#but I got so carried away by his ass that I even drew his miserable office

[capridosia]

Man, nice ass you have here Meme ref:

[wit-and-worry]

There’s this slightly younger acquaintance I have(had?) who seems to enjoy my company, and with whom I’ve only had seemingly mutually enjoyable and lengthy conversations, but who doesn’t usually initiate contact. He doesn’t seem very online, and has a strong and tight circle of friends he likes. He’s interesting. He’s bright and respectful. He’s almost too polite, in person. But is it so hard to communicate with him over text. Mostly because he doesn’t text back, for whatever reason.

Before we got to talking on the last day of my senior year(he was a Junior at the time), I was frankly intimidated by him. He was the brightest kid in my Hnrs Physics class. He seemed to pick up the material like a pile of feathers. He seemed friendly and confident and put together. He was starkly unlike me. I was and still am struggling not to be a miserable slob with no concept of time or personal responsibility every day. What drew my interest in pursuing a friendship was his evident interest in the kind of literature I was interested in. I saw many Asimov books on his desk and in his hand throughout the year, but also some classics like Heart of Darkness(which I figured was for class but I’m not sure of now), and the Slaughterhouse Five(maybe Cat’s Cradle? I saw him carrying a Vonnegut novel for sure), and some others I can’t remember the names of now, and an anthology of Camus’ short stories. When I saw him with those books I felt like a dog seeing another dog for the first time. My brain went: oh shit! Dog dog dog dog! (gonna go on a tangent now) I’ve historically gravitated towards classic lit, primarily because I had the idea that reading influential works of literature and studying them would help make me a better writer. Not that I didn’t and don’t earnestly enjoy them. Much of classic literature carries me way out of the modern world without alienating me from humanity. I can usually rely on it to be somewhat deftly written and it’s fun to geek out over. It’s fun but lonely. It is also very intimate and rewarding.

When I meet people who share that passion, it implies to me that they have the patience and curiosity and courage it takes to appreciate it.

I admit that, initially, there was also a glamor to the idea of being a young person, having all of that high brow literature under my belt, and as a result being praised by teachers for being articulate and mature and all of that. It’s embarrassing to admit, even to myself, that my interest in classic literature is in part a consequence of my being given, as Savannah Brown once put it “well-timed praise”, but it is what it is.

I still do think that it is beneficial for those who are serious about writing to visit or revisit the work of influential writers. It’s just that now I feel a restless craving for transgressive art. I want to read the kind of fucked up and intimate fiction I want to write.

Anyway I started writing this post to bitch into the void to be honest, because I suspect that this acquaintance of mine isn’t interested in befriending me, and I’m bummed. I’ve reached out a few times either to start a conversation or schedule a hangout, but it’s getting to be a hassle. He has little reason to pursue my friendship, because he’s pretty content with his social life as it is. He’s pretty elusive. He’s apparently very busy. I’m not, which is why I’m pursuing. But I’m tired of making an ass of myself pursuing people. I’ve been the pursuer for most of my life. I might have to let this one go. Or just let him come to me, if he ever does. It’s weird. I’m overthinking this for sure. I just don’t want to drive him away. I think he’s cool, despite being a year younger than me lol. It may seem like I have a crush on this guy, but I promise that is not the case. I don’t want it to ever go there. He seems straight, besides. I’m just so lonely that it’s pathetic. It’s not gotten to the point that I will settle for anyone, but I hit it off with this guy in a way I haven’t with anyone in years. Hard not to want to relive that initial rush. I can’t help but wonder if I said something that creeped him out the last time we hung out. I can think of a few things that he may have misread, which keep me up at night. Well I don’t know what else to say so I’m going to stop here.

-some guy

[the-iceni-bitch]

Sweeter Than This

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!spy!Reader

Words: Mobile again ☹️

Summary: You almost miss your first Valentine’s Day with Bucky, but you have a plan to make it up to him.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (unprotected vaginal sex, oral sex(f receiving), salad tossing, unprotected anal sex, use of butt plug), violence (standard canon stuff), SMUT, 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: Happy V-Day y’all! Here’s the next entry in my Holidays With Bucky series (with so Sam sprinkled in) and it’s a fun one! Unfortunately, the power is out at my place right now due to snow and because my city sucks at preparations I’m probably not going to have power until at least Monday, so we’ll see if I’m able to deliver on my other promised Valentine’s treats for you all.

Check out my masterlist and join my taglist if you want!

Bucky hated clubs so much.

The loud music, the overcrowding, the overpriced drinks. He was absolutely miserable.

It didn’t help that Sam was bouncing around like an idiot, enjoying the atmosphere with a stupid grin on his face. Would it kill the man to act like a professional for once?

They’d followed the target to the Cross Club here in Prague after four days of surveillance with nothing to show for it, and now they were watching him talk to some new player in a VIP booth. God he hoped this would be over soon.

“What?” Buck shouted over the music. Sam had said something, but even with his super soldier hearing, he couldn’t make it out over the thumping bass.

“I said, is Y/N pissed you’re missing Valentines Day?” Sam yelled, his hips still moving in time to the music.

Bucky did some quick mental math and cursed under his breath. He hadn’t seen you in almost 3 weeks. You had to head back to the States for some stupid debrief with Sharon and the big bosses while he and Sam kept chasing leads on Zemo here in Europe. He hadn’t even realized it was Valentines Day.

“Shit, he’s moving.” Sam said, tapping Buck on the shoulder as the mark stood up and moved towards the dance floor.

“Fuck, can’t we go around?” Bucky whined, starting to follow after Sam towards the crowd.

“Y’know, when your girlfriend’s not around, you’re such an old man.” Sam teased. “We don’t wanna lose him, so pull the stick out of your ass and try to look like you’re enjoying yourself.”

Buck just rolled his eyes and trailed after him, doing his best to avoid the writhing, sweaty bodies that kept trying to grind against him. Sam was right, it was a lot easier to enjoy these types of ops when you were with him.

He didn’t know how they managed to keep eyes on the target as he moved through the crowd, but they saw him head out one of the exits and were following after him within a few minutes.

“Hey, Wilson? Where the fuck is he?” Buck hissed as he opened the door to an empty alley.

“Shit, hold on, let me pull up Redwing.”

“I still can’t believe you named that fucking thing.” Buck said exasperatedly.

Sam didn’t have a chance to reply before a motorcycle ripped past the two of them.

“Was that him?” Bucky yelled as he whipped his head after it. “Motherfucker!”

“Calm down, I got it.” Sam said, summoning his wings.

“Oh, I guess I’ll just run after him then? I told you we should’ve brought a car!”

“I could carry you.” Sam said teasingly, giving Bucky a stupid grin.

“Oh fuck you.” Buck said, flipping Sam off as he chuckled at him. “Shit!”

The two of them dove out of the way as a Lexus tore into the alley, stopping just short of hitting them.

“Hey assholes! Happy Valentine’s Day!!!” You shouted as you rolled down the window, a massive grin splitting your face.

“Baby!? What’re you doing here?!?” Bucky asked, beaming back at you.

“I had to get the fuck out of D.C. There was no way I’d miss our first Valentine’s Day! Besides, I missed the field! Now get in, I managed to tag his bike but I don’t want him to get out of range.”

“Shotgun!” Sam called with a grin on his face, making you laugh.

“What?!? Fuck you Wilson! You’re gonna make me sit in the back when this is the first time I’ve seen my girl in weeks?” Bucky said in disbelief.

“Sorry Barnes, you should’ve called it!”

“Yeah babe, you really should’ve called it.” You teased as he crawled into the back of the vehicle with a scowl.

“I can’t believe you’re taking his side.” He pouted at you as Sam climbed after him, bringing the back of his seat up to crash against Buck’s knees.

“There’s no sides, honey, it’s shotgun rules.” You said as you peeled out of the alleyway.

“Whatever, could you move your seat up Wilson?”

“Nope.” Sam said grinning over his shoulder before cursing under his breath and bracing one hand against the ceiling as you swerved around a slow moving van. “Jesus, Y/N! Maybe take it a little slower, we’re still in the city.”

You just snorted before taking a sharp turn at an inadvisable speed, barely tapping on the brakes and sending Bucky sliding across the backseat.

“Put your seatbelts on, idiots.” You scolded as the two of them tried to find something to grab onto.

“Honey, pedestrian, pedestrian, Pedestrian!!!” Buck screamed as he buckled himself in, screwing his eyes closed.

“Yeah, I see them.” You said as you took another turn at the last second, barely missing the man who was crossing the street.

“Oh my god! This is how I’m going to die.” Sam said, his knuckles white on the dashboard as you flew up a hill, the car actually suspending in midair for a beat before crashing back to the street with a jolt. “Stuck in a car with a crazy woman and her 100 year old boyfriend.”

“You’re so fucking dramatic.” You said with an eye roll, glancing at him sideways. “It’s like you’ve never been in a high speed chase before.”

“Eyes on the road!” Bucky shouted at you as an unsuspecting couple started to step off the curb directly into your path.

You hopped onto the walkway behind them to avoid the brake lights in front of you and your two passengers started letting out a steady stream of curses as you weaved between pedestrians and carts.

“Just relax you two, we’ve almost got him.” You said exasperatedly, somehow speeding up even more.

You rounded another corner and the bike popped into view, speeding out of the city at a breakneck speed.

“Shit, gun!” Sam screamed as the biker turned around, hefting an AK-47 and pointing it directly at the windshield.

He and Bucky ducked, hands covering their heads. They flinched as they heard a series of pops, then straightened up slowly when they realized the windshield was still intact.

“Yeah, it’s bulletproof.” You said with a grin as you kept the car steady with one hand, reaching under your seat to grab something. You handed a giant pistol to Sam. “There should be a rifle under the backseat, baby.”

“And what exactly do you want us to do with these?” Sam asked warily as Bucky drew out the rifle and nodded appreciatively.

“Shoot at him.” You said, following the bike around a sharp turn that had the boys bracing themselves.

“Fuck that! If you think I’m sticking half my body out of a window while you’re driving like this you’re insane!” Sam said in disbelief. “Besides the car is bulletproof.

“Yeah, well the tires aren’t, and if he hits one of those while I’m driving this fast, we’re all gonna get shredded.”

Bucky shook his head before rolling down his window and pulling his upper body out of the car, bringing the rifle up to return fire.

“You are both fucking crazy!” Sam said, rolling his own window down and shoving his shoulders out, bringing up his pistol.

The biker turned his focus to Bucky while Sam covered him, and you took the opportunity to speed up.

“What’re you doing, babe?” Bucky shouted into the car as you started to get closer to the bike.

“I’m gonna ram him.” You yelled back. “Keep covering me!”

“Umm, isn’t he supposed to lead us to Zemo? Shit!” Sam yelled, a bullet whizzing by his ear.

“I don’t think he’s leading us anywhere Sammy.”

“Well, we could still get information out of him!”

“Yeah, these guys have proven to be pretty impervious to interrogations, Wilson.” Buck said, gripping the roof of the car with his vibranium hand as you followed the bike around another curve.

“I really just need his phone!” You yelled as you closed the distance even further, now only 25 feet from the back tire of the bike. “You might want to get back inside.”

Sam yanked his upper body back into the vehicle with a curse and Buck slid back inside easily as you pressed the gas pedal to the floor. You hit the bike in a few seconds and sent it and the rider rolling over the car with a thud. As soon as it was clear you slammed on the brakes, sending the vehicle spinning out.

“Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod....” Sam was screaming as the car whipped around over and over, his eyes screwed shut and his hand braced against the roof of the vehicle while his foot braced against the dashboard.

Bucky just clenched his jaw and ripped his vibranium fingers through the back door to hold himself in place, shaking his head at Wilson.

The vehicle finally came to a stop about 200 feet away from where the bike had crashed. Sam wrenched his door open and dove out of the car, bending over and vomiting at the side of the road.

“You ok there Sammy?” You asked, rising from the driver’s seat gracefully and looking at your friend with concern as Bucky almost climbed over the front seat with a wince and joined you.

“Oh, what are you wearing?” He groaned as he finally got a good look at you. “Are you trying to kill me?”

It was a skin tight, patent leather pink dress that was pushing your tits together and up in an absolutely delicious way. The skirt barely covered your ass and he was sure there was no way you could bend over in it without flashing whoever was nearby.

“I told you, baby, it’s Valentines Day.” You sad with a grin as you stepped closer to him.

He moved to wrap his arms around you but you stepped away at the last second, moving back towards where the bike crashed with a light laugh as he let out a frustrated huff.

“What is wrong with you two?!” Sam said as he started to follow after you. “Your girlfriend almost kills me and all you want to do is jump her as soon as it’s over.”

“I mean, did you see that dress?” Bucky said teasingly as he joined your friend, walking a little faster to catch up with you.

“Got the phone!!” You said triumphantly as you straightened back up from your inspection of the dead body. “And it’s still in ok shape! I’m gonna call this in real quick and then we can head back.”

“No! I’m not going anywhere if you’re driving!” Sam said, shaking his head vehemently. “Gimme the keys.”

“C’mon Sammy!” You said with an eye roll.

“You do not get to call me Sammy right now, you psycho!” He said, snatching the keys out of your outstretched hand as you laughed at him. “And neither of you gets to sit shotgun! You sit in the back and think about what you’ve done.”

“Jesus, fine dad.” You said as you slid into the back seat, Bucky chuckling as he slid in after you and slammed the door closed.

Sam pulled the car forward a few feet, turning the wheel sharply before throwing it in reverse and spinning it in the opposite direction as he backed up.

“Uh, Sammy?” You said as he repeated the process. “Maybe just crank the wheel all the way and pull a little further forward?”

“Yeah, it’s not called a 13 point turn, Wilson.”

“Both of you shut the fuck up!! I’m not taking driving advice from you!” He shouted over his shoulder as he did the exact same thing and you lost it, laughing hysterically.

“Oh my god, there’s like 15 feet of road that you’re not using!” You said breathlessly as you cracked up Bucky grinning as he watched you fold over in laughter.

“I cannot believe the shit I have to put up with.” He muttered as he finally straightened out the vehicle and drove back towards the city, doing his best to ignore your dying laughter.

Bucky was beaming at you as you settled down, leaning back against the seat as you wiped tears from your eyes. You smiled back at him and gave him a wink.

“Did I tell you how much I love that dress?” He said as he scooted closer to you, his eyes raking over your chest before sinking lower to gaze at your thighs.

“No.” You said teasingly, biting your lip at him and leaning towards him just a little bit.

“Cuz I fucking love that dress.” He growled at you as he wrapped his hands around your waist and drew you closer, nuzzling himself into your neck.

You gave a soft sigh as he ran his teeth over your throat, flinging one leg over his lap as he moved his vibranium hand from your waist to cup your ass. He moved his mouth up to the hinge of your jaw as he pressed you into him.

“Shit, Bucky.” You moaned as he pulled you onto his lap, his hands running over your thighs to tuck under your skirt as he sucked a bruise against your neck. “I swear to god, if you ruin this dress...”

“Oh, what the fuck guys?!” Sam said as he peeked at you through the rear view mirror. “I’m two feet away from you! It’s like you’re a couple of teenagers.”

“Sorry Sammy!” You whined before letting out a gasp as Bucky nuzzled himself between your tits at the same time he bucked his hips up into you, grinding his hardening cock against you.

“Oh, I do not get paid enough for this shit.” Sam groaned as he pulled the car into the parking lot of the hotel and jolted it to a halt. “I cannot believe I have to put up with you horny idiots.”

“Bye Sam!” You called after him as he slammed the door closed, waving a dismissive hand at you as he started to head back to his room. “Mmm, Bucky!”

He drew the straps of your dress down over your arms and wrapped his lips around one of your nipples as you arched your back into his face.

“Jesus Christ, I fucking missed you.” He groaned before moving his mouth up to yours, sucking your bottom lip between his teeth as he laid you down across the backseat.

“Yeah? What’d you miss baby?” You murmured against his lips, wrapping your legs around him and ripping his shirt over his head.

“Missed the way you smell.” He murmured against your neck as he nuzzled into your hair. “Missed these fucking perfect tits and how well they fit in my hands.” He whispered into your ear as he brought his hands up to palm your breasts, making you whine.

“Fuck, baby. You’re making me so wet.” You said breathlessly as a fresh rush of arousal leaked out of you, your fingers moving to work at undoing his fly.

“Good.” He growled against your collarbone as his he dipped one hand under your ass and pressed you into his hard on. “Cuz I missed that pussy the fucking most.”

“Shit.” You hissed as his vibranium hand ripped off your panties in one quick motion before his hands moved to shove your dress up around your waist. “Don’t you dare fucking rip this dress, Barnes!”

“I’m being careful.” He said with a chuckle before lining himself up. He teased his tip against your entrance before slowly sinking into you, grinning as he watched your eyes roll back in your skull as your lids fluttered, a moan escaping from your lips.

He drew himself out halfway, really taking his time as he felt himself drag against every inch of the warm channel between your legs, then slammed his hips forward with enough force that you had to brace your hand against the door to keep your head from cracking against it. You had to bite your lip to keep from screaming as you came immediately, your back arching up off the seat as your pussy spasmed and fluttered around his cock.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you miss me too?” Bucky said with a grin as he kept fucking into you, watching your chest heave as you started to come down from your first orgasm. He hooked one hand under your knee and drew it up to your waist, spreading you apart even further.

“Shit, yes!” You moaned as his dick thrust even deeper into you, hitting a new spot that had you seeing stars. “Missed this cock so fucking much.”

“Yeah? You miss feeling me in this tight little pussy?” He said as he felt you clench around him, your hips meeting his thrusts desperately.

“Fuck, Bucky! My pussy needs you so bad. Need your big cock inside me all the time.” You let out a gasp as he brought his vibranium hand between the two of you to strum at your clit. You wrapped your hand around his wrist to keep him in place as you tossed your head back. “Need to feel you stretch me and split me open, baby.”

“Jesus, keep talking.” He murmured as he collapsed on top of you, burying his face in your neck as he started moving his hips even faster. “Love hearing you use that filthy mouth of yours.”

“Yeah, babe? You wanna hear me talk about how much this pussy needs your big cock?” Your grinned when he let out a groan against your neck. “My pussy would get so fucking wet every time I thought about that dick. Nobody fucks me like you do. Oh god, right there!”

“Damn, honey. You’re squeezing me so good. You gonna cum again?”

You just nodded before a sob ripped through your chest, your knuckles turning white as your grip on his vibranium wrist tightening and a wave a pleasure crashed over you. Your legs squeezed his hips as you thumped your fist against the door, your torso rolling underneath Bucky as your cunt clamped down on him, making him twitch.

You felt his hips stuttering as you writhed underneath him, and with just a few thrusts he was filling you up, panting against your neck as he sank on top of you, pressing his full weight into you as he came down.

“Oh my god, happy fucking Valentine’s Day.” He moaned into your hair.

“Shit, I still need to give you your present, baby!!” You said with a grin as you ran your hands over his shoulders.

“I don’t need a present, sweetheart.” He said lazily before peppering soft kisses over your throat.

“Oh, I really think you’re gonna want to open this one.” You sighed, wriggling a little underneath him.

You grabbed his flesh hand and drew it between your legs slowly, dragging it over your sex until his fingers brushed against the jewel that was nestled between your ass cheeks. He sat up with a jolt when he realized what you were suggesting, making you laugh excitedly as he gave you a massive grin.

“Oh my god, Y/N, I’ve been waiting for this.” He said as he flipped you over, smacking your ass as you giggled at him. He spread your cheeks apart and groaned when he got a look at the pink jewel of the plug you had inserted earlier in the day.

He gripped the plug and drew it out of you slowly, biting his lower lip as he watched you pussy clench at the sensation. His breath came out in a hiss once it was free, your pretty hole gaping and fluttering at the loss as you moaned underneath him, pressing your ass back into his palms.

“Fuck, I’m gonna make you feel so good.”

He didn’t give you a chance to respond before he was yanking your hips back and up, tossing your thighs over his shoulders. You let out a shriek when he ran his tongue over your cunt in a heavy stripe before dragging the flat of the thick muscle over your asshole.

“Fuck, oh my god!” You screamed, trying to find something to brace yourself against as he ran the tip of his tongue around your rim, teasing you and making both of your holes throb with need.

He kept teasing you with his tongue for what felt like hours, alternating between heavy drags that ran over your entire sex and tiny kitten licks that were turning you into a begging, whimpering mess, a steady stream of slick leaking out of your swollen pussy.

“Gotta make sure you’re good and ready for me, gorgeous.” He murmured, giving you a momentary reprieve before he shoved his tongue inside your puckered hole.

The sound you made was otherworldly, halfway between a moan and a cry. He almost came just from the pure wantonness of it, and he felt his cock twitching against your chest as he started to tongue-fuck you. You pressed your cheek to the leather of the seat as he took you apart, mewling like an idiot as he stretched you open, his thick muscle probing you as deep as he could.

“Bucky...” you mumbled before another orgasm shook you, your cunt fluttering around nothing as a wave of bliss traveled up your spine from deep in your core and making you whine as drool leaked from the corner of your mouth.

He pulled his face away from you suddenly and unwrapped his arms from around your thighs. Your muscles were jelly as he lowered your hips, your eyelids drooping as you moaned at the loss of him. Once he finally had you laid back down, he took a second to gaze at you.

He loved how fucked out you got. Your limbs were splayed out at random angles as your back rose and fell with deep breaths, the curves of your breasts just peeking out from where they were pressed against the seat. He brushed your hair away from your face to see you grinning up at him, your cheeks streaked with tears and mascara and your lipstick smeared all over your mouth and chin as you looked at him with lust blown pupils.

“We’re still not done.” He said softly before wrapping his hand around your throat and yanking you up until your back was flush against his chest, making you gasp. He brought his other hand between you to wrap around his cock and dragged it through the slick that had soaked your ruined pussy before teasing his tip against the rim of your tightest hole. “I think you’re ready for me.”

He didn’t wait for you to answer before shoving his hips forward and spearing into you. Your body tried to jolt forward at the intrusion but his palm on your throat kept you in place, holding you still as he bottomed out.

“Jesus Christ, you feel amazing.” He muttered into your hair, his fingers vibrating over your throat as you let out a whine.

He pressed down against your jugular as he started to move his hips, dragging in and out of you at a deliciously slow pace that had you keening. You were losing yourself in the new sensation of having him fill your tightest channel, his thick cock stretching you more than you’d ever been before. Your head dropped back on his shoulder as he started to move faster, the slick leaking from your pussy making it easier for him to slide in and out of you.

“Fuck, I love your body. You treat me so good baby.” He murmured against the shell of your ear. “Wanna fill all your your pretty holes and pump you full of my cum. Wish I could be inside you all the time, pretty girl.”

Your pussy was fluttering around nothing as his soft praises filled your ears, and when he dropped his hand to the apex of your thighs you almost came immediately with a cry.

“You didn’t think I forgot about this pretty pussy, did you baby?” He whispered as his metal fingers spread you apart, teasing over your entrance as his flesh hand increased the pressure on your airway and his hips picked up the pace. “You want me to fuck you with my fingers while my cock’s in your ass, honey?”

“Fuck, Bucky, I want you to spank it.” You moaned as he continued to tease you, your brain starting to shut down as the mixture of sensations overwhelmed you.

He let out a feral growl against the curve of your neck before wrapping his lips around your earlobe. “Shit, you gonna cum if I spank it?” He hissed in your ear as he kept his fingers running over your sex.

“Yeah, I’m gonna fucking cum! Need you to spank my pussy, Bucky, please.”

His teeth nipped at the hollow behind your ear at the same time he smacked your cunt and you let out a shriek as your body vibrated against him. Your thighs quivered with strain as your pussy spasmed uncontrollably, your asshole strangling Bucky’s cock as you shook in your bliss, his hand around your neck the only thing keeping you upright.

“Fuuuuck.” He hissed against your neck as his hips chased his own release. “I wanna fuck all your holes while I cum, sweetheart, get ready.”

You only had a second before he was shoving three fingers into your pussy at the same time he put two fingers in your mouth, choking you as he shoved them down your throat before you were able to relax. He groaned when you started sucking on him, swirling your tongue around his digits while his vibranium fingers curled inside of you against that sweet spot that made your eyes roll back in your skull.

He felt you clench around him everywhere and let out a groan into your hair, his cock twitching inside you as you both neared your ends.

He ground his palm against your clit and you were finished, sobbing around his fingers as you squirted your release all over his hands, his thighs, and the seat in what was the biggest orgasm of your life. Your body tried to lift itself off the seat as you came, your vision whiting out as your muscles stopped working and Bucky let you collapse forward as he finished.

Another few thrusts of his stuttering hips and he let out a wordless roar as he came inside you, filling you completely with his spend until it was leaking out around his cock. He collapsed on top of you as his body rolled on a wave of pleasure, his breath hitching in his chest.

The two of you laid there tangled with each other for what felt like hours. You were so utterly spent that the passage of time no longer held any meaning, and you completely forgot where you were.

“Holy fuck.” Bucky muttered after a while, still unable to move anything except his face, which he nuzzled into your hair.

“Yeah.” You muttered into the seat cushions, your brain finally resetting.

“I mean, holy fuck.” He couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Yeah.” You said again, wiggling your toes look experimentally as your body started to come back down.

“I’ve never cum that hard before in my life.” He muttered as he drew his hands over your arms until they were pressing into your shoulders, moving your hair aside so he could pepper kisses all over your neck.

“Me either.” You whispered, turning your head over your shoulder so you could press your lips to his softly.

He pulled away once he was able, giving you a sloppy grin as he managed to sit up, pulling out of you gingerly and groaning at the sight of his cum leaking out of you. You twisted until you were able to sit up yourself, leaning back against the car door as you beamed back at him.

“Best fucking Valentine’s Day ever.” He muttered, drawing you onto his lap to kiss you deeply, and wondering if it would be too tacky to tell you he loved you after the first time you let him fuck your ass.

Tags!!!!!

@buckysnumberonegirl @slothspaghettiwrites @captain-asguard @starlightcrystalline @harrysthiccthighss @quxxnxfhxll @bonkywobble @chrisevanscardigan @chubbybuckydumpling @StanAllStarks @blackestpinkworld @fistmebuckyskywalker @wandering-spiritash @khadineberry @muzzyandbusy @slytheriin2002 @isysen @WanderingAlice00 @kaleeelizabeth58 @tlcwrites @angrybirdcr @unsaltedalmonds @amerikakapitanyy @lizette50 @daughterofthenight117 @obsessivereaderchick @drabblewithfrannybarnes @stargazingfangirl18 @jack-skellingtons-stuff @chrissquares @msmarvelwrites

[vincess-princess]

war?

Fandom: Motley Crue Characters, pairings: minor Nikki Sixx\Vince Neil, Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil, Tommy Lee, Mick Mars Rating: Teen so far, may change in the future Warnings: displays of extreme radiation poisoning, violence, unreality (so far) Summary: The boys go into a post-nuclear war-themed quest room, but is it really just a quest room?

idea by @dopefreshprincess, thank you so much for giving me inspiration <3

Chapter 1/?

Word count: 8059

“Wow!” Tommy looked around, eyes sparkling with excitement. “This is sick!”

Nikki did not reply, as did the others were gaping silently at the landscape extending in front of them. Escape room managers always tried to assure them of the reality of the experience, but the layout of all the escape rooms they visited before could be usually proved fake, sometimes by smallest of details. Not this one, though: the desolate, ravaged, post-nuclear war landscape looked uncannily real. They could even feel the hot breeze in their hair, bits of sand carried by it scraping their skin.

A desert sprawled in front of them, the ceiling that imitated the sky painted pale orange, no clouds, the lamp replacing the sun emitting so much heat Nikki could already feel droplets of sweat sliding down his back. Here and there bare, skeletal-looking trees stretched their branches up towards the sky – they barely reach the group’s waists, but trailed along the ground for meters. The only other plant around was spiky grey grass with frail stems. Nikki kneeled in front of one of them, trying to understand how it managed to grow through a completely dry, hardened soil. Wait, that’s a fake, he reminded himself. It was probably made of rubber and just stuck into the ground, it didn’t need no water.

