#but i dont think id be into it if i didnt have the nostalgia its not super my thing

[ganondoodle]

1 year since i got scammed by nintedno leaving me forever yearning for a game we will never get and an extreme worry for the future

[skeletalheartattack]

@ those tf2 server related tags: the lazypurple silly servers still exist. and if you want a silly-adjacent server that still has killing/pvp enabled then they also have a "TDM" server where objectives are disabled so you really just get to dick around

i figured his servers would still be around, although i don't think i ever had personally played on his servers before. i think i've seen some videos of them in the past though.

the two servers i use to hang around in through 2012-2016 were mostly just... hang-out servers? the term i refer to them as is "hub servers", similar to like... hub levels in platformers. one was a big city server where i met a good ammount of my friends on, the other was a server with maps the server owner created, which is also the server that hosted one of my maps. they had some sourcemods in common like the jetpack plugin.

im not sure if i could personally experience the vibes of those servers in the same way these days. granted anytime i play tf2 these days, it's usually to play casual, haven't touched any community servers in a long time.

[p2iimon]

its like i like breakcore but ive only found 2 bands that do it for me. give me music recommendations based on informerr by satanicpornocultshop. based on meat not wrraped. i dont know.

[magisland]

ALL THESE YEARS

lua’s note: happy bday coupsie!! also this is for my loved hanie btw @calicoups 💋

after studying and living in another state, you were finally back to your hometown, just to be surprised by your older brother welcoming you back with a small party.

seeing all those familiar faces was such a heartwarming moment, basically all of your friends were there, but there was someone that took all the attention for themselves, your brother’s best friend, seungcheol.

when your eyes met his figure you stopped in your tracks, he was different, but yet the same from when he last saw him. seeing him made you feel all the feelings you thought you didnt feel anymore, made you realize that even after all these years you still like him,

seungcheol saw you and immediately smiled and god, how you loved that gummy smile. “hey there, little one”, he said walking towards you and pulling you into a hug. he didnt change his cologne, the smell of home and comfort filling your nostrils.

“hey, missed me?”, you broke the hug and looked at him with a smile on your face, still mesmerized by his looks, not believing you were finally seeing him in front of you after four years.

“maybe i did… maybe i didnt”, he chuckled, “i did miss you. everytime i walked through a ice cream shop i found me thinking of you.. you still the biggest ice cream lover?”

you chuckled and nodded, remembering all the times you walked through an ice cream shop with him and begged him to go inside and buy an ice cream cone for you. “still the biggest ice cream lover”

the party already ended and your brother was no where to be found, most likely to be with his partner, and you were with seungcheol having a good time in the balcony, watching the view of the city night.

“how was college, little one?”

“it was good. life changing id say”, you looked at him, taking in the sight of him looking intensely at you, like he was scared youd leave and he would forget about you and your face, “but i missed here, cant lie”

he nodded, “i can see you changed”

“oh, really?”

“of course. i can tell you matured by the things you posted on social media and all that, yknow?”

you fake gasped, “was someone stalking me?”

“what? no!”, he laughed, “i have always followed you on twitter and instagram, you just appeared on my timeline. dont think youre that special”, he rolled his eyes in a okay playful manner, he wanted to make sure you knew he was joking about the last thing he said, he wanted you to know that you are indeed that special to him.

“yea right, cheol. pretend its true that i pretend i believe you. but you know, you changed too.. but physically speaking”

“i got bigger, didnt i?” he flexed his muscles, making you laugh and nod, “yes, you did got bigger”

“what else?”

“hm…”, you pretended to think hard about it, “you got older too”

“hey! how could you say that?!”

you laughed and shrugged your shoulders, “what about me? did i change?”

“i think we can say that you changed a bit,” he smiled, running his fingers through your hair, “your hair grew a little longer, your eyes changed a bit too.. now its not filled only with love and excitement for life, now it brings some nostalgia too” you chuckled, “stop making things up!”

“im being serious tho! i can see more love in your eyes”

“what else?”

“your style changed, you dont dress like before”, you chuckled, “thank god for that”

“i liked the way you used to dress up.. your makeup style also changed and…” he looked at your lips, “your lips… they look softer,” he brushed his thumb against your lower lip, “they look so kissable, more kissable than last time”

you felt your heart beating so fast you could swear it would jump out of your mouth, remembering when you saw him for the last time before going to another state, feeling the exactly same butterflies in your stomach you felt when he kissed you goodbye.

