#but I see him very much as taking on that role to A-Yuan in story

[admirableadmiranda]

Possibly an unpopular opinion.. but wwx was not a father figure for A-Yuan during their time in the burial mounds. He was more like a cool, but crazy uncle imo 🤣

Everyone be like, wwx did a good job... It was lwj who raised him 🤔 I mean, don't get me wrong.. our boy Wei did saved him twice and is so happy to have him in his life again. But lwj deserve most of the credit ✌️

Anon, I'm afraid I will have to disagree here and say that I don't agree with this take. If you are ascribing parental figures to one of them, then they both should get the credit, it’s not Wei Wuxian’s fault he was killed after only a year. I’m sure if you ask any number of people who have lost a parent young but they remember their parent being a parent while they were alive, that’s still the feeling they have now.

Yeah, Wei Wuxian plays with him a lot and teases him. That's not necessarily behavior that's only relegated to uncles. Not only does that sound pretty similar to Lan-furen playing with little Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji, but it also sounds like my dad, who definitely was a parent, just one that did his guidance through much more play related activities. There is more than one way to be a caring, good parent.

Also that being said, there are plenty of interactions and character moments that feel very parental in nature. Here he is scolding A-Yuan for eating corpse dirt:

Wei WuXian bent down and picked up the child, letting him sit on his arm, “What do you mean get him away? Can’t you talk properly? A-Yuan, why do you hug the leg of everyone you meet? Off you go! Don’t bite your nails right after you play with mud. Do you know what the mud is made of? Move your hand! Don’t touch my face either. Where’s Granny?”Wei WuXian bent down and picked up the child, letting him sit on his arm, “What do you mean get him away? Can’t you talk properly? A-Yuan, why do you hug the leg of everyone you meet? Off you go! Don’t bite your nails right after you play with mud. Do you know what the mud is made of? Move your hand! Don’t touch my face either. Where’s Granny?”

Here they are with some soup, and I double checked, Wei Wuxian is teasing A-Yuan and saying he's being a good son here. Filial piety is specifically the respect from a child to a parent or ancestor.

Wen Yuan couldn’t stop after just a few mouthfuls, yet he still knew to give the bowl to Wei WuXian, speaking as though he was presenting him with a treasure, “… Brother Xian… Xian eat.”

Wei WuXian seemed to like it a lot, “Yes, very good. So you do know what filial piety means.”

As well as A-Yuan seems to think of Wei Wuxian as a father secretly. A-Yuan gets lost in the market and while looking for Wei Wuxian, discovers and gets scared by Lan Wangji.

In the beginning, Wen Yuan was still holding onto his leg. Wei WuXian walked back and forth, picking out potatoes and bargaining. Hanging on his leg, Wen Yuan felt tired just a while later. His short arms were sore, so he let go to rest for a bit. Yet, in just a few moments, the rush of the people on the streets made him reel left and right, losing his sense of direction. His line of sight was quite low. He walked here and there, but couldn’t find Wei WuXian’s long legs and black boots. Everything in front of his eyes were pants so grimey that they were the color of dirt. He grew more and more petrified. As he spun around dizzily, he bumped into someone’s leg.

Hiding in the crowd as he heard the words ‘his dad’, Wei WuXian almost exploded with laughter. Lan WangJi immediately looked up, denying it, “I am not.”

Wen Yuan didn’t know what the people were talking about. When children were scared, they always called out to those they were close to. And so, sobbing, he called, “Dad! Dad…”

A-Yuan has not even officially met Lan Wangji yet. The narrative tells us he's scared and calling for those that they were close to. The only person who could hear him is Wei Wuxian. He calls him "A-die".

Wei Wuxian’s parenting is definitely a lot more unorthodox than most parenting we see, but let’s keep in mind that he is twenty-one at the most at the time. He is a very young man who is putting himself in the position of caring for a child in a hellistic time on earth. His main goal is to make sure that A-Yuan grows up feeling happy and cared for without ever worrying about their situation. He can’t erase all of it, but he can sure as hell make sure that A-Yuan never feels like everyone’s miserable. A-Yuan also seems to be the only child in the camps, who else does he have to play with?

The relationship between the three of them is interesting because there is no singular term that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji use for Sizhui, nor does Sizhui quite define them in one particular relationship. He calls Wei Wuxian “Xian-gege” most of the time, but also “A-Die” once when he’s scared. He describes Lan Wangji as being like a “father and brother” to him. The two men clearly both take pride and interest in his upbringing and even take him out on special trips alone with just the two of them.

If you conclude that Lan Wangji feels more like a parent to Lan Sizhui, keep in mind that they both give Sizhui the same sense of safety. He connects the two with the same emotion.

Wei WuXian turned to him, “SiZhui, you’re the most sensible one here. Guide them a bit, won’t you? Can you do that?”

Lan SiZhui nodded. Wei WuXian added, “Don’t be scared.”

Lan SiZhui, “I am not.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Lan SiZhui smiled, “Senior, you are so much like HanGuang-Jun.”

Wei WuXian was puzzled, “Us? How are we alike?” They were obviously like fire and ice. However, Lan SiZhui only grinned in reply, and led the rest of the group out.

He continued his thought silently, I do not know, either, but they just feel similar. It is as though if either one of the two seniors are present, I will not need to be scared or worry about anything.

And both of Wangxian conclude that they are both responsible for how he turned out, as well as the same soft look in their eyes.

At least, Lan SiZhui couldn’t hold it any longer. With a loud cry, he leaped up. One hand around Wei WuXian and the other around Lan WangJi, he pulled the two into a tight embrace. Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi bumped into each other from the hug. Both of them were surprised.

Lan SiZhui buried his head between their shoulders, “HanGuang-Jun, Senior Wei, I… I…”

Hearing his muffled voice, Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi exchanged a look, only inches apart. They both saw something soft within each other’s eyes.

Wei WuXian fixed his mood and put his hand on Lan SiZhui’s back, patting, “Enough, what are you crying for?”

Lan SiZhui, “Not crying… Just… I suddenly feel so frustrated, but so happy as well… I do not know how to describe it…”

After some silence, Lan WangJi laid his hand onto his back as well and patted. Lan WangJi, “There is no need to describe it then.”

Wei WuXian, “That’s right.”

Lan SiZhui didn’t say anything. He hugged them even tighter.

Soon, Wei WuXian exclaimed, “Hey, hey, hey, why are your arms so strong? Definitely deserving of HanGuang-Jun’s teachings…”

Lan WangJi glanced at him, “You taught him as well.”

Wei WuXian, “No wonder he grew up so nicely.”

There is no single defined relationship, but it is clearly close, affectionate and Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji definitely have a mentor/parental interest in his life and take a close hand in guiding him on the road to adulthood. However the thing that is clear is that Wangxian both share the same feelings and give Sizhui the same emotions. If one is an uncle, both are. If one is a parent, both are. 

Also again, I think it’s super unfair to blame Wei Wuxian for not being involved in A-Yuan’s upbringing while he was dead, especially since every time Wei Wuxian thinks of Sizhui, Sizhui keeps making him proud and thinking of how good a child he is. Lan Wangji also clearly is raising Sizhui to be aware of Wei Wuxian as he was and to when he is ready, know the other family that he lost.

If Wangxian were together and Wei Wuxian still died young, would you say that Lan Wangji still deserves all the credit? It’s not like Wei Wuxian walked out or chose not to be involved. He died. Of course Lan Wangji has put in the more time, but that’s not something either of them ever wanted.

So yeah, it probably is kind of an unpopular opinion. And not one I particularly agree with either. Sorry!

[sha-n-dowbannedlol]

Wriothesley — the art of body language

cw: feat neuvillette, references to neuvi's story quest (sorry, i just finished it, loved it very much) other than that nothing rlly, just fluff

an: i cant believe i havent written anything for wrio yet??? thats unacceptable, considering i main him (and jing yuan too, all because ono daisuke voices them... jotaro brainrot goes crazy)

It had come to Iudex Neuvillette's attention that there is still much he needs to learn about the enigma that are humans. Following his recent revelations as to his role in Fontaine and relationship with its citizens, he thought it'd be nice if he gets to know them better.

It hadn't escaped his knowledge that sometimes, things would fly over his head. Things said in jest, he ends up taking seriously before realizing at a later time that it was in good humor.

Sometimes, he doesn't realize that his silence had ended up causing the other party feel awkward, and even then, he doesn't know what to do or talk about when they do.

And so, he started by studying the little things. Their expressions, their body language—It had first came up in a conversation with the head nurse of the Fortress of Meropide, Sigewinne.

During one of her rare vacations where she visits the overworld and checks on the Chief Justice in worry that he may be overworking himself again.

Sigewinne talks about the things she has learned from observing the expressions from the workers in the Fortress, and with her observant gaze, she notices just how interested the Chief Justice seems even if from an outsider's point of view, he just looks like he's sporting the same, neutral expression.

At that, Sigewinne brought it upon herself to share the things that she has learned, but he can see the slight furrow on Neuvillette's brow, his fingers on his chin, deep in thought as he tries to picture out the expressions that she's describing.

Thinking to herself, the head nurse thinks of someone that she can describe well enough but also someone that Neuvillette knows fairly well to help him picture out what she's saying—and one person easily comes to mind.

"Take His Grace, for example." Sigewinne mentions, and the Iudex looks up with his eyes widening the slightest bit.

"Wriothesley?" He echoes.

"Yeah!" The melusine chirps happily, smiling widely at Neuvillette.

"If you show him that one human you always send from the Gardes, you can notice a few things from his body language that you wouldn't notice if you're not looking closely."

Which leads to the mentioned Duke now sitting in Neuvillette's office in Palais Mermonia, a tea cup in hand. After all, if Neuvillette were to learn, it'd be better if he sees it for himself, no?

Wriothesley was in the middle of his sentence when a knock reverberates in the room, coming from the door to the entrance to the office. Still holding onto his teacup, the Duke glances at the door, before looking back at the man before him, not surprised by the knock at the very least, as if he had been expecting it.

"Monsieur," Wriothesley spoke in his usual polite tone towards the Chief Justice, "Are we expecting someone else?"

His icy gaze are calculating as they meet Neuvillette's gaze, the Iudex shaking his head, sighing as he looks back to meet the man's calculating gaze.

"Pardon me, it's just some business. It'll be quick." Neuvillette apologizes politely, to which Wriothesley nods and shrugs, taking a sip from his tea cup. Taking that as his 'go ahead' signal, the judge turns his head to his office door and spoke.

"Please, come in."

Neuvillette was quick to glance at Wriothesley from the corner of his eyes as the door opens. And as you came into view, he notices the way the Duke's eyes widened slightly in surprise, quietly choking on his tea but managing to gather himself again in a split second.