Nikki reached out and tried to tear the plant out of the ground, but quickly drew his hand back with a hiss. The stem had little hair-thin thorns, sharper than needles. A few of them pierced through his skin and got stuck in his finger. Fuck, those sure as hell weren’t rubber.

“Huh?” Vince turned his head, distracted from fascinatedly observing the location by Nikki’s hiss. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Nikki said quickly, knowing how sharp-tongued Vince was. “Just got a splinter.”

“Are you gonna survive?” Vince inquired in a serious tone, but with a sly smile on his lips.

“I hope so,” Nikki muttered, trying to be angry at the mocking smile Vince shot him and failing miserably. “Careful with these things. They’re damn realistic.”

“Told you, these guys make the best escape rooms I’ve ever been in,” Mick said. He was the only one to remain relatively unimpressed, though his gaze lingered on the sand dunes a little bit longer than needed. “It’s gonna be a real survival quest, so buckle up.”

“Ain’t no quest too hard for us,” Tommy grinned. “Let’s set a world record on this one, lads.”

“Hell yeah!” Vince joined him, eyes sparkling. “The harder, the more fun!”

Mick rolled his eyes in exasperation. “That’s why you two absolutely can’t have nice things. You’re on a thin fucking ice, Sixx,” he added, side-eyeing Nikki.

“Hey, I haven’t even said anything!”

“I know you well enough.”

Nikki huffed with annoyance, but purely to keep face. He knew, of course, that Mick was right.

“Are we setting off at last?” Tommy was practically jumping with excitement. “Come on, come on, you snails!” he waved his hands in an inviting gesture. “Could you speed up a little?”

“We ain’t in a hurry,” Mick cut him down, but carefully stepped off the platform that took them to the location. The platform rose up swiftly and disappeared in the sky. Nikki traced it with his eyes. They would not be able to call it back, only in an extreme emergency, and the level of emergency was going to be decided by the quest room staff, who were supposed to watch the travelers constantly. In reality, though, when Nikki peeked into the security room half of the cameras weren’t working, and the only guard there was too busy playing his new Nintendo switch. So they couldn’t really count on staff; from now on they had to complete the quest to get out. Usually it added to the thrill, but now Nikki’s guts felt uneasy at the thought.

“Hm.” Mick stomped his foot on the ground. “The sand is very thin. We shouldn’t have any problem walking.”

“Then let’s walk!” Vince called, fidgeting in his place. “I wanna see the destroyed city replica! Is it gonna have real radiation there?”

“You ask me? Boy, I’ve never been here. I can only tell you what Chris told me, and he never mentioned it. Everything is possible. Do you even know where the city is?”

“It’s gonna show up eventually anyway, no?” Vince tilted his head. “The quest zone is not that big.”

“Why are you so sure?” Mick raised an eyebrow. Nikki could feel frustration radiating off him. He probably wanted to make every second of this adventure worthwhile instead of speedrunning it. “Besides, you ain’t getting to no goddamn city without supplies and gear.”

“Aren’t they in the backpacks?” Vince frowned, then pulled his backpack off his back. The easiness with which Vince tossed it around was suspicious, like it carried no weight whatsoever.

Nikki weighed his own backpack with his arm and a cold shiver ran down his spine. How could he not notice how light it was?

Meanwhile, Vince had already opened his bag, and his eyebrows arched in surprise.

“There ain’t nothing there!”

“The hell-“ Nikki pulled at the zip and tore the backpack open. His bad feeling proved right - it was empty.

“Mine too!” Tommy shoved his hand inside, feeling the material up as if trying to find secret pockets there. The thin, chip fabric of the backpack couldn’t hide any pockets within it even with the most intricate design.

“Same thing”, Mick pursed his lips, having checked his. “Shit’s getting interesting.”

“The hell we’re gonna do without supplies? We are in a desert!” Tommy exclaimed, throwing his backpack to the ground with frustration. “We paid for an empty backpack?!”

“What, the quest suddenly too tough for ya?” Mick snorted, but then his face softened at Tommy’s helpless expression. “Relax, kid. They ain’t gonna let their clients die. We’ll probably find supplies along the way.”

“They probably aren’t gonna just lie there in the middle of a desert, though,” Nikki said. He could understand Tommy’s disappointment – the quest from the average difficulty just switched to expert, and Tommy was never the one to enjoy meticulous resource-gathering instead of fighting and cracking codes. He, however, didn’t seem to share Tommy’s feelings – instead, he could feel anticipation building up in his chest. This was gonna be a real test of character, and he was gonna show everyone he could pass it. Especially Vince.

“No shit, Sixx,” Tommy murmured, still worked-up, but relaxing slightly. “Then where the hell are we supposed to find them? We don’t even have a map.”

“Hey, quit whining,” Vince joined in. He didn’t seem to be upset in a slightest, though his flippant smile disappeared from his lips. “Nikki is right. We gotta find a city or some settlements. They must be full of lost stuff. And we’ll get a shelter from the heat.” He wiped sweat off his forehead, caught Nikki’s gaze and smiled with corners of his mouth. When he turned away, Nikki smiled back.

“Well, I’ll look at y’all after a couple of hours walking through the desert,” Tommy muttered indignantly, but didn’t continue his rant. He went to a big rock a few feet away and plopped onto it with a grim expression. Mick, Nikki and Vince exchanged looks.

“Okay, so what are we doing now?” Vince asked in a low voice. “I’m already thirsty. Where’s that city of theirs? Mick?”

“Don’t ask me,” Mick waved his hand. “I haven’t been here before, remember? I just know that it exists. I don’t think it’s that far away, though. The zone can’t be bigger than a day or two of walking. The building didn’t look that big to me from the outside, at least.”

“These plants probably have some water in them, like cactuses,” Nikki nodded at the grey spiky grass. “You could try sucking on them-“

“No, thanks, I’m not that desperate,” Vince interrupted him, rolling his eyes. “So what, we’re looking for a city?”

“Well, you’d rather stay here?” Mick raised his eyebrow. “No? Good. I swear, a little bit more of this senseless talk and I’m leaving without you.” He turned his back to them and headed forward, not sparing them a single look.

“Why is he so pissy?” Vince muttered to Nikki.

“Angry because of the supplies?” Nikki shrugged in response and looked back at Tommy, who was still sitting on the rock with his back turned to the rest of the world. He seemed to hunch, looking at something on the ground. “Hey, T-bone! We’re leaving!”

“Uh-huh,” Tommy murmured, not paying them any attention. What, was he refusing to come with them?

Well, that was getting ridiculous.

“T-bone!” Nikki approached him and not so gently slapped him on the shoulder. “Are you coming?”

“Yeah,” Tommy looked up at Nikki distractedly. “Nik, do you think this map is supposed to have enemies?”

“I’m gonna be disappointed if it doesn’t” Nikki grinned. “But probably not in the middle of a desert. Maybe in the city. But we’d be supposed to find weapons for them, wouldn’t we?”

“Yeah,” Tommy nodded and rose up from his rock. “Where we going?”

“Looking for the city,” Vince said from behind Nikki’s back. “We’re pretty sure it’s somewhere close.”

“You’re sure,” Tommy made a dissatisfied face. “Okay, if you’re so sure, let’s go there.”

“You’re such a pain in the ass today,” Vince told him, but with no malice in his voice. “How’d you survive in a real apocalypse? Y’know, when there are no supplies lying around, prepared specifically for you?”

“Well, there ain’t gonna be no apocalypse in my lifetime,” Tommy shook his head, picked up his backpack and headed after Mick, who was already a tiny silhouette against the orange skies and seemingly had no intention of waiting for them.

The thin layer of sand was easy to walk on, and their heavy boots prevented them from getting sand between their toes. What they weren’t preventing them from, however, was the heat. The lamp imitated the sun a little bit too well; as it traveled across the sky (Nikki wondered if it was fixed on a rope or if some mechanism did the moving), it became hotter and hotter. Soon their jackets were off, and their t-shirts were soaking wet.

“How long has it been? Two hours?” Vince asked, fanning himself with his stupid cowboy hat that Nikki hadn’t managed to talk him out of wearing. “I swear, if we don’t find water soon, I’m gonna drink my own piss.”

“I can offer you another, much more nutritious fluid-“ Nikki was interrupted by a backpack flung at his face and barely managed to duck in time. “Hey, you could’ve just said no!”

“I’d rather die of thirst,” Vince promised gloomily, but before he turned away, Nikki caught a glimpse of a smile on his face. He sped up to catch up with Mick. Nikki didn’t want to march forward alone, so he slowed his pace, waiting for Tommy.

“What kind of enemies do you think we’re gonna encounter?” Tommy asked him, somewhat anxious.

“No clue, dude,” Nikki said carelessly. “Some mutated rabid rats? Mad scavengers? I hope it’ll be mad scavengers. The robots we were shooting last time were too predictable.”

“And the weapons?” Tommy didn’t seem relieved by his words in a slightest.

“I hope paintball guns – so you can see when you hit someone, y’know. Laser guns are too glitchy.”

“You think it will be just actors?” Tommy shot him a glance. Nikki frowned. Why was he so worked-up anyway? They were on a quest, they were supposed to have fun, not worry.

“Of course. Do you think they’re gonna release actual animals on us or something? That’s just a game.” Nikki shook his head at Tommy when he opened his mouth again, no longer willing to answer weird questions. “Come on, let’s catch up with those two. Or they’ll find loot earlier than us and will take all the alcohol.” He grabbed Tommy’s arm and pulled him forward. Tommy followed, like a puppet obeying every twitch of its master’s fingers.

Half an hour later, literally nothing changed. The sky was the same sickish orange; the sand was crumpling under their boots with barely audible crunching sounds. The tension was hanging in the air like fog, enveloping their little group whole, getting more and more thick. The frown on Mick’s face deepened with every their step.

“I swear, if I knew how fucking big it would be…” he began.

“Hey, hey, no need to apologize,” Nikki interrupted him.

“I wasn’t,” Mick flashed him an irritated glance. “I wanted to say I’d tell Chris to stuff his recommendations up his ass. I fucking knew he’s a survival games junkie. He gets a kick out of harsh conditions. Unlike me.” He stopped so suddenly Tommy almost collided with him. “That’s it. We’re making camp here.”

“Not that we have anything to make that camp with,” Tommy murmured, but wilted under Mick’s stern gaze. “You can sit on your backpack,” he suggested hastily. “Or on that rock over there-“

“Um, guys,” Vince, who wandered away during their conversation, spoke up from where he was bending over to the rock Tommy offered Mick to sit on, “you need to see this.”

“What’s that?” Mick shuffled towards him. When his gaze landed on the rock, his eyebrows flew up. “Holy shit.”

Mick and Vince’s troubled faces evoked a bad feeling in Nikki’s gut. The feeling of wrongness that hatched in his stomach ever since they discovered the backpacks were empty raised its head again, making him shiver. He almost didn’t step forward to look at the rock, almost turned away. Almost.

Run, the rock said in uneven, shaky handwriting, probably done with chalk, probably in a hurry. Run.

“What the hell?.. Nikki raised his head to meet Mick’s gaze, knowing he had no explanation for this, but still nurturing a stupid little spring of hope that the smartest of them, the oldest of them would be able to explain it. But Mick’s face showed nothing but bewilderment. And… what was that?

Tommy approached them quietly from the back, read the inscription and inhaled sharply through his teeth with a hiss. He said nothing. It was weird, but not weirder than this entire fucking thing.

“It’s a joke, right?” Vince said in a shaky voice. “It must be a joke.”

“I’d love to tear off the arms of whoever wrote this and shove them up their ass,” Mick muttered disgruntledly. “Not funny at all.”

Nikki just nodded, kneeling in front of the rock. He rubbed the word with his thumb, wanting to see if it could be erased easily. His thumb got a little dirty, but the writing remained intact. Nikki licked his finger and tried again, to no avail.

“That’s not chalk,” Mick said, frowning. “It would erase. Why the hell didn’t Chris tell me about this shit? Maybe he did it?..”

“I don’t think so,” Tommy said suddenly. “It looks old.”

“And the sky is orange here, do you think it really is in real life?” Mick cut him off angrily. Tommy bit his lip and stared at the ground, fidgeting with something in his hands. “It’s probably just a prank by another visitor. Well, good job, asshole, now you’ve got everyone worked up.” He turned his back to the rock. “Dunno about you, but I’m not gonna stand around this goddamn rock all day. We still need to get supplies somehow.”

“Yeah, right,” Nikki nodded, getting up and lining up with Mick. “Let’s go, guys. It’s getting late.”

“I’ve heard deserts get super cold at night,” Vince remarked. “We better find a shelter by the time the sun sets.”

They set off again, but the decisiveness that floated in the air when they just entered faded. Instead the tension and frustration returned, and there was a new one now - fear. The latter was completely illogical, Nikki tried to persuade himself, but all in vain – the icky cold lump in his stomach remained, gaining more thorns the more Nikki thought about the writing on the rock. Fuck, he definitely needed a drink. He could only hope the supplies would have alcohol – they usually did, allegedly for medical purposes.

Nikki didn’t know how much time passed. Maybe half an hour, maybe more. It was hard to determine with the sky the same orange color, the “sun” invisible behind thick clouds. Eventually, though, it began to get colder – Nikki only realized that when he caught Tommy shiver. Already sulky, Tommy now looked like a ruffled chick that just fell out of the nest.

Nikki was already thinking about suggesting calling it a night and making camp where they were when Vince broke the gloomy silence.

“There’s something ahead.”

Nikki squinted, staring forward. Against the sky, now reddish as the “sun” was setting, was a group of silhouettes.

“Those might be just mountains,” Mick said, barely trying to cover the exhaustion in his voice.

“They’re too upright for mountains,” Vince shook his head. “The sides are too flat. And anyway, that would be better than spending the night in the middle of a fucking desert. My throat is dry as a fucking sandpaper.”

“Whatever,” Mick threw his hands up. “We ain’t got nowhere else to go anyway.”

They headed towards the shadows in the distance. Although none of them was ready to say it, reaching something after an entire day full of sand already felt like a small victory. They might even find a cave to sleep in there, Nikki mused. Now even a rough rocky mountain soil was better than getting sand in their asses.

But as they drew closer it became clear those were no mountains. Though destroyed and decayed, those were buildings. Soon they reached a road – battered and covered in sand, but a road nevertheless.

“Hell yeah!” Vince smiled triumphantly. “Told ya we’re getting there!”

“Okay, okay, don’t forget to mark this date down. It’s not often that you turn out to be right,” Mick grumbled, but relief in his voice was obvious. Vince rolled his eyes, but did not say anything in return – maybe didn’t want to spoil the mood. Even Tommy cheered up. They sped up to reach the city before the night set.

It turned out to be farther than they imagined, and when they did reach the city, it was already night. Just as Vince said, the heat was soon replaced by freezing wind, so they weren’t feeling picky and headed to the first building on their way. The left half of it lay in ruins, concrete mixed with metal, crooked metal rods sticking out of the walls that were still standing. Nikki touched the concrete – it was cold and coated his fingertips in dust. The right half, though, remained relatively unharmed, apart from shattered windows. It even still had a door intact.

“With our luck, I won’t be surprised if the door is locked,” Mick muttered as he touched the door handle with uncertainty. It easily yielded under his touch. He carefully pushed the door.

A musty smell enveloped them, the dust in the air making them cough. It was dark inside, and the windows didn’t provide enough light to make out details – the night was moonless, and there were no stars in the sky, - but this just made the image more uncannily real. How did they make the dust covering the floor look like it hasn’t been touched in ages while the building probably had visitors the very night before them?

“I can’t fucking see anything,” Mick grumbled somewhere ahead. “Should’ve brought headlights.”

“There must be at least some loot in here,” Nikki tried to cheer him up. “Maybe there’ll be flashlights.”

“There might just as likely not be any,” Mick sighed. “But at least we won’t have to sleep in a freezing wind. Though it’s not much warmer here either, those goddamn windows-“

A loud crash followed by a yelp interrupted him. Mick and Nikki shot each other alerted looks and sprinted towards the source of the sound. In the corner of the room, there was a hole covered by a thin sheet of metal – apparently not strong enough to hold a man’s- Vince burst into the room, waving around a metal rod in his hand that he probably pulled out of a broken wall, - not strong enough to hold Tommy’s body weight. Nikki plopped onto his knees and peered into the hole. Vince grabbed him by the collar, to make sure he wouldn’t fall. It was so dark down there they couldn’t even see the floor.

“Drummer, you alright?” Mick called out anxiously, staring into the darkness of the hole intensely. A second of silence felt like an hour, Nikki’s heart skipped a bit. Then Tommy spoke from down there.

“Yeah… I think.” They listened intently to the rustling and creaking from down there as Tommy tried to get on his own two feet. “I’m al- oh, shit!” something heavy fell onto a metal sheet with a loud clatter.

“T-bone?” Nikki called again, but received no response. A little lump of anxiety in his stomach reminded of itself again as it began to unravel. “Tom, fucking say something!”

“Fuck,” Tommy finally hissed. “My knee hurts as shit.”

“Broken?” Vince tried to catch a look of Tommy, but the view of the hole was obstructed by two dark messy heads.

A few pained breaths later, Tommy replied. “No, I don’t… think so.”

“Can you stand?” Nikki jumped up, looking around the room for a ladder, or a rope, or, at least, a wooden bar to put into the hole. But the room was barren, apart from a few chairs looking like they would turn to dust the moment they’re touched, ruined bookshelves with burned black books scattered across the floor, and a broken computer standing on the only remaining desk.

The desk had three drawers and a cabinet. The cabinet was locked. The drawers were mostly empty, one even had a couple of dead cockroaches in it. Nikki almost overlooked a little cylindrical object in the corner of the lowest drawer. He carefully touched it. The surface felt like cheap plastic.

Upon closer inspection it turned out to be a flashlight. Nikki fidgeted with it for a bit and found a button, which he carefully pressed. The first couple of seconds it wasn’t lighting up Nikki’s heart skipped a bit; but then a weak ray of light shone through the dirty glass.

“Guys! Look what I found!” He dashed back to the hole, where Mick and Vince still stood, quietly discussing something. Tommy’s voice from down there joined them occasionally.

“A flashlight?” Mick raised an eyebrow. “And that’s all?”

“Well, do you want a stage projector instead?” Nikki snapped back. “This is better than nothing. Tommy, can you walk?”

“Not sure,” came a muffled reply. “Gimme a sec… Ouch.”

“So no?” Nikki frowned.

“Well, I can stand, but it hurtsб” Tommy reported. “Not sure about walking. I can’t see a thing, and there’s so much debris here, I don’t wanna break a leg on one of them.”

“Well, then I’ve got you covered, pal.” Nikki showed him a flashlight. Tommy squeezed his eyes, trying to make out what Nikki was holding. Then he beamed.

“Man, that’s great! It’s definitely a part of the quest, so we’re on the right track! Give it to me, I’ll try to look around.” He caught the flashlight thrown by Nikki. “Eh, man, they could have put better props here. This one looks like it’s from a gas station.”

“What, you think they would give you top-tier gear here?” Mick raised his eyebrow. “Be thankful for what you have.”

“Hey, don’t be so bitter,” Vince stood up for Tommy. “For all the money they get, they could have bought better props as well. This thing looks like it may kick the bucket at any moment.”

Nikki decided not to listen to their banter anymore. “Look for a ladder, or at least a rope,” he told Tommy and moved away from the hole to walk one more time around the room in case he missed something. He tried to sit in a chair, but it cracked so threateningly under him he decided not to tempt fate. Then he turned to bookshelves. Books were often used to hide clues; maybe that was the case here as well?

However, most books were burnt and battered. Nikki opened one, but the pages were so dark the text was unintelligible. Some of them were glued together, others torn. It was just another fucking prop, Nikki realized, flinging the book into the wall in frustration. Just a waste of a good book-

The book crashed into the wall and fell onto the floor, pages flying around. One of them was significantly lighter than the others. It landed right next to Nikki’s feet, as though inviting him to pick it up.

Well, Nikki rolled his eyes, for sure that wasn’t supposed to be a clue or something like that, not at all.

He picked up the piece of paper and turned it upside down. On it a few numbers were written, in ornate, neat handwriting. Must be a password or something. But for what?

Nikki turned around, and his gaze fell on a seemingly dysfunctional computer. Why did he assume it was dysfunctional first hand?

Nikki carefully touched the keyboard sprinkled with dust. They really did a good job making everything look old and abandoned. He pressed the space key, then ran his fingers along the keys, pressing many at once – no reaction. Then he reached out for the turn-on button. Also no reaction.

Oh well, it wasn’t going to be as easy as this, after all. Nikki stuffed the paper piece in his pocket and returned to the hole, where Mick and Vince conversed lazily. Judging by the occasional streaks of light landing on the walls, Tommy was exploring down there.

“Oh, hey, guys, it’s pretty nice in here!” he shouted, attracting their attention. “Is that a fucking potbelly stove?”

“What? Are you sure?”

“Well, I’ve only seen those in movies but it does look like one. And what are those…” his voice quietened for a few seconds as he was fussing with something. “Guys! There are sleeping bags here!”

“Really?!” Vince would have dove into the hole headfirst if not for Mick who grabbed him unceremoniously by the collar. “Hey, what the fuck, man?!”

“Who the fuck is gonna drag you two up then? My back won’t let me, you want Sixx alone to do it?”

“Well, if there are sleeping bags, then there must also be a ladder or something,” Vince muttered, ashamed. “Isn’t it clear that’s a checkpoint?”

“No, it isn’t,” Mick cut him off. “Not until we find a lad-“

“I found rope!” Tommy’s jubilant voice rang through the building. Mick, stopped mid-sentence, pursed his lips.

“Hey, Mick, do you think I should start a notebook to mark down when I’m being right?” Vince patted his shoulder, grinning. Mick shook his hand off.

“Bring it here,” Nikki said, looking around for something to fix the rope on. The table seemed sturdy and heavy enough, but they all were grown adult men as well. Nikki headed over to the table and tried to move it, to no avail. Maybe it was screwed to the floor for this very purpose.

“Hey, we can fix the rope to the table over here, if it’s long enough,” he suggested.

“Might work.” Mick glanced towards it and nodded. “Though I’m not a keen rope-climber…”

“Me neither,” Nikki tried to reassure him. “I always failed at it on the P.E. lessons”

“You had rope climbing on your P.E. lessons?” Mick raised an eyebrow. “Wow. Schools sure have geared up since I graduated.”

“We also jumped a bench,” Nikki recalled, “and did pull-ups on a bar. Oh how I hated it.”

“Y’all are spoiled,” Mick murmured. “All we had were a ball and the teacher’s whistle. A volleyball net, if the school was fancy.”

“Hate to interrupt your sweet chatter.” Vince suddenly appeared behind their backs. He already held the end of the rope in his hands. “But if I don’t get into a sleeping bag within five minutes, I’m gonna riot. You checked the table?”

“Yep, seems trustworthy.”

“Mick, your time to shine,” Vince offered him, the only one among them knowing how to tie a reliable knot, the end of the rope.

“You forgot a magic word,” Mick grumbled but kneeled in front of the table. “There are rope traces on this table leg already, so it must be the right way.”

“Are all clients supposed to hurt themselves falling through the floor?” Nikki wondered, kneeling beside Mick. He loved watching his rope work, though never managed to do it quite like him.

“You wanted adventure, you got it,” Mick replied, his fingers quickly working.

“Well, yeah, we all know it’s just an imitation,” Nikki shrugged. “A pretty good one, but still.”

“There wouldn’t be one if all those people didn’t actually want it to come true, even in part.”

“Well, I don’t,” Nikki resented. “I don’t want the world to fucking burn to the ground. And all those people don’t, too. They just want to… I dunno. Feel like movie protagonists for a while?”

“Movie protagonists always have a purpose. They don’t go out into the wild just because they love the wild that much.” Mick finished the knot and got up, cutting their conversation short. Nikki tried to follow him but hit his head on the tabletop.

“Ouch!” he fell back on his knees, checking his head for damage. Just as he reached for the sore spot on his head, he noticed a wire that was running along the wall of the cabinet and sliding into a hole on the floor. The wire was connected to the computer. Oh, so they need to fix it in the basement for the computer to start working, Nikki realized. That the computer was supposed to be turned on he had no doubt, or there wouldn’t be a password in the book.

“You alright?” Vince asked when Nikki crawled from under the table and got up. “We don’t need any more injuries here.”

“I’ll survive,” Nikki promised. They headed towards the hole where Tommy already stood with the flashlight, waiting for them.

“Wait a sec, I’m gonna move all those debris away,” he hurried to clear the floor under the hole, stumbled on something and hissed in pain. “Shit! I hope there’s a first aid kit somewhere here.”

“If you still can walk, then it’s not that serious,” Mick told him. “Not a fracture or a broken bone at least. Gonna heal in a couple of days.”

“Yeah, but where are we gonna get these couple of days?” Nikki murmured so that Tommy wouldn’t hear him. “Our time here is limited. We can’t just waste it waiting for him to recover.”

“What are you gonna do then, send him back?” Mick snapped. “Let him hobble through the desert alone, with no supplies?”

“Well, no, of course not,” Nikki mumbled ashamedly. “But we could… I dunno… investigate the location while he heals his ankle?”

“Yeah, and he totally won’t jump after us on one leg the whole way,” Mick said sarcastically, diminishing Nikki to a puddle on the floor. He didn’t bring the topic up anymore.

Vince was the first to descend, carefully sliding down the rope. Tommy, beaming, waved the flashlight around, demonstrating the room so proudly he as though had decorated it himself. A smile slowly widened on Vince’s face.

“Come look!” he called them. Nikki climbed down the rope so fast he burned the skin on his palms. Mick wasn’t that eager to follow; quite on the contrary, he stood up there looking around for a few seconds and then hurried out of sight.

“The hell he went to-“ Tommy began, but Mick was already back, dragging something clanging with him.

“We are gonna attract the entire local wildlife with the light and the voices,” he explained, breathing heavily. “Better cover up.”

“Oh, Mick, c’mon!” Vince laughed. “Who are we gonna attract? Actors are all at home sleeping at this time.”

“Some of them work night shifts,” Mick reminded as he carefully lowered his legs into the hole and wrapped them around the rope. He grasped the metal sheet he brought and drew it over the hole, leaving only a small crack. “And some of them aren’t people,” he finished once his feet were firmly on the ground.

Vince huffed, but did not continue the argument. And Nikki was thankful to him for that.

The shelter they accidentally discovered was small but neat. It was a little bit warmer here, without the wind, but the walls still couldn’t really protect from the cold. They were probably drywall, but they did look appropriate for the location - like old, weathered-down concrete. Even the smell was authentic, dusty and heavy. Four sleeping bags were laid out around the potbelly stove in the center, looking old but functioning. A pipe ran down one of the walls with a very convenient tap in the middle. Every now and then a drop of water fell down from the tap onto a small wet spot on the floor. In the corner there were some boxes piled up on top of one another, and in the other – wooden crate. The entire location was poorly lit by groups of green, toxic-looking mushrooms in the corners and on the ceiling. They looked so real Nikki had to grab and feel the material of one to confirm it was rubber.

“Were you in a real apocalyptic setting, this one could have burned off the skin on your fingers,” Mick muttered.

“Glad we aren’t,” Nikki said, words coming out a little bit strained. “Though there probably wouldn’t really be mushrooms glowing with radiation. Is that even possible? Won’t it just kill them, like any other living thing?”

“Nature always finds a way,” Mick said, kneeling on front of the potbelly stove and peeping inside. “Jeez, this one belongs in a museum. And we need coal or wood to light it up.”

“There were carton boxes in the corner,” Nikki nodded towards them. “What about a lighter? I hope we won’t have to use a flint or something.”

“I have one,” Tommy said from the corner where he examined the crate, fingers carefully running over the lid. He “I had to take out my sigs, but they didn’t notice the lighter.”

“That’s technically cheating,” Vince said lazily, already sprawled on a sleeping bag. “But practically you just saved us a lot of trouble.” He sat up, his shoulders twitching from cold. “Damn, it’s freezing here. Gimme the lighter.”

Tommy threw it over his shoulder in Vince’s direction, missing by a few feet at least. Vince caught it nevertheless – probably the only time his baseball school team skills were put to use.

“Don’t burn the entire basement,” Mick advised half-heartedly as Vince trudged to the boxes in the corner. Vince grumbled something unintelligible in reply.

