#birthday vent

[fluffytimearts]

Tomorrow is the day...🕯️

Wow, time has flown by and tomorrow is my 17th birthday. I, however, don't feel excited about it as much... Lot has changed, I've grown and continue to grow, but... I feel slight dread, a bit of hurt in a way.. I didn't really do much these following years worth remembering besides if course you all and the art I've made and the friends I made. I got one more year... One more year to turn 18 after this.

One more year...so I can cut connection with my father.

One more year...until I can graduate..

One more year...I can finally get out the states..

One more year I can somewhat move on from my past.

One more year... one more fucking year..

just wait a little longer..

Happy March 16th

[deer333teeth]

turned 20 today. I hate my birthday. I hate all the attention, the fuss, the expectations to do something to celebrate, the need to have something to show for your age. I just feel guilty when people get me anything anyway. Besides, it feels like any other day to me. I kept forgetting it was approaching and I forgot for the majority of the time today. It was just a normal day. It feels weird, you know? Like you’re haunting yourself, an existence on thin ice — you know you should have died back then, you know so many things should have killed you — you’re living on borrowed time. Every birthday just feels like a reminder that you aren’t supposed to be here. It’s obligatory phone calls and a sickly nostalgia. I’m twenty now. I survived my teens. I survived my teens and I shouldn’t have.

[sunburnedbee]

i really used to love my birthday, and i actually do, but it feels more forced than anything. I would hate to become the type of person that doesn't like their birthday, but i can't help it, it makes me sad, and while i do my best effort to love it, it is just so tiring.

i am about to turn eighteen and i haven't even began to choose what i like, i haven't found a hobby that fits me, i study a degree that i love but it just doesn't fulfill me, i have friends that love me but it is so hard to open my heart to them, family that loves me, and still i cant find my way in life. and i know im still too young to know, i still have time... and still something is missing.

[genekies]

kind of a vent? not really, just saying shit

Happy birthday to me, yall, so I think I was wrong. No birthday house show for me, but my roommate and friends might take me to a hot tub place? Or my roommate might just get me a coffee, and honestly, anything is fine. I just want someone to remember and care about me?

Like every year I lived with my parents, I'd wake up my mom and tell her happy birthday at midnight, and since I moved out, I called her at midnight and last year I even sent a cake, stuffed animal, her favorite candy, some candles, and a lighter to her house. But idek if she's gonna say anything to me until really late tonight? I don't know if any of my family is really gonna do anything besides maybe my aunt.

My aunt and I were never close but last year right after I moved up she brought cookies and stuff to my house after not having seen her in years, because we're the only close family we have in atleast a 30 minute radius.

I hope my friends don't forget.

[flowersbark]

its my birthday and i feel so selfish for wanting to do something on it but we can't because my dad has work and we simply just dont have the money to

but hey, atleast its my birthday

[that-agender-from-pluto]

Happy birthday to me

This year as a gift the universe gave me worse depression

yay

[mummersmurmur]

Happy birthday to fucking me, that special time of year when abusers come knocking at the door wanting to rekindle that beautiful dry rot that was childhood

[boltonbritreads]

**silly little birthday rant into the ether**

my birthday is on friday and my SIL just asked me what I’m doing and if I have anything fun planned and I’m just…..she knows I don’t….like I moved to a new city for law school 2 years ago and still struggle to have actual friends not just school/work friends and I dropped many hints that they should come for this weekend bc they always say they want to visit more since we live so close and my brother and I have back to back birthdays so we could celebrate both and it feels pathetic to have to ask your family to come celebrate your birthday with you and that just was not received so…….no? how would I have plans when my actual friends don’t live here and my fam has basically not acknowledged my birthday is coming up at all? 🫠

I knew this convo would happen and I’m just trying to not get pissed off bc she was like “I feel really bad not doing anything for you in person” and talked about how she’s been so excited to give me my gifts but also like……we live very close and they have no other plans this weekend and they’ve also now asked me to make the travel up to them for labor day for a belated birthday bc her dad and I have the same birthday too and we’ve done a joint thing in the past and he didn’t have the time to do anything this weekend so they quite literally could’ve come down and just….aren’t

[crystalhooks]

