA Ep 1 rewatch thoughts

Taking it from the top! Why is Phayu literally the nicest person ever? Like he just saw someone's car stalling near the road in the rain and he just stopped to help? I love that this is their official intro to each other bc it gives us viewers a clear impression of their dynamic from the very beginning. The music selection in this scene is so funny though bc it's intense and dangerous and Phayu is literally just telling Rain to turn his hazard lights on lmao.

I also love that every time Phayu helps Rain, he does so with encouragement for Rain to be more self-sufficient. The tire-changing is example one.

"You're so handsome" RAIN pls control yourself... I mean we all agree and Phayu's already looking interested but danggg

Ah Sky, the long-suffering (affectionate) BFF. Did we ever find out when they met? Was it just in college or before, bc it looks like Sky's Rain-related-nonsense-tolerance meter is constantly maxed out and that usually comes from long-term friendships.

I LOVE HIM there is not a single thought behind these eyes

Yassss department god Phayu for the win!! Love how this montage makes Phayu seem like a highly elegant and smart guy (which he is) but then we just watch him be a dork over Rain the rest of the series.

Fast forward a bit to the restaurant scene bc I forgot to keep typing...

Ok yeah sure you don't remember Rain, Phayu. Please, you made a beeline directly to him as soon as you walked in. Also, this scene makes my heart beat faster even though they do a lot more later on (where are those eyes looking, eh Phayu?).

The next scene where Phayu wipes Rain's hair gives me mixed feelings bc on the one hand, I don't like how Rain literally had to hit Phayu with a pillow before he'd let go, but on the other I didn't actually get a sense of danger from Phayu. I also did like that Phayu threw out "actually I'm bisexual" so casually - love that for us. I also think it's hilarious how fast Rain falls into the "I'm so into Phayu" headspace. I've heard some people call it subspace and from what I know I'm inclined to agree but I don't know enough to comment on that further. Also here begins the saga of Rain having a death-grip on Phayu's neck during intimate moments. We stan <3

Somehow I didn't notice the thermostat being set so low during every rewatch of this episode until now - I was always confused as to why Rain had to go under the covers but I get it.

When they wake up and Rain calls Phayu a bunch of names I couldn't stop laughing - it's even funnier when you know what's coming in the next few eps. Also my son really went "no thoughts head empty" after a single cheek kiss from Phayu. What a cutie

Rain cursing at the storm is so cute!!! Also we love our logical bestie Sky as always.

I LOVE P'Aon!! Also he's the first person to call Rain Phayu's boy and for some reason I think that's v v cute

I accidentally paused and can't stop laughing at Phayu's face here PLSSSS

And we've made it to the ending scene!! Ahhhh this makes me SO SOFT! I love it when characters tuck their face into their partner's neck when they're sleeping - there's something about the trust and comfort needed to do that which makes me so happy to see it play out. And Phayu's little "I'm really starting to like you, Rain" with the SOFTEST little smile on his face URGH I'M EXPERIENCING EMOTIONS

This is one of my favorite opening episodes of a series! We got introduced to all the main players as well as the key side-characters, and we got a good understanding of who Rain and Phayu are as individuals (less so on Phayu's side for now) and their dynamic together. I was so hyped to finish the rest of the series as soon as I finished this episode the first time

[sharas-bae]

the green day concert last night was absolutely everything i wanted it to be. i went with 3 childhood friends, the core group who got terrifyingly obsessed with them in 7th-8th grade in the way that only 13-year-old girls can. and it was pretty much perfect. (long reflection/ramble below the cut)

the band played all of dookie (30th anniversary) and american idiot (20th anniversary, fucking how. that album came out a few months after we all got into green day and now it's two decades old??) and a handful of songs from other albums.

the show went on for 3 hours and it was so satisfying and exhausting that i was actually ok when it ended instead of disappointed like i was at the mcr show (though of course i also would've been perfectly happy if it had gone another hour). it was a blur of singing and dancing and moments of re-realizing that this was actually happening. i was actually grateful there were a handful of newer songs i don't know as well so i could step back and just observe and soak it all in again.