"Chief Justice." You spoke in a formal, polite tone, eyes glued to the man who nods in return, before you eventually noticed the other person in the room.

Again, Neuvillette observes Wriothesley.

"Your Grace," You also greet the Chief Justice's guest politely.

True to Sigewinne's words, The Lord Incognito sat with his back a little straighter, his chest puffing out as he oh so gently puts his tea cup down on its saucer, his voice laced with a tad bit of warmth as he spoke your name in greeting.

"Is it a bad time?" You asked, eyes glancing over the tea cups laid on the table between the two men, "I'm sorry for interrupting your meeting."

But before Neuvillette could reassure you that you weren't at fault, and that it was all his for having called for you, Wriothesley was quick to respond.

"Nonsense," Wriothesley didn't even hesitate to reassure you that he doesn't mind, a small genuine smile gracing his lips. "We're just sharing some words over tea, would you like a cup?"

"Thank you, Your Grace. But I couldn't possibly." You respond as you take steps closer, closing the door behind you as you fully enter the office.

"I insist." Wriothesley hums, already reaching out for a third tea cup that has been conveniently brought out by Neuvillette despite the fact that there were only two of them.

You raise your hand, about to protest but was cut off by the Chief Justice, your boss himself.

"You're no strangers to each other, please do share a cup," Neuvillette spoke as he looked at you with a nod before standing up from his seat. "Excuse me while I look for the file that our latest convict needs—I seem to have mixed it with other files."

An obvious lie. The Chief Justice is a neat person, everything has a place and everything is in their rightful place, but neither of them questioned it as Neuvillette offers his seat to you before moving over towards his desk where the paperworks to process the latest criminal lay.

He took this opportunity to study the scene before him, as he pretends to shuffle papers here and there.

Diluted pupils. Eye contact. Mirroring your actions. A smile never leaving his face. Leaning on the table. And.... uh huh. That's the third time Wriothesley tried to fix his hair in the past five minutes.

Neuvillette blinks as he observes the way the Duke handles himself around your presence, and he is sure that if Wriothesley had a tail, it'd be wagging happily right about now.

Eventually, the Iudex returned to rejoin your small party. A small smile was plastered on both your and the Duke's faces as you engaged in your own little world, both pairs of eyes landing on him as he penetrated your little bubble.

"I've found it," He spoke in his usual neutral tone, and you gave him a nod.

The ever gentleman that he is, Neuvillette thought nothing of it as his hands moved with sophisticated grace, pulling your chair out for you and offering you his hand to help you stand. He was just being polite. And being used to his actions, you didn't hesitate to take his hand as you stood. But...

Ah.

Neuvillete can't help but notice Wriothesley's gaze fixated on your hand in his grasp, the smile on his face gone, just his pale, icy gaze staring a hole into the Chief Justice's fingers around your hand.

Tense. On guard. Almost reminiscent of a guard dog meeting a stranger and gauging whether they are a threat or not.

Interesting.

The man let go of your hand to give you the paperwork you had come for, giving you another nod, your gazes now locked with each other's.

"Here you go,"

"Thank you, Monseiur."

You receive the files, opening your mouth to bid your farewell to both men in the room when the sound of the chair sliding against the floor sounded, and both your attention snapped towards Wriothesley who was letting out a loud sigh.

"Ah, would you look at the time?" Wriothesley suddenly announces loudly, as if making sure both of their attentions are on him. "It's getting late."

Neuvillette's head subtly tilts to the side in curiosity at Wriothesley's sudden actions. Trying to figure out what has the man so tense, quietly thinking to himself.

Is this what they call envy? No, envy isn't precisely the correct term...

Ah. Jealousy. That's the term.

"I should get going. Thank you for this afternoon, Monsieur Neuvillette." The Duke spoke, approaching the both of you, snapping the said man out of his thoughts, who turned to face him.

"The pleasure was all mine. I'm grateful for your time as well," The Chief Justice responds,

"I'll be on my way as well," You spoke your farewells to your boss, and Neuvillette watched as Wriothesley turned to face you this time, speaking your name in a soft tone.

"You'll be escorting an inmate to the Fortress, no?" Wriothesley spoke with a slight hint of amusement in his voice, his eyes on you as you nodded to confirm his questions.

"I am, but I'd have to pick them up first." You respond as you turn to walk towards the exit, Wriothesley hot on your heels like a puppy happily following its owner

"I'll go with you, then."

"That might not be a good idea, Your Grace. They might get intimidated."

"Well, they'll just have to deal with it, won't they? They'll be seeing more of me in Fortress of Meropide; they should get used to it."

Neuvillette watched your exchange, the Duke opening the door for you, closing it behind him, and your voices became muffled. The Hydro Sovereign stands in place, placing a hand on his chin as he thinks.

"And what kind of emotion does Wriothesley portray when around them?" Neuvillette had asked Sigewinne after she happily detailed every minuscule movement that Wriothesley does consciously and unconsciously in your presence.

"That is what humans refer to as romantic love." Sigewinne beams up happily at him, and he nods, making sure to make an internal note of that.

"So that was love." Neuvillette nods to himself, eyes still glued to the door where you and Wriothesley exited. Funnily enough, Wriothesley wasn't the only one he ended up observing.

From his observations, he can quickly tell that you had the same body language as the Duke throughout your entire conversation, a stark contrast to your more rigid and mechanical body language when speaking to him.

That day, oh so casually, the Chief Justice confirmed and gave his judgment on both of you based on the observed facts.

"They're in love with each other." Neuvillette concluded.

"And neither of them know."

[wishluc]

Oh god please elaborate on the Express Eatery thing! I love having Luocha as a customer

Going over this with Luocha, Yukong, Jing Yuan and Blade!

CW: yandere characters

So you work at the Express Eatery, and you start to notice that Luocha comes in every day with a new menu item he wants to try out. While waiting for his order he asks about your time on the Express and the meals you like and how you're finding the Luofu so far. He refuses to elaborate on the coffin he carries around or on anything else about his job apart from the "traveling merchant" line, but you let it slide because he's nice enough otherwise. He also tips very generously, and leaves glowing reviews, which may or may not play a role in you liking him despite how suspicious he can be at times. After he's cycled through all the items, however, he starts asking for other things; snacks you like to eat, whatever you usually have for breakfast, a dessert you're craving for, etc. And he starts bringing in dishes that he likes, and asks for you to eat them with him during your break (even waits outside your stall until you take your break, if you try and lie your way out of it). And when the day comes that you have to pack up and leave your short-lived stall behind, you do so without informing your number 1 customer, which doesn't go across well.

But how were you to know Luocha had also met Dan Heng before, and would be visiting the Express the very next day?

Other customers you meet include Yukong, who's sweet and has the most interesting stories for you. She offers to pilot a Starskiff for you (and promises that she's not a reckless driver anymore, unlike the stories of her youth she may have told you about), invites you to lively parties once you're done for the day, and even shows you around the Luofo herself. You do notice, however, that her eyes dim and her smile fades when you mention leaving the Luofo, even if you don't comment on it. Coming up to the days before you close the stall, she takes you on increasingly exciting trips around the Luofo, all the while assuring you that there is still much to see, as though to entice you into stay longer...

There's also Jing Yuan, who stays for long periods whenever he stops by. He stands by your stall with a languid smile, talking to you while eating. He has a habit of distracting you with sudden questions when ever you notice just how long he's been standing around, asking you about your thoughts on a dish or how long you've been with the Crew. And while his exterior is perfectly relaxed with you, if anyone else dares approach while he's there, all it takes is one inquisitive look from him to send the intruder scurrying away. You've never thought the General to be that frightening, but you supposed his position warranted some extent of fear. Normally, you would be a little irritated about how he was obstructing business, but there was no doubt his pleasant conversation and generous hand made for far better company than a queue of customers in a rush to their next stop.

But a few days before you're set to close the stall, you get approached by a group of officials who warn you that doing business without a permit is illegal. Apparently, whatever documents March got for your little side business wasn't enough, and you were missing some important components. Fortunately, Jing Yuan steps in and offers to help you settle the problem at once, and as you gratefully accept his assistance (with a promise to treat him to a serving of Cosmic Fried Rice on the house sometime). To your surprise, however, you're told that you're required to stay and continue doing business on the Luofu for another few weeks before the license is granted, and you find yourself having no choice but to comply. At least, the General is here to keep you company, right?

At first Blade stopped by only to pick up a serving or two before leaving right after, never indulging in conversation unlike your other patrons. Even his reviews were short and to the point, simply leaving a rating of 5 stars along with his moniker—but as long as it was a good review, you had no complaints. However, as time went by and you saw him increasingly more often (though you took note of the fact that he'd only ever come by when the shade fell across your stall just right and there were little to no other customers), he'd comment on your methods and packaging, with odd lines such as "The box didn't come apart even after a fight," and begin ordering in advance for the next day—he claimed this was a far more efficient system, and offered to pay extra as a booking fee.

He comes off a little strange at times, with his unnerving smile and his peculiar comments, but you think that Blade's one of your better customers. He's patient and his requests are simple, and he deals swiftly with any troublemakers around your stall. Surprisingly, him swinging around his sword threateningly doesn't discourage new customers from checking your stall out. So when the day comes that you have to inform him that there was no tomorrow for his order to be prepared in advance, Blade only regards you with a pensive look and the smallest of nods, before leaving. You would miss him, despite his oddities.

And then you're told that you have to accommodate for a temporary addition on the Astral Express, someone sent by Kafka, and who awaits you in the parlor car but Blade himself?

all works © wishluc. do not copy, steal or repost my works on other platforms. (including translations)

[gaywarcriminals]

Shen Jiu is an Abusive Mother

Yeah this is my Mother's Day post <3 This is just for funsies, and I by no mean think its the best lens through which to see SJ and LBH's relationship— its just a comparison I find interesting, and I was feeling festive 🥰.

To start, none of this is to say that SJ is a feminine character. I don't believe that, and I think that he's often misinterpreted as more feminine by western fans due to differences in gender norms/gender roles (which is a Whole Other Coversation). Maternal/mommy are being used loosely here.

Secondly, I don't think we'd even be looking at SJ through a maternal framework if the man who took over his body wasn't Shen "I would never abort you" Yuan. SJ is mostly pulled into this because he exist in juxtaposition to Mr. Freud's Wet Dream (go read tshirt's SVSSS Freud zine btw, several points here are inspired by it).

The fact remains, though, that even without Wifebeam Supreme playing the part, there is something distinctly parental about the role of Shizun. Shizuns cannot be compared to teachers or tutors, who the child either go to visit durning the day, or who come to the child's home when it's time for lessons. Even with the respect due to them, a teacher remains distinct from a child's home and family. They do not overly incorporate themselves into these things that define a child's life. 

