#but i am just like.. Please stop giving people false expectations of me lol

[greatyme]

heya lovely, could you please tell me favourite paramore (or not?) lyrics and your biggest blorbo(s) hahah also fave colours or palettes?

First of all tysm for giving me a chance to talk abt paramore bc they r my fav band. Second of all I’m sorry if u wanted something short cuz I’m abt to write SO much. Like SOOOO much. so um. be warned..

Since paramore is a very lyric heavy band (the lyrics are v important!) I’m gonna put my answers under the read more hehehe

I’m gonna go from album chronological order so here we go:

1. Never let this go

Maybe if my heart stops beating / it won’t hurt this much … One day you’ll get sick of / saying that everything’s all right / and by then I’m sure I’ll be pretending / just like I am tonight

all we know is falling is an emo ass album. I love her. This song hurts me.

2. When it rains

You made yourself a bed / at the bottom of the blackest hole and you’ll sleep till May and you’ll say / that you don’t want to see the sun anymore

Just the way it’s written breaks my heart again. Happens w a lot of pmore songs

3. Careful

I had it all / but not what I wanted / cause hope for me / was a place uncharted / and overgrown … You can’t tell me to heal / and it hurts remembering / how it felt to shut down

The first set of lyrics was my bio on Instagram when I was in middle school lmao… the first of a few pmore lyrics I’ve done that to

4. Ignorance

Where’s your gavel? / Your jury? / What’s my offense this time? / You’re not a judge but if you’re gonna judge me / well sentence me to another life

I just love whenever they play with words like this!! It’s also a super angry song. Very typical for brand new eyes the band was angry as hell at each other in the bne era lol

5. Playing god

It’s just my humble opinion / but it’s one that I believe in / you don’t deserve a point of view / if the only thing you see is you

LIFE CHANGING LYRIC FOR ME. ONE OF MY ULTIMATE FAVS. It’s something I still live by to this day. And ofc it was also my middle school ig bio at one point

6. Turn it off

And the worst part is / before it gets / any better we’re / headed for a cliff / and in the free fall I will realize / I’m better off when I hit the bottom

There’s a common theme in paramore songs about wanting to get to rock bottom. Hayley’s written these lyrics to reflect how once you get to rock bottom, there’s nowhere you can go but up

7. Grow up

I got a love DOG I would die for

Literally just love this because it’s about Alf (Hayley’s dog). The original lyrics say love but she’s since got a divorce to who she was referring to (AND FUCK CHAD!) so she changes the lyrics when she sings it live :)

8. Interlude: moving on

Let ‘em spill their guts / cause one day they’re gonna slip on ‘em

More silly lyrics I just think are funny visually

9. Last hope

It’s just a spark but it’s enough to keep me going / and when it’s dark out, no one’s around it keeps glowing

A song for when you have nothing left but a tiny bit of hope and the power of clinging to it. Means a lot to me.

10. Anklebiters

What, do you actually expect / a broken mirror to reflect? / You know ANKLEBITERS! / gave you a false perception

This song is sooo fun to sing! It’s about not caring about judgment from other people and I think these lyrics in particular are fun. So are the ones right after if you have a friend to do both parts lol

11. Proof

Baby, if I’m half the man I say I am / if I’m a woman with no fear just like I claim I am / then I’ll believe in what you say / there’s nothing left for you to do / the only proof that I need is you

I love the first part mainly. Just the silly gender moment hehe

12. Hate to see your heart break

For all the air that’s in your lungs / for all the joy that is to come / for all the things that you’re alive to feel / just let the pain remind you hearts can heal / oh how were you to know?

Hayley wrote this song about Taylor :') paramore background info: Taylor York is the guitarist in paramore and he’s a VERY important piece of the band. Hayley and Taylor have been friends since teenagers and are now in a relationship which I think makes this song even more special. It’s also just a sweet thing to listen to, even if you didn’t know who it was about

13. (One of those) crazy girls

Now I walk under a pink sky / love has flown along and passed me by / I pour my heart out to your voicemail / let you know I caught a bus to your side of town / and now I'm standing at your doorstep / with Los Angeles behind me / if you don't answer I’ll just use the key that I copied / cause I really need to see you / if you’re not here when I break in / I’m gonna go to your closet / just so I can smell your skin / as the chemicals swim / I know I’ll never love again / I swear I’ll never love again

ONE OF PARAMORE’S BEST FUCKING SONGS EVERRRR OMFG. THE DESPERATION. THE CRAZY GIRL-NESS!!! God. I love this part especially. The way it tells a story… paramore hall of fame. (Also I made a vegaspete edit to this part once lmfao)

14. Future

I’m writing the future / I’m writing it out loud / we don’t talk about the past / we don’t talk about the past now / so I’m writing the future I’m leaving a key here / something won’t always be missing / it won’t always feel emptier / just think of the future / and think of your dreams / you’ll get away from here / you’ll get away eventually / so just think of the future / think of a new life / don’t get lost in the memories / keep your eyes on a new prize

This is actually the whole song. Future is almost 8 minutes long and mostly instrumental. It’s a very powerful closer to the self titled album. I really wanna see it live one day before I die.

15. Rose colored boy

I want you to stop insisting that I’m not / a lost cause / cause I’ve been through a lot / really all I’ve got is just to stay pissed off / if it’s all right by you

Such a fantastic pessimistic song. Sometimes u just need to be angry and upset at where life’s taken you

16. Forgiveness

You hurt me bad this time / no coming back / and I cried till I couldn’t cry / another heart attack / if I lay on the floor / maybe I’ll wake up / and I don’t pick up when you call / cause your voice is a gun / every word is a bullet hole/ shot a hole in the sun / if I never look up, maybe I’ll never notice … and you, you want forgiveness (I can barely hang on to myself) / but I, I can’t give you that (I can’t give you, I can’t give you that) / and you, you want forgiveness (I’m afraid that I have nothing left) / but I, I just can’t do it yet (I can’t do, I just can’t do it yet)

God. Where do I even fucking begin. One of my favorite paramore songs ever. It wasn’t at first but then I stopped being so forgiving and this song hit a lot harder. It’s about giving someone a second chance and them failing and not being able to forgive anymore. It’s about still having to be connected to that person. It’s about the hurt that leaves you with. In the live version Hayley changes the second line of the bridge “don’t you go and get it twisted” to “I came so close to believing” which reflects the lyrics from the only exception “and I’m on my way to believing”. Both songs were about her ex husband (FUCK YOU CHAD!!!!!!!). He’s a piece of shit. He’s hurt her repeatedly. In my own form I find it very relatable. It’s very beautiful to listen to as well

17. Fake happy

I know I said that I was doing good and that I’m happy now / I should’ve known when things were going good / that’s when I’d get knocked down … oh please, just don't ask me how I’ve been / don’t make me play pretend / Oh no, oh what’s the use? / Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too

If u aren’t sobbing by the bridge and the final chorus u probably weren’t listening closely. Fake happy was one of my first favorites on after laughter. I knew it on harp once but I forgot it now rip

18. 26

Reality will break your heart / survival will not be the hardest part / it’s keeping all your hopes alive / when all the rest of you has died / so let it break your heart

One of the slower, sadder songs from after laughter. This is my fav album if u couldn’t tell and I’m not even done going thru my fav lyrics from it lmao. Real heartbreaking shit

19. Caught in the middle

I can’t think of getting old / it only makes me want to die / and I can’t think of who I was / cause it just makes me want to cry, cry, cry

Hell of a way to open a song. I remember Hayley saying she struggled finding the right words for this because there’s so much she wanted to say but man. She totally got the message across. Perfect song about having a crisis about fear of the future & pain of remembering the past

20. No friend

ALL OF IT.

the song is an outro to idle worship (another fucking awesome song btw) and it’s spoken/sung by Aaron Weiss from the band mewithoutYou. It is a mix of a devastating letter Hayley wrote of how she was struggling at that time and full of references to past lyrics the band wrote. Referencing past paramore songs: “another song that runs too long” (future, 8min long song) “God knows no one needs” (looking up, “god knows the world doesn’t need another band”) “more misguided ghosts” (the song misguided ghosts) “and we'll do our Riot! dance” (their sophomore album Riot!). From the letter: “I see myself in the reflection of people’s eyes / realizing that what they see may not even be close to the image I see in myself / and I think I might actually be more afraid / to let my own self down than anything else.” It’s really quiet so the first time I heard it via a leak (lol) I thought the song was wrong (also lol). But when you actually look closely you’ll see how FULL of references and reflections it is. A masterpiece.

21. Tell me how

I can’t call you a stranger / but I can’t call you

Another painful way to open a song. It’s about a broken friendship and not knowing what to feel or do about what’s left. In paramore specifics, this is about the past member Jeremy (but also fuck him lmao)

22. Running out of time

THERE WAS A FIRE! (metaphorically) / BE THERE IN FIVE! (hyperbolically)

This song is fucking hilarious. It’s just about being late to everything. Hayley described it as roasting herself and it’s fantastic. I love the way she sings this part hehe

23. C’est comme ça

In a single year, I’ve aged one hundred / my social life, a chiropractic appointment … I know that regression is rarely rewarded / I still need a certain degree of disorder / I hate to admit getting better is boring / But the high cost of chaos, who can afford it?

Getting better fucking sucks. It’s boring. That’s exactly what this song is about! Also I can’t help but think the French title is Zac’s influence lmao

24. Big man, little dignity

I keep thinking / this time the end’ll be different / but it isn’t / I keep thinking / the end is gonna be different but you keep on winning

This song is about putting your faith into the same type of person, straight cis white men, and noticing a pattern of how they repeatedly fail you and how much it can hurt

25. You first

Everyone is a bad guy / and there’s no way, no way to know / who’s the worst / karma’s gonna come for all of us / and I hope well I hope, I just hope / she comes, comes for you first, oh!

SUCH a petty song I love it

26. Liar

And why should I deny what’s all at once so crystal clear? … Love is not an easy thing to admit / but I’m not ashamed of it / love is not a weakening if you feel it rushing in / don’t be ashamed of it

Oh my god. When I tell you how I freaked out, teared up, screamed, and everything when I heard this for the first time??? Hayley makes a reference to the song/lyrics “crystal clear” from her solo album petals for armor. Both liar & crystal clear are about her falling in love with Taylor. I love them both so much and I’m only hoping the best for their relationship (which I still can’t believe is rlly true sometimes lol). Currently on tour they’re performing liar and then crystal clear consecutively and I’m so ready to just fall apart when they do that at my concert. The bridge also resonates a lot with me as a queer person. And of course it’s a fantastic ship song sjskdj

27. Crave

I romanticize even the worst of times / when all it took to make me cry was being alive … Just for a second it all felt simple / I’m already missing it / So I crave, crave to do it again, all again

FUCK!!! A song I never thought would exist but perfectly captures reminiscing on the present while struggling to actually be in the present and wanting to live the good moments all again… this is currently my most listened to song from their most recent album and I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be my top song of the year

28. Thick skull

Hit over the head / epiphany / over my head / repeatedly / thick skull never did / nothing for me / same lesson again / come on give it to me / give it to me, give it to me, give it to me

Another play on words. Being hit over the head with this “lesson” but also the same “lesson” going over your head just for you to go through it again. Powerful closer for the album.

OKAY. WE MADE IT. these are (almost) all my favorite paramore lyrics. Yeah I’m saying (almost) cuz I could’ve listed more honestly… there isn’t a paramore lyric that I don’t love. I’m sure this is more than u bargained for but I’m on a roll so I didn’t rlly hold back lmao. Also special shoutout cuz if I could’ve included stuff from Hayley’s solo albums I would’ve absolutely included lyrics from: simmer, leave it alone, dead horse, pure love, watch me while I bloom, crystal clear, no use I just do, find me here, and.. more…. LOL

AS FOR BLORBOS! I promise I won’t be as long fnmsjdjd

1. Qi Rong: from tian guan ci fu! He’s my fav character from the whole series and SUCH a slimy guy. If u hate him I hate u y’know. He’s an annoying cannibal who is a very loving father to his …adopted.. son… hehe

2. Shi Qingxuan: my other fav from tgcf :) (tbh I love quite a few tgcf characters..) she’s the type of blorbo I wanna have a sleepover with so bad.

3. Lan Wangji: we know him! We love him! My ultimate blorbo from mdzs!!! He is literally me.

4. Vegas: literally just last night I remembered his entire character and freaked out bc again.. he is literally me…. (that’s like how I decide most of my blorbos lmfao)

5. David from druck! A little bit of a throwback but he’s one of the most special characters to me ever. And I’m extremely grateful as he’s amazing pan representation!!

6. Literally the main four from bad buddy… I CANT CHOOSE ONE. I want to be bffs/be like every one of them lol

7. Noh Shinwoo: I will defend him with my life. Being team shinwoo while watching light on me live has left me with battle scars they really kept us on edge until the end lmfao

8. Sean (not me): I’m still in a not me mood after finishing my rewatch but aahhh he’s so blorbo…. never done anything wrong in his life

9. MENG SHAO FEI!!! Now THAT’S a bitch who fits the blorbo definition. He is so silly <3

10. hira from utsukare: NEW ENTRY!!! We are scarily alike…

Finally, my favorite color is red/burgundy!!! I think I tend to like warmer palettes and ofc ones that have some red in it hehe

If u actually read through this whole thing. Wow. I’m impressed. I lowkey literally wrote u an essay. But thank u sm & ily for asking & giving me a chance 2 talk abt my fav band (& blorbos) bc I had fun writing this the whole time !! :D

[fingertipsmp3]

My American friend who I’m visiting next month has apparently described me to her (very hot) friend as, and I quote, “a 6’1 English goddess”. Send help

[psianabel]

complete jumbled thoughts about Dark Road because holy fuck: Spoilers for like literally everything.

holy shit holy shit holy shit ok so, getting this out of my way,

I'm eating well with Xehanort being a Blueblood LMAO. Called it, love it. The sheer irony of him being a child of destiny and us knowing how his story ends up - delicious.

So many parallels you can draw between Xehanort - Eraqus and Sora - Riku here. In the end Sora is the one who Xehanort should have become and just, goddamn. I'm still on the path of thinking MoM is the reason why this didn't happen, pushing him further into the darkness (talking about love and its false light. man.), then Eraqus leaving him alone and as such, the balance between them destroyed (just as Baldr and his sister),

Baldr eh. Just holy fuck. So i guess he did bring Ragnarok... just not how we expected it to end up lol. Poor boy, oh man. Just. oh man. Oh man.

Bragi hfkdjdodjfofjg GIVE IT UP FOR LUXU REVEAL THREE, congratz to the people who called it episode one, i wasnt one of them lmao jfidjdodg. For me its fucking hilarious now honestly. Luxu please get vessels with not so similar names.

I fucking screamed when Odin summoned Master’s Defender and then called No Name forth, I AM EATING WELL, THESE TWO KEYBLADES MAN. MAN !!!!!! Also extremly interesting how No Name's nature is known, and mannnnnnn him retiring and giving these two keyblades his last two pupils im fucking. h.

KH game with the highest death toll i guess LOL (excluding UX with the keyblade war), my heart already hurt when Hoder died and then THE DEATH DIDNT STOP LIKE HELLO, i actually had to stand up and take a deep breath when Hermod and Urd died like WTF MAN god god god god goodbye i liked u a lot :(

Xehanort having Hoder in his heart got me a lot, just. man. man. There is this small interaction after they are fighting Vidar and Baldr shows up, Xehanort clutches his chest - because Hoder is reacting to Baldr....... its so similar to Sora with Anna and Elsa in KH3 ...... wahhhhhh..... delicious.... just,,, Xehanort and its connections to other people. MAN..

This whole thing with the true Lights is so INTERESTING. Like, they are objects ???? before the Princesses of Heart were a thing... thats so good.

Still wrapping my head around with that summoning of Kingdom Hearts. And ... killing 13 lights for that. god Baldr was so close and it was so so cruel my god. SEEING THEM ALL DIE WAS SO. NAH MAN. NAH. like YEAH WE KNEW THEY WERE ABOUT TO DIE BUT FUCK.

Their names are all soooo interesting. Not going through them all, i just have to mention the heartless that is the final boss has the name of Baldur's ship that carries his dead body in the Norse mythology....... just. oh.

so. the "secret ending". Im fucking yelling at the fact Blue Robe is KHML Player with UX Player reincarnated. just. THIS IS THE PLOT I HAD PREPARED FOR MY PLAYER HELP THIS IS FUCKING FANTASTIC FJDKDBDKFJG also no Player - Xehanort anymore which im, ah well, but Still they have a close connection which is enough for me now i guess -

Baby Xehanort calling Lauriam a skinny boy with pink hair had me laughing so much. like TRUE but dont come for my boy like this ahsjshdodjdkf. I'm kinda :worry: about Skuld's involvement for Xehanort's Mom as i dont really want her .... to have stayed behind ..... but for me to truly accept that I have to see it in ML myself. Still holding onto Subject X, but man,,,,,, Nomura why.

Xehanort saying he wants to have 14 lifetimes has me so c: I really wish for Young Xehanort to return. He should live a life that belongs to him .... i hope he gets to see that. I really want him to hang out with the Guardians of Light...

The whole Underworld thing is going to be so interesting in KH4, because they essentially did the same thing here like Donald and Goofy are trying?? At least we know now that the Underworld is like, universal, for KH worlds. I hope we get to see the upper classmen in some form again. 

This game is an emotional rollercoaster that definitely would have worked better if they released these episodes... episodic. This whole ending was Such an Experience.

Just holy crap I am excited for Missing Link.

My mind is mush. I'm dead tired. What a phenomenal experience.

Missing Link, you have so much explaining to do. And goddamn im in for this ride.

[danddymaro]

Take My Hand |Loki x (Asgardian) Reader x Bucky Barnes

Quick and easy because as much as I would love to make a whole series, I don't have the capability to do so regularly and not disappoint.

With that being said this might just be left open as a single shot so I don't have to pick lol.

Word count: 5097

A/N: Have I mentioned I love drama?

-  because I love drama. 

Loki is a serious drift between romantic and platonic, and I just... I just love it, because you're like, hmmm. 

Is there something there?

Am I overthinking it?

Who do I pick?

Long-term friendship W/ Loki

Reader is Asgardian (as mentioned)

Bucky is in a half and half state. He’s somewhat good, but dealing with his stuff.

A lot more Loki W/reader. 

 Take My hand

She was a perfect woman, and he wholeheartedly believed it. 

In his eyes she was the embodiment of everything he could ever ask for, but, even then, that didn't mean he couldn't be a stupid man.

‘It’s really for the best,’ He told himself, all in order to convince himself that what he was about to do was for the best. 

‘ - Because right now...it’s not the best time for any of this,’ He thought to himself, biting his lower lip as he felt her reaching for him for warmth.

‘-It’d been in the heat of the moment,’ He inwardly spoke, wanting to take away any special meaning that the moment could hold.

‘yeah,’ he went on, wishing he could go back in time before they let themselves get carried away.

‘It’s just that...’ he went on, in a desperate attempt to convince himself that it was just like with any other time, and any other woman.

Though, in truth, as much as he tried to fight it, it was anything but insignificant. Far, deep within his being he did not want to forget the lovely moment now that it had occurred.

It was then that (f/n) pressed her cheek to his chest, her ear landing just a few inches off from his heart.

Her arm was then draped over his stomach, allowing her hand to land at his side, the woman seeming fully contempt with life as they cuddled.

‘It didn’t mean anything,’ He added with a long exhale, trying to convince himself as much as he could, hoping that if he repeated it enough, it would somehow become easier.

‘(f/n),’ He started, ‘Is this how you are with everyone else?’ He then wondered, asking himself if the cuddly nature was meant just for him, or for just anyone that lay next to her.

 ‘(f/n),’ He then added, his heart weighing down, ‘If I tell you a lie....would you just believe it? Will you just believe it...not having expected anything else from me but a single moment?’ He added, the same muscle tightening as the woman seemed to be at compete ease. 

The sentiment was infectious and as he felt her melt, it was hard for him not to do the same. Even if his mind was far too plagued by a tornado of torment, his body got the message.

Naturally, the tension in his body melted, and it only made things more difficult, because it just meant that his heart was responding to her embrace, knowing that this time, it was different.

‘I know I’ve got a nasty reputation right now,’ He started, ‘ but it’s because, really, I don’t care about seeing them the day after.’ He silently admitted to the (h/c) haired woman.

He’d somewhat gone back to his old ways, though, not quite entirely because it was hard to fall back into being the same charmer he used to be when he’d gone through such a long-termed torment.

 But, at the very least, he was graced with good looks, and it did plenty for him when he lacked the proper social skills to woo a woman.

He’d shamelessly had little hook ups here and there, and that was just what they were, and nothing more.

‘They know what to expect, and for me,  it’s a routine.’ he thought idly, finding the arrangements he had  better than spending the time alone in silence with his own thoughts.

‘I care about you a lot.’ He thought with certainty, pointing out what separated her form everyone else. ‘I think...that maybe... I might have actually fallen in love,’ He then corrected himself, finally admitting it. 

‘If I think about you so much,’ He started, knowing it wasn’t right how frequently she came to mind, well aware that what he felt wasn’t something that he could feel for just anyone.

‘if you’re the first thing that comes to mind when I think about the good things in life...’ he then trailed off, filling it the rest with a silence that reached his mind.

‘ (F/n), I choose you.’ He declared. “ I’d always choose you,’ He thought with determination. ‘I just hope you know...that right now, (f/n), I’m choosing you. 

Above me. 

Above everyone else. 

I’m choosing what’s best for you, and not what I want instead,’ he thought with lament.

‘ Right now, I’m no where near where I want to be.’ He went on with the same sorrow. 

‘ There’s a reason I never stay overnight. 

There’s a reason I don’t get too close to any one else...because it’s better for people to think I’m some asshole than some crazy psychopath.’ He told himself, not wanting to share his misery with the lovely woman.

‘You deserve more,’ He thought with certainty. ‘You’re meant for better things,’ He told himself, never forgetting her origin, knowing that she’d always be much more than he deserved.

She was a literal goddess, and he was just some broken down old fool.

“(f/n),” He started before closing his eyes while he let a deep breath leave his nostrils,

“(F/n),” He then said again, letting his mouth do the work, disconnecting himself from it all to make it more believable, because if she saw the misery that threatened to overtake him, she’d have doubt.

She stared at him with widened (e/c) colored eyes, the happy glow to them fading as he continued to speak, giving her an excuse to why he couldn’t stay, and much more, why he wasn’t one meant to settle down.

"- You understand....right?" He questioned her, and throughout his speech, it took all the power he could muster to not look back at her heartbroken expression, even though  it felt like his duty to ease it.

‘When you’re upset, I feel like I have to put you at ease,’ He thought with tenderness, knowing the pain was there, and that it existed on her beautiful face.

  He knew he'd caused it and instead, chose to cower, biting his tongue as he heard her take in a long, strong breath through her nostrils.

She’d long let go of him, and had chosen to distance herself the more he spoke,

"Of course," She responded, the hand that clutched the covers shaking before she released the fierce grip, finally collecting herself enough to hold back her melancholy.

She believed his deception because until then, she hadn't had a reason to distrust him.

Until then, he’d always been honest with her.

"I understand." She said with a soft, blue breath, her (e/c) colored eyes watching him as he slid from beneath the covers, soon throwing on his clothes in a way that was far too collected for a man that had regrets.

There was no stumble, nor fumble and she looked on with melting shoulders.

Quietly, (f/n) handed him his shirt, offering him a soft, yet broken smile, thinking she had mastered the false expression, though, failing the final test.

"You ok?" He asked her, his voice coming out soft and kind, because he never meant to hurt her.

'No...' She inwardly wept.

"Yeah...I get it," She said instead, her eyes fluttering close as he neared her,  laying a soft kiss on her hairline.

"- I'm heading out now," he informed her, his right hand gently patting down (h/c) colored hair, the affectionate act causing her to shrink as she nodded in acceptance.

'Please...don't,' she silently begged.

 'Not yet. If you're going to go anyways, just stay a little longer,' she added as she watched him go, wondering if she’d been the only one to hold back on calling him, or if he was used to being pleaded.

It didn’t take long for her to finally let loose of the harsh grip she had on herself, choking out soft sob after he left, properly reacting to his rejection once he was out of sight, and problobly off to his same routine. 

And that was the part that hurt most, that in the end, she was just like all of the others.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Please...” (f/n) breathed, her voice down and tired as she tried to keep the conversation with the man civil.

But, it was fruitless, because as much as she wanted to avoid the conversation, he was detrained to dig deep, going as far as to follow her through the entirety of the empty facility. He  remained hot on her trail with quick, long strides that only ceased when she decided to finally stop and turn towards him with the same defeated gaze she’d wear whenever she was shamed and beaten.

“You are a god!” Loki barked back at her, his emerald eyes shadowed over and dimmed as he roared out the words. 

He spat them at the woman to remind her what was her true title, because he detested how fiercely she tried to play home with a realm that she didn’t belong to.

“You shouldn't be played a fool by an insignificant, Midgardian, lowlife,-”  

“- Loki please,” She cut him off with a weak voice, desperately trying to both calm and silence him.

'Not now,' She secretly pleaded, not wanting to hear the harsh speak, especially with the news she’d just received.

She hardly found the strength to plead with him, and at that very moment, she was certain that it was the last bit of resistance she had left, the hollow feeling that she'd been consumed by only weakening her furthermore as the days progressed. 

Left as nothing more than a walking husk, she cowered, and it was something he could see.

 Her attempt was futile as well as her will to reason, and it only seemed to fuel his means to speak in such a heated tone, because the (f/n) he knew wasn’t so frail. 

 “You still defend him?!” He questioned her in complete astonishment, the tone borderline mocking.

In response she said nothing, and the woman only stared at her feet in disgrace, swallowing down a small wad of spit that would be her defense.

She couldn't find anything to say, or justify herself, and her silence was her only answer at the moment, the only one she could provide. 

 Because what was she to say? 

Yes, she was a fool.

Yes, she simply strung along.

 Yes to all the accusations, however, "Please…" she said softly, slowly lifting her gaze to meet his, finally finding it in herself to look directly at him.

 She couldn't bear to listen to more, because despite everything that happened, it hurt her to hear the demi-god speak of Bucky in such a way that demoted him into nothing but worthless rubble.

 No matter what had happened between them, nor how much bitterness was left in between to savor, she still loved him too much to sit through any ill talk of him. Aside from that, the way Loki threw her own foolishness In her face burned, scathing the warrior that lay dormant.

“No pleading me woman!  I have sat back and watched you gravel and lower your status to an expendable waste of time and space here on Midgard!” He said loudly.

Her self-esteem was already at an all-time low, and his words only stung more, causing her to visibly shrink, her shoulders sinking as she accepted his venom.

All sympathy was left aside as his rant ran, and she wasn't surprised because she knew how heated and stubborn he could be, and by then she was well aware that she might as well speak her feeble plea to a brick wall.

'I know,' She quietly mused.

 He watched her take in the insults with the same grimace and the sight didn’t soften his harsh glare in the least bit, nor deter his speech, and it was then that he made his final decision, 

“I am not pleading you, nor am I requesting this,” he stated lowly, and  the way he looked at her almost frightened her because she knew he had something severe to come. 

Bracing herself, she looked up at him, (e/c) colored eyes wide and teary, waiting for what was to come.

 “I demand you return to Asgard with me today.” he finished, each word spat out firmly. 

His chin was held high as his eyes dared her to defy him, and at that, her heart came to a sudden stop.

“Today?!” she breathed, “ Loki- No, No, No, I can't simply leave like that.” She said frantically, nearly on the verge of tears, the panic she felt rising, momentarily shielding her from feeling the full strength of her sorrow. 

“You can't?”  He said, raising a brow,“…or you won't?” he asked her, silence ensuing after his low murmur.

"What stops you?" He questioned her, wanting to hear her say it, itching for her to face the reality of her decisions.

She tried her best to put on a brave front, but failed miserably and soon enough, tears began to fall down her face. Quickly, she hung her head to hide her worthless state, however, hiding her tears did nothing to stifle her sniffles, letting him know she was breaking down. 

“ Loki..." She breathed.

‘I can’t go now,’ She thought to herself with weakness.

"- I'm pregnant…” she sniffed, her voice as soft as silk, completely delicate and woven with the finest fibers of desolation and helplessness. Through her (h/c) colored bangs, her ( e/c) eyes Scanned his face, only to find It unmoved, the expression giving her unease. 

