#but i ended up just having like 12 ideas and not being able to execute any of them right

[sleepyblr-heart]

THEY ARE DONE. I AM FREEEEEEEEE

[inkskinned]

for the longest time my family used to host one of the biggest haunted houses on my block: elaborate, themed amateur haunts that pearled out along our lawn for one-night-only. spinning circus wheel-of-terrors and walkthrough alien crash-landings and spiders that arched over our driveway, leaking venom onto your feet.

we didn't have a lot of money; and honestly i don't know how we afforded what we did have. there were not going to be pneumatics or projectors or any supply over 20 dollars - and even 20 was a stretch. we were lucky, and we lived in a town that had a "swap shed", where people would drop off any banged-up-but-usable items that they wanted to get rid of. the whole year, my family would pick over someone else's discarded fans and lights and weird decorations, asking each other - what do you think? for halloween?

we would strip the motors out of rusted fans and spraypaint vases and saw broom handles in half and apply a very thick coat of cardboard and duct tape to everything. for our pirate year, i made the mistake of individually drawing woodgrain onto each strip of cardboard that made up the ship. i then gently painted and distressed the "boards" so they'd each have lichen and cracks and unusual patterns. i hid eyes in the knots and shaped skulls. you couldn't see any of it in the dark, even under our "spotlight" (someone's target-branded workshop flashlight).

i have a lot of very strange skills as a result. i know how to make a flying ghost appear both physically and in the mirror. i know how to make a witch's brew that stirs itself. i know how to burn and cut and paint until there is an iron throne you can sit on, or an alien brushing your ankles, or a hearse trundling along. i can't say we ever made it beyond our local newspapers, but we tried so hard that the town would regularly shut down our street.

i can't put any of these skills on a resume, and i haven't been able to put them to use for a while. i live in an apartment, there's no lawn for me to decorate. for years i've wanted to do an alice in wonderland theme, and have been collecting ideas like coins in a fountain. at other houses, i am transfixed by 12 foot skeletons and paper mache spooky lanterns; easily wooed by the knowledge of how much time people put in.

someone asked me once - so what was the point? and why didn't you guys charge anything to show up?

in truth, we probably needed the money. for years there, we were a 1-meal-a-day kind of a family. i was being polite earlier up in this essay: we furnished both our house and our halloweens using things left a recycling center. we live in new england and still didn't turn on the heat until the end of november, no matter how low the temperature.

every year we would collect donations for unicef and other charities. on an average year, we would collect enough to pay for our food for weeks. every year, without fail: we donated every penny.

this endeavor took months to plan and design and execute. we had to organize any volunteers and check safety and hope-for-the-best. it took at least 24 hours to set up, a week to take down. the motors and fans and lights all had to be packed tight. the cardboard would scatter, pangea in the rain and sleet. i remember picking up a plank from that pirate ship, the paint blown clear off, all my hard work completely erased. a new kind of driftwood.

if this was a poem, and not a memory, i could wrap this up prettily. i could say that these skills landed me a cool job in the haunting industry or that it taught me the value of friendship and responsibility. but i actually think it's something better, something very pretty: there wasn't ever a moral to it.

the night was a long one. yes, there were assholes, people who broke stuff. but mostly it was just kids like us in cardboard costumes, dressed as an incredibly niche kind of truck. good parents who were friendly and laughing. teenagers who slunk in at late hours, wide-eyed and secretly delighted; who asked us can i help next year? like, do y'all take volunteers, or whatever? every year more people came, and told their friends, and offered to pay. and every year we said maybe next year and meant absolutely never.

we did it because it was enough to love something, and to make that love visible. we did it because there is very rarely an excuse to have fun. i think maybe especially, for me - we did it because every year, there was one first "customer" somewhere around 3-4PM, while we were still putting on the final touches. the sun would still be up, and we were frazzled and always-running-late, and these kids saw our vision unfinished in the bright light of day.

something about their parents murmuring say thank you and telling my mom this setup is so sweet while this little kid would grin up at us, dazzled by our artistic mediocrity. the fall air and the chill and their coat-over-a-panda-princess-costume. that first phrase of the night awkwardly managed over a pair of overly-large vampire teeth: a beautiful and excited trick or treat!

[iambicpentameterhamster]

Every umbrella academy character ranked (seasons 1-4)

After that shitshow of a fourth season, i felt it necessary to redo this.

#36 -The Sparrows (Jayme, Alphonso, Fae etc.)

The show had no clue what to do with these characters. They sit around being evil for a little while only to promptly die within four episodes. Also one of them is a fucking cube?!? Whats up with that?

#35 - Sloane

How come she disappears in season 4 but not sparrow Ben? So much of this makes no sense.

#34 -Sparrow Ben

I hate this character with my whole being. He goes around calling people emo as if HE DOESNT WAKE UP EVERY MORNING WITH A SCOWL ON HIS STUPID FACE AND EMO HAIR ON HIS STUPID FOREHEAD. He's so rude and awful and i'm given no reason by the show to give a shit where he ends up.

#33 -Carl Cooper

This one speaks for itself.

#32 -Reggie's wife

The two of them annoyed me so much.

#31 -Viktor

Moochy emo sod. Elliott Page's acting got progressively worse throughout the series (and i like Elliott Page, but this wasnt his best work.)- season 1 Vanya was tolerable, beyond that i couldn't stand this character. All his jokes land flat and he has the charisma of a piece of cardboard.

#30 -Season 4 Five

For the sake of this ranking, i am treating seasons 1-3 Five and season 4 Five as seperate characters. Seems like the writers were doing the same. What the fuck, guys? How do you bulldoze a character this badly?

Season 4 Five was unfunny, selfish, cowardly, and most of all on a different plane of being from the Five we all knew and loved. Screw you, season 4 Five, you're not canon.

#29 -Season 4 Lila

I'm treating Lila the same way. Season 4 Lila was an injustice to seasons 2-3 Lila.

#28 -Harlan

Couldn't care less about him. He represents to me when the umbrella academy started going to shit in season 3.

#27 -Jennifer

Again, we are given no reason to care about her.

#26 -Pogo

He was just there for the exposition. They never explained why Reggie was doing experiments on monkeys??

#25 -Reggie

He was quite a good villain but i still hate him. Really goofy at times, too.

#24 -Jean and Gene

They were quite good actually. If season 4 wasn't a dumpster fire, i reckon they'd have been able to really shine.

#23 -Cha Cha

This is getting into better territory. I liked Cha Cha, she was badass, but not well developed.

#22 -Detective Patch

Again, i liked her, but she wasn't given much time to develop as a character.

#21 -The Swedes

They were funny, whimsical villains that were fun to watch on screen. Funny and whimsical are two adjectives that TUA used to embody.

#20 -Elliott

My guy just wanted to eat fish and be a conspiracy theorist 😔

#19 -Sissy

Welcome back, Sheldon's mum.

In all seriousness, she was well acted despite Viktor's actor giving her nothing to work with, so props to her.

#18 -Dave

WE GOT ZERO MENTIONS OF DAVE IN SEASONS 3-4?!? DESPITE HIM BEING A HUGE PART OF KLAUS'S CHARACTER?!?! WHEN I CATCH YOU WRITERS-

#17 -Destiny's children

I am in fact an active member

#16 -Luther

I have bumped Luther up my list because in seasons 3-4 he sort of embraces his goofiness, but in seasons 1-2 he is an insufferable, incestuous moron. He is up here for good character development and i wished he could have ended up with Sloane.

#15 -Agnes

She was really cute and sweet, i liked her a lot. RIP season 1, you were peak.

#14 -Herb and Dot

They were sweet and funny too, and i miss the whole idea of the time commission.

#13 -Kenny's mum

An honourable mention

#12 -Grace

Grace was super well performed and poignant. I have no issues with Grace.

#11 -Stan

Live, laugh, love Stan. I hate that the trauma of losing him was never mentioned in season 4 for Diego or Lila.

My top 10

#10 -Lenoard Peabody/ Harold Jenkins

I stand by him being one of the best-acted and most cleverly written villains of all time. He is not only a well-executed surprise villain, but a scarily accurate one, and the actor plays him to perfection. We even start to like him before the cracks show. Also he looks like a creepy version of Lin Manuel Miranda.

#9 -Ray

Season 4 did Ray DIRTY. It was completely out of character for him to just walk out. They could have at least have him die in a tragic accident or something. Season 2 Ray is the perfect, most charismatic, ideal man and i hold him in my heart forever and in my head Alison and Ray ended up together.

#8 -Hazel

He had one of the best arcs on the show, period. Continues to represent everything good about the first two seasons of TUA. He was flawed, he was human, he was loveable.

#7 -Umbrella Ben

He seemed like he could have been a brilliant character with more screen time. His sacrifice in season 2 was a genuinely moving moment. The backstreet boys moment is SO FUNNY and his and Klaus's dynamic is something i really miss.

#6 -The Handler

We don't appreciate The Handler enough. The show started rolling downhill as soon as The Handler was gone. She was the glue that held the show together, one of the best villains/antagonists in TV history.

#5 -Allison

Yes, season 3 Allison made some stupid choices and did some terrible things, but a lot of it came from grief and she redeemed herself in season 4 imo. Seasons 1-2 Allison was one of the most charismatic, endearing and empathetic characters on the show.

#4 -Seasons 1-2 Lila

I love you. I miss you. Come back to me.

#3 -Diego

Bumped up the list for being a CONSISTENTLY good character who is flawdd but still extremely loveable and hilarious.

#2 -Seasons 1-3 Five

Seasons 1-3 Five would shoot season 4 Five in the face. He is the daddy here, and season 4 Five is the creepy uncle.

Original Five is a masterfully crafted, hilarious, unique, intelligent character and i will not let season 4 ruin it for me.

#1 -Klaus

This needs no justification.

What do you think? How far do you agree?

