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nataliesfirefly · 2 months

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You and I Walk a Fragile Line - Farleigh Start x F!Reader - Part 5

a/n: hello!! i have a treat for u guys... so i know i said i don't really write smut but i felt like this story just needed it- this is my first time writing smut and it might lowkey suck. i hope it's good, i tried really hard but DAMN writing smut is not for the weak. props to you writers that do it so much better. anyways this part is kinda long BUTTT very juicy. please enjoy and leave a comment to tell me what you think or if you would like to be added to the taglist! also started posting this series on my ao3, it's the same as my tumblr username!

series masterlist

word count: 4.5k

warnings: language, alcohol, smut, fingering, angst, mentions of weed

You wake up to someone saying your name and shaking you. “Wake up,” You realize it’s Venetia. You blink a few times, your eyes adjusting to the warm golden light of your bedroom.

“What?” Your voice comes out weak and hoarse. “Oh, thank God. I was worried about you,” She rubs your back and you groan, rolling over and shoving your face into the sheets.

“Where did you disappear to last night? All I remember is you and Farleigh going upstairs—” She stops in the middle of her sentence like she is just processing what she said. “Wait- did you and Farleigh-”

“No! No, no, no.” You shake your head aggressively. You rack your brain to recall last night’s events. You remember drinking a lot of alcohol, making out with Farleigh, and then throwing up shortly afterwards.

“Did you drink too much?” Venetia asks, her hand still on your back. “No…” You attempt to lie but you know it’s useless.

You can’t hide your physical appearance, the sign that you obviously fell asleep drunk last night. You had slept in your dress, makeup was smudged all over your face and on the pillows of your bed, and your hair was tangled, the little butterfly clips that were once in it scattered around your bed.

“Babes. Sit up, you need to drink some water.” She stands up and goes into your bathroom. You hear the faucet running as you slowly sit up, and your brain feels like it’s rolling around in your head.

“Oww,” You wince at the throbbing headache and adjust yourself, leaning against the headboard. Venetia returns and hands you a glass of water. You take it and hold it with both hands, not trusting your unstable grasp. You take a sip, letting the cool water refresh your dry throat.

“Haven’t seen Farleigh since last night either, come to think of it,” She remarks, watching you take little sips of the water. “Felix took a liking to Sadie. And you know, no one can deny Felix, so… you can guess how that went,” She chuckles to herself.

You pause and look at her. “Like, Sadie as in the one Elspeth was trying to set Farleigh up with?” You ask. Venetia nods. “Yep. Felix just can’t keep himself away from girls.” She tuts and shakes her head.

“Farleigh didn’t like her anyway,” You mutter. “I figured.” She looks at you strangely, like she’s trying to figure you out, or figure something out.

“You two seem a lot closer lately.” She raises an eyebrow. “No.” You immediately reply. She giggles at your quick response. “What? It’s not like it’s a bad thing,” She says.

“It is a bad thing.” You sigh and shake your head. Venetia narrows her eyes at you suspiciously before leaning back, deciding not to press you any further.

“What can I get you? Some painkillers?” She asks. “Yes, please.” You nod gratefully and she climbs off of your bed, heading out of your room.

You stare at the wall, thinking about last night. You didn’t want to think about it, but your mind kept going back to it. Although you were drunk and your brain was hazy, you can still remember it so clearly. The way his big hands felt so perfectly on your hips, the way he kissed your neck, the way you felt while you were underneath him. The way he made you feel. Your stomach flips as you press your thighs together, suddenly feeling warmth creep onto your face.

When Venetia returns, she refills your glass of water and hands you some pills to take. As you tip your head back to swallow the painkillers, you hear her gasp softly.

“Are those hickeys? On your neck?” You freeze and your heart drops. “Shit,” You curse under your breath. You knew there would be marks but you seemed to forget by the time you woke up.

“Oh my God,” Venetia laughs and playfully pushes you. Your face grows even more red and you glance down to avoid her gaze. “I fucking knew it,” She giggles with satisfaction and you let out an annoyed sigh.

“Please don’t go telling everyone. I don’t even know how it all happened,” You pinch the space between your eyes while closing them. “You know I won’t tell. I’m the best secret keeper around,” She nudges you softly.

“Just because we made out does not mean we’re anything,” You explain to her as if you’re trying to justify a crime. But deep down, some part of you wishes that wasn’t true. You want to at least be something to him. “We were just drunk.” Just drunk, you thought.

You manage to clean up your appearance and cover the bruises on your neck with lots of makeup. You walk downstairs to get some breakfast, maybe some toast or something to take it easy on your stomach.

You walk into the dining room and see Farleigh seated at his usual spot. After a brief moment of eye contact, you immediately drop your gaze to the floor and turn to walk to the buffet of fruit and pastries. You grab a plate and begin assembling your meal. You pause when you hear someone standing up from a chair and footsteps behind you.

Quickly, you turn around to see Farleigh walking out of the room. You watch him leave, confused by his sudden exit. You shrug and turn back to your breakfast, carrying your plate over to the table and sitting down.

You are enjoying the nice moment of peace and quiet as you take small bites of your croissant, until Felix walks in and stands on the other side of the table, looking down at you.

“Hey. Can we talk? Please?” He asks, sitting down in the chair across from you. You nod and take a drink of water.

“I’m sorry. I know Farleigh has told you things I have said. I don’t know if he’s making things up or telling the truth, but I’m sorry either way.” He says, twiddling his thumbs nervously.

“I forgive you, but why would you say those things if you didn’t mean them?” You reply, trying to find compassion for him while also trying to understand his mind. “I’m not sure. I just say dumb things sometimes, mate.”

Although this seemed like a half-assed apology and you were reluctant to accept it, you wanted things to go back to normal with Felix, or as normal as they could be, especially since you have to deal with him the rest of the summer. You want to enjoy every summer at Saltburn you have left before you graduate and move on with your life. But your thoughts still linger on why Felix treated you like some stray dog off the street during your argument a few days ago, and if he meant everything he said.

“Okay.” You nod and he grins. “Friends?” He holds out his hand for you to shake across the table. You lean forward and reach out, grabbing his hand and shaking it. “Friends.” You repeat.

Dinner that night feels different. Farleigh is quieter than usual, not interjecting with his little comments or jabs. He doesn’t even glance in your direction, even though you try staring him down multiple times. His eyes are glued to the table, or off to the side somewhere else. He’s been avoiding you all day, icing you out.

“How did you and Sadie get along, Farleigh?” Elspeth suddenly asks. Farleigh shrugs. “Alright,” He says simply. Elspeth tilts her head slightly and looks back down to her plate, a puzzled look on her face.

Venetia clears her throat. “I think Sadie and Felix got along especially well.” Felix coughs suddenly. “Venetia,” He mutters. She smirks, and you laugh quietly.

One evening, you walk downstairs to look for Venetia. It’s been three painful days of Farleigh ignoring and avoiding you. You can’t lie, you miss his company, as much as it pains you to admit it.

You find Farleigh sitting on the couch in the lounge room, reading a book. Now’s your chance. He can’t avoid you now.

You approach the couch and sit down next to him. He stiffens before standing up, placing the book on the arm of the couch, and walking out of the room. What the fuck?

No, no. You can’t stand him ignoring you. It’s making your blood boil, that familiar feeling returning. Your anger towards him overcomes your senses.

You stand up and race after him, passing through the study, surrounded by tall, dark shelves of dusty old classics. You reach out and grab his wrist, forcing him to turn around. His cold and dark eyes pierce into you, and you can feel the tension already building.

“Why are you avoiding me?” You ask, your voice coming out harsher than you expected.

“Avoiding you?” He raises an eyebrow and acts clueless. Of course, he’s playing dumb. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.” He puts on a look of confusion, like he’s trying to figure something out.

“Bullshit. You haven’t talked to me for three days. You left me that night when I was literally throwing up,” Your voice seethes with anger. He tilts his head, only now realizing you are alluding to the other night’s events.

“I was drunk. We both were.” He says. He steps forward, towering over you. “It didn’t mean anything. Don’t be an idiot,” He lowers his voice and his tone is condescending.

“Don’t do that. I know you felt it, too.” You say, lowering your own voice. You tighten your fingers around his wrist and stare deep into his eyes, searching for something, anything.

He pauses and stares right back at you. For a moment, everything is still. Until he rips his arm from your grasp and steps away.

“Felt what?” He asks, his voice cold. “Fuck you,” You whisper through gritted teeth, feeling angry because you know he’s bluffing.

“Oh yeah? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He replies teasingly, tilting his head with a slight smirk, showing his teeth.

You look away, clearly flustered and your face becomes hot. You aren’t sure what to say as you stare down at the floor. Before you know it he’s stepping back up to you and grabbing your wrist, pulling you close to him almost too quickly. You almost trip on your own feet as he effortlessly grabs you.

He leans down, his eyes flickering from your lips back to your own. You take the hint and stand on the tips of your toes to meet his height, tilting your head as your noses brush together. There’s only a millisecond of hesitation before he’s kissing you in the same way he did a few nights ago, like he’s making up for lost time.

His arms wrap around you hurriedly, desperately, as if you were trying to get away from him. Which you definitely weren’t. You place your hands on his chest to ground you as you both stumble backwards before your back hits one of the bookshelves.

You gasp for air and you hear Farleigh breathing heavily after he pulls away, but only for a brief second. His eyes are clouded with lust, his pupils blown wide, the black almost overtaking the beautiful brown rings around them.

His lips are on yours again, his body pinning you to the bookshelf. You reach your arms up to his broad shoulders as you feel his tongue slip into your mouth. Your eyes flutter with delight as you melt into the kiss, feeling his hands travel down to your lower back, and then your hips.

You feel his hand slip under your sundress and grab your thigh, pushing your leg up and to the side, giving some distance between your legs. He nudges his knee right in that spot, softly grinding it against you.

He pulls away to watch your reaction, biting his bottom lip as your eyes widen. Your lips part slightly and a soft moan escapes you. “Farleigh,” You gasp, your breath short as your hands grasp onto his shoulders.

“Hmm?” He mutters, tilting his head down to kiss your neck. Your neck is still sensitive from the bruises he had left last night, but you don’t care. Your mind can only seem to focus on the ache between your legs, your body practically screaming for him.

“Please,” You whisper, although you aren’t sure what you’re begging for. But he seems to know exactly what you want. He moves his knee slightly, still keeping your leg up, and the hand that was hooked under your thigh is now hiking your dress up for easier access. His fingers dance along your inner thigh and eventually, he’s pushing your panties to the side and your breath catches in your throat as you feel his finger dipping into your wet folds without warning.

He seems to groan in response to how soaked you are, and you would normally be embarrassed, but you’re too turned on at the moment to care. Your eyebrows draw upwards and your mouth falls open as his thumb nudges at your clit, tracing agonizingly slow circles. All you can do is whimper in response as he teases you, your knees feeling so weak, like you could fall over at any minute.

Suddenly, one of his long fingers is pushing deep into the heat of your cunt, pulling a short moan out of you as your head falls forward, your forehead resting on his chest. Your walls stretch around his digit and he groans again. “So tight,” He mutters, that alone almost causing your knees to give out. Not long after, he adds a second finger, his thumb still rubbing your clit at a slightly faster pace. You can feel that familiar heat building up in your lower stomach already, causing your heart to race even faster.

You begin to grind against his hand, rolling your hips mindlessly at the tempo he set for the both of you. You swear you hear him moan, his other hand’s grip on your waist tightening to keep you in place. He seems to be enjoying this just as much as you are, his fingers curling and gliding inside of you so delightfully. His fingertips brush up against that heavenly, spongy spot inside of you that you had never been able to reach on your own, causing your jaw to go slack.

“Shit- Right there,” You grip his shoulders even harder, your head lolling back. “Yeah?” He responds, his voice deep and raspy. You nod senselessly, and his fingers continue going deeper, determined to give you that pleasure you were chasing after. It’s almost too much, and your eyes begin to tear up as his fingers glide against that spot, over and over. You feel the white hot pleasure building and building, like a coil threatening to unravel at any moment. “Far-” You manage to choke out as if to warn him.

“Look at me,” Farleigh demands, and you don’t know if you can. Your head is tilted back and your eyes are fluttering, gazing up at the ceiling. “I can’t-” You shake your head as his fingers continue working on you, your chest heaving up and down. You want to feel that euphoric relief but you don’t want the moment to end either, but it feels so good that it almost starts to hurt.

He grabs your chin and tilts your head down so that you are forced to look right at him. Your eyes are glazed over and half-lidded, your lashes wet from your tears. “Such a slut. So easy to please,” He mutters, dragging his thumb down your swollen bottom lip. “I need– Can’t-” You whimper, apparently unable to form coherent sentences as you feel your climax approaching. “Need what, baby?” He asks tauntingly, and with one final stroke on your clit, you’re gone.

Your whole body tightens and stills, the pleasure racking through you. Your eyes roll back and you claw at his shoulders desperately as he helps you ride it out. When your eyes return to him, he has an almost pained expression on his face as he watches you come undone. He moans and lets go of your chin, letting your head fall back onto his chest. You lick the tears that built at the corners of your lips, your body going limp as you breathe heavily due to the aftermath of your intense orgasm. Eventually, he pulls his fingers out of your pussy, letting your dress fall back down over your legs. He takes the smallest step away from you, and you can finally raise your head enough to look up at him. His gaze bores into yours as he puts those two fingers into his mouth, tasting you, swirling his tongue over them. You can’t seem to look away. You’re fascinated by his dedication.

“See you in the morning,” His arms return to his sides and he grins smugly, turning to walk out of the study. You stand there in shock, not sure what to do with yourself. What the hell just happened? Your legs are still shaking as you flatten your dress with trembling hands.

2 YEARS EARLIER

You glanced at yourself in the mirror, pulling your hair forward to fall over your shoulders. You spun around, observing the outfit that your roommate, Lola, had put together for you. A short, denim skirt with a cropped black top with some band’s name on it. It was simple but cute.

“You look so good,” Lola stepped up behind you and grinned at your appearance. “I think I did a great job.” She nodded and slapped you on the ass. “You did. It was all you,” You told her, leaning forward to flick a remnant of mascara off your face.

You had gotten all dressed up to go clubbing with Lola. It took loads of convincing, but eventually, you agreed. In about a month or two, you would have to start revising for exams, and you wanted to get good scores. So, this was kind of your last chance to go out, have a good time, stay up late, drink, and party until you forget about your stress.

“Wait, do my extensions look alright? My sister bought them for me. She told me they were trending,” You turned around to examine her hair. She had put a few clip-in pink hair extensions to contrast her dark brown hair. “They look great.” You said. She smiled at you before turning around. “Let’s get going then,” She grabbed her purse and you followed suit, trying not to trip in your chunky platform boots.

Almost everyone you knew from Oxford was at that club. It was the closest one to campus, after all. Felix waved you and Lola over to the bar.

“So, Lola, how’s second term going for you?” Felix asked, sliding her a tall glass of beer. She shrugged, taking the beer and tasting the foam at the top. “Good. Can’t complain,” She grinned. “Same here. Just can’t wait for exams,” He remarked sarcastically.

“Oh, yeah. So excited,” You joined in, and you all chuckled. “Well, I’m going to the loo.” Lola nudged you and you turned to her. “C’mon,” She muttered. “Oh- Okay,” Felix watched you two walk off to the bathroom.

There was a line for the toilets, but instead Lola brought you to the side. “I don’t actually need to go. I just… have a question,” She had some kind of mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “What’s up?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s about Felix. Is he single?” You groaned and facepalmed. “Lola. We’ve been over this.” Lola had an intense crush on Felix ever since you introduced them to each other. You told her that it would make things awkward if they dated, considering they were both your best friends, but she never seemed to give up on her dream.

“Well, is he?” She exclaimed, throwing her hands up. “I don’t know. He’s not really one to… settle down. He gets with a different girl, like, every other night.” You shrugged helplessly. Lola bit her lip, considering her options.

“If you are wanting a serious relationship with him, good luck.” You shook your head. Lola raised her eyebrows. “So, what about just a shag?” She asked. You rolled your eyes. “I mean, he probably wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

“Okay. What should I say?” Lola chewed on her nail nervously. “Uhh, just… Flirt, I guess.” You shrugged. She groaned. “You are absolutely no help.” She pat you on the shoulder before spinning on her heel and walking back out into the club and towards the bar again. “Good luck!” You shouted after her, but you don’t think she heard you.

Great. Now you were on your own. You sighed and walked out of the bathroom, shoving past groups of girls and loud men. You headed over to the lounge area, where many people sat on the velvet couches, smoking, playing drinking games, or full on making out.

You recognized one of the people in the corner. Farleigh. He was heavily making out with someone, almost grinding on them. It was most likely Sasha, you thought. But no, the other person was too tall to be Sasha. You squinted and walked a bit closer. Joshua?!

Farleigh was making out with Joshua Brown. “The fuck?” You muttered under your breath. You thought Joshua was straight. I mean, he liked girls so much, it never would have crossed your mind that he would be into men.

You wondered if you should tell Sasha about this… situation. You knew she was here tonight, you saw her earlier shaking ass on the dancefloor. And you could have sworn Farleigh was right next to her. Oh well. You wanted an excuse to snitch on Farleigh.

You backed away and walked speedily to the dancefloor, searching for Sasha. “Have you seen Sasha?” You asked a random girl. She shook her head.

You moved through the throng of students and eventually saw her. She was standing towards the edge of the dancefloor, speaking to one of her girl friends, nodding enthusiastically.

“Sasha!” You jogged over to her and paused to catch your breath. She looked you up and down like she was trying to recognize you. “Uhhh..” She trailed off, glancing to her friend. Her friend shook her head, as if to say, ‘I don’t know her either.’

“I know you don’t know me. Well, maybe you do and you just forgot, but-” You paused, realizing you sound stupid. “Anyways. I just wanted to ask if you were aware that Farleigh and Joshua Brown are making out right now…?”

She stared at you like you just spoke a different language. Then, she finally seemed to process what you said. “What? Really?” Her eyes widened and she looked over to her friend once again. You nodded. “Sorry.”

“No, you have nothing to be sorry for. Where exactly was this happening?” She asked, and you could tell she was mad. You could feel the rage radiating from her.

“Over by the lounge,” You told her, pointing to the opposite side of the club where you had just come from. She nodded and grabbed her friend’s hand. “Let’s go get this dumb bitch,” Sasha told her.

“Yikes,” You whispered, watching them storm off together. You kind of wanted to see Farleigh get his ass handed to him, so you followed far behind them.

They were still all over each other by the time Sasha and her friend reached them. “Hey, what the fuck?!” Sasha yelled, earning a few glances from some innocent bystanders. Farleigh froze and pushed Joshua off of him. “Shit. Hey, Sasha.” He stood there awkwardly.

Sasha stepped up to him and slapped him across the face. “Are you a fucking idiot? You asshole! Did you think I wouldn’t catch you?” Farleigh’s eyes widened as he stared down at her, completely at a stand still.

“You fucking cheater,” Her voice seethed with anger. “What, have you two already shagged?” She pointed to Joshua. Joshua just stood there, eyes wide and face flushed with embarrassment. “No, we haven’t.” Farleigh replied. “And it’s not cheating. We were just-”

“Shut the fuck up.” She raised her finger at Farleigh. “Sasha, baby, please.” He opened his arms and she shook her head. “No. You’re probably high. I can smell the fucking weed on you,”

Farleigh’s eyes trailed from Sasha over to you. His eyes narrowed and it’s like he knew immediately that you were the one who snitched on him. You lowered your gaze to the floor and stepped back before turning and walking away.

Later that night, you sat with Joshua in his dorm, consoling him as he cried. Lola had texted you to inform you that she and Felix were going back to his place. You guessed she was successful after all. You held him as his shoulders shook, feeling his tears falling onto your shirt.

“I feel awful. Sasha didn’t deserve that,” He looked up at you and you nodded. “I know. Listen, they’ll be back together in no time. Trust me.” You pat his head. “And now everyone thinks I’m gay,” He sobbed.

“Well.. are you?” You asked, curiosity getting the best of you. He shrugged. “I’ve just always thought Farleigh was so hot and tonight… well, he gave me some weed and then he kissed me. How could I say no?”

Oh. It made so much sense now. Joshua was always talking about Farleigh, how he was good with both girls and boys, and his skills. You thought maybe he had been jealous, but all along, he just had a crush on him.

“Damn. It’s okay. It may… take some time to figure things out, you know?” You rubbed his back and he sniffled.

You stayed the night at Joshua’s. It was already too late for you to return back to your own dorm, and you didn’t even have the key to your room. Lola did, and you knew she wasn’t there. He fell asleep with his head on your lap, so you had no choice but to lean back and try to get some sleep, despite the uncomfortable position you were in.

To no surprise, you heard Sasha and Farleigh fucking during the early hours of the morning. You knew their relationship was so fucked that Farleigh cheating wouldn’t change anything. Sasha pretended to be angry, but she loved him too much to break up with him. So instead, they just fucked.