“And your point is?” He said with a low growl, annoyed. 

The news didn't faze him, nor did it lessen his piercing glare, and it unnerved her, “Did you not hear me?” She questioned him, struck by disbelief. 

  Didn't he just hear her? 

Did he even understand what the implications of her being in such a state meant?

She couldn't just leave, it wasn't right to do so.

“I heard you,” he said placing both hands behind his back, breathing in a soft, mellow sigh that loosened his tense body, “In Fact,” he began,  “I knew before you mentioned it to me.” He said coolly. 

"Y-you knew," she said shocked, though not entirely convinced, "That's impossible..." she murmured with uncertainty written all over her person. 

she stared straight at him for a form of proof that indicated he could be lying, but she got nothing in return, only the same arrogant look he'd mastered. 

“-Three weeks." He said simply, " You are three weeks pregnant,” he said before giving her a satisfied look that was in response to her expression of shock.

"Don't be so surprised,  the question on your face is insulting.” He huffed, “ Need I remind you, that to fool a trickster is of unlikeliness my dear? " he said smugly. 

"Then if you knew, then why give me such an ultimatum!" She furiously bellowed.

Why put her through the pain? 

Why tear her child from a father? 

Why try and force her into leaving?

The questions burdened her as she faced him, but the growing fury she felt forced her to retain them, not knowing where to start. 

He huffed out a dry chuckle before closing the space in between them, slowly stepping closer.

 "As I said before. I am not asking you to come with me, I am telling you, and trust me when I say you will comply," he asserted.

By then his taller figure loomed over hers, making her feel even smaller than before, the sudden burst of passion she had dying out as he towered over her.

"Are you really going to force me? " She murmured dejectedly, knowing that any hope of defying him wouldn't happen if he was fully intent.  

" Only if I must, " He said calmly, seemingly cooled down.. 

She became crestfallen, the woman withdrawn and small by then, “Please don't make me...” she sniffed, looking up at him with hurt (e/c) colored eyes.

 "Think about this, the child will be born on a bed of silk and surrounded by the finest. In Asgard, they will have a lasting life, one of prosperity, of higher thinking and understanding. 

They won't be held back by petty wars and battles, the very ones you attempt to stop. 

What more could one want for their own?" He reasoned with an almost too kind smile, lulling her onto his side, hoping to easily strum her along. 

He then opened his mouth to speak again before she could deny him, using his silver tongue,

“Do you truly believe a child here would not suffer ?" He questioned her. 

" You, more than anyone know how much corruption and danger there is here, especially for a person such as yourself….one who has so many foes." He reminded her.

 " - With that said, would you would allow your child to live here, risking thier life? ” he asked her.

She was wedged between a spear and the wall, because as he stated out the facts, she was well aware of how much more favorable the other realm was, however, there existed a factor that bound her to the place she now called home, 

"My child needs a father. " She said softly, so much so he couldn't have heard her at any farther distance. 

Instantly, the emerald-eyed man turned from her, making an attempt to not capture her heartbroken gaze, and  yet again silence filled the room, the space disrupted by the long, hiss he let escape.

" Oh," he breathed, " And here they have one, yes? " He dared to ask.

The question nearly killed her, because the dagger that had already been wedged in her heart was moving, digging deeper, and rotating in a way it ensured there wouldn't be any healing.

‘ he wouldn't... I know he wouldn't reject a child of his own flesh and blood.’ she thought with a glimmer of hope, trusting the man she'd given herself to.

His heart was good, and she was convinced of it.

She desperately wanted to believe it, however, Loki was a man that knew how to crush one's dreams, the soft-tongued man always aware of what words to use, because he’d mastered the art of manipulation.

" - The man who rejected you, who used you, who humiliated you in the vilest way he could… He is worthy of being a father? " he questioned her, finding a weak point.

'He doesn't want to be with me,' She then thought to herself. ' he doesn't want that life....so of course, why would he be willing to stop? 

For me...For a child that comes from me...

One he never planned...

Why should I force him...right?’

“ Do you believe that if he cared for you, he would toss you away so easily, without even a glance at your way. 

- Watching you suffer, seeing you slowly crumble… and do nothing?

I could never sit by and watch you suffer.” He then told her. 

“How is it that he can?” He then asked her, watching her swallow hard.

“ Much more , Do you truly believe a man such as himself would be safe around a child? Again I ask -

Would you put your own child at risk? “

Her eyes went wide and she sucked in a strangled breath, taking in the words with a fastly thudding heart, 

“You’re wrong !” she said stubbornly, “He wouldn't harm his own child, to any child. To any one!” she rambled. “He wouldn't ! he isn't like that, not anymore Loki!” She said with panic.

'No...you can play with every insecurity I have,' She silently spoke, ' but that is not one,' she thought with confidence.

 “ of course HE isn't, but what about the Winter soldier? what about the ruthless assassin that lies dormant?

What of that feral beast he becomes ?

Is he not unstable still?”

She shook her head with a certain look to her eyes, pride swelling through at the gaze, “ You can't play on a fear I long let go of. I know he is strong enough. 

He is different." she said with borderline arrogance. 

He then sighed, the breath sounding exasperated.  

"Return to Asgard. whatever fool that crosses your path could take the role." He finished, beginning to walk away, not willing to negotiate any longer, growing weary of the conversation.

 "If a father is what you need then find a suitable one once we arrive," He advised her. “You’re still in your early stages,” he reminded her, letting her know how easy it’d be to just push the responsibility onto some other fool.

Her eyes became wide at his solution and her nostrils flared in anger, a sudden burst of fury striking her,

“I will do no such thing !” she growled, quickly pulling him back.

With her quick hand shot directly at him, she managed to grab his shoulder and spin him around roughly. And it was at that moment that he found himself facing a different woman, one he recognized. 

Fire blazed in her (e/c) colored orbs, and by then the tears no longer flowed, slightly pleasing him.

The display of a knowing smirk made its way onto his face as he watched her, preferring her in her current state.

" That is deceiving,  and a much more, a disgusting act. I could never do such a thing !" She said in between gritted teeth, "And for you to expect it from me, I'm appalled." She further seethed.

"You, are simply unbearable," He snickered.

"So are you, darling," she bit back.

‘Just when I think we’ve become strangers...we come to this point again.’ he thought to himself. ‘A change in scenery. A different year and stage in our lives, and yet, it’s all warmly familiar,’ He added, by then certain that he and the woman were destined to be at each other sides.

‘Alright,’ He decided, knowing what had to be done.

"Unbearable woman..." He breathed, " I have another proposition." he informed her.

She nearly tore out her hair at his words, frustrated, because, Could he not just understand?

she couldn't just leave,

"NOTHING YOU SAY COULD POSS-"

"Then I will be that fool…per se."

" …what? " She breathed stepping back from him, anger having disappeared. Instead, she stared at him in awe, as if he had grown a new head entirely.

“Idiot...” She murmured, “Just what are you saying!” She questioned him, still in shock, not knowing how to really react.

" You heard me, I will take responsibility of you both." He said with a low voice, his eyes cast down as he spoke, looking almost hesitant to word his proposal for a reason other than doubt of his own. 

Truly, if there was any reason he looked away, it was because there was a vulnerability to him that he didn’t want to show so openly. 

'Why are you doing this Loki ?’ She gloomily wondered.

“- Why?” She questioned him, “ Just why are you so pent on me leaving with you?” She asked him while taking a step closer to him. 

Her hand reached out to him, her palm gently taking hold of his cheek, easing him to properly gaze at her. 

 “Why?” she breathed, questioning him yet again.

“Could the god of lies and deceit finally tell me the truth?" She challenged him, the words making his lips twitch with the most delicate touch of amusement.

 "- Why not? " He said simply, still not looking towards her, his eyes stubbornly drawn away.

"B-Because !" She argued, not finding where to begin, 

‘ Because I don’t want to hurt you.

Because you deserve so much more. 

Because I love you too much to damn you in any way.’ 

Finally finding it in himself, he pulled up a soft smile, “I see no fault in my plan.” He assured her, the confident comment not easing her.

“It's marriage Loki! A family!” She cried in frustration. “It’s an eternity!” She went on, no longer convinced he knew the true implications of such ties.

“- I understand what it means fully well,” He started, “ And it seems that you do too, so could it be that you simply wish to not bind yourself to me in specific?” he said looking insulted, a hint of playfulness hidden in his words, the childish speak further wounding her, because the lightheartedness he showed only highlighted his true devotion.

His sweet banter only showed how sure he was. 

“No... it's just... what about you?” She whispered with a crooked smile, an imperfect expression that tried too hard to properly showcase all of her inner musings from sadness and loss, to confusion and joy, and even hints of frustration.

“-What of me?” he asked her back, his tone just as sweet as hers. 

“Don't play the role of a fool, because it doesn't fit you well,” she rebutted, the words making him crack a true smile. 

“Do you not see it as sacred as I do?” She said with glittering eyes.

‘To me...this means devoted love. 

This means there is no end. 

This is something my heart has always yearned for,’

“Yes.” He answered her without a shred of hesitance, no second thought hidden between the spaces of the words.

“Then why me…?” She questioned him, “ Why make the sacrifice for me?” choking on her own words when she asked the one question she had begged to be answered.

“ why take me from my home here?” She continued to ask him. “Why put me before your own desires?” (f/n) said while beginning to shake.

“This is my desire,” He said as his hand rose to cover hers, all while his head leaned to her palm even moreso, 

“ I wish you could truly grasp at how special you are. 

How rare it is to find a woman such as yourself, in just about any part of the universe, even while scouring entire realms," he proceeded, grasping her little limb before lacing his fingers with hers, and suspending them in the air between them.

“That child of yours, they will take on my name, and whatever glories are bestowed upon them will be preceded by both of our titles, hopefully with pride,” He said with a small chuckle.

She could detect no lies, and at that, her hand squeezed his, 

“ A child is an extension of you, and so, I could never deny them. They will be mine, just as they are yours.” he spoke before releasing a low, airy chuckle, 

“Perhaps then I can show Odin how a true parent is to treat their son,”

He finished with a snide remark. 

“Son..?” She questioned him, lightly tilting her head as she gazed at him, “A son?” she repeated while envisioning such a child. 

‘Would our son hold resemblance to their father...or would they somehow hold all of me instead?’ She idly thought to herself, envisioning the same beautiful blue eyes that now caused her sorrow being possessed by her child.

“ Yes dear,” Loki said with certainty, “ A son. A boy. wouldn't that be marvelous?” He questioned her, seeming enthralled by the very idea, so much that he slid his free hand down to her upper back, the other that linked with her own held dearly as he took a step to the side, performing a lax spin that was of a poorly preformed waltz, and it reminded her so much of the little dances they preformed as children.

“ Then what if it's a girl?” she interjected, “Would you still be as willing to accept them? ” She said while smugly awaiting his answer, wanting to see him weigh in every possibility.  

“What do you mean if it's a girl ?” He said while stopping their spinning, “ Then there will be a princess born, and she will be a proper lady,” He responded without question, mindlessly falling in sync with her little steps. 

“Oh, and mother will just adore her. We will teach her all sorts of magic and quick Wit.

  She will have both our bronze and brain,

  Your righteous convictions, your every strength...they will be celebrated.

And every weakness she develops will be assured by me,” He swore to her, seeing only a bright path in the wake.

“She will be a gem formed in the same mine as her perfect mother,” He said proudly, but not soon after did his frown overtake him, abruptly stopping their little waltz,

“Which in turn...will mean she will be sought after by just about every man in Asgard,” He mumbled lowly, breaking off from her with a bothered downturn,

“And of course, none will ever be worthy of her, “ he said with a present scowl.

Momentarily, she stared at him, her sight, and mind alike completely taken by the prince who she could only then, describe as precious.

“ Traces of doubt nested within me, until just now, “ She admitted, “You're serious aren't you..?” she asked him with a small chuckle, her (e/c) colored eyes gazing at him with an even brighter light.

“ And I keep asking myself...why?” she said softly, shaking her head all the while, and it was then that his entire face melted into a sweetened softness that was further accented by the gentle smile he presented.

“ You have been with me through and through, just like a shadow, but unlike one, you don’t stand behind me.

You don’t cower yourself, and, instead, show me devotion while everyone else looks away.

 You’ve defended me, despite the many times I've paid you back with everything but the truth. “ he said with shame.

“(f/n), with you, I’ve felt true love,” He admitted to her.

“What we have, to me, has always been treasured.

It has always been cherished. 

I was never doubtful of what it was,” He further confessed. “I do not want you to look at that man more than you have to.

I do not want you to live in the same place he calls home.

- I cannot stand your suffrage.

Do you understand me?

You've always been one to find reason behind my actions and against all logic and reasoning.

You’ve always tried to save me, so now, shouldn't I do the same with you?” He questioned her. 

“(F/n),” He airily murmured, “Would you take my hand, and disappear?” He then asked her, pulling back to just the touch of fingertips.

With an upturned palm, he offered her a sweet smile as he repeated the question a second time,

“(f/n)...Would you take my hand?

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

Hi, first off I ship Zutara and I come in peace. I was pointed your way by a friend when I asked for people who ship kataang who are nevertheless willing to hear different views. I have lurked on blog a week and finally got up my nerve to ask how you or any other Kataang can deny that the last part of book 3 was completely Zutara but then stopped abruptly with no buildup? You can finesse tone on text so I'm not being sarcastic or bitchy, it is a serious question (1/5)

In The Southern Raiders, Katara realizes she has been wrong about Zuko. In Ember Island Players, she realizes Aang is not as mature as she thought he was, and in the finale, Katara does not care a whit that Aang is gone. I am serious and as someone who is no Aang stan but likes him, I’m actually annoyed by how little anyone cared about his disappearance. It went from “Aang’s gone!” to “Okay whatever, let’s find Iroh so he can kill Ozai.” (2/5)

Katara was all over Zuko (honestly, again not being a jerk) in the finale until for whatever reason, she wasn’t. She was giving him a pep talk about Iroh, she was going with him to Azula, she was healing him and saying he saved her not the other way around. I genuinely don’t get why this isn’t seen as romantic. I will grant you that Zuko would not have allowed Azula to kill anyone but I feel the point here was Zuko realizing his life was pointless if Katara was killed. (4/5)

And then literally at the end, Mai shows up after Zuko not talking about her at all for six episodes and declares herself Zuko’s girlfriend. And Katara kisses Aang after being annoyed with and by him arguably since The Southern Raiders. I get that Kataang “won” and I’ve made peace with that, but ... I can’t understand why Kataang shippers are okay with such a crap story. I swear on my gmom [sic] if they’d done this for [Zvtara], I’d be mad as hell. So I don’t understand, I really don’t. (5/5)

As always, I shall begin with a disclaimer: anon, you do not have to agree with this post. No one has to agree with this post, as it is strictly my own thoughts on the subject matter raised here! As per usual, I will not be putting this in the main tags - much less the Zvtara tag! - because I have basic fandom decency, lmao. If you (the general you, not anon specifically) do disagree with this post, that is totally fine, I simply ask that you are polite in expressing your disagreement (if you choose to do so at all! no one is expected to, lmao. i promise).

Alright. Formalities are out of the way!

I’ll admit I giggled a little bit when you say you lurked on my blog for a week, because I’ve actually talked about this subject numerous times in the past! I just found it funny you hadn’t stumbled across any posts about it yet, lol. So, as a heads up, know that I will be providing several links in this post since - again - this subject and related subjects have been analyzed a multitude of times before. I highly recommend reading them all! Mostly because I don’t intend to spend forever restating what’s been said over and over and over lmaooo. I will provide the resources, but it is up to each individual to take advantage of them.

To begin: your ask actually contains a few logical fallacies, anon! I do not mean this as shade or to belittle you - I fall victim to this issue all the time myself. Anyone who writes analyses or participates in debates does! Humans are imperfect and often like to cut corners to reach a conclusion. It is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about because - as the existence of your ask in inbox indicates - you are willing to learn more. So kudos to you, my friend!

Alright. So what logical fallacies am I talking about here? (For the record: specific definitions of logical fallacies were taken from here.)

1. Hasty Generalization.

“A hasty generalization is a general statement without sufficient evidence to support it.” Numerous claims are made in this ask that I have absolutely no doubt you believe to be true, anon, but there really isn’t any concrete evidence to support it! I will go into more detail later, of course, but let’s quickly look at one example:

“In Ember Island Players, [Katara] realizes Aang is not as mature as she thought he was…”

For the time being, I will ask but one question: from the show itself, not fanon, how do you know this?

2. Causal Fallacy

Ah, this guy. My own worst enemy, tbh! “A causal fallacy is any logical breakdown when identifying a cause,” of which there are several types. “One causal fallacy is the false cause or non causa pro causa (‘not the-cause for a cause’) fallacy, which is when you conclude about a cause without enough evidence to do so.” In your ask, you claim:

“I will grant you that Zuko would not have allowed Azula to kill anyone but I feel the point here was Zuko realizing his life was pointless if Katara was killed.”

Again, for the time being, I will ask only one question: from the show itself, not fanon, what led you to believe this statement?

“Another kind of causal fallacy is the correlational fallacy also known as cum hoc ergo propter hoc (Lat., ‘with this therefore because of this’). This fallacy happens when you mistakenly interpret two things found together as being causally related.” In your ask, you claim:

“Katara was all over Zuko (honestly, again not being a jerk) in the finale until for whatever reason, she wasn’t. She was giving him a pep talk about Iroh, she was going with him to Azula, she was healing him and saying he saved her not the other way around. I genuinely don’t get why this isn’t seen as romantic.”

I will ask one question: from the show itself, not fanon, why would you believe these are indicative of romance? (Consider the context the show is situated in, too - e.g. the war, Katara being Azula’s only available match in skill, etc.)

The reason I bring up the issue of logical fallacies is again not at all to make you feel bad, anon!! You were simply trying to express your point to me and I greatly appreciate you taking the time to do so. See, your ask actually presents a larger fandom trend:

Misconstruing fanon as canon.

What you have offered to me, anon, are fanon conclusions. To clarify: there is absolutely nothing wrong with fanon. I adore fanon interpretations (an example I have used in the past is Kuzaang - like, I don’t care that there’s no canon basis! I do what I want lmao!), but a line has to be drawn between exploring fanon interpretations and expecting everyone to take that fanon as canon. Again, anon, this is not your fault! It is not any one person’s fault, lmao. It is an issue of fandom as a whole, and all of us fall victim to it.

With that in mind, I will break down the different components of your ask. I will also do my best to be brief - as aforementioned, I and others have analyzed this issue numerous times before, lmao. To avoid confusion, it would be best to read through each or at least most links as they are provided!

Firstly, there are two posts I have made in the past that almost directly answer your overarching question here in this ask. Please read them prior to continuing, as I will occasionally reference them:

This post explains how Zvtara was not built up from TSR/EIP-onwards, and how their supposed “canon enemies to lovers arc” is a completely fanon construction.

This post explains the issue of the “canon Zvtara” rhetoric from rabid zkers (and you, anon, are absolutely NOT one, in case you were worried).

Alrighty. With that out the way, let’s get into it!

“In The Southern Raiders, Katara realizes she has been wrong about Zuko.”

Gotta start by saying that TSR is not about Zuko. TSR is, first and foremost, about Katara. Katara does not realize she was wrong about Zuko, because here’s the truth - she wasn’t wrong about him. Zuko did horrible things to the Gaang. Katara was not wrong to hold him accountable for that. What Katara does realize is that holding such rage so close to her chest is bad for her. This rage was not solely anger against Zuko, either; it was of course about Yon Rha, too, but it was also anger towards Kya and Katara herself. Essentially, TSR is where Katara realizes she has to forgive herself. Zuko is only one part of her journey (similar to Aang’s role in the episode, if a different end of the spectrum).

This post explains how TSR was fundamentally about Katara.

Additional resources about TSR:

This post explains Aang’s comments to Katara in TSR and how Katara herself recognized their validity.

This post explains why both Aang and Zuko were important to Katara in TSR.

This post is an extensive breakdown of Aang and Katara’s relationship within TSR.

“In Ember Island Players, [Katara] realizes Aang is not as mature as she thought he was…”

You provide no context for this claim, so I’m going to work with the assumption this is about their reactions to the play itself and the infamous kiss!

There is something important we must keep in mind when discussing EIP: the play they watch is literally imperialist propaganda. It is meant to demean the entire Gaang, and indeed it does exactly that. You mention Katara and Aang specifically, so I will recap what I have explained before about their depictions in EIP: Katara, an indigenous woman, is hypersexualized and portrayed as overly emotional (and thus “irrational”). This reinforces the Fire Nation sentiment that women of the Water Tribes are less intelligent and less suited for “responsibility” than Fire Nation women. Aang, a pacifist and the sole survivor of genocide who is also canonly the male character most comfortable with femininity and spirituality, is portrayed as a flighty, airheaded woman (this is a well-known imperialist tactic meant to emasculate the target, seeing as masculinity was often equated with power in fascist regimes; thus, they effectively belittled Aang before the FN audience). This reinforces the Fire Nation sentiment that the Air Nomads were foolish, weak people who deserved to die.

In other words, of course Aang and Katara were upset about how they portrayed in the play. It is understandable that tensions would be running high and consequently that mistakes (we all know the one) would be made.

This post explains how EIP belittles each member of the Gaang (and why the play is not indicative of Zvtara).

This post talks specifically about EIP and their portrayal of Aang and Katara.

Now onto the kiss. As everyone knows and no one has ever disagreed with, Aang was wrong to kiss Katara. Point blank!

But what people do misunderstand is Katara and Aang’s feelings regarding the kiss. Given your above quote, I assume you believe Aang kissing Katara supposedly made her realize that Aang wasn’t as mature as she once thought. On the surface, this seems like a logical conclusion! But digging deeper reveals… well, there’s nothing that indicates this conclusion at all. Even jumping ahead to the finale, when Zuko has doubts over Aang’s return, Katara demonstrates her faith in Aang (although of course she’s nervous - I won’t deny the obvious, lmao) as she says, “Aang won’t lose. He’s gonna come back. He has to.”

In other words, nothing in canon suggests that Katara believes Aang is immature because of what happened in EIP. She still trusts in his return, as she did even before she knew him (and arguably is more confident in him now, given the 60~ episodes of them growing closer). Furthermore, when Aang does disappear, Katara doesn’t have an outburst about how “immature” it was for him to “run away again.” The viewers know Aang didn’t run away, of course (fans who insist he did are not worth arguing with, anon - they don’t understand the show, rip), but that is a luxury the rest of the Gaang is not afforded. And yet even though Aang has vanished off the face of the planet, Katara still believes he will save the world. If anything, that signifies the utmost confidence in his skill and maturity!

To go back to the kiss itself, this post explains the true source of Katara’s conflict in turning down Aang (hint: she says it herself in the episode! you know, the whole war going on) and why the EIP kiss did not sink Kataang’s relationship.

Additional sources about EIP:

This post explains how the EIP kiss was resolved through narrative parallels.

This post explains how the EIP kiss is so often blown out of proportion.

“… and in the finale, Katara does not care a whit that Aang is gone. I am serious and as someone who is no Aang stan but likes him, I’m actually annoyed by how little anyone cared about his disappearance. It went from ‘Aang’s gone!’ to ‘Okay whatever, let’s find Iroh so he can kill Ozai.’”

As I already touched upon, Katara didn’t need a soliloquy to emphasize her connection to Aang once he disappeared. She trusts that he will return. She says so herself. I guess I just don’t understand how you got from Point A, Katara has consistent faith in Aang, to Point B, Katara and the rest of the Gaang didn’t care about Aang’s disappearance. It’s honestly a bit more like Point A to Point Z, lmao! If you would like to expand on your logic here, I would love to hear more!!

There are a few specific aspects I want to note about your rationale, though. You argue the Gaang moves from ‘Aang disappeared’ to ‘let’s find Iroh,’ but the Gaang actually went from:

1. Aang disappeared!

2. They search the entire island for him.

3. Okay, they couldn’t find him, so they track down June and have her try to find Aang.

4. June says to them, “No, I mean he’s gone gone. He doesn’t exist.” (And she clarifies to Sokka that she doesn’t mean dead, either - she means Aang has totally blinked out of their world.)

5. Only after all of this do they decide to track down Iroh.

The Gaang cares immensely about the fact that Aang is gone, and you could actually argue they waste time by trying to track him down. They don’t give up until June essentially tells them that some Spirit World shenanigans were involved. Even if you don’t think they reached that specific conclusion, I have to ask: What else were they supposed to do? They were told Aang didn’t exist! How are they supposed to fix that?

Well, they can’t. So they do the next best thing: they find Iroh, the man who knows Ozai better than anyone and is also one of the most talented firebenders in the world. In my opinion, that’s a very logical step to take.

“Katara was all over Zuko (honestly, again not being a jerk) in the finale until for whatever reason, she wasn’t. She was giving him a pep talk about Iroh, she was going with him to Azula, she was healing him and saying he saved her not the other way around. I genuinely don’t get why this isn’t seen as romantic.”

I’ll be blunt here, lol: in my opinion, nothing of what you listed in your ask is inherently romantic.

Okay. I am going to assume you’ve read the first two posts I linked earlier (“Zvtara did not have an E-L arc” and “the ‘canon’ Zvtara of rabid zkers has issues”), because I do not intend to rehash everything they contain, lol. Consequently, I presume you realize by now that there was no canon romantic interest between Zuko and Katara.

And as I always say, just because there wasn’t a canon romance doesn’t mean people can’t take fanon routes! Of course they can! That’s the entire point of fanon! But fanon is not canon, and I am strictly referring to canon in my discussions.

You claim Katara was all over Zuko, which in itself I don’t think is an accurate assessment, because she doesn’t really do anything with Zuko outside the three points you bring up (other than the June gag, which I addressed in one of the aforementioned linked posts). So I’ll go ahead and break down each instance you provide!

1. “[Katara] was giving [Zuko] a pep talk about Iroh”

Katara asked Zuko if he was okay. She asked him if he was genuinely sorry. She reassures him that Iroh will forgive him. That’s… all. Not to diminish the significance of this conversation, but it’s not exactly an intimate, romantically-charged discussion (unless fanon-ized). But on that note, let’s tackle the canon significance of this moment!

Katara knows firsthand the challenge of forgiving Zuko. And she knows that Zuko understands how hard it was for her to forgive him (note: Katara’s anger was totally justified, and anyone who disagrees is probably a rabid Zuko stan lmao). She also recognizes that Zuko is terrified it will take Iroh the same struggle to forgive him that Katara went through. This scene is not related to romance at all. It’s about compassion. It’s about Katara and Zuko’s friendship having progressed, slowly but surely, to the point where she’s not afraid to extend empathy to him anymore (seeing as the first time, beneath Ba Sing Se, did not go so well; you know - Aang died and all). It’s about Zuko recognizing his own fallibility (and the audience recognizing how much he’s grown). He questions how he can even face his uncle after all he’s done to the man, which is a far cry from his entitled attitude in TSR, where he demanded to know why Katara didn’t trust him when everyone else had forgiven him.

To make this moment, this moment about Zuko’s relationship with his uncle who is all but a literal father to him, this moment of vulnerability, of guilt, of remorse, of growth, to claim this powerful moment is about a nonexistent romantic relationship? In my opinion, that is incredibly reductive to what this scene is supposed to signify. And again, there is nothing wrong with people exploring such a possibility in fanon, but in canon? Nah. It doesn’t track.

2. “[Katara] was going with [Zuko] to Azula”

Don’t forget that at first, Zuko planned to take on Azula alone. He doesn’t request Katara to accompany him until Iroh tells him that he’ll need help. As such, Zuko’s immediate agreement with Iroh is reflective of his personal growth (Book 1 and 2 Zuko would have argued and insisted he didn’t need any help). It also demonstrates, however, that Katara was not obsessively on Zuko’s mind. He doesn’t choose Katara until Iroh points out that Zuko will need assistance in taking Azula down. This means that Zuko’s choice of Katara to join him is a tactical decision, not an emotional one. And by all accounts, it’s a damn good decision! Zuko witnessed firsthand beneath Ba Sing Se a) how powerful Katara was (e.g. that wave after Aang died) and b) how Katara was the only one who could take on Azula*.