the weather forecast had been very concerning, up until late morning it had showed that there would be thunderstorms until at least 6pm and that it would be pretty much constantly raining the whole time. my friend who's hosting ordered ponchos for all of us. but it ended up almost entirely dry (if cloudy, which. not a bad thing).

during the dookie set it actually did rain for several songs, but it was mostly a heavy mist? so it was basically just enough to be memorable, fun, refreshing, and then just as i was starting to regret not throwing on my poncho it stopped. and prompted a 'philly, you made me wet' from billie joe which. sometimes low-hanging fruit is the best kind.

the band's energy was fantastic. mike was running around, billie joe did a lot of the freddie mercury style 'eyy-ohs' and revving the crowd. he is such a Performer, it genuinely seemed like he was having so much fun and getting into the Very Dramatic Faces. tre came out in a fluffy jaguar-print bathrobe to perform 'all by myself' (sidebar i was wondering the whole rest of the album if they'd include the hidden track and got way too excited that they did) and was doing the hammiest 'who, me?' striptease. their little solo moments throughout the show really showed off how good they are at what they do, even when the composition is relatively simple.

the crowd was singing and dancing through all of it and i actually ended up headbanging at one point, but i couldn't tell you which song. also my knee is sore, but i expected something to be sore after that.

they had a goofy little 'bad year' blimp balloon walk around the floor (did i mention my friend scored us floor tickets??) during sassafrass roots. phone lights came out in force for give me novocaine (not as sure why this one) and a lot of people put them up for a 'tribute to loved ones' version for wake me up when september ends, which yes did make me teary.

they also invited their first opener, the linda lindas, to play a song. apparently their set was canceled (presumably because storm forecast? i'm not sure). and wow they were very good and i'm definitely chasing down all their stuff. it was cool too because while i'm sure it sucks that their set got canceled, they ended up playing for a packed stadium instead of whoever showed up early or specifically to see them.

one of the things i love about going to shows for groups that have been around for awhile is the age range of the crowd. at this show, at the mcr show, at the backstreet boys show my bff and i went to in 2011, you get middle aged fans who were full adults when the band started, plenty of people our age who were kids or teens when they took off (or in green day's case continued apace i guess), and kids who are just getting into them now. it's just really really cool.

whatsername is always bittersweet for me, so it was even moreso last night. it reminds me of the girl who i had the disastrous homoerotic friendship with, because she was part of this little circle too. one could argue from a certain light that she was the ringleader of the levels of obsession we got to. and the nature of the falling out and then later drama in our early 20s with my bff means she wasn't there with us. and the bff situation means i don't want to mention it to her, because that girl caused her a lot of pain. but that song did make me cry a little, just a moment to grieve the fact that if things had been different (and frankly, if i'd made some different choices when i was 15) she would've been there with us too. it was maybe the only thing about the night that wasn't as close to perfect as one could expect, that weird hole that we've all quietly healed around but is sometimes still very present.

anyway i'm glad they didn't end the show on whatsername. (they played bobby sox off their new album and then good riddance, which was our class song at sixth grade 'graduation' and kicked off all of this). and then we sat down until they kicked us out so the crowd could thin out a little, and took the septa back, and on the walk to my friend's house some guys porch-sitting across the street asked us if we'd been at the green day concert and cheered when we said yes.

