#this girl is going to be So disappointed when i show up and i look like a chubby werewolf in a dress

[respectthepetty]

Pride Petty Watch (SOTUS) 1/5

The crowd picked two blacklisted shows for me to watch during Pride, which were Love in the Air and The Untamed, and so even though I finished the first, I've stalled on the second, and it's all because of the beast named SOTUS. I watched this show when it aired in 2016, but I don't remember any of it. All I remember is that I'm very mad at it, yet this was the wild card show that was unlocked during the voting, so instead of fearing this show so much that I cannot bring myself to finish The Untamed, I'm going straight to the big boss, and fighting this demon NOW!

It's me and the gear in a battle until the very end, and even though I cannot remember a single thing about this show, as soon as I pressed play, all the hate in my body rose to the surface, so I already know this is going to be a ~journey~

First and foremost, I'm going to give this show and Krist a compliment because I HATE Arthit, which is exactly what I should be doing in the first episode. He is 🎶The Worst🎶 and he leans all the way into it. He snarls. He yells. He forces a girl to give him her number through mere power dynamics and sexism, and this isn't just 2024-me thinking this. 2016-me knows that this character is written well because the worst thing Arthit can think of doing to another man is making him say he is gay.

Then to casually whisper in that man's ear that he could find him a skirt to wear . . .

Arthit really is the epitome of the homophobe-to-homo character and I can't believe that it worked in 2016 since I feel that was late for a character like this to still be a love interest, yet it's still working so well in 2024 because here I am, pissed, pressed, and ready to fuck him up for being the douchiest bro in this damn cafeteria. It's refreshing how much I'm allowed to hate him.

Because even the way he screams Kongpob's name with his student ID every fucking two seconds is setting me off.

And I'm very disappointed in BL Land for only ONE video existing of him screaming Kongpob's name, and it's only the times from the first half of the first episode. Thanks, OP, but we are slacking!

But, honestly, if I had a boy who looked up at me like this every time I screamed his name, I'd probably be a lot worse than Arthit. You know, instigating fights and hands on me or something like that.

And now I'm questioning this series because if these two would just choke each other out then kiss, I would be fully for it and enjoying all my snacks along the way. I'd be fine with Kongpob telling the entire room he would make Arthit his bitch, but Kongpob instead says he'll make Arthit his wife, and . . . the vibe is not as kinky as I need it to be to support all that is being thrown at me from these two.

Which is why I'm heavily shipping Kongpob with M! Kongpob got in trouble for having two books, one which was M's, and had to say he liked men. Now, they are drunk at this table with homophobe Arthit and the hazers are staring them down while Kongpob is just holding M's face.

But let me actually rewatch this show instead of reflecting on how GMMTV messed this enemies AND lovers premise up twice (looking at you, Dangerous Romance) because right now, this show is trying to make me believe the girls would not wave hello to a babyface Off.

Once again, back to the actual rewatch, and because I don't remember a thing about this, I don't know if Wad is good or bad, but him busting out this move when Prem told him to apologize was equivalent to an older white Southern Christian woman telling someone to have a blessed day, so I felt that shade through the screen!

And I'm not victim-blaming, but I do actually think Kongpob and Arthit are trying to push each buttons to see who will break first and fuck (up) the other one because this is not a sane answer to "why did you stay?" when the possibility of the hazers physically harming someone is extremely high.

I only see my Kongpob and M ship now because when Arthit asked if anyone knew M, Kongpob immediately stood up and knew his entire life story. I have known my best friends for decades, and I still could not recite half of that information. Kongpob, what are the heterosexual reasons for you know any of this information about M?

JAN!

Once again, Arthit is 🎶The Fucking Worst🎶 because instead of just taking his L, he made Kongpob say everyone's damn name, then ripped up May's name tag, only to scold Kongpob for giving her his, and now the kids are passing out from his ridiculous physical activities! As a member of a Greek-letter organization who was hazed because that was the culture of the time period, Arthit is being soooooo messy!

Hear me out - Kongpob and M would be so good together! Arthit is the antagonist. Kongpob is the protagonist who meets a sweet quiet boy on his first day of orientation. He helps the sweet quiet boy come out of his shell and watches over him. He cares for him. THEY FALL IN LOVE!

But instead I'm getting a love interest who nominated Kongpob because he knows he is cute, yet can't admit it because ~internalized homophobia~ Ryan from The OC would have never treated Seth this way, and they were in the early 2000s. What is your excuse, Arthit?! The show wants me to hate you, and for that, I'm thankful.

But I could never hate Minnie! Arthit came up quick like he was protecting the boys from Minnie being a predator, but Minnie would NEVER! I could never fear Minnie with the bisexual scarf? And now MDL is telling me the actor has only acted in one other series and that series is Deep Night. Gold star resume, and I truly mean that.

Look at them. LOOK AT THEM! Tell me they don't look good together. Tell me they wouldn't have wrecked every other ship. This is why I need GMMTV to let these MEN (no longer boys) kiss their homies. Kongpob x M. Singto x New. I ship it.

*punching walls and ripping doors off hinges* Kongpob gets kicked out the group and the FIRST one to stand up for him is the boy he loves (it's canon to me and IDGAF what the story's gotta say about it). Quiet and sweet M finds his voice just so he can ask to have Kongpob back. THEY ARE IN LOVE!

Arthit is wildin' out here trying to gaslight Kongpob with this bullshit of "if you keep helping out your friends, then they'll never stand on their own." Sir, you wanna fuck Kongpob so bad, you look stupid.

AND KONGPOB SAYS IT!

I cannot stress enough how kinky this is and could have been if 2016 BL Land was allowed to lean into this because Kongpob has already established through his actions that he likes showing up for the punishments, and here he says the quiet part very loudly - Arthit likes punishing him.

Taking a break from the kink to point out that GMMTV was always going to get My Love Mix-Up because in 2016, May's friend said that "In Japan, if you write down the name of your crush on an eraser and use it, that person will love you"

Then we have May asking for an eraser and keeping it just so she can write Kongpob's name on it. But who gets upset about it? M! Because he loves Kongpob and I'm not accepting that he likes May just like Atom realized he liked a boy instead of girl eight years later. M loves Kongpob. That is my truth!

And here comes the kink lite again! Kongpob could leave. He doesn't have to take this verbal abuse from Arthit. He doesn't have to eat that damn spicy ass plate of food. He doesn't have to finish it either because Arthit gets up and leaves, yet HE DOES! Because he likes this treatment. This makes sense if it's sadomasochism, and that will guide me through these next couple of episodes.

Because the decision to make Arthit the one who likes pink milk is a choice, and now I want an entire TED Talk on how Arthit is probably the most well done homophobic bully with internationalized homophobia falling in love with the boy he is bullying.

Because, joke's on him, the guy he falls for is into that kind of shit.

And all of this happens so we can end with Kongpob getting pink milk for himself after he finished an entire spicy meal that he didn't need to since he enjoys being punished should make me so happy, but the show is trying to lighten Arthit's behavior by having him pay for the bill (and get the freshmen food, and having been hazed himself, and blah blah blah) instead of just letting the toxicito be toxic and Kongpob being into it.

I never thought I'd write this, but I don't want Arthit to be tamed. I want him to be so much worse.

[x-gabrielle-x]

Withered Cards | III

Pairings: Jason Todd x Reader.

Warnings: Blood, gore, violence, murder, swearing, major and minor injuries, death.

Summary: Despite the many different problems you overcome with Jason Todd, you always eventually make it back to each other. Even after his death, how could you still love a man who changed so much? Even when you made a turn for the worst.

Series Masterlist

Jason Todd 5:48am

"Mistakes are not something you can afford to make, Jason," Bruce commented, though his gaze was trained on the screen before him. "I told you this was an intel mission. You should have waited for my queue."

I adjusted my position on the chair I was currently sat on, my gaze burning into Bruce's back the longer he continued to stare at the projective computer before him. The tape that he had collected from the mission played on repeat, and truthfully, it was becoming painful having to rewatch it over and over.

Yes, I had been given strict orders to merely stay hidden within the shadows and report back to Batman with the intel I was instructed to gather, but I wanted to do more than be a sidekick to gather information.

“How was that a mistake?” I retorted, pointing to the screen. “If I hadn’t gone, you would have never known what was happening down there.”

Finally, Bruce turned in his chair, his voice just as deep as always. Like a parent scolding his child - which was true to an extent.

"You're telling me that you found out what that whole ordeal was about?" He questioned, gesturing a hand to the screen. "Because it sure doesn't look like you do."

It angered me more than I would have liked to admit that he was mostly right. The most I knew was that the Joker was up to something, but when was he not? The best possible answer I got was that he has an alliance of some sort. The girl seemed to be around my age, possibly younger, and yet she was one of the most skilled fighters I've fought. She was experienced, and no doubt deadly.

My nose ached from the harsh punch she had thrown, the wet rag that was now soaked with crimson blood was discarded beside me.

When Bruce noticed my silence, he continued to ignore me from then on. His fingers dancing along the computer and leaving an uncomfortable silence I wished to break.

Alfred walked in with a tray of coffee; something Bruce had waved him off to go and grab whilst he worked. Whilst the silence lingered, Alfred's gaze flickered up to the screen of the masked girl.

"I do not recognize this criminal," Alfred spoke as he settled the tray down. "Have we seen this girl before?"

Bruce shook his head, a frown etched on his features. "No, but there have been witnesses. Apparently, she's only showed up around Gotham the past two months."

Alfred hummed. “And what does this criminal do, exactly?”

Bruce pushed his body away from the desk with a long sigh, his brows still pinched into a deep frown as his hand dragged down his face. “Jason’s body cam just managed to pick up a little of their conversation before she ran off. The Joker is in on this, too. She knows him, and well.”

My curiosity was piqued. What was the Joker's intentions, now? Surely it was another scheme to lure Batman into a trap.

“Perhaps another laughing gas?” Alfred suggested as he glanced over at me, gesturing toward the tea as he offered to pour some, but I shook my head.

"Not a laughing gas," I concluded, digging into the suit that I still wore. I pulled out the familiar vial that I had managed to snatch from the masked girl, holding it up for everybody's view. "I'm thinking maybe a drug, or maybe some sort of crazy mutation serum!" I looked between the two, a satisfied smirk on my face.

Bruce remained silent for a moment, his gaze never leaving the vial in my hand. I was expecting praise, a congratulations, maybe even a pat on the back and allowed more freedom whilst on patrol. But Bruce's face remained stoic.

"Jason," he started, tone very far from what I had expected. Was it anger? Disappointment? Shock?

He was quick to saunter over and take the vial from my hand, analyzing it carefully as he twisted it in his grasp.

With a shake of his head, his frown deepened. If that were even possible. He placed the vial carefully onto the desk beside the computer.