[xandermatthews2290]

My rankings on how likely I think all 13 remaining students killed Arei

I’m sure this will age perfectly fine, and I’m not about to be shut down when the series comes back

*Added some photos to make it more visually appealing, searched them up in my gallery and chose the first for all of them

13. Teruko, I don’t buy that the protagonist is gonna die this time and it’s fairly clear her character is gonna be here until the end

12. Rose, a lot of this murder seems to have been handled rather sloppily, the rope being under the spinny thingy, the note being in the trash and not flushed down a toilet or burned, while Rose has demonstrated a lot of awareness of minute details like how old painted walls are

11. Nico, their attempted murder of Ace was pretty poorly planned and I doubt they would have had the time to plan out Arei’s killing specifically, I also doubt their ability to beat Arei in a fight/knock her out, to snap her neck

10. David, oddly enough I don’t think breakdown boy is our killer, he seems to have no idea how the murder was committed and it doesn’t feel like he’s being setup to die until at least chapter 3, admitting to it at all is bizarre and there’s also his bonus scene of stopping MonoTV from releasing the murder motive, if he’s the killer then these are massive mistakes that he shouldn’t be making

9. Ace, him getting attacked by Nico is a pretty big reason I’m ruling him out early, I don’t believe he’d have been in the condition to kill Arei, hang her up on the swing set, all with a freshly sliced open throat wound , him withholding information is bad but it honestly feels in character for him

8. Arturo, admittedly the one I’m the least sure about, most of his scenes this chapter are him obsessing over Mariabella Rosales’ daughter, however his secret was one of the most in danger of being revealed, Eden being alive is the biggest argument against him since his secret got out regardless. Similar to Rose in the way that someone who’s smart enough to be a plastic surgeon should be better at disposing of evidence and not revealing his near murder of Eden

7. Charles, the dark horse for this case from my viewpoint, he had an incredibly negative reaction to his secret being revealed by J, and this murder involved 0 blood which only he would have a reason to insure that there wouldn’t be. Breaking her neck is an odd choice when blunt force and stabbing would be more accessible, stabbing in particular if Veronika’s priming claims from the first trial come back up. He seems to have taken over the traditional sidekick role for Teruko which is concerning considering both him and Eden seem to be struggling for that spot.

6. Eden, certainly one of the more popular culprits, but I have pretty different reasons personally, the biggest knocks against her surviving for me is that there are some things she’s been involved in that haven’t been explained, her fear that someone’s been following her when she meets up Teruko in the dressing room only for items in that room to become relevant in the form of the starchy hall of clothes. She also has the biggest spike in screentime this chapter with her getting the opening scene. However she is on the small side, and I question if she’d be able to commit a murder, much less for a secret she didn’t really care about.

5. Veronika, surprisingly both higher and lower on this list before, her secret hasn’t been revealed which is a decent knock against her, however her fear of boredom seems like it’s setup for later. Then there’s the issue of her being the main user of the theater room which lies directly adjacent to the playground with MonoTV calling out how you’d basically just need to break through the wall, Ace & Arturo avoid it since Ace gets easily scared and Arturo would be dealing with Eden and his secret so she would have the opportunity. She was also one of the most affected by Min’s execution which makes you wonder if she’d really risk her life the same way.

4. Whit, the darker horse for killer choices, his secret hasn’t been revealed and he’s taken credit for one that Rose threw away, it’s fully possible he’s telling the truth just really questionable to wait until it cycles back to you. He spends a lot of time around Charles and has an alibi which for me is a worse sign, if we’re going for a sad execution then Whit would probably be the saddest for Charles who could break away from him and become closer to Teruko for story purposes.

3. J/Julia Rosales/Moreno, I’m worried for her mainly because I feel like she hasn’t done much yet, she’s in the opening description for the chapter, has questionably similar proportions to Arei, and most notably the whole “not all that glitters is good” hasn’t come into play yet. Her only big scene is Arturo revealing her secret. She’s definitely a wild card and a lot of the crime scene involving ropes, gripping tape, flooding the room feel like they’d be easier for an effects artist. She’s also more likely than most to be near Arei prior to her storming into Arturo & Eden’s conflict.

2. Hu, I’m not super concerned for her being the one that killed Arei, however that isn’t exactly the merit for how the killer is determined, it’s whoever is the “most mastermindy”. She’s scarily close to David and her blowup about “giving her heart to him” feels like a very out of place scene unless there’s more we don’t know about. With about half the remaining secrets involving self harm/suicide, it isn’t out of the question for me to see her helping David kill someone for the greater good, admittedly it’s harsh but she’s also seen Xander, Nico, and Min all engage in their own murder attempts, wouldn’t it be better to get ahead and not risk Eden ripping Whit’s heart out of his chest in the meantime, and just help David the “inspirational speaker” back into the world to help more people. I do doubt her for a few logistic reasons like the fish and potentially flooded room, but if she just came up with the plan she would be the blackened according to MonoTV

1.Levi, and my official killer pick, it’s obviously not my favorite choice but he’s had a large presence in this chapter, and has been involved in several scenes with Arei. Him having her secret is suspicious to me, Levi has shown an ability to mask his frustrations before suddenly snapping, as seen during the first trial against Ace. He’s definitely strong enough to have killed Arei with the method Arturo claims to have been used, the setup could be entirely designed to make it look like it doesn’t need to be someone physically strong. I also question if he’d be the kind of person that would believe Arei’s suddenly face turn into being a nice person. His increased presence in chapter 2, connection with Eden and Arei, unrevealed secret, and overall limited room for growth makes him the most likely killer candidate.

[oneatlatime]

More Zuko Alone Thoughts

Last season our expository Zuko episode was The Storm, an episode which I loved. It was both a well-written and well-animated piece of media, and enthralling to watch. I don't want to say enjoyable because of the subject matter discussed, but it was certainly good.

This season's expository Zuko episode was Zuko Alone, and I didn't like it. Although it was animated fantastically, I found the characterisation of Zuko in the present day sections to be completely off. I found it embarrassing, awkward, and frustrating to watch. Now, I've seen the rating this episode has on IMDb, so I know this is just my opinion, and a fairly unpopular one at that. I'm also aware that I'm biased because Zuko is not my favourite character. But I want to explore why, in my opinion, The Storm stuck the landing while Zuko Alone flubbed it.

Here's what I think is the main reason: The Storm is Aang's story about his past, juxtaposed with Iroh's story about Zuko's past. Aang and Iroh are our storytellers; Aang and Zuko are the stories being told.

Zuko Alone is Zuko's story of the present, being experienced through Zuko's perspective, juxtaposed with Zuko's story in the past, being experienced through Zuko's memories. It's too much Zuko, and unlike the characters in The Storm, Zuko has no idea what's going on.

Despite his flightiness and inability to take things seriously, Aang is perceptive, socially and emotionally intelligent (as much as a 12 year old can be), and able to be subtle when the situation calls for it. Look at The Great Divide: as soon as he had the appropriate backstory info, he saw right to the heart of the conflict, he saw that it was stupid as Hell, and he saw and successfully executed a way to fix it that relied entirely on an accurate assessment of all involved parties' stances. And it worked.

Iroh has easily the highest perception stat in the whole show, when he isn't being deliberately obtuse. His wisdom is off the charts, if his one liners are anything to go by.

So despite some very (very) notable differences, Aang and Iroh have similarities in their personalities and their perspectives, and importantly for this post, in their self-knowledge.

Then we get Zuko, who has the perceptiveness and subtlety of a mud brick to the teeth, all the wisdom of a bandaid wrapper, and the social and emotional intelligence of something that starts to grow in your sink when it's been too long since you did the dishes.

Aand and Iroh can see the themes, lessons, mistakes, and places for improvement in the stories they're telling, about themselves and others. Zuko is stumbling through both his past and his present. The Storm is compelling because the audience gets to simultaneously learn expository detail and watch Aang and Iroh go through a process of self-analysis, recrimination, and commitment to doing better. It's an info dump with a hefty dose of character building on the side.

Zuko in Zuko Alone is a dumbass blindly stumbling into the same mistakes we've already seen him make, learning nothing in the process (that I could detect - maybe he'll run into the family's older brother in a few episodes and work up the courage to save him based on what he learned during his time with that family, who knows). Zuko has been trained to be a fighter, not a person, so of course he's going to fail at the 'soft skills' parts of being human. So Zuko needs someone with him to do/model that soft skills work until he learns how to do it for himself. But Zuko is alone in Zuko Alone, so the character development that could have happened doesn't.

I don't need morals and themes explicitly spelled out in the narrative; I'm fine with subtext. But Zuko in Zuko Alone so thoroughly misses what's going on in the episode that it's annoying to watch. And there's no indication at the end of the episode that he's learned anything from having missed those things. There's no indication that he's aware that there was anything to miss.

In The Storm, Aang has Katara to bounce off of and help talk him through his story. Iroh's wise enough not to need a foil, but he does have the ship's crew, both as a reason to tell the story and as an audience to play off of. Heck, in Bato of the Water Tribe, Sokka has Bato giving the speech about the lonely wolf to help him understand the point Sokka's dad was trying to make in the flashback, and avoid the wrong course of action (leaving Aang behind). Aang moves on from self-recrimination and Iroh has won back Zuko's crew's loyalty at the end of The Storm; Sokka has finally understood 'being a man means being where you're needed the most' by the end of Bato of the Water Tribe. But Zuko is alone by choice in Zuko Alone, so he finishes the episode exactly where he started, his mother's last words entirely misinterpreted. No wiser, probably unable to even articulate where he went wrong beyond fire = bad in this context.

There seems to be a theme in this show of the necessity of friends and family networks and support. Aang (with Katara's help), Iroh (with the crew as audience and motivator), Sokka (with Bato's help), all come to better understandings of their responsibilities and/or their mistakes by working things out with the help of at least one other person. Zuko ditches Iroh to play at being a lone wolf and fails in a way that's frankly embarrassing to watch.

So the reason I don't like Zuko Alone is that he's doomed to fail from the start. Zuko is (trying to) go about his character development in a way this show has already showed us is opposite to how it should be done. I'm not fond of 'doomed from the start' narratives as a general rule, mostly because to me they feel like a bad investment. If you know it's all going to end badly (because it started wrong), then why bother committing the time and effort the narrative asks of you? (She says, having read The Silmarillion twice).

So if I became Queen of the world tomorrow and decreed that Zuko Alone needed to be changed to fit my personal tastes, how would I do it? The obvious answer is to shove Iroh in there, but it probably wouldn't work anyway, because Zuko is not showing any signs of being ready to listen - REALLY LISTEN - to those wiser than him. I'm not sure if he's even ready to admit yet that there are people who ARE wiser than him. He's already admitted that there are people with more martial prowess than him, like his sister, but I don't think Zuko actually values wisdom enough to see its worth. So it's probably not even on his radar. If Iroh's presence wouldn't work, what about having a removed narrator, like Iroh did for Zuko's story in The Storm? A narrator who is not as thoroughly blind to what's going on in the past and the present as Zuko. Maybe a single episode character, who tells the story of that time a stranger came to town? That might work. It would fit with the genre this episode is paying homage to. Or you could have an interesting juxtaposition, where the narrator character is not omniscient, narrating the present only, and Zuko is completely alone during the flashback bits. That would probably lead to Zuko making the same mistakes anyway, since it's really his past that he needs to work through.

Or maybe I'm reading way too much into this and I just don't like Zuko enough as a character to like a Zuko-centric story, no matter how it's told. Or maybe 24 minutes of second-hand embarrassment is 24 too many for me. At least he's keeping Song's horse bird fed.

[lokiondisneyplus]

Sophia Di Marto [sic] knows why the Marvel Studios breakout series “Loki” was so successful creatively. It was partially due to the casting. Much of it was in the writing and the direction, but mostly, it was about the dynamic between the title character, played by Tom Hiddleston, and Loki’s multiverse doppelganger, Sylvie, portrayed by Di Marto herself.

