#building trust in a relationship

[sikapa41]

How to Avoid Online Romance Scams

Introduction: In this digital era, finding love or companionship online is becoming more popular. However, with the rise in popularity of online dating platforms and social media, there has also been a surge in online romance scams. These scams cannot only break your heart but also leave you financially devastated. To help you navigate the online dating world safely, we have compiled a list of…

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile

[mxwhore]

Idk if you already got this request a while back but ever since I saw your sphinx Martin I would think what about a Harpy Jon to go with him

i hadnt actually! very fun to think about

[space-cadet-is-going-to-sleep]

i like labru more than kabumisu bc i want to see kabru get worse more than i want to see mithrun get better

[sabrgirl]

7 tips in getting closer to Allah SWT

read the Qur'an everyday reading the word of Allah and understanding what you are reading will make you feel close to Him as you know that this is not a Book that anyone has just written - it has come directly from Allah SWT. subhanallah. reading and understanding what He says will make you want to practise what the Qur'an says and, in turn, be closer to Him.

be around people who remember Allah human beings have great influence on each other so it is important to have righteous people around you. their relationship with Allah SWT will inspire you to build and improve yours.

understand what you recite in salah knowing what you are reciting will help you understand how many blessings you are gaining with just a single prayer. take time to learn the translation (if you do not speak/understand arabic) of what you are reciting and why.

learn Allah's 99 names and attributes 'And to Allah alone belong all perfect attributes; so call on Him by these' (7:181) Allah likes it when we call Him by his names and it is important to recognise and understand Him. think of Him as your friend: when you get to know someone better, you get closer to them. it is the same thing, in fact, better, with Allah SWT.

have secret good deeds between you and Allah again, like having a friend, having something that is just between you and your Lord will make you feel closer to Him.

make lots of du'a - especially in sujood having your dua's come true is the best feeling, especially when you have been praying for something for a long time, alhamdulillah. praying for anything, no matter how big or small, will make you feel closer to Him as you know that He alone will make everything okay and knows what is best for you.

remember death and prepare for it this one can be very hard but it is important to remember that death can come at anytime so always try and do good deeds and live righteously in order to please Allah. when having this mindset that each day is a new chance to seek forgiveness and do good deeds, you will feel closer to Him by wanting Him to be happy with you.

[therethatstar]

i find it really fascinating that so many people are frustrated about phumpeem’s relationship label or the lack of it. when it’s evident that it’s not even bothering the characters themselves.

they never had a conventional start to begin with anyway so why did you expect their relationship to go step by step according to whatever manual you have about how a romantic relationship should work. and this also goes back to kissing someone doesn’t equivalent to liking them. same as being physically attracted to someone doesn’t mean you’re emotionally in love with them.

everything about phumpeem started out as physical attraction. peem kissed phum in ep 5 without even knowing whether he genuinely likes the dude or not, literally kissing for the sake of kissing. because he simply just wanted to kiss phum. and that is okay ! that’s fine. that’s normal. it doesn’t have to be that deep. things like this DO happen in real life and im baffled that most people just don’t get it.

and yes, it sounds silly that by ep 12, peem is telling phum to try to win his heart after EVERYTHING they have done with one another. but peem WANTS this. he didn’t get to have this prior to everything and he wants it. yes he’s clearly already in love with phum, he knows it, phum knows it, everyone and their mothers know it. but sue him for wanting phum to romance him up a little. a little courting. for wanting phum to woo him. sweeping him off his feet. for wanting all the cheesy cringey things that come with that early stage of falling in love.

and for phum, he knows that they had a rough start. fully aware that he wasn’t that nice to peem in the beginning and he clearly wants to make up for it. he openly telling peem how he feels now, he directly flirts and he tells peem that he’s flirting. all of his cards are out and they’re fully out this time. he’s not shy anymore, he’s not insecure about showing peem how he feels. he’s not taking two steps forward and one step back. he’s all in. and he’s happy to do all of that in order to attempt to win peem’s heart, just like how peem had asked him to do so. yes he KNOWS peem already likes him but that’s not gonna stop him from doing his absolute best to pursue peem. he’s not taking anything for granted. peem’s feeling included.

and i can not stress this enough so i will keep reiterating it, this process WORKS for them. they’re going so steady and they’re comfortable in this nest of a relationship that they have built for each other. so why are we as audiences so bothered by the fact that they haven’t called each other boyfriends yet ? when they’re clearly far passed that. they can do the boyfriend label this ep or they can do it in ep16. it’s clearly not a problem for them because they already feel so secured with one another.

so idk. sit back and enjoy the fucking show maybe ? it’s a cute little gay show about a bunch university gay boys in their early 20s. why does it have to be so serious for some of y’all?

