#breaking the rain

[1-1-s1ay-2-2]

Yeah, but I don't want to be with a man.

Nor do I want my "change" for (or because of) a man -- or my success being because of, or given by a man.

I want that one thing for me.

I want to be responsible for creating my own happiness.

I understand God is the one who gives anything I receive relating to my destiny, but also...what about what I have to do; the work and dedication to my dreams and goals -- in also making my happiness happen? I play a huge part in creating my own happiness while I simultaneously team up with God for His guidance and redemption throughout the process.

And that's the thing...to trust the process, I need to be allowed the time it takes for that process to complete without having a man (or men) perpetually bombarding me virtually (or in reality) for love and ships and all that stuff.

I can't do that right now. I'm not in the right place in my life to commit myself to something like that atm.

God gives, but I am still responsible for being happy on my own. I don't want that to be something a man gives me, I want to allow God to help me give that to myself.

Then, and only then will I be in a healthy, loving, and caring place to reciprocate that kind of mutual, mature, respectful, tender love to someone.

I'm not giving credibility for my personal growth and the reason for my inner happiness to anyone but me because that is exactly what I've already been doing my entire life.

Depending on a man for my supposed existence...my miserable existence because I never really took any real time for myself and making my life what I truly desired it to be.

So, for now...it's like this because this is how I feel. I don't want to be involved with a man -- not even my own husband.

Not in the virtual world, not in real life. I don't want to live with a man. I don't want to attempt to fulfill all the irrational expectations a man has of me every day.

I don't want to cohabitate with a man, wake up to a man, or share a bedroom or bed with a man. I don't want to be the on-call holes he pokes or gropes or taps or slaps. I don't want to see him as the last thing before I fall asleep at night.

I need some time for myself. Time to grow and figure out who I am all over again and make amends with my past and heal from the painful baggage that has plagued me since forever...and I can't do that while a man is expecting me to attend to his needs of happiness stemming from the expectations he has of me.

I'm not ready for that. I'm in the PROCESS OF HEALING.

I haven't fully healed yet so you need to step back and allow that to happen. Because true love does that stuff. If it sees by holding something is harming or killing it, then the kind and loving thing to do is set it free. You need to do that with me. Because until I'm free and on my own, I'll never learn to let love in again. I'll never be able to feel love again...and I do miss that feeling of love...but also...

I've learned some things about myself in the last year...my details 💯

I like sleeping by myself.

I like having the covers all for me.

I like waking up to sunshine instead of grief.

I like being able to do what I want when I want how I want and not having to answer to any one man in particular.

I like being free from the obligation of tending to a man's sexual needs.

I desire freedom and independence more than I desire a man...and I just need the universe to please understand that.

[astrolavas]

more ko-fi requests!

[novelist-becca]

That moment when you realize that THIS was technically Raine’s first “appearance”

[geoledgy]

Does anyone want to hear about me and my friends' insanely intricate Breaking Bad Geoscience AU about Walter White being a former volcanologist with silicosis who turns to fracking and finds Jesse Pinkman siphoning gas with a tube at a gas station

[slugfishh]

college doodles

[excessive-moisture]

a tower of slugrat

[anthurak]

Something I was always a little concerned about in the lead-up to Hazbin Hotel was that Charlie was going to be a bit too passive of a character, ie; leaning only into the ‘kind, optimistic Disney-Princess-in-Hell who just wants to help everyone’ vibe and not really have much else going on as a character. Which in turn would make her feel kind of bland next to the big, over-the-top or dramatic personalities like Angel Dust and Alastor.

But thankfully, that is not what happened and there’s actually a lot that I like about what the writers are doing with Charlie, particularly in the potential future development and reveals they seem to be setting up.

First off, I like how Charlie generally comes off more like an over-the-top caricature of that ‘Disney-Princess-in-Hell’ vibe, ie; SUPER energized, enthusiastic, affectionate and emotional, often to overbearing degrees that get on everyone’s nerves. It’s generally funny, or at least amusing, and lets Charlie stand out alongside the other big personalities in the cast. Funny enough, she’s actually a lot like Blitzo in this regard, minus the seesawing into extreme abrasiveness.

And more importantly, we’ve already gotten major hints all but confirming that this over-the-top personality is largely a façade, and that Charlie actually has some very clear issues and baggage that she’s working VERY hard to keep buried beneath the surface. Again, much like Blitzo.