You sat there and stared at the wall, wondering if Farleigh was the problem or if Sasha was. Sasha was psychotic, but Farleigh was the one making out with someone else. Maybe Sasha gave him a pass because he was high. Either way, you figured they were very dysfunctional. But why were you so invested in trying to figure them out, or rather, figure him out? You decided to think about that question in the morning as you drifted off to sleep.

taglist: @isla-finke-blog @ibimbogrl @drunkmysticsquirrel @alonia-olivia @novemilady @saltburnsworld @florkt @i-love-ptv

#farleigh x reader #farleigh start #farleigh start x reader #farleigh x you #saltburn #farleigh saltburn

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stevesharrlngtons · 1 year

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a family affair.

tangerine x reader

word count: 3.5k

summary: there is an interloper in tan’s family and he doesn’t like it one bit.

or: tan really hates change.

an: as i said, in my atj era and couldn’t help wanting to write a lil something for tan (as that’s all the fanfic ive been reading lately lol) enjoy!

“All is well, my love,” you murmured comfort to Tan as your eyes roamed the plastic plated pub menu in front of you.

His fingers had been playing an angry tune on your waist for fifteen minutes, the solid gold of his rings battering your skin in a way that had started to smarten. He expelled ragged exhales through his nose every few moments, and with all his fidgeting next to you, you weren’t confident about the headspace he was in.

“I know that,” Tan replied in a cold clipped tone.

“Really? Because I can hear you grinding your teeth from here. Keep that up and when they get here, you’ll open your mouth to say hello and powder will puff out.”

“I won’t be sayin’ fuckin’ hello to ‘er.”

Your brow ticked and you took your eyes off the menu to turn to him, “you will absolutely be saying hello, and you will absolutely make conversation. We talked about this.”

“I know we talked about this,” he seethed and crouched low to your ear to say, “but I told ya then and I’ll tell ya now, I don’t got a best behavior.”

His free arm extended across the table as he shook the linked bracelet he wore back down on his wrist, his biceps flexing to test the already tired seams of his navy button down. The tension pulsing through him was palpable, you could sense his wound muscles and hear their screaming aches.

“Well, you better find one,” you said with a shrug, then returned your gaze to the tri-fold pages in front of you. The loud peeling the pages made as you pulled them apart effectively silence your boyfriend’s anxious knuckle cracking while his eyes burned into your profile. No matter how edge he was, you refused to give into his griping to ditch out on the evening and head home.

This evening at the pub was a night of much contention for Tan, and one he had hemmed and hawed about all week. He pulled out all the stops to get out of tonight, but to no avail. No “forgotten plans” or “last minute jobs” or “I just want to have a night in, just the two of us, love”’s would get him out of this, and deep down, you knew he knew that, too. Because tonight was for his brother, and he would do anything for him. Even this. Sometimes, he just needed a little reminding.

“I don’t bloody understand-“ you cut him off before he could continue.

“Because Lemon was extremely accepting of me, almost more so than you in the beginning may I add,” Tan’s grumbling continued, “so we are doing the same for him. He is your brother and you love him.”

His mustache twitched with discontent and you rolled your eyes.

“If she sucks, then we can talk shit about her all the way home, OK? But until then? She’s innocent until proven otherwise, and we’re giving her a chance.”

“Not wise to quote the legal system to me, love. If ya know one thing ‘bout me, it should be that I don’t give a rat's arse about that.”

“Well it’s not wise to be snippy with me, because it seems I am the only one holding this meeting together.”

You stood after your retort, Tan’s hand that had been resting on your waist fell to his lap. His face soured further at the action.

“Now excuse me while I go to the bar to order us a round. You keep scaring off all the waiters and we need to look friendly and warm when they get here. Beer and appetizers are how we are doing that.”

“Warm,” he scoffed, “I ain’t fuckin’ warm, darlin’.”

“Well,” you leaned back toward him and pressed a chaste kiss to his temple “you are for me.”

He blew out an unconvinced breath through his nose (but didn’t disagree) that left you laughing. You turned to make your way toward the bar before Tan stopped you.

“Just sy’know, if that bartender looks at your ass like he did when we were comin’ in? I’m takin’ his eyes out with a fuckin’ melon baller.”

“Best behavior, remember?” you sing-songed and walked away before he could respond. Though, you knew that his retort was no doubt a string of expletives.

After a good natured conversation with the bartender, whose flirty banter you were glad Tan could not overhear, you armed yourself with your purchased supplies and headed back toward the booth. With four glasses and a pitcher of lager held strategically in your hands, you were so focused on not letting anything slip from your grip, that you almost didn’t notice that your table had grown by two.

“Well look who's playin’ barmaid tonight,” Lemon exclaimed as he noticed you nearing the table.

He stood from his seat immediately to come to your aid, something you thanked him for profusely. He waved you off with a smile and placed his cheek to yours in greeting. You couldn’t help but notice that he was wearing a new aftershave, one that smelled similar to his brother’s, and that his face was clean shaven.

Once you two parted and had divided up the glasses and beer, you finally had a chance to peek at the evening's guest of honor.

“You must be the girlfriend,” you said cheerily, extending your hand, “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Pin straight black hair acted as a curtain to reveal a pair of thick glasses and brown eyes as Lemon’s girlfriend turned to you. Her face was expressionless, bare of any makeup and smooth of any distinguishing emotional wrinkles. The turtleneck sweater she wore, thick and wool, was a deep purple and rose to the bottom of her jaw. Her gaze flicked over your form and then landed on your awaiting right hand.

“Likewise.” her tone was flat and disinterested, her handshake just the same.

Without even looking at Tan, you knew that the tips of his ears were turning red and his nostrils were flaring at the perceived slight made against you by this new woman. Respect was everything to him, and when not given to him, or worse, you? His blood began to boil.

“Rebecca this is (Y/N), and (Y/N) this is Rebecca.” Lemon introduced.

You looked back toward him once you had released Rebecca’s hand, the grin he offered was cheek splitting in its size. Your heart squeezed at his clear happiness. Only if his brother felt the same way.

“Well, it’s so awesome to finally meet you,” your tone was sweet and Rebecca’s face was disillusioned by your friendliness.

“Yeah, so awesome,” she barely controlled the eye roll you knew she was itching to complete.

You made your way to Tan’s side of the booth, who practically manhandled you back into the seat next to him, his arm lasoing you to his side. His large palm squeezed your hip tight in silent communication. One to say “I was right about this crazy bitch, and I’m going to lose my bloody mind”

You gently placed your hand over his and extended up to place a soft kiss to his jaw, your silent reply of “I’m right here. It’s ok, we’ve got this”

Tan only wished he could believe you.

His eye had begun to twitch seven minutes after Lemon and she arrived. The tension in his shoulders had reached a peak of almost unbearable pain and he swore he was about to crack a molar or burst a leak in his tongue by how hard his jaw was clenched.

The woman who accompanied Lemon tonight (yes, he was refusing to say the harpy’s name) was quite possibly the most vile and unpleasant woman he had ever met. That was certainly saying something too, as he was a contract killer and killed vile men and women on the daily. But this woman? The one Lemon was looking at with stars in his eyes? Somehow topped them all.

Pompous, arrogant, self righteous and shrill. He'd known her all of thirty minutes and he could already tell she was a pretentious martyr. Quite frankly, he thought she was a cunt.

And the worst part? The part that was really sending his anger into orbit? That both his brother and his girlfriend didn’t seem to notice. Well, Lemon didn’t seem to notice, you just didn’t seem to care.

You were a people person, you liked to talk to strangers on the subway, to census takers at the door and doctors office receptionists on the phone; you liked to make people smile, make them happy. You could also schmooze. You could say exactly what someone wanted to hear and pin the inner workings of people psyches and youtheir sore spots in the blink of an eye. While Tan needed to be in physical control, the looming threatening force in every room, you were happy to sidle up next to him and find out what made people tick. You were polar opposites and the perfect team. You were the sweet to his salty (and yes, he knew there was a joke about his namesake in there somewhere…) and the tamer of the wildfire that swarmed in his stomach.

Even as a sunny extrovert, you had your tells for when discomfort and nervous energy would start to creep in. And Tan? He knew every fucking one.

Your smile would grow just a little too wide, a hair toward painful and not so cheerful. You would start to nod in long intervals that would weigh on the side of awkward. You’d tap your fingernails together like Dolly Parton and trace the scar on your pinky that you got when you were eight, the repetition soothing to you.

And now, while Rebecca droned on about United Kingdom policy reform or… whatever drivel she was talking about, Tan could see all your tells in full swing.

And yet? You continued to engage the spider in friendly conversation while Lemon continued to giggle like a schoolgirl at her rubbish responses. She was lucky she hadn’t said anything outwardly offensive to either his brother or his love, because truly, Tangerine had no problem with putting a bullet between her eyes and every other patron in the bar so there were no witnesses of his execution of this terrible double date.

He knew you wouldn’t be happy about that, and Lemon decidedly less so, but you’d both get over it. You would place your hands on your hips and sigh (the way you always do when he got a little too murder-y outside of working hours) but Tan would grovel so nicely for you, kiss you tenderly and whisper sweet nothings in your ear and then happily do the same between your legs. And Lemon? He’d buy him a Guinness in a few days and ring his favorite call girl from London and things would be peachy once again for the three of you.

The three of you, his mind emphasized, just the way he liked it.

“Oi, mate,” Lemon said and he tipped his chin up toward his brother, effectively breaking Tan from his thoughts “did ya hear me? I said Becca went to Oxford and MIT in the states. She was at Oxford the same time we were in the area ‘bout five years ago, you ‘member that? What are the odds?”

Yes, Tan did remember. They were in Oxford to kill some geezer scientist who swore he had struck up an invention to turn water into gasoline. He and Lemon got a pretty penny for that job.

“Bloody rivetin’, it is,” Tan replied, sarcasm oozing out of his mouth.

“It’s like we really have been just one step apart our whole lives, aint it?” Lemon nudges Rebecca with his shoulder, which rocked her slightly in her seat. Her expression stayed stagnant.

Tangerine swallowed a long pull of beer before he replied, “Truly unfortunate you crossed paths now then, ‘innit? Could’a kept up the game of being strangers a while longer. Hell, maybe forever.”

Lemon’s eyes widen and Tan can tell it’s taking effort for his brother to not let his smile slip. He was feeling the four large beers he had consumed while suffering through the night. His composure and any hint of “best behavior” he’d had, had begun to slip away and fast. Combine that with your shared discomfort over this spider? He was ready to escalate this evening to deadly levels.

Until your soft hand crossed over Tan’s chest and rested on his left shoulder, your cheek moving to rest on his right. The reminder of your presence gave his fury pause, and when your lithe fingers broke the barrier of his unbuttoned shirt to dance across the skin of his collar bone he felt his racing heart slow.

With one simple touch, you proved you knew his own tells, too.

“Well, I may not be a ballet prodigy like this one,” you gestured to Rebecca, “but I have been watching people dance all night and I want to go join them.”

Ballet prodigy? When had the table learned that? Fucking hell, maybe he was drunker than he thought.

“What do you think, honey?”

Lemon responded before Tan had the chance.

“Yeah, y’know what? I think that would do us all some good,” he inhaled a deep breath through his nose, before he stood and pulled out Rebecca’s chair for her.

“Bar dancing. How very Footloose,” Rebecca drawls and took Lemon’s hand he was offering you.

“Oh bloody fuckin’ hell,” Tan shook his head with a scoff.

“OK, let’s go,” you huffed and hauled Tan up by his arm.

He left the booth without a fight and let himself be maneuvered through the sea of dancing pub patrons and drunken social groups. His head was on a swivel in an effort to keep his brother in his sights, but his bleach blonde mop soon was lost in the sea of people, likely what you were striving for. Soon, a gap appeared on the dance floor for the two of you to take residence in.

“Well, that was a god damned shit show, wasn’t it?” Tan said as his hands quickly found your waist and pulled you to his chest, ��don’t wanna to say I told ya so, but…”

He pursed his lips smugly and you chuffed a laugh.

“You’re such a dick."

“Imma dick? Really? After we just sat with Margret fuckin’ cunty Thatcher for an hour?”

A boisterous laugh left you this time, an Tan felt his chest puff in pride at the sound.

“Y’know what? Two. Two I told ya so’s for tonight. For the best behavior bollocks, and the fact that that woman is in fact, a complete fuckin’ bitch.”

“Oh, she’s not that bad. She’s definitely a bitch and a bit cold, but she’s not horrible.”

Tan pulled you even closer as you both swayed gently to the old folk song that played from the jukebox. His eyebrows raised incredulously and his mustache shuffled under his nose.

“On a scale from not that bad to the fuckin’ spawn of satan, I’d say she’s broken the meter, love.”

“I thought you said it was a scale, not a meter?”

“Of fuck off, don’t get smart with me.”

You grinned, but began to relent, “OK, so she’s not the most,” you floundered for a word for a moment, “pleasant, but not everyone can be! There has to be sucky people so the best people can stick out.”

“Sucky? You’re going with sucky to describe the hag now?” his tone was baffled.

“You already called her a cunt. I didn’t feel it was necessary to repeat. She’s bad, but not a cunt times two.”

It was Tan’s turn to laugh, “You’re too sweet for your own good, ya know that?”

You made a sound in disagreement.

“Not too sweet, just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she’s bad with new people? Fuck, maybe her only coping mechinism is superme levels of bitch, who knows.”

“I thought you were an expert on figuring out why people are the way they are?”

“Well, she’s a tough bitch to crack. I’ll get her, though. Eventually.”

A grin continued to stretch on Tan’s lips as he looked down at you, his hands still on your waist and your hands gently cupped the nape of his neck.

“But really, I wanted Lem to see us giving her a chance, alright? I wanted him to know we are giving her a fair shot, just like he gave us.”

“Wrong. Lemon loved ya the moment he met ya because you are fuckin’ wonderful darlin’, and he isn’t blind so he knew it. His little creature is nothing of the sort,” Tan shot back quickly.

He wouldn’t let you even entertain the idea that you and her were similar. Tan wasn’t even sure you two were born on the same planet.

“Still, she deserved a fair chance. I didn’t want him to think that you were going to go all sterile soldier on him and reject her before we even got to know her.”

Tan rolled his eyes at the nickname. It had been given by Lemon the very first time his brother realized how adverse he was to emotions and change. You weren’t lying when you said that Lemon had been more welcoming than Tan had been in the beginning of your relationship. He didn’t like change. He liked things the way they were: him and Lemon, the way it was supposed to always be. Meeting you? That fucked everything up. You were the gorgeous cog in the carefully organized assembly that was his life. It took him longer than he cared to remember, or admit, to realize that maybe he liked his life a hell’uve a lot better with an intruder like you in it. You were what his well oiled machine was missing.

“It ain’t that, love,” he replied and pulled you closer. His chin went to rest on the crown of your head and he inhaled your floral shampoo.

“Maybe it was a little, though?” you asked against the skin of his throat, and Tan didn’t have to respond for you to know the answer.

Of course it was that. Rebecca being a slag only worked to solidify her as public enemy number one, but she had secured that placement before Tangerine even knew her name. She had the ability to cause a rift in his life- the ability to take his brother and the comfort Tan found in him- and he just couldn’t have that.

“You know how I am,” was all he said in return, and you did know.

“I do… which is why I am proud of you, baby,” you pulled away enough to meet his gaze, “because four years ago, you wouldn’t have even entertained this night. But look at you now.”

Your smile thawed him further, though the compliment made him feel awkward.

“So what? Ya sayin’ you fixed me?”

“Nah,” you moved your hands to frame his cheeks, “just shaped you up a little.”

Tan shook his head at your words and did his best to not be charmed by them, but to no avail.

“See? Too fuckin' sweet. If I were watchin’ us, I’d fuckin’ retch.”

Your lips met his a moment later, and your sickening display of affection continued to onlookers. And Tan didn't give one flying fuck. With the taste of your lips on his and your plush body pressed to his front, the only worry he had was if he could shuffle you to the bathroom in time to fuck you the way he needed to.

“But really,” you pulled away abruptly (far too soon) (much to his and his cock's annoyance), “Me, sweet? C'mon, I mean I can be… but listen if Rebecca had said one bad word about you at that table? I would have jumped across it and ripped a chunk of her hair out. No holds barred, the gloves would be off, baby.”

It was Tan’s turn to laugh, full and hearty. And hell, maybe even a little warm.

“S’my girl.”

Then he took your hand from his face and rose it above your head to spin you in a wild circle like a music box doll. Your sequel of joy was music to his ears. When he was finished with his expert twirling he pulled you firmly back to his chest. Tan wasted no time to let you catch your breath or recenter yourself in the still world before his mouth was on yours again, picking up right where you left off moments ago.

As he devoured you with his kiss and groped your body up just the way he liked, he slowly started to forget the terrible start this evening had.

Tomorrow, he’d talk to Lemon to smooth things over. Fuck, maybe even ask about the spider and how his brother was doing in the relationship, even if it pained him to think about. Sure, he was doing his best to be more in touch with his “emotions”, but the thought of a full heart to heart with Lemon did make his stomach queasy.

He’d have to decide what he needed to do in the end, but for right now with you in his arms and the promise of a hot night ahead, the discomfort of what was to come didn’t seem so bad.

well, i hope you liked it! (: not my favorite thing i've ever written, but i just really wanted to start writing fics again!! lemme know if you want some more atj stories and if you enjoyed this, i'd love to hear it with a reblog, comment or like <3

#i have two other fic ideas so theres that lmao #tangerine x reader #tangerine x oc #tangerine x you #tangerine x y/n #bullet train fanfic #bullet train fanfiction #aaron taylor johnson x reader #tangerine bullet train #stevesharrlngtons writes

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runnning-outof-time · 1 year

Note

embracing them from a sudden hug from behind but this time it's tommy!! <3

Ahh!! I’m so happy you sent another request in! 🥰 I’m sorry it took a little bit for me to get to writing it. I hope you enjoy!

You Do So Much For Us

Tommy Shelby

Warnings: none

Tommy surprises (Y/N) a few times in one night.

(Y/N) had just put the baby down to sleep after nursing and rocking him for the last half hour. She was also tired, but just couldn’t bring herself to step away from his crib. He always looked so peaceful when he slept, and it made her look at him with wonder; amazed at how she and Tommy created something so beautiful.

She was so immersed in thought that she didn’t hear the nursery door open, or the footsteps sound off the hardwood. In fact, she didn’t hear anything at all, which made her jump when two arms wrapped around her waist from behind. The sudden hug made her gasp, but her heart was quickly calmed when the smell of cigarettes and cologne filled her nostrils.

“You should know better than to sneak up on me like that, Thomas Shelby,” she scolded him quietly, being mindful not to wake the baby.

“Did I sneak up on you?” he asked her, his voice husky right next to her ear. She couldn’t stop the chills that coursed through her body upon hearing it.

“You did!” she whisper yelled, twisting her neck as best as she could in order to give him an incredulous look.

“Well for that I am truly sorry, Mrs. Shelby,” he said, nuzzling his face into her neck as he swayed her gently, his arms tightening around her abdomen as he pressed his lips to her skin.

“No you’re not,” she jokingly stated, her hands falling onto his forearms, gently running along them. “I’m surprised that you’re home so early,” she commented then, making sure to keep her voice low.

“It’s half past nine, love,” he pointed out, lifting his face enough so that he could talk without his words being muffled.

“That’s early for you, love,” she countered, using the same term of endearment that he’d just said as she spoke in a matter of fact tone. Tommy only chuckled against her skin, knowing this was a losing battle for him. “Loosen up,” she said to him then, pressing gently on his arms so that he’d get the hint and loosen his hold on her. He listened, letting go of her just enough so that she could spin in his arms to face him. “How was your day?” she asked, her hands rising so that she could fiddle with the clip that he wore on his tie.

“Fine,” he responded simply, and (Y/N) nodded, knowing that that was the extent of what she was going to get from him. “I had a talk with Pol…”

“You did?” (Y/N) answered, her eyebrows raising as surprise filled her voice. She was instantly curious as to what was talked about.

“Yeah…” Tommy trailed off, pursing his lips as he looked down at her, “she told me what it is that would make you happy.”

(Y/N)’s heart started thundering in her chest as dozens of scenarios started rushing through her mind, spurred on by Tommy’s veiled statement. “Wha…what did she tell you?” she hesitantly asked him, her eyes wide as she waited intently for his answer, knowing full well that Polly could have told him anything.

“She said that you want to go on holiday. So I figured I’d make that happen. We’ll go somewhere nice; just the two of us…”

“Tommy,” (Y/N) gasped, stopping him mid-sentence.

“She offered to take Charlie; said we can go for as long as we want,” his grin grew as he shared more details with her.

“She really said all that?” she checked to make sure this was really happening before reacting.

“I wouldn’t lie to you, love,” he answered her, watching as a wide smile formed on her face.

