#but hopefully i got my point across

[foggybear42]

just now realizing the irony(??) in me using a doctor who ringtone for my meds reminder

[sobuildabeautifulcity]

Your disappointment warrants a disclaimer though, otherwise you're seeding a certain sentiment a lot of trolls and shill are trying to whip up. Don't be that person who thinks writers and actors owe you endless content for less than a living wage.

i respect your opinion and you’re not strictly incorrect but… thats not my point lol & you’ve kinda proved my issue.

the main part of my thoughts was that i have an issue with, and i quote: not being able to post when you’re experiencing multiple conflicting feelings without explaining all of them without being attacked.

it’s not only about the strikes, it’s anything that someone thinks you cant have complicated emotions towards if you don’t explicitly say so. my example was about the strikes because thats the most recent thing i’ve seen, but it’s more than that. not allowing people to express only their negative feelings in their own space online, simply because it might overlap with people being dicks intentionally about it isn’t the right way to go about it. for example, saying you’re disappointed because your favourite band pushed back their album release doesn’t mean you’re not sympathetic to the fact they delayed it due to health issues, it just means you’re disappointed because you were excited about it & had planned for it happening on a specific day. you expressing that upset online shouldn’t need to involve a disclaimer, because it should be implied - until proven otherwise - that you care about your band’s wellbeing. if you send a string of posts abusing the band for postponing it, yeh, youre a dick. but if you send one which is ‘aw man this sucks so much we wont get the album’, thats not something you should associate with the people being dicks about it despite it being negative in tone.

idk, i like to assume the best of people rather than thinking they’re dicks & don’t feel a complicated way about things.

if someone expresses disappointment about their plans changing due to something, that doesn’t mean they disagree with the thing that changes their plans? it solely means they are disappointed that their expectations for the coming time period changed & to assume otherwise unless proven only makes your worldview more negative.

this… insistence that all your feelings must be explained entirely and in full in order for you to grumble about something online is exhausting, and unnecessary if you simply assume the best of people. and, quite frankly, it is why i stopped using my tumblr for anything beyond reblogging stuff until recently.

i’ll add a disclaimer here, as well as the one that’s in the tags, bc my point is being proven lol: i support pretty much all unions & their decisions to strike (us police unions are not included hence my ‘pretty much all’). i am 100% sure that the wga & sag aftra should strike & fully support them doing so, shutting down hollywood is a great way to have bargaining power. the conditions they are expected to work under are abhorrent & they need better protection. it is also absurd to say that you can’t express disappointment about things you were looking forward to being cancelled without needing to add a disclaimer that your frustration is aimed at the other side of the negotiations for not capitulating, and not at the sag members. if you are posting your feelings on your blog, you should not need to caveat those feelings. the default of people assuming the worst of others makes the world a worse place.

i have a tendency to over explain my point so that it gets across, and often that means my coherence suffers lol. please bear in mind i am cognitively disabled & severely ill.

[beebopboom]

I like that with the 25 lazarii miracle, we can assume that half of it was Crowley and yet his power still registered on Heaven’s radar

so it was either

the alarm went off because it was angelic and demonic power mixing together - and that is just not done

or really it’s despite Crowley pulling his power up from Hell both their power is coming from the same place and that despite Hell measuring things differently (if they even pay attention to it, or do it) it means Heaven and Hell are measuring the same thing

essentially it’s the same power just on different measuring scales - ones they have make sure they don’t tip in the wrong direction

really just reenforced that they, angels and demons, are really all the same.

or yknow how the miracle blocker affected the both of them

this is probably redundant there are tons of examples of this - this is just the one I get stuck on cause it’s so blatant and I’m just thinking things through don’t mind me

[beachbunnymp4]

ive been thinking something i really really really hate is how "the one" always has to be seen as a romantic thing!! like i love soulmates and the trope of someone having a person who they are destined to meet but why is it always like a romantic thing and why is it always just one person, why cant it be a platonic best friend, or something thats not platonic or romantic but a secret third thing, a relationship that cannot be defined by any words, why cant it be "the one(s)", why can't it be multiple people, why does amatonormativity have to exist bro its so dumbbb 💀😭 like first of all it excludes so many people and makes them feel like they have to confine themselves into a relationship that they arent really happy in because its seen as the only Okay type of relationship in society and second of all its so fucking boring when it comes to this being enforced in fiction, give me more interesting relationships in stories i promise you it wont kill you ❤️

[jgnico]

please nico i beg you to explain the sukuna 4 eyes being a copy of six eyes theory 🙏 it sounds really interesting

I was going to make a joke about you triggering my trap card, but yes, I would love to explain the Eyes Theory.

First, I wanna lay down some groundwork before I get into why I believe that Sukuna having four eyes functions as a nerfed version of the Six Eyes technique.

Thanks to statements from Todo and Mechamaru during the Goodwill event, we know that normal sorcerers can see cursed energy and follow its flow/behavior. With Todo, he's able to see the flow of Yuuji's cursed energy and how it lags behind, which leads to him teaching Yuuji the basics of cursed energy manipulation. Later in this same arc Mechamaru is able to see one of Panda's cores by looking at where his cursed energy is concentrated within his body.

So we know that sorcerers can see the cursed energy of other sorcerers and curses even without Six Eyes, but to drive this point home...