“do you think about the last time we saw each other? about the kiss?” he said placing a strand of your hair behind your ear, “because i think about it all the time”

“i think about it way more than i should”

he smiled and placed his hand on the back of your neck before leaning in closer and kissing you. the kiss was gentle, but yet firm. soon enough seungcheol was wrapping his arms around your waist and you wrapping your arms around his neck.

once he broke the kiss to catch some air he rested his forehead against yours and chuckled, “we should do that more often. actually, maybe you should just be mine”

[blood-gulch]

grace blood-gulch's s14 episode ranking list because i am so special and have lots of thoughts on every episode ever :)

Tier 1 - legitimately good quality content i recommend viewing

Room Zero - as someone who was personally Waiting those multiple years to see that rvb animated episode be finished i was so excited by this one. also i just love the animation + attention to character details in the og one. even though it doesnt really add much to that original base, newer fans should watch it to appreciate the animation cuz its cute. especially fond of every character detail moment like church running backward and using his hand to slide or the earliest iteration of grif being canonically animated as fat. idk i love it a lot and i think its p cute and well worth the watch. it's also the first episodically which is neat. good opener for s14.

The Brick Gulch Chronicles - look its stop motion lego and its cute as fuuuuuuck. the plot being sarges bday is adorable. literally awesome.

Fight the Good Fight - okay i just find it cute and quirky and generally enjoyed watching it quite a bit :) it made me laugh. the [Red] team gag was good. it reminded me of the similar gag from the simpsons in the kamp krusty episode. my dad always makes jokes about that specific gag so ahh. definitely worth the watch but understandable to skip.

Caboose's Guide to Making Friends - its just really fucking cute idfk

Head Cannon - This one's just really funny and also adds on to a scene that already was fun in a good way. Enjoyable. Highly recommended.

Get Bent - I wish sarge was still an old woman but dykenut and church bisexuality balances it out. i also wish we had female tucker. it makes me sad we didnt get female tucker.

Red vs. Blue the Musical - The reds' song is about weapons and the blues' song is about church killing himself. 10/10. no notes. perfect summation of rvb in like 10 minutes.

Mr. Red vs Mr. Blue - genuinely delightful like a distilled everything i like about tucker. he's really fun here. also sister is fun here.

The Triplets & The "Mission" - The triplets own hard. the scene with wash connie and south at the end always makes me smile. ohio girl youre fucking crazy but youre everything. I love you.

Tier 2 - Decent content. You can skip but still somewhat worth ur time.

From Stumbled Beginnings and Why They're Here - Mostly fun. Asterisk mostly. There's an episode between these two that's technically an episode trilogy you should skip. Otherwise is pretty fun.

The #1 Movie in the Galaxy: 3 - This is silly and fun. I enjoyed it. It's also short.

Meta vs Carolina: Dawn of Awesome - look man its a death battle. if you like death battle youll have fun. if you hate death battle you can skip it. shoutout sarge deadbeat dad implications though. i cant even be mad its just not the character id expect them to do that to...

Grey vs Gray - i found it fun :) nothing stand out tho. skippable but not egregiously bad.

Immersion: The Warthog Flip - Look if you Like seeing science stuff yeah its a good watch. if you dont like that you can skip it. I like the math and science though. you don't lose anything in skipping though.

Tier 3 - Meh

Orange is the New Red & Invaders from Another Mother - theyre not bad but aged... poorly. i thought they were funny when i was younger but i watched funhaus actively then. i dont know how this would fare to a non-FH fan. Desert Dance [Spins]

Red vs. Blue vs. Roosterteeth - I KNOWWWWW THERES A LOT OF NOSTALGIA its just .... not very funny. its creators meeting their characters but its also odd in a strange way. you can watch it if youre curious enough. i liked the end voice over of s14 a lot tho so like maybe watch it and if youre bored skip to the end lol

Tier 4 - Drink a lot or watch with friends to experience enjoyment

Club, Call, & Consequences - look man the only way youre enjoying this is if you are a hardcore lolix guy or you are wasted out of your mindddd. im sorry who the fuck is siris. i honest to god thought siris was a bit as a joke on the whole thing of "grif simmons and hammer" from earlier. they never even mention siris again. who the fuck is siris. i felt like i was like lied to or something . sorry siris is so fucking funny. well he didnt have a personality but thats ok. i dont know if he actually exists.

RvB Throwdown - Get Miles Luna out of the booth. never let him rap again.

Tier 5 - Bad. Skip it.

Fifty Shades of Red - Fifty Shades of Red has possibly one of the worst jokes in the series that immediately assassinates Tucker into a pretty fucking awful light and retroactively ruins his character for the preceding 13 seasons. I honestly recommend skipping Fifty Shades of Red to avoid that one tucker joke. its not necessary and contributes nothing. The rest of the episode is fine and on the level of stumbled beginnings & why theyre here. but god that one joke is so bad i can't in good faith recommend it. it just leaves me fuming LOL i could write an essay as it being the origin point of post s13 writers room tucker hate where they start trying to make him an irredeemable asshole & dont understand his whole deal for the rest of the series.