“That’s amazing!” she exclaimed, sucking her lips against her teeth as she realized that they were standing feet away from their sleeping son. A quick peek over Tommy’s shoulder made her relax; Charlie was still sleeping. “I can’t believe she suggested that,” she whispered this time, smiling at Tommy again.

“What did you think she told me?” he questioned, his one eyebrow quirked in curiosity.

“You’d be surprised what I share with Polly,” she paused, watching surprise fill his features, “but don’t you worry about that,” she made sure to add, patting on his chest for extra effect. Tommy only chuckled at her statement, shaking his slightly at his wife’s antics. She smiled up at him, excitement coursing through her. “We’re really going to go on holiday?” she checked with him again after a few moments had passed. It was like she wanted to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

“Yes,” he nodded his head, his smile returning, “we are. Anywhere you choose. You do so much for us, love, it’s only fair that I show you how much I appreciate you.”

“I love you,” (Y/N) smiled at him, squeezing his biceps lightly as she leaned in to press a kiss to his lips.

“I love you,” Tommy repeated the sentiment, mumbling it against her lips before he kissed them again. “I think we ought to go to bed…before Charles wakes up,” he suggested once they’d pulled away from each other.

(Y/N) peered over his shoulder again to see that the baby had, thankfully, slept through his parents’ entire conversation. “I think we should,” she agreed, frowning slightly when she realized that that meant Tommy would have to let go of her. She was quite content in his arms.

“C’mon…let’s go to bed,” he nodded towards the door, taking hold of her hand so that he could lead her out and to their bedroom.

It didn’t take long until (Y/N) was smiling again, content in Tommy’s arms as he hugged her to his body from behind. She closed her eyes, her mind full of the possible holiday destinations. She was surprisingly able to push them aside and get to sleep rather quickly…something told her that Tommy’s presence was to thank for that.

———

Tagged: @mgcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @rangerelik @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @itscheybaby @gypsy-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername @depxiety @raincoffeeandfandoms @dragons-are-my-favorite @acewritesfics @forgottenpeakywriter @cilliansangel @cljordan-imperium @areyenotfondofmelobster @little-diable

MASTERLIST

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby blurb #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby fanfiction #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x y/n #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders blurb #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

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ivy-loves-chocolate · 4 months

Note

I saw you wanted some ideas for Leon so here’s mine: you’re hiding with him in the RPD from Mr.X in the stars office, and the more you talk the more you realize you’re into each other. A small make-out session turns into something more and Mr.X becomes your last worry.

Btw, I loved your recent Leon fic :3

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ N o t e ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ I found this in my drafts with a few paragraphs written and decided to finish it. I'll start the year with a smut, haha. Thank you, anon for the idea, and I'm sorry I made you wait 🙏❤️. I hope you like this 😊. I wanna write more about him, so keep the requests coming! Also, your feedback is appreciated ❤️.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P a i r ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Leon S. Kennedy x F!Reader

I take commissions so if you're interested check my Ko-Fi. ❤️

You were both panting as you barely escaped the monster that was chasing you relentlessly all night. He was tall and strong, and bullets didn't kill him. From the distance, it looked like a normal person given the simple outfit; he was wearing a hat and a trenchcoat, both black, but from up close, he was rather scary due to his grey skin and dead eyes. The height also added to the intimidating factor.

How did he end up dressed that way? You asked yourself as you saw him kneeling on the ground. Leon just emptied a clip by shooting his head. Apparently, bullets stop him for a bit, giving you a chance to run. Still, you couldn't help but be amused by his attire.

"Who the fuck gave this thing a fedora?" You asked quietly as you passed near him. "Like, it has to be custom made or something? Look at the size of its head…"

"Probably, but I think we have more important things to worry about right now."

You hurried outside the library and never stopped running. They just kept coming… from all directions. You tried blocking some windows, but it was useless.

All this time, you followed Leon's command, as he seemed more collected, even if he was just a rookie. You had a hunch that he was trying to impress you, and you had two reasons. One, you heard him curse like a sailor around the station before meeting him—something that didn't happen when he was with you—and two, you caught him staring at you a few times. He'd looked away every time you turned your attention to him, but he couldn't hide that smirk.

"This way," he whispered as he gently closed the door behind him.

"Where to-"

"Shh," he said, pointing to the ceiling. Your face turned pale at the sight of the horrendous creature that was crawling. Its sharp, long claws tapped on the surface as he walked on all fours; its brain was popping out, and he didn't appear to have any eyes. Terrified, you froze in place, but Leon grabbed your hand and guided you into the corridor.

"Just watch your steps, ok?" he whispered again in a soft voice, trying to soothen you. "Don't look at it; you'll be fine. Just stick with me."

With steady steps, you made your way to the STARS office and closed the door behind you. Leon pressed his ear on the door, and once he heard the licker crawling away, he told you that you were safe.

You let out a sigh of relief. You hadn't realised you were holding your breath until now.

"Good. Listen, do you mind if we rest a bit here? It's too much cardio for me," you joked.

"Sure, I could use some rest too."

The STARS office was clear, and you found supplies too. Some medicine, ammo, food, and water felt like a gift sent from God. There was also an armory, but it needed to be unlocked from the computer. A reminder that your work is far from done. Still, you tried to enjoy your small break. Leon was sitting at one desk from the edge, and you were sitting next to him. Behind you was a nice brown leather jacket, which you considered taking, but it was too big to fit you. The team's belongings were intact, making you wonder why they closed the unit so suddenly.

"Where do you think they are? Do you think they are safe?" you asked Leon, who was busy starring in the blank.

"They are probably doing better than we are. Those guys were elite."

"I think we're holding up pretty well, considering you're a rookie and I never touched a gun."

"Yeah…you almost blasted my brains back then," he chuckled.

"I'm sorry about that." You said it soflty and gently squeezed his forearm as a sign of comfort. "But you burst through that door, and I panicked."

"It's alright," he said, smiling. He smoothly slid his arm to the edge so he could grab your hand. Your fingers intertwined quickly.

"Thanks for the quick lesson, tho…it came in handy."

"No problem, you're a natural," he winked, which made you blush.

"Yeah, but I kinda had a great teacher."

"What can I say? I work best under stress."

You both chuckled. A short pause followed, in which both of you just stared at each other. Leon wanted to say so many things to you. He wanted to praise you for being so brave and for taking care of him; he wanted to tell you how lucky he feels to have found you in this mess, but he didn't know where to start.

"You ok?" you asked, seeing that he got lost in his thoughts again.

"Yeah, I'm fine… I was grateful for having you with me; that's all."

"Really? For a moment, I thought I slowed you down."

"Me slowing you down? You're faster than me. You actually left me behind a couple of times."

"Oh, that? I thought you did that on purpose...just trying to get rid of me."

He chuckled.

"Nah...I never wished to get rid of you. I really like having you around." He said.

"Me too..."

Neither of you let go of the other's hand.

You both stopped talking. Your smiles dropped and your eyes closed as you leaned forward towards each other. Soon, your lips touched over and over again, filling the room with faint sounds of kissing. You were both shy at first, but Leon got more courageous and came closer to you. His hands found your waist, and you cupped his face, prolonging the kiss. Soon, you felt Leon's tongue trying to find yours, and the kiss got a lot more intense.

Not carrying about Mr.X and other threats, you climbed onto Leon's lap and continued to kiss him with the same passion. Now you were closer to each other as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and he wrapped his big arms around your waist, hugging you and keeping you close.

It shows that Leon craved this kind of affection and intimacy from the sweet whimpers that came out occasionally.

"Wait…" he said as he broke the kiss. "I know a more comfortable chair…"

You didn't know what he meant until he suddenly stood up while managing to carry you and went to Wesker's office. He was a strong fella.

On his way, he never ceased to kiss you, becoming even more eager.

He sat on Wesker's chair, which was more comfortable and much bigger than the previous one. Since your legs had more room to rest, you had the strength to roll your hips over his crotch, letting out small, deep whimpers as you felt his bulge growing between your legs.

His hands squeezed your flesh as they ran along your waist. His muscles relaxed under your precise movements. His needy whines filled the room as you kept moving faster.

"Y/N…" He whispered shyly, breaking the kiss for a few seconds before coming to taste your lips again. He felt his cock throbbing in his pants. He wanted you; he craved you. It was unbearable.

You felt the same way, and your cunt was throbbing with excitement as you thought about him inside you…he felt…big…

With fast movements, you took your pants off, and then you proceeded to strip him off. His cock jumped in the air once his boxers slipped past those big thighs of his, and oh, what a sigh it was. He was long, thick, and leaked heavily in front of your eyes. You watched how a droplet of his precum glided along his length, making you drool. His tip glistered as it was basically drenched in his own juices.

You teasingly tapped his tip with one of your fingers, which made him whine loudly.

"Y/N…" he said, his attempt to maintain his composure being obvious.

"Shh. Just stick with me." You said this, looking at him with siren eyes.

You climbed back, one leg slidding next to him, and the other followed slowly. You raised a bit and aligned yourself above his tip. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you began to descend slowly and gasped when you felt his cock entering inside you. When he felt himself inside you, he pulled you again in a passionate, eager kiss.

Moans and whimpers filled Wesker's office quickly. You let out sharp, deep exhales as you took more and more of him. You struggled a bit at first, but both of you were so wet that after a few thrusts, you slid up and down with ease. Leon moved his hands to your ass, squeezing your cheeks hard with every throb of his cock. Not only did you feel him leak inside you, but you also felt how he rubbed that sweet spot inside you. It was pure bliss, which turned your mind foggy.

He also thrust his hips from beneath you, matching your own rhythm. You allowed yourselves to sink deeper into each other's touch without being bothered by what was happening out there. The kiss became messier, the touching more intense, and the thrusts more erratic as you chased your own release.

However, Leon felt that his time would come sooner, so he lifted you spontaneously and placed you on the desk, knocking down everything that would make you uncomfortable. Was that too loud? He didn't care.

"You are so strong, officer." You teased him and gave him the same dirty look, enjoying how that made him visibly weaker. He rolled his eyes and lowered his head a bit to the side, trying to hide his blushing cheeks.

His cock was halfway inside you now, and his arm rested near your head. With a deep breath, he began to thrust inside you, and he maintained eye contact this time. His face was still red, but not because of embarrassment, but because of how good your cunt made him feel. You wrapped your legs around his waist so you could feel him deeper.

His pace was slow at first, and he didn't go all in. It was pleasant, of course, but you wanted more, so you gently pulled him closer with your legs.

Understanding your intentions, he went all in, his balls constantly slapping your skin with each thrust. His breathing became faster, and your moans became louder as he finally hit that spot inside you again. When he picked up the pace, he placed his big thumb at your clit and stroked it fast. You felt a familiar pressure in your lower belly, and your throbbing cunt gave him a clue that you were about to cum.

"Leon…don't stop…" You said it between whimpers.

With his final strength, he went even faster with both his thrusts and strokes, and finally, he felt your wall clenching around his cock. With rolled eyes and curled toes, you grabbed his forearms as the orgasm hit you hard. A few seconds after your climax, you heard his moans getting louder. Then you felt hot spurts of his cum filling you up fast.

Both of you were trying to catch your breath now. Leon collapsed on top of you and allowed himself to indugle with your gentle touch for a few moments. Your arms were tightly wrapped around his tired body, with one hand playing with some strands of his blonde, smooth hair. The other caressed his back.

His nose was buried in your neck, enjoying the warmth and comfort that your body provided.

"I never thought I'd get laid on my first day as a police officer," he muffled, making you chuckle.

"Well, I bet you never expected a zombie apocalypse either."

"To be honest, if you would've asked me a few days ago which was more likely to happen, I'd go for the zombie apocalypse."

You chuckle again.

"You need to be more confident, Leon." Your fingers moved to his nape. "You're a great guy."

Once he felt your feather-like touch, he sighed with satisfaction.

"Oh yeah, just like that."

You began to massage gently. All this time, he remained inside you, and neither of you protested.

"You like that?"

He let out an affirmative hum.

"I'll tell you what," you began in a soft, calming voice. "When this is over, we keep in touch and go on a normal date. To get to know each other, you know?"

"Sounds good, but we need to get out of here in one piece…"

"Hmm…yeah…let's do that then."

He pulled out eventually and helped you get dressed.

You slowly made your way out of the STARS office, then made your way further into the station, looking for a way out. Now you look at the situation with a little more hope. Maybe it's because of the sex, or maybe you realised you have someone to count on. Who knows, but one thing is sure: you lived to go on your first date.

Tag-list: @lunarastrobabe @skylar-todd@rokurodokuro@brownsugarwrites (if you want to be added DM me 🤗)

#resident evil #resident evil leon #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x f!reader #leon kennedy x you #leon re2 #resident evil 2 remake

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pedgito · 2 years

Note

Hiii!!! You are so talented I love the way you write, I seriously could read your fics for days. Was hoping I could request something with Eddie where like him and reader have been friends for a long time but recently there’s all this ~tension~ and then the reader catches Eddie touching himself and he thinks he’s alone so he’s moaning her name and all bets are off 🫣🫣 (this is pure filth I’m sorry)

author’s note: i'm sorry to whoever sent this that it took so long, but i finally had the surge of motivation to write it and hope it isn't too bad, so enjoy!

cw: 18+ (minors dni), accidental voyeurism turned non-accidental, masturbation (male), leaded orgasm/orgasm denial, established friendship, they're both so sexually frustrated with each other, this also take place is the woods so it's technically open to the public? but no one's around, if i missed anything lmk!

word count: 2.5k

Eddie’s fist hits the table in frustration, chipped wood flying up in protest, the dilapidated picnic table near its last leg on this earth—it was a wonder it could still hold that weight of someone without stalling in half. Eddie sighs heavily, climbing up the seat to plop himself on top, hands moving to rest behind him, helping him stay upright but reclined enough to allow him to relax.

He couldn’t fucking stand it anymore; the sight of you.

It seemed arbitrary and petty, but it was becoming a problem. You’d found just about every possible way to get under his skin, pressing all the right buttons to set him off. It hadn’t always been that way either, only recently—one long night at Hellfire, a heated argument that had nothing to do with the actual game and ended up cutting the campaign short. Eddie bid everyone a clipped and dismissive wave that night, shooing them off in annoyance.

You’ve always been friends, that hadn’t changed, but it didn’t take long for him to notice the small changes; switching up your outfits for something a little more risque, openly flirting with others in front of him—which shouldn’t bother him, but it definitely does. He hates when you ask him for advice, not that he would be much help, but because he doesn’t want to give you semblance of an idea that you should go off and wrap yourself up with someone—not with how desperately he wanted to be with you—he wasn’t sure he’d ever find the courage to tell you that, though.

Anyways, the night before was what finally set him off—tired of your antics and comments, the subtle, teasing touches you’d leave against his skin in passing—normally you’d sit across from him, several feet away, but you switched with Dustin that night, perched right beside him.

Eddie sat back in his felt throne, fingers talking against the arm of the chair. You knock his foot gently, sending him a warm smile, eyes creasing at the corners. The one he returns is forced, bubbling with annoyance. He was a fuse set to blow and he surely did.

To you, it didn’t make sense. Eddie spent so much time on his music, Hellfire, and everything else that seemed more interesting than you—and sure, it was; but your friendship felt like it had been shifted to the back burner lately.

It’s part of the reason why you started to branch out, knowing that your advances would never be noticed—Eddie too wrapped up in his own problems that it seemed pointless; he had a lot to deal with and you were the last thing on his mind, or so you thought.

You both were running in circles when all you needed to do was talk—you were two incredibly stubborn individuals.

He thinks about lighting up the joint tucked behind his ear, wondering if it will ease the anxiety he felt, it still didn’t feel like enough. His legs widen slightly, feet planted on the bench of the table. He half hesitates on the idea of rubbing one out, knowing that it could satiate the running thoughts in his brain if he just tried; allow the cloudy haze of pleasure to wash over him.

Fuck it—no one ever comes out here, anyways. It wasn’t the first time and it surely wouldn’t be the last.

He palms himself over the front of his jeans lightly, soft dick hardening at the touch, almost to full mast after a few long drags of his open hand, head hanging back slightly as he breathed out.

All he had to do was picture you and he was done for. You were the only thing he pictured anymore, the cheesy porno mags never enough anymore—not after he got caught in your trap, stuck on the idea of you.

He always pictured you underneath him, sometimes bound by your hands, cuffs pulled tight to keep you from moving, moans loud and desperate as he pounded into you, almost relentless—but sometimes it was slow, and he wondered how you hands would feel wondering his body, allowing you to discover new things about him that you were previously oblivious to; how he liked to be touch or what kinds of noises he made when your hand came to wrap around his dick.

It was all a sick fantasy.

˚ · • . ° .

You didn’t normally come out to Eddie’s spot that often, knowing how he liked to keep the secrecy to his customers and leave prying eyes out of the equation—he didn’t need to end up in prison before graduating. Wayne would surely murder him.

But, you felt guilty, wanting the pointless arguing and fights to be done—you just wanted your friend back, knowing that was all he’d ever be. You could settle for that, having Eddie in any sense was all that mattered to you.

The wet leaves are like mush underneath your steps, forming around and sticking to your shoes—you figure it’s smarter to be quiet than loud, knowing that there were still students a half a mile away, sure to hear the scream that Eddie would let out if you ran up on him—when you’re finally through the thick brush of trees and stray branches, you spot him.

He’s relaxed, back to you, probably fiddling with the zipper of his denim jacket or twisting at the frayed lace of his shoe—Eddie enjoyed being alone, as much as he surrounded himself with friends at school.

You hear a small noise, wondering if he’s talking to himself—your steps are timid, almost questioning your own movements as you grow closer. His head falls back, a mess of curls dangling, begging to be tugged at.

And then he moans—steady and unashamed, but then you hear your name, and that definitely isn’t a trick. You heard it, you saw the way his lips curled around the word. He shifts further and you can see the way he’s tugging at himself, bare dick in his hands, caught in small wordless gasp as his thumb swipes against the underside of his cock, dragging slowly over the tip.

You gasp involuntarily, hand clasping over your mouth in shock. Eddie scrambled at the noise, fear of being caught finally coming true, his heart palpated in panic, the tinge of pain evident as he turned to look behind him, dark eyes falling on you.

Of course—out of everyone, it had to be you.

“Fuck—“ He sounds wrecked, it should turn you on as much as it does, legs clenching together slightly, “what the hell are you doing out here?”

His words come out like venom, clenched teeth and tense jaw. He was still upset, clearly. This was a mistake. You stutter for a response, still trying to process what was happening.

Eddie hadn’t even made much of an attempt to move, hand barely covering himself, not a single try at making himself decent—he’s just staring, waiting for an answer.

“I—I came to apologize,” You offer weakly, “But, I mean—clearly you aren’t mad anymore—“

He’d said your name, you think. You weren’t hallucinating.

“So, what, you like sneaking up on people now?”

Your brows furrow in annoyance, “What? No. You’re the one jerking off in the middle of the fucking woods—you want to talk about that?”

Eddie pulls back at your words, watching you as you take several steps near him, far too close for comfort, not with his dick still heavy in his hands.

“Needed to let off some steam,” He offers weakly, trying to seem dismissive, “how much did you see?”

All of it.

“Enough,” You tell him, eyes glancing toward where his hands covered himself, wondering why you were the name that left his mouth as he felt himself up, the boldness overtakes you, the chance to tease him even further was too good of an opportunity to pass up, “you do that often?”

“What?”

“Think about me?” You laugh softly at the idea, but Eddie doesn’t appreciate it.

It wasn’t a joke to him.

“You askin’ me to be honest with you?”

You nod confidently, arms crossed over your chest.

“All the time.” He admits—and it feels good to admit that, tired of forcing it down all the time.

You don’t know what to say, eyes caught between his heated gaze and the hands covering his noticeable hard dick, still having not let up—if anything, it was worse.

“Well—are you just gonna keep standing there?” Eddie asks with an amused look, the edge of his mouth pulling upwards in a smirk. “Or, do you wanna help?”

“What?”

“That’s why you’re still standing there, isn’t it?”

And it was a good fucking question—but, you knew exactly why. As shameful as it felt, you wanted him to continue; you wanted to watch him fall apart to the idea of you, your name falling from his lips one more time.

“That’s what I thought,” Eddie chides, taking note of the way your eyes connect with his, a silent confirmation that you wanted this just as badly as he did, “come here.”

He nods to the area next time and your feet move faster than you can process, nearly scrambling to his side.

“You just wanna watch?” He asks softly, “Or?”

Touch me—he can’t bring himself to say the words, afraid that he might be dreaming this.

“Can I?” You ask timidly, hand coming up to rest against his inner thigh, his hands rubbing against his stiff erection.

He nods furiously, moving his own hands to allow yours to take over—he’s warm and heavy in your hands, your fingers wrapping around the width of him and pulling a few times.

You’ve only done this a few times, still, it felt odd. You weren’t sure what he liked or what he wanted, he wasn’t very vocal—at the moment, at least.