“Some of it’s in the writing, some of it’s in what Tom does, a little bit of it’s what I do, but that it’s how these two characters rub each other up the wrong way,” Di Marto says. “They’re so similar but so different. And I think that fine line between the two is what’s really entertaining to watch because they know exactly how to wind each other up. Sylvie knows exactly how to wind Loki up and audiences love watching Loki being wound up. So, it’s just really entertaining and that’s part of the chemistry because they sort of hate each other, but love each other and will always be connected now. So it is this really specific dynamic, which is a massive gift to be able to play with.”

Over the course of our conversation centered on season two, Di Marto reflects on whether Sylvie found peace at the end of season two, how the stunt choreography keeps her in shape, what new directors Justin Benson & Aaron Moorhead brought to the series, and much, much more.

____

The Playlist: First of all, I have to tell you, that even though it aired last fall, “Loki “is still one of my favorite programs from the past 12 months. I just thought it was so well done.

Sophia Di Martino: Thank you.

When you found out you were coming back for season two, did you have an idea already of where Sylvie’s arc was going to go?

No, I had absolutely no idea until I read the script and then I had to read the script like three times because it was quite confusing.

Did Eric Martin, who was the head writer, sort of sit you down and give you a heads up, this is where we’re going, this is how we see her?

I’m trying to remember exactly what happened. If anyone sat me down, I think Tom might have given me because an executive producer as well, so he’s more involved in the writing and all the behind-the-scenes stuff. I think he may have given me a little headline sort of idea of what the second series was about, but I didn’t really know what would happen until I read the scripts. And then as we’re shooting, it’s changing all the time as well. The main structure is the same, but it’s really a moving beast and a big collaboration. So we’re rewriting it all as we go with Eric.

After reading the initial scripts, did you at least think to yourself, “O.K., we’re going to get to a point at the end of the season where Sylvie is at least at peace?” Or do you think part of her is still out for some sort of revenge”

I dunno if she’s at peace at the end of series two. I don’t think she goes back to Oklahoma. I don’t think she tries to get that peaceful human life again. I think she’s on another adventure, but I dunno. I feel like she just keeps casting an eye over what’s happening with Loki and with Sylvie. I don’t think she’s ever going to be truly at peace. I think she’s a sort of natural-born fighter. I think she’s only ever truly herself when she’s fighting for something. So she’s perhaps gone to look for the next fight.

Do you think that’s the big difference between her and her alternate timeline version of Loki played by Tom? That’s the inherent difference because Loki doesn’t seem to always want to fight.

I don’t think he wants to fight, but he has something within him that’s unfinished and he’s always searching for his glorious purpose. And I think they’re both doing that in slightly different ways.

And I know every member of the media that you’ve spoken to has asked you this in some way, but have you been given any tea about whether Sylvie will continue looking for her glorious purpose down the road?

I have no idea. They’ve told me nothing.

Do you like that in a way?

Yeah, I mean, because if you can just get on with your life until you get a phone call that says you have to be somewhere at a certain point, do something. Yeah, it’s an exciting part of it.

Was there any scene or moment in particular where you were like, “O.K., this is a moment that I’m going to have to dig deep into. This is a tougher scene than maybe I might’ve expected this day”?

The scene that was most interesting to play was that moment in McDonald’s when Loki and Sylvie meet again for the first time. I don’t think there were hardly any lines in that scene. Maybe she says, “Are you going to order something or not?” And it is very sparse the dialogue, but there’s so much unsaid, there’s so much acting going on and they look at each other for the first time. And that was really, really cool to get to play that. It’s bumping into your ex for the first time.

And I’m guessing there is not a lot of rehearsal time correct? It was mostly working it out on the scene on set.

Oh yeah. Yeah. The only rehearsals that we got were some choreo or some fight stuff. Yeah, we didn’t get much rehearsing for the actual dialogue scenes, but I like it that way.

Do you feel like there’s more spontaneity?

For me? Yeah. I like to rely on my intuition and my spontaneity.

Well, I always heard that when you put good actors together should get good results. But this cast in particular had such great chemistry. Even in season one. Do you think that that was just luck? Is it just the talent of the actors?

I think it’s also the characterization. Some of it’s in the writing, some of it’s in what Tom does, a little bit of it’s in what I do, but that it’s how these two characters rub each other up the wrong way. They’re so similar but so different. And I think that fine line between the two is what’s really entertaining to watch because they know exactly how to wind each other up. Sylvie knows exactly how to wind Loki up and audiences love watching Loki being wound up. So, it’s just really entertaining and that’s part of the chemistry because they sort of hate each other, but love each other and will always be connected now. So it is this really specific dynamic, which is a massive gift to be able to play with.

I know you had stunt doubles for a lot of it, but you did do a lot of your own action choreography, correct?

Yeah, yeah. We learn it all and then they sort of swap it and change it when they need to make it look better.

Was it fun? Is that stressful as an actor to have to do that stuff compared to just regular scenes?

I love it. It was a really great opportunity for me. I mean, I was like three months postpartum on the first [season]. It was a great opportunity for me to get fit. I don’t go to the gym. I was the most unfit person when I started, so it really kicked my ass into gear. But I really enjoyed it. And it’s watching the finished product, it just makes you feel like an absolute badass, even though it’s not me. Some of it is not me. It feels great to be a part of it, and it really helps me get into character as well as Sylvie because she’s such a brawler. She loves fighting so much. I’ve realized that I do too. And I’ve carried on. I box a couple of times a week, and I really enjoy the feeling of being able to channel my aggression somewhere. And as a woman, I think it’s quite rare to be able to be given the opportunity to be able to be aggressive and I love it.

At least for season two, do you recall one sequence or set piece that was tougher than any of the others?

There was two of the fighting stuff. I’m trying to remember. The stuff on the Ferris wheel was quite tricky because the space was quite small and there were wires. We were doing wire work, so that was tricky. And a lot of it gets changed last minute. So, you learn the sequence and then they figure out how they’re going to shoot it, and then they realized you can’t do the sequence anymore, so you have to do a different sequence. And so a lot of it is learning choreo on the fly and changing it up and doing something different that works for the camera. So, that was challenging. And I remember I had to throw the TVA guidebook and I couldn’t get it in the right place. Things like that, take ages to try and do. In the first series, there’s a sequence where a knife lands right next to my face, and one of Loki’s daggers stands right next to my face. Little things like that take hours.

In the final episode, you have a great moment when Loki continues to go back to sort of the workroom area where you guys all keep getting killed again and again. And Sylvie sort of imparts on him one last time about what he needs to do. Do you remember that scene that I’m talking about?

Is it in Key’s workroom or the Key Lime Pie?

It’s the last time that we see that version of Sylvie. The spaghetti is coming to sort of wipe her away. It’s before he goes back and realizes that he has to go into the…

Oh, yeah.

I don’t know if you remember that scene, but it seems like such a rich moment for Sylvie. I was wondering, did those moments at least sit with you at all about how emotional Sylvie’s connection had become with Loki?

Yeah, definitely. And I think she’s the spokesperson in a way for his friendship group. It becomes a real ensemble by the end of series two. It’s not just Sylvie. He’s made quite a few friends and they’ve become almost like a little bit of a team and he’s watching each one of them disappear. And I think Sylvie’s the last one to be turned into spaghetti. And that’s the moment where he realizes he needs to figure out how to control this time slipping so he can change what’s happening because otherwise, he’s going to lose everyone.

The drop-off between season one and season two from Kate Heron to Justin Benson & Aaron Moorhead was almost non-existent. They certainly have their own directorial style, but the quality is just so good. Can you talk about what they’re like to work with as directors on set and what you thought they brought to the series?

They are so relaxed at times. I was like, “Why are you so relaxed? It’s making me feel nervous. Why are you so confidently cool and calm?” They just know exactly what they want and what they’re going to do. And they have their own style and they’ve done a bunch of indie films, so they’ve done their time and know how to do it, and they know how to work with each other so well. I dunno if it’s about something to do with being two of them so they can share their stress or something just so chilled out and so open and collaborative and funny and just so easy.

I know you recently wrapped “The Radleys” with Damian Lewis. It’s a horror vampire comedy, right? Can you talk about it at all?

Honestly, I dunno when it’s going to be released, but it’s a vampire movie about a family of vampires trying to live in suburbia and not drink blood.

And it’s funny. It’s hopefully funny.

Hopefully. Yeah.

[shunin-gumis]

As Master Joe Wishes - Track 06

Seasonal Team Event - L4mps

Location: Manor – Large Parlor

Joe: Oh my, tomorrow morning? This is the first I’m hearing of this.

Yodaka: Tomorrow morning… This really is short notice.

Samejima: Sorry about this. It’s not that we don’t trust you, but we were taking precautions against any information leak. As it is, we’re limiting the discussion of the situation with involved parties only.

Toi: Um… If the transfer has already been confirmed, does that mean our orders have changed as well…?

Samejima: I’m glad you’re quick on the uptake. As you guessed, the next 12 hours will be the most dangerous yet.

Samejima: Our troops are stationed in the gardens, as well as the surrounding houses, but– 

Samejima: As we are aiming to lure in the target to arrest them, we’ve decided to deploy only the bare minimum within the manor, so as to not arouse suspicion. That would include a couple of us from command, and all of you. 

Hiramei: If we pack too many folks in here, they’d figure us out immediately and get away… 

Ryui: Wha–

Ryui: (Ain’t no fuckin’ way, it’s way too dangerous. That said, might be worse if we try to get outta here now…) 

Samejima: I suppose it’d be too much to ask for you to spend the next 12 hours doing the same as usual… But of course, I hope you avoid doing anything dangerous. 

Ryui: (They’re aiming for that spoiled brat of a bear. If I can just keep Toi away from her, I should be able to protect him even if they come down on us…)

Nagi: In a development like this, they’re all but guaranteed to come to us.

Nagi: Maybe we should set up some traps to drive away the intruders, like in that one famous Christmas movie.*

Joe: Oh my~ What a splendid idea! I am quite fond of that film myself~

Toi: I love it too! Although, I do feel bad for the robbers at the end of it… 

Daniel: If yer gonna do it, make sure ya don’t half-ass it and have your allies end up in the cross-fire instead. 

Daniel: Anyways, I’m gonna go lie down. Back’s still sore and all. 

Yodaka: He’s got a point. While there’s some appeal to setting up classic traps, I’m worried about being unarmed against a group of thieves… 

Ryui: Oi, old man. Tell ‘em they oughta give us a proper guard, or at least give us somethin’ to protect ourselves with. 

Samejima: Hmm… Maybe I could get permission to get us some batons… 

Daniel: Batons… Well, better than nothin’ I guess. We don’t have much time, so you should—

Netaro: Ask and you shall receive~ ! Drumroll please! There is no need to worry your little heads~ A kawaii and cool arms dealer has arrived~ 

Netarobot: Yes indeedy we have weapons indeed~

Nagi: That scared me… weapons?