"You're too reckless," he began. "Not only did you go against my orders, but now you are involved with a crime much deeper than what you can handle. You've put yourself in danger. And not only yourself," he pointed to the screen again. "But you got her in danger, too.

I felt my anger boil, ready to spill over any second. Could Bruce not see my success for once? Could he not give me the approval I desperately wished for? It was risky, but I got the job done.

"I did what I had to," I defended, the anger evident in my voice as I took a step closer.

Bruce quickly snapped back. "And what you did was wrong."

A pause.

"Next time something like this happens, you follow my order... otherwise the title of Robin goes to somebody else."

In the heat of my rage, I stormed past both Bruce and Alfred and made my way out of the Batcave, cape flowing behind me with every long stride. Before the door had slammed shut behind me, I just managed to hear a little of Alfred's voice.

"They're both just children, Master Wayne," he tried. "Much like you once were."

"I cant have him making more mistakes."

Y/N Y/L/N 5:27am

A harsh slap landed against my cheek, my head snapping to the side from the force. The burning sensation left behind caused for my eyes to sting with tears, my vision blurred.

His maniacal laughter was all i could hear despite the ringing in my ears, and I didn't fail to notice the very evident annoyance behind each deep inhale of laughter.

"I cant believe it!" Joker paced. "You really let that little rodent slip past your fingers, just like that? My, my, I might have placed just a little too much faith in you."

He crouched down before me, masking a frown as his thumb came up to swipe the blood from my lip. My tongue darted out to swipe at the cut he had left, the metallic taste lingering in my mouth.

"I must say I am very disappointed," Joker hummed, but oddly enough his hand came to rest on my shoulder, like an odd way of comforting. "But that's why there's always room to learn from mistakes!"

The vial that I was sent to retrieve merely a few hours ago was no longer tucked away safely in my pocket.

I had only realized once I was in front of Joker's latest warehouse that he used as a current hideout, my hands searching every pocket, each shoe in search for the vial. Robin had managed to slip it out without me noticing, and it enraged me.

He was fast, skilled, and very obviously sly. Although it was a tough fight, it brought some adrenaline and excitement into my night. Something I had craved for a while.

Joker clicked his tongue in thought, now sat on a torn couch across from me with his leg propped up on his knee.

"You'll make it up to me, right, my little clown?" his tone was almost mocking. "Perhaps next time you might run into the little birdy again, oh, that would spice things up!"

I inhaled a shaky breath. "I'll get it back," I said, but he waved me off.

"Nah, I'll just get the doc to make me a new one. Although, we cant afford any more mistakes now, can we, Y/N?"

He looked at me expectingly, dread washing over me the longer his gaze pierced my own.

"No, we cant."

"That's my girl!" He clapped his hands. "Harley! Come get the poor girl cleaned up, will ya? She looks like she's been through hell!" He let out a loud cackle at what he considered a joke, slapping his knee.

Harley's head popped from around the corner of the cracked wall, pigtails swinging with every movement she made. With one look at me, she was rushing over.

"Puddin, what happened?" She practically squealed, ushering me to stand up, though the small smile never left her lips. "Oh dear, lets get you all nice and cleaned up!"

The bathroom that she had practically dragged me into smelt of urine and had broken tiles scattered across the floor. Mold was growing along the ceiling and puddles of water crowded at the base of the sink. I had to hold back the look of disgust when Harley took a small rag and wet it under some water.

It wasn't long until Harley was finally finished with dabbing my split lip with the cold water and tending to the few cuts I had littered over my flesh. It was a poorly done job, but the moment I got to step into my own small room - a storage space that barely managed to fit the worn mattress I used to sleep on, I was instantly flopping down.

It was quiet and dark, but nothing I wasn't already used to. I enjoyed having some time away from the two clowns, after all.

Looking over, I reached for the same small bear that I've kept over the years, only now it wasn't as soft as it used to be, and the familiar smell of my old home was gone from the fur. Instead, it was now covered in dirt and grime. A button had been sewn on poorly as an eye after the last had fallen off, and its right arm was barely hanging on by a thread. Still, I carefully held it against my body as I laid on my side, alone and tense.

My mind refused to settle, thoughts swarming with the Robin boy who had managed to make my night go from alright to horrific in only a few hours.

He had outplayed me - tricked me - and still somehow, he had managed to get my mind swimming. Our fight was oddly thrilling, and it confused me with his cocky comments. Batman was nowhere to be seen, meaning that Robin had let me go. Why?

My knuckles had tightened their hold on the bear, a reminder of my life before any of this had happened. I didn't dwell on it, knowing that there was no way back. But the sadness lingered once I buried my face into the soft fur, allowing for the sleep to catch up to me. As usual it was never a peaceful one, but instead filled with nightmares and an all too familiar wide grin.

@annabellelee @stormz369

©x-gabrielle-x. Do not steal, copy or translate my works.

[fridayyy-13th]

i'm going to a queer school event tomorrow but i'm literally feeling so paranoid about it. what if my mom checks life360 while i'm there, then looks up which event is at that location, and puts the very obvious two and two together. if i put on airplane mode to freeze my location, what if she texts me and freaks out when i don't respond for a good few hours. what if a family friend somehow spots me there and passes the information along. i really wanna go and connect with other queer people here but holy SHIT the thought i could inadvertently out myself simply by taking my phone along is terrifying.

[skitskatdacat63]

2005 British Grand Prix - Juan Pablo Montoya, Fernando Alonso + Kimi Räikkönen(my personal post-race highlights)

+ Bonus Jenson Button

[jananimal813]

So I’m watching Once Upon a Time

I never finished watching it back when it was airing. And I guess I stopped around the middle of season 6. No memory of these episodes.

Now, they have pulled a lot of wild shit on this show. Like after Peter Pan being Rumples father, I didn’t think anything else they did could rattle me.

But.

Belle and Rumples son.

First of all.

For fucks sake, stop getting back with him belle, omfg, I can’t fucking take it anymore. (Really reached a new low when Emma was blackmailing the freshly re-dark-one-ed gold with telling belle about it. Like bitch aren’t you supposed to be her friend? Did Snow know that was going on? She was okay with that? None of these bitches give a single shit about belle apparently…but that want my point here sorry)

So they have a kid. Sure. For some reason, there has to be a birth scene every season apparently.

And then it immediately gets taken away and comes back grown. Yup. Par for the course.

But.

They have finally broken my suspended disbelief.

By having this man…

Be the grown child of these two…

Just….naw my dudes. Nope. Not even a little bit do I buy this.

[inbabylontheywept]

bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.

[toadtoru]

CLIMB THE MINOTAUR

you’re excited to be chosen as a sacrifice and finally be able to get a proper look at the so-called minotaur. you’re thoroughly disappointed to find out it’s just some tall tattoed guy with four arms.

pairing: trueform sukuna x sacrifice f! reader contents: smut, monsterfucking, sukuna has two dicks, virginity loss (sukuna), cervix-fucking, mentions of cannibalism and killing, greek gods and myths, degradation, name-calling (brat, woman, whore) alba’s note: this came to me in a vision and i was compelled to write it. and then it turned way longer than i anticipated. hee hee. wordcount: 4.8k

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

You’re known to be peculiar. A little weird.

Growing up in Crete, you’ve always heard the stories of the Minotaur. A giant beast that lives in a labyrinth underneath the palace where King Minos lives.

No one really knows how the beast came to live, but it’s said that one day a big white bull showed up on the beach and nine months later Queen Pasiphae birthed the minotaur.

It’s not something that most dare to say out loud, but when it’s dark out and the bards are drunk enough the real songs come out at the crowded taverns.

Pasiphae, the queen who fucked the bull.

Every year a week-long festival is held where young women and men are sacrificed to the bull. It’s supposed to keep the monster at bay. It has a taste for human flesh. Apparently, the first thing it did when it was cut out of its mother’s womb, was to eat the nurse’s hand.

You know you should be filled with dread that a flesh-eating monster lives just underneath the palace. What’s stopping it from leaving its maze and coming for you?

But you just feel intrigued.

You know that it’s not normal. Other girls your age dream of heroes who slay dragons and save princesses. Yet your dreams are filled with a giant monster with a man’s body and a bull’s head, and you haven’t quite figured out if they’re nightmares or just that; dreams.

When you’re chosen to be sacrificed you can’t tell if the emotions toiling inside you are dread or excitement. Maybe it’s a mix of both?

You’re brought to the palace where you’re put in a dress, much prettier than anything you’ve ever owned. You know everyone expects you to scream and cry. That’s what all the other ones have done.

But you just stay quiet.

It only increases the sneers as you’re paraded around. The sacrificial maiden. Thank her for her humble sacrifice to save us from the hunger of the minotaur.

And when the day comes you’re led down a dark passage in the castle. Further and further and further down until the air turns chilly and the only light is from the torches the soldiers escorting you carry.

The entrance to the maze is surprisingly just a small door. Made of metal, there are several locks on the outside. The guard unlocks them one by one.

“Are you ready?”

It’s the first time any of them have spoken to you. You look at the guard beside you. He smiles and unlocks the chains around your wrist. You’re surprised they even bothered to put them on. You haven’t shown a sign of wanting to escape the entire time.

“I guess,” you reply, watching as the guard in front of you unlocks the last lock. You massage your sore wrists and wince.

“Why are you removing these? Wouldn’t it be easier to let them stay on,” you ask. The guard smiles again. This time it’s more sinister.

“It likes the chase,” he replies. You raise a brow. You wonder how he knows that. No one on the outside of the maze has ever seen the minotaur besides its mother and the handless maid. No one on the inside of the maze has ever lived to tell anyone about their experience.

The guard in front of you scoffs.

“Alright, get in there. I want to go home. Wife’s making chicken stew.” he says. You walk towards the door. The guard opens it. The one behind you swiftly pushes you in.

They go to close the door, but you place yourself between the the small gap before he can. The guards frown.

“Don’t make me push you again,” one of them says.

“At least give me a torch. Can you see how dark it is down here?” you ask. The guards share a look.

“You’re awfully calm for a little girl,”

“I’m not a little girl,” you huff. The guard shrugs. Then he hands you one of their torches.

“Sure. It’ll just make it easier for it to find you,” he says. You move back so they can close the door properly.

It will also make it easier for me to see him.

The door is closed and you look out towards the maze. Apart from the little light your torch provides, it’s pitch black. All you can see is stonewalls. You give the door behind you one last look.

“Well, I guess there’s only one way to go,” you mutter, as you walk further into the maze. You have no idea if you’ve walked for hours or minutes. Everywhere is the same, stone, stone, stone. You take turn after turn, keeping your hand against the wall on your right side.

You listen as closely as you can, after hooves on the floor or grunts coming, but the only thing you can hear is your heartbeat and the slow crackle of the torch on your left.