Shizuns are a little different. There is, ofc, lots of variation within the xianxia and wuxia genres, but in most of the stories I've encountered— and more importantly for our purposes, in SVSSS itself— unless the child’s family home is their sect, when a child is accepted as a disciple, they're expected to join their shizun/shifu either in the master's home/sect, or in free-roaming travel. In both cases, the shizun's home becomes the disciple's home, and their shizun becomes the main adult responsible for the child. The master will take over in guiding the child's development from here, shaping them by their hand. Is that not a parent? I think some such imprinting is inevitable, even among more well-adjusted disciples. Do you know who's not well-adjusted?

Luo Binghe enters the sect soon after the death of his mother. There is a mommy shaped hole in his heart. Though absolutely nothing could replace her, he's a sad, lost, and angry child, coming to a mountain of immortal masters, desperately hoping for one of them to take him as their own. As much as he's motivated by fulfilling his mother's wishes, isn't he also looking for a place to belong in this world, now that the hut that he once called home is ruined by his mother's absence? Doesn't he hope, if only for a short time, that someone else will see fit to care for him? As much as Luo Binghe is already hurt and hardened in many ways, he's still just a child; he's not yet blackened beyond dreaming of someone to love him.

Shen Jiu is very much Not That. Shen Jiu is not a merely a lofty immortal ambivalent to his disciple’s emotional needs. No, Shen Jiu hates Luo Binghe enough to unfairly punish and ostracize him, and even puts him in deadly harm's way twice before just outright trying to kill him (the manual, the demon invasion, the abyss). Going by the framework of SQQ as a parental figure, he's undeniably an abusive one. In what way could this be said to be maternal, though? In my eyes, it comes down to motive.

Shen Jiu has a lot of motivations for abusing Binghe, mostly coming down to the fact that's he's more trauma response than man at this point, but one of these is more explicitly outlined in the text than the others: Shen Qingqiu saw three things on the original flavor’s face: envy, envy, and more envy. Envy that Luo Binghe had a mother who was “the kindest in all the world to him,” envy of Luo Binghe’s talent, envy that Luo Binghe would enter Cang Qiong Mountain Sect at the best age for cultivating. He was indeed the kind of person to brim with envy and resentment toward a young child.

Envy and jealously, at least in the western canon, are usually associated with female characters (and though it’s outside the scope of this post to dissect, let it not go unremarked that this trope is deeply misogynistic in origin). They are almost always envious of a younger, more beautiful, and/or more skillful woman, who are posed at the moral superior to the jealous woman. That's right, Shen Jiu is an evil stepmother! He tolerates having no superior or equal on his peak, needing his power and superiority to go unquestioned. Outside of his abuse of Binghe, and the references early in the novel to SJ chasing away talented disciples, I think this is also shown by how the male disciple SJ tolerates the most is Ming Fan, who has only middling talent and is obsequious before his shifu, never challenging SJ in any way, and never threatening to surpass him.

But of course, SJ’s relationship to Binghe is the most obvious example. Shen Jiu sees himself in Luo Binghe (derogatory). He sees Luo Binghe as a symbol of everything he never had. Luo Binghe is a creature like himself that, for no rhythm or reason, was given so much more than SJ. It is also notable that, at least as far as Shen Qingqiu, as an outside observer, can tell, the thing which first sparked SJ's ire was the mention of LBH's mother. Never mind that LBH says in the same breath that she's dead; the fact that when she lived, she was a kind and loving mother to LBH is enough for SJ to envy him, and as he finds more to envy, it comes justification to hate the boy, and to punish him for daring to have someone who died loving him. 

(Side note: after consulting the qijiu server about the implications of SJ’s reaction, my reading is that SJ never knew his mother. The only alternative is that she was a bad mother, but I don't think he would find such unilateral comfort in women if that was the case. It's made me wonder if SJ ever believed that having a mother, a protector, would have spared him his fate. But alas, this post is not about SJ's mommy issues. Another day!)

Even outside the realm of cartoonish villains, I think this particular brand of envy is, in some ways, associate with motherhood. There's a natural tendency in parents to see themselves in their children, but as mothers are almost always the ones more involved in raising children and more expected to foster emotional connections with their children, I think this is both more common and more encouraged in mothers than fathers. Mothers are expected to be in charge of and over-involved in most aspects of a child's life, and in turn their lives are expected to revolve around their children, blurring the boarder between the self and the child. The child becomes symbolic of the mother's past self and what she can no longer be. The expectations on the child are the expectations of the mother's idealized self, and whether the child meets them or not, the mother will resent them for it, for daring to fail when they are her, or daring to succeed when they are not.

That's not to say SJ ever had such deep identification with LBH— he certainly never cared for LBH, and if anything, he's more like a mother who resents her child being born (as though he did not pick this boy out of the dirt himself)— but the hatred for a child under his care being like him but supposedly better off feels evocative of this characteristically maternal form of envy.

And finally, there is the fruit of SJ's actions, and the most explicitly/textually maternal aspect of SJ's abuse: it created Luo Bingge.

“Has Shidi ever considered that, if you hadn’t treated Luo Binghe like that in the beginning, everything that unfolded today never would have happened?”

He had singlehandedly created the Luo Binghe of today,

Luo Bingge, the all-powerful demon, the ruler of the three realms, and Shen Jiu's own personal torturer, would never have existed without SJ's intervention. Luo Bingge is shaped in Shen Jiu's image, and everything Shen Jiu ever did to destroy the boy only twisted him to further fit this mold. Luo Bingge's fate, the shape of his very soul, have been defined by SJ. And what is more maternal than giving someone their life defining trauma? 

[wangxian-the-zhijis]

This is CQL only as I haven’t read the novel or watched the donghua. I REPEAT: THIS IS CQL ONLY.

Hi! So it’s been established here that lwj did A LOT of significant things that the story chose not to show.

Written in that post is: Lan Wangji saved A-Yuan and Wen Qing and that’s why he was late at the Battle in Nevernight.

There are a few more things that I want to say:

Lan Wangji spoke up for the Wens. He openly expressed that the Wens should not be executed.

For those who are saying that Lan Wangji is just as useless as anyone who did nothing for the Wens, then stop. Because HE DID something. You could argue that he didn’t do enough. But what else do you want him to do? Battle the Jins himself and lose his life? Point is, if you check the deleted scenes, Lan Wangji, in fact, DID battle the Jins (even the Lans!!!) in order to save Wen Qing’s life. He’s so much better than those who literally did nothing and let the Jins do as they please.

This was already stated in the linked post above but I’m still gonna put it here: Lan Wangji saved A-Yuan BEFORE Wei Wuxian died. Not after.

When he saw A-Yuan, he didn’t have the arm injury he got from the Battle in Nevernight. When he was defending the Burial Mounds, you can see the blood on his right arm, which indicates the presence of the injury he got from the Battle in Nevernight. So this means that he saved A-Yuan before he got his arm injury— before the war— before Wei Wuxian died. So for those who’s saying that Lan Wangji only redeemed himself after Wei Wuxian’s resurrection, you’re wrong. He has always been on Wei Wuxian’s side since day one.

I’ve seen people say that Lan Wangji probably didn’t have any contribution during A-Yuan’s growth since he was recovering. Wow, idk where they got that from. They must know better than A-Yuan then?

A-Yuan openly expressed that he adores Lan Wangji. When he and Wen Ning reunited, he kept talking about Lan Wangji. A-Yuan himself said that Lan Wangji is his father/brother figure, which means that HE IS a big part of A-Yuan growing up. Look, just because the director didn’t show it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Who says that a man can’t show love and affection to a child just because he’s injured?

Lan Wangji leaving Wei Wuxian at the end wasn’t uncharacteristic. He doesn’t deserve the hate he gets because of that.

Y’all hated Lan Wangji for leaving Wei Wuxian in the end. It’s probably censorship, I agree. But for me, it wasn’t uncharacteristic. I wish you all to stop being WangXian-centered for a while and think of what just happened. Lan Xichen is currently experiencing a very devastating heartbreak. I think the reason why Lan Wangji couldn’t leave with Wei Wuxian was because he wanted to take care of his brother. Y’all hated MDZS Lan Wangji for leaving Lan Xichen just like that when he’s experiencing what Lan Wangji experienced 13/16 years ago but now that CQL Lan Wangji prioritized Lan Xichen, y’all still hated him? Whatever Lan Wangji does, he always gets hated, doesn’t he?

Lan Wangji is very dedicated to Wei Wuxian but let’s not forget that he still has a life outside Wei Wuxian. The reason why he was able to let Wei Wuxian go on his own was because Wei Wuxian’s life wasn’t in immediate danger anymore. He wasn’t a target anymore since the entire world probably heard of the news already that Wei Wuxian was actually innocent. Lan Wangji had to take care of his brother. He had to take up the role of being the sect leader. And he became the Chief Cultivator, which majority of you think is uncharacteristic. I don’t really have a say about him being the Chief Cultivator but please stop limiting Lan Wangji to what you’ve seen him capable of doing. He is surely capable of growth.

FOR THE LAST TIME: THIS IS CQL ONLY.

[tafeja]

I feel so so so insane. I do not usually ship rarepairs, but now I am suddenly extremely invested in a pairing with no content.

So let me pitch it for you, maybe somebody will be able to see it my way, and will want to chip it too.

It's Lan Sizhui/Wei Wuxian (mdzs). Wait, no, don't go away! I know that when Lan Sizhui was very little Wei Wuxian was in a sort of parental role, he played with him, regularly babysat him, was called gege and joked a few times about being the kid's parent. And it is easy to lean into that. I myself like stories when he literally adopts Wen Yuan. (And when I said that there is no content, I lied a bit, it's just that all of this content leans into pseudo-incestual vibes, and that is not what I want from the pairing). But it is not the only possible angle, especially considering that when they meet again for the first time they don't know each other and start from a new page.

Ok, so first of all, after Wei Wuxian' resurrection they are pretty close in age. Much closer than Wei Wuxian is with anyone from his generation, Jiang Cheng or Lan Zhan. It doesn't take a lot of stretching of the canon to say that Lan Sizhui is 18 (though 16-17 is more likely, for my purposes he is 18) and Wei Wuxian is 21 (I think he is between 21-23, but again, he can be 21)

And now, the concept:

Lan Sizhui is gay (cutsleeve), knows it already for some time, but doesn't share it with anyone for obvious reasons (yes, not even Lan Jingyi). He doesn't have any sort of gay-radar, and even though he knows that people like him exist in theory, he's never met any of them. So meeting Mo Xuanyu for the first time is a bit... interesting. He is quite a bit strange and his family treats him badly, so Lan Sizhui mostly feels pity than something else. And then night hunt turns more dangerous than was expected, and the disciples get over their heads. And then Mo Xuanyu suddenly takes the lead. He is very confident and he knows what he's doing. He is not lost (like Sizhui is). He is unexpectedly competent. And even though he is still a little weird, Mo Xuanyu isn't ashamed or afraid of being himself, it is also an attractive quality. So at this moment Lan Sizhui catches a crush on "Mo Xuanyu". But as soon as Lan Sizhui realises it, Mo Xuanyu disappears without a trace... Now they probably won't meet each other ever again...