[jackdaw-and-hattrick]

Hot Take:

Of the Bats, Dick is the best at being liked, Jason is the best at being loved.

[sabh0]

Is skk abusive? Other than the name calling and banter that I just don't take seriously, I've seen people say that Dazai is abusive since he planned for Chuuya to be tortured in stormbringer and didn't help because it would be boring, despite having the ability to do so. There's also the whole manipulating the sheep thing.

I've also seen people say that Chuuya is abusive because of how violent he is, how he punched Dazai to wake him up in Dead Apple and called him inhuman(? Ngl, I don't remember that part) and because Chuuya shot him more times than necessary in Meursault.

Personally, I struggle to see them as abusive r toxic, if only because of how much they trust and understand each other, and how they rile each other up for fun without letting it actually impact their relationship, but I may just be biased? What do you think?

Ok im just gonna say - dont take this post ad some 100% real wisdom or anything. It's just my personal opinion and it's definitely biased as well because of how much these two mean to me but yeah

I wouldn't call them abusive in relationship terms because all that banter and most of their fights are just, as u said it, unserious.

They're both fucked up a bit tho, so yeah there's definitely some toxic behaviours anyway.

Dazai manipulating Chuuya to join the sheep always made me real sad, but if you think about it more - Dazai knew The Sheep aren't any better for Chuuya. Plus if not like this, Mori would get Chuuya to join PM anyway in one way or another, since it was a plan from the beginning.

Dazai planned the whole 'helping Verlaine' thing to buy time so the PM forces could get ready to protect Mori and Chuuya later. That's mafia they're in - lives are not equal. Also Dazai wouldn't put Chuuya in danger he knew the other wouldn't be able to deal with. Either way, his whole yapping about wanting to see Chuuya being tortured is yet again that stupidly weird banter of theirs. After all, he's trying to find him and literally stop him from doing something he would regret. (Sab is trying to make some points but that still doesn't make whatever Dazai did something good. Just sayin. I just don't feel it's a black or white situation.)

I said it some time ago but lord, Chuuya is not abusive. Look, he knows when it's alright to fight Dazai and when he should stop himself not to hurt him. Even if they fight, he never does it seriously. Basement scene? He could've very well just punched Dazai without warning there. But instead he literally invited him to fight - and Dazai very much agreed to that sht with a smile on his lips. They're just very much not okay in the head on both sides. Later when Chuuya actually got angry, he himself threw his knife to the ground, which only shows he doesn't really have any intent of hurting Dazai seriously (In the manga. In the anime they changed it for whatever reason and he did strike him with the knife. But anime skk is just. Anime skk.).

That Dead Apple argument is so funny bc??? Chuuya was literally UNDER CORRUPTION AT THE TIME??? Corruption literally makes him lose control. He could kill a person with one touch. Instead??? Corruption Chuuya in dead apple somehow managed to hold himself back just enough not to actually hurt Dazai. Also, Dazai f knew he's gonna punch him anyway. I mean, bro kinda deserved it atp tbh /j

Cant really tell much about the shooting thing in Meursault - i stil have no f idea if these were even real, considering the fact Dazai is moving normally and there's no wounds/holes/blood visible on him or his clothes. These were probably just a play like the whole headshot thing?? (Tho dazai's scream and expression after that arm shot say otherwise),, really don't know, call it a better impression on Fyodor or Chuuya actually paying Dazai back for the other times

Ok so ,looks at all that sht i just wrote and tried to still excuse it somehow, I wouldn't call them abusive anyway just bc I've seen actual abusive relationships in real life and that's just uhh different in a way i cant really put my finger on,, there's some toxicity simply from the fact they're emotionally constipated and won't talk things thru like they should but,,, welp. Tbh i see most of their usual fighting as something unserious that both of em r okay with. Usually when they actually get into an argument about something it's because one actually got hurt by the other's words (for example that scene with Chuuya punching Dazai after he made jokes about Colonel's death). And they apologize without really apologizing, too (Dazai going to find Shibusawa and trying to take revenge on Colonel's death and later Chuuya going to rescue Dazai and saying to 'wait for him').