Annoyed, you sigh. “Some chase,” you huff as you look around. It’s cold and wet by now, and your dress does nothing to shield you from the chilly air.

That’s when you see it; red eyes staring at you in the darkness. He’s too far away for your torch to illuminate him, but you can see enough, that he’s tall and big. Your breath hitches, but you can hardly react before he moves towards you. You prepare yourself for incoming death, yet you’re excited to finally see the great minotaur. You wonder how big his horns are if they curl–

Wait, what?

You furrow your brows. The shadow moving towards you doesn’t have horns. Instead, it’s a giant man with four arms. He’s strong, with big muscles and scars all over his body, along with black tattoos on his chest and arms and he’s only wearing a pair of ragged pants. Four pairs of ruby eyes glare at you as he opens his mouth, revealing a pair of sharp fangs, ready to rip open your throat.

“You’re not a bull,”

The monster, or rather, man halts. He looks confused, as though he’s not entirely sure what to do.

“You’re just some guy!” you continue, crossing your arms over your chest. “Where’s your bull's head!”

The monster blinks. His arms which were previously reaching out for you, ready to grab you, are now awkwardly hanging down his sides.

“What?” His voice is coarse, as though he hasn’t used it for a long time. “You’re supposed to have horns! A bull's head!” you accuse.

“Who told you that?” he asks, lips turning downward in a growl.

“Everyone!”

“Stupid rumours,���

You stand there for a while, staring at each other. The guy awkwardly rubs his neck with his top left arm. He clearly doesn’t know what to do. Maybe he’s not used to his victims blaming him for not being scary enough. Or animal enough? What exactly you were expecting, he isn’t sure. All he knows is that you’re thoroughly disappointed.

You sigh and walk up to him. You examine his arms, before you look up at his face. He glares at you. You raise your brows.

The guy’s hot. You can’t deny that.

He shakes his head, before turning around and walking away. You watch him go for a bit before you decide to follow him.

“Aren’t you going to eat me or something?” you ask.

“Lost my appetite,” he replies, not looking back towards you. You continue to follow him, your eyes trailing the black tattoos on his back.

“Where are we going?” you ask. The man stops, causing you to collide with his back.

“I’m going home. You’re not going anywhere,” he states, looking down at you over his shoulder. You step back, looking around the passage you’re in. Stones and stones are all you see.

You decide you are going with the man whether he likes it or not. You’d rather do that than spend the night alone in the maze.

He doesn't say anything as you walk to the place he calls home. You’re delighted when you enter a relatively small chamber. There’s not much more than a bed, a kitchen, a dining table and several books lying around. The latter surprises you, but then again, it’s probably kept him from going completely insane. You wonder who taught him how to read. It is not something just anyone can do.

On the table, there’s a sort of stew. It’s still hot, it can hardly have been there for long. He grabs himself a bowl, before handing one to you. You tentatively grab it, suspiciously eyeing the meat.

He rolls his eyes. “Relax. It's rabbit,” he replies, handing you a spoon. You sit down, slightly wide-eyed.

“There are rabbits down here?” you ask and the man nods.

“Animals venture down here all the time. You don’t actually think I can survive from a couple of sacrifices once a year, do you?” he asks.

You stare at the stew. In all honesty, you’d never really given it that much thought. In hindsight, it feels a little stupid. Like you’ve been caught right in your very own net of assumptions.

“What’s your name?” you slowly ask. He stops eating, looking at you. It’s like he considers what to say for a while, before coming to a conclusion.

“Sukuna,” he replies. You hum.

“Sukuna,” you repeat, and Sukuna grunts, eating a spoonful of his stew. You give him your name, but he hardly seems to register it as he shrugs.

You sit like that in silence, both just eating the stew. Once you’re done Sukuna stands up, stretching his arms. You watch with fascination.

“I’m going to bed. It’s late,” he grumbles, before shrugging off his pants.

You gape, staring. Sukuna stands before you, completely naked. Your eyes trail his body, watching his tattoos, leading down, down, down.

No way.

The fucker has two cocks. You swallow, watching the gigantic things between his legs. They’re almost pretty. Wait, are you turned on right now?

“Do you always sleep naked?” you ask, voice coming out smaller than you’d like.

Sukuna grunts. You take that as a yes. He walks past you, lying down on his bed and turning his back to you. You huff.

Is he seriously going to bed right now?

Tentatively, you look around the small chamber. Kitchen, table, bed, books. There’s hardly anything else.

The bed is big enough for two.

You’re not entirely sure what comes over you. Maybe it’s the dull throbbing in your core or the warm stew clouding your mind, but you take off your dress and undergarments and lay down on the bed, slipping under the covers.

Unable to look at Sukuna’s broad back any longer, you turn around, laying on your side. You feel him turning around as well, feeling his breathing against your neck.

“What are you doing?”

“Going to sleep,”

“In my bed?” You can’t entirely tell if Sukuna’s angry or just exasperated. Maybe it’s a mix of both.

“Do you see any other beds here?”

Sukuna scoffs, but he doesn’t make a move to push you out. You take that as a victory, settling into the bed. Sukuna’s body radiates with heat behind you, almost like a furnace.

You lay like that for a while, wondering how this has all happened. Why hasn’t Sukuna hurt you yet?

“Do you know what I think?” you say after a little thinking.

“No,”

“I think you’re lonely. I think you want someone to care for you,” you say.

“That’s ridiculous,” Sukuna replies. He doesn’t sound at all convinced.

But there has to be a reason as to why he hasn’t killed you yet, right? Don’t monsters get lonely too?

“Is it really? Or is it just human?” you ask.

“I’m not human,”

“Some part of you must be,” you hum. You lay in silence for a while. You inch closer to Sukuna.

“Have you ever been with a girl, Sukuna?” you ask. You must have lost your mind at this point. You can feel his length against your ass and the mere size of the thing makes you drool. He grunts. You move around under the sheets, pretending to get comfortable, but making sure to rub your ass against his cock, feeling it twitch to life. A giant hand finds your hip.

“Stop that,” Sukuna says. He sounds almost... flustered? You sigh. “I’m just getting comfortable.”

“I’ll throw you on the floor,”

“So mean, big guy,”

It’s too late. His cocks are already awake. You can feel them both coming alive against you, slowly growing.

Sukuna takes a shaky breath. You wiggle some more. The hand on your hip doesn’t stop you.

“You’ve never wanted to try? It must be so lonely down here for you,” you say. His hand digs into your skin. You make circular motions. His breaths grow more laboured.

“All alone, with no one to share these cold nights with,” your tone is teasing. You turn around so you’re facing him. Lidded eyes stare back at you.

“Don’t you wanna know what it’s like?”

Sukuna is no idiot. He knows what you mean. He can feel the heat radiating from your core, every instinct in him telling him to just get on top of you and fuck you till his balls are empty.

You infuriate him. Why aren’t you afraid of him? Why aren’t you screaming or crying for help? Running away? Why is your bare body pressed up against him and why is his groin reacting this way? Why do you smell so good?

Why are you so fucking weird?

The only thing that holds him back is his curiosity. How far will you go to get what you want? How weird are you really?

You want it bad. Or you’re just really weird. A hand comes down to stroke his top cock in languid motions. “Come on, Kuna,” you sigh, free hand snaking up around his neck. Your lips ghost his. The sudden use of a nickname makes Sukuna shudder slightly.

“Fuck me, please,” you whisper. Sukuna closes his eyes. You remove your hand from his cock, to grab one of his, bringing it to your sopping core.

“Feel how wet it is,” you whisper. You lashes fan his face as you kiss the corner of his lips. “It’s all for you,”

Sukuna’s brows furrow as you run his fingers through your folds. You are truly dripping. Almost have been since you saw those two cocks. Your mouth salivates at the thought of being fucked silly on them.

Sukuna closes his eyes. You’re about to give up when you feel his thumb rub your clit. You gasp and Sukuna’s eyes shoot open.

“Are you really that desperate?” he asks, almost angrily, as he quickly shifts to be on top of you. One pair of hands on either side of your face, caging you in as his other is on your hip.

His last hand is still cupping your cunt, as he tsks and shakes his head.

“Can’t believe they sent me a whore,” he mutters. With one hand still beside your face, two others grab the back of your thighs and pull them to your chest. You gasp, now completely exposed to him and Sukuna grins.

“I’m not a whore,” you reply, pouting and Sukuna grins, experimentally rubbing his fingers along your folds. You whine as he sticks a finger inside your cunt, curling his digit. Immediately, his finger stretches you out, and Sukuna hums.

He sticks another in, and another, till you feel stuffed. Your hands roam his chest before the hand beside your head grips your wrists and pulls them above your head. You’re utterly helpless; thighs and hands pinned down.

The sloppy sound of your cunt fills the cave as he continues to stretch you open. You whine and moan, attempting to buck your hips up into his chest.

“That feels good, huh? You like being stuffed like this?” Sukuna asks, and you’re not even sure if it’s rhetorical or not. He explores your body with a weird sort of interest that makes your stomach turn with desire. It’s like you're nothing but a toy to him.

“Answer me,”

“Yes,” you whine, throwing your head around. “Feels good,”

Sukuna’s grin widens. Your walls clench down on him as he curls his fingers into your G-spot. A whine is wretched from your throat and Sukuna halts his actions. You gasp for air before he presses again and you moan loudly.

“Fuck,” you say. The corner of Sukuna’s lips turns upward. His cocks are aching between his legs. Dripping precum all over his sheets and your messy cunt. He doesn’t know why his body reacts this way, but it’s not long before he can’t wait anymore, removing his digits and instead aligning his lower cock with your entrance.

He pushes in and you scrunch your eyes shut, pleasure shooting through your body. It’s like you’re on fire. Inch by inch, Sukuna bullies his thick cock into your tight little cunt. You gasp and writhe, but Sukuna’s got you exactly where he’d like.

“Gods,” Sukuna mumbles. He watches where his thick cock spreads you open, your lips obscenely stretched to accommodate his hefty size. It’s so tight and warm and wet, slick dripping out of you and down your ass.

He looks up at your face. Your eyes are still closed, your mouth slightly agape, your face flushed and sweaty. You’re so full you can hardly think.

“Should’ve gone out much sooner.” Sukuna mumbles. With one pair of hands digging into your thighs, folding you in half, another hand finds your chin, angling your face down to where your bodies are connected. His other cock lies on top of your stomach, reaching all the way to your belly button.

“Look at yourself. Do you like being split open by a monster?” he asks and you whine, opening your eyes and watching him enter you. You gasp when you see he’s not even fully in, yet you feel so stuffed already.

“You’re not a m– monster,” you gasp. Your thighs begin to shake at the stretch of it all, but Sukuna pays it no mind. He replies with a grunt, before slamming his hips into yours, fully seathing himself inside. The whine that leaves you is utterly sinful.

