#but I try to draw them more and I needed some pratice in drawing their complicated hair and couple poses...

[lumorie]

teeny tiny haikaveh doodles

[conspirartist]

Though I should share some of my silly lil headcanons for Twisted since y'all seemed to like the Genshin ones. Today's victim is Crewel, because I have too many thoughts about that man.

As always don't take any of them too seriously, I do those for fun and that means most of the time I just straight up fabricate stuff with little to no regard for canon.

First headcanon comes from a bit of a misunderstanding from my part and lots of my other headcanons come from it. Point is, for the longest time I though Crewel's pointer/cigarette holder thingie was a walking cane. I only realized that wasn't the case when my gf pointed out that I always draw him with a cane despite the fact he doesn't have one in canon.

So yeah headcanon (that I thought was canon for way too long) number one:

- Crewel always has a cane with him, people chalk it up to being a fashion statement (which it is in part), but he does need it for medical reasons.

Expanding on the cane headcanon:

* There are days he doesn't really need it, but he always has it with him in case of having a flare up (he wounded his leg a few years after graduating from NRC, although it healed all right he still experiences pain from time to time)

* He has several different canes so he can coordinate them with his outfits including a few that were enchanted to change color or to let out sparks whenever they touch the floor

* He uses magic to change the grip of the more fashion like canes so they're more comfortable

* Pratical classes almost always mean he'll have to use his cane, since he'll have to stand and walk around class a lot (least he wants to risk someone inhaling fumes they shouldn't or Seven forbid, blowing up a cauldron).

I'll expand on the topic of his leg injury latter on, but for now some headcanons for his classes/teacher career.

- Although he has quite the reputation for his strictness and temper, Crewel is a student favorite

- He has a soft spot for his puppies, even if he's not open about it; the kind of teacher that will ask you to stay after class to check you're ok

- He's very perceptive about his students and he will try to accommodate for them if he notices they're having a hard time

- He will nag his students into taking better care of themselves

* Coming to class looking disvelished? He'll click his tongue and straighten your tie and ask if you had to rush to class

* Looking too drowsy or sleepy? He will tell you to wash your face and will ask you if you're getting enough sleep

* Feeling faint because of low blood pressure? Your assignment will come back with a small note telling you to remember to eat

- I also think he notices students' efforts a lot, be it related to classes or just in general

* You managed to get your marks up after studying even if it's not by a lot? You get a little message congratulating your hard work

* That one quiet student who always comes to class wearing a beaten up hoodie tried something with their hair? They'll get a quiet compliment when handing in their homework

- His first years teaching were particularly tough

* His personal life was in shambles, Trein kinda of coerced him into applying for a teaching position

* He was on his early twenties, barely out of college, the third years were almost his age - he had to fight for their respect (which is why he developed his more 'aggressive' teaching approach)

* It was also around the time he got his leg injury so he was still navigating getting used to his new limitations

* He had a student who upturned their cauldron over themselves during one of his first pratical classes, he had to rush the kid to the infirmary; he was nearly inconsolable once he made to the teachers' lounge

- Crewel takes lab safety very seriously and will put the fear of God on whoever don't follow safety guidelines (basically everyone's lab wear cards, I can heat this man snapping at them 24/7)

- He buts heads with Crowley a lot, over both curriculum and how to deal with the students, it doesn't bear many fruits and generally ends with he doing stuff himself while Crowley remains blissfully unaware (or pretends to anyway) of his own incompetence

* One of such instances was to take love potions out of the pratical curriculum, because he wasn't about to teach the students how to do what are exencially roofies. Since Crowley kept arguing that he couldn't change the silabus. He ended up teaching how to identify love potions; the symptoms they cause; their main antidotes; the current legislation around them and the ethics involved on the production and use of such potion

Now onto some more general stuff and backstory:

- He was afraid of dogs as a child but got over it with time (and a lil exposition, his childhood friend had a very sweet pup)

- He went to NRC the same year his childhood friend Nico (my twisted version of Anita) both were sorted into Pomefiore

- He doesn't have much of a relationship with his parents but he's very close to a maternal aunt

- He has a tendency to depressive episodes but currently (canon time) his symptoms are on remission

- During High School Crewel did very well in Alchemy, but he was also a very skilled summoner (he had a special affinity to hellhounds, known for being temperamental but extremely loyal)

- It was also during his school years that Crewel met Rose (my twisted version of Roger). At first the pair didn't get along, Crewel feeling like she was stealing his best friend from him, but with time the trio grew very close

- Rose taught him how to play the piano, she used to play a little jingle in it to tease Crewel every chance she got (think of a parody of the Cruella song)

- When Nico and Rose got together Crewel was a little afraid of being left out, but it turned out none of them intended to leave him behind, he was the best man at their wedding. They talked about the future as a weird family of three, unconventional but so very happy

- Rose and Nico got into a car accident, a few months after they got married. They both died in the crash. Crewel was devastated by their loss, suddenly he found himself so very alone

- Rose and Nico had familiars of their own, hellhounds, who always seemed to take a liking to their summoner friend. Moved by grief and a wish to hold onto whatever was left of his friends Crewel tried to summon the beasts, to reach someone who knew the pair as closely as him

* That's how he got his leg injury

- Around that time Trein came across Crewel, a little too thin for comfort and way too quiet. Unwilling to let the brilliant young man who was once his pupil dig himself even deeper he contacted Crowley and all but strong armed the young alchemist to NRC

- Crewel has three dogs (all dalmatian of course) a couple, Prometeus and Pandora, and their pup, Panacea. What people don't know is that the trio are actually summons, Prometeus and Pandora were Rose's and Nico's familiars, they forged a new contract with Crewel after a while.

- He has a foster license, although he never had to use it, he keeps an eye on the students he suspects don't have a good home life.

- He gets a lot of notes and trinkets from his pups, I mean students, on fathers day. And he absolutely melts at them, in private, he gushes to the other teachers, he keeps everything in a box in his room, he just loves his students so much

- People called him dad in class so many times he lost count, he doesn't make a big deal out of it but it warms his heart

- He loves when he gets news from graduated students

- My point is he is a proud father and no one will ever convince me otherwise

[moonlight-yuyu]

Hey, I hope you're doing well. I really like your blog and thank you for answering all my previous ask. Also, you're not spreading any negativity by expressing your feelings and calling out the rude people, your feelings are completely valid.

My big 6 are

Rising: Virgo

Sun: Scorpio

Moon: Sagittarius

Mercury: Scorpio

Venus: Scorpio

Mars: Scorpio

I'd like a detailed shipping with Ricky from ZB1

Thank you for taking the time to answer my ask, I really appreciate it

Thank you so much my love for understanding me and giving me this kind words 💕 I hope that you’re happy and healthy and taking good care of yourself. ✨ I’m happy that I can do a reading for Ricky since he’s one of my biases in ZB1🥰 so here we gooo

Uhhhh yes I sense some magnetic attraction between the two of you!!! This attraction would be even stronger when you share common interest. (I added that I bit later but based in your moon signs you would actually have so many interests in common I LOVE THAT) You both tend to be somewhat possesive (but in a good way?). You both are strong-willed people which could cause some tension at times and communication and understanding would be really important in your relationship at some point! Nevertheless both of you have similar emotional needs and freedom would be important for both of you which would make things easier since both of you understand the need for space at some point. Also you love to experience and getting to know new things which I think would make your dates so much fun!! like trying out drawing or pottery oml this sounds so cute tho. On top of that it would be important for you that aou're not only lovers but also best friends at some point. What could cause some tension is your different ways in solving problems. While you trying to solve them in a more emotional way Ricky would solve them more logical. But you could help out each other so much!! Like Ricky would help you solving problems by giving you pratical tips while you could help Ricky taking his emotions in consideration as well. Ohhh and Ricky could help you come out of your shell sometimes especially in social gatherings.

Your song: I love you more than anyone by TWICE

[apocalypseornaw]

Always be Yours- 2

Word Count 5,437 *not my gif*

Story Summary: Inspired by the 2 part I did of the same title. Follows Dean and Reader through season 9 into season 10

Chapter Summary: Adaddon is back and using two hunters to draw the boys into a trap so of course you're right there with them

Warnings: cursing, fights, minor character death

Dean could hear your laughter drifting down the hall the moment he stepped out of his room. You'd only been at the bunker a week or so but you'd always had a habit of making any place feel your presence. Hell even Crowley asked if he could see you when he found out you were there. Kevin was acting more normal than he'd ever seen the kid and it was a bit of a relief to know he wasn't the only one keeping a close eye on Sam should Ezekial decide to not hold up his end of the bargain.

He headed towards the kitchen and could hear music. The closer he got he made out the tune of "You give love a bad name" when he stepped around the corner he was met with the sight of Sam spinning you around while you sang along word for word. Kevin was sitting at the table working on a large stack of pancakes and laughing at the show of you and Sam dancing around the kitchen in your pajamas. The two of you had formed a close friendship back when you were both the youngest kids being pawned off on Bobby during hunts and Dean would be lying if he said he didn't wish you were as comfortable around him as you were Sam.

He could still remember the first case him and Sam worked solo with you. It was the Croatoan virus. You hadn't blinked an eye when you refused to leave Sam's side when he was exposed telling them both that if they were giving in so were you. Over the years you'd been in and out of their lives and the day he'd been dragged out of hell you showed up at Bobby's and had a blade to his neck before him or Bobby could explain. When they proved it was really him that was the first time you'd ever hugged him. You'd pratically squealed when you jumped into his arms "Dean! You're back!"

You always had a habit that no matter how long you went without seeing him or Sam you always treated them as if you'd just seen them the day before. When Sam was soulless you helped him to track down Death to get Sam's soul back. He'd never seen you back down from a fight especially if someone you cared about was fighting.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when you slid to a stop in front of him and held a hand out to him. "C'mon Dean" you pleaded and he shook his head "I haven't even had my coffee yet Y/N" you being the ever persistent woman you were rolled your eyes then looked over your shoulder at Sam "Be a good little brother and fix the man some coffee" Sam grinned as he moved to grab Dean's mug and you turned back around to Dean with a smile "So now what's your excuse?" the song switched to "Have you ever seen the rain" and your eyes lit up when he hummed the first couple bars before hesitantly taking your hand.

You slid your arms up around his neck and he put his hands at your waist careful not to catch the bare skin when your shirt rode up slightly. Normally he'd feel stupid as hell dancing in the kitchen? Especially with an audience but the smile on your face was worth it, most of the time you tried to keep up the front of a fearless hunter but since Bobby's death you'd started to let your guard fall more often and around more people than just Sam. When the song ended you winked at him and said "Who knew Dean Winchester can dance?" then moved to turn the player down. Sam cleared his throat and looked from you to Dean before holding the coffee out "Want your coffee Dean?" when you turned your back Sam raised his eyebrows and Dean shot him a glare "Thanks Sammy" you thankfully didn't see the look passed between them when you turned around to ask Kevin if he wanted orange juice.

-------

The ease of the morning was interrupted by a phone call coming in about a busload of bodies found on a naval base. That mixed with the freaky storms and dead cattle circling that area screamed demon. You grabbed your duffel bag and the bag with your fed suit then stepped out of your room and met up with Kevin in the hallway. He glanced down towards the armory so you shot him a smile "Just stay away from him Kev. He'll try to get into your head and it's not worth it" he gave you a small smile in return "I'll stay away from him Y/N" he turned to head to the library so you headed for the map room where Sam and Dean stood waiting. Dean's eyes skimmed over you and your crossed your arms "Is there a problem Dean?" he met your eyes and smirked slightly "Naw, just you're gonna be a lot more fun to look at all day than Sammy here" you rolled your eyes and chunked your duffel bag to him considering they both already kept go bags in baby's trunk "Easy tiger, we got work to do"

You walked next to Sam up the stairs talking about the case and what could possibly be waiting.

