#but because of the gag that he somehow doesn't have a shirt when it's on so he looses flag tag because his flag falls off

[humming-fly]

as expected the fma mobile game event side story that inexplicably features og greed and ling as high schoolers is just as wildly batshit as you'd expect - all these shitposts are all taken nearly Verbatim from the translation shit really was just that funny i still laugh when i think about it

(also in case ya'lld like to see it for yourself i saved all the screenshots and google translations to a zip file here though fair warning they may or may not be in order good luck o7)

[kneazle]

When Buck went to sleep last night after spending the day with Jee and saw no text from Tommy he thought nothing of it, Tommy was hanging out with Eddie after going to a fight after all. When he woke up and still nothing he brushed it off and sent a text of his own, knowing Tommy would respond whenever the two woke from a night of drinking.

He had no idea that when he did hear something, it was from Athena telling him he needed to come pick up his dumb and dumber—her words, not his—from the police station of all places.

"What the hell are they doing here?" Buck asked Athena with a wide eyed look of shock the second she came to get him from the front desk.

Athena scoffed, shaking her head. "They were caught drunk off their asses trying to break into a junk yard."

"A...junk yard?" He repeated slowly confused, "Why?"

They reached the holding area, and Athena let out a laugh of disbelief but Buck could hear the slight amusement behind it. "They saw a cat run in and chased after it."

"They- what?" Buck gaped at her.

"Oh you heard me," She walked over to the officer at the desk, "Can you grab Tommy Kinard and Eddie Diaz for me Reggie?"

The man, Reggie, nodded and grabbed the keys from under the desk before walking off down the hall.

"From what I understand, you told Tommy you wanted to get a cat as a dog would be more difficult with your jobs," She continued as they waited.

Buck sputtered, "Wait- they chased after a stray cat and tried breaking into a junk yard because I told Tommy I wanted a cat?"

Athena raised an eyebrow with a look that said 'exactly, idiots' written all over it. Buck sighed and rubbed at his forehead.

He stared at them in shock when they finally came walking out slowly, dragging their feet along the floor and squinting as they no doubt had raging hangovers. It reminded Buck of when he and Eddie showed up to the wedding looking like a mess except– somehow they looked worse. Their clothes so ripped that half of Tommy's shirt was hanging off and the right leg of Eddie's pants was completely gone, dirty all over, hair a mess, Eddie only had one shoe, Tommy was limping.

"You two look...like a disaster."

"Evan!" Tommy exclaimed a little too loudly as he winced at his own voice, and Eddie flinched beside him. Buck had to bite his cheek to keep from laughing as Tommy was obviously hungover and just spent the night in a holding cell, and still gave him a dopey looking grin.

"So..how was it spending a night in jail?" He teased when they were walking out.

Eddie groaned, "It would have been fine, but someone had to make friends with criminals."

"Eddie, we weren't in there for a vacation remember," Tommy pointed out. "Besides, we couldn't ignore them all night-"

"Buck, tell your boyfriend he doesn't have to be friendly with everyone," Eddie interrupted with a groan.

"I'm not!"

"You're on a first name basis with all my neighbors and you don't even live there!"

"Hey!" Buck snapped his fingers between their faces, making the two flinch. "Would you two pause this conversation to get in the car already? You two need a shower."

"Did he just say we stink?" Eddie frowned, and moved closer to Tommy. "Do I stink?"

Tommy leaned in, "Oof yeah," He scrunched up his nose. "Do I?"

Eddie did the same and grimaced, "Oh yeah."

Buck sighed loudly and mumbled, "I'm getting why Athena called you two dumb and dumber the more this goes on."

"He's dumber," Tommy didn't hesitate to say, pointing at Eddie.

"Hey!"

Buck groaned and had enough, opening the doors to his jeep to shove them in. Eddie made a yelp of protest but got inside, Tommy instead smirked at Buck. "You know if you wanted to manhandle me all you had to do was say so baby."

Eddie fake gagged from the back seat, "I heard enough last night shut up Tommy!"

"What did you tell him last night?" Buck asked Tommy, now amused himself as his boyfriend situated himself into the passenger seat.

"How good you looked tie-" Eddie reached over and hit Tommy upside the head, "Ow! What the fuck Diaz-" he turned to get a hit of his own in but Buck grabbed his arm stopping him.

"Okay that's enough!" He huffed and shut the door, quickly going around to get in himself. "Since when am I the adult here?"

Buck loved that his boyfriend and best friend were friends themselves– but he was so banning them for drinking on their hangouts unless he was there from now on.

"Hey Evan?"

"Hm?"

"Can we go get that cat?"

[unicornpopcorn14]

inspired by @sensitiveheartless comic

Thinking abt Dazai being infatuated with Chuuya's resting face after corruption.

Thinking about how he progressively ventured with how much he provided caring touches each time Chuuya is out cold.

These are the only moments he sees Chuuya completely resting, without anger or stress drawn onto his features. These are the only times Soukoku can even have silent moments between them, free of exclaims and insults.

The first few instances Dazai would just sit beside him, observe from afar the way his chest heaves and the blood trickles from his skin. The way he's completely vulnerable without a care in the world, like Dazai's presence is somehow grounding for him, safe. And isn't that the dumbest thing he'd ever concluded?

Then the Dragon Head conflict happens, and Dazai can't help but carress his hair, give him a sense of comfort after Chuuya just told him to never stop him. He doesn't hate it as much as he thought it would.

But then, as they resort to corruption more and more, he'd take a risk and hold his hand, maneuvering him to be more comfortable. It would be a pain to have Chuuya develop essential tremors for how his hands shake at these times, wouldn't it? So he'll keep them steady, never letting the blood stain the bandages, else Chuuya would figure him out.

The next time he'd hold Chuuya completely in his arms, because surely the ground can't be that comfortable, and he'd hate for his dog to get sclerosis or something.

And rarely, when they are truly alone, when Dazai is sure they're in the clear, he'd even lean forward so he's resting on Chuuya's shoulder, almost falling asleep himself. His coat is black, so it'd never show the blood smearing him everywhere. And Chuuya isn't that smart to reckon what happens when he falls asleep. It's fine.

Chuuya would be hurled the moment he conveys the smallest signs of waking up, even if he isn't waking up at all, and Dazai would collect himself with an inhale, struggling to fully accept his indulgence in these quiet moments, and knowing he'd miss them for how gradually shorter they're becoming.

And, in fact, Chuuya had already made the connection, seeing how he wakes up with blood smearing Dazai's white shirt, despite getting nullified solely by the wrist, and being wildely far away from Dazai every time at the result of being thrown, despite feeling like he was cozily held not a second earlier.

Though for how hard Dazai is trying to keep this from him, he doesn't find it in himself to be obnoxious about it. And really, he isn't awake for it anyways, so there isn't a risk of him gagging from how sappy this all is. He'll be lenient this once and grant the bastard what he guesses is some sort of comfort for him.

Thus he never brings it up.

[huckleberrykai]

hueningkai ~ laundry basket

pairing: perv!fem!reader x mean dom!hueningkai summary: when kai finds his sweet precious girl with his dirty shirt in her face and her hand down her pants he has to teach her a lesson. genre: SMUT minors dni you will be blocked. warnings: perv reader, clothes sniffing, fingering, unprotected sex, oral (m receiving), cum eating, kai slaps reader with his dick LOL, kinda possessive?? not rly tho, gagging, swearing (i luv it when he says fuck lmfao sorry not sorry), mouth spitting, creampie, i think that's it?? maybe a lil angst at the end (insecurity) if u squint but fluffy ending notes: this was supposed to be a drabble but uh. yeah i got too excited. thanku anon for sending me the perv reader idea sjkdnhk i hope u like this ! and thanku ashlee for the brain fuel :3 word count: 3.6k click here for my masterlist!

kai first asked you out because he thought you were the sweetest thing he'd ever seen. your shiny eyes and happy smiles had him falling before he could think, and soon it was the two of you against the world. as time went on kai thought it was funny how adorable you were from the outside, but inside... you're absolutely insatiable.

you think he doesn't notice the way you're always drooling over him - the way you're always subtly feeling him up whenever he hugs you, squeezing his strong arms or letting your hand slip up his hoodie to feel his tummy.

he assumes physical touch is just your love language at first, which he loves, but then he sees how you react to anyone else touching you... shying away like you hate it. he never comments on it but it definitely makes him feel special <3

what he fails to see (or so you think) is just how much you're affected by him - how you rub your thighs together every time he picks something up and flexes his muscles or whenever he throws you a flirty comment with a wink. when first you got together a few months ago, you both agreed you'd take your relationship slowly... but you were starting to regret that decision every night when you'd fuck yourself open with your dildo wishing it was your big strong boyfriend drilling into you and spouting filthy, sinful words instead of a piece of plastic with his cute, completely clean voice notes echoing in the background.

you started to find yourself taking his clothes and basking in his scent every night when you'd fuck yourself to the thought of him, and it was all too much - but somehow still not enough.

he of course starts to notice his clothes going missing, frantically looking for his favourite hoodie he's so sure he left on his bed... he finds it a week later when he comes over to your house for a sleepover - crumpled next to your bed. he doesn't mind, he must have just forgotten he leant it to you - so you cuddle up and all is well.

until he asks if he could take a shower after dinner. he casually grabs his spare clean clothes from your drawer and leaves to the bathroom attached to your room. he slings his t-shirt he's been wearing the whole day into your hamper carelessly and waddles off to the shower. you stare at the hamper for a good few seconds, willing yourself to be good and not take it - but of course, his desperate pervy gf can't help but sneak in there and grab his dirty shirt >.<

you bring the soft fabric up to your nose and take in his natural scent mixed with the lingering of his favourite cologne he sprayed this morning. you feel an impatient dampness growing between your legs and jump back into bed, clutching the shirt tightly in your fist. you slide on his favourite hoodie crumpled by your bed - which has lost his scent by now - but it still makes you feel completely surrounded by him :3

you feel ridiculous. you're in his hoodie, shoving your face into his worn shirt... and you can't help but let your hand slip into your shorts. kai would be out of the shower soon, and you couldn't let him see you like this... so desperate and perverted and so so obsessed with him, but you need to get off. he was driving you crazy.

who in their right mind was that obsessed with their own boyfriend and still didn't have the courage to ask him to fuck them? you, obviously.

your thoughts wander to his big hands and how much better they'd feel down your pants than your own, and you whisper his name like a mantra as you move your fingers as quickly as possible so you could just cum and hide his shirt before he gets out. unfortunately for you though, kai finishes his shower quicker than usual and almost runs out of the bathroom when he can hear what sounds like crying and panting on the other side of the door.

he comes out in all his glory in only his sweatpants and a towel around his neck to check on you, just to see his precious girl humping her hand with his dirty clothes shoved in her face chanting his name >.<

"hey... what's all this hm? needy girl."

you panic and rush to throw the shirt away and pull your hand out of your shorts, which only makes him chuckle darkly - a scary grin gracing his lips and a look in his eye you'd never seen before.

"cutie if you wanted me so bad you could have just asked... but you chose to be a gross little pervert and go through my laundry instead hm? and you couldn't even get yourself off~ pathetic."

his scolding makes you tear up and try to look away, but he's quick to hover over you and grab your chin, forcing your eyes to meet his. he grabs the hand you had been playing with yourself with and takes the first few fingers between his lips to suck on them gently.

"you need some help?" he asks softly, pulling your fingers from his mouth and pressing a gentle kiss to your palm.

"'m sorry hyuka. you probably think i'm disgusting..." you sniffle. he shakes his head and laughs a little, mean facade breaking to make sure you really were okay with this. "it's okay baby. sniffing my sweaty shirt is a little gross though~" he teases. "is this the first time you've done this? or do you fuck yourself over my clothes all the time? hm?"

he's just trying to humiliate you at this point, but he can tell you're enjoying him bullying you a little. so he continues...

"do it all the time.." you hiccup in response. "'m sorry 'm so gross and yucky."

"'m sorry if you hate me... please don't leave." the tears stream down your cheeks again and he kisses every single one away between mean chuckles as you sob.

"ah i don't hate you baby~ i'm not going anywhere. but you understand i'm gonna have to punish you for being such a yucky girl right?"

you can only nod, still blubbering with red eyes and splotchy cheeks. to say you're flustered would be an understatement - to be caught in such a compromising position and then finally have kai hovering over you like this, hair damp, no shirt and being so passive-aggressive has you soaking through your panties. he was so sweet, you never expected him to fulfil your wildest fantasies of domming you so harshly~ but then again he never expected you to bring it out of him so fast either.

he makes quick work of pulling off the hoodie and your shorts, leaving you in only a bra and your translucent underwear. he pushes your legs open and settles himself between them, running his long fingers over your panties.

