#but THEN...well i assume you've read it by now because i'm pretty sure i'm the last person on the planet to finally read it

[tathrin]

do you ship barduil would you ever write it?

No and no. I don't have a problem with the ship—it's not a notp for me—I just don't ever feel any interest in it, either.

You have to remember I still haven't even seen the third Hobbit movie and I've only watched the first two once each, so the ~vibes~ that fuel most of the fandom's interest in ships that sprang from it just aren't applicable in my case, sorry.

But I don't think there's anything wrong with it as a ship, and I can understand the theory of its appeal as a concept. I get where "grim widower elf-king and grim widower human king who end up fighting a war together, with grim elf king saving grim human king's people both with food and force of arms, and then afterwards they learn to love again together" appeals to folks. That's a foundation that definitely makes sense. I just don't have any personal feelings for the relationship.

And "mildly approving apathy" isn't a great foundation for writing a ship upon, so no. No barduil writing likely here XD

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Eddie Munson X Henderson! Reader

Part one

Part two

Things between you and Eddie reach boiling point.

My requests are open. Read my pinned post for what I do and don't write 💌💞

💞💞

After a long day at school all you wanted to do was curl up in bed and zone out for a while, do something relaxing and fun.

That thought excited you until you saw a familiar van parked outside your house. A feeling of dread creeps over you and your suspicions are confirmed when you head inside and there he is Eddie Munson is sitting on your couch and charming your mother.

Dustin is hanging on every word he says, Eddie looks up and smirks when you clear your throat.

"What's going on... Why are you here Munson?" His shit eating grin does nothing to quell your irritation.

"Hey princess, thought I'd stop by to see baby Henderson after school. He invited me to dinner and I just had to accept" oh of course he did. Your eyes narrow at him, you're sure he's plotting a way to get you back after your encounter with him at the party last week.

"Isn't he wonderful honey" your mother beams and you bite your tongue. It wouldn't do any good getting yourself grounded over Munson.

"Oh he's amazing" you flutter your eyes sarcastically at Eddie who's full lips break into a huge smile.

"I knew you loved me secretly sweetheart" he pretends to swoon and it almost makes you laugh. Idiot. You could see how Dustin liked him, well just like a tiny bit.

"You lot have fun while I go out okay? And be good Dustybun" your mother coos to Dustin and you grin delighted at his flushed face and wait til she leaves before bursting into laughter.

"Aww Dustybun we will have lots of fun won't we?" You throw your arm around him and gently pinch his cheek, teasing him. Eddie snickers in the background.

"Why was I not informed of your nickname Henderson?" He asks all serious but the glint of mischief in his eyes says different.

"His girlfriend calls him that" you add and Dustin mutters under his breath about how annoying you are.

💞

Eddie has rented Labyrinth for him and Dustin to watch and the two of them are enraptured by it. The movie is pretty good and you know, David Bowie in eyeliner, that's always a good thing.

The doorbell rings and you assume it's the pizza you ordered. Your stomach falls when you see it's Jacob. Great.

He's all puppy dog eyes and sweetness. You're wary because that can change in the blink of an eye.

"What do you want?" He scowls and the sweetness is gone and replaced with his usual sneer.

"Charming, here I am hoping we might be able to get back together and you act like a bitch as per usual" you shake your head and question what you ever saw in him.

"Yeah that's not going to happen, goodbye" you attempt to close the door but he blocks it, you're hearts racing with nerves but you refuse to show it.

"Remove your foot asshole, go home" he ignores you but then his eyes widen and he gapes.

"Munson?" Eddie is beside you, glaring at Jacob and he towers over him. There's a menacing look on his face and he looks between you and Jacob his eyes flashing.

"You heard the lady, leave now" Eddie snaps and Jason holds his hands up though he still has that stupid smirk on his face.

"didn't realise you and Munson... He waggles his eyebrow and you slam the door in his face. Asshole.

"You seriously dated that guy?" Eddie asks disgusted and you wince at his look.

"He's an asshole and yeah I did and it was a temporary lack of judgement" you tug him by his jacket and lead him into the room to talk in private.

"Look thanks for that. Jacob is a dick but I can handle myself. I don't need rescuing" you assure him and he raises his eyebrows and folds his arms across his chest.

"I don't doubt that sweetheart but somebody needed to tell the asshole to fuck off. Good thing I'm here'' he shrugs and you sigh.

"You're everywhere I look Munson, you never leave me alone. Now you've infiltrated my home! I can't escape you and your stupid dimples and pretty eyes" you say the last part and your eyes widen, Eddie turns serious and his big brown eyes burn with an intensity that you've never seen.

"Pretty eyes hmm?" he moves closer to you and you find that you really don't mind. Your heart is beating like crazy and warmness spreads in your lower stomach, it's intoxicating.

Jacob never made you feel like this. Ever.

"Don't act so surprised. You must know how hot you are, even if you're an ass" you're pressed against your door and the ache in your stomach is out of control now.

"Hmm well you might be upright and bitchy but you're so fucking beautiful" his hand caresses your cheek and the air is thick with tension and before you know it the two of you are kissing.

You both kiss for what feels like hours but it's only a minute or so and it's perfect, you never want it to end. Eddie pulls you closer and you nibble on his bottom lip, Eddie stifles a moan and white hot pleasure pulses through you.

Fuck, you want to hear him moan again. Eddie pulls away for a second and you whimper missing the contact of his lips on yours. Then they press to your lips again and it's amazing.

"Pizza's here" Dustin yells and you and Eddie jerk apart both breathing heavily and Eddie is gazing at you in wide eyed wonder.

"Fuck" he whispers and you nod feeling stunned yourself. Dustin stomps through and looks between you and Eddie.

"What happened to you two? You went so quiet I thought you might have killed each other" he looks between you and Eddie suspiciously.

Dustin scoffs, "We were just talking butthead, come on let's get pizza" he looks back at you for a moment and you know that you want that kiss to happen again.

You're screwed.

[canonizzyhours]

I'm a professional screenwriter. I know nobody reading this has any reason to believe that, and I work pretty hard to keep my fandom activity separate from my professional identity, so I'm not going to offer any proof that would doxx me here, believe me or don't. But it's true and I don't just mean I'm trying to get hired as a screenwriter, I mean I am pretty well established in the industry and I've worked on some stuff big enough you've probably heard of it. I've also been active in OFMD fandom for about two years now, since nearly the beginning.

The canyon really freaks me out because seeing it up close makes me worried I've drastically underestimated audiences' empathy gap around characters of color and tendency to sympathize with and excuse the actions of white characters. I've always tried to be conscious about that sort of thing in my work but now that I'm seeing the whole process up close it's so much worse than I always thought.

I think a lot about what I would have done during season 1 of OFMD, if I were in the writers' room and I'd wanted to make sure it would be clear to the audience that Izzy was Ed's abuser and wasn't acting out of secretly sympathetic motives and we're supposed to be genuinely horrified by his actions. I'm in writers' rooms workshopping issues like this all the time. I know the kinds of suggestions I'd make.

Like, if we were worried that the audience would think Izzy's hostility toward Stede was about class instead of homophobia, I might have suggested we make sure Izzy's dialogue never has any reference to Stede's class at all, and that we might do a subplot in one episode where Izzy is equally hostile toward Lucius, since Lucius clearly isn't rich but is extremely gay. But that already happened, and it didn't help.

If I wanted to make sure the audience understood that Izzy is bossing the crew around and screaming at everyone to work harder because he's a petty little bully on a power trip and not because the work actually needs to get done, I might have suggested a scene where Izzy deliberately makes a mess on purpose just so he can order the crew to clean it up. But that already happened, and it didn't help.

If I wanted to make it clear that Izzy has always been awful toward everyone around him -- especially his colleagues of color -- since long before the show started, I might have suggested we repeatedly emphasize throughout the season that while Fang is willing to work with him, he doesn't like or respect Izzy and this is because Izzy has always treated Fang very badly. Have him pull on Fang's beard for no reason and have Fang explicitly say he hates that but knows it wouldn't help to complain. Have Fang tell strangers jokes about times Izzy humiliated himself in public. Have a scene where everybody unanimously VOTES TO MURDER IZZY and someone explicitly stops to ask Fang if he's cool with this and Fang explicitly says yes this is absolutely fine with me and then he actively participates in the murder plan while smiling. But all of that happened and I still see the canyon insisting that Izzy was a much nicer person before the events of s2 when he wasn't under so much stress and has always been liked and respected by the PoC around him, including specifically Fang!

If I were worried that the audience might take seriously the idea that Izzy is motivated by "loyalty to your captain" -- well, honestly I don't think it ever would have occurred to me to worry about that, since he says that in a scene where he's in the middle betraying his captain and I'd probably assume people are capable of picking that up and understanding that when someone says they're abusing you for your own good you should not believe them. But if someone else insisted we address the concern, suggestions I'd make would include: make sure some of the first interactions we see between Ed and Izzy involve Izzy complaining about how he doesn't want to do the job Ed just gave him, then half-assing the mission and lying to Ed's face about it. Show Izzy deliberately undermining Ed to the crew by telling them he's half-insane, then insist to Ed that he's the only one keeping the crew loyal when they're worried about his judgment. But they did that stuff and we still have people thinking Izzy's central motivation throughout season 1 is selfless devotion to Ed.

The show did every single thing I would have suggested, and none of it worked. So what does it say about all the stuff I've already worked on, whenever I've written a scene where a white guy was being a dick to characters of color? Have I just been embarrassingly naive this whole time? Have I undermined my own work by not getting this?

You can't control audience reactions, I know that, that's part of what's great about art, you have to let go and accept that people will interpret things in ways you never intended, I get it. But if it's THIS impossible to choose words that will create the kind of feelings you meant to, what's the point? Is it even possible to write about the kind of abusive relationship Ed and Izzy have, where the white guy thinks he's entitled to control a brown man's life "for his own good" and that the brown guy is obligated to be grateful and reciprocate his "love" and not have a huge group of people creating elaborate justifications for the white guy? What else could they have done? What else can I do, when I'm writing about characters of color? I'm seriously asking. If anybody reading this has advice I want to hear it. What could I do?

#408.

[vodika-vibes]

It's My Choice

Summary: Echo is in recovery at a GAR medical facility on Coruscant after being assumed KIA. You want to see him, more than anything, and you hope he knows that he's your choice.

Pairing: ARC Trooper Echo x F!Reader

Word Count: 1190

Warnings: reader is described as having hair long enough to style, and as a supermodel.

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: So I had an idea, and I decided to run with it. It might not flow well, simply because I'm very sick and have been for the last two days, but I'm happy with it. (Also, pardon any typos/grammar errors, I typed this while not wearing my eyes.)

You lean back in the hard, uncomfortable chair of the GAR medical facility, your gaze drifting to the ceiling as you wait for an update on Echo. The chairs really are terrible, but then the clones were never meant to have worried family you suppose.

Jokes on them. Echo has you.

You allow the back of your head to thump against the wall behind you and you stretch your legs out in front of you and cross your ankles.

You've been here for almost 12 hours now.

Fives contacted you as soon as the Resolute landed on Coruscant and informed you that Echo was alive and was being treated for his injuries here. He mentioned that you didn't have to come, but clearly he's lost his damned mind.

As if you'd be anywhere else.

Of course, you probably should have taken the time to make sure that you fixed your hair and washed the extreme make-up off…and changed out of the six inch stilettos you had been forced into for work today.

But, whatever. Echo's alive. Nothing else matters.

Even if your agent has been blowing up your com for the last six hours. And even if General Skywalker has been side-eyeing you like he thinks you're trespassing. 

Your comma chimes again, and you absently lift it over your head to read the message. And then promptly deleted it. Your agent will just have to deal.

A door at the end of the hall opens, and you tilt your head to the side, before you sit up straight as Fives steps into the hall and walks over to you.

He takes in your carefully styled hair —artfully tousled, your stylist called it— the dark make-up, and the impossibly high stilettos and he huffs out a laugh, “You come here right from a shoot?”

“Echo’s more important than any photo shoot. Besides, I had already finished when you called.” You reply as you kick your heels off and scramble to your feet, “Can I see him?”

Fives smiles at you, “Yeah. Follow me.” He waits for you to scoop your heels, and your bag, off the ground before he starts walking, “I should warn you…he looks bad.” Fives says quietly as he stops next to the door.

You lift your chin and glare at him, “Contrary to what you, and apparently everyone else, believes. I'm not dating Echo because of his pretty face.”

“Okay, okay. Sheathe your claws, kitten. I just wanted to warn you.” Some of the offended tension drains from your shoulders, you didn’t mean to snap at him, but it wouldn’t be the first time someone made an assumption about you and your choice to have a relationship with Echo.

Fives opens the door and moves to the side to let you into the room, and your breath catches when you see him.

Like Fives said, he looks bad. Thin, too thin by far, and so pale. The prosthetics and cybernetics are new, but honestly, you’re only bothered by them because you’re sure that they must have hurt.

“Echo,” You step into the room, and set your heels and your bag in a chair, before you move closer to his side. There are tears in your eyes, but they’re happy tears, “Welcome home.”

Echo blinks at you, twice, and then he slowly slides up in the hospital bed, “Cyar’ika…when…how did you know I was here?”

“Fives commed me and told me. I’ve been sitting out there for hours.” You look around and then huff out a sigh, before dumping your stuff on the floor and moving the chair next to the bed. You lightly take his prosthetic in your hand, a scomp, rather than a hand.

You hope that it was his choice, rather than one made for him. 

He tenses, but he doesn’t pull away from you, “You didn’t have to.”

You smile at him, “Echo. You’re here, and you’re alive. Where else would I be?”

His gaze flickers across your face, and then over to the heels lying on the floor, “Well, judging by the height of those heels, a photoshoot.”

“Not half as important as you.” You reply dismissively.

He shifts and slowly sits up, properly, before reaching out and pressing his flesh hand against your cheek, “Cyar’ika…” Echo hesitates, and then flashes a wry, self-deprecating smile, “I don’t think I’m pretty enough for you.”

You bite your tongue to stem your immediate, and loud, disagreement. Instead you reach up and press your hand over his, rubbing your cheek against his hand. “Why would you say that?”

“Why-? Cyare. Look at me!”

“I am looking.”

“Then I shouldn’t have to explain-”

“Would you like to know what I see when I look at you, Echo?”

“Not really.” You tilt your head, and he sighs, “Tell me.”

“The man who, after meeting me, an actual supermodel, invited me to go to a bookstore with him.” Echo flushes, and it’s obvious due to how pale he is, “A man who overheard me mentioning to my agent that I was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to meet my favorite author and made sure that I arrived on time.” Your smile widens, “A man who learned who my favorite author was, simply so he could read the books too, so he’d have something to talk about with me.”

Echo averts his gaze, “We talked all night.” He murmurs.

“We did. And I got in so much trouble the next morning because I had dark circles under my eyes, and you got in trouble because you were late to formation…but we did the exact same thing three nights later.”

Echo laughs softly, “I thought Rex’s head was going to explode.” He admits.

You release his scomp hand and reach up to press your hand against his cheek, “I see the man I fell in love with. The man who looks at me and sees more than the dumb supermodel that everyone expects me to be.” You scan his face, almost anxiously, “And I’m hoping he still loves me.”

He looks at you, something soft in his gaze, “You still want me-?”

“Always. Forever. Until the stars go cold.”

“Your agent is not going to approve.” Echo warns as he lightly tugs you off the chair and onto the edge of the bed.

“I cannot emphasize enough how little I care about my agent’s opinion.” You admit quietly, “If I have to choose, I know who my choice will be.”

Echo exhales slowly, and slowly tugs you in until your forehead lightly bumps against his, “I love you.” He whispers, “I never stopped loving you. Even when I could barely remember anything, I still remembered your smile and the smell of your lotion and the feel of your skin under my fingers.”

“Charmer.” You whisper.

“Mean every word.” Echo whispers right back, and then he tugs you once more and catches your lips in a kiss that’s soft and loving enough that it nearly brings you to tears.

You have your Echo back. He might look a little different, but he’s here and it’s all you’ve ever wanted.

[cassolotl]

Results of the nonbinary name survey

Hi folks, just thought I'd throw together a quick report about nonbinary names based on the recent survey.

The survey ran from 4th until 13th May, and there were 5,179 usable responses. For this one I won't share the full spreadsheet of all responses, as it contains potentially identifying information. Having said that, you can find a spreadsheet of the information I can share with you here. Every name entered only once has been redacted.

Most popular names

Let's kick it off with the main reason I did this survey, finding the nonbinaryest name:

Alex was #1, with 1.6%, which is 1 in 62 nonbinary people.

Here's the full top 10:

Alex - 1.6% (83)

Jay - 1.2% (64)

Sam - 0.9% (49)

Charlie - 0.7% (36)

Max - 0.7% (36)

Ash - 0.6% (33)

Robin - 0.6% (33)

Rowan - 0.6% (31)

Kit - 0.6% (30)

Eli - 0.6% (29)

Name length

I'm familiar with the stereotype that nonbinary people choose names by taking 3 letters from a bag of Scrabble tiles, or that nonbinary people take letters off their given names until it's one ungenderable syllable, and I would like to take this opportunity to add that these are both excellent ways to create new names. :D

This graph takes a rolling median name length from the whole list, and it shows that generally speaking the most popular names tended to be shorter:

The average name length was 5.1 characters long.

This seems to support the stereotypes, but I feel it's worth mentioning that we can't know for sure whether it actually does, because for all we know, binary people's names might show these kinds of patterns too.

Number of names per person

Participants could enter as many names as they wanted, in a list separated by commas. That made it pretty easy to count them, and it turned out like this:

That's fairly straightforward, most people have only one name.

Problems with survey design

Overall I definitely feel that the survey had some flaws. I knew in advance that there would be some people who have more than one name that they like more or less equally, but for some reason the first question I came up with assumed that you have one name that you like most and then required a single answer from a list stating how that name happened to you - leading the respondent to a different section based on that answer.

What if you've got two or more names that you like equally, and one was given to you by your parents when you were born that you use for work, one is a nickname based on that name that evolved between you and your family and friends as you were growing up, and one is a name you chose yourself and your closest friends call you that? That's pretty much an impossible question, isn't it?

And there were several other questions in the survey that took that approach, making the data from those questions basically useless.

I didn't think it would cause problems for so many people, but it did, and I have learned my lesson there.

However, there was a question asking you to list all your names, and that's what I used to make the ranked list. I don't see how people with more than one name that they prefer completely equally (i.e. those people who would be thrown out of the survey by an impossible required first question) would prefer different names from people with one name only, so I think the ranked list is probably approximately okay, and same for the number of names per person graph and the average name length.

Implications

I haven't decided yet, but I definitely think there's scope for doing this survey annually - but separately from the identity/titles/pronouns survey, for anonymity reasons. It could be fun to track popular nonbinary names over time, similar to the popular name lists for babies that are usually split by boys'/girls' names. It might be a bit meaningless unless I collect country data as well though, which is why the list currently reads very....... American..........

Now that I've learned a lot from a big and not-so-well-designed survey run on my personal account, I'd feel more comfortable designing something a bit more fit for purpose, and running it from the @gendercensus accounts to hopefully get more participants.

~ Fin ~

[celestiababie]

svt reaction to accidentally overstimulating you until you squirt

love ur stuff btw!

A/N: I'm going to assume that you meant this for svt since I pretty much only write for them at this point. If not, please send another specifying who it was for and I'll redo it. I didn't really edit this, so I'm sorry if it's shit. ANYWAYS, I hope you enjoy it!!! Feedback is appreciated!

Seungcheol: He'd instantly want to make you squirt again, but you'd make sure you had a breather before how tries again. Lowkey becomes obsessed with pushing you to your limits.

"Fuck Y/n, you're making such a mess for me, baby."

Jeonghan: Honestly, it would surprise him more than he'd care to admit. He was just focused on finger fucking you and didn't think he was doing anything extraordinary, but similar to Seungcheol...he'd want to see if you could do it again. Might become a menace in the process.

"You can do it again, right, angel? C'mon, give it to me." Ugh I can see the smirk on his face already.

Joshua: He'd honestly take a moment to process what just happened but would be so sweet if you got embarrassed because of what happened. He'd ask if it was too much and offer to change the sheets for you while you take a bath. But don't be fooled by his sweet response because he'd definitely bring it up again in innuendos and tease you for it in the future.

Jun: He isn't quite sure how it happened, but he seems like the kind of guy that would be into it already? But he just wouldn't mention it to you or try anything in particular to get you to squirt. But now that he knows it's possible...he'd ask to see if he can make you do it again.

Soonyoung: Gets really giddy over what just happened. So much so that he doesn't fully realize how spent you are and once he calms down a bit, he'd be rushing to give you the best aftercare in the entire world. Would be cuddling you and then all of a sudden ask you questions about it.