Netaro: Tada!

Ryui: T-This is… 

Yodaka: From handguns to rifles… There’s even a grenade launcher… These are all elaborately crafted airsoft guns, aren’t they?

Toi: So cool! Just like in an action movie…! Did you design all these yourself, Netaro-san?

Netaro: Roh’s the one who designed the exterior~

Yodaka: Oh? Sakujiro did?

Netaro: Remember when Ryui oh-so-cruelly rejected the servant clothing that Roh had designed? Well, he said we should at least have some weapons on us and came up with these designs one after the other! 

Yodaka: I see. Now that you’ve said it, I can tell these weapon designs were made in mind to match the butler and maid uniforms he had shared before… Put them together, and the design would leave a deep impression on a certain subgroup of people… 

Nagi: Could I use this one as a blunt weapon?

Netaro: Gii, if you mess with that, you’ll get blown away, along with the entire manor.

Nagi: Eh… 

Netaro: Roh may have designed the exterior, but the interior execution was done by yours truly~ They’re equipped to overkill any band of thieves (or anyone, really)!

Toi: So, they’re like the real deal? 

Netaro: I am an arms dealer after all~

Ryui, you can have this one.

Ryui: Woah, aight.

Daniel: –An assault rifle huh. A mid-ranged weapon that can be used in both offensive and defensive formations. From the looks of it, it’s semi-automatic too, perfect for beginners to use.

Netaro: I’ve adjusted the recoil so it won’t shatter Ryui’s shoulder. Once you’ve strapped on the ammo belt over both shoulders, you may shoot to your heart’s content like Ramboo!*

Ryui: Got it.

Netaro: This one’s for Toi!

Toi: W-woah! It looks really cool but, can someone like me even use it…? 

Daniel: Sniper rifles are long distance, meaning you won’t be targeted as easily. It’s plenty enough if you can just calmly assist your allies from out of sight.

Toi: I can protect Ani-sama with this!

Netaro: Gii gets hand grenades!

Nagi: Thank you… I don’t get a gun, huh. 

Daniel: The hand grenade is considered one of the most powerful weapons because it can reduce a wide area to ashes in an instant. Nagi doesn’t have much of a presence, and he’s real fast. Might be surprisingly suited for a vanguard. 

Nagi: I should be careful not to pull the pin on accident… 

Ryui: (Not sure if we should trust him with that thing… )

Netaro: Yoda can have this one~

Yodaka: A revolver, huh.

Yodaka: (Hm… How strange, feels like it fits right in my hands… )

Daniel: Revolvers are standard equipment for JPN police. Although the bullet count is limited, it’s the easiest to maneuver in close combat, right after the assault rifle. 

Nagi: Buchi-san, how come you know so much about these?

Daniel: … Who knows. 

Netaro: And finally, I get to have everyone’s favorite grenade launcher! The grenades come in seven different colors and seven different abilities and pop out one after the other for great efficiency~ That’s all!

Daniel: … What about me?

Nagi: You’ve got your muscles, Buchi-san.

Netaro: If you must have one, here.

Daniel: A magnum? 

Netaro: I considered scrapping this extra-large caliber gun since it would dislocate the shoulder of any of the other weaker-bodied humans but… Your dynamite muscular frame should be able to handle it no problem~

Samejima: Um, I’m technically still a police officer here, so seeing this blatant violation of the Firearm and Swords Control Law right in front of me is a bit… Well, I’ll still grant you permission, of course.

Hiramei: I’ve been recording the whole thing so, if push comes to shove, it’ll only be Samejima-san’s neck on the line!

Joe: Being middle management must be quite the difficult job indeed~

Samejima: Yeah... Please take me in if I get fired for this.

Samejima: With that being said… I’m sorry to ask this of you after all you’ve done to help already, but until the transfer is complete, please be–

Toi: Um, this is only a suggestion, but… Could we hold a farewell party for Joe-sama now?

Joe: Toi…!

Samejima: Be–

Toi: I’d like to make some more memories with Joe-sama! I can’t believe we’re parting in just 12 hours… 

Joe: Oh my, I am so very happy to hear you say that~!

Samejima: –Be on your guard and as we prepare a wonderful party.

Toi: Yay! It’s decided then!

Note:

The famous Christmas movie Nagi is referring to is the 1990 film Home Alone.

Ramboo is a reference to Rambo.

[edwinspaynes]

I want to ask you about those characters you have liked less, and you have commented on the blog, if you could change some stuff on their writing and on events that involve them to make them more likeable what would they be? I think yours are Lucie, Jesse, Gabriel and Cecily right? Like for example "make Jesse be resurrected in the beginning of chain of iron and develop more Grace and his relationship" , or "make Lucie hold less secrets from Cordelia".

Sure, I hope I'm understanding what you want correctly.

PSA: When I gush about how perfect I think TLH is I don't mean Ghostwriter. I never mean Ghostwriter. Their story is terribly executed. However, TLH is still perfect because I give 0 fucks about Ghostwriter, so their poor development and terrible relationship doesn't impact my reading experience in the slightest <3

Lucie and Jesse

Lucie would basically just need to get her head out of the sand. I find her annoying primarily because all the other TLH characters act 25 and she acts like a spoiled 12 year old.

She starts the series with her head completely in the clouds, dreaming of silly fairy tales, and ends it in exactly the same place. Zero growth. And why would there be any? Everything that happens in her TLH plotline, what with getting a ramifications-free ghost boyfriend, reinforces that life is a fairy tale that she can twiddle her thumbs and dance through.

I think that this is what's disappointing about Lucie. She's fine at the beginning of ChoG because that's where her arc begins, but the problem is that she ends it as the same silly girl she started it while most other characters around her grow a lot.

I also think that Lucie would benefit from, like, just generally being less selfish. There was no reason for her to endanger Cordelia by not telling her about the Creepy Ghosts at their prospective parabatai ceremony. So, yeah.

As for Jesse, dude, I don't even know where to start. Get this man a personality, please, or at least a semblance of one. I genuinely believe that perhaps Cassie purposely made him a flavorless cardboard cutout so that teenagers reading could project their ghost-fairytale fantasy man onto him.

The main thing for Jesse, though, is that he needed to be less of a shithole to Grace. He was just so fucking godawful to her in Chain of Thorns that everything else about him (which isn't much to start with) pales in comparison. I hope she never talks to him again.

An aside --

I have a whole Ghostwriter plot idea that I think would have made Lucie's story really layered, but Jesse would actually die in it (thus forcing Lucie to show actual growth). Basically, everything would be the same until the end of ChoI, when Lucie would fail to bring Jesse back to life and realize then that her power was gone. She then would no longer be able to see his ghost. No more Jesse. Lucie would need to confront her happy-go-lucky-lalala-life-is-but-a-dream attitude and would therefore need to actually grow tf up. Lucie and Grace console each other and become close friends. They also both lost their love interests (I'm changing nothing else about TLH in this world, only Blackdale stuff), and both girls' happy ending lies in that friendship.

I loathe character death and I almost always hate tragedy, so you know shit's bad when I'm saying this. But Jesse's not an actual human; he's just a plot device! So maybe we should use that plot device in the best possible way if we're not going to make him a layered character :)

Gabriel and Cecily

I don't think about these two nearly as much as Ghostwriter, who I contemplate sometimes because I'm a TLH girlie.

I also don't find Gabriel or Cecily anywhere near as annoying as Lucie or Jesse. I don't care for them, but I also don't really hate them or even dislike them.

In Cecily's case, there's not really anything I'd change or even would want to change. I liked her a lot when I was 18 and the annoyance has built up steadily over time. Now I'm 27 and just view her as an annoying teenager. There's nothing wrong with her, but she reads young (I staunchly consider almost every TID character to read 20ish and every TLH character to read mid-20s. Cecily and Lucie are exceptions). I also don't want her gone, she contributes to the story and has her Moments.

Gabriel just is imo kind of off-putting to everyone besides Cecily and occasionally Gideon, and I just personally am not a big fan of him. But unlike Lucie or Jesse, he's a complex character with an interesting plotline and a tangible personality. He grows. He just didn't resonate with me. I will, however, say that there are a few moments where I want to give him a hug, because damn that kid got hit over the head with a ton of trauma baseball bats in a row.

Basically, in the end, Lucie and Jesse are characters I think are poorly-written and badly developed. Gabriel and Cecily are fine characters with good enough development, they just don't resonate with me through no fault of their own and that's okay.

[love-fireflysong]

Well howdy there! Sorry about missing last week, but I had run into a problem I like to call 'the idea is good but my execution and writing of it is fucking dogshit holy crap (and thus maybe the idea is not so good after all)' the last couple of weeks 😣 So I had not been writing the next part of OCTCRCBC like I should have been lol. So I spent the last couple of hours today trying to salvage what I had by starting to completely rewrite everything I had written down already into a very different story structure than I had started with. Thankfully it seems to have helped a bit and I'm a substantially more happy with what I have now then I did previously! Small victories!

Anyways, here's a little something from that new bit I worked on!

Looking back, Ashley would not have been able to tell you what the dream was even about. Only that she remembers not being thrilled to be awakened from whatever it had been by her phone ringing. Fumbling for the loudly ringing and vibrating piece of tech on her bedside table as she groaned, wondering who the hell would even be calling at this time of the morning. Especially on a school day. Her alarm hadn't even gone off yet, and according to the time wouldn't be going off for another three hours or so! So the almost tinny sound of Josh's voice that replied when she answered with a bleary and confused hello did not improve her mood in the slightest. "Oh fuck, were you still sleeping?" "I mean not anymore thanks to you, you dick," she mumbled out as she did her best to sink deeper under her covers. "What in the world could possibly be so important that you needed to call me this early?" The pause on the other ends make Ashley think for just a moment that the call has dropped or that Josh realized just how much of a dick he was being calling her at almost four in the morning, but it's a false hope. "Early? What the fuck are you—wait. Oh fuck. Ash, you don't even know what time it is, do you?" Ashley is ready to shoot back that if anyone doesn't know what time it is it's clearly him, but then her brain seemingly finally starts to join her in this unwanted realm of wakefulness. Remembering that in all her years of knowing Josh (all three of them at this point), that he has never once woken up before her. That so many late nights spent binging horror movie after horror movie means that if he wouldn't be moving until well past noon if he could help it. And that while the bright red numbers on her alarm clock do spell out 3:52 AM, the fact that they keep blinking in and out at her at a consistent rate is cluing her in that maybe it's not quite as early as she thinks it is.