Unpopular opinion but i honestly feel that in the future they could very well form a normal, healthy relationship. They just really need to talk. Bickering and calling each other names for fun isn't imo really a form of abuse, when both sides know it's not meaning to hurt the other fr (if it was, then me and most of my friends would be fr abusing each other unfortunately) (and I don't feel abused even if we call each other names and say we hate each other, while watching cat reels together at the same time) (consider this some sibling-like stuff)

If nothing of whatever i just said makes sense, don't eat me please, it's just really hard for me to explain what i really think without being able to just talk for 5h straight while considering every ppint of view

[small-z24]

Love in the Shadows Pt. 5

Summary:

Azriel decides it's time to introduce Y/n to the Night Court. Nervous about their reactions, he takes Y/n to the House of Wind, where the couple's relationship is revealed. Unknown to Y/n, she is Azriel's mate, and Rhysand senses the bond but keeps it to himself.

Word Count: 717

Warnings: None

Introducing Y/n

Azriel stood at the entrance of the House of Wind, his heart pounding in his chest. He glanced at Y/n beside him, her hand clasped tightly in his. She gave him a reassuring smile, her eyes filled with love and encouragement.

"It’s going to be fine," she said softly, squeezing his hand.

He nodded, taking a deep breath. "I know. I just... I want them to understand how important you are to me."

"They will," she assured him. "We’re in this together."

With a final, fortifying breath, Azriel led Y/n into the main hall. The Night Court members were gathered, discussing various matters. Cassian was the first to notice their arrival.

"Az, who's this?" Cassian asked, a curious look on his face.

Azriel swallowed hard, his grip on Y/n’s hand tightening. "There’s something we need to tell you all," he began, his voice steady despite the nerves churning in his stomach.

The room fell silent as all eyes turned to them. Rhysand and Feyre exchanged a glance, a hint of a smile playing on Rhysand’s lips.

"Go on, Az," Rhysand encouraged, his tone gentle.

Azriel took a deep breath, his eyes meeting each of his friends in turn. "This is Y/n. We’ve been seeing each other for a while now."

For a moment, there was silence, and then Mor’s eyes narrowed slightly. "Seeing each other? How long has this been going on?"

"Three months," Azriel replied, trying to keep his voice calm. "I wanted to be sure before I introduced her to you all."

Cassian crossed his arms, a skeptical look on his face. "Why haven’t we heard about her before now?"

Azriel felt a pang of anxiety. "I needed to be sure. Y/n is important to me, and I wanted to protect what we have."

Feyre stepped forward, offering Y/n a warm smile. "Welcome, Y/n. It’s a pleasure to meet you."

Y/n returned the smile, though Azriel could feel the slight tremble in her hand. "Thank you, Feyre. It’s an honor to be here."

Rhysand nodded, his gaze assessing but kind. "Anyone important to Az is important to us. Welcome to the Night Court, Y/n."

Mor and Cassian exchanged a look, their apprehension still evident. "Well, if Azriel trusts you, that’s good enough for me," Mor said, though her tone was cautious.

Cassian nodded slowly. "Yeah, just... we’re protective of our family. You understand."

Y/n smiled, her eyes meeting Cassian’s with understanding. "I do. And I promise, I only want what’s best for Azriel."

The group settled into a more relaxed atmosphere, though the initial tension lingered slightly. They moved to the sitting area, where drinks were poured and conversations began to flow more easily.

Cassian leaned back in his chair, still watching Y/n with a hint of curiosity. "So, Y/n, how did you two meet?"

Azriel glanced at Y/n, giving her a reassuring nod. She took a deep breath and began to recount the story of their meeting, how Azriel had saved her from a dangerous situation.

"And ever since then, he’s been my rock," she concluded, her voice filled with gratitude. "I don’t know where I’d be without him."

