#but I’m hoping once I set up my Etsy shop I’ll get some $$ so I can buy more supplies

[rosicheeks]

Can we see the painting you did? 😊

Not the one from tonight but here’s a few I did the other day 🥰

[smolvenger]

(Not) Alone On Christmas (Bucky x Trans! Masc! Reader Oneshot)

Summary: Buckys about to spend a holiday by himself. You run to him with a proposition: you need a fake boyfriend for Christmas Day. But don't worry, it's all gonna be fake hahaha...unless?...

Word Count: 4K

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of drinking and of children, Reader's family not using the right pronouns but Bucky corrects them. Fake Dating.

A/N: Hi there, @riley-writes!!! Tis I!!! Your secret Satna for @startrekkingaroundasgard's Holiday Fic Exchange! Just want to say, thanks to @riley-writes for helping me out bc I am not a trans person and for the HUGE help in getting the details right! Also thanks to @jamesbuckybarns for all the ideas about this fic, many of which made it to this final draft! I hope y'all like it! Here is a link to the song featured in the fic

COMMENTS, REBLOGS, AND ASKS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED!!!

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BUCKY’S POV

“No, you earned the chance to have Christmas in Paris!” Bucky insisted.

Sam laughed at the other end of the line.

“It’s been Sarah’s dream to see Paris since she was a kid and why shouldn’t the boys go too? They were hopping up and down when they got the news. So…are you sure you won’t mind me traveling?”

Bucky shook his head, the phone hot against his ear.

“You should go, Sam…when was the last time you had a genuine break? You’ve been saving all our asses for months!” he replied.

“Guess you’re right. The shield’s heavy in more ways than one…” Sam admitted.

Bucky began to pace around his apartment. He then glanced out at the window. It was freezing cold and grey, but no snow. And Christmas was in about a week!

“Go spend Christmas in Paris with your family Sam, you earned it.”

“And you’ll be okay? No more of that Hydra or Winter Soldier crap, alright? Nothing, I repeat, nothing that will make me fly back there?!? This is my vacation we’re talking about!” Sam asked.

“It will all be fine!”

“Please, I don’t want to babysit any more Super Soldiers!”

“But I’m your best one!”

“You have a point. And for once the wizards and aliens have stopped and…I wouldn’t mind having an actual French croissant…”

“Go spend Christmas in France and don’t feel the need to babysit us…” Bucky insisted.

“Thanks Buck.”

“Thanks Sam.”

“I’ll get you a souvenir…”

“Get me French Wine and we’ll call it a deal.”

“Alright, man. Deal- I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay, bye.”

He hung up the phone. He was glad Sam could go but it meant…the holidays alone. Truly, truly alone. Not that Bucky minded solitude or didn’t find worthwhile moments when he was by himself.

It just hit different on a holiday like Christmas.

He gave out a sigh. He should mention this to his therapist.

He remembered the old Christmases in Brooklyn. Steve’s mom would bake him a small version of his favorite pie. You could hear people’s Christmas records sometimes as you walked by apartments. He and Steve would pelt each other with snowballs. They’d walk around New York admiring beautiful decorations and hot chocolate was worth an extra penny to spend on for the warmth around your hands.

He looked down on his own…Well…both of his hands at the time.

As he slid down to the couch to turn on the tv, he heard a desperate knock at the door. Fear hit his stomach and he slowly walked, metal arm ready, to see who it was. He opened the door and poked his head through, just to check. Then his muscles relaxed and he swung it wide open.

It wasn’t an enemy. Not at all. It was Y/N.

But he was not looking chipper as usual, but desperate.

Reader’s POV

“You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend!?” Bucky cried, hands on his hips

“Yes! Please!” you begged, sitting on the couch.

 The Hallmark Christmas movie that was turned out was drowned away to the more interesting, real drama between you both. You even folded your arms and looked up at him, like a puppy.

“All because your relatives are trying to set you up with some other guy?” Bucky tried to recall.

“Yes! Bobby! He’s the actual worst! So damn annoying. I hear his voice and lose brain cells, and not in a good way. He won’t even say my pronouns. Refer to the dead ones. Like he’s in love with the dead me and not the me me!  And he’s going to be there all day at Christmas at my family’s house! I just know he’s going to ask me out in front of everyone!  Please, Bucky- I’ll pay you if you need!” you said, reaching in your pocket to get your wallet.

“No, it’s just…it’ll feel a bit weird…”

“Not as weird as shoving this guy who’s going to be there and force me to date him?!? No sir- I’d rather it be you there! Besides, if you were there-Bobby would stay away. He’ll respect you. He and everyone else will think I am taken! It’s just for Christmas, I swear!” you insisted, shaking your head.

You saw him smile. You didn’t want to admit it, but Bucky had the most handsome smile you had ever seen. You clasped your hands together on your lap and bounced your leg as he paced, awaiting his response.

“Alright. I’ll do it. Sam’s gone- might as well spend the holiday with you.”

You let out a sigh of relief and a hundred thank you Bucky and you’re the best friend ever, Bucky.

In a flurry of baking and shopping and movie re-watching and carol blasting, Christmas Day and the big Family gathering arrived.

BUCKY'S POV

He initially didn’t know if he wanted to accept.

But which was better: another holiday watching the newer movies and ones he had seen tons of times before and hearing the same songs about togetherness while alone…or having company? And above all, in Y/N’s presence…

Bucky was a lonely man. That was, until he met you. But you had a whole family, and he did not. Maybe he could turn away but seeing as how you were about to wrap your knuckles on the door on a bitter cold Christmas afternoon, it was too late.

Here he was, awkwardly standing at the door holding macaroni and cheese- the warmth still radiating to where he felt it in one hand and under his chin. How would they react? As you were hugging your cousins and parents and aunts and uncles, he was still eyeing everything carefully as if it was a battlefield of it’s own.

As he gingerly stepped in, he found himself ducking and looking around, maybe to make himself smaller, less of a target. Eyes immediately turned to him.

“Guys, this is my boyfriend- James Barnes! But you can call him Bucky!” you introduced with a grand sweep of your arms and a cheesy, circus-performer sized smile.

“Oh, Y/N! You finally have a boyfriend! Wonderful!” your mom cheered.

Bucky nodded his head with a shy smile as “hellos” were exchanged. Once he put the macaroni on the kitchen counter- already the building was warm from all the cooking- and shook every hand he could, he went to the corner coat rack.

He took off his coat and then carefully put his gloves in his pocket. Once his gloves were off, the little children of the family looked at the undeniably metal arm. They gathered in wide eyed curiosity at it.

“What’s that? Why is it metal?” one little boy asked.

You had just gotten a drink to await the lunch and were sipping at it while watching.

“I, uh, had an accident and I lost it. So, I got it replaced,” he answered.

It was technically the truth after all. They didn’t need to know the details about Hydra.

“Can I touch it?” one little girl asked, her brown eyes getting bigger.

“Sure…”

She poked it, feeling how cold and solid it felt to her fingers.

“Wooooaaahhhh!”

“Can I touch it? Can I??” they all asked like meercats sticking their noses up in the air.

They followed him as he went to the kitchen to get his plate of appetizers and then plopped onto the couch. Out of the corner of his eyes were more of the younger kids. Their parents brought them their activity books, knowing that there would be a lot of “grown up” talking when it wasn’t present time. One bold little girl crawled up to him.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

“You can call me Bucky…” he said gently.

Her eye went to the inevitable- his arm.

“Bucky- your arm is so cool!? Can I put stickers on it!” she asked.

You nearly snorted out your drink, putting a hand to your mouth to keep from laughing. She ran over, picked up her activity books, and returned.

“Uh…yeah, sure.” He replied.

Other kids ran up with their activity books and sticker pages insisting the same. Before long, his whole arm was surrounded by strawberries, cats, big eyed Disney cartoons, dinosaurs, and glittery planets (one of the kids was going through a space phase). One boy laughed a little, but they all admired him.

The first little girl said, “it makes your arm even prettier!”

Pretty? Huh…he never thought of it that way…

“Thank you- what do you think, Y/N?” Bucky asked, turning to you.

You smiled at it.

“It does make your arm look pretty, Bucky!” you confirmed with a nod of your head.

READER’s POV

Oh gah, there was something different about the way he was looking at you- what were you to do? Why did it make you feel those things? No- nonononono. You had to focus. You had to survive this day. Your stomach was grumbling and the cheese and crackers you stuffed in your mouth were digested already. How long until the meal and presents so you could make the quickest exit out?

The doorbell rang and you felt your cup shake in your hands.

“Come in, Bobby!” your mom greeted cheerfully.

Dang it, why can’t it just be family and not his stupid face? You cursed silently.

There was a sudden swing of the door and Bobby was there, the guy your parents wanted you to be with. Ugh, Bobby may be an engineer with money and an apparent obsession with a version of you, but he looked and acted the exact opposite of your type. And the fact your parents wouldn’t stop singing his praises even though Bobby quietly engaged your fight or flight response immediately.

“Hey there! What’s up! Merry…” Bobby’s stupid, obnoxious voice was cut off at the sight of a certain handsome, well-built man with short dark hair and a metal arm.

“And who exactly are you?” Bobby asked with fake politeness.

You stood up, downing the rest of your drink, and smiling wickedly.

“Oh, you haven’t met my boyfriend yet!” you exclaimed, putting an emphasis on the last word.

Bobby’s lips tightened. You walked forward to Bucky.

“Here is the best boyfriend in the world- Bucky Barnes!”

You threw your arms around him and gave him a peck on the cheek and Bucky smiled. Just enough for Bobby to nod in frustrated respect and defeated acknowledgement.

“I brought green bean casserole…” he said, lifting the red dish with tinfoil over the cover.

“Oh, good! Take it to the kitchen!” Bucky insisted, gesturing there.

Bobby stomped away. He only stayed twenty minutes to drink a soda, drop off two lumpy Christmas presents, and chat around. He then said he had a bad stomachache and left.  Bucky looked at you and you gave him a small wink. From behind, you gave him a small high five.

BUCKY’S POV

Since that asshole had left, you were practically glowing. You were smiling- huh, what a smile. Bucky thought. It made his stomach flutter when you smiled. And you were laughing too among your cousins. Not that fake laugh to flatter someone’s bland joke. No, this was real, happy, belly laughter. Your laughter, your voice. It had been in his head. Bucky spent Christmas Eve secretly counting down the hours until this. Yes, it was a test and charade. But it meant…he could spend more time with you.

What was this? Obsession? Lonleiness? Or maybe…maybe it was…

“Hey Bucky!” your dad called out.

Then your dad approached Bucky as he shook away the thoughts from his head, back to Planet Earth. The dad placed a hand on his shoulder and began to speak.

“You know…when the time comes for Y/N’s birthday or if you stick around for next Christmas…could you help me find a right Christmas gift for her?”

“Him” Bucky corrected.

He sighed and shook his head but then took in another inhale.

“I mean, a gift for him.”

Bucky shrugged. “Of course!”

Suddenly, there was aloud, shrill beep from the kitchen timer. He heard your mothers voice ring out just like the Church bells would in Brooklyn on that snowy, holiday morning.

“Dinner’s ready! Wash your hands and get plates, everyone!”

READER’S POV

There was a lack of ham on your plate. Ham was your favorite thing to eat on Christmas and apparently it was everyone else’s. When you finally reached it, there wasn’t that many left. But your parents knew there would be a multitude and so a second ham was placed in the oven to bake. After eating your pitiful slice and enjoying some side dishes, you could get some more.

“Is there anything I could do for you?” your aunt Lydia asked.

She was standing up and eyeing everyone else’s plates.

“Oh yeah- I got my fill of Mac and Cheese, but I’d like some of the ham, please,” you asked.

There was the sound of the mixer like a power drill and then it paused.

“What?” You heard your mom from the kitchen. Her apron was splattered with the cookie batter she was mixing.

Aunt Lydia went over to the corner, the threshold of dining room and kitchen, cupping her mouth.

“Hey! Y/N just said she wants some ham!!”

Your lips went tight, and you placed both hands on your green plastic cup, face lowering down. Your shoulders bunched up to your ears. You wished you were a tortoise and had a shell to vanish inside.

Bucky stood up and walked to the aunt, hands in his pocket.

You perked your head out of your cup. Bucky gave a quiet, angry look. Maybe the Winter Soldier was never truly gone after all, you thought.

“He wants some ham,” he corrected her.

“HE wants some ham,” your aunt repeated with a little sigh.

“Thank you, there you go!” Bucky said, even giving a little bow.

He walked over to you.

“Thank you, you see, it’s so awkward and I hate it…” you whispered.

“Anytime.”

“She always makes me feel like less of a man…” you confessed into his ear.

He took your hand with his own flesh one and squeezed it.

“Listen, you are a man. No one can take that, okay? I don’t see some faker in front of me- I see a real, genuine man. So why can’t you see that in yourself too?” he whispered.

“Okay…” you whispered back.

When you realized eyes were on you both again, but blinking in ignorance of what was said, you gave Bucky another peck on the cheek and returned to your seats.

You finally got your ham helping. All was going smoothly even when it was time for dessert.

“Dear, would you like some cheesecake?” Bucky asked loud enough for any relative to hear.

“Sure thing, love!” you answered with a practiced smile.

Once he gathered a plate with cheesecake on it, as well as a plate for you, everyone’s head at the table was turned towards the two of you. The other twenty side conversations were dropped.

“Oh, so you’re the Prince Charming, eh?” an uncle asked.

In the back, one could hear your mom turning on the Christmas Playlist but adjusting the volume so it wouldn’t overpower any conversations.

“Yes, I am!” he said plainly.

“How did you two meet?” your father asked.

“Uh…it was…” Bucky began, he squinted his eyes and scratched the back of his head.

“We met at a bar. Bucky’s good friend is Captain America right now and there was a segment on him on the tv. So, I bought him a drink and asked him more and then next thing I knew, we were dating!” you piped in quickly.

That was all true. It was nerve wracking how Bucky would take your new gender and new identity. Especially concerning the truth of what time period he actually came from. But you had struck gold. He managed to let you talk and explain it, and always referred to you as who you were.

Maybe he would really be like that if we were really dat-

The thought made you pause before you could swallow your bite.

No, no, noononononono! You thought. Get that thought out of your head now Y/N! You got to focus! You got to make it through to the end!

“So you really know Captain America!?” an aunt asked excitedly.

“Both of them. Don’t want to talk about the middle one. Long story short, John Walker wasn’t a good guy.” Bucky explained.

“But that’s so cool! Both Steve Rogers and now Sam! What are they like?” a cousin asked.

You scooped up some of the caramel drizzle on your plate with the edge of your fork.

“They’re both the bravest men I know,” Bucky answered.

“And how did you meet Steve?”

He froze a little, his forkful of cheesecake still down on his plate, yet to be eaten. Bucky’s face became paler, and his jaw hung in mid-air.

“Uh-“

“Brooklyn, wasn’t it?! You were in Brooklyn when you met him!” you said quickly.

Again, not a lie. Just certain details had to be censored.

“Yes, I was in Brooklyn when I met Steve!” Bucky agreed, playing along.

“You’re so lucky, always wanted to see New York City! Just must pick the right time when it isn’t being attacked by something…” another cousin sighed.

Then the Playlist switched to some instrumental. It began dreamily with some bells playing a twinkly tune. And then a jazzy melody was picked up by some horns and a female singer. Bucky perked up.

“Hey! That’s ‘Santa, Bring My Mommy Back To Me!’” he commented excitedly.

“Really, you know that one?” your mom asked.

“Yeah, I remember I heard it when it first came-“

Your eyes went big, and you whipped your head, dipping into a fake cough to interrupt it. Then you turned to him with a stiff, forced smile as a warning. Bucky stopped himself from blowing his cover.

“You heard the record, right?” you corrected.

“Uh yeah, my mom bought a record and would play it at Christmas,” he confirmed.

If there was a dime for every half-lie you told at desert, you were on your way to becoming rich.

“My Bucky here loves all the oldies. Just like his parents did. It’s so relaxing to listen to!” you boasted, patting his back.

“Well, I like some oldies too! They bring such a nice, classy feeling to every event!” your mom agreed.

You let out a steady exhale through your nose. Bucky bit into his cheesecake.

BUCKY’S POV:

“Can we pleeeeease open our presents now!!!!” one kid begged, hopping up and down in his chair.

“Oh, alright! C’mon everyone- let’s open some presents!” your dad invited, throwing his arms up.

The kids cheered and ran over there. Adults cleared their plates and followed them right after. There was much violent delight in kids squealing and ripping open papers. Even that innocent greed flashed in the eyes of all the adults. Present by present under the tree was passed around and opened. Some to enthusiasm, some with just a polite smile. You and Bucky sat on the couch, holding hands when you weren’t opening a gift.

Your parents then reached and got a red and white box with a bow under the tree.

“Here Bucky…we don’t know you well yet, so it was hard to pick a gift but…we hope you like it!” your dad wished.

