#no because her friend is literally so hot i wanna die. and she’s bi????!?!?!?!

[raccoonfallsharder]

recommended works ⊹˚₊⊹˚☕︎˚⊹₊˚⊹

these are the folks who have written or drawn something (specifically within the rocket raccoon fan community) that either murdered me, resurrected me, or both.

(i am always open to recs so if you wanna link me to your fave i will be so happy to check them out)

⊹˚₊⊹˚☕︎ fanfiction ☕︎˚⊹₊˚⊹

The All of You (ao3) i fuckin love this story so hard. i love the OC. i love the writing. i love the set up. i reread this probably every month or so and pine for more. it's so fuckin good. @lazarel-3000 is a double-threat (at least) who is also on my recced artist list, which means (obviously) they are a recced creator as well.

Casino Royale (ao3) this fic by @hibatasblog (see also: Entanglement, below) is so fucking delightful. petra quill is so hot i want to date her myself, and the tension between her and rocket is through the roof. loving the angst, loving the little ways that heartbreak seeps through every new paragraph, loving the mystery of trying to figure out what happened to petra and rocket to set them on their separate paths and now bring them back together. always waiting anxiously for the next chapter.

Entanglement (ao3) this fic by @hibataao3 has me rationing my consumption in a way i have not done in a long time. i'm like "i only read one chapter a week to pace myself, as a little treat for surviving another seven days." beautiful writing and intricate storytelling, the metaphors and analogies are so good i almost wish i was back in undergrad writing a thesis on it.

Friends (tumblr) @nyxivy is making their way through the rocketober 2023 prompts and the first fic of the series is. so drool-worthy. i've probably read it fifty times since it came out. short and so hot i could die (much like rocket himself), and somehow incredibly sweet in just the span of a few paragraphs? i will continue coming back to this fic and look forward to more from them at every chance i get.

Get Up (tumblr)@caesarhamato22 is another person on my recced creator list because trying to find just one fic to call my "favorite" is a challenge (obviously i was unsuccessful because there are two on this list). anyway this is lovely and fluffy. i die.

last (friday) night (ao3) nsfw. trying to pick a "favorite" of @aliasrocket's work is like trying to choose a favorite incarnation of rocket (i cannot). guess who is also on my recced creators list.

more than seven (tumblr) second @caesarhamato22 fic on this list and another recced creator. this one is one of my favorite comfort fics (i mean it's still sexy as hell) that i come back to very often. like it's just so wonderful and sweet and perfect and atmospheric and vibes

stars. (tumblr) ☕︎ stars. (ao3) sexual tension & some of the loveliest atmospheric writing i've ever consumed. another @aliasrocket fic that lives in my head.

A Very Basic Instinct (tumblr) ☕︎ A Very Basic Instinct (ao3) nsfw. when i tell you this fic did things to me. it is probably one of the fics i reread most. like, all the time jkjk only semiregularly. check out the author @elegant-fleuret for other equally brainrot-inducing smut (also mentioned in my recced creators).

⊹˚₊⊹˚☕︎ art ☕︎˚⊹₊˚⊹

@bathmob i wish. i could draw rocket. like this. the vibes are so good. the style. is perfect. i thank the universe whenever i see new art from them.

@glow-autumz is absolutely going to be a published comic artist some day and i will buy anything she works on ever. literally everything she creates has a story behind it, which i love. like, not only are her illustrations gorgeous (and like…often very hot) but every single one is (at least) a single-panel narrative. plus her OC is also cool as hell and i love her interpretations of rocket.

@lazarel-3000 creates the most toe-curlingly delicious art i've seen in a long time. i am seduced by pretty much everything they create. even their rough drafts have me panting. (i also have a crush on their OC and as a bi-lady i look at their art and am often like oh shit this is a fuckin feast). as mentioned before, this artist is also the author of one of my favorite fics and is a recommended creator in general.

@uglly-rodent posts always make me want to pinch the babby raccoom's cheeks and/or cry.

⊹˚₊⊹˚☕︎ creators ☕︎˚⊹₊˚⊹

@aliasrocket writes such beautiful things it is impossible to pick a favorite (i got two of their fics in the fic section and it was difficult to narrow it down that far and even now, i'm not certain). their tumblr has the added advantage of a ton of drabbles, every single one of which is perfection.

@caesarhamato22 read everything. like everything. great smut but i am a sucker for the slice of life shit and it's so fuckin good here. i just wanna be a nail tech on knowhere/locked in a closet with rocket/have him steal my t-shirt/whatever. it's like all my most domestic desires got turned into little fanfiction dreams. so much wish fulfillment i could die

@elegant-fleuret has great fanfiction (more than just the one on my fic list - i just felt like i had to narrow it down and A Very Basic Instinct literally gives me a a fresh hit of dopamine every time i reread it, which is a lot). plus also art. double-threat.

@evolvingchaoswitch writes with a ton of vulnerability and rawness and angst. i am also in love with the shorter pieces they've been putting out for rocketober 2023 (some really great poetry, some really emotional oneshots, some really hot oneshots). plus their OCs always fuckin rock

@lazarel-3000 look. look. i cannot say this enough. please go check them out they are hope in a hopeless place. some of the sexiest art + one of my very favorite fanfictions + one of my very favorite OCs have come out of this flawless individual. (full disclosure they also did some nsfw art of my OC jolie and rocket that has me crying and dying and hyperventilating on a daily basis)

@love-for-faeries-go-burrrr has another one of my favorite OCs and i am always hungry for their little storylines whenever they post.

@mrwolfhare is one of my favorite sources of gotg food-for-thought. just some of the most thoughtful explorations of the details of both the mcu and comic canon, excellent headcanons, beautiful screenshot sets, and really solid art. the drawtober art and ficlets have been highlights in my days this month and i'm told there may be a rad fanfiction on the horizon so keep your eyes on this! (rad fanfiction is here now! read Subject 880HR on ao3)

[loveandfictionforall]

Hey so this is the actual match-up request....I accidentally hit the copy and paste button on the other....sorry about that again but anyways may I please have a Walking dead and Twilight match-up? Tysm in advance and sorry again.....

Zodiac sign: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising Personality Type: ENTP Pronouns: She/her Sexuality: Straight (For now might be bi but i'm going with straight)

I'm 5'4 and I have a very tiny body frame so i'm extremely petite and pretty small. I'm not very curvy and I literally have the body of a cereal box...lol but its fine because I have nice hips and thighs. I have thick brown hair that goes down to my back and it gets tangled pretty easily but its kinda fluffy. I have brown eyes and tiny freckles all over my face and body. I also have a very strong grunge style, like Flannels, band t-shirts, combat boots, leather jackets etc. But i'd also always enjoy a nice oversized sweatshirt or hoodie with a pair of skinny, ripped jeans and some converses or something along those lines.

For my personality.....this is where things get interesting. At first people find me very intimidating due to my resting bitch face and cold exterior but I promise i'm not like that ALL the time. When you get to know me, i'm goofy and about everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcasm or some dry humored joke. I'm also that one friend in a group where they literally will do the stupidest shit ever like for an example one time it was super dark outside and my other friend was there, while I was trying to climb a tree and I failed and fell out of the tree, and landed on my back. I got straight up after that somehow it didn't hurt.....like at all? But yeah i'm super reckless and sometimes people have to save me from myself if you get what I mean. I also have a very strong "I don't give a fuck" attitude and I will not hesitate to stick up for myself or my friends....like i'm the type of person where if someone glares at me, i'll glare right back.

I have bad anxiety and I can be very self destructive. This is where my feisty, stubborn, hardheaded side comes in. If I want something then i'll fight for it even if it hurts me and i'll get into a bad cycle of putting myself down and trying to do better even if I did great the first time but I always push myself too far and other people have to stop me because I usually can't see it when its happening. I also cover my emotions up and I have a lot of trouble talking about whats bothering me or what problems i'm having emotionally so I put up a wall and I act tough, or happy and sometimes i'll be the exact opposite but I try to hide it.

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting.

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 9 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 80's and 90's rock but mainly 90's because 90's is the best, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Linkoln Park, Pearl jam but i'm pretty open to anything.

Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider.

Hi there!

I am glad, we found each other again, after all this time :D I read it and instantly thought of two people - so here they come:

I ship you with Daryl Dixson!

I just wanna say: Face palm. Always. He watches you and sees what you do and just face palms.

He ist legit done with you.

He does not understand how you have not died yet. But he still gives his best to ensure that you - in fact - don't die.

No, honestly, he loves you. You have character. A hard shell, just like him but behind that, you have so much personality and he feels honored to be at your side.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't want do push you off a building when you - again - fight with Rick about stupid things or when you attack Negan again. And again.

I also ship you with Emmett Cullen!

Do I even have to say something about it?

You two would be the chaos couple. The CC.

Emmett finds you absolutley funny and incredibly stunning. And it often leads from a silly prank against each other or against other family members to some 18+ stuff.

I don't even know that to add anymore, because you two are a perfect match. Absolutly funny, strange and living their best life even through all the ups and downs.

[fingertipsmp3]

My American friend who I’m visiting next month has apparently described me to her (very hot) friend as, and I quote, “a 6’1 English goddess”. Send help

[tundrainafrica]

You haven't read the manga?..... If you only read the cherry picked levihan moments then let me tell you (not sending this with ill intend btw) that for every small Levihan moment there's a big eruri one. Like that convo where he shuts hange out after it was said about her crush on shadis? Levi actually talks afterwards about how he wants Hange to take over the rots mission and for Erwin to stay tucked in safe.

When Hange was hurt during the uprising the moment he sees Erwin he's just nonchalant about? And yes she said she was okay and he was mad about her being hurt in the first place, but the looks he gives erwin not only this moment but throughout? Not really platonic tbh...

Or the falling debris scene where he seems distracted? Yes he's thinking about hange's safety but the worried look is at Erwin's direction on the wall.

And also in chuugaku, there's a chapter about Erwin and Levi's relationship, exposition provided by Hange herself, where it's pretty much implied that Levi has the hots for him (complete with a bottom levi joke). Like he's the only member of the "home-making" club headed by Erwin where he basically cleans and cooks for him while erwin reads his paper like they're a couple and they've put marks like: don't search eruri on tumblr/ao3 haha.

Point is while levihan is a ship that's MAYBE canon, there's a lot more concrete evidence for eruri. The only thing that throws it off is there's no discussion about Erwin's feelings nowhere that could be interpreted as romantic. And combine that with his crush for dok's wife back in the day maybe he wasn't into Levi the same way/ maybe bi, we'll never know.

But Levi legit was in love with him.

What strengthens levihan on the other hand is that hange is transparent about her feelings for Levi. And if you take the last chapters into consideration then levi could have reciprocated them. It wasnt framed as clear as his feelings for Erwin though imo.

I'm not against either ship and think they're both precious, but levihan is a lot harder to read into and it makes me sad their romantic relationship wasn't more developed if romance was what Isayama hinted yo towards the end. Maybe yams left levihan up to interpretation deliberately? Maybe we read too much into it and it's not really there? Maybe eruri was queerbaiting? Maybe both are canon and Levi's just swings both ways? Idk the answers to any of that and unless the author comes clean we'll never be sure about levihan a hundred percent. Less doubts about eruri though...

Anyways, no hard feelings and I really LOVE your fanfics! Hope you have a very nice day and continue writing!

I have been looking for the right time to go through this ask because this ask just kinda made me think but not like about anything against the eruri ship. Like go ahead, ship eruri and feel free to meta eruri in my anon inbox but like the arguments here are a bit wishy washy.

