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#but I’ve come to accept it more after re-reading and realizing what they were trying to go for as far as
age-of-moonknight · 2 years
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“Second Wind,” Moon Knight (Vol. 1/1980), #35.
Writer: Tony Isabella; Pencilers: Kevin Nowlan and BobMcLeod; Inkers: Carl Potts, Joe Chiodo, and Bob McLeod; Colorist: Christie Scheele; Letterers: Joe Rosen and Michael Higgins
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apocalypticavolition · 4 months
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Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 31: On the Scent
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If you're on the scent for spoilers, keep reading! If you don't want to know everything about The Wheel of Time, including the books, show, comics, and card game all compressed into like, a couple thousand words inexplicably, definitely don't keep reading. The second you click that button everything will be psychically uploaded to your brain. I mean uh... something on theme... scentically uploaded to your nose.
We have a rising sun chapter as we're still in Cairhien and Thom's not around.
He gave one abrupt shudder and stopped laughing; she left him to crouch over Hurin.
Another not subtle thing to be doing. It's a good thing these Cairhienien are so politically suspicious that they miss the much greater threat right in front of them.
He said he didn’t know it, but he had a smile that shouted ‘lie’ a mile off.
Perrin could probably smell the lies on the dude before he opened his mouth.
I couldn’t hear what she said, but I didn’t know whether his eyes were going to pop out of his head or he was going to swallow his tongue first.
I'm sure that Verin just did the usual Aes Sedai thing and that the specifics aren't important, but it amuses me to imagine that she just told the dude the truth straight out.
He heard gasps from the Cairhienin listening, but he did not care. They could play their Great Game if they wanted, but Ingtar had come, and he was finished with it at last.
This is called dramatic irony and also counting your chickens before they hatch and whatnot.
Rand glanced at Perrin—He’s a sniffer?—and found Perrin studying him in return. He thought Perrin muttered something. Shadowkiller?
Have you boys tried talking to each other about your-
Nope. Can't even pretend to ask with a straight face.
Everyone was watching now—not even Cuale gave any attention to his own burning inn—and Rand thought a little caution might not be amiss after all.
Exactly Rand. You're surrounded by strangers in an immediate sense and surrounded by Darkfriends in a metaphorical sense. No point celebrating being free just yet.
Suddenly he noticed that the others were looking at him, Verin and Ingtar, Mat and Perrin. He realized what he had been doing, and his face colored. “I am sorry, Ingtar. It’s just that I’ve become used to being in charge, I suppose. I’m not trying to take your place.”
It's fascinating, how this boy has to be dragged kicking and screaming into everything, but once he accepts it he just takes to it instantly. A couple weeks' leadership and the boy completely forgets Ingtar's even there.
You can see why Demandred, Sammael, and Etcetera'al got so pissy.
She’s Moiraine’s eyes watching me, Moiraine’s hand trying to pull my strings. But I have cut the strings.
If only Rand had tried to learn about politics while he was here. He might have realized that Verin knowing things doesn't at all mean she's on Moiraine's side.
I guess that would probably have only made him more suspicious.
Also I forgot to mention her directly when taking these notes but Tiedra's plump so we know she's a good innkeeper.
It almost seemed to him that she was in the room with him, that he could smell her perfume, so much so that he looked around, and laughed to find himself alone.
It wouldn't surprise me at all if she had popped in invisibly somehow.
It was him, he thought. Rand is the Shadowkiller. Light, what’s happening to all of us? His hands tightened into fists, large and square. These hands were meant for a smith’s hammer, not an axe.
The duality that Perrin will be grappling with rears its ugly head. At last he already knows the answer. Though that really just makes his plot arc all the more frustrating.
Also, points to Perrin for pulling off having Rand in his POV instead of what usually happens (thus far in the series) and Rand hogging the spotlight. This isn't the first time this has happened (Egwene did it back in Fal Dara), but it does show the transition this series is slowly undergoing.
One of Mat’s eggs hit the floor and cracked. He did not look at it, though. He was looking at Rand, and Ingtar had turned around.
Mat, the so-called idiot, irresponsible fool: Has a tell about Rand's situation but volunteers nothing and doesn't cause any trouble.
Perrin realized he was staring, too. “Well, he did not fly,” he said. “I don’t see any wings. Maybe he has more important things to tell us.” Verin shifted her attention to him, just for a moment. He managed to meet her eyes, but he was the first to look away.
Perrin, the so-called quiet, responsible kid: Tries to get in a fight with a woman several decades his senior over his friend's honor.
“Interesting,” the Aes Sedai said, a thoughtful expression on her face. “I would very much like to meet this girl. If she can use a Portal Stone. . . . Even that name is not very widely known.”
Verin must suspect. How panicked does this make her?
Rand asked the innkeeper if there were any more books, and she brought him The Travels of Jain Farstrider. Perrin liked that one, too, with its stories of adventures among the Sea Folk and journeys to the lands beyond the Aiel Waste, where silk came from.
Is this our first real Shara reference? I think it might be.
The Shienaran played with a slashing, daring style. Perrin had always played doggedly, giving ground reluctantly, but he found himself placing the stones with as much recklessness as Ingtar. Most of the games ended in a draw, but he managed to win as many as Ingtar did.
Ignore the terrible pun and focus on how Perrin is being shifted by his experiences as well. Perhaps this is why he talked back to Verin earlier.
“There are Darkfriends among the high as well as the low,” Verin said smoothly. “The mighty give their souls to the Shadow as often as the weak.” Ingtar scowled as if he did not want to think of that.
Frankly Verin, if there weren't so few Aes Sedai I'd argue the Tower's horrible percentages make the mighty even more frequent donaters. And indeed note that Ingtar isn't "as if" anything. It's exactly the case that he doesn't want to think about noble Darkfriends.
“I know little of Cairhienin,” Ingtar told him, “but I’ve heard enough of Galldrian. He would feast us and thank us for the glory we had brought to Cairhien. He would stuff our pockets with gold and heap honors on our heads. And if we tried to leave with the Horn, he’d cut our honored heads off without pausing to take a breath.”
It's mind-boggling how actively detrimental to the cause of existence most of the modern day royalty proves to be. Like obviously they need to be toppled from their thrones and all that but damn.
There was a dignity to him that Perrin did not remember; Rand was looking at the Aes Sedai and the Shienaran lord as equals.
Well he's found the Horn of Valere twice now, so he's worthy of being a legendary hero even ignoring all the stuff he hasn't done yet. Selene's flirting sadly helped.
It will also help if you remember the way you behaved before the Amyrlin. If you are that arrogant, they will believe you are a lord if you wear rags.
Lan's training paying off in a dozen ways. He'd be so proud if he were here.
“A sa’angreal.” She sounded as if it were really not very important, but Perrin suddenly had the feeling the two of them had entered a private conversation, saying things no one else could hear.
For example, she's basically telling Rand what tools are available to him.
One by itself is powerful enough, but I can think of few women strong enough to survive the flow through the one on Tremalking. The Amyrlin, of course. Moiraine, and Elaida. Perhaps one or two others. And three still in training.
I guess Verin must think Cadsuane dead, since Lelaine and Romanda would make three if she were being counted. How terrifying that at this very point the White Tower has a total of eight, kind of nine women capable of using the Choedan Kal. It should be so much more.
As for Logain, it would have taken all his strength simply to keep from being burned to a cinder, with nothing left for doing anything.
Unless the male statue is quite different and only ever meant for Lews to use, Verin is very mistaken here. Logain is only a step below Rand, and there's sixteen tiers in between him and Moiraine.
She was talking to Rand. Perrin knew it, and from the queasy look in Mat’s eye, he did, too. Even Loial shifted nervously in his chair.
Thank goodness the empath is the POV to confirm that Loial is not blind or stupid but has in fact put two and two together.
Watching Verin’s smile, small and mysterious, Perrin felt a chill. He did not think Rand knew half what he thought he did. Not half.
Perrin you don't even know half of how right you are.
But we'll get to that next time, when our company visits The Huge Toad Crouching in the Night: Lord Barthanes's Manor! (Disclaimer: Toads may be metaphorical or even simileical)
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bookaddict24-7 · 1 month
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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!
EVERY WEEK I WILL POST VARIOUS REVIEWS I’VE WRITTEN SO FAR IN 2024. YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY GOODREADS FOR MORE UP-TO-DATE REVIEWS HERE.
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125. The Dangerous Convenience Store Vol. 1 by 945: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I love this trope of a big and older tough guy being a cinnamon roll who wants to make the less tough MC happy, or at least, less sad, even while he's trying to figure himself out. I also like that there's more to this story than just their sexual chemistry. Learning about each character and what makes them tick added a great level of depth to the volume.
And yes, this was a very sexy read--mainly because the chemistry between these two is very, very steamy. I may have devoured this in one reading.
Also, in a weird way, this lowkey felt like I was reading a Kdrama because of the setting, the tough characters, and the friendships surrounding the MC.
Can't wait to check out more volumes in these series as they come out!
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126. The Dangerous Convenience Store Vol. 2 by 945: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Another great volume!
I love seeing the MC's strong spine in this one. Even though he cries often, he's pretty resolute in his decisions--especially when it comes to him finally realizing when something or someone is bad or good for him.
I also loved seeing things from the perspective of the tough love interest because it helped round the story out better for me. I love being able to see how the other party views a situation happening.
This was also another sexy volume, especially as the two characters start to understand each others' needs better. I also LOVE seeing the protective side of this tough guy.
Ugh, love.
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127. Second Chances in Port Stephen by T.J. Alexander: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Normally I'm not a big fan of second chance romances, but this was such a sweet interpretation of that trope. I loved that it was like these two characters were getting to know each other for the first time since one is falling for the other after his transition.
Despite the occasionally miscommunication, I thought that these characters were surrounded by pretty great supporting characters that helped them put things into perspective. I loved watching everyone around them help them grow that re-blossoming of love.
I did also really like the MMC1's parents. They were truly trying their best and had a lot more patience with their son than I would have had. I think the way he was with his parents portrayed how immature he could be. Although he was almost 40, he was acting like a bit of a spoiled teenage boy. Even the way he was with his ex-boyfriend was a bit immature and confusing. But I did appreciate that there is some pretty good (if not a little quick) character growth on his end.
But it's not to say that the other MMC didn't have his own moments where he needed to seriously grow as a character. He needed to find his voice and be more honest about what he was feeling and thinking. He also had a few important moments of needing to understand where his ex-boyfriend was coming from.
Overall, these two DID work well together, but they definitely went through the character growth olympics. This was a cute read with some seriously sweet moments and while it wasn't a five-star read for me, I can definitely see this being someone's favourite read. Also, the daughter was ADORABLE.
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128. Never Let Go Vol. 1 by Saki Sakimoto: ⭐️⭐️⭐️.5
NEVER LET GO was a heavier manga, emotionally, with an interesting storyline that move a bit quickly for my liking and should have been a single volume title. I think the story ended pretty well and answered any questions I had.
I did like how much the one character had to fight to be accepted by the other very jaded (justifiably so) main character. My heart broke for him and the experiences he had growing up. I'm glad he finally had someone to help him and show him that he is worth the love.
What took me a while to get used to was the artwork. I don't know what it was, but something about this art style just felt...very AI to me. Like, it lacked personality? Even now as I write this, I'm still put off by that art work. I know a lot of people probably love it, but it felt too...perfect?
Anyway, enjoyed the (cheesy) story! MAYBE I'll check out the second volume when it comes out!
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129. Fruit by Brian Francis: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
FRUIT was such an interesting experience. It brought the reader to a time in the 80s where language was a lot more lax and where a young pre-teen lives in a confusing world full of body shaming, sexuality, and surprisingly humorous curiosity.
While some moments were definitely cringe, I also appreciated the Francis's ability to bring us so thoroughly into the brain of this young boy. I loved the exploration of the sibling and parental relationships, and how toxic sometimes they can be. The relating of these relationships felt like I was reading a chaotic diary. Especially because all of this is being told from the perspective of a young boy.
I think my favourite part of this book is how Francis weaved the queer identity into the story in the subtlest of ways, up until the end when that final sentence acts as that ghost that so many queer youth have haunting them. The exploration of the MC's growing sexuality and fantasies plays into this growing identity that we are witness to. It made me think of my own childhood and all of the confusing things that run through your mind at that age. It is a level of honesty I wasn't expecting, especially because of the potentially unreliable narrator being a young teen.
This was quite the journey and I think it was a great commentary of what it might have been like to be a young queer person in the 80s, who also was struggling with his self-image. A powerful and at times uncomfortable read.
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130. First Down by Grace Reilly: ⭐️⭐️
Ah, this book.
I read this series out of order and started with the second book and tbh, I'm so glad I did. I really, really enjoyed BREAKAWAY. If I'd started this series with this one, I don't know if I'd have picked that one up.
FIRST DOWN started off cute enough. The whole idea of "seeing each other from across the room" was adorable--that has Destiny™️ written all over it--and then sealing it with a kiss? Adorable. But the thing is that the MMC had made a vow to stay away from relationships so he could focus on his career, especially after a messy relationship that almost ruined his future career goals. And I get the whole fated-to-love-you thing, but I wish there had been a bit more push back from him. Like, he caved so quickly. He was punched HARD by that insta-love bug all because she was this cute little blonde.
And then we have FMC who is a little more steadfast in her convictions to stay away from future relationships, but then is in two precarious situations where either her mother is treating her like a wet blanket, or her cheating ex just won't take a hint. Of the two MCs, she was definitely the stronger-willed one.
The insta-romance and the way the MMC was literally repeating the same things that almost screwed him over before started to sour this book for me. And I'm going to be honest, something about the ending really pissed me off, but LOL I CAN'T REMEMBER IT. I just have vague memories of it because it was just...meh. So disappointing.
Listen, if you really want to read any books in this series, definitely do book 2. That one wasn't perfect but it was cute and spicy. I'm sad with this one AND the third book, because I DNFed that one. Welp.
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131. Megumi & Tsugumi, Vol. 1 by Mitsuru Si: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Okay, I wasn't expecting this book to be SO FUNNY.
Bless Tsugumi for his sweet and feisty dumb brain, and Megumi for his stubborn love for Tsugumi. I loved their meeting up immediately and how one character completely knocked the other one down. I do wish we didn't have this trope of "alphas can't control themselves unless omegas take these blockers". It's uncomfortable, but I love that Tsugumi doesn't stand for any of that.
I also loved Tsugumi's family. They're the sweetest and I want him to find that kind of love for himself.
That artwork is gorgeous, too, and I love how expressive the characters were. Mitsuru Si does a fantastic job in portraying their characters.
This is also a very sexy series. That tension between the characters was very well-done.
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132. Megumi & Tsugumi, Vol. 2 by Mitsuru Si: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Sweet and stubborn Tsugumi. Trying to get him to admit any sort of emotion is like pulling hairs, but it's all worth it. Especially in this one when he reacts to a specific situation. While I liked the way he reacted, I hated that the situation went as far as it did. I still love this series, but that whole thing made me very uncomfortable.
And that theme seems to be a trend in this genre.
Also, again, props to Mitsuru Si for their artwork. The fact that Tsugumi's dad looks SO MUCH like him in the side story is WILD. Gotta love those facial expressions lol.
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133. Megumi & Tsugumi, Vol. 3 by Mitsuru Si: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
One of my favourite things about this volume was how Megumi makes Tsugumi really think about his feelings and what they are to each other. Sometimes I want to pat Tsugumi's head because I think he's taken a few too many blows to the head. He is so stubborn, but he at least admits when he doesn't understand something--especially love-related (which is so interesting because his dads have such a cute and romantic relationship).
We're introduced to someone new in this volume and sigh, another similar theme happened in this as in the last volume and I just, one star off for that trope. I hated, hated seeing it, but thankful that it didn't go any further than it did. Plus the AUDACITY of that character. Please.
I devoured this volume. It was shorter than the last two, but held so much story! Props to Tsugumi's adorable little sister, and punches to Megumi's horrible father. Also, the side story continues to be adorable!!
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134. The Idea of You by Robinne Lee: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Three stars because I was hooked, even though this is very clearly a romance based on a very popular music artist (apparently). It was sexy and had some pretty high-emotional moments. I liked their relationship and how these two characters had great chemistry together. I did also love how he treated her with so much care and love.
There were a few things, however, that were big detractors for me. THE IDEA OF YOU read very, very slow. The pacing felt intensely slow and I don't know how since there was always something happening. And considering how quickly the relationship moved, the story lagged.
Everyone and their father had a thing for the MC. She's apparently this sexy vixen of an older woman who has a big issue with her famous younger man's romantic past, but then she turns and flirts without thinking about it--except for a situation that was awkward and made more so by her weird and flirty jabs back at the person? I don't doubt she's beautiful, but there's even a character who hinted at cheating on his wife for her. It was weird.
And her ex. Ooof, let's not get started on her ex. He was such a hypocrite. Listen, I love a great age gap romance that doesn't fetishizes the younger partner and while I don't think this one did that, everyone immediately went to that and had the MC adding to her insecurity about her age and her love interest's age. Ironically, this included her ex who was also marrying a younger woman. And I did appreciate that Lee also comments on the hypocrisy of men marrying younger women and then turning and judging women who do the same with younger men. This is all within reason, of course.
One of the things I WILL say, however, that I enjoyed was how surprisingly spicy this was. I was expecting this to be sexy but not spicy. And the characters' obsessions with their naked bodies. That was fun, especially because of their mutual appreciation for each other.
Now, I'm ending this review with: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT ENDING? All of that angst, pain, emotionally turmoil for THAT ENDING? I get that unless I'm in that situation, I'll never fully understand (especially because I'm not a mom), but JFC. I hated that ending so much. I hated it so much to the point where it tainted the rest of the book. It was so cruel and I hate how just because one character is older they think they have it all figured out. UGH.
I don't think I'd be able to watch the movie, especially knowing how the book ended (I wonder if they'll keep the same ending...hmmm).
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Have you read any of these? What were your thoughts?
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Happy reading!
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gay-dorito-dust · 3 months
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Not a request and apologies for this being long.
Even though this is very late to share with you… Here’s something I’ve been thinking about after re-reading the Deadweight series, mostly about the relationship between Vax and Reader. (And this is only just a thought that got ridiculous long that I apologize once more)
We know that Vox Machina have been concern and overprotective of Reader, trying to reform a connection that’s been lost (because I honestly want to believe that there was one in the beginning when Reader joined/traveled with them before drifting off); but out of everyone, Vax has been the one putting more effort than the rest. Not that I’m saying he’s better than the rest, it’s just that the focus between the two is more noticeable in the series because in the end, all seven of them did fucked up when it comes to their relationship with Reader.
Yet considering how this is a canon divergence with Reader being the Raven Queen’s champion instead of Vax? Where Reader prevented Vex’s death (at the cost of their own) that would’ve caused Vax, out of desperation to save his sister, to be the Matron’s champion? When you think about it: Vax trying to save Reader, in a sense, would have been meaningless than saving Vex because a bond between siblings is nothing compared to a very distant, possibly even one sided at this point if there’s anything, friendship (Reader see themselves as deadweight and believe no one would actually care if they die when, in fact, Vox Machina did and realizes too late of how strained their relationship with them has come, after they been revived and been given the group a cold shoulder afterwards, for when it happened.)
If Vax’s plead had been accepted, Reader would only end up resenting him even more than they already have to begin with. A resentment that would only continue to grow if Vox Machina were to leave them behind in the next town they come across (because Vax would be wearing the armor instead of them) or become more protective out of fear of losing Reader again (which Reader doesn’t even like because it will only seem that the group only started to actually care about them after they died.)