And as a surprise bonus: I started up sewing again! 🥳🥳🥳🥳 Dropped it like a year ago (not long after I moved to my apartment in fact) and I couldn't even tell you why. But I for one am glad to have finally picked it up again! (Even if it means that every one who sees these updates will now hate me again asdkljaskldsadlj) Anyways, here's what the a combined ~12 hours of sewing looks like. Got all the black background done so you can *sorta* see the outlines on some of the critters on this page (bonus points to anyone who can actually tell what any of them are even gonna be, the already coloured ones on the borders don't count lol)!

[littleragondin]

After Sundown (2023)

Synopsis:

Saengrawee has spent his life in the temple with Luang Lung Chanthakorn. When he turns 21, Parit – an old friend of the monk – comes to take him away, to live in Phra Nahkon with Parit’s family. As he settles in the mansion, Rawee starts getting plagued with nightmares, and visions of a ghost. Parit’s grandson, Praphloeng, comes back to Thailand at his parents’ demand. They worry about a prophecy who warns that if Phloeng does not bind his life to a soulmate by the time he turns 25, his life will be in grave danger. Said soulmate can’t be from Phra Nahkon, nor be a woman (according to mdl). Luckily, Rawee fits the bill, and despite their mutual dislike, the two men accept the ceremony. But while they learn to live with each other, and Phloeng’s presence is able to soothe Rawee’s nightmares, the ghost’s apparent grudge against Rawee only seems to deepen …

this shot is just too pretty

Non-spoilery review:

It was not a very good movie, all in all. I think it worked with a lot of ideas that, while not necessarily groundbreaking, were good enough to make a nice romance and an interesting horror story. The reluctant soulmates/fake marriage tropes are beloved for a reason, and can make for a compelling journey. The newcomer in the house mysteriously targeted by a ghost that seems to know him is also pretty classic, and when used well can be ground for a good, creepy mystery. The problem here is that imo, the execution was sub-par.

To begin with, the horror is not well integrated to the story. While I liked all the ghost scenes – tense and efficient, and in 720p at night the ghost freaked me the fuck out let me tell you – they were not well integrated into the story. Outside of those specific scenes, there is no sense of something terrifying happening to the main protagonist of the story, he doesn’t seem worried not curious about any of it, focused as he is on his romance.

And that’s where for me, it went from ‘not great’ to ‘not good’. Because with how much time is spent on the romantic parts of the story, I still can’t believe how little development happens. They are reluctant to even be in the same room a moment, and straight up acting like a married couple the next with absolutely nothing to justify this. Zee and NuNew share a lot of soft, romantic scenes, but they felt disconnected from each other, and because there is no showing of their feelings gradually changing those scenes, for me, lacked any emotional impact. That said, the two of them work well together, and the chemistry was chemistring alright when they were on screen. Still, with characters that don’t have a big personality and a scenario that has trouble holding itself together, there is only so much chemistry can do.

So yeah, for me After Sundown failed both as a horror and as a romance movie. I had no emotional investment in anything happening (which also made the reveal/conclusion at the end fall flat), the pacing was not good and actor performances alone (which were mostly good across the board) could not save this one.

Tl;dr: I gave this one 5/10. I would only recommend it if you really really really miss Zee and NuNew and just want to see them act cute with each other while not being bothered by the absence of actual story and the presence of a few good jump scares. Also if you just want to see Nammon wet and shirtless, just skip to 1:12:00 =3

Below the read more, I will go a little more into the reveal at the end, as well as a few pet peeves I got through the movie. It will be full of spoilers.

The reveal about the ghost:

I hated how we got nothing about the ghost during the whole movie except that she thought Rawee was someone else (the monk/his uncle) and wanted to kill him for it, and then 20 minutes before the end you get that huge, 10-minutes long info dumping flashback explaining who she is, what her relation to both the family and Rawee’s uncle is, how she died and why she is so vengeful. My first thought was ‘that’s a movie I would have liked to see’, followed by tons of ideas on how it could have been, you know, actually made part of the movie and not just stacked at the end like an after thought. 1 hour 20 minutes in, and you have no notion that there was a tragedy in that house, that Parit has A Mysterious Past regarding his sppuse, or that the ghost is actually linked to the family in any kind of way. It’s fine if you don’t want the protagonist to find out until the very end, but there should be stuffs to clue us, the audience, in, otherwise the reveal comes and you’re like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ okay I guess. Show us a picture of her in the house, maybe hidden away so we know Something Is Afoot, have some of those final flashbacks interwoven into Rawee’s nightmares (maybe make it so they’re misleading, showing her under a different light). Make the scene where Parit comes to the temple and meet the monk, after all those years, far, far more charged so I can feel that they’re not just old acquaintances but share something so much deeper. That they share both love and guilt. Just mention the fact that Phloeng's father never really knew his mother, that she died when he was small and I don't know, maybe they Don't Talk About Her Anymore. Give me something basically.

Also, at least Parit and Luang Lung Chanthakorn were aware of what was happening/who she was, and no one ever thought of, oh, I don’t know, do something about it? Warn the guys?? Why on earth did the monk say yes to sending Rawee back there knowing what the fuck happened in there and the responsibility he had in it? Come on.

Smaller things and Pet Peeves:

Ok this one is just for, like, random grievances I had with the movie.

First of all, Rawee’s lack of curiosity. You don’t have to make him an amateur detective, but that guy who grew up in a temple (so I assume at least a little spiritual) starts having nightmares and visions and doesn’t question it for a second? Doesn’t think oh, maybe there is something going on, maybe if I find out what the spirit wants and why, I could get rid of it? Nothing? I know my own curiosity is probably skewing my opinion but I wanted to shake him and beg him to ask even one goddamn question! Please!!

The “secondary couple”. Okay, so, this one ties up more to the romance aspect of things. We set up Pudson to be a sort of rival to Rawee, the spurned, jealous boy who hates the one who took Phloeng away, but there is never… I mean I’m pretty sure we never see him and Phloeng in a scene together, even, and all of this amount to nothing. Never actually hurts Rawee, never confronts him or tries to actually get Phloeng, this never leads to any tensions between Rawee and Phloeng… Then Kraiphop, the chauffeur, who is being so nice to Rawee and who makes Phloeng jealous once. Less of an actual rival to Phloeng, he’s presented more like a kind man who might help Phloeng realizes that he actually like Rawee. But the jealousy scene happens after we have seen them basically act chummy and nice to each other so it doesn’t work either. And then!! 35 minutes before the end, we get thrown a bone that oh maybe Kraiphop actually kinda likes Pudson, who may fall too, but that’s so brief, and then completely left hanging, I don’t see the point of having those characters. And I say that when it gives us Nammon shirtless and wet, so you can imagine…

Finally, and those are both the smallest and the most annoying of all (alright I might push it a little). That single voiceover we have maybe a third in?? There is that breakfast moment where Rawee’s voice says something along the line of ‘uh, since I sleep by Phloeng’s side the nightmares are gone and then there is never EVER another voiceover during the whole movie? Could you not have found another way to show not tell this? This irked me so bad lol

And then, MDL tells me it’s supposed to happen in 1961, and while the (very cool) car Phloeng rides seems to agree, the rest of the aesthetic screams Khun Chai to me (not just because it’s the same house I swear) which is 1942-something so like … two decades earlier. It’s not a lot but it added some confusion post viewing I guess.

[snowdice]

Little Kestrel (Part 54) [Birds of Different Feathers Series]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan & Patton & Virgil (future Virgil/Patton but not in this story)

Characters:

Main: Logan, Patton, Virgil

Appear: Thomas

Mentioned: Janus

Summary:

It was supposed to be a quick job either way. Either Virgil would assassinate King Thomas of Prijaznia or he’d be caught and get executed. Yet, when Virgil gets the wrong bedroom and gets caught by Prince Logan and his future royal advisor, Patton, the job ends up getting way more complicated for the 14-year-old. He also ends up sleeping in a (actually pretty comfortable) closet for a few weeks…

Notes: Implied/referenced child abuse, assassination attempt, knives, torture mentioned, captivity, teenagers being really dumb, sexual coercion of minors implied, a minor offering sexual favors

This is a prequel to Kill Dear. I wrote it 100 words at a time on my blog, but this is the edited version. If you want to see how it was crafted (and possibly some future content), look at the tag proofread stories.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53

“I still can’t believe he’s allowing this,” King Thomas said from next to Patton. The two of them were standing at the edge of the arena outside the horse stable, watching from a safe distance.

“If he hadn’t tried to bite me earlier, I’d think he was a different horse,” Patton agreed.

“He doesn’t even let Logan ride him,” the king said. “At least not ride him and give him directions.”

Patton was very aware of that. Logan did on occasion choose to get up onto Mr. Apples’ saddle. However, Mr. Apples was always the once who got to decide where they went after that. Logan had no say.

With that in mind, Patton, Logan, and every stable hand who’d heard about the prospective riding lessons had tried to convince Virgil to learn to ride on a different horse. Virgil was just as stubborn as Mr. Apples however and had insisted. Logan, being the only one who could be around Mr. Apples without risking being kicked, had become his de facto tutor.

Not even Logan could have expected that within a week, Virgil would be able to control Mr. Apples. Though perhaps ‘control’ was the wrong word. Nothing could control Mr. Apples, but for some reason, Mr. Apples seemed willing to do as Virgil asked.

Even right now Mr. Apples was trotting around the training arena like he was a well-trained trick horse warming up with his rider.

“Logan told him we could go on an actual ride today if the lesson went well,” Patton told the king. The lesson seemed to be just getting over because Logan said something to Virgil and Virgil started to climb off. Mr. Apples was patient and still as he dismounted.

“Do you think he’d mind if I went with you?” King Thomas asked.

Patton shrugged. “Mr. Apples might.”

“Mr. Apples definitely will,” the king replied. “I’ll come anyway.”

Logan had walked over to where Patton and the king were standing while Virgil fed Mr. Apples some apple pieces as a reward.

“I hear you’re going to go riding today,” King Thomas said.

Logan nodded. “Mr. Apples seems to listen to him well enough,” he said.

“I might join you if that’s alright. Where are you kids going?” the king asked.

“I was thinking the main forest path,” Logan replied. “It’s not a particularly difficult route, but it’s also a part of the castle grounds Virgil hasn’t been able to see yet. Loraine told me it has been recently cleared after the winter.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” the king said. “Are you going now?”

“Once Patton and I saddle up our horses,” Logan said. “You can come.”

“Great,” the king said with a smile. “I’ll ask for Bella’s saddle to be brought out. I haven’t gone on a ride yet this week.”

He turned then to walk towards the stables leaving Patton and Logan alone.

“Do you think he’s been acting weird?” Logan asked, turning towards Patton.

Patton frowned. “No,” he said. “Not really.”

“I’m just wondering why he wants to go horseback riding with us.”

“He likes spending time with you?” Patton guessed.

“Yes,” Logan said, “but typically in a setting that doesn’t involve Mr. Apples.”

Well, that was fair.

“I mean, it’s not too weird,” Patton said, thinking back through the last couple of days. King Thomas had been a bit… clingy.