Like that convo where he shuts hange out after it was said about her crush on shadis? Levi actually talks afterwards about how he wants Hange to take over the rots mission and for Erwin to stay tucked in safe.

Well, of course he would ask Erwin to stay tucked safe. Erwin is literally missing one arm and Hange was the most competent person to lead in the field at that point in time. How is this related to romance? I mean, if you wanna play the romance game, remember that Levi was legit injured, he could barely stand and he still forced himself to stand up to talk to Hange.

When Hange was hurt during the uprising the moment he sees Erwin he's just nonchalant about? And yes she said she was okay and he was mad about her being hurt in the first place, but the looks he gives erwin not only this moment but throughout? Not really platonic tbh...

Levi literaly gave the most poker 'pokerface' in this scene and I do not understand how it could be seen as not platonic. If we're talking about non platonic looks then maybe we should look for a scene where Levi's biting his lip seductively because let's face it, all the looks Levi gave Erwin, Hange and Petra could all be interpreted as platonic, we're all just a bunch of shippers trying to find the romance and the canonicity for our favorite ship lmao.

Or the falling debris scene where he seems distracted? Yes he's thinking about hange's safety but the worried look is at Erwin's direction on the wall.

Yeah, because people like to stare at someone else while worrying about a particular someone's safety. I dunno but what if Levi was worried about both of them? Why do we have to blatantly disregard the fact that he explicitly mentioned 'Hange' in that scene and shoehorn Erwin's position in that scene.

And also in chuugaku, there's a chapter about Erwin and Levi's relationship, exposition provided by Hange herself, where it's pretty much implied that Levi has the hots for him (complete with a bottom levi joke). Like he's the only member of the "home-making" club headed by Erwin where he basically cleans and cooks for him while erwin reads his paper like they're a couple and they've put marks like: don't search eruri on tumblr/ao3 haha.

Levi is literally an implied minor in chuugakkou and Erwin is a teacher. Nothing else needs to be said.

Point is while levihan is a ship that's MAYBE canon, there's a lot more concrete evidence for eruri. The only thing that throws it off is there's no discussion about Erwin's feelings nowhere that could be interpreted as romantic. And combine that with his crush for dok's wife back in the day maybe he wasn't into Levi the same way/ maybe bi, we'll never know.

But Levi legit was in love with him.

The flawed evidence above will only make for a flawed conclusion.

What strengthens levihan on the other hand is that hange is transparent about her feelings for Levi. And if you take the last chapters into consideration then levi could have reciprocated them. It wasnt framed as clear as his feelings for Erwin though imo.

As someone who has watched the show and read the manga and discussed this with people, none of my casual watcher friends even noticed Eruri crumbs. A lot of them didn't notice Levihan crumbs either so hey, we both lose here I guess.

I'm not against either ship and think they're both precious, but levihan is a lot harder to read into and it makes me sad their romantic relationship wasn't more developed if romance was what Isayama hinted yo towards the end. Maybe yams left levihan up to interpretation deliberately? Maybe we read too much into it and it's not really there? Maybe eruri was queerbaiting? Maybe both are canon and Levi's just swings both ways?

My personal take on this and the takes of a lot of casual watchers I have talked to is, Levihan has more crumbs than Eruri but maybe it only got development given the circumstances post season 3 since Levi and Hange were working closely together. If Erwin didn't die, maybe there could have been more Eruri moments. I haven't seen enough though and I cannot so hastily conclude that Levi was in love with Erwin.

Levi could have in love with both of them. Or just one of them.

And yeah, maybe Levihans are reading too much into it. But so what if we read too much into it?

I like them. I will continued reading too much into relationships which I believe could have been healthy and could have had a great dynamic if they pushed through as something romantic.

The point of getting into a relationship is for two people to come out of it better people and I will continue to ship a couple which I think is sending a good message to others regardless of whether or not it was framed clearly enough for people to see the 'romance.'

'Living together' with someone may not be as clear as sex or a kiss for a lot of people but I think it runs MUCH MUCH MUCH deeper. Sex and kisses are a dime a dozen. Commitment and Cooperation are diamonds.

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

LGBTQ+ Harry Potter Headcannons that I say are cannon and JK Rowling can die mad about it 😊

Harry Potter is a disaster bisexual and half Arab on his father’s side

Hermione Granger is Black and pansexual as well as trans (MtF)

Ron Weasley is Asexual/Heteromantic

Ginny is pansexual

Fred and George are raging bisexuals

Literally none of the Weasley children are straight; Bill and Percy are bi and Charlie is gay

Luna Lovegood is a cottage core lesbian and uses They/Them pronouns

Molly Weasley knits Pride flags sweaters for all of her children with their own respective flags, fight me!

Arthur Weasley is very supportive of his children and always makes sure to educate himself (and others) every time he learns something new about the LGBTQ+ community

Draco Malfoy is fucking gay and you can’t change my mind!

Crabbe and Goyle are straight allies

Pansy Parkinson is aromantic/bisexual

Blaise Zabini is demisexual

Neville Longbottom is a soft pansexual ❤

Dean (bi) and Seamus (gay) are dating, fucking deal with it!

Cedric Diggory is a pansexual trans man and EVERY student at Hogwarts was in love with him! Don’t question me!

The only time Harry and Draco WEREN’T bickering (with loads of sexual/romantic tension) was when they were ogaling Cedric and complaining about how hot he was!

Hermione still went with Viktor Krum to the Yule Ball but Ron wasn’t all that bitter about it and instead suggested that he and Harry go as each other’s date. Harry agreed as well as suggested that they bring Luna along with them as well.

Luna was thrilled and accepted their invitation, making all three of them matching corsages and boutonnieres.

Sirius (gay) and Remus (pan) are married but they’re also polyamories so when Remus falls in love with Tonks Sirius is like “go for it dude”. So Remus starts dating Tonks and her and Sirius become good friends and when Remus wants to propose to her after a few years Sirius helps Remus pick out the ring that’ll match both of theirs.

A muggle born student gifts Dumbledore a mini rainbow pride flag and he sticks it on his hat like a feather. He hasn’t taken it off since.

McGonagall is bisexual and helped rally during one of the first pride marches in England back in the 70s

Once Hagrid learns about the LGBTQ+ community from Harry and Co. he asks them if they could get him some flags to hang around his hut so that every student knows it’s a safe place for all.

Hogwarts eventually starts allowing students to stay over the summer months if they have nowhere else to go or if their own home isn’t safe for them.

Harry knew he was bi since he was like 10 but he just didn’t have a word for it until he met Hermione (cuz she was smart and knew a lot of words)

Of course he never told the Dursleys this but one day (he was 14 at the time) he found Dudley crying in his room when he thought no one was home and Harry just had this strange feeling that he should talk to him.

So turns out that Dudley was bi too and he was not processing it as well as Harry did. Harry came out to him which somehow comforted Dudley a lot more than he thought it would; they talked all night long and it was the beginning of them mending their familial relationship with each other into something healthy.

Heromione told Ron and Harry that she was trans during their second year and she was so scared that they would reject her that she cried for a whole hour before being able to say anything properly. Ron and Harry comforted her the entire time and promised her that they would all remain friends no matter what.

After that if anybody even LOOKED at Hermione in any sort of offensive way Ron and Harry would go absolutely feral on their asses

It took a LONG while for Ron to figure out he was Asexual, like he knew that he liked girls he just didn’t wanna…go all the way with them.

He had thought there was something wrong with him because all the guys were always talking about their “experiences” with their partners and how good it was

At first he thought that maybe it was because he unknowingly liked guys but after a few curious make-out sessions with a couple of male class mates at parties he concluded that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t a terrible experience but it just wasn’t his cup of tea.

Eventually he caved and finally talked to Hermione and Harry who were both very patient and gave plenty of helpful advice. So in the end Ron found out that he wasn’t weird he was just asexual.

When Harry and Draco finally start dating every time they see Lucius in their range of sight they start acting obnoxiously couple-y just to piss him off.

Narcissa thinks it’s funny

Dolores Umbridge is a homophobe and everybody hated her even more (including Draco’s gang). This was the moment all four houses came together in perfect harmony and collectively fucked her over.

When Harry was sent to Umbridge’s office for detention and told to write “I must not tell lies” with a black quill he instead looked her straight in the eye and wrote down “raging bisexual” in all caps.

When Draco found this out he fell just a little bit more in love with Harry

During their DADA class as Umbridge was discussing Merlin, Draco made a disagreeable comment which led to a squabble between them. It ended with Draco rolling his eyes and scoffing: “If you honestly think Merlin was even remotely heterosexual then you’re even stupider than I previously though, you mythic bitch!”

The entire class was stun into awed silence and Harry would not stop making obvious heart eyes at Draco for entire week.

After double teaming on a particularly nasty prank on Umbridge, which involved replacing all her cat portraits with worted toads, configuring all her sweets into slugs, hiding spiders and harmless snakes in her desk draws, and changing anything pink in her office to a gross bog water color, Harry and Draco finally got together. They were caught by Umbridge making-out under the stairwell and sent to detention.

She tried to get them expelled for their prank but she didn’t have enough evidence against them to prove that they did it.

(AN: Please add your own headcannons that you think should be cannon ❤I would love to read them❤)

[theoutcastedartist]

Give us all you animaniacs hcs (especially the lgbtq+ ones)((please))

Oh man I have so many to tell asfhjahsbsb I'm gonna leave out some of the more darker HC I have for this show (well technically, they are wildly-outlandish theories about where the Warner trio was for those 20+ years before the current time of the reboot, just gonna exclude those for now)

Ight imma start with the lgbtq+ headcannons first

Wakko: Nonbinary (Uses He/Them Pronouns)

Dot : Trans (Uses She/Her pronouns) and Pan

Yakko : Bi and Ace (Biromantic I believe it's called? Please correct me if I'm wrong on that)

On an unrelated note, Yakko is a whole mood

lmao look at my tiny clown-faced-puppy disaster son being the dramatic Bi-Ace icon he is when he's basically about to "die"

If you ever asked my younger siblings, they would tell you that I would 100% do the same shit, maybe even start singing "Little Miss Perfect" out of pure spite

Who knew me, as the oldest of a sibling trio would relate to the oldest of another sibling trio

ANYWHO BACK TO HEADCANNON STUFF BECAUSE YES

Oh man lemme start with Yakko HCs because he's the character I project so much on to nowadays:

Yakko

All his senses are very sensitive compared to the other two, sometimes he'll get really overwhelmed by bright lights, strong flavors, loud noise, etc... he feels like he's being dumb everytime he has a problem with anything regarding his senses.

Lights and noise: Sometimes it just gets too much for him if he's exposed to constant loud noise and bright lights to the point where he'll start crying or yelling (especially if noise is the main problem) out of stress from it.

Strong flavors: He will visibly shudder in response to a very strong and very noticable flavor. He honestly prefers to eat blander foods over savory dishes. With that being said, he hates spicy food with a burning passion.

Very unwilling to go to someone for help or comfort when he's genuinely having a crisis over how he views himself. If anything, he's will try to do literally almost anything to avoid having that sort of conversation, especially with Dr. Scratchansniff.

He will however go to Dr. Scratchansniff or another trusted adult for advice if he needs help for how to take care of his siblings or just for general advice on stuff.

He hates being picked up or hugged with zero warning.

The only people who he doesnt mind doing this are Wakko and Dot, of course. If anyone else tries it though, he'll bite them and yes, this includes Dr. Scratchansniff as well. He may be the closest thing to them as a parental figure (in the 90's show at least), but he's not in the same close knit circle Yakko is in with Wakko and Dot.