Mor’s expression softened slightly. "That sounds like our Az. Always the hero."

Rhysand observed quietly, sensing the bond between Azriel and Y/n but keeping his thoughts to himself. He knew this was a revelation that would come in its own time.

Azriel felt a surge of relief as the group began to accept Y/n, their initial apprehension melting away. He knew it would take time for them to fully trust her, but this was a good start.

As the evening wore on, the conversations grew lighter, filled with laughter and stories. Azriel watched as Y/n interacted with his friends, her warmth and kindness shining through.

Later, as the evening wound down, Azriel and Y/n found themselves alone on the balcony, the city of Velaris spread out before them.

"How are you feeling?" Y/n asked, leaning into his side.

"Relieved," Azriel admitted, wrapping an arm around her. "And happy. Thank you for being so amazing."

She smiled, resting her head on his shoulder. "We’re in this together, remember?"

"Always," he agreed, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Always."

Author's Note: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this continuation of Azriel and Y/n's story. Feel free to leave comments and let me know your thoughts!

[sikapa41]

Dating Problems And Solutions

Dating problems and solutions

Dating can be an exciting and rewarding experience, but it can also be difficult because finding the right partner isn’t always easy. With the advent of dating apps and websites, the dating scene has become even more complex as many people struggle with various dating issues. In this article, we will discuss some common dating problems and offer possible solutions to these problems. Problem:…

[wayti-blog]

“A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.. Until their secret is given to another to look after, then perhaps two human creatures may know each other..”

― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

[mamawasatesttube]

like. okay. thinking about this some more and tbh it is kind of insane to me the way people will sometimes characterise core four, and kon specifically, as being completely unconditionally on board with tim not revealing his real name or face to them prior to wwyj.

like, i know the real reason is that the people doing this simply don't read comics. which is such a fucking wall to run into. but man... tim not telling them his identity when everyone else had revealed theirs to each other/didn't have one to begin with was the biggest driving force behind the tim and kon fight on apokalips. the same way kon was upset and hurt that superman never told him he's also clark kent. kon is very explicitly not cool with being left out of the loop about things as big as secret identities. it makes him feel like the other person doesn't consider him trustworthy, and then he starts questioning their relationship. (once again, pointing at the kon & lois conversation post hypertime arc when he finds out clark's secret identity.)

i love identity shenanigans. i love identity angst. i think thats one of the most fun things about the superhero genre! and aus where they don't know each other's ids can be fun!!! but it's like. INCREDIBLY out of character for that not to be a driving force of conflict if kon is involved in any way.

[dreadeves]

i always see people saying “but johnny loved kit!/i believe johnny loved kit” as a defense against the abuse allegations but like. yall do realize that ‘love’ doesn’t mean you can’t abuse someone. right. all those “well it wasn’t really love if they did that” type posts are complete horseshit. you realize that, right. “love” is not some holy, untouchable, ‘pure’ concept, and it can’t keep a relationship afloat itself— you realize you need more than love to make a relationship work, right. regardless of if johnny loved kit, he still fucked him up. the intent/love doesn’t matter in the long run, what he actually fucking did does

[silverwhittlingknife]

How do you feel about Jack Drake?? What are your thoughts on him and Tim’s relationship?

Anon, I hope you were interested in a novel, because look, I am fascinated by Jack Drake.  He’s key to a whole lot of what I find compelling about Tim as a character, and if I were in charge of DC, I’d bring him back to life.  This would make Tim unhappy but would IMO make for good plotlines.

Jack and Tim’s relationship is Complicated (TM)...

Jack and Tim hug in Nightwing 20 / Jack impulsively yanks a TV out of the wall in Robin 45 / Tim grieves in Identity Crisis

“I could tell the truth.  But I don’t.” - Robin 66

...and it involves a whole lot of Tim lying, and feeling guilty about lying, and thinking about telling the truth, and choosing again and again to keep lying.

And I think that’s great.

Below the cut:

Shorter version - key points about Jack

Really long version - my gentler take (vigilantism is choir and Jack loves sports) vs. my harsher take (Jack has some major flaws)

Final thoughts

Shorter version - key points about Jack:

He’s a bad parent.  He’s self-centered, he consistently prioritizes his own comfort and interests over his son’s, and when upset, he does things like order Tim off to boarding school.

