#but Sam prepped it had it saved it used it in the one moment it counted

[arabella-strange]

no spoilers but

Sam Fucking Riegel

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Seat Belts Save Lives

Sam and Dean Winchester & little sister!reader

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: You and your brothers get into a car accident, and Dean blames himself.

“Would you put your seatbelt on?”

You rolled your eyes at Sam’s demand and ignored him.

“You know that’s not safe.”

“Eh, leave her be Sammy,” Dean cut in. “We’ve got a long drive, if she wants to lay out back there let her. She should get some sleep anyway.”

You resisted the urge to stick your tongue out at Sam as you made yourself comfortable in the back.

“Whatever,” Sam grumbled, reaching for the radio.

“Excuse me?” Dean scoffed as he slapped Sam’s hand away. “You don’t get to change my station, you know the rules, Sammy.”

“They’ve played the same song four times in a row, Dean. I figured you didn’t notice, so I’d give you a hand.”

“I noticed,” Dean said defensively. “I like this song.”

“So did I,” Sam huffed. “But that was before—Dean, watch out! Hey—“

Sam reached over to jerk the steering wheel, but it was too late. The car that had appeared seemingly out of nowhere—on the wrong side of the road—slammed into the side of the Impala. You felt your body leave the seat, your head slamming into the back of Dean’s seat.

And then it all went black.

You awoke to the sound of Dean calling your name. Your head felt heavy, your ears were ringing, and the world seemed fuzzy for a few minutes before your head cleared. Once it did, you wished it didn’t.

Your head was pounding, and slick, sticky red was oozing out of a cut on your leg and your head. Your body felt like it was on fire, and when you craned your neck painfully you saw why. Along with the bleeding cuts, your wrist was twisted at a strange angle, and the Impala’s door was dented in, pinning you down so that you couldn’t even feel your legs, much less move them.

“Y/N.” You could hear the sigh of relief in Sam’s voice, coming from near your head. “Dean, her eyes are open.”

“Ok baby.” Dean’s voice came from down by your feet, on the right side of the car. “I’m gonna lift the door up, and Sammy’s gonna pull you out. I need you to brace yourself, this is gonna hurt.”

“Ok,” you whimpered, your hands beginning to shake.

“Alright, I’ve got her,” Sam told Dean, grabbing hold of you under your arms and preparing to pull you out.

“Alright. One…two…” Dean grunted at three as he lifted the door. The change in pressure sent pain shooting up your legs, and you screamed as Sam pulled you free of the car.

“I know, I know honey.” Sam collapsed in the dirt next to the Impala, hugging you to his chest as you cried. “It’s over.”

The pain refused to subside, and within seconds you gave into the dark that overtook your vision.

…

“She’s unconscious,” Sam said as Dean knelt next to his two younger siblings.

“The ambulance is on the way.”

“Dean, she’s lost a lot of blood.”

“She’ll be fine,” Dean insisted. “She’s gonna be just fine.”

…

“Is she ok? What’s going on in there?”

“She’s still unconscious,” the nurse told Sam. “We’ve finished stitching her wounds, and we’re prepping for a blood transfusion, but her blood type is hard to find.”

“Me, use me,” Dean spoke up. “We have the same type.”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost a lot of blood, too,” The nurse responded. “We can’t risk—“

“I don’t care about the risk!” Dean barked. “Use my blood!”

“I—um…” the nurse seemed unsure how to respond. “Let me talk to the doctor.”

As soon as she was gone, Sam turned to his big brother. “Dean, you shouldn’t—“

“I have to. She could die, do you get that? I have to do this.”

“They can find someone else, I’m sure—“

“You don’t get it, Sam,” Dean sighed.

Sam was angry. “Don’t get it? What could I possibly not get about this, Dean?”

Dean was silent for a long moment before he spoke.

“I told her not to wear her seat belt.”

…

You awoke to an annoying beeping to your right, and a sharp antiseptic smell hanging in the air. You blinked your eyes open, trying to adjust to the too-bright lights. Once you had, you caught sight of Sam sleeping in a chair to your right. You turned to the other side to see Dean sitting at an uncomfortable angle in an even more uncomfortable chair, his head drooping and your hand clutched in his.

When you squeezed his hand, his head popped up.

“Hey baby,” he breathed, a grin splitting his face. “How do you feel?”

“My head hurts.” You were used to ‘sucking it up’ as Sam and Dean did, saying you were fine as long as nothing was broken. But you didn’t have the energy to lie right now; it hurt, and all you wanted was your big brother to baby you and make it feel better.

“I’m sorry.” Dean reached up his free hand and brushed your hair away from your face. “Baby I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” you said. “That guy came out of nowhere.”

Dean was about to respond, but stopped when Sam started to stir.

“Hey,” Sam grinned when he saw you awake. “You ok?”

“Been better.” You smiled weakly.

“The doc said you two can leave tomorrow,” Sam said.

“The two of us?” Your eyes turned back to Dean. “You’re hurt?”

“He didn’t get hurt that bad in the crash,” Sam interjected before Dean could speak. “But he lost some blood, and then he gave you some. Docs say he needs bed rest.”

“Which is ridiculous,” Dean scoffed. “I’m fine.”

“You gave blood after getting injured? Dean, are you nuts?”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you got rare blood.” Dean tried to deflect with a joking smile.

“Dean.” You remained serious.

“Look,” Dean sighed. “You needed blood, I gave you some blood, it’s not a big deal.”

“You can’t just—“

“I don’t want to talk about it, alright?” Dean insisted. “We’re all ok. That’s all that matters. Now get some rest, ok?”

You said nothing, and Dean’s words made you finally realize just how tired you felt.

Sam leaned over and kissed your head before leaning back in his chair, but Dean stayed right next to you, your hand gripped in his. You felt yourself slowly slipping back into sleep, but just before you gave in to your exhaustion, you heard Dean whisper to you—

“I’m sorry. I’m never gonna let anything like this happen again.”

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy

[waywardxwords]

Chapter 8 - Save Me

Summary: After a random encounter introduces you to Dean Winchester, you can't shake the magnetic pull you feel towards him. For years, you've felt like everything in your life is under control--a promising career, financial stability and no real responsibilities. Dean's a hunter; it's his life and job. But somehow when you meet, your worlds are flipped upside down and you have to decide if it's a chance worth taking.

Chapter Warnings: Slight language; there's a ton of dialogue in this one but I feel like it's necessary to prep for the chapters ahead

Pairing: Dean Winchester x female!reader

Word Count: ~3k

[1][2][3][4][5][6][7]

If you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know how you felt about going to Kansas for the unforeseeable future. While it wasn’t like you went into an office everyday and you could really work from anywhere within the United States, you had still built your life in Virginia. You had friends—especially Jen—and it felt weird leaving her here, unable to defend herself. But Dean had assured you she would be taken care of, and you knew that you were unable to defend yourself against these monsters Dean and Sam knew how to fight. 

“You about ready?” Dean asked as he tapped softly on your opened bedroom door. 

A heavy sigh fell from your lips as you looked at your packed-to-the-brim duffel bag and backpack. Dean said it was important to pack as light as possible, but without knowing when you’d be back, it was hard to be selective in what you brought. 

“I think so,” you mumbled, your lip caught between your teeth yet again. You released it as Dean stepped into the room. 

“Hey, I know this is a lot to take in,” Dean started slowly. Both of the boys kept treating you like you were made of glass, which was a little bit annoying but also made sense. It felt like you were all waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“I’m okay,” you said out loud for him, but also for yourself. “I’m not really a big fan of the unknown…I’m a planner.” You mumbled as you looked around at your things.

“Not big on taking chances, huh?” Dean chuckled softly as his eyes watched you move. Again, it was like he was waiting for it all to set in and for you to crumble.

“Nope,” you sighed as you finally looked back at him. “Rule follower, remember?” You managed a half-smile as you remembered the first time you met in Atlanta.

“Oh, I remember,” Dean smirked back. He took a few steps towards you and you both sat on the edge of your bed. “Just keep in mind–this doesn’t have to be forever.” Your head had dipped a bit, so he moved his to find your gaze. 

“I get that,” you nodded. You didn’t want to offend him; this was his life. He was used to packing an ‘oh shit’ bag and getting out of town. He was used to all of the things that went bump in the night. You, on the other hand, were still trying to wrap your mind around it all. “I just wish I could circle a date on the calendar and know when I could come home.”

Dean nodded as he processed your words. “Tell ya what,” he started. “How about we take it one day at a time, for now,” he paused but you waited for the ‘and then’ part. “Once we get back to Kansas, we can sit down and come up with a plan. Figure out what it looks like so we can get you back home.” 

You didn’t want to be presumptuous, but there was a tone in his voice that almost sounded like he wasn’t looking forward to that. But since everything had happened, you really hadn’t been given a moment to figure out what this was between you and Dean.

“That sounds fair,” you answered honestly. Dean smiled and seemed hesitant, but leaned over and kissed the side of your head anyway.

“Good,” he seemed okay with your answer. He sighed and looked around at the rest of your room. “Anything I can do to help?”

You pushed your hair behind your ears and followed his gaze as you, too, looked around. “I don’t think so,” you said softly. “I’ve packed just about everything that will fit into my bags. I’m just worried I’m forgetting something.” 

“We do have stores in Kansas, ya know,” Dean winked as he stood and reached for your duffel. “Jesus, woman.” He muttered as he slung it over his shoulder. “You got a dead body in here, or what?”

You managed a laugh as you stood to follow him and slung your backpack up on your shoulders. “No, Dean, I think I’ll leave the dead bodies to you.” You patted him on the shoulder and walked just beyond him, but you heard him laugh as you rounded the corner into the hallway.

“Everything locked up?” Sam asked as you closed up the front door and headed to meet the boys in the driveway.

“Yep,” you sighed and readjusted your backpack a bit. “I mean, it probably doesn’t matter when it comes to demons, right? They can get through locked doors, I’m guessing.”

They didn’t answer you directly but nodded slightly. “I’m guessing you want to bring your car to Kansas?” Dean asked as he eyed your garage door.

“Oh, absolutely,” you answered quickly. “I just figured I would follow behind you guys, if that’s okay.” You said as you used the keypad on the side of the garage to type in your PIN number that opened the door. 

Sam and Dean stared at you, confused for a minute. “Sam’s flying back to Kansas,” Dean said. “This is a rental so I figured I’d drop it off on the way and hitch a ride with you, if that’s alright.” His words made you turn around slowly and your brows pulled together in confusion. 

“Wait,” you started carefully. “You flew here?” 

Dean caught why you were so surprised and flashed his white teeth in a small smile. He pulled at the back of his neck as Sam watched you both look at each other. “Sweetheart, I don’t own European cars. Don’t drive ‘em either, if I can help it.” He shrugged as he thumbed to the Volkswagen Jetta in your driveway. 

“Okay,” there was more you wanted to say but you decided not to rub in how much Dean hated flying in front of Sam. You weren’t familiar with their dynamic at all, but Dean had told you that he didn’t like being afraid, and that he always tried to be strong for his brother. You didn’t want to embarrass him or say something you shouldn’t in front of Sam. “Do I wanna know why you have to get back to Kansas quickly?” You turned your gaze to the younger Winchester. 

Sam chuckled softly and shook his head. “Work…related,” he mumbled. “So probably not.”

You nodded once and turned back to your car. “Okay, then,” you breathed. “I’ll follow you to the airport and wait for you to drop off the rental.” 

You loaded up your backpack and Dean tossed your duffel bag in the car.  As you both turned away, you faced each other, maybe a foot apart. 

“I’ll see you at the airport,” he said softly. 

“Be safe,” you said back as you studied his features and tried to read what he was thinking. He nodded, and after one more look, he went to walk back to the rental car. 

Before he could step away, you took a chance. You reached for his jacket and tugged so he turned back to you. With his jacket still between your fingers, you pressed your lips to his in a rather quick, but hard kiss. For a moment, he paused but then his hands cupped your face as he kissed you back. 

As the pop echoed around you, you didn’t notice how Sam had turned to give you some privacy and scratched awkwardly at the back of his head. “What was that for?” Dean asked as his eyes looked between yours. 

“To say I’m sorry, again, for not believing you,” you started softly but continued before he could say anything. “And for saving my life.” A small smile tugged up the corner of his lip just enough for his dimple to appear. 

“I don’t want you to apologize to me again, got it?” His thumb caressed your cheek gently. 

“No more apologizing from either of us,” you stared into his eyes until he nodded. 

“Deal,” he agreed, though somewhat hesitantly. 

“Okay,” you pulled back and waved at Sam. “Thanks to you too, Sam.” You called after him. He turned back around and nodded. “And I guess I’ll be seeing you in Kansas.”

“I’ll see you there,” he nodded as he waved. “Drive safe.”

You nodded and watched Dean walk back to the car. Just before he climbed into the driver’s seat, he called out after you. “And I’ll be seeing you soon.”

Even after everything, you couldn’t help the heat that radiated in your cheeks or the way a smile pulled across your lips. 

Dean had dropped Sam off at the drop off area at the airport. Once he had gathered his backpack, you followed Dean to the rental car return. It only took a few minutes before you popped the trunk to your Toyota Camry and waited for Dean to toss in his duffel bag. 

He pulled open the passenger door and leaned down. “You want me to drive?” He asked carefully. Dean seemed like the kind of guy who preferred driving, but you smiled and shook your head ‘no’ anyway. 

“How about I take the first shift? And then we can switch,” you suggested. He seemed content enough with that response and climbed in. “Sorry it’s not the Impala.” You offered with a small smile. 

“Ah, it’s alright,” he sighed as he pulled on his seatbelt. “I’ll get you in a Chevy or Ford, eventually.” He smiled back. You chuckled softly and shook your head as you pulled away from the airport. 

“What’s the address?” You asked as you toyed with the navigation on the dash. 

Dean grumbled, something about fancy cars and shitty navigation systems but you just rolled your eyes. He plugged in an address for Lebanon, Kansas. 

“Jesus,” you mumbled, as the screen totaled your drive time at 20 hours and 32 minutes. 

“Buckle up, sweetheart. Hope you’re ready for a long drive,” Dean chuckled. It was already late into the evening, pushing midnight by now. 

“It’s weird, I feel like I’ve been up for days at this point,” you muttered as you adjusted the air and your seatbelt. 

“You sure you don’t want me to drive?” He eyed you carefully. That was the thing about Dean’s gaze: you could feel it even when you didn’t see it. 

“I’m alright. We can switch when we stop,” you shifted the car into drive and eased on the gas. Dean unbuckled his seat belt to pull off his jacket before he buckled it again. “I’m supposed to call Jen tomorrow. I’m not even sure what to say to her, she recognized you from the photos we found online.” The sound of your voice was anything but strong as your stomach flip-flopped. 

“I’m guessin’ the truth isn’t an option?” Dean asked. 

You shook your head no. “And say what? She got possessed by a demon named Meg, her eyes turned black and she flung me against the wall a few times? Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’d have me committed,” you fell into a comfortable speed as you got on the interstate and hit cruise control. 

Dean half chuckled and shook his head as he glanced out the passenger window and then back to the windshield, his features illuminated by the headlights of drivers coming down the other side of the highway. “That probably wouldn’t go over too well. It’s a lot for anybody to take in.”

You muddled over a thought before you said it out loud. “How did you take it when you first found out?” You asked him as you glanced between him and the road ahead of you. 

His brows kind of pulled together and you took that as his thinking face. “I don’t really know how to explain that,” he started softly. “It’s all I’ve ever known, really.”

Shock had to have graced your features but you tried to calm your expression. While you recognized this was all new to you, it wasn’t to Dean. And you certainly didn’t want to offend him. 

“When did you find out about the things that go bump in the night?” You asked him carefully. 

“When I was four,” he didn’t look at you when he answered. Instead, his gaze went out the passenger window again as he watched the trees pass by in darkness. 

“Four?! Dean, you were a baby,” you breathed. And then you remembered. “You were four when your mom died…”

There was a moment of silence that you took as his acknowledgment that you had the right idea. But then, he continued. 

“My Dad kind of went into overdrive at that point. Trying to find what killed her,” he explained. You nodded as you tried to absorb it. When he didn’t offer up anything additional, you broke the silence. 

“You were just a kid, Dean…” you felt a pang of sadness for the man next to you. It made you angry, even. “No kid should ever have to go through that.”