[dangerously-human]

While I was working with former work bff this week, I mentioned something about how former office crush #1 broke up with his girlfriend somewhat recently, and after some brief sympathy for him, she automatically shifted into eyebrow-waggling mode, going, "Sooo, if he's single now, do you—?" Which makes sense, of course, since him dating that girl was why I did finally move on; there was an initial attempt, while he was still single but I'd learned he was an atheist, and it only ended up in a spiral until it just wasn't an option anymore. But before she even finished the sentence, I was shaking my head, explaining that no, absolutely not, we have massively different values and it would never work. Did I think, for a second, when he told me - of course I did, you don't hear "hey I'm single again" from the first person you fell in love with and not have that thought, I think, not if there was never a wedge between you, anyway. "Are you sure?" she pushed. But even if it were an option - and whatever overly optimistic possibilities I may sometimes indulge about the past, it sure isn't now - I still wouldn't want that. Honestly. (Mostly honestly.) Which is progress. As I explained to her, I love being friends with him, but I'm friends with lots of people I'm quite different from, and my one non-negotiable is I will not date a non-Christian. She was quiet for a bit and then said, "I really wish it had worked out for you with [the adventurer]," and I sighed and agreed, because yeah, that one just made sense. That one's more recent, but I never let it spin out of control like with OC1 (surrendered it to God from day one), so it's not as hard to marshall the what-ifs - but it does still suck, sometimes, especially because he's still the same, you know, still one of my favorite people and still unfairly good-looking and still in my orbit all the time, and it still makes sense and it's a bummer that he wasn't interested in dating at all and I don't think I was ever really an option that way. But it is what it is and I genuinely am okay with it. What I realized, after all this - and I think our conversation afterward helped me understand, especially where she kept saying she would not have made it without me and she's constantly wishing she could give me one fraction of that back, and despite my honest assurances, I don't think she sees that she has, a hundred times over - is that it's not so much that she specifically wants to see me with any one of these boys, it's that she wants to be part of my happiness in that way, and it frustrates her that she hasn't had the opportunity to even try in a long time. So I told her one of my goals for this year is to try the dating app thing, much as it strikes me as less than ideal, and I asked for her help with a profile and figuring out what to say in general. She loves having a mission, and I trust her impressions of people (for me, anyway) - and she's a born hype woman, there's no one who could talk me up better, lol. I'll need Bible study bestie's buy-in too before doing anything with that goal, because I need a friend who loves Jesus to be on my team... but the point of this, I think, was reflecting on how grateful I am for this friendship, and the way she is automatically my cheerleader and wants to be part of good things for me. Everyone needs that kind of friend, truly.

[matan4il]

OK, this is gonna be a mess, but I hope it makes sense because I am curious about your thoughts.

So the 911 talk about Buddie being best friends and all other comparable relationships always is so curious to me. Because we have all different versions of relationships on this show. So on the best friend level it's always Chim and Hen vs Buddie ad why Buddie is "just friends".

But I always forget that actually the better best friend category is Buddie vs Bobby and Michael. So here's my point. Hen and Chim are best friends, yes, but they lack the intimacy of being involved a lot in the other person's kids life because you know that's normal boundaries.

However Michael and Bobby did have to navigate that. How you interact and play off that balance of beaties but also co caregivers. How were they written? Well, exactly that.

Michael and Bobby were a couple of scheming BFFs. At first you had Athena babysitting them in instances like the bank robbery. Then you had them dealing together with Michael's illness. When David came along it was clear he was Michael's partner Bobby his BF. When they dragged David into their undercover operation he acted accordingly. Lovingly exasperated at these 2. And at the end the story was still Michael and David's. Just like at the end of every conflict it is Bathena.

So yes the writers could have chosen to write Taylor and Anna as appropriate partners we barely see. Anna as an excuse for why we don't see Christopher as much when Gavin can't film. Taylor around when the story needs a reporter. They could have kept the tightness of Buddie together bit they didn't.

Anyways I hope that makes sense because as I am re-watching it just became clear to me that like yes if any friendship is like Buddie it's more Michael and Bobby and yet they made completely different choices in the style.

Hi lovely Nonnie! Thank you for this ask!

I'm gonna confess, I think I did compare Buddie with Bobby and Michael in at least one meta post, but I'm not sure now which one... I'm almost positive it was a weekly meta. If not, you might find it in one of my other Buddie meta posts.

