#but I want to curate myself

[adhbabey]

Let's talk about some lesser known symptoms of autism! Maybe this will help some of you get a broader perspective on what this can be like. There is a whole grab bag of symptoms of autism, but here are some ones you may not know that you have.

Focus on truth

What does this mean? Well glad you asked. This is the focus on facts and logic rather than anything else. People have shown this as autistic people may refusing to lie because it goes against what they find as true. But that's not always the case.

Have you ever used logic to try and figure out your emotions?

Are you someone who doesn't understand why others may speculate when the current knowledge is right there? (such as subtext versus canon knowledge or theoretical arguments)

Do you find it frustrating when others avoid their problems as a way to avoid figuring out negative things? (such as avoiding conflict in a friend group)

Is it easy for you to talk about your strengths and flaws? Do you know your likes, dislikes and limits pretty well?

High context communication

This is preference on details and the full context of any situation. Often going into great detail and backstory to anything.

Do you feel as though you need to overexplain to give the person everything they need to know?

Have you ever apologized to someone by explaining the deep and meaningful reasons of why you did it, before you said you were sorry? And maybe even felt upset or confused why they reacted badly?

Have you ever felt stressed out because you wanted to give others full detail but they either interrupted you or cut you off?

Are you stressed out by people who tell you what to do and not why they want you to do it?

Are you ever told that you talk back a lot?

Do you prefer recipes versus verbal/vague instructions? (All the things that you need such as ingredients, measurements, prep time, etc.)

Do you really like watching deep dives and knowing about the whole history of something you're even vaguely interested in?

Identity diffusion

This is not everyone's experience, and it is common in a variety of other disorders such as DID and BPD. However, it is when you do not know who you are in regards to others. This is also known as identity disturbance.

Have you ever felt like an outsider without knowing why?

Are you deeply interested on what other people think of you? Especially if it's all the time?

Do you really like taking personality tests and quizzes? Are you interested in horoscopes?

Do you feel like you don't fit in any one specific group? Either being a loner, or hopping in between many different groups?

Do you ever feel weirder than the "weird kids" group? Do you not really get along or feel like you belong with them?

Do you have low self esteem when it comes to comparing yourself to your friends? Do you feel like they're better or more capable than you?

Do you feel drastically unimportant and not as interesting or cool as everyone else?

Have you ever related to narratives surrounding a character that is the last of their kind?

Do you feel like your identity is a vast and gaping void, that even if you learn a little bit, that you'll never know everything?

Internalized repetition

This is one of those traits that not every autistic person experiences, but that some might. You could say that for all autistic traits, but hey, good to know regardless. Because of internalized repetition, you may not do many external stims, besides vocal.

Do you listen to a song over and over again? Perhaps having a playlist on repeat?

When stressed out, do you type the same word or phrase over and over again?

Do you like looking at the same things, such as the same color or the same artist's works?

Do you really like certain patterns, crystals or aesthetics?

Do you enjoy games with recognizable fighting patterns? (Such as character rotation, boss battle rotation, etc.)

Struggling to connect to others *

This is something that's been characterized by struggling to connect to others through their emotions, but the opposite is actually true for many autistic people. *I will be talking about those who struggle to connect to others who are emotionally distant or unavailable. Being emotionally distant or not showing emotions externally is a trait that many autistic people share, but for those without alexithymia, they may struggle to understand why anyone wouldn't like to talk about their emotions. I don't know the specific symptom term for this, so please bare with me. If anyone would like to inform me about what this is called, please tell me.

Do you struggle to talk with dry texters, or tend to over-examine people's tone through text?

Do you have anxious attachment?

Do you feel disconnected with many other autistic people and struggle to make friends or talk to them?

Do you feel embarrassment or shame with being emotionally sensitive?

Have you fallen down the rabbit hole of things like starseeds, star children or empaths?

Do you want to talk about serious emotions a lot, even when its not appropriate?

Do you trauma dump or wish people would become more emotionally intimate with you? Do you enjoy it when people share their deep traumas with you, even if it's triggering?

Are you constantly reassurance seeking?

There is plenty more symptoms out there, and these are just a few that stood out to me, because I think I may be autistic. I've always related somewhat, but never connected the dots. But there are reasons for that, such as identity diffusion and thinking I'm different from everyone else no matter what. I struggled because I didn't seem to have a lot of the outward and visible symptoms that were often talked about. I thought every autistic person had alexithymia, when that's just not true. My best friend, who has similar symptoms to me, along with another close friend of mine, have a similar presentation of autism. And it's taken quite a bit for me to accept or process. I feel like I'm faking my experiences just because I've self diagnosed before. And I'm angry that ADHD isn't given enough significance.

But I think I might be autistic, and this article that I based this post off of, confirmed it. So here's my post informing and coming out on that. You can be autistic and highly masking without actually knowing what's going on is masking. You can be autistic and have a spectrum of verbality, you can be autistic and struggle to connect to anyone who isn't immediately emotionally intimate with you. You can be autistic and not relate at all to other autistic people.

You're not alone.

[beescake]

Sorry for the spam (^o^;) I just really like your blog

no need to apologize ayy!

in this corner we welcome all forms of enjoyment, regardless of whether you're a

happy to have yall here w me,

headin into homestuck 2024 :^)

[gxtzeizm]

the fact that me, as a fan of both lando and oscar without any bias (maybe a bit on lando but not that much), is going to witness both "oscar fans, lando antis" and "lando fans, oscar antis" posts all in my one dash 🥲🥲

also the fact that atp i couldn't even bother enough with this same situation on both lewis and george. now it happens on lando and oscar as well which got me like....