[woundworship]

i really dont get people saying that the new series is so "dark" and "gritty"... like, the source material has always been dark for something aimed at younger kids. i know it may not seem like it because you have those nostalgia goggles on, but it was!

mallory literally was kidnapped by gnomes because she was 'too pretty', then drugged and almost turned into an actual metal statue. the elves would have kept jared with them forever if he hadnt outsmarted them. the creatures have always been murderous, people-eating beasts. the movie just made them feel silly and not that scary for well. obvious marketing reasons. though i will admit i wasnt expecting them to have one of the main characters commit cannibalism without his knowledge and not even mention it, but! its in the folklore!

but even though the story was always a bit darker, i really didnt find the show that dark? if anything, i found the fae in it goofy a lot of the time. and if by "dark" people mean the environmentalist angle, that 1. has always been there lmao and 2. is the natural progression of things. you literally cant make a story about fae without talking about the environment.

im not saying it's perfect. i do agree we shouldve gotten more creatures, which may sound weird since the show was so mulgarath-focused, but everyone was always in their human form. thats boring! i want critters!!! little guys!!!!! i think a second season is unlikely, but if it does happen, id love it if they got tony diterlizzi to do the character design and even brought holly black in to help with the script.

anyway. literally no one cares about this and only me and idk, other 25 people have even watched the show, but as always I Must Yap

[keysmashhhhhhhh]

Tag Games!!! :))

thank you to @fandomchaosposts and @grandprixwinnerlandonorris for tagging me!!!!! dude i love tag games so much :)))

Who is your favorite driver?

SEBASTIAN VETTEL <3333 always and forever ever since i was a kid its always been him :)

Do you have other favorite drivers?

Ex Drivers: Nico Rosberg (started off liking him because it annoyed my gran who is a massive lewis fan but genuinely he grew to be one of my favourites, especially since retiring) and Jenson Button (my first memory of watching F1 is my gran thirsting over jenson haha)

Current Drivers: LANDO NORRIS (grand prix winner ahhhh), Alex, Oscar, Yuki are the drivers who i cheer for most often but honestly i love most of the current grid

Who is your least favorite driver?

Ooh actually a hard question, i dont "hate" any driver particularly if i dont like them i sort of just dont watch them you know? i know some people love to hate but im not really about that life haha

Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?

Its 50/50 - mclaren was always sort of "my" team because when watched f1 with my gran she cheered for lewis and jenson so mclaren always felt like the team to support but when i started to become a seb fan i hopped from red bull to ferrari to aston as he moved.

If you like teams, what team do you pull for?

Mclaren all the way 🧡 

How long have you been into F1?

I have very hazy memories of jenson winning in 2009 but i was 4 years old so i didnt have any critical thinking skills to understand what that meant. i wasn't really "into" it until i a couple of years ago

What got you into F1?

its hard to say, id say the nostalgia of watching it as a kid plus the fact that the community has grown a lot more in the last 10 years plus a seriously improved attitude towards women as fans (i remember in primary school one of the boys used to make fun of me for liking a "boy" sport whenever i talked about f1 - this was only 10 years ago which is crazy)

Do you enjoy Fanfic/RPF?

im a tumblr girl for a reason of course

How do you view new fans?

there is a noticeable difference between newer fans and older fans but i think its all about perspective. i mean i talk to my friend at work and he tells me about the races he watched in the 80s and 90s so of course to him im a new fan of f1 but when i talk to people who got into it in the last couple of years they see me as an older fan so i think its all about respecting the people who were fans before you and also welcoming the people who have become fans after you :)

If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?

Williams (my qualifications is i can sort of use Microsoft excel haha)

Are your friends and family into F1 as well?

My gran is the og lewis hamilton fangirl, my mum is into it (she's a george russel fan) and my sister is a charles fan - funny story my dad absolutely hates sports so he's the only one not interested but he absolutely LOVES LOVES LOVES nico rosberg and says he dresses like a bond villain

Are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?

OMG YES!!! its so funny though because i always assume my mutuals are like wayyyyyyy cooler than me haha

Tagging (no obligation if you're not feeling up to it!) @love4lando @sof1shticated @multiseb21 @formulapisces @481boxboxbaby @georgeinamerc + anyone else who feels like it!!!!

[kolektsiakomah]

FIONNA N CAKE RANT spoilers ensue

can i just say how wonderful this was . im dying im dead im flying out the window . enemies and lovers bubbline ¿¿¿ sign me the fuck up . marcy was so beautiful in vampireworld . every 1 of her outfits was magnificent and . i just love her ¿¿¿ evil bisexual goth w a pretty laugh what more could you EVER want . shes literally a princess im all for it . also i agree w cake the vampire king is kinda hot . BONNIE THOUGH ⁉️⁉️ W A BADASS HAIRCUT and huntress wizard and martin oh my god . MARTIN WHY DID THEY HAVE TO KILL MARTIN OFF god fucking damnit 😭😭😭 this wlw mlm different universes parallels had me at the edge of my seat the falling scene and gumlee running away ............. amazing . god i love it . gumlee have known each other for 3 days if im not mistaken and yea maybe the development was a little fast but holy shit im not complaining ¡ who am i to forbid them from kissing in the elevator after running away from marshalls evil mom

