#but i am quite pleased with how i got around my writers blog

[taeraeszn]

hi!! i absolutely adore your blog, im always so happy when you post ☹️ it makes me smile sm 🫡 would you mind doing a zb1 when they’re jealous reaction ?? it’s okay if not though !!!

when zb1 are jealous

hi anon, tysm for requesting!! here is yet again another table turn reaction post with zb1 being jealous instead of the reader!! this was also quite fun to write <3

i am aware that other writers have written this exact scenario for zb1, these are all completely my ideas and thoughts. any similarities are purely coincidental.

btw these are pretty long my bad

warnings: mentions of food, jealousy?, lmk if there is any more!!!

kim jiwoong

when he sees your friend casually putting their hand on your shoulder and getting closer to you, it makes him freak out even more on the inside.

and seeing you not mind it one single bit also makes his brows furrow

for some backstory, you two had been out and stopped at a local diner when one of your old friends that you haven't seen in a long time recognized you and asked how you'd been. but this friend wouldn't bother talking to jiwoong, only giving you the full attention and asking you a bunch of questions, mostly about your whereabouts

you being the kind person you are began conversing with them and sharing everything that you have been up to, such as meeting jiwoong

even then, you noticed that your boyfriend's facial expression had become more sour as he was either looking around or glaring at your friend directly

jiwoong then reached a breaking point when it had been an hour of your friend being there, along with the fact that you had barely spoken to him, he got up from his seat causing you to divert your attention to jiwoong

"jiwoong, is everything okay?" you asked, he nodded but seemed upset from the look on his face.

"yeah i just got a call from our manager, i have to go." but you noticed that his home screen didn't have a kakaotalk notification, was he lying?

he said goodbye to your friend and walked away, you heard him sigh as he walked off

you then excused yourself, "just wait." then rushing to see your boyfriend walking to the sidewalk. your footsteps quickly catched up to him and you softly grabbed his wrist

"babe, please tell me honestly. did i do something?" you asked. he then turned to face you, obviously looking disappointed at what occurred.

"i was really excited to go on a date with you, but i didn't expect for you to ignore me completely." it was then that you realized that you fucked up

"i'm sorry jiwoong, please know that i love you. i would never purposely hurt your feelings. i have no feelings for that friend, it's all you."

"i know that, i just don't want to be ignored on our dates." 

you pulled him into your arms, "i'm sorry my love, please let me repay you. let's go somewhere else, hmm? just the two of us?"

it was then that you saw his smile (yk the one where he lowkey is smirking), "i would love that."

rest of the members are under the cut!

zhang hao

you and hao were both cuddling in bed, excited to devour the food you had just placed an order on

"ugh when is the food coming?!" hao exclaimed, pouting while stretching his legs. you giggled and just as you were about to reply to him, the front doorbell rang. hao sprung up but you offered to get it, he decided to stay in bed and continue watching the film without you

but a few minutes passed and hao was wondering why you weren't coming back to bed, as he slowly rises up from his position, he heard you laughing

"wow that feels just like yesterday! i was wondering where you went after graduation." you said to the delivery worker who happened to be an old classmate from school that you hadn't heard from in a while

"well i had to move to another city for a while but decided to come back here and now i deliver food to people!"

"i'm glad your doing well!" hao's curiosity got the best of him, he followed your voice and saw you conversing with your former classmate

"oh, hello." your classmate greeted hao, he did the same and casually wrapped his arm around your shoulder

"you've been talking for a while so i decided to come out and see what's happening." he grinned, you leaned into his touch

"hao this is (name), we were classmates in high school and i just got to catch up with them! it's crazy how fast time flies by!"

"right?" your friend replied, just then they looked at their phone, "i got another delivery to go do...hey (your name), text me, i gave you my number right?" you nodded, "for sure, see you!" they then left and you shut the door.

you then faced hao was seemed like the most happiest man alive. you crossed your arms, "you're happy that they left, aren't you?" he shrugged, "i have no clue what your talking about." he walked back to your room. 

"oh please, i saw the way you were glaring, we're just friends. nothing else. why would i want to be with anyone else that isn't you?" a smile tugged at hao's lips

"you mean that?" you nodded and kissed his cheek, "a hundred percent." 

sung hanbin

"and it's just a group project?" hanbin asked for the billion time, you nodded

for the last five minutes you had been standing by the front door with hanbin, you were supposed to be out the house by now but hanbin kept asking you that same question

"yes hanbin, it's just a group project. we're just going to work on it then i'm heading home." he still seemed unsure and crossed his arms

this all began when you informed hanbin that you were heading out to work on a group project with some university classmates, though he was unsure of how to feel about it

the main reason being that one of those members in your group had confessed to liking you and still having some feelings for you, though you still ensured hanbin about it, he had mixed feelings

one of his biggest fears was you leaving him for that friend if they tried to persuade you further about going out with them

"okay...i mean, i'm totally fine with you hanging out with classmates!" he randomly said, you raised your brow, "are you sure?"

it was then that his smile faded and he became a bit more serious

"maybe i am a little bit jealous...i know that one of your group mates have confessed to liking you and it makes me wonder if their going to try and ask you out."

you sighed, placing your bag down and wrapping your hands around hanbin

"i promise that nothing is going to happen. i know that they like me but i only have feelings for you and only you hanbin. ever since that day we met, i know who i want to be with and i choose you everyday."

you could finally see his cat whiskers form after he smiled at your words, "well that makes me feel much better."

you gently kissed him, "i'm heading out now okay?" he nodded, "have fun my love."

now hanbin was certain that nobody would steal you from him

when the door shut, he grinned, he knew you were all his and only his to love

seok matthew

(yeah i'm going to make you guys really unbearable in this one LMAO i'm sorry!!)

matthew was thrilled to hear that you landed a job with a great pay, location, and hours. he knew how much you wanted to get a full time job and now that you were working, he was more proud than ever

but as you began sharing stories about your workplace and the people there, he realized that you were often mentioning one specific co-worker

this co-worker was someone who had their office right next to yours and a person you found yourself conversing with often due to your similar interests

at first he didn't seem too bothered by it as he thought that you were just getting to know them, but it later came to the point where you were bringing them up a lot at home and outside such as dates

for instance, when you were out shopping, sometimes you'd bring out the "oh (co-worker's name) likes this drink a lot!" or "i bet (co-workers name) would love this!" 

that's when matthew reached a breaking point and decided to have a chat with you about it

"(name), i understand that your getting along with your new co-worker but i'm seeing that your continuously bringing them up in every conversation. i don't have a problem with your friendships but i can't help but feel a bit..." he looked away, "jealous."

you understood and realized that it must've made matthew feel uneasy and were now regretting continuously speaking about them

"matt i'm sorry for making you feel that way, please know that it was never my intention." you said sincerely, he could only look down

"i'm not mad that your close with them, i just want you to think of how i feel when you constantly keep bringing them up." 

"i completely understand matthew. their just a coworker and that's all. i'll stop bringing them up constantly. i'm really sorry for that, what can i do to make it up to you?" 

he smirked, "i just want a day of us together, no mentions of anybody, just us as a couple. after all, your work has stolen hours that we could've been together."

you giggled and rested your head on his shoulder, "what about that new restaurant that opened nearby?" you suggested

he pecked your forehead, "i would love that."

kim taerae

you were watching one of your favourite groups perform on tv with your lightstick in hand, shouting their names for the fanchat

it had been a while since they had came back but their comeback was definitely worth the wait as the song had been on repeat everyday since it's release

taerae finally returned from practice and the first thing he saw was you screaming at your tv

"please not them, please not them." he repeated in a mantra. as he got closer to the tv, that's when he saw that group performing

he had been hearing this song all day whenever he returned home and he had already memorized the lyrics thanks to you putting it on loop

but to be fair the group performing had great stage presence and even taerae couldn't help but get sucked into their watching their performance 

"oh babe your back home?" you said, snapping him out of his focus

"yeah we just wrapped up practice. what are you doing?"

you giggled, "oh, you know that group i really like? they just had a comeback and i'm SO in love with their new song! they just performed on inkigayo!"

taerae knew about your obsession with this group, but he knew that you loved zb1 equally as much as them, you had just been into this one group longer since zb1 had just recently debuted

he then nervously glanced at you, "well babe...have you been listening to our debut? y'know in bloom is a really good song." 

seeing taerae like this was a bit cute, you knew he had mixed feelings over you saving this groups photos, watching their lives, and consuming ever content of theirs

and seeing how this group had a comeback, he knew you'd fall back into this habit and make him even more jealous

"kim taerae, don't tell me your jealous." you joked, his dimples showed as he looked away, clearly smiling in defeat

"okay yeah yeah i am." you got up and cupped his cheeks

"you know that you're the only person i love romantically taerae. they don't stand a chance against you." 

"thank you my love, i love you."

just then the performance wrapped up and now another group began performing, taerae looked at the screen and back at you, "well i guess it's me time now right?" he giggled

"yup, you have me all to yourself." you reassured

shen ricky

you and ricky were on a date at a fancy restaurant to celebrate your anniversary, ricky went all out by making sure the place had great reviews, good service and delicious food

you were enjoying it as well, devouring in the delicious food quickly not wanting to waste any more time

but just then, a server came over to get your check. ricky being the tall and handsome guy he is, handed the server his card without hesitation

“babe you don’t have to, here i’ll pay.” you offered, pulling out your card as well. ricky chuckled, “babe it’s ok, tonight is all for you.”

your cheeks began heating up at his words but then the server spoke up

“excuse me?” you looked up, “yes?”

“i just wanted to say that you look absolutely breathtaking.” your eyes widened at the server’s kind words

“oh my...thank you.” ricky smiled as well, “they're not wrong.”

“oh you stop it!” you exclaimed, “but seriously, thank you for your kind words.” 

the server shook their head, “it’s nothing. i couldn’t help but stare at you from afar. you really catched my eye.”

despite you enjoying the continuous compliments, ricky couldn’t help but feel some type of way about them, especially seeing how the server completely ignored his presence

as the night wore on, the server continuously approached you to say things to you. ricky noticed how you were living for the praises but was a bit frustrated at the server ruining your alone time with him 

(also because he was jealous that someone else’s words could swoon you)

at the end of the date, you were driving home and ricky couldn’t help but sigh in the car

you noticed his sour expression as well, “babe is everything okay?” 

he shrugged, “i don’t know, maybe you should go talk to that server since you were giggling at their compliments.”

you then put the pieces together, ricky was jealous, and you loved it. it was a rare sight to see ricky jealous but you were living for it

“ricky…that server isn’t my partner. you are. even if someone does flatter me, you are the one who makes my heart beat the most. you are the one who i’m with.”

you could see a smile begin to form on his lips, “really?”

“for sure.” he then softly held your hand while his other was on the steering wheel

“looks like i’ll need to find a new restaurant next time.”

“ricky!”

kim gyuvin

one thing you absolutely loved was pranking your boyfriend since gyuvin gave the best reactions to almost everything

you saw the tiktok trend of where people call their partners by different name and so you decided to prank him with that exact idea

the setting was perfect! gyuvin was at your house and you two were home alone. you were now waiting for the right moment to strike

he was on his phone, seeming unbothered and scrolling through twitter. it was now time! you positioned yourself up properly to begin the shenanigans

you got your phone out and opened tiktok to go to your likes, “gyumin! look at this video!” you shoved your phone in his face

it was then that gyuvin-or gyumin paused and looked straight at you with a blank expression

“what?” his eyes looking completely puzzled

“look at this video, it’s so funny!” he then pushed your phone away lightly, eyes daggering at you

“who’s gyumin?” he said. you pretend to act laid back

“oh sorry? did i say something else?” now his mouth was wide open with his eyes popping out, you almost burst out laughing but concealed your laugh

“uh, yeah! Who’s gyumin?!” he exclaimed, “are you close with someone else named gyumin? since when did you know someone named gyumin? give me their number, i want to have a talk with them.” he suddenly said in one breath.

“calm down! It was just a mistake.” gyuvin still seemed unsure, his brows furrowed

“y’know, i should be the only gyu that you know.” he pouted

you cupped his cheeks, “gyu it was just a prank. obviously i don’t know anyone named gyumin!”

his facial expression suddenly changed as he began laughing and pulled you into his arms

“how dare you!” he yelled, then kissing you gently on the forehead

you giggled, “what was that for?”

“just to remind you that i love you.” he murmured, “i love you too, gyumin.” you blurted out

“HEY!”

park gunwook

“noooooo!” your boyfriend yelled, refusing to let go of you. You sighed while playfully rolling your eyes 

“gunwook, i have to go.” you said for the thousandth time

“why don’t you just get tutoring from me?” he suggested. 

“are you sure about that? You struggled on conjugating ‘to eat’”. you then attempted to grab your bag that was lying on the floor

“hey! that was a one time thing.” he whined, “and anyways, I’m not letting you leave.”

to put it short, gunwook was jealous of your new tutor as they were incredibly attractive

gunwook also knew them personally and the last thing he wanted was for you to fall for them

he didn’t want you to leave and tried everything to prevent you from leaving, but in the end, he knew you would have to leave for the lessons

“gunwook, i promise that nothing will happen between us. they're just teaching me japanese, that’s it!” his facial expression thought otherwise

“yeah sure and then what happens? maybe they’ll confess!” you sighed

“do you actually not want me to go?” gunwook then freed you from his arms and seemed more relaxed than before

“i don’t know, it’s just…i liked you for so long before confessing and i don’t want to think of someone else taking you away from me.”

you giggled, “yeah i remember when you chased after me for months so that we could become close."

gunwook’s hand gently held yours, the silence was calming as it showed your love with your boyfriend

“i’m sorry i overreacted, if you want to go for your lesson now then i won’t stop you.”

you smiled, “it’s okay gunwook, i’ll be sure to show you everything i learned!”

you finally saw his grin return, “okay, have fun!” he waved

It was then that you could finally grab your bag and say goodbye to your boyfriend, then leaving the house to head to your tutor’s place

han yujin

in class you were sitting at your desk that was situated at the corner of the class, just scrolling on your phone out of boredom

you had a small break in between your classes and yujin had just left the class

as you looked up from your screen, you saw your classmate minseo standing in front of you

“hi (name)!” they greeted. minseo was the class president and someone who was very well liked among your classmates

“hi!” you put your phone away to give your full attention to him

“i was wondering if you wanted to head to the convenience store nearby at lunch since all my friends are gone today.” you knew minseo was someone who liked having someone tag along with them rather than being alone, and you two had recently began getting close with one another

“sure why not?” you grinned. just then yujin walked in with his earphones in, he noticed you and minseo having a conversation and slowly took them out to hear your conversation clearer

“great! want to meet up at the front door when the bell rings?” they suggested, “sounds good!”

“thanks (name), i really appreciate it.” you waved goodbye and minseo returned back to their desk at the front

yujin approached you, “what did minseo say to you?”

you shrugged, “they asked if i wanted to hang out with them at lunch since their friends are all absent today.”

knowing how nice you were to nearly everyone, yujin assumed that you said yes to minseo’s offer, but deep inside he was wishing you’d hang out with him at lunch instead

“oh…so did you say yes?” you nodded

“oh, okay..” he walked back to his desk but you noticed that yujin grew much quieter afterwards, not speaking much to his peers and only when the teacher called on him

when the bell for lunch rang, everyone rushed out and you were the last to leave. but as you were about to head for the staircase, you felt someone softly grip your wrist

you turned to see yujin, “are you actually going with minseo?” you nodded, “yeah, i’ll see you later okay?”

“wait!” he exclaimed, “can we spend time today after school? I want to also hang out with you.” he shyly looked down

you chuckled, “don’t tell me you're jealous han yujin.” he looked up, “how did you know?”

“it’s quite obvious since you kept glaring at minseo the entire class, and now your saying you want to hang out this afternoon when you usually head to the academy.”

he looked away in embarrassment, “okay you got me.” he then softly held your hand, “have fun okay?” 

“i will, and i’ll see you after school.” you waved goodbye and went your different ways

[masterjedilenawrites]

Take Me Out

Bad Batch x Reader Exchange 2024

Crosshair x fem!reader | 4.7k words

Content: drinking, light angst, introspection, fluff, light humor, crushes, relationships, friendship, mentions of war and death, weapons (practice setting)

Prompts: "What am I even looking for?" - "I don't know" & "Sometimes I think some work on your communication skills wouldn't be such a bad idea."

My gift is for the event host - @ghostofskywalker! I was so excited to draw your name and I really hope you enjoy the fic. You put so much work and care into hosting these events for the fandom, it really is appreciated 🤗

I've actually had this story concept in mind for quite a while. I love that pretty much all of your prompts/wish-list items were able to fit in! We've got some platonic Hunter, romantic Crosshair, a little angst, a bit of fluff... Perfect!

Oh, and to keep things spoiler free (on my blog and for the event), this takes place before Order 66 and Omega.

Please go check out the @cloneficgiftexchange blog for all the other contributions to this great event! Fics are being posted all throughout today (4/13/24). Spread the love for fandom writers/creators by reblogging!

Vandor-3. Clone training facility: recreation sector. Winter.

You sat slumped over the bar, a drink cradled in your arms. You took lazy sips at the liquid, long past its effervescence, in between chewing on the straw. You could smell the evidence of your waning hygiene, being curled in on yourself like this. It disgusted you but not enough to do anything beyond self loathing. To say you were miserable was an understatement.

"Morning, Captain. A bit early for a drink, isn't it?"

The husky voice of the bar's newcomer was unmistakeable in who it belonged to. There were clones abound on this small moon, hundreds of identical-sounding men. But every once in a while you had the pleasure of hearing the one that was different.

You sluggishly swiveled your head and gave Sergeant Hunter a mock salute. He leaned against the bar beside you, seemingly torn between being amused and concerned by what he was seeing.