But unexpectedly they meet again literally the next day!!! Lan Sizhui is very happy and excited. Mo Xuanyu once again puts himself in a leader's position and saves the day. He takes Sizhui's sword to make his flute! Then there is this whole situation with him maybe being Yiling Patriarch, Lan Sizhui tries to verbally defend him against Jiang Cheng. The whole Dafan Montain ends with several things happening simultaneously:

1) Mo Xuanyu again with no shame and in front of many influential cultivators openly talks about liking men

2) He says that he likes Lan Sizhui's teacher/parental figure (rip)

3) Lan Sizhui's crush goes with them home to Gusu Lan (❤️❤️❤️!!!)

4) against his will... (double rip)

Lan Sizhui sees that Lan Jingyi treats Mo Xuanyu normally, doesn't judge him specifically for being gay, so he is a bit less afraid and decides to share with him. Lan Jingyi is very supportive of him. He tells Sizhui to "go for it" and tells him that he totally has a chance with Mo Xuanyu. The rest of the story he acts as a professional wingman, always talks Lan Sizhui up in front of Wui Wuxian.

Lan Sizhui feels more confident with a crush on Mo Xuanyu than he would be with a crush on somebody else. Yes, he seems to like Hanguang-jun, but it doesn't seem that serious and Hanguang-jun doesn't like men (obviously), and at the very least Sizhui is sure that Mo Xuanyu likes men and wouldn't judge him for the same if he decided to confess.

For Jiang Cheng, when he finds out about Lan Sizhui/Wei Wuxian, it would seem even more that Wei Wuxian moved on. It's not a continuation of whatever's been before, Wei Wuxian starts new life and completely new relationships with new people.

When Wei Wuxian and Lan Sizhui find out about how they knew each other before, it would be a bit awkward for them, but they'd be fine. On the other han, Lan Wangji would freak out privately. I believe that he totally liked to imagine Lan Sizhui as his and Wei Wuxian's child.

Feel free to add anything, talk to me about the pairing, take any ideas from this post and run with them, link me any works with this pairing (no incest though)

[worriedvision]

He returns home injured - Jing Yuan [SPOILERS]

Gender neutral reader, angst ending. Reader and Jong Yuan are a couple, but have been arguing frequently about him going into battle. Spoilers for the Most recent story here, especially at the end. This has got spoilers, keep this in mind before reading this!

--

"Oh come on! We talked about this." You huff, brewing your medicine for your boyfriend who had, once again, become harmed.

"Darling, you know my job is dangerous. As a doctor, I'm sure you've seen much worse." Jing yuan replies, sitting up from his bed.

"Which is why I can't stand the idea of you becoming like them!" You tut once more, handing the fresh brew to your boyfriend. He takes his medicine, and then responds.

"Well maybe if it concerns you so much, we need to stop seeing each other," Jing yuan hums out, you shaking your head at his idea.

"I love you, is it so difficult to at least take more care?" You cross your arms.

"I'm just saying, it seems like we have different plans for the future." Jing yuan shrugs, placing the now empty cup on a nearby coaster. "I don't plan on leaving my work for you, I enjoy it too much. I also would not want you to leave your job, for I understand the importance of your role."

Arguments always went like that. You two would land up staying together, but with every time he got harmed, you got more frustrated at his reckless actions.

It was only after an encounter with Dan Heng, the man that fought alongside Jing Yuan for a while, that you realised this wasn't ideal for either of you.

--

Jing Yuan was taken home, you were notified at work he was unconscious and he needed care provided. This was, admittedly, the first time you heard an urgent need for care from him. You had time to think things through, and with a heavy heart you knew things were over. The last thing you wanted was for him to think about your feelings during work, the possibility of him screwing up in battle due to your protectiveness as a lover, it made your chest feel heavy.

So, you sent the doctor that was as qualified as you were to look after him, along with the notes you curated, and the address for your home. Dan Heng himself decided to pay a visit to your office when you sent someone else over, knowing you were the only doctor Jing Yuan was seen by.

--

"Doctor _, may I have a word?" Dan Heng requests, you letting out an affirmative hum as he enters, closing the door behind him. "Forgive me for my forwardness, but are you and Jing Yuan alright? I was worried when I saw another doctor was there."

"...We will be. I plan on breaking up with him. We've had many arguments, and it's all been about him getting hurt." You explain, clearing your throat to continue. "After hearing he lost consciousness, I can't help but fear he made a mistake in a fight due to worrying about how I would react."

"The General made no mistake in the fight. In fact, he is as well as he could be after what we fought." Dan Heng replies. "I've been around you two enough to get the issues, however I still feel that love he has for you."

"Please, this isn't easy for me." You sigh, standing up. "It isn't ideal, the dynamic we have. We have only been fighting when we have seen each other lately, and the argument never resolves."

"...This is going to be very hard on him," Dan Heng states, hoping you would at least try to iron some of the issues out.

"The relationship isn't healthy for either of us," You state, Dan Heng nodding in understanding as he stands up, preparing to thank you before leaving. "Could you give this to him? I'm not brave enough to break up with him in person, and I'm sure he would prefer reading it instead of hearing it."

"...Very well." Dan Heng nods. "Thank you for healing not only him, but myself, over the decades."

[moononmyfloor]

My Year End C-drama Review (2023)

Part 1

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17. Actors I newly discovered in 2023

Hong Yao, Wang Yinglu, Marcus Li, Tian Jiarui, Qin Hailu, Wang Ke

Some of these are new actors, some are already very experienced but I discovered only now. All of them provided phenomenal performances in their roles this year.

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18. Favorite Child Actors of the Year

Wang Haoze (Ou Zimo- Be Your Own Light), Phoebe Sun Yichen (Duoduo- Stay With Me)

Child actors in C-ent always baffle me, I have zero idea how they are SO good. Impeccable performance. I want to take them home. 🥺

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19. Feminist Cdramas of the year

Be Your Own Light, A Journey to Love

The premise of the first is about women to begin with, the second only partially. Most of the time the self-identifying feminist stories fail massively in realistic depiction of women, let alone idol dramas where the focus is elsewhere.

But these two shows really understood what women think and say, their priorities and what they want in life, how they conduct themselves....and not through the eyes of men who assume women crave xyz things only. The arcs and growths of women in these two shows felt very organic and relatable.

(I hear there were few other such dramas this year as well, eg: Faithful. But this is all I managed to watch huhu)

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20. A drama that let me down

Destined

The chemistry of the real-life pair Bai Jingting and Song Yi was adorable, but the story just wasn't my cup of tea.

I absolutely loved their spacious bedroom tho!

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21. Favorite BGM

Be Your Own Light- I Only Wish to Face the Light by Liu Yuning

Stay with Me- Stars Shine by Zhang Jiongmin, Xu Bin

I Am Nobody- Sea of Time by Zhou Shen

Young Blood 2- Lending a Ray of Light by WineQ (圈9)

Romance On the Farm- Letters from Spring by Su Yunying

Silence of the Monster- Cross a City Just to See You by Huang Yi

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22. Favorite wardrobes

Sui Yi (Sun Yihan)'s wardrobe in Silence of the Monster and Pang Hongmei (Peng Xiaoran)'s fits in Unshakable Faith

Oh they looked so delightfully vintage and exactly my style! 😍

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23. Best Breakups

Moxi and Jiagui (Gone With the Rain), Xiangyi and Wanmian (Mysterious Lotus Casebook)

I HAD to include this category simply because of these two pairs. I LOVED those two scenes. So mature! Such thorough discussion about how their feelings have changed over time, the frank admission that there are indeed some remnants left (because contrary to popular depiction, feelings don't POOF overnight), how they'd always consider the other as a special someone that they were lucky to have met in their lives, the wish to remain as tight friends in the future as well.... 🤌🤌🤌👏👏👏

.

24. Worst character designs

Road Home

Gods know I only sat through this for Jing Boran in army gear and snow. The characters were so mind-blowingly flat despite the actors giving their best to "understand" their roles and make them relatable but there was only so much they could do. All the interpersonal relationships happened just because the writer said so. There was a child character who was passed from hand to hand for whenever the writer wanted a "warm childcaring and family moment" but was discarded without a glance the next second, I got second-hand abandonment issues from watching that lonely kid. I did not understand why anyone was doing anything at any given moment.

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25. Most convincing villains aka characters I loved to hate

Yuan Hao (Young Blood 2)- Gotta be one of the most dangerous villains I have ever seen. He was insanely smart, unpredictable and cunning AND strong, and it took all the heroes of the story to defeat him and still it was barely enough. He was so well written and portrayed, till the very end of the show the viewers weren't sure of the outcome of the battle.

Jiao Liqiao (Mysterious Lotus Casebook)- AHH Jiao jie! We all love a good unhinged female villain who isn't uwufied in the name of some weird "women should always be portrayed with tearjerking backstory" notion. Let her go crazy all over the place, we support women's wrongs as well as rights! She always meant what she said and did what she meant and it was terrifying to see.

.

26. Favorite murder kittens of the year

Gong Yuanzhi (My Journey to You), Li Tongguang (A Journey to Love)

Oh these two bois were VERY disturbing individuals and I wouldn't go within 1 mile radius around them but were them such delightful affection starved meow meows with killer (ha!) hair and eye acting? Heck yes.

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27. A drama that I wished was longer

Romance On the Farm

I really appreciate how 3D and empathetically portrayed all the family members are. We are shown all their sides and what made them what they are today without making a mockery of Asian family values, but rather constructively analysing + celebrating the good parts.

And then there is a political thriller story arc.

And then there is "this is all but a game" part which I had to try very hard to pretend like it's ignorable.

And then there was the basic premiere of the pastoral country life story.

Clearly the dramamakers had LOTS of ideas. And you can see none of them were empty bite-more-than-can-chews but had actual potential.

If only.... it didn't try to do all this at once under the guise of a 26 ep lighthearted fluffy romcom genre.... it would've made such a difference.

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28. A drama I wanted to watch but couldn't

SO many! For all sorts of reasons.

Ray of Light, Butterflied Lover, The Road to Ordinary, Pledge of Allegiance, Where Dreams Begin, There Will Be Ample Time, Faithful, Stand By Me

ARGH!😭

.

29. A drama I wish more people watched

Stay With Me

This is a Chinese BL, with Chinese cast, Chinese locations, but produced by a TW company. That's all I'm going to say about it, give it a try. You won't regret it. (Maybe don't watch last episode tho lol)

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30. Most favorite Cdrama of 2023

Mysterious Lotus Casebook

Why? Because... well if you are in the fandom you'd know, if you aren't... I can write ESSAYS about it so I won't 😂 In short, it was such a healing watch.