Bucky blinked and then opened the gift. How long had it been since he had an actual gift given to him? As he opened the little green bag and looked inside, he saw it was a bunch of new socks his size, a wad of cash, and a little bag full of homemade cookies.

“We know it’s not much, but-“

He waved his hand, shaking his head.

“No, it’s not! It’s perfect! Thank you!”

Your parents both smiled warmly at him.

It struck him. This was just as comfortable as he could be with Sam and his family. He felt safe. Very safe. Too safe in fact.

Once you let go to hand out your gifts to your family, you realized Bucky felt incredibly warm he felt, head to toe. You were a foot away, but he already missed you.

READER’S POV:

Goodbyes were said, empty dishes and presents collected and stuffed into the car, and as you turned the key, you drove back to your place. Once you both walked inside and set all the stuff down, you let out a big sigh and laugh.

“Holy shit, that was something! But I could use some hot chocolate after that- want some, Bucky?” you offered.

“Of course,” he replied.

 You poured milk into a stove and turned it on to medium.

“They’re nice, but your Aunt Lydia is…something else” he commented.

“You can say she’s a bitch, Buck.” You confessed.

“Alright- she’s a bitch!” he said with a shrug.

That did make you laugh. Despite his sad past, so much about him made you…just smile and laugh. Naturally.

You returned with two steaming mugs and turned on a Holiday movie you liked and could watch while it was still the season (only six more hours to go!).

“Well, thought I would need this earlier- let’s not waste it,” Bucky said,

He reached into the pocket of his pants and got out a mini size bottle of vodka, dumping it into his mug. Apparently, you could take the Super Soldier from Russia, but you couldn’t take Russia from the Super Soldier.

Both of you clinked your mugs and took the first drink.

“Wait a minute…Bucky! Your arm!” you pointed and let out a laugh.

As Bucky looked down, he realized that he had forgotten that the stickers were still on there. As the movie played on and your laughter cooled down, you peeled it off of him, one by one, and tossed them aside.

“By the way…Y/N, are you doing anything on New Year’s?” he asked.

“Eve or day?” you asked.

“Doesn’t matter,” he replied.

You put a hand around the handle and another on the mug to feel the warmth.

“New Year’s Eve, my family usually throws a party…” you answered.

“Then let’s go! We can fake this again- it’s not too bad! It’s kind of fun, this danger of being caught. We’ll survive it!” he suggested.

You shook your head.

“No, no not really!”

“Why?” Bucky asked.

“It’s not that you’re a good fake date- it’s that…I…I’m busy…” you told him.

He took a larger drink of it. His face was turning a bit pink from the warmth. The movie blared on as a familiar carol was being played in its score.

“Oh…what do you have?” he asked.

You set your mug down and rubbed your hands together slowly.

“It’s…it’s uh…I’ve been planning this for months and I finally got the money to…I’m getting top surgery New Year’s Day,” you confessed.

“WHAT? Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“I wasn’t sure it goes through! And a million things can go wrong in the surgery and I didn’t want to make anyone too unrealistically hopeful- least of all myself! And I have a right not to tell you every last bit about my life!” you protested.

It’s not like we’re dating or anything…yet why did that thought make you sad?

“So yeah- super occupied! And I gotta get ready for life after, it’s gonna be tough…

“Oh, I just thought…

‘Thought what?”

“Thought you’d need a fake date again,”

You shook your head.

“No, not really…not any other upcoming things I can think of. But I’ll let you know..”

“Alright by me” he said, taking a bug gulp of his spiked hot chocolate.

Something was boiling, bursting inside him. He set the hot chocolate down.

“I need to go outside…”

“You can, Buck,” you replied.

Buck, Buck- Buck. Buck! His name getting shorter, smaller...cuter. As if James was too much and now Bucky was too much. Making it smaller, smaller-smaller to where he could only be held and embraced not as a lion but as a kitten. It was too much for him to bear. He stormed outside.

You sat there. Your stomach churning. He wasn’t a smoker. And your apartment didn’t feel stuffy at all. No, something was up- you put on your coat and followed him out.

Right as you opened the door, you noticed that it was dark now. Outside, there was a steadfast snow. No gusts were blasting it into your face, it was gentle. A lot, but gentle. You saw that Bucky had walked outside enough to where you could see his footsteps and saw the top of his head was covered in snowflakes.

“Bucky…Bucky, please!” you called out.

He turned to you, his face was red but his eyes were soft.

“What…what is it…”

You wanted to hear him say it.

“I…I feel…”

“What do you feel?”

“Mad!”

“Why mad, what have I done?”

“Nothing! No! I guess-just…I’m frustrated, that’s all.”

“Why…what’s making your frustrated?”

You felt as if the floor would give out from beneath you. He walked closer to you, blinking a little. He brushed the snowflakes from your hair.

No, it couldn’t be…were you being too hopeful…

“Do you know what about your surgery makes me frustrated? The fact that you hid it from me? IT’s not that you hid it at all…it’s just it means so much to you. That I’m not…not special enough that…you can’t even trust me with it…”

He paused, swallowing.

“I don’t want to sit on the sides as you go  through this- I want to be there with you!”

Your breath was knocked out of you. You felt the snow fall on your head, the arms of your coat, your eyelashes, like small, gentle kisses from the sky. Yet you didn’t dare let your eyes leave his.

“Why? Is it because…because…” your voice trailed off, getting quieter and quieter.

“It’s because…I want to be a part of your life, Y/N. I want to be there for you, for all the moments…that’s why…that’s why I asked about your family…that’s why I agreed to pretend to be with you, why I wanted to do it again…”

“Because you really do want to be my boyfriend?” you asked.

He was still, his eyes still blinking.

“I…uh…uhm…yes. Yes, I do.”

You opened your hand, offering it. With both- flesh and metal- he took yours.

“Then…let’s be boyfriends. For real.”

“Okay…”

“But one thing you gotta do- my arms are gonna hurt like a bitch after this top surgery. You’ll have to take me to the hospital and help me out once I get out. It’s four weeks of recovery and it’s intense. Do you promise?”

“Absolutely, babe.”

“I like hearing you call me that.”

“I like saying it.”

You leaned in to kiss each other right as another draft of snow fell on your heads.

[toru-oikawas-milkbread]

Wanting a personalized story? I’m selling!

Please read this before moving to my Etsy shop to purchase a story set! Very important information!

As I mentioned earlier on my blog, I’m thinking about selling singular stories. If you enjoy my writing then I hope you know it will be absolutely worth the price. Some of my personal stories can be a bit bleh, but when I write for other people I do my absolute best for them and often check back to make sure they’re liking the idea I’m pursuing and way that I’m interpreting their request.

If you are wanting a personalized story, I’m going to have several different story options for sale. Yes, the longest story option is expensive, however it is a lot of words and time that will go into it. For the longest story, only 1 will be in stock of both options at a time.

Time that it takes me to get the story to you will completely depend on the story that you are wanting, so patience is greatly appreciated and I absolutely know that everybody here is going to be patient with me while I work on it. I will only be selling a few of each packet at once to make sure that I don’t get too overwhelmed with requests, but if you don’t make it to the first few and you want one, I promise I’ll write as fast as I can both for the requestee and the people wanting stories!

So, I figured I’d need a small set of rules. As you know, I’m not very strict and I’ll write mostly anything. If you request something and I don’t feel comfortable with the idea, I’ll let you know and if you’d like to choose a different story or have a refund, let me know and I’ll do everything I can to make sure that you’re happy with what you get! However I don’t think I’ll be too disturbed, not much gets to me and I’ve never gotten a bad request.

Very important steps included below:

After purchasing your pack of choice, I will be alerted and I would like it if you would send me a note when you buy your packet with your Tumblr handle so I know that it’s you when you message me with your story idea. Then, move to Tumblr and in the messages send me what you’re hoping for/wanting from a story. I know that I usually allow anonymous asks, however this won’t be an option this time since I need specifics and a direct way of contacting you on Tumblr if needed. You may message me on Etsy, however if you’re comfortable talking strictly on Tumblr either way works for me! However sending me a direct message either way will be the easiest way to communicate what you’re wanting with me.

All of the stories that are purchased and requested will be posted to my Tumblr for you and everybody else to enjoy. They will never be deleted or edited. If you are wanting a private story, include that in your message and I can do one of two things:

1: I can write your story and email it to you

2: I can write your story, print it out, and send you a physical copy of your story

3 actually: I could do both the paper and the email story! Completely up to you!

[woodsorrelpainting]

Intro Post

Hello! I’m Marten (not my irl name) and I am a queer painter wanting to step into the world of selling prints of my work online. I’m based out of Texas, USA and I’m stepping WAY out of my comfort zone doing all of this. I’m in my early 20s, so still young. And I have much to learn!

I’m very new to posting online! And I have social anxiety! So if I’m being “weird” online then maybe mind your business!!

This blog will primarily be me posting some of the studies I’ve been doing lately, some art-related thoughts and questions, and some shop/social media updates from time to time. (though, at the time of me writing this out, my shop isn't open and won't be for a while)

My work will at first be very plant-focused. I just came out of a year-long “art-block” where I drew basically nothing and this time I’m focusing only on plants, which I’ve shied away from for years. Not to say nothing will change in the years to come… And since I was directly inspired by the “weeds” I see (and have seen) around me, my work will reflect that.

Feel free to leave comments or tags if anything seems like it’d be a nice sticker or print! I’ll see what I can do from there :)

I am wanting to make prints and stickers from my own original works, preferably from reference images that I take.

Once I get everything I need set in place, I’ll link my Etsy shop here, as well as a few other links like to my YouTube account (still setting that up!) and maybe perhaps even my own Web Site (if/when I get enough moneys to do that).

Here are a couple of links that I have available as of originally writing this post:

Pinterest board (link) - if you’d like to check out what images I’ve been using as reference for my studies. I know that Pinterest is kind of a pit when it comes to proper credit, but I feel that this is the best I can offer. Some of the pins are Etsy shop links to fruit and vegetable seeds, so if you’re a gardener then maybe check them out!

ko-fi (link) - if you’d like to send a dollar or something for whatever reason, you can stop by here! I will post occasionally, though I’m still getting used to the website itself

And for those of you who are nosy… I decided to take this huge leap towards money-making because I need money. I’ve never had an actual income and lately some health problems have made my future more uncertain than ever. Painting/drawing is the only skill that I have and that I’ve spent time developing, so… why not? It’s not like I have enough money for it to be a huge waste of money in the long-run if it fails. And thus here I am.

All of this has been a huge journey for me. Between my very limited budget and my debilitating anxiety, this has been a lot. I never would have dreamed of trying this even three months ago. But I do hope y’all will welcome me and be nice.

[nev3rfound]

glass : b.b

after a messy breakup with your boyfriend, you can’t help but be a tad bit reckless during a mission leaving bucky to help pick up the pieces and learn why you’re acting the way you are. (2.5k) 

warnings: mentions of blood, violence, wounds, breakups 

masterlist / permanent taglist / etsy shop - requests open!

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website without being credited, it has not been approved to be shared by me. all rights reserved.)

also hi, we’re almost at 5k which is amazing and i’m planning a little giveaway! sorry if i’ve been quiet this week, i have been hooked with the ‘shatter me’ series and i can’t get enough lmao. but i do have more pieces in the works :)

Sitting in the Quinjet, you could barely register what Tony was saying as the words that were practically spat at you last night circulated your thoughts.

“Y/n?” You flinch at the call of your name, breaking you from the trance-like state you were in.

Steve smiles warmly as he takes the seat beside you as prying eyes watch closely, noting the change in your mood the moment you boarded the jet.

“Sorry,” You mutter to Steve. “late night.”

Nodding in response, Steve glances over to a concerned Bucky whose brows remain knitted together. Usually, you would sit with Bucky, joke around with him and Sam about all sorts. Yet today, you boarded the jet and sat alone, closing your eyes and blocked everyone out.

“Tell me ‘bout it.” Steve playfully huffs, trying to incite some form of reaction, but you remain silent. “Listen, if you wanna talk,”

“Thanks, Steve.” You cut him off, forcing your lips upward. “I’ll let you know if anything comes up.”

With that being his cue to leave you be, Steve shakes his head to Bucky as he wanders back toward Tony, organising the final details of the plan before you land.

“Okay team, descending now, arriving in less than ten.” Tony announces, ensuring he has everyone's attention- including yours. “So, Cap, you and Romanoff will head straight for the side entrance whilst Wilson and Barnes take the back. I want Y/L/N and Barton to head for the hostages.” Tony explains, watching as you all nod along.

“And what will you be doing, Tony?” Steve asks as he picks his shield up.

“I will be with Wanda,” Tony states as Wanda playfully salutes. “on standby in case something goes wrong.”

“Not that it will.” Wanda comments but quirks a brow to Sam who holds his hands up in defence.

“That was a one-time thing, witchy.” Sam retorts, causing Tony to roll his eyes once again at the team's antics.

“Anyway, get ready.” Tony finishes before retreating toward the pilot whilst everyone gathers their weapons.

Whilst grabbing your gun and placing it into your holster, you notice the small bruise forming on your wrist as your sleeve rises slightly. You quickly tug on it, thinking nothing of it as you reach for the set of knives you usually carry.

Yet Bucky noticed, it was impossible for Bucky to not notice the smallest of details about you. His heart ached at the sight. You’re known for being clumsy and would often laugh about the matter. If you got a bruise, you’d joke about it, explain how this one happened in another idiotic motion as opposed to hiding it.

“You ready for this one, Y/n?” Clint speaks up as he appears by your side, counting his arrows as you tighten your grip on your favourite knife, causing your knuckles to lighten in colour.

“As I’ll ever be.” You remark as the Quinjet door opens and you all walk out, splitting up into different directions.

*

It wasn’t supposed to happen, you weren’t prepared enough as a team for what you encountered inside the building.

You reached the hostages and quickly untied them. They thanked you senselessly whilst Clint remained on guard, keeping a close eye on the door as you helped them to their feet.

“Who are you?” One man speaks up, his voice hoarse as he grips your arms for dear life.

“We’re the Avengers.” You softly tell the man, watching as the fear in his expression lightens, and he starts to laugh maniacally in your face.

Trying to prise yourself from his grasp, his nails dig into your skin. “You made a mistake coming here.” He states, breaking his gaze from you momentarily, giving you a chance to slam your foot into his.

With the man's grip easing, you snap yourself from his embrace and hit him with the butt of your gun. He falls to the ground, and you raise your gun to everyone else in the room.

“Who else is a plant?” You ask, looking at all of the terrified faces staring back at you. “Who else?!” You repeat yourself, adrenaline rushing through you before you fire your gun into the ceiling as they all jump.

Clint whips his head around, evidently shocked having never seen you react this way before. “Y/n,” He speaks up, but you ignore him, keeping your attention fixated on the ‘hostages’ before you.

“No one, Ma’am.” A little girl announces as she releases her mother's hand, stepping toward you. She looks up at you with her bright brown eyes and holds her hand out. “Are you here to save us?” She questions.

Kneeling down in front of the girl, you smile softly, your cool exterior melting. “Yes, and you’re all going to be okay, I promise.” You tell her, breaking your gaze as you look around at everyone else.

“Y/n, now.” Clint states as you rise to your feet, holding your hand out to the little girl who gladly accepts.

“Okay, follow me, you’ll all be safe if you stay close.” You explain to the dozen hostages who huddle together, following behind you and Clint.

“Tony? We have them, there was a plant, tell the others.” Clint speaks through the comms as he walks ahead, his bow at the ready in case anyone else lingers in the corridors.

Glancing over your shoulder, you check to ensure the hostages are still with you. Whilst your head is turned, you hear Clint groan and fall to the ground with a thud.

“Clint?” You rush forward whilst the hostages remain still. Holding your gun up, you turn the corner, catching sight of a man stood with his gun aimed at Clint’s unconscious body. “Corridor seven, ground floor.” You speak up, hoping someone hears you through the comms.

The man before you smirks as his gun is now aimed at you whilst you mirror his actions, not daring to let your hands shake as his words ring through your ears.

“You really think that’s a wise move?” He asks, removing the safety from his gun.

“I’m not one to go down without a fight.” You state, hearing a collection of footsteps echo behind the man as a glint of metal flashes across your eyes.

The man's focus shifts to behind you, but his gun remains trained to you. “Ah, I see we have a friend.” He chuckles and you can feel your heart rate increasing as the little girl stands by your side.

“She has us.” The girl states, standing tall as the hostages emerge and gather behind you.

Sighing under his breath, the man clicks his tongue. “Well, this is sweet and all, but you’re not making it out of here alive.” He scoffs, lowering his gun to the little girl.

Everything plays too quickly for Bucky’s liking as he runs toward the man, his arms outstretched and fists clenched.

Upon watching the man pull back the trigger, you force the little girl back, feeling the impact of the bullet hit your stomach. Another shot rings through your ears, but you’re already down on the ground, curled up.