Sukuna frowns, feeling the pressure build in his abdomen. You’re so tight. His cock hardly fits inside, and yet you’re still clamping down on him, causing his cock to throb. He’s unable to resist your inviting heat, causing his hips to stutter against yours a couple of times before he comes deep inside you. His cock throbs as he paints your insides white, filling you to the brim. It’s so much that it spills out of your abused little hole.

His brows furrow together as he delivers a few pitiful thrusts. You gasp at the feeling, your hips bucking uselessly.

“Kuna, did you just–“

Before you can finish your sentence, Sukuna pulls out and flips you around, two hands holding your hips in place, as a third one pushes your head into the sheets underneath you. He uses the fourth hand to position himself, before he slams into you with his other cock, immediately fucking his cum deeper into you.

You moan helplessly, as Sukuna fucks you from behind, his cock kissing your cervix with each thrust, making you jolt in pain and pleasure. You grip the sheets underneath you, hot tears rolling down your cheeks, as you’re reduced to a babbling, pleading mess.

It’s all so much; his grip on you is almost bruising, his balls slap against your clit, his hand keeping your head down as another gropes greedy handfuls of your ass.

“Oh my g– gods!” you cry out, and Sukuna only fucks you faster, meaner. The loud squelching of your dripping cunt fills the room, along with Sukuna’s breathy moans and your whines.

“You say you’re not a whore, but you sure take cock like one, huh, brat?” Sukuna says and you cry out.

“So good, Kuna, you’re so good to me,” you gasp and Sukuna rolls his eyes. His other cock begins to feel lonely, he notes. He eyes your sloppy cunt, wondering if she could swallow a second cock as well as the first one. The stretch would be obscene, but he’s beginning to get the vibe that you want him to destroy you. Which is why he pulls out till just his tip is inside; rewarding you with a slap on the ass as you whine in protest; before slowly pushing inside with both cocks.

A string of curses leave you. You look back at him with tears in your eyes, but Sukuna merely smiles back, as he continues to stretch your walls to the max.

“Don’t look at me like that, woman. I can tell you live for this,” he replies, and you sob, because fuck yes you do. He fucks you in shallow thrusts, hissing at how tight you are.

He bullies both his cocks into you till you can barely think. Body pressed into the sheets below you, your hands reach behind to try to push him away, your body jolting forward. Sukuna grunts, before he leans in, wrapping his lower arms around your waist. Another one wraps around your throat as he gropes your tit with the last one. You can feel his hot breath against your neck, teeth grazing your skin as your bodies are completely flush against each other.

It’s completely instinctual as he makes you take everything he has to give. He fucks you like a starved man, hips rutting against yours as his cocks explore every inch of your insides, molding you, ruining you forever. You whimper, eyes rolling back as pain and pleasure shoot through you.

“I’m g– gonna come,” you gasp and Sukuna hums, feeling your walls flutter around him. It’s not long before ecstasy takes over your body as you reach your high, cunt gushing around Sukuna’s two cocks. The way you grow so tight, walls gripping him like a vice, makes Sukuna come soon after you, both cocks painting your walls white. It’s so much that your stomach feels bloated, cum dripping out of you and onto the sheets beneath you in a puddle. You whine, closing your eyes and melting into the sheets as Sukuna retreats from your exhausted body.

“Thank you,” you murmur and Sukuna huffs, shaking his head at your weakened state. He grabs a cloth and begins to clean you before he hears your small snores.

“There’s no way,” he mutters, giving your ass a smack, but you barely move as your snores grow louder. A small grin tugs on Sukuna’s lips.

“Brat.”

You wake the next morning, every muscle in your body sore. Despite that, you notice that you are clean and that the sheets and furs around you have been changed. You look around the room for Sukuna, but he is nowhere to be seen.

Huffing, you attempt to get up, only to wince as you feel how sore your legs and back are. You explore your skin, to find bruises and nail marks where he ravaged you last night. You poke at one, wincing at the pain.

“You’re awake,”

You look up, to see Sukuna appearing through the door. You blink.

“How long did I sleep?”

Sukuna shrugs.

“A long time,”

You pout. Sukuna’s eyes trail down your body, smiling at the marks littering your thighs and neck.

“Did you fuck a bull last night or something?” he asks. You furrow your brows and grab a pillow to throw at him. Sukuna snickers, dodging the pillow.

“Get up,” he says.

“No,” you whine, burying your face in your other pillow. Sukuna doesn’t say anything, but you hear footsteps. You sink further into the bed, hoping that he’ll go away, but you squeal when you feel four hands grab you. Sukuna puts you over his shoulder, one arm securely wrapped around you. You fight in his grasp, kicking your legs and hitting his back.

“Let me down this instance!”

“So demanding,”

He doesn’t seem to care about your objections as he gives your ass a firm slap before walking out of the little cave he calls home.

He walks for a little while, as you huff and puff on his shoulder before you finally reach your destination.

It’s another small cave, but this one has a lake. The water is crystal clear, and you can see the bottom beneath it. It is shallow, hardly going above your waist. Above it, a small waterfall cascades down and the lake connects to a small river. You gasp.

“This is beautiful,”

Sukuna shrugs, before getting in the water. You squeal at the temperature, writhing in Sukuna’s arms, but he keeps you steady as he sits down in the water.

“Stay still, brat, it will soothe your body,” he replies as he submerges both of you. He isn’t lying. The water is cold, but it relieves your sore body, making you feel much better.

He lets you go, and you sit down in the icy water. Sukuna sits beside you. “What happened to the others?” you ask, curiously.

“Who?” Sukuna asks.

“The other sacrifices,” you inquire. Sukuna raises a brow. You consider you might not want to know the answer, but it’s too late now.

“I ate them,” he replies. You gape. Sukuna grins.

He hasn’t actually eaten any. Well, he has eaten some. But most he just killed. But he likes the look on your face.

“Wait, really?”

“Yes,”

“Why?”

“Well, I couldn’t just let them go,” Sukuna shrugs as if it’s the most sensible thing in the world. You wonder if being alone for so long has made him unable to feel real empathy. If the loneliness has just made him a shell of a person.

“There are exits here?” you ask. Let them go. He makes it sound so simple, but the only entrance to the labyrinth is supposed to be the one you came through.

“Yes, several,” Sukuna says. You think your jaw somehow drops lower than it already was. Sukuna isn’t a captive? Does he enjoy being here? You suppose that explains the rabbit stew, although you were too stunned at the moment to investigate when he served it to you.

“The architect who built this labyrinth was a captive himself. He swore to never subject anyone to that same fate.” Sukuna explains when he sees your puzzled expression. Almost as if you’ve opened a fountain, words spill from Sukuna’s lips. He doesn’t think he’s ever spoken this much before.

“He came to visit me quite often. Taught me everything I know,”

You nod. That would explain the reading, the cooking, the having somewhat manners besides undressing in front of you and threatening to throw you off the bed.

“Then he stopped coming one day,” Sukuna says. “I was always an unwanted child.”

The last comes almost as an afterthought, and you wonder if he’s saying it more to himself than to you. How old was he before he was cast into the labyrinth? You can imagine Queen Pasiphae’s scowl on his face, King Minos' bitter words.

That’s not my son.

“He’s dead,” you say. Sukuna’s brows furrow.

“What?”

Everyone in Crete knows the story of Daedalus. Architect and inventor, he was the pride of King Minos, building beautiful ships, looms and other inventions. He’d tried to escape with his son, by building each of them a pair of wax wings.

If only Icarus hadn’t flown too close to the sun.

"It’s Daedalus, right? After his son died, the grief killed him,”

Sukuna nods. There’s a whirlwind in his eyes, a thousand thoughts rolling over his mind. “I figured,”

You sit in silence for a while. Then you move over to straddle Sukuna. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Your naked bodies cling together, as a pair of arms tentatively wrap around you.

“What are you doing?” he asks and you giggle. Sukuna feels the vibrations run through his body. “I’m hugging you,” you reply. Sukuna blinks. Slowly he pulls you closer, four arms now wrapped around you. It feels nice, safer than you’ve ever been. You know you should feel disgusted by the man hugging you, but for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to it. You just feel warm. And sore.

You feel yourself being lifted, as Sukuna rubs his cock against your entrance. “Kuna,” you gasp, three arms still wrapped around you. You look up at him, and Sukuna swears you have stars in your eyes. Slowly, he sinks you down on his cock, revelling in the feeling of how warm you are.

Fuck. It’s like he’s getting addicted to your soft body. He never wants to go without you again.

“You must be a witch,” he groans, beginning to bounce you up and down like you’re his little fucktoy. The fullness makes you dizzy, and you lean into his chest, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. The squelching water around you fills the cave along with your little whimpers.

“What the fuck have you done to me, woman?”

i could fix him. (with my pussy)☝🏼😤

i know this isn’t even freaky for tumblr but it’s the first time i’ve posted something like this, so be nice to me. 🥹

also i proof read like three times and i don’t want to anymore so here you go, sorry for any mistakes, i love you.

thank you for reading!

masterlist | divider by plutism

[thewispsings]

personal assistant | lando norris

pairing: lando norris x assistant!reader

summary: the one where lando norris is dating his assistant.

liked by user1, user2, and 124,730 others!

f1updates: y/n and lando have arrived for the media day at the british gp. y/n arrived about an hour earlier then lando. both arriving in style!

view comments below!

user3: oh she looks so good

user4: IKRRRR THAT DRESS?? HOLY

user5: sometimes i forget y/n went to fashion school until she shows up in these AMAZING outfits and im like YUP! she knows what she's doing

user6: i see y/n dressed lando today...

user7: ofc she did! when lando shows up in something other then team gear then we have y/n to thank

user8: she did such a good job!! he looks so good🤭

user9: why does y/n always arrive earlier 😕 i want to see them walk in together

user10: she's said the thought of arriving late makes her extremely anxious so she rather just arrive earlier then everyone else 😭

user11: i get her. she is me. i am her. we are one.

user12: y/n dating someone who loves to sleep in while she's the complete opposite is so?? 😭

user13: yns so pretty

user14: i wish i was y/n. or lando. idk i just want to be famous

user15: does anyone know where he shoes are from??

user15: guys pls??

user15: A LOT OF YOU ARW LIKING THIS BUT NOT RESPONDING

user15: JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FUCKING SHOES ARE FROM

user15: I HATE YOU ALL

liked by user16, user17, and 62,739 others!

ynandlandoupdates: y/n and lando taking photos with fans after practice today!

view comments below!

user16: is she wearing landos jacket🥹

user17: yea!! there's a video going around of him giving it to her. it was truly adorable

user18: i was there! y/n was so nice and was handing out umbrellas, she was super shocked when people asked her for a photo 😭

user19: pls tell me someone gave her a bracelet or something???

user18: the guy next to me handed her a bracelet with landos name 😭she said she'll never take it off and got super flustered

user20: you guys don't understand how much i love y/n, like handing out umbrellas??? she's for the people!!

user21: people who hate on y/n must be sore losers because how are you going to hate on that beautiful AND KIND woman??

user22: lando with the backwards hat??

user23: what is it with f1 drivers and backwards hats?? max, lando, charles, carlos they always look SO GOOD

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen, and 635,915 others!

landonorris: pre-race date!🧡

view comments belown

user24: race week dates are back!! 🤭🤭

user25: ahhhh so cute

danielricciardo: cute ig.

landonorris: jealousy is a disease, get better soon😝

maxverstappen1: remind y/n that we agreed on playing mario cart at 11 pm tonight.

maxverstappen: please.

user26: lando and max this lando and y/n that. WHAT ABOUT Y/N AND MAX?? ARE YOU SEEING THIS ☺️☺️ so cute

landonorris: she has been reminded!

maxverstappen1: thank you

user27: do you think max is sitting by his tv waiting for y/n to join?

user28: oh he totally is

user29: she looks so good??

user30: she literally belongs on vogue, holy

oscarpiastri: bring me back that fancy ice cream

landonorris: no!

yoursername: lando 😡 wait by your room oscar we'll be there in a bit!