I like to believe that the Raven Queen foresaw that happening and denies Vax’s request (even when his intentions were good) because it’ll only do more harm than good. While Vax would see it as her taking advantage of Reader wanting to feel a sense of belonging somewhere, it was her way of granting the group an opportunity of a second chance at being able to make amends with Reader (even when she got herself a champion as well).
So, I can imagine the reason for Vax to go to one of the Raven Queen’s temples (like in episode 11 of s2) is so that he could ask his questions, the worries that he has, to her about Reader being her champion. And I like to think that Reader does have a sense of understanding of what it means to be her champion (rather it’s through their interpretation from the visions they received from her or perhaps she already told them before being revived, who knows).
Not sure if Vax would become one of her followers. Maybe he’ll look more into the beliefs of those who follow under her religion since Reader follows her (even if it’s because they’re her champion), who knows. I guess it’ll depend if he is satisfied with the answer he receives? Or he’ll learn that he doesn’t have to have faith in her, but to Reader instead because they have made a deal with the Raven Queen, not Vax. They understand the terms and conditions of their deal.
And I believe we won’t fully know what that deal is until next season because it’s too soon for Reader to tell Vox Machina. The rekindling progress of their friendship just started, it’s currently weak and needs to be nurtured to become bright once more. So until then, there’s no reason for Reader to tell Vox Machina what that deal is because there’s not enough trust to do so yet.
When the time does come for them to do so, it’ll be when Reader will start to feel dreadful as the day to fully fulfill the deal draws near because at the time it was made: Reader didn’t want anything to do with Vox Machina anymore and only stayed because they’re the owner of the vestige that is needed to help defeat the Chroma Conclave, so completing the quest was something they were looking forward to.
However, that will slowly begin to change over time as Reader continues to get close to Vox Machina once more. Which will only lead to a decision that Reader would have to make as ‘The End’ draws near: Will they tell the group about the conditions of their deal, or keep it to themselves to spare the group the pain of what’s to come?
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I apologize once more for this being long and it being a Vox Machina ask (because even though it’s not a request, it’s still closed?). Take care and enjoy the rest of your day!
Reading this makes me wanna go back and at least give it it’s part 8/9 (idk I lost count lol)
The deadweight series was originally just gonna be a silly little cliffhanger one shot that expanded into something more, something I didn’t expect and honestly I love it, mainly for these types of in depth analysis type feedback because it shows that at least some people like it.
It really warms my heart seeing these types of things for something I created on a silly/goofy whim, not thinking it was going to go anywhere…
I’m still waiting for season 3, whenever that maybe, so that I can finish up the first section/chapter, season -however you wanna call it- for you lot before moving onto the next chapter of the deadweight series. Which I hope you all will join me on and continue to badger me to keep adding more parts 🤣
Other then that, I just gotta say, wow, thank you anon for this message bc it reinvigorated me to continue to do more for the deadweight series in the future and I can’t help but thank you for that.
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saezurufeels · 2 years
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Hello. First of all i am a big fan of your blog and this time i finally decided to analysis (am i?? 😂 ) things too i’m so sorry if it didn’t come out smoothly but i do hope that you would give it some thought on mine🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ Recently, i was re-reading Saezuru again and I’ve been giving it a thought about “old yashiro” For now we could see yashiro’s progress about he accepted his past and himself as a raped victim however, i did feel like he was still not fully accepted that he was a victim. More like doesn’t want to admit it?? I usually think back to when Y was young and found out after he’s been raped his body became to like the sensation of violent sex and it need to be by men, if i were to found out something like that i would be crushed as well as yashiro, but i also believe that is when his coping mechanism started to kicked in the illusion of “i’m a pervert twisted masochistic that love having sex with men” seeking painful sex to convince himself he like it for physical pleasure only not even realizing the truth reason that it was only a mask. created “old yashiro” that we know of, however, Y is now realized that it was a barrier he created. Back to present, After 4 years Y still try to seek violent sex, i see it as a last straw for he is trying to hold on to so he doesn’t have to deal with the biggest trauma of his life, if he can still feel pain during sex even tho he doesn’t enjoy it then he can still be in his own illusion, beside that i don’t think Y doesn’t know how to change his behavior because he’s been doing it for many years plus just like in your analysis there is no point of changing it and he might see it like self-punishment for him to became liking sex with men after he got raped. Y pushed D away because he’s knew if he ever accepted D in his life he has to come out from the illusion to deal with his past and it’s just too much. I’m really looking forward to how it will turn out. Thank you for reading until now…
Hi there :) Thanks so much :) You have an interesting perspective! I’ll share what I think
So, from my understanding, some indeterminate amount of time after Yashiro and Doumeki parted ways, Inami found Yashiro and raped him. Yashiro then became impotent, and tried testing it out with casino patrons to see if his dysfunction was circumstantial or general. When he realized he’s completely impotent regardless of whom he did it with, that’s when sex became completely unpleasurable for Yashiro, and all he felt was pain. Before Yashiro became impotent, sex was painful still, but at least he could say, “I’m aroused, so I like it, and therefore I’m a masochist.” Before, sex served its purpose for Yashiro on two levels: 1) on a practical, straightforward level, that allowed him to enjoy the experience physically, and 2) on a deeper, subconscious level, that reaffirmed what he believed about himself and gave him a sense of self and control. Those two things are intertwined, because one cannot exist without the other. Yashiro wouldn’t be a masochist if he didn’t get aroused, and he wouldn’t be able to get aroused if he wasn’t a masochist.
So, if nothing has changed post-timeskip, and Yashiro still thinks he’s a masochist, then he should be able to enjoy sex with Inami, right? Except he doesn’t. If Yashiro is still holding on to his illusions, he would have no problem getting hard from violent sex. Likewise, if Yashiro still thinks he’s twisted, he would be able to get aroused from painful sex, because it would affirm his self-perception of being a pervert. He thinks he’s a pervert -> he gets aroused when it hurts -> reaffirms that is he perverted. It’s a cycle. But that isn’t the case anymore, since Yashiro is not getting aroused anymore. The sex he has is still the same, however: painful and violent. So, something must have changed with Yashiro’s self-perception.
In my previous post, which I assume you’re referring to, I speculate on what those internal changes might be. Specifically, I talk about Yashiro’s new terminology, and how it emphasizes his blamelessness. Yashiro refers to Inami as a rapist, and tries to correct Inami’s understanding of their sexual dynamic multiple times. Yashiro tells Inami that they aren’t sex friends— they’re work partners. They have different reasons for meeting up. They’re exchanging different things. Inami wants sex, but Yashiro wants info. Yashiro says this to underscore the fact that he isn’t the “slut” that Inami thinks he is. Yashiro is reframing the situation. He went from “I’m a masochist and I want to have violent sex” to “I want your information, period.” This is a big change for him. If we think back to 4 years ago, Yashiro owned his derogatory labels pretty proudly (at least on the surface).
Because of what happened in chapter 47, I am speculating what this means going forward for Yashiro. If Yashiro indeed doesn’t think of himself as twisted and perverted anymore, then he might be able to accept love, instead of pushing it away. And that is what I think he means when he says that “there is no reason to get rid of it if I never knew it,” with “it” being love.
Anyways, I think that Yashiro is starting to deal with his past. And not just his past, but also his present. I think he’s always known that his step father was a rapist, but he never fully grasped how his trauma from the past manifested itself in his current self-destructive behaviour and thought patterns. Yes, Yashiro knew his body “couldn’t live without men,” but he probably didn’t consciously realize that he was pushing away love for all those years-- hence the reoccurring nightmare trying to tell him something. Sometimes the hardest part of healing is recognizing how our own behaviour has had negative impacts on us, and in order to overcome our traumas, we have to forgive ourselves and move on. For Yashiro this means two things: recognizing his negative patterns, forgiving himself for them, and stopping them, while at the same time understanding that he is worthy of love and finally accepting love.
I think Yashiro has started this process. But, who knows! This is all just speculation for now :)
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svucarisiaddict · 2 years
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Hello, how are you? I hope you have been well.
So I saw these prompts that kind of stood out to me and I was thinking about them in reference to one night stand series;
“I’ve never felt like this about anyone, and honestly it scares me.”
"I never stood a chance, did I?” “That’s the sad part – you did once.”
"You were more then a one night stand". 
but idk, I just liked them for some reason. Not sure if they work but I thought I'd send them over and get your thoughts?!?!
I don't just see her listening to Sonny and going okay then happy ever after but I also don't know if she is really willing to stop with him either. I'm probably reading to much into this but what do you think?!? When your write a series such as this one was there a thought on how it will go or is it something when you start writing?
I know it sounds silly, I just like the reader. She's flawed with her putting up the walls, arguably self destructive and going back to Stone who seems to be that safe, familiar relationship even if it's not the best (ex for a reason). I love that despite her feelings for Sonny she isn't hanging around to wait to get hurt or even be anyone's second choice.
But Sonny here, I guess the choice has gone because she has, but honestly he's pined, had feelings for, had this close relationship with Rollins for ever that we know. But he had this chance right with someone else. And look what happens!
I'm so invested and like alot of your fics I have been going back and re reading..... Im sorry I'm rambling with no real questions at 4 in the morning my time.
Ps. Okay John Carter, yasss. Such a mood and I love him. I was quite young when ER was on but my mum got me into the re-runs much later and he was def my fav! So excited to hear your writing for him.
First, let me say thank you for sending me your ask. I love when people ask me questions about my series! You really seem to get my writing and the characters :)
The prompts are perfect for the series. So, thank you! In fact I used one in the most recent chapter of the series!
She is definitely not over Sonny nor will she just accept his explanation of his feelings for Amanda. We all know Sonny has liked Amanda for years. Deep down he probably does. You are not reading into it at all! That’s exactly how I want the story to come across. 
As far as my writing I usually have a rough idea of how the story is going to play out but sometimes change on a whim. It may depend on how I’m feeling that day emotionally, not liking what I wrote and rewriting, getting a better idea, etc. And sometimes I just get stuck on where to take the story.  I’m releasing the next chapter later today and I am working on the next. And I’m stuck. I have a couple different ways to go.
You’re not silly. I like the character too. I try to write real characters. Everyone has flaws and I try to reflect that in my writings. I feel people can relate to a story or character if they see themselves in a similar situation to having the same feelings and reactions. 
Peter Stone is complicated. He is a broken man but he has the capability to love deeply. He truly cares for and loves our leading lady. I have a feeling he is going to fight for her and prove his love to her. Whether he’ll be successful is to be seen.
Don’t count Sonny out though! He cares for the reader as well. She’s made him realize that there is someone out there other than Amanda he can love. I do think he’s torn on what to do because now he thinks that the reader is over him and he lost his chance with her. 
I’m still uncertain who the reader will end up with, if anyone! We’ll see where the story takes us!
I’m so happy to hear how much you enjoy and are invested in my fics. I appreciate it so much! Please message me with any questions on my fics, my process, etc. 
I love Carter too. I was so naive and sweet when the show began. There were times when he irked me and I didn’t care for how he behaved. I have a middle story for him and the reader but need to work back to thow they meet. I have a couple of different scenarios but not sure if I like them. Stay tuned for Carter fics!
Thank you again so much!!
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mvillamemoirs · 1 year
Text
Nov 2020 -March 2021
March 7th, 2021
-Came into Lokahi, here at Lokahi reading this journal. Time flies by, it’s been too long since last post. If i were to compare myself now from then, I think writing down things gave me a sense of clarity internally. Past few days I’ve been feeling so slow, overwhelmed, tired, but mentally on overdrive too. I miss danny- he’s lucky he can be with his grandma and family. I miss mine in Lanai, too. I am uncertain how to deal with grandma and her stage 4 stomach cancer. I wonder why Michelle doesn’t like to visit, she’s so fortunate to be so close. I don’t know. 
-I feel like a load has been lifted from my shoulders as I dropped out of school. I still feel as if there’s something missing in my life- PURPOSE. I want the luxury of having credentials to my name so I can move freely, without relying on my current job and CA living. Danny is right- CA is ripping us off of life due to how pricey it is. . .I wonder what my next move will be. Re-enroll in classes? Most likely, but when? Should I move out of CA in the coming years? I feel weary about 30 years old and no educational progress. This should be a time for me to look internally, and seek happiness from myself again, right?
Saturday, November 21st, 2020
-Danny is right about being firm with what i want and what I’m paying for when it came to apartments. Things are looking bright, updated lease agreement is in the works, Timberleaf- HERE WE COME!!!
Friday, November 20th, 2020
-Went to work. MS is flat, rude and it’s ironic how she can’t sympathize with patients. If anything, I think I can see myself leaving due to her. She’s so problematic. Plus side, enjoyed all patients coming in, definitely connected and trying to adapt those social skills to get it in return. I miss Hawaii and my older sister.
-Grabbed dinner with danny at La Vic’s. They say that staring at your partner/ adoring them is goodm but I think it bothered him out a bit. Haha
Thursday, November 19th, 2020
-Went to zoom class. Yay for it being short so i can get an extra hour into work in, and head straight to studying. 
-MS left early, I stayed late.
Wednesday, November 18th, 2020
-Oh the stress of school and getting shit done. Weird process for getting admitted into physiology, but thank goodness for a speedy process with one of the counselors. I’m getting better at managing my stress/anxiety, and being more vocal about it to the receiving in. Yay for communication skills. I feel focused, a bit bothered and low energy, but I trust everything is going to be okay.
Tuesday, November 17th, 2020
-Went to Dannys early morning since it’s lab session today dissecting a brain, and can’t do that at home. So annoyed. Luckily session was short today, but have to get my car looked at since Dr M hit my driver door.
Monday, November 16th, 2020
-Getting anxious about the possibilities with court. Yay for Attorney Ryan for accepting this pre-plea bargain. Oh what to do now due to covid. But thank goodness my therapy sessions aren’t going to waste. So total 21 months to go with a diversion program and 50 hours of community service.
-Left work with my boss telling me he hit my car- oh well, it’s all replaceable, but what a day.
Sunday, November 15th, 2020
-Saw the commons apartments in the morning solo dolo as Danny didn’t want to go. It’s really nice, but only one parking which won’t fly with Daniel. Met up with Danny afterwards and hung out before he went to work. Forgot psych test is due tonight- yay for studying all day. Boo for cold weather not making me feel motivated. I wish anatomy was just as easy as psychology.
-Noticing my anxiety and jitters regarding court aren’t going hay-wire. I feel calm, more accepting.
Saturday, November 14th, 2020
-Woke up at Danny, got ready for work at lokahi, looking forward to the baby shower afterwards.
-After going to the baby shower, it made me realize how I need to work on my communication and approach with others. I feel like i’m not as exciting as a person, and wonder what me and Danny are going to be. Blowing up on me on the way there was very weird and uncomfortable, I feel like we need to better our communication. I don’t like going to bed when I’m upset.
Friday, November 13th, 2020
-Go to work, it’s going to be a short day as my boss is leaving town, then check out apartments. Timberleaf was really nice, so are the ones in Cupertino, but realistically location has to be fair for both me and Danny when it comes to commuting to work. I’m excited for the way things are going between us.
-Had session with Dr Der bing to finish up the letter. It’s done in 15 minutes, what a relief. I have credit for next session.
Thursday, November 12th, 2020
-Attend class, study, go to work then therapy afterwards.
Wednesday, November 11th, 2020
-Woke up to Danny bringing me coffee and breakfast. Way to start my day. It’s going to be a good day.
Tuesday, November, 10th, 2020
-Woke up irritated, I hate feeling like I’m being watched by my mom all day everyday in this house. Sometimes I just want to move in silence. For 2 people in this house, unsure how our schedules tend to match on my days off-there’s so much space but I feel claustrophobic. Walked nala, had a cigarette, came back home to make breakfast, Zen out and lit up sage in my room, did some card reading action and now I’m in zoom class. I wish November 16th came sooner so I can know what to expect and how to move forward. Cards reminded me to indulge in passion more in the meantime.
Monday, November 9th, 2020
-Went to work, so freezing cold. I get irritated by MS, I don’t respect her. Had fun in the back all shift, came home, read for anatomy, took the quiz and studied. Decent productive day.
Sunday, November 8th, 2020
-Had breakfast with Danny this morning. Did take out at Los Gatos Cafe, grabbed some mimosas from Bill’s cafe. Knocked out until he had to leave early for work. I find myself getting lots of rest this whole weekend- it’s weird that it’s raining. It justifies me wanting to hibernate without any judgment.
-Went home, crammed and read for psychology. Did work, slept the night away.
Saturday, November 7th, 2020
-Left Dannys, got ready for Lokahi. Did my shift, and met up with Danny at my place as I got dinner ready. Had my massage session, he dropped me off and picked me up. I felt bad because he expressed how he wanted to relax, and that’s what we ended up doing after my massage session. Drank some wine and knocked out while netflix was playing. I feel like this is the new norm now a days with COVID.
Friday, November 6th, 2020
-Hung out with Danny after work, stayed in and relaxed with Netflix. He was supposed to go out with Chocolate, but not until he gets off at 9:30pm. I find myself wanted to isolate from others aside from Danny. He really does relax me, and I wish I can hang out with him and Nala at the same time.
Thursday, November 5th, 2020
-Great start to another day- woke up at Danny’s place, came home and tackled the majority of my homework due tonight. Did some stretches and exercises while making my morning coffee, my GI system feels like it’s functioning well. Braces also hurt less. I feel more grounded, showing appreciation for Mother Nature. Reminding myself negative thoughts and emotions are always temporary, proceed on being mindful, present, and deep breathing for relaxation. Some progressive muscle contraction exercises help with my lower extremities- awaiting to continue more of it down the road.
Wednesday, November 4th, 2020
-Woke up early, did laundry, made coffee had breakfast and prepped my lunch- very productive start to the day. Went to work, kept that productivity high with patient, videos and insurance duties. Talked to Danny on my lunch break regarding appointment time to check out an apartment, didn’t go to well, but tension, anxiety and excess feelings began leveling out once highlighting that good things don’t happen when either sides are rushed. We both calmed down. I just want him to rest when he’s off work. After work, stopped by his house and had dinner and spent the night. Had pizza, watched a movie, got a homework assignment done.
-It also amazed me how much collections were taken for month of October, staff is killing it. -Thankful for Meilani to watch Nala while I was at work. Praising myself on getting braces on, making better financial choices and have to continue spending my money wisely. Praising myself for not overindulging in pizza last night.
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2020
-Woke up, checked out Citra apartments at 8am, very nice lady showing me the tour. Connected as human beings, shared small stories, very welcoming atmosphere. Decent landscape, pretty pricey living in Sunnyvale, and made me realize how far a commute to work. Possible no.
-Had therapy session, read my letter to myself to Dr Der Bing- lots of encouragement, I praise him for guiding me through everything thus far.
Monday, November 2nd, 2020
-I feel like my emotions are high, I have a lot of work to do as far as billing goes. Trying to remind myself to take it easy and keep grounded. Focus on easing tension with MS, and continue to connect with patients and get work done.
-Trying to keep my emotions in control regarding court, as it is 2 weeks to determine what comes next. Got to remind myself to trust in the process, and believe that things will work out for the best. Always try to look at the good things in everything that comes my way.
-Still feel overshadowed and constantly being watched at home. I fiend for my own space to roam freely, without having any restrictions. Danny is right, I do feel tense around my mom and being in this household. It feels liberating to look for my own place to share with Danny.
-Didn’t do too hot in the anatomy quiz like always. Need to remind myself to study muscles ontop of whatever chapter we’re doing. Looking back the bony markings killed me, along with histology.
Sunday, November 1st, 2020
-I really enjoyed this hour back time shift for Fall. Woke up early and left Dannys place to get ready for work at Lokahi. I can’t imagine what Rachel is going through losing her grandma and attending her memorial mass this morning. I should’ve just stayed and covered the whole shift, but I mean she did have weeks to give me a heads up on coverage as the schedule is out. Got to keep reminding myself to find the good balance between work, school and play- all while achieving self-care throughout the process.