------

When Dean rolled to a stop right outside the area that had been tapped off you slid your ID into your pocket then climbed out the backseat. You had stopped off about ten miles back for all of you to change into your suits. "This place reeks of sulphur" Sam muttered and you nodded "Between the stink and the storms.." "Mixed with the dead cattle I'll take demons for a thousand Alex" Dean finished holding the police tape up for you to walk underneath.

The MP noticed the three of you and headed your way so you pulled your badges out while Dean did the introduction "Agents Stark, Banner and Barnes. FBI. Just need to have a look around" She didn't hesitate to ask "Why? This is a military case, not a federal one" "Well that's not what our supervisor said" you interjected and if anything you speaking seemed to make her attitude that much worse "That so? Then maybe him and I ought to have a chat" Sam cut his eyes at you and Dean said "Ok" then pulled his phone out. You wondered what he was doing and leaned up slightly to see him hit Kevin's number.

"Hey boss, we got a little problem" poor Kevin you just hoped he knew to play along. After a beat Dean continued "Yeah just a local badge needs a little confirmation we're supposed to be here. How the word came down from FBI headquarters in D.C." you were glad you were used to situations like this because if not you probably would've laughed imagining how confused Kevin must be but nonetheless Dean said "Yeah" then held the phone out to the MP.

She looked between the three of you before saying "This is sergeant Miranda Bates. Who am I talking to?" She looked back at Dean who you knew by far wouldn't break before asking Kevin "How old are you?" you were started to get annoyed with her attitude when she said "Listen kid, I don't have to do anything and I don't take orders from the feebs so unless you can give me one good reason you got a couple of pretty boy agents and their handler poking around my crime scene" "Handler?" you scoffed and Sam reached a hand out to pull you back next to him as she kept ranting "I'm gonna put them in cuffs and spank your ass raw"

Her face fell at something Kevin said "What?..How did you find that?" You looked between the boys to see if they had any idea what Kevin was telling her but they both shrugged. She finally said "Yes sir" then handed Dean's phone back and walked away.

Dean was barely holding back a smile when he said "Kevin, what the hell did you just do?" Sam motioned to the bus so Dean waved the two of you ahead.

You stepped on the bus behind Sam and went to the first body while Sam started looking over a different one. "Sam look" you pushed back the guy's shirt with a pen to show the bullet hole in his chest. All the bodies had fatal wounds but they were all also long dead.

Dean then stepped up on the bus and asked "Got anything?" Sam nodded to the body nearest you "This guy was shot in the heart" "That what killed him?" he asked and Sam looked at you so you shrugged "Maybe? but like ten or twenty years ago" Dean glanced at Sam who added "All these bodies have fatal wounds but they're all old" "So meatsuits?" Dean guessed so you nodded "Bodies took a licking but demons kept them ticking"

"And now they're riding the soldiers" Sam added. Dean looked behind Sam "Hey" you looked up to see sergeant Bates walking up onto the bus with a tablet in her hands "Excuse me agents. We pulled this off the security camera. You might want to take a look" Sam reached out for it so you moved to the side so Dean could see the screen as well. It clearly showed the soldiers walking away but Sam froze on one woman in particular. You knew they couldn't tell you why in front of Bates but the moment the three of you stepped off the bus Dean said "Abaddon? Seriously?" and you knew why Sam had frozen the screen. That was the demon that had attacked the men of letters and who killed their grandfather Henry after him and her jumped through a magical portal to recent time.

"I thought you kentucky fried that meatsuit?" Dean asked Sam who shrugged "I did Dean" "Then how did she get it back?" you asked and nodded to the cop that held the tape up for you to pass. "And why's she playing G.I. Joe?" Dean said and Sam responded "No clue. Why don't you ask her when we find her?"

You slid into the backseat and pulled your suit jacket off while Dean pulled out onto the road and said "Oh I will and then I'm gonna chop her freaking head off..again"

------

After stopping off long enough for all of you to change back into normal clothes you got back on the road to the bunker. It was already dark out and you were laid across the backseat when Sam's phone rang and you heard him say "Hold on Kevin..Wait..slow down" Sam cut his eyes back when you sat up then put the phone on speaker while Kevin repeated the coordinates he'd been given then said "And she gave me two names. Irv Franklin and Tracy Bell" "Irv's a friend, don't know Tracy" Dean cut in before Kevin continued "All right, the lady said they were hunters and that if you didn't go save them that she would kill them" "Yeah heard that song before" Dean grumbled but you were looking up the coordinates to see where you were all headed.

"Dean, who was she?" Kevin asked so you answered without looking up "The bad guy" Dean asked Kevin to dig up everything the men of letters had on the knights of hell. Abaddon was one although you didn't know exactly what that entailed. After Sam hung up with Kevin you leaned up between him and Dean "The numbers point to a spot on the outskirts of Eugene, Oregon" then glanced between the two of them "Are we gonna adknowledge this is a trap right?"

"Yup" Dean said matter of factly. You turned your head to look at Sam when he asked "And we're just gonna walk right into it?" "Guns blazing" you answered and saw Dean glance your way in the mirror. "Well Y/N's with me, Sam?" Sam of course said "You know it"

------

You drove through the night and stopped a few miles shy of where Abaddon wanted to meet so all of you could be as well prepared as possible. The place was completely abandoned. Dean gave voice to your thoughts when he asked "What the hell happened here?" "A local chemical plant sprang a leak years ago. They evacuated three square blocks. Guess it's still contaminated"

"Wait? So this whole place is poison?" you asked, a little worried. "Yeah" Sam replied and you laughed when you saw Dean's hand move to cover his crotch "That's not gonna help" Sam told him with a sigh. Dean realized you'd seen him and shrugged "It doesn't hurt"

One thing you'd gotten used to was that when you hunted with them both they had a habit of keeping you between them when they could. You weren't sure if it was on purpose or not. The three of you walked further into the town then heard a slam coming from an old diner that caused you and Sam to pull your guns. Dean nodded so you covered Sam while he kicked the door in.

"Clear" you and Dean went in behind him so you kept an eye on the kitchen to make sure there was no surprises while Dean untied Irv and who had to be Tracy. You glanced back when he said Abaddon had been torturing hunters to get information on Sam and Dean. If you hadn't been with them she might have gotten her claws on you.

Dean gave Irv a shot of holy water while Sam gave one to Tracy who rolled her eyes "Happy?" she was slinging more aggression towards Sam than you would've liked but now wasn't the time. Irv nodded to you when Dean untied him "Y/N, good to see ya" "Yeah" you said then once again Tracy got mouthy with Sam when he introduced himself. You knew the look you had when Irv quickly explained "She's new. We worked a shifter job in Sacramento together. Smart but got a mouth on her" She scoffed so you clicked your tongue "Honey we ain't got time for whatever you got going on. We need to gear up and clear out" Dean tilted his head towards you "What she said"

------

You were helping Dean lay out every weapon you'd grabbed. "We got jesus juice, devil's trap bullets shoot a demon with them and put em on lockdown" He explained and you spun an angel blade in your hand "Angel blades work"

Irv took a gun loaded with Devil's trap bullets about the time Sam said "They're coming" "Good" Dean said handing you a vial of holy water. "They've got assault rifles" Sam added and you cursed under your breath "Ok, less good"

Irv looked at Dean "So, what's the play?" Dean looked at you "Give me your phone" you handed it over without question and watched him record a voice memo of himself saying "COME AND GET IT YOU DICKS" and knew his plan. You grabbed one of the cake trays and drug it over in front of him "Prop it up here" he did as you said then looked between everyone else. "Let's go"

------

All of you made it out behind the cafe so Dean looked around "We got to flank seal team douche in there so uh Irv, you and me will go left. Sam, you Y/N and Tracy go right" "Ok let's move" Sam said and reached for Tracy's arm but she shoved him back "Don't touch me" "What is your problem?" you asked feeling Dean grab you around the waist with one arm to hold you in place while he repeated the question.

Tracy's eyes never moved off of Sam "My family's dead because of him" "What?" Sam asked and in that moment you could've knocked Tracy flat just for the guilt in his eyes. She looked back at you then at Dean before saying "I watched a demon slaughter my parents and the whole time it talked about how it was celebrating how some dumb kid let Lucifer out of his cage" you looked over your shoulder at Dean and he slid his arm from around you. "Ok we got to move. Y/N you go with Sam and Irv, Tracy with me" you didn't really want to leave her with Dean in case it became a your brother did this to my people so I'm gonna do this to you type of thing but it wasn't like you were in a position to start an argument. You simply nodded and tapped Sam's shoulder "Let's go"

------

You were walking close to Sam gripping your gun and trying to keep an eye out, He had the demon blade in his hand and Irv was behind you. "Sam you copacetic?" Irv asked and Sam nodded "I'm good" Irv glanced at you then said "Good. Give me that toothpick, grab Y/N then you two get Dean and Tracy and get the hell out of here" "What?" you asked in shock and Irv explained "I'm going in there alone. I'll buy you as much time as I can"

"Irv, that's death" Sam glanced at you for help but you didn't know what to say at a friend basically asking for the two of you to be ok with him killing himself. Irv looked ashamed when he finally spoke "Yeah, well it's what I got coming..It's my fault. I was in some dive and I was sloppy and lonely" Sam glanced at you as Irv continued "And I met some girl and the next thing you know, I'm strapped to some bed and she's twisting things that ain't supposed to be twisted" "She who?" Sam questioned but you had a feeling you already knew the answer Irv saying "Abaddon" just confirmed you were right.

Irv's voice broke when he said "I gave em up. Pete,Tracy,even you Y/N. I gave em all up. So Sam you hand me that blade and you let me do what I got to do or so help me" but he had moved to the point his back wasn't blocked by any building and a shot rang out a second before Irv fell. Sam instinctively pushed you back and pulled his gun. You nodded that you were ok then you both leaned out to return fire then make a break for the diner that was across the street.

You fell in behind Sam and looked up to see one of the demon's holding you at gunpoint "Boo"

He snatched you to your feet and Sam dove for him with the demon blade but another demon popped up and knocked Sam sideways then both of you were thrown over the counter. You scrambled to your feet again about the time the third demon walked around the corner and smiled "Cool. I didn't miss the best part"

------

Safe to say you and Sam were getting your asses handed to you. He had his head slammed into a wall and you thought he was unconscious then suddenly his eyes glowed blue and he looked at "GET DOWN" "Bout time you pop up" you muttered diving back behind the counter and tucking yourself into the smallest ball possible as Ezekiel's wings shown on the wall of the diner.

You stayed in that position until the door of the diner opened and Dean called your name. He let out a visible breath when you popped up. "Fuck don't hide again!" "He told me to!" you argued pointing at Ezekiel who was stabbing the last demon in the head with the demon blade. "They were going to kill him and her Dean" "Ezekiel?" Dean asked and you nodded. "What the hell did you do?" Dean pushed and Ezekiel turned to face him "I was protecting your brother and Y/N. I thought that was what you wanted" "Yeah of course, Thank you we're just still getting used to all this" you cut in and Ezekiel looked around "As am I" "Sam's ok?' you asked and Ezekiel explained that he had been knocked unconscious and in a way still was and wouldn't remember what happened. "So what the hell am I supposed to tell him when he comes to?" Dean asked and Ezekiel held the demon blade out "Which was why I used the knife"

"Right, smart" Dean took the blade then looked at you when Ezekiel spoke "You are troubled still" Dean turned back towards him "Yeah it's just that uh. Yeah this is on me. I was the one who talked Sam out of boarding up hell so every demon deal, every person they kill you're looking at the person who let it happen" "Dean" you tried but he wouldn't even look at you. "You were protecting your brother" Ezekiel offered then continued "I am in Sam's head. Everything he knows I know. and I know that what you did you did out of love"

Dean scoffed "Look Zeke, I'm gonna call you Zeke. I'm not really with the whole uh love and well love" you were standing there looking between the two of them when Ezekiel said "but it is why I said yes" "Yeah and if that goes sideways that's on me too" you finally snapped at Dean "PLEASE STOP HATING YOURSELF FOR FIVE SECONDS"

They both looked a little startled so you took a breath and said "We're trusting you Ezekiel" Dean finally shook himself out the shock of you hollering at him to say "and I just hope you're one of the good guys" "I am" Ezekiel said then added "But I suppose that's what a bad guy would say...Dean Winchester you are going the right thing" you took a deep breath and look at Ezekiel "How about letting Sam take back control? me and Dean will clean up before he wakes up" Ezekiel nodded then walked over to where Sam had been knocked out and sat back.