The cracking sound from the other corner distracted them.

“Guys, I think I found supplies,” Tommy said, holding up the lid of the crate that he had just opened.

“What’s there?” Mick and Nikki rushed towards him. Vince looked at the box he held in his hands for a second, dropped it and joined them. “Any food?!”

“Well, those feel grainy,” Tommy brought a plain fabric bag to his eyes, dug his fingers into its sides. “Cereals, probably.” He put it back, picked up some other package and shook it. “Those sound like crackers.”

“Three cans with corn,” Nikki reported, rummaging in the other end of the crate. “And, uh, ramen,” He dug out a familiar-looking box. At least they removed the plastic wrapping that they have on in stores.

“Any fruit, veggies?” Vince peered over their shoulders. “No? Well, we aren’t gonna last long on such a diet.”

“We aren’t gonna stay here long either,” Nikki reminded him. “What did you expect from a post-apocalyptic setting, an all-you-can-eat buffet?”

“Nothing, man,” Vince retreated, “I’m just saying, we’ve seen plants and trees on our way here, some edible plants could as well survive too- uh, nevermind.”

“That’s all good and stuff, but where are we supposed to put them? I haven’t seen any plates here.”

“Over there, in the corner,” Mick headed to the farthest, most poorly lit corner of the basement, which Nikki overlooked at first, and with a clang pulled out a pot, rather old and battered, but seemingly without any holes. “But these need to be washed first, or we all will get poisoned.”

“I’m busy with the fire,” Vince immediately said, grabbing the box he dropped and holding it in front of himself in a protective gesture. “Tommy can do it. Or Nikki.”

“Guys, there’s something else beneath the food,” Tommy said, pulling out a yellow box with a black wire. “Some device?”

“Oh!” Mick’s face lit up for the first time during the day. “That’s a Geiger counter, if I’m not mistaken. Since we’re in a post-nuclear war wasteland, it’s gonna prove useful.”

“Does it work from the batteries?” Tommy turned it over in search of a switch. “Because there might be problems with electricity here.”

“It’s supposed to,” Mick took the box and examined it as well. “The limit for this one is 5000 mSv – uh, what are mSv? – and I have literally zero idea how dangerous it actually is. Did anyone read up on the theory before the quest?”

He received only confused mumbling in response.

“Do you think anyone else who completed this quest did?” Vince finally said defensively. “I’m pretty sure they weren’t experts on radiation either.”

“That does not excuse our ignorance,” Mick sighed. “Well, 5000 is a big number so if there is this much radiation, it’s not safe.”

They fell silent for a second, only Tommy kept rummaging in the crate. Finally, he fished out something with a victorious yell.

“Knew it would be here!” He waved a piece of paper in front of their faces. “Vince is right – they wouldn’t have given us this thing without explaining how it works. There are some numbers here – I guess radiation levels, but I can’t see them, it’s too dark.”

“Gimme,” Mick immediately snatched it from Tommy’s hands, receiving an indignant yelp in response. “Shit, I can’t see a thing either. Vince, what’s up with the fire?”

“This damn carton doesn’t want to burn,” Vince said from where he was kneeling in front of the potbelly stove. “It just chars.”

“Lord, why do I have to do everything myself,” Mick raised his eyes to the moldy ceiling. “Hold this and don’t let go for dear life,” he handed Vince the piece of paper. Vince pressed it to his chest in an overplayed protective gesture. A few curses later the carton finally caught fire from the lighter, and the flame started strengthening slowly but surely.

“Now, gimme.” Mick grabbed the paper and brought it closer to the fire, maybe a little bit too dangerously close. “Yeah, drummer was right. So, 2 mSv is what a person receives daily, 100 is what radiation workers receive in 5 years, 1000 causes cancer in 5% of people exposed… doesn’t sound too dangerous to me. 5000, though… kills a half.”

“Shit,” Vince commented laconically. “So anything above 1000 is a big no-no, we get it.”

“Pretty much,” Mick nodded. “How much is here, I wonder. Turn this thing on.”

Nikki reached out and pulled the switch. The arrow wandered a little over the bar, but never ventured into even remotely dangerous areas and finally stopped on 12 mSv.

“Well, that’s a little more than usual but still not much,” Mick concluded. “But we should be careful when advancing into the city. It’s supposed to have suffered a nuclear blast, and radiation will go up the closer we are to the center.”

“You think it will ever reach the limit on the counter?” Tommy asked, anxious.

“Don’t think so.” Mick waved his hand in the air. “But we gotta check it frequently, just in case.”

Nikki, who was silent all this time, finally spoke.

“I mean, it’s nice that y’all are enjoying yourself so much, but can we at least stop pretending that there’s actually radiation? This thing just shows what it’s programmed to show. There ain’t no radiation neither here nor in the city center. Where the hell would they get it from?”

Mick raised his eyes, examining Nikki with his piercing gaze. He wasn’t angry or disappointed – thoughtful, rather.

“Well,” he finally said a few seconds later, “there are two things to this. First – when in Rome, do as Romans do. Second – how do you know the radiation isn’t real?”

“How?” Nikki frowned, surprised by Mick’s answer. Mick’s, who was the most sensible of them all and the least prone to stupid illusions. “Because this ain’t real post-apocalyptic wasteland, and these walls are built out of drywall, the sun is a lamp and the mushrooms are made of rubber!”

“And what is radiation made of?” Mick asked. “No, really, how can you fake radiation well enough to deceive a Geiger counter? Because the counter is very real, we’ve been given those at school”.

“Well, then it’s programmed to show what it shows,” Nikki retorted. “And we can’t actually prove it’s not lying.”

“Nor that it is,” Mick replied. “Of course, this is all just a big game of pretend, Sixx. But it doesn’t matter that everything here is fake. We’re gonna take the counter with us anyway; even if it’s lying, its data will show us what places to avoid, since it’s been programmed, as you’re claiming. It was left here for a reason.”

“I guess,” Nikki sighed, turning away. He didn’t know how to explain that their interest and excitement was a little bit too fake in its genuineness. He knew how quests worked. He has completed them many times. A couple of riddles to solve, a couple of actors dressed as zombies to “kill” with laser guns. The ultimate satisfaction upon reaching the end – and after that, all-encompassing boredom again, again, until the next dose of adrenaline.

And this one is going to be just the same. Should be just the same.

Oh god, please let it be just the same.

“Anyway,” Mick broke the silence first. “I’m putting this thing in my backpack, but we’re gonna take it out regularly to check radiation level. Now, I don’t know what about you, but I’m hungry as hell, and the dishes question still stands.”

“Nikki should do it,” Vince said immediately, receiving an “et tu, Brute” look from Nikki. “Since he’s such a wet blanket.”

“Yep,” Tommy quickly counted the odds and sided with the right people. Nikki shot him a death glance. Tommy smiled sheepishly, but didn’t take his words back.

“Well, then go on, Sixx,” Mick handed him the pot, and Nikki wanted to put it on his friend’s head. With a loud bang. “We’ll sort out the rest of equipment while you’re busy.”

The water from the tap was cold, but seemed clean and only smelt a little of metal. Nikki rinsed the pot and the plates he was handed, not quite thoroughly, but the others were too hungry to notice. Meanwhile, Vince and Tommy dug out of the corner three empty plastic bottles, tastefully rumpled to look old, but nevertheless functional. As hard as they tried, they couldn’t find any cutlery, though. Apparently, desert rogues in a post-apocalyptic landscape were too down-to-earth to eat with spoons.

Soon they were sitting around the potbelly stove watching the water heat up terribly, terribly slowly. Nikki never paid attention to how much time it takes to heat a liter or two of water. This fire was no match to his electric kettle back in his apartment. But that was probably why kettles were made anyway.

“So, what do we have?” Mick spoke again. He didn’t seem to like the role of a leader much, but this quest was like no other – without him, the other three would have probably given up by now. “Three packages of cereals, four packs of crackers, three cans of corn which we’re gonna eat right now, a pack of noodles, the Geiger counter, a flashlight, sleeping bags, a pot and four plates and three water bottles.” He sighed. “And not a single medical item. That’s not much. Drummer, how’s your leg?”

“Hurts,” Tommy said honestly. “But like, more in a dull, pulsating way. I can bear it. I can walk even. I won’t make you wait, I promise.” He was nervous, his eyes darting between the other three, checking their reactions. “Just don’t send me back. This quest is so much fun, I don’t wanna miss it.”

“Okay, okay,” Mick raised his hand in a calming gesture. “Nobody was going to leave you behind anyway, right?” His eyes stopped on Nikki, and a frown was sent his way. Nikki huffed and turned away.

“Thanks, guys,” Tommy said with visible relief. “I took one for the team to find this amazing place, after all.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a hero,” Nikki reassured him distractedly. He was getting cold: he could feel how icy the floor was even through the fabric of the sleeping bag. “D’ya wanna light up the fire a little bit? It’s freezing here.”

“You can try, but I tell you, that won’t be enough,” Mick shook his head. He was sitting hugging himself on the sleeping bag, his feet propped up right against the stove for more warmth. “These boxes don’t burn hot enough. We’re gonna need coal or lighter fluid. Which we don’t have.”

“Sucks,” Vince murmured, for the first time in a while. That was strange – he was usually the most talkative one of the bunch, challenged only by Tommy.

Nikki leaned in to him, examining his face anxiously. Vince looked at him tiredly from under his eyelashes, but didn’t move back. His lips were of sickly bluish color, his fingers grappling the folds of his jacket, fruitlessly squeezing them together, unnaturally white.

“Are you alright?” Nikki whispered to him. Vince jerked his head towards him, a sarcastic retort ready to drop from his lips – but then, a tired sigh replaced it.

“Is that really so noticeable?” he whispered back. “I mean, you guys don’t seem to be bothered by it much. But Nikki, man, I’m gonna turn into an ice statue soon. I can’t feel my toes already.”

“Shit,” Nikki ran his gaze across the room again, hoping to find something, anything that could help. But, apart from the trash in the corners, discovered nothing new.

“Get in the sleeping bag,” he said finally. “At least put your feet in it. And take my jacket. Corn’s gonna be done soon, a nice hot meal will warm you up. And we’ll put together some kind of tea after that-”

“Hey, chill, man,” Vince smiled slightly. Nikki felt the tips of his ears warm up. “I ain’t taking your jacket, I don’t want you to freeze to death. Just… I dunno. My hands are so cold…”

“Here,” Nikki moved so close to him their knees bumped together, gently wrapped his hands over Vince’s wrists and guided his hands under his jacket, where his body warmth collected. They felt like ice chunks even through his t-shirt. Vince sighed with pleasure and closed his eyes. Nikki caught Tommy chuckle quietly and made a scary face towards him. Tommy raised his hands in pretended surrender.

Everything was okay. Everything was going to be okay.

The corn was consumed in tired silence. Thanks to the potbelly stove, the room did warm up slightly after a while, and a meal after a long day of walking made them all drowsy. By the rules, they should have left a guard up, but none of them dared to suggest it, afraid of being the one picked to watch. And what could get them in a basement of a destroyed building in the middle of a desert?

A lot, it turned out later, but that night they slept soundly, still happy in their ignorance.

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

Feeling Special

Tamaki Amajiki x Reader

Warning: fluff, pg-13

A/N: commission for @marvels-biggest-ho​

Summary:  You show up to help Mirio terrorize Class -1A during training and your long time crush, Tamaki, is there.

The first year training gym had an air of playful tension as you walked in. Mr. Aizawa thought it would do the younger students some good to have an older student drop in and show them the ropes but you had a feeling your quirk was the real reason the teacher wanted you around. Your quirk was Acquire ; the ability to gain another person's quirk for a limited amount of time, depending on how long you touched them. They would still have their quirk but you were able to use it as well - it worked out most times but you usually avoided touching someone with a more complicated quirk. There was one time you accidentally touched Mirio Togata and ended up falling a floor below your dorm. Luckily, you only came into contact with him for a few seconds. Usually you wore gloves but as you walked into the large training gymnasium, your hands were bare.

“Oh, look who's here!” 

The greeting came from Nejire Hado and you smiled, noticing the two other members of the  Big Three. The trio stood in front of class 1-A. You eyed the slouched over Tamaki Amajiki; he glanced at you for a split second before turning away nervously. Smiling, you nodded to Mirio. 

“Mr. Awzia sent for me,” you explained, turning to the group. “He said something about showing you kids a good time.”

“That’s what I was about to do,” Mirio gleamed, hands folded against his chest. “I challenged them all to a fight.”

You laughed, sneaking a peek at Tamaki. “Amajiki, will you be joining the fight?”

The young man seized up, shaking his head no without looking at you. “Fair enough, we don’t want to rough the kids up too much. We all know you’re the strongest here.”

Mirio grinned at you, giving a little wink as he focused on the first years. You half listened as he went on about kicking their asses, eyes zeroing on Tamaki, who was making his way to the sidelines. He looked so cute in the UA jumpsuit, his ears poking out from his hair; it seemed obvious to everyone but him that you adored the soon to be pro-hero. You had been in the same class as the Big Three since year one, made friends right away with Mirio and his best friend, the quiet Tamaki. The nervous, socially awkward boy - who you had developed feelings for over time. 

“Y/N.” Mirio was calling out to you, as he rushed towards Class -1-A, a carefree glance plastered on his face. “You joining or not?”

“Hell yes,” you shouted back, rushing towards your friend. Watching as Mirio went head to head with the boy he called Problem Child, you wanted to throw some of the younger students off guard. Jogging over to the group, who were distracted by Mirio, you touched the shoulder of a girl with horns and pink skin. 

“He’s going to be the number one hero one day,” you boasted. She jumped back just as Mirio disappeared and reappeared behind the group. You smiled when the girl used her quirk to throw corrosive liquid, acid, in your direction. Mimicking her moves, her face drew up in horror. 

“You stole my quirk!”

The students that weren’t fighting Mirio off, turned to you in horror. Holding your palm out, acid flew up and you grinned. “I’d never steal someone’s quirk but I can acquire it for a bit. Of course, you still have access to your quirk but so do I….at least for a little bit or until I touch someone else.”

The girl relaxed and scratched the back of her head. “Sorry, I freaked for a second.”

“Do me next!”

A slender blond boy stepped up, an odd looking belt around his navel. “Let’s see if you can control my quirk.”

He winked at you and you looked to Mirio; he was way too busy wrecking students left to right. Figuring he had it, you shrugged and beckoned the boy over, he strutted over to you and posed. Laughing, you touched his shoulder for a few seconds. Feeling a wave of energy wash over your body, you looked over your shoulder to where Tamaki stood. He wasn’t staring at the wall as per usual, instead he was focused on you. 

Unable to control the butterflies in your stomach, your body tensed up and before you could regain control, a sparkly laser beam shot from your navel. The sudden jolts and power sent you flying backwards, thrusting you into the air. You shouted in pain as your body flew to the ground, but when you expected the pain of the concrete floor to hit you, it didn’t. Instead, two large tentacles wrapped around your waist, your body collapsing against someone as they slammed against the wall, sliding down to the ground with you in their embrace.

Out of breath, you laid still for a minute, trying to catch your breath. That kid’s quirk was powerful and it was painful too, you definitely felt bad for him. Breath slowing down to a normal state, you felt the tentacles retract, replaced by a strong pair of arms.

“Are - are you okay?”

A sweet whisper danced against your ears and you realized in a heartbeat, who had caught you; sweet, quiet Tamaki. His body was warm against yours and you could feel the heat rising from your toes. 

“I feel dizzy, I might puke,” you admitted, sitting up. His knees were bent up and your body was right up against his chest. Embarrassed, you crawled off him, He stumbled to his feet, turning to face the wall.

“I -  sorry…” Tamaki stammered over his words and you quickly got up, forgetting about being nauseous. His head moved forward but before his forehead could touch the wall, your hand slipped right in between. His eyes widened at the feel of your palm against his forehead and you smiled at him. 

“Don’t hurt your head, Tamaki. It’s too cute.”

A burst of bravery flashed across his face as he looked at you but before he could say a word, your body gave out.

….

The room was quiet as your eyes fluttered open; you were in your dorm, in bed. Feeling better, you sat up and saw Tamaki sleeping on the floor. Heat slapped your face as you realized someone of the opposite sex was in your room. Looking to the clock on the wall, you saw that it was past midnight - okay, that definitely wasn’t allowed. Unable to move, you studied the young man’s face and smiled at the way his indigo colored hair swept over his forehead. 

He was a snorer but it was endearing. 

Noticing he had no blanket, just a pillow tucked under his head, you reached over for an extra one at the end of the bed and was surprised to see tentacles forming from your hands. Startled, you held back a shout, remembering that you had touched Tamaki earlier. 

“This is crazy,” you whispered, chuckling as you grabbed the blanket and reached over to cover Tamaki without having to leave the bed. The tentacles weren’t as long as his but they were a little hard to control. It was evident when you accidentally smacked Tamaki in the face as you pulled away; holding your breath, you watched as he stirred but didn’t wake. Slowly, you crept off the bed and moved around him to get to the full length mirror next to the closet. 

When you saw yourself, you nearly died of laughter - you looked ridiculous and not as intimidating as Tamaki when he was in this form. He looked badass in his hero suit, like a knight in shining armor - you on the other hand, looked like a sea creature. 

“Oh, god.”

A low painful voice came from behind you, it was Tamaki, standing near your bed. He was still wearing the UA training suit, as were you. He looked embarrassed and upset as he rushed to the door but you were faster, looping a tentacle around his waist. Using all your strength, you held him in place as his hand came over the doorknob.

“Please don’t leave me,” you begged. “I don’t know how long your quirk will last, I could just go touch someone else but everyone’s asleep.”

You relaxed, letting him go when his hand fell from the doorknob. “I - I carried you to the nurses office and then to your room. I -I held you for too long, I don’t know when my quirk will leave you.”

He continued to face the door but didn’t leave. Walking over to him, you felt a strike of bravery - you had adored him for years now, watched him with soft eyes and love in your heart. It bloomed over the years, when others would not take the chance to get to know him.  Scolded him for looking down on himself and cheered the loudest in his corner, even though you never thought you would have a chance with him. It didn’t matter, being in his corner was enough but now as he stood in your room, you wanted more.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with my quirk,” he muttered miserably.

Rolling your eyes, you stepped up to him. His back was hunched over but his entire body hardened when you wrapped both tentacles around his waist, pressing your face into the fabric of his uniform. You could feel his nerves rattling as you took a deep  breath.

“I’m glad I was given a chance to experience the power you have, Tamaki,” you whispered, tilting your head to the side. Your cheek felt warm against his back as you stared at the mirror, watching his reflection carefully. His face was surprisingly calm, opposed to the tension you felt in the rest of his body. 

“W-why?”

The question made you smile and you held him tighter. “It makes me feel closer to you, Tamaki and...and that’s all I ever wanted. Are you that oblivious?”

Terrified of his reaction, you looked away from the mirror and buried your face into his face, clinging to him. Tentacles trembled, waiting for his response to your confession. What if he did not feel the same way? He never showed interest, why would you think he would have feelings for you? You were questioning the moment, wishing it was a fever dream from using too many quirks in one day.

Yes, that’s it, you thought, holding back the tears. He’s not really here, this is a dream and when you wake up, you will be back with Mirio. Back at the gym, kicking 1-A’s collective butt. 

Yeah, that’s it. 

“Mirio- he...he’s always making comments,” Tamaki whispered, forehead against the door.  “Stupid little comments that I know could never be true, because why - why would you like someone like me.”

Your head pulled away from his back and you stared at the back of his head, focused on the nape of his neck. “Because, you’re special, Tamaki. I wish you could see what Mirio and I see, what everyone sees. You’re amazing and I have always wished to be someone you could look in the eye. I want you to look me in the eye, so I can feel special too.”

Tears fell from your face as the tentacles retracted, forming back into your own arms. They started to fall from Tamaki’s waist as he carefully turned around, face hung low. Your heart pounded as he stood straight and finally, after so long, looked you in the eyes. His face was nervous but soft, fingers trembling as they reached for yours. His skin warm and soft as he held your hand, squeezing his palm against yours. His usually frown turned into a quiet smile and you knew then, that you were in love.

“You’re special to me,” he whispered and you beamed, throwing your arms around his neck. Without hesitation, he pulled you close and embraced you. His chin rested on your shoulders as you kissed him gently on the cheek. His face turned red so quickly it made you laugh. Kissing him again, you moved away and touched the side of his face.

“Will you stay with me a bit longer?”

Leaning into your hand, he nodded. “Okay.”

His heart leaped as you led him to the bed, motioning for him to lay down first. He did and watched as you took the space up next to him, your head resting on his shoulder as he pulled your blanket over the two of you. You inhaled deeply, placing your hand on his chest, smiling when he cupped it with his own. The room was quiet as the two of you laid together, the feeling in the air was something new and sweet, and as your eyes began to grow heavy, you said his name.

“Y-Yeah?”

Dipping your head back, you stared up at him. “How did you get into my dorm after hours? I’m sure the administration wouldn’t have allowed it.”

Tamaki’s eyebrows furrowed and he moved his hand over his face. “Mirio and Nejire helped me sneak in.”

Laughing, you drew his hand from his face and grinned. “My sweet, sneaky Tamaki.”

He chuckled nervously and when his eyes met yours, soft and relaxed, you knew what it felt like to feel special.

[willowbird]

For the prompt thing: Andrew/Neil, trope: sickness/injury, location: violently orange yacht. Have fun! Thanks =)

Ooh definitely!

Since no AU was specified I made it kinda intentionally ambiguous.

Also, so you know, I 100% sat down to write this as a cutesy seasick/comfort w/teasing sorta fic. Then, idk, i got a lil bloodthirsty. Just a little bit, though.

Warning for mentions of blood.

---

"Are you really going to hide down here for the whole time?" Kevin's voice was both tired and annoyed, and just for that Andrew didn't even bother to acknowledge his presence, let alone his words.

Instead, he pointedly turned the page in his book as if there was no one about to bother him at all. They had been out on the water for a whole six hours. Andrew had watched the shoreline get smaller and smaller as they pulled away and when it was just a fine sketch of a line along the horizon he'd gone investigating. Which was how he'd found this hidden little nook in the storage hull or whatever the big room of supplies was in the belly of the boat.

The monstrosity was technically a yacht. Which, by definition, is a pleasure liner - a boat intended for entertainment. This "yacht" was big enough to not only carry but fully house and supply a contingent of college athletes. It was suspiciously fortified and had enough supplies stockpiled away that Andrew was beginning to wonder if he hadn't been kidnapped because it seemed just a little bit excessive for a "weekend away".

Personally, he didn't think his problems were going to go away or even be at all eased by an attempted escape via ugly boat. But he wasn't the only one with those problems. He wasn't the only one hurting. And after almost a year... well, he would grudgingly tag along, but he didn't have to participate.

The damn thing was also the most grotesque shade of claw-your-eyes-out dayglow orange that Andrew had ever seen. Which honestly was one of the reasons he'd already gone inside, as of by hiding in the deepest, darkest corner of the vessel he'd save himself a migraine.

"And Andrew? The Lady Fox has luxury suites for each of us. You can't even hide in your room? You choose to come... here?" Out of the corner of his eye, Andrew saw Kevin give his choice of hideaways a disparaging look.

Without taking his eyes from the page, Andrew lifted one hand and offered Kevin his one-fingered opinion.

The next thing he heard was Kevin's annoyed scoff, followed by his retreating footsteps. Satisfied, Andrew snuggled down a little bit deeper into the conveniently-placed hammock he'd found already strung up when he initially explored the place. The book he was reading had a bit of a slow start, but at least three of the side-characters were interesting enough to carry him through until the plot picked up.

Except, he only got two more pages along when he heard a sudden and quite ominous thump that was accompanied by a muffled groan. The book in his hand was instantly replaced with one of the knives he kept tucked in the armbands he was never without. Some people might call Andrew paranoid for bringing weapons onto a boat where he was surrounded only by close friends and family, with a literal ocean between them and harm. Those people would probably be dead right now, gutted in their sleep by a murderous stowaway. Or maybe that thump was one of his family, being murdered by the murderous stowaway.

Maybe it was Kevin.

That thought put a spike of fear in his heart, but right in its wake came a surge of deep rage.

No. He would not allow it. He had already lost... Enough had happened. He refused to let Kevin be hurt as well.

Andrew got out of the hammock as soundlessly and gracefully as possible, searching the shadows of the only half-lit cavernous space as he inched toward the source of the sound. He kept the blade poised to attack with one hand and pulled out his cell phone with the other. Two thumb-swipes later the had the flashlight enabled.

It wasn't Kevin. Nope. Definitely not Kevin.

Not-Kevin was crumpled in a heap in front of a stack of supply crates that it looked like he'd rolled off of, thus causing the thump Andrew had heard. The groan of pain, however, was clearly not from the fall. Or, well, not just from the fall.

"Who are you?" Andrew demanded, shining the light right on the person's face. They looked like a guy, probably. Short-ish hair and made up of more angles than curves - though it was really hard to tell more than that because the blood-soaked clothes were a little bit distracting.

The injured man(?) on the floor let out a choked, broken sound that Andrew belatedly realized was a laugh. It was so rasped and mangled, he'd almost thought the stowaway was about to launch into their death-throes. Judging by the bloodstains and way the person shook and swayed precariously while trying to push up to their hands and knees, that actually might not have been that far off a guess.

Then the stowaway, the person, the man, said, "Nothing."

Andrew froze. "What did you say?"

"You asked who I was," the man said, and Andrew was sure it was a man now. Moreover, the rough edges around his voice may have been tight with pain and possibly disuse, but even without Andrew's near-perfect memory he would have knows the sharp slashes of that voice anywhere.

The man looked up and in the white glow of Andrew's phone light there was no mistaking how immeasurably blue his eyes were. Like the sky painted from an artist's favorite memory. Like the hint of eternity in a crystal sphere.

Neil smiled. His face was dotted with dried blood and marked with new scars, but the expression still somehow turned the whole world on its head to make it a softer, warmer, safer place.

Andrew wasn't sure what hit the ground first, his phone, his knife, or his knees as he skidded to the floor beside Neil, reaching for him. "Neil... Neil. Fuck. The blood. It's yours? FUCK!" He was babbling, but his own voice was distant to his ears as he touched Neil for the first time in almost a year, as he gathered him close and searched for the source of all that blood.

Shaky hands reached for him and Andrew didn't even think about batting them away. He leaned into their touch even as he turned his face toward the stairs and raised his voice to a shout: "KEVIN! AARON! SOMEONE! NOW!"

"H-hey now, Andrew. Andrew, shh, it's okay. I'm okay, it's okay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never meant to be away this long."

"Shut up with your fucking 'sorry's Neil, I don't want your fucking 'sorry' - I want you here and alive and not dying in my goddamn arms I am NOT doing this with you, do you hear me junkie?"

Andrew felt like his entire system was in overdrive, his mind moving too fast and his nerve ending firing off in matching cylinders. They looked for Neil for months. And when they finally got a breakthrough via that fucking miserable twat Jean Moreau, it was only to find out that Neil was likely dead.

Those hands cupped his face, and even though they trembled against his cheeks he still touched Andrew like he was holding something incredibly precious. Something that needed care and protection lest it drop or be crushed.

"I promise, Drew. I did not drag myself halfway back around the world just to die in your arms."

"Do not even attempt to give me that, Neil. That is exactly the kind of dramatic shit you would do."

"Nah," Neil protested with a rough laugh. "Definitely more Aaron's thing. He's such a petty bitch."

"Fuck you," Andrew spat out, but a bubble of what might have bene a laugh caught in his chest. There were running footsteps coming their way, thundering down the steps and into the room.

"Andrew?! Andrew what-- oh my God. Oh my God. AARON GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Kevin was still shouting as he came to land beside the two of them, and Andrew almost pulled another knife and stabbed him in the fucking eye as he reached for Neil.

In fact, he didn't even realize he had drawn a knife until Kevin jerked back so suddenly he fell on his ass.

"Jesus! Andrew it's just me. He is covered in blood he needs a hospital!"

"It's mostly not mine," Neil chimed in as Andrew struggled to rein in the half-crazed beast that had taken over the arm not holding Neil. The monster inside him was in fits, and its growl was rumbling in Andrew's throat - kept in check only by the slow stroking of Neil's fingers down his jaw.