“He’s been hanging around a lot,” Logan said, echoing Patton’s thoughts with narrowed eyes. He glanced back at Virgil. “You don’t think Virgil let something slip, do you?”

“He didn’t say anything,” Patton said. “I think your dad would say something if Virgil let slip he was an assassin somehow.”

“Unless he let slip something that didn’t quite implicate himself but invited suspicion.”

“Your dad doesn’t seem suspicious,” Patton said. At least, Patton didn’t think he did. He hadn’t been acting mean in any way. In fact, he might have even been acting nicer.

Logan frowned. “We should keep an eye on him, especially around Virgil.”

Patton bit his lip.

“What?” Logan asked.

“Are we ever going to tell your dad about Virgil?” he asked.

Logan hesitated. “I don’t…” he trailed. “I’m not sure.”

“It just feels weird lying for so long,” Patton said. Patton didn’t lie a lot. Sure, maybe he’d pretend to not know what Mama was talking about when sweets went missing from the kitchens or he’d pretend to not know what Logan’s birthday gift was, but he’d never lied about anything serious before now.

“I know, but,” Logan glanced back at Virgil once again, “even if we did decide to tell, we’d have to convince Virgil everything would be alright beforehand. I don’t think we’re at that point yet. He was terrified of Father until a few months ago, and he’s still cautious around him sometimes.”

Logan was right, of course. Virgil was getting more and more comfortable around the king, but he figured any of the progress made would go down the drain as soon as they brought up telling King Thomas about where exactly Virgil had come from. Patton didn’t know if Virgil would ever be comfortable enough.

“We should go get our own horses,” Logan suggested, and Patton nodded.

Patton and Logan’s horses had already been saddled by the stable hands in anticipation of their ride and it didn’t take long for the king to saddle his own horse, Bella.

The forest path at this time of year was very pretty, Patton thought. The tree branches now had small green leaves on them after having been barren for the entire winter and flowers were starting to grow. In a few weeks’ time it would be even prettier, but it would also be harder for the groundskeeper to maintain it as well as it was right now.

Virgil really did seem less anxious around King Thomas now. The path was only wide enough for two horses to go at once, and he didn’t seem to mind that he and the king ended up next to each other while Patton and Logan lagged behind. In fact, he and the king seemed to be having a nice conversation about the local wildlife.

However, if Patton looked close enough, he did sort of see what Logan meant. Virgil may not be anxious talking to the king now, but the king himself seemed just a little bit nervous at least at the beginning of the ride.

He seemed to relax a bit as they rode (even laughing when Mr. Apples tried to bite him when he got too close).

Logan had been teaching Virgil the basics about things like animals, but there was still a pretty big gap in his education when it came to anything that wasn’t about training to fight and kill. King Thomas seemed more than willing to answer any of his questions when it came to the animals and plants around them even if they were sometimes a bit silly.

He’d seen a bird that looked like a dove. (It may have even been a dove, but Patton hadn’t seen it.) This had been a source of endless confusion for him.

“But shouldn’t it live in the dovecote?” Virgil asked.

“Not all birds live in a dovecote,” the king explained again.

“But it’s a dove,” Virgil said with a frown.

“Not all doves live in a dovecote,” the king replied.

“But it’s a dovecote,” Virgil argued. “It’s for the doves.”

“Yes, but there are also wild doves,” the king said.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Virgil replied.

“What about it doesn’t make sense?” the king asked with a laugh in his tone.

“Doves go in the dovecote,” Virgil said.

Patton was starting to have trouble following this argument.

“Dovecotes are made for doves,” the king said, “but not all doves go in dovecotes.”

“Why?”

This seemed to stump the king momentarily, but he still answered after thinking for a bit. “Doves existed before people got to them,” the king explained. “People caught and trained some of them, but there was no way to catch all of them. So, some stayed in the wild and continued with their lives like they had been before humans. Plus, sometimes domesticated doves fly off and never come back. Sometimes they might die, but other times they may have just gotten lost and had to build a new life somewhere far away. Or maybe they even decided that being a trained dove working for humans wasn’t for them, so they decided to go off on their own.”

“You let them do that?” Virgil asked.

“We can’t really stop them in the end,” the king said. “People can try, but it never ends up working as long as they can fly.”

Virgil thought about this. “I still don’t understand,” he said, “but okay.”

“We should take you to the cliffs,” the king suggested.

“What are the cliffs?”

“The castle grounds were built for defense,” King Thomas explained. “The edge of the grounds to the North is a large river and overlooking it is a huge cliff. It’s a good place for picnics and for birdwatching. It’s a bit of a trip, but now would be a good time of year to go.”

He glanced over his shoulder back at Logan and Patton. “What do you boys think about going to the cliffs sometime? Maybe in about a week?”

Logan squinted at his father suspiciously. It wasn’t so much the fact that the king was asking them to go to the cliffs. They did that every so often. However, this time, it only supported Logan’s claims that the king was hanging out with them a lot recently.

“Sure,” Logan said, after a moment.

“Sounds fun!” Patton said cheerily right after, trying to cover for the lack of enthusiasm in Logan’s voice with his own. Judging by King Thomas’s expression and Logan’s tight-lipped scowl, he may have overcompensated.

“Great,” the king said. “I’ll make sure to make arrangements when we get back to the castle.”

[missathlete31]

Dead on Your Feet Chapter 12- Sneak Peak

It's no secret that I haven't been able to write anything new in months. My mind keeps coming up with ideas but then I try to execute them and it's just painful to reread. I've gotten more inspired lately, especially thanks to some of the amazing people on here who have been so encouraging (looking at you @seresimp!!!!) and I broke through some mental barriers to produce this first part of Chapter 12. Hoping for some feedback to fuel me through!! Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story for your patience! I hope this sounds a little like the writer I used to be.

Masterlist for anyone that needs to refresh their memories because it's been like six months since I last posted

The ascent towards the helicopter is meant to be the end of this whole nightmare for Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell. His pilots have been found, have already risen to the sanctity of the bird hovering in the sky and now it is only left to him to be pulled to safety before they can all head home. Pete leaves the cold ocean waves ready to feel victorious, to feel as though he finally has succeeded and achieved the final miracle of the day, getting everyone home alive.

But once more he is struck down.

The second Maverick hauls himself into the rescue helicopter, all he recognizes is chaos. Gone is the hushed silence from outside, replaced with the panic-stricken energy of multiple bodies crammed into a tight space and fighting for purchase. Pete’s eyes naturally train on Rooster first, his gaze widening as he sees a young man pulling his Lieutenant back with a harsh grip. Mav moves to intervene, to scream over the hysterical bellowing issuing from Bradshaw’s mouth, and ask what the hell is going on, but before he can Pete gets a clear view of Jake Seresin on the floor of the aircraft, spread eagle and unmoving, as a middle aged Hispanic man pounds heavily on the blonde’s sternum.

Maverick knows logically that the man above Seresin is some sort of doctor, he can tell just from the uniform alone. However doctor or not, the sight of this man pumping harshly on Jake’s chest makes the older pilot need to look away in fear he might intercede. A protectiveness rises within Pete, unwavering in its ferocity at the unnatural sight before him; a bruised and bloody Hangman being pounded into the floor as a means of saving his life.

Because Seresin isn’t breathing.

The grimace from the rescue diver makes a lot more sense now.

Bradley's screams still ring out in the air around them, each one more and more blood curdling. He is being restrained by someone similar in size to the 6 foot Bradshaw and yet Rooster continues to hurl his exhausted and water logged body towards his wingman relentlessly. He roars over all the other noise around them, his temper on full display. It's been over a decade since Maverick has seen it in all its fury but he remembers how the younger Bradshaw can wield his anger like the deadliest sword. His visceral emotions striking like perfect daggers each and every time. Pete knows he needs to control it, to distract Rooster so that the man holding him back can get the rescue swimmer back up and they can make their way back to the ship, but the older pilot is shocked still; his senses all but burnt out at the overwhelming assault of the environment around him.

"Captain" a voice snaps, and Pete turns to see the doctor, the name Sosa stitched onto his chest, still pumping furiously. Maverick can make out the beginnings of a bruise reddening the other man's cheek, no doubt caused from a blow to the face by Bradley's fist before the aviator was properly subdued. "Captain" the man speaks up again, "I need you to control your pilot."

"I-" Maverick gapes helplessly, as though he is being asked to do the impossible; and maybe he is. There might have been a time when he could calm Bradley Bradshaw down with a quick word or a tight hug, when he would snuggle with the little boy who was scared of thunder, or lecture the kid who rode his bike too far down the street. That kid doesn't exist anymore, or perhaps the Maverick that could do all those things is really the one who's gone; either way Pete Mitchell is as helpless to the lashes of Bradley Bradshaw's ire as anyone else.

"Captain" the tone is desperate, exhausted, as still Doctor Sosa thrusts his hands powerfully down on Hangman's chest cavity in an effort to bring life back into the kid's heart. "We need to get that diver up now” he explains, “this Lieutenant needs more help than I can give in this bird, we have to get back to the ship. Now please-" a firmness laces his words, a command coming from a man who knows how this story is going to end unless something changes soon, "control your man."

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #66

Today's letter is maybe a little early, I know. But my mind is all abuzz with various things. In light of the realizations I've been having, it has occurred to me: though I am skilled at taking care of everyone in my general vicinity, I have no idea what taking care of myself really looks like, outside of a purely theoretical sense. And theory alone is difficult to follow through on.

So, whenever I try to imagine whatever it is that I might want and need at any given moment, my mind typically comes up with a big huge blank. If you asked me what I want right now, or what I need right now, I wouldn't be able to tell you. Most likely, I'd just stare at you, utterly baffled and looking stupid as I keep opening and closing my mouth, trying to come up with an answer and receiving only what effectively amounts to static noises and TV snow:

There are a lot of reasons for this. First of all, I've been trained to basically discount my own needs; saying that I'm hungry or thirsty or sleepy, for example, was a great way to get screamed at or smacked around in days past, so my mind has had to learn how to automatically ignore most sensations of discomfort that my body is trying to tell me, before I even consciously perceive that the discomfort is there. Especially if I'm focused on some task, I typically don't realize I'm hungry, thirsty, tired, or in pain until someone else tells me I'm being a crabbypants. My sense of interoception is very poor, and I'm not sure if that's the autism or the fact that I've had to learn from an early age to dissociate even from extreme stimuli.

Even for the pain from the rib injury, too; in an effort to protect itself from those who would get violent with me if I complained about pain or was slowed down from pain in any way (these people no longer exist in my life, and yet…), my mind automatically pushes the brunt of it out of my conscious perception (even though I no longer want it to do this; I'm working on it…), and what I'm left with is a sensation that's not… exactly pain as much as it is kind of a vague, dull, heavy cloud of general and poorly-defined unpleasantness that has settled itself into the upper right quadrant of my torso. And while this is an amazing skill to have (even if the price to get it was steep) because it allows me to mostly function through it, this also comes at a significant and ongoing energy cost; dissociation doesn't come cheap.