------

Once his head drooped over you moved to help Dean load the weapons back into the bag. Neither of you spoke until Sam started to stir.

When he groaned you made it to his side first "Sam?" "Sammy?" Dean asked helping Sam to his feet. Sam looked at you "What the hell happened?" you shrugged "You took a shot to the head, I was about to be the pinata for these asshats before Dean decided to slide in and save our asses"

Sam looked at Dean "You killed three demons, alone?" Dean shrugged "Took them by surprise. Got a little messy, I got a little lucky oh and I'm awesome so there's that" Sam looked around and you smirked when he said "You are pretty damn awesome"

You heard an engine roll up and looked out the window to see Tracy roll up in baby and looked back at Dean "She gets to drive baby and I don't?" Dean tried to explain but you simply grabbed the weapons as the three of you headed outside.

------

Tracy looked at Sam "You good?" "Yeah, more or less" and you smiled when her reply was "Good." She chunked the keys to Dean "I got everything but guess I'm late to the party" "Lucky you" you muttered and walked around to get in behind Sam as Dean said "Let's blow this toxic dump. Burgers and silkwood showers on me"

------

After you dropped Tracy off at one of her friend's houses you and the boys got back on the road. You hadn't really said much to either of them. You were thinking about Ezekiel and if he truly was a good guy. Sam was used to the way you'd get quiet sometimes but Dean had looked in the mirror about a dozen times before you finally said "Speak Dean" he shrugged "You pissed at me?"

You knew you had to look as confused as you felt so he clarified "Tracy driving baby?" you laughed "Naw if you wanted to let me drive her you would" and shrugged he looked a bit hurt so you winked at him to let him know you weren't upset about that. 

------

Twenty miles from Lebanon Dean decided to stop to get Kevin some food. You were sitting in the backseat with your head leaned back while Sam checked his emails.

You glanced up when the door closest to you opened and was surprised to see Dean holding the car keys out to you "I really don't want you killing me in my sleep" you grinned and snatched them from him not risking him changing his mind.

-------

When you pulled up to the bunker and killed the engine you looked back at Dean who was watching you and smiled "Thank you" he took the keys that you were holding out and nodded "Wait, you're still staying around right?" you didn't stop to think Sam hadn't heard that conversation between you and Dean before he said "What?" you shook your head and climbed out the car "Don't worry about it Sam I'm not going anywhere any time soon."

-------

Kevin was nowhere to be found and considering Crowley killed his mom the three of you ran to the armory.

Crowley was beat up but at least not dead and neither was Kevin. "Who worked you over?" Sam asked. Crowley looked at you then said "Martin Hayward and Brandon Favors" "They did this?" you asked but he shook his head "No they're demons. Your boys wanted names, I'm giving names. They're underperformers. Spike them, You're doing me a favor"

Dean smirked "Wow, you break easy" Crowley rolled his eyes "Please,your little plan to have me stir in my own delicious juices? Pathetic. You want intel, I want things too. Maybe we can come to some kind of arrangement. Quid pro quo gentlemen" "So these names are freebies?" you asked and Crowley smiled at you "Not at all sweets.You can consider them fair trade for the enjoyment Kevin gave me" "What the hell's that supposed to mean?" You and Dean asked in unison and Crowley quirked an eyebrow at that before saying "He's my new favorite toy. Wind him up and watch him go" You glared at him "You red eyed bastard" then spun around to walk out the armory and find Kevin. You heard Dean tell Sam "Check the names, I'll help Y/N find the kid"

------

You found him packed up and trying to leave "Where are you going?" Dean asked but Kevin kept walking so you stepped in his path. "Y/N you can't keep me locked up here. I'm leaving" "Like hell" Dean said and you cut your eyes at him "Kev we told you not to talk to Crowley he messes with your head" "He said my mom was alive, that if I let him go he'd give her back"

"And you believed him?" Dean asked with a scoff. "He's still in there isn't he?" you moved to put yourself between Dean and Kevin before saying "Kev, Crowley's lying" "And if he's not?" he asked and you were glad for once that Dean answered "Than she's dead, in every way that matters anyways. We're sorry Kevin"

"I know you're dying to bolt. I get it but out that door it's angels and demons and they'd all love to get their hands on a prophet so even with Crowley here..It's still the safest place for you" you took a breath hoping you'd gotten through to the kid. "and we need you" Dean added.

It hurt your heart when Kevin assumed "Because I'm useful?" but you couldn't help but smile when Dean answered "No,because you're family. Same as Y/N. If you don't think after all we've been through together we all wouldn't die for each other man I don't know what to tell you. We're all we got but hey if none of that matters to you then I won't stop you and I won't let Y/N"

Kevin looked at you then slowly nodded "Ok" you cut your eyes at Dean "I'm gonna get him to his room then I'll come find you and Sam" 

-------

You walked into the library and heard Dean telling Sam "You have helped a lot more people than you've hurt" and guessed it was due to what Tracy said so you stepped further in and Dean waved you over and sat a glass of whiskey in front of you. 

You took it then sat down next to Sam. Dean looked back at him then said "All of that was then" he held up his glass so you did the same and bumped Sam's shoulder so he'd join in when Dean said "Here's to now"

You clicked your glasses against theirs then took a sip. "You both ready for it?" Sam asked so you looked at Dean who questioned "Ready for what?" "Fallens angels, Abaddon. Cas losing his halo, Crowley living in our basement"

You half laughed "Dean you invited me to move into a freakin sitcom" Dean shrugged "At least you have company?" Then turned his attention to Sam "What about you? How's the engine running?" 

Sam looked between the two of you before saying "Honestly? I feel better than I have in a long time. I know it's crazy out there but I look around here and I see friends and family. I'm happier than I've been in forever. It's just things are good" Dean met your eyes and nodded "Never better" 

------

Sam had already headed to bed and Dean went to check in on Kevin. You knew you wouldn't wind down for a while so you collected the books Kevin had pulled about the knights of hell and laid them out across one of the tables in the library. 

You poured yourself another glass of whiskey then sat down. You were halfway through the first book when Dean cleared his throat and you glanced up to see him leaning against the doorway "I figured you went to bed" you said and held the bottle out. He took it then sat across from you "I figured you did too"

He poured a glass then reached for one of the books so you slid it across to him. The two of you read in silence for a few minutes before he called your name. You glanced up "Yeah?" "What was that about?" You weren't exactly sure what he meant so you asked "What was what about?"

He closed the book and for once there was no humor in his face when he asked "You yelling at me about not hating myself for five minutes?" Oh that was what he meant. You finally answered "You're very self deprecating Dean even worse than Sam. I can't stand it" he nodded but still pushed "Why?"

You sighed and laid the book down pulling your bottom lip between your teeth and trying to get the words right before you spoke them "You're a good man Dean. You damn near raised Sam, you have saved so many people. You have a good heart and even when you fuck up it's due to good intentions and don't start about the road to hell being paved with good intentions you know what I mean. When it comes down to it there's no one else I'd rather have to back me in a fight or as a friend" the corner of his lips ticked up in a small smirk "um thanks?" You shrugged "It's the truth. Now let's finish with these books we're currently on then I think we should head to bed" "Yours or mine?" He teased with a smirk but you knew the best way to handle Dean was to give his own medicine right back to him so you quickly fired back "Oh honey I just don't think you could handle me"  and laughed at the look on his face "Yeah I can definitely see why Sam likes having you around" "oh and you don't like having me around not even in the least?" You asked and and he rolled his eyes then pushed the book you'd been reading back at you "Read your book Y/N" 

You turned your attention back to the book but noticed the way he kept glancing your way for the next half hour. When you finally closed your book to head to bed you stood and stretched "See you in the morning?" He nodded "I'll be the best looking one" you shook your head with a smile then headed to your room.

Tags: @akshi8278 @facadeformyrealblog

[the-upper-shelf]

I love your posing! Have any tips for how you decide on a pose?

Thank you so much! ❤

i was trying to type this down but i realized i explain myself very badly sooo i arranged a small....process you could say?

SO! usually when i have an idea for a drawing it’s there but not quite- so i head over to pinterest. If i have no idea of what i want to draw i just scroll until i see something that catches my eye If i know already i type a keyword of what i’m planning to draw. Here i wanted to draw Cerva dancing so i typed “ballerina” in seach of the aesthetic i wanted. Note that in this phase i’m not necessarely searching for a pose- sometimes i find it other times i take inspiration by just a moodboard!

now that i have my image i try to put on paper what i had in mind real quick! i don’t pick the pose first because i tend to make the character stiff  (this is all from personal experience, you could have a different method and that would be absolutely fine! there are no rules in your process....only on anatomy and all that fun stuff...)

what am i doing here? i don’t know. having fun i guess lol i make a bunch of weird lines until i find the “flow” i want for my drawing. I don’t really pay attention to anatomy here and i never use the eraser, this is very important because your ideas will be going off at high speed and a quick pause to erase a part will be enough to stop your thinking process, i promise! Make a lot of experiments: what if the head was up? down? to the side? what if i put the leg like this and so on. Now the boring part...finding the pose lol Pinterest can take away a lot of your time if you’re not being careful, you want the perfect pose i know- but it can be very hard! especially if so far we’ve been drawing without one. There’s a change you can find it but there’s also the chance you won’t...so what now? i personally try to find different poses and merge them all togheter in my mind: maybe a pose has the right arm position, maybe another has the right bust position so i take them all, i place them beside my canvas and start drawing! remember to always lower the opacity of the first sketch! How much? i don’t know, just make sure you’re seeing more of what you’re drawing rather than what’s under it.

for this one i was lucky enough and needed only three pics but sometimes my folders become a real mess, i swear. now for clip studio users! there’s a little box you can use to see your reference while you’re working go to WINDOW>SUB VIEW enable sub view and you should be able to see this:

you can make the frame bigger but i like to keep it small and zoom in when i need to check a detail :) ANATOMY TIME BABYYY

i hate it. i really do. Of course i can’t explain here how my “skeleton”works...not only it would take too long but also i have no idea of  how to explain that. The basic idea is to compose the body with geometrical forms, there are some tutorials on youtube and even pinterest itself! anatomy is important kids, it’s a pain in the butt- but it’s still important! and as we speak i’m still learning it myself...

and here it is! for the final sketch i find it extremely important to build the anatomy while still thinking about the fluency of the pose. Your drawing will inevitably stiffen a bit, that’s normal but instead of drawing little sausages think geometrically (god i can’t explain this properly i’m so sorry) here’s a visual example of what i’m trying to explain:

and remember: this takes time and pratice. I’m still praticing myself, i haven’t “mastered” the technique or anything check different tutorials, work daily on your skills and most importantly FINISH YOUR DRAWINGS you have no idea how much this last thing helps lol alright, that’s it! sorry for my terrible english i hope it helps! somehow.

[rurifangirl]

aight. here somes the ask lore thingie

tw for ppl readin: mention of mental illness, father mention

firstly, how did rui end up meetin the rest of the gang? did they all have sum sort of run in? did they just happen to meet on exident?

also is the father a villain? i remember ya mention him, and was wonderin

and do they have a specific place where they stay? like in a dormstory, a single house, do they live in a single town, or in completly different places?

do any of them suffer from mental/physical illnesses? if they do, how does it affect their life/relationships w others?

Aight, so here we go, be ready cuz shit's long.