Of course, besides the fact that Katara was the only match for Azula, who else was Zuko going to choose? Sokka and Suki, while talented in their own right, were no competition for Azula. Toph, while the greatest earthbender in the world, was needed to metalbend the airships. Katara was the only (and the best!) option.

Also, on their trip to face Azula, the only thing they talk about within their three lines of canon conversation are Azula and Aang. Not exactly a romantic flight, lmao.

*Zuko never saw Aang fight Azula on the drill.

3. “[Katara] was healing [Zuko] and saying he saved her not the other way around”

Actually, this is what the transcript says:

Zuko: Thank you, Katara.

Katara: I think I’m the one who should be thanking you.

You’re right about how their lines refer to them saving each other, but you posit it as a romantic moment, when the lines are actually pretty straightforward. Zuko thanks Katara as she heals him from the partially-redirected lightning strike, and Katara thanks him for trying to redirect the lightning away from her and in doing so saving her life. In terms of canon, there’s nothing romantic about this, lol! (Which I talked about extensively in the E-L post, if you need to reference it again.) The reason being is that you have to take the show itself into context when you do analysis. If there was no canon romantic buildup between Zuko and Katara, why would these lines in canon (not fanon! fanon is free rein, lmao) be interpreted through a romantic lens?

Well, they wouldn’t be interpreted as such. Plain and simple.

“I genuinely don’t get why this isn’t seen as romantic.”

Because looking through a canon lens, they aren’t romantic. That’s all. You are of course welcome to view them as such through a fanon lens!! It’s just about recognizing the line between canon and fanon.

“I will grant you that Zuko would not have allowed Azula to kill anyone but I feel the point here was Zuko realizing his life was pointless if Katara was killed.”

I asked earlier what content in the show itself led you to believe. I have wracked my own mind, and I cannot think of anything that would point to this conclusion. Zuko was in Katara’s good graces for 5 episodes. That’s 8% of the show. Not exactly a lot of time for Zuko to start believing his life would be pointless if Katara was killed, is it?

This post explains the improbability of Zuko having a crush on Katara within canon.

This post explains how Zuko’s racism towards the Air Nomads in TSR and the finale is, well, exactly that - racism (and not a sign of a crush on Katara).

And, of course, as has been said a million times, Zuko taking the lightning for Katara out of romantic interest would completely undermine his redemption arc. Since it has been said over and over and over, I will be brief: Zuko taking the lightning is significant because it is a selfless act (one of his only in the series), and it directly parallels his selfish act of choosing not to intervene when Azula killed Aang with lightning beneath Ba Sing Se. This moment demonstrates Zuko’s growth, how he has learned to accept unconditional love from Iroh and the Gaang and Mai and even Ty Lee and sure, even from Appa and Momo, too. To make this moment of pure selflessness about a nonexistent romance? To force a fanon romance in replacement of canon redemption and canon platonic significance?

Such a decision speaks wonders about a person’s priorities, in my opinion, as well as how amatonormativity impacts them.

Furthermore, Zuko’s choice cements Katara’s position as his surrogate sibling, as she is Azula’s primary foil. Zuko chooses the sister who heals over the sister who harms. I won’t go too much into it here, because it has already been talked about extensively before! Thus, I offer you this post that explains how Zuko and Katara - in canon - are positioned as surrogate siblings as well as Azula’s role in this matter. I also offer this post that lays out through screencaps how Zuko and Katara - in canon - treat each other like family.

Additional sources about the final Agni Kai:

This post in part discusses fanon misinterpretation of the final Agni Kai and why such a lens is not true to canon relationships.

This post explains why the final Agni Kai is not intended to be romantic.

This post explains how the final Agni Kai is primarily about Azula and how reducing it to be a big Zvtara moment is detrimental to both her and to Zuko and Katara themselves.

“And then literally at the end, Mai shows up after Zuko not talking about her at all for six episodes and declares herself Zuko’s girlfriend.”

This point could probably get a post of its own, lol, but fortunately I and others have already written a few! I will link them below - first, however, I question your choice of “declares.” Technically, yes, Mai does say outright that it doesn’t hurt how the new Fire Lord is her boyfriend, but your phrasing implies Zuko resisted her proclamation. When… he doesn’t. In fact, he embraces it, asking if that means she doesn’t hate him anymore (read: he asks if they’re back on good terms again). Zuko clearly doesn’t have a problem with the girl he loves wanting to be with him again - so why do some parts of fandom so adamantly insist he does? (Not you, anon - I am referring to the rabid fanoners, lol.)

Also, regarding how Zuko hasn’t talked about Mai for six episodes, we’ve gotta be realistic with this assessment in terms of canon:

1. It was the crux of the war. They were either going to live or die. There was no time for romance at this point! Sokka and Suki weren’t professing their love on the battlefield, lmao, so it’s not exactly strange that Zuko didn’t bust into a monologue about how he missed Mai. I think they were just a little bit distracted by the possible end of the world, lol, and all that jazz.

2. Zuko probably thought Mai was dead. He knows what Azula is like. He knows his sister doesn’t have time for people who get in her way (Aang can testify to this, lmao). So can you blame him for not wanting to think about how the girl he loved had died (to his knowledge) to save him?

You gotta cut the kid some slack, lol. Anyways! Additional sources about Maiko:

This post breaks down the notion of Maiko and “deserve.”

This post rationalizes through a canon lens why Mai’s arrival at the palace surprised Zuko.

This post is the mother of Maiko metas, explaining in tremendous detail why their relationships works, is relevant to canon, and was well-implemented for what its role was.

“And Katara kisses Aang after being annoyed with and by him arguably since The Southern Raiders.”

What in canon has led you to the conclusion that Katara was annoyed with Aang? What specific moments from TSR to the finale made you think Katara was annoyed with Aang and remained annoyed with Aang? Are there any, or are you thinking about fanon interpretation? (Canon vs fanon strikes again!)

In TSR, Katara explicitly thanks Aang for understanding her perspective. Nothing there is indicative of annoyance (and as in the links provided earlier, she was not angry at Aang/Zuko/etc. so much as she was at herself. well, she was a little bit angry with Zuko, lmao). In EIP, Katara is understandably angry at Aang’s decision to kiss her, but Aang completely backs off, and we see in the part 1 of the finale that there are no hard feelings or weird tension between them. Katara in fact actively expresses concern for Aang after Zuko sporadically attacked him when she demands of the firebender, “What’s wrong with you? You could have hurt Aang!” Even when Aang and Katara do butt heads later in the episode as Aang tries to think of a way to defeat Ozai without killing him, Katara doesn’t stay frustrated. Like I said - when she and Zuko are flying to Azula, she demonstrates her unwavering faith in Aang through her belief that he will return. So… where is the annoyance that you feel was present?

With all this mind, i.e. looking strictly at canon, Katara wasn’t annoyed with Aang during this time. Thus, Katara kisses Aang because she loved him. Because he backed off and gave her the space she needed to make a decision about if she wanted to be with him (hence Katara being the one to initiate the kiss). Because the issue was never about if she reciprocated his feelings (they both knew they loved each other) but rather it had to do with the war. At the end of the finale, the war is over, and there is nothing that prevents them from being together. Simple.

This post explains how Katara’s feelings for Aang develop throughout the series (and were not neglected, as rabid zkers like to claim, for some reason? again - you are not one of them, anon).

This post also covers Katara’s interest in Aang throughout the series.

“I can’t understand why Kataang shippers are okay with such a crap story.”

I mean, you definitely don’t have to ship Kataang. It may not be your cup of tea, and that’s totally okay! But as the above links demonstrate, Kataang was a fantastic story. It was well-implemented into the narrative from Day 1. The soulmateism is unparalleled!

Also, it’s worth noting that A:TLA itself was essentially pre-written. The writers knew how the story would end from the get-go, including that the show would end with Kataang. A few Zvtara gags were thrown in to add a sense of “who will Katara choose?” drama as the show aired, but Zuko and Katara were never planned to end up together. One reason so many newer fans are fine with Kataang from the start is that there’s no tension of waiting a week for a new episode when you can watch all 61 episodes straight through on Netflix, lmao. It’s even more obvious now than when A:TLA was airing that Aang and Katara will end up together, if that makes sense. (Although I talked about this in the E-L post linked earlier, so you probably understand this point already, as it was explained in detail there!)

All of this is to say that Kataang is not a “crap story” in terms of writing (again, personal taste is a different matter) because it was woven in from the beginning and had powerful narrative significance! (Kataang represented numerous complementary components of the series, such as yin and yang, push and pull, air and water, Oma and Shu, etc.)

Now. If you really and truly want to understand why Kataang shippers like Kataang, anon, consider reading some Kataang fanfics or exploring some Kataang headcanons. I read fics involving Zvtara more regularly than you might think, lol, because… well, it’s just a ship. I understand the appeal of romantic Zvtara and I can actually appreciate it when it’s well-written! I’m sure if you’re willing to put in just a little legwork (you don’t need to go the whole mile, lmao - ‘tis just fandom), you’ll realize why people like Kataang, even if it isn’t exactly your thing. You have the range, anon!! You got this!

I hope I managed to answer your questions, my friend! As always, you do not have to agree with anything I have said here. It is totally fine if you and anyone else disagrees! Everything above is simply my own perspective on the matter. Thank you for taking the time to read my response and all the different links I provided! I hope it has expanded your understanding of the subject at hand!

[leossmoonn]

Unexpected Love [Kai Parker] || Part One

masterlist 

pairing - kai parker x fem, human!reader

type - fluff, angst

note / request  - this request is by @mrs-parker-1972​ “The reader is on the other side with the others, and gets trapped there with bonnie and damon, or you can just skip to part when all three of them are in the prison world. So i am not really sure on how the reader meets kai, but you can improvise that part, I trust you. And then well, um, the reader and kai will hate each other and despise each other (damon and bonnie are in the real time world I guess?) And then kai does something human for the reader (you know, coz he doesn't have feelings) and it wakes something in him and the reader and kai grow close to each other, and I really don't know what else, but like can you, make their time in the prison world longer?? (Kai and the reader's) . And please it would be hilarious if you could add some comedic lines if damon, coz you know, damon is damon. And it would be AWESOME if you added the deleted scene of kai Parker where he is really emotional, and he says that after the reader touches a really soft spot about his child hood. And please make the reader human.” 

note - so i was planning on just rewatching the 6th season and copying scenes but i discovered it would take so long lol, so i split this into a 4 parts. i also didn’t really copy anything from the show, just the scene at the end. so most of this is just my writing. part two is at the end and word count is 7k+

summary - you and kai fall in love over a period of time after spending time with each other in the prison world

warnings / includes - language, alcohol, crying, fighting, 

————

*gif isn't mine*

“Maybe if you didn’t take so long to look for Alaric, we would still be alive!” I exclaimed. 

“Hey, you’re the one who insisted that you have a whole conversation with Lexi about the last few years,” Damon spat. 

“Yeah, but we were both already with Bonnie. You were miles away!” 

“You two stop it!” Bonnie shouted, putting her hands up in-between Damon and I. 

“No, Damon needs to know that this is his fault,” I glared.

“Oh, hardly. Why were you even there, again?” Damon asked. 

“Because you twisted my neck, jackass. Which thank you, by the way,” you smiled sourly. 

“Man, I wish you weren’t wearing that ring. You being dead right now would really-”

“Damon!” Bonnie yelled again. “I’m serious. You two need to stop. You’re giving me a headache.”

“Not my fault,” I mumbled, looking down at the road. 

“Liar,” Damon said not-so-quietly. 

“Before you two start again, let me remind you that I’m scared and mad, too. We can’t just fight the whole time, though. We need to see if we can get out. You two have been fighting about this for months, so stop,” Bonnie said. 

“We’re dead, Bon-Bon. We can’t get out,” Damon said. 

I rolled my eyes and started to walk away from them. I couldn’t stand Damon. 

“Where are you going?” Damon exclaimed. 

“To look for a way out, and to get away from you!” I yelled without looking back. 

“See? She’s useless,” Damon muttered behind my back. 

I let out a long, distressed sigh. “I’m going back home.”

“Same. I need some food,” Bonnie said, catching up with me. 

We walked for miles until we got to Damon’s house. I was sweating and panting by the time we got there. We had no cars so it was a good 5 mile walk.

“Need any water?” Damon asked as we walked inside his house. 

“Yes, please,” I breathed out. 

I trudged over to the couch, flopping down and taking my sneakers off. Damon came back over with a big class of cold water. I smiled at him gratefully, standing up to take it. Damon had other ideas, though. He lifted the glass up to the top of his head, making it hard for me to grab it. 

“Oh, c’mon. You’re such a dick!” I whined, jumping up. My fingertips skimmed the bottom the glass, but I still was just a little too short to grab it. 

“Say that magic words,” Damon smirked.

I rolled my eyes. “Thank you, oh great wise one.”

Damon smiled happily, setting the glass down on the table. 

“Jerk,” I muttered, taking a long sip of the water. 

“You love me!” Damon sang. “Nope,” I shook my head. 

“Hey, we need to get more food,” Bonnie stated from the kitchen.

“Then go and get it, Bon-Bon,” Damon muttered. 

“I was just about to, Damon,” Bonnie spat.

“Maybe you can go and learn magic again, too,” Damon snickered. 

I turned my head to him. glaring. “Wow, you are just full of shit today. Huh, Damon?”

Damon rolled his eyes at my insult. “Yeah, well, I don’t want to be stuck here. I want to see Elena.”

“And you will! Who knows, maybe I’ll get my magic back. While I’m out I’ll go and practice magic,” Bonnie shrugged off Damon’s insult. 

“Good idea. I’ll go with you,” I smiled, standing up and slipping back on my shoes. 

“With all do respect Bonnie, you haven’t been able to do magic ever since you became the anchor. What makes you think you can do it now?” Damon asked.

“Just have faith, Damon. She can do it. I know it,” I smiled at Bonnie, who smiled gratefully back at me.

“Fine. But are you guys gonna leave me all alone?” Damon whined. 

“Yep,” I nodded, walking over to the door. 

“Who’s the rude one now?” Damon challenged. I put a finger up to my chin and hummed, pretending that I was thinking hard. I then put on a charming smile. 

“Still you. Ready Bonnie?” I turned to the girl next to me who was putting on a jacket. 

“Yep. See you later, Damon,” Bonnie smiled and waved. 

“See you,” I nodded. 

Damon waved goodbye as we shut the door behind us. I walked with Bonnie until we split off. She went to her grandmother’s house, while I went to the little supermarket a few miles out. 

Walking there was a pain in the ass. I had my car keys with me, but I couldn’t seem to find my car. Even though this place had everything else; Damon’s house, my house, Bonnie’s grandmother’s house. Even Elena’s house. Just not my car, which pissed me off, but I knew I couldn’t start to get mad again. Getting angry and upset wouldn’t help us get out of here. 

I walked up to the supermarket and entered the market, expecting someone to be at the register, but no one was there. I laughed at myself for expecting someone. Every time I’ve gone out, I’ve always expected to see people. But I remind myself that I’m dead. Of course no one would be here. We were all alone. Those cars outside were just there because this was just a very real, very confusing after-life. 

I grabbed a shopping cart and started getting the stuff we needed. Eggs, milk, fruit, vegetables, bread. I then got some soda and water bottle cases, some bags of chips and sweets. I went over to the frozen food section and got a few microwavable dinners and some ingredients to make food like chilli and tacos. I went around the store once more, making sure I got everything we needed. I passed one shelf, stopping once I realised that something was missing. 

“I thought there were pork rinds here,” I muttered. 

Merry-go-round music then started to play. I turned a full 360, trying to see if there was anybody in the store with me. No one was here. I went outside of the store, seeing the little merry-go-round spinning. 

“That’s weird,” I mumbled. 

I heard the sound of flapping and my head snapped to the sound. I saw someone pass by in a flash. Goosebumps sprung up on my arms and the hairs on the back of my neck raised. I got this uneasy feeling in my stomach as my mind went to disturbing thoughts.

“Hello?” I called out. 

I walked further into the parking lot, hearing the noise again. I sighed as I realised it was probably just Damon pulling a prank on me. 

“Very funny, Damon! You’ve freaked me out, good job. You can come out now!” I exclaimed, my eyes searching the open area. 

The merry-go-round came to a stop and I let out a deep breath to try and calm myself down. Bonnie, Damon, and I were the only ones here. No one was going to hurt me… Right?

The merry-go-round music started up again suddenly. I jumped in surprise and fear, doing another 360.

“Must be on a timer,” I muttered. 

“False,” an unfamiliar, matter-of-fact voice spoke behind me. 

I froze in my spot, afraid to turn around as I knew that definitely wasn’t Damon. 

“Don’t be scared. I won’t hurt you,” the voice said, getting closer to me. 

The person appeared in front of me. I stiffened up more as the voice belonged to a man. A very attractive man, might I add. He had a big, teasing smile on his face. His blue eyes danced around my face, studying me as I studied him. He had brown hair that was combed up, wearing jeans, a black t-shirt, a green jacket and carrying a bag of pork rinds.

“Oh, you’re the one who stole the pork rinds. Who are you?” I asked. “I’m Kai,” the man held his free hand out.

My eyes flickered down to his arm and back up to his eyes. I put my hand out gingerly, slipping my hand into his slowly. I kept eye contact as we shook hands. My stomach did flips as we touched. 

“Nice to meet you, Kai. I’m Y/n,” I offered him a friendly smile. 

“Oh, I know,” Kai shrugged. I furrowed my brows, instinctively pulling my hand away from his. 

“How?” I asked. 

“I’ve been watching you and your friends for a while,” he admitted. 

“Oh,” I said, my eyes wide in shock. 

“Yep! It’s so nice to have friends now. Man, I have been really lonely,” he chuckled. 

“We aren’t friends. And what do you mean you’ve been lonely. Are you dead, too? Have you been stuck here as long as us, too?” I asked. 

Kai frowned, stepping closer to me. “Why all the questions? Don’t you want to get to know me?”

“Um,” I shifted uncomfortably on my feet, stepping back so there was distance between us. 

“Am I making you uncomfortable? Sorry about that. It’s been a while since I’ve had face-to-face type human interaction,” he chuckled, looking down to the ground. 

“No, it’s fine. Anyways, are you dead, too?” I repeated one of my burning questions. 

“No! I am very much alive. Well, I think so. You can kiss me to find out, though,” he flirted. 

I felt the tip of my ears grow warm as his suggestion. “No, thanks.” 

“Oh! I’m doing it again. God, sorry. You are just so pretty and i get nervous when I’m around girls. Especially ones like you.”

I chuckled, my grip on the shopping cart tightening. “So, you said you have been lonely. For how long, exact?”

“Long time. I’m not sure. It’s 1994, though,” he explained. 

My eyes bulged out of my head. “What?! It’s 1994?”

“Yep. There’s literally newspapers everywhere,” he snorted. 

“Well, I haven’t really been observant, I guess. What are we doing in 1994?”

“We’re stuck!” He explained. “Oh, damn,” I muttered. 

“Yeah, it sucks, but now you guys are here to keep me company!” He grinned. 

I smiled politely at him, getting ready to turn around and go back home. “Right. Well, I gotta go. My friends are expecting me for dinner. Maybe you could uh… You could um, come to dinner?”

His eyes widened in surprise. I kept on my smile, shifting the weight in my feet. 

“Really?” He asked. 

“Yeah, why not! Um, chilli sound good?” I asked. “Perfect. I’ll bring drinks,” he suggested. 

“Sounds great. Well, um, see you later?” I proposed, getting ready to turn around. 

“Yep,” he smiled. “Great,” I chuckled, looking down shyly. I began to turn around, but Kai stopped me. 

“Why don’t I drive you there? It’d be tedious of you to carry the cart all the way home, right?” Kai asked. 

I turned back around, “Um… Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Are you sure, though?” 

“Positive.”

My smiled widely, giggling a little. “Well, yeah, I’d really appreciate it.”

“Great. My car’s over here,” He said and pointed to a dark blue Chevy. 

“Wow, this is a really cool car,” I said, wheeling the car to it. “Yeah, I know,” he smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

I opened up the trunk and loaded the groceries in the car. I then walked over to the passenger seat and got in, buckling and waiting for Kai to get in the driver’s seat. We got to Damon’s place in 10 minutes. I was very thankful I had met him, even though he was a little bit of a weirdo. Kai parked in the entry way and he helped me take in the groceries. 

“Hey, Damon! Is Bonnie home yet?” I called out. 

“Yeah! I am,” Bonnie came out from the kitchen. Her smile faltered as he saw Kai standing next to me. “Who, uh, who is this?” “Oh!” I giggled. “This is Kai. We met at the supermarket.”

“Oh, really? Hi, Kai,” Damon narrowed his eyes at him. 

“Hi, Damon!” Kai said cheerfully. “How the hell do you know my name?” Damon asked. 

“Oh, he’s just uh… He’s just been observing us and stuff,” I explained. 

“Hm, not creepy at all,” Damon muttered. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Kai. Are you joining us for dinner?” Bonnie asked. 

“Yeah, I hope that’s okay,” Kai said. “Yeah! It’s fine, guys, right?” I asked. 

“Sure,” Bonnie nodded. 

“Great! I brought drinks, too,” he said, holding a bag filled with bourbon and whiskey. 

“Great, but we already have some,” Damon said, gesturing to the liquor cabinets. 

“Oh,” Kai frowned. “But it’s fine! We’ll drink your’s,” I said. 

“Great,” Kai perked up again. “Let’s get dinner started, yeah?” I suggested, walking over to the kitchen. 

Everyone nodded in agreement and helped with dinner. Kai mostly helped. Damon got bored in the middle and went to his room to do God know’s what, while Bonnie went to sit on the couch and watch 90′s classics. 

“Thanks for helping with dinner,” I said. “No problem. You are an amazing cook,” Kai complimented. 

“You haven’t even tasted the food,” I chuckled. 

“Well, you seem to know the recipe and whatnot. And it smells amazing.”

“Well, thank you,” I smiled, turning and looked at him. 

My eyes met his and a wave of butterflies washed over me. I looked into his mysterious blue eyes, getting lost in them quickly. 

“Is dinner done yet?” Damon asked, interrupting the moment. 

I jumped away from Kai in an instant, hanging my head low in embarrassment.

“Yeah,” I muttered, walking away and getting bowls out. I poured the chilli in each bowl, bringing them to the table with a glasses of Kai’s alcohol. 

“Dig in.” I sprinkled cheese over my chilli. 

“Let me take a sip of this bourbon first,” Damon said, holding the glass up skeptically. He brought the glass up to his lips, taking a slow and small sip. As soon as the bourbon touched his lips, he dropped the glass on the floor and his hand flew to his throat. 

“Oh, my God. Damon, are you okay?” I jumped up from my seat, running over to him. 

“V-Vervain,” Damon gasped. “Vervain… What?” I gulped, my eyes immediately meeting with Kai’s. 

“You!” I pointed. “Oops,” Kai chuckled, getting out of his seat. 

“Not so fast,” Bonnie said, grabbing his arm to sit him back down. Kai grabbed her arm, too. Bonnie started screaming and holding his hand in pain. 

“What? What are you doing to her!” I exclaimed, going over to them. 

“Taking her magic,” Kai shrugged. “What! B-But… How?” I asked. 

“She’s a witch, so am I. Well, not exactly. I’m more of what you say… a siphon,” he explained as if I was supposed to know. 

“Well, whatever are you, get off of her!” I yelled, taking ahold of his jacket and pulling him away. I stumbled back, still holding onto him. 

“I wasn’t done yet!” Kai whined. 

“I don’t care! You were hurting her,” I glared at him, shoving him out of the way and going to Bonnie. 

“Hey, did he burn you? Let’s get your arm under some water,” I said, grabbing her shoulder gently. 

“No, I’m not burned. It just hurt like hell. Ugh! Why did you do that?!” Bonnie exclaimed angrily at Kai. 

“Because I needed the power to do this,” Kai said, holding up his hand. He made the bottle of bourbon float up and poured it all over Damon. 

“Stop!” I shrieked, running over to shove his arm down, but he sent me flying across the room with his other hand. 

“Sorry, princess, but I can’t let you ruin this,” Kai said. 

I groaned, holding the back of my head. “Screw you.”

“Oh, I wish you could,” Kai winked at you. 

I gagged in disgust and got up slowly, groaning at the paining my back. “Not anymore.” Kai chuckled will finishing pouring the bottle of bourbon on Damon, then lifting him up and throwing him against the wall.

“B-Bonnie. D-Do mag-gic,” Damon whimpered.  “Yeah, please do,” I nodded, balancing myself on the island counter. 

“Yeah, please do, Bonnie. Please humiliate yourself in front of your friends. It’s so sad that you can’t do magic. I’ve been watching you for weeks now. What’s even the point of you trying? What’re you gonna do, fail at me? It’s embarrassing. I’m embarrassed for you,” Kai taunted her. 

Bonnie gave him a death glare and looked around the room, spotting a few candles. She closed her eyes and held up her hand. “Phasmatos Incendia.”

I watched in amazement as the candles lit. Bonnie then turned to Kai, who had a shocked look on his face. She grinned at him, cocking her head to the side. 

“I’m embarrassed for you,” she mocked him. 

“Dammit,” Kai muttered. “Looks like I have to kill you now. I was planning on for that to be later.” “Oh, no you don’t,” Damon remarked, getting up slowly. He then sped over to Kai and before Kai could react, Bonnie held Kai’s arms back while Damon punched Kai. 

“You’re going down, wacko,” Damon muttered, taking Kai’s head in his hands and slamming him down on the floor, knocking Kai out. 

“Are you okay, Damon?” I asked immediately. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get him chained up,” Damon said. 

“Yeah, okay,” I nodded, going over and lifting Kai up form under his arms. 

“Good job, Bon-Bon. About time,” Damon patted Bonnie on the back. 

“Thanks,” Bonnie gave him a small smile. 

Bonnie helped me chain up Kai to a chair, Damon going on the couch to heal and rest. 

“I can’t believe you liked him,” Damon spoke up after a while. 

“I didn’t,” I protested. “You sure? You were drooling all over him when he first came into the house. You're type is crazy,” Damon smirked. 

I rolled my eyes, wanting to change the subject. “I think the whiskey he brought also has vervain in it.”

“He’s right, Y/n. You have horrible taste in guys,” Bonnie teased. 

I scoffed. “Un-called for! Damon’s supposed to be the rude one.”

“It’s not being rude if I’m telling the truth,” Bonnie smirked. “Yeah, well, I guess I liked him. Not anymore, though,” I sighed, sitting down on the couch next to Damon. 

“Good. We would definitely have had to take you to therapy,” Damon smirked. 

I laughed with him, letting out a long sigh. “I just still can’t believe there is someone here with us.” “Yeah, and he’s a psycho,” Damon spat. 

“What're we gonna do with him when he wakes up?” I asked. 

“Interrogate him. See what he knows, what he wants, how to get out of here,” Damon answered. 

“Well, I know a little bit about what he knows,” I said. “We’re in 1994.”

“Yeah, I know,” Damon muttered. “What, how?” I asked. 

“While you were gone we found a newspaper. Apparently, we have been re-living May 10th since we got here,” Bonnie said sourly. 

“Oh. Great,” I shook my head. “Anything else you guys found out?”

“Yes, actually. Kai is a murderer,” Bonnie said. She grabbed a newspaper from the coffee table and held it up to my face. She pointed to the left side where there were four headshots of teenagers. 

“Family Massacred in Portland. The only one missing was the oldest boy. A 22 year-old named Malachai,” I read aloud. I then looked up to Kai who was still knocked out. “I-Is he Malachai?”

“All signs point to yes,” Damon said. “My God. I liked a murderer? Jesus, what is wrong with me?” I muttered, setting the newspaper down. 

“Really? Your type in men is what you’re worried about?” Damon scoffed. 

I smiled a little. “No, no! It’s just… Weird to me. Anyways, if he knows the way out, we have to get out without him, okay?”

“Deal,” Bonnie nodded. 

“Do you guys want to go to bed?” I asked. “Well, someone has to stay and watch,” Damon gestured to Kai. 

“Why don’t you. You’re the immortal,” I nudged his shoulder. 

“Fine. I’ll alert you guys when he wakes up,” Damon said. 

“Great. Thanks, Damon,” Bonnie smiled. “Mhm. No prob!” Damon exclaimed as Bonnie and I climbed up the stairs. 