"Back so soon?" you asked, ignoring his own question. Though your speech wasn't slurred, your voice still betrayed some of the numbness you were working to surround yourself in. Which helped your friend make up his mind on how to feel.

"Easy mission," Hunter shrugged off the topic. "You okay? Did something happen?"

"No," you sighed and forced yourself to sit upright. Best to appear more in control and not give him reason to drag you to the med bay. "That's the problem. Nothing's happened."

Hunter frowned and slid onto the barstool next to you. You caught a whiff of soap as he did, a harsh contrast to your own odor that made you even more upset.

"I don't understand."

Your hands cupped around your glass, condensation pooling around your fingers, and you stared at the melting ice wishing to be as frozen and unfeeling.

"I don't understand, either," you whispered. "Why I'm still so... alone."

"Ah." Hunter placed a sympathetic hand on your shoulder. "That's right, you had that date you were going on. Another dud, then?"

You nodded, still refusing to look away from the ice cubes.

He hummed in thought. Your poor friend. How many times had he now had to come up with some sort of reassuring comment after another one of your failed attempts to find love? At least you were grateful you had such a friend, though. Where others would have made you feel guilty for admitting to loneliness, would have insisted they were company enough and all you had to do was ask for it, it's as simple as that, how dare you feel lonely when you aren't actually alone... Hunter was the one who always saw through to what you really meant. You were not what the other wanted, but you were both wanting, craving that kind of deep, romantic connection that seemed to allude you both. For Hunter, it was obviously his schedule that got in his way. For you... well, that was the mystery.

"You have to keep looking," was the sentiment Hunter settled on this time. He rubbed at your shoulder a bit, as if trying to smooth out your misery.

You huffed. His attempts to comfort were sweet, but not enough. You couldn't help but protest. "But with everyone I meet, I just find out what I don't want. What am I even looking for?"

"I don't know," Hunter shook his head sadly. "I don't know if anyone knows until they find it."

You groaned and slumped back forward, facepalming the bar top and wishing you could sink right into it. Sink down, down, down until you disappeared completely.

"Sorry, Cap," Hunter's now muffled voice attempted to chuckle, lighten the mood. "If I could track down your soul mate, I would. You know I would."

That comment was sweet enough. You forced yourself to stop sinking, lift yourself up again, and face your friend properly.

"I know. And I appreciate that. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be such a bummer today. It's just... it's been getting harder, is all."

He nodded and you nodded back and nothing further needed to be understood on the matter.

"Were you needing something from me?" you changed the subject. "Or did you come to day drink as well?"

"Ha, ha." Hunter started to get up. "Yeah no, I just wanted to let you know we were back for a few rotations, see if you'd have some time to finally come out and meet the boys."

You lifted up your glass and shook it a bit. "You're too late, I'm afraid. If I'd known you'd be back so soon, I wouldn't have started on this journey of self destruction."

Hunter titled his head at you, some of that trademark concern still showing. "This isn't going to be an all week thing, is it?"

You shrugged. Truthfully, you had no idea what to do with yourself. Making decisions even a day in advance seemed like too big of a commitment in your fragile state.

"I'd rather not meet any more new people right now, if it's all the same to you."

"I wouldn't consider them new. You've heard enough stories about each other by now. It's starting to get weird that you're not meeting, quite frankly."

You wanted to laugh, but the thought of introductions, stiff pleasantries, awkward small talk... It reminded you of every first date that never turned into a second, every dating app chat thread that went nowhere, every high hope you watched turn into disappointment. Even with a group like Hunter's brothers, the Bad Batch, with a reputation of being unconventional, who you'd only be making friends with just like you had with Hunter and every other clone on this moon... it was still too much for you to stomach.

"Sorry, maybe next time."

Hunter frowned, but he didn't overstep. "Suit yourself. Door's still open though. You know where to find us."

He made to walk out but paused to turn back to you for a moment.

"And hey, don't lose hope. We'll find our people soon enough. In the meantime, take care of yourself, alright?"

You waited until the bar doors closed behind him to let your tears fall.

* * *

Vandor-3. Woodland outskirts. Spring.

You were here. Finally.

You weren't able to pinpoint exactly where the turning point occurred, between crying yourself to sleep every night and being able to wake up with a smile on your face. A small one, of course, but a smile nonetheless. You weren't even sure it was something that had happened overnight. Slowly, eventually, the frost over your heart melted, the shadows in your thoughts grew thinner and lighter. Without even realizing you were drawing back the curtains and dusting off the shelves and each day being a little more open than you were the day before.

Your loneliness still existed. It came and went in waves, so while still devastating at times, you were at least afforded with periods of relief. Periods where you could smile again, find fulfillment in your work, and even dare to allow yourself to dream again. And not to mention taking more regular showers. It was always the little things that made the biggest difference, wasn't it?

And now here you were, standing in the early morning sun out in one of the training fields, the Havoc Marauder silhouetted against the sunrise as you shook hands with its crew in a meeting long overdue.

Hunter's stories had done the boys justice. Wrecker was just as larger than life as you'd pictured, aptly choosing to push past your outstretched hand and go in for a bone-crushing hug instead. Tech, who you'd come to know as the brains of the batch, only spared a second to be properly introduced before returning to fidget with some gadget. Echo was all politeness and disciplined respect, with his scomp-salute and ma'ams. And Crosshair... well, he was still on the ship asleep, which you supposed fit with the few facts you knew about him, too.

Hunter beamed beside them, clearly happy you had finally made the effort to meet his squad. His family, really. As a Captain overseeing drill training for the GAR, you knew better than anyone the close bonds these clones formed even before they stepped foot on a battlefield. This meant a lot to him, you being here. You felt awful for postponing so many times.

Once introductions were out of the way, and some pleasant conversation had passed, you eventually ventured out to the part of the training field that actually housed elements for training - your excuse for coming out here to meet everyone. A munitions crate full of shiny new blasters was carried between you and Wrecker while Hunter ran ahead to set up some targets. Tech and Echo went back to the ship to work on repairs.

"Aaaaugh. Only blasters?" Wrecker lamented upon opening the crate.

"Sorry, more budget cuts. This was all I could scrounge up for you guys."

Hunter was much more excited by the new weapons, though Wrecker still picked one up to try out. You held one as well but only used it to demonstrate different techniques. Just because you were good at training didn't mean you were the best at actually fighting.

The three of you picked off the various bottles, pots, and pans that Hunter had set up amongst the tree branches at the edge of the field for a short while. And on more than one occasion you found yourself pausing to breathe in the air and remind yourself that life was good. Maybe not how you wanted it, but it was still good and you'd need to continue to work on appreciating what you had.

After about an hour, there were only three bottles and a pan left, all proving tricky targets due to distance and angle. Hunter had even tried slinging a few knives to no avail.

"Okay I'm calling it," Wrecker announced with a huff. "One more missed shot and I'm blowing them up."

"I'll take that bet."

A new voice, one you'd never heard before, carried across the field. It was delicate and drawling and confident. Hunter chuckled and Wrecker rolled his eyes. And you... you had no idea that everything was about to change.

It was like he was moving in slow motion. Your surroundings blurred as the lanky figure caught the corner of your eye, your heart rate slowing as you turned and took him in. One confident step planted firmly in front of the other as he inched across the field. A sniper rifle perched on his shoulder. A toothpick between pursed lips. An eye surrounded by a reticle and narrowed in determination. He didn't even spare you a glance, and thank the gods, because if he had, you were sure your heart would've stopped beating altogether.

He squared off as soon as he reached the marks, bringing his rile forward to aim in a swift and careful motion. His head rested against the shaft, his tattooed eye squinted through the scope. You imagined him taking this stance a thousand times in his short life. It looked as natural a position as curling up on a couch might look for you.

You couldn't look away, not wanting to miss a single second of whatever this mesmerizing man was about to do. He was still for a moment, impressively so. You realized you were holding your breath as you watched, not wanting even your exhale to interfere with his process.

And then he fired. Once, twice, threefourfive times. Bang, bang, bang. Each in a different direction but no less precise than the one before. The first ricocheted off the pan and hit the green bottle, just as the second hit the red bottle. The three-shot volley was aimed at the branch the bottles sat on, causing it to crack and dangle even closer to the ground. And just when you thought the show couldn't be more over the top, the sniper swiveled his rifle toward the sky at a passing bird, clipped its wing with a shot, and then whipped out a pistol from his hip and fired at the remaining blue bottle just before the branch snapped and fell to the ground.

A few seconds later, the bird tumbled on top of the pile of shattered glass and splintered wood.

"Aaaand training is now over," said Hunter with a nod of his head. He raised his voice as he called out to his brother. "You'd better clean that shit up!"

The sniper flipped him the bird before sauntering off to clean up.

"Uh, you alright?"

Hunter paused in his own packing of gear to give you a concerned look. You were still staring after the newcomer, undoubtedly the lone Batcher you had yet to meet. Crosshair. Your brain had short-circuited with what you had witnessed him do, yes. But it was more than that. There was something about him. Something intriguing and attractive. Different than anyone you had ever known, and yet, somehow feeling so real and comfortable at the same time.

After a few waves of your friend's hand in your face, you snapped back.

"That," you breathed.

Hunter cocked a confused eyebrow.

"That is what I'm looking for."

* * *

Vandor-3. Clone training facility: recreation sector. Summer.

You were insanely busy. Separatist activity was ramping up in almost every corner of the galaxy and the GAR was responding to each new threat with full force. Rotations of new clone units were frequently arriving at the facility, one after another. You'd cycle them through a few trainings to get them certified on whatever was needed and then ship them right back out. And in between were all the additional tasks that needed to be taken care of. Piles of paperwork and coordinating schedules and ship inspections and updated security debriefings.

And yet through it all, you still had time to entertain the one thought that buzzed in the background of your mind: Crosshair. Every meeting, every meal, every training sim, first thing in the morning and last thing at night. He was there. Crosshair, Crosshair, Crosshair. On your mind, in your heart, driving you absolutely mad.

In the beginning you'd pretended it wasn't about him, specifically. You were simply happy to know what you wanted now, that you had a type and it existed. That was all. Hunter had turned up his nose, completely bewildered as to why that would be your type. You hadn't been able to give him much at the time; it would take you many rotations more to start describing the details of your newly discovered attraction.

But over time, it became harder to push aside the nagging thought that you hadn't found what you were looking for, but rather who. Specifically. Exactly. Why try to find someone like him when you already liked... him?

Oh there were plenty of ways you could answer that question, all of them self-deprecating and none of them productive. You could count on one hand now the number of times you had been in the same room as him, let alone interacted with him. The Batch may be frequenting the place more often as the war picked up, but not nearly as often as you needed to gauge whether someone like Crosshair would, could, or honestly even should be as interested in you as you were in him.

Today they were back on the grounds so Hunter could fill out some paperwork, and your heart had not stopped racing all morning. It was practically threatening to punch right out of your chest and run away. You weren't sure why, considering you'd probably only end up seeing Hunter this time. The rest of the Batch usually didn't venture into the facility unless they were staying overnight. But it seemed even knowing Crosshair was on the same planet as you got you worked up these days.

You carried Hunter's stack of paperwork with you now, intending to drop it off to him in between some meetings you had. As you hustled down the halls, you rehearsed a few ways you could subtly ask him how Crosshair was doing.

But as it turned out, you would have the opportunity to ask him yourself. If you could get over your frazzled shock at finding him in the rec room instead of Hunter.

The room was conveniently empty, making the silence between you that much more potent. Crosshair was standing awkwardly to the side, just behind one of the battered sofas, as if he had already been confused about what he should be doing before you pushed through the door. He stared at you and you stared at him and the moment only lasted for a few seconds but it felt like an eternity.

"Oh, um. Hi. Crosshair." You averted your gaze, despite having prayed the past several nights that you could see his face again soon. "I was... expecting Hunter."

That didn't sound right. You hoped he didn't take that to mean that you'd prefer if Hunter was here now. Obviously you didn't.

"He stepped out," Crosshair responded in that cool, even tone of his. Your eyes couldn't help but snap back to his as he talked. You wanted him to say more but he never did.

"Oh, okay. I just had some paperwork to give him."

Crosshair only hummed at first. You shuffled your feet a bit, debating whether you should make an attempt at small talk, try to coax more out of him, maybe even hint that you were interested in him. The thought terrified you, but not as much as the thought of being alone. You couldn't complain about that if you continued to let these opportunities pass by without at least trying to make a connection.

You shifted your weight again, intending to keep your feet planted so you wouldn't make a run for it, and Crosshair uttered your name hurriedly.

"Wait," he said. He'd thought you were leaving. You widened your eyes at him, waiting to hear what he'd wanted to tell you first. He seemed to hesitate before finally saying, "I was wondering if you knew what soup they were serving today?"

"Oh. Uh, potato, I think."

"How boring."

You smirked. "I know, right? They could at least serve it with some hot sauce."

Crosshair hummed.

The silence settled back in, though now you felt better about things. You'd practically had a conversation. Learned a little more about each other. It was a good start. 

Your commlink suddenly beeped at your side and you blanched, remembering the meeting you were supposed to be heading to.

"I uh, I've got to go. It was nice talking to you."

It pained you to cut off your moment with him so quickly, but alas you were left with no choice. You shuffled back out into the corridor, though you only made it a few steps before realizing you still had Hunter's paperwork and could just leave it with Crosshair.

The rec room had an old school door that swung in and out on hinges. It was slightly ajar from when you passed through, and already in the few seconds since something was happening on the other side of it. You could hear more voices.

"...the kriff was that?" First, the deep tones of Hunter, equal parts annoyed and weary.

"That wasn't the plan." Then, the resolute voice of Echo, backing him up.

"What?" Crosshair bit back at them.

"You were supposed to ask her out," Hunter clarified.

"No, that was not the plan," Crosshair countered. "I needed to lay some groundwork first."

"You call that groundwork? You were talking about soup."

"And she agreed. No one ever agrees with me on the soup around here."

"What a special connection," Echo said.

Hunter sighed so hard you swore you could feel the breeze through the doorway. "You know, sometimes I think some work on your communication skills wouldn't be such a bad idea."

"What?"

"Never mind. Do what you like. Keep pushing away anyone who tries to love you and see where that gets you. Just know that it's exhausting, watching the two of you dance around each other like this."

"And kind of pathetic," added Echo.

You were against the wall by the door, holding in your breath for so long you were about to pass out. Or maybe it was the euphoria of knowing Crosshair was interested that made your head sway. Regardless, you had mere moments to make a move or let the opportunity pass. You dug into your pocket, fished out a pen, and scribbled a note on the top page of paperwork. Was it professional? Absolutely not. But the GAR would get over it. You left the papers by the door, making sure your note was turned to face it.

There's better soups on Coruscant. Let's go out sometime.

* * *

Vandor-3. Woodland outskirts. Autumn.

You were alone, standing in the middle of the training field, the early setting sun behind you casting a dim shadow across the remains of your latest training exercise. A chill was just starting to set in, causing you to tug at your jacket and pull it around you a bit tighter. You liked these moments, rare as they were recently. A quiet time to yourself. Not even to think, but simply to be. Present and comfortable. And you.

The wind picked up and sang through the taller blades of grass as a ship approached for landing. Your moment was over, but a new happiness settled in its place. Minutes later, the Havoc Marauder was opening its hatch and spitting out its soldiers.

"Captain," Hunter gave you a two-finger salute as he passed by.

"Sergeant," you returned with a smile.

Echo was close behind, giving you a respectful nod. Wrecker hauled a munitions crate in one hand and hit you up for a high five with the other. Tech was oblivious as he hunched over a data pad.

They filed by, one after the other, headed straight for the barracks, and what you hoped were the showers. They all knew not to linger, that you'd catch up with them later. This was your time with Crosshair.

The sniper was leaning up against the hatch opening, arms folded across a plastoid chest and a toothpick lazily perched between slightly curled lips. He took you in for a moment and you could feel yourself glowing in response to his soft gaze.

"Showing those clankers who's boss, I see," he said as he made his way down the gangway. He nodded his head toward the mess of scrap metal behind you.

You gave a half shrug. "My reaction time is getting better, but I still can't get the angles right with those pucks."

Crosshair inched up to you, gently resting his hands on either side of your waist. "Have you been doing the breathing exercises like I showed you?"

You nodded. Your hands instinctually came up to his run along his arms until they found the crook of his elbows, the only place not barring your touch by armor.

"And using the laser sight?"

You nodded a little slower and Crosshair tsked.

"I want to be good without it. Like you." You added a little extra honey to your words so he wouldn't reprimand you too much. It had been an adjustment for the two of you at first, he stepping into a training role and you stepping back to receive instruction for once. Thankfully the frustrations seemed to diminish the more your relationship progressed.

"You have to be patient," he said, giving your waist a slight squeeze to accentuate his point. "You aren't like the regs you train. You're building your skills, taking care of yourself."

You hummed, more in thought than agreement. "Will I ever have to use these skills someday, do you think? Is it really getting that bad out there?"

You tried not to think about how many soldiers you had trained only to be sent to a battlefield to die. How many of the shinies you were drilling right now would likely be killed soon. How many more would be brought in to take their place. You'd thought you'd known what you were getting yourself into with this job. But the relentless cycle of it all was getting to you more and more, especially as the Republic continued to be challenged in larger scales and higher stakes. It never seemed to end.

"It's hard to say," Crosshair responded. "We have to prepare for the worst."

You hated that answer, but you wouldn't let him see it. Not yet. Your fears and your displeasures, anger and sorrow, were things yet to be fully explored in this new relationship. All in due time. So you simply smiled, plucked the toothpick out of his mouth and tossed it aside. 

"And hope for the best, right?"

He smiled back, or at least moved his mouth in the direction of a smile, as much as you could usually get from the reserved man. "Yes, of course."