"Did you feel good?"

"It felt good, right?"

"We can do it again if you want."

Wonwoo: This man already researched and has the knowledge stored away in his brain somewhere. But, he would never intentionally try, he was just so lost in the look on your face and how much you were moaning that he wouldn't realize he was subconsciously doing those things he read about. If you were confused or embarrassed, he'd give you a brief (unnecessary) explanation as to why that happened. He'd be really into it and want to see if all the other methods he read about worked just as well.

Jihoon: Will write a song about wanting to drown in your love with the most innuendos you've ever seen. I'm kidding, mostly. No but in all seriousness, it would trigger a cockiness in him that would be so fucking attractive. Ugh whenever he felt like getting an ego boost from now on he'd just roll up his sleeves and finger fuck you until you're screaming his name and drenching his fingers.

Dokyeom: I see him as someone who's normally sweet and very intimate during bed so he would be so entranced in the feeling that he wouldn't realize he was overstimulating you until he felt an unfamiliar pressure around his cock that would force him to pull out and thus causing you to squirt. Man would be silent, wide eyed in SHOCK, but still so turned on and desperate to cum for you that he'd ask if you wanted to keep going.

Mingyu: He's very eager to please and often gets lost in the undeniably incredible feeling of making his favorite person feel good so I'm not surprised he overstimulates you fairly often. But when he makes you squirt for the first time, it would trigger the curious experimentalist in him. After you fall asleep (after much needed aftercare) he would be on his phone all night to look up more ways to make you squirt and tell you all about his findings in the morning with the most excited look on his face.

Minghao: I think he's very in tune with his body as well as his lover's body so I find it surprising if he accidentally overstimulated you...he's too aware for that...but he would caress your body after making you squirt, trying to calm your body and bring you back down to earth with him. He'd give you all the time you needed to stop shaking from the aftershocks of pleasure, whispering loving and soothing words throughout the entire time. I feel like he'd really be into observing what his partner looks like when they cum and after they cum.

Seungkwan: Tries to be nonchalant and act like what just happened didn't boost his ego massively but you could see him literally grinning to himself as he cleaned the sheets. Will definitely want to make you do it again another time but is slightly nervous he just got very lucky and won't be able to move his fingers the same way.

Vernon: "Oh wow." That's it. Kidding (not really) This man would be so frozen just staring at the mess while you tried to calm down. You'd finally noticed him staring and if you started apologizing it would immediately break him out of whatever spell he was under and he'd reassure you that he found it hot...like really hot. Kind of a new fetish for him.

Chan: Becomes an annoying menace who thinks he's a sex god, but it's okay because he's really hot when he's confident and feeling himself. Would tease you for it in the future and probably bring it up when you're being intimate.

"Wait, should we lay down a towel? You made such a mess last time, babe."

A fairly reasonable question, but the smirk he'd have on his face would reveal his true intentions.

[anitalianfrie]

I am begging you to translate this: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7eN1flsqvO/?igsh=Y3R5MGFuMWdiZzNr

(It is several minutes long though and will probably be a huge pain so no pressure!)

sure! here's the link . I recommend watching the video while you read this bc the volg is cut really weird, there's not one long conversation and what happens in the video is pretty useful to understand what's going on in the translation. unfortunately i wasn't able to translate some bits, but i tried my best

as always, my comments/specifications are in between []

Mig: hello everyone, I've arrived at bez's house. Cele's not here yet

Mig: hey

Bez: sium

Mig: I couldn't not start a video like this, could i?

Bez: with the plane

Mig: with the plane. it gives it the look of a vlog, doesn't it? We're waiting for Cele

Bez: the excruciating wait

--

Cele: I'm at the roundabout, the one with the car dealers

Bez: what car dealer bro?

Cele: ehhhh, the ones that-

mig: what kind of question is that

Cele: i don't know, anyways i'm here, two minutes and i'm there

Bez: okay, okay

Mig: two minutes like those before, or two real minutes?

Bez: sorry, but what car does he have?

Cele: the Cupra

Bez: yes, here he is, here he is

Mig: listen to him

Mig: tac!

Mig: in the end, [something i don't get]

Bez: we're ready

Cele: the boots for Mugello, because I go to Mugello. With stile.

Mig: well, it's not like those boots are super new. Understandable. you- why-

Bez: one different from the other

Mig: one different from the other

Cele: obviously. I even have another pair even more broken

Mig: but the backpack is the right one

Cele: yes [something i don't get]

Mig: well i mean, we stay away the night but, whatever. everybody- this pair [of boots] is in a bit of a better state than the other one

Cele: yes. better. [cele shows the boot to the camera]

Mig: this one is perfect

Cele: nooo

Mig: two left boots

Bez: but the others are left and right

Cele: yes, I know, but-

Mig: what shoe size do you wear?

Cele: but what if I slip on the left?

Mig: what's your shoe size bro?

Cele: 40, 41, 42

Mig: You can borrow mine

[here's the song they were listening to in the car]

--

--

Franky: Marco

Bez: Franky! how is it?

Franky: everything's okay

Mig: hi Chicco! [chicco is usually the nickname given to people named federico. knowing mig this is a reference of some sort i'm not able to place]

Bez: yes, we were doing a round fo calls, we wanted to know how you were

Franky: everythings alright

Franky: there's also Celestino, what is he doing

Cele: hi Franco

Franky: what is he doing?

BEz: he's here, he's here

Mig: hi Franco!

Franky: hi Celes!

Cele: hi!

[i assume bez's laugh here is bc franco is completely ignoring mig wich. hilarious to me]

Franco: hi!

--

[second song they were listening to. yes it's calcutta i almost couldn't believe my ears]

mig: we're here. one hour and- almost two hours later

--

Bez: ohi where are you?

Pecco: at the hotel

Bez: in hotel?

Pecco: have you arrived yet?

Bez: ah so you've arrived before us

Pecco: well, obviously

Mig: we're here

Bez: we've arrived just now

Pecco: ok, then now we'll go downstairs, let's meet in the lobby at eight. which is now.

Bez: we're here now, now we park

Mig: i would do the check in, and then we go back downstairs

--

Mig: here they are, here they are

Mig: it's like in shining

Cele: we can go to misano directly tomorrow

Pecco: if we go back in time, we go

--

Mig: hello everyone, ehhh we're ready we've woken up and now we go to the circuit, we go to the others

Mig: now, where are our champions? Let's go see near the car. oh, here they are

Mig: Come on! Good morning! Let's go, come on! and sbam!

--

Mig: you do the greeting, this is the classical greeting when you arrive at the circuit, you rise your hand

--

Guy: - because we were thinking of putting down the names of singers, or-

Cami: the name on the transponder is the name of a singer

Pecco: for me either Steve Taylor or Francesco Renga. Now i have to decide

Franco: good morning

--

Mig: ehhh, what's the theme? Singers or bands, or like is it the same...

Guy: singers

--

Mig: my denstist will be proud of me. Shoutout to Doctor Bausi, he's the number one. Super important [something i don't get bc of the toothbrush]

Bez: you cut three, four tens of a second each lap

--

[all the conversations in the box were either very difficult to hear or with too little context to make them translatable (or even useful to translate) sorry]

--

Mig: well guys, this is all, from the track, now the return trip awaits us

--

Mig: that's true, we stayed on the phone the whole time, but now we're here.

Bez: yeah

Mig: bye. we're here, and nothing else. we go home, it was amazing, and... do you have something to declare to end this- here there's a knee slider by the way, i guess it's vietti's... is it yours?

Bez: i declare that.. this return trip has been one of the greatest trip of all time, with a group phone call of...

Mig: one hour and fifteen

Bez: one hour and fifteen

Mig: since before Bologna

Bez: we never felt alone, we felt cuddled by our friends

Cele: we never felt this close

--

Mig: there's a spider, it doesn't open

Bez: can i say it now? you didn't do as you- what is that, what rug is that?

Mig: it's nice isn't it

Bez: where did you stole it from?

Mig: i bought it. I bought it from Toriani, a carpet- from Toriani Tavullia's hardware store, a rug with the sun and the moon, for a step, this a step rug

--

Mig: bye everyone, it's been great

Cele: thank you [while hugging bez]

Mig: it's been a pleasure

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Idk if you've already posted about this but opinions on Jamil's relationship with Kalim?

I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about the Scarabia duo’s dynamic before, although not in this broad of a sense 🤔 I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try and condense my thoughts?

I think Kalim and Jamil’s relationship is one of the most complex among the core cast of 22. To simplify, it’s similar to “frenemies”, but it runs much deeper than that. There is a relationship on an individual level, but that in of itself also speaks to the expectations places on them in-universe , as well as real-world cultural differences.

I won't bore you with a summary of Jamil and Kalim's history I'm going to assume you did the required reading for that/j, but essentially their conflict is this: Jamil's family, the Vipers, have serviced Kalim's family, the Asims, for generations. Kalim sees Jamil as a childhood friend that has grown up alongside him, but Jamil sees Kalim as an ignorant and useless master. Jamil doesn't want to live this life of servitude, nor does he want to keep playing second fiddle to Kalim by downplaying his own abilities to maintain the illusion of Kalim being better than him. When this is revealed in book 4, Kalim tries to apologize to Jamil and even insists that they can still be friends or just start over as rivals. This offer is swiftly rejected by Jamil, who claims he wants nothing to do with Kalim anymore. Come book 5 though, Jamil informs us that he has decided to stay by Kalim's side for now, as it just isn't feasible for him to "break free" right away (Jamil wants to work on rebuilding his reputation, which has taken a plummet since book 4).

Now, before I move on with my thoughts, I want to point out a difference in how EN and JP presents Jamil and Kalim's relationship. JP is very clear in delineating that Jamil is a servant and Kalim is the master. Meanwhile, EN obfuscates the true nature of their relationship by labeling Jamil an "employee" and Kalim as the "employer", which come across as less of a power dynamic than that of servant and master and thus dampens the seriousness of his eventual emotional breakdown.

Another major difference which may impact how you see the duo is some book 4 dialogue changes. When asked by Grim why he doesn’t stand up to Kalim, Jamil very explicitly says in JP that Kalim’s father could make the Viper family suffer for it. In EN, this was changed to Jamil complaining that his parents would lecture him. In the original JP text, Jamil then continues and says that his whole family would be put out on the streets due to his own selfishness, and that’s something he won’t allow to happen. He also remarks that “this is the fate of those born a Viper”, referring to generational trauma. In EN, this doesn’t happen; Jamil just implies he doesn’t want to get scolded, which is admittedly a much… lesser consequence than what was stated in JP.

Please note that these differences between the original script and the localization may affect how some fans interpret Kalim and Jamil's relationship.

These are things I've mentioned in other discussions of "potential solutions" to this conflict, but I'll repeat them here before going into more detail since they are relevant. In book 4, Kalim offers Jamil whatever he wants (even the dorm seat and Kalim going home to his family). To this, Jamil refuses and states very clearly that "as long as Kalim exists", he can never be content. I feel that oftentimes this is interpreted very literally, as in "Jamil wants to kill Kalim because he hates Kalim and/or hates serving Kalim". But just because a character says one thing doesn't mean it's what they actually mean. If you think about it, what does killing Kalim do for Jamil? Aren't there countless other Asim siblings he could be sent to serve once Kalim is gone? What Jamil is literally saying does not make sense.

The other way to interpret his words is that Jamil is using Kalim as a scapegoat for all of his frustrations with larger problems that have no physical form or simple solution to them. Recall that their arrangement has been going on for several generations now—Jamil's parents, too, were given no choice in whether or not they wanted to devote their lives to the Asims, but it's all they've known and all they will enforce onto their own children to keep the cycle going. This is the root cause of Jamil's suffering—but he isn't exactly a time wizard, and there isn't a simple solution to something that has been brewing for hundreds of years. It's easier for him to cope with the unfavorable circumstances by directing his hatred towards someone convenient. And who could be more convenient to blame than the young master Jamil is forced to serve? He becomes the symbol, nay the face, of what Jamil detests about the system that put him here. This is a case of generational trauma and Jamil not knowing how to cope with it other than lashing out at someone who is unaware of his suffering.

On the other side of this equation, Kalim gets a lot of flack for not noticing Jamil's pain and not intervening to help him out despite claiming that he cares for Jamil. This coming from an omnipotent perspective (as in, we have all the information so we feel entitled to cast judgment on the characters), rather than from Kalim's perspective. We, the audience, understand Jamil's inner turmoil due to how the game presents us with each OB boy's backstory. Kalim doesn't get to have that. He may be an empathetic individual, but he also isn't a mind reader. Jamil actively hides his true resentment from Kalim. And if you were in Kalim's shoes, given everything you want and praised endlessly, why would you suspect your childhood friend, who is always at your side, to hate of you or to hate working for you (especially when Kalim is the type of person to blindly trust others)? Of course he would be totally oblivious. The Asims are so obnoxiously wealthy and privileged that they can afford to shelter their children from the harsh realities of the world, and that includes the plight of those that toil for their family. Kalim is not used to people telling him he's wrong or he sucks or he can't have something; it's how he was raised and in part why he remains largely ignorant of the real world. He shouldn't be faulted for how he grew up and the limited worldview that resulted from it; that’s something he cannot control. What he can control is his own behavior, and that’s why we see post-book 4 as he takes steady strides to earn recognition rather than be handed it simply for existing.

On the topic of Kalim intervening (whether that is through speaking with his own father and/or speaking to Jamil's parents), well... Firstly, I don't think Kalim is someone who would intentionally keep another in a bad situation out of malice or out of selfishness/not wanting to lose Jamil (as some have suggested). Yes, he deeply values Jamil's company, but I don't think he would keep someone with him knowing that they would be completely miserable even if he would be happy. Kalim is someone who cares so much for the wellbeing of others, especially his friends. He will literally give you the world at the slightest inconvenience. I suspect that there is another reason why he hasn't spoken to an adult about what went down: and that's actually consideration for Jamil’s situation.

Let's imagine a scenario where Kalim does approach his dad or the Viper parents. What exactly would he say? I suppose Kalim doesn't necessarily need to tell them about the OB, but just telling them "Jamil is not happy doing this" may not be enough on of itself to invoke a change of mind. To the Asims, they get capable people they can trust and keep close to them. To the Vipers (the parents), they are compensated for their work (Jamil implies the Vipers are quite well-off, though not to the same extent as the Asims) and are provided job stability. I don’t think either side would be willing to end a long-standing arrangement like what their families have so quickly just because there is one open instance of discontent. It is practically tradition and mindset at this point. The groups are mutually benefitting (at the cost of individual freedoms). Letting go of that isn't as easy as deciding whether or not it would be pleasant to be punched; it isn't a binary of "freeing the genie" or "keeping the genie bound to the lamp", there will inevitably be a mess left in its wake to clean up after. Again, this is generational trauma which has been normalized for generations and generations. It cannot be solved with a single conversation, the same as all the other OB boys' traumas.

Let’s say that Kalim does spill the beans about Jamil’s OB in an effort to convince them then (assuming they’d need some extreme justification). Wouldn’t that just make everyone panic and further damage Jamil’s reputation? What would the Asims and the Vipers think of him? Maybe Jamil would be released from his duties out of concern for Kalim’s safety, but what would this do to the Viper family as a whole? Jamil mentioned they could be thrown out onto the streets if they were dismissed from the Asims or found out to have so much as spoken out against Kalim. That fear could become their reality.

Another variant of "Kalim could do something about it" is simply "Kalim can release Jamil on his own". In book 5, Jamil even says that he will continue to be Kalim's aid "until Kalim dismisses him". So why not give Jamil the freedom he wants? Kalim himself seems pretty receptive to the idea, or at least to what he views as a very simple solution. Well, 1) there's no way their families wouldn't find out and question it, they are teenagers and cannot just give the middle finger and proceed to do whatever they want, and 2) again, consideration for Jamil. (It could also be said that the current Kalim just isn’t mature enough or emotionally ready to let Jamil go, but we’ll save this point to discuss later.)

Jamil cannot leave of his own will because he worries about what that would mean for his family and their livelihood. (Again, this harkens back to the line he had in JP where he said the Vipers could be thrown out into the streets.) They could get jobs doing something else, sure—but their reputations may be forever stained by departing from the Asims (especially if Kalim basically fires him). They could be scorned, ostracized, maybe even blacklisted, no matter how amicable the departure is. Kalim being Kalim would offer to pull strings to smooth things over for Jamil—but the thing is, that’s probably not what Jamil wants. He wants to be able to live free from the Asim’s influence, and likely has too much pride to accept assistance from them.

I would argue that social shame is a very subtle yet looming threat for the Scarabia duo, and particularly Jamil (especially if you look at the original Japanese text). Social shame is something that is prominent in Japan, and this aspect of Kalim and Jamil's story may not translate well for western audiences. Japan is a collectivist culture. That means the status of the group (the Viper family in this case) is more valued than the status of the individual (ie Jamil). In western countries, this is reversed and the individual is seen as more important than the group (individualism). Because of this, western audiences may not fully understand why Jamil is putting his family's needs above his own, why he doesn't talk back to parents that actively keep him down, or why he doesn’t just… rebel on the spot.

Jamil would bring intense social shame upon his family if he chose to leave or got fired. His behavior would reflect poorly on his family, likely attracting criticism of his parents for how they raised such a rebellious child and perhaps even limit the opportunities they have in the future depending on how intense the shaming is. He would feel guilty about being the cause for their fall from grace. Jamil is immensely worried about what his parents, his dorm mates, and society at large will think of him breaking from tradition and betraying the family for what would be seen as selfish and self-serving reasons. (Ideas which are all reflected in Jamil’s JP dialogue, where he comments on his own selfishness and how it could impact his family.) These may not seem very serious to those from western countries, but social shame and intense filial piety has the capacity to put so much pressure on an individual and cause their mental state to deteriorate.

Remember, too, that Jamil is already facing social shame at school for what he did in book 4 and he specifically says he has chosen to stay with Kalim to regain the lost rep. This is why he cannot be freed from his shackles as easily as Aladdin made a wish to grant the Genie his freedom. Jamil constantly has to consider the consequences and social ramifications of his own actions on his family and their wellbeing. Isn't it plausible, then, that Kalim, who is now aware of Jamil's true feelings but is also aware of the long-standing circumstances between the Asims and the Vipers, to bite his tongue and wait for less precarious conditions before even pitching the idea? Additionally, he would also technically be supporting Jamil's current wishes by standing aside for now (Jamil is willingly staying to aid Kalim in an attempt to rebuild his reputation). Is that not in the spirit of mindfulness that Scarabia extols? Mindfulness is not just knowing when to act, but when to not act. I think Kalim’s just doing what he can within a preexisting system to support Jamil’s decisions and (limited) autonomy.

Something that I feel often isn’t brought up is the responsibility that Jamil’s parents play in all of this. A lot of the blame is put on the Asims for hiring the Vipers as servants, but the fact of the matter is that the Viper parents are the ones forcing Jamil to be subservient to Kalim. They are also guilty in perpetuating the problem by projecting onto their eldest child and urging him to follow in their footsteps. Jamil is their child, so there should be some responsibility on them for not giving him the freedom to choose his own career path and teaching Jamil that he should keep his head down and always be inferior to Kalim. The blame isn’t squarely on Papa Asim (who isn’t even guilty of starting this relationship, it has been happening for generations before him; he’s just perpetuating it), this is a shared issue.

Now, as to whether or not Kalim and Jamil could or should be friends despite the bad blood between them?? It’s really on Jamil if he will reciprocate or not since Kalim already offered the olive branch. As it’s currently going, I don’t think it will happen anytime soon. There’s no doubt that a relationship with Kalim would be a valuable asset (not just for negotiating Jamil leaving and doing his own thing, but in general for the future), but whether the benefits outweigh the mental anguish of associating Kalim with his generational trauma is worth it… well, there’s no doubt that Kalim wants to start over, make amends, and be equals with Jamil, but it’s not up to Kalim to decide to make friends or not. That’s Jamil’s choice, and ironically one of the few choices he does have 😔

I do think Jamil would be happier away from Kalim for some time, finally allowed to enjoy solitude and doing whatever he wants to. Kalim would be sad about this, but then again who wouldn’t be sad to lose someone you consider your friend since childhood? That ability to let go is also something he has to learn for himself, and I feel that’s going to be a component to Kalim’s future character development.

Kalim has been doing his part to keep a distance from Jamil and develop his own agency and sense of awareness (at least in the main story; the events and vignettes are kinda screwy timeline-wise). Jamil’s working on getting over his own ego and learning how to use his own traits as strengths rather than wallowing about what he doesn’t have or looking down on others. They’re trying to improve themselves independently of one another, and I think that’s beneficial for them both.