“He is kinda cute,” Bonnie said once we reached one the guest bedroom.

“Who? Damon?” I asked. “No, Kai,” Bonnie explained. 

I raised my brows, my mouth formed in the shape of an ‘O’. 

“What?” Bonnie asked. “I cannot believe you just said that about our enemy. You’re never this two-faced,” I smirked. 

Bonnie rolled her eyes, “Yeah, well, he’s still a sociopath.”

“True that. Hey, wanna have a sleepover? Maybe have some fun,” I suggested. 

“Yes! Oh, I wish that Care and Elena were here,” Bonnie sighed. 

“Me, too, Bon. We’ll get to see them soon, though.” I put a hand on her shoulder. 

“I hope,” Bonnie smiled.  I smiled back and went to the closet, finding a pair of sweats and a tank top. Bonnie and I got ready for bed, staying up for a good hour talking, finally passing out across the bed. 

I was the first one to wake up. I rose up slowly and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Once I opened them fully, I looked around the room with complete confusion. Once I looked at the clock, though, I finally realised that I was in a repeating loop of May 10th, 1994. You’d think waking up for months in this place, I would get used to it, but I really never have. Not yet, at least. 

“Disappointing, right?” Bonnie spoke next to me. I turned, chuckling in agreement. “Most definitely.”

“At least we got a full night’s sleep. It’s 10 AM,” Bonnie said. “True,” I nodded, getting up and stretching. 

“Let’s go and see the sociopath living downstairs,” I groaned. 

“I’ll need coffee before I see him,” Bonnie said, getting up and putting on a robe.

“Oh, me, too,” I chuckled. 

We both went downstairs after freshening up, going to the kitchen immediately.

“Um, hello? Did you forget about us?” Damon asked form the living room. 

“Yep,” Bonnie smiled at him. Damon rolled his eyes, going over to us. 

“Hurry up, sleeping beauties. Malachai is awake,” Damon said, his eyes going wide as he said Kai’s full name. 

“Please, it’s Kai,” Kai said. “Hm, nope. I read Malachai in the newspaper,” Damon gave Kai his signature sarcastic smile. 

Bonnie and I laughed at Damon defying Kai. I poured myself some coffee and made myself some eggs and toast before going over to Damon. 

“Alright, I am ready to get this interrogation on,” I smiled, sitting down on the couch. 

“Me, too,” Bonnie said, sitting next to me. 

“Wow, you look beautiful when just waking up,” Kai complimented. 

“Drop the act, weirdo,” I rolled my eyes. 

“I was actually talking to the green-eyed beauty next to you,” Kai grinned. 

I couldn’t help but frown. My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach and I looked down at my food, picking up the toast and nibbling on the crust. 

“You can still drop the act. We want answers,” Bonnie demanded. 

“Ooh, you are so sexy while dominant,” Kai winked. “And you are so gross and desperate,” Bonnie stated. 

“If you don’t give us answers, I’ll snap your neck,” Damon threatened. 

I looked up and saw Kai pursing his lips. 

“It’s so funny,” Kai stated. “What is?” Damon asked. 

“Well, you three seem to hate me, yet you haven’t killed me yet,” Kai explained. 

“Because we need information from you, and you are withholding for no reason,” Bonnie explained further. 

“Fine. But I want Y/n to ask the questions,” Kai said, his blue eyes landing on me. 

I glared at him right away. “Why me? You seem pretty infatuated with Bonnie.”

“Jealousy is not a good look on you, princess,” he spoke playfully.

I had to fight the butterflies that were swarming in my stomach. “And being annoying is not a good way for us to not kill you.”

Kai laughed, “Fair. So, what do you guys want to know?”

“Why are we here? Is this my personal hell?” Damon asked quickly. 

I furrowed my brows and looked up at  him. “Why do you think this is your personal hell?”

“Well, first of all my car is parked in the entry way. Yeah, I noticed that. And second… There was something bad I did during May 10th, 1994,” Damon sighed. 

“Damon… What did you do?” Bonnie’s voice wavered. “Yeah, Damon, what did you do?” Kai pressed on. 

“You,” Damon pointed to Kai. “Shut it. And… You guys would hate me if I told you. Like, hate me for real.”

“Oh, I bet it’s not too bad,” I smiled comfortingly. 

“Nope, it’s bad,” Damon sighed. “Well, then tell us,” Bonnie pushed. 

Damon sighed, walking from the back of the couch to the armchair. He slumped down. “I… I killed a pregnant woman.”

The plate that was once in my hand clattered to the ground. 

“You what!?” Bonnie exclaimed. 

“Not one of my best moments,” Damon sighed. 

“W-Why?” I stuttered, racking my brain for any type of logical explanation. 

“Cause I was mad at Stefan,” Damon shrugged. “And that justifies the fact that you killed a pregnant woman?” Bonnie shouted. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know! I’m a horrible person, okay?” Damon exclaimed, shooting up from his seat. 

“You’re worse than I thought. How can Elena love you!” Bonnie scoffed. 

I stood up in-between them. “Okay, not the time, guys. We need to ask Kai questions.”

“And before you do that, I need you guys to get a few things for me,” Kai said. 

I groaned, “What now?”

“Well, I need to make a list, and I can’t if I’m all tied up.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine.” I went over to him, untying the rope. I then got a paper and pencil and handed them to him. 

“Thank you, honey,” Kai gave me an eye-blinding grin. 

“Yeah, whatever,” I muttered, going to the kitchen to get a dustpan to sweep up the broken pieces of the plate. 

“Alright!” Kai announced after a few moments. “All done.” “Great. I’ll go out,” I said, going over and taking the paper out of his hand. Kai reached out to stop me, though. 

“Nope. I want you to stay,” Kai said. “Why?” I asked. 

“Because you’re so cute,” he complimented. “Shut up. I will kill you,” I sneered, jerking my arm out of his grasp. 

“I’ll go. I don’t want to be around Damon,” Bonnie snarled, snatching the piece of paper. 

“Bon, c’mon,” Damon said helplessly, following her to the door. 

They both went out of the house. I could hear Bonnie shouting from the outside. 

“Finally alone together,” Kai said. 

“Yeah, no. I’m going upstairs,” I said, turning on my heels. 

“If you stay I'll tell you everything,” Kai said. 

I stopped in my track, turning back to him slowly. “Really?” 

He nodded. “I promise.”

“Fine,” I sighed, sitting back down on the couch. Kai got up and walked over. He sat down right next to me. 

I huffed and got up, sitting in the armchair. 

“Fine, I’ll talk to you this way, I guess. So, what do you want to know?” Kai asked. 

“Why did you kill your family?” I asked.  “Well, I was born into a coven of witches. The Gemini coven, to be exact. I was the black sheep of my family. The one whose magical ability was sucking the power out of people. My family hated me. My father hated me. He never showed me love or tried to understand me,” he explained. 

“And that’s why you killed your whole family? Because you never got love?” I asked. 

“Yep. Basically,” he shrugged. “Not a good enough reason,” I shook my head. 

“Well, what were you expecting?”  

I sighed, “I don’t know.”

“Precisely. Anyways, that’s why this is my personal hell. Not Damon’s.”

“How do we get out of here?” I asked. 

“Well, there’s this thing called an ascendent. That will take us home,” he explained. 

“Okay, what is it?” I asked. 

“A mystical relic that was created by my family. It can harnesses the power of a celestial event and creates a portal, to which we can all then go home.”

“And where is the ascendent?” I asked. “I have no idea,” Kai smiled. 

“Ugh! Seriously? How are we going to get out of here now?” “Well, the stuff I asked Bonnie to get will help us. Don’t worry,” he shrugged. 

“Okay, well, I’m going to go and get ready for the day,” I said, standing up. 

“And you’re going to leave me here alone? What if I kill you in the shower?” Kai asked. 

“Well, I need a shower. So, if you do, at least I’ll be released from this world,” I smiled sweetly, walking off. 

I heard him chuckle behind me. I sighed quietly and climbed up the stairs. I could not wait to get out of there. 

I came back downstairs after 30 minutes. I first looked in the living room, seeing Bonnie and Damon with Kai. 

“Took you long enough,” Damon said.

I rolled my eyes, “I assume Kai filled you in?” “Yep. I have to do a spell now to find the ascendent,” Bonnie nodded. 

“And we’re gonna do that with Kai having jam on his fingers?” I asked, pointing to Kai was scooping out jam with his hands. 

“Well, I’m not gonna do the spell. Bonnie will. I’ll just guide her,” Kai explained. 

I hummed in reply and nodded. “Alright, well, let’s get started then.”

Bonnie and Kai went to the dining room table to work. Spreading out a big map and putting some of Kai’s blood on the paper to do a locator spell. 

We watched as she tried a few times before she realised the blood wasn’t moving. 

“It doesn’t feel right,” she sighed. “Maybe I need bigger map.”

“Maybe you’re just out of practice, and you suck at magic now,” Damon said.

“Ignore him, Bonnie. Pretend he’s a white noise machine,” Kai said. “That’s how I used to tune out my siblings.”

“How many siblings?” I asked casually. 

“Seven,” Kai answered. “You know, all of them constantly yammering. But it, uh, taught me how to focus.” He went by Bonnie, looking her in the eye, his gaze traveling down to her lips. 

A pang of jealously hit my heart. I looked down at the ground, not wanting to see them kiss, if they did. 

“Easy there, big brother,” Damon remarked. “She doesn’t know you. At least buy her a drink.”

Bonnie and Kai chuckled, looking at each other. I groaned quietly, going to the kitchen to get myself a drink.

“Hey! Where are you going, princess?” Kai called. 

“Somewhere where you’re not,” I grumbled. 

I got out a bottle of scotch, taking a swig from the bottle. 

“Woah, easy there, princess,” Damon mocked the nickname Kai had given me. 

I glared at him. “Do not call me that.”

“What, I can’t, but Kai can? Sounds like someone still has a crush,” Damon sang. 

“I do not!” 

“You sure you don’t like him? Cause I think you two would make a great fit. He’s crazy and well, you seem to like crazy.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, like you and Elena are a great fit, right? You being the one who keeps breaking up with her and all.”

I then walked past Damon and back into the living room, earning a glare from him. 

“The blood’s moving towards Virginia. Can’t be right,” Kai said. 

“Mm-mm. Spell’s working. It’s showing me Mystic Falls. It feels so… close,” Bonnie said, putting her hand on Kai’s jacket, candles lighting up. 

“It right here,” Bonnie said, pressing her hand into his chest. 

Kai took out the ascendent from his jacket pocket, an expression of shock on his face. “Very good.”

“That’s the ascendent?” I asked. “The one and only,” Kai smiled. 

“Thanks for the mind games, jackass,” Damon said. 

“It was just another little test. To make sure Bonnie’s magic was precise enough for the spell,” Kai explained. “I do believe we’re ready. Pack your bags, we’re going home.”

Kai then walked out of the house and to the front yard, stopping every few moments. 

“You’re wandering around like a crazy man, why?” Damon asked. 

“I’m looking for the exact right spot,” Kai answered, holding the ascendent up to the sky. “We need to find where the power of the eclipse is focused.”

“You know, you could have just showed us the ascendant to begin with,” Bonnie said. 

“Yeah, but I wanted to feel your hand on my chest,” Kai smirked. 

A frown rested upon my lips and I looked down at the ground. 

“He is so annoying,” Bonnie muttered. 

“You’re just not used to guys hitting on you,” Damon said. “You know, I can’t wait to get out of here,” Bonnie glared. 

She then went next to me. I held my head back up, but not looking at her.

“Hey, how you holding up?” She asked. “Oh, fine,” I shrugged. “I’m getting kind of bored, though.”

“Yeah, I feel you… Hey,” Bonnie said, putting her hand on my arm. I turned to her, “Yeah?”

“Kai is a sociopath. He’s just flirting with us to get a rise out of each other. I know you don’t like him anymore, but that attraction you felt to him is probably still there. Let’s not let him tear us apart, okay? We’re stronger than some guy,” she smiled. 

I smiled with her, perking up. “Yeah. You’re right. Sorry, just between him calling me pet names and the fact that Damon is always so pissy, it’s hard to be optimistic.”

“Well, I can do magic again now, so there’s one reason!” “Very true. Good job, by the way,” I complimented. “Why, thank you,” Bonnie chuckled.

We followed Kai and Damon, beginning to talk about our plans for when we got home. I looked down at the ground as she talked about her plans with Jeremy. I kicked around a rock, a pair of shoes appearing in front of me. It was Kai. Before my body could stop, I knocked into him.

His hands supported my waist, holding me up. My eyes met his and for a split second, I could see the human in him. I pushed him away though, scoffing in the process. 

“A little warning next time?” 

Kai just smiled down at me, then looking up to the sky. “The eclipse will happen directly overhead. In perfect alignment with the Gemini constellation. You need to dig under the tunnels below us. We’ll do the spell here,” Kai said 

“Wait, why do we have to dig?” Damon asked.

“Have you never portal-jumped through an eclipse before? Okay, look, the light of the eclipse will shine down and activate the ascendant. You spout a little witchy woo and then, poof! Anyone standing in the circle of light holding the ascendant goes home,” Kai explained. 

“Let me see the spell,” Bonnie said. “When the time comes,” Kai smiled.

He then walked past us three. 

“Where are you going?” I asked. “Into town. I need to gather some important supplies,” Kai explained. 

“Y/n, why don’t you watch over him to make sure he isn’t planning to kill us,” Damon said. 

“What! No!” I protested. “You really want to be stuck with us? Digging a hole?” Bonnie asked. 

“Not really,” I sighed. “Fine, I’ll go. See you guys later.” 

“Have fun,” Bonnie smiled. “Oh, you know I will,” I smiled sourly as I followed Kai’s path. 

I jogged to catch up with him. “Hey, Kai! Wait up.”

Kai stopped in his tracks, turning in surprise. “Stalking me?”

“Nope. More like babysitting.”

“Hm. Well, I’m older than you, so technically I would be doing the babysitting,” Kai said. 

“Yeah, like you have any parental instincts. So, where into town are we going?” 

“I thought you hated talking to me,” Kai said. “Just answer the damn question,” I glared. 

“I’m picking up some personal belongings,” Kai explained. 

“Why?” You asked. “Because 1994 has been my home for most of my life. I don’t want to get homesick when I go into the 21st century,” Kai answered.

“Hm, I see. Well, a lot has changed in the last 18 years,” I said. 

“So I can see. They obviously didn’t make girls as pretty as Bonnie back then,” Kai smirked. 

My lips pulled down into another frown. Him complimenting Bonnie was like a stake to the heart. I didn’t know why, but it bothered me a little too much to hear him talk about other girls. It was even worse considering that the girl he was talking about was my best friend.  

“Hey, don’t be so sad. You’re pretty, too,” Kai nudged my shoulder.

“Wow, thanks,” I rolled your eyes. 

“I’m serious! You’re more pretty than Bonnie!” Kai said. “Just want I wanted. You dragging my friend down so I can be complimented,” I hummed. 

Kai rolled his eyes. “Women are so difficult. Look, I meant that you’re really pretty. Bonnie is, too. Just accept the fact I think you’re pretty!”

My face warmed up quickly and I hung my head low. “T-Thanks.”

“Let me guess, not a lot of guys compliment you?”

“They do, but doesn’t mean I don’t get flustered.”

“You seem pretty outgoing to me,” Kai said. 

“Well, that’s probably because I hate you. I’m shy to guys I like,” I explained, putting my head back up. 

“Hm… Or you just think that. You know, girls can be mean when they like a guy.”

“Yeah, in elementary school. Look, I’m not 8 anymore. I know the difference between love and hate and trust me, my feelings for you stand on the hate side.”

“Keep saying that, princess,” Kai remarked. “And stop calling me princess! God, it’s so annoying,” I groaned. 

“C’mon, I know you like it, princess,” Kai teased, poking at my arm. 

I swatted his hand away. “For someone who is a sociopath, you sure like to flirt a lot.”

“I am not a sociopath,” Kai said. “You sure are,” I chuckled. 

“I’m not. I was just treated like the biggest embarrassment and disappointment of my family, and I’ve been stuck here for 18 years. It’s not fun going through what I did,” Kai argued. 

I softened up a little. “Right, yeah. So, how long do we have to walk for?”

“Not very long,” Kai said. 

We walked in a weirdly comfortable silence for 10 more minutes before arriving at a house. 

“This your place I assume?” I asked. 

“Yep. Not the place I grew up in, though,” he said, walking up. “Because you were born in Oregon?” I guessed. 

“Yep. Wow, you pay attention to what I say. So sweet.” I huffed, “Just hurry up.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” I waited for him outside the house, beginning to play with the locket around my neck. I took it off, opening it and smiling nostalgically.

“I miss you guys. I wish you were here,” I said to the pictures, running my fingertips on them. 

“Are you talking to yourself?” Kai’s voice sounded out of nowhere. 

I jumped, immediately shutting the locket. “No. Are you finished?”

“Yep,” he nodded. 

“Good, let’s hurry back.” 

“Who were you talking to?” He asked as we started our journey back to Bonnie and Damon. 

“Nobody,” I answered. “So you were talking to yourself?” Kai pressed. 

“Yeah,” I admitted. “Why?” He asked. 

“It’s none of your business,” I said quickly. I hoped he got the hint that this was something that I would never share. 

“Oh, please? You know, like, everything about me!”

I groaned, “No, Kai! Stop it.”

His eyebrows raised, his lips curling up into a smile. “Alright, Miss Fussy.”

I went in front of him, walking fast. We finally got back to the big hole that was now in the middle of the forrest. 

“Now will you show us the spell?” Bonnie asked, panting. 

“Not yet,” Kai said. “Why? We’ve done everything you want. Just get us out of here,” Damon said. 

“I just… I can’t. Not yet,” Kai shrugged. 

I scoffed, “Now is not the time to be a dick.”

“Wait,” Bonnie said, staring hard at Kai. “He doesn’t know the spell. Which means we don’t need him. Motus.”

Suddenly the pickaxe that Damon had flew up and plunged Kai in the heart, missing my arm by a centimeter. 

“Bonnie!” I shrieked. 

“What? You never liked him anyways,” Bonnie shrugged. “I have my grimoire right here, I’ll find the spell.” Bonnie pulled out the spell book from her backpack. 

“Yeah, and how long is that gonna take?” Damon asked. “Not long if you two let me concentrate,” Bonnie said. 

Damon groaned and walked over to me. “She seems way too calm.”

“She’s not one to freak out like you or Caroline. I’m a little mad at her, too, but I know she’s got this,” I shrugged, taking a seat on the dirt. 

“Find the spell yet, Bon-Bon?” Damon asked, leaning against a tree. 

“It’s been 2 minutes,” I swatted Damon’s leg. “No, but I think the Gemini coven used a Bennett spell to create this place. That's why my grams sent me here,” Bonnie explained. 

I smiled at her, “Great thinking!”

Bonnie thanked me with a nod, holding the ascendent up in her hands and muttering an incantation. My jaw dropped as I saw the ascendent move outwards. 

“And this is why Kai never killed me. He needed a Bennett,” Bonnie smiled triumphantly. 

“See, I told you she knew what she was doing,” I smiled up at Damon. 

“Yeah, well, I did, too. I was just giving her a hard time,” Damon shrugged. 

Bonnie chuckled. “You guys ready to go home?”

“Hell yeah!” I exclaimed and jumped up. 

We all jumped down the hole that Bonnie and Damon dug up, landing in a cave. Bonnie wasted no time dropping her blood onto the ascendant. She muttered the spell, the ascendent winding out further. 

“Ready, guys?” Bonnie asked. 

I nodded, walking up to her and putting my hand under her’s. Damon put his hand under mine. 

“Let’s go home,” I smiled, tears threatening to fall out of my eyes. 

As Bonnie was about to say the spell, an arrow struck just right under my heart and sent me flying. Another arrow also hit Bonnie. I hit a pile of rocks, my head turning to whoever hit me. It was Kai. 

“Forgetting someone?” He asked. “Did you really think I haven’t tried to kill myself before? Because I have.” He loaded up the crossbow again. 

Damon made a move for the ascendent that was now on the floor. 

“Grab that or the next arrow will be in their hearts. Your choice.” Kai threatened. 

Damon sighed and sped over to Bonnie, pulling the arrow out from her body. She screamed in pain, my eyes widening as I watched Kai take the ascendent. 

“Damon!” I exclaimed as Damon as about to feed us his blood. 

Damon fed Bonnie his blood quickly and ran up to Kai, knocking the ascendent out of his hand. My eyes fell to the ascendent as it was close enough for me to try and grab. I tried to reach, but Bonnie was a few steps ahead of me. She then bent down to me, ripping the arrow out of my side. I screamed in pain, tears streaming down my face. 

“We’re gonna get you out of here, okay? Just put pressure on this,” Bonnie said, grabbing her jacket around my wound. 

I shook my head, smiling sadly. “No, I-I won’t make it. You and Damon go. You guys have too much to live for. Me? I have no family there, and we all know Caroline and Elena miss you more.”

“That is so not true,” Bonnie said. “When you were gone at camp for those 3 summers, all Care and Elena could take about was how much they’ve missed you. And I know for a fact that Tyler, Matt, and especially Stefan miss you, too. We are getting you out of here.”

“We are, Y/n. Otherwise Elena would kill me,” Damon groaned from behind me. “I would rather be killed by my hot, vampire girlfriend instead of this psycho. A little help Bonnie?”

Bonnie nodded, muttering a spell that sent Kai flying back. Damon then came over and lifted me up, carrying me over to Bonnie. We stood under the light and I looked up, smiling happily. 

“I’m getting out of here,” I sighed. 

“Not on my watch!” Kai exclaimed. As soon as we started to float up, Kai ran over to Damon and knocked me out of his arms.

“No!” I screamed. 

“Y/n!” Bonnie exclaimed as she shot up in the portal. 

I watched with hot, burning tears as Bonnie and Damon disappeared. I sobbed in pain and sadness, looking at Kai with a watery gaze. 

“Why?!” I screamed. 

“Because like you said, you don’t have any family there. Me neither, so there’s no reason for you to get back to your home,” Kai explained with a shit-eating grin. 

“Screw you,” I muttered distantly. I felt my eyes begin to droop. My breathing was so shallow, I could barely feel my heartbeat. I looked up to the light that was shining down. Where my friends once were. 

“Sleep well, princess. I’ll see you soon.” Was the last thing I heard before I lost all consciousness. 

————

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Part Two right here!

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[cheoliehae]

121U! - jeon wonwoo // seventeen au

❖ soulmate: you are able to communicate with your soulmate via a special chat room but you are both unaware of who you are due to the username

❖ a/n: hi everyone, so if you been here since the beginning of my blog you know that i used to write bts text au and that I also have skz au writing account. well since im in my 3rd year of uni i started to write to relieve stress and it’s really fun. so enjoy this idea i had that was og for my skz blog. if you haven’t figured it out yet I took inspiration from Day6 song 121U (aka a bop) as well as A Cinderella Story (you know the one with Hillary Duff, a CLASSIC). It is unsure how much i will write on this blog since again i only write when i am relieving stress so until next time enjoy :)

❖ word count: 1.6k (legit one word away from 1.7k)

❖ paring: jeon wonwoo  x gn reader

❖: high school au, soulmate au

Ah, high school, a time where smarts and social status do not mix well together. You are either lucky enough to be a part of the popular crowd, being invited to all of the hottest parties, and dating the hottest people. Or get a normal student focusing on their studies and not giving a crap about any social status that one may obtain. Walking down the hallway with your earbuds in your ear you didn’t care about the people around you. You were just at school to study and graduate knowing that you were destined for greatness after high school.

“Excuse me,” you heard a voice coming from behind you. Pulling out your airpods you were faced with Mina and her group of followers. “Can I help you?” you questioned her as you had no idea what she wanted from you. You have never even said two words to her before this moment so you were highly confused about what was happening. “You are walking slowly and my locker is right there so can you please use your two legs and move faster please,” Mina motioned for her hands to move. Rolling your eyes you did just that and proceed to walk into class.

“Hey y/n you look, not good,” your best friend Joshua as he saw you sit down at your desk. Setting your head down a small sigh left your month “I hate Myoui Mina with a passion, I get it she is popular but does that give her a reason to freakin pick on everyone like come freakin on”. Joshua extended his arm and gently pat you on the back “there their y/n, rant to your best friend,”. Raising your head up you saw Mina walking into class with her boyfriend Wonwoo as his arm was around her. “Great this is going to be a long day,” you set your head back down and moped.

As time passed by you started to get bored in class as you finished all of your assignments. You opened a new tab on your laptop and entered into a chatroom. A smile grew on your face as you got excited seeing your friend mrbookworm was online. A bit of backstory mrbookworm is actually your soulmate but you felt really awkward calling him your soulmate since you had no idea who he was.

ouasunshine: hey i see that you are alive

mrbookworm: yeah i finished my classwork a bit early so i wanted to see if you were on or not

mrbookworm: and just like i expected here you are :)

ouasunshine: i am highly convinced that you are just on this chat room 24/7 waiting for me to come online

mrbookworm: you would be disappointed if that was false ;)

ouasunshine: dont get cheesy with me.

A chuckle left your mouth knowing how much mrbookworm made you feel. But it sucked that you did not know him in person cause you really did believe that if you did your whole world would be different. He seems like the type of person who really did not care about social status or what others think of him. 

mrbookworm: how are your classes today?

ouasunshine: the normally but I did have a lovely run-in with one of the ‘popular’ at my school

ouasunshine: let’s just say it was not really the highlight of my day

mrbookworm: :( im sorry you had a rough day I wish there to make you feel better

ouasunshine: i have to go, the bell just rang

Packing up your backpack and quickly walked out of the classroom trying your best to avoid any more interactions with that clique. Which for once was in your favor as you didn’t run into any of that crowd for the rest of the school day. Your absolute favorite time of the day was when the last bell rang and you were able to go to the library. It was quiet and wasn’t too crowded unless it was midterm or final season. The librarians were also very appreciative that you came during your free time and helped out. “Y/n, I just wanted to let you know that we are going to close up a bit early so don’t be alarmed okay,”. “I won’t Mrs. Park,” you said with a smile on your face and then returned to your book. 

As time passed you were getting lost in your book. “Excuse me,” looking up from your book you say Wonwoo standing in front of you “Um can I check out a laptop?”. “Sure but the library is closing early so you have at least 30 minutes before I have to ask for it back. ID please,” you held out your hand. He handed it to you and once you scanned everything you handed it back to him. You watched as he walked away and returned to your book. Looking over at the desk that was in front of you you saw your phone buzzing. You moved forwards to see if anyone was in your line of sight and if anyone could see you, let’s just say you were in the clear.

mrbookworm: if you were picking out a book for me, what book would you recommend?

ouasunshine: what makes you say that I am a reader?

mrbookworm: well for one thing your soulmate is a bookworm aka i am a bookworm 

mrbookworm: i kinda hope that my soulmate is one too

ouasunshine: Are We There Yet? by David Levithan. It is about two brothers who go to Italy and they end up falling for the same girl but neither of them knows. It is pretty good. I give it a solid ⅘ but it definitely breaks the love standards that we are used to.

mrbookworm: wow i can’t imagine a system without soulmates

ouasunshine: i feel like the system of soulmates will still exist but people won’t know see the signs unless they are truly in love

mrbookworm: do you think there will be a possibility that we would be soulmates without this whole soulmate system.

ouasunshine: that is really hard to say

The clock hit 15:30 and you had to leave. So you logged out and looked around for Wonwoo to get everything back. “Um hey so,” you said walking up to where he was sitting out. “Oh is it time already?,” he said looking at his watch and then back at you. “Yeah, sorry for kicking you out I guess? I mean I know we are open later than this but you know closing hours aren’t my rules to make,” you said looking at him. “No no I understand, do you think I can check out a book or will it be easier to get it tomorrow morning?”. “Probably come tomorrow morning then you have more time to actually look for your book if you have no idea where it is located,”. “Yeah I think that will be my best bet. Thanks for the help y/n,”.

You were taken aback by him saying your name was this was one of the first time that you have ever had a conversation with him. “No problem, Wonwoo,: smiling back at him as you walked him out before locking up.