His main hobby is drawing, it's his go to coping mechanism if he's not up to cracking a joke(while he's in the watertower) as well.

He needs glasses/wears contacts (ones made specifically for toons I guess)

Prefers reading books over watching anything on TV/electronic devices in general.

If either or both of his siblings can't sleep, he'll sing them a lullaby 💕

Off-set/off-screen/ outside of the recording for animaniacs Yakko usually wears these thick, oversized hoodies, and he will refuse to take it off.

This is because Yakko feels really weird and off when his arms aren't covered(sometimes there is this random phantom ache in his arms that just wont go away until he covers them. It's not like painful, painful, but just really annoying at times.) Even if it's hot as hell outside, he will not take it off. Wakko and Dot usually have to wrestle to get it off him, otherwise Yakko will faint/have a heat stroke. They make a compromise by agreeing to Yakko wearing long sleeves, so long as they're made out of light material.

If he needs caffeine to "wake up" but is too damn tired to do so, Yakko will not hesitate to just straight-up eat pure coffee beans.

Wakko

For anything else, he does not mind eating food with very strong flavors, he actually enjoys spicy food (the spicier, the better), but for cereal they prefer the blandest one. Bland food is comforting to him (also doesnt want his brother to feel bad about not liking a lot of the savory foods he and Dot like)

Doesnt have much of a problem expressing himself. If he genuinely feels bad about something regarding themself, he wont hesitate to go to Yakko (sometimes he'll go to Dot if she happens to be there first, but 95% of the time he'll go to Yakko)

They actually likes being picked up and carried, but only by family and close friends. Any stranger who tries to pick him up will receive angry claw marks to the face.

Main hobby is composing music (instumentals). They will let Yakko or Dot write lyrics if they're feeling sad or bored (or as a sibling bonding activity too)

Favorite TV show is the Looney Tunes (classic cartoons)

He gives comfort to his sibs by just being there for them as a shoulder to cry on.

They don't like having their hat off for an extended period of time often. It's a source of comfort and his way of expressing his identity.

Is the one who usually has to stop Yakko from eating bare coffee beans when he's too tired to actually make coffee.

Dot

She's pretty in the middle when it comes to food.

If it's a minor thing, she'll usually just talk to Wakko about it. If it's something more serious, she'll go to Yakko about it.

She only let's Yakko and Wakko touch her or carry her. Outside of those two, she only let's Dr. Scratchansniff carry her. For anyone else, she will clobber anyone who makes an attempt to do so. She just really hates it when if comes to anyone else.

Main hobbies are sewing and designing clothes. She'll have her siblings model her clothes for her (they are very eager to do so everytime). It provides a good distraction for either Yakko or Wakko if they're down or frustrated about something. It's just super fun.

Really loves (well-made) action movies, it's like her favorite genre of movies.

Gives comfort by providing her siblings with soft materials (like blankets or pillows). She'll drape herself over either of them to provide a comforting pressure.

She expresses herself through her iconic pink skirt and flower scrunchie. Both are her favorite articles of clothing because her siblings were the ones who got them for her. (Yakko sewed the pink skirt; he was the one to teach Dot how to sew 💕)

She's a last resort to stopping Yakko from eating the coffee beans raw.

Original vs. Reboot headcannons

The original 1990's show is more "On-stage", having for educational songs and skits, whereas the 2020 Reboot/revival is more "Off-Stage" with the occasional show skit, hence any inconsistencies with the characters' personalities, especially Yakko.

Both shows take place in the same type of setting as "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" (The idea of cartoons existing as real entities alongside humans; I got a lot of WFRR vibes during Sufferage City with the whole "Cartoon Rights" part especially)

Well that's about as much as I can write for now, I have more headcannons of course, but I found this to be a good place to stop.

These are just my personal headcannons of the Warner Trio, I don't really have any for Pinky and the Brain, but I wanna know what some of your guy's headcannons are for any aspect of the shows!

[remuslupinartthou]

Wolfstar (Kinda) Cinderella AU

okay so hear me out-

Sirius is about to turn 18 so he legally has to marry someone asap

His mother and father love him but legally have to set him up with someone, his brothers James and Regulus like to laugh that he will end up marrying an old lady if he doesn’t choose soon

And he wouldn’t say it but Sirius is terrified of that so he agrees to host a ball to find someone to marry

Now everyone in the kingdom knows that the second oldest black prince is bisexual, some accept it some don’t

Sirius’ parents know he’s bi so they extend the invitation to boys and girls

Remus Lupin, a poor servant sees the invite and doesn’t expect to meet the prince at all but just wants some fun

He manages to get away from the family he works for (they are super mean) for a night to go to the ball

He doesn’t know how to get there or what to wear so long story short Remus bumps into a woman near a dress shop buying a dress last minute

She realizes who Remus is and just FREAKS out because it’s her old best friends son

He tells her he wants to go to the ball and has nothing to wear so she takes his arm and they go buy some mf clothes for this man

Remus and the girl show up to this ball, a little late because of the last minute clothing swap

Sirius is over there and he’s met like 200 girls and boys and he wants to die because he doesnt remotely like any of them

It’s time for the dance of the night with Sirius and his chosen one but he hasn’t found anyone so he kinda just looks around like uhhh

And then his eyes land on the stairs where this literal god is walking down in all his glory with his messed up but in a sexy way hair, this light blue suit that literally looks like it’s glowing

He doesn’t realize but he’s staring and James elbows him and sniggers something that sounds like “Cat got your tongue black?”

Sirius glares quickly at James before he flicks his eyes on the cute guy to ask him to dance

But he’s not the only one because other people have noticed Remus and now he sees some guy about to ask him so he kinda just uses his annoying loud voice to call him over

Just something like “hey hot guy in the blue suit” and everyone’s like ‘omg is he gonna ask him’ and everyone just moves out of the way and then he has a clear view of the hot blue suit guy and he can tell now that he has freckles and he has perfect lips and big eyes

Sirius just kinda grins at him and holds out a hand like “wanna dance?” and Remus blushes and Sirius almost dies cause he’s so cute

Remus nods and Sirius goes over and grabs his hand leading him to the dance floor

He gets a whiff of him and he smells like lavender and another outdoorsy scent Sirius can’t pick up

They get to the middle and Sirius puts a hand on Remus’s waist and wow he’s tall

Remus blushes again and just puts an arm around Sirius

They start dancing and they both know what they’re doing because Sirius got taught by a professional and Remus used to dance with his mom

Sirius decides he wants to hear the cute guys voice so he grins at him and says “Hey” in his most seductive voice

Cute guy meets his eyes and Sirius sees his eyes are a pretty amber/brown colour

They keep eye contact for a few seconds before Remus grins and Sirius decides he wants to make him smile like that again and again

“So what’s your name? I cant keep calling you cute guy. Unless you don’t mind,”

Remus laughs before answering “Remus. I think I might know yours?”

And just what because he has an accent and his voice matches his demeanor and face so much

“I’m Sirius, aka your future husband.”

Remus turns scarlet and his embarrassment makes Sirius laugh

They still haven’t stopped dancing but now people are joining so they can leave

Sirius grabs Remus’s hand and pulls him over away from the dancing

“Okay tell me about you right now.”

And Remus tells him all about him and at the end they are laughing so hard

Sirius literally wants to marry this man and he has known him for like an hour

He meets Remus’s eyes and they both stand at the same time and Sirius pulls him outside

“I need a favour.”

Remus smirks because he knows what’s coming.

“Oh? and what might that be?”

And Sirius can’t with him so he just throws himself at Remus and kisses him

And he tastes like chocolate and mint

Sirius about loses it because how can someone be so perfect

Somehow when they pull away Remus has a hand around Sirius’s waist and one on his jaw Sirius has a hand in Remus’s hair and one around his neck

And they just stand there with their foreheads pressed together and then James runs out and when he see’s them he lets out a whoop of glee before running back in screaming something but Sirius doesn’t hear because he’s kissing Remus again and it’s so perfect

[chelseamount]

Carpool Karaoke - Tom Holland x Reader

BEFORE YOU READ IMPORTANT 

when there are songs

cursive is you

BOLD is James

and This  is both of you

this story was requested by @tomsirishgirlx​ 

---

"Thank you so much for helping me to work today the traffic is crazy" James

"yeah no problem," I say

"you wanna listen to some music?"

"let's do it"

"Are we gonna have a problem?

You got a bone to pick?

You've come so far why now are you pulling on my dick?

I'd normally slap your face off And everyone here could watch But I'm feeling nice Here's some advice Listen up beeyotch"

"I like"

Lookin' hot

Buying stuff They can not

"I like"

"Drinking hard Maxing dad's credit card"

I like

Skippin' gym Scarin' her Screwin' him

I like

Killer clothes

Kickin' nerds in the nose

If you lack the balls You can go play dolls Let your mommy fix you a snack(whoa)Or you could come smoke Pound some rum and coke In my Porsche with the quarterback (whoa, whoa, whoa)

Honey, what you waitin' for? Welcome to my candy store Time for you to prove you're not a loser Anymore And step into my candy store

Guys fall At your feet Pay the check Help you cheat

All you Have to do

Say goodbye

To Shamu

That freak's Not your friend I can tell In the endIf she Had your shot

She would leave You to rot

Course if you don't care Fine, go braid her hair Maybe Sesame Street is on(whoa)

Or forget that creep And get in my jeep

Let's go tear up Someone's lawn (whoa, whoa, whoa)

Honey, what you waitin' for? Welcome to my candy store You just gotta prove You're not a pussy Anymore And step into my candy store

You can join the team

Or you can bitch and moan

You can live the dream

Or you can die alone

You can fly with eagles

Or if you prefer

Keep on testing me

And end up like her

Honey, what you waitin' for?

Shut up, Heather! Step into my candy store

Time for you to prove You're not a lame-ass Anymore And step into my candy store

It's my candy store It's my candy It's my candy store It's my candy It's my candy store It's my candy store

"I think I just got chills there," James says as we laugh "so Y/n it's so great to have you here"

"it's so great to be here it's like a dream come true" I smile

"y/n you are a Broadway singer and actress"

(all of these musicals and movies don't really make sense with the years they were made in but just imagine that they fit the age the reader is if that makes sense"

"yes that's correct"

"so what was your first role like ever"

"ever was Jan in grease"

"really" James looks at me

"yeah I was so happy"

"that's amazing and you were how old"

"fourteen"

"wow and what was your first broadway musical"

"that was heathers as the role of heather chandler as we just heard"

"I love the heathers songs and you are still in contact with some of your co-workers right"

"right I am really close with Barret who played Veronica but we don't get to see each other too much but when we do it's amazing"

"but you two played in mean girls too right"

"right I played Regina George and she played Janis, and that was probably one of my favourite musicals I have been in because obviously mean girls was like my favourite movie when i was younger"

"yeah so what was your favourite song from mean girls"

"oh totally world burn I think it's amazing"

"My name is Regina George And I am a massive deal I will grind you to sand Beneath my Louboutin heel This is what I get for helping Helping someone lame fit in Cady Heron, enjoy your temporary win" I sing "My name is Regina George "Regina is a fugly cow." Hey Cady, how ya like me now? I wanna watch the world burn I got the gasoline I wanna watch the world burn And everyone get mean I wanna watch the world burn I got the gasoline I wanna watch the world burn And everyone get mean Cady, time to watch your back Cady, time to turn and cough Because you took me down But you didn't finish me off My name is Regina George And in case you're keeping score Cady may have won the battle But I will win the war, for I wanna watch the world burn Trang Pak is a grotsky bi-otch! I got the gasoline Ms Norbury is a drug pusher! I wanna make the world burn Janis is a space dyke! Regina is a fugly cow Regina is a fugly cow And you can quote this Ohh. Woah-oh-oh! Who wrote this? Who wrote this? Who wrote this? I wanna watch the world burn I got the gasoline! I wanna watch the world burn And everyone turn Mean So mean! Mean So mean! Mean! I wanna watch the world burn Who wrote this? Who wrote this? I wanna make the world turn So mean! I wanna watch the world burn!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"y/n you were in les misérables too"