I would personally label the Scarabia duo’s dynamic as a toxic one, but it’s not “toxic” in the way we typically think of. Often when we see “toxic”, we think of someone who is malicious and intentionally so. In Kalim and Jamil’s case, Kalim isn’t purposefully mistreating Jamil, but their circumstances are such that Kalim existing hurts him and starves Jamil of freedom. This causes Jamil to lash out (which is more closely aligned with what most would perceive as “toxic”)—but, in a way, many can understand and sympathize with Jamil’s actions. It’s like a never-ending cycle of hate 😔

I do find their dynamic (Kalim being a big ol’ gullible ball of sunshine, Jamil hovering and nagging him for being silly) entertaining on a surface level. However, it’s really stressful for me to observe them for prolonged periods of time knowing the family history keeping them in these arbitrary roles 💦 It’s quite interesting to look at their conflict on a larger scale rather than an individual one; it’s a problem with society and systems they can’t necessarily fix on their own, but when the question arises as to whether they can work together to tear down those expectations, Jamil’s pride and negative feelings for Kalim pose a roadblock.

[danieyells]

I don't know if you've done it yet but I would like to request Ren lines? I'm having tokyo debunker Ren brainrot bro 😭.

@otomelover23

You're all very welcome! I love you guys too, so far! Sorry you've been deprived of lazy boi lolol HOPEFULLY THESE SATISFY YOU A LITTLE BIT.

He's a little tsundere I think. He's one of those characters who just wants to be normal but he can't just pretend to be normal because he lives surrounded by chaos so he just complains a lot lolol. . .but i think he's a good guy. Aside from that he does not help his mother captain at all.

Default(no affinity):

"If you're just gonna stand there, could you go feed the animals in the aquatic zone? I'm too busy."

"Ugh, why is that clown calling me... ... Whatever, I'll just let it ring out."

you know damn well that if you don't answer the phone you're gonna have to deal with Haru in person. Better to just answer it.

Affinity 1:

"Ugh... Tell me how I'm supposed to sit through classes when I've been up since 4 AM? (yawn) I'm exhausted..."

well if you didn't stay up until 4am--oh who am i kidding i stayed up til like 3 watching a stream and reading datamine stuff and then I got up at like 6:30 to get ready for work I'm no better kekw.

Affinity 2:

"Ugh... I can't believe I'm hiding right now... Why the hell does that clown have to chase me around at lunch time too?"

Affinity 3:

"Preach about doing it for the sake of your friends or the animals or whatever all you want— I really don't give a shit. People who say that stuff are just deluding themselves."

i've known people with this kind of cynicism before. once he finds people care about him he'll come around a little more.

Affinity 5:

"I'm grinding this game on my phone, so could you not talk to me for a while? Crap, I think my RSI is flaring up..."

in Japanese he specifies tendonitis haha

Affinity 6:

"Don't people get embarrassed calling out those words when they use their stigmas? It makes them look like LARPers..."

in japanese he says they sound like they have chuunibyou which is much funnier imo lmao. also i guess that means he can say his in his head? since he'd feel embarrassed doing it aloud.

Affinity 7:

"You think I sigh a lot? Got a problem with that? You realize trying to take away people's freedom of speech is power harrassment, right?"

you're starting to sound like ritsu. gonna hurt yourself reaching like that.

Affinity 8:

"I'm so done... I'm out of HP... Shouldn't I be exempt from missions and classes since I'm looking after all those animals?"

well based on something Haku says in a chat that hasn't come out yet, you can just do missions if you don't go to class, and based on Kaito you can just go to class instead of doing missions. . .but I'm sure Haru forces him on missions anyway lol. . . .

Affinity 9:

"Pfft... The video of that clown getting attacked by that hawk thing is getting so many interacts. This editing thing's actually pretty fun."

does editing count as a creative effort? i wouldn't be surprised if he switched to Hotarubi next year if so, assuming he doesn't get used to Jabberwock and the animals.

Affinity 10:

"Gotta change the locks so that clown can't get in again. I've bought enough padlocks to start my own business by now..."

life haru finds a way. sometimes that way is "towa, break down the door" if he runs out of lockpicking equipment.

Affinity 11:

"My head's killing me... This is the worst... Rise and shine! my ass... It's basically still the middle of the night. Guess I should padlock my windows..."

fun fact, you can get this one between 5am and 11am. 5-6am I can understand being 'basically the middle of the night' but after that you're pushing it lmao

Affinity 12:

"The cafeteria's way over capacity... The assholes who save seats before its even noon are ruining it for everyone else..."

Affinity 13:

"Why's my pay so low... huh? What's this deduction for? "Consultation Fee: Ritsu Shinjo..." He's seriously charging me for complaining...?"

Ritsu charges for looking at him too long. i'd try venting on wickchat over complaining to Ritsu.

Affinity 14:

"That rabbit sure has it good. All it has to do is breathe and everyone fawns over it. Doesn't even have to feed itself. Just wait till it grows up and learns what the world's really like."

WELL BASED ON THAT THE ADULT PEEKABOO WAS STILL BEING FAWNED OVER AND HARU HAD TO STOP PEOPLE FROM PETTING IT BECAUSE IT BITES. . .IT'LL PROBABLY STILL HAVE IT GOOD. Haru takes good care of the animals.

Affinity 15:

"Sup... Huh? I'm alone today. I just got up on my own since if I don't that clown'll wake me up anyway."

yeah? it's because of haru? not because of your affinity with the pc being more than half so you wanna be up earlier to spend more time with them? sure.

Affinity 17:

"No, I'm not going to sleep yet. I'm gonna watch a horror B-movie. You don't have to think, so they're the perfect thing to watch before bed."

i used to watch/listen to mts3k to go to sleep so. i feel this.

Affinity 18:

"Well done me for surviving another day... Oh, same to you too, {PC}. I don't how you can do this stuff voluntarily."

SOME PEOPLE JUST LIKE ANIMALS DAWG.

Affinity 19:

"Huh? I'm going to the campus store to buy some stuff, where are you going? Well, I'm going that way, so...bye."

not sure if shy or asocial lmao. could be both!

Affinity 20:

"You're being forced to help out again? Wow, a doormat out in the wild. So? Where do you want me to carry all this food?"

Affinity 21:

"This? It's a video I uploaded. People seem really into it. It's of that clown getting chased by a dog and flailing around like one of those inflatable air dancers."

Affinity 22:

"What am I doing today? Working at the diner. Oh, if you want to keep me company, feel free to come by. As long as you serve yourself."

it's not a date or anything since he's at work but like. . .he is inviting you to hang out. . . .

Affinity 23:

"Huh? You were waiting for me to get off work? Oh... Thanks. Wait, that clown put you up to this?! I'm gonna kill him..."

NO NO WE CAME HERE WILLINGLY probably. although it does seem like Haru to be like "oh hey Ren really really likes you, you should go pick him up from work! he'd love that!!" like a real nosy mom who's trying to get his son together with his crush.

Affinity 24:

"When did it get this late? That was horrifyingly fast... I'll walk part of the way back with you. I was gonna go buy something to drink anyway..."

excuses, excuses. . . .

Affinity 25(max):

"Every day here is a fresh hell, sure, but... You're suffering through it with me, so I guess I'll stick it out a little longer..."

'this sucks but you make it suck a little(a lot) less so i can keep going'. yep, that's our tsundere alright!

Spring:

"That clown's even more slap-happy than usual lately—it's horrible. Has he got spring fever or something?"

"Towa keeps trying to make me drink some kind of rice porridge with weird flowers in it... It's actual porridge harassment."

considering the flower Towa associates with Ren is poisonous, i think it's safe to assume he is literally trying to poison him to death lmao. also wtf is porridge harassment--i even tried looking it up in japanese and the first thing that came up was someone screenshotting it and saying "what is porridge harassment" lolol

"All this farm labor's bad enough without all the caterpillars and weird plants that are out there now...This is harassment."

what's harassing you, nature? as someone who just had to kill a huge mosquito that came into my room, nature is harassing me too.

"I hate cherry blossoms. They're like the flower version of being a legacy kid— all they have to do is bloom once a year and everyone claps."

in japanese what he says is something like 'i hate them just like people born with silver spoons in their mouths'. basically he hates people born into privilege lol i bet he'd have the potential to get along well with haku until he learns he'll be inheriting a shrine. . . .

Summer:

"This is the worst... It's not even noon yet, how is it so hot? Summer is for extroverts and party animals, I wish it could just be over already..."

"A group trip to the beach? I'd rather die. No decent person would ever go there of their own free will."

butbutbut. think of the summer skins!!!

"Summer was our busy period back home, so I always had to kill myself helping out. Now I'm here though... nothing's changed."

"How can the A/C be banned in the dorm...? Who gives a shit what temperature some anomalous animal that sneaks in prefers, humans should come first..."

okay i agree with him here though what the fuck kind of rule is that. can we talk to hyde about that, that's insane haru.

Autumn:

"Now it's getting colder, I nearly found myself feeling grateful for this tragic jumpsuit... Am I being brainwashed...?"

"Fall, the season of the harvest—I'll stick with cup noodles, thanks. "Fall, the season to enjoy the outdoors"—screw that. I'm gonna make it the season of naps."

"Look—I got bitten by some weird bug anomaly. To hell with the stupid bug spray ban, I'm buying some."

"I feel like the mountains are rowdier when there's a full moon. Pretty sure my enemy encounter rate goes up when I'm on patrol too... Maybe I'm just imagining it."

Winter:

"Since the climate in Jabberwock's so messed up, sometimes it's actually warm in winter. The blizzards are way stronger though..."

have you tried pissing towa off less?

"Oh god, I just saw what's in the diner's new Mystery Hot Pot... It's gotta be a matter of time before this place goes bust..."

i mean if they had ordinary health inspectors maybe lolol

"That clown broke my window so my room's like a freezer... Oh, don't worry. I just took his room instead."

His birthday:

"You got this for me? That clown's been spreading my personal info around... No, it's fine, I'll still take it. Thanks."

i guess he doesn't really tell people his birthday, huh.

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday, {PC}. ...Isn't it kind of rude to look so surprised I'd celebrate your birthday? That came from the heart, you know."

I MEAN YOU NORMALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. . .it's happy surprise!!!

New Years:

"Happy New Year. My resolution? Escaping the hell hole that is Jabberwock, for starters."

well you got here in like September or something so. you've got a while befor eyou can switch houses lmao but you can do it this year!

Valentine's Day:

"You got me chocolates? You're the type who does all this kind of stuff, huh? No, it's fine, you went to the trouble and everything so I'll take them."

i love when characters kinda mock you for doing getting them something but then they're like "nonono i want it gimme--" lolol from Ren especially it's very tsundere. poor guy wouldn't be straightforward about his feelings unless a damn life was on the line.

White Day:

"{PC}... Here, if you want them. I just bought the first thing I saw, so don't read into it..."

i bet it's actually really nice lolol

April Fool's Day:

"Guess what? I got special permission to switch houses. That nightmare is now behind me! I wish..."

Halloween:

"I hope everyone who gets excited about Halloween lives in misery for the rest of their lives. Why the hell do I have to help out with this stupid themed tour?"

Christmas:

"Can I ask you a question, {PC}? You don't still believe in Santa Claus, do you? Never mind, it doesn't matter. Have a good Christmas."

i mean. . .after coming here santa is a plausible entity to believe in. . .if there's gonna be a santa i don't wanna be caught not believing and missing out on gifts. . . .

Idle:

"Pfft... This edit's awesome. I'm a genius. I'll show {PC} when she gets back."

true bonding is sharing the funny memes you worked hard on. . . .

Absent:

"It's not like I was waiting for you or anything. It's just this hell hole is even more unbearable when you're not around..."

YEP THAT'S OUR UNFORTUNATE CUSTOMER SERVICE EMPLOYEE TSUNDERE ALRIGHT. His lines don't really get super affectionate but. They still have a charm to them when you realize how much he hides his feelings in the usual tsundere way. He likes you a lot but like. . .it's a bother and it's embarrassing. . .and what're the chances you're into him? He'll just invite you over to watch movies and play games with him and stuff. . .and tell himself it's fine to just be friends until it eats away at him. . .or until Haru spills the beans for him--

this took way too long because i got distracted like three times in the middle and my laptop started freaking out and i had to figure out why and close and reopen everything about 8 times hahaha. . . . OKAY TIME FOR ME TO GO TO BED! I hope this satisfies you a little bit!!

[enhastolemyheart]

𝘕𝘖𝘛 𝘛𝘖𝘖 𝘓𝘈𝘛𝘌 — NISHIMURA RIKI

pairing | best friend brother!niki x fem!reader

genre | fluff, kind of strangers to lovers, summer au (again)

synopsis | niki finally doing something about his undying love for you.

word count | 1.1k+

warnings | one kiss, swearing, teasing, mention of food, proofread but lmk if any mistakes, niki's sister name is Zuha but it's not the idol, Niki is a year older

a/n | it's here!! I'm really sorry for taking so long to do it, i jus got really really busy with school. I hope the 💍anon likes it! (lmk that you've read it!) thank you v much for requesting!! as always, requests and taglist is open! feel free to share anything if you'd like!! Enjoy reading!! THIS IS REQUESTED.

Gosh, why the fuck is she so cute and pretty?!

You probably won't believe it but, that was what was going on inside Niki's head when you walked into their house. His sister, only a year younger, invited you to a sleepover because your finals had just ended and you were free to spend some time together. 

He couldn't help but ogle at you when you took off your shoes and walked inside to the kitchen, zuha offering you chocolate milk. 

"Bro, can you not stare at her like that? You're going to creep her out." The voice of Niki's best friend, Jungwon hissed. "Focus on the game man, we're losing against the other team, and you know how much I hate losing."

Jungwon's words came out very incoherent to Niki. His focus was solely on you, the way you were sipping onto the chocolate-y delight. Smile slapped onto your face as you and his sister gossiped about stuff. His heart melted on the spot when you pushed unwanted hair behind your ear. It was like his ears reddened. When you and zuha head to her room to spend the rest of the time there, his heart skips a beat when you glance at him, waving a small 'hi' and making your way to zuha's room at her call. 

Once you're out of his sight, Niki clutches at his heart and groans at how fast you made his heart beat, lip subconsciously making its way between his teeth. You both have never really interacted, the only reason was because both of you were shy and Niki thought it wasn't right to become friends with a person who's close to her sister. But, it's not like he's breaking a rule or something, right?

. . .

It was now dinner time, Jungwon and you were sleeping over at your friends' house. Niki's mother had prepared sushi and some other meals for the night. She has asked niki to set the table up, but you had insisted that you'd help. 

While grabbing the required cups for water, you were aware of the glances that Niki would steal whenever you both brush past each other to make your way around the kitchen. He also helped you carry the plates when he saw you struggling, you would feel tingles all over your body when his hands brushed against yours, tips of the ears going red. He cleared his throat as to come out of the daze you had unintentionally put him in. 

While eating, you both sat opposite to each other. It just happened to be that you were opposite to each other and Niki couldn’t help but feel giddy about the littlest interaction you had. 

"So, how was your finals? I assume everyone did well," Zuha's mother squints her eyes at Niki as she says so, breaking the the silence that had erupted in the room. The tiny, soft chuckle that escapes your lips causes Niki's face of suspicion to turn soft at the sight of you. 

“I did them very well,” Zuha answers, “I’m sure that I’ll get a good score this time.” Her mother let out a proud smile at her words before turning to you, “well, how did you do Y/n?” You stop midway of a bite before smiling sheepishly, “I did pretty good Mrs. Nishimura. I expect a good score as well,” she smiles softly before patting your head and turning to the boys to ask them.

. . .

You being you, help niki out with the dishes as his mother said doing the dishes after dinner is Niki’s job. He lets me lay off and take an early rest. Who knew Niki is such a good son? You are aware that you don’t interact with him often but when you do, your heart flutters at how respectful and nice he is. Despite all the good things, Niki can also seem to naughty and mischevious. You had occasionally witnessed him getting in small trouble around campus, you couldn’t help but think how silly and cute of a person he is.

Ever since last summer, when you had visited Zuha’s house often, you would often go to her house with the desire to talk to Niki (but also hang out with Zuha ofc!). After this summer, the way he had changed— glowed up for that matter —only made your infatuation for him grow into a full blown out crush. You were too scared to talk to him considering he is a year older and he kind of intimidated you, but now you have become more mature and gave yourself a word that you would talk to him before it’s too late. 

"so, any plans for summer?" You break the silence that has taken over the room.

Niki was drying his hands after washing them after cleaning the last utensil of the night, "um, not really. I do plan casual plans like going to the mall or the movies with boys but nothing big you know?"

"yeah I get it." You nod.

"What about you?" He moves closer to you. way too close. "What are your plans for the summer?"

"Uhm well," you mentally sigh, eyes closing at your stammer, "I am going to Busan to visit my grandparents in a month so, I guess that's fun."

"have fun y/n," He moves even closer, trapping you between the counter and himself "are you by any chance, free tomorrow?" You have no idea why he's acting like this. Since when did he get flirty? You’re glad that it's only you both in the space of the kitchen right now. Zuha and Jungwon are up in Niki's room watching a movie, on a projector screen that Niki had recently purchased. 

"Uhm yeah, it's summer so I’m free," the way your voice was low and soft. Like it was some sort of sweet melody that Niki could listen to for a lifetime. your eyes look into his when you hear a low chuckle emerge on his side. 

"Alright then, will you, Y/n who I've liked forever since middle school, go out with me?"

A big smile makes its way to your lips, he notices the way your eyes sparkle, you nod softly before the gesture becomes more prominent. This causes Niki to smile, "wait, really?"

"yes." 

And that's all you say before subtly placing your hand on his shoulder, going on your tippy toes to give him a kiss. The kiss however is short-lived, purposely so you can make him want for more. And he's definitely wanting more. But, he doesn't get any, furrowing his brows he opens his eyes to see you smiling giddy-ly before slapping him lightly on the chest and escaping from his hold. 

And Niki just stands there, a low chuckle eliciting, thinking how he was not too late.

a/n | thank you sm for reading!! again, reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!! And I'll see you in the next one!

perm taglist: @jak-ey , @snoowhore , @hsheart , @hsgwrld (bold can't be tagged; send an ask to be added)

© ENHASTOLEMYHEART ON TUMBLR, 2023 — do not translate, copy, modify, or repost any of my works as your own in any platform or form of use.

[teyamsatan]

Illicit Affairs | Chapter X: Invisible String

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX

Synopsis: Back from the dead, you have to heal in order to be able to move on and be forever part of the people. You and Neteyam finally find each other, giving in to desires you've both had for years.

Warnings: SMUT (18+ minors DNI!!!), some angst, fluff, all the feels, so many feels, the end

Word Count: 14,7k words (i need to be stopped)

A/N: The last chapter of Ilicit Affairs is finally here!! It took me a lot longer than I thought to finish this, but that's because this chapter is longer than my first like 5 chapters combined. I don't know what happened hahahah. I'm so excited to share this with you, the conclusion and culmination of this whole story. I hope you find it a satisfying pay-off, and I'd love to hear allll of your thoughts. Honestly, replies and asks make my life and I cry a little bit every time someone interacts with my content. I hope you have enjoyed this journey, and make sure you read til the end for a (hopefully pleasant) surprise ;)

As always, thank you to everyone who asked to be tagged, I love you all sm!! Ok enjoy byeee x

“Isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me? A string that pulled me out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons One single thread of gold tied me to you”

Neteyam stood in the room that he knew so well now, he had memorised its cracks in the white walls, and he was holding your hand, slowly tracing the now-fading yellow bruises along your arm. He looked at the tube that was going into the nook of your elbow and followed his eyes along it, until it reached a little clear pouch with a liquid that was dripping slowly all the way into your body. You were talking animatedly with Kiri, Norm and Max, looking over a bunch of plants displayed on a table in front you. It was incredible to see you, you looked like a completely different person than you were a few days ago. As soon as you woke up, you asked for the treatment you worked on and got working, and your symptoms improved massively. You were still sick, and the virus was still there, not to mention the damage it had already done couldn’t be reversed, it had to be treated on day at a time. Norm said your lungs were getting better and your heart was too, but your kidneys, he thought they were called, still not cleared your blood properly, so you were still stuck in bed with a big tube coming out of your neck where it removed your blood and another tube where it returned it back to your body. Neteyam did not understand how any of this worked, but whatever science it took, he was grateful for. He did not leave your sight in this time, refusing to be parted with you for even more than a few minutes at a time. Jake helped Max and Norm bring in an extra large bed, like the ones made for Avatars and add it to the room next to your own bed, and he slept there, reaching over to hold you hand at all times. 

There was so much between you that was still unsolved, still eating at his insides, but he did not want to overwhelm you or pain you in any way while in this state, so he was satisfied to just be near you and listen to your heavy breathing while you slept, and be comforted by the sound of the ECG machine letting him know you were still there, that your heart was still beating and it wasn’t stopping anytime soon. 