But to get into why we don't see this comparison a bit more, I think first, we've had a lot less Michael & Bobby content than what we got with Hen & Chim. Second, I also think the fact that in both Buddie and Chim and Hen being friends who are ALSO work-colleagues helps us keep that element "neutralized" when making that comparison. No one can claim the reason why Buddie are intense as a friendship while Hen & Chim are different is that Buddie constantly run into fires together, while Hen & Chim only did it once.

That said, and even with these two points in mind, I agree that there are elements to Bobby & Michael's friendship that make it delicious to compare to Buddie's and see, once again, how what Buddie have is different. How they're written to be different. Nobody does soulful stares and domestic and desperate spouse behavior quite like Buddie. They have left "just friends" land a long time ago...

Thank you for this ask! I hope my reply was helpful. Have a beautiful day! And as always, here's my ask tag. xoxox

[random111sposts]

CASEY JONES OC IN MUTANT MAYHEM

OK, so I finished watching Mutant Mayhem WAY BEFORE and my favorite character is of course Leo

And I was like "Hey Casey Jones isn't in the movie" so I made an OC named Casey

And Casey would be this character that really loves sports especially hockey and stuff like that

And the thing is Casey actually just showed up because they were hospitalized for a long time (Their teacher keeps nagging about how they should rest) because even though they love sports they are physically weak

They’ve been trying to improve on their physical state by exercising more and eating more

But because of something that has to do with their genetics, they get hospitalized a lot so they have to stop pushing themselves and they have to be careful

Casey is also best friends with a girl named Karai (The class president)

(And yes, this Karai is also secretly the daughter of the Shredder and is trying to infiltrate the school to defeat the turtles thus her getting President role, but she ends up getting really attached to Casey because she has never had a friend before, and obviously Casey knows nothing about the Shredder)

Casey and Karai are best friends in a sense where they are kind of dependent on each other, especially Karai who gets so dependent on Casey to the point where she gets jealous and really insecure and even lashes out on Casey when she sees Casey interacting or having other friends

And Casey knows that this is an unhealthy friendship, but Casey still with her because they don't really have any other friends

They only have one other friend who is a guy (no name yet but he's the leader of the hockey team) but he's the person that would tell Casey “Hey Casey, you are being mistreated by Karai. This is not healthy like bro she shouldn't be jealous constantly like come on this is not OK”

Casey would go on and say “yeah, I know, but I don't really have anyone else”

And then when Casey meets up with Leo and the other turtle brothers - when they officially enroll in the school

Casey initially meets them thanks to April

April doesn’t know Casey that much aside from the fact that their BFF is Karai and that Casey is in the hockey team and gets hospitalized a lot

And of course Casey is a fucking geek and would get along with the turtles

Donnie cuz anime

Mikey cuz comedy and improv

Raph cuz trolling

But the person that Casey ends up being interested in the most is Leo, mostly because despite the fact that Casey has a personality like a jock, not an asshole but more like “I'm gonna have fun and all that stuff”

Casey actually really admires people that try their best to help people and try their best to treat the situation seriously, kind of like a leader. Leader doesn't have to be like super strict and stuff as long as they are reliable

Casey seeing Leo trying his best to be reliable and help others despite his shortcomings inspires Casey

As the story progressive some more and more Casey will be curious about Leo and of course Casey would know that Leo has a crush in April

So Casey is like “All right, I'll help you. I'll help you with April. I'll help you ask her out in dates I'll help you with your confidence and blah blah blah”

And this is because Casey genuinely wants to help Leo like they genuinely genuinely want to have Leo succeed and have Leo be happy

But then later on, Casey ends up developing feelings for Leo so it ends up going from “Hey bro” to “Oh shit, I am actually in love with you”

So Casey ends up confessing to Leo SPECIFICALLY so Leo could REJECT Casey

Basically this

“Hey I have a crush on you but I know you like April so I just want you to know that you are amazing and I have a crush on you and I wanna help you because I want you to be happy and you could rely on me. You don't have to like me back. I know you don't like me back, but I wanna help you as much as I can”

And Leo doesn’t know how to react properly, but he still tries to help as much as he can