(1st part - The Rui n the gang meeting; The Shou meeting) No Tw

Honestly, I also kinda wanted to do this for quite a long time, so I'm gonna firstly talk about how the gang (w/o really mentioning the others name's since they're gonna get introduced soon) met itself and decided to form, and then I'll individually do It in Lyva's and Shou's case, specifically Shou's since i mentioned that his meetin was somethin id have to take care of in another post, so i will rn.

First things first, w the whole gang. Now It wasn't really casually, mainly because Lyva n Rui did meet up, but It was during a special occasion still, that being a really important manifestation in one of the main regions in my oc universe. (They don't have name's yet so pls don't bash me🤡) Them being primarly the Forest, where Rui eventually lives in after all of his past shit, the near-countryside part, where Lyva was living, a pretty much city living on water, where Shou's currently living, and many more, as such the dunes with which I'll introduce Qiran (hopefully tomorrow/today),The sea itself, some High up places and as I said many, many other more. Other than this brief intro, they meet up where Lyva used to live, but mainly because of problems and out of conviniance.

Everyone had something to take back from, so they agreed to help eachother to reach that end, so it's all really planned. Now i won't really go w Lyva, cuz i explained how she met Rui the first time n how they helped her, so I don't need to ramble more on this. Now I'm gonna go w Shou's part though.

This Is more of a note i wanted y'all to know first, cuz i really like how Lyva n Rui met him the first time (cuz the second time was when the gang then all agreed to form n all that jazz.). Basically, Rui n Lyva were out, n visiting new places as such, to prepare themselves further and to try and search for more weapons, cuz they both knew that they'd eventually get in trouble, and even though they still are good, they wouldn't stand much a chance, n since Shou's Place is known for its production they decided to go. N fun fact, there's many funny shit that happends, for example Rui tries to touch a fish, but gets SLAPPED by It. They're still mad >:[. Ajkskdj anyways, some other stuff happends n they just, lose themselves. They had a map ofc but still managed to do so. But Rui was usin It so, I don't really blame em for gettin lost.

Shit happends n they find themselves pratically in front of his shrine/palace. Shou's servitors (cuz he saw everything happend from afar n gave them the okay) brought em in, but rather than makin em idk some tea n just making them recouver, Shou rather put them under some "tests" w/o tellin em, to see if they were any use.

For example he brought them some cups of tea, but before drinking them Rui noticed somethin unusual in the water, so they gave Lyva a sign to not drink It, n as Shou asked as a reason why they just replied that they weren't thirsthy, leavin Shou in a kind of defeated state. Bitch if i love this part honestly, there's so much fun to seein all of their reactions, but I'm gonna go brief rn. So other of this tests pass later n Shou eventually gets upset cuz they're all winnin n seemingly makin fun of him, lettin him in a weaket standpoint, n a fight happends. Even though it's a 2v1 situation he can still manage pretty well, so It ends in a draw. They get to talk after this and get to understand that they don't have to necesseraly be on the opposite side, though Shou Is still unsure whether to belive in that or not.

After they leave him, pratically almost alone w only a bunch of servitors helpin him. He admits defeat n won't show up until the event and yadayada. (Also it's during this weak time of his he'll meet Qiran which i already have plans w so it's all goin to be said bout their relationship in their post.)

(2nd part, the father mention.) Tw:father mention

So it's true that w Shou i did mention his father, but I'm not entirely sure bout his involvment honestly. In theory he kind of is a villain itself, even because of his devilish nature, so it's true, but im not sure whether to make him an independent villain or part of a group of them. But rather than that yes, i do want to make him some sort of villain in the end, because that's also part of Shou's agreement to be part of the group. I will make concept art for him so he'll definetly be involved. Not gonna lie, mabye that bastards also involved w Rui's cult too in a way or another but im givin in too many details holy shit I'll never get outta this fuck

(3rd part- where do they live) No Tw

They live in their own homes honestly, but It would be no surprise if they'd all decide to sleep over someone in specifical, though they have their own place. I made some concepts for Rui's intern home, which here It Is 😤 (forgive me for the bad quality but it's 2 am rn 🤡) I made this a while ago but only did Rui's, so I'll do Lyva's, Shou's n the other one's too. They live in different places, for the exception of, atm, Qiran, since I'm gonna say that they're more of a traveller n don't have a stable home.

(4th part- the mental/physical ilnesses) Tw: Self harm and Mental ilness mention

Well, this Is gonna be a ride. They all suffer from Ptsd, which Rui n Shou suffering from It the most. It still affects them all, though in different occasions, so Imma just do them in specifical. (Also because i gotta add some shit to shou that i didn't wanna add because i thought It was too much honestly)

Rui-

It affects them really much. They use crystals n gems to avoid anything going w their past or anything remotely related It, as whenever they feel awful about havin those flashbacks when they still were a child. They never want to talk about what happened, n during their moments It gets really, really bad. Both emotionally and physically, as their body sometimes cannot handle anything so it completely shuts down. They never really got any help for It as Rui's too scared to share bout their experience, both because of trauma itself that doesn't make them say anything even if they wanted to and because of the cults influence, so either way they've got to handle It by their own.

Lyva-

Other than havin to deal w mornin sickness, which Is the least for her, she has to deal w her neglectful childood and how desperate she's always been for litteraly anythin, whether it's related about love,friendship, food, toys, anything. She tried to seek for help and semi found It, but as of now she can't keep up w It and has better things to take care of. It's still really bad overall, but she's hoping for things to get better. Spoiler It really won't.

Shou-

⭕Tw for sh⭕

It's... really fucking bad. I'm gonna get outta this w saying something i didn't want to add because it's really triggerin, but im gonna do It now. So basically, I've mentioned them acting feminenly for his own mother, but i didn't say what would've happened if he displeased her. She would just stare down at him and whispering some awful shit or names. This would happen especially whenever he'd slip off that mask of his or revealed even a tiny bit of his devilish essence. Note that he's still a child here. So, best thing he could to was to "punish" himself, which basically consists of him scratching his arms too much and, i don't really want to continue this, forgive me but it's kind of triggering even for me. But...you can guess what he's doing, since he even to this day still keeps sharp nails. I'm sorry for putting this, but it's another way to show how his mother fucked him up and now suffering from this.

I'm sorry for rushin the last part but i'm not personally vibing w it.

Tags undercut

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @dopesaladlady @damnfoxx (I'm really unsure bout taggin ya in this ;-;)

If you want your tag removed, dm me cuz it's 3 am at the moment n i may have messed em up. (I'm not gonna recheck tomorrow so that's why)

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Hello! In the Ogata and Koito ask you pointed out that Tsurumi put on a show for Usami’s last moments but didn’t even bother to say a word for an injured Koito. I was wondering if you’ve done an analysis on the parallels and differences between Tsurumi & Koito relationship and Tsurumi & Usami.

Hum...

no, I don’t seem to remember making a deep comparative analysis between those two and their relationship with Tsurumi but it’s surely something interesting to dig in.

So... on a first, superficial gaze they might seem really similar.

They seem both young, obsessed with Tsurumi, and do weird things due to him (Koito just can’t speak normally but reverts to fast Satsuma dialect when around him, Usami just tattooes on himself the draws Tsurumi made).

They get flustered beyond belief at the idea Tsurumi might be disappointed and are fiercely loyal to him to the point they loathe who isn’t.

So... what really is different among them? Or are they just the same?

At first the only difference seems to be in their ranking and their social status, Koito is a Second Lieutenant son of a rear admiral therefore high in ranking and in social status, Usami is just a Superior Private, which also means he never managed to go to a military school and therefore is likely low in social status, probably a commoner, something which gets confirmed later on.

But in truth there’s much more than draw a marked line between them and this much more can be found in their respective backstories.

Koito is someone Tsurumi meets when the boy is 14.

The volume version doesn’t tell us if the meeting was planned or casual, but it shows us Tsurumi first putting Koito to his place in various ways, first by pinching his nose and forcing him to stop after Koito slammed against him, then by telling him not to toss around his father’s name but to show his own worth, then by beating his jigen-ryu and slapping him for the first time as one would do with a child and ultimately helping him to get up.

He then gets Koito to bring him to the cemetery and became his confidant, giving him food and pushing him to talk, even of very private matters. It’s very likely NOT for Koito’s benefit, he’s trying to study him as he’s the son of Koito Heiji, the man who’s about to be put in charge of the Ominato Torpedo Division in Hakodate.

Tsurumi knows that Koito Heiji can become a very useful pawn in his plans and, in fact, 2 years after, when Koito is 16, he sets his plan into motion and have Koito kidnapped only so he could help freeing him so as to put Koito Heiji in his debt.

It’s in that circumstance Koito gets a crush or an hero worship thing on him and begins to latch to him, switching from the navy to the army... and all this benefits Tsurumi because it leads Koito Heiji to get even closer to him.

But young Koito himself at the time wasn’t that much of a use to him. Faithful to him, true, but too brash, unable to report something because he switched to Satsuma dialect as soon as he had to talk with Tsurumi, prone to get distracted and not really aware of the goals he has to pursue.

Tsurumi still manage to use him, because Koito has also abilities like his amazing stamina that allows him to keep up with the lighting bandit, but he also has to keep him under Tsukishima’s protection and even Tsukishima can’t really hold Koito’s reins.

Overall though, Tsurumi’s relationship with Koito is the one of a master who got a new pawn, a pawn that is more of use for his connection to Koito Heiji than for himself, a pawn to whom Tsurumi didn’t devote much time and a pawn who is a living reminder of how Tsurumi, despite all his ability, will never be allowed to reach the rank Koito will reach merely because he’s the son of his father.

Tsurumi’s family has fallen, probably in the same time Koito’s family has rose.

Long story short, it’s entirely possible Tsurumi’s relation with Koito is built upon lies he fed to the boy to keep on using him... or better his father.

If Koito were to die though, as long as Tsurumi can mantain a good relationship with his father, it would be of no consequence to Tsurumi.

At the same time, since Koito seemed so devoted to him, Tsurumi didn’t feel the need to reaffirm his care for him should the boy risk to die. He believes Koito would remain faithful even if he were to survive (and he would have hadn’t Ogata forced to acknowledge Tsurumi tricked him and his father) and devoting time to him in that moment means nothing in terms of group morale.

His soldiers aren’t there to see him care for the fallen Koito except for Tsukishima whom Tsurumi believes to be blindly loyal anyway. There’s no point in putting up an act for him as there’s just no need for it and Tsurumi has more urgent business like pursuing Asirpa.

Tsurumi’s relationship with Usami instead started on a completely different level and involved Tsurumi a lot more.

Tsurumi was teaching Usami self defence when the boy was 12, possibly even earlier, they spend a lot of time together, both as a teacher and as a student but also just as ‘friends’ of some sort, we see Usami having Tsurumi use the foot powered water wheel or them walking together, Tsurumi talking about Usami’s future and encouraging him and also mentioning how he’ll have to leave.

Usami, beyond being very strong in fight, is a nobody. He’s clearly a commoner, possibly his family also fell in disgrace after the Meiji restoration as it’s implied his father too was good at fighting, which might be taken as a hint previously his father was a fighter or meant to be one.

They still managed to retain something, the fields in which they work so they aren’t completely broken and can even send Usami to what was called “High Elementary School”, which required paying a tuition... but it’s made clear they wouldn’t be able to let him continue his studies any further.

So, although Tsurumi’s family got off a little better since he managed to do the school needed for him to become a First Lieutenant, he probably feels closer to Usami’s situation than Koito’s.

Usami also has little he can give to Tsurumi.

While Usami is a strong fighter and it’s possible/likely Tsurumi manipulated Usami and Tomoharu into a fight to see how far Usami would go, the result was clearly unexpected and I’ve hard time thinking Tsurumi just devoted all those years and time solely to raise him as a killer.

In short part of the relationship Tsurumi had with Usami might have been a genuine mere student/teacher relation with a bit of friendship in the mix not just pure manipulation merely aimed to use him.