"so wet already... are you seriously getting off on this? on being a disgusting little pervert? you know i see how you look at me every day, i should have expected this from you."

"no!" you squeak in an attempt to save the last of your dignity.

"don't fucking lie to me."

his words are laced with venom, and he deliveres a harsh slap to your thinly covered pussy, causing you to yelp.

"now lets try this again. are you seriously enjoying this? me humiliating you like a pathetic little slut?"

this time you nod. there was no use in lying to him, especially when he's like this.

"words cutie."

"yes!"

"good. yucky girl isn't so stupid after all."

he rewards you with a sweet peck on the forehead before he pushes your panties to the side and finally touches you where you need him most. he rubs your slick over your folds before plunging 2 fingers into you without warning.

"ah-!" you whine at the protrusion, and kai kisses your lips harshly.

"shut up." he mutters against your mouth. you try your best to keep quiet, but whenever a sound would slip past your lips he'd slap your clit harshly. he fingers you quick and harsh, the feeling so intense you feel like you could burst at any second.

"please.. please let me cum!" you beg as his hand speeds up. you could have cried even harder when he decides to pull his hand away completely, placing your uncomfortably wet underwear right back in its place.

"no. no i don't think i will."

"please! no! no! please keep going!" you cry, trying to pull his hand back to your core. "hueningie please..." you pout, tears spilling from your ruined orgasm.

"being cute won't work on me. not after i caught you fingering yourself like a fucking slut. you haven't earned it yet princess~" he sings playfully as if he isn't torturing you. delicious torture.

"on your knees. on the ground." he orders. no please, no trace of your sweet boy on his face - you're in trouble. and you're LOVING it. clearly he is just as into this as you are, even slapping your ass hard as you crawl across the bed to get on your knees on the pillow he'd set down for you - he is a gentleman after all.

"be good for me and i'll fuck you just like you want me to okay? open your mouth."

you do as he asks with no argument, opening your mouth and fidgeting in your cold damp underwear. you almost start salivating at the sight in front of you as kai stands up and unties his sweatpants before pushing them down to free his gorgeously flushed dick. you watch as he moves over to your door, grabbing the belt tie of your bathrobe hanging from the back of it. you knew what was coming before he even had to ask, and so you hold your arms together behind your back.

"so now you're desperate for me to tie you up too? fuck you really are a pervert. come on. admit it." he spits from behind you, looping the fluffy rope around your wrists and typing them tightly - though not tight enough to hurt.

"wh-what?" you ask, bewildered.

"don't act clueless. tell me you're a pervert."

"i'm not-"

"i thought i told you already, don't fucking lie to me darling. it won't end well for you." he takes his place standing in front of you, the backs of his legs pressed against the bed. you're eye level with his cock - hard and girthy and huge. you open your mouth for him and lick up his shaft softly - but he pulls you back with a scowl.

"nuh uh. not until you say it."

he takes his heavy length into his hand and slaps your cheek with his cock harshly. "come on."

"i- i'm a-"

"louder."

"i'm a pervert! i'm a pervert for you kai!" you almost shout, tears threatening to spill at the embarrassment.

"good girl. not so hard was it baby? my pretty perv~ stick your tongue out."

he taps his tip against your lips and tongue before pushing himself into your mouth. he encourages you to suck him off properly and groans at the sight of you taking as much of him in your mouth as possible. you make eye contact every now and then - tears brimming to your eyes and spilling so beautifully down your cheeks.

"more."

you hum in protest, he's big - but he gathers your hair into a bunch anyway and pushes you down on him. his tip hits the back of your throat as your lips almost touch his pelvis - but you can't bring yourself to complain about gagging when he moans so pretty with his eyes squeezed shut.

you swirl your tongue around him as he fucks your throat, and he seems to like this since his whines only increase.

"so fucking good. little perv knows how to do something right- fuck. gonna cum down your fucking throat." he whimpers. his brutal pace makes your throat constrict around him which only brings him closer to his high.

"you better swallow every drop." he warns.

and you know better than to get him angry now, so you blow him until he shoots his whole load in your mouth. he pulls out fast and you splutter a little, trying your best to swallow it all down. he taps his tip on your tongue again, letting the last drops of his release land on your awaiting tongue.

"perfect princess.. my slut.. so good." he sighs. "you look so pretty with my cock down your throat like that."

you smile up at him sweetly while he tucks himself back into his sweats. your eyes are pleading for his help, and he figures you deserve your reward.

he's not making it easy though <3

"you want your reward? want me to fuck you dumb baby?"

"please hyuka.. need your cock please.. 't hurts."

and so he happily unties your arm restraints and lifts you up, throwing you on the bed like a ragdoll. you squeal when he drops you, and your eyes blow wide when he straddles you, ripping off your bra and forcefully grabbing your wrists, bounding them together with the fluffy robe tie once more- this time tying you to the headboard too. he has you right where he wants you.

"not a sound, okay? not until i tell you." he says before hastily pulling your panties off fully and throwing them on the floor.

he knew you wouldn't be able to stay quiet - it was all in his plan to humiliate you just a little more before you finally get your sweet release.

with how enthusiastically you agree he almost thinks you might be able to pull it off ~ ''m gonna be so quiet. just like a doll for you.. just please! please fuck me!"

but he takes that as a personal challenge to turn you into a screaming mess just so he can pusnish you one more time.

"okay.. you ready gorgeous? you okay?" he asks genuinely.

"'m okay hyuka. just- please!"

"still so desperate? pervy baby needs me inside huh?" he taunts, removing his sweatpants completely and lining himself up with your still sopping wet cunt. he takes the time to tease you, tapping his head on your clit and rubbing himself on your folds. he can tell you're already fighting back your whines- especially when he buries himself to the hilt all in one go.

he hooks a finger under your chin and rests his other hand on your hip, leaning close to your face. "not a peep."

he was lying. he wants you to slip up so badly, and so he sits back and grabs your hips so hard they'll definitely be bruised in the shape of his fingerprints tomorrow - and slams his hips into yours.

he laughs meanly at you biting your lip to prevent a moan and angles his hips just right to have you weeping once again. "so pretty.. how can someone so cute be such a disgusting pervert?" he rambles. his eyes are glued to your boobs bouncing with every thrust and your face so scrunched in concentration. he can't help but let a giggle escape him at how cute you are - and an evil thought pops into his head.

continuing his rhythm, hitting your sweet spot with every thrust, he moves a hand to fondle one of your boobs - attaching his lips to the other one and attacking your nipple with his hot tongue.

with your eyes squeezed shut you couldn't see what he was doing, and the sudden stimulation to your chest catches you completely off guard and... "ah-!"

you feel kai smile evilly against your nipple, and he leans even closer to bite it gently - just enough to sting. you yelp, then he sits back and stills his movements completely.

kai pulls out, and leans off the bed to grab the dirty shirt you had your face buried in not long ago.

"no! no please! please keep going! 't- 'twas too much! 'm sorry kai i'll be quiet.. plea- hmph!"

he balls up the shirt in his hands and holds your chin with one hand and shoves the shirt in your mouth to gag you with the other.

"that should keep you quiet. pervy girl probably likes this since you like my dirty clothes so much right? you asked for it, choke on it."

he wraps a hand around your neck and returns the other to your hip after entering you again, slamming into you even faster than before. you moan freely, letting the fabric muffle the sounds slightly while your boyfriend rails you beyond comprehension.

your fucked out face has kai mesmerised, and he lets his hands roam to squeeze your boobs again.

the closer you get to your highs, the closer he wants to be to you, so he decides to lift your legs, pressing them into your chest to get even deeper. this has your eyes rolling back, fucked out expression and drool dribbling into the fabric of his worn-out t-shirt in your mouth.

"such a s-slut for me aren't you?" he mumbles out, words hushed and brain elsewhere as he watches your tits bounce again. "couldn't keep your hands off yourself for 5 minutes? too embarrassed of being such a perv to ask for my help? fucking pathetic."

you started crying again, feeling so humiliated and overstimulated and just so horny. you started making noises, speaking nonsense words muffled by the fabric in your mouth as you nodded frantically. pathetically. desperately.

"tell me. tell me you're my slut. my yucky girl~ only i can catch you with your hands on your pussy~ ah! only t-thinking about me!" kai yanks the shirt from your mouth and throws it across the room, prodding your legs harder and thrusting into you at a brutal pace. "say it!"

"'m your sl-slut, 'm only gross for you! all for you hyu- hyuka!"

"that's it baby~" he coos, sticking his thumb in your mouth and pressing on your tongue to keep your mouth open. "this what you wanted? creepy little perv? wanted me to punish you like this?"

when you whine in agreement against his thumb he spits in your mouth.

"disgusting." he taunts.

he pulls his thumb from your lips and smiles at you adorably.

"swallow and i'll let you cum."

and so you do, sticking your tongue out to show him your empty mouth as he grabs your face to check.

"that's right baby- fuck! 'm gonna cum pretty, you wanna cum with me? is that what you want? my little slut~"

you nod frantically and moan embarrassingly loudly when he starts rubbing your clit furiously along with his thrusts. "where do you want it princess?" he pants.

"in- inside- ah! please! fill me up kai- plea- fuck!"

he smirks at you, pace becoming sloppy as he teeters over the edge.

"thought so~ i'll fill you up good baby. bet you wanted this? wanted me to get you all messy... fucking pervert."

kai cums right as you pant out your next sentence, filthy words sending him into overdrive.

"your pervert- all for you! 'm all slutty for you.. obsessed with you- oh fuck kai! kai i'm- oh my god-"

right as you feel him fill you up with his release, his attacks on your clit speed up and send you over the edge, your walls tightening around his cock has him seeing stars and stilling inside you as you let the relief wash over you both. he rests his forehead on yours and presses a few lazy kisses to your lips that you half reciprocate.

"you okay princess?"

he waits a few seconds for you to come down, dropping your legs and pulling out with a whine from you both. "earth to y/n? baby? did i really fuck you dumb?" he jokes and you giggle - letting yourself come back to reality from the most intense orgasm you'd ever had.

"i.. i didn't know you had that in you," you mutter hoarsely. he unties your hands from the bed, and at the sound of your voice he grabs your bottle of water from your nightstand and helps you sit up to drink it. "well i didn't know you'd be sat in bed jerking off with my shirt." he teases, laughing as he sat beside you and rubbed your back.

"are you gonna break up with me?" you ask once you chug half the bottle.

"and why the hell would i do that?" he answers back with another question.

"because i'm disgusting and desperate...?"

"i didn't mean that. i mean i was a little shocked when i walked in.. and that definitely isn't how i saw our first time together going but.. fuck you're amazing." he comforts you, smoothing down your messy hair and planting a kiss on your temple. "plus... you seem to like it when i call you disgusting and desperate." he chuckles, hand landing on your shoulder and hugging you close to him.

"so you don't think i'm gross for sniffing your clothes? and weird for liking when you degrade me like that...?"

"no way. maybe a little perverted, and kinkier than i expected... but i'm into it. my little slut~" you look at him making a silly sexy face you and both burst out laughing.

"let me clean you up okay? you want a snack? or i can boot up mario kart? cuddles maybe?" he smiles his cute goofy grin, sweet boyfriend back in full swing - so you nod to all of the above.

you feel happy and satisfied at the fact he still likes you as you are, and that somehow you bagged yourself the cutest sweetest guy who could absolutely destroy you in bed. nice.

you're pulled out of your thoughts when he hands you a towel and a package of cookies with a kiss to the forehead.

"and next time when you're horny.. just tell me. the real thing is better than whatever's in the laundry basket <3"

nsfw taglist: @subbyjvnnie @mazeinthemoon @n0-thisispatrick @banggyu0308 @majestyjun @pumpkinkaiii @beom-pyu @txtistheloml @nightlytyuns @dido-of-the-endless + @agustdiv1ne

[peachesofteal]

read dd zombie au as a horror and zombie enthusiast and I had to say this-

what if darling was bitten but somehow "immune"?

she gets bit, symptoms come in but strangely she doesn't turn. she hungers like a zombie but the thought of hurting someone brings her back.

johnny and simon are kinda happy. you're not a zombie! yay! but the blueish bite on your shoulder says otherwise. at night, they tie your hands to your waist and bind your mouth shut, but apart from sleepy shuffling and grumbling, you don't seem to want to eat them.

the bagged mre's they try to feed you make you gag unless it's suspicious patties, so they guessed you were hungry, just not enough to try to eat them.

strongly believe that johnny treats you like a child. hand feeds you your meals that you reluctantly chew on, washes your hair and braids it ( he knows you hate waking up with tangled hair ) even brushes your teeth for you. he does this because you're too weak and tired to do it yourself ( no he doesn't. he does it because he hates seeing you like this, wishes he could cure you, but he can't. so he makes sure you eat and drink. he needs you. )

simon has seen so many people die to the virus that it feels unreal to him. he's still waiting for you to suddenly snap at him. however, watching the way you stare at him and johnny like you genuinely are there, it reassures him. he tries to talk, have conversations with you, make sure you remember. he despises having to leave you, though. he feels that if he take his eyes off you for a second you might pass or turn.

by the two week mark, you're getting better. the dark circles under your eyes are fading and the hollow dent of your cheeks is getting fuller. the mre's still make you gag, but it seems you'd rather eat those than a squirrel.

there's hope, they think. but if people find out you're immune... they'll try to take you away.

you can't leave them. they'll make sure no one takes you.