We get a panel of Sukuna looking at the cursed energy of the people within the city around him in the very first chapter. This lets us know that not only can he see cursed energy, but that he can see the limited cursed energy within non-sorcerers.

Where Six Eyes possibly differs in this aspect of its use is the precision with which it sees cursed energy. In the top panel here we're able to see Gojo's view of Toji's movement thanks to The Worm he's carrying, which isn't only brighter/clearer, but the traces between Toji's movements can be seen despite Toji's speed making him basically invisible to the naked eye.

It's thanks to this view of cursed energy that Gojo is able to do things like discern a person's technique or see if someone is a sorcerer to begin with. [ch. 69, 70] But, I'd like to point out that Sukuna has done something similar, for both of the previously listed feats. Not only is he able to figure out Megumi's technique during their fight, similar to how Gojo figures out the curse users technique in his respective fight, but we've repeatedly been told by The Angel that Sukuna only needs to see someone do something once in order to replicate it himself.

This isn't only how he was able to turn himself into a cursed object, despite other ancient sorcerers being unable to do so, but also how he's able to understand how Gojo was "healing" his cursed technique and do it himself afterwards. Likewise, this is also the foundation of why he wanted to use Mahoraga against Gojo after seeing how the shiikigami operated in Shibuya: to get a blueprint of how to get past Limitless. Despite multiple guesses from multiple characters about how Mahoraga adaption works (namely of which was Gojo), Sukuna is the only character that's seen it adapt multiple times, and therefore, knew that its adaptation process differed with each use.

So if we know that Sukuna can see and interpret Cursed Energy at a level on par with Gojo --save for some clarity through how the Six Eyes takes in information vs the eyes of other Sorcerers -- what about the other benefit that Gojo gets from his eyes: high amounts of Cursed Energy Efficiency?

Well, we get the answer to that from the person -- outside of Gojo and Sukuna or even Kenjaku -- that would know the most about Cursed Energy Manipulation. Keep in mind that Kashimo, regardless of his death, was someone who kept his place among the strongest by only using his CE reserves. By right of his skillset, he's no slouch when it comes to the topic, and per his assessment, Sukuna's efficiency would be better than Gojo's if he didn't have the Six Eyes to replenish his CE in the way that it does.

This is the only real substantial difference between the two, that Gojo's Six Eyes gives him more cursed energy, which allows him to burn ridiculous amounts of it, even without perfect efficiency. To balance it out and keep them somewhat equal, Sukuna has a tighter hold on his efficiency rate and a lot more cursed energy to compensate for what he uses up.

But why do I think that Sukuna having extra eyes is his own version of Six Eyes specifically, rather than a visual buff alone?

Well, we told explicitly that Sukuna's extra limbs and organs make his body perfect for sorcery. None of these modifications to his body are purely aesthetic. Extra hands for signing, an extra mouth for chanting --both of which greatly increase the potency of your attacks-- an extra heart and lungs to make sure it all keeps running smoothly.

The only feature that isn't mentioned is his extra pair of eyes, which is odd given the fact that they're arguably his most noticeable and present feature. Even outside of his true form, his eyes are manifested on his vessel while his extra mouth and arms aren't. Even when he's not in control of his vessel --as with Yuuji's case-- his eyes still remain on his face, only closed.

If all of his extra limbs and organs have a purpose that makes his body perfect for sorcery, then why would his eyes be different? And what better eyes to immulate than the ones that are highly valued within the jujutsu world for the advantages they give in terms of sorcery and have also been around in some way for as long as Sukuna has?

While I won't argue that they're better or even the same, I will say that they are at least (arguably) equal in two of the three main benefits that the Six Eyes grant their users; perception and interpretation of cursed energy.

That's the theory, at least.

[twoheadedfather]

i genuinely can't stand the fact that society will always infantilize abuse victims, and if they can't then "the victim isn't really a victim". it's the cause of so many problems- the demonization of certain mental disorders, certain types of victim blaming, people thinking reactive "abuse" is real abuse, the demonization of people who cope with their trauma in "abnormal"/"uncomfortable" ways, the demonization people who have violent urges/thoughts, so on forever, and i feel like nobody talks about it which is unfortunate (since it is a thing that PLAGUES the world and our understanding of trauma).

[caitas-cooing]

So do you ever think about how when Saito's head explodes Date just saw the head of the body he's been living in for the past 6 years explode and the fact that he still identifies himself with that body when it happens? Like imagine seeing the head of your body explode in real time, obviously it's not actually his body, but like it still is to him

Also imagine how Mizuki feels when she sees his head explode. Even though she knows that it's not the guy who took care of her the past 4 years currently in that body it's still got to hurt to see his head explode on an emotional level

Idk just thinking thoughts

[thesilliestofgals]

Spoilers for Nerdy Prudes Must Die:

that feeling that hits you when you realize Ruth's song "Just For Once" serves as tragic irony because she talks about being middle aged in the song and she isn't going to make it past eighteen.

[gay-otlc]

Actually I'm curious and we have polls now. So I'm making a poll

*for purposes of this poll, the magic will keep you the same gender you are now, just the cis version of that gender. for example, a trans woman would become a cis woman rather than a cis man.

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

Rain

“‘Rulie?” Sky asked, walking up to him. “What are you doing out here?”

“It doesn’t rain in my Hyrule.” He said, not looking away from the clouds above them. His hands were outstretched, rain slowly falling from his fingers to the ground. 