fionna and cake tho ¿ the way their friendship persists even thru all these horrors theyve witnessed makes me warm inside. they are so besties forever and truly no amount of fionna messing up and cake getting arrogant will ever change that ♡♡♡ i was so worried for fionna this time tho =<:((( this poor girl. all her dreams abt adventures and heroism are being crushed before her very eyes. when she ran out of the lab crying my stomach turned she was so relatable for that. i really hope she gains some confidence in herself fionna deserves the world <333 THE PETRIGROF JUICE OH MY LORD. THEY MET AT A NERDY CONFERENCE AND SHE AGREED TO GO ON AN EXPEDITION W/ SIMON AND SHE DIDNT EVEN KNOW HIM. SHE DROPPED EVERYTHING JUST TO HANG OJT W/ THIS MAN. THE LETTER. THE I WANT YOU TO BE BY MY SIDE. THE FIREFLIES. THE SONG. THE NOSTALGIA THE WAY SIMONS FACE LIGHTS UP WHEM SHES TALKING ABT BETTY. imma die

orbo being voiced by dave mccormack is the best thing ever id recognize that voice ANYWHERE 😭😭 also this was a delight seeing scarab again hes so silly. ive seen ship art of them and prismo on tiktok and their shipname is prohibited wish <333 idk bout you guys but im so on it prismo x scarab for the win ¡¡¡ also when orbo was talking abt 'THE boss' who did he mean. god ¿ like The God who made the whole place ¿ anyway i really want to see them. we probably wont get this chance tho but still

was so good to see bmo <333 this lil puter will always live in my heart. thank you for your sacrifice little 1 ♡ i get so sad thinking abt how they were living all alone in this desolate place w/ only jerry to talk to. and we dont even know if jerry ever spoke to him ¡ goddamit i hope every version of bmo goes someplace sunny and calm

lich was so fucking creepy ¿¿¿ jesus fuck i felt genuine fear when he spoke. 'cease.' WHOSE FUCKING SCARY DOG IS THAT. goddamn hes just as scary as he was before.....ALSP BETTY. BETTY BETTY GROF MOMENT. AT THE VERY END. she wished to keep simon safe. AND ITS WORKING. WHAT THE FUUUUCK IM SO HYPED THIS WAS SUCH A RIDE

[callieponders]

NGL sometimes I look at the crew's tweets about him needing to stop being in anger mode 24/7 and reintegrate into society, and I wonder: are we supposed to expect him to work through that by himself? Do we expect great emotional regulation and self-awareness from an elementary schooler in an abusive household? He absolutely shouldn't be redirecting his anger at the people around him (note: Hazel. she didn't deserve that ire at all and doesn't owe him any patience about it), but I can't help looking at him and thinking that he needs, like. I dunno. A therapist. An adult. Someone or something that's actually guaranteed to help him out a little. The adults present in the show... didn't seem very interested in doing that, despite seeming to know what his actual core issue was? Maddening. Anyway

(disclaimer before anything i say. i just need yall to know this show could be the worst thing ive ever seen and id still hope the best for the crew bc its their job and people need to eat alright. that being said i do enjoy the show, please dont take this as me saying they need to NEVER WORK AGAIN ala nostalgia critic style or something)

that wording is so funny though, reintegrate into society... the boy is a small child not someone coming out of prison

but seriously this is exactly the type of stuff im thinking, i dont really go on twitter much anymore because i dislike it so i wasnt aware of the things the crew said (and dont envy them because oh man this was a divisive finale it seems). i dont expect an episode like "dev goes to therapy" and the wacky adventures of him going to therapy or something, but im really hoping in s2 they have peri held more accountable for majorly screwing up here and trying to do right by dev with another chance given to him.

the frustrating thing is i cant blame people defending the choices because some people are genuinely really bad at voicing their opinion/critique, especially because it feels like a lot of people arent having the balls to actually point out peri, even cosmo and (frankly the worse one of the two bc she was so much harder on dev) wanda are a bigger blame for the situation with dev. of course people are gonna assume people are putting the responsibility on hazel, id also be defensive about that because thats a ridiculous thing to expect, but like nah its clear its not her responsibility. she is also 10 and has a world outside of dev, and dev SHOULD be held accountable for his actions in regards to lashing out at others around him when hes upset. the fact hes given more critique than the adults around him that are meant to guide him and help him is the bigger issue than that alone.

on that same note, hazel should also be held accountable for the same things, like saying devs problems werent that deep and having wanda, a FAIRY GODPARENT, basically agree??? also when she was like "oh friends work things out" i didnt hear no apology for not hearing dev out or at least for leaving him in the dark on if theyre friends or not. and the thing is i dont expect her to do that on her own, because shes 10, but theyre fictional 10 year olds who will have more maturity than most real kids either way, so like... yknow?

additionally its kind of a double standard either way, if you dont expect hazel to act mature, why on gods green earth would you expect DEV to??? and hazel, compared to dev, has people to guide her the right way and people that are patient with her, meanwhile dev doesnt get that, the most hes ever gotten is hazel and THATS NOT HAZELS JOB!!! im not saying the writers are claiming it is, its just that its frustrating that the writing has ended up with her feeling like the only person who really gives a damn yknow

[motionjames]

Wake up girlies, it's time to return to the frontline!