"yes I played fantine which was amazing but it hit hard you know it was very much touching

There was a time when men were kind When their voices were soft And their words inviting There was a time when love was blind And the world was a song And the song was exciting There was a time

Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in times gone by When hope was high and a life worth living I dreamed, that love would never die I dreamed that Go

d would be forgiving Then I was young and unafraid And dreams were made and used and wasted There was no ransom to be paid No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night With their voices soft as thunder As they tear your hope apart As they turn your dream to shame He slept a summer by my side He filled my days with endless wonder He took my childhood in his stride But he was gone when autumn came And still, I dream he'll come to me That we will live the years together But there are dreams that cannot be And there are storms we cannot weather I had a dream my life would be So different from this hell I'm living So different now from what it seemed Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"that literally just made me get tears in my eyes," James says as he points to his eyes

we laugh and talk for some time when the thing I have dreaded the most comes up

"so y/n I have to ask you this because everyone wants to know encluding me"

"oh no gosh I know what it is already"

"are you dating tom holland"

"oh god Tom and I are just good friends"

"really because your two have been spotted a lot of times holding hands"

"friends do that"

"sure"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Regina George is the queen bee

She's always dressed up She always wins Spring Fling Queen We're just drones that work for her And then die"James says as he turns on the radio

"My name is Regina George

And I am a massive deal Fear me, love me Stand and stare at me And these, these are real I've got money and looks I am, like, drunk with power This whole school Humps my leg like a chihuahua the prettiest poison you've ever seen I never weigh more than one-fifteen My name is Regina George And I am a massive deal I don't care who you are I don't care how you feel"

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"so y/n, let's get a little serious"

"yes" I say

"in this song, you sing 'i never weigh more than 115' but you said something in a video that Regina doesn't have to be that and that you aren't and i found that amazing"

"thank you I really don't think that she has to be that and I am not and will never be near that and I'm proud of that you should be proud of how you look"

"I love that. you're also in a musical right now hamilton"

"yes I am in England"

"so any plans for what you are going to do after hamilton"

"yes but it's a secret for now

"Okay but you play one of the Schuyler sisters"

"yes I play Eliza"

"and you're amazing in it I saw it some time ago and I love it as I wrote to you"

"it still warms my heart"

"but my biggest dream is being in hamilton but as one of the Schuyler sisters"

"mmm-hmm" I laugh

"I wanna be angelica"

"you can be James"

There's nothing rich folks love more Than going downtown and slumming it with the poor They pull up in their carriages and gawk at the students in the common Just to watch 'em talk

Take Philip Schuyler, the man is loaded Uh oh, but little does he know that His daughters, Peggy, Angelica, Eliza Sneak into the city just to watch all the guys at

Work, work

Angelica!

Work, work

Eliza!

And Peggy!

Work, work

The Schuyler sisters

Angelica!

Peggy!

Eliza!

Work!

Daddy said to be home by sundown

Daddy doesn't need to know

Daddy said not to go downtown

Like I said, you're free to go

But—look around, look around The revolution's happening in New York

New York

Angelica

Work!

It's bad enough Daddy wants to go to war

People shouting in the square

It's bad enough there'll be violence on our shore

New ideas in the air

Look around, look around

Angelica, remind me what we're looking for

She's looking for me!

Eliza, I'm looking for a mind at work (work, work) I'm looking for a mind at work (work, work) [x2] Woa-oah

Woa-oah

Work!

Ooh, there's nothing like summer in the city Someone in a rush next to someone lookin' pretty Excuse me, miss, I know it's not funny But your perfume smells like your daddy's got money Why you slummin' in the city in your fancy heels? You searchin' for an urchin who can give you ideals?

Burr, you disgust me

Ahh, so you've discussed me I'm a trust fund, baby, you can trust me

I've been reading Common Sense by Thomas Paine So men say that I'm intense or I'm insane You want a revolution? I want a revelation So listen to my declaration:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident That all men are created equal"

And when I meet Thomas Jefferson (unh!) I'mma compel him to include women in the sequel

Work!

Look around, look around at how Lucky we are to be alive right now Look around, look around at how Lucky we are to be alive right now

History is happening in Manhattan and we

Just happen to be in the greatest city in the world In the greatest city in the world!

---------------------------------

"All my dreams just came true," James says as I laugh at his comment "okay now time for something a little different"

"oh gosh," I say "what is it"

"we're going to take a lie detector test"

"nooo"

after some time I'm all strapped up while a man is on a computer checking whether I speak the truth or not

"okay let's start out by some to test if it works"

"okay"

"is your name Y/n"

"yes"

"true"

"are you currently in hamilton"

"yes"

"true"

"did you play Regina George"

"yes"

"she's telling the truth"

"Great let's start easy so...Y/n"

"yes"

"Which one of your castmates is your favourite"

"Barrett"

"true"

"great, y/n am I your favourite host"

"oh absolutely"

"true"

"yes you had to get that right, okay this one is the best one are you dating tom holland"

shit

"no"

"lie"

"YES I KNEW IT I KNEW IT OMG YES" he smiles

"no that's the truth," I say

"you can't lie on accident"

"well fuck me then"

"how long"

"not long"

"lie"

"okay five years almost"

"WHAT," James says in shock

"I'm sorry we just didn't want our relationship the get ruined by hate"

"five years"

"yeah"

"When were you going to tell everyone when you had seven kids"

"haha no I don't know when but I guess it's out now"

"well some people are going to get heartbroken, someone gets hurt"

-----------------------------

Ice queen, that's what you see It's what they all expect from me But it's all show Face it, you used me You saw the sexy clothes My supermodel pose But did you know?Was I a game to you? Was I way to be cool? I truly cared Was I the fool? It's fine for you It's fine to flirt It's fine 'Till someone gets hurt 'Till someone gets hurt

----------------------------------

"Y/n it was amazing to have you here"

"it was amazing to be here James, even tho I now have to go home to Tom and tell him the news, gosh this is so fucked"

"wait you guys live together too"

"bye James" I run out the door

--------------------------------

"Baby I'm home" I smile

"hi love," Tom says as he walks over to me and kisses me, gosh I missed him

"I missed you," I say

"I missed you"

"you love me right"

"more than anything my - wait what did you do"

"well"

[sammansonn]

My Thoughts on the 100 7x12

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

that is my first thought

okay as usual sanctum plot first

first a big Rip to sachin and the children of gabriels i was honestly p sad when they died it was an oof

murphy and emori really do be a Power Duo and so cute like what the fuck i love that for them 

loved seeing emori take out nikki and john threatening/talking to her??? Sexy

also john’s “get in line”??? Iconic, love living in a world where everyone is proud of murphy like it Should be 

i love madi and also just want her and clarke to reunite and madi comforting that kid?? i Cried

also sheidheda’s throne of bones made me wanna Vom why is he so edgy like we get it man you shop at hot topic

and emori threatening sheidheda with the reactor?? Fucking Sexy as Hell

emori and murphy just Really make my bi heart happy, they’re both just so hot in their looks and their baddassery

okay bardo shit be Wack

we finally got a shaven and short haired bellamy but at what Cost

every time he says “my shepherd” i die a little inside

love the lil friendship between hope and jordan because seriously they both need friends

also my poor babie Hope that girl done Fucked up and i just don’t know how she’s gonna get through this she honestly needs her auntie o to be there with her

octavia telling clarke she finally understands her??? we Love to see it, i’m so glad my girls are good again they’re fucking sisters

genuinely felt so bad for echo because girl is having a Rough time

But let us not forget the complete Contrast of conversations that bellamy had with echo vs the one he had with clarke

with echo he was pretty emotionless, like you could tell it hurt that echo was mad at him and felt like she didn’t know him anymore but he was able to maintain his cool and put the cause above her

but with clarke??? homeboy was a Mess

he was trying So Hard to convince clarke why he was doing this, he didn’t really try to win echo over and get her to understand, but he wants clarke to understand So Bad because its Her that keeps him grounded, she Is the head to his heart and he wants so bad for her to say “yeah, i get it, this is what's right” because he wants that validation and that assurance thats still nagging at him

since i mentioned bellamy being the heart i also wanted to say that i think its interesting to look at his general emotional nature and then compare it to the great lack of emotion the disciples teach

i think the reason this attracted bellamy partly is because his emotions had let him down, or at least he viewed it that way, because he believes that all the bad things he did and all the bad things that happened to him came from him being too emotional, so it makes sense that he would be drawn to this group of rationalists while still being able to uphold his need to protect and save others (for all mankind)

his voice was literally breaking, he was about to Cry because clarke felt so betrayed and was So upset, homeboy was clearly Devastated 

that whole convo just Broke me man it really Hurted what can i say

i also literally had to pause the scene of clarke being tortured like 10 times, i would play it and get upset at my girl being hurt and have to pause it, am i far too emotionally attached to her? yes.

also a real quick fuck you to jason because why the Hell did we not get bellamy seeing the radio calls in clarke’s mind??? it was literally a Perfect time for it

i swear to god if those radio calls are Never brought up again im gonna be Pissed (like do i expect disappointment from jason? yeah, but imma still be pissed)

but i did Love that final scene, clarke really be showing up like “i was gone five fucking minutes how’d you screw things up this much?”

i love murphy’s smile too, like he’s so happy she’s there because he was Stressed about saving everyones lives and he’s like “i haven’t done much of his savior bullshit so lets wait till Carke-i-have-plans-for-everything-and-am-good-at-saving-people Griffin comes back 

also i’m very concerned as to where the rest of the gang went, but since they have the helmets could they use that to find the other stone and get back to sanctum? idk but i worry about them

also we still haven’t seen Gaia, like where the fuck is Gaia? i hope there's as scene with clarke and indra that just goes “where’s gaia?” “i thought you had gaia” “what i thought You had gaia” cuz seriously where is that girl (ALSO who the fuck knocked her out?? and also didn't that person deactivate the sanctum stone? (which i hate that sheidheda has) like i’d really like to go back to that scene we haven’t talked about it in very long and i think its time)

im just really hoping murphy doesn’t die next episode or at all 

like i obviously don’t want any of the gang to die but i just feel like there's too many signs that murphy’s gonna die

when he said “i’m coming back” to emori i was Screaming at my laptop “why would you say that! thats what Everyone says before they Die and Don’t come back!!”

okay those have been thoughts with harleen thanks for tuning in see you in another 3 weeks cuz jason hates us i guess :/

[kiara-carrera]

*slides you three dollars* i would love to know more about Sawyer Reid, please and thank you

Yes! I was hoping someone would ask me about her lmao. Okay so I've literally only had her for a day so I don't have a ton of stuff planned, but I have like ... a general concept (and an extensive Pinterest board because I will pin things until I'm blue in the face. Under the cut because idk when to shut up ever!!

Sawyer Reid is from Shadyside, born and raised, and knows just what a shitty hand she's been dealt based on that fact. She knows she's probably never going to make it out of that shithole and has kind of just ... acclimated to that. She's a bit of a trouble maker and what I like to call the quintessential horror movie hot girl. Like she's hot, she knows it, everyone knows it. Wild child-ish. Likes to party and do all the general "against horror movie rules if you wanna live" stuff.