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen, oscarpiastri, and 392,947 others!

yourusername: post race date!

view comments below!

user31: lando was so disappointed until y/n came up to him, hope all you y/n haters who think she's not good for him see this and throw up

user32: y/n posting literally NOTHING except date night pictures is truly so cute and funny at the same time

user33: that dress 😍

landonorris: beautiful girl 🥰🥰

maxverstappen1: simp 🫵

maxverstappen1: by the wayyy can y/n play mario cart tonight?

landonorris: yes she can🙄

maxverstappen1: great! ill be waiting

user34: max going from hating to wanting to play with y/n is tooo funny

user35: yns whole aesthetic is so cute

user36: oh to be y/n going on a date night with lando norris after the british gp

user37: y/n and lando running away after the race to go on a date is the cutest thing

user38: SHES GETTING THAT DICK EVERYDAY SHES GETTING THE DICK EVERYDAY SHES GETTING THAT DICK EVERYDAY 😣😣

user39: THAT SHOULD BE MEEE

user40: who do you guys think take these photos?@/maxverstappen1@/oscarpiastri @/ danielricciardo???? who is it 🤨

danielricciardo: i refuse to third wheel.

maxverstappen1: they never like my photos 😕

oscarpiastri: …it's me 🥲

. . .

notes: I'm so sorry if this sucked?? there's like no plot but i wanted to get a lando fic out so here's this!

[moonstruckme]

i loove the way you characterize the marauders! is there any chance i can request a drabble of protective! marauders when their s/o wears something very revealing to like a girls night out 🙈

Thanks for requesting lovely!

cw: alcohol, men (the ones who aren't our loverboys)

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 843 words

Although he doesn’t think of himself as the confrontational type, Remus has no qualms at all with letting his stare bore relentlessly into the man standing against the wall. It takes a minute for the bloke to feel it, but when he looks away from you and catches Remus’ eye, he decides to ogle his drink instead. 

“Fuck,” Sirius sighs, longing woven into the threads of his voice, “that skirt is right dangerous.” 

James hums emphatically, both of their eyes glued to where you’re off dancing with your friends. 

When you’d pulled it on earlier and your boyfriends’ tongues had just about fallen out of their mouths, you’d described it as a “low rise miniskirt.” Remus thought it might more accurately be called a “strip of fabric.” He’s fairly sure you own headbands that are thicker than what you’re wearing now. Pairing it with one of your little tops had all but ensured James wouldn’t be getting a full, intelligent sentence out all night, and you’d covertly asked Remus to take your boyfriends to the bar for a drink when Sirius wouldn’t unstick his hands from you long enough to let you actually dance. 

“She’s alright,” Remus says, turning his stare on another man eye-fucking you from near them at the bar. “She knows how to take care of herself.” 

(And you do, though he doubts you’d mind him offering you a bit of help.)

“I meant for me.” Sirius’ expression is theatrically pained. He looks like he couldn’t rip his eyes away from you if he tried. “Look, you both know I don’t like to get too steamy in public—” James snorts, and Remus coughs into his drink “—but if one of you doesn’t kiss me passionately within the next few minutes, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself from dragging all three of you straight home.” 

“I thought Moony was supposed to be the one with the irresistible urges,” James jokes. Sirius doesn’t seem to hear the joke, but Remus accepts the quick cheek peck James offers him in recompense. “Hang on, I’ll snog you in a bit. Angel!” 

He waves his hand until you look over, gesturing for you to come to the bar. If you’re disappointed to be taken away from your girlfriends you don’t show it, though Remus thinks you might be the sort of tipsy where you’re happy with just about everything regardless. You’re beaming as you make your way over to them. 

“Hey, lovie,” James says. He kisses your cheek while his fingers find the hem of your skirt, giving it a firm tug so it covers more of your ass. Sirius watches its descent with torment in his eyes. “Do you want another drink?”

Your smile goes crooked. Remus thinks you’re trying to be sly, which is just fucking adorable. “You’re gonna get one for me?” you ask, batting your eyelashes at James. 

James grins back at you just as contentedly. “If you want,” he agrees, grasping the fabric of your top to shimmy it up an inch. “Another dirty shirley?” 

“Please.” You peck him on the lips. 

While James turns to speak to the bartender, Sirius steals you away. He takes your hips in both hands, manhandling you closer until he can wrap his arms around your waist and drop his chin on your shoulder. You look happy to be manhandled. 

“You don’t know what you’re doing to me,” Sirius laments, putting his lips to your skin so his voice is a mournful mumble. You bring up a hand to pet his hair, and the look you give Remus says that you do know, actually. “I think we ought to go home.” 

You appear unsurprised at this request. You turn your head to reply, “I’m having fun, though. Aren’t you?” 

“I was,” Sirius groans. “Let me come back out there with you, please? I promise to behave this time.” 

You hum thoughtfully, sending Remus a playful look. “I don’t know. Do you think he can manage it?” 

Remus suppresses a smile. Sirius does love to dance, but Remus knows he sees dancing with you as an opportunity to prove to onlookers that you’re taken as much as it is a chance to grope you himself. And with the mood his last few cocktails have put him in, Remus wouldn’t be surprised if “dancing” turned into a very public makeout session in record time. 

“Doubtful,” Remus says, impervious to Sirius’ pout, “but why rob us all of the show.” 

Sirius’ grin spreads like a sunrise. 

“Alright,” you say as James hands you your drink. “Ready?” 

Sirius agrees enthusiastically, and you start back towards the dance floor, shouting a quick “Thanks, Jamie!” over your shoulder as you lift your drink above the crowd. 

“Think we ought to worry about her taking that out there?” James cranes his neck to keep track of you. “You know, uncovered and all?” 

“No,” Remus says placidly as Sirius snaps at a bloke who happens to glance at your drink as it goes by. “He’s got her just fine.” 

[doromoni]

Off Time | LN4

Ships : Lando Norris x F1 Presenter! Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Subtags : She fell first; He fell harder, Misunderstanding, Mutual Pinning

A/N: Bruh this is so self indulgent! FYI~ I made this during my internship time (I was literally doing nothing). So heree enjoyyy ig?

Summary : You have pursued Lando’s affection, yet he doesn’t seem interested. Till your patience wavers and Lando realizes it too late. Will there be a right time for the two of you?

Masterlist

Part 2

It was another season of Formula 1 on the Silverstone track, the paddock was buzzing with excitement and cameras flashing as the drivers arrived one by one.

You were patiently waiting by the entrance of the paddock club eagerly looking for the family that loved you like their own. You promised them that you’ll see and spend time with the Norrises first before your busy schedule fully takes over and renders you unavailable for the rest of the weekend. It was expected considering that your line of work requires you with a mic and a camera on you at all times.

You feel your phone vibrating in your pocket, probably your boss Mia giving you orders on your next driver interview, and as you checked — you were right. Oh! It was at Mercedes with George. You were in the middle of replying to your boss when you suddenly felt arms wrap around your waist with force enough to make the both of you stumble for balance.

“Y/N! I missed you~ did you bring my stroopwaffles?” You were suddenly engulfed and bombarded by the youngest Norris sibling.

“Yes, Flo . Its at the hotel and I missed you too. Babe, I saw the horse show on video. You were amazing!” you exclaimed proudly as you hugged the younger girl back.

Your eyes then softened as you gazed at Adam and Cisca. They were smiling from ear to ear waiting for their turn for a hug.

“Hi, guys!” You finally said as Flo released you from her clutches and the Elder Norrises hugged you in one big group hug.

“Hi, darling. It’s so nice to see you again. Don’t get me wrong dear you’re amazing on TV — I just prefer to see you in person” Cisca comes at you as she pushes her husband aside to gather you alone in her arms; squeezing you.

“ Honey, let the poor girl breathe.” Adam Norris lovingly reprimanded his wife as he placed his hand on your head and messed with your hair.

You giggled at the family’s antics. Your eyes wandered around the area and you couldn’t help but look, hoping to see Lando’s presence nearby— hoping to have a chat or something.

The Elder Norris couple saw you looking around, probably looking for their son and they couldn’t help but feel awful for you.

“I’m sorry sweetie, Lando said that he’s running a bit late. We should go on ahead”

“Oh, yes of course. Shall we? I need to show you my office, I just got promoted!” You said trying to hide your disappointment with the achievement you got.

They knew that you liked their boy, and they were so happy about it. They would do anything to have you in the family. They just hoped that their son would finally clean his act up and see the amazing girl that was in front of him before it was too late.

As you walked through the paddock with Flo’s arm draped around yours, you couldn’t stop thinking about the British McLaren Driver.

He didn’t hate you, he didn’t hold anything against you— he just was… indifferent. Lando Norris didn’t like you the way that you did. Lando wasn’t interested, not in a romantic relationship type of way anyway. Or that’s what you concluded considering that for the past months of trying to shoot your shot, you were always turned down by the English Mclaren Driver.

His fellow drivers and best mates had always supported your attempts to pursue Lando. They said that you would be good for him, that you and Lando made sense. They knew that you would make him happy.

You met his family by chance and it bloomed when you saved them from being hounded by the press during the race where their son crashed; this resulted in a thank-you dinner and the rest was history.

His dad had loved you and wanted you in the family — so much that you were invited to intimate family gatherings and outings. His mom cherished your times together inside the kitchen, bonding over shared recipes and coffee dates. While his younger sister ran to you for comfort and advice. You were practically a Norris at this point.

However, the Norris sibling that held your fancy wanted nothing to do with you. To him, you were the family friend and the commentator from Sky F1. You were just a distant friend at best and for you that was enough.