Guess who has insomniaaaa! 🤗💕💕

A month of cramps, nausea, increasingly worse insomnia (but a strangely good mood) has lead me down the path once again. I caught wind of some strange "gfl2" thing and after being struck with nostalgia, I grabbed bluestacks and fell into hell once more. I'd deleted gfl off my phone simply because it took too much space but now that it's on my computer, it's become DANGEROUS...! Github and clip studio up front with logistics running forever in the background. Yes, the ideal working experience.

Anyhow, everyone say hello to Contender.

I've been making more progress in these past two days than I had in the entire two months I spent with my new account because I realized how to (partially) Not Be An Idiot. Turns out there's a thing called "anchored construction" and you can get some pretty nice units (eventually) if you realize it exists! Wow! I got the girly and now I'm working on grabbing Carcano because she is pretty but also insane skillz.

Also, there's a discounted gatcha running right now and that means I can finally get over my mental block and spend tokens... I was surprised at how easy it's been to acquire them, so I've just been shilling em out. My dorm was totally bare until now. I'm sorry, everynyan...

As for actual gameplay, I finally made it past 2-6. It might seem like a simple thing to most but I was yet again, being an idiot. I was under the impression that I HAD to have dupes of the girls to dummy link them when I actually was swimming in dummy cores 🤦🏽‍♂️ What's wrong with me... Well, I jumped over that hurdle, blasted through the emergency missions, and am finishing chapter 3. The first parts arent so bad when you learn how to read! 😃😃😃

First eschalon is good, it's the standard one that everyone seems to use to clear the early game. This second one is a WIP mess that I'm readying for night missions. You see, I'm really hurting for half-decent SMGs and rifles, the second one there is kinda lacking in defense/fire power... I wanna create a decent second eschalon and night mission groupie but I gotta figure out what units to invest in. I hope for Carcano soon. She is cute. Also, feel free to berate me for my bad decisions and suggest decent compositions. I am so lacking in SMGs that dont immediately explode (mpk you are so cute but so stupid). I'm currently looking at friend's compositions to figure out what formations work...

In completely different news and only further proving how dense I am, I only recently learned that Girl of the Bakehouse was related to GFL. I've had my eye on Reverse Collapse for a while now since it's a remake (of a remake?! I didnt play the previous one) of a visual novel I played in 2012 or so. The original vn was made in 2009 in like Kirikiri script and I was a young lad very fixated on all things with girls and guns (Gunslinger Girl was and still is a favorite of mine, I would've read it one summer at my Uncle's out on the front porch). There's an english patch now, but back then it was only in Chinese so I had to use text extracting and image translators, looking up the characters as I went. I got a cup of coco and opened up a patched version last night for old times sake. It's clearly a doujin work with those rough edges but it's so damn confident in its presentation you can't not get swept up in the presentation. The sound work make it very immersive. I highly reccomend reading it if you want a solid, emotional war story. Looking at the sepia soaked sketches, down-to-earth narrative, dense wordbuilding and general war otaku sentimentality... It really predicted a lot of my tastes, huh... 😅

Behold, teh wolfguy...

Back to work. Logistics still running. I can and WILL continue being stupid. The nostalgia is really strong, I'm tempted to draw fanart despite the sour memories of the past. Again, please berate me and tell me of your team compositions. I think my ID is 772030 but I promise you, I won't be any good on teh battlefield 😇 this machine runs off hopes and dreams, not realities!

[37q]

not even being resentful or engaging in bad faith here i genuinely think social justice voyeurs on tumblr got burnt out on reading critiques of stuff they didnt have the energy or drive to negotiate with in their personal lives.

this happened around 2017 ish, maybe before the twt exodus, when at some point the voiceless masses stopped reblogging those deeper critiques based on years of foundational build-up bcuz so many ppl were, until then, just suspending their disbelief for their "listen to marginalized voices" performance, and whatever that breaking point was made them shift from "nuanced interrogation" to "passive survival".

like during the pandemic for ex people got upset and were very smart sometimes, and then people got so mad at people getting upset, and then we all sucked back in to our most comfortable self-affirmations like how humor was one of the only things keeping intangible friend groups together. sure as hell cant bond forever over complex trauma.