During the summer of 1978, she's working as a camp counselor at Nightwing. She used to go there when she was a kid and when she aged out as a camper, she started working there. It's less of a oh this looks good on college applications or a I'm helping the community and love working with kids but a it keeps me busy kind of thing. I haven't started thinking of her family yet, but being away for the summer is probably also a plus. She's relatively good at it, like she screws around when she's not around with the kids, but she tries her best to be engaging with the kids (and make sure the Shadysiders don't get fucking stomped on by the Sunnyvalers). She probably butts heads a lot Kurt. And honestly maybe Nick, his presence just annoys her (as it should, he's a whole ass bitch).

Sawyer's pretty close with Alice (and I guess by extension Arnie?? Idk, rip to him he didn't stand a chance). Back in the day, her and Alice were super close with Cindy, which is where the romance plot kicks in. Firstly, Cindy Berman's a lesbian, argue with the wall. Anyways, Sawyer is also a lesbian. Given the time period, she's not really out about it, but before Cindy's whole personality change/the incident her and Alice talk about, Sawyer and Cindy were kind of a thing? Like not a full relationship, but feelings that each other knew about and all that.

Sawyer is heartbroken when Cindy distances herself and starts acting like a stick in the mud. Honestly, it's kind of a parallel of Deena and Sam. I think it's basically (??) been confirmed by the director that Alice and Cindy had that kind of thing going on, but I really wanted to delve into it more and have that kind of dynamic be explored more explicitly rather than it be kind of hinted at so to speak, so in this fic it was Cindy and Sawyer. Best sorta ex girlfriends.

After their fallout, Sawyer pretty much swears off love and gets a bit of a frostier ice queen temperament because of it. She kind of throws herself in meaningless flings with random girls (look, idk about y'all but Joan gave me some bi or maybe pan vibes, so they've probably hooked up before idc it's my canon now), but Cindy's kinda still got a grip on her heart so there's definitely going to be a lot of angst there. Also a lot of banter and Sawyer being a teasing bitch because she loves to get under Cindy's skin. Friends to lovers to enemies to lovers to unfortunate untimely death????? (Meaning Cindy, Sawyer doesn't die because I'm not killing my best girl and I love a good final girl — secondary final girl? Like I'm not stealing Ziggy's spotlight but you know, it's fine more than one person can live).

[violetwolfraven]

Javid with 20 and 21? Like from friends, teaching each other their foreign language, to dating, both fully able to speak to one another.

One of us speaks a different language and teaches the other some stuff.

and

We both speak a different language and everyone thinks we’re dirty talking but we are literally just messing with them.

Fun! I’m gonna do Hispanic!Jack here because that’s a pretty popular headcanon. And I’m writing Mike and Ike as the same because I think they are??? In real life??? Even if they’re not they are in this. Also Modern AU because that seems simpler.

((I am so sorry that this kind of sucks. I could not come up with anything good for the life of me.))

...

“So, what’s your bet?” Jack asked.

Ike shrugged, “I’m 90% sure Jojo’s got the hots for my brother, but you know, they’re both stupid and probably won’t see it, so who knows?”

This was a yearly tradition Jack had with this certain friend of his. Every year on the first day of school since 6th grade, he and Ike would place bets who would come out in the coming school year. They decided who won simply by going by whoever was closest. As this was their freshman year of high school, they’d been doing it for 3 years, and while both were pretty sure that all of their friends were gay, bi, or pan, there was always the matter of when someone would feel safe enough to admit it.

Jack was proud to say, he usually won, but so far, one of them always managed to guess correctly who was coming out this year, usually within a month of when they actually did.

“So, you think Jojo’ll come out this year?”

“It’s hard to say. He’s got issues at home. If you really wanna know my bet, I think Elmer”

“Oh, yeah. He’s got the massive hots for Buttons. I’ll take that one. I bet he comes out by the end of first semester.”

Ike snorted, “Oh, I’m betting by the end of the month.”

“The usual amount of $20?”

“Obviously. Anyone else?”

“Hmm... Sniper,” Jack decided, “By Christmas.”

“Oh, yeah. She’s a solid bet,” Ike mused, “I’m guessing by Halloween.”

“You have an unreasonable amount of faith in our friends’ self-confidence,” Jack observed.

Ike laughed, “How about the new guy? He seems like a classic closet case.”

“I’m not sure.”

“With how you’ve been looking at him, I’d place bets on you hoping he’s gay.”

Jack figured the look on his face was probably pretty good with how Ike burst out laughing.

Suddenly, Race leaned over to Jack and said something in Italian, a language they both knew damn well Jack didn’t speak.

“Racer, ya know I don’t understand ya when you talk like that.”

“Well, that,” Race flicked Jack’s forehead, “Is just how it feels, big brother!”

“What were you talking about?” Davey asked.

Davey was Jack’s new best friend (adoptive younger brothers; Crutchie, Race, and Romeo not included) who he’d met literally this morning and would already die for. Though Davey was new to the friend group, it already felt, to Jack at least, like he had been there forever.

That did not mean he felt like telling him what Ike and him had just been talking about.

Ike was laughing awkwardly.

“I heard Jojo’s name,” Davey said, seeming to be thinking out loud, “And Elmer, Buttons, and Sniper. Still, talking about your friends doesn’t narrow the possible subjects down much.”

“Hey, Ike!” Mike hollered from the other end of the group, “Get over here! Kath brought her tarot cards!”

“Oh, rad! Sorry, Jack, you’s on your own!”

Ike was all to happy to leave. Race had already started having the argument of the day with Albert. Jack was alone on this one.

“Kath does tarot readings?” Davey asked skeptically.

Jack shrugged, “She don’t really believe in that stuff. She does it cause pretendin’ she does pisses off her dad. He doesn’t need to know it ain’t even her readin’ ‘em. Elmer’s the psychic one.”

“Elmer’s psychic?”

Jack laughed. He hadn’t thought Davey’s face could hold any more skepticism, but he’d been wrong.

“Who knows? Most of his predictions do come true, though.”

“What?”

Jack laughed again, “Let him read you if ya want. You’ll see.”

“Okay. Can he tell me what you and Ike were talking about?”

Crap. Jack had hoped talking about Kath and Elmer’s psychic thing would distract him.

Long story short, Jack panicked and said something sarcastic and mildly flirty.

“Learn Spanish and I’ll tell ya everything.”

Davey chuckled, “That’s cold, Kelly.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, I am signed up for Spanish. Maybe you’ll just have to teach me what you know.”

Jack was honestly quite surprised by that.

Did Davey just flirt with him?

Before he could be sure, Davey gave him one last smile and headed over towards where Elmer was shuffling Kath’s tarot cards.

...

Spoiler alert: Davey was flirting with him. Jack quite honestly couldn’t believe his luck, because after a few months of Spanish tutoring and dancing around their feelings, they finally went on an actual date, and if you hit the fast forward button to junior year, they were still going strong.

And Jack had always been somewhat of a... dad friend for pretty much everyone else in his group, but he hadn’t even realized how hard that could be until suddenly, he was getting help from a boyfriend who many of the friend group had jokingly started referring to as ‘mom.’

Also, Davey was damn near fluent in Spanish, now, thanks to the class at school combined with being close with more than a few kids who’d grown up speaking it.

Oh, yeah. And Ike won the bet about Elmer coming out within the month. Jack won the one about Sniper coming out around Christmas time. In short, they were even.

Well, Jack felt like the lucky one, having gotten a boyfriend, but Ike got one about a year later, so... yeah, actually, they were still even.

“What are you thinking about?” Davey asked in Spanish. His accent was still not great, but it was definitely better than it was freshman year.

“Nothing,” Jack said before getting an idea, “But you know what we should do?”

“What?”

“We should pretend to flirt in Spanish.”

“What?” Davey looked super confused, “Why?”

“Because it’ll be funny.”

Mike, being in earshot, sniggered, seeming to agree. Jojo looked a little confused, but he was smiling, too.

Davey rolled his eyes, then lowered his voice to what could be considered a flirty tone, “Like this?”

“Just like that. Fantastic. Let’s mess with them and see how long it takes for someone to tell us to get a room.”

“I don’t really understand why you find that funny, but sure, if you want to. What should we actually talk about?”

“How about flowers? I need to get a certain friend something for her birthday. She said she likes flowers, so do you know what ‘you-know-who’s’ favorite flower is?”

“Why can’t you just say my sister’s name?”

“Because then they’ll suspect something. What’s her favorite flower?”

“I don’t know. I think she likes tulips. And I like lilies, by the way. It’s my birthday, too.”

“Oh, noted, love.”

Mike and Jojo seemed to be helping them, using body language that said they were super uncomfortable. As the only other two at the table who spoke or understood Spanish, Jack could only hope this would work.

Mike tilted his phone so they could see the screen. It was running a timer for how long it would take for someone to tell them to get a room.

Davey smirked cheekily, “You know what she really likes? Yarn crafts. She makes scarves and sweaters. You know this.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jack put his hand on Davey’s knee, “I forgot about that. What’s her favorite color again?”

“Yellow. Well... it changes every week. Just get her whatever color. She’ll be happy.”

They kept talking like that, acting like they were flirting but talking about mundane topics, until, sure enough, Specs told them to get a room.

Impressive. Mike’s clock read that it took their friends seven minutes to notice.

Jack was definitely glad that Davey learned Spanish.

[simptasia]

lost characters based solely on how i portray them in my text post memes

jack: constantly crying and/or screaming. no emotional stability. no social skills. terrible bedside manner. endearingly bland. into powerful women. loves the red sox... a lot. daddy issues. doesn’t believe in himself. has shitty tattoos. being crushed under the weight of everybody’s expectations. more or less hot. he is not cool at all. repressed attraction to guys. chronic hero syndrome. adorably embarrassing as a dad. passionately and violently overreacts to the mere concept of people believing in things. mansplains but in a non malicious way because he is literally that oblivious. gets into fights a lot. dissociates in mirrors. gets injured a lot but doesn’t wanna make a fuss. thinking about caves

kate: desperate need to protect women. bi. is frustrated by jack and sawyer’s personalities but wants to fuck them oh so much. rowdy. feminist. biceps. will call you out. is love with claire and jack and sun and- she has a lot of love to give. she can be ur angel or ur devil. exasperated. doesn’t understand astrology but she’s trying. she’s the slytherin friend every hufflepuff needs. uses guns. doesn’t know how to cook. go to relationship advice is “dump him” or “suck his dick”.  just because you put things in her vagina doesn’t mean you know her. gemini

hurley: sad clown. haha laughter! hiding real pain! has debilitating mental illness. he’s doing his best to stay positive. virgin. genuinely kind soul. overwhelmed by food. awkward around girls he likes. much smarter and wiser than anybody thinks, including himself. a special boy who we all love. says dude a lot. the only valid rich person ever. doesn’t like himself. sees dead people. kinda silly. also he’s fat (but i don’t joke about it in a cruel way)

sawyer: compulsive need to nickname people. from the south. bewildered by charlie’s english slang. covering up vulnerability with jokes and being mean. loves juliet. is an asshole but a loveable asshole (this varies, mostly he’s an asshole). conventionally attractive to the point of boring. got a Thing going on with miles. can’t stand daniel being smart around him. babies freak him out. treats animals poorly

locke: very supportive and new agey type. i’ve made two jokes about him encouraging people to jack off, that wasn’t on purpose but Okay. he doesn’t know what its like to have friends. he says Deep Sounding but odd things. he’s super duper into nature. he suffers. he’s very forgiving of ben to the point of absurdity and he desperately wants ben to love and fuck him. or maybe they are fucking. Who Knows. he loves knifes

sayid: sexy, suffering shannon fucker. he doesn’t respect boone. his life is an endless parade of misery culminating in going on autopilot. respects women

jin: he has no idea what’s going on and his life revolves around sun

sun: beautiful. perfect. very passionate about gardening

claire: bi. frequently ignored. cutesy and sweet. super into astrology and new age stuff. her cheery demeanour can only hold on so long before she loses it. kinda dumb. has baby. vanilla, at least for now. loves charlie but is kinda frustrated by him. goes feral and “kitten thinks of murder all day” sums it up

charlie: that he needs attention and validation to survive would be a gross understatement. bi. trans. punk. stupid. english. really horny and slutty. adores music more than anything. drug addict (again, i refuse to be cruel). severe jealousy issues. inferiority superiority complex. hates himself but will get offended if you hate him. can’t take any form of criticism. is bewildered by sawyer’s american-isms. bit of a madonna whore complex. smol but will go the fuck off like a terrier nipping at ya heels. catholic and riddled with catholic guilt. goofy and obnoxious and he knows it. passive aggressive. terrified of bees. nice ass. mood swings. did i mention he’s short? anyway here’s wonderwall

ben: ugly. just plain terrible. beaten and bruised. seething with rage and pain on the inside. virgin. liar. just causes problems on purpose. resembles a lemur or rat, rodents in general. loves bunnies. doesn’t think sex is real. just a really bad idea for him to be around juliet. has no friends. doesn’t care about other people. says creepy shit just because. he knows he’s a terrible person. killed people. the friend nobody likes and a general nuisance to the other characters