Your mind was preoccupied with dazzling green eyes, the head of full curly hair, and now a blemish on his nose from a cut that you found most attractive on him. Your thoughts were fully circling Lando Norris and you didn’t realize that it was time to say goodbye to Adam, Cisca, and Flo.

“Ok guys, I need to work. I’ll find you when I can, alright?” You sulked as you dropped the Norrises off in front of Mclaren’s Motorhome. They said their goodbyes with hugs and cheek kisses. As you were leaving and them stepping inside the doors of McLaren — you were so sure that you saw the mop of curly hair that belonged to Lando Norris.

And you knew deep down that Lando was there the entire time and he just didn’t want to talk to you if not necessary. Knowing that information hurt you tremendously, but you continued to smile nevertheless.

***

Inside the McLaren Motorhome, just as you left, there stood Lando Norris clad in a black hoodie and sweats waiting for his family to enter. Yet his eyes lingered on the girl who seemed to catch his family’s affection like a bear to honey.

“Mum, Dad, Flo! How have you been?” Lando exclaimed as he hugged his family one by one.

“What is it, mum?” Lando asked his mother as soon as he spotted the disapproval on her face

“You said that you’ll be late, why are you inside the motorhome then?” Cisca’s eyes narrowed at her son.

Lando’s eyes shifted away from his mum, he didn’t like to lie to his parents. Rather to be quiet than lie.

“You know why, plus I’m thinking of dating someone else so please stop pushing Y/N to me,” Lando said somewhat indignantly.

“Son, Y/N is an amazing girl. Anyone would be lucky to have her. We just don’t want you to regret anything” His father explained pointedly however still gentle.

“Listen, I know that you love having her around. But, I just don’t fancy her like that. “ Lando languidly explained to his family his feelings for the commentator for what seemed to be the hundredth time.

“Lando, I love you, but you’re being stupid. Maybe Y/N could be better off with someone other than you” Flo mutters with her lips pouted out as she pulls her parents further into the motorhome, not bothering to wait for what seems to be a frozen Lando.

Lando knew to himself that he didn’t like you. He was sure of it. Then why does the thought of you with someone else make his stomach churn and his blood boil?

He pictured you aiming your beautiful smile towards another man. Lando imagined you riding in another man’s car and being your attentive and caring self. A memory of you doing the same to him came to his mind.

You were seated in the passenger seat of his Mclaren, the sound of the Japanese house’s “Sunshine Baby” slowly playing in the background as the three of you cruised through the streets of Bristol, while Flo was dozing off in the backseat. Everything was peaceful and calm as Lando drummed his hand to the beat. The drizzle of rain slowly pelted on the windshield, adding to the calmness.

“What song is this?” Lando suddenly asked you, catching you off guard. His eyes then met yours and held your gaze.

“Oh! It’s Sunshine Baby by the Japanese House. You like it?” You asked back, reluctance was evident in your voice.

“Mhmm, It’s very calming. I mostly listen to house music and EDM… something calm is great. Do have other recommendations?” Lando conversed with a smile on his face, his eyes meeting yours once again before looking back to the road.

“I have an entire playlist! Give me your phone” You showed Lando your palm gesturing for his phone.

As Lando hands his phone to you, Flo wakes from her sleep and demands food on the way.

“Lando I want food. Y/N please buy me food” The younger Norris pouted at you and his brother.

“What do you want to eat, Babe?” You asked Flo when you saw Lando nod in approval.

“Fish and Chips!” Flo exclaimed with enthusiasm. You saw the look of apprehension of the British Driver but he didn’t say anything— only silently drove to the nearest fry shop instead.

“I’ll be back with food.” You spoke as you went to grab your wallet. Lando was handing his card, but you only grinned at the driver then sticking your tongue out as you exited the vehicle.

“I got this covered London boy!” You teased, earning a laugh from both the Norris siblings.

The food didn’t take too long and before you knew it you were back inside the slick Mclaren as the smell of grease and salt wafting the air.

“Ohhhh, that smells amazing~ did you get us all Fish and Chips, Y/N?” Flo asked as she moved to get her food.

“Babe, Your brother doesn’t like fish. So I bought Chicken and Chips for him instead. While you and I get fish” You replied as you gave Flo her food and drink.

“You got me food too and it’s not fish?” Lando asked you with a look of both admiration and a bit of confusion.

“Mhm, you hate fish, right? So chicken it is!” You smiled at the McLaren Driver as you popped the straw in his diet soda and handed it to him.

You were always thoughtful and sweet to everyone, but Lando saw that you were especially so with Him and his family —you remembered every detail.

An uncomfortable sensation settled on his chest as Lando saw in his mind you sharing the bond you had with his family with the family of your other half.

“Lando! Come on” His train of thought was disturbed by the shouts of his dad. However, the feeling of stuffiness remained.

***

You were walking through the paddock towards Ferrari when you walked into Alexandra and Rebecca along the way. The two wags were sweet and inviting, despite their lives of luxury and glamour; their humility shined especially Charles’ girlfriend.

While you were friendly with Rebecca — you didn’t have anything that connected you other than Carlos Sainz. You always felt a bit of tension with the girl, on her part of course. Maybe because of your close relationship with Carlos, jealousy was a feeling you understood well, so you didn’t hold it against the girl. However, with Alex, Alex just like Flo has found solace in your presence in the paddock. You were the first of the few who welcomed her with smiles and open arms when she first started appearing in races; solidifying your bond with the art graduate.

And so Alexandra was the very first to advise you on the news that ultimately breaks your heart.

“Y/N, I heard from Kika that Lando has been going on dates with a girl named Magui for a couple of weeks now and she says that the girl would be coming to the races in the very near future” Alex gently said as she clutched your arms tighter around hers— offering comfort.

Your breath was caught in your throat and you didn’t know how to reply without bursting into tears.

You thought after Luisinha you had a chance or at least to be closer with the driver. But with rumors swimming around about him dating this Portuguese model with a checkered dating past, your chances grow slimmer and slimmer.

Maybe you were kidding yourself for hoping for Lando to reciprocate your feelings. Maybe you were being overly optimistic when everyone said that Lando would come around. Maybe the best was just to give up.

Maybe it was time to truly let go of Lando Norris.

***

It was impossible to miss each other in the paddock, one way or another Lando and Y/N crossed paths.

It was almost routine for Lando to hear your voice calling out his name as you waved your hand in greeting. A sweet smile was always ready for him.

That’s why shock and bewilderment overcame Lando as you walked past him as if he wasn’t even there. No greeting, no smile, not even a brief eye contact.

You went past the driver as if he weren’t there. As you continued to walk away, Lando couldn’t help but look at your retreating form with hurt— he looked wounded by your indifference.

He then heard your sweet voice calling out a name, but this time it wasn’t his— it was his teammates' name. “Oscar!” You bellowed at the Australian Driver; with a smile that Lando wished was directed at him.

***

It has been a month with Y/N’s interactions with Lando at a standstill. And at this point Lando cannot deny that it drove him mad, that you drove him mad.

He was no longer in denial about his feelings for you. He fully accepted it and he wanted you back. Lando Norris liked you the way you did.

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

the handyman

pairing: neighbor! joel miller x f! reader

cws/tags: pure smut, DADDY KINK, oral m & f receiving, p in v (unprotected), an abundance of pet names, reader is under 21 but over 18 (for the plot), reader is kinda stupid, big dick joel, not beta read

summary: pwp honestly. basically a porn plot? idk joel comes over to reader's grandma's house to fix the smoke detector (which she broke) and he teaches her how to be a good girl.

a/n: don't ask why reader lives with her grandma, originally this was going to be longer and it was going to be more relevant

join my taglist!

wc: 2k

You open the front door to and see an unfamiliar man standing at your doorstep – 40 something, jeans and a t-shirt, progressively more handsome the longer you look at him. You size him up, trying to decide what his intentions are.

“Whatever it is you’re selling – I don’t wanna buy it," you say.

He opens his mouth, but you continue before he can say anything. “I don’t even live here anyway, and before you ask she’s not home, so you can’t talk to her.”

“I ain’t here to sell you shit.”

“Well, I don’t wanna sign anything either.”

“Good. ‘Cause I don’t want you to.”

“Then why are you here? I don’t have a lot of time before One Tree Hill comes back on, so make it quick.”

“I’m Joel. I live down the street. I’m here to fix your smoke detector.”

“Oh, in that case, come on in,” you say, changing your demeanor entirely as you realize that you really need to get in this man’s good graces.

“So, you’re ‘handyman’ grandma’s been talking about?” you ask, as you lead him to the kitchen.

“She’s been talking about me?”

“Yeah. She talks about you like you’re her boyfriend.”

“Oh yeah? What’d she say?”

“I dunno. I wasn’t really listening. I thought it might just be some dementia-induced delusion.”

“Well, she’s told me quite a bit about you.”

“Good things?”

“Better than the things she says about all of your other family members.”

“You know what they say, ‘if you don’t want people to talk badly about you, then you shouldn’t ruin Christmas.’”

“Uh-huh,” he says, only half-listening as he approaches the scene of the crime - a broken smoke detector, now just wires and plastic, lays on the kitchen counter. He studies it for a minute, furrowing his brows. “Jesus Christ. What happened?”

“It just fell off the wall.” You shrug, acting nonchalant and hoping he doesn't notice your shifty eyes from across the kitchen.

“No way,” he says – not with curious incredulity, but knowing disapproval.

He turns to you and crosses his arms over his chest, and engages you in a short staring contest.

“What?” you ask, feigning innocence.

Joel swipes the dish rag from the countertop and reveals the evidence you’d hidden under it like he's performing a magic trick.

He holds up the hammer, displaying it to you. He looks mostly disappointed in you - in an oddly paternal way, but also slightly amused, likely by how poorly you’d conducted this whole covert operation of yours. “Why’d you break it?”

“I didn’t break it.”

“Kid, I’m not an idiot. Just fess up, so we can fix it and move on.”

“Are you gonna tell on me?”

“You afraid of your meemaw’s wrath?” he teases.

“I don’t want her to be disappointed in me.”

“Should she be?”

“I didn’t mean to break it. I just wanted it to stop beeping.”

“It’s supposed to beep.”

You give him a pathetic pout that you hope works. It doesn’t. It only makes his gaze harden.

“I’m sorry. It was just one cigarette, and I really, really didn’t want to get in trouble… so when it went off, I panicked and hit it with the hammer.”

He shakes his head and sighs. “You’re a piece of work, kid. Making me come out here on my lunch break-”

“-I’m sorry," you interrupt, "I won’t do it again, so just please, please don’t tell on me.”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“I could offer you something… something to show my infinite remorse for my actions and my infinite gratitude to you for fixing the mess I made.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Okay. What’s your offer?”

His smirk makes you think you’re on the same page so you get down on your knees in front of him, but when you look up into his eyes, what stares back at you is complete bewilderment.