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31. A Cdrama I'm excited to see in 2024

JOL 2. Obviously.

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Conclusion

2023 served to solidify my belief that there's really no 'perfect' drama, what I can do is listening to the stories people have to share and then take what I want from them, and leave what I don't want behind. Some may resonate more with me, some less. Some may teach me new things, some may feel redundant. Sometimes you will enjoy only 50% of a drama and hate the rest, but that won't diminish the impact that 50% had on you. It could be a totally different experience for another viewer and that's fine. I watched all the DMBJ shows this year as well (but didn't speak about them in this list since my focus was on 2023) and it really was an exercise on not being overly critical and going with the flow or you would totally miss out on all the good things DMBJ had to bring.

Overall I enjoyed 2023 Cdramaland a lot. I hope this review helped some of you to try out dramas that you didn't know existed/were hesitant to press play or continue on!

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More Posts by Me

[stardust-falling]

Hello.... Can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from SVSSS? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the series? Thanks if you want to answer....

Top 5 favorite characters:

1 - Shen Jiu 2/3 - Yue Qingyuan, Shen Yuan 4/5 - Luo Binghe, Gongyi Xiao

Honestly, it's super hard to decide my favorites, hence the 2/3, 4/5 here lmao. Depending on the meaning of "like" I really don't dislike any SV characters (obviously OPM, QJL, WYZ can go get fucked if we're talking about emotional affection/blorbofication, but I do still enjoy them in a meta sense for their roles in the story). But because SJ is both my favorite in terms of "I feel affection for this character and he is my little scrungly blorbo" as well as "I want to study him under a microscope like a bug" he gets the top spot easily.

Top five favorite moments is pretty hard too, since things are my favorite for different reasons... So I'll pick my favorite scenes for analysis, not necessarily for emotional reaction or attachment, in no particular order. Going under a cut because I rambled, as usual:

I really, really like the entire Holy Mausoleum arc, but I specifically like the part where SQQ and LBH are confronted by OPM and QHT. I feel like it's here that we can really see beneath the unreliable narrator and actually see that SQQ truly does love LBH back. Holy Mausoleum in general just says a lot about Bingqiu without saying it directly, and I do encourage everyone who thinks that SQQ doesn't actually love LBH back please reread that part while looking for it because damn, SQQ's narration tries to hide how much he actually cares for this boy.

Qijiu extras, the scene in the Lingxi caves. Between SJ's paranoid and irrational internal monologue that shows that despite everything, he really doesn't actually see himself as he is or as a legitimate peak lord, Yue Qingyuan's appearance at a critical moment to keep SJ from spiralling past the point of no return (contrasting this to his inability to return to Qiu Manor in time), the fact that even though they are not on good terms, YQY is still able to calm SJ down from qi deviation, and that SJ tolerates both his presence and his touch, it shows a lot that despite his paranoia and his hurt, a part of Shen Jiu still trusts Yue Qingyuan. The fact that it's revealed that they're in the very cave that YQY was trapped in with Xuan Su is just the icing on the cake... the truth is laid out before them, just a step from being revealed, but still isn't... I just think this scene really is so important to show how 79's relationship stands on a deep level, both the trust that is still there as well as the barriers.

Skinner demon confrontation, after they're captured. The irony of the first mission being to take down a demon that's literally wearing someone else's identity as their own is great. There's also Luo Binghe's sexual awakening upon seeing SQQ shirtless, which is honestly quite funny to me as an ace person. But my favorite thing, I think, is the way that SQQ sets up Die'er's defeat by using LBH as bait which, while it is successful due to the genre's conventions, also makes Luo Binghe's trust waver... it sort of sets the tone for the entire emotional conflict of the novel. Despite SQQ knowing that LBH will be fine, since it has all been decreed by plot, he underestimates how much it will hurt him-- and he's thinking about hurting LBH in terms of how it will affect SQQ himself later on, rather than LBH's own pain. Then, afterwards, SQQ leaves LBH behind to go into seclusion, he gives LBH the new manual but doesn't move him out of the woodshed, and there's no indication that Ming Fan's bullying stopped during that time either. When SQQ returns, he ends up sacrificing himself and taking the poisoned hit for LBH... in a way this all just parallels the actual plot of the novel in short-form and I think that's very, very neat.

The water prison arc-- everything from LBH's visit where he stops LPM from attacking SQQ, where SQQ refuses to answer LBH's question because of his inaccurate perception of the situation, LBH's volatile emotions in this sequence, Gongyi Xiao's assumptions that LBH had assaulted SQQ and SQQ's complete obliviousness to that possibility, plus just GYX being the best boy ever tbh, he doesn't deserve to live in this messed up book and certainly doesn't deserve to die. This sequence has so much about how inaccurate perceptions of situations can lead to wildly off-base interpretations and how a lack of proper communication can escalate a conflict where it really didn't need to escalate. The "perceptions and interpretations vs. reality" idea is another major theme in SV, and this sequence really showcases a lot of that in a clear way.

Maigu Ridge. This one's controversial. A lot of people have a lot of opinions about it and let me just make a disclaimer that I'm not including this one because I enjoyed reading it on an emotional level. Maigu Ridge is FUCKED UP!! It's a massively fucked up situation for all parties! It's uncomfortable, and definitely something that warrants a trigger warning before reading the book-- and yet, it's so interesting to analyze from a hypothetical standpoint because the situation is just so, so messy in terms of who gives consent and who doesn't-- and does anyone really have the option to consent here, since both parties are under the complete control of the narrative-- in terms of who hurts who, etc. There are a lot of little details to debate, and of course there's the instant, knee-jerk surface reaction that people get, which I can totally understand especially if you didn't go in expecting this sort of scene and ended up getting triggered by it, but once you start to peel back the layers you can actually find that this scene is way more complicated than 'one party as the aggressor/one party as the victim.' It's a deconstruction and subversion of tropes, but also a really interesting place to analyze themes of consent as a whole, and the effects on the individuals involved. For this, honestly, people just need to remember that these are fictional characters. It's not saying anything about IRL survivors, and I'm a major proponent of considering massively fucked up situations through a fictional lens in order to understand the shades of gray that may exist in similar but less-extreme situations in real life, without the possibility of your deliberations causing harm to any party since in the fictional scenario, since none of the characters are real (I can't even begin to tell you how much of my own trauma I've processed based on extreme fictional scenarios). But on the flip side, if the scene upsets you or triggers you, it's perfectly valid to dislike it! It's also perfectly valid for you to dislike the Bingqiu relationship because of it! It's not for everyone and I completely get that, but also, keep in mind that people analyzing the scene in different ways doesn't have anything to do with how they'd react to real-life situations. It's all about what works best for each person.

Anyway that last one got really long, just because I've seen so much knee-jerk reaction in fandom with it and tbh, I feel like I have to cover my bases these days.

A lot of people say that SVSSS is less well-written than MXTX's other books, and while it does have issues, I wouldn't say that the book isn't well-written. I have no idea how much of what I talked about in those scenes above is deliberately intentional storytelling and how much just sort of happened, but those are just some of the reasons that I really do think it's actually a very good book, genuinely, and not the only scenes at that, I just limited to five here.

I hope you enjoyed reading all my ramblings-- SVSSS brainrot is real and the hyperfixation is going strong haha.

[tireddemi]

*crashes AGAIN into your asks*

I can ask anything I want??? Hmmm, perfect!

Okay, so, I don't know if this counts as spoilers or not, but ever since Tianlang-Jun brought up the topic of grandchildren, I have been thinking...

Okay, so I don't actually know whether the story will include mpreg or not (and I'm not gonna demand it either way), I usually assume yes in Omegaverse stories, but since the fic didn't feature that tag, I won't, BUT, I have to admit that I have been thinking about the idea, and SPECIFICALLY, because of the last chapter, I have been thinking of the idea of all the new little ducklings (disciples) just crowding around a new baby (I'm a sucker for baby girls). I can already imagine Xu Lian, the youngest baby, immediatly taking the role of big sister and teaching sign language to the baby.

I'm a sucker for baby fics, okay??? Even if it won't be canon, it's fun and cute to think about!

but back to the actual story: We already have the horse, the snake and the ember lion (I only remember the name Huo Qiang, please forgive me), BUT will LQG and LHB truly not give their pretty omega more beasts??? specially with how happy he gets with them and how they all seem to immediatly swear fealty for him??? He needs a celestial dragon, something for the Palace Master to fume over in the corner. He is a natural disney princess and should be treated as such!

Speaking of the Palace Master, fuck that guy! Fuck him straight to hell! Need something to pluck the Little Palace Mistress from there and place her in Ling Shou so she gets dirty and has FUN while doing it, like a normal kid! Before the spoilness sets too deep! SHE'S STILL YOUNG ENOUGH TO BE SAVED.

Also, where the fuck are LQG and LBH??? I have questions and they better have the answers!

Okay, I think I have more things to ask about, but this is all for now, thank you so much for your fic! All your updates make me very happy!

A baby in the future???? Me???? I could never 🤭

(I already have the names picked out. SY might just have to suffer through it a bit for Tianlang-Jun's quadruplets like he wanted)

Shen Yuan definitely deserves as many spiritual beasts as he can get a hold of! And I can promise you, there will be many more to come. He just has that instant Disney princess--wife beam that makes anything potentially dangerous or deadly think

: You know what, we like this guy. This is one cool-as-shit guy.

The recon mission to save the Little Palace Mistress and Gongyi Xiao would be approved by Shen Yuan and all of Ling Shou once they heard about the Old Palace Master (He'd have a hoard of children biting at his ankles within the moment.)

We shall soon see where Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge are! If you have any more questions, feel free to ask away!

[cursed-angelic-art]

For the ship ask game and the crackhead ships I find hilarious and interesting:

BingLiu

LiuShang

MoBing

JiuYuan

(I think they're funny and silly)

Oh man, this'll be a long one. Tysm for the ask! I think as a disclaimer for these asks, to get it out of the way; I can't really conceptualize any of these ships without Bingqiu and Moshang still there, lurking. I try to think of just the ship at hand, but the uninvolved characters from each of these pairing are still coloring my perception of each ship listed.

Bingliu

Ship It

What made you ship it? Honestly it's just the antagonism. I'd like to read some UST into it. Also, while I believe Shen Yuan is narratively the best person for Luo Binghe (on account of him caring so much about LBH and about him having a good story), I think from Luo Binghe's pov, he just needed someone to step in at the right moment and care for him. I like to entertain an au idea of LQG being in the wrong place at the right time and blundering into stopping LBH from being abused, leading to LBH's lifelong obsession with his Shishu.