(also my literal first text post meme about ben was a joke about him eating his parents??? 2014 sapphire, i wanna talk...)

juliet: mom friend. seems very calm but she’s screaming on the inside. basically she’s the This Is Fine meme. depressed. has big tits. low-key kinky. feminist in a very gentle way. has no ill will towards kate and will only fight her for fun. concerned for daniel’s well being. has no chemistry with jack. loves sawyer. flat measured calm way of speaking. she’s breaking apart at the seams but will offer you a nice glass of water :)))

michael: has a son..... uh...... enjoys minecraft?

(i’m sorry)

desmond: scottish. drinks. easily and constantly confused. magic psychic time powers, like visions and electromagnetic dimensional stuff. easily angered. fucked off by the concept of time and destiny in general. hhhhhhhot

smokey: Hello Fellow Humans I Promise This Is My Own Skin Haha

miles: bi. aro. loves money (trying to fill the hole in his heart with money and things). emo/punk. pretends not to care but he really does care. thinks emotions and romance are dumb but of course is emotional... and kinda wants love. but not that he LIKES you or anything. exasperated. thinks everybody else is weird. kinda slutty or at least trying to be. masochist and into BDSM. mean to daniel for no reason. daddy issues. resting bitch face. jaded, bitter and salty. responds to romantic things dan or char say with vulgar or mocking comments. grew up poor. can hear dead people. trying too hard to be edgy. deadpan snarker. Fuck Off I’m Not Sad Don’t Look At Me [cries only around the audience and his mom]

walt: becoming older than 10 was when things went downhill for him

shannon: seems vapid but is more than that. deeply insecure. feels she can’t do anything right. constantly put down as worthless by other people. yeah she’s sad but she Looks Great. wants sayid to pound her (mood)

(gee, that was dark)

richard: very old and ageless. sees ben as a son figure. really not holding it together. seems smart but he has no fucking idea whats going on. cult mindset. quips curtly back at miles’ vulgar jokes. in love with miles based on very little interaction. misses his dead wife. has a cute giggle. is also hot. overwhelmed and just wants to go into the jungle and scream

frank: doesn’t understand what anybody is talking about. the only normal person here. doesn’t understand these kids today with their weird kinks. just wants to sleep. pilot. bit of a conspiracy theorist

boone: bi. stupid. soaked in blood a lot.  (L I T E R A L L Y all of my boone jokes are about him being dumb and bi and horribly injured and combos of those. i haven’t even made any incest jokes! what the actual fuck)

ana lucia: “[with tears in her eyes] DO U WANNA FIGHT??”. highly volatile. lesbian. bros with jack but will roast him. angery, sad and underloved

daniel: bi, agender, neurodivergent, just, just especially brain weird. The Scientist trope but kind of a shitty scientist. smart. in love with charlotte. in love with desmond. likes rats a lot. talks weird and soft spoken. withdrawn and polite but with bursts of bitterness. his mom won’t let him live the live he wants to live. time travel weirdness. loves music. gifted kid burn out. has a mental and emotional collapse. thinks a hydrogen bomb will solve all his problems. skinny. touches people a lot. he’s not okay. romantic. overwhelmed. memory problems. his lack of life experience and softness is used to contrast miles. takes some statements literally. pretty vanilla (for now) and doesn’t know what certain kinks are. likes that charlotte is Tough & Rowdy. doesn’t swear much. bad hair. was unhinged in college. has radiation poisoning

libby: neurodivergent and in love with hurley

eko: yeah... i’ve legit only used him for jokes where charlie says something EXTREMELY vulgar and eko says “go to church”

charlotte: bi, loud, passionate, beautiful, angery, knows All The Languages, huge nerd, loves daniel and thinks he’s a Snack, outspoken feminist, archaeologist/anthropologist and wants to explore some fucking ruins, The Lost Lenore trope, loves chocolate, exasperated, great smile, subtly insecure, doesn’t get that she could just tell daniel how she feels, has had many indiana jones like adventures (off screen, of course), for example: crashing her dirtbike into all 7 wonders of the world

danielle: french and unhinged, has seen some shit

alex: just a young lady with no chill

jacob: suffers from terminal apathy. has little understand of human behaviour. doesn’t care about people. he just plain sucks. has no endearing qualities. causes many problems. beats the shit outta richard. doesn’t like technology. so removed from humanity that he’s a touch uncanny valley

christian, eloise, charles and anthony jokes each have their own kind of flavours but fuck it, i’ll sum them all up as: contemptuous cunts who deserve to die

aaron: just a baby boy. does baby things. has like 5 parents

vincent: a dog. a good boy. does he know more than he lets on? is he mysterious? no, he is just a dog

[shark-myths]

Playlist Prompt Challenge

o.m.g. thank you, @alienfuckeronmain​, for this tag? it literally electrified me. I want to write EVERYTHING right now. everyone should play.

The rules are: shuffle one of your playlists and for the first 3 songs that play, you have to write 3 fic prompts around those songs.

1. W.A.B.D.M.Y.C | No Men

wearing all black doesn't make you cool but it probably doesn't hurt and i think you're kinda cool anyway are you wearing that dress for me? are you wearing that dress to see if there's anybody out there that knows how to have any fun

This is a Marina Del Rey high school AU where Marina is a party girl and Lana is a weird sad goth kid who only reads books written by women who killed themselves. she wears all black and Marina daydreams about her in lolita ruffles. They end up thrust together in an all-girl garage band to try and win the prize money at the school talent show, because the same basic template of white boy wins every year and that’s unfeminist.

2. Do I Wanna Know? | CHVRCHES

I'm sorry to interrupt. It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you I don't know if you feel the same as I do But we could be together if you wanted to

Pick the pairing of your choice, this is definitely a prompt for different-gender bi/pan pals who are totally hot for each other and have that ridiculous, delicious, stomach-knotting finger-tingling type of chemistry that can’t be denied. But they’re both worried they won’t be queer enough for their friends or their loud & proud identities anymore if they date someone of a different gender than them, because guys, being bi is sometimes like that. I get nervous when i go out with my boyfriend sometimes, even though I love the hell out of him and i’m proud to be with him, because of the Shit Monosexual People Say sometimes to bi kids. this is a song for MAXIMUM MUTUAL PINING.

3. Superfruit | Maude Latour

I watch you drink your orange juice You're as good as superfruit I've dated bad guys, not really sure why Now I know that they were all such a waste of time And this is real life, by the pool side Have I told you that I'm really fuckin' scared to die?

Peterick AU about falling in love with someone you’re not supposed to fall in love with. It’s summertime and Pete’s home from college and depressed, like he always is in the suburbs. Patrick is best friends with Pete’s little brother, so he’s always around. If Pete has to sit across from him one more time at the breakfast table he’s going to lose his fucking mind.

and a bonus one because THIS WAS SO FUN I couldn’t stop:

4. Ubu | Methyl Ethel

Why'd you have to go and cut your hair? Why'd you cut your hair? Why'd you have to go and cut your hair? Why'd you cut your hair?

This song is about nonbinary Andy from the girl out boy ‘verse, and probably about how Jo felt when andy shaved their head and Jo could no longer deny the electro-zaps traveling from beneath her belly up through her spine whenever Andy’s leg is next to hers.

I tag @sn1tchesandtalkers​ @sandy-benzie​ @carbonbased000​ @leyley09​ @earlgreytea68​ @shoeboxofphotographs12 and anyone else who wants to!

[yakumtsaki]

Alright you guys, sorry for the delay, I’ve had to restart this post 20 fucking times because my changes weren’t being saved in the draft and then I kept getting the ‘upload failed’ error. In case you don’t remember wtf is going on you might wanna re-read the last update (I certainly had to) which is apparently from JUNE 2018. Jfc I suck so hard. Now this was gonna be really long but tumblr wouldn’t post it so I’m breaking it up in 3 parts, part 2 to be posted tomorrow. For those that don’t feel like reading back, general recap of the last couple updates:

Jojo cheated on Wyatt with Max Flexor and my solution to that marital crisis was to adopt our first dog ever, a puppy hilariously named Maxx.

The puppy grew up to be an asshole and is constantly beating up the cats, who have turned into giant pussies (no pun intended) and are losing every fight to him despite the fact they’re named after Mortal Kombat characters. They’re a fucking disgrace to Alegra’s/Victor’s/Ronroneo’s memory and I haven’t settled on a cat heir yet because they both suck.

Jojo is perma miserable, I don’t even remember how much money away from his 100k LTW, and still not a werewolf despite my pathologically persistent attempts to make him friends with the wolf.

Fucking useless Wyatt didn’t get promoted while Komei was alive providing us with his 100 townie friends, we spent 20 updates befriending every rando that crossed our lot to secure his promotion, and then finally on the day he was supposed to become Captain Hero, Wyatt got, of course, fired and is now on track to take longer to complete his literal career based LTW than Komei took to get 6 pets on the top of their careers.

Absolutely everyone hates noogie addict Shajar, she got a Kylo Ren makeover, and we still don’t know what her sexual orientation is thanks to her ridiculous fitness/fatness turn ons and cleanliness turn off.

Golden child/10 nice points freakshow Cyneswith grew up, rolled romance with the most disturbing turn-ons/offs possible (grey hair/mechanical & charisma turn off) and the 20 simultaneous lovers LTW.

Wulf grew up into a kid, got an Amadeus makeover, is officially a Wyatt clone and the only member of this family I don’t completely hate yet.

Now I’d like to begin the first Union post in more than a year by requesting you do me a solid and lower your expectations for this thing as far down as humanly possible. Like really try to recreate the Jules Verne classic “Journey to the Center of the Earth” with your expectations here, because my brain is so fucking fried that there’s a 20% chance I randomly start citing sources at some point during this post. This grad school crap has seriously been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever. And speaking of bad trade deals, let’s get this update rolling with the man, the myth, the legend, the husband who managed to make Komei look like a dreamboat in comparison..