Bucky steps over the man's body, not caring to step in the blood that pools around his head as he rushes toward you.

“Hey, doll, stay awake for me, okay?” Bucky pleads, brushing your hair out of your face as he glances down, noticing your fingers are coated in crimson. “Sam, get Tony, now!” He yells, picking you up in his arms as both Steve and Natasha appear, taking in the sight before them.

Bucky looks over to Steve, and he doesn’t need to say anything. “Go, we’ll handle it.” Steve nods to Bucky as you hang in his arms, eyes barely open.

Rushing past the hostages who stare with wide eyes, Bucky keeps his on you. “Come on, Y/n,” Bucky mutters as the cool breeze hits his face, feeling you move in his arms and bury your face into his chest.

“I’m cold,” You mumble tiredly, barely able to keep your eyes open as they droop heavily. “just five minutes.”

“No, don’t you dare,” Bucky firmly tells you as the Quinjet comes into view, the sight of worry evident in Wanda’s expression as she meets Bucky halfway, guiding him into the jet.

“What happened?” Wanda asks as Bucky places you down on the ground, reaching for the medical supplies on board with urgency, ripping out various weapons and mechanical items until he finds some form of bandages.

“She tried to save a little girl,” Bucky sighs as Wanda cradles your head, her fingers hovering over your temples as a red glow forms whilst Bucky applies pressure to the wounds, watching as they soak instantly from your blood. “we, we have to go, now!” He yells to Wanda who barely flinches.

“Tony? Can you handle this?” Wanda questions through the comms.

“Just get Y/n back, we’ll sort this out.” Tony responds, trying to hide the fear in his tone for the younger Avenger, one he can’t help but view as a daughter in many respects.

“She wants to be strong,” Wanda whispers, hearing your thoughts as you drift further and further away from consciousness. “but she’s scared. I, I can hear his voice.” Wanda trails off as Bucky tenses up, knowing exactly who she means.

Bucky can feel his heartbreaking as the Quinjet flies through the air at an accelerated rate back to the compound.

“Oh Y/n, you’ve got so much coming for you,” Bucky takes one of your hands in his, gripping it tightly as he focuses on your face, the light disappearing from your complexion. “don’t go, not now, doll.”

*

Lying in your own bed, you remain in a deep sleep whilst Bucky hovers by your bedside. Ever since you were brought back and cleared, he insisted you’d feel more comfortable in your own room.

“Anything?” Wanda speaks up, peering in your doorway as your chest rises and falls rhythmically. Bucky shakes his head in response, aware of Wanda approaching your bed as she perches on the edge, her fingertips dancing over your head.

Wanda quickly pulls her hand away, the red wisps disappearing as she avoids Bucky’s cold gaze. “What is it?”

“I’m not sure,” Wanda mutters, moving your hair out of your face. “but something happened before the mission, something to do with him.” Wanda sighs. “I just, I can’t tell what it was.” She explains as Bucky keeps a straight face, unable to take his eyes off the various bruises now exposed on your skin, the cuts and scars forming alongside them.

“She’s always been agile on missions, even if she’s clumsy.” Bucky breathes out, uncrossing his arms from his chest. “But she’s careful, she’s always careful.” He repeats to himself, wondering why you’d risk yourself like that when it could’ve been avoided.

“I had to,” You mumble, your eyes now beginning to open as you look up to your two friends, forcing your lips upwards. “did I miss much?”

A chuckle escapes Wanda as she looks over to Bucky, seeing the concern in his face refusing to ease. “I’m sure Bucky will fill you in.” Wanda tells you as she touches your hand before heading to the door. “It’s good to see you awake, Y/n/n.” She smiles at you whilst Bucky slowly moves closer to your bed, his legs leaning against the frame.

“So,” You sigh, still feeling your muscles burning beneath the covers on top of you. “is everyone safe?”

Trying to hold back the scoff building, Bucky simply nods.

“Good,” You nod to yourself, a sense of relief crossing your system. “I’m glad it worked out.”

“Worked out?” Bucky snaps, noting your eyes widening as you struggle to sit upright without wincing. “No, don’t try and move,” His voice softens momentarily, forcing you to remain still. “Y/n, you think almost dying is a mission ‘working out', really?” He huffs loudly.

“Look, the hostages are safe, the team holding them was taken care of so yes, Bucky, I do think it worked out.” You bark back, your tone rising.

“God, you’re an idiot sometimes.” Bucky remarks, turning away from you as you look down at your lap.

“Max said that too,” You mumble.

Turning on his heels, Bucky focuses on you closely. “He said what?”

It was no secret Bucky wasn’t the fondest of your now ex-boyfriend, Max. He tolerated him for your sake, not wanting to lose your best friend in the midst of a relationship. But Max was never the most understanding, and this is just another reason Bucky mentally adds to his list of why Max was a lousy boyfriend.

“Forget it,” You brush it off, refusing to meet Bucky’s cold blue eyes. “it was nothing, I went to get the last of my things the other night and, and we had an argument.”

“What did he say to you, Y/n?” Bucky persists as he now sits down on your bed, his hands remaining in his own lap as you play with yours, fidgeting.

“He said I’m too fragile for my own good,” You admit, hearing his bitter words ringing through your head. “that I’m weak, and I shouldn’t even be an Avenger.”

Bucky can feel his blood boiling, the list in his mind becoming mere shreds of paper as he imagines what he’ll do to Max if he sees him again.

“And maybe I am, he said I’m broken goods,” You add, lifting the sheets from your body to reveal the stitching in your skin where the bullet was. “what difference does one more scar make?”

“You don’t believe him, do you doll?” Bucky asks sadly, afraid he already knows the answer.

Your prolonged silence only causes Bucky’s heart to sink further into his chest.

“Y/n,” Bucky speaks up, taking your hand in his. “you’re not broken goods, you’re not made of glass that shatters easily.” He explains, unable to meet your teary gaze. “You’re one of the strongest, most selfless people I’ve ever met, you’re not fragile, doll.” He rubs his thumb over the top of your hand, avoiding the fresh scuffs lacing your knuckles.

“You think so?” You whisper as tears fall down your cheeks before you can stop them.

Now catching your eyes, Bucky smiles softly. “I do, Y/n.” He admits, watching you struggle to shuffle in your bed as you force back a whimper.

Patting the spot beside you, Bucky raises a brow. “Will you stay, Bucky, please?” You whisper, too afraid of your own voice.

“As long as you know you’re worth so much more than him, Y/n, okay?” Bucky asks as he lifts his arm up, wrapping it around you as you curl up into his chest. “You deserve the world, doll.” He mutters, feeling your grip around his waist loosen as your breathing softens. “And I promise to show you someday.”

Bucky brushes his lips across your forehead as light snores leave your lips, unaware of the promise Bucky has made to you and intends to keep it.  

t a g l i s t (thank you for the support!) link in my bio and at the top of this piece to add yourself☺️(if your user isn’t tagged, it’s because nothing comes up sorry!)

@biss-stuff @psychicforest  @lourightm @mywinterwolf   @justsomedreaming @stanlux17 @smokeandnailz @supermoonchildbroski @xrosegoldwolfx @courtneychicken @marvelsangels @supraveng @tommy-lee-81 @smilexcaptainx @fandom-princess-forevermore @sarge-barnes-sir @pleasantlysecretdream @decaffeinated–fangirl @howdyherron @kirby-boo @florencxs @eldahae @handmesomecoffee @hi-my-name-is-riley @dev1lbella @thanossexual @alissaginger @sambucky8 @notbrooklynsblog @nikkixostan @cosmiccaptian @adoreyou976 @sarcasticallywitty15 @multi-fandom-princess07 @16boyfriends-and-me @courtneychicken @mackevanstan80 @torchwoodoctor @pleasantlysecretdream  @yougottalovefandoms @magicalxdaydream @soccer-100000 @tenaciousperfectionunkown @talksoprettyjjx @btsonthedaily @jessyballet @katiaw2 @buckyswildflower  @lucrea @weenersoldierr @katiaw2 @lucrea @amelia-song-pond @bluelakeee @dottirose @emilytheukuleleplayer 

[jlalafics]

"The Long Weekend"-Part One

Happy belated birthday @keelaree!

Hope you enjoy this first part. Thank you for being such a wonderful part of my writing life, and an even better friend. Can't wait till we can reunite in SF, so we can tea time together and eat soup dumplings.

Love you!

Summary: Two assistants who barely tolerate each other. One snowy cabin. One very long weekend.

Oh, and one bed.

-----

“I’m making the turn now, Haymitch,” Peeta told his boss as he navigated the icy road. “Should have everything prepped and ready by the time you and Effie arrive.”

“Thanks,” Haymitch replied over the speakerphone. “I should tell you that I did ask for someone to help you out. Someone who knows Effie better than I do sometimes—”

Peeta slowed his car as he spotted the cozy cabin in front of him. However, he grimaced seeing the red Jeep already parked on its side.

“You didn’t.”

“Peeta, Katniss knows Effie very well,” his boss said calmly. “Just like you know me. I know that you two don’t get along—”

“Understatement of the year,” Peeta replied as he parked roughly.

“This is important. I’m proposing to Effie and I want it to be perfect,” Haymitch explained. “Katniss knows all the foods she likes to eat, and how to decorate the place to make it comfortable yet romantic. Effie and I are finishing up our meeting with Mr. Snow then we’ll be making our way up to the cabin for the holiday weekend. I’ll call you when we’re on our way so you and Katniss can take off—that is if you haven’t murdered one another by then.”

“I’m only doing this because I’m your assistant,” he called out.

“You could at least like me!” Haymitch joked. “I pay you an obscene amount for an assistant.”

“Katniss probably gets paid more.”

“Well, she picks up tampons for Effie without being asked so probably.”

“Everything will be ready by the time you get here,” Peeta promised. “And I’m doing this because I like and respect you.”

“Thank you, Peeta. Call you soon.”

++++++

Peeta Mellark sighed as he stepped out of his car, bags in hand. The snowy wind picked up and he wrapped his parka tighter around himself before rushing up to the porch. It was getting worse up here, and he hoped that the soon-to-be engaged couple would make it safely.

Getting out the key that Haymitch lent him, Peeta unlocked the door and quickly stepped in to keep the cold air from entering with him.

“Oh, you’re finally here.” Katniss Everdeen sailed into the room, placing a charcuterie board on the coffee table in the center of the sitting room. “I thought you died or something.”

Peeta gave her a wry smile, placing the bags on the floor before shaking off his parka and hanging it on the hook by the door.

“Thought or hoped?” He searched his bag before pulling out the champagne that Haymitch asked along with the two glasses. Going to the table, Peeta placed them on the table before going back to the bag for the champagne bucket. “Is there ice?”

“The fridge has an ice machine,” Katniss informed him tersely, nodding her head towards the left. “I’ve already gotten their dinner started.”

“Not surprised.” Peeta walked into the kitchen, heading to the stainless-steel fridge. “You’re so anal that you’ve probably carved those little radish flowers for garnish.”

“They’re in the fridge so they’ll be fresh.”

Peeta wasn’t sure why they didn’t get along.

For one, Katniss was admittedly attractive with her long dark, and almond-shaped grey eyes. The first time he saw his stomach had definitely done a little flip. She had been walking alongside Effie, notebook in hand, wearing a fitted black dress with a peter pan collar and paying scant attention to anything else around her.

She literally knocked him to the ground.

Katniss had apologized, holding out her hand to help him up.

And Peeta had fucking tingled at her touch.

Over the next few days as he learned the ropes of being Haymitch Abernathy’s assistant, Peeta noticed her across the hall. Effie Trinket’s office was directly adjacent to his boss’ and Katniss’ desk was in the same spot as his.

She kept her head down, never acknowledging him, so wrapped up in her work or answering her phone.

So, Peeta asked around.

“She’s an ice queen,” Cato, who was in Marketing, informed him. “Never wants to hang out with anyone or even join in during happy hour. It’s important here to form relationships with everyone. Panem Industries is all about workplace harmony and Katniss embodies none of that.”

“Yeah, she’s snooty, too,” Clove from IT added. “I once asked her something about her family and she replied that it was none of my business. Like I was just trying to get to know her!”

“Wow. I guess if Katniss is that much of a head case, then I shouldn’t bother to ask her for help,” he told the two.

After that, during any interaction, she treated him indifferently…cold even. Peeta couldn’t help but be disappointed that Cato and Clove’s words were true.

And that was the end of his fascination with Katniss Everdeen.

“You want to get out here and help me or was the ice machine too hard for you to maneuver?” Katniss suddenly called out.

Peeta quickly filled the bucket and stepped out.

Katniss was bent over the couch, arranging the pillows, and he felt a heat rush through his skin.

There was also the slight twinge in his crotch at seeing a firm apple-bottom in tight ski pants.

It seemed that Katniss Everdeen had a bigger effect on him than he realized.

++++++

Peeta Mellark had a huge effect on her.

Katniss struggled to keep the heat off her cheeks as she fixed the pillows that she bought for the cabin. Effie loved those cheesy sayings, so she went on Etsy and ordered custom-made pillows with her favorite quotes.

No one should spend so much time arranging pillows, but Katniss could feel his stare on her. It made her nervous…and tingly.

However, these feelings didn’t belong—especially in a work situation and she needed this job.

Taking a breath, Katniss turned…to find Peeta right behind her.

He jumped back, startled by her abrupt movements.

Whoa—was he checking her out?

“Why were you so close?” she blurted out.

“Sorry. It looked like you were confused about how pillows worked,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “You were there for a millennium.”

“Funny.” She sighed at the amusement in his gorgeous blue eyes—stop it!—and steeled her expression. “Do you think you could help me set up this romantic dinner for our bosses instead of standing there like an ass-licker?”

“You mean asshole.”

“I stand by my words,” Katniss replied and was surprised when he chuckled, his eyes crinkling as he did. She couldn’t help but let her mouth rise. “The table is in that closet next to the door. I got some table linens from a vintage shop that Effie likes last week.”

“Wow, you’re really on top of it,” Peeta remarked, going to the closet. “How do you have time for a life?”

She didn’t.

As in, Katniss didn’t have a life.

She had work, she had a home, but a social life was non-existent. Katniss knew what everyone said about her; that she was cold and distant, never wanting to be part of the team. It never bothered her because she did have her reasons.

So, she was surprised at how hurt she was when she heard Peeta call her a headcase.

Katniss hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, only passing the breakroom to get to the copy machine. However, she stopped at the mention of her name.

Cato’s words were no surprise, though he failed to mention that her iciness was due to him inappropriately putting his arm around her and telling her that they should get to know each other on a personal level. Katniss also didn’t trust Clove for shit; she was the office gossip.

It hit hard to know that the one person who had made her tingle was so easily influenced by two douchebags.

Katniss had decided, then and there, that if Peeta didn’t see past her exterior, then he must be like the rest of them.

“I’m very organized,” she replied. It came out harder than she intended. “I have to be.”

Peeta had already set up the table in front of the fireplace.

“Well, it’s in your favor,” he told her. “You’re a good assistant.”

Katniss looked up in surprise. “You think I’m a good assistant?”

Peeta snorted. “Like you didn’t know it—where are the tablecloths?”

She handed him a beautiful fuchsia tablecloth followed by a cream lace one.

“Fuchsia first then layer it with the lace,” she told him. “I always hope I am. Effie is a great boss and she’s so supportive about work-and-homelife balance. I want to make sure this is all perfect for her.”

Katniss helped Peeta straighten the cloth, smoothing it down and making sure that there were no wrinkles. They settled into a light conversation about working with their respective bosses while setting the rest of the table. While Peeta worked on the place settings, he told her about how he admired Haymitch’s down-to-earth attitude despite being one of the most successful people in the company.

She arranged the florals in the center of the table while telling him how she had worked two jobs prior to getting this one.

“I was a waitress and housekeeper before this,” she revealed. “I was working a crazy lunch rush when I met Effie. We got to talking because she noticed how I met her coffee exactly the way she liked it despite my ragged expression—her words not mine. Effie kept on coming in, and a month after we met, she offered me the assistant job. Said she like my gumption.”

“That’s really cool,” Peeta said. He set down one of the forks he was cleaning and met her eyes. “You know, this is the first time we’ve really talked. I kind of believed you thought of me as your enemy.”

“I thought the same thing.” Katniss placed a folded napkin on the plate in front of her. “You called me a head case.”

His blue eyes widened, shocked at her words. Slowly, she could see in his eyes, the memory of his words.

“I didn’t know you heard that,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean it and I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine!” Katniss stood up abruptly. The pain of his words churned in her stomach. “I know that everyone talks about me. In my defense, Cato was completely inappropriate when we first met. I thought acting like a bitch would stave him off. Clove has no filter—”

Peeta’s brows furrowed at her sudden coldness.

“I realize that now—one year later…is that why you completely ignore me? Why you act like the sight of me makes you sick?”

“I do not!” Katniss cried out into the room. “You avoid me at all costs!”