-Got off work, Danny got extremely drunk at his dad’s place, I was upset and let it be known. He expressed how he feels out of control when drinking, and gave in because it was his dad and their bonding time. Reminded me how I felt when I did shrooms and smoked marijuana in general, I don’t like feelings of being incontrol of myself.
-Brought Danny lunch and talked about my feelings, he validates them and doesn’t judge me. Our talk made me realize how serious things are getting and I’m happy about it.
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harryskalechips · 3 years
Text
one and done
A/N Hi everyone! I’m back with a one shot :) I know I don’t write as often anymore but since I’m self quarantining and I’m just about finish with high school, I thought I should try and give it another go? I’m also re starting up my jewellery business so ahhh many goals in mind but no motivation ??? Okay, I hope you guys enjoy this one!!! It is definitely a slow burn with smut but part 2? I dunno!!
Y/N and her brother’s best friend Harry, has had some pent up sexual frustration for a while. Wouldn’t it be best if they just had a one and done? you know to get it out of their system ;) 
*smut includes spanking, choking, male and female receives oral, harry dom but Y/N rides, magic face cream treatment for anti wrinkling results? Yes, and what else? sub space, hair pulling, gosh I forgot please read it 😁
Word Count: 6.1k // Masterlist // one and done PLAYLIST
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“Don’t you think it's a bit of a cliché to be crushing on your brother’s best friend?” Ness teases Y/N as they walk out of her house. They were just on the steps about to go on a walk around the block. It was definitely one of their favourite things to do as the sun was just about to set.
Y/N had her butt sat on the spruced wooden steps as she ignored her best friend’s comment. First off, she knew it was a cliché. Secondly, her last encounter with him just seconds ago was already making her plan her own execution.
In her head, it was simply her just jumping out of her window multiple times until she lost consciousness. Ness on the other hand was standing up, watching the poor girl tie her laces. “Okay, I was just teasing. We can change the topic.” She lends her hand out for Y/N to take.
“It’s not just that Ness.” She gladly accepts the gesture and stands up. She wipes off her butt and glances back at the door. “I’ve never had a thing for him! Ryan and Harry have been best mates since what? 8th grade and for some reason ever since the cruise from last summer, I can’t stop thinking about him.”
“It’s because he was shirtless half of the time.” Ness laughs as she hands Y/N’s water bottle to her. “Okay, we can admit it though. As a senior he is 10 times more attractive than he ever was. He looks like a frat boy that could jump my bones.”  Y/N stops walking and just stares at Ness while the girl continues to walk. She grabs her hand and pulls her forward. “Okay, I’m sorry for the bad comment.”
“He is hot though. Really hot.” Y/N smiles.
“See, that’s why you should sleep with him.”
“What are you crazy? Ness, Ryan would kill me or him -maybe the both of us!” 
“It’s pent up sexual frustration. Harry legit watched us walk out your door while eating a banana and you still managed to trip on your shoes.” She laughs.
“He was making eye contact with me!”
“All I’m saying is that he throws parties at his house and always invites us despite y’know us being juniors. Just offer, do it, slip out, and never say anything about it ever again.” Ness elbows Y/N as she crosses her arms. 
“Maybe I will.” She laughs pretending to actually sound confident in the idea.
“Good, there’s a party this Friday anyway.” Ness shrugs her shoulders. “It’s the best remedy sis.”
~
“Harry, can we talk?” Y/N follows him into the kitchen while everyone else is God knows where around the house. 
“Ryan is in the backyard, trying to get Cassidy back.” He barely glances at her as he pours himself a drink. He notices an empty one in her hand so he decides to pour coke in hers. 
“I um wasn’t really drinking coke.” She states confusedly as she watches the bubbles in her cup dissolve.
“You think I’m trying to get you drunk at this party. One alcoholic beverage is good enough for yeh.” He smiles at her as he screws the cap shut and taps the top of her head. He was treating her as if she was a child, which definitely pissed her off since she was going to ask him a really fucked up favour in the matter of 60 seconds.
“I can handle myself, you know.” 
“Yup.” He rests his back against the counter and bites the rim of the plastic cup as he looks at her. “What do you need though?” He genuinely asks her. Although they weren’t that close, Harry knew her long enough to know she wouldn’t start random a conversation with him. It was more like a hi and bye situation. Not her trying to actually talk to him. 
“I have a favour and you can’t tell Ryan.” Y/N lets out a big breath as she watches his reaction change into a confused one. 
“Look Y/N, if you want to try and smoke a blunt, I think it’s best you find yourself a dealer that doesn’t know your brother.”
“No, not that.” She whispers as she moves in closer. There were more people entering the kitchen and this was about to get really fucking awkward. 
“What?” He looks at her and notices her body shifting closer to him. Her chest was touching the side of his arm, making his eyes look towards the cabinets instead.
“I-”
“Yes?”
“Do you wanna fu-?” His eyes widen as he downs the rest of his drink in one go. Harry doesn’t even let her continue as he steps away from Ryan’s little sister. 
“I’m sorry do I already know the rest of that question?” He tries not to obviously choke on the liquid in his mouth.
“Well, I don’t know you didn’t really let me finish.”  Her sassy tone comes out. Her cheeks were really red and although Y/N came to the party with Ness feeling really confident in the dress she picked. She just wanted to go home and not show her face to him ever again. This was the stupidest idea! Why on earth did she think Harry would want to sleep with her when there are so many girls that try to get his attention. 
“I’m sorry Y/N.” He bites the inside of his cheek and watches some familiar people leave the room. Once it’s clear again, he speaks up. “Like are you serious?” He could feel his throat becoming more stuffy. “You and me?” She nods. “Really?” She nods again. “That’s crossing the line and Ryan is pretty overprotective. I can’t do that to him.”
“Cool.” Y/N stands perfectly still as she tries her best to maintain eye contact with him. She takes a sip of the coke but later, grabs the bottle of alcohol and pours it into her cup regardless of him watching her. “Well, don’t let Ryan know.” She shrugs her shoulders and laughs. “Thanks for answering my survey!” She gives him an awkward smile then walks out of the room. How can a guy pass up on her??? First rejection has gotta sting. 
This wasn’t some weird guy she was asking though. This was Harry, Ryan’s best friend. If Ness was put in his position, she wouldn’t want her to say yes either. God, she was also going to kill her best friend for putting the most ridiculous game plan in her head.
And although the party continued on, Ness and Y/N didn’t let the earlier events bother them. The two spent hours just fucking around until they found a comfy spot in the living room.
“Y/N, don’t look.” Ness sits beside her on Harry’s couch watching a few strangers play an unfamiliar game on the floor. 
“What?” she quickly looks up to see what Ness is talking about. It wasn’t a surprise to see Harry holding Carla Laws’s hand as they walked up the stairs. They looked pretty excited for a room tour too.
Oh hell no, everyone knows a girl doesn’t go to Harry Styles’ room to just hold hands and a cute sentimental room tour!
“Are you sure he didn’t want to with you?”
“Yes Nessa.” She rolls her eyes and drinks her third cup. “Whatever, if anything at least I don’t feel attracted to him anymore. I found a new ick. He doesn’t even find me attractive.”
“Good. Rejection may hurt but it makes you wake up and face reality.” 
~
Okay if there was one thing Y/N could say now, it was that she is finally over Harry. Overall, he was nothing but a phase. Yes, she was crushing on him for the first semester of the year but after that weird conversation they had, it made sense why they couldn’t work out anyway. He’s a stuck up douche - a typical senior, all while she was a junior who was either too infatuated with him or too horny. Maybe both?
It’s been about two weeks and although Ness made sure to keep trash talking the guy, Y/N knew there was more to him than what her best friend thought. She knew him for years! Maybe the fact he was athletic, charismatic and just kind that made her realize what a perfect guy he was. She knew he was a bit more complex than what other people thought of him and it wasn’t bad at all. 
What she never thought was how awkward it was going to be the next time she saw him. “Hey, Haz.” Ryan opens the door for his buddy as Y/N covers herself with the blanket more all while pretending to watch TV.
For the past couple of days, Ryan was going over to his house and maybe Harry asked him too to come over, but what she didn’t expect was to see him again so soon. 
“Hey Ryan.” Harry takes his jacket and boots off as it just begun to snow outside. “Hey Y/N.” She quickly glances at him and waves. 
“Let’s go to the kitchen first, I wanna get snacks.” Ryan suggests as he walks away, assuming Harry would follow him like usual. 
After thirty minutes, Y/N thought the boys would be upstairs but as she entered the kitchen wearing nothing but her shorts and her brother’s old t-shirt, she was surprised to see Harry and Ryan eating sandwiches at the breakfast bar, looking pretty serious. Did Harry tell him? 
As she walked closer, she noticed both boys were just on their phones, scrolling through different social media platforms. She quickly brushes past them to put her dish in the sink. Ryan seemed unbothered but she could definitely feel Harry’s eyes on her. Once she makes eye contact with him, he quickly takes a sip of his juice and looks at his phone once more. “Y/N can you grab the chips in the cabinet please?” Ryan looks up at his phone and notices his sister was standing right in front of the cupboard. 
“Yeah, no problem.” She turns her back on them and opens the cabinet. She goes on her tiptoes reaching for the only bag of chips. Once she grabs them, she puts them on the counter and walks out of the room, only hearing her brother murmur a thank you. 
It was about 6:30 PM and the parents weren’t home yet. Ryan and Harry decided to chill in the living room when the doorbell rang. Pausing the game, Ryan opened the door to see Tom standing in front of him. “Y/N it’s for you!” He calls out for his sister since he knew Tom was her friend.
“Who’s that?” Harry mouthed.
“Her boyfriend.” Ryan shrugs as he unpauses the game. 
“Tom? What are you doing here?” Y/N walks down the stairs, pulling her shirt down. 
“Vanessa told me to come by. Apparently you need help with the calculus homework? I’m free tonight anyway.” He smiles and gives her a hug. Tom was a really good friend of Ness and Y/N. He was a smart boy that was really kind and obviously had a big crush on Nessa. There was anything he could do for her. 
Y/N instantly bit her cheek and laughed as she remembered Ness’ text message a couple of hours ago when she told her Harry came by. This was definitely one of Ness’ master plans. “You’re so sweet.” She pulls away and laughs. “We can go upstairs, I have a few questions to ask.” She quickly glances at her brother who doesn’t care all while Harry tried his best to maintain his eyes on the screen. 
“Y/N, Put some shorts on!”  Ryan finally yells out as the two went up the stairs. 
“I don’t get why he throws parties every weekend.” Ness takes a sip of her drink as they sit inside Harry's dining room. They probably weren’t going to stay too long. Everyone was inside due to the cold weather with the occasional smokers outside. Being the only few juniors, there wasn’t much the girls could do other than loiter around, drink a few cups and play the games they knew so well. Y/N wasn’t the type to have random hook ups but you know her exception with Harry. 
“Gemma has gone off for college and Anne is always working really late shifts at the hospital. He’s pretty much anywhere and everywhere besides his house unless it’s a party.”
“True.” 
“I’m going to say bye to my brother then we can head back to mine if you want?” Y/N offers as Nessa nods and downs her drink. 
“I’m going to drink a cup of water. Meet you at the front?”
“Mhm.” They both stand up and leave the room. Nessa was heading straight to the kitchen while Y/N began to wander around the house. 
“Y/N.” Harry calls out her name over the music. He was wearing a while long sleeved shirt that was unbuttoned. It made him look really attractive which almost made Y/N lose her breath. 
“Hey Harry, You know where Ryan is?” The only typical thing she would ever ask him before that one time. (Pretending as if she didn’t sexually harass him last time.) 
“He’s downstairs with the rest of the boys.” He glances around at everyone and looks at her once more. “I’m sorry, are you um- leaving?”
“Yeah me and Nessa are going to call it a night.” She wraps her hoodie around her figure and tries to make her way to the stairs. 
“Want me to give you girls a ride?”
“No no, it’s okay!” She smiles and waves her hand at him. “Nessa drove. You also have a party to h-”
“It’s kind of late maybe she should head home and we can-” And that’s when it hit her. Was Harry Styles trying to isolate her? 
“Oh.” She widens her eyes and slowly nods. “Okay. I’ll let my brother and Ness know. Should I meet you in your car outside?”
“Yeah.” He runs his hand through his hair and quickly leaves her side. After bidding her farewell to Ryan and explaining her interpretation of Harry to Ness, she was  quietly leaving the house as she watched Nessa walk by herself to the car down the street. What surprised Y/N more was to see him in his brown jacket standing by the passenger door. 
“Did you tell Ryan I was dropping you off?” He  nervously smiles as he opens the door for her. He makes sure no one is watching them leave together as he feels the butterflies forming in his stomach. 
“No.” She puts her hood on and sits in his car. She was picking on her stockings trying to avoid the awkward tension between them. Once Harry sat inside and they both put their seatbelts on, they were on their way to her house. It was weird knowing she was actually leaving a party with her brother’s best friend so she could suck his- 
 “What happens if they notice you’re gone?”
“Um, I’m sure they’ll think i'm elsewhere doing stuff.” She knew what he was thinking about and that made her a bit uncomfortable but it didn’t change the fact it was true.
“Are you still down to y’know?” Harry honestly never thought he would be this nervous talking to Ryan’s little sister. 
“Yeah.” She bites her lip as they glance at each other. 
“Cool. Are you like a virgin or something. I mean is there anything that I should know about?”
“No.” She shakes her head and low-key observes how he drives. 
This was going to be one hell of a night. 
Harry has seen Y/N’s room a countless number of times but to actually be with her by themselves in Ryan’s house made him feel really guilty. That guilt however, was shoved in the back of his throat. The girl in the room with his was obviously the best distraction. “I like your room.” he smirks at her as he looks at her soccer trophy collection from grade school. 
“Thanks.” She laughs lightly as she takes off her jacket. She quickly texts an update to Ness before putting the phone on do not disturb. 
“So before we start, what made you ask the offer?” He takes his jacket off and throws it on her chair. He sits on her bed and glances at the time. It was still early, so people probably weren’t going to be looking for him. 
“This is going to sound really dumb but I’ve had this crush on you since the cruise last summer. Well, you know Nessa... she had this thought and she thinks it is just pent up sexual frustration?” She shakes her head of saying the whole idea out loud. “So I thought maybe I should just get it out of my system.” Harry laughs as he takes in of what she just said. it made her smile as well.
“You were checking me out all summer?” He asks her in disbelief. “Little Y/N wanted to jump my bones?” He started to smirk at her. Although they didn’t know each other too well, the awkward tension was gone with just one simple laugh of his. 
“Stop laughing.” She throws a pillow at him. “I didn’t think you would say no.”
“I didn’t want to say no Y/N are you crazy? I’m laughing because I kept checking you out in those tiny bikinis you used to wear.” He throws the pillow to the side and shakes his head. “I don’t want to cross Ryan like that but I think i need to get you out of my system too.”
“Mhm and why’s that?” She locks her door and sits on the bed with him. “Because Carla couldn’t distract me from seeing you in my sheets.” He leans in and kisses her. “Tom coming by a few days ago with you wearing nothing but those little shorts was already making me lose my mind.” He whispers and kisses her again. 
Y/N immediately sits on his lap while trying her best to keep his mouth on her’s. Everything about this was so hot. She was about to just rip his clothes off. 
“One and done yeah?” Y/N rubs herself on him as her fingers tangle themselves in his hair. He kisses down her neck while grabbing her ass. 
“One and done. Just to get you out of my system.” He confirms with her as he gently throws her on the bed. He’s pulling his long sleeve off and taking his shirt off but once he begins unbuckling his jeans, he couldn’t help but notice Y/N trying to take her shirt off as well. “Fuck.” He murmurs as he gently unbuttons her long sleeve to help her take it off. In a flash, he’s on his knees unzipping her skirt and taking her stockings off as well. “You looked really pretty tonight by the way.” His cheeks flush as he throws her bottoms behind his back. Y/N laughs quietly and she sits up and brings his face closer to hers. 
“I actually would like to say the same exact thing.” He leans in to kiss her once more. Her lips were extremely soft and forbidden and it was making him slowly lose his mind all over again. Y/N thought Harry was just a phase but that seemed impossible as she was already dreading the fact this was a one and done situation. 
“You’re just so fucking soft and alluring.” He whispers in her ear as he unclasped her bra. “I already know I need to fuck you hard.” Y/N eyes’ roll back as she feels his wet mouth on her nipple as the other one massaged the other. Her hands were trying really hard to focus on the task at hand which was to undo his pants but it was definitely not working with the way he was distracting her. Not a single thought could process in her mind.
“I think since this is a one and done situation, you better make this memorable.” She whispers and bites her lip as she tries to hold back a moan. His fingers were teasing her covered entrance but Harry could feel her drenched spot already clenching at his presence. 
“Memorable? I’ll definitely leave my mark on you.” He sucks on her mouth more roughly than usual as he rubs his fingers on her centre. “You wanted me so bad baby? You just had to beg me huh?” He gestures his hips more forward to help her with his pants. 
“I’m kind of new to this. Be a bit patient.” Y/N laughs as she gently unzips his pants after numerous attempts.  
“You just ruined the moment.” He laughs with her as he kisses her forehead and takes his pants off as well. “Just kidding, this is probably the most fun I had.” He hovers over her again and teases her entrance. 
“What do you mean?” She lays on her back and roams her hands all over his chest. 
“Never got the chance to tease the fuck out of a pretty girl then fuck her hard.” He slaps her clit and bites down on her lip. She suddenly lets out a moan that makes her eyes flutter and her chest rise closer up to his face. 
He brings two of his fingers to her mouth and slowly lets her lick on it before rimming her entrance and shoving it in without any warning. His thumb slowly rubs her swollen numb as he can’t help but rub himself on her sheets as well. “You mind if I get a little bit of a taste? I’ve been dying to know. I saw you earlier at the party and I had to jerk myself off seeing you in those little stockings of yours.” 
“You. You jerked yourself off thinking about me, baby?” She looks down at him and smiles softly. He gives her a little smirk before pulling his hand away and heading his head down a bit south. His tongue dips slowly on the left side of her leg as his hands grip her thighs tightly, sure of the bruises to form soon.
“You’re like a fucking wet dream. How can I say no to you?” He urgently swipes his whole tongue on her centre. “I saw you earlier and had to go to my room.” He takes another lick. “Fuck baby, the best i’ve fucking tasted. Fuck oh fuck.” He precisely observes the way your whole swallows his fingers in and clench so tightly around him. His tongue dipping and switching with his fingers because he honestly can’t decide which is best. 
“Harry, fuck me please baby.” Y/N moans loudly as she harshly grabs on her boobs. She’s never been fucked this good. It was honestly feeling like a dream. With that being said, she’s only had sex a handful of times but Harry seemed like such an expert in the field. “Oh God.” She tries to pull away. She wasn’t sure if she could continue on with Harry obsessively licking and sucking on her wet centre. 
He looks up and watches her eyes roll back as her fingers begin to pull on his head aggressively. His only reflex is to spread her legs wider. After her first orgasm, Y/N lays on her back staring at her ceiling trying to catch her breath. 
“Fuck me.”
“We aren’t done yet, love.” He laughs at her cuteness. He can’t remember the last time where he wasn’t rushing to finish himself off. He was taking his time with Y/N since it’s what she deserves. He lays down beside her and kisses down her chest. “Tell me when you’re ready to go, yeah?” He dips his tongue on her shoulder until it reaches the huge hickey he left on her collarbone. He gently licks around it and sucks on it again. 