“It doesn’t?” Sky couldn’t imagine that; even in Skyloft, the land always above the clouds, they had a few storms a year.

“Something Ganon did messed up the weather.” He shook his head. “Always cloudy, but it never rains.”

“That’s…” Horrible? Strange? My fault?

“It’s hard to find clean water.” He said absently. “And the rivers dry up in the summer.” He shook his head, sending water flying over them both. “Anyway, what are you doing out here?”

“It’s just a little… too much in there. No offense to Malon, though, of course.” He added on hurriedly.

“Yeah, I’m… not really used to people, either.” 

“I didn’t really see many people on my adventure.” Sky said, rubbing his arms as lightning struck in the distance. “There just… weren’t many people on the Surface left there, and I didn’t go back up to Skyloft much. Zelda– uh, Sun– is trying to get me used to it again, but…” He shrugged.

Hyrule nodded. “Everyone can be pretty enthusiastic sometimes, I get it.”

“Yeah.” He said, relieved he was able to understand what Sky had meant.

The wind sped up, blowing a sheet of rain right under the porch, and Hyrule laughed brightly, shutting his eyes against the sudden barrage of water. Sky wiped his face, shaking off the excess water.

“Have you ever seen anything this beautiful?” Hyrule asked. “I didn’t think clouds could ever be anything but oppressing, but…”

Sky pursed his lips, and stepped out from under the cover of the porch; he was already soaked, anyway. He glanced up, and gasped.

Hyrule was right; it was beautiful. The sky wasn’t covered in gray, but rather high, fluffy white clouds covered the eastern sky. Beams of light shown down through the gaps, and peeks of blue sky adorned the clouds like jewels. Even as the rain fell, casting a gloomy pallor on the land below, the sky was bright.

“It is.” He said softly. 

@here4dragons

[no-lavender]

qroier has always put up a funny guy and a “ohh i’m not tough” front. It’s mostly been doing this to protect how he feels at the moment and to make sure no one really sees in.

he makes jokes to make sure everyone around him is happy and laughing even if he isn’t. This front he has put on has caused people to only think of him as this. The other island residents didn’t even really believe he had these great pvp skills because he hid them from everyone. They never thought of him of capable of doing bad things because of this as well. The viewers do know he can do these things for example what he wanted to do as revenge for qspreen and what he did as revenge to qquackity. This front has also made him become trust worthy to everyone thinking he wouldn’t do these things to them, and he wouldn’t because he does truly care for the other island residents.

People really started to see his actual thinking of the island when the murders were happening with qcellbit. He didn’t care and wanted the federation to hurt after everything they did to him and his family. They obviously thought that this was weird, but still believed he can talk qcellbit out of these murders even if he was the one encouraging them.

Then purgatory came along and he had to fight for his life to survive. He had to kill his loved ones to make sure his team survived and he hated it. He was scared they wouldn’t trust him and hate him, which is obvious after the egg battle reunion with cellbit. Here he was able to show his actual skills in pvp and people realized just how skilled he was even with all the jokes and funny things he said/did.

After purgatory it was a little more obvious that something was up with roier. He still was there to be the “funny guy” but there was this obvious difference to him that some people took notice of.

Now at the current situation of qroier being kidnapped. He is alone right now and asking for help but it seems like no one is doing anything. Do you think he can’t help but wonder if he never played this funny guy act people would come save him? People would think he was worth more than his pvp skills and the jokes he told? People wouldnt then brush off his calls for help as maybe another joke he’s playing because he’s made some like that in the past. Do you think he’s sitting wherever he is at right now and thinking maybe he should’ve chosen a different route to make sure no one saw how is was actually feeling?

Maybe then, more people would be looking for him. Maybe then he would’ve been found by now and be back with those he loves. They wouldn’t be thinking his signs of distress as something else.

He is sitting wherever he is now thinking how if qcellbit, his husband, was still alive. No he still has hope he is out there, so if he was still here he would be there to find him. Because after all the only person to get him and see him through this whole front was his husband and now he’s gone and he’s alone in this dark room with no battery and suffering.

[xxswagcorexx]

grabs u by the shoulder. hey. hey u. have you've ever wanted to learn about a mcrp arc with themes about violence and the death of innocence, scary arcane experiments, political murder, and interdimensional travel where u meet alternative versions of urself?

well if any of that sounds awesome to you, BOY DO I JUST HAVE THE THING FOR YOU!!! midmysticx's egg arg in lifesteal season 4 has all of that!!! it had to be cut off short because of meta reasons, but with what was released so far, it was. So Cool .

now i HIGHLY recommend checking this out for yourself (a curated playlist that i made can be found here! it's pretty short but. imo the themes of it carry it in SUCH an interesting way), but if you don't have the time/want more. propaganda reasons why you should watch it, there's more under the cut!