“Because the one time that I attempted to ask you a question—you brushed me aside!” he shouted. “If you had bothered to talk to me, I wouldn’t have believed what people said in the first place—” Peeta’s phone rang, and he quickly picked up, seeing his boss’ face on his screen. “Haymitch? You on your way? What? No, I haven’t looked outside—”

Katniss rushed to one of the front windows, pulling back the curtain.

White everywhere.

She couldn’t even see her car and it was bright fucking red!

“They’re not coming.”

Turning, Katniss found Peeta putting his phone in his pocket as he approached.

“The snowstorm came unexpectedly, and the roads are blocked. They’re staying at Effie’s to wait it out while we…are stuck here until it passes.”

++++++

The good thing was that the house was fully equipped. Food was stocked in the fridge since the couple had planned to stay for the long weekend. Both he and Katniss had even brought Haymitch and Effie’s luggage so there had clothing.

“Well, dinner must be ready,” Katniss informed him with a sigh. “If you want to get more comfortable, you can probably change to something of Haymitch’s. I have a call to make before my phone dies and then I’ll pull the food out of the oven.”

Peeta nodded numbly, grabbing Haymitch's duffle and going to the opposite open door where the bedroom was. He tossed the bag on the bed—

The one bed.

Turning, he rushed out of the room to look for his female counterpart. “Katniss!” He found the sitting room empty and headed into the kitchen.

“Yes, I’ll be fine,” she spoke quietly into the phone. “Just be nice to Johanna, okay? I’ll be home soon.” Her voice sounded completely different, light and happy—even affectionate. “I love you, too. Good night.”

He knocked on the archway and she turned to him.

“We have a problem,” he told her. “There’s only one bed.”

“And the couch is really just a loveseat,” Katniss mused as she pulled the food—steak with roasted asparagus and potatoes. Her expression was pained, and she blew out a breath. “I don’t really want to think about this right now. Why don’t we just eat?”

Peeta quickly nodded in agreement, rushing to the sitting room, and grabbing their plates.

“Why don’t you let me set this up?” he told her, seeing how frazzled she seemed. “Have a seat. Open the champagne—”

Katniss laughed and the sound of her lightened the load on his chest.

“You trying to get me drunk, Mellark?”

Peeta smirked. “If it makes you like me, then yes.”

“Fine, fine…” Katniss sauntered off towards the doorway. She stopped at the archway and their eyes met. Her gaze was nervous, but he could see the warmth in her greys. “You’re not my enemy, Peeta. And…I like you more than you think.”

Katniss disappeared, but not before he spied the blush on her cheeks.

Peeta felt another twinge. This time—in his chest.

++++++

Instead of sitting at the table, Katniss grabbed Effie’s luggage, a classic Louis Vuitton that cost more than her old Jeep, and brought it to the bedroom.

The one bedroom. With the one bed.

A sudden image of herself spooned contentedly against Peeta in that very bed rose in her mind—

“Stop tripping off him!” she chided herself.

Distractedly, Katniss opened the bag, sorting for something remotely comfortable in her boss’ luggage. However, it looked like Effie was expecting some sort of kinky weekend. The only sleepwear she had was a tiny red number that Katniss would probably bust out of; Effie was a tiny but fierce woman.

Maybe she could borrow something from Haymitch’s pile—

“Katniss?”

“I’m coming!” she called out before stuffing Effie’s lingerie back into the back.

Walking back into the room, Katniss saw that Peeta had already placed the plates on the table. He stood waiting for her, looking obnoxiously handsome as he had the day they met.

That first time, she had knocked him to the ground so caught up in following with Effie’s rapid pace. When Katniss held out her hand to him, she was caught up in the open smile he gave her. Then it was the gold waves along his forehead, which Katniss desperately wanted to brush back and the blue of his eyes—they had a tinge of grey in them.

For a moment, she was just a girl, and he was just a boy. Peeta didn’t know anything about the rumors of her iciness or how someone like her, with no college degree, managed to get a position like hers.

In that moment, Katniss was pure.

“You alright?” Peeta asked, interrupting her moment down memory lane.

“Yes.” She let him help her into her seat. “I was just thinking about something.”

“Was it the one bed thing?” he joked. “I’m fine with sleeping on the floor—”

Katniss held her hand up. “Let’s be grownups. It’s a big bed and we can put a pillow between us.”

“Very to the point,” Peeta replied, holding up his champagne glass. “To being grown-ups.”

“To being grown-ups.” She clinked her glass to his and took a full gulp. The liquid bubbled through her, making her laugh. “Wow, that’s some good shit.”

Peeta guffawed. “We’re going to have some fun.”

END OF PART ONE

[arlenianchronicles]

Please ignore my phone’s terrible quality; I’ll get some more professional photos done soon! I just wanted to share the newly-arrived Star-foam pins with y’all!! :DDD

I’ll have them up in my Etsy shop by the start of the next week (I hope). It’s nearing the end of the semester, so I’m kinda tied up with work at the moment ^^;;; But once that’s all done, I’ll have time to take some nicer photos and get Blobros’ promotion all set up! 

And as a final note for now, thank you so much to those who’ve ordered a Star-dome pin and also left a review! Your support really means a lot to me!! Thank y’all so much!! T_T 💕💕💕💕💕💕

[law-of-excluded-middle]

we have to stop meeting like this - part four (of four)

I wrote (part of) a fic for the Witcher Bog (@thewitcherbog) Discord server's July fic train event! I'm really grateful to the Bog for this opportunity to ease gently into writing fanfic, since this is really new for me :')

I was the caboose of the fic train, so if you've been following along, I hope you enjoy how it ends! And thanks for reading!

–

Ship: Lambden

Rating: T

Summary: Lambert, an angry apartment-dweller, deals with an uninvited guest. Repeatedly.

Written for @thewitcherbog train event with @all-hail-the-witcher, @king-finnigan and @jaskierswolf

Words: 5k (part four: 1.5k)

Part one, two, three, four (this one!) - AO3

Aiden, apparently, did a little bit of everything.

“Mostly gig stuff. Food delivery, grocery shopping, odd jobs... I build people’s flatpack furniture for them,” he rattled off. “Cat-sitting,” he added when Bastard, who had just come back inside through the open window, slinked over to him and bumped her head against his shoulder.

Aiden looked at the cat with such tender adoration in his eyes that it made Lambert feel almost uncomfortably warm, and he had to look away as Aiden continued. “I do some regular work for the community garden downtown, and I’m part of a pottery co-op.”

“Pottery? What, d’ya, like, sell shit on Etsy?” Lambert said between slurps of noodles.

A wry smile played on Aiden’s lips. “No,” he answered. “But I usually put in some hours at the winter craft market, peddling mugs and decorative plates, that sort of thing.” He paused. “As far as seasonal work goes, I imagine it’s a better deal than selling Christmas trees in the Home Depot parking lot,” he said, his smile growing into a teasing grin.

“Whoa,” Lambert said, starting. He felt his pulse race. “How do – how do you know where I work? Have you seriously been stalking me?” For the first time, he felt genuinely apprehensive in the presence of his mysterious guest.

But Aiden just laughed. “You’re joking, right?” Lambert scowled, which made Aiden laugh some more. “Your apron is hanging on the rack by the door. Your bright orange apron.”

Lambert whipped his head toward the door, then jerked it back around, and Aiden let out another peal of laughter. Lambert’s face was so hot he felt sweat beading on his forehead. He clenched his teeth, puffing up to defend himself, or at least to say something cutting and uncharitable, draw the focus away from his own cartoonish overreaction.

But one look at Aiden, leaning back on his hands where they were planted on the floor behind him, his head tossed back, shoulders shaking, and Lambert’s chagrin vanished like smoke before he had a chance to get properly worked up. “Oh, blame me for being suspicious of the guy who keeps breaking into my place,” he grumbled.

Still grinning, Aiden cocked his head. “Haven’t we already been over this? I don’t break in, I have a copy of your key.” His eyes sparkled deviously. “You’ll never guess where I had it made.” He glanced pointedly toward the coat rack once again before meeting Lambert’s gaze, his mouth quirked playfully.

“What, at my Home Depot?” Lambert demanded incredulously. Aiden answered with a toothy smile. “Unbelievable,” Lambert huffed. “How did you – when did you even get your hands on my key to copy it? – No, never mind, I don’t even care. What I’m more interested to know is how the hell this all started.”

Aiden’s eyes widened innocently. “How what all started?” But then he broke into a grin – that mischievous grin that Lambert was too quickly getting used to, and growing fond of – and sighed, apparently settling in for a story. “Let’s see, the first time I was here, that was a few weeks ago, right?”

“Weeks? Weeks?” This was news to Lambert. He had only become aware of Aiden’s drop-ins in the last ten days or so.

“Ah, right, right – you know, I think it was actually three weeks ago to the day! Imagine that,” Aiden continued, smiling beatifically, as if Lambert hadn’t even spoken. “Well... this story does not paint me in the most flattering light, actually…”

“Imagine that,” Lambert echoed dryly. “The story of the first time you broke into my apartment – and that was a break-in, I don’t even want to hear you try to deny it – and you’re telling me you don’t come out looking like the hero?”

“I’m not sure I see what you’re getting at,” Aiden said primly, not looking at Lambert. “Well, the short of it is, I’d gotten into a bit of a disagreement with some gentlemen that evening, and that turned into more of a scrap, which quickly gave way to a brawl. And I decided that the most civilized thing for me to do was to bow out gracefully.”

“So, you ran away,” Lambert said, for clarification.

“Like a bat out of hell,” Aiden confirmed with a smirk that was somehow both arrogant and self-deprecating. Lambert felt warm again. “Look, it wasn’t my finest hour. These guys were big, and I’m pretty agile, but I know when I’m outmatched.”

Aiden paused to hum thoughtfully. “Now, you on the other hand…” he continued. “If it had been you in my place, I imagine you could have taken them.” He smiled a tiny, devious little smile and curled forward, reaching out to wrap a hand around Lambert’s biceps. It flexed in his grip and his smile grew wide. “Yes, I’m quite sure,” he purred.

Lambert felt very warm. “Yeah, I’m. Uh. I, I guess I’m pretty good in a scrap. I, you know, I.” He flexed his arm again. “Move a lotta wood.”

“I bet you do,” Aiden murmured, leaning even further into Lambert’s space and looking up at him through his dense, dark eyelashes.

“Lumber,” Lambert hastened to clarify. “At. Fucking – At Home Depot. You know. Dimensional lumber, and pressure-treated pine, and like six kinds of plywood. OSB. MDF. You name it.” He grimaced.

Aiden was openly delighted at how flustered Lambert was getting, but he seemed to take pity on him. With a parting squeeze, he let go of Lambert’s arm and resumed eating his noodles, the picture of innocence.

“Let’s see – right, so I made my strategic exit and found myself hiding up your fire escape. Saw this little one get in through a half-open window” – he scratched behind the cat’s ears and she rubbed her face against his hand shamelessly – “and I figured I could use a place to lie low for an hour or two, so.” Aiden shrugged. He set his takeout container aside on the coffee table and scooped Bastard into his lap.

“Okay, that doesn’t explain why you kept coming back,” Lambert pointed out.

And there was that condescending smirk again. “Well, this part of the story isn’t so flattering for you,” he said.

Lambert scowled, which probably wasn’t very flattering for him, either.

Aiden sighed, still smiling. “I got such a strong impression of loneliness, just from being in your apartment for a few hours. And I thought you could use a friend. Who doesn’t want to make a new friend?” He looked so sweet and earnest for a moment that Lambert lost his train of thought.

But it came back. “Are you telling me you made a copy of my key so you could keep hanging around my apartment, because you pitied me?” he asked, baffled.

Aiden pouted just a little. “I wouldn’t say pitied, no. But come on, the tower of identical takeout containers” – he gestured pointedly to the one out of which Lambert was still eating – “seemed a bit sad. You needed some novelty in your life!”

Lambert stared at him. Objectively, this was batshit behavior.

And yet, he couldn’t find himself feeling anything but want. It had been so long since Lambert could remember wanting, or wanting anything new, anyway. He didn’t want to fight it.

“You’re definitely novel, I’ll give you that,” Lambert said at last. “So, what now? Because I gotta be honest with you,” he paused, “we really have to stop meeting like this.”

Aiden broke into a toothy grin. “Now? I think I ought to head home,” he said, rolling his shoulders back and stretching languidly. “And tomorrow, I think you should take me out for breakfast.”

“I have work in the morning,” Lambert protested.

“No you don’t,” Aiden replied without missing a beat.

“Damn, it really is a little creepy how well you know my schedule.”

Aiden laughed wickedly as he stood up, and Lambert followed. “I don’t have a car, will you drive? I can meet you here at ten, how’s that?”

“You don’t have a –? Never mind. Yeah, ten’s fine.” He had to wonder how the guy managed to work all these delivery gigs without a car, but they didn’t need to get into it right now; he had a feeling that it would take him some time to figure out how the hell Aiden operated, and he thought, with a fluttery sort of hope, that he would have that time.

Lambert walked Aiden to the door, and Aiden looked up at him coyly.

“I’ll have you know, Lambert, that I’m not one to kiss on the first date,” he said with affected sternness.

Lambert choked a little, startled, his face heating up rapidly. “Uh-huh, well, that’s fine, I won’t be uhh, expecting anything just for buying you breakfast,” he stammered.

Aiden just narrowed his eyes and smirked. “That’s what tonight was for: now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I might be expecting something after you buy me breakfast.” He raised his eyebrows slyly and then slipped out the door, leaving Lambert feeling entirely too warm.

If this all worked out, he thought, they were going to have to come up with a better story about how they met.

[coldbrewtarot]

Brief Succulent Care Guide for the New Green Witch

Gather ‘round, lil new green witches! I received a lot of engagement on my last succulent-related post, so I wanted to make a little bit more thorough post on succulent care. Allow me to impart with you some of the knowledge I’ve gained from my fuck ups while on my green witch path. This is not a comprehensive guide to succulent care! These are just notes from my personal grimoire and what works best for me when I care for succulents. I’ve had the highest success rate with my succulents when I follow my notes below, but other people have their own methods that may not be the same as mine (i.e. mixing their own soil vs buying store bought premixed soil)

🌱General Notes:🌱

Great plants for people that are looking to improve their gardening skills; great beginner plants.

Great plants for dry climates and sunny weather.

Don’t require much maintenance and you can accidentally ignore them without much consequence!

The bright vibrant or sweet pastel colors that you see on succulents when you first bring them home or in photos are from stress. Succulents don’t always stay this color and will typically turn a green (ranging from light to emerald to forest greens) when they’re not stressed. This is ok! This does not mean the succulent is dying or unhealthy.

You can stress succulents by giving them less water, more sunlight, and have them in cold temperatures.

💧Water notes:💧

Don’t water too often

Only water when the soil is completely dry

When watering, completely soak the roots

Don’t let water sit on top of the soil in the pot or overflow

It is easier to revive dried out succulents than it is to save succulents that have drowned and/or developed rot.

When watering, aim for the roots by using a plastic syringe or squirt bottle with a very fine spout.

Do not water the leaves on top, only water at the base where the roots are.

🌵Soil notes:🌵

Use soil that drains well

Cactus/succulent potting mix if using pots

If you’re not mixing your own soil, use the cactus potting mix and mix in pumice (can be ordered online or bought from garden stores)

This helps drain the water

Pearlite can also be used to drain the soil and is more cost effective than pumice, but isn’t as effective.

💸Buying Succulents:💸

Can be purchased at big box stores, bought from mom & pop garden shops, or ordered online from etsy or IG.

When ordering succulents online, be careful and be sure to order from reputable shops. (Some stores on IG or Tumblr may be scammers, so be cautious! It is possible for them to pass off stressed succulents to inexperienced plant guardians as rarer varieties. Some shops may not have the succulent at all and may’ve stolen the photos they used.)

When you take succulents home from the store (especially big box stores) immediately remove the soil from their roots and repot them in your soil mix. Store bought succulents most likely haven’t been cared for properly and will need a lil bit of love and care when they first come home. Big stores typically either drown succulents, pot them in the wrong soil, or didn’t maintain them properly.

🌿Potting Succulents:🌿

If you’re potting multiple succulents in a container, to give succulents enough space to grow (about 2″)

With roots: plant as normal!

Without roots:

Freshly clipped/cut: Wait until callous has formed. Don’t plant or try to water because it will just rot!

With callous: Go ahead and stick them in soil! Water and treat as normal. New roots systems will form soon and your plant may sprout pups and offshoots!

Pot Notes:

Use pots with drainage holes when first starting out (This help prevents root rot and lets water drain all the way through)

Elevate the pot to be above ground (maybe in a pot holder or something that allows air to flow through the bottom)

Glazed pots retain less water, so they’re good to help water drain through

Terracotta pots specifically absorb and retain water (which is good for plants that really like water, but need close attention when used for succulents) 

🌤Weather notes:🌤

You’ll need to water more in the dry weather and when it’s really hot

Water less when it’s colder or humid

Succulents like bright indirect sunlight (Direct sunlight can burn succulents!)