Things changed when Tsurumi reaped more than he sow after Usami killed Tomoharu. Usami basically killed for him and Tsurumi covered up for him and, although Tomoharu’s father was angry, everything actually went at Tsurumi’s advantage.

He got a loyal pet who would do everything for him and who was really good at fighting, he believed he found a key to push men to kill for him and he was entrusted into a position that benefitted him.

I’m not sure Tsurumi might have planned all this but it sure was good for him.

Usami continues to remain loyal to him and, while he also remains an oddball who needs to be watched over because his attacks of jealousy are unpredictable and lead him to murder people, he’s more valuable for himself than Koito will ever be because he’s more competent and his loyalty are solely for Tsurumi, while Koito’s are slightly split as he’s also loyal to his father and to his honour.

Lastly, when Usami dies he does so bringing Tsurumi valuable information (where Koito had accomplished nothing when he got wounded beyond letting Sugimoto and Asirpa escape and stall Tsukishima who assisted him) and he does so in front of Tsurumi’s soldiers, while Tsurumi isn’t in a rush.

Tsurumi at first doesn’t know Asirpa is there, just that a tattooed criminal is there. Usami might have told him Hijikata’s group, Sugimoto’s group and Ogata are also there but this is up to speculation. Long story short, Tsurumi isn’t in a rush and, what’s more, he has an audience.

By assisting Usami and honouring his accomplishments and wishes he shows to his men he’s a good commander who values them.

The fact he ate Usami’s finger contrast with how he kept his wife and child’s fingers so i don’t think of it as a big loving gesture, but there could have been still affection for Usami, whom he had know BEFORE Usami became a pawn in his game and that he had helped raising.

Long story short, it’s possible Usami, in addition to a pratical value for the soldier he was, also had some emotional value for Tsurumi.

So, while both Koito and Usami remain pawns in Tsurumi’s game, Koito has value more for his connection with his father than as a person, where Usami has value as himself, as a soldier (or assassin if you prefer), as someone Tsurumi might have felt some emotional attachment and as a symbol of what a good and loving commander Tsurumi is with his underlings.

Of course I might be missing something but, among Tsurumi’s pawns, Usami might qualify as Tsurumi’s favourite pet, which is clearly a step above Koito, who, sadly, to Tsurumi is more valuable for his connections than for himself... which is not really fair toward Koito as he’s growing to become awesome... but well, Tsurumi hasn’t witnessed his grown yet and when he will... well, I fear it’ll be too late.

Thanks for your ask!

[slasherbastard]

Hi im so so sorry to bother but I was wondering if I could maybe get a match up?? It nots that okay I understand! But I am a girl, I'm 5 foot and I'm pretty pale and slim, I dress in a mix of trad goth and nu goth style, I love horror and all things spooky, I pratice witchcraft specifically the "darker" side of things, I love wearing large platforms and doing really cool makeup ans wearing a lot of jewelry, again I really love horror especially horror movies, I like both guys and girls as well, I'm really quite and keep to myself when I first meet someone but I do try to talk and conversate, I have a bit of a short temper and sometimes I can be mean Unintentionally when I really tired or anxious, I love sleeping and I nap a lot, I love to joke around and talk about everything and anything, I love rock, deathmetal, and goth music, I am constantly dying and changing my hair from super bright colors to dark ones, my hair is short and cut like ramona flowers hair, im a bit loud and clumsy sometimes but I'm also sometimes really quite and sneaky without trying and there's no in-between, I am a horrible procrastinator and I easily forget things, I love video games and art, and my hobbies include reading, writing, gaming, reading tarot cards and my craft. My favorite color is purple and I am deathly afraid of bugs and spiders. I love cats and rabbits and all animals that are Tony and cute and I have a horrible habit of drinking sodas and leaving then halfways finished and staying up to ungodly hours of the night and then complaining about how tired I am the next day. Thank you so so much again!!

I’m gonna apologise every time I post a matchup because I’m taking forever to do them so sorry!

I pair you with

Asa Emory and Nancy Downs!

(gif credit: loo-nuh-tik and diablito666)

Nancy isn’t really used to seeing other people who look like her so when she first saw you she just knew that she had to be friends with you and then suddenly you were dating. She loves your whole get go, the music, the style, the hair, your love for witchcraft? You’re both so similar that it’s a bit spooky (haha see what I did there? Sorry), she’s actually glad that you like the same things as her so she won’t feel the need to hide anything from you. She would melt if she caught you wearing her clothes, even one of her necklaces. Also she might steal some of your clothes - it’ll get to a point where neither of you will be able to tell who originally owned which shirt or pair of shoes. Practicing witchcraft with her is one of her favourite ways to spend time with you!

Cuddling and watching horror movies. Do I need to say more? These two LOVE cuddling with you and watching horror movies. Another thing they love about you is your art, they both think you’re so talented and anything you draw gets either hung up or kept somewhere safe, same goes for your writing, they’ll want to read it no matter what it’s about. They both seem like scary and heartless people but they’re not, especially around you since you’re their weakness. Asa and Nancy are both new to videogames, they’re aware of them but they’ve never had the time to try any out. Nancy would love the silent hill games while Asa probably wouldn’t be too into any games, maybe Bioshock? 

Nancy has a short temper of her own and although she doesn’t really know how to control herself most of the time, she knows a few tricks to help calm herself down at least enough to not want to fill someone’s house with bugs and snakes which she’ll offer to you if you’re ever upset (the tricks, not the bugs). Again, they both seem scary and heartless but if anything or anyone is bothering you then they’ll help out no matter what. Asa would be the type to “dislike” the idea of having a cat but imagine this, late at night while he’s grading test papers or maybe even passed out from overworking himself, cuddling up with the cat and gently snoring. But Asa does have two dogs so if you did get a cat then it’d have to stay away from those two. Meanwhile Nancy would be over the moon - but she’d definitely want a black cat because why not. 

The only problem with Asa is that he loves insects and spiders and he collects them (he does study them so there’s no surprise there). He might try to help you with your phobias but if it doesn’t help then he’ll try to keep that side of his work away from you. I feel like Asa is the type to leave little post it notes on your bathroom mirror with messages like “water the plants” “I love you” and “go to sleep early” neatly written on them before he goes to work. Sometimes Asa will try to force you to go to sleep but then when you deny his request and stay up until 4am, he’ll roll his eyes when he sees you yawning and struggling to stay awake at breakfast the next morning while telling you off about going to bed late.

[moonwolfprincess]

some of explaining my style and some of my own mental health

Skill´s to imrove:i need to improve my skills in the lineart becouse i want to make it more thin and look porsinal and so it doesn`t look so bad or i can feel conforable showing to people in school or my family and i try to draw my own human way of bodie´s.

Shading is ok but i would i like get it looking much better and it shows what my charather is about and are as a person if they where real.

If i want to learn to find more good base colours so it actually fit but not so bad and i also need to make better charather designs so if someone else gonna draw so it easy for the people who know to animate can animate it if i´m gonna make my own anime like i can charather design and draw and i love to write very much so i don´t mind to learn more about charather design becouse it gonna maybe turn into my job or i wish it will become a part of my job but i also like to get insparation from other people who work with charather design and sometimes to follow my acount and i be like no you much better than how dare you be so good.

I also want to make my own comic but i make it by myself and not letting other do the comic i just make the charather´s in my style and try make the comic make sense becouse im very naive and stupid.

If im gonna make like a hybrid i really want it to look good but not so bad like i want to learn how to draw fur.

What i´m want to work as:i want to work with graphic design and other stuff like writting is i skill i need to know and learn becouse i want to maybe become a writer but i think i was so many interest so i maybe have mimium of five job´s maybe i am tressin myself out but it also becouse i love to work and i may also turn into a burn out twice but i still make money.

I´m not gretty when comes to work but i also have greed for succied and not open myself up but i am open minded but with fellings not at all.

But i also like to make other people suffer what they did but it`s only they say i should stop and i asked them to and say no they didn`t i will make them just suffer in the most the pain other fell.

I also would love to pratice digital art and i also love improv my skills.

What outfit to i want try draw:i want to draw like my own gacha outfit with some more editals that i really want in there show more that i may be that type person who doesn´t line up with the sexual and romantic oritation like the romantic bi,pan or onmi while the sexual near the greysexual spectrum and the specturm differend acesexual even i say im a demisexual but also a lesbain becouse i like other girl´s but i think more romantic than sexual becouse my acesexuality is pretty high becouse people think im sexual bu im not i like to have a relitionship just romanticly.

I also loved to be myself and not care what people think about me even it can hit my mental health very badly after few day´s but i always had freind´s who helped me still have a good mental health.

And when parent make rules for their children and they not don´t even follow their own rules i get that becouse my parent´s are like that to but i get always mad at them but they say they don´t to that or i just miss earing it well no im have perfect clear earing so i don´t ear wrong they can just say i do they just need to redeem well it it doesn´t i still want them in my life even it´´s not my parent´s i rather to i have be alone than working or talking with them so when i be alone i work much faster and i make alot of my own brain storm.

I can also relate almost everyone that you know in real life the gas light you all the time it´s just hurt´s and you start to feel guilty you get trust issues and i never liked how it fell´s when i cry i rather run to the bathroom or a room i can be alone so i work and fell good so i can fell better and some times like now i may gonna go to the bathroom and tear up but feel happier after ward and i may not eat but i feel either way i gonna fell better afterward like tomorrow.

[scorpiosanssexy]

sun- scorpio (twinsss) moon-leo rising-cancer THANK U IN ADVANCED

I have risen from the dead!! and no problem I hope this was worth the wait

i match you with Kuroo Tetsurou

star sign: Scorpio

Scorpio Sun: Those with Sun in Scorpio are known to be observant and very intuitive. Kuroo is truely fascinated by your amazing perspective and how you can read people so easily, sometimes your dates will consits of a cute picnic in the park (where kuroo packs loads of fruit and basically feeds you because y’know gotta treat your partner like royality) afterwards you will literally sit and do some people watching, Kuroo is amazed with the backstories you come with because they are so deep and meaningful, you see past the mask people wear infront of the world and it is evidant (kuroo backstories are always extrememly ridiculous like he just thinks everyone is a serial killer). You also unveil the mask he wears himself, Kuroo has that shady sort of persona, always joking about and making witty comments as a sort of defense mechanism. When he is with you he feels so at rest, he doesn’t need to carry this facade and when he is getting stressed from captain duties he knows he came running into your arms and listen to your profound advice ( of course not complete without some amazing cuddles where you play with kuroos hair as you hold him close you your chest). As a scorpio you are the most determind of all the zodiac but you may have a tendancy to bottle up your problems. Whilst Kuroo may not be the most emotionally tuned out of all the characters in the HQ universe but he definetely acts as a pillar of support. He will literally hug the living daylights out of you whispering sweet nothings in your ear and maybe the odd chemistry pun to cheer you up too. In addition, Scorpios are very passionate, it doesn’t matter how obscure your interest is, Kuroo could spend hours just listening to you talking about your passions and dreams, he really pays attentions and loves to ask questions. Sometimes though you will see a serene expression on his face as he admires they way your smile or how your eyes light up, one time he compared them to asteroids in the sky but he accidentally said it aloud, cue a slightly embarassed kuroo and a laughing you. The point is Kuroo loves it when you geek out and show your true deep and passionate self.