“Get up,” he says, offering you his hand.

“I thought…”

“I don’t think you were thinking,” he says condescendingly.

“You’ve gotta learn to listen to the thoughts up here,” he says, tapping you on your temple. “Not the ones down here.” His finger brushes against your clit.

The way he speaks to you only makes it worse, the throbbing, aching feeling between your legs. You can’t find a single thing to say that isn’t ‘please’ followed by some utterly depraved suggestion.

Joel turns back to his work, somehow unfazed by the interaction.

“Normally, I’d think this sounds a bit too chauvinistic to ask, but since you owe me, can you get me a beer from the garage?”

Oh fuck. Three strikes, you’re out.

“We don’t have any beer.”

“You sure about that? I just put a six pack in there last week.”

“Maybe my grandma drank them already…”

“Your grandmother said that Budweiser tastes like cat piss.”

“It does.”

“Yeah? And how would you know that? I thought you weren’t 21 yet. Who’s buying you alcohol?”

“I didn’t know they were yours.”

“Uh-huh, but I bet your grandma would’ve told you they were if you’d asked her. But she doesn’t know about your ‘habits’, does she?”

“No,” you admit weakly.

“Come here.”

You step towards him, and wait for him to give you an earful or to threaten to reveal your secrets.

“I’m reconsidering your little offer.”

Your face lights up at the opportunity to make things right, to expunge this from your record.

“So if I did that, we’d be cool, right?”

“Depends on how good you are, darlin’.”

For a second time that afternoon, you sink to your knees, but this time, Joel gives you the go-ahead. You try to balance the coyness you’ve seen women in the movies demonstrate with the eagerness you feel inside as you undo his belt.

With his jeans halfway down his legs, you place your palm over the bulge in his boxers and feel him twitch at your touch. When his cock is finally released from its confines, you try not to be too intimidated. Your confidence is falling but your arousal only rises.

You begin by wrapping your hand around him and stroking his length, setting a steady pace. Then, you tease the tip with kitten licks and hear his breath hitch when you flick your tongue across his slit.

There’s no way you can take him all the way down your throat – you’d probably bruise your esophagus. Still, you try, sputtering and letting saliva drip down your chin. You can’t help but feel a bit proud of yourself when he has to put his hand on the counter to steady himself.

“Hold on, sweetheart,” he says through heavy breaths.

You pull away, upset at what you perceive to be a failure. “You didn’t cum…”

“I almost did, baby girl, but I don’t want to yet.”

You feel a bit pathetic imagining how you must look from his perspective, with your teary eyes, begging him to let you go on.

“You wanna give me a good apology, right?” He nods slowly, looking into your eyes, prompting you to do the same.

“Then, I want you to come sit on the couch with me.”

He takes your hand and walks you to the living room, patronizing since the two rooms are connected. When Joel sits down on the couch, he pulls you into his lap.

“I was thinkin’ about what I said before – how you’re not using your head. You could be such a smart girl – a good girl - if only you could think with your brain. You just need a little bit of help.”

You can feel his hard cock poking through his boxers and rubbing against your pussy. It’s hard to resist the urge to roll your hips, just to get a bit of friction, a bit of relief.

His hand finds its way between your legs and he asks, “What’s gonna happen if I put my hand in your panties right now, baby? Are you gonna be wet?”

While you try to form a response that doesn’t make you sound too desperate, his fingers toy with your waistband. “Remember, baby, good girls are honest,” he whispers into the shell of your ear.

“Yeah, I am… wet.”

“For me?” His hand meets your bare skin and finds that you are, indeed, dripping wet. “Did I do this to you?”

“Uh-huh.” You arch into his touch, shamelessly using his fingers for your own pleasure.

“If you want more, you have to be a good girl.”

With the promise of a reward, you follow his implied instructions and still your hips.

“I’ll be good. I promise.”

He takes your word for it and begins rubbing circles on your clit. You could cum from that alone but he slips a finger inside you, curling it upward to meet that special spot.

Joel expects a response from you, but not the one he gets.

A single word: “Daddy…”

“Oh, baby. I get it now. Been needin’ daddy to take care of you.”

He’s right. You do need this. He can take care of you, you can be good for him. When he fucks you with his fingers, you swear you could fall in love with him.

But when he takes them away, you cry.

“Shh… It’s okay,” he says, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “I wanna do something else. It’s gonna make you feel even better.”

Before you have a chance to think, your panties are on the floor and his head is between your thighs. You can feel his breath on your clit when he speaks. “I want you to be a good girl and cum on my face – can you do that?”

“Yes, daddy.” The word leaves your mouth more naturally than it probably should, it's almost instinctual.

Joel wastes no more time talking, knowing his tongue can convey much more when it runs along your folds, and his lips can elicit a better response when they suck lightly on your clit.

The only thing you have for him is moans accompanied by breathless chanting of “daddy, daddy, daddy.”

He hums into your core, an affirmative, a reminder that you are a good girl. You can do this.

You can cum for him. You will cum for him – there is nothing that can stop the euphoria that rushes through you. It’s the kind that makes your legs shake and your eyes roll back into your head.

Joel was right – the orgasm clears your mind. But the realization that the situation you’ve ended up in – naked on your grandmother’s couch with her middle-aged neighbor who is supposed to be fixing your mistake, not helping you make another - is a precarious one. Being a smart girl seems to be a double edged sword.

Euphemistically, speaking.

In truth, it’s Joel’s cock that’s fully-sheathed inside you. Pain and pleasure mix as he thrusts in and out of you. You swear he might split you open, but even if he quite literally tore you to pieces, you'd die happily.

“You’re takin’ it so well,” he tells you, “knew you’d be a good girl.”

And maybe it’s the praise, or maybe it’s his thumb on your clit, but you’re rapidly approaching a second orgasm. All you can do is hold onto Joel, dragging your nails down his back. He bites your neck in response, and hopefully he doesn’t intend for it be a deterrent, because it only serves to heighten your pleasure.

He slows his pace, but his hips slam into yours harder, filling the air with the sound of skin slapping against skin in a steady rhythm.

“Whose pussy is this?”

You can’t breathe when the weight of his cock knocks the wind out of you, so he stops, allowing you to answer.

“Yours, daddy!”

His lips on yours are your cue to cum – or so you hope because it happens regardless of your will.

He has the sense to pull out and let his release spill onto your stomach.

You sigh, relaxing into the couch. “I need a cigarette,” you say.

“Did you not learn anything from today?”

“Mm-mm,” you say grinning dumbly.

Caught up in a daze – absolutely enraptured by his need to have you – he made the mistake of fucking you stupid.

[bweeeb]

PASSED OUT

Theodor Nott x you

Warnings: nothing much, very short, Theo being a little jealous, cute.

Summary: Where Theodore doesn't find his girlfriend the morning after a party.

it was past nine in the morning, and you were still missing after the party the night before. Pansy, Daphne, and you had managed to get your own private dorms at the beginning of the year, making it harder to know in whose bed any of you had passed out after taking several shots of totally mysterious drinks. However, you were the first to disappear from the party. You went up to the dorms because you started feeling too dizzy, and that’s why you ended up where you were now, lying with Mattheo's arms around you in his bed.

— Has anyone seen my girlfriend by any chance? She disappeared last night, and she's not in her room — Theo asked in the hall as the group walked towards the Slytherin common room.

— She vanished, maybe the Weasleys know — Draco joked, receiving a dirty look from Theodore.

— She’s not in any of our rooms — Pansy said, shaking her head.

— Did you check your room? — Daphne asked the boys.

— She's not there — Blaise denied, as his room was separate, being one of the seventh-year prefects.

— I would know if my girlfriend had slept in my room. Theo shook his head in disappointment.

— I didn't check because I slept in Astoria's room, but I think Mattheo went back there, so he would have told us if... uh, wait, Mattheo also didn’t show up — Draco cut himself off, giving a mischievous smile to Theodore, who looked irritated at Malfoy, licking his cheek impatiently.

— Shut up, Draco — Pansy pushed Draco, and the blond laughed, shrugging.

— Where could she be? — Without even thinking, when the group arrived at the common room, Theodore's steps lengthened to Draco and Mattheo’s room. The door was opened, and the sight of you and Riddle sleeping made Theo huff and cross his arms over his chest. She wouldn’t do anything... Theo thought, and he thought right.

With your eyes closed, you shifted in bed and softly sniffed the air, finding Theo’s scent in the room. Your hands rubbed your eyes, and as soon as they opened, the sight of Mattheo holding you made you frown slightly. It wasn’t unusual, but Theodore being at the same party as you would never let you go up alone and have Mattheo do it.

— What? — You murmured softly, and a groan came from the open door with your boyfriend looking as angry as the time you… actually, you couldn’t remember when he looked this mad. — Theo? — You said his name and sat up in bed quickly, looking at Mattheo's arms around your naked body. — Matt. Mattheo — You shook him with the intention of waking him up.

— What the fuck is this? — Theo asked, and you rubbed your face with your hands, groaning.

— I don’t know. Fuck, my head.

— Shh, go back to sleep, baby —. Mattheo murmured, and Theo’s face darkened.

— Shut up, Mattheo. You groaned pushing him away, but he was too sleepy to understand that the one he was grabbing was you and not some random girl he had slept with the night before.

— Get your hands off my girlfriend, Riddle — Nott moved forward, pulling Mattheo away from you and making Mattheo wake up on the floor.

— Dude, what’s this? Mattheo groaned and looked towards the bed, where you were without your clothes from the party last night. — Fuck, I didn’t fuck with her. Mattheo stepped forward, raising his hands.

— Nothing happened, Theo — You groaned, looking down to see yourself practically naked, you groaned once again and got up from the bed, walking over to your boyfriend with a pout on your lips.

— Why didn’t you come to me, Principessa?

— I looked for you, but I couldn’t find you, so I went to the room I thought was yours — You said with a headache, closing your eyes and resting your head on Theo’s chest. He hugged you, covering your semi-naked body.

— Idiot — Mattheo grumbled, throwing himself back onto the bed. — Your girlfriend is the best thing in the world to sleep cuddled with, Teddy bear. Her boobs are like pieces of cotton. Mattheo teased, and Theodore gave the middle finger to his friend, who smirked mockingly.

— Fuck you, Riddle. I'm hexing you until your next life.— he said, taking you to his own room, deciding what he would do with you.

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Requests are open✨

[jananimal813]

So I’m watching Once Upon a Time

I never finished watching it back when it was airing. And I guess I stopped around the middle of season 6. No memory of these episodes.

Now, they have pulled a lot of wild shit on this show. Like after Peter Pan being Rumples father, I didn’t think anything else they did could rattle me.

But.

Belle and Rumples son.

First of all.