As the night was drawing to an end you were laying in bed finishing up an homework assignment. It was a simple reading so it was nothing heavy but you did wish that time would pass faster. A ding from your computer and you saw the lovely notification from your soulmate.

mrbookworm: two truths and one lie?

ouasunshine: hello to you too,

ouasunshine: what are you doing lol

mrbookworm: i’m bored and I don't feel like bothering my friends

ouasunshine: so you wanted to bother me?

mrbookworm: you’re my soulmate ;)

mrbookworm: you are kinda stuck with me forever 

ouasunshine: i mean i guess i can spare a minute or two

ouasunshine: ummm

ouasunshine: my favorite cake is red velvet, i played soccer as a kid and i’m 75% certain i was a butterfly in my kindergarten school play.

mrbookworm: oh that is an easy one

mrbookworm: it's the butterfly one

ouasunshine: i wish you can hear me laugh

ouasunshine: it is actually the cake one

mrbookworm: you’re lying

ouasunshine: no i believe that i have a picture somewhere.

ouasunshine: i was either a butterfly or a flower but i have a picture somewhere

mrbookworm: well when i meet you in person you will have to show me

mrbookworm: but what is the lie?

ouasunshine: i really don't like red velvet cake

For the rest of the night, you were talking to your soulmate. And just like you wished for at the beginning of the night the hours did fly by when you were talking to him.

Arriving at school early you walked straight to the library. You unlocked the door and headed to the main deck and pulled out the book that you were reading last night. And to your surprise the first person who entered was Wonwoo.

“Good Morning,” he said, walking up to the desk with a smile on his face. The soft curls from his hair lightly hit the top of his glasses. And the grey sweatshirt that he wasn’t helping his case and we really did look nice. “Hey morning, are you here to look for that book from yesterday?”. “Yeah I am looking for Are We There Yet? by David Levithan,”. Your head lifted from the computer and stopped typing mid-sentence. “No there is no way,” you thought to yourself. “Is there something wrong? Is it checked out?”. “No it’s not that, it’s just I recommended that book to someone yesterday, it is one of my favorites,” you said looking away. “Oh same, well not me recommended but it was recommended to me,” Wonwoo said looking down at the ground.

“This is a very out of the blue question but are you mrbookworm? Again totally random questions and if you aren’t that this is highly embarrassing,”. Wonwoo just looked at you and smiled. “Hi ouasunshine, I’m expecting to see that picture of you as a butterfly one day, maybe over coffee?”. “I would really like that,”.

[yakocchi]

Becoming a Family With Him, Part 3 // Shuichi, Hikaru, Rhion, Luke, Eisuke

so this came out, as further celebration for the anni. VERY GOOD, much more appreciated than the prior story set lol that one was kind of boring but i get it

they made the kids for all the... kid-less ones, and the eisuke one that used to be VIP-exclusive is now here for everyone to buy (rip those ppl who gacha for it)

my rambling behind the cut (spoilers!!)

shuichi // as ud expect, shuichi has a literal hime ass looking girl (kikyo) for a daughter. she’s only 6, but is pretty calm and ladylike. She even calls her parents with –sama so... ok luckily shuichi does not strip down all the way in the presence of her daughter and only takes off his suit coat. thanks dad

anyway since shuichi has a break coming up, he wants to have a family trip how nice. but then the dang girl wants to go over to see eisuke WHAT when soryu exists and lives a block away? unrelatable, im closing the app anyway eisuke is her first love, which wtf he’s like 20 yrs older than u. even worse, mc says she’s been in love since she was like 3.

shuichi is reconsidering the benefits of democracy in his mind but eventually relents. but then they’re still following the fucc-days rule they set years ago. well, as he says in the story, RULES ARE RULES

blah blah i don’t want to go over everything bc then it’ll be boring reading the story when it comes out in engl right? also im tired bc it’s 1 am and i just want to play toontown in bed but nothing really bad happens. they are a v cute family bc shuichi is a pleasant and mature dad. kikyo and mc even do a little surprise for him at the end and it is very sweet. i feel like out of all the families, this is the most ideal

mad hatter // so they have twin sons named Rui and Kai. Rui is the childlike one that resembles Rhion in personality, Kai is the more mature one that resembles Al. man i forget that boy’s name but u get me i know they only can use stock bgs but it’s killing me that these dang kids get to sleep in what looks like separate king sized beds.

even though rhion is now a father of two, he still acts like... 10. i mean he still horni but it makes me feel weird

later it’s revealed that Ota teaches them both as an art tutor bc they both showed an interest in art. this is cute bc ota is bad with kids in this universe LOL

the ending on this one was weird cuz the kids didn’t show up in the entirety of the last ep bc it was about WORK. so uh... interesting

hikaru // so their son is named akari. haha get it because it means light. like how hikaru also means light. can mc name her kids unrelated to their father or is that against the Geneva convention

this kid actually acts like an actual little boy. like what hikaru would’ve probably turned into if not for the whole sad backstory. the story starts with akari just bringing a dog randomly home one day. he actually saved the dog (it is very cute bc he did not want the dog to cry), and then after a talk they decide to keep the dog as long as akari knows the responsibility of taking care of an animal.

so next day, the bidders come over to their house and everyone’s like woaw a dog. lol they come into their house as guests and eisuke and mamo still demand for beverages, they all suck

akari names the dog... “Light” (Raito) and i want out of this nightmare. Naturally bc Light is an abandoned dog it’s still kind of bad with interacting with things. But then Light suddenly be giving the ( ╹ਊ╹) to soryu bc remember, animals love him. everyone clowns on soryu for being an unintentional dog whisperer and then akari is like “soryu san pls make me ur apprentice” and he gives some advice like approaching it slowly, and talking to it from the front instead of back.

blah blah there’s a situation where Light goes YEET after a Doberman gets all angry and then hides bc then another dog is scaring it. hikaru swoops in to the save the day as the Real Dog Whisperer. ok it’s cute when hikaru actually gets to look cool  for once LOL

luke // luke is cute on the bc “pre-story” scene he’s actually pretty open to the idea of having kids; he actually goes “well imo we should think abt it pretty soon, but i wanted to hear ur opinion on it” but then he gets horni. and then he’s like “our kids are going to have your collarbones. awesomeee im looking forward to that” ....ok

ok cut to the actual story and they’re in Japan. Luke’s kid looks... strange versus the others. why are his eyes so big? omg voltage his eyes arent going to be saucers just cuz he half white also the kid’s name is Yuri (Or Urey). They couldn’t think of any other Brit-styled names? Like Harry? Henry? William? Wilfred? hey stan be my princess btw he’s pretty cute, though he gives serious “timid kid that gets bullied in the children’s movie” vibes. He calls Luke “daddy” and mc “mammy/mommy”.

so luke talks about his relationship w/ soryu and eisuke and then yuri is like “i want friends like that” wow cute but also find less ethically-complicated friends

so luke lets yuri meet a young patient of his (haru) so they can be friends. they get along so it’s good. haru gets in critical condition later so luke zooms outta there to do the operation.

LOL but at the end yuri is like, “i want to make more friends. (...) can i go to the bidder’s room from now on?” this boy works fast

And then he’s like “Eisuke-san... please be my friend.” HIS POWER. even eisuke was like :O so then eisuke orders a whole bunch of food and books up to the penthouse. But then yuri’s like “...i like eisuke’s eyes” and everyone’s like oh man that’s gonna be his fetish

Baba: why have u started to have an interest in eyes Yuri: I read it from one of daddy’s medical books Hikaru: wtf u can read that at 4??? (...) Soryu: wat Yuri: um... i want soryu to be my friend too Yuri: bc soryu’s eyes are also powerfully cool...

eisuke // ok this gets an extended ramble bc the more annoying the story the longer i must complain

so you might be thinking, “oh so this is gonna be a flashback in some in media res styled story with your 2 kids, u know in the style of the others” and well, no you just go straight to white screen into the flashback, back when eito was smaller and thus a little more cute. well it’s not really false advertising bc they did say “reminisce” in the description. but i wanted to see eito be a good big brother for a moment! or... less good? man i wanted to see kaito go waaaah like a baby idk i wanted to see him exist

so back to the story they cut to small eito. even as a smaller punk he does fight with his dad a little, just w/ a more narrow vocabulary to work with. tho at this point he’s still pretty sweet so clearly eisuke clowning him day and night was a negative effect on his development. (doesn’t treat his child like a child) (child grows up to a punk that doesn’t respect him) (surprised pikachu) being the son of a billionaire means that this child has to go study at a very young age and listen to MOZART. no child of eisuke ichinomiya will be listening to degenerate bops like lee taemin’s criminal next day they all go to the very fancy school that eito will be attending. eisuke does a speech, but then eito is all like “why is papa over there all the time” in reference to how all the other parents in attendance are having fun with their children, but eisuke is busy talking to other people for business and connections etc. etc. mc kind of has a hard time trying to explain it to eito bc... it’s honestly poor parenting... eiji shows up after arriving late, and he’s like “gramps is gonna be with ya today! instead of papa” which is cute but then she’s like psst thanks for coming and im like oh... so grandpa just didn’t randomly come to the open house for fun he’s just gonna be surrogate dad while real dad is busy... aw... and then at the end eito’s like FUC THIS KINDERGARTEN. eisuke is like “(smh) don’t yell in public. (despite everything) you are still the eldest son of the Ichinomiya family”

and so afterwards it’s clear that eito does not want anything to do with this school. he just sits in the classroom until mc is there to pick him up instead of playing in the courtyard or w/e, wanting nothing to do with the other kids.

so later there’s a hiking trip for the students and both of their parents, and mc asks eisuke if he’ll be available for it. eisuke is like, “i have a business trip that day, so I’ll have to adjust my schedule” and he’s been very busy in the opening of a new business or w/e. mc tells him to not do so much for something like that and that it’s ok if she goes alone with eito on the trip.

it’s the day of the trip, and mc goes alone with eito. she notes that a lot of dads did indeed come along for the trip. she apologizes to eito and says that she did talk to eisuke about the trip before, but he’s simply busy for this day. and im like... but girl, you were the one who told him not to change his schedule for the trip. yes a trip may seem less important than business ventures, but don’t make it sound like you weren’t the one who stopped him. lol. idk why im pressed abt this single line of dialogue bc later she does realize she fucced up there well eito is just like w/e about it and has pretty much accepted that sort of thing

anyway eito goes missing later and one of the kids said that he told eito that his dad (eisuke) didn’t come bc his dad thinks that his work is more important than his son. so eito got mad and ran off somewhere

and then mc finally gets the lightbulb moment that eito... wants to see his dad!! he ran off to go try to see him somehow??? !! wow so sweet

it’s raining like a mf but then in her search for eito eisuke randomly pops out of nowhere. He’s like “ho i did not remember saying that i wasn’t coming” and she’s like “im sorrryyy” and both me and him are like “just find the dang kid”

ok yea they find eito, he starts being a good student, and u start to see where he starts being antagonistic towards his dad LOL etc. etc. lol this story annoyed me so i don’t feel like doing the rest of the play by play orz

anyway thanks for reading my garbage LOL

[beckydoesthings]

I spend far too much time on AO3 to let it all go to waste, so here’s a collection of ABO fics that I thoroughly enjoy. These are all hxl unless specified otherwise. I tried to condense my total list into one post, but I very quickly realized it would be waaaaay too long, so I split it up. 

*will continue to update this. also if i mistagged an author, i deeply apologize, i do not know how to tumblr*

sleeping on our problems

E | 67k | @falsegoodnight

I’m in love with you, Louis thinks. He feels empty, weighed down by his sadness and the loss of Harry inside him just moments ago before his knot finally went down.  There’s moments where he’s sure Harry feels the same. Like now, when he’s gazing down at Louis with so much adoration and tenderness. It’s like they’re both on the cusp of something more, but neither of them ever say a word. His confession is on the tip of his tongue ready to slide out like honey, and yet he remains silent. They both do, looking at each other and recognizing the reluctance mirrored in each other’s eyes. It’s then that Louis realizes they’re both scared. - Or Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

this is everything i’ve ever wanted in an ABO fic and i’m genuinely in love with this. i think i cried reading this lol and i’m not ashamed of it. also the smut!

A Distant Hazy Light

E | 198k | @greenfeelings

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down, until he builds his own up.

this is part one of a three part ABO series that also probably made me cry at some point. chock full of angst and heartbreak with an (eventual) happy ending. also the side ziam is just *chef’s kiss*. 

pray for some sweet simplicity

E | 237k | @eeveelou

Louis is the only omega to ever make it in the cut-throat world of competitive motorcycle racing—that is, he would be if anyone actually knew about his identity. Now, his sights are set towards competing in—and winning—the European Grand Prix, the biggest and most difficult race of the entire year, so he can disappear underground for good. He’s close enough, too, until an alpha sports journalist is assigned to follow Louis’s every move as he prepares for the event of his career.

Or, an AU where motorcycle racing is the biggest sport in a heavily divided world, Louis is trying to take control of his own destiny, and Harry is in for more than he bargained for.

it’s just so beautiful. their relationship development was soooo good and i adored reading this piece. i never thought i could enjoy a motorcycle racing story so much!

A Sea Without Water, A Compass Without Direction

T | 84k

”Tell me, Louis,” Captain Styles said, leaning forward a little. ”D’you think I’m an idiot?”

”I—what?” Louis asked, surprised by the blunt question. He had expected something different, something along the lines of how he learned music, or how he ended up as a prisoner on the other ship.

”Do you think I’m an idiot?” The captain repeated, putting emphasis on each word as though Louis couldn’t understand him otherwise.

”Of course not,” Louis said, shaking his head. He’d be a fool for thinking such a thing, and an even bigger fool for saying it out loud. ”Captain.”

Captain Styles nodded slowly, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands in his lap. ”Then why did you lie to me?”

”L-Lie?”

”Out on the deck. You lied to me,” he said. He held up his hand, three fingers up. ”Three lies total. I hate liars.”

i think i’ve read this like a dozen times and it’s still. so. good. probably the first pirate fic i read and i love it so much! the dynamic between them is awesome to read.

Seeing Blind

E | 46k | @that-idiot-overthere

Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”

OR the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities.

the smut in this fic is absolutely filthy and i love it ;). but watching the two boys be idiots in love made this fic for me.

The Space Between

E | 40k | @alltheselights

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

i wanted to smack harry the entire time i was reading this, but in a cool way obviously. it’s quite fluffy but it’s got enough angst to make it suspenseful.

Face Your Fears

E | 92k | @sadaveniren

Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

this fic is a rollercoaster of emotions from beginning to end and it’s amazing to read. i’m not sure what i love more, the fact that harry’s a baker or half the plot being based around wikipedia being false.

The Compulsion to Find Love

E | 140k | @toomanydreamers

The most prestigious English third-level institution, Candling University, accepts omega students for the first time and Louis Tomlinson applies with bright eyes and brighter ambitions. There he encounters personal obstacles, traditional mindsets and a beautiful boy who inverts every prejudice Louis has ever known.

it is quite a lengthy story but totally worth it. i adore louis’ fierce determination in this! 

We Both Got Nothing to Hide

E | 43k 

“Talk to me, Lou.”

“I can’t,” Louis mumbled, knowing he genuinely couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit to what he was doing. “Don’t ask me to say it, because I can’t.”

“Then… I’ll try and guess. You’ve… got some stuff of Harry’s. Something of his to make it smell like him?”

Louis just nodded, eyes fixated on the floor. This was humiliating, but he knew Zayn wouldn’t stop until he found out what was going on.

“Okay. Like… a blanket, or a comforter or something?”

“Kind of…”

//

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

personal favorite because i have a soft spot for nesting. but i love the relationship between the two and it’s. so. fluffy i could melt.

lemon eyes

E | 50k

It's not proper for omegas to mess around with alphas before finding their bondmate. But Harry doesn't give a damn what's proper and fully intends on getting as much experience as he can before even trying to find one. As far as he's concerned, the right alpha won't care, and he'll have some fun on the way.

And who better to start with than Louis Tomlinson, the alpha with the worst reputation on campus?

ah yes a fic where Louis is an alpha and both are versatile?? wack. anyways, the smut in this is awesome and harry’s an idiot. what’s new?? (jkjk)

A Taste of Desire

E | 104k | @casuallyhl

“As forward as I have been with you this evening, I am also aware this dinner party isn’t the place to conduct business.” Mr. Tomlinson chuckles quietly to himself, shooting a subtle glance across the table towards their hostess. “And besides, I am sure our hostess would be horribly disappointed to learn that we went away this evening with a business agreement and not a mating one.”

Harry, who had been sipping his wine, coughs harshly at this. He splutters, unaccustomed to such blatant statements about mating.

Mr. Tomlinson continues to laugh quietly, clearly pleased at Harry’s reaction.

“Mrs. Humphreys promised that there was an alpha attending the dinner tonight that I would certainly get on well with,” Mr. Tomlinson continues, voice teasing. “She assured me that we would have much in common since we both work with mills.” Mr. Tomlinson glances at Harry, eyes flashing with mirth. “Little did she know that would be where our mutual interests began and ended.”

Or, a Victorian ABO where Harry is the owner of the most successful cotton mill in Manchester, and Louis is an opinionated social activist about to disrupt Harry’s world.

one of my favorite historical AUs! i love how strong and opinionated Louis is and how Harry comes round to follow. 

Canyon Moon

E | 40k | @eeveelou

For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry.

Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

disney AUs are the shit! i’ve got a small love for werewolf fics and this is one of my favorites. love how this takes the story of lion king for a spin.

Quiet People Have the Loudest Minds

M | 38k | @2tiedships2

Broadway shows were one of the few things that could keep Louis’ attention for a full two hours without needing to move about. But not tonight.

The alpha next to him was both infuriating him and practically turning him on at the same time. He needed to leave. The alpha, that is. Louis was staying.

Or the one where Louis is a nonverbal omega who has accepted the fact that he will never find an alpha that will treat him as an equal. On the other hand, he’s never met anyone like Harry.

i love how just sappy and sweet this is, like there are just hearts pouring out of my eyes as i read this. also broadway!

*updated 2/15/21*

[anarmorofwords]

I kinda wanna write a better version of tlh where Tatiana is still insane but there's no Belial bc that makes zero sense to me

In this version there would be:

Kamanna done correctly with actual genderqueer rep and not toxic relationships

Barbra and Oliver bc fight me she didn't die

Genie and Filomena bc I love them and all the lightwoods are queer

The gracelet doesn't even happen bc I refuse to write that

Grace is pretty much still the same but she breaks off their(hers and james') relationship bc she notices that he loves Cordelia

No bad James. He's not a shitty person to Alastair, and he doesn't treat Cordelia like a sex object

Anna puts a stop to Kellington and Matthew's relationship before it gets serious. She also tries to get him to stop drinking all the time

Alastair apologizes around seeing them again for the first time. The merry thieves are a little reluctant because of some of the things he did but they don't actively try to keep him away from events that they're at

Matthew notices how Alastair looks at Thomas and locks them in the sanctuary with Genie and Cordelia's help

Grace gets badly injured due to a mistake in necromancy and Christopher helps her treat it without letting people know

Lucie meets Jesse, and falls in love ofc, so in order to bring him back successfully she asks Malcolm to train her in using her magic

Matthew opens up to his mom about the incident. She doesn't blame him at all and instead apologizes for often putting her work before him

Matthew finds out about Charles and Alastair because he found Alastairxs break up letter to Charles

Matthew, the mother hen he is, decided to attempt to murder his older brother, only being stopped by James who had been there at the right time

Kamala ends things with Charles and tells Anna that she still loves them and hopes that she will give her another chance

Anna told her that they needed time to think, and that she is worried how Kamala's reputation will be affected if anyone besides their friends and Anna's family finds out

Kamala respects her decision and doesn't contact her until Anna's ready to talk about things

The merry thieves don't ignore Christopher and they actively listen and help him

The merry thieves also aren't terrible to Grace bc they realize she's been isolated alone with Tatiana and 1) she might not understand what's saying/doing is wrong or 2) that sometimes she's trying to push them away so her abilities don't accidentally make them do something

Good tid parents

James and Alastair being respectful to each other despite personal differences

Matthew, Alastair, Kamala, Christopher, and Grace being besties, or as I call them, the neglected squad

No fetishizing mlm/wlw

Domestic cuddles and taking care of the other one when they're sick

Jesse/Lucie/Matthew pairing bc I love them and I refuse to pick between lucie/matthew and lucie/jesse

Christopher teaching Grace the elements(at the time) on the periodic table

Tatiana dies at the end yay

It's very unpolished and I'm open to b hearing any feedback and/or suggestions that anyone may have

The idea came to me and I decided it would be best if I told someone before I forgot

hi, I'm sorry it took so long,but I wanted to properly answer this and I keep having either internet connection issues or little time

DON'T BE SHY, WRITE THIS 👀

In all seriousness tho... THIS IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION?!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START I AM UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA, I NEED IT

Look, I've been on the verge of rewriting ChoI, and I keep saying I want someone to write a TLH that will live up to its potential, but I've never actually came up with a proper idea for it, and you?!! YOUR BRAIN DARLING THIS IS GENIUS

ok hold up I'll just react to each and every single one so

yes please?!? I mean it started off so sweet in EEV?! Also actually genderqueer Anna and not dancing around the subject like CC is doing now?! That's what they deserve, and that's what we all deserve too

yesss please. also just,,,, Barbara, the feminine, not-wanting-to-fight-which-doesnt-make-her-less-badass queen that she is, getting the page space and appreciation she deserves

that's actually brilliant?!? it would be so great, just imagine the new girl arrives for her travel year and Genie is completely awestruck. I'm so invested in Joshwood it's difficult to imagine not having them, but this is actually the only valid alternative?!

ok that's fine. I think it could still happen and be done well, but tbh for now... the gracelet doesn't seem to have done anything relevant to the plot itself? I mean yeah it messed up James's life and Jordelia, but what did it give Belial? Tatiana? nothing. It makes no sense atm.

could be! maybe she's still encouraged by Tatiana to befriend/seduce him, but without the gracelet it doesn't work out? or maybe James somehow manages to realize that she's in danger and he actually like,,,, kidnaps her? idk idk

yes. YES. just,,,,z James is a sweet compassionate literature nerd who accidentally makes a good leader and he actually cares about people, and not just judges them from his high horse; he does still have hero syndrome, but he's kind and respectful and overall a good character

ANNA INTERVENES ABOUT KELLINGTON PLZ. PEOPLE ACTUALLY NOTICE MATTHEW'S STRUGGLES. JAMES DOES, TOO, BECAUSE THERE'S NO GRACELET.

ok yes, so what about: basically TMT don't harass Alastair and accept his apology, and realize they were also being stupid and mean at times at the Academy (especially Math). Matthew doesn't want to accept Alastair's apology, because of The Sin, but his behaviour alerts the rest of TMT and they inquire what's wrong and he tells them about the sin and that's how he later tells his parents (because his friends encourage him) and as you say, she just hugs him and reassures him it's not his fault; so after that Matthew slowly begins to heal and accepts it wasn't Alastair's fault, and also since they've kind of adopted/started including Alastair in things, he can't help but notice he's actually changed and he even starts to grow fond of him

then like you said, Matthew notices Thomas likes Alastair PLEASE HE SO WOULD. I'm not sure about the Sanctuary, if it actually happens (I'll get to why later on), but him and Lucie get really invested in the matchmaking schemes, they include Genie/Kamala because these two are friends with Alastair (both? Or at this point only Kamala?) but they also share some Moments during their scheming/talking about love 👀 (yes I'm a Fairdale shipper, I think it's time to expose myself lol)

Which leads me to (sorry I'm going off order rn) YES YES YES LUCIE AND MATH PLEASE. A FELLOW SHIPPER, HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU. But since we're actually fixing him then we can give Jesse a personality and I'm totally down for poly Math/Lucie/Jesse

Lucie seeking Malcolm's help in secret, morally gray heroine style?!? no, it's probably not legal. but also has there ever been a Shadowhunter like her? If the Law doesn't expect such situations, it can't really forbid them...

Plz Matthew ready to strangle the carrot when he learns about their relationship, YES. sure, maybe he's still not the biggest fan of Alastair, but he's seen how much the boy's been through and starts to develop an attachment to him, and besides, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE GROOMED AND TREATED LIKE THAT. He's SO MAD at Charles, and he confronts him about it - remembering Kellington as he does, and it makes him sick to think his brother would do the same thing to someone. Maybe he gets very emotional over this and later finally tells his friends about Kellington? Maybe they didn't know before, only Anna did? So when they all realize what was happening then they comfort him etc? Or maybe it's just Alastair that learns now, and the others knew before, and they share a bonding moment over that?

Injured Grace seeking Kit's help is a genius idea I didn't know I needed

Kamanna giving each other time and space and deciding they need to question their relationship and figure out if it actually makes sense would be great. Anna realising she's very privileged and Kamala doesn't have those same opportunities, and also in general realising coming out should never be pressured or forced. Just,,,, Anna being self-aware and respectful towards Kamala. Well-written Anna. Plz. Also Kamanna is actually developed and not just "in love" because,,,,, they're attracted to each other? Maybe even remaining friends while Anna makes up their mind?

yeah just TMT being more compassionate and less judgy because they're not written by Judith so her bias isn't projected onto them

It's not a want, it's a need. They adopt Alastair and Grace eventually. Like, maybe not literally - although, Grace? - but you know what I mean.

I think they all should just have various friendship dynamics and switch between them, because people need more than one friend group

no fetishizing, no watching your brother make out with his lover, yessss

yes domestic cuddles, affection, taking care of wounds, all those things. plz.

Gracetopher bonding over science yes

obviously. or maybe she's imprisoned?!

ok, now for some more notes/my ideas etc., if you don't mind:

I actually think Belial could still be featured? After all, I don't think Tatiana could do much on her own, and since she seeks help from demons, it makes sense to include a Greater Demon as well. But Belial would have to be a stronger villain, written better; I'll think more about this

if that was the case, the serial killer plot could still happen, but be done better. and it would allow for a scenario I talked about with @littlx-songbxrd to happen, where it's Alastair who's falsely accused of murder. It creates a great opportunity to explore some things, because we know Alastair is much more likely to be seriously suspected, considering all the prejudices and bad rep his family has and all that

...what do you say to well-written Jordelia? 👀 Cordelia hasn't been obsessively in love with James since childhood, she only had a crush then. And now that they meet again, she's fond of him but not in love, not straight away. They're both grown up, and different people, but as they spend more and more time together, they fall in love. What if Cordelia gets to flirt with some other boys first? What then. What if she ends up choosing James, instead of going for the only boy she's ever had feelings for and idealized since childhood. What if we even make it friends-to-lovers and have James be a little jealous at some point?! but not in a possessive awful way, just "oh damn oh no"

Now I won't know peace until this exists BUT THANK YOU

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Hello, first of all, I love your work and I am so thankful that you literally keep this ship over water (lol). I would like to ask if you could write a fic where Sirius and James are enemies and Sirius then tries to seduce James (for whatever reason, maybe he tries to get something?), but falls in love on the way. When James finds out he's obviously angry, so bit of angst. I leave it up to you, but I would like a happy ending!

((A/N: Most of this fic is dealing with the fallout of James finding out, not the build-up to it, just fyi. This is a vague historical AU, where they're both lords at court or somthing. Bit of a warning for starting a relationship under false pretenses.))

Sirius didn't start his day with it in mind. He didn't sit alone in his room and come up with a scheme for how he could achieve his goal.

He was going about his day as normal, and when him and Potter traded insults, he ended it by whispering in his ear. Sirius didn't get close to people. Physically, he didn't get close. He liked his space. He didn't want people to touch him. Potter knew this, so he knew that it was out of the ordinary when Sirius leaned in and put his mouth by his ear.

He did it to throw Potter off. He didn't have any intention behind it other than that. He left him behind with a smirk and called it a victory. He thought that would be the end of it.

The next time he saw Potter, he was looking at Sirius warily, like he expected for something else to happen.

Looking back, Sirius had no excuse for it, other than that he thought it was amusing. It didn't take long after that for Sirius to fall head first. He knew that it was a mistake while it was happening, but he didn't do a damn thing to stop it.

*

"What the hell is this?" James asked.

Sirius blinked, closed the door, then squinted to try and make out what James was holding. Paper, obviously. Maybe they were letters? But there was a black seal on some of the envelopes on the desk behind him, and the only people that used black wax-

He stopped cold, all the blood draining from his face and leaving him ghostly pale. The only people that used black wax was in his family. Sirius thought he'd burned those letters when he couldn't find them later, but evidently, that had been a failing of his searching skills. He swallowed thickly. "It's not what it looks like."