"Mostly not yours," Kevin echoed, and even through the haze of Andrew's protective rage, he could hear how dumbfounded the other man was.

"Mhm. And I stitched myself up already."

"Stitched yourself up," said Kevin. Then he looked toward the stairs and bellowed: "AARON!"

Neil sighed and the exasperation in that sound was so fucking familiar that it knocked the beast far enough off its temper for Andrew to take control again. He took a slow breath, then another. When Neil looked up at him again, Andrew asked, "Why? How?"

Neil grimaced. The expression must have been painful, Andrew realized as he watched him - because now that he was really looking he could tell that those new scars on his face were less 'scars' and more 'barely healed torture wounds'.

All Neil said was, "It's a long story."

As Aaron finally came half-falling down the steps on wobbly sea-legs, Andrew decided he would leave it be - for now.

The important thing was that Neil was here, Neil was alive, and nothing - fucking nothing - was going to take him away again.

[stankyleg89]

Open Window

Peter Parker x Reader (pretty gender neutral)

Warnings: a bit of language

Summary: A 3 am call from a certain web-slinging hero leads to new revelations

a/n: I stayed up until 2 am on a writing spree lol hope you enjoy. I think the reader is p gender neutral unless I missed something

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Ding ding! Ding ding!

I groggily got up and rubbed my eyes. The disoriented feeling in my head cleared as I stretched my arms. I flipped my phone to see Peters contact lighting up my phone. I looked to the corner of my screen.

3:17 am. 

Damn it Peter. Why does he have to call me this late?

I swiped my finger across the screen and held it up to my ear. “Mmmm-Yello?” I said, trying to sound coherent. 

Peter's voice rang through my head “Hey Y/N, how's it going?”

This is what he called me at 3 in the morning for? To see how it's going?

“Well, Peter, I was about to head out for a vigorous night of drinking and partying, but I was so rudely interrupted by a call from my favorite superhero,” I responded sarcastically. 

He took a minute to respond “Really?”

“No, dummy, I was sleeping. What could you possibly need at this hour!”

There was a long silence. I even checked my phone to see if he had accidentally hung up, but no, he was still on. 

“Peter?” 

“Right, yeah, can I come over? I can’t sleep and I don’t know what to do. I tried everything--I even went for a swing around the city, nothing!” He paused again. I could hear the gears in his head turning. It was almost like… he was hiding something. Nonetheless, I couldn’t say no to Peter, he was my best friend (besides Ned of course).

“Yeah, absolutely.” I began to sit up in my bed, trying extra hard to rub the sleep out of my eyes, “So, I’ll see you in 10?” I got up headed to open my window. The cold February wind wafted through, mixing with the warm air in my room, leaving goosebumps that crawled on my skin. It was nights like these that made sleeping under all of your covers so amazingly comfortable.

“Actually, funny thing. I may have swung all the way to your apartment. I’m outside now.” I heard a clunk from outside the window and a familiar mask popped down from above my window. I jumped back, not expecting the web-slinger so soon. I regained my composure and hung up the phone, throwing it on the bed, along with myself as Peter let himself in. 

I turned and watched as Peter crawled into my window, hitting one of the pots with his foot. Just as quickly as he kicked it, his spider senses had kicked in and he had caught it, managing to only spill a little soil on my rug. He looked up at me, and I could tell through the mask that he had a small, almost embarrassed smile on his face. He made it through the rest of the window and set the small plant back on the sill, promptly closing the window with it. He took off his mask and turned to me, throwing it onto my desk. I looked closer at him and noticed the tired in his eyes. He looked downright miserable.

I pulled the numerous blankets back and patted the spot next to me, “hop on in, partner,” a small, sincere smile drew itself on my face. He tapped the spider on his chest and the suit immediately deflated itself, pooling at Peter's feet. He stepped out and draped it over the back of my desk chair. He was wearing nothing but his boxers as he stood in front of me. I guess he didn't realize until we had met eyes, but no sooner we had both begun to blush. I looked away out of a mixture of embarrassment and curtesy, and cleared my throat. “Um, I think I have a spare set of mens sweatpants if you want some,” I tried my hardest to sound cool, and calm. I heard a small “yes please” from Peter and immediately hopped up from the bed and went to my dresser.

I was rummaging through my dresser for a good minute, and for every second I could feel Peter behind me, trying his hardest to act casual. Swaying back and forth and looking around my room, trying to distract himself with it all. I found my sweats and turned back to Peter, who immediately met my eyes again. I looked away quickly and walked over to him, handing the pants over. Our eyes once again met, but this time it felt less awkward, like we were both two people who were fully clothed. I soon came to realize that neither of us were. He was holding a pair of my sweatpants, standing in his boxers. I was in an oversized Green Day t-shirt and underwear. Once again we were both blushing. 

It's not my fault though. The way he was basically naked in front of me. His chiseled body was like looking at a fucking god, I mean… God Damn. Let me just say I would not hesitate to let that man DESTROY me, but I could never tell him. No matter how lovestruck I was, Peter was a friend first, eye candy second. Plus, I knew he probably didn’t feel the same way, I heard him talking to Ned one day about how he was thinking about asking Liz to Homecoming. But just because he was off the market, doesn’t mean I can’t admire the product. 

I gave him a smile as he slipped the sweats on, and walked back over to the bed. Giving him a once over I broke the silence, “Damn, Parker, my sweats are doing wonders for your ass,” I let out a laugh as he turned to me, a coy smile and a blush plastered on his face. This made me laugh even harder, which made Peter let out some quiet laughter. He climbed into bed next to me and we both lied down, the laughter now dying down.

“So Parker,” I started, turning over so that I was looking at him. “What brings you around at this hour?” He let out a sigh, but didn’t respond. This didn’t sit right with me, so I sat up to look at him in the face. He was staring at the ceiling, unbothered by my staring. “Hey, whats up?” This time I was more serious, hoping that that would pry an answer out of him. 

He closed his eyes and scrunched up his face “I- don't want to say, its…” He trailed off for a moment, as if trying to stall his next words. “Embarrassing,” 

I rolled my eyes and now sat fully up, “Peter it’s ok, you can tell me. I wont judge, I promise.” He opened his eyes slightly to look at me. I was smiling, hoping that that might help ease the embarrassment. He looked back up at the ceiling, “I… had a nightmare,” he breathed out and was now covering his face to hide his embarrassment. I didn’t understand. Everyone gets nightmares sometimes. It was completely normal. 

“Well Peter, everyone gets nightmares sometimes--I don’t really think you should be embarrassed about that. But, if it would help, you can tell me what happened.” I felt like however silly his reasons were, I wanted to to be supportive of my friend. 

“That's the thing” he started. This time he sat up and turned so that we were eye to eye. “I had a nightmare about you.” The face I was making must have scared him, because he hastily continued, “I-I mean like you are ok now so it's fine, but it was pretty horrific. I remember I was umm- running, because I heard you yelling for me. It was like running through a maze, but when I finally found you, you were…” He stopped. His eyes were turning red and you could tell it was becoming harder for him to finish, But he carried on. “You were lying on the ground, and like, half your face and your arm were all burnt up like him like Mr.-” He couldn’t finish as he wiped away some tears that were falling from his face. I didn't need him to finish however, and ended up wrapping ghim in a hug. I felt him sniffle as he leaned his head down into my shoulder, wrapping his arms around me. It felt nice knowing that I could be there for him. I heard his breath steady as he continued. “It j-just felt so real and now I feel like I can never close my eyes again without seeing your body-” He couldn’t finish.

I thought for a moment, trying to figure out a way to calm Peter down. I pulled back from the hug and told Peter to lie down. “Come on Peter, lets get some sleep,” I moved to turn the lights out, then found my way next to a sniffling Peter. “You know that will never happen, I can promise you that,” I whispered. “I know you are still upset about Mr. Stark, and I know you have been through a lot. I need you to know that you still have so many people here to help you stick out the pain. You’ve got May, Ned, MJ…” I trailed off, getting lost in my thoughts. 

I heard Peter speak up quietly, “You?”

I smiled at the thought of Peter thinking about me “Yes Peter, obviously me. Anytime you have another nightmare, my window is open.” I looked at him through the darkness, and I could tell he was looking down at me. “Looks like you're stuck with me” 

I could tell the gap between us was thin. I could feel his breath on me. I wanted so badly to move up and kiss him, but he did that for me. Our lips met and all of my thoughts went out the window as I kissed him back. May I just say. Holy Fuck. I had only dreamed of kissing Peter and now… Jesus Christ. His lips were chapped slightly, but soft nonetheless. You couldn’t even tell it was one of the first kisses Peter had ever had, but boy ‘o’ boy was it his favorite.

It ended seconds after. As we both pulled back, the looks of surprise and bliss were written all over our faces. Anyone who had walked into the room at that moment could clearly tell what had happened. Peter leaned back and stared at the ceiling in awe “Holy shit. That was...” It was almost as if he was at a loss for words. 

“Overdue.” I finished his thought for him and let out a small laugh, “guess you really are stuck with me now huh?”

If you had told me at the beginning of the night that I would be locking lips with Peter Parker, aka my longtime crush, aka Spiderman, I would have laughed in your face, but now… 

 He turned and wrapped me in his arms. “I don’t think I’ll have trouble getting to sleep tonight, now that I’m here, with you.” I felt his chin rest on the top of my head, and I took this chance to snake my arms around him, resetting my head on his chest. We sat in silence, listening to each other breathe for quite some time. I felt his chest vibrate as he hummed quietly “This is great.” his voice was low, like he was on the verge of falling asleep. This was the understatement of the year. If heaven were a feeling, this would be it.  I felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier, and soon enough Peter's heartbeat had lulled me to sleep. He had fallen asleep soon after. The thoughts of him coming through my window more regularly, not to mention the smell of me floating through the room put his mind at ease. I felt like I was the luckiest person in the world.

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a/n: I hope yall liked the read! lmk what you thought about it ;0

[sisterofleatherfrog]

Star Wars Kinktober day- 3

Prompt: Under-clothes bondage 

Fives x Sub! OC (AFAB)

Orla is another one of my OC’s that I sometimes play around with in my fandom daydreams. She’s very tall (think around 6’10), and her appearance is non-human (I’ll definitely have to elaborate on that in art form later), and she is Five’s big-titty goth gf. She has some self-confidence/worth issues, but Fives is literally so goddamn smitten. 

Some art as a sorry for missing day 4!

Tags: Bondage, collar, bf chooses gf’s clothes and dresses her, pre negotiated kink, safewords, cunnilingus, dirty talk, daddy kink

Words: 2440

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“Fives? Do- do you, could you help me?” Orla asked, a tremble present in her voice. They’d planned this outing the previous week, going out to a beer garden to have lunch and meet with a few of Five’s brothers and their significant others. She’d made friends with a few of the troopers and their partners and was definitely looking forward to having a few drinks with them. That wasn’t all though, after confirming the date and time Orla had got to thinking. They’d been playing around with a lot of things recently in the bedroom; the collection of ropes, binders, among other things in their special little place was a testament to that. They had yet to try and bring it out of the bedroom, but it had been teasing Orla’s mind all week, and maybe…

Footsteps came up to the ajar bedroom door and it swung as it opened, her lover’s head peaked in. “What’s the matter Meshla? The dress zipper stu-” Fives abruptly stopped as he saw her, kneeling nude in the middle of the bedroom with a several meter length of red rope before her. The door lightly knocked the wall as he came fully into the room and looked down at her from a few paces with no little interest in his eyes. “What’s all this then,?”

He didn’t sound like he was upset in any way and Orla felt confident in explaining: “Well, remember us speaking of trying more adventurous things?” Fives nodded, eyes shining with that impish edge she knew so well as they roved her lush body. She bit her lip, “I must confess I’ve been thinking more on it since these plans were made, and maybe… Could you tie me up, daddy? I want to be your good little slut wherever we go together.” She lowered her head, but still her eyes stayed on Fives where he looked down on her. 

For a moment he was quiet, seemingly stunned as everything, her nudity, the use of THAT word, and the begging all came together to short-circuit his mind. Before she could start to regret her decision though, he drew in a shaky breath and drew a hand down his face until the wide grin on his face was revealed to her. He shifted his weight, the movement catching her eye and bringing it down to his crotch where he was beginning to stir. “Shit meshla,” he breathed. “Do you mean it? Do you really want to do this with me?”

Orla nodded, a desperation that surprised her causing heat to lick throughout her abdomen and fill her head. Fives came and knelt before her, now looking up to her dark eyes, partially shadowed by her coal black hair. “I need your words Orla, I need to know you really want this and aren’t doing something just to please me. Maker, do I want you like this, but not at the expense of you being miserable.” The corner of his mouth lifted, revealing one perfect dimple. “I want this to be good for you too.” 

A different warmth suffused her, she knew he loved her, and the amount of care he always gave her made her feel like a princess. Leaning her head down into a keldabe with him, she smiled before moving her lips to brush over his tattoo and down to his ear. “I want this, daddy, I truly do. I want to be extra good for you.” Orla punctuated her words by sliding a hand over his thigh and up to cup the bulge at his crotch. Fives groaned and grabbed the both of her wrists to stop her hands from wandering any further.

“You win this one, and you’re the best girlfriend ever!” He punctuated his sentence with a quick smooch before dragging her to stand with him. “Turn around meshla and lift your hair, let's see about getting you into this.” He started by placing the rope around the back of her neck, making sure that even halves were on either side of her neck and going down her front. Coming around he gently but confidently gripped it, already knowing the alignment of loops and knots he had to do. Within the valley between her breasts he made one knot and left a kiss on her left breast, below he made another and gave her right breast the same treatment. Just above her belly button he made one more knot, then dropped to his knees and started to trail kisses down from there, taking a moment to dip his tongue into her belly button and making Orla giggle, before he went lower and transformed it into a gasp. Five’s tongue followed the curve of her lower abdomen, trailed along her upper thigh, before he pulled back, his right hand taking its place before moving in and parting her labia with two strong, skilled fingers. 

Fives looked into her intently, studying the configuration of sensitive flesh at her apex for a moment before coming forward to kiss her lips, making out with her slit as his tongue made love to her clit. She gasped down at him, hand coming to clutch at his shoulders and the top of his head, whatever she could reach to steady herself. He was- “Oh, Fives, right there love!” He moved deeper into her heat if that was even possible, both hands having moved to her ass cheeks to pull her closer. His lips were locked around her clit, alternating and simultaneously sucking and licking with that tongue of his, that said such alternatingly inflammatory and jesting words, skilled and silver now on her. Often he would move, delve into her, kiss along her thighs and tease, build her up to a wholly satisfying end. This was something else though, a hunger both desperate and wild, focused on one goal alone, tracing along that lone and narrow path with a single minded purpose. He went on, groaning into her and holding her still as she shivered writhed, her size making no difference in his ability to hold her right where he wanted with his strength. 

Orla’s breath was escaping her in gasps and high whines, keening her need to him and she was drawn further and further up that path by him, his desperation infecting her as well. Oh he wasn’t taking his time at all, but she was adoring this direct and needy side to him. Her legs were turning to rubber and Five’s hands slid into the curve below her ass to hold her even more firmly, surely leaving marks that would be seen there later. He kept licking and laving, latched on so firmly it was as if he was feeding from her all the while she fed off the pleasure she got from him, creating a self-sustaining organism in a perpetual state of bliss and ecstasy. She felt him tying a new knot and keened into the otherwise quiet air of the room, her head tilting back and chest arching as she felt it winding ever tighter within her womb. Tighter and tighter, lick by suck, she was on the edge and just had to stretch a little further-

With a wild cry she fell, the knot unwound with a blinding intensity and she shook as her cunt clenched over nothing again and again. Fives kept at her throughout her orgasm, firmly pressing his tongue to her as she danced against it in order to carry her down. When she was passing pleasure and entering into the territory of too much, Orla put a hand on his head and gently urged it away from her and he released with an obscene pop sound. He gazed up at her, eyebrows drawn down into an expression of yearning and his eyes shining as bright as her slick on his chin. The sight was enough to draw an honest whimper from her.

“There, there meshla, you’re alright,” he cooed, now rubbing her legs and sides in order to sooth her. “You did so well, coming for me like that all wet and sweet. I was so happy when you told me how much you wanted to try something public that I just couldn’t help myself. I love you so, so much my beautiful Orla. ‘Want you to always feel good.” He rambled against her lower stomach as he rested his forehead there, praise spilling out of him like water from a too full cup. They stayed like that for a little while until she felt like she had more control over her body, the shivering and shaking dying down with her leveling breath. Finally he lifted himself and stood, hands coming to rest against her lower back as he delicately pressed her to him. “Are you good? I didn’t mean to be too much, especially before we got somewhere to be.”

Orla smiled widely, “It wasn’t too much Fives, in fact it was very much appreciated.”

He smiled back, “Well that’s good, I’d hate to have to tell the boys we had to cancel because the pussy was just too good.”

She snorted, “Oh I’m sure you would, lover.” Suddenly feeling a little shy, she continued, “Now, can you please help me finish getting ready? I don’t think I can do all these knots and twists myself.”

He reached up to cup her cheek and draw her down for a quick kiss, “Oh meshla I’d be more than happy to assist. Though, after that, and this being your first time trying this, how about we put some panties on you so the rope won’t rub as much?” 

This man- “What pair should I wear then daddy?” always so considerate of her. 

His grin was downright feral as he looked at her before taking her hand and leading her over to her wardrobe and pulling out the proper drawer, said drawer full of a rainbow of lace, cotton, satin, and mesh. Orla loved fun panties and Fives took full advantage of that, loving whenever she would ask him to choose for her so that he could picture what lay under her clothes all day. She was partial to a few pairs, but he most always chose the pair he plucked from the bunch now, a royal and baby blue number dyed in a marble pattern with ‘Want some?’ written across the ass in aurebesh. He ducked down and she again steadied herself with his shoulders as he now lifted each of her legs to fit into the slip of fabric, before drawing them up to her hips and smoothing the hems.

Then, after checking with her once again, he returned to the previously forgotten rope and from the last left knot, drew the tailings down to her apex. Twisting the ropes together some so that they’d sit between her labia, he drew them between her spread legs and went to her back to draw it up to the initial loop at the back of her neck. Pulling so it was snug but not tight, he brought both halves to come out to her hands, “Hold onto these for me love.” She complied and he came back around the front of her, taking a moment to admire what he’d done already. “Oh, yeah, it’s all coming together.” Orla snorted and lightly slapped his chest, he raised an eyebrow, “Is that the sort of game you want to play right now?”

“Maybe later.” She teasingly promised and he grinned back at her, now looping the rope from under her arms and between the first and second knot, the rope turning back on each side to return behind her back the way it had come. He followed and looped each side around the lengths that ran up her spine before indicating she should hold the rope again. He did the same process between the second and third knot and around her back before bringing up what was left of the rope and tying it off on the third knot. He stepped back then, eyes roaming up and down the planes and curves of her body, now decorated with blue and tied off with red, like a present just for him. He looked for a long, long while.

“You know what to do if this gets to be too much and you want to stop, right?”

She nodded seriously, “Five taps to your thigh, or say ‘Zillo’.”

He smiled like the sun, “Now how are we going to cover all this up?”

“Oh I really don’t know daddy, maybe you could help me with that too?”

“Orla, I have no idea what I did to deserve you but I love you so much, and I mean that with my whole ass.” He confessed with all seriousness.

Laughing again, she pressed against him and leaned down to kiss his wonderful mouth. Breaking apart again they went to inspect her clothes hanging in the closet. He reached in and pulled out a black dress with a halter top and flowy skirt that would fall about halfway down her thighs. He grinned, “Feeling like being a little risky today as well by any chance?”

“Yes please my love!” Slipping it over her head, Fives did up the three clips that secured the neck. Leaving the last bit up to her, Orla found a top to layer over it to better obscure the bondage beneath, and finished it up with a traditional self-tying corset from her people, quickly done up by pulling the two cords to either side of her and tying them in front. Meanwhile, Fives had quickly gone to change his shirt and give his face a wipe, both having been soaked by her earlier. Returning in a casual purple button up with red stitching along the collar, he looked like a treasure to be found in her people’s queen's harem.

“Looking good lover.” She told him as she bent to pull on her boots, the three inch platforms bringing her height to a full foot above his own. 

“Quacta, stifling.” he simply responded. 

Walking towards the door he asked, “Are we all ready to go meshla?” he turned and she 

smiled shyly again, feeling a blush turning the purple shades in her skin darker.

“Maybe not quite?” she intoned, moving back to the closet she opened it and pushed aside a few of his shirts to reveal a certain rack of jewelry, consisting of leather collars, some with rings on them, others otherwise decorative. “Which one do you think I should wear out today, daddy?”

In the end, they were a little late getting to the beer gardens.

🖤💜🖤

Oh I really liked writing this one. I know so far all my works have been coming out early in the morning the day after they’re supposed to be posted but I am going to try and fix that! Like the Tup and Aurelie work on the 1st, I feel like this one may come back with a part 2 because I’m really vibing with these two (and I hope y’all are too just as much as I am). 

Kinktober works

Masterlist

[jawritter]

My Rescue Story

Summary: People can be cruel and judgemental, but they don’t get to see the side of him you see.

Warnings: Fluff, just tooth rotting fluff. Maybe the tiniest bit of angst at the beginning. Language, Jensen being the soft little bean that we all love so much. That’s about it.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 1505

A/N: This fic is completely unbeta’d, so all mistakes are mine! This is just a spur of the moment fic. I figured you guys needed some fluff after I destroyed people with my last one shot, lol. As always people do not copy my work. Feedback is golden! I hope you guys enjoy this one!

Want more? Check out my Masterlist! 

***MASTERLIST***

Still not enough? Become a Patreon, and get exclusive fics and one shots!!

***BECOME A PATREON***

“STOP!” Jensen said, swatting annoyedly at Jared, who was still trying to touch the small hole in the sleeve of his shirt. 

The whole crowd roared with laughter as grumpy Jensen gave Jared the best bitch face he could muster. The one he knew everyone loved. The adorable scowl with the pouty lips and the scrunched up face. The one that made him look like Dean no matter how long his hair was, or how full his beard got.

You giggle along with the rest of the crowd as the panel continued along the lines of much of the same lighthearted, tomfoolery, that they always did. Apparently not everyone found it so funny that Jensen was acting especially grumpy on this panel. 

One of the handlers, who probably thought that you would never hear her comment over the laughter of the crowd as Jensen and Jared reenacted some story that Jared was telling, made the comment to an older woman standing next to her. 

“God, he’s such an asshole. Always in a damn mood.” 

The other woman laughed at her friend. They were obviously talking about Jensen, who was currently giving an over-exaggerated grunt as he pulled himself off of the stage floor. The crowd ate it up. They loved it when Jensen acted like that because it reminded them so much of Dean Winchester. Still, these women didn’t seem all that impressed. 

“I know, he’s always bitching on stage about something, or he’s acting like a grandpa while Jared is just trying to have a good time. He’s such a fucking killjoy,” she said, walking off the to the corner of the stage to signal the end of the panel to the boys with her friend following close on her heels. 

Rob and the band scurried around the stage, singing the last question song with Jensen as Jared helped a younger-looking fan on stage to ask the final question of the panel. 

You weren’t really paying attention at this point. Your mind was still stuck on what the handler and her friend had been saying about Jensen. 

Jensen and yourself had not been dating very long, maybe around four months, and this was your first convention to have attended. They were still going, even though the show had ended. Which was impressive all on its own. The fandom was amazing, and everyone you had met so far was great, with the exception of a few. 

How could they talk about Jensen that way? It was rude and inconsiderate, but more than that it was belligerently wrong. 

Jensen and yourself had a bit of an age gap, roughly ten years, but usually, you didn’t even notice it all that much. He wasn’t an asshole by any means. He’d literally give the shirt off his back if he saw someone who needed it more than he did. 

He wasn’t grumpy all the time. Hell, he and Jared had just been trying to shock Rob with one of those handheld, gag gift buzzer things before he got on stage. He usually carried such a light with him. He had a way of making everyone around him smile, and if he knew someone was having a bad day, he’d work especially hard to do so. 

He in no way was a “grandpa”. 

They didn’t know him. They didn’t know your Jensen. So why would they feel they had the right to talk about him in such a way? 

You would never understand why certain people made it their life goal to look down on and talk about people, just because they were miserable; and the more you thought about it the more you felt sorry for those two women. They apparently had such a bleak outlook on things if they were going to take Jensen, who is an actor by trade, ACTING on stage for the crowd so seriously!

That’s not Jensen’s real personality, none of that is. It is all for the entertainment of the people that came to see them. Sure, there was some of his true personality mixed in there as well. There were moments when he’d get emotional, or when they would ask a question that hit home with him. 

He was human, just like everyone else. Being human means you're imperfect. Jensen, like everyone else, had his flaws, but “asshole” was not one of them. 

“Hey Princess, you ready to go head up to our room?” Jensen’s voice intruded on your inner grumbling as he slipped up behind you, and wrapped his arms around your middle.

As soon as the smell of his cologne surrounded you, your anxiety immediately started to fade away, and you leaned back into him, laying your head on his broad shoulder. 

You could feel the stares of the handlers that had just been talking so badly about him, but you ignored them. 

“Hey you, you don’t want to go get something to eat first?” you quested him, looking up into his piercing green eyes for a moment before he quickly brushed his lips over your own in what really wasn’t a kiss, but more of just a soft little touch that Jensen seemed to love to do when he thought no one was looking. 

“Not really, I just want to go upstairs and cuddle with my girl until I fall asleep,” he mumbled, completely ignoring all other people in the room. You knew the longer you both stood there like that, the more attention you will attract. You were sure there would be pictures later of this, but you didn’t care, and neither did Jensen. 

This was the real Jensen. Not some grumpy little smart ass on stage, though like everyone Jensen had his moments they were few and far between. 

He was the guy you always dreamed you’d find. So loving, and soft. He craved your affection and you craved his. You’d never get enough of him, of this.

You could tell that he was tired. It had been a long flight the night before with layovers due to weather, and then the time zone difference always was a bitch, plus he’d been working nonstop. If he wanted a little cuddle time, how could you deny him that? 

See, a relationship is more than just sex. I mean most everyone loves sex, and sex with Jensen was always absolutely phenomenal and mind-blowing. I mean come on, the man was 42 years old, sure, but he had the body of a damn Greek God; and he knew just how to use it. 

It was about the tender little touches. It was about the fact that even though he was tired, he wanted to take a shower with you, just to be closer to you. Just so he could take his time pampering you just a little while. It was in the way he held you so close to him as the water sprayed down over his broad back and shoulders, that you could feel his heartbeat through his well-sculpted chest while his finger traced lightly over the wet skin of your back. 

It was in the little kisses, and soft brushes of his lips against yours as you lay in the dark hotel room together, nothing between the two of you but skin. Slow, sweet. No needy hurry to get somewhere. Not all teeth and tongue. It was in the lazy way his lips moved slowly against your own, stealing away your breath as well as your heart.

It was in the way his hands barely moved over your skin while your hands brushed their way through his hair. His fingers played with little patterns that only he could see across the exposed skin of your shoulder. Every little touch made your heart feel like it could fly out of your chest, and flutter around the room. 

The way he looked at you. As if you were his everything, his entire world! He could have anyone, but he’d chosen you. 

Time like this, just time spent together. That’s what really felt like it drew you closer together. Connecting your very souls. Time falling asleep in each other's arms with his warm breath fanning over across your neck as his breathing became deeper and more even. You let your eyes wander over his freckle dusted skin. His face was soft, and his features relaxed, more relaxed right now than you’d seen him be in at least a week.

This was him, your Jay. The soft, loving, painfully handsome man that had the biggest heart you had ever seen in anyone. 

He was your rescue story, and he didn’t even know it. He saved you from yourself. He saved you from the self-loathing, and self-doubt, showing you that you were beautiful. He showed you that you could be strong and that you were special. You probably wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for him. 

So let those people think what they wanted too, they didn’t get to see what you saw. Your Jay, your world, your heart. Your rescue story.