He was a bit surprised to see Y/N sit up and grab a condom from her drawer. “Thank you for fucking the shit out of me, I’ll gladly return the favour.” She smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear as she focuses on putting the contraceptive on him. Just touching it was already forming butterflies in her stomach. 
“I could’ve been fucking you on that cruise.” he mischievously smiles at her as he watches the way her pretty tits move. 
“You were sharing a room with my brother.” She hisses as she holds onto his shaft trying to gently ease the pain as she fully sits on him. 
“But you were alone.” He grabs onto her waist and helps her. “You’re so beautiful fuck.” He sits up on her headboard as her palms rest on his chest. Both of their eyes couldn’t help but watch the way he was easily penetrating her. 
“Was touching myself because of you.” She mumbles out as her speed begins to increase.
“What did you say baby?” He almost chokes on his breath as he can feel her fully taking him in. 
“Couldn’t stop thinking of you on that cruise. I needed you to rail the fuck out of me.” She moans louder as she starts to feel his hips meet her. 
“Fuck me. So perfect, Shit.” He quickly turns them around and shoves himself back into her. His hand immediately tightens around her neck and once he is about to pull it away, she keeps his hand on her. 
“Fuck me harder.” She cries out as his arm begins to push her legs up. He spits in between their centres before thrusting as hard as he can. All you could hear was her headboard banging against the wall as his hand continuously choked the fuck out of her. 
“I bet you like getting spanked too huh?” He bites his lip and semi turns her body before slapping her ass. 
“Harry fuck.”
“Come on, baby. Be a good girl and come around my cock.”
“Fuck fuck fuck.” Y/N cries out as her fingernails scratch his back. “Come in my mouth. I want to taste you so bad please.” tears begin to form in her eyes as she continues to clench around his dick. Harry immediately pulls off the condom and helps her sit up on her knees. She absolutely could not feel a thing below her stomach but with Harry’s hard cock in her mouth, she was already closing her eyes and trusting him with everything she was. She’s never been this fucking vulnerable, she was literally about to pass the fuck out. 
She was softly holding onto his thighs but her hands found comfort on his waist as he began to fuck her mouth harder. Harry on the other hand, kept his eyes on how her mouth was taking him in. He watched the way his fingers wrap around her hair tightly as he brought his hips closer and closer until he could feel her gagging on his dick. Without a warning, he immediately pulls out and spills all over her face.
“Why’d you do that?” She opens her eyes and pouts. She was pretty upset how she couldn’t taste him spill into her mouth. So her finger immediately takes a swipe of his spill and puts it in her mouth. Without hesitation, she’s taking his forming soft dick in her hands before softly licking it clean and softly sucking on his balls. She takes his shaft and swipes her cheek once more before licking the rest of his spill from his shaft. 
“You’re going to make me hard again if you keep doing that baby. Might not be as nice as I was this time.” 
“Maybe I want another round?” She gestures him to lie down as she continues to kiss and suck on his cock. 
“Thought it was a one and done.” He softly smiles as he removes some of the hair from her face.
“How about a one and done night?”
“Deal.”
And although they thought this was crossing a line, they already knew the moment their lips touched, they wouldn’t be able to stop.
~
“Wait so he changed his mind!” Nessa laughs as they drive back home. “Bitch how are you at school today? I literally saw you limping at lunch.”
“Shut up.” Y/N mouth widens as she rubs her face. “I don’t know what happened okay? We said one and done but we honestly went a couple of rounds before I had to wake him up so he could drive back home.”
“But is he out of your system? Don’t get me wrong Harry’s a fine guy but like dating wise? He’s been with other girls but somehow always goes back to Carla. They’ve been like that before you and Ryan moved here.” 
“Yeah, he’s out of my system.” Y/N laughs but truth be told, some nights when she can’t sleep, she’ll find herself staring at the ceiling. 
“Why are you guys home so early?” Nessa asks once they step inside the house. There was a good comparison between Nessa and Ryan with Y/N and Harry. First off, Nessa literally saw Ryan as her older brother which meant they were pretty vocal towards each other. Secondly, Nessa was very comfortable at Y/N’s house almost as if this was her second home. 
“Carla and Cassidy are coming over.” Ryan smirks as Harry cleans the living room behind him. “During the party last night, I may have asked if they wanted to come over for a double date game night thing. Mom and Dad are cool with it since it's a Monday which is their date night too.
“Oh have fun.” Y/N buds in and laughs. “Make sure to actually vacuum please. You don’t want the girls finding your crumbs on the carpet.” She takes her jacket off as Nessa follows behind her up the stairs. Harry obviously tried to ignore the fact, she bluntly ignored him. 
“Double date? Damn, you guys really did just fuck and brushed it under the carpet.”
“It meant nothing right. So?” Y/N tries to brush off the topic as she sets her backpack down. “Why won’t you sit down?” “On that bed?” Nessa smiles awkwardly as she glances at the double bed near the wall. 
“I changed the sheets.” Y/N takes her shirt off and replaces it with another loose top. She unzips her pants and wears her black tights instead.
“So should we invite ourselves to their double date?” Nessa raises her eyebrows as she lays down on the bed. 
“No because it’s weird and I don’t want Harry to think I’m jealous.”
“I think you are.”
“Nope, I told you I don’t like him like that anymore and he’s out of my system.” She tries to ignore the fact, how she swallowed him without hesitation.
“Okay but wouldn’t it be better to prove to yourself you are just by being around him.” And although Y/N wanted to protest that, the two best friends ended up being invited by Ryan to play downstairs anyway. 
“You girls want a refill?” Ryan sits up from the coffee table as he cleans up the empty red cups. Ness, Carla, and Cassidy wanted a new one which made Y/N go help her brother out in the kitchen. 
“Are you having fun?” Ryan asks as he throws the cups in the recycling. Y/N pours the preferred drinks in the new cups as she looks up at her brother. 
“Yeah, I was wondering why you invited Ness and I. Don’t you think we’re cock-blocking?”
“Harry suggested you guys hang out with us while we played games. More competition is fun y’know. Plus you and Nessa can leave whenever.”
“Oh cool. Thanks, I guess?” 
“Yup.” He grabs two cups as she does. She couldn’t help but notice how Ryan suddenly started cheering. “Yeah, Styles get it! Woooo!” Y/N turns her eyes to notice Harry and Carla making out on the floor by the coffee table. 
“Are you guys dating again?” Cassidy laughs as she tries not to watch them make out.
“Sure.” Carla pulls away and pecks his cheek. Nerissa was just watching Y/N’s reaction and she knew it was a bad one. 
“Y/N could you walk me to the car? Appa just texted me and he’s wondering where I am. I forgot it was his birthday.” Nessa speaks up.
“Oh shit.” Y/N was clueless of her excuse. Which thankfully made her seem more genuinely in a rush to get out of the room. She sets the drinks on the table before going upstairs with Ness.
“How did you forget it was Appa’s birthday, Ness?” 
“I don’t know.” She packs her things up. “Why don’t you come with me? He’s gonna blow his cake soon.”
“Oh, I don’t want-”
“Come.” And if there was one thing Y/N knew well about Nessa, it was that she wouldn’t ever forget it was Appa’s birthday, especially if she just celebrated it a couple of months ago. Without a fight to say no, Y/N immediately grabs a hoodie as they walk down the stairs. 
“Ryan, I’m going to Ness’ to celebrate Appa’s birthday. I’ll be home soon before Mom and Dad comes home.”
“Oh okay.” Ryan waves at his sister as his arms rests on Cassidy’s shoulder. 
“Bye guys!” Ness and Y/N wave as they both exit the house immediately. Harry stays unbothered as he takes another sip of his beer. 
“Thank you for getting me the fuck out of there.” 
“It’s okay. We don’t actually have to leave you know. It’s 6 PM, I can drive the car to a different neighbourhood and you can cry all about him there.”
“I love you.” Y/N begins to tear up. 
“I love you too.”
~
“What’s Tom doing here?” Ryan’s eyes are in shock as he watches his sister hold hands with the familiar boy. What’s confusing is that Y/N went to Ness’ for a birthday. 
“He just wanted to come over.” She smiles innocently as she waves hi to the same party. It was just about 7 PM and the double date duo was watching an unfamiliar movie on TV. Nessa called Tom and Y/N had to explain their situation. Although he didn’t really want to do it. He knew Y/N wanted to prove something to the Harry guy. So as long as they didn’t do anything romantic or weird that would cross his boundaries, Tom was okay with it. 
“Aw, I didn’t know you were dating Thomas?” Cassidy smiles as she walks in with a bowl of popcorn. She hands it to Carla who is cuddling up against Harry on one of the sofas.
“We aren’t dating.” They both look at each other and laugh. Tom shakes his head and pulls Y/N up the stairs instead. 
Once the pair is gone, the dates begin to watch their movie again. “Ryan, you really don’t care if your sister is by herself with that boy?” Carla laughs as she feeds herself and Harry popcorn.
“I’m definitely not going to interfere with that, they’re probably doing the nasty already.” His eyes widen as he stuffs more popcorn down his mouth and although, Harry was keeping his eyes on the screen, there wasn’t anything sitting well with him knowing the girl he was with on the weekend was already in somebody else’s arms. 
The goal was to get each other out of their systems, why the fuck are they so jealous then?
great plan Vanessa. 
Part deux ici 
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deidearly · 3 years
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Kakashi Relationship Headcanons
Guess who’s back with another relationship headcanon today? And as usual, I had a good time writing this one even got slightly carried away, hehe. Enjoy! XX. 
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Well— Hatake Kakashi, huh? Dating him would be such a roller coaster ride, tbh. It’s like, one moment he’s so clingy, fragile, so afraid of losing you— but one moment he’s like, “Just do what you need to do. I don’t really care.” This is due to the fact that he’s got a lot of things in his mind and occasionally struggled to sort out his priorities. 
Anyway, of course you’ve complained about his ‘reading-smut-in-public’ issue, especially when you’re together. You two would come up with an agreement somehow. But to piss you off, he’d pretend like you’re the one who’s obsessed with reading smuts.
You’re browsing for some important books and he playfully yelled, “Y/N! Come here, it’s your favorite book— Icha Icha Tactics! My, I know you’ve had four books, but another one won’t hurt, right? Since you love it that much!” making everyone in the bookstore giggled.
He received “Y/N Signature Punch” that day.
To your surprise, he’s not very secretive about his relationship with you. In fact, you’ve caught him frequently use you as an excuse for him to escape some unwanted occasions.
Let’s say Gai was asking Kakashi to fight him like usual— and he wasn’t having it that day. “Gai, with all respect— I would gladly accept your challenge. But can’t you feel the springtime of romance youth is blooming? I must see Y/N immediately.”
Gai’s tearing up.
Don’t worry, he actually went to your place.
“Yo. Can we hang out? I just told Gai that I would come to your place. Please say ‘yes’ to make me less of a jerk, will you?”
Would totally show up in front of your place at an ungodly hour.
At first it surprised you but now you’re used to it.
You just finished your mission, it went pretty well but you felt there were some wasted chances due to your captain’s miscalculation. It’s nearly 2 AM but you caught yourself wide awake, reviewing back your battle– only to got distracted by a knock on your bedroom’s window. Instead of turning your head in surprise, you already knew who it was. To have a little fun for yourself, you ignored the sound, which was later followed by a second knock. Walking over to the window, you saw a silver-haired man with a mask. Although half of his face was covered, it’s obvious that a smile was apparent. “Yo.” he greeted, but you replied with a sigh. “You could actually knock on the door and I’d let you in through the door. It’s something normal people would do, Kakashi.” you grumbled, opening the window for him to get in. “Ah, spare me the lecture!”
So, reverse psychology works best for Kakashi. Like the Icha Icha Tactics– the more you ignore his behavior, he would actually try not to read his book in public like you told him to. But the more you complain, he’d read it in places where he shouldn’t be reading it at all. This method works in almost every cases.
You’ve been dating for weeks, but you haven’t seen his face.
Yes, when kissing, too.
You’ve had enough of kissing fabric. 
You had planned to make a dinner together at his place. He was preparing the dishes and you’re about to finish your cooking, when he suddenly asked, “Hey, Y/N. Have you ever wondered what would I look like under this mask?” You were dying to know actually. So, now you’re stuck with two options: (a) be honest about it, (b) pull out another reverse psychological answer— and you chose the latter. “Huh? Not really,” you shrugged, “I don’t really care so it’s not like I’m eager to see it.” and of course, this was a lie. Kakashi went silent for a while. “Anyway, dinner’s re—“ you swore you could’ve dropped the whole pan when you saw an unfamiliar presence. “Kakashi?” you asked hesitantly. The man looked up with a questioning look, “Why are you blushing?” he replied casually.
“ANYONE WITH A DECENT EYESIGHT WOULD BLUSH TOO, YOU STUPID.”
He’s honestly so heavenly to look at.
Sometimes it’s just too overwhelming to see his whole face, you thought.
It’s safe to say that it’s a privilege to be able to see his face. But due to his immense charm, you’d prefer to have him with a mask on.
“Y/N, I feel naked without my mask—“ , “And I honestly feel like I’m being forced to see an illicit nudity, too. Put your mask on, it’s fine honestly.”
He’s been very good at his job for almost his whole life, a fine shinobi. So, he’s rarely exposed to mundane things, moreover a relationship. Thus, making him quite restrained in expressing himself. Plus, he was labelled with some negative titles, saying how cold-blooded he was and he just decided to live with it. This, obviously, requires a lot of patience.
But he’s determined to change, the first step he took was letting you in— into his life.
It started rocky, though.
He’d say something like how he didn’t care much about you and sadly, he really didn’t.
But as the time went by he realized how your presence has been the one that helped him through it. How you’ve always been there to comfort him, by listening to him, giving him a lot of supports, or simply by reminding him that he’s not completely alone.
And when that moment came, he’s sworn to protect you with all his might.
He had a lot of nightmares, he still does, unfortunately. But when you’re around, your presence eases him up a little.
When you’re not around, however, he’d rather spend all night unhealthily tiring himself until he fall asleep.
His personal favorite would be curling up next to you with his hand around your waist while hiding his face near the crook of your neck as he’s giving you some soft neck kisses.
Again, NECK KISSES.
He had a hard time trying to open up himself fully to you and this applies to romantic gestures, I believe. He surely would take his time to explore you, what you like, and what he likes.
Would shower you with kisses, all over your face without missing a spot. He greatly admires every inches of yourself. 
Body worship, oof.
Lowkey (semi highkey) protective.
Lowkey (semi highkey) a show-off.
Would straight up jump to save you if it’s necessary.
And since he’s a show-off, he lowkey loves PDA— but the soft ones, of course. You two would always get spotted together. He would casually sling his arm around your shoulder or lazily has his hand wrapped around your waist.
Favorite time to spend with you is training together. No matter how many times you’ve told him to “fight with an intent to win” he simply refuses— saying how, he’s “far too powerful” for you.
But deep down he just doesn’t want to hurt you…
Chatting in the middle of a training
“Tsunade-sama hasn’t assigned me any missions lately *throws kunai*” , “Maybe if you threw your kunai accurately, she will. *dodge kunai*” , “Kakashi, shut your pretty mouth up. *throws MORE kunai aggressively*”
When you turned him down while he was showing off his new tricks, though, it weirdly turned him on.
He loves someone powerful, with a right amount of cocky.
Doesn’t talk big. He’s a man of action— his action speaks louder than words!
Doesn’t spoil you that much, though. Because it’s actually him who needs to be spoiled.
Really loves it when you trace your fingers all over his skin— it’s intimately soft, he claimed.
LOVES YOUR SCENT. Has it memorized probably.
He’d prefer someone independent. Someone who could actually take care of themselves instead of relying on him completely. 
Anyone too childish would remind him of Team 7, tbh.
Speaking of Team 7, they would probably be the one to get introduced to you.
Naruto was so shocked to find out that his sensei was capable to develop a romantic feeling towards someone. But he had his doubt— do you really know Kakashi? He started to bombard you with questions to test your knowledge.
“So, do you know what’s Kakashi Sensei’s favorite—“ , “I’ve seen his face. Multiple times.” , “YOU WHAT?”
Complained and sulked about it, “Kakashi Sensei, we’ve trained together for years. How could you?!”
Sakura was confused.
“How? I know he’s probably very handsome under that mask but come on, Y/N, reading smut in public? That’s an absolute no.”
On the contrary, Sasuke was thrilled, internally.
“Yeah. Finally. Old man has someone to annoy besides us. About time.”
He has a pretty bad behavior, too. Unlike Gaara, who’d put an emotionless facade when he’s only in the Kazekage mode, Kakashi would treat you just how he feels like doing it that day. 
Let’s be real, he has so many bottled up feelings inside his heart so it’s not a surprise that someday, somehow, a random painful emotion just hit him— hard, and he shut himself out.
The hospital is the place you immediately visit right after Kakashi’s arrival after a mission because you know he’d be there— reading his book with a few bruises here and there. But this time was a bit different. When he’s hospitalized, he would whine about you not being able to stay more than an hour— but right now you’re puzzled, since he’s been completely silent and avoiding you, answering your questions with a mere shrugs.
Tsunade told you that the mission went pretty well, thanks to Kakashi for eliminating all the enemies on the field, singlehandedly. You automatically knew that it must brought up his past traumas. “Kakashi, it’s not your fault.” you decided to speak, earning a glance from Kakashi, but that’s it. “It’s a mission and you protected all of your comrades!”
“I killed them, Y/N. I didn’t have to, but I did.” he said, with his eyes still glued elsewhere. “Every time I look at my hands, I feel dirty. It reminded me of that—“, “Kakashi, look at me.”
You moved closer to his bed, reaching out your hand and traced your fingers softly on his face. His cheeks were cold, and you could clearly see how he was slightly trembling with teary eyes. “Kakashi, if you didn’t do it— it could’ve been your own comrades. Now they’re safe and sound, thanks to you.”, you paused as he slowly began to move his sight to you. “And if I could meet you way sooner, I would remind you every day that it’s never your fault— it’s never been. You’re a good person, Kakashi. I, and all of us, are forever thankful for the things you’ve done.” you whispered, now wiping a few tears that fell down to his cheeks. A weak smile started to bloom, “I’m forever thankful for you as well, Y/N.”
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tobesolonely · 3 years
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aura
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A/n: Hi everyone! this is a tad bit different from the things i usually write (I think) as i wanted to switch things up a little bit. I’m kinda nervous to post it so pleaseee please let me know your thoughts! As always please enjoy!! thank you to everyone who beta read for me btw :)
summary: witch!y/n can see auras and harry is blue
my ko-fi! thank you :)
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
Y/N has always been able to easily empathize with others. She could see others' emotional energy— their aura— and this made it easy to know exactly what they were feeling. Not only could she see auras, but she could take away anyone’s emotional turmoil just by touching them.
One of Y/N’s most vivid memories from her childhood was when her best friend came to school one morning in tears over the death of her pet fish. When Y/N leaned in to give her a hug, she felt an overwhelming heaviness overtake her body as soon as they made contact. Upon pulling away from the hug, her friend’s demeanor was completely changed. Instead of being sad over the death of her fish, she was able to instead reflect on all the good times she had with him. Her friend was fine for the rest of the day, but Y/N was left grieving over a fish she never even owned.
Y/N went home that day, confused. How was it that her friend was so easily cheered up just from a hug? Was that all it took for Y/N to make others feel better? If that was the case, she decided she wanted to be a ‘Professional Hugger’ when she grew up. As time went on, Y/N learned that she didn’t even have to hug others to rid them of their mental pain. The slightest touch from her instantly made anyone she came into contact with feel better.
It took a few months for Y/N to realize it was her touch that healed others. Sure, that mental anguish then became hers to carry, but how many people could say they could heal someone just by touching them? If that was the price she had to pay, then so be it. From that point on Y/N made it a point to help anyone she could. 