“Like this,” He instructs, realizing your hesitation. His large hand wraps around your own, setting a steady, tight pace against his cock, tugging at the length of his dick in earnest. He sighs outwardly, head falling back once again. His chest heaves, neck reddening in a deep blush, “fuck—yeah, that’s it.”

Selfishly, you really wanted to just watch—watch him fall apart by his own doing, like he originally planned to. He notices the perplexed look on your face, so mesmerized by his hand working against your own, joints flexing underneath the skin.

“What’s wrong?” He forced out, eyes half lidded as he looked over at you. “Do you want to stop?”

You shake your head honestly, letting the words fall from your lips quietly, “I—I do wanna watch you.”

“Like, you wanna watch me jerk off?” The absurdity of the question has him chuckling into his fist, allowing you to pull your own hand away. “Really?”

He wasn’t judging—definitely not. He was the last person on earth to ever think about doing that.

“Yeah,” You say timidly, “Just…act like I'm not here, you know?”

“I don’t think that’s possible, sweetheart.” He says endearingly, hands returning to his own dick instinctively, begging to ease that ache. “But, I’ll try.”

You watch eagerly, enraptured at how easily he falls back into a rhythm, licking at the palm of his hand to allow for an easy glide of his hand, the friction almost overwhelming as he continues his movements, eyes falling shut.

“Fuck—“ He curses, a small grunt slipping out in weakness, eyes squeezing shut as he squeezes harder, tugging himself at a quick, hurried pace—allowing himself to reach the edge, nearly, before squeezing the base of himself, cutting the feeling short, “—sorry, this is kinda new to me.”

“What?”

“Being watched,” He points out, eyes opening to connect with yours. It has his dick twitching in his hands, sending a pulse straight to your cunt, “it’s not bad, though.”

If you weren't so ashamed for watching, you’d join him—but, this was for him; a punishment, even, for being so difficult with you all the time.

“Wanna try something?” Eddie asks curiously, voice strained.

You nod nervously, wondering where his wild brain was attempting to take this.

“Tell me when to stop and I will, it doesn't matter if I’m about to come or not.” He instructs, “I’ll listen to you.”

“Oh—okay,” You answered hesitantly, watching as he continued at a slow place, listening for your voice, “sped up—a little.”

He laughs softly, the swift tugs at his dick as he squeezes gently at the head forcing desperate noises to fall from his mouth, something you thought you’d never have the chance to hear.

It’s glorious.

After a while, you perk up, “Faster,” You say quietly, and he obeys immediately, working himself over quickly, his chest rising and falling rapidly, shirt rising up to show the soft, smooth expanse of his lower stomach and the soft patch of hair that led to his groin—you want to reach out and touch him, it’s almost instinctual. Eddie whines on a particular flick of his wrist, mouth open in a deep groan as he almost allows himself that release, only for you to stop him dead in his tracks again, “Stop.” Your voice is steady, surprising both of you.

Eddie laughs in anguish, “I knew you’d be into this,” He teases, his hooded gaze catching your own, “dunno how much longer I can listen, though—really wanna come, sweetheart.”

You reach forward to squeeze gently at his arm, indulging in the earlier thought of wanting to touch him—there was no time like now, letting your hand slide over the expanse of his stomach, feeling the muscle flex against your hand. He watched carefully, eyes stuck on the movement of your hand.

It’s your touch that sets him off, the soft lilt of your voice as you whisper into his ear, “Then come.” You tell him.

And he does, too quickly, tugging at his dick until he’s spilling over his hand and against his stomach, and in turn, your own hand, as you couldn’t be bothered to move—too mesmerized by his face as he reaches his release. His teeth grit together, eyes struggling to stay open as his orgasm hits him hard and intense, worse than he’s ever felt before. He moans out, nearly convulsing at the peak of it all, panting deeply on the descent back down, laughing exasperatingly.

“Jesus Christ,” He sighs tiredly, motioning to the handkerchief in his back pocket, “you mind?”

You laugh quietly, pulling at the small square of material stuffed in his back pocket to hand over, letting him carefully clean up the mess that covered your fingers—a little too lovingly, lingering on the casual touches of his fingers dragging against your own—you weren’t sure why that was what felt the most intimate out of all this.

“So, are you still mad at me?” He asks curiously, knowing the perfect remedy to breaking the tension. “Because if you are, this is pretty awkward.”

“Depends.” You respond teasingly.

“On?”

“If we get to do that again.”

Eddie smiles wide, allowing himself to look somewhat presentable again, tugging at his zipper as he buttoned his pants back up. “You free this weekend then?”

You nod furiously.

“Good,” His smile turns devilish, like he’s on to something, “You're next.”

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #my writing #1kfic

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roosterr · 5 months

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I had a cute little idea for the requests where it could be a platonic Simon and Reader where they can tell Simon’s stressed post-mission possibly from flashbacks or just a mission going wrong and whatnot and gets him to go with them for take out just to try and let Simon know they have someone to lean off if need be 🥺

this is so sweet :,) please enjoy anon!

(platonic) simon ghost riley & gn!reader

wc: 1k ao3

ghost is an expert in disguising how he's really feeling. you can only glean so much from just his eyes, the rest of his expression perpetually hidden beneath his mask and leaving most people oblivious to his mood.

you, however, are not most people.

it subtle, but the tells are there if you know what to look for. lately he's been more irritable than usual, snapping at people and losing his patience at things that typically wouldn’t faze him. you don't think anyone else has picked up on the tension in his shoulders, something that’s clear to you after all the time you've spent with him.

it's made especially obvious that something’s going on with him in the way he jolts when you open the door to his office. his head snaps up to look at you, the icy look he sends you only fueling your concern for his out of character reaction.

"haven't you heard of knockin'?" he growls from behind his desk, papers scattered over the surface, and if he wasn’t still wearing the balaclava you’re sure his hair would be in a similarly dishevelled state from how his fingers worry his head.

"...i did." you shut the door behind you, and with dismissive a roll of his eyes ghost looks back down to his work and does his best to ignore you.

the longer you watch him, the more exhausted he seems; you can see the bags under his eyes now the eyeblack has been washed away, and the slight tremor in his hands as he attempts to write in a legible way.

people have been talking, you hear them gossiping about how they’ve seen ghost roaming the halls late at night. none of them thought anything of it, but you knew that meant it was getting bad again, so you decide to just bite the bullet and try your luck. "you got a sec?"

he glances up at you, eyes sharp under his furrowed brow, letting your question hang in the air for a moment. you wait in silence for his response, only the rhythmic ticking of the clock for background noise.

"just spit it out." he finally grumbles, dropping his pen and crossing his arms over his chest as he leans back in his chair. you take it as a good sign that he didn’t outright tell you to piss off.

"i'm going for takeout, do you wanna come with me?" you try, a hopeful little smile on you lips as you slowly approach his desk. his eyes follow your movement, unreadable, and there's another pause before he answers.

"ask one of the others."

"i would’ve if i wanted to." you reply, smile deflated slightly by his clipped tone. he doesn’t react, simply observes you with the same deadpan stare, but you won’t give up that easily. "c’mon, mate, i'll pay?"

at that ghost releases a long sigh, letting his eyes fall shut in a slow blink before pushing himself to stand. "...if you insist."

you grin, a sense of triumph coming over you as he rounds his desk and gestures for you to move. both the walk to your car and the drive into town are spent in relative quiet, the space where ghost would usually respond to you with quips of his own filled only by his short hums.

you don't push or pry, you know he's not quite himself at the moment – it was the whole reason you were doing this, after all.

you let ghost choose where to eat, despite this being your idea, and he settles on that greasy pizza place you always seem to end up at on a night out. he still doesn't say much as you're ordering, or while you're leaning on the wall outside waiting for your food, until you speak up and voice what you’ve been thinking for the last week or so.

"look, i know you like keeping it to yourself, but," you start, watching the cars go by to avoid his gaze, "you can always talk to me, ghost."

"cheers." if you were anyone else, you'd be fooled by the ease in which he brushes you off, but there's something else in his voice as he replies. "you gonna give me a motivational speech?"

"i know you don't think anyone notices, but i do." your voice is low as you look over to him, the look on his face decidedly sadder than earlier in the dim evening light. "if i can help you, i want to."

his movement stutters, pausing with his hand halfway through rubbing his eyes like you'd caught him of guard with what you said. you're almost worried he'll shut down completely, but a second later he mumbles, "...you don't have to do that."

you huff. "you heard me, i want to."

"why? you got your own issues, no point boggin' yourself down with mine too."

"you're my friend, ghost. that's how it's supposed to be." you reply, nudging his arm with your elbow. he's stiff under your touch but, unlike earlier, his shoulders sag and his hands have stopped trembling. "you tell me your troubles, and we deal with it together. two heads are better than one an'all that."

"thank you."

you almost miss the whisper. you do your best not to react before he looks away again, trying not to make a big deal out of his vulnerability. instead, the two of you go back to standing side by side in silence, watching the world go by with a lot more peace than before.

your order is eventually called out, and ghost goes inside to collect it while you wait outside. it may not be much, but you're glad he didn't completely shut you out. you're not sure you know anyone who deserves a shoulder to lean on more than ghost.

when he comes back out you reach to take the boxes from him, but he just shoves a twenty pound note into your hand, and before you can react he's already marching back to the car.

"hey, i said i'd pay!" you call, a fond smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you jog after him.

"course i'm not lettin' you pay, you twat." he glares back at you, but the look holds no malice. a beat passes before his face softens almost imperceptibly and he adds in a quiet murmur, "not after all that."

#ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #mw2 x reader #cod x reader #141 x reader #call of duty x reader #mw2 #cod mw2 #call of duty #simon ghost riley #mw2 ghost #roosterr writes

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thatsonemorbidcorvid · 1 year

Text

“I read my colleague Hadley Freeman’s column in The Sunday Times this weekend in a growing state of shock. Hadley described how, on three occasions, a man had choked her in bed. I then read the section in Escape, the book she references, written by another journalist, Marie Le Conte. Le Conte writes that choking during sex was “mainstream” among those under 40. “If I were to rank it,” says Le Conte, “I would say it sits somewhere around the light spanking mark . . . not so out of the ordinary that you would mention it to someone.”

Readers around my age, 58, will appreciate how I felt. Never mind incorporating strangulation into sex, we belong to a generation where the “light spanking” Le Conte references is itself regarded as a bit weird, a bit pervy, a bit “why would you want to hit someone, or be hit by someone, in bed?” As regards throttling a partner, a phrase I am shocked to find myself writing, that belongs in my mind to the realm of bullies, abusers, thugs, misogynists, rapists. Very niche. Very sinister. Very illegal.

I would regard even pretending to strangle a partner as an outrage. If a male friend told me such behaviour turned him on, that friendship would end. If I contemplated doing it myself, I’d get therapy. And let’s be clear, the choking under discussion, which a study last year found almost 60 per cent of female students in the US had experienced, does not refer to play-acting, but actual hands round the throat, pressure on the windpipe, possible-loss-of-consciousness suffocation. WTF?

When I got to work yesterday morning three younger female colleagues — in their forties, thirties and twenties respectively — confirmed how widespread the practice is. I suppose when Men’s Health carries idiotic articles headlined “how to do choking safely, according to experts” I should have known asphyxiation-as-foreplay had become, if a long way from normal, then at least normalised. All three women said they had encountered it, along with being slapped, hair-pulled and spat on (eh?!) by male partners. None had welcomed any of these actions.

I should emphasise that these were not super-traumatic encounters with evil psychos, but otherwise consensual acts with otherwise normal blokes. Not pleasurable in any way, but not, I gathered, a massive deal either, such is the extent to which formerly minority, hardcore aberrations have entered the everyday bedroom experience.

The youngest colleague told me several of her female friends did enjoy the experience. I’m sceptical about that. I fail to see how partial suffocation by someone physically stronger, someone you don’t necessarily know well, with no help at hand, can be anything other than terrifying. I find it more likely that some young women, not yet fully confident, have been persuaded that being choked is not only not weird, but now a standard aspect of sex to which they ought to submit. Human beings are hard-wired for self-preservation: oxygen deprivation is something we desperately strive to avoid, not embrace. I’m in no doubt that the vast majority of women subjected to choking do not like it, to put it mildly.

What shocks me is why men, so-called normal men who aren’t sadists who ought to be locked up, would want to strangle their lover in the first place. Of course the easy answer is the malign influence of protracted youthful exposure to pornography. Such exposure has, it is argued, normalised sexual behaviour previously thought extreme. And yet it is possible to view porn without going anywhere near clips of men choking women.

A correctly socialised teenage boy in receipt of the correct moral guidance would shut down such content in a cold sweat should his cursor so much as inadvertently hover over a link. Yet evidently lots of boys and young men blithely consume the dodgy stuff, presumably not knowing it is dodgy. They then expect to mimic it when their sex lives begin to encompass people other than themselves.

Therefore, older people, parents, specifically fathers, are not doing their job properly. Shame on them. They should be telling their sons that all sexual violence is despicable, full stop. We’re not in groovy, liberal, “each to their own” territory here. We’re not talking dress-up or role play. We’re talking about actions which are at best distressing and degrading, and at worst deadly. This behaviour should not be up for discussion. It’s just plain wrong.”

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tootoomanycats · 7 months

Text

Smut Teaser for "Performances"

18+ ONLY | Minors DNIW I hope you all are ready for a little taste of what's to cum *nudge nudge, wink wink*. I spent the last two nights up until 4 a.m. writing and editing this "little" clip. This was written with Hoziers "Eat Your Young" and "Movement" playing on a loop in the background, which really does fit the vibe TBH. Forgive me folks if there are errors and as always with my teasers do remember that changes and editing may happen when the finished chapters are posted. If you enjoyed this teaser please do not forget to like and follow for updates! Pairings: Fem x Buggy (live-action or anime) Setting: When Buggy is working with Mihawk and Crocodile (but not mentioned here) Warnings: Vag/Pen penetration, Fem Riding, Hair Pulling, Emotional inner turmoil (buggy) , Fem falling for Buggy more and more every second, mentions of anal and squirting, dominant energy switching back and forth between the two.

His ungloved hands cemented her hips to his preventing even a millimeter of movement more. Sharp teeth scraped across her shoulder bone, ending with lightly drooling lips pressed to a kiss. Glancing down the hot breath caught in her chest at the most beautiful site. Blue eyes pinched shut almost in an expression of pain, makeup rubbed off completely, round nose lightly squished into her arm. The aqua hair that was normally kept up and hidden was now a mess of waves down his back from their activities With his body still frozen from overstimulation, she pressed soft tender kisses to his temple. Swollen bottom lip dragged just slightly against his forehead and cheeks as she did as his body needed, keeping where they were joined perfectly still. She could feel his back shudder from ragged breaths as he tried to calm back down and not lose himself so soon, as badly as every never and fiber of skin wanted to. A sigh relaxed the tension in his shoulders as he enjoyed the way her mouth wandered from his face to his ear, nimble fingers looping strands of hair behind it, giving access to a hot wet tongue that outlines the shell before nibbling and sucking on the lobe.

A deep groan was both heard and felt as he buried his face into her neck, calloused hands moving up from her hips to wrap around a lithe waist and rib cage, softly gripping handfuls of skin. He was terrified of cumming too soon and possibly ending this moment that had taken so long to get. Trying desperately not to think that it might be the only one he’ll get, knowing the lies he knew now.

Pressing down feelings of betrayal and anger, an inner voice reminded him that one night was allowed, only tonight, to forget the truth and believe the farce. That she wanted him as much as he wanted her. That her gentle touches, compassionate check-ins, and supple movements were real and only for him.

That the bed would not be left cold and empty come sunrise.

Arms slid slowly, a hand cupping one side of his face to bring his eyes to hers. Rich dark colors staring back into sky blue ones, her throat gulped as the courage built to give an experimental rock of hips down together again. Both sighing in pleasure, and before he could try to hide his face again, long fingers gripped the edges of red lipstick lines, keeping it facing hers as she asked so sweetly “How does this feel? Do you want to take a break?”

He could have cried and screamed all at once right then and there. How desperate the desire to give in and fully believe that everything was real beaconed to his heart but also, how much the burning sensation to be the maniac he was clawed from the pit within to get out. To show her how much he could take from her, as she had from him. But something broke when he finally observed her expression, the detail of her brow-bone softening, head tilted down so redwood eyes could almost be at the level to give a show of concern. She cared, he reminded himself, tonight he allowed himself to believe that she cared.

“Slowly, it’s been a while since…” he trailed off eyes never leaving hers as she nodded in understanding, whispering a quiet response “I understand, it’s been a few years for me- “he looked shocked cutting her off “Years!? But you’re perfect!”

They both froze. Adams apple bobbing at the slip-up, words had been stated so matter of fact as if it were common knowledge everyone man woman and child knew. Only the howling wind filled the room, the silence was deafening. His jaw clenched tightly as she grabbed hold of his face, gasp catching in his mouth as hips rocked down on him, dragging lips close to hers as he moaned.

“What I would give” another slow and torturous row of hips, “for you to see yourself the way I do”. The ability to look away didn’t exist, even blinking terrified him, it was as if he had been hypnotized in place. His eyes did roll halfway back at the feel of her walls taking every inch of him, wetness and heat enveloping the thick girth and his mushroomed head kissing her cervix so sweetly at such a slow pace, it was heaven.

He swore he would have cum right then and there, but her eyes kept his soul locked in. His hands moved finally, shakily, one gripping her hip and the other running to the base of her neck threading fingers into her thick hair. Giving an experimental grip the air left his belly when he heard her finally moan. Her hips gave a particularly long and languid bounce in response to his touch. Everything had been so gentle, so tender up until that bounce. He didn’t mean to - maybe he did - but the grip of his hands and the muscle twitch of his arm caused her downward momentum to snap her cunt to his cock, roughly.

Both foreheads connected when she reached his base and they fully connected again. Eyes fluttered as a surprised moan slipped out. Just before Buggy could start to apologize, a sly smile had formed on her lips, another rough bounce caught him off guard causing a deep “Fuck!” to escape.

Warm soft hands cupped his face their eyes locking, never relenting on the new slow and rough pace. Slow raises followed by quick snaps, whimpers leaving his lips as she kept that sly smile still “I wish I could keep a painting of you, as you are right now.”

She watched as the most beautiful blush covered his cheeks before he hid his face in the crook of her neck. Hands gripping her hips and forcing the pace to quicken. It was her turn to whimper as the control slipped back to him. Expression changing from one of a sly fox to an open O and pleading eyes. “Would you touch yourself when you looked at it?”

“Oh fuck, Buggy” the whisper hurriedly came out. She loved the tug and pull of who would be in control. Sounds of skin slapping on skin filled the room and soon enough so did the echoes of how wet that skin was. “Keep those eyes on me, baby, that’s it. We don’t want to miss anything now do we?” He asked in an almost sarcastic tone as he could tell she was getting caught up in the moment. “If you keep doing that I’m going to-“his head tilted as that all too familiar crazed look came back to his eyes, “What sweetheart, you gonna cum on my cock?” Crying out shaking her head.

“You’ll make me squirt”

A deep whining moan left his chest, grabbing her face with now detached hands, his forearms forcing her hips to continue their bouncing movements. “Oh you are a fucking treat you know that?” His breath was filled with gasps as he spoke. Left hand reached between them as it gave pressured circles to her swollen clit. Wetness pooling where they connected making his fingers all the slicker.

The floating right hand slipped up her back, threading his fingers into her hair, forcing her to look down at where they were connected. Both watched as his hand was making quick work of her clit, the girth of his cock forcing her cunt to stretch wide to take all of it.

“What other little surprises do you have for me, hu?” Heart pounding in her ears, the tips turning bright red. Between the degrading and teasing tone coupled with his praising words and controlled touches, it was hard not to feel dizzy. “I-I…” Chuckling he gave a rather rough tug on her hair “What was that sweetheart? Try again, I know you can do it”, he whispered into her temple, holding her face close to his for more skin-to-skin contact. The whimper she gave was music to his ears.

“I…. oh my god, Buggy” Gulping to wet her dry tongue, a whimper of words barely reached his ears. If she said what he thought, did she….

He paused his movements and placed his ear next to her lips. “Hunny I’m gonna need to hear you repeat that because it almost sounded like you said-“another whimper left her lips as her face bloomed red in embarrassment.

“I-I like anal.”

Using the handle he had on her hair, she was pulled back to fully sit on his cock, both groaning out in pleasure as he bottomed out, finally.

“You really are fucking perfect arnt you?”

#buggy smut #buggy d clown #buggy fanart #buggy one piece #buggy the clown #buggy the genius jester #buggy thoughts #buggy x oc #buggy x reader #buggy x y/n #one piece buggy #captain buggy #buggy brain rot #buggy babbles #op buggy

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sports-on-sundays · 8 months

Text

prince not so charming / CL16 / PART 5

Warnings : Nausea, vomiting, mention of sex, nudity (not described much), giving birth (not described much), switching from second to third person once at the end

Summary : Charles x princess!reader - Charles and his princess face the possibility of a child.