What are your favorite things about the ship? Literally the enmity. Being at each other's throats for five years, fighting over a dead man, does something to a person.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? Idk what's unpopular since I haven't spent much time on just these two. I think if it weren't for sqq, these two wouldn't need much to warm up to each other? At least from Luo Binghe's end. He values loyalty and strength. Liu Qingge is a harder nut to crack imo. It would depend on the circumstances.

Liushang

Ship It (Somewhat)

What made you ship it? From the little fanwork I've seen, I think it could be viable and fun.

What are your favorite things about the ship? Mostly just Shang Qinghua finding more stability among the peak lords and being taken care of. Having someone on his side who is explicitly loyal to him and cares about him more overtly. Idk how things fall that Liu Qingge would end up taking on that role, but I believe it could happen.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? Not really, because I haven't explored this ship much.

Mobing Don’t Ship It

Why don’t you ship it? I just see these guys as coworkers/friends, but not even super close friends. Binghe is kind of a young upstart/apprentice to Mobei-jun, and I just struggle to see Mobei going for that??

What would have made you like it? Probably a talented fic author. I'm willing to read any ship, and I think if an author set things up such that Mobei sees in Binghe some of the parts he's attracted to in SQH, but in like early PIDW canon, I could be invested. Beyond fanwork, I think maybe if canon showed them interacting a bit more, that would have helped.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it? There's loyalty, there's hot guys, there's committing atrocities together. I can see why people ship it for sure.

Jiuyuan Don’t Ship It

Why don’t you ship it? I think I just struggle to see it conceptually? It's hard for me to reckon with Shen Yuan falling for someone who hurt Binghe. That said, I still enjoy some fancontent for it. AU stuff can be really creative in a way that makes me enjoy it on occasion, but I tend to gravitate towards canon compliant or canon divergence type fics.

What would have made you like it? Honestly, outside of enjoying fanwork and aus about, I can't really think of something that could be changed about the canon, that would have made me invested. Maybe if Shen Yuan was at all haunted by Shen Jiu's corpse, that would be really zesty, but would also have changed a lot about the story. I'd def read an au about that though.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it? I do think that Shen Yuan comes to have very mixed feelings about the previous SQQ, and could be persuaded to care for him more than pity him. In an au, I can see this being a basis for something. I don't think that something would necessarily be healthy, but are any of the pairings in this book? I think an au where they're both inhabiting the body together could be a really fun way of smooshing them together where they have to become wholly invested in each other.

Ship/Don't Ship Ask Game

[likes-words-and-shrimp]

Chapters: 7/7 Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving Characters: Lloyd Irving, Colette Brunel, Genis Sage, Raine Sage, Zelos Wilder, Sheena Fujibayashi, Regal Bryant, Presea Combatir, Kratos Aurion, Yuan Ka-Fai, Dirk (Tales of Symphonia), Frank Brunel Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Wingfic, Eventual Romance, Mutual Pining, Self-Acceptance, Happy Ending, POV Multiple, Body Horror, Transformation Words: 36,180 Summary:

Lloyd had never been too fond of his wings. But they were still useful, and convenient when they needed to be. It only made sense to use what he had. Until his wings changed one night, and became permanent, with real feathers attached to bone. And they were heavy.

Looking back on 2023, I think one fic I'm really proud of writing is this one, a multichapter Symphonia fic I was able to complete, with a focus on Lloyd and his wings taking on a different transformation. It's seven chapters of Lloyd and Colette dealing with the painful and difficult changes, but also the rest of the party helping them on this new shift in their journey. If you decide to read it, I hope you enjoy!

Just have some more additional thoughts for this fic under the cut:

Since this year for Colloyd Week was going to be its 5th year running, and it was also Symphonia's 20th anniversary, me and @frayed-symphony wanted to do something a bit more special with the prompts this time. We decided to bring back some prompts from previous weeks while still using a new quote day and the usual free day. (Here's the prompt list with her art which everyone should see) With that in mind, I also wanted to do something a bit different for myself writing-wise, and tell a story over the course of each of the prompts!

The tidbit about mana wings eventually becoming more feathered versions is actually a bit of lore taken from the Kratos novel. Essentially, if an angel uses it for too long, the wings will become a permanent part of the body, the mana solidifying into feathers. That's why we see a lot of angels in Welgaia floating about with feathered wings, and explains why Kratos, Yuan and Mithos don't keep theirs out consistently. And the reason for the title, it's from the Lloyd's Thoughts on Angels skit because I thought it would be fun to make all those angelic issues relevant for this fic.

I really wanted to use this bit of canon lore for Lloyd, and whether it's an effect of his unique Exsphere, or anything else, his wings succumb to the same transformation. But, well, it's more than just the wings changing here.

I also wanted to play more with Lloyd's self-consciousness here and the guilt he probably still carries with him when he failed to notice Colette suffering in time. Lloyd is also the unifying force for the party where he helps inspire and lift them up from each member's own troubles, but I also wanted to see this reversed while Lloyd is going through his own baggage and past traumas. It was also more interesting to write about Lloyd going through physical changes the way Colette did in the game and have that comfort role-reversed.

A lot of this fic was a learning process! The wings in Symphonia are just a favorite aesthetic for me, and learning about how they can change was really intriguing, so much of this fic centered around the Wings prompt. I was also planning on having everyone play a part with the Soulmates prompt, which I felt was fitting for Symphonia's anniversary year. Much of the later half of the story came as it went, like with the focus on Dirk, and the very last chapter that's a few years in the future, where Lloyd has a better handle on who he is now.

Change itself is also something I just wanted to focus on overall; how we change as people, or how our loved ones change over time. And sometimes change is frightening, but it can also be exciting and learning to accept and welcome it can also feel rewarding in the end. I think I wanted to show that in this fic, though how well I succeeded kinda depends on the reading, and maybe I was heavy-handed with the wings metaphor haha.

But also, I just wanted to write a longer cute ship fic of my OTP. That's another reason. :D

Compared to most chaptered fics, this isn't very long, but I like that it's contained enough at just over 36k. I still have other Symphonia WIPs I want to finish, but I'm really proud of completing this one, and a big thank you to those who've read and commented on this fic! Symphonia has always been special to me and I'm glad I could celebrate both the game and my favorite ship this way.

Around the new year, I'll probably make a Symphonic fic recs list for stories I've read this year. If you read this far, hope you'll look forward to it!

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: hold the bright moon in my arms, ch. 3

Relationships: Niè Huáisāng & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

Characters: Niè Huáisāng, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Original Characters, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī

Additional Tags: Pining, Feelings Realization, Illnesses, ennui, Found Family, Porn Reading, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Manipulative Niè Huáisāng, Memories, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn Needs a Hug, Post-Canon, Pining Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Friendship, Niè Huáisāng Is A Little Shit, POV Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, POV Third Person, Qi Deviation, Resentful Energy, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Panic Attacks, Triggers, Fainting

Summary: Lan Wangji arrives in Qinghe.

Notes: see end

First fic

1-2

AO3 link

—————

The healers only made him stay in bed for a day before clearing him to all activities except working with resentful energy, which frustrated Wei Wuxian because it meant he couldn’t do any research on the Nie curse, though Nie Huaisang waved off his apologies and said it was his own fault for causing a qi deviation.

On the bright side, Nie Huaisang’s cooks made amazing dishes even when focusing on yin foods, often using neutral spices like saffron and coriander, along with nice soy-based sauces that were flavorful and delicious, very different from food at the Cloud Recesses. He still missed the spiciness of yang foods, but he came away from meals satisfied. The cooks even gave him bags of salted and spiced crunchy dried mushrooms that kept him sated between meals.

Bed rest had been pure hell, giving him far too much time to think about all the hints that he had failed to pick up on over the years about Lan Zhan’s feelings, even times when he likely hurt him in his ignorance, and the problem of the curse would have given him distraction from intrusive thoughts and feelings.

He spent time in the crèche playing with toddlers and telling silly stories, often based on the ones he’d grown up with in Yunmeng, but others based on people he knew and considered fine role models, like A-Yuan and Wen Ning and Lan Zhan.

Wei Wuxian spent time with Nie Huaisang during meals and breaks in his days, though his old friend was testing his patience with pointed gifts left in his quarters. When he’d tried confronting him, he put on his Headshaker mask and pleaded innocent, then attempted to distract him. Worse, the distraction usually worked, to Wei Wuxian’s embarrassment.

He harassed Nie Hengxiang and Nie Yingwei to take him to market, which backfired because he kept noticing bunny figurines or art, and even items with cloud motifs. As if that wasn’t bad enough, apparently the two of them had been told to buy anything Wei Wuxian so much as looked interested in, so his quarters were now decorated with bunnies and clouds, and it kept reminding him of Lan Zhan.

Other than that, he spent time generally wandering the grounds looking for something to do. After a few days a Nie instructor, perhaps taking pity on him, asked him to speak with a class of juniors, which was a very welcome distraction even if he expected they’d want stories about the war or the Yiling Patriarch.

To his surprise, they actually wanted to know what happened when he and Lan Zhan defeated the Xuanwu of Slaughter, delightfully focused and interested in defeating resentful beasts like true Nies.

He had just gotten to the point where he and Lan Zhan were trapped alone in the cave with the Xuanwu guarding their only way out, swordless and without food or water, both injured, with no rescue on the way, when Nie Huaisang came rushing in, looking a bit frantic. Wei Wuxian immediately found a way to pause the story.

“As an exercise, I want all of you to brainstorm what you might do in such a situation before I finish telling you what happened,” he told the students.

They immediately grouped together to do as asked, and the instructor looked pleased, so Wei Wuxian was able to quickly pull Nie Huaisang out into the hall.

“Hanguang-Jun is here,” Nie Huaisang hissed before he could even start to wonder what had him so frantic.

Wei Wuxian had to lean against the corridor wall for a second. He'd expected this as soon as he’d goaded Nie Huaisang into sending the letter—if he was telling the truth about what he’d heard Lan Xichen confide to his brother.

He knew he had to meet with Lan Zhan and talk to him, but he hadn’t expected him so quickly—the missive requesting the texts couldn’t have reached the Cloud Recesses before yesterday, and to get here that fast he must have left immediately. Meaning the Chief Cultivator had dropped everything to fly through the night at top speed to get here so quickly, which gave credence to the idea that Lan Zhan felt as Nie Huaisang said he did.

Even still, he couldn’t bring himself to think the words directly, despite having had dreams featuring him coming home to a small cottage with a basket of produce for dinner to Lan Zhan working at a loom while waiting for him; it wasn’t the only dream he’d had but some of them he blamed Nie Huaisang for. Nie Huaisang, who had left educational cutsleeve porn and lube in his quarters that gave him the sort of dreams he used to have as a teenager before everything went to shit but far more vivid and very centered around Lan Zhan, and then feigned innocence because he was a meddling asshole.