…So that's an obstacle between me and the whole "self-care" and "treating oneself gently" thing. Other obstacles include fun stuff like executive dysfunction (starting tasks is hard even if they're fun; stopping tasks is hard even if I hate them, and being reliably able to plan and prioritize multi-step tasks effectively is nothing but a distant fantasy for me) and impaired object permanence (this is why I forget that there are vegetables in the crisper drawer of the fridge until they start to smell weird). Then there's the rib injury itself, which limits my mobility and ability to do things in a given day, and the fact that my body does not tell me that I've done too much until it's too late (combination of dyspraxia and poor interoception), and then I gotta spend the next day paying for it.

Caffeine helps a little with the executive dysfunction, but it also makes me more prone to getting flashbacks, so I have to be very careful about how I use it. But I'm often not careful about how I use it, because I want to function. So by the end of all this, the general flow of my life looks kinda like this:

…And it's only taken me like 12 years, but I'm FINALLY starting to actually realize that this is very much NOT sustainable. I'm a squishy mammal, not a machine. And I can't exactly be hanging out over here, imploring you to take care of yourself while I'm over here being kind of a dumpster fire, right? Something about rocks and glass houses. So something has to change. But I'm not exactly sure what yet.

On Tuesday, my therapist asked me to chew on the question of "What does taking care of a Lumine actually look like?" And so far, all I've come up with is a list of obstacles that stand in the way. But it's better than the nothing that I had previously, right? I can build from something that is not a nothing; I can work with that.

One of the things I think I need in order to not feel overwhelmed is "not clutter". But we are a neurodivergent house, and all three of us tend to set things down in weird places and then immediately forget that they exist. Today, in an attempt to try to remedy this, one of the things I came up with (don't laugh at me too hard for this) is to try to treat my house as though it's yours and we're just watching over it and waiting for you to come back home (silly, impossible, and ridiculous for a variety of reasons, I know; but hey, whatever keeps me motivated, right?).

I don't know how sustainable this will be in the long term (for a variety of obvious reasons), but I suppose the process of trying to learn how to keep myself motivated to tend to myself and my space properly will involve me making a lot of mistakes along the way to try to figure out what works and what doesn't. Better to start from shaky ground than from no ground at all, and to try to build a solid foundation from there.

Another thing I came up with is to try to be alert and mindful about myself in the same way that I am alert and mindful about the people I care about in my immediate vicinity. To be fair, this "alertness" and "mindfulness" comes about as a result of the hypervigilance that the C-PTSD leaves me with, but I wonder if I can learn to take a more wholesome approach to it, and then learn to turn that lens inward upon myself in a more merciful fashion than I have in the past. I don't really know what this will look like yet, but maybe I can start by setting an alarm to check in with myself at least once an hour.

I'm tired of it being the case that I either break myself from not doing enough for myself, or break myself from trying to do too much in one sitting. In service to the goal that is trying to build a routine that isn't unreasonable in light of my limitations, I'm going to try to set hard limits on how many things I do in a given day. So for example, maybe I'll wash 10 dishes. Maybe I'll fold 10 clothing items. Maybe I'll vacuum one room. And even if I can "technically" do more, maybe I'll just leave it at that, because doing any of these for any amount of time causes a lot of pain in the affected side of my body.

Up until now, I've swung wildly between "doing nothing" and "doing all of it at once", and… this doesn't work. So I think I might have to try to start small by building a very gentle routine (the ADHD despises routine, while the autism desperately craves the structure, so this is a fun dynamic to have to try to play with…) and adding to it as I grow accustomed and comfortable. I think it's time to work with my neurotype and physical composition instead of punishing myself for the fact that neither of these things exist in a way that's considered "normal".

I might ask my friends for ideas, too; when the task at hand is difficult, you're supposed to ask for help. Humans are social creatures (yes, even if developmental trauma can sometimes make people think like they're "born solitary"). Maybe they'll have some ideas about what I can do, and about what proper self-care ought to look like; it'll be educational. To be sure, I have no idea what I'm doing, and there's a lot that I don't know.

But I'm going to try to blaze the path forward anyway and write down what I learn along the way, so that when you decide you're ready, you won't have to start from scratch; I don't know what good any of this will do, but I would almost rather stop breathing permanently than see you get cut down again, so I have to try something. Anything. Even if it means I gotta do something I'm terrified of doing (like acting as though I'm worth my own effort and compassion) in order to model for you how it's done.

In the meantime, while I'm trying to figure all this stuff out, I've done a few things around the house and poured myself a lovely cup of the biscuit tea (I know I said before that it's unremarkable, but it's growing on me nonetheless). I'll share with you a few of today's highlights, just on the off-chance that any of it might give you even a small reason to smile today.

Here is the biscuit tea I made for myself, before and after stirring:

Here is some salmon, before and after steaming. It's important to get your omega-3s while trying to build new neural connections.

Here is some rice, before and after cooking. Remember the jar of rendered chicken juices from my 64th letter to you? That was used to make this rice.

Sliced fresh carrots, steamed as the rice cooked:

Here's the balanced and wholesome meal that I made out of all this. I wish more than anything that I could hand you a bowl filled with these same contents.

And here's a freshly-made bed! Bubbles, my giant lovely orca plush, is having a marvelous time chilling out on a bed that has THREE blankets on it!! I'm gonna be so warm and toasty when I go to sleep!! It's gonna be great!!

You deserve all these things. You deserve a good tea, a wholesome, balanced, delicious meal, and a toasty, comfy bed all to yourself, where you can feel safe. Because all humans deserve these things; you're not an exception. So I'm gonna keep trying to help you. I'm gonna keep trying to call you back to yourself so you can build for yourself a life in which you can have this. I'm gonna keep trying because I love you in the same way that anyone loves a friend, and because there's lots of other people who love you, too.

We don't wanna see any more bad things happen to you, but really, only you have the power to make the kinds of choices that will lead you to peace and safety; all we can do is try to encourage you and cheer you on from here. I'll pray to every deity in my world that you might hear us and turn yourself around. So make good choices. Take care of yourself. Don't go so far away that the light of all the things that are beautiful and good cannot reach you. Sephiroth... please?

I'll write again tomorrow. I will always make the time to write to you, regardless of what I'm doing and no matter how tired I am. I'll always be right here.

Your friend, Lumine

[queer-charming]

Hey! I decided to post some of the unfinished works I have in my drafts, feel free to do whatever you want with it! This was going to be a Chuuya x Reader that I’ll probably never finish, so here y’a go! Go wild!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*

Part of you felt guilty, felt like you were being dishonest to your friends, you guessed technically you were, but how were you supposed to explain to the ADA that you regularly met with one of the top executives of the Port Mafia after the two of you had struck up an unlikely friendship? Like what? Were you just supposed to go up to Dazai and say “by the way, remember your former partner? You know, who’s a top member of the most dangerous crime organization in Japan? Yeah I’ve been having lunch with him every other week for the past 6 months without telling you.” You we’re sure that was not going to end well.

However, the fact that you and Chuuya had struck up such an unlikely friendship wasn’t the only secret you were keeping. You were keeping a secret from Chuuya as well, and that was the secret that over the past 6 months, he’d managed to make you fall irrevocably undeniably in love with him. However, being friends with him? Meeting with him every other week at a different restaurant to catch up? That was one thing. Dating him? Sleeping with him behind the ADAs back? That was a completely different thing. That would put real guilt in you. You weren’t sure that was a secret you’d be able to keep.

You let that thought simmer in your mind as you waited yo Chuuya to arrive, because no matter how guilty you felt, no matter how bad you felt about technically lying to your friends, nothing would ever be enough to keep you away from your favorite firey redhead. The restaurant you two had chosen was an expensive one, one that the members of the ADA would be unlikely to visit and one that Chuuya was confident very few members of the Port Mafia frequented. It was large, on the top floor of a 16 story office building. The food was gourmet and the wine was of only the highest of vintage. The wall to your left was made up entirely of windows, floor to ceiling, giving you a beautiful view over Yokohama and a breathtaking view of the ocean.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” You were pulled from your thoughts by the voice to your right, turning to see Chuuya, his standard perfectly pressed hat abandoned at the front door alongside his long jacket, giving you an uninterrupted view of his lean figure. You felt the smile naturally find it’s way onto your lips. You remembered the first moment you met Chuuya, months ago. It had been after a particularly prickly meeting with the ADA and the Port Mafia. Kunikida had spent nearly the entire time nearly coming to blows with a few of the members, Akutagawa spent the entire time antagonizing Atsushi and Chuuya and Dazai couldn’t keep their mouths shut to save the world. The only people there seemingly capable of holding an actual conversation had been you, Fukuzawa, Mori and Kouyou, while also somehow managing to prevent a slaughter. It was only after the meeting had ended that you'd managed to share a few words with Chuuya, he may have been an executive with an entirely dangerous and illegal crime rink but he still wanted to meet the ADA's new girl. Of course, you'd been thrown off a bit by the way he'd first addressed you.

"So what kind of brain damage did you suffer to agree to work with Dazai?" He'd asked. For a few seconds you had no idea how to respond, you kind of just stared at him. After a moment your brain finally caught up.

"Thrown from a horse when I was 12." You quipped back, sufficiently pleased with the look of surprise and mild confusion on the mafioso's face.

"Really?" He asked. You let his question hang for a minute before tossing him a grin.

"No." Apparently he'd liked how you responded to him, becuase after that he'd become much more friendly. After that, you'd ran into Chuuya again at a coffee shop you frequented, and of course, being the curious and adventurous person you were, you walked up to him. You were a little surprised when he'd recognized you, although you definitely were not upset by it. What was originally supposed to be a quick 15 minute coffee stop turned into a 3 hour long "Coffee date" you guessed you could call it. That was when you're biweekly meetings with Chuuya started, and the two of you had become pretty close, of course it wasn't the "I'll tell you everything about myself" kind of close, but it was nice.

"Run into some traffic?" You asked as Chuuya took his place across from you, almost immediately ordering his favorite wine.

"There were some subordinate's who needed some..." Chuuya seemed to search for the words. "Straightening out." He finally settled on.

You and Chuuya rarely spoke about work when you met up, getting together was supposed to be a time when both of you could forget where you worked, and the fact that you two were on opposite sides.

[armoricaroyalty]

call your girlfriend | kelly’s playlist | armoricaroyalty

I’ve been working on-and-off on this playlist since september 2021. I’m very satisfied with the finished playlist, and I hope you enjoy it, too!

track list w/ selected lyrics and a bit of character analysis/synthesis under the cut!

The songs with bolded titles were foundational, both to the playlist and my understanding of Kelly’s character. The bolded lyrics are especially significant to my understanding of her character.