[goldensunset]

there is another pokemon rival who gets worn down by the player constantly defeating them! Hop from gen 8 gets all sad and discouraged after losing over and over and it doesn’t help that his brother is the champion, so he has this whole arc where he ditches all his usual pokemon (including his childhood bff wooloo 😔) and tries using stronger ones. it doesn’t work and eventually he learns the power of friendship is more important than winning or something idk I never played the game. Kieran’s live joker arc is still way more compelling but I thought you’d like to know about this guy too

yeah!!! i know and love hop. i’ve only played the first 40 minutes of gen 8 myself (everything else i’ve learned through osmosis) but that was more than enough for me to feel bad for this guy tbh. constantly living in his brother’s shadow and all that. i don’t think there’s a single photo of him in his family home it’s like all covered in leon’s stuff like sheesh. what i’ve heard about hop is that he just gives up eventually and aims to be a professor even though apparently that came out of nowhere. that for sure qualifies as ‘getting worn down by the player’, and i was thinking about him while typing that, but like. getting worn down and giving up is just sad. it would be cool if it’s bc he realized he really did have a secondary dream that took precedence but otherwise it’s just the short end of the stick for him. i wish hop had been treated better by the story :(

way more compelling is kieran stubbornly refusing to let go of his dreams even if they seem out of reach and potentially destructive, then probably taking drastic measures towards them. and wow is that so in line with the overarching theme of sv- having a dream, chasing a dream, then having to reevaluate what it’s worth to you once it gets to a dangerous point. others have said this better than me. but the primary and most drastic example: blindly pursuing a reckless dream is what got sada/turo killed, isn’t it?

but liiiike. doubt anything that bad will happen for kieran unless he gets involved with the (/a) new legendary in the indigo disc that has crazy powers or something. i mean regardless they’re not gonna kill off a child character of course but i mean like i don’t know if i think kieran will get himself into any material danger on his quest to become stronger. but at the bare minimum he’s probably going to ruin some relationships. but then again wouldn’t it be so good if he actually did get manipulated by some insane higher power and did something drastic in exchange for strength. ok that’s besides the point but i would like to see it

the point is yeah chasing his dream might lead him off the deep end and i hope it does. i hope they don’t chicken out on this. especially given that his desire is, frankly, not very noble. my personal takeaway is that by the end it’s not even about ogerpon but it’s about revenge on the player. like he just has a vendetta now. that is suuuper interesting. idk if even your typical real official pokémon villain has ever had such a personal reason to hate the protagonist. ‘darn meddling kid!’ vs ‘you lured me in with the promise of friendship and then lied to me took everything from me and stomped on me’. like dude…

[lesbiannancytruther]

I never said Steve would blame Nancy for not being into him or Robin for possibly having feelings. Steve is not the type of person who would force others to like him. He let her go so she could date Jonathan in s2. However, Jonathan and Steve weren't friends at all, so that's an entirely different situation. If Jonathan and him were bffs, he would have distanced himself from him as well.

I guess I project a lot on Steve because a friend of mine started to date my ex, and I felt super betrayed. We don't know how much Robin knows about Stancy, but they would have talked about it. The equivalent to this would be Steve dating Tammy Thompson or Vickie after learning how much Robin liked them. I don't see Robin being extremely thrilled about that either. I also don't think being hurt or angry at your bff if they were to date your ex is shitty behavior or unhealthy. Like I said, I ended that friendship with my friend because I felt hurt and betrayed. It's called setting boundaries. Now I don't think Steve would simply let go of Robin, but their relationship would change where he would distance himself from her, that would also not make him a bad friend, he is setting boundaries. Robin can do whatever but she would have to consider the possible consequences and if it's worth it to jeopardize her friendship with Steve. It's not so simple because the situation is super messy.