“Ok, I think we need to start with how will we extract the proteins from these plants. I’ve not done protein extraction on plants, but I assume we can do some sort of chloroform or methanol precipitation? You and Grace used to work with plants a lot more than Max or I, so I think you would be the best at figuring it this out, no?” Neteyam looked at you with wide eyes, so perpetually impressed with your intelligence and drive, with how good you seemed to be at tackling any challenge. You were barely breathing properly, but here you were, trying to find a cure for this illness that almost took your life. The first full sentence you said after coming back to life was to Kiri, and he was a little jealous, but overall incredibly proud of you and your strength that felt like it could move mountains if you put all your might into it. Knowing you, he was sure this virus will be dead meat soon.

“Right, I can take care of the protein extraction, you can then run mass spectrometry on it and see what we’re working with. It’s going to be a lot of work, are you sure you don’t want us to take care of it? Until we figure out exactly which active ingredient in which one of these plants gets results, it’s nonstop. I don’t think you’re ready to be back to work yet.” 

“I can’t sit back and do nothing. We’ll see how I feel, worst case scenario I do all the analysis from the comfort of this bed, deal?” 

Norm was happy to hear that you weren’t being stubborn for once. Whatever happened to you when you died, you definitely seemed changed. As if death brought forth epiphanies that made you want to live, to heal. Neteyam was definitely not complaining. 

After a while, everyone cleared, and you and Neteyam were left by yourselves. You turned around to watch him, giving him a little grin. 

“You know you don’t have to stay here every minute of the day, right?”

“I disagree.” 

You laughed heartily, your breath getting caught in your throat when the action made your lungs hurt, and the laughter turned to wincing, much to Neteyam’s dismay. Eventually, the wincing turned to sighing, and you didn’t look at him as you spoke again.

“Shouldn’t you be with your mate?”

It was his turn to wince, and he realised you probably couldn’t avoid talking about your issues forever. 

“Do you really want to talk about this right now?”

“Neteyam… I won’t be the other woman. And I’m also not going to be the woman who steals a man from another, or who endorses whatever the hell this is. I need to make sure you are serious about this, about us. I might still not make the consciousness transfer. I need you to think about this, and if you do and you decide that it is me after all, then you need to talk to her. She deserves that, she deserves better than what she’s been getting. And I don’t want to be part of this until I know she is not being deceived or led on.”

“You are right. I will talk to her today, alright? But I’m not leaving you right now.” 

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

You could feel yourself getting stronger by the day. It was a struggle still, your lungs feeling like they were going to explode any time you took a deep breath in and your heart oscillating between going a million miles a minute to barely functioning in the span of a day, but you were getting there. The combination treatment was definitely doing its job, and your body was no longer on the brink of collapse. Some colour returned to your cheeks in time, and since you have been eating about 15 meals a day because of how worried everyone was, you were gaining weight back, which was further increasing your day-to-day quality of life. You got a lot of sleep in the last few days, probably more combined than in the past few months, and you felt rested, for the first time in a really long time. 

The first two days were the hardest, your body reeling from withdrawal on top of everything else you were experiencing. But you were feeling good today, and were trying to remain optimistic so as to not fall into old patterns. Having Neteyam next to you helped, your light in all the darkness, he refused to leave your sight, even in the face of more pressing matters.

The humans were closing in, you were told. The ships will be landing any day now, which only contributed to your slow recovery, as the anxiety was manifesting itself physically and hurting your progress. You felt stressed at the situation and more so at the thought that Neteyam wasn’t there, in the meetings and in practice, missing it all so he could stay with you. You hated it, worrying constantly and he wouldn’t hear it. 

“It’s only a couple of days, Atan. Stop worrying.” 

Today was the day they were going to remove the dialysis machine, which you were extremely excited about. You felt the need to walk, to stretch out your legs, to be back in the lab. You had a lot to do, a lot you had riding on this. You were trying not to think too hard on how you were doing everything in your power to further procrastinate healing, knowing that at some point you were going to have to deal with the trauma head on and open that damned drawer, that held all of your darkest memories, all of the things you spent your whole life pushing away. If you were going to be ready to heal, ready to move on, you had to do so with a clear conscience and a clean slate. You were adamant that you were going to find the cure for the virus and use it on yourself before you made a decision about the consciousness transfer. You had to be 100% sure of your choice, of your decision to leave this life behind forever, and you couldn’t do that if you viewed it as an escape from your current weak and disease-ridden body.

It took a while to be disconnected to the machine and get the tube out of your neck. From now on til you decide whether to go through with the transfer, you will have to do this for a few hours a day, which was a pain, but better than being bed ridden all day. 

You put your feet on the ground for the first time in days, and you forced yourself to stand slowly, and quickly realised it was a bad idea, and your knees immediately buckled under you. Neteyam caught you with both his hands under your arms, and effortlessly raised you until your feet were a few inches above ground. 

“Put me down! This is so embarrassing.” You groaned at your own impairment, and refused to give up, slowly starting to walk with shaky feeble steps. You felt both Norm and Neteyam hover over you, and although you were grateful for them, you wanted to scream at how upsetting it was making you having to be looked after like you were a baby taking her first steps. You guess, in some ways, you were. 

You eventually got to your room, which looked untouched, if a little dusty. You were happy to see it again, happy to take it all in. It was a bit surreal, the whole experience. You didn’t realise how much it was all going to matter, all the little things, until you were dead on a hospital bed, begging Eywa for another chance. Every wall, every creak on the floor, every book, it all hit you suddenly, and you had to sit down on the ground, your back against the bed frame, so as to not collapse under the weight of this whole endeavour. 

“Atan, are you alright?” Neteyam’s voice was laced with concern, and you tried to stop panting long enough to answer him.

“I’m fine, it’s just a lot.” 

He slowly sat down next to you, struggling to squeeze in the tight space between the bed and the desk. His knee was brushing up against the side of the thigh, and you felt heat spread from the touch through your entire body. He gently raised one hand to the side of your face, removing strands of hair that were falling on it and tucking them behind your ear. 

“Talk to me, Atan. I want to know, I want to help.”

You felt tears pool in your eyes, and you couldn’t look at him, couldn’t look anywhere but the ground as the words got lodged in your throat. This was going to be much harder than you thought. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Neteyam. I’m sorry that I almost died, that I did die, and that you had to witness it. I’m sorry for not telling you, I am sorry for not fighting harder, I am sorry for so many things.” Hot tears were falling on your arm laying in your lap and you struggled to find the words to speak. “I am still so mad at you, so mad that you left, so mad that you lied, so mad that you never told me how you felt about me, so mad about so many things,  but I shouldn’t have kept this from you. We’ve been inseparable since birth, and no matter what happened, you deserved to know, you all deserved to know. You deserved to say goodbye. I am sorry I took that from you.” 

You were both crying now, and he picked you up and placed in his lap with little visible effort, it was probably easier for him than carrying Tuk. You wrapped your arms around his neck and slid your legs around him to wrap around his back and you stood there, crying in the crook of his neck while he held you tightly, trying not to hurt you.

“I am sorry for leaving. Sorry for not talking to you about how I felt, sorry about giving up on you. I should have stayed and helped you heal, I should have been there for you to rely on instead of being yet another thing you had to deal with in this life. I am sorry about lying about Tiongli, I am sorry for not telling them all no from the beginning. Even without the Avatar, there was only one woman in this whole world I would ever belong to, and I would have been happy spending my whole life in this lab, if it meant doing it with you. I was scared, and I am sorry.” 

He removed your head slowly from the crook of his neck, and grasped the side of you face with one of his hands, thumb trailing over your lips, tracing them from your cupid’s bow to your lower lips, and you shuddered at the touch, deep desire pooling within you. 

“I love you so much. I have loved you my whole life, from the moment I was born, and I will love you until the moment I die. I am so sorry it took me so long to grow, but I am ready now. Whatever it is, I will brave it with you, and for you. You will never have to do this alone again.” 

You were sobbing now, unmoored at his confession that you have waited for your entire life. You were so overwhelmed by the love and affection you felt for this man, for the appreciation of knowing he was willing to hear the deepest, darkest parts of your soul and share in that pain willingly.

“I love you too. I missed you so much.”  

After crying it out on the crook of his neck, letting your human hands caress the soft blue skin of his back and chest while he held you, fingers running up and down your spine in a comforting motion, you eventually got up from his lap slowly, and crawled on all your fours to your messy old desk. You took a key that was taped to the underside of your chair, and, with a deep sigh and tired eyes, unlocked the bottom drawer of the desk. You took out just one thing. A bracelet. You smiled at the sight, and tightened it around your arm multiple times so it fit on your human form. You looked at Neteyam coyly, giving him a soft smile, and you saw his hand reaching for his own bracelet, with a gummy smile and tears in his eyes. 

Maybe you could do this after all. 

You eventually started working in the lab again, being a lot more careful about striking a balance between work and everything else in your life. You were still struggling to sleep, especially now that Norm and Max flushed every pill you had down the toilet, but you were trying your best. The best was when Neteyam slept over, and you just fell asleep flush against his bare body, whose warmth melted away all your nightmares and replaced them with much better, much lewder ones. You weren’t getting anywhere with your research, as Kiri found a lot of plants in the forest, and to do mass spectrometry and proteomics on so many proteins, and analysing them all was an impossible task in the time you had left. So in an afternoon, as you were hanging out with her, Lo’ak, Spider and Neteyam in the hub, guitar strumming in your hands, you had a lightbulb moment.

“Kiri, if you had to save one plant, just one on this whole planet, which one would it be?” Kiri was special. Whenever the rest of the kids argued over her heritage, making crude jokes about Grace and Norm, trying to figure out who her dad is, you always had a different hypothesis, that you never said out loud. Kiri was Eywa’s child, as much as Grace’s. She was the key to everything. Eywa was flowing through her, guiding her, and you believed she had a lot more up her sleeve than any of you knew, than even she knew. 

“Hmmm, that is a hard question.” She looked deep in thought for a long time, and eventually it’s like a huge epiphany was released from her mind. “Pamtseowll!!”

“The Cat Ear plant? Are you sure?” 

“I think so! I don’t know why that one, but that’s the only thing that came to mind, and when I thought about it, I just knew it was the right one! Why do you ask?”

You raised from the ground, placed the guitar on a bench next to you, and ran (more like walked at slightly increased velocity than normal) to her, kissing her forehead in a loud smooch. 

“I’ll let you know!! Wait here!!” 

You talked to Norm, telling him your hunch and asking him to treat a vial of the infected blood with the liquid extracted from the plant in question, that you already had in stock thanks to Kiri. It would take a while, but you were buzzing in excitement, feeling extremely positively about your idea and your new odds. You made it back to the hub where they were all waiting for you, and sat back on the ground, mischievously ignoring their curious glares. 

“Are you going to tell us what this was all about?” Spider said, rolling your eyes at your antics. 

“Nope.” 

They eventually dropped it, and you sat together, talking about everything and nothing, trying to ignore the looming doom of the ships slowly making their way to Pandora’s atmosphere, and the deadly consequences that would follow them.

You picked up the guitar again, deep in thought. Before you could help yourself, you found yourself speaking.

“I saw my mum.”

Everybody stopped and stared at you in shock. None of them said anything, and you swore you could hear a hairpin drop for sure in this big hall, or your heart pounding in your ears. 

“When I died…” you started cautiously, not even knowing why you started talking in the first place, but knowing it was too late to back off now. “…I woke up in this new place I have never seen before. Eventually, I realised I was on Earth, in my mum’s childhood home. There were pictures of her on the wall, with her parents, she looked young, and happy… and alive.” 

“Her house overlooked the ocean, and I went and sat on the beach and she came. Like it was nothing, she just came to me, and sat me down, and watched me cry on her shoulder until I thought I was running out of tears.”

This bit was easy enough to speak about, now came the real problem. You swallowed the big lump in your throat and continued. “She told me she did the same things I did. That she had been sad, so very sad, ever since my father died, the kind of sad that never goes away, the kind of sad I am.” You couldn’t look at them, preferring the look of your guitar that you were holding on to dear life as you spoke, and saw small tears crashing into the strings, splattering everywhere. “She said she didn’t try… to stay alive, to heal. Just like I didn’t. She said she had a choice, and she chose to die, because the hurt was too much for her to bear. She left me, orphaned me, put me through so much pain I’m still dealing with a decade later.”

You heard small gasps and sharp breath intakes and the new information, but couldn’t stop to acknowledge it, needing it out of your soul as soon as possible. “I was so hurt, so mad at her. That she left, that she didn’t fight harder to be in my life, that she left me with so many scars because of her selfishness. And then it dawned on me… that was me. I did that to you. To all of you. And I am sorry. I am so sorry.” 

They all slowly sat up from where they sat and gathered around you in a circle, and hugged you. 

“We forgive you. We’re just happy you’re still here. We love you, we want you to know that you’ll always be able to talk to us. You’ll always have us. We’re a family. Sullys stick together.” 

You felt each of these words deep within you, the forgiveness something you craved like air, and you realised how much it must have meant to your mum. You were happy you could do that for her. You were happy something good came out of all the misery. 

Later that day, all the Sully kids left, and you went to your room, carrying your guitar in your hands, and found yourself again, sitting on the ground, reaching for the bottom drawer key and unlocking it with shaky hands and muffled cries. It was time. You reached inside it for a photo album, with old school printed photos on it, and opened it. Your heart was hurting so badly you needed to place your hand on your hand to try to settle it, settle the pain and agony you felt. The first photo was a photo of you and your mum in the medical ward, holding you tightly against her chest, looking really tired with the caption “you had just been born a couple hours ago, how crazy is that?”. The second one -  a photo of you, as a tiny baby, only a few days old by the scribbling on it. Countless photos of you, in various stages of growth, in various positions, all captioned by your mother, who loved you more than anything else in this world and whose love was loud and clear in every one of these images. The tears kept falling off the laminated pages and onto your legs, and your anguished cries took over the music playing in the background. An image of you and Neteyam, in a crib, his body much larger than yours even as tiny infants, but you were holding hands, sleeping peacefully next to each other. An image of your mum with Neytiri and Jake, smiling widely for the camera. A photo of your mum in her Avatar body with all the Sully kids, her holding Tuk in her arms when she was just born. An image of her in the lab, mid laugh with a pipette gun in her hand - no one would ever have been able to tell how much hurt she was hiding underneath, how close she was to death. Finally, an image of her and your dad, taken by your dad, of them looking into each other’s eyes lovingly. The caption, blurred and blotched from dried tear stains, read “the love of my life, the light in all the darkness”. You closed the album panting, and brought it close to your heart, just holding on to it while you cried. 

You were spent by the end, but wanted to push through, needing to get this done all in one go. You removed another thing from the drawer, a camera, the gift Jake have you for your birthday. You eventually sat on your desk chair, and plugged it into your laptop. You clicked on the only file on it, and gasped at your mum’s face appearing on the screen, smiling while adjusting the camera to centre her face. She started speaking, and you clung to every word, making sure her voice and words will forever be imprinted on your mind.

“My child,

I know it’s been a while since you have since my face.” she says with a small laugh. 

“I’m making this tape for your 18th birthday, as this should be around the time when your Avatar is ready for you to use. I gave Norm and the rest of them notes and doodles and research and I think they can do it, my love. I think they can build you the ramps new life, one amongst the Na’vi. I am so excited for you, you have no idea. 

Happy birthday, bunny. You will forever be the best and brightest thing I will have ever achieved. I am more sorry than you will ever know that I don’t get to see you grow up, see the beautiful, intelligent, caring and loving person you already are blossom into so much more, but I want you to know, more than anything, that I have no regrets. 

I have lived my life exactly the way I wanted to. I have explored new worlds, I have contributed something good to the world, I have lived and I have loved deeply and unconditionally. I just hope you do, too. I hope this world doesn’t break you, my love. I hope it doesn’t snuff out your light, because in that case, I will have failed you, and I am so sorry. 

I know you are sad, and I know you have probably been sad for a while, and I know this life is emotionally abusive, and it takes and takes and takes until there’s nothing left. But it’s also worth living. Because you can learn to take from it, too. You can learn to heal, and love and live, and replace whatever it took in time with even better fitted pieces. But in order to do that, you have to live, my love. 

Even at 10, you have a tendency to keep sadness in, and don’t let it out. That’s something you got from me, and I’m sorry for that. I love that you got my eyes, and my addiction to music and my love for science and literature, but baby, I don’t want you to be like me in every way. You also have a tendency to isolate, and that, you also got from me. I’m hoping that will change in time, I’m hoping Neteyam, and Spider, and Lo’ak and Kiri, and eventually Tuk will be able to break through and allow their light to shine on the dark walls of this lab. But if not, I’m hoping this Avatar will. 

I want you to know that it’s alright to hurt, and it’s alright to be scared and wonder if the path you’ve taken is the correct one. We all wonder through this life scared and confused and a little alone. But it’s up to us to want to make a change and it’s worth it, baby. I know opening yourself up to hurt is scary and hard, but it will also allow to love, to love fully and deeply, to give yourself to others and have them give themselves to you. There’s beauty in this world and this life, but you need to be brave to experience it. 

Your dad and I love you very much. Enjoy this Avatar, and enjoy all that it can bring to your life. You are the brightest light of my life, and now it’s time for you to become another’s.”

You replayed the video until you were so spent, your eyes were closing painfully from the tiredness and hurt and tears. After that, you went to your bed, still clinging to the photo album, and fell asleep, to a song you hoped one day you’ll be strong enough to play yourself, but for now had to settle for the original. 

I should've asked you questions, I should've asked you how to be Asked you to write it down for me, should've kept every grocery store receipt Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me Watched as you signed your name Marjorie All your closets of backlogged dreams, and how you left them all to me...

Norm came bursting through the door of your bedroom, waking you up in a panic. “What the fuck, Norm??”

“We did it.” He came to your bedroom and took you by the shoulders, shaking you. He screamed and jumped in the air.

“WE FUCKING DID IT, ACE!” 

You jumped from the bed onto your knees, so you were almost face to face.

“WHAT? ARE YOU FOR REAL?” 

“YES, OH MY GOD, YES!” 

You jumped on him and he caught you, and you just spun around in your tiny room, laughing and screaming at the beginning of your new life. 

Thank you, mum. For looking after me even after you’ve gone. Thank you.

You had to toil a bit with details, but by midday, you were ready to get the substance, now purified and diluted in appropriate medium for being inserted in a human body. You watched as Norm prepared, and held your breath as he injected it into your now healed veins. You didn’t know whether it would work, or how many doses you would need, this was all so new, it was kind of crazy you were willing to inject it in your body with so little information, but you trusted your mum, and you trusted Kiri, and you trusted Eywa. 

You felt good. So good, in fact, you knew exactly what you wanted to do. 

Neteyam was in the village, in a deep strategy meeting about how they were going to approach the upcoming threat looming over everybody. His mind was only half listening, the other half too busy with musings of you. What were you doing? Have you eaten? Did you take your treatment? He was worried about you after yesterday, and felt guilty he didn’t stick around for the night in case you needed him. He is pulled out of his train of thought when he hears a loud banshee scream, and everyone’s attention turns to the entrance of the tent, to which everyone rushes. When Neteyam makes his way outside, his mouth drops at the sight of you, beautiful and wild, free on top of your golden white ikran.

You were radiant, smiling widely at him while you removed your queue and your visors and brought your hand to your forehead and greeted everyone at the meeting. 

“Hey, kid.” The Sully patriarch came over and gave you a big hug, a conflicted look on his face. “Are you sure it’s ok for you to use your Avatar?” 

“We did it, Jake. We found the cure.”

His mother and father both gasped loudly at the news and hugged you tightly, and you held on to them with all your might, pouring all of your love and apologies into it. Neteyam was too stunned to say anything, pure bliss escaping his body in the form of silent tears, that he wiped immediately from his face - he was in a meeting with all the warriors, there couldn’t be tears. 

“I’m actually here to steal the future Olo’eyktan, if that’s ok with everyone. I will bring him back in one piece, I promise.”

“Fine, but don’t be too late. I don’t want to have to use the radio, am I making myself clear?”

“Yes, sir.” 

Neteyam saw you click your tongue towards where you were standing, and felt a ping of arousal at your sight, at your confident demeanour. You used to be such a wild girl before life got too much for you to bear. He hoped he’d get to see that in you again, just like he was now. His hands made their way to his mouth and formed a circle around it, and he screamed loudly for his ikran, which appeared quickly and landed next to yours. He connected the queue and both of you took flight at the same time. 