Author's Note : This is the last part! Thank you to everyone who has enjoyed this, as this little series was my first bit of writings on tumblr ! If you enjoyed it, and are a fan of football or F1, I encourage you to check out my pinned post, because I do take requests ! But overall, special thanks from the bottom of my heart for everyone who read, liked, and reblogged this! And enjoyed it!

Here is the link to part 4, which contains a link to part 3, which contains a link to part 2, which contains a link to part 1.

Whoosh. Clip clop clip clop clop clickity clop clip. Fwoom. People chatter all around you, and some passionate individuals further from you scream out towards the track as the chariots go by.

All the noise and dust. You feel thankful for you umbrella, protecting yourself from the sun that could be beaming on you.

You're used to this. You've been to a few more of Charles' races since you married. It's something you're interested in watching. Not to mention that it's also supporting your husband of course.

So you're used to this.

So why, today, does it all seem to be to much? Why does the dust seem a little too hard to breathe, the sun a little too hot, and the sounds a little too loud?

You rub your head, trying to push the uncomfortable feeling out of your stomach. But there's nowhere for it to go.

Oh goodness. How much longer until this race ends?

You keep your mouth clamped shut as you feel anxiety sink in. You feel nauseous... And tired... So tired... And frankly, weak.

Please, Charles. Hurry up. I need this race to finish. I'm not feeling well.

The heat spins, making everything blend together into a mush of colors, and then your hand clamps over your mouth in panic. The umbrella drops from your shaking hand as you run out of the stands, tripping on your pink skirts multiple times. You don't care. You're sure they're now all dirty on bottom, but you just have to get out of here as fast as you can.

The moment you're out, you can no longer hold it back. In a corner, you vomit, tears coming from your eyes along with it, in shame of running out like that, and of throwing up in public like this, just on the ground.

You're glad your hair is tied up in a tight bun.

Finally, you finish, gasping. You stand there, feeling terrible, as your legs shake, your head spins, and your lip quivers. You breathe deeply, unsure of what to do, when suddenly your savior arrives.

Your savior also just happens to be your husband.

"Y/n!" he exclaims after taking in the scene. He runs to you, wrapping his arms around you.

"Charles, I don't want to get you sick..."

"It's okay," he says right away.

"How did you know where I was?"

"Someone told me you ran out so quickly right after I finished the race, so I came looking for you. Let's get going home, then, and get you in bed."

"Ch- Charles...?" you ask softly, glancing to Charles in the eyes, before looking back down at your fidgeting folded hands in your lap. You're sitting on you and your husband's bed in your nightgown as he finishes up getting ready for bed. "I need to... tell you something."

"Of course," he says, looking up in concern. "Anything, Y/n. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just... I think you should sit down for this."

Charles' eyebrows scrunch together as he sits down next to you, setting his hand on your thigh, giving it a little squeeze. "Yes?"

"I... I... Uh- hm, I think I might be... Charles... I think..." You exhale deeply, before finishing quickly, "I think I'm pregnant."

You must say it so suddenly, it takes Charles a moment to process. He sits, staring, eyes wide for a moment, before saying, a smile lighting up his eyes in excitement, throwing his arms around you, "Oh, my goodness... I don't know what to think... I-!" He squeezes you tighter, showering your cheeks with kisses, saying, "That's good! That's good, isn't it?!"

You nod slowly, feeling stress set in even further. "Y- Yeah..."

"How do you know you're pregnant?"

"Well, I don't know... But I should have gotten my period at least twice already, I think... And I haven't. And as you know, I haven't been feeling well... I don't know when I got pregnant, but... Maybe two months ago roughly?"

"We got married two months ago," Charles points out simply.

"Well, yeah, but... We slept together after the wedding."

"I suppose you're right... I think the midwives have ways if testing it, you know."

You shake you head 'no' slowly. "I think we should just watch it for now."

"Wait, turn around-" Charles suddenly says.

"Charles, it's not the time. I'm trying to get dressed. We're already going to be late, no?"

"It's okay. Just turn around. Please."

You sigh, doing so, and suddenly, his strong, big hands are on your stomach, feeling around. Then they cup a tiny little...

A little bump.

You exhale suddenly in surprise, your hands going to his shoulders.

"Oh, no... My goodness... You really think...?" you stutter softly.

"Yes, I do really think... I think? We should ask the castle's midwives. They have those tests."

You shake your head 'no', though. "We should wait and see if it grows into... well, if it grows into an obvious pregnant belly. I just... I just want to keep this between you and me for now."

"Of course. We'll just keep watching it."

Over the next weeks, the bump grows, until you're sure it must be what you thought it was from the beginning. Once you and Charles verbally decide this with each other, it's like he can't contain his excitement.

At every opportunity, he's kissing your tummy, placing his hands on it. When you cuddle in bed, it's the center of it all. Nonstop, he's talking about how excited he is, and how he can't wait. How he's going to take care of you and the baby. How he wonders if it's a boy or a girl. How he hopes he'll be a good father.

You keep telling him not to get too far ahead of himself, even though soon enough you know the secret of your pregnancy will have to get out. After all, something like that becomes hard to hide after a while.

You love the feeling of his warm hands and loving kisses on you, though. The fact that he has nothing but excitement calms some of your fears over the whole situation.

"May I speak for a moment, please?"

The table goes quiet as all eyes go on Charles. You know what he's about to do. You spoke it over. Regardless, you're still nervous about it for some unknown reason. You know there's really no reason to be...

Right?

But all those eyes on the two of you...

"Me and my beautiful wife are proud to announce that we're going to be having a child."

Those at the table are your family. Charles family, and your father. Both Charles' mother and your father's faces light up with pride. Lorenzo says, "Oh, Charles, that's wonderful!"

And of course Arthur's action is to lean forward (staining his royal white suit in his plate of food) to see if he can see your middle.

Lorenzo quickly orders the youngest Leclerc brother to have his seat and pay attention, because he got food all over his nice shirt.

You sigh of relief. You knew everyone would be very happy to learn of the news. But for some reason, you were still anxious. You're so glad it turned out.

You recline, eating some toast Charles brought to you after you complained about wanting some, licking the blue jam off your fingers, watching and listening as Charles sits at his piano, playing a nice little tune. A song he's apparently creating. He looks elegant and handsome there, sitting straight, his fingers moving over the keys so naturally, looking so relaxed.

King of like an angel, maybe.

But then it happens.

And you're reaction is to sit for a moment, eyes wide, before squealing, "Charles!"

Right away his fingers leave the keys of the piano, and he stands up, looking at you in concern. "Yes, my love? Is everything okay?"

You stare at him. "'My love...?'" you ask. Up until now, all he's called you is 'my wife', 'my princess', or simply, of course, just your name.

"Oh... I said that out loud?" he chuckles, after realising you're okay.

"Yes, you did!" you laugh, both hands resting on your pregnant tummy.

He smiles, sitting next to you. He pulls you onto his lap, placing both hands over yours. "That's how I think of you. I call you that in my head. Guess I've just never spoken it. I thought you would think it's too sappy. But I'm sure you already think I'm too sappy." He kisses your cheek from behind, before gently licking the edge of your ear.

"Oh, stop that!" you giggle

He huffs, but gently leans his chin on your shoulder with a nod. "Anyway, why did you call me over? Do you need something?" He leans back.

"No," you say, remembering with an excited smile. "But the baby moved, I think!"

Right away, Charles hands move under yours, and he sits there, just waiting, until suddenly he also feels it. "Y/n!" he gasps in excitement.

"I know!" You giggle softly again.

He hugs you tight, sighing in contentment.

From then on, every single night in bed, he takes to whispering. Whispering to the child inside of you, and rubbing your tummy. In the beginning, he whispers sweet-nothings in English, but soon enough, he's muttering in his own native language. You always love it when he speaks his language. It puts you right to sleep every night.

"Charles, I can't be going to a wedding!"

"But... we have to go. I know this person too much. If I don't go, that would look terrible. And it would look even worse if I went without you!" You can tell Charles is panicking (as much as he can panic. His panicking is like your moderate worrying) as he paces back and forth, and suddenly, guilt hits you.

"Charles," you sniff, stifling a sob as you look away. "I'm so sorry... I'll try more t-"

"Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa," he suddenly says, slipping down next to you, wrapping his arms around you. "It's okay. Sh, come on now, it's okay. I'll figure something out..."

"I'm so sorry... You're so stressed, and now I'm crying and you're trying to pretend this isn't bothering y-"

"Hey, it's all right. I just don't want you to cry, okay?"

But you can't help but cry more, "I'm sorry..."

He hugs you tighter. "You're dealing with a lot right now. It's hard carrying a baby. I know you're going through the effects of that."

"I've been aching so much lately..." you sniff.

"I know. It's a lot. I know. I could never be as strong as you are. I could never do that. It'd kill me. You're extremely strong, and I haven't told you that enough, but I'm very proud of you."

You sigh, snuggling into his warm body with a nod. "Thank you... Charles, I'm sorry for overreacting. I am only a little over halfway through this pregnancy. I can still go to a wedding with you. It's okay."

"Are you sure? The last thing I want to do is put you through discomfort."

"No, it's okay. I know I'll be with you. So I'll be okay."

He smiles softly at this comment, rubbing your lower back, where he knows you've been aching a lot. "Okay. Okay."

Lately you've just been staying around home (Charles worries about you going to his races, so you stopped until the baby is born), and mostly just wearing nightgowns or housecoats, so getting a dress to fit around your growing bump is a tiresome pain. Of course the servant girls gush over the baby soon to be born, which just drives you crazy. Only Charles is allowed to gush over it like that. (He does, too. Quite often.) And the chest area of your new dress has to be made larger, as well, of course.

While you're not excited about your growing chest and tummy as much, Charles definitely has been.

"Charles," you breathe, leaning your head on his shoulder. "I'm tired. Can we go? And itchy."

He kisses you and nods. "Of course."

The whole way home, you sleep on his shoulder.

"I had an idea," Charles claims, walking into the room.

"Be quieter," you mutter. Your hands are on your tummy, feeling as the baby inside you move. It still amazes you...

There is a baby growing inside of me.

Charles changes into more comfortable clothes and lays down next to you, putting his hand next to yours.

"What's your idea?" you ask him.

"I'm always touching your tummy. And you are too."

"Sure?" you ask, looking to him. You can't help but laugh softly when you see the little excited hope in his bright eyes. "You're adorable. What's your idea?"

For the past seven months, as you are now that far into your pregnancy, Charles has had that look. He's been so excited. Super protective over you and the child within your womb. He can't wait to be a daddy. And you're sure he'll be a very good one.

Probably a better parent than you'll ever be, anyway.

"I got this scented oil, and I thought it might feel good if I rubbed it on you."

You smile. "Sure. Why not?" You sit up a little, still reclining, as he sits up all the way. You're already wearing underclothes, your belly exposed.

Of course Charles (for no other reason but the desire in his eyes) decides that in order to do this, he must also remove your bra.

Okay, Charles.

But it feels good. It really does. He rubs all over your chest and tummy, and you lean back, letting him, inhaling the sweet scents of the oils.

You sit in the garden by yourself, rubbing your tummy.

The midwives say five weeks.

That number has hit you like the chariots Charles races in.

In five weeks or less, I'll be giving birth to our child.

A year ago, you would have never imagined being here.

You're terrified.

"Y/n?"

You sigh. Charles. How does he always seem to find you? He doesn't let you be upset. He's way too good at comforting.

He sits down next to you in the bench. It's chilly outside, but winter has passed, and you know spring is coming soon. You're wrapped in fur coats. He wraps an arm around your back. "Are you crying?"

You nod slowly.

"Oh, my love," he says, softly trying to wipe some of the tears away with his sleeve. "What's wrong?"

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Giving birth. It's coming so soon."

"I know it is... Why are you scared of it, though?"

"Charles, I don't think you know this. But there's a reason why you've never seen my mother. She passed away years ago. She passed away giving birth to me..."

Charles hugs you tight.

"Sometimes, I wonder how she was. What kind of person was she? What kind of mother would she have been? Was she a proper lady? Did she like athletics? Did she mind a little bit of dirt? Did she have a good sense of humor? My father never talks about her. I always wonder and..." you sniff. "I don't want you to have to tell our baby how I was, or what kind of mother you thought I would've been."

Charles sniffs as well, although he's not crying. "It's... please do not worry about such things. That was twenty-five years ago. Our midwives are very good. Experienced, skilled, and they know what they're doing in order to keep you and our child safe. I would never let anything bad happen to you. Or the baby." He places a hand on your tummy. "I love you both too much."

"But, Charles, what if there's not anything you could do about it? What if no matter how much you love me, it still doesn't work out, and your heart is broken anyway? I'm sure my father told my mother the same kind of things you're telling me before I was born..."

"Y/n, please. Just stop. I know it will be okay. I know we will get through. I know that in five weeks, you'll be sitting with a healthy little newborn in your arms."

"But what if I'm not? What if you're sitting with a healthy newborn in your arms, c- cr- crying? Because I'm-"

"Stop!" Charles suddenly yells, pulling away from you.

You stare at him in awe.

This is the first time he's ever yelled at you.

He continues, voice still raised, "You'll be okay! So will the child, and so will I be! Everyone will be safe and healthy, and everything will go as planned! Okay?" He's on the edge of screaming, his hand gripping your shoulder too tightly. "So stop worrying about nothing!"

You swallow, nodding.

Maybe he's worried, too. And instead of crying about it...

He's yelling about it.

Maybe he's trying to convince not only you of his words, but also himself.

This makes you cry more.

Immediately Charles suddenly softens again, and practically whines, "Please stop crying..." He sighs. "Please..." His head drops onto resting on your pregnant belly, which is now very firm. He stays in his position, but says, suddenly his tone bright, "Let's talk about something else!"

You stare at the back of his head, with his light brown messy hair that's in need of a trim.

When did you start loving this man so much?

You let out a shaky sigh.

In the past minute, he went from comforting, to angry, to panicking, to in a cheery mood.

What?

He continues, "I think after the baby is born, and after your father can no longer rule, Lorenzo will allow us to move to your island, where we can rule together! Doesn't that sounds good, Y/n?"

You shrug and nod, wiping away a tear. "Yeah, that will be nice... That would be... nice. It's what I want. Thank you for working for that for me, Charles."

"Do you think it will be a boy or a girl?" he asks right away then.

You shrug. "I don't know. I'll be happy either way, I guess. I think you'll be a great father, Charles."

He smiles, and chuckles softly. "I hope so, my love. You will be a lovely mother. I can picture you with our baby, drinking from your breast... Your hair falling over your shoulders. Your skin shining golden. The love in your eyes. I'm quite attracted to the concept of you being a mother, Y/n."

You laugh softly. "Clearly. And I doubt my skin will be shining, but we'll see about that, I suppose."

"What are you thinking for names?"

You think a few seconds. "I don't know. Maybe if it's a boy, we could just name him after you. You know, Charles."

"I think our kid should have his or her own name. I don't want them to be named after either of us."

You nod. "Got any ideas, then?"

He shrugs, saying casually, sitting up finally, "For a boy, Jules might be okay."

"Why Jules?"

"My good friend and godfather. That was his name. Really the best man anyone ever met."

"Oh... I-"

"Anyone would be honored to be named after him. Either way, I don't know, though. You have to be okay with it too, and you idin't even know him. Got any ideas for a girl's name?"

You think for a few seconds. "For girls, I've always liked Eleanor. Ella would be a cute nickname. I also like Charlotte. And for boys, Jadon... or James. Something like that. But I don't know. We'll see when the baby comes, I suppose, no?"

He shrugs. "Yes, I suppose so, huh?

For the next weeks, because of Charles care about you, he always wants the midwives near you. Unless he's near you. He loves being alone with you, and gets excited at every single sign that the baby is just around the corner. At every sign, you get more anxious. When false labor starts, Charles stays with you whenever he can, and always makes sure midwives are close to help you in case...

Well, in case it's time.

The anxiety you feel is terrible, but you hide it from Charles.

Despite all the pain you feel as the days go on, and the heaviness of your large pregnant tummy, you prepare a bed for the baby with Charles, and other things your child will need.

You try to push out all your worries, but it's very difficult.

To hear his wife say the words, "It's now. I'm going to have the baby. Soon!"

That's kind of scary.

He gets the midwives right away, and she gets settled in the room they've prepared for her for the birthing process.

My nerves. Oh goodness, these nerves.

Charles' nerves could be cut with a knife.

"Charles, I'm scared."

"It's going to be okay. Just relax," are the words he manages.

Of course, he hates to hear those words, 'Charles, I'm scared,' come from his beloved's mouth. The wavering way it comes from her soft beautiful lips sends a sinking feeling into Charles' chest.

And then the process begins. The midwives try different positions with her, despite her wish to just lay down.

Charles keeps his hand in hers the whole time. It's like as if time stops in that little room, until Charles sees the sun rising outside the window.

How long has it been?

Please. Please, I need this baby to be born soon. She needs this baby to be born soon.

"Keep pushing."

Charles swallows as his wife cries, squeezing his hand tight and continues to moan in pain.

Oh God. Oh goodness, love.

Please... Please... Please make it.

You gasp when you hear the crying of your baby. Charles hand slips out of yours, and you watch as he walks across the room to the midwives. You're so tired, you don't understand what's happening.

You get a sudden sinking feeling.

"Is the- Is the baby okay? A- Alive?" you ask in panic, gripping the bed.

But the tiny little baby is placed into your arms. "Say hello to your baby boy, Princess Y/n."

You feel a tear slip from you eye as you look at the tiny little baby in your arms.

That you and Charles made.

You know, the one that's been causing you problems for the past nine months.

This little guy.

You've grown so much in these past nine months.

You feel Charles arm come around your back.

I can never let anything happen to this little beautiful, innocent, perfect child. I will never let anything happen to him. I can't. I love him too much.

Charles kisses the side of your head.

You sit, rocking the child slowly, for who knows how long, before he starts feeding from your breast. Charles rubs your back softly. "It feels funny," you softly giggle.

Charles laughs softly, too, taking your hand and gently rubbing it. "What did I tell you? I told you it would all turn out, didn't I?"

"Yes," you sigh. "Yes, you did. It was hard, and now I'm so tired I feel like I could pass out, but we made it. All three of us made it."

"You don't have to tell me how hard it was. I was here the whole time," Charles teases, but his smile becomes slightly more faint as he mutters with such love, "I'm so proud of you... It was terrible to watch you in such pain... I knew the least I could do was stay with you no matter what."

"It was hard. One time, you left to go to the bathroom, and I got worried. You know, I begged for you. The midwives told me you'd be back soon. And everything turned out, Charles, didn't it?"

"Oh, my love," he breathes in the sappiest tone. He kisses your cheek again, and you can feel the emotions radiating off of him- excitement, relief, pride, tiredness, desire, but most of all, love. "You should have believed me when I said everything would be okay."

"Yeah, I know..."

"Because here we are. Three of us. All safe and sound."

"Yeah... Three," you smile at the child in your arms.

After quite a long time, you hand your son to his father. Charles holds him, rocking him back and forth. Such contentment.

The way he holds him with that little smile down at the tiny little being. So much love and protection. So much fatherly love.

"I love you," Charles whispers softly, and you know he's talking to both of you.

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enhastolemyheart · 10 months

Text

BEAUTIFUL — PARK SUNGHOON

pairing. non-idol!sunghoon x gn!reader

genre. est. relationship, college au, summer au

synopsis. with finals being over, all you wanted was your comfy boyfriend.

warning(s). profanity, reader and hoon are uni students , lowercase intended, use of petnames,

word count. 0.5k

a/n. I was watching some enha 'so so fun' clips on yt shorts and jus randomly thought of this idea saurr here it is!! it's been a while since I've posted, hasn't it? I've been saur busy with school like we have exams like almost every week but im still trying to keep up with my writing. I really hope this came out good, pls lmk!! taglist us open and so are requests! enjoy readingg

finally.

school's over, and summer has started. finally.

you were walking home from the subway to your apartment, your comfy bed and pretty boyfriend waiting for you at your humble abode. sunhhoon wanted to stay over at your place after finals were done because now you have the time of your lives.

you head bobs to the music resonating in your over-the-head headphones, jazzy tunes playing. hands wrapped around your backpack strap. you and so many plans for the summer. first thing was to visit your family back in your hometown with sunghoon, and luckily enough, his parents only live a few streets away so you both planned to meet his parents as well, maybe even have a mini get together.

as you get into the elavator, excitement buzzed in your veins. the thought of finally having to spend some time with your boyfriend is something you wanted for a while now. studying in different universities was hard. he was majoring in science while you in buisness. due to having finals around the same time. you couldn't meet each other for more than two weeks. yeah of course, messaging and facetiming was a thing but being in your third year really put your head in the books for the last two months of the final semester. and now, you say that it payed off in the end, because here you are with a smile on your face, content with how the exam went.

you walk into your place with open arms, wanting to hug hoon as soon as you saw him, but to your knowledge he wasn't there. not in the living room, or the kitchen, or the bedroom. with a slight pout you turn to the bathroom to see if he was there and bingo, he was. looks like he just finished showering.

after he comes out, for some reason, he doesn't see you when he walks past you, into your shared bedroom, humming a random tune. you let out a small pout and follow in his footsteps.