“No kid should have to lose their parent to some supernatural asshole, either,” he said back firmly. You somehow knew he wasn’t upset with you by the comment, just trying to make you understand. “Seeing my Dad go through that, and having to make sure Sammy was okay…” he shook his head as he trailed off. 

The dots started to connect for you. Dad was busy fighting the monsters, Dean had to take care of his brother, you kept your thoughts to yourself but made a mental note. He had to be strong—couldn’t be afraid. 

“Anyway,” he cleared his throat and resituated himself in his seat. “All that to say, I don’t know what it’s like, really, to be thrown into this world that I live in. But I know it can’t be easy.”

“I don’t want you to worry about me, Dean,” you answered quickly, and you meant it. It seemed as though Dean was worried about protecting everyone in his life and being strong through it. “I don’t want to burden you with that.”

“Sweetheart, I’m gonna worry about you whether you’re sitting right here next to me, or you’re thousands of miles away in another state,” he looked at you when he spoke. “And it’s not a burden.”

“Can I ask you something?” Your bravery to ask the hard questions surprised you. Something about being in the car with him for almost a full day made your usual resolve soften. 

“Shoot,” he stole another glance at you. 

“Do you like it? Fighting…monsters?” You asked, for lack of a better word. 

Dean mulled it over before he answered right away. “I like helping people,” he said simply. “I like being able to save people so they won’t have to go through the same thing we did.”

“But who saves Dean Winchester?” Your eyes found him in the dark car once again.

“I don’t need saving, sweetheart,” he smirked again, a hint of confidence to his tone.

“Everybody needs saving sometimes, Dean,” you answered softly.

The only noise around you came from the hum of the engine.

“I guess Sammy does,” Dean looked out the window. You could tell he didn’t want the conversation to continue at that point, so you switched gears slightly.

“Does it ever scare you?” The idea of fighting monsters terrified you, but you were curious if Dean was ever afraid. 

He seemed to process the question like it was something he had never been asked, which shocked you considering the line of work. “I mean, I guess sometimes. Usually when one of us is in trouble.” You nodded, but he continued. “When one of us is knockin’ on death’s door, I guess that scares me.”

Each new fact you found out about this life Dean lived in brought on a new wave of shock. “Death?” You asked him as you looked between him and the road. 

Dean chuckled, but you could tell it was from him being a bit uncomfortable. “Let’s save that one for another day,” he shifted in his seat. 

Maybe that was a good idea. You redirected the conversation slightly. “Where does your fear of flying fall on the scale of being scared?” You smirked. 

“Oh, that one’s still at the top of the list,” he winked with a wide smile that reflected the light from the streetlights as you drove, welcoming a lighter conversation.

“But you got on a plane anyway. To get to me,” you stole another glance in his direction. 

“Well, yeah,” he said simply. “Sam said I should let it go, that something must have made you change your mind. But when I couldn’t reach you…” he shook his head. “I just had to be sure you were alright.” His words caused a flutter to form in your stomach, and you smiled, but that was shortly followed by a yawn that tugged at your jawline. “Getting tired?” Dean asked.

You shrugged a bit but couldn’t help the nod that followed. “It’s been a really long day,” you sighed. “I guess I was more tired than I thought.”

“That’s what happens when shock starts wearing off,” he reached to place his hand just above your knee over your denim jeans. It was obvious it was meant as something comforting as his thumb traced small circles on the fabric there. “Why don’t we pull off? I can switch with you.”

“Dean, you need sleep, too,” you argued.

“We can stop eventually if I get tired, too. But I’m alright, sweetheart,” his voice was gruff and raspy–you could sense the exhaustion there, but you obliged.

There was a rest stop up ahead and you took the exit slowly. Once the car was in park, you opened the driver’s door to switch with Dean. As you both got settled in your new seats, Dean pressed a quick kiss to your temple before he adjusted the mirrors. 

“You just get some rest,” he said gently. 

You nodded against the headrest of the seat and closed your eyes. “Night, Dean.” It wouldn’t take long for sleep to find you.

A/N: Happy Thursday, friends! I know this chapter probably felt a bit "filler" with the dialogue, but it was important for the development of future chapters. I promise things will get more interesting in the next chapter!

Let me know what you think! I appreciate all the likes, comments & reblogs more than you know!

Chapter 9 will be posted on (or maybe before, TBD) Thursday, 4/25!

Chapter 9 Preview:

One blink, then two. The hum of the engine and vibration in the seat of the car reminded you where you were. There were so many emotions that coursed through you as you remembered: demons, monsters, Dean. 

Your nose twitched as you smelled the air and your eyes were drawn over to Dean. The sun was out now–high in the sky.

“Dean?” You cleared your throat as you shifted in the passenger seat to sit up fully. He did a double take and you saw the smile spread across his lips.

“Morning, sunshine,” the gruffness to his words and the look on his face made your stomach flip–or was that hunger? You settled on a mixture of both. 

“What time is it? Where are we?” You asked as blinked a few more times to try to take in your surroundings. 

“It’s about 8:30,” Dean answered as he glanced at the clock. “And we’re about an hour outside of Louisville, Kentucky.” 

“Jesus, I slept for eight hours, Dean! You should’ve woken me up,” you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and felt around your hair inconspicuously. You didn’t want to give away that you were slightly concerned with what you looked like after passing out in the passenger seat. God, what if you drooled?! You swiped your fingers across your mouth quickly. 

“Nah, you needed the sleep,” he answered simply. “You had a rough few days there.”

“Thanks,” you breathed. Suddenly your stomach groaned and you hoped he couldn’t hear it. “I’m starving. How about we stop and switch off again?”

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[imaginecolby]

secret santa || c.b.

summary: you and colby share a sweet gift exchange

christmas was one of your favorite times of year. you would gather around with your friends, exchange gifts, play games, drink and be merry.

this year, sam and colby were hosting the festivites in their new vegas home, having invited some new friends, as well as others from back in LA.

prepping for the party had been pretty easy. you and katrina were in charge of decorations and the boys took care of the food and drinks. you and katrina had created a beautiful winter wonderland in the communal areas of the home, with reindeers and santas all over the place.

once the night had arrived, everything was set perfectly in place, and you couldn't wait for everyone to be there.

you were in the guest room getting ready for the night, having just finished doing your hair. you were changing into the outfit you bought for the night. just as you finished putting your jewelry on, you heard a knock on the door.

"come in!" you called out. you watched as the door opened and colby came into the room.

"hey! thanks again for helping us get everything together. it really was a huge help.” he said.

“oh, you don’t have to thank me. im always here to help.” you said with a smile. he smiled back and gave you a once over.

“you look really nice.” he said, avoiding your gaze.

“thanks.” you said awkwardly, feeling the redness rush to your cheeks.

your history with colby was long and complicated. it was no secret that you had feelings for each other. but one thing or the other would prevent you from taking that leap and finally getting together.

throughout the night, you and colby were inseparable. you sat together at dinner, were on the same teams during the christmas games. something was different about him tonight, you just couldn’t figure out what.

this year, your friend group opted to do a secret santa gift exchange. you sat around in a circle around the living room and began exchanging your gifts. once everything calmed down and people were just hanging out and drinking, colby came over to you.

“hey, can we talk?” he asked.

“oh, should i be nervous?” you teased. he shook his head and lead you up to his room.

“so, i know i wasn’t your secret santa this year,“ he said, walking over to his dresser, “but i did get you a gift.” he flipped open a velvet box, revealing a necklace, a charm of your first initial and your birthstone scattered throughout.

“colby, oh my god! this is beautiful!” he smiled and took it from the box, clasping it behind your neck. “thank you.” you said softly.

“looks even more beautiful than i pictured.” he said, watching as the stones sparkled in the light. he pulled you up from his bed and into his arms, holding you tight. his face slowly inching towards yours.

“colby,” you sighed. you looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. “are we really about to let this happen?”

“i hate that we’ve waited this long. we know that we like each other, what’s gonna stop us this time?” he asked. his eyes were dark, frustration filling them with a haze.

you stared up at him as a wave of courage washed over you. your body moving involuntarily as you reached up to press a kiss to his lips.

as you kissed, it felt like everything was falling into place. as if this was the one moment you were waiting your entire life for. it felt like hours passed but still as if it wasn’t long enough.

separating only to catch your breath, colby rested his forehead against yours. his eyes met yours and you read a sense of relief on his face.

“so i guess we are gonna let this happen.” he laughed.

“i guess so.” you smiled, kissing him again. “i just feel bad now since i didn’t get you a christmas gift. i was saving it for your birthday.”

“that kiss was all i could ever want, and more.”

[taelonsamada]

I’ve finally amassed enough fanfics that I figured it was time to do this lol keeps me from having to dig through my tags if I ever want to reblog a fic I’m particularly pleased with, and makes it easier for all you lovely folks if for some crazy reason you want to reread something of mine XD ♥️ 😭 🫂

Oneshots:

Sick & Tired

G Rating

Sam/Darlin

3,807 words

Sam pushes himself too far, experiencing magical depletion syndrome for the first time in a long while. Leaving Darlin to get to experience what they put him through each time they push themselves too far and he has to take care of them. He never told them how cute it could get.

It Takes Two to Two-Step

G Rating

Sam/Darlin

2,015 words

It’s Darlin’s choice for what they do on date night, and after a week of research and prep, they’re ready to show Sam some new moves they learned.

You’re My Forever

G Rating

Sam/Darlin

953 words

During one of their late night movie dates, well after Sam has passed out asleep, Darlin sinks into their thoughts about a small detail, a key difference between them and Sam, that will have a huge impact on their life.

The Sunday Morning After

G Rating

Asher/Darlin/David

1,532 words

David wakes up early Sunday morning after a night out drinking with the pack, and discovers he’s not alone in bed. (Part One of The Weekend Series)

Ran Into An Old Friend

G Rating

Avior/Starlight, Sam/Darlin

2,456 words

Avior and Starlight manage to escape their hellscape. Upon landing on the streets of Dahlia, they run into (literally) an old friend of Avior’s.

You’re Such A Nerd

G Rating

Sam/Darlin

2,020 words

One evening while (once more) being patched up, Darlin reveals to Sam that they’re a LotR nerd. Naturally Sam uses this information to his advantage.

Phantom

T Rating

Vincent/Lovely

3,439 words

Vincent lost more than his old life when Surge crashed over twenty years ago. And while he’s adapted and accepted that change along with the rest of the changes that night caused, sometimes he wakes up and it’s harder to face. Thankfully, he no longer has to face those particular nights on his own.

Honesty is the Best Medicine

Teen Rating

Sam/Darlin

2,771 words

The final confrontation with Quinn finally goes down. And so does Darlin. Now Sam’s holding bedside vigil, waiting for the moment they wake up, refusing to leave their side until they do. All that magic poured into their body ends up having an interesting side effect when they finally do wake up.

Patch Job

Teen Rating

Sam/Darlin

1,045 words

Takes place in between “Vampire Tends to Your Injuries” and “Your Bond With a Vampire” - a quick peek at some of the interactions they had before their flirting got serious. Darlin calls Sam up for some help after a bad fight.

Want You To Be The Last One I Love

Teen Rating

Sam/Darlin

2,700 words

Darlin interrupts a mugging and gets hurt in the process, delaying their plans for movie night with Sam. They wrestle with the wave of guilt that overwhelms them at the thought of how often it seems like he’s saving them, and how much trouble they must be causing him.

The War In My Head

Teen Rating

Sam/Darlin

2,736 words

Set shortly after the confrontation with Quinn. Sam decides to test his own boundaries and push himself to finally give Darlin what he believes they need. It doesn’t go as he planned.

The Saturday Night Before

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Asher/Darlin/David

6,144 words

The drunken events that led to David waking up with Asher and Darlin in his bed. (Part Two of The Weekend series)

While The Stealth’s Away

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Asher/Milo/Sweetheart

3,597 words

Sweetheart is out of town for a DUMP convention, and Milo’s already missing them. While texting them, things turn steamy between the two of them. Lucky for Milo, Asher’s home and more than eager to help him out.

Slippery When Wet

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Sam/Darlin

3,013 words

Sam swings by Darlin’s apartment to spend the weekend, and discovers they’ve finally got the hot water in the shower working. Naturally, they celebrate.

By The Light Of The Moon

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Sam/Darlin

4,098 words

Sam and Darlin spend the last few hours of the Winter Solstice alone, enjoying racing through the trees under the moon. The energy of the night affects them both, and a more… adult… version of tag is suggested. Get caught, lose a piece of clothing. First one naked loses. Or wins. Depends on your point of view

Breaking in the Throne

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Sam/Darlin

10,279 words

Once the chaos of the Cataclysm has passed, newly crowned King Samuel Collins puts out a notice. Seeking out the lone wolf he’d encountered in the streets ages ago, long before the world had fully gone to shit. When they finally answer the summons, Sam’s determined to do whatever it takes to keep them at his side.

Joyride

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Sam/Darlin

3,793 words

Darlin’ tells Sam that they have a motorcycle. This awakens something in Sam he never realized he had a thing for.

Wanna Bet?

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

David/Angel

2,793 words

David is craving his mate, who’s a bit too preoccupied with Minecraft at the moment for his tastes. So he makes a bet with them. Realizing very quickly that he may have bitten off more than he can take.

Payback

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Milo/Sweetheart

1,421 words

Milo gets his revenge for what his Sweetheart put him through. And makes up for every agonizing second they put him through.

Open Up For Me

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Geordi/Cutie

5,156 words

Cutie really likes Geordi’s voice in their head. Especially when they have him taken apart to such a degree that he can’t even form words. Even better if he can’t speak out loud at all…

Signal Fire

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Damien/Huxley

5,442 words

Set after the recent DAMN bois reunion. Huxley wasn’t willing to wait to fully unpack before he had everyone over to his new place. He just got enough put away to be able to host properly, and stacked the rest of the boxes out of the way. Damien elects to hang back when everyone is leaving and offers to help him finish unpacking.

Help Me Breathe Again

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Asher/Babe

2,940 words

The title of Alpha carries a lot of weight to it. That weight can often become overwhelming. Especially for someone who never wanted the title to begin with. On the days when the weight becomes intolerable, Asher knows he can look to Babe to help ease it. That they’re a safe place where he can drop the title of Alpha. Where he can breathe again. Where he can just be Asher.

In Progress:

Sharp Mouth

Teen Rating

Angel/David, Sam/Darlin, Angel & Darlin Friendship

23,068 words

Angel & Darlin don’t seem on paper like they’d make a good match as friends, when in truth the two of them end up thick as thieves. Much to David’s delight and exasperation.

Return to Shore

Mature Rating

Angel/David, Asher/Babe, Sam/Darlin, Milo/Sweetheart

29,943 words

Imperium AU - David Shaw is stubborn. He’s heard that his entire life. Why should that stubbornness disappear in death? David defies every law known to man and nature, and regains his hold on the shore of Brachium’s river. Quite literally clawing his way back to life. However, he comes back… not quite whole.

Between You, Me, & The Fence Post

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Sam/Darlin, Asher/Babe, Angel/David, Milo/Sweetheart

100,266 words

Shaw Ranch AU - No Powers AU - David Shaw is newly in charge of the ranch that has been in his family for multiple generations. He’s struggling with the new weight of responsibilities, having to go from working the ranch and hanging out with the workers that felt more like family, to being their boss and protecting the ranch from outside forces that would see it torn down. Watching those around him grow and find love while he walks his halls alone. The ball of chaos that showed up on his ranch asking for a job and won’t stop flirting with him was an added complication he didn’t expect.

Leave It All On The Ice

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Milo/Huxley, David/Darlin

18,639 words

Hockey AU - No Powers AU - The Dahlia Dires are in for a hell of a season. They just squeaked in to qualify for the Stanley Cup Playoffs for the first time since their coach Gabe Shaw had played for the Dires himself years ago. On top of that, their team owner William Solaire managed to recruit star-player Huxley, fresh out of his graduation, to add to their lineup as a terrifyingly powerful defenseman. And Milo can’t take his eyes off of him.

Be Good For Me

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Sam/Darlin

13,560 words

Darlin & Sam are both very private people, with severe trust issues and a bad habit of carrying what feels like the weight of the world on their shoulders. Thankfully, they can turn to each other when that weight becomes too much, trusting each other to completely let go in ways they can’t around anybody else.