my god the elevation of humor as like a social object over all critique and action... the virology of privately shared memes, the black and white publicity of thoughtfulness; if youre not fully entrenched in or committed to alternative lifestyles then the role humor plays in your group identity formation will be of status quo comfort.

humor pulls the ends of something we know and plucks it to make the sound of our laughter, with the distance and tension between the poles producing the frequency. and the thing about comfort is that... well actually i dont care to get into it like that. all i know is that nostalgia and comfort are crazy for anyone under, like, 45-50 at this point, and any kinda of meme can serve that purpose.

we dont see these objects of humor as any thing. they exist only in our appreciation, a prompt without cause. its so odd to me because i feel like it was only yday that ppl were unafraid to get long-winded about something seemingly innocuous, but now anything serious over a joke is just totally inappropriate.

i feel like so many ppl have jettisoned their critical compassion for the sake of small pleasures. sometimes i dont blame them because if i could find a cheap laugh somewhere id take it, but then i come back to my reality where cheap laughs are blatantly reactionary. it makes me wanna throw up a lil what my friends friends can detach from enough to laugh at.

see thats the thing about humor being elevated to its status as a social object -- we dont see anything for what it is or what it does, we detach it from social life but now our social life from it. we need to push back against "maybe the curtains are just blue", because its seriously meddling with ppls willingness to interrogate how we ourselves interpret seemingly neutral messaging!

its not intentional, because nobodys signing up to shill for their prison anymore, but we carry with us all the funny little stigmas that feel good to pluck, and it feels even better to pluck them in an orchestra! we "propagandize" ourselves and each other: the "cop in our head" seeks safety and order, and she conditions our social instincts to decay and stasis instead of growth. be skeptical of comfort!

we are given the tools to make meaning and play with it, but so many ppl are just too tired to consider who made those tools! the value we derive from humor and its conditions comes from somewhere, and its our responsibility to trace the ethical lineage of our actions imo!

[cocolacola]

Yes, hello i have news

So today i showed my friend hellsing. I love her so much but she is so annoyinh, i ask her "which one would you like to watch, the 2001 version or ultimate?" (Mind you i talked to her about both of them extensively, so its not like she didnt know what was the difference) then she tells me "idk which one would you want me to watch?" and already then im crawling on the ceiling, but i stay calm and ask her "well do you want style or action?" And then she still doesnt give me an answer and then i start the gonzo version bc i think that that is a good starting point bc i saw that before ultimate (i read the manga before it but gonzo left a bigger impression in me amyways) and then she has the nerve to say that its slow and doesnt make any sense and that so much is filler

Bestie YOU let me choose, yes it will not be explained who makes the artificial wampires, but Ultimate doesnt explain it either at the same point in the story and i think its far better to look at in the case of style and mood

Anyway her mom doesnt really want her to watch it bc - prepare yourself - Alucard is Integra's servant. Yeah in the story where vampires kill vampires and lunatic catholic priests are running around with meter long bayonets and killing anyone who he wants (mind you her moms boyfriend is catholic), and THAT is the problem? That Alucard is a servant? That the fucked up anime has fucked up stuff in it when the point is to BE fucked up?

AND, and (and) this is when my friend watches aot which is equally fucked up, if not more

Idk its weird

my full response below the cut!

hey bestie ^o^ well let's see gets out clipboard there's a few different factors to this...

if we're talking about quality, hellsing ultimate all the way. a lot of people like gonzo for nostalgia and characterization reasons but ultimate is simply the better option for a first-time/one-time-watch viewer. i will say though, if they think gonzo is slow then the ultimate finale is likely going to be a total drag.

when it comes to getting into the show in general? it's a slippery slope. hilariously enough, most of my irl hellsing friends (hi guys) found out about it through me and the conversation went a little like:

"please for the love of god dont watch this show guys" "we're gonna watch it anyways" "might as well rewatch it with yall..." "HOLY SHIT WE LOVE IT"

in my (slightly un-knowledgeable) opinion, i think if your friend has watched aot they can handle the themes of hellsing ultimate. however i have been meaning to compile a list of content warnings (mostly for my own rewatches and skipping over scenes that are just. straight up assault) anyway so if you guys need any of that i would be happy to pitch in. unfortunately there's not really a way to cut out-how do i dance around this-the antagonists of the show so if that's going to be an issue i'd say stick to gonzo.

tldr, id say ultimate (unless you need to avoid the factor above), but that's just my humble suggestion and im not gonna hold myself responsible for anything that happens next lmao. thanks for inquiring and i wish you and your friend well :)