Leo Moon: Personally, to me Leo moon is one of the most romantic position of the moon, natives are hopeless romantics and love having the attention of their romantic interest. Kuroo has absolutely no qualms about giving you his undivided attention, he loves the fact that your welcome his touches with open arms, being a hand on your thighs when you are having lunch together, spooning each other after a long practice or you sitting on his lap infront of the entire team (with some wandering kisses on Kuroo’s part). He just loves how affectionate and romantic you are with him and the pair of you indulge in one another all the time ( Kenma is always complaining about your PDA but Kuroo says he is just jealous). Another key trait of Leo moon, is despite their dramatic persona they are very courgeous and loyal which I have always believed that this characterstic is overlooked when talking about the sign of Leo. Kuroo was shocked the day you asked him out on a date, he had been pining for you but was always too scared to ask in case it ruined your friendship. He was so happy when you asked him out that he literally short circuited, it took him a good 10 minutes to come to terms with what had just happend because he couldn’t believe someone as cool as you would even be interested in him, the maths just didn’t make sense. Also the fact that you are always up for an adventure is something Kuroo finds very attractive, you guys are always trying out different cuisines, doing new activities together (unfortnately Kuroo just cannot draw to save his life) and of course just having lots of fun. There is never a dull moment in this relationship and Kuroo believes you are one of the most interesting person he has ever met. Your loyality is something he values you very deeply, whether it be proudly wearing his captain jersey to his matches (Lev and yamamoto are very jealous) or when Kuroo is having a bad day you are always ready to cheer him up by giving him lots of cuddles or simply listening to his woes. To him you are the brightest star he has ever seen and there is no way he is ever going to let you go.

Cancer Rising: The first impression of those with cancer on the ascendant are that they are sensitive and nuturing. When Kuroo first met you he always remembers how kind and empathetic you are to those around you. A vivid memory he has of you is when one day he forgot his lunch, he knew he needed to eat because he has an intense volleyball pratice that day, so to his shock when he see’s you offering some of yours he cannot help put stutter out and thank you and awkwardly asks you if you want to sit with him. Once his initial embarassment dies down the pair of chat about everything, from your favourite TV shows to conspiracy theories, he is completely amoured by your kind persona. Cancer rising like to connect deeply, preferring intimacy over superficality. Kuroo loves to come over to your house and sleepovers at the weekend as well as watching trash movies and doing skincare routines on one another this is also a time where the pair of you are so intimate with one another. Small kisses on all your body and maybe the occasional raspberry on the neck, Kuroo will literally just tell you how amazing you are and reminding you that he is the luckiest man in the world. In these moments you are faced with the more serious and emotional side of Kuroo, the man who will profess his undying love for you with his physical affection like basically bear hugging you so you cannot escape (but also allowing you room to breath, y’know the best kind). Lastly Cancer risings are known to have this dreamy expressions on their face. Kuroo could stare at your serene expression for hours and still never get bored, to him you look like an angel (that is his nickname for you), he does sometimes take pictures without you knowing but would always delete them if you asked, he just loves the way you stare peacefully off into space and may or may not have that as his lockscreen. Overall, your relationship with Kuroo is pure and emotional (in a good way) with of course some fun and flair on your part and some teasing on his part.

[kokoronbain]

Let me present...

Paloma The Winged Ghost! 💃🕊

Names in other languages: Paloma (Original/English/Spanish), 赤 ハ天使/Aka Hatenshi (Japanese/Romajin)

Alias: Angel Ghost, Solo Dancer, Dancer in Red

Gender: Female

Species: (Alive) Homo Nintendonus - (Dead) Ghost

Personality: Passionate, positive, shy, associable, independant, childish but serious if need, nostalgic, curious

Occupation: (Alive) Professional Dancer; Background Dancer; Performer in movies - (Dead) Dancer; Artist-Painter

Relationship: Main Friends/Family-like = Pratically all ghosts of the Last Resort

She does mainly flamenco and tango but she knows A LOT of kinds of dances and likes to try and adapt it when it's all new to her.

Poor and orphan, even being pretty young and little, she started to dance in streets for gaining money until she was noticed by a club of dancers

She was later adopted by them and traveled towards the world

She started to be in theaters and sometimes musical comedies

Then in the first movie she played, she met Morty at work and this last highlighted her more than others because he said that "Paloma is very expressive: She shows all emotions I need for my movies!". It was the best moment of her career

5 years later, Morty died and she hadn't anymore big roles thanks to him since

Becoming a ghost, she woke up without remembering the reason of her dead and almost who she is

She was taken by Hellen Gravely who found her and bringed her to the Last Resort

Not having her own floor, she lives in a room from the RIP Suites aka the 5th floor

In her beforelife, she always dreamt to sleep more and to have times to draw. Now in her afterlife, she has times to draw but she rarely sleeps

For dancing, she has possibilites to go to:

- The Great Stage but it's mainly to listen Amadeus' musics

- The Paranormal Productions when Morty asks her for his movies

- The Ball Hall when she wants to dance with others, and in bonus try more outfits with DJ Phantasmagloria

- The Rooftoop when she wants to dance all alone (as long King Boo and Hellen Gravely aren't present)

More times pass, more she remembers some moments of her life, and little by little how it ended... she starts to be traumatised by that

She can't explain why the wings are fusioned on her ghost back but that doesn't bother her: she loves having the feeling to fly thanks to that!

Falling in love easily, she has a crush of a lot of ghosts in the Last Resort... and there is one that she thinks more than others 👀

[otomelavenderhaze]

good morning-afternoon-night! i hope i'm not bothering you with this ask, but since ive seen you are a great artist i thought that, if you don't mind, you could give me some advice? i draw with pencil and i see that even if i pratice everyday, i just doesn't seem to get better. it's the same weird looking and bad drawings, always! i try references, try doing on my own, but i'm not evolving. i can't pay for classes, so you know any advice available on the internet?

You’re not bothering at all. First of all, thank you for thinking that I’m a great artist, it’s really flattering. 

I’m self-taught as well, when I started I had a very little base. That’s why I searched for videos that could help me. If wasn’t for Kienan Lafferty’s tutorials videos, I wouldn’t know for was start, then for traditional art I watched Drawingwiffwaffles that has a lot of videos of drawing on paper and JelArts helped me a lot too. 

I will be honest with you, I think digital art is easier to learn and get to the point of looking good than traditional. For me, a big game-changer was buying my Wacom, because my traditional art feeds off my experiments with digital art while my digital art really needed me to keep drawing traditionally. 

But I can understand if you can’t buy it now, so I will give you some actual tips that I find useful. 

First: be kind to yourself. Learning something alone is a struggle, you feel like you’re not improving, that have stopped your progress, then try something new and try to enjoy it. 

When I say try something new I also say copy other’s artists' strong points, there is a certain way that these artists draw noses? Try copy it. There is this a certain way that these other artists shade their sketches? Try it. 

You’re not stealing their whole art to post or to claim as yours, you’re trying to understand how they do certain things that you can’t. You not going to post it, it’s to be on your sketchbook and be something personal. 

I search for a lot of references on Pinterest (I know it’s a devil’s tool, but it’s hella useful) and they have pieces of everything! You can print some and put beside your sketchbook, I don’t incentive you to trace them, because you need to train your eyes, but experiment with it. 

Another thing that was a turning point to me was learning how to sketch only with pen and color pencils. They’re tools that going to frustrate you a lot, because they push you to do better, but they’re very useful when you get the hang of it. The best sketches on my sketchbook are in color pencils. 

Another thing that helped me tons too: drawing other things besides human figures. You can draw anything, plants, animals anything that you love and you will see how it’s easier, how it helps with warm-ups and how good it feels. 

When I brought to myself a small sketchbook, where I could take everywhere I went, doesn’t matter how busy I was, I would take some minutes of my day (while waiting for class to start) and draw something, anything, sometimes I would draw only eyes, other times I would draw only pose figures, others I would draw cats... but I never tried to have full-finished ones, everything was very sketchy because I really wanted to experiment and have some fun. It wasn’t for others to see. It’s all for me. 

Sorry if I wrote a lot kkkkkk I hope this helps. 

It’s important that you let yourself try to absorb for other’s artstyle so you can find yourself at some point, if you don’t, then there is not much you will find yourself learning. 

[amazingana]

In the last days 9

So, i’m not seeing to much, because i’m trying to focus on draw, but i found new things that i thing you guys are gonna like it. So... let’s begin!

P.s. the art is not mine 

Boruto

I always liked Naruto, since i was a kid. I watched three times, and read the whole manga collection( that a friend gave to me, but i don’t like to keep books). So, Boruto was something new. I tried to watch, but i didn’t like. And this week, i thought: why not try to watch again? 

BEST DECISION EVER! 

Boruto is awesome! Is incredible to see how everyone changes, the city is not the same... And try to understand Boruto, and try to don’t gets angry because he is a young yet (i’m in episode 80). 

kipo

A Netflix’s cartoon, Kipo is a girl who lives in a world in the future, where the world have huge animals, and different type of creatures, who can talk and act like human.

She mets Wolf, a little girl who lived alone, Benson, a boy that loves hip hop,  Mandu, a little and cuttie pig and Dave, a creature who is Benson’s friend. Together, they fight against Hugo, a evil creature trying to control the humans and world. 

In the second season, we discovery a new evil, and more things about Kipo.

Web Toon Down To Earth

I found this one yesterday and i’m already finish. I need moreee

This web toon is about an alien girl, who fall in earth, and a boy who rescue her. They start to live together, and fellings start to appear... 

Read some romance historys makes me cry, and this one made this. When i saw this boy, i just remember about the fellings that i still have for my ex, after years, and how is hard to me to move on with another person. 

I think i already talk to much haha 

Vup

I just found yesterday this app on steam, and i’m here to recommend, because is great if you wanna draw something. You can chose a character and cenary, change them and... lags a lot  haha 

But is great if are you learning anatomy, i’ll use this to pratice anime expressions. 

[that-writer-who-never-posts]

A second chance

Hello! I got this beautiful request from @imnotusedtobeingloved thank you for trusting me with something so deep!

Prompt: The reader’s chances of surviving a family decease are small, but Tom is not giving up on her. (I changed a bit, hope you don’t mind!)

Warnings: Mentions of cancer, death and lots of angst. But it does have a happy ending!

Ps: when I say football, I mean soccer, call it whatever you want, but Tom is british, so...

like 3k words of pure drama.

---

       Looking at your kids, your 6 year-old daugther Elena and your 4 year-old son Gael, you could only find genetics awesome. How your love could create a perfect mixture of you and Tom... But you prayed every second of your life they wouldn't have to deal with some of your genes.          

         -Flash back on-

         Before you could get over your grandma's death because of stomach cancer, your mother had to start treating the same problem.

           Her situation was pretty stable. The doctors believed she would be cured easily. When she came back home, your family threw a party for her.

          It was a small family reunion at the living room of the house where you grew up. Your mom really seemed healthy, specially after she saw her grandchildren.

          But when you came in, you saw some of your relatives looking at you with an worried expression. Some asked if you had lost weight and some decided it was better not say anything. You told them you were just tired, it was a busy year at work and dealing with your mom's decease after losing a person you loved wasn't easy for you. You heard Tom talking to someone and telling them he worries too, but he just can't get you to eat.

          But you pretended you didn't hear anything. All the people around you knew about your family situation, they should understand.

          You were sitting with Tom and watching the kids play on the floor, surrounded by your family, when you started to feel nauseous. You stood up and went to the bathroom to wash your face with some cold water.

          But on the way, you felt that wouldn't be enough, you had to throw up. You got on your knees in front of the toilet and tried to think of something you ate that could have caused that. But you realized you haven't been eating anything different... You had barely been eating, you never felt hungry anymore.          After throwing up two or three times, you opened your eyes to find a pool of blood in front of you. You stood up and looked in the mirror. You looked absolutely terrible, the color of your skin disappeared and had blood on your lips.          You started to panic. You couldn't let your mom see you like that, you didn't know what was going on, but couldn't be good, and the last thing she needed right now was to worry about you.

          Taking a deep breath, you washed your face until there was no blood left, but your color wouldn't come back.

           You headed to the living room and was relieved everyone was watching the kids run around the place, so they didn't notice you. But Tom did.          "Y/N?" Tom standed up and went to meet you because you were walking too slowly. He grabbed your hands and touched your colorless face. "What happened, love? You're so cold!"

          "I have to get out of here." You whispered weakly.

          "What?" He could barely hear your voice.

          But when you tried to speak again, your vision started to go black and the last thing you felt were Tom's arms not letting you hit the ground.          You woke up on the hospital and started to cry.