If you live in a colder climate, don’t get much sunlight, or are growing succulents indoors, you might consider getting a grow light so that your succulents can thrive in climates they may not typically grow naturally in.

🍃Propagation notes:🍃

When succulents begin to rot or die, they shed their leaves. While the plant may be dying, the leaves can be saved to create new baby succulents!

If you’re going to prop them, separate the leaves in a lil tray and let them dry over a few days.

When the tips where the wounds are (where you cut them) dry up, a callous will form.

Once this happens, you’ll be able to place the leaf on top of a tray of soil.

Once roots begin to form, you can spray them with water to help promote growth.

Once roots grow, you’ll eventually be able to pot them in your own starter pots.

Proplifting/propstealing: This is when you go to a store (usually a big box store) and kind of scavenge around for fallen leaves. Some people clip leaves off existing succulents, but I don’t condone this and don’t engage in this sort of theft. Plants have spirits and to steal a leaf is like stealing from that spirit. However...

You definitely *shouldn’t* proplift leaves (pick fallen leaves up off the floor) from big box stores that can afford to lose a leaf they will throw away. You definitely *shouldn’t* stick it to big box stores that take advantage and abuse their employees. You really really *shouldn’t* and I definitely encourage you *not to* proplift.

(Note: On the real, don’t even think about stealing even a little leaf or petal from a mom & pop shop. Don’t even put that energy out there. But big box stores who overwork their employees and pay them way too little, as far as I and my higher power are concerned, fuck ‘em.)

🛠Care & maintenance notes:🛠

If leaves are crispy, they are either dry or sun burnt.

If leaves are squishy and yellow/orange in color, this is from too much water

Occasionally, the leaves at the base of the succulent beneath all of the other leaves will dry out. (This is normal!)

DON’T TOUCH the powder on top. This protects them from sun, pests, etc. and will never grow back if you touch it.

🔮✖️🔮✖️🔮MAKE IT WITCHY 🔮✖️🔮✖️🔮

🧚🏻‍♀️Pixie Gardens:🧚🏻‍

There are vendors that will sell little itty bitty succulent gardens called pixie gardens. You can incorporate these pixie gardens into your practice and keep one handy for your lil fae friends. (If you don’t already work with the fae, please do research beforehand!)

🌕Moon Magick:🌕

New Moon: Take this time to plant new arrangements, prop succulents, repot succulents (within reason, don’t do this like every month), etc. This is a fresh start!

I create moon water when there is a new moon. I have a mason jar, typically, (a few if I’m honest) and fill it with water and a bit of succulent fertilizer. (Use the appropriate ratio based on the fertilizer instructions.) Then I set the jars out over night, allow the new moon to charge them, and then use this water to spray onto my propagation leaves or in plants I’ve recently repotted. This is great for succulents you’re hoping to revive or new babies you’re hoping to grow.

🔮How I incorporate magick into my gardening and gardening into my practice:🔮

When I garden, I set my intentions with each succulent I pot or arrange. I speak to it while I do this and communicate with my higher power. I whisper what I hope to manifest as I set the pot on my plant stand or find a place for it on my balcony.

I release stress and hand over my worries over to my higher power while I garden. It’s very therapeutic and helps me reflect.

You can create new life by planting and gardening. Succulents that you have birthed from propagation are extensions of you.

As you water and nourish your garden, you are watering and nourishing your intentions, hopes, and dreams.

I plant succulents (and other plants) in the name of others and pour my love into the plant as I would for that person. My energy flows back into my garden work and continues through the universe.

~~~~~

Additional Resources:

Youtube:

Laura Eubanks // Design by Serenity

Cerriscapades

My Succulent Garden

SuccsForYou!

Angel’s Grove Gardening

Books:

Idiot’s Guide: Succulents (by Succulents and Sunshine / The Succulent FAQ podcast)

IG:

@/lauralovessucculents (Laura Eubank’s IG)

@/chrissysuccs (this is my personal plant account; i post a bunch of succulents and IDs)

Podcasts:

The Succulent FAQ (spotify)

Websites & Blogs:

Succulentsandsunshine.com

~~~~~

I have a full shelf of books and magazines on succulents that I have to get through. As I go through them, I’ll add them to the list of resources and add in the new info that I learn, so stay tuned for edits within reblogs! If you have any questions, feel free to DM me! I’m happy to help~

[designsfromtime]

Is the Customer Always Right?

If anything, I am guileless when it comes to offering all ya’ll a behind the scenes peek at what a “day in the life” of a historical costumer can offer. Sometimes I worry about coming off as ungrateful when I share a problematic situation, but I believe being honest allows me to embrace my humanity, and gives you all permission to do the same. It looks like fun creating all these gorgeous costumes, and it is! - - but there is an unfortunate ugly side to owning your own business: Dealing with entitled and difficult customers. 

My career has taken many twists and turns over the last two or three decades. Before I retired in 2012 at 52 and began designing costumes full-time, I was a medical transcriptionist. I owned my own transcription service as well as working for a huge opthomalogical practice back in California. As such, I have taken many, many training seminars in customer service. It’s been drilled into my head that for every one person who is dissatisfied they will tell ten more people. 

With those statistics in mind, I have endeavored to focus on customer service both in my tenure as a medical transcriptionist, as well as today in my costuming business. But the fact of the matter is that not every client will be a good fit for your particular business or your personality, but I do feel somehow I have failed  clients even when they become overly demanding and, dare I say, self-centered, and I have to cut them loose. 

Look, I get it! Plunking down 2K for an entire ensemble is a HUGE investment for any client! I don’t take any of my clients for granted - ever.  I endeavor to give each client equally of my time and attention. As a general rule, I am extremely conscientious about responding quickly to messages and inquiries. I go to great lengths to explain my process and educate about cut, textiles, and construction of historical clothing and lay out what they can expect, even though I find myself repeating the same spiel over and over. 

I’ve mentioned this several times before, but I have heard the horror stories from both clients and cast mates: costumers (even those touted as scions in the costuming forums) taking a client’s money and receiving their fabrics, only to ghost on them and not respond when the client tries to get them to honor the commission and actually MAKE the gown they paid for, or they do not respond to the client’s requests when asked to refund the money AND return their fabrics only to find this same “costumer” has not only ignored them but used THEIR fabrics for a gown which they put up for sale on Ebay. Another nightmare story is about some of the vendors on Etsy who promise to ship a gown by a certain due date, take the client’s money and when that date comes and goes and the client contacts them they LIE and say, “It’s in the mail!” - Only to learn that they haven’t even finished it! Worse, when the gown arrives it started falling apart the first weekend they wore it at faire and she paid $600 for it! Then there is the account of a vendor in the Ukraine who ran out of velvet to finish a client’s Italian gown and rather than waiting and reordering the fabric, they made the gown but SCRIMPED on the fullness of the skirt and shipped it as is without consulting the client. In THOSE situations I would agree that the customer is RIGHT. I haven’t found myself in the same situations as these “costumers” because I would NEVER treat a client with such disregard - but I have found myself in a nightmare scenario more than once that involves the client becoming difficult for no justifiable reason.

I’ve been fortunate that in the seven years since opening my studio here in WA I have only had FIVE clients who made me want to pound my fist against my computer screen and question why I am in this business. Yes, they were that frustrating!  One of those instances I wrote about in a post called “When It All Goes South” I’ll spare you the details of the other four, but usually the common denominator has been that they didn’t respect my time and my busy schedule, or the efforts I made in the consultation process. That sounds very benign, but a to relate a situation that happened this week wherein I spent 1.5 months exchanging 70+ detailed and lengthy messages, and provided them with dozens, and dozens and DOZENS of fabric options and they kept asking for more, and more, hoping that one of them will fall into the Goldilocks zone, it became frustrating. We hadn’t even gotten half way through the consult process because the client was stalled on fabrics. I didn’t mention the fact that after she paid her deposit she changed the style of the gown multiple times. *face palm*

You may be reading this and shrugging your shoulders and asking “What’s the problem?” The problem in the case I just described is that choosing fabric is only the FIRST step in the design process, but also I have deadlines imposed by the clients. If they don’t comply I can’t meet those deadlines. Until a client chooses their main fabric I cannot begin to offer any ideas for the overall design aesthetic, nor can I choose a complimentary color for their sleeves and forepart, not to mention the embroidery pattern to be used, or sussing out whether or not they will need a trim that may take up to 4 or 5 months to ship - such as the case of a gold bouillon trim I ordered from India recently which she stated she was interested in using, not to mention it requires 4 to 6 weeks of hand tacking!  The expectation of this client was that I would be an endless fountain of “options” - and because she was investing 2K I should spend as much time as she wanted footering around window shopping for fabrics while her timeline is ticking away. When after a month and a half I began to draw a boundary and tell her I need a decision if she expects me to meet her deadline because there is a ton more work I need to do on her consult, she felt I wasn’t giving her ENOUGH of my time and stated that because I was pressed on time for current engagements I could not offer any additional efforts to her as a client.  This, after spending MORE time than is usual with this client, I am to blame?  

I learned from an extremely difficult client in 2018 not to allow a bad situation to malinger and hope for the best. In that particular case it went from BAD to WORSE, and I had to dig in my heels and refuse to bend to her ever growing ridiculous demands. If I cannot work with a client in the consult phase, and I’m pretty damn patient ya’ll, then I have learned the actual construction process will only unravel further. 

As a side note, normally by the time I’ve exchanged two dozen messages with a client, I have their fabric sorted, and I’ve sourced a complimentary color for their sleeves and forepart, found their trim and/or the embroidery pattern, sketched their gown, and presented them with a design board.  Sooooo. . . I offered this particular woman a refund on her “non-refundable” deposit minus my consultation fee of $100 for the hours and hours and HOURS of research I spent over that 1.5 months offering her more and more options to consider. She was pissed that I was unwilling to allow her to take months to decide, and no amount of “explaining” the urgency or my time constraints seemed to sink in. No matter what I said she is convinced that “I” was the problem. 

So, is that situation a failure on my part? Should I be willing to set aside another client’s commission to cater to this woman’s demands? What’s more, is the customer ALWAYS right? 

There is an oft-quoted catchphrase in the business world that states: “the customer is always right.” I’ve heard that in many training seminars. Lalana showed me  comic wherein it stated “The Costumer is always right.” I laughed, but there is a prevalent attitude that WE must meet the customers’ needs even if it means we often go to ridiculous extents to please them. However, treating customers like they are always right can be self-destructive for entrepreneurs like myself and here’s why.

In an article by “Entrepreneur” they offer FIVE reasons why the customer is NOT always right and why: 

1. Businesses Have Limited Resources

Entrepreneurs like myself are not omnipotent, neither are employees - or in my case, my assistant Lalana. Most businesses, especially the fledgling ones, operate with limited resources including limited time, funds, and energy. Every business experiences its share of grudging customers, who, no matter what might be done to satisfy their needs, will continue to complain.

Feeling guilty and culpable for such petulance is actually unwise and it affects your business in a negative way. If the necessary steps have been taken to address the issues of a customer, then a business owner should close the matter and move on.

'Businesses are not dependent on individual buyers. It is actually immature to spend all the energy to satisfy someone who does not intend to be happy. It is important to address the requirements of hundreds and thousands of other regular clients, and also show solidarity with the employees,”

2. It Adds Misery to Employees

Any business will invariably have its share of malicious, rude, snappy consumers. Amongst 50 customers there will at least be 5 who will end up rubbing you the wrong way. Now, reacting to such folk with appeasement and guilt is utter naivete! 

Making employees believe that the customer is always right, is tantamount to making them feel dejected. Between supporting your employees and taking sides with an intolerable, enraged customer, it is best to choose the former (the employee). Customers must get this message that though they are important they are NOT indispensable, while supporting employees always pays extra dividends.

"With constant support from the owners comes a sense of loyalty amongst the employees who then provide better service to customers. It's axiomatic that happy employees always go an extra mile to make customers happy." 

3. Customers Are Not Omniscient

The creator of a business and the team that works with him know best about the product or service they offer. But customers are often upset because the products don't function the way they want them to - or in the case of my costuming business, they may have expectations around how much time I am able to spend in a consultation, or that through no fault of our own we cannot accommodate their specific vision they have of a particular gown. In the recent experience, the client kept asking for color combinations that are not available in the fabrics she insisted upon. All I can do is offer an alternative and try to compromise by offering options. But the attitude that a client knows best leads to an expectation that I be willing to go to any extent when they demand unrealistic or even ludicrous things.

Often customers will try to establish that they know better and try to share opinions or advice on how a product should look or work. Irrespective of the sector of the business, it is risky to give customers the liberty to think they cannot be wrong. 

The key is to establish with customers, in a very amicable way, that the maker of the product is the final authority - In my case that would be ME. I go to great lengths to educate customers on my products and service in order to help them understand my expertise or why I use a certain procedure. I won’t take on a project that I am not passionate about, but more especially when my knowledge is discounted and they wish me to create something that doesn’t fit into my design aesthetic I will decline the order because there needs to be a state of sympatico between designer and customer. 

4. It Pits Management Against Employees

The message that the customer is always right, is demoralizing, and results in bitterness against management and indicates that the organization favours the customers more than the workforce. In reality, taking  the side of the employees generates happier customers because your employee, or yourself, will have a more positive attitude. 

5. You Don't Want Every Customer

Not all customers are indispensable and businesses must accept that. It is better to let go of a persistently complaining and abusive customer who only end up creating stress amongst the employees (or myself). This is irrespective of the amount the customer pays for your product.

Disgruntled customers can wear away your spirit, involve a very high quantity of resources, and add to your stress levels. It is sometimes sensible to lose a customer for protecting the company and its workforce.

"To stay in business for a long time, entrepreneurs need to avoid unreasonably disgruntled customers. Getting rid of bad customers might cost a little profit, but it's healthier in the long-term goals of the business,"

The full article can be found here: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/308548

While these “talking points” are focused on the Management versus Employee relationships, they are valid across the board for a small business owner whether or not you have employees. All of the angst and frustration and demoralization felt by employees or managers who are forced to capitulate to an over-demanding or self-centered and entitled customer is just as keenly felt by me (the owner). It puts me in a grumpy negative head space and it effects my attitude in the studio, which in turn affects Lalana who has to put up with my grumpy ass, and wears down my energy to the extent it affects my usual generosity to the rest of my clients. 2K in commissions just isn’t worth the hassle!   

So, while I’m still working through the guilt and the regret of having to cut loose a client as I did this week, I’m learning that my work will speak for itself, and for every ONE client I have a negative experience, I have MORE who actually appreciate me and are reasonable enough to understand I have deadlines and they are 50% responsible for the success of their commission. I may not be in a place of full acceptance that I could not have made this particular client happy, but I feel justified in drawing a boundary that just because a client spends 2K in my store, it does not give them permission to behave like an entitled premadonna. 

[poisonarium]

Day 1-2: Light-weight vivarium build

The basic summary: Standard 29g tank, flipped vertically. I will use a conversion kit to put a door on the side of it. False bottom, light substrate, and light background. Hopefully bioactive. This will be a home for my adult crested gecko, Sunny. If you’re completely unfamiliar with how I tend to build vivariums, here’s a more detailed post from a different build.

Day 1

I had a weekend fully available for a change, so I built the false bottom yesterday and started on the background today. Here’s how it’s been going-

1.) Got some crappy, flimsy “““egg crate”““ for cheap. It is not remotely similar to the rigid stuff that gets used in fluorescent light fixtures, so I’m going to need to reinforce it quite a lot. First, I zip-tied several pieces of it together in the centers. Zip-tie ... ties... are intentionally on the underside of the material, because those little ‘ties’ are really sharp after  you cut them. This would be particularly important to do if you had a burrowing animal.

2.) More zip-tying, this time in the form of plastic craft mesh going on the top side of the egg crate to add rigidity. Flipped upside down, here’s what it looks like before I cut the tails off the ties.

3.) Silicone’d risers to the bottom of the tank. These are 2″ pieces of plastic tubing, usually used in plumbing. They were pre-sized, so I didn’t need to cut them or anything. Since I’m not putting a whole filtered water feature in this tank, and just using the false bottom for drainage, I can keep it relatively shallow (especially since stuff evaporates quickly in my climate). You really don’t want a lot of standing water anyway- bad stuff grows in that when you don’t filter it- so there’s no point in making it super deep in my use case. 2″ should be fine.

4.) Flipped the egg-crate false bottom upright, set it on top of the risers, and then put window mesh on top of it. This is for two reasons- first, because my false bottom isn’t completely flush with the walls of my aquarium, this will keep stuff from falling through the gap around it. Secondly, I was looking at the holes on the craft mesh, and thought they looked a little big, considering I intend to have isopods breeding in there. If the little baby isopods fell through, they would just die down there. So with the window mesh and craft mesh together, this should prevent that (I hope). Then I siliconed the edges of the window mesh down on to the glass so that it couldn’t be accidentally pulled up.