[forestryfae]

so like the goal for today is to clean the kitchen to some degree, do laundry until the racks are relatively full, and ideally clean my bedroom as well, plus i gotta empty the litterboxes

and its not like i cant get it done or anything its just that im thinking about the kitchen and its just so fucking cluttered. theres shit everywhere. ive got machines and hit on the counters and table, ive got two big boxes on the floor full of stuff i wanna get rid of, i cant even reach like half of the shelves in my kitchen and i can only it so much stuff where i CAN reach, and its just so i-wanna-throw-away-everything-core like. i dont wanna have to keep utensils Just In Case i need them, im tired of having to wash plates and keeping them around just for the cats even tho i dont use them myself, its annoying to not ever have a clean tidy kitchen bench and its really easy to forget ive put soemthing on there so i keep filling the dishwasher and thinking im done and i just turn around and theres six more pots i forgot i had sitting on the other side of the room.

i cant even fit my nicer dessert bowls and such in the cabinets cus theyre full of stuff i got as gifts that i REALLY like and wanna keep but also like who needs 8 waterglasses and 8 mugs at the same time. i love all the stuff i have and i dont wanna gt rid of it but every time i go to grab a mug im instantly like "no i dont want that one i want a different one" but its towards every cup and i cant even get rid of more cups cus i like all my cups and i dont even know what i have in the lower cabinets next to where i store the pots. i NEVER use them. if i want something i use often i store it where i can actually reach it and everything else just gets forgotten so you can imagine my surprise at the dicovery that i have four breadmolds and even christmas cookie tins

and its like that with every room in the house, theres stuff in plain sight i dont want to keep, theras stuff i didnt even know i had that i cant decide whethar i want or not specifically cus im so surprised i even have it and because of nostalgia, theres gifted stuff i actually like, then theres gifted stuff i dont even want to keep cus its just utterly useless to me. like the roomba dad "gave" me because he thought itd help keep the house clean. except its a much bigger hassle than its worth and it can only do one room and its a room i dont use so why bother. i als put gave in quotation marks cus hes coming to pick it up some da, no fucking clue when cus he just said "some day", cus he wants it back so grandma can have it. like. yes fair enough shes struggling to keep the house clean but its still annoying that this keeps happening over and over why does my family keep giving me shit then wanting it back. mom gave me their toaster so i wouldnt have to buy one but she went and just took it cus she just needed it while i was in inpatient. like. ive got furniture i got from either her or dad too. a table and chair set, a dresser, some lamps, christmas ornaments and shit, a christmas tree, some bowls mom gave me so id have bwls until i could buy myself bowls, etc. like i dont use any of it and they can gladly have it all back but they do not get to complain when i try to get rid of it and they dont want it either, and i dont want them changing their mind and wanting the stuff i actually like and use back. i wanna keep that one chair dad gave me and thats non-negotiable.

like. i just really wanna start over w the house. sell or give away all the shit i dont want so i can actually manage everything without exhautsing myself and getting rid of stuff i only keep cus i need it regardless of whether i want it or not. starting over completely interior-design-wise so ill have a better idea of what stuff i actually enjoy and what i actually use and what just feels trashy or just takes up space it doesnt need to take.

anyways i cleaned the bathroom today then washed my hair so thats nice

[vaugarde]

now that im on best wishes season 2 (in the sub, dub wise its been “rival destinies” for a while. hm.) im kinda curious to see how i process these episodes in the present. i havent seen most of them since they aired when i was a kid and i remember it being a mixed bag? in that there was a lot of stuff i remember not liking, like iris’s dragonite and ash’s charizard coming back for no reason (actually most of the nostalgia baiting was stuff i didnt care for back then? bc id get like frustrated that besides charizard they didnt commit, like the caterpie episode), and decolore was def a hit or miss in its structure

but also, this season had the N and team plasma arc and literally solidified concordia and anthea as some of my favorite human characters, i do remember liking dawn and some of the world cup stuff (tho i dont remember a ton of it, i think i actually missed a few episodes bc i cant even recall if all the rivals show up for the world cup besides trip), and besides some forgettable episodes, i remember really enjoying the decolore islands stuff. considering its basically just them trying to capture the orange island arc vibes from OS and that i liked orange islands, i do have high hopes for it this time around. i’m excited to see how much my opinions will change and if ill like stuff like dragonite better this time.

like i remember not liking “all for the love of meloetta” or really that much of the meloetta arc for some reason... i actually cant tell you why i didnt like it, i think i  was just bitter that i couldnt get meloetta in the game. but this time i thought the episode was really sweet and i appreciated it a lot more considering how JN would later build on what the iris vs cynthia battle set up. i think this season has some more to offer and im optimistic

[shadethechangingman]

Morning :) So, for the DC ask me, how about #5, #6, #7, #19 and #33?

Good morning!!!!!!!!

5. Favorite character?

ORIONNNN rips him apart like a chew toy so like I actually really didnt like him for a long time caus my understanding of him was based on some bad fanfic id read and justice league odyssey. and then i saw someone on a forum say he had a gay best friend and then i read new gods and i liked him more than LR actually and i had to edit all my JLO posts calling him boring and terrible

6. Favorite cannon ship?

[Image ID: Two panels from different comics. The first is Frost-bite leaning against a workbench in the garage, speaking to Off-Ramp. The second panel is Starfire talking to Arsenal.]