..Wyatt fucking Union, née Monif. It’s been a long time, but I’m not gonna lie to you Wyatt, not nearly long enough. Looking good man, just one small question, where the fuck are your eyebrows?

-You àccidéntally deléted thém, imbécilé, et I cannôt exprèss my irritatiόn prόperly becausé I hàve non eyebrôws!

Did your selective French accent get thicker this past year or is it just me?

-It géts thickér whén je suis distrésséd, givé moi mon eyebrôws bàcc!!!

No can do, brother. Actually can do, but I think the Mona Lisa look is working for you, and more importantly I still hate you, so I’m just gonna hardcore ignore you for the rest of this post if that’s ok. Talk to me when you finally get promoted, aka never the way this shit is going.

-Non! NON! MON EYEBROWS!

It’s been lovely catching up.

Jojό I mean Jojo, goddammit Wyatt, is spending most of his time building robots in the mausoleum (sweet hipster band name alert)..

..giving financial advice in Shajar’s room (inb4 what’s the difference between the mausoleum and Shajar’s room)..

..building evil snowmen alone in the middle of the night, like all mentally healthy middle aged men with 3 kids are wont to do..

..and getting the piss harassed out of him by the cat ghosts in the bathroom (sweet hipster band name alert #2). How is this like the fourth time this happens in the exact same spot, will you just stop autonomously cleaning the bathroom after midnight? It’s obviously where the cats hang out, give it the fuck up already.

-I’m actively TRYING TO DIE you absolute moron, what does a guy have to do to get killed around here?

Yea can’t say that I blame you but not happening, you can commit suicide by Ghost Alegra after the kids fuck off to college, ok? I promise.

-Oh like you promised me being heir was a route worth pursuing??

Um obviously you too need to go back and re-read your own life story, because I spent the entirety of our “““cherished””” time together telling you heirship is a shitty gig at generation 2. And then to top it off you went and married Wyatt to ensure maximum shittiness, so there you go, fucking enjoy. God I am so sick of both of you losers and we’re only 5 pics in. Let’s check in with your spawn, I’m sure they can’t possibly be more annoying than their parents-

-oh right, I forgot, this is the generation with 10/10/9 active points where the party never stops. Cyneswith are you somehow twerking to classical music?

-How else am I gonna attract all those hot senior citizens per my grey hair turn on and 20 lovers LTW?

Ok great yea I see how this is gonna go, you’re trying to entice people into voting you for heir based on how torturous playing this fucked up LTW is gonna be for me, well forget it, my readers are intellectuals and completely above such petty entertainment. (istg mofos, don’t even think about it, i already did Komei’s 5 pets career shit, i will burn this place to the ground if you saddle me with Cyneswith banging the elderly for 30 years)

-No need to worry your stupid little head, I will beat Cyneswith for HEIR just like I beat her HAIR up daily! HAHA!

Shajar no offense but you’re a fucking war crime of a sim, nearly everyone who’s ever met you hates you including your parents, and the fact that you’re the alternative here is really not helping my situation in any way. Also how the fuck are you gonna be heir when the only thing you seem to be attracted to is giving noogies, you’re like one week away from college and I still don’t even know if you’re str8 or gay or bi or w/e the fuck you are. You have Jojo’s personality combined with..

..yes exactly, DANIEL’S SOCIAL ABILITIES. I mean I was joking with the whole ‘Shajar’s the spawn of Satan’ thing, but this combo of traits was clearly drawn up in Hell’s boardroom.

ANYWAY. It’s a snowy Sunday morning, and anyone who has been a teen knows what that means:

Time to go clubbing! Man I remember being like 15, waking up on a freezing Sunday morning and my mom making me a cup of hot chocolate before I drove off to the club. Those were the days.

-Uh, Shaj, when did you learn how to drive?

-Don’t be stupid, Cyneswith, people don’t need to ‘learn’ how to drive.

-They absolutely do, actually.

-Well what can I tell you, the dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

-Here we are, safe and sound! Celebratory noogie!

-YOU RAN OVER 9 PEOPLE

-How many times to I have to explain this to you, Apartment Life townies are not people.

Can’t argue with that logic. Let’s just go in and find out what Shajar’s sexual orientation is once and for all so I can spend the rest of this update aggressively promoting Wulf’s candidacy.

Now I consider ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ one of the dumbest sayings there is, but even I have to concede that this particular picture truly is worth a thousand words. Quick poll, what is more horrifying, Shajar’s literal Joker face or Cyneswith, whom I’ve never seen read a book ever, autonomously pulling one out in the middle of the dance floor, in what I can only assume is an attempt to attract old perverts with the schoolgirl routine?

And I know what some of you are thinking, you’re like ‘bro, you’re just reaching to make a bad joke bro, Cyneswith is just a sweet nice introvert and not like other girls, she doesn’t feel comfortable in the club’, well to that let me reply with another picture that is worth a thousand words:

Yea that’s right, on the first minute of our first time out WE RUN INTO THAT ONE ELDER TOWNIE THAT HAS WRINKLE MAKE UP ON. GODDAMMIT CYNESWITH

Do you guys remember how Jojo was obsessed with Stephen Tinker as a teen? Are you seeing the connection here?? Those kids have literally inherited the worst possible traits from both their parents turned up to 11, it’s fucking unreal.  

Right after I get over Wrinkle’s presence I turn around and what do I see, those 2, who have never had a non-noogie physical interaction, autonomously doing the family kiss thing. I didn’t even catch it on time because I was loling irl, we came out here so these assholes can find age-appropriate partners, and instead they’re kissing each other. Seems about right with this family, and clearly Striped Scarf’s dumb ass ships it.

-They look so much alike, it’s meant to be!

Yes, and they even share the same last name! Talk about written in the stars.

Thankfully Abhijeet is here to save us from incest by perving on Cyneswith. GTFO ABHIJEET. Anyone like ‘bro townies just autonomously come to greet your sims on community lots regardless of age, stop calling them perverts’, see you in about 5 pics down.  

I try to have Shajar chat up Striped Scarf and suffice it to say Shaj ~stole her heart~ and presumably put it on this stick to wave around.

NO. CYNESWITH NO. I’m seriously having déjà vu of all the times I was like ‘NO. JOJO NO’, jfc.

Shajar is unsurprisingly exhibiting no interest in socializing with anyone around her, instead she’s trying every activity this terribly lit place has to offer, and she looks demented while doing it:

I’m feeling a primal urge to photoshop Darth Vader’s melted helmet on the bowling ball here, someone please remind me to do it for the heir vote photoshoot.

-HA. SUCK IT DENISE JACQUET

That’s Denise Jacquet?! I can’t tell who anyone is for shit anymore. The default replacements are a scourge upon premade brands, I’m getting rid of them pronto. Speaking of scourges, where the hell is your sister?

-Who cares?

I wanna say ‘me’ but we both know that’s a lie.

Oh ok, THERE SHE IS.

-So you see Cyneswith, just because something is technically ‘illegal’, doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong-

Yea yea fascinating stuff, now get out of the hot tub or I will fucking neuter you, I don’t know if a eunuch mod already exists for medieval games but I will make one if it doesn’t.

Here, Cyneswith, drink some water, have a nice G-rated convo with your sister about violins and stop pissing me off. 

-First of all this is straight vodka.

Great.

-Secondly Shajar is talking about Mozart’s coprophilia.

-I sure am.

Amazing. Well, I guess it’s at times like these when you need to look inside your heart and truly ask yourself, what did you expect from Jojo’s children.

ABHIJEET ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME DID YOU EVEN HEAR ME TALK ABOUT CASTRATION

-Ha, I went home and put on my most elderly-looking formal wear!

-I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave Ab <3

CYNESWITH SHUT UP. I can’t believe you people are actually making me miss Gunther’s teenage whoring, at least he kept it age appropriate.

-Is some random lady pressing her breasts against my head?

She most certainly is, Shajar, because it is now crystal clear that this bowling alley doubles as the site of annual perv townie convention and we walked right into it-

-and it’s also clear we have serious issues and are enjoying ourselves. Shaj I legit don’t know what to tell you, this is the first time you get along with someone right away and it just had to be the adult with the bad haircut and the flasher’s trench coat???

-You’re damn right it did.

Alright then, I’m officially going to nope out of this situation, safe in the knowledge you’re a noogiesexual and nothing will actually happen with this freak, so I’ll focus on Cyneswith instead who is much more of a loose canon. 

Here Cyn, talk to this guy, who I’m 90% sure is the same guy your father rejected in favor of stalking Stephen Tinker when he was your age.

-Ohhhh, he’s dreamy!

Omg really?? Halleluj-

-oh never mind, you were of course referring to adult ass Brandon Lillard. I do like that our townies have recurring roles each generation, we should make rejecting Blondie a rite of passage in this family. We should also officially gtfo because this is happening:

-Um, now that I’m looking at you in harsher lighting, it’s gonna be a no from me dawg. 

Oh, thank the fucking lord.

-Let’s celebrate the fact we didn’t get hopelessly obsessed with any adults here by doing the traditional Dance of Normality!

-We beat Dad’s genes, we beat Dad’s genes!

-We’re normal!

Yes, and we’re definitely showing it. Can we please leave now so I can make sure I’ve uninstalled Inteenminator and turn off free will? 

-Nop! Venue change!

-Got-out-of-the-car celebratory noogie!

-Made-it-to-the-door celebratory noogie!

Shajar you unironically have a noogie addiction, I’m not kidding in the slightest, you need to see a doctor.

Great, great, not another teen in sight and to top it off Denise followed us here to ensure maximum elder presence. I feel comfortable officially declaring this day a complete waste of time.

God, the vintage pink dress and the pink alcohol combo is some straight up current era Taylor Swift nonsense. That’s it, we’re outta here, back home where no one is lurking, waiting to strike at us-

-SOPHIE NOOOOOOOOOOOO💔💔💔💔💔

-The Lord is my shepherd.

NO HE ISN’T EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CAN’T HERD CATS PLEASE DON’T DIE

-Nop, I’m over it. Goodbye heathens, it’s been nice, hope you don’t find your paradise. 

UGH SOPHIE, my beloved Westboro lunatic, the last gangsta generation 1 cat we had.. I can’t believe you’re gone and all I’m left with is stupid Goro and D’vorah who can’t even beat up the fucking dog. This is truly painful.

Yes, pets, I agree, Kaylynn is completely to blame for Sophie dying of old age. The time has now come to decide on a cat heir-

-and since Goro ran away like a little bitch after Sophie’s death despite the fact he didn’t even like her, he’s automatically disqualified and will be going off to live on Melody and Daniel’s farm once returned to us. Congratulations to D’vorah I guess, on being the least terrible of two terrible options. 

On the topic of terrible heir options, Cyn has non-stop wants to go on dates and have her first kiss and all that crap, and since our Sunday morning clubbing was a bust we invite over the matchmaker.

-Hello there young Union, I see your house has been upgraded since I was last here.

Oh right we haven’t required your services since Daniel was a teen and we lived in a trailer, well we are flush with cash now!

-Hopefully your payment reflects that.

It will!! Just please give us someone good, I can’t deal with single teen Cyn for one more second.

-Oh my, what a beautiful BLANK PIECE OF PAPER.

WHAT!? NO THAT’S 5K IT’S JUST A SNOW GLITCH 

-What do I look like to you, a money thawing service?

Does such a service.. exist??

-It does not, so I have to go home and use a hairdryer on this!

Just come inside and we’ll give you non-frozen money!

-No, no, you’ll get what you paid for..

-Have a magical time!

...

.........

......................

Lakshmi this was so fucking evil that I almost want to age you down and see if you and Shajar hit it off. 