But he’s never a bad parent in an actionable way.  He’s not like David Cain or Arthur Brown, who are abusive monsters.  Jack’s not a monster!  He just...kinda sucks.

He genuinely loves Tim. If Jack’s aware that Tim’s disappeared or is in trouble, he’s always worried and upset.  He periodically resolves to be a better dad, and IMO he’s always sincere.

And Tim loves him, a lot.  Tim’s protective of him and worries about him when he’s kidnapped or in danger, and when they’re reunited, Tim’s really relieved and usually hugs him (and Jack hugs back!). 

...But they have very little in common, and that’s a problem. Jack doesn’t value the things that Tim values, or respect the people that Tim admires, or care about the things that Tim’s interested in.  Tim lies to him a lot, but that’s partly because he correctly guesses Jack wouldn’t respond well if he knew the truth of what Tim’s up to.

The Batfamily is a surrogate family that Tim’s drawn to because of the ways his real family doesn’t meet his emotional needs…but also he feels guilty about that and disloyal. (And to the extent that his dad recognizes what’s going on, he's jealous and resentful!)

Very long version:

(LISTEN I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS)

Okay!  So first: Jack’s a character who IMO is pretty up for interpretation.  You can interpret him very charitably, and make excuses for the bad behavior, and fill in the blanks sympathetically when situations are ambiguous; or you can interpret him uncharitably, and emphasize the bad behavior. I don’t think either approach is invalid - it depends on what kind of story you’re interested in!  I have enjoyed Bad Dad stories and also stories that redeem Jack.

My personal take on canon is that Jack and Tim’s relationship is in a gray area.  Jack's definitely neglectful, and he does prioritize other things over Tim, but he’s never so bad that Tim can easily reject him, and he's never so bad that Bruce could justify taking Tim away.  He's just...not great.  Tim loves him, and feels loyal to him, but it’s a very mixed-up complicated love.

I have a gentler take and a harsher one which I switch between as the spirit moves me. xD

My Gentler Take (tl;dr: vigilantism is choir and Jack loves sports)

Here’s the core conflict: Jack and Tim are very different people with different values.  Tim idolizes Bruce and Dick and vigilantism, and secretly gets involved, knowing his dad will hate it. He gets increasingly wrapped up in his secret world and lies to his dad...because if his dad finds out, he’ll make Tim quit.

This is a great setup for an ongoing comic.  It’s practical, because it provides endless potential for plotlines, and it’s nicely thematic, because it maps closely onto relatable real-life situations with extracurricular activities:

Tim the drama nerd whose dad thinks he’s playing football and not in the school play; 

Tim the closeted-queer kid secretly getting involved in his school’s politically-active Gay-Straight Alliance; 

Tim the choir kid whose dad only values making money and wants him to go into the family business (and Tim keeps promising himself he'll give up choir soon, definitely soon, but maybe he'll stay in just a liiiittle longer, because they need him, you see, the last tenor left town, so...); 

Tim the computer geek with the sports-obsessed dad (this one’s just canon);

etc. etc.  

The extracurricular metaphor works pretty well for Tim’s relationship to vigilantism.  Tim's involved in his "extracurricular" because he genuinely thinks it's important and fulfilling, and he values it and wants to be good at it. He idolizes Bruce and Dick because they're good at it. He's been collecting information about it since he was a little kid, and hiding it from his parents because he knows they wouldn't approve. And mayyyybe there's also an element of low-key rebellion against his dad, and maybe that's secretly part of the appeal. And yet also as Tim gets more and more invested, he starts to daydream: maybe I could tell my dad and he'd be proud of me and supportive. But he doesn't, because actually he knows his dad would be upset and angry and make him quit.

And - again, just like with lonely kids and extracurricular hobbies - one of the things that happens is that Tim starts getting his unfilled emotional needs met ... by people he knows through this secret hobby. And people like Bruce and Dick start turning into a surrogate family. Which Tim feels guilty about. And also as Tim gets more and more wrapped up in their world, he has to lie to his dad even more, which means the distance between Tim and his dad gets bigger and bigger and more and more unfixable.