Office Hours

Explicit Rating (NSFW)

Sam/Darlin

6,144 words

Professor Samuel Collins, youngest teacher of Dahlia University, has a very dutiful TA that takes their job very seriously. Determined to not only excel in their own classes, but help him with the workload that comes along with teaching such a large class. Bending them over his desk four times a week wasn’t on the list of duties he initially gave them, but it’s one of their favourite tasks of the job.

Completed:

Redacted Winter Solstice Fics

G Rating

Angel/David, Milo/Sweetheart, Ivan/Baby, Sam/Darlin, Asher/Babe, Freelancer/Gavin, Damien/Huxley, Lovely/Vincent

10,344 words

A collection of Winter Solstice fics in which the various characters of Redacted celebrate the holidays

Look What I Found

G Rating

Asher/Babe

4,275 words

Asher is running a bit late in the middle of a bad rainstorm. Babe is getting more and more anxious, wondering what could be causing his delay. The answer to that is very fluffy, and very upset.

Sick As A Dog

T Rating

Sam/Darlin

9,851 words

Darlin is struck down by a severe illness. Leaving them weak, exhausted, delirious and helpless in their own home. Sam comes by to check on them and comfort them in their moment of vulnerability. …at least, they think it’s Sam.

My Turn to Heal You

Mature Rating

Sam/Darlin

10,144 words

Quinn lays a trap for Darlin. Sam is both the bait, and the trap itself.

~~~

I will do my best to keep this updated with each now story or chapter lol message me if there are any particular stories you want to be added to the tag list for, or if you’d like to be added to the ‘tag in everything’ list ♥️

[thel0re]

catalina  has  a  tragic  story.  both  her  parents  were  murdered  by  shapeshifters  when  she  was  thirteen  year  old  girl.  most  parents  wanted  their  kids  to  be  hunters  like  them,  but  her  parents  didn’t.  they  wanted  normal  for  her.  as  soon  as  they  were  murdered,  the  shapeshifters  took  form  of  her  parents.  ready  to  kill  her,  but  they  had  to  play  the  part.  using  their  memories  to  try  and  convince  her.  maybe  it  worked  for  about  five  seconds,  but  catalina  went  through  the  protocol  that  her  parents  always  ran  her  by.  throw  holy  water,  touch  silver,  all  of  it.  the  moment  the  silver  was  avoided,  that’s  when  they  came  after  her.  it  was  a  fight,  however  she  killed  them  and  ran  off.

she  lived  on  the  streets,  but  also  began  to  hunt.  it  wasn’t  a  good  life  for  her,  but  she  was  going  to  help  people  so  they  wouldn’t  suffer  the  burden  that  she  has.  but  while  on  a  hunt,  she  met  a  few  hunters  on  the  road.  they  were  kind  enough  to  take  her  in.  give  her  a  home  and  taught  her  ways  how  to  hunt  properly.  that’s  also  when  she  heard  of  huntercorp.  a  “superior”  hunting  company  ran  by  john  winchester.  it  was  some  fancy  lifestyle  of  hunters  that  believed  to  be  better  than  everyone.  which  she  despised.

in  her  mind,  hunting  is  not  some  suit  up  dress  up  kind  of  thing  where  you  go  off  and  get  bragging  rights  about  how  cool  you  are  or  rich.  it’s  doing  the  dirty  work  to  save  lives  and  not  asking  for  anything  in  return.  so  she  kept  away  as  long  as  she  could  as  she  continued  to  grow  up  into  the  hunter  that  she  is.

one  day,  the  huntercorp  got  a  wiff  of  her.  running  into  her  at  another  hunt.  she  beat  them  there  first  and  that  hunter?  that  stupid  tall  giant  with  his  man  bun?  yeah,  he  didn’t  like  being  outshown.  and  so  they  tried  to  go  after  her.  she  was  on  the  run  for  awhile  until  tanner  winchester  walked  into  a  bar  where  she  was  in  the  middle  of  an  investigation.  talking  to  her,  distracting  her  so  the  others  can  prep  in  the  back  to  snag  her.  he  was  pretty,  she’d  give  him  that,  but  she  was  working.  however,  the  moment  she  stepped  out,  she  was  taken.

by  the  time  they  got  to  huntercorp,  she  was  cuffed  up  and  in  some  sort  of  interrogation  room.  where  stood  manbun  sam  winchester,  collar  up  dean  winchester,  and  tanner  winchester.  she  was  not  pleased  and  may  have  thrown  manbun  insults  that  lead  sam  and  dean  to  walk  out.  leaving  her  with  tanner.  he  seemed  to  apologize,  but  she  remained  stone  cold.  and  soon  he  was  out  of  the  room  as  well.  not  long  after,  there  was  a  bright  light.  so  blinding  that  she  had  to  shut  her  eyes.  but  by  the  time  she  opened  them,  she  was  somewhere  else.  with  tanner.

it  was  a  nightmare  to  begin  with.  everything  felt  so  backwards.  and  then  they  ran  into  a  different  sam  and  dean  winchester.  who  did  real  hunting  and  not  rely  on  trust  funds  from  their  daddy.  and  thank  god,  no  manbun.  so  she  and  tanner  stuck  around.  slowly  preferring  this  world  better.  all  the  while,  learning  more  about  tanner  and  well..  let’s  just  say  she  didn’t  hate  him  as  much.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (February 26/2021) - ...What?

DreamXD helped George build a McDonald’s, Quackity’s double joined, Jack and Andrea went on a date with Sam and Foolish joining in as wingmen, Andrea was lured to the Egg, Wilbur (non-canonically) had a heart attack during a horse/footrace and died...

Just an average day in the Dream SMP, I suppose?

---

VOD LINKS:

Ranboo

Captain Puffy

Georgenotfound

Jack Manifold

[Andrea’s VOD was deleted due to leaked info, nothing to worry about though!]

---

- Puffy and Foolish work on their fast food restaurant

- After attempting to solve the mystery behind why George was banned on TikTok, Quackity decides that George should build a McDonald’s in Minecraft.

- DreamXD, the god of the server himself, appears to help them. As the owner of the land, he suggests that they renovate the Deal or No Deal house into a McDonalds. He happens to have some very convenient stacks of supplies. 

- They burn down the old house and begin to build. Wendy’s replies on Twitter and Dream ratios them.

- Quackity starts chasing George so he calls for Dream’s help and DreamXD attacks him as Quackity repents for his sins. Quackity logs out and DreamXD builds a pit and they fill it with lava.

- George shouts for Quackity to log in while dramatic music plays. 

Quackity: “Then so be it. So be it! I don’t care! So be it, George! If this is the destiny that I have to face, then I’ll face it with honor, George!”

- He’s known it all along...Quackity is the one who got him banned. Quackity’s the one who got them all banned! Quackity begins to chuckle. George finally put together the pieces.

Quackity: “You have no idea how much power I have, George...and guess what, I have no issues doing it over, and over, and over again.”

- Quackity decides that he’s not going to log in so that he won’t give George the satisfaction of watching him die. DreamXD types a suggestion to ban Quackity in chat.

George: “I have Dream on my side! DreamXD, he is the god of the Dream SMP server! He will RUIN you! He will delete you from the lore!”

Quackity: “DreamXD...you think gods scare me, George? Gods don’t scare me, George, they don’t.”

- Bad falls into the pit and has to get out.

George: “He’s quacked!”

Quackity: “I’m gonna walk out the door with honor, George, and I’m never giving you the satisfaction of watching me die.”

- Suddenly, DreamXD hits George into the pit of fire, revealing that he’s been with Wendy’s this entire time! George perishes in the fire as Quackity taunts him. 

Quackity: “LOOK AT YOU! Look at you fall into despair and death, thinking you’re one step above, but you have no one on your side, George. Nobody...nobody is on your side. Nobody has ever been on your side, George. That’s the funny part! That’s the funny part. Your little moments, your little moments where you think you have any sort of power...they’re just amusing, George. They’re so amusing to me. Have you realized it yet? Have you realized how you hold no power, ever, at all? Take this to the grave, George...you’re nobody.”

- DreamXD tells Quackity it’s clear to log on, but Quackity still doesn’t die. DreamXD then says that it was all an attempt to trick Quackity into logging in and calls for George to log back on.

DreamXD: “I was never with him, George...I’ve been by your side since the beginning, George...I promise.”

- They walk back to McDonald’s. DreamXD assures George that Quackity will pay for this. He murders Bad to cheer George up. DreamXD also makes George a server operator for a short moment.

- George runs back, shouting at Quackity to log in. Quackity replies that as long as he’s outside of George’s realm, they have no power over him. The instant he logs in, they have control. He won’t give them that satisfaction.

- George threatens to canonically ban Quackity for eternity. Bad warns him of the mark this might make on his soul. George presses enter...and it doesn’t work. 

Quackity: (laughing) “George...you really thought you had the power! You really thought you could do anything to me! George, you can’t! You can’t do anything to me! Not now, not ever, not as long as I live, George.”

“Long live Quackity, George...I never die.”

- Quackity announces that he will be building a salad store right across the street from George’s store, and there’s nothing George can do about it!

- quackitynumber2 joins the game. George tells him that if he sacrifices himself to the lava, he’ll forgive him. Quackitynumber2 does just that. They rescue real Quackity from the lava.

- DreamXD takes George to the Oogway Shrine to “pray.” 

- Sapnap comes on, very confused. They continue to ratio Wendy’s.

- Jack preps for his date. Foolish gives him a pep talk, then Wilbur briefly joins to ask if Andrea’s there yet. Antfrost arrives in a maid outfit.

- Andrea eventually comes onto the server. She dies once and Sam declares it canon. Sam gives Jack gifts for the date at Spawn.

- Jack and Andrea ride around in a boat a bit. The date continues as Antfrost and Sam work as diligent wingmen.

- Sam turns Jack into the waterman and shouts about Dreamons as he attacks. Jack runs away and waits for the invisibility to wear off while Sam, Punz and the others show Andrea Egg propaganda.

- Sam says they can see the Egg soon! Punz remarks that the Egg is nice. Jack freaks out when he hears about this and runs over, eager to stop Andrea from being mind-controlled.

- Jack makes it to Puffy’s McDonald’s and reunites with Andrea. 

- They continue to walk around, near the Eggpire meeting room. Sam greets them there, leads the two into the egg building and tells Andrea to stand in the center. Jack and Andrea jump down into the Egg Room.

Sam: Break it Andrea. Save the server. Do it.

- Jack warns her against breaking the blocks. Andrea jumps down from the Egg and looks at it.

Sam: DO YOU WANT TO BE A HERO??

Andrea: SIR

Andrea: MR AWESOME DUDE

Sam: Yes?

Andrea: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN EGG

Andrea: THAT IS NOT AN EGG

- She says this reminds her of health education classes. A fun way to teach people about the reproductive system. Sam tells her to break the Egg again.

- Sam tells her they need to break the Egg to leave, but Andrea dies by lava instead. Jack warns her that she only has one canon life left.

- Jack struggles to swim back up to the surface through the chute. Sam tells Andrea that he doesn’t see her surviving the night.

- Jack makes it to the surface and tries to get back to Andrea. Meanwhile, Sam tells Andrea that he’s way richer than Jack is. 

- Jack meets Andrea and Sam at Lemon City. Sam gets Andrea a horse. They decide to do a race. Andrea proposes that they sacrifice the loser. Foolish accuses Sam of cheating on Ponk.

- Ponk comes online.

Jack: Hi Fonk

Sam: LETS RACE

Ponk: Shut up home wrecker

WilburSoot joined the game.

- They make a call for all the racers. Wilbur joins and asks Jack for a few words in private.

- Once alone, Wilbur urges Jack to get out of there. This is not going well, he says. Jack insists that everything’s going fine! Wilbur tells Jack that Andrea asked him to serenade her.

- Jack points out that Wilbur did this last time. Wilbur tells him that was just him being a silly quirky goofster. This is him being real.Wilbur tells Jack to trust him.

Wilbur: “I have a plan...basically, you’re doing a race, right? What’s the worst thing that can happen during a race, you may be asking? I’ll tell you what:

“Wilbur Soot has a heart attack and dies.”

- The plan goes as follows: they start the race, Wilbur has a heart attack and dies, and in his last dying breath, he asks Andrea to tell the truth.

- The two rejoin the call with the plan in mind and meet at the Community House with Sam to begin the race.

Wilbur: “I sure hope my arteries will hold up!”

- The race begins! Jack, Andrea and Sam all start running, Andrea still on horseback. Wilbur calls out that his chest is hurting and Jack turns around to run back to him.

- With his last dying breath, Wilbur says to Andrea that she should tell Jack what she said to Wilbur. He then dies before they can perform CPR. Sam points out that Wilbur Soot is not the type to waste his last words. Andrea replies that they were going to sacrifice him anyway.

- Jack has the messages from Wilbur.

Sam: “Can you read those to us please? I wanna imagine that he wrote them about me.”

Jack: “Okay, he said -- you’re gonna struggle, it has my name in it.”

Sam: “Well, just, when you read your name, just say ‘Sam’ instead.

Jack: “Okay, he says, ‘I want to date Sam. That sounds fucking brilliant.’”

Sam: “Wilbur said that about me?! Oh my god, I have chills. I literally have chills right now. I got ghost bumpies.”

- Andrea asks what’s going on between Jack and Wilbur, and questions whether Jack is really in love with her. She decides to run away.

- Sam shows her the prison he built and brags that he’s the warden. Andrea’s horse explodes. Sam asks if they should lock Jack up, and Andrea says they should.

- After Andrea sings “My Humps,” Sam rapidly comes to the conclusion that he no longer wants anything to do with this date. 

- Jack and Andrea’s date continues as he leads her to the restaurant he made. 

- Afterwards, they go back to the mainland and Andrea sees L’manhole. Jack explains that this is where L’manberg was destroyed, and he fell into Hell. Andrea remarks that there used to be a sign here that said “I <3 Andrea” that now says “You </3 Little Penis” instead.

- They sail out into the ocean together. 

- Afterwards, Jack brings her to Foolish’s Temple of Undying. Jack says he’ll see her on their next date, if he’s still alive by then.

- Andrea leaves, and Sam speaks with Jack alone.

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

[forever-rogue]

116 and 139 from the prompt list with Bucky please

Prompts used: 

116. “I love you a lot,  but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”

139. “I thought you were a dream come true.”

A/N: Hello friends! I’m so glad to be writing for Bucky again. I hope you all enjoy! 🥺

Pairing: Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: none

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

Bucky paused as he started at the brass 314 just above the top of the door to your apartment. The delicate gold threading of his vibranium arm glinted in the bright, artificial lighting of the hallway, causing him to pause for a moment as he contemplated walking away and never coming back. But no; that wasn’t him anymore, he wasn’t going to continually run away and lock himself up and shut everyone out in the process. The time for that was over, despite how hopeless it seemed at times.

Besides all of the hesitations and reservations he experienced, you’d never once made him feel small or insignificant or like he was just that Bucky. You’d always managed to see him for who he was, and slowly, over time he worked to shed the layers of worry and fear and let you see him, the real him. The seemingly ever present gloves had come off, followed by his jacket, and every other little barrier he had put up over the years. When he’d first told you who he was, who he really was, he’d watched your face flicker through a series of emotions before a smile tugged on the corners of your mouth and you’d responded with a simple okay. Then you told him everything about yourself; trust wasn’t easy, you’d reminded him that day, and it was a two way street. If he allowed himself to be vulnerable enough to open up to you, you would do the same. 

It was hard to believe that it had been almost four months. In some ways it felt like no time had passed at all, and in other ways he felt like he’d known you for eons. He’d abhorred the concept of online dating, but for once, he was glad he had listened to Sam and Dr. Raynor and hadn’t deleted his profile on the spot. He had been ready to give up until he received the simple notification that you had matched with him and messaged him. Everything after that felt surprisingly...easy. You had proven to be a beacon of bright, brilliant sunlight in the seemingly endless storm. Not that he had told you that...not in those specific words anyway, but he had a lot of other tells that you picked up on.

As soon as he slipped back into reality and he prepared himself to knock, the door opened and he found you beaming at him. 

“Hi James,” his expression softened and any lingering doubt he had about staying was washed away as he held out a bouquet of your favorite flowers. Wide doe eyes met his and suddenly all he could think about was the fact that he really, really wanted to kiss you then and there, but he would save that for later if he felt bold enough to steal a kiss or two, “they’re beautiful! What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion,” he insisted, stuffing his hands into his pocket as was customary, offering a shrug of his shoulders, “I saw them when I was walking over and I thought you’d like them.”

“I love them,” you promised, a gentle hand on his forearm as you pulled him inside, “come on. And no hands in pockets! Not around me anyways.”

“Right,” he reminded himself with a light grimace as he stepped in and closed the door before shucking off his jacket and hanging it on your coat rack. Your apartment was small, not much bigger than his, but much more homey - he always enjoyed the warmth and comfort it provided. The whole place smelled delicious, and judging from the small mountain of dishes in the sink, he could see that you had been working away for some time. An odd, warm, sensation bubbled him in stomach as he trailed after you, noting the music you had on in the background. He made a mental note to ask you about the artist later as he was still getting a grip on what was popular...Sam wouldn’t let go of that one.

“Beer?” you nodded in the direction of the fridge as he sauntered over and made quick work of grabbing two bottles out. He set one down for you before studying you intently as you stirred the pot of pasta sauce. You’d noticed that about him, he was quiet, and aloof, always analyzing everything. But you relished into it too - when silence fell over the both of you it was never awkward or uncomfortable. You turned to him, a smile on your face as you raised an eyebrow at him, “what? Is there something on my face?”

“N-no,” he answered quickly as he took a swig of what he already deemed as liquid courage, “it’s just...how did you know I was at the door?”

You snorted at his question, barely able to contain a fit of giggles as it was his turn to raise his eyebrows at you. But god, did he love hearing that laugh; even if you thought it was a silly question, it was worth it just to hear your amusement, “really? That’s what you want to know?”

“Yeah,” he grinned back at you, “out with it.”

“Well,” you clinked the neck of your bottle against his before taking a long drink, “you’re always early, never more than ten minutes, but always at least five, from our planned time. You have a particular walk, not loud but not soft...just you. I dunno, but it’s distinct. It wasn’t hard to figure out. Plus I heard you and then you didn't knock, so I had to make sure you weren’t having some sort of ...panic out there. And maybe I was just really excited to see you.”