He leaned forward and rested his forehead against yours. You both closed your eyes and breathed each other in. There was warmth in his embrace. A promise in the steady hands he held you with. Vulnerability in the skin that gently touched yours. To have someone this close, someone who was still more stranger than friend, though no less beloved, was what you had always wanted. And for once, what you wanted was just as lovely and fulfilling as you'd hoped. No catch. No deals. No unintended consequences. Just you and him and happiness.

All too soon he pulled away. His hand sought yours as he turned in the direction of the barracks. The longer you stayed behind, the worse the teasing from the others would be. They were only respectful of your relationship to a point, and after that it was fair game for a laugh. So you willingly followed.

"Crosshair?"

"Hm?"

"I was thinking about Hunter...."

The sniper glanced at you suspiciously.

"Well, you know he and I have been friends for a while. And he's confided a few things in me before. About what he wants. Or thinks he wants. He's changed his mind a few times on the specifics. But all in the same gist."

"Where are you going with this?"

"I don't know, I just feel like I owe him for helping me get through a tough time. And if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have ever met you. So--"

Crosshair cut you off with a groan. "If you're trying to get me to play matchmaker..."

"It would get some of the attention off of us," you quickly offered. "If Hunter had someone he was bringing around, too. Or even just interested in."

Crosshair frowned in thought. "There was a bartender on Scarif he kept checking out..."

You grinned and squeezed his hand affectionately. "See? Just keep an eye out and nudge him a bit. Who knows what could happen."

You could tell he was trying not to roll his eyes for your sake. Instead he squeezed your hand in return. "Or you could come with us and nudge him yourself?"

Your walking slowed, right as you were about to cross the facility boundary line. You would have to let go of his hand once you crossed it, keep a professional distance, share your company with others. And once the Batch's business here concluded, then you would have to let him go and watch him disappear into the sky with all the prayers you could possibly send with him. And then you would be on your own. Waiting, waiting, always waiting. And maybe he would return, and maybe he wouldn't.

And heaven forbid you would ever end up alone again.

"Or you can stay," he said. The quietness of his voice betrayed what he really meant, what he really wanted. 

And you knew what you wanted, too. Without you realizing, it was getting easier and easier for you to define your desires. And not only that, but to pursue them, too. To know your happiness was worth the risk of disappointment. It was clear to you now that you were not only worthy, but also capable. The man standing before you, holding your hand, gazing at you like nothing else mattered, was proof enough.

And so you said, "Take me with you."

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[choicesficwriterscreations]

June Creator of the Month: Thosehallowedhalls

Please welcome this month’s Creator of the Month is @thosehallowedhalls.

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists. The writer or artist is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTM's can be found here.

Quick Links:

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1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I can't remember exactly. 2021, I think? Laws of Attraction was on its tenth chapter.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined in January of this year. I was upset with Crimes of Passion 2, so I wrote a couple of stories about it. I had deactivated my old Tumblr long ago, so I had to open a new one.

3- How did you pick your blog name?

I love old buildings - the history, the ambiance. I tried hallowedhalls, but it was taken, so I added the article.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

I… have zero recollection of this post. But I'm big on nostalgia and mourning past times, so the fact that this was my first post tracks.

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both?

I write fanfiction. I've been teaching myself to draw, but I'm not anywhere near close to sharing what I do.

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

I started writing fanfiction way back in… 2010? For about four or five years. Then I stopped until December 2023.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Crimes of Passion on both counts.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

That would be The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm, inspired by The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. I do still like it, but I would tighten up the writing a bit. I had barely written any fiction for several years at that point, and the lack of practice shows.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created?

I keep going back and forth between The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm and Home Without. Both are angsty short series.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I was taken aback by the comments on The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm. I'd posted it on AO3 a few weeks before, and had gotten a handful of kudos and one comment, but within 24 hours of posting it here, I had several lovely reblogs. It was a welcome surprise. Stories with fewer comments… I guess Home Without. The first chapter got quite a bit of love, but by the time the final chapter rolled around, fewer people were interacting.

11- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I love a balance, but I'd say angst with a happy ending. I enjoy the breadth of emotions angst lets you explore.

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

There are bits and pieces of me in all of them. Emma has my sarcasm, and Raine has my need to look for the best in people. There may be more, but if so, it wasn't done intentionally.

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

Perfectionism. Like I said before, the lack of writing practice shows. I know that the only way to get better is to keep writing, but I hate seeing the gap between what I do and what I want to do. Catch-22.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

My Sebastyan x Emma fic, Of Cloudless Climes and Starry Skies. There are only a couple of chapters left, but I've been struggling with it for a couple of months now.

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first?

Oh, hell no.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

So many writers have influenced my writing throughout the years, including authors I do not currently read. The Brontë sisters, Charles Dickens, Nora Roberts, Jane Austen, Courtney Milan, Alyssa Cole… I could go on and on. Fanfic writers… There are a lot, but off the top of my head, @inlocusmads, @coffeewithcutcaffeine, @gaiuskamilah, @aria-ashryver, @jerzwriter, @dutifullynuttywitch, @aces-and-angels, @petalouda85, and @storyofmychoices. I know there are more.

17- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Home Without. I'm a sucker for good pining, and I'd love to see all that mutual longing play out onscreen - not to mention that reunion.

18- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art?

I do. I'm currently working on a horror short story, a MG novel, and a dual timeline mystery that's still in the research stages.

19- What other hobbies do you have?

Reading, non-fandom writing, drawing, learning new things (especially languages!), going on walks, and drinking enough coffee to alarm medical professionals anywhere.

[anakin-pilled]

SILVER SPRINGS (Lo'ak x Fem! Reader)

pairing: lo'ak x fem! reader

wordcount: 7.6k

warnings: angst, fandom cliches, amateur writing, bantering, unrequited love (?), complex family dynamics, A LOT OF CLICHES IM SORRY, bad pacing (my bad bro idk how to pace a story im new to this), not sure what else as this is pretty tame

rating: SFW! though my blog is 18+ because i interact with nsfw content, anyone can technically read this?

taglist: @teyamsatan

author's note: okay hi this is my first fanfic that i've ever written before? not counting fanfics i wrote in middle school anyway i got the idea for this fanfic after listening to silver springs by fleetwood mac and i was so obsessed with this idea that i had to make it come true? im a huge neteyam girly so this is a shocker that my first fic ever is about lo'ak (he's my babygirl, just not the LOML like neteyam). uhhh im only familiar with academic writing and this is my first time EVER dipping my toe into the waters of creative writing so pls bear with me if this is not perfect. i actually think this is quite flat and tbh i hate the pacing like its actually awful and there is so much room for improvement, but hey what can i do? IM A NEWBIE AT THIS!! with that being said, if you do decide to read, please treat me with some grace because i am sensitive and i did this purely for fun!!! i know my lo'ak stans are starving for fics and im here to deliver!!!! i am not a professional or seasoned writer by any means but i really tried my best to create something enjoyable ): i don't know why this ended up being so long but it did and there WILL be a part two, i already have it outlined. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, here is my first avatar fanfiction!!

proofread and edited but i got lazy toward the end LOL if you see any mistakes, please tell me kindly <3

You could be my silver spring

Blue-green colors flashin'

I would be your only dream

Your shinin' autumn ocean crashin'

The forest blended into a mixture of vibrant colors as you ran away from the incoming threat. Beautiful shades of blue, green, and purple passed around you. The feeling of the bare ground, soft and pliant from the morning dew, normally imbued you with a sense of stability and peace. As long as your feet were on the ground and connected to Ewya’s bountiful moon, you knew everything would be alright. However, this time, the feeling of the bare ground underneath your feet felt the opposite of stable and peaceful. The ground served as a reminder of how much longer you had to run until you reached the safe confines of the Omitikaya clan. 

You stopped running with a quick halt. Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to catch your breath. The beads in your hair clacked together in a cacophony as you looked around in different directions. The sun broke through the tree canopy and highlighted the forest like a kaleidoscope. Swish. You quickly turned your head to the other side to catch sight of what made the noise but all you could see was the rustling of the bush–as if whatever you were looking for was looking for you too before running off. Without a second to spare, you dashed in the direction of the village. But you only made it a few feet ahead of you before you were tackled by something heavy and shoved to the forest ground.

“I win.” said the voice from above in a triumphant, but annoying, manner. 

“You got to be faster than that, ‘eylan.” As you shaded your eyes with your hand, you were met with the illuminating picture of Lo’ak on top of you. The sun shone above on Lo’ak and cast him in beautiful rays of light. He looked like an angel–like a celestial being sent straight from Ewya’s heart and into your eyesight. Though you have never seen an angel, Norm described them as ethereal and pure religious beings. And at this moment, Lo’ak was an angel. 

“Get off me, fatass.” You said as you pushed Lo’ak weight off your body. You secretly loved the weight of his body on yours and how it radiated a warmth that hugged your body and soul. Lo’ak rolled off with ease and laid next to you on the foliage. “Hey! No need to insult me because you lost yet another round of hunter and prey.” 

Hunter and prey. A game that all Omitcayan children played growing up. And though you and Lo’ak were no longer children, you continued to play this game. Lo’ak claims it’s a great way to burn energy and let loose. You suspected he liked playing so often because it allowed him to avoid whatever daily chores his father, the Olo’eyktan, assigned him. And while you could think of better ways to spend your time, you indulged in Lo’ak’s childish whims because it brought him happiness. What type of best friend would you be if you didn’t? 

“I’m not insulting you because I lost. I could care less about losing,” You explained. “I’m insulting you because tackled me to the ground and put your entire weight on my body. Lay off the yovo fruit and I might insult you less.” 

Lo’ak scoffed at your response and stuck his tongue out in a mocking manner. “You mean the yovo fruit that Spider and I specifically collected because you asked for it? Yeah, I got put on ikran pen duty for a week after that since we missed curfew.” 

You simply rolled your eyes and aimed your middle finger at Lo’ak. Yeah, you definitely spent way too much time around Lo’ak. 

You both basked in the sun and listened to the sound of the forest: your home, your comfort place, the lifeline of the People. You thanked Eywa every day for the forest and the way it provided for you endlessly–from the delicious yovo fruit, to the medicinal herbs, fauna, and everything in between. There was a gentle rustle in the air as it approached low afternoon. If closed your eyes and listened hard enough, you could hear the faint buzz of the insects and the leaves fluttering. 

As you turned on your side to face Lo’ak, you noticed he still had his eyes shut. Your eyes raked over his stripes–the stripes that would forever be engrained in your brain–and focused on the armband that fits snugly on his upper arm. The weaved armband was made out of dried, violet stalks from the tstxa'a plant and braided into a traditional, intricate Omatikayan pattern. You added tiny clay beads that you hand-molded and painted a color very similar to a marigold–you captured copious amounts of juice from the banana fruit just to have enough pigment to create a dye. A small smile appeared on your face as you recall how long it took you to make the armband. 

Your eyes slowly made their way toward his face. They widened as they realized Lo’ak’s eyes were open and staring at you too. The air was charged with tension as you both continued to stare at each other in silence. 

You and Lo’ak always had this weird ability to communicate through eye contact alone. Your friendship, which was forged in childhood, ran so deep that words failed to represent what your eyes could. He was your other half as much as you were his. In these small moments of intimacy, you remember just how much you love Lo’ak. There was an unspoken bond between you two–a bond that went beyond friendship and teetered on the edge of romantic love. And while it was undeniable that there was something more happening between the two of you, your relationship stayed on that flimsy edge. 

“What are you thinking about,” you whispered in a tone so soft that it reached Lo’ak ears like a tender caress. 

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking,” Lo’ak replied with a teasing lilt in his voice and a glitter in his amber eyes. While everyone in the Omatikaya clan had the same shades of bright, yellow eyes, you thought Lo’ak had the prettiest. You raised the muscle on your face, where your eyebrows would have been if you had, and furrowed your forehead in suspicious knowing. 

“Thinki-” “I’m thinking about how funny it would be if I beat your ass in another round of hunter and prey! Last one to the village has to take over foraging duty!,” Lo’ak shouted with a boyish smile as he got up quickly and ran in the direction of his kelku.  

You got up from the lush grass and ran after him with another exacerbated breath.

The day drawled along as you patrolled the forest for the dandetiger tree. You looked for its long, azure leaves and armored trunk. As a healer in training, you were tasked by Mo’at to look for the tree for samples of the resin-like substance that it leaked. The sticky substance was extremely helpful to the Omatikaya clan in many ways as it behaved like an adhesive. It was especially important to healers as they used the dangetiger tree as part of treating wounds and ensuring bandages stuck and protected healing wounds. The healing hut ran low on its supply, thus you found yourself wandering through the forest. Kiri offered to accompany you, but you could tell she rather focus on perfecting the paste she was mixing. A major perk of being best friends with Lo’ak is that you also became close with his family and found a small niche within the Sully family.

You were an extension of Lo’ak, but also the opposite of him in some ways. Whereas Lo’ak was more energetic and impulsive, you were calmer and sensical. You both balanced each other perfectly; you were the yin to his yang. While Lo’ak’s nature often got him in trouble with his family, namely his father and older brother, you loved his high energy and zest for life. Sure, he could use more pragmatism in his daily thinking, but you saw Lo’ak’s personality as a blessing more than a hindrance, especially in times of war and destruction. If Lo’ak was your sun, then you were his moon–stable and outer-worldly. You were unwavering. Your nurturing nature and kind soul always amazed Lo’ak, even in the worse of times, you took it upon yourself to think and act as an optimist. You carried yourself with a sense of dignity that Lo’ak wishes he could replicate.

Though none of you ever admitted it out loud, you and Lo’ak knew that you loved each other in a way that best friends didn’t.

Despite your differences, you both had a passion for exploring and adventure. If Lo’ak went anywhere, you followed. And if he got in any trouble, you were only a few steps behind him. While Lo’ak intention for mischief was partially caused by the motivation to piss off his father, you believed that Eywa made Pandora for the purpose of exploring. Why would she make Pandora so magnificent and rich in life if not to experience every single crevice, nook, and cranny of it? While the forest would always be your home and the place you want to spend the rest of your life in, you could not deny the appeal of a nomadic lifestyle like the Olangi clan. However, with the return of the sky people on Pandora, your exploring had been cut to a short. Unable to venture into the unknown parts of the forest, the parts that resulted in a scolding or two from both your mom and Mr. Sully, you were forced to stay within the clan’s boundary lines.

Your thoughts were cut short as your heard movement in the background. The bag on your shoulder was discarded to the ground as you took out your bow and arrow. You were no warrior, but you begged Lo’ak to teach you enough to be able to defend yourself. Any Na’vi should know this little. You prayed to Eywa that it wasn’t a palulukan, or worse—a sky demon. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of your face as you aimed your bow in the direction of where you heard the noise. You aimed at the bushes before letting your final finger release the bow.

“Relax, syulang! It’s just me, Lo’ak!,” he said as he came out from the bushes of loreyu and walked to where you were standing. “Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.”

“Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.” 

As Lo’ak walked closer to you, you noticed the downturn expression on his face. Your immediate heart softened. He must have had another fight with his father, you thought to yourself. Lo’ak turned his face toward yours and you saw the unshed tears in his eyes that threatened to fall any second now.

“I, uh, I was training with my father until we got into a fight and I stormed off,” he said with a shaky breath. You could tell Lo’ak was trying to keep his composure, not wanting to show that vulnerable side he desperately tries to hide away. Yet, you knew better than that. Every time Lo’ak tried to shut down and hide his emotions, you came running after him and knocked down the fragile walls he built around himself. The walls were fragile because Lo’ak knew he would and could never shut you out completely. He took a deep, shaky breath before continuing, “I’m just so sick of it. He expects me to be this perfect son and soldier all in one, but I’m not Neteyam. I’m just Lo’ak.”

You always thought Lo’ak was the most complex person you ever met. He was the second-born son of the revered Toruk Makto and mighty Palulukun Makto. But, Lo’ak was so much more than that to you. He was more than both of his parents. Though he would never admit it, Lo’ak was a lost soul. Not quite like Neteyam, the mighty warrior and dutiful son, or the spiritual Kiri who was literally like Ewya’s disciple. Hell, even everyone knew Tuk would grow into a fine, strong-spirited woman! Lo’ak didn't know where he fit in his family. Of course, the Sully family loved him, and Lo’ak loved his family just as much. But that still didn’t stop the gnawing, deep feeling in Lo’ak’s subconscious from telling him that he would never amount to greatness like the rest of his family. You wished Lo’ak wouldn’t be so hard on himself because you also had a deep feeling in your subconscious that Lo’ak was destined for greatness–the feeling was embedded so deep in your bones that you would bet your left on it. 

“I know that I’m a fuck up.” 

“You’re no-”

“It’s okay, syulang. I know I’m a fuck up. I can see it in the tribes’ faces every time they hear my father lecture me, or worse, hear Neteyam lecture me. I can see it in my fathers’ eyes and in the way the rest of my family pities me.”

“Your family doesn’t pity you, Lo’ak. If anything, they pity the way your father has been forced into this weird dichotomy of the punisher and protector ever since the sky demons returned and how it’s taken an effect on your relationship,” you tried to explain as sweetly as possible. 

You took a step closer to Lo’ak and examined his face. Though his tears had dried and his eyes were now puffy, you could still tell there was a great sadness within him. You wished you could take all his pain and suffering so he didn’t have to. 

“I don’t know who I am besides the fuck up, or the troublemaker. I feel like my entire existence is defined by all the things I am not. Defined by the way I’m different from Neteyam or Kiri. I want to be defined by who I am, but I don’t even know who that is most of the time,” said Lo’ak. “I try so hard, but it is never enough to satisfy my father. Or myself. I feel this heavy pressure in my chest and no matter what I do to relieve it, it stays. If I am not meant to be the next Olo’eyktan or the next Tsahik, then who am I meant to be? Sure–I am training to become a warrior, but I’m not sure if this is something I want or if it is a role I am forced into. I know I’m impulsive and reckless and irresponsible, but I try so hard, but what if that isn’t enough to look over all my flaws and mistakes?”