Day 2

5.) I let the false bottom’s silicone dry overnight, and then I took the vivarium out in to the garage this morning to resume working on it. Here it is flipped on to its side so that I can work on the background, showing how the false bottom came together. Everything stays in place even when the tank is upside-down, which is perfect. It’s very light, but perfectly sturdy at this point. My gecko barely weighs anything anyway, and I don’t plan on putting anything heavy on top of it regardless.

6.) I only have one can of spray foam right now, and obviously I don’t want to go out shopping since it’s a pandemic out there, so I asked everyone I knew to give me any packing foam that they got from deliveries over the last few weeks. Always better to reuse existing materials, anyway. Using this, combined with a huge package of cork bark that I got off an Etsy seller, I can basically arrange everything like Tetris pieces on to the background, silicone them down, and then just use the spray foam to fill in any large gaps. I didn’t remember to take any pictures of everything laid out, though. I broke up the foam in to pieces of varying sizes and shapes so that there will be varying depths and cracks and such in the background. Helps it look more natural once it’s done.

7.) Anyway, after I got the layout in mind, I then removed everything and started to work on the edges first. The edges will be the hardest to get looking right and to get fully sealed, and I prefer to always get the hard stuff done first when I’m working on something. Here’s the bottom edge- I started there, then worked my way around clockwise. I had to be very careful here, because I can’t easily see the edges as I’m working on them due to all the weird angles. I also know if I can see an unfinished edge or something once it’s done, it’ll drive me nuts. The edges happen to be the closest part to the viewer’s eye, too, so it’s extra important to do it right.

8.) Here it is with the image flipped at about the angle I’ll be viewing it from once it’s done. (The tank itself is still laying on its back. I don’t want all that coconut coir and dirt and such falling in to my false bottom.) I accidentally got some silicone on the glass despite taping it, but that’s fine, because I can just scrape it away with a razor blade later. I packed the edges as well as I could with the materials I had on hand, laying the silicone first and then pressing moss and coconut fiber in to it. Now it’s drying; once it’s dried, I’ll use a shop vac to get all the loose materials out and reuse them later as I continue. Next step will be to fill in the center with bark, foam pieces, and some plastic plant pots that I’ll be recessing in to the background.

Contents

Day 1-2: Steps 1-8 (here)

Day 3: Steps 9-10

Days ???: Steps 11-15

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

as usual, an unrealistic list of things I’d really like to get done over the three-day weekend, which is not super likely to go well considering I’m posting this at 5 fucking p.m. but whatever:

gaming-related

I have exactly a month left on my (so far unused, whoops) PC Game Pass subscription, so I need to go over my wish list again and identify

which games have achievements

each game’s average playtime so I can prioritize

which ones interest me the most (emphasis on spooky games because...it’s spooky season)

try Fallout 76 once it finally finishes downloading, because I played the free weekend on Steam before and this is Microsoft, and...I think my character should just be on their servers but I don’t actually know hahahaha yeah that super didn’t work, maybe in a week when our billing cycle restarts I’ll try redownloading and reinstalling it, and anyway I did download and test a couple other Game Pass games

cancel my current SWTOR subscription so I’m not still paying for that while focusing on Game Pass games

play one of a few Flash games on my to-play list, if there’s something short

misc/housekeeping

check out my current backup situation and see how hard it would be to modify, I mean at some point I have got to set up an actual system but for some reason that’s intimidating so if what I currently have is at all usable, I should add to it

and then verify my drivers. I don’t know what’s wrong with my PC and I’m really not sure how to figure that out but since Memtest86 ran for three fucking hours and came back clear, it seems like this is the next major step in the troubleshooting process okay I actually didn’t do this but I did try some other things that also didn’t work

finish claiming all the Black Panther comics

a tiny bit of room cleaning? maybe?? I actually already did a very tiny bit, and this is something (one of...many things) I could do while on a call with friends, which is also in my plans

open a couple packages from one of said friends, which keen-eyed readers might note was in a to-do list ages ago oops

check Tumblr drafts

work on modifying or fixing some masks that currently aren’t working well

send an email that’s been on my to-do list for...a while

actually another email would be a good one too

keep trying to get Hazy to learn that letting people handle her paws results in good treats, so we can make an appointment for a Petco nail trim (and ideally clip them ourselves, sometimes)

ah fuck I still need to finish my will

creative

mildly edit the short fic I posted a few days ago, give it a title, and toss it on AO3

as always, some typing would be really really good

so would...some writing...

make some more potion bottles with, uh, random stuff I’ve collected on recent walks around the neighborhood (other potion bottles with other random ideas I’ve had wouldn’t be a bad idea either...and I would like to try one of the Youtube tutorials I found for making tiny hourglasses, but I guess that’s probably not a priority)

do a little reorganizing in my giant to-do lists for a) 1/6-scale projects and b) lyrics for titles

doing more research on parts for a 1/6 female Loki is really not urgent but...I might want to...and some things are on sale right now...

repair Tiny Loki’s tiny mask

rewrite my paper list of prioritized projects, which I needed to do anyway, but now I’ve also lost the original and that’s very annoying (also make a pocket for it in my notebook so this is less likely to happen again)

make designs for a few new Pride Cap shields, maybe? it really would not take long to make just a few, and now is when I should be adding stuff to Etsy if I have any hope of like...holiday sales

for that matter, now would be an extremely good time to at least start planning what kinds of holiday-specific things (and/or other new listings) I might be able to make in time to list them on Etsy

mental health

write up a post for the ADHD Reddit and maybe other related places

experiment with Notion and Airtable as organizational options

research some bullet-journal layouts to see if anything seems like it would work for me

in general, spend some time just kind of...brainstorming the type of system that would be useful for me in keeping my shit together, so I have a better idea of what I’m looking for (also probably helpful to list like...the big problems I’m trying to fix)

see if Penzu seems like a good option for a keeping-my-shit-together strategy I have in mind from my latest therapy session, and if not, do a little research on other journal-type possibilities

shopping I probably shouldn’t be doing

make a Michaels order tomorrow when both coupons will be active, because...there are some Halloween things that are somehow already sold out at the nearest store but I still want them...and they’re available at the store all the way across town...so...

possibly go to an estate sale benefiting the rescue group where we got Scully and Hazy, which is also all the way over on the other side of town but if I’m going over there anyway, I might as well

some stuff in my Etsy cart that I don’t want to miss

ditto eBay, I think mostly in my cart but also check watch list

AliExpress is also having some sales and yes there are more tiny things I want to buy for Loki’s arcane workshop, shut up (but also if I’m going to buy another Hot Toys body, this time for Thor, I gotta...take some measurements)

politics

call legislators

I really don’t know why I bother but I’ve found a bunch more articles recently that I’d like to throw on Facebook

for that matter at some point I’m probably just going to do a Facebook post like “hey, if you care about me at all, please consider voting Biden,” which also probably won’t make a difference but like...there’s a tiny chance it might

actually write those Sierra Club letters to voters that I meant to do like...two weeks ago...and maybe also some postcards, idk

maybe go to a thing Monday afternoon

also maybe just like...look through my links and folders to see who’s doing textbanking? like I don’t necessarily have to do any of it this weekend, just figure out what’s available?

........hmm this is all a terrible idea, probably, in part because my brain is looking at this absurdly long list and still going “oh shit, oh fuck, we’re forgetting something major aren’t we!!!”

[nev3rfound]

resonate : b.b

in a world after the blip, like many you find yourself in therapy. yet, you run into someone you never anticipated meeting. (4k - it’s long, i couldn’t stop but i hope you like it!!)

masterlist / permanent taglist / etsy shop - requests open!

requested: yes! by the lovely @interestedcas​ - thank you sm for the request angel :) (i’ve changed one or two details around, but i hope that’s okay!) warnings: mentions of depression, murder, being in therapy, angst but fluffy ending 

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website without being credited, it has not been approved to be shared by me. all rights reserved.)

It doesn’t matter how many times you visit, you still despise going to her office. The routine never changes; you walk into the lobby and sign in, scribbling an attempted signature before entering the elevator.

Four floors up, you exit and simply wait on the sunken grey sofa. The magazines are out of date- from before everything happened. No one ever talks to one another, too lost in their own thoughts whilst your head remains too empty.

And then something changes. You can hear her door opening and a heavy sigh from someone exiting. “James,” She calls after the person emerging from her office who keeps his head low.

You can’t help but watch the spectacle before you, clad in leather and dark jeans, his face shielded from your view as he passes you by.

Doctor Raynor stands in the waiting room with her hands on her hips, notepad in hand as she mutters something under her breath.

“Hey, Doc.” You wave, breaking her deep thought as she looks over to you with that set frown across her lips.

“Y/n,” Doctor Raynor walks toward you, lowering her notebook into her pocket. “sorry for the wait, come on through.”

Rising to your feet, you follow behind her as you walk through the bleak corridors lined with framed photos of brighter scenes; couples on a beach during sunset, animals on a farm and your personal favourite- fireworks in New York City.

“So,” Closing the door, Raynor takes her seat opposite you, observing you as you lean back on the large couch. “how are you doing this week, Y/n?”

“Fine, I guess.” Shrugging your shoulders is an automatic response to those words. Yet, it’s never enough to keep Raynor happy as she opens her notebook. “You really have something to write already, after one sentence?” You remark, tutting under your breath as you look around the room whilst she scribbles on her pages.

“You know the whole purpose of coming here is to talk.” She comments, now looking up at you. “Let’s try again, shall we? How are you doing this week?”

Fighting the urge to roll your eyes, you stare blankly back at her. “Why’d your last patient storm out like that?” Avoiding her question, you can see her jaw clenching as she leans back in the armchair. “Guess someone else was having a bad day, huh?” You chuckle dryly, and to your surprise, she nods along.

“Everyone has bad days,” She remarks. “some worse than others.”

“Tell me ‘bout it.” You respond, bringing your legs up as you sit cross-legged and hug the nearest cushion into your lap. “I, I had another nightmare,” You admit, trying to ignore the sound of her pen against paper. “it wasn’t as graphic, or, violent.”

“What happened this time?” Doctor Raynor asks, averting her attention from her notebook as you bite your lower lip, unaware of how hard you’re biting down until you feel blood against your tongue. “Y/n?” Snapping her fingers, you emerge from your thoughts and wipe your lip, ignoring the crimson on your fingertips.

“I just saw them, lying there whilst the building was burning.” You try to ignore the sound of cries, distant sirens and pleas for help in the back of your mind. “But there wasn’t any blood, they were just lying there like they were fine, just, sleeping.”

“And why do you think that is?” Raynor taps her pen repetitively.

“Is there a reason? Some sort of coping mechanism or mental response?” You ask, turning it back on her as she purses her lips, contemplating her response.

“It can be perceived as you purifying them,” She suggests. “trying to see them as innocent.”

“But they weren’t.” You quickly comment. “No one was during that time.”

“What about yourself?” Raynor questions and you scoff loudly.

“Course I wasn’t innocent during that, I mean,” You motion to the room you’re currently in. “I’m here, aren’t I?” You laugh, feeling your nails digging into the cushion on your lap.

“Listen, Y/n, you have to break through this. Have you tried writing down about these nightmares after they happen?” You nod and Doctor Raynor shuffles in her seat, now resting her arms against her legs. “How about you get some fresh air? Have you tried contacting anyone you lost touch with since the blip?”

“They don’t know who I am anymore.” You mutter.

“Get a grip, Y/n. You’re not the lead in a rom-com.” Raynor sighs.

“You’re kinda mean, you know that, right?” You snap back, and she simply holds her hands up in defence. “I’ll try again this week, maybe I’ll meet a nice guy at a coffee shop.” The sarcasm rolls off your tongue as you stand up. “This was fun, Doc,” You flash a smile, ignoring the abrupt closing of her notebook.

“Y/n,” Doctor Raynor drags your name out as you reach the door.

“Can’t wait for next week!” You wave slowly whilst your back faces the door, unaware of the strong wall you collide against. “Oof.” A noise escapes your lips as you quickly turn around.

Forcing your gaze upwards, you recognise the unapologetic stoic expression from anywhere. He was listed amongst those lost in the blip, one of the fallen Avengers.

Yet, standing before you he seems softer. His eyes remain locked on you despite Doctor Raynor nearing you both.

“James, decided to try our session again?” Doctor Raynor comments, and you break your focus from the former soldier.

“I’ll see you next week, Doc.” Your tone softens as you slip past Bucky and quickly walk down the corridor, unaware of his eyes following you, wishing he at least introduced himself.

“You can try again next week, James. She'll be back.” Doctor Raynor pulls the door further open, and with his head hanging low, Bucky nods to himself before taking up your seat.

*

Screaming yourself awake, you heave a breath as you clutch your chest, trying to focus on controlling your heart rate.

Tears stream down your cheeks uncontrollably. “Y/n?” Your roommate calls out, knocking lightly on your door. “Can I come in?” She asks quietly, peering through the door to see you sat upright with one hand covering your mouth whilst the other grips the bedsheets. “Oh, babe.” She hums, walking over and sits beside you.

The two of you sit in silence for a while, allowing you time to process what just happened, the sight of their body beneath your feet, your hands coated in crimson as the flames roared through the windows, shattering in an instant. “Why is it we can never remember dreams, but we always remember our nightmares?” You think aloud into the darkness, glancing over to see it was only 1 in the morning.

“I, I don’t know.” She mutters. “Can I get you anything?”

Shaking your head, your roommate rises to her feet. “I think I’m going to get some fresh air.” You state, tearing the covers from your body as you grab your jacket, slipping it on over your pyjamas.

“Y/n, I love you but it’s 1am. It’s not exactly safe to go out.” She crosses her arms over her chest, ignoring you shrugging your shoulders in response. “At least let me come with you.”

“It’s fine, really.” You object, walking towards the front door knowing you've experienced a lot worse during the blip whilst she was absent, one of the missing. “I’ve got my phone, I’ll be back in a bit.”

Before she can say anything else, you walk out and close the door quietly behind you, craving solitude from the one place you’ll know you can get it.

Feeling the cool chill of Autumn creeping in, you tug your jacket further across your chest and bury your hands into the deep pockets. You fiddle with the remanents of tissue in the left pocket, picking it apart to suppress the memories of the nightmare that begin to plague your thoughts once more.

Your feet lead the way whilst your mind remains preoccupied, unaware of the dewy grass beneath your sneakers and the quiet conversations occurring across the park.

Sitting down, you can feel the coolness dampening your trousers, but you’re too lost to care; and seemingly too oblivious to notice the man approaching you with a deep-set frown.

“It’s not exactly wise to be out alone this late you know.” He tells you, standing a few feet away from you whilst your eyes remain locked on the trampled dandelion in front of your scuffed sneakers. “Is everything okay?”

You force yourself to nod. “Yeah, thanks.” You mutter, hearing him shuffle closer until he’s sat by your side, allowing a gap between you both as he sighs loudly. “Why’re you sitting with me? There’s an entire park for you to enjoy.” You remark, now glancing over to the stranger who notices you tense. “You’re,”

He simply nods. “Yeah.” Bucky lowers his head, knowing you’d recognise him for that reason, of course, that’s all he’s known for.

“You’re the guy from Raynor's office, right?” You finish, and Bucky lifts his head up, a genuine small smile crossing his lips as he nods.

“Yeah.” His voice is softer now, his heart rising in his chest. “I’m James.” He holds his gloved hand out, and you accept it.

“Y/n.” You shake it before hiding your hand once more into your pocket. “So, what’s wrong with you then?” You chuckle dryly. “Traumatic childhood? Oh, how about PTSD?”

Bucky shakes his head. “Something like that.” He remarks, looking up at the stars pinpricked in the sky. “So why’re you out here then?”

“I could ask you the same,” You retort, glancing over to focus on him, having only briefly noticed him the other day at the bleak office. Yet here, he seems calm, his expression is relaxed as opposed to stoic, you could even say he seems happy at a stretch. “but I won’t, ‘cause I’m not Raynor.”

“Coulda fooled me.” Bucky jokes with ease as he hears you laugh quietly. “The pyjamas really add to it I’ll admit.” He glances down, quickly noticing you rolling your eyes, but there’s only humour lining your expression, no sign of disgust.

“I, I couldn’t sleep.” You speak up, bringing your legs to your chest as you wrap your arms around them, keeping them in place. “Nightmares, you know?”

Nodding knowingly, Bucky turns his attention to the homeless man curled up on the bench, a knife catching his gaze.

“Do you wanna go for a walk? I know from experience that usually helps me clear my head.” Bucky suggests, rising to his feet as he holds his gloved hand out for you.

“And why would I do such a thing? I barely know you, James.” You remind him, looking up at his hand before lifting your eyes up to meet his.

“True,” He hums, secretly relieved that you don’t know him. “at least let me walk you home?”