(mild cw though for the "having a voice in your head through magic items/powers" trope! it plays a very small part in the story, but i'd figure i'd give a heads up just in case 👍)

ok so like. this arg happens in the canon of lifesteal season 4 (lifesteal seasons fully reset like hc seasons) and the main "progatanist" of this arg is c!midmysticx/c!mid, and most of the "lore" is told in the format of vhs tapes

that being said, c!mid is a little confusing in the way that s4!mid is implied to be a different character that c!mid from other seasons

i say that bc s4!mid made an "application video" for lifesteal, citing about how shes excited to join (even tho cc!mid has been a part of ls since s2)

also. very interestingly, mid excludes herself from the s4 start in a replay shot (even tho cc!mid was present during the s4 launch)

and interesting enough, s4!mid seems a bit. naive in the application video? like she mentions she's "good at editing" as one of her attributes on why she should be added to the server and mentions. nothing about the violence of the server (other than introducing the mechanics of the server which is LITERALLY about killing people to gain hearts and losing hearts when you get killed)

halfway through her application video, though (after a few months passed according to the date on the bottom of each video) she sounds very. bitter

the video changes to be all in black and white and she starts asking: "why? why do you all kill and ruin friendships and betray? all for hearts?!"--a MUCH different demeanor than what she had when she started. bitter and resentful, almost, compared with the excitement she showed earlier in her "application", and it ends with her announcing she stole the dragon egg and she's made 4 trials for people to look for it

anyways, moving onto the first tape that takes place ~around 2 months before the shift in demeanor, s4!mid starts to record video tapes about experiments she's doing with the dragon egg, eventually combining a heart with the dragon egg and opens up a portal

she doesnt know what on Earth it is so. shes testing it out right. like any person with safety concerns would

and well uh.

she puts a pig through and it fucking died

so . Erm! not a good start

anyways she eventually feels a voice/urge calling her to go through the portal even though she knows its risky, but she's been having such bad headaches that she goes through the portal anyways, ditching her plans to figure out how to control the power of the egg before going through it

and uh. heres where things get confusing again because this is where. the interdimensional stuff comes in

she arrives in an unknown location right. and. jumpscare . it ends up being a manor (and i'm just gonna call this mid "murder mystery!mid" bc the manor is the same one in one of her other videos, a halloween special where mid + co do a whodunit)

and basically, s4!mid witnesses a mayor election (which is a big part of murder mystery!mid's story), and after s4!mid explores for a little, s4!mid and murder mystery!mid eventually . make eye contact

and um. you see. s4!mid accidently eavesdrops (im assuming so? there's a tape of that and its been established that s4!mid films all of them herself) on murder mystery!mid's plan to kill the mayor and Uh. s4!mid. ends up also witnessing murder mystery!mid's murder as well

s4!mid gets chased and has to go back to the portal to escape, but the issue is. the portal doesnt bring her back to lifesteal. it brings her to eclipse smp

AND FUCKING BRINGS HER TO ECLIPSE!MID'S GRAVE

she eventually sees someone crying over eclipse!mid's grave before going away into the woods before hearing a sound and running away

that's where the arg (unfortunately) had to be cut off but like. Still. the part that makes me constantly rotate this arg in my head is the fact mid literally saw her own death. the different versions of her. her witnessing a version of her that was Willing to commit murder. the whole change in demeanor in the application video in such a short time .

anyways, if i had to homebrew an "ending" to this arg, i think mid would have traced back and started to Learn more about the other versions of herself, and eventually had a character arc where she just. witnesses all of this destruction and pain and suffering

and just. Realizes how much of that there can be and realizes how much stuff like that effects lifesteal and how. pointless it is in the end.

and eventually, in a last ditch effort to have everyone work together again and despite all she's been through, makes the egg arg

also on a meta level it would make sense i think (since a lot of the actual arg puzzles involved trust and working together and trusting your teammates)

and on the topic of the egg arg meta, it fucking worked. the lifestealers did work together and put trust in each other even when threatened with death to solve the arg.

it did bring lifesteal together. even just for a little bit

and i am just. man thats fucking cool!!!!!!

not to mention just. the cool character study stuff you can do on c!mid. the thought of seeing yourself throughout all of this. realizing about how these things can effect you in different ways. witnessing your own death TWICE. and by the time to come up because of it, you're a changed person on a fundamental level. and in the end, looking at the thing that caused all of this, and throwing it out there in a last ditch effort to make things right again. in the worst scenario. even though you're bitter and angry now. you try anyways.

that concept is so. cool to me . i wish more people talked about it but yk. this is me throwing my hat into the ring

egg arg my beloved fr <3

[derpinette]

any Beautiful Women roaming this earth right now feel like buying me any of these books to support homosexual women living in the third world's rights. please. Please

[spoofyleaf]

As a fellow analyst

how do you feel about the theory of Mk maybe being the next person to gain the samadhi fire?

Okay, I am so so iffy on it, and I see where people are getting the idea from too! The whole faceless person in that one painting gaining the fire, the whole teal/blue thing swirling around in his powers, etc., (I really hope you know what I’m talking about,,, I can’t word things good rn).

While I very much see where the idea is coming from, and how it could make sense,,, I do think that the whole plot twist with the samadhi fire is done and over with- Mei had the secret fourth ring in her.

Like okay, maayyybee MK will try to gain the samadhi fire like his mentor did, in an attempt to save the people he cares about/ the universe. I can see him gaining it this way, but I don’t think there’s gonna be a secret 5th ring in him. Even still, I don’t think he’ll try to do that either bc we saw how awful that went the first time.

Buuuuut wanna know what else is teal/ blue coded??? LBD, the memory scrolls,,, I think he’s gonna be more connected to something along these lines. I mean?? The way he interacts with the scrolls???? Hello???? I know I’ve talked about this a few times before, but please all that can’t be ignored. Something something destiny something something harbinger of chaos. Also that teal flower. Sorry I cannot get over it, especially with MK slowly becoming real coded.