I do think Steve would come around later, but his dynamic with Robin would change, like he's not a doormat with zero feelings that you can just walk over. Like a tiny part of him would always feel betrayed by it, especially if he knows Robin knew about his feelings for Nancy. It's one thing to say, hey mate, she moved on. She has a new partner, and another thing to say move on I want to date your ex, and you better be happy about it. I agree Robin not persuing Nancy for the sake of Steve could lead to resentment of Steve, but at the same time Robin betraying Steve could lead to Steve resenting Robin, and tbh he has the right to voice those feelings just like Robin as the rights.

I also doubt Nancy would be super happy with Steve constantly being around. S4 was the first time they hung out again, they both actively avoided each other between seasons because they are not friends. I think she would have problems with her gf being extremely close with her ex. Especially because she was hurt so much by Steve. Again it's such a messy situation for all parties involved.

ok this is meaty so if i forget smth idk what to tell u lol

point 1, before anything else: considering steve acted all upset when nancy greeted Her Boyfriend Jonathan at the end of s4 because he'd started to feel old feelings is indicative that yes, he probably would feel that way in some capacity.

and, tbh, main point in all of this: there is a certain problem with projecting your own feelings onto characters in the show if it doesn't really fit the situation described. i know nothing about your own personal experience, it would be foolish of me to tell you what was the right or wrong way to handle your personal situation, but i'm thinking it is not a 1 to 1 comparison to the characters in the show, which is why it needs to be looked at differently.

nancy and steve's relationship ending wasn't a "one is at fault and the other isn't" situation, but im presenting this argument the best way i can:

if nancy had done steve incredibly wrong (which we can fight all day on: no she didn't) and their relationship didn't work out because nancy was abusive/toxic to him, then he would absolutely feel betrayed by robin pursuing a relationship with her! the problem? that's not at ALL what happened.

nancy and steve's relationship ended because 1) steve's incredible wrongs (see: nancy "the slut" wheeler" and leaving her drunk at a party) had stacked AND nancy, who needed to deal with her trauma, could not put it aside for steve, who wanted to repress his own trauma, by pretending everything was normal.

the biggest hurt that nancy caused steve was the "bullshit" scene, and canonically IN THE SHOW steve says she was right! that that needed to be said, which he learned after his development in s3.

steve messed up with nancy, and while i don't think he's a bad person for it, by any stretch of the imagination, it'd be really weird for him to hold it against robin for wanting to pursue something with nancy because of his own hurt feelings.

you're point on moving on: those two things really aren't that different, but one blatantly misinterprets the point i made about robin, and also about what confronting someone about something unhealthy means. if you talk to someone about their behavior and go "hey, this is uncool", it is never "suck it up and like what's happening" it's "this is the truth, please understand why your perception isn't healthy". it is never comfortable, but it's also not mean.

also: voicing hurt feelings is different than justifying them. if you say, "hey, this bothers me, even if it shouldn't", it is not a crime on you, or a bad thing to do, it's way healthier than ignoring those feelings. because at the end of the day, any resentment steve gains for robin from something like that, it isn't healthy, like no ifs, ands, or buts, in their situation it wouldn't be healthy.

and final point: nancy cares a lot about steve. just because they aren't the bestest of friends does NOT mean they don't care about each other. look at s4: nancy looked so relieved to see steve and the others pull up, because she knows she can rely on him, and steve wants to be there for her. i really don't think nancy feels romantically for steve, but she still cares about him, a lot, and what happened between them doesn't change that. robin and steve being besties does the opposite of bother her, by the way, like in canon.

i can't tell where you stand on nancy wheeler, but a lot of your points really don't feel like you understood stancy for what it was, and who nancy and steve are now.

[blackbird-brewster]

Friday Fic Rec (Special Edition)

Fic rec ask game

(Taken from @illegalcerebral)

I saw a thing earlier lamenting the fact that people don't make lists of fic recs any more so for Motivation Monday I've decided to start a game so we can spread some love! So make a new post and compile a list of the following fics:

An ongoing multi chapter fic you are excited to get updates for right now

turn the world to gold by sunshineandguns

(Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily)

I am so in love with this one! Cannot wait to see how it ends. IT's just such good and agnsty Jemily

(If Loving You is Wrong) I Don't Want to be Right by ambiguousem

(Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily)

If I could unhinge my jaw and eat a fic like it was a meal to be consumed, this fic would UNDOUBTEDLY taste like all of my fave comfort foods individually and simultaneously. I literally don't know how to explain my love for this angstt fest.