BITCH (affectionately) the way this is so fucking good. I LOVE a caretaking fic (clearly) and a protective Simon and Johnny. Love the idea of them on the run, hiding you, protecting you from those who are hunting immunes. Honestly could be an entire book. This scratches my itch so well. Love your brain.

Johnny just wants to take care of you. He knows you’re still in there, knows you’d be so distraught if you realized how filthy they’d let you become, so he takes him time leading you down to the creek by the campsite. He uses one of the t shirts they’ve been using as a washcloth to sponge you clean, humming sweetly to gentle you as you flinch against the water. Your skin is starting to turn back to its normal color now, a recent development that they both feel good about, and you’ve become more sensitive to temperature, occasionally shivering against the chilled cloth. Simon keeps watch, and you watch too, tracking Johnny’s hands with sluggish eyes and a half open mouth, tongue flicking between your teeth.

If he didn’t know any better, he’d say you’re preparing to take a bit out of him-

“Just gon’ brush yer teeth, darling.” He cradles your jaw with strong fingers and your brow furrows, confused when he pops your mouth wide, the little toothbrush you packed for yourself when you evacuated lightly scrubbing across your bottom teeth.

“Be careful, Johnny.” Simon warns, but he clucks his tongue.

“She’s alright. Cannae hurt me.” He knows you wouldn’t. You already would have, at night. Already would have turned on them, ripped their jugulars free with your teeth when they slept.

But you wouldn’t. Because you’re still in there. You’re still darling.

Once he’s done, fixed your hair so that it’s up but not weighing your scalp down, ensured it’s in place how you like, he passes you to Simon so he can make dinner.

Simon walks patrol at this time, and you go with him, listlessly walking at his side.

“D’ya remember last summer, when we all went to that carnival? You were so excited. Made Johnny and I play that bloody ring game against one another. You were so chuffed, I swear I can still hear you giggling when Johnny beat me the first time.” You moaned in response, something that didn’t sound quite like words, but more positive to negative.

Something catches his eye. A deer in the woods. A doe. Sizable. He glances from you, to it.

“Darling.” He holds your shoulder, trying to jog your gaze. “Darling, I need you to stay here.” He doesn’t want to leave you, but if he can get closer, he can get a clean shot off. You stare at him, and he sighs. “Alright.”

He makes it ten meters before the brush rustles behind him, the sight of you lumbering slowly towards where he’s crouched. You’re staring past him, watching doe with a glazed over look, and he tenses.

Once you get to his side, you look down to where he’s kneeling behind a bush, and then you start to, painfully slow, crouch beside him, fingers lightly brushing against his thigh.

You look at him, and then at the deer with a grunt. The hope that blooms in his heart is infectious, and he can’t fight it. He won’t.

Weeks later, they’re on the road when they come across a group of others.

You’ve improved, greatly, but your ability to speak never came back. You can’t talk, only point and make little noises here and there, and your fine motor skills are still struggling, (Johnny is still brushing your teeth for you, and feeding you. He doesn’t complain, they both have always loved taking care of you) and your pace is very slow, like you’re sore, and always tired. Simon is careful to go easy, not wanting to do anything to stress you or make your condition worse.

The bite mark on your neck has never gone away. It’s a scar now, rough and raised flesh like a fucking beacon on your skin. They usually keep something tied to it, but for some reason on this day, you had pulled it free, and they never noticed.

But the others did.

“Is that a bite?” One of them says, and Simon tenses, positioning himself in front of you, Johnny pulling you into his chest, protective arm across your shoulders.

“No.” Simon tells them, but they don’t buy it. One them stares at you, greed dripping from his gaze.

“Heard there were immunes out there somewhere. NHS is offering a big payday for one alive. Or dead.” He licks his lips, and Simon shakes his head.

“Trust us. Ye dinnae want to do this.” Johnny calls, but the group is already staring at you like you’re worth your weight in gold.

There’s five of them, versus Simon and Johnny, but they like the odds.

They’ve got bullets in three before you even realize what’s happening, Simon’s blade buried in the flesh of another’s neck in a flash, Johnny pressing his weight into the last one on the ground.

“He’ll tell others.” He spits over his shoulder, and Simon nods.

He will. And they can’t allow that. Can’t allow anyone to know about you.

The last thing the man sees is Johnny’s hands around his neck, and you watching half interested over his shoulder, half bored.

[artbyblastweave]

Okay, Time for that belated Shrinking Rae post-

In the comics, Shrinking Ray's "arc" (bearing in mind an extremely liberal definition of that term, they had exactly one scene showcasing this) was that he was implied to be developing an inferiority complex; he's not necessarily incompetent, but he's out of his niche, his clever shrinking-based plans kept getting upstaged by brute-force solutions from the more conventionally powerful heroes like Invincible. He's the scrawny, nerdy little guy with the joke powers, he never gets a win, and in most fights he literally isn't visible. In the fight with the Lizard League his death is framed as pathetic and ineffectual- there's one or two panels between "I'll make you pay!" and getting eaten alive by Komodo. All of this is doing a couple of things- it's emphasizing that again, this is in fact a story and setting where superheroes sometimes just die really badly with limited fanfare- a thing that IIRC hadn't happened since the original Guardians team wipe in issue 7. Second, it's an indicator that the new Guardians are structurally kind of on the ropes. They're heavily staffed by second stringers, they exact second they have to split their forces they suffer a 66 percent casualty rate, and that's with backing from two capes who aren't actually part of the team. Grim! Anyway, when they do the adaptation Shrinking Ray becomes Shrinking Rae, because they want to tweak the gender balance of the cast and the pun is too good to pass up. But I think that there was a reasonable reluctance to transfer the "arc" from the comics one-to-one, because to be blunt, "Ineffectual Nebbish Glasses-wearer who whines a lot and dies pathetically," paired with absolutely nothing else, is gonna read as misogynistic if the character is a woman now. So in the adaptation Rae is markedly more competent. We're introduced to her taking down a much larger opponent by fucking around inside his ear canal, which becomes a favored trick of hers. There are traces of the self-esteem thing- the visual gag where she physically shrinks about a foot when getting chewed out in the briefing- but the overall throughline isn't "look at this loser who somehow ended up on the guardians." In the Lizard League fight, she doesn't get eaten- she's deliberately trying to execute a Thanus maneuver and just fucks it up, seconds after successfully killing a different villain the same way. And there's a second where it looks like it might work, too, before hope is cruelly yanked away. Which makes for a markedly cooler death scene- but who died? What was actually going on with her? Anything? In some sense she's cooler, but it's kind of an undifferentiated cool. She had what, Six lines? Seven? On balance I think Rae is still doing her fundamental job in the story, which is to pad the Guardians roster for a while and have someone who actually dies and stays dead as a result of the Lizard League fight- but I think they definitely missed an opportunity to give her some more texture than her comic counterpart had. Part of me thinks that the show would have been a good place to go even harder on Shrinking Rae being in over her head, but in a considered way, to emphasize that the Guardians aren't well managed- maybe tie it into the tensions between Robot and Immortal regarding sustainable team management practices. Part of me thinks you should go the other way, that if you're gonna do away with the idea she's underwhelming you should blow up her role, have her actually say and do some things that affect the story or the team dynamic in any noticeable way, because as it stands she's kind of visibly siloed as the designated mauve shirt. I'm definitely of one mind that this showcases something I suspected was gonna bite the show in the ass, which is that they're (laudably) diversifying a secondary and tertiary cast whose main role in the source material is often to die badly or fade out of focus.

[gojofavho3]

Ngl, I was really horny and sleepy while doing this, AND ALSO there so little when it comes to toji x male reader, so why not doing it now?

Also English it's not my first language, and I'm not really the best writer, at least that's what I think but that is for you to judge

This story contains heavily smut, read at your own risk ‼️

A few months ago you let toji fushiguro live with you, He was going through some crises after his wife died, and he spent a lot of his money gambling after coming back for his old tendencies, so he was totally homeless. with that you let him and his son to live with you

You knew toji for a long time, 3-5 years, he usually would go to the bar you worked almost every night, and with time, you two got close

and it led you to where you are now

Legs spred wide, handcuffed with your hands attached to the headboard legs, d1ck overstimulated of coming so much in that night, blindfolded, Some headphones with loud music so you couldn't hear anything, his boxers in your mouth, why the boxers you said? Well because you don't have any gag, and I'm sure that guy wouldn't buy one

While toji is sitted on the chair Infront of the bed looking directly to your hole while smoking some cigarette that you had in the pack of cigarettes in the kitchen table

Staring especially in his cum that is leaving your pretty hole right now as it doing a mini pool on the bed sheets covering the blue sheets between your legs to white as your chest goes up and down like kenjaku jumping on itadori father

Toji gets up and walks slowly to you, butt naked, still with the cigarette in hand, as he takes the blindfold and headphones, Throwing them to the other side of the bed, you hear the headphones hitting on the wall

phumb!!

you can still some parts of the music because they're not so far away.

While your focus on that, toji is looking in your watery eyes as he bends over and gives a small kiss on the tears, as your attention is on him again, his hands travel over your body, turning you onto your stomach, Then grabbing your ass, spreading your butt cheeks with one hand looking at your asshole, as he sits on your back, you can feel his balls making contact with your upper part of your back

He rubbs it with his thumb open it a little more, he puts the cigarette on your hole. Your eyes wined as your feel you hole squeezing it, as you try to say something, but can't because of his boxers on your mouth

After a few seconds he takes it out, putting the cigarette on the ashtray in the headboard next to the bed, he slaps your ass lightly, starting to eat you out, you moan and whimper through the boxers, as he stays there eating you out for like .... 15? 20 minutes maybe? You cummed at least two times, in those two toji leaked all like it was cake

No matter how many time passed it or how many times you cummed, it looked like the clook didn't move not even a inche, you were tired but very satisfied

He finally stops, getting out of your back, taking the wet boxers out of your mouth as you give a loud breath trough your mouth

He goes to bathroom putting the boxers there and take paper to clean you off, as your conscious goes away closing your eyes as you feel the world doing spins, as you feel your arms free and toji cleaning you up

After some time he puts one of his shirts, like one of the 3 he has, and cleans boxers, as he puts you inside the covers, yes, he also cleaned the wet spots that you soiled with your juices, well, not only your juices

As toji still doesn't know much about pda, he didn't join you in bed, he just stared at your sleepy form for a bit with a slight smile, And then he went to the living room to think about the things watching some random shit

" hm... next time I should go rougher, this was just to experience, for now.. "

Well, and where was Megumi in all this? Don't worry, dear reader, somehow toji managed to convince Shiu to take care of him, after all, it wasn't the first time that it happened

I started this at 1:34

It's 4:25 am, I need to sleep so bad, I rushed a little at the end tbh

Well, till next time

[melancholymegumi]

melody's current thoughts…💭

yandere!shindo with a girl that really , really needs to shut the fuck up.

content warning : yo’s 2 faced and he snaps , spankings , figging , neglect , reader doesn't eat food properly , belt use , shit writing it's the afternoon and I'm surviving of a granola bar , Yo is referred to as “daddy” , mentions of reader getting 'grounded', ddlg , implied yan dad bf!yo tell me if I need more warning..

Shindo’s tired. he loves you by all means, that's the whole reason he kidnapped you after all! he loves you, and never wants to let you go. But god , for fuck sakes you are a handful. He's nice, he brings you food, gives you freedom to explore the outside of the house (that is covered with trees and bodyguards, but is equipped with slides , swings and classic playground stuff.

He gets that getting kidnapped and only having access to a TV and only allowed watching shows that he approves are a bit boring, especially since all of the movies are pg 13. He's just worried for you! He doesn't want you to see all the nasty blood stuff– you're not ready. It's why he kidnapped you in the first place. But still, why can't you leave him alone or be good for one second? Eat your food. It's not hard, but because it isn't your usual food– of course you're not eating it.