Maybe, MK being hatched (?) into existence was the last warning bell of something major going down. I mean? The harbinger of chaos is not the same as the bringer of chaos. Two entirely different things. The Jade Emperor saying how his time of ruling was up is extraordinarily suspicious, especially because it was very very soon after MK was born/ gained his powers. Something bug is going to happen, we know that. And maybe MK being born was the Universe’s last warning bell for it.

Tldr; no, I don’t think MK will gain the samadhi fire. I think he’s meant for something much more than that.

[shamera]

NaNo day 23-25

I LIVE back with hunter au

so the first part felt fun but then I had a really hard time writing and got distracted by rl left and right so if it feels choppy... it is. that's what editing is for, right? that is if i keep most of this, hurhur.

I had an idea for this, I swear I did, but I kept meandering. Finally coming up to the end, though. of the part? of the story? idk, but we're finally coming to the part I imagined when I first started this, even if that image was nebulous in my head.

also scene not complete but my brain is done tonight

One thing that always irritated Fang Duobing about Li Lianhua was just how easy it was to trust the man. No matter how many times Fang Duobing watched him lie or cheat or weasel his way out of things, when it came down to it, Fang Duobing instinctively trusted Li Lianhua. 

At first he blamed it on his own inexperience with the world. Growing up ill, he had mostly been homeschooled until he recovered enough to be thrown into an exclusive and extremely rich private school where other children of diplomats and royalty attended, yet Fang Duobing never quite… connected the other children. He was different and intense and he didn’t share the same life goals as them. 

Unlike his schoolmates, he hadn’t wanted to inherit companies or marry up or maintain rich connections. Instead, he wanted to be a Hunter, someone who needlessly endanger their lives for little gain. Fang Duobing wanted to fight, wanted to get in the middle of things and get his hands dirty saving others. His frustration grew over the years as he found no one to share or understand his dream, and the last straw had been when his parents arranged his marriage to Princess Qiaoling. 

He was meant to inherit his mother’s company and his father’s name, marry the Princess and live a soft, sheltered life where his children would be even more powerful and the Fang and He lineage would be secured, and even more, of royal blood. 

When Fang Duobing first ran away from home, he made mistake after mistake that had his aunt hunting closely after him. He learned to pull out his sim card from his phone, learned to dress differently and cover his face in big cities due to surveillance at every corner, and circumnavigate paper money rather than rely entirely on paying via his phone. 

(Although he continued to make that last mistake again and again whenever he needed food or money, instead learning how to run faster than his aunt could catch him.)

With his inexperience with people, it just made sense that he kept getting tricked by Li Lianhua. 

Or, it would make sense if Fang Duobing ever learned from his mistake. 

Yet he didn’t know why, but when Li Lianhua snuck a look at him, Fang Duobing would understand exactly what he meant by the look. They communicated seamlessly in a manner that he wouldn’t notice until much later, when Fang Duobing could review the day and be breathless at how easily they navigated around each other. 

It must be, Fang Duobing determined early on, the storybook friendships. That’s how people felt about best friends, right? It was the type of connection seen on tv dramas, and the type of connection that Hunters would develop after years of fighting alongside each other. 

That would make sense except for the fact that Li Lianhua very obviously didn’t fight. 

He complained about long walks and lost his breath on stairs, and Fang Duobing was always the one doing the heavy lifting and fixing around Lotus Tower. He would have complained about it more if not for the fact that Li Lianhua really did get very sick from time to time, with no prior warning. 

And when he got sick, he would spend days in bed in a state that worried Fang Duobing tremendously. He couldn’t understand how the man survived to this point at all without someone to take care of him. 

After being caught by his aunt the first time (because! Li Lianhua! Snitched! On him!), Fang Duobing spent months back home seething over the betrayal, constantly trailed by maids, servants, and bodyguards paid to not let him out of their sights. He spent the time spamming Baichuan Court with requests and shoved his application and resume in their faces the entire time, only to be rejected time and again. 

It took months of intense studying and online spoofing for Fang Duobing to find a time where he managed to sweet-talk his mother into allowing him to one of her company parties, lying through his teeth about a sudden interest in a corporate career, especially since he was now not a child but in his twenties. 

His escape the second time had been so narrow he heard his aunt’s angry screaming while he was still climbing down over the wall of the private retreat, rolling down through the bushes in his suit in glee at finally escaping from the excessive overprotectiveness of his family. 

Goodbye, arranged marriage and arranged life and having the names of his nonexistent kids already picked out! He was going to go off and make a name for himself with his own blood, sweat, and tears, and he was going to fulfil his dreams of being a Hunter and fighting monsters and saving people— 

And then, somehow, he ran into Li Lianhua again in the first town he escaped to via the first long-distance bus he could find that didn’t require his identification for a ticket. 

He would have left, he really would have. He would have just turned around and made his way to the next town without acknowledging him at all, except Li Lianhua had been pale like he was still recovering from a recent bout of illness, and there was a girl standing with him that Fang Duobing recognised from a previous case together, and what was she doing there as well?

Apparently in Fang Duobing’s absence, Su Xiaoyong had taken it upon herself to trail after Li Lianhua, and Fang Duobing was having none of it. It just wasn’t proper, and so what if that view was old fashioned! Her following them had been funny originally when Fang Duobing was there the first time, but it wasn’t funny now that he wasn’t there!