You flew like that for a while, and he was mystified at the experience. He has spent so much of his time riding with other people, flying as much a chore as a delight, but nothing that will ever be able to top this. You were screaming, fiercely and ferociously, doing barrel rolls in midair on your beautiful banshee, laughing loudly and urging her to almost bump into him, to which he gasped in mock annoyance and returned the favour. He followed you to the Hallelujah mountains, all the way to a cave on one of the floating rocks. It was beautiful, and he thought it would probably be breathtaking at night. You both landed, panting from the adventure, and made your ways to each other after petting your ikrans affectionately. 

His hands immediately found your face, holding you tightly to look deep into your eyes. Your eyes softened looking at him, and he could see himself in them, looking intense and troubled. 

“Did you really do it?” 

You raised you own hand and brushed an unwieldy braid from his face, gently tugging it behind his ear. He saw your tail swish enthusiastically. 

“We really did it.” 

Neteyam’s mouth immediately found yours, desperate for your touch, the feeling of relief washing over him and it was so intense this is the only way it could be manifested. He needed you, craved your touch, craved the closeness, craved to make up for all the time you two lost. You moaned into the kiss and deepened it, opening your mouth, inviting his tongue to meet yours and dance in the way that made you both weak in the knees. You put your hand on his chest and pushed him and it caught him off guard, because he tipped backwards and hit the ground with a painful thud. You smirked and raised an eyebrow, and he moaned at the sight. You immediately got on top of him, straddling his lap and pulling him by his chest piece until your lips met his again. Your hands went into his hair and his did the same, and you let out a wail when he pulled on it, making your head tilt backwards, giving him access to your neck that he attacked mercilessly, leaving trails of his presence all over you. You felt him, hard against your core that was dripping in arousal, and you thoughtlessly starting grinding against him, feeling your mind flooded with sensations you never wanted to let go of. 

“Neteyam, we can’t.” It hurt you saying these words, it was taking every ounce of self discipline you had, which at the moment was almost none. 

“Yes, we can. In fact, I think it would be irresponsible of us not to.” 

You laughed, smacking his chest playfully at his words. You brought your hand to his face and caressed it softly, and he closed his eyes in bliss. 

“I want to do this properly. I will be one of you soon, for the rest of my life. I want to do this your way. I want to be mated to you the Na’vi way. Then we can do whatever you want, however you want. Deal?” You raised an eyebrow at him, smiling mischievously.

“Only if you stop raising your eyebrow at me, otherwise I make no promises.” 

You laughed again, and laid next to him with your head on his chest, hoping this moment could last forever. 

“Hey, I have to do something, and it won’t be pleasant. I was going to go alone, but I’ve made a promise to not go about everything alone. So if your offer still stands, would you like to come with me?” 

You felt Neteyam’s hand stop caressing your hair like it had been for a while. He starts getting up, pushing your head off his chest slowly in the process. He looked serious, concerned, but he had a calming smile on, and when he took your hands in his and held them tightly, you knew you were gonna be ok. 

“Let’s go.” 

You got on your ikrans and flew back to the forest, feeling comforted by the knowledge he was there, next to you. You didn’t have to do this alone. You landed in the clearing next to the exo suit that belonged to you dad. Your heart was picking up pace from the sight, but it was time. It was time to work through it. 

You slid off Neyn’s back and made your way to the suit, running your hands over it to remove some of the vines and eventually reaching for the dash cam. It was probably long dead, but you had to try, especially after what your mum said. You fiddled with the screen for a while, and eventually, it turned on, making you jump out of your skin. 

In the view of the camera stood a man, tall and bald, wearing military clothing and reloading the guns that came with the suit. You’ve seen him before, in a photo in one of the jackets you found rummaging for clothes to wear. His name was Lyle Weinfleet. 

“Captain, I think if we go through this clearing, we should be closing in on the tree of souls in about 3 clicks.” 

“You’re right. But I don’t think we should do it.”

Lyle looked stunned, and he stopped whatever he was doing to turn around and look and your dad. “Barlowe, what are you talking about?” 

“This is wrong, Lyle. You know it, I know it, everyone here fucking knows it. And if you don’t, you’re even a bigger psychopath than I thought you were. We have to go back.”

“I’m not fucking going anywhere, Captain. These freaks are going to kill all of us if they get their way. Someone has to stop them.”

Your dad picked up his gun and pointed it at him. “Are you disobeying direct orders, lieutenant?” 

“You’re not my squad leader, Captain. And I have orders from above.” 

A fight ensued which eventually resulted in the destruction of both the exo suits. Your dad got out of the suit, and the last time the camera picked up was Weinfleet running at him with a knife. 

You lowered the screen and sat in silence for a long time. Neteyam’s hands were rubbing up and down your arms, and you felt his chest radiating heat on your back. You were happy to have him here, as the new influx of information was overwhelming enough to make you dizzy. Your dad didn’t attack on that fateful night 19 years ago. Everything you believed your entire life was false. 

“My dad was not a horrible person.” Neteyam said nothing and just stood by your side, allowing you to process everything at your own pace. 

“I hated him my whole life. I felt so much guilt at his actions, the murders I thought he committed plagued my mind for years and years. I was too scared to come to the village because I thought he was responsible for the decimation of your people.” 

“You came from him, you share his blood. There was no way he could have been that bad. Not with you as his daughter.” 

You scoffed lightly at his comment, but were so happy he was here. You took him by the hand and walked him to the body that was now only a pile of bones. You looked further in the clearing, and realised another set of bones was settled in the ground a few meters from your dad’s. Good, you thought. 

“I’d like to bury him, if that’s alright with you?” 

You gathered all the bones and walked to a tree whose roots were hanging partially above the ground, creating a little cove. Rays of light were hitting it, and you knew then it would be the perfect place. You placed his remains there, and gathered flowers and ornate twigs that had fallen on the ground, and decorated the little space as well as you could. 

“Thank you, dad.” You were comforted at the thought that, although he died on this foreign planet alone, he was loved, and now, he will be mourned. 

You made it back to the village together, walking and holding hands, trying to get your mind off all the epiphanies you have had to undergo in the past few days. Healing was hard work, you snickered to yourself. You made it to the tent you knew Jake and the rest of the warriors would be. 

“There you are. Was starting to get worried.”

“Ah, there’s nothing to be worried about, pops.” You laughed at Jake’s shocked expression and the way his eyes softened immediately as a response to your new nickname. 

He had to wipe that expression off his face. He was Olo’eyktan. He was Toruk Makto, this was not inspiring leadership. 

“Right. The humans will be here any day now. I think we will have to move our base of operations in the Hallelujah mountains, somewhere they can’t find us, where the flux is too strong for their equipment. It’s going to be a big ask, and a big adjustment, but it is necessary. You know the first place they will look is at the hub. And it won’t take long for them to find the village either.” 

What he was saying made sense, but it filled you with a sense of grief. This forest, that hub, those labs, this village, is all you’ve ever known. To have to leave it for an undetermined amount of time, maybe forever, was hurting your heart. You knew Neteyam felt the same, you knew they all felt the same. Jake was a marine, strong and adaptable, he was an incredible person to have around in a crisis. But he didn’t quite understand what it means to belong to only one place, to only know one reality that was going to be uprooted and taken from you. That takes time, time you didn’t have. 

“I think we should do the ceremony tonight. You have completed the Iknimaya, you are to be one of us now. It’s time, if you want it.” 

You peered up at him, in shock, but the beating of your heart was so loud because it was excited, it was happy. It’s time. You knew it in your heart it was right, this time. You belonged here. Your mum worked so hard for you to get to do this, she foresaw this 18 years ago. Your dad gave his life for yours, even without knowing it. You owed them this, owed them your life and this new one you were about to get.

“And tomorrow, we can do the transfer, if you are ready.”

By nightfall, you were ready. Your hair was freshly braided, in a pattern different to what the Na’vi wear, but you wanted it to be a mix of Na’vi and human braiding. You had all new clothes, and Kiri was in your tent, painting your body in white lines, as was the tradition. She looked radiant, happy and beautiful, like she always was.

“How are you feeling?

“Nervous.” 

“There’s nothing to be nervous about. You belong here, you always have, even when you were human. This is just formality at this point.”

“Kiri… I want to thank you. You saved my life. Your plants, your mind saved my life. I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t for you.”

“You saved your life. You asked me, you did the work, you found the cure. The Na’vi will be forever grateful to you, and Max and Norm, I hope you know that.”

“How about we say it was a team effort?” You laughed together and you kissed her forehead. You loved her so much, your sister for life.

Neteyam saw your body, adorning all new garbs, a golden frilly loincloth and green, violet and gold beaded top that hung from your neck to reveal a bare back that made Neteyam’s body beam with desire. Your left arm was decorated with a bracelet, the same bracelet he was wearing, the one that he gave to you when he was ten, that was now proudly shining on your person rather than hiding in a drawer, masking pain. You had bracelets around your ankles as well, that were softly clinking every time you took a step. Your hair was soft and braided in a pattern that was unlike the Na’vi ways, and it was fitting, Neteyam thought. You would never be only Na’vi - you were more, not quite human, not quite one of them, you were the most beautiful aspects of both and Neteyam felt his heart skip a beat at the sight, one which will never cease to take his breath away. You were his, forever. How did he get so lucky?

Almost as if you could hear him, you slowly turned around and he saw your eyes searching the crowd until they found him, and your face immediately broke out into a beaming smile, that slowly changed into a gaze filled with yearning and love….and lust. Neteyam gulped audibly at your expression, so intense it was making him crazed enough to almost consider taking you away right now, ceremony be damned, and coax screams out of you he would be sure anyone else would cower in shame at. But not you. You were his match, his twin flame, and he knew whatever he wanted to take from you, the screams, the pleasured pains, the moans and panted breaths, you would give willingly, and would take his in return, until you were both so spent you collapsed in aching bliss. 

He waited though, despite his progressively harder to ignore twitch, knowing he wouldn’t, couldn’t rob you of this moment, knowing the waiting and anticipation would be worth it in the end.

The ceremony was ethereal, magical, and he couldn’t help reminisce about his own, years and years ago. The people all stood around you, waiting for the Olo’eyktan to say the words that will make it official. Neteyam saw his father approach you, wearing all the garbs worthy of a chief of the Omatikaya, and placed both his arms on your shoulders, smiling proudly. You were a Sully now, for all intents and purposes, and his father looked at you the same way he looked at all his children. Neteyam’s heart swelled at the sight, taking in the familial interaction.

“Ngenga 'ite Omatikayaä luyu set. Na'viyä luyu hapxì. (You are now a daughter of the Omaticaya. You are part of The People.)”

Neteyam made his way by your side, and he watched as the rest of his family did the same. He placed both of his hands on your body, one over your heart, and the other on your back. His family did the same, and he noticed tears in everyone’s eyes, including yours and his own. This was a moment none of them thought they’d get to see, that you never expected to experience, and Neteyam said a silent prayer to Eywa, thanking her for bringing the love of his life back to him, and into the clan. 

After the celebration, you excused yourself from everyone, tired and dazed, as well as too impatient to wait for what you have wanted, needed for days, months, years. You found Neteyam casually talking to some friends, and you touched his back lightly, so lightly it was barely there. He shuddered minutely, and turned his body to face you. He took your breath away, always, but particularly today, in this light, under these circumstances, wearing his ornate clothes and that bracelet, the one that you would both wear for the rest of your lives. That one that meant forever. 

“Come.” He said, and he looked at you like you were a meal that he’s been starved from, that he was going to devour. You bit your lip in excitement and followed him.

You went for a swim in a tiny lake not too far from the village. You swam together like that for hours, kissing and touching each other under the water, just feeling him. The anticipation was building strongly, and as the last of the paint on your body dissipated, you left, with hurried steps, quickly making your way towards the Tree of Souls. 

Your entire body stalled at the sight. You have seen images of it, areal videos taken from drones and helicopters, you saw it all, and yet nothing could have prepared you for the beauty of this place, for its magnitude and significance. The air felt thick, charged with energy, and you could hear whispers all around you, soft, almost imperceptible, but they were there. Eywa was here, just like she was all around you, but here, you felt her stronger, almost palpably so. You made your way through the willow-like branches, seeing the purple hue illuminate your skin, and you just walked, taking it all in, touching it, experiencing it fully. You were so happy, it made you anxious. You’ve never felt happiness like this, and you were scared it wasn’t going to last, scared of knowing that the fall from such a high would break all of your bones, crush you forever. You felt Neteyam’s gaze on you, electrifying every inch of your body its gaze was touching. You could feel him, in your bones, you knew what he was feeling, what he was thinking. You shared a soul, you always have. “He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” 

You looked at him and your breath hitched in your throat at the sight; he was the most gorgeous human you have ever seen. He was beautiful and angelic and looking at you like you were prey that he wanted to exert complete control over - and you didn’t mind. You wanted him so badly and you have waited for this for what feels like lifetimes. You knew looking at this man in front of you that you would allow him to ruin you, you would beg him to kill you softly, slowly drive out any ounce of sanity from your body orgasm by orgasm until there was nothing left of you but the echoes of moans you couldn’t help exhale. It was almost desperate, your need for him, and you heard your breath become laboured, panting with craving and ache. You saw him make his way towards you slowly, and stopped only when he was towering over you, and you had to bring your chin up to be able to look into his eyes. His hands immediately found your jaw, that he gripped tightly, making sure you weren’t going to look away from him, from that gaze that drove you mad and made you throb in pain, begging to be filled, craving sweet release. 

“You’re mine. I can’t believe you’re mine. I have waited for so long, I have dreamt about this for years. The one thing I have wanted more than life itself and you are here. You’re mine. Forever.” 

You were fully panting now, not even an ounce of shame on your features. You wanted him, you wanted him to know what he was doing to you. Wanted him to control you, to possess you, to take what was his, what has been his and will be his forever. 

“Say it. I need to hear you say it, Atan.” 

His grip on your jaw tightened, and you moaned, unable to stop yourself, not wanting to stop yourself. 

“I am yours, Neteyam. I have always been yours. I will always be yours. It’s you and me, forever.” 

It was his turn to moan, gaze turning animalistic now, in a way that you felt within you, deep within you, and you knew you were dripping wet now, knew he was going to love it, was going to revel in it, and you smirked at the thought. 

You saw him stop and reach back for his queue. You gasped silently at the sight, but smiled at the thought he wanted this, that after this, you would be his for life. You reached back for yours, and you both held them close to each other, just out of reach, looking deeply in each other’s eyes. 

“Do you trust me?” 

“You know I do. I trust you, Neteyam, do whatever you want to me. I’m yours to take, I’m yours.” 

“Forever?”

“Forever.” You joined the queues and nothing in the world could have ever prepared you for the overwhelming sensations and feelings, for the intense intimacy of feeling Neteyam’s deepest desires and emotions, for how deep his love and care for you actually ran, for how desperate he was to own you, to make you his. You felt his breathing and his heartbeat, and he felt yours and the desire you both felt exploded all around you. 

He aggressively smashed his lips into yours, both of you moaning at the contact, at the need that enveloped both your beings like the rushing water of the river you loved swimming in together. Your fingers immediately made their way into his hair, his beautiful hair that seemed to sometimes have a life of its own, and thinking of how hot you found it made you only more enthusiastic, gripping at it tightly and pulling on it. He smirked in the kiss, parting your lips enough to look at you with a mischievous grin that you loved more than you could put into words. You loved this man - you loved his kindness and compassion and sacrificial streak and patience, but you loved this side of him more, the side only you ever got to experience, that no one else knew about. How passionate and adventurous he was, how masculine and possessive of what was his he was, how wild and untamed a streak he hid under the well-behaved and poised demeanour. How well he matched you. Your twin flame. He placed both of his hands on you thighs, just underneath your ass, and lifted you effortlessly, and you instantly wrapped both your legs around him, never breaking the kiss, that was now just a mess of panted moans, lips and intertwined tongues. You felt your back hit a tree bark and you gasped, breaking the kiss and watching as the action left a trail of spit in between you. His mouth moved to your neck, that he sucked and licked until it was hurting, and he pushed you into the tree, trying to remove whatever space there still was in between you two. As he did so, you felt his chest and pelvis push aggressively into you, and you whined when you felt his dick brush up against you core, hard as a rock and hitting a spot that was making you lose your ability to see around you. He started moving his hips into yours, drawing circles into your pelvis and you matched him, desperate for release, desperate to want to give him your first of many orgasms of the night. You weren’t going to be satisfied until he made you cry in pain, in pleasure, until the line between them was blurred.

Neteyam saw your breathing quickened and he smirked in a way that only made further pleasure pool in your depths. “Coming already, my love? You wanted me that badly, huh?” 

“Dick.”

“You’ll get that later, too.” 

You wanted to laugh, but couldn’t do anything but mewl in agonising ecstasy as he hit a spot that immediately made you see stars and you rode out your first orgasm, crying into the crook of his neck. 

“Good girl.” He didn’t let you come down from you high, as he removed your body from the tree and placed you on the mossy, comfortable ground, and both his hands went on your knees, making sure you were keeping them apart, as soon as he could feel you wanting to close them to accommodate for your post-orgasm sensitivity. 

“No, Atan. You wanted this, remember? You have to keep your pretty legs spread for me.”

The entire world was spinning around you, a mess of purple, pink and white, as he traced his hands slowly, too slowly, painfully slowly up your thighs, until he reached your hips, where you loincloth was tightened, and you felt him make quick work of the knot, inhaling deeply as he took it off from you and saw you for the first time. 

“Fuck, Atan. I feel like I could come just from looking at you. Look at you, a fucking writhing mess and I haven’t done anything yet. Look at this,” he said as he place a hand in between your folds, removing the slick that was so abundant it was now dripping down your ass, “Look at how wet you are for me, and I haven’t even touched you yet. The shit I want to do to you, Atan, will make Eywa regret ever making this tree part of the mating ritual.” 

You saw him slowly lowering his head towards you legs, kissing and biting roughly up your thigh until you were screaming in pain. “Shh, Atan.” He drew circles in your thighs as he continued his onslaught to comfort you to some extent, except it was only lighting your skin on fire, only strengthening your need for that second release. 

“Fuck, Neteyam, please.” 

“Begging so soon, my love? What do you need?” 

“You. Your tongue, your fingers, anything. Fuck, please!” 

“Well, since you said please.” 

He smirked again, the asshole, and you felt him licking your pussy from your entrance to your clit, and at the moan he released as he did so, you convulsed so violently you needed a while to settle, still trying desperately to close your thighs to make the sensation more bearable. 

“Stop that, or I’ll stop. Do you want me to stop, my love?” He looked at you through hooded eyes and giving you a wild look that made you clench around nothing, and your hands found his head and you pushed him back into you, annoyed that he stopped, already upset at the thought that he wasn’t going to be doing this every minute for the rest of your life. If you had your way, he would. That’s all you would do. He laughed, but obliged, and continued his attack on your lips, messily kissing and licking, pushing his tongue deep within you, like your pussy held the potion for eternal life and he wanted to live in you forever.

“Fuck, Atan, you taste so good. So good, how am I ever supposed to stop, huh?” You started grinding your hips around him, moaning loudly and you saw him dry humping the ground, trying to get some of his own release. The primal animalistic action was enough to push you over the edge again, coming all over his tongue, that was still lapping at your insides, without any intention to stop. 

You tried to push him away, the feeling so overwhelming it was bordering painful, your clit so red and sensitive now it was glaring and obvious, but he didn’t relent. 

“Fuck, you are intoxicating. Come on, baby, I’m not nearly done. We’re not nearly done.” He pushed two fingers in you, which was incredibly easy with the amount of slick and cum you were continuously releasing. Although so sensitive, you immediately clenched around him, taking him in, and felt the familiar ache slowly building in you again. He pushed his fingers deeper, until his knuckles made contact with your folds, and you felt his thumb slowly, gently rubbing your throbbing clit as his fingers were hitting your g spot mercilessly. The stimulation was too much, and you felt yourself seeking yet another orgasm, bucking your hips wildly against his fingers. 

“That’s right, Atan. Let me see you come all over my fingers.” That’s all you needed to hear, and almost on command, you felt yourself coating his long digits with your cum. He removed his fingers from inside you and you cried out at the loss, but he didn’t care, too busy staring at his fingers, covered in the clear viscous liquid enveloping them. He brought both fingers to his mouth and he took them both in and sucked on them, and immediately kissed you, messily and forcefully, and you moaned at the vulgarity of it, and the taste of your own orgasms on his tongue, which was exploring your mouth like he had your folds earlier. You loved it, loved all of it, drunk on the feeling, on the connection you felt to this man that knew you, so well, so deeply, knew your body instinctually, like he touched you and had you all his life, and you squirmed when you realised that now you had a whole life to do this, every day, you would never have to live without this feeling again. 

“Do you feel how good you taste, Atan? Fuck. I will never get enough of this.”