Like how in the trust-fall exercise in episode three, despite asking everyone to reveal something personal, Charlie actually bullshits just as hard as Angel Dust and Sir Pentious with her whole ‘I love you all!’ bit. Sure, it’s not like she was lying or being insincere, but it’s clear that was NOT something truly personal for Charlie. And in episode 4 we have Husk straight-up calls out Charlie as ‘wanting to solve everyone’s problems but her own’.

Then of course we have the brief glimpses we’ve seen of Charlie getting angry. Both the times we’ve seen Charlie dealing with some truly despicable and horrendous characters, we’ve seen that rather than lacking the ability to get angry, Charlie is often working to hold herself back. In both her encounters with Adam and Valentino we see points where Charlie is clearly NOT intimidated or afraid of them at all and seems fully prepared to throw down, only being stopped by reigning herself in or by someone else (in this case Angel) stopping her.

Again, it all paints Charlie’s big, bubbly, hyperactive exuberance as something of a front, a way for her to bury a lot of thoughts, feelings and general baggage she doesn’t want to face. Just like what the show has already explored with Angel and Husk.

It actually raises some interesting questions as to what’s REALLY driving Charlie in running the hotel and trying to help Sinners. For one, Husk has already pegged Charlie as ‘wanting to solve everyone’s problems but her own’. And going back to thematic crossover with Helluva Boss, I can’t help but see some potential parallels between Charlie creating the Hazbin Hotel, and Blitzo creating Immediate Murder Professionals.

I think it’s pretty clear at this point that half the reason for creating I.M.P. was as a coping mechanism for Blitzo, or rather the assassination business in general. Something that we’ve gotten hints to as early as the second episode in Blitzo’s back and forth with the Robo-Fizz (“Does anyone love you, Blitzo?”/“No. But I’m really good with guns now!”). With the other half of the reason Blitzo created I.M.P. clearly seems to be to create a surrogate family, as seen with how much he tries to insert himself in the M&M’s lives. Possibly even a specific attempt to replace the family he unwittingly destroyed fifteen years ago.

So I really have to wonder if we’re going to find out that Charlie creating the hotel and her goal of redeeming sinners is in part likewise a coping mechanism and escape for her own baggage.

It’s actually really interesting how episode two first introduced the idea of people opening up with Sir Pentious, then episode four dived further into the concept of the walls and fake personas people put up to hide from their pain and trauma with Angel Dust and Husk. With those two opening up and starting to let their walls down to each other, and by extension we the audience, I think it makes Charlie’s own façade all the more noticeable. It’ll be pretty interesting if Charlie actually winds up being the toughest nut to crack when it comes to opening up about their real issues and baggage. Yet another interesting trait she shares with Blitzo.

All in all, I’m really liking what the show has been doing with Charlie as a protagonist. And I’m REALLY interested to see where the story is going to take her.

Particularly what’s going to happen when she reaches a breaking point…

[kelthebarb]

Dew’s element change, except it wasn’t traumatic.

he goes into the ceremony and he transforms into this beautiful ball of fire, his eyes turning an orangey color, his gills seeping back into his skin and they leave little scars that look like tiger stripes, his horns fading to a black with the tips ever-so-slightly red, and it doesn’t hurt him.

it feels warm, and it finally feels right. he finds peace in the fire.

[gamoraswonder]

[shkika]

guilty little guy

[macchitea]

haven't drawn them in so long aaa

[yutapet]

3:47 모퉁이를 돌면 줄을 서고, 블록 위로 줄을 서고, 때로는 집중할 시간이 되면 담배를 멈추기도 합니다. 디올, 내 바지, 벨루어 창조하고, 탐험하고, 확장하고, 정복하세요

[teartra]

Dana to Lumity : we have always known Amity and Luz would get together 👩‍❤️‍👩🥰♥️💜 and I was very excited ✨💜💕 to show a casual☺️♥️ cute 🥹🫶 queer relationship 🏳️‍🌈👩‍❤️‍👩 in contrast of demonic, scary, drama side of the show 👻😈💜♥️💕

Dana to Raeda :

[katiethelmie]

Monday mornings are for dreaming

[bruciemilf]

“Too Sweet” by Hozier is a superbat anthem btw

[mistbix]

f out my way when you see me im rolling with the lgbt