“Excited to see me?” he was incredulous. He wasn’t sure when someone had last told him that.

“I’m always excited to see you, James,” you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching over and gently putting your hand on his cheek. And he practically keened into your touch, eyes fluttering closed at the tenderness so you openly displayed, “oh! I almost forgot, will you grab a vase for the flowers so I can get them in water?”

“Of course,” he agreed. Of course he was ready to do almost anything for you, “one more question.”

“Shoot.”

“Why don’t you call me Bucky?” he kept his gaze trained on the vase as he pulled it from the cabinet and filled it with water. For some reason he was almost nervous to hear your answer. 

“You told me that only your family or friends called you Bucky,” you reminded him as he answered with a simple nod, “so I figured it was something earned, something that I should only call you if you trusted me enough to know you in such an intimate manner. I-I didn’t want to overstep your boundaries either. W-would you like it? If I called you Bucky?”

His throat felt tight and his heart constricted as he listened to your words. For once it wasn't a cloying, negative feeling but one he...enjoyed. How very odd. A silence fell over the kitchen as he arranged the flowers in their new home and you finished dinner. For the briefest second did you think you’d said something wrong, but after he set the flowers on the dining table, he turned to and nodded, a slow, sure thing, “yes. Please - call me Bucky.”

“Bucky,” you repeated softly, grinning from ear to ear to as you pulled out the loaf of bread to prep to throw into the oven to turn into garlic bread, “my Bucky.”

The singular use of the possessive might have been lost on you, but it most definitely wasn’t lost on James Buchanan Barnes. He gripped the edge of the table so tightly, he was surprised it didn’t break. Collecting himself for a moment, he came back over to you and offered to take the garlic and press to assist you in your little venture.

You were quick to playfully swat his hand away before nudging your hip with his, “I’ve got it. You go ahead and start getting plates and stuff ready.”

“Come on, I can totally help,” he insisted as you brandished the press at him, “how hard is it? You’ve done everything!”

“Nuh huh,” you insisted, “remember the first we had dinner at yours? You almost burnt the kitchen down because you didn’t pay attention. Not happening - I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”

“I-I do not suck,” his mouth ran dry as he gaped at you like a fish out of water. How easily the words had spilled from your mouth, without a second thought, without hesitation. He wondered if you’d even realized what you said, “I...umm-”

“Oh,” it was then that realization hit you and your face felt warmer than it ever had, “Bucky, I didn’t...I didn’t mean to say that...out loud. I’m sorry, please don’t...I’m sorry. I don’t want to seem too forward.”

‘Y-you love me?” a dark pink flush rose in his cheeks as you chose your next words carefully. You didn’t want to lie to him and backtrack on your declaration, but you didn’t want to drive him away either. Instead you settled on a small squeak and a slight nod, “I can’t even remember the last time someone told me that. Or the last time I felt that for someone else too. It’s been a long time.”

“Things haven’t exactly been easy or normal for you, Bucky,” you laughed lightly as he came closer and left only a minuscule amount of space between your bodies. You could practically feel the heat radiating off his body as it took every fiber of your being not to throw yourself at him then and there, “but you deserve kindness and love as much as anyone else, if not more so. You are a good man Bucky, despite what some people want to believe and despite what your mind tells you sometimes. The last few months with you have been...the most wonderful. You’ve made me so happy. I hope to be able to give you even a fraction of that in return.”

“You have made me happier than I thought I deserved to be,” he admitted as it became your turn to take a step closer. If you leaned in now, your lips would almost brush his. And god, you wanted to kiss him - until you were breathless, until it was the only thing you knew. The two of you had taken it slow, upon requests from both of you - Bucky for the obvious reasons and you after a very rough break up. It hadn’t been much more than sweet kisses and honeyed whispers, but he meant so much to you. You liked how things were progressing, but you couldn’t deny you would always take more, however much he was willing to give you, “when I first saw and met you, I thought you were a dream come true. Like you really couldn’t be real, or even like me, but here you are."

“I don’t really plan on going anywhere,” you promised, inching that much closer, your face almost touching his, “I hope you’re not either. Because I kind of...really like you.”

“M-may I kiss you?” he brought his hand to your face while his vibranium arm settled on your waist. It was an odd tango, one he was still trying to work out to see what felt right, normal. It had been a long, long, time since he’d held someone this way. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you carded a hand through his hair, playing with a particularly wild bit at the nape. You wanted nothing more than this, than him. It was such a simple act, and yet so saccharine and intimate when it was the two of you. It was an act of trust, an act of intimacy, and so much more. 

“Please,” you beamed him before he closed the distance and kissed you. And this time, he really kissed you, like you were the only thing sustaining him, the only thing he wanted or needed - a fresh breath of life. Plush lips were delicate and soft again yours, but hungry and yearning as though nothing could ever be enough. When you chanced a breath of air, you nuzzled your nose against his and softly whispered his name, “Bucky.”

“I don’t know if I can say it yet,” he swallowed thickly as you knew immediately what he was indicating. You cupped his cheek before tracing over his features, “I…”

“I know,” you promised as you met his eyes. They were so soft and gentle; this was perhaps the most relaxed you’d seen him. At your words he seemed to melt into your touch as a soft sigh escaped him, “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m all in.”

“Me too,” he promised, “me too.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

I have two suggestions for the Gray Ghost AU.

1: Wes Weston is no longer under suspicion of being a Ghost. Now, he is under suspicion of being the Phantom Hunter. He is athletic, fits the build, is on record as saying he wants to fight Ghosts, and has access to the tech (just BS a connection to the GiW or Axiom). The difference this makes in his regular life is mostly null... except for the fact that Ghosts now keep targeting him for retribution attacks. Danny goes out of his way to obscure his identity from everyone, meaning Wes is seen as them catching Phantom Hunter off guard. I imagine him trying to pin it on Danny but because he so clearly disdains his parent's work, literally no one believes him.

2: The idea of Danny getting his hands on an Ectoplasm enhanced suit like the Technus upgrade Val got to her suit, most likely given by Maddie as a way to bond with Danny (and further prep him for a transformation into a Halfa). Except given his preexisting contamination (his mum is half Ghost) and Maddie messing with the suit, he ends up with the suit now fusing to him more thoroughly. After reading too many Iron Man comics, I picture something like his Bleeding Edge armour. It is basically stored mostly in his body, and he can augment it with extra technology. This would probably be a win scenario for Maddie because this puts Danny even further into Halfa territory. This also makes things more tragic with Val. Because not only has Maddie betrayed Danny to experiment on him, but because it means Val failed to stop this happening to someone she cares about. Also, this opens up a new opportunity for one of the Clones: one who is now a more pronounced cyborg made with a prototype of the suit Maddie gave to Danny, maybe he looks like the Terminator or something. For extra irony, he's the nicest one and likes gardening or something. I know this can be taken further, but I'm not able to focus on it more due to exhaustion.

Also, your idea is great, and thank you for sharing it with us and letting us all throw our suggestions at you. Thanks for all the good content.

no thank you! this stuff is always way more fun and interesting when it's collaborated! most of these ideas wouldn't exist without other people's suggestions, even the initial prompt! ✨

also @everystarstorm this will answer your ask too ~ y'all sharing a braincell today haha

1. omg yes YES yes this is perfect absolutely 100%

Wes just cannot catch a break in ANY universe (the concept of Walter Weston working for Vlad has been a Thing so we can keep that around here since Vlad works at Axion and that can be the connection, maybe Walter is just the paperwork guy or the company's legal attorney)

I also had a suggestion from @burns-art-account that Valerie gets her own version of a Wes, but like since the name Wes initially came from a joke about Sam's name being misread upside down, we could do the same with one of Val's friends, like Star could be Jets or Jeqs, or something like that

although I think this person would be less open and vocal about Valerie since her popularity would make it impossible to point a finger at without being laughed at by the whole school (I mean just look at Wes, his target is just some nerdy kid and he's still a laughingstock), so this character could be a little more subtle in trying to get evidence to out Val, it would make a pretty funny running gag if every time she got a chance to photograph Val transforming or capture some kind of evidence, something always gets in the way at the last moment, like a bird flying in front of the camera or something

2. I want to keep Danny getting the suit from Technus because I'd want this universe's version of that episode to still happen because it was a great episode between these two and it could still work with the switch around

but Maddie really would have to change course with her portal plan because this whole thing could actually make that more difficult for Maddie, all of her calculations weren't made with a highly ecto-contaminated person in mind, this would mean she would have to readjust the portal's design between Danny and the rest of her family, or actually just throw that plan away in favour of working with this new angle

she could realise that her kids HAVE picked up some traits from her because yeah a normal human shouldn't be able to do that to ghost tech

the idea that Maddie does add to his arsenal is good, once she figures out that any tech he uses gets absorbed into his suit she starts making more weaponry that's super compatible with him, possibly even making stuff that will purposely contaminate him further to bring him closer to being like a halfa (this would be a pretty huge step in Maddie's villain development because now she's resorted to experimenting on her own son, she's losing sight of why she's doing all this in the first place) it would be really cool to see Maddie gradually losing her maternal motherly nature to the cold calculating scientist

like her warmth used to feel at least somewhat genuine deep down but now it just feels like a part she's playing, slimy and sinister, she was always manipulative but she had a real genuine care for her family underneath, she thought she was doing the right thing, but that love and care is slipping away into just doing whatever it takes to get what she wants, to complete her experiment

also I was thinking about the cloning ep being set kinda earlier in this universe, so that would have happened pre-upgrade, but the idea of there being a cyborg clone made later is super cool, and then we could get a clone centric episode where the other clones try to convince this newer more dangerous clone to join their family, and yes him becoming the sweetest, nicest clone is *mwah* perfection

that ep could pave the way and maybe even foreshadow Maddie's eventual experimentations on Danny himself

and the repercussions on Val oooooof, she would feel so guilty, she would feel so much like she let him down and she couldn't save him from becoming something he never wanted to be and now it's getting to a point where it'll be too late for him to get back to normal

and since we've established in a previous post that Vlad knows about Danny, he could even play as Danny's one guiding light, warning him that if he keeps doing this he won't be able to turn back, and his interactions with Danny could give us some insight to what's going on in Danny's head, he's trying so hard to point Danny away from all this while his own mother is more subtly encouraging him and pushing him in the other direction, like a shoulder angel/shoulder devil kinda thing

these are some great ideas thank you for sharing! ❤️❤️

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 150

I think for the time being, I am going to quit calling myself ‘late’ posting as long as I get the chapter up on the right day of the week *facepalm*.  Bc I am barely keeping ahead, much less remembering to queue things up.

I am so, so sorry about that....

Fair warning before anyone @s me: The French is a joke, so if I got it super wrong I am equally sorry to the degree of which it’s wrong.

Unless it’s obscene. Then I want to know so that I can laugh with you, and I am LEAVING IT.

As always, shouts out to @baelpenrose, @the-raven-fae, and @charlylimph-blog!

Heaving an enormous Dutch oven onto a burner, I turned on the heat low and started chopping vegetables. After the first celery stalk, I glanced up at Derek, who sat across from Maverick in our living room.  The quarters were shaped differently, which had distressed Derek initially, but the addition of his favorite blankets to the sofa had helped.  Currently, he was completely distracted from even Mac: staring off into space, his fingers flying and flicking with a feverish, almost convulsive movement.

Maverick glanced up at me with a smile before following my gaze. “Yep, the cyber siege continues.  He’s doing well, from what Zach told me.”

“I thought he was only supposed to attack human-managed systems,” I grumbled, thinking back to the cold shower I had been subjected to that morning. Turning back to the vegetables, I made short work of the celery before taking my frustration out on the carrots. Scooping the diced vegetables into a bowl, I started measuring out paprika, sugar, salt, pepper, basil, and oregano into another bowl.  “Where’s Sam, by the way?”

“On the way,” Maverick promised. “With Terran-style tomatoes, he swears.  And Derek is only attacking systems we manage.  When BioLab 2 was set up, we had to take over water management, to protect the lab from any sort of contamination.”

The knife in my hand, brandished at three cloves of garlic, clattered to the work surface. “Seriously?” I glared at the tap, suddenly suspicious.

“Probably get water from the console,” he winced, nodding briskly at Derek, who nodded in confirmation without stopping his tapping and flicking gestures.

Groaning, I shook my head and crushed the garlic, removed the skin, and started mincing. All that was left was to wait on the tomatoes from Sam.  The garlic was potent enough, and I wanted to avoid cutting any onion until absolutely necessary since Derek was clearly parked for the duration.

I was saved about fifteen minutes later when Conor and Sam stopped at the door.  Sam waved cheerfully and held up the requested vegetables while Conor removed his boots. A quick shuffle later for Sam to remove his own shoes, and both came to the food prep area - too small to be considered a proper kitchen - to greet me. 

First, Conor gave me a big, smelly hug and a kiss on my hair. “Did you already slice the bread?”

“Ew, you gorilla!” I laughed. “And I haven’t sliced any bread yet, I wasn’t sure how long I had and I didn’t want it to get too stale.”

“They’re toasties, love.” He shook his head with a grin before swatting me on the butt. “No one cares if the bread was a bit stale before you started.”

Over his shoulder, Derek’s head bobbed side to side. “I think someone disagrees.” I looked meaningfully past him.  To Conor’s credit, he looked sheepish.

Sam squeezed around and handed me the tomatoes and gave me a hug. “Thank you for making soup.”

“I know it’s our favorite,” I winked before shooing him out of the area. “Not enough room for more than one in the kitchen. Y’all go unwind out there, and make sure you warn Derek that I’m about to start cutting onions.”

As he held up his hands and jokingly scurried away, I turned to the stove and started cursing myself. I’d forgotten to start boiling water. Snagging a small saucepan, I got a carafe of water from the console and started rectifying that, tossing in a generous pinch of salt.  Gently, I cut an X into the bottom of each tomato and set them aside before peeling and dicing the onion.  Immediately, the onion, carrots, and celery went into a food processor.  “Derek, I’m about to be loud,” I called softly before counting to ten to give him time to cover his ears or step into the corridor.  A quick blitz later, the vegetables were perfectly between a mince and a puree.

A quick swizzle of oil went into the already-hot dutch oven before adding the mirepoix and giving it a quick stir. As if on cue, Tyche and Antoine breezed through the door, noses twitching.

“I smell food,” she announced, stalking into the kitchen.  One look at the ingredients was all it took. “Ooooo you’re making the tomato soup.”

I couldn’t help laughing. “I am, and you know I don’t have room in here for spectators, unfortunately.” Arching an eyebrow, I pointed the spoon in my hand at the table.

She wasn’t having it. “One of these days, you’re going to show me how to make that. May as well be today.”

“Nice try, but I need some secrets. Besides, the longer I argue with you, the more likely the vegetables are going to scorch. Scoot!”

She scrunched her face at me but acquiesced. As I scooped the garlic into the pot, I heard her change topics. “How much longer is the stress test? My music keeps getting mixed up with Antoine’s. I don’t mind it, but…”

Antoine smiled softly and shook his head. “But it is quite a shock to expect classical music and instead her rock starts playing.”

Personally, I liked both, but still shuddered at what he was talking about. Carefully lowering three of the tomatoes into the now-boiling water, I glanced at the sauteing vegetables and gave them a quick stir to check. “We have about six more days before the repairs start, maybe four more after that?”

Conor sighed. “I wish we could ask if anything important was being hacked, not just annoying environmental controls.”

“Plants aren’t dead yet,” Sam pointed out, tipping his bottle of water toward Conor in a practiced gesture.  Everyone laughed when, rather than being reassured, Conor leapt to his feet to check on his ‘babies’ in the room.

Cursing, I dipped the tomatoes out of the boiling water and dropped them immediately into an ice bath.  A couple pokes with my trusty spoon showed they weren’t overcooked, thankfully. “None of my information for work has been acting up,” I admitted as I started peeling them. “But Pranav advised that more critical data would either go completely missing or not show any signs of infiltration.  We won’t know until after the test is over.”

“Lovely,” Tyche drawled as she watched Conor fretting over the plants. “So it’s all or nothing.”

I shrugged and dumped the tomato paste - admittedly, from the console - into the pan of other vegetables.  When I stirred, I was satisfied that the carrots, onion, and celery had cooked down to where they were soft. “In a weird way, it makes sense. They’re testing for catastrophic data breaches, which would pull everything down, or for data theft, which you wouldn’t want to leave traces of.”