James looked down at one of the unfolded letters in his hands and started to read. "'Sirius, good work on keeping the Potter heir distracted. Do whatever you need to to ensure he doesn't learn of-'"

"I know what it says," Sirius interrupted, his fear making him rude. "It's not true."

"Have your lies always been so transparent? You've been making a fool of me for months, and these letters are the proof."

"James, I swear it's not what it looks like," Sirius pleaded. "I know that it seems unbelievable, but if you would let me explain, I swear you'll understand."

James looked at him, expression unreadable. Then he said, "Fine. Explain."

Sirius opened his mouth, and nothing came out. He didn't know what to say. All he'd had in mind was that he couldn't let James walk out of here, because if he did, it would be for good. "I- okay, when it started, it was- I didn't know you. You were an enemy of my family and I didn't think about it, but-"

"So when you said that this wasn't what I thought, what you meant was that it's exactly what I thought," James interrupted, voice hard.

"It started out that way, but I fell in love with you."

Silence.

He hadn't said it to James before. It wasn't really something that was said in their family. It was supposed to be implicit. He was pretty sure that James knew how he felt, but he'd never said it to him until now. His heart was beating a mile a minute in his chest, nerves making him jittery. He already regretted saying it, sure that something horrible was about to happen, simply because he'd said it. "Ever since this stopped being casual, I haven't... I haven't been manipulating you this entire time. In the beginning, yes, I- I had ulterior motives, but it's not like that anymore."

James kept looking at him, expression unchanging. "That's it?" he asked eventually.

"What do you mean?"

"That's your entire explanation? That the letters are all correct except for the ones you've gotten in the last month?"

"Well..." Yes, honestly. That's all he had in his defense. "It's been more like a month and a half."

James tossed the letters behind him carelessly, allowing some of the letters to fall to the floor as he got to his feet. "How marvelous of you to correct me," he said flatly. "Instead of five months of you pretending, it was only four and a half." His throat worked, but it was several seconds before he said anything. "Consider your work done. I'll be leaving the capitol in three days."

"What?" Sirius said numbly. Surely he'd misheard. "What did you say?"

"I'll be leaving. I will no longer be in a position to hinder your family's plans. You can pretend we never met."

There was a ringing in his ears, but he knew that he'd heard every word precisely as James said it. "In three days? No, it will take you more time than that to make the preparations."

"My staff was instructed to prepare two days ago. Rest assured, I will be gone when I say." James started to brush by him for the door, but he stopped when Sirius clamped a hand around his upper arm so they were standing right beside each other.

"Two days ago?" Sirius repeated. He hadn't known about the letters then. He'd had no reason to suspect that there had ever been anything amiss in their relationship, and yet he'd still made the decision. "You told me you loved me," he said, voice wobbling as tears sprang to his eyes. Before he'd had reason to doubt Sirius, he'd still been planning to leave him.

"Don't- for fuck's sake, don't do that," James said, sounding upset for the first time since Sirius had walked into the room. Before had been a cold anger, but he'd been in perfect control-- like a mask. This was real, and Sirius knew how to talk to James when it was real. "You played me perfectly, I admit it. You don't have to rub it in like this."

"I'm not rubbing it in!" Sirius screamed, turning to face him instead of letting their shoulders go in a straight line across. "You told me you loved me, but now you admit that you were going to leave me? After promising to always be by my side? You made these plans before you found out. I lied to you, and I tricked you, and yes, it was horrible of me but I thought you were my enemy and I acted in accordance with that. You spoke of love and still ended it in betrayal."

"I did not," James snarled, whirling to face him in kind.

James had never been angry with him before, and he relished in it. If this was to be the end, he would have it be memorable.

"You were supposed to come with me. I came here to ask you to come to my home with me, and instead I found that," he said with a violent gesture to the desk.

"What?"

"It doesn't matter anymore," he said dismissively. He made to leave, but Sirius grabbed hold of him desperately.

"It matters to me."

"I don't care about that anymore, either. I don't have to tell you anything. I don't owe you an explanation. I'm going to leave and then- I won't see you ever again."

"That's not what you want," Sirius said. Then, anxiously, "Is it? I mean, we-" deep breath, don't puke "-we love each other. You can't throw that away."

James took in a shaking breath, sounding as if he were about to cry, though his face didn't look the part to match. "I don't trust you anymore."

Sirius flinched, hand jerking away from James.

"It doesn't matter that I love you as if nothing's happened, because I wouldn't be able to trust you."

This time, when he tried to leave, Sirius didn't stop him.

*

Sirius knew that if this didn't work, he'd be completely humiliated. A Black did not get on their knees and beg, but that's exactly what he did.

"Don't leave me," he pleaded, looking up at James.

James's eyes were wide in shock as he looked down, and his mouth was agape. Clearly, he hadn't expected for Sirius to do something like this.

"What do I need to do for you to forgive me?" Sirius asked, and he was sure he sounded as desperate as he felt. "I will do anything."

"You-" James stopped, eyes darting around. People were staring. "Get up," he hissed.

"I will stay down here for as long as I need to prove to you that I'm serious about this and about you."

"Fine, you've proved you're serious about this, not get up."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. He wasn't sure he believed him. The choice was taken from him when James reached down and drug him to his feet.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked in an undertone.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me," Sirius said honestly. It made him feel a little jittery, but not half as much as saying the word 'love' had. Besides, James already knew that he was the best hing to happen to him. He'd known that from the first time they spent the night together, even though Sirius had still been trying to manipulate the situation to his family's benefit back then. "I will do whatever it takes to make sure you don't slip out of my life." He swallowed thickly, worried that, despite his best efforts, this wouldn't work. "I mean it, James. Whatever it takes. Tell me what to do, and I'll do it. Whatever you want me to do, name it and it's yours. Give me a chance, and I'll be able to prove that I'm capable of regaining your trust."

James wanted to believe him; Sirius could see it in his eyes. He wanted to accept, but Sirius didn't know what else to say to make him believe that he was being sincere. He had nothing else to add. He'd told James everything that he'd meant to.

"Please," he whispered. It couldn't make the situation worse, but he didn't really expect for it to do anything. After all, it was just one word, and it was one that he'd ignored plenty of times when someone said it to him.

But James caved. Not much, but it was enough. A little dent. His defenses had the slightest crack, and he was letting Sirius through. "You'd have to come home with me. I can't cancel my plans; I already wrote home and said that I'd be-"

"That's fine," Sirius said, pairing it with a weak smile-- weak, because he didn't know how happy James would be if he started grinning like a loon. "I'd be happy to go with you. You don't need to change a thing for me."

*

"I need to know one thing," James said. It was late, and Sirius had been half-asleep when he answered the door.

"Mhm?"

"When we started talking about the future, did you mean it?"

Sirius had avoided all questions about what they were and how long they'd be doing it when he hadn't cared about James. It was only after he'd fallen for him that they'd talked. He didn't need a single second to think it over before answering, "Yes. Every word."

"You don't make this easy, you know that?"

"I thought me caring would make this easier."

"Well." James cracked a smile. "It does. It's easier than if you didn't care about me, and I know I prefer it this way."

"I do too," Sirius said, rubbing at one of his eyes. "But like, it's late, and I'm tired, so can we finish talking about this in the morning?"

"I don't think we need to talk about anything else." He hesitated, then asked, "Can I stay with you tonight? Just sleeping, I promise."

Sirius nodded, a bit too enthusiastically.

James didn't say anything about his overly happy reaction, but his smile widened knowingly.

Once they settled in, he pressed a kiss to Sirius's hair. "I love you."

“You too,” Sirius said, because it was easier to say, but he did mean it.

[heathenarmyimagines]

Title: Find Us

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Summary: Ivar’s family have a very peculiar lunch guest.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight

Taglist: @ubbesgirl, @shewolf2000, @tis-itheapplepie, @atequila, @demoncrypt1066, @greennightspider, @badbitsh13, @fireismysaftey, @minarawr, @laketaj24, @hvitserksgirl, @blahblahcookiesdoma, @fabulous-peasent, @sforsammmmmi, @minmiin1d, @courtrae89, @letsloveimagines, @tomarisela, @titty-teetee, @beyond-the-ashes@elenawrit, @mblaqgi, @whenimaunicorn, @chuflisworld, @mystruggledlife, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @syreni-dea, @trashqueenbitch, @alykatv, @mbaku-babygirl, @perfectus-in-morte, @beyond-the-ashes, @neeadinghugs, @readsalot73, @triumphantreturnofpies, @anarchy-is-coming, @tephi101, @alicedopey, @ivarslittlebadgirl, @jtrstp, @nejijjeoroo, @charlylama, @ivartheblessed, @captstefanbrandt, @fabulouschrissi, @ivarsrideordie, @3x5gurl, @the-writer-appreciation-blog, @lolabee9, @captainfoxy22, @young-ugly-god, @im5ftbutmythroat66, @bribyyy, @irishhiggins, @cadetomlinson, @keclleon101, @slutforragnarssons, @ltkeke, @meeeeeeeeeps, @lille-kanin, @opalscarab, @ssraven7, @ivarandersen, @concretewaywardangel, @funmadnessandbadassvikings, @sharon-is-tired, @cadetomlinson, @mystruggledlife, @chuflisworld, @justmarissa97, @lol-haha-joke, @weirdly-randomly-awesome, @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanim, @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers, @alexa040004, @buckythetinman , @burntmythroatskullingmytea,@jorunnravenslayer, @two-unbeatable-beaters, @buffy-the-vampire-blogger, @arses21434, @ltkeke, @captainfoxy22, @chinduda @letsshamelessqueen-m @my-soul-is-the-moon @we-are-transcendent

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six,Part Seven, Part Eight

Ivar arrived home with a little over an hour to spare.

He was happy to say his legs were no longer burning in hot flames of pain and had died down to the usual dull simmering pain that he was used to dealing with.

As he walked to the stairs he took a moment to be childish and flick off the elevator.

He took a shower and for whatever reason his mind started to wonder, thinking about the series of unfortunate events that occurred last night.

The thought of himself being the great Viking king that his mother named him after was still too outlandish for him to think about. The splitting headache and nosebleed did little to encourage him to think about it.

So his mind moved on.

He thought of (Y/N), the way she accepted his legs, she didn’t immediately get that stupid look of pity or false empathy. No her eyes didn’t soften, nothing had changed in her eyes. She still saw him as she had before, and he was very happy for that.

Being in the family he came from he couldn’t find many friends, not any real ones anyway. His brothers could handle having friends who were drawn to the money and fame, but Ivar couldn’t stand people like that. He couldn’t explain it too well, but he could always see it, the hungry way people looked at him.

Like he was a walking ATM and if they could just get close enough to him then the money would never stop flowing.

All of them had the mutual understanding that none of the Ragnarson children ever wanted to be pushed into the public eye. No magazine articles or press interviews, but still they were hard not to recognize if only for the way their mother seemed to flaunt their wealth around.

(Y/N) had never seen the designer clothes his mother dressed him in or heard about out of country trips he had been dragged on.

Her eyes weren’t hungry, and he liked that.

Ivar liked to be around her, he liked the conversation with her and the way she never asked for favors, anything he did for her was his own choice and it always would be.

(Y/N).

His mind wandered to her in the car, when his nose had bled. With no hesitation she gave him the very shirt off her back. That thought made him think about her sitting in his passenger seat, topless and blushing. The way her face became an ungodly red when he had stupidly invaded her personal space.

Then it all went south, his mind decided to be treacherous and focus on that moment before the cop knocked on the window.

Ivar immediately shook his head and wrapped up his shower, if he set the water to ice cold for a few seconds then he’d never admit it.

Deciding to shut up his mind Ivar put in his earbuds and blasted his music while he got dressed, he walked past his real closet full of clothes he had picked up in shops and went to his second one.

The one his mother filled with brands that “people of their status” should be wearing, he picked up a suit without giving it a glance before he started putting it on with practiced ease.

As he was tying back his hair Hvitserk barged in the room, in a suit of his own.

‘Looking spiffy, bet (Y/N) would have loved to see it.’ his brother smiled as he sat on the bed.

‘Shut up.’ Ivar rolled his eyes as he took out his earbuds.

‘What did you wear to see her last night? Birthday suit?’ Hvitserk teased.

‘I said shut up, some people can be friends with girls and not have sex with them.’ Ivar sassed.

‘Of course they can, that just doesn’t seem to be the case for you Ivy.’

‘Don’t call me that.’

‘So you’re going to tell me that you...Ivar Hogh Ragnarson, got up in the middle of the night to meet a girl and nothing scandalous happened.’

‘Yes, nothing happened.’ Ivar said tiredly.

‘Well I don’t believe that for a second, why did you go out in the first place?’ Hvitserk asked.

‘I’m not going to keep talking about this, can we please just get downstairs before Mother comes looking for us.’ Ivar deflected.

Hvitserk rolled his eyes but he did sigh and got up, meaning that for now at least the subject was dropped.

The two of them headed downstairs to the dining area. As expected the table was covered in large expensive dishes, and of course none of it had been prepared by their mother.

The cook had truly outdone herself today, Ivar new his father must have given her quite a bonus for this feast.

At the head of the table was his father and his mother was sat in the seat on his right, both dressed in expensive brands.

Ubbe and Sigurd still hadn’t come down yet, but Ivar and Hvitserk took their seats across from each other.

‘Ivar...I heard the elevator. Are you feeling well?’ Ivar asked.

‘Yes I am fine, I just woke up in the odd hours where my medicine wasn’t as effective as usual. So I went out for a drive while it kicked in.’ he said casually.

‘You went driving?’ his mother asked.

‘Yes, not too far, I was safe I promise.’ he soothed.

His mother bit at her lip and looked away before she took a sip from her wine glass, she always drank when she worried.

She was always worrying.

Thankfully before the silence could become awkward the two missing brothers came down and took their places at the table.

‘Boys, this lunch is with a very important client, one of my first clients when I started out and he brought me a lot of business by nothing but word of mouth. He is usually quiet and very much so a shut in, and he comes from old money.’

‘If he is a shut in why did he suddenly ask to have lunch?’ Ubbe asked.

‘No idea, but I couldn’t decline. Now, I know you all know how to behave in front of clients, but this client is completely blind so be sensitive to that. Do not mention it, do you all understand?’ his father asked.

Everyone agreed and the conversation moved to lighter things like school and stocks and what summer plans were in consideration. It was all idle chit chat to pass the time while they waited for their guest.

At long last their loud dramatic doorbell rang and one of the housekeepers led in a man using a white cane.

The man was very tall, and that was impressive considering the fact that Ivar was the shortest Ragnarson while standing at exactly six foot.

He had to be at least seven feet, his black suit was clearly custom tailored to his body in a way that made it hard to tell if his suit was filled out by fat or pure muscle. His eyes and forehead were completely hidden behind the largest pair of reflective sunglasses Ivar had ever seen.

His skin was as pale porcelain, it was very oddly accompanied by the most visible light blue veins beneath his flesh and the black lipstick that was smeared over his almost fish like lips.

‘Hello Ragnar.’ the man said, his voice large and raspy as he had been smoking since he could walk.

‘Hello old man.’ Ragnar said happily.

‘I’m as old as I’ll ever be and as young as I can be now.’ the man said.

‘There goes that wise man way of speaking you are so famous for.’ the father smiled happily.

‘And there is the smile you are famous for.’

‘You can see me smiling?’ Ragnar teased.

‘My eyes see nothing, but I see all...that is my curse.’ the man said as he took his seat.

The whole table was silent, not even his father, the great conversationalist that he was, could make light of such a cryptic thing.

‘Don’t be so tense, introduce me to your family so we can eat this delightful feast.’

‘Of course, family meet my great client Mr. Divine. This is my wife Aslaug, my boys that I’m always talking about; Ubbe, Hvitserk, Sigurd and Ivar.’

‘You are missing two...a boy and a girl…a poor sick girl no one here but you ever got to see.’

Ivar was stunned, and judging by the almost loud silence his family members were in the same state.

His father didn’t speak of his only daughter, the girl that died long before he had been born. From what he had been told his half sister Gida had caught a horrible case of influenza and she just didn’t have a strong enough immune system.

No matter how he tried he couldn’t imagine his father talking about Gida with a client, no matter how important.

‘Yes...we should enjoy the feast.’ Ragnar said, not as cheerful as he had been before.

At last the lunch finally began and while it took a minute the conversation did pick up. Despite that Ivar couldn’t shake this sick feeling.

The feeling he had at the restaurant when (Y/N)’s mother was talking about her findings, like his entire body was covered in ants. He was still polite to the guest, but he just couldn’t look at this man for more than a few seconds.

For such a large spread the actual lunch passed rather quickly, and eventually no one could eat another bite.

‘This was a fine lunch, but I do have several appointments lined up so I must be going.

All of a sudden Ivar couldn’t control himself, there was a question he needed to ask before this man left.

‘Mr. Divine? Is that your given name?’

‘Ivar.’ Ragnar warned.

His ears suddenly burned red in embarrassment at his rude outburst.

‘No need to worry Ragnar, with youth comes curiosity and recklessness. Walk me to the door boy.’ Mr. Divine said to him.

Ivar looked at his father and after he received an approving nod he stood and walked around to the other side of the table.

Mr. Divine stood as well and pushed back his chair from the table, he used his cane to get around the table.

Ivar didn’t move to guide him, partially not wanting to startle him but mostly knowing instinctively that this man wouldn’t appreciate him assuming he needed help.

The two walked out of the dining room and made their way to the door.

‘Do you remember me?’

Ivar looked at the man in confusion.

‘Have I met you before? I think I’d remember if I had, you do leave an impression if I must say.’ Ivar replied politely.

‘We have before, just not in this life.’ Mr Divine said as he stopped walking and took off his humongous sunglasses.

Ivar’s heart dropped so quickly into his stomach as if it had suddenly been turned to lead in his chest, his palms were nearly spraying out sweat and he felt like his body was turning into stone.

Mr. Divine didn’t have eyes.

Not empty sockets he could fill with glass prosthetic ones, but there was nothing but skin covering the place where eyes should have been.

“No eyes…” (Y/N)’s voice rang in his mind.

This was him, it had to be; the one who spoke to her directly.

‘I see you don’t recall me personally, but you are aware of me thanks to the Christian child.’ he said as he moved closer to Ivar.

‘You are the one who talks to her...how are you here, those dreams happened centuries ago?’ Ivar asked in complete shock.

‘Not dreams...you know they are more than that don’t you...Boneless one.’

This time Ivar outright flinched at his words.

‘I-I’m not-’

‘You are; run from it and deny it all you like but the fact remains you are and the faster you embrace it the better off everyone you care about will be.’ Mr. Divine said gravely as he put on his glasses once again.

‘I-’ Ivar didn’t know what he had meant to say but it didn’t matter, because the blind man had already walked away.

‘Long long years I have roamed this horrible world and I will continue until you accept the truth. I pray to all the Gods that you do not make the same selfish mistakes again, there are too many people at stake.’ Mr. Divine said before he left, closing the door behind him.

Never before had Ivar felt such an odd feeling, but the one thing that mattered was that he didn’t like the feeling at all.

He didn’t like the man’s eyeless, black lipped face and he liked his words even less than that.

Ivar didn’t know who this man was or how he was here but he knew that if he never saw that blind bastard again he would have no complaints. All he had done was say stupid things that didn’t answer his questions and left more confused than he was before.

Selfish.

Ivar wasn’t selfish at all, he donated a majority of his monthly allowance to multiple charities and whatever he had left he gave away to the homeless or beggars he saw on the streets.

Angrier than he had been in quite some time he gritted his teeth and walked back into the dining room.

The maids were cleaning the table while the others were still there talking about the lunch they had just had.

‘So you are telling people about her now Ragnar? You rarely speak of Gida even to me, he must be a very good friend.’ Aslaug said politely, but everyone knew it was anything but.

Ivar didn’t bother sitting back down and instead made his way back to his room, he heard his brothers coming up behind him on the stairs.

‘I honestly don’t understand why they have to fight all the time, don’t they get tired?’ Hvitserk sighed.

‘Lord knows they aren’t staying together for our sakes so what is the point? Not like Mom wasn't already an heiress before she met him.’ Sigurd asked in a sour tone.

‘Who knows, it doesn’t matter. I'm going out with some friends, I’ll be back in the morning.’ Ubbe said.

‘Can I tag along? I have nothing going on, but I certainly don’t want to stay here.’ Hvitserk asked.

‘Sure, you two wanna join?’ Ubbe offered.

‘Hell no, I have my own plans, taking a girl to a poetry slam and then a night on the town.’ Sigurd said dismissively.

‘No need to ask Ivar, he has plans with his girlfriend.’ Hvitserk said.

‘Oh he finally got official with (Y/N)? Good for him.’ Sigurd hummed casually.

‘I’m not official with her, I’m not unofficial with her because I’m just friends with her.’ Ivar said in his own defense.

‘Well I don’t believe that for a second.’ Sigurd dismissed.

‘Funnily enough I said the same thing.’ Hvitserk added in agreement.

‘That’s because you idiots have two brain cells between the two of you and you’re sharing one of them.’ Ivar teased.

‘Whatever, you in or not?’ Ubbe asked in mild amusement at his younger brothers bickering.

‘No, gonna catch up on some Netflix documentaries, there’s a good one abou-‘

Ivar was cut off by his phone ringing in his pocket, he pulled it out and looked at the contact.

My Literal Child

‘Might I suggest you change her contact info, looks creepy considering the change in your relationship.’ Ubbe said.

‘I would like to suggest you invite her over to Netflix and Chill.’ Sigurd grinned.

‘Shut up.’ Ivar said as he went into his room and closed the door.

He accepted the call and kicked off his shoes.

‘What’s up, except for your horrible timing?’ Ivar answered.

‘Hey so I’m super grounded.’ she said.

‘Can I ask why, hello by the way.’

‘Because my mother isn’t blind enough to miss a hideous truck in her driveway.’

Ivar outwardly facepalmed, he had been so pill loopy and pain struck that he hadn’t even thought about hiding his truck a few blocks down.

‘But luckily my mom likes you so much she isn’t mad enough to kill me. I am still on lock down with the exception of school and I won't be allowed any visitors unless it's a classmate for a group assignment for two weeks.’

‘That sucks but is there anything else, because I have some news that will blow your mind.’ Ivar replied.

‘Actually yes, the doctor called my mom on Friday to set up a sleep study for me on Monday night. Problem is my mom can’t make it and that hospital isn’t really walking distance from my house.’

Do you want me to take you, I can wait for you in the waiting room too.’ Ivar offered.

‘Thanks, now what is your news? Is it...you know?’ she asked quietly in a way that suggested she didn’t want anyone hearing what they were talking about.

‘Yeah. Do you remember that guy you told me about from your dreams, the one with no eyes?’

‘Hard to forget a face like that.’

‘I know tell me about it, I just saw him.’ Ivar said.

‘What do you mean you saw him? Like you dreamed about him? Did he say anything to you?’ (Y/N) asked eagerly.

‘No not in a dream, I mean I saw him. He was just sitting down with me and my family having lunch. He’s one of my father’s first clients, he looked no older than fifty tops.’ Ivar ranted.

‘That’s not possible, we already know that all this past life stuff happened in the Viking Age, that is centuries ago, there is no way he could still be alive. Maybe he’s like us and just looks like his ancestor.’ she suggested

‘No. I don’t think so. He pulled me aside and he asked me if I remembered him, he called me…’ Ivar didn’t even want to say it.

‘He called you what Ivar?’ she urged.

‘Boneless, (Y/N) he called me Boneless one. He said he’s lived many years and he will continue to live in this horrible world until I embrace who I am. He said the sooner I do the better everyone will be, he said too many people are at stake. The bastard called me selfish and he doesn’t even know me!’ Ivar vented, growing angrier with every word.

‘Ivar! Ivar calm down! Calm down!’ (Y/N) cried from the other line.

‘How! Some old fool just showed up speaking like a cartoon fortune teller and called me selfish!’ he seethed.

‘If you aren’t then why be upset!’

All at once Ivar’s anger left him, and it left his body feeling deflated like a balloon.

He still took a few deep breaths just to assure himself that he was actually calm.

‘Are you good now?’

‘Yeah, yeah I’m good; I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell at you.’ he apologized.

‘I know, you only yell when we talk about who you might have been before; it’s like your twisted version of a defense mechanism. Not that I can blame you, I’m currently looking into this guy and yeah I get being afraid to be him, I’m scared reading it.’

‘I’ve read everything about him, I know almost every theory and legend that even mentions his name.’ Ivar replied as he laid in his bed and looked up at his ceiling.

‘Who is your favorite fairy tale character?’ Ivar asked.

‘Alice from Alice in Wonderland.’ she replied without hesitation.

‘Imagine some caterpillar showing up and saying you’re the real Alice and you just don’t remember.’

‘I’m sure I’d be too freaked by a talking bug.’ she joked.

‘Well the guy looks like an insect.’ Ivar snipped.

‘That’s mean. How about tomorrow after you get out of school you come over and we can talk about this eyeless guy for a while before I have to go in for my sleep study.’

‘I thought you said no visitors.’

‘I did but I did say she likes you and she seems to trust you to make sure I don’t take a nap before my sleep study. My neighbor is going to be checking on me during school hours.’

‘OK, I’ll be there.’

‘Thanks, so we are good to go. Oh and Ivar...for what it’s worth I don’t think you’re selfish; you’re the most generous guy I’ve met.’

‘I’m happy that you think so, I’ll see you tomorrow.’ Ivar said.

‘See you tomorrow Ivar.’ (Y/N) said before she hung up.

Ivar threw his phone down on his bed and closed his eyes.

She thought he was generous and that really made him feel bad about what he thought when Mr. Divine said too many people were at stake.

Why are they his responsibility?

[hornime]

hq as my discovery weekly | part one

warnings: this is completely sfw, combo of fluff and angst

characters included: kenma, akaashi, oikawa, suna, koganegawa, ushijima, bokuto, kuroo, hinata, kita, terushima, iwaizumi, osamu, kageyama, sakusa

a/n: this was a random idea i thought of but i think it’ll be really cute haha. maybe you guys’ll find some new songs in the process! totally encourage anyone to use this idea if they want cus this was super fun to write!

playing... one through fifteen / sixteen through thirty

↪ “cotton candy lemonade" by blu detiger: kenma kozume

i've been up too long, something's wrong / watch the rising sun / turning all my nights to days

i've been on my own, come find me now / i'm lonely to the bone / but I don't feel so low when you're around / let's run away from home

you'll bе my kaleidoscope, my color in this life / watching thе world fade away

kenma is not the most extroverted and he’s in his head a lot, so he’s someone that might not always see the ‘color’ in things that exist around him. but when it comes to you, well, you’re someone that makes him look up from his screen a little longer than usual.

↪ “love affair” by umi: akaashi keiji

don't overthink this is love / maybe it's just a crush

i hope what I feel is enough / maybe this is just lies

i wanna know how to feel, what to feel, what's right / i never know / 'cause when it gets real, I just run away / and hide from you

akaashi gets anxiety. he used to be certain about a lot of things—his intelligence, his skill, his happiness, but most important to him was his feelings for you. he’s overthinking again, he knows it, but he’s getting an uncontrollable itch that maybe this is all in his head; he doesn’t love you, he just think he does. but when you’re in his arms, breathing even and eyes fluttered shut, he remembers what you always told him: it doesn’t matter what he knows, it matters what he feels. and he feels like the luckiest man alive.

↪ “coke” by iii addicts, danice: oikawa tooru

come closer, i been eyeing you from way over / so it's time i come for some closure

had to let her know that you could lick this / shake it up, it's gonna probably gon' bust

why, tell me why / why am i not satisfied / every time i cross that line / i feel it, i feel it

oikawa feels like tantalus: a man constantly reaching for a goal just out of reach, straining his muscles and screaming his voice hoarse just for a glimpse of an unattainable destiny. he’s desperate to get ahead, and while he may be running at top speed at all times, the finish line doesn’t seem to be getting any closer. his worst fear is that, some time he’ll slow his pace and look back and realize he hasn’t gotten very far at all.