As Y/N got older and her skill with this power grew, she learned to redirect the painful energy elsewhere so she didn’t always have to sit with it. It worked some of the time, but it was something she was still learning to master. Y/N wasn’t always successful in doing this, though. While whoever Y/N touched went about their day feeling great, she would experience their emotions so intensely that she felt as if she were coming down with a cold. Y/N dealt with it in silence because the way she saw it if she was blessed with this gift, she had to be selfless and put it to good use. Y/N was a firm believer that all the good she put out would come back to her in another life at least ten times over.
It was difficult for Y/N not to touch everyone she saw whose aura reflected sadness, anxiety, or worry. She tried to stick to only doing this to people she knew, but there were some instances where Y/N encountered someone who was just so clearly unhappy that she could not help herself. 
For example, right now. 
Y/N immediately sensed this stranger’s emotional turmoil as soon as they entered the space. It was late afternoon on a Wednesday. Y/N had the longest, most physically demanding day at work and the last thing she wanted to do was go home and cook. Even though she had just gone grocery shopping two days prior, she stopped by her favorite Thai place on the way home. Y/N was in the middle of ordering when their presence quite literally took her breath away, causing her to stumble over her words. 
She turned to look over her shoulder at the person who was so greatly distracting her and locked eyes with the most pitiful looking stranger she’d seen all day. The first thing Y/N noticed about him was his hair. It was unruly, like he had just gotten out of bed. She also noticed how tall he was–– if he had just a couple more inches on him, he would’ve had to crane his neck to enter the establishment. Upon making eye contact with Y/N the man quickly looked down at his shoes, twiddling his thumbs. His aura was a mixture of indigo and dark red when Y/N looked at him. Anger and sensitivity.
“Do you still need a moment?”
The voice of the cashier breaks Y/N out of her analytical thoughts of the stranger standing a few feet behind her. She nods, re-situating her purse on her left shoulder. 
“Uh, please. He can go ahead if he’s ready.” Y/N gestures behind her and the cashier nods, asking the man behind her if he was ready to order yet. He steps up to the front counter, eyes trained on his feet as if he couldn’t walk without watching every step he took. 
His energy was intense and Y/N wasn’t sure how much longer she could ignore it. Something about him was reeling her in— his aura wasn’t looking too bright at the moment, but she could just tell it usually was. She felt compelled to take away his pain, and she hadn’t spoken a single word to him yet. While he was placing his order, Y/N internally debated on whether or not she should “accidentally” graze his arm when they walked past each other. Would that be weird? What if she wasn’t able to redirect his negative energy elsewhere? While she did love to help whenever she could, some people’s emotional baggage was just a little too heavy. She didn’t know him. For all she knew, he could be a killer!
He turns back around once he’s finished ordering and stands by the entrance, out of Y/N’s way. The pair lock eyes again as Y/N makes her way back to the counter to order. Once again, he quickly looked away from her. Y/N’s trying to ignore the annoying nagging feeling she gets when she wants to help someone, but it’s unrelenting. She makes up her mind that once she’s done, she will approach this stranger to get a better read on his emotions. 
“Nice weather we’re having today, isn’t it?” She cringes at her choice of a conversation starter and hopes he doesn’t notice. Y/N folds her hands across her chest, forcing herself not to reach out to him. He nods.
“Lovely.”
The tone of his voice causes Y/N to wince. It was sharp and short. He was clearly not in the mood to converse. Although Y/N knows this, she continues on.
“I love this place. I think I come here at least twice a month–– what’s your go-to order?”
The man turns to fully face Y/N this time, his aura now more red than blue. He was beginning to grow annoyed with her small talk. 
“Green curry and stir-fried vegetables.” He doesn’t ask Y/N for her order, so she takes this as her signal to stop speaking to him. The bell above the door jingles, signaling another persons’ entry. Their aura is shining gold–– Y/N would not have to interfere. 
Y/N moves away from this man, deciding not to speak to him anymore. She was getting better at accepting the fact that no matter how much she wanted to, it was impossible to help everyone. As he collected his food from the front and turned to leave, not sparing Y/N another glance, she silently hoped that whatever was wrong with this man would not last.
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Harry was in a funk. There was no denying it, and he was over feeling so terribly. He hadn’t been feeling like himself for far too long. It seemed like everyone wanted something from him when he had nothing left to give. Jeff had set unrealistic deadlines, his mother was upset with him for not calling enough, and he was exhausted from constantly traveling and waking up in a new time zone. Harry needed a break.
Harry’s mind wandered to the pretty girl in the Thai place. She seemed inquisitive. She was very curious about his go-to order, and she was standing a little too close for his comfort. Harry was surprised when she didn’t ask him for a picture. He wasn’t trying to be cocky, but nearly everyone he met asked him for a picture–– he was Harry Styles. However, it was almost like this girl didn’t know who he was. She didn’t seem starstruck in the slightest.
While Harry was waiting for the light to change, it dawned on him that he may have been a tad bit rude to her. He noticed her happy expression drop when he shut her down, but he didn’t feel like talking. He liked to move from place to place as quickly as he could in the off chance he got recognized and it started circulating on Twitter. Still, he couldn’t help feeling a little bad. She was sweet like honey–– or so it seemed. In their brief interaction, she bought him comfort.
Harry wanted to turn back around and go back to the restaurant to check if she was still there. What would be the point, though? She would most likely be long gone by the time he made it back over there, as she did order immediately after him. Harry’s torn out of his thoughts when the cars behind him start honking, and he realizes the light must’ve turned green. He decides not to think about the confrontation anymore. 
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The world works in mysterious ways. 
Y/N was sure she’d never encounter the grumpy man from her favorite Thai restaurant again but yet here she was in another situation that involved take-out and him. His aura was dark indigo this time. Stress? Isolation? Y/N didn’t know, but she wanted to help him. In her eyes, there was no reason for anyone to be down this badly. She just wanted everyone to be as happy as she (almost) always was! She takes a deep breath before approaching him.
“Hi. How are you?”
Harry was absorbed in a text conversation involving his manager and stylist when a sweet, familiar voice interrupts him. 
“I’m okay, thank you. Yourself? Also, we’ve spoken before, I believe.”
She nods, a troubled look on her face. “We have. At the Thai place. How are you, though? Really.”
Harry was beginning to find her a bit strange (but still incredibly gorgeous, even more than he did before now that he got a good look at her face). Why was she so concerned with how he was feeling? Was she going to ask him for a picture or not? As Harry opened his mouth to again tell her he was fine, the desire to tell her how he was really feeling came over him. So he did.
“Honestly? ‘M exhausted. I’ve been doing a lot of traveling and my manager wants a lot from me. I think I jus’ need a break.” 
He radiated red. Anxiety? Anger?
“What do you do for work?” Now it was Harry’s turn to wear the troubled look.
“I don’t mean this to be rude, but you’re serious?”
Y/N nods, reaching out to place her hand on his shoulder. Just as quickly as she touches him she removes her hand, and she’s almost certain he didn’t even feel her touch. She notices him let out a visible sigh of relief, his aura changing from a red to a pale yellow. Optimism. Positivity. This causes her to let out her own sigh of relief. 
“You’re feeling better! That’s great.” Y/N was not able to redirect his negative energy as the restaurant was too crowded and she didn’t want to risk putting it on anyone else, and she was feeling him. He was stressed, overworked, and anxious. Y/N just wanted to go home and nap, no longer in the mood for the food she just ordered.
Harry decided she was definitely odd but in the most endearing way possible. “How do you know I’m feeling better? Wait, am I feeling better?” Y/N watches as he works through his emotions, his aura ranging in color before settling back on pale yellow. 
“Are you?” Y/N knows the answer to this of course, but she wants to hear him say it.
“I think I am. I’ve been feelin’ horrible all week but saying how I felt out loud to you automatically made me feel better. Kind of weird, but I won’t question it. Thank you for asking…,” Harry scrunches his nose, a distasteful expression on his face. “I don’t think ‘ve gotten your name yet.”
Y/N gives him a small, forced smile. “I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N. It’s nice to meet you. I’ll be seeing you around, I think.” Before Harry can tell her his name she’s gone.
And she didn’t even grab her food.
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Y/N felt like she had been hit by a ton of bricks. How one person could carry around all this emotional baggage was beyond her, but she wanted it gone. Immediately.
There was a spell Y/N kept on hand for times like these. Times when she couldn’t redirect the negative energy before it got to her. Times when it was just too much to carry. Y/N had regretfully done this spell more times than she could count and was an expert at reciting it from memory. The vile was open and ready to capture the negative energy that would shortly be leaving her.
Y/N works quickly to complete the process, unsure of what time her roommate would come barreling through the door. She had caught her doing things she deemed strange one too many times (she thought her roommate almost figured out who she really was when she caught her having a full-on conversation with her cat, Sapphire, once). She was beginning to run out of excuses for her “unusual” behavior. Y/N mutters under her breath, willing the energy to exit her.
She notices right away when it leaves her. She feels lighter— like her usual self again. She guides the energy into the vile and immediately seals it, hurrying into her room to lock it away. Y/N kept a box in her closet that she only opened if she had to. It was her Pandora’s Box, in a way. Nothing bad would be released into the world if she opened the box, but if the viles’ were opened then the bad energy she trapped would be re-released into the world, finding its way back to their original owners.
Y/N feels like she can breathe again once she bolts the box. She hoped that whatever he was doing, wherever this man was, he was still feeling okay. 
Also, for his sake and everyone’s around him, she hoped he got a break.
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Y/N was on Harry’s mind. 
Something about her was magnetic. He wished he’d gotten more information about her than only her name, but she left him in such a hurry he could hardly process their conversation. Harry felt like a madman! He searched ‘Y/F/N Y/L/N’ on all social media platforms, but he couldn’t find her anywhere. It was dumb luck that he had ran into her twice in such a short time span, and he hoped good things happened in threes and he would see her again.
He was almost certain that Jeff thought he was losing his mind.
Harry tried explaining his interaction with Y/N first at the Thai food spot and again when he was getting Greek food, but Jeff thought Harry was so sleep deprived he was imagining things. 
“How did you see a beautiful, young woman who didn’t freak out or ask for a picture? Doesn’t make sense. You’re Harry Styles.”
“That’s what I thought!” Harry exclaimed wildly. He holds his phone up. “I’m thinkin’ she really doesn’t know who I am, though. I couldn’t find her on any social media platform. It’s like she’s off the grid or somethin’.”
“No social media at all? A little weird, isn’t it?”
“It’s fitting for her. If you met her then you would understand what I meant,” Harry felt the need to defend this alluring stranger who took away his pain just by listening to him speak. “Look at me, Jeff. Don’t I seem so much better than I was jus’ a few days ago?”
His manager couldn’t deny that Harry’s mood (and attitude) had done a 360. He didn’t complain about being woken up early and he happily consented to do not one, but two interviews.
“I mean, yeah? I guess––”
“Thanks to her!” Harry cuts him off. “I’m telling you. I need to see her again and thank her for whatever she did.”
“How are you going to do that?” 
Harry leaned back against the counter in Jeff’s kitchen, mulling the question over. It was a valid one. How was he going to do that? He already tried to no avail to find her on social media. He hardly knew anything about her. All he knew was her name, that they seemed to have a similar taste in food, and that she went to the Thai spot at least two times a month. 
That was it.
In one last effort to contact Y/N again, Harry planned to go to the Thai food place, pray the cashier who was working when he went in earlier this week was there, and leave his number with her. It was a risky move, probably not the smartest thing he could do, and Jeff would for sure drop him as a client if he knew Harry was doing things like this. Harry didn’t care. Phone numbers could always be changed, and he was desperate. 
If Harry couldn’t contact Y/N, he would wait for her to contact him.
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Y/N was confused.
She stopped at her favorite Thai food spot (sooner in the month than anticipated, but she had another long day), ordered her usual, and was about to leave when the sweet cashier who was always there insisted she takes the piece of paper with ‘HARRY’ followed by a phone number scrawled on it.
“For me?” Y/N was confused. Something like this had never happened to her before. I mean, does it happen to anyone?
“He insisted,” the cashier warmly responds. “I’ve been waiting for you to come back–– knew you would soon enough.” Y/N’s face flushes at this and she makes a mental note to start cooking more.
“Well…,” Y/N trails off, not sure what to say. “Thank you? I guess I’ll give him a call and let him know you’ve done well.” The cashier’s aura shines pink. Affection. Love.
“You should. Take care!”
Y/N leaves the restaurant with the crumpled piece of paper in her sweaty hands, eager to get home as soon as possible. She wasn’t sure what it was, but something told her not to disregard him. His reaching out was a sign–– and Y/N did not ignore signs.
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“She hasn’t called me yet.”
“It’s been five days, Harry. She probably doesn’t eat Thai food every day. I can’t believe you did something so fuckin’ stupid…”
Jeff’s reprimanding fades into the background as Harry drifts off into daydreaming about what it would be like if– when- Y/N finally called him. Would she find him obsessed? What if she thought he was stalking her? Harry decided that when she called, he would immediately clear things up. He’d thank her for her kindness (his trademark) and see how she was doing. She left the Greek food place so abruptly when he last saw her that he was under the impression something was bothering her. Harry wasn’t sure what he could do to help if something was troubling her, but he could at least extend a listening ear to her as she did to him.
“Harry, are you listening?”
“What was that?”
Jeff shakes his head at Harry, an amused expression on his face. “Man, I hope she calls you soon.”
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The phone rang three times. After the third ring, his gruff voice came through the other end of the phone.
“Hello?”
Y/N sharply inhales, suddenly growing nervous. “Is this Harry?” Silence. Y/N was preparing to repeat herself when he spoke again.
“Is this Y/N?”
Now it’s Y/N’s turn to be silent. Harry says nothing, awaiting her response. “Well, it is. You sound familiar–– how do we know each other?”
“Now that ’m actually able to talk to you, it sounds a bit silly…” He seems unsure of himself. “Promise y’won’t laugh at me?”
“I promise.”
Y/N says it with such conviction that Harry believes her, and it gives him the confidence he needs to proceed. “I was havin’ a hard time a couple of weeks ago. I was in line to get some falafel and you asked me what was wrong. What was really wrong.” Y/N says nothing, so Harry continues.
“I told you I was exhausted from work ‘nd wanted a break. That’s it, y’know? But I immediately felt better afterward. I’ve actually been feelin’ great ever since. I jus’ wanted to thank you, is all. I know it sounds weird and it’s probably all in m’head but I feel like talkin’ with you was just what I needed.” Harry’s rambling, nerves finally catching up to him. She was gorgeous and he was afraid she would think he was insane. 
“I’m glad to hear you’re still feeling better, Harry. That’s great.” Y/N’s voice is gentle and soft and to Harry, hearing her speak was just as comforting as getting a hug from his mum.
“I’m also really sorry that I was such a dick when you tried talkin’ to me the first time at the Thai spot,'' Harry feels embarrassed, stumbling over his words. “Not sure if you remember but I was just havin’ a shit day. I thought you were gonna ask for a picture and I just wasn’t in the mood.”
Y/N doesn’t say anything and Harry winces, certain he’s offended her when she starts talking again. 
“That’s okay. I know you were having a bad day.” 
“How did you know I was having a bad day?” Again, Y/N pauses before answering. 
“Well, I didn’t do anything to you for you to be so rude to me. I knew it had to be a problem involving yourself.” Harry notices that Y/N speaks very slowly. It’s as if she considers every word before she speaks. He’s intrigued by her. 
“That is very true.” Y/N doesn’t say anything so Harry takes it as his cue to keep talking. “I’m sorry if me leaving my number at the restaurant creeped you out. I hope you didn’t feel obligated to call me.”
“Not at all. I’ve actually been wondering how you were doing since we had our encounter at the Greek place–– that doesn’t creep you out either, right?”
Y/N was hypnotizing. Harry was infatuated. 
“Not at all.”
“Can I ask you something, Harry?”
“Course.”
“Why would I want a picture with you?”
Harry had to get to know her.
“Do y’wanna grab coffee sometime?”
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Something was definitely different about Y/N–– Harry just couldn’t put his finger on what it was. To begin, she truly had absolutely no idea who Harry was. At first, he thought she was just messing with him, but he quickly realized she was being serious. Y/N said she had “heard of” One Direction, but she never listened to the band’s music. Harry supposed that could account for her being unaware as to who he was. Maybe he wasn’t a “household name” like Jeff always said he was. 
Harry was also right about her not having social media. When he asked Y/N why she didn’t use it, she said she preferred to occupy her time with more substantial things. She didn’t elaborate, and Harry didn’t ask. She was however very interested to learn what a big social media following Harry had. He tweeted the word “Do” and they watched as the internet went wild trying to decipher what he meant. He even started trending worldwide for it. It made sense to Y/N after that why Harry was so intent on not taking off his sunglasses and beanie.
Y/N was having a great time analyzing his aura. 
She noticed that whenever someone glanced in their direction, his aura briefly turned red. Anxiety. When Y/N attempted to make a joke, it turned pink (she chose not to analyze that too much). Mainly though, his aura shone that beautiful, pale yellow that Y/N loved to see the most. Harry was doing well. He was happy. Y/N would not have to intervene today.
She couldn’t explain why, but she felt obligated to help him. Even though his energy made her feel so terribly last time, she would’ve still taken away his pain if he was blue without even thinking twice about it. Why was she so drawn to him? Y/N wasn’t sure what it was about Harry that drew her in, but she knew she would do anything to help him. Anything to see him happy.
Unbeknownst to Y/N, Harry felt the same way.
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Y/N missed Harry terribly.
She wanted to call him–– just a brief conversation to see if he was doing okay. He mentioned when they last saw each other nearly two weeks prior that he was going to be very busy in the coming days, and she wondered if he still was. Harry told Y/N that he loved his job (of course he did!), but being so busy sometimes really hurt him. Not just mentally, but physically as well. 
She longed for him.
Y/N searched through her call list for Harry’s number and immediately tapped it, listening closely as it rang. She was about to end the call in defeat when Harry answered at the last moment.
“Hello?” He sounded tired, under the weather.
“Harry,” Y/N begins. “I haven’t heard from you in a bit and I just wanted to see if all was well. How do you feel?”
“Hi Y/N,” Harry perks up slightly, but he still sounds a bit congested. “‘M not sure if you can tell from m’voice, but I’ve got a cold.”
Although Y/N wishes with every fiber of her being that she could rid Harry of his cold, she cannot. However, she can make sure all is well with his mind. 
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she pauses for a moment as she usually does, hoping Harry can tell how sincere she’s being on the other end. “How do you feel though? Are you still feeling happy?”
“Jus’ feelin’ not the greatest again. I’ve been stuck in my house with this fuckin’ cold and haven’t seen anyone in days.”
“I can come over.” Y/N doesn’t think twice before offering. If he had to suffer physically, she at least wanted him to feel okay mentally.
“I don’t want to get you sick. It’s okay–”
“I don’t mind, really. I’ll keep you company.”
Harry doesn’t say anything and Y/N’s sure she must’ve creeped him out. They don’t even know each other well and here she was offering to come over to his home and keep him company while he was sick. She’s about to rescind her offer when he lets out a loud sigh.
“My manager might kill me if he finds out I did this… but sure, let me give you my address.”
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As soon as Harry got off the phone, he sprung into action. His home was a mess. There were crumpled up tissues all over the floor beside his bed, a sink full of dishes, and he’s pretty sure every bathroom in his house was a mess. He opted to not have anyone over to clean up after him as he didn’t want to risk getting anyone sick and man did it show.