For fucks sake, stop getting back with him belle, omfg, I can’t fucking take it anymore. (Really reached a new low when Emma was blackmailing the freshly re-dark-one-ed gold with telling belle about it. Like bitch aren’t you supposed to be her friend? Did Snow know that was going on? She was okay with that? None of these bitches give a single shit about belle apparently…but that want my point here sorry)

So they have a kid. Sure. For some reason, there has to be a birth scene every season apparently.

And then it immediately gets taken away and comes back grown. Yup. Par for the course.

But.

They have finally broken my suspended disbelief.

By having this man…

Be the grown child of these two…

Just….naw my dudes. Nope. Not even a little bit do I buy this.

[foldingfittedsheets]

A friend I had briefly in my teens years was this girl in Arizona. She was a junior when I was a freshman, and as I was socially awkward and very lonely she kind’ve pulled me under her wing for a while. I don’t remember how we met, but I remember riding in her car and meeting her cute miniature Doberman.

But the thing I remember most about this girl was that she loved lying to me. And I had a massive but I acknowledged crush on her so I adored being lied to. Her natural charisma and storytelling was hypnotic.

It’s not what it sounds like because it wasn’t malicious but she came up with this in depth lore to tell me about this fake job she had. I know autistic people are meant to be credulous but I truly never believed her stories, I just adored her storytelling and was very ready to listen to whatever tale she spun that day. Another of her friends chided her once for teasing me but I genuinely never minded.

In her lore she moonlighted as a Professional Liar. People would hire her to get close to a target they wanted rattled. She’d make friends, develop a strong relationship, foster a dependency on her, then disappear. Then when they were confused and missing her sometime when the employer needed their target rattled she’d show back up as a glimpse to knock them off balance. Often it was implied she’d faked her death in the interim.

That itself was fine, it was an okay story. But in order to support that lie she’d make up tons of supporting details that were way more fun. She had this fake boyfriend who got high as balls on a mission and ended up seeing a sheep in a field and carrying it to a farmhouse to try to buy it because he wanted a puppy. I liked that one but suspected she didn’t know how big sheep were.

She’d IM chat with me as this made up boyfriend sometimes; once she had him ask me if I noticed her limping and he told me she’d just lost a toe but was covering for it like a champ. That one was fun.

She told me about something she called “purple charge” which was a way to get instant night vision. I did try looking that one up on the off chance, but was sadly disappointed there.

She said that Professional Liars had such high stakes jobs that they needed a week of insane time where they just partied so hard it was like a Dionysus rave and her IM boyfriend persona implied she’d killed someone during one of those stints.

I had such a fun time with her elaborate fiction that I’d often ask follow up questions and she had to do a lot of world building to keep up with my fascination. We’d get to class and I’d have three or four new questions which I think is why her friend thought her teasing was too far. They genuinely thought I believed her but I was just loving the fiction.

If any of this sounds malicious I’ll also add that when I got harassed on a roleplaying board she went out guns blazing to go after the guy who’d been harassing me. She genuinely enjoyed my company.

I find myself looking back on our friendship very fondly. I can’t remember her last name or have any way of looking her up, but she really was a professional liar to me. The only downside is that I’m completely faceblind so if she ever wanted to pop unexpectedly into my life I’d have no idea it was her.

[tteokdoroki]

☆༉ — RYOMEN SUKUNA. a better man.

about. you’re a girl that’s way out of his league and he’s the bad boy you couldn’t help but fall for. what happens when ryomen sukuna fails to meet you in the middle?

warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact! sfw, fluff, suggestive towards the end, no curses!au, modern!au, it’s implied that sukuna is in a gang, mentions of fights, reader is a rich girl, they’re kinda in love :( bad boy!sukuna, fem!reader.

“you’re mad at me. aren’cha?”

sukuna mutters with an air of faux nonchalance as he lazily jogs up the final marble steps that lead up to the restaurant he was supposed to meet you at nearly two hours ago. the evening traffic zips by, red and white headlights parting through the rain to illuminate your boyfriend’s features. heavy water droplets take residence on the slope of his nose and Cupid’s bow, some even daring to cling on to the tips of dusty rose-coloured hair.

if you weren’t so angry right now, you might take a moment to appreciate how good sukuna looks in the moment — especially with the way the rain makes the designer tux you’d gotten for him cling to his skin. exposing every ridge and dip and curve in his muscle while his inky black tattoos become all the more visible.

“of course i’m mad.” you step aside to let sukuna under the shelter of the entrance, avoiding him as he swoops down for his usual hug and kiss. “tonight is important. it was important.”

“babe c’mon on, i was—“

“you were late. they’re serving dessert in there, ryomen.” your tone is coloured with shades of annoyance and a hint of warning. like a mother about to lecture her child. you’re pissed. it’s written all over your face too — in the way that your brows crease and you pout so adorably. he’ll try to play it off, like he doesn’t care, but it almost makes sukuna sick to his stomach to know that you’re angry with him.

the rain picks up outside of the restaurant and you continue. “all you had to do was show up on time. come to this stupid fancy restaurant and be there to meet my parents. but of course, you got yourself caught up in—“ you grab his dress shirt in frustration, noticing the blood on the collar that doesn’t belong to him. his split knuckles and the bruise on his lips. “— in whatever this is.” you roll your eyes, blood boiling.

“it’s nothin’ for you to worry your pretty little head about,” sukuna scoffs, lips spreading wide in his signature smirk. the excuse is lame, but he doesn’t want you to worry for him any longer. “since when did you care about what your parents think, anyways?” but you see it in his eyes, that same old worry. that he’s not good enough for you, that a scumbag like him doesn’t deserve a pretty girl like you. he’s always told you to find someone better, someone able to feed into the glitz and glamour that you were brought up in.

but you’ve always told ryomen sukuna that you have everything you need right there with him.

cupping his face, the heat of anger dispels from your body and you exhale deeply though your nose. “i don’t care about what my parents think. if i did, i wouldn’t be dating you.” you cast a thumb over the thick lines of ink decorating his face, accenting sukuna’s high cheekbones and chiselled features while the rest of your fingers sink into his smooth, dark undercut. “but that doesn’t mean i don’t want you to meet them. they’re just as special to me as you are. i want the most important people in my life to know each other.”

your boyfriend’s hands settle on your wrists as he grunts noncommittally, indicating that he’s aware of his wrong doings. if there’s one thing that sukuna hates, it’s upsetting you. he doesn’t care what the world thinks of him, it’s never mattered before. yet, even the slightest look of disappointment from you has the man in shambles. “‘m sorry,” he drawls, his grip on you shifting down to cup your waist — pulling you flush against him. “what can a guy like me do to make it up to you?”

“you can go on in there and charm the hell out of my rich, uptight parents so that we can hurry up and go home,” your voice lowers an octave as you stand on your tip toes for the extra height so that you can nip at the shell of sukuna’s ear. “where you can rip this dress off’a me.”

“such a dirty mouth for such’a prim ‘n proper girl, hm? i should wash it out with soap.” he purrs right back, leaning down to kiss at your neck until you’ve had enough of his frayed pink hair tickling your skin. he damn near melts when your fingers inch up to tug at his roots — earning a deep and thrilling growl from the man. “that was a dirty move. who taught you that?”

“my good for nothing boyfriend, he’s kind of a bad influence.” you tease back, despite having to physically push sukuna away in order to avoid setting off his inner beast before dinner with your parents is done — and instead, take to grabbing his larger hand in yours so you can lead him from the front of house to your family’s reserved table.

and like always, sukuna trails after you like a lost puppy enamoured with the person that found them, have them love and warmth. because, while you didn’t change him, you made him want to be better — to give up the knives in his back and the bullets looking over his head for something better. something softer.

something like you.

ryomen sukuna wanted to become the someone he thought you deserved.

that’s why he put on this stupid suit and tie, why he let you take his hand, why he follows you to the the table that’s sure to seal his fate with you.

behind all that rough exterior, is a man who loves you.

and in front of sukuna, is a girl who loves him and all of his flaws right back.

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[prince-geo]

literally pleased with almost all of the new atla trailer except as per usual, Zuko's scar, idk why studios are so scared to commit to the intensity of the thing, its supposed to be shocking and obvious and textured and the first thing you see... that's the point, Zuko is supposed to struggle with feeling like it defines and brands him before finally coming to the point in his journey where he defines it.

Hollywood/big studios are known to hesitate or straight up avoid properly and honestly and unapologetically showing people with disfigurements/disabilities/facial differences etc. with the realism they deserve. Which is a shame in general for representation and humanization but ESPECIALLY in this case as its minimization actively harms it's narrative purpose as well

I promise making the scar more intense (shrivel up the ear a bit, make it intrude in his hairline, make his eye in a permanent squint due to nerve damage, for god sake REMOVE THE EYEBROW IT WAS BURNED OFF) will not make Zuko "ugly", (the actor is incapable of looking ugly and also the implication that scars make people too unappealing? yikes) but will actually do the character and his journey justice, not to mention really show Ozai's brutality, another essential narrative tool. Especially when he's bald like hello??? It should be even more stark and intense when he doesn't have hair to distract from it and cover his ear!!!

When transitioning from 2D to live action, of course some visuals are up for interpretation but that usually involved ADDING detail because the constraints of having to stay on modeling frame to frame is gone, not minimizing, removing or airbrushing. Doing Zuko's scar right to me is absolutely essential and I'm disappointed they seem just as as scared to go there as I thought they might. It doesn't have to be gory, if you've ever seen burn victims in real life or in pictures or even cosplayers/artists who are skilled in realistic burn makeup you'd know its possible to balance realism with humanity. It's possible especially with their resources to avoid the "scary Halloween makeup" route while not holding back on the brutality of the original injury.

Budget is definitely not an issue, or "scaring the kids" considering this remake is likely aiming to go a lil darker in tone than the cartoon (which was already super dark with its target audience of nickelodeon 7 year olds so no excuses) Audiences SHOULD be unsettled and upset when they see him but not because he's hard/disturbing to look at but because we are human and do not want to imagine someone doing that to a child.

It's a deliberate choice out of the all too common fear/hesitation to allow someone who is destined to eventually become a protagonist and is meant to be sympathized with to be "too ugly" while this hesitation is very rarely applied to straight up villains (again we come back to media's historic villainization of facial deformity). It's a trend that's always ticked me off in fanart too. The boy's face was melted, for gods sake. Zuko was always portrayed as an attractive boy in the cartoon (fire nation girls fawn over him) even with the intensity of his scar which is something I've always admired! People exist with scars similar to Zuko's in real life, and should not only be permitted to be represented as good guys and/or as attractive when their scars are toned down to be "palatable"

Like I said there's more that I loved than didn't love about the trailer, that can be a whole essay on it's own but I needed to get this very specific vent off my chest because it missed the mark so hard and stands out like a sore thumb in comparison to all the other visuals that hit the nail on the head to me