"Hoon, I'm home. did you not see me?"

he gets lightly startled upon seeing you, "i thought you were coming late 'cause of your exam..."

"well, they let us out early," you reason as you watch him retrieve the hair dryer from the dresser, taking a seat on the floor in front of your full length mirror.

"how did the exam go, love?" he pulls you towards him, causing you to loose your footing, making you fall on top of him, your turned into a giggling mess and sunghoon couldnt help but also laugh, dimples making a display.

"it went really well. I'm happy."

"that's good to hear."

you hum as you take the electronic device in your hands, plugging it in and and getting comfortable on his lap. you dry his for him, brushing your fingers through his locks gently. he sighs in contentment before wrapping his arms around your waist more tightly pressing his chin to your chest before looking at you in the eyes.

"you're beautiful."

he always knew how to make your face go red. he loved see you in that shade.

"shut up hoon."

"thank you beautiful." he says after you finish blow drying his hair.

and you both spent the rest of the night, having some take out, maybe even a little it of making out, ending the chill night with some much needed cuddles.

a/n - tysm for reading guys! i honestly dk what the point of this drabble is, I smth in my mind but it did not work out. I've been sick to the point where i couldn't walk properly, heh- anyways tyvm for reading and again, requests are open!

networks. @hyfenet

perm taglist: @jak-ey , @snoowhore , @hsgwrld , @seungiesluv , @1-800shutthefuckup

#<enhastolemyheart3 #hyfenet #enhypen x reader #sunghoon #park sunghoon #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon scenarios #sunghoon oneshots #sunghoon drabbles #sunghoon imagines #jungwon #heeseung #enhypen #lee heeseung #jake sim #park sunghoon fluff #enhypen sunghoon

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sincerely-sofie · 4 months

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Seeing as you have finished writing the script for your AU thingy, I wanna know, how?

Like, were you motivated the whole time? Or was it a on and off writing type thing?

i'm trying to write but I don't know if I have the motivation...

How did you keep the motivation if so?

Oh man. I have so much to say about writing and creativity that I could make an entire series of posts talking about the subject, but I'll try to keep things orderly and brief.

Disclaimer: I should let you know that I have never finished a writing project before recently finishing my TPiaG AU. Keep that in mind when reading the advice I offer— the tips I give have only been put into work in my own life over the course of the last couple of months, but they’ve proven very effective in my experience!

Sofie Creativity Tips Episode 1, go!!!

Was I motivated the whole time I was writing TPiaG / How did I stay motivated?

Absolutely not. If I hadn’t provided myself a detailed chapter-by-chapter outline for TPiaG before starting the writing process, I would have given up thanks to a mix of writer’s block and absent motivation. Motivation is a fickle muse and prone to ditching me for months on end, so I’ve adapted by trying not to rely on it, but also by creating new motivation rather than clinging to past motivation. I create motivation for myself in two ways: removing friction when writing and being my own fandom.

Removing friction is pretty simple— I create very detailed chapter outlines that remove any fear of writer’s block, set up my devices in a way to make it easy to access my manuscripts and notes, download premade writing playlists that have Pomodoro session break timers built into them, and more. Anything that makes the writing process easier to get into and enjoy doing, I make sure to incorporate into my life.

Being my own fandom is less intuitive, but a thousand times more rewarding in terms of motivation. I make memes of my characters. I write self-indulgent snippets on the side. I make AUs of my own work. I make playlists and save audio clips that suit the characters. I draw comics exploring concepts that might not get into the manuscript itself but that I want to make content for regardless. Basically, I dive in deep into the story, characters, and world, and try to do so with the enthusiasm that I give other people’s projects.

(That part is extra fun, because if I have a headcanon, it automatically becomes canon to whatever AU or original project I’m working on. I have all the power in the world when working like this, and it’s very fun.)

What changed and made it so I finished my first ever written project?

This isn’t exactly what was asked, but because I have eschewed motivation as the main driving force in my writing process, I figured I’d give another insight into how TPiaG went against the pattern of half-started and swiftly abandoned projects that came before it and actually got finished. Late into October, I adopted a new method of producing first drafts. Previously, I would spend weeks polishing the same chapter and would only move on to the next chapter once the current one was perfect. My new method is the complete opposite. I’ve started calling it Writing BFF:

Write bad

Write fast

Write fun

First up, write bad. The point of this is not to waste your time writing prettily during your first draft. Don’t bother agonizing over how to reword that one sentence to be more elegant when it does the job well enough to get its point across. Don’t go off on a 30-minute research tangent in the middle of a writing session because you want to fact-check that one detail and make sure it’s perfectly accurate when you could just put a placeholder detail in brackets and CTRL+F search and plug in something accurate later on. Don’t write pretty, write bad. And be okay with it. You can’t edit an empty page, so fill the page with as much garbage as possible so that you can turn it into gold later on.

Next, write fast. This is only effective when paired with writing bad. Don’t pause, don’t hesitate, don’t deliberate. Write as much as you can and do it as fast as you can. This idea is best illustrated by Chris Fox’s book 5,000 Words Per Hour, where he talks about increasing your WPM (words per minute) and how it makes everything about your writing better. The person who creates a beautiful first draft once every three years is doing okay, but the person who cranks out a complete manuscript every three months learns leagues more about writing than the first person does by the end of three years. The second person has practiced outlining, drafting, editing, publishing, and more with every manuscript completed. The faster you write, the better you get, because practice makes perfect and quantity begets quality.

Finally, write fun. I write what I enjoy, and if I’m not enjoying it, I pivot the project so that I enjoy it again. I like writing deeply personal stories, so pretty much everything I write is heavily based on my life and experiences— TPiaG included. Grovyle’s portrayal is deeply influenced by my experience being an elder sibling who has been a bad example of self-talk, and cleaned up my act because my younger sister started echoing how I spoke to myself. Dusknoir’s portrayal is informed by my experiences with being the therapist / mom friend in different social circles as well as attending actual formal therapy. Twig is the character that my experiences have the greatest influence on in her portrayal, and I joke about her being a self-insert, but ultimately all of the characters are self-inserts to some extent. I also enjoy low-stakes and slow slice-of-life stories that are driven by character growth. If I ever stop having fun with a project, I inject more of myself and my preferences into my work to get it back into my favor.

TL;DR / Writing advice lightning round

Write as badly as possible as quickly as possible, and have fun as you do it. Momentum yields motivation and stagnancy yields doubt. Editing comes only after the first draft is complete. Be your own fandom and your project’s biggest fan. Give yourself direction and ward against writer’s block by making detailed chapter-by-chapter outlines. Make the writing process as easy and enjoyable as possible. Motivation is a lie and if you chase after it instead of making your own, you’ll be writing on hard mode for the rest of your life. Reject perfectionism, embrace flawesomeness.

If I didn’t answer your question right, let me know! I’ll do my best to correct it.

#creativity tips with sofie #sofie answers asks #sofie says stuff #writing #writing advice #writing tips #writing motivation #writer advice #writer tips #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writers of tumblr

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tzyuki · 11 months

Note

hiiii 🎐 anon here !!

loved ur writing for my last request !! it was adorable and thank you so much <333

here for when you have time, how about enhypen reaction to idol!reader (not dating) being super confident, similar to park gyuri from kara, just like publicly and privately in love with themselves 😭 not in a degrading way towards others of course ! just in a purely “yea i know i’m pretty” type of way

thank you luv 🫶🫶

— (05.30.23) ENHA-QUESTS

IN WHICH ✶ enha loves their crushes confidence!

genre 𓏸 ͘ ࣭⸰ enha x idol!reader. fluff fluff fluff!!!

warnings 𓏸 ͘ ࣭⸰ swearing, if any more please tell me!

ej note 𓏸 ͘ ࣭⸰ hi🎐 anon !!! i’m glad you enjoyed the last one!

⏤ ☆ yang jungwon / 양정원

jungwon has never seen another person as confident as you since he’s met sunghoon. at first he actually thought you and sunghoon would make a perfect match, but when he got to hang out with you more he started to love your company and your confident personality.

⏤ ☆ lee heeseung / 이희승

you two became fast friends, constantly joking about being attractive like for example; acting like you guys are in a kdrama with the camera and you guys are the main leads waking the viewers up.

͏͏⏤ ☆ park jongseong / 박종성

you constantly hype him up bc he doesn’t know how fine he is. he gets shy at your confidence and compliments. he didn’t think he would meet a girl so open and confident as you. he admires your confidence in your looks and your energy you give off to everyone else with it.

͏͏⏤ ☆ sim jaeyun / 심재윤

when you guys did a tiktok challenge together for your guys comeback he asked if you wanted to look at yourself before posting it and you said some shit like “it’s okay i know i look good today” and he’d laugh at you bc of your silly confidence, you two js clicked instantly.

͏͏⏤ ☆ park sunghoon / 박성훈

oh you two were js THAT duo. once you had debuted and clips of you being in love with yourself went viral everyone had been hoping you and sunghoon would meet during promotions. and that you guys did. once you guys met backstage he had mentioned seeing your viral clips and that you had reminded him of himself.

⏤ ☆ kim sunoo / 김선우

you guys were already friends and every time you complimented yourself or said something like “i look so good today.” he would jokingly side eye you, you two were comfortable enough with each other to joke like that.

⏤ ☆ nishimura riki / 西村力

you guys were filming content for the label and you two had checked yourself out in the cameras at different times, saying stuff like “engene don’t i look really handsome today” and “tmi, i’m the cutest today.” fans had pointed out this moment and giggled over it. you and ni-ki didn’t really talk despite being label mates but when he had seen the clips he wanted to be friends with you because of that little moment and the similarities he felt between you two whilst he watched the short content show.

enha-masterlist — permanent taglist (open) ; @jangwonie @cwsana @luvyrin @amara-mars @ineedaherosavemeenow @mintydayeon @love-4-keum @kpopx-xlover @abdiitcryy @beepjeongie @ox1-lovesick @ja4hyvn @shinsou-rii @winkura @ddeonudepressions @tnyhees @wannabeyn @kpoprhia @svnghoonsonly

#enhypen fluff #enhypen #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #enhypen smau #enhypen imagines #enhypen drabbles #niki enhypen #heeseung enhypen #enhypen jungwon #enhypen sunghoon #jay enhypen #enhypen sunoo #enhypen jake

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thequietkid-moonie · 9 months

Note

Listen, Nuestra Canción (Monsier Periné) and Yuri Briar

In love with a caotic and clumsy reader

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Yuri Briar ]

[ Spy x Family ]

› Song that inspired this [ Nuestra canción - Monsier Periné ]

OMG!! it been sooo long since the last time i heard this song!! I love so much the rhythm, I almost don't write the fic for being dancing around 🤭 (have you seen that clip of Bugs Bunny dancing with this song? Yeah, that was me)

I end up loving this idea, I hope you love it as much as I did anon!! Please enjoy ~

You were already used to bump into people by accident, you had always been pretty clumsy and tend to trip with your own feet, even when is something that you find kinda funny you always apologize to whoever you bother with your clumsiness to be polite, you had found people that get mad at you or don't give importance when you bump into them, but you certanlty didn't expect to end up having a friendship out of it

To be fair, the friendship started to grow after a few accidents, for some reason you always manage to bump into Yuri, the first time you just apologized, the next times started to be more irritating for him, however that doesn't last long, not like he can be mad at you when everything time you see each other, even if is in unfortunate circumstances you always had a funny smile and even started to reconize him

It was almost thanks to you that the friendship grew, you were the one who started doing jokes about your clumsiness, and you had even told him that you hope next time you two could meet without causing a mess in a playful tone

Yuri doesn't understand how or why but for some reason the image of you smiling at him and joking with him without even knowing his name get stuck in his mind and doesn't seem like it would go away, not like he want it anyways, Yuri even started to hope that he will be able to see you again every day. Yuri doesn't completely catch the feelings that were slowly growing inside his chest, those feeling that make him hope he wil be able to see you again soon, but it isn't like he is complaining about them neither

The next time he sees you Yuri was determinante to finally ask for your name, he couldn't bare the fact that now you are making his heart go faster but he doesn't even know your name, he wanted to know more about you and get closer to you, and Yuri is determinated to do it, so after you two finally exchange names it was just matter of time for you two to grow closer, starting with a friendship

Slowly you start to apear more and more in his life, but this time you weren't bumping into him, he saw you in all kind of scenarios that make Yuri's heart skip a beat in a good and a bad way, just as Yuri has had the opportunity to see your beauty illuminated by a beautiful sunset hee has had the misfortune to see you being dragged while trying to take your dog for a walk, just as Yuri has had the opportunity too see you dance to the rhythm of the music so smoothly and carefree, like if it were a second nature for you, he has had the misfortune to see you fall from trees when you tried to scale them (even when he kindly ask you to don't do it because you could end up hurt)

At this point Yuri had lost count of all the times he's had to catch your things or even you before you fall (and almost drop you for being flustered) but he swears that he will never be tired of it! He really doesn't mind having to catch you a million of times times and having to patch up your little injuries if that means being able to continue seeing you smile so carefree and cheerful at him

When Yuri feels like he already knows all your possibles mischiefs you always come up with something completely new, something that will make him feel worried sick for your safety but that, at the same time, make him feel amused

Your caotic and carefree attitude is something that make Yuri fall in love more and more with each passing day, and is something that motivates him to continue working hard, wanting to create a place were you and Yor could be free without worries, hoping to be able to live in a peaceful future with you

#music prompt game #spy x family x reader #sxf x reader #yuri briar #yuri briar x reader #yuri x reader #x reader #x gn reader #anime x reader #manga x reader

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stupidstrawberrystars · 2 months

Text

I’ve decided that my WIPs should be somewhere. This is wolfstar, modern au (where Sirius and James have a tiktok account). It was supposed to be multi chaptered (basically just gonna be Wolfstar doing couples trends on tiktok, but they’re not actually together yet), but I only fully completed the first chapter. But it’s just rotting away so here, it’s about 1k.

I’ve made this a thing now so;

Their video went viral two months ago. Sirius and James precariously attempted to pet a pigeon. Gotta give the guy credit, Pete’s great at dares.

He recorded it all, planning to use it to blackmail the two in the future. Nothing like friendly bullying between mates. And he got some good footage, a pigeon did fly in James’ face and Sirius stepped in poop, but then Remus just had to help.

He went to the shop and grabbed some bread. So they could lure a pigeon in. And in a shocking turn of events, they managed to pet one eventually.

They posted the video as a joke.

It took the algorithm only a few weeks to hit all the UK uni students currently withering away behind their desks.

And soon Pads and Prongs went viral.

And so as James and Remus crashed through uni, Pete cruised through his internship as a sous chef, and Sirius desperately search for artistic inspiration, they kept an online presence too.

Sirius and James documented their crazy days of boring work and painting, and entertained their fans with late night lives at their flats and short tiktok clips of dumb pranks. James’ hair was pink for a week. It was hilarious.

The internet was quick to fall in love with James’ long distance relationship with Lily. Pete popped up to show off his cooking sometimes. Remus appeared in the background sometimes. Sirius finds it unbelievable that he hasn’t realised how much the tiktok book girlies already love him.

And that’s what lead to last night. The marauders, a nickname from school and therefore an embarrassing inside joke, are all huddled in the small living room of James and Sirius’, eating Pete’s cake and cuddled under blankets. Their live and just chatting with the fans, relating over awful projects and difficult teachers.

“Not that this cake isn’t amazing, but does anyone want actual food? I could order takeaway since clearly none of us want to get up and make shit.” It’s a good suggestion from James, but Sirius isn’t really hungry.

“Yeah i’d have food mate.” Remus agrees and then so does Pete.

“I’m good i’m not hungry.” James shoots him a vaguely sceptical look, and asks him if he’s sure.

“Yes i’m sure James.”

They decide on simple fish and chips. Usually they get something, as James would say, with more taste. But the chippies the only place that’ll bring them food and not take more than two hours. It is a Friday after all.

Since they’re using James’ phone for the live, Remus takes his phone out and takes Pete and James’ order.

So they continue along chatting and rather quickly the questions about Remus, who’s been pretty quiet all evening, increase from about 50% of the comments to 75%.

“Just appease them a bit Lupin.” Remus glares at James for that.

“I have no clue what the people on your phone want to know about me James.”

Remus has a tendency to refer to technology as if he’s a grandpa who understands nothing beyond a radio. Sirius has heard people call it annoying but really it’s just endearing. At least to Sirius.

“How about that book you read Moony? Red, White and Royal Blue? Apparently you were caught making some choice expressions while reading in the background of me and James’ last tiktok. Did you like it?”

Remus gives him a disapproving look, likely annoyed at Sirius’ question. Apparently books need more detail than just a simple, yes it was good, or no it was not.

“Well… okay do your phone people really care about my opinion?” Remus turns to James. He replies that yes they obviously do. The comments are going crazy over having Remus’ attention.

“Fine. I enjoy Casey McQuiston’s writing style. I thought it was entertaining and I really liked how Alex and Henry complimented each other. Henry was able to calm Alex and Alex’s able to reason with Henry when he’s struggling.”

Sirius looked blankly at Remus.

“Oh come on Moons. You spent like 2 hours explaining the whole book in depth and going on and on about your favourite characters and lines. Your book is annotated all over. At least share with the audience your favourite quotes.”

Remus sighs beside Sirius. Sirius really wants to hear these though. Remus seemed to love the book and Sirius often finds listening to him describe something he loves is always majestic. He details it all with elegant words until you’re eating out the plan of his hand.

“I guess I thought it was pretty funny when Nora said, How did I know I was Bi? I touched a boob. Wasn’t that profound.”

“Remus.” Sirius whines.

“Oh fine. There’s a tone of quotes from that book I love. There’s I love him on purpose. Or he tells his too fast brain: don’t miss it this time, it’s too important. I- erm- I guess I also kind of love this thing Henry says, it’s like And I thought if someone like that ever loved me, it’d set me on fire. But then I was a careless fool and fell in love with you anyway.” Remus has not taken his eyes of Sirius once as he quotes this beautiful book. How does he remember those lines just of the top of his head?

“You know what though,” His voice takes on a soft tone. The one he reserves for kids, animals, things he loves, and sometimes Sirius. If he’s in a good mood. “my favourite, has got to be When have I ever, since the very first instant I touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you?” Remus’ eyes are rich and deep and chocolate. Sirius wants to paint them.

“Moony!” James interrupts their eye contact. “Now they’re all gonna be in love with you, damn it.”

Remus chuckles and glances to the side.

“Doubt that Prongs. But yeah I loved the book. Oh and erm- food should be here soon by the way guys. Just got the notification to say it’s on its way here.”

Remus then clearly decides he’s done enough socialising with the internet so he grabs his current book, Song of Achilles, and carries on reading.

And of course, because he’s so easy to deal with already, Sirius’ stomach, as if it has a mind of its own, decides now is the time to become bloody starving.

He glances guilty at Prongs, who furrows his eyebrows as if to ask what’s wrong.

“Hey Moons,” Sirius raises the pitch of his voice slightly to warn Remus he’s about to be a bit annoying. Remus glances up, squints at him and tilts his head.

“Remember when I said I wasn’t hungry?”

James bursts into laughter and Pete chuckles. But Remus just goes back to his book. And once the laughter dies down he, without even lifting his head from reading, tells Sirius,

“Idiot. I know. I ordered you food when I ordered ours. I know you. I knew you’d be hungry.” He rolls his eyes but goes straight back to the book.

The entire internet sees Sirius’ doe eyes but Remus does not. It sends James up the wall.

#the IDIOT is endearing and usually Remus uses much cuter petnames with Sirius I promise #if I did carry this on it would be so fluffy and mushy so if that’s not your vibe then ignore this #low on angst high on love #the next bit would be Sirius in a skirt stealing the jumper Remus is wearing just for fun (because he knows Remus will let him)#you guessed it though they’re still not dating yet #wolfstar #dead gay wizards #marauders era #sirius black #james potter #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #i wrote a fic #my fic #wolfstar fic

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winterisawriter · 8 months

Text

⋅•⋅⋅•first love,

late spring⋅•⋅⋅•

Geto Suguru x fem!reader.

Suguru loves Y/n.

Y/n loves Suguru.

But sometimes even love can’t be enough.

•

|this is my first time writing so sorry if it’s suck or for the grammar errors|

•

♡ — ♡ — ♡ — ♡ — ♡ — ♡ — ♡ — ♡ — ♡

“Sometimes i wish i have never met you.So that i wouldn’t have become who I’m about to be.”

Suguru often thought about the first time he had met Y/n.He did a lot recently,just to compare it to where they were now.And the more he thought about it,the more he asked himself: “How did we end up like this?”