He quickly gathered up all the tissues and threw them into the bin in the corner of his bedroom, surveying the rest of the mess before deciding he and Y/N wouldn’t be spending time in there, anyway. He was going to focus on the mess downstairs, instead. He loaded his dishwasher and record time and used disinfectant wipes on every surface he could in the kitchen, dining room, and living room. He then surveyed the bathrooms and cleaned the one with the least amount of mess, closing the doors to the other ones. He would worry about those some other time. 
Harry was nervous to have Y/N over. He was just nervous to be around her in general. He missed her over the past couple of weeks but he opted out of contacting her, terrified that he was a bother. After Harry finished cleaning in record time, it dawned on him that he didn’t really have any food prepared to offer Y/N. If she was coming over to his house just to cheer him up, the least he could do was offer her something to eat. Harry hated doing things like this, but he was desperate. He texted his assistant and asked if they could drop off some food from the Greek place he and Y/N liked, making a mental note to find out what other places she enjoyed eating at for next time.
Y/N gets to his house much sooner than he was anticipating.
He rushes to his front door, looking through the peephole before opening the door. Y/N has a big smile on her face and looks absolutely gorgeous, as she usually does. She has a huge water bottle in one hand and a tote bag with the phases of the moon slung over her shoulder. He’s never seen it before and thinks it’s lovely.
“Hi,” Harry says breathlessly. “Thanks for coming. Uh, come in please.”
Y/N smiles and takes a small step forward, crossing the threshold of Harry’s home. She thought it was incredible–– and rather clean. “What can I do to help?” 
Harry was getting used to Y/N’s straightforward approach to things, so he’s not phased by her question. “Jus’ you bein’ here is great, honestly.”
Y/N can see that Harry’s aura is that deep indigo that she’s not fond of, but she wonders if he can work through it himself before she steps in. “So it’s just your cold that’s got you feeling down? Can we sit down and talk about it?”
“Sure. Also, not sure if you’ve eaten yet or not but I’m gettin’ some food dropped off for us.”
“That sounds great, I haven’t had dinner yet so thank you. Can we sit?” Y/N doesn’t wait for Harry to answer. She makes her way to his plush couch in the adjoining room, walking through the place like she’s been there before. Harry loves it.
“I think I told you the gist of it on the phone earlier,” Harry says, settling onto the couch beside her. He leaves some space in between them since he doesn’t want to risk getting her sick, but he wishes he was closer to her. “I’ve been feelin’ down ‘cause I’ve been stuck in the house with this cold. S’not fun.” Y/N hums in understanding. Harry notices that she reaches out her hand to him slightly and then quickly retracts it, but he doesn’t mention it. Y/N says nothing, just continues looking inquisitively at him. Harry doesn’t feel uncomfortable under her gaze–– he stares back. 
“Something’s making you feel nervous. What is it?”
Harry isn’t surprised that she was able to figure out there was more to what he was feeling than just loneliness. How was he supposed to tell Y/N that she was the reason for his nervousness, though?
“It’s nothing. I promise.”
“I don’t think so.”
Harry scratches the back of his neck nervously. “How are you so good at reading me? S’like you’re inside my brain, Y/N.” He lets out a little chuckle after saying this but quickly stops when he realizes Y/N isn’t laughing along with him.
“You’re just easy to read,” she cooly responds after a second. “Why are you so nervous? Do you have something coming up for work?”
“Not really…” 
“Then what is it? Something going on with someone in your family?” 
Harry was quickly realizing Y/N wouldn’t drop this unless Harry gave her an answer. He silently hopes for the best before answering her. 
“It’s you,” he mumbles, shifting around uncomfortably on his couch. “You make me nervous.” Y/N watches as his aura changes from red and blue to pink, and his cheeks flush slightly. 
“Why do I make you nervous?”
“You just do.”
“Why? Have I done something to hurt you?”
Y/N was so painfully oblivious that it was cute. Harry was quickly realizing that his heart doubled in size every time he talked to her.
“No. Quite the opposite, actually,” Harry reaches in the pocket of his sweatpants for a tissue, facing away from her while he pauses to blow his nose. “You’re so… you’re jus’ very interesting. Mesmerizing, really.”
Y/N feels her skin heat up at Harry’s compliment. His aura is still shining pink, the brightest pink she’s ever seen since meeting him. She was sad to see there was still quite a bit of indigo and red, though. “Thank you. That’s very sweet of you.”
Before Y/N can stop herself, she reaches out to grab Harry’s hand. Immediately she feels his energy transfer to her and without thinking, Y/N flicks her finger out of force of habit. The beautifully potted Pothos that Harry has sitting on his television stand instantly droops, leaves turning brown and wilted. 
Harry’s completely perplexed.
The first thing he notices is that he’s feeling better. Great, even. He feels as good as he felt after the interaction he had with Y/N in the Greek food place all those weeks ago. The next thing he notices is that his gorgeous Pothos, a plant that is nearly impossible to kill, is dead.
And it was all Y/N’s doing.
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literaila · 3 years
Text
a void on your side of the bed. 
loki x gn!reader 
summary: loki is feeling lonely. and guilty about that. 
here was the thing:
loki tried not to ask for too much. he tried to be the perfect partner, the perfect person just for you.
he didnt complain when you wanted to sleep in, or when he was supposed to make you breakfast (he enjoyed doing that). he wasnt upset when you asked him to ‘clean up’ around the house, or when you refused to buy him any more ice cream.
he tried to eliminate any problems-- never been done before by the god of mischief --he might cause before they even appeared, and tried to give you anything and everything you might want.
it wasnt a hard task, actually. he liked the feeling in his chest when you smiled at him, when you were grateful for his help or when he surprised you with something that made your life just a little bit better. he liked taking care of you, causing less trouble than before.
but. it was really hard not to complain when you werent paying attention to him.
when you needed space for just a bit too long for his liking. when he felt like an interruption every time he attempted to make any small talk with you, and you sighed-- almost reluctantly --before turning to him.
he knew you were busy, and he knew that you wanted to get as much work done as you could during the day. he just didnt like it.
he didnt like not conversing with you during the day, not cuddling with you on the couch during lunch while you snacked on something beside him. he didnt like leaving you alone until it was nine o’clock at night and you looked like you were contemplating murder.
he felt lonely. and he just missed you.
and, gods, he was really trying not to complain.
he was really trying not to make this a bigger struggle for you by stealing any of your time. he knew how hard you were working, knew that it drained all the life out of you by the end of the day, knew that the last thing you needed was him telling you that he was upset.
he was used to not sharing his emotions, to building up walls and keeping all his thoughts locked in. but usually, he didnt have to do that with you.
it was all looking up for loki when the week was coming to a slow end. friday night, he felt excited to get you back for at least two days, to steal all the time he could from you before you got annoyed of him. he got his usual smirk back when you came out of your office friday night, giving him a soft smile as you headed to the bedroom.
this was it, he knew. tomorrow morning, he wasnt going to let you leave bed until at least noon.
he fell asleep that night, arms tucked around you, lips smiling against your head, with thoughts of the next day filling his dreams.
so, when he woke up in the morning, colder than usual, a void where you were laying in his arms, it wasnt surprising that he was feeling more upset than before.
disappointment was a violent emotion.
still, he walked out of the room with some hope left, that maybe you were just drinking coffee and eating breakfast while you waited for him.
that hope disappeared when he heard the familiar click-clacking from the room you had proclaimed was your office.
you were working. again. and loki was alone. again.
he felt a groan building up in his chest, a terrible feeling filling him as he listened for your breathing. he knew it was madness to miss you this much when you were only a door away, but he wasnt used to spending days away from you.
he reminded himself that you were right there with a bitter laugh.
he was trying not to be angry or disappointed with you, he knew that it wasnt fair to put you at the end of the blame when you didnt even know how he was feeling and that it wasnt fair for him to want you to stay with him of every second of every day. to ask for so much.
he turned toward the bedroom again and tried to drown his emotions in reading.
it wasnt really working, but at least when he was this far away from you he didnt feel like you were ignoring him.
at around noon, after hours of re-reading the same chapter over and over again and illusioning himself as his brother and throwing a fake hammer around, he finally decided that you needed lunch, at least. he decided that bringing lunch was a perfectly acceptable thing for a significant other to do.
(and hopefully, it wouldnt annoy you too much)
“my love,” he called, knocking on the door. “i’ve brought you sustenance”
you replied a quick ‘come in!’ and loki put a smile on his face, walking in the room deviously and grinning down at you in your chair.
“thank you, loki,” you whispered, kissing his cheek when he leaned to place the plate on your desk, rubbing a hand down his arm when you looked back at the screen in front of you.
loki tried not to preen too much at the touch.
“how are you, love?” he asked, bending down to stare at the screen with you. he didnt understand anything about it, but it was still fun to pretend. to include himself with you.
“oh, tired,” was all you said as you leaned over to type something yet again. loki frowned at your words and focused his attention on your face instead.
you looked perfectly normal, perfect and normal, he supposed. your eyes were bright and your face was blank, but still, loki was worried over your words.
“maybe you could take a break for lunch then?” he asked, bringing a hand to your face and tracing your jawline with his thumb. he was trying to sound casual, to not let the hope that you might concede slip.
“i wish i could,” you sighed and looked over at him with a smile, taking the hand that was on your face and placing a gentle kiss on his palm. he froze under the attention. “thank you, sunshine, for lunch. i adore you,” you kissed him again, and turned away.
his hand was still in the air, left behind.
your words were sweet. exactly what loki wanted to hear, really, but he heard the unspoken dismissal of his presence. he knew this was your way of asking him to leave, even if you didnt realize it.
he wanted to plead with you to let him stay.
he stood up instead, not letting the sigh escape his lips in the room with you, and headed toward the door. he touched the doorknob, feeling all the emotions building up in his chest. making their way through his body like a stampede.
it was all very much for him. this disappointment that he could barely hide anymore. the loneliness he knew he had to return to in the other room.
before he realized it, the words were slipping from his lips.
“have i done something wrong?” his usual teasing tone was there, his usual indicator for dramatics, but when you looked at him the look on his face was much more serious than his tone.
you frowned immediately, and loki scolded himself. “quite the opposite really, sweets. you just brought me lunch?”
“right, of course.” he nodded to go, but you stopped him.
“is there something wrong, loki?” you were turned towards him completely, concern tainting both your face and your tone. loki felt terrible like he shouldn’t have said anything at all.
he tried to put on a smile. “no, darling.”
but you werent easy to trick, he knew, and you scowled at him. “loki.” you were staring at him with your intimidating eyes now, only slightly soft because you were worried. even to a god, it was scary.
reluctantly, he nodded. avoiding your eyes now.
“come sit, sunshine,” you said, gesturing to the couch next to your desk. loki could hear the concern more now, stronger. he winced and took a seat.
after a few moments of silence and loki looking at the wall with furrowed eyebrows, you spoke first. “whats wrong?”
he sighed, feeling silly. you were supposed to be working and he was interrupting that with childish emotions that he could deal with himself. but still, he couldnt help but feel grateful at your asking.
“we havent been spending as much time together recently and..” he stopped, still avoiding his eyes to run a hand through his hair. “i suppose i’m feeling a bit..excluded? or maybe lonely?” he winced, sighed, looked like the perfect definition of regret. “i dont know” he said, almost silent.
but while loki was feeling ridiculous, you were looking upon him with something similar to horror in your eyes. terror at the thought of hurting him.
you were well aware that you’d been working more, the exhaustion every night made sure of it, but you hadnt realized that it was taking a toll on loki too, that he was... missing you while you were preoccupied.
you hadnt even considered it, really, when you longed to go watch a movie with him or have dinner together. your clinginess wasnt surprising, but loki?
he never seemed to mind space.
your brain took a few seconds to process it before you could speak again. “i’m so sorry, loki.” you were already pleading with him, begging for forgiveness.
how could you have disregarded him so much this week? you felt disgusted at the thought.
loki’s head snapped up in shock. he thought you might be tired with his admission, maybe even upset. not... regretful? he didnt expect to see this look on your face, one that was so disappointed, so loving.
“i didnt realize that you might be feeling lonely also, which is completely unthoughtful of me, i just thought that maybe-” you were gesturing with your hands, looking around the room rapidly as you used all your breath.
“you arent upset?” loki asked carefully, interrupting your rambling.
you paused, then blinked, looking at him curiously. he was serious, that much you could tell. he had that same frown on his face. you blinked again.
“upset?” you repeated, astounded. “why would i be upset?”
loki was just as confused as you now. he scratched his neck, looking down. “because i’m getting in the way of your work, interrupting you, being troublesome?” he said it as if he was trying to ring any bells in your head. he seemed sure of every word he spoke.
all you felt was more horror.
“your emotions are not interruptions or ‘troublesome’“ you mocked his accent, mostly with anger at yourself as you scowled at the floor. your words were harsh, but loki didnt flinch away. he still didnt understand.
“they aren’t?”
your eyes snapped up to his, guilt pouring from them. immediately, you jumped up from your chair, coming to sit next to him and taking his hand in yours. his face relaxed a bit at the feel of your touch. “of course they’re not, loki. if you’re upset i want to know. you and your feelings arent burdens on my day, i love you!” you promised him with strong eyes, with a strong grip on his hand.
it was probably the most important thing in the world to you that he knew this. that he didnt feel unwanted again.
“i love you too” he answered, quickly, before he even had the chance to think over your words.
he almost smiled when he did, proud of himself, of you, for seemingly no reason. you loved him.
it was nice to hear.
it was also nice to hear the softness in your voice, the sweet words, his name. it was nice to be sitting next to you.
he was hit was a sudden burst of longing, this time for something different.
he wished he would’ve talked to you days before, wished there was more he could do. if that had happened, he might’ve saved you both from some unwanted feelings. might’ve kept you from the sorrow that you still had on your face.
you were still upset, he knew.
“i’m sorry i’ve been so busy. that i havent spent enough time with you,” the words fell from your lips before you could stop them, despite the happy look on loki’s face. you still felt horrible, guilty for making loki feel anything but joy.
“its okay, darling, i know you have a lot of work to do.”
though his words were sweet, they only made you scoff.
“thats not an excuse.” you insisted, scowling again. “i havent been taking care of you,”
loki, who no longer felt disappointed or lonely, who was enjoying just the sound of your voice and feel of your skin, frowned with you. he didnt like the pain in your voice, the anger he could hear.
he really wasnt upset anymore, never upset with you, to begin with. he was only glad that you knew he’d missed you and that you seemed to feel the same. he was happy to see you away from your desk.
his brows furrowed.
then he smiled again, leaning in closer to you with an idea.
he lifted your face towards him with gentle fingers, admiring you before he spoke. “i know how i’d like you to make it up to me,” he said, smirking at you.
it was a familiar look. one you hadnt seen in far too many days.
“you do?” you asked him, forgetting your guilt for a moment while he stared at you.
he nodded, staring down at your lips. his damned smirk was glued to his face now, distracting you from anything besides him. “i rather think you’ll enjoy it..” he assured.
and then he kissed you, and guilt was the last thing on your mind.
the thing was: loki was already the perfect person for you.
*
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Note
may i ask for some poly relationship w larry & sal x male reader hcs?
Ah! Of course! :) Sorry I've been taking so long school is getting to me cause of finals;-;
Warnings: Noncannon compliant (their parents aren't together, no one dies, etc), NSFW (implied teen NSFW otherwise they're out of highschool), no weird cult stuff but they still ghost hunt, more modernish (?) phones and stuff
Sal x Male Reader x Larry hcs
highschool
I think that Sal and Larry would have gotten together before you got there
Like, I say gotten together but the way they started it was literally best friends that were super hornknee and decided to have sex together
They started then developing romantic feelings for each other though
And although the sex dynamic wasn't perfect (refer to my Sal x reader NSFW fic) it was good and they loved each other
It became an on and off thing until they actually worked it out
they talked about it and decided that it was better that they stay friends until they can sort out their own sexual desires and endeavors
Sal didn't even know he could do both as a switch and verse so he wanted to just re-examine his sexual self
And Larry was okay with that
So they decided to date but just without sex for a while
Then you moved to Nockfell their sophomore year
and god were you cool
Sal was the first one to see you in the hallway
It wasn't love at first sight really
He thought you were cool and he wanted to talk to you
Then that same day he told Larry about you during lunch
"I want to talk to him I just don't know how to approach him"
"Oh, well who is it?"
Ngl Larry was kinda jealous about how flustered Sal was getting at the prospect of a new friend but then Sal pointed at you and Larry was like "Oh, okay, I get it."
So Larry just approaches you
It was kinda to tease Sal about how shy he was being
Also kinda because you looked rad as fuck
So Larry approaches you sitting at a table alone
You were actually quite chill
You were happy since no one was approaching you
You guys hit it off and ended up becoming really good friends!
So for the duration of your sophomore year and the summer of your junior year, you guys were really good pals and hung out a lot
Then Larry started developing feelings first
And he was super confused since he knew he still liked Sal, no doubt about it
So he was just super confused and conflicted because he didn’t want to break up with Sal
So during, about the first half, of all of your junior year he kept this to himself and tried to keep himself from feeling for you
Sal on the other hand already accepted his feelings, he realized it later than Larry
And he read yp on what being polygamous meant
So although there was a lot of confusion at first he figured it's no different from people in love triangles
He realizes it a couple weeks after Larry and decides to bring this up to Larry during winter break
The conversation pretty much just went like Sal explaining polyamory to Larry for an hour
They end up deciding to just wait a bit and try to flirt with you individually
you know,
because they don't remember that you don't know they're attracted to you at this point
:)
So basically you think that they're both trying to cheat on each other for the week they're flirting with you
At the end of that week, you tell them to meet you together
And they don't know any better than to meet you
And then you come to them, don't let them explain, and cry because you don't want two of your best friends to cheat on each other like this even though you like them
And then they realize why you're saying this
So although this was not the time they expected to confess to you they told you what they were trying to do
So you just sat there
With these two idiots
and told them "No guys, cause I was literally having a breakdown about losing my two best friends."
And they confess to you
and everything is emotional and raw and you accept
Your guys' dynamic doesn't change because you’re dating now
The only difference is you guys make out together and show lots more pda
although you always bring up what they did when they were trying to give you hints
"We just really wanted to flirt with you okay??? Is it such a crime to want your crush to fall for you???"
"When you guys don't explain you're looking to expand your relationship, yes. Yes, it is Larry."
"He's kind of right babe-"
"SAL-"
Y'all spend a lot of time communicating with each other on stuff like that now
Your senior year goes without any bumps between all of you and you then graduate
College Dynamic
so you and the gang (except Ash, she moves to the city of course) goes and makes a college house
once you all move in together there it's a new routine
You all agreed and talked about the move together and what it would entail
And then you all finally realized how different it was from a monogamous relationship it was
But you all had your learning curves within the relationship
You find out more about their dynamic as a couple
For example, Larry and Sal never liked to fall asleep without you anymore
They had trouble sleeping without you beforehand and the first time you all slept in the same bed together it was just... so... peaceful
They'll spoon and cuddle without you individually (Sal is always the big spoon with Larry)
but they just love falling asleep next to you
They also refuse to do homework without you there
Even if it's just the simplest this they're just gonna need to have you in the room to finish it
Sal likes to make songs about you guys
He records them and edits some but he never lets you two listen to them
"It's just embarrassing if you two were to listen to it. It's like confessing my love for you guys all over again except I can't hide behind the mask."