My birthday is on Wednesday but I don't want to make it till then. Everything is getting too stressful. I can't adult. I'm going to be 22 and I just want to shrivel out of existence. My disability case is taking too long and Chris won't stop pressuring me about money, and now I have birthday money that HE gave me and is guilting me for accepting it. If I could just dissappear I wouldn't have to worry about finances. I'm gonna have to use my birthday money on food anyway because he keeps eating everything, even my safe foods I've explicitly told him not to touch. I don't feel like I'm allowed to want anything because he's just gonna bitch about money. I can't want any food because he'll eat it. I can't want clothes that fit me because despite him having more clothes than me he says he has nothing and I'm not allowed to get any clothes until he gets a new wardrobe. I'm not allowed to want to stay cool in these hot ass days because "the electric bill is too high" but we have a black fluffy cat, I need to turn on the ac so he doesn't have a heat stroke.

He calls me ugly, says I'm boney in the worst places and look pregnant. He's told me that since I can't work he expects our apartment to be 5 star holel levels of clean, but he's a slob who literally gets food on the walls when he cooks. He expects me to work out for an hour a day doing things my physical therapists have told me NOT TO DO, but he doesn't care, he just hates my saggy boobs and thinks push ups are the only thing that'll fix it. He wants me to only eat boiled beans despite my doctors saying I can't digest them because he wants all the food I bought for myself. He bitches when I'm bored because he insists on only buying things to get me to shut up and then complains about it when I'd've just been content with a walk to the creek.

I'm not allowed to want anything. I'm not allowed to have or enjoy anything. Why would I want another year of this? My family won't help me get away from him, despite them being why I'm too physically broken to work, but of course I can't live with anyone without paying them to even be allowed in their presence.

I hate it. I hate everyone. My only support is my cat. Everyone else in my life sucks, but the common denominator is me, which means there's nothing wrong with them and everything they expect is reasonable and I just don't want to be here anymore.

I don't want to turn 22 because it just means more expectations, more demands, more Chris depriving me from any joy I could squeeze out of anything. More family treating me like shit for being near them. More food that I can't eat even if I've clearly stated it's mine. More hell.

I want to disappear. I want to be a ghost, wandering this world, finding things interesting until I'm forgotten about completely. I want to look how I feel but no one will take me seriously until I'm on my deathbed.

Happy birthday to me, another year of hating my existence.

[chiliger]

You know he’s gonna get away with it.

[deadnightmeat]

I spent my birthday making this and playing SH2 :(

[sceebybeeby]

mikeko is getting old :/

[unorcadox]

i don’t know what i did to deserve someone / like you in my life but maybe it’s for a reason

[neytui]

Today's my birthday!!!! ✨✨

Some vent below

The past few months have been a complet mess for me. First on march, my great aunt who has been diagnosed with cancer for two years sadly passed away, this was no surprise for any of us so I was not as sad about it if I'm honest. A week before this my dad had an accident and broke his talon and had to have surgery, this was the same day my aunt passed. My dad is fine and has healed all good. Now recently, a month ago I think, my cousin, who's I have grown with, same age as me, went to same school and everything, was diagnosed with a tumor on her brain. Was about 8 cm long and was causing her really strong headaches, it needed to be extracted as soon as possible, but the operation was very expensive so our family need to collect money first. We finally met a doctor willing to do the surgery and she was operated the Thursday, I saw her yesterday and she's thankfully doing fine. While we were on this, I felt incredible sick one day while I was on college, to the point I couldn't talk anymore. I went to the neurologist and he told me to get some exams, he diagnosed with athipics migraines and since that day I've been feeling sick and sad, that was on the fifteen. I was really hoping to feel good on my birthday, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I'm writing this on the 27 so I hope I'm feeling better tomorrow on my birthday. Regardless I would still like to thank everyone who welcome me on this place, I really have enjoyed it. I'm really sorry I haven't been able to post anything in a while but with the family, health, college and commission matters it has been really hard.

I hope everyone is having a good day :)

[echoingalaxies]

Whumpee spending their birthday alone - they knew it would happen, and they didn't expect anything more, but it still does suck, as the hours drag by and maybe they try to kill time by going for walks or rotting online, but it doesn't erase the boredom and the loneliness they can't do anything about.

[itsmyfriendisaac]

♉ May 13th: Fitness Model, Michael Vente.