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Forever Tags: @deanmonandnegansbitch​ @hayleeharling​ @flamencodiva​ @coldmuffinbanditshoe​ @bxbyizzy​ @rain-dance-goblin​ @itmejado​ @supernatural3002​ @deanwanddamons​ @rvgrsbrns​ @bi-danvers0​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @i-love-superhero​ @akshi8278​ @lyss-dw79​ @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624​ @busy-bee-angel-misska​ @justanotherwinchester​ @brilovesdeanwinchester​ @idksupernatural​ @lyarr24​ @amandamdiehl​ @love-jackles-37-blog​ @miraclesoflove​ @waywardsistershy​ @emoryhemsworth​ @dean-winchesters-gardian-angel​ @softsebastian​ @tatted-trina6​

[favefandomimagines]

Soul Surfer 11

AN: last chapter of soul surfer! this is the ‘epic’ finale and i hope you all like it! just wanna say a quick thank you to those who have been so invested in this story! it means so much that people actually like this! an epilogue is coming and then those little blurbs with violet and jj!

Again: rafe is not canon in this story!!!

Violet had driven her and JJ back to her house, after spending the night on the beach. Neither wanted to go home and Violet didn’t want hear the questions from all of her friends.

She knew sooner or later she was going to have to talk to her father about what she found out but she was ultimately trying to avoid that conversation.

The two teens stepped into the house and saw Nick and Violet’s father seated at the kitchen counter.

“Violet Elliot you scared the hell out of me! Where have you been?” Her dad lectured as he pulled her in to a bone crushing hug.

“I was uh, playing Nancy Drew.” She joked. Rob looked from his daughter then to JJ, hoping for some sort of explanation. “We found out that Vivienne was using Ward Cameron to get her parental rights back. All while committing fraud.” Violet explained. “What are you talking about?” Rob asked. 

Violet ran a hand through her hair as she sighed. “Mom told Ward that she was the heiress of an oil family, had loads of money and was going to make Ward a shareholder or something. So then he’d use his fancy lawyer and all his money to get her parental rights back.” She explained. 

“That explains a lot. She asked me to get her a fake ID once but I said no.” Nick interjected. “See? She’s literally a psycho, dad. Can we call the police?” Violet asked. “Vi, this is serious. Odds are Ward Cameron called the police the second you told him your mother stole money from him.” Rob said. 

The four were interrupted by the sound of a knock on the door. All heads turned towards the front door, everyone completely silent. “Violet, honey, I know you’re home.” Vivienne’s voice rang from the other side. 

Eyes fell on Violet as she clenched her jaw. “Violet, don’t.” Nick said. She marched towards the front door and opened it and if looks could kill Vivienne would be six feet under. 

“You have some nerve showing up here. After trying to take me away from my dad and make me break up with my boyfriend.” She snapped. “Violet, let me explain.” Vivienne said. “No. You don’t need to explain anything, Vivienne. I know the truth. You have been and always will be a terrible mother and you are going to jail.” Violet said. 

“You have no proof. You just overheard a boy who has a crush on you.” Vivienne rebutted. “I’m sure Ward has proof. And Rafe wants my forgiveness so I’m sure I can get some.” Violet countered. 

Rob walked closer to JJ and placed a hand on his shoulder. “How about you go back to your friends? Just in case this gets messy.” He said quietly. “But I-“ JJ started, not wanting to leave Violet.

“She’ll be okay, don’t worry.” Rob interrupted. JJ was hesitant at first but then nodded his head and slipped out the back door of the house.

—

It had been over a week since anyone had last spoken to Violet. Her and JJ’s last in person interaction had been the one at her house and no ones heard from her since. Except her and JJ frequently texted one another.

Of course there were rumors. Some say the FBI came to the house and arrested Vivienne on site. Others say Violet and her father packed up and moved again to get away from Vivienne.

But JJ didn’t believe that. He knew the truth. He was the only one who knew what was actually going on.

The Elliot’s finally went to court. The judge heard about Vivienne’s illegal attempt to get her daughter back and pushed up the court date.

Turns out Vivienne hadn’t been paying child support so she got felony charges as well as committing credit card fraud and tax fraud. Point was, she was going to the state prison for a very long time. And Rob got full and official custody of Violet.

But once that was over, Violet was free to return to her normal life with her friends.

JJ had the idea to throw a party at the Boneyard to celebrate the end of Vivienne’s reign of terror. No one knew why he had the sudden urge to party when his girlfriend was AWOL but John B thought it would help him feel better.

“I still don’t understand why we’re having a party when Violet’s basically missing.” Kiara commented as she helped carry kegs to the beach. “She’s not missing, trust me. I know where she is.” JJ replied.

“You’ve known where she’s been this entire time and you haven’t told us?” Pope questioned. “She told me not to until everything was sorted out.” JJ answered. “So that means everything is sorted out then?” Kiara asked. “Yeah. Hence the party. Don’t know if she’s going to be here but we’re going to celebrate for her.” JJ explained.

Though he knew Violet was going to be there but it was a surprise to everyone else. Mainly the Pogues.

Violet was back at home, getting herself ready for the party at the beach. “Well this is eerily familiar.” Ron commented, leaning against his daughter’s doorway.

“Except the devil incarnate isn’t here to ruin it.” Violet said. “You don’t have to worry about her anymore. So please try to live your life.” Rob told her. “I plan on it. We can go back to Sunday morning surf sessions, making banana pancakes on Saturday’s. All of our traditions. Especially now that Nick’s here.” Violet said.

Rob smiled at his daughter before placing a kiss on her forehead. “I’m proud of you, Vi. You haven’t had it easy and yet you still have that shocking amount of optimism.” He said. “I get it from you.” She said.

“Now go have fun, kiddo.” He told her. Violet smiled up at her father before exiting her bedroom and walking out of the house.

The party at the Boneyard was in full swing. People JJ didn’t even know were there but all he cared about was searching for Violet. “Who could you possibly be looking for?” John B asked his best friend. 

“Uh, just making sure Rafe and those Kooks don’t show up.” JJ lied. John B bought it in enough time to turn around when JJ spotted Violet. Though they were at a party, he wanted her all to himself. 

He slipped away from the group and made his way towards the brunette girl. The second he reached her, JJ wrapped his arms tightly around his girlfriend. Afraid that if he let she’d slip through his fingers again. 

“I missed you so much.” He said quietly. “I missed you too. Two weeks on the mainland was two weeks too long.” Violet said. “I love you, you know that?” JJ asked. “Yes. And I love you too.” She replied. 

Before she could mention the party, his lips were on hers in an instant. They both were touch starved and physical tough was definitely Violet’s love language and not being able to do that for so long, made her feel terrible. 

“Violet? Is that you?” Pope’s voice interrupted the two. “Remind me to kill Pope.” JJ said. Violet laughed at her blonde boyfriend before she was basically tackled by her friends. “Where the hell have you been? Do you know miserable Sarah and I were without you?” Kiara asked. 

“It’s a long story and I’ll explain later but now, we’re at a party so let’s just have fun.” Violet answered. 

And did her friends deliver. It had been a while since they were just able to have fun together without any drama getting in the way. 

Violet was having the best time and she didn’t think anything could ruin it. That was until she spotted Rafe walking on to the scene.

She still hadn’t had the courage to speak to him. And she didn’t even do anything wrong, it was all his doing. Yet there was no attempt from him to make things right between the two of them.

JJ followed his girlfriend’s gaze and spotted the Kook he hated across the beach. “I’ll be right back.” He announced. “JJ,” Violet started. “I’m just gonna talk to him. No fighting, I promise.” JJ said.

The girl gave him a skeptical look but let him go anyways.

“What are you doing here, Cameron?” JJ asked. “I wanted to apologize. I’ve been a dick and I’m not proud of my behavior. I’ve been clean for a while. I realized the coke made me act all crazy. That and wanting to please my dad. So I’m sorry.” Rafe answered.

“I don’t think I’m the one you need to apologize too. Violet defended you. A lot. Even when your own sister didn’t. And you screwed her over. If anyone deserves this apology, it’s her.” JJ replied. “She won’t talk to me.” Rafe rebutted. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but I will go get her for you. Just, don’t screw anything up.” The Pogue said.

Rafe gave him a grateful look before he went to go get Violet.

“Vi, come with me.” JJ instructed her. “Where are we going?” She asked. “Someone needs to talk to you.” He answered. “No, JJ, I don’t want to talk to him. He’s an ass.” Violet countered. “He’s trying to say he’s sorry for being an ass. I can’t believe I’m trying to convince someone that Rafe Cameron isn’t a dick.” JJ told her.

Violet looked from her boyfriend to Rafe before groaning. “Fine.” She said. “Five minutes. That’s all you get, Cameron.” JJ added before walking away.

“What did you want to say?” Violet asked. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wanted my dad’s approval so much that I didn’t think about how much it would hurt you. If I’m being honest, I liked you. I liked you a lot and I saw my chance to get you and I took it. I was selfish thinking that money was more important than that. I’ve been clean since that night. And I know I don’t deserve to even be your friend but if you’d let me, I’d like to try.” Rafe explained.

Violet was quiet for a moment, feeling a sense of deja vu as Rafe stood in front of her.

“How many times have we been here, Rafe? I’d say this is your third attempt at an apology. And you hurt me and the people I love the first two times. How can I trust you’re not going to do it again?” She questioned.

“This time, I promise you, I won’t mess it up. Not again.” He said. Again, she went quiet. “Okay. I forgive you, Rafe. Please don’t make me regret it.” Violet finally said.

Violet could see Rafe’s shoulder fall in relief at her words.

“Okay, your five minutes is up. Violet, let’s go.” JJ interrupted. “Can Rafe join us? He also needs to apologize to everyone else.” She asked her boyfriend.

JJ was hesitant for a moment. But if Rafe didn’t even try to pick a fight with him, why shouldn’t he give him a chance?

He nodded his head before turning to Rafe. “You try to take her from me and I will kill you.” He threatened. “I just want to be friends. That’s it.” Rafe said.

The Pogues were skeptical at first. Forgiving Rafe and being ‘friends’ with him didn’t seem like something they could do. Sarah was on board with it. She had noticed a change in her older brother after what went down with him and Violet. Violet was making him a better person and for that Sarah was grateful.

It was going to take multiple trial runs for Rafe to be redeemed in the rest of their eyes. But they figured an apology was a good start.

—

The party was well over and JJ and Violet were laying on her balcony, staring up at the stars.

Violet was pointing out the different constellations she knew, thinking that JJ was actually listening to her. But he was caught up in his own world as he looked at her.

“What are you staring at?” Violet laughed. “You. How beautiful you are and I don’t know how the hell you agreed to be with me.” He answered.

“Do you wanna know why?” She asked. JJ furrowed his eyebrows but nodded. He wasn’t expecting her to actually tell him. “Because you feel like home. I feel safe and content when I’m with you. Like nothing bad can happen to me when I’m with you.” Violet said.

JJ couldn’t really find the words to reply to her so he leaned forward and kissed her gently. They had a lot of time to make up for but were stopped by the sound of Violet’s dad’s voice.

“Dad entering the room, please stop whatever you’re doing.” Rob announced. JJ closed his eyes momentarily, at the second time him and Violet were interrupted.

“What’s up dad?” Violet asked, sitting up. “I’ve been doing some thinking. Since JJ spends almost every night here anyways, I redid the guest room for him.” Rob started.

Violet and JJ exchanged a look, neither aware to the fact Rob knew JJ had been sneaking into Violet’s room.

“I don’t know why you can’t stay at home or why you sneak in at ungodly hours and you don’t have to tell me but now, JJ, you’ll always have a place here. And you can stop sleeping in my daughter’s room.” He finished.

“Now no funny business. I’m too young to be a grandfather.” He joked before leaving the room.

The couple looked at each before Violet let out a small chuckle. “Looks like you don’t need to stay at John B’s anymore.” She said. “I can’t believe your dad actually offered me the guest room.” JJ said.

“He has a feeling something is going on at home but he doesn’t want to push or pry. You’ll tell him when you feel like you need to. He just wants you to have a safe place.” Violet said.

“Your dad likes me that much?” JJ laughed. “Yes, believe it or not he does.” The girl next to him replied. “Well thank god I treat his daughter so well.” JJ teased.

JJ felt at ease in that moment. Understanding what Violet said about feeling safe with the other person. Feeling as if nothing can touch him as long as he was with her. He was at peace with himself.

Being with her as she quickly pointed out more stars and constellations and telling what planet was where. It was a perfect moment for him.

A perfect moment for the boy who hasn’t had an ounce of peace in years.

Tag list: @hockeyschmockey​ @allie-mcginn​​ @sexualparkour @k-k0129 @iamaunicorn4704 @milamaybank @jj-maybabe @diverrdown @sweetwatermelonsugar @alexa-playafricabytoto @aaleksmorozova @fandom-phaser @princessmugglecup @infinityspaceuniverse @teamnick​ @srirachabi @starxdame @holadrxrry @belledutchess @floridabornandraised @x-lulu​ @hopelesswritingxd @prettyboyspence @junkiemuppettxx @shawnssongs @jeyramarie @miliefayy @rudths @y0ungandfuckingdumb @xealia @hotel-colson @bubblesam06 @outrbank @thebendslikebendover @wasted-on-5sos @booksandshish @drizzlethatfalls @runway-to-my-aid @never-ever-too-many-fandoms @xlittlemissydjx @strawberryblondies @simonsbluee @httpstarkey @kylable @kaitieskidmore1​ @perkeusjackson​ @jjmaybankwildtimes​ 

[wolf-and-bard]

All The Way Down

Pairing: Geralt/Eskel

Word Count: 1.6k

Rating: Teen and Up.

Notes: No warnings (though one mention of blood.) Named after the song by Biffy Clyro. Will also post on AO3. Enjoy! :)

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In every cohort he trains, Vesemir is bound to pick favourites. It isn't something he tries to actively do nor avoid, it is a whim of human nature, something the mutations haven't touched. They may have even enhanced it, his compassion for the younger ones that expresses itself in rigorous instruction and knowledge for treats. In practice it doesn’t matter how or why, it doesn’t matter who. He’s long accepted it.

With every handful of favourites, comes a knot of anxiety at sending them off on the Path for the first time. Usually, they are the most ambitious and skilled of the bunch and Vesemir isn't worried for their survival, it's just that the brightest tend to carry the heaviest burdens too. This trend is something he first noticed with himself and his friends (of which none now live) and it wove through the generations like an invisible thread. With the two witchers he is most apprehensive to let go this year, the matter is more complicated though.

Eskel is dutiful, honour-bound, does not mourn his earlier life. Geralt is idealistic, determined and, with twice the mutations, eerily deathly. They are the prime of their cohort and will represent the school well. Vesemir is afeared nonetheless because there has been one thing both have never managed to go without: each other. Not a day has passed that the two have not spend adjoined by the hip. In training, in meditation, in class, in sleep. They do not seem concerned at the prospect of separation, but Vesemir knows them better than they yet know themselves. They will suffer for it and badly.

Alas, there is little he can give them other than the instincts he drilled into their bone matter, a few well-meant words of advice. And then they are off and he waits for winter to call them back home.

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Geralt is not a month from Kaer Morhen when his sword first meets a foe. He comes upon a group of bandits that hold a girl and her father, one of them trying to get up her dress. No monster bred by magic or mutation in sight, but one constructed from hatred and lust. Geralt intervenes. It feels grand and heroic and right. He knows this isn't the kind of altruism he was raised towards, can hear Vesemir's gentle chiding in his mind, but he feels called out, called by Destiny perhaps.

"Time for you to meet a real man," the swine spits at the girl.

"Time for you to meet a real man," Geralt replies with a growl and ends the man’s miserable existence. He thinks himself terribly witty. Eskel would have laughed his ass off.

As Geralt wipes specks of blood and vomit from his cheeks, the other bandits flee, so does the girl's father. Geralt wants to help her up, but she scrambles away from him, faints. And being a hero is the last thing on Geralt's mind. He ploughs on, dives head-first into what will prove to be the hardest year of his life to date. It's ugly all the way down.

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Eskel walks through his first year as if through a story plucked straight from the codices, bestiaries and journals in Kaer Morhen’s library. It is contract, haggle, monster, coin, rinse and repeat. No hitches, no trip-ups. No angry mobs that try to trick him out of his money, no prejudiced villagers that come after him with stakes and torches. Lords invite him to dine at their table, prostitutes accept him into their beds, children ask him to play chase with him. Eskel finds himself with a grin that doesn’t waver.  He is the hero he and Geralt promised each other to be.

But he isn't stupid, he knows it won’t always be this breezy, this noble and proper. The scars and horrors will find him because there is no routine for witchers, no job security, no bright future. His shoulders are light when he treads the path up to Kaer Morhen, his head empty. Eskel grin has eased into a smile of easy anticipation and it's only when he arrives in the keep and Geralt isn't there that he understands that the year hasn't been easy at all. He's just been outstanding in his denial.

"It may not be unusual for a witcher not to return," Vesemir says under his breath which puffs between them and Eskel rubs his own biceps, bare, sweaty from a brawling tournament he held with his other brothers. “But it just doesn’t happen with first-years. And Geralt, he-“

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Geralt is late and Vesemir finds himself prowling the battlements even when the others tell him there's no chance he will make it up the passes now that the snow has started to fall and, anyway, it's not unusual for a witcher not to return. Eskel is with him most days and they keep waiting.

“Will be fine,” Eskel cuts in and Vesemir catches his gaze. The young wolf will accept no other truth. So Vesemir trusts.

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At the end of the bridge, half-veiled by the shadow the archway throws, stands a young witcher with a wobbly smile and open arms. Geralt drops his pack and sinks into them without hesitation. From then on, a cascade of dry sobs loosens inside of his chest and burst forth to die against the skin of Eskel’s neck. Eskel holds him. And holds him. And holds him.

“Esk,” Geralt rasps at last. There are so many words he wants to say. I’m sorry, I needed you, I need you, I hated every day without you. What comes out is something else entirely. “I failed.”

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Later, when Geralt is bathed and fed, acknowledged by his peers and lectured by Vesemir on the perilous journey up the mountain this late into the year, they sit in front of the fire. Geralt’s tucked into Eskel’s embrace once more and though the flames spew heat and Eskel is all around him, his teeth still chatter. He suspects the cold will be slow to dissolve, will cling sticky and viscose like resin to his limbs until Eskel’s done enough rubbing it off. He tries to meld with Eskel’s body, but to no avail, at least not until they talked. Neither of them has ever been big on starting conversations and yet, there is no need to prompt Eskel. Even spending the last months apart, they still know each other, inside and out.

Geralt drags himself over the bridge more than walking across it. The sheen of ice that encloses the wooden planks sing under his heavy bootfalls, cracks and splinters and hums a song of welcome Geralt has been waiting all year to hear. He got waylaid by a nasty basilisk bite that had him sleep in a thicket for a week straight and when he opened his eyes, the frost was already being chased by snow. But he is here now. Kaer Morhen looms proudly, glittering under a wintry sun and from inside, smoke and laughter pour into the hostile mountain atmosphere.

“I don’t mind the work part so much,” Eskel says and Geralt neither agrees nor disagrees. His sample is spoiled, he knows only one thing about the Path for sure and he waits for Eskel to arrive at that crucial point. “I really don’t, it’s what we were made for.” He lets that hang for a bit, threading his fingers through Geralt’s hair again, and again until the tangles dissolve and with them the bitter taste on Geralt’s tongue. Eskel sighs and his grip tightens and yes, Geralt thinks, yes, this is what’s been missing – not that he didn’t have some inkling all along – the comfort and warmth and steady brick wall that is Eskel wrapped around him in a cocoon of affection. More of that than either of them could ever feel for his other contemporaries.  

“But?” he rasps and Eskel stiffens when Geralt lets his lips brush against his neck. Relaxes again, his own lips tracing Geralt’s part.

“But I mind your absence. It wasn’t until very late that I understood how much. I thought it would pass, this pull we feel, thought it would flatten out. I thought the winters would suffice.”

“They won’t,” Geralt says simply.

“No, I don’t think they will,” Eskel replies, some melancholy tinging his tone. “But we’ve drawn our lots.”

“Destiny drew them for us.”

“Doesn’t matter now.” Eskel’s hand wanders, and his fingers catch Geralt’s chin, beckoning him away from his neck and to an angle that has them face each other. “The point is the winters have to suffice. I’d rather be a witcher and have you for one season than not know you at all.”

Geralt feels himself splinter apart under Eskel’s eyes. They bore into his soul and lay bare all his shortcomings and missteps. Surely, his brother must see them. Surely, he must judge.

“I’m not good,” Geralt says. The words are off-kilter and fall into the steadily dwindling space between their lips.

“Don’t tell me the Path has made you self-aware,” Eskel snorts and a smile tugs on his mouth. “I know what you are and what you are not.”

“I promised you to be good.”

“Then be good to me,” Eskel murmurs and closes the gap with a feathery press of his lips that Geralt leans into immediately. Geralt’s lids flutter when they part and they remain close so that either needs but to tilt his head to reconnect. Turns out, he was wrong. The ice on his limbs just evaporated.

“That would be enough?” he asks.

“It would.”

[hopelikethemoon]

all ours (Javier x Reader)

Title: all ours  Rating: PG-13 Length: 3.2K Warnings: Angst, pregnancy stuff (braxton hix), and fluff. Notes: Set in the maybe today, maybe forever universe, shortly before Josie is born.   Taglist: @grapemama​  @seawhisperer​​ @huliabitch​​ @pedropascalito​​ @rogrsnbarnes​ @thewallpapergoesorido​​ @twomoonstwosuns​​ @gooddaykate​​ @livasaurasrex​​ @ham4arrow​​ @hiscyarika​ @plexflexico​ @readsalot73​ @hdlynn​ @lokiaddicted​

Javier was snoring beside you, not frustratingly loud snoring, but rather the sort of snoring that just made you envious that he could sleep. And peacefully. You missed sleep.  You missed a lot of things that came with not being pregnant. You missed being able to sleep on your side, you missed beer, you missed seeing your feet, you missed wearing clothes that weren’t made like sacks, and you even missed sex. Despite the occasional passing desire, you had been far too miserable the past month to summon the energy to enjoy anything related to sex. 

You missed a lot of things that came with not being pregnant. You missed being able to sleep on your side, you missed beer, you missed seeing your feet, you missed wearing clothes that weren’t made like sacks, and you even missed sex. Despite the occasional passing desire, you had been far too miserable the past month to summon the energy to enjoy anything related to sex. 

You winced as the baby’s foot once again found your bladder. You readjusted and sighed heavily as you tried to find a position that didn’t put pressure on your back. Everything hurt. All the time. 

You rubbed your hand over your swollen belly, trying to soothe the baby back to sleep. You just needed an hour of sleep. One hour and you could function like a human tomorrow. 

Javier stirred beside you, his foot brushed against yours as he stretched out before he rolled over to face you. “Why are you still awake?”

 “Your baby is rambunctious tonight.” You complained, bunching your pillow up under your head as you settled. “If you can’t sleep, the sofa isn't terrible.”

 Javier arched a brow at you, “I’m not sleeping on the sofa.” He grumbled, shaking his head slowly as he reached out to rest his palm on your stomach, running his fingers over your skin. “You need to settle down little girl, your mommy is trying to sleep.”

Javier threw back his covers and moved to lay down beside your stomach. He propped himself up on one elbow, his other hand still resting against your belly right where the baby was kicking. “Does it hurt?” 

 You pursed your lips and shrugged. “It’s uncomfortable, mostly.” You reached down and lazily played with his hair. “You should go back to sleep, Javi. You’ve got the meeting at the embassy tomorrow.”

 “I’m fine.” Javier promised you as he pressed a kiss to your stomach, before his gaze lifted to yours. “Did you put the cocoa butter back in the bathroom?” 

 “Yeah.” You stifled an exhausted yawn as Javier climbed out of the bed. “What are you doing?”

 He walked around to your side of the bed, his expression still soft and warm from the sleep he was pulled from. “Just relax, baby.” He whispered, leaning down to kiss you. “I’ve got you.”

 Javier returned a few minutes later with the tub of cocoa butter you used on your stretch marks. He turned his bedside lamp on, the room now lit in soft golden hues as he joined you in bed again. 

“Javi.”

“Let me do this for you.” 

Javier shot you a look as he unscrewed the cocoa butter container, sitting the lid aside on the bedside table. He sat the tub down on the comforter as he leaned over to push your tank top out of his way. He ran his fingers over your rounded stomach, with an adoration in his eyes that made your heart flutter. 

You grabbed another pillow and stuffed it behind you, propping yourself up enough to watch him. He dipped two fingers into the butter, scooping up a decent amount and smearing it into his other palm. He dabbed up a little, smearing it over the curve of your stomach. The cocoa butter was cool at the first touch, enough so that a little shiver of delight went through you. But Javier’s touch warmed the chill away, sensing a different type of contentment through you. 

“Do you like that?” He questioned, a grin tugging at his lips as he met your heated gaze. 

“Yeah.” You whispered with a weary smile as your lashes fluttered.  You sank back into your pillows and let yourself get lost in the sensation. 

 “You need sleep too,” Javier whispered as he leaned down to press a kiss to your stomach. 

His hands curled around the sides of your stomach, fingertips drawing tiny patterns into your skin as he applied the cocoa butter. It was the most entrancing sensation, soothing away the stress and tension that you’d carried with you all week. 

His touch didn’t just comfort you — the baby seemed to calm beneath his hands, her swift kicks transforming into the faint flutters of movement. 

You relaxed, letting your eyes slip closed as you focused on the shapes he drew with the butter. They reminded you of the ones he always drew against your thigh. “This is better than sex,” You muttered as you gave into the pull of sleep. 

  ——

  It was unfair how good Javier Peña looked in a suit. Especially when he was just this side of being pissed off after a meeting with the Embassy. They were riding his ass about overspending this quarter, which wasn’t a surprise considering how the mission had been going. The Cali Cartel weren’t as easy to crack down on. 

You had the perfect vantage point from your desk, looking straight through into the glass wall of the conference room where Javier sat getting his ass handed to him. 

But you couldn’t keep staring at him, not without Chris or Daniel getting suspicious. You loaded a new piece of paper into the typewriter, before you got up from your desk to retrieve a file from one of the banker boxes that sat on Javier’s desk. 

You took a step and grimaced, a faint cramp playing across the front of your stomach. You hesitated, rubbing your stomach cautiously. “Shit.” You breathed out. 

You ignored the sensation, reaching for the box and pulling the lid off. 

The pain returned, more severe this time. It felt like a rubberband drawn across your stomach, followed by a short contraction. 

No. No. No. 

Your eyes flickered towards the conference room, hoping to catch Javier’s attention, but he was fuming over something that had been said to him. 

Focused on your breathing, you returned to your desk to snatch up your purse. “I’ll be back.” You offered in response Chris' curious look, before you headed straight for the elevator. 

Contractions.  

You were having contractions and Javier was trapped in a pointless meeting. 

By the time you got down to your car your hands were trembling, your keys shaking between your fingers as you tried to unlock your car. It took you three tries before you slotted the key into the lock. 

You hadn’t felt the sensation again since you started walking. The twinge of pain that had come with the strange cramp was still there, but not nearly as insistent as it first was. 

You drew in a shaky breath as you settled into the driver’s seat, starting up the car to turn the radio on low. You weren’t going to go to the hospital just yet. If they were contractions, they were far enough apart that you didn’t need to rush. 

There wasn’t even a plan. 

You had meant to discuss it with Javier, but it just hadn’t happened yet. 

What would happen when the baby was born?

Would you just drive yourself to the hospital?

Handle everything alone?

Would Javier sit at work and pretend he didn’t care? 

With each passing day, things seemed bleaker. You were impressed is it was that you’d managed to be with Javier for nearly half a year. The years of being his partner seemed like training for spending days-in and days-out with him. Your personalities clashed frequently, too similar in your rationale to let it fester for long. 

Your entire relationship was nothing more than stolen moments, late night conversations, and a deep seated need to make it work. Together. It isn’t easy. The path forward is a difficult one. 

Would it always be like that?

You inhaled sharply as another burst of tension shot across the front of your stomach, a faint flutter of a contraction making you grit your teeth. 

Not now. Please not now. 

You startled at the sound of someone tapping at your car window, pulled out of your focused breathing. 

It’s Javi. 