-As if, the whole neighborhood knows what you did to Komei.

Helped him achieve his insane 6-pets-career LTW?

-Turned him into a servant while your sim was lounging around all day!

Oh yea I did do that. But Wyatt was also a townie and he does literally nothing, Jojo is the servant now!

-Only because Wyatt is too fucking stupid to do things! Word has gotten out, no townie will ever marry in this family again unless they’re brain dead, so it’s Wyatts only for you from now on, sister!

Well this has been a complete fucking disaster. It was great seeing you again, Lakshmi, thanks for the dream date with the adult farting machine, 5k well-spent.

Pretty sure it was you bro, and yes, how about we don’t do that again.

Wyatt has brought over Amanda from work! (Aka Victoria’s only friend and subsequent lesbian lover, who is really pretty and is definitely getting married in at some point, preferably after the brown hair genes have been weakened so we can go back to being gingers.)  

-Wow Shajar, your grandmother, God rest her soul, mentioned you were her favorite and now I can see why! Loving the Kylo Ren look!

-Is someone being genuinely nice to me?! What is happening?

-Yes, please stop being nice to her, Amanda, we don’t want her getting used to it.

Jojo istg.

-Cyneswith dear, tell Amanda all about how much money your grandmother left you so she can stop being nice to Shajar. 

-Soooo much money, Miss Amanda!

-Ah, what a polite child I’ve single-handedly raised.

-Now, Cyneswith, you really need to get back on the dating scene so you have ample time to find the perfect spouse and continue our line, since you’re clearly the only one of my children that is remotely heir material. 

-Dad, Shajar and Wulf are right next to you.

-Oh they are? I’m wearing my special contact lenses that make those disappointments invisible to me, but even better, they need to hear this. Shajar is a noogiesexual and thus incapable of reproduction, and Wulf is not even a Union, I mean have you seen that kid? Wyatt reproduced by himself like the amoeba he is. Now, your grandmother-

-YOU MENTIONED ME 3 TIMES AND HERE I AM

OH FUCK VICTORIA, deleting the default replacements gave you base game hair!!!!

-That’s the part you’re scared by, not my Beetlejuicesque entrance?

There’s literally nothing scarier than your ghost sporting this haircut for all eternity, I’m re-downloading that default immediately. 

-Oh mom, so good to see you! Let me just hug my beloved child, Shijer-

-Shajar, dad.

-SHAJAR, let me hug Shajar, like I do all the time. 

-I’m glad to see you’re not picking favorites among your children like I did, the way I treated David-

-Daniel, mom.

-DANIEL, is the one thing I’ve truly been regretting in the afterlife. That and not skinning Marisa Bendett alive when I had the chance. 

-Well, as you can see by Shajar’s totally normal and not at all shocked reaction to my hug, I am a wonderful, fair, and emotionally available father. 

(Bruh this freaked me out so much when it happened, I mean I KNOW it’s an animation glitch but I was convinced my sims had become sentient for a good while after)

-Is your grandmother’s ghost still on the premises?

-Yup. 

-When will this nightmare end, paying attention to you is the worst. 

-Ok she’s gone.

-FINALLY. Now it’s back to the crypt for you, and don’t you dare go complain to her urn!

-Ah, Stephen, Stephen, my life is crap and I can’t even🎵

And with the knowledge you have composed a theme song for Stephen Tinker, part 1 of the Union comeback update is concluded. Will Shajar’s sexual orientation reveal itself? Will Cyneswith find true love? Will Jojo become a werewolf? Will Wulf continue to be the only dignified member of this family? Will D’vorah have kittens? Will Wyatt do literally anything worth mentioning? Tune in for parts 2 & 3 to find out, unfollow button on the upper right corner for those who need it. 

[abbeyfangirl]

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum. 

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so. 

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 15x04 “Atomic Monsters”

in which Jensen’s directing blows my mind a little bit?? holy shit. also Dean is only eating phallic things... and the writer in me is reeling. SOMEONE TELL ME THAT WAS JENSEN SINGING THAT SONG PLEASE

--

07:01pm

mostly what i wanna do right now is eat and watch queer eye buuuut i guess i should watch this first. hopefully it’s fun?? i do not want my heart ripped out or to be squicked right now

-

07:04

oh no........ becky

i like her as a character but ew ew ew all of her life choices and the way she treats sam

fingers crossed for character development

PLEASE DON’T DIE

i mean .....i don’t LIKE her but still

-

07:08

i can’t tell if the audio on my video file is fucked up or whether there’s supposed to be a voiceover here while dean’s shooting people while wearing a very nice beard

because it’s very much drowned out

-

07:10

oh hey benny

soooo this is some kind of au fic maybe

-

i uh.... fully expected dean to kiss benny right then

-

07:13 

definitely a voiceover drowned out on purpose

vaguely heard “title” as the titlecard came up

okay, interesting

-

07:15

DEAN GOT VEGGIE BACON

yee

-

sam: YOU GOTTA STOP CALLING YOURSELF THE MEAT MAN, IT DOESN’T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS

OHHHHH SAMMY No i think he knows exactly what it means, and what it sounds like

-

dean: yeah it does

TOLD YOU. bi baby

-

07:18

real bacon

DEAN YOU VEGETABLE-HATING ASSHOLE

-

07:22

dean and his flask this season..... guess he’s gone back to quiet alcoholism

-

07:23

wow........ becky has not aged a DAY

-

07:27

becky: they just sit around and do laundry and talk

okay NOW i relate to becky

thank youuuu davy perez for letting her grow and recognize her awful awful awful mistakes

-

chuck: eeeeeeh, people like monsters

becky: meh

HELL YEAH

i mean i love monster stories but i love laundry more

-

07:29

there’s a tall cas doll in becky’s bookshelf, yay~

which.... honestly looks like a white tennis ball on a roll of paper with wings attached but still

-

07:33

cas is gone and dean is eating SO MUCH

> meat man bacon (textual penis euphemism)

> pretzels (twisted, salty rather than sweet, metaphor for Not Straight)

> alcohol (DESPAIR)

> hot dog (phallic)

-

i can’t put screenshots on my posts anymore bc tumblr sucks BUT

as dean’s sitting with the hot dog, in the shot that contains sam, there’s BISEXUAL BICYCLES

-

07:40

sam holds a hyponeedle behind his back

i’m wondering if they’d become a little out of character if chuck is writing them again

-

07:42

i’d say the orchid is significant

there’s a pink one in the house of the dad/mom/son, and the speech-making cheerleader mentioned ghost orchids

edit: nah

-

07:44

aww there’s a lil cas pop figure thingy!!! yay team free will!!!

-

07:45

chuck: fan..fic. it’s not really the same

becky: writing’s writing!!

YES BECKY

-

07:52

becky: no-one even mentions cas

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BECKY

-

07:54

flashback to the son biting the girl’s neck, the music kind of halfway there

the directing of this is fascinating

like a music video, it’s ethereal

and... you know when you hear JUST enough of a good chord from a song but you don’t hear the rest and it’s like MMM but just an inch away from satisfying but not in a bad way?? like breathing in a meal you’re not going to eat. like walking past a bakery and not going inside. you want it but you can’t have it, IT TEASES

AND I JUST LOOKED UP THE DIRECTOR AND IT’S JENSEN

WOW. OKAY DUDE 3000 KUDOS TO YOU

this isn’t a tv show, it’s art. like. he just made art. wow 

wowow

-

there are SO MANY LAYERS HERe, particularly in the audio

the kid talking, chuck’s voiceover, the music in the truck, the heartbeat and roaring sound effects, the kid and the girl breathing and grunting in the flashback

it’s like... sensory overload but at the same time it’s delicious

.....you know what?? this scene is beyond incredible, because not only is is beautiful for what it is, but also for what it represents

because i was just thinking that this feeling, this blast and blur of ALL THE THINGS ALL AT ONCE AT THE APEX OF EMOTION feels exactly like the part where i’m writing a story and everything’s happening so fast and i gotta type AS THINGS ARE HAPPENING and words just flood from my fingertips and my heart is pounding and the world no longer exists, i’m kind of out of my body but no longer have a body

and

like

that’s literally what’s happening. all of this. is chuck writing in that exact moment, unresponsive to becky, WRITING THINGS INTO EXISTENCE

i told my family a while ago, there are some stories only a Writer can write. when they write about being a Writer and you can tell it’s so personal and would be related to the most by other writers. and davy perez has done exactly this here, with becky being us, the fandom, but then there’s THIS

that flood of Everything All At Once is illustrated PERFECTLY, not just in the text, but the way jensen obviously understood the feeling and illustrated it in such a way that i didn’t even remember the layer of this story where chuck’s writing until i was all “hey this feels like that writer thing” and IT’S EXACTLY THAT

this is mind-blowing a little bit??? i really really love this

goddamn

-

08:09

ooooooh a vampire trying to save the winchesters from humans

-

08:11

.....who’s singing this song? kind of?? sounds like jensen???

it’s probably not jensen but 100% chance he picked the song

that long note as the girl’s taken out on the stretcher. oh man it REALLY sounds like jensen

....i listened again and....... the word “SOUnds”

no, yeah, that’s jensen. the way he kind of hurls a big note up through his chest yet it comes out soft with just that teeeeny touch of huskiness?? that’s gotta be jensen

if it’s not jensen i’ll be v surprised. might be a friend of his maybe. but there’s a personal connection there definitely

edit: NO IT HAS TO BE JENSEN. IT IS RIGHT??? SOMEONE TELL ME IT IS

*misha at jibcon voice* we get a tingly feeling when we hear it so we know it’s you

-

08:17

becky: it’s AWFUL. HOPELESS. you can’t do this to the fans

i can’t tell if that textual awareness combined with my dread about the upcoming ending of the show makes me glad the writers understand, or worried that they understand but are gonna give us a dark, hopeless ending anyway

-

08:20

did the voiceover just say “bexy becky”

-

08:23

dean: now that chuck’s gone... we are..... finally free

oh no baby

oh no

-

08:26

laughing bc the ending was just “next to him sit dean and sam bobbleheads”

the end

guess it’s kind of a cause-and-effect thing. chuck types, they wobble

-

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MAN

at least becky’s not dead right?? at least according to chuck talking about her family

CHUCK IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST.

i’m so glad becky is a stable, healthily creative human who obeys consent now and is repulsed by what she did to sam

i probably don’t need to say it again but the directing in this was phenomenal, if highly unusual compared to other episodes. there was a lot of... force in it? actually now i think it about it, it had jensen’s energy. smooth and flowing with smacks of Hell Yeah and some twangs of discomfort thrown in.

also dean’s food was phallic, fight me

i think the bicycles thing probably meant less than the food did, jensen’s way more straightforward with his dick jokes. like, if he’s gonna be gay, he goes for it, doesn’t hide it in the background. someone else put those bicycles there, and he was probably like “ok sure”.

(also? dean’s “nice beaver” quip, followed by the fact that THE PERSON INSIDE THE BEAVER FURSUIT IS A GUY)

i bet i’m gonna get on tumblr after this and someone’s gonna be like “hey here’s the song that was in this episode and yeah it’s off jensen’s new album”

i’m interested to see where this story goes next. but also WOW, i’m not into the fact chuck is manipulating the storyline again and the winchesters aren’t aware of it. curious flip regarding consent issues, with chuck and becky. now chuck’s the violator and becky’s the voice of reason

anyway this was 10/10, and i’m happy to report that after i got past the scene with the red lights in the bunker, and made it to the brothers eating bacon, i’d completely forgotten i wanted to be watching something else and began to fully enjoy this episode~ yay