With one swift motion, he removed your top from around your neck and took its place, squeezing your throat until you couldn’t breathe anymore, slowly choking you. You threw your head back and arched your back, eyes fluttering shut, just taking in this feeling, of being completely owned, completely in someone else’s control. It was exhilarating. 

“Look at you. Look at how you give in to me, it makes me fucking crazy.” He squeezed harder. “You drive me fucking crazy. I have dreamt about fucking you for so long. So many nights, having to stroke my cock imagining it was your mouth instead, you have no idea how badly I need you. How entirely and completely yours I am. You own me. My soul and my mind. It’s only fair I own your body.”

The hand that wasn’t around your throat went to his loincloth, that he removed skilfully, letting it drop to the ground around him. Your eyes fluttered open to take him in, his glorious body and that magnificent cock, that was even bigger that you ever dreamt, and you struggled to gulp in the position you were currently in. Your pussy clenched fully at the sight, and you were drooling now, saliva pooling around your mouth that you licked off like a kitty looking at her favourite meal. His fist wrapped around the girth of his cock and he started pumping himself, and you were close to being done again just at the sight, never in your life seeing anything more sensual, more erotic. You needed him inside of you now. 

“Fuck, please, Neteyam. I need you in me.”

“I know, Atan. I need to be in you. I need to feel you milking me, like the good girl I know you are.”

With a couple more strokes, he lined himself at your entrance and slowly, deliberately, agonisingly pushing in, one inch at a time, stretching you deliciously, fully until he bottommed out, and you could feel him hitting your cervix, you could see his bulge in your lower abdomen. It drove you to the point of madness. 

Your hand went to his ass, trying to push him even further in, despite not thinking it was actually possible for him to go anywhere else, but it was still not enough, never enough. 

He removed your hand and gathered both of them and pushed them above your head, pining them to the ground with enough force that you couldn’t move them anymore. 

“No, Atan. You don’t get to dictate this. We go at my speed.” And with those words, he started rutting into you brutally, giving you no time to adjust to him or to the pace. It was rough and wild and out of control, everything you have ever desired in your darkest, best fantasies. It was so dirty, so wrong it made your insides squirm in pleasure, in uninhibited bliss. 

He maintained his pace for so long it was enough to steal two more orgasms from you. You were on the verge of tears, now, so overstimulated you didn’t know if you were feeling pleasure or pain anymore, but you didn’t care, you wanted more, always more of this, more of him. 

“Fuck, Atan, I can feel you squeezing me again. You think you can give me one more?” You nodded weekly, trying to match his ruthless pace.

“I want to come in this pretty pussy. You want me to fill you up, Atan?” You could only moan at the words, unable to formulate any coherent thoughts or sentences, anymore. You were way past that. Your breath quickened rapidly and you knew you were really close, and he could feel you too.

“Yeah, that’s right baby, come all over my cock. I want to feel you come undone.” Those words were enough to rip another explosive orgasm out of you, and your clenching milked his cock dry, feeling thick spurts of cum fill you up, painting your pink walls white. 

He collapsed on top of you with a thud, still buried deep in you, and you couldn’t help laugh exhilaratingly at his reaction, at what just happened, at the fact his was all real, not just an out-of-reach fantasy. 

Eventually, he rolled from on top of you and stretched out an arm for you to cuddle up to him, which you did, feeling grateful for every moment, grateful for the intimacy. 

You were both still panting, still recuperating and you lay in his arms in peaceful bliss, trying to catch your breath. 

“Thank you.” You said playfully, drawing circles on his chest. 

“What for?”

“For being an even better lay than I always imagined you to be in my dreams. Although I’ll find it hard ever being a productive member of this clan again going forward.” 

He threw his head back and laughed, and the sound filled the forest and your heart, so relieved to be able to hear it again, so immensely grateful to get to experience these feelings in your life, that didn’t end prematurely no matter how many bad decisions you have made.

“You’re very welcome, Atan.” 

You peered up at him bashfully, and you knew then you did at least one thing right in this life. 

You fell asleep in his arms, and woke up in the link room, wide smile on your face. Max was waiting for you, and he returned your smile when he saw how happy you were.

“You look happy.” 

“It’s just been a good day.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet.” He looked at you playfully. “Do me and Norm have to give you the talk?”

“Shut up, Max. In a completely unrelated subject, though, can I have some birth control from the medical ward, please?” 

Your body was weak, and you needed a while to adjust to being back here after a whole day in your other body, soon to be your only body. You felt weightless, despite the pain, so happy and so in love. Your knees were weak from the memories, and you felt a bit empty at the lack of touch, craving him again, even though he’s taken so many orgasms from you, you knew you were going to be sore walking back to the village. 

You went looking for Norm, who was already waiting for you in the medical ward, ready to give you a new dose of the injection and take some blood to see how everything is looking. 

“It was a beautiful ceremony last night. Did you enjoy yourself?”

“Yeah, definitely did. It was incredible, I have never felt anything like it before.”

“Are you ready for tonight?”

“I think I am. I opened the drawer, little by little, Norm. I think it’s time. I am ready to take my place amongst the people, I am ready for my body to belong, I am ready to not have to worry that this virus will turn around and kill me at any point. My mum and dad both sacrificed so much for me to have a chance at a better life. You guys sacrificed so much. You’re like my guardian angels. I owe you so much, and I am so sorry about how I acted. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Will you still come by and hang out once in a while when you’re not busy riding your ikrans and being an overall badass?”

“Always, Norm. I am still me, I am still a scientist at heart, and I am still human. Maybe my body won’t be, but I will also have my mum and dad, you and Max, a whole history and heritage that I don’t want to rid myself of.” 

“Good. Then all’s forgiven, Ace. I am sorry too, for not telling you about Neteyam. It just didn’t feel like my secret to share.” 

“I understand.” You got up after he injected you with the treatment and hugged him tightly, grateful for this man who is your family just as much as your mum and the Sullys are. 

After resting, eating and taking a nap, you did your dialysis session for the day, and although loopy, you hopped in your Avatar body, still a couple of things you wanted to take care of before the transfer. 

To your surprise, you woke up in your tent, a small blanket covering you. You smiled, realising Neteyam must have carried you back in the morning. He even put your clothes back on. You blushed at the need that immediately overwhelmed your body, and tried to calm yourself as there were more pressing matters at hand. 

You made your way to the Sully tent, and heard Neytiri and Mo’at talking. Good, two of the people you were looking for. 

“Mai’te! How are you feeling?”

“I feel great, sa’nok (mother). Thank you for last night, it was beautiful.” Neytiri brought her hand to her mouth in slight shock at your new name for her. She was so happy, it all felt complete now, after all this time. 

You took her free hand in yours as well as one of Mo’at’s, and looked at them seriously, intently. 

“I want to ask for your permission for the transfer. I realise a lot of talk has happened, done when I was a human, when I was sick. But I am not sick anymore. I don’t want you to do it because you are worried I will die. I want to be sure, I want you to be sure, that you want me as a Na’vi forever. That you are comfortable with me becoming my Avatar for life. I will not do it, if you aren’t. This means so much for me, and I know I have been a coward, for so long, but I am ready now. I am standing here in front of you, and I am finally ready, to be one of the people, to be in this body, to be your daughter. I just hope I’m not too late.” 

They both looked at each other, and smiled, and looked back at you lovingly.

“Mai’te, we have waited for you all of our lives. You are the missing piece in this world, in our world. You brought forth a cure for an illness that has plagued the Na’vi for years and years. There is nothing we would love more than for you to be Na’vi. And there will be no better future Tsa’hik.” 

Your eyes widened at Mo’at’s words, at the consent not only to join the clan, this family, but to do so as Neteyam’s mate, as the future spiritual leader of the Omaticaya. 

“I won’t let you down.” You hugged both of them, tears in your eyes. 

You eventually made your way out of the tent and looked for the only other person you had to talk to before this was all done. Neytiri told you where he could be, so you looked there first. Sure enough, you found Lo’ak deep in thought up a tree, above everyone else, and you climbed easily and joined him. He was startled by you, but he composed himself quickly and gave you a look that you couldn’t quite place. You could tell he had conflicting feelings, happy on one hand to not have lost you in one way, sad that he did lose you in others. 

“Hey.” He was curt, and didn’t look at you, and a twinge of hurt settled in your chest. You had to make this right. 

“Hey, you. Scooch.” He moved slightly so you could fit with him on the branch, which was more than wide enough to accommodate both of you. 

“Lo’ak… please talk to me? I can’t stand the thought that you hate me. You’re my best friend. Please?” 

“Is it true?”

“Is what true?” 

“I saw you leaving with Neteyam last night, after the ceremony.”

You cringed a little, the thought of having this particular conversation with him close to unbearable.

“Yes, it’s true.” 

Pain flashed across his face and you saw a tear, just one small tear, fall down his face. You reached to wipe it off, but he beat you to it, so you awkwardly let your hand drop. 

“I’m sorry, Lo’ak. I’m so so sorry. But I have loved your brother my whole life. My whole life, ever since I was born, he was there. And I love you too, I love you so so much, but we wouldn’t be right together. You are the best guy in the world, and I am not even close to being worthy of you. Neteyam gets me. He gets the darkest side of me, he knows my darkest, worst secrets, he has been with me through some of my most traumatic moments. It’s never been that it’s not you. It’s just that it can’t be anyone else. My whole life, it was always going to be just him.”

“You are my best friend, and I will always be here for you. You will never lose me. You will never get rid of me. I found a season of Friends on my mum’s directory that I’m pretty sure we’ve never seen. I can’t do that with anyone else.”

“I know you are scared, and I think that’s why you asked me. Not because you think I’m the woman you want to grow old with, but because you’re scared that no one else will see you the way I do. And you’re wrong, Lo’ak. Everyone will see in time that you are the best person in the world. You are incredible. And so many girls will be falling at your feet soon, you will be angry at yourself for ever pining over someone like me. I know you are scared, but I am not going anywhere. Can you please forgive me?” 

He turned and looked at you for a long time, intensely searching your face, maybe for a sign that you were lying, or exaggerating, but he couldn’t find any, as he eventually dropped his gaze and smirked playfully. 

“Do you really think girls will be falling at my feet?” 

“Yes, I really really do. You are a catch, mister.” 

He rolled his eyes dramatically and let out an exasperated sigh.

“Well then, I have to forgive you.” You both laughed and your back pressed against the bark of the tree and you stretched your legs to sit in his lap. 

“Now, about that season of Friends…” 

You returned to your human form in the afternoon, and slowly started packing your life away, ready to relinquish this room, once your mothers, with deep sadness in your heart. You will all have to relocate from tomorrow, so you will probably not be back here except to help everyone else evacuate and move all the equipment. You’ll never be back here, you realised with a deep sigh. So many memories, so many bad ones, but so many good ones too, this place was your safe place, your little piece of heaven, despite all the hell you went through in it. As you packed all of your books and trinkets you collected in time, you found yourself tracing your fingers over every surface, trying to commit it to memory. The coffee stain on your desk that was made when Neteyam spilled your mug with his tail without meaning to. The scratches on one of the drawers from all the times you pulled on it with your finger, since the latch was a little broken and hard to open. The wear and tear from your ass print on the chair that you spent inordinate amounts of hours in, be it analysing data or watching shows, or reading with your feet carelessly stretched on the desk. You moved on to your bed, that you sat on, and you sighed at the thought of never being able to sleep on a bed again. You will miss the comfort of the mattress and the sheets, and the space to really spread out however much you wanted, looking like a little starfish every time Norm woke you up in the mornings and his subsequent laughter at your ridiculous poses. 

It took a while, but you were done about an hour before eclipse. Neteyam knocked on your door, with eyes slightly widened at the state of the now empty room. 

“I’ve never seen this place like this. It looks so barren without your touch.” 

You sighed and tugged at the insides of your mouth with your teeth. “Yeah, it does.”

“Any regrets?” You turned around to face him, giving him a small reassuring smile and taking his hand in yours, the size difference always a stark contrast compared to your Avatar body. 

“Never.” You eyed the bed playfully and raised an eyebrow, feigning timidity. “We still have some time… what could we possibly do to fill it, huh?” 

He looked at you, and you could tell he was turned on out of his mind, but also gave you a reserved look. “We can’t… not like this, I will hurt you.”

“I don’t think you realise you’re not making the point you think you are.”

He closed the door behind him with his tail and stalked towards you. “Fuck, you will be the death of me, Atan.” 

You made your way to the village a little after eclipse, and everyone was following you. All the humans, Norm and the other Avatars and Neteyam, who was carrying you on his back like you were his little backpack. You were flushed and a little disheveled from earlier, purple marks all over your body, but it didn’t matter. Your hours in this body were limited. In your back pocket of your shorts you had a box of birth control pills that Norm gave to you as you and Neteyam made it out of the room. You laughed at his reaction and yours, both of you awkward and embarrassed to have to address it whatsoever. You placed your head on Neteyam’s shoulder, peering up at the sky, like you used to do when you were little. The village was busy and roaring, everyone packing their lives up for the move tomorrow. People looked at you as you passed by, unfamiliar with your human form clinging to the future Olo’eyktan’s back. Jake and the rest of the family met you at the big bonfire. 

“Heads up, everyone. It’s time!” You smiled, and looked next to him on the ground, where your Avatar body lay motionless and you had to take a second to take this all thing in, the weight of what you were about to do hitting you full force. You started breathing in deep, shallow breaths, and you felt Neteyam’s hands running up and down your thigh in a calming motion. 

“You’ve got this. We’re all here for you.” You reached over and pecked his neck, in gratitude. 

Everybody in the village, all the Na’vi were making their ways through the forest towards Vitraya Ramunong - they would all partake in the ritual. Neteyam was nervous, out of his mind with worry and fear, although he didn’t want to impart that to you, so he carried you gently, trying to be strong, as he was sure your mind was also laced with concerns. What if you didn’t come back? Neteyam quickly pushed the thought out of his mind and cursed it for making him think about such things, making his heart constrict in his chest in pain at the mere thought. Of course you would make it. A part of him was also excited about the ritual. It would be the first time anyone under 19 would get to see it, to experience it, it was only the third time it would have ever been performed. It was a powerful ritual, hence why they needed everyone. 

The tree was as breathtaking as it always has been, and Neteyam had to inhale deeper to accommodate for the deep charge of the atmosphere, for the thickness of the air. He heard the ancestor’s voices, buzzing quietly all around him. As soon as you reached the natural platform on which the tree resided, Neteyam put you down next to his family and tried to not think of all the images flashing across his mind’s eye of all the unholy things you two did last night right in this spot. His grandma was giving out orders about where to place your Avatar. 

“Are you ready?” Said Mo’at, in her usual no-nonsense fashion.You gulped loudly, and Neteyam couldn’t help wince. Everybody was on the edge. 

“Yes, I think I am.” He saw you turn around to face him and the rest of the family, as well as Spider, Norm and Max. 

“This is it, I guess.” You grabbed his mother and youngest sister’s hands in yours, and squeezed, a small tear falling down your face. 

“I love you, guys. Thank you for everything all of you have done for me. I am so excited to join this clan and your family, forever.”

Neteyam watched as you lay on the ground, naked except for some leaves covering you. He was going to miss you, he realises. This body is the only one he’s known you as for 18 years. He’s spent so may days and nights with you, with this small person who had so much in her, so much beauty and intelligence, so much hurt and pain, so much personality, so much fierceness and grit and so much care and empathy, he didn’t know where it could all fit in such a tiny body. You’ve grown up together, a human and a Na’vi, learning so much from each other, adapting together to the world around you and to each other’s mind and soul. He was going to miss this body, the body he fell in love with, the toothy grin and wild eyes so unlike anything he’s ever seen, your beauty marks that he used to trace with his finger and eyes.. and mouth, as of a few hours ago. You were everything, and have always been regardless of your difference in species, and colour, and height. He mourned a little, he realised, for the you you’re leaving behind, but was also incredibly thrilled to have you as one of the people, as his mate, mother of his children, Tsa’hik, for the rest of his life. 

He hovered over you the whole ritual, unnerved at the way the tendrils were emerging from the ground and slowly enveloping you, until there was almost no bare skin left to see. His skin was covered in goosebumps at the experience, as the chorus of people asking Eywa to grant you life in a new body, undulating their bodies in unison, and his grandma’s words. It was unlike anything he’s every experienced. 

Tìng mikyun ayoheru rutxe, ma Nawma Sa'nok. (Hear us please, Great Mother)

Pori tireati, munge mì nga (Take this spirit into you)

Srung si poeru, ma Eywa (Eywa, help her)

Ulte tìng ayoer nì'eyng hu ngeyä ya (And breathe her back to us)

Srung si poeru, ma Eywa (Eywa, help her)

Tivìran po ayoekip (Let her walk among us)

Na Na'viyä hapxì! (As one of The People!)

Srung si poeru, ma Eywa (Eywa, help her)

Eventually, the ritual came to an end when Mo’at screamed for everybody to stop. Neteyam reached over to your face, and removed your mask, kissing your cheeks and your hands, and saying a quiet “I love you” before he moved on, anxiously waiting to see if you would open your eyes. He let out a panted breath as you did, smiling tiredly at the family who was now jumping on you, making you choke slightly. 

You laughed and his eyes found yours in the manic scene unfolding in front of him. You smiled lovingly and reached out a hand for him to grab. 

“Hi.” 

“Hi, Atan. It’s good to see you.”

You were sad as you were carrying your body, you tiny human body in your arms, and lowering it in the ground next to the Home Tree. You saw your family place a flower each in the little cove where you now lay, and you carefully redirected an Atokirina towards it, and watched as it landed on you, making its home in the little gap made by your foetal position. 

You will miss this body, and all the memories you made in it. You will miss looking in the mirror and seeing your mother’s eyes and hair, you will miss being able to play her guitar. This body, however tiny and weak, was your home for 18 years, and it has stood by you no matter how many times you treated it badly or betrayed it. It kept you alive in a world that could kill you in an instant, and you were sorry to have to leave it behind. 

“Thank you. Thank you, mum and dad, for giving me life and gifting me this body. Thank you for taking care of me, I know it wasn’t easy to keep up with this messy mind. Thank you.” 

You turned around and fixed your gaze on your mate, the love of your life, the one that made it all bearable, and when met with his dazzling warm smile and his touch that set your soul ablaze, you couldn’t help be excited at the adventures that lay ahead of you, that you will always brave together. 

-the end-

EPILOGUE

The man felt weak and dizzy, the entire room spinning and making him well nauseous. He didn’t know what was happening, what any of this was. He saw a bright light flashing across his eyes and he groaned in pain and annoyance at the way it was making his vision spotty. He grasped the hand of whoever it was that was doing this to him, and he was relieved when it stopped. It took him a long time to adjust to his surroundings, and was met with shock when realising he was in some sort of medical ward, surrounded by people in white coats. His gaze fixated on his hand, that was still wrapped around someone’s wrist, and couldn’t understand what he was seeing in front of him. Blue. A blue striped hand, that supposedly belonged to him. 

“Captain, Captain Barlowe, can you hear me? You’re ok, you’re just disorientated. It’s gonna take a while to settle your mind, so take you time.” 

He raised assertively from the bed he was laying on and made his way to the reflective windows all around him. He stood there, still, just taking it all in, finding it hard to understand, to process what was clearly displayed in front of the mirror. His body, in an Avatar. 

“Captain Barlowe, due to your outstanding military record and previous acquiescence with this project, you have been chosen as one of the select few to carry out a special op on Pandora. You will be briefed shortly, but right now we have to make sure everything is in order.” 

“I’ll be damned.” 

For everyone who’s made it this far, I am so excited to announce the sequel series, The Archer, that will tackle all of the events of the Way of Water x coming to you soon 💕💕

Tag list (thank you thank you thank you x): @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @inomoikawa @jackiehollanderr @jaysarchiv3 @meivap @dakotali @hlhl99 @eskamybeloved @erenjaegerwifee @winchestertitties @mommyneytiri @ultimatebluff @elizarikaallen @yeosxxx @ssc7514 @lolcaca @jackiehollanderr @bunnyrose01 @therealbloom @neteyams-queue @r1dd1kulus @whore4neteyam

@kikookii @iliyoo @velvetskies @rebeccao03 @im-in-a-pansexual-panik

[vourequat]

Yooo! Can you make a Ajax angst w/o a smut? Pretty pleaseeeee🥺🥺🥺🥺😣😣😣

AJAX ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ 𝑨 𝑵 𝑮 𝑺 𝑻— “what happens when loyalty outweighs love?”

WARNING: major character death, a bit of blood mentioned, horrid grammar as always, proof read finally but barely

(A/N: I had to make an OC for this then just scratched it out but who really cares anyways? This is from the Fontaine arc with the whole primordial water fiasco and I'm using it to its full potential by that I mean giving it a second of fame before never using it again.)