So Wei Wuxian felt justified saying, “Let him know I’m talking to a class of juniors, and I’ll join you in the garden with the fountains when I’m done,” and going back into the classroom, leaving his old friend to deal with Lan Zhan for a bit while he collected himself.

And anyway, Lan Zhan likely wanted to know about his health first, and Nie Huaisang could deal with that conversation.

Nie Huaisang whined “But Wei-xiong!” after him, but Wei Wuxian ignored him and he didn’t come back into the classroom.

He used the results of the exercise to distract himself from the beating of his own heart, the thrill and anxiety that Lan Zhan was here, letting the disciples share the ideas each group came up with for handling such a situation. Interestingly, one group’s idea included a more thorough search of the cave for either exits or weak spots to break through—a retreat for reinforcements and weapons. Wei Wuxian was pleased to see level heads, and a focus beyond killing the legendary beast.

“Sadly,” he told them, “there were no other entrances, and the cave led back and down into the mountain, so we couldn’t find any other way to escape but through the Xuanwu.”

Without access to the typical tools for fighting resentful creatures and monsters, many of the groups came up blank, though one trusted that their fellows who escaped would return and said they would settle in to practice inedia as far from the Xuanwu as possible, which Wei Ying had to admit would have probably been smarter than trying to kill it with limited options. Years later, it was easy to see how they could have avoided attacking the Xuanwu, but they had also been exhausted and injured, and the attack on the Cloud Recesses had weighed on them both, including the idea for Wei Wuxian that Lotus Pier could be next, which ultimately was the case.

He caved to the disciples’ pleas and continued the tale, registering their horror at the idea of going into the Xuanwu’s shell, and at him ultimately ending up in its mouth, clinging to a sword to keep from being eaten for the six hours it took for the thing to die. He made sure to omit the resentment in the sword—few knew even now where the Yin Tiger Seal came from and he had no intention of changing that.

“Honestly, Lan Zhan did most of the work. His hands were so torn up after, I remember.”

“But Wei-qianbei, you went into the shell,” one pupil protested. “Without you, the Chief Cultivator couldn’t have killed the Xuanwu.”

The disciple was so earnest, his brows furrowed, and Wei Wuxian was reminded poignantly of the ducklings.

“True, but without him, I would have been eaten,” he sayid patiently. “Lan Zhan killed it.”

“We killed it together,” a familiar voice interjected.

Wei Wuxian felt his heart squeeze at Lan Zhan’s voice, and realized he’d somehow never noticed that he always felt like that—stupid that he’d never realized—and he turned and leveled a bright smile in his direction. The disciples scrambled to their feet to greet the Chief Cultivator, and he used the furor to study him, noting he seemed tired, more tired than he seemed even when they had been gallivanting across the jianghu seeking the scattered parts of Nie Mingjue’s body and soul, and he hoped at least Lan Jingyi was helping him with his duties with A-Yuan in Qishan paying respects to his birth family.

Nie Huaisang played dirty, bringing Lan Zhan here, and just to prove it he stuck his tongue out at Wei Wuxian while hiding his face from the rest of the room with his fan. Jerk.

“So we did,” Wei Wuxian relented after things had settled, then turned to the disciples, “though the battle sealed the exit and left us trapped still anyway. Fortunately, those who escaped before us came back with reinforcements and freed us.”

Soft footsteps padded to his side, and he could feel Lan Zhan’s heat in a way that made him feel almost giddy, along with the almost imperceptible quirk of his lips in a return smile.

The disciples had questions, of course, and Lan Zhan even helped answer them, his words poetically textbook, as minimal as ever, his voice as placid as the Cold Pond, thrumming with similar power, at least to Wei Wuxian.

Standing beside him felt right, left him centered in a way he hadn’t felt since he left Gusu, settled him.

The feeling vanished when a shy-looking disciple asked haltingly, “Wei-qianbei, why didn’t you use resentful energy to defeat the Xuanwu?”

Wei Wuxian could feel Lan Zhan go utterly still beside him, and in a flash Nie Huaisang intruded, clearly worried the question might be taken poorly, his voice carrying an undercurrent of guilt and anger, maybe with the hapless disciple, who wouldn’t have any way to know better with all the rumors about him; the poor boy looked increasingly mortified.

“No,” he said, “it’s a fair question.”

Nie Huaisang stared at him, his eyes darting to Lan Zhan and back. Wei Wuxian didn’t dare turn to see his expression, too busy finding the words to explain without giving details he’d rather not be known. Just trying to find them made his head hurt almost too badly to think, but Lan Zhan’s hand on his upper arm, a light grip to just let him know he was there, helped.

“I hadn’t yet been put in the situation that forced me to learn to wield resentful energy or be consumed by it, so it wasn’t part of my repertoire at that point.”

Complete silence greeted his statement, and his head throbbed with how terribly loud it was.

“War is a terrible thing,” Nie Huaisang finally said, his voice tight, and Wei Wuxian was reminded of how much his old friend knew about what had happened to him.

Wei Wuxian could practically see the questions swirling in the disciples’ minds, further reminders that Nie Huaisang knew his deepest secret, had either a spy who also knew or had spied himself on the scene at Lotus Pier after he’d passed out. He was able to ground himself through Nie Huaisang’s voice, explaining in a rambling sort of way their departure as “meetings, always meetings, you know how it is,” and Lan Zhan’s hand gently squeezing around his upper arm, tugging gently toward the door, a direction he was happy to follow.

Lan Zhan, when he glanced over in the hallway, looked so concerned—how could anyone think he didn’t have expressions?—which implied that Wei Wuxian was probably having a physical reaction to his spiraling thoughts.

“The healing ward is this way,” whispered by Nie Huaisang, confirmed that.

Wei Wuxian checked to make sure he wasn’t bleeding from the nose just to be sure—nothing so obvious as that, thank goodness. Nothing that might upset the junior disciples, but obvious enough to Lan Zhan and Nie Huaisang to be concerned. He could see their concern even through his daze, but he just couldn’t focus. He drifted the rest of the way to the infirmary, letting Lan Zhan lead him.

The healers looked him over, and Nie Huaisang whispered something to the head healer about the Sunshot Campaign, and Wei Wuxian could recall feeling a bit like this but worse during some points back then, but from the resentful energy rather than spiritual—just that connection snapped him more fully present, the understanding that the disciple’s question had sent him mentally back to that time.

Lan Zhan’s hand was still on his upper arm, acting like an anchor to the present, where the head healer was telling Nie Huaisang she wanted him to rest in the ward for a shichen.

“I’m fine,” Wei Wuxian protested.

He was about to go on when Lan Zhan squeezed his arm gently.

“Wei Ying should rest and recover.”

Any excuses he might make evaporated like smoke in the face of Lan Zhan’s concern—Lan Zhan, who had wanted to help him and whom he’d misunderstood, who’d found A-Yuan and rescued and raised him, who had grieved him for sixteen years, and who had rushed to the Unclean Realm in what had to be record time when he’d learned of Wei Wuxian’s qi deviation. All he could do was capitulate with a nod, feeling oddly relieved at the idea of lying down for a bit after what had happened in the classroom, shaky after everything.

Usually he tried to mask it, but Wei Wuxian was so tired of muscling through and forcing himself to pretend he wasn’t exhausted when he was—he’d done it in his first life to the point of his own destruction, and he’d jumped right back into it when Mo Xuanyu brought him back. It was just so much easier to let himself rest when someone else insisted, which was an uncomfortable realization in itself.

“Dinner’s in a shichen anyway,” Nie Huaisang told him softly, “so we can just come back to get you.”

One of the healers escorted him to a private patient bed and had him drink an unpleasantly bitter draught. Lan Zhan stayed beside him, a silent support, the pleasant weight of his hand only leaving his arm when he finally lay down.

Even then, he settled near the bed, pulled his guqin out, and played for him as the medicine kicked in, and Wei Wuxian drifted on familiar notes, a song whose name he was still owed, to sleep.

—————

I know a lot of folks ascribe to the idea that Wei Wuxian is unbothered by his traumas, but trauma doesn’t really work like that. I think he’d LIKE to be unbothered, would like to focus on his actions over what has been done to him. Frankly, I think everyone with trauma wishes that.

But the human brain doesn’t really work like that, and at the end of CQL most of it is unresolved. This is a man whose first thoughts upon coming back to life is “dammit, I’d rather stay dead,” and that’s a form of suicide ideation.

Do I think at the end of Mo Dao Zu Shi Wei Wuxian is happy? Yes. But being happy doesn’t protect us from our prior traumas. They like to pop up in troublesome places, as when Wei Wuxian saw the child at a toy stall and immediately was filled with grief for A-Yuan.

I think he avoids thinking about it as much as possible, but try not to think about the purple elephant in the room. He’d probably have days where he can barely function, regardless of how happy he is with Lan Wangji, and I think Lan Wangji not only accepts it, but coddles him with whatever he needs on those days until he can function again.

My move happened despite a scam in which I lost about $800. I’m not able to work because my mental health is in the nonfunctional right now myself, which is why updates are somewhat slow. On the bright side, I went to a mental health specialist and my meds are tweaked.

But there are days where I’m just empty and want to cry all day, and it’s going to take a while to process everything. For the last 15 years my main identity has been professor, and now that’s gone (whether temporary or permanent), and I don’t know who I am anymore. I used to have multiple projects going on at once and now I can barely do one. Frustrating af.

Glossary:

shichen = 2 hour period

xiong = brother

Many thanks to adrian_kres for the beta!

[shining-gem34]

||Replaying Jingliu/High Cloud Quintet Story Quest on my Asia. I don't think I ever got a chance to talk about my thoughts around it here.

Ignoring the drama around it, I am still a firm believer we will see more of Jingliu/High Cloud Quintet story continue in future patches. After all, the game hasn't been out for long (though it's coming close to a year now) and we have so much of the universe to explore. I do believe we will see the other Xianzhou ships and by then we might see more of Jingliu and Luocha.

That includes possibly more of the history of the High Cloud Quintet, more details of what Dan Feng and Yingxing had done, and Bailu role in all of this because whatever they did- Bailu is related to it. But ah, I'll talk about that in another post. (or rather in future Bailu/Dan Heng IL story quests related to Dan Feng crimes).

Speaking of HCQ,, my heart was very tender to hear Baiheng relationship with the other HCQ members and how important she is to them. She was a bundle of positive energy despite how horrendous her luck is and the reputation that came with it. I adore how she was able to bring the best out of everyone. In the case of Dan Feng, she is a good friend to him who didn't see him for his status but as a person just like anyone else.