You moved even closer and tucked one of Lo’ak’s front braids behind his ear. You always loved his hair like this. It suited his face so well. His braids were adorned by various beads, each with its own significance and memory attached to them. The beads he wore today were a pretty amethyst color. Your mind quickly flashbacked to the day you both created the matching beads. You both swam all day in one of the forest’s ponds trying to find the purple stones underwater so you could both craft new beads. Lo’ak almost passed out from lack of air twice and your hair was so tangled by the end of the day that it took your mother three hours to undo the gnarly knots. It was totally worth it, however, because you gained new accessories and memories to match. But before you could let yourself get too far away in the past, you shifted your attention towards Lo’ak and began to speak.

“I see you, Lo’ak. I see all of you. I know that you feel like a lost soul and that you get too caught up in comparing yourself to the rest of your family. And I truly wished you didn’t compare yourself to others so much because you are so special.” Lo’ak’s face grew warm at your words. Before he could respond, you interrupted him and continued to talk. “You feel like you are too different from your family and think you do not fit in, but you do! You are the light of your family; you bring laughter and happiness. The Sully dynamic would not be the same without you–it would be too serious and no one would have fun! Lo’ak, you have a strong heart like your father. Even though you could use some impulse control, I know you never have ill intentions. We are still so young and have so much more maturing to do. Do not let yourself be defined by the mistakes of your past. Mistakes are bound to happen–they are as natural as birth and death. You’re the light of my life too. Without you, there is no one else in this clan that could make me smile as much as you do. No one to explore with and quench our thirst for curiosity. You say that you are impulsive, but there is too much excitement in your body to contain it. I love seeing your excitement and wander–it is a reminder of Pandora’s goodness and the way Eywa intended us to live. You are not irresponsible, you are just learning along the way like we all are. There is no one like you, and my heart is torn because you do not see yourself in the same way. I pray to Eywa that you could see yourself through my eyes.” You then placed one hand on Lo’ak’s chest, right above his heart.

“​​Nga yawne lu oer, Lo’ak.” There was no going back now. You said it–the words that would either be fatal to your soul or make your heart sore higher than the Hallejuah Mountains. And though there was a risk of Lo’ak rejecting you completely, you jumped off the fragile cliff that your friendship lived on. All the intimate moments, the knowing smiles, and the lifetime of shared memories led you to this moment. 

A moment of silent pass as you waited for Lo’ak’s response to your confession. Lo'ak did not expect you to confess, but he knew at some point it was bound to happen. Just not right now, under these cruel circumstances, in a time of devastation.

You shouldn’t have confessed. Lo’ak wasn’t ready for it.

The look in your eyes was so sincere and so full of unconditional love. You are the only person who could truly see Lo’ak for everything that he is and everything he was meant to become. The light hit your eyes in the right way and Lo’ak could swear they were glittering. Ewya blessed her with both heart and beauty, he said in his head. Lo’ak could only stare as he still reeled from your heartfelt speech. He wasn’t an idiot—Lo’ak knew that there was a special chemistry between him and his best friend. And he also knew that it was the type of chemistry that only two people in love have. Lo’ak has known ever since he was a small child that you were his endgame. Your years spent together only solidified his hypothesis. 

Life on Pandora could be unforgiving and unrelenting, but you were the complete opposite. You were forgiving, always ready to accept Lo’ak back into your arms and heart after every mistake he made. Though these mistakes were rarely made towards you, you still welcomed him every time. You were always there for him. But, Lo’ak didn’t fall in love with you because of the fact you were always there for him. It did play a big part, but Lo’ak knew that would be a selfish reason for falling in love. Instead, Lo’ak fell in love with you because you were…well, you. You were kind and always treated your fellow clan members with the utmost consideration and respect. You were perceptive, never wanting to misconstrue a situation and analyzing all nuances before speaking on something. Because of this, everything you said or did was genuine. Lo’ak loved this the most about you. Where Lo’ak felt everyone in the clan (excluding his family and Spider) give him fake niceties, you were 100% authentic towards him. You never condescendingly spoke to him or treated him like a chore that had to be put up with. Compassion and understanding were what you treated Lo’ak with. These are all things he rarely experienced with other Na’vi. Yet, you also weren’t afraid to call out Lo’ak on his bullshit and humble him. You somehow balanced outspokenness and tenderness all at once. This lit a fire in Lo’ak soul.

This thought both excited and scared him. The thought of loving someone unconditionally, and being loved unconditionally, seemed like something too good to be true. Only something reserved for people who deserved it. Lo’ak knew you deserved unconditional love, but it couldn’t be with him. Despite everything you said about him and the way it almost glued together his broken self-esteem, Lo’ak could not return your confession in good consciousness. It’s not that Lo’ak didn't love you–hell, he loves you more than anyone or anything on this moon! But, his insecurities would not allow you to love him or allow him to love you. He didn’t deserve to love or be loved, not when his insecurities kept up awake at night, taunting his brain with “You’ll never be good enough” or “You’re a failure of a son and brother.” You deserved better than Lo’ak and all of his broken parts. You needed someone who was the best–someone like Neteyam, but not Neteyam himself because that would be the final nail in Lo’ak’s coffin. Lo’ak knows his recklessness, impulsivity, and natural gravitation toward the unknown was acceptable because he is young. These may be the traits you love about Lo’ak now, but he knows very well these are the same traits that can make you fall out of love with him too. After all, you won’t be young forever and it won’t be cute forever. But what if he never grows out of this? What if this is who he is meant to be? No, Lo’ak would not subject you to this fate. 

And so, for once in his life, Lo’ak let fear take over his decision. Your face morphed into an expression of shock and confusion before settling on a still face.

“I am sorry, syulang. I can’t do this right now.” 

You watched Lo’ak retreat from the spot you both stood in. What the fuck just happened?

You spent the next few days in a strange haze as you processed what happened between you and Lo’ak. At first, you were angry. How could Lo’ak just leave you hanging like that? For Ewya’s sake, he could have said anything else and it would have been a better response than what he said. You laid your fucking heart out on your sleeve, waiting for Lo’ak to take it and claim it forever. After your initial response to the situation, you started to worry. Maybe you misinterpreted your relationship. What if Lo’ak didn’t love you and you just thought he did because of how close you were? No, that didn’t sound right. You knew Lo’ak loved you too. Not even in a delusional way to comfort yourself, but there was no denying you both loved each other. Did you just confess at the wrong time? Perhaps it would have been better if you confessed when Lo’ak wasn’t fighting with his father. But, you didn’t even mean to confess! Well, you did mean to confess but not at that exact moment. You were trying to comfort Lo’ak and reassure him that he was wrong, that someone could love him. It just seemed like the right thing to say. What if it wasn’t? What if it overwhelmed Lo’ak and pushed him away? Now you felt like the jerk for confessing at such a moment. But Lo’ak was a jerk too for just leaving you! You really wished you could talk to him, or that he would talk to you, but the timing was horrible. The war party went out a few days ago, and it was Lo’ak’s first time joining the mission. But of course, things never go as planned. Over-enthusiasm from Lo’ak’s and an injured Neteyam caused Mr. Sully to put Lo’ak on lockdown for the last few days. This was the first day Lo’ak was allowed some freedom to explore, that’s what Kiri told you before she left with her brother, Spider, and Tuk. You wanted to join them in their adventure today, but you were still reeling from your last conversation with Lo’ak and decided it would be better to stay in the village. You needed one more day to unscramble your thoughts before approaching him.

The tension between you and Lo’ak had been festering, but it quickly came to a stop once you saw him walk back into the village with his entire family. Jake and Neytiri walked walk in front of their children with heavy looks on their faces. Jake looked angry, yet worn at the same time. His mouth was pressed in a tight line and the wrinkles in his forehead looked more apparent than they ever have before. Neytiri walked beside Jake with Tuk’s hand in hers in a tight grasp, as if she never wanted to let her baby go ever again. Her expression was harder to read, but you could tell the tsakarem was worried by her stiff posture. Kiri trailed behind her parents with a slouchy form and arms across her torso. She looks dejected. And finally in the back were Neteyam and Lo’ak. Spider was nowhere to be seen, which you found odd as he went with the rest of the Sully children into the forest, but you assumed he must have gone back to the human outpost before curfew. 

I wonder what happened. Something must have happened if the entire family walked in like that. 

Jake and Neytiri quickly made their way to their kelku and closed the opening flaps before any of their children could come in. The Sully children then made their way toward the side of their kelku and leaned forward on their hands as they attempted to listen to their parent's conversation. You wanted to make your way towards them and figure out what the hell happened. Just as you were about to walk over to them, Lo’ak turned around and his eyes scanned the village as if he were looking for something or someone. Lo’ak’s eyes then met yours and with a small nod, you understood what he was trying to say. Later. At our spot. 

Your stomach turned to bubbles as a feeling of cold anxiety washed over your body. You weren’t sure if it was because of Lo’ak or something else, but you knew whatever it was, it was not good. 

Lo’ak was already sitting on the bioluminescent forest floor when you arrived at the small clearing which was designated as our spot. It was a hidden clearing–away from any of the main trails and hunting and gathering spots that the clan used. You first found the clearing one day after playing a round of hunter and prey with Lo’ak and Spider. 

Flashback

You were both 12 years old. Your hair was cut in a sharp, shoulder-length bob because you claimed long hair only got in the way. A bright orange and yellow ombre feather decorated the underside of your hair. A simple beige-toned weaved top and matching ‘tewng adorned your small body as you ran away from Lo’ak. He loved playing the role of hunter–you assumed it because of the way Lo’ak looked up to his father.  He wanted to be like the Olo’eyktan in every way possible. This was before their relationship had a strain in it. Both you and Lo’ak were unmarred from the harshness of war. The only thought that filled both of your minds was what adventure you would get into next. 

As you giggled profusely and thought of where to run next, you noticed that you were in a different part of the forest that you never visited before. You searched for any familiar landmarks, or plants that would signify where you were. The giggles that previously escaped your mouth quieted down as the situation dawned on you. You were lost in the forest all alone! Your mom was going to kill you, but only if a nantang or palulukun didn’t kill you first. 

“Lo’ak, are you there!!!!!,” you screamed at the top of your lungs. That probably wasn’t the smartest move. A predator could be attracted to your sound. But you figured it would be better to call for Lo’ak. If any predators came, you could climb a tree and wait it out. 

“Lo’ak!!!” you continued. Worry was starting to creep in. If you didn’t find Lo’ak soon, there was no way you would be able to survive the night in the forest. 

As you looked around the clearing again, you noted that it was quite pretty. A small pond, decorated with pink paysyuls, sat in the middle of the forest. The sun streamed through the trees and you could see the fishes elegantly swim in the water. A pack of loreyu sat directly across the pond, along with eanean bushes right next to it. The clearing was simple, but you knew that it was much more than that. Like everything else Eywa created, the clearing served a purpose and was spiritually connected to the Na’vi. Perhaps its purpose was unknown until this moment. You decided that the purpose of the clearing would be a secret spot only known to both you and Lo’ak. The thought excited you, and you quickly imagined a lifetime of moments here.

Flashback Over

Lo’ak sat with his arms extended behind him with his back facing you. You could see the tension in his back muscle as he sat there, looking up towards the night sky. One of Polyphemus’ moons was shaped like an ikran claw. Despite the moon’s brightness in the sky, the stars still twinkled. A soft, minty green glow emitted from the bioluminescent leaves Lo’ak sat upon. His tanhi, patterned perfectly on his body like Ewya directly hand placed each freckle herself, glowed like the sky above him. Lo’ak was lost in his thoughts as he silently spoke to Ewya, questioning what her intention was. You cleared your throat to grab Lo’ak’s attention.

“Hey…” he muttered under his breath. You replied with a soft hello before taking your place next to him. There was still an awkward tension lingering between the two of you, but you pushed it away. Whatever happened a few days ago didn’t matter anymore. You knew something serious happened in the Sully family and you knew your best friend needed you right now. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened this time?” you quoted Lo’ak as you looked into his eyes for the first time in a few days. The dark lighting only enhanced the rich shade of his honey-colored eyes. They glowed brightly in the dark. His eyes resembled the shiny topaz glass jewels located deep in the rainforests’ many caverns–both were a sight to behold. 

Lo’ak thought he should rip the bandage off. There was no point in delaying the traumatic news he just received from his parents. 

“My family and I are leaving the forest.” 

You were confused by his statement. Leaving where? There was no other place to go. The forest was your home, his home. “Do you mean that you’re visiting another tribe for diplomatic reasons,” you asked with a slight tilt in your head to match confusion. Why would this be so important that he needed to meet you at your spot? This wouldn’t be the first time the Sully family has left on diplomatic retreats.

“No, (Y/N). My family and I are leaving the forest permanently,” Lo’ak replied. Your heart dropped into the pits of your stomach. Now you were just getting annoyed. You haven’t spoken to Lo’ak in the days, and the first thing he does is try to pull at your leg. “Lo’ak if this is a joke, then it’s not funny. What are you talking about?” you said with a stern voice. Lo’ak stared at you as if he didn’t want to explain further. It’s true, he didn’t want to explain further because it meant that what was happening was real and there was no way to delay or stop the situation.

“Earlier today, when we were exploring the forest, we saw footprints in the dirt that didn’t belong to any Na’vi. It was sky demons. We followed the footsteps to an abandoned shack. I knew we weren’t supposed to be there, but then we spotted a group of uniltìranyu in military gear. I quickly paged my father and let him know what we found. But as we were trying to leave back to the forest, the uniltìranyu captured us and held us hostage…”

“What?” you let out in shock. The magnitude of Lo’ak’s words hit you like a poisoned arrow. Dreamwalkers? How could that be true? The last dream walker to walk the ground of Pandora was Jake Sully…and that was 14 years ago.

“I-I  thought we were going to die. They treated us like we were animals. As if we were the ones who invaded their planet and deserved to be captured and hung. All I felt was primal fear and the instinctual reaction to protect my family. We were held hostage until my parents and brother came to our rescue. But, it was too late by then. They figured out who were and our relation to my father.  They even captured Spider…” Lo’ak had to stop speaking. The familiar tightening of his throat began. You could tell he was about to cry, but you pushed further. Honestly, your brain was fuzzy at this point. It was so fuzzy to the point that you didn’t even process the news of Spider, your tiny human friend, being captured. It completely slipped your mind. You didn’t have time to think about the implications of this news as you could only process one thing and one thing only: Lo’ak was leaving. The Sullys were leaving!

“What does that have to do with you leaving the forest?”

“Don’t you understand, syulang? They know who we are. Our lives are at risk! The whole clan is at risk if we continue to stay.” Lo’ak explained in frustration. “I don’t want this, I don’t want to leave the only place I’ve ever known. How can I leave the forest while Spider is out there, going through Eywa knows what, with those demons? How can I leave you?” Fat, wet tears streamed down Lo’ak’s face as he spoke. 

Crack. The sound of your heart breaking reverberated in your ears. All you could hear was a dull ringing. Your best friend, the love of your life–how could he just leave like that? You questioned the will of Eywa. How could she be so cruel to tear you both apart? Especially after your confession the other day? You wanted to curse and scream and cry all at once. However, you knew you had to be strong for Lo’ak. 

You held Lo’ak’s body in silence. You were both in a catatonic state. An hour or so had passed since his initial confession. The atmosphere was serene, a heavy contrast from the dark storm brewing in both of your minds. This may be the last time you would ever get to hold Lo’ak like this and fully enjoy his presence. All of the years spent together slowly meshed in your mind as you tried to calm yourself down with memories of happier times. You honestly didn’t know how you could survive this life without your other half. 

Lo’ak wasn’t faring any better than you. His continuous sniffles vibrated on your body. He barely looked up, wanting to savor the feeling of your bodies pressed together in such an intimate way. His mind was in a haze as he processed the situation. This wasn’t real life, it couldn’t be real life. His life was perfectly balanced with you. If Eywa sought to protect the balance of life, why would she take you away from him? Why would she take away Spider? 

Tomorrow is never promised. That is a cruel lesson you learned today. It was probably best that you and Lo’ak head back to the village and sleep, but you didn’t want this night to end. You wanted to savor every last moment. Memorize every stripe on Lo’ak’s body, every green speck in his eyes, the way his eyebrows moved, and how his body felt right next to yours. How could you say goodbye to 14 years of memories in one night? It seemed impossible. 

As you stared at the light reflecting off the pond, you knew there was one topic you had to broach. You weren’t sure if this was the right time, but it was the only chance you had. After all, Lo’ak only had one more day in the clan before his family set off to Eywa knows where. You knew the forest of Pandora held many clans, but you suspected his family would be going somewhere even further than that. You tried to calm the rapid pace of your heart, but your nerves refused to settle down. So, you sent a quick prayer to Ewya, turned to Lo’ak, and quietly said, “The other night, when I said I love you, why didn’t you say it back?”

You didn’t want to fight with Lo’ak–not on a night like this, where blood has been shed and a family has been torn from normalcy. But, you had to talk to Lo’ak about this. What if you never saw him again? You couldn’t live the rest of your life with unresolved feelings. It would drive you utterly insane and wreck your soul for as long as you live. 

(Y/N)...”

“I’m being serious, Lo’ak. Why did not you say it back? I know this is the last thing on your mind right now, but you cannot leave me hanging. You owe me more than that and you know it,” you said with determination in your voice. 

You then stood up. This was not a conversation you could have sitting down. The anxiety coursing through your veins made it impossible to sit still. Lo’ak followed your actions and stood up too. 

“I was afraid,” he replied.

“Afraid of what Lo’ak? We have always been so honest with each other.” You thought you would always understand Lo’ak, but perhaps you were mistaken. You didn’t understand what there was to be afraid of. You both loved each other, shouldn’t that be enough? You failed to realize that love isn’t enough sometimes. There are forces beyond your control that make love unsustainable and out of your reach, despite how close you are to it. Eywa did not teach you this lesson. Lo’ak did. 