          "Y/N..." Tom was sitting on the chair beside the hospital bed, and when he heard you crying he joined your side in one jump. "Shhh... It's okay, darling. I'm here."

          He sat on the bed with you and brought you to his chest.

          "I ruined everything." You cried. "How is my mother?"

          "She was really worried. Everyone was " He knew he couldn't lie to you. "But now we're here, you're going through a few exams and you're going to be okay."

          "The kids?" You tried to calm yourself down, but you kept remembering how many people saw what just happened.

          "They are at your mother's house. They will be fine." He kissed your forehead. "Y/N... You have to tell the doctors exactly what is going on."

          "I just felt nauseous."

           "Y/N... There was blood in the sink, if you don't tell the truth, the doctors won't be able to help you."          You spent the rest of the day on the hospital, Tom insisted the doctors should do every exam they could.

          But you started to become anxious. Your kids were probably scared after seeing you pass out like that, and taking that long to come back would make it worse. You just wanted to leave, but Tom was there, holding your hands and trying to calm you down.          Seemed like hours passed, when a nurse entered the room, followed by the doctor who had the results in hands.

           The doctor seemed a little upset, and was definitely choosing each word carefully. As he spoke, your heart started to race, you knew where he would end up. You heard all that before.

          "I'm really sorry, it's never easy to say this." He said with a sad smile. "But you have a stomach cancer. It's a genetic condition. The good news is that we discovered it really early, so the treatment is more likely to work."

          You felt you would pass out again. Why? Why was your family cursed like that? You were so young and had so many plans. You had two beautiful children to raise and a dream to grow old with your husband that would never come true.          Tom was really strong, though. The doctor left the room and you stood there in silence for a while, but he was holding you the entire time.

          "You're going to be okay. Your mom is doing great, I bet you can do even better, you'll see." He said, but you could hear he was holding the tears.          "No, Tom." You replied emotionless. "It's fine, I think deep down I knew it. I just... Didn't think it would be so soon. Maybe I get to see Gael learning to read, he will be so proud when he does. But I won't be able to help Elena when a boy breaks her heart. Oh, Tom... Please, never let anyone break their hearts..."          "Stop saying that..." He can't help but cry now. "You are going to be here for them. You are going to be right here beside me. You are going to fight this and win, okay?"

          "I'm scared." You whisper.

          You never saw that man so deeply hurt in your life. But he would be strong for both of you if he had to.

         -A few months after-

         You stood in front of the mirror, finishing to get ready to take your kids to the park.

          "Have I told you that you look absolutely stunning with short hair?" Tom's head appears on the bedroom's entrance.

          "Pretty much 5 times everyday." You smile at him. "At least I'm not bald anymore."

��         When you had to shave your head for the chemotherapy, you felt horrible. You already looked sick, but without your hair, you thought you would feel the ugliest woman alive. But you really didn't, it was a lot easier than you thought. Only because Tom would compliment you whenever he laid his eyes on you, he would also proudly talk about you on interviews, saying how strong and beautiful you were.

          Your treatment made you very weak and you lost even more weight. Was hard making small children understand that some days they wouldn't be able to see you, some days they would, if they wore a mask and didn't touch you, or you would get sick. When you had to stay at the hospital, you would recieve drawings and homemade gifts to tell you how much they missed you. All that only gave you more strenght to survive and be the mom they deserved again.          Tom's fans were also important to you. Even the ones who didn't like you would send support messages and tell you they really hoped you would get over all this. There were hashtags trending on almost every social media to let you know you weren't alone.          "Are you sure you want to go, love?" Tom asked on a serious tone.          "I'm just going to sit there." You smile at him. "I can do this. I could use some fresh air."

          He was worried because on the last few days you would get breathless really easily. Simply going from your bedroom to the kitchen would obligate you to sit down to recover. But you would see your doctor in 2 days, so there wasn't a reason to run to the hospital at that moment.          It was a vey beautiful day. You placed a towel on the grass and sat on it.          "Let's play football, mommy?" Gael said excitedly and it broke your heart. You used to play football with them all the time, now you could barely stand up and he didn't understand why.

          "Gael..." Tom said when he noticed your sad expression. "We have to let mommy rest as much as we can so she will be good soon to play with us, remember?"

          The little boy was disappointed, but nodded.

          "I love you, mommy." Elena said wrapping her little arms around your shoulders. "I would wait a miiiiiiillion years to play with you."

          Gael joined the hug and you smiled widely. Tom watched the scene absolutely in love.

          "Alright..." You say wipping a tear that escaped. "Then you better go pratice, cause when I get back, I won't let anyone win."

          "Let's go!" Elena gasped and grabbed the ball, running with her brother. "Come on, Daddy!"

          Tom looked at them, then looked at you a bit lost, he thought he should stay with you to keep you from getting sad and lonely.

          "Go, have fun." You winked at him.

          He laughed.

          "You better get well soon, our team needs you." He smiles and turns around to join the kids.

          The sadness for not being able to play with them disappears soon. This decease taught you to appreciate more all the things. Just being able to leave your bed and watch the three people you love the most having fun was enough to warm your heart.

          It was funny watching they play, Tom was so much taller than the kids, you were afraid he would kick them, instead of the ball. At some point, the game became just the two kids running around your husband. Pretending it was a very hard task, he grabs one kid with each arm and starts tickling them.

          You couldn't help but laugh at their adorable laughs. You kept laughing until you started coughing. You got so angry, it was like no fun was allowed for you. You began to cough harder, covering your mouth with your hand. When you looked at your hand, you felt a shiver on your spine.

          Blood. Again.

          That was the day you received the news that the cancer was now on lungs. You weren't getting better, it was just spreading so fast the doctors couldn't detect it.          -Flash back off-          And there were you. Having to live with a heritage your family never wanted to give you.

          Ten days passed since that day at the park. On the first day, the doctors told Tom that your only chance at this point was going throught the strongest treatment they had. But for someone who was already fragile because of several sessions of chemo like you, the side effects could kill you even faster. The chances of success were near 5%, but without it, they are 0%.

          And since the process was so dangerous, you couldn't get a single visit. The time you weren't knocked out because of the medicines, all you did was cry because you wouldn't be able to say goodbye to your family.

          The doctors didn't know if the treatment was working so far, but they knew your body wouldn't be able to take much more of that. And that's why you decided to do something.

          When the nurse entered the room to serve you dinner, always the same tasteless soup because that's all you could eat, you asked her a favour.          "Please..." You asked with tears in your eyes. "Can you bring me a pen and some paper?"

          "Do you want me to give someone a call?" She offered kindly.

          "No..." You reply. "I need to write this. On my own."

          The nurse nodded and did as you asked.

          You looked at the blank paper for a moment. You knew what you wanted to write, but you also knew you would have to use an amount of energy you didn't have. You didn't care, they deserved it. You wouldn't go anywhere without a proper goodbye.          Dear Tom,

           I could write a million pages and still not be able to tell you how sorry I am for breaking your heart. I tried. You know I did. But know that I would never be here writing this if it wasn't for you. And know that the last forces I have I will use to think about you. The only better way to go would be if I could see you one last time, but I prefer that you remember me in a completely different way.When our babies grow up, tell them that we didn't have much time together, but I loved them for a lifetime. Let my mom know that she was a far better mother than me, because she survived all this, while I left my children.I hope you keep your promise, and never let anyone hurt them, like I'm doing right now.Tell all your fans that it was a huge honour to have their positive thoughts. Don't be sad for Tom, guys. He will find someone and be happy again. I mean it, my angel. I love you more than I could ever tell you, and that's why I don't want your life to end when mine does. The day that smile of yours cease to exist, all the beautiful things in this world will lose their magic. You were the most beautiful dream I ever had. But now I have to wake up.

Yours even after my heart stops beating,

Y/N.          ---          You wake up in a different room. Was it afterlife? Did you die? You start to freak out. Did you finish the letter? What if the nurses found it but didn't give it to Tom? And is this heaven or hell? Looks like an hospital bed to you.

          You stared at the ceiling for a while. Whatever reality this was, you liked it. You didn't feel any pain.

          A few minutes after, you heard the door opening and the nurse who gave you the paper came in.

          "Mrs. Hiddleston?" She called excitedly. "Are you awake? Can you hear me?"

          You looked at her confused and nodded.

          "Tom." That's all you could say.

          "He's outside, darling." The nurse's smile fadded. "I... I entered your room the other day and found a letter with his name on. I thought I should give it to him."

          You sighed relieved.

          "He was absolutely devasted when he read it." She continued. "He tried to come into your room, we had to call security."

          You watched her with wide eyes, waiting for more information.

          "He lives in the waiting room now." The woman adds. "Everyday when I arrive he is already there, the other nurses were saying that he leaves around 7pm to see your kids at your mother's house then comes back a few hours later."

          You felt tears rolling down your cheeks. You hated to imagine how much he was suffering, and the kids had lost both their mom and dad at once.          "Don't cry!" Her smile came back. "You'll be able to see him today, right after the doctor sees you." 

         "What happened?" You ask weakly.

           "You passed out because of the medication. The doctors realized it was attacking your healthy cells, instead of the cancer cells." She explaned. "But that's because you don't have them anymore. The treatment was a success. When the exams came out, nobody believed it. Doctors from other hospitals came to hear about your case."

          "I'm cured?" You smiled widely.

          "For now, your exams don't show anything wrong." The nurse confirmed. "But we'll keep you here for a while, just to make sure."          ---                    A little more than a year passed since you left the hospital. You joked you never really left, because you had to come back every now and then to make sure everything was fine. But you couldn't complain, hearing the doctor say you were cured a hundred other times felt as good as the first.          "Mom, you're a lot better on football than dad." Elena commented as your family arrived at the park.

          "Ohhhh did you hear that?" You laugh.

          "She's just happy you're going to play with us today, darling." Tom rolls his eyes. "She doesn't mean it."

          "It's true, sometimes daddy tickles us and that's cheating." Gael added to his sister.

          "Sorry, babe." You shrug. "You clearly lost this one."

          "Lost the discussion but will win the game. All three of you against me." He positions the ball in the middle of an imaginary field.          The match started and you felt nothing but pure happiness. You could run with them, feel the freedom that was back to your life. You could stand still and watch your happy family. You could even help Tom tickle the kids and be accused of treason because of that.

          But most importantly, you could be the wife and the mother you thought you wouldn't live to be.

---

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[mintychocolatechip]

Chpt #4 In Your Eyes I See Embers

Chapter 4: Lucid Reality

Sorry for taking so long, but alas i have another chapter for you guys. Please review/comment, let me know what you think/what i can improve on n' such.

Enjoy uwu

The world is strangely cold around Ben as he rouses from his medically induced slumber. His mind is in shambles, and attempting to conjure any coherent thought would only succeed in worsening the pain. Still, Ben opens his eyes, hazily looking around trying to determine where he is. His gaze lands on a sequence of obnoxiously bright red lights. He tries to make sense of what it is but the aching in his head is too distracting.

Ben shuts his eyes, taking a moment to ease the pain coursing through his skull. Re opening them, the red lights are replaced with fuzzy yet readable numbers.

"6:30." Ben mumbles to himself. Slowly becoming aware of his surroundings.

'Thats right, a hospital room.' His thoughts becoming clearer as he peers through the red tinted darkness. The flowers at his bedside, monitor beeping above him, the stitches woven tightly at the back of his head all come to surface with each passing minute. Ben makes an attempt to move yet his body seems to still be quite heavy from his previous sleep. A faint shifting noise amidst the room draws his attention to the right. There Ben finds Mike along with Richie, and Eddie sleeping somewhat peacefully in the visitor chairs. The sight of it seeming a little strange, nevertheless a small sigh of relief escaped his lips. He felt much better knowing they were there.