1. So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings - Caroline Polachek

i get a little lonely get a little more close to me you’re the only one who knows me, babe

2. When Am I Gonna Lose You? - Local Natives

everything has its place now we’ll lie in our bed wondering how to explain

3. Girl of the Year - Allie X

There's a hollow inside you But, don't worry I'm here (I'm here) I don't care if you're looking for the next girl of the year

4. All This Could Be Yours - Cold War Kids

you would rather crash than go straight ahead

5. Trap Door - Stars

he told me he was young, I said ‘well what is that good for?’ nobody stays that way, day after day

6. Call Your Girlfriend - Robyn

call your girlfriend it’s time you had the talk give your reasons say it’s not her fault

7. Too Much - Carly Rae Jepsen

it’s hard to get to know me are you down, down?

8. Black Sheep - Kailee Morgue

everyone pulls away from you

9. Fast Slow Disco - St. Vincent

slip my hand from your hand leave you dancing with a ghost

10. It’s a Trip! - Joywave

when you’ve gotten what you want maybe I should start over there’s nothing left to want

11. Powder Blue/Cascine Park - Yumi Zouma

another summer in your eyes another mind made up nothing ever made you mine

12. Fresh Laundry - Allie X

these days, no one’s bothering me ‘bout nothing

13. Dancing in the Dark - Lucy Dacus

Man, I'm just tired and bored with myself Hey there, baby, I could use just a little help

Kelly surprised me. She was meant to be a one-off character, never to be seen again after kicking Freddy out of her apartment and leaking his nudes. She was supposed to be a one-note social climber, as opportunistic as Freddy was shallow. From a feminist standpoint, though, I didn’t really like having a one-note gold-digger in my story. I felt like she deserved better, so I started putting a playlist together to explore some different concepts for her character. I hit on Girl of the Year and Too Much right away, and those ended up being the songs that were instrumental (heheh) who she became in my story.

Instead of a gold-digger aggressively pushing to meet the royal family, shack up with a prince, and become a duchess, Kelly ended up being a person who is reflective, troubled, and very lonely. Girl of the Year was written about the relationship between musical artists and recording executives, but I was intrigued by the idea of a woman bringing that same attitude toward a wealthy/influential boyfriend. What would it be like to date someone knowing that you’re disposable, knowing that they might move on at any moment, knowing that the best-case scenario is coming in second place to that man’s future wife?

Kelly is a bit ambivalent about the power/money/influence gap between herself and Freddy. She isn’t a gold-digger, but she can’t help but wonder what she might be able to get out of him. I think Kelly is caught in a really difficult place of liking Freddy while understanding deep-down that the relationship doesn’t have much of a future. Her decision to remain in that relationship under those circumstances reflects both low self-worth (she doesn’t think she deserves better) and a bit of a mercenary outlook (if the relationship is doomed anyway...why not try to eke some money or notoriety out of it?).

As I’ve worked to put this post together, I was struck by how isolated Kelly is. She alludes to other people in her life (therapist, family, roommates) but we never see them. They aren’t even named. She shows up/is referenced at least nine times before we see her with anyone but Freddy, and there’s no transcribed dialogue in that post. She doesn’t actually speak to anyone until this conversation with Jacques, and they don’t have a meaningful conversation until a few pages later.

Despite her scattered references to family, roommates, and her therapist (no references to friends, notably) Freddy seems to be the only person in her life with whom she has any kind of emotional connection. And even though he was making efforts to ‘bring her into his world,’ he’s making out with someone else less than two hours after she breaks things off with him for the last time. Between their first and last appearances together, the two have switched places: he’s pushing her to take the next step in their relationship and she’s pulling back. In Kelly’s mind, Freddy was never serious about her, but he just hadn’t realized it yet.

Another thing that jumped out to me rereading Kelly’s posts is the fact that she seems to have 0 positive relationships with other women. I haven’t fleshed out her backstory, but I feel like Kelly is still recovering from a Not Like Other Girls phase and feels very alienated from womanhood in general. The first time we ever see her in the same physical space with another woman is here, more than a year after she was first introduced as a character. Notably, she and Emily don’t actually speak to one another in that scene, and Emily is unwilling to intervene when Jacques is extremely fucking shady about following a seemingly-drunk woman into a bathroom. Kelly’s first actual conversation with another woman is...this attempt to buy a bus ticket.

I think Kelly’s most important female relationship is actually the relationship she doesn’t have with Vivi. Although they never interact directly, they’re connected through that paparazzi picture and Vivi’s belief that Jacques is is the father of Kelly’s child. In this way, they’re foils for one another despite the fact they never meet. Kelly  explicitly names the tabloid abuse Vivi as one factor in their break-up. Kelly and Vivi are both royal outsiders and are thus extremely vulnerable to cultural misogyny. They’re very different women, but from an instrumental standpoint, I think their differences in outlook/opinion is due to the differences in their support networks. Vivi has good relationships with her family, especially her older sibling. Even though Vivi is in the process of being absorbed into the royal apparatus, she still has her family to lean on. Kelly doesn’t have those resources. If she married into the royal family, she’d be alone within that structure, and she knows it.

I really like Kelly. She's messy and deeply flawed, but she’s not the one-note villain I intended her to be. She’s probably my favorite among the secondary characters, and I’m going to miss her!

[skulkerdevils]

I got an idea for a bad ending A.U for resident evil 4... It's going to get dark real quickly, so strap in...

In this bad ending AU for Resident Evil 4, Albert Wesker kidnaps Ashley Graham and forces her to bear his child, a son named Jake. Wesker intends to use Jake's unique genetic makeup to create a new breed of super-soldier, one that he can use to achieve his ultimate goal of global domination.

Ashley is horrified by Wesker's plans and the fact that she is now a prisoner, forced to raise a child under the control of an evil mastermind. She tries to escape but is always foiled by Wesker's highly trained security team.

As Jake grows older, he becomes aware of his father's true intentions and begins to rebel against him. With Ashley's help, he eventually escapes Wesker's clutches and sets out to stop his father from carrying out his plans for world domination.

Jake discovers that he possesses incredible physical abilities, including enhanced strength, speed, and agility, which he uses to battle Wesker and his forces. In a final showdown, Jake confronts Wesker and is able to defeat him in a brutal fight to the death.

With Wesker gone, Jake is hailed as a hero and is able to use his abilities to help rebuild the world in the aftermath of the Las Plagas/ Uroboros outbreak. However, he is haunted by the memories of his childhood and the fact that he was forced to grow up under the shadow of his evil father. Ashley, too, is left to grapple with the trauma of her captivity and the fact that she was forced to mother a child under such terrible circumstances.

Leon Scott Kennedy failed his mission... Lost an arm and an eye, and now lives a rural life amongst the farmers... But Jake stirred him up... And now he's fighting for his life and against the Las Plagas parasite inside him that lies dormant.

Chris Redfield has been captured and both tortured and forced to train and "break" Jake... He'll never forgive himself for what he was forced to do.

Ada Wong searches for the cure for the Las Plagas... Just to help Leon through the hell he's been through... But got captured by Wesker's Security Team and was subjected to experimentation and turned into the first female bioweapon.

Wesker took over the world successfully, ruling with an iron fist, he enjoys for ing Ashley to "love" him. He sought to build an army of super soldiers... Forcing her into a life she didn't want.

Any one else of importance was executed in public for treason against Albert Wesker's rule.

Basic Description of Jake (Graham) Wesker:

Height: 5 foot 11 inches

Weight: 150 pounds 12 ounces

Hair color: born blonde but dyed it black as a way to rebel against his father's ideology

Clothing style: Black hooded baggy trenchcoat wore open, military green tee-shirt, police standard bulletproof vest, black carpenter pants, police standard gun belt, grey leather gloves, standard issue military boots (these get switched out with standard sneakers later on in the story,) chains hanging from belt.

Jake has a mutated parasite that was originally a version of the Las Plagas... But the Uroboros parasite caused a mutation within it... Creating a whole new parasite that has its own sentience and somewhat personality.

Parasite Codename: Cerberus

Parasite description: takes the form of a semi amorphous blood like liquid, usually a three headed wolf-like creature that leaks from his left wrist... It is canonically considered his parasitic twin... But Jake treats it more like a pet (if you would consider having a ravenous monster a pet,) it constantly sends impulses to his brain, causing him to ravenge, causing several casualties.

The beginning of this au would start with him coming down from one of these episodes of brutal violence... Being hugged by Ashley, who sacrificed a leg to calm down the hungry parasite.

(possible) gameplay loop:

You'd start out like a normal Resident Evil gameplay... But in the middle of the first boss fight, you'd (Jake) will start hearing a voice in his head telling him to feast... You'd then start playing as a parasite mutated version of him... Having three heads, eating to the boss (could be a bioweapon gone rouge.)

You'd spend the next hour of gameplay gathering information on your dad's (Albert Wesker's) plans... Sabotaging it.

You'd get into a fight with security, where Ashley distracts them by falling over, faking a seizure.

The last two to three hours would be spent outside of the complex Wesker had you and Ashley trapped in, meeting Leon Kennedy, Ada Wong and another original female character, who you instantly (you as in Jake) develop a crush on.

You'd have to make a decision between helping Leon save himself from the Las Plagas parasite, or kill him.

You'll find Chris Redfield holding a gun to his head and have the decision between telling him you forgive him and stopping him from killing himself, or let him do so.

You'll have to choose between bringing back Ada Wong from the brink of predatory insanity, or let her loose in the world as an insane killer bioweapon.

If you choose to save them all, they'll be by your side at the beginning of the fight...

Leon Kennedy with his pitchfork, wielding it like a spear.

Chris Redfield would have an assault rifle.

Ada Wong with her bare hands.

At the end of the boss fight with Albert Wesker, you can either give in to the parasite within... Initiating the "total bad ending," and becoming nothing more than a monster that rules over the world like your dad, or only cripple him permanently, forcing him to live in suffering and misery for the rest of his life, initiating the good ending.

In the good ending, you'll cripple him, leaving him to suffer, walking out of the room, meeting back up with Ashley, who hugs you tightly and thanks you for saving her and the world... While also making a quip about you being an emo boy.

In the bad ending, you'll walk out of the room, the Cerberus parasite holding Albert Wesker's head in one of its mouths, before crushing it... Ashley Graham will see this and be repulsed, believing that you are a monster yourself, causing you (Jake) to lose all hope in himself, letting the parasite eat her... You then take Wesker's place as the planet's ruler.

Final boss fight important details:

You soon get strong enough to fight Albert Wesker himself... Who initiates the fight by paralyzing Jake's crush.

You'll be unarmed, no weapons... So neither will he.

Wesker will constantly call you a mistake and a failure, insulting you the entire time.

(A/N: I know people are so going to hate me... But I have to be honest... The idea of the perfectionists own "perfect" child killing them to save the day is incredibly appealing to me.)