So he bullied his way back into his room at Lotus Tower (which was his and not Su Xiaoyong’s!), and back into travelling with Li Lianhua again on the promise that the man wouldn’t rat Fang Duobing out to his aunt again. 

It was not even three weeks after that Fang Duobing found Li Lianhua having pulled out that ancient laptop of his at the kitchen, frowning at the horrible internet connection from where they were parked. 

“Why do you need that?” Fang Duobing asked then, surprised. He leaned to peek at the screen. “Does that thing even work? It must have existed along with the dinosaurs. I’ll get you a new one.”

A second later, he changed his mind. 

“Are you emailing my mother?” Fang Duobing shrieked, a hand shaking at Li Lianhua’s shoulder. “Why?!”

For someone usually so sickly, Li Lianhua didn’t bat an eye at being shaken like that. “We have a rapport. She asked me about you, I thought it was only polite to respond. She wants to know if you’re still alive and standing.”

That wasn’t all of it, from what Fang Duobing could read on the screen. He Xiaohui included quips about her day and random cooking recipes, along with thanks for recommending the acupuncturist for her sore shoulder. She had jokes on the side. She used emojis in the messages. 

It wasn’t until the post-script that she asked about her son’s well-being. 

P.S., she wrote, is my darlingest Xiaobao still alive?

Then he saw Li Lianhua respond with ‘he's reading this right now ‘before Fang Duobing attempted to wrestle that laptop out of his hands, but not before the man managed to hit send. 

And that was how Fang Duobing learned he didn’t need to be as careful with his phone use and purchases, because his mother had known where he was all along and was only mad he didn’t tell her himself. 

(Although perhaps he had been a little too ambitious in thinking he could hide from his mother, the head of a company on innovative technology who happened to moonlight in R&D as well.)

“Now I’m glad you don’t have a phone,” Fang Duobing griped afterward. Despite his extensive badgering about getting Li Lianhua a phone (mostly so he could find the ever elusive man), Li Lianhua had remained steadfast in his adherence to living like an old man. Fang Duobing shuddered to think of his family on a WeChat group with Li Lianhua, who could be documenting Fang Duobing’s greatest failures on the daily. He thought of his own collections of photos and videos around Lotus Tower, mostly of Hulijing because she was the cutest dog in existence, but also of Li Lianhua cooking, or drinking tea, or tucked into a corner and reading, or— 

“I somehow remember a certain someone badgering me about needing a phone for everyday use,” Li Lianhua said, even as he shut down the laptop and packed it away once more. “From messaging to paying for things, to maps…”

“Eh!” Fang Duobing made panicked noises to stop the other man from continuing. “Who said that, huh? Not just me! It’s common sense— how do you survive the modern world without Alipay, anyway? No navigation, no contacts, no access to TaoBao…”

“I make do.” Li Lianhua replied with faux demureness. 

(Fang Duobing doesn’t manage to convince him to get a phone, although soon enough a brand new and high-spec tablet ends up in Lotus Tower just by coincidence, only to be thrown into the same compartment as the ancient laptop. After that, he stuck to purchasing newer kitchen appliances instead. At least the air fryer was a hit.)

Two days later, they exposed a supplier for illegal dungeon materials who attempted to drug them, only for Li Lianhua to take one look at the tea and smile sweetly before diverting attention and dumping the cup below his sleeve, barely needing to nudge Fang Duobing’s foot for him to do the same. 

After that they managed to come up with the same plan, executing it at the same time without saying a word about it to each other. They gave the same story to the police who showed up afterward as well, even in separate rooms and even without having corroborated beforehand. 

It was like having someone who knew exactly what was on his mind, and knowing exactly what was on his mind in return, even if Fang Duobing couldn’t quite comprehend his actions most of the time. The feeling was exhilarating enough that he couldn’t help but forgive Li Lianhua’s strange habits and awful lies. 

Because when and where it counted, Li Lianhua did live up to everything Fang Duobing hoped of him. 

He hid and he ran away and he lied endlessly, but Fang Duobing had always known the type of person Li Lianhua was, the same way they always knew each other’s decisions and actions. It was the connection of a lifetime— he met Li Lianhua and he just knew.

He knew. 

Staring at the view before him now, within the domain of the boss dungeon, Fang Duobing found he really didn’t know anything at all. 

With most of the tendrils of the monster cut off, it was like half the body disappeared after the sword swing (sword? What sword? Where did that sword come from?), unbalancing the large beast and bringing its heavy body crashing forward, the darkness it hide between the tendrils disappearing amidst the glow of the grass as it hit the ground, only for the shrieking noise to grow even louder, louder until Fang Duobing wasn’t sure if his ears would soon be bleeding. 

Li Lianhua (tired, sickly Li Lianhua who couldn’t even be bothered to carry his own groceries) wasted no time as he dashed forward into a sprint, the faint glow of the sword blending in with the surroundings as he darted around the falling monster to jump atop it, the movements so graceful Fang Duobing almost felt like time slowed for it as he lept, weightless, landing with just one foot on the hulk of the monster before he pushed off again before gravity could set in, spinning in an effortless movement to balance atop the crashing body and evade the renewed tendrils that came from the other side of the monsters as its form split once more, shorter now, yet no less deadly in its force. 