Hearing the homeless man beginning to stir and muttering nonsense, you sigh before taking Bucky’s hand as he pulls you up with ease. You almost fall into his chest, but you force your hand out to rest on his shoulder to stop yourself.

“Sorry,” You mutter, focusing on how your shoes are almost touching his.

Breathing out a laugh in your hair, Bucky shrugs his shoulder. “No worries, doll.” It slips out too easily, but you don’t seem to notice as you walk alongside Bucky.

The two of you walk through the streets in comfortable silence. For once, you don’t feel obliged to talk through the short walk, that you have to somehow convince him that you’re feeling fine; because he knows how it feels.

You can mentally list over one hundred questions you could potentially ask him about his past, about the 40′s and who he once was. But you know it isn’t fair to delve into someone else’s memories, invade into something he might not fully remember. So tonight, he remains as James from Doctor Raynor's office, and you’re content with just that.

“Well, this is me.” You motion to the front door of the small apartment building, noticing your lamp is still on in your room. “Thanks again for walking me back, James.”

“Anytime.” Bucky smiles. “I guess I’ll erm,” He stumbles over his words, internally screaming at himself to just ask for your number or to take you out for coffee sometime. “I’ll see you around.” He nods, unable to form the words he wishes he could say. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” You smile before opening the front door, disappearing out of sight as Bucky turns on his heels, about to force himself to ask for your number.

“Next time, Buck.” He mutters to himself, knowing Raynor will give him shit for not trying hard enough when he next visits her.

*

“-stupid fucking elevator!” You groan loudly as the doors finally open and you stumble out, oblivious to Bucky exiting Raynor's office and standing in the waiting room, hearing you coming his way.

Looking around, Bucky shuffles the outdated magazines and takes a seat. He tugs on his trousers and his jacket, wishing he wore something different this morning if he knew you’d be coming today.

As you turn the corner, the anxieties slowly ease when Bucky smiles your way. “Morning.” Bucky waves, trying to hide how fast his heart is beating in his chest as you walk toward him apprehensively.

“Didn’t expect to see you here.” You state, looking at the options before you as the waiting room remains empty beside the two of you.

Yet, before you can fully run through your options on where would be best to sit, Bucky moves along on the grey sofa, allowing you room to sit beside him.

“I just, er, finished.” He mutters, unsure where to focus.

“And you decided to hang out at the happiest place on Earth for the sake of it?” You raise a brow to him.

“I was leaving, but then I heard you.” Bucky mentally applauds himself, knowing Sam would be proud once he tells him. “Not to sound creepy or anything,” He quickly adds, but you’re laughing to yourself, shaking your head happily.

“Not creepy at all, James.” You assure him, giving him a playful nudge of his arm. “So, solve any deep routed trauma today?” You joke with ease, something Bucky is secretly thankful for.

Usually, in the waiting room, there’s a man in his fifties who shakes with nerves. He’s never met Bucky’s gaze once, refuses to.

“Gettin’ there.” Bucky tells you, now turning his body toward yours as he rests his arm over the couch. “Listen, Y/n,” He starts, only to be cut off by the sound of the door opening and Doctor Raynor presenting herself.

“James? You’re still here?” The Doctor questions, clearly surprised until her eyes pan over to see you sat beside him. “Hi Y/n, come on through.” She motions and you stand up.

“Wish me luck.” You wink to Bucky, oblivious to the near heart palpitations you cause as the door closes behind you.

Averting his attention to the dusty clock, Bucky contemplates his next move. He could leave now, and simply hope he’ll see you again next time he visits. Or, he could wait for you. You could only be an hour at the most, and it isn’t Wednesday so Yori isn’t anticipating a lunch trip either.

So, Bucky leant back on the sofa, closing his eyes to stop himself from homing in on the conversation on the other side of that door.

“Well, I’ve got to say, you seem happier today.” Raynor remarks.

“I guess I am.” You honestly answer, not forcing your self-defence shield up before your eyes for the first time in a while. “I, I’ve not had a nightmare in three days.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

You breathe out a sigh. “Relieved? But I don’t know like I’ve gotten so used to reliving it, and everything that happened and now not seeing it feels,” You pause as you grab a hold of the cushion beside you. “alien.”

“That’s perfectly normal, Y/n.” Raynor assures you. “Simple things such as distractions can often cause nightmares to diminish, or perhaps new people in your lives who cause a positive influence.” She trails off, turning her head toward the closed door; motioning to the man sat in the waiting room.

“James?” You scoff lightly, trying to brush it off. However, Doctor Raynor notices you shift as you pick up the cushion, relaxing it on your lap. “No, he’s, I barely know him.” You tell her, hearing her hum in response.

“Do you know about him, though?” Raynor questions, watching as you nod slowly.

“Of course I do,” You say sadly. “I remember the news broadcasts and when the blip happened, him being among those lost.” You explain, fiddling with the hem of the cushion as a distraction.

Outside the room, Bucky can feel his heart sink. You know who he is, and what he’s done. How could he think someone like you could trust him, get to know him after his past?

“He’s changing though,” The words leave your lips quickly, and Bucky tilts his head up toward the door once more. “I, I don’t know how to explain it, but he seems like a good guy.”

Scribbling in her notepad, Doctor Raynor nods along. “I can’t comment due to patient confidentiality, Y/n.” She shrugs, looking past you and up toward the small camera hidden in the ceiling light. “But, I will say he’s mentioned you.”

A gentle laugh leaves your lips as you raise a brow. “So much for confidentiality there, Doc.” Pausing, you think back to the other night when he found you in the park and walked you home. He didn’t say much, but then again he didn’t need to. His company alone was warm, and it was since that night your nightmares stopped.

“What’re you thinking, Y/n?” Raynor tilts her head, trying to gauge your current thought process.

Glancing up, you stare blankly back at her. “What if my nightmares come back?” You sadly ask. “What if them stopping was just a temporary fix? I, I don’t want to see it anymore, I don’t want to wake up thinking my hands are coated in their blood.” Tears build up in your eyes for the first time in days, threatening to spill over like your misconstrued thoughts.

“Have you practised any of your coping methods since I last saw you?”

You pause, looking up as tears fall from your eyes. “Yeah,” You breathe out. “I went to the park, the one down the street.” You slowly explain, your ears perking up at the familiar sound of her pen against paper. “And, and James was there.”

“So, since that night, you haven’t?” Doctor Raynor trails off at the motion of your head shaking. “Alright,” She closes her notebook over and places it on the floor beside her. “Y/n, I want you to go out there, talk to James and ask him out or something.”

“I, I can’t do that.” Tensing up, you tighten your grip on the cushion that previously remained relaxed against your lap. “That’s just dumb.” You defend yourself, ignoring your heart that’s been thinking about the man since that night.

“Dumb or not, it’s worth a try.” Raynor leans back, crossing her arms having listened to an identical conversation with Bucky just over an hour before.

“Is that it then?” You ask.

“Until you have something else to tell me,” Doctor Raynor rises to her feet as she approaches the door whilst you remain seated, apprehensive to face James whenever you’ll next see him.

“Am I just meant to find him somehow?” You quietly ask in the Doctors direction, hearing the door creep open.

Unaware of the small smile crossing her lips, she glances back at you. “I’m sure you will, Y/n.” She comments, returning to her seat whilst you head to the door, slipping out without any further discussion.

Yet, as you glance up, you freeze.

“James?” Utterly perplexed, Bucky half-heartedly waves to you. “I, why’re you still here?” You step forward, only to witness Bucky stepping backwards.

“You know who I am?” Sadness drips from his words as he struggles to meet your gaze.

“James,” You speak up, but Bucky shakes his head before he brushes past you, heading toward the elevator.

Remaining glued to the spot you’re standing in, you simply watch the elevator doors open as Bucky slips inside.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Doctor Raynor sighs loudly, standing in the doorway. “Go!” Watching you walk away, a smile ghosts her lips as she reflects on the pair of you, both lost souls so close to finding a home.

Without needing to be told twice, your feet suddenly move with ease. You’re running through the bleak corridors, seeing blurs of colour crossing your peripheral vision as you reach the stairwell.

“Stupid.” Bucky mutters to himself. How could he have gotten his hopes up?

Exiting the building, Bucky takes the left turn and walks down the street, burying his gloved hands in his pockets.

“James!” You yell, puffing heavily as you slam the office doors open, looking around for any sign of him.

Upon hearing you call his name, Bucky pauses and dares to look over his shoulder to see you wiping your face. “Fuck.” You mutter, burying your face in your hands, only flinching and moving when a hand rests on your shoulder.

Looking up, those sweet blue eyes home in on yours. “Wanna go to the park?” Bucky calmly suggests, relieved when you nod and walk alongside him in silence, the only sound between you both being you sniffing and the hammering of his heart against his chest.

As the pair of you reach the large metal gate, Bucky allows you to walk ahead whilst he holds it open. Usually, you might have a joke or suave comment to make, but today you mutter a thank you before he returns to your side.

“James,”

“Y/n,”

You both pause, interrupting one another as you stop in the middle of the pathway, ignoring the laughter of children around you playing happily.

“I’m sorry,” You start the conversation whilst he remains quiet by your side. “I didn’t want to say anything or bring it up as I know what it’s like to be known by your past actions.” Furrowing your brows, you try to ignore the child screaming and crying ahead of you, watching their Mother pick them up and cradle them close in her arms.

Bucky follows your line of vision, seeing the Mother sway side to side as her child’s cries begin to subside.

“I just wanted to get to know you.” Whispering the sentence you can’t help but close your eyes as it simply hangs in front of him, unsure whether to accept or decline. “And if you don’t that’s perfectly fine, I’ll just walk back that way and, and you can go that way.” Opening your eyes, you point in two differing directions.

And to your surprise, Bucky breathes out a laugh at your crossed arms. “I, I’d like to get to know you too, Y/n.” He smiles, mentally repeating everything he’s talked about with Doctor Raynor. “I’m no longer the Winter Soldier, my name is James Barnes.” He mutters to himself, aware of your eyes on him as you kick some stones beneath your feet, scuffing the white of your sneakers.

“I’m not a killer anymore. I’m not a monster, nor an agent.” You breathe out, listening to Bucky shifting beside you. “I’m just me,” Looking up, you shyly smile at him as he mirrors your reaction. “just Y/n.”

Holding his hand out, you notice his glove is gone. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/n.”

With brief hesitancy, you accept his hand, revelling in the warmth as it weaves through your skin, causing goosebumps to ignite. “It’s lovely to meet you too, James.”

Lowering your hand, you don’t notice that it still remains in his as you both walk through the park. There’s a lot to be uncovered from you both, but maybe, just maybe doing it together won’t be so bad.

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[handmadecp]

Dopp Kit Bag: Finished...finally.

Hi guys, as promised here’s the other little project I was doing recently, unfortunately I had to wait quite some time for delivery of some items to finish it, all covid related problems with the couriers, but we got there at last..with a funny ( if slightly annoying ) lesson learned. So..lets get on.

I wanted some high quality leather so purchased a half shoulder from ‘BuyLeatheronline’ (Tuscany, Italy.).I got a small piece for now because of Cost, and Brexit negotiations...or lack of at the moment. I mention it only incase anyone in the UK is thinking of buying their first piece from abroad and you are not aware that the value of something you buy from abroad needs to be no more than a certain amount or else you will incurr customs charges. check it out first. I bought a lovely factory dyed ‘Black’ veg tanned shoulder 1.5 - 2mm thick which I find is a nice thickness for bags and book covers etc. Then I purchased the pattern from ‘Dieselpunkro (Spain) who make great patterns at reasonable prices and you can buy them on PDF download.

Pic 1 : Taping.

Pic 1 and Pic 1A : After printing off the Pattern you’ll need to tape some of the pieces together to make the ‘whole’ of certain pieces as I’m seen doing here. I use Decoraters Tape as it doesn’t mark the leather when peeled off, the only down side it that sometimes it doesn’t stick very well and can ‘slip’ when attached to the leather that you want to cut out and it’s a C*w to line up again so a little easy tip..once it’s all stuck..take a small piece of tape and wrap it over the edges here and there to help it stay in position.

Pic 2 : Here you seehow the patterns should be looking when done correctly.

Pic 3 : Then it’s time to cut the pattern pieces out

Pic 4 : Be careful to cut along the black lines rather than outside of or inside of.

Pic 5 :make sure you have good lighting..I turned my bench light on just after this pic was taken, I have a light behind me and one in front , that helps to cancel ‘some’ of the shadows created helping you to see the lines better...especially if you wear glasses when ‘staring’ can make your eyes ‘wobble’ just when you are cutting an important bit. ( Yeah...I said ‘eye wobble’...it’s a real thing.....it is hahahaha )

Pic 6 : So just keep cutting until all the patterns are cut out and have all of the required holes punched. I used a round punch 1-1.5mm I find it makes a hole big enough to pass two needles across each other but small enough to close with a hammer tap when done to make a neat finish.

Pic 7 :

Pic 8 :

Pic 9 : You see here how I’ve taped it down to the leather to transfer the patter to it, at this point the tape was holding so I just ‘cracked on’ with it but if you think it’s going to come loose...put small pieces over the edges to hold it in position. Here I’m punching holes with my stitch awl as I was waiting on the delivery that had my smaller round punch in it, this did the job but was a lot slower.

Pic 10 : Lay the patterns on the leather as seen here.

Pic 11 : stick it down. another good thing about decorators tape it that you can see the hole marks through it.

Pic 12 : If you don’t have any patience..pick another hobby, there are hundreds of holes to punch and it takes time and you should line the punch up with each hole mark carefully, the better you do here the straighter yours titching will be later, ( however..you are going to ‘wobble’ from time to time..it is Handmade after all, but try not to at least. You can use a stitch punch as long as the teeth gaps are the same measurements as the holes on the patterns or else it won’t line up.

Pic 13 :  Then carefull cut out the middle  hole for the Zipper, I do find that the zips only barely sit on the edge when glued so unless you can find really wide zippers try to cut the hole a bit narrower than the pattern, I found it helped.

Pic 14 : Cutting out the zipper hole.

Pic 15 : Using the stitch awl to make the holes a bit wider. ( This issue was resolved once my new punch arrived as it made the hole in one shot. )

Pic 16 :same process to transfer the smaller sections, be careful if there are two of something that you don’t cut two ‘right or left pieces’ ( yup, done that too )

Pic 17 : We now have all the pieces cut from leather and all the holes punched, time to build it.

Pic 18 : The zippers finally arrived, I decided on a double zip for this one but it’s your project so your choice, they fit as easily as any other zips.

Pic 19 : I layed a line of 528 contact cement to fix the zipper in place ready for stitching. The 528 is really good..so good that if you use it as instructed..once it touches it is a sure bet it’s not coming apart, so until you are confident I’d choose a glue with a longer setting time incase you need to adjust position.

Pic 20 : Next I used a saddle stitch to attach it more permanently.

Pic 21 : I usually use a Stitch horse but this thing flopped around too much so had to do this ‘Old School’. So many projects on the go all at the same time.

Pic 22: Nearly there, takes a while so you need a lot of patience.

Pic 23 : Done.

Pic 24 : I bent the zipper section back on itself as shown and used a clip to hold in place whilst I stitched it

Pic 25 : other view.

Pic 26 : attaching the outer ‘skirt’ that the actual side piece will later be attached to, here I’m just aligning the holes to mark them where I need them. The actual mis-alignement came later.

Pic 26A : a closer look at a ‘skirt’ being attached.

Pic 27 : close up. You can also see here the strap section which has been riveted to the side piece ..at one end using silver double cap rivets. I always use double cap unless the back will be hidden from view, It’s a personal thing I just think it looks better ir when you look inside the rivets look as good as on the outside. Again..if you are making one yourself, it’s your choice.

Pic 28 Here’s a view of the side section that I’m about to attach.

Pic 29 : You can see I am using the stitch awl as well as the clip to keep the holes lined up...or so I thought.

Pic 30 : Saddle stitched all the way round.

Pic 31 :  First side on now side two, a repeat of the same.

Pic 32 : almost there, if you are thinking of trying some leather craft for the first time, be warned, the thread can cut right into your hand after a few hours, at the very least your fingers will be sore, you never see it on my pics but I ususally have plasters everywhere just to prevent it, after almost six years I have grown more used to it but it can still get sore after a few hundred stitches.

Pic 33 :  Oops. it looks like I took my eye off the ball and mis-aligned a couple of holes at the beginning causing a twist in the body as seen here, nothing else for it but to carefully pick the stitches and re do it being a bit more precise. As I said earlier..an annoying Lesson but a good reminder to check twice before stitching. But..these things happen and even after a few hours of stitching it can go wrong. If you can take it as a lesson and just move ahead...go for it, because it’s going to happen at some point.

Pic 34 : It’s all feeling a bit ‘De ja vous’ at this point as I begin to correct the mistake.