A completed multichapter fic that you can binge read

Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) by w00t4ewan (me)

(Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily, JJ/Tara, Tara/Emily)

Yeah, I'm hyping my own work bc this is what I'm currently reading to my partner (I read out loud to them every night) and it's been such a joy for me to read it for the first time (since writing it). We constantly lament that there's not a TV series of this AU bc GOD THERE SHOULD BE ITS SUCH A ROM-COM

A oneshot you think everyone should read

Steps by Phoenix_Falls

(Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily)

DID YOU KNOW: This is the highest read Non-Smut Jemily fic!? IT IS!!! AND YOU SHOULD READ IT BC THE FLUFF IS UPSETTING

A fic you have re-read more than once

Dreams, Schemes and In-Between by Phoenix_Falls

(Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily, Derek/Penelope)

One of my FAVVVEEEESSSSS. I have read it so many times over the years bc it's so light-hearted and the entire fic is four idiots trying to get each other to fall in love. It's an entire fic about best friends being Meddlers

A fic you first read over a year ago that you want to spotlight

I Want to Believe by Trancer

(Criminal Minds/X-Files, Emily/JJ)

It's an X-Files Jemily AU. AND YOU WILL LOVE IT

A fic that introduced you to a new ship/character/fandom

With a Little Help From My Friends by phoenix_falls

(Criminal Minds, Emily & Luke )

THIS FRIENDSHIP!! Luke needs to be protecc at all costs and this really turned me on to the idea of Luke and Emily being bffs and gay idiots together. I love it!!!

A fic you'd recommend to someone new to your fandom

Depends on why they're here! I exclusively write/consume Criminal Minds femslash so here's my recs based on the assumption you just watched CM for the first time and said "THESE WOMEN ARE VERY QUEER!!!"

"Oh my GOD JJ and Emily are SO GAY TOGETHER?!?"

Start Here: [Take My Hand and Show Me the Way] by mjduncan

"UHHHHHH Tara Lewis just met Emily and THEY REALLY EYE FUCKED EACH OTHER RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD!!!"

Start Here: [Caution to the the Wind] by thelarkascending

"Do you ever think about the way JJ and Tara look at each other? Like that one overly specific moment when [JJ looks at Tara] (when Tara has her hand on JJ's shoulder) and JJ's eyes basically say OH FuCk I HAvE It SOOO BaDDD FOR TARA LEWIS!!!"

Start Here: [Here is Home] or [Between You & Me] by w00t4ewan

A fic you would recommend to the person who tagged you in this game.

I wasn't tagged and I don't even know if you (@illegalcerebral ) really read a lot of femslash BUT based on your likes in my notes and your icon, here's a lil something as a treat

Pray by w00t4ewan

Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily (Past JJ/Elle)

This is basically a JJ origin story coming off the back of Elle leaving the BAU and JJ trying to get over being in love and feeling betrayed that Elle left so abruptly

Optional: Wildcard choice of a fic

Unwinding by PepperSpicedLatte

This is just a REALLY well-written Je T'Emily threesome that always gets me FLUSTERED bc holy shit it's so so so good

Tag You're It (If you want to play!):

@gaelic-symphony || @cargopantsprentiss || @carasynthiart || @pagetvaleriebrewster || @doctor-whothefuckknows || @puddlejumper9

[funkymbtifiction]

Why is it that whenever I don't feel close enough to my friends, I get anxious? Does it have anything to do with my enneagram?