Untill, he finally fucking snapped. “you know what sweetheart? You don't wanna eat? Fine. You don't wanna talk to me because you're throwing your tantrums? Good. Since you don't wanna talk, I'm not fucking talking you either. Not until you have some fucking manners and respect.” and he just walked off, slamming the door of his room shut. Don't worry, you can't escape. He has cameras everywhere afterall.

Finally, after about 2 hours he came out of his room. Familiar white-tee hovering over his body with his hair still wet, making the shirt low-key see through. You walked up to him, trying to sit next to him as he flipped through the movie on the TV. That's weird. He usually pulls you onto his lap. “daddy?” no response. That's when it hits you, he's actually ignoring you. He didn't even utter a word , pushing you back on the floor by his feet. Which made you tear up, sniffling and hugging his legs.

He's still ignoring you— what the fuck. He just kept watching the movie , not even acknowledging your existence. Not until you started apologising. “s-sorry! ‘m sorry daddy! won't be a bad girl again– please! you're being mean.” that's when he sighed, giving you relief. But you knew that's not it. there's no way he'll forgive you that easily.

Your suspicion soon came true– when he muttered under his breath, his voice pretty yet poisonous. “go in your room. I'm gonna go to the kitchen, and you're gonna go pick out a belt. I don't fucking care which one is it, if you still hasn't chose one we're gonna use the paddle. I don't want to hear any noises when I'm spanking you , got it? and after that you're going to scoot your ass to the toilet , brush your teeth and go to sleep. I'm not cuddling you tonight, since you wanna be a big girl and run your mouth. Be grateful I'm not washing your mouth out with soap.”

you , of course ran straight to your room. But there's still an unanswered question. What was he doing in the kitchen? regardless, you picked out a belt, one of the belts that probably doesn't look like it hurts the most. It's the one which he wears outside everyday , a Calvin Klein’s belt that was somehow thick and thin at the same time. He soon finally came into the room – something. “so you do know how to listen. Over my lap. C’mon.” You whined at his words — only for him to shoot you a glare, which was enough to make you shut the fuck up.

He laid you over his lap, shoving two fingers in your mouth, forcing you to gag on it. with the one hand he had left , he suddenly shoved something into your ass – it was a piece of ginger. The sudden burning and uncomfortable sensation made you squirm , trying oh, so hard to not bite his fingers– and then he suddenly spanked you.

“If you squirm, I'm hitting you with the fucking belt and that's how many days you're gonna get grounded. Start fucking counting.”

[russellinatussle]

Survive a Zombie Apocalypse w/ F1 Teams

Would you survive a zombie apocalypse with your favourite team? Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and just my opinion

(The team logos represent you so if it's coloured, you're alive and if it's in black and white...sorry dude)

Aston Martin

Listen, I know you're confident you'd survive. I'd be confident too. Unfortunately you(we) couldn't be more than wrong. This is a one for all, all for none situation. If they can save their own butts they will. If its at the cost of you, well, you shouldn't have chosen them to begin with. Fernando isn't that mean though so if you do manage to fall into a trap, he'd leave you a little note reading, "Enjoy getting eaten by zombies!;D" as a goodbye as he and Lance disappears off into the distance. Great!!!

AlphaTauri

I don't think you'd survive. Daniel and Yuki have watched their fair share of survival movies but when it comes to actually surviving in the middle of an apocalypse? Yea, no. Even if you managed to survive 99% of your journey, bad luck will definitely hit you during that last 1%. On the other hand, you could be extremely, EXTREMELY lucky and survive but this has a 0.82929292% chance. But hey, it's not 0.

Alfa Romeo

Yes, you'd survive. You have two of the chillest people on the grid with you. With a level head, you'd manage to escape with minimal contact with zombies. Valterri is the team leader here and has quite a lot of knowledge on survival in the wild and you and Guanyu are willing team players so you guys would definitely survive. Don't think Guanyu doesn't bring anything to the table though. With his fashion expertise, he'd manage to blend you guys in with the zombies. Instant survival. (Let's just ignore that zombies might smell your scent and just pretend that they're partially blind and have anosmia)

Alpine

You'd survive, given that the two of them are able to work together. I feel like Pierre and Esteban would be afraid to fight the zombies but if you do encounter them, they'd somehow manage to take down most of them. They're squeamish though so if any zombie guts get on them, they're gagging and trying not to throw their own guts up. They don't really have the foundation of basic survival skills tho. Fighting they can do but making a fire, cooking and foraging? Not so good at so be sure to be proficient in these areas or else you might poison yourselves accidentally.

Mercedes

You'd survive but George and Lewis will not. It's mostly because they didn't believe the apocalypse was real until it was too late. During the few days of the apocalypse they were still alive though, Lewis had endless optimism that kept your spirits high and George's dank humour kept you entertained. Wish he actually listened to your advice of wearing a damn shirt in the middle of an apocalypse but eh. But don't worry, after the Brits meet their unfortunate demise, you won't be alone. You'd have Roscoe and the password to Mercedes' TikTok account so it's not all bad. (It is)

Ferrari

No, you will not survive. With no decent strategy and non-reliable equipment, the zombies unfortunately get to you before you can even say Ferrari double podium. You won't die immediately per say. You'd manage to hold your own for the first couple of days but when almost all your equipment starts breaking apart or stops working, the end seems to be in sight. Charles has no self-preservation skills and Carlos is in his own head most of the time. If they were given the right tools, they would definitely survive the apocalypse. But you know how it is rn... You actually do quite well defending yourselves from zombies, probably all that built up Ferrari frustration. However, if you make an alliance with another team, you'd have a higher chance at survival. If the apocalypse were to be in a few years time though, maybe you'd have a higher chance at survival

Red Bull

You and Max would survive. For some reason, you lost Checo in the middle of a zombie chase. He's not dead, you just have no idea where he is now. Max would definitely know his way around surviving an apocalypse because he's literally the Google embodiment, random facts just stewing in his brain.

Williams

Might be unexpected (or expected), but you'd survive. They have decent survival skills, not the best but decent. Logan can hunt (cause yk Logan HUNTER Sargeant?? Cmon now), with his obvious love for fishing and Alex definitely has a route planned to escape the zombies. They're not skilled scouts but they have the most basic of basic knowledge of survival so yea you'd survive. One thing you didn't see coming was the number of animals you'd adopt on the journey.

Haas

Yea you'd survive. They're definitely one of the most resourceful, making weapons out of things they randomly find but you do have some close calls due to them maybe disagreeing on certain issues. They both have basic survival skills, Kevin more than Nico so if you have no choice but to camp out in the woods, you're not doomed. In conclusion, as long as you're willing to be the peacemaker most of the time, you'll be fine.

McLaren

You survive but barely. You have good strategies but your survival skills are 1 to none. Need to make a fire? Where's the lighter? Need food but only fish is available? Yea, no way. Encounter zombies? Defence is the new offence. You try your best to avoid zombies at all costs but if it's inevitable (which it will be), you'll try an alternative way that doesn't involve hand-to-hand combat with the undead. BUT, if you really have no other choice then to fight zombies, Lando and Oscar would be pretty decent in it. Lando's chosen weapon would be a gold club while Oscar's would be a cricket bat. It's kind of therapeutic actually, just smashing zombies left and right.

[whereonceiwasfire]

I saw @theshadowrealmitself's post the other day about what if a supervillain outed their secret identity becuase they infodumped to the cashier (who happens to be the hero) and you know I had to do a DP oneshot for it. It's a few different kinds of AU, so you just have to roll with me here.

Without further ado:

THE CUSTOMER'S ALWAYS RIGHT (EXCEPT WHEN THEY'RE AN EGOMANIACAL SUPERVILLAIN)

Automatic doors slide apart with a woosh as Danny bursts through the entrance of Hattie's Haunted Hardware Emporium, unzipped backpack barely caught in the crook of his elbow, one arm stuffed through the armhole of the gaudy yellow vest of his uniform. 

He's out of breath as he scrambles past the customer service desk, gives a frantic, “I'm here, I'm here!” to the startled employee behind the computer as hops the counter. He’s sprinting past stacked boxes of returns for the door with a STAFF ONLY sign slapped askew across the chipping green paint when a voice stops him in his tracks. 

“Danny Fenton.” The words drip cool disapproval, and Danny's shoulders immediately hunch toward his ears, his fingers uncurling from around the door handle. 

So close. 

“Y-yes?” He slowly turns around, his expression sheepish as he comes to face Hattie herself. 

She stands, hands on her hips, eyes narrowed, a MANAGER tag pinned to the chest of her tucked in shirt. The polo is the same hideous yellow as Danny's vest but has the Hattie's Hardware logo—a floating hammer surrounded by a ghostly glow—sewn onto the breast pocket. A funny gag, no doubt, when the place decided to open in the heart of haunted AF Amity Park. Less funny, probably, now that the store room is in disarray every other day because some low-level specter keeps casting stock haphazardly about and flinging empty boxes everywhere.

“You're late,” manager Hattie says, expression pinching. “Again.” 

“Aha. Yeah. About that.” Danny scrubs the back of his neck with a palm, teeth bared on something that's more a grimace than a smile. “The bus was behind schedule?” 

She doesn't look particularly like she believes him, which is entirely valid, since it's a bald-faced lie. But what is he supposed to say? That he got sidetracked by his new archnemesis, that freaking Plasmius ghost, because the guy somehow managed to compel an entire doggie daycare to do his bidding? What that crackpot needed a canine army for, Danny didn't even want to know, but he wasn't about to just let it go down. Stopping ghosts is kind of his whole shtick as town hero, after all. 

He’s just lucky the whole thing didn’t take that long—once Danny managed to snap his fluffy foes out of their trance, they kind of took care of Plasmius for him. Guess they weren't too happy about being mind controlled. Go figure.

But again, Danny can’t exactly just come out and tell his manager, well, any of this. As far as everyone knows, Danny Fenton is a very normal, very human kid—one who maybe isn’t great at the whole being punctual thing and has a penchant for running to the bathroom when ghosts show up—but otherwise exhibits no symptoms of being undead. He’s hoping to keep it that way.  

Manager Hattie’s eyes narrow, as if she can tell what he’s thinking, but she just gives a curt jerk of her chin in the direction of the staff room. 

“Don’t let it happen again,” she says, and he gives an overzealous nod of assent as he lets out the breath trapped in his chest. 

“You got it, boss!” he says, giving her a two-fingered salute and throwing himself into the back before she can change her mind. 

***

“That’ll be eight twenty-two. How will you be paying for that?” It comes out a bored drawl as Danny shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

“It’ll be cash—just—give me a sec. I know I had change in here somewhere.” 

“Sure, no problem.” 

Danny crosses his arms over the chest of his garish vest and tips his gaze toward the industrial ceiling, trying to find literally anywhere to look so he’s not the overly intense cashier staring at the woman across the counter as she rummages through her oversized, bubblegum purse for a couple of nickels.  

He hadn’t even wanted to get a job—staying on top of school, protecting the town from ghosts, and keeping his secret identity from everyone in his life was enough of a struggle, nevermind trying to fit his weekend sentences at Hattie’s Hardware into the mix. But turns out if you break your phone (in a ghost fight), lose a couple of backpacks (after dumping them in an alley so you can go stop a bank robbery), mysteriously misplace articles of clothing (AKA, throw them away because ectoplasm apparently doesn’t come out in the wash), or otherwise ask your parents to replace your crap enough times without a decent explanation, they’ll stop paying for it.

So, as much as he’d love to not be watching stacks of nickels, pennies, and dimes grow on his counter—the bottle-blonde slapping each coin down with a decisive clack before thrusting her arm back into the depths of her bag—he really can’t get fired. Not only does he desperately need a new pair of shoes after stepping in a suspicious puddle Cujo left behind (please just let it have been radioactive drool), but he has to prove to his parents that he’s responsible, even if he’s going through a bit of a “destructive phase” with his belongings.

“Eight twenty-two!” the woman declares proudly, hiking her purse up onto her shoulder and beaming down at the skyscraper diorama of coins piled up on his counter. “I told you I had change.” 

“Yes. You did,” Danny says with a defeated breath, scooping the first stack of nickels into his hand, and spreading them out across his palm. 

Five, ten, fifteen…

“It’s eight twenty-two. Trust me.” 

“Sorry, policy. I have to double check,” Danny says with his best apologetic grimace before turning his gaze back down to the coins in his hand. 

Five, ten, fifteen…

“Well, that’s kind of unfair, don’t you think? Isn’t the customer always right?” 

“Right, of course.” 

Twenty, twenty-five, thirty…     

“This is a bad look. It makes it feel like you don’t trust your clientele.” 