The corner of Antoine’s mouth quirked up as I dropped three more tomatoes into the pan of boiling water. “No hidden boba tea this time, that is reassuring.”

Hands still moving without hesitation, Derek whipped his head toward Antoine, paused, and turned back to where he had been staring. Derek’s version of a glare.

“That was Charly,” I responded in unexpected unison with Maverick and Conor.  I smirked while dumping the already-peeled tomatoes into the processor with another pinch of salt. “Seriously, Derek had nothing to do with that other than divine retribution.” I paused for a moment. “Although I do have to admit that the cold showers do seem to track with what Charly reported.”

That only got a shrug from Derek, which was as good as an admission.

The conversation shifted again - something Conor and Sam were working on in the aeroponics labs that I had already heard multiple details on, plus repetition.  Tuning it out, I pulled out the last three tomatoes, dropped them in the ice bath, and took a platter with a loaf of bread, sliced cheese, and butter out to the table. “Mav, can you start setting up the sandwiches?”

He went to stand, but Tyche shooed him back down. “I got it. She may not let me help make the soup on this one, but I can prep a grilled cheese with the best.” Staring me in the eye, she started cutting slices from the loaf defiantly.

I just laughed it off. This was the only tomato soup either of us liked, and she had been chasing me for the recipe for ages.  It had become a running joke at this point, so without hesitation, I moved back to the food prep area, peeled the remaining tomatoes, and gave another warning that I was going to be loud.  Some more blitzing later, the now-pureed tomatoes went into the pan of veggies along with the spices I had already measured out, the juice from one lemon, and enough water to fill the pan three-quarters full.  Leaving that to boil, I moved the boiling water off the stove and swapped it for a grill-pan.

“Sophie!” Conor cried from the armchair where he perched. “You’ve seen the plants we’re growing in the lab! Tell them we’ve managed a crop of roots!”

I winced. “Jury’s out… I’m not sure how aeroponic potatoes are going to turn out, but I can confirm they are in the process of finding out?”

Tyche’s knife fell to the table, and she moved her mouth silently in a very accurate imitation of a fish before managing to sputter. “Air-grown… potatoes?”

The confusion on Antoine’s face was painful to look at. He started to speak before stopping himself and instead pulling up his datapad, jotting a message, and flicking it out to the room.

When I read the message, the confusion was so clear that I hurt my sinuses snorting. Des pomme de terre en l’air? Pommes aeriennes? Talk about being lost in translation…. “Conor, Sam… I think Antoine has the perfect name for those if they work out. Just sayin’”

Tyche snorted and shook her head before handing me the platter, with a stack of perfectly buttered bread, two slices of cheese between every other slice of bread.  The soup had just come to a simmer, so I was stirring intently and just nodded for her to start grilling sandwiches.  Several appreciative sniffs and twenty minutes later, six bowls of soup and six matching sandwiches - three cut vertically and three cut diagonally, because it mattered and was not a battle I was willing to fight - hit the table.  Tyche politely placed the salt cellar and a pepper grinder on the table, although the glare she dished out to the collected group promised strong retaliation to anyone who touched them.

I held up half of my grilled cheese in a mock-toast. “To soup night!”

“To air potato soup, soon!” Maverick offered up with a grin, only for everyone to echo his sentiment with the exception of Derek - who just held up half of his sandwich with one hand and tapped away with the other, not even relenting to eat.

Frankly, as long as he spared a hand to eat, I couldn’t bring myself to care.  He took these tests very seriously, and generally only stopped when he was completely asleep.

Everyone dug in, but it was only after my first spoonful that I spoke up. “Considering how long it took to make sure the tomatoes wouldn’t be poisonous, I’m not sure the potatoes will be ready before we get to Von.”

Conor and Sam nodded, as did Tyche and Antoine, but Maverick stopped with his bowl halfway to his mouth.  Setting it down gently, he angled his head. “What do you mean, poisonous?”

“They’re nightshades,” Conor told him, as calmly as if he was telling us that water was wet. “Tomatoes are the only edible berries of that family, and potatoes are the only edible tubers, so we have to be extra careful.”

Maverick’s eyes grew wide and turned toward his soup. Tyche just reached out and patted his hand. “You’ve eaten this soup for years, and you love tomatoes. They’re safe, I swear.  And Sam won’t let Sophia near the new ones until he’s completely sure they’ll be okay to eat.”

Sam nodded, shoving a soup-covered wedge into his mouth. “We’re growing them in simulated Von-light, hoping that keeps the roots from creating chlorophyll.  If we’re wrong, there’s a forty-three-point-six percent chance they won’t grow at all, ten-point-five percent chance they will give you a stomach ache, eighteen-point-four percent they won’t taste good, and twenty-seven-point-five percent they will taste good and be safe to eat at the same time.”

“Meaning they won’t kill you, you might get a tummy ache, but most likely for this generation, they just won’t grow,” Conor translated.

“Hang on,” I held up my spoon. “What kind of stomachache are we talking here?”

The mad botanists looked at each other and made a few thoughtful faces. Finally, Conor nodded and Sam spoke. “Unripe apples,” he stated flatly. “But just unripe apples.”

“Oh, that’s not too bad,” I shrugged and crunched into my sandwich.

Derek finished his half-sandwich and blindly reached for another. He had it halfway to his mouth before he looked at it and dropped it back to the plate in alarm. You would have thought it tried to bite him rather than vice versa.

Antoine shook his head and reached past the vertically cut sandwich Derek had dropped and delicately handed him a diagonally cut one. “Here you go, friend.”

Glaring at the sandwich like it may betray him, he bit it viciously before going back to the screen he could only see in his mind, seemingly satisfied that the sandwich would not change into the offending shape.

I told you, it matters.

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[icyymocha]

Acts of Kindness

Warnings: Fluff, angst, Bucky loathing, insecurities

word count: 2,285 

Summary: From the beginning you both started dating, he was never one for showing affections, always opting to hold your hand; the bare minimum of showing any love to you physically. Bucky would show you his undying love for you through small acts of kindness and services. Throughout his life, the super-soldier was taught to be a gentleman. Always paying attention to his loved ones before he puts himself and his needs first. He’s always the believer who thought, ‘actions speak louder than words,’ kind of guy.

Bucky was disoriented and bitter. He was emotionless but it never meant he never had his moments of vulnerability. When Bucky was brought back from the blip and experienced his best friend leaving him with Sam and getting the worst therapist, he was so, so, so tired. He disconnected everyone—even his other best friend, Sam Wilson. Having a bloodbath of a past, he couldn’t stand being in a room with people, fearing he would hurt them again. He wasn’t himself. That was until he met you. You were kind and understanding. Unlike everyone, you weren’t walking on eggshells whenever it’s about him. You always showed him that you only saw him as a person instead of a monster. Bucky feels a warm feeling whenever he’s around you, yet he’s always stifling himself whenever you show small gestures of kindness that make his knees go weak.

Bucky thought he was showing how he felt around you and others (even if all he does is grunt and stiffen or stare when people are around). It wasn’t always like that it was the opposite for you. You thought he hated your presence, always noticing how he stiffens like a wooden board. So you started to distance yourself. Only believing he hates you and noting how he doesn’t like what you do. Oh, If only you knew. The first few weeks when you weren’t doing your usual morning routines (he’s not a stalker, he’s an observant person, guys) Bucky was confused and frowned. He didn’t push it and nevertheless continued on his day—ignoring the yearning feeling for you. Then, another few weeks came by, and then a month and, so on. Bucky was frustrated. Why were you ignoring him? Did he do something wrong? Did you finally see the monster he truly was from the inside? No….

He shook the thought away. He couldn’t have you be afraid of him now, not now, not after when it’s your fault for giving him these strange feelings. Sam pointed out he had a crush on you, but he was a stubborn bull and bluntly said “it’ll go away.” Wrong. He was so wrong.

So, after weeks of planning, Bucky decided to show his first act of kindness towards you. He prepped himself to have a bit of confidence in the mirror, having Sam forcing telling him to ‘man up’ By the time it was time to go and meet you (Sam setting the both of you up), Bucky protested and complained. Knowing how much of an asshole he was and how he took your kindness for granted. At this point, Sam was annoyed and being the best wingman he is (no pun intended), shoved him out of his apartment and dragged his ass to the place where you both met. The park. It was simple yet cliché. But Bucky, he was more than glad he had met you—by err running into you and knocking you off the ground by accident. He profusely apologized yet you laughed it off as if it was nothing. Months after the blip, he thought no one would recognize him, but he was wrong. He simply forgot you used to work for Shield and was there during the fight against Thanos. How could he have ever forgotten about you? You were there, since day one during the civil war, had he not realized about your presence? Either way, he was ecstatic.

Seeing you there all dolled up, Bucky hesitated. Sam huffed and shoved him a bit further more into your direction; Bucky glared at him. Nervous was an understatement. But Bucky was more than nervous. Every bundle of nerves in his body wanted him to run away but his heart told him to express his feelings towards you. Clearing his throat, you turned around and was surprised to see him there. Not like you were complaining. Bucky was wearing his usual black clothing but he always looked handsome.

“I didn’t think to see you here Buck,” you said, surprise written all over your face

“Well me either” Bucky said bluntly

Stupid, stupid, stupid—he heard Sam say in his comm.

“I—uh, I mean, Sam forced me to meet you” Bucky coughed awkwardly

You raised an eyebrow, your lips quirking upwards. His com is full of Sam’s ridiculous laughter and annoying remarks. He is so going to kill Sam.

“Well that’s unfortunate, too bad Sam’s missing out the fun,” you joked

The stiff tension in Bucky's shoulder relaxed a bit. Okay, good so far...

“Yeah, you’re right, doll”

Shifting his weight from one foot to another, Bucky looked down at the ground. Being around you was already making him shy away from but talking to you for the first time with a full conversation made his heartbeats rapidly

“Uh I got you something”

“Oh?”

Handing you a bag in your direction. Bucky waited until you looked inside. Anxiety eating him up to see how you react to his gift.

The bag in your hand felt heavy. You trusted Bucky, even more so than Sam (not like you’re ever gonna tell him that). You slowly opened the bag to see it filled with a variety of gifts. Your eyes widened.

Inside, there was a copy of your favorite mug you had broken during a food fight with Natasha. Next, were boxes of your favorite foods and chocolates. Then, a small amount of jewelry and a sweater with your favorite band. Others were some of your favorite novels. Last, was a letter? Wait, a letter from Bucky? That’s new.

You put down the gift bag and carefully opened the letter you assumed was written by Bucky.

Dear Y/n,

Uh, I don’t know where to start but nothing I do could match for all the acts of kindness you had shown me throughout the years.

I, uh, I’m sorry for all the shit you had to put up from me. I acted like an ass and I took everything for granted of your consideration for me. I never realized I hadn’t told you how I felt about you until you started to distance yourself around me. It’s not your fault, I understand.

Being known as a weapon from Hydra and a murder for killing the innocence of people, I understand if you’ve distanced yourself because of that. I never meant to scare you away. It’s quite far from that.

I always wanted to express how I felt around you. The way you gave me a warm feeling inside of me, made me feel loved and cared for. But I was never one for physical contact and I never know how to act around you nor tell you words about it. No words could ever describe what you mean to me, how much beauty you hold can have everyone look at you. If I’m being honest, you got me whipped and so is everyone else around your finger.

It was clear to me that I wasn’t always the best with people nor did I care enough to see how my actions or words could affect a person. I never realized I didn’t observe a person’s well-being enough to understand that this would create a drift between you and me. I’m sorry I never communicated with you—regardless even it’s just a quick yes or no question.

Sincerely,

James Buchanan Barnes.

It was eerily quiet. The tension between both couples was awkward. Bucky didn’t know whether to stay or leave and dig his grave six feet down in secondhand embarrassment. He quickly looked down at the ground, ashamed. He had a feeling he should’ve never written that letter to you, it was stupid and a dumb idea. Thoughts raced through his head; his fear of rejection of you leaving him. He lost so many people in his life, Bucky would’ve been devastated if you left because of him. It would be beyond the repair of what’s left of him that Bucky gave to you each day, pieces by pieces. Shallow breathes became heavier but Bucky gulped painfully, ignoring the burning feeling in his throat for a release of hot air.

What if this is the end? What if you hated him now? What if you left him because you found out who he truly was? What if you left because he never approached you as other people did? What if-

A gentle motion of a hand grazed his right bicep soothingly. He gulped even harder. This is it, Bucky tells himself. Yet no harsh words came at him nor did the mercilessness of a slap come towards him. But, two fingers grabbing a hold of his chin, forcing him to look up at the eyes that took his breath away.

“Bucky?” y/n whispered

closing his eyes, he waited for the rejection but it never came. He waited and waited. Feeling the warmth of two soft hands cradling his face, he leaned into their touch.

“This is really touching, thank you.” Y/n thanked, peppering kisses around his face. Their hands caressing his face, feeling the little stubbles underneath their fingers. Bucky’s whole body wanted to melt right then and there, already thinking how he needed their touch from now on.

Nuzzling into his neck, you murmured a sweet confession. Bucky already thought his heart had melted but no, it very much exploded—already so overwhelmed with this new profound feeling of love.

As much as Bucky savored the sweet moment with y/n, Sam had to interrupt it

“Are you lovebirds done yet?”

“I can’t stand watching an old man be all sappy,”

“Oooo Bucky's gonna get it,”

“We all know he’s gonna get laid y/n.”

Cue Sam fake gagging noises in Bucky’s com

Y/n giggled while Bucky clenched his jaw. His eyebrows furrowed and his crystal blue eyes darkened, he was ready to beat Sam’s ass for ruining the moment. You watched as Sam screamed for his life in and out of the park while a certain super soldier shouted profanities at him. It went on for a while. And during those moments, you recorded it all and saved a backup just in case to tease Sam about it. (You’ll never forget how Sam screamed like a little girl)

From the beginning you both started dating, he was never one for showing affections, always opting to hold your hand; the bare minimum of showing any love to you physically. Bucky would show you his undying love for you through small acts of kindness and services. Throughout his life, the super-soldier was taught to be a gentleman. Always paying attention to his loved ones before he puts himself and his needs first. He’s always the believer who thought, ‘actions speak louder than words,’ kind of guy.

He would always show ways of his way of saying, “I love you,” by refilling your cup in the mornings. Always made sure you were fed and hydrated throughout the day. He would ask if you need anything for personal needs, replacing your nightly skin routine when he thinks it’s almost finished. 

Whenever you have errands to run or missions to accomplish, Bucky always insisted to come with you whether you like it or not. He’s always so protective towards you and his biggest fear is ever losing you. He could never imagine hurting you or having you get hurt by something or someone without him being there to rescue you in time. A lot of insecurities were passing through his head, having that one voice in the dark corners of his mind, always wondering why? Why did you choose him? Bucky only saw his reflection nothing more but a weapon. A freak. When you found out about his insecurities, you made sure he was your first priority, always giving him extra love and attention. 

So, when weeks have passed by after that incident. Bucky found out you were a very affectionate person, more so before the two of you had gotten into a relationship. You loved feeling the arms of your lover; always feeling safe. You quickly learned that Bucky is now your personal coddler for warmth the first time he hugged you as you loved the sentiment and the thoughts of being held in a warm embrace. 

From then on, as Bucky kept pampering you, ignoring your protests and complaints, he made sure every need of yours was taken care of. Whenever Bucky feels like you are having a bad down overall, he would quietly take you to your guy’s shared bedroom and cuddle in silence, occasionally lazily tracing patterns and shapes to your back. Bucky was never the one to voice out his love, always thinking intimacy is better than a couple of futile words that cannot be compared to much love he has for you. If he wanted to, Bucky would shout out compliments and his love for you to the world yet it would never be enough. It would never be enough in his mind. You were his. And he would always make sure that his love is heard, whether he silently does so. The whole moment felt like a blur. Everything went by eerily quickly. Two years felt like two days being in a relationship together. Yet, Bucky is still the man who believes in, “Actions speak louder than words.” Nevertheless, he would never resist your charms and soft touches here and there. Those loving moments between the two of you as you cuddle in bed after a night full of passion, lazily tracing shapes and patterns on your guys' skin. Even if you had to do it in private, you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

[itskateak]

Hey! Can I req a Bucky Drable with a GN reader who wears the iconic Lirika Matoshi strawberry dress and what his reaction would be?-🧡🧡

I had to look this up because I couldn’t remember what it was and my first thought was: Oh that’s adorable! I could see one of my friends wearing that!

My second was: Why is it almost $500?? What in the world???

Anyway, adorable time!

Strawberry Shortcake (Bucky x GN!Reader)

Word Count: 887

Description: Y/N caved and bought the trendy strawberry dress to save for a picnic with Bucky. His reaction takes the cake.

Warnings: Fluff, mention of Bucky’s past and what comes with it