I love this dilemma. It's simple, it's recognizable, it provides endless sources for conflict, and there's no obvious solution! Tim can't tell Jack: he'll make Tim quit! And Tim doesn't want to quit, because he loves choir / art / theater / whatever.  Yeah, it’s difficult, and there are challenges, and sometimes he has doubts...but at the end of the day, he cares about it a lot.  And everything he values is there, and all the people he admires and cares about are there, and all he wants in the world is to feel like he's one of them and belongs there. So he has to lie, even though he doesn't want to lie, and he feels guilty about it...

...but also he ends up lying more and more.

(Sidenote: I think it's important that Tim chooses to keep lying - Tim's narration often glosses this as "I have to lie to my dad," and that's certainly how it feels to Tim, but this... isn't quite true. He has to lie to his dad, because if he doesn't, his dad will get mad at him and try to stop him, not because he literally has no choice about it.)

Other Reasons Why I Like The "Secret Extracurricular" Interpretation

(tl;dr it complicates not just Tim's relationship with his dad, but also all his other relationships)

Tim's problems have some obvious parallels to Steph and Cass, who both become vigilantes while rejecting their evil supervillain dads. But Jack isn't evil. And that means the Tim-and-Jack relationship is ambiguous and complicated in ways that I like. Steph and Cass can just leave their Bad Dads in prison, and say good riddance, and feel very righteous and triumphant about it! Tim’s more complicated. Tim gets into vigilantism ostensibly out of duty and altruism, but secretly, he's also involved for straight-up selfish self-fulfillment reasons. He's lonely, and bored, and his life feels pointless, but he thinks that Bruce and Dick are cool and amazing and he wants to be a part of the things that they do.  When his dad gets jealous of Tim’s relationship to Bruce, and feels like Tim’s looking for a surrogate family, he’s... not wrong.

And the ways in which Jack is not Actionably Bad complicate things from Bruce's POV.  If Jack was a straight-up villain, it’d be an easy call to keep in touch when Jack finds out and makes Tim quit...but he’s not a villain, not really.  So what do you do?  Do you try to surreptitiously stay in touch with Tim even though you’re ignoring his dad’s express wishes and thus forcing Tim to sneak around?  Do you respect his dad’s wishes and stay away from Tim even though you have a years-long relationship at this point?  

Again: a bit similar to the extracurricular analogy.  Say you’re the choir director and you’ve built this whole relationship with a kid in the choir, and you’re an important mentor to him and you care about him etc. etc. etc.... and then right before a big performance, his dad finds out he’s been secretly involved, and yanks him out.  How would you react?  Well, maybe kind of in some of the ways Bruce reacts.  You replace him. You’re annoyed with him. You miss him. You want him to come back. You’re also worried about him.  You’re upset with his dad.  But also... what should you do, exactly?

Bruce and Alfred and Dick care about Tim as if he were part of their family, but he’s not part of their family, and there’s a lot of interesting tension there.

My Harsher Take

Jack never hits his son.  But his temper is a big deal.

In his worst moments, he takes out his anger on Tim’s stuff - wrecking his room, or ripping his TV out of the wall and confiscating it.  When he’s worried about Tim, he usually expresses that fear by yelling at him / punishing him / sending him away - threatening to send him to boarding school in Metropolis in Robin III, or threatening to send him to military school abroad in Robin 92, or actually forcing him to go to an all-boys' boarding school post-NML.  

This is bad behavior!  It is Not Good!  

And you can easily connect the dots to a bunch of Tim’s terrible coping mechanisms, like the constant lying and or the fact that Tim’s go-to methods for dealing with interpersonal conflict are 1) repress it and pretend it never happened (most of his fights with Bruce), 2) withdraw from the relationship until he can pretend the conflict doesn’t exist (when his friends get mad at him in YJ, he quits the team for a while), or 3) literally run away from home.

Also, Jack is a Manly Man with firm opinions about how men behave vs. how women behave, and he thinks boys shouldn’t be scared and thinks Tim should date hot girls and pushes Tim to work out and wants him to play football and expresses period-typical sexism, etc. etc. etc. ... and though obviously this wasn’t what the writers had in mind at the time, all of that is certainly interesting to read backwards in the light of Tim as a queer character.