Danny gives a half-hearted shrug, not lifting his eyes from the coins. “Sorry. Not my policy.” 

Thirty-five, forty, forty-five…

“Well, I never.” 

Danny makes the mistake of looking up as the woman tsks, gripping the strap of her bag and giving him a scandalized glower.

“Sorry,” he says again, shoulders slumping as he lets out a sigh, his gaze falling back to the mess of nickels in his hand.

Five, ten, fifteen…

***

Danny’s fellow cashier heads up for their lunch during the mid-afternoon lull, leaving Danny up front alone, standing at his till, pretending to be busy in case Hattie wanders past. He types random SKU numbers into the computer to see if it’ll bring up anything, he flips through the binder of faded lumber codes, he sprays his counter down with a bottle of something that smells like death and wipes it away with paper towels that come away gray with grime, he sorts the air fresheners that hang on a display beside his counter. And after all that is done, he’s managed to kill about seven minutes. 

It’s almost a relief when a customer finally wanders up to his till. Almost. 

The man wordlessly plops a length of cord, a roll of duct tape, and a box of garbage bags down on the counter—doesn’t even bother to glance up at Danny, just rolls up the cuff of his dark suit jacket and checks his watch as though the point five seconds he’s been waiting is already too long. 

Danny manages to plaster on his best customer-service smile, hoping his eyes don’t give away the “not this asshole again”  that he’s thinking. 

Nearly once a week, buddy here shows up—way overdressed, with his smarmy ponytail and his suit—acts put out that he has to breathe the same air as the rest of Amity Park’s peons, then proceeds to purchase some of the sketchiest shit Hattie’s Hardware has to offer. Danny’s always left wondering if he should be calling the police instead of ringing up the serial killer’s checklist of supplies on his counter.

But, honestly, he does not get paid enough to keep tabs on Hannibal Lector over there, so he lets it slide. 

“Find everything you were looking for today?” Danny asks as he tips the garbage bags on their side and scans the code on the bottom with a beep.

The man gives the vaguest grunt of acknowledgement, and just before his sleeve falls back in place over the face of his Rolex, Danny notices the fresh scratches marking the man’s pale forearm. 

His brow furrows, but instead of prying, he just plucks up the duct tape and cracks a friendly joke as he twists the roll to find the barcode. “Already got the shovel and axe at home, hunh? Good for you.”

The beep is the only thing to split the silence, and when Danny glances up, it’s to find the man’s dark gaze pinned on him, lips pursed on a thin line. He is very much not laughing.

“Just ah—a joke.” Danny blanches as he gestures weakly at the items on the counter. “Because uhm. You know. If you had a shovel and axe, this would look kind of like you were, ah…”

“I get it,” the man answers frostily.

“Okay,” Danny answers, chastened as he drops his head and picks up the rope. 

Immediately, he can tell Sketchy McBillionaire completely ignored the sign in the hardware aisle asking customers to get an employee’s assistance with the custom lengths of cord—there’s absolutely no SKU or length written anywhere, but Danny makes a show of turning the rope in his hand anyway. 

“Shoot. It looks like your label must have fallen off?” he says, doing his very best not to sound too accusatory, just in case the guy really isn’t above murder. 

“I’m sorry?” the man asks pointedly, brow arching, and it is so very clearly not an apology. 

“Uhm. Well. Since you grabbed a custom length of rope instead of a pre-measured spool, there should be a tag on here somewhere. I need that to ring you up,” Danny tries, gesturing uselessly at the cord.

“Are you serious?” the man asks, teeth gritting. “This is just what I need right now.” 

“I can, uh, page someone from hardware to get us the number?” 

“No need. I’ll go get a pre-measure spool.” The words drip with derision, as if this is somehow Danny’s fault, as the man snaps up the rope and twists on his heel. 

“Actually—” Danny cuts in, withering under the man’s icy gaze as he snaps his head back around. Sheepishly, he continues, “Once the length has been cut, we can’t really keep it…” 

The man’s shoulders heave with a deep breath, his grip curling tight around the cord between his fingers.

“Fine,” he snaps, tossing the looped rope back onto the counter with a thud. “But make it quick. I’ve already been significantly delayed today.” 

Danny gives a curt nod, picking up the receiver beside his register and paging for a hardware employee, his crackly, amplified voice sounding weak as it reverberates through the store. Which is so stupid. He’s a literal superhero—can punch a ghost three ways into next Thursday—so why is he cowed by some guy strutting around the hardware store in a suit?

Maybe because he knows punching this dude isn't an option unless he wants to get fired.

Ugh, why do bad things always happen to him?

Danny tries to play nice—determining not to piss the guy off or lose his job—and schools his features into an affable smile. 

“It’ll just be a couple minutes,” he says.

The man gives a tight “hmmm,” crossing his arms over his chest, brows dropped low over cold blue eyes.

As the silence stretches between them, Danny awkwardly drumming his fingers against the metal till top, the urge to claw out of his skin grows unbearable. Against all better judgment, he finally blurts, “how’s your day going so far?”

“You want to know how my day is going?” The man’s tone drips vitriol, teeth bared as he steps in closer to the till. There’s something hysteric in the twist of the words as he repeats himself. “You want to know how my day is going?”

Danny tries to backpedal, jerkily shakes his head no, but it’s too late. The man gives a laugh somewhere just left of unhinged (why does it almost sound familiar?) and is off on a tangent before Danny can stop him.  

“My day started with a very unwelcome intrusion, weeks of hard work thrown out the window because of some insolent boy and his need to stick his nose in where it doesn’t belong. My day found me bitter and behind schedule, interrupted at a crucial moment because someone has decided to treat my work like some blasted video game. My day”—the man’s eyes dart to the nametag on Danny’s vest, heedless of the way he’s stiffened, heart beating hard in his throat—“Daniel, has left me thwarted, again, an extension of a dismal several months in this wretched town, a string of one disappointment after another. And now I’m delayed once more, stuck waiting here with you, for someone to perform a menial task on my behalf since you can’t identify a length of rope. So tell me, boy. How do you think my day has been going?”

It’s how he spits the word boy, the cadence of the diatribe, the implication behind the words.

Danny just stares at the man, wide-eyed, any kind of response at all sticking in his throat as his palms brace against the back of the till.

It's then the employee from hardware comes bounding over, her cheery, freckled face split on a smile, oblivious to the weighted silence. “How can I help y'all?” 

“I need a price on this.” The man practically snarls the words, snatching the cord and thrusting it at Poppy or Penny or…Genevieve?

Crap. Danny has got to get better at remembering his coworkers’ names.

“O-oh,” she stammers.

“The SKU actually,” Danny manages, and her expression softens with relief—that that’s all he needs, that she doesn't have to put up with this nightmare of a man before them.

She pulls free a small notebook from a pocket in her ugly vest. Thwipping through the pages, she drops a glance to the rope in her hands, flips a little further, then reads off some digits from her hand-scrawled notes. Danny taps them in obediently as Poppy/Penny/Genevieve turns the rope forward and back. 

“Probably about twelve feet,” she guesstimates. 

“Awesome, thank you,” Danny says, the price coming up on screen as he taps in a one-two and thumbs enter.

The man has barely moved, his expression all hard, sharp, unimpressed lines as he stands back and watches them with crossed arms. Poppy/Penny/Genevieve flickers a glance in his direction, then away. 

“Noproblemhereyougotalktoyoulater,” she says, the sentence coming out in one hurried breath as she drops the cord on Danny's counter and bolts. 

With her gone, it's just Danny, the silver-haired man, and the suffocating tension between them once again. 

Danny knows he should focus on getting the purchase rung through and getting the guy out of here, but can't help the beat too long he stares at the man.

He's about the right height, the same goatee, the graying stripe parting his long hair. 

“I don’t have all day.”

“Right!” Danny starts, shifting his attention back to his till’s screen, his pulse fluttering in his chest. Could it be? “Uhm. That comes to—” 

“Yes, yes, it’ll be on credit,” the man interrupts, thrusting a black card at him. 

Danny catches the card against his chest, holds it there as he mashes the man’s total into the debit machine. Before swiping the card, he turns a glance down to the plastic in his hand, his eyes roving past the long string of numbers and the expiration date to find the raised silver lettering beneath.

Vlad Masters. 

His gaze lifts, and he finds the man—Vlad—watching him impatiently. Danny jerks his eyes away as he swipes the card, hands it back, places the printed receipt on the counter to be signed. 

Vlad huffs—doesn't say a word as he fishes a pen from his inside pocket and scrawls a quick, jagged signature.

The arch of his brow, the condescending weight of his gaze, the impatient snap of his movements...

As the man gathers up his supplies, scowling, and pushes through the exit, Danny picks up the merchant copy of the receipt left on his counter. His gaze fixes on the V. Masters on the till paper, his lips twisted on a frown. 

He doesn't know how it's possible, but he thinks that man—Vlad Masters—is his archrival. 

Which means…Plasmius is a half-ghost?

[dark-side-blog3]

i wanna go up to ANY of the OM! yan brothers and just CHOMP.

yes, my rear will be red and i'll have a gag/mouth restraint in me, but its worth. i need to vent my stress SOMEHOW

I have a bad biting habit as well, especially if I like someone. If I don't like you, I'll wait for you to invade my space before I bite. But if I do like you, I will go out of my way to get close, and deliver a hefty chomp to arms, or face! It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

So I feel the yearn to show you love Satan by having him stroke you in his lap like you're a kitty, turning to face him with a face of innocence, leaning your face into his palm... And biting down as hard as you can. Satan won't snatch his hand away, instead hissing out a single-worded mantra of "gentle", as he lets you nibble and nuzzle into his palm. He would be more irritated if you weren't acting exactly like a cat that got too many pets, or is poorly socialized. And the comparison is all that keeps your Cenneds composure together as he reminds you that biting people is rude, but biting teething toys is okay.

Satan is surprisingly the most lenient, as none of the other brothers will take well to your love bites. Even if they don't really hurt that bad, its not exactly comfortable. It's comparable to a wasp sting. And you can even screw up their makeup or glamour (something that mortified Asmodeus the first time you nuzzled into his neck, only to whip around and bite his cheek).

Beel is the only one that won't spank you for biting but will clip a pacifier to your shirt, and eventually, around your head if you can't get your biting habit under control. He thinks if you're a kid that either:

1. Can't understand why you're being punished

2. Could understand why you're being punished if he told you that it's because you're biting people

Then, in either case, he doesn't need to hit you. You either could understand the situation just fine, and hitting you would be a dick move, or you won't understand at all, and hitting you would be a dick move. Hitting a toddler for doing toddler things isn't just cruel, it's douchebaggery. And sure he's a demon, but Beel doesn't consider himself that brand of evil.

This sentiment on corporal punishment is not shared by the other brothers.

Lucifer hardly needs a mention at this point, but yes: he will spank a bratty, resistent darling raw. Doesn't matter if you're resisting being babied in the first place, or you're resisting the rules by biting Lucifer. This disrespect will not stand.

Mammon gets strung up from the ceiling and left to hang for hours, and practically beaten to a pulp when he acts out. A couple of swats will do ya good! Mammon will let you bite him, sometimes, as it doesn't really hurt and he finds it sweet. But he doesn't want you biting anyone else, and that's more when he tends to step in and punish you for biting: when it's someone else getting bit.

Leviathan and Asmo and more likely to get startled and give you a chant of "That's not very nice!" as opposed to actually mad, as again, it doesn't actually hurt when you bite them. But both the cosplayer and the model get livid when you smudge their makeup or break their glamour spell when you bite. From there a couple swats will emerge.

And Belphie... Belphie, like Lucifer, is all for a spanking if you bite him. No, it doesn't hurt, but you can't bite people you like. If Belphie bit people because he loved them, you wouldn't have a hand anymore!

[vermillionsails]

Cat-Astrophe

A/N: I read @skullghoulz and @fairytalespider ask and fic's of Miguel turning into a cat and it was absolutely adorable and got my imagination spinning. This is inspired by their fic and ask. I highly recommend it if you need some nice fluff to read! I'll have it linked. There is swearing and brief nudity when he gets turned back but nothing too graphic but because of that, this is 18+ just to be safe! This also will be a part 2 eventually! this is 8 pages long and about 4,098 words. I wanted this to go out yesterday but, I had a slight delay. This story does bounce between the reader and Miguel's pov's. enjoy!

Summary: A rouge spell from a portal hits Miguel while on a mission and he gets turned into a cat. When a nice woman from his building (the reader.) Finds him in cat form in the rain what will happen?

Warnings ⚠️: afab reader, brief male nudity, some swearing, mentions of food, brief mentions of stress, mentioning of cheek skin being squished by a cat paw, and gagging. That's all I can think of right now.