Nothing happens to those who keep their mouth shut.

That's what your mother had always reminded you ever since you were little, being born under the streets of the beautiful Fontaine and exposed to the criminal life ever since made you always stand on your toes, it was all a cycle of "if you saw something, you saw nothing".

Even if you had abandoned the criminal life ever since you freed yourself from the chains your mother had tied you onto to find a more legally accepted job in the court of Fontaine, it was still something you believed in wholeheartedly as you knew it was the only thing that'll keep you alive in all this chaos. Ever since you've heard that the Fatui has now plagued your nation, you found yourself back to your old ways; always having eyes everywhere, keeping everyone in a distance even the people you've known for so long all for the chance to live even with these threats to almost every life running around for the pursuit of an archon's power.

As you did your nightly walks around the perimeters of the book store you worked for before closing you saw a dark cloaked figure walk around the street, by your instincts instructions, you quickly hid behind a building as you kept quiet making sure to not alert whoever it was.

You watched it walk down the alley and a hand emerging from it, a vial with some sort of liquid inside being poured into the decorative plants and bushes on the side walks, you weren't exactly sure what it was but you were sure to just keep it to yourself whatever the circumstances were. If there was someone to snitch at this person it surely won't be you.

After that night, you began to get this frequent visitor who doesn't even buy a book. He just goes around the shelves and reads off of the clearance section for an hour before leaving. You were skeptical at first because this man just spawned out of nowhere and was now a daily customer but then again, the business of the people weren't yours.

You were busy unpacking the boxes of second hand books donated to the book shop when this same man approached you with a dashing smile that you immediately assumed he was here to flirt.

"Good morning, mademoiselle. I see that you're really busy with all these... do you happen to need any help?" The stranger offered.

You just watched him with a judging eye, eyeing him up and down for any possible falter to his faux persona if there was before speaking:

"Well... you're here everyday for five hours so why not, right?" You shrugged as you offered him a bit of the books meant for the clearance section as you took the well conditioned books into the counter to repackage into protective plastic.

You watched as he seemed to not mind doing any of your work for you, it was a bit confusing to watch especially with him not being an employee but just a customer. After all the books were all taken care of, you approached him to where he was seated and placed down a plate of sweet baked goods in front of him as you went back behind the counter to grab the tea you just made.

"Oh you didn't have to, I'm happy to have helped lift some responsibilities off your shoulders" The man smiled as he watched your subtle thank you through the food.

"I insist, please eat..." You said as you just sat there beside him.

It was quiet as he munched on a strawberry jam filled tart cookie, he took the tea pot covered in designs of snapdragons before pouring it into a matching cup. It seemed as if you were not the one to talk so he took upon the initiative and decided to participate in small talk.

"My name is Ajax... you are?" He held out his gloved hand towards you.

You stared at his hands, looking for any possible devices hidden underneath the glove. He seemed to have caught on as he retracted back his arm to take off his glove before going back for a handshake, his hand was calloused and rough from your view but at the same time they looked very warm.

Lifting your hand off your lap, you took his hand in yours as you slowly shook it.

"Y/N... just call me Y/N" you said before pulling back your hand to grab a book beside you as you started to read.

It was another silence, surprisingly, this silence wasn't one so uncomfortable that makes you move around and squirm but instead it felt like you could even sleep peacefully in this silence as the atmosphere didn't pressure you to say something or fill the wind with nonsensical talk.

"Hey, Y/N" Ajax called out as you hummed in acknowledgement, lifting your gaze off the book to look at him.

"I was wondering if you know any book about flowers and their meanings... I just wanted to learn about it and send secret messages to my sister, we used to have secret languages as kids but nowadays it seems that flowers are the best option since she loves flowers" He smiled bashfully at the mention of such a book that didn't seem to be the liking of someone so gruff looking like him.

You handed over a book that he was looking for, it was a bit weathered down by time but it was still readable and was one that actually contained the original meanings of each flower in existence. He started going through it carefully as he looked over the flower design on the teapot, "Snapdragons: deception and deviousness but also resembles grace and strength" He read out proudly.

There was such a meaningful innocence in the man's smile as he read the book with the intention of reconnecting with his sister, your eyes watered a bit as you wished someone cared for you like he cared for his sister to learn to better understand their likes to have something to talk about.

"Y/N, what are your favourite flowers?"

"Tulips— pink ones" you answered.

"Pink tulips are known for meaning affection, caring, good wishes, and love... well... you seem like that kind of person" He smiled once more.

You laughed awkwardly as you looked at him with a confused look, wanting to know what he meant by what he said.

"I-I meant like... like... umm... you seem like the person who would love tulips!" He said, trying to save him from embarrassment from his unsubtle flirtiness.

"H-How much is the book?"

"With its publication date, it's a classic... it's well loved with how worn out it is... but for you, as a token of friendship, I'll give it to you for free" You smile for the first time in months.

It felt awkward to smile again but to Ajax, your smile gave angels wings. It was as if everything stopped just for this very moment as the nymphs of the lake sang just for you, the wind blew tenderly and slowly through the plants outside just to have a glimpse of that smile of yours, the sun rays going through the large windows just to admire your smile— it was a perfect sight.

"Y-You want to be friends?" He asked, his face looking like a dog who was faced with delicious treats.

"Of course... you seem nice enough"

"I'll promise to be the bestest friend you'll ever have, I will help you whenever you need help from me and if you're hungry I'll bring you delicious snacks!" He blurted out. This man was the definition of sunshine, you loved how the usual nonchalant and rude filled city was slowly being plagued by nicer and a bit more out there foreigners.

Ever since you befriended this ginger haired lad you had never known quietness, though sometimes there were periods where he would just watch as you read or listen as you read out for the children who occasionally came by the book shop to listen to your voice and teach them how to read, he just loved to talk to you as he knew that you listen unlike the times he's with people who just brush him off by putting a show and pretending to listen to him.

"I miss my home..." He pouted as he lounged about the couch placed just near beside the large window of the now closed book shop, it was nighttime and you could now count the people who passed by with your fingers.

"What's stopping you from going home?"

"Work" he sighed as he munched on a cookie made to look like a chrysanthemum. He used to babble about how he finally knew the outcome of something in a book just by the flowers that were mentioned, how the chrysanthemum flower spoiled the coming death or end of a relationship in the book he read.

"What do you do for work?" You ask as you placed down the book in your hands.

He thought for a second, you had been friends for quite a while so he thought how you'd probably accept him for whatever he was... but not right now.

"An adventurer, I can't really leave if I wanted to since I have a lot of commissions to attend to in this nation" He lied.

That confrontation made you a little bit more distant to him than usual, he knew you liked your personal space but this was just too much avoidance. Ever since you found out that he was just passing by and was only here in Fontaine for a while made you trust him less, made you see him in a different light that puts him in the category of people who you're most likely to push away.

It was another day at the book shop but this day wasn't like any other, you were huddled with a bunch of orphaned children who roamed the streets and children who lived in the sewers like you once were. The Fatui just decided to wreak havoc in your nation now that they couldn't get their hands on the real gnosis as they found that the archon seen everyday at the oratrice mechanique d'nalise cardinale wasn't the real deal but a mortal posing divinity.

But before you could shut down the power to make your workplace less likely to be raided by Fatui guards, you saw Ajax come in, you two were now running back to the sewers along with the children.

"They're safer here now... the Fatui passed by these sewers already" He assured as he helped you make fire to keep the children warm alongside the adults who survived the raid.

"I have to go back up..." Before he could leave, you pulled him by his arm making him stop and look back at you.

"I'm coming with you..." This made his eyes widen.

"W-What? N-No... it's dangerous up there...!" He reasoned.

You didn't actually want to get involved in all of this but seeing your friend willing to go in the front lines for a nation he wasn't even born in and a connection with you wanted to do something for your motherland, he was your friend too.

"You're not stopping me... this is my nation and I will protect it!" You insisted.

"Stop just stop... please... it's dangerous up there"

"I can fight... I have to fight for these children...I can—"

"Why don't you just let me do this for you, for once why don't you let yourself trust me?!" He blurted out causing you to flinch back from him suddenly raising his voice.

"You think I haven't noticed? Not even for once you trusted me... for anything... are we even friends?" He added.

"Ajax, I'm—" Before you could finish, he had already left.

Ajax stood beside his colleagues, fighting off any mekas that stood their way. He was in the middle of fighting off a bunch of gardes when he saw a bunch of Fontainian people screaming and running as he saw waters slowly rise and flooded the streets, he saw how some of them make contact with the water and immediately disappear into thin air, he knew you would be safe as you had told him that you were most likely from outside of Fontaine but then again, you were with pure Fontainians.

He ran back to the sewers but before he could dive in he was already greeted with the sewers filled to the brim with the same water that dissipated all of these Fontanians he just saw earlier, he just hoped to whoever was listening to him that you all had managed to flee before the flood.

He went back to the front lines and soon found his way in the ship that the Fatui had readied for this very event that was written in the books of the Fontainian archives, he was going to go back for you he promised to himself but then he saw your figure as lightning flashed by. He thought you were actually there but he was just hallucinating you being there, he stood up and went outside to take a breath of fresh air.

"Liar..." His heart dropped, he thought he was hallucinating your voice as well but when he turned around he saw you.

"Y-Y/N? Oh my god... Y-You're safe!"

He was about to approach you but you immediately tackled him into the ground as you held a broken glass shard close to his throat.

"You pleaded for trust... now you've completely broken it!" You cried out as you tried to drive the shard to his throat but his hand kept you from doing so.

"W-What're you talking about?"

"You said they'd be safe down there... I left to go after you but they all drowned!" You sobbed as you only saw the clothes of the children floating around as you opened the cover of the manhole that connected with the sewers.

He flipped the both of you, you were now below him as he restrained your hands from hurting him accidentally or intentionally.

"I-I didn't know...!" He knew, he just knew that either way these children wouldn't survive from both the flood of prophecy and the wrath of the Fatui so he just let the children die a peaceful death.

You used your legs and arms to push him off as you stood up, the blood dripping from your hand from how hard you've held onto the glass shard.

"Drop that... you're hurting yourself!" As you stood there enraged, the other Fatui guards alarmed by the sudden commotion entered the dock along with the harbinger Arlecchino.

"You lied to me... you knew they would die there... and you lied about your work, Ajax... if that even is your name" You laughed.

Arlecchino gestured towards the guards and they immediately followed her as they swarmed you to hold you back, Ajax just watched, he looked towards Arlecchino silently telling her to not hurt you in any way.

"Do you know how to swim?" Ajax began.

"What? Of course I do...?" And with that, he gestured to the guards to throw you off the ship but you tried to get yourself out of their grasp.

"This is better for you, you're not Fontanian so you're safe... this ship is going to war so I'd rather have you down there than up here, there's ships down there of Fontaine so just yell for help" He adviced.

"N-No... Ajax no, please..." You pleaded, shaking your head.

He placed his hands on your shoulders and made you look at him, "This is safer for you..." he then pushed you off as you fell from their sky ship towards the sea beneath you.

He watched as you fell down and as soon as you made contact with water you sinked in, he was waiting for you to emerge from the water but it's been a minute and there was still no sign of you.

"Oops... forgot to tell you" Arlecchino chimed in.

"Whilst you were making sure she didn't speak about us poisoning the bushes... I set out our men and found out that she lied to you... They're pure Fontanian"

That revelation made his heart drop to his feet as the waves below him began to slow down— he killed you.

He fell down to his knees as he watched his gloved hands that both welcomed you into his life and removed you from it, he couldn't believe that he lost you... he's lost so much, you made him see that not everything is easy to get but it will always be worth it and he lost you too.

"Come on... go back to sleep" Arlecchino spoke out as she began to walk away.

Ajax stood up and leaned into the railings of the ship as his tears fell down, for years he thought that these tears were reserved for his family but why was he now crying for someone he just met three months ago?

"Please... please get out of the water... please!" He screamed from the top of his lungs, denying the fact that you too had now dissipated like the others he saw.

"Ajax... go back to sleep" Arlecchino said sharply as she pulled him by his arm and threw him forward to walk back to the rooms in the ship.

"You knew these people had no future... whether they die in our hands or to the prophecy... they're still going to die" Arlecchino added before shutting the door to his room shut leaving him in utter despair all alone in this cold dark room.

He killed you thinking he was going to save you.

BONUS:

He watched as the cemetery was flooded with people who survived the flood, now mourning their loss now that the waters had now cleansed the land of its sins.

He approached a certain tomb, one with an aged picture of a child smiling brightly with a name engraved into the stone. He set down a bouquet of your favourite pink tulips as he sat down in front of your grave, it hurt a lot more knowing that there was no body to bury but at least with this you would still be remembered.

"Y/N... my name is Ajax, it's my real name... I didn't find it in myself to just give you my codename... I just felt like I could be myself with you..." He began to speak as he tried to stop his tears from falling.

He grabbed the framed picture that your boss had placed down and admired it, this was a smile he would miss, a face he'd miss to see.

You were the only friend who had actually cared for him, you didn't trust him enough but he could understand where you were coming from but what he couldn't believe was how he still let his loyalty to the Tsaritsa ruin your blooming relationship with each other.

He couldn't believe that his blood oath to the cryo archon had harmed the people you love and had been the reason that this grave was for a young person— a grave with no body to mourn.

[pluckyredhead]

The Lost Titans in Canon: Jason and Rose

I already talked about Jason and Eddie's canon friendship, so next up, I want to talk about Jason and Rose. They're an interesting duo, actually, because even though they have appeared in far more comics together than Jason and Eddie, a lot of them take place in Elseworlds, or timelines that are in questionable continuity these days. It's only in the past couple of years that this relationship has really picked up the pace - and to a certain extent, only in the past couple of days.

Jason and Rose first interacted in Red Hood and the Outlaws, the New 52 volume. Rose turns up hunting the Outlaws, and it's revealed that she and Jason have a sexual past. Because it's RHATO, she's of course written appallingly out of character:

Awful.

The very next issue, the book is canceled. Jason and Rose walk off together, but when we next see Jason in Red Hood/Arsenal like four seconds later, Rose is nowhere in sight.

Anyway, this history and interaction are...let's say in dubious continuity. Rose's appearance here barely jives with anything else she did in the DCU (most of which was also written incoherently by Lobdell), and everything about New 52 Rose was instantly retconned out of existence by Rebirth. Then again, you could say the same thing about Jason and Roy.

Ever since, DC has treated Jason and Rose like they have romantic history of some kind, or at least there are references to sexual tension between them, but no one is ever specific about exactly what their history is.

Next up is DCeased: The Unkillables, a miniseries set in the DCeased universe. Jason and Rose actually wind up getting married in this universe, but obviously it's not actually in continuity because it's an AU. Still, they're pretty cute:

(This ends tragically, of course, because DCeased.)

Speaking of AUs, we also saw these two together in Future State, a possible dystopian future. They are definitely sleeping together, but while Rose spends most of her time making double entendres, Jason is distant and brooding, until she gets pissed off:

Still, she shows up later to rescue him, and they actually manage to end that AU together and alive (for now):

Okay, so much for AUs and potentially retconned-away interactions. What about the in continuity stuff?

Well, this single panel happened during Dark Nights: Death Metal: The Last Stories of the DC Universe, which was sort of the transitional event between the end of Rebirth and completely rolling back the remnants of the New 52:

Is it still in continuity? Do any of the characters remember it? I HAVE NO IDEA.

Next is Robin, when Rose tells Jason that Damian has entered the assassin tournament on Lazarus Island, and the former Robins show up to try to stop him. Rose and Jason don't interact directly, but we do get this:

Great question, Damian! NO ONE KNOWS.

Rose and Jason FINALLY interact ONE HUNDRED PERCENT IN CURRENT CONTINUITY FOR SURE in The Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing, when she rescues him from a police van and they both look ridiculously hot about it:

I'm assuming she's calling him "lover boy" because they've hooked up, but if you've read any of my work you know I'm a Jason Todd Secret Virgin truther, so I'm choosing to read it ambiguously. I'm also choosing to read her last line as her having the hots for Steph. (Rose, like me, prefers Naughty Robins only.) Anyway, she's been roped into the plot of this book, but it's still ongoing so who knows how it'll resolve. (Spoiler: not with Jason successfully killing the Joker!)

That was going to be my whole list when I started this post, but then Batman/Catwoman: Gotham War: Red Hood #2 came out, and who should show up but Rose!

We've seen this dynamic from them before: Rose cracks sex jokes, Jason is stoic and terse and Focused On The Mission. I'm of two minds about this - it's fun to read, and Rose does tend to make bawdy jokes (she did grow up in a brothel, after all), whereas Jason ranges from stoic to equally sassy depending on who's writing him, so I wouldn't necessarily say it's out of character for either of them. It's more that Rose is always depicted as the one pursuing Jason, whereas he has Important Manly Things to think about instead. (See also: Bruce and Selina, Bruce and Talia, Bruce and any woman, any man in comics and any woman.) Just because it's not technically OOC doesn't mean it doesn't overlap into a sexist trope.

(I kind of love the idea that she is literally only doing it because she knows it embarrasses him and he is Focusing On The Mission to hide his blush and they both know they aren't going to fuck, but that's a personal headcanon and not really the Occam's Razor interpretation of these scenes, which are definitely meant to imply that they are banging.)

What I did find interesting about this issue is that it's the first one in continuity to show genuine concern and affection between the characters:

Do I think Rose would ever stand with her toes together like that past the age of 12? No. But this is still very touching.

Anyway, JayRose is one of those pairings that I don't ship but am perfectly fine seeing unfold in canon. I totally get why DC would pair them, I totally get what they would see in each other, I think it will all end in disaster but that can be fun to watch. It'll be interesting to see if DC commits to actually telling an in-continuity story with these two, or if they will forever be restricted to her showing up and making a dick joke that Jason will ignore because of how he's sad inside. Time will tell!

[zoeykallus]

hi i couldn't find the status of your requests so i figure there is no harm in just putting this out there? I understand if they are closed though and I just didn't find it so no pressure!!

Anyways, I wanted to request thigh riding with the bad batch + rex (and maybe fives if you are down?)

Thank you so much!!!

Aloha!

Hmm, good request 🤤 I can only guess, but looking at the thigh riding thing, I assume we talk about a fem!Reader? Well, let's hope I assumed right 😅

The Bad Batch/Rex/Fives x Fem!Reader HCs- Thigh Riding Part 1 Of 2

Warnings: Strongly Suggestive/Dry Humping/Thigh Riding/Strong Language/18+

___________________

AC: Sorry, got carried away with the idea I had for the Tech part. And Again, I did much more than I planned in the first place, so I have to make this into two parts, or I'll never get done with this 😅

Tech

You are working in the small engine room of the Marauder. It's pretty cramped in here, you're practically sitting on Tech's lap, or rather he's sitting, and you're standing, one of his legs between yours. It's warm in here, so you've shed most of your gear. Tech is practically wearing just his Blacks, codpiece and tool belt. You're wearing a tank top and your tight yoga pants. Actually, you had wanted to do some exercise, but Tech approached you and asked for help before you could.

You're wrenching something behind Tech, practically over his shoulder, and he's working at about your waist level next to you.

"Isn't that too uncomfortable? It's cramped in here, and working so close together isn't everyone's cup of tea."

You shrug your shoulders and say, "It doesn't bother me."

Of course, you don't mind working so closely with Tech, quite the opposite, but you don't say it so specifically.

He says matter-of-factly, "Besides you, there's only Wrecker here today, and he won't fit between the machines with me."

Clearly, you hope there's more to it than practical thinking, but you can never be sure with Tech.

"I understand," you say neutrally and ask, "Can you see what you're working on or am I in the way?"

You don't see Tech's gaze glance very briefly over your cleavage and then back to his work.

He replies, "I can't complain about the view."

You wonder at his choice of words, but don't really think anything of it, not with Tech. He changes his position a bit to better reach the cables he needs to connect, brushing his thigh up between yours, touching the center between them for a brief moment.

Immediately, heat rises in you and a tingling sensation deep in your belly moves down into the heated triangle between your thighs.

"I'm sorry," he says softly.

You're so close to him, but you're working, actually, there's nothing really intimate about this, but it feels like it. It's a bittersweet agony. As far as you know, Tech has no idea you have a crush on him. Would he work as closely with you if he did know?

You also have to bend over further and down, towards him. Your center is now practically resting on his thigh. You feel every little muscle movement on his part through the thin fabric of your pants.

Nervously, you lick your lips, glad that Tech doesn't have Hunter's senses, because otherwise he would already know about the heat rising in you. It tingles wonderfully, you feel a little ashamed of it, but you also enjoy it.

As Tech moves again, pushing his thigh up again, a surprised gasp comes over your lips. He pauses, as do you.