You cranked the window down, shutting off the radio. “What are you doing out here?”

He tapped the bottom of a pack of cigarettes in the palm of his hand. “Smoke break.” Javier said, clicking his tongue against his teeth. 

“Oh.”

Javier pulled  a cigarette out of the pack, clenching it between his lips as he tucks them back into his breast pocket. “Chris said you left abruptly.” He glanced around the parking lot warily, pulling his aviators down to peer in the window at you. “You good?”

You swallowed thickly and turned your gaze out the windshield. “I thought I was having contractions.”

“Shit.” He clicked the lighter off, not bothering to light his cigarette. “I’m taking my fifteen in your car, unlock it.”

Javier tucked his aviators into the front of his shirt, walking around the front of your car to slide into your passenger seat. “Javi, it’s fine. Go back inside.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit.” Javier spit out as he turned to face you. “What’s wrong?”

“I told you, I thought I was having contractions… I’m fine.” You ran your hand over your stomach, breathing in shakily. “It was just a twinge of pain. It’s fine.”

His eyes flickered around the parking lot cautiously, before he reached over and stroked your stomach. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”

You shook your head. “No. I’m fine.” Against better judgment, you rested your hand over his. It was risky, considering you were sitting in the middle of the parking lot in broad daylight. “It’s going to be okay, Javi.”

“Scared the shit out of me.” Javier remarked as his fingers spread out over your stomach. “I looked up during the meeting and saw you were gone.” 

“I could’ve been in the bathroom.”

“Chris made some smartass comment about you leaving the office.” Javier slid his hand out from under yours so he could wrap his fingers around it. 

“You can’t do this here, Javi.” You warned, twisting your hand out of his grasp. “I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

Javier reeled his hand back in like you had struck him and the look on his face stings. “So, what? You just want me to head back inside and pretend that you’re not potentially going into labor?” He scoffed and stuck the cigarette back in his mouth, clamping his lips down around it as he stared out the window. “Unbelievable.” 

“I’m not going into labor.” You retorted. “These things happen.” You rubbed at your eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I’m fine, I promise you. If something happens, I’ll page you.”

“Partners are allowed to give a shit.” He snapped. “No one is going to be suspicious of me taking a smoke break in your car. No one gives a fuck if I care about you giving birth. We’re fucking friends.”

“I know.” You pinched the bridge of your nose and exhaled. “I don’t want to lose my job, Javi. I’m already on thin ice because I’m pregnant, I don’t need our secret to ruin my entire career.” 

Javier’s jaw clenched tightly as he glared out the windshield, “This is bullshit.” He pulled the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, forcing the one he’d pulled out back into the carton. “No one batted a goddamn eye when we hung out before. You, me, Steve… knocking back drinks after work. Now I so much as look in your direction and you’re convinced our cover’s been blown.” 

“Javier.” You snapped, rubbing your hand over your face as you tried to keep your ire under control. “Do you have any idea how fucking stressful this is for me? I walk into work every morning expecting to get handed the pink slip. I am trying to keep the focus off of me.” 

He dragged his fingers through his hair, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I hate this.” 

“Me too.” You bit down on your bottom lip as you watched him. “It’s not the ideal situation, but it’s the best we can do. If I get fired, immigration will terminate my visa and I’ll have to go back to the states.” Hesitantly you reached across the center console and took his hand into yours. Even if someone walked by, you figured they wouldn’t be able to see where your hand was. “And I don’t think either of us want that.” 

Javier shook his head slowly. “No.” He squeezed your hand tightly, interlacing his fingers with yours. He pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, his eyes still focused straight ahead. “Can I come over tonight?”

“I’d be offended if you didn’t.” You retorted, trying to make light of the tension between you. 

His lips twitched into a faint smile and he glanced at you out of the corner of his eyes, “I”m sorry.”

“Don’t.” You squeezed his hand.

“No, baby. I was a jackass.” Javier rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand. “This situation is fucking bullshit.” He turned to look out the window beside him. “But you’ve got it worse. Shit, you got all of three hours of sleep last night.” 

You chuckled softly, “ I was only anticipating one hour.” You tensed as you spotted a pair of agents walking through the parking lot. You quickly released your hold on Javier’s hand, playing with the radio. 

“I should probably head back inside,” Javier said reluctantly, raking his fingers through his hair. “You’re sure you’re okay?” 

You nodded and assured him, “I haven’t felt the cramping again. I think I’m going to go rest.” You ran your hand over your stomach, smiling when you felt the faint press of the baby’s hand or foot. “I’ll see you tonight.” 

Javier reached over and rested his palm against your belly, “I’ll see you both at home.” He told you with a serious tone, before he pushed the car door open and headed back into the office. 

Home. 

Your brows furrowed as you considered the word. 

You couldn’t remember hearing him refer to your apartment as home before. Sure, he spent more nights in your bed, than he did his own. When he picked up groceries, they usually ended up in your refrigerator, except for the beer that went back to his. Hell, he even kept a suit alongside his spare clothes in your hall closet. 

He had all but moved into your apartment. 

For someone who had been so nervous about whether Javier could settle down, you’d somehow overlooked the fact that he had. A year ago you wouldn’t have believed that Javi was the type of guy who would stay up to rub cocoa butter over your skin. Or the type of guy to just… move in. You had been convinced that you knew him well. Somehow you’d missed that all of the bravado, the charm, the long list of one night fucks were just a mask. 

Javier had fallen into this pattern of domesticity with surprising ease. 

You knew it wasn’t easy for him either. He couldn’t truly savor the experience of becoming a father. He had to swallow his pride when Chris made snide comments while theorizing who the father was. He had to look at a photo of your sonogram, rather than sit beside you in the room. You knew he wanted more. You could see it in the way his gaze got distant when you discussed your appointments or the way he’d find a reason to touch you throughout the workday. 

He wanted to be a father, to be a lover, to be a partner, to be more than a cog in the DEA’s wheel. 

  ——

  “Javi, do you think you could drive me to my appointment on Monday?” You questioned as you reclined back on the sofa, watching Javier as he tried to put the baby’s crib together. The pieces were scattered across the floor, with seemingly far too many pieces for one solitary crib. He kept swearing under his breath and glaring at the instructions. 

“Yeah.” Javier glanced up at you. “It should only take about an hour, right?” 

You nodded, “And there’s no reason for you to stay in the car.”

His jaw tensed as he exhaled through his nose. “You want me to go in with you?” 

“I would.” 

“Baby—” 

“I want you to come in with me.” You said firmly, giving him no room to argue with you. “I know how badly you want to see the sonogram.” 

Javier pushed his fingers through his hair, dragging his hand down over the back of his neck as he sat back on his ass. He propped a leg up, resting his elbow against his knee as he stared at you. “I’ve got that print out stuck to my bathroom mirror.” 

You smiled adoringly at him, “Of course you do.” Carefully you sat up, tucking a pillow behind your back. “I was thinking about yesterday,” You started and you caught the way his expression faltered. “I’m aware that this—” You gestured between the two of you, “Has been one sided.” 

He scratched at his jaw and shrugged, though his eyes flickered towards the ground. “You’re the one doing all the work.” Javier’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he kept his gaze low. “I’m not trying to push this.” 

“Javi, I’ve kept you at an arm’s length and it’s okay for you to be pissed about it.” 

“I’m not pissed.” He ground out, shaking his head. “I’m not gonna pretend I sat around thinking about having kids someday.” Javier ran his tongue over his teeth and sighed. “Because I didn’t. But I always thought I’d have one twice as hard to handle as I was for my pops.” He grabbed onto the edge of the coffee table as he pulled himself up off the floor. 

You patted the sofa beside you, your other hand resting against the curve of your stomach. You kept your eyes fixed to his face, brows furrowed together as you studied his expression. “It’ll get easier once she’s born.” You promised and you hoped that was true. 

“Will it?” He sighed as he sank down onto the sofa beside you, propping one foot up on the coffee table in front of him. 

“I want you here.” You reached out and took his hand into yours. “Despite the fact that you hog the covers, I’ve gotten used to you sleeping in my bed.” 

Javier huffed a short laugh. “I have too.” 

“I wish it could be different,” You said quietly. “I know you want more.” 

“I don’t want more.” Javier flexed his jaw. “I just want something. Anything.” 

You lifted his hand to your lips, kissing each knuckle. “I know.” You whispered as he leaned close and brushed his lips against your temple. “That’s why I want you there on Monday. It’s my last sonogram before we get into the homestretch. You belong there with me.” 

Javier’s shoulders relaxed, “Thank you.” 

“Don’t thank me, it’s just the truth.” You reached out to cup his cheek, drawing him close so you could kiss him. “I know at work this baby’s just mine, but it’s yours too.” 

“It’s ours.” Javi corrected you. “She’s all ours.” 

[yourfaceislikeabluemoon]

So Good to Me

Words: 9.3K

Warning: Mentions of alcohol, heavy drinking, drunkenness, mention of piss play (just banter, nothing actually happens), handjobs, voyeurism, exhibitionism, unmentioned but obvious praise kink, Binnie is a subby baby boy, blowjob, ass play and fingering (male receiving), oral and fingering (gender neutral receiving), no condom (condoms are boring in smut but, as always, Practice Safe Sex!).

A/N: hey, I’m back with another self-indulgent fic, surprise surprise! it’s my ult of ults birthday so imma do what I want, leave me alone! but uh yeah, here’s some subby baby boy Binnie to get you through your day ;) and the biggest ‘Happy Birthday’ to the boy that ultimately has my heart ❤❤❤❤❤ I love you to the moon and back, darling! oki, you can enjoy now hehe

My Koala 🐨💛: We're going out tonight

You: "Out" as in out to a club to drink and dance until the wee hours of the morning?

My Koala 🐨💛: What else would I mean??

My Koala 🐨💛: I can feel you rolling your eyes… what?

You: It's just...do you want to wake up with a hangover on your birthday?

My Koala 🐨💛: Eh, I'll be fine. We're all chilling tomorrow anyway, so I'll be close to aspirin and something to puke in at all times. It's a win-win!!

You: If you say so!

My Koala 🐨💛: I do say so.

My Koala 🐨💛: Why do you keep rolling your eyes at me?? 😤

You: Lol you have some kind of sixth sense or something?

My Koala 🐨💛: Yes one especially for eye-rolling

My Koala 🐨💛: Now be here at eight sharp, or we're leaving without youuuu

You: Leaving without me, my ass! Half of y'all won't even be ready by eight sharp! I'd bet money on it, but I'm not going to on the off chance I lose because I am not paying you on your birthday or the day before for that matter!

My Koala 🐨💛: Would you pay me if I gave you a lap dance?? 👀👀👀

You: WTF why am I even friends with you?! 😂😂😂

My Koala 🐨💛: Shut up you love me 😏

You: mhmm see you at 8

Cheeks burning at Changbin's blatant offer, you locked your phone and went to your closet to search for an outfit for the evening. The image in your head was far from innocent which somehow ended up influencing the articles of clothing you pulled out, a rather raunchy ensemble laid out on your bed only moments later. 

Good grief, it's like I'm applying for a job as a stripper at the club! What has gotten into me?! 

Shaking the thoughts from your head, you quickly shoved the offending materials onto the floor and restarted your search. After all, you were just going out with your friends to celebrate your best friend's birthday. No one was setting out to get laid or go home with anyone. Just good, clean (lol not) fun with friends! Nothing to worry about.

The outfit you ended up with was much more modest and less *cough* suggestive than what had originally laid out on your bed. You still felt and looked good, which, like the gentlemen they are, the boys were happy to shower you with compliments when you arrived at the dorm at 8 on the dot. Surprisingly, all but Felix and Jisung were ready to head out when you got there — something about Felix trying to perfect his makeup and Jisung not being able to find the particular pair of jeans he swore he just had to wear. He must have found them faster than expected because moments after you showed up, he ran out of his room screaming "Let's go! I wanna go get druuuuunk!" You shook your head and couldn't help but laugh when you noticed Chan's almost pained expression.

"Wait for me!" A quiet, sing-song floated from the bathroom before Felix strutted into the living room where everyone was gathered. He gasped and scurried over to you, making you twirl for him while he fawned over you, "You look amazing! I love your hair like that, it shows off your features so well!"

 "Me?" You practically yelled, "Lixie, you look stunning! I should've had you do my makeup!" His cheeks rosied as you pouted slightly, a bashful smile curving his tinted lips.

"Next time! Besides, you don't need it one bit!" He booped your nose gently as he offered you the hidden compliment, and you scoffed before giggling sweetly. 

"Oh, and you do?" You retaliated, adjusting a strand of his hair before softly tracing your fingertips over one of his cheekbones, marveling at his smooth skin and precious freckles, "I love when you let your constellations shine. You're so pretty, Lixie!" The small amount of blush Felix had applied to his cheeks only served to make his natural flush more evident. He shied away from your hand as you both giggled together.

 "Alright, lovebirds!" Jisung shouted as he ushered Felix toward the door, "We've got a club to get to!"

 "And a birthday to celebrate!" You added in, turning your attention to Changbin to jump on his back unexpectedly, "Hey there, birthday boy!" You softened your voice so as not to scream in his ear, and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek as he chuckled and gripped your legs to properly carry you. "Let's go!" You pumped your fist toward the door and cheers erupted from your little group as you set out for the night.

Starting off the night with multiple rounds of shots the moment you stepped foot into the club might not have been the best idea, but apparently some of the boys needed to loosen up before you all huddled together on the dance floor and jumped around enthusiastically to the pounding music that filled the stuffy room. Eventually, mini groups and duos broke off to dance separately and you soon found yourself moving to the beat with Felix's hands resting on your hips and your arms draped over his shoulders, giggling together under the strobe lights.

A few songs passed and you felt a pair of eyes burning a hole in the back of your head. "I'm not sure if it's the lights or not but Bin is looking a little green…" Felix suddenly joked, laughing lightly. He noticed the concern wash over your face as you worried about your best friend getting sick so early on and swiftly quelled your fears, "Green with envy." He clarified. Your eyes widened comically at his statement and you couldn’t hide your surprise. 

“Binnie's jealous? Of who?" He chuckled and shook his head, leaning forward to mumble in your ear. 

"Why don't you go ask him yourself?" The wink he gave you when he pulled back was what really caught you off guard. Everyone knew that your close friendship with Felix was strictly platonic, or at least you thought everyone knew. On the other hand, your minor (read: major) crush on Changbin wasn't common knowledge, or at least you hoped it wasn't, but by the look in Felix's eyes, something told you that you hadn't kept your secret well enough concealed. Instead of completely giving yourself away, you shrugged as nonchalantly as you could and muttered something about getting another drink before heading off, directly towards Changbin, who just so happened to be on your way to the bar.

 "Binnie! I'm gonna get another drink! Come with me!" The expression on his face was sour but it softened dramatically when you cutely tugged on his arm. He didn't have a chance to protest before you were yanking him along with you. Finding a space at the bar, Bin stood next to you as you hopped up on an empty stool and waved the bartender over. You ordered something strong but refreshing since the packed bodies caused the humidity inside the building to be sky-high, while Changbin got a refill on his own drink, "You didn't think I was going to spend the whole night dancing with Lix, did you?" You teased your best friend when you noticed he was a little more sulky than usual.

 "You," he paused and switched his weight to the opposite foot. "You looked like you were having fun."

"We were! But I got thirsty!" You hummed in response, while reaching for your drink. Holding up your glass, the liquid swirled gently, ice cubes tinkling sharply. "Not to mention, I wanted to see what the birthday boy was up to. I was missing my best friend a little, too, if I'm being honest." Changbin glanced up from where he had been staring into his glass, cheeks tinged pink and a smile slowly growing on his face. 

“Missing your best friend, huh?"

"Yeah, have you seen him around? I saw a guy that looked like him, but he was far too sulky to be my best friend." You teased once more, snickering into your cup when Changbin immediately pouted. His face fell minutely and you quickly set your glass down on the bartop to take one of his hands in yours, "Oh, honey! Are you really not having a good time? We can always go home and watch movies and stuff ourselves with junk food if you'd rather do that. I don't want the birthday boy to be miserable!" You paused as Bin stared at you wide-eyed, mouth parted like he wanted to say something; when he didn't speak, you reached up to brush a few strands of hair out of his eyes and continued, "I want my best friend to have the time of his life." 

“As long as I'm with you, I'm happy." Changbin's eyes were noticeably glassy and his smile soft. Heart fluttering a bit more wildly in your chest, you squeezed his hand. 

"Are you sure you don't want to go home, Binnie? Whatever you want." He shook his head and smiled wider. 

"Wanna stay here with you."

"In that case…” Your eyes glinted mischievously as you stood from your seat, "Dance with me." Changbin let himself be easily pulled along back towards the dance floor. Obvious and visible to everyone but you, he stumbled behind you like a puppy following his owner. 

You drew him in close when you reached the center of the dance floor, laying the hand you held on your hip and guiding his other hand to your opposite side. He instinctively tugged you tighter into himself and you giggled as he began to mindlessly move with the music. Throwing your head back, you let yourself go, not noticing how Changbin was completely spell-bound by you, enamored with your every movement and utterly transfixed on you as a whole. You didn't hear him when he whispered, "This is exactly where I want to be. Always."

Hours later, your little group staggered through the door of the dorms, drunk off your asses and laughing hysterically at literally everything. Well, Chan was, well, emotional, to say the least, but he had all his friends to support him and cheer him up. You helped Seungmin (who was surprisingly on the less inebriated side of wasted, unlike most everyone else including yourself, but you were managing just fine) care for and tuck Chan into his bed. Between the two of you, you remembered to leave a trash pail near his bed along with aspirin and a big glass of water on his bedside table for when he woke up with his pretty much guaranteed killer hangover the next day. When you kissed his forehead, Chan, teary-eyed and sniffly, mumbled his thanks, "It'll be okay, sweetie. Get some sleep." He nodded cutely and snuggled into his pillow and within seconds, he was out like a light.

On your way to the living room, you heard Hyunjin whining from his own bed about needing something to cuddle while he slept. You happened to quite literally run into Jeongin who, by the look on his face, knew exactly what you were about to suggest. As you opened your mouth to speak, he held up his hand to stop you, "Alright, I'll go sacrifice myself. But if he ends up smothering me or strangling me in his sleep, just know I love you all."

"You're so dramatic!" You chuckled at the youngest as he turned towards Hyunjin's room, "Death by cuddles, what a way to go! Good luck, kiddo, and thanks for volunteering." The subtle smile over his features gave away the fact that he wouldn't mind 'sacrificing himself' one bit. Before heading for the couch, you took a detour to the kitchen for a glass of water, where, contrary to all expectations when walking into a kitchen at some ridiculously early hour of the morning, you found a body on the kitchen counter.

"Really, Minho?" You mumbled as you maneuvered around his foot that was hanging off one side. What was he doing? How did he manage to get himself up there and then promptly fall asleep—so many questions. All left unanswered since he was safe enough and you were too tired and not sober enough to care. So into the living room you went. Having lost Seungmin after you put Chan to bed, you were surprised to find him with Changbin and Felix, all snuggled up in a cuddle pile amongst various strewn about pillows and blankets on the floor in front of the couch. Felix let out a tired squeal when he spotted you and Seungmin pouted and made grabby hands while Changbin lazily smiled at you, clearly not even a minute away from nodding off. You giggled at the youngest, "I'll be there in a minute, Minnie." Crawling over a variety of bumps that could have been limbs or just pillows, you made your way over to Bin before he managed to fall asleep.

"Hey there, darlin'.” You breathed. He responded with blinking, droopy eyes, a sluggish smile still present over his doll lips, "It's way after midnight but I haven't had a chance to tell you yet." Changbin hummed and reached a hand out to touch your arm gently as you bent over him to whisper against his forehead, "Happy Birthday, Binnie,” where you pressed a sweet kiss. Bin sighed contentedly, eyes slipping closed as he subconsciously leaned into your touch, "Goodnight, birthday boy." By the time you had pulled away, he was already fast asleep. A few strands of hair had fallen in his eyes so you gently brushed them off his face as you admired his features fondly. Pulling yourself from the trance Bin had seemingly put you under, you carefully turned from his sleeping body to find Seungmin and Felix giving you looks. "What?" You asked defensively, honestly having forgotten they were even there. Seungmin sighed and shook his head and Felix just grinned.

"You kissed him wrong." Your incredulous expression caused him to snicker quietly, "Shoulda kissed him on the lips." Jaw dropping to the floor, you lunged for him.

"You better shut your mouth! I'll give you a kiss!" You taunted, grabbing his face and placing a big, wet kiss right on his cheek. He groaned and squirmed through his giggles. You pulled away and squished his chubby cheeks, "Cute! You're lucky you're cute."

"I second that," Seungmin agreed before whining and making grabby hands again. The three of you all cuddled around Bin, limbs thrown every which way despite being comfortable all close together, and let sleep overtake you. Seconds before you drifted into dreamland, you suddenly wondered where Jisung had gone off to. Apparently having wondered aloud, Felix grumbled a reply.

"Probably fell asleep in the bathtub or something. He's fine." You just chuckled fondly and shut your mind off, body quickly following.

Sunlight pouring in through the living room window eventually roused you from sleep, incessant pain immediately present behind your eyes as soon as you opened them, or, rather, struggled to pry them open. Faint groaning radiated from the blankets surrounding you and you honestly weren't sure if the sound was coming from you or from one of your sleeping companions, "Ugh, what time is it?" Seungmin mumbled before promptly being hit with something that sounded suspiciously like a medication bottle.

"Time for you to shut up and take some aspirin.” Came Minho's heavily annoyed voice from somewhere in the direction of the kitchen. You couldn't help but laugh, which hurt but that's beside the point, at him and the image of him sprawled out on the kitchen counter that you surprisingly vividly remembered from the night before.

"Sleep well, Min? I've heard kitchen counters don't really make the best beds, what do you think?" You teased, immediately shielding yourself just in case he decided to chuck something at you, too. He just grunted and grumbled under his breath, slinking out of the living room and away from the noise now that you and your little cuddle club were awake.

“Did he actually sleep on the countertop?" Seungmin asked, bewildered but chuckling quietly to himself and you shrugged.  

"I don't know how long he stayed there, but he was out cold when I went to get a drink before I came in here last night." Felix erupted into a fit of giggles. You found yourself laying on his chest so his deep voice startled you slightly with its closeness.

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me." Seungmin had presumably taken the aspirin Minho so delicately provided him with and he resumed his previous position and snuggled up to your back, sighing comfortably. Your legs were entangled with Changbin's and you took a moment to notice how quiet he had been.

"Kinda quiet over there, bean. You in a lot of pain?" You nudged one of his legs with yours and Changbin let out a barely audible complaint, but by the look in his eye, you could tell he was already feeling a little left out so you untangled yourself from your companions, provoking whines and multiple protests, and crawled over to your best friend. Wrapping your arms around his torso and nuzzling into his chest, you squeezed him close and threw a leg over his, "Better?" Changbin sounded more than satisfied when he sighed and mumbled into your hair.  

"Much." You giggled fondly under his weight as he pulled you in even tighter.

"Clingy baby." Felix and Seungmin whispered to each other for a few seconds before launching themselves over yours and Changbin's bodies, all four of you laughing and groaning interchangeably.

"Too loud!"

"I need pain relief!"

"I'm starving my ass off!"

"I'm making pancakes! Come help me!" Chan's voice floated in from the kitchen and you all dragged yourself towards the prospective food. Much to your amazement, Jisung was sitting on one of the chairs at the table so you took the opportunity to tackle him in a back hug.

"Hey, bud. We kinda lost track of you last night. Where'd you end up sleeping?" He laughed warmly and hugged your arms tighter to his chest.

"I'm pretty sure I fell asleep in the bathroom at first. I remember waking up in there at some point and then heading towards my room, but I must've passed out again before I got there because Chan found me slumped against a wall in the hallway when he came out to make breakfast." You, along with everyone else in the room, burst out laughing.

"Only you, Sungie. Only you," You teased him, gently rocking the two of you side to side. Jisung's cheeks reddened slightly but he just nodded and laughed along with you. Most everyone had varying degrees of hangovers but the group passed around the aspirin like the shots had been passed around the night before. Making breakfast was… to put it lightly, chaotic, but you all managed to formulate something edible and actually pretty decent. Breakfast in hand, your small group huddled around the TV to start the movie marathon that Bin had requested for his birthday.

You made it through two entire movies before some of the guys got antsy so video gaming was the next option to occupy the time. Vacillating between movies, board games, video games, and the occasional whining and competitive fighting, the day passed by rather quickly and soon, dinner time had come around. The birthday boy requested pizza, and a lot of it, so Chan ordered in and the meal arrived partway through another movie. Making it through the rest of that movie and another one, complaints of stuffed tummies and squawks of drink refill requests echoed throughout the living room, with bodies strewn about every which way and the infrequent snack wrapper or empty cup thrown at someone's head. Changbin was choosing the last movie of the night so Chan got everyone's attention, "Now's the time for bathroom breaks, drink refills and snack hoarding!"

"And if your name isn't Changbin, we aren't waiting for you before we play it!" Minho shouted at the scattering boys. You threw a mostly empty water bottle at the back of his skull.

“Don't be an ass, Min!" He just scowled at you as he rubbed the back of his head, prompting you to childishly stick your tongue out at him, "Your death glare doesn't work on me like it does on Hyunjin."

"Oh god!" Hyunjin shouted as he hesitantly trudged back into the room from grabbing a snack, “I heard my name. Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry!" Minho gave him a conniving sneer, which only served to frighten him more.

“No, you're fine," You reassured the younger before turning to the evil one, kicking towards him as best you could with a chair and a body or two separating you from him, "Stop scaring him, he already looks like he's going to piss himself out of fear!"

“Maybe I want him to…" Minho muttered under his breath. You gaped at him while Chan flailed and rapidly shook his head.

"No! No discussion of kinks in the living room!" Chuckles and giggles filled the room and Changbin feigned annoyance through his laugh, “I'm leaving before this gets any weirder." You watched him, slightly concerned that maybe he was finished for the night and heading off to his room but he noticed your gaze and mouthed "bathroom" to assuage your worries. Some of the others must have caught on because Jisung snorted.

"What, you aren't gonna follow him to the bathroom? Have a little fun?" Internally, you were flabbergasted, but on the outside, you were cool as a cucumber.

"Nah, I think I'll leave the piss play to Minho and Hyunjin, but thanks for the offer. I'm sure you'd love to join them though, huh Sungie? Have a little fun, hmm?" You taunted right back, the boys hooting and hollering around you at Jisung being given a taste of his own medicine, the young man's cheeks reddened deeply in embarrassment. Chan was exasperated. Disgruntled. Livid. Whatever you choose to call it, Chan was peeved and he just sat with his head in his hands for a moment. When he raised his head, however, you could tell he wasn't actually as angry as he led on, perhaps significantly amused despite his facade of heavy irritation.

"I said, no kink discussion in the living room…” He struggled to get through the sentence without laughing and by then Changbin had returned, having missed the entire ordeal.

"What'd I miss?" he asked, shuffling in.

“Immaturity." You stated quickly before anyone else could get a word in to explain. Bin shrugged and lumbered over to you, instantly dropping into your lap and koala-ing around you.

He spoke lowly in your ear, "My head still hurts but I'd rather stay here with everyone instead of going off on my own for the rest of the night. Is it ok if I just rest my eyes for a little bit, please?"

"Of course, Binnie! You know I never say no to your cuddles! You stay here as long as you like, sweetie." You smiled warmly as you glanced down at him and he hummed contentedly and snuggled into your shoulder.

"Thank you." You felt Bin shiver against you slightly and asked if Jeongin could toss you a blanket from the pile next to him. He obliged and you draped the soft fabric over both your bodies and nuzzled into your koala as Minho pressed play on the movie. The pattern of Bin's breathing changed faster than you expected but you held him close while you watched the movie. After a while, he started to whimper and squirm in your lap. To try to soothe him back to sleep, you threaded your fingers through his soft strands while your other hand traced designs on his back over his t-shirt but he continued to fidget and murmur. The possibility that he was just uncomfortable and still in pain crossed your mind so you asked him quietly.