[goldkirk]

hey this isn’t aimed at anyone in particular but I’m saying it for the record here: if I tell you no, please stop messaging me about fundraisers and mutual aid.

I get enough messages that it’s impossible for me to keep up without devoting at least half an hour each day, when I’m not even on tumblr that long most days. Me having a boundary about this isn’t a moral failing, it’s a lifeboat for me on my own blog.

In my personal life I’m already advocating and donating literally as much as I can spare. This is not me not caring, it’s just me not willing to interact with that on the one place I go online to not interact with irl news and world events for the most part.

I cannot be upset all the time. I cannot be upset everywhere. I cannot use all my emotional and mental energy fielding my own upset from ongoing events. My options are to hold boundaries about this or stop coming online at all.

I’m all for sharing information and signal boosting to reasonable extents, but the scale of it this year is so large and so enduring that it is literally not possible to for me to participate on every account I have. I’ve previously shared links to Gaza eSIM donations and a major hub of verified Go Fund Mes here and elsewhere online. We, the online humans, know how to look those things up ourselves by now. There are many, many people choosing to do advocacy work, and right now, I can’t be one of them.

If you’re extremely upset when I tell you I can’t share/donate right now about a Gaza family or personal fundraiser you ask me to share here, just unfollow and block me. That’s what those buttons are for. Protect your own emotions and energy and get me off your feed instead of staying upset and continuing to engage with online people or content that upsets you.

Please don’t send repeated angry messages based on manufactured purity politics and moral outrage into my messages and inbox when I exercise the right to run my own blog.

[spiderwarden]

*draws gun on the dash* and for the love of God, don't ever softblock me. I loathe that. I have structured my blog to people I like, if you want to unfollow me just unfollow. we don't have to be mutuals for me to enjoy your content.

[bookwyrminspiration]

me, of my own free will, clocking into the kotlc tag every morning to see what we’re arguing about this time

[the-woman-upstairs]

It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.

[venstm]

i have updated my rules and encourage my mutuals to have a look.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

You are literally one of the only reasons I'm still partially in the WH fandom /pos

🫡 just doin' my duty sir

[honeypleasejustkillme]

"i like your personality" thanks i have 10 more

[coffeebanana]

One thing in regards to ml leaks and episodes airing out of order that I don't think I've seen anyone explicitly say is that alongside the fandom suffering in general, creators specifically see the effects of this. People have left the fandom over bible spoilers. People are no doubt avoiding fandom spaces or unfollowing people now to avoid even more spoilers. Personally, I've noticed a difference in ao3 engagement this season, both in the amount of content produced and the amount of people who seem to be reading fics. I can't speak for fanartists, but I'd imagine they might have seen similar trends with their numbers. And while some of that can probably be attributed to the normal fandom lifecycle, I'm certain that the bible leak played a role too. My point being, now is a time to reblog content you enjoy. Fanart, fic links, gifs, etc... Support your fandom creatives by reblogging, commenting, leaving likes and kudos. And please please please tag your posts accordingly and don't put spoilers in your rb tags--OP sees those.

[leafywillow]

Also omg!! I just reached 500 followers wow!! Thank you all so much for being here 😄🥰 def did not expect this with how inconsistent I am lol but I appreciate you all so much and love interacting with everyone!! You all have made my experience here so far so lovely and i couldn't ask for better mutuals and followers 🥰💕🥰

[justblaterando]

How any convo about aemond loosing an eye goes with the crazy people of this fandom

A “he was going to murder him, he deserves it”

B “no he didn’t”

A “he was being rude, he deserve it”

B “being rude doesn’t justify making someone disable”

A “he was going to murder him, he deserves it”

And the cycle continues

[valyrfia]

guys if i reblog a post to add an opinion/discussion and say 'don't go into this person's askbox we're just all having a friendly discussion' that's not in fact code to go into that person's askbox telling them how they're wrong

[yakultii]

imo the main issue with society chronically online is that people are losing the ability to think critically, or maybe we aren’t losing the ability to do so, but rather lack the desire to communicate more nuanced understandings of things in the digital space. this black-and-white mindset leads us to forget that multiple perspectives can coexist (for the same person) and we don’t always have to “take a side” to be viewed as confident/having strong character. life is pretty complex and I think it should be allowed to be, especially considering we personally are unlikely to know everything there is to know about it. For example, I can believe that life is probably complex but I can also believe that life is simple, we live and we die so just be nice! — two things at the same time! and I won’t fight you if you strongly believe in just one and I won’t doubt your entire being if you are unsure of where you stand but I think it’s cool all sides are able to be considered and we aren’t necessarily required to land on one thing (because we actually aren’t a search engine required to spit out definite answers at any moment - a search engine was just a tool created to simplify the complexities of human thought but it never required us to become it). I’m a big fan of the internet but we gotta remember we still have human capabilities !! we aren’t actually bots ourselves, at least not yet. I could be wrong but I highly doubt we were put on earth to become the embodiment of a comment section - in fact the comment section was probably intended to become an embodiment of us, we just got a little lost along the way :,) in saying all that the internet is beautiful, there’s so many lovely people! I love it! I just hope we don’t forget to communicate our cool human abilities in digital spaces too :)

[harbingerofsoup]

y’all pray for me, i accidentally ended up on the bummy side of tiktok and have been exposed to the horrors