"Is this uncomfortable for you? I mean working in this position?" he asks cautiously.

You clear your throat before answering, "No, not at all"

"You seem a little tense".

You feel hot and cold and consider telling him the truth.

"I… it feels, pleasant" you say softly.

Tech tries to read in your tone, in your posture, by now he's learned a little, but he's not sure.

"Maybe we should try to release some of this tension?"

You pause again, listening.

"It sounds like you already have ideas about that," you say curiously.

He fidgets a bit, unsure how to proceed, causing even more friction between your thighs and eliciting another small gasp from you. Tech holds still, slowly looking up at you standing there over his lap.

With his index finger, he thoughtfully pushes his goggles up the bridge of his nose and says, "Oh, I see. Is it sexual tension?"

"I… what?" you ask, perplexed.

Instead of repeating his question, he tenses his thigh and lets it gently but firmly brush over your clothed pussy. The tool slips from your hand, falls clattering to the floor, and your hands automatically shoot to his shoulders.

When he stops again, you hastily let go of his shoulders. You feel your panties wet by now, your face and ears feeling red hot.

"Tech-" you begin, but he gently interrupts you.

"It's okay, I'm happy to help you release this tension if you'll let me".

He's still looking up, into your face, as he removes his gloves. Slowly, carefully, his hands move to your hips and gently but firmly grasp, pushing you towards his tense thigh. You almost automatically pick up the motion he's giving you with his hands, rubbing your pussy over his thigh. The friction instantly sends sweet, tingling pulses through your starved neural pathways. Your hands travel down his neck and over his shoulders.

Slowly but purposefully, his hands move to your buns and grasp, curious as well as hungry, kneading gently.

Somewhat breathlessly, Tech says, "You'll tell me if I go too far?"

Your mind is completely befuddled at the moment, all you can think about is that feeling, his hands on your ass, his thigh against your pussy.

"Okay," you say just as breathlessly.

His fingertips wander testingly and gently to the waistband of your yoga pants, slipping very slowly underneath and pulling the fabric down a little. Tech waits while you continue to shamelessly rub against him. When you voice no objections, instead rubbing against him even more intensely, his fingers begin to slide down the sides of your buns, under the fabric of the panties, and feel the bare skin underneath.

He gropes and expels a shaky breath. Behind his codpiece, the only piece of his armor he wears, his cock is already hard as stone. He hears you gasp and looks up again. Your eyes are closed, your head leaning back, your fingers clawed into his shoulders as your climax overtakes you.

With his mouth open, he stares at you, listening, his hands firmly on your bare ass. His thighs tremble, including the one you're rubbing against. He swallows, suppresses a soft curse, and surprisingly cums under his codpiece. Tech didn't necessarily expect that, at the moment he's grateful to be camouflaged.

Your eyes open and with heated cheeks you look at him.

"Thank you, Tech," you say softly, a little breathlessly.

He clears his throat and says, "Anytime."

Hunter

He smirks at you, you return his gaze questioningly.

"What's going on? What are you thinking about right now?"

He laughs softly.

"I can smell what you're thinking about."

You get hot and cold, you want to avert your eyes in shame, but he says, "Besides, I see you staring at my thighs," and taps his right thigh invitingly, "Come here sweetie."

You stand up, coming closer. As soon as you're in range, he unbuckles the piece of armor on his thigh, drops it to the ground, grabs your hips with gusto, and pulls you onto his thigh. Hunter grabs your chin, kisses you softly and says, "I know what my girl likes."

Indeed, he does. His hands move to the hem of your skirt and push it up, exposing your lace panties. Hunter smiles and looks back up into your face.

"Are you wearing some pretty underwear for me".

You nod with a small smirk.

Hunter's hands slide down your thighs, the touch on your bare skin, leaving a pleasant tingle that travels all the way to your pussy. Finally, his hands are on your hips under your skirt. He tenses his thigh, letting you feel it.

"Go ahead, get what you need," he says suggestively, pulling on your hips in an inviting way.

You start to move, and he flexes his thigh muscle to give you some incentive. Your clit rubs over his hard, taut muscle. It doesn't take long for your juices to collect and start dripping through the panties and staining his blacks.

"I'm going to stain your blacks," you say with a soft sigh.

"That's alright" Hunter assures you, "I can change later".

You move faster, massaging your pussy against his thigh, feeling the familiar tingle in your belly, the longed-for pulse in your wet slit. Hunter listens to your little sighs and moans, looks contentedly at your fingers clinging to the breastplate of his armor.

He glances down, pulling the fabric of your skirt up a bit more, and grins as he sees the wet spot spreading there on the fabric at his thigh.

"Good girl, keep going, keep going".

He is horny, his cock already hard behind his codpiece, but he lets you do your thing. He starts to gently knead your ass, sliding his fingers over your buns. Suddenly, one of his hands pulls the neckline of your top down along with the cups of your bra, exposing your breasts. The next moment, he has one of your nipples between his lips, his tongue dancing around the sensitive bud.

A moan passes your lips, a renewed, much more intense pulse starts in your belly and shoots downward, your thighs clamp around his as his hands reach for your ass again while his mouth lusts over your breasts.

"Fuck," you moan out softly.

It's almost time. He hums contentedly into your cleavage as he feels your thighs tremble around his. Your pussy contracts, your clit pulses and in a hot wave, your orgasm releases and with a heavy sigh, your upper body tips forward.

He laughs softly, his face between your breasts. Breathing heavily, you lean back again, your cheeks burning hot.

Hunter has been holding back all this time, but now he's so horny, the night is sure to be long and hot.

Echo

You're just getting out of the shower, jumping at him when you see him in your living room. Echo is back unexpectedly early from his last mission. You are wearing only underwear, your skin is still partially wet. You knock him over with you and he falls butt first onto the sofa, you land on his lap.

"Wow, sweetie, someone's glad to see me," he says with a laugh and returns the hug.

In the next second he realizes that you are almost naked and fresh out of the shower. His cheeks start to warm.

"Okay, we should agree that from now on you will always greet me in such a stormy and half-naked way," he says with a wry little smile.

The fresh air makes your nipples stand up, and he can clearly see them showing under the thin fabric of the lacy bra. Echo licks his lips, for a moment he can't help but just stare at them.

"Echo."

Startled, he tears himself away from the sight and looks up into your face.

"Yeah?"

You bite your lower lip, giving him that one look he already knows from you, the look that tells him you're horny, that you want something specific from him. Echo blinks, already feeling it slowly getting hard behind his codpiece.

He finally smiles.

"Need some lovin' by your favorite soldier?" he asks, slightly insinuating.

Your fingers wander to his thighs and roam over them testingly, his gaze following your hands.

"Oh, I see. A little ride?"

You nod, and your smile widens. Without hesitation, Echo removes the thigh guard of his armor and, wrapping his Scomp Link arm around you, pulls you toward him. Echo tenses the muscle, pushing it toward your pussy, toward the movements of your hips.

"My sweet, dirty girl," he murmurs suggestively.

His free hand probes your bare skin, stroking, kneading, grasping as you rub your pussy faster and harder against his thigh.

"You're all wet, aren't you? Let me feel"

You lift your lap a little, his hand immediately wandered to the fabric of your panties.

"Very wet, very wet indeed," he says with satisfaction, slipping his fingers under the fabric.

You moan his name as his fingers slide through your damp folds, two of his fingertips finding your hole and slipping between the slick walls.

Echo bites his lower lip, your pussy feels great, so soft, tight and warm. His cock is almost painfully hard. He fingers you as his thumb massages your clit, listening to your little sighs. Finally, he hastily pulls his hand back from you to take off his codpiece, palming his cock over the fabric. You reach under the waistband of his blacks and pull them down. His beautiful, hard cock pops out from behind the fabric.

His hand goes between your thighs again, his fingers gathering up as much of your arousal as possible, then he takes his hard length in his hand and starts pumping.

"Such a good wet girl" he says almost as if in a trance, "Sit back down, rub against me darling".

You do as you're told, humping his taut thigh, the yearning, tingling pulse building again, steadily increasing. The more intensely you rub against him, the more intensely he pumps his cock in his hand.

The second you feel your orgasm coming, you grab his face with both hands, entangling him in a heartfelt kiss as your thighs tremble around his. He moans in surprise into your mouth as he cums just a heartbeat later.

You release your lips from each other breathlessly.

Echo whispers, "Gods, I missed you."

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@bandnerdlevel43

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

[bonny-kookoo]

I'm really curious about what happened to tongue tied mc before she was with the boys. Can we get a glimpse of her past like maybe when she was coming to the hynr building or just in general when she was in a shelter?

Obvious Warnings for angst.

---

Sometimes, you think of yourself as a ghost.

No one really looks at you, no one talks to you because you can't hold a proper conversation, and so no one bothers to really try and interact with you. It's the same right now, as your caretaker leads you along with her and the new, unfamiliar people talking up front. They're talking about you- but it's like you're not even there.

"Does she need any safety measures or anything? We only have category two hybrids here, that's why I'm asking." A more older man asks, and your caretaker shakes her head.

"We initially put her at more of a category three anyways, but then in her last home things went a little wrong- you know how it goes-, so now most of her issues stem from past brain injury more or less." She clarifies, and the man nods.

"Alright so she can stay on her own?" He only wants to know, and your caretaker nods.

"Mostly." She laughs. "Its not like she can complain, so we just assume, really. But she rarely ever gets hurt; and if she does, she learns pretty quickly not to do it again." She seems to joke, and everyone laughs.

Except you. Because you don't think it's all that funny.

"Great, alright! I mean, I don't know if she can read so I didn't buy anything for her to I don't know.. occupy herself with, but I guess we might buy something in the future." The man shrugs, opening the door to a standard furnished small apartment. It looks like you; mostly white, no color, bland and lifeless.

Like a ghost.

"I mean, we can't tell either, so I'm not sure about that." The lady holding your hand explains. "Alright! You've signed everything, all is approved- I guess that's done then!" She says, almost a bit too happy, as she puts your hand and backpack into a younger woman's hands. "Now don't cause any trouble alright?" Your caretaker tells you, and only now does it really dawn on you.

You're going today. You're leaving today. You're staying here, right now.

And while no, the carecenter wasn't a great place to live, it's still familiar and comforting and somewhat home- you don't want to stay here, not today, not like this- but it's clear that it's not your choice.

Because it never is.

"No no don't cry now- keep a good hold of her alright darling? She's got a tendency to run off, and the last time she did- well, you see the results for yourself." Your former caretaker tells the young woman almost as if shes joking, before she leaves.

No amount of whining, crying or fighting against the new woman's hand is gonna help, and you know that.

But as a hybrid, you can't help your behavior, you can't help but at least try, at least somehow let the people around you know that you do not agree with this because they don't listen to anything else you do. They never listen.

Only when you're doing something bad- only then do they seem to see you.

And it shows, moments later- because as soon as you stop struggling, as soon as you accept your situation, the door to the apartment closes, electronic lock beeping to signal its now secured, all while you stand in the middle of the empty and cold apartment while rain patters against the windows. And weirdly enough, as you stand in the silent living room, no one around to look at you or notice you, you only ask yourself one thing;

Is this truly that much different from where you came from anyways?

[thatfreshi]

"Deny Him" (Uni AU P. 2)

This might be the weirdest party you've been invited to.

tw - alcohol/drugs slightly mentioned, light description of sex, hints at abuse

@justporo

You're a little shocked, immediately being invited to a party by a model who doesn't even know you. Astarion looks you up and down, his eyes narrowed.

"Okay, well you most definitely cannot go like this. Come darling, I'm sure I have some clothes to spare."

He doesn't wait for you, simply beginning to walk, expecting you to follow. You do indeed follow, and he just keeps talking.

"So what do you think of our dear Shadowheart?"

"She doesn't seem to like you."

He shrugs.

"Not many people do. I'm an acquired taste, for only the most refined palettes."

He goes into his coat pocket, grabbing his room key, quickly entering.

"I know just the thing to give you, mainly because I'm so tired of it sitting in my closet.

The room is quite nice. You put together in your head that RAs must get their own rooms, because it's set up more like an apartment than a dorm. The two of you walk into his bedroom, which is surprisingly empty. It's also quite dark, as he took the liberty of putting up blackout curtains. Astarion opens his closet, which is full of random mismatched designer pieces, ranging over the past six years. He's precise as he moves the hangers around, finding a floral jacket.

"Here. You can keep it. It's so 2017 anyways."

You don't fully understand what that means, and you're not sure if being 'so 2017' is an insult, but you go along with it. The jacket fits pretty well for it not being tailored to your body.

"And if you ever need some extra money, you can probably sell that for a quick five hundred dollars."

Your eyes go wide, suddenly very scared to ruin a piece of fabric. Why is he giving a stranger something so expensive? He continues to look around in his nightstand, you're not sure for what. You start trying to remember what you've read about this man. There's been a lot of talk online recently on if his eyes are actually red, or if they're just contacts.

"So, are your eyes really red?"

He laughs.

"Gods no. That's the magic of editing my dear. Technically they're brown, but they look red in some lighting, and my editors have decided to play into it."

"And the hair?"

"Oh, it looks far too healthy to be bleached. All natural darling. Have you never seen an albino before?"

"I guess I haven't."

Without saying anything, he finally finds what he's looking for, a short gold necklace adorned with opals.

"Now, I do want this back, and if you break it I will ruin your life, promise."

He clasps is around your neck, hooking it properly on the first try.

"There. Decent enough I suppose. Besides, I don't have time to give you a proper makeover. You do have good bone structure though. Anyways, off we go!"

Shadowheart was right, he really doesn't stop for anything. It's a little intriguing though, how fast his brain works. All of his movements are so precise, decisive. Even something as simple as opening the door, the way his fingers wrap around the doorknob is carefully thought out. It's as if someone's following him, looking for mistakes, jotting down everything he gets wrong.

The two of you make some small talk on the way to the parking garage, which he doesn't seem all that interested in. He still walks in front of you, his coat leading close behind him because of just how fast he walks.

"So, what exactly is this party you're taking me to?"

"Just something Szarr put together for him and a couple of designer friends. The seven of us though, we're expected to be everywhere he is."

You can't see him, but he says it through gritted teeth.

"Why?"

"I've always assumed it's to show off. He likes to make it clear that he has refined taste in models, especially to his peers."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

Your question stops him in his tracks, as if no one's ever asked. You almost run into his back due to the sudden stop.

"No."

He says it slowly, and continues walking again, cautious at first. Nothing else is said of it. When you approach Astarion's car, it's more run-down than you expected. It's clearly an older model, something that's been repaired multiple times. You take the shotgun seat. The car ride is silent, and you mainly watch the details of his hands as he drives. They're a little shaky, slender. You have to admit, they're quite attractive. You watch as he shifts gears when you get onto the main street. It's almost peaceful, the silence, the city lights at night. Of course, until there are red and blue lights behind you.

"Shit. I'm already going to be late."

He hisses, pulling over to the side of the road. Oddly enough, he doesn't go to grab his driver's license. Instead, he just rolls down his window, waiting for the officer to come up to him. You watch in awe at how he just doesn't seem to care.

"License and- oh not you again."

He slides his shades down.

"Hello darling. Nice evening, isn't it?"

"I can't keep letting you get away with speeding."

"Oh, what's five miles over the speed limit?"

"Illegal, that's what it is."

"I'm sure I could make it worth your while if you let me off with a warning."

His words become slow and drawn out, like nectar from his tongue.

"You're lucky you know people around here. Go on, get out of here."

And with that, the officer leaves, and Astarion pulls back onto the road, not even waiting for the police car to leave. You're in awe of his audacity.

"Did you just... did you just try to bribe him with sexual favors?"

"Hm, did I? Bad habits are hard to kill I suppose."

He doesn't say anything else, leaving you to ponder his actions. Perhaps he's a little spoiled at his level of fame, but there's something else, and you can't quite put your finger on it. Before you can come to any kind of conclusion, you're parked outside some unassuming bar.

"Here we are darling. Don't worry, this place has a basement level that's much nicer than meets the eye."

When you make it inside, there's a single bartender cleaning beer mugs. Astarion gives her a nod, and walks to the back, where a door leads to a small staircase.

"After you."

His smirk is different now, almost as if he changed it on purpose. You walk down, and he follows closely behind. The sounds of music and chatter fill your ears, and the smell of smoke hits your nostrils, almost making you cough. You try to clear your throat, earning a chuckle from the model. When you reach the floor, the room is filled with a thin haze of smoke, with plenty of rich-looking people draping themselves across velvet chairs, talking about whatever yacht they just invested in and what stocks they're insider trading.

"Well, look who decided to show up. Szarr's been looking for you."

You recognize this woman as Aurelia, another one of the seven. Her reddish-brown hair is put back in multiple braids. Astarion is slightly tense at Aurelia's words.

"What did he say?"

For the first time since you met him less than a hour ago, he sounds uncertain. The woman meets your eyes, and then looks back at him.

"Private business. I'd be quick about it. Sure being late won't help matters much."

He sighs.

"Alright, well take my friend Tav here. I'll be back."

Just like that, he's gone.

"Tav? What a fun name. It's Aurelia, but I'm sure you've heard. My, my, he picked a gorgeous one, didn't he?"

It's almost as if she's looking right through you. Then, you process her words.

"What do you mean 'picked?'"

"We often scout for other models, for lesser shows that Caz- Szarr, is involved in. His Winter showcase is coming up, and Astarion hasn't exactly been pulling his weight as of recent. I assume he found you to try and appease him. After all, your bone structure is wonderful."

The same thing he told you earlier.

"I assume though that he was sloppy, and didn't tell you this beforehand."

"No, he didn't mention it."

"Well don't worry. Szarr will give you the whole spiel on why you should work for him, the fame and glamor, the money."

She gets close to you, wrapping her hand around your ear.

"Deny him."

Before you can ask her what she could possibly mean, or why you should deny him, Astarion comes back with Szarr in tow. Of course, you've never seen him in person, but his energy is quite off-putting. His black hair is slicked back, and his neck is adorned in many expensive chains.

"And this is Tav? A pleasure."

Without asking, he leaves a kiss on your hand, lasting on your skin a little too long.

"I'm sure you've seen my work, and my gorgeous children."

Something is wrong. Extremely wrong. You don't know what, but his voice makes you feel nauseous. Why would he call them his children?

"Of course. Although, I will admit I'm not much for fashion."

His mouth droops slightly, but it's all an act. He already knew what you were going to say.

"What a shame. And here I was just thinking about how your shoulders would make my latest dress look spectacular. Well, I'll leave you all to socialize then."

As he begins to walk away, he lingers by Astarion for a moment, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"And perhaps lay off the champagne tonight? You're looking a little puffy."

His hand grips the pale man's shoulder, causing him to wince a little, before he disappears into the crowd.

"What did you say to them Aurelia?"

"Just that you were trying to pimp them out to our lovely boss."

"God damn it, can you just keep your mouth shut?!"

You must look hurt, because when Astarion meets your eyes again, he almost looks guilty.

"It's fine. I'll find some other way to get back in his good graces. Apologies Tav. Most people jump at the opportunity to model for a man like that. I figured you would be that same."

"Like I said, you're losing your touch. Soon enough you won't be his favorite anymore."

The whole thing is making your head spin. This whole thing with Szarr, it almost feels like a cult. Your anxiety is spiking, your body screaming at you to leave. You listen, and turn to make a quick exit back up the stairs.

"Tav, wait."

Light footsteps follow you up the stairs.

"No, this is weird! Whatever's going on here, it's not right. Something isn't right."

As you hit the top floor, his hand grips around your wrist, gracefully turning you to look back at him. He was right, in the moonlight his eyes do look red.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought you into all of this, I've just been a little... desperate. It really is fine, but my plan wasn't to make you uncomfortable."

"How do you work with him? He seems, disgusting."

He looks off to the side, clearly thinking about what to say. Instead of speaking though, his eyes meet yours again, his gaze bouncing between yours and your lips.

"Aurelia was right. You are gorgeous."

The tone suddenly shifts, and his hands creeps up from your wrist to your face, pulling you into a kiss. You give in, the attraction for him somehow growing. He laces a hand in your hair, and soon you're both stumbling back out to his car, forgetting about the events from moments ago. The two of you fall into the back seat of the small car. Maybe you go along with it since you haven't slept with anyone in a while, or maybe because you simply can't pass up the opportunity that's been presented to you. It's mind-altering though, the sex. The same way he is with everything else, he's precise and decisive. He knows every spot on your body as if he's studied it his whole life. When things wind down, and you both catch your breath, something in his eyes shifts, pushing his hair back into place.

"We should get back. Sure you have a busy day tomorrow."

With that, you're putting your top on in the back seat of a stranger's car. When you do get back in the shotgun seat and look over at him, you remember the police stop, and what he said to you after.

Bad habits are hard to kill.