↪ “baby powder” by jenevieve: suna rintaro

i'll put up with you babe / there's somethings I won't take / baby don't feel me false / yeah that turns me off

you're making me so high now / you're everything I'd ever want / you're keeping me so dry now / you're everything I'd never want uh

plastic on the floor but it ain't for me / ima go up to the place that i'd rather be

suna is straightforward. he won’t deal with your bullshit, and he learns that you won’t deal with his either, which makes you so appealing. when he starts letting more and more of you in, he feels you slipping through his fingers. you wanted to be friends, so you treat him as one. he doesn’t remember when he started wanting more.

↪ “chandelier (instrumental version)” by paquin: koganegawa kanji

instrumental so no lyrics lol

koganegawa is bubbly. he’s a bouncer: he bounces between social circles, bounces colors behind his eyes, and bounces back after adversity. he’s an amiable guy, and it’s landed him plenty of friends and opportunities, but best of all, it’s landed him you.

↪ “l-over” by u.s. girls: ushijima wakatoshi

my lover has no heart / magic moving blood around that body / he's cool to the touch / i don't see him much / but when I do, he does nothing for me

can you imagine trying to get / some satisfaction out of a stone?

spare me any talk of your future life / i don't know what I'll do without you

ushijima is stubborn. he’s deadset on achieving his goals for the future, and if you can’t work with them, you better work around them. you’re tired of how he grounds you; you thought it was a blessing at first, having a guy that knew what he wanted and would always act as a constant in your life, but you’ve started to see that he’s not a lighthouse anymore, he’s an anchor. he’s an anchor that’s chaining you to the ocean floor and will drown you if you, even for a second, stop kicking your legs to stay afloat.

↪ “magic!” by リアムMAZE1981: bokuto koutarou

and when you smile at me that way / well you can warm the coldest day / it's magic

and all i have to do is think of you / to make the music start to play / then i dance down the street / and the people I meet stop and say hey hey

and when you want me you just clap your hands / and I'll be with you right away / then we'll float on a breeze / while the leaves in the trees softly say hey hey / magic ways, my friend / you love the girl with magic ways and it's true / i might as well give in

bokuto is bright. he tramps around the world with the light of the sun illuminating his face. there is nothing in the universe that could ever drag him down, especially not with you around. you’ve cast some kind of spell on him, he’s sure of it, because your very presence makes him certain that he’s immortal. he must be, because when he’s with you, he’s withstanding the heat of a thousand suns that erases the darkness in every shadow, corner, and crevice of his life. 

↪ “i hope that u think of me” by pity party (girls club): kuroo tetsuro

i hope that you dream of me baby / nightmares are what dreams are baby i-i-i / i think I'm fallin' out of love

you tell me that it's easy to be / you tell me that it's easy to be with me but you lie-i-i / why do you lie all the time?

kuroo is focused. he takes note of everything when he’s working on a task, down to dotting the ‘i’s and crossing the ‘t’s. he often finds himself with tunnel vision, unable to think of anything but the current responsibility at the top of his every-growing to-do list. somewhere along the way, he lost track of you—must’ve loosened his grip on your hand and your fingers fell through empty space. he’d look for you, back in the void, but he’s busy. he keeps moving, unaware that you’ve turned back, walking in the opposite direction as him to find the life before him that you barely remember.

↪ “the leanover” by life without buildings: hinata shoyo

kiss me, break my mind, close the door / black steel, break my mind, close the door

if i lose you in the street / i say, i say, i say, i say, i say, i say / wassup, wassup with you? / wassup with your friends?

hinata is unfazed. he knows that, when things go bad, there’ll always be something there to right them. so when your paths diverge—maybe your schedules don’t work out, your dates get canceled, your nights home become more and more sparse—he’s not worried. not one bit. because at the end of the night, he knows that you’ll always find your way back to one another, and you’ll always greet him with open arms. and he’ll always do the same.

↪ “ladyfingers - edit” by funding secured: kita shinsuke

instrumental so no lyrics lol

kita is polished. he works hard during the day to be with you at night, dancing in little circles in the small kitchen of your shared home. he looks at you with fondness and appreciation, thanking his stars a million times over for granting him with someone like you. he’s a tree, stable in the harshest of gales, but even trees like to sway with the wind sometimes.

↪ “black madonna” by cage the elephant: terushima yuuji

makes no difference here, so let's be real / black madonna, my black flower / nowhere left to run, nowhere left to hide / you're not havin' fun, i think that you should ride

climb so high, don't hear a sound / don't you forget what goes around, comes around / climb so high, tell me how to feel

call me when you're ready to be real / black madonna, my hallelujah

terushima is hedonistic. he’s never concerned himself with thoughts of the future, or of the past, or of anything, really. all he can think about is making each moment as willing to be lived as possible. you, on the other hand, are practical, too practical in his opinion, and he wants you to let loose, lighten up a little bit. maybe in the long run, it won’t be the best idea to let him take you by the hand and on a midnight adventure, but you haven’t thought that far ahead yet. guess he’s already rubbing off on you.

↪ “mother nature’s bitch” by okay kaya: iwaizumi hajime

everybody / please give a warm welcome to / to this current mood

here i am / easy to please / here i am / okay with it

here i am / desperate for attention / here i am / being mother nature's bitch

iwaizumi is hardworking. he does the best he can with everything he tries; sometimes that amounts to something and sometimes it doesn’t. most times it doesn’t fulfill his expectations, as high as they are. when you’re around, his borderline hatred for himself disappears. when you’re there to tell him how great he’s doing, the tension in his shoulders dissipates. 

↪ “smithereens” by rasharn powell, ab001: miya osamu

found my power / and my brethren / in a tussle with the world itself

see if I’m david, you’re goliath / there’s some power in defiance / put my heart in a slingshot / we been cycling away for days

searching for freedom always / likeness of an orgasm been had / empty with a peace that just don’t last / petite mort, then born again

osamu is pioneering. he opened a small business and eventually branched out, managing chains of his restaurant across the nation. it may not be a flashy job, but it’s a solid one, and a draining one. there are days of back-to-back shifts, afternoons overwhelming catering orders, and nights spent sleeping over on a cot near the kitchen. when he dreams, curled up with the smell of onigri still lingering in the air, he can only think of ‘what if’ he’d chosen another path, a path with a more obvious end, a more obvious definition of glory. but he still wakes up at dawn, conquering his own corner of the sky, knowing that his life, while it may be small, is not insignificant.

↪ “must be” by lou phelps: kageyama tobio

must be the henny on the ice / must be the diamonds that I buy / might be the shit that I write / whatever a n**** do and say, that's what I like

i'm on the cloud as i walk the front door / that's a boost, that's true, that's loo

yeah, um, i'mma need my space / 'cause you's a bum-bum, can't be standing next to me, uh / forgive me for my sins / don't tell me this is wrong if it feels right

kageyama is cocky. he’s good at what he does, amazing, actually, and he sure as hell knows it. he’s surrounded by people that make him better, people that he makes better, and he can’t think of a place he’d rather be. he’s on his way to carve his way into the moon and he’s not going to tolerate anyone that wants to keep him on earth.

↪ “jealous” by eyedress: sakusa kiyoomi

you could have anyone you want / why would you want to be with me? / you know, I'm nothing special

don't tell me about your problems / if you're not trying to solve them / don't ask me for my help

sakusa is independent. he’s not one to see himself as part of someone else’s orbit, opting to act like a random rock, floating in space with no origin and no destination. he’s worried that, if he gets too close to you, he’ll end up getting drawn in by your gravity and either crash land or burn up. neither seems appealing, and the idea of a safe encounter hasn’t even crossed his mind, so he’s going to keep moving on an endless trek towards the stars.

[i-am-totally-a-human-being]

Since you asked could I get Nagito fluff about their Gender neutral s/o who is scared because of the game ?

Coming right up! Seriously guys, all these requests have helped me distract myself. I’m kinda spreading them out so I don’t spam my account, I’m trying to do one every hour and a half or so.

I’m definitely not ok lol, but all your guys requests of my comfort boys and your wishes for me to get better are amazing. I’m so glad I have this blog as my outlet, and that I have amazing people wishing me well.

Oneshot is under the cut

You better not die

Nagito x reader comfort

Genre: fluff and comfort

Writing style: oneshot

Summary: exactly what Anon requested

Warnings: reader cries and has a breakdown I dunno if that’s triggering tho?? Maybe to some people so I’ll put it down just in case. Ummmm Nagito sorta degrades himself cause he’s Nagito. I think that’s all

This couldn’t be happening. A killing game?! Who could you even trust?! Before Monokuma had announced himself as well as the killing game, you had gotten to know the people there with you on the island, but now.... you really didn’t know who to trust.

You sat alone in your cabin, door and windows locked. You’d rather stay in there for all eternity than risk getting killed. You screamed, you couldn’t help it, when you heard a knock on your door. Someone was trying to kill you!

Well... if they were... you doubted they would knock. They probably would just break the door down...

Unless they were trying to lure you into a false sense of security!

“W-Who is it?” You whimpered barely loud enough for them to hear.

“It’s Nagito.” Ah, Nagito. The one person you still sorta trusted. He was.... weird, yes. But he also made it clear when Monokuma announced the game that he’d gladly die for hope...

But he never said he’d kill.

You slowly got up and opened the door just a crack, peeking through and seeing him alone. You sighed in relief and opened it all the way, gesturing for him to come in.

“Sorry for screaming. You just scared me is all.”

“It’s alright,” he smiled, “am I ok to close the door? If you’re not comfortable with that we can leave it open.” You nodded, walking over and shutting the door and locking it.

“I trust you, Nagito. Just... not anyone else.”

“Not even Sonia? I don’t think she could hurt a fly....”

“Not even Sonia,” you shook your head, “she’s sweet. It’s always the sweet ones that you don’t expect.” You tried to joke, but Nagito’s expression never faltered. He looked at you with concern and pity, making a knot form in your throat.

If he kept giving you that look.... you might just tell him how you feel.

Not just about the killing game scaring you. You definitely had a crush on him. Maybe that’s another reason why you trusted him.... simp.

“As much as I value humor in helping people keep their hopes up,” he sat down on your bed, gesturing for you to follow, “I don’t think it’s the best way for you to cope right now. We’re all scared, Y/N.... but I’m particularly worried about you.”

“M-Me?” You sat down next to him, trying to avoid contact, both with your eyes and physically. If you looked into his eyes you’d probably break down into tears, and if you brushed up against him you’d be too flustered to talk.

“Yes... I know it’s selfish of me to take it upon myself to help you.... but I notice how you seem to gravitate towards me and trust me. And who am I to not do anything I can to please an Ultimate? So can trash such as myself even do anything to help you?”

“You can stop degrading yourself, for starters.” You frowned. You really didn’t like his comments on himself, but this was a great way to shift the topic away from yourself.

“My apologies, Y/N. What can I do to help?” Dangit. He brought it back to you. You were hoping you’d have to convince him he’s not trash, waste time and hope he forgot about comforting you. But he was determined, and he knew what you were trying to do.

“I-I dunno,” your voice cracked, “I-I’m really ok, don’t worry-“

“Can I hug you?”

“H-Huh?!” His surprise request caught you completely off guard, making you look up at him. And that was his intention. You finally made eye contact with him, your mind and soul shattering into pieces.

As tears threatened to fall and as you started choking on your words due to the ever growing lump in your throat, Nagito swiftly grabbed your shoulders and wrapped his arms around you.

He had no need for self depreciation right now. He felt that he had no right to even breathe in your direction, let along hug you, but he overrides those thought by telling himself that this is to please you, not him.

That was the last straw for you. A loud cry erupted from your throat as tears started to flow, hugging him back and desperately clutching the back of his jacket. He gently rocked you back and forth, rubbing your back and whispering into your ear.

“It’s going to be alright, Y/N. I know you’re scared. We all are.... but I’m going to make sure nothing bad happens to you. I’ll keep you safe, ok?” You simply nodded as a response, still crying as hard. How could he protect you if he had clearly said he was ok to die for hope? Which statement was a lie at this point?

“B-But,” you eventually whimpered, “h-how can you do that if you’re dead?!”

“I’m... I’m not going to die. I’m going to stay alive. For you, my hope.” You shuddered at the nickname, butterflies admittedly forming in your stomach. You simply nodded once again, pulling him closer and burying your face in his neck as the last few sobs escaped your body.

Your tears eventually subsided, leaving you exhausted. You hadn’t cried that hard in so long, you forgot how tiring it was. Your body felt weak, threatening to go limp at any moment.

“N-Nagito,” you lifted your head slightly so he could hear, “I-I might... I might....”

“It’s alright,” he pet your hair (if you don’t have hair or if it’s not very long, imagine him just rubbing your arm), gently massaging your scalp, “sleep, Angel. I’ll still be here in the morning, if you’re ok with me staying.”

“Y-Yes please,” you nodded, curling up against him, “And please... call me that more often...” you mumbled without really thinking, earning a soft chuckle from him.

“Of course, Angel. Now rest. I’ll protect you tonight.” He picked you up and settled onto the bed better, pulling the covers over you as he cradled you to sleep.

———

You opened your eyes and looked around, an unfamiliar warmth surrounding you. This didn’t feel like a blanket.

You rolled over only to find yourself face to face with an asleep Nagito. You bit your lip to stop yourself from screaming and waking him up. He looked so... peaceful like that. But... why was he here?

Oh.... right. You had a bit of a mental breakdown last night. And he helped you through it, like the kind soul he was. You wanted to repay him for the love he had shown you.

You were trying to think of what you could do, when he stirred and groaned, stretching and opening his eyes. He gave you a sleepy smile when he saw you were awake.

“Good morning, Angel. Did you sleep ok?” Your heart fluttered once again at his nickname. You had forgotten that you asked him to call you that more.

“I-I slept fine, thank you,” your eyes darted around the room, looking at anything but him and his... beautiful face, “um... you didn’t have to stay here all night. I’m sorry you had to sleep in the bed with me...”

“It’s perfectly alright, dear. This may be selfish of me, but I did rather enjoy sleeping here. It... it felt nice to hold someone.” You noticed a small blush form on his cheeks, making you wonder if he felt the same about you as you did him.

“It... felt nice to be held,” you smiled, “I can’t thank you enough, Nagito. Seriously.” He chuckled, leaning forward and resting his forehead against yours.

“Thank you’s are not necessary. Getting to exist in your presence so intimately like this is thanks enough,” he hesitantly reached up, his slim and slightly chilled fingers cupping your cheek, “I understand how afraid you are, love. But... As I said last night: I am going to protect you. I’ll stick by your side and I’ll do everything I humanly can and more to get us out of here together.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, leaning into his touch, “together. You better stick to that.”

“I wouldn’t ever think of failing a promise to an ultimate such as yourself,” he rubbed your cheek with his thumb, “especially you. Specifically you.”

“Why me?”

“Because you’re special to me, S/O,” he looked away, suddenly shy, “it’s one of the reasons I came to comfort you last night. Because I... care... about you.”

That was enough of a confession for you. He liked you back. You nodded, leaning in and connecting your lips for only a moment. He stared at you in shock, making you smile.

“Now you seriously better not die, ok?”

This gave me the happy. Gosh I simp for Nagito so hard ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

Thank you for coming to my TED talk,

—🐝

[pomegranates-and-blood]

νοσταλγία (Prologue)

(Gif credit to @honestsycrets​)

νοσταλγία Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader (eventual)

Summary: This is a retelling/romantization of the Greek myth of Persephone’s abduction with Ivar as Hades and you as Persephone. The Reader character is a Greek/Byzantine woman, follower of the Greek Pantheon/Religion, and a devoted follower of Persephone. This takes place after 5A, but the universe of this is a little changed in relation with the series, of course. Thank you for giving it a chance, hope you enjoy!

Word Count: Like 7k, I’m sorry

Warnings: As usual, mentions and descriptions of blood, death, torture, injury and people being burnt alive. Mentions or allusions to rape. If there’s anything else I didn’t mention, please let me know. Fair warning that the Reader Character may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but please give her a chance.

A/N: So, in this universe, bc fuck Michael Hirst, Sigurd is alive (tho Ivar did throw the axe) but married and away, Bjorn is still somewhere sunny, and Dublin was founded in Saxon land by Hvitty, Ivar and Ubbe, but it is the latter the one in control, prompting Ivar to eventually return to Kattegat and take the throne form Lagertha (she is alive just like in the show, only Bjorn is not here -I like to think he would understand his brothers wanting to avenge Aslaug?- and Floki departed bc he didn’t want to have to choose between supporting the kid he raised and an old friend), leaving him as King, Ubbe as ruler of Dublin, Hvitserk in Kattegat for now like in the show, Bjorn getting a tan in the Mediterranean, and Sigurd alive and happy cause goddammit killing him was a stupid choice. Sorry and btw this isn’t my creation, this is based on some exchanges I saw on reddit and a lil bit of me lol)

The warrior hesitates before letting you enter the tent, but you do so quietly and without a word, like it is expected out of you, and the men discussing war take no notice of you as you slip into a seat and watch them discuss.

Narses, still in the armor of a Byzantine Strategus despite his back having been turned to the Empire for a long time, turns to look at you as you enter. He doesn’t say a word, but in his green eyes there’s a plea for you not to speak, one that you must obey with gritted teeth and bitten tongue.

He understands, and there’s relief in Narses’ eyes.

Your friend. Your confidante.

Your fool.

His lips are pressed into a thin line, his hands supporting most of his weight as he leans on the war table.

“Our numbers are strong enough to hold until support from Strepshire arrives.” The Christian you recognize as Leofric -a bishop? Cleric? You have no idea anymore- speaks, his voice not much unlike the sound of the Byzantine soldiers’ armor plates rustling together as they march down the streets, burning idols and slaying the poor fools that believed the Gods would save them.

“If we retreat, we can-…” Narses argues, but is quickly interrupted.

“You belong to us!” Leofric barks, and you startle at the sudden aggression, “You have made a deal, Greeks. You must honor it.”

“I am aware. I am also aware you Saxons would sacrifice everything for your revenge.” Narses scoffs back, interrupting the Saxon and your train of thought at the same time.

“You want the same, boy. Is it not why you insist on gaining our support?” Stithulf, the leader, states, leaning back on his chair and resting his hands on the back of his head.

His posture screams of arrogance, his young age of a boy with too much power, his scars of a monster eager to fight.

You could use someone like him leading your army. You have seen too many of the so-called soldiers in your home bend the knee to a false Emperor. Maybe you need a monster on your side, someone with the same thirst for blood Greece left you with, someone willing and able to bring the Gods down from the very Olympus for retribution.

And as he leans back he catches sight of you, his expression tightens into a scowl, and you discard the remote possibility.

Not only is he a Christian, the same brand of men that burned your home, your mother, and years later you as well; but he looks upon you like all you are to do is be one of more of virginal maidens for his strange pantheon.

“What is the witch doing here?” He asks out loud, and you swallow down the words you want to say, but still holding his gaze.

“She is to be my wife, I trust her advice.” Narses sentences, sending you a glance that you return with a grateful one of your own.

“I didn’t know you Greeks were ruled over by your women.”

“Greek women are the only ones to birth real men.” You quip before you can stop yourself, reminded with the bittersweet feeling of nostalgia of when your father told you those exact words.

“Is that what your Goddess tells you, Heathen?”

Even the cadence of Leofric’s voice is enough to get you to twist your lip as you turn your gaze to him, but he remains stoic, a quiet sort of anger bubbling behind his eyes. You could swear a small smile tugs at his lips, as if he truly believes a simple word is enough to silence you.

The loud interruption of Narses’ fists colliding with the table stops his mocking, and the man’s eyes shift to his Byzantine ally within a moment.

“Do not call her that.”

“It is not an insu-…” You start, but your friend turns to you once again, begging you in silence to keep quiet. Biting down a sigh, you lean back in your chair and return your eyes to the map.

A long way from home, setting tents alongside Christians, and shutting your mouth because a man told you to. For all the visions and counsel the Gods have sent you through the years, a word of what was to become of your integrity would have been appreciated.

The sound of the curtains of the tent flapping open and closed makes you lift your gaze from the map, and you see Stithulf’s retrieving back.

Narses sighs, not looking at you when he concedes, both to inform you and the rest of the Saxons and Arab mercenaries in the room,

“We will hold.”

A cold hand grips your heart and the names of the Goddesses you seek for guidance and comfort are at the tip of your tongue, shaped by your lips but never spoken.

The Christians leave you two alone, and you walk to the soldier hunched over the war table. Your native Greek feels like a soft song evoking nostalgia as it dances past your lips:

“You cannot…”

“Please, my love.”

Anger bubbles within you, and you stand up straighter as you meet his eyes, “Narses, the Varangians will overpower us, you know we lost too many already, the support from Ivar the Boneless’ incoming army will crush us, you know h-…”

“This is a matter of war, love, let me handle it.” Narses interrupts, to which you frown.

“I know of war Narses! And I know this is a foolish move!”

“Do you know how to lift a sword?” He retorts, a challenge in his voice that does not go unnoticed.

“I…” You clench your teeth, looking up at him with narrowed eyes. “I do not need to fight to…”

He laughs bitterly, interrupting you, “Are you hearing your own words?”

“Are you hearing yours? The Varangian King has a crown made of bones and blood, Narses, don’t be foolish. Athena rejoices when he wages war, his army carries her favor.” You spit out your words, trying to make him understand. Narses remains impassive, though, eyes on the map and jaw clenched tight.

“You cannot argue of battle if you have never-…”

You interrupt him with a scoff, pointing an accusing finger at him even when he doesn’t meet your eyes, “I do not need to know how to kill to know the Varangians will swallow you whole. And you’ll drag our people with you.”

At your last words, his head snaps up, eyes facing yours with ferocity and more than old anger, “What choice do I have, huh? We will freeze or starve come winter, we need to move for Eleusis soon!”

“Our people…” You start, but he interrupts you again.

“Our people chose to follow me, and they will.”

“They followed me, they believe in me,” You correct without hesitation, teeth bared, “You followed me, Narses, and I let you, because you promised me an army.”

For a second he hesitates, takes you in with what seem to be new eyes. He seems to have forgotten there’s more than a meek priestess to the woman he followed from Attica. He seems to forget the bloodied hands and hungry smile that greeted him when you gave him the choice to be at your side.

“And I followed you because I love you, because I believe in you!” He exclaims, making shame and regret churn at your insides. You deviate your eyes from his, gritting your teeth.

“I begged you not to force our people to fight against these Norsemen, and you didn’t listen,” You grit out after a few breaths, anger returning to your voice, “Where was your love, your trust, when you chose to ally with these…Christians?”

He takes one of your hands in his, and the touch feels cold.

“You must trust me with this,” He intreats, warm eyes looking for something in your own you don’t think he can find. “Can you trust me?” A small pause, and you taste your own regrets in your mouth, “Love me?”

You press your lips into a line, and because you cannot say anything else, because the lie has gone on for too long and you might as well offer a truth before you entreat your soul to Hades, you whisper,

“Once, I could have.”

But he shakes his head, fervent and certain as he finds your eyes again,

“I promised you Attica, and it will be yours.”

But his words are empty. You do not care for that kingdom if the people that you love are not alive and prospering in it.

“Pray to the Gods you are killed by the Varangians, old friend. I will sacrifice you to Hades myself if you dare return alive from the place you are condemning my people to die on.” You sentence, unable to keep from showing the curl of disgust in your lip, the ancient pain in your eyes.

Narses walks closer to you, eyes searching yours and hands on your shoulders. You clench your jaw. He is gentle, he always is. Gentle, but so were the men that held you as their brothers in arms dragged your mother out of that temple.

You take a step back, but Narses speaks still, ignoring your discomfort,

“These Christians care not for their God, they just want Ivar the Boneless and his brothers. We give them to Stithulf, and they will march for Eleusis with us.”

You shake your head as you watch him believe his own lies.

“Even if we succeed, you are exchanging one master for another, Narses.” The words are your farewell as you turn your back to him and walk towards the entrance of the tent.

____

You walk into your tent and are greeted with a language these Saxons want to have you killed for speaking. The tongue of savages, of barbarians, of Vikings.

“Did they threaten to burn you yet?” Sieghild asks, and you can hear the smile in her voice even if her back is turned to you as she tends to the fire.

“Narses and Stithulf command us to remain,” You confess instead, voice breaking, “Kattegat’s army will be here in a day’s time to aid Dublin’s, but we will not retreat.”

The gasp she lets out forces you to shut your eyes tight in hope of keeping the tears at bay.

You both remain silent for a few instants, and you let yourself fall to the log she brought as a seat. Taking a seat next to you, she places a motherly hand on your knee, squeezing lightly until you look back up at her.

Blueish ink traces ancient marks on the skin of her face, and she moves a lock of your hair away from your face, the rattling sounds of her bracelets and trinkets reaching your ears and filling you with a sense of nostalgia you have difficulty explaining.

“If we must, we will die. Resisting, like your mother and I taught you.”

“This is not the war I will die fighting on!” You yell back, closing your hands into fists as they start shaking. “I will not see my people die fighting a cause not their own, Sieghild. I can’t.”

She takes your head in her hands gently, and, pressing cold lips to your forehead, she gives you the comfort only a mother can.

“Even if we die tomorrow, the Gods are with us. They have been close to you since your birth. You will understand soon.”

“I will certainly see Hades soon.” You smile bitterly, but Sieghild doesn’t falter.

“Then challenge his throne.” She states, and the feral, hungry, look in her eyes makes you think she is not speaking of your God.

You do not even believe in the same Gods, and yet Sieghild remains at your side, you at hers, since she found a crying child clutching a wooden carving of Persephone.

“They want me to give them up, but I won’t.” You argue stubbornly, as the red-haired woman cleans your face with a warm wet cloth. She smiles.

“Arguing about Gods is a matter for adults, little one,” She silences your next argument with a single finger, inked and painted like her face and arms. “They cannot make you believe in their God.”

“But…Mother’s altar, th-they…”

“Those are merely worldly things. The Christians fight with fire what Logi and Glöð themselves have created.”

“Who?”

She chuckles, fingers going through your hair and places a finger on your chest.

“Your faith, your legacy, remain here.”

And at dawn, when the men sound the horns and ready for a battle they must know will be lost, you whisper a prayer to Athena and Enyo, your heart griped tight by the cruel mistresses of Fate.

Even all the tales travelers and mercenaries told you about the army of Kattegat, the sheer strength, the flawless tactics, the barbarian-like warriors; none of that prepared you for the display of forces, however small considering his actual army, Ivar the Boneless has displayed before you.

You catch a glimpse of Narses and Stithulf approaching the King, you hear faintly of the Viking’s taunts.

“Narses is a fool.” You bite out, anger poisoning your voice even as tears clogging your throat make the words wobble.

“A Byzantine Strategus doesn’t fall without a fight, girl. Do not grant my countrymen their victory just yet.”

Even if you hide it as you lower your face, a surge of pride for the foolish warrior that followed you to the ends of the world makes a small smile blossom in your face.

“Do I hear you admitting us soft citizens stand a chance against your brutes, mother?” You mock with a smile, even as you discuss the imminent danger that the Norse men represent to you and your people. Maybe it’s because of the way Sieghild, with all her harshness and tough lessons, comforts you even facing death itself. Maybe it’s the Gods that have guided you your whole life embracing you as you near your descent to Hades.

She laughs, raspy and warm, as always. “I’m saying your boy may give the sons of Ragnar an entertainment.”

A crow flies overhead, cawing loudly and taking your gaze away from the soldiers ahead and into the sky. Something within you, something primal and asleep seems to follow its path in the skies with more than just your eyes.

“Odin is watching. History will be made today.” Sieghild whispers behind you, but you cannot take your gaze away from the black feathers as you answer.

“Apollo sends us an omen. The Gods do not favor us.”

She laughs quietly, shaking her head as she rests a heavy hand on your shoulder

“Your Goddess surely revels in this, dear. The spilled blood of those who will be to arrive at her kingdom waters her flowers, after all."

Flashes of a life before chaos blossom behind your closed eyes, images of a life under the spring sun, of fertility festivals and your mother’s warm laughter as she honors the Daughter of Nature.

And for a second, with the warmth of nostalgia encompassing you, you want to argue that Persephone looks after life; but when your eyes open and all you see is war and cold, you realize maybe she wasn’t the one captured.

Maybe she was not a stolen maiden, but a bloodthirsty usurper.

“May she rejoice, then, and be merciful when we reach her Kingdom.” You whisper.