"Do you need more pain medication? Or maybe some water or an ice pack or something, baby?" As soon as the word "baby" left your mouth, Changbin whined in your ear and desperately rolled his hips, his hard-on suddenly very evident against your thigh, “Oh, baby's needy." You thought you were quiet enough so that just Bin heard you, but you heard a muffled gasp from the other end of the couch. In the corner of the room away from prying eyes, you thought you and Changbin had a little privacy but apparently your couch companions, Felix and Jisung, could hear you clearly if you talked in anything above a whisper. Thankfully, no one else could hear you for the movie. Bin kept fussing and wiggling around so, opting to ignore the sharp inhale, you continued to speak so that just Felix and Jisung could hear you but pretended to not know they could, "Alright, baby. Use my thigh."

Changbin resituated himself and started to rut, breathy moans and sighs spilled from his lips directly into your ear. Moments later, Bin began to gently kiss at your neck and ear before whining, "Need more. Please. ’s not enough."

You hummed, pleased with his small show of affection and prompted him to ask properly, "What does baby need?"

"Touch me, please, I need it, please touch me…” He slurred, gripping onto the front of your shirt.

"Hmm, where?" You wanted to make him say it, wanted to hear how it would sound coming out of his mouth, how he would sound begging for it.

"My cock. Please touch my cock. Hurts." Changbin mewled. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Felix clamp a hand over Jisung's mouth, muffling the moan he let out at the words Bin had said. Covered by the blanket, you took your time reaching down to where Bin wanted you to touch.

"You're such a good boy for me, begging without being told to. And so obedient, too." Bin was sniveling discreetly, unable to sit still while he waited to be touched, but the second your hand dipped into his sweatpants and wrapped around his stiff, leaking cock, all efforts at being quiet went out the window. He let out a sinfully deep moan, music to your ears, but relievedly, it seemed to be only audible to those of you that were seated on the couch, since none of the other boys seemed to notice at all nor paid you any attention,  "Now baby has to be quiet, unless baby wants everyone to hear what we're doing." Bin's grip on your shirt immediately tightened, mewling softly and he reached down with his other hand to grasp your forearm as you slowly worked his cock. You took that particular moment to finally glance over at Felix and Jisung, who both looked bug-eyed and beet red when you made eye contact.

View obstructed by Changbin and the blanket draped over the two boys' laps, you couldn't see anything but you had a hunch that those facial expressions were because they thought they had just been caught with their hands down each other's pants, mixed with a little guilt from watching and listening to you and Changbin. You winked at the two of them and shot them a sly smirk as you bent your neck a little further to kiss at Bin's ear and asked the whimpering boy, "Feel good, baby?" Changbin whined and nodded in response, rutting harder into the hand that was fisting his cock. Maintaining eye contact with the two boys at the other end of the couch, you questioned Bin again, "Are you close?" Jisung nodded in answer to the question that wasn't even directed at him and you successfully resisted the urge to laugh or even smile.

Bin nodded vigorously against your shoulder and whimpered into your neck, "Yes, yes, I'm so close… Please, I need it, please, let me cum, I need to cum, please."

"Such a good boy for me!" You praised Changbin lovingly, and watched as Felix's brows drew together in pleasure and he dropped his head back against the couch, huffing out an almost silent groan, "Cum for me, baby." The noise Jisung let out when he came was somewhat odd and jarring, but no one paid him any mind considering random, bizarre noises weren't anything out of the ordinary. Felix managed to stifle his own groan with his free hand when he released. Bin, however, shuddered in your arms, silently biting his lip as waves of pleasure washed over him and he came hard, covering your hand in white and dirtying his briefs. You worked him through it, squeezing the head of his cock to milk out the last few drops as he twitched in oversensitivity. Once he had come down from his high, Changbin whispered a sweet "thank you" in your ear before placing a lazy, open-mouthed kiss on your jawline and immediately passed out from exhaustion. How you got three boys to successfully cum on command, you have no idea but, needless to say, it was a major confidence boost. You glanced back over at Jisung and Felix, who both looked nervous again, and chuckled under your breath, "We never have to speak of this if you get me something to clean my hand." Jisung nodded, dumbfounded, and got up too quickly – his feet became tangled in the blanket and down he went, ending up partially sprawled out over Jeongin's outstretched leg and the floor. Thankfully, both he and Felix had the forethought to tuck themselves back in before Jisung got up.

He sprang to his feet before Jeongin even had a chance to complain and whisper-shouted, "My nose is running," as a cover-up. When Jisung returned seconds later with a giant handful of tissues, Jeongin mumbled something about drowning in his own snot, but the older ignored him and made a show of wiping at his nose before discreetly passing the rest on to you and Felix. Credits eventually started to roll on the screen and some of the boys were stretching and yawning by then. You took the opportunity to gently rouse Bin, checking to see if he was feeling better and wanted to watch another movie or if he was headed off to bed for the night. He shuffled out of your lap and, in his baby voice, he giggled, "’m sticky." Changbin then took the blanket that had been draped over the two of you and wrapped it around himself like a cape.

The majority of the boys gave him funny looks at his comment but you laughed and provided an explanation, "You're like a furnace when you sleep and we had a blanket on so yeah, it's a little clammy to say the least." You received shrugs and nods in response, along with a few members echoing how warm Changbin gets when he sleeps.

Said boy's cheeks tinged pink and he chuckled softly, "Well, I might go sleep off the rest of this hangover even though it's still early. You guys can keep watching movies if you want, I don't mind." As you and the boys bid him goodnight and wished him a happy birthday again, he gave everyone a warm smile and waddled off to his room.

You silently hoped the rest of the boys would head to bed, too, since your bed was the couch and you really wanted to get off, wound up from the whimpering boy in your lap only moments before. Much to your dismay, the boys started to argue about what movie to watch next but Felix seemed to sense your restlessness and elbowed you. Turning to face him and Jisung, you couldn't hide the blush on your cheeks when images from before popped into your head. They looked like they felt similarly and almost like he read your mind, Jisung asked, "I got you tissues so we don't have to talk about this, right?"

You snorted, "Then why are you bringing it up?" He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and shrugged, trying to come up with an excuse but he just stuttered out random syllables. Felix giggled and you opened your mouth to poke fun at him but he held up a hand to silence you.

"Now's not a good time to bring up the fact that I have a 'good boy' kink, so don't say anything!"

Chan apparently suddenly acquired superhuman hearing, having jolted upright from lounging on the floor and pointed an accusatory finger at the three of you, "Hey, I said earlier, no kink discussion in the living room!" You, Felix, and Jisung all looked at each other before busting out laughing, figuring Chan had been completely unaware of all that had just gone down during the previous movie.

"Ah, blissful ignorance!" you quipped, nudging Felix in the side as you continued to laugh and Chan continued to give you the stink eye from across the room.

"Don't think I don't know what you all are up to!" The oldest chided, "I'm surprised you haven't run off to Changbin yet, considering what you two got up to during the movie." You blanched. Felix stiffened beside you when Chan continued, "And you two. Well, we're all kinda used to you by now but -"

"Get a room!" Minho shouted at the ceiling, body draped over a chair in what looked like a very uncomfortable position (but so is sleeping on the kitchen countertop, so to each their own).

You risked another glance at your couch companions but Lix just smirked and said, “I'm rooming with him tonight." He shrugged his shoulder in the direction of Jisung, "My bed's free, not that you'll need it. Have fun!" He winked and grabbed Jisung by the wrist to drag him off to the older's bedroom.

“Don't keep Hyunjin up all night!" You teased as they began to walk off. Hyunjin, sat in a chair on the opposite side of the room, scoffed.

"I'm sleeping out here since now you're not."

"Don't let him fool you, he usually keeps us up all night!" Felix taunted back and Hyunjin just looked scandalized.

"Welp…” You tried and failed to act casual as you stood from the couch. "I'm uhh…"

Minho sighed overdramatically. "Don't worry, we're gonna blast this movie and then next one. For our own sake.” He added.

Standing in front of Changbin's bedroom door, you debated with yourself for several moments whether or not to knock first or to just slip in quietly. You ended up just walking in, figuring it was safe considering what had just transpired on the couch earlier. Bin was lounging on his bed, lying slightly on his side facing away from the door, attention focused on his phone. He most likely figured it was his roommate, Felix, walking in so he didn't make an attempt to look up. You moved to close the door, leaning your back gently against it until you heard the soft click.

"Hey," your voice was weak but strong enough to break the silence, somewhat startling to Bin, if his tiny jump was anything to go by. His head snapped over to look at you, eyes wide and uncertain, and mindlessly dropped the phone on the bed next to him. You offered him an easy smile to reassure him you weren't upset and he swung his legs over to sit at the edge of the bed.

"Umm, hi..." Changbin hesitated. He twiddled his thumbs, glancing around the room as he tried to explain himself, "I'm uhh… I'm sorry. About earlier. I tend to just… drop." He shrugged, "It doesn't happen very often. Not really sure why it happens now that I think about it… but yeah, sorry." You smiled warmly as you watched his blush deepen from a barely there pink to a sweet cherry red. Bin continued to avoid your gaze as you inched closer to him.

"Why are you apologizing, baby?" He visibly gulped as you kneeled on the bed between his thick thighs and nudged his cock gently, smirking at his nervousness, "I was going to punish you for cumming in your pants like a teenage boy…" you started and Changbin finally looked up, a little dazed. "But you were so good for me." You glanced at the clock on his bedside table, "It's not midnight yet. Do you still want your gift?" Bin nodded enthusiastically, which urged your smirk to widen and the powerful feeling in your chest bloomed bigger.

Lifting his chin up with one finger, you leaned in close, close enough for him to feel your breath dancing over his lips but not close enough to taste. "Let's see…" you paused, pulling away to trail your finger down to the center of his chest and push him back on the bed. "How many times…" you continued, immediately shoving his hoodie up and dragging your nails down his toned stomach before your fingertips dipped under the waistband of his sweatpants, your palm resting directly over his cock. "… I can make you cum before the clock strikes 12:01, shall we?" Changbin was propped up on one arm, lust-blown pupils closely following your every move as you tugged his sweatpants down just a few inches to expose the band of his briefs before stopping to make eye contact, "Answer me, baby. I need to know if you want this."

"Please…" He whispered, eyes imploring and desperate, hands already gripping tightly at the sheets on either side of him. You smiled minutely as he lifted his hips for you to drag his pants off completely. Bin instinctively spread his legs wider and relaxed them, his knees falling out to the sides when you crouched down. You took the opportunity to shove his right thigh up, tightly gripping a handful of flesh and squeezing, mesmerized, and tried to keep yourself from drooling over him.

"So pretty…" You breathed, not quite a whisper, but strained with desire. Your eyes followed the fingertips of your free hand as you traced the lines over his stomach before moving to gently squeeze at his side, thumb rubbing tender circles into his hip bone. Left hand unhurriedly trailing up his opposite side, you reached up to his chest to barely brush your fingertips over one his nipples but Bin reacted with a jolt, arching off the bed and he bit his lip to muffle a moan, "So sensitive.” You smirked to yourself, tweaking his nipple so that he let his voice out, whimpering sweetly, "That's it, let me hear you, baby."

Countless daydreams and nights spent longing for him and there he was with your hands on him, his eyes teary and begging for you, his body so responsive, and you couldn't help but feel that maybe you were just dreaming all over again, but Changbin whined softly and canted his hips, snapping you out of your reverie, and you met his eyes again. "Please…" He repeated his earlier plea as he wiggled around, trying to get you to touch him more.

"God." You practically whined yourself, "You're so fucking cute." You leaned over him and his eyes locked on your lips despite the evident embarrassment written all over his face, cheeks ruddy and tears threatening to spill, "So perfect." He made a noise that suspiciously sounded like he didn't agree but you felt his rough hand graze the skin of your cheek and you couldn't hold yourself back anymore. Lips met lips and Changbin melted into you immediately, fingers tangled in your hair, a floaty feeling overtook your senses. His kiss mirrored his clear and apparent feelings – desperation, hunger, need, and everything in between. You could feel yourself losing all sense of reality; your lips moving against his plush, doll-like ones, his fingers tugging at strands of your hair, his gasp when you nibbled at his lower lip, everything was hallucinatory. But you still wanted to tease him a bit more.

"Please…” Bin whispered again against your lips, "I need you." He emphasized his imploration by grinding his hard length against your thigh and clutched at your shirt frantically. You kissed him hard before trailing your lips over his jawline and down his neck, sucking in random places, just hard enough to not leave visible marks.

"I'm here, baby. I'm right here." Tugging at his hoodie, you signaled that you wanted to take it off so he leaned up to allow you to. Immediately, you continued your path of kisses over his collarbone and down his chest, stopping to lick and suck at each of his hardened nipples. Changbin arched into your mouth, a loud moan escaped his lips when your teeth scraped just so and he automatically clamped a hand over his mouth in shock, "Nuh uh, I want to hear you," you delicately dragged his hand away, fingers intertwining with his as you kissed further down his torso.

"But the others?" He panicked slightly, "They'll – Oh!" Bin jolted when you faintly nipped at the flesh of his hip and palmed his cock over his briefs.

You hushed him softly, "Shh, they're busy. Besides, I know it turns you on more to know they could hear you." He just huffed in response, not denying your accusation. Curling your fingertips under his waistband, you pulled his briefs down ever so slowly, loving how he whined at your pace. His dick sprang free from its confines and bounced back against his abdomen, right below his navel. Tossing his underwear off to the side somewhere, you traced your fingertips up his thighs to his hips, one hand resting there and while the other inched closer to where Changbin needed most. Poor baby was so impatient – you slapped his thigh when he whined about not touching him fast enough, which caused him to thrust into nothing and groan in pleasure, "Ah, a bit of a pain slut, aren't you, baby?"

"Nngh, yes..." He moaned when you slapped his other thigh. Changbin shuddered when your hand finally came into contact with his leaking cock. You wrapped your hand around him and squeezed gently – your thumb dug into his slit before you lifted it to show the strand of pre-cum connecting it to his cock, "You're so wet! Look at this, you're already making such a mess!" Again, he whimpered in response. Smearing the pre-cum over his skin, you began to pump his cock, gradually picking up speed. "Do you want to cum from my hand or my mouth?"

You were being generous in giving him the choice and he thanked you knowingly, "Whatever you want, I'm grateful for. Thank you."

"Good boy." Changbin keened, arching into the touch when you suddenly mouthed at his shaft. Tonguing at his slit, you moaned at his taste and took him into your mouth, slowly bobbing your head to take more and more of him. Soon, your nose became buried in the soft curls at the base of his shaft, tongue diligently running over the bulging veins. Bin squirmed and fisted the sheets before reaching to thread his fingers through your hair.

“Fuck, your mouth! I-" A strangled moan abruptly cut off his words when you swallowed around him and his fingers tightened their grip in your strands. His tug at your hair was harsh, causing you to moan at the slight amount of pain. The vibrations from your throat only served to produce more overwhelming pleasure for Changbin and he writhed underneath you. You pulled away to lap at his balls, sucking each one into your mouth. He watched you like a hawk, dark eyes focused on you as you moved to kiss and suck at his perineum, whining all the while. One of his thighs in each of your hands, you pushed his legs up until you had better access to his pretty little hole. Licking a stripe over it, you smiled into Changbin's skin as he once again jolted and arched off the bed, "Jesus fuck! Oh my god!"

Moans began to pour from his lips as you licked, sucked, and nibbled at his rim. Bin threw his head back against the bed, panting heavily and breathed out your name, "Feels so fucking good!" When you started to fuck him with your tongue, he squirmed around so much, you had to hold him down, “Can't. I – Fuck!" The next time Changbin made eye contact, you could see that his tears had finally spilled over, leaving streaks down his plump cheeks. He was already lost in the pleasure, a daze clouding his eyes, but you weren't finished with him yet.

"I wanna pamper you. Where's your lube, baby?"

He licked his lips and tried to calm down, "Top drawer, way in the back." Despite knowing you had to get up to fetch the lube, Changbin still whined loudly at the loss of touch.

"Patience, baby. I'm gonna make you feel even better." His eyes widened and he fidgeted on the bed, still clutching his legs to his chest, bent in half with his hole on full display. You returned with the lube seconds later but stopped to stare at him, "I can't get over how perfect you are.” You praised, maneuvering the two of you so that you could comfortably kneel on the bed in front of him.

Once again holding his legs up, Changbin whined for you, "Please." You smiled sweetly at him and warmed the lube between your fingers before lightly outlining his rim with a single wet fingertip. He shuddered beneath you and let out another breathy whimper as you lightly pressed against his hole with two fingers, but not enough to breach the ring of muscles. Deciding to stick to a single digit to be safe, you gently pushed your middle finger in his hole up to the first knuckle and Bin clenched, surprised at the sudden intrusion, "Oh! That feels funny."

"I know, baby. Now relax for me.” You paused to rub soothing circles into his thigh, "I told you I would make you feel even better. I promise. Trust me?" When he nodded eagerly, you smiled again, "That's a good boy." He preened at your words, distracted by them, so you took the opportunity to push your finger in further. It went in easily and you began to wiggle it around to loosen him up. Not long after, Changbin started to moan, quickly finding pleasure again, "You want another?"

Bin hummed and you delicately inserted your pointer finger in alongside your middle finger. His mouth dropped open into an 'O' shape and he groaned deep in his chest when you started to pump your fingers in and out of him. Finding a little resistance, you reached up to work his cock to distract him a little more, "You're taking it so well!" You adored seeing his reaction whenever you praised him so you did it often. Scissoring your fingers, you moved around inside of him until you found that perfect spot.

“Nngh, fuck!" Changbin wailed and threw his head back again, his back bowed and his toes curled. You continued to rub tiny circles into his prostate as curses and swears spilled from his lips, "Oh god, fuck yes, fuck, that feels so fucking good!" By that point he was full on sobbing, blubbering and slurring his words, tossing his head back and forth, his nails dug crescents into the skin of his thighs.

“Are you gonna cum for me now, baby, hmm?" you asked, overly sweet, as you pumped his cock, stopping every once in a while to squeeze at the angry red head, – beads of pre-cum dribbled down the side and made the slide easier – and you continued to massage his prostate at the same time. Changbin nodded shamelessly, all care and worry thrown out the window. He just wanted to cum. Bad. And he begged for it. Even without being told to, he pleaded with you, vehement and ardent in his entreaty.

"Please, please, please let me cum. I need it so bad. I'll do anything, please just let me cum. Please, I need you to make me cum." That last part made something in you snap. You practically growled, lunging forward to kiss him fiercely. Sucking on his tongue made him moan into your mouth and you licked at his velvety walls, eager for him to taste himself while you worked him up to and over the edge.

"You're so good for me, such a good boy." You whispered against his plush lips, "Go ahead, baby. You can cum for me." Changbin cried out against your mouth, hips violently thrusting his cock into your hand and rocking down on your fingers at the same time. Ribbons of white splayed across his stomach and he desperately tried to catch his breath as he came down from his high. He whimpered into your mouth and kissed you sweetly, eyelashes fluttering against his cheekbones as you pulled back to look at him, "Baby looks so tired.” You lamented, withdrawing your fingers from his body before wiping them on part of the sheets next to you. Changbin hummed, a small smile on his lips as he nodded. His eyes quickly snapped open when you started to tug at his spent cock. A noise of protest escaped his lips but you continued to work his sore length. "C'mon, you've got one more for me, don't you, baby?" Your tone was melodic but mischievous and there was a sly twinkle in your eye when you crawled off the bed to finally strip for Bin, having stayed completely clothed the entire time you got him off. It was your turn now and you so badly wanted to sit on his thick cock.

He watched you unhurriedly remove each article of clothing, dick unsurprisingly chubbing up when you turned around and bent over at the waist, spreading your ass cheeks and putting yourself on full display as he had been earlier. You released your grip on the flesh, letting it clap back together and wiggled your hips, provoking a deep, sinful sounding moan from Changbin, "Come back..." He begged, "I wanna taste you." You smirked and straightened up, languidly moving towards him once you turned around to face him. He laid back on the bed and reached for you, silently asking for you to sit on his face. The thought made your insides throb with want, heat flowing through your veins, heart pounding and head light and floaty. You crawled over him and hovered above him before he yanked you down by the hips, immediately licking and sucking at your entrance with vigor. Changbin groaned and the vibration made you rock on his tongue, shivering as he shoved it deep inside you.

“Baby's so good to me…” You breathed, rolling your hips minutely, “Fuck, I love your tongue in me." Bin moaned again and you maintained a rhythm of rolling and rocking against his tongue. He soon reached up to insert a finger alongside his tongue, stretching you open for his thick cock while he ate you out like his life depended on it. You could feel yourself getting close so you forcefully removed his hand from your hip and sat up on your knees, shoving his other hand away in the process. He whined in objection and tried to pull you back down but you shook your head and moved off him completely, "No, baby. Wanna cum on your cock."

Changbin sucked in a sharp breath and canted his hips up into nothing. You moved to swing your leg over his stomach and reached for the lube that you had tossed somewhere on the bed earlier. Generously covering Bin's cock, you positioned yourself, and gripping his shaft, you guided it to your entrance and sank down until he was entirely buried inside you. You threw your head back and let out a wanton moan as Changbin dug his blunt nails into the skin of your thighs and tried to keep himself from moving too quickly. "You're so big, baby. Feel so full…" You mewled, circling your hips to feel his every bump and ridge against your walls.

He let out a choked sound and slid his hands up to your hips, "Please, can I move?"

"Yes, yes…” You chanted as you began to bounce yourself on his length. He met your hips with his thrusts, letting you do most of the work at first.

"You feel incredible. So tight, so wet, so fucking hot," Changbin babbled, drunk off the pleasure. You planted your palms on his chest, pinching at his nipples, and you felt his hips kick in response, momentarily disrupting the rhythm he had built up.

"I thought your tongue was good, fuck! Love your cock in me so much. Love it even more. So good to me, baby." You repeatedly cursed under your breath when Changbin quickened his pace and his harsh thrusts knocked you forward into him. He instantly took the opportunity to draw you into another kiss. It was more two open mouths breathing each other's air and tongues occasionally rubbing together than an actual kiss but you both were too caught up in the ecstasy to care.

He pulled away to breathe into your neck, whimpering against your skin as he gripped your hips tightly and pounded into you relentlessly. "Love you. I love you so fucking much. Wanted you for so long. Don't know what I'd do without you. I don't even want to think about it. I just really fucking love you." You felt tears prick at your eyes and you took his face in your hands as he slowed his thrusts and locked eyes with you.

"Then don't think about it." You stated simply, "I'm here. Always have been. Always will be. And I really fucking love you, too." Changbin didn't have a chance to smile or say anything before you kissed him, trying to convey your every emotion through your kiss. He wrapped his arms around you and held you as close to him as he possibly could, "I love you, my good boy, my baby." You whispered against his lips in between kisses and biting gently at his lips. He groaned and sped up his thrusts as he kissed you senseless.

"Fuck, I'm so close!" He moaned as his pace started to waver.

"I knew you had one more for me. Cum inside me baby, please." You found yourself begging him in the end.

Changbin grunted and reached between you to get you off faster, "You said you wanted to cum on my cock. Want you to cum first." You could see white begin to prick at the edges of your vision and your head felt even more floaty than before. Frankly, Changbin's cock felt like heaven inside you and you could feel your walls dragging him back in every time he pulled out. He adjusted his angle ever so slightly and with a few more thrusts, you came. Hard. Stars exploded behind your eyes and tingles ran up and down your body. When you opened your eyes, Changbin was there kissing you and working you through your high, "Thank you.” You  breathed and he smiled warmly and hummed, "Keep going. Want you to cum.” You pleaded, clenching around him snugly. He chanted your name against your lips, throwing in some curses and an 'I love you' or two, using your body for his pleasure as he chased his own high. Seconds later, when you clenched around him again, Changbin cried out and released inside you, thick white ropes coating your walls. He fucked his cum into you with a few quick thrusts before pulling out and wrapping his arms back around you. Bin laid still, lashes fluttering against his cheekbones as he tried to catch his breath. You watched him from where your head was laid on his shoulder. Pressing a small kiss to his jawline, you saw the corner of his lips start to curl before he chuckled lowly, "Happy birthday, Binnie," you congratulated, barely above a whisper.

Changbin laughed harder, "God, I love you!"

[wandas-sunshine]

The Good Side

Summary: Steve made a mistake, but at least you got the good side of things. He just never imagined that it would hurt so badly.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (sorta)

Word Count: 2222

Warnings: Angst, there’s no happy ending here, cheating

Flashbacks are in italics

You were nervous sitting there in the same little cafe that the two of you used to meet at almost daily. You were tucked into the back corner at your usual table, gazing out the window with your back to the door. Your cup was steaming in front of you. You hadn’t touched it yet. See, sitting there, and sipping your coffee, and watching people passing by on the busy streets while you waited for him to come...it felt too much like when things were okay between you. It felt too much like those days when he’d come and press sweet kisses to your lips, and apologize for being late. But he was always late, and it was always okay, because he was always sorry, and you could never stay mad at him when those big blue eyes looked so guilty.

The little bell over the door jingled in the way that used to excite you. Now it filled you with an anxious sort of dread. It had been over a year since you’d last seen Steve in person, and it hadn’t exactly been the most pleasant parting of ways.

You were shaking as you packed up your things from Steve’s apartment. Neither of you had said a word to each other since you’d walked through the door. He was just following you around the apartment, standing in the doorways. Your chest ached from the crying that you didn’t want to admit you’d been doing all night long.

He stood there with crossed arms, brooding silently as you erased every trace of yourself from the apartment the two of you had shared for the past year. You folded the flaps of the box together, and he stepped towards you so he could carry it to your car. Before he could, you’d scooped it into your own arms and brushed past him.

“(Y/N), let me help.” He pleaded. You glared at him. His voice was hoarse, you figured yours wasn’t sounding much better. You had cried yourself to sleep and hadn’t stopped crying since you woke up.

“You’ve made it perfectly clear that you don’t need me around. I don’t need you to usher me out of your life.” You snapped. The words stung you to say, but they sunk into Steve’s heart like venomous fangs. You’d been together for three year. Of course you’d had your fair share of fights. But never had he heard you sound so...over him.

The chair across from you was pulled out, and Steve sat himself down in front of you. He looked different. Less like the all-American boy-next-door you’d been in love with. His blonde hair was shaggier now, and he’d grown his beard out. You expected it to sting looking at him now, but it didn’t. Maybe you’d fallen out of love with more grace than you’d initially realized. Betrayal would do that to a person

“You look good, (Y/N).” He spoke after a moment. Hearing your name from his lips was strange after so long. It didn’t sound like music to your ears anymore. His voice was wavering, the way it used to after he’d been crying. Part of you wondered...You shook off the thought. It wasn’t fair to guilt yourself like that.

“You do too. The beard is a good look on you.” You looked down at the steam billowing from the cup tucked carefully between your hands. You just barely caught his forced smile. “So...how are things? We haven’t talked in…” You knew that he knew just how long it had been. You were the one to stop answering his 4am texts, after all.

“Nothing’s really changed. I moved in with Bucky.” He informed you. He didn’t mention that it was because he couldn’t exist in his apartment without thinking about how much colder it felt without your light in it, without remembering that you were never coming back to him. You nodded, completely unsure of what to say. Then he pointed to your hand. “You have a...that’s...that’s new.”

Your eyes drifted down to the sparkling engagement ring nestled on your finger. Your face lit up, and the knowledge that someone else’s love made it brighten that way made Steve sick. How could he have been so stupid as to let you go.

“Yeah. It’s new. His name’s Thomas. He asked me last month. It was a little fast, but I know he’s the one.” You beamed at your ex and brought your cup up to your lips, finally taking a drink. “What about your love life? You and Sharon still…” You weren’t sure how to word it. You didn’t even know what they had been before.

“No. We...It didn’t last.” He sighed and scratched at his jaw. You should have felt worse that he’d lost her, but how could you after everything?

You were curled up to his chest in absolute bliss, the thin white sheet being the only thing between your skin and the cool air of your shared room. Your chest was sticking just a little to his, both of you still heated from your celebration of your engagement. Neither of you minded one bit. His arms were still wrapped around you, one hand stroking through your hair while the other traced lazily against your back. He always got that way after sex. Soft and touchy, like you’d disappear if he wasn’t holding you. It had become your favorite thing. A reminder that he loved you and wasn’t going to let you slip through his fingers.