For Suguru there was always been – and I repeat always been something about Y/n that attracted the attention of everyone who wandered around her.Maybe it was the delicate color of her pure skin,her big,Witchery beautiful eyes that shimmered with naivety in the sunlight.Or maybe even for her soft lips,god,Y/n peach-colored lips:the cracked lower lip from the cold and all the kisses she hadn't given yet, scented with butter-cocoa and vanilla ice cream.He always wanted to kiss her lips,it was even impossible not to stop and look at them for a while.

Y/n was a flower,a freshly brushed daisy with a simple form but with an almost hypnotic power, everyone wanted to play “she loves me,she loves me not”at least once with her and with her constantly changing little body.Y/n was a daisy that overflowed with pollen,pollen that Suguru,just like a bee,wanted to collect and carry straight into his heart full of love.

But he wasn’t a bee.

She was a flower and like every beautiful flower,to grown and be loved,she needed the warm rays of the sun.

Suguru wasn’t the sun,he wasn’t even the moon.He was just a little,nameless start among other billions.Something much smaller,nothing special,nothing much.Just a little star that was watching her from afar.

The first time that he saw her he was only ten years old and it was a Tuesday,it late in the afternoon and the spring had just started.The warmth of the rays of the sun,the delicate smell of the blooming flowers and the colors of its petals,framed that moment perfectly like it was a portrait.

At the time he didn’t knew her name yet,so in his mind he just called her the “stranger with a sweet smile”because her smile was the first thing that he had noticed in her.

She seemed to be around his age,maybe a year younger.Suguru saw her stop in the busy streets of Tokyo just to be able to admire the first cherry blossoms of the year.

Her hair was moving to the rhythm of the spring breeze,her fingers ran between them in an attempt to tame them,as a sweet smile creeped into her chapped lips.He saw her reach with her hands to the old purple camera dangling from her neck,retracting them almost instantly to enjoy the blossoming of the shoots with just the help of your gentle eyes.

She was out of place in the frenzy of a city always on the move.

A pink salopette with cherries on it,a white t-shirt with the print of a cartoon character,butterflies clips in her hair,pink striped socks and red sandals with little backpack shaped as a heart.

Rosy cheeks,big round eyes,the bare skin of her arms covered in drawing of flowers and animals with different colors,bitten nails painted in yellow.

For Suguru she seemed like a breath of fresh air in a world of skyscrapers,people running everywhere and smog.He could tell she had never seen the city,but grew up on the country side,as her head was spinning to take a look around.

As he was holding his mother hand,Suguru begged the red of the traffic light to last longer, just to be able to admire her from afar for a few more moments.

But she didn't wait to be looked at further. The little girl moved her gaze to the ground,as her mother placed a gentle hand on her shoulder,jumping over a crack in the concrete, and she walked in the opposite direction to his.

Will she ever come back?Will she go back down that road again,sooner or later?

He need to know.

He would like to enjoy her smile once again.

Suguru had thought about her that night,from the little house of his family in the hills he could see the whole city. Although reduced to a confused cluster of purple lights and full of its skyscrapers blurred by the rain breaking on the glass of an empty room,he could do nothing but think of her,where she was,what she was doing.

Was she listening,like him,to the pleasant sound of rain in a desperate attempt to fall asleep?

Ah,what a pathetic cheesy boy he became.

She would say that if only she could read his thoughts,wouldn't she?No she wouldn’t,he didn’t even knew her but she seemed to gentle,to kind.From the way he saw her smile,the way the her eyes shined she wouldn’t say something like that even though she would’ve thought that.

But he didn’t care,at half past ten,after his mother had tucked him in bed,he had found himself alone,in his room,wondering what she did to his head.How did she managed to get into him so deep with a smile that wasn't even aimed at him?Why does he still hope to have a chance to see her again?

His family had always been religious,he was used to go and visit the temple out of the city and to be grateful before every meal.His parents had educated him in that way,but now he really thought that there was a god somewhere that really listened to his prayers.

Suguru saw her again the next day,he had just came out of school and was helping his mother with the groceries.He saw her,the “stranger with the sweet smile” coming out of the convenience store on the other side of the sidewalk that he was using to go home,in the company of a plastic bag in her hands maybe too heavy for her.She was wearing an adorable long floral dress down to her knees,her unmissable smile and the same backpack.

She made him think that she was heading towards the park for a picnic by the river:the four-thirty Sun that timidly caresses her skin among the fronds the centuries-old trees,her eyes that close to better listen to the chirping of the birds returned to nest,her mother playing with her hair while she admired the flowers.

He didn't even have time to take courage,join her and offer to help her carry the shopping bag that her mother greeted someone inside the store with the hand and started to walk away with her.Just as she appeared,she disappeared along one of the many streets that intersect the main one,leaving him only between faces that have nothing to tell.

Suguru had finally and officially met her a week later.It was Monday,lunchtime and he was sitting peacefully by himself in the elementary school yard.

He had thought about her that morning,as he walked down the streets along side his mother to go to school.He had looked for her at every bus stop,behind the windows of every bar,hoping to see her have breakfast with a croissant in one hand and orange juice in the other,among the dull eyes of those who walked on the sidewalks,under the cherry tree to which he had not paid enough attention before the week before.

She wasn’t there,but her presence was still vivid in the air.

He never realized how beautiful it could be to watch the flowers bloom until she showed him how to do it through her eyes full of curiosity.

He would like to learn from her.

Observing something seemingly obvious comes back to arousing a happiness.Being able to smile just by watching something grow.Without even knowing him,she taught him that beauty really seems to reside in the little things,that no matter how imposing everything around them was and under everyone's gaze, nothing will be a better spectacle than life that blooms next to us in silence,hidden from the eyes of the most distracted.

Then he saw her again,in her pale blue school uniform,her hair tied in a pony tail with a green scrunchie and the same butterfly clips.She was on her knees by the flowerbeds,her hands were moving fast on a white paper that she had ripped out from her notebook.She was drawing he could tell,seeing all the scattered crayons.

The sun was up in the sky and the chilly wind was swooshing between the trees,as Suguru was reading his book about the starts and the planets,a paper flew directly in his face.

Confused he was looking at the drawings on it,different types of flowers in every color.For being made by the hand of a little girl,they indeed were beautiful.

"I-I’m sorry!”her voice was gentle,almost as she was afraid to let it out.

Now that she was close to him he could feel it,the strange sensation that was making his stomach churn,his palm sweaty and his inside mushy.She had like a sort of aura,something mystical,an enchantress and temptress that was drawing him to her every second of the day.

As he got up he watched her run towards him,her little Barbie shoes light up with every step she took towards him.

"Did you made these?”he asked,handing her the paper.

She smelled like roses and vanilla,now that she was closer he could see her scraped knees and the sponge-bob patches on them,the lip gloss ring that she had probably found in a bag of cheeps but especially her gentle smile.She was a year younger than him,as he suspected,as he read her class on her uniform.

“Yes.”she murmured softly,her cheeks were red and her eyes shied away from his dark ones.

“They are very beautiful.”he complimented her“I liked the daisy.”he said again with a sincere tone.

The little girl was holding the paper to her chest like she was embarrassed that someone had seen her drawings “That’s not a daisy,it’s a marigold”she had told him.

Suguru scratched the back of his head,he liked to hear the sound of her voice,he didn’t care what she was talking about as long as she kept talking to him “There’s a difference?”he asked confused.

Before she could tell him the bell rang and everyone,including her,were running back inside the school.

Suguru hadn’t seen her till Thursday,till it had stopped raining and the teachers had let the kids out to play again.He have wondered several times what her name might be.The real one,the one that her parents call her to wake her in the morning,the one that her friends use to get her attention,the one with that she used to introduce herself to someone new while making a short bow of respect.

During these two days of rain,he had tried to look for her in the school halls,in the empty classrooms and even in the parking lot.But she seemed to have disappeared,just like she was a vivid dream of a creation of his imagination.

Maybe it's because he associate her with the same tree where he saw her for the first time,maybe it's because I can't get her rosy cheeks out of his head,or maybe because he was nothing but a poor deluded:it's been two days since he saw her and,although he knew well that the chances of seeing her again were high he couldn’t help but feel sad.

The next day everything changed,the sun was up in the sky,the birds were chirping loudly.He came to a conclusion sooner that he expected.That day Suguru walked towards her,she was still sitting under the cherry tree,two braids hanging on her shoulders with the watermelon hair ties shining under the light,but this time instead of crayons and papers she had a book in her lap.

“Astronomy for beginners.”the title said.

Suguru couldn’t help but smile as a strange tingling feeling was growing inside his stomach,a foreign warmth crawling from his neck to his ear where he could hear his heart beating fast.

“Hi”he said gently to not startle her.

“Hi.”she parroted with a shy wave of the hand.

“Would you like some of my lunch?My mom gave me too much rice.”he asked politely as he gestured to his bento,it was an excuse to talk to her again.

“Oh”she looked around,lifting her teddy bear backpack before looking at him again “But i don’t have anything to give you back.”she sounded apologetic,as she held the empty paper of her onigiri.

“It’s alright,i wouldn’t be able to eat much anyway.”he reassured her,sitting next to her on the grass.

They stayed quiet for a few minutes,enjoying the cooked rice,shoulder to shoulder under the branches of the cherry tree.

“What are you reading?”Suguru then asked,peaking over small figure.

“I’m reading about the constellation of Andromoida,but I can’t understand much.”she murmured,she felt awkward to tell him that since she saw him with a book about the stars she wanted to learn more about them.

“You mean Andromeda?”he corrected her gently with a giggle.

“Y-Yes that!”she exclaimed blushing.

He nodded “I can teach you if you want,I know a lot about the stars.”he stated proud of himself.

She looked at him with vide,bright eyes “Really?”she asked happily.

He nodded “Only if you teach me the difference between a daisy and a marigold.”

She smiled,warmer that any sun “Deal.”

“My name is Suguru.”he then said,holding out his hand for her to shake “What’s yours?”

And with that answer nothing had sounded more beautiful that the name coming from her lips “I’m Y/n.”

“Y/n”he repeated immediately,tasting every letter on his tongue.Has any name ever been so beautiful?Has his name ever been more beautiful than when he heard her saying it for the first time?

From that day on,Suguru and Y/n had spent every minute together. Counting the days would be useless.They lived within four walls,under a cypress and on the chairs of a café.They held tight in each other's arms, deeply,like two best friends,like two lovers.

They grew up together,they shared memories and secrets,pet animals,gifts and holidays.Suguru had dried the tears on Y/n face when her cat died,holding her into his arms.She had took him with her at the greenhouse and he took her with him at observatory.They were together during school and in the evenings after that.

Everything was going on perfectly,he was happy for the very first time.They shared their first kiss when she was thirteen and he was fourteen,it was awkward as they bumped into each other noses two times,but it was special.Under the pillow fort in her living room,with only the pale light of the flashlight and the storm outside the window.

“Did you know that human emit a certain amount of light?”he asked with a soft voice.

Y/n had been sad that day,crying in his arms as he tried to calm her down.That was the anniversary of her father death,she didn’t remembered much about him since she was just a small child when it happened,but still,inside her heart,she was hurting.

“What?”she mumbled,her eyes were a little red,her cheeks wet as she was holding her teddy bear to her chest.

Suguru nodded,holding the flashing “In a thousand years you could look back through a telescope and see us still moving.”he told her,shifting closer to her.

Y/n brows furrowed “You really suck at comforting people.”she laughed a bit.

“Maybe,but now you are smiling and you know something new.”he giggled with her.

“People don’t emit light,you are just messing with me.”Y/n shook her head,the smile still on her face.

“Yes,they do.”Suguru insisted “We see starts that died thousands of years ago.The starts,in turn,see us.The past and the present that it’s already past,will always be happening.We can die but somewhere,in some place,we are light still living and we always will be.”he explained,his voice was soft and beautiful just like every time that he spoke about something that he loved.

They were closer than before,their knees touching,their breath fanning on each other cheeks “I like this story.”Y/n murmured,her eyes lost in his.

“Yeah?”he said and he saw her nod “You can take it,it’s yours.”he murmured too.

“I’m going to write a book about it and you know how I’m going to call it?.”she said jokingly.

“How?”the storm outside was increasing,but he didn’t care because he could only focus on her lips and hear her heartbeat.

“The boy who sucked at comforting people”she said in a make-up voice and moving her hands theatrically.

Then he hit her with a pillow and they played and laughed like this for at least five minutes.The pillow fort crumbled above their heads,blankets everywhere as she was on her back while he was standing in front of her holding himself up with his elbows.

“You are glowing.”Y/n whispered.

The flashlight scattered on the pavement was pointing directly at them with it yellow light and she could outline every little and magnificent detail of his beautiful face.Oh,how much he had grown from the little kid she had met.He was becoming a man and he was so handsome with his dark eyes and long hair.

“So are you.”he responded,one of his hands were caressing her hair lovingly.

Suguru never felt like this before for no one,she had bewitched him,body and soul.Everything in him belonged to her in the exact moment he had first seen her on that spring day.He loved her so purely,he grew another heart to try to fit all the love but it still overflow from his eyes whenever he looked at her.

She smiled again,her face was red but she felt calm,at peace.Suguru always had this kind of magic on her,to make her feel safe and protected “So the starts already saw me kissing you?”she even felt bold as she lowered her gaze on his rosy lips.

His heart was beating fast in his ears “Yes and they will see it forever.”he whispered before closing his eyes and the distance between them.

Everything was perfect,Y/n was his girlfriend,he had a best friend that loved him dearly and he was one of the strongest around.So when it all started to go wrong?When did it end all the enjoyment?When did he started to feel sick?

His mind didn’t have pity for him,it kept remembering and remembering.What had happened with Riko,the aching sound of the clapping in his head,the way his best friend looked at him,his girlfriend crying in his arms.The grief,the things that he lost,the people he knew got his surrounded and he felt like he was drowning.

There comes a time when in order to bloom you have to imperceptibly approach the act of dying.So,at the age of seventeen,for Suguru there had been the indissoluble impulse to end it.He would have allowed himself one last attempt.Reduce physical pain with a hint of honey on the nose.

His honey was his Y/n that always liked to kiss him on the nose for good morning,he never care about how bad the things could’ve been because he knew he had her on his side.To have her kissing him and said that it was incredible to have met someone special as much as him.

Till he had almost lost her.Another mission went wrong,her beautiful face was scarred and he understood that there was nothing special in him,not if he couldn’t protect her.He was just like everyone else,just a little star that you can’t notice.

The sense of vomiting started to come after he had eaten,when he thought too much.He didn’t feel like looking at her lively eyes that supported and he didn’t wanted to feel her warm hands caressing his skin.

It didn’t felt the same anymore.What was he doing?Who was he doing all of this for?

He’s met with the same answer: “For Y/n”

Suguru and Y/n love each other,and that could even be said by those who have never really known love.

They love each other on common days, when the biggest commitment they have to complete by the end of the day is to clean the dirty cups of the breakfast,and in the special ones,when Suguru is willing to take his girlfriend to the end of the world in order to remind her that if he was crazy in love it was her fault.

There was nothing more that Suguru loved than having her hold on to him even on the hottest evenings in August and in the empty afternoons spent watching the and sunset,while her skin reflects the sun's rays.Be close to her on the sad Sundays of September and December, while they listen to one of the songs that she likes so much lying on the couch and while his hands wander under her purple sweater.

Feeding each other McDonalds fries and drinking from the same straw,while on television they send a replica of a Spielberg movie that neither of them likes but that"It's a cult Suguru,you can't despise it.It’s the law".

Taking a hundred polaroids in every place they decide to go even by chance,just because they were bored and she couldn’t stay at home for too long.Listening to the same song for whole days without getting tired,then abandoning it later because they wanted to discover something new to fall in love with.Claim that dramas are things from fifteen-year-olds or thirty-year-olds sad and lonely women,but ending up not missing even an episode because to see her curl her nose annoyed by his:

“Look Y/n,that’s you.”while he compare her to those half ineet of the protagonists he like so much.

Waiting for her for more than an hour on the stairs of the school while she finish her class and he got out from his early,just to wait for her.Then going in his dorm room and kiss her everywhere,her neck and feet,her hands, land whisper to her ear that she is beautiful, beautiful,even in the darkness of the night and in the early hours of the day.Getting up at four in the morning and leaving the school in secret because she had one of her strange cravings like wanting to drink a hot cappuccino with cream,and he can't resist satisfying her every whim.Start a TV series and never finish it,start another one and finish it on the same day.

Reading one of the books Suguru had bought in her mother library and being interrupted because Y/n was a little slut and no one has aver striped down herself naked in front of his eyes like she did.Skipping classes at school because he didn’t know how to be with her in that place but only out of this world,and then he wakes her up,buy the first train tickets to her hometown and he takes her away with him.

Going to art exhibitions,to the aquarium or to the observatory and having her stomach burning because he keep whispering dirty things in her ear,not being at the center of her attention,and end up in a bathroom the size of a box touching each other breathlessly.

Going out with Satoru,Shoko,Nanami and Haibara and competing for who can drink and kiss more people in the club and never be jealous because Suguru had only ever kissed her.But then hearing Y/n screams and yells because one girl wrote her number on his arm with a black marker,putting next to it a little heart.

Even now,when everything inside him was burning him alive,Y/n managed to be the water to calm him down.Taking him to the bathroom under the jet of water when his panic attacks start,and whisper to his ear that everything is fine,that nothing will never happen as long as he was with her.

“I wish i could go back to the time you first told me your name.Others time i wish i had never met you.”he didn’t even realized that he let that thought slip out his mouth.

When everything was easier,when none of them were in that fucked up sorcerer system but just kids in love.Where he could keep her safe from thunderstorms and spiders,giving her kisses that tasted like strawberries as they laid under the sun.

Other times he wished he had never met her,that he didn’t saw her that day in spring.Loving her wasn’t worth the idea of losing her,how terrible it was to love something that death could touch so easily.If he didn’t had her maybe he would’ve stayed the same,it’s was crazy the power that she had on him.He felt guilty,like an asshole to care about the rest of the world only because she was walking on it.

Instead he was there,stuck.How many more people had to die before his eyes,how many before it will be Y/n turn?

Y/n was on the verge of falling asleep,her ears perked up slightly at his mumble“It’s late Suguru,you should try to sleep.”hearing her voice whispering in his ear during the night made his stomach churn.

It was late,almost three in the morning as he could read on the clock on his night table,and even though his body was aching his mind didn’t let him sleep.He worried a lot,he always did as a child and kept doing it even as a teenager.

“Will the flowers in the garden grow?”

“Will the river flow in the right direction?”

“Was i right?Was i wrong?Will i be forgiven?Will i do the right thing?”

All the questions that clouded his thoughts started to strangle him.

“You didn’t eat much tonight.”Y/n kept talking softly in his ear,caressing his long dark hair,holding thigh on him “Do you want to go and grab you something?”she asked,trying to not sound to worried.

Suguru opened his eyes,only the little blue light of his clock illuminated the room,but he could make out the girl that was laying next to him.He had memorized him in the years that they had spent together,her beautiful eyes,her cute nose,her rosy lips.Her hair were messy on his pillow and smelled like his shampoo,she was wearing one of his shirt,a pair of panties and fuzzy pink socks.

She was worried,he could feel it and see it whenever he turned around to look at her and it was killing him.

He looked at the scar on her face,her slightly wrinkled and slightly pinker skin stood out like a blue gecko on a white wall.It started on the bridge of her nose,crawling down her left cheek in a perfect diagonal till under her jaw.Suguru shifted his gaze a little further to the left and lingered on the little mole on her nose,the one the he liked to kiss was now erased by the monstrosity that happened because of him.

He wasn’t the only one looking,even when his eyes were closed and he pretended to be asleep he could feel her intese gaze on him.Y/n would’ve stay awake just to observe him,the boy that once she knew better than anyone was disappearing under her eyes and she couldn’t do anything to stop him to drift away.

She observed how the bones of his pelvis were so protruding that they could also be seen from his jeans and every time she accidentally touched him in bed she was afraid he would break,he was so thin!His warm breath always tasted like cigarettes and mint tea in the morning,of cigarettes and coffe in the evenings and of cigarettes in the nights.When did he started smoking?When did che stopped eating?Did he slept enough?No.

He didn't sleep at all and when he turned on his side and saw her,as she gave up and dreamed who knows what,her hair disheveled and her lips slightly detached he felt that nauseous sensation again.

What a cliché.What a stupid routine.

Every night they slept together and every night he was forced to look at the skin of her face and the skin of her side that came out of the of his shirts that she was wearing,every night he was forced to have to feel her breathe,to feel her on him.His hands,God his hands trembled like leaves on a winter day to stop himself to reach over a touch her face,her hair,her lips.

He couldn’t bring himself to be around her just as much as before,to touch her,let alone to make love to her like he did almost every night.So he had let her take the lead.He had watched her adjust her hair and fix her makeup to look pretty for him,cooking him his favorite dishes and buying him flowers.