The war cries reach your ears before you can even see the warriors attack, but soon chaos follows the chariot, that marches not with the set pace of Apollo’s, but free and leaving chaos and death at its wake.

With a heavy weight on your stomach, you hold your place as the battle begins, the injured and dying falling back to the area you look after with Greek soldiers at your back, granting a safe haven for the fallen, either to give them another chance to fight or a merciful end.

_____

It’s been days and the Saxons still push for victory, despite the losses. And, despite their losses and bloodshed, the Vikings push ruthlessly for death.

The camp of healers you have set by the entrance of the woods is so filled with the stench of blood and death that you fear you will never be able to smell a flower again. The warriors come and go, the drachmas in their eyes or in their hands. Your heart dies a little with every familiar face you send off to Hades.

You are working on pressing down with the poultice of herbs to stop a soldier from bleeding from the wound on his back when you hear, past the yells and death and fighting, your name.

You would know that voice anywhere, and you leave the safety of the healing camp to follow the hoarse call.

Narses’ figure stumbles and crawls as he tries reaching you, and, not caring for battle, you run the space separating you. Your knees dig painfully into the earth as you kneel at his side, but the pain in your heart drowns it all.

“No, no, no,” You sob, shaking fingers tracing his bloodied cheeks as he gasps in pain in your arms. His eyes are focused on you, and you cannot deny him the answer of yours, even if battle still goes on around you. With another broken gasp, you whisper, “You fool, you fool.”

Galla calls your name from somewhere at your side, and you turn blind attention to her, murmuring to have people take him to the healers’ tent. She agrees, and you start to pull away from your childhood friend.

Narses opens his mouth to speak, but only blood pours out. You silence him with trembling fingers against his lips, granting the kiss you cannot. Your heart begs you to do something, anything, to keep him alive, to take away his pain, to…to…

But all you do is remain kneeling on the ground, and you cannot take your eyes off his shield. Splattered with blood and mud, left behind a few feet away from you, on the cold and unrelenting earth.

Your mother’s last words to your father, you remember them as if it were yesterday, as if you could still see the warmth in her gaze, the hardened adoration in his. Her delicate hands offering him the shield with Sparta’s symbol on it as he prepared to storm Macedonia, her words a murmur that meant come back to us, my love even when her sentence was other.

Return home with it, or on it.

With it, or on it. With it, or on it. With it, or on it.

But Narses never returned home, none of you ever did. He never returned home, he didn’t die for your home, he died for…for…

You hear hurried footsteps coming towards you, the feeling of having Varangian eyes on you makes you turn just in time to see the warrior approaching. You grab Narses’ shield from the ground, moving as fast as you can to guard your back and block the Viking’s strike with the metal shield.

It is sheer anger and grief, nothing more than the desire to hurt back, that pushes you to take an arrow from the quiver at your back and drive it through the warrior’s knee with your bloodied hand.

He falters, stumbling away from you, but you don’t let go, holding on tightly to the shaft of the arrow and inflicting as much pain as you can. When he finally hits the ground with his back, you crawl over him, sitting on his stomach and bashing his face with the shield.

With your weight upon him, his axe cannot find a home in your skin and instead meets the shield. Over and over, metal meets metal. With a growl, the Viking lets go of it and grabs your hair, pulling roughly and forcing your blows in his face to stop.

You let go of the shield, and your eyes focus on the skies above for a moment before you find the strength to fight.

A yell leaves your lips, and your hungry teeth find the tender skin at the inside of his arm, forcing him to let go of your hair. Blood fills your mouth and almost makes you gag. You spit the flesh from your mouth and with a snarl you drive another arrow through his eye.

He screams as your whole weight leans on the arrow, making sure the projectile you use as a spear kills fast. Your hands keep slipping from the shaft as the blood you have tried to keep from spilling and the blood you have spilled wets your hands.

When he finally stops moving, you know you should feel nothing but emptiness and dread.

Looking with frantic eyes for Narses and Galla, you find him being carried by two of his soldiers back to the tent. You should follow, but you cannot bring yourself to do so.

You look down at your dress. Red, the color of a bride’s veil, stained with the blood of the man you just killed. Your ears ring, your eyes cloud with tears as you realize what you have done, and you scurry away from the corpse as if your breath cannot get into your chest because of your proximity to him…to it.

You know what you should feel, you know what a Priestess, a woman, ought to feel at the sight of death, you know. But dread and horror are not the only things you feel. A part of you is satiated, like a snake curling satisfied and vindicated after injecting its poison; you taste the blood and feel alive.

When you lift your gaze to the battle again, you catch the eyes of the Varangian King. You know who he is, you have heard the tales and even without the chariot he sits on you would still recognize the eyes of the man that rules over Kattegat.

Ivar the Boneless.

He looks at you for a few moments, and you fear he is to call for his men or kill you himself, but he doesn’t. A slow, cruel, ruthless smile starts curving at his bloodthirsty lips, and when he regards you, you feel he can see through your eyes and into whatever it is that made you kill that man.

He lifts his arm not on the reins, bloodied axe held in his hand and slowly, with the same terrifying grin still on his lips, the King points towards you and grants you a curt bow of his head. If it’s a recognition of your kill, a promise to kill you himself, or something else, you cannot know.

You scurry back to the woods, fearing an axe to your back that never comes.

____

Whatever advantage the Christians were so sure to have quickly dissolves like mist, and within days the Vikings push forward with no regard for the lines your people or your unwanted masters wanted to protect.

There’s three injured men under your care when you hear the warning that a group of enemies is coming your way. A quick glance towards Galla, the childhood friend that followed you from Eleusis into this cold hell lets her know what to do.

Her dark eyes fill with understanding before you can even utter a word.

“Lift them up, we are retreating.” She barks at the other soldiers, bow held tightly in her hand betraying her fear, her pain. The men accompanying her hesitate, looking at you for a second before turning to her.

“I may not be able to fight like a Strategus, but I can distract them enough for you to run.”

“Our people…” One of them starts, but you interrupt with a shake of your head, reaching forward with a courage you do not believe to truly possess and take his sword from its holster.

“Our people live on in you,” You promise, and even as your voice wavers you still try not to show how fear grips at your throat or how unbalanced you are with the new weight in your hands. Galla’s eyes lock with yours, and you give her a nod, “Go.”

I pray you find Sieghild on your way out of this slaughter.

“You better make it out alive.” She threatens in good will, and you find yourself smiling. Just before she is to take off with the others, you call out.

“Galla,” You hesitate, feeling like asking to deploy this would be an acceptance of your death. Still, you take a deep breath and say, “Once the dust settles, send some of your people to Thebes, Constantinople and Sparta.”

“What for?” She asks, but in her tone you can hear she understands your words: she is to protect your people, she is to lead them. Because you will not be alive to do so.

“You’ll need spies. When the time comes, you’ll know what to do with them.” You sentence, and after a moment of hesitation you hear the girl’s footsteps fading behind you.

Galla’s hoarse yells in Greek to call your people to retreat become the rhythm at which you let loose arrows to find the Viking warriors. You tell yourself it’s just like hunting deer, you tell yourself it is not men and women you kill. Brothers, sisters, friends, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters.

You tell yourself it is just like hunting, but the tears clogging at your throat and making pain and rage accompany your moves as you let the arrows loose show you that you don’t believe your own lies.

It doesn’t matter how fast you move, how efficient your shots are, there will always be more of them. And you know this, and fear has a cold grip on your heart, even as you continue trying to take out any straggler that chases after the retreating Greeks.

So, the bodies dropping and the injured yells bring the attention to you, and you buy Galla and the others as much time as you have arrows and legs to run on.

Running helps when the Vikings can be distracted by something else, but after you took down some of his countrymen, this warrior seems to only have eyes for you. You scramble to lift the sword you took from your warrior before they took off, and, cornered as you are, you are forced to face the offending Viking.

The Viking strikes first, but you block his attack with the sword. The blunt force of his swing makes it so that the axe stops just shy of the intended blow to your head, opening a deep cut on your forehead as it is slowed by the sword.

Wincing past the pain you hold your ground, facing the hungry gaze of the warrior with your own, although you are forced to close one of your eyes as the blood from the cut in your forehead starts dripping down your face.

The man’s attack has failed, but he smirks, though, before wrenching the weapon from your hands with a twist of his axe.

You can do nothing but stumble back, you Goddess’ name on your lips as you face him with wide eyes.

He mutters something in his own language before discarding your sword and moving to strike again. This time you are defenseless, and can only step back and try and dodge his continuous blows with increasing panic.

Blood, probably his own and his enemy’s, stains his mouth, his face, his hands. He still smiles, and you wonder if bloodthirst becomes more literal than what Sieghild explained in her tales of her people.

His movements stop suddenly, though, and he falls limply to the ground, a small axe protruding from the back of his head.

“I told you you’d need to know how to fight, little one,” Sieghild boasts as she approaches you. The axe leaving the dead man’s skull makes a horrible sound, but she’s not bothered by it, choosing instead to say, “Even you Greeks must see the advantage of fighting like a Viking.”

An arrow in his knee, you feel the iron piercing the muscle, the bone, the tendons. The edge of the shield breaking the bones in his face, the sound it makes. Screams of pain, that you silence with another arrow in the eye.

The King’s hungry smile when he spared you.

You shake your head, returning your thoughts back to the moment, and regard the woman in front of you with a smile.

“Galla told me you chose to stay behind.” She states, and years knowing her let you know of the reprimand shining past the gruff tone. Her hand, bloodied as it is, reaches for the cut in your forehead, inspecting it with the eyes of someone that saw countless wounds and fought in countless wars.

“I wanted to distract the warriors from the path they took.” You offer in explanation.

“For someone so…small you sure take a lot of risks, my child.” She sighs. You’re about to answer when the thrumming of the ground underneath your feet stops you. Sieghild’s movements stop, your breath dies in your lungs.

Bees swarming. You remember an Arab merchant telling you about Varangian armies, and he spoke of chaos and deadliness and bloodthirst. And as you watch the Varangians flank the battlefield, archers at the ready, warriors beating their shields, while the King that crossed the sea to assist his brother commands them to hold with a single gesture; you cannot help but think why didn’t the merchant talk about the grace of it all, the beauty in the blood.

“That boy carries his father’s cleverness with him. And his mother’s favor.” Sieghild mutters in the strange calm that settles as Ivar the Boneless and his brothers taunt Stithulf, dare him to continue the fight and face certain death or retreat.

“You knew that before.”

“So did you. You tried to warn Narses against facing him, little one.” She says, and the name makes a pit of guilt and grief form in your heart.

“Maybe my warnings are the reason he is dead now.” You bite out, voice quivering and eyes burning.

The shieldmaiden turns to you, lips parted and eyes wide. You offer her a nod and a tight-lipped smile, a small sign that it is okay, that…that it is Fate.

You promised Narses you’d kill him yourself for sending your people to die, and grief and pain do not stray you from that resolve. He sentenced your people to die at the hands of these Varangians, it is only right he leads them to the Underworld.

It doesn’t help the pit of pain and absence and fear and cold that forms at your chest, but…but it makes it easier to burden.

Murmured words in Norse startle you out of your thoughts, and you find Sieghild’s eyes still on you, expression still stunned and in a mix of awe and terror.

“When the last of the chains of nostalgia fades away even as she clutches it in her arms.”

“What did you say, mother?” You ask, taking a small step closer and looking into her eyes searching for any answer.

But the shieldmaiden is quick to put on a smile on her face,

“You told me before you had no interest in what Lady Freyja has to tell me, little one.” She mocks, but there’s a shadow in her expression, a strange darkness looming behind her eyes.

A familiar one.

“You are the one that taught me-…”

“I taught you to be your own woman!” The Varangian roars, and for the first time you realize exactly the kind of fire the women from her homeland have, that made them capable and free. “I taught my daughter better than this!”

“What choice do I have? We need the support from Narses’ army, we need someone to lead the men into battle the way I know will grant us victory!”

Two long strides, and the tall and imposing shieldmaiden is standing before you, a mix of reluctant softness and angry stoicism in her inked face.

“You fight. You fight against the notions these men have about you, you fight against that boy that only listens to what you have to say when you promise him love in exchange,” Her green eyes burn into yours, “You fight, little one. That’s what I taught you to do, what you were born to do.”

“Narses is a good man, mother. I will not fight him.” You reply, as calmly as you can even as your chest caves under a strange pressure, as evenly as you can even if the words leaving your lips taste like lies.

“You wouldn’t give your love without a fight though, minn dóttir.” Her hand grasps at your chin, and there’s a strange storm in her gaze, “I won’t lose my daughter to that boy’s whims.”

“I am not lost to any man.”

Her lips curve into a smile, a little savage, a little Viking.

“I know. You are my daughter, after all.”

“He was a good man, mother.” You offer quietly, and even if the binds to Narses, the binds you set on yourself and your mother hated the most, are gone, there’s still the same dark desperation, that same stubbornness you saw in her eyes that day you told her about your choice to marry him.

“Not good enough,” Is all she replies, and her eyes focus somewhere past the two of you, on the center of the battlefield where everything seems to have stopped. Sieghild sighs, “And your Gods and mine know that, little one. Your Mistress may have touched your soul, but Freyja lays claim to your heart.”

With your eyes on the thick of battle, you watch Stithulf and his trusted men lay down their weapons, and slowly retreat. You have been defeated.

____

“I told you only death would follow,” You say, your back against the foot of a table as you sit on the cold ground, your bloodied hands in your lap, motionless. You allow yourself a small laugh, manic and broken as it is, “You fought for so long, sacrificed so much, and you couldn’t even make the Varangian King bleed.”

You followed the Saxons back to their decadent city, and now sit past their walls awaiting the death that will follow. The city may have held for long enough that the Saxons could secure an escape, back when your people were with them and they didn’t have more corpses than soldiers.

But now, now it is just a matter of time before the Varangians return to finish it all.

Stithulf turns to you, cold fury shining past his gaze, but you hold his stare. The man walks over to you, armor rustling and making a sound that rings in the ears that have heard nothing but war for so long now.

He bends down to be at your level, face close to yours and lips set on a snarl.

“You ordered your people to pull back.” He accuses, but you shrug in response.

The pretense of what a good little fucking woman you ought to be to make these fools content with their idea of supremacy is long gone from your mind. You will die without masks, and if it means earning a few deserved hits from these Saxons for not shutting your mouth, then so be it.

“It was never our war, Christian.”

“Where have they gone to!?” He asks, ignoring your words. His fascination with how the Greek forces work shines through his bloodthirst and anger as he regards you. You know the reason why he went to Narses for an allegiance in the first place is because of the tactics, the fighting style, of your people; and you know he longed to make them a part of his own army.

But you will leave your own under the boot of a Christian the day Persephone calls for your soul to become one of her Furies.

“You will never find them.” You promise through a tired and battle-worn smile, morbidly delighting yourself in the way he seems to grow more enraged.

“How are you so certain?”

“The Varangians, Vikings, will find us first. They will kill us all, and you know this.” You sentence, standing up. You cannot help it when your eyes fixate themselves on the drying blood staining your hands.

You wish you could say most of it was Christian, or even Varangian.

But no, the blood of Greeks stains your hands. The blood of thousands, even if only less than eight hundred died today.

“And why are you so certain?”

“If you had retreated before that King came from across the sea-…”

“Narses told us your mother is Viking, how are we certain you did not plan this, plan to betray us?” One of his trusted men speaks out, limping from his place by the war table. You watch the deep and bloodied gash in his thigh, wondering why that old man survives being incapacitated while in battle but Narses is to fall.

You shake your head mutely before offering him a hollow chuckle.

“Me betraying you would imply I ever faked loyalty for you, or pretended to care for your survival.”

“You live, witch. Any sane man would question why.”

“You think…what? That I have helped any of the sons of Ragnar defeat you?” You let out a small laugh. “No, I did not. I will not let you blame me for your own weakness.”

You move to leave the tent, but Stithulf’s hand wraps around your arm. His voice is low when he speaks.

“If you tell your soldiers to fight with us, I can-…”

“I am not Narses, you cannot fool me with empty promises,” You interrupt, wrenching your arm from his grasp. Less than two hundred Greek warriors still remain in this city, and the Saxon wants still for every last drop of their blood. “The Greeks that remain here will not die quietly, but do not fool yourself into thinking you can ever command them.”

He stalks even closer, looming over you with enraged factions, and you cannot help the pang of fear that the murderous intent in his eyes sends through you.

His sword leaving its holster startles the room of men into silence, and you feel their attention set on the two of you. The blade finds a home right under your chin, piercing mildly at the soft skin.

Your breath quickens in fear, and when you swallow past your dry throat you feel the tip of the sword inflicting sharp pain in your neck.

Stithulf smiles darkly, “I could kill you now and leave them leaderless, heathen.”

But you refuse to let him see the fear in your eyes, instead promising, “Make me a martyr and you will not survive the night, Christian. The Greeks will kill and die for me.”

Even as you leave the tent behind, you hear the heavy footsteps of the Saxon behind you. A call of your name, and you stop. Not your title -Anassa, Hiereiai-, not an insult -heathen, pagan-, not your lineage -Daughter of Athens, Daughter of Sparta-. Your name.

“If you wanted to kill me you would have done so in front of your men.” You state without turning around, and the Christian reaches your side with his sword holstered.

“I don’t want to kill you,” He insists, shaking his head, “But I should do it regardless. You are a smart woman, which makes you dangerous.”

Not even a muzzle would keep your next words from leaving your lips, “Dangerous? Is a man dangerous for being knowledgeable?”

“If he has nothing to lose, like you, yes.”

“What are you saying, Stithulf?”

The Saxon sighs, an act of regret and humanity you don’t believe for a moment.

“I’m saying you should know that you have forced my hand, Greek, that I had every intention to have you wage war alongside us, had you chosen to do so.

_____

Hi, I’m kinda amazed you got this far down lol, but thank you so much for reading! This is one of the first projects in a while that I am really loving to write, and I hope you like it!

Please let me know what you think, I am one needy fuck when it comes to feedback :)

[legoshi-plz]

Cynic (Legoshi x Reader)

Legoshi x Canine! Reader

Warning: NSFW (+18), minor mention of Rape/ Sexual Assault

Summary: Maybe you and a certain Grey Wolf are more alike than you thought.

A/N: So I decided to change up these requests just a little so that I could combine them ! I hope you guys like it! These started off as Headcanons but i got a little carried away lol also Characters are all over 18 in this fic

/////////////

You weren’t exactly what people would call a ‘happy’ animal.

Okay that was an understatement, you could be downright depressing at times. It’s not like you actually meant to be such a downer, you just considered yourself a realist and being a Carnivore in today’s society was the farthest thing from a ‘happy’ existence.

People profiled Carnivores wherever they went, always quick to see your kind as natural aggressors and when they weren’t clutching their purses ready to call animal control on you all for just being alive, they were quick to go over the top to prove they saw “all animals equally”, which usually was just a ploy for ‘progressive points’.

Being a Domesticated Dog, you recognized your privilege was a double edged sword in one of the worst ways possible. You had Herbivores constantly in your face telling you “You’re one of the good ones” while other Carnivores mostly saw dogs as ‘sellouts’ who were willing to whore themselves out (socially and in... other ways) for even the slightest scrap of attention. It was infuriating just living in such a society and you constantly felt on the verge of snapping but if you did, you’d just prove to be everything they already thought you were.

So needless to say, you kept to yourself. You just couldn’t bring yourself to put on the false pretense of cheerfulness that domesticated animals were expected to uphold so you tried to keep to yourself. No one understood you nor did they try. They were too caught up in their own charades and you were beyond the point of explaining how screwed up this world was. They knew, they didn’t care.

You were convinced you would spend your entire high school career in the shadows, not making an impression (good or bad) on anyone or anything and for a while it seemed that way. Until your final year.

For the most part, keeping to yourself gave you a lot of time to observe others, rarely were you the one technically being ‘observed’. Which is why you couldn’t understand why a certain Grey Wolf couldn’t keep his eyes off you.

He was painfully obvious, his awkward attempts to hide his little obsession whenever his eyes met yours was almost comical.

You chalked it all up to him probably being another sick fuck with a fetish for submissive animals. It was more common than most people like to address and Domesticated female dogs were the leading demographic of rape/ sexual assault victims from wolves. It was mainly the close proximity of their biology that made it so hard for wolves to control themselves (if you could say they had any control to begin with.) They preyed on smaller dogs because in comparison to them it was the closest they could get to defiling a Herbivore without the internalized shame and disgust. Also female Carnivores were often not believed when it came to these crimes because they were perceived as stronger/ more aggressive and should have been able to defend themselves. Yet another flaw in this fucked up animal judicial system.

You decided to ignore the Wolf and hope he just moved on. There weren’t many dogs at Cherryton but there were a few others who would probably be more than happy to tame the beast that lie within him. Or between his legs.

But weeks turned into months and his interest in you failed to cease. You decided to confront him. You decided to do so after class once the rest of the class filed out. He usually drug his feet so it wouldn’t be hard to catch him. Best case scenario, he was embarrassed about getting caught and promised to stop. Worst case scenario, he can’t control himself and takes you right then and there. You were apathetic either way, there were worst things out there than fucking a Wolf right?

You approached his desk as he was scrambling to shove his things into his shoulder bag, the rest of the class had long filed out by now.

“H-Hi,” he said looking up at you, his ears tilted downwards.

“You got a problem with me or something?” You can tell by the way his ears tugged down even further that your voice came off a little harsh but that was just the way you were.

“W-Why would I have a problem with you, YLN-san?” He was avoiding your cold stare. He was a Grey Wolf for crying out loud, what was wrong with him? Wolves were a lot of things but skittish wasn’t one of them.

“Drop the formalities. You stare me down day in and day out but now you’re afraid to look me in the eye? What are you playing at?” Okay maybe you did sound a little harsh but you didn’t believe in skipping around the topic.

“I just... noticed we were kind of... the same, y’know....” he grimaced. You left out a dry laugh. He knew nothing about you but he thought the two of you were the same? This definitely had to be some sort of ploy. He wanted something from you and sooner or later you’d find out what that something was.

But that later never came. He began to explain himself, explain how he was pretty bleak too and that he couldn’t help but notice that someone else seemed just as paused in life as he was. At first you thought he was just churning out bullshit but the more you sat and listened to him, the more you hung around him, you began to see the undeniable similarities between you two.

He would express the struggles he faced with his own existence as a Wolf, how he felt like he could never truly be himself, or even know what being himself actually meant because he was so busy trying to make people unafraid of him. It was like you had met your other half. He understood what had been gnawing at you from inside for years now because he was going through the exact same thing. And so the two of you became fast friends, nearly inseparable from one another.

You tried to deny it but you were slowly becoming more and more infatuated with the Grey Wolf every day. Legoshi was so kind and reserved at times but you found those traits all the more endearing. He showed such vast wisdom and maturity despite his own social awkwardness and you found yourself overwhelmingly comfortable in his presence. Comfortable and safe, his naturally huge physique and protective instincts which should give you every right to fear him actually proving to do just the opposite.

Speaking of Physique, you had to admit that Legoshi was undeniably attractive. Tall, beautiful coat, all lean muscle, a thick healthy tail you had found yourself drooling over near-constantly. He was any Canine’s kryptonite and you couldn’t believe you hadn’t noticed it before now. Maybe it was just because you were so enamoured by his mind that your attraction to him physically was inevitable. Either way, you found yourself daydreaming about mounting him more times than you’d like to admit.

You thought that perhaps what you felt for Legoshi might be mutual until you found out he used to date a tiny Herbivore . And not just any Herbivore, a rabbit. The daintiest of them all. So he was just another sick psychopath with a fixation on innocence. You were heartbroken to say the least. What probably hurt the most was that you were no where near his type if Rabbits were his thing. You never stood a chance. But then again that wasn’t a surprise. You were nothing special prior to meeting Legoshi so why would yo expect anything to be different now.

That being said, it didn’t make you want Legoshi any less physically. You might not be his ideal mate but you knew there was still a part of him in there that had a desire for sexual release, a desire that Canine felt especially compelled to with other Canine, and you were going to capitalize off of that.

You found him in his usual spot in the art department after dark. He was always the last to leave.

“Y/N! Where’ve you been? H-have you been avoiding me?” He asked his tail tucked between his legs. You hadn’t seen him in about four days and giving the nearly inseparable friendship the two of you had over the past few months, it was out of character.

“I was,” you said bluntly. His ears lowered immediately.

“O-oh... did I do something wrong?”

“Yes,”

“... what was-”

“You fuck rabbits, Legoshi.” You saw his fur visibly stand on end and his eyes turn wide as saucers.

“Y/N I-”

“Look I’m just gonna cut to the chase,” you deadpanned, stepping forward, “I wanna have sex with you.”

“You WHAT?!”

“I’m attracted to you Legoshi. I might not be your type but I am small and I can make you feel good.” You didn’t wait for his response as you dropped to you knees in front of him.

“Y/N wait please,” he was tense all over but you were already unbuckling his belt and unzipping his trousers. Surprisingly, he went commando.

You pulled him out of his pants to see his knot was already beginning to swell at your touch and he was painfully hard. You licked your hand and began to stroke his impressive length. Guess it was true what they say, the thicker the tail, the thicker the-

“Y/N please just give me a second!” Legoshi asked cupping your face between both his large hands. You craned your neck up to meet his gaze but continued to pump his aching cock.

“Just relax, Legoshi. It’s okay if you have to pretend I’m a rabbit, I don’t really care. I know I’m not much to look at anyway,” you said, wrapping your mouth around his angry tip that was currently streaming out pre-cum. You moaned at the flavor as Legoshi shuddered above you.

“Y/N please stop, this can’t happen like this, okay.” He said slightly more forcefully as he pulled you off of him and began to tuck himself into his pants, his cock straining against the fabric defiantly creating an enormous bulge.

“Really? That unattracted to me, huh? Well, I guess it is what it is,” you said in your usually monotone voice while standing up and brushing off your skirt. You turned, about to make your exit when Legoshi grabbed your arm.

“Wait, Y/N, look I didn’t- it’s not that- I just-” Legoshi was flustered and looked as if he was ready to pass out at any moment.

“Spit it out, Wolf boy,” you said , trying to hide the fact that your feelings were pretty hurt.

“I just- I like you Y/N, really I do but-”

“You just don’t like me in that way. I heard you loud any clear. It’s whatever, Legoshi. Don’t stress it,” you said attempting to shrug out of his grip.

“Hold on, can we talk about this?!”

“There’s nothing to talk about, I wanted to have sex and you don’t.”

“I- I do w- of course I want to have sex with you, Y/N. I like you, a lot. You’re actually all I’ve been able to think about for a long time. But you’re so.... so.... indifferent towards even the slightest romantic implications, I didn’t think I had a shot in Hell...” he sighed.

“If you like me then why’d you stop me?” You asked evenly. You weren’t about to get your hopes up, that just wasn’t your style.

“Because I like you. If there’s even a chance you feel how I do then I wanna do this right. Ask you out properly, ask you to be my girlfriend, ask if I can kiss you, y’know the right steps before...”

“I suck your dick?” You offered, a small smirk playing at your lips. His still very much present hard-on twitched visibly at its mention.

“God, Y/N,” Legoshi groaned attempting to cover himself. You fought back the urge to giggle at his shyness despite the fact he was in your mouth less than two minutes ago.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I want to do it. Don’t you want me to?” You bit your lip in what you hoped was a seductive way.

“So fucking bad,” Legoshi groaned again unable to avert his eyes. You took this as an opportunity to step forward once more.

“Then why don’t we let this one slide, huh? And then we can do things your way?” You whispered palming him through his pants. He unconsciously began to grind lightly against your hand.

“Y/N, I’m in.... Male mode.... if we start, I might not be able to stop,” Legoshi voice was straining from trying to keep his own pleasure at bay. You dropped back down to your knees, once again pulling him out.

“Then don’t. Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to ride you, Legoshi? Let’s allow this one free-pass then you can start all the courting processes you want,” you said before taking him into your mouth. Legoshi felt his eyes roll back into his head as he thrust softly into your warm, wet throat.

“W-Wait, one more thing” he moaned, once again taking away what was quickly becoming your new favorite treat.

You were about to protest when he kneeled down to your level, again cupping your face in both his hands in order to place the sweetest kiss imaginable on your lips. He rested his forehead against yours for a moment, before pulling away to see you with the dopiest grin on your face.

Yeah, you were definitely going to be the death of him.