Fang Duobing was too far away to see clearly, the movements and the dust blurring the battle, but he knew that footwork. He knew the slash, that sidestep, that evasion. 

He’d been studying it since he was ten years old, attempting to find every video and snippet the internet had of the famous Sigu Sect founder, eyes wide with wonder and reverence. He read every article, replayed every clip of every fight with breathless marvel as teen prodigy Li Xiangyi climbed his way to the top of the world of Hunters. Every shaky phone footage from civilians who managed to catch seconds when Li Xiangyi was challenged by other Hunters, only for him to end the fight almost instantly, within only a few moves. 

The famed Whirling Steps of Xiangyi Swordplay, as light and easy as laughter. 

(But it couldn’t be!)

The tendrils were moving faster now, focusing on the ones with spikes down the side, readily destroying even the body of the monster in attempts to target Li Lianhua, who evaded the attacks easy as breathing, and turned to hack those tendrils off as well, the ground shaking with each and every heavy fall of monster parts, the flash of a blue sword cutting swiftly and deftly like a knife through butter. 

With the closest tendrils taken care of, Li Lianhua was pulled back into action atop the monster, amongst the splattered dark blood and gore, and the dug his sword in the body of the creature, nearly to the hilt as it thrashed and screamed, attempting to buck him off even as he clung onto the blade. 

The creature’s movement seem to turn against itself, though, as the blade sank to create a deeper and wider cut as it moved, until Li Lianhua pulled the sword out and then sank it in again in a different location, doing this several times in a row until he drew away to once again battle the remaining tendrils. 

Ten seconds, twenty seconds, and the creature that was the size of a house was getting hacked into pieces, and blood splattered carelessly over Li Lianhua’s pale clothes and skin, half hidden by the curtain of dark hair. 

It took less than a minute before all the tendrils were gone, and the body of the beast was merely twitching on the ground, cut nearly in half by the glowing blue blade, which remained free of blood despite its owner being half covered in it by now. 

And then the monster collapsed, the endless shrieking finally halted as it began falling apart like a pile of snakes to reveal the darkness it had been protecting inside, a gaping maw of abyss that grew and lifted, and Li Lianhua was standing right there—

“Look out!” Fang Duobing shouted out, immediately pushing himself onto his shaking feet as if he could make it over in time to add action to his warning. 

Li Lianhua pushed himself back from the expanding darkness, expression veiled underneath his hair, and for a moment Fang Duobing thought he might have looked back at him. 

And then all the glow in the dungeon went out, sending the world into a pitch black. 

— 

He didn’t pass out, and he didn’t merely lose sight of everything. 

Between one moment and the next, all the light was gone and even the world dropped out from under his feet, leaving only the sensation of falling without wind, of dropping forevermore in a vast and empty void, like crashing and sinking in the ocean as all his senses dulled along with his vision. 

It was cold and numbing, like pressure along his skin yet there was nothing there. Like there was no air to breathe, but he might yet be crushed in this nothingness, by the nothingness. 

Fang Duobing knew his eyes were open, that he was reaching upward, yet he could not feel nor see his actions. Without sensation, he came the devastating realisation— 

This was within the monster. 

Distantly, he remembered a story about a man swallowed by a whale, and wondered if this fate could be compared to that. 

He wondered until he felt something grab the back of his collar, and drag him up. 

Up and up and up and this time there was a sense of direction, of place, and Fang Duobing gasped for breath and found that there was no air in this void of darkness, no existence outside of this grasp on his clothes pulling him along, and he— 

He breathed. 

Moreover, he choked and he coughed and he curled into a ball as gravity asserted itself on his limbs again and he felt like he weighed a thousand tonnes, pressed into the ground on shaking limbs that came away almost wet but not with a black substance like tar yet felt like it wasn’t there at all. Like black smoke if smoke were opaque at all times and clung the way tar did. 

“Good,” a shaking voice said next to him, and the pressure on his collar disappeared. “Good.”

The familiarity of the voice was enough to remind him of his situation, and Fang Duobing shot out an arm to grab at Li Lianhua’s wrist. “A-are… Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” Li Lianhua’s tone was full of fond exasperation, even if Fang Duobing was still blinking dark spots from his vision, only to realise it really was that dark— at least, there was only the barest of light where they were, and he didn’t know where that luminescence came from. He could barely see Li Lianhua’s shape, and even that was difficult as the other man was also covered head to toe with the solidified darkness still dripping off him in clumps from his hair. “Fang Duobing, you’re the one who— didn’t I tell you not to open your eyes or move?”

“I counted,” Fang Duobing croaked out, although he didn’t claim to have done the complete count. His throat felt like it was on fire, yet each breath of air felt cleaner and fresher than the last. “But you—”

“Forget that part,” Li Lianhua said grimmly. “We have to get out now, before the dungeon collapses. Can you stand, or should I carry you?”

The words felt like a dream. Carry me? Fang Duobing was almost tempted to laugh. If anything, he expected it to be the other way around with the two of them in a dungeon, and yet— and yet. 

That wasn’t the case anymore, was it?

Fang Duobing had been prepared to charge forward into the unknown with no real weapon, determined to keep himself between Li Lianhua and danger because despite all their usual bickering and the trouble they got into regularly, Li Lianhua was often sickly and ill. He had a heart condition and a terrible immune system, and he was pale and often didn’t eat healthy enough or just enough in general, and despite the lies and the arguments and betrayals… Fang Duobing had always wanted Li Lianhua to be safe. 