For Dan Feng, to have lost an important friend, must've crushed his human heart. Perhaps the last straw with so many deaths and bloodshed in the Xianzhou war against the Abundance. He wasn't the High Elder who was praised atm, but a person who made a horrible choice out of desperation (I say desperation, but he did want to believe he made a correct choice until it was too late).

As for the reveal that Jingliu is Dan Feng closest friend, she definitely knows Dan Feng well enough. The implication of Jingliu recognizing Dan Feng spearmanship and questioning/taunting Yinyue Jun (Dan Heng) if the enemies around them aren't enough to interest him...They definitely did spar alot. I'll mention the Icor of Two Dragons and Dan Feng is sulking because he lost to Jingliu and that's just funny to think about how common it is between them.

The interaction between Jing Yuan and Luocha. I am invested in their dynamic since they are both playing 5D chess. But when Jing Yuan thought he had the upperhand, Luocha revealed being taken for trial is part of his (and Jingliu) plan. And Jing Yuan?? He looks amused, almost happy enough that he was beaten and takes his loss with grace.

When the HCQ, or what remained of them, finally gathered together for Jingliu to formally disband them and say her goodbye...It was rather bittersweet. The joyful memories they had together as a band of outcasts, a found family between them, are no more.

Baiheng is dead, sacrificed her life to save her friends and comrades-in-arms against Shuhu(?).

Jingliu is a mara-struck criminal, tethering between the lines of sanity and insanity, and she seeks to end Yaoshi for good.

Yingxing is gone, replaced by Blade, an immortal following Destiny Slave so he can finally have true death.

Jing Yuan, now an Arbiter General of the Luofu, who lost all of his friends including his master. They are still here, but they're not the same anymore. He feels useless, unable to do anything but continue to watch as Jingliu and Blade fight as he sees the HCQ are gone for good.

Dan Feng the criminal who committed the unpardonable sin, forced to through a faux-rebirth, leaving Dan Heng to shoulder his sins. Dan Heng, who tried his best to escape the shadows of his past but unable to.

NGL, I was watching the cutscene and the ending of the chapter with a heavy heart. I do want to see the story of the HCQ when they were at their best, the happiest before their fallout, and it will hurt me cause I know how it will all end.

Focusing closely on Dan Heng throughout the quest, I think after the quest- Dan Heng feels like he can't escape his past, as Jingliu said. The faint memories that linger at the back of his mind, his spearmanship, and everything that happened in the Luofu prior to that...

No matter how hard Dan Hen tries, he has to come to the fact he must accept his past. And he did accept that Dan Feng is part of, as said in the animation! But he will not allow it to dictate who he is in the present. This is just more setbacks in his progress I believe he'll overcome in the future.

After all, Dan Heng has too many unsolved answers of what his predecessor has done in the past regarding the Vidyadhara heritage and Blade immortality. He might not like it and it might be better for him to avoid it, but he is genuinely curious (and he is very much curious about his homeland since he lived in the Shackling Prison for most of his childhood and teenage ears).

Of course, there is the issue of his identity crisis. Dan Heng in generally confident in his own individuality. But events in the Xianzhou and with Jingliu left him with some doubts. Doubts that has been casted away after inquiring Jing Yuan opinion, who tells him that only Dan Heng knows the answer to his question.

and I believe, Dan Heng knows the answer too.

In regards to Blade, I think Dan Heng has connected the dots between Blade and Yingxing. But he has a hard time coming to terms with it because they are vastly different people. He's not too familiar with Yingxing, but he respects the man who created Cloud Piercer. He's familiar with Blade, but their meetings only end in bloodshed. The memories of being chased by him are still vivid in his mind...

But he knows at least Dan Feng is responsible for Blade predicament, for his (Dan Heng) predicament as well. And he feels like it is his duty to at least see Blade journey through the end because no matter how much he denies it- their fates are messily intertwined.

As to whether Dan Heng takes Jingliu information as the truth, he accepts some parts of Jingliu words as true. However, Jingliu memories are vague as well and heavily biased with hate/anger, some of the things she said could be from her opinion only. The same goes for Blade, as they are both mara-struck individuals.

And Dan Heng is Dan Feng reincarnation so by logic his predecessor memories are wiped out, or almost non-existent.

That's the end of my thoughts that no make no sense rambling like a madman.

P.S. I am Yanqing who looks so done with everything.

[zykamiliah]

SJ does NOT like LBH putting an arm around his baby brother’s waist, but he has learned not to say anything because SY will get mad. He still wonders if he can get away with “accidentally” shooting LBH. Meanwhile, TLJ is waxing poetic about his Tragic Romance with LBH’s mom (complete with the hot steamy sex they used to have). This is very awkward for everyone. SJ contemplates shooting TLJ as well.

I don't think he'd be clumsy enough to shoot anyone accidentally and SY knows that. It's better to keep the war cold, and think of countermeasures to break up that relationship— without actually doing harm to his brother. This is one of his most difficult projects, but SJ is aggressively persistent in this matter. Especially after finding out who Lbh's father is. Oh, he just knew there was something foul in that beast's blood.

TLJ is recounting his love story while the others listen and eat snacks (courtesy of the same waiter) while LMY records the whole monologue on her phone for future reference. She'd be taking notes too but that'd look too conspicuous. MBJ is unfazed. Sqh is eating and not paying much attention because he knows Lmy is recording. NYY is sobbing on a napkin and Shl is drinking wine and rolling her eyes at the mafia boss sob story; blah blah, going to jail on false accusations and not being able to get out in 10 ten years, what about her father? He should have gone to jail years ago so she could inherit his company and all his assets. Maybe she should frame him for the actual crimes he has committed and gotten away with.

When TLJ gets to the part of SXY's death and how he uncovered the truth after getting out of prison, Lbh's hands are silently shaking, his eyes wide open and dry as he looks past Lqg's shoulder, as if he's not paying attention. But SY knows he is, he can feel Lbh trembling slightly, and his heart squeezes something painful. SY can't help but put his arm around Binghe and stroke his back. Lbh grabs his other hand under the table in a tight grip and doesn't let go for the duration of the stay in the restaurant.

TLJ finishes talking and then

"Well, this has been nice. But now we have to go. Nephew, grab my son-in-law."

Everyone stands up and are about to fight the two of them with swords and table knives, but, surprisingly, Shen Jiu stays calm and continues to sip his wine and cut a piece from his Wagyu beef. SY looks at him puzzled for exactly three seconds before relaxing and letting ZZL escort him out of the restaurant- with Lbh clinging to SY's other arm.

Everyone: ?????

Lqg: "Why are you letting them go??"

SJ: "Wait and see."

TLJ and ZZL are suspicious but they don't miss the chance and slowly back away from the table. TLJ opens the door of the restaurant and—

"Tianlang-jun, you are under arrest for kidnapping a minor and violating your parole."

"Really? Oh well."

With too much nonchalance for the situation he is in, TLJ gets into the police car and waves a hand in goodbye.

"We'll meet again, son-in-law, child of mine!" To the police officer: "You know, this is how I met the love of my life. She arrested me when I was..."

The police car speeds away as everyone watches.

"Hold on, where is Zhuzhi-lang?" asks Lqg.

Lbh scowls: "He got away while the police were distracted by that man." Not his father.

"Tch. He's going to be a problem."

Lbh hugs SY closer. "He won't get to Yuan-ge again. I'm making sure of it." Then to SY. "Yuan-ge, I should stay at your house-"

"Absolutely not!" SJ cuts him brusquely. "He's staying with his brother, you mongrel-"

"Jiu-ge!"

"I have a gun, I can protect him from the mafia-"

"Ehem." Yqy intervenes with a forced smile. "What if we get back inside and finish dinner? We can talk about that later."

After they leave the restaurant, YQY, falling back into the role of club president, instructs them to go home and promises he and SJ will visit the club tomorrow to talk about what happened.

ZZL didn't get arrested because he's not of age yet and TLJ covered for him. He has not way to go anyway because SJ paid the waiter to blowout their tires as a back-up plan.

@mitchievousness

[mdzs-fics]

Beyond the Autumn Waters by omphalos

Canon Divergence - post siege of the Burial Mounds Teen and up 15 chapters (complete) 83k words

Jiang Wanyin barked out a laugh. "Don't be fucking ridiculous. Li-daifu says it will be many months before you're fit to travel even by boat. Even then you won't be well enough to defend the brat if Lan-shi decides to reject him with violence. What were you intending to tell them about him anyway? That he was some byblow you got on a mysterious woman who was definitely not a Wen? I can't see your xiongzhang believing that for one moment. There's no way he doesn't know you're a cutsleeve."

Wangji felt his muscles tense further and his cheeks burn. "None of your business."

"Isn't it? That boy you call your erzi – by some equally nonsensical reasoning, he's my zhizi. I'm not having you take my zhizi to a place that will reject him or worse. Whatever you think about me, Jiang-shi is a happy place for children. Let him stay here while you recover your fitness at least. Let him know a little of what is to be a… a child of the sun and the water before you take him back to your frozen home. Let him eat fucking lotus seeds and shoot fucking kites with a practice bow. Don't you think– Don't you think Wei Wuxian would have wanted that?"

Beyond the Autumn Waters begins two days after the siege of the Burial Mounds. Jiang Wanyin returns to it looking for his brother's sword. He finds Lan Wangji with a bundled Wen Yuan. A battle ensues, ending when Lan Wangji collapses from the wounds of the discipline whip.

What occurs after is a journey through the years between the death and reappearance of Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji will not return to three years of seclusion. Lan Yuan will be raised at Lianhua Wu, with his younger cousin, Jin Ling, staying there when he can. The helplessness of the Jiang sect in relation to the Jin is made evident.

Life proceeds over the years. Rumours arise about the relationship between Jiang Wanyin and Lan Wangji. The actual relationship between Lan Wangji and Jiang Wanyin develops, moving from rancor to tolerance to friendship and familial bonds.

There are several wonderful chapters dedicated to what I consider "Jin Ling's Journey" … a mythical trip of a young ten-year old looking to cure himself of jealousy. As with all mythical journeys, Jin Ling will be tested multiple times as he searches for the object of his trek.

It may seem that I am glossing over a lot of this work. It is difficult to describe the events and interactions between the major characters without giving away too much.

Much of the background to this story is pretty much straight from what can be read in the novel. Jiang Wanyin obtains his brother's sword. Jin Guangyao is manipulative. Nie Mingjue dies to Qi deviation. Did I mention that Jin Guangyao is not a pleasant person?

I found the last chapter to be a very satisfying end to these in-between years, with the announcement of a competitive night-hunt at Dafan Mountain and a cryptic reference to a plan of action that, as the author writes "they wouldn't really be able to stop until the huapo [landslide] they'd catalysed reached its natural, cataclysmic conclusion."

Nie Huaisang does not play a major role in this story. But, somehow, I get the feeling …