Pic 34A : After unpicking the whole side and skirt, I first did the skirt again and then I realigned the side using half tooth picks to go around the edge and kept doing this until it aligned perfectly and ‘sat’ nice and flat. Then I started the stitching all over again. Lesson learned.

Pic 35 : from another angle.

Pic 36: continuing the stitch but being careful that each hole I marked after aligning meets up exactly as before.

Pic 37 : using the clip until it’s got enough stitch to hold it in place the rest of the way.

Pic 38  Anotherangle as I proceeded to adjust.:

Pic 39 : Almost there. ( Thank god hahahaha )

Pic 40 : And Voila..all straightened out, no more twist and looking the complete business. A beautiful Handmade Dopp kit bag. But I guess it can be used for many things. I’ll sell this on to someone that will appreciate the hard work that went into it and who also appreciates real 100% Leather goods. This can be found on my Etsy shop as from tomorrow. ( Please understand if any of my projects are not on Etsy when you look, it may be that they have been sold already and that this post has aged a bit.) Well guys I hope this has inspired some of you to give it a go yourself, this particular project is a little more advanced, I wouldn’t recommend a beginner to try this as this Leather is expensive and shouldn’t really be used to ‘learn’ on. But if you bought a cheaper quality leather to practice on then I guess you could make this..if you take it slow and follow Dieselpunkro’s instructional video which can be found on their website by the same name. Thanks for following my little projects I appreciate it, please tell your friends. There will be more projects to come this year, so as always, Watch this space ‘Stay Crafty’ and Stay safe everyone.

[everyonesonthespectrum]

30 days of Autism Acceptance: Day 3!

April 3: Talk about special interests. Do you have any? What are they? How long have you had them? What does it feel like to have special interests? What does having special interests mean to you? Talk about your past special interests

HOO BOY! Ok, I’ll try not to go on too long about my special interests, but I have a lot to say about them! Also, some of my special interests are in this weird grey area of “are they a SpIn or a hyperfixation?”, so I’ll cover those as well, and make it noted when that’s the case for one. Also, this will be VERY LONG, so I’ll put it under a cut.

SpIn #1 - Pokemon

Pokemon has been my main special interest since I was 9, I believe! Black was my first game that I got for my birthday, and I was super happy to get it since all of my friends at the time would talk about it! I’ve gotten (almost?) every major release since then, thought I usually only get one out of the two versions. 

The Pokemon games that I have are *inhales*: Black, Black 2, HeartGold (got a few years after it came out), X (I have the limited edition 3DS), Alpha Sapphire, Moon (first completed Pokedex!), Ultra Moon (haven’t beat and probably never will), Let’s Go, Eevee!, Sword (still trying to beat), Conquest, Art Academy, PMD: Gates to Infinity, Picross, Rumble World, Battle Trozei, Pokemon Quest, Pokemon Playhouse (for when I’m regressed), Poke Park 1 & 2,  My Pokemon Ranch, and Battle Revolution!

I also used to play the TCG competitively, and in my first competition, I placed 9th in my division! I stopped playing about a year after that though because the cards I used in my strategy when I would practice with my Dad were too old to be viable.

I have a growing stuffie and merch collection as well! I have a lot of Unova stuffies, and a print of the Unova map that I got at a ren faire when I was younger (it currently hangs above my dresser)! My two favorite stuffies at this time are Baby my Eevee Build-A-Bear (named after my Eevee in Let’s Go, Eevee!), and Lily my Wooloo! I have a couple of Pokemon sketch cards that friends of my Dad’s drew, and some prints and figure-y things I’ve gotten in Artist Alleys over the years!

I also own a couple of different Pokemon books (not the manga, though), and 2 of the movies, along with the OSTs for B/W, X/Y, and ORAS! I don’t have much as far as clothing goes though, except for my “Gotta Catch ‘Em All” scarf and a Pikachu hat I got at an old anime store at the mall that has since closed. That’s probably all I can remember right now!

SpIn #2 - Steam Powered Giraffe

SPG has been a special interest for about 4 years now? Anyway, they’re my #1 favorite band and have literally saved my life. Watching Bunny Bennett’s (who plays Rabbit) vlogs about her transition, along with listening to the song Transform that she wrote (waaay before they just made it a single) really helped me accept myself and come out. 

They also came at a time where I was struggling emotionally a lot, and I remember being stuck in the ER hooked up to an IV, and my mom played some of their albums for me to keep me calm and grounded. More recently, I saw them perform at Anime Midwest last year, and when they performed Transform (which neither me or my friends expected), we were all hugging each other and crying tears of joy (my friends are trans as well, and have also been touched by Bunny’s vlogs).

Their songs (not including the sad ones) make me really happy as well, and Make Believe makes me stim a lot in particular! I also got to sing Honeybee as part of a voice coaching summer camp I took last year, and it felt really good to do it! I really recommend listening to them, especially if you like steampunk and/or you’re looking for trans artists to support!

SpIn #3 - Little Shop of Horrors

So this is more of a fairly recent one, compared to the first two. This special interest mostly applies to the 1986 movie, but I’ve seen the stage musical as well! The music, the cast, the plot, it’s all *chef’s kiss*. But for real though, my two favorite things about the movie are the practical effects and the endings.

With the CGI fresh hell we got with CATS, you may thing, “wow, special effects were so much better back then”. Except here’s the thing, they were practical effects. Audrey II is (I believe) entirely puppetry, not CGI. The same applies for the musical as well! It really culminated at the end of the film during “Mean Green Mother from Outer Space”, when Audrey II is at it’s biggest and most elaborate. Speaking of that scene, I much prefer the director’s cut over the theatrical cut. I know that the happy ending is much better for Audrey and Seymour, but “Don’t Feed The Plants” is an absolute banger, and I get a good cry out of it too.

I heard they might be making a remake of the movie, which I’m hesitant about, again, seeing how CATS turned out. We can only hope that they listen to the fans, and make the right decisions when it comes to making it.

SpIn #4 - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

Ok, so this is one of those aformentioned “is it a SpIn or a hyperfixation” moments. I’ve been hyperfixated on JJBA for the past 6 months and I’m physically unable to shut up about it XD

I’m about to start watching part 4 of the anime, I just need to set aside time to do it. I watched it a tad out of order, my ex told me to skip part 1 and watch a synopsis of it, so I started with part 2 (I’m a huge part 2 stan btw), got to part 3, was confused by everything going on with DIO, so I went back, watched part 1, and then resumed part 3.

As I mentioned, I’m a huge part 2 stan, so I currently have several part 2 character cosplays in the works. This includes (but isn’t limited to) Caesar, Suzi Q, Playboy Bunny Caesar (inspired by a piece of art that @tinypalettes drew), Tequila Joseph (but like,, actually decent drag), and Cleric Suzi Q from the JJBA D&D session me and my friends are having. I also want to do a drag/latex DIO look, along with maid DIO inspired by an old JUMP cover and a fanfic I read the other day.

I get a little nervous about doing/going to JJBA events at conventions because I’m worried about running into my ex, but knowing that I have supportive people with me helps a lot.

SpIn #5 - Homestuck/Hiveswap

So this is another one of those “SpIn or hyperfixation” moments as well. I’ve been into Homestuck since late 2016, but I’ve never been super involved in the fandom. Like, yes, I have a moirail and I’ve been in and hosted panels at conventions, but I’ve encountered some toxic people in it, so I try to distance myself.

I will say, however, that Homestucks are loyal to their fandom, and will buy merch if they like it. When I say that, yes, I mean myself, but it’s mostly about my Etsy customers. If you look at my sales history, the majority of it is quadrant necklaces, almost always the moirail ones. I get some orders for horns and pillows too, but not as often as the necklaces. When it comes to exhibiting at conventions, it depends. I normally don’t put Homestuck stuff out on the table because it’s such a niche, but when I do, people will usually buy a lot at once. For example, at Wizard World Madison in 2018, one guy bought $50-60 worth of Homestuck sprites from me. That weekend was the best I’ve ever done, and I haven’t come close since. My Etsy store started out as just me making Homestuck sprites for me and my friends too, so I’m glad that I was able to expand and give others what I like as well.

I’m also involved in a Hiveswap YouTube musical, and I’ve made a lot of good friends through it! We’re on hiatus right now, but we should be starting up again soon! I also have a lot of Homestuck cosplays! I’ve done Karkat, John, Jade, Nepeta, Trickster Nepeta, Karkat Peixes (a bloodswap), and I have a lot more that I want to do!

SpIn #6 - Danganronpa

So Danganronpa is (probably) one of those last “SpIn or hyperfixation” things. I’ve been into Danganronpa since 2018 (I think?), and DR:AE is my favorite (mostly because I’m a Kotoko and Toko kinnie oof-)!

Right now, my only Danganronpa cosplay is Toko/Syo, but I’m working on a couple of j-fashion (particularly menhera and fairy kei) inspired looks to do with my moirail (who was the one who got me into j-fashion), and just some Amazon/eBay cosplays as well! I’m also working on a Future Foundation Toko cosplay to do with my moirail so we can do Tokomaru together (though most of it is thrifting and clothes I already have)!

I own DR1, SDR2, and DR:AE on my computer, but I don’t play them much. The second trial in DR1 gives me panic attacks because of the whole breaking of trust thing (I’ve heard the audios and I just,,, break down), I haven’t touched SDR2 yet, and I’m sucky at the controls for DR:AE. However, I’ve watched the anime and I’ve seen let’s plays, so I have a feel for what’s going on, though I may not remember it all correctly since I haven’t watched them in a while.

———————————–

So that’s most (if not all) of my special interests! I probably forgot some, but it’s getting late and I need to pack for my Mom’s and go to bed. I hope you all have a good night!

[artsyhamsterdraws]

My first Artist alley experience

So I did it. I survived! Can I get a wahoo yeehaw boiiiiii

*cough*

Anyway I wanted to write a "lil" thing about it all, like how it went, what I learned and shit like that. So here we go~

The convention I've been going to for a while now (3 times if you count this one) is called Närcon summer, and it's a "bit of everything" convention in Linköping (sweden) that happens every summer, but they also have one in the winter and fall as well, tho I've never been to those. (I want to try and get to Närcon Winter this time if it's possible).

It's pretty big. Apparently this year they got about 12.500 visitors over the weekend, so I got to meet a lot of people!

So, how was it?

Well if I wanna be short and straight to the point, it was amazing. I had so much fun and I can't wait to return!

Long answer? Well this one will go through the whole experience from start to finish. So buckle up kiddos this might get boring.

So for me it started even before the convention opened it's gates. During it I had decided to try and sell sketchbook commissions for 50 sek (like 5 bucks), because (1): It meant I would have something to do and wouldn't just have to sit at my table and stare off into space, and (2): Seemed fun.

I then decided to try and start selling them before the convention started, so that some people could come and pick them up day 1 if they wanted to. This worked, way better than expected. In the end I had 5 drawings to make before I even got there.

Here also comes the first thing I learned!

If you sell it for cheap, some people will tip you once they see the final result!

Not everyone paid extra, but I had a couple do it and that seriously almost brought tears to my eyes :')

I had reasons for selling them for so little, but I know that it was way too cheap considering the amount of time I put into each of those drawings. I just felt that; since basically no one knows who I am and this is my first time having a table, this would be a good way to get my name and work out there.

I mean, it did work since I sold 13 of them in total? Over 3 days? (I've never drawn that many things in such a short amount of time ever before).

At first I thought I wouldn't be able to sell more commissions once I got there since I already had 5 of them to do (3 of which I managed to finish before I got there). But apparently I can be fast if I need to? Suddenly they were all just...done and I opened up the commissions again!

Here are a couple of them that I remembered to take pics of:

It was a mix of fanart, original things and OC´s! Some of them I actually wanna make digital versions of cause I think they would look cool...

Once I got there I had to face one of my fears...my neighbors...  I had no idea what so ever who I would be seated with so I was afraid these upcoming 3 days would be filled with awkward silence and avoiding eyecontact. BUT! And that's a huge but (hehe)! They were great. Literally first second I met them I was like "yeah this is going to be fine".

We had so much fun, and once it got late we would sing Abba songs, and today I feel sorry for the people that had to listen to us... :P

I hope to meet them again next närcon, but the gods probably won't put us as neighbors again. They're probable mad at us for the Abba thing...

Oh and, they're both very talented and y'all should check them out! Here are their instagrams!

Literalpleb Apeachiations

Both had a bunch of fire emblem stuff, and apeachiations had some real pretty steven universe prints I wish I could buy but I don't watch steven universe so :(

Oh and I was given amazing gifts from them!

Then I bought these 2 key..chains...rings...I can't remember the english word....

Anyway I saw the Kirby one and knew I had to get it, and then I was talked into gettin the other one (I love it and wanted it don't get me wrong. It's a joke). I have yet to play the new fire emblem because my pre-order is back home and I'm at my parents place for another couple of weeks so :(

(I bought stuff from other people as well but I'll show that at the end!)

------

Setting up the table was fun! I decided to bring my bookmarks and a couple of prints, + like 8 stickers of my hamster logo. I gave 2 of them away tho to my neighbors .

Oh and I put one of my cosplay rifles on the table as well because I decided it would be too much work carrying 2 around. x'D

It started out slow. Most people just stopped by and looked and then moved on. I sold maybe 1 print and 2 bookmarks the first day? I didn't expect much anyway since it was my first time there. Honestly I'm surprised one of my prints even got sold ^^' So I wasn't that put down by the first day...

But then it was Friday, the second day, and things started picking up! I sold out one of my prints! Someone even decided to buy that damn rifle I randomly threw on there, which was amazing. I still can't believe it?

Friday was also the day my friend and I decided to do our cosplay. I missed a couple of hours in the alley because of that, since we had to get back to the hotel and change and all. Tho we did it during the evening so that it would get colder outside and we wouldn't miss THAT much time.

The alley closed around 10pm so we left around 3 to change, got back at 7 and spent those last hours there. Once it closed we also stayed way later at the convention, just walking around and actually looking at things!

Ok back to artist alley!

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The last day I entered the building, and then only went outside once to buy a drink. Other than that I literally sat there a whole day. 10-10. (Don't worry I had a friend with me that came and went with drinks/snacks).

This day was by far the busiest! I had figured out already that most people wait until the last day before they buy a lot, which makes sense since you want to scope out the whole place before deciding on anything. Saturday (the last day) was also probably one of the days most one-day goers chose? I don't have evidence but that's the day I would choose if I only went 1 day at least...

I decided I would have sales on the last day. For example you got a discount if you bought a whole set of bookmarks. The commissions stayed the same price tho since it was already so cheap. ^^'

In the end I sold 45 bookmarks, the rifle, all my stickers, 13 commissions and all prints except for the 2 with the woman laying in flowers :/ My poor Selma (oc). Might put those on my etsy? I still have bookmarks there btw! Even though I sold a lot those did not sell out. xD

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Now, the last day was also the day I bought stuff from others. I decided not to buy anything from the big shops in the other building, and only spent my money on food and artist alley stuff!  Gotta support em fellow artists ya know!

I already listed the things I bought from my neighbors, but I went outside of our little hidden away corner too (I did not pay extra for like a good seat heh...).

I had table 74 (in the upper right corner)...so yeah we were very hidden. Considering the bad spot my table did very well!

Anyway, Here's the cool shit I bought!

The artists' Instagrams:

Linn Standal (Cinnapai)

Emma Lupine

Linda Lithén

I also picked up a bunch of business cards from people I couldn't buy from this time...

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So then. What did I learn for next time? Weeeeell...let's make a list I guess!

If you sell commissions for cheap, some people will tip you once they see the final result! (These people are very kind)

The first day is slow. Don't panic!

You always need to bring more business cards than you think. I thought I had enough but nope, they were gone halfway past the second day :/

Next time I'll bring more prints. (Only brought 2 of each, except for the spirited away one. Of that I had 4)

People make cute sounds when they see something they like :'D

Hhhh people are so kind!

Take pictures of your damn commissions!

Bring more drawing paper. (I had to buy a new sketchbook the last day cause I had like...one empty page left)

Leave a sketchbook on the table for people to look through

You're not as bad as you think you are.

People are very kind

Put the commission sign in the middle where it's easy to see it. A lot of people didn't see mine before I moved it.

Putting a sign saying "only one left" on an almost sold out item is good.

Keep track of which prints get the most people to stop. Make note of this and order more of them for next time.

Also take notes whenever someone buys something, so you know how much you sold!

Find something you can hang your prints on so you don't have to lay them on the table. There's not as much space as you think there is.

EAT!!! FFS!!!

Write down your instagram on your business card! (I forgot I had one xD)

Aaaand I think that's that?

Like I said, I had an amazing time and I really hope to do something like this again very soon! Hopefully I'll have time and money to get to Närcon winter. I'll at least try and grab myself a table just in case, and sell it if I can't go in the end. I probably won't cosplay there tho and only focus on artist alley. ^^'

Well, how the fck did you read all this? Impressive. I am impressed. Here's a picture of my cat as a price!

Bye!