It was a frustrating and antagonizing mission for Miguel. After this is over he’s sending Ben to help Lego Spider-Man from now on. It was a crossover somehow and a rogue spell from a portal bounced and hit him. The strange orange light from it made him feel sick immediately. After telling Jess to take the different Morbius back to HQ he tapped his watch hurdily as he stumbled through the portal his wristband made. His skin felt hot and itchy as he crashed into dumpsters and walls and his vision went tunnel. Everything starts to spin as he retches and falls over his body feeling heavy. Hours go by as he wakes up groggily blinking as he sees a shadow over him.

You were in the kitchen cooking pasta for dinner when you heard a groan and loud bang outside of your alley despite the rain. You put the burner on the lowest setting so the sauce doesn't burn before walking to the small balcony your apartment has. The rain splashed and coated your feet as you walked barefoot onto the cold metal balcony. Looking down you see a medium-sided fuzzy wet ball curled up by the dumpsters. You shake your head and let out a small growl of annoyance. Someone must have dumped the poor creature and ran. You can feel your heart tighten a little in sympathy as its frame twitch and shiver from the cold of the rain. You walk back in and wipe your feet off on the kitchen mat before putting on slippers and grabbing a towel and hoodie. Throwing on your hoodie and rushing to the elevator with a towel under your arm you pull out your phone and order some basic cat supplies. One of the things you appreciate about Nueva York is the fast door deliveries for emergencies. You look at your reflection in the steel walls of the elevator you look like you didn't think you’d be making a mad dash in the rain. Your plaid sleep shorts, old warn yellow tweedy bird shirt popped off with the green slippers and maroon hoodie. At least the cat wouldn't mind the door man….maybe the people in this building were a little snobby if you were being honest. Everyone knew Spiderman lived in this building so it made everyone act weird. Eventually, the doors ding open as you get to the lobby. You speed walk past the people checking their mailboxes and the doorman as you speed around the corner toward the dumpsters. The cat was bigger than you thought as you got close. He has brown spikey fur and big paws, big ears with tufts of fur too. You decided to speak softly to him. “Hey buddy you're okay, I'm gonna get you warm and dry.” quickly you lay the towel over him and scoop him up as he blinks slowly awake. “I got you you're okay, please don't scratch me.” Miguel feels getting lifted off the ground and engulfed in a towel. He tries to make a huh? but it comes out as a Mrruha sound. You hear the cat chatter in your arms as you rush to the elevator. “I know buddy it’s okay your safe now.” the cat's body goes stiff in your arms as you reach the elevator and escape the eyebrow raise from the doorman. The doors slide shut and the cat wiggles in your arms to see himself in the metal walls. Miguel twists and wiggles uncovering the towel fold by his face seeing a cat with umber eyes staring back. A cat! He got turned into a cat! He lets out a growl that turns into a yowl halfway through. He feels your body go rigid as he makes those sounds. “Hey, hey it's okay bud it's just you not another cat see.” you rub the side of his body calmly trying to calm him down. It didn't the cat kept growling and yowling at the reflection the whole ride but made no move to get out of your arms. Every frustration and stress in Miguel's mind, body, and soul rises to the surface as he keeps seeing his cat's reflection in the metal. He seemed to understand somewhat as he shrinks back into the towel growling softly. He has no idea how long it'll last if the spider-men back at HQ will find him. He sees his wristband nowhere on him not even Lyla could try to find him. The growling continues as he panics. You sigh having no idea how to calm him down so you adjust and tap in front of his reflection making him pause and look at you. “Good I got you’re attention, look I know you scared but I need you to calm down okay? You are safe with me You’re gonna get food and a bath and somewhere to sleep. We good bud?" His expression seems somewhat stressed and scared as he looks at you. should have bought some catnip for the poor guy.

Miguel continues to growl softly during the elevator ride. You are a kind person to pick up a lone cat you are he knows that and that's why you think he is just a cat someone left in an alley. thinking about what Lyla would say to him, probably treating it like a vacation. He huffs as he feels you walking forward and opening a door. The familiar ding, ding, ding as the door opens and shuts alerts him. It’s the same tone that plays when he uses the card for his apartment door. The wristband got him home to his universe to his apartment building. A moment of relief floods through him. If HQ figures out he's gone they won't have to go far. 

You get through your door and the smell of pasta sauce and noodles hits you. It hits Miguel too both your stomachs growling as you set him down on the couch. You put your hands on your hips after sitting him down. “Stay here I have to check some stuff be a good cat.” 

He shakes off the towel and sits on top of it. His newfound tail wraps around his paws as he watches you talk. He looks at you intently trying to figure out if he has seen around the building. You look back at him raising an eyebrow as this big lynx-looking cat stares at you like he’s a statute. “Okay, you are a strange cat but….good boy.” shaking your head you walk to the kitchenette stirring the spicy tomato creme sauce before dumping the campanelle and chicken into the sauce stirring it together you keep it on low before grabbing a bowl and hearing a knock at the door. Miguel watches you as you meander into the kitchen and towards the door as the knock is heard. He remembers helping you carry a big box to the elevator one day the in lobby. It must be a small world that you ended up finding him after he helped you. He jumps down from the couch and follows you to the door watching the delivery guy hand you the bags you ordered before getting him. You open the door to a cute delivery guy of course he is cute. “Hi thank you, how much?” he gives you a charming smile before answering “Oh yeah, 20. Is that your cat?” he takes the hand out of his pocket to gesture at your new friend. You look at the cat and nod noticing that he followed you to the door. “Yeah, I just got him today.” grab your wallet from your hoodie and hand him a 20. “Thanks see you around have a good one.” you nod awkwardly as the interaction ends. “Yeah you too!” you chirp back and shut the door letting out a sigh. “I'm done with social interaction today.” setting the bags on the coffee table before walking back to the kitchen and filling up your bowl. You look at the cat seeing him scurry to your side watching you. “You hungry too buddy?” Miguel tries to say yes but it comes out as mowww. He blinks in annoyance as the sound comes out. "I'll take that as yes, hang on." You set your bowl down again before going to the bags. You pull out a pack of toys, the scooper for the litter box, the cat bed that he's too big for, and finally the food. You go through the other bag and take out the brush, shampoo litter box and litter, and the food and water dishes. "All of this stuff is yours bud ....what am I gonna call you?"

 You look at him again he has brown fur that spikes out and is almost red? Eyes you didn't see that before. "Hmm, how about Drac?" Miguel blinks in annoyance again and lets out an annoyed mrrh sound. He'll never live that down if they find out.  "You made a sound and we'll go with it for now." He growls at you softly before watching you grab the food and bowls. "Ignoring the growl…this is supposed to be really good cat food so I hope you like it."  Miguel feels himself snarl, his fangs poking out a bit as he realizes he has to eat cat food. The smell of your dinner makes his stomach growl. He could try to cute you out a couple of bites from yours. His tail sweeps the floor in annoyance as he watches you prepare the food. It looked like human food the bag looked fancy but the food smelled different than what he was used to.  Setting it down by the balcony door you call to him “Here’s your food and water drac hope you like it buddy.” you grab your food and give him a pat on the head as you walk by. 

Miguel sinks a little as you touch him. Twice you’ve touched him and to his surprise, he isn't mad about it. It's been a very long time since he had affection it just saddens him a little that it takes him being a cat to get it.  “You okay bud?” after moving some of the cat stuff to sit and find something to watch you see Drac standing like a statue again looking confused and annoyed. If you had to guess. His ears twitch at your voice and he turns to look at you making a myrrh sound.  “Adjusting huh? Well, you probably won't like bath or me later.” You're talking to yourself more than Drac at this point as you focus on the rom-com on the TV. Taking a couple bites of the pasta makes your tongue tingle from the spices as you watch the lead bump into her ‘new love.’  He trots over to the food bowl as you talk and watch your movie. He gives a few sniffs before taking a couple of bites and immediately gaging. It tastes like a bad microwave dinner he would know Miguel has had a lot.  The lead gets asked out on a date as you hear a BLEAGH! From drac. Turning you see him lapping down water. “Oh, you don't like your cat food do you?” he trots over jumping onto the couch and sitting by your thigh. “Wha- no drac don't beg for my food.”  Miguel lets out a miaow and baps at your thigh with his big paw. he does it repeatedly, miaow bap, miaow bap, miaow bap. “Drac stop it you weird cat.” he lets out another miaow and grabs your fingers that hold your spoon as he tries to drag it towards himself.  “Oh my god, Drac really dude?!” he lets out an annoyed roaw as he keeps hopping a little and collides with the spoon greedily eating the pasta and chicken on it while making those greedy cat growl/gurgle as he scarfs it down. A pale red sauce covers the fur around his mouth coloring him as the food thief he is. God, it tasted good how long had it been since he had something to eat? He can’t remember. 

In between laughing you tsk at him. “Okay I think I know to fix this greedy butt.” you get up and grab his food bowl scooping some pasta into the food bowl hoping it'll get him to eat his cat food. “Okay try it now drac.” he licks his chops as he jumps and scurries over sniffing it and scarfing down the human food on top of it. Nodding you grab your bowl and eat beside him. You can hear him purr softly as he eats. “I think that's solved for now.” it takes a couple of minutes and you're done eating your bowl. You set it on the counter and set up the rest of the cat things you got for him.  Miguel zones out as he eats and hears you move around behind him. He licks his face after realizing he ate everything in the food dish. He laps up some water before seeing your shadow over him again. He lets out a mrrrh as you pick him up again. “Look I know this isn't going to be fun but it’s bath time drac.” Miguel’s eyes widen and he starts to wiggle in your hold. Bath! You going to give him a bath! Don't cats clean themselves? It's not like he would grab you up and wash you. Before he knows it his paws touch the metal of the skin and the presser of your hand on the space in between shoulder blades keeps him there.  All you hear is sad growling as you set him in the sink. “I know buddy I'm sorry but you need to be clean.” you make the water warm and cup it onto him before lathering up the soap on his fur. You hum a little as you get the soap on him.  Miguel wonders if it's the cat brain of this body or his brain that's freaking out before he feels your hands and nails lather and scrub his fur. It feels like when he gets his hair washed when he gets his hair trimmed. He can feel his body twitch and shrink down a little as he purrs.  You chuckle as he calms down. “See it feels nice huh? Like getting pets.” you start to cup off the water on his body humming still as he purrs. Running through your hands side to side making sure soap is completely out of his fur.  Miguel knows this is weird, once he becomes a human again and if you see him turn into one this is going to be awkward. How is he gonna explain to you? “Okay buddy I gotta do your face.” Miguel makes a confused mrrp sound before you trinkle water down his face and lightly massage soap into his muzzle.

Miguel keeps his eyes closed as you rinse the soap shortly after. The pressure of your hand on his shoulder blades lifts and he makes his body shake the water off earning a giggle to you. “Can't even escape that from a cat huh?” you scoop him up with a towel and clutch him to your chest.  “Couch time Drac.” he knows the drill by now settling into your arms and the towel as you flop onto the couch. Slowly you start to rub the towel against him drying him. You can hear him start to purr at the sensation. His eyes start to droop and shut as you dry him. He can feel himself purr again from the touch he isn't going to lie. This feels nice, eating dinner with someone, affection, the bath, your voice…okay maybe he's starting to like more than just the attention. He can hear your heartbeat start to lull him as his body warms up.  You can see him starting to fall asleep in your arms and kiss him on top of his head. He lets out a sleepy chirrup sound from the kiss. You can feel his paws flex outward and grab you. "Night Drac."  Even almost asleep he knows he's screwed, that kiss you gave him sealed it. He can feel you move after saying goodnight. That's when the sleep takes over.     Walking into your bedroom you set Drac down on the bed gently taking the towel off as he stretches out in his sleep. Turning your tv on and setting it on low you go to put the food up and turn off the lights before shuffling back in. Taking your hoodie off you throw it in the laundry hamper with the towel before crawling into bed.  Before dreams start he can feel your body dip into the bed. In his sleep haze, he lets out a mrrip sound as he moves and flops down next to your stomach seeking your body heat as he falls back asleep again.  You pet his side a couple of times watching his tail thump sleepy against the bed before wrapping your arms around your pillow and cuddling it before falling asleep yourself for the night.   In the morning a loud Ree! Reee! Ree! Reee! Engulfs the room starling Miguel awake. Looking down at himself he has his cat body still, he looks at the alarm clock and back at you still asleep. He stretches and walks towards your face looking at you still softly snoring away. He lets out a few meows and chirps in your ear but nothing. Huffing in annoyance he inches closer slowly reaching his paw out to pat your cheek. Watching how it squishes against his paw he lets out a louder meow. Luckily you let an annoyed groan.  “I hear it buddy thank you.” sighing a bit as you gently push his paw away to turn the clock off. stretching and rolling over turning it off you yawn and look at Drac. “Well, morning.”  He sits up watching you giving a softer meow. “You want some pets before I get ready for work?” if you had to bet money on something strange you'd bet it on the look of should I, your question brought onto his face. It takes him a minute until he inches forward. Reaching out you start to scratch under his chin making his eyes squint shut and purr again. 