He considered saying something, but the lingering exhaustion pulling at his mind had other plans. His eyes slowly fall shut, yet as he drifts the faintest sound falls upon his ears. Only it isn't audible, it exclusively rings in his head. It begins to take the form of a voice. Light coupled with firey optimism with a hint of mischeviousness. As it becomes more pronounced, Ben can feel the emotion hanging off of each word, sparking from an endless flame.

Embers

This mysterious voice draws him in effortlessly, and as sleep overtakes him Ben has the strangest dream. Freckled smiles, and wild auburn hair.

----------------

Endless rays of sunlight peered through wispy clouds. Gentle winds flow in seamless waves. Taking a slow deep breath, Beverly plops down among the soft blades of grass. Lucid dreams were nothing new to her; letting her thoughts, and disires take a somewhat physical form seemed... natural. The blue and pink sunset hue putting her mind at ease. A sigh escapes her lips as she basks in it all. Why couldn't all her dreams be as wonderful as this.

Amidst the gentle breeze, the strangest vision floods her mind. Images of a boy, short and chubby, his eyes a soft deep amber. She's so caught up in the essence of this child that she doesn't feel the faint buzzing in her head return, only asking the boy,

"What is... your name?" The question echos in her mind as the words leave her lips. The boy only smiles before sitting down next to her. He whispers his answer into her ear yet try as she might, she couldn't quite hear what he said.

"Wait huh, what did you say?" She asks again curiosity getting the better of her, however, the boy shakes his head wordlessly pointing in the distance.

Beverly doesn't see anything at first glance, yet as she peers into the endless meadow a blurry, human like figure comes into view. She turns to her right intending to ask the boy who this mysterious figure is, but he's gone. Turning back, Beverly decides to take note of the figures now apparent features. He's kinda tall, 6ft she's guessing. Chubby, but not overly so. The back of his hands are scarred, such a peculiar spot further spurs Bev's curiosity. Lastly, his hair rests in softly spiked waves, an underlining beard completing the soft yet rugged look. However Upon further inspection, Beverly's eyes widen in shock. There clear as day laid a scar, its shape and position mirroring hers. And as she she brings a hand up to graze it, the faint buzzing in her head intensifies to a consistant hum.

Beverly's mind prompts the question, 'who are you?' yet as soon as the thought occurs a name she's sure she doesn't recognize alligns itself with the man before her.

"Ben..." Subconsiously a smile makes it way onto her face. He seemingly returns it, a gentle lopsided grin gracing his features. Part of her wonders what caused her to dream up such an idea, but she quickly shrugged it off. Whatever it was it wasn't of any importance now. There are no words between the two, but Beverly wouldn't be able to imagine what his voice sounded like anyway. She turns her attention away from the man she believes to have conjured up, instead opting to further bask in the peacefullness of her presumed setting. She lays back shifting her gaze skyward, entranced by the almost formless clouds.

She raises a hand up to her head, lightly grazing the jagged scar. Once more, a vision comes to her. The images are blurry however she can clearly feel cold harsh wind whipping past her face, the flimsy wooden sled handle in-between her fingers. Suddenly she's twelve years old again, sliding down an impossibly steep hill. The humming in her head transforming into incessant pounding. She's Going faster, and faster until-

"BEV!" Beverly pratically rockets up, her eyes shooting open. Kay is there, a worried expression plastered on her face.

--------------

"Ben, man you ok?"

"Wha-" Ben finds himself suddenly back in his hospital room. Sweat glistening his forehead, his hand gripping the bed sheets tightly. Ben turns to see Mike, Richie, and Eddie all giving him a worried look.

"You suddenly got up hyperventilating." Eddie said giving context to their concerned expressions.

"You scared us half to death." Mike follows up. Ben simply breathes for a moment, collecting himself before speaking again.

"Sorry you guys, I...I guess I had a panic attack." He concludes earning a confused look from Richie.

"In your sleep?" He questions, to which Ben just shrugs he was still a bit out of it, too much so to come up with any logical answer. He lifts a hand to push the dampness of his bangs out of his face, but as soon as his hand touches his head he suddenly remembers his strange dream. The previous humming placed at his scar now gone, leaving him feeling strangely empty. However he isn't left much time to dwell on it as a doctor enters the room. It's a man, short and stocky with square-ish blue spectacles.

"Oh, you're awake, how are you feeling?" The man questions, prompting Ben to breath so he could check his heart rate. Ben complies, taking a deep breath before replying.

"I feel fine, a little dizzy though." Ben's words come out somewhat hoarse, and it's then when realizes that he's parched.

"Could use a little water." He continues, the doctor replying with a short, consise 'Of Course'. The doctor places the stethoscope at Ben's back, the cold steel causing him to shiver.

"Well, dizzyness is to be expected, given where the blood loss was coming from." In reaction to the doctors words Ben slowly brings a hand to the back of his head, cautiously grazing the sealed wound. His hair had already started growing back however, he could distinctly feel the tightness of each individually woven stitch.

"Try not to bother it too much, we can provide some form of ointment if the stitches start to itch." The doctor advises, Ben responding with a short 'hmm'. The doctor begins jotting down notes on his clipboard, no doubt taking note of Ben's current disposition. He glances over at the three guests before wrapping up his evaluation.

"You'll be cleared for leaving in say.. two days. In the mean time, you might want one of these gentlemen here to bring some of your belongings, such as spare clothes." He states as he puts away his equipment, Ben replying with a nod. The doctor assures a nurse will come by with water taking his leave in the process. Once he's gone Ben leans back, and sighs. Being stuck here for two days wasn't exactly a part of his weekend plan.

"Don't worry Ben I'll stop by your job, and tell 'em you can't come in." Mike says getting up to stetch.

"Thanks man, try not to let my boss get to you though, he can be a bit uptight." Ben says coughing slightly as the dryness in his throat got to him. Mike mumbles out a simple, 'No Problem' before taking his leave.

"I've got you on clothes Haystack, I'll stop by your place after grabbing breakfast." Richie proclaims, slowly lifting Eddies head off his shoulder before standing. Both Ben's, and Eddie's face light up at the idea of breakfast.

"Hot cakes please." Eddie says in a semi drowsy voice. Ben agrees, passing Richie his house keys, and a folded ten dollar bill.

"Same for me, anythings better than god awful hospital food." Ben says, earning a laugh from his two friends. With a small wave Richie left the room leaving Eddie with Ben to keep him company. Eddie proceeded to fall back asleep which was fair, he was never really a morning person. It was ok though, it allowed Ben time to think, and as he sat there peering through the large room window his mind brought him back to the dream he had. The peaceful meadow settled under a blue, and pink sunset. Gentle breezes slowly pushing formless clouds. It all seemed so surreal. Then there was her, the enigma that seemed to be the epicenter of his thoughts. The only question quietly whispering in his mind is why. Why again, why now...

-------------

"So, two days huh.." Kay started, breaking the silence between the two. Beverly nods, taking a moment to fix her hair so it doesn't obstruct her vision.

"It's no big deal, I'll probably be out sooner." Bev replies. She's lying of course, the pounding headache, and soreness in the back of her head are proof of that, but Kay doesn't need to know.

"Sure." Kay replies sarcaatically, and the two share a small laugh. However, it doesn't last long. An awkward silence follows, and Beverly is sure of whats coming next.

"You don't think this has anything to do with the incident do you?" Kay questions causing the bed ridden Bev to shift nervously.

"I....honestly can't say.." She doesn't sound sure at all of her answer, but deep down.. she knows it is. She's just too afraid to admit it. Kay senses the apprehension in Bev's words prompting her to back off a bit.

"It doesn't matter, I'm just glad your ok." Beverly smiles in response, and once more silence falls between the two only this time it's slightly more comfortable. Bev takes this time to recount her apparent visions. The small voiceless boy, and his older counterpart were nothing short of complete mysteries. His name then softly rings in her mind

"Ben.." It feels so familiar, as if she's known it her entire life.

"Who?" Kay's questioning snaps Beverly from her thoughts. She quickly composes herself, offering a quick if not slightly rushed 'Oh nothing'. Still, her mind wandered. Maybe in some twisted way this was all related to that incident.

Whatever it was, Beverly had a feeling she'd find out soon.

Once again I am very sorry for taking so long to post this. However In my absence I've completed about half of the next chapter so don't lose hope in me yet uwu.

Until next time...

Kylo Out

[mokutonprince]

I just needed some StrangeSpider in my stressful life.

The first time Peter met the Doctor, he was absolutley smitten, all shy smiles and rudy cheeks as he tried to complete the task Mr. Stark had sent him on. Something about being too busy working on his suit. Not that he was complaining. Now anyway.

Stephen regarded the teenager with a curious gaze, eyebrow cocked as he watched the boy stumble over some of his words, smirking when those doe brown eyes would catch his and Peter would flush all anew. It was absurdly adorable.

"Ah, M-mr. Stark sent me to give you this-" Peter reached into his hoodie pouch, withdrawing a a good handsized box with STARK printed right on top. Flashy as always.

"Something about needing to get ahold of you in case of emergencies. Because he said that you don't have anything up to date and that it is much easier and faster if he just gave you one of the team phones, ya know, just in case we- he needs you. For, um, missions and such." Peter had to bite his tongue to quite himself from his rambling, not wanting to annoy the older man, his flush only growning hotter and creeping up his ears when he just saw a smirk and bright eyes in return.

Stephen reached for the box, chucking quietly to himself at how flustered the boy had gotten. Indeed, even if he did not wish to be a full member of these Avengers, he also knew that he would be needed in the future and this, device would most definitly help aid them.

"I thank you for bringing this to me, Mr. Parker." His deep voice timbered out, nearly purring in satisfaction at the boys' quick inhale of breath.

"Peter. Call me Peter." He mumbled breathless before he cleared his throat, "But ah, you're welcome, D-Doctor."

And that really shouldn't sound as fucking sinful as is does when he says it, Stephen had to clench his jaw from making a sound, the cloak on his shoulders giving a faint rustle, seemingly sensing the reaction.

"Well, Peter." The Doctor purred this time, quite proud of himself as he watched the boy inhale once more, dark pupils dialating as he regarding the taller and older man before him.

"Again, I offer my gratitude for you making your way here just to bring me this device." Without waiting for the younger boy to even stutter a reply, Stephen reached for his hand and just had to take a second to admire just how soft yet strong those fingers felt in his palm.

"I do hope we can see more of eachother, my dear. I need more light in my Sanctum." Grinning, he kissed the still knuckles of Peter's hand, eyes never leaving the others.

Peter could only watch, eyes wide in honest to god surprise with a frog lodged in his throat, unable to respond as those heavenly lips pressed a kiss to his knuckles and fuck- if he would just put his mouth in other places- He forced himself to swallow, trying to clear his throat just so he could say something instead of standing like an idiot.

"Y-yes.." Peter pratically whimpered, feeling the heat from his entire face creeping down his chest and shoulders. He was going to melt to the fucking floor if he didn't leave and he really really didn't want to embarass himself infront of this man.

"I-I ah, Mr.Stark n-needs me back at the lab. I uhm, I can come back tomorrow-" Whoa, slow down there buckaroo. "Or next week!" Peter tried to fix, growing increasingly more embarassed and frustrated with himself. " I wouldn't want to bother you and y-your sanctum- I'm sure you're incredibly busy with stuff-"

"Peter." Stephen spoke up, his voice low and strong as it cause the boy to snap his mouth shut with quiet click of his teeth, brown eyes wide and near close to tears. But he only smiled in kind, giving another sweet kiss to his knuckles as a corner of his cloak reached out and around to pap the boy's cheek and wrap around his back in a loose embrase as he himself took a step closer, drawing Peter's attention up due to their difference in height.

"I would be honoured if you joined me for lunch tomorrow. I know of a beautiful little cafe not too far from here." And he honest to God, as a grown ass man, never felt more nervous in his life just by asking this gorgous young man out to lunch, it was hardly a date. But then Peter gave him the brightest smile and as a Doctor, he swore he felt his heart falter at the sight.

"Yes, please."

God help him.