~~~~

The dress was smoothed out by excited hands, fingers brushing over the tulle as if it would get rid of the nonexistent wrinkles. It fit perfectly, as they'd hoped. It laid right in all the right places, accentuating exactly what they wanted. The color was perfect against their skin, the contrast nice and easy on the eyes. Sometimes designers made the colors too garish to look at, no matter how pretty the design of the garment. But this...yeah, it was perfect. 

It moved so nicely around their legs as they swayed slightly to watch how it fluttered and settled into place. The little strawberries were flickering in and out of view depending on the angle. Well, they were all over, but some hid in the fold of a skirt as it swirled. Everything was set. Shoes slipped on, hair done, face prepped in whatever terms that meant to them. The last item was important and they had saved it just to be sure that it was perfect. The rose gold necklace from their one-year anniversary. 

It wasn't anything too special or something big to write home about, but it was perfect for them. Two hearts interlocked on a simple chain. A gift from James Buchanan Barnes, the man they'd been a partner to for almost three years now. This necklace was still incredibly important to them despite the other gifts. 

That first year had been the roughest, what with Bucky learning how to live without the burden and risk of being the Winter Soldier. They had their ups and downs. Their fights and grievances. Times where Bucky would disappear and sleep on the floor of Sam's apartment for a couple of days. He'd once been found slumped against the wall outside, having forgotten where the spare key was. The nightmares were another problem, but they dealt with them as they came. 

They didn't give up. And here they were, three years later. Happy and most importantly, together. But at the exact current moment...

"Y/N! I'm home! Tony let us go early since we just came back. Let me know when you're ready to go on that picnic." Bucky called from the living room, keys jingling as he tossed them into the bowl by the door. 

"Don't you want to clean up first?" They called back, sparing another glance at their appearance in the mirror. They had to admit, they looked pretty damn cute. 

"Cleaned up at the compound. Didn't want to keep you waitin', considerin' the weather's nice. Perfect time for a picnic." 

"Okay! Just give me a second to grab a sweater." Y/N quickly grabbed the light sweater from the closet, checking to make sure it matched before leaving the bedroom. They wished for a moment that they'd set up their camera to record his reaction to the dress. It had been a trend on TikTok for a while now and they wanted to give it a shot.

Bucky was leaned against the kitchen counter, scrolling through his phone absently. At the sound of his partner's footsteps, he looked up. He paused, mouth slightly agape as he took in their appearance. A smile started to creep up, curling his lips upward. His eyes crinkled up at the corners and the blue lit up with adoration.

"Well? What do you think?" They did a spin for him, just fast enough to show the effect of the tulle skirt as it flared out.

"Babydoll, I'm...speechless," Bucky admitted, wetting his lips briefly. He kept looking them up and down, trying to figure out where to look first. "Makes a guy want to get down on one knee."

"Oh my god, Buck." They laughed, hiding their bright smile with their hand.

"I'm serious! God, you're beautiful." Bucky rounded the counter and gently took their hands. He led them into another spin, pulling them back into him, arms wrapping loosely around their waist. "Perfect day for a picnic. Perfect outfit for my baby. It's like today is s'posed to be for us."

"You're so cheesy sometimes." Y/N looped their arms around his neck, swaying slightly with him like they were dancing. It was natural with him if they were honest. Whenever they ended up in this position together, they started to slow dance. Even if there wasn't any music.

"Yeah. But you love it." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to their forehead. 

"I do." Y/N couldn't help but smile. He always had that effect on them. 

"Y'know...I think there's a new nickname somewhere here that I can find." Bucky teased, arching an eyebrow. "Hmm...strawberries...you're shorter than me. And sweet as cake."

"Oh, stop it." Y/N felt their face flush and buried into his shoulder to hide it. He chuckled and rested his chin on the top of their head. 

"You're my Strawberry Shortcake, babydoll," Bucky said, warmth and love in his voice. He'd gotten lucky to get such an understanding and caring partner. Especially with his past. "C'mon. We should go before the weather decides to suddenly change." 

Y/N pulled away and went to get the blanket ready while Bucky went to grab the basket. He sent a quick glance to his partner before swiping a small, black velvet box out of a drawer and hiding it in his pocket.

Makes a guy want to get down on one knee.

[the-obelisk]

Grief - Fae Collection

Loki x Reader

Summary: A mission gone wrong. The one where he had watched you fall at the hands of a mad man. And also, watched as you crumple in grief at the twist of fate.

“Unhand her or I will kill you myself, mortal.” Loki stepped forward in a protective stance, anger etched into his expression.

The older man looked at him, clutching you even tighter than before, taunting the trickster. “Ah, ah, ah. Don’t play fake hero with me, you—”

“What do you want from her?” Sam asked with urgency in his tone. He was unsure why he had taken you, with no attempt to engage with anyone else.

The man pressed his nose against your head, inhaling deeply. He smiled through the strands of your hair and stared at the two men before him sadistically, “She is my safety ticket out.”

 He smirked. “And by the looks of it, his weakness.” He gestured to Loki.

Sam looked at him with determination, “You know you won’t make it out of here alive. Let her go.”

“But you won’t shoot me if she is my living shield, now would you?” He taunted Sam.

The raven-haired 50-year old scientist looked at you as you felt something sharp press against your back, “Now tell me, agent, what is that little light trick of yours?”

And in that moment all three of you had realized, the mission now posed a real problem.

And you were at the center of it.

The mission was simple: Full team onboard. Part of the team moved to search and secure the civilians, the others were tasked to take out the target.

And there you all were.

One hundred miles from the Avengers compound, it was suspected that Dr. William Endo was kidnapping recent runaways and outcasts from nearby small towns to experiment on.

Tony was sure it would be a day long mission. In and out, until it wasn’t.

Sick of the world over run by super-powered individuals, Endo wanted to harness and transfer those powers into what he deemed his own subservient human army that were effectively trained to combat any threat through one of Hydra’s old brainwashing techniques.

This time all super-powered.

And his end goal: To sell the individuals to highly volatile regimes and dealers on the black market.

Endo had seemed to have his contingency plan all in place. One wrong move and the shout of a code word, the entire compound could be effectively blown up from the bottom up.

Wanda, Natasha, Rhodey, Bucky, and Clint were moving in to secure those in the compound— the issue was that they were underground and the people held against their will were scattered, most likely still being experimented on.

Steve spoke over the comms, “Team Two, heat signatures in the left wing, second level. Thor, back up is needed in the courtyard.”

The team quickly moved. Meanwhile, you, Loki, and Sam had cornered the mastermind in the courtyard.

“Diversion.”

Sam projected his thought to you, and in that instant, you made a fast move to turn around and face Endo. You had planned to blast him with your light, but on the defense, he moved in retaliation.

Taking the blade he held against your back, the man pushed it through your upper abdomen as you conjured your light.

Sam took the shot and Loki ran to catch you before you fell.

Rushing beside you, Sam noticed the pained, hurried look on Loki’s face as he pulled the blade out. His eyes had widened at the sight of the blade itself.

“Brother.” Thor called as he landed on his feet opposite to the two men.

Loki looked up at him in fear, an expression Sam had never seen. “What’s happening? Why aren’t you healing her?”

Moving his eyes to the blade in Loki’s hand, Thor spoke “He cannot heal her.”

“What? He’s healed the others before!” Sam looked at him with confusion and anger.

You were already falling limp and there wasn’t a way to get you to a medic soon enough.

“It is bronze. Deadly to the Fae. No magic can heal the wound.”

Sam shook his head calling all to the courtyard. “Man down in the courtyard!”

Confirmations swarmed in at the other members running towards the location.

Loki held your form, tears forming as he called for you to stay awake. “Stay with me, little one. Do not leave me so soon.”

You looked up at him noting his quivering voice. He wasn’t angry or hurt, but defeated. The idea of you soon slipping from him before he could ever experience all the joys you could possibly bring to him had broken him.

He was reminded of Frigga and her death. Two women that had always seen past the monster and into the soul of a tortured man, now leaving him.

Thor stared in fear. He was her protector, how could he had let this happen. The blonde-man stared helplessly. He couldn’t help you or heal you.

All he could do was simply watch as you began to fade and Loki’s heart breaking in front of him.

“I am not her.” You spoke softly. The three looked at you as your form slowly changed to into a man that would stand a foot taller than you.

Thor’s eyes widened at the sight of the 30-year old mocha skinned man, and kneeled down. “Lord Ambrose.”

Loki looked at Thor in shock. This was the man that had swore Thor in as Y/N protector. “She is safe.”

Sam stared in utter shock. Completely unaware that the man had used a glamour to mirror a version that looked exactly like you.

And then you had entered the courtyard alongside Natasha and Wanda in hurry.

“What can I do?” You said out of breath from running across the lot.

Only you and Loki had the power to heal, however, yours were more helpful with deeper wounds while Loki had limitations to his healing properties.

It had taken practice, but Loki offered some of Frigga’s old journals. It was a natural talent you had seemed to possess.

Loki looked up at you with tears, “Y/N?”

He was sure he had lost you and yet, you stood with your gloves off and ready to heal whoever needed it.

“Holy shit.” Sam mumbled as he stood up to look at you in utter shock. But you were confused at his reaction to you.

Noting the bottom half of a man with Loki blocking the first half from view, you inhaled.

You move to come closer but Thor stopped you, “It was Ambrose.”

The mention of your guardian shocked you. You were now truly confused at why Ambrose would be there, in the compound, especially in this moment. However, you felt the instinctual connection between you two dwindling. And then it had struck you— he was fading.

“He glamoured himself as you to protect you.” Thor offered a further explanation. You looked at him with an expression he couldn’t interpret entirely. He then moved aside revealing Ambrose’s barely breathing form. Loki kneeled next his form with an haunted look on his face. Once again, Thor spoke— this time in a quiet voice. “You must say your goodbyes, Y/N.”

You dashed over in a hurry looking to Loki who only shook his head. He offered only one word confirming why Ambrose could not be saved, “Bronze.”

Looking back down at your guardian, you placed your hand over his gash, “It is okay, father. Accept my life force.”

Life force. It was the one thing that could save any soul. Transferring your life into the body of another was no light feat. The giver would perish, and the recipient would live.

Loki looked at you with fear in his eyes. You were unharmed and yet here you were ready to die for the second time— but this time, it would be real.

Rarely had others of your kind offered theirs unless it was moments of pure desperation as it signed their death warrant, but this was Ambrose. And to you, his life had much more meaning than your own.

It was the ultimate sacrifice.

He was the leader of your realm, your guardian, your father, brother, friend, and closest companion. You now understood why he feared allowing you to make a life on Midgard instead of remaining on your plane.

“N-no... you are destined for much more. It is time for me to join the others in the Summerland.” He spoke quietly.

His skin began to desecrate, leaving you to shake your head. “Please, don’t leave me. I never should have left your side. I was wrong— I was selfish. Our people will have no one to turn to.”

“But they will. Anders has been prepped to lead one day. It is his time.” You cried at the sound of your brother stepping up to the plate, it was a role he never truly wanted. “Send him my wishes. Tell him, he has come of age.”

“Oh, Ambrose.” You barely choked out.

This was the man who had taken you and your brother in after fleeing from war on your realm. Anders held you in his arms at age seven, scared with his newborn sister in his hands when he appeared on the plane you would call home for hundreds of years. Your brother, still young, never knew of your origins and with his memory erased, he would never know. But Ambrose— as elusive as he was— was all knowing and had taken you both in.

He spoke even softer, “You protect this world as Anders protects our realm. Your mother would be very proud.”

“My mother?”

“I see her. She is quite beautiful...”

Closing his eyes, he smiled softly. “Aelsa, take me home.” Loki looked at Ambrose in surprise of the name he mentioned. He knew exactly who he had referred to. He looked at Thor, who had his eyebrows furrowed. Both drawing the connection of your origin.

For you, he name rang of familiarity but you were too consumed by the soft shimmer that surrounded Ambrose’s form. He was leaving and you could do nothing to stop him.

And within mere seconds all you held was the dust of his now death. Fairy dust, often claimed by folklore. The magical finality of all deceased Fae.

The world had seemed to go quiet around you. And all you could think of was all the loss you had faced, even before your arrival to the place you would call home above Midgard.

And your guardian, your only true parent in your life, vanished.

“Dove?”

You looked to Loki who seemed to be filled with utter concerned as he pulled you in noting the tears in your eyes. You clutched to him tightly, while a vicious sob erupted from your lips.

“I- I can’t. It’s my fault—”

His hand rested on the back of your head while you cried. Loki was thankful that you were unharmed. The thought of losing you was a reality he could not bare to imagine, but the sight of your heartbreak pained him so.

He could feel the deep sorrow and pain roll off of you. And in your mind, you were consumed with a plethora of thoughts. Ones of grief, of guilt, failure, anger, and confusion.

Loki only held you tighter as your hands gripped his shirt. He sent you emotions of love and comfort but your walls propelled them away.

“I did this.” You cried out. He held you tighter and kissed your head, “My little dove,” he cooed to you.

He had no way of knowing what to say. In truth, no one knew what to do. What can one say to someone who had watched their loved one die so instantly, so unexpectedly?

Thor ushered Natasha, Wanda, and Sam away instructing them to proceed with the rest of the mission of bringing the victims home.

Sam followed the two women out of the courtyard, informing Steve and Tony what had occurred. Thor would most likely fill them in when he returned.

Turning back to Loki, he nodded and walked away. He knew the last thing you would want were minds buzzing all around you, and so he parted.

Leaving you and Loki to the silence around you.

[ckneal]

About a month ago, I had a fairly random revelation that Lilith was to Lucifer what Adam was to Michael. Not in the sense that she was ever his vessel, as all humans capable of serving that role are purportedly descended from Adam and Eve, and, while it’s never specifically confirmed to be true for the Supernatural universe, most lore surrounding Lilith sets her up as being too old for that.

And I also don’t necessarily mean that Lucifer and Lilith were in love—Lucifer is too egotistical and arrogant for me, personally, to believe he’s capable of a true romantic bond, and it is twice stated that he lost his virginity to Kelly Kline, in settings that leant themselves toward his credibility on this subject (musing aloud to an uncomprehending Kelly in the privacy of their bedroom, and awkwardly grappling for something to say in his first unplanned meeting with Jack, respectively)—leading me to believe that the recognizable sleazy substitute for love (lust) was not present between these two either. But, I do think that there was a connection there, and I do find myself curious about it.