Lo’ak was faced with two choices at this moment: he could confess his love to you or he could deny it. He so desperately wished he could choose the first choice. Something within him would not allow himself to whether it was because he was about to leave and he could not promise himself to you, or because he was so far deep in his inner turmoil. Lo’ak felt anger bubbling in his chest. This anger wasn’t directed towards you, but himself. He cursed his inability to allow himself to fully love you because of his internal issues. No, he justified the second choice in his mind with weak reasons as to why he could not confess his love. 

If he said confessed, Lo’ak knew you would spend the rest of your days waiting for his return. If he ever returned. You deserved more than that. You deserved someone who could love you now. The prospect of you waiting for him, only for Lo’ak to stay the same Na’vi he was now, a version of himself that wasn’t proud of, haunted him. Yeah. Lo’ak framed his reasoning to focus on you, rather than himself because it made the harsh reality less painful. Damn the fact he was leaving, he would wait 100 years for you too if he confessed. The reality was Lo’ak could not confess his love because he couldn’t give his all to you, not when his judgment and self-worth were clouded by thoughts so dark that Eywa would be heartbroken to learn one of her children, whom she created with love and adoration, did not love himself. 

Either way, he was about to break your heart for the second time within days. 

“You are the other half of my soul and if there is any person who can understand me, it is you. But, I cannot love you. I’m sorry syulang.” There was a sorrowful look across Lo’ak’s face. Your body deflated at his words and the familiar sting of tears gathered in your eyes. He didn’t want to continue, but if was going to break your heart, you at least deserved a proper explanation.

“You are the most lovely and wonderful woman on this planet; the idea of you not being in my life hurts more than a palulukan attack. But I swear on my life to Eywa when I say this, but it is not you. It’s me. You have always been this positive being in my life, and I always hoped it would rub off on me and make me a better man. I thought, maybe if that ever happened, we could be together in the future. I would finally be worthy of all the love you have to offer. I am not good enough for you. I would only drag you down with the weight of my heavy problems,” Lo’ak finished.

“But it’s not your choice to decide who deserves me,” you let out with an exasperated tone. “How can you stand here in front of me and deny the bond we have? The love we have? The other day when I confessed that I see you and you ignored it, I brushed it off my shoulder because I was sure, with every fiber of my being, that you see me too. That you love me. But now you are leaving, and Eywa knows when the fuck you are coming back, and you can't even admit it out loud?” you questioned. 

“Don’t you get it? I am not doing this because I want to deny the bond we have. I feel our bond every day from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. Even in my dreams, you are there. Your essence is built into the foundation of my bones. I just can’t love you. No good would come of it. I’m the clan’s outcast. Yes, we are best friends and we know each other like the back of our palms. But I won't let you carry the burden of my imperfectness,” Lo’ak choked with a sob at the end. 

Without missing a beat, you tirade, “I think everything you are saying is complete bullshit. How could be absolute about something that has not been realized? We have spent the last 14 years together. I know you better than I know myself, Lo’ak. And I know you see me too, so what are you so afraid of? There is nothing that you could ever do that would scare me away from loving you. I love you for who you are–flaws and all. I notice everything about you, the good and the bad. I know you have feelings so big and nerve-wracking that you do not know how to handle them except by convincing yourself that they are true. But you cannot stand in my face and claim that this is for my own good. No, you are saying all this because you are too scared of the possibility that I might see through all that and decide that you are not worth the trouble, that every judgment the clan and your father says about you is right.”

You stepped a few feet away from Lo’ak and then turned towards the direction of the village. He hadn’t said a word since you finished your speech. Your entire back was facing Lo’ak until you turned your head over your shoulder to look back at him. The tears that pooled in your eyes began to flow like a sad waterfall that was dying, the tears slowly rolling down your stripped cheeks in an antagonizing matter. Your golden eyes stared into Lo’ak’s. He could see the hurt etched across your iris and he was sure his eyes looked just as pathetic and broken. It was a moment that would forever be engrained into Lo’ak’s memory. You opened your mouth and delivered the final blow to this already crestfallen night,

“Maybe I was wrong, maybe you don’t see me. Because if you truly did, you would know that I would not care about your weaknesses. I don’t even care about them now. I refuse to believe that you cannot love me too. You are a lot of things Lo’ak. A coward is not one of them. I’ll see you tomorrow to say goodbye.” 

And at this moment, Lo’ak knew this was the biggest of all his fuck ups. He had managed to ruin a lot of good things and moments. Never knowing when the party is over and when the business began. When it came to you, his sweet tìyawn, Lo’ak never made any serious mistakes. So why was he doing it now? Lo’ak’s eyes burned as he stared at your figure walking away from him and the future you could’ve had together. 

translations: eylan - friend, Olo’eyktan - male clan leader, tstxa'a - canalyd, kelku - home, palulukan - thanator, syulang - flower, loreyu - helocordian, skxawng - moron, Toruk Makto - toruk rider, Palulukun Makto - thanator rider, Tsahik - clan spiritual leader, Nga yawne lu oer - i love you, tsakarem - successor to the tsahik, ‘tewng - loincloth, nantang - viperwolf, paysyuls - water lily, eanean - blue plant, tanhi - bioluminescent freckle, uniltìranyu - dream walker, tìyawn - love

credits for dividers: leafs (x) green line (x)

[absolutebl]

Hi ABL! I was wondering if you have recs for bl couples where a younger seme/top aggressively pursues an older, initially-unwilling uke/bottom?

I realized this trope was my absolute JAM when I fell hard and fast for Wei Zhiyuan x Wei Qian, Sun Boxiang x Lu Zhigang, and Yongjie x Xingsi. Bonus points for age gap, stepbrothers trope or the older uke being endlessly indulgent?

I mainly watch China and Taiwan bls, so I’ll love anything from there. I’ll take recs from other countries too, they might become my first foray into non-mandarin bls

I know this is a somewhat specific request so thank you sm if you manage to come up with anything! I really appreciate all the work you put into this blog ☺️💜

Oooo MY FAVORITE!!!

Hyung Romances! (wrap-up post)

I call these hyung romances because that's like noona romances but gay.

Specifically you said:

younger seme aggressively pursues an older initially-unwilling uke

I am utter TRASH for this! YES PLEASE!

Minato’s Laundromat

Japan 2022 GaGa 

AKA Minato Coin Laundry AKA Wash My Heart! AKA Minato Shouji Koin Randorii AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry

Younger seme older uke, very clearly yaoi derived dynamic, 10 year age gap. I love this show so much. This is by far the best long running example that really dwells on this trope, Shin is very much the aggressor also very much still a high school kid. Minato is very much NOT. 

Old Fashion Cupcake 

Japan 2022 Viki & GaGa 

Also from Japan, another 10 year gap, and a flipping genius version. This time both parties are older, so there’s less of a stigma around the age gap, but there is stigma about the one being the other’s boss. 

This show had me from the moment they broke the egg yolk with the chopsticks in the opening credits for episode one. It’s about a younger man with a long cherished crush on his boss (ten years older and going through a mid life crisis) who decides to save and seduce said man with pancakes. It’s wholesome, comforting, sexy, and a very necessary narrative about still having hope, interests, and openness to affection at any age. It’s coming of age/queerness packaged in a subtle critique of expectations around masculinity and love and loneliness... and it’s beautiful. Full review. 

Lovely Writer

Thailand 2021 YouTube 

Sib is quite a bit younger than Gene and defines aggressive pursuer. Gene is out of university and established in his career, Sib is still in college.

Thailand criticizes itself and the BL industry while simultaneously giving us classic seme/uke with great chemistry in a one-two punch of “we love it, but are we supposed to? and must we think this hard, yet enjoy it SO MUCH?” This show won’t appeal or make sense to those who don’t already have at least some Thai BL watching experience. What Lovely Writer does, at heart, is reexamine Thai BL has done to queerness, but in a very gentle way that has more to do with Thai BL growing up than any actual queer authenticity. It’s not parody or pastiche, but it is self reflective and trying to correct for some chronic mistakes. Whether it is ultimately successful in this matter is going to depend on the watcher’s relationship to BL and queer identity. But that’s what makes this show beautiful, interesting, and thought provoking. And I, for one, applaud the effort even if I didn’t personally connect to the characters.

Oxygen

Thailand 2020 YouTube 

Thailand’s first real stab at this dynamic as a main couple and it so worked for me. There are many who find this BL too slow and wooden, but I loved it. 

I think of this as a paragon of Thailand’s softer BL style, since Oxygen uses every BL trope in the playbook for one of the gentlest lowest angst BLs ever made. This one showcases how far Thailand is moving BL from its yaoi roots, and is a prime example of the sweet “new BL” model for which Thailand is the main advocate (Korea is liking it a lot these days too, tho). My first watch along. 

SOTUS

Thailand 2016 YouTube 

Guess who started this trope in Thailand? Yeah, sometimes I forget too. But they are not just classic sunshine/tsunder but classic younger/older. Just not by much.

This is the BL that launched a hundred BLs. No literally, it was SOTUS’s international success that pretty much built the Thai BL industry into the juggernaut it is today. People have baggage around SOTUS, I have nostalgia. Trigger warning on bully hazing. Review here. 

En of Love: Tossera 

Thailand 2020 YouTube 

Younger boy wants to court older boy and does and… that’s it. No really that’s the WHOLE STORY. There is actually no angst, drama, or, indeed plot. But are they the softest bois ever to BL as a main couple? Yes they are.

*pulp warning*

Private Lessons

Korea 2020 GaGa 

A BL short from Strongberry that I love, it's age gap and teacher/student (catnip por moi). The chemistry is slightly off though, but stil I do love this one for the dynamic. Certainly worth watching especially if this is your trope since it's like 8 minutes long and very stylish.

MingKit MarkKit

2 Moons (VERY side dish) YouTube 2 Moons 2 YouTube (major side dish) Gen Y (leads) Gen Y 2 (sides again in LTR) 

Thailand’s premier version of this dynamic I just lumped them all into one category. Only in 2 Moons 2 are they played by different actors, otherwise it is all KimCop, and who can complain about that? If you want to watch specifically for this dynamic than go for Gen Y. Trash watch here. 

SIDE DISH CORNER

Not Me (DanYok)

DanYok is an age gap, but it isn’t really the point or the plot of their romantic arc

Don’t Say No (LeonPob) 

Leon and Pob qualify. That’s all I have to say about that. 

HIStory 3: the BL that shall not be named (BoXiang & ZhiGang)

Also appear in HIStory 4: Close to You

The side characters in H3:MODC (and cameos in H4) BoXiang & ZhiGang have a huge age gap, 12 years, and it is a big deal for their relationship. When they start out BoXiang is a desperate himbo high school kid and ZhiGang is a small business owner. BoXiang’s friends tease him more for his lust over such a much older man than for being gay. 

Bonus on this one, there is some very high (and it's Taiwan so) very well done heat. That said, the main couple will, in fact, wreck your psyche for life. Proceed with caution.

THE THAI PULPS

You’re My Sky (SanAei)

Side could (and only good part of this show) SanAei are a classic uni age gap pairing. San is a bit of a spoiled rich kid jock who identifies the older nerd character as HIS and is just like, MINE. That’s MY elder gay. 

Brothers (KhunKaow) 

This is not a good show, but side couple Khun & Kaow are great in it. Khun is in university and Kaow has a small baking business.

Top Secret Together and Love By Chance both have sub plots of high school boys pursuing college ones, but the one didn’t go anywhere and the other went very very bad, so yeah… no. Although I would personally LOVE to see this done well. 

BONUS POINTS ROUND

Stepbrothers trope

HIStory 4: Close to You (sides)

YongJie is quite a bit younger than XingSi, not sure on the specifics but he’s in middle school when XingSi is in high school and still in college when XingSi has his own business.

Addicted has the stepbrothers trope but not the age gap.

Older uke being endlessly indulgent

Future

Thailand 2023 YouTube 

Based on a y-novel by Faddest (En of Love) about an engineering student and a dentist (shocker). This is just a soft sweet cotton candy fluff piece about a younger boy who pursues an older boy and then manufactures silly gay drama. Nothing wrong with that. But I don’t think this style of BL really appeals to a very large market share. Will I rewatch it? Sure. Will anyone else? Nope.

If you want your endlessly indulgent older gay, this is the you crack, they made if for you.

*pulp warning*

Manner of Death

Thailand 2021 WeTV

It’s not really relevant to the story, but Tan is younger. Not only that, he’s Bun’s friends younger brother. Bun is very indulgent, but in a grown up way.

I like MoD a lot but I’m conflicted over it being actual BL. It’s a great gay romantic suspense, although the mystery element is its weakness. MaxTul, the Kings of chemistry, are, of course, perfect and perfectly cast, but their romance thread is more a distraction than an addition. Still, I could watch them make-out the phonebook. Watch along here. 

Seven Days

Japan 2015 grey 

AKA Seven Days: Monday-Thursday AND Seven Days: Friday-Sunday Japan

Seryou kinda counts as the pursuer, but the dynamic is very very weak in this one. Still the way he asks to use Yuzuru’s first name (so CHEEKY) and the way he says “senpai” in SUCH a cute way makes me so happy. And Yuzuru is NOTHING is not indulgent, it kinda defines his character. I mean he just LETS him call him by his FIRST name... right away.

Never doubt my ability to recommend this show. One of the best live action yaois ever made, with perfectly structured angst, fantastic characters and acting, and no problematic tropes (rare in Japanese BL). The leads have excellent chemistry although it’s low heat there’s still some really cute mutual kisses. 

Just Taiwan

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line

2018 Viki 

Seme uke is VERY weak with this one but the younger character is certainly the pursuer. It’s SO GOOD. 

Lin Pei Yu directs this is a sports romance (volleyball) with a good boy/bad boy pairing, and mu favorite of the HIStory franchise. There is no clear seme/uke. Ostensibly it's high school set but Taiwan doesn't care about age appropriate actors. It's a very soft sweet romance with some ridiculously easily overcome conflict. There's great kisses but it's medium heat. The side dishes are the stepbrother trope but they’re very tame, and there’s no other triggers. It's not just my favorite of the franchise, it’s one of my favorite BLs with a perfect happy ending.

Kiseki: Dear to Me

2023 Gaga

The mains are a major age gap, but I always forget because they def don't look it. Also, Taiwan, so very weak seme/uke. Still there is age gap, he's in high school and our gangster is out of college and in the workplace.

The plot is totally ridiculous and slightly unhinged, but that’s normal for Taiwan. It involves all the tropes under a very casual framework of gay mafia gangs + food = love. Absolutely every character is queer. There’s a gum-ball machine of cameos, elder gay rep, great chemistry from all pairs, and a KILLER side couple. As a result Kiseki is a poster child for Taiwanese BL, and I happen to love Taiwanese BL. Bonus? They also managed to END IT WELL, which we cannot expect from Taiwan.

(Triggers for knife play, child abuse, lingering trauma.)

Unknown

2024 YouTube

Unknown is a wonderful BL with a pitch perfect portrayal of long term pining, age gap, and the stepbrothers trope. The acting and chemistry are ON POINT (especially from the leads) which made the resulting characters very believable. When it dwells in intimate family drama, it's stunning. It's slightly less successful when it leaves the home and goes gritty. Still, those are mere quibbles. This is an excellent show, one of Taiwan' s best.

As you see above I mostly had to take you to Japan and Thailand for this one. Considering your preferences try Japan first, it's closer in DNA to Taiwanese stuff, but it won't go as high heat. If you want the heat, you'll need to try the Thai stuff (or the ones from Taiwan you haven't seen). I would start with Lovely Writer.

Okay I think I have given you enough and, unless I miss my guess, I may have tempted you to try some Japanese BL.

Comes to the weirder (and weird hair) side. We have pancakes.

Yeah I think you should watch Old Fashion Cupcake.

EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH OLD FASHION CUPCAKE!!!

(source)

This post dated May 2024, not responsible for hyungs that sling after that date.

[ezgee-badally]

“Break Me Please”

A softer story to cleanse my palate a bit. This started as a short post but I am a writer so it turned into this lol.

18+ Trigger Warning: Light Homophobic language

Original Post: I Need some overzealous politically active uppity dyke in my town to discover my small but growing kink blog and try to blackmail me….

She and I have been fighting over the right way to respond to hate speech at pride events. I wanted to get the input of the community first, organize counter protesters and arrange for security and safe rides home. You wanted to act right away. Go get some people together and slash their tires and graffiti their homes. You’re mad at me after a debate between the two of us got particularly vicious. You search and dig for anything you can use to get me to back down, and you hit the Jackpot.

While rubbing yourself and going through your sapphic porn blogs before bed one night you go to block some dykebreaking blog that ended up in your feed. But the writing looks so familiar. You read a few more of my posts and start to DM me. After a few days you offer “Talking to you has been really fucking hot, if you tell me your name I’ll record myself screaming it out while I cum.”

I give you a fake name.

You start to lose it. “Cut the shit I know who you Fucking are I have your number in my phone.”

“Then text me.” I say.

You prove who you are and that you know who I am. I refuse to talk about it anymore through DM. You invite me to your place to discuss terms.

“Shut it down and quit volunteering. If I hear you’re trying to break any dykes ever again I’ll expose you for the pig you are.” She says as I scan the area. Nice house, if a little messy.

“No.” I say, and I stand up. “In fact I think I know why you didn’t just tell everyone in the first place whore.”

You instinctively back up a pace. “What are you talking about?”

You pull out your phone. You prepare a quick email and show your thumb hovering over the button. “Touch me and I’ll hit send.”