So until he decides to release his songs online or plays those at gigs he's never going to let you listen to them
Larry likes to paint you guys
His paintings of you before the "disaster confession" were okay, it just looked like he was making a painting of a friend, except for the occasional rose
But now he paints you and draws you two whenever he can
He finds it funny how flustered you and Sal get whenever he makes suggestive paintings or sketches of you two
One time he painted a whole sex portrait of you and Sal together (A 12 by 28 specifically) hung it upright in front of the door to your rooms and didn't tell anyone
So after you and Sal got home that day you were welcomed with Larry lounging on your bed with the giant picture of you fucking Sal next to him
It was definitely beautiful though, even if it's hard to call your nudes beautiful
"Larry Johnson, this painting, as always, masterful. Beautiful craftsmanship but please-" "-we mean this in the most loving way possible Larry-" "-STOP PAINTING OUR NUDES BABE"
He put it away to be hung up in your apartment for when you all move out
Non-College Life
Once you all finish college you guys move into an apartment outside of Nockfell
The minute after you and Sal leave to get food Larry puts up all his private paintings of you guys
It's funny to him
I imagine you guys moving to a really populated city
Somewhere where it's a good place for people wanting to have creative jobs but still close to Nockfell
Maybe not back to New Jersey but probably not as far as New York or LA
you guys do all the cute stuff you never got to in Nockfell together
It's not like the majority of Nockfell was homophobic, mostly just the people who went to the church
But a lot more of them didn't think that polyamory was possible
So now it's easier
It's not like you never experience any polyphobia anymore but it's easier because you're in a more open-minded place
Sal's favorite thing is to go to concerts now
And pride
He also likes coffee house dates too
Larry gets hit on a lot though whenever you guys go out anywhere though
He finds it funny how jealous you both get
Sometimes if he wants Sal to get really mad he'll play along
But most of the time he shuts it down before it begins
Sal gets hit on a lot at concerts the most though
He gets kind of awkward about it, he's not going to edge them on but he gets uncomfortable enough to just not know how to shut them down
Usually, you and Larry will just appear behind him and whisk him away
Larry likes to use it as teasing leverage for a good rough one that night but you usually make sure he's okay with it before Larry does anything
You get hit on the most casually
Here and there but there aren't really specific places
It just sort of happens
You mostly shut them down alone
But occasionally you'll have to go to Sal and Larry if they're persistent
And they'll be mean too
One of the first times you saw Sal and Larry ever legitimately get that mean was when you got hit on in a club and they both just pulled you behind them and absolutely ripped the person a new one
You guys really like to stay at home if you guys have dates though that way everyone feels included
But when you all do go around together it's always specifically for three people you never tell anyone it's a date for dinner reservations, you always make sure you go on rides everyone wants to go on at amusement parks, and hey if worse comes to worst smoking is a group activity (if you have asthma or any other breathing condition Larry makes you edibles if you really wanna do edibles with them)
Starting jobs there are tough and all but you make it off your feet
Sal ends up booking a lot of gigs and Larry's commission request skyrocket when he moves to the city and makes a blog about his art
You all get an apartment with affordable rent and one that allows Gizmo
I hc that Gizmo is an esp but I don't know if that's real
So regardless you'll still be able to have room for him
Sal proposes to both of you
You guys talked about marriage and decided that it would be easier legally to just not get married through a court
So you guys have a friends wedding and Gizmo is the ring bearer
You guys don't get a fancy venue or anything
You guys all just have a city wedding
NSFW
So, the first time you all decide to hook up it's mostly just very communicative rules beforehand
Sal is more comfortable with being fucked than fucking someone else at most times but "It's not like I never want to stick my dick in you two" as he puts it
He also likes background music on most of the time
It's kinda weird if there isn't just a little bit of music
It isn't really bothersome, you guys keep it below 20 at most times
Sal's also super submissive
He liked it rough, make him cry out for you two
A bit of a pillow prince
Especially enjoys being tied up by you two
gags and blindfolds are on the table
Although whenever he does feel up to fucking you and Larry he'll usually end up having you two ride him because he gets to be such a mess with you two unless he's jealous or upset
Usually, when he's upset he's gonna lift you two up and fuck you against the headboard or wherever you two are if he's impatient enough
One time you were chilling with Larry in your bedroom and he was painting over his easel
Sal burst through the door where it slammed back on itself and closed itself
He then tracks his eyes on you
immediately asks you "Can I please fuck you right now"
and as soon as your safe word and consent comes out of your mouth he's holding you down on the bed and fucking into you so hard you can barely breath
Larry doesn't mind it and just continues painting with you moaning and being so pathetic in the background of his music
He kinda finds it funny because before you all got together and he and Larry would angry fuck it never worked out
Sal was just being a brat most of the time because Larry still wouldn't let him fuck him submissively
Speaking of which, Larry's more comfortable with being dominant, he'll bottom but only if he can still be dominant otherwise forget it
Larry's just a rough fucker anyway
He really likes pushing and holding you two up against walls when he fucks you guys
He likes showing off the muscles he got helping his mom with handy work and stuff like that
The first time he did this was to Sal when you were studying in your guy's room
You said you didn't really wanna participate today so they fucked like they would without you
And so they're talking back and forth, teasing each other
and Larry corners him
And just
lifts him up
It looked like he was just lifting a bag of sugar up
Sal seemed weightless as Larry just rocks into him
It was one of the hottest things you'd seen at the time so you joined them
You do that a couple more times but then it just becomes normal and you decide you need to start finishing all those assignments
Larry does that to you one on one as well without Sal but it happens to Sal a lot more spontaneously
Larry though is kinkier than Sal in some respects
He'll try anything at least once "Lisa didn't raise no bitch-"
He's really into breeding and long fucking sessions though
Like, lowkey he has omegaverse fantasies
Not because of the weird stuff just because a lot of the time..... they have breeding written in
He'll never admit to reading any of it but you know he has at least once
Super into dirty talk
And he's really good at it
He also had a praise kink and a degradation kin
He likes degrading you and you telling him thank you and how good he's treating a filthy little brat like you
"What're my filthy little brats good for other than sucking my dick so well. Taking me so well like the dirty little whores you are?"
"Yes sir-" "-we're made for your big cock-" "-thank you for fucking us like this-"
He especially likes breeding you and having Sal suck you off while he does it, he finds your crying cute
And an added bonus is rewarding Sal after for it
You guys talk about long-term consent and all that and decide that it's a good idea, you all trust and love each other so there isn't a problem
lol this kinda went to shit at the end but I still like it enough! Thanks for the Sally Face request I really like this game and the dynamic between a poly reader hc :)
-Laika
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elias-code · 3 years
Text
Two Left Hooves [1/7]
Choose your own adventure ~ "Intro"
Characters: Technoblade x gn!reader, Philza, Eret
Summary: This is a choose-your-own-adventure!! You met Techno through Phil, helping him get rid of his headache after hibernation. He was immediately infatuated with you. Techno invites you to go to Eret's banquet. When you arrive to prepare for the banquet, he tells you that he will only sleep in his room with you if you wanted, now you get to choose if you want to sleep with him or not…
Warnings: Cussing
--- Phil ---
“Hey, Techno,” I peeked my head around the corner, holding the letter behind my back away from his line of sight.
“Hullo,” He turned to me, hands still in his hair, pin sticking out of his mouth. He was braiding his pink hair, unaware that his worst nightmare was about to come true. “So, mate,” I walked in, hands still behind my back, “I got some mail.”
“Mhm,”
“You remember the egg?”
“Yeah, what about it?” He turned back to the mirror, inspecting the last loop he’d made.
“Eret is hosting another banquet,”
“Huh?”
“Yeah, you’re invited,” his face in the mirror went pale, “since you’re the one who yeeted it.”
Techno paused, unmoving. Slowly, he tied the ribbon at the bottom of the braid, securing it with the pin. He made eye contact with me, his eyes were begging me to yell psych! and run out the door. Instead, I held the opened letter, once hidden behind me, up in the air, presenting it to him.
“Phil…”
“Yeah?” I laughed, this was the most scared I’ve ever seen him.
“You’re joking, right?”
“Nope, look.” I shook it at him, flipping it over to show Eret’s handwriting: To Technoblade and Philza Minecraft.
He shuddered slightly, finally turning to me and taking the letter from my hands. It read:
Technoblade and Philza,
This may seem strange and menacing, but I promise it’s not. Ever since the red banquet disaster, I’ve been thinking about how much I think the people of this server need a pick-me-up. We needed a re-do.
So, I’ve decided to host a banquet, this time out in the open with no bullshit. There’ll be drinks, games, and dancing, and I want you to be there. Since you had a lot to do with the egg’s eventual downfall, I personally think you need to be there, Technoblade.
I’ll tell you what I’ve told everyone else. There’s a plus-one requirement for safety reasons (buddy system), and so I’ve addressed this to both of you. I look forward to your attendance! I suggest wearing something else since I don’t want anyone having flashbacks when they see your royal gown.
On the back of the card, Eret wrote the coordinates and information about the dress code. The card had gold decorations on the edges, curling and twisting like vines, dotted with golden roses complete with thorns. The dress code specified that the suggested colours were black, white, blue, and gold, hence the bordering roses.
“Do you own anything you think you could wear?” I asked as he handed the card back to me.
“I still have the Arctic coat, but if this is anywhere near L’Manburg, it’s gonna be too hot for that.”
“Right, I might have to make something for you then,”
“Alright,” He hesitated, “Do I have to go? That’s a lot of enemies in one place…”
“Yeah, sorry mate, you have to go.” I put the card back into the envelope, closing and pocketing it. “Oh, wait, one thing Techno,”
“There’s more?”
“Um, I can’t go.”
“What?” “I can’t go to the banquet,” I was lying, but he didn’t need to know that, “I’m supposed to be at the ocean monument that day.”
“And your fishing can’t wait?” He raised an eyebrow at me and I shrugged. “Who am I supposed to bring?”
“I dunno, mate,” I shrugged and clicked my heel against the floor, “Maybe you can bring that bird I introduced you to… if you can find them.”
— Techno —
“Phil, who’s this?” I had walked into the kitchen, half-dressed. I was not expecting to see someone else sitting at the table. They looked at me, smiling and waving.
“Oh hello sleepyhead,” Phil remarked, stirring the rabbit stew that hung over the fireplace, “I dunno, they don’t seem to have a name.”
“Hello!” I looked back at them. They were dressed in forest green pants, tucked into black boots lined by silver buttons with fancy engravings, laced in leather strips, looped and tied at the top of the boot. Their top was one of mine, an old long-sleeved white cotton top Phil had probably found in the back of the closet. They had a golden-yellow scarf slung over their shoulders. I waved awkwardly, still half asleep.
“You don’t have a name?” I asked, still confused.
“Uh, I guess not. Phil’s the only person I’ve seen in a while.” They said, pointing at him. He was closing the white under-curtains, almost like he was avoiding the interaction.
“Then what do I call you?”
“Phil’s been calling me the bird.”
“Bird, huh?”
“He says it's because I’m migrating.”
That was strange enough as it was, and I decided to leave it there. Talking was making my headache worse, so I walked over to the stew, immediately recognizing the smell of carrots, potatoes, and chicken over the rabbit smell. My stomach grumbled, attempting to convince me to shove my face into the pot and gorge myself, but I pulled back.
“Is it ready yet, Phi?” I asked.
“No, it still has a couple of minutes, don’t go touching it yet. We should all eat together.”
I could wait a bit longer, I supposed. The smell was enticing, but my attention still lingered on the “bird” sitting at the table, reading a book. I sat down at the table and thumped my head onto it, only to make my headache worse.
“Ughhhh,” I groaned.
���You ok?” The bird asked.
“Headache,”
“Ah, I have something for that!” They picked up a bag from the floor and rummaged around in it for a bit before pulling out a small vial of green liquid. They uncorked it and an overwhelming spinach smell washed over me. “It might smell odd, but it works wonders.”
I lifted my head off the table and took the vial from them, inspecting it.
“Is this thing safe to drink?” I furrowed my eyebrows at them, looking for dishonesty.
They snatched it from me and took a swig, swiftly handing it back to me. “Take that as a yes.” They said.
— The Bird —
I knocked on the door, shivering slightly in the cold. I wore three layers, an undershirt, a turtleneck, and a thick coat. I got a letter a couple of days ago from Technoblade, asking me to go to the banquet with him and inviting me to stay at his cabin before the banquet. I accepted and sent the letter the same day since I knew the mail was slow. Just one day later, I hopped on my horse and made my way to the far arctic.
Techno opened the door and ushered me inside, shutting the door behind me.
“Jesus, you’re shivering,” he said, grabbing his cape off its stand and wrapping me with it. Thankfully, my face was already red enough from the cold that he didn’t notice me blush.
“Is your horse outside?”
“Yeah, I tied her up to the post,” I pulled the enormous cloak tighter to me, “but I don’t think she should stay there for long, it's too cold.”
“Alright, I’ll be right back.” He said, turning from me and walking out the door. The sudden freezing breeze pushed me into the living room, near the fire. I sat down in an armchair and Steve wandered over to say hello.
“Hey, Steve…” I offered my hand to him and he sniffed it, grunting in my face with his fishy breath, “You do not smell good, big boy…”
He huffed like he understood what I said and I chuckled. He sat at my feet as I scratched his head. “At least you’re soft, Steve.” You smiled, “Good boy…”
The door opened and slammed again, Techno walked over dusting his hands off and Steve lumbered over to greet him.
“Hello Steve, you’ve inspected them, yeah?” He baby talked at him. The polar bear was big, almost as tall as Techno standing on all fours. It was strange to see such a big man 'baby talk' an apex predator, so you laughed a bit to yourself.
“What?” He asked, patting Steve on the head.
“Nothing, you’re just being cute.”
He smiled and sat himself down on the couch, crossing his legs and looking at you.
“If I’d left you out there any longer, you would have gotten frostbite,”
You realized you were still shivering in his cloak, “Yeah, thanks for not letting me die out there, and for the cape,”
“If I’d let you die, I wouldn’t have a date for the banquet.”
“Ooh, I’m a date now, am I?” I teased.
He blushed and looked away, still smiling.
“I suppose so,” he whispered.
He stood and offered a hand to me. I took it and stood, following him upstairs to his room, the only bedroom in the house. The room had recently been tidied, the paintings on the wall included snowy landscapes and one of a wither. The curtains were open, the night sky illuminating the room. The moonlight made everything a pale blue, almost making Techno’s hair purple.
“I don’t have anywhere else for you to stay right now unless you want to sleep on the couch.”
“Are you also sleeping here?”
“Only if you’re ok with it,” He said, kneeling by the fireplace and setting logs on the grate.
Would he really? He seems so shy…
— Technoblade —
I could feel my blood rush to my face as they asked if I’d sleep with them. I turned to the fireplace and lit the fire, trying to hide my embarrassment.
“Only if you’re ok with it,” I said.
They paused and my heartbeat harder, unsure what they were going to say. I started preparing the fire, putting the hesitation out of my mind.
////////UNDER CONSTRUCTION BRRRRRRRRR (2/3 complete)///////
Do you allow him to sleep with you?
Yes, tell him you’re going to be cold and need the body heat. (NSFW)
Ask where he wants to sleep. (Fluff)
No, respectfully suggest he sleep on the couch. (SFW)
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charlie-minion · 3 years
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Could the same SPN finale make a little more sense with some additions/changes?
I’ve had the idea for this post stuck in my head for days now, but with every new conspiracy theory and every new eventuality in the fandom, it became difficult to cool down enough to write something less ship-related and more narrative-focused.
What Supernatural and non-SPN fans have to understand is that a lot of us have expressed disappointment and frustration after 15x20, not because of Destiel (that’s just one part of the whole problem), but because the finale doesn’t make sense. Everything was leading up to something beautifully crafted until the end of 15x19. Beyond that, it’s hard to understand what happened. The story rendered all the character growth irrelevant, invalidated the themes of free will and “family don’t end in blood”, regressed to the original brother codependency they spent 15 years trying to overcome, made a queer non-binary character in a male vessel and a deaf female character basically disposable, and kept the show’s reputation of queerbaiting and misogyny until its very last breath.
That’s not going out with a bang! At least not a positive one. We all were ready to mourn Supernatural, but we wanted to feel proud of its legacy, and somehow TPTB managed to tarnish that legacy in less than 45 minutes. What a way to ruin the other more than 13,600 minutes of story!
It doesn’t matter who is to blame (The CW, Robert Singer, Andrew Dabb). It doesn’t matter why it happened (homophobia, censorship, marketing for Walker, bad writing). What matters is that at the end of the day, the finale that aired is what we got and that’s going to hurt for a long time. It hurts even more when we realize that the same finale could have easily made more sense, even without being perfect.
That’s what I want to do in this post. I want to show you how things would have been less jarring (for the fandom), while still keeping the goal to please the general audience.
Before I begin rewriting 15x20, I have to mention that I talked to my conservative boomer sister about the finale. She hasn’t watched the second half of season 15 yet (she’s waiting for Netflix to have it), but she’s been watching the show for a long time (she introduced me to it 8 years ago). She’s the perfect example of a viewer from the general audience. Loves the show but doesn’t give a second thought to it and definitely isn’t paying attention to character development or themes. Doesn’t engage with fandom, actors, or any of the show’s social media. Pure GA! When I told her the series finale had aired, she asked me about it and I refused to give her spoilers. Because of that, she told me the ending SHE wanted. She said she would be happy with either of two possibilities: the boys retiring and finally living a normal life OR they going to heaven and finding peace at last. She saw Sam and Dean as a unit, which means: both retiring or both going to heaven. AND she saw Cas as part of that, too. She wasn’t so sure about Jack. And for her, we could use the “Eileen who?” and it wouldn’t be a joke. She didn’t remember her.
NOW IT’S TIME TO WRITE A NEW VERSION OF 15X20 (KEEPING 15X18 AND 15X19 EXACTLY THE SAME AS THEY AIRED). This will be a very long post:
The opening remains almost the same. No “Carry on my wayward son” to induce feels. Too soon and too predictable! (Reasoning: Everyone was expecting it to play right there, so it would bring more tears at the end)
In the opening, after the scene where Jack says “People won’t need to pray to me or sacrifice to me”, we also see the scene from 15x19 where he says “I won’t be hands on”. Then we see the rest of the opening as it was. (Reasoning: People needed to be reminded that Jack would NOT intervene and that’s why later on, he would NOT save Dean).
We get the same montage, but when Sam takes a break from his morning run, we see him reading a message on his phone. A simple: “Hey Sam, what’s new?” from Eileen. Sam smiles fondly and begins to type a response we don’t get to see. The next scene continues the same, Sam making breakfast. (Reasoning: A text was a very simple way to show that Eileen was alive and still in communication with Sam).
The montage slowly ends as Sam enters the library (not after he sits down). He seems to be talking on the phone but we only hear an “I’ll tell him. Bye”. As he walks towards the table, he tells Dean: “Charlie says hi. Mentioned something about Stevie’s perfect scrambled eggs we have to try.” Dean’s answer is “Awesome!” (Reasoning: Just ONE line was needed to unbury Charlie and her girlfriend. ONE LINE).
Sam sits down, opens his laptop and everything continues the same. The title card shows for the last time.
YOU SEE? In the first 4 minutes they could have acknowledged that THREE WOMEN were alive and safe: Eileen, Charlie and Stevie. It wasn’t hard! Don’t blame bad writing on Covid! Now let’s continue.
Sam and Dean arrive at the Pie Fest just the same. Dean goes to get some “damn pie” and Sam takes out his phone. He dials and when someone picks up, he says “Hey, Jody, how are ya?” We don’t hear the rest of the conversation. The scene moves to Dean coming with his 6 portions of pie. Dean sits down and Sam tells him, “Talked to Jody. The other hunters haven’t had much work lately.” “That’s good, isn’t it?”, Dean says. All we get from Sam is “Yeah.” So, Dean looks at him and asks “what’s wrong?” like it happened in the episode. (Reasoning: Again, a couple of lines to make sure the people that were killed in 15x18 are safe and remembered by the boys in 15x20. Why is this important? Because they’re family!)