Red peonies.It was red peonies that she had left next to his bed that morning.Love,passion,honor and respect all the things that felt foreign to him.Y/n had chosen the bright red because every time she came to visit him it was too white.White were the walls,white was his skin,thin as hosts,and white was the ghost he was becoming.White were his pale and worn-out lips,waterless water lilies that can only dry out. White were the edges of the bed,rough sheets that she held crying and crumpled like fragile paper under the grip of her fingers.

She went to many flower shops,before she had found them of this color.The soles of her converse are worn on the sides.She have shunched her feet so much these days.Maybe she’ll have to throw them,maybe she’ll wait for holes to form where they press their heels.But she didn’t care,not if she could do something to make him happy again.

“I’m alright.”he lied with a faint smile,he closed his eyes again not baring the sight of the scar on her face.

He felt her shift closer to him,like she wanted to become one with him and for a moment he wished that she could do it.He wished that she could crawl inside his body,find where he is most ruined and love him there.

“I saw you talking with Yuki today,”she started slowly “you seemed a little shaken up.Are you sure that you are alright?”she asked again.

Suguru felt his heart clench,the emptiness that took his breath away was becoming bigger and after that afternoon there was no coming back for him.It’s wasn’t Yuki fault,he would never blame her for what she was talking to him about,unaware of the monster she was creating.

But everything that had happened to him and to the people around had contributed to bring him where he was now.Small variations in the initial condition produce large variations in the long-term behavior of a system.

On balance,then,a single action can inevitably determine the future.It is the very principle of the universe:every action,every single movement,corresponds to a reaction;every failure corresponds to another.

Every interaction he had with a human being during his existence inevitably changes that life that,with a word or a gesture,he have touched. Sometimes following his heart,doing something that makes him or others happy,as on that occasion,creating a series of chain events that would follow one another until their own destruction.

But,as they had ignored,guided by the craving to complete their mission,you only know what happens in your life,not in that of others.And when you damage a part of someone's life,you don't only damage that part.Unfortunately you can't be precise and selective.When you damage a part of someone's life,you are damaging their whole life.

Everything influences everything.

“Yes,i’m fine.”he turned to his side,his eyes still closed.

Y/n was quick to follow him,wrapping her arm around his waist,her face in his hair “Alright i believe you.”she hummed “Do you want me to come with you tomorrow?”she asked again,tracing invisible shapes on the cold skin of his chest.

Tomorrow that would’ve been another mission for him,in a small village not far away from the school.

He fell still,swearing that if she made another sound he would’ve put his head through the wall “There is no need.”he said in a flat tone.

“But- ”she tried to protest.

“Now go to sleep,it’s late.”and with that she fell asleep,holding him close to her while he was slowly drifting away from her for the last time.

“Good night,i love you.”she kissed his back,snuggling close to him to try to keep him warm.

‘Please’ Suguru thought ‘hurry and leave me.Don’t say that you love me’

“Good night.”he replied with a sour taste on his tongue.

The next morning Suguru had woken up before her,he spent the first lights of the morning just looking at her,the nauseous feeling was suffocating him to the point where he had to get up and open a window.It was the end of spring again,just like the first time he had saw Y/n for the first time.He often find himself thinking about that day,in the busy streets of the city,just to compare it to where they were now.

When he had first introduced her to Satoru and Shoko he had told them that one day he was going to marry her.The light that she emitted,was everything he wasn’t and everything he needed,he knew it since the first time he had laid his eyes on her.

Y/n was a flower and she needed the sun.Suguru wasn’t the sun,he was just a star,too little and too far away.

He kissed her hair,then her forehead,her lips for the last time before disappearing.

“I’ll see in you in two days?”she mumbled still sleepy and with her eyes closed,enjoying the feeling of his lips on her skin.

Suguru swallowed “Yes.”

“I love you,be careful.”she said to him,kissing his cheek.

“I will.”

Two days after the world came crushing down on her,suddenly there was only pain everywhere in her heart and soul.Spring brings cherry blossoms but winter seemed to reign.

She couldn’t and did not wanted to believe the words that came out from Yaga sensei mouth.The filled report,the way Satoru was screaming beside her when she became as still as ice.It couldn’t be true,Suguru couldn’t be capable of what they were accusing him.He could never kill innocent people.But didn’t he came back like he promised her?Did something really happened?

“Come back here.”Y/n didn’t even have the courage to say these words out loud.And yet, they come out of her lips without realizing it.

“Suguru is not there”Satoru warns her. Suddenly her world goes back to being gray,devoid of color,devoid of shades.

He was supposed to be back by now,after two days that he went on a mission alone,he needed to be back.

Once Satoru left,murmuring something about Yaga sensei,Y/n crossed the threshold of Suguru room with the heart in her throat,the accelerated beat covering her thoughts,the wheezing... But it's empty.He is not there.The ground begins to sag under her feet as the world around her becomes silent.It doesn't make sense.

“It doesn't make any sense” she keep repeating to herself.

His room looks so perfect,so tidy,there's not a single thing out of place... except their two chairs.They are placed next to each other in a corner of the room,almost as if they felt the need to to be close.Y/n was confused.And Suguru never leaves anything to chance:every object in his room makes sense and she couldn’t ignore those two chairs.

She had spent every night in his room,she had spent years with him and in his last few months where he was acting strange she could feel that he was trying to tell her something but didn’t knew how.

Y/n found the courage to take a few steps towards his chair,bare,placed in an almost unusual position:it was always in front of the window,about the center of the room where they could watch the clouds or the rain together.Then she moved her gaze to her chair. Nothing different,nothing unusual.What the hell did he want to tell her?What does all this mean?

“What happened to you Suguru? What do you need me to understand?”she mumbled to herself,looking around for answers.

Her eyes lingered to his desk and then she saw it.The red peonis that she had bought him were not in the right place.Usually she would’ve place them next to the window so that they could feel the sun,but right now the vase was on his desk.In the last months Y/n was the one that took care of his room,cleaning it and keeping it in order,so it was definitely Suguru who moved the vase.

Y/n moved the vase,from behind it,a letter and a sheet of paper stuck between the wall and the porcelain slips to the floor... she doesn’t think twice before grabbing the paper to read what's written on it.Casually shuffled,she opened it.

There is no doubt that it is Suguru’s.Y/n let her gaze dwell on every letter,which composes the words,giving her time to get to the point and feel her body stiffen so much that the paper slips out of her hands.

“You have everything it takes to keep shining so don't shut yourself down.I want to keep looking at you from afar.”

“It's not possible...”her broken,silent voice rumbled in the empty room.

Her mind retraces the last days they spent together,his words,his looks,his impassive certainty.The way he was disappearing more deeply.Was he leaving her?Was he breaking up with her through a stupid letter?Did he really killed innocent people?

Y/n gathered the forces she had left and drag herself out of the school.She ignored anyone who tried to stop her or talk to her,this time she would do her own thing and follow her instincts, letting it take her to Suguru,as it has always been.

A busy city.Yellow shutters in the suburbs,the engine bursting and Shoko that was still calling her to the phone.On Tuesday the observatory of the city was free for the visitors,the sign of the building seems so new to her right now,yet she’s been there so many times that two hands wouldn't be enough to count them.

She took a deep breath in front of the billboard with the name of the protagonist of this month's exhibition:today,on one of the last days of spring,there would’ve be an exhibition about the constellation of Andromeda.

The building looks deserted... is it possible that there is someone inside?After that,Y/n moved the first steps towards what was their beginning,what brought them up to this moment.

She felt lost as she roamed in the big empty halls,the bright imagines of stars,planets and other constellations made her eyes burn or maybe it was just the urge to cry.

“Did you know that in Greek mythology,Athena had put Andromeda among the starts after her death to make her immortal?”his voice came in like a hurricane,as he spoke she shattered.

Y/n turned around and finally saw him after two long days.Suguru was there,a few centimeters from her but he was kilometers away.He was wearing a black hoodie that seemed to big for him,black pants and his dark hair were free on his shoulders,only some of them where tied back in a bun.

He was so beautiful that the stars could cry for him.

She remained silent,her mouth slightly open and the words stuck in her mouth,her eyes were lucid and her throat was burning.

“You didn’t know?”he was so calm and casual about the whole situation that made her want to scream.

“Tell me it’s not true.”her voice came out shaking “Tell me you didn’t do it,please.”

Suguru looked at her,her hair were messy,her lips quivering and the light that once belonged in her eyes had disappeared.It hurt him to seen her in that state,he was the cause of it,he knew it and he hated at the same time.

“Perseus had saved her from a sea monster and then he fell in love with her.After their death they became immortal in the stars.”he continued as if he didn’t heard her.

Y/n hands were hitching in her gloves,she wanted nothing more but to run to him and hold him,kiss him and telling him that everything was going to be fine.

“We hadn’t been talking for months and now you are telling me about some myths?”the urge to cry was becoming bigger with each word.

One morning,in the past year,they woke up next to each other and suddenly the didn’t spoke the same language anymore.They hadn’t been talking ever since,only short and empty conversations that lead nowhere,until now.

“Suguru,what’s wrong?Please,talk to me”she pleaded,still refusing to believe the truth.

His hands were in his pockets,his eyes empty and he didn’t moved an inch “If this was to be the last time you are going to see me,what would you say?”his own heart was breaking,she could hear it through his cold demeanor that this was hurting him as much as it was hurting her.

“I’ll wait for you.”Y/n immediately let out,her eyes widened.

Suguru shook his head “No,i can’t let you do that.”not after all that he have done.

“You don’t get to make that choice for me.”she stubbornly replied,raising her voice.

“I’d say that thank you and that i love you.”he breathed out,now she could see a small crack in the armor that he had been wearing in the last year.

“Please don’t do this.”she was crying now,her leges were trembling as she walked towards him.

His hands were stained in blood,but she didn’t care,she let him hold her anyway “I’ll always love you.”he murmured in her hair.

“Why are you doing this?”the reality of him leaving her came down crushing her body,knocking the breath out of her.

“Because i can’t save you!”in front of her now she could feel him,the boy that she feel in love with all those years ago finally came back to the light “I can’t make you immortal,not in a world like this!”all the suppressed emotions cracked his cold facade and she felt like something was dying inside of her.

“Suguru- ”she tried to calm him down,as he let go of her.

“I can’t lose you,Y/n.I won’t survive it.”he looked the most vulnerable and human she had ever seen him.

Wiping the tears away from her eyes,her vision still blurred,with heavy breath “So you decide to just walk away?Write me a letter and disappear?”she asked.

“I’m doing what’s the best for you.”he tried to make her understand,it wasn’t easy for him either to give up on the life that he had dreamed to have with her.

“By killing people?”she screamed in disbelief.

“By making the world a better place for you.”he said slightly irritated “Don’t you understand?I want you to live a full happy life,not having to recognize your body on the obituary table!”he continued.

“It’s you what’s best for me!”she sobbed out.

Suguru eyes became watery,he had to restrain himself to just pick her up and go hide somewhere with her where nobody could hurt them “I’m not anymore.”she needed a sun not just a star.

It was a direct stab to her heart,but what hurt her the most was knowing that she didn’t do enough to help the state he was in.“How long have you been feeling like this?”she asked.

He didn’t even needed to think about it “I couldn’t sleep at night because i knew it was over between us from quite some time.”he answered,swallowing each word.

Suguru had thought about how everything started now that he was ending it.He could still remember the sweetest of their first kiss,when time slowed down and he couldn’t hear a single sound.He had no idea of what was happening around him,he was just glad that finally a piece of happiness had found him.The first time that he made her smile felt like the warmest of the sun had made his way inside him for a while.

Then the light inside him slowly died.He went from starting his morning with the ache to see her,to wake up from nightmares,the memories of her skin still clinging to his like it’s was the last time that he got to feel her.He had to do something,to change something before she became another ghost that hunted him in his sleep.

After that decision everything felt so strange to him,so distant and she didn’t deserved it.

“Please”her whole body trembled as she tried to reach out to him “come back with me.We’ll explain everything that happened and leave everything else behind while we still can.”she pleaded him.

“And live there rest of our lives on the run?”he asked shaking his head “I don’t want that for you.I-"

“This is not about what you want!”she interrupted him “You said that you are doing this for me right?Than stay with me!That’s all i ever wanted!”she confessed,wiping the tears from her mouth.

“I don’t want to be with you!”with each syllable a layer of her heart was peeled off “Not if i know that someday,because of those people out there,you will die trying to protect them.”this was suppose to made her feel better but it just pained her more.

“That’s our duty,it’s what you believe in.”she tried to make him remember“We help people that can’t stand up by themselves!”she felt a sense of dizziness,like she was stuck in a nightmare and she couldn’t wake up.

He stayed quiet for a moment,his skin crawling down his face to reveal the new identity that had taken the place of the sweet boy she fell in love with “And who help us uh?”together with that question a hole took place inside her chest.

Y/n felt like the rope that tied them together was cut as she was slowly falling,this time without him to save her “What?”it came out from her mouth with a sour whisper.

Suguru clenched his fist “Who help us,Y/n?”he asked again.

“I-I…I don’t-”her tongue felt heavy and she felt so stupid for never thinking about it before.

“You don’t know right?”a dry chuckle rumbled in his chest “We are just kids,whose gonna help us while we are helping the others?No one”his jaw was tense and his eyes had a fire that she never saw before.

“And you know what the best part is?”he retorted,with a fake smile on his lips “That they don’t even know that we are here,dying to protect them.”

He scared her.But she was more afraid of herself,of what she could’ve done for him and to be with him as the words he said started to make sense in her head.After everything that happened,when will it all stop?How many needed to die?How many Riko and Haibara there needed to be before they realized what that system was doing to them?To save people that were creating the problem in the first place and didn’t even thanked them?It was time to break the wheel that was slowly moving towards them,before it was too late.

“What is your plan then?Killing everything that comes across you,till we are the only one left?”as she came back to her senses,holding herself up with a hand against the wall.

“Yes.”so simple,so plain “I want to build a society only for sorcerers”without a inch of emotions.

She should’ve been worried,start screaming,running away or maybe even trying to kill him.The love of her life just confessed that he was about to commit a genocide,all for her.Maybe she was the real problem,maybe she was the sick one as she begged him to stay once again instead of find a way to stop him.

“I-I can change if that’s what you need!I will become stronger so that you don’t need to do all that!”Y/n exclaimed immediately.

“Y/n..”even her name felt foreign on his tongue.

“Then make me come with you!”she tried again,anything to stay with him.

“And make you do things you don’t believe in?”he said arching a eyebrow “We aren’t like this”

“But we love each other!Isn’t this enough?”she place a hand on her own chest,trying to shield what remained of her heart from his next words.

“No,love is not going to keep you alive!”Suguru insisted.

“So you don’t love me?”Y/n voice echoed through the emptiness of her soul.

“I love you,Y/n,but i don’t like you anymore.”he simply stated,his voice cold and distant.

“What?”was this a sick joke?

First he tells her that he wanted to make the world a better place for her and then that he didn’t liked her?

“Don’t you understand?I can’t even look at you,i can’t bring myself to touch you or to breathe around you!I can’t be with you without reminding myself how miserable and powerless i’am.”Suguru felt his chest burning,his lungs were about to give up on him just like his legs.

Y/n stood there like a statue,afraid that if she made a single movement she would break into pieces.All this time she had ignored the way he would avoid her eyes,her soft caress,all the times he didn’t said “I love you” back or initiated a hug or a kiss.

“That’s not true.”she lied to herself,out loud for him to hear.

“Y/n,please don’t make this harder.”it was hurting him too,like it did in the past months.

“I’m not!We are great together,that’s what you told me and to everyone else.You told me i’m your greatest love.”she protested.

“I was wrong.You are my greatest failure and I’m sorry for let it happen.”his eyes darted to the scar on her face.

“Suguru you don’t mean that.”she shook her head forcefully “Something bad had happened to you and I’m sorry that I couldn’t help you.But I will now.”she continued,trying to convince both of them.

“You want to help me?”he asked,his dry lips and pale face shined under the neon lights.

“Yes!”Y/n said immediately.

He nodded,his dark eyes were glassy for a second “Then you have to let me go.You need to let me let you go.”

Even when they were little,a small part of him knew that he would had never be enough for someone as magnetic and beautiful as her.It was him that wasn’t worthy and he dragged her along with him,suddenly her loving arms,her sweet smile weren’t worthy anymore when he looked at the bigger picture.Why would he stop there?Why couldn’t he create the perfect world?It was really for her or for the guilt he felt anytime he looked at her face knowing that he wasn’t able to protect her?

“What?No!”Y/n yelled in disbelief “We love each other,we can go through this together!”it started to became harder and harder to breathe.

“Love didn’t do any good to us and it’s time that you realize it.”Suguru seemed made of ice as he spoke “You need to let this love go.”

“It’s that’s what you want?Get over me?Make me hate you so that you can move on with you plan?”Y/n wasn’t crying anymore,she had finished all her tears and a sensation of numbness took place in her bones.

It would’ve been easier,leaving without saying goodbye,having her hating him so much that she couldn’t breathe.The light inside Y/n was the most precious thing for him guard,he couldn’t let the world suffocate it.

“I just want you to see you shine.”Suguru slowly said,like he was reading to her one of his astronomy books.

“By leaving me and saying the we aren’t meant to be?”she scoffed“Is this worth it?Losing everything worth more than being alone and becoming a mass murderer?”she emit with such a discomfort,tired.

“It worth more than say that i want this life.To be with you and pretending that everything is perfect around us when it’s not.”he took a step back,placing his hands in his pocket.

Y/n felt like vomiting again,nodding her head,her heart reduces to ashes “You want to do this for me but my love for you is not worthy for you to stay?”

Suguru didn’t answered immediately.“For Y/n”his mind kept repeating inside his head, “Even if she will hate you,you are doing this for her.For Y/n.”

All for her.

“All I know is that love is supposed to make you feel stronger,but whenever i’m with you i feel like a week little boy again.Sometimes i wish i have never met you”he admitted for the first time,she had poisoned him with her love,making him believe that he was incredible,something special when in reality he wasn’t“.So that i wouldn’t have become who I’m about to be.”

If he took a step closer he could’ve seen the way his words were emptying her chest “So it is my fault?Is that what are trying to say?"she whispered with a choke.

He didn’t knew how to answer that.

“It is mine!I was trying to protect you,I was trying to keep you safe.It was like I had this one job.I had a job and I was doing it wrong.I ruined everything and that's why I'm sorry.But i guess that’s what I do:i disappointment the people that I love the most”

That was what he wish he had told her,but instead he stayed quiet.The anger,the guilt was burning him alive,not making him see the true reality of things.But how could he live with that?Knowing that she was out there in a fucked up world and he wasn’t doing nothing to change it?That he was too weak to keep her safe?

There was a moment of silence,they just stood there,in between and under the starts that he loved so much to tell her about.

An hour,a minute,a second.Every moment of their lives together seems to be punctuated by ticks slipping out of their hands in a few moments.The only thing she could do to hold them back and feel them for a few more moments on her skin was to try to cling to the present,living it.

“I’m sorry.”she admitted “I’m sorry if i had ruined you with my love.”a soft kiss on her forehead as she closed her eyes to savor that moment.

“I’m sorry that our love wasn’t enough.”he whispered,disappearing forever.

His goodbye felt like waking up from a dream,like knowing that from that day on nothing would’ve been the same.They would’ve been forever carved in the universe,the stars would be able to look back down on the earth and still see them,holding and loving each other even after their deaths.

Suguru loves Y/n.

Y/n loves Suguru.

But the story still ends this way.

That story destroyed her.Their story,although in the end she could have considered it only her own,at least in the last year.Y/n didn’t knew exactly when he stopped fighting.Maybe he had put a point scared by the idea that she could do it first,that she could confess that she didn't want him anymore after all that had happened.Frightened by the thought that they could become the shadow of their regrets.She didn't know when and if he stopped loving her,seeing himself in her future,considering her the only one for him.

It could have gone differently,Y/n said to herself years later.But no.Because she knew it well how they were:stubborn and clumsy,too serious,too hasty,proud as hell.When did he decided that he wasn't worth it anymore?It would have been enough for her to see him angry,to see him disappear,to feel him like ice.But no.With immense calm he decided that he was no longer for her and she,so resigned and afflicted,tried to stop him and felt like she had never known him.

What should have she told him?She didn’t know.She felt like she didn't know him.And then she believed that she had stopped believing in it.He always told her that his strength was her.It's not that she didn't trust them,but she trusted him more.His hands in hers,his splendid words,the dreams he built around her to protect her from everyone.

He protected her from him too,so he told her.As if she could ever want anything else.As if when she think of love she don't think of him.As if she could ever hate him.But when did he had decided to leave?Or rather,when did he had decided that he wouldn't come back?Because she went on but in every gesture she keep looking for him,waiting for him.She think of him every morning,but also in the morning and every hour in the middle.She always think of him,she always think of his perfume,his looks. To all the empties it had left her of him.

So many things have changed since he’s not there,but she know that if he came back she wouldn't explain them to him:they're not worth anything because he wasn’t there.And since Suguru was gone,Y/n was wherever he was.

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