FROSTRAMP!! and sadly still roykory i think it could have been fine with a different writer and artist bc they were my fave characters always so im like well. i could fix them. i dont even have art from when they were actually dating on my computer 7. Favorite non-cannon ship?

LIGHTRION!!! ohhhhhh the immortal devotion lightrays plunge into the war to ensure his friend wouldnt be alone. step into my healing light oh lightray i am so sorry my friend my comrade ok bye. im dead

19. Favorite superhero family?

ok so i dont draw or post them but out of the groups i consider "families" i am gonna say aquafam. "iggy you hate 4 of the main ones and are neutral on the fifth" yes its true but i would live and die for koryak lorena deep blue jackson & ha'wea nuada sheeva lagoon boy + blubber. also i like 90s arthur genuinely. regular arthur is OK usually 33. Batman the animated series or Superman the animated series?

NEITHER SADLY one day ill get through all of it but i have a hard time w the pacing and dini/timm's pseudo cuck girlfriend swap stuff and also i really. really. hate it making creeper into joker 2 (actually TNBA i think but. still). i dont have any nostalgia to carry me through them bc when i was a kid JLU the batman + LOSH were on and those were really my "batman and superman" cartoons

STAS i think had the orion episode where he flies through the boom tube into a crowd of people his harness falls apart and he eats shit against a wall though so like big kudos bc i keep a video of that on my phone

[dumbbitchfrommars]

im uninspired and feeling like my head is empty, because ive spent a longgg time hibernating in the safety and comfort of my own bedroom.

well a small lie - i did go out to buy groceries today. it seems were all in the same boat. its cold out! no one wants to go outside. but connection and social interaction is what brings us confidence and joy and comfort in the discomfort.

but yet somehow despite that discomfort (my anxiety about returning to the real world) i was completely fine. i was okay. because i think ive finally figured it out. i know how to take care of myself. i know how to make space in the world without feeling ashamed or guilty for it. or im learning. but im so so so much better than i was. a year ago, two years ago... etc.

ive been wondering why i thoughtlessly let myself fall into the trap of nostalgia and request an old friend that i cut off on instagram. hes probably wondering why now? and avoiding it. fair enough. im not going to rescind that decision - its done now. but still i question my logic in that moment. but thats the thing, i wasnt thinking. i was being hopeful. but either way - he doesnt owe me anything, even if we were to become reconnected i wouldnt want to reach out or make any plans together. which again begs the question of why i would even try get into contact again in the first place.

i guess i have just been feeling tired of wondering how everyone from my past is doing, and that things could and would be so chill and relaxed if id never jumped to blocking but actually calmly and slowly distanced myself. which is what i am capable of doing now - after a few years of practice.

but coming back full circle - this friend was not a true friend. my nostalgia is a rose coloured pair of glasses because i remember our friendship and bond and the fun we had and the mischief we got up to. but this person - was not a friend. he was ill intentioned and selfish, and didnt truly care for me. he disrespected me and hurt me time and time again. so no, he is not worth my energy anymore. once upon a time we were soulmates. but i changed. i grew up. we grew apart. it was natural. and for some reason... of all the people from my past i could have done it to... it was him?

to be fair i already did reach out to my ex in march. and then i changed my mind within a week or two. and then he reached out to me... isnt that crazy? the timing? the fact that god had us pass eachother by like doves in the wind or ships in the night... because despite our bond still being there - the memories, the connection, the impact we had on eachother - its not enough. it was never enough. again, i grew up, we grew apart, and it was natural.

so what does this all mean for me? my usual logic is to cut the cord and say goodbye. but my subconscious desire to love, be connected, and honour the relationships that made me the person i am today is becoming stronger and stronger. i can put aside my ego and hurt, because i healed. i let it go. it is in the past. the past stays in the past and all that matters is now. and right now - i am not the kind of person who just deletes a person from her life and calls it a day. people are not disposable. and while i respect that we are completely different people now, and our paths have diverged and we will never replace the connection we once had, it doesn't mean i want to let you go entirely. i remember you. i respect how much of an impact you had in creating the person i am today.

i also respect that i probably hurt you just as bad when i walked away. so while i am ready to let go and forgive and reach out, i dont expect you to feel the same. to receive that energy and respond to it. its in YOUR prerogative to simply ignore and delete that request in the same exact way i did.

but... i probably wont reach out to the other friend. some people stay in the past. idk. im lost now. my point is ive let go and forgiven. but nothing really has to change, only my behaviour moving forward. no mistake is worth my walking away. distance is my friend but i dont need to cut people off anymore. thats the easy way out. life isnt meant to be easy. i want to learn to do the hard thing... i am learning to do the hard thing.

this has been a healing experience. thank you, C <3