I walk towards you slowly, I grab your wrists and push you against the wall, your phone drops from your hand and clatters to the ground. I stare deeply into your eyes for a long moment before kissing you deeply and passionately. You kiss back surprising me. And we have a long, near-violent make out session. When I pull away to bite and kiss your neck I can hear the mixture of animal lust and self loathing in the soft involuntary moans between breaths. I can feel your body cede control to me and you stop resisting me pinning you to the wall. I release one of your hands from my grip and go to gently fondle your breasts, then move to start tracing my fingers around your areolae before pinching and tweaking your nipple with my finger. “Fuck you have nice tits dyke.” I say in a breathy whisper.

You push me away and slap me, it’s like you came out of a trance. “Fucking pig, get away from me. I like girls, you can’t turn me.”

I look you up and down with an animal lust in my eyes. “Then stop me. Say no, do something about it.” And I kiss you again, you can’t help but think about how my rough thick tongue would feel against your clit… you pull away and spit in my face resisting your own primal urges. “Pig, I’ll never let you fuck me.”

I wipe the spit from my face, and I shove my hand down your pants with one hand. You move to stop me but it’s too late, I’m already prodding and exploring your already wet little pussy with my finger. You gasp as I do and squirm a little in embarrassment. “You like being choked whore?” I whisper as I nibble your earlobe. You moan gently and nod affirmatively. I wrap my free hand around your throat. You grab my wrist but you don’t pull away you push my hand harder against your throat. “I don’t want to turn you. I want to break you, I want you to know for a fact your gay when I finally break you on my hot pulsing misogynist dykebreaking cock.” As I plunge a second finger inside you, pushing and wriggling and exploring. After savouring your each and every moan and movement, I use my finger to search for your swollen clit and gently prod it. Your leg twitches involuntarily as I do.

“It’s been a while hasn’t it. It’s been long enough it doesn’t even matter what you want, your body is telling you what you want.”

Your heart is thumping, your body hot with shame and desire. Your breathing is heavy as I continue running my finger around your clit, you start to feel something stirring inside you. My pace changes and I start to find a steady rhythm. The muscles in your back twitch and you let out a loud “Fuuuuuck yessss, keep going.”

I struggle to maintain my position as your body writhes in pleasure. “Dont. Stop.” You whisper as you prepare yourself. And I stop. I pull my fingers from you and remove my hand from your throat. You are practically vibrating with built up tension and you collapse, but the lack of release causes something to bubble up inside you….

“What the fuck?” You say, still breathing heavily. Frustrated. Unzip my pants and pull out my hot, stiff and throbbing. You look at it almost mesmerized. “Dykes only get to cum after I’m done with them.” As I let my cock fall on your face with a satisfying *slap*.

“I don’t suck cock.” You say looking at me defiantly.

I get on the floor with you, then I put my hand down your pants again and start fingering you furiously. “Does the good little dyke want to cum?” You gasp and try to contain yourself, but after mere moments you find yourself saying “Please let me cum.” Then I pull out of you and say “Then suck cock like a good little lesbian.”

You hesitate as I press the tip of my cock against your pretty lips. I grab your short hair as I push my cock slowly into your mouth you begin bobbing your head as I make demands. “Watch your fuckin teeth.”

“Deeper” “Faster” “Use your tongue.” In frustration I grab the back of your head and start fucking your face for a short period. I grunt and moan in pleasure as I do. You tolerate it briefly before pulling away, coughing and choking on spit and pre-cum.

“God you’re shit at sucking cock. I was gonna let you get away without taking away your gold star… but it looks like I’m gonna have to break you in after all.”

I roll you onto your back and pull off your pants. Kissing your body and neck, drawing my tongue down your torso and along your hip bones. I move back up and give you one more passionate sensual kiss as I position the head of my thick cock at the entrance to your pussy. As I start to push inside inch by inch, you start to gasp and moan and writhe in a mixture of pleasure and light pain as my cock stretches you. I accidentally go too deep and hit your cervix, you wince in pain. I start to slowly pump myself in and out, careful not to go too deep. As I do you feel this ache inside you. “Ah! Faster” you moan. I pick up the pace and start angling myself to find the perfect position. You start to buck your hips and eventually match the rhythm of my thrusts. Moaning like a beast in heat, I lick my finger and begin searching for your clit. I prod draw my finger around it for a moment and enjoy your now loud ravenous moaning before remembering the correct motion. As I find it, I hear a brief “Ah! Fuck”.

I whisper in your ear as you start to build up to an orgasm once more. “Are you gonna be a good dyke and cum on my cock?” A flash of defiance hits your face before I thrust into you again and you give in. “Yes, make me cum on your dykebreaking cock please!” Instead of stopping I continue, I wrap my free hand around your throat again while trying to maintain my position through your body’s spasms of ecstasy. “Fuckyes Fuckyes Fuuuuuuuuuck.”

And I feel it start to hit you. My cock thrust into you as my finger rubs your clit and your body explodes with violent waves of pleasure. Your eyes roll back into your head and you relax and let wave after wave hit you. As I release my grip on your neck and the blood rushes back to your brain you briefly black out.

When you come to, you’re on the couch with a blanket over you. I’m making tea in your kitchen. I bring a cup over to you and I ask “So, still going to expose me?”

You look up at me as if seeing me for the first time all over again. “No. Thank you, I needed that. I think… I think I’m starting to understand now.”

We still argue and fight all the time of course, but now you just take all that pent up frustration and let me fuck it out of you. Nothing has changed really, except now the butchest dyke in town is nothing but a whore for my cock.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

hey! i’m the relationship anon from some time earlier and this time i’m here with a request, i hope you don’t mind :)

first of all your writing is absolutely the best and you’re super talented!! i found your blog earlier than i first sent you a message and i must say reading your snippets always brings me emotions- i absolutely love you (as a writer and you seem a great person)!

now for the request itself i guess :) may i please read something soft? not anything new/unusual in my request but anyway, maybe with either the hero or the villain being touch starved and the other finding it out, and then some teasing and overall kinda fluff? please- :)

thanks in advance and no problem at all if you don’t wanna do it!

“Your hands are so soft,” the villain mumbled. They got on top of the hero and buried their face in their neck. It was astounding that someone so tall and muscular could also be so tender. Everything about the villain screamed intimidating and yet, they always melted in the hero’s arms.

Out of reflex, the hero’s hands slipped under the villain’s shirt and drew slow shapes into the skin of their lover’s back. The hero chuckled lightheartedly. “Someone’s a bit touchy today, hm?”

As a reply, the villain hummed contently, their voice vibrating lovingly on the hero’s chest. The hero often remembered a time in which they had felt like they were the loneliest person on earth. For years, the hero had thought themselves to be unlovable, unworthy of any kind of affection. Waking up alone, eating alone, going to bed alone — it was painful.

Sometimes, they still felt this everlasting dread on them. They were breathing it in like thick fog, consuming it and without a warning they got hurled back into that time.

That only happened when the villain wasn’t around.

“Sweetheart, you stayed out of trouble this week, yes?” the hero whispered, taking the villain’s jaw in their hand to make them look at them.

“Uhm—” The hero could see their blush crawling down their body, disappearing under their shirt. “I actually did. I didn’t notice but I did.”

“I’m proud of you.” The villain averted their gaze.

“Seducing me to the good side, huh?” they mumbled. It was adorable how they played with the seam of the hero’s shirt nervously, their eyes darting in the air.

“Well, it looks good on you. Helping people, making someone else smile. I watched you play with the kids you saved the other day. You let them play with your cape,” the hero said. Sometimes, the villain went too far when they were fighting. Old habits are hard to kill. But the hero was working on that with them.

“They were asking for it. Couldn’t really say no when their parents stood right next to me,” the villain answered. It was a rather hilarious excuse.

“You could’ve said you were busy.”

“I…” Defeated, the villain buried their face in the hero’s chest again while their lover scratched their scalp carefully, running fingers through their hair with a warm precision.

“Is it that bad?” the hero asked, smiling.

“No…” the villain admitted. “It feels good to be loved. I always thought violence is all I am capable of. But maybe there’s something else.”

They pressed their face deeper into the hero’s clothes. If that was even possible.

“I think so too. You’re a good person.”

“Wish I could be like you, though. You’re so selfless it makes me want to vomit,” the villain mumbled into their shirt.

Laughing at the attempted disgust in the villain’s voice — which failed graciously — the hero lifted their lover’s face again. Without hesitation, they touched the villain’s cheeks. Palms gliding over skin. It made their villain close their eyes, muscles relaxing, breath slowing.

“I used to be very selfish. Very hot-headed and I learnt my lesson more than once. Learning compassion can be very hard when you didn’t grow up with it. You know how it is. Sickness comes from sickness. Feeds on it.”

The hero looked at their lover who seemed quite unsure now, staring at them with big eyes.

“What I’m saying is, it’s not your fault. You’re starting fresh. You can’t control the past. No need to dwell on it.”

When their villain nodded, the hint of a sleepy smile on their face, the hero wished they could live for eternity in this moment.

But when they thought about it again, they knew they could die happily tomorrow, having seen this.

[wri0thesley]

Hello! It's up to you or not to post this, but here are some bsd x reader blogs that I recommend, but please read their rules/Dni before following/interacting. Some rarely post bsd content as they are interested in something else, inactive/assumed hiatus, and/or completely stopped writing for the series. Some include yandere, others don't, so proceed with caution last anon:

dear-yandere

spacexseven

amusedyan

snailsgoingdowntown

shumidehiro

after-witch

yandere-sins

honeydazai

bandaged-writer

yandere-daydreams

yandere-romanticaa

Also, while I'm here, I just really wanna say I love your writing. Especially the sampo x naive(?) Reader! It's totally something he would do, but at the same time I feel like he's the type to fall harder - for example, when the reader was very obvious with her crush, it kinda felt like he was genuinely happy about it, not just for the sake of getting her virginity by 'acting.'

It's the vibe I got throughout the fic. Sampo was very cunning in it, using the reader's personality 'against' her in both a twisted yet 'loving' way. I also like how he decided to stay with her after the deed, but part of me feels like he's forcing himself to think about the sex even though it feels/looks like a genuine connection is there.

It's 2am where I'm at so I apologize if nothing made sense, or if that wasn't the theme you were going for. Good night and thank you for your content!!

thank you very very much anon! i am posting this for that anon and also for me if i ever get around to watching/reading bsd. important information i need: in the sanrio collab, is the guy they put with purin a Good Guy. has purin gotten what he deserves??? important. whether purin is being respected may sway my decision

and oh, no, i absolutely intended for sampo to feel like he was in control partly as a way of not showing just how charmed he was by cute naive reader!! he is so so used to being used himself, or acting as someone else to charm . . . the fact that reader seemed interested in him and genuinely liked him even when those flashes of his real personality came through really flusters him a bit! i do think, partly, that manipulative yanderes who do it because they do like you so much are the scariest of all - those who do it for fun usually know when to call it quits, but a yandere who's genuinely into you won't take no for an answer....

[wheels-of-despair]

Hands to Yourself Pairing: Michael (Hoard) x You Summary: Michael can't keep his hands to himself... so you're gonna teach him how, whether he likes it or not. Contains: Domme reader who is well above the age of consent, Michael being handsy and annoying, bondage, teasing, begging, kink-related threats, learning lessons the hard way. Words: 1.3k Youths and ageless blogs, DNI. Writer will block your ass.

"Fuck off, I've gotta get to work."

You're at the bathroom mirror, trying to finish your make-up so you can hit the road. But large hands knead at your breasts from behind, and a warm mouth attaches itself to the side of your neck. You don't have time for distractions today.

You put down your compact and smack one of his hands. He's made you forget the next step in your morning routine. He kneads harder and nips at your neck in retaliation.

"Get off, I've gotta go."

"Get me off, and I'll let you go."

You laugh. That's not how this works.

"You had your chance, hot shot, and you blew it. Now quit pawing at me, I've got shit to do."

"S'not fair," he whines, somehow finding your nipples through a shirt and a padded bra.

"Then I guess you should've stopped drinking last night before the whiskey dick set in, huh?"

"Shut up," he mumbles into your neck, pressing you against edge of the sink and rocking his hips into you so you can feel his erection.

"Excuse me?"

His big brown eyes finally meet yours in the mirror. Even through the lust clouding them, you can see that your tone has scared him. He's stopped moving. Good.

You spin around. He drops his hands and looks sheepish.

"Tell you what, pretty boy," he perks up at this. You hold his chin between your thumb and forefinger and make him look at you. "When I get home tonight, I'll think about giving you what you want." His eyes light up. "After I teach you a lesson about keeping your hands to yourself." He bites his lip.

You lurch forward for a quick kiss while his brain swirls, then side-step him and continue getting ready for work.

"Please," he begs later that night. "Please stop torturing me."

"Aw, poor baby," you laugh. "I haven't even started torturing you yet."

He flails the best he can, for being tied spread-eagled to the bed. You haven't even touched him since you put the cock ring on. You're sitting between his spread legs, fully clothed, watching him squirm under your gaze. He looks positively miserable.

You were 3 minutes late for work this morning, and had to put on mascara in the car. He earned it.

"Please," he whines again.

"Please what?"

"Please just fucking touch me!"

"Is that how we ask for things? That didn't sound very polite."

He throw his head back and groans, and you try not to let your face show how much you're loving this.

"Please, will you touch me?"

"Touch you where?"

He huffs out an angry breath.

"Please, will you touch my cock?"

"Must you be so vulgar in my presence? I am a lady, you know."

He lifts his head and slams it back against the pillow, letting out an agonized groan. You laugh at him, and decide you're ready to play. You slowly crawl over him, careful not to touch his throbbing cock, and kiss a light trail up his stomach. He squirms, but knows better than to try to rut up into you.

"You know your little distraction made me late this morning?" you ask, before giving his nipple a gentle tug with your teeth. He hisses.

"M'sorry."

"Really? Doesn't sound like it." You roll his nipple between your teeth, and he quivers.

"I'm gonna…"

"No, you're not." You sit back up on your knees and watch him leak.

"Baby, please."

"Don't you 'baby, please' me. What did I say I was gonna do to you tonight?"

"Teach me a lesson," he hisses through clenched teeth.

"About what?"

"Keeping my hands to myself."

"That's right. I guess I should probably lead by example. I'll be keeping my hands to myself tonight, too."

He thrusts his rigid cock into nothing in another pathetic flail.

When he stops moving, you stand and slowly strip to your underwear. He gives you his full attention as you unhook your bra and let it fall to the floor.

Clad in nothing but panties, you crawl between his spread legs again. Sitting on your knees, you cover your tits with your hands and knead like he had earlier that morning.

He whines.

"What's the matter?" you ask patronizingly, not stopping your movements.

He glares at you and jerks at his restraints.

"Careful, or you'll bruise."

"I need you."

"I need you to behave."

"I ammm," he whines, drawing the word out.

"Whining is not behaving, Michael."

You place your palms on the mattress on either side of his hips and lean over him. He could rut up into you and make contact right now, and probably cum instantly. But he knows better.

You crawl up him slowly, letting your heavy breasts graze his glistening skin occasionally. When you look down into his eyes, his desperation nearly breaks your resolve.

And then he lifts his head and takes your nipple in his mouth. You let him suck hungrily for a moment before pulling away and looking down at him in disappointment.

"Did I say you could do that?"

His bottom lip juts out in a pout.

"And you were so close to getting what you wanted," you say regretfully, lifting yourself off him. He wasn't, but he didn't need to know that.

"Nooo," he whines, trying to reach for you even though he's still tied.

The phone rings, providing a perfect excuse to let him stew a little longer. You walk toward the door, then turn back to him. "Don't go anywhere," you wink.

You can hear the bed creaking from his angry flailing as you go to answer it with a grin.

It's a telemarketer, but you decide to make him wait anyway.

When you return, he's nearly in tears. You'd planned on taking your time with him tonight and making him suffer, but you're starting to feel the need for release too. Might as well.

"Alright," you sigh. "You're just so pathetic, I can't stand watching you beg anymore."

His eyes sparkle, thinking you're finally going to get him off. It's like he doesn't know you at all.

You untie one of his hands, then make yourself comfortable in a chair beside the bed.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"What was today's lesson?"

His brow furrows as he thinks about it. "Keeping my hands to myself?"

"Good boy. Go on, then."

"I can…?"

"Go on."

He reaches down hesitantly, eyes on you, like it's a trick. He pauses when his hand gets close, still unsure. You glance at the clock.

"You have two minutes."

His fist closes around his aching member and begins pumping as though his life depends on it. You know he won't need a full two minutes, so you tease him while you can.

"Does that feel good?"

He grunts.

"Don't you wish that was my hand? Or my mouth? Or my warm, wet cunt? Too bad you fucked up and made me late this morning, huh?"

His breath grows more ragged. Sweat beads on his forehead.

"Clock's ticking. Do you want to know what's gonna happen if you don't finish in time?"

He whines. You lean forward, purposely pressing your tits together with your arms. He stares at them and licks his lips as he jerks away.

"I'm gonna tie your hand back up," you purr, "and you're gonna lay there all night like a worthless little whore. Hard and alone. Nobody to touch you, or listen to you beg, or…"

His body tenses, and he sprays the sheets that he'll be changing as soon as you untie him.

You sit back and watch him come down with a smirk on your face. You wonder if you should tie his hand back up before you slide your panties off and take care of yourself. Maybe you'd stuff them in his mouth to drown out his whining. Or perhaps, if he asked nicely, you'd leave his hand free and let him get off again while he watched you.

For this, you've got all the time in the world.

[hanzajesthanza]

really cool asks i received from @electricbluenb literal months ago, but never got around to publishing :P! but i still want to post this because this is quite interesting:

electricbluenb asked:

Hi! I'm here to report on a lecture I've listened to about Witcher!!!!

Exposition: the lecturer (she) is a philologist, specifically a researcher of fantasy as a transmedia phenomenon; the lecture is titled: 'Witcher Universe. Books, games, series', and from the short description in the announcements I imagined I wouldn't hear much new, or positive takes about TWN (derogatory), and I was interested to listen to it. It was only 90 minutes, so obviously it wasn't super deep in material.