“I love you so much, (Y/N).” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your head.

“I love you too, Stevie. Why else would I say yes?” You teased, waggling your finger at him and showing off the ring he’d slipped onto it only hours ago. You brushed your fingertips against his jaw and leaned up to press your lips together. The kiss was slow and sweet and didn’t last nearly long enough as he pulled your hand to his lips. A soft kiss was laid against your palm, then against the ring he had chosen.

The both of you were nearing sleep as you curled up, basking in the afterglow. It was all barely-there kisses and feather-light touches until the sound of a phone buzzing against the bedside table drew you out of it. You whined and stretched to pick up the offending device from where your two phones lay together. You glanced at his screen, expecting it to be Bucky or Nat asking how the proposal went. But when you opened the message, you were greeted by something exponentially worse.

“I’m sorry, Steve.” You met his gaze again. His eyes were still clouded with the same guilt from before. You wondered if they’d ever shine as bright as they once had. But Steve knew they never would. He would never be able to wash away the weight of losing the best thing that had ever happened to him.

“So you’re engaged. What else did I miss?” He asked. Truth be told, he wasn’t sure what to say now. He’d asked to meet in your old spot for a reason. He’d hoped it would bring back something, memories or buried feelings for him. It was naive really, but he had come with every intention of begging you to come back to him. He wasn’t sure why he’d expected you to be just as miserable as he was without you at his side. You’d always been good at looking on the bright side of things.

“I moved out of Nat’s place. I got my own apartment a few blocks away from her. Tom is moving in soon. Oh, and we got a dog!” You unlocked your phone to show Steve a picture of you and your brand new puppy. “And I got that promotion I was trying so hard to get.”

In complete honesty, your break up had brought out a side of you that you’d never expected. Instead of sulking around Natasha’s apartment, you’d dove head-first into making your life better. You socialized more with newer people, worked your ass off to get where you wanted to be. You’d become a brighter version of yourself. And as much as it hurt Steve to see you happy with anyone else, he was proud more than anything else.

“Looks like you got the good side of things” He couldn’t help the heartbroken chuckle that came after he spoke. Natasha had nearly killed him after you walked the three miles to her apartment, heartbroken and completely alone in the middle of the night. Then again when she found out why you had done it.

Your eyes scanned the screen like you were misreading it. A new message from Sharon Carter. It read “missing you Captain” with a series of very flirty emojis strung behind it. If that wasn’t enough to completely shatter your heart, the picture that loaded would. It was a mirror shot of the stunning blonde in America themed lingerie that was far too reminiscent of Steve’s suit. You slowly looked away from the phone to your fiance’s face.

“”(Y/N), what’s wrong?” He asked, blue eyes scanning your eyes while his brain thought through a million awful scenarios. Not one of them came close to the terrible reality.

“What…” You blinked back tears. “What is this?” You asked, sitting up and letting the sheet fall away from your body. You handed him the phone with an unsteady hand. You didn’t sound angry, or even upset. Just a little shocked.

“Let me explain.” He stated immediately. You shook your head, shifting to climb off the bed you two shared. The weight of the tension in the room was too heavy, too hot. You needed air. It felt like your lungs were caving in. All you could think about were his hands, the hands that had just pushed you to pleasure more times than you could count, all over her.

“Nothing to explain.” You countered. You were already pulling your clothes on as he sat up. “You slept with her, didn’t you?”

He gave you a look, a silent plea. You did your best not to look at him, but a whisper of your name shattered your resolve. You met his gaze, those sparkling eyes that once gave you so much comfort, a sense of home, were now clouded with guilt.

“When?” You settled your hands on your hips and trained your eyes on a random wrinkle in the sheets. Anything to keep you from looking at him.

“Once a few months ago.” You gave a slight nod at his answer, still at a loss for words. There was a long, heavy silence before he spoke once more. “Then again...three weeks ago.”

That was all you could take. You felt like you’d be sick if you stayed any longer. You buttoned up your jeans and shoved your feet into your shoes. Neither of you spoke as you gathered the most important things. Phone, keys, the overnight bag you usually kept packed in case of emergencies. Everything else could wait.

“(Y/N), please talk to me. Where are you gonna go?” He begged as your hand gripped the doorknob with a strength you didn’t even realize you had, your knuckles fading to white under the force. You looked down, and a gling caught your eye. What had you beaming with pride five hours earlier now just made you nauseous. “Baby?”

You squeezed your eyes shut to force back your tears. Your fingers made quick work of pulling off your ring. You tossed it onto the bed in front of him.

“Have a good life, Steve.” You turned to leave before pausing. “And tell Sharon thanks for me. It’s good to know who you can trust.”

“I guess I did get the good side.” You looked down at your cup again, but it wasn’t out of guilt or anger. “You know, I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

For a moment, Steve brightened, and his heart didn’t feel so entirely full of lead.

“I don’t think I understand.” He confessed. You smiled, a genuine smile that lit up your face and made your eyes twinkle. Oh, how he missed being the cause of such radiance.

“You taught me how to be myself. You taught me how to love, Steve. You taught me how to love, and then you destroyed me.” Your words weren’t meant maliciously, they were just honest. Steve was sure death would hurt less than hearing you say things like that. “And that’s how I learned how to survive. I didn’t let myself wallow in self pity and I’m better for it. So thank you.”

Steve released a shaky breath. This had been an awful idea. Almost as bad as letting Sharon seduce him not once, but twice, all while he could have been reminding you how much he loved you. He could have been reminding you just how badly he needed you to breathe, but instead he tore apart your relationship. He hadn’t expected to lose you, but you walked away and took every good thing in his life with you.

“I’m sorry.” When Steve gave you a confused look, you elaborated. “I’m sorry that I got the good side of things.”

[strawberrysoup]

Inconsiderate

Thank you so much for the request @ozarkthedog​ I really hope you like it! I’ll revisit your other req soon for sure

Relationship: Steve Rogers x Reader

Prompts: #12 “We could... take a nap together” & #34 “Will you carry me to bed?” 

It had been so fucking convenient at first. You both lived and worked at the Avengers Compound, your schedule was consistent but flexible which worked nicely with his more sporadic and unyielding one. He was too wrapped up in his own head to accidentally catch any feelings and you had zero intentions of starting anything with someone like him.

Captain America was one of those always in the spotlight kinda guys, famous and intriguing and historically significant. The idea of being seen as Steve Rogers’ Girlfriend was petrifying in at least 5 different ways (+2 damage on specific calendar days: The 4th of July and Valentine’s Day). That wasn’t to say he wasn’t a great guy, because he absolutely was. He was a dream come true in multiple ways.

That was actually the problem, in fact. That Steve Rogers was a great fuckin’ guy. He was kind and thoughtful and sincere, all wrapped up in a beautiful angsty package. He didn’t just remember you offhandedly mentioning how much you enjoyed detailed coloring books and purchase you a couple, he hand drew a 40 page coloring book for you. When you complained the headset you wore at work made your ears hurt, he didn’t just buy you a new pair but he asked Tony Stark to make you better ones.

He also clammed up at the barest hint of emotion, acting like you had shocked him with a damn cattle prod the one time you’d said ‘I really like you Steve’. You hadn’t even meant it like that and he’d started twitching. You weren’t sure if it was a commitment phobia or what but it made fucking him 3 times a week a breeze (3 times a week might’ve been a lowball estimation but you told yourself he was out of town so often it averaged out the weeks where you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other).

Or, it was a breeze anyway. Until he continued to be so fucking perfect. It was inconsiderate of him, honestly, to remember your little brother’s birthday and also your practically excessive coffee order. He should’ve tried being more of a douche bag and then maybe you wouldn’t have started to maybe fall in love with him.

It was his fault, if you really thought about it. He didn’t have to be so kind and gentle and then turn around and plow you through a mattress with a hand around your throat. He really didn’t.

Settling on it being All His Damn Fault made avoiding him easier, for a couple of days at least. But your ire faded while his concerned and sad text messages kept coming and you quickly realized you needed to come up with both a lie regarding why you’d ghosted him and also get a fucking grip on yourself before you saw him again. Because you would of course, still be seeing him. You cursed your apparent penchant for self-destruction.

You worked through the whole day skillfully avoiding him, dodging and weaving almost like a real agent in your efforts to put off confronting him for just one more day. You’d text him in the evening when you got off and face him tomorrow, when you’d had enough time to thoroughly panic and then calm back down.

By the time you clocked off you were very ready to go home and vomit from anxiety before texting him. The door knob to your apartment turned when the built in handprint scanner cleared your identity and you burst in, slamming it shut behind you and dropping your purse in your haste to dash to the bathroom. It was a relief that your hair was already pulled back, you didn’t have the energy to wash your hair tonight.

It took a few minutes for you to realize you weren’t alone, that someone’s hand was on your back. When you built up the courage to look to the side, Steve was sitting there with that concerned puppy expression on his face.

“Is this why you haven’t been answering my texts?” His voice was a low rumble, fingers digging gently into the muscles of your back, “how long have you been sick? I was waiting for you to get home, didn’t expect you to run right past me.”

“I’m fine, sorry.” Embarrassment had settled over your skin like oil, slick and cold and heavy.

“Come on doll, up you go,” his hands came up under your arms and lifted you until you got your feet under you.

“Sorry Steve, I probably won’t be any fun tonight,” you told yourself that omitting the truth of why you’d been avoiding him wasn’t terribly important; he really didn’t need to know.

But you winced slightly and reached up to brush some of the tears off your face, what a thing to say. You hadn’t even looked in the mirror but you knew you looked like a whole ass disaster and it was so humiliating to look like that in front of Steve. He was constantly beautiful, fuck, he was probably pretty even when he was spewing chunks. It would be so much easier to get him to leave than try to explain all the details of why fucking you tonight would be an overall unenjoyable situation.

Plus, Steve rarely stuck around if it was just the two of you for an extended period of time that wasn’t going to result in sex. You couldn’t say for certain, but you were pretty sure he was afraid it might indicate some sort of intimacy. Despite the fact that you fucked, often, he did his best to keep you at a distance (not that it worked, you still fell in love with him—his fault, he should’ve done a better job).

“Oh, I—” He cut himself off, making sure you were carefully leaning against the bathroom counter before withdrawing a step, “well, I actually came over to check on you. I thought maybe I’d done something wrong, I wanted to apologize.”

He better stop being so goddamn concerned and sweet. You bit into your bottom lip maybe slightly harder than was a good idea, trying to reign your brain in from the errant thoughts that swam into your mind at his words. He was so fucking thoughtful, it was like he was trying to get you to suck his dick.

“No, Steve, you didn’t do anything wrong,” you shook your head and sighed, reaching for your toothbrush, “I’m the one who’s sorry, I’ve been ignoring everyone, not just you. I can definitely shoot you a text in a day or two, I’d hate to get you sick.”

An extra couple of days to avoid him sounded like just the trick to eradicate some pesky feelings.

“Well, I know…” Steve rubbed the back of his neck, “I know that usually you’d go to Sharon’s if you were sick, is everything okay?”

Ah yes, you could practically see him vibrating with discomfort as he broached something personal and intimate. It was par the course really and emphasized how important it would be to not fall in love with the emotionally stunted superhero you were fucking.

“Yeah, I just don’t want her to get sick either. It’s been… particularly uncomfortable,” that was actually true, you’d been very uncomfortable for the last few days.

“I don’t get sick you know,” his eyes met yours for just half a second before he looked away, “I could… I could stay with you, so you’re not alone. That’s why you go stay with Sharon usually, right?”

It was, yeah. Being alone while you were ill made you absolutely miserable and you’d cry the entire time, but Steve knowing that was so embarrassing. He wasn’t supposed to know that, which meant Sharon had been opening her big mouth recently. There was no telling the amount of confidential information had been breached at this point and you needed Steve out of your apartment, quickly, so you could phone the blonde and threaten to properly thrash her.

“I know you’re probably really tired, I won’t keep you up or anything,” you couldn’t for the life of you figure out why he was pressing further into not Strictly Booty Call Only territory, “We could… take a nap together? I’ll wake up in an hour or two to check on you, I could call some food up?”

You were quiet long enough to make him sweat, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. In a less serious predicament you might wonder if he’d been body snatched or hypnotized, but Steve was staring you down intently, fully cognizant of the fact he’d just asked to sleep in the same bed as you and have dinner with you later.

“That… sounds nice,” your chest tightened, an emotional war raging in your brain as your stupid crush on him tried to overcome your carefully crafted nonchalant mask, “I… um, I’ll just brush my teeth.”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back, okay?” He took a few steps back, glancing towards the door.

“Uh, yeah, sure thing.” Considering that you and Steve had gotten reasonably comfortable around each other, it was potentially the most uncomfortable conversation you’d had since you initially discussed a no strings attached fucking situation.

He skirted out of the bathroom and you turned your attention to brushing your teeth and washing your face, wincing slightly at the realization that he’d be seeing you for the first time without make up. You looked just a little pathetic when he came back barefoot (of course he’d had to remove his shoes next to the front door before going into your bedroom, it was just so goddamn endearing and polite), patting your face dry and frowning into the mirror.

“Don’t look so sad, you’ll feel better soon,” his conclusion was evidently that you were saddened to tears by your illness—which, depending on the bullshit Sharon had spewed, could potentially be backed up by evidence, “what can I do?”

You made your eyes big, looking up at him through your lashes to play it up, “will you carry me to bed?”

“Sure doll,” he swept you up in his arms with so much ease you could’ve swooned—you were allowed to take advantage of this situation, but only for a little while, you reasoned.

It couldn’t hurt too much to let him take care of you, right? It’s not like you could accidentally fall in love with him more.

[sanderssides-springfling]

Breaking Point (Spring Fling Work)

Synopsis: Sometimes being a light side just does’t cut it. After a particularly aggravating argument, Logan begins… changing. (Logan centric angst fic with guest appearances of most of the others,,,, but mostly Janus).  -Warnings: This is angst so expect negativity/coldness/miscommunications throughout, mild language throughout, some mentions of injury/illness used as metaphors 

For: @madamgarbage

Notes: I had a lot of fun writing this and I just really hope you enjoy it!!! 🖤✨

Logan was not a stranger to emotion. Despite popular belief, he experienced them like any other side. The difference was his ability to tamp them down, keep them from clouding his logic; it was an ability he prided himself on. Sure, sometimes his anger got the better of him when the others were being far too ridiculous. But for the most part, he was clean, calculated, cool. 

Right now, though, his head was pounding. Virgil was shouting hoarsely and Roman was yelling back even louder. Patton just whimpered, trying to get the two to stop fighting but failing miserably as he flinched back from both of their raised voices. Thomas stood in the middle of it all with glazed eyes. 

And Logan, what was he doing? Standing to the side. Being completely useless, it seemed. He pressed his fingers against his temples and tried to massage away the pain. His efforts once again failed and he turned his attention back to the situation. 

Thomas had to choose whether or not to go to a Broadway audition and wanted to consult with his sides to get their opinions on the opportunity. Unfortunately his plan had backfired and now the choice was even less clear. It was a debate, they were trying to make a decision— Logan should have been leading the entire thing. Instead, he had been shoved to the side as Virgil and Roman turned the discussion into a fight.

“It’s too big of a risk! If Thomas fails at this, he may never audition again. Think about how that would hurt Patton. Think about how it could ruin his whole career,” Virgil hissed. 

Roman answered too clearly, over-pronouncing his words as he spat them out like they tasted as bitter as his tone, “You’re suffocating me. You’re keeping Thomas from achieving his dreams. Your worries are simply too much. If anything is going to ruin his career, it’s going to be you.” 

Virgil raised his eyebrows and gave a cold laugh, “Oh, I’m sorry? I thought we agreed it was my job to protect Thomas? So why don’t you just back the hell up and remember your place.” 

“My place? And where exactly would that be?” 

“Safety comes before your stupid fantasies.”

“This isn’t even about safety! This is about you being a coward!” 

The room went quiet. Quiet, not calm. It was like the moments of silent after a lightning strike when everyone holds their breath, waiting for the roar of thunder. Logan needed to interject before things got even worse and this was his best opportunity to do so. 

He cleared his throat, “If you two would like to pause this illogical arguing for a moment, I would like to make a few points.” 

All eyes turned on him. He was nearly taken aback by the amount of anger in both Virgil and Roman’s gazes, suddenly turned on him instead of each other. It burned against his skin as they both glared at him. Patton tried to give him a smile but it was far weaker than usual. Thomas’ eyes were the worst— dazed from all the yelling, confused and torn apart from his aspects disagreeing so violently. Logan felt like he had failed; failed them all, but especially Thomas. It was his job to keep order, to weigh the pros and cons, to unravel problems, to make things clear. And when the others needed him the most, he had let it all fall into the hands’ of chaos. 

“I just think there are better ways to make this decision. You two have been yelling each other for over half an hour and it’s gotten nowhere.” 

“Yeah, because he refuses to admit that he’s wrong!” Roman interrupted. 

Logan gritted his teeth, “Please try to restrain yourself from talking over me.” 

Virgil was the one to break in this time, “Logan, maybe this isn’t the type of argument that you belong in.”

“Not the- not the type of argument I belong in?” Logan could almost laugh, “This is the exact sort of discussion I need to be included in because otherwise we end up in a mess like this!” 

“Logan,” Virgil growled, “I don’t think you’re understanding what’s going on here. This is an issue me and Roman need to settle. No matter what that means.” 

“No matter what that means?? Are you even listening to yourself? That’s the sort of talking that causes disaster!” 

“No, Virgil’s right about one thing,” Logan turned his attention to Roman as he was interrupted once again, “This is between the two of us. Don’t get yourself involved.” 

“If I don’t get involved, you’re going to tear Thomas apart trying to get your ways!” Logan could feel his temper slipping away from him just as his control of the situation was slipping through his fingers. These idiots had their heads so far up their asses, they couldn’t even see the damage they were doing to everyone else. 

“Logan!” Roman snapped his name to get his attention, “Maybe you should just go.” 

He scoffed, “Go? You really think you can solve this problem by yourselves?”

“Go.” 

Logan glanced at the stairwell where Virgil had snarled a singular syllable at him, “Excuse me?”

“He said to go,” Roman was glaring at him, “And, in this case, I agree with him.” 

Logan’s mouth fell open. It was ridiculous. They needed him, but apparently they just couldn’t see it. They needed him, but they didn’t want him. He shook his head. A laugh was rising up his throat but he couldn’t figure out what was so funny. 

He looked around the room, “You really want me to go? Fine then.” 

Thomas and Patton both seemed distressed but said nothing to stop him. Roman and Virgil didn’t have to say anything; the anger boiling behind both of their stares communicated plenty. 

And that was all he needed. Logan sunk out of the room without another word. 

He reached the mindspace in a matter of seconds, appearing in the dining room. The laugh that had been trapped in his throat bubbled over and crashed to the floor as it morphed into a cry. He clapped a hand over his mouth as giggles mixed with sobs and spilled past his fingers, filling the quiet room with hiccuping whimpers. It was just too much for him to wrap his mind around. His beautiful, perfect mind. And somehow they had managed to reduced it to this— a wreck, an absolute mess, emotions crashing into each other and spilling over onto his face so he could do little more than grip the back of a chair until his knuckles were white and he couldn’t even see through the ocean in his eyes. 

His skin felt hot as the tears rolled over his cheekbones and directly onto the floor. He was not a stranger to emotion, but this— whatever the hell “this” was— felt brand new. New like new boots, the type that leave your skin blistered and red and raw. His body was shaking and his stomach turned and he was sure that if he sobbed any harder he might start retching.

He felt so vulnerable; he was a scar that had been scratched at so many times it had finally ripped open and started bleeding again.

Logan was angry. Angrier than he had been in years. He just wanted to help. Why couldn’t they see that? Why wouldn’t they let him help? But more importantly, why couldn’t he help? Was he useless? Was he a tool that had no purpose, tossed aside by the others like a spare screw that didn’t fit anywhere? 

“Logan?” 

His head shot up, back straightening and squaring up in under a second. Janus was standing on the other side of the room like he had frozen in the middle of his movements. His eyebrows were woven together in what seemed like concern. 

“You don’t look ok?” His expression was a painting of confusion. 

Logan rubbed at his eyes from beneath his glasses, “I- I assure you, I’m perfectly fine.” 

Janus just laughed, silky and self-satisfied as always but maybe a little softer than usual, “Lying’s kind of my thing, remember, Logan? You look… great.” 

Logan let his head hang, not even trying to keep up appearances now that Janus had called him out. He glared at the other side from over the rim of his glasses, “Can I help you? Or are you done ridiculing me?” 

Janus took a couple hesitant steps forward, tilting his head to the side like he was absolutely fascinated by Logan. He began speaking slowly but it was obvious from his intense stare that his focus was very far from the words leaving his mouth, “Ridiculing? Oh dear, no, that was not my intention. What’s the matter? Something must be incredibly wrong to have put you in such a state.” 

“What the hell does that mean?” Logan snarled, “Am I not allowed to act as irrationally as the rest of you? Is sanity expected only of me? Maybe I’m tired of it! Do you understand how exhausting it is to carry the weight of responsibility with no one to lend a hand? In fact you all fight against me, pushing me downhill and spiraling Thomas further and further away from stability. Well, maybe I’m tired of it. Maybe I’m so damn tired of yelling until my voice is hoarse, just because I’m trying to look out for the well being of everyone else only to be discounted because ‘it’s not fun’ or because I couldn’t possibly understand, being the cold and unfeeling robot that I am. I am sick of it!” 

“Logan, I’m going to need you to calm down.” 

Logan blinked back into the present.

Janus was standing in front of him, hands raised to hold Logan’s face. Logan was startled to find his cheeks damp once again with tears beneath Janus’ quivering fingers. Janus was staring at him with a combination of fascination and terror. 

“Logan do you know what’s happening?” Janus’ voice shook nearly as hard as his hands as he drew them back to his chest. 

Logan could feel his forehead crease as he stared back at Janus, “What do you mean?” 

Janus laughed but it had lost its honeyed qualities; just a humorless, sharp exhale, “Look around you.” 

He raised his head at Janus’ cue, taking in the room around him. A glass that had left on the table was now broken into pieces. The glass of picture frames hung on the wall now lay shattered on the carpet. Items scattered on shelfs throughout had tipped over or rolled onto the floor. 

Logan’s mouth fell open, “Did I— How— What— Did I do that?” 

Janus nodded his head slowly like he wasn’t sure to believe it either, “The whole mindspace started shaking.” 

“What does this mean?” Logan reached out slowly to pick up a shard of the glass. His hands trembled as he studied the piece, turning it between his fingers as if he could find an answer in its angular edges. 

“Well, sometimes when a dark side is distressed enough, they can negatively affect the environment around them,” Janus had been speaking in slow, almost broken segments as if he had been constructing the sentence word by word, choosing carefully and cautiously. Now, though, he started rushing his words out like they burned his tongue, “You know, like the screaming thing Remus does or when Virgil makes the whole room go dark, that sort of thing.” 

“Wait. Janus, you said ‘dark side.’ And don’t try to lie to me, I have a perfect memory and I know what you said.” 

Janus winced and tried for a smile, “Yes, well…” 

Logan arched one of his eyebrows, “You are aware that I’m not a dark side, yes? And unlike Virgil, I was never once in my existence a dark side.” 

“No, no I know that,” He clasped and unclasped his hands together serval times as if the awkward movement could fill the even more awkward silence, “I’m implying that you might be becoming one?” 

“Oh, please,” Logan scoffed, “Is that even possible? And how have I even done anything to deserve the title of being ‘dark’?” 

Janus mirrored Logan’s raised brow, “Oh, and I’ve earned such a label? The point is, you’re starting to act more and more like us. Whether or not any of us are actually deserve that title is a debate for another day.” 

Logan studied the face in front of him. Janus was a master of deception— of course he was— but in this moment he seemed completely open, completely genuine. And if Janus was being honest… well, that could be a bad thing. 

He opened his mouth to speak but the words were slow to come to his tongue, “So, assuming this hypothetical you’ve proposed, how could this happen? How is such a shift even a possibility?” 

Janus gave another humorless laugh but at least he didn’t sound terrified this time, “I really don’t have the answer to that one.” 

Logan stared done at the floor, eyes roaming the pattern of the carpet but his mind incredibly far away. Was that possible? Could a side go “bad”? More importantly, could he go bad? Was he bad? Had he failed Thomas so much, hurt the others so much, provided so little use yet so much ill-will that— 

“If anyone has the answers, it’s going to be you.” 

Janus’ voice broke through Logan’s thoughts, “What?” 

Janus pulled out two chairs from underneath the table and faced them towards each other. He took a seat in one and pointed at the other, “Something is obviously wrong. Tell me what’s going on.” 

Logan stumbled into the chair, stunned by the commanding note in Janus’ tone. He sat down and stared blankly across at the other side, unsure of where to even start. He pursed his lips for a moment, “Why does it matter?” 

“Because you knocked my favourite mug off of its shelf and I need answers,” Janus rolled his eyes, “If what I think is happening is happening, that’s a huge change that could affect everyone— including Thomas. Now stop avoiding the question.” 

Logan glared down at his hands gripping each other in his lap. His vocabulary had abandoned him. This simply was not a familiar situation to him. He shared facts, advice, outside information; but feelings, his subjective truth? That stayed locked away. 

“Let’s start with why you’re crying, ok?” Janus’ voice was gentle but his question was still very clearly an instruction. 

Logan jerked his head up as he realized there were tears running down his face. Again. He cursed under his breath as he rubbed them away, “I don’t even know. I guess I’m just not used to doing this, this sharing of emotions.” 

Janus nodded, “And why aren’t you with the others? It sounds like there’s quite an argument going on up there. You usually jump right into the fray.” 

“I don’t know,” Logan pinched his nose and tried to ignore the burning ache in his chest. It was strange, the emotion so raw and intense that it had the effect of a physical wound. It was like the tissue of his rib cage was being torn apart, “I tried to join in, to try and add at least a little reason to the discussion… but they refused to listen.” 

“Logan, have they ever listened you about anything?” 

He let his head fall back down to avoid looking at Janus, “Not really. I can’t help but think I’ve failed Thomas.” 

Janus placed his hand on Logan’s shoulder, “No, no that’s not what I meant. I just wanted to know if the others took your advice.” 

Logan raised his gaze to make eye contact with Janus, “Well, sometimes.”

“But do you have to work to get them to even hear you?” 

Logan laughed, “Oh, yeah.” 

“And to they ever listen to you about you? Do they even ask?” 

“Why would they?” Logan paused, “Wait, should they?” 

Janus stared at him like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, pity swimming in his eyes, “I think I see the problem. I think your negative interactions with the others is causing you to turn into a dark side. It’s almost like a defense mechanism or something.” 

“But my interactions with the others haven’t been negative. They can be frustrating, yes, but they’re the closest things to friends that I would ever have. At the very least, they are my companions. Right?”

Janus grimaced, “From what you were saying about ten seconds ago, their treatment of you hasn’t exactly been positive. I’m not say they’re not your friends, just that… maybe they don’t act like it as much as they should. They don’t seem value you or what you have to say.” 

“But I need them to,” Logan spoke slowly, deep in thought, “How else am I supposed to help Thomas, to fulfill my purpose?” 

Janus said nothing and Logan continued he train of thought, “I guess it makes perfect sense for me to do what’s necessary to be heard. I can’t protect Thomas from their violent irrationality if they don’t listen to me. I guess this is just the natural course of action.” 

Janus seemed hesitant as he nodded, “I mean… yes, I guess so.” 

“Besides—,” Logan shrugged, “—maybe being a dark side isn’t so bad.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Logan smirked, “Sometimes you need to raise your voice to be heard; if I need to scare the others a little to cut through the chaos, then so be it. And it seems that I’ve been given the perfect tool to do so.” 

“Logan, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea… ” 

But Janus’ voice was already fading away as Logan rose back into the argument. He had been ignored for the last time. Never again would he be brushed to the side for being the cold outcast. They would listen to him— whether they liked it or not. 

Logan was not a stranger to emotion. And right now, he was smiling. Grinning, in fact— ear to ear, power flickering in his eyes. He was the voice of reason and no longer would he be an accessory to their foolishness.