The conversation about Sam’s sad face happens the same. Sam is the one that mentions Cas and Jack. (Reasoning: Because this episode was so Sam-centered, it’s obvious he was the protagonist in the finale. If we see him communicating with Eileen, Charlie, and Jody, then it’s NORMAL, even expected of him to be the one to bring up Cas and Jack). Without these additions, it’s harder for people to understand that most of the finale was NOT from Dean’s POV but from Sam’s.
Dean’s “if we don’t keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing” stays the same. (Reasoning: I believe it’s necessary that the show sticks to the importance of “letting go” and “what is dead should stay dead” for the first time ever because the message is “even when you lose someone you love, you can still find some form of happiness and keep living, for you and for them, because that’s what they would have wanted”. Bringing someone back means “I can’t live without you”, and that’s just more codependency. It’s how the demon deals began in the Winchester family –Mary being the first one to do it. This would explain why Dean didn’t ask Jack to bring Cas back, as he asked Chuck. He understood Jack was NOT going to interfere anymore and accepted it. Besides, when Cas saved Dean from hell, Dean thought he didn’t deserve to be saved. This time that Cas saved him, Dean finally feels worthy enough to accept that YES, HE DESERVED TO BE SAVED ALL ALONG, just as much as he deserved to be loved by that angel of the Lord. In this scene, Dean also says that the pain is not gonna go away, which means that from HIS PERPECTIVE, it still hurts that Cas is not there. The problem is that the finale is not showing his POV but Sam’s.  
Sam pies Dean on the face just the same. (Reasoning: That part was just to avoid ending the scene on a sad note).
Everything related to the case happens exactly the same. (Reasoning: At this point, people don’t really care about the MoTW, they care about Sam and Dean).
NOTE 1: The case is important to show that even when the Winchesters are finally free of Chuck’s influence, they CHOOSE to keep hunting. It isn’t something they do out of revenge or because it is their destiny anymore. Maybe they were forced into the life at first, but they’ve learned to find joy in saving people. Being hunters is who they are. However, the fact that a job application was shown on Dean’s desk is also important because it means he was willing to explore what else was there for him besides hunting. Maybe he could find a balance? Maybe he was thinking it was time to quit? We will never know! The thing is that Sam only finds out about it when he goes into Dean’s room after his brother is dead, so maybe that’s when it hits him that Dean wanted to explore his options, and Sam starts to think it’s time for him to do the same.  
NOTE 2: I believe the masks the vampires are wearing is something we can blame on covid. If they had their faces covered, it was easier to use people from the SPN crew for some scenes, instead of using more actors unnecessarily.
NOTE 3: When Sam and Dean arrive at the barn, we get 3 visuals to remember Cas in the same scene (those are for the fandom, not for the general audience): a) the barn, obviously; b) the bag that resembles Cas’ trenchcoat so much that many people thought that’s what it was; and c) two feathers hanging on Dean’s right when he opens the trunk.
The scene with the throwing star happens the same. (Reasoning: The episode is still told from Sam’s point of view, so it makes sense that he fondly sees his brother as a man child).
Jenny the vampire? Uhhh… I mean, it’s not the best piece of writing I’ve ever seen, but it’s not the worst, so okay. That stays the same. (Reasoning: There is none, but she’s not what really ruined the finale, so whatever!)
Dean still dies impaled on a rebar. (Reasoning: OK. HERE ME OUT!!! I hate as much as everyone else that Dean is killed. I think it’s lazy writing, but that’s what we got and I can’t change that in this re-write, so if killing Dean is what we have to work around, then, memes aside, death by rebar is better and here’s why. There’s no one to blame for Dean’s death: no Chuck (the boys were willingly hunting even after Chuck was defeated), no vampires (they were all killed and were no real threat, so it was impossible for Sam to begin a quest for revenge against all vampires. What was Sam going to blame? A rebar? Can you kill it? Hunt it? NO. It was an ordinary death, a stupid accident. Just like any person can die at any moment by slipping on a banana peel. Is it a good death? No, but it’s good to know he doesn’t die trying to save Sam or Cas, because Dean Winchester is NOT willing to give up his life in exchange for anyone else’s anymore.
Sam takes out his phone and says he’ll call for help, but his phone is more visible to the audience. He dials and it’s almost to his ear when Dean stops him and Sam hesitantly hangs up. (Reasoning: People have complained that Sam didn’t call an ambulance, but actually he tried to. It’s just that people missed that part, maybe?)
After Sam puts his phone back in his pocket and says “OK” to Dean, he adds, “I’ll pray to Jack”. Dean’s immediate answer is: “No hands on, remember?” “But Dean”, Sam says, and Dean interrupts him with “OK listen to me” and tells Sam what to do with the kids they rescued. (Reasoning: Jack is God now and how come Sam didn’t remember? The viewers remembered, so it was necessary to include a line that ruled the option out and that showed Dean didn’t want Jack to intervene. The rest was fine).
The lines “You knew it was always gonna end like this for me. It was supposed to end like this, right?” disappear completely from Dean’s monologue. (Reasoning: This is the most problematic part of Dean’s dying speech. He fought God and earned free will, he is no longer controlled by fate or destiny. Accepting that he is supposed to die on a hunt regresses his character development and denies his desire to keep living. This was a total mistake and should be removed).
Instead, if going to heaven is the ending TPTB wanted to give Dean, at least he should say something more empowering. Sam tells him that both of them are going to take the kids somewhere safe. Dean answers and the scene follows like this: “No. Sammy, we made our choice, didn’t we?”, he smiles with difficulty. “We were free to write our own story and we did. We decided to keep saving people, hunting things. Because it’s what we love despite the risks.” (Reasoning: If Dean’s going to die it doesn’t have to feel like it was always meant to be that way. He should die knowing that he exerted his free will until his last breath).
The rest of the dialogue between Sam and Dean happens almost the same. Except that instead of Dean saying “‘cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It’s always been you and me”, he says “’cause when it all came down to it, we’ve always had each other’s backs. Always.” And instead of Sam saying “Don’t leave me”, he says “I still can try to save you.” (Reasoning: It sounds way less codependent without diminishing the importance of their love and support for each other).
Besides, let’s change Dean’s “I’m not leaving you” for “You don’t have to be alone. You’ve still got family.” The rest stays the same word by word. (Reasoning: Dean reminds Sam that “family don’t end in blood” and there are still lots of people out there who love Sam and will be with him).
“I love you so much, my baby brother” stays exactly the same. (Reasoning: Dean always had trouble to express the big L word. I always believed and said many times that before Dean could say “I love you” to Cas or any other character, he had to say it to Sam. So, this is important as part of Dean speaking his truth).
The last part when Dean insists Sam tell him that it’s okay stays the same. (Reasoning: It’s the final moment when the codependency cycle breaks. No more running in circles).
The forehead touch between them stays the same. (Reasoning: I think I would do something similar if my sister were dying. I know there are w*ncest shippers out there, but it shouldn’t matter because the moment feels appropriate for that kind of goodbye). 
See? There are changes but not too many. That’s why I’ve been saying that it was easier to get it right, yet they still managed to screw it up.
The second montage stays the same. (Reasoning: Life goes on, but of course Sam has to mourn).
The call about a case in Austin remains the same. (Reasoning: It’s the only part of the episode where someone from the found family is mentioned, so I think that Donna’s name is perfect in that moment. However, without the other additions I’ve made in this re-write, that off-hand mention feels too little. Its purpose was to tell the viewers that if Donna was alive, so were the others, but the way the episode was executed gave us an isolated Sam, incapable of having friends and a family without Dean).  
After 30 minutes of Sam’s POV, let’s finally see the last bit of Dean’s POV that we’ll ever get.
Dean arrives in Heaven and Bobby receives him. All their conversation stays almost the same, except that after mentioning Rufus and before saying “and your mom and dad…”, Bobby adds an “Ellen and Jo let me borrow their place”. (Reasoning: If you’re gonna put the man outside the Harvelle’s place, at least mention them for Jack’s sake!).
Besides, after Bobby tells Dean that Sam will be along and that time in heaven is different, Dean gives a small smile and says, “Well, there’s no rush. I want him to have a long, happy life.” Bobby answers with: “I would expect nothing less from you, boy” and tells him he got everything he could ever want, etc., just like it happened in the episode, and finishes by asking “What are you gonna do now, Dean?” (Reasoning: It’s important we know for sure that Dean is NOT codependent anymore and that he doesn’t expect to have a miserable afterlife just because his brother is not there yet).
Instead of saying “I think I’ll go for a drive” Dean says, “I think I know what I want” and walks towards baby. Bobby still tells him to have fun. (Reasoning: “Know what I want” is ambiguous enough to help us introduce the last piece of the puzzle, the one thing Dean’s wanted for many seasons and has never been able to express).
 The biggest change is coming:
Dean gets on the Impala and has a moment of silence while he contemplates the wheel. He begins to pray: “Hey, Cas, you got your ears on? I hear you’ve been busy working on this updated Heaven with Jack. You were right about him, Cas. You had faith in him and he saved us all. You could always see the best in everyone, even when they couldn’t see it themselves. Even when I couldn’t see it myself. There’s so much I want to tell you. Maybe you can visit sometime. I hope prayer’s still a thing up here.” (Reasoning: Dean’s side of the confession was unaddressed and that was terrible writing. If there was no way to get him to speak his truth textually, at least take him as close to it as possible).
We listen to a flutter of wings and a “Hello, Dean” from the back seat. We don’t see Cas, but the camera shows us Dean’s cocky smile and he says “Took you long enough.” He turns around slowly. End of scene. (Reasoning: The flutter of wings confirms that angels have their wings back and ties that loose end. The final “hello, Dean” was highly anticipated and it made sense. If Misha couldn’t be there to film, for whatever reason, or if the problem was the kind of conversation Dean and Cas would have, then don’t show it, but leave the door open. Let us know that the two characters were reunited and will talk, but whatever Dean has to say is so private that it’s not for us to hear, only for Cas.  
We finally hear “Carry on my wayward son” and get a montage that begins with Sam playing with his kid. Then we see Dean driving, super happy, and Sam living his life to the fullest. We still get Sam’s Blurry Wife, BUT… we see pictures of Eileen in the living room (not just of John, Mary, Sam, and Dean). We also see photos of Jody, Donna, Charlie, and AU!Bobby. (Reasoning: FAMILY DON’T END IN BLOOD).
The scene where Sam is wearing the party wig and looks miserable inside the Impala is cut and nobody talks about it ever again because it never existed. We get a scene of Sam teaching his son how to fix the car instead. (Reasoning: First of all, don’t give Sam a life where years later he’s still in pain. Second of all, the fucking wig was a crime).
Sam’s dying scene stays the same. The only thing is that his son signs a couple of phrases to him before actually speaking. (Reasoning: More confirmation that Dean Jr. is Eileen’s son).
We hear the final “Evanescence-like Carry on my wayward son”. Again we see the photos and there’s family other than the Winchesters there. (Reasoning: Obvious at this point).
The rest is exactly the same. The show began with two brothers and it’s okay if the last scene is with the two brothers reunited in Heaven. At this point, the other parts of the story are acceptable enough for us to feel happy that they get to see each other again after years of a happy (after)life.
Now look me in the eye and tell me this was too hard to execute. I still think that bad writing is a thing we can’t deny here, adding to the possible meddling of the Network. Maybe Dabb wanted us to hate the finale because he couldn’t get away with what he truly wanted. If that was his intention, then kudos to him. He and The CW really gave us a finale that only 30% of the fandom liked.
I hope you guys have enjoyed this and it helps to give you some peace of mind. In my heart, this was the finale we got. It wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t drop the ball either.
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luffysbasement · 3 years
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RE: Dreamscape XD is a representation of George's thoughts and feelings surrounding Dream
WARNING: VERY LONG AND PROBABLY RAMBLY, THESE WERE WORD VOMIT THOUGHTS AT THE TIME
I have a sneaking suspicion that XD has become a manifestation of George's thoughts and feelings surrounding Dream, and the line "Don't give up on me." from him is pretty telling of that. Beneath it all, I sincerely think George is struggling with losing his best friend and hasn't come to terms with the fact that he could've helped - could've reconciled, could've at least listened - but didn't. Through trying to “teach” XD, I think it’s his way of trying to make up for that and figure out how he could've done it right.
Either from witnessing it first-hand and/or from the accounts of others, George knows the good and the bad in Dream, and he recognizes them both as part of him. Still, he doesn't know how to fully deal with the weight of it all yet, and he genuinely doesn't want to have to deal with it - it'd be way easier if he didn't have to. Basically, he may recognize it, but he doesn't entirely accept it as of now. You can see this in how he treats the Dreamon and XD as both the same, yet separate entities - which is a good way of compartmentalizing how he views Dream and his actions. The issue with this, however, is that those parts are split into different eras of the SMP’s timeline now.
Currently with the way he’s handling XD, we can see George wants the Dream from the beginning back - the easier reality to face, in his eyes - but his mind recognizes that he isn't that same Dream in the present - the harder reality to face - and therefore the Dreamon lashes out. Because of this, George has to put more work into helping and teaching XD rather than either standing idly by or fighting back as he did with Dream originally.
Eventually, I think George will realize that everything regarding Dreamscape XD and Dream is, of course, a dream and isn't real, as much as he desperately wants it to be. He wants things to go back to how they were and have that second chance, and he has a hard time acknowledging the truth that it can't be that way. That's why he's created this dream world of his to cope with it. Unfortunately, by trying to relive what was through his dreams at times, though, he’s also reliving the tragedies because he isn’t doing anything to change what happened/happens.
Fun as they may be at times, his dreams simply can't replace reality in the end, and that harsh reality is he misses his best friend more than anything no matter who he's become... But he also hasn't made any effort to reach out to him, choosing to avoid the problems between them rather than solve them just as before. With hope and time, he'll learn that isn't going to work anymore, and the best way to get back to the sort of reality he wants is to face the problems head on, and that include swallowing his fear and facing Dream again.
The real Dream, mind you - not XD, and not Dreamscape Dream. His Dream, even if George doesn't feel like the prisoner in Pandora is that person anymore because he is. Dream is still Dream regardless of what he's done, and George should recognize that as his friend if he still thinks of Dream as such in return. He should've recognized that back during the dethronement era, but the past is the past, and as I've said, they can't go back. Now all he can do is move on and look to move past it, hard as it may be to navigate if there's any hope for their friendship left.
Bottom line with all that I've just said is this: Life just isn’t meant to be lived like a dream and it never should be. George needs to wake up from that belief to actually fix the things wrong in his life rather than ignore them, or wish that they were different without putting in effort to make them so.
George needs to face Dream, not just dream about doing it with a substitute.
Been a hot minute since I've written and read over this - I'm talking back when XD was first properly introduced - but I still stand by most of it lmao
SMP DNF is just very messy and honestly tragic when you really delve into it - and it still very much is - but there's always room for things to change and people to grow, so who knows if that's how it'll stay when we reach the end? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Hope you enjoyed my word vomit, I'll be here in my hermit hole if ya need me...
-
/dsmp /rp
[by @lady-star-strings]
okay wow; this is so well thought out and its all forming in my head
(now im thinking about the fact that the whole server knows about dreamxd's existence tho, not just george. but with george being able to bring things from his dreams to reality, its not so far off to assume dreamxd formed and became a real thing after george's dreams and feelings manifested him)
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joifaith10 · 2 years
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I’m officially in a rabbit hole.
I haven’t watched Danny Phantom in years and all of a sudden decided to read his crossover fanfiction. Since December or January I’ve almost obsessively read all of the fanfiction I found with either marvel characters or DC characters (I like Batman adopting Danny to be apart of the bat family and love him being a security guard at Arkham). I even re-downloaded this app and logged into my old account after abandoning it for almost 3 years? Now I’m checking this app everyday for updates on the tags and new head cannons to emerge.
Now I would like to rant.
Before reading the Danny’s fanfiction I never thought about how he actually got his powers. I never really thought about the angst and emotional problems he went through beside the show presenting it as him just being a teenager. He literally died in that portal and it just never occurred to me.
A few brief thoughts (that no one asked for):
Vlad
Vlad sucks will never like his creepy character. But after deep diving into this story I understand why he’d be mad at Jack because of the accident. I feel like he should also be upset at Maddie to a degree I mean after he cut his ties or they stop busting he literally suffered in the hospital by himself. Despite all that though he’ll alway be a villain to me because he’s picking a fight with a 14 year old.
Jazz
Jazz is cool although I feel like she start caring more about Danny after she realized ghost were real. The first episode it mentioned she never offered Danny a ride to school which made her parents think she was a ghost. After the spectra thing she start looking out for Danny more after discovering his secret. Also they go to the same school and I don’t know or remember if she ever tried to do anything about Danny being bullied. Despite all that there are a ton of episodes that shows she cares about Danny and I know little siblings can be a tad bit irritating. To warrant ignoring them and their problems till you realize their giant problems…No.. but she cares.
Jack and Maddie
Maddie is definitely the more dangerous one. Maddie loves Danny especially after watching the mother son episode but she definitely hates ghost more than Jack. Jack has caught and released phantom after catching him in order to get his help. I feel like he would come around to the 1/2 ghost thing better. Maddie would accept him but I’m leaning towards she’ll try to fix him and convince everyone he can go back to normal like he was before the accident. Jack roles with punches Maddie would wallow in guilt and try to cure him for her mistake. And after looking at this show almost 12 years older and reading about them I can see how their considered neglectful. And their house should have definitely been a bio hazard for anyone to live in along with their lack of regard for lab safety. Their best friend got hospitalized for not being careful in the lab and yet they still contaminate food and have the lab junky usually leaving it as a chore for the kids? This begs the question where did they get ectoplasm from before the portal opened? I’m thinking they were able to make most of their ghost catching gadgets work after Danny’s accident. They were able to make more efficient and dangerous weapons because of it. They had the plans they just needed the platform (couldn’t resist).
Sam and Tucker
I ship Danny and Sam. Tucker was probably friends with Danny the longest and then Sam came along and joined the group. I think it’s funny how all of them have a dark side (pharaoh/ghost power Tuck. It’s made known that Tucker is a little jealous and power hungry) Sam (controlled by undergrowth supporting him not liking what happening to the environment although she did suggest alternatives. Also can be a little jealous and don’t express her feelings well at times.) Despite everything though I love this trio. Their best friends till the end and always have each other back especially after learning lessons, trauma bonding, and still finding time to enjoy themselves.
Danny
Definitely OP. He’s a halfa for less time than Vlad has been and got double the powers. He got almost as much or more than Superman. He lacks training more than experience. After Dark Dan he also got ice powers something I’m pretty sure his evil self didn’t have. Despite him being dumb at times like stealing Fright Night sword. He’s more dumb in lack of common sense than books smart. If he had time to study all his grade would probably be A’s or B’ (as shown in the episode where lancer made him study or he worked out with Dash by force) He has a good heart and just want to the right thing. ( not counting any payback he got at Dash or anyone else that picks on him cause everyone got a limit). People in Amity Park are oblivious and I feel like Danny secret would be out if he traveled outside to other heroes like Superman, Batman, Ironman, Black Widow (always suspicious) and others. He’s terrible at lying especially on the spot, he has a lot of tells like rubbing the back of his neck and his voice going high towards a shout when lying. He’s better at not speaking of his secret with people he don’t know but if anyone asked him questions directly that he considered harmless or heroes he definitely would be caught off guard and start sweating or just defiant and deny everything.
Finale
Some of this may be confusing cause I rambled these thoughts off the top of my head at 2:15 am. But they keep circulating in my head so I got to get them out. None of my friends are into fanfiction and they’ll try to listen but it get confusing if you don’t understand the basis or never seen or remember the show. So I decided to share on tumblr and stop being nervous to post opinions. Especially since no one will really see it especially if I don’t add tags (which I will).
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