Li Lianhua could keep a level head in any situation, but Fang Duobing was meant to be the one keeping both of them safe. 

Fat lot of good he did, and Li Lianhua— 

Li Lianhua— 

“No,” Fang Duobing insisted, the rasp in his voice giving way to a surge of anger. Grief. Betrayal. Of all the things, he never considered that Li Lianhua would lie about his own health, about who he was in general. Did he ever really know the other man? If they really had a connection, if they truly understood each other the way Fang Duobing always thought they did, then how did he miss this? 

How could Li Lianhua hide this? Lie about this? 

What a connection. What a similar mindset they had. With the monster now not an immediate threat, he couldn’t think of anything other than this. His entire being felt like his thoughts were resonating with this information. Was it truly a connection or had Li Lianhua lied about that as well? He lied about his identity, about his health, about little and big things, he’d lie about the colour of the sky right to Fang Duobing’s face if it amused him, wouldn’t he? 

He would say that’s just the person Li Lianhua was, but Fang Duobing truly didn’t know, did he?

He always did think that Li Lianhua’s features looked a lot like Li Xiangyi, although he was too embarrassed to bring it up after a patient pointed out the resemblance and Li Lianhua merely laughed at that, pointing out that he would have to work on the dosage of his remedies if that’s what they thought. 

But Li Lianhua’s features were both softer and sharper than Li Xiangyi’s, limbs thinner with even his stride stiffer and slower compared to Li Xiangyi’s confident movements. 

Fang Duobing would know. He’d studied Li Xiangyi enough, and stared after Li Lianhua enough. 

“No, tell me now.” Fang Duobing said, hand tightening around Li Lianhua’s wrist. “Tell me what actually happened. Tell me the truth.”

[kittyphoenix12-xx]

Hi!

About that why did you get billy hate poll... Personally i dont post about billy or harringrove so i never had any hate targeted at me, and i cant vote in zhe poll because of it. BUT i had to block so many accounts and tags because i couldnt go into the billy hargrove tag without encountering these mile long posts about how awful we all are. I know you know these posts too well, so i wont detail how according to the antis we are all racist assholes. The worst part is that when i first joined the fandom i saw so many of these that i almost believed them. You know, when a bunch of people are all saying the same bs but you start to doubt yourself, it really sucked. It effected me enough thst i had a hard time "confessing" to my real-life (aka not online) friends who are casual fans of the show that he was my favourite character. And the funny part is most of them couldnt even care less, cause being such a passionate anti for a fictional character and writing 10k essays on how awful that FICTIONAL CHARATER is and therefore his fans and the actor too IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOUR! It is as chronicly online as it gets. There was only one friend of mine who was suprised and since she is a very opinionated person started to explain to me how SHE COULD NEVER LOVE HIM and she is suprised that i care about him. I tried to explain to her that i know that he behaves like an asshole but its due to his background and i believe would he have gotten the same treatment as steve he could have been redeemed, i was hit with the classic tonedeath answer:

Well my home life wasnt sunshine and puppies either but i dont go around beating up kids

At that point i just gave up in arguing honestly and then i felt like an idiot for not putting up more of a fight, cause this made it feel like her argument i agreed with. God.

I love billy so much, but all this negativity that comes with being in the fandom just drains me.

my dear anon, you are absolutely correct and i hope you have a lovely day.

i confess that when i first watched stranger things, i didn't like billy that much. and i handled that by not engaging with media about him, you know, like a normal person. this was just after s2 came out so i wasn't active on tumblr, i wasn't writing fanfiction, i wasn't in the fandom (and I'm glad let me tell you). but i was also thirteen and related to max more than billy, but the older i got, the more mature and aware i became of just the world in general.

in my humble opinion, the vocal billy antis are ignorant. they don't want to a conversation, they don't want to discuss nuance or entertain the idea of people unlearning things.

we've reached a place in this world where racism and homophobia and ableism are so prevalent that people forget that these things are taught and can therefore be unleant. because a lot of the real life people don't want to unlearn, or can't.

and that idea as spread into fandom spaces. I've said it before and I'll say it again, but the fact that people's response to children/teenagers saying racist/homophobic things is to immediately call for their death is a bad thing actually. and yes, it's spread to characters as well.

it's all performative. i made that poll just to see how performative antis are and, yeah, the results aren't great.

another thing i've noticed about people in general is that they tend to hate characters that exhibit their *embarassing* flaws. media that has racist/homophobic characters in the bad positions aren't really loved by people who hold those views.

^^^^ i think this summarises what i'm trying to say. no one wants to be the bad guy, so when they see something that forces them to confront that part of them, they push it away, deny it.

billy/harringrove stans have been harrassed, told to kill ourselves, called slurs and yet the people who say those things think they're right because they can't fathom being wrong.

so, anon, what i've learnt from my six months in this fandom, is to embrace it. yea billy was going to hit the kids with his car, i actively encourage that now. yea billy was going to kill everyone, he should've killed them all.

but no matter what, we love and support each other. so feel free to ramble in my ask box whenever, start posting on your blog about billy, do whatever you want.

they don't matter to us. they can't matter to us. fandom should be safe and it should be fun and those people are making themselves miserable. and that isn't our fault and it isn't our problem.