The lecturer did show up in a t-shirt with a print of TW3 Geralt holding a kitten on it, and a games-style Wolf School medallion. For context this is a free library event in Moscow, held in Russian. I am writing this on the same night, so please excuse possible mistakes and I'll try to elaborate if needed.

Overall, I have to say that I haven't heard much that I can't find on your blog. That is only to say that the woman knows her stuff, and that she'd probably be delighted to hear about yours.

Summary of points:

Transmedia (media in different mediums which seeks to build upon each other, unlike adaptation, which only reframes source in a different medium, by her definition) often begins, like fanfiction, in places where source material is incomplete (like how many lotr fanfics focus on Silmarillion). It is crucial for both adaptations and transmedia to be made with love for source material, which TWN showrunners clearly lack.

Historical context and its empirical feel ("liquidity" of reality in the presence of great political and social change, end-of-the-world forefeeling) of the time when Sapkowski created earlier novellas is crucial to interpreting and adapting them. That feel of the setting, and also self-irony and subvertiveness of the text are what both The Hexer and TWN do not translate to the viewer.

Regarding games, she mostly calls them transmedia (not adaptation). She argues that writers of the games recreated that "liquid", end-of-the-world timespace better (not necessarily accurate to lore) than The Hexer or TWN, and more importantly excelled at culture-coding the setting as polish, making it attractive to other slav people as well.

She said with her whole chest that TWN production, and Lauren Hissrich specifically, is just not putting any fucking effort into looking at source material, slapping diversity on what they don't understand to already have themes of otherness and conflict (The Greater Evil is the only example I have in my written notes for books, but she also pointed at games' presenting Geralt as non-human and how it is involved in quests).

In that same vein, she said there's just no romantic relationship between Geralt and Yennefer in TWN, which in books is relying on Eros and Thanatos, and weirdly that drive, finding no exit, is instead can be seen when comparing Renfri fight and stryga fight (she put up screenshots side by side), Geralt only loving the monstrous, and intimacy being deadly (in stryga fight the 'disenchanting kiss' bite). In the games she pointed at the cinematic trailer for Blood and Wine (fight with Orianna / Lullaby of Woe), and went over how it's basically also Eros/Thanatos imagery.

Continuing on Yennefer, she said that it is just laughable to call the character TWN portrays 'Yennefer', because 'inner logic of the character says otherwise', because there's no Yen & Ciri mother-daughter relationship, and the character seems to be 'more like Ciri's either older or younger sister who is afraid of her'.

She touched upon game / series / books interconnectivity (two swords on Geralt's back in Season of Storms versus one in pentalogy, TWN changing Nilfgaardian armour for s3, CDPR adding TWN's Nilfgaardian armor as an option on iirc ps5 edition) and just that it's interesting to her as a researcher that there exist points of clear medium interactions that are expressions of interest and love for the creation, even if the creation is flawed.

She argued that an english translation (the one that she read, obviously there might be different ones) has less visible irony across both text and subtext, in part, possibly, due to censure. I kinda doubt her expertise on english lit as she does seem more focused on Russian lit and translations to Russian, but basically she argues it might be another ground where TWN is just out of depth.

In the Q&A portion I mentioned Redanian Intelligence's article about 'western audiences' and she completely agreed it is just an excuse for what is a skill issue on showrunner's part.

That's all for my report. Hope it leaves you feeling affirmed, knowing that somewhere there are scholars who agree, almost to the letter, completely. :)

electricbluenb asked:

Oops, missed some notes.

As a true researcher, she held a poll on books vs. TWN.

Of about ~25 people in the audience:

22 read the books, 22 liked the books

24 watched S1, 0 loved S1 (aside feelings for actors), 2 people were meh on S1

20 watched S2, again 0 for loving S2

7 watched S3, another 7 considered watching S3, and again 0 for loving S3.

She was prepared to talk more about Ciri, Falka, and Regis, but time was very short.

---

i was really elated to hear about this, the term transmedia is fascinating and i feel like this applies to the witcher phenomenon really well. the term "adaptation" doesn't suit the games, which take the books as a starting point. the topic of interconnectivity between the various mediums is also great, certainly true as every witcher media begins to reflect one another as they're created. one topic i'm interested here is where did geralt's facial scar originally come from, as there is some art of it which predates the creation of the games.

"the setting, and also self-irony and subvertiveness of the text" is definitely what i find missing in netflix as well. i believe the continent, at least in the pentalogy, is way more fleshed out than people think, and the setting really really begins to define the story during the saga, so much so that it becomes as important as the characters themselves. the irony and subversion the text uses are truly hallmarks of the witcher, as well as intertextuality with other fantasy works.

to this list, i would also add comedy :D though twn tries to be funny sometimes it seems to be in an entirely different context and different angle. i was thinking yesterday about how some of the comic characters present in the short stories: dandelion, torque, tellico, freixenet, really had their comedic presence entirely changed or removed from netflix's version. and i thought about the barbegazi and knocker from tower of the swallow, these guys are so funny and endearing, if strange and odd. i think something that netflix does which really, really clashes with the books, is that they treat every monster like a serious threat or at the very least dull them down. in the books, i'd wager that at least half of the 'monsters' present are actually used for comedic effect as well as dramatic effect. now, it's not separate, plenty of characters are both. but netflix seems to only focus on monsters as dangerous, whereas in the books they can actually be quite funny. i think this use of comedy presents a world that is "comfortable" being a fantasy world, that has really incorporated its fantasy elements in a realistic way, so that it's not just there for drama, but has integrated itself into every part of life.

i adore the comparison of geralt and yennefer's relationship with that of the fight with adda, vereena, or renfri. this is something i've been thinking about for a while. exactly, yennefer in the last wish is the antagonist of the story - a powerful, magical woman, literally, a witch. in this sense, yennefer is not unlike the other dangerous opponents geralt faces. in many myths and stories, the hero faces, challenges, defeats an evil witch, sorceress, female user of magic who aims to seduce, deceive the hero. this is the trope we're working with.

the kicker is that yennefer's character gets developed past this, as she begins to be intimately explored - even beyond geralt's lens - and within their context, we see their relationship transform from antagonistic to romantic to fates intertwined. but their chemistry and energy begins with that inherent match in energy, their yin and yang, light and dark, witch and witcher. that (literally) electric sense, that yennefer is never going to be 'defeated' by geralt, that she remains independent even while by his (and ciri's) side.

overall i really enjoyed this report, and respect this lecturer a lot! again, sorry i took so long to publish this as it's been a strange past few months, but better late than never :')

[ilikespicyramen]

"I'm cold, could you cuddle me?"

This is based off my last post please read it for context https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/doumashusband/693548714498883584?source=share thanks! This will include - Fluff, Cuddles, a touch starved Zhongli, Zhongli is still part dragon in this au, gender neutral y/n, Zhongli is your husband just really wholesome stuff (warning this is rushed, my first official fanfic + I'm not a good writer or english speaker)

You had just came home from work on a cold winter night to you see your Husband (Zhongli) on the couch covered in a blanket "Welcome back, y/n I missed you!" he said with a gentle smile on his face "could you sit with me?" you nod and sit next to him "how have you been? was work okay?" you two than got lost in conversation asking each other how work is been, what you'll eat for dinner ect.. he subconsciously starts holding your hands "your hands are so warm..." he looks relieved he snaps out of it and starts apologizing "Ah, I am sorry, I've just been quite cold & lonely since you left for work today." you tell him it's okay to ask for cuddles and that you don't mind and to that he replies with "No no I shouldn't be of burden towards you please, don't worry about me" but you could tell deep down behind his eyes he wanted the cuddles "You're shivering, please let me help you I know you want to cuddle and I do too." he sighs and chuckles "You've caught me..I'm cold, could you cuddle me?" he says. you invite him to snuggle with you as you welcome him with open arms, he then snuggles his face in your neck and you wrap your arms around him and pull the blanket over him "This is so much better..I'm afraid to admit it but I was starved of your touch while you where gone." he says, "Oh, Zhongli you should've told me earlier you wanted cuddles." you jokingly scolded him, he chuckles "Sorry!" you play with his hair while holding his hand , from what was cold as ice became as warm as your love for each other "I love you, y/n." he says before you both fall asleep safe in each others embrace

[mwahkazu]

hi mae! i used to write quite a bit, but i stopped after a while due to burnout but here i am again lmao

anyways, if you're okay with it, could you give some writing tips/how you do your writing process? dw if you don't want to or just can't explain it! :D

hi anon! oof…you’re experience actually brought back some flashbacks for me LMAO i went through the exact same thing a couple years back! ended up losing motivation/burnout, left and then came back for a second attempt 😅

i’ll do my best to offer you what i can and things that i found helpful to get back into the groove of writing <3

( long post ahead )

writing tips:

the first thing i heavily suggest is to just write. don’t focus too much on things like grammar, whether the story flows well, dialogue, or anything just write whatever comes to mind. you can worry about those things afterwards once you’re editing and revising!

along with that do some rough drafts! i know we all hated that stuff so much when we wrote essays and stuff for school but believe me having drafts truly does help when writing a story

if you dont like how one story turned out DONT DELETE IT. save it and come back to it another time! maybe you didn’t like how it flowed but you really liked that one dialogue or description you wrote and perhaps want to build a story based off of that or add it to a current wip

decide on what it is you want to write! maybe you just want to have a blog strictly centered around one character or person, write smau’s, oneshots, hcs, etc. or maybe even a culmination of everything! all of these are considered writing and will always have an audience wanting to read them on here

one of the main reasons my burnout happened was because i gave myself too much work and a schedule. i know some authors like to have a schedules for their work but i honestly found it very pressuring which resulted in my uploading works i wasn’t proud of or that were rushed :((

write whenever you feel like it! remember that you’re your own boss on here! there’s no problem with updating once every month or every other day. writing takes time. i assure you your blog isn’t going anywhere if you leave it or take a break from writing for a couple of days

at the same time you also need to know your limits as a writer. don’t feel the need to constantly be uploading fics every single day! that’s one of the main reasons writers on here sometimes abandon their blogs or series. ofc if you’re able to handle doing so then by all means go for it. but i know for most it’s taxing and leads to a lot of burnouts and lack of motiviation

so take your time. if you have an idea for a series or story plan it out first and then once you’ve got a good idea of how you want everything to play out then you can upload it!

don’t feel ashamed about looking up things online! i for one am constantly looking up ways to describe certain things like emotion, expressions, scenes, etc. ( insert me typing “synonyms for (word)” 😭 ). it just goes to show you want to improve your writing and make it more interesting!

writing is all about trial and error. there is no wrong or right way of doing it. i know when it comes to tumblr, getting your fics recognized and read by others can be very hard with the algorithm and such relying heavily on reblogs which most fics struggle to gain a lot of as people just opt for just liking.

but please don’t be discouraged by how many notes your works receive! as long as you stay consistent and true to your writing it’s bound to reach others and receive the recognition it deserves <3

writing process:

as for my writing process it’s a bit all over the place lol

a lot of my stories/smaus i come up with due to being inspired by something! whether it’s from a song, a prompt/dialogue starter i found on pinterest, a movie/anime show, aus/tropes, or sometimes having a random thought like “what if character a and character b were this and that”

but once i have an idea i start planning it out! i recently made the transition of planning out my writing from google docs to notion and omg… it’s become a life saver i highly recommend using notion as a way to plan out your fics snd such

everything is just so organized, there are templates online to use that you can add personal touches/adjustments to to really make it your own!

usually when i come up with a fic idea i already have a character in mind that i would like to do it for but if you dont have one or are struggling to decide, pick at random my friend LMAO ik a lot of my moots sometimes use a character wheel or random pick generator online to decide on characters and from what i’ve seen it helps them a lot😭

when planning out my fics i dont focus too heavily on every little detail. it’s called the planning stage for a reason. i just focus on the major points i want to make sure i hit, write out certain ideas i have in mind for a specific scene or dialogue sequence, character/world building and all that good stuff

creating a playlist for the story also helps me a lot too! really establishes the mood of the story and even gives me some additional inspo/support! one thing i recently started doing is finding a playlist on youtube that fits the mood of my story and then opening another yt tab and searching for ambience sound and playing them both at the same time lol ( trust the process )

once i feel satisfied with my planning i move on to the writing ( the most dreadful part of all /lh ). as i mentioned in the writing tips section, i just write whatever comes to mind and keep going until i get stumped or run out of ideas

if i hit that point i take a break and focus on doing other things like working on another piece or doing something outside of writing ( cough playing stardew valley ) or talking to my lovely moots <3

this is also considered a writing tip but take breaks! i cannot stress this enough. don’t spend hours just writing! take breaks in between, distract yourself with something else. sometimes your mind just needs a break from writing for a bit.

[27-royal-teas]

hiii toby!! I just followed you recently and decided to look thru your ao3 account and your bookmarked fics and ended up reading that fic called "just to seal my fate". and it was soooo good. like the writing was great, it was funny, the story was cute, I just loved it. I was wondering if you had any recommendations for anything in a similar sort of style/vibe or a similar story? I haven't read any fanfic at all in quite a while and I'd forgotten how absolutely delightful it is.... nothing like rotating those characters around in your mind in silly little situations is there haha

ANON OH MY GOD ANON I AM KISSING U ON THE MOUTH WIRH PASSION,,,, JUST TO SEAL MY FATE IS LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS IN THE WORLD. you cannot COMPREHEND my delight at receiving this ask, I love you to DEATH

ok so everything by the author of that fic — jalex_barakarth3012– is absolutely FANTASTIC and it all has that melancholic smoky dramatic vibe, which is something I really really like and strive to recreate in my writing (which you can probably tell if youve read Burn It Up All Night). I’ve recommended this to LITERALLY EVERYONE but my favorite fic in the whole entire universe is also by that author and it is called erode. erode has the same type of vibe and it’s extremely fucking long but the pacing is amazing and the storytelling is incredible and I adore it so, so much, I have left so many comments on it that I think the author probably despises me now lol. so basically if you haven’t yet please read everything by that author and give them ur support because they are so underrated and I love them so much. they have three other DELIGHTFUL fics and I never ever get tired of their writing. if it’s more ATL fic you’re looking for, unfortunately there isn’t too much with the same kind of writing style— believe me, I’ve looked. a large majority of ATL fic is smut and I have no problem w that it’s just nice to get a balance sometimes, yk? anyway the first author that I really love in the ATL fandom is probably bellawritess— or, on here, @clumsyclifford. she excels in tooth-rotting fluff and I believe she’s got 70 or so incredible oneshots in that fandom. she’s good at keeping a story feeling light and funny and in-character, and I basically lived off of her fics all of last year. also, she has friends who also have written fic in the same fandom, which is really nice. specifically, her cruel summer series is the most in the vibe you’re looking for.

ok, so if you want more vibes— idk what fandom you’re looking for but you’ve probably noticed im a big fan of the dark, melancholic, neon kind of vibe, with writing AND with reading. scarredsodeep (@shark-myths) and earlgreytea68 (@earlgreytea68) both write some of the BEST peterick out there if you’re in the fob fandom (I assume you probably are at least a little if ur on my blog). I adore their writing and they’re both also really huge inspirations for my writing style and YEAH, THEYRE JUST REALLY GOOD.

hmm ok I’m also gonna tag a couple of my other writer friends on this blog — @spirallingstarcases, @setting-in-a-honeymoon both write FANTASTIC fic and have their ao3 posted on their blog, I believe. they’re also super nice people and very cool and I’m very lucky to even get to know them slightly!!

ok this was a lot longer of an answer than I anticipated giving, I apologize— if you check my bookmarks, the fics on there I can’t rave about ENOUGH. the authors are all so fucking talented. give them some attention, because they deserve it!! they are lovely writers and even better people!!

I THINK IM DONE NOW. THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK

[captnjacksparrow]

My little niece said something so profound the other day. She said— with all her 13-year-old wisdom; that she can’t relate to any female character in Naruto. At all. You see, I’m not fifteen anymore, so all of my animosity towards the female characters in Naruto has relatively died down over the years, mainly because I stopped watching it after the manga has ended. watching the series now objectively is really weird to me. Like… really weird.

I think you sent all these messages to the wrong blog.

Just like many other Unpopular Opinions I hold... I am a stern believer of "Kishimoto is not a Misogynist. He is an In between (neither Feminist nor Misogynist)... His annoying Sakura & Hinata were off setted by Wonderful Tsunade, Granny Chiyo and Konan + Saori from Mario manga"

I have talked about this in 3 long posts Here, Here, Here.

So, Please Block me (???) So that my posts won't hurt your opinion. And please take this post as more of questioning your own words from my POV rather than me bashing or offending you. Since your ask is pretty nice and I have no reason to offend you.

You said,

"When reading fiction, the authors values come through their work"

I wonder how far is this true??? Will you be saying the same lines for all the fiction??

Even Fan Fictions???

There are so many SNS fanfictions which has Over the Top Romance as the base. Does it means all those Authors are Extremely Romantic in real life???

Or Can we say all the Smut fan fiction writers are overtly Horny 24/7???

Or Can we say all the Eastern doujinkas who wrote smut dj between Itachi and Sasuke are practicing Incest in real life???

I guess the Answer is fairly simple and obvious.

The Answer is What the Author writes/draws has nothing to do with what they are in real life.

Then how is it that this claim of 'Kishimoto is a Misogynist because he did dirty to Sakura and Hinata' holds absolute truth???

There is this wonderful movie called Kill Bill which was directed by Quentin Tarantino. I swear it's one of the best commercial movie which passes the Bechdel Test with flying colours. Theres literally 5 women characters who were written with such a care and flair.

Among them, O Ren Ishii is my All time Favorite woman Character in the entire media. Like I am devoted her to the point of building a Worshipping hall for her. And none of women fight for getting an affection from a Dick. All of them were given such a vibrant personality with 80% of the screentime.

With the way this movie was written, you can even say Quentin Tarantino is a Feminist.