He needs to get out more if this much attention is making him melt. The last few hours he's been with you have been calming for him. He wonders what your hands would feel like on his human skin instead of cat fur or in his hair touching his scalp as he cuddles into you after a hard day….this is getting complicated now. As he gets lost in thought your hands stop and he feels you lean over to kiss the top of his head again. The feeling makes him warm up and skink into the bed.  "You're such a weird cat Drac. I gotta get ready though as much as I wanna stay here." You toss the blanket from your legs and shuffle into your closet grabbing the blue plaid skirt, black tights, and black long-sleeved bodysuit. Today you had to shadow the anchorwoman on channel 19 before they let on or behind the camera. You aced your interview and the test report script so shadowing and taking notes today shouldn't be too hard. You set the outfit on the counter in your bathroom and walk back to grab your leather jacket and black Mary Jane's to sit by the door.          He watches you get ready for the day, this must be your usual routine. His mind starts to wander off again. Where would you work to dress up like that? Library? college? law office? He jumps down to get a closer look. As he lands he can feel his stomach flip and flutter. He lets out a confused mrrp sound as it continues. It quickly twists itself into nausea making his body feel like it's pulsing. He starts to pant and let out small yowling sounds. He scurries to the couch as he starts to gag and retch.  You made it into the bathroom changed fast into the outfit and started getting ready to do your makeup as you heard the odd noises coming from Drac. Heart sinking a little you start to worry was he sick? Is that why they dumped him? Walking out you look for him. He's pacing In Front of your couch he must have made it in there while you were getting things set up. "Buddy? Drac you okay?"  He hears your voice but the nauseous feeling and the newfound pain in his legs overpowers it as he gags and retches on the floor. The spell must be wearing off already. Panic adds to his body as he feels his limbs start to pull like taffy.  Slowly you walk around and look behind the couch seeing your cat puking and his limbs being twisted and pulled like a scene from a bad horror movie. Your heart sinks further as you close your eyes bracing for a quiet moment to grab him. You hope you can get him to a vet.  You get lost in panicked thoughts and Miguel’s in pain as orange light bursts through the room. it engulfs his body in searing heat and makes the inside of your eyelids light up. Cracks pops and groans fill the room as his body is returned to his normal human shape. His body shakes and twitches as the cold wood floor tames his feverish skin.  Opening your eyes you see a naked toned man on his stomach where your cat used to be. His skin looks like dewy gold in the lights of your apartment. You can tell he’s sick by the way his body shivers and sweats. Watching frozen you clear your throat not sure what to do. He shifts and looks back at you his eyes widening the color more red than when he was a cat. 

He sees you dressed up and looking at him in shock it's an awkward situation. He shakes his head trying to get rid of the hazy sick feeling overtaking him. “I-i can explain what happened I promise.” he tries to move and get up but, he falls back down his limbs feel like jello.  “Yeah you're going to have to, I don't know what in the fairy tale hell is going on but you owe me cat buster!”  Miguel laughs weekly “Yeah okay I owe you a cat, I swear I wasnt a cat cause of something weird, c-can I use your shower and I show and tell you everything?” you cross your arms and mull over his request. You hope this doesn't make you late for work. “Okay fine, nothing weird though I'll go get you a towel.” he turns to his side moving his arm so it covers his hips. His hair covers his face as he lays on the floor embracing the cold. “Thanks, I'll be quick promise.”  Walking back into your living room you lay the towel over him or at least try to with your eyes closed. “I can’t be late for work so if you can be quick that would be cool you know?” he nods and sits up wrapping the towel around himself it’s a little difficult sitting on the floor but he manages. “Could you help me up?” opening one eye to peak you see he’s covered fully and open them fully he really does look like the human form of the cat you picked up.  His hair even curls and spikes out like his fur. You reach out your hands for him to grab onto you, he grunts getting his feet under him and standing. “Jeez you're a big man.” he looks at you with an eyebrow raised. “I can't tell if that's an insult or a compliment?” you blush a little in embarrassment. “I-it’s not an insult your just tall a-and i haven't helped anyone like you walk somewhere.”  He chuckles again softly. “I know I'm messing with you, I'm sorry puked on your floor and you know was a cat briefly.” you can feel yourself melt a little. “It's okay will get it cleaned up. Let's get you clean first.” it was his turn to melt it was the same tone you used when he was a cat. “Mhm, that sounds familiar.” you roll your eyes. “Shut it.” he starts to laugh again.  “Nah I don't think so kinda like you this way.” 

…… And that's where I'm ending it for now mwahahaha! 

[rebuke-me]

dorky upstage headcanons bc I love them

they dress as ferris, cameron and sloane for halloween. they are the most throuple ever.

Jake usually ends up in the middle in bed, with christine and jeremy holding hands.

Jake threatens to cut the sleeves off his hoodies because both of them steal them incessantly. he never does because he thinks them in his clothes is endearing

Christine has to go on tiptoes with both of them. jake got her a step stool once as a gag gift and she almost hit him with it

jeremy plays games with them but when he plays on his own they both backseat game. ("there's a health pack right there jere." "I know I see it but-" "babe. zombie." "I KNOW THERES ZOMBIES THERE THATS WHY I CANT GET THE HEALTH PACK-")

both Jeremy and Jake learned how to use a curling iron because of Christine's theater shows. (jeremys better. he doesn't think so, though.)

Jake is usually the driver, and Jeremy and Christine have the aux. it's usually a lot of musicals. Jake insists he isn't a theater kid. he is a liar.

their clothes just kind of become a communal mess of a closet. they all wear different pants sizes for the most part, but shirts are free reign.

one time in high school, they played the phantom, christine and raoul in phantom.

they host game nights for their friends. (Jake is banned from playing monopoly. he gets way too into it and is no fun.)

christine cooks, Jake does laundry, jeremy cleans.

they're all pretty touchy people, in general. jeremy less so, but he usually ends up leaning on one of his partners.

they all make up stories about strangers they pass on the street. Christine usually makes their lives dramatic and sad, Jake is a romance angled type, and Jeremy always adds in aliens somehow.

jeremy fell first. Jake fell harder. Christine had so much love that she didn't even really fall, she was already there.

theyre all in love I'm sorry

[gildedmuse]

Play Pretend (Please Don't)

Part I

[All my writing posts should come with an @jhaernyl credit. She doesn't always have to say much, but what she does makes me want to write something just for her.]

Its Zoro's first ever high school party, but even he knows what it means when someone sets a bottle down in the middle of the floor.

Robin somehow talks Nami into it, and Nami forces the rest of them because she's just bossy like that (and too embarrassed to admit she's only going because Vivi is there.)

Without hesitation, Zoro gives a flat no. He came here to get out of the dojo, the cheap watered down sake, and because his friends wanted to come, that's all. He doesn't see why he should be forced to sit around and watching a bunch of people he only half knows or likes giggling and whispering about who kissed who based all on a random bottle spin.

Then Robin slides up beside him, though before he can her no as well she speaks right passed him.

Robin: Will you be joining in as well, Torao-kun?

Law: Why? Are you going to try you luck, Fluer-ya?

Trafalgar Law is a black haired senior with a wicked smirk that curls around his lips the same way his tattoos curl across his olive skin. Both make him look just a little dangerous. Like a knife, or an unregulated kendo match.

Zoro's ends up standing there at the side trying to look disinterested and too cool and super adult - but in a cool way, not like a lame chaperone or something - sipping from his cup of watered down sake, pretending not to watch as Torao kisses four different people including - oh how gross - that stupid Ero Eyebrow (who of course goes and makes this huge fuss over how he shouldn't have to kiss Torao since he doesn't want to and only even played this game because the beautiful, sweet angel Nami-swan ❤️❤️ ❤️ requested his presence and-) Torao just smirks and grabs him by his stupid tie and drags him across the circle, and even though Zoro wants to gag at the sight, it's also sorta hilarious to watch how fast the waiter shuts up. When Torao lets go, Usoop howls, tears in his eyes, as he points out thats Sanji's face is an exact match for Kid's hair. Though Zoro doesn't actually catch the idiot's embarrassment. His vision gets caught on that hook, the upward turn of Torao's lips.

(After he shakes it off he tries to join in and poke fun at Love-Brow being an homophobic asshole, but all he sees is Black Lung's wrinkled shirt and wet lips and arg, why would someone as cool as Law waste his breath kissing someone so stupid?)

Eventually Hancock declares that this game is for children and they need to go the ante. Who is up for Seven Minutes In Marie Joice? (To no one's surprise this very quick decision comes after she FINALLY manages to get her spin to land "like a love arrow" right at Luffy, who only even sat in the circle, Zoro is sure, because Nami put down a tray of snacks. He doesn't even stop eating his chicken. Just keeps chewing staring up as the senior girl makes annoyingly high pitched baby sounds and wiggles around like a worm before finally going in for the kiss, only to miss when Luffy dives down at the plate. Her lips brush Luffy's hat and she squeals so loud Zoro winces and has to cover his ears. Why are people so weird about something as silly as kissing?)

Zoro: What's Seven Minutes In Marie Joice?

Bonney: Something you'll never get.

Some of the kids snicker, though most just shrug it off as the two of them being siblings (Bonney is older, it's practically her job to taunt him in such a manner). Zoro still doesn't have any clue what it means, so the insult goes entirely unnoted.

Law: That's not fair, Bonney-ya, I've heard Princess-ya's friends all find him very "cute".

Torao flashes Zoro a supportive smile and winks at him, letting him know it's all in good fun, none of which Zoro doesn't know how to react to. Sure, on the one hand, He's certain Torao is trying to stick up for him even if he still isn't sure what it's about. Then again, he brought up Perona's annoying little friends who sit in the backyard giggling when he's trying to practice kendo. Zoro has a feeling he's being teased whenever they come up.

The waiter snorts and lights a cigarette, as if that makes him look older and cooler. Zoro shamelessly smiles when he chokes on his first inhale.

Sanji: Bonney-chan is right, as always. Everyone here has too high of standards to go with someone as brutish as you.

Zoro / Bonney: Oi! What would you know about standards love boy? / Oi! Watch your mouth you stupid eyebrow kid!

Sanji: My apologizes oh Bonney-chan~~❤️ !!! However, you have to admit, your brother is too afraid to even join in a simple kissing game-

Zoro: I am not afraid! Why don't you come outside and say that to my-

Hancock: That's enough! I demand we begin the game!

Zoro is so ready to march off when Torao scoots closer to his classmate Penguin, patting the ground beside him. He seems to have decided that Zoro meant it when he said he wasn't afraid. Which he wasn't!

Law: Come on, Zoro-ya. It will be fun.

Zoro is going to go, but this makes him pause. He can't help but think about about how Hiyori, Smoker, Robin and even old eyebrow all got to kiss Torao. Also, Zoro isn't a coward! That's just as important to prove, so it isn't actually like he wants to kiss anyone at all, it's all about his reputation. With a glower towards the stupid love waiter he goes and takes his spot next Torao.

The second he does Law leans in a little closer, knocking their shoulders together. He leans in until he's close enough that even his whisper knocks the three gold bars hanging from Zoro's ear together.

Law: You'll like it, trust me.

Zoro refuses to shiver. Instead, he hides his reaction in his cup. He takes a sip of sake, making a muttered sound which could be agreement or whatever.

Zoro still doesn't understand the premise of the game. It's like spin the bottle but now pairs of people go back into Basil's downstairs bedroom for a few minutes (not actually seven, but just typically just until Hancock seems to deem it enough time) and people whistle and cheer when they come out. Law goes in with Bonney who looks super annoyed, then with Smoker again.

After that time, Toroa comes out with his shirt half unbuttoned and a smirk that makes Zoro all warm.

The first time it lands on Zoro, it's Nami who spins. He lays on the bed and listens to Nami complaining about "that bitch Hina" . Zoro didn't know Nami hated the pink haired girl so much. From what he gathers it has something to do with Hina and Vivi having been paired up to come in here together earlier. Zoro decides to nap until Hancock lets them out.

He forgets to ask Nami what it is they're supposed to do. 