More Disorganized Thoughts on Jack Drake

Tim’s our hero, so we’re naturally more sympathetic to him, but it’s also true that relationships are a two-way street, and Tim doesn’t value any of the things his dad values, either.  Jack at various points is shown to care about grades, business, money, boarding schools, archeology, football, a kind of macho bragging-about-dating-hot-women ethos, and a very public and performative kind of caring. Tim tends to respond with discomfort or disinterest or even disgust.  When Jack gets on TV to try to rally the government to save his son from No Man’s Land, Tim isn’t touched—he’s mortified.  When Jack makes some bad investments and loses money, Jack’s deeply upset and his self-image is majorly impacted, and far from being sympathetic, Tim’s annoyed and kind of contemptuous of the idea that this is a problem.  Jack thinks fishing in the early morning and going to tennis matches is a fun father-son activity; Tim finds it exhausting and tedious.  And so on.

This means that Tim often longs to be closer to his dad in theory, but this longing is more tied to fantasy than to reality. He rarely seems to enjoy spending time with His-Dad-The-Actual-Person.  So for example, when Tim’s deadly ill with the Clench, he has an extremely poignant fever dream about telling his dad the truth and getting hugged…even as he insists in real-life to Alfred and Dick that he does not want them to tell his dad what’s going on.

The same is true of Jack, who IMO genuinely wants to be closer to his son and is continually declaring that he’s going to turn over a new leaf and get closer to his son…and just as continually backs out of activities or loses his temper when faced with spending time with his actual son.

Tim and his dad sadly get along best—by far—in Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder situations.  When Jack gets kidnapped or is in danger, Tim worries for him (and Tim grieves him deeply when he dies).  When Tim disappears or runs away, Jack’s genuinely worried about him.  So e.g. they have a really moving emotional reunion and hug when the earthquake hits Gotham, and Tim panics about his dad’s safety and comes running home (and meanwhile Jack’s been panicked about Tim’s safety!).  It’s the day-to-day, regular life stuff where they don’t connect.

Jack's written quite differently by different writers. Mostly, Tim's parents are at their least likable in his early appearances and early miniseries (this is where you get, for example, Jack and Janet being nasty at each other while a pained employee looks on, and Tim disappointed to once again get news of where his parents are via postcard - "I guess that sums them up! Never know where they’re going to be–or when–or even how long!” - and Tim alone on school break, and Bruce and Alfred thinking there's something weird going on with Tim's parents, etc. etc.). Jack's more sympathetic but still often unlikable in most of Tim's Robin solo, and he's almost invisible (but positively treated if he does show up) in Tim's team books.

For obvious reasons, Jack's remembered way more sympathetically after his death. Tim's completely devastated by Jack's murder, which he arrives moments too late to prevent, and he basically never gets over it. We see him grieving Jack again and again in Robin, and also in Teen Titans, and also in Resurrection, and again in the Halloween Special, and again in Batman: Blackest Night, and all the way up to the end of Red Robin. Tim also grieves for an extended time over Janet - he hallucinates a happy reunion with her when he's feverish in Contagion, and hallucinates her in the final issue of Robin, and the reveal-your-buried-emotions song in Robin 102 brings up his grief for her too (meanwhile, other characters dance or laugh or otherwise get giddy).  Tim’s grief over his parents’ deaths is intense and long-lasting.

I'm not going to clip comic panels because this is long enough, but if you're curious, here's a nice and fairly lengthy compilation of comic panels with Tim and Jack.

If you're interested in a Jack-centric story with a softer-but-still-recognizably-canon take on Jack, I really like the way Jack’s narration is written in the one-shots Heart Humble (set shortly before Jack dies) and Never a Hero (Ra's resurrects him during Brucequest, and Jack's archeology skills turn out to be unexpectedly useful).

[quinns-art-box]

rarepair week day 1: cookies/cupcakes they're having a nice summer tea party :]

@dr-rarepair-week-blog

[leona-florianova]

Would be seriously hilarious if Denji Chainsawman ends up finding out hes ace. I mean it would be bummer for him, but with the way his life is going, the irony wouldn't be a surprise.