But do you know what he did to his Co Star Uma Thurman in real life???

He quite literally forced her to perform a difficult stunt that could take her life if not careful. And as it happens, she got crashed into a tree that almost killed her.

So, A director who made a movie about woman empowerment has no concern for a woman in real life and was even willing to let her die if that could get his job right????

So Tarantino is not a Feminist that he projected through his movie... At best, He is a wonderful creative artist.

Why just slandering Kishimoto but not those Smutty novel writers or doujinkas????

You know it's bad when your main female characters' goal is based around trying to build a romantic relation with a main male character

What about Naruto???

Like that dude had a wonderful dream of becoming an Hokage. But all he did was screaming, "Sasuke!!! Sasuke Sasuke!!!".

Will you actually repeat your same lines for Naruto, "You know it's bad when your Main characters' goal is based around trying to build an unexplainable relation with a Deuteragonist" ???

Do you know who says these lines in relation to Naruto???

Dudebros...

Like they literally hate the fact that Naruto was going behind Sasuke by leaving his Hokage goals behind.

If you liked Naruto going behind Sasuke, then why not Sakura though???

I find this quite hypocritic, tbh.

My point is Kishimoto always keeps one character's development to be revolved around another character. Naruto around Sasuke, Sasuke around Itachi, Obito around Rin... That's his way of writing. Gender has nothing to do here.

If you have to blame one, please blame all.

"During Tsukuyomi portion, Tsunade has her ultimate dream of making her dead husband to become an Hokage instead of her"

Anon, I think you are forgetting the basic facts here. Tsunade's original dream was to revolutionize the medical system in Konoha... And she did it successfully. And Tsunade literally carried Dan's and her brother Nawaki's dream to become an Hokage... So, it's very logical for her to see her boyfriend finally becoming an Hokage in a Tsukuyomi Dream.

Wasn't it enough for you that Kishimoto actually made Tsunade as a Hokage for 80% of the series??? Not just a simple Hokage, but a strongest Kage who took literal stabs from Madara and she was the only kage who saved all other kages by lending her chakra (eventhough her body was sliced into half) after Madara knocked them all out???

"The fact that Kushina ended up as a Housewife is such a dirty move"

It was established from the first chapter that fourth Hokage saved the village from Kyuubi and he has some connection with Naruto....

If all the 4 Hokages' faces were carved onto that rock in as early as 1st chapter, I wonder how can the Author make Kushina into another Hokage??? Like how???

And what's wrong with being an Housewife anyway??? Isn't this discriminatory towards a certain section of women???

Tsunade is the Woman Hokage.... Mei is the Woman Mizukage who was shown to reform Kirigakure into a respectable nation... Granny Chiyo, a married woman was fighting A Robotic Monster at a ripe old age of 85...

I mean, No.... Some Women were given leadership position in this Manga... And Some prefer to be Housewife on their own choice... Kushina becoming Hokage has no base anywhere.

But Still

He made Kushina into a working Jounin along with Minato in Road to Ninja movie, A movie whose story was conceived and composed by Kishi himself.

If he could make Kushina as a working woman, Minato into a Dishwashing husband in a movie.... Where is Misogyny here????

As for all your other asks, I've already covered in my attached posts... Not gonna repeat here.

But I have this question

Why do you badly want Hinata to have more scenes in a Gay Manga???? Like how does that helps SNS???? Gay media means A media that portrays Love and Relationship between 2 male characters... Kishimoto will do anything if that means that could prop up Naruto and Sasuke... Because this story is about them.

He created Sakura to compare and contrast Naruto's similar feelings towards Sasuke...

He created Hinata to compare and contrast Sasuke's similar feelings towards Naruto...

He created Obito to show how Naruto would've turned out had he lost Iruka and Sasuke...

He created Hashirama and Madara to compare and contrast their similarities and differences with Naruto and Sasuke.

Like everything Kishi does, he does it to serve only Naruto and Sasuke... But why do you want Hinata to change her clan and have prominent role in a manga filled with Gay characters??? Would you be okay if I make strong Male characters in a Lesbian novel and make it all about men??? Why is this insistence that Women needs to be inserted in all the places???

Does Broke back mountain has a strong woman character???

But Claymore, A shounen manga has more strong woman characters than any other Manga... But why nobody is talking about it???

Mario, a manga which was written by Kishimoto himself. He literally made Saori into the MVP of that manga... Like the story won't move if there is no Saori (AKA A female version of Sasuke)... But why nobody is appreciating his work???

Why everything has to be about Hinata and Sakura??? Because they are associated with the Main Characters??? So, A Woman gains her importance only through A Man... I just don't get this Logic.

Here's why I don't think Kishimoto is a Misogynistic Monster, this fandom portrays him to be.

1. He wrote Tsunade, a secondary side character to have a dream that has nothing to do with a Man... Fulfilled it successfully like a boss... Then carried his loved one's dream and truly became an Hokage. While Tsunade was fulfilling a dream after another, Jiraiya was wandering aimlessly... Kakashi explicitly told he doesn't have a dream.

A character to have her own arc... A character to have a solo fight with 2 main villains of this series... (Million times better written than Sakura and Hinata)

2. He wrote Konan, a secondary side character... Only woman Akatsuki member... Had a notable fight with the main villain of this series and almost killed him... (If only he wasn't an Uchiha... he would be dead already)... (She did more than what Hinata did in the entire series)

3. HE WROTE SAORI, A FEM VERSION OF SASUKE.

4. He never sexualized little girls... However he sexualized Sasuke and Sai though.

5. He never idolized Hinata as the ideal woman as the Dudebros wanks for her to be. However, he idolized Saori kind of woman in his works. Which shows he likes women to be strong.

6. His portrayal of women characters in Road to Ninja and Mario is worthy to be noted. Other than Hinata and Sakura, his portrayal of women characters in Naruto is pretty decent.

7. If Kishi made Sakura to feel inferior with Hinata's boobs... Then he also made Naruto to feel inferior with his short ding dong...

8. If Kishi made Kurenai's dad to instruct his daughter to bore him a Grandson, then he also made Hashirama to instruct his clansmen to promise on their Grandsons that they won't kill Madara. Meaning, It's a Pro Natalist comment irrespective of Gender.

9. A culture which promotes Marriage and to have kids... Tsunade remained single.

10. He literally made Shikamaru to have a draw with Temari in Chunin Exams... He made Temari to protect Shikamaru's ass in the Sasuke retrieval arc... Meaning, Shikamaru and Temari are equals. So, you are calling an Author as a misogynist who created Hetero Couples who are equals... Like DanTsunade, ShikaTema, Mario/Saori, Minato/Kushina (in RTN movie)????

If you want me to say Kishi is a Misogynist, then all the above 10 points shouldn't exist...

Kishimoto could've easily wrote Hinata to have more scenes like changing her clan and whatnot + A Big boobed bimbo + An Ideal Waifu whose only job is to satisfy Naruto + Naruto living happily with his beautiful but a bimbo wife... This version of Hinata's portrayal would have made me tag this author as a shitty misogynist...

But that's not the case...

Considering his positives cancels out the negatives... He should be deemed as a neutral instead of tagging him as Negative.

And hence, Kishimoto is an In Between.

[shytastemakerthing]

Hey. Is it to possible get romantic twisted wonderland match up?

I am an 18-year-old woman, about 161 cm tall. I have brown long hair.

My hobbies include being simple, I'm a small Otaku and I also have a small Tumblr blog. I spend a lot of time on phones/computers but I'm not really good with them.

I love history, politics, learning about different things and watching other people argue about pointless things. I have a slight interest in fashion, but I can't do anything about it. My Sleep rhythm sucks.

Humor is also my thing... I have little dark sense of humour :)

If you need to know my horoscope is cancer. I also have ADHD and autism...

Also hello random person who read this.

A/N: What is this!? I'm getting a request from one of my favored tumbler blog writers!? Have I ascended!? Thank you so much for your request, I do hope that you like it!

Honorable mentions for the matchup would be Riddle, Lilia, and Floyd. Quite a variety xD.

I match you with........

Idia Shroud

• You're an Otaku (even if only small) and be is an Otaku (massive). Honestly, everyone coukd see this coming from a mile away. While you may not be as huge into it as he is, he still enough being able to share these interests with you, because he knows you listen to him and enjoy hearing him speak. He still questions your sanity about that one. Poor boy still thinks he's a yucky Otaku, undeserving of the perception that is you. Seven, please help this man.

• I can see him having a bit of a darker sense of humor. It all comes as a part of who he is as a person. He's not always all shy and awkward. Come on, this man was twisted from Hades and we ALL saw how Hades was. It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if this flame haired man had himself a Hades personality streak and let it all run wild. Then the both of you bounce off of each other and it really gets going. It's rather quite fun.

• We all know this, it has been stated so many times before, you initiated this relationship, he honestly didn't know he had racked up that many affection points to unlock the neck level and open up more chapters. You've begun the dating stage, and you've also initiated more physical touch and maybe a few dates here and there. The boy is still a blushing mess when you so much as lean your head on his shoulder. You also love to remind him that he fainted during the first kiss. It was rather amusing (Ortho has it all on video, much to Idia's dismay, and no, he will not delete it.)

• Sweet, baby Ortho absolutely loves his new big sister. When he is not with his brother, running errands or with any of the other students, he is with you. He's just so happy happy his brother has finally found someone for himself.

• Poor sleep rhythm buddies! (As I literally type this at 11 at night xD) Idia's sleep schedule is so screwed up that it's too the point of nonexistant that this point. Ortho had tried endlessly to get his brother on a better sleeping habit, this is when he brings you into the picture! Maybe he just needed himself a buddy? Thus begins the first official sleep over.

• It had been quite a few nights since either of you have either really slept or even got in a couple hours here and there. Along games or favorite murderous robot bo with you in tow. He IA going to get the both of youbto sleep even if he has to hit both of you up with with the hard-core melatonin gummies. When you both first lay down in his bed, Idia is stiff ad a board (save his posture while you're at it), and he doesn't move. He doesn't know where to put his hands. His hair is burning pink and his face is a blushing mess. Several minutes last before you're slowly wrapped around him, legs tangles, arms around his waist, and head on his chest, hearing the soinf of his heartbeat. Bith of you were out in less than ten minutes and had the best nights rest in years.

• He may not be the biggest into politics, but he at least knows what's going on in the world around him. Both from thr media and what js expected of him to know with his soon to be position on his dreaded home island. We don't talk about his family for a variety of reasons. He doesn't mind people arguing, just so long as it is not directed at him, he is tially fine.

• Overall, the both of you vibe so well, it can be rather scary at times. Especially if he is one of his more confident moods. Face it, we all love this skrunkly man.

[showfallmediamaintenance]

[Begin audio transcript.]

[Footsteps echo from below. They come to a standstill after a moment or so.]

?: Fancy seeing you here, Edgar.

[Voice unrecognizable. Please try again.]

?: I was just getting ready to come and see you at your little wagon-house. But I suppose you beat me to the punch. How did you know where to find me anyhow? I never told you where I slept. Perhaps you have gained a knack for stalking yourself, hm?

?: I’ve been walking around for an hour checking every store for your sorry ass. So no, I haven’t. I’m still shit at it. 

[Voice identified: Edgar.]

?: Seems to me that you are eager to talk, regardless. What has been on your mind? Besides the usual, of course.

E: Mostly what you said yesterday. You really know how to leave someone thinking about something for a while, huh?

?: I consider it a specialty of mine. Being a good writer is a skill you learn on the job while Watching. Though I admit, I have not been keeping up with the practice recently. For obvious reasons. Though the Tumblr blog has actually proven to be oddly effective at keeping my mind sharp. 

E: You have a fuckin’– ugh, never mind. Answer my questions before I knock your lights out, dude. I’m not feeling as friendly as yesterday. 

?: That was your friendly side? I’m kidding, I know you don’t have a friendly side. Remind me of what you wanted to ask? And do know that I am still morally bound to keep most secrets of the Watcher organization hidden.

E: I do have a friendly side, I just don’t fucking like you. Anyway, I wanted to first know what the rumors were that brought you here, I have a guess, but I want to know from you.

?: Could’ve had me fooled. But regardless, the rumors had been floating around Tumblr for a while, but it was when Archivist said something that piqued my interest. I was already aware that Showfall had the technology to revive people from the dead, though I had no clue what they would want from you, no offense. 

E: Before you or I say anything else. His name is William. Don’t let me catch you calling them that again, got it?

?: I will bring the matter to its attention. it is perfectly capable of speaking for itself, you know.

?: Anyway, I decided that night that I wanted to see for myself. Since you were no longer technically my client, however, I had to take measures into my own hands. It was against protocol, but I was never concerned with little details like that anyways. I broke protocol a long time ago when I first reached out. The bigger threat was clearly Showfall, and I was willing to break a few rules to catch the bigger fish. I knew you were my ticket in.

[Edgar laughs, for maybe a tiny bit too long, before he takes a breath in, and speaks with a slightly amused tone.]

E: So, what you’re saying is… you broke company protocol, got fired, and got trapped in the Showfall facility over a rumor that I was alive? And you don’t see how this could be anything else but work related?

?: First of all, I do not like what you’re implying. But beyond that, of course there was a bit more to it. And anyways, I had no way of knowing that Showfall would be creating demons in their basement. 

E: Not demons, security. There’s a difference. I don’t think even Hell could make one of those.

?: You say that as if you have seen demons before, but sure, “security,” is one word to describe that mutated pile of human meat and television screens. 

E: Eh, yeah. Never seen a demon, I don’t think I ever will. 

?: Seems to me like you already have. I brought equipment, expecting to find humans, but I suppose a taser was never going to work against such a beast. I even lost my personal camera down in those tunnels after I used it as a distraction.

E: Technically, you did find humans. 

?: Not quite human anymore. But let us resume our conversation. Edgar, how long has Showfall been in production?

E: [Whispered.] I guess you wouldn’t have seen those things hesitate, then. [Regular volume.] Hard to say, Cassius is apparently 330 years old, and Showfall was likely around earlier. 

?: Then you can imagine how Showfall can haunt someone for many years. Or even generations. 

E: Where are you going with this, exactly? I thought I was the one asking questions.

?: You snooze, you lose. But the point is, I have my own vendetta against this corporation. Something I am sure you can understand, but nothing so important that I feel the need to waste the time and breath with my entire backstory.

E: Yeah, you’d fuckin’ know. Loser. A few more questions are still up here, so if you want me to leave, let me ask them.

?: No, go ahead. Stay a while, this has been the most productive we have talked in months.

E: Don’t get used to it. I’m only being like this so I can ask these questions. 

?: I wouldn’t dare to. Though it appears you will be seeing much more of me, since everyone is planning on escaping at the same time. It would be a bit rude not to invite me, right Edgar?

E: God, fuck you, man. 

?: Next question, please. Exchanging information is what I am paid for. Or I suppose, was.

E: Alright, second question. How the hell did you even become one of those fuckers, anyway?

?: Well, how did you get mixed up with Showfall?

E: I got mixed up with Showfall because they decided that I was apparently good enough to be a mechanic, so he took me from my shared apartment with my ex-fiancée. If you’re implying we were taken in the same way, I highly doubt it, because you don’t act like the type of person who’s ever made contact with a woman.

?: Oh, you’d be surprised. But no, really, it is quite a similar story. People in power can make you do horrible things for money. When you are young and desperate, it is easy to be taken advantage of. Molded into something else. Made into someone you are not. Believe it or not, I had a life once. And you did too. And you know who is in the center of it all?

E: We are not the same, W. 

?: I do not mean to imply that we exactly are, but there are similarities, no? You cannot deny that we share a common enemy.

E: I… you’re the worst. Fuck you. 

?: I know how much you hate thinking about it, but I have one anecdote for you: have you ever read “The Art of War,”? I am sure you are well aware of the line, “the enemy of my enemy is my friend,” but here is another quote to ponder over: ““If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” That is what our foundation is made for. That is why I am here.

E: … [Slightly skeptically.] Right. 

?: If enough is understood about Showfall, their destruction would be easy. But the issue stems from their control of the media. So much personal information is put out on social networks every day, and Showfall is the first company to have completely monopolized personal data. The Watcher program is the only other entity that can come close to the amount of personal data that they collect in a single day, and even then, it will probably never be enough. If my theories are correct, Showfall will likely buy out the Watcher Program soon anyways, and after that, I fail to see hope for the future of this… everything. 

E: You’re a fool. That’s all I have to say. One more question. 

?: If being a fool means having hope for the future, then I would rather die a fool. But go on. This is a discussion for another day, I do not wish to argue semantics when our goals are so closely aligned.

E: Are you able to take this off? Like, ever?

[Fabric movement, and a tapping noise.]

[A loud collapsing noise sounds out as something heavy hits the ground. Heavy breathing follows.]

?: DO NOT TOUCH ME! 

E: Woah! Jesus! 

?: [Between heavy breaths.] You… You, uh… It is ok. You would not know. You could not know. This mask is, it is my choice as much as it is. A necessity. Nobody can know a Watcher’s face. Nobody. Nobody. 

E: Hm. 

?: We all have secrets. I ask that you respect mine. I understand that request is rich coming from me, but I just. It is information that has no use to you. I promise. I no longer wish to withhold potent information from you. 

E: Alright, I won’t fuckin’ do that again. 

?: Thank you.

[A pause.]

?: But also. 

[Another brief pause.]

?: Since you are here. There is one thing. I would like to say. Before you go back to your camp.

E: … yeah?

?: I would like to. Apologize. And I expect no forgiveness on your part. But it needs to be said. I have not made your life easy, and though some of that was beyond my control as a Watcher, as a person, I have not done my due diligence. That is all.

[Edgar pauses for a fairly long amount of time, clearly thinking it over.]

[Footsteps are heard walking away from the recording device, echoing softly into unknown territory.]

E: [Muttered.] Thanks. I guess.

[Transcript end.]