After all, Lilith was willing to die to set Lucifer free from the cage. And yes, I am aware that she had made a deal with Michael to help set off the apocalypse, and she was obligated to carry out her part, but has anyone ever wondered what exactly Lilith got out of the bargain? She’s not exactly written like Eve, from season 6. She is not mothering toward demonkind. I can’t see her sharing Michael’s motivation to bring God back. The one who stood to benefit from her sacrifice, was, in fact, Lucifer. (And Michael, obviously.)

I think that the bond Lilith and Lucifer formed was a bit similar to what Adam and Michael had, in that it came from a lack of choice. I firmly believe that Lilith and Lucifer spent a decent amount of time together in Hell, just the two of them. Likely for a much longer period of time than Michael and Adam did in the cage. We don’t know exactly when Lucifer made Lilith, but we do know that he was out and moving around for awhile after the apple incident that Gadreel was incarcerated for—after all, Cain was a grown man when he caught Lucifer circling Abel and agreed to take the Mark. And bible ages are a little strange, but let’s say that that’s a good couple of decades in earth time. That’s much longer in Hell. Assuming that Lilith was turned prior to Cain, that’s a long time with Lucifer and Lilith being the only two occupants of Hell. (Well, except for Ramsey and her hellpuppies; remember she was pregnant when Lucifer saved her from extinction.)

And I wonder if in that time, the two of them could have developed a begrudging sort of friendship? Just from the forced proximity—Michael was clearly capable of decimating Lilith on sight if she went back to earth, and there weren’t exactly a lot of humans wondering around that early on in the species to provide her with cover—not to mention a meatsuit. She was pretty much stuck there, while Lucifer was presumably laying low, while he got his schemes together. Setting up the horsemen, binding Death, somehow getting and hiding the demon tablet, creating the Princes of Hell, and such. . .Just a lot of stuff, and where he used to have a vast multitude of siblings to talk to, he now just had this snarky little corrupted human soul, and I think—I think—they became friends.

And Lucifer considers this to be the filthiest thing that he’s ever done—on par with the most torrid, disgusting affair that anyone has ever had, and he still hates everything about it to this day. That’s why Lucifer never once talks about Lilith. He is nauseated by the fact that they were the original frenemies, completely disgusted and powerless to resist their intense conversational chemistry, and if they saw each other tomorrow there’s a tiny part of him that will still light up because no one has ever been more thoroughly on his level.

And it’s fucking mutual. If they saw each other tomorrow, they would exchange the most vehement of insults, maybe even physically attack one another, shouting their hatred at full volume—and then a few hours later be spotted at a coffee shop, passionately talking trash on Sam Winchester, and set terrible, terrible plans in motion that will plague Sammy’s life for the next several years. When they part ways, they would both feel intensely dirty, telling themselves that this will never happen again—but Lucifer has never been one to resist temptation, and at 3am finds himself sending that text message he knows he’ll regret later. . . “So what are your thoughts on Dean? ;)” And off they go again, all night long.

And that’s why Lilith was willing to lay down her life to set Lucifer free. And it’s also why she had her moment of doubt, when she nearly got Sam to agree to that demon deal. She had a moment of realizing that she was about to die for an asshole she doesn’t even like.

I personally like to think that Michael was the archangel who nearly came blasting in to defend Chuck that night, when Dean pulled the plug on the deal Sam was about to make (and before you try to tell me that wasn’t a real deal because Lilith was planning a trap—rewatch that scene, Sam was the one who played dirty by reaching for the demon-killing knife; Lilith was busy eyeing his crotch through his jeans and feeling up his chest). After Lilith smoked out of her meatsuit, I like to think that Michael followed her and gave a kind of prep talk, telling her that it’s important that they remember their motivations, shameful though they might be

At which point, Lilith just bursts into tears, crying, “Oh god, you’re right. . .He’s my best friend—how did this happen? How did this—Oh god, oh god, oh god, I’m going to be sick!”

Lilith sobs into Michael’s wings, while Michael is just sort of stuck standing there, because Lilith is gripping one of his four heads with both hands as she cries, while the other three are looking around for help, intensely confused because he, of course, was talking about bringing God back, and now he has no idea what to do to get out of this uncomfortable social situation that he does not understand.

And thinking about Lucifer and Lilith and Michael and Adam as parallels, it gets me asking these questions about how things would go if the roles were reversed. Would Adam willing lay down his life to free Michael from the cage? As a fanfiction writer, I enjoy the idea of saying yes.

In fact, I’m a little enamored with the idea of a parallel world where everything is flipped. Where it’s Michael in the box, and Adam running around breaking seals, Adam on that final, fateful night—after having had his moment of doubt in which he’d lured Ramiel into a secluded spot and offered to stand down and nearly banged Ramiel’s brains out in the bargain—but that’s all past, and now he’s firm in his resolve. Adam standing in front of a mirror—but instead of the white gown that Lilith wore, Adam’s in a black suit, dressed as if it were his wedding day, though he’ll never see his groom. And Raphael appearing at his elbow, looking concerned—instead of some random follower of Lilith’s, and Adam telling Raphael to be happy. Everything is going to be okay.

And it’s Adam reclining against the alter, all serene anticipation as Ramiel—the second Prince of Hell, who rejected his place in the succession because all he wanted was to live out a quiet life with his fishing gear, well away from the Pit and the Life—comes storming into the church with Zachariah at his side, assuring Ramiel that he’s trained for this, he can do it—only to have Azazel come bursting in behind them, shouting, “NO, RAMMY! IT’S WHAT HE WANTS!”

[crimefightingspiderguy]

to be so lonely

Summary: “Hi could you do angst spider man x female reader but with fluffy ending please and thank you.” (REQUESTED BY @icequeen2021)

Warnings: Torture is mentioned and injuries do occur. Spoilers for Spider-Man: Far From Home and Avengers: Infinity War & Endgame.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word count: 4,494

A/N: Just as a precaution, I did not proofread this because its almost 4 a.m. here and I really just wanted to get this out to you guys! I hope the requester and everyone else enjoys this, I had a lot of fun writing it. I also wanted to note that this occurs post Spider-Man: Far From Home so since I don't really know who took charge of the Avengers after Tony and Steve's deaths, I just assumed it was Sam/Falcon/Captain America for the purpose of this fic. Lastly, I'm aware that mutants have yet to be introduced into the MCU, but my guess is that they are going to claim Monica (and now Wanda) from WandaVision as mutants, so I'm running with it in this fic.

“Hello?” Peter’s groggy voice came through the darkness. You stood in the doorway, light now beaming into the room, waking Peter.

“Oh, thank goodness. I had… a bad dream. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You were one of the newest Avengers and when Peter Parker’s identity was revealed to the world, Sam told you to help him go into hiding, at least until they were sure it was safe for him to stay at the Avengers compound. You were (as you put it) cursed with the ability to see the future. After Hydra had gotten found out about the time stone, they sent you in as a spy to try to find out more about it. You studied under Dr. Strange for a couple of months before he even let you see it. One night, he let you even practice with it. Unfortunately, your genes were predisposed to be mutated, all they needed was the right amount of radiation to kick start them. To touch the stone, was to mutate your genes, triggering your curse. Your new mutation was being able to see into the future. Dr. Strange ended up finding out that Hydra sent you and realizing that they would only turn you into a weapon, he helped you fake your death and sent you to the Avengers, changing your identity and living under the radar. Your mutation was the perfect thing to help Peter while on the run, since you would constantly be one step ahead of your enemies. Peter had the ability to sense danger coming his way, so he thought he would be fine on his own, but you could see farther out into the future and see multiple paths that could occur based on one small choice, so Sam wouldn’t even listen to any of Peter’s protests to having you come along. It’s not that he didn’t want you to come along, because you two were friends, but he didn’t want to put you in extra danger of being seen by Hydra or getting hurt because of him.

“A bad dream or a glimpse into the future?” Peter asked, alert now.

“A bad dream… I think. Let me look again.” You tried to focus on your current path. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. But there it was, a small branch that when followed lead to the dream you had. The only choice that had to be made was you turning on the lights to check on Peter, tipping someone watching you off that you were in fact staying here. You quickly opened your eyes and ran out to the living room. You shut off all the lights throughout the whole empty apartment you were “staying” in. You had been moving from place to place so when you found an apartment that was prepped for open house showings, the two of you decided to hang out there until you saw a showing being held and then you would tidy stuff up and ditch the place. Unfortunately, it appeared in this distant future, whoever was following the two of you got a tip that an empty apartment was all the sudden getting activity regularly.

You went back into the room Peter had taken, “Get in the closet, now.” Peter rushed out of the bed and did as he was told. You got into the closet next to him and pulled the door shut. You glimpsed into the future and quickly saw that the person was on their way, they would be there in minutes and one of the places they would in fact check was the closet. Just then, Peter’s skin lit up in goosebumps and you knew it was too late to move him.

“Can you tell who…” Peter began to whisper, but you quickly put a hand over his mouth, seeing they were about to walk into the front door. Luckily, you had locked it, so they would have to take a minute to pick the lock, so they don’t draw suspicion with a loud bang of breaking the door down.

“I’m going to do something; you have to just trust me. Whatever happens, whatever you hear me say, don’t leave the closet. You understand?” you spoke out low and fast.

“But…”

“Do you understand?” You looked him dead in the eyes, time was ticking.

He nodded. You grabbed one of his extra web shooters from his bag in on the closet floor. You slowly pulled the closet door open and shut behind you, taking one more look at Peter, putting your finger over your mouth as a reminder for him to stay silent. You moved over to the bed Peter was moments ago sleeping soundly on, leaned over to the window above it and opened it wide. You stood on the bed, positioning your body to make it look like you were trying to escape out the window. You stood in your position and waited, silently shooting a web out the window to the building across the street and tossed the shooter underneath the bed. You heard the door finally unlock and slowly creak open. They were most likely assuming the two of you were asleep and had no inclination he was there. After seeing no signs of life in the living room, he began heading for the bathroom. Looking into the future to see if your plan would work, you saw a small issue. If he took his time searching through each room, Peter would eventually sneeze and expose himself. You needed to get the guy out of there now. You looked over to the lamp on the side table on the right of the bed. You kicked it as hard as you could, causing the bulb to shatter on the hard-wood floor as it landed. You cussed in a loud enough to hear whisper and positioned yourself back half-way out the window. The man was now bursting through the bedroom door, first looking to the lamp that caused the sound, then to the person who was clearly trying to escape him.

“Shit Peter, go, go, go! Get out of here!” You shout out to a non-existent Peter outside of the building. “I’ll be fine, go now!” You put on the most panicked look you could while you whipped your head back to the man who was just now putting two and two together. He ran over to the window, yanked you off the ledge and looked outside. He saw the web hanging from the other building across the street, blowing silently in the wind, the web-shooter himself nowhere to be seen. The man’s grip on your arms painfully increased, making it easy for you to keep the pain-filled, scared look on your face.

“That was a very stupid move missy. I’m sure if you’re important enough for him to take on the run, he won’t be leaving you behind for long.” He turned out the window and yelled, “You hear that Spidey? You want the girl, you’ve gotta come and get her.” While his head was turned from you, you looked into the closet just barely able to see Peter’s eyes from the moonlight shining in and across the shutters of the closet. You shook your head slightly as you saw in the near future Peter putting his hand on the door and opening it to come save you.

“He’s not coming back; you might as well save your breath.” You said to the man as he brought his head back inside.

“Why wouldn’t he come back for you? Isn’t that his whole shtick? Saver of the defenseless?”

“Because I told him not to come back. I told him to not look back, so he won’t.”

“What makes you so sure he’ll do what you say?”

“Because if he truly loves me, he won’t come back.” You knew that no one knew of your relationship status with Peter, especially considering no one even knew you were an Avenger. So even though you were not dating Peter, they didn’t know otherwise, and you were going to use that to your advantage.

“Ahhh, so you’re his little girlfriend. That’s why you’re with him. We was starting to think you was an Avenger. We’ll this is even better because I’m sure some torture will get you talking. We won’t even need him to come find us, because you’ll lead us right to him.”

“I’d rather die.” You spat in his face.

“Oh, don’t worry, you will. But not until we find our spidey.” He smiled a nasty smile and yanked your arm out of the socket as if it was nothing, and you gave a choked-out scream.

He tossed you over his shoulder and walked out of the apartment. You couldn’t see into the closet anymore, but you could see into the future and Peter was in absolute shock, but he did as you asked and stayed put until the next morning, when he could be sure the apartment would no longer be watched.

At some point you had been knocked unconscious, or maybe you were drugged? It was hard to tell with the throbbing in your head making your memory foggy. You woke up to realize you were tied up to a chair, in a dark and empty room. You blinked rapidly trying to clear your hazed mind, and when it began to work, you looked into the future to see what was coming. You had three paths, all waiting on someone to make the next move. One path was the man from before coming in with a crowbar and breaking your bones with it, one by one, until you told him what he wanted, which you never did, resulting in you dying of internal bleeding. You shuddered at the thought, hoping your other paths would be better. The second was Peter tracking you down and coming to save you. This led to the death of both you and Peter. Your heart began to race, the image of Peter’s cold and unmoving body lying on the ground in an unnatural twist was harder to look at than the image of you weeping over him, only to meet the same fate. The third and final path was you getting out of the ropes and being able to fight your way out of the place. This third path had an uncertain ending, because while you would be able to get out of the chair, it wasn’t clear if you’d be able to fight off all of the people standing around outside of the room you were held in.

You quickly thought through all of the moves that Bucky had taught you from his years as a killing machine. There were a few that you could pull of successfully on Bucky himself, leaving you some hope that you would be able to fight them off, but looking at the sheer number of people outside that would run to attack, it’s hard to imagine they wouldn’t be ganging up on you causing a more powerful attack than even Bucky could prepare you for. You looked around the room for an escape, literally anything. You saw it in the corner to the left of you. The way out. You looked into the future after deciding that was how you would escape, and surprisingly the outcome was clear and successful. You quickly kicked off your shoe and rolled off your sock on the floor. Taking your now free toes, you stuck them into your shoe and slid the folded pocket knife you hid in the too big for you shoes in-between your big toe and second one. You pulled it out, holding onto it for dear life with your foot. You put your leg to the side of the chair, pulling your foot up into the air and back towards your hands as much as you could with the ropes constraining you. You were just able to grab the edge of the folded over knife and once you had a grip, flipped it open and began sawing away at the ropes. You saw that the men outside were unmoving and weren’t planning on interrogating you for at least another hour. The sun was setting, and they were hoping that Peter would show up in the dark to try and save you. When they were to realize that he in fact was not showing up, they would barge in and pounce on you. However, Peter not showing up depended on you getting out of the building. You saw that he was nearby in the future where he tried to save you. He was only going to save you if he sensed you needed to be saved. If you could get out of this room, you wouldn’t set off his Spidey-sense, and he would be safe, you would both be safe.

Once the ropes fell to the ground, you were able to cut your torso free and stand to run to the corner that held a vent big enough to crawl through. Cutting off the long sleeve of your shirt at the shoulder, you made a sloppy sling for your dislocated left arm. Crawling wouldn’t be a cake walk with only one arm, but you had to make do. You quickly screwed open the gate with your knife and silently pushed it to the ground and begun to crawl on your hand and knees through the ventilation system. You looked forward in time to see where this would lead you and how quickly. The sun was setting faster than normal it felt, as the dark approached, so did a twisted fate if you couldn’t get out fast. You had lucked out this time, and you actually couldn’t believe what you were seeing. About 10 feet ahead of you, the vent led out to the back of the building. They were keeping you in a room used to store things at cool temperatures and the air vent was used to release hot air in the summer and suck in cold air in the winter. You began crawling as fast as you could muster without making too much sound.

When at the end, you looked with your mind to see if danger lurked in the shadows outside the vent, but no one was near. The vent led to the back of the building where there were no other doors or windows, no way for Peter to get in and find you. Or so they thought. You slipped your hand through the slits in the grate to work at the screws on the outside. You could feel the cold rusty metal slicing your hand open, but you could care less right now as turning back would result in a lot worse than a few infected cuts. After about 5 minutes of awkwardly poking, prodding and twisting at the screws, you were able to kick open the grate. You slid outside and stood up, quickly making your way to the tree line. Peter was nearby, you saw his location before, but it was hard to distinguish it in the vast forest surrounding the building.