For example, just last night, I realized that, in the last few weeks, I haven't seen one of my best friends at all. This immediately sent me into a panicked state, thinking that nowadays I hardly spend any time with her, whereas a few years ago (when we went to the same school together) we used to see each other everyday. I started making all this scenarios in my had about us drifting apart and growing cold to each other etc. In the end, I made a mental not to text her in the morning and then went to bed.

Now, because I can think clearly, I realize that our relationship is in no kind of danger and we are still very much best friends. Yet, whenever I think that we haven't spend enough time together because, you know, life can get busy, I immediately go into panic mode and become desperate to see her and, in a way, reassure myself that our relationship is still strong and healthy.

I have friends. I get along with people from my high school, other ex-classmates etc. But, I don't feel the need to go out with them or be very close with them. They are just acquaintances that I befriend in order to have a great time when I'm in school, not feel alone and socialize a little, but that's it. However, I have two people that I consider my 'best friends' and I see them as my second sisters. I need to go out with them, to see them as often as possible, to know their secrets, to connect with them in a way that I don't connect with others. The way I see things, a person needs to get along with everybody in their environment but have a few very, very close friends that they can count on and love unconditionally. If you don't have those type of friends, then you're completely alone, no matter how well you get on with the others.

The relationship with your best friends needs to be constantly cared for and maintained. And what better way to preserve it rather than going out with them? So, if I do not spend any time with them for a few weeks, immediately I start panicking ('What if this worsens? What if we become always busy? What if we end up at some point seeing each other only twice a year?! Then we'll drift apart and I'll lose their friendship! I need to go out with them now!')

I know I must sound petty and panicked and, in a way, I feel bad for thinking this. After all, I should be more confident in our friendship and realize that it cannot go out the window just like that. Yet, still, this is a very big fear of mine. What do you think? Why is this happening? Does it have to do with enneagram, tritype, instinctual variant etc.? Or is it just a commmon fear? Thank you in advance! :)

This is a dominant social instinct combined with 6-ness. Fear of loss of closeness, the need for intimacy, connection, building, and maintaining it, ensuring that the few people who are in your inner circle, your chosen BFFs, do not forget you, drift away, neglect you, etc. Moving toward them as a 6 with a need to remain attached. To manage it at higher health levels (less anxiety) will mean coming to feel safe despite not being joined at the hip and trust that your friendship can remain strong without constant attention. :)

[xhudgenssistersconfessions]

i don't think it's shady i don't think it's trying to rub it in people face

i believe that ashley ~constantly~ posts austin like that because something happened, not related to vanessa, but with herself and friendships, if you people notice he's the only friend she highlights ~that~ much, i think ashley drift apart with friends constantly (i'm not saying anyone is to blame, maybe no one is) i think austin is the one who is always there for her, and her birthday texts to him say a ~lot~. i do understand people asking "is she still friends with vanessa?" because as said here before, not everyone is so updated about it as we are so i started to understand more.

and i didn't want her to answer anything about vanessa because the last time she answered was about not knowing that tick tick boom was having a premiere and it was the same day that she reposted an elvis teaser, so, we would have the same drama situation now, and it would be a little worse with his fandom bigger (it was not in 2021 yet) i can't even imagine what question she would ask about vanessa and not to be awk

Why? you guys would trash her if she ask something

Why would Ashley (or Vanessa for that matter) bring attention to the fact that they aren’t close anymore? I’m sure neither of them want that all over social media or used as a headline. Ashley won’t ever answer that question as to why they are not BFFS anymore since it’s not our business in the first place.

my opinion, i think some of you (you i say, our fandom) are bitter that austin and ashley have a genuinely pure beautiful friendship that didn't end when a 'bad' thing happened (expressing myself from the things i read on twitter) idk your guys opinion about them but not everything is about attention, not everything is shady, it's not just vanessa who can have true friendships. i get it don't like them i don't like a lot of celebs but you guys care a lot about two people that you guys say "thank god they are not in vanessa's life anymore" deep down i believe you guys wanted that she and ashley were still friends and austin would be the one """left out""" in this trio for your narrative to work more. he is not that monster lol