When he comes out Love-Brow nearly attacks him, which Zoro is fine with (he's always happy to kick that blonde pervert's ass) but Nami jumps in and calls him idiot for thinking that anything happened. Eyebrow goes on about Nami's purity (puke) then nicks Zoro for "striking out". Zoro doesn't really care about waiter boy's opinion of him and just shrugs if off as him being an asshole like usual.

Law gives him a sort of smile though and ruffles his hair before patting him on the back.

Law: Bad luck, getting her on your first try. Come on, your spin will go better.

Then it's Zoro's turn to spin...

It comes really close to Sabo and Ace which makes Law tense up next to him - it's barely noticeable except Zoro is hyper focused on Torao the whole time, to the point where the nearly missed when the bottle stops.

Zoro's wondering why Torao had gone all weird when he hears a giggle.

Robin: How fortunate for me, Kenshi-san.

When they get back to the bedroom, Zoro sits at the end of the bed, unsure what else to do. Robin follows suit, sitting suspiciously close to Zoro, who automatically crosses his arms, trying to look ready for whatever. Even though he still doesn't understand the point of this game.

Robin looks at him and giggles.

Robin: Would you like a kiss, Kenshi-san?

Zoro: What! No, of course not woman! 

Zoro: ....

Zoro: Is that what we're suppose to be doing?

Robin: I believe it is the "fun" part of this particular game, yes.

Zoro: *frowning* What's the point in switching rooms and calling it something different if it's the same game? Just so people can pretend they're doing something interesting instead of just kissing each other more? Tch. How pointless.

Robin: It does seem rather secretive for just kissing. *Leans in and plants a soft kiss on Zoro, who is too shocked to protest in time* Perhaps you should ask Torao-kun to help explain it's objective?

Robin goes on to say that it's alright if they pretend they did kiss, though Zoro doesn't see the point in pretending such nonsense. Not until they leave the room and Law lights up with this wicked grin, leaning in close when Zoro sits back down.

Law: See, wasn't that way more fun?

Zoro: *Stomach all fluttery* Hmm? Oh yeah. It was.... Great.

For a while neither of them get picked which it turns out is Zoro's favorite part of the game because it's mostly just sitting around drinking and talking with friends. And Torao doesn't get up to disappear with some girl or have a bunch of friends show up and drag him away. He stays next to Zoro the whole time.

Sometimes they'll talk about the couple that goes into the room and Zoro is working on piecing together what is the point of the game is, though it still feels like a waste of time. If you want to kiss someone so much why not just ask them?

He brings this up to Torao, who chuckles and says it's a fair point.

Law: But then why are you playing, Zoro-ya?

Zoro didn't want to admit that he's playing because Torao was there and, honestly, he didn't know what it was, or that he thought of all those other people Torao has kissed and hadn't liked it.

Zoro: I don't know. Bored I guess?

Law studies him and Zoro tries not to squirm under his gaze. Finally, Zoro snaps, demanding to know what he's staring about, when Torao's curious looks blooms into a smile.

Torao leans close again, speaking so no one else can hear.

Law: It's alright, Zoro-ya. I won't tell...

Tell? Tell what?

Law: I think it's cute. *Knowing smile* You want to practice before you ask her out, huh?

Zoro: Eh?

What? Zoro honestly has no idea what Torao is talking about. Not until Torao bumps their shoulders together and nods over to the snack table.

Smoker is over there, having left the game a while back. He looks annoyed but is standing there anyway while Kuina's younger sister - who has been a total brat until Kuina agreed to bring her along - is clearly upset about something. Knowing her it has to do with the Young Marines club since she's always going on about it.

Zoro: What? Tashigi?

Law's meaning taking a moment to sink in. When it does Zoro is ready to get all worked up because why the hell would Torao suggest THAT!?

Zoro is cut off before he can raise the point properly by a bunch of whoops and cheers that he's learned means two popular or attractive people or people already a couple got picked.

Tashigi is the last thing in his mind as Ace saunters over to a pleased looking Law, who takes his hand and pulls himself off the floor in a way that somehow makes Zoro feel dizzy. Can people just standing up be consider attractive? The two of them don't even wait to get back to the room, sharing their first kiss while standing right there next to Zoro.

It is nothing like the short, chaste kiss Robin gave him earlier.

It feels like Hancock waits forever before telling Shachi to knock at the door. Ace comes out with this devilish grin, his jacket and belt tucked under his arm as if he hadn't had the chance to put them back on.

Zoro pointedly looks at the carpet so he doesn't catch what Torao looks like. Though when he sits down  next to him Zoro can't help but notice he feels warmer somehow.

If Law notices Zoro isn't purposefully ignoring him he didn't show it . He doesn't really seem to pay any attention to Zoro at all....

This game is stupid, Zoro decides, and it's not like anyone will notice if he just gets up and leaves.

Law: Zoro-ya

He has hardly even begun to move away when Torao calls for him.  So maybe Torao had been paying more attention to him than he'd thought. Zoro turns to look at Torao, surprised the older boy had been paying such close attention as to notice the moment Zoro had moved

Law is giving him a weird look that shifts seamlessly into a coy grin. Zoro is vaguely aware of some people giggling and his sister raising a fuss about something or another, really only tuning in to her voice because the way she says "Trafalgar" makes her sound honestly pissed off.

Torao is holding out a hand to help Zoro up off the floor, which Zoro takes without giving it much thought. It's only as Law starts walking then both away that Zoro glances back at the circle if their friends and classmates. And noticed where the bottle is pointing.

Law: Don't look so nervous, Zoro-ya

Torao chuckles as he opens the door, ushering Zoro inside.

Law: I'll be real good practice for you, I promise.

[finniestoncrane]

How do you think the different Riddlers would react to being somehow kidnapped by an obsessive fan............. I'm not projecting I promise the boys just belong in the basement

Kidnapped Riddlers

Riddler Headcanons *cough cough* this isn't projecting on my part either...no one would kidnap anyone on this blog, not even silly little villains who might kind of deserve to be locked up for a little while NOT AT ALL 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: mostly fluff i think, but you know me

dano

this is absolutely not the way this was supposed to go

he's convinced you're working with the batman until you admit your crush

honestly, he's flattered that you watched all of his streams

and concerned that the conclusion you came to was "love"

but he'll take it, adoration from a fan is a sign that he's definitely on his way to making something of himself

but to be honest he's lost all motivation for eradicating corruption

he's quite happy to sit here blushing while you praise him

capullo

ooooh, this is kinda kinky, having him tied up like this

and the gag in his mouth? nice touch

but maybe you shouldn't have taken it out because now he won't shut up or stop complaining

like if you wanted him this bad you could have just asked

he would have come (heh) willingly

and if you're taking notes, next time he'd prefer that you were the one tied up

but hey he'll roll with the punches this time

telltale

you have exactly five minutes to explain, apologise, untie him, and scold yourself before he bonks you hard on the head with his-

ah...his cane is over there, out of reach

you're smarter than you look

which wouldn't be hard because the kind of person who would try to kidnap him is not a smart one

well, yes technically you did kidnap him

but it's only successful if he doesn't escape

and trust him, he will

you won't be hard to outsmart or outlast

young justice

bless his soul but his one defence mechanism is being so annoying that you immediately need to get rid of him

after maybe the 300th riddle it's likely you'll let him go

or smother him (with kisses???)

but he's so cute, you couldn't strangle a lil puppy like him

but you could duct tape his mouth shut, making sure not to damage his pretty sideburns

oh and now he's started humming an annoying tune

you should have known he wouldn't make it easy

arkham

you will rue the day you thought you could trap edward nigma

yes, someone like you couldn't keep a goldfish safe and secure let alone a genius like him

it's only a matter of time before he figures out the combination to these locks

and manages to get out of the copious restraints

and then figures out the password to the door

at least you've added some enrichment to his new habitat

but he won't be here long! you better enjoy him while you have him!

hope you soundproofed this room because he will keep complaining until he's free...

twojar

the ropes you've used to restrain him aren't as soft or sturdy as the kind he's used to but they'll do

interesting to note that you removed his shirt

see something you like?

oh he absolutely will try and flirt his way out of this

and there's a high chance he'll be successful

especially when he could provide so much more benefit to you with his hands free

just untie him a little bit and he can give you a taste

gotham

an infuriating subject for kidnapping

god only knows when or why he became so adept at lock picking

and where does he keep producing these pins from?

it's just lucky that he's a bit lanky and feels the need to stop for a dramatic goodbye every time he gets loose

which inevitably leads to him being captured again

you would think he would learn his lesson

but that's the definition of madness i suppose

unburied

understandable why you would want to kidnap him

but hopefully you knew what you were letting yourself in for

because he's not going to be easy to look after

he's used to being captive, and at least here he has a tv to watch

so he's not in any rush to return to arkham

but get ready to wait on him hand and foot

you were labouring under the misconception that this was a kidnapping when in fact

you seem to be catering for him as though it were a five star all-inclusive resort

and also you buttered his toast wrong again

[look-i-love-u]

AU Fic Game

Finally home after a stupidly long day of work. Let's see what my tired brain is able to come up with...

Thank you for tagging me, my darlings: @creepkinginc , @shinygalaxyperson, @energievie, @juliakayyy

rules:

use this au generator to assign you an au, this fan fiction trope generator to give you a trope/situation/sometimes another au, feel free to keep clicking until you get something that inspires you.

then try to come up with the title, plot, vibe, and details of a fic including whatever the generators gave you. you don’t actually have to write it, just put the concept into the world! this is basically just a thought experiment.

AU Generator: Criminal Minds Setting AU

Fanfic Trope: Write a story about one character being a human and the other being a ghost haunting them.

Title: The Milkovich Effect (based on "the Reid effect" in Criminal Minds)

FBI agent Mickey Milkovich worked his ass off to be in this position he never ever thought he'd find himself in. An agent with the BAU hunting those, he thought he would end up as himself. But instead of becoming a serial killer unde rhis father's thumb he'd carrying a badge now and rocking some tight black slacks and black shirts. Always. Exclusively. If you catch him on a good day, he might even throw on a well tailored suit jacket and sunglasses.

the real star is the thigh holster though. Because even though Mickey works mainly with his mind, in understanding people who commit cruel crimes, he also really enjoys just working through his frustrations sometimes... he gets in trouble for it. But he's also fantastic at his job, so his boss lets some things slide.

They have a running gag about "the Milkovich effect". It's basically the reverse Reid effect. Where children and dogs react weirdly to Reid, they flock to Mickey. As if they know he understands them, they just trust him. Soon Mickey will find out the effect also affects some other vulnerable entities....

in comes a call from Chicago. A serial killer is hunting pretty boys in Boystown. He soon gets the name "The Gentleman Killer". He always leaves his victims in hotel rooms and not alley ways. He doesn't leave marks on their bodies and covers their eyes with silk scarves and leaves a tip on their body.

There have been four victims when the BAU gets called in. When Mickey arrives in the city he always dreads visiting he gets partnered up to visit the newest crime scene with victim no.5. His name is Ian "Curtis" Gallagher. A dancer and bar tender down in boystown. Mickey barely can catch a glimpse at him when one of the technicians cry out that the victim still has a pulse.

Ian gets rushed to hospital. He's a fighter. He's in a coma but Mickey doesn't know. He expects that the guy, who's name he doesn't know since he had no ID with him, won't make it.

He knows he definitely didn't make it when he wakes up to a weird ginger looking... thing in his hotel room. He screams. It's embarrassing. but hey... there's a fucking ghost in his bedroom!

Ian follows Mickey around everywhere. Looks at evidence, asks questions, visits family members to question them. Uses his floatiness to look through people's stuff without a warrant.

Basically he is super annoying and super helpful and Mickey and his silvery shadowy somehow grow closer. Share their stories with each other. Ian thinks he's probably dead too.

Maybe makes Mickey feel guilty so he visits Ian's family and gives them some last messages...

They solve the case in the mean time of course. A doctor named Lloyd, going by Ned, gets arrested for being "The Gentleman".

As a goodbye present Mickey goes to visit the Gallaghers. He realizes he knew Ian as a kid. He also realizes he somehow, kinda, has the hots for a ghost? Who very surely watched him sleep and get off? Maybe some weird ghost shivery touching happened?! Hm... anyway... Mickey finds the Gallaghers sad and stressed out. He gets shouted at. Punched by Lip. Followed by driven to the hospital by Debbie who shows him that Ian really isn't dead and he's the one victim who didn't die at the hands of Lloyd Lishman.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck

Ian has a meltdown and touches his body which causes him to jerk and sputter and... wake up??!

aaaaaand he looks at Mickey and... Mickey touches his hand and he's real aaaaand that's the end.

I'm tagging: @michellemisfit, @ian-galagher, @surviving-maybe, @vintagelacerosette, @suzy-queued, @ardent-fox