Looking around, seeing there was no one in sight you quickly let out a whisper of his name, “Peter.” You hoped it would be enough to catch his attention if he was within his hearing range. You waited a moment but saw nothing. You moved forward a few feet, hoping he was maybe just farther into the forest, “Peter.” You repeated. This time you saw something, not in real time, but seconds before it happened. Him whipping his head around, hearing your footsteps, your breathing, your heartbeat, the soft whisper of his name leaving your mouth. Him swinging tree to tree to get to you as quickly and as quietly as he could manage. As if he was delayed compared to the image in your mind, he landed softly next to you moments after you saw him do it in your mind.

“You’re okay.” He whispered, pulling you into a hug, trying to mind your slung arm.

“For now. But we’ve got to go. There is still a 50/50 chance they’re going to catch us when they realize in about 2 minutes that I’ve escaped.

“Well then you better hold on tight.” He lifted you up with ease and rested you on his hip, making you look like an awkwardly large toddler in his arms. He kept one arm around you as you wrapped your legs and good arm around him. He was off in seconds, swinging the two of you from tree to tree and once out of the forest, building to building.

Once you were at a safe enough distance, Peter stopped on an apartment rooftop and took the two of you under the cover of a tarp covering up empty wooden crates from any bad weather.

“We need to get you back to the compound. Have Bruce heal you up.” He said gingerly touching your shoulder.

“We can’t go back, you know that. We haven’t gotten word from anyone yet that the coast is clear, and it’s obvious that you’re still on plenty of people’s hit list. I can fix it, just give me a second.” You looked around the roof to see if there was anything you could jam your arm into to try and pop it back into place. Behind where you were hiding was a door leading down into the apartments. You stood up and headed over to it. Peter followed you, watching and listening to the surroundings for anything suspicious. You pulled the sling off your neck slowly and balled it up. You stuffed it in your mouth, causing Peter to give you a confused look,

“What are you doing?”

You answered him by slamming your arm into the wall, popping it back into place, letting out a now muffled scream into your shirt sleeve. Tears welled up in your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away with the cloth you pulled out of your mouth. You took a deep breath in and out, trying to calm yourself.

“There. All better.” You opened your eyes and gave Peter a weak smile as he stood, mouth open and face pale.

“Holy shit.” He whispered.

“Close your mouth honey, you’ll catch flies.” You push his bottom jaw up and head over to the edge of the rooftop. You looked down to see there was a fire escape a few feet below you. Looking ahead of your time, you saw the possibilities of entering each window attached to the escape. Only one of them would lead you to an empty apartment. The owners gone for the whole week. They will have a first aid kit waiting for you to tend to your hand with.

“Peter, can you lower us down to that escape?” You called over to him softly. He joined you at the ledge and nodded when he saw what you were referring to. You held onto his side again as he climbed with his sticky hands and feet down the wall and onto the escape. You grabbed his hand and led him down to the window of the currently empty apartment. You carefully slid the window open and snuck in, Peter silently following behind you.

“The owners won’t be back for a week. As long as we leave the place as we found it, they won’t be any the wiser that we were here.” You whispered to him as he shut the window. “I’m going to go find their first aid kit and get some antibiotics on my hand” You held out your gashed up hand to show him and you saw him wince at the sight of it. He was surprisingly sensitive to seeing your injuries. You figured at this point all of the Avengers were desensitized to stuff like this.

It was just months ago you all were fighting off the mad titan Thanos, you expected nothing to shock anyone at this point. It was strange getting blipped away. One second you were standing next to Dr. Strange watching him give over the time stone, the next you simply weren’t there. You couldn’t see it coming. This was the only thing you couldn’t see coming, because it was too random. You had too high of a chance of not getting blipped, just as you had too high of a chance of getting blipped, so you couldn’t have known. It was horrifying and the bases for most of your nightmares nowadays. You and Peter were the same age, which is why you think Dr. Strange took pity on you regardless of you being a Hydra spy. They had taken you against your will and forced you to serve them. Kids tended to be the best type of spy because it was harder to be suspicious of them. But because you were the same age, when you both came back, the two of you had sort of relied on each other to help one another adjust to the new lives you had to accept. The world had moved on without the two of you, while the two of you were stuck in the same spot for years. It was nice having someone who understood, especially someone your age. That’s why you were okay with risking your own life to help Peter run away. Because that’s what the two of you have silently agreed to do for months now. Protect each other, have each other’s backs, help each other through the nightmares, through the adjustments, through the pain.

Opening the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, you saw the tube of antibiotic cream. You grabbed in and closed the small door, jumping when you saw Peter standing in the mirror behind you.

“I thought you would’ve seen me coming.” he chuckled.

“I was distracted. Thinking about…” You trailed off, suddenly becoming more interesting in washing your hands to prep them for the medicine.

“The blip?” He finished for you. You didn’t even have to answer, you silence spoke for you.

“If it never happened, I wonder if we would be here right now.” You couldn’t help but grasp at lost futures that you couldn’t see.

“Maybe. I mean, Mysterio is the real reason we’re here and I feel like he would’ve come around eventually.”

“But I wouldn’t be here.” You pointed out.

“Do you regret coming with me then?” Peter asked, looking away from you now, hurt evident on his face. “Because you can leave for the compound at any time, I won’t stop you if it��s what you want.”

“No.” The word came out without hesitation, and it caused Peter to snap his attention back to you in the mirror where you finally met his eyes. “I just mean that we probably wouldn’t have gotten as close as we had. I mean yeah, we’d both be Avengers and would know each other, but I would’ve stayed locked away in the compound, and you would’ve barely given me a second thought. I wouldn’t be here because you wouldn’t have trusted me enough to let me come along. I wouldn’t be here because even if you would have trusted me to come with you, I would’ve still gotten kidnapped and I wouldn’t have been able to get out of there without getting caught because you probably wouldn’t have come back for me. I might not have been able to see those futures, but after you watch as much of the future as I have, you start to put the pieces together that one small change would’ve been catastrophic.”

“I like to think that whatever we chose, if it wasn’t a conscious choice or something out of our control, it was fate.” Peter said, “We might not have made the same choices to get us to this exact scenario, if the blip hadn’t happened, but Sam probably would’ve still ordered you by my side, regardless of my hesitation. I probably would’ve not let you get taken in the first place because I wouldn’t have trusted your judgement as much when it came to taking on that guy. We were meant to go through this together and I would’ve stuck by your side same as now.”

You chuckle at the last part about taking on the guy, you wanted to change the subject. The idea of you not getting to where you were friendship wise with Peter was a painful thought. You loved him. It was hard not to. The idea of a timeline where you didn’t love him was hard to even think about.

“I could’ve taken him on if I wanted to.” A smug smirk played on your lips

“Oh, I know you could, that’s why I was so surprised when you just let him take you. Why did you?”

You turned around to face him, “Because I was trying to get him away from you.”

“You could’ve died, you know that, right?” Peter says, taking the medicine from you and applying it to a clean cotton pad from the first aid kit, rubbing it over your hand. The images of you and Peter dead on the ground of that building flash through your mind.

“I know. But so could you have. I’d rather die and give you a head start than for you to die.”

“Why? My life isn’t worth risking yours for.”

“Because if I don’t have you… I have no one.” You admitted.

“Well, that’s not true. You have the whole team.” Peter tried to reassure you.

You shook your head, a sad smile on your mouth as you spoke, “I’m not close to them like I am you. Will you guys be sad? I’d like to think so. Will it greatly alter your lives if I was gone? No. After a couple of weeks, maybe even months, everyone would move on, including you. But if you were to die, I’d have no other friends who could bring me back to caring enough to go on. I have no family. I just have you. I’d rather die myself and know that eventually you’d be able to go on with your life, than let you die knowing that if I had just looked at a different future, I might’ve saved you. Knowing that I’ll never have anyone like you again in my life.”

“If you died, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.” Peter said, a stress crease forming between his eyebrows. “I wouldn’t be able to move on because I never got to tell you that I love you.” The last part came out as a whisper as his hands set down the medicine and cotton pad. Bringing them to hold your cheeks.

You hesitantly brought your hands up to ghost over his. You might be able to see the future, but you didn’t see his confession coming. Turning your head slightly to kiss his palm, you whispered on his soft skin, “Then you understand.”

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[moonbeambucky]

Hey Neighbor (Part 1)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 1907 Warnings: none

Summary: You had a plan and then life came along with one of its own. With your future almost derailed you worked hard to get yourself back on track and finally everything seemed to be going right… that is, until your new neighbor moved in.

A/N: What started as an idea back in 2017 is finally here and I’m so excited!! I hope you love it as much as I do! A huge thank you to my wonderful beta Sam @buckyofthemyscira​ and to Allie @all1e23​​ who’s helped me keep my sanity while trying to write. Feedback is always appreciated!

HEY NEIGHBOR MASTERLIST

For an August evening it’s surprisingly comfortable, devoid of that awful humidity that leaves you choking on the thickness in the air. Yet it’s still warm enough to quickly melt the ice in your glass; condensation pooling on the outside, leaving a ring of water on the small stack of papers your drink is settled on.

Golden toned clouds cover the sky as the sun begins to fade, each day decreasing its presence by a few minutes before giving way to the darkness that would envelope the evening. It wasn’t a dramatic change, nor was it something most people would pay attention to, though it was something you had been accustomed to taking note of.

You looked forward to seeing the sun, feeling its heat on your skin as you stepped out of the office after a long day of work. As other people on the street rushed towards the subway you stood off to the side, letting your spirit recharge with its warm glow.

These days you seldom had time for yourself, moments when you could enjoy the nothingness, where you could stop and breathe, and take in the world around you. The murmured voices of the passersby, the hissing sound of the bus as it opens its doors, the soft strum of a guitar, the endless car horns and the sound of traffic that keeps this city alive like a beating heart.

The heat of your laptop warmed your thighs as you thumbed through a textbook. You ignored your rumbling stomach that begged you for a real dinner but you were determined to finish up this last part of your paper before you gave in to its whining demands.

You were working towards your Master’s Degree in Social Work but it had taken a lot longer than you expected, and juggling a full time job while taking part time classes made it more difficult but you were determined to achieve your dream.

You thought it would be simple when you first moved to New York; go to college, get your degree and find a job. Well, life has a funny way of doing what it wants despite the plans you imagined. Halfway through getting your undergraduate degree your living arrangements changed. Initially you were sharing an apartment with a few other students but your landlord hadn’t told you he was months into foreclosure and suddenly you found yourself scrambling to find a place to live.

The first instinct you had was to ask your current roommates if you all wanted to find something else together but one of them planned on moving in with a friend temporarily since she was about to graduate and the other wanted to live alone. You scoured the internet for another room rental but nothing looked safe or legitimate, and searching through Facebook groups for student rentals was fruitless. Nothing was available considering it was the middle of the semester, so you quickly began an apartment search.

Your definition of expensive drastically changed since moving to New York. Even simple things like food and coffee had an up charge; a small, no– large price to pay for city living, and rent was no different. You thought what you were paying to live in a small room was a lot, but as you searched for apartments your heart dropped. Even the smallest studio cost thousands a month.

There was one that caught your eye, the price was decent but still more than what you were currently paying. You attempted to work out a plan, thinking you could use some money from what little savings you had to make up the difference for the first month or two and hope your part time job would increase your hours. Things would be tight but there was a chance you could make it happen.

Your hope was crushed the next day when you went to see the apartment, a five story walk up that reeked of musty water. The cracked plaster walls were very off putting as were the suspicious black spots along the baseboards. The bathroom was much smaller than the photos, with hardly any room to even turn around in. Still you debated making this work as long as the suspected mold was taken care of until you opened the kitchen cupboards and screamed. A dark mass of large cockroaches scattered away from the light cementing your decision that you could not live here.

That night you texted your friend from home, Wanda, telling her about the horrible apartment and crying on the phone as she called to comfort you.

Wanda had been your best friend since you met in middle school. You always hoped she would join you in New York but you understood her reasons for wanting to be close to home.

“Wan, I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” you cried.

The clock was ticking and you still hadn’t found a place to live. Every day you searched through all the listings on Zillow, Apartments.com and Craigslist, and every day your anxiety increased. It seemed like there was no way to be a full time student if you wanted to live in New York.

You called your parents to let them know what was going on and asked for advice. Through many tears you had come to a painful decision, you needed to get a full time job. They offered to help with rent while you finished up this semester which you appreciated, knowing they really couldn’t afford the extra expense either. Your idea was to go to school part time, taking whatever courses you could at night or on the weekends. You were still reaching for your goal, you would just be taking a slower path.

A new listing popped up for an apartment in Chelsea that was about three times your current rent. Walking into the building your stomach was bubbling with excitement. Everything was bright and clean and the moment you stepped into the apartment you were overcome with joy; this place felt like home.

A smile spread across your face as you looked around the studio. Walking in there was a small kitchen to the right, with a slim refrigerator, small stove and just enough prep space beside the sink. Checking the cabinets you were relieved to know it was free of any insect roommates.

The bathroom was behind it, looking newly renovated while still emulating a classic vintage style of black and white tiles. The main room felt large with the window on the back wall letting in a good amount of sunlight. The cream colored walls also brightened the space against the longest wall of exposed, worn brick. The floors were a beautiful dark walnut that made everything feel warm.

You always thought love at first sight was a myth but you were proven wrong, you fell in love with this apartment immediately. You signed a lease and gave a deposit and suddenly everything seemed like it would fall into place. There was still the daunting task of finding a full time job but you felt encouraged.

Two weeks later you moved into your new apartment, and while you should have been studying for a test you were more interested in unpacking and decorating, making everything perfect. With a few nails into the drywall you hung a curtain rod above your bed, stringing fairy lights behind delicate sheer drapery that defined a cozy sleep space.

Laying back against your pillow you imagined what your apartment would look like eventually when you had the money to fill it with furniture, but for now it was perfect.

You had been on a few interviews and nearly had a job or two before they realized you wouldn’t be able to start for another six weeks. It was disappointing but you didn’t give up and that’s when you found yourself interviewing for Stark Industries.

A confident smile held strong on your face when you told the interviewer Ms. Parker you would be able to start when your semester was over. This led you both into a discussion about college as she told you about her teenage nephew who was interested in the STEM field and had begun looking into college options. Ms. Parker liked you a lot, and the job was yours as soon as you were ready for it.

You became the administrative assistant to Maria Hill, Director of Research and Development who worked closely with the senior staff. You had seen the infamous Tony Stark only once, popping his head out of the conference room as Ms. Hill and CEO Pepper Potts continued to chat.

From your desk you admired the women you aspired to be as confident as some day. Social work was a tough field, one where you needed to balance composure and empathy with assertiveness.

While working at Stark Industries you managed to take two classes per semester, fitting them in on nights and weekends. You wished you would have been able to do more but even this was burning you out quickly. You had little time to socialize but knew this would be worth it in the end.

A few years passed and had life not derailed your plan you would have had your Master’s by now, instead you had one last class to finish before you needed to complete 1200 hours of an internship. You pushed that off until the end, knowing it would take you some time to find a place that would accept you. Even though you would be working for free most places wanted you there at times that conflicted with your paying job.

As the sun began its slow descent the noise of the city increased and you had to shut your window to block out the sounds. All but one.

The soft guitar had increased in volume playing a familiar tune you heard every night. It wasn’t a song you’d ever heard before but your neighbor had played it often enough it was in your head. Instead of writing about a social worker’s role as an advocate for protecting human rights your mind drifted along with the melody.

It was a nice song but not one you wanted to hear every night and yet, every night your neighbor played like they were performing a concert instead of being considerate to the fact that they have neighbors, some of whom are trying to write a damn paper!

You haven’t seen this neighbor yet but you heard him moving into the apartment about a month ago. The paper thin walls allowed you to hear everything, from the instruments he played to the various women. Oh yes, he played them too, using a different one each night. Unfortunately you were able to tell the difference between each one by the sounds of the shrieks and moans that were burned into your mind until you decided to wear headphones to sleep.

Any attempts to continue your paper are futile and so you pack up your laptop and books and head down to the cafe a few blocks away that stays open late. It’s unfortunate that on top of the expensive rent and the cost of school you had to leave the comfort of your apartment to spend more money while occupying space in the cafe just to do your homework; all because of that selfish “Music Man” that you couldn